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captainsolare · 4 years ago

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Summary: Hitoshi Shinso, manager of Open Mic coffee shop, is part of a Lonely Hearts Club, a club where you place ads in the newspaper to meet potential partners. You and Shinso have been corresponding via letters for months, falling for each other even though you have never met, nor have any idea as to what you look like. When you walk into the very coffee shop he works at, looking for a job, will you find a rival, or a soulmate?

Word Count: 8,921

Tags: SheLovesMe AU , Coffeeshop AU, Quirkless AU , f!reader, enemies to lovers

Characters: Y/N, Shinso, Midoriya, Denki, Mina, Hizashi Yamada (Present Mic), Shouta Aizawa (Eraserhead)

A/N: This was a huge labor of love for me, I adapted my favorite musical into a BNHA Coffee shop AU and I enjoyed every second of it. I decided to post this today (Oct. 6th) to celebrate my 5 month anniversary of becoming a writing blog. I hope you enjoy it! This is not a direct copy of the musical, I took a lot of the plot points out of my adapted story line and added things of my own of course. There are a few direct quotes from the musical embedded in here!

TW: If you watch the original musical, there are mentions of attempted suicide. In my written adaptation, that is not included because it is a subplot and irrelevant.

Anyways, I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did creating it. Special thanks to @library-of-grimoires for helping me brainstorm ideas for which BNHA character I chose.

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The air was warm with the last dregs of summer, a slight breeze stirring the air. Mina and Kaminari were outside the Open Mic coffee shop, getting ready to open up for the day. A delivery boy sped past on his bike, ringing the bell with a wave. Mina waved at him, taking a break from cleaning the outer windows. Denki was sweeping the sidewalk, but stopped to wipe his brow. “You know, we should totally skip work today and go on a picnic or something.” Mina smiled and stretched, “I know right! The weather feels amazing today.”

Shinso and Midoriya came strolling up, overhearing their friends’ conversation. Shinso chuckled, “Too bad Aizawa would kill us if we did.” Midoriya nodded in agreement and Denki hung his head, “Yeah, you’re right.” Shinso went inside, surveying the progress Mina and Denki had already made. The chairs were placed at the tables, the counter was clean, the fridge was stocked, Midoriya flipped the sign on the door to, “Open,” and they braced themselves for the morning rush.

When things finally slowed down, Shinso leaned on the counter, being the manager of this shop wasn’t easy, but luckily he had something to get him through the tough days. He absentmindedly brought his hand to his apron pocket, the letter from his “Dear friend” was there, its presence almost comforting. “Thinking about your, “friend” again?” Denki asked, the air quotes conveying exactly what he thought of the situation. Shinso smiled lazily at him, “And if I am?” Denki frowned, “Did she at least include a photo this time? Have you set a date to meet yet?” Shinso stood up, “No. And no.”

Aizawa came down from the upstairs loft with a frown, “Less chatting, more coffee making!” He yelled, before strolling out the front door. “Yes sir!” Everyone called after him. Hizashi padded down the stairs after him, “Oh ignore him, he’s in a grumpy mood today. The man never gets enough sleep at night.” Hizashi soon directed his attention on Shinso and he cringed, knowing what was coming. “So, Hitoshi, when are you going to settle down? You’ve been a bachelor for way too long.” Shinso stammered out some excuse, but luckily a delivery boy arrived, interrupting the awkward conversation. “Ooh! They’re here!” Hizashi exclaimed, clapping his hands excitedly.

“What’s here?” Midoriya asked, observing the piles of boxes arriving that they’d need to unpack. “Why, only the best thing ever!” Hizashi exclaimed, opening one of the boxes and pulling out a black leather box. He opened it and a happy little tune played, Hizashi’s smile widening as it played. After the tune stopped, there was silence, “Okay, that’s great sir. But what is it for?” Denki asked. “To hold things!” He exclaimed, as if it were obvious. “But, will anyone buy them?” Shinso asked.

Hizashi laughed outright at that, “You’ll see! These will be selling like hotcakes.” He caught sight of Shinso’s quirked eyebrow and smirked. “I’ll make you a bet kid, I bet we’ll sell our first one within 1 hour.” Hizashi emphasized one by sticking a finger in his face, Shinso backed up, hands raised in defense, “I really don’t want to take your money, sir.”

“Oh I see, the coward doesn’t want to lose his money.” Mina teased, piping up from where she was restocking the cabinets. Shinso bristled at her comment, “Alright, you’re on!” One by one customers trailed in, and each time, Hizashi tried to get them to buy his musical “holding boxes.” Each time, he was unsuccessful, leaving Shinso with a big smile on his face.

Hizashi had to go to the upstairs loft for a moment, and Shinso checked his watch. Only 10 minutes left. The front door chimed and Shinso stood up straight, “Hello ma’am, can I get you anything today?”

You glanced at him, a nervous expression on your face. “No.” You said. Shinso was slightly taken aback, “Uh… Okay.” You stood there, a blank expression on your face for a moment, Shinso started to turn away, needing to attend to something when you seemingly snapped out of it. “Oh actually yes.” Shinso smoothed his apron and turned back to face you, plastering a smile on his face, “Okay, would you like a tea?” “No.” You replied.

One by one he went through all the items on the menu, and you said no to all of them. “Pardon me, but that’s,” Shinso paused awkwardly, “everything on the menu.” He shot a glance at Midoriya, hoping his coworker could offer some semblance of help, but he only shrugged his shoulders and began helping the next customer that came in. “Is Mr. Aizawa here by chance? Or Mr. Yamada?” You asked, gripping the handle of your bag with what looked like white knuckle strength.

Shinso cocked his head, “Maybe, I think they’re upstairs.” You looked hopeful at his words, standing up a little taller, but your hopes were dashed when he finished, “But, they’re both very busy today.” “Oh,” You said, crestfallen, “I don’t mind waiting!” You said, striding over to one of the nearby tables and sitting down, Shinso came out from behind the counter to follow you. “May I ask why you need to speak with them? As the manager, I can take a message.” You shook your head adamantly, “I’d rather speak with them directly if possible.” You clenched your hands together awkwardly, playing with your fingers. Shinso let out a small, almost inaudible sigh, “Okay, can I ask your name at least?” “L/N! Y/N L/N.” You replied. “Okay Ms. L/N, I’ll go tell them you’re here.”

Shinso started to leave, motioning to Midoriya that he’d be back soon, but you stopped him by tapping his shoulder. He stiffened at the sudden contact but turned to face you with a smile on his face, Oh the joys of customer service. “Yes ma’am?” He asked. You cocked your head to the side, demeanor as awkward as when you first walked in, “One more thing, you’re still, hiring right?” You asked. Shinso narrowed his eyes, “Are you… looking for a job?”

You put your hands up, “Guilty as charged!” You admitted, chuckling a little. Shinso pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, Seriously? I’m not even in charge of hiring. A job? In this economy? Shinso began to walk away once more, as more customers were entering the shop and he needed to actually do his job. “I’m a great barista!” You called after him, there was no way you were missing this chance. “I know coffee like nobody’s business! I even have a letter of recommendation.” Denki made eye contact with Shinso, gesturing that he had the new customers covered and so he turned back to you. “A letter of recommendation? For a coffee shop gig?” He asked. You nodded, muttering to yourself as you rummaged around in your bag for your letter. You kept putting item after item into his arms, only serving to get him even more annoyed than he already was. What the heck is this girl’s problem? Suddenly it was like a lightbulb went off as you remembered where you had actually put the letter, you reached into your back pocket and pulled it out, “Aha! Here it is!” You looked at Shinso and seeing his look of irritation, sheepishly held your bag open so he could put your things back inside. He unceremoniously did so and gritted his teeth, “Look, I’m sure you’re wonderful. And I’m sure that letter is really something, but the truth is, we aren’t hiring right now.”

Your face fell, “What? But I saw on the website that---” At that moment, Aizawa appeared, “What’s going on here Shinso?” He asked, eyes flicking between the two of you, “Perhaps I can be of assistance.” Shinso put his hand on his hip smugly, “She wants a job.” He said, gesturing towards you with his thumb. “What?!” Aizawa exclaimed, taken aback, “Out of the question.” He began to walk away from you, people seemed to be doing that a lot to you lately, but you followed him, trying to stand up for yourself and give him the letter.

You looked around desperately, looking for any chance to prove yourself. Your eyes zeroed in on the back wall display, a woman was looking at a leather box. You strode over, confidence renewed, “Aren’t these just wonderful?” You piped up, smiling at the woman. She glanced at you, “I suppose so, but what are they for?” You sent Shinso a panicked glance but he simply shook his head, not willing to help you in this situation. You shake off his rejection and turned back to the customer, stretching your hands out to her. She placed the box in your hands, watching to see what you’d do with it.

You opened the box and the tune began to play, “Why, it’s a musical jewelry box of course!” You said with a smile. Shinso blinked, A musical jewelry box? Seriously? The woman tipped her head, “A musical jewelry box? Why would I need one of those?” You studied her for a moment, eyes drawn to her engagement ring. “Pardon me for asking ma’am, but do you by chance have a partner at the moment?” The woman nodded with a smile, glancing down at her ring. “And you like jewelry?” The woman nodded once more. Your face brightened with a smile, “Well, this is perfect for you! If you buy this box, your partner will have no choice but to buy you jewelry to put in it.”

Shinso watched this exchange with a roll of his eyes, shoving down the fear that maybe he’d lose his bet. “And the tune?” You continued, “Whenever your partner hears it, they’ll know how much you appreciate the gifts they gave you. Just imagine the smile on their face, all because of this box.” Hizashi came downstairs near the end of this exchange, watching with a smirk on his face. “I’ll take it!” The woman says. Shinso chokes as Hizashi practically cheers at the sale. He rushes down the stairs grabbing your hands and saying, “You’re hired!” Shinso’s jaw drops, “What?!”

Shinso stood there, dumbstruck at the whole situation. Hizashi snapped him out of it with a tap to his shoulder, “Now Shinso, if you please.” He said, extending his hand. Shinso grumbled while he fumbled in his pockets for the money they had bet. He watched you conversing with your new coworkers and he grumbled once more, the irritation bubbling within him. “I’m taking my break.” He muttered, strolling out the front door and heading to a nearby bench. He wasn’t one to smoke, but if he was, there would definitely be a cigarette in his hand.

His sun was dulled by your shadow as you stood in front of him awkwardly; he lazily opened an eye and looked in your direction. “Can I help you?” He asked, coming off a little harsher than he intended. You rocked back and forth from your heels, to the balls of your feet, “I’m sorry for making you lose your bet.” He cocked an eyebrow, “That’s all? I don’t care.” He stood up and smoothed his apron, then returned to the coffee shop, leaving you standing there alone. You clenched your fist, Ugh! The nerve of this guy!

Fall came, and with it a sense of new opportunity, and more letters. You had yours tucked in your pocket, ready to be taken to the post office after work; you walked in the door with a smile, “Happy October!” Midoriya groaned, “October? That means our seasonal drinks will be here soon.” Mina seemed to be getting a flashback to some terrible event as she shuddered, “Pumpkin Spice season.”

You soon learned just how terrible ‘Pumpkin Spice season’ truly was, those days you could never quite catch your breath. Your relationship with Shinso was still rocky, but during the hectic days when he could see you were struggling he seemed to be a bit kinder to you. You went to a nearby restaurant on your lunch break and pulled out the letter you had received from Dear Friend, you felt your heart skip a beat as you held it, you had only picked it up this morning so you hadn’t gotten the chance to read it yet.

Dear Friend,

I hope this letter finds you well, you are my only source of peace these days. Everywhere I look I find something else that annoys me, and work is as hectic as ever, it’s always worse during this season, but things just feel harder. I find solace in your letters though, I can always count on you to bring a smile to my face. I’m glad to hear that your new job is going well, I hope that one coworker you’re having issues with sees how wonderful you truly are.

Talk soon,

Your friend.

You felt your heart swell as you read it, and you sighed dreamily as you held the letter to your chest. There was something familiar about the scent coming off of the pages, but you couldn’t quite place it. Denki joined you at your table, jolting you from your daydreaming and you jumped. “What’s that?” He asked, curious as to the papers you were holding. You quickly tucked them away in your bag, “Oh it’s nothing! A friend of mine sent me a letter. I love getting letters, don’t you?” Denki shrugged as he took a bite of his sandwich, “I guess so, but isn’t it easier to send a text message?”

November was soon upon you, and there was tension in the air. Shinso had been even more on edge than usual, and your fighting was worse than ever. You were on your lunch break with Mina when you decided to bring it up with her. “Hey Mina?” You asked, looking across to the pink girl. “Yeah, what’s up? Something on your mind?” You leaned on your elbow and sighed, playing absentmindedly with your straw wrapper. “I just, I just feel like Shinso just doesn’t like me very much. Ever since I came here, he hasn’t been nice to me at all.” You lamented. Mina chewed on her lip thoughtfully, “Well, if you want my opinion on things, from an outsider’s perspective, it seems like you haven’t been very nice to him either. Have you considered his feelings about it? Whenever you see each other it’s like two magnets repelling.”

Her words stung in a way you had no idea they would, she was right, you really hadn’t considered his feelings about your treatment of him. You tapped your finger on the table, considering her words and what you could do to be the bigger person in all this. “Thanks Mina, that’s very helpful.”

The next morning, you arrived to work early and helped Shinso without being asked. Shinso was surprised at your behavior, he supposed he should have just accepted it as kindness but there was something in him, the suspicious part of him that made him feel annoyed instead. First, you were helping him sweep, then you were sorting things that he normally sorted, then you were offering to stay late so he didn’t have to. Finally he’d had enough, “Do you think I can’t do my job or something? What’s your problem today?” He asked, words injected with venom, hands on his hips. Tears burned in the back of your eyes, “I-I didn’t think that at all. I just thought--”

“Thought what? That I needed your help? Even though I’ve been at this job way longer than you have?” He interrupted. You didn’t bother to reply, just grabbed your bag and stormed off into the night, not willing to let him see your tears. Midoriya and Mina stared. “That was, highly uncalled for man.” Midoriya said, before returning to sweeping. Mina walked out after you, but not before sending a scathing glare Shinso’s way. Midoriya finished sweeping and left; Shinso was still frozen in place, left alone in the empty coffee shop.

The next day, Shinso received your letter and it felt like he had failed you, well, Dear Friend. As he read it, he replayed the scene of you walking out into the night, and was filled with regret. I should, apologize.

Dear Friend,

I think this week I will try to be kinder. Too often I have not considered the consequences of my words and actions and as a result, people I care about have gotten hurt. So this week I am going to try on kindness. I challenge you to do the same.

Talk soon,

Your Friend

December came, and like the cold weather you met his apology with stony silence. As time passed, you retained a professional work relationship, though barbed words were still tossed between you, they were less sharp than before. Shinso was outside, reading a paper of some kind when you walked up to him. “Good Morning Shinso!” You said, warmly. Shinso glanced at you and made a big show of checking his watch, “Ah, Ms. L/N, I see you’re on time today. Congratulations!” He replied, a fake smile plastered on his face. You returned his fake smile, “So sorry to disappoint you Shinso.”

You headed for the door but he put an arm out to stop you, “Oh but I’m not disappointed, far from it. Let’s call it… surprised.” He chuckles and you chuckle too, but yours served to mock him. Instead of gracing him with a reply, you entered the shop and slammed the door before you could follow him through it.

Denki and Midoriya were sweeping the walk and cleaning the windows, watching the exchange with a mixture of confusion and amusement. “They always argue, why is that?” Denki asked, looking up at his coworker. Midoriya glanced down at him, “Oh it’s simple really. Sometimes when two people like each other very much---” “Wait wait wait! They like each other?” Midoriya nodded, “I think so.” Denki cocked his head to the side, “Well don’t you think we should tell them?” Midoriya stepped off the stepladder with a laugh, “Trust me, they’d never believe us.”

A week passed, and you were at home, reading and rereading your letter from Dear Friend.

Dear Friend,

Have you set your calendar for Tuesday? I can’t wait to meet you, I feel as though I already know your soul, and I can’t wait to match a face to what I already know.

See you soon,

Your friend

You squealed and held the letter to your chest, collapsing back on your bed. I can’t believe I get to meet him tonight! You rolled over and glanced at the clock, Perfect, still plenty of time to get to work. You got ready for the day, nervous as you had ever been, you changed outfits dozens of times, wanting to look perfect for this life-changing date, finally you settled on an outfit, dressy but not too dressy, but it still looked good as hell on you if you did say so yourself. You glanced at your clock, “Crap! I’m late.”

Shinso sat in the upstairs of the coffee shop, reading your letter over and over.

Dear Friend,

I’m waiting warmly for our date, even though it’s quite cold out these days. Until then, I count the hours until I’m with you.

See you soon,

Your friend

His heart was nearly beating out of his chest, and he had a goofy smile on his face. “Hot date tonight?” Aizawa asked, causing his cheeks to turn a deep shade of red. “Th-that’s none of your business sir!” Aizawa chuckled, “So that’s a yes then, it’s about time. I hope it goes well.”

You rushed into the shop, smoothing your clothes once you were inside. “Good morning Y/N!” Mina said warmly, smiling at you. You waved breathlessly, “Am I terribly late? Has Shinso noticed yet.” “No and no. He’s upstairs right now.” You felt yourself instantly relax, having him lecture you on a day as important as this one was something you didn’t think you could handle. “By the way, you look stunning today babe!” Mina said, wrapping her arms around you for a quick hug. You smiled and took a step back, doing a spin for good measure. “You really think so?” “We do! Right boys?” She said, gesturing for Denki and Midoriya to compliment you as well.

They chorused their agreement and your smile grew wider. “Thank you all, I was so nervous it took me forever to get dressed this morning. Which is why I’m so late.” You grimaced. Denki surfaced from behind the counter. “Oh? I know what that means. Our little Y/N is in love. And you’re meeting with them tonight!” Denki said, elbowing your side and waggling his eyebrows. Midoriya rolled his eyes, “And how would you know that?” Mina looked at him with wide eyes, “Oh didn’t you hear? Denki is our resident expert in love. Which is quite remarkable considering that he’s never been in it.” Mina teased, sticking her tongue out at the blonde.

Shinso came down the stairs and you stiffened, bracing yourself to be yelled at, but he simply said good morning and walked right past you to go behind the counter. Your eyes widened and you leaned in close to Mina. “He didn’t yell at me. What’s wrong with him today?” You whispered. Mina shrugged, “Dunno. He has seemed pretty preoccupied by something today though.”

“Dammit!” Shinso yells as he spills whipped cream all over his shirt. Denki quickly heads back to where he is and helps him clean up. “Dude, what’s up with you today? You’re so nervous I can feel you vibrating.” Shinso’s hands shake as he wipes off the whipped topping, “Well, you know, big day haha.” Denki quirks an eyebrow, “Big day? What’s up?” Shinso wrings his hands nervously, “Well, I’m meeting her tonight.” Denki gasps, “The letter girl!” Shinso claps his hand over Denki’s mouth and nods, looking around and praying that no one heard his outburst.

The two headed upstairs where they could speak more privately. “So… Face to face at last.” Denki says, a lazy smile on his face. Shinso nods as he paces back and forth. Denki sighs, “Well, I tell you what, I hope she’s everything you’ve dreamed her to be.” Shinso leans back against the railing, looking up at the ceiling, “Can I be honest with you Denki? I hope she isn’t.” Denki looked up sharply, a judging look on his face. “Because,” he continued, “If she’s as beautiful, or as smart, or as funny as I think she is, then what will she think of me?”

“Can I be honest with you? I think it’ll go just fine; because you’re smart, and you’re funny and handsome, not as handsome as me of course, but still handsome. And if she can’t see that, it’s her loss.” Shinso shot him a look at the handsome part but still let a small smile cross his face. “Sorry man, I’m just nervous and upset. We’ve never met and I get to meet her, tonight, at eight.” He kneaded his forehead, “Geez, I can already feel how much of a nightmare today is going to be,” He looked at his watch, “Oh lucky me, 3 more minutes, 2 more seconds, 10 more hours to go!”

Downstairs, you and Mina were stocking the shelves with holiday items. “So... “ Mina nudged you. You hummed in response,” Your hot date tonight, what’re they like? I want to know everything!” Your hand came to a stop near the shelf, “Well, the truth is, I’ve never met him.” Mina gasps, “Never? So this is a blind date?” You shook your head, “No. I know him, we’ve just never met.” You and Mina continued to stock the shelves as you talked. “How can that be?” She asked.

You turned to her with a smile, “Letters, so many letters.” Mina widened her eyes, “You belong to a Lonely Heart’s Club?!” You closed your eyes and nodded, embarrassed. “To be perfectly honest with you, I was just as surprised as you are. But, I saw his ad in the paper and we started talking.” Mina looked at you skeptically, “What if he’s like old?” You shook your head, “Don’t be silly, the advertisement says ‘young man.’”

“You haven’t even asked for a photo?” Mina asked, flabbergasted as you shook your head once more. You sat back on your knees and looked at her, “I don’t know his name or what he looks like, but really I don’t need those things. I know what he looks like on the inside and that’s what's important. I know that he’s kind, and soft-spoken, and nice, and terribly well-educated. And he was often the only thing that made me smile on the hard days. That’s what matters to me,” You stretched, “I wasn’t sure about this whole thing at first, but somehow, somehow he made me fall for him through words alone.”

Mina smiled as she stood, “Well I hope things work out tonight.” She helped you stand, and you stepped back to admire your work. You were in the middle of high-fiving when Shinso came down the stairs. “Hey everyone! Aizawa wants us to stay late to put up Holiday decorations.” Your heart dropped, “Um, Shinso? I can’t.” He gawked at you, “And why not?” You put your hands up, “I have a date, you know that!” Shinso made a face, “I know no such thing.” You placed your hands on your hips, “How can you say that? Why do you think I dressed up today? For my own personal health or something?”

Shinso shook his head, not in the mood to argue. “Honestly, I have no idea why you dressed up. But either way, I’m just following Mr. Aizawa’s directions.” You leaned against the counter, “Why did he have to pick this one night?” You gasped and looked at Shinso, “Unless it was you who picked it! Because you knew that I had plans.” Shinso stared at you in disbelief. “You know, it’s depressing to know that you hate me that much.”

He narrowed his eyes, “I do not hate you!” He objected, then he sighed. “Look, can we have a truce?” He extended his hand to you. You took it with a smile, “Of course Shinso, anytime. After all, it’s always you who starts these things.” You start to walk away but he pulls you back at your words. “Oh I’m the one?!” He raised his voice, offended that you would say such a thing. You nodded adamantly, “Yes! Admit it, you’ve resented me since the moment I got here.” He scoffed and let go of your hand like it burned him. “For the record, I don’t resent you.”

