#ok very niche and i know nobody is looking here who would know but if anybody has any resources on sumerian naming practices....

[thelilylav]

Y'know what? Fuck it (gives u guys a list of poc artists to listen to cause the white ppl on the music side of tumblr have been embarassing me)

List is under the cut, and warning bc I made it very long

Rock:

Los Abuelos De La Nada

Gesu No Kiwami Otobe

Chuck Berry

Ben E. King

Los Prisoneros

Ahmed Fakroun (ok this one's french art rock but in my book it still counts)

Burnout Syndromes (been fucking w them since I got into Haikyuu lmao)

Infinity Song (their hater song genuinely gets me every time LMAO)

People in the Box

N.E.R.D (my god if u don't know them.. idk dude my brother has been obsessed w them for forever so i just was not getting away regardless lol)

Punk/Punk Rock (& other punk subgenres):

Nova Twins (u must listen to them it's just the way it's gotta be guys)

Rina Sawayama (her hatred of Matty Healy is so attractive. i cannot believe i found her two years ago cause i still remember i would not shut up when i first heard her music it was so good)

BABYMETAL (the way their band name just straight up screams at people gets me every time lmaooo)

Indie:

The Younger Lovers

Mashrou Leila

Stella Jang

Shak SYrn (Jenni is on repeat in my room at any given moment)

Steve Lacy (if u listen to more than just Bad Habit u will find an actuall amazing discography)

Jenny Nuo (i have been OBSESSED w her music since like 2021 ish and it is a crime she hasn't blown up more imo)

Nujabes

Hemlocke Springs (oooo i hate that she does not get more love!!! synth pop and alt indie is such a fun niche like!!!)

Lyn Lapid (in my head she's huge but i have recently learned that artists i think r super popular may be unknown to an entire genre of ppl soo)

Megagonefree (found them on ig and omg!! PLS go check them out genuinely)

boa (i am once again shaming u if u don't know them)

Wallice

JAZZ (in all caps bc I fucking LOVE jazz no it's not dead go listen to jazz rn motherfuckers):

Idris Muhammad

Esperanza Spalding

Joanna Wang (ok she does pop and folk music too but idk she felt most appropriate here)

SAMARA JOY (put. some. respect. on. her. name. i would actually go to war for her i am not kidding. also this is in all caps bc MY MOM GOT TO SEE HER LIVE??? AND SHE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHO SHE WAS PLS I WAS SO MAD OMGGG but i've been promised tickets next time so we're good)

Sade (my og one and only)

Funk:

Fadoul

George Clinton (i mean he's just a classic yknow)

Parliament (Give Up the Funk can make me dance like no other i swear)

Stevie Wonder (i mean.. like if we're on the topic of classics anyway then...)

Michael Jackson/The Jackson 5 (moreso his earlier stuff if my memory isn't lying to me.. look it's been a second since i listened to mj IM SORRY i am a busy person ok TT)

R&B:

Valerie June

Maxine Nightingale (if u don't listen to her... how do u have fun? actual question i put her on every time i need to feel happy atp)

Boney. M (technically they're reggae but they also count as R&B so idk.. i'm just putting them here if anyone wants me to move them later i will)

Amahla (Ca Suffit was so good and got me to check out the rest of her music, YOU SHOULD TOO!!)

Mary J Blige (not to judge but like... if u don't know THE queen then idk how to help you tbh)

SZA (wouldn't be a list without her in it tbh. i'm in love w her not even joking abt that)

Kali Uchis (to this day i cannot believe i saw her live i'm truly never getting a better moment than that omggg i have such a big crush on her anyway)

Aupinard (if ever u need to just vibe, this is the man u go to.)

Wejdene (TU PARLES AVEC UNE ANISSA MA MOI J'APPELLE WEJDENE- she's been my day 1 since i was like thirteen i can't even lie)

Annisse (just found out she only has like ~500 listeners on spotify??? apparently i'm one of them tho lmao so yeah go get that number up guys i love her too much for this disrespect)

Sister Sledge

Cheryl Lynn

Reggae:

Daddy Yankee (he's an honourable mention cause i couldn't not lmao)

Skindred (they're a reggae/metal fusion band and i will shut up abt them when i'm dead bc Nobody rewired my brain chemistry!!)

Manu Chao

Toquinho (i was so convinced this man was bossa nova but apparently he is reggae and i need to do some music theory review)

Folk:

Sushi Soucy (oh the things I Deserve to Bleed had me going thru in 2020/2021)

Miriam Makeba (Pata Pata should be enough to get anyone listening to her, just saying)

Lead Belly (do urself a favour and do some research on this man, i'm not kidding even if u don't like folk music u should know abt him- ESPECIALLY if u like Nirvana that'll make sense later trust)

Pop:

Corinne Bailey Rae (she has so much good music that gets ignored bc of Put Your Records On so.. yeah go listen to Black Rainbows she's only gotten better as time goes on lol)

Dru (he is for any person who likes ke$ha. i'm so serious he is early 2000s in a bottle and i love his music ur rlly missing out if u ignore him)

Monique Hasbun (found her recently! she's a Palestinian, Mexican and Salvadorian artist who plays around with Latin pop and does a lot of fusion music. she's dope go listen to her fr)

Mohammad Assaf (he made the Palestine song that's been going around ig a lot, but his other stuff is great as well. he's another Palestinian artist, so once again, go check him out!!)

Pinkpanthress (i LOVE her she's so much fun to just vibe to and idk how anyone couldn't have heard of her atp but then again this is the sight that didn't know who drake was so... sigh. go listen to her if u don't already!!)

Aliyah's Interlude (BROOO if u haven't heard of her actually go listen rn i'm so serious she is so good i can'ttttt ok bye)

Veondre (had a collab w Aliyah on It Girl and is gonna be releasing her own music very soon! she's trans too so go give her some love)

Shalco (wasn't sure whether to put him here or in hip hop, but his stuff is very very good either way)

Ado (she's j-pop but it's a form of pop so into the pop category she goes)

Moon (she's got two songs out rn, Moonlight and Seoul City Drift, and both r going on loop in my head at all times)

Jay Chou (call me a basic bitch idc he's good ok)

Atarashii Gakko! (i wouldn't say they're j-pop, but google did, so i'm just going w it lol)

flowerovlove (just trust me on this one)

El Tio Gamboin (Los Gatitos is such a cute song)

Grace Chang (see note for Jay Chou)

King Gnu (for all my j-pop lovers... come get ur man)

Salsa:

Lalo Rodriguez (included this genre specifically so i could mention him)

Adalberto Santiago

Roberto Roena (he's a classic i can't lie)

Hector Lavoe (i think he might be the most popular one in this genre lol)

City Pop (this is its own genre bc i literally did a presentation in high school abt it and i'll be damned if i don't flex my knowledge now):

Mariya Takeuchi

Miki Matsubara (my QUEEN my everything my-)

Anri

Taeko Onuki (one of my most listened to artists last yr for a Reason)

Kaoru Akimoto

Kingo Hamada

Jun Togawa

Bossa Nova:

Joao Gilberto (ooo he gets me every time i fucking love this man)

Elizeth Cardoso

Johnny Alf (forgot this man the first time around my bad BUT he's called the father of bossa nova for a reason so)

Hip Hop:

Flyana Boss (they're sooooo good i actually can't gush enough i have never felt so girlypop listening to music before go listen to them!! found the duo through ig so yeah if u want go follow them on there too to show support)

Lil Uzi Vert (for any emo lovers, go check out his song Werewolf with Bring Me the Horizon it is SO GOOD)

Samyra (she's slowly curing my body dysmorphia lol)

Yame (there's an accent on the e but idk how to do that on tumblr. anyway my ass loves french rap and before him i was stuck with klub des loosers so he saved my faith in the genre i can't even lie)

Lay Bankz (u cannot be chronically online and not have heard Ick yet, but i'm repping her regardless bc SHE'S SO GOOD)

A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie (HEAR ME OUT-)

Kaliii (Area Codes was one of my most listened to songs last year... as it should be tbh)

Miguel (he does R&B too i just first listened to him bc of his collab w J.Cole sooo)

Tyler the Creator (putting him on here just to brag abt getting to see him in concert lmao)

XXXTentacion (he has been mourned and talked abt an insane amount, but he deserves it i'm not even gonna joke on this one. his artistry is insane and he deserves some love if u haven't listened to him yet)

Kendrick Lamar (i mean i've been reblogging stuff abt him enough. Mr. Morale was actually the album that made me start Listening listening to him and i'm honestly glad it was bc that album is still my favourite to this day if i'm being totally honest)

Renaissauce (criminally and i do mean CRIMINALLY underrated)

[nulfaga]

aahhh!!! ok… 7, 23 for neneldi, 5, 6 for orpheus, 20, 26 for lavinia and 13, 16 for mr darkworth :]

YES THANK YOU. huge brained question choices <33

here's the prompts

for neneldi:

7: Describe them in three words. Now let them describe themself in three words.

i might say "pragmatic; tangled-up; transgressor (not as in 'an outlaw' but etymologically as one who crosses [a border; a norm; etc], a goer-across)".

she'd say, with no hesitation, "speaker neneldi velvassius". post-brotherhood: "neneldi umayra velvassius".

23: Stability or novelty?

i think she thinks she's looking for stability. in fact she's convinced she's doing everything in her power to secure stability and life just keeps throwing weird curveballs. but in practice she keeps putting herself in volatile situations (ditching her family & signing on with the brotherhood; even falling in with lucien, a disruptive element, the rare recruit who was there absolutely against his will; THEN killing a room full of high brotherhood officials to save lucien; THEN deciding to knock on the door of the champion of cyrodiil for a little walking-around money). you can work backwards and understand the reasoning for each step: the hope for familial stability in the arms of the brotherhood; the hope for relational/romantic stability in picking up w/ lucien who is her oldest most consistent friend in her new life; dashing across cyrodiil to save him in order to preserve that long-standing relationship; but due to bad luck and/or poor judgment it keeps backfiring and wrecking her stability. like every time. (the question arises: isn't she just geared for novelty and in denial about it? you know. maybe.)

for orpheus:

5: Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech! Will they give one, and what about?

only among friends, and only to get on somebody's nerves (ie 15-minute ode to a notoriously self-effacing friend who looks like he wants to drown himself in his tankard the entire time). that's orph's main thing is he's on layer 8 of ironic detachment and would die on contact with a drop of sincerity. (martin is sort of terrifying to him for this reason: he mopes sincerely, he loves sincerely, he gets sincerely angry.)

i think even in a """professional""" setting like, idk. making a pitch why he should be allowed onto the elder council. he might do his best and deliver a rousing speech etc but in his mind he'd be convincing himself it's all a great big gag, that's the only way he can begin to approach it.

rare exception to the rule might be like, the blades hold a little memorial service for martin once they're back at the temple and before all hell breaks loose w/ chroniclers wanting the inside scoop and succession disputes and whatnot. i think (after a lot of prodding by his very good friends) he'll get to his feet...kind of removed from himself, hasn't slept in 72 hours, numb etc etc and he'll say something simple and (to his own ear) kind of dim-witted like "you were with us for a while. you had a good voice. we won't hear it again".

6: Who will they take advice from, no matter what it is? Who won’t they take advice from, no matter what it is?

respectively: neneldi and jauffre. he's terrible at setting his personal feelings aside in either direction. he is a big ball of feelings. he'll let his impression of someone be colored 90% by pathos and 10% by authority and after that their fate is sealed. jauffre treated him dismissively in the beginning and so orph isn't disposed to listen to anything he says ever again. neneldi on the other hand...well. that's his sister

for lavinia:

20: What do they like that nobody else does?

she has a variety of niche interests. you might even call some of them unbecoming for the (at one time) archmagister of the mages' guild. copperhart thinks of her as a misunderstood genius and will take any opportunity to enable her (bringing round obscure texts he's found on his travels, esp. treatises on magic practices that are stigmatized or out of use). this is why, by the time of her appointment to the archmage's office, she is a part-time necromancer, the proud owner of a talking sword, and the second-ever known practitioner of [redacted] <- keeping that one to myself in the event i do write this fic

26: Talent or effort?

both. her mother's line is full of naturally powerful mages, but none of them have historically been very ambitious. she's the first in a long time to seek out a formal education instead of teaching herself and/or referring to the family lexicon of useful but unrefined spells. it is in fact the rare combination of talent, effort and a deeply unorthodox approach that got her to archmage.

for the shrimpy wizard (aka mr. p. copperhart darkworth of wayrest!):

13: Name one thing their parents taught them.

copperhart is the son of lord darkworth of wayrest and [redacted], who promptly disappeared again, returning every five or ten years or so just to check in on the strange child she made. she didn't contribute much to his upbringing except to give him his first name, prochorus. on the other hand, lord darkworth—who had no plans for children and was perfectly content to remain a bachelor—became a dedicated father in very short order. as for what he taught his son: everything he possibly could. notably that his father loved him. and not to wear clashing patterns together. copperhart has taken ONE of these lessons to heart.

16: If money wasn’t a limit, what would they wear?

as hinted above money isn't a limit. he's the spoiled little oopy schmoopy apple of his father's eye and he wears whatever horrid and beautiful ensembles he can convince a self-respecting tailor to make. the exception is when he's undercover for spy work and has to tone it down severely. jury's out on what he does with his hair but probably a temporary spell. i don't think he could stomach dyeing it

[tootyfrootycasbooty]

@bourgeoix tagged me in a fun lil book game so here! we go! i thought i’d be so many books down already this year but alas, it turns out, working in publishing means you have 3084039 different admin things or manuscripts to read bits of instead of actual books. who knew!

