#okay i made myself sad again
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
thebatcreature Ā· 11 months ago
Text
Bruce loves visiting Kents at the farm and spending time with them. He's always having the best time over there. but sometimes seeing Clark being childlike around Martha and Jonathan, specially being such a mama's boy... it just makes something ache in him.
84 notes Ā· View notes
moonchild-in-blue Ā· 7 months ago
Text
Thank you for the tag @tonguetyd! My spoons are indeed low but my sleep schedule is GONE so. Random burst of energy let's go.
I didn't know what artist to pick because I didn't want an obvious (?) one, so I'm going super niche and choosing Bright Eyes because it's been a minute since I've talked about them, and they're one of my favourites šŸ’™
Artist: Bright Eyes
How do you feel: Nothing Gets Crossed Out
What is your gender: Bowl Of Oranges (obviously funny but also it's a beautiful song! poetic storytelling!)
If you could go anywhere: Lua
Favorite mode of transportation: Driving Fast Through A Big City At Night (yes that is the title)
Your best friend: First Day Of My Life šŸ„¹
Favorite time of day: Sunrise, Sunset
If your life was a tv show: A Line Allows Progress, A Circle Does Not
Relationship status: I Won't Ever Be Happy Again šŸ„²
Your fear: Waste Of Paint
Idk who made this or not so I'm tagging randomly, no pressure to do this whatsoever! @dearscone @corviisquire @hookedhobbies @politemagic (hi!) @leonsleftbicep @melit0n
15 notes Ā· View notes
dazais-guardian-angel Ā· 5 months ago
Text
With today's entry, I was rather surprised and confused that Johnathan seemed to turn around so quickly from the absolute pit of despair he was in yesterday, having newfound determination and energy when he's seemingly been completely hopeless and inactive for weeks now (and for good reason). Not that I ever thought he'd completely given up, but there's definitely been a slow decline in how descriptive his journal entries have been to reflect his declining mental state (more robotic, less of his actual feelings about things), and today was a sharp contrast; it feels more like the early entries again. I thought, well, his mind is probably just so cracked at this point that he's looped all the way back around to being bold and energetic again, because by now he's desperate enough to throw caution to the wind: he either succeeds doing something extremely reckless to escape, or he fails and meets his end in a far better way than if he just waits for his fate by Dracula's hands.
...But having thought about it and reading other posts, I realized (probably stupidly obvious as it is) that his sudden change in mood probably has to do with what happened to the baby. Despite how scared he's been all this time, yesterday he didn't hesitate for a single second to try to save the baby once he realized from the previous incident what was happening, not thinking about his own life at all. And then he despaired when he couldn't save the child, the first time he's mentioned crying in the book at all, and then he had to witness the mother blaming him for her baby's death, and being killed herself for trying to rescue it. Now, the day after that horrific and heartbreaking failure, he's suddenly more determined than he's been in ages to escape. Maybe that was a turning point for Johnathan, and lit a fire under him... maybe he's clinging to the need to escape not just for himself and the people he loves anymore, but for the vain hope that he can put a stop to Dracula's schemes somehow once he gets out, because he doesn't want to let any more children die :' )
79 notes Ā· View notes
unheavenlybody Ā· 1 month ago
Text
9 year friendship officially ended. i want to throw up. going to rot in bed and listen to music now
25 notes Ā· View notes
cardinal-hexation Ā· 11 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
I donā€™t wanna talk about it
85 notes Ā· View notes
karlkapri Ā· 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
ā€• Louise GlĆ¼ck, The Seven Ages
Hockey Poetry Post 37/?
