#okay sorry im normal
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could have been me by the struts is so oikawa tooru it hurts. actually.
#kndy.txt#I WANNA TASTE LOVE AND PAIN#WANNA FEEL PRIDE AND SHAME#I DON'T WANNA TAKE MY TIME#DON'T WANNA WASTE ONE LINE#I WANNA LIVE BETTER DAYS#NEVER LOOK BACK AND SAY#IT COULD HAVE BEEN ME!!!!!#okay sorry im normal#im normal#im not normal why does oikawa tooru have to be enter my mind when i listen to music#i hate him
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Amnesiac goth solidarity
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#shadowheart#bg3 tav#bg3 dark urge#my art#okay thats enough rogier posting sorry. He's in my brain. Im normal now#thinking about it i think they're besties which is fun because matt and shadowheart had a big rivalry going on#rogier-posting
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Good thing there's espers on board, no car crashes today everyone 👍
#serirei#reigen arataka#serizawa katsuya#tome kurata#hanazawa teruki#shigeo kageyama#ritsu kageyama#sho suzuki#ekubo#he's on the dashboard he's chilling#mp100#mob psycho 100#mp100 fanart#sketches#comics#okay now the normal tags are done time to blabber#im very sorry for no art for a while pfft i was on vacation#I was away from home since Wednesday and the signal was so CHOPPY#and THEN I GOT SICK WHILE ON VACATION#we were on the road for a big portion of the vacation so i had this in mind#i had to go and find some paper and pen in my grandparent's house for this#i drew this while sick please be nice to me#anyway thats all thank you mwa#mi art stuff#i always add the dialogue in digital all my sketches have zero dialogues written on them#well there are but its on the side of the sketch psh
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Been having COMPLETELY normal thoughts about a pre-timeskip Germa AU recently
#if thats not up your alley i am sorry#because i have like 20 more posts of this au ready to cook ��#if youre curious pls talk to me about this i swearrrr im feeling normal about it#just. don't look at my google docs okay#one piece#zoro#sanji#zosan#sanzo#sorry the comic looks so terrible!#i drew it all in a super low quality without realising#and i have a rule not to stress over tumblr posts too much#bc this is something very fun for me and i dont wanna ruin it by taking it to seriously!#so i didnt redraw it lol#usopp#nami#luffy#my art#artists on tumblr#Germa AU#ely's art
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no you don't understand. when byler kiss i need them to be gasping into each other's mouths and holding onto each other for dear life. i need them to be shoving each other into things and knocking things over because they're so desperate to be closer. i need them grinning like idiots against each press of lips. i need tears. i need forehead touches. i need hands running down each others' bodies. i need
#let them be desperate okay.#let them make out sloppy#also like. please remember that will has not kissed anyone. and assuming that he doesnt start kissing dudes randomly during the timeskip#then mike will be his first kiss. so like. let them be clumsy and awkward about it is what im saying#let them knock shit over like wilhelm and simon did that one time#ok sorry im normal can u tell 👍 puttinf them in terrariums#stranger things#mike wheeler#will byers#byler#st.txt
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bear with me for a moment im going all invisible string theory:
1. so you're telling me we had this dialogue at the beginning of the episode with buck comparing the cruise rescue (subconsciously actually meeting tommy and tommy risking everything for the 118 aka his family) to being struck by lightning and being dead for 3m17s
2. to then have the kiss happening exactly at 3m18s into the apartment scene at the end of the episode aka he was kissed at the 18th second the same second he was brought back to life??
3. not in this episode but another lightning strike parallel when he's wheeled into the hospital and they stop in the ER that's the moment they get a pulse but also the scene where buck kisses tommy in 7x06 after he shows up even tho he fought a fire for the last dozen+ hours cause he promised to buck he would make it!!