💘 last book i read: 💘

M@d About Y0u by Mh@iri McF@rlane

ok forgive me i had to censor this because it’s on our list and i DON’T need my team finding my tumblr lmao, even if they know i’m a former tumblr girlie with inside info on the nature of fandom and fic writers. i’m working in general commercial fiction rn which isn’t something i’ve read a lot of, so i’m trying to familiarise myself and thought this would be a fun n quick read. it was! it’s still not my favourite kind of writing, but it’s definitely...fic adjacent tbh...excessively white english in a way that was less annoying than the flatshare, and also if you’re thinking of reading that you should just read this instead because it has a lot of similarities and is generally just better. however i’m deducting points for this being touted a romcom and there being such minimal romance, just terrible exes being terrible ALL the TIME.

💘 currently reading: 💘

Really Good, Actually by Monica Heisey

i’ve only just started this but i’m really enjoying it so far! maybe bc i haven’t read a book that’s ~my vibe~ in a while and i’m elbow deep in psychological thriller and old school romance.....it’s sharp and witty and quick and horrifically relatable and very Of The Moment, as far as cool sad girl millennials are concerned. i saw it described as a Coming of Divorce novel which is great lmao, anyway it’s exactly what you’d expect from a Schitt’s Creek writer doing a story about a 29 yr old who’s suddenly alone for the first time. 

💘 what is on my list 💘

Yellowface by Rebecca F. Kuang

i FINALLY got a proof of this yesterday after being told it’s the best thing ever for three weeks...the premise is very good...i’m very intrigued since it’s the same writer of Babel and this is a VERY different book...basically a nobody white writer steals the manuscript of an east asian literary darling writer and passes it off as her own under an ambiguously asian pseudonym. 

Totally Wired: The Rise and Fall of the Music Press by Paul Gorman

a fat non-fiction that is specifically tailored to my niche interests...jacket design looks like the screenprints i made which is a weird coincidence...it’s just very me! haven’t had a moment to sit down and get into it yet but love that it covers US and UK music journalism bc i don’t really know so much about what the american equivalents of nme and melody maker were! 

August Blue by Deborah Levy

WILD HOWLING SCREAMS!!!!!! idk when deborah quietly announced this but i’m her biggest most embarrassing fan. penguin should give me a commission for how many people i’ve converted to the church of deborah. so interesting bc it sounds like it’s based on information we already glimpsed in the living autobiographies but it’s also sounds much more philosophical than the last few novels, almost like a combination of both. anyway it doesn’t release until may cry

tagging the smart beautiful pals who read more than i can possibly hope to and some of the old usual suspects @bris-eis @whenharrymetsallys @wolfhalls @themoonmins @amarkls bee i’m tagging you but i cant remember what ur url is or if your made a new account or did i imagine that maybe you’re still awol

[deangirlnotagirl]

Season 1 Episode 2: W*ndigo

Let’s do this.

- I love this recap remember when if you missed the first episode you just didn’t watch it until the reruns or dvs anyways those dramatic screen titles “what they witnessed sent two brothers on a quest for answers 22 years later”

- Oh there it is there’s the SUPERNATURAL noise with the title page ok it was just the pilot that didn’t have it

- Ok we’ve traveled from California to Colorado

- Love the flip phone and game boy in this cold open what a throwback

- Once again genuinely pretty creepy good job supernatural

- Oh that transition out of Sam’s dream made me jump I think my volume is a little too loud

- Aw Dean offers to let Sam drive that’s cute I love watching their relationship emerge

- I love their maps makes me miss maps

- Love watching Dean improvise and figure out who he needs to be to get the information he wants (and figure out what information he wants)

- Her brother looks like a high schooler so like once again I’m asking how old is Haley

- On this rewatch I’m really enjoying watching Sam’s arc of going from almost getting a full ride to the top school in the county to returning to hunting. The way he actually kind of loves it sometimes in a way Dean maybe doesn’t. It’s so tragic because it’s not what he would have chosen and he worked so hard to get away and all of that was taken away because he couldn’t escape his family forever. But at the same time we see from the pilot that he really has fun once he gets into it and hates that he has fun but starts to lean into it and find his niche as the show goes on.

- Ok so Dean introduced them as Sam and Dean and his fake ID says “Samuel Cole” which I looked up and don’t see an obvious origin (like a musician or something) so does that mean this is just a random name Dean picked and that he’s using Sam’s name sometimes when he hunts? Because that hurts.

- Every 23 years nice I love a recurring monster who hibernates

- Noticing that they pretty much never have to work very hard to get information bc they so clearly actually believe the person when nobody else ever has and even if maybe Sam and Dean are full of shit maybe they’re not and this is proof the person they’re interviewing is not crazy. Anyway if that’s not a metaphor idk what is

- “Corporeal”

- I forgot how angry Sam is this season (and a lot of seasons) and honestly he deserves to be angry right now

- Dean’s fragile masculinity lol but also Roy’s fragile masculinity the fragile masculinity of it all

- Ok I’m pretty sure they save the lost brother right like I hope so?

- This is a lot like the x files episode detour where they go into the woods and are hunted my an invisible humanoid but that doesn’t make it less good I loved that episode

- Once again I’m genuinely getting creeped out

- I really don’t like Roy

- Sam and Dean realizing John isn’t here and he wasn’t leaving a clue for them to find him. Realizing he put them on this case to keep them off his trail and set them up to doing his job while he goes on hunting his obsession.

- The fact that Dean sees Sam getting obsessed too and it scares him.

- “Saving people, hunting things, the family business” 😭😭😭

- Dean saying all that anger is going to kill you to Sam and he knows because he’s seen it happening to their dad ugh.

- Friendly reminder as they explain the lore that use of w*ndigos is major cultural appropriation and racist please read link on the title of this post to learn more

- How many do not enter signs can one entrance have

- They really do a good job of making this scary by not showing the scary thing good use of budget there sometimes you don’t need a giant cgi monster for good horror (no hate to giant cgi monsters I just love practical effects).

- The way that neither Sam or Dean are particularly freaked out by almost dying many times in this episode (or last episode if I recall). Sam even after taking a break from hunting presumably for most of the past four years - like that kid left home at 18 why has he had enough near death experiences at this point to be so cool headed in a crisis. Wtf John (I say over and over again throughout this show)

- Ok phew they do save the brother

- The way Dean uses the swagger to cover up everything else

- Again I just feel like this girl is too young but I guess if she’s old enough to be taking care of her younger brothers maybe she isn’t? Whatever what do we expect from supernatural

- Sam’s driving the impala!!!

- This last shot reminds me of my cousin Vinny

I’m doing this watch through as an escapism/nostalgia fueled way to remember a specific time in my life and let myself enjoy a very flawed show. So like as a monster episode this was scary and fun to watch and there was good character development and a good intro to the monster of the week episode format. And at the same time it’s a reminder of rampant casual racism to the point that it was basically thoughtless - I’m sure it just never occurred to the writers that there was anything wrong with using a being from another culture as a monster for Sam and Dean to fight and I’m sure this won’t be the last time they do this.

[luminarai]

the old guard but make it sports i guess??

to the surprise of everyone (mostly me tbh) i actually put some thought into these! read on for weirdly specific meta

some sports lend themselves quite naturally to the old guard (fencing, horseback riding, martial arts etc) but i got to thinking about what sports would they go into that wouldn’t be related to their ‘jobs’ or maybe in a modern au and THUS:

for nile i thought something that would suit her quick thinking and way of pushing her own limits would be rock climbing. it’s the kind of sport that takes a lot of physical and mental strength along with endurance and agility which i think would be a great match for her. also consider her reaching the top of whatever she’s climbing and just standing there, looking out over the landscape, the wind against her skin, at peace, just taking it all in... it’d be a thing she’d do just for herself, a way to cement her self confidence in new areas and experience a combination of adrenaline and intense focus that she can really revel in

for joe and booker the obvious choice would be football/soccer of course but here’s my niche scandinavian take: handball! it’s a team sport, quite fast paced compared to football (we’re talking like. 20 goals per game) and quite physical. (it also enjoys popularity in both north africa and france if that matters!) i also considered tennis, squash (the sport) and even badminton but i think joe would dig the social aspects of it and drag booker along because damn boy, you need to get out of the house and talk to people, ok. i call the pose for their picture ‘don’t throw that fucking thing at me and don’t give me those eyes i can see you lifting it you absolute walnut’. 

(nicky dutifully attends their big games and usually drags nile along - neither of them have any real interest in the sport but nicky buys the best snacks and they sit in the back the entire time practicing italian shit talking and listening to podcasts with shared headphones) (andy used to go too but she got a little too uh enthusiastic and got banned. oops)

my knowledge of roller derby is limited to that one ellen page movie BUT holy shit can you imagine andy and quynh tearing up the rink??? fucking lethal my dudes. we know they’re both quick, elegant and strong af so their games would be fast paced, at times brutal and they’d both have the best fucking time. in an au they’d probably meet while on opposing teams and flirt via basically mauling each other - esp with quynh as a jammer, the player who scores points by lapping the opposing team who have to stop her. nobody knows whether to be annoyed when they finally get together because the public flirting gets outright dirty or relieved because the injury percentage drops SO MUCH, oh my god how are they both still standing. and yes, their derby names would be pit wiper and androma kills because get fucking wrecked. the boys all get too caught up at their games and make a lot of stupid bets that nile inevitably wins because she’s the only one with critical thinking skills in these scenarios

nicky’s was actually the one who kicked this whole thing off for me; aerial silk is a very cool type of acrobratics - it’s basically yoga played on Extra mode and also in the air?? it’s all about stamina, flexibility and body strength. it looks super graceful but is also very challenging and it’s a fairly individual sport, which i think would suit nicky very well. i was honestly also inspired by the fact that the most aerial silk guys at my gym (i do pole fitness which has some overlap with the aerialists) have the same kind of figure as nicky: not bulky or cut, but still very strong with broad shoulders, lean arm muscles and strong legs. i don’t think he’d be interested in performances or competitions but he does occasionally invite joe to watch him practice when he has the studio for himself (the first time, joe nearly faints because his blood doesn’t know which direction to go and you know it doesn’t get any less heated from there wink wonk)

all that being said please don’t ask me about sports because i genuinely know next to nothing about most types of it - but i did have a lot of fun making these!

[yourmandevine]

And in case I don't see you: Good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight (or: some personal news)

No sense burying the lede:

One month shy of four years after joining up, and with something like 570 columns, features, blog posts, and blurbs in the rear-view, today's my last day at The Ringer. Barring some unforeseen Friday afternoon news, my final piece will have been about the Knicks' best-laid plans not quite panning out the way they intended. Let it never be said that the basketball content gods don't have a sense of humor.

I'm grateful to have spent four years sharing a masthead with some of the best writers on the Internet, and to have carved out a niche on what I've felt was, pound-for-pound, the best NBA team in the business. I'm grateful I got to co-host a podcast with two great friends for a while, to everyone who took the time to listen to it, and to everyone who said (and still says!) nice things about it. I'm grateful to have gotten the chance to be part of the Ringer Union, and to have played a small role in trying to make a company I loved a little more fair and equitable.

I'm grateful to have gotten the opportunity to grow and develop as both a writer and analyst. I feel like I'm better at this job than I used to be, thanks in no small part to the freedom and support I've enjoyed. I'm grateful to everyone, past and present, who has made The Ringer the sort of place where someone like me could level up.

I'll still be writing about the NBA on the Internet. (And talking about it into a microphone again, too.) I'll say more about that soon. Right now, the only thing I want to say is: thank you.

Specifically, I want to thank some of the many people whose names never showed up on the things I published, but who were indispensable to every one of them—and, beyond that, to so much more of what The Ringer makes. As much as this company is about the on-air personalities on your favorite podcasts, it's also about the literal scores of people who bust their asses every day to try to make sure we're making the best stuff we can.

It takes a lot of people to make us look good. Here are the names of the ones who helped me.

MY EDITORS

Nobody edited me more often than Matt Dollinger, Justin Verrier, or Chris Almeida—three very different dudes, but all patient, professional, and kind, despite the sheer tonnage of words I dropped on their heads. Many thanks also to culture czar Andrew Gruttadaro (without whom the Stevie Nicks' Fajita Roundup and Pete & Pete pieces wouldn't have happened), Aric Jenkins, Ben Glicksman, Chris Ryan, Danny Chau, Donnie Kwak, Justin Sayles, Mallory Rubin, Megan Schuster, and Riley McAtee for pinch-hitting over the years. I'm sorry I never once hit a word count. I hope it all still hung together OK.

THE COPY DESK

I can't stress enough how comforting it has been to know that everything I write will pass through the hands of copy chief Craig Gaines and his crack team of copy editors and fact-checkers. It never ceased to amaze me that they would routinely and graciously take thousands of words about, I dunno, the Pelicans defense, and treat it like it mattered, and make sure I didn't sound dumb (or, at least, any dumber than usual).

Mil gracias to: Abou Kamara, Amaar Burton, Analis Bailey, Charlotte Goddu, Chris Grismer, Damian Burchardt, Dan Comer, Daniel Chin, Isaac Levy-Rubinett, Iza Wojciechowska, Jack McCluskey, Jacqueline Kantor, Jordan Ligons, Julianna Ress, Julie Kliegman, Kellen Becoats, Kjerstin Johnson, Lex Pryor, and—last alphabetically in this group, but certainly not least—Shaker Samman.

THE ART DEPARTMENT

One of the fringe benefits of working here has been knowing that, when my post is ready to go up, I'm going to get to see whatever rad thing David Shoemaker and his team have crafted to put up at the top of it. (Pro tip: If you write a long enough thing to get the feature build, they give it the bigger and wider art, which looks even friggin' cooler, IMO.) It's a true delight to know that, even if the words aren't all that good, the pictures will be. Thanks to David, Alycea Tinoyan, Matt James, Neil Francisco, and Jonathan Bartlett for making sure that's true.

THE SOCIAL MEDIA TEAM

I know, this sounds crazy, but apparently it's not always easy to get audience members excited to read a bunch of words about, like, the Spurs' bench? And yet, the perennially underappreciated and over-yelled-at-on-the-Internet social team never stopped working to find ways to do it. Shouts out to Alex Stamas, Amelia Wedemeyer, Bridget Geerlings, David Lara III, Jomi Adeniran, Julie Phayer, Keith Fujimoto, Kiera Givens, Logan Rhoades, Nicole Bae, Pat Muldowney, and Rubie Edmondson for tirelessly running up that hill.

