#okay i understand that people have their different opinion but fuck why keep trying to make things in the laziest way

[prentissluvr]

tw long rant and swearing!

hey!! if you don't like something i wrote! shut the fuck up and move on!! thanks bye!! no hate is tolerated on this blog :)))

i don't care if you don't like the way i characterized someone in my story!! shut up and get a better hobby than hating on something someone has spent hours creating and pouring love into and accusing them of hating one of their favorite characters because you think that the fic they wrote FOR FUN and NOT FOR YOU is bad characterization/makes the character flawed in a way that you don't like because you have a poor understanding of what makes fanfiction fanfiction (and also humans human tbh lol). sure, they're maybe more flawed than in the actual show, but THATS THE FUCKING POINT OF FANFICTION!!! IS THAT ITS NOT A REAL PART OF THE SHOW!!! AND ITS WRITTEN!!! FOR FUNNNNN!!!!! AND NOT FUCKING FOR YOU AND YOUR FUCK ASS OPINIONS SPECIFICALLY!!!!!!!! and if you think it sucks, i don't care!! you are entitled to your opinion!!!! hate it so so so much but get the fuck over yourself if you think that telling me it's horrible and unrealistic and somehow creating a bad wrap FOR MY FAVORITE CHARACTER IN THIS SHOW is somehow a meaningful usage of your time or gonna get me to delete the fic or stop liking it or stop promoting my own hard work !!!! i'm proud of the things i write and nothing will ever change that. i hope you know what a shitty shitty shitty (and embarrassing) thing it is to do to leave a whole paragraph of hate under someone's hard work just because they interpret a fictional fucking character in a way that you don't like. genuinely genuinely get the fuck over yourself and find a better way to spend your time than caring more about fictional characters than real life people.

[crazyassluka]

that's why I fucking hate group assignment. If things doesn't make sense, why nobody's listen?

[forestmossling]

okay. oh my fucking god. oh god, okay.

this is INSANE. this is absolutely fucking crazy. what i’m about to recommend you is absolutely fucking mind-bogglingly pants-shittingly bonkers in its brilliance, so y’all better read closely.

it’s always the fics with the shortest, least descriptive summaries ever, the ones you absent-mindedly stashed in your “marked for later” and forgot about them, isn’t it?

anyway, this is a masterpiece. in every definition and understanding of the word. there are too many great points about what’s going on in this fic and why you absolutely have to read it, so forgive me if i’m gonna be pretty incomprehensible and incoherent rn, okay?

first of all, the way this fic just ties the whole of the st universe together, the way eddie munson doesn’t just spawn out of nowhere in the beginning of s4, but actually exists in hawkins all this time. the way he witnesses all the crazy going-ons in town from the sidelines, and still has his own opinions and thoughts on them, even if he didn’t actively take part in them. just, love to see it.

second of all, different “first” meeting. oh my god, but how i love thee. obviously it wasn’t really the first meeting here, but steve and eddie coming together before the original timeline is something i will never get enough of, and it was done brilliantly here. the way their first conscious interaction happens when steve comes to apologize for being a piece of shit, and the way the narrative, from eddie’s pov, never lets you downplay and just forget that steve was, in fact, a douchebag in high school, is also something i love to see. yes, he’s forgiven, but not because he wasn’t that bad in the first place, as a lot of fics love to make it out to be (which, i don’t blame them, that’s also fine), but because he actively works to become a better person. we see him, time and time again, actively holding himself back from sliding into the “king steve” persona, owning up to the shit he did and proving that he has changed, and it’s beautiful. and it’s also nice to see here, because eddie doesn’t even find out about all the upside down shenanigans in this fic, so for him, steve isn’t a better person now because he saw him in his heroic martyr era and was impressed. he’s better because he doesn’t just let these objectively heroic and admirable actions automatically absolve him of all his sins, but actively works to repair the damage he did before he committed them. which also happens in canon, i guess, but i really love how it was shown here.

third, eddie. characterization in general, but eddie’s in particular, because oh my fucking god. he’s absolutely insane in the most humane and captivating way possible. the way he has so much history that made him the way he is, the way we see this past overlap with the present and realize how it affects the decisions he makes, the interactions he has with other people. and the way his past was written in general, the way it flashes him out so deeply as a person is absolutely brilliant. and the way he sees the world around him, the way his perceptions of the moments we catch him in is so deep and full of volume, dimension. it’s like one second you’re with him, listening to the conversation he has with another person, and another - in a wave of sound and music he taps on his leg with his fingers, in the songs he hears reverberating through every feeling he has. and the author is so masterful with throwing you around from one plane of reality to another, the way eddie is in his brain, and it’s so much it’s almost overwhelming, but they catch you just on the edge in the last second and keep your brain from being torn apart from trying to comprehend the absolute insanity going on in eddie’s head.

it really felt like this fic was repeatedly slapping me across the face and all i could do was deliriously ask for more.

and, while we’re on the topic of characterization, literally every character and every interaction between them are so real and so fitting for who they are in this universe. the way even through eddie’s warped perspective of him, steve’s actions and views fall into a perfectly functioning justified mechanism for the reader, not a screw out of place. the way through simple, and, on the surface, absolutely mundane conversations about the horror and romance genres, about the characters in the book eddie’s writing (he is, btw, and it’s also brilliant), we see the whole of who these characters are, how they see the world and themselves in it, their deepest fears and desires. and even aside from steddie, a personal stand-out for me was jeff, because he has a whole life outside of eddie’s narrative, and still manages to contribute to the plot and give insights into eddie and himself while not being a cardboard cut-out, only existing for the benefit of pushing eddie’s story forward. and the rest of hellfire - past and present - while mostly serving the purpose of showing how precious steve’s attention and care for things they didn’t get about eddie is, are still their own people.

whatever the next number is, i’m losing count, - the language the fic is written in. it’s just so fucking clever. the dialogues are witty and captivating without stinking of made-up-ness, the metaphors are so deep and colorful and voluminous without being pretentious and over the top. the words of this fic are something you have to chew on before you swallow, let the author immerse you in the picture they’re painting without breezing from one predictable trope point to another (which, they aren’t really predictable and expected here, which is another huge pro) in the everlasting greed for cheap escapism, as i am prone to doing. and that’s another thing i’m really grateful to this author for - making me sit with the words i’m reading for a second, instead of just gorging on them in my haste to get to the end and start another story, frantic to keep my brain occupied.

also, this fic genuinely had me endlessly invested in the fate of the characters, scared shitless or elated for them. it yanked me right out of the usual safety of predictable plot tropes which usually makes fanfiction so attractive for me, but i really wasn’t complaining. on one of the most stressful and deciding scenes of the fic (no spoilers tho), i genuinely started crying. i felt eddie’s resignation and anguish so deeply and personally, i couldn’t hold back if i wanted to. and that’s another thing i’m extremely grateful for - the absolute rollercoaster of emotions i went through before i got the reward of the happy ending.

i would also like to say that i was floored with how period-typical homophobia and other social issues were presented in this work. obviously, i can’t really vouch for it being realistic or not, because i’m not american and wasn’t even alive during that time, but i can say that it did feel very very real. in a lot of other works that talk about these issues the homophobia and societal judgement seem like such nebulous, far-away concepts, that are obviously real and have a tangible impact on the characters, but it’s like their still escapable, still out of reach (which, again, is not a bad thing). but here i felt like the repercussions for being who you are were physically breathing down my neck, incapacitating me with horror. and, on that note, just, the author’s overall attention to detail and period-fitting pop-culture and other little things that painted such a larger picture of living in that time period, tying the fictional story so tightly down to it. it felt so grounded in reality, that i felt like a person could tell me their older relative had gone through this in the eighties and i would believe them. but, as i said, i’m obviously not an authority on that topic for aforementioned reasons.

and also, aside from the reader’s perspective on the work, as a person who tries to write myself, i realize that this is the level of writing skill i’m aspiring towards. this is what i want my works to feel like to a reader, and i’m really not there yet, but seeing works like these inspires me so much to grow.

also, i would’ve absolutely loved to see a little bit more of robin there, to find out how this change in the canon narrative would affect the events of the s4, to see how steddie’s relationship would develop and transform with the upside down thrown into the mix. and that’s definitely not a slight against the fic for not including this things, but more of a testament to how greatly invested the author made me in their version of the story and how hard it is for me to let go of it. this fic is perfectly complete without those things, but, once i got a taste, i couldn’t help but want more and more, even though this story definitely isn’t in any way lacking or in need of those to feel whole. but that’s mostly my selfish desires speaking, don’t mind me.

and, here, have a couple of snippets with no particular reasoning behind them, just because they made me giggle:

i’m getting real rambly and i’m genuinely afraid this whole post is absolutely unreadable with how frantic and jittery i am in trying to get this off my chest, but when i’m telling you i was buzzing with this word-vomit, almost frothing at the mouth with the need to express the absolute glorious hellscape this fic left me in after i finished it, i’m probably underselling it.

so, in conclusion, please read this fic. please please please read this fic. if not for my sake or the @fabelds-blog’s (who got criminally little recognition for this masterpiece), then for your own, because i can guarantee you that not one second of reading this work will feel like a waste of time or a disappointment. *me, pointing a gun at you with shaking hands while tears stream down my face* please, PLEASE read this fic, because it’s absolutely worth it.

so, yeah. i don’t think a number large enough to rate this work even exists, but my closest approximation is 999999836526272910018172654244536384847635526728190199986553781010018654463892010197654272458499900909261379/10, am recommending. and, obviously, it’s up to you if you’re going to actually read the fic, but if after this madman’s rant you still opted not to, i regret to inform you that that is, in fact, the wrong choice, and i’m strongly urging you to reconsider.