The two of you began to walk in opposite directions but suddenly Shinso whirled around, causing you to do the same. “But if I did!” He yelled, “I would have good reason to!” You looked at him indignantly, “Is this about that bet? The one I made you lose? Because that’s a petty reason to resent someone.” “I already told you I don’t!” You rolled your eyes and stormed away from him, straight outside to the bench, you needed a moment to cool down. “That must be the rudest, most difficult, worst-tempered girl in the world!” Shinso yelled.

The rest of the day passed without much incident; in the end, you did get to leave as you planned. It began to snow as you walked to the restaurant, each step growing more hesitant. You gripped your copy of Little Women tighter in your hand, praying that the night would go well. Will he like me? You wondered, Will I be what he’s imagined me to be? Can I live up to the expectations I set in the letters? The restaurant was on the corner coming up, you reached it, and paused at the door. There would be no hiding behind your paper and pen tonight, he was going to see the real you. You were jostled by a couple walking past you to enter the building and snapped out of it. He must be in the same boat I am. I’m sure he’s just as nervous as me.

You shook off your nervousness and gathered the courage to walk inside. You greeted the host, and were seated at a table, your date was nowhere to be seen yet. Tapping your foot anxiously, you set the book on the table sitting up where it would be visible, and you pulled the rose, the other calling card of your correspondence, from your bag.

Back at the coffee shop, Shinso was barreling in through the door. Denki looked at him in surprise, “Why are you back? Didn’t you have a date like now?” Shinso nodded breathlessly, “I do. I was almost there but I got nervous and ended up running all the way back here. Will you go with me?” Denki nodded, untying his apron quickly and hanging it back on its hook. Once they were outside they could talk more freely. “So… why did you want me to go?” He asked. Shinso sent him a nervous glance, “I’m too nervous to look first.” He admitted, “I need you to look. She’ll be sitting alone, with a red rose and a copy of ‘Little Women’. And I have my rose, I’m going to tuck it in my breast pocket.” Denki smiled, “Oh I see. You want me to do a little surveillance, ease your nerves a little bit.” Shinso nodded, they would be approaching the restaurant soon.

You sipped your water nervously as the hour grew later. Has something happened to him? Is he not coming? Did he already come and leave? The waiter came by once more, “Can I get you anything ma’am?” You shook your head politely, “Not yet. It should only be a little longer.” I hope.

The boys entered the restaurant, Shinso trailing behind. Once they were inside, Denki elbowed him. “Where’s the rose?” He asked. When Shinso didn’t answer, he was smacked on the arm. “Oh, um, here.” Shinso pulled a wilted rose from his pocket. Denki made a face that was a mixture of pity and confusion, but he didn’t vocalize his thoughts. “Give it to me.” He said, pulling it from his grasp. He neatly tucked it into his breast pocket, then ran his fingers on Shinso’s hair, smoothing it. “Okay deep breaths buddy, I’ll go take a look at your future wife.” He said, tapping the front of his friend’s shoulder lightly.

Denki awkwardly weaved through the tables, scrutinizing every guest for the items he needed to look for. Each person he made eye contact with looked extremely uncomfortable by the situation but he brushed it off. I have a job to do. One table near the wall, the person had the menu in front of their face so he stood precariously on his tiptoes to peer over it. Instead of a pretty young girl, he was met with the face of an elderly man, “Oh, I’m sorry sir. Have a nice meal.”

He was nearing the last table, in the corner of the restaurant. He gasped when he saw the occupant, it was you, dressed up with a book on the table, a rose tucked in as the bookmark. He froze and did the only thing he could think to do, he ripped the scarf from his neck and held it in front of his face as he made a hasty retreat back to Shinso’s side.

Shinso saw his friend’s pale face and his heart dropped, eyes wide with concern. “She’s old. She’s old and ugly and has no teeth? That must be it.” Denki shook his head, “I… wouldn’t say that.” Shinso hit his fists together, “Well there must be something wrong! You’re terrible at hiding things Denki.” Denki grimaced, “Well, she’s actually very attractive.”

Shinso felt his cheeks warm, “Really?” He hesitated, “Will I think so?” Denki shrugged, “Beauty’s a subjective thing, but I think so. She looks like…” Shinso interjected, “Some famous person! Right?” He started listing off names but his friend shook his head at every one. “Someone from our shop.” Denki finished. Shinso gave him an incredulous look, “Our shop? The coffee shop?��

Denki put his finger up, as if to reply, but he hesitated. “Just spit it out already!” Shinso snapped. “Well, she looks a little like… Miss Y/N.”

“Wait wait wait, Miss L/N Y/N? Our L/N Y/N?” Shinso asked, his heart beating a million miles an hour. What could this mean? Denki nodded and his heart dropped again. “No no no, that’s not right. You’re joking.” Denki shook his head adamantly, “No I’m not. This girl is the spitting image of our coworker, and your nemesis.” Shinso shook his head, there was no way this was true. It just wasn’t possible, you were abrasive and sarcastic, there was no way you were the girl from the letters. “Take a look for yourself, last table in the back corner.” Denki said.

Shinso did an almost identical repeat of Denki’s path a few moments ago. He weaved through the tables, and there in the corner, just as Denki said, you were. Shinso froze, then bolted, almost running out into the night, but Denki grabbed him. “You are not going to just leave her there. Go over there like an adult, and figure things out. I expect a status report in the morning. Good luck comrade.” Denki gave Shinso a mock salute and left, leaving him alone at the front of the restaurant.

Shinso reluctantly made his way to the back of the restaurant, mind running at a million miles an hour. He was in love with you? No way, it was all a mistake. It had to be. Shinso shoved the rose and book back into his bag, unwilling to give himself away. He cleared his throat and you looked up, nearly falling out of your chair. “What the hell are you doing here?” You hissed, anger starting to bubble up inside you. Shinso clenched his fist, bouncing it in the air, “Just out for a drink. How about yourself?” You stared at him, “I’m waiting for someone.” You replied, as if it were obvious. “Anyone in particular?” He asked.

“Obviously,” You replied flatly, “Like I said before, I didn’t get dressed up for nothing.” “Well, I could keep you company while you wait.” He offered, moving to sit down. You put an arm out to stop him, “Absolutely not. I told you that seat is reserved for someone very important.” A look of disappointment crossed his face, “So you won’t let me stay?” You weren’t sure what made you cave, but you relented. “Fine. 30 seconds.”

There was silence for a moment, when a thought hit you. “Shinso, are you spying on me?” You asked suspiciously, frustration welling up. “Didn’t believe me when I said I had a date so you have to come see for yourself?” Your voice rose, you were practically yelling. Shinso snorted, “Miss L/N. Who would I be spying for? Mr. Aizawa? Don’t be ridiculous.” You met his excuse with a glare, “Shinso, your time is up. If you don’t leave immediately I will have you thrown out!”

The waiter appeared, “Excuse me miss, I hate to be a bother but could you and your husband either quiet down or fight elsewhere?” Your jaw dropped, “H-h-husband?!” You exclaimed, flabbergasted by the notion, “This man is not my husband. This is a business associate.” “Oh well pardon me. Either way, you will need to quiet down for the comfort of our other guests.” Shinso stifled a chuckle as the waiter left, leaving you with a seething look on your face.

Shinso leaned forward on his elbow, “So. Have you known this person long? The one you’re waiting for?” You turned your seething glare on him, “Frankly, that’s none of your business.” A thought struck you that sent pangs of panic through your body, What if he’s already come here? What if he saw us together and left? “Can you just leave, please?” A wave of panic washed over you. “Now why would I do that? It’s not proper for a man to keep a lady waiting. Even if they are an old friend, a dear friend.”

You sighed, “I really don’t want to discuss this with you Shinso.” The song coming through the speakers changed, a classical song came drifting to your ears. “Ahh I love this tune.” Shinso reminisced, “My mother used to sing it to me when I was a kid.” “Mine to you replied.” Shinso gasped, “Miss L/N! Do you realize what this means? We have something in common!” “Hmm.” You hummed, “Well, it’s too bad I was the only one who grew up.” You replied, a fake smile plastered on your face.

Shinso met your smile with a fake one of his own; he knew this was wrong, playing with your feelings like this, but he couldn’t resist. He had no intention of telling you tonight, he wanted to test the waters first instead of shocking you with the news. “Ahh I see what’s going on here. You’re nervous because you’ve never met this person before!” You tensed at his words, confirming his suspicions.

The minutes passed, Shinso kept telling you horror stories he’d seen in the news about Lonely Hearts Clubs. You’d had enough of his nonsense for the night. You clenched your fists, and hit them on the table. “If you don’t leave right now, I will scream.” Shinso tried to interject, but your rant had begun, and it was an unstoppable flood. “You know? Dante once described all the depths of Hell. Maybe after this you should go there, you’d fit right in!” “Miss L/N---”

You stood, “Shinso! You are easily the most insufferable, insensitive man I have ever met.” Shinso scoffed, “I’m surprised at you.” but he made no move to leave. You gritted your teeth, “Fine, be that way. I’m sorry to have to do this.” You screamed, and before you knew what was going on, you and Shinso were out on the street in front of the restaurant. “Oh no.” You whispered, tears pouring down your cheeks. Shinso stood in front of you, he hadn’t meant for things to happen this way. You hit your fists on his chest as you cried, but it didn’t hurt him. “I’ll never forgive you for this.”

Shinso led you to a nearby bench, and you sat in silence for a long while. You looked up at him with tearfilled eyes, your eyes met his purple ones, ones filled with an emotion you couldn’t quite name. “Haven’t you had enough? Are you happy now? You got your revenge on me?” You sniffled sadly, “I genuinely don’t understand you, Shinso.” Shinso snorted, “How could you Miss L/N? You’ve never taken the time to get to know me.” You chuckled darkly and wiped the tears from your eyes, anger washing over you once more. “I know you plenty well. I know you’re just a not very smart, not very handsome man with the personality of a python.” The words stung Shinso, even though he probably deserved them, and he stood.

“Have a good night Miss L/N.” He said, voice tinged with a sadness that made your heart sting. “Wait!” You yelled as he walked away, “Oh Shinso, I didn’t mean all those things.” You reached after his retreating form with a futile hand. Soon he disappeared from view, leaving you alone in the chilly night. You waited on the bench, tears hot against your cold skin as you waited. You weren’t exactly sure what you were waiting for, for Shinso to come back?, for your mystery friend to arrive? You weren’t hopeful for either of those things, and yet you waited. Of course, it’s snowing. You thought to yourself, chuckling at your circumstances. “Oh well, I’ve been waiting for this person my whole life, what’s a few more hours?”

Somehow you made it home, but you didn’t care how late it was; no way in hell you were going to work tomorrow. You wouldn’t give Shinso the satisfaction of seeing you this way, you felt defeated, and you blamed him. You got into your pajamas, and slipped into bed, cursing the whole day.

The next day Shinso arrived at work, and you were nowhere to be found. “Miss L/N is not coming in today. She texted me.” Mina told Mr. Aizawa. Shinso overheard this and his heart clenched, he had royally messed up last night. “Hey Mina, what is L/N’s favorite food?” He asked awkwardly. Mina gave him a strange look, but gave him the answer. He made some excuse for leaving and headed to the corner store, and then to your place. He hesitated before knocking, would you be upset I came here? He wondered.

There was a knock at your door, “Who is it?” You asked hoarsely. You dragged yourself out of bed and to the front door, “Miss L/N? It’s me.” The voice sounded familiar, but with your pounding head you couldn’t place it. You opened it to find Shinso, “Oh, it’s you.” You slammed the door in his face, wincing at the bang. You grabbed a blanket from the couch and wrapped it around your form, then opened the door.

“I was--- in the neighborhood.” He said, awkwardly. You gestured for him to come inside and sat on the couch. “What do you want? If it’s about last night, just spit it out. I’m not feeling well today.” “So I heard.” He replied, setting the corner store bag on the floor. “You knew I was sick?” You asked, surprised. “I overheard Mina telling Aizawa about it.” “Oh.”

Suspicion welled up within you and you narrowed your eyes at him. “So, you decided to come here, and make sure I was really sick. You thought I was faking it!” Shinso shook his head in protest, “No! Believe it or not, I was actually worried about you.” You stood up suddenly and retreated to your room, rummaging around in your closet. Shinso followed you and stood in the doorway, “Um, what are you doing?”

“What does it look like? I’m getting ready for work, obviously.” You said, tossing a shoe haphazardly over your shoulder. “That’s not a good idea.” Shinso said. You scoffed, turning over your shoulder to look at him. “And why not? Because you don’t want me to go to work?” Shinso grimaced at you, “No, it’s not that. It’s the fact that you’re obviously ill and we work in a coffee shop.” You stopped abruptly, “Oh. That’s a good point.”

You sat on the edge of your bed, feeling utterly defeated. You couldn’t even bring yourself to be mad at this man, the one you felt like you hated as he stood in the doorway of your bedroom. “Wanna tell me what’s on your mind?” Shinso asked quietly, he knew he couldn’t fix everything, he did leave last night without telling you the truth after all, but maybe listening was a start. You sighed and somehow slumped even further.

"It's just--" you hesitated to finish, but there was something in Shinso's face spurring you on, "I love him, y'know? And last night was so awful I just, I don't even know if I can face him." You heard a sharp intake of breath that was quickly disguised as a cough. You began to cry, and Shinso felt his heart sink, he had really done it this time. He made a move to sit next to you on the bed, to try and comfort you, but hesitated. When you didn’t object, he tentatively sat next to you and brought his arm around to pat you on the shoulder. “Miss L/N, I don’t know if I could ever forgive myself for last night at the restaurant. I’m so sorry I ruined the night for you.”

You shook your head, “No! Because honestly you were right, I hadn’t met him before. He was just someone who was writing letters to me--- such wonderful letters.” Your voice broke a little as you said the last words. “He never showed up?” He asked, though he already knew the answer. You shook your head, “No. I waited and waited but he never came.” Shinso grimaced and looked away, “I feel very responsible for that, I’m sorry.”

You laughed and it was the first smile he’d seen you crack all morning, “Well, it was kind of your fault that we got kicked out of the restaurant, but even so… If he had cared at all, he would have explained.”

Shinso stood up suddenly and you thought you had offended him somehow, but he came back with a paper sack in his arms. "Well," he said, handing you the convenience store bag, "I'm sure he'll reach out, maybe he feels the same way. I hope you feel better, I’d better head to the shop now since we’re understaffed. I’ll send the others your best!” “Hey Shinso?” You asked, not wanting to leave your thanks left unsaid, “I really appreciate you coming here today. Spending time with you has made me, like you.”

Shinso smiled and ran his fingers through his hair in that way he always did, “Thank you Miss L/N, goodbye now.” And with a click of your front door, you were alone, you took a moment, for some reason you were already missing his company, but you didn’t let yourself dwell on that notion for too long; You reached into the bag to examine its contents.

A smile was instantly brought to your face, the bag contained all of your favorite snacks. I wonder how he knew… Mina maybe? That would make sense. You opened one of the snacks and looked around your room, eyes landing on your paper and pen that lay on your desk. You decided that it would be a good option to reach out to your Friend first, and apologize for last night.

Dear Friend,

I am so sorry about last night, it was a nightmare in every way. But together you and I can laugh at last night someday

You tried to finish the letter, but kept getting distracted by thoughts of Shinso. The way he smelled, the way he was so nice to you this morning, the snacks he had brought, that he had cared to come here at all after the way you treated him last night. You grimaced at that last thought, I was so nasty to him. Well… he certainly deserved some of it but even so.

Things went on like this for a while, you would write, then a thought would intrude. You know what? We were together this morning, and for the first time, we didn’t fight! Well, miracles do happen I guess. Oh wait, where was I?

Dear friend, blah blah blah blablah,

The more you let the incident with Shinso this morning stew in your mind, the stranger you felt about it; It was like he had become a totally new person overnight. Not that you were complaining, he had brought you food, and he smelled nice. Oh no, you stiffened, am I starting to have feelings? For him?! You waved the notion away with your hand, Nah! This isn’t some enemies to lovers romcom!

Shinso was trying his best not to be giddy. You loved him?! Surprisingly, that was the best news he had heard all day. He shook his head in amazement as he walked back to the coffee shop, How could I not have seen it before? It’s so obvious she’s the person from the letters. And she loves me! And I, I think I love her too. He walked into the coffee shop and Denki immediately picked up on his emotional state. “Something good happen today?” He asked, giving him a sly smile. Shinso shrugged, “Maybe. I’ll tell you over lunch.” Denki nodded, and they got to work.

Lunchtime came quickly, and Shinso breathlessly told Denki the story. Denki hung on to every word, and had a smug smile on his face at the end of it. “See? What’d I tell ya? Everything turned out fine.” Shinso laughed, “I suppose you’re right. Forgive me for not always trusting your judgement.” Denki put his hands up, “No harm done man. So, when are you going to tell her?” he asked, leaning forward. Shinso took a sip of his drink thoughtfully, “Honestly, I don’t think I’m ready yet. She doesn’t love me persay, she loves the man from the letters. I’m not just going to tell her outright that it was me the whole time, then she might feel betrayed. I want to earn her love, as the real me.” Denki smiled, “Hitoshi, you are really cool sometimes.” He snorted in response, “I’m going to pretend that I didn’t hear that ‘sometimes.’”

The days passed rather quickly after that, the holiday rush was upon the coffee shop and things were as busy as ever. “Care to grab lunch with me today Miss L/N?” Shinso asked, of course you agreed. This became a new ritual for the two of you, and soon he was walking you home from work as well. One winter afternoon it was snowing as you walked to grab lunch together, and you kept catching the snowflakes on your tongue. “You know that’s childish right?” He teased. You turned and stuck your tongue out at him, “Don’t. Care.”

Things had changed between you, you weren’t sure of the exact moment, but it had perhaps gone by without you even noticing. One day Midoriya brought up to you just how much it had changed, but you waved him off. “It hasn’t changed that much.” You said. You received a skeptical look in return, “Have you not noticed you’re on a first name basis with him now?” You blinked, then thought back to this morning, when the name Hitoshi passed through your lips as easy as water. “Oh.”

Mina was the one who brought this up to Shinso, and he was also taken slightly aback. Oh. I guess things really have changed. “I don’t mind the change though,” Mina continued, “I think it’s great you two are finally getting along! Someone had to get through that stubborn personality of yours.” “Oh quit teasing him Mina! You know he can’t handle it.” You interjected as you walked by, presents in your arms. “Oh! Are those for the party tonight?” Mina asked.

“Yes! You’re going right?” You asked, smiling at your friend. “Obvs! I’m so excited, presents and food with friends is the best part of the holidays.” You chuckled at her reply, “What about you Hitoshi? Are you coming?” You were painfully aware of the way his name felt in your mouth, it was almost too comfortable. He nodded, “Yes, I have some things I need to take care of here first though.” “Oh really? I’ll stay and help!” he tried to object, but if there was anything he had learned about you, it was that you were far too persistent to argue with.

And so you were left alone in the shop with Hitoshi Shinso, everyone else had gone on ahead to Aizawa’s house. “Are you excited for tonight? Your mystery man is coming right?” He asked, leaning the broom against the wall. “Of course! Excited, nervous, all of the above. And oh goodness, I am very nervous about that. You have so much in common with him, I’ll surely need you to help keep the conversation flowing.” You were facing away from him, straightening the shelves. “Yeah, about that…” His tone seemed off so you turned to face him, a questioning look on your face.

Shinso cleared his throat, “I am so sorry about last night, it was a nightmare in every way, but together you and I can laugh at last night someday.” He said quietly. You gasped, tears coming to your eyes. I’d only written those words to Dear Friend, so that must mean… “It was you? You were Dear Friend all along?” You asked breathlessly. He barely managed a nod when you were throwing your arms around him. “Hitoshi Shinso, you are a devil of a man you know that?” You laughed, and kissed him on the cheek.

“You’re not mad?” He asked, cheek warm at the place your lips had touched. “Of course not. Actually, I couldn’t be happier.” You replied, smiling as you watched your not-so-secret secret lover’s face light up with a beaming smile. “Well, that’s great. I’m glad I have you as my Dear Friend.” He said, slinking his arm around your waist. You walked to the party hand in hand, laughing about how you didn’t know sooner and how you had hated each other at first.

You rang the doorbell and Aizawa opened the door, an uncharacteristic smile on his face. You and Shinso looked at each other in confusion but you saw Hizashi standing behind him, pointing up. Mistletoe. You internally groaned, of course Aizawa would pull something like this. To your surprise, Shinso whirled you around and pulled you close, giving you a breathless kiss in front of all your coworkers. “I KNEW IT!” Midoriya yelled. Through fits of laughter, Aizawa invited you in. “Took you long enough, crazy kids.”

#shinso x reader #shinso fluff #enemies to lovers #she loves me #bnha coffeeshop au #bnha x reader #quirkless au #shinso hitoshi #aurora borealis

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lillupon · 4 years ago

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So, I've got a very long rant/opinion here and Idk really know how to say this without coming off kinda bad but I'm gonna say it anyways. I agree with the fact that the seventeen tag has been kinda dry lately on most fanfic places, but it's really only in the smut area. It's the sane way with other groups too I feel like. All of the nice little innocent tags are boomin to this day and thats completely fine. I think the smut tag is dry tho bc lately I feel like a few social issues (like sexualizing people and disrespecting them and their identity) have crossed over into kpop and have been ?blown out of proportion? Lately there's been a rampage of people who like to say that writing smut about someone is disgusting and is dehumanizing because people want to assume that it would make the idols uncomfortable which could equate to some morality issues on how you are reducing someone only to their body without their consent and a bunch of stuff like that. It kind of pisses me off bc this is fiction. About grown adults. Clamping down on horny people who simp over hot asian men isn't going to solve the issues we face in real life. I think a shit ton is wrong with the world we currently live in, and deciding to come after something that isn't even real bothers me. Like what does that actually accomplish. But yeah, I think thats a reason why smut has been dying down. I mean, on youtube almost every video about unpopular opinions, or things they dont like about kpop will include something about shipping idols in fanfics. And then everyone in the comment section will talk about how its all fine and dandy in moderation, but once people start writing smut it's crossing the idols personal boundaries. It's something I've been seeing a lot more often and I think people who are interested in writing smut are being turned away from it bc we've gotten to a point where people are being called disgusting for having fantasies.

Hi Anon, thank you for sending in this Ask.

I want to preface this by saying: when I write or talk about Mingyu and Wonwoo fucking on my blog, it is a fantasy. I am not speculating about what the real Mingyu and Wonwoo might be like in bed. I am imagining the versions of Mingyu and Wonwoo that I have created in my head, that exist only in my stories. None of it is real. I understand that this can be a blurry boundary for some people. But for me, the separation between fantasy and reality is well-defined. Now, on to your Ask!

