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20/10 stars little guy
#me (scrounging undetected autist whose ideal fashion sense is ''if i have to be seen at all: shrouded'') seeing encanto the other month.....#and on top of it all i LOVE slice of life. encanto being so focused on What It's About that there's so much of that + character / dynamic#also part of what i loved abt pixar luca. ppl like ''simple story but not a problem :)'' like YEAH thank god it's Also so slice of lifey#2021 what a year lol. though again i only Just saw encanto....tfw Studio Creative Control backs off a bit more than usual: Joy & Wonders#anyway i knew going in bruno wasn't an antagonist (fine if he was though b/c slay & b/c scapegoats can do whatever they want)#knew i'd love him b/c again Scapegoat shows up & i'm the Amazing Showstopping Totally Unique Never The Same gif on loop#but what a delight even beyond those expectations lol. love again how Focused the movie is on What It's About & Thee Points it makes#the Characters / Dynamics & the Metaphor & the plot stays right with all of that. the focus & importance re: thee scapegoats....#& bruno being disabled like whole layer of Yay Yay Yay spamming. that even when He's Back we're reminded he's not ''normal now'' or w/e#(i.e. presenting that as The Good Ending for the disabled outcast. vs just being embraced as part of the group again & accepted As He Is)#meanwhile was like hmm chat is there queercoding do we think? like is he queer: Yes. but is there coding? hmm#sure isn't cishet coded though. but i was also having the thought like fellas is it gay to [higher tenor tessitura or w/e] lol#made me go ''do i know this voice? ok do i know this name / face / actor? (i have never seen anything ever / bad w/names/faces/voices)''#indeed was like yeah haven't seen this; heard of this; seen it once ages ago no way i remember more than like 0.6 details#then from ''ohh haha I'm A Mammal That Cares....yeah i hear that'' to ''omg CHI-CHI RODRIGUEZ???? ;;0;;'' waaah fantastic revelation lmao#also the way Literal Future Seer ability was externalized to make it more wrangleable for plot is so impressive & fun & excellent#got a lot of [i like this thing i saw a lot] i got to say....guess i can do that w/the sideblog i made for one drawing i made last night#encanto 2021#bruno madrigal#also the way bruno is so Nervous + Hiding / Bold + Big Personality like yes ha ha ha Yes....tamped down as ''too much'' experience#also the [stuttering stumbling muttering mumbling] line: i fr nigh wept upon going back over a moment like what am i hearing here?#& realizing the answer was: it's bruno quietly stuttering a moment during this one line (& then (& then (& then)) i saw you) ;;;mm;;;#hang onnn....the first scapegoat who's driven off being Disabled is so real so ;m; that again they're like so he got Weirder; Okay ;;m;;#that we get jorge thumbs up nobody having an Aside to be like [ugh; this guy] or Anything. augh always have too much to say for 30 tags#fabric drape there sure not accurate but i was like okay if i try to really reference that i'm not getting this done tonight
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Just realized my mom MIGHT'VE been a bit abusive
#okay so pre story knowledge you need to know#I have an eating disorder called ARFID which essentially is just extreme picky eating#but like also not because I've literally been coughing into a trash can from just a slightly strange texture#multiple times#anyways she was telling me about how when i was little she would make me stay at the table till I finished my food#that part is NOT news to me I'm well aware#But APPARENTLY when I was 6 ish she also would wrap the food I didn't eat and give it to me the next day to eat#she would also lock the pantry and refrigerator so I couldn't snack#and it got so bad to the point she caught me late a night eating CORNMEAL#FROM THE TOP CABINET#because I was just so hungry and it was the one thing she didn't lock up because who just eats cornmeal#😭#anyways actual tags now!!!!!!#red vs blue#rvb#rooster teeth#edit#locus rvb#felix rvb#felix mcscouty#samuel ortez#rvb locus#rvb felix#issac gates#lolix
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dress up with jotchie
JOTCHIE OUTFIT PHILOSOPHY YOU'RE DYING TO HEAR I KNOW
why does he dress like a cartoon character? well because he is one. um. it just makes my life easier when everyone has an assigned color. jotchie's is green. really though green is more his accent color when it comes to wardrobe, he mainly wears black.
generally i go for a bottom heavy silhouette, ironically for as much as he hates sleeves he actually enjoys pants. but he likes shorts too, so it's not a super hard and fast rule.