[ginnymoonbeam]

"How could anyone like--" buddy let me stop you right there. This world holds a vast diversity of opinions, tastes, and preferences. Some of them you will find completely incomprehensible. Some of them you will find disgusting. That's okay. You don't have to make sense of it and you don't have to approve of it. Unless you really do want to embark on a project of understanding, you can just say, with me and Danny Lavery, "Life is a rich tapestry."

If you do want to embark on a project of understanding, I recommend phrases like "can you tell me more about what appeals to you in that?" You don't have to mention that it's baffling or revolting to you. No one's going to feel comfortable sharing their thoughts when they already feel judged. If you really want to know, listen and try to understand. Maybe you still can't, or maybe you'll get to a place of "okay I can kind of see where this appeals to other people." Remember that they don't need your approval to keep liking the thing and you don't need their approval to keep extremely not liking it.

Whatever you do, please, please do not make up your own reasons why people like the thing. "People who are into this must be [something that is definitely inferior to me]." Have you asked? Have you actually listened? Then you don't fucking know. And you probably never will, because people won't feel able to openly express themselves around you.

And listen, sometimes your derogatory opinion might have truth in it, but "those people are different from me and I'm the better one" is a mental habit that nobody needs to be nurturing. It's dangerous. I would rather pull up every seedling of it from my heart than risk letting a wrong one take solid root. That doesn't mean I'm going to warmly embrace preferences that are alien, incomprehensible, or disgusting to me. Even understanding takes work, and it's not always worth it. That's why it's so valuable to just go "huh. Isn't human nature fascinatingly diverse" and move on.

[howlsofbloodhounds]

Well, dear mutual, I'm curious to what you think Ink's and Killer's dynamic would be? I always like hearing other peoples opinions on these things since there's things I may miss (even if they differ from my own)! Especially considering they fought once, I wonder how that would influence things...

Here's a kitty for your time! ❤️💕

Ooohh cute kitty!! (The petting motions r doing something nice for my brain.)

Also I mentioned briefly in asks about Error & Killer where I figured that Ink would find Killer hilarious and cool & thats the exact reason why he’s tryna convince error not to kill Killer.

So yeah I basically envision this thing where Error & Ink are basically lonely asf and also Error wants to piss off Nightmare so he snatches up Killer whenever the fuck he wants to.

And Killer’s like, “this is a fever dream. Might as well happen,” whenever Ink questions him about why he seems so okay with it. (And also Killer wants to spite NM too lmao.)

So like, I imagine that Error, Ink, and Killer just chill in the Anti-Void and this is basically what Killer’s enforced breaks look like. Error’s ranting and raving, either about his tv show or ink or nightmare or what have you. Ink’s sitting on the floor and drawing to his non existence heart’s content.

And Killer’s just staring off into the distance, dissociated as hell, petting his cats in an effort to stay grounded. Error was surprisingly nice enough to let him have the bean bag.

And I can see like a little moment where ink gets too excited, throws up in killer’s lap, and also makes a wide gesture too close to killer that has him instinctively lashing out and stabbing ink.

And killer freezes for a moment, wondering what’s about to happen—almost excited even—only for error to start bitching at ink for throwing up on his beanbag chair & ink’s is laughing it off while removing the knife from their arm.

Says something like he’s gonna keep it, only killer immediately reaches out and snatches his knife back, snapping that it’s his, not Ink’s. Keep your hands off his shit unless you wanna lose them.

And Ink just laughs, not bothered by it, comments that this is the most reaction they’ve gotten out of him in weeks. From what Ink knows of Killer, he was expecting him to be more talkative. To which Killer probably says something like, “find me on a work day then.”

And then what Ink said catches up to him, and suddenly Killer asks, “what do you know about me.”

And maybe that prompts a discussion about Players and Creators and AUs and the like. And Killer realizes that Ink knows more about him than he knows about himself. Such as what is and isn’t real.

Maybe Ink can offer him some clarity, somehow. Maybe through their drawings and art and the like.

As for the fact that they have fought before. Id imagine that killer would be more on edge at first, even if it may not seem that way. Watching Ink, observing him—trying to see if they have any hang ups about it. If Ink is going to be a problem for him. He’d love to hash it out. (Violently. With knives.)

But Killer doesn’t really wanna go back to Nightmare and he doubts Error is gonna take him back until he wants to, so instead Killer just doesn’t react in one way or another. Not wanting to express anything about himself until he knows what he’s dealing with.

And I’m sure ink knows something is up, but I doubt they’d place that much care into the fighting—especially if he already has forgotten them by this point. I mean, he’s chilling with Error. I doubt hed have a problem with any squabbles between themself and Killer.

I think they’d develop this chaotic friendship where they just kinda get eachother, you know. Ink understands Killer’s emotionlessness, Killer understands Ink’s memory issues. I’d highly doubt they’d have any issues with eachother that most tend to have with them—such as the typical interpretation of Ink being “too much” or “too hyper,” and I feel like Killer would just play into ink’s energy.

And I feel like Killer wouldn’t really feel any need to mask his apathy or sense of emotionlessness around ink, mostly because ink doesn’t really seem to mind when killer is quiet or unresponsive and not actively pretending to be someone he’s not—ink is willing to do whatever talking needed. And even if killer has a hard time paying attention or remembering what ink is talking about, he never tells ink to shut up either.

The two of them having meta awareness may also affect things.

Also, I’m pretty sure the both of them struggle with empathy—and killer at least is known for pushing boundaries, wanting to test and poke and prod to understand things—and yet very protective of his own “red lines”. So I’m sure this may show up as a rocky point in their relationship at some point, just like with error and killer, but I’m not quite sure how.

Ink may find themself often being stabbed, simply because Killer’s body often tends to react on instinct. So I’m sure they’ll eventually learn to keep some distance between themselves.

Ink may consider Killer a friend, Killer at most would probably say he finds Ink interesting. (They’re besties I swear. Killer just doesn’t understand friendship 😔 )

Anyway. More knowledgeable Ink fans are always free to comment on or expand/change wherever you think is needed.

( @toffeebrew ).

[euthymiya]

acting like you’re some woke person just because you advocate for middle aged women to be lifeless on the internet is not the flex you think it is 💀

You seem rather passionate about this so I’m going to indulge your ask to let you know three things:

Writing is a hobby that gets better with age, life experience, and practice. The best pieces of writing objectively come from older people and I’m not talking about fanfiction. I mean books and literature. I’m serious—go look at some of the most well known pieces of literature and then search up the ages of their authors during the years they were published. You’ll find the older writers tend to bust out bangers and this principle is very much applicable to fics too by default. Also writing fanfic is not “lifeless” lol. Some of you act like writing fanfic is juvenile compared to a novel and it’s rly not that different from writing an original piece of fiction. Sure, sometimes fanfic can be a little less on the conventional side in terms of technique. But genuinely the concept of putting characters into situations to create a plot is literally the main thing on both sides here and if you think writing fanfic is silly, it makes 0 sense to hold creative writing to some pedestal. Some fanfic writers demonstrate AMAZING original world building skills especially if they write au’s that diverge from canon and I think you are out of your mind if you think this hobby is not oftentimes an impressive one rather than “lifeless”

Being 30+ doesn’t automatically mean you must/do have a family and kids but I’ll still indulge that point and say you can easily balance a work and personal life while also having a hobby. I know middle aged men who dedicate more time to hobbies like hunting and fishing than middle aged women do with writing. One actually requires you to leave your house and family behind and the other you can do from the comfort of your home and tend to your family should you need to. I think the nature of your opinion only stems from a misogynistic view on aging women but that’s another can of worms