AUDIO/VIDEO

Isaac Lee and Steve Ahlman produced Heat Check, and they were absolutely wonderful to work with every single week. So were Bobby Wagner and Jim Cunningham when they got spot starts with me, Gonz, and Haley. Isaiah Blakeley, Jessie Lopez, Jonathan Kermah, and Sasha Ashall were always great when I popped up on other shows, too.

Jason Concepcion and Jason Gallagher put me on NBA Desktop twice, including once when they encouraged me to say the phrase "step your pen game up, you word-broke motherfuckers," which stands as one of the proudest moments of my career.

I didn't do much other video stuff here, but when I did, I greatly enjoyed working with, learning from, and joking around with Cory McConnell, Dylan Berkey, J. Kyle Mann, Jackson Safon, Mose Bergmann, Richie Bozek, Ronak Nair, and Sean Yoo. (I haven't yet crossed paths with Aleya Zenieris, Chia Hao Tat, or Donnie Beacham, but they're getting thanked, too. It's a thank-o-rama.)

And, one last thanks:

ALL OF YOU

I'm not sure what I've done to deserve the kind, considerate, passionate, and conscientious readers and followers I've accumulated over the years. All I can do is promise to try to keep doing it, and to try to reward your time and attention a few times a week.

Thanks for sticking around. See you again soon.

[bellasgreensweater]

✨Why I Think Bella Swan Is On The Autism Spectrum ✨

In this post I’m going to talk about why I personally believe that Bella Swan is autistic. As an autistic person myself, I really relate to Bella and I see a lot of autistic traits in her.

Disclaimer: This is just a headcanon- I don’t think Stephenie Meyer intentionally wrote Bella as autistic, and she or the movie producers never confirmed it, so I’m not saying to everyone that she is CONFIRMED to be autistic and that every one has to see her that way, I’m just saying that I personally think she is, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Autistic people hardly have any representation in the media, and with the representation that we do have, it is almost always stereotypical, inaccurate and offensive. You do not have to agree with me on this, but just please be respectful in the comments and don’t hate :)

Ok let’s go:

1. She always felt different from everyone/she felt like nobody truly understood her and that she never really understood anyone either: this is what basically all autistic people feel, myself included. Feeling like nobody understands the way your brain works and the way you see the world. (And this is true, because autistic people do see the world differently than non- autistic people and autistic peoples brains are wired differently from non- autistic brains). Bella mentions this multiple times in the books and movies, at one point in the first book in the car with Edward, she tells him that she thinks he can’t read her mind because they’re a probably a glitch in her brain and that it’s not like other people’s. There is also this quote from the 1st chapter of twilight which sums up how she feels: “ Facing my pallid reflection in the mirror, I was forced to admit that I was lying to myself. It wasn’t just physically that I’d never fit in. And if I couldn’t find a niche in a school with three thousand people, what were my chances here? I didn’t relate well to people my age. Maybe the truth was that I didn’t relate well to people, period. Even my mother, who I was closer to than anyone else on the planet, was never in harmony with me, never on exactly the same page. Sometimes I wondered if I was seeing the same things through my eyes that the rest of the world was seeing through theirs. Maybe there was a glitch in my brain”.

2. Her motor skills: She’s constantly tripping over her own feet, has bad balance, doesn’t realize that she’s walking into things, constantly dropping things ect, a common thing for autistic people is to have poor motor skills and find it hard to navigate their body.

Another disclaimer about autism: not ever autistic person is the exact same, every autistic person expresses their autism in a slightly different way, for example, some autistic people are overly sensitive to sound, and some are under-sensitive to it, these are just the specific things I’ve noticed for Bella in this post, it’s not supposed to be a generalization of autism in any way! :)

3. Social disinterest and difficultly: all throughout her childhood and her time in forks, she wasn’t very interested in making friends or hanging out or going to parties, and she found that she could never make friends with someone easily, she just never fully clicked with someone. She did have some very nice friends in forks, however she never related to them too well or was very attached to them.

4. Dresses for comfort and not fashion: Bella typically dresses in what feels most comfortable for her, not what is the most fashionable thing, this is a common thing with autism. A lot of autistic people like myself are quite sensitive to clothing and fabric and will not tolerate uncomfortable clothing.

5. Limited interests/special interests: Bella doesn’t really have many interests, but the ones she does have, she’s very passionate about. A special interest is an autism-specific term used to describe interests and hobbies that autistic people have that are very important to them. They help regulate emotions, calm people down, provide escapism ect. Autistic people can hyper fixate on these interests for hours and hours and not get bored, they can get so engrossed that they forget to do basic tasks to take care of themselves like drinking or going to the bathroom. These interests can last for years, sometimes a lifetime and they are very important to autistics. Bella swans special interests would be reading, wuthering heights, and vampires. Bella says in midnight sun that she has loved reading all her life and it is one of the few things that bring her intense joy. She said she could read for hours at a time and would try to sneak books into her lessons and read any chance she could get. Bella says that her favorite book is wuthering heights and she has read it so many times that it is beaten up beyond repair and the spine is so cracked that the book lays flat. This would clearly be her special interest. Her other special interest is clearly vampires.

6. Burnouts and meltdowns when Edward leaves: when Edward left in new moon, Bella obviously fell into a huge depression, but I also think she fell into an autistic burnout (if you don’t know what that is pls research or ask me cause this post is already too goddamn long). And in eclipse, when Edward leaves to go home in the afternoon or to go hunting, she can barely focus without him and gets very anxious (this is obviously because she loves him and is literally obsessed with him lol, but I also think it could be a meltdown from separation anxiety and also a change in routine (a lot of autistics get very upset when their usual routine is disrupted or changed))

7. Sensitive to sounds: In the book, often Bella cannot concentrate or fall asleep because of little sounds like the rain, sometimes it takes ages for her to sleep because the rain or tapping is too distracting. (This is a common autistic struggle).

8. Stims & facial twitches & stuttering: in the movie, she is constantly stuttering over her words, and her face and body twitches a lot. She also stims a lot in the book by playing with her hair or sleeves or the zip of her jacket, or her hands or edwards hands. She also covers some of her face with her hair, this could be to do with sensory overload, seeing too much in her field of vision may be overwhelming for her, like a lot of autistics.

9. Trouble expressing feelings/ thoughts: bella struggles a lot sometimes with communication and telling people how she feels. You can see this in her relationship with Charlie. They both love eachother very much but they never say it and when they do it comes out very awkward and sometimes they use the wrong words. You can also see this when she is hesitant to tell Edward in eclipse when she doesn’t want him to leave for the fight, it takes her ages to work up to telling someone how she feels. She also tends to be quite private. This is common for some autistics to feel.

10. Sensory experiences: bella loves the sun and heat, she says that she loves feeling the sun seep into her skin- a lot of autistics feel the sensory world very strongly and love certain sensations and detest others. When Bella moves to forks, she hates the sudden change in weather and gets anxious and upset at the feel of the cold, and the rain against her skin. This links back to my other point where I was talking about how autistics fear sudden changes in routine. Bella is very relieved when there’s a sunny day in forks and goes and sits outside, savouring the weather which reminds her of home.

11. Not too concerned with how she looks: obviously not every autistic person is like this, but quite a few autistics don’t really focus on how they look/present and what they wear. They don’t really know about the social norms and what other people wear so they do what they want. This is something I often see in Bella in the books especially.

12. More quiet/ reserved and socially withdrawn and awkward: this is basically self explanatory. Bella is very well known for this. I touch a bit more on this in point 3.

If you made it this far then thank you so much! This took a long ass time to write and I’ve been thinking of making this post for months. There are more things that make me headcanon her as autistic, but these are just from the top of my head. When I re-read the series (for like the 100th time lol) later this year, I’ll annotate the book so that I can update this post in the future with more supporting this).

Again this is just my opinion and my personal headcanon, it is not factual (but I’d obviously want it to be canon) so please no hate :)

If you have any more things to add on then please do!! I’d love to hear your thoughts!

[mrs-nate-humphrey]

ok so we have seen over and over again people's assumptions about how gg main characters's instagrams would look like but how do you think their secret tumblr blogs would be? 👀

hmm! i just went over tumblr in general, because i don’t think all of them would have ‘secret’ tumblrs per say? everyone’s thing under the cut, cause it got SO long. i did not mention chuck because i don’t rlly see chuck as having a tumblr in any universe tbh - i feel like he would think it takes away from his businessy vibe or something.

dan's main would be something with a ts eliot url, like, a snippet from one of his poems, or it would be a whitman url, a snippet from a poem again (i see him with a whitman url of some kind & maybe his blog title is an eliot reference.) dan would 100% have the whole dark academia thing going in some ways, i think his blog would be organised as a grid, and he would reblog pictures of libraries, museums, occasionally of art, and also, quotes. so many quotes. so much literature. if you've been on tumblr long enough you know exactly the kind of blog i'm talking about.

dan's tumblr sideblog, on the contrary, would have nothing to link it to him. it'd probably be the tumblr default theme, pastel colours or something... i feel like dan is the specific genre of trans kid who uses a different set of pronouns online for anonymity purposes and then goes "wait a minute i like these pronouns BETTER". his url would be something extremely mundane and random like coffeeaddict779 or something, and it would be all #vent and #dont reblog. nobody who's following his sideblog knows what his main is, and vice versa.

serena would i think have one of those "be kind, do no harm :)" kind of hipster tumblr blogs, except she's incredibly sincere. she wouldn't have a sideblog, i don't think? and i don't think she'd attach her name to it in any way, probably just pronouns in bio and maybe a 'call me S'. she and dan would be mutuals on dan's main! her blog will be very, uh. aesthetic pictures, reblogs of dolphin videos and music and WIP art videos and anything else that'll catch her eye. she'll tag blair in fashion vids, nate in sailing posts, dan in literary stuff, and vanessa in film related/photography related things. she's having fun! every now and then she'll post a vent post but it's extremely vague and it's either something everyone who knows her irl already knows about her ('i hate my mom so much') or something that says practically nothing ('i am so worried about my brother and wish i could do more to help him.')

jenny's fashion inspo blog!!!! what more do you want me to say. she'd make it big in the fashion community and get anons all the time and she'd probably also have an etsy where she sells things she's sewn and made. everyone sort of knows she's an up and coming designer and she'd find a good community online hopefully!!! her blog would be something simple, with a url like jennydesigns or something (i bet that's taken rn, i havent checked) and her theme would be one of those themes that allows for u to have big images. she would probably post vents in the same way serena does, tag them #personal or #rambles, and have that neat code that allows for the tag to be filtered out whenever anyone views her page on desktop, you know?

i think eric would not have anything specific that he posts. he would just reblog random things - memes, things he finds interesting, jenny's original posts, stuff serena tags him in, cat videos, lgbtq+ positivity, etc. he'd try and stay out of drama (i think he'd turn anon off eventually.) he’d also post a lot of music reblogs or links, i feel?

vanessa's main blog would be one where she posts her own photos and films. because she's professional about it, it'd probably just be @ vanessaabrams. she'd have a sideblog specifically for reblogging other people’s work because she wants to support other artists, and it would be vanessareblogs or something like that, and her bio would mention “main tumblr @ vanessaabrams”. she’d be much adored in the photo/film community and just in general, because she’s one of the few people who hypes up other creators all the time and leaves nice comments in tags and all that. every now and then serena reblogs vanessa’s photography onto her blog and it almost always blows up, but vanessa doesn’t mind. i don’t think vanessa would have a vent blog or even a personal tag, she gives me big ‘i wanna keep my business totally off the net’ kind of vibes.

nate’s blog would be a lot like serena’s except, uh, more openly wanderlusty i think. a LOT of ocean reblogs. every now and then he reblogs keroauc quotes from dan which the girls find extremely hilarious. he talks a lot about sailing and gets a lot of sailing anons. he’d reblog a lot of positivity (mostly because he knows his friends are following him and he wants to brighten up their dash.) dan and vanessa jokingly dm him weed aesthetic posts all the time, but every time they do he reblogs and tags it ‘sent to me’ or somehting like that, and they cant decide whether to be flattered or embarrased. i think nate would also attract a lot of anons who ask for advice and it is something he never expected people coming to him for, but he definitely listens and shares whatever he’s got to say all the same. he’s this blog who should be weirdly niche but everyone sort of knows him and likes him.

saving the best for the last, lol. i have SO many thoughts about blair’s tumblrs. 

i think she’d have a main tumblr that’s solely for classic film stuff (audrey! and more) and that’d be @ blairwaldorf, because, well, duh. i think she’d pay for a tumblr theme and get one of those really fancy and cute ones, like a floralcodes ms paint theme. i think she’d also have a sideblog that’s less serious, where she’d reblog things from tv shows, reblog things serena or nate have tagged her in, write her own meta for fandoms she’s in, just generally be a multifandom mess with a #personal tag but nothing too personal. it would still be classy, because she’s blair, but on this blog, she’s just a girl having fun.

and then she’d have a THIRD blog, a sideblog that doubles up as a vent blog. and this one isn’t linked to her other two in an obvious way, nobody knows it’s her, etc. on here she’d probably post a lot about her ed (but i think in a  ‘i am struggling and i want to bitch’ way, not in a thinspo way - that’s a whole conversation i have no spoons for, so let’s not go there), she’d post about her insecurities and worries but it would be extremely untraceable. she’d have a fancy theme on this one too, despite it being a vent blog. 

hm. now im thinking of the potential of like. dan and blair interacting super frequently on their vent blogs and neither of them knowing it’s the other person!

[ilikefandom]

Snape’s Secret

Hi again. This is my first time posting with Snape and any constructive criticism will be adored. I tried to make the reader as ambigous as possible. 

Warnings: Fluff, Fem!Reader

Synopsis: Snape is not himself and nobody knows why, that is until our lovely reader shows up.

