#ok so in order we've got:

[crabbunch]

found a couple of old calendars and slowly cut them up into beautiful women <3 tumblr crops images weird so you can click on em to see em better

[jedi-starbird]

Alpha-17 and Obi-Wan being friends (derogatory) on 17's part and friends (threatening) on Obi-Wan's part is such an underrated dynamic

They could be so funny and terrifying, like Obi-Wan went through a soul shredding experience with Alpha-17 as his only company. They're friends because what else are you gonna be after you witness each other at absolute rock bottom from torture.

It's like 'dog put in cage of cheetah who's threatening to go crazy', except the dog is a grizzly bear and also threatening to go crazy.

Emotional support trooper except the trooper in question has never done any sort of supporting in his life and is actively an emotional distress trooper to a great number of the CC batch.

I want them texting everyday, I want Obi-Wan mailing handmade BFF bracelets to Alpha and Alpha sending pics back of him flipping off the camera but still wearing them, I want Alpha using Obi-Wan to keep track of and occasionally terrorize his cadets, I want 17 ending problems in the GAR (like Krell) before they begin because Obi-Wan has him shipped out on a personal transport at the first opportunity, decked out with slug-throwers Obi-Wan got him for his decant-day.

Natborn officers think this is all just an odd indulgence of General Kenobi, the Vode, however, correctly identify it as a goddamn threat and their danger assessment of Obi-Wan ticks up significantly.

When Alpha arrives on Kamino, Shaak Ti presses a shiny new comm into his hand. It has the Jedi Order symbol painted onto it alongside a smiley face sticker, and it pings immediately with a new message: Hello! I hope you're settling in well!

Alpha stares at the message, stares at the singular contact named 'OWK' and then stares Shaak Ti in the eye as he pitches the comm straight into the ocean. Shaak Ti's serene smile only grows larger as she calmly reaches into her robes and pulls out an identical comm, only this one has a frowny face sticker, and presses it into his hand. It lights up: I'm afraid we've bonded, Alpha :). Alpha shuts it off and pockets it with resignation.

Cody arrives on Alpha-17's personal recommendation.

A-17: He's the most difficult little bastard I have. You're perfect for each other. OWK: Thank you, he's very handsome :3 A-17: No. Stop.

The first thing he asks once he gets comfortable is who his general is texting so much that has him swinging his legs and twirling his hair. Cody assumes it's Anakin, given they seem joint at the hip anyway, but little does he know Obi-Wan's ability to consistently have the Weirdest Relationships Ever.

"Oh, it's Alpha-17, I understand you're familiar with each other?" Hmm. OK. Cody.exe is experiencing a processing error, please hold. He exits the room instead of answering. The next day he peeks over the General's shoulder when he's texting and sees walls of rambling messages from Obi-Wan. Alpha-17 replies every hour with a single text: Lose this number. Obi-Wan giggles. "He's so funny." he says.

When Obi-Wan meets the rest of the CC batch, Cody makes sure to stand perfectly angled so that he can record the reactions when his general cuts off their introductions with "Oh, no need, Alpha-17's told me all about you." It's always immediate FEAR.JPG followed by a slow spiral of What The Fuck.

What do you mean by that General. What does that mean Cody. What do you mean they text. No. Cody. What the fuck is happening, Cody. Alpha-17 doesn't have friends he has enemies and enemies he tolerates enough not to shoot on sight.

OWK: Wolffe reached for his vambrace? when I mentioned you A-17: That's where he keeps his spare knife. OWK: Hm that does explain the way he eyed me up, ambitious. A-17: Clearly not enough, he should have followed through. I taught them better.

[cornfieldsrambles]

YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO INFODUMP PLEASE TELL ME ABOUT WIGGLY'S SIBLINGS???? THAT HE APPARENTLY HAS????

omg ok SO

Meet the Lords in Black. Charming, aren't they?

Yes, Wiggly does indeed have four brothers who all do different things, so I'll cover them one by one, in order of introduction (since we've already met each of them in Nightmare Time at least once). BTW Nightmare Time has a fuckton of lore in it that I won't go into here, so even though I am about to spoil significant parts of it for you, I do recommend watching it, it's really good and if there's enough interest they might make a third one!

(Also you might notice they're all in doll form in this picture. This is how we knew them up until NPMD introduced us to what I call their Tumblr sexyman forms. Which are rad as hell by the way.)

So you already know Wiggly. That little green fucker, Wiggog Y'Wrath, the Capitalist Cthulu who does uwu-speak and starts a cult by invading people's minds. This will become a bit of a reoccurring theme with these guys. He's also the only one to successfully start an apocalypse, and the only one to have attempted to birth himself into our reality. (Or is he? We'll get to that...) He does seem to have some kind of dominion over the other LiB, as whenever all five of them show up there's always emphasis placed on him, like in NPMD where he does most of the talking while his siblings occasionally butt in.

Now for Bliklotep. Blinky seems to have slightly lower-scale ambitions than Wiggly, but don't let that fool you. Eyeball Boi is still incredibly dangerous. He runs an amusement park, WatcherWorld, deep within the Hatchetfield Witchwood. But it's not for the amusement of the patrons. Oh no. It's for Blinky's own amusement. Once you step inside, every insecurity, every shred of potential conflict will be ripped to the forefront, turning people against each other to the point of trying to kill each other until he's fully infected their minds. It's implied that, if not all, but a significant chunk of the workers at WatcherWorld were once patrons before having their minds taken over by Blinky. He's also implied to be the thing in Trail To Oregon that Jack Bauer sees during his venom-induced hallucination, as Blinky is referred to as "The Watcher With 1,000 Eyes", which is exactly what JB says he sees? Making Blinky the only LiB to induce a Starkid crossover. My headcanon is that the Dikrats founded Hatchetfield. But regardless.

Next up on the roster is Tinky. T'noy Karaxis, the Time Bastard. You may be wondering about that one line in NPMD where he recognised Pete as a Spankoffski, and said he "could have the whole set in his toybox". Has Tinky gone after Pete's relatives?

Well. Um. You know Ted, right? Yeah, his name is Spankoffski. He's Pete's big brother. We actually got the surname reveal before the brother reveal, lol. And that's not the only reveal we got about Ted. Our boy Teddy Bear has this whole entire tragic backstory and it turns out he gets fucked over in literally every timeline! Isn't that fun?