(Photo credit: Francois Lacasse, Minas Panagiotakis, Mike Carlson, link, Vincent Ethier, Scott Audette, Francois Lacasse, Scott Audette, Scott Audette, Dave Sandford, link, Francois Lacasse, link, Mark Blinch, Mark Blinch, Brett Holmes, link, Mark Blinch, Jeff Bottari)
169 notes Ā· View notes
broodygaming Ā· 2 years ago
Text
Man oh man, it confuses me, very genuinely that ppl dont think that Beau and Yasha were a good end pairing. That they donā€™t see it. Idk. I catches me off guard every time I read it because, to me I suppose, they go together like... Chocolate ganache. You heat the milk, pour in the chocolate and stir and stir.... and youā€™re staring at it and thereā€™s awkward chocolate chunks and itā€™s just milk with chocolate, oh my god Iā€™ve messed it up, itā€™s sticking to the bottom omfg ive wasted ALL this milk holy shit Iā€™m an idiot and - Bam. Suddenly. One last little stir and it magically transforms before your eyes into smooth rich brown chocolate ganache.Ā Ā 
Idk. For me. They are this fascinating twirling of strong forces that at some point just meld together to make this beautiful thing neither of them could have ever even visualized. The dichotomy of two violent women who have been battered by the world. Told over and over how Destructive they are. Who have destroyed each other in all these crazy situations? Who have been lauded as machines of war and bastions of retribution or cast out asĀ ā€œtoo much to deal withā€..... These two women who have been taught over and over again that EVERY single fucking hand that touches.... strikes.... So strike back and first before they get the fucking chance....Ā 
Gods be damned do they deserve gentleness.Ā 
And not to say thereā€™s not many places you can find that. But the idea of standing there, holding your broken parts and looking around to find someone to help you... Not fix you, just help you hold them all... And the peace someone might feel handing them to someone whose hands have known pain. Someone whose hands are scarred and battered and tough. Someone who wonā€™t be shocked to see so many broken parts. Someone who is carrying their own armful and a few more of yours wonā€™t be a huge burden. Someone who fucking gets it. You know? I just think of Beau sliding into that hot bath and thinking of the kind words. Not even just kind words, but the acknowledgment and the sincerity.Ā 
The...Ā ā€œI see you. I see you. And Iā€™m not looking away. I will carry these pieces with you, if you might also carry some of mineā€.Ā 
254 notes Ā· View notes
charmre Ā· 3 months ago
Text
Car window weatherstrips, installed!! \o/
Though I was a little sad, I have like rain window cover things?? At the top of the windows?? And when I asked about how to take them off so I could put on my vinyls, my dad told me that he glued them on...so they're stuck there...made me sad, but I guess the vinyls were only like $6 or something so there's that
4 notes Ā· View notes
lightblueminecraftorchid Ā· 10 days ago
Text
My roommate and I had a conversation last night and I keep rotating it in my brain and I Donā€™t Like It
#blue chatter#they called me a resilient person. and no the fuck I am not. I break down so easily over everything and my body is falling apart on me.#I scream in terror when someone knocks on the door too hard the fuck you mean Iā€™m good at handling adversity#I pointed out that I freak out whenever my grade gets low even a little bit#and they were just sitting there like ā€˜yeah. and then you pick yourself up again and you do the work.ā€™#and no? not always? oftentimes I give up and donā€™t try hard enough to fix it and let points go that I could have earned#I barely ever go for extra credit opportunities and Iā€™ve never gone to office hours of my own free will#I canā€™t even think about talking to a professor about a bad grade without wanting to cry? hello?#but they were insistent that even with those things I am still managing Incredibly Well in class given the circumstances. which made me#uncomfortable. like. I donā€™t think of myself as resilient At All and I feel a bit like Iā€™m lying or tricking them.#I start shaking like a chihuahua when people are upset and Iā€™m In The Vicinity. even when theyā€™re clearly not upset with me.#I really struggle to advocate for myself ever and even when I do I usually feel guilty and walk it back partway so I donā€™t cause a fight#and I always get way too emotional for the situation when someone has anything theyā€™re upset with me for. which isnā€™t fair to them bc I need#to be able to take constructive criticism without taking it as a personal attack on me.#like what the fuck do you mean *resilient*. I canā€™t even handle seeing a bug flying near my face or getting a B in a class. or being told#that I did something wrong. Iā€™m actually significantly worse at handling adversity than I used to be. high school me was a resilientish kid.#and itā€™s not like I was ever *good* at handling my emotions. even when it was essential for my safety. Iā€™ve always cried way too easily#even when it actively made the situation I was in Much Worse. even when I knew better.#I would get angry and scared and sad and start shaking and crying and even screaming at my parents when they were mad at me even though#I knew that it would always make my life much worse. and extend an already beleaguered argument.#I brought this up with my therapist and she was like ā€˜well. anybody would have done that if they were treated like you wereā€™.#which. okay. maybe so. I still feel like I should have been able to handle it and just shut up and move on and not make it worse.#but I am aware that this is probably a cognitive distortion. even so. that definitely doesnā€™t make me resilient.#I just. I feel gross being called resilient. Iā€™m not. Iā€™m weak and easily scared and unable to handle even small amounts of adversity.#the fuck is my roommate even *seeing*.#the annoying part is that theyā€™re generally an insightful person about other people and I know logically that theyā€™re probably right#which is why Iā€™m not going to complain any more about this to their face bc I should just drop it and not make it a Thing#I talk too much about myself and my problems anyway. not every conversation has to be about my brain worms.#but the discomfort is Distinct and Unpleasant. and now Iā€™m just having to sit with it. and Feel Uncomfortable. and try to accept what was#definitely intended as a compliment. I know itā€™s draining to talk to someone who doesnā€™t accept any of the kind things you say about them.