Type: Oneshot

When the third cauldron exploded the class held its breath as they turned to look at the professor. Severus Snape was looking at the culprit, Neville Longbottom, who was shaking in his boots. Snape’s face turned red, however it was not rage he expressed.  

“Clean it up Longbottom.” Snape hissed at the fourth year student, before stalking to the other side of the classroom to sit at his desk. 

The class sat in stunned silence as Snape opened a drawer in his desk. He looked up at the class, “Well?” he growled, “Back to work.”

He slid a letter out of the drawer and opened the seal gingerly with his fingernail. Looking back up at his class, Professor Snape sneered, “Do I have to tell you again? Back to work!”

He unfolded the letter as most of the class turned back to their cauldrons whispering about Snape’s sudden change in attitude. Some speculated it was the upcoming Triwizard tournament, others thought a pay raise was behind the slight smirk on Severus’ face, but Hermione Granger knew better. 

Snape had been in a decent mood all week, he had yet to deduct more than 50 points from Gryffindor or any house for that matter. Snape had yet to give any student, in any house, detention. He had been seen receiving letters and at least once a day, and this made Hermione wonder if the serious, snarky, Severus Snape had found himself a significant other. 

Snape folded the letter, picked up a piece of new parchment and began to write a reply. He was so engrossed in his response that he neglected to call up the students for sampling until he was done. He folded the letter, casting a clever little traveling spell over the entrance to the drawer, he placed the letter through the top and closed the drawer, removing the spell with a flick of his wand. 

“Now,” Snape turned to his class who stood around their cauldrons chatting and none more loud than the so-called ‘Golden Trio’ “Bring up your samples to my desk so that I can grade them. Hurry up!” He snapped. 

The class collected their samples and passed them to the brooding teacher as he placed them away for testing on his grading block. He opened the letter he had received earlier and smiled slightly at the small, uniform handwriting. 

Dearest Severus

I hope that the students aren’t giving you too much trouble. As I write this I sit at my desk as my students watch our first media study. Teaching History of Interaction has been the best experience and I wish it was an elective at Hogwarts rather than a mandatory subject here. I miss you so much and I cannot wait until the Triwizard Tournament as we will be able to see each other for a few months as our Interaction field trip takes place. My most senior students noticed my ring during the first period. Seriously, get a bigger emerald next time. 

I can’t wait until this summer. I bought my dress last week and I ordered you a set of navy dress robes. They should arrive in a few days. Drinking cocoa, watching films with my students and thinking about you.

Always yours,

(Y/N) 

Snape gave one final half smile at his parchment before the bell rang and he dismissed his class with a wave of his hand. 

A few weeks passed and soon all the other schools arrived for the Triwizard Tournament. As all of the rules were spoken about the tournament, Dumbledore checked his watch. He smiled and stood when Barty Crouch Sr. had finished speaking. 

“Thank you Barty,” he said, addressing the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement with a nod. “Today we have another collection of students joining us merely to observe the Tournament. May I present the senior students of Borealis Academy of Magical Learning and their Deputy Headmistress, Ms. (Y/N)(L/N). 

The heads of the students turned as an attractive young witch led the band of formally dressed teenagers to the front of the Gryffindor table, where the students each found their niche. Ms. (L/N) found her way to the Professors’ table and sat herself in between Dumbledore and Professor Snape. 

A hand touched Hermionie’s arm as she looked at the Deputy Headmistress. When she turned to see who it was, a student, a rather attractive one she had to admit, from the Borialis school. 

“I’m sorry.” They said with a soft smile, “Can you pass me the chicken please?”

Hermione smiled, “Sure, can you tell me about your…”

However, she was interrupted by Ron before she could finish her sentence. “Why would she choose to sit beside Snape? There were plenty of empty chairs.”

“Why not?” The student asked with a quizzical expression. “I’m Sam by the way.” They added with a slight grin.

“Snape is horrible!” Ron started with a grimace, “He’s like the worst teacher here, and I’m Ron, Ron Weasly.”

“And I’m Hermione Granger.” Hermione said as she shook Sam’s hand. “Can you tell us about your teachers and curriculum? I have never heard of Borealis.”

Sam gave a hearty chuckle, “Borealis Academy of Magical Learning is in the very Northern part of Canada. It’s a huge castle made of ice. My favourite subject is Transfiguration, however, if it’s teachers you want to know about, Ms. (L/N) is my favourite, she’s everyone’s favourite.” They picked up three of the drumsticks and put them on their plate, they also spooned a large ladle-full of a creamy bisque into a bowl. 

Ron looked over at the young woman who was laughing at something Dumbledore had said. He turned back to Sam, who was happily munching away, and asked, “Are there any bad teachers at your school?” 

Sam smiled, “One that I don’t like. He teaches our mandatory Muggle Subjects class.” Sam shivered, “He gives the most horrible detentions. I also dislike our Magical Music teacher, but only because they’re so stuffy and angsty, I love going to their class.” 

Harry, oblivious to Sam’s presence, jumped in his seat. “Since when did somebody else join us?”

Hermione rolled her eyes, “Sam, this is Harry Potter, Harry this is Sam, they’re from Canada.” 

Sam gave Harry a little wave. “Hello. So what do you guys think about Hogwarts? Apparently our top four grades go to this Tournament thingy every four years to see a “Fantastic display of Magical Cooperation” as it was put on the permission form.”

“Well,” Hermione stated, “We’re only in Fourth Year, so we haven't seen this before…” She began to ask Sam more questions and they were happy to oblige with answers. Ron, however, was not paying attention, he watched, instead, as Professor Snape slipped his hand gently over Ms. (L/N)’s left one, caressing her fingers gently, where a beautiful silver and emerald engagement ring sat.

Ron gasped and almost knocked his plate onto the ground. Startling Hermione and Sam out of their conversation. 

“What?” Asked Hermione, indignant, as she was in the middle of quizzing Sam about what classes were mandatory in Canada v.s in the UK. 

“Snape’s touching her hand.” Ron said plainly and the quartet turned to look at the point where Severus Snape’s hand covered Ms. (Y/N) (L/N)’s. Hermione went slack-jawed, Harry’s eyes went wide and Sam… Well Sam was smiling their cheerful smile.

“She flaunts that ring like nobody’s business.” Sam commented going back to their meal, “At least we know who this mysterious English fiance of hers is.” 

Sam looked as if they just had an epiphany and turned down the table to shout “Oi! Sara! Check out who’s marrying our teach!”

Heads turned and smiles formed on several faces down the table as gasps of ‘Finally!’ and “Yes!” echoed down the hall. Ms. (L/N) who had heard the commotion shook her head and beamed as she flipped her hand over to take Snape’s in hers. 

(Y/N) laughed quietly as she gazed at her students with joy. She turned to Severus and smiled saying, “Severus, dear, you didn’t tell your students you were engaged, did you?”

Snape sneered at his food while (Y/N) laughed. 

“Engaged? Severus?” Squeaked Professor Flitwick.

“You didn’t tell us!” Minerva McGonagall exclaimed. “Might I see the ring dear?” She asked with a slight tilt of her head. 

(Y/N) smiled and held out her left hand to the Transfiguration teacher as the other woman inspected the ring. “My goodness! It’s very nice!” Poppy Pomfry chimed in sneaking a peek at the jewel in the centre.

“It was my idea,” Severus said glumly, “and it happens to be the stone of the month when we met. And it has our birth flowers carved into the side.”

“You’re forgetting one tiny detail darling.” (Y/N) said with a smirk, “It was my money.”

The other teachers gasped, as (Y/N) shook her head and giggled. “I come from a rather affluent family, it was a drop in the bucket that is my inheritance. I just like to make fun of him when I can.”

Snape rolled his eyes and took her hand again, with no prompting. (Y/N) drew her hand back to her side and turned to smile at Severus. 

She would have a full life ahead of her to tease him, but, for now, joking in front of his co-workers would have to do.

Author’s Note: If you are non-binary or non gender conforming please let me know if I did an OK job with Sam. I wrote them based on the personality of one of my non-binary friends. Just let me know so I can write more realistic non gender conforming characters. 

Author’s Note 2: Please send in requests for characters. All unmarked readers will be automatically assumed Fem. Make sure to send in a plot too. Bye!

[newcaptainofsquad9]

Not So Korean Drama~Park Sooyoung(Joy) x black!fem!reader

Pairing: Sooyoung/Joy x reader

Genre: Romance, Comedy(not really), College AU, Fluff

Summary: The it girl on campus, acting major and international student, Park Sooyoung  is all you can think about. You aren’t the only one, every person has a huge crush on her too. You want to ask her out, yet in the back of your mind you know everything about it would be unconventional.

  Warnings: Anxiety, Mentions of bi-phobia (nothing major), Mentions of Microaggressions 

Word Count: 4,206

Author’s Note: Here’s some Red Velvet, I also decided to write more black readers because I want to write more for black women like me. Also I know this is very niche so I hope you guys enjoy it regardless if you identify with the main character or not. Hope you guys enjoy!

Sometimes I see this mediocre, yet funny life of mine as a television show. A world where I’m surrounded by so many generic people, well they aren’t really generic, just similar to one another. That’s usually how it goes at La Rouge University , or as most of the students of color call it, La PWI. It’s weird though, I don’t really fit in with the other black students either, nothing against them but I’m just more on the nerdy side. I know that doesn’t make me unique, but there aren’t a lot of nerdy black girls on campus. The only one I found was Brianna, who was close to Wendy and Yeri. I found my band of friends but Wendy can be a bit insensitive at times. That’s one of the reasons why I keep my budding crush on Sooyoung. Where can I begin about Park SooYoung? There’s so much about her that draws me towards her, well regardless of her sense of style, straight black hair and the ability to pull off any lipstick color. 

“Um, earth to Y/N?” Brianna asks. 

I blink up from my book, a page that I clearly checked out from. I totally forgot we were in the library of all places, whoops. Of course Brianna’s holding a smug grin while she taps Yeri. 

“Look, Y/N’s lost in thinking about Sooyoung’s eyes,” she teases.

Yeri giggles as she takes Brianna’s hand tightly. 

“I know right, I don’t know why you don’t just ask her out already,” Yeri says. 

I cringe at how loud she said it as Wendy approaches our table with her usual blue sweatshirt, tan pants and bag slung across her shoulder. She must have gotten from her English class since she’s clutching her literature book for dear life.     

“Who’s asking who out?” she asks as she pulls up a seat. 

“Um, no one,” I say quickly. 

Wendy throws a deadpan look my way. 

“It’s gotta be about you Y/N,” Wendy notes. “You’re the single person at the table and if Bri and Yeri were cheating on each other I’m sure they wouldn’t discuss it in front of each other.”

Both Brianna and Yeri shrug as they link arms and kiss each others cheeks. 

“You haven’t found someone else, have you babe?”Yeri whines. 

Brianna nuzzles against her cheek. 

“You know I haven’t jagi,” Brianna coos. 

Yeri giggles at the pet name she taught Bri, earning a kiss on her lips. They’re cute, teeth rottenly so, but I always wonder how they got together. Of course they’re in the same major and have an obsession with Boba tea but what about their obvious racial differences, with Yeri being Korean and all. I’m curious but then again, it’s not my place to ask. It’s their relationship. 

“So, are you gonna tell me who it is?” Wendy asks while she pokes me with the end of her pen.

“Nobody,” I say.“None of your concern.”

Wendy pouts as her pokes grow faster. 

“Ah come on! You were fine with telling Yeri and Bri about it!” she groans.

“Yeah, but you’ll just kill the vibe,” I explain, “plus you know them so.”

Wendy gasps. 

“Really? Ah! So it won’t be hard to guess!” she says.“Is it Minseok from the Starbucks?”

Yeri giggles. 

“Uh, it isn’t a he, Wendy.”

Wendy blinks at Yeri’s statement as I send a Brianna a knowing glare. She nods and pats my hand. 

“Oh, I didn’t know you were into women, Y/N,” Wendy says. 

“Yeah, but I’m still into men too Wendy,” I say. “But yes, this crush is on a woman.”

“Oh ok,” Wendy says. “I didn’t know that was your thing but ok.”

I hold back my words, but Brianna doesn’t. Thank God.

“And what’s that supposed to mean Wendy?” she asks.

Yeri pinches the bridge of her nose as Wendy glances at each of us in confusion.

“What?” she asks.“Aw, did I overstep again?”

I nod sharply when Brianna scoffs. 

“Took a giant step over the line,” I say. “I’m bi.”

Wendy’s eyes soften. 

“I-I’m sorry Y/N,” she says. “I hadn’t realized and you never talked about it with us.”

“It’s fine,” I tell her with a pat of her hand. 

“So,” Yeri says, breaking the tension.“When are you going to ask her out?”

Fortunately Wendy’s all smiles again, yet she goes to asking me again.

“So, who is she? Oh! is it-”

I don’t even register who Wendy’s talking about as my focus shifts towards the entrance of the library. The double doors slide open, slowly (maybe its my hyperactive mind) and steps in the woman herself. Park Sooyoung. Of course she’d step in now of all times with her stylish tan trench coat, white turtle neck and dark skinny jeans. Just like in the TV shows she brushes a strand of hair behind her ear. Ok it is my hyperactive imagination, she’s even walking this way. Shit, no that’s actually happening. Wendy pokes me again. 

“Y/N? Oh!” she gasps, realizing. 

Sooyoung steps up to our table with a tiny smile and a wave. 

“Hi Wendy, Yeri,” she greets.

Her attention shifts over to Brianna and I. Me. Park Sooyoung is looking at me. 

“Oh! This is Y/N,” Yeri says as she squeezes Brianna’s hand. “And this is my girlfriend, Brianna.”

Sooyoung grins, flashing a few of her teeth as she bows slightly, reaching for Brianna’s hand, shaking it then holding it out to me. I. My skin flares as my words begin to disperse. 

“Nice to meet you,” Sooyoung says. “Brianna. Y/N.”

Her attention is back on me, her eyebrow raised as she notices that I haven’t taken her hand yet. I grip it quickly and shake it just as swift.