So, to summarise an entire episode: Tinky makes travel fuckery happen, Ted wants to go back in time to fix his life, accidentally goes back to before the time machine was created and gets stuck in the past, literally. Tinky is watching and laughing at the whole thing, then shows up to blow Ted's brain to smithereens with his weird little magic box, the Bastard's Box, where he stores all the people he toys with. Anyway Ted eventually catches up with the present by aging, except now no one knows who he is, he's... actually I won't spoil that. But once he dies he ends up eternally trapped and tortured in the Bastard's Box. Yaaay.

Fast forward to Nightmare Time 2 and we get introduced to Nibbly, in possibly the most unexpected way imaginable. He's revealed to have been behind a whole episode literally right at the end of said episode, and even though it was kind of foreshadowed, it hits you like a freight train in the best way. Remember when I said Wiggly was the only one who tried to birth himself into reality? That was kind of a lie. Nibblenephim can sort of do that anyway. Every year, he can possess a bunch of carcasses and create a living form to walk the earth for one night. He also has a cult of followers who provide him with the carcasses, as well as a sacrifice to feed on. There's a little more to it, specifically with how the sacrifice is chosen, but again, I'm trying to spoil as little as possible. Go watch Nightmare Time. Nibbly also seems to have a "pig" motif, and his theme song, The Nibbly Ditty, is a banger, easily my favourite of the three LiB theme songs we've heard so far.

And finally, we are introduced to Pokotho, in the very last episode of NMT2.

Except no. We were formally introduced to Pokey there, yes, but we've seen his apocalypse already. Long before NPMD, before Nightmare Time, even before Black Friday.

Yeah, remember me saying that Wiggly was the only one to successfully start an apocalypse? That was also a lie! Pokey already did that, and he did it without ever showing his masked face. Remember The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals? The blue spores that came down in a meteor and turned everyone into singing zombies? That was Pokey's doing! That's his blue spores! That's his apocalypse!

This also provides an explanation for why blowing up the meteor didn't work. Emma and Hidgens were right about the hivemind thing, but wrong about the location of the central brain. It wasn't the meteor - the meteor was just the vessel which carried the spores to Earth. The central brain was sitting safely up in the Black and White, laughing as Paul blew himself to smithereens. The central brain was Pokey, the Singular Voice, the most uncompromising of his brothers. The one who hates every voice that is not his own, hence the hivemind and making all of his zombies speak in HIS voice.

Anyway in NMT2 he's happily collecting musical zombies by taking on a human form and infiltrating a fighting ring of superpowered children until he has enough to kickstart another apocalypse. (Don't question it, we're almost done). He also calls himself Otho, not Pokey, making him the only LiB to have two different abbreviations of his name. Hannah is also there (remember her? Lex's little sister?) and she is like incredibly important to this whole thing, she has a super powerful mind, but that's a whole other thing.

But I did mention Hannah for a reason. Because you said "Wiggly's SIBLINGS". And while the Lords in Black are always referred to as brothers, they do have one more sibling. A sister. A Queen in White. And her name is Webby.

Yep, Hannah's imaginary friend isn't imaginary, who could have guessed? She's benevolent, always trying her best to combat her brothers' antics, but given that there's one of her and five of them, this is a bit of an uphill battle. Webby doesn't have a full name that we know of, nor does she have a doll. We don't know much about her. And she may not be all-powerful - but then again, neither are her brothers.

Infodump concluded. Hope this helps, it was very fun to write.

[shutupineedtothink]

Trial order and why Lilia, not Agatha, is last (not counting Rio)

Kay, so I got another off-the-wall theory for you, this time around the order of the trials and why Lilia, not Agatha, is actually going to be last (if we don't count Rio). It goes back to maiden mother crone and some of the trauma/generational trauma stuff I already talked about in a previous post. As with The Road, continue at your own peril.

Right so I couldn't get this idea of maiden mother crone, intergenerational trauma, dealing with the long history of violence toward witches thing out of my head that the show is doing. And I think we've all been assuming that Lilia's trial will be next, saving Agatha and probably Rio for last, because those are standard main character of a TV show rules.

But the more I think about it, the more weight I feel like Lilia's journey carries for this overall theme of trauma toward witches and the history of witches, etc. She seems to have the most intense connection to the pain of witches past, like old-world witch stuff, and she's the one who's brought up multiple times that witches aren't really as they've been portrayed, there's all these negative stereotypes, etc etc. And she's sick of it. She's lived through it for the longest of all of them (again, leaving whatever Rio is out of it).

Idk, something that big, addressing the long history of violence toward witches and witch stereotypes, that feels like you have to deal with it last. That's a culmination of all the witch references, pop culture and otherwise, the show has been making, of which there are MANY.

So I thought ok, for funzies, let's assume Lilia's last, which puts our trial order as follows: Jen -> Alice -> Agatha -> Lilia (and I guess true last would be Rio but I'll get there in a second).

Assuming that order, something else pinged for me: maiden mother crone. Another massive theme in the show, portraying these generations of witches and women in general, and again, for reasons I can't explain, it really feels like it has weight to me. Like they're doing something with it.

So leaving Jen aside for a second, don't worry I'll come back to her, that makes Alice our maiden. Her role, particularly in the context of her trial, is the role of daughter. She's also the youngest of the witches, as far as I can tell. She's even coded as kind of the rebellious one, the young angry one who still hasn't quite accepted her heritage, until after her trial, she does.

Agatha is the mother. We are really going for the mother/child relationship with her and Teen, and of course dealing with her son's death and whatever part she played in it. I would assume her trial will be about that, but we could also be saving that for the end. The mother is also the connector generation between maiden and crone, so maybe there's something there about Agatha fully stepping into the leader role of the coven, and accepting these women around her, idk.

Lilia, the eldest, is our crone. She carries the true history and memory of generations of witches with her, she has lived the longest through the most trials. She is the most experienced in the craft and takes it the most seriously. The journey is hers to end.

Except -- we have two other players left. Jen, who kicks off the trials, and Rio, who I'm assuming doesn't really have a trial but will be there at the end... because, you know. 💀

So why would Jen be first? What comes before the maiden?