4 notes Ā· View notes
arrietty-rune Ā· 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media
Sometimes i feel useless and annoying
24 notes Ā· View notes
carniecarnage Ā· 3 months ago
Text
small talking to myself kinda post pay no mind
#Iā€™ve been wondering a lot about myself and my place in things again lately#Been thinking about my identity and who I want to present as and how I act#Someone who I used to consider my best friend broke me down so miserably that Iā€™ve grown to hate myself for everything-#that they would shit on me for.#It makes me think about when I was like that to someone I cared about#And it makes me really fucking sad#Iā€™m proud to say Iā€™m not that person anymore but knowing I invited it back into my life-#through another person that I continuously made excuses for#Itā€™s like I felt obligated to be miserable as some stupid egotistic self righteous karma#And I truly hate that. I hate that I let it go on for so long because I hated myself too much to change it#Itā€™s okay now but I still reflect on it often#Iā€™m constantly wondering if Iā€™ll go back to being shitty or if Iā€™m letting myself be abused again#Itā€™s messed with my view of myself. My view of my looks. Of my gender. Of my trauma#Of my humor. Of my tastes. Literally everything#I havenā€™t been able to repair my trust with myself enough to trust others and it fuckin blows man#It sounds stupid saying it out loud I guess#But I canā€™t keep bottling it or I might implode#I think that things will be fine with time and continued effort#Just need to spend some time really thinking about where I want to be in the future#I think I want to start therapy but voluntarily this time#Maybe a professional will be able to help me sort it out#vent#rant
3 notes Ā· View notes
girlthativealwaysbeen Ā· 3 months ago
Text
it would feel so nice to work towards a career that has meaningful impact and makes millions of people happy
#i follow this person cleo abrams on youtube and she's always talking so excitedly about scientists#and their amazing discoveries cool facts and she's so excited and starry eyed and hopeful#she genuinely just wants to educate people and has so much hope that we can make the world a better place#also like idk maybe unrelated but i saw the mv of new romantics and just. wow#say what you will about her but there's no doubt she's made an insane number of people happy SO HAPPY that they're crying#so many tours#idk i want#i wish my life was bigger#i feel so isolated and always just focusing on myself my career my health my enjoyment#what about everything everyone else#i keep trying to be completely okay with being alone i keep telling myself to not need anyone and be 100% independent#find happiness within hobbies interests#but it feels like a losing battle#i don't know i just. miss everyone šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­#but it hurts too much tbh always more sad than happy always more crying than laughing#i miss my bestfriend i don't know what i did wrong but she won't pick up my call she keeps saying she's busy#i don't want to be clingy because she hates that shit i don't want to drive her away but she's my only friend#i miss my fucking mom she doesn't care if i live or die obviously but i miss just having her presence in the house#and even tho my sister is here she's never fully present always on her laptop working#i wouldn't really say i miss my dad but wow it's been so long since mom and dad stayed together at home it was almost#always miserable but sometimes at the lunch table it was nice#i don't know everything and everyone is moving and changing so fast and i can't breathe under it and it's already september#but this entire year felt like a blur it's like everyone who left took a chunk of my heart with them#and i should be happy because im so close to the exam which will get me out of this house finally be financially independent#like i wanted since i was 11 i could finally start my life#but it all feels so. i don't know the whole future seems black like i can't imagine life past november 2025#how do you imagine happiness if you've never been happy?#and all these feelings are making it so hard to study and studying is so fucking important because if i don't ill be stuck here forever#and i don't want to go thru attempts fail and pass again atleast back then i had a reason first heartbreakā€š not getting to go to college#but what now why now i don't even understand i know objectively i do not have it that bad it's literally better even if i compare to my own
3 notes Ā· View notes
milo-is-rambling Ā· 9 months ago
Text
Quick Netflix play the Tuca and Bertie episode where Bertie has intrusive pastry pete memory/fantasy masturbation and then has panic attacks and tries to get rid of her vibe and her bed to magically fix herself. Umm. No reason why I wanna watch that one tho. Itā€™s fine. No comment.