“N-Nice to, meetyoutoo!” I manage to blurt out. 

Sooyoung turns back to Wendy. 

“I just wanted to ask if Professor Philip put the PowerPoint online,” she says. “I had to miss lecture today because of rehearsals.”

Wendy waves her off. 

“You’re in the clear,” Wendy reassures. “He’s going over it again next class.”

Sooyoung releases a breath of relief, another smile engulfing her striking features yet again. 

“Thank you Wendy,” she says.

It’s as if the entire library started to notice Sooyoung, guys start to pop up that I don’t even know. I know one of them, Jackson Wang, a friend of mine, we aren’t close, yet I didn’t know he knew Sooyoung.  

“Yo Y/N!” he greets. “Bri, Yeri, Wendy!” 

He then turns back to Sooyoung.

“We should get going,” he says. “JB and Bam Bam are waiting.”

“Ah, you’re right!” Sooyoung exclaims. “It was nice meeting you both, see you guys around!” 

And just like that Sooyoung’s gone and around the corner with Jackson flanking her. Are they a thing? Last time I checked Jackson was endlessly flirting with Namjoon, the library’s part time receptionist and full time genius. I’ve confided in Jackson about my sexuality before, but I’ve never talked to him about Sooyoung. Oh God, they must be dating.

“Y/N, Y/N you still there?” Yeri asks.

I turn my attention back to the table. Brianna holds a shit eating grin as always, Yeri tries to stifle a laugh while Wendy narrows her eyes at me.

“Sooyoung,” she says. “You have a crush on Park Sooyoung.”

“Not just a crush,” Brianna notes. “A school girl crush, I know you saw how nervous Y/N got. She could barely speak.”

I hunker down further in my seat as my face flares again.

“Shut up,” I groan. 

Wendy giggles. 

“It’s cute Y/N, but I’m not sure if Sooyoung’s-” she pauses prior to continuing. “You know.”

I get an uneasy tingle from Wendy’s words. She’s right, what if she isn’t into women. What if she doesn’t like black people? Another stab that would hurt more.

“What Wendy?” Yeri asks. “Gay or Bi? it’s ok, you can say it.”

Wendy frowns. 

“Guys, I don’t mean to come off like that,” she groans. “I just don’t want her to get hurt. Sooyoung hasn’t been here in the states for a while, I’m not sure if she’s-accepting.”       

“Well if she’s hanging out with Jackson, who’s big bi energy by the way,” Brianna explains. “She’s got to be somewhat accepting.”

Yeri’s eyes soften at me as she reaches for my hand.

“That doesn’t mean you should give up,” she says. “Just talk to her.”

I slip further down into my seat, it’s easier said than done. Sooyoung’s an international student which means she only hangs out with other international students. I only know two of them: Wendy, born in South Korea but studied in Canada prior to moving here and Jackson who moved here from China on a football scholarship.  They’re friends of course, but even they blow me out of the water with their style and the looks they get from students. Sooyoung especially. 

“I guess, ah look at that!” I say while getting out of my seat. “I got class in ten.”

Brianna grins. 

“Your class doesn’t start until 3:30, it’s only 3:05.”

I nod with a quick smile.

“I know!” I say. “I just need to get away from this conversation. Talk to you guys later!”

I’m out and away from the table before they can utter a goodbye.

***

Class was dull as usual. Thankfully it ended before my eyes glazed over and I can grab some dinner before heading back to my dorm. The classroom empty's out quickly, I rush to the exit of the building, ready for that cool air to hit me. 

“Ey! Y/N!” a booming voice calls.

I turn to see Jackson. He’s clad in his black and red Letterman jacket with the letters L and R embroidered on the front. His hair’s also gelled back to perfection, it looks awesome might I add. 

“Hey Jackson,” I say. “What’s up?”

I slow my pace for him to catch up with me from down the hall. The cool air hits my face, I sigh, then turn to Jackson, who’s already behind me as I hold the door for him. 

“Thanks,” he says as he stuffs his hands into the pockets of his jacket. “You done with classes for today, right?”

I nod sharply. 

“Yep, you?”

Jackson chuckles.

“You know I don’’t have classes on Thursday,” he notes. 

I roll my eyes. If I didn’t I wouldn’t have asked. That’s what I want to say, but I restrain. I find myself doing that a lot here at La Rouge University. Don’t want to come across as that kind of black girl. Sure, Jackson and I are cool, I just don’t want him to put a thought into his head. I’m sure he’s seen many stereotypes of black women, black people in general. I don’t want to put that risk out, especially when Brianna and I have to had many talks with Wendy about it.       

“Hey,” Jackson says softly. “You good?”

I blink up at him as we stroll through the courtyard with the wind nipping at our skin. 

“Yeah, uh, I’m fine.”

Jackson smirks and leans closer to throw an arm around my shoulder. 

“So, Miss Y/LN,” he starts. “Tell me, how long has your little crush been a thing?”

I jolt at his words.

“Huh? C-crush? Nah, uh what do you mean a crush?”

Jackson chuckles and bats his eyes jokingly. 

“Don’t play coy!” he exclaims. “You looked like you were going to pass out around Sooyoung.”

My skin burns at his words. I wasn’t that obvious, was I?

“I-I, um, Sooyoung, who? Never heard of her.”

“Sure Jan.”

“When the hell did you watch the Brady Bunch?” I ask.

Jackson shrugs.

“I watched it with Yeri last weekend, you should have came over. I heard its a major part of American slang and memes which are hilarious.”

I nod in agreement. 

“Yeah, let’s discuss memes instead of Park Sooyoung oh-”

Jackson jabs his finger at me.

“You even know her last name, ha!” Jackson says. “You’re totally crushing right now.”

I sigh in defeat. 

“Fine, yes I like her all right. It’s not a big deal anyway.”

Jackson frowns. 

“It totally is,” he says. “Sooyoung and I are friends, along with classmates. I even know her schedule, for class and drama rehearsals.”

“Oh nice,” I say.

“I know that she’s free right now. Chilling at Reveluv Cafe, going over her lines, drinking some coffee or what not, looking stunning.”

I flush and cross my arms. 

“Yeah, probably flocked by drooling people,” I say. “She’s too stunning for her own good.”

“Yes, but unlike those drooling losers you’re going to talk to her.”

“I’m sorry, what? Jackson, no way,” I say. “She’s an actress, didn’t she act in a couple of K dramas?”

Jackson nods.

“Four actually,” he clarifies. “The first three were cameos, but the latest one she played a huge supporting role, over shadowed the male and female leads.”

“That doesn’t make my situation any better,” I deadpan. “she’s got status in her home country, gorgeous features and a promising career ahead of her. What the hell do I have?”

Jackson’s arm tightens around me.

“You’re sweet, pretty and nice to talk to,” he says. “You also have a career ahead of you crazy, that’s why you’re studying remember?” 

“You’re a friend,” I groan. “You’re inclined to say that.”

“Yeah, but even before we became friends, I always found you hot,” he admits.

I elbow him playfully in the ribs.

“Jackson Wang! Stop playing!” 

Jackson shakes his head.

“I’m dead serious, black women are sexy. And you definitely aren’t the exception.”

“Stop!” I laugh and playfully push him away. 

“What?” he chuckles. “look I know you find Asian guys attractive too! And I know good and well you like Asian women.”

He narrows his eyes and wiggles his eyebrows.

My face heats up as we enter the library for the second time today.

“Is there anything I can do to make you stop?” I joke.

Jackson nods.

“Talk to Sooyoung,” he suggests. “Hey, I can help! Start the conversation!”

I just stare at him as he puts his hands together. 

“Please?”

“Fine.”

***

Reveluv cafe is bright, a little too colorful for my taste, but still homey and comforting. The walls are covered in various fruits, some hand drawn and neon to bring, I guess variety. It’s cute. Even the floor is bright red, leading up to the counter that’s decorated with other tropical themes, the employees even wear sashes and white uniforms with fruit based buttons.

Jackson leads me to the lounging area of the cafe which has an area of circular tables and higher tables near the windows. Sitting at one in the corner at the far back is Sooyoung, her straight hair spills down her cream colored turtle neck. Her head’s down in a book, she’s transfixed on the page. 

“Jackson, maybe we shouldn’t-”

“Sooyoung, hey!”

Damnit Jackson.

Sooyoung’s head jerks up as a soft smile graces her lips. 

“Jackson, hi!”

I watch from behind Jackson. He walks up to Sooyoung, she stands and engulfs him in a hug. 

“How are lines going?” 

Sooyoung giggles.

“Great so far! What brings you and-” she pauses to look at me. “Hi, Y/N, right?”

I nod sharply. God, she remembered my name.  

“Yeah, hi Sooyoung.”

Jackson smirks with a knowing glare at me. Hasn’t this man clowned me enough?

“Y/N here was just nervous to speak to you.”

My hands start to tremble as Sooyoung looks to me with confusion.

“Why?” she asks. “You’re friends with Wendy and Yeri, so by default I think you’re cool.”

Wow. Park Sooyoung just called me cool. 

“Oh, she is,” Jackson declares. His mouth opens to say more, yet a slight buzz in his pocket stops him. 

“What is it?”

Jackson takes a look at his phone quickly before grinning back up at me, then Sooyoung.

“Sorry ladies, I kind of have a study date with Mr. IQ 148!” 

Sooyoung’s brows furrow. 

“Um, who?”

“Namjoon,” I say. “Jackson! Ah!”

I take his arm and whisper.

“You can’t leave yet,” I groan. 

Jackson pats my arm. 

“You got this babe, I promise to give you all the details with Namjoon if you give me the details you get with Sooyoung.”

God, this man is incorrigible.

“If I fuck this up you owe me so many smoothies.”

Jackson chuckles.

“You got to try first sweetie, she’s cool, you’ll see.”

Jackson says a quick goodbye to the both of us.

I turn back to Sooyoung who’s looking dead at me with her hands behind her back. 

“Would you like to sit?” she asks with another bright smile.

“Yeah, uh sure.”

She gestures to the empty seat across from her, I slide into it quickly, Sooyoung follows. 

“So, are you an English major like Wendy?”

I shake my head. 

“No, actually I’m a creative writing major.”

Sooyoung’s face lit up as she took a swig of her coffee.

“Really? So, you write your own books and stories?”

I nod, and try to hide a smile behind my hand. Her attention is fully on me. 

“Yeah, but mostly poems though,” I say, pausing once I meet Sooyoung’s eyes. I don’t finish, God I can hardly face her. If Jackson can see it than its got to be obvious to her.

“Y/N?” she asks. “Are you ok?”

“Y-Yeah, I-I I just-”

Sooyoung’s eyes soften as she takes my hand, which is already starting to get clammy and sweaty. 

“It’s ok, breathe,” she coaxes. “Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?”

I giggle, the action eases some of the anxiety. My heart rate goes down a bit, just a bit because Sooyoung’s hands are still over mine.

“I-I guess not to judge me, or freak out even,” I say. “I know we’re different, ok. And we’re both women.”

Sooyoung giggles, teeth baring rather sweetly.

“You’re cute,” she coos. “Yes, you’re American and-”

“Black,” I blurt. 

Sooyoung nods.

“Oh, I didn’t even notice,” Sooyoung jokes. She raises our interlocked hands together drawing my attention to my brown hand and her lighter, almost porcelain one. “Why? Is that an issue? Is that what’s making you so nervous?”

“Part of it, the truth is, I like you,” I admit. 

Sooyoung’s eyes widen, forcing me to pull my hand away from her own. She draws back to as she tucks a piece of her hair behind her ear. My trembles don’t die down, but the flaring in my chest does. I nod as my eyes travel down to the table, I can’t look at Sooyoung right now. Of course I made a fool of myself.

“I uh, I can leave you alone now-”

“Wait, Y/N!”

She grabs my wrist before I can get up, it startles me. 

Our eyes meet again, Sooyoung giggles, the confidence she oozes makes me glance down at the legs of her chair. 

“Can I admit something too?” 

I nod, she then sighs lowly. 

“Can you look at me? Y/N?” 

Before I can register her question warm fingers juts my chin up, forcing my attention on her face. She smiles and I swear her eyes lingers down at my lips for a moment prior to moving back up to my eyes. 

“I’m flattered,” she whispers. “You’re really pretty, I’d love to go out. Maybe next week, if that’s ok?”

“I, um, yeah,” I mutter. “I-I’m looking forward to it.”

***

Weeks come and go. The teasing from Jackson, Brianna, Yeri, even Wendy (surprisingly) continues as the dates with Sooyoung get frequent. We’ve start to hold hands even, which is a huge step for me (Sooyoung initiated it first of course).  Dating Sooyoung has been surprising to say the least, she’s even more flirty now that we know more about each other, which makes me more anxious to be around her now. It’s fun to be around her, she’s interested in aspects of American culture that she doesn’t know much about. One in particular being memes, thanks to Jackson himself and even slang. It rubs me the wrong way to hear her say, ‘sup sweetie’ at times but she’s still learning. Right? I’m just thinking too much into it. I’m sure she won’t start talking black and Jackson learned not to from me, along with a quick, yet needed scolding from Brianna.  

 I arrive at Sooyoung’s apartment a sweaty mess. This is the first time I’ve been to her apartment and I already feel like I’m gonna mess this up. She talked about living with someone, but what I didn’t expect was a stunning woman with straight, blonde hair to answer the door. I don’t remember seeing her around campus, I’m sure the people would flock to her as much as they flock to Sooyoung too. 

“Hi, uh,” I pause at how intimating she looks. “I-I’m uh, Sooyoung invited me.”

The woman chuckles as she gives me a quick once over. 

“You must be Y/N,” she notes. “Come in.”  

She steps aside for me which I do. 

The house looks like a loft inside: a low, white couch sits in the middle of the living room, a flat screen hugs the far wall, the carpet is clear and fluffy covering most of the floor, leading to the staircase. 

“Joohyun!” Sooyoung calls while rushing down the stairs. “Y-Y/N, hi.”