People don’t stop consuming and enjoying things as soon as they hit their third decade of living. If that’s your viewpoint on life, you’re going to set yourself up for a very miserable time once you hit 30. If you’re already 30+ then you’re a hypocrite by default by even being here in the first place lol. Also, life is literally so fucking silly okay? You wake up, work, pay taxes, and try to get by with what is usually an underpaid paycheck. Just fucking enjoy your life and let others enjoy theirs okay? If a 30 year old likes anime, then that is literally so god damn harmless I cannot stress enough how unimportant that is. There are 30 year olds out there doing heinous things in their free time and you choose to be bothered by someone who happens to produce an assortment of words from time to time. Please reevaluate your priorities

All things aside I cannot convince you that being 30+ and enjoying fandom and fanfic is not weird unless you really just realize that it’s not weird. Idk how old you are but I assume you’re younger than 30 because no 30 year old would be on fandom tumblr and then bash others for it. But regardless, just because you think something is weird doesn’t mean it’s bad. It is literally the most harmless thing I do not understand why you would care so much, just move on???? When you think someone dresses weird in real life do you go point it out to them??? No you think it to yourself and move tf on—and if you would voice it to them then you are literally a rude individual. Plain and simple. Rude and disrespectful and I would suggest you again, reevaluate. And it’s the same principle here. You just move on. If you seriously cannot be convinced that this is normal and just absolutely are dead set on believing that 30+ year olds who enjoy fandom are weird, fine. But just keep it to yourself it is the bare minimum you can do to be a decent person I cannot stress this enough to you

And one more thing. The people who are writing the mangas and animes you enjoy so much are middle aged. Older than 30/40. Grown people who might even have families and kids. Creativity has no age limit it is just a small joy that people indulge in at any age and it’s a very nice thing when they share it for others to enjoy, as well. Please just enjoy someone’s art and live a little. I promise you will be much happier and peaceful if you just read a good fic without worrying about the age of whoever produced it. I guarantee you a lot of the BEST fics you’ll read will come from the older writers they are literally doing you a favor if you happen to enjoy reading fanfic. Why bite the hand that feeds you?

[hyperfixingfr]

I'm putting this in the tags for the people who are sending me rude asks. Please do the mature thing and just don't send me nasty things. Thanks.

For the last time since I keep getting nasty fucking asks about it insulting me and calling me names; I am not tryna run none of you people outta this damn fandom and that was never my goal so quit playing victim and pretending I am. This is a fandom for everyone, obviously... Which is why I criticize when you guys treat it like it isn't. I was trying countless times yesterday to drop the conversation when the person arguing with me kept insisting that they had an issue with me talking about an aspect they didn't like, because they were arguing with me over an opinion I had that they didn't like, not over something that mattered. This aspect personally affected me, and many others in the server. This isn't an aspect I enjoy people pretending is cute or funny because it caused very, very real damage to things like body positivity. I don't try to fight with ANYONE here, ever. My entire goal in these situations is to educate when someone believes this is bad behavior by explaining why it's problematic to gloss over this aspect or glorify it when it was a very real issue. Please, ask yourself why you're beefing with a minor. I beg of you. This person had no intention to listen to me, OR the server owner, when we told them that they can have different opinions and simply ignore it if they don't like it. They also ignored the countless attempts at de-escalating the situation, proving they just wanted to argue about it.

I should also mention this person said some really nasty things that implied I was apart of cancel culture, or on the "everything is problematic" bandwagon which is kind of implying they think that criticizing bigotry is wrong, even when it's coming from the minority group it affected. My criticizing of a media is not disliking of a media, nor is it "cancel culture". I am not trying to CANCEL a show from the 2000s. I am merely pointing out its flaws. If you can't handle being apart of a morally flawed show's fandom, don't be apart of it. Not only that, but this person made passive aggressive comments such as "wow you ramble a lot" completely unnecessarily when I was speaking. Why was this needed? I know I do. Why are you trying to insinuate that my passion about the subject is weird? Either way, I wasn't trying to have this fight. They were. This person said a lot of insensitive things to me, claiming I pulled the autism card when I rebuttaled the "wow you ramble a lot" stuff, telling me they had an issue with me merely discussing a topic that was 100% allowed in the server (stated by the server owner, the channel was allowed for criticism), and was overall very passionate about putting me in the wrong for simply pointing out and discussing the flaws of a show because it was brought up. That's not okay and that's incredibly judgy. I dunno why this person can't admit they're wrong, but it's not hard to understand that my criticism is not unwarranted nor is it unwelcome. I did nothing wrong by speaking about it in a channel that directly said criticism was allowed.

Do not play victim when you started the argument AND fueled the argument when people tried to stop it. Simple as. I'm really hoping this person realizes they're wrong and apologizes appropriately like a mature adult, because this is ridiculous. This is such a stupid thing for them to have fought me over and no one's gonna be upset if they just... Did the right thing and apologize. This applies to ANY of you who mess up. If you mess up and realize you've done something you shouldn't have, just apologize man. Especially in a case like this where the person was arguing over "toma-to, tamato-e" or whatever. They didn't like my WARRENTED opinion and they got on my ass about it repeatedly, and I got nothing out of asking them why they held it because their response was basically "you don't like this media how I like it, so you can't possibly like it, get out". Hence, them asking why I'm in a server of fans if I... "Don't like the show". Simply because I criticized an aspect.

Please, if any of you don't believe me, the server is open for the public. You can go in there and see the conversation yourself. I am not hiding myself at all from this, and I'm glad to share evidence that I did just as I said and they did just as I said. This is a stupid fvking argument and any of you still dragging it on should be ashamed for thinking this is worth arguing about. People have opinions, leave it at that. What happened to respecting valid stances?

[good-beanswrites]

john x fuuta ?👉👈 or 090309

I love the dynamic between them all, thank you for the request! I went with an earlier meeting for them (well, one of the first times Fuuta's aware of speaking with John, at least). As much as I joke about Fuuta being starstruck by his strength in the attack, I tried to take a more serious route for the "something to rely on" vibe.

John’s eyes flicked over Fuuta, sprawled out on his bedding and looking up expectantly.

“Man, you look like shit.”

Fuuta scowled deeper. “I asked for the reason you’re here in the middle of the fucking night, not your opinion.”

“That is the reason I came.”

Somehow, amid all the other things he had to worry about given the horror of the past few days and exile that followed, Mikoto had still found the time to lose sleep over Fuuta’s condition. John had always liked the guy, but he wasn’t in the business of watching over people he didn’t truly care about. He didn’t know what Mikoto saw in him to cause such an overreaction.

Though, with the futon dragged to the bars of the cell, and bathing him in the dim light of the guard’s tower, it was becoming clear that Mikoto’s concern was indeed warranted. Fuuta appeared deathly. The fresh injuries had been bandaged, but there were stains where blood was beginning to seep through. His eye – the one that had survived the ordeal – was bloodshot and rimmed with dark bags. His hair was as tangled as the rumpled hoodie it poked out of.

Fuuta was still staring in anticipation. It took John a moment to understand why. 

“You recognize me.”

“No shit. Mikoto came in here like a fumbling idiot earlier today. He wanted to make sure I was okay or whatever. Like I’d be okay after what happened!” He paused, a clanging from someone else’s cell briefly distracting him. “But you… the way you carry yourself… it’s different.”

“Not that different. I’m here for the same reason.”

The plan was simple. Once Fuuta slept, Mikoto would relax, and everyone would be happy. If it turned out to be his injuries keeping him awake, John didn’t mind crushing Fuuta’s pride and explaining his weakness to the doctor to get more painkillers. If it was noisy neighbors, he’d teach one of those girls a lesson the following day. If the problem was just plain insomnia, well, John’s swinging arm was still completely functional...

“I just want to make sure you’re sleeping.”

“Don’t tell me you’re as disgustingly sentimental as him.”

John’s expression twitched. He didn’t appreciate the condescension. That was Mikoto’s most admirable trait, after all – offering help to others even when he was falling apart himself. He was so selfless, so self-sacrificial. It was no wonder John felt compelled to do the same for him. But Fuuta…

“Ugh, he’s always trying to be buddy-buddy with everyone around here, it makes me sick. Nice words don’t do shit. Look where his friendship with Kotoko got him, eh? That’s what these fools still don’t understand – you need to face these things head-on.”

“Oi, don’t be hard on me just for caring.” He didn’t say it as any sort of gentle encouragement; it was a command, and Fuuta understood. He snapped his attention away from where he’d been peering around the bars. “The world needs more people with that kindness. That optimistic view of life, of others, no matter what – it’s why I’ll do everything I can to save me.”

Silence stretched after the intense comment. Fuuta was looking away again, and John couldn’t read him. When he did speak, his voice came out more defeated than expected.

“Tch. Well. Not all of us have that luxury.”

“Of what?”

“Of you.”

His eyebrows raised.

Cheeks reddening, Fuuta hurried to add, “I mean someone to have your back like that. I wish I could be half as relaxed as that, but I can’t afford to let my guard down. I need to be strong myself, I don’t have anyone else to take care of my problems for me.”