And then she said it herself.

"I never fully identified as a witch. I am an 11th-generation root worker and midwife."

This one line almost puts her in a similar category to Rio, at least thematically. She's a witch but also more, neither and both. And she's a midwife, someone who helps facilitate birth. Someone who, at her best, supports and sustains life. Someone who allows the first phase of life, the maiden, to come into being.

And guess who that leaves us with at the end, the opposite bookend to Jen's life-giving power -- the mistress of death herself, Rio. The one to which all life must eventually return.

The trials aren't just about elements, or moon phases, or even different witch specialties, they're taking us through the stages of a witch herself. The stages of ALL women really (whether you are an actual mother with children or not, the mother phase is mid-life). Linking us all together, generation after generation.

So in this theory, the trials go like this:

Jen -> Alice -> Agatha -> Lilia -> Rio

Birth -> Maiden -> Mother -> Crone -> Death

Even the moon phases line up. Full moon is birth, a full-term pregnancy and then birth. Waxing moon, growth, renewal, hope, promise -- the maiden. Half moon, mid-life, no longer maiden, not yet crone, the in-between -- the mother. Waning moon, the last quarter of life -- crone. New moon, darkness, returning to the void -- death. They're playing fast and loose with the moon phase order, so I am too.

I can probably fudge the elements here too, but it's a little harder mostly because I don't know what Agatha's element is. I heard someone say spirit, but idk.

Anyway, what do you think? Am I on to something here? Batshit crazy? Would love to hear your thoughts in comments. :)

[handmade-witch]

Another round of Incorrect Quotes Generator x Slytherin Boys:

Part 1 ☆ Part 3 ☆ Part 4 ☆ Part 5 ☆ Part 6

Mattheo: Sorry I'm late, I was doing stuff.

Draco: YOU PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS!

☆☆☆

Draco: Hey, quick question. How petty am I allowed to be?

☆☆☆

Mattheo: I’m not stupid, you know.

[Y/n]: Well, you’re doing a really good impression of it!

☆☆☆

Mattheo: She's the girl of my dreams!

Theodore: You say every girl is the girl of your dreams.

Mattheo: I have a lot of dreams!

☆☆☆

[Y/N]: *banging a pen on the table out of frustration*

Mattheo: Stop that. How would YOU feel if I banged you on the table?

[Y/N]: I—

[Y/N]: I don’t know the correct answer to that question.

☆☆☆

Draco: I have an idea.

[Y/n]: A good idea?

Draco: Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

☆☆☆

*Draco is laying on the floor with their eyes closed*

Mattheo: Hey, are they sleeping or dead?

Theodore: Hopefully dead, I hated them.

Mattheo: Yeah, me too.

Draco, sitting up: First of all, fuck you guys.

☆☆☆

[Y/N]: That sounds like a terrible plan.

Theodore: Oh, we've had worse.

☆☆☆

[Y/N], texting Mattheo: Text me when you’re home safely.

Mattheo: I’m home dangerously.

[Y/N]: Stop it.

Mattheo: I’m home lethally.

☆☆☆

Draco: Hey, what have you two been up to?

Mattheo: We were helping [Y/N] write their vows, but they kicked us out because Lorenzo was making inappropriate suggestions.

Lorenzo: How is “Theodore, I love your sweet ass” inappropriate?

☆☆☆

[Y/N], talking about Mattheo: Is this a friend of yours, Draco?

Draco: Kind of? Not really. They're in my life and there's nothing I can do about it.

☆☆☆

Theodore: What is wrong with you?

Mattheo: Loaded question. Elaborate.

☆☆☆

Draco: Guess what I'm about to get!

Blaise: On my nerves.

☆☆☆

Blaise: All of your existences are confusing.

The Squad: How so?

Blaise: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to any of you deeply upsets me.

☆☆☆

Draco: How did you convince everyone to betray me? What did you offer them?

Blaise: I just asked if they wanted to embarass you and they all said yes.

☆☆☆

Theodore: Hey, are you okay?

[Y/N]: Yeah.

Theodore: You don't look okay...

[Y/N]: Then stop looking.

☆☆☆

[Y/N]: Ah ready for another fantastic day of being better than Draco.

☆☆☆

[Y/N]: Kill me nowwwww.

Mattheo: Sorry, no can do. I need your help with my homework.

☆☆☆

Mattheo: Lorenzo! For the love of god, please turn down that music. I have a hangover.

Lorenzo: *blasting the mii theme at full volume* That sounds like a you problem, not a mii problem.

☆☆☆

Draco: You read my diary?

Blaise: At first I did not know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.

☆☆☆

Blaise: [Y/N] won’t come out of their room!

Mattheo: Just tell them I said something.

Blaise: Like what?

Mattheo: Anything factually incorrect.

Blaise, shrugging: If you say so.

[Y/N], arriving moments later: Did you just say the sun is a PLANET?

☆☆☆

[Y/N]: If you got arrested what would be the charges?

Lorenzo: Theft.

Blaise: Disturbing the peace.

Theodore: Aggravated assault.

Draco: Arson.

Mattheo: All of the above. In that order, probably

☆☆☆

Police: You’re under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle.

Blaise, with Theodore and Mattheo behind them: Wait, what do you mean THREE?!

Police: Yes…three.

Blaise: Oh, my God— What the fuck!?

Police: Wha-

Blaise: Lorenzo FUCKING FELL OFF!

☆☆☆

Mattheo: I said ‘No’ to drugs, but they wouldn’t listen.

☆☆☆

[Y/N]: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I’ll wait.

Lorenzo: You and me!

[Y/N]: *tearing up* Ok.

☆☆☆

Theodore: *yawns*

[Y/N]: Yeah, being that pretty must be tiring.

Theodore: Then you must be exhuasted.

Blaise: Will you two shut up? Some of us are lonely.

[luveline]

hey! would you mind writing sirius black x reader (ole flame or something) when they meet for the first time since azkaban at a meeting for the order? thank you and happy holidays!

thank u for requesting, hope this is OK! ♡

—you and sirius both get to go home eventually, 2.2k. fem

You were still kids when Sirius… went away. You thought he hurt James and Lily, and it didn't matter that you loved him because he was evil and cruel and he hurt the people he loved most in the world, and then you were outposted thousands of miles eastward, your life a shadow. 