I give her a tiny wave as Joohyun chuckles. 

“Well, I’ll leave you to your date,” Joohyun says with a quick wink at me and a narrow eyed glare at Sooyoung. 

“How long are gonna be out unnie?” Sooyoung asks. 

Joohyun giggles and raises an eyebrow.

“Why?” she asks. “You both aren’t going to have too much fun, are you?”

My eyes scan down to the carpet to memorize how spotless it is. 

“Joohyun! Y-You’re so embarrassing!” Sooyoung exclaims. I see her black sock covered feet next to mine. 

“All jokes Sooyoung,” Joohyun explains. “I’ll be staying at Seulgi’s tonight. It was a pleasure meeting you Y/N.”

“Same here,” I say. 

When I meet Joohyun’s eyes her intimating demeanor disperses. An easy, toothy smile now replaces it. Once she waves and is out the door, Sooyoung’s hands are on my face. 

“I’m so sorry about her,” she groans. “She didn’t frighten you too much, did she?”

“Not really,” I admit. “Does she always do this to people she doesn’t know?”

Sooyoung giggles.

“Yeah, she’s just protective is all,” she explains. “Now, would you like to watch the show here in the living room or.”

She steps up to rest her hands on my sides. 

“My room could work, I have plenty of stuffed animals,” she suggests. “We could cuddle.”

She smiles, my heart flutters as she intertwines our hands together. I lose my breathe as she steps closer, our faces suddenly an inch apart. She’s using a bright, red lipstick, perfect at this distance. Kissabl-

“Can I kiss you?” she asks.

I nod, she tilts her head to the right before our lips meet. Her lips are smooth, with a cherry taste. I didn’t even know lipstick could taste this good. She smiles against my lips, her hands wind themselves around my waist in order to deepen the kiss. Sooyoung’s fevered kisses keep my lips moving with her, it continues until I run out of breath, forcing me to pull away. 

“How was that?” she asks prior to biting her lip. 

“It was I-”

It takes me a minute to gather my words. I never kissed a woman before and that was-

“Amazing,” I manage to say.  

Sooyoung chuckles lowly, takes my hand and leads me to the couch. 

“Yeah, would it be dope if we continue?” 

I cringe at the word dope, she notices right away.

“What is it? I’m rushing things aren’t I?” she asks.

I shake my head, but think about it for a moment. I want to have this conversation about our different cultures. Of course it’s something we’re got to talk about but why do I feel as if its so awkward? It’s just a few words, right? I just don’t want to come across as that kind of person. That kind of black person especially. 

“Y/N,” Sooyoung says. “Are you ok?” 

“Yeah, it’s just uh,” I pause to finally form coherent words. “Slang, it’s um kind of weird when you say it-not saying that it’s bad or anything its just.”

I pause again to sit next to Sooyoung, who listens intently. 

“It’s your thing, right?” she asks. “As an American?”

“As an African American, as a black person,” I say. “I just don’t want you to use certain terms without knowing where they come from. I’m curious about Korean too, but I want to go by it respectfully. I want to respect you.”

Sooyoung’s eyes lighten up, her fingers play with my right hand as a smile spreads across her face.

“I want to respect you too jagi, ah! To be honest I got most of those words from Jackson anyway.”

I roll my eyes. 

“I’m not even surprised.”

“So, can we still watch the drama?” she asks with a playful frown.

“Of course!”

Sooyoung lets out a delighted giggle, presses a quick kiss to my cheek and moves to turn the flat-screen on. Maybe dating Park Sooyoung wasn’t going to be so difficult after all. 

[panharmonium]

You know what would be lovely? If more fic would give me genuine Will&Merlin content. I fell back into this void lately, and realized that 9/10 times my boy Will gets shafted. (The ones that don't do that, though, are almost entirely excellent, to be fair). Let them be friends! Let them be queerplatonic lifepartners, if that's your jam! All this to say, I reread all your Will/Merlin content and I am very grateful for you and the other Pro-Will content creators. Thank you.

😍 So, occasionally in the past when I’ve written things about these two and said to myself, “hmmm this is pretty niche and I am the only one who’s ever going to read it,” I’ve encouraged myself by being like “ok but one day somebody just like me is going to go looking for fic about them, and, unlike me, they are going to find things to read, because I wrote a bunch of it.”  And now here’s this ask - what a nice thing to hear!  Thank you so much!  I am so glad you have enjoyed my stuff! <333

I too struggle with Will’s portrayal in most fic, so I hear you!  I’ve talked about it in more detail here and here, but it’s frustrating that Will’s ship tag with Merlin is 90% Merlin/Arthur fic, wherein Will is either a barely-mentioned ex/an antagonist/a current significant other who is (surprise!) not good enough and inevitably about to get dumped for Arthur, and even in gen fic he tends to just...only show up to be a sounding board for Merlin and Arthur’s budding romance.  Like...you can usually predict the exact scenes Will is going to have in fic where he shows up as Merlin’s friend, and they fall into the categories of a) “humorous” moments of him being aggressively heterosexual (where did this weird fanon idea that Will is Merlin’s inappropriate and/or sex-crazed friend come from?  there’s literally....ZERO canon indication of this) and then b) him being the person to whom Merlin periodically debriefs on how things with Arthur are progressing.  He’s just a character of convenience, most of the time.  In the genfics, his relationship with Merlin often doesn’t matter in its own right, and in the shipfics, it gets shafted.

And when I talk about fandom trends that I don’t personally care for, I always try to clarify that I’m not actually telling people they should write something different - this is fanfic; you can use Will for whatever, or not at all; go for it!  Nobody has an obligation to devote time to any character they’re not interested in; that would be silly.  I’m only talking about what I personally find satisfying.  And personally, I feel that Merlin’s relationship with Will is something that is important to him, and something that he has never considered to be secondary or less important than the relationships he built in Camelot.  So when it comes to whether or not I find a portrayal of Will satisfying, my metric is basically “do I feel like the author actually respects his relationship with Merlin as something that matters?  Do he and Merlin have a relationship that exists outside of Arthur Pendragon?  Is Will an actual character in his own right, or is he just there to serve a convenient purpose?”

In terms of shippy stuff specifically - I’ve only published gen fic about these two so far, but I too would love to see Will have more shipfic that actually belongs to him, particularly of the sort you mention (because that is the only way I envision Merlin as ever being involved in a “shippy” relationship, personally, at least when it comes to the canon version of himself).  The most important thing for me when it comes to Will and Merlin is their friendship, but I love them in any configuration, and it makes me a little batty that Will’s entire ship tag is basically Merlin/Arthur fic in disguise.  Like - Will is such a good person!  He is so devoted to Merlin’s well-being!  Every single thing he does in his brief canon appearance is done for Merlin’s sake, at his own expense, and I can’t understand why a character like that gets so snubbed in his own tag.  

So, given all that, it is super nice for me to hear from someone who is on a similar wavelength! :D  Thank you so much for this message, and feel free to drop into my askbox any time you need a Will & Merlin fix - messages about Will are my favorite thing to find when I log in, and I am literally ALWAYS ready to talk about these two. :)

[catharticdevice]

maybe life is not for everyone

I’ve been meaning to translate these jumbled mess of thoughts into coherent sentences. Just to see them from a distance. I don’t know why I think it matters—it really doesn’t. But here we are.

Come on in, everyone. Welcome to my version of a ✨spiraling free fall ✨

I’m okay, by the way—I think? If we share some commonality in terms of how we define okay, it really is not that serious. My suicidal thoughts have all been passive and my brain hasn’t lost its chemical capacity to perform my role as a functioning adult. In all honesty, I’m a bit wary of using the word depression; it’s such a blanket term that’s too intimately linked with the clinical branch of depression. The more nuanced lower end of the spectrum gets slided onto the back burner, because it’s not pressing—which is a perfectly sound logic. Given that none of my symptoms directly point to major/clinical depression, I’m more inclined to stay away from it altogether. My episodes are never debilitating to the extent that I ignore hygiene or fail to keep my job. So it feels stupid to be open about my minor inconveniences. I’d much rather invalidate my own mental struggle before someone can say to my face “You’re just faking it for attention—”

You know how people sometimes say “I haven’t been feeling myself lately,” More often than not, it indicates a varying degree of emotional disturbances—be it gloomy, anxious, in despair, discontent, bitter, or what have you. You recognize what your normal behavior looks like and you get a sense when it deviates off the course. In contrast, I can’t really tell if my low-spirited nature is just a part of a temporary mental distress or is it actually me. It has been my default state for as long as I can remember that it successfully assimilated into my personality traits. So much so that if I were to say “I haven’t been feeling like myself lately,” it would mean a good thing.

I learned to make peace with the way life works; how to navigate through the challenges while keeping my head above water. The secret is to give up all your hopes and be okay with not thriving. Life is not actually that bad when you feel apathetic. I’ve fully embraced my apathy and made it my home—very comfy here, 10/10 would recommend. Because who the fuck got time to do some thriving? Also, why must we thrive as humans? Why is that a necessity? Who decided that? Why can’t we just survive? How is it not enough to survive? 

Not quite sure what else there even is to life that makes me willingly choose it every single day. But surviving has to be enough for now. I am not putting any more effort into this bullshit. 

Anyway, that’s the baseline. That’s what my good day looks like. Lukewarm, with a hint of melancholy. Now, on to the good stuff—

Every time something drives me over the edge, my go-to coping mechanism has always been limited to safe non-lethal strategies, which include social withdrawal (textbook self-sabotaging behavior) and restrictive food intake (an effort to regain some sense of control apparently). It wasn’t until recently that my brain got a bit more creative and incorporated suicidal ideation into the mix. Whenever I only have my thoughts to keep me company, it’s incredibly easy to spiral into a self-destructive existential conundrum. Although the problematic eating behavior has now also progressed into a more frequent pattern. Anxiety is no longer needed to spur the action. I just need a win sometimes. And running on two cups of coffee and nothing else all day is the most instantaneous way to earn a sense of accomplishment. (PSA: I don’t recommend it though. It’s ok for me and me only, it really is not good for you, kids.)

I wonder, why has nobody told you that as you get older, cutting your life short is becoming a more and more interesting option? It really feels like I’ve maxed out on my lifetime serotonin quota—it’s all spent. I’m done. At this point I’m not even living anymore; I’m just wasting everybody’s time. The thought of having to endure 20-30 more years of this fucking non-consensual existence is such a nightmare. (Actually, with the rapidly accelerating climate change and billionaires continuing to play gods, 30 years is probably too generous.) 

When it comes to the subject of suicide, some people’s prevention approach is to say stuff like “...think about how that makes your loved ones feel,” or “There’s so many things you’re going to miss out on,” First of all, let’s think about how I feel, ok. This is about me—focus up! Secondly, I don’t know where you got your biology lesson from, but you actually don’t have to worry about missing anything if you don’t wake up tomorrow. Because when you’re flatlined, your neurons stop firing. Ergo you can’t think, you can’t feel—so you wouldn’t have any function left to miss anything. Win-win.

I’ve been told countless times that it’s temporary; that there will come a time when I won’t feel this way anymore. But man...when you’re swimming across any large, deep body of water and then around mid way you’re slowly feeling your energy level is plummeting below zero, we all know how that’s gonna end. There’s no way you would ever be able to make it to the shore. Even if it’s only a few feet ahead of you. There’s nothing you can do except to let the water take you in. 

I’ve been enjoying looking into how body donation works lately. Interesting hobby—quite niche if I do say so myself. Unfortunately Science Care does not currently operate where I live. Also, in Mass you have to sign a consent paper that’s called Instrument of Anatomical Gift. But there has to be two witnesses. Urgh...! Ideally, I’d like my heart to stop beating at the exact place where they would actually store the bodies before they’re being used. Dying in my apartment room doesn’t really appeal to me. I don’t want to create a hassle where somebody has to schlep my body around. Can you imagine being dead and still be a burden to someone? Also, where do people buy body bags? I wonder if they do like a prime 2-day delivery. In the event of a demise-causing-amount-of blood spurting out of my person, I wouldn’t want to leave a mess for someone to clean up—that would be rude. It should be much cleaner and easier to manage if everything is contained within a cadaver bag. 

...

Ok, you know what, never mind—too many things to be mindful of. Fuck. I can’t believe being too polite is the only thing keeping me from actually executing any plans. Nope. Let’s be honest, you’re just a wimp, Sash. One day, maybe.

Again, let me reiterate: I am A-OK. I assure you, you’ll still see me being miserable and think about dying tomorrow and the day after.  But other than that, everything’s fine. 

Peace out, homies.

[whispsofwind]

Buoni presagi, episode 2, part 1

Welcome to the third instalment of my very nitpicky, very petty recap of Good Omens, Italian Dub edition.

Here’s Episode 1, part 1 and part 2. Next

I’m putting everything under a cut because these tend to be longish and they’re about as niche as they come. If you don’t want to see them at all, you can blacklist the tag ‘buoni presagi’.

Sandalphon is still somewhat creepier than his English counterpart. He talks in a very slow drawl and it gives me the creeps.

Azraphel is still smug, but he sounds very nervous talking to Gabriele so that’s an improvement! Yay!

OH it finally dawned on me, Ligur is also the voice of one of the guys in Knives Out! It was driving me crazy.

Leslie is called the Notification-bringer (Notificatore), which I get because Summoner really doesn’t have a translation, but I don’t like how it sounds and therefore I’m going to whine about it. Also I know his voice actor but I can’t place him and now THAT is going to drive me crazy.

War has a lovely voice, very apt. Also, God calls her ‘a dear girl’, I’m cackling. I mean, sure, it all depends on your definition of ‘dear’. Or ‘girl’.

Major Pulsifer and Agnes’ voices are perfectly fine, which is a relief.

OK they did it again. They translated Major Pulsifer’s name (from Adultery blah blah blah to Adulterio), but they didn’t bother to translate Virtue’s name to Virtù. Why? Nobody knows, they clearly like to pick and choose.