It hit him suddenly, that everything came down to that. Relief washed over him, now that a clear, easy, (and nonviolent) solution had presented itself.

“What if you did? I could take over your little sentry duty for the night.”

“W-what do you –?”

He gestured to where Fuuta was laying. “No need to play dumb. You’ve been keeping an eye on everything, even the other side of the guard’s tower. The sounds from around cell eight have caught your attention. You’re positioned so you can see cell six, but haven’t moved all the way over, because cell ten has easiest access from the right.”

“The others would say it’s pointless, or that they’re handling it. I’m not buying it, though. I don’t care if they say it’s crazy of me to do.”

“I think…” John’s posture softened. “I think it’s very selfless of you.”

He was constantly amazed at Fuuta’s tendency to react to everything as if it were some world-shattering statement just told to him.

“So?” He prodded before Fuuta’s expression could grow any more wide-eyed. “How about it?”

 “I mean… they told me about the attacks… what you did…”

John set his jaw. No matter how many times it had happened in the past few days, it still stung to see how quickly people turned against him because of the fight. He thought they all had come to terms with each other’s capabilities for violence, but as usual, the moment he showed his true face, the world turned against him.

Of course Fuuta could never relax knowing such a violent and unpredictable person was sitting right beside him through the night. It was a miracle he hadn’t panicked immediately at the sight of yet another cold, towering figure appearing at his door in the middle of the night.

John stretched his right arm across his chest. It looked like his original solution still stood. Fuuta said problems should be faced head-on. Surely he’d understand this was for his own good.

“…Yeah, okay.” Fuuta gave a decisive nod. He beckoned with a jerk of his head. “I trust you.”

“I –” John blinked. “What?”

“You understand me. You understand what it takes to be in a place like this.” His gaze flit away momentarily. “You’re incredibly strong. You’re prepared, and have good instincts, and your confidence is –" Noticing how intently John was listening, he interrupted himself to bark, “but don’t think I couldn’t handle this on my own! It’s only because you offered, and it’s a smart move. I’ll just sleep for a bit, we can take shifts. Wake me in three hours, okay?”

“Fine by me.” A little lying was definitely better than what else he’d had in mind.

Fuuta moved his futon over a few feet so John could settle into his carefully chosen spot on the ground. Everything was all set to begin keeping watch, until a new sound rose up to drown out the other noises in the panopticon – soft snoring from beside him.

He glanced over in disbelief at the instantaneous security Fuuta had sunk into. All the tension had melted away from his face and shoulders. He lay completely at peace.

John had achieved his goal. He should be celebrating. Instead, he couldn’t help heaving a heavy sigh.

How did he end up with two self-destructive idiots to watch over?

[positivelybeastly]

Goats Gremlin Gibber-Jabber part 2:

Oh we’re so back baby

Ahem ahem. First thing on the itinerary: Welcome back! Missed youuuu <3

Second thing:

HANK PUT EMMA BACK TOGETHER WHEN SHE WAS SHATTERED????

Hi in this session of my gibberish thoughts, my friend and I with our blogs made hank and Emma a thing, and there was something about them that made us so ill for them together. Granted my hank isn’t exclusive, but something with Emma clicked. And then. AND THEN

The fucking shattering of Emma, Hank discovering it after he had planned to try and cheer her up?

And then him DEDICATING himself to put her back together. And like like he got so far???

HE GOT CRAZY FAR BEFORE JEAN INTERVENED WITH THE PHEONIX.

I’ve been lost in the sauce from that moment on.

The fact that when someone said “Oh nobody liked her.” So everyone was a suspect, and he went “I liked her.” And then the fact he was convinced she couldn’t actually be dead, and then spent that time putting her back together even when the pieces were in the hundreds of THOUSANDS.

I’ve become ill from this (/pos) and I wanna hear your take on this section cause I just aaaagh.

Sincerely,

that weird fucking goat that keeps popping up and biting people.

Adding your addendum here so I can answer all in one go. :)

So, like . . . okay.

Hank and Emma's friendship is really special to me, and it all ties back to the way that Grant Morrison conceptualised Hank, when they came on to write New X-Men. It's worth noting that neither Hank, or Emma, were actually meant to be on the team when Morrison first pitched their story, they were originally going to be Colossus and Moira MacTaggert, but both had recently died. This is why Emma gets her diamond form secondary mutation - she's acting as the bruiser of the team in absence of Colossus.

So, how does Grant Morrison conceptualise Hank?

No dark secrets. Nothing to hide. The sweetest guy. The best heart.

These are the architects of modern X-Men, by the way. Morrison and Hickman. This is how they see Hank McCoy, and though they may have many flaws in their writing styles and their stories may fumble certain things, I think that they have an opinion worth noting. Their effect on modern X-Men is undeniable.

So, Emma and Hank meet, and they already have chemistry. They are both incredibly sharp, incredibly brilliant, incredibly witty, incredibly cultured individuals, and though they may (at this time) have very different moral compasses, it's very clear that there's a spark of friendship already, especially when you compare Hank's immediate sympathy to how Jean treats her literally a page later.

Something that's underrated about Morrison's Jean is that she's kind of not very nice a lot of the time, but you understand why. She's going through some shit in this series, and she has a very, very, very valid reason to hate Emma after Dark Phoenix, so her trying to reach out is what she thinks she should do, but calling her a bitch is what she wants to do, really - and Emma doesn't give a fuck. Or at the very least, she's very good at making it look like she doesn't give a fuck.

This is another aspect of why I think Hank and Emma have such good chemistry: they are both masters of control and appearance. They both spend so, so, so much time cultivating a specific image so that they can't be hurt - Hank obfuscates and hides behind big words, big concepts, big gestures, while Emma snarks and affects cool, sniping at anyone who might dare get close.

Like recognises like. I almost think it's a sort of game for them, to perform and poke at one another, knowing that they each know each other's secrets, but with an unspoken agreement that they won't go too far.

Emma jabs and pokes and prods, and Hank shuts her down in three sentences. If there were any malice or anger in this interaction, it wouldn't stop the way it does. There's no lingering animosity between them, there's no heat. It's two theatrical bitches in superhero clothes pretending that their personal lives aren't a mess by being extra bitchy at one another, and I think that they love that.

It's also worth noting that Hank, at this stage, is still an extremely moral presence, an unquestionable good guy (Threnody revisionism notwithstanding, don't at me, I've heard it before), and Emma is very much not. She's still the woman who was part of the Hellfire Club, who worked against the X-Men, who was part of Genosha, Magneto's regime - but Hank doesn't browbeat her with it. It only ever comes up when he's convinced that she's turned on them.

A moment of panic, but Emma doesn't take him to task for it - if anything, I like to think she might have actually been a bit grateful, because it made her plan seem all the more authentic, to have someone screaming that she can't do this. He then immediately apologises, and compliments her. It doesn't come up again. He judges her by her current actions, not by her past, and this is something that's very consistent with Hank, if you look at the wider tapestry of his life, because who else does he judge by his current actions and not his past?

Oh yeah. Hank forgives. Hank understands.

And I always find it interesting how he takes Scott and Emma's affair. He doesn't criticise Emma for it, but he does take Scott to task. Why? Well, it could be Morrison's take on who's responsible for the affair bleeding through, but I think it's more that Hank knows that Emma is still working on herself, still improving her behaviour, still in the process of becoming better, and he's willing to give her the space to do that, but Scott?

Scott, I think Hank believes has less of an excuse. But again, he doesn't make a thing of it until it comes to a boiling point. He warns Scott, and Scott doesn't listen. And when it's all said and done, Hank makes it clear that Scott and Emma's lives may be their own, but he has his own feelings on it, and he's capable of holding multiple emotional viewpoints at once.

Like, this is a lot of leeway and a lot of grace that Hank is affording Emma here, considering she was just as guilty of initiating the affair as Scott was, if not more so - but again. He expects better of Scott. He knows Scott knows right from wrong, and where his obligations lie, and he expects him to be faithful to his wife. Hank knows Emma is flirting, being very sexually open, but he knows that that is partly affectation, partly bait, partly exploration, and partly a fuck you aimed at Jean, who she just plain doesn't like. Harping on at her about it will not make her stop, and will only drive her not to trust Hank. And it becomes increasingly clear, as the series goes on, that Emma does trust and value Hank, quite a lot, actually.

Now, it's not like Emma needs an excuse to be cruel and to make a scene, but that's not really what this is, is it? Look at the order in which she addresses the journalist. She's offended - "I beg your pardon!" - but what at? "This man is a world-renowned scientist!"