#sorry sorry im being completely normal over these scenes okay!! (lies)#911 abc#911stacked#911 7x06#911 7x04#bucktommy#evan buckley#tommy kinard#kinley#invisible string theory#now imam go have dinner so to be continued lol < my rewatch#911 meta#911txt
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I know i complained about the stardew valley penny and George cutscene at length but the it really is fucking. bizarre the lengths people will go to defend it because "the game lets you pick to side with him" (please do literally any reading about wheelchair use and realize why it's a problem that the game rewards you for moving someone without their consent.) or variants of that sentiment but then it's like. the rest of the cutscene is also So Weird
Like. Penny moves an old man in a wheelchair without asking him. He gets upset, she asks if you saw what happened The game prompts you to select from;
"I was. You did a kind thing there, Penny." (+50 friendship with Penny)
"I was. You should've asked instead of assuming George wanted help." (-50 friendship with Penny)
"I'm just taking a walk, minding my own business." (No effect on friendship.)
And these are the REVISED options. Before 1.4, the second option wasn't"you should have asked", it was "You should've left him alone. Now he's grumpy."
So already it's kind of shit. The person she's upset - who's entire existence in the game is experiencing inaccessibility, let's be real - because he was shoved without permission just for being in a wheelchair doesn't have his friendship level affected at all.
Regardless of which answer you pick, George apologizes (Penny does not apologize in every choice! But the guy she shoved does!) and says she was kind.
Once he's gone, she talks about how hard it must be to be old. It's worth noting, for what it's worth, that George has been using a wheelchair since a mining accident caused his immobility; it's not a result of age, and you learn about this whole he struggles with a bookshelf in his own home, where presumably he has been living with a wheelchair for at least two decades (given how he talks about his grandson), which is a whole different can of worms because why is this never addressed in a fictional community with multiple craftspeople who frequently do projects for each other?
Anyways. So Penny's like, damn, sucks that he's old. And the options the game gives you - all neutral in terms of friendship points - are:
"I'd rather not think about it."
"It's just a different part of life."
"That's why we should respect our elders."
"I'd rather die young..."
Like are you kidding me? You have a cutscene that's about being disabled - it's not about aging, because his disability was not caused by aging, it is explicitly and directly about the fact that he is in a wheelchair. And the game assumes your opinions will be "Not my problem,", "That's an old people thing,", and "I'D RATHER BE DEAD"? And this is something people just... don't remark on? Even in conversations ABOUT this cutscene? Like, George's mentions of being disabled are already Constantly Miserable -able-bodied writer standard quality - but the game is just like. Yeah you can say you'd rather be dead rather than express any positive sentiment about this guy surviving a traumatic mining accident. You can't say it's great that he's able to still be a part of the community in his chair, or renovate his house to make it accessible the way you can build ENTIRE HOMES for other characters. The community center you rebuild in the Good Ending for the community is only accessible by stairs. The path out of his home is dirt. It's the little things, y'know, like... obviously he wasn't thought about as his own character. The game's writing sees him as a source of conflict for others, and down to the very tiles of the terrain, he's irrelevant.
AND THEN THE TOWN DOCTOR DOES A HIPAA VIOLATION AND GETS SAD IF YOU SAY GEORGE SHOULD HAVE AGENCY OVER HIS OWN BODY. WHAT ARE WE FUCKING DOING HERE
#stardew valley#ableism#long post#IM SORRY ITS JUST LIKE. EVERY TIME SOMEONE IS LIKE NO ITS NOT ABLEIST BECAUSE SHE WAS BEING NICE#OR BC THE GAME LETS YOU MILDLY CRITICIZE HER#ITS LIKE DO YOH HEAR YOURSELFFFFF#SPEAK TO ANY DISABLED PERSON EVER PLEASEEEE#okay normal again.#ugh.#patch me through to palaven command
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OKAY question
i wanna reread choices and edit it but i can never make myself do it cause im like "ugh wow so long i simply cannot"
but also, every time i do reread parts of it i have like *thoughts* like SO many thoughts about it and about what i was thinking at the time and how that has or hasn't changed and what i was trying to do and what i love and what i hate and blah blah blah