(To be entirely fair, I am almost certain most of these things are straight from the first translation of the book, Azraphel’s name included. So, I really can’t blame the folk who did the TV adaptation. I am going to blame the original translators instead!)

Tiny Anathema’s voice actor is… Ok listen it’s clearly a child and I don’t want to make fun of a child but it’s not good.

I am however going to make fun of her mother- perfect Italian accent, and then she still drops the mi amor and it sounds so out of place.

I really like the voice they picked for Newt! It’s awkward and shy, and it really fits the character.

Adult Anathema’s voice is meh. I mean, it’s fine, but it lacks a bit of character, I think.

(Anathema? Anatema? I’m not sure if they changed the spelling, the pronunciation is the Italian one)

Witchfinder was translated to Witch Hunter, I suppose it sounds cooler? I think the literal translation of Witchfinder, “Trovastreghe”, would’ve been perfectly good, and probably better in terms of the general vibe of the show, but this is really a personal opinion (I mean, everything on this blog is a personal opinion, but you know what I mean).

They didn’t even try to give Shadwell an accent, and I’m somewhat relieved. Matching Shadwell’s kind of Northern British accent would probably require a Southern Italian accent, or at the very least a Sardinian accent. That's what they did with Willie from the Simpsons, they gave him a Sardinian accent. I'm not sure it would’ve fit the character of Shadwell though. They went with a gruff voice with no particular accent I can recognize instead.

Adding to the list of weird changes, Crowley’s little speech to himself goes something like; “easy job, deliver the antichrist, look after him, so easy. The type of job any demon could screw up”. I listened to it twice to be certain, and I don’t understand why the last sentence became affirmative, it doesn’t sound right in either language to me.

The whole plant execution was very well done though, with the last “grow better!” sounding almost hysteric. That’s good. Crowley’s voice actor is the best so far, really.

Oh I really dislike Tracy’s voice. It’s too… I don’t know, I want to say it’s too low but that’s not it, it doesn’t sound right to me? I did like her breathless “signor Shadwell!” after he’s done insulting her.

“You lost the child”

“We lost the child”

“A child has been lost!” Still the most married of moments! Unfortunately, the whole ‘You can’t do 90 miles per hour in central London” didn’t really stick the landing. It sounds less like Azraphel is scolding Crowley, and more like he’s whining about it.

However, giving credit where credit it due, I genuinely liked how he said “bebop!”, so I’m ending this on a positive note and I’m going to finish the episode this evening :D

[canmom]

If someone else was turning VECTOR into a hyper commercialized franchise, how would they butcher your baby?

lmao well, very kind of you to imply it’s not already star wars level bad. (the web novel in question if anyone’s wondering)

problems i think i have is that the State in VECTOR is too simple, too ‘obviously’ evil - because it’s kind of written off-the-cuff in pursuit of striking images. so it would be very easy to paint it as another sci-fi evil empire that has nothing to do with our own society.

but here’s a few ways you could ruin it for me:

go for the modern ‘gritty shakeycam realism’ choreography instead of something extremely stylised, dance-like and anime-inspired (if it couldn’t be, well, outright anime - VECTOR was kind of an attempt to emulate a sense of Kaneda-school, Imaishi-esque cinematography in prose before I decided to take a shot at becoming an animator for real)

make it less horny/less guro. the hypersexualised setting is a p vital part of its identity to my mind; likewise the violence is supposed to be overwhelming and hit hard or it’s pointless. obviously this means it would get a hard 18 rating and never sell! i know this shit is niche.

how they might write dialogue/characterisation, less traumatised characters. if you had the girls doing american-style action movie quips, you’ve missed the vibe.

making all the protagonists really skinny (and white, they might try that too...) instead of like, athletic, having muscles.

deciding it needs to have a ‘male lead’, or any heterosexuality whatsoever, which would completely undercut absolutely everything I’m trying to do here lmao.

likewise: casting cis people as any of the VECTORs. (casting cis ppl as the resistance members would be ok though ideally not all of them; the Director/CHIASMUS’s parents/random cops and such would be necessarily cis. the metaphor is not subtle, but you could imagine they’d try it.)

giving it a straightforwardly ‘happy ending’. I haven’t reached the ending yet so I don’t know what it will be but, I v much want to avoid cleanly tying everything up and leaving no lingering unease.

that’s some things i’d be afraid of, the other fear would be that, improbably, it does succeed, only to spawn endless franchise tie-ins that rehash the original story without doing anything new with it.

outside of those obvious errors... well, nobody’s ever gonna adapt my stuff so it’s fine lol, but there’s a very vague, ephemeral sense of visual inventiveness that i associate with like, broadly older anime and French comics, occasionally some American works that draw on those sources like Aeon Flux, or most recently stuff like K6BD’s extended riff on wuxia. without that sense of direction, the confidence with composition and colour and negative space and etc., it would feel kind of pointless.

basically: look at the differences between the original Aeon Flux animated series by Peter Chung, and the movie they made of that. or for a prose example, the YA novel Mortal Engines, and the movie they made of that. i’d hate to see something like that happen. tbh with the American movie industry as it is, I wouldn’t want them to touch it.

that said, I think there’s definitely plenty of places VECTOR could be improved. the opening is quite weak, for example, and I plan to rewrite it at some point. the ending to the last segment could potentially have more emotional weight.

setting-wise, I think the Witnesses (the steppe nomadic culture in danger of colonisation) need a lot of fleshing out beyond their brief appearances so far, with at the very least sensitivity reading and if it was going to film, giving someone writing input who has a personal stake there. I also feel like the everyday functioning of the State barely comes across. right now it’s sort of a cartoon setting: fleshing out by a good artist or writer, even if it’s barely relevant to the story directly, could add a lot of texture to it that I haven’t been able to give it yet.

honestly if I was to adapt VECTOR to anything, I think it would have potential as a webcomic. (animation would be ideal but that’s kind of beyond me working alone from my bedroom). I wouldn’t want it to be adapted in its current form - it’s too rough around the edges, and maybe a more polished rewrite as a comic with a consistent update schedule could find a real audience. who knows...

ty for the ask, it’s a fun thing to imagine. thankfully almost nobody reads my stuff so we’re in no danger here :p

[what-a-messsss]

2x2 rewatch

Eeeeehehehehe, why the fuck am I laughing this hard when I realized it was the roadkill compost episode?  That is not in the least funny, it’s actually pretty gross, but I’m literally paused 3 seconds in chortling to myself so hard that I’m having to wipe away tears.  ...I think the stress is getting to me.  Anyway, back to fictional Wyoming!

It’s actually a pretty genius business model, to be honest.  Taking a sadly repeating resource and using it to enrich the soil?  Tough work, no doubt, physically and mentally, but a smart and very niche thing.  I hadn’t thought about the fact that cleaning up roadkill would have been part of Walt’s job as a deputy.  Lucian said in S6, in his fantastically circuitous way, that it had been 10 years since he and Walt had worked together (if I remember correctly).  Which... wait, is that right?  Had Walt really only been sheriff for 4 years when the show started?  Which is a single term, before Branch ran against him.  I think I’d had the impression that he’d been sheriff for longer than that.  Or is my math just super borked?  (A very real possibility.)  Who were Walt’s deputies before these three?  Branch has  probably been a deputy for a while, Vic was hired a few months before the show and it isn’t clear for Ferg but it’s implied at least a chunk longer.  So who were his deputies for the rest of those 4 years?  (Aaaaaand this is how I grow OCs.  Shit.)

She names the roadkill?  Eeeeeh...

Branch, you douchecanoe.  You are very clearly not welcome in her home anymore; the fact that she hasn’t moved the spare key isn’t a fucking invitation to break in and invade her privacy, oh my gods I hate you so much.  This is predatory behavior.  You need to either go through official channels with the department to do a wellness check or FUCK RIGHT OFF into the deepest reaches of hell.  Excellent plan, fucking off.

Henry,  I adore you beyond measure.  “Thanks-taking.”  Vic... Seriously?  “God, you people really hold a grudge.”  Somehow, I think they’re kind of entitled to, what with all of the wars, genocide, stolen land, racism, broken treaties, and the like.  Get bent.

Genuinely, Henry’s dry as anything sass is quite possibly the best thing about the whole show.  We didn’t get nearly enough of it during the later seasons.  And his little smiiiiile at having made Walt chuckle, oh my heart.

The “Hands up!”  O.o  “Hands down!” little comedy gag is totally sold by KS’s face, haaaa.  And Ferg’s bafflement, but collected response to those truckers thinking he was a rentboy was solid.

I kind of have to applaud that sex worker’s gumption to just try to take off in the truck.  Not the best thought out plan, to be sure, but gutsy.

Ok, Branch has just had a line establishing that they’re not in Absaroka, and then Vic and Ferg look annoyed/confused when Walt tells them to cut the sex workers and customers loose, but then Branch finishes with, “Absaroka County wishes you all a fine evening... at home.”  So are they in Absaroka, or not??

Kudos to Walt saying, “Which will allow you to get out of here.  If that’s what you want.”  Not falling completely into the savior complex bs is good, and acknowledging that she is an adult who can make her own decisions, even if they’re ones he would wish she wouldn’t is good.  ........If only he could extend that same courtesy to his own daughter.  

Branch, wtf.  It’s a felony to even have burglar’s tools.  Legit, it’s a felony punishable with up to 3 years in prison or up to $3k, or both.  Unlawful entry is 10 years and/or $10k, and I’m pretttttyyyyyy fucking sure you don’t have a warrant to be in Cady’s house.  FUCK OFF.  You giant douchecanoe.  (Min and I also have a headcanon that the random coloured empty frames are Branch’s fault, because they don’t really go with any of the rest of the decor, and we hate them.  So we decided that when he saw the Andy Warhol style print she had that he got those for her and she just never got around to taking them down after they broke up.)  And isn’t tampering with someone’s mail a federal offence?  You are the worst.

Aaaand then Walt calls the Collettes showing Ross Lanten’s wife video of him with prostitutes “interfering in his marriage.”  Okaaaay.  Because helping get a woman and kids out of what has several hallmarks of an abusive marriage is “interfering,” I guess.  Not the happiest about that word choice, I’m not gonna lie.

Aaaaaand then Whitish is super racist, and I hate her.  Henry handles it with grace, but fuck, I cannot imagine how wearying that must be.  And Branch makes obnoxious and offensive assumptions (playing to his strengths, natch), and Henry once again demonstrates how he is also the Actual Best.

Nobody has heard from Cady recently, but the tiny little hesitation Henry has before he confirms that he hasn’t heard from her either is so good.  LDP is so good.  Just from that, it reinforces how much that bothers him, and that he’s worried, but also that he really doesn’t want to talk to Branch about any of it.

“If you do, will you let me know?”  “I most certainly will not.”  Such a classy way to basically tell Branch to fuck off and get wrecked.  

A lady threatening Henry with a knife and I should not be focusing on how great he looks in a vest, but heeeeere we are.  (I do love that brown vest.)  And even after she is drunk and rude and racist and threatens him, Henry’s look when she says that she knew the dead man still has concern and compassion in it.  Waaaaaah.

Do I remember what Walt did to his hand?  Was that something from this episode that I’m not remembering right now, or are they actually having some intra-episode continuity and that bandage is him still recovering from the start of frostbite?  [Dang it, my Xbox controller just pooped out.  Now I have to go swap it out for the other one and stick this one in the charging dock.  But I’m so cozy in bed with my jar o’ tea and everythinggggg.  Boo.]  ...  [It has been long enough since I wrote that last bit that my Xbox has shut itself down twice in the interim.  Oops.  I’m super great at focusing.]

Fuck, that “I was some place I shouldn’ta been” hits hard.  This whole seen in rough.

Aaaahaha, why is the fact that Ferg is also standing there looking at Walt when he wakes up so much funnier than if it had just been Vic?  And his little grin.  And Ruby with a mug of his toothbrush and such for Walt!  Rubyyyyy!  (Holy shit, the fact that they have this little set up is alarmingly adorable, and I heckin’ adore Ruby.)  And then she sasses Branch, and I just want nice things for her.  

Walt’s “If you want,” to Ferg came off to me more like, ‘waste your time if you want to,’ (though that could well be my own issues projected” but I’m proud of Ferg for running with it.  And I do appreciate Walt calling the sex worker a lady.

Of course, he pulls Henry into his bs, getting him to solicit a sex worker.  Why does Henry put up with him?  I’m sorryyyy, but the pointing is so awkward and I cringe so hard, but what else is he going to do, I guess?  And how does he recognize her anyway?  Did Walt take a picture of her before letting her go, or something?  It doesn’t seem like he even got her name, to pull up a picture from a rap sheet, sooo...  Why am I even worrying about it?  And at least Walt doesn’t think that it’s not rape just if it’s a sex worker.

The flashback scene sure hits hard, too.  Damn.  I’m trying to remember the last time I saw anybody other than Vic actually pull on a glove in consideration of fingerprints.  I think there might have been one time or something, but nothing comes readily to mind.

For all that I rag on Walt for just collecting his assumptions and taking them to the bank, there is heavy irony with him now laying out the reasons he’s not arresting Whitish, because there is reasonable doubt in the form of the Collettes.  

Ooooooope, and then Branch brings up Cady.  I sure this can only go really well.  Aaaaaaaaand of course Walt has one of his Longmire Epiphanies and just walks off in the middle of the conversation, such as it was.

Does a college registrar’s really have your birth certificate on file?  I’m pretty sure I didn’t have to submit a copy to mine, but I also don’t really remember?  But that seems weird.

Ah, the bandage was about the frostbite.  I appreciate the continuity.  