She doesn't take offence to the idea that people hate mutants because trouble follows them where they go. She takes offence to her being insulting to Hank specifically. She elevates Hank, and degrades her opponent. This is not something Emma does often, she usually just skips to the degradation! Hank doesn't even expect it! Look at the little lines around his head in the panel with Emma blown up large in the psychic landscape! He was absolutely going to let that comment go by, and not make a thing of it, and Emma chose to make the moment about standing up for him, and he did not expect it.

But he values it, nonetheless. And he puts his paw on her, and thanks her.

Reminder, this is how she reacted to another man putting his hands on her just a few issues before.

Now, granted, we don't see where Logan's hand is, but the man's generally a gentleman, despite his reputation, so I think she just doesn't like to be touched . . . generally. But she doesn't mind it when Hank touches her, and thanks her for standing up for him. Something which she does not do for many people. Reminder, this is how she reacts to Jean having a straight up psychic fit in front of her.

Like, there's a degree to which this is bravado and humour, because Emma is tending to Jean here, but I guarantee you that this is not how she would have acted if Hank had been the one to fall in distress.

And going back to the panels where Logan is helping her up - I don't know if it's just me, but there's something very purposeful in the fact that Emma and Hank are both on the right hand side of the page, with Emma engaging her diamond form so that she doesn't have to feel, denying her own compassion, while Hank stands in shadow, looking mournful, defeated, quietly furious, unable to do anything but feel his compassion.

Perhaps that's something that Emma admires in Hank. The fact that he has no dark secrets, that he does, in at least some ways, wear his heart on his sleeve; that he has no choice but to feel. He is a good man. And it's easy to forget, in a world where cynical media and cynical people surround us, but there is something charismatic and likeable and warm about good people. Even if you might consider them foolish, people who fail to be good often envy those who try, even though they might face insurmountable odds.

Hank's refusal to accept that the world has to be a place of cruelty and disbelief and skepticism and fear has a way of rankling the cynics around him. It's one of my favourite things about him.

It has a way of paying off.

How often does Emma Frost listen to someone again . . ?

And then . . . yeah. We come to the assembly.

"Fuck you, I liked her."

She listened. She laughed. She spoke Byron back to him. Do you ever think about just how often Hank gets that? Fucking never, I bet!! It must just be so refreshing to quote, and for the other person to know.

There is a pleasure in the pathless woods, There is a rapture on the lonely shore, There is society where none intrudes, By the deep Sea, and music in its roar: I love not Man the less, but Nature more, From these our interviews, in which I steal From all I may be, or have been before, To mingle with the Universe, and feel What I can ne’er express, yet cannot all conceal.

Of course it's a romantic poet. Of course it's Byron.

And then, the assembly . . . ouuuuuuaghhh . . .

Like, people love for their characters to have feats, right? People love that Storm was the Regent of Arakko, and faced down the Horsemen. People love that Cyclops put the Void in a little box in his mind and told it no. People love that Jean chased down Enigma all the way through space and time and destroyed him. People love it when all the things that epitomise a character come together in a moment that speaks to the truth of them - their strength, their control, their refusal to give up. It's not just about power, it's about what that moment says about their personality, right?

What's Hank's?

It's putting together a 11,100,277 piece puzzle of a human body. Not with textbooks and screens around him, but by memory - and why? He says it's because he always loved jigsaw puzzles as a child, but that's not the real reason, is it? It's because it's important to him that she be complete, that she be afforded respect. It's important to him that someone showed that they cared.

It's because he thinks that there's a chance.

It's hope. It's sheer, bloody minded hope. 11 million pieces. It's insane. And yet. He did it, and it worked, and she was whole again.

Roses and wine and a good book and a baritone rendition of Gluck's Orpheus and Eurydice . . . oh, Hank. He even calls himself la bete, the Beast - a codename we know he doesn't really care for all that much, especially in light of his recent mutation - just so that he can affect playfulness and brightness and infectious good mood.

He really cared for her. And she really cared for him.

I seriously miss this dynamic. It was really very beautiful.

And thank you for the welcome back! It's good to be back!

[katerinaaqu]

Many have commented when it comes to adaptations/retellings "don't watch it, don't read it, if don't like it ,don't engage".

The point they don't realise is that, these issues continue happening, so commenting on that isn't an issue, but apparently for them is. Like they are saying "keep your mouth shut".

Why? 🤔 What's so bothering with saying facts that these adaptations simply are mocking Greek culture?

Nolan's version had sparked a debate again and unfortunately won't be the last to make such.

And the problem is that these versions gain so much popularity which makes one sad to think how amazing would it be instead of these twisted up versions or oversimplified versions (like Epic the Musical or PJO or Miller's books) were not as popular and instead we have had projects like "L'Odissea" or "Iphigenia" "Trojan Women" etc be the top of the top at fans preferences how much better would people understand mythology!

But yes I find this notion of "if you don't like it don't watch it" interesting because I could answer the same to many people who say that "if you don't like my critique don't read it" or "if you don't like my comment don't read it and delete it from your page". Why do you feel the need to point the obvious to me? Another interesting thing that I get all the time is "why don't you see them as different like I do to like them both?" Like for starters me seeing them as different is exactly my problem. I find the notion of something being "different" especially to THAT degree when they claim to adapt or retell material is exactly my problem and second please show me the part of moral code where it says that I have the moral obligation to like them all?

I love Nolan's work before but even him I feel they are up for disaster. Many times over we have the same talk. Ironically people are trying to give FANTASY books the attention they deserve (successfully or not is another story) by making trilogies or tetralogies etc. They made a majestic production for Lord of the Rings with three movies spanning over 3 hours each in order to adapt the book properly for example but when it comes to epics like Odyssey they just go like "fuck it we shall squeeze everything in a movie" with the rare exceptions of some writers and even then the budget wouldn't allow them to unravel everything they needed to unravel. Makes me feel that if they gave the same attention to the mythological movies as they do to fan material we would have great things going on but nope. They just refuse to do it.

And yes they make monstrous changes to the material or the story or the cast and then somehow people who point the harm this has done for decades out are somehow the bitter bad guys who should shut it and turn the other way like okay dude then you too shut it and turn the other way when I express my opinion. I find it tiring how sometimes people play the self-righteous card but suddenly YOUR opinion doesn't matter because YOU have no right to speak and your problem is as easily solvable by "looking the other way". And it is the same type of people that for OTHER projects would be screaming first like that "ENOUGH WITH LOOKING THE OTHER WAY! WE MUST DO SOMETHING AND FINALLY DO THIS RIGHT!"

Apparently Greek mythology is not entitled of the same courtesy. Sweet irony how it seems that the mythology material was greatly adapted till the 60s or 70s (of course not without their problems but the projects were great)

[notmorbid]

margo's got money troubles.

dialogue prompts from margo's got money troubles by rufi thorpe.

all things that are genuinely interesting aren't quite real.

i believed in santa until i was twelve. i'm cheesy.

the way you look at something changes what you see.

just say what you mean. don't pussyfoot around.

you just wander around in your underwear?

why are you going through my desk?

does your wife know you do this?

i've never told anyone this.

you shouldn't be telling me you love me.

what are you, catholic?

'want' and 'should' are two very separate things.

since when do you care about being a good person?

there's things you won't understand until you're older.

i'm really glad i met you.

do you think things happen for a reason?

i think you're just scared to admit you want to wreck your life.

sometimes ruining your life is the only thing you want.

what if i'm making a big mistake?

don't make the same mistake that i made.

nothing cheers up aging alcoholics like a baby.

if ___ proposed, would you say yes?

if you don't want the same result over and over, you have to do something different.

this meal is my treat. order whatever you'd like.

feel free to disagree. i'd like to get your opinion.

we are all fallen creatures. the real test is what we do when those chickens come home to roost.

i always want to see you.

i'm not exactly a kid anymore.

have you heard of onlyfans?

in some circles, i am sorta famous.

i don't believe in getting sick.

where are elmo's parents?

come cuddle me.

we're just pretending words have meaning, at this point.

are you a heel, or a face? the bad guy, or the good guy?

i want ____ so much that it frightens me.

you are such a puzzling mix of traits.

i'll require you to answer one question for every question i answer from you.

is ____ your actual name?

where does the character end and the self begin?

the line between 'real' and 'not real' gets a little fractal.

you're an icon. you are literally iconic.

what's the best sandwich you've ever had?

you look like a movie star.

it feels like we're in a dream.

i'm afraid that being loved is the only way to be safe.

you know a lot more about ____ than i realized.

this is so bad. i'm so scared.

everything is going to be alright. i promise you.

you don't even love me anymore.

i am rich in all the things that count.

do bad people ever know that they are bad?

what if inside, i'm secretly rotten?

are you okay? how did you get out here?

there's no such thing as 'too weird'.

tell me. you don't have to tell ____. just tell me.

you're gonna be so famous.

i think i'm getting confused about what's real and what's not.