Remus sent you letters. You always answered, even when it hurt, but his last was too much to believe. You told yourself that someone forged his handwriting through a curse or some new gimmick, and then a second arrived with a smaller envelope hidden inside. 

No name written on it. No Dear anything to begin. 

Things are different to what you've been told. Please come home, it said. This penmanship was shaken like a hand out of practice, but something felt familiar in the curves and dots. 

If Remus’ letter (and the second smaller one too) were in fact telling the truth, it means you did something awful, and so, for a while, you don't go. 

Please, the next letter says, again enclosed within a larger explanation from Remus, I'm sorry. I just want to see you again. 

Getting home isn't as simple as he might think. You have to picture the destination very clearly to disapparate, and you have no sustained recollection anymore of the places you used to go. You remember silly things, slices of memories; the four of them laughing in a big green field, the sweet smell of hair oil to your left; the beige walls of a rented flat where you'd lay in bed for hours, sometimes days at a time, before things got too terrible to sleep; a string-lit garden that last summer, hands of poker on a glass table. These places aren't real anymore. You can't go back to them. 

Upon your request, Molly forwards you an address and a secret code. 

Trains, buses, trains again. A long walk through a cold street. Some secret this or that. You arrive in the night and a frowning face ushers you in, past a painting sealed away and up the creaking stairs. You spend hours sitting on the end of a bed coated in dust waiting for the sun to rise, your back stiff with nerves. You could slip out before anyone else knows you're here, it's not as if Moody would give you away. But why did you come, if you were going to run straight back to your outpost? 

You don't want Sirius’ betrayal to be true, of course. It took your breath away imagining what it would mean if he hadn't done what you thought. If it's all lies (as it seems to be), if he's innocent as he and Remus claim, it means you turned your back on him and left him to suffer, and he's still asking you to come home. 

A few people stir for breakfast. Molly, who's voice you remember, and some younger sounding ones that may be her children, or perhaps the newer Order recruits. Then comes Remus’ voice. He sounds different. Less Welsh, more tired. Homely anyways as he passes your door with someone beside him. 

“...any day now,” he's saying, “try not to worry.” 

“I do worry. I've worried about it every day for years.” 

You freeze up. 

The stairs creak, Remus’ voice moving further away. “She doesn't need worrying.” 

Sirius must stay at the top of the stairs for a moment. He sounds close. “I wouldn't know what she needs.” 

“Come have some breakfast.” 

“I'll write her again.” 

“After breakfast.” 

“What if she doesn't come?” 

“After breakfast,” Remus insists. “She can ignore you once we've had toast.” 

“I forgot how funny you are,” Sirius mutters. 

Hearing his voice fills you with doubt. He sounds nothing like he used to, no easy confidence to be heard, just fatigue. 

You look down at your hands. Hearing his voice has a new emotion sprouting, too. When you first learned what had happened to your friends, you felt anger like a knife everywhere you went. How could he do that to them? How could he do it to you, be that person, ruin everything you'd loved and made together? But later, when anger faded and grief ached, you'd missed the Sirius you loved. Shamefully, in longing pangs, you'd toss and turn to dreams where things were different. 

Now there's a chance he might still be that person, and you're hiding from him in his own house. 

“There's someone here,” Molly says as you leave your room, her voice nearly too quiet to hear from the kitchen. “Moody's told me this morning.” 

“What?” Arthur asks. 

“Who?” a younger voice says. 

A small intermission of quiet. “Well, I don't know,” Molly says eventually, though she must have guessed it was you from the letter you sent. “But I'll need another loaf of bread. You'd better go, boys.” 

“Mum,” one whines. 

“Come on now.” 

The stairs whimper as you descend, the bannister sticky with old gloss under your hand. Paisley wallpaper and drapes catch your eye as you pass the overflowing shoe rack. There must be more people here than you'd thought. The coat stand is similarly overloaded. 

You can see into the kitchen as soon as you take the last step down. Molly stands wringing a dish cloth between her hands, two teenage boys at the kitchen table. Remus stands near her right with a cup of tea, and when he sees you, he genuinely smiles. 

“Oh, good,” he says, the scar that bisects his lip pulling as he takes a sip of tea. 

The teenagers turn to see you. “Bread, boys! Arthur, you can go with them," Molly says.

Arthur doesn't complain. You falter in the hallway, quiet as the trio of Weasley's leave the kitchen in their slippers to take a quiet exit from the front door. They smile politely as they go, but the boys whisper as the door shuts behind them. You wonder if they have an inkling of who you are, and then you wonder what you might say now they're gone. 

Molly remains, inquisitive to know that you need privacy but also the security of her company. She was always smart like that.

“Come in, then,” Remus says. 

“I–” You clear your throat. “I'm not sure I should.” 

A startle of silverware against china. 

Remus gives you one of his looks. It has tears threatening to well. Why didn't I fight to see him more? you think. Suddenly years have passed and he's changed, but his reassuring glances remain. It's like he's saying everything is fine, why wouldn't everything be fine? Chin up, dove.

Sirius appears in the doorway. Dark circles beneath grey eyes, his cheeks gaunt with hunger rather than the sleek sharpness he once possessed. He's still pretty, if wounded. It's as though you've found an old photo of him that's been smudged with age. He's stepped out of one of your moulding albums to haunt you. 

“Angel,” he breathes, his hand clasped low on the doorway, “you're here.” 

You look past him to Molly and Remus. There isn't a reality nor dimension where they'd let him stay here if they didn't believe his innocence. Remus explained it all in the letter and still you worried if he might have gotten it wrong, and simply believed what he wanted to believe, but it's not possible. Remus loved James so much, he would've killed Sirius himself if he really thought Sirius was the secret keeper who betrayed them. 

So. It's a relief to be home. 

You stare at him. “You look tired,” you say quietly. 

“I'm fine. I am.” 

He seems alright, considering. You'd even say he was handsome with his hair pushed away from his face, a dark shadow of stubble around his mouth, but he looks exhausted.  

You're expecting him to say what you'd say. How could you ever think I'd do it? 