i basically always go for a bold pant over a bold shirt for him. his collar and earrings and face make the upper third kind of busy already, so i feel like bold shirts get too busy really fast. even the funny graphic tees get a little busy, so i'll sanction the fun colors and patterns for pants (his ref sheet has camo pants i'm just FACKING LASY)
keep it slutty, keep those puppies out, keep it color scheme and you've got a jotch 👍
#i love banana monkey#the alt outfit i came up with was so overdue i've been trying to bullshit his regular tank top with the g string showing for too long#somwthing in my brain was stopping me from showing his midriff for some reason. IDK WHY. but it's okay. he's here to stay#but yeah have fun yayyyyy jotchie i miss my boys i missed him badly#art#joshua#ocs#i used like all my video game time for this my life is in fucking shambles
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If you've never heard an LRAD go off in person, I *genuinely* do not want to hear your opinion about methods of resistance in the US.
#i'm so fucking sick#wifey and i are pretty sure we got COVID so we've been isolating and trying to stay well#this is now at least my 2nd infection though#and you can tell too#wifey has been having trouble keeping me fed and hydrated and CONSCIOUS because I'm so tired I can barely function#this is despite sleeping for 12 hrs a day the past two days#and being fully medicated (or as fully medicated as I can be)#and on top of that my hypotension has been acting up severely since getting sick and I can barely walk 10ft b4 losing consciousness#i've haven't started throwing up my food and water yet but I've come pretty close especially early in the morning#anyway the point is that I am like. visibly being hit with an autoimmune aggravator not just a normal cold#and unfortunately#I'm taking it harder this time than the last#wifey is doing okay and mostly experienced it as a headcold with severe fatigue#she's pretty much better now a week or so out from starting to show symptoms#we....don't like when she gets hit that hard tho because it usually means I'm about to get bodied#pattern is holding so far regrettably lmao#anyway#my point is that I'm sick and angry and grieving and I really want to hit something or set it on fire#but i can't because i can barely move or even stay awake#and this is literally all my personal hell#as a result i am finding that I have a uhhhhhhhhhh unreasonably low threshhold for irritation recently
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Mum gave me a Task™ and I took it on and almost immediately realised it was a Big Task™ but I didn't realise like immediately immediately so I started and now I'm frozen bc I started it but I cannot finish it bc it requires Energy that I did not set aside and I don't see the point in doing this and there is a mess from starting that I need to get rid of and I wanna do smt else but I can't until I clear the mess up a little bit it'll remain in part bc this task is unfinished and. My dear friends I am feeling Very Neurodivergent in this moment
#anne speaks#i am not having fun#i fucking love my mum but she always tries to trick me into doing some kind of task im not prepared for#and i TOLD her i'd do it on my own terms. and then i started immediately bc it seemed fine and okay#and then. it wasn't#it's unpacking theatre tickets and notes and notebooks and other miscellaneous shit from my college and uni years btw#so that it can be put away#why the fuck it cannot stay in its current box i don't fucking understand#it fits perfectly. if the box is in the way i will move it#i don't need to reorganise?? why does she want me to reorganise???#the bag on top i get. i sorted through that ish. that was easy#and then she was like “here's a box to put the stuff from that other box into” IT'S ALREADY IN A BOX??? WHY AM I DOING THIS#so now the stuff that was contained in one bag and one box has spread to two boxes plus half a bag and. this is worsening the problem#how does she not realise that#genuinely why#okay i think i got it out of my system. i may be able to sort my shit a little better now#not sure where to but. whatever. we're gonna give it a go i guess
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sleepmaxxing because why bother
#have such a headache#because my sleep has been okay at best#I'm not eating much#and straight up just barely drinking at all#i am one more day of this away from like catastrophic dehydration#and even with the awareness over the last two days i cannot seem to get on top of it#i need to just live in a zoo and have a caretaker to keep me alive#i am not cut out for the staying alive thing it's just not for me#m