i don't want to step back. i want to keep going.

you smell the same.

i don't know why i'm crying. i'm not sad.

i feel so far away from who i was.

ice cream is in order. large quantities.

i will never forgive you. i never will.

you want a donut?

you can make sense without making meaning.

i'm not even mad. i just feel like an idiot.

don't try to make me feel better. it makes it worse.

no human being is trash. even jesus said that.

the important thing is to control the narrative.

everyone loves to put a bitch back in her place.

you delight me.

every single dollar is power.

aren't we all always putting on an act?

i feel like i know you better than i know anyone in the world.

i thought if i did the right thing and was a good person, it would all turn out okay.

my landlord doesn't care if i'm a good person, just if i can pay.

when you're lost in a deep, dark forest, the thing to do isn't to get scared of the trees. you have to find your way out again.

i want to get really into making bread. like, aggressively into it.

you should get to be young. i remember that feeling.

i feel like you're picking me up for a school dance.

we can't start making out before dinner.

what the fuck is 'goodreads'?

nothing's wrong. i'm just, like, plotting how i'm gonna put the moves on you.

everyone needs a break, sooner or later.

this is going to be one of those things i regret.

good. get angry at me. hate me.

where would you go?

i'm going to try to be someone you can be proud of.

why doesn't ___ love me?

what did i do that this is all the love i get?

sometimes understanding isn't enough.

feelings change. don't i have the right to my own emotional journey?

the things we make up in our heads, the assumptions we make, wind up being much worse than what's going on.

it's amazing what you don't find, if you aren't looking for it.

when you're going to do something stupidly brave, it helps to have less time to think about it.

you must think i'm so weird.

you probably think of yourself as one of the good guys.

you're still such a mystery to me.

it's so good to see your face.

so you don't want to date me?

i just kept thinking we weren't done.

[qveenpoppy]

okay let's go episode 2:

wolf somehow doesn't know what pokemon or game of thrones is (i know his pop culture knowledge is near nonexistent, but even i've at least heard of both franchises, despite never engaging in them)

there's little references to the hospital being understaffed (like dr. landon apparently performed a surgery herself) and underfunded, but i feel like the show's been mostly glossing over it (unless it's just something that's easy to miss, given that it's yet to play a major role in an episode plot)

wolf lowkey has a bratty side, given how he talks to his mom this episode

wolf ignoring nichols got me giggling and kicking my feet

wolf also can't do sports analogies to save his life. now is that bc he's gay or a nerd? /j

wolf's lil striped sweater is so cute. if i could make a gifset dedicated to that look, i would.

"oliver, try not to get too attached. we both know it hasn't served you well in the past." hmm (i know they tie this line to him empathizing with a frog in hs, but i feel like it might also refer to a patient he treated in the past)

the way they depict jessie's feelings of disembodiment are incredibly well done. the one shot in particular of her simultaneously falling and rising is really cool. (this show in general makes some cool, unique directing choices. i know i talk about emmys deserved for the acting, but this show deserves some love for its directing too.)

wolf also doesn't understand dana's sixth sense reference

"dr. wolf is the chief's son?" i love you, token himbo van (he is so golden retriever-coded)

"you keep blowing past me... on three separate occasions." "why are you counting?" lmaooooooo get him, wolf

(something something nichols fell first but wolf fell harder)

never realized how prominent the height difference is between them when they're standing in front of jessie's brain scans (i can't believe nichols makes 6'1 wolf look tiny)

it's implied that wolf didn't really need nichols to look at the scans with him. he said he wanted a second opinion, but also admitted he was scared for jessie. could he have wanted nichols there for... emotional support?

someone made a post the other day about what ericka's neuro/psycho issue might be. idk if it counts, but i wanna say she might suffer from some sort of issues with perfectionism? or maybe people-pleasing? given how she said she spent all her time in college studying and working rather than partying and socializing (but that's also pretty typical for those of us more studious folks, i say as someone who went to community college and therefore did nearly nothing in terms of social things on campus...)

actually maybe i was wrong about the underfunding thing being irrelevant, since it comes up for jessie, who may have had to be sent to a long-term care facility so, as wolf says, the hospital can "free up a bed" (and i know a similar thing was said about roman once, i forget in what episode - 4, maybe 5? before he showed any real signs of awareness)

the "freakishly large hands" exchange is so incredibly flirty, i can't take it. i dare say the wolfnichols dynamic did a complete 180 from the pilot to episode 2. like the pilot gives enemies to lovers, but episode 2 (and beyond) just gives... lovers. (or like flirty coworkers who both slowly (given how much time it takes for them to act) and quickly (in terms of episode count) develop a bond and fall hard for each other.)

underrated parts of the scene: wolf's little smirk when he jokingly addresses nichols without looking at him, and nichols wringing his hands when asking what his defining feature is (like he's a nervous little boy talking to his crush)

did i rewind and rewatch that scene 3 times in a row? yes, yes i did

the end scene with muriel & carol really makes it seem like wolf did some fucked up things in his past, which, as i discussed with someone the other day, i once thought meant he was responsible for his dad's death, but that doesn't seem to be the case anymore. at least, he's not directly responsible, though he probably still harbors some guilt about the whole situation. still, wonder when the implications of that scene come back into play. (could that be one of the "surprises" showrunner grassi referred to when he talked about what was in store for wolf & nichols?)

[batsylikeme]

so here’s my silly little rant/opinions on the new doctor who season

if what i say pisses you off just keep scrolling mary i don’t have the energy to deal with negativity rn

so firstly i don't wanna talk abt how the new doctor regenerated okay that made absolutely no sense to me. idk why even 10 came back as well like ig donna's story was left "untold" ….but so is every other companion’s?

and idk how they split??? i really don't understand how they can do that but it’s aliens so whatever.

im also not gonna go into the christmas episode or the baby episode i...dont wanna relive that.

so!! i love the doctor i think he’s so fun and hip and his style is amazing.

personally i think the fact that he doesn’t have a set outfit is bc he’s trying to figure out who he is, which is always so exciting as the viewer going on this journey with him.

and ruby is awesome as hell!! low key fuck you writers for not making her a lesbian ( i mean she has the eyebrow slit and everything you should be ashamed).

also cool background story i love that she's interesting and a mystery. plus when villains are like "who...are you" that's always so dope.

i think that the "family" of the different "gods" is really cheesy but GOD i loved jinx they did so fucking amazing their performance was everything. i want them to act in every show ever honestly.

with that being said.. that episode specifically wasn’t my favorite, it was a cool concept but idgaf abt the beetles so 😭

and in that episode when the doctor ran away and hid?? that was new to the doctor that we know and i was like “yeah let’s go we’re gonna watch his character develop!”

so you would think it would build up to some sort of solution bc the doctor is tryna figure out who he is and that's gnarly love it

….then they DIDNT?

they didn't do anything with that?!?? at least that i was able to notice?

okay but after the jinx episode the rest of the episodes were actually fierce!

the landmine one had some really cool dialogue moments especially with the bickering like love i'm obsessed. ruby was also really cool and i love how much she cares about the doctor and how she wasn’t scared. i think that says a lot about her character. not to mention i think having her so in awe of the planets was a really good choice bc that reaction is so human and i love it.

buttttt the other characters were like mad infuriating which may have been the point? and throughout the episode it was so tense and nerve racking but the end was so anticlimactic. i loved the idea, and i loved that the dad was able to save the day (even tho i wanted the doctor to save the day but whatever) but i wanted MORE. i wanted the doctor and ruby to go into town, or to see the government and face them and call them out on the war! the fact that it was in one area the entire episode was just not it, me no likey.

the ruby centered episode was AWESOME.

that one was so unsettling (in a good way) and it was sooooo cool to see her like basically save the world and then she dies but BOOM they're back when the episode first started. i loved it, so peak doctor who timey wimey stuff

even tho i'm still a little confused as to if the lady was ruby? but whatever i still really enjoyed it i honestly have no cons on this episode it displayed what kind of person she is perfectly.

next, the bridgerton episode was fun! love the gayness they even kissed and they flirted it was so fierce. and ugh ruby’s character just keeps getting better and better honestly shes so fun and it’s so easy to root for her.