Sirius was prone to similar bouts of pride, or righteousness, justice, whatever you want to call it, but he doesn't bother with that now. He looks at you as though you're the only person on earth, gaze narrowed but eyes wide, pain between his brows as he asks, “What's wrong?” 

Your hand finches up to your cheek to wipe the sudden tear away. “I thought I'd never see you again.” Your Sirius. 

“Don't be upset,” he pleads. 

“How can I not be? I left you all alone for so long.” 

He laughs roughly. “Sweetheart, what were you supposed to do?” 

“Not just give up.” 

“You thought it was me. That's the only thing you could've done. Either of you,” he says, gesturing backward with his hand. “It was hard… to know who to trust, at the end. It's not your fault.” 

You really were only kids together, not half as in love as James and Lily, but that doesn't mean you weren't mad for each other. He looked after you. You would've had a life, you think. 

“You were just gone,” you say, looking down at the floor between you, eyes tracing lines of wood grain. “Everyone. There was nobody left. And I just let you go.” 

“Do you want to come here?” he asks. You lift your head. His hand is barely in front of him, fingers open, palm up. 

It's like taking a stranger's hand for the first few seconds. You keep them low between you both, unfamiliar to each other. But, you find, as his fingers wrap around yours in that selfish way they used to do, squeezing rather than intertwining to make all of them fit, he remembers you.

You step a little closer, your arm to his chest, and look up at him through your lashes. It would melt him like a candle near a furnace, this look. He'd be smug or seething about something and you'd sidle in to stand between his shoes, unsure of what to say but determined to be there for him. It's the same now.  

“What's wrong?” he asks under his breath. 

“I left you all alone,” you repeat. 

“It wasn't your choice, okay?” He smooths his free hand from your elbow to your upper arm. 

Molly says something to Remus. He chuckles and says something in return. Happier to admit it if it's only for Sirius’ ears, you say, “I'm really sorry, Sirius. I miss you every day.” 

“I miss you too,” he says. 

You push your arms around his waist and hide your face in his chest, feeling for the lines of who he used to be, the dip of his spine in his back or the soft cotton of one of his old t-shirts. You regret hugging him at all, until he puts his arm behind your head, a shaky breath released against your crown. 

I'm scared, he'd said. But I don't want you to be scared, okay? Barely twenty, he smelled of the sticky red powder on the end of matches after a night doing things he couldn't tell you about. You could tell him you loved him, and he you, but you weren't to discuss Order business. We'll be okay. 

But Lily–

Everyone's going to be fine. I promise. 

“You promised,” you say to yourself. Too quiet for him to hear, but he does. 

“I promised you so many things I'm not sure what one you mean,” he says with a disappointed laugh. 

You pull away, taking his face into two hands. “How do you feel?” you ask, ignoring the tremble working up from your wrists. 

“What?” His eyes are dark. 

“How are you? Did they– I mean, are you okay? Are you sick?” 

“Remus has patched me up. And Cordelia, the medwitch, you know her?” 

“I don't know anyone. I've been away.” 

He nods sadly. “Yeah. Well, you look the same.” 

“I don't.” 

“You do! You look the same,” —he almost sounds happy, his lips curling into a smile— “sweetheart. Sweetheart–” He closes his eyes. 

You push his hair behind his ears. “You don't look the same,” you confess, “you have wrinkles, right… here.” You touch the corners of his eyes. 

“You're still beautiful.” 

“Mm. You can't even see me.” 

“I don't need to see you. I knew you would be.” 

You rise up to kiss his cheek gently. “It's like you're back, like– like, I always felt like you were gone. And now you're home again. You are home, aren't you?” 

He covers your hand with one of his. “You're here, so–” 

You laugh together nervously. “Yeah, I'm here.” 

“I have stuff to do to make it right.” 

“Then we'll do it.” 

“Okay,” he says. He swallows a breath, and wraps you in a surprisingly tight hug. “Did you read my letters?” 

I don't want anything from you. Just to see you're okay. 

“I read them. I'm okay. Don't I look okay?” 

“You look perfect. Just like the last time I saw you,” he says. It startles you how suddenly he sounds like he did when you were young, his flirting drawl, voice velveteen. 

“Not like that,” you laugh. 

He pulls you as close as you can be, rough now, his arms solid around you. “I missed that,” he says, rubbing your back. “I forgot how you sound when you laugh.” 

You've led very different lives. “I didn't forget yours.” 

“You wouldn't. You love having things to hold against me.” 

You stroke his hair. “Maybe a little.” 

[fandomtrumpshate]

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[whateverloomis]

Omg ok so uh.... Can I request some knifeplay with poly!ghostface and an innocent/naïve reader? 🥺

AGGHHH I got carried away here, anon 😩 I hope I delivered 🫡 Thank you for your request bb <33

Warnings: SMUT, Knife play, blood play (blood pact-ish), fingering, making out, oblivious reader, AFAB reader (no use of pronouns,) hint of Stully, unedited.

Word count: 1.3k

Ever since you joined the friend group Billy and Stu took a liking to you. It started off as casual conversations and getting to know each other but after nearly a year of mixed signals and you being too oblivious, all three of you ended up in a situationship.

Billy Loomis was an expert at manipulating people and he got a kick of it whenever he got the chance to target you with his sinister intentions. Stu just liked to sit back and watch as you slowly fell for Billy and himself, of course.

The day you guys made -whatever kind of relationship you had- official was over a blood pact. Little did you know the boys just wanted to claim you as theirs, in their own fucked up way.

It was a Friday after movie night with Sid, Tatum and Randy. Billy and Stu waited rather impatiently for their girlfriends and Randy to leave in order to finally have you to themselves. Once they did, the energy quickly got tense.

"It's been a while..." Billy said softly, sitting next to you on the couch as he placed his hand on your thigh. You looked at him in genuine confusion. "Been a while since what? We just watched a movie." You answered and Billy smirked, looking away momentarily before looking back at you.

"A while since we've done this." He answered and moved closer to you, placing a few soft kisses on your lips.

Pulling back slightly, you bit your lip and looked at him in the eyes before leaning in again, but before you could continue kissing, Stu walked in the living room.

"Not fair! Don't start the party without me!" He said playfully and you giggled at his comment and Billy's annoyed glare.