Hmmmmmm, Cady leaving her phone at home when she drove to CO seems unlikely.  It seems unlikely as a generality for her generation, and on practical levels (directions to the precinct and such?), and just... That’s pretty hard to buy.  If I don’t want to talk to somebody, or even a bunch of people, I’d ignore calls or even block numbers, but her not taking her phone gives the impression that there is literally nobody that she would want to talk to, and that plays into this really weird bit of characterization void that the writers fell into of Cady just not knowing any single person other than her dad, Henry, Ruby, Branch, and Ferg, and I guess Vic.  As if she just doesn’t exist outside of her relation to one of them.  She doesn’t want to talk to any of the 6 of them, so there is not a single other person on the planet who she would want to be able to talk to/have them contact her?  There’s not a single other person on the planet that she knows who if they called and said, “I have an emergency, can you talk/help?” that she wouldn’t want to be available for?  Bullshit.  The entire rest of the series when she’s onscreen is showing how much she cares.  She’s a fucking Hufflepuff, and she’s not going to leave her damn phone at home while she drives 6 hours away into another damn state.  If you so desperately need to that she’s not even seeing his call, have her leave it in her car when she goes into the Denver station.  Like, unless she has a second phone that she did take, I’m not buying it.  Even as an attempt at “she’s so caught up in her mother’s murder now, oooo, Longmire tantrum and singular focus’ characterization.  Just, boo.

[minijenn]

Random Keys/UF Crossover Ideas

Because I’m torn between both of my projects right now and I hate myself, here’s something that’ll only really appeal to the very niche audience of people who read both Universe Falls and Keys to the Kingdom. Basically its a list of somewhat spoilery (for Keys more than UF) headcanons of what it might be like if the Gravity Falls world scheduled to be in Keys was a Universe Falls world instead (in the sense that it still takes place in Gravity Falls physically but like... its set in the universe of Universe Falls (oy I’m explaining too much lemme just start rambling off the random ideas that have been popping into my head over the last several days of this hypothetical crossover of my two stupid fanfics):

For reference’s sake, on the UF end of things, this would take place somewhere around the middle of arc10ish, pretty close to Weirdmageddon as the GF world in Keys is gonna take place pretty close to Weirdmageddon too. 

For Keys, the trip to this world would still take place in the same spot the GF world does, so semi close to the end of the story, as one of the last Disney worlds of the fic (guess it wouldn’t really be a “Disney” world here but ehhhhhh) 

Guess I better give some context about what’s going on in each fic around that time; UF’s is easier to do so we’ll start with that; basically without spoiling a certain upcoming arc ender too much, during arc 10, everyone’s sorta frazzled what between all of the interdimensional travel, worries about Bill coming back and causing chaos, worries about the Diamonds possibly getting involved in stuff, shaken by the recent revelation that Rose allegedly shattered Pink Diamond and so on (basically there’s a lot going on in the leadup to UF’s ending hahaha) 

Context for Keys (again without getting too spoilery (gotta tread even more careful here) is that by this point in the story Sora is basically in nonstop Panic Mode about the whole norting thing thanks to a certain encounter with one Bald Old Fuckhead during the Aladdin world immediately before this; so Sora’s on the run from basically his entire support system cause he’s all worried about unintentionally hurting his friends (and he also just doesn’t want Riku or Kairi in particular to see what’s happening to him cause Disaster Bi). 

Cont. Context for Keys cause that last bullet point was Long: Despite all this fuckin Angst, Sora’s still out searching for the Keys on his own in the hopes of securing the final few for the guardians of light before he can be fully norted and forced into handing them over to the Organization instead 

Not to mention those freak relatively dark/light powers of his are alll outta whack cause he A. Doesn’t know how to control them At All and B. Is Emotionally Distraught so that’s only making things worse

And the entire gang is more or less out searching the worlds tryin’ to find Sora (he yeeted his Gummi Phone off a fuckin cliff or something just so nobody could get in touch with him smh what a waste of a perfectly good cell phone); among the teams that are out doing so include the one we’re gonna focus on here, Ven and Roxas  

Back to the UF end of things, I wanna talk about where each of the Mystery Kids are at this point; Steven is sorta all over the place with, again, the revelation that his mom could have been a murderer; Dipper is hella nervous about the idea of Bill getting his hands on the Rift (even moreso after RMD cause PTSD is Somethin Else kids), Mabel is in that mindset of not wanting the summer to end so they can all stay together, and Connie is basically (as usual) the only one with any brain cells as she’s trying to hold the gang together

(lowkey spoilers for the Keys GF chapters start here) So Sora arrives in Gravity Falls, suffering from all the angsts and anxieties and whatnot and just Not Having a Very Good Time Emotionally/Mentally as he starts lookin around for the Key in the woods or whatever

But lo and behold everyone’s favorite Evil Corn Chip just so happens to be spyin’ on him, and before too long Bill makes his appearance and acts all friendly to Sora, claiming that he can basically undo the whole norting thing (which he knows all about because of course he would, this is Bill Fucking Cipher we’re talking about here)

Sora’s skeptical but at the same time he’s sort of willing to do whatever he can at this point to keep his heart from being taken over by Mr. Bald Old Fuckhead and all Bill is asking for in return is for him to nab some sparkly snow globe that he claims already belongs to him but was stolen by some local family who Bill makes out to be pretty bad so hey, why not at least give it a shot? (dumb, the kid is dumb this is something we’ve established many times over by this point)

So Sora sets out to look for both the rift and the Key (while also being harangued by Xemnas who’s the Org. baddie of the GF world but errrrr i don’t have a ton of ideas about what he’s gonna do yet so we’ll just skip over that for now and focus on somethin else)

Something else being the fact that Sora happens upon a bunch of kids being attacked by a group of Nobodies, so he swoops in to save them even though the kids already look like they’re holding their own pretty well against them (two of them are out here swinging swords around, one’s really handy with that grappling hook while another one has some sort of magical shield? Its weird??? But cool imo) 

So they all team up to take the Nobodies out and following that, Sora meets and mostly hits it off with the Mystery Kids

Mabel is super hype (she kinda instantly crushes on Sora as soon as she sees him even though he’s too fuckin old for her); Steven and Sora radiate the same sort of Sweet But Sad energy so of course they’re best friends immediately 

Connie’s a lil bewildered by Sora (who the hell goes around swinging a giant key like its a sword, that’s just not practical???) but Dipper’s distrustful radar is instantly raised for a a number of reasons, but the biggest red flag he notices about Sora by far is that his eyes are yellow (btw by this point his eyes will more or less be completely yellow and his hair almost entirely white; he usually wears his hood up to try and hide that, but it got blown off during the forementioned fight) 

So the kids were out and about in the woods for mystery hunting reasons, mostly cause they were trying to cool their heads from all of the stress they’re under mentioned earlier (and cause hey, the summer’s ending soon and they gotta spend all the time they can together at this point) 

However, they quickly change gears when they learn about Sora’s quest to find some magical Key and they all eagerly decide they wanna help with that cause it sounds hella rad; Dipper would likely be the only dissenter to this plan, but he’d be lowkey about it, kinda deciding to keep a suspicious eye on Sora all the while (he doesn’t really act like he’s being possessed by Bill, but ya can never be too sure nowadays...) 

So they all set out in search of the Key (Sora decides not to tell them about Bill or the rift just yet, but even so right off the bat he’s basically decided “yes I’m adopting all four of these kids as my new little brothers and sisters and no one can stop me”)

So cut to the other end of things and we have Ven and Roxas who have basically only just met each other face to face for the first time (they’re both basically constantly doin that spiderman look alike meme); they’ve been more or less teamed up to look for Sora together tho, and they both got a massive guilt complex about the whole thing cause they used to be able to directly protect him inside his heart but now they can’t since they’re out of it so they’re determined to find him and make sure he’s OK

They also show up in Gravity Falls, arriving much closer to the Mystery Shack and the Gem Temple than Sora did; since its the closest thing nearby, the boys decide to venture over to the Mystery Shack to look first 

After some brief, confused yet fun conversation with Soos and Wendy, they bump into Stan and that initial meeting goes something like: 

Stan: Who the hell are you two supposed to be? You twins or something?

Roxas: No??? What the fuck is a twin??

Ventus, realizing that Roxas has like 0 real world experience or regard for world order at that moment right fucking there: (oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck) Ummmm YES WE ARE WE’RE TOTALLY TWINS AHAHA AREN’T WE BROTHER?

Roxas, immensely confused: What the hell is a brother??

And then Ford shows up and Roxas looks between him and Stan is just like “ooooh ok now I get what a twin is” and Ven is just like “oh my god I think Roxas managed to catch some of Sora’s stupidity after all asdkjalsdkalsd” 

Anyway after all this awkward confusion is over, Roxas and Ven bring up that they’re there looking for someone, and while neither Stan nor Ford are that invested, they do offhandedly mention maybe the Crystal Gems can help

Ironically enough, the Gems happen to burst into the shack right then and there, taking refuge from the surge of strange creatures swarming outside (Nobodies & Heartless); the Gems are rather overwhelmed by them since their weapons don’t work that great on them so they’ve come to seek Ford’s help (since he’s got all those weapons and lasers and shit he keeps stockpiled) 

In this Ven and Roxas end up meeting the Gems and both of them are just like :O (Ven’s lowkey like, “Aqua would get along great with these ladies, they’re total badasses just like her!”) and the Gems just kinda pass the boyos off like “yeah whatever there’s a fuckton of monsters outside meanwhile where are our kids?”

Stan and Ford are like *shrug* cause neither of them are very good at being Responsible when it comes to keeping an eye on these danger-prone kids and the Gems are just like *facepalm* “Morons” so they set out to find the kids and Ven and Roxas are like “well they know their way around here so why not go with them to see if we can find Sora too!” and so they all head out on a lil adventure

Then a whole bunch of stuff happens on both sides of the plot that I haven’t bothered to figure out; bunch of cute character interactions and whatever; insert possible second encounter with Xemnas in here somewhere where he basically shows up just to intimidate Sora but Sora’s like “no way jose, you touch any of these precious kiddos and you’ll Die” 

Somewhere in here, under... some circumstances, Sora and the MK make it back to the shack but like... everyone’s gone? (cause they all went out to look for them, didn’t even leave a note, fuckin rude) 

They search the house for anybody and then, on complete fuckin accident, Sora finds his way down into the basement (the portal room to be exact) and what else does he find down there but that thing Bill asked him to get (the rift)! 

Though he’s a little confused about why its there (Bill did say some awful family “stole” the rift from him, but none of the MK are awful, they a bunch of Good Kids); Sora still pockets it like a desperate dummy dumb anyway and doesn’t say a word about it to the kids because he thinks they might be too innocent and young to know anything about it anyway (he’s wrong of course because much like him these kids are Traumatized with a capital T but we’ll just ignore that for now)

Still on the search for that Key, Sora and the kids head out only to run right into Stan, Ford, and the Gems on the way out; course, Ven and Roxas are still with them and they see Sora and they’re like :D while Sora’s just like “aw fuck” and runs away from his problems like always

So he rushes off into the woods and who else would show up but that Motherfuckin Evil Corn Chip again who’s like “yo kid ya got the stuff” and Sora’s just like “brb having a panic attack rn” but then he ends up obliviously handing the rift over anyway cause again he’s incredibly desperate for any way out of his current horrible situation

Of course because I’m a sap for Drama, he happens to do so just as all four of the MK show up, having followed him into the woods and ohohohoh boy oh boy let’s just say them seeing Sora just up and giving the rift over to Bill would be a Moment (well, at least for Steven and Dipper cause they actually know what the fuckin rift is unlike Mabel and Connie who still wouldn’t at that point) 

So basically Bill is a little shit and takes the rift, but he can’t actually fuckin do anything with it cause he’s a physical object and he’s still intangible (or somethin like that idk I just don’t want Weirdmageddon to happen cause it would make things too complicated) so he’s like “fuck gotta find some stupid sap to possess so I can smash this dumb thing” and he nearly targets Sora (cause the kid was already stupid enough to help him in the first place so why not?) until Steven ends up being the one to fend him off using his shield 

Bill shrugs it off and makes off with the rift anyway (its like... hovering or something? idk I’m running out of steam) and everyone panics of course, especially Sora cause he’s just like “well shit I certainly Fucked Up didn’t i?” and the MK are both a mix of “YOU THINK?” (from Dipper and Connie mostly) and “imo not your fault Bill’s tricked just about all of us he’s an asshole” (from Steven and Mabel)

Amidst this a bunch of lil things also happen; the Stans and the Gems show up (along with Ven and Roxas), basically everyone is immensely confused (aka those who have no idea what the fucking rift is) and alarmed (those who do know what the rift is) that Bill has what he needs to more or less fuck the entire world over 

So everyone just decides to put everything aside and team up all together to track Bill down and get the rift back before he can break it (there’s a lot of heartwarming trust moments in here, mostly cause trust is like... the cornerstone theme of the GF chapters in Keys for obvious reasons) 

They eventually do find him and *insert big epic battle scene here* where everyone teams up to basically beat Bill to death or whatever (don’t ask me how they be doin that if he’s intangible, again I.... I’m tired and this post is long enough as it is) 

Yadda yadda yadda they beat him, get the rift back and effectively prevent Weirdmageddon from happening to begin with (which just does SO much wonderful fuckery for UF’s timeline moving forward but whatever, this ain’t about that) 

Oh and during that Climactic Battle Scene somewhere there’s some bit about Sora learning to better trust others/himself that leads to him getting the world’s Key? I-I I dunno its a work in progress...

Anyway after this there’s a lot of good character interactions all around, reconciliations between the UF characters and the Keys characters, particularly between Sora and the MK (again he’s adopted these kiddos and don’t you forget it)

So with the Key in hand, Sora starts to leave and Roxas and Ven almost convince him to go back with them until *insert Big Keys Spoiler here that results in the Organization getting their hands on that Key Sora just got and also results in Sora running away again cause... reasons*

And that’s the end of the chapters or whatever idk 

There’s probably more ideas I had in mind for this but I literally can’t do anymore my brain is dying 

I might possibly write this for reals someday i dunno I’m stuck in two personal hells here so I might as well combine ‘em

Yes I’m aware this post leans more heavily on Keys than UF but its set in the world of UF so fuck off 

Feel free to add on with any thoughts you might have about the idea

I’m tired

Amen