You’ve hit the nail on the head with this one. You’ve also touched on many of the issues I have been struggling with myself as of late. It’s difficult to argue about morals since everyone has a different set of values, as well as different comfort levels. Some people think real person fiction (RPF) is a gross invasion of privacy. Others are fine with it. And others don’t care one way or another. There is no single answer; I can only offer my answer. Which means, of course, people are welcome to disagree with it, or parts of it.

In this essay (LOL But forreal: this is an essay), I will be sharing my experience in the k-pop fanfic community from 2014 to present, the etiquette I personally abide by as a reader and writer of RPF, as well as my stance on RPF in general.

I started reading and posting fanfics back in 2014/2015 on a website called AsianFanfics (AFF). Obviously, no one on that site had a problem with RPF, since AFF is a platform made specifically for sharing stories about Asian celebrities. For many years, I read and enjoyed RPF with zero guilt. I scribbled away by myself in my own corner of fandom and curated my own content. I didn’t interact much with other fans, readers, or writers. I didn’t have a Twitter, and I only used tumblr to reblog memes. As a result, I’ve been able to avoid a lot of anti-shipping discourse, as well as purity and cancel culture. I had no idea there were so many negative opinions about RPF. It wasn’t until I became active on the subreddit r/Fanfiction last year that I learned about all the discourse surrounding RPF.

This newfound ‘awareness’ does make me feel guilty at times—but only because after mulling this over, I still don’t think this is something to feel guilty about.

Here’s what I remember, first and foremost, when I create and consume RPF: fanfics and my favourite ships are fictional, and fiction is fantasy. This is basic etiquette when it comes to RPF, and most people in the k-pop fandom understand this. Delusional fans exist, of course, but they are not representative of the entire k-pop community.

Another point of etiquette is to keep fanfics within fandom spaces. I would never push my fics into celebrities’ faces, or go around claiming that my fanfics are accurate representations of a k-idol’s life or personality, in any way, shape, or form. I would also discourage directing ship-related questions to official accounts, or bringing them up during fansigns or other face-to-face interactions; I believe that in these instances, shipping does have the potential to strain real-life relationships.

So with basic etiquette out of the way, let me share my approach to RPF in general.

As much as we like to think we know our favourite celebrities, we really don’t. All we see is their public persona. And this public persona is intentionally controlled, managed, and curated by a team of people: directors, tabloids, editors, makeup artists, publicists, etc. How “real” are these celebrities? We are so distanced from them that they may as well be fictional.

I draw from the public persona that idols project, and I work them into my own writing. But at the end of the day, these personalities are my own interpretation. My interpretation is probably nothing like an idol’s actual personality. I just use the “public persona/character” that idols portray as inspiration for my own stories, which are set in wildly different universes.

More than anything, I think of k-pop idols as “actors” in my fic. You know how when you write an original novel, you scroll through Google images, looking for the perfect person to portray your original character? RPF is literally that, except you might build upon pre-existing dynamics and personalities.

When it comes to explicit fanfiction, two main concerns are prevalent: one of consent, and one of sexualisation.

If we argue against explicit RPF due to lack of consent, we should be willing to apply the same lens to all explicit works. How do we know that the creator of a movie, book, series, etc., is okay with us using their characters in our stories, explicit or not? We don’t. Perhaps some creators encourage fanfiction, but don’t want their lovingly crafted characters engaging in sexual acts or experiencing trauma. We just don’t know. I feel this line is even more blurred when we talk about characters from movies or TV series.

Let’s take Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, as portrayed by Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan, from the Captain America movies as an example. I am willing to bet that when people consume and create explicit fanfiction about Steve and Bucky, they are imagining Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan in their heads. I doubt many people are imagining the 2D cartoon versions of Steve and Bucky, even though they’re technically the exact same characters. Why? Well, it could be because movies are more readily and easily consumed than comics, and so people are unfamiliar with comic book Steve and Bucky. But it might also be because fans find Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan attractive. Is this really any different from RPF, where fic authors make up everything about a celebrity’s life?

When readers and writers of fanfic talk about how hot Steve Rogers or Bucky Barnes is, those comments are about Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan’s bodies. When reading explicit stories, fans are going to picture Chris and Sebastian’s bodies in their head, doing sexual things. Can we say, “Well, it’s not really you, Chris/Sebastian”, when in a way, it is?

The reality is, people are going to thirst over celebrities, regardless of whether or not explicit fanfiction exists. They’re going to post thirst tweets on Twitter. They’re going to talk to friends and strangers online about how hot [insert celebrity name here] is. They’re going to fantasize about dating and having sex with their favourite celebrity. Or, as it is in my case, they’re going to make up stories in their heads about their favourite idols dating and banging each other. People are going to do all of this without ‘getting consent’ from the celebrity. Cracking down upon and shaming writers of RPF isn’t going to change any of that.

To be honest, I’m not sure why people think it is disgusting to imagine sexual scenarios about real people. It is okay and normal to have these kinds of fantasies. I suppose the alternative is to fantasise about having sex with cartoon characters instead? It’s a very binary way of thinking to say that if you imagine/write real people in explicit scenarios, you are immediately sexualising, dehumanising, or objectifying them. There is more to dehumanisation than writing smut about our favourite celebrities. For one thing, you can love someone and appreciate all parts of them, and still want to fuck their brains out. And generally, fanfics come from a place of love—love that is not only sexual in nature.

Is it the sharing aspect inherent to fanfiction? The possibility that a celebrity might stumble upon explicit works about them? The chances are very low, I think, of the k-pop idols I enjoy writing about coming across my English fics. But I also believe in curating your own content, and that applies to celebrities too. Perhaps a celebrity should not go searching for fanfics about themselves. And of course, people should not show celebrities their fanfics, unless invited.

Another argument I hear against (explicit) RPF is, “How would you feel if someone wrote fanfiction about you?” First off, I don’t like this argument because there’s a difference between someone who decides to be a public figure versus someone who decides to remain a regular private citizen. Celebrities should and do know what they’re getting into when they choose their occupation. (This is not to say, “They are celebrities; sexualise them all you want because that’s what they signed up for.” Here, I am only acknowledging that people might have sexual fantasies about celebrities they are attracted to. Presumably, celebrities are cognizant of this.)

If someone (whose existence I am not even aware of, mind you) decides they want to write explicit fanfiction of me in some tiny corner of the Internet, I wouldn’t care so long as: (1) they don’t shove it into my face, and (2) they don’t harass me and ask invasive questions about my personal life and relationships. It’s not hurting me or negatively affecting my life, so it wouldn’t even register as a blip on my radar. When fanfiction remains within its appropriate spaces, it is largely harmless.

Now, if a k-pop idol were to ask their fans to stop writing fanfiction about them, would I? Yes, I would. However, I can’t imagine that happening. Judging by the number of ‘sexy’ concepts, fanservice moments, and variety shows such as ‘We Got Married’, I am certain that k-pop idols realise they are the stars of many fantasies—some of which are explicit in nature. Considering the prevalence of shipping in the k-pop industry, I would argue that shipping is subtly encouraged.

It’s sad that so many talented writers are shamed out of fandom, or feel that k-pop cannot be the medium through which they tell their stories, or explore their sexuality, or cope with trauma, or simply have fun. Professional works and Hollywood love their RPF—readers and writers of fanfics should be able to, as well.

As you said Anon, “clamping down on horny people who simp over hot asian men isn't going to solve the issues we face in real life” (this is a lovely sentence, by the way). The kind of person who dehumanises another and reduces them to a sexual object will do so some other way, if not via fanfiction. I don’t think the issue of fetishisation can be fixed simply by telling people not to write explicit RPF. In my experience, people who read and write RPF are more respectful and thoughtful about these things than the general public. We’ve all seen the general public say highly sexual things about celebrities in the media and to their faces, or tag celebrities in their thirst tweets. Are these things less invasive than fanfiction? Personally, I don’t think so. And in my opinion, there are more pressing and damaging issues in stan culture than fanfic.

In conclusion, I don’t think there is anything wrong with creating and consuming RPF, both explicit and non-explicit so long as we:

Remember we are writing fiction

Keep RPF within its appropriate space, and

Do not harass celebrities about their personal lives and relationships

RPF is not for everyone. There may be people who enjoy RPF, but draw the line at explicit stories. This is fine. Everyone has their own personal preferences. What is not fine, however, is attacking people for creating things you don’t like. I’m not sure what kind of moral crusade people are on and what they hope to achieve by shaming writers of RPF, explicit or otherwise. Ultimately, fic authors are writing a fantasy. It’s not real; no one is being hurt. I think it’s important for people to curate their own content, and AO3 makes it very easy to filter out explicit works and unwanted tags.

Maybe this is me trying to justify my own participation in explicit RPF—I don’t know. What I do know is that I love k-pop, and fandom is an important part of my media and entertainment experience. I adore the k-pop idols I write about, and I just want to imagine them being happy and getting lots of love and orgasms. Let a bitch be horny, goddamn…

Some bonus fun facts!

At the time I am writing this, on AO3:

26.2% of Stray Kids fanfics are rated M or E

26.3% of Seventeen fanfics are rated M or E

29.0% of Merlin fanfics are rated M or E

34.9% of Captain America (Movies) fanfics are rated M or E

40.1% of BTS fanfics are rated M or E ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Coincidentally, I saw this post on Reddit this morning: Can we have a RPF positivity post?

#asks #my writing #fic & fandom #I keep coming back to fiddle and add things to this answer #but I think I've said all I wanted to now...

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sabreean · 4 years ago

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One word for you...

Where I have not gone plastic-free:

Bread box: There are no plastic-free, airtight bread boxes that I’ve been able to find and I *must have* airtight. I make my own bread in a bread machine just because I like to, and the first few loaves I made here on the humid island grew mold within three days because my old bread box was not airtight. Bread bags are more eco-friendly but aren’t airtight, and will hold the humidity. I could find no silicon boxes and also could not find silicone containers/bags that I could be sure would be big enough to hold a loaf of bread and still close completely. I’m considering a giant silicone bag I found online, for marinating meat, so if I get that I can see if a loaf will fit inside. But I haven’t pulled the trigger on that yet, buying something just to marinate meat doesn’t fall neatly into the “I really need it now” category. So I purchased a BPA-free plastic, airtight box and it seems to be working very well. It’s so airtight that I was able to store bananas in it as well and there has been no sign of fruit flies.

Suncare: I spent two days working on the porch. I was under a roof in shade the entire time but I sunburn if I stand next to a toaster, so at the end of the second day I looked like Roy Neary in “Close Encounters of the Third Kind”. As in the right half of my face was bright red. I wasn’t wearing sunscreen because it breaks me out. All of it. Every single sunscreen ever. They all break out my face, neck and chest within 20 minutes of application. So I did some research and learned about mineral sunscreens versus chemical sunscreens and after reading a lot of recommendations and reviews, I ordered Alba Botanica Sensitive Mineral Sunscreen. Yes the tube is plastic, but there’s probably no avoiding that. The sport cream is 45 SPF, waterproof for up to 80 minutes, vegan, free of all the chemicals that turn my face into a Marscape, biodegradable and - get this - reef safe. That’s a “gee how nice” for most people but now that I’m swimming around coral reefs, shit got real. They also make a spray-on but it’s not legal to ship aerosol cans to Hawaii, something about them exploding under pressure blah-bibby-blah. Pretty bummed about that. For those wondering, until now I’ve worn a sun visor whenever I’m outdoors but it didn’t occur to me to wear it on a covered porch. I’m sure it didn’t occur to Roy on a dark deserted highway in the middle of an Indiana night, either. LATER UPDATE: Native makes a mineral sunscreen and I thought it wasn't water resistant, but it turns out that it is, although I should not have had to dig so deep into their website to find this out. Better than getting anal probed, all things considered. The Alba sunscreen is very thick and hard to squeeze out of the tube, and you can feel it on your skin at first but you forget pretty quickly. It is completely unscented. You have to make sure to rub it in well if you don’t want to look a little weird. It showers off clean and easy and after a few days with it, not a single blemish! Our pharmacy sells some water resistant mineral sunscreens. I didn’t price them the last time I was there to compare with online ordering and they are probably reef-safe because as of January 1 of this year, suncreeens containing oxybenzone and octinoxate are banned in Hawaii to protect the reefs. But my next purchase will be Little Hands because it is made right here in Hawaii. I have been a big believer in ‘buy local’ for many years and they are plastic-free.

Groceries: Groceries haven’t changed. I’ve been using cloth shopping and produce bags for many years, they just bloody well work better. I do buy some foods in plastic, often there just isn’t any alternative. This was true even on the mainland. The main change is that now I walk to the store more often than not. I was able to walk to almost everything I needed when I lived in Austin’s SoCo in the early aughts and I loved it, I am so so happy to be able to do that again. Knowing I’m just a pleasant stroll away also means that I only buy what I need in the immediate future. There are a few exceptions for items that sell out very soon after the weekly supply barge comes, and don’t always get restocked even then. I drive when I have to buy heavy or awkward to carry things, like a case of soda. I’ve found conflicts with grocery choices because of a weird contradiction: non-hippie products in cardboard/paper packaging versus hippie products in plastic. I first noticed this when I went to buy sugar the other day - do I get the organic non bleached sugar in the plastic bag, or the nonorganic bleached sugar in the plastic bag? It wasn’t much of a conflict in any real world sense, just something that grabbed my attention. (I went with the plastic by the way, for the organic foodstuff that was going to go into my body).

Probably the clothesline, I have no idea what the hell that thing is made of, most likely nylon. We don’t use it for everything because it’s too humid here to dry everything in a reasonable amount of time. But we use it for some things - especially towels and swim wear - and I’m glad that we have it and it saves money on electricity. Our electricity generation here on the island is likely solar but still, no need to be greedy about it. Lots of people here have clotheslines, they are a common sight I am glad to see.

Bandages: I use Wellys. Patch bamboo bandages sound great, but I am clumsy AF and so I need bandages that are going to stay on through wet and dry and everything else. Wellys are flexible fabric, latex-free bandages made in the USA, in reusable tins that you can buy refills for if you don’t want a new tin, and that create a seal around all four edges. They are a certified B Corp so even with a bit of plastic, the company is still in line with my ethics.

Makeup: I use mostly mineral makeup, because it lasts longer (no organic ingredients to breed bacteria) and many mineral brands offer smaller quantities that are more sensible for people who don’t wear it everyday, or at least don’t wear the same colors every day. On the mainland I went weeks without wearing makeup and here I’ll probably go for months, it’s just such a casual place. I might wear some when we go across to Maui for a long weekend. But there are a lot of all natural and plastic-free makeup options out there these days, I am glad to see. If I need to replace anything I will shop with them but it’s just stupid and wasteful to toss everything out and buy new. One thing I won’t compromise on is mascara, I use Thrive because it really does what it claims, and it is still a company that aligns with my ethics. Many zero-waste brands sell cake mascara and that’s a complete nope for me. I tried cake mascara in high school, when I was going through my Audrey Hepburn/Sophia Loren makeup phase and I really didn’t like it. I also tried cake eyeliner and must confess that this elder goth never ever got the hang of liquid eyeliner, Icarus winged better than I can. I gave up a long time ago, pencil me in baby. Also, I wear lipstick, the paint-on stuff that stays on through food, drink, sex and a nuclear blast. IMO, lip balms are a waste of money and do not count as ‘makeup’, unless you’re only intention is to prevent chapped lips and with a small amount of color that lasts few minutes at a time.

Hair brush: I need a new hair brush that is designed for my long fine mane because my hair is getting a lot of punishment here, between wind and swimming and so more frequent washing and lots of pulling and tugging into braids. I bounced back and forth between Ibiza (boar bristles, wood handle) and Mason Pearson (boar bristles, plastic handle), for about half an hour. I finally decided to bite the big one and invest in the Mason Pearson. It is universally reputed as the best hair brush to be had on planet Earth. The was company founded in London by a Yorkshireman named Mason Pearson (bet you didn’t see that coming) in 1885. The boar bristles are either shed bristles collected from the wild in India and China or sourced from the meat industry as they are a by-product of processing farmed boar; you may ask so I will answer and yes, I do eat boar. Mason Pearson is still owned and run by the Pearson family and the Pearson women have always played integral roles in the company. Indeed Mary Pearson was the CEO for the 20 years following the death of her husband, founder Mason, and one of their daughters ran the top floor of the factory on Old Ford Road in London for 50 years. You can purchase a brush with a handcrafted made-to-order wood handle but while I am willing to make the investment in a Mason Pearson brush, I just can’t bring myself to be so self-indulgent as to even send a price inquiry for the wood model. This is where my best friend reminds me of the lengths I went to and the price I paid to obtain a bottle of the finest Irish whiskey in the world to demonstrate that yes, I can be that self-indulgent without much convincing. I just can’t bring myself to do it with a hair brush. I purchased from Pasteur Pharmacy in NYC because they made their bones, if you will, in their early years in the 60s by catering to humans with dogs.

Bed blanket: I just couldn’t bring myself to buy a bamboo blanket/bedspread that costs in the $275 neighborhood when the dogs will be spending at least as much time on it as we will spend under it. So we went with half cotton/half bamboo for a much more reasonable price. The temps here are warm by the thermometer but the air is heavy with humidity (100% yesterday and that doesn’t necessarily mean rain), so when the fans blow it around it can be pretty damn chilly. And the dogs steal the covers.

Clothing: if I need new clothing I will consider bamboo but it’s damned expensive. I was shopping for a second bathing suit recently because I’m at the beach often enough that I need a suit to wear while the other one is drying or waiting to be laundered free of all the salt and sand that didn’t wind up in my ass or under my tits. I always thought that sand-in-uncomfortable-places was a joke, I was very wrong. I spent two hours searching for bamboo or other plant-based sustainable fabric or recycled fabric and found nothing under a hundred bucks. Nothing. Not even a thong bikini (I already have sand up my ass, I don’t need material there as well). I’m not lounging instagrammatically on Waikiki, I’m swimming in 5+ foot surf every weekend at least, so I am not willing to pay that much for a suit intended for plenty of use and punishment. I got a bikini because it will be easier to discreetly rinse most of the sand away before going back up the beach, if you know what I mean and I think you do.

#hippie #eco friendly #zero waste

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pumpfollowers-blog · 5 years ago

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Social Networking - Can Your Company Afford Not to Engage?

Twitter. Facebook. YouTube. When I said these words to you years back you'd have looked like I was mad! The above are sites used to fuel the social networking phenomenon. In the event you aren't aware of how social media websites operate, individuals use these websites to form relationships with other people who share the identical private or professional pursuits. Huge numbers of people are using these websites to stay in contact with their own families and friends.

Now businesses are jumping on the bandwagon and integrating social media sites in their advertising campaigns. Although, social media is relatively new, It's gaining status as a brand new method for businesses to efficiently advertise their products and services Due to the following:

Interactive Cost effective Ability to advertise 24/7 Interactive The most important aim of a marketing effort will be to promote your product or service to your target industry. What better way to attain your target market than in their own turf? Years ago the normal advertising campaign could have consisted of direct mail, print advertising, and in the event that you could afford it TV or radio advertisements. 1 thing each the aforementioned mediums don't do would be to promote involvement. Social networking sites allow you to immediately connect with your target marketplace and get feedback regarding your goods and support. No matter what social networking website your company makes the decision to combine, all of these will allow you to cultivate a closer relationship with your customers-the level in which that is accomplished rests entirely upon your business. Consumers happen to be doing exactly what they planned to perform on these-connect with household and friends-you (businesses ) will be the newest kid on the block so it's all up to you the way you want other people to perceive your new.

A company's goals on how best to incorporate social networking into their marketing and advertising campaigns frequently differ. By way of instance, Beth Bridges, Membership Director of Clovis Chamber of Commerce says that,"Our objective in using social networking is to create a trusted community and to increase awareness of their events within the community. We also use social networking sites to have more personal interaction with members who we might not see at regular networking activities and reach more of the younger business owners in the community who are using social media much more extensively to promote themselves and their businesses."

It's a safe bet that the vast majority of organizations which are new to social media could be enticed to mention their merchandise every five minutes on those sites-it is in your very best interest not to do so. I realize that lots of organizations's most important aim for using social networking sites is to market their merchandise. I am not telling you to leave your objective-just change the method in the way you opt to do so. People today use services and products for various reasons and you won't ever understand some of them in case you don't have the opportunity to nurture a connection with your target industry. Several have been conditioned into believing that firms could care less about their clients so it's up to your own company to prove them erroneous. People who do will benefit from the advantage of faithful clients. These clients will subsequently share your merchandise or service with their loved ones members and friends. It's more successful if you allow your intended market promote your merchandise for you.

Word of mouth is still a significant element in whether customers and businesses buy a service or product. A lot of individuals consult family and friends prior to getting a good or service they've never employed. Folks are constantly asking others for information on services and products on Twitter. Not long ago, I moved Twitter to get opinions on applications I had been contemplating buying and got a reply within minutes. This individual not just commented about the applications I had been contemplating buying but advocated alternative applications which has been cheaper and more powerful. Everybody desires to feel assured about the purchases they make and though they might conduct some research of a good or service (i.e. Consumer Reports) it doesn't carry as much weight as family or friends.

Cultivating a connection will let you keep in front of the competition-provided you're listening to your intended industry. Social networking sites enable you the capability to gauge if you're effectively promoting your product or service to your target industry. Based upon discussions in the forums you've got the capacity to learn what needs aren't being fulfilled and create an agency to satisfy that desire. Social media allows you to detect opportunities.

By way of instance, you have a coffee shop near a college campus and have created an account on a social network website. Pupils are whining about not being able to research during final assessments and the way they enjoy your coffee since it not only tastes great, but helps them stay alert. How can you use this info? A savvy marketer could learn when final exams occur and enlarge their hours so as to satisfy the requirements of the clients. It's a win-win scenario for everybody involved. The pupils have somewhere to study while ingesting your exceptional coffee and you've got the chance to raise your gains while further raising your clients' loyalty to your coffee shop. This opportunity was brought to you by social networking. If your company had not taken the time to interact with your target market using social networking sites your company would have missed out on a golden opportunity to fulfill a need not being met by other coffee shops.

Armed with the knowledge of who you are trying to target, you will be able to determine which of the most popular social networking sites your target market will be found chatting with their family and friends. Although all social networking sites enable you to be interactive, the degree to which you are able to do so is based upon the application you choose. Some of the most popular sites companies are using to advertise their product are as follows:

-Twitter: This is an online micro blog website that integrates with your computer, cell phone and other online social networking sites. Twitter simply asks you,"What do you do?" You are able to share your thoughts (also known as "tweets") provided they are under 140 character restriction. People can choose to "follow" you based upon your tweets.

-Facebook: This website allows users to create customized profiles sharing information, photos, videos etc. and has applications that are designed specifically to their site. Facebook users can see only the profiles of confirmed friends and the people in their networks. Friends can look at each others pages and comment on their "wall" (this is a spot where comments can be viewed by others.