You noticed that Stu placed a large candle on the table in front of the couch and sat down on the floor in front of it before lighting the flame.

"C'mon, we've got a surprise for you." Billy said and grabbed your hand, leading you towards the small coffee table and sitting on the floor, pulling you along the way until you sat between his legs.

You looked at the boys in confusion, "Surprise? It's not my birthday yet (or is it?)"

"You say the dumbest shit sometimes." Stu replied in amused mock and you flipped him off.

"Enough." Billy said from behind you and grabbed your hand, lowering it along with his. "We're making our relationship official" He continued and your eyes widened.

"But... You guys have girlfriends..." You said, as if fucking their boyfriends behind their backs wasn't bad enough.

"It's okay YN, they don't mind." Stu said as casual as ever. "Right Billy?, he continued, and Billy nodded in response.

You looked at both of them, searching for anything that indicated they weren't being honest, but everything seemed to be normal. They wouldn't lie to you, and you trusted them so you went along with it.

"Okay! So what's the surprise?" You asked them excitedly and Billy placed a knife on the table. You looked at it in question and curiosity got the best of you. You felt the urge to touch the blade and let it take over you.

Running your finger over the blade you admired how shiny it was. Sharp. It looked freshly polished and neat. Both boys looked at you, amusement written all over their faces.

"We're gonna do... A little blood pact to make our relationship official... Special." Billy said. You felt his hot breath on your neck and observed as he picked up the knife.

Stu stood up and kneeled in front of you, stretching your legs and placing them over his lap, rubbing your thighs as if he were soothing the sensitive skin.

You felt fear, anxiety rushed through your body but you knew this is how you can show your trust and dedication to them, right?

"Is this... Really how it works?" You asked, seeking for reassurance and confirmation.

"Of course baby... This is how you show your trust. How you give yourself to us." Billy said and Stu smirked in amusement.

And of course... you believed them.

Billy placed the knife on one of your thighs and ran the blade across your skin softly. You shivered at the cool sensation and it made your nipples pebble up, showing through your shirt.

Stu noticed and trailed his gaze down to your tits, squeezing your legs in response. "Looks like someone's excited." He said, and you blushed at his words, unable to admit the obvious.

"As it should be." Billy said and pressed the knife against your skin, making you whine at the sensation. The sting was eliciting a strange feeling of pleasure that you couldn't understand at the moment, but you loved every second of it.

Billy continued his actions, marking your skin with a small B and S. You looked at your thigh and blood was dripping down, pooling on the floor beneath you.

"Go ahead." Billy told Stu and he released your legs carefully, positioning himself between them and licking some of the red stripes from your thigh. Savoring you.

You moaned softly at the sight and sensation. Stu bit hit lip as a reaction to your taste, a bit of blood dripping from his lip.

Billy collected the blood with his finger from Stus lip and brought it to his own, sucking on it and tasting you as well.

"So sweet..." He whispered in your ear and collected more blood from your thigh, this time bringing it to your lips in order for you to taste yourself as well.

It had a metallic taste, but to your surprise you could also taste the faintest hint of sweetness. "Mm... You're right." You responded and immediately felt Billy's cock twitch against your back. Your words excited him. Your blood. You.

Stu bit his lip and chuckled before leaning in and kissing you. You could taste your blood on his tongue as he teased you with it. Moaning into his mouth you crawled towards him and straddled his lap. Billy observed both of you making out intensely and huffed out a "Fuck..." before standing up and walking towards the couch.

Stu stood up with your legs wrapped around his waist and walked towards the couch as well, sitting you between him and Billy.

The boys scooted close to you and started to kiss the sides of your neck, breathing and moaning against you. They stole kisses from each other sometimes too which made you moan in response. The boys weren't that affectionate with each other but when you got the pleasure of seeing it happen it drove you crazy.

Billy sneaked his hand between your thighs and up your skirt, rubbing your clit through your underwear. You rested your head against his shoulder and moaned at the sensation.

Stu also reached under your skirt but instead he spread some of the blood along your skin, tasting you one more time before cutting your underwear open with the knife.

You gasped in response and bit your lip. "You owe me new underwear now, Macher. You said and he laughed at your sassy tone. "I prefer you without them on." You moaned at his response and spread your legs for him.

Billy chuckled at his boyfriend's flirty comment and continued to rub your clit at a steady pace. Stu started to run two fingers over your entrance before slipping them all the way in. "Fuck, you feel so good around my fingers" he moaned out.

"I bet that hole feels better around my dick." Billy countered, always the competitive kind in bed.

All you could do was moan and shake at the feeling of both boys playing with your cunt and giving you all of their attention. They rubbed and finger fucked you expertly. The sensation of their movements coursed through your body and you swore you were gonna cum any second.

"Fuck... Fuck!" You moaned the way that you usually do when you were gonna reach your high, but suddenly the boys stopped. You whined as your legs shook at the loss of the intense pleasure they were creating.

"You're not getting your release yet." Billy said and Stu picked you up over his shoulder. "We're taking this upstairs." He said. The night was just about to begin.

[avelera]

Man, I just put back on OFMD 1.05 (the fancy party episode), and I think one really worthwhile itemization of Stede and Ed interactions would be around how many times Stede appears horrified by Ed's actions, but actually, he might really be horrified for Ed.

And I only bring this up because one common, I think, misinterpretation of Stede was that he's horrified or put off by violence. Understandable, given the face he pulls when, for example, Ed tells Fang to skin the French captain with a snail fork.

But now that we've Season 2, albeit eps. 1-3, including that gorgeous moment where Stede immediately clocked that Ed's trying to burn down the world or die trying, thus signaling that he knows Ed better than anyone, especially Izzy, ever expected... I think we can firmly put the, "Stede doesn't really get Ed," interpretation firmly to rest. It's totally fair that it existed! His facial expressions of horror were often ambiguous and could be read either way.

But I think we can very firmly say: All those times Stede seems horrified at Ed? He's horrified for Ed.

Even in the moment where he sort of gulps when Ed wants the French captain skinned was sort of re-written in my mind as I watched it, in light of Stede getting Ed so well in S2. Suddenly it's not Stede taken aback by extreme violence, no.

