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lululawrence · 1 year ago

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Annual Writing Self-Evaluation 2023

Thank you for tagging me @allwaswell16! I am so happy every year that this (I believe) brainchild of @juliusschmidt's from 2016 still exists in various forms! hehe I apparently missed doing this in 2021 and 2022, and I was determined not to miss it again so here we go!

List of works published this year: My Other Half Was You Gemma's Dad (Could Use A Guy Like Me) Quite the Pickle Livin' In A Daydream (Gimme a Solution and) Watch Me Run With It You Are A Song Did You Know I Fit In A Dryer? Were You There On That Christmas Night? Team Gaelic FTW No Constraints Odds Are That We Will Probably Be... Damsel in Christmas Distress Snow In Love

Work you are most proud of (and why): Oof. This is always such a hard question to answer. Almost as hard as the next one, and the next one and the next one....... hah honestly though, I think... I'm honestly sincerely proud of most of my fics from this year simply because I got them written. I'll go more into that later, I'm sure, but maybe... I think maybe My Other Half Was You or Odds Are That We Will Probably Be... and for very different reasons. My Other Half Was You was written based on artwork by @moon-sun-thyme for @1dreversebang and the moment I saw her artwork I had these vague ideas coming to mind and I am quite proud with how I was able to bring them to life so closely resembling what I originally thought of when I saw the art. And for Odds Are, I wrote that for @1dtrickortreatfest so it had to be exactly 666 words and that's always a trick (heh), but in this case I had to completely world build and set up the situation and lead everyone to the conclusion within that word count while making it somewhat compelling... and I think I was able to manage it. I hope I was, anyway haha

Work you are least proud of (and why): lmaooooo usually this answer is really hard for me to answer, but this year it's not haha i have a few fics that I literally wrote to just remind myself that I could. That not everything has to be thought out and polished and pretty, sometimes it's just a matter of getting words on paper and putting them out into the world immediately, hoping for the best, and they absolutely served their purpose! I'm fond of them still, but that doesn't mean I'm proud of them necessarily haha So I would have to say Damsel in Christmas Distress (which I still love dearly, simply for how self indulgent that silly thing is for me haha) and Quite the Pickle. Again, my darling Stylinshaw fics getting the brunt of it here, but they did as they needed to for me. I'll maybe try to write them a longer, more polished fic with some thought behind it this year, as they clearly deserve.

A favorite excerpt of your writing: GAHHHH I hate this question every damn time! Okay, I don't know if this is my absolute favorite thing I wrote this year, BUT it immediately came to mind, and I do very much like it so, here's an excerpt from Gemma's Dad (Could Use A Guy Like Me). I just adore Harry being a fumbling idiot around a pretty boy hahaha Ever since he had dug up his garden, he preferred to start in the back where the job was a lot more complicated to work around and then move to the front, which was far easier. Now, though, Harry was wondering if this was the right decision because Louis was also mowing his lawn. That wasn’t a problem, of course, except he was shirtless and that only defined for Harry the fact he really had grown up. Louis used to try to show off for the neighborhood by mowing any number of lawns shirtless in middle school and high school, but he had been a scrawny kid with little to no meat on his bones and Harry had thought it adorable back then. Now, on a sweltering day like it was, he was probably shirtless just to be as cool as possible as the sun beat down on him, and Harry’s vision wasn’t as good as it used to be, but he could still tell that Louis had filled out since going to college. He was still a thin man, but as he pushed the mower through the tall grass, Harry could see the muscles he clearly put effort into. Add to it the chest hair that was only growing darker as he continued to sweat and the smattering of tattoos he’d gotten since he turned eighteen and it was clear he had grown up. Harry couldn’t help it when the glint of the sun off Louis’ sweaty skin made him lick his lips without even thinking. Clearing his throat and thankful it was obvious Louis was too focused to notice Harry ogling him from his own yard, Harry pulled the starter and began to work on his own yard.