-MySpace: This website allows you to stay in touch with friends and meet new people. You have the ability to add new friends based upon the information posted on your space.

-YouTube: A popular site that allows users to upload and store videos to be shared for private or public viewing. -Brazen Careerist: An online site comprised of Generation-Y (ages18 to 30) that displays blogs written by the community that generates thought provoking discussions.

All of the aforementioned sites will enable you to interact with your target market. Some companies make the mistake of becoming apart of as many social networking sites as possible. As with all things in life-quality will always win out over quantity. Meaning, it is better to invest your time building your relationship with your target market on fewer social networking sites if it means that you are able to truly listen to what is being said and share your industry expertise with those on the site. Joining numerous social networking communities and contributing nothing to them will leave people with the impression that your only there to promote your name and could care less about getting to know them-an impression no business can afford to leave.

Cost effective Companies are always looking to save money and often zero in on marketing expenses (which is the wrong move to make, but that's another article!) . Social networking can be implemented into your organization's marketing campaign because it is free. There is absolutely no reason why companies should not be incorporating social networking into their campaigns. The only investment required from companies is their time. After all if you are not willing to learn more about your target market and how using your product or service benefits them-then why should they (your target market) buy your brand?

Social networking sites save time and are cost effective for both companies and their customers. Companies can use social networking sites to gain instantaneous feedback regarding product launches. You can gauge the success of your launch based upon the comments you see shared online. Some companies are even starting to handle their customer complaints on social networking sites. This is a great medium to handle your complaints. People want their issues resolved accurately and quickly-what better way to do so than on their terms? Your customers are more at ease because they are doing something they already enjoy networking with those who share similar interests, family, friends, etc.. It is more expensive for companies to attract customers than to retain them, so it is imperative that companies maintain a delicate balance.

Twitter is one of the most popular social networking sites for businesses. Zappos, the world's largest online shoe retailer, is an excellent example of how companies should use social networking sites. Zappos is constantly being recognized for providing quality customer service. Tony Hsieh, CEO of Zappos, along with his employees use Twitter to interact with customers, handle service issues and monitoring comments being made about their company. Comcast and Dell also have customer service people on Twitter who search for and address complaints online. Companies are always searching for fast, accurate, and cost effective methods used to monitor their brand and social networking sites enable you to accomplish these goals.

Ability to market 24/7 In today's fast paced world there are many people who do not log online during"regular" business hours. In fact, many times people log on these sites during unconventional business hours to connect with family and friends (i.e. friends and family overseas). Social networking sites enable you to continuously market your product or service even when you are not online. The time you have spent in cultivating your relationship with your target market will be evident. Companies who have built great relationships with their customers can rest assure that their customers will continue to "spread the word" about your product or service when your not online.

The aforementioned reasons demonstrate why social networking is an effective marketing technique. Some companies feel that social networking is even more effective than"conventional" marketing techniques (i.e. print advertising, direct mail, etc.). Holly Homer, Founder and Editor of BurbMom.net which is a website for moms in the North Dallas/Fort Worth area rely solely on social networking sites. "We started out with a marketing budget . I wished to see just how far we can get by simply doing absolutely free things. Our site has been online for 3 weeks and last month we had more than 4800 hits-over 60% of these were local. One hundred neighborhood mothers have united our online social networking. We haven't spent a dime on advertising. I truly don't believe we could have achieved this much in this short timeframe during conventional advertising with cash."

Bridges said,"Social media is absolutely more successful in reaching people that are using social networking compared to conventional tools-they will pay more attention to some message, email, or posting from you in the event that you've established a connection together. By following you (or connecting for you, linking your group, etc.) they're requesting you to keep them educated, unlike a random postcard mailing or newspaper advertisement."

Companies can't afford to discount social media simply as it's a relatively new advertising strategy. Businesses which don't take part in social websites are overlooking chances to socialize with their clients while concurrently saving money. Social networking requires your own organization's energy and time to cultivate relationships with your target market which will go along way in boosting loyalty for your brand. In the present market, social media is the 1 investment you can expect to see a return. Read more information click เพิ่มไลค์

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bray-and-miss-skopalova · 7 years ago

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make it or break it: a Short Guide For Circus Performers

Being a professional performer for more than 7 years hasn't been a walk in the park, it's taken more than just a being able to throw a couple of tricks and cool moves. As an aerialist, I believe I've put my body through a lot, including pain, fatigue and a continuous muscle wear and of course from time to time little injuries here and there.

The more experienced I get the more I learn from the showbiz and how every decision I make can, in fact, influence my career, the industry and other performers as well. I've learned a few rules to "make it or break" it including looking after your body, your image and the longevity of the circus and entertainment industry. Today I'd like to put my tips on the table hoping it is a great help for you as it has been for me. Let's all work together to keep the circus industry strong and alive for years to come!

Wearing the Shirt

I often wonder what people think when they ask me anything related to what I do for a living. Some common questions I hear are, "do you train every day?" or "what do you do to have a body like that?". I guess people can see me "wearing the shirt". Well, I do train mostly every day and I do try to look my best because I have an unusual job that requires me to be fit and strong.

This career, unlike other professions, can be somewhat more demanding on the body. I wouldn't be able to be the performer I am if I was out of shape, and I'm sure that producers would not hire me over a better looking talented young man. It is simple, would you trust someone who is not a doctor to prescribe you medication? Would you hire a fat personal trainer to get you in shape? I bet you probably wouldn't trust them. Well, shouldn't us aerialists/performers look the part and be the complete package?

In this field, I consider that looking good and healthy is just not an option but a lifestyle itself. Taking care of our bodies should be something to embrace while we are under the spotlight. Each performer can be different according to the discipline they carry out but in my opinion, professional performers must undergo a similar training regimen to an elite athlete. As such, finding the balance between training at gym/pilates studio etc and training at circus school is like going to the market to get all the groceries you need for a great meal. Learning a new trick or move should be equally proportional to know how our body works and how to maintain it over time. If you don't have an all-encompassing training program then you will predispose yourself to injury either now or years down the track.

Don't misunderstand what I'm trying to say here, to me "wearing the shirt" means being fit, healthy and strong, not necessarily being hunky and ripped - unless you desire so, but an aerialist should be capable of carrying out an exercise program to match their stage demands.

Professionals don't work for free

How long do you think you can go without having a regular job that deposits to your account weekly, fortnightly or monthly? A Job that covers your health insurance, gives you paid holidays annually, offers you bonuses at the end of the year for your great development and where you can save enough money for your retirement? Does it sound like an exaggeration? the truth is, this is the reality of many performers; actors, singers, musicians, dancers, and acrobats.

Many of us struggle at some point in our careers with being employed full-time for long periods or juggling many jobs at a time. The opportunities to find a job in the showbiz that provides acceptable conditions e.g accommodation, per deems, salary, travel expenses, visas etc are very random and scarce compared with the many performers looking for a job out there. If you are not sure you could survive to similar conditions, perhaps this job is not meant for you.

When we decide to become a professional full-time performer/aerialist we basically make the biggest jump into the unknown sacrificing privileges for dreams. We sometimes leave our homes, our families, give up all our time, are constantly looking for new jobs, give up public holidays to entertain others or train for the next gig. Many emerging performers don't understand the importance keeping the business healthy and profitable for everyone. Industries nowadays tend to abuse performers with a click of the fingers, especially the talented newcomers. There is the promise of a little fame, media exposure or a means to upgrade "your resume" when you are simply getting offered a shitty deal and being taken advantage of. They want our time, out talent, our hard work and our prestige for free.

A PROFESSIONAL KNOWS THEIR VALUE AND SHOULD NEVER ACCEPT TO DO A JOB FOR FREE OR PEANUTS!

If you perhaps are just starting, ask yourself what would be a reasonable fee for your services, if you are not sure, always ask someone that knows and works in the market.

Know your market and quote appropiately

Working with an agent can be the best route to getting booked as long as you have a good one. Today, it is easy for anyone to pass you a job and call themselves "agents" when all they do is take a 10% sometimes 15% cut from you and leave you stranded afterward.

Few performers I know work with agents and they seem not to have a problem at all. We have decided to represent ourselves as it has been difficult to find an honest and hardworking agent to represent us for the past years. In my opinion, an agent should be dedicated to find performers a job and be willing to continue the relationship by consistently showing interest in promoting the artist's skills. Otherwise, a website can do the same job, and it won't cost you 10% from every gig. So, don't be afraid of going solo, ask for advice when not sure about quoting to other performers and learn how to negotiate. You may find that performers with some experience can help you save some hassle.

Some leading entertainment industries like cruises and holiday resorts per instance started to drop the salary offers not long ago due to the increase of pop up performers willing to accept a low budget offer. The issue concerns to some agents not taking care of the longevity of the industry and allowing this exploitation to take place.

For example, my partner Skopalova is from Australia and I am from Mexico so I could not think of Mexican currency when I am trying to quote for a job in Australia as it wouldn't be appropriate. Likewise, if we are quoting for a job in Europe then we need to know the market in Europe. How would you feel if you quote of a job and when you arrive you find that you could've got 4 times more because you didn't know the market?

Remember when you are quoting you are not only quoting for your 5 minutes on stage, you have to take into account rehearsals that are often unpaid, as well as your time for the creation and your costume costs. Bear in mind, the short or long breaks in between contracts when you are off (unemployed) and looking for work, there is also no holiday/sick pay or all these other advantages that other people get with a regular job.

professonalism is not only about talent

here is been an increase in the number of aspiring performers over the last years that today it is really easy to find anyone today who would say "I'm a Circus Performer". Before continuing, I want to make a personal comment in regards to the seriousness of being a circus performer/aerialist. I have noticed an early trend among some communities like the aero-yoga, the acro-yoga the pole dance/aerial studios and similar disciplines who started to pop up on circus advertising pages and social media like " available for bookings" I must say I've been disappointed when I see the pictures they use to promote themselves. Poor quality images, bad costume designs (when they have one) zero intent to look professional- just to clarify, a picture practicing at the park, in your backyard or in training clothes is simply not acceptable.

If you are serious about being a professional bookable aerialist and want to get into the business, please help everyone make the business better by asking yourself if what you are offering meets the professional standards. Some examples are; creativity, costume quality, originality, music, style, presentation, and props

There are 2 options

1. Do your best to offer a complete and polished service

2. Do not sell your services as professional until you are ready

I have made a checklist which I consider to be some of the basic understandings that a circus/aerial performer should have if he/she considers themselves a pro. Let's see if you have got some of them already!

1. Are you schooled or self-taught?

Whether you attended a circus school or whether you were a dancer, gymnast or athlete who is transitioning into the circus showbiz there is always a little something that we are not so good at. Ask yourself the following: How is my dancing skills? How is my acting skills? How is my circus skills? Practice makes the master, no doubt but every now and then the assistance of a professional in other fields can be handy. Getting advice from a gymnastics coach, choreographer, stage director could be a good start if you really want to advance your skill-set.

My partner Skopalova and I have a few reliant coaches that we like to use for every aspect of our acts. For choreography, we have used the expertise of Natalya Bobenko who has helped us style our "Fetish Adagio" act and "Frankie & Johnny". Jorge Meneces from Mexico who choreographed our wedding act "Close to my Fire". Dana Jolly renowned choreographer of many large-scale musicals has choreographed almost all of Miss SKopalova's solo acts.

Simon P Storey is a friend of ours and a former ballet dancer from Royal Ballet and acro-gymnastics coach who helps us master new adagio tricks from his years of experience. Daniel Power and Leilisha Marning have been great influences in Miss Skopalova's aerial training and former NICA trainer Arturo Gomez an Argentinian traditional circus performer born into the circus has taught Miss Skopalova the tricks of the trade with her Hula Hoops.

2. Do you have a bookable act?

Creating an act can be the easiest part, you pick a song, draft a storyline, put your tricks together and voila! However, a good way to know whether your act is ready or not to be booked is asking yourself the following questions:

Would I pay to see my act?

Roving, corporates, and nightclubs operate completely different to a stage show. If you work in any of these environments bare in mind that the audience you are performing for is not the same as in a theater or variety show where each person has paid for their entertainment ticket and they are often seasoned viewers with an interest in the arts. A theater audience is usually there not just for the drinks and the party, they want to see talented performer! Therefore, try to be meticulous when creating a stage act and ask yourself if you would pay X amount to come and see your show.

Do I have professional/acceptable advertising material?

The next step is getting your talent in print. Organising a photo shoot can result in an extra expense but it is totally worth it. Having an amazing creation without advertising material is like having money in the bank and not being able to use it. In the past, my partner and I have created a new act for which advertising material isn't available yet, and it is really hard to talk to a producer when I can't provide a video or pictures of it.

Important: Do not use training footage, or cellphones pictures unless requested to promote your creation. The poor quality material will only depict you negatively and devalue your trustworthiness. Would you hire someone who sends you a video of their act in the park or in the backyard? Think ab

3. Do you have a website?

This one to me is one of the most important nowadays. I have to tell you that unfortunately I have worked with some of the top world-class circus performers and when I enquire about their site, they sadly don't own one. A few performers from an earlier older generation still prefer the old fashion face-to-face meeting than using the advantages of modern day's tech. The old business card system is still one of the classic methods to networking but in my opinion, a website has more potential and can have a wider reach.

In our case, we have had more emails enquiries and proposals thanks to our website than I have had with our business cards. Our website does not only help us showcase our best work and with extensive features available on even basic web platforms you can give your website a cool edge to match your performance style. Our website has given us presence on the web as Bray and Skopalova worldwide.

Important: my advice if you are not great with computers, look for an affordable website designer.

4. Do you have a costume design?

Some artists being the creative humans they are, make their own very elaborate costumes. However, if sewing is not your thing or you simply prefer to focus on your training then look for a costume designer with experience making for acrobats or dancers so they have good experience working with stretch fabrics and an eye for what stands out on stage. A great costume designer should consider which styles will best showcase your body shape and choose the right colours to suit your complexion.

My partner Skopalova and I have been loyally devoted to our costume designer Tamara Keane, not only is she able to visualize our ideas but she is also very creative and always has some valuable input when it comes to the final draft. Tamara not only works with individual artists but has many years experience with Ministry of Dance and Draculas Cabaret Melbourne.

Obviously, different costume styles suit different types of performers in different settings but always make sure your costume makes you stand out without distracting from your performance or make you look a member of the audience ie ordinary jeans and a t-shirt is not a costume!

Now that you've been through the checklist I hope you found at least one or two pointers helpful and relatable for yourself. Obviously, there are many factors to being a performer all of which can't be covered in this guide but these were I few points I wanted to share.

"Everyone can have a slice of the cake if we all play it right"

#Entertainment #circus #Performers #Bray and Skopalova #CircusLife

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junker-town · 7 years ago

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Tom Brady’s social media might not be as masterminded as I once thought

Some internet sleuthing leads to some interesting discoveries.

Happy New Year! Let’s start things off right in 2018: With a far-too-in-depth analysis of the latest edition of Tom Brady’s fake newspaper.

The Patriots beat the Jets yesterday in one of the more stupid games of football I’ve ever watched. The Jets were hopeless, the Patriots were definitely in the playoffs already (though they did clinch the No. 1 seed with yesterday’s win), it was approximately zero degrees in Foxboro, and the ground was as frozen as Bill Belichick’s heart when he trades away a beloved player.

Speaking of Belichick, I must interrupt myself for a moment to talk about how New England’s head coach had thermometers put up in the away team’s tunnel so the Jets would know exactly how cold it was as they waited to run out onto the field. Talk about psyching out your opponent: That is some Jedi Mind Trick stuff (am I using that phrase right? I haven’t seen Star Wars lol)! Belichick also casually strolled out onto the field before the game wearing only shorts and a tee-shirt, because when ice already runs through your veins, you can’t get frostbite.

Perhaps it’s because I’m a Patriots fan, but seeing those photos got me so amped up I wanted to go kick down a door. My ultimate pump-up song, it turns out, is less a song and more an image of a 65-year-old man being extremely foolish.

But back to the matter at hand: Brady’s latest cartoon. Here it is:

A post shared by Tom Brady (@tombrady) on Dec 31, 2017 at 1:15pm PST

On Christmas Eve, the TB Times gave us a straight-forward, Santa-themed image, and the New Year’s Eve cartoon is similarly simple. Each picture is only one panel as opposed to a comic strip, and both pertain to the holiday at hand. Here, you can see Brady near a “Happy New Year” banner in Patriots’ colors as he pins a 2018 calendar to the wall. He says, “Well I guess I’ll...see ya next year!” (which is a good dad joke, and also exactly what I said at 10:30 on New Year’s Eve before I went home and climbed into bed, because I am washed).

However, things get slightly more confusing when you look to Brady’s left (our right) and see a sad-looking man in a green shirt sitting at a table near a bunch of Jets paraphernalia. At first, I thought this guy might be a character from Office Space, because someone tweeted a picture of Bill Lumbergh at me and suggested that Brady is supposed to be Lumbergh:

It’s a good idea, especially since all the movies the TB Times has referenced feature actors named Bill (from the Patriots’ win against Buffalo) or are from the mid 2000s — the formative years of people now in their twenties who maybe work in sports social media.

But the reports that Lumbergh always asked for were of the TPS variety, not performance, as the whiteboard in this image says. And Brady is not wearing suspenders or a tie in the TB Times, nor is he holding a mug. Also, I’m not sure Lumbergh is someone you want to compare Tom Brady to.

However, where the Office Space theory really falls apart is when you look more closely at the Sad Jets Fan. He doesn’t bear resemblance to any of the actors in the movie.

This is because he isn’t one.

Yes, folks, through some serious internet sleuthing, I discovered that this Sad Jets Fan is a 20-something guy named Jeff who seems to know the people making these TB Times images. In an Instagram direct message, Jeff confirmed that it was him. When I asked why he was featured here, he simply said, “I guess because I’m a sad Jets fan who works in an office?” I then said, “That is a very legit reason ... is that the most you’re going to tell me?” And he stopped answering me.

Other sources close to the matter would neither confirm nor deny that including Jeff in this picture is a shout-out to someone they know. But more creeping around the internet leaves me pretty confident that it is.

With the Sad Jets Fan figured out, the second thing I wanted to know was, per usual: Where is Croc? Croc is the recurring reptile of many disguises who appears in every TB Times, even when you think he doesn’t. He was hidden in the snow in the the post after the Denver game, and in the moon (I think) in the Christmas image.

At first, I once again couldn’t find Croc anywhere in this one: I looked at the inspirational “teamwork” poster on the wall. No Croc. I zoomed in on the paperwork near Jeff. No Croc. I checked the calendar, the ceiling tiles, the water bubbler. No Croc.

And then my friend Jenny Vrentas, a writer at Sports Illustrated, told me she zoomed in on Tom Brady’s face and thought Croc might be depicted in his eyebrow hairs. I immediately followed suit.

Lo-and-behold, I think Jenny is right:

Jenny, thank you. I’m so glad the greater sportswriting community is becoming as invested in solving this mystery as I am. Your support means the world.

Last week, I told you that the narrative seems to have stalled out. Unfortunately, it doesn’t appear to have continued yet. We once again don’t have any recurring characters — such as the hot tub salesman from the first Jets cartoon — or many threads to pull at. I don’t know whether this was supposed to throw us off the trail, or give D.K. (the artist) and S.M.G. (Social Media Guy) a break from crafting intricate scenes over the holidays. Once we get back into the groove I’ll go into more depth as to the theory that perhaps the images haven’t been in chronological order. Until we get the next chapter I can’t be sure.

Honestly, though, at this point I can’t be sure of anything. This week’s inclusion of Jeff bummed me out, because it hinted that the creators of these comics are willing to use their social media and artistic power to put people they know in prominent positions in the images. Casually dropping someone you know into a TB Times image makes me wonder how considered this unfolding story really is. Perhaps the TB12 team really is just messing with all of us (read: me, mostly) and sending us (again: me, mostly) down rabbit holes we think lead somewhere when we (yup: me, mostly) are, in fact, just chasing our tails.

There has also, for what it’s worth, been no update to the website tbtimes.org, so I’m a little worried maybe they don’t know what they’re doing there, either.

If I were a betting woman, I’d put money on the theory that the TB Times will only come to a satisfying conclusion if the Pats win the Super Bowl. I’m starting to think the search for the architectural plans of a giant laser in a safe under the sea might end up leading to the Lombardi Trophy. That seems like something outrageously confident enough for Brady — or his social media team — to do.

In other news, you know how Instagram has an algorithm for the order in which it shows you people who look at your stories? The app knows to list followers you’ve been creeping on — or who you suspect have been creeping on you — in the order it thinks you care about them. This is because the robots are storing up valuable information to one day rise up and kill us all. I’m confident that the end will begin with an Instagram comment that simply says, “I am not a robot lol hahahaha yes I am BUCKLE UP YOU WEAK HUMAN NERDS!!!”

I’m telling you this because I check Tom Brady’s Instagram so often that when I hit the search tab, he pops up before I even type anything. He is my No. 1 most-viewed account. I’m pretty sure that if he ever looked at my Instagram story, my phone would implode in on itself out of Instagram excitement normally reserved for the most serious of crushes.

Anyway, here’s hoping the next TB Times post gives us more clues as to what’s going on here and who Croc could possibly be. Fingers crossed that we’re careening towards a story that makes sense. If we aren’t, and all of this turns out to mean absolutely nothing, I will march out onto the field at Gillette in a cut-off sweatshirt and cut-off sweatpants in the middle of winter to scream, “JIMMY GAROPPOLO’S FAKE NEWSPAPER’S CARTOONS WOULD’VE BEEN CONCLUSIVE!”

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ronaldmrashid · 7 years ago

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Focus On Trends: Why I’m Investing In The Heartland Of America

Making a small fortune is really fun. You can do so more easily if you can correctly predict a trend. Not only will you earn a much higher return on your investment, you’ll also suffer less anxiety and grief.

In 1997, I studied abroad in China for six months and realized its economy was on the verge of explosive growth. So I minored in Mandarin and joined the Asian Equities department at a major investment bank to ride the opening up of the region. I was probably the dumbest donkey in the industry, but being Asian, knowing how to speak Mandarin, and having the good sense to hustle for 13 years was good enough for me to retire at the age of 34.

By 2001, after the dotcom bubble burst, it was clear the public’s love affair with the stock market was over. So I shifted the majority of my wealth from stocks to real estate and witnessed SF property prices soar while stocks languished for a decade. Of course, I screwed myself in 2007 by buying a vacation property in Lake Tahoe right before the housing collapse, but the exposure wasn’t large enough to cause me mortal damage.