Stede is realizing just how deeply hurtful the French captain's words were to Ed. He's not taken aback by the violence of Ed's orders, he's horrified to realize that the French captain's words hurt Ed so badly that this is a proportional response.

Stede doesn't give a fuck about the French captain, by the way. He doesn't lift a finger to prevent it, not because he's afraid, I'd argue, but because he legitimately does not care. The dude is more than a little bit of a sociopath himself, alright, he's adjusting to pirate life but he has also fully embraced pirate life.

And by the way, you don't have to take my word for it that Stede's reaction of horror is for Ed not at Ed, y'know why?

'Cuz of what Stede says in the very next scene, "Edward, are you alright? I could tell that captain got a bit under your skin."

(Haha, get it? Because you skinned that man alive. But I digress.)

No but seriously, Stede does not care about skinning that man alive, whether or not we believe Fang really did it. His priority #1 here, as it will be in Season 2, writ large, is to first make sure Ed is ok and then to help arm him against pain like that in the future.

And all I'm saying is, I bet if we went through each and every other instance of Stede "reacting badly" to Ed's "violence" in light of S2 and Stede getting Ed and only really caring about Ed unless reminded to do otherwise, that all of those reactions are actually Stede reacting with horror to learning what kind of pain Ed has been laboring under, or what kind of pain he's in that he would react with violence to verbal attacks like that.

Because that is something Stede can understand very well.

[bteezxyewriter12]

Help Her Out

Pairing- Namjoon x Named Reader

Word count- 3.7k

Includes- Cock warming while masturbating?, blow job, masturbation help, pussy eating, cum eating, missionary, cock riding, dirty talk, squirting, multiple orgasms, fluff

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxminnie @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa

@borntowalkaway @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @seokwoosmole @meowmeowminnie @realisticnotes @effielumiere @svnbangtansworld @pinkies-things @insomniacatiny @marvelfamily3000 @amyz78 @blueie-things

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Masterlists 📝BTS Masterlist 📝Namjoon Masterlist

This is the Namjoon one shot fic that one the poll

Namjoon POV

"Well Joonie?", she asks as I stare at her in disbelief

"I don't....we don't...do things like this", I stutter

"Yeah well, we don't stand there and watch each other masturbate but here we are"

Yeah here we are

I came to her room to ask her if she wanted any food because I was ordering

I had headphones on and I just walked into her room

And to her naked on her bed, legs wide open, a vibrator against her clit

I dropped my phone as well as my mouth, my earbuds falling off and to the floor with my phone

I froze, not able to take my eyes off her smoking hot body

She squealed, threw the vibrator off the bed, snapped her legs closed and threw a blanket on top of her as if that erased me catching her

She yelled at me and I just stood there

She kept calling my name and I knew I should say something but I couldn't find the words

Then she said if I was just going to stand there I could at least help her out

I found words then and asked how I can possibly help

Her answer?

Cock warm me in her pussy while she plays with her clit and cums on me

Needless to say I'm even more shocked

"Are you gonna help me or not?"

"I uh...why do you want my help?"

It doesn't make sense

We've been best friends forever and she never asked me to do anything like this before

She never even kissed me

And when we moved in together to save on rent we made sure the apartment has rooms on opposite sides of the hall so we don't hear each other

This is coming out of left field

"Because you have a big dick and I haven't had dick in a long time and I need one in me"

Mind blown

"How do you know I have a big dick?", I ask, ignoring the part where she said she needs a dick in her

I have to ignore it or I'll get super horny

She rolls her eyes, "Hannah"

"Your best friend?", I shriek, "She told you?"

I slept with her friend once

She got mad at me for it, saying her friends are not fuck buddies for me

She said now Hannah would come here just to try to fuck me again instead of hanging out with her

I didn't think it was a big deal until she said then she would fuck Jin if our friends were free game

That was a hard no

And I got what she was saying

I knew if she fucked Jin, he would keep coming back just for her

From then on friends were off limits

I just didn't know Hannah blabbed about my dick

"That you have a massive thick cock? Yeah she told me"

"It's not massive", I scowl, "I can fit in a pussy without hurting the girl"

"Didn't say you couldn't", she replied, "She told me it was big and you knew how to use it"

I feel my face getting so red and hot

This is not a conversation I ever thought I'd have with her

"Look either you help me or get out so I can finish up here"

She's still gonna masturbate?

Fuck, that changes things

I don't think I can hear her moaning or well, knowing she's moaning without getting hard and taking care of it myself

I just don't know if I should cross this line with her

I mean I want to, so fucking much but I'm not sure I just want to be a dick to her

I always thought if I ever had sex with her we'd be...a couple

But then again this isn't really sex

It's just helping her get off

"Joonie don't take this the wrong way ok", she says, "Get out"

I don't want to

"No", I answer, not believing I'm gonna do this, "I'll help"

She tilts her head to the side, surprised, "Really?"

I guess she didn't think I'd say yes

I didn't know I'd say yes

But I am

"Yeah"

"Oh...ok", she nods, "Uh get undressed I guess?"

I nod, feeling so self conscious

Nevertheless I pull my shirt up and toss it to the floor

"Oh wow", she says, her eyes wide as she looks at me

"What?", I ask, my cheek heating up

"I just uh..didn't know you had those muscles on uh...your chest", she gapes, "Those uh...abs"

I mean she knows I work out so...

I don't answer, pulling my pj pants down, staying in my boxers

"Come here", she says

I slowly walk to the side of her bed, so fucking nervous

Keeping the blanket on her, she moves to sit at the edge of the bed, her fingers going under the waistband of my boxers

I swallow hard as she pulls them down, my cock half hard

It was fully hard when I walked in on her but the embarrassing conversation made it go down some

Her hand moves around my length, softly stroking me

"I'll help you", she says softly and I just nod

She leans down, her mouth around my head, her tongue licking as she sucks on me

"Oh my god", I gasp, pleasure rushing up my spine

She lets go, her tongue at my base, licking up my cock slowly, over and over, wetting my shaft

Her mouth goes back around my dick, sucking, taking more and more of me with each suck

I reach out and bury my hand in her hair to keep my balance because the bliss is so fucking good

Her hand starts moving, jerking the rest of my dick off as she blows me

My cock hardens fully in her mouth and hand, becoming so stiff it aches

After a few more sucks, she pulls away, her tongue against my slit, licking up the leaking cum

"Tastes good Joonie", she smirks, my mouth dropping for the second time today

Her hand keeps moving along my dick as she smirks at me

"Ready to help me?"