Share or describe a favorite review you received: I've got three that immediately came to mind, so excuse me while I mention all three as quickly as I can manage lol First was from @allwaswell16 for Gemma's Dad. I'd had a lot of difficulty with a someone reading motivations and meaning in the characters and story that I took a lot of care in ensuring were actually avoided as I wrote it. There were a lot of pitfalls I could have fallen into when writing the fic, but one person just kept asking over and over again for things I thought I had already done and my beta assured me I had sufficiently covered etc, but I still worried so when Anitra gave the review she did of it on her podcast, it literally made me cry a little bit lol Second was @londonfoginacup in response to (Gimme a Solution and) Watch Me Run With It when she commented "Ah so you really just tore your chest open and picked out your beating heart and handed it to me here, didn’t you" because... well I hadn't really considered it when I'd been writing the fic, but I guess I kind of did exactly that, yeah. haha And then lastly I want to thank @tommokat for their lovely comments on Snow In Love regarding the Michigan geography and freak lake effect snow that can be experienced there because I tried my very best to describe the absolute chaos that is that region in the wintertime and they basically affirmed that I had accurately captured it. Genuinely, the best gift I could have gotten haha

A time when writing was really, really hard: Excuse me while I laugh a bit hysterically until I cry alksdhglskfja The last year or two have been incredibly difficult for a whole host of reasons, but the ones that most affected my writing were my lingering (and seemingly unending) burnout combined with an absolute lack of time/energy available to write. There were so many times this year that I thought I wouldn't be able to do it or thought I'd have to pull out of various fests and just... cut down on things, but I kept pushing and kept trying and I did it. I'm so fucking proud of myself, honestly.

A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: Jordan North in Did You Know I Fit In A Dryer? Well, honestly, Louis in that fic too. And the entire premise of the fic. Really all of it surprised me lololol I never expected to write Jordan in a fic. Ever. hahahaa And as I've barely dabbled in a couple of weed candies is all, I certainly did not anticipate ever writing someone as THAT HIGH. sooooo...yeah just all of it hahaha

How did you grow as a writer this year: Psh. Bold of you to assume I've grown as a writer this year when I was merely doing what I could to survive haha if anything I kind of wonder if I went backwards in my writing abilities but who the fuck knows, really haha

How do you hope to grow next year: I just... I dunno man. I just kinda hope I'm in a better place this time next year so I'm just not so fucking tired all the time and so I have actual time to write, you know? lol continued good vibes are always welcome here, folks haha

Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): Like... everyone. hah I'm getting a little emotional thinking of everyone who helped me keep going this year. but the greatest? probably @londonfoginacup again. She was the biggest influence in actually getting my Big Bang finished because I didn't want to disappoint her (even though?? I know I won't??? like.. anyway) haha and then I wrote like three fics for her/dedicated them to her just because... like. she keeps me going some days honestly so yeah. Emmu. You're the bestest always babes. Love you.

Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: Listen, all I'm saying is in one of my fics it hits a little too close to home. Like I kind of wrote Harry's starting place... and kinda where he is for a lot of the fic... pretty much exactly how I was feeling, and still pretty much am, though for very different reasons. So it's maybe a little too much of my real life emotionally speaking in there yeah

Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: New? Not so much hahaha just don't give up!

Any new projects you're looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: YES. I was just talking with @moon-sun-thyme this morning that I started the year by posting a fic based on her art, and I'm going out of this year focusing on the fic we will be collaborating on together for the @onedirectionbigbang hehe so I'm very very excited to get started on that one. It's a fic I've been wanting to write almost ever since I first heard the song Satellite, so I am READY to delve in and lose myself to it, honestly. In the whole... one night every week or two I have to write. hahaha Here's hoping I make the deadline haaaaa

Tag three writers whose answers you'd like to read: MAN I have no idea who has and hasn't done this yet! So maybeeeee @justanothershadeofblue, @hellolovers13, anddddd @quotefromthatshow and @louandhazaf if you haven't done it already and want to! And shh I know it’s four but who cares lolol

*All answers should be about fics posted in 2023

Past Years: 2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 and 2020 | 2022(ish)