SO the question: if i did like a lil read-a-long with soph thing, would anyone be interested? like maybe in the form of small podcast episodes where i discuss the chapters as i edit them and you guys can like tell me the different stuff you want me to talk about etc etc and then i will have the motivation to actually do this and also somewhere to dump all of my *thoughts*
or is that like, a stupid idea that no one asked for? i cannot decide whether this is leaning more on the fun cute side or the annoying keep this to yourself side, Y'KNOW????? so i ask
#like in theory i could do this on tiktok like a normal person#but tiktok terrifies me and i don't wanna#or i could just write posts about it#but i feel like that is going to be infinitely less fun to me than just like#going on lil rants#like extended public voice notes#but again maybe a horrible idea idk#sometimes i just WANT to talk about it like in depth because im a nerd#and i wanna love it again#okay sorry im done now#soph rambles#choices
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#long hair dazai slaps so hard tho#no chuuya it wasnt a dream it was A Vision#I like breaking dazai /j#im so normal about hand kisses too#okay I will stop brain rotting Im sorry#soukoku#skk#bsd dazai#bsd chuuya#bsd#bungou stray dogs#sketches#my art#sketch
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Still on my Ulder & Wyll bullshit but like
I keep thinking of Ulder Ravenguard, sending away his only son at seventeen, and years later hearing of a hero with a fine rapier and mismatched, kind eyes and manners from a storybook, and thinking, demanding surely not. that cannot be my son. my son is a devil's servant. it cannot be. i have no son.
and then after seven long years meeting Wyll again, at Wrym's Rock through a mindflayer's thrall, and feeling something like relief, not at seeing him but at this cold surety that this boy, this man, this hero of the frontiers could not be his son, because his son was not this tall and old and sure-footed, and did not have curling horns and a devil red eye, and the rumors must be wrong, and this Blade must be a stranger.
And then Wyll looks at him, with such kind eyes- his mother's eyes still, even devil-tainted- and calls him "father", and he knows, he knows, and his son is here, so much older and wearier and stronger, too, and he's a hero and a man and by gods he's a monster and by gods he's his son.
#never gonna be normal about this#sorry#i exist to scream about wyll ravenguard please and thank you#they're just so dhagfdskjgfyuosgd#its about the themes okay#something about distance and meeting each other again unrecognizable. something about seven years to be a man and seven years still the sam#idk its too late for coherent thoughts okay#bg3 wyll#baldurs gate wyll#ulder ravengard#like you know the line: “i was a fool at best; a traitor at worst. and the grand duke ravenguard suffers neither”#sadlkfghouysdglfusdjgujdsljhsdf#foaming at the mouth#literally so insane about them#someday im gonna write that fic i want to#and im giving the 3 other people who care about them 3d8 physic damage#wyll#wyll ravengard
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what is the theory that ivan manipulated the event where till and mizi met the wagyein?
It's not a theory, actually! It's confirmed that Ivan orchestrated the whole event. The true reason as to why however is still unknown. The information provides more context to this scene, though:
During the earlier times of ALNST the most rational explanation for this scene was that Till ran after a flower crown (presumably Mizi's) and Ivan followed him in out of curiosity. Now we know that Ivan was conveniently just standing there because he was waiting.
Side note, I find it heartbreaking (and maybe a little funny, sorry) that Till most likely didn't notice Ivan in this scene. That's just like him, isn't it. Always too busy running after Mizi while Ivan trails behind, an ever-present shadow.
I'm not sure how Ivan manipulated the circumstances for both of them to end up there, but it is confirmed that everything was intentional. What strikes me most is how they describe this particular scene:
I can't copy down what they said word-for-word (Patreon info), but they described Ivan watching "creepily" as Till and Mizi are faced with danger. We know that Ivan was familiar with the Cerberus wagyein beforehand, enough to touch its teeth and even to rest himself inside its maw. To Ivan, the wagyein is not dangerous, but to Till and Mizi, it could be. Ivan prepared the wagyein, led them there, and watched "creepily" from afar as Till fell on his knees, seemingly injured.