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#horrible awful no good very bad day#apparently last night the apartment below ours caught fire and we were out of town#and we didnt find out til several hours later from our neighbor who had to track me down on facebook- we didnt hear a thing#from the apartment in any official capacity until like? 10 hours after the fire?#anyway we rushed home supremely early from a friend trip that was like#meant to be very good and fun#anyway so we rush home because no one can tell us if our cats are okay#and they were but our whole apartment is supremely smoky and all of our possessions are extremely smoky#and we cant stay there or let the cats stay there because of the smoke and soot and particles it just doesnt feel safe#so now im in my partners familys house which is like#fine but its full of people and i dont feel fully comfortable and i cant fully relax and and and and and etc etc etc etc#and tomorrow i have to wake up early and go over there and find out what if anything the complex plans to do about it and how long its gonna#be until we can come back safely. or more likely get more noncommittal answers and be unsure#and i dont know how long i can stay here and be normal#AND to top it all off i paid like 60$ to go to an aquarium i didnt even get to go to . but yknow. all of my friends got to !#and like im happy for them but no one was excited as i was and now i get to ruminate on how everyone got to do the fun thing i love#while i was stuck doing 17 loads of laundry and bathing the soot out of my cats fur in someone elses house#certainly it could be worse and im glad my cats are fine and im glad its just smoke damage and not yknow. Burn damage#but im having a sad little pity party anyway because i was supposed to have an amazing beautiful day ending in a relaxing evening#in my own home#and now i have to cope with all of this instead. all i want to do is cry#and also like. im scared we will have to move#but im also scared we wont... because like#i think it was a gas issue. and knowing that that happened in my building? and also knowing how much landlords love to halfass#repairs and everything else#i just dont know how safe i will feel there#even if they tell me its fine#anyway sorry for the tag vent post again my old ways will never die#ghost posts
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they look half dead ☹️
#weezer#rivers cuomo#brian bell#patrick wilson#matt sharp#i rlly like rivers’ hair in this one! it’s epicness#i liked his hair in the 90s with his bowl cut.#bowl cuts are cool#and he looked great w it !#anyways yesterday was my boyfriend’s birthday party; and i got him some chaos emeralds from sonic that he’s been wanting like ; forever!#it was fun for the most part; but nobody told me we would be swimming plus i was the only girl there sooo i was just sitting around while#everybody swam and stuff. and my friend hayden i guess felt bad so he stayed out of the pool despite having swimwear and just played mobile#games with me; which was fun and i really appreciated but this guy ; who will remain nameless was being rlly mean to me at the party#like he was saying stuff abt how my boyfriend didn’t really like me THAT much (we have been together for nearly a year…)#and other things like that; which made me rlly sad and i kept asking my mom to pick me up but she wasn’t answering so i couldn’t do anything#besides trying not to cry and stuff. but it’s okay#and after everybody went inside besides me and my boyfriend ; we were cleaning up the table since the guys left all their trash and i had#like a whole pile of trash; like tons of plates and a whole stack of trash still; the guy from earlier who was mean just like#put his trash on top of the trash i was already carrying inside#since the guys were all crowded around the trash cans (he was closest; but he couldn’t throw it away; rather he wanted to deliberately just#put it on the pile i was carrying ) and it wouldn’t be a big deal if he wasn’t mean earlier; i wouldn’t have cared so much#but he was being real mean and just did that. and i’m a passive person ; but i rolled my eyes a ton at it and idk it felt like the#other guys were laughing; which made me feel even more awful about the fact but yeah so i rolled my eyes tons and he told my bf that he was#sorry about it; but didn’t say it to me and stuff and idk it just made me feel bad#when i was younger i got bullied a lot and people would throw their trash on my lunch tray n it just reminded me of that and made me sad;#but it’s okay now! other than that i had a good time and it was fun! my boyfriend said he loved my gift to him so ya! :D it was fun other#than the stuff with the guy! but yeah. not rlly weezer related tags today; just really wanted to get that off my chest#my boyfriends mom asked if i felt left out; which i definetly did and really wanted to go home but ik i couldn’t so i was just sitting at a#table alone for abt 20 mins while everybody was changingninitially#but it’s okay! ty for listening to my rant i love u all
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okay I’m going insane I need to fix my sleep schedule now
#I cannot keep getting up at/after midday this is driving me crazy#SO. I’m gonna not do ice hockey for a little bit until I can get myself normal#I want to step away from ice hockey anyway bc the new committee are being annoying and I need them to stop making me do things#tonight I will go to bed at midnight. and I will stop everything to get ready for bed by 10 bc I need that time#and tomorrow I’m setting my alarm for 7:30#I’m going to have mornings again if it kills me bc this is making me feel like shit now#will also mean hopefully I’m less stressed about work and can schedule stuff with my friends bc oh my god everything has been a nightmare#this week. and it’s only Tuesday what the fuck#also going to make a sleep tracker again bc that worked in February#and I’m setting library times for weekdays as 9:30-12 and 2-5 because getting there is the problem and I normally stay longer once I’m ther#and that worked for exams AND there’s just less work to do now so if I can keep on top of it everything should be fine#just have to actually do it#like right now I rlly need to go get writing bc I need to figure out some title options and that needs to be done by tomorrow afternoon#otherwise there won’t be time to get feedback from my supervisor before the deadline#so while today might be a bit of a lost cause bc I need to shower go to the shop and cook which takes most of the free working time#I can do something and if I can make tomorrow morning work I’ll have enough time#I’m okay with having periodic getting my shit together days as long as I do use them to get my shit together#now pls. get your shit together <3#luke.txt