During the financial crisis, I realized it was now or never to start a website to at least try and take advantage of web 2.0. I had no plan. All I knew was my happy days were numbered due to a structural decline in the banking industry. Increased regulation and narrowing spreads made work less fun. Eight years later, Financial Samurai is now an established brand in the personal finance space that’s generating a healthy income.

So what’s the next trend already? In my opinion, the next money making trend is investing in the heartland of America through real estate crowdfunding. To escape high prices in the coastal cities, people — often younger and with lower- or middle-class incomes — are looking toward the Inland Empire and nearby states for additional square footage and a lower mortgage payment. With technology enabling geo-arbitrage, the opportunity is ripe for investment!

Investing In The Heartland Of America

Do you know who is guaranteed to lose their job in 2017? Hopefully none of you loyal Financial Samurai readers who don’t let your personal political views cloud your financial goals.

The people who need to find new jobs this year are the approximate 7,000 staffers appointed to U.S. government positions by President Obama’s team. For example, Obama-appointed James Comey, Director of the FBI got fired by Donald Trump on May 9, 2017 so he can install his own man. That’s just the way it is as President Trump takes reign for the next four years and chooses his own people.

Power is ephemeral, which is why in order to promote government harmony, the Hatch Act of 1939 restricts the political activities of Federal employees. Basically, the Act says: Don’t bring your politics to the office.

While the private sector operates without a similar Hatch Act restriction, common sense says it’s still better not to go crazy if your boss has a different political point of view.

The uncertainty of power is why large corporations donate to both political parties every year. They are hedging their bets. Money curries favor from politicians who need money to win and stay in power. Even if you donated $1,000,000 to Hillary, you’re not screwed if you also donated $1,000,000 to Ivanka’s charity of choice; Donald should still be willing to take your phone call.

Who Else Wins Or Loses?

Now that we know from a personnel level who the winners and losers are of a Trump victory, let’s take a look at the election results from a macro level.

The below chart is the final electoral college tally. As you can see from the map, the losers are California, Oregon, Washington, Nevada, Colorado, New Mexico, Minnesota, Illinois, New Hampshire, Vermont, New York, Maine, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Connecticut, New Jersey, Delaware, Maryland, Washington D.C. and Hawaii.

The winners are obviously those states in red.

Blue states are losers for the next 4 years at least

Now let’s drill down to the election results by county. Not every county in every losing state voted for Hillary. For example, just eyeball California on the map below and you will see the state is pretty divided. But given we have a winner take all system, Hillary was able to gain all 55 of California’s electoral votes.

The real shock from the county-level results is how much of a landslide it was for Trump. If you were just listening to the mass media, you would have been lead to believe the outcome was much more balanced. But as we know, the mass media and firms like Facebook and Twitter lean left. Therefore, you’ve got to constantly be aware of potential bias and think for yourself.

You might now be wondering, how can there be such a county-level landslide victory for Trump when Hillary won the popular vote by close to 2.9 million? The answer simply lies in demographics.

About half of the U.S. population lives in the blue areas seen below, and the other half of the population lives in the gray areas. Folks in the blue areas underestimated the desire of folks living in the gray areas to want something other than a career politician. With globalization, a lot of people living in the gray areas have not been able to take advantage of the economic boom.

Half the country lives in the blue areas, the other half of the country lives in the grey areas

Facing Reality

Now that we know the basics of what’s going on, it’s important to face the reality that you are a loser if you live in one of the losing counties or states in America.

I’ve lived in San Francisco for 16 years, have property in Hawaii, and want to return to Hawaii permanently within the next 5 years to live the dream life.

Therefore, under the Trump presidency, I am a DOUBLE LOSER, whether I supported him or not. But since I believe the government is inefficient and filled with corrupt politicians from both parties who practice crony capitalism, I’m all about facing reality and finding solutions to building greater wealth so I never have to depend on the government.

San Francisco is a “sanctuary city,” i.e. a city that has adopted a policy of protecting undocumented immigrants by not prosecuting them solely for violating the federal immigration laws of the country they are now living in illegally. Obviously, this is a hot topic since struggling U.S. citizens are understandably upset with illegal immigrants who occupy jobs or coveted spots at great universities. On the other hand, except for felons, how can we be so cruel and deport people who came to America as children and have the potential to become great contributing citizens?

San Francisco receives about $1 billion annually from the federal government. If I was an illegal immigrant, of course I’d choose a sanctuary city to set up roots. As there are 41 sanctuary cities in America today, you yourself may be living in a losing sanctuary city.

If President Trump takes some or all of that $1 billion funding away, all San Francisco residents will lose because we’ll all be forced to pay higher taxes to help fund our inefficient city government and its underfunded pension system. Higher taxes will result in less consumer spending, less corporate spending, less hiring and a slowdown in growth. A loss of sanctuary status also means potentially less supply of labor for lower paying jobs.

A list of sanctuary cities in America which may lose funding under a Trump Presidency

One solution for those who live in one of the 41 sanctuary cities is to just relocate to one of the winning counties/states. It’s clear that Donald will try to take care of the states that backed his campaign. He’s been incredibly vocal about punishing American companies that set up factories abroad and sell those products in America. But given I’ve got friends and property in San Francisco, uprooting my life is not that easy.

Hence, the obvious solution is to accept my situation and instead move CAPITAL towards America’s most favorable cities and states instead.

The Easiest Way To Move Capital To Winning Cities, Counties And States

An easy way to invest in a Trump Presidency is to look at the sectors that should benefit from his victory. These winning sectors include biotech, banks, energy, infrastructure and defense. The idea is that less regulation and more government spending should be a boon for these five industries. We’ve seen these sectors perform quite well since the election victory. They could potentially continue to outperform if earnings surprise on the upside.

The other way to invest in Donald’s America is to fly around the country and invest in commercial or residential properties. The problem with this method is that it’s not only inefficient, it requires a lot of capital and a ton of follow-on maintenance once a property is purchased.

Under the Trump regime, these counties in the most expensive parts of the country are net losers, especially after reducing mortgage interest deduction and state income tax deduction

Instead of flying all around the country investing in locations where I have zero expertise, the simple solution is to leverage real estate crowdsourcing platforms like RealtyShares to search for investments in Trump’s America instead. They enable investors looking to diversify into real estate to invest as little as $5,000 – $10,000 into various pre-vetted deals around the country.

Here’s a snapshot of some exited deals on RealtyShares. All deals had successful returns, and all deals except for the New Jersey deal qualify as an investment in Trump’s America.

Investing in the heartland of America made easy

There are plenty more deals in the pipeline each month that usually have only $5,000 minimum investment requirements. That’s much more affordable than having to fly to Newnan, Georgia to poke at some sheetrock before making a much larger cash investment.

Every project is different, so spend time reading the research each sponsor puts together on the platform before making a decision.

For those of you who want to just have a fund manager invest in the heartland for you, Fundrise created a Heartland eREIT that specifically focuses on the middle regions of America.

Take Advantage Of The Trend

Blue state real estate prices exploded over the past eight years with Obama in office. With his term now over, the good times must wait until the next wave of mega IPOs and hungry foreign investors enrich tens of thousands of lucky blue denizens again.

Top 5 fastest growing real estate markets due to income growth. Source: Forbes and Local Monitor

Good investors always think about secular changes, regardless of where they stand on the political spectrum. Thus, I believe Red state real estate should outperform over the next 4+ years because:

A Republican president will give back to the people who got him there through the theme, “Hire American, Buy American.”

There will be a net migration out of Blue states into Red states as more people realize it’s a great deal living in Texas if you can get 3X as much for 1/3rd the price.

As our country gets older, more retirees will move out of Blue states to stretch their retirement dollar.

The remote work trend will continue due to technology and a tight labor market.

Sanctuary cities are at risk of seeing their federal funding pulled and reallocated to Red cities.

Income growth should be higher in Red states due to demographic shifts.

Trump’s tax plan calls for an elimination of State and property tax deductions, hitting California, New York and New Jersey the hardest, while benefitting cheaper states with no state income taxes to deduct e.g. Texas.

Now that investing in real estate is more efficient, Red State 10%+ cap rates compared to <4% cap rates in Blue cities are too hard to ignore. The spread should narrow.

A potential expansion of who can invest in real estate crowdsourcing will lead to an increase in demand and prices.

The rise of real estate crowdsourcing platforms increases the supply of capital, thereby increasing the demand and prices of previously hard to tap investments.

Update 2018: The latest Republican tax plan calls for reducing the mortgage interest deduction to $500,000 from $1,000,000, limit property tax deductions to $10,000, and remove state income tax deductions. As a result, California, New Jersey, and New York get hit the most while heartland states with no state income taxes like Texas, benefit the most.

States that hurt the most from State and Local Tax (SALT) deduction elimination

I’ve currently allocated $250,000 with RealtyShares in order to diversify my real estate exposure to less expensive parts of the country. The goal is to seek a 8% – 15% annual return. If all goes well into 2018, I plan to increase my allocation to $500,000 with exposure to roughly 20 different properties in order to generate $40,000 – $75,000 a year in returns.

The post Focus On Trends: Why I’m Investing In The Heartland Of America appeared first on Financial Samurai.

from https://www.financialsamurai.com/focus-on-investment-trends-why-im-investing-in-the-heartland-of-america/

#Financial Samurai

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harolddetective · 7 years ago

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APB Email Archive Update

November 5, 2017

Now, I am happy to announce that I am ready to get back to our regularly scheduled programming…and just in time for NaNoWriMo! I hope the time change allowed you to sneak an extra hour of writing time in, even if you aren’t participating in National Novel Writing Month.

CHARACTER: OLD SCHOOL BEAT COPS The LA Times ran an article yesterday on a pair of LAPD Officers that have been partners for an unbelievable twenty-nine years! The guys seem to be right out of a Joseph Wambaugh novel. Like any good marriage, the key to their resiliency is that they operate like a well tuned machine. Each partner has his own strengths (and I’m sure weaknesses as well) and they know which part to play and when. If you are writing a Cop/Buddy Story, you will enjoy this article.

WRITING TIP OF THE WEEK: LEVEL UP YOUR DIALOGUE I am a fan of both Reddit and Quora. If you’ve been living under a boulder of old AOL Installation CDs, they are websites every author should add to his or her research toolbox. While Reddit and Quora are quite different sites, they are both great places to learn about nearly any topic you can dream up. This week, I was reading the Quora thread: What one tip changed your writing forever? Christopher Kingery shared a tip for writing dialogue that is a must-read. It is so simple and it’s something that all of my favorite authors do…yet I never really thought about it. (Are you a Redditor or Quora User? Add me as a friend on Reddit and Quora!)

SOME OTHER COP’S BLOG: The Salty Sarge I discovered thesaltysarge.com blog this week and the post “Why Cops Retire Before You” is absolutely spot on. To gain even more insight into the lives of cops in the later stages or their careers, scroll through the comments at the bottom of the post. This is good background on the mentality of any Mentor type characters you might write about.

Good luck hitting your NaNoWriMo word counts and remember that any questions you have can be posted in the WRITERSDETECTIVE Q&A group on Facebook…even if you aren’t a NaNo’er. It’s a very supportive group and I try to answer your questions as quickly as I can.

October 3, 2017

Thank you for continuing to open my emails, even though it’s been awhile. I buried my best friend today. He was only 46. Last month, I lost my uncle. A few weeks before that, my beloved 12-year old German Shepherd passed away peacefully with his head resting on my foot. The month before that, my Mentor died in a car wreck.

Right now, I am grieving.

But I will get through this. I will be back to publishing my weekly APBs soon. Thank you for your understanding and support. In the meantime, keep writing and do not hesitate to email me with any crime-writing questions you think I can help you with.

Write well and love one another, Adam

June 17, 2017

First, thanks to those of you that offered your condolences regarding my mentor passing away. I really appreciate your kind thoughts. It’s another reminder that whatever time we get is luck and we should all tell our loved ones how we feel…often.

If you choose to go this route, the American Board of Forensic Odontology created a Bitemark Methodology Standards and Guidelines document that you may find incredibly helpful. This guide covers bitemark analytical methods, related terminology, collecting Bite Site evidence, collecting a suspect’s dentition, preferred formatting for the Odontologist’s analytical reports, exemplar comparison methods, the best practices for describing whether a suspect’s teeth could have made the bitemark in question, and even a sample layout of what the final investigative report should look like.

It’s easy to read and it’s only eleven pages long. I have no doubt you’ll be able to use this document to create believable dialog for your Forensic Odontologist, whether it’s explaining facts to an investigator or testifying as a witness in court. While you’re on the ABFO.org page, you might take a quick look at the Member Directory to see if any Members work near you. I’d be willing to bet any one of these Forensic Odontologists would be willing to talk shop to a writer interested in this fascinating niche.

WHAT I’M READING THIS WEEK: DEAD BODY STUFF…BUT FUNNY A good friend of mine, who also happens to be a super smart and talented Psychologist that works with my agency, recommended the book I am reading this week:

Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers* by Mary Roach.

I’m not sure if the Doc profiled me as being psychologically disturbed or that we share the same skewed sense of humor. Either way, it was a brilliant recommendation.

Just like cops, most crime writers seem to share a certain degree of gallows humor. If this describes you, you will LOVE this book. It is packed full of answers to your dead body questions, peppered with hilarious observations that make this a quick, funny, and useful reference tome that every serious crime writer should read.

If you need answers to serious plot quandaries, such as the stages of a body’s biological and chemical decomposition phases or the timelines associated with each…but you’d prefer it explained in a way that sounds like you’re listening to a friend telling stories over drinks (rather than a dry medical school textbook,) then this is the book for you.

Here’s a sample passage from the Stiff*: [Context: Mary is visiting the University of Tennessee’s Anthropological Research Facility in Knoxville where human decomposition is studied.] “So the gas builds up and the belly bloats. He explains that the small intestine has pretty much collapsed and sealed itself off…Though he allows, with some prodding, that a little bad air often does, in fact, slip out, and so, as a matter of record, it can be said that dead people fart. It needn’t be, but it can.”

Mary also writes about the mental techniques first-year medical students use to get over the natural tendency to get grossed out by their cadavers. Any character of yours that routinely attends or partakes in autopsies will have developed “objectification techniques” like what is mentioned in this book.

If the mere thought of dead bodies and decay gets you squeamish, you might want to reconsider my suggestion, but I really do think you should give it a try. There are ZERO gross pictures, so you don’t need to worry about seeing any gore.

I will be traveling through various parts of England and Scotland in the upcoming weeks. If you want to keep tabs on what I’m up to, follow me on Instagram: @writersdetctive (DISCLAIMER: It is entirely possible the photos will be nothing but the pubs, ales, and wee drams of whisky I find. So no promises that the photos will be any good.

June 12, 2017

It’s been a rough weekend. One of my mentors died in a car crash this weekend. He was incredibly sharp and an A-Type through-and-through. He always demanded the best work out of his detectives, but he also made sure we had fun on and off duty. I blame him for my love of Rum & Cokes. Regrettably, we lost touch after his retirement a few years ago. Rest in Peace.

If there is one writing-related thing I can share about this, its the way cops have a tendency to detach using an out-of-sight-out-of-mind coping mechanism. It’s not that we don’t care or that we aren’t thinking about our former Brothers and Sisters in Blue; we just spend our emotional effort on those that we are working with (and watching the backs of) currently. We are also notoriously bad at acknowledging and dealing with negative emotions, other than to lock them away for another day.

It starts at the beginning. When a Recruit is fired from the Police Academy, the Academy Class does not get to say goodbye. The Recruit is called to the office and that’s the last you see or hear of the Recruit. When the class comes back into the classroom after PT or a defensive tactics course, the fired Recruit’s belongings are gone and his name placard has been removed from his seat and pinned upside down to the wall at the back of the classroom (along with the name placards of other former classmates.)

The lesson is clear: You’re either in or out. The work still goes on. That persists through the rest of a cop’s career. There is a saying “SWAT-OR-NOT.” Many officers will be part of a SWAT team at some point in their career. SWAT is for the young and motivated. Which means there are a ton of former-SWAT operators full of “When I was on the Team…” war stories. SWAT-or-NOT means if you aren’t on the team now, you aren’t SWAT anymore (so shut it.) In or out. So when an officer retires from the Department, it can feel like going through an amicable divorce. Sure, we all say we’ll still be friends and keep in touch…but only your closest friends will actually follow through. It’s a weird and sad phenomena. So if your characters are “ex-cops” that have turned into a P.I., expect that they may be forgotten rather quickly no matter how awesome they were. In or out.

CHARACTER: THE SPOUSE There is no tougher rock than the spouse of a cop. “10 Tips for a Police Spouse” was written by the wife of an Australian Police Officer. Every single bullet point translates to police work anywhere in the world. This brief glimpse into a Police Family’s life is worth the read, as it may give you insight into an often overlooked character in your story. It may also offer you a chance to skew the way your detective character is viewed and/or add additional conflict and chaos to the detective’s life. Regardless of whether the cop catches the murderer or saves the kidnap victim, the spouse may be seeing that same cop as the absentee-parent or an aloof workaholic who fails to prioritize his or her marriage.

STORY: CASE COORDINATION? If your Detective is undercover as an arms dealer trying to lure in potential lone-wolf terrorists, how will s/he make sure the “clients” aren’t also undercover cops trying to run their own arms-dealing investigation? Or drug dealing? Or murder-for-hire? The answer is to have a deconfliction clearinghouse. RISS.net is exactly that. Each area of the U.S. has a RISS Clearinghouse. If I am on a surveillance (or some other sort of covert op, like buying drugs or guns), I will call my local clearinghouse and be “put on the war board” so any other police agencies working covert operations (that also call into the clearinghouse) will be made aware of what we’re doing. NOTE: In my own experience, Federal Agencies are notoriously HORRIBLE at notifying RISS of their operations. So if you want some part of your investigation to go awry or for Federal Feathers to get ruffled, this is a real-life way of it happening. The Feds definitely use RISS, they just tend to enter their info after the fact.

Each RISS affiliated Clearinghouse has it’s own name, often a bland acronym that we turn into a weird sounding word. For example, in California we have WSIN (Western States Information Network) which everyone pronounces as Whizzin’ and the Clearinghouse for the greater Los Angeles Metropolitan Area is creatively named LAClear. Or how about MAGLOCLEN? Yep. Just like it sounds, Maglow-Clen. Sounds like the Glow in the Dark brother of Kylo Ren to me.

In addition to deconflicting covert operations in the field, RISS also deconflicts entire investigations. If I am working a homicide and I’ve identified a suspect or person of interest, I will call WSIN and run that suspect’s name in their database. If that name is a match for being related to another investigation (say a drug investigation), the Clearinghouse will put the detectives in contact with each other. Wouldn’t it be nice to know that your homicide suspect was also identified by the DEA as a member of a drug cartel? This is often how those investigative links are made.

The RISS Clearinghouses also offer other support as well, which are mentioned after the 3:28 minute mark in this video. If there is one thing I’ve discovered in government work, the more bland the title or description, the more important and bad-ass the work they actually do.

June 6, 2017

CHARACTER: NEW DETECTIVES Writers often ask me about how their characters can realistically become detectives in their stories. While federal agencies in the U.S. hire directly into investigator roles (usually called Special Agents), local police agencies almost always require officers to promote to the rank of detective after serving some years working the street in uniform. This week, I discovered a BBC story announcing Scotland Yard’s decision to hire Detective Trainees. The Met has a shortage of investigators, so the new hiring program is aimed at recruiting new hires directly into the detective ranks without requiring the trainees to work in uniform. While I don’t see this program becoming too likely in the U.S., it could certainly lead to some interesting crime stories and character bios.

THE BUSINESS SIDE OF WRITING: FEAR LESS (NOT FEARLESS) I have made reference to Tim Ferriss’ podcast before, but this week he sits down with Vince Vaughn. Vince talks about how his teenage job as a telemarketer helped him overcome any fear of asking for things from strangers. Some of the stories in this interview are hilarious, but I really appreciated the message of not being afraid to go beyond what you find comfortable to accomplish your goals. Writers being introverts maybe a stereotype, but I think most of us find it uncomfortable to make the Big Ask. This is especially true when it feels like a possible rejection will be too tortuous to endure. This interview speaks to that and I think you will enjoy it. I am contemplating running a contest based on an idea presented in this interview. Check out the interview and you may get a head start on the contest!

MOTIVE: WOMEN WHO KILL We tend to think of men as the killers in our society. A&E aired a special documentary focused on the phenomenon of women being more likely to kill family members than men. You can still catch the documentary on aetv.com, you just need to login using your TV provider’s account credentials. Just remember me when your next story idea sells to Lifetime TV.

May 27, 2017

CHARACTER: FOUR MOST IMPORTANT CHARACTERS This isn’t my first link from an APB to K.M. Weiland’s writing website, helpingwritersbecomeauthors.com but this week’s post about a story’s Four Most Important Characters is fantastic. She writes about the roles the Protagonist, Antagonist, Reflection, and Love Interest should play in fulfilling their unique thematic roles and guiding your Protagonist toward (or away from) your story’s Thematic Truth. This is a must read for any author, regardless of genre. If you’re a fan of Poldark, you’ll really appreciate K.M.’s examples.

GENRE: DANGEROUS WORK One reason Detective Stories and Cop Shows are so popular is that the stakes are often life and death. Nothing will remind you more of those stakes than the Officer Down Memorial Page, which tracks every Law Enforcement line-of-duty death. The FBI tracks officer deaths and assaults, through the Annual LEOKA Report. LEOKA is an acronym for Law Enforcement Officers Killed and Assaulted. LEOKA statistics are reported by local, state, and federal law enforcement agencies to the FBI as part of the Uniform Crime Reporting (UCR) program.

RESEARCH: ASK THE EXPERTS! Sue Coletta is an award winning crime fiction author; murder blogger; co-host of the monthly Partners In Crime #BlogTalkRadio; and host/founder of #ACrimeChat, the bi-weekly Twitter Q&A for crime writers. Both the Partners In Crime streaming audio program and #ACrimeChat Twitter Q&A are regular opportunities for you to ask a cadre of experienced cops and writers questions specific to your craft. I jump into the #ACrimeChat Q&A as often as I can. It’s always a fun set of questions that don’t always get the same answers from the experts. Search #ACrimeChat on Twitter to see past Questions and Answers. #ACrimeChat occurs every other Wednesday from 3pm-4pm EDT/12pm-1pm PST. Submit your questions by tweeting @SueColetta1. Don’t be shy; we’d love to have you join us!