…but… the dialogue wasn’t good in this episode….at all. especially having the aliens say the word ‘cosplay’ took me out of the fantasy completely

also side note but not really-

what always impressed me growing up watching doctor who was that even back in 2005 the alien makeup was always so FIERCE like cunty boots down house houston bc it's makeup centric!

it also allows talented people to show off their skills and add really personal features to the actors who are playing the aliens. but nowadays they rely on the cgi so much that it just doesn’t seem believable and honestly it doesn't look good anymore. like mentioned before with makeup you can use the actor’s features to your advantage which creates the perfect illusion.

makeup + a LITTLE bit of cgi is the way to go and i don't get a fuck if it's more expensive ur a fucking successful ass company you have the money now USE IT

the episode itself was good until the very end when rouge sacrificed himself and then the doctor was like "i move on that's what happens" like bruh

by having him say that, it honestly makes you think that all of the losses the doctor has endured is just moments of his past, and that he’s moved on

like no i want the doctor to be angry, to be motivated!!

and that's what i think this doctor lacked.

there was no motivation or drive for him, which is so fucking stupid bc the actor is amazing.

the episode that ended with the doctor experiencing racism for the first time…you can tell that the actor put his whole heart and soul into his performance (especially the scream). he was unleashing a whole new part of his doctor and it was absolutely perfect.

so why not use that to give the doctor more motivation, more anger? seeing the doctor not being able to move on, to be selfish at times bc that makes him feel human. which would make sense BC!! he has spent so much times with humans and earth is important to him.

moving on; one of the biggest things that made this season an issue was that they cried every. single. episode.

when you only get something every once and a while it makes that thing so much more precious. the doctor only cries like once a season, and when he does it's like actually thrilling bc you don't get that side of him a lot.

and usually it's with a lot of anger bc the doctor is angry!! we've been through how many seasons of the doctor suffering?? i mean the man literally blew up his own planet. he's been thru the ringer.

there are so many episodes of the doctor not having the best morals, of him letting the villain die bc of his own selfish intentions. he's not supposed to be a hero, and i think that’s also what makes the doctor so compelling.

another con was the dialogue. one of my biggest tv / movie turn offs is when they say what they’re doing. and not in the super impressive like monologue way but in the simple way of being like "i'm cooking" like mary yeah i see you doing that??

and this season used that a lot. and again NOT in the cool monologue saving the day way speaking of that, no cool monologues? none? nada?

the best part of doctor who is when the doctor goes against all odds and saves the day with that sexy smirk and has the coolest monologue with the kick ass music in the back and during it gives you goosebumps! it also allowed the actor to put forth a lot of emotion into their performance and allowed them to build who their doctor is.

despite all of that, i did really enjoy the episode with ruby growing old and the racism episode. the fact that they didn’t have to say it was perfect and i think was a really good choice bc it was a surprise factor, especially with the doctor’s reaction. when they brought in a random character to save the day and him be so unlike the rest of his race and then kill him is always gonna be classic trope, bc my sister and i were GAGGED. perfect, absolutely perfect.

however. the season finale can go fuck itself.

UNIT is so cheesy now, and it feels so unreal and silly which i think is stupid. they’ve had this facility for so long so the fact that it is unserious now is lame. it feels really fake whenever they're trying to be serious and sciency, which is not the way to go when ur a literal army based facility.

anyways back to the season finale-yeah it was cool to have a throwback especially with the fact it was “the one who waits” that was gnarly! however,,, when sutukh whatever his name was literally kills the entire universe…it didn't feel like it??? it happened so quickly it didn't have that shock value it was supposed to and i was actually confused.

i did love the throwback to the ruby episode so it made you feel like it was tying that together which is nice!! give them some recognition yay!!

now let’s talk abt the whole plot with Ruby’s birth mother.

the build up of her real mother i mean it's been every episode when they mentioned it. in the first part where they were in the time window, that was giving me the creeps! i loved that it was scary and confusing and i couldn’t wait to figure it out!

so when the birth mother of ruby, the woman that even the god of death was infatuated with, the woman that the doctor couldn't figure out, the woman that was stuck in some sort of time thingy…………..is just a regular woman? its just some teenager who got knocked up and gave away her kid? that's it?

i've been getting edged this entire fucking season just for this?

if you enjoyed that it was a regular person i get it! it’s a throwback to whenever the doctor made his speech about how no one is ever just unimportant, which i do love and appreciate.

the whole reason she's important is bc the unknown is the most powerful thing which honestly i agree. my biggest fears are always the unknown. so yes absolutely i get it….but….are you...are you kidding me?

and then ruby leaves? ruby is done traveling with the doctor? i just. ugh.

there was so much potential and i’m just so empty now.

yes it had its cool moments, but im honestly so heartbroken and disappointed with how it turned out like, some bitch on tumblr could have written this season better than this.

i really really really hope the next season is better, at this point it’s just the writing. so get it together writers!! Ncuti is a phenomenal actor he is so fun and his range is so raw and captivating. not to mention Ruby! i’m really sad she’s leaving so soon, she was really fun and complimented the doctor well.

i can’t wait to see what’s next, and honestly no matter what i’m gonna watch doctor who bc it’s so special to me <3

[ppppxseur]

EPIC THE MUSICAL VENGEANCE SAGA SPOILERS!!

spoilers under the cut! do not proceed if you havent listened to the vengeance saga yet!!

also if you dont want to read my take about calypso, this may not be the review for you because thats 95% of what i talk about because I Have Opinnions. (spoiler alert, im a sympathizer)

600 strike

OKAY MY RATINGS FOR THE VENGEANCE SAGA GOES AS FOLLOWS

charybdis

not sorry for loving you

get in the water

dangerous

i thought everything was heavenly and i dont understand the hate for 600 strike???? people saying it was "too anime" like jorge wasnt inspired by video games and anime so like theres going to be a big anime cutscene of "the final boss"

my biggest complaint just stems from the fact that the saga felt a bit rushed imo? but like... thats just because the odyssey is so fucking long so of course the saga is gonna feel a bit cramped because theres just too much happening that can be put in the musical at one time

also also uh... the calypso hate... oh my god the calypso hate jesus christ you guys. calling her a monster and evil is like. an absolutely insane jump (IN MY OPINION)

because... okay. heres where my line of logic falls. obviously epic!calypso =/= odyssey!calypso are... different people, so obviously epic!calypso isnt going to be the exact same as odyssey!calypso. and i NEED people to get that distinction through their minds because i feel like y'all are comparing the two when theyre different characters written by different people.

people are saying calypso is manipulative in not sorry for loving you and im sorry, i just dont see it. manipulation is purposeful, its directed, its pointed. and i just... dont think thats what she was doing. granted she DID use manipulative language with the line "and if you hate me, then im sorry my love is too much for you" but i dont think she was actively trying to manipulate odysseus

because, like, imagine living your entire life on a deserted island. NO ONE is around you. you are literally all alone. even circe had her nymphs and aeolus had their winions. calypso didnt have any of that. so OF COURSE she was all over odysseus. of COURSE she mistook her feelings for love. of COURSE she did everything to try to keep him there. hes the only thing like her that she has ever known.

and before you come at me. i know. i know that keeping someone trapped isnt an act of love, but she doesnt know that because shes had no experience with other people before. not even other gods!

so i wouldnt even necessarily say shes being manipulative. shes just... telling him what she feels and worded it badly.

my opinion of calypso boils down to: naive and not understanding. i dont think she fully understands the weight of keeping odysseus trapped and the duress that hes under. i dont think she fully understands odysseus but she really, really wants to. shes so desperate for him to stay that shes not listening to him. and it takes hermes talking to her to snap her out of her daydream that odysseus' is hers to keep.

not sorry for loving you isnt a tantrum. its her expressing her feelings to him. its her final, true act of love by letting him go even if she really doesnt want to.

and i dont think odysseus was just telling her he loved her because thats what she wanted to hear. i mean, odysseus does not seem like the type of man to lie about his feelings or sugar coat shit in any sort of way. so i think, in some capacity, they were probably friendly. i wouldnt go as far to say that they were friends but platonic love doesnt just grow overnight.

sorry this ended up being a Calypso rant, but i honestly love her and i just dont understand why theres a lot of hatred for her. and some of the comments ive seen about her are so vile that im honestly wondering if this has anything to do with epic!calypso at all...

like dont get me wrong, i understand and fully validate you if you felt uncomfortable by her because i do see where the discomfort can lie! but i guess my kneejerk reaction to hearing love in paradise and now not sorry for loving you is that this bitch needs therapy IMMEDIATELY!

and then if you want to know the rest of my opinions about the saga its that i thought dangerous was good it just wasnt my favorite, get in the water is under not sorry for loving you just cuz i liked it more, charybdis bops i just wish it was a little longer.

anyway please dont flame roast me for my calypso opinions lol. i just have a lot of sympathy for her ig

[hellonerf]

suicide is discouraged in the workplace

im not even gonna try to be coherent here. this is not an analysis post i am braindead. if i was a better artist makima wouldve been my muse when i was deep into chainsawman. actuallt she kind of was but i pussyed out