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finished the succession finale. its royver
#speaking#succession s4 spoilers#god okay its just now hitting me that my favorite show is officially over. WHAT AM I GONNA DO 😭😭😭#i cant even say 'succession is the best currently airing tv show' anymore oh my god#god that finale made so so so much sense though. it was heartbreaking but it was the only way succession couldve concluded i think#with all three of the siblings losing everything... god... god#i know so many people have said this already but shivs finale has got to be the most heartbreaking oh my god. she chose staying in an awful#marriage to a CEO over being with her brothers because she couldnt handle them having power over her again#she was doomed to be exactly like her mother from the beginning!!!!!!!!#also there are going to be SO many bad shiv takes after this oh my fucking god ive already seen so many. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HER LIKE I DO#tom being CEO makes perfect sense its been hinted at since the season 3 finale but GOD. he really did malewife his way to the top
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IRL photos jumpscare
#Seven’s Selfies#my face#well not really but. my eyes and forehead at least#parting my hair down the middle is nice until i realize that it frames my forehead like that#u could advertise smthn on that thing#anyways it feels like it’s been forever since i last posted any pics of myself on here. because it has#so why not post some low-quality and low-effort selfies of my exhausted self after getting home from urgent care the other day!!!#ignore the way i’m strategically posed to hide the cleaning products on the floor in the corner. i am too lazy to move them#so i shall hide them with my hips#these r the shittiest selfies i have ever posted but this is my blog this is my HOUSE i can do what i want#u can tell that i dressed for comfort cause i am not looking very put together here am i#it was a palazzo pants gymshark crop top and oversized hand-me-down flannel kinda day okay#and yes those r the moon print pants and pointy-toe boots that MC wears in ch.1-5 of Everything Stays. i wear them embarrassingly often#cause they’re comfy and i like the way they look
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self care is blocking v3 haters ☺️🙏
#i’m sorry i just. do NOT see why people love the cast of 2 so much#maybe it’s just cause 3 absolutely ruined them for me#i think i’d like 2 a lot more if they all stayed dead#OR if we actually saw them act as and become despair.#okay im realizing that maybe a lot of the love for 2 from the fandom comes from extrapolating them out? bc yeah thinking about what they-#we’re like as ROD or how they cope with it after the fact. like yeah that rules. but we don’t get that in canon#in fact we get the opposite of that. we get a worse version of that. which makes me not care about them at all#but it’s just like. god they’re so boring.#fuyuhiko and peko absolute top tier. and gundhams fun. and i LOVE mean girls hiyoko. and mikan’s great but only post twist#anyway the v3 cast are literally all fucking insane and i love that in a story#thh is all like. grounded only a little bit fantastical characters. they all feel like real teens. 2 they rev it up but don’t fully commit#v3 is off the charts. balls to the walls. these guys are absolute freaks#let’s be real any cast with miu in it would become automatic fave tho#miu and GONTA? MY BOY GONTA?? YOU WANNA SAY GONTAS THE WORST THE SERIES HAS TO OFFER????#we can all agree the worst is 3. future AND despair. equal oppurtunity shitty writing
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i hope otome’s having a great day today 🥲
#this is vee speaking#was vibing to just do it at work last night#and as that violin hit my soul yet again lmao i thought ‘hey maybe otome knows how to play the violin!!!! just like dice!!!!’#which kinda made me a little sad lol#i operate under the impression that dice ran away from home because he didn’t like what he was being moulded into by his family#and that was basically whatever they wanted otome to be before she became a political leader#so both can play violin for the exact same reasons and rejected it for the same reasons too#and that hurt a little lol#and i got sad thinking that otome didn’t leave dice behind just to be used the way she was but that’s nearly what happened had dice stayed#otome has made so many bad decisions to get where she wanted to be#and it sucks to see how much of this started because she wanted to protect dice and how she’s thrown or buried even that away 😭😭😭#she’s embraced the part of herself that doesn’t care because she’s on top of the world#but you do see moments where she’s sad about when she talks about dice#so i hope she’s okay and having fun despite everything lol#c: otome