#annual writing self evaluation #writing stuff #about me #2023 in writing #i'm trying to tag it using all the things i tried searching as i went looking for my old ones #the fact i can't find a 2021 one when i swear i did one is frustrating but whatever lol #hope this works and i can find it next year hahaha #i also can't believe i've done these going back to 2016 that is WILD lol #okay enjoy y'all love you bye

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fluentisonus · 6 days ago

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javert as an owl instead of having enormous whiskers has enormous ear tufts

#okay last owl post for real for real I'm actually done now i swear .#<- i know this is the tjird time I've said it but I'm serious #thoughts #les mis #<- sorry to people who follow this tag

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giggly-squiggily · 2 years ago

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Hii can i request lee mitsuya and lers draken and baji

Of course you can, anon! I've gotcha covered!

CW: Swearing- the Toman Gang are all potty mouths and need their own brand of soap (especially Baji) (Affectionate); angst, light mention of homophobia

Cloud 9 (Taglist)

@duckymcdoorknob, @baby-tickles2022, @cupcake-spice13, @myreygn

“Mitsuya’s hiding something.” Baji growled, side eyeing the mentioned man in the distance. “What’s he so tight lipped about?”

“Knowing him, it’s probably sewing related.” Draken shrugged, not bothering to move from his spot lying back. It was Friday, and with no immediate Toman meetings or homework assignments due, the tattooed highschooler’s only plans were to work out, sleep, and take Emma out somewhere nice. “Leave him be- you know how he gets when he’s in ‘the zone’.”

The ‘zone’ was their loving way of saying Mitsuya becomes a hermit during his projects- not talking to anyone, grunts as his only form of communication. He turned up to Toman meetings looking like he’d been at work all night, dark circles under his eyes and bandages on the tips of his fingers. It was a bit unhealthy, but not even Mikey could pull him out of it, so they’ve unspokenly agreed not to bring too many projects up if Mitsuya looked particularly ragged.

“That’s the thing- last I checked, he’s not working on anything!” Baji waved a hand to emphasize his point. “I haven’t seen him with his notebook at all.”

That was new. Draken opened his eyes, brow’s furrowing in thought. “No notebook?” That was the usual sign he was entering the ‘zone’.

“And his fingers! They look fine!” Baji nodded more, talking with his hands. “He’s got no bandaids, and there’s no needles anywhere! He’s definitely not in the ‘zone’. Something else is going on.” Baji looked back towards Mitsuya, squinting. “You think he’s mad at us?”

“Unlikely. You know how he gets when mad.” Draken sat up, following Baji’s gaze. The other didn’t seem angry at the least. If anything, there was a noticeable droop to his shoulders. “Think he’s upset?”