WRITING: FOR YOURSELF In addition to my law enforcement career and helping authors and screenwriters through writersdetective.com, I also teach at the collegiate level. One of my favorite classes to teach is a Criminal Justice Ethics course that includes the topics of mindfulness and wholesight. I am far from becoming some kind of New Age hippy, but I believe practicing mindfulness and wholesight leads to being a better person and a happier life. One tool I love to accomplish this is The Five Minute Journal*. Writing in my journal is the one daily New Year’s Resolution I have kept since 1/1/2017, and I urge you to consider checking it out. I read the daily quote and write in my journal when I first wake up, which helps me frame my day as one of possibility. Then before bed, I reflect back on how my day went and what I took notice of as being amazing. Knowing that I will write about “Three Amazing Things That Happened” each day has given me reason to seek out the amazing little things daily. It takes me LESS than five minutes each day. For those of us who don’t make the time to meditate or keep a diary, The Five Minute Journal* is perfect for cultivating a few minutes of good thoughts at the beginning and end of your day.

May 21, 2017

COMMUNICATIONS: Every cop has a story for what led them to this career. A Commander I worked for shared his story, which was a simple one. When he was a kid, he happened upon some sort of emergency in his town. There were flashing lights, sirens, police cars everywhere, and a crime scene cordoned off. He remembered watching an officer arrive in a police car and then walk past him into the crime scene. As a kid, my Commander desperately wanted to know what was going on. It dawned on him that the uniformed officer knew what was going on. That was the seed that grew into a police career: Knowing What Was Going On. Despite newer technologies like cellphones and computers in the patrol cars, the primary communication tool is still the police radio. Thanks to modern technology, you can know what’s going on by listening in on police radio traffic from around the world for free, on your smartphone. While I don’t recommend filling your writing or dialogue with police radio codes and jargon, listening to the communications around where your story is set can be enlightening. Is your story set in an area where a dedicated dispatch center is responsible for tracking dozens of officers at a time, or is the dispatching handled by the one civilian employee back at the office who is also the records clerk? To listen in using iPhone/Apple iOS Devices: Download the free 5-0 Radio App in the App Store. For Android Devices: Download the free Scanner Radio App in the Google Play Store. If you navigate to your story’s location and don’t get much to listen to, navigate to “LAPD Aero and Special Unit Dispatch” (LAPD calls this frequency “Air / K9”) to hear the most serious emergencies in the City of Los Angeles in near realtime.

STORY: In March, I shared a link to the policeone.com website that several of you said was extremely helpful. I’ve got another one for you! Similar to PoliceOne is a website called LEO Affairs. (No, it’s not Ashley Madison for Cops.) In addition to having a ton of incredible dashcam/bodycam footage, you can be a fly on the wall in the Forums to learn how cops honestly feel about various topics and possibly get some insight to what is going on inside the agency you might be writing about.

DEATH [Squeamish Alert] If you only write Cozy Mysteries or get squeamish, feel free to skip these links. One writer asked “does a body decompose any faster/slower if it doesn’t have any blood in it?” My reply: “It could. It would also depend on how the body lost its blood. Putrefaction may be slowed if the bacteria doesn’t have a blood filled circulatory system to move through easily. That said, if the blood loss occurred due to a significant wound, that wound would also allow for outside insects and bacteria to enter the cadaver to speed up the decomp. Depending on how you want your story to go, you can speed up decomp by elevating the ambient temperature and have the cadaver exposed. If you want the decomp slowed, cooling the temp and having the cadaver unexposed to air and outside elements (buried, bundled in clothing/sleeping bag, etc.) may help.” To learn more, check out AboutForensics and ExploreForensics (both links to U.K. sites.)

May 14, 2017

CHARACTER: MOTHER’S DAY Imagine being a single-mom to five kids, attending college, and being a Baltimore City Police Officer during last year’s riots. Meet BPD Officer Karyn Crisafulli. If you’re looking for a real Mother’s Day Hero, she is definitely it. I hope she inspires you to go for your dreams!

PROPS: FLIR On Saturday morning (by that I mean 0230 in the morning), my helicopter pilot partner and I were called to search a remote area for a suspect that fled on foot from a vehicle pursuit after he crashed his car. I was operating the helicopter’s Forward-Looking-InfraRed (FLIR) and using it to look for heat sources ahead of where our canine team was searching. I spotted the suspect about fifty yards ahead of the canine team just as he began running away from the officers. I radioed the K9 Officer who released his German Shepherd partner from his leash. The bad guy tried fighting the canine and quickly became a bloody chew-toy. Once the dummy was in handcuffs, we landed the helicopter and delivered a First Aid kit for bandaging his wounds. Being able to visually “see” heat through a thermograph has been an invaluable tool for law enforcement. Which leads me to this week’s second link: Understanding the scientific principles of how FLIR works. Oh how far we’ve come since the Year 1800 and Sir Frederick William Herschel’s discovery of infrared! At the very least, your kids might enjoy the science project of using a prism and a handful of thermometers. To find out what I’m talking about, watch this YouTube video.

STORY: EXTRADITION When bad guys are on the run, they are usually wanted because an arrest warrant was issued demanding their arrest. So what happens when a wanted person is arrested in another state? This short video explains the process of Interstate Extradition.. I have personally traveled out of state for dozens of extraditions, usually bringing the defendant back via a commercial airliner. In this video, you’ll see that the process becomes a little more complicated with International Extraditions. As I mentioned in a previous APB regarding the FBI and Interpol, international extraditions involve partner nations that have agreed to reciprocity in a treaty.

May 6, 2017

SETTING: LATIN AMERICA & CARIBBEAN Insight Crime is a great researching resource for crimes relating to Latin America, the Caribbean, and its ties to the US. Insight Crime is a foundation dedicated to the study of Organized Crime in those areas. Their website offers timely reporting and analysis on organized crime in the region. For adventurous bilingual students, they offer unpaid internships on a semester schedule.

PLOT: FBI and FISA Last week, FBI Director Comey testified in front of the Senate Judiciary Committee regarding the FBI oversight. I am sure you’re as sick of the news as I am, but this testimony is worth reviewing from a research perspective. Near the 2 hour 57 minute mark (scroll down to that clip), Dir. Comey offers a pretty concise explanation of Section 702 of FISA. For my research gluttons out there, here is NSA’s more detailed white paper on Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act Section 702. (A big shout out to my Mom for sharing the C-SPAN coverage with all of us!) Most Detectives do not get involved in FISA “wire taps” when investigating homicides. However, all it takes is a terror motive and your Detective may get sucked into the shadowy world of the Intelligence Community. It’s important to understand that the FBI acts as both a criminal investigation agency and as a domestic intelligence agency. Generally, the FBI Special Agents in each office will be assigned to one or the other as a primary job duty. In smaller FBI RA’s (Resident Agency offices –think satellite offices in smaller communities), an agent assigned to IT (International Terrorism) or DT (Domestic Terrorism) may still be required to roll out to a bank robbery. It just won’t be their primary duty. As a Detective, I have personally worked with both sides of the FBI office. When you are working with the Intel side, you are generally dealing with classified information that will not be used in court. If it does make it to court, it’s gone through some heavy legal review and it’s usually years after the arrest.

WHAT I’M READING THIS WEEK: “The Six Month Novel Writing Plan” Caitlin and Jacob Jans are the editors of Authors Publish Magazine, a free weekly email magazine for writers. Caitlin recently published “The Six Month Novel Writing Plan” and it’s available for free for a limited time. She offers some really practical advice for actually getting that novel finished (hint: writing time is not facebook time), edited, and published. If you find it worthwhile, consider giving it a review on Amazon.

April 29, 2017

Story: Dialogue – “Know Your Why” – Self Publishing Podcast Last year, the amazing folks at Sterling & Stone were crazy enough to feature me on an episode of their Self Publishing Podcast. (I’d like to offer a huge shout out and thank you to fellow Tribe Writer, Christine Niles, for making the podcast happen! Y’all are even nuttier for including me in the 2016 Year in Review episode.) On the podcast, I spoke about writing Interview & Interrogation dialogue and how “knowing the why” of each character will shape what is said…and [PUN ALERT] why it’s a cop out to use a suspect interrogation to summarize the investigation for the reader. So, what would a Detective actually say in an interview or interrogation? One of the most successful (and sometimes controversial) interview and interrogation methods is called The Reid Technique. This link to John E. Reid’s website includes some worthwhile presentations covering the stages of interview and interrogation. The Reid Investigator Tip page has a drop-down list of I&I questions that may help you craft dialog for your own interrogation scenes. If you pay attention to the way most Reid questions are formatted, you’ll notice that they are designed to elicit expository answers, not just a Yes/No response…which always help keep the dialogue and story moving!

PLOT: “All the pieces matter.” –Det. Lester Freamon, The Wire Your investigation is stalled. You can’t identify your victim, or maybe you only have part of a victim. Perhaps there is a signature to this killing and you want to see if any other homicide investigations have a similar trademark. ViCAP (the Violent Criminal Apprehension Program) is an FBI administered database dedicated to accomplishing exactly that. It was created in the early 1980s, but has since morphed into a secure web-based database that all US law enforcement agencies can access. If your serial killer uses a specific technique or you are looking to identify a Jane/John Doe, then ViCAP is likely the database where the analytical linking to other homicide, kidnapping, or missing person cases will occur. Click here to see the Public’s version of current investigations currently seeking leads or information.

WHAT I’M READING THIS WEEK*: “DRIVE: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us“ I know. “Writing is hard.” Many traditionally published authors argue that writing Is even harder once you’ve obtained that ever elusive “Publishing Contract.” This book, Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us* sheds light on the illogical human tendency to lose motivation whenever something that was implicitly rewarding (like writing for the love of it) becomes something you’re compensated for (a Big 5 Publishing contract perhaps.) This book is a interesting read and the author does a great job making the scientific evidence an easy read. It is definitely thought provoking. I am still in the middle of the book, so I will update you on whether there are any motivation hacks worth pursuing.

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APB Email Archive Update

November 5, 2017

I want to start by thanking those of you that offered such kind words of encouragement and understanding during my bereavement hiatus from the APB emails. I apologize for not replying to your emails...I was overwhelmed by how many thoughtful messages I received, but please know that I appreciate you greatly and that helped immensely. I have been overwhelmed by how kind, caring, and understanding my followers are. Thank you!!! Now, I am happy to announce that I am ready to get back to our regularly scheduled programming...and just in time for NaNoWriMo! I hope the time change allowed you to sneak an extra hour of writing time in, even if you aren't participating in National Novel Writing Month.

CHARACTER: OLD SCHOOL BEAT COPS The LA Times ran an article yesterday on a pair of LAPD Officers that have been partners for an unbelievable twenty-nine years! The guys seem to be right out of a Joseph Wambaugh novel. Like any good marriage, the key to their resiliency is that they operate like a well tuned machine. Each partner has his own strengths (and I'm sure weaknesses as well) and they know which part to play and when. If you are writing a Cop/Buddy Story, you will enjoy this article.

WRITING TIP OF THE WEEK: LEVEL UP YOUR DIALOGUE I am a fan of both Reddit and Quora. If you've been living under a boulder of old AOL Installation CDs, they are websites every author should add to his or her research toolbox. While Reddit and Quora are quite different sites, they are both great places to learn about nearly any topic you can dream up. This week, I was reading the Quora thread: What one tip changed your writing forever? Christopher Kingery shared a tip for writing dialogue that is a must-read. It is so simple and it's something that all of my favorite authors do...yet I never really thought about it. (Are you a Redditor or Quora User? Add me as a friend on Reddit and Quora!)

SOME OTHER COP'S BLOG: The Salty Sarge I discovered thesaltysarge.com blog this week and the post "Why Cops Retire Before You" is absolutely spot on. To gain even more insight into the lives of cops in the later stages or their careers, scroll through the comments at the bottom of the post. This is good background on the mentality of any Mentor type characters you might write about.

Good luck hitting your NaNoWriMo word counts and remember that any questions you have can be posted in the WRITERSDETECTIVE Q&A group on Facebook...even if you aren't a NaNo'er. It's a very supportive group and I try to answer your questions as quickly as I can.

October 3, 2017

Thank you for continuing to open my emails, even though it's been awhile. I buried my best friend today. He was only 46. Last month, I lost my uncle. A few weeks before that, my beloved 12-year old German Shepherd passed away peacefully with his head resting on my foot. The month before that, my Mentor died in a car wreck. Right now, I am grieving. But I will get through this. I will be back to publishing my weekly APBs soon. Thank you for your understanding and support. In the meantime, keep writing and do not hesitate to email me with any crime-writing questions you think I can help you with. Write well and love one another, Adam

June 17, 2017

First, thanks to those of you that offered your condolences regarding my mentor passing away. I really appreciate your kind thoughts. It's another reminder that whatever time we get is luck and we should all tell our loved ones how we feel...often.

CHARACTER: FORENSIC ODONTOLOGIST Crime fighting Dentists. Wait-What? One of the more esoteric fields of Forensic Science is Forensic Odontology. Bitemark analysis can play an important role in cases ranging from Domestic Violence to Murder. If you are writing about a killer with a sexual deviance or one that uses torture, bitemarks might make an interesting literary device. I'm sure you can come up with all sorts of deeper symbology or an intense psychological profile with a biter as the perpetrator. If you choose to go this route, the American Board of Forensic Odontology created a Bitemark Methodology Standards and Guidelines document that you may find incredibly helpful. This guide covers bitemark analytical methods, related terminology, collecting Bite Site evidence, collecting a suspect’s dentition, preferred formatting for the Odontologist’s analytical reports, exemplar comparison methods, the best practices for describing whether a suspect’s teeth could have made the bitemark in question, and even a sample layout of what the final investigative report should look like. It’s easy to read and it's only eleven pages long. I have no doubt you’ll be able to use this document to create believable dialog for your Forensic Odontologist, whether it's explaining facts to an investigator or testifying as a witness in court. While you’re on the ABFO.org page, you might take a quick look at the Member Directory to see if any Members work near you. I’d be willing to bet any one of these Forensic Odontologists would be willing to talk shop to a writer interested in this fascinating niche.

WHAT I'M READING THIS WEEK: DEAD BODY STUFF...BUT FUNNY A good friend of mine, who also happens to be a super smart and talented Psychologist that works with my agency, recommended the book I am reading this week: Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers* by Mary Roach. I'm not sure if the Doc profiled me as being psychologically disturbed or that we share the same skewed sense of humor. Either way, it was a brilliant recommendation. Just like cops, most crime writers seem to share a certain degree of gallows humor. If this describes you, you will LOVE this book. It is packed full of answers to your dead body questions, peppered with hilarious observations that make this a quick, funny, and useful reference tome that every serious crime writer should read. If you need answers to serious plot quandaries, such as the stages of a body’s biological and chemical decomposition phases or the timelines associated with each...but you'd prefer it explained in a way that sounds like you're listening to a friend telling stories over drinks (rather than a dry medical school textbook,) then this is the book for you. Here’s a sample passage from the Stiff*: [Context: Mary is visiting the University of Tennessee's Anthropological Research Facility in Knoxville where human decomposition is studied.] “So the gas builds up and the belly bloats. He explains that the small intestine has pretty much collapsed and sealed itself off…Though he allows, with some prodding, that a little bad air often does, in fact, slip out, and so, as a matter of record, it can be said that dead people fart. It needn’t be, but it can.” Mary also writes about the mental techniques first-year medical students use to get over the natural tendency to get grossed out by their cadavers. Any character of yours that routinely attends or partakes in autopsies will have developed “objectification techniques” like what is mentioned in this book. If the mere thought of dead bodies and decay gets you squeamish, you might want to reconsider my suggestion, but I really do think you should give it a try. There are ZERO gross pictures, so you don’t need to worry about seeing any gore.

I will be traveling through various parts of England and Scotland in the upcoming weeks. If you want to keep tabs on what I'm up to, follow me on Instagram: @writersdetctive (DISCLAIMER: It is entirely possible the photos will be nothing but the pubs, ales, and wee drams of whisky I find. So no promises that the photos will be any good. ;)

June 12, 2017

It's been a rough weekend. One of my mentors died in a car crash this weekend. He was incredibly sharp and an A-Type through-and-through. He always demanded the best work out of his detectives, but he also made sure we had fun on and off duty. I blame him for my love of Rum & Cokes. Regrettably, we lost touch after his retirement a few years ago. Rest in Peace. If there is one writing-related thing I can share about this, its the way cops have a tendency to detach using an out-of-sight-out-of-mind coping mechanism. It's not that we don't care or that we aren't thinking about our former Brothers and Sisters in Blue; we just spend our emotional effort on those that we are working with (and watching the backs of) currently. We are also notoriously bad at acknowledging and dealing with negative emotions, other than to lock them away for another day. It starts at the beginning. When a Recruit is fired from the Police Academy, the Academy Class does not get to say goodbye. The Recruit is called to the office and that's the last you see or hear of the Recruit. When the class comes back into the classroom after PT or a defensive tactics course, the fired Recruit's belongings are gone and his name placard has been removed from his seat and pinned upside down to the wall at the back of the classroom (along with the name placards of other former classmates.) The lesson is clear: You're either in or out. The work still goes on. That persists through the rest of a cop's career. There is a saying "SWAT-OR-NOT." Many officers will be part of a SWAT team at some point in their career. SWAT is for the young and motivated. Which means there are a ton of former-SWAT operators full of "When I was on the Team..." war stories. SWAT-or-NOT means if you aren't on the team now, you aren't SWAT anymore (so shut it.) In or out. So when an officer retires from the Department, it can feel like going through an amicable divorce. Sure, we all say we'll still be friends and keep in touch...but only your closest friends will actually follow through. It's a weird and sad phenomena. So if your characters are "ex-cops" that have turned into a P.I., expect that they may be forgotten rather quickly no matter how awesome they were. In or out.

CHARACTER: THE SPOUSE There is no tougher rock than the spouse of a cop. "10 Tips for a Police Spouse" was written by the wife of an Australian Police Officer. Every single bullet point translates to police work anywhere in the world. This brief glimpse into a Police Family's life is worth the read, as it may give you insight into an often overlooked character in your story. It may also offer you a chance to skew the way your detective character is viewed and/or add additional conflict and chaos to the detective's life. Regardless of whether the cop catches the murderer or saves the kidnap victim, the spouse may be seeing that same cop as the absentee-parent or an aloof workaholic who fails to prioritize his or her marriage.

STORY: CASE COORDINATION? If your Detective is undercover as an arms dealer trying to lure in potential lone-wolf terrorists, how will s/he make sure the "clients" aren't also undercover cops trying to run their own arms-dealing investigation? Or drug dealing? Or murder-for-hire? The answer is to have a deconfliction clearinghouse. RISS.net is exactly that. Each area of the U.S. has a RISS Clearinghouse. If I am on a surveillance (or some other sort of covert op, like buying drugs or guns), I will call my local clearinghouse and be "put on the war board" so any other police agencies working covert operations (that also call into the clearinghouse) will be made aware of what we're doing. NOTE: In my own experience, Federal Agencies are notoriously HORRIBLE at notifying RISS of their operations. So if you want some part of your investigation to go awry or for Federal Feathers to get ruffled, this is a real-life way of it happening. The Feds definitely use RISS, they just tend to enter their info after the fact. Each RISS affiliated Clearinghouse has it's own name, often a bland acronym that we turn into a weird sounding word. For example, in California we have WSIN (Western States Information Network) which everyone pronounces as Whizzin' and the Clearinghouse for the greater Los Angeles Metropolitan Area is creatively named LAClear. Or how about MAGLOCLEN? Yep. Just like it sounds, Maglow-Clen. Sounds like the Glow in the Dark brother of Kylo Ren to me. In addition to deconflicting covert operations in the field, RISS also deconflicts entire investigations. If I am working a homicide and I've identified a suspect or person of interest, I will call WSIN and run that suspect's name in their database. If that name is a match for being related to another investigation (say a drug investigation), the Clearinghouse will put the detectives in contact with each other. Wouldn't it be nice to know that your homicide suspect was also identified by the DEA as a member of a drug cartel? This is often how those investigative links are made. The RISS Clearinghouses also offer other support as well, which are mentioned after the 3:28 minute mark in this video. If there is one thing I've discovered in government work, the more bland the title or description, the more important and bad-ass the work they actually do.

June 6, 2017

CHARACTER: NEW DETECTIVES Writers often ask me about how their characters can realistically become detectives in their stories. While federal agencies in the U.S. hire directly into investigator roles (usually called Special Agents), local police agencies almost always require officers to promote to the rank of detective after serving some years working the street in uniform. This week, I discovered a BBC story announcing Scotland Yard's decision to hire Detective Trainees. The Met has a shortage of investigators, so the new hiring program is aimed at recruiting new hires directly into the detective ranks without requiring the trainees to work in uniform. While I don't see this program becoming too likely in the U.S., it could certainly lead to some interesting crime stories and character bios.

THE BUSINESS SIDE OF WRITING: FEAR LESS (NOT FEARLESS) I have made reference to Tim Ferriss' podcast before, but this week he sits down with Vince Vaughn. Vince talks about how his teenage job as a telemarketer helped him overcome any fear of asking for things from strangers. Some of the stories in this interview are hilarious, but I really appreciated the message of not being afraid to go beyond what you find comfortable to accomplish your goals. Writers being introverts maybe a stereotype, but I think most of us find it uncomfortable to make the Big Ask. This is especially true when it feels like a possible rejection will be too tortuous to endure. This interview speaks to that and I think you will enjoy it. I am contemplating running a contest based on an idea presented in this interview. Check out the interview and you may get a head start on the contest!

MOTIVE: WOMEN WHO KILL We tend to think of men as the killers in our society. A&E aired a special documentary focused on the phenomenon of women being more likely to kill family members than men. You can still catch the documentary on aetv.com, you just need to login using your TV provider's account credentials. Just remember me when your next story idea sells to Lifetime TV.

May 27, 2017

CHARACTER: FOUR MOST IMPORTANT CHARACTERS This isn’t my first link from an APB to K.M. Weiland’s writing website, helpingwritersbecomeauthors.com but this week's post about a story's Four Most Important Characters is fantastic. She writes about the roles the Protagonist, Antagonist, Reflection, and Love Interest should play in fulfilling their unique thematic roles and guiding your Protagonist toward (or away from) your story’s Thematic Truth. This is a must read for any author, regardless of genre. If you’re a fan of Poldark, you’ll really appreciate K.M.’s examples.

May 21, 2017

COMMUNICATIONS: Every cop has a story for what led them to this career. A Commander I worked for shared his story, which was a simple one. When he was a kid, he happened upon some sort of emergency in his town. There were flashing lights, sirens, police cars everywhere, and a crime scene cordoned off. He remembered watching an officer arrive in a police car and then walk past him into the crime scene. As a kid, my Commander desperately wanted to know what was going on. It dawned on him that the uniformed officer knew what was going on. That was the seed that grew into a police career: Knowing What Was Going On. Despite newer technologies like cellphones and computers in the patrol cars, the primary communication tool is still the police radio. Thanks to modern technology, you can know what's going on by listening in on police radio traffic from around the world for free, on your smartphone. While I don't recommend filling your writing or dialogue with police radio codes and jargon, listening to the communications around where your story is set can be enlightening. Is your story set in an area where a dedicated dispatch center is responsible for tracking dozens of officers at a time, or is the dispatching handled by the one civilian employee back at the office who is also the records clerk? To listen in using iPhone/Apple iOS Devices: Download the free 5-0 Radio App in the App Store. For Android Devices: Download the free Scanner Radio App in the Google Play Store. If you navigate to your story's location and don't get much to listen to, navigate to "LAPD Aero and Special Unit Dispatch" (LAPD calls this frequency "Air / K9") to hear the most serious emergencies in the City of Los Angeles in near realtime.