OK everyone here can subconsciously understand this connection. dont get too hung up on makima's strong motherhood theme and i just thought about what if ame was motherly and i couldn't kill myself right aftee thinking that as i have no means to it. that was a joke its late and im just me. i decided i wasnt a fan of motherly ame though so all suicidal thoughts erased. i am really chill now

old makima fanart i drew that im trying not to rip my hairs out over thinking about it with ame. also dont worry if this makes tou find my mainblog or main accounts whatever

actually theyre really different in many ways now that im looking at these. ame is so much of a son and makima is so much of a mother its like oppsoite spectrums. but thay makes the commonalities fun actuallt. i keep thinking about the movies and makima hating bad movies. ame is not an art kid by any means does he even care of the beauty of the world? i doubt it. but he likes bad movies and he likes cheap entertainment so who knows... they'd disagree on that. well i think makima's opinion on that was pretty extreme so i think most would disagree with her really

i could imagine ame going "Chainsawman. Doesn't spit." and smoking for the first time to look cool like in movies only to pathetically cough. thats their common trait... artifice... humans... but in a way that loops back to being Really Human i guess. holds a kind of arrogance and hubris that is so associated with humanity. it cant be anything else. ame should kill himself i think he should get moments of clarity and awareness and want to kill himself rqlly bad

both concepts of control. awesome. SUICIDE IS NOT ENDORSED IN THE WRKPLACE. ame goes to protestant church once or twice and sleeps because hes useless. makima is baptised and goes to local catholic churches not the cathedrals she supports the local christians.FUCK i just remembered the country mouse city mouse thing. ame is a liar and hates everything and loves everything and never feels content. i like to imagine him as a country mouse so fucking bad i want him to chill out one day and go to those middle of nowheres i know exist in america(can i shove cana in here and get away with it). why are they in the city if they are country mice? because..... you know..... you understand..... another w for eternal unhappiness (refer to title of this post)(suicide is discouraged in the workplace)

they are evil bosses i am the employee and when i ask for a break they gaze at me with a vacant stare and smile and i know in my heart they are viewing me like i am beneath them. i get scared and run away but truth is they didnt hear my request. they do not register individual people

if they met they would know immediately and viceversa. because everyone knows subconsciously because lying is futile and everything melts away. ame:i know a toxic boymom when i see one... okay im kidding makima is a toxic boymom if u push the chainsawman in ur head 🙂 ame as a kind of control devil works inmy head. i really believe ame was a polite child but demanding in many ways. sincerely wanting.

ame:gun devil i'll give you one year of the lifespans of the american people. in exchange i want you to kill makima—that is... the control devil (i never got around to drawing this)(ame and gun devil can you imagine)

or:gun devil i'll give you one year of the lifespans of the american people. in exchange i want you to kill alfred f jones—that is... the united states of america (paradox)

throughout all this i wanted to cite the best makima artist in the world ever but i'd feel bad if they wouldn't want to be associated with evil hetalia america blog. also i want to be normal and not cringe at being cringe just becayse i think makima was a thunderstrike of genius that i shouldn't taint. ame is a more flexible character to me for obvious reasons. this is how i'd shove ame into makima's role. but u couldn't put makima as ame. only one way. im okay with that. concept idea consensus words fear control blablabla u get the point i hate using words dont care sleepy now

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸

Damn! 162!

SPOILERS AHEAD

---

Consciousness returns to Buck like something slippery and elusive. An eel under murky water. Every time he thinks he’s got a grasp on it, it manages to get away from him. 

His memory of the time between passing out in the backseat of Maddie’s car and firmly feeling lucid again is fragile. He knows he did wake a handful of times. Knows people spoke to him. Though their words always sounded like gibberish. He knows he was burning hot, then freezing cold. He knows he was nauseated and parched and in horrendous amounts of pain. But, when he finally has a hold on his mind again, Buck can’t say exactly what has happened to him. 

He isn’t sure he’s a vampire. Though he remembers that was a risk. Even before he opens his eyes, he’s thinking about it. How would he know? Does one feel vampiric? He just feels gross. Heavy and foggy and sore in several places. Thirsty. Very thirsty. But for water. He manages to wiggle his tongue - which feels like lead in his mouth - enough to touch the bottom line of his upper canines. They feel normal. 

Buck cracks his eyes open. They’re dry and crusted with sleep. Immediately, the blare of overhead lighting has him regretting his choices. He remembers this sensation. There’s only one place he could be. The hospital. 

“Buck?” 

No offense to Sophia, who he loves dearly, but hers was not the voice he was most hoping to hear. 

“Soph?” He rasps.  His throat is horrifically dry.

He turns his head to see her sitting by his bedside. She looks tired. She’s wearing a hoodie and jeans. Not what she’d been wearing when he saw her last. 

“You seem actually awake this time,” she observes.

“Think I am,” he agrees, but he can’t be certain. “What day is it?”

“Friday,” she informs him. 

Oh fuck. He confronted Kim Tuesday night. Yikes. That’s a long time to be out. 

Buck looks at himself. Moving his neck too much causes a painful twinge in his shoulder. Probably from the stab wound. He’s got a cast on his left forearm. He can feel bandages scratching at his abdomen and neck. Okay. So he’s rather fucked up.

“Eddie?” Buck asks.

“At home,” Sophia answers. “We didn’t want him here for long. In case anyone wrongly suspected he was the one who did this to you.”

Oh. Buck hadn’t even thought of that outcome. 

“He’s going crazy having to keep away though,” Sophia adds. 

“Maddie?” Buck asks. 

His sister who is rightly furious with him.

“We just switched off,” Sophia says. “She had to go home to her kid. Or, as she said - annoyed, mind you - her other kid.”

Oof.

“She’s really mad?”

“Mad and worried,” Sophia answers. “Like me.”

“I’m sorry I worried you, Soph,” Buck says. “Really.”

“But not that you did it?” 

“Had to try.”

Sophia takes a deep breath. “Alright. I’ll forgive you and I’ll call for a doctor and I’ll text everyone that you’re okay, but… But I need to know one thing first.”

“Okay,” Buck replies. “What is it?”

When Sophia speaks again, her voice is very low. Almost too quiet amidst the noise of hospital machines. She doesn’t want anyone to overhear. 

“Why didn’t you include me, Buck? We would have had a far better shot together. You might not have gotten hurt at all.”

Or they both would have. 

But he gets it. He understands her anger. He would feel the exact same way, if she’d done what he did. They spent so long operating as an airtight team. Trusting only each other. Buck excluded her when, in her opinion, it mattered most. Yeah, he’d be livid, too.

“I didn’t want to make you a murderer,” Buck admits. 

Sophia furrows her brows. She doesn’t understand. 

“We were always ready to kill before,” she says. “We both took the same risks.”

“It’s different,” Buck insists. “That was only ever out of necessity. Dangerous vampires, who weren’t in control. Kim is just a regular person with a life.”

“She hurt you and Eddie!” Sophia hisses. 

“I know,” Buck says. That’s how he justified it, too. “And I hunted her like… Like the very thing we hate, Soph.”

She closes her mouth. He can tell she’s biting the inside of her cheek. 

“I didn’t want you to be that,” Buck says.

“I would have, for my brother,” Sophia protests.

“I know that,” Buck replies. Of course he knows that. That’s why he didn’t tell her. “But Eddie isn’t the only person I want to protect.”

Sophia’s breath hitches at that. Her eyes are a little teary.

“Fuck,” she complains. 

“I’m sorry, Sophia.” Buck says. 

“You should be,” she grumbles. “But I love you too, or whatever.”

Buck smiles weakly. “Thanks for not hating me.”

She rolls her eyes. 

“Now, can you tell me what the hell happened to me?”

💧💧💧

Sophia can’t explain it to him easily, so she calls for the doctor. Which is definitely concerning, to say the least. 

But when the doctor arrives to talk to Buck about his condition, he finds it’s surprisingly… Good? Other than a fractured wrist, and some flesh wounds that will need to heal - and probably require some physio, for his shoulder - he’s more or less okay. He’s not a vampire. He’s not even sick anymore. Apparently he has been quite fevered and ill, he just can’t remember any of it.

“You were indeed exposed to Hemodhampirosis,” the doctor explains. “We monitored your blood closely over the past three days. Somehow, Mr. Buckley, you fought the infection off.”

“That’s… Sorry, what?” Buck asks. “I didn’t know that was an option.”

“Frankly, neither did we.” The doctor replies. “And if the CDC does, it has not been shared with us.”

“I don’t understand,” Buck admits. 

Why him? Of all the people who have been infected. Eddie. May. Why would he be able to fight it off?

“Well, our best guess is that you have, in a slow and painful way, inoculated yourself,” the doctor explains. “Your records state you’ve been hospitalized for a severe bite once before. Likewise, your sister-in-law here explained that there has been another instance of you being bitten by an infected individual. So that makes three occurrences where you came in contact with Hemodhampirosis.”

Sister-in-law? When did that happen?

“Uh,” Buck replies sheepishly. “Yeah, there’s been more than that. Recently.”