“Hm…” Baji got up, slapping dust off his thighs. “One way to find out.”

~~~

It took them less than five minutes to wander over, taking a seat on each side of their friend. “Ay, Mitsuya.” Draken threw an arm over his shoulder in greeting, starting the other into alert. “What’s up? Why are you sitting here like it’s a funeral?”

“I’m not…” He began, fading off then. A shadow passed over his face, resealing his lips. “I’m fine.”

“The hell you are. We’ve known you since middle school, you really suck at lying.” Baji grumbled as he lightly shoved him. “If someone’s giving you shit, I’ll kick their ass.”

“Baji, what did I tell you about resorting to violence.” Draken glared.

“Says the guy who threw Takemitchy’s entire house at Mikey.” Baji shot back.

“It wasn’t an entire house, it was more his front yard.”

“Same thing.”

“It’s not-”

“Guys, please.” Mitsuya cut them off, sounding incredibly tired. “If you’re gonna fight, can you do it somewhere else? I’m not in the mood.”

Oh yeah, something was wrong. “Mits. What’s going on for real.” Draken asked, returning his attention to the teen. “You know you can talk to us, right?”

Mitsuya bit his lip, hiding the slightest hint of a quiver. “I’m fine, I swear.” He grunted, voice thick. He started to stand, but Draken’s arm was like iron. “Draken, let me go.”

“Mitsuya-”

“Ken.” His voice was firm, eyes hard. “Please. Let me go.”

Government names. This was serious. Draken pulled his arm back, freeing the other. Mitsuya started to leave.

“Oh hell no, like that shit’s gonna work.” Baji reacted before anyone could stop him, grabbing Mitsuya around the waist and pulling him down. Almost immediately they were fighting, elbows going and fist connecting. “Baji, get the hell off!” Mitsuya growled.

“Kiss my ass! You’re gonna talk! One way or another, I’m getting an answer!” Baji twisted, quickly pinning the other down against the cool gravel. With fast hands, he had Mitsuya’s wrist pinned beside his head. “There.”

“Baji…” Mitsuya hissed, expression dark. “Let me go. Now.”

“Oo, scary. Like that’s ever worked before.” Bounding up both hands with one of his own, he dropped the other to his waist, starting to tickle. “Come on, talk to me, you ass!”

“Er! N-No! Stahahap it!” Mitsuya grunted, immediately squirming beneath the touch. Draken was about to step in and pull Baji off when he took a look at Mitsuya’s face. While he was certainly annoyed, he wasn’t uncomfortable.

Maybe this wasn’t a bad idea afterall.

“Oo, stubborn are we? You know how the saying goes- Sewed lips will be snipped!” Baji grinned as he ran his hand towards his ribs, making the gray haired teen spasm with a snort. “Don’t make me get my scissors, Mitsuya.”

“Whahahahat kind of mohohoohorbid saahahahhaying is thahahahhat?” He grunted out, bubbling over with laughter. “Yohohhoohur insahahhahane!”

“And you're stubborn. Aye, Draken- help me get this ass to talk!” Baji nodded towards the taller man, narrowly avoiding a fist to the nose. “Aye, watch it!”

“Kihihihihiss my ahahhhahahss!” Mitsuya tried to swing again, but his wrist was caught easily by Draken. “Drahahahhaken hehehehehelp!”

“Sorry, Mits. First you talk. Until then.” He grabbed both wrists now, holding them high and exposing even more tickle spots. “Get him good, Baji.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice!”

“No no no no nohoohohohohohohohooho!” Mitsuya squealed out in mirth as both of Baji’s hands came into play, drilling into his ribs and squeezing along the space below them. “Ahahahahhahahabsoohohohohohluhuhuhuhutely nohohohohohohot! Stahhahhahap it! Bahahahhahahajihihihihihihi!” Mitsuya’s face was starting to tint pink, his smile wide and his eyes squeezed shut. It was much better than earlier. “Cohohohohohome ohohohohon, I’m shehehehehrious!”

“Hi serious, I’m Draken.” Draken snickered at his own joke, earning a giggly glare from the other. “Ready to talk?”

“Nehehehehhehehever!”

“Shame. Baji, try his feet. He’ll die.”

“Oo?” The long haired teen lit up at the info, flipping around with a gremlin like giggle. “His feeties are ticklish, are they?”

“NO! No thehehere nohohoht!” Mitsuya squirmed more, trying to break out. His eyes were light with laughter, the earlier pain fading away bit by bit. “Dohoohhn’t you dahhahare!”

Baji didn’t respond. Instead, he looked over his shoulder with a mischievous grin as he yanked off a shoe, running a finger along the socked sole.

The reaction was glorious. Mitsuya let out a shriek like cackle- his entire body jolting as if he was electrocuted. “Wahahhait!”

“I think we found a good spot!” Baji grinned, diving in and attacking relentlessly. Mitsuya swore as he flailed about, his laughter filling the air with each scratch and scribble. Draken gave up on holding his wrists, laughing just as hard as Mitsuya curled in on himself, holding his belly as tears of mirth dotted his eyes. “Ready to tell us?”