STORY: In March, I shared a link to the policeone.com website that several of you said was extremely helpful. I've got another one for you! Similar to PoliceOne is a website called LEO Affairs. (No, it's not Ashley Madison for Cops.) In addition to having a ton of incredible dashcam/bodycam footage, you can be a fly on the wall in the Forums to learn how cops honestly feel about various topics and possibly get some insight to what is going on inside the agency you might be writing about.

DEATH [Squeamish Alert] If you only write Cozy Mysteries or get squeamish, feel free to skip these links. One writer asked "does a body decompose any faster/slower if it doesn't have any blood in it?" My reply: "It could. It would also depend on how the body lost its blood. Putrefaction may be slowed if the bacteria doesn't have a blood filled circulatory system to move through easily. That said, if the blood loss occurred due to a significant wound, that wound would also allow for outside insects and bacteria to enter the cadaver to speed up the decomp. Depending on how you want your story to go, you can speed up decomp by elevating the ambient temperature and have the cadaver exposed. If you want the decomp slowed, cooling the temp and having the cadaver unexposed to air and outside elements (buried, bundled in clothing/sleeping bag, etc.) may help." To learn more, check out AboutForensics and ExploreForensics (both links to U.K. sites.)

May 14, 2017

CHARACTER: MOTHER'S DAY Imagine being a single-mom to five kids, attending college, and being a Baltimore City Police Officer during last year's riots. Meet BPD Officer Karyn Crisafulli. If you're looking for a real Mother's Day Hero, she is definitely it. I hope she inspires you to go for your dreams!

PROPS: FLIR On Saturday morning (by that I mean 0230 in the morning), my helicopter pilot partner and I were called to search a remote area for a suspect that fled on foot from a vehicle pursuit after he crashed his car. I was operating the helicopter's Forward-Looking-InfraRed (FLIR) and using it to look for heat sources ahead of where our canine team was searching. I spotted the suspect about fifty yards ahead of the canine team just as he began running away from the officers. I radioed the K9 Officer who released his German Shepherd partner from his leash. The bad guy tried fighting the canine and quickly became a bloody chew-toy. Once the dummy was in handcuffs, we landed the helicopter and delivered a First Aid kit for bandaging his wounds. Being able to visually "see" heat through a thermograph has been an invaluable tool for law enforcement. Which leads me to this week's second link: Understanding the scientific principles of how FLIR works. Oh how far we've come since the Year 1800 and Sir Frederick William Herschel's discovery of infrared! At the very least, your kids might enjoy the science project of using a prism and a handful of thermometers. To find out what I'm talking about, watch this YouTube video.

STORY: EXTRADITION When bad guys are on the run, they are usually wanted because an arrest warrant was issued demanding their arrest. So what happens when a wanted person is arrested in another state? This short video explains the process of Interstate Extradition.. I have personally traveled out of state for dozens of extraditions, usually bringing the defendant back via a commercial airliner. In this video, you'll see that the process becomes a little more complicated with International Extraditions. As I mentioned in a previous APB regarding the FBI and Interpol, international extraditions involve partner nations that have agreed to reciprocity in a treaty.

May 6, 2017

WHAT I’M READING THIS WEEK: "The Six Month Novel Writing Plan" Caitlin and Jacob Jans are the editors of Authors Publish Magazine, a free weekly email magazine for writers. Caitlin recently published “The Six Month Novel Writing Plan” and it’s available for free for a limited time. She offers some really practical advice for actually getting that novel finished (hint: writing time is not facebook time), edited, and published. If you find it worthwhile, consider giving it a review on Amazon.

April 29, 2017

Story: Dialogue - "Know Your Why" - Self Publishing Podcast Last year, the amazing folks at Sterling & Stone were crazy enough to feature me on an episode of their Self Publishing Podcast. (I’d like to offer a huge shout out and thank you to fellow Tribe Writer, Christine Niles, for making the podcast happen! Y'all are even nuttier for including me in the 2016 Year in Review episode.) On the podcast, I spoke about writing Interview & Interrogation dialogue and how “knowing the why” of each character will shape what is said...and [PUN ALERT] why it’s a cop out to use a suspect interrogation to summarize the investigation for the reader. So, what would a Detective actually say in an interview or interrogation? One of the most successful (and sometimes controversial) interview and interrogation methods is called The Reid Technique. This link to John E. Reid’s website includes some worthwhile presentations covering the stages of interview and interrogation. The Reid Investigator Tip page has a drop-down list of I&I questions that may help you craft dialog for your own interrogation scenes. If you pay attention to the way most Reid questions are formatted, you’ll notice that they are designed to elicit expository answers, not just a Yes/No response...which always help keep the dialogue and story moving!

PLOT: “All the pieces matter.” –Det. Lester Freamon, The Wire Your investigation is stalled. You can’t identify your victim, or maybe you only have part of a victim. Perhaps there is a signature to this killing and you want to see if any other homicide investigations have a similar trademark. ViCAP (the Violent Criminal Apprehension Program) is an FBI administered database dedicated to accomplishing exactly that. It was created in the early 1980s, but has since morphed into a secure web-based database that all US law enforcement agencies can access. If your serial killer uses a specific technique or you are looking to identify a Jane/John Doe, then ViCAP is likely the database where the analytical linking to other homicide, kidnapping, or missing person cases will occur. Click here to see the Public's version of current investigations currently seeking leads or information.

WHAT I’M READING THIS WEEK*: "DRIVE: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us" I know. "Writing is hard." Many traditionally published authors argue that writing Is even harder once you’ve obtained that ever elusive “Publishing Contract.” This book, Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us* sheds light on the illogical human tendency to lose motivation whenever something that was implicitly rewarding (like writing for the love of it) becomes something you’re compensated for (a Big 5 Publishing contract perhaps.) This book is a interesting read and the author does a great job making the scientific evidence an easy read. It is definitely thought provoking. I am still in the middle of the book, so I will update you on whether there are any motivation hacks worth pursuing. ;)

APB Email Archive Update published first on http://ift.tt/2pFdZxI

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iseeuseepage · 7 years ago

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APB Email Archive Update

November 5, 2017

October 3, 2017

Right now, I am grieving.

Write well and love one another, Adam

June 17, 2017

Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers* by Mary Roach.

I’m not sure if the Doc profiled me as being psychologically disturbed or that we share the same skewed sense of humor. Either way, it was a brilliant recommendation.

June 12, 2017

June 6, 2017

May 27, 2017

May 21, 2017

May 14, 2017

May 6, 2017

April 29, 2017

APB Email Archive Update syndicated from detectiveserviceblog.wordpress.com

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berthastover · 8 years ago

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9 Steps to Creating a Magnetic Blog

It’s not surprising that you decided to dedicate yourself to work in the world of web. Perhaps you’ve seen lots of websites that get an enormous amount of traffic every single day. The owners of these web resources become popular, they earn solid money, and they are happy with the life.

You might think a kind of “I have a great idea/service/product to spread around the globe sitting in a comfortable office” business idea. Yes, you think in a right direction. The internet is a wonderful place to start your business. However, it is not as easy as it seems.

While you could be a skillful businessman outside the internet, it doesn’t mean you can get credit in the digital world. Here you will have to face a bunch of new rules; new personal findings and, of course, barriers you will have to overcome. Here you will have to become a professional internet marketer.

Let’s presume you’ve already launched a website. You believe it will generate some traffic. Unfortunately, the only thing you can see – your website brings you zero results: you don’t have any traffic, you don’t get new customers, your brand gets no visibility and, moreover, you spend all your time in vain.

It’s a kind of disaster, isn’t it?

Let me present you 9 steps to creating a magnetic blog that will attract dozens of visitors and bring you money.

1. Know your niche and your audience

Yeah, a statement “know your niche and your audience” might sound weird for you as you’ve just entered upon the path of internet marketing but it is not as strange as you think. I am sure you know what “a chain reaction” means. Right – it is a sequence of reactions where a reactive product or by-product causes additional reactions to take place. The same happens to your online activity. You just get in touch with your target audience, introduce them your product, and, afterwards, this audience will share it via all possible social media accounts (of course, if your product worth it). Why is it a chain reaction? Because you have to do a single “stovepiping” and your service users will do the rest instead of you.

Nevertheless, I haven’t given you any idea on how to find your target audience. Well, first things first. Determine your niche. It is easy to do because you, as a businessman, already know what kind of product/service you’re going to offer. Let’s take, for example, musical instruments. You are the one who has just released a new guitar brand and, of course, you want to get customers online.

Finally, you’ve determined your niche and it is time to investigate where to find potential clients for your awesome guitars. What Google says:

As you can see, Google reveals you TOP 10 websites that sell guitars and other musical equipment. These websites are the source of your customers you could gain.

Once you’ve found the places where your target audience “dwells”, it is time to know better your competitors.

2. Know your competitors – they can teach you a lot.

Believe or not but your competitors can give you a lot of things. As I’ve showed you above – it is not too hard to find out who your competitors are via Google. BUT in this very case you should ask Google about blogs that are dedicated to music instruments:

Please pay attention to an inquiry you’re using during the search. I didn’t want to do an in-depth keyword research, I just put the first that came to my mind “music instruments blog” and Google suggested me a few solid blogs. I want to underline an adjective “solid” because I’ve checked the DR of each blog and Organic Traffic they get via Ahrefs Site Explorer:

69K of traffic – it is really impressive. And do you know what do these numbers mean? It means this blog is the place where you could find a way lot of potential clients for your own music brand.

Why do I say “competitors can teach you a lot”? Because, thanks to discovering your competitors’ blogs, you have a great opportunity to see what they offer to their target audience:

What type of content they post?

Do they add video tutorials to the blog or not?

Do they pay attention to spreading the information via social media?

I don’t say that you should do all the same as your competitors do. But, please, take into account that these websites established themselves as the leaders being a part of TOP 10 Google results. Thus you can get lots of useful information spying these web resources.

3. Take care of your brand visibility

Despite the fact that your service is awesome as hell, you won’t scale up your customer database massively without the right brand visibility. Yeah, sometimes it is easier to say than to do. And the very first step you should do is to tell about yourself.

I am not familiar with psychological aspects of our society but the practice shows: if people don’t know your story, your background, they won’t be interested in the service you’re willing to sell them.

Why is it so important? Just because I believe everyone wants to trust to someone he or she already knows. No, it is not about personal relationships. It is about your “transparency” as a businessman. Here are a few suggestions you should follow branding yourself:

Don’t be shy about sharing your life story. Tell us about yourself, as if you were talking to a friend.

Point out how your product or service can help your users to solve their problems

Share your story via social media accounts.

When you talk about your service, you should never be arrogant. Remember, you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar

4. Create a social media presence

I could combine this tip with the one above because a social media presence is a part of your brand visibility. However, I decided to talk about it in detail. I bet you won’t argue with me that creating accounts throughout such social media resources as Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest is not a hard task. Yes, it will take some of your time but doing a good job these social media accounts will help you spread the information about your brand’s activity.

It’s a very slippery slope when marketers tend to self-promote instead of engaging more and more users to get familiar with the service itself. If you want to see that your social media efforts aren’t in vain, you should do the following:

Refresh the information on your social media accounts daily.

Never ignore comments people post.

Always reply to users’ questions.

Share the information related to your niche but don’t be persistent with self-promotion.

Use various methods of catching users’ eye: post videos, images, infographics. Make sure your content is interesting.

Use Twitter as a great place to find new connections and take a part in various conversations.

Use Instagram as the platform for posting innovations in terms of your service. Don’t forget to be closer to your users by posting some shots from your daily routine.

5. Be a guest contributor

Guest posting is an excellent way to get credibility for yourself as a marketer and, of course, to make your brand popular.

If you want to get visibility for your own blog, you should “fan a spark” on other blogs as the writer.

What will it give you?

Firstly, you will get credit as a writer and as a professional marketer. Moreover, you will increase traffic to your site earning backlinks.

Another one cool thing that guest posting allows you to do is create business relationships with influential people from your niche. My personal experience is a great example of this. When I started writing my first articles I had neither followers on Twitter, nor business contacts on LinkedIn. Likely, my guest contributions on marketing blogs with DR starts from 40-63 helped me get useful business connections (no more, no less):

Yeah, the situation with followers on Twitter is not impressive. Nevertheless, for me (who has recently started writing guest posts) it is a good result. Likely, my contacts on LinkedIn are far better in contrast to Twitter:

340 business contacts – not bad result for a person in this industry for only a year (I started guest posting 4 months ago though).

Guest posting has only benefits for you and your blog. The only drawback you might face is absence of time. Fortunately, you will be able to overcome this “trouble” improving your writing skills.

6. Content is king – don’t forget about it!

Do you remember this statement “Master of information, master of situation?” Any kind of information is like a weapon you can use for your own benefit. But why does every marketer on the web know a rock-solid truth “content is king?” Simply because content gives users answers to their questions.

Once I stumbled upon an interesting survey the Content Marketing Institute created. It states that 80% of businessmen prefer to get general information about some brand via reading a few articles, compared to an ad. And, 78% of consumers believe that those companies that provide high-quality content build better business relationships with them. However, 58% still think that those companies that produce video content are more trustworthy.

Truth be told, it doesn’t matter what kind of content you are going to present your audience. There are lots of blogs that win the game providing their users only with articles. There are blogs that like to mix their content up – they produce articles, videos, and even, launch podcasts.

By the way, if you want to get some new valuable insights on content marketing, you should check out what the founder of the Content Marketing Institute Joe Pulizzi says.

7. Optimize your blog

Every marketer who runs a blog optimizes it in a proper way. SEO is an integral part of internet marketing. You won’t get any traffic without an optimized website. I won’t provide you with a detailed SEO course over here (there are lots of guides in the internet) but I just want you to understand the basic aspect of it.

I could say for a lark “everything revolves around content” but I am sure it is more like an unquestionable fact rather than joke! Content is KING! Thus, never neglect of creating only high-quality and unique material.

Talking about written content, you should always focus on using right keywords that will help your content get ranked well in Google. It goes without saying that using only “text type” content makes your blog very boring. Thus, don’t forget to add images, videos, infographics, etc., on your blog. These visual additions will make your blog interesting and desirable to visit. Nevertheless, even though you will have to take care of adding an optimized description, alt tags, and, as I’ve already mentioned, related keywords. Without all these SEO “preparations” your blog will be invisible for Google first page.

Please, don’t neglect SEO!

8. Mobile accessibility is important as well

Wow, I thought this tip is self-evident just because you might be read this post using your mobile device.

Taking things more seriously, mobile optimization of a website is vitally important. Especially in the age of tech progress. Let me introduce you just a few reasons why you must have a mobile optimized website:

User experience. Firstly, mobile users want to get the information (or to purchase a product) very fast. If your website is inconvenient for mobile users, you lose out on thousands of potential customers. Additionally, mobile optimized websites lead to positive feedbacks from users.

Traffic. I don’t know a single person who doesn’t use a mobile phone for surfing the web. Maybe you do? Well, you got a clue that mobile users are a great source of traffic for your website.

Bounce rate. If your web resource isn’t mobile optimized, your bounce rate is going to be very high. If you want to reduce it, a mobile optimization is a must-do.

Brand engagement. Did you know that users who have been satisfied with your website’s mobile experience will likely return to your site on desktop afterwards? Yes, it is true. Thus, your brand engagement increases its popularity. However, just imagine if your visitors are not satisfied with a mobile version of your website, what’s next? Right, they will choose your competitors instead of you.

9. Outreach

It’s good when your content finds its recognition by itself – when people can easily stumble upon it from Google. It means you’re a genius of SEO and marketing. However, what if your content still doesn’t get as much recognition as you think it deserves?

You should present your material manually to the audience. And this very process is called outreach. The primary goal of outreach is not just promoting your content (and service as well) but building new business relationships with influential people from your niche.

I want to present you a short step-by-step plan on how to do outreach via email correctly:

Identify your targets

Find one’s personal email address (you can use these tools findthat.email, Voilanorbert)

Prepare personalized email template with a “killer” subject line

Don’t be afraid of sending a follow-up email

Be persistent in reaching out

I want to convince you that doing outreach in a proper way (and on a regular basis) will give you the results you need – traffic, brand visibility, and personal growth as a professional marketer.

SIDENOTE: if you want to know a bit detailed on how to do blogger outreach, you should check out this marvelous guide.

Conclusion

Creating a magnetic blog is not a simple process, it takes lots of time, patience, and strength. Doing it on your own without additional knowledge might slow your efforts down. Likely, things can’t be all that bad on your side!

Following these 9 basic yet powerful steps you will be able to run a successful blog that will bring you lots of benefits.

Now, since you have already been armed with my helpful tips, it’s time to start crafting your web resource. Perhaps, I ‘ll be delightfully surprised when I’ll come across your blog in a few months reading some outstanding content.

If you have anything to add, please, feel free to share your insights in a comment section.

P.S don’t forget to share it via social media

Why All Online Marketers Should Master the Art of Negotiation

How to Start a Business Blog in 2015 – Part III

The post 9 Steps to Creating a Magnetic Blog appeared first on GetResponse Blog - Online Marketing Tips.

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timothyakoonce · 8 years ago

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The true power of referral marketing and how you can use it today to grow your small business fast

The true power of referral marketing and how you can use it today to grow your small business fast written by Guest Post read more at Duct Tape Marketing

Referral marketing, also known as word-of-mouth marketing, is one of the oldest (and still most effective!) marketing strategies out there. It’s basically about people buying your products and services because somebody they trust recommends it to them.

Word-of-mouth is a subtle process that is present everywhere in our daily lives. The reason for which a lot of small businesses are not considering it more is because of the simple fact that it’s not that visible like a TV commercial for example (I like to call this the “Super Bowl effect”).

Nevertheless, study after study, word of mouth always shows up like the most powerful form of promoting your business. Just look at the numbers below, from a study performed by the Nielsen Company (a leading global provider of information and insights into what consumers watch and buy).

Basically, the graph shows that 90% of consumers around the world say they trust word-of-mouth from their friends and family above all other forms of advertising. Also, 70% of them trust other consumers’ opinion posted online. These numbers alone are gold and speak volumes about the power of this (sometimes disregarded) marketing channel.

But why makes referral marketing that special?

1. It comes with the persuasion factor already included!

Think about that: when was the last time you went to a new restaurant because your friend couldn’t stop talking about how good the food was when he went there? Or what online program (course or mastermind) have you bought after seeing the amazing results another small business owner had after signing up and implementing what he/she learned? If you are like me, I bet there were a few!

So, basically, referral marketing works that well because people trust the opinions of other people they respect and love, like their friends, family or other people they admire.

2. The laser targeting aspect of referral marketing!

If you tried (or want to try) Facebook ads, you know that if you don’t get your target audience right, your entire ads budget will go to a waste! It’s like throwing spaghetti on a wall with your eyes closed and just pray that some of them will stick!

But with referral marketing, all the targeting is magically and perfectly done for you. Many of your clients will recommend you are amazing products and services to those friends and family members (and social media followers) that WANT it and NEED it the most. So you see? Your targeting can’t get any better than this (and without any efforts on your part whatsoever!).

3. The reach of referral marketing today can be crazy high.

I remember that several years ago (ok, many years ago!), when I was a little girl, my father would not hire any handyman to do work around the house unless it was somebody highly recommended by a friend. So every time he needed one, he picked up the phone and called at least 10 friends before getting a referral.

But today, if I need to urgently buy a laptop or if I want to try a new gym or if I want to hire a trusted virtual assistant, all I have to do is to post my message on social media (to my friends or in the groups I am part of). I will have a reply in the next 10 minutes or so.

With a simple Facebook post or the Instagram selfie, everybody can reach hundreds of (trusted) people in just seconds. This is also valid in the opposite way: a very good testimonial about your brand or products/services, posted on social media, will reach hundreds (even thousands) of potential clients in minutes.

Ok, so we covered why referral marketing is so effective and why you should use it to grow your small business fast with zero impact on your (small) budget.

Now let’s see exactly HOW you can take advantage of this massive opportunity. Because all the theory is useless unless it comes with a plan to implement it.

But first, let’s get clear on a fact: your business will not benefit if your only referral sources are only your close friends and family, right? There are also other sources of information that are trusted by the average consumer today and that can also bring you more sales that you can handle (nice picture, right?).

And these sources are:

customers’ opinion/reviews posted online and

influential bloggers in your niche.

Then, please note that you, as a small business owner, have a huge advantage over any big company out there: you are much closer to your customer and you can deliver your personal attention to each of them and thus make them feel special for being your clients. And this is one of the most effective ways to benefit from the word of mouth marketing.

With that huge advantage in mind, here are the best ways to use referral marketing to your advantage:

1. Focus on one thing: having a very good product or service.

If your product is not doing a good job at solving your clients’ needs, not only you will not gain any advantage from word of mouth, but you are going to even turn it against you. Because if a good testimonial can reach people in minutes, a bad one will only need a fraction of a second! Bad news always travels the fastest.

2. Make it personal.

Get to know your clients, remember their names and purchasing habits, start a conversation with them and know more about their status and their desires, greet them like you would greet an old dear friend – all this will make them feel welcome and special. And this type of feelings always leads people to share it with everyone they know.

3. Exceed their expectations.

If you want to really achieve stellar business results fulfilling your clients’ needs is not enough anymore. The market is full of small businesses just like yours that also do the same thing. So go the extra mile. Get creative, is anything you can add (even a little something) that would make their day extra special / make their life a little easier just because they bought something from you?

4. Have a process in place to manage clients concerns and unhappy clients.

This will give you two major things: you will always improve your products and services and you will also avoid bad testimonials that can do a lot of damage.

5. Proactively ask for testimonials and referrals.

Don’t make the mistake to wait for all the good testimonials to magically come to you out of the blue sky. People are busy and they have other things on their minds so even if they were very happy with their purchasing experience from you, they won’t think to send you their testimonial unless you ask. So don’t be afraid of asking. If you did a good job and they are happy clients, they will be willing to help you.

Also, if in any conversation (online, text messages, on Facebook groups etc) somebody is telling you something positive about your brand/business/product make sure you record that. Print screen, take photos, save links, do whatever it is required to do. In this way, you’ll never run out of (fresh) testimonials when you need them.