3 notes Ā· View notes
hecksupremechips Ā· 7 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadnā€™t be shot, his death wouldā€™ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "donā€™t cry because Iā€™m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I donā€™t think thatā€™s badass even slightly, itā€™s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally canā€™t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when heā€™s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that heā€™s not worth crying over
Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldnā€™t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too šŸ˜°
#its like okay listen i understand the basic math of any persona game they say things and everything they say is actually#very bad when you think about it for more than 3 seconds#like what theyre intending to do with the death of this character is be like oh no your sad friend dies tragically thats so saddddd#but that doesnt mean you cant live a wonderful life full of meaning you cant let grief consume you life is beautiful awagga#and i guess shinji is a specific character whos used cuz i guess its more tragic that he never realized he was worthy of life and shit#and i guess its also like ā€˜dont be like this guy who let grief consume him and then died you gotta Be Differentā€™#which i dont. love. that last part cuz if you think about shinji and what led him down this road#its like. of course hes depressed! he accidentally killed a woman with a child when he was 16!#he himself is an orphan and he just made some other kid an orphan as well and it happened cuz his persona went out of control#which very much can translate to ā€˜this must mean im dangerous and can hurt everyone if im not kept under controlā€™#so of course he isolated himself and believed he was evil and became suicidal like who wouldnt feel that way#like am i supposed to be mad he left sees and took drugs cuz uh while i dont think isolation or Evil Drug is good for his mental health#i dont think him continuing to fight in sees is something he can just easily do again given how he killed someone like he shouldnt have to#be a part of this thing anymore like how would he even safely get castor to not do that??? he cant kill more people on accident!#so yeah like using shinji as an example of bad coping mechanisms is already just. a big fucking oof to me like it just feels like the game#is saying he shouldve gotten over it and simply not be suicidal and stayed on the team. idk if thats the intent but uh it wouldnt faze me#cuz persona games are notoriously awful at writing characters who are traumatized and abused#but what makes everything even worse is how the game kinda like. acts like shinjis death is a stepping stone#like weā€™re supposed to use it as a wake up call and understand the stakes but keep going on anyways#and akihiko and Ken get. ā€˜great character developmentā€™ according to the game telling you they have now developed#but damn all akihiko is is just repressed he cries for 3 seconds and then is like I SHOULD MAN UP and then neglects a depressed child#shinjis dying words are words to live by now even though they piss me the fuck off like girl am i crazy HES FUCKING#HES TELLING ME NOT TO CRY OVER HIM BECAUSE HE SHOULD BE DEAD ACTUALLY AND THIS IS A GOOD THING ACTUALLY#like if the game wants us to still find meaning in life despite losing someone it just really hurts that shinji has to die for that to work#apparently. cuz the character i see myself in is shinji. not some perfect prettyboy who does everything perfectly and has 4 gfs#his death seems like a punishment for bad behavior. the bad behavior being of course depression and drug use. and im simply supposed to be#better than that if i want to live. and we dont get to form a connection with him cuz thats gayyyyy#and his death is like a NOBLE HEROIC SACRIFICE idk its just such bullshit to me i hate it so bad#how is killing a suicidal guy and then treating it as admirable that he said ā€˜this is how it should beā€™ supposed to make me feel#makes me feel sick personally and it ruins the entire gameā€™s theme to me because its fucking shallow and the story is bad and im tired
3 notes Ā· View notes
that-was-anticlimactic Ā· 2 years ago
Text
thereā€™s something so sacred about sharing what you love with others: whether it be a song or food or clothes, a show or a movie or pictures. it's just... such a deep and personal thing, you know? having someone carve out a little part of their heart and gift it to you with an abundance of joy and excitement and passion... yeah.
#i lowkey had an awful day today lol#and it was my first day taking over as teacher so that's a great way to start it#there are people in seventh period who literally despise me and maybe that's an exaggeration but i looked over their creative writing for#the day and one of those kids literally wrote about how he was having a good day but then it turned into a bad day when i started the#creative writing with them so that was great and other stuff happened idk and one of my tics was really... uh... present today and i was so#aware of it and i feel like everyone was laughing at me because of it even tho ik that was just me being self-conscious but God i wanted to#cry and i shared a piece of my heart with them today for the creative writing exercise and so many of them just. told me how awful it was#like someone straight up started with 'this song is terrible' and then proceeded to write a paragraph about how bad it was#idk. it made me feel like a young kid again - sitting by myself on the playground and reading books. like i was in middle school and#everyone was telling me that the things that i loved were stupid. like i was a kid getting teased just lowkey enough that the teachers#couldn't tell because it wasn't necessarily outright bullying but they were making fun of what i loved which Hurts and then i was in high#school having to defend what i love and then in college hearing 'you ruined this for me because you liked it too much' and it just. idk.#it hurts. i find sharing passions and what i love with others so sacred and important and it Hurts when they just tear it and you down and#ik they're juniors and ik there will always be people like that but it was constant and idk. i'm just sad lol#so anyways even if someone shares something with you that you don't like there is literally No reason to be rude about it. you're allowed#to say you dislike it but it's not okay to just tell them straight up it's stupid or awful or you'd rather get hit by a car than hear the#song again. hm. ig i have some unresolved trauma lol#sorry for the rant y'all i just. needed to rant ig idk
23 notes Ā· View notes
taegularities Ā· 1 year ago
Note
Rid I'm so sad that you're receiving this hate but for me you're one of the kindest people in here. I'm always rooting for you. Sending hugs. šŸ„°
thank you babe, i think i needed to hear this.. you're the sweetest, all the hugs back šŸ„ŗšŸ¤
8 notes Ā· View notes