“YEHHEHEHEHS I’LL TEHEHEHELL YOU! NOW STAHHAHAHAP!”

“Baji, let him breathe.” Draken called out, stretching forward and wiggling two fingers under Baji’s arm, making him squawk and fall to the left.

“Uncool!” He stammered, flushed slightly.

“Deal with it.” Draken told him good naturedly, looking down at a now exhausted Mitsuya. “Feeling better?”

That earned him a halfhearted glare, but the other nodded, panting. “I’m…better.” He looked away, eyes clouding. “It’s been a bad day, that’s all.” When the other two waited, Mitsuya carried on. “This is gonna sound stupid as hell, but…do you two think I’m too weak for Toman?”

Draken gaped, Baji nearly choked. “HUH?” Both squawked in shock.

“See, I told you it was stupid.” Mitsuya sighed.

“No, no- don’t shut us out.” Draken recovered, making Mitsuya look at him. “It is stupid- the idea you’re too weak. Mitsuya, you’re one of the founders of Toman. The First Division Captain. How the hell does that make you weak?”

“Seriously; clearly whatever made you think otherwise never seen you fight.” Baji nodded in approval. “Shit, you nearly took my ass out, and I’m the best fighter there is.”

“Yeah yeah…I just-” Mitsuya looked like he was struggling to speak, debating on what to say. “Recently…someone was talking shit about me. About Toman. I guess they forgot I was in the sewing club, or they chose to say it there just so I’d hear it.” Baji tensed, ready to kill. Draken glared at him before nodding for Mitsuya to continue.

“They were saying a captain and a founder shouldn’t be such a…I don’t wanna say it, but you know what word it was.” Now it was Draken’s turn to look furious. “They said I’m only good at making dumb things like flowers and shit, and that it was a mistake for me to be in Toman.” The words gutted him, like they were being thrown his direction as he spoke. “I know I shouldn’t listen to it but…what if they're right? What if I am Toman’s mistake?”

“They’re not. You’re not Toman’s mistake.” Baji glared fiercely, a protective tone sharpening his voice. “Don’t ever say that.”

“But what if it’s true, Baji?” Mitsuya argued, angry now. “What if I am, and all this time I’m just holding back Mikey and his dream? Then what?”

“The only ones who can decide if you’re a mistake is Toman itself, and to think we’d ever call you that is an insult to both the gang and Mikey’s dream.” Draken sounded tired- even to himself. Still, he raised his chin as he met Mitsuya’s eye, putting every ounce of conviction in his voice. “You’re the farthest thing from it.”

“Hell yeah, and besides- where would we be without you?” Baji shook him lightly. “We can’t sew for shit; we’d look stupid at meetings and fights without you.”

“So I can sew.” Mitsuya grumbled. “Big deal-”

“And you’re a lot calmer than us when it comes to group disputes. So far I think you’re the only one who can handle a problem without resorting to his fists.” Draken nodded in agreement, mildly eyeing Baji. The other didn’t seem to notice.

“Guys-”

“And you’ve got an amazing taste in movies and shows.”

“You know how to make the best snacks we’ve ever tried.”

“You’re smart and help me with homework when Chifuyu’s busy.”

“And you give good advice on gifts and other matters of life.”

“You’re hot-”

“Guys, guys, enough.” Mitsuya was laughing now, wet with newly formed tears. “I get it, I do. I’m sorry for ever believing what that asshole said. I know Toman wouldn’t think I'm weak.” He shook his head as he wiped his face. “I just…I guess I needed to hear that. Thank you.”

Draken nodded, satisfied. Baji looked pleased. “Good.” The blonde smiled, the expression growing wicked. “Now- let’s get Baji.”

“Heh?” Baji blinked.

“Good idea.” Mitsuya grinned, sitting up the best he could.

“Wait- what are you two-” Baji scrambled back, starting to stand. “Oh hell no, stay away from me- I’LL FART ON YOU!” Baji booked it, running for safety while Mitsuya stayed on his trail, easily outrunning the other and taking him down.

Draken laughed as the area filled with Baji’s clown-like cackles. Later, he’d find the piece of shit who dared to hurt his friend and insult Toman.

That was later. For now, he’ll stick around and help these two out.

I hope this was good!

#tokyo revengers #baji keisuke #mitsuya takashi #ken ryuguji #draken #tickle #tickle fic #cw: swearing #I feel like this is the most swearing I've done on a fic #forgive me my fellow fluff monsters for I have sinned #Though admittedly I've probably written worse #maybe #I'm writing this all with barely an hour of sleep to my name #not the fic #the tags #okay bye y'all!