6. Make it easy for people to spread the word (bonus points of you can also make it fun!).

You can start by simply asking questions that make it easy for them to fill in a nice testimonial (like “What feature of the product have you enjoyed the most and why?”). Then you can always go further:

send an email campaign about your business in which you encourage your past clients to forward your message to their friends

if you have a blog for your small business make sure that all your posts are easily shareable

incentivize your clients to refer your services by giving them something back in return (like a nice discount on their next order, a gift card, an e-book or something else you know they would like)

7.Use all the testimonials effectively.

Now that you have all those great and compelling testimonials, use them! Feature them strategically on your website (your Home page, your About page, any sales page / opt-in page) and also share them on social media. Remember: 64% of consumers make an online research before deciding to buy, so that is a very good reason to get persuasive in every way you can.

8. Stand out from the crowd and be visible to your clients.

We all know that people love to buy from the best, the experts in their field. It gives them confidence and it makes them feel good about themselves. And this is exactly how you would want your clients to feel like after buying from you!

Also, no matter what type of business you have, providing valuable information and advice to your audience (actual and future clients) by writing a few effectively placed articles is the fastest (and easiest) way to become known as an expert in your field.

So make it your goal to write at least 5 well-written articles at have them published on good quality websites that you know are valuable for your audience.

To make this very easy for you, I have put together all the steps to take to have this done in less that 2 hours. Download your FREE strategy cheat sheet right here (only available to the readers of ducttapemarketing.com):

http://passioncreativitybusiness.com/welcome-readers-ducttapemarketing-com-2/

If you follow the advice I gave you in this article, if you take action, I guarantee you that pretty soon you’ll get messages saying “I am reaching out because I have heard so amazing words about you and your product and I would very much like to buy it also. Where should I send my money to?”. And that, my friend, will be a perfect moment and then you’ll just know that you really made your small business work for the long term.

About the Author

Olivia Angelescu is a launch & growth strategist for BUSY (or just Impatient) small business owners who want results FAST! No more waiting for months and months to build your freedom business! Why not do it now? Olivia is working with her clients by both 1-on-1 coaching and online training. You can find her at www.passioncreativitybusiness.com and on her Facebook page

from Duct Tape Marketing https://www.ducttapemarketing.com/referral-marketing-grow-small-business/

#Duct Tape Marketing

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shadowfollowweb · 7 years ago

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APB Email Archive Update

November 5, 2017

CHARACTER: OLD SCHOOL BEAT COPS The LA Times ran an article yesterday on a pair of LAPD Officers that have been partners for an unbelievable twenty-nine years! The guys seem to be right out of a Joseph Wambaugh novel. Like any good marriage, the key to their resiliency is that they operate like a well tuned machine. Each partner has his own strengths (and I'm sure weaknesses as well) and they know which part to play and when. If you are writing a Cop/Buddy Story, you will enjoy this article.

October 3, 2017

June 17, 2017

June 12, 2017

June 6, 2017

CHARACTER: NEW DETECTIVES Writers often ask me about how their characters can realistically become detectives in their stories. While federal agencies in the U.S. hire directly into investigator roles (usually called Special Agents), local police agencies almost always require officers to promote to the rank of detective after serving some years working the street in uniform. This week, I discovered a BBC story announcing Scotland Yard's decision to hire Detective Trainees. The Met has a shortage of investigators, so the new hiring program is aimed at recruiting new hires directly into the detective ranks without requiring the trainees to work in uniform. While I don't see this program becoming too likely in the U.S., it could certainly lead to some interesting crime stories and character bios.

MOTIVE: WOMEN WHO KILL We tend to think of men as the killers in our society. A&E aired a special documentary focused on the phenomenon of women being more likely to kill family members than men. You can still catch the documentary on aetv.com, you just need to login using your TV provider's account credentials. Just remember me when your next story idea sells to Lifetime TV.

May 27, 2017

May 21, 2017

COMMUNICATIONS: Every cop has a story for what led them to this career. A Commander I worked for shared his story, which was a simple one. When he was a kid, he happened upon some sort of emergency in his town. There were flashing lights, sirens, police cars everywhere, and a crime scene cordoned off. He remembered watching an officer arrive in a police car and then walk past him into the crime scene. As a kid, my Commander desperately wanted to know what was going on. It dawned on him that the uniformed officer knew what was going on. That was the seed that grew into a police career: Knowing What Was Going On. Despite newer technologies like cellphones and computers in the patrol cars, the primary communication tool is still the police radio. Thanks to modern technology, you can know what's going on by listening in on police radio traffic from around the world for free, on your smartphone. While I don't recommend filling your writing or dialogue with police radio codes and jargon, listening to the communications around where your story is set can be enlightening. Is your story set in an area where a dedicated dispatch center is responsible for tracking dozens of officers at a time, or is the dispatching handled by the one civilian employee back at the office who is also the records clerk? To listen in using iPhone/Apple iOS Devices: Download the free 5-0 Radio App in the App Store. For Android Devices: Download the free Scanner Radio App in the Google Play Store. If you navigate to your story's location and don't get much to listen to, navigate to "LAPD Aero and Special Unit Dispatch" (LAPD calls this frequency "Air / K9") to hear the most serious emergencies in the City of Los Angeles in near realtime.

May 14, 2017

PROPS: FLIR On Saturday morning (by that I mean 0230 in the morning), my helicopter pilot partner and I were called to search a remote area for a suspect that fled on foot from a vehicle pursuit after he crashed his car. I was operating the helicopter's Forward-Looking-InfraRed (FLIR) and using it to look for heat sources ahead of where our canine team was searching. I spotted the suspect about fifty yards ahead of the canine team just as he began running away from the officers. I radioed the K9 Officer who released his German Shepherd partner from his leash. The bad guy tried fighting the canine and quickly became a bloody chew-toy. Once the dummy was in handcuffs, we landed the helicopter and delivered a First Aid kit for bandaging his wounds. Being able to visually "see" heat through a thermograph has been an invaluable tool for law enforcement. Which leads me to this week's second link: Understanding the scientific principles of how FLIR works. Oh how far we've come since the Year 1800 and Sir Frederick William Herschel's discovery of infrared! At the very least, your kids might enjoy the science project of using a prism and a handful of thermometers. To find out what I'm talking about, watch this YouTube video.

STORY: EXTRADITION When bad guys are on the run, they are usually wanted because an arrest warrant was issued demanding their arrest. So what happens when a wanted person is arrested in another state? This short video explains the process of Interstate Extradition.. I have personally traveled out of state for dozens of extraditions, usually bringing the defendant back via a commercial airliner. In this video, you'll see that the process becomes a little more complicated with International Extraditions. As I mentioned in a previous APB regarding the FBI and Interpol, international extraditions involve partner nations that have agreed to reciprocity in a treaty.

May 6, 2017

April 29, 2017

PLOT: “All the pieces matter.” –Det. Lester Freamon, The Wire Your investigation is stalled. You can’t identify your victim, or maybe you only have part of a victim. Perhaps there is a signature to this killing and you want to see if any other homicide investigations have a similar trademark. ViCAP (the Violent Criminal Apprehension Program) is an FBI administered database dedicated to accomplishing exactly that. It was created in the early 1980s, but has since morphed into a secure web-based database that all US law enforcement agencies can access. If your serial killer uses a specific technique or you are looking to identify a Jane/John Doe, then ViCAP is likely the database where the analytical linking to other homicide, kidnapping, or missing person cases will occur. Click here to see the Public's version of current investigations currently seeking leads or information.

APB Email Archive Update published first on http://ift.tt/2pFdZxI

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junker-town · 8 years ago

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A comprehensive study of the pressing question, 'Is it sports?'

Are wings sports? Is parenting sports? Rulings on all your sports queries.

Sports sites have asked themselves “Is it sports?” for as long as sports sites have existed. The question that pops up when the content buckets runneth over into areas that have historically had very little to do with sports, but with which the sports world has become enamored. Dogs, for example, are very much sports — headlines like, “This very good dog likes to tickle himself with his owner's purse” grace publications like the one you’re reading right now.

Many editors have been known to say, “No, drawings of you by your 28-year-old colleague are not sports,” and yet, many sportswriters have persisted. I am one of them. In fact, I have become particularly entrenched in the murky waters of the “is it sports?” swamp, to the point that I regularly field emails and tweets from readers asking me if a certain thing is or isn’t sports.

Please believe me that I didn’t intentionally make “is it sports?” my thing. I wish could say that my master plan has always been to become Her Highness, The Arbiter of Sports, but I possess neither the foresight nor the organizational skills to pull something like this off. In fact, I’m a card-carrying member of the Flying by the Seat of Your Pants Party, and whenever I’ve tried to mastermind something in the past, it’s looked more like the Falcons blowing their 25-point lead than the Patriots winning in overtime.

So how did I get here?

It all began when I started writing recaps of The Bachelorette last year. I didn’t regularly watch the show, but I found it very funny that Aaron Rodgers’ brother and failed NFL player Jordan Rodgers was one of the contestants vying for JoJo Fletcher’s heart. That felt very much like sports, so I decided to track his progress as though he were playing football for as long as he was on the show.

Photo by Cooper Neill/Getty Images for Bud Light

Bud Light: Probably sports

Little did I know that Jordan Rodgers would win The Bachelorette, and I would end up writing about it for the duration of the season, and then all the seasons thereafter until the show ends or I die (the latter will probably happen first). The Bachelor is definitely sports, and I made it my mission to convince the doubters that this is true (fortunately, many other sportswriters share this belief and many websites agree). And by “my mission” I mean I just tweeted “The Bachelor is sports” a lot.

Anyway, from there, things spiraled out of control, and at this point I’ve tweeted “__insert random shit here__ is sports” or “__insert other random shit here___ is not sports” an embarrassing amount of times. Here is a long and slightly depressing list of things I’ve said were sports over the past year.

.@TheWilderThings well here's what we got. http://pic.twitter.com/Xv1vpiUDjf

— Ben Goren (@BenG412) April 20, 2017

I don’t agree with my past self on all of those rulings. I’m not sure what was going on in my head when I dubbed “hot young actors as adults” sports, because that is not sports. Neither is the girl band Fifth Harmony taking a picture. However: space exploration definitely is sports, as is driving a cargo van. And I firmly stand by my belief that being hungover on Amtrak is decidedly not sports but is, instead, the 10th circle of Hell.

This is what this garbage fire of a thought exercise is doing to people.

@TheWilderThings I'm at brunch, not paying attention, but just muttered out loud "are haircuts sports?" And now everyone is looking at my like I'm crazy.

— Graydon Gordian (@MrGordian) April 23, 2017

I’m sorry for everything, including the impending descent further into this rabbit hole that you’re about to experience. But, before we go there, I have to make an important distinction between sports and a sport. A sport is, like, baseball, or soccer, or football. Sports comprise a more nebulous idea.

But there is a set of criteria I use to decide whether something is sports or not.

In order for something to be sports, it has to check off at least four of the following six boxes:

Does it involve competition?

Does it require a significant amount of physical exertion?

Can you write about it on a sports website without a ton of people asking you why you’re writing about it on a sports website?

Can you choose sides?

Would more people be entertained by watching it than wouldn’t be entertained?

Would you do it for fun?

You might think: if we have this list, why do we need you, The Arbiter of Sports? Why are you writing this? Can’t we just determine whether a thing is sports on our own using these criteria? The answer is that you don’t need me at all. But there is a subjective angle — like, you have to define “competition,” and “people,” and “fun” — and if you’re too lazy to do that heavy lifting, I’ll do it for you.

Which brings me to the last and final item on the sports list:

7. Does it feel like sports?

No. 7 is reserved for special cases in which a thing might check all four of the boxes, but it so doesn’t feel like sports that I just can’t let it be sports.

For example: Someone asked me over the weekend if “mansplaining sports” is sports. I’ve run the numbers, and it does meet four of my six criteria. (3, 4, 5, and 6, for the record.) But, because I am the Arbiter of Sports, I’m invoking Rule No. 7 and saying with certainty that no, mansplaining sports is not sports. Mansplaining sports is just bad.

(One of my colleagues is yelling at me about how I shouldn’t need Rule No. 7, because it negates rules 1-6, and that my system is therefore flawed. But this is my blog and he just has to deal with it.)

And now, without further ado, here are some rulings that readers have requested over the past few months.

Are wings sports?

Charlotte Wilder, using a rollerball pen and a whole lot of heart

This was a bad one to start with because it’s so obvious. Yes. Of course wings are sports. Wings are sports in the same way that dogs are good. Wings are what sports would taste like if you could eat them. Wings are flavored with the hearts of the victors and the tears of the losers. Wings are the trophies of the food world. I don’t remember who asked me for a ruling on this one, which is lucky for them, because if I did, I would publicly blog shame them.

Verdict: Wings are sports.

Relatedly: I recently said that I ate too many wings, and everyone was like, “there’s no such thing as too many wings!” But trust me, there is such a thing, and you know it when it happens.

Is Harry Potter sports?

Harry Potter involves competition and physical exertion (they’re always running around with their wands out, trying not to die and shit). You couldn’t really write about it on a sports website unless you’re writing about quidditch [*puts on glasses, flashes Official Nerd Badge*] but you can choose sides — down with Voldemort! People are definitely entertained by Harry Potter, and you definitely do Harry Potter stuff for fun, so:

Harry Potter is sports. So are American Girl Dolls. I know you didn’t ask about American Girl Dolls, and I know they’re not related to Harry Potter, but I just really needed to tell you that.

Is *NSYNC sports?

*NSYNC is a competition in that you’d be like, “I like Justin the best!” and your friend would be like, “Joey is better!” and you’d be like, “What are you, high?”, and they’d be like, “No, I’m not high, I’m in fifth grade, that would be wildly inappropriate.” Or they’d be like, “Yes, of course I’m high, why else would I, a 28-year-old, be arguing with you about who is the better member of *NSYNC?”

*NSYNC definitely requires physical exertion (those guys could dance!), and while you can’t write about it on a sports website, you can choose sides (see the hypothetical conversation above). People are entertained by *NSYNC, and you would definitely do *NSYNC for fun. [Editor’s note: phrasing.]

*NSYNC is sports.

Is timing bathroom breaks at bars during sporting events sports?

This is one of my favorites. Let’s do the math: Yes, it requires competition, in that you have to get to the bathroom before someone else does. Physical exertion? You bet! You can write about this on a sports website, you can choose sides (you always want to be the one who doesn’t have to miss any bit of the game), and it’s very entertaining to watch your friends stress about it. Is it fun? No, but we’re already at five out of six, so...

Bathroom breaks at bars during sporting events are sports.

Is a girlfriend or boyfriend sports?

Charlotte Wilder, using a rollerball pen and a whole lot of heart

Once you’re actually dating someone, dating doesn’t involve that much competition. It does require physical exertion when you have to help your better (or lesser, depending on who you date) half do stuff like move a couch, or when you visit their parents and help their mom, like, plant lettuce or something. Or when you have sex (congrats! Also, sex is sports, but we’re not going to get into that here).

You can’t write about relationships on a sports website unless you’re referring to athletes’ relationships, and most people aren’t athletes, so, no, we’re going to say that box doesn’t get checked. While can choose sides, no one really wants to watch normal people just be in a relationship, so it doesn’t check the entertaining box. I guess you date people for fun? But it’s mostly to stave off the existential dread of dying alone. Three out of six means:

Significant others are not sports.

Is parenting sports?

I have zero experience here, and originally ruled that no, parenting is not a sport. But then my coworkers who have kids were like, “you need to check yourself.” So I checked myself, re-ran the numbers, and found that yes, parenting is sports: There’s competition involved, because sometimes you want your kid to do something and the kid doesn’t want to do it, and then things devolve into a Battle of Wills. Parenting is definitely physically demanding because you have to not only birth a child, but also carry them around until they can walk.

You can write about parenting on a sports website in terms of whether you opt for zone or man-to-man coverage if you have more than one kid. You can definitely choose sides — Team Kid or Team Mom or Team Dad — but I don’t think anyone is, like, dying to watch you raise a kid, so no: it’s not entertainment. And humans do it mostly to satisfy an evolutionary urge to procreate and love something deeply, rather than for fun. That puts us at four out of six, so, therefore:

Parenting is sports.

Is tailgating sports?

Charlotte Wilder, using a rollerball pen and a whole lot of heart

Yes, ugh, another one we don’t need the checklist for. Who keeps asking these obvious questions? C’mon guys, be better.

Tailgating is sports.

Are haircuts sports?

Haircuts can be competitive, sure — I Googled it and haircutting competitions exist. Haricuts aren’t that physically demanding, though, and you can only write about it on a sports website if it has to do with athletes. You can’t really choose sides — unless hating a haircut is choosing sides? It can be entertaining to watch, but it’s not something you do for fun. It’s more out of necessity.

So, no, I guess haircuts aren’t sports. But they really feel like sports, so I may have to invoke Rule No. 7. Though I don’t want to abuse it, so:

Jury’s still out on this one. Feel free to weigh in.

Is karaoke sports?

“AND I NEED YOU NOWWWW TOONIIIIGHT, I FUCKIN’ NEED YOU MOOOORE THAN EVER! AND IF YOU ONLY HOOOLLLD ME TIGHT—”

Yes, karaoke is sports.

Is LinkedIn sports?

[*Points to Rule No. 7*] Hell no.

But, while I have you here, how would you feel about being added to my professional network?

If you have a question about whether something is sports or not, tweet me @thewilderthings, shoot me an email at [email protected], or send me a carrier pigeon.

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ronaldmrashid · 8 years ago

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Focus On Trends: Why I’m Investing In The Heartland Of America

If you can correctly predict a trend, not only will you earn a much higher return on your investment, you’ll also suffer less anxiety and grief.

During the financial crisis, I realized it was now or never to start a website to at least try and take advantage of web 2.0. I had no plan. All I knew was my happy days were numbered due to a structural decline in the banking industry. Increased regulation and narrowing spreads were compressing compensation and making work less fun. Eight years later, Financial Samurai is now an established brand in the personal finance space that’s generating positive cash flow.

Some of you may be thinking my career choice, investment in real estate and growth of my website were all just luck. No doubt since I’m a lazy bastard. Further, not everybody can be so fortunate to be born Asian and work in America! Others, however, may be wondering, “So what’s the next trend?” After all, you deserve to know based on all the money you guys pay me to read this site each day. Wait a minute, only one of you sent in a donation of $100 bucks when I asked. No matter!

In my opinion, the next money making trend is investing in the heartland of America through real estate. Let me share with you my top down thinking. Feel free to share your thoughts at the end as well.

Investing In The Heartland Of America

Do you know who is guaranteed to lose their job in 2017? Hopefully none of you loyal Financial Samurai readers who don’t let your personal political views cloud your financial goals.

The people who need to find new jobs this year are the approximate 7,000 staffers appointed to U.S. government positions by President Obama’s team. That’s just the way it is as President Trump takes reign for the next four years and chooses his own people.

While the private sector operates without a similar Hatch Act restriction, common sense says it’s still better not to go crazy if your boss has a different political point of view.

Who Else Wins Or Loses?

Now that we know from a personnel level who the winners and losers are of a Trump victory, let’s take a look at the election results from a macro level.

Blue states are losers for the next 4 years at least

You might now be wondering, how can there be such a county-level landslide victory for Trump when Hillary won the popular vote by close to 2.9 million? The answer simply lies in demographics.

Half the country lives in the blue areas, the other half of the country lives in the grey areas

Facing Reality

Now that we know the basics of what’s going on, it’s important to face the reality that you are a loser if you live in one of the losing counties or states in America.

I’ve lived in San Francisco for 16 years, have property in Hawaii, and want to return to Hawaii permanently within the next 5 years to live the dream life.

If President Trump takes some or all of that $1 billion funding away, all San Francisco residents will lose because we’ll all be forced to pay higher taxes to help fund our inefficient city government and its underfunded pension system. Higher taxes will result in more inefficiency, less consumer spending, less corporate spending, less hiring and a slowdown in growth. A loss of sanctuary status also means potentially less supply of labor for lower paying jobs.

A list of sanctuary cities in America which may lose funding under a Trump Presidency

Hence, the obvious solution is to accept my situation and instead move CAPITAL towards America’s most favorable cities and states instead.

The Easiest Way To Move Capital To Winning Cities, Counties And States

An easy way to invest in a Trump Presidency is to look at the sectors that should benefit from his victory. These winning sectors include pharma / biotech, banks, energy, infrastructure and defense. The idea is that less regulation and more government spending should be a boon for these five industries. We’ve seen these sectors perform quite well since the election victory. They could potentially continue to outperform if earnings surprise on the upside.

Donald Trump’s America by Tim Wallace at The NYT

Because of government restrictions, I can’t highlight the current live deals on the platform, but you can sign up and see them for yourself. I can provide a snapshot of some exited deals on RealtyShares. All deals had successful returns, and all deals except for the New Jersey deal qualify as an investment in Trump’s America.

Investing in the heartland of America made easy

Every project is different, so spend time reading the research each sponsor puts together on the platform before making a decision.

Take Advantage Of The Trend

Good investors always think about secular changes, regardless of where they stand on the political spectrum. Thus, I believe Red state real estate should outperform over the next 4+ years because:

A Republican president will give back to the people who got him there.

There will be a net migration out of Blue states into Red states as more people realize it’s a great deal living in Texas if you can get 3X as much for 1/3rd the price.

The remote work trend will continue due to technology and a tight labor market.

Sanctuary cities are at risk of seeing their federal funding pulled and reallocated to Red cities.

Income growth should be higher in Red states due to demographic shifts.

Now that investing in real estate is more efficient, Red State 10%+ cap rates compared to <4% cap rates in Blue cities are too hard to ignore

A potential expansion of who can invest in real estate crowdsourcing will lead to an increase in demand and prices.

The rise of real estate crowdsourcing platforms increases the supply of capital, thereby increasing the demand and prices of previously hard to tap investments.

The biggest risk to my investment thesis is that jobs don’t return to the Red states due to failure by the new administration to make it attractive for American and foreign companies to invest in our heartland. With the likes of General Motors, Walmart, Softbank, Carrier and others announcing new investments in America, so far so good. However, given we’re eight years into a recovery, it’s important to invest carefully and gradually build your portfolio.

In an upcoming post, I will highlight a simple real estate crowdsourcing investment framework I will follow to build a $250,000 real estate crowdsourcing position over the next year. You should find it logical and useful if you plan to invest as well. In the meantime, please share your thoughts as to why I might not get lucky a fourth time around with this investment trend forecast. The more negative arguments, the better!

Readers, are you interested in investing in the heartland of America? If so, what other ways do you plan to do so if not through real estate crowdsourcing? I’m open to all ideas.

from http://www.financialsamurai.com/focus-on-investment-trends-why-im-investing-in-the-heartland-of-america/

#Financial Samurai

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