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literally any romance trope is made better with monsters but unrequited romance specifically... gets me
#unrequited love usually annoys me because the hints the author lays out are either too obvious or not explained away in a realistic way#which makes me think the mc is an idiot and thus i begin to hate them#but like. i love monster biology. i love making up monster behavioral traits and culture and like. mating rituals#and if your friend is a spooky little guy and he's acting weird around you it's kind of like... he's always weird? he'a a monster#specifically i like it when monsters have like. mildly weird fetishes. like for collarbones or smells or whatever#so like if spooky daniel excuses himself from the room when i come in from my morning run i'm not gonna think#'oh he's totes jacking it to how sweaty i smell rn'#i'm thinking 'aw :( he's got a sensitive nose i forgot i must REEK to him rn'#and if i wear an over-the-shoulder top and he keeps glancing at my newly exposed area i'm not thinking#'oh he must instinctively see this as me baring my neck like a deer or perhaps a rabbit'#no!!! i'm either thinking 'lol prude' or 'well yeah i basically never wear this kind of shirt'#'it's like when you're trying not to stare at a woman's cleavage or smth'#or im not even noticing!!!#if some of my clothes disappear i'm not thinking 'ah yes for his nest of items which smell like me for his goon cave'#i'm either not noticing or assuming i misplaced them!!! a bitch is forgetful#if there is Mysterious Ooze i am simply not asking. i am looking away. unless it is actively Nasty i am simply Not Asking#if he's particularly excited when our plans get cancelled and we get to stay home im not thinking#'ah yes he's keeping me contained to my den just like the tasmanian devil' (look it up)#shit i'm excited too!!! i hate plans let's make macaroni and watch professional wrestling#if he suddenly hates all men in my life okay i'm concerned. what the fuck did they do. what the fuck did YOU do.#if he's just slightly pissier than usual then yeah i get that the guys at work suck ass#if he's giving me gifts i feel awkward about it but if it's just like a shiny rock that shit's going on the mantel#if it's food fuck it i'll fuck the guy myself#love monster cultures but i hate it when they make monsters assume their cultural way of expressing love is the norm#and then they're just like 'we're dating now and i will say NOTHING ELSE ABOUT IT'#like yeah have the guy express love through his culture but i think it's cuter#if he does it that way specifically so it goes unnoticed#like 'i can never be rejected if they don't know there's something to reject'#'i get to shower you with affection which you understand in some type of way AND i never have to face the mortifying idea of being alone'#monsterfucking
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#kats personal#so ive been cleaning out my room and im near the end of it#and coming across all these things that like#remind me of the good bits of my childhood that i like. dont remember ofc but i know they happened bevause of these things#like. things that mum handmade for me when i was really young#toys that ive had/was gifted when i was born etc#and these things have been in my room forever since i got them (like even w moving houses they still stayed on display/in use in my room)#but now im like. dusting them off and putting them away etc and i kind of. i think i know why but idk why im crying so much rn HQHA#like i fully know why LMAO idk why im pretending to be confused#i just cant out it into wirds yknow#but what actually started the emotions was coming across a photo of my parents that i kept at the very top of my closet in thr storage thing#like i have not accessed the stuff up here and didnt even know half the stuff i found even existed#anyways it reminded me that my brother and i both used to keep a photo of my parents from before we were born/when we were toddlers#like we arent in the pic; its just them right but we used to keep it as lime#*like. a reminder (well in hindsight it was more wishful thinking) that they chose to be together and they do love eachother and things were#gonna be okay etc despite how bad they seemed while we were growing up ??#and after this year i just ☹️☹️☹️☹️#(am actually crying sm rn that im laughing bruh)#ANYWAYS hid it away in a corner hehe
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enjoying reading academic journals & books is a different kind of joy especially when it's a subject you enjoy dwelling in ya'know
#jstor my beloved#i love hanging out with you#i cannot believe i am saying this but doing my masters is a joy....especially bc the past year & few months have been ultimate shits#it creates the perfect diversion right now#i enjoy watching shows in-between my studies...eat...stay hydrated and take baths...sleeping is still difficult for me though#but yeah apart from dealing with “this” matter with my father over email i think i am okay#i need to be less anxious though#my head likes to think it has it's own autonomy...#which is weird...& offensive bc dude you're a part of me#just because you're sitting right at the top doesn't mean you can rule over me alright?#now let's get to work...start those gears & do some actual work#other than tiring me out from overthinking the unnecessaries#personal#a:afternoonblues
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