The closest I can get to making sense of Ivan's "scheme" is that he wanted to see how other children would react in a dangerous situation. Ivan's always been an observer, after all, and he's learned to survive by copying the more "normal" behaviors of his peers. This situation occured when Ivan was still young and had not yet developed his more charming mask, so perhaps he staged this encounter to study a situational response, to learn and mimic the emotion of fear. And what better subjects for the experiment than two of the most expressive and reactive humans of their batch? It helps that he was already fixated on Till beforehand, too. I think Ivan became irreversibly obssessed after this incident, especially since it's framed as a turning point in Ivan's life, comparing Till to the stars.
This is just my attempt at an interpretation, though. It could very well be for another reason. He most likely chose Till and Mizi specifically for personal reasons, not just for reaction. I'm still not sure on the purpose behind the whole thing.
The team wanted to capture Ivan's "dark emotions" through the shot of his stalking, which could relate to his more sinister intentions. His gaze can be read in a few different ways, though. Curiosity, interest, fear, etc. Maybe that's why they decided to redraw the shot in ROUND 6.
I think this better sells the feeling they were trying to convey.
#ivan u fucked up little guy.#also okay i just wanna clear this up#i know i make a lot of posts about ivans darker side and his more problematic traits#but this isn't me trying to villainize him or reduce him down to “toxic yaoi”#I HOPE YOU GUYS KNOW ALL MY TOXIC YAOI POSTS ARE LIGHTHEARTED.#i just want to clarify that ivan was always intended to be a darker and complicated character. even since his debut in round 3#the way i refer to ivan (“twisted” “creepy” “obssessive” etc) are literally the direct words used by q and v themselves to describe him#but despite that id like to emphasize that i don't see ivan as a villain or a completely bad person. hes complicated#there is no normalcy in this world they are living in. none of the characters know what being truly normal is#this isn't me condoning his actions#but it has to be acknowledged that alnst is fucked up in nature. we can't expect perfect relationships from people who are born to die#plus ivan has a lot more layers past the “dark” parts. he's constantly battling himself and his desires#especially at the end of round 6 where he performs a myriad of conflicting actions (kiss strangle peck smile)#thanks to the r6 production notes we now know that ivan was going through a rapid internal conflict#“sure and unsure at the same time”#there is sooo much to ivan. his low self-esteem. his desire and possessiveness despite knowing till will never love him#his VEHEMENT insistence that till will never love him vs his desperate persistence in trying anyway#uh i need to shut up i think#anyways sorry. just wanted to clarify my thoughts on him in case people think im. yk.#in short. hes a fucked up little freak and he fascinates me. this poor tragic child. i love him.#SORRY I GOT CARRIED AWAY#alnst#alien stage#alien stage ivan#alnst ivan#asks
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thinking so long and hard about joyness once more…like yesss they are very cute and sweet and all but i think them getting together even after their History is sooo interesting. like, does joy first start hanging out around sadness and talking with her more often out of guilt? is it performative? when does it stop being performative?? and at what point does joy realize it’s stopped being performative? how does joy feel when every single interaction she has with sadness after the events of the first movie are just like…constant reminders of how she screwed up with her prior? liking someone who makes her feel that bad when she normally never lingers on what she's done wrong just seems so counterintuitive (fun fact: joy has literally never genuinely apologized for anything she's done, across both movies. she's acknowledged and fixed her mistakes before, sure, but she has never expressed guilt so straightforwardly like that. is she simply incapable of it? or has she just...never given importance to feeling guilty before so long as she can just Fix her mistake? just something very interesting i've noticed...)!!
like, joy’s canonically admitted that she’s literally tried to kick sadness out of headquarters before. that’s truly how little joy thought of her before she got to know her better…she totally would have been fine with just. never seeing her again. imagine disliking your coworker THAT much since the very first day you met her and now you have feelings for her…?! not a possibility joy ever would have considered, and i think joy would struggle a Lot with coming to terms with that initially. she is the Queen of cognitive dissonance. of being Delusional. it’s HARD to shake off old habits just like that!! joy is someone who very much doesn’t fully acknowledge how she feels until it gets so intense it bubbles up to the surface and breaks through her usual demeanor (we’ve seen that both with how she’s gotten sad and angry before…who’s to say romance would not be the same. i think she’d just keep denying it until she just. has an Ah Shit moment with sadness one day. probably over something completely mundane).