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elizabeth-mitchells · 1 year ago

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heartbreaking news. the character you hate the most is doing the worst things imaginable but the actor playing him is giving a great performance </3

#oliver jackson cohen owes me financial compensation for making me admire some peter quint scenes #i hate him but we gotta admit the dialogue went so hard when he said 'think of the one thing the only thing that would keep me from you'#and it was DEATH #oh and when he was telling miles about being the richest person in the world... again. acting #i swear i won't make another post about him so i'll put everything in the tags #i'm sorry but one of the hardest lines in the whole flanaverse is when he's like 'you killed me mom i hope you know that late at night that #you killed your own son'#and she's like 'honey i don't even know that you're dead' HELLOO????? DAMN????#one more before i shut up #idk why it hits so hard but rebecca literally saying 'when the water came into my lungs you just left' is SO GOOD. that sounds like a song #lyrics or something #okay i'm done #well no. when rebecca tries to save flora one last time i'll make another post bc that's also iconic #but no more peter i prommy

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dagwmeno · 8 months ago

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Sup folks, I'm gonna be taking a lil bit of a break

Not doing too bright mentally which results in my art not arting right and it's not going to art if I don't stop pushing myself to create more, plus finals are coming up and everything

Don't worry- it won't be a big break or anything, just taking some time off to wait for things to cool down so I can enjoyably draw again without looking at my art in a distorted point of view.. aand yeah that's basically it. Have a good rest of your day/night

#rei yaps #I wanted to add more funny tags but nothing funny comes to mind D:#hi guys heyy wassup I swear im fine (me when I lie)#okay yeah I'm done sorry

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library--fairy · 1 year ago

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Someday is now!

This is a sequel to a piece from 2022, Maybe Someday, which you can find here: HALCYON DAYS (tumblr.com)

#Bertram tag #Seishin tag #Styrnrael tag #meguart #waveknight #sladez #wow they're so CUTE and I love them!#Bertram was created by the talented and lovely Niko #Seishin was created by the talented and lovely Jon #Styrnrael was created by me and I love making things with Jon and Niko sooooooo muchhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#listen when i say that OCs can change your life... i am specifically talking about these three #when i say a ship can change your life i am SPECIFICALLY talking about these three #The OT3 OF ALL TIME #grlajsdklajdklasjdaskldja AAAAAHHHHH i love them so much #I love them I LOVE THEM i loveeee them #your honor they are in fucking LOVE #okay i'm done for now but stay tuned for more because it will happen again #It Will Happen Again #okay fine i'm going now but one more LKJSAKLDJSAKLDJASKLDAJSDKLASJDKLASJ CKSLASNSSLA okay i'm good i swear #ah AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #bye luigi

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widowshill · 10 months ago

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#silly tag #okay i'm done posting i swear #➤ roger collins & victoria winters. ┊ pain sometimes precedes pleasure，miss winters.

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rainbowangel110 · 2 years ago

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@bloodied-dagger hey so remeber when I said we were working on Audacity in my Digital Arts class...... Well I finished the movie trailer thing we were doing.........

#Oh god this is so fucking awkward aaaaaaaaaaaaaa #oh dear help #yeah I just wanted to show you cuz..... like...... You showed me your thing you worked on in Audacity so I was like ehh I'll send him mine!#also cuz I wanted to know what you thought........#god this is so cringe of me fuck!!!!#Argggggghhhhhh #c'mon Rainbow the post button is right there!#You got this!#no wait what are you-#NO DON'T DRAFT IT IDOIT #STOP ADDING TAGS #YOU'RE DRAGGING IT OUT-#GOD STOP IT #..... I thought your audacity thing was cool #I liked it.#okay I'm done adding unnecessary tags I swear-#just posting

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vitani-carnis · 6 months ago

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Can't play Cyberpunk to do Vitani's canon ending of PL (helping Songbird and feeling betrayed despite feeling it on the horizon). So just giving my thoughts on siding with Reed or whatev! TW: for suicide in this (this is such a doomed timeline, but it's not real, it's not real and it can't hurt me)