and it certainly doesn’t help that sadness is, well. Sadness! she clearly admires joy from the very beginning even when joy treated her so poorly (knowing her she probably thought she deserved it…sigh). she’d literally just assume absolutely nothing would come out of her feelings. and you know she probably might even romanticize and Enjoy it in a weird way…i mean think about it. she canonically likes sad romance novels…this is her own "tragic romance" (apparently. SUPPOSEDLY) so i think she’d kind of insistently cling to that. define their entire relationship as unrequited and reallyyy lean into it and warp anything that happens otherwise to fit her little Doomed Yuri vision. she's observant as hell for pretty much everything, normally, but she just has goddamn Horse Blinders on for just this one thing specifically.
she’s just completely unaware of how fundamentally she’s changed joy and shattered her entire worldview (meanwhile joy is just busy having a whole crisis about exactly that). and NOW she has to deal with actually being treated like she matters, both by joy and the other emotions?? helloooo? she’s definitely got a lot to process by this point because Her entire way of living has changed too now in an entirely different direction.
AND then you add to that how it's pretty clear that sadness knows joy pretty well, but joy still has a Lot to learn about sadness because she never gave her a chance before...very much a recipe for guilt and confusion and miscommunication and other such weird occurrences to arise.
BASICALLY tldr theyre both kind of idiots and i think their dynamic is a little more complicated than people give it credit for. joyness is a veryyy. She fell first (sadness) she fell harder (joy) type of dynamic. To Me.
#nebposting#IS ANY OF THIS COHERENT. PROBABLY NOT BUT THAT'S FINE.#adding this to the long list of thigns i wanna draw out eventually. chanting to myself IM NORMAL IM NORMAL IM NORMAL#SORRY TJEYRE JUST. SO INTERESTING....opposites attract trope sure but opposites also. KINDA fundamentally clash!!#ugh been obsessed with them for 9 years atp i feel crazy#.............#okay yknow what sure joyness tag could always use more posts LOL#joyness#joy x sadness#joy#sadness#<- those last two are for personal organizational purposes lol#side note i feel like i'm just. explaining my thought process for both of my fics so far pretty much HDJKHF.#i definitely had a lot of these thoughts floating around trying to write for them....
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WAITWAITWAIT HOLD ON. THIS CUTE LITTLE THING THEY DO DURING THE SONG
THEY LEAN IN TOWARDS EACH OTHER THEYRE SO IN LOVE THEYRE HAVING A GOOD TIME DANCING AND SINGING TOGETHER LOOK AT THE CUTIES
#sorry im. normal. im so very normal#theyre my special lil guys okay#trolls#dreamworks trolls#trolls world tour#trolls poppy#trolls branch#broppy
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I made graphics instead of going to bed
Plus zadr stuff,,,
#im so tired uugghhhh#anyways#i tried doing more of the show style... figured people would like that more i guess#they make me SICK i hope they EXPLODE (i love them so much#art#my art#invader zim#nickelodeon#zim iz#dib membrane#trinkets#pixels#blinkies#sorry i am literally so embarrassed to post this for no reason#ive posted zadr before i just feel like im gonna get thrown into a volcano for this one#even though i LIKE what i made and i LIKE zadr#okay. okay im normal#zadr#zim and dib romance#👍ok#forgive me father for i have sinned. i am cringe#OKAY okay im like so normal and stuff and im like totally not nervous to post this#<- LIE#okay SHUT UP just post it. loser
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hello person whos "taking creative liberties" in adapting a work. in front of you is a character with heavy scarring and disfigurement. your task is to find a way to adapt them without removing this disfigurement or scarring, implying the disfigurement or scarring was "deserved", or making their disfigurement the reason theyre a villain. if you fail i will put a 12 gauge into your ribs and fire it so many times your bones will be able to be snorted like coke. you have infinite attempts and you will not be timed. good luck.
#okay whatever SORRY. im so pissed off#fucking hell. EVERYONE GET NORMAL ABOUT SCARS AND DISFIGUREMENTS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE#speaking.mp4
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