And firstly, the ending for Vitani devastated me. It's not canon, it's not real, no one can make it real!! (But for the V I did give this ending too, she'd be okay with it, just not my bbygrl). To have her basically become nothing again? To have the cycle of wanting to be stronger so that she wouldn't be so terrified of the city, the world in general, to so desperately not be at the bottom rung of people in NC... To only become it after losing not only Johnny, but her children (pets), her things, her seemingly friends, her ability to protect herself (which tbh the cyberware would've been something they could live with if they only had a few of the other things). There is nothing, except to become an NUSA dog. And despite everything, they can't go back on their ideals. In fact, the only way out, despite everyone telling them to move on, is to die; because Vitani is just incapable of moving on from such sudden changes (In their canon end, if they never found Johnny beyond the Blackwall, which they'd spend years on, it'd take even more years to stop that longing, and they'd never be the same, always haunted).

And speaking of??? The helicopter???? Omg, firstly, as soon as V realized that whatever this surgery was would wipe their boy, they would call off everything, for the record. But in the .000000001 percent chance, in the scarcest of timelines to exist where they did? Every time they'd feel so guilty for it, because they can't be the cause of another friend's death, this time willingly ignoring their requests about it too. This is preventable, and they aren't preventing it (in all options given, V asks 'could things have been different?' because they are sweetheart, dw). And him saying V's name? V saying they'd do anything for him (and they still can't do it, sadly, it's a tragedy that despite everything he wants for V, it's asking too much of them), how the doc knocks V out after reading an emotional spike? I know for a fact Vitani's last emotion felt, was fear, because they'd never see him again.

And speaking of another person V will never see again (because they killed her), Songbird! Before my game crashed and junk I did the option where you kill her, and I know, this is really depressing and suicide heavy (it's kinda built into Vitani's character to be so mournful and ready to die); but holy shit they would've been so enraged at Myers and Reed.

Before that though, I want to say, this is the second time V would be requesting someone's sui request essentially. First Joshua, whom they cried at Jill's grave (Jill, is a character essential to V's backstory, and was someone they viewed as a 'good person', and V is mourning about how she'd be disgusted with them, how they did change, and change for the worst), and now Songbird. They cried just a little more for Song too than Joshua, because it was like looking in a mirror.

Now obviously they are made that way narratively, same thing with Reed and Johnny (really love how that run is where they both acknowledge it basically, not technically in canon, but in Vitani's canon). But V saw themself in Songbird as a young adult just chilling in her house, hanging with friends (not that V knows what that's like), getting in too deep and paying the price. But no moment did they see themself than when So Mi was begging for death, how she said that she tried, and she was just too weak. And it reminded Vitani of when Jill first died, and all seemed hopeless and... They couldn't do it. They couldn't kill off the one human thing about them, survival instincts. And sometimes V wonders about it at this point narratively, how they wished they could've, things never would've gotten to this point.

And so they agree, because how could they not? In reality Songbird would never get the help promised from Myers and Reed, she'd be some prisoner, slowly losing herself every day. It's a fate worse than death to Vitani.

Which is why they're so pissed when Reed and Myers can so easily say they could've convinced Song otherwise, that she should've lived. Partially because she knows Myer's plans and Reed's loyalty, but also because they've had the luxury of never feeling so hopeless. At least, that's what Vitani thinks.

Also I HATED that fucking robot. This is just me talking. Cynosure? More like sayonara, never playing that section again. (It wasn't particularly scary tbh, I like horror elements, and don't get me wrong, it was cool, I just hated that it wasn't always clear on where to go so I'd get stuck and frustrated for a minute.)

Okay that's all! If you read all this, love you, bye!

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