I nod, so ready

She lets go of me and lays back in her bed

I pull the blanket off her, getting in the bed, in between her open legs

This is so fucking weird and hot and awkward all at the same time

I gaze down at her tiny wet pussy and choke on air

So small

Her lips are puffy, her clit is swollen and throbbing, her hole leaking juice and clenching around nothing

All from playing with herself before

"Go in Joonie"

I nod, "Uh yeah, ok"

Holding my dick, I align to her hole and push inside

Her pussy immediately grabs on to me, sucking me in as I spread her wide open

"Oh my god", she cries, her body arching

Pleasure fills my senses as I watch her pussy lips open, her hole stretching, drenching me as I go in inch by inch

Her pussy repeatedly clenches down tightly around me, making it feel so euphoric just getting into her

"So fucking big", she whimpers, her pussy taking my cock perfectly, "So big. So good. Fuck"

I have never been in a pussy this tight before nor this wet

I bury deep inside her, bottoming out and stilling

"Yes fuck" she moans, her body shivering, "Is... Is that all of you?"

I nod, my skin trembling from her constant clenching, "Yeah"

She moves her hips, pushing down and wiggling, I guess making sure I'm all in

"Oh god yes", she gasps, her hands wringing the sheets under her

"What? Is everything ok?"

She nods, "Yyy..yeah. Your...ah...your head is against my spot. Feels good"

"Oh...ok", I say like an idiot

"Mmm", she murmurs, her hand moves to her clit, rubbing slowly

Her pussy tightens around me instantly and I can't help but groan at the spike in pleasure

Her hand moves faster, her pussy becoming wetter and throbbing faster

I move my hands to her thighs, holding on as I watch her

She is so fucking pretty, my eyes trailing down her body

She gives little gasps and moans, her head pushing back into the pillow

Her boobs wiggle as her arm moves, her back arching slight

Her tiny hole is straining around my thick length, clenching over and over

I know this is to help her but fuck it feels good for me too

Her body shivers, her legs pressing against the sides of my body, her moans louder

"I'm gonna cum on your cock", she whimpers, "I'm...I'm gonna...on your cock"

"Yeah", I answer, wanting that so much, "Go ahead"

"Oh fuck, fuck, fuck", she cries, her pussy coming, throbbing hard around me, sending surprising pleasure into my body, "Namjoon, oh god"

"Fuck", I whimper, the bliss from her orgasm surprisingly good

Like honestly, the best I ever felt

"Again", she whimpers when she finishes, "Please, again"

"Yeah ok", I agree

Her hips move, wiggling and grinding on my dick, my head rubbing her spot, her cries getting louder

Her hand stills, then moves, then stops, then moves again, almost like she forgets to play with herself because she's so focused on moving her hips

It's fine, I can help her

I push her hand away, replacing it with mine, using my thumb to rub her throbbing clit quickly

Her eyes open, a question in them

"It's ok baby. I got it", I assure her

She nods, her eyes closing, pleasure all over her face

Her hands grip the sheets hard as we move together, her breathing increasing

Her skin has a light sheen of sweat on it, her hair damp and she looks so fucking good

Her clit pulses against my finger and all I keep thinking about is sucking on it

"Oh fuck", she cries, her hips wiggling faster, her hand gripping my wrist, nails digging into my skin

I've never wanted a girl to cum so badly

"C'mon baby", I urge her softly, "Cum for me"

"Namjoon, oh", she shivers, panting harder

"Yeah baby, c'mon. My cock feels so good inside you right?"

She bites her lip, nodding, "Mmmm hmmm"

"So cum on it. I need you to. You want to so bad"

"I do!", she yells, "I do...oh fuck! Namjoon!"

Her body shudders as she orgasms, squirt pouring from her pussy, all over my lap, my cock and her bed

But I still don't stop rubbing her clit as bliss courses through me as I watch the beautiful sight of her orgasming

"Yeah baby fuck, cum for me just like that. Yeah good girl", I praise her, "Such a good girl, squirting just for my cock. Good girl"

When she stops, I pull my cock out, gaping at the mess of squirt and creamy cum she left on me

It looks so pretty and so fucking good

Laying down between her legs, I lay my tongue on her and lick slowly, getting all her cum on it

"Joonie", she gasps, her head up and looking at me

I swallow her cum, the deliciously sweet taste shocking me

"Gonna eat your pussy", I tell her, leaving no room for debate

I need more after getting that hit of her taste

"Yea..oh", she moans as I bury my face in her cunt, my tongue swirling and licking every part of her pussy I can touch

My face is so wet, drenched, her taste taking over

My tongue passed over her hole on its way up, spreading her lips open and rolling over her clit

"Joonie, yes!", she cries

I flick her clit over and over, massaging it with the tip of my tongue, feeling the pulses

God I fucking love it

Sliding my tongue down, I slip inside her hole, her pussy squeezing it tightly

"Mmm yeah baby", I groan, when I pull my tongue out, "Fuck, squeeze my tongue baby"

I slip back inside, her cunt listening and squeezing hard

I move my tongue fast, in and out, tongue fucking her, making sure I get as much as my tongue in as I can, her cunt creaming my face and mouth so much, I have to keep swallowing

Her hips move, grinding her pussy on my face and I'm so here for it

"Mm keep going baby", I egg her on, "Fuck my face baby girl"

"Joonie! So good Joonie", she moans, her hand burying in my hair, tangling in the strands, "Good tongue. Fuck good tongue"

I smirk, glad I'm giving it to her good

Switching it up, I latch my mouth to her clit, sucking rapidly on it

Her body arches, pulling my hair hard as she humps my face, screaming my name

Her clit spasms in my mouth, sending pleasure catapulting down to my cock, keeping me stiff as a rock

"Namjoon! Namjoon!", she screams, as I suck relentlessly on her, "I'm coming! I'm coming!"

Sucking hard once, she explodes, cream gushing in my face

I drag my tongue down, into her spasming hole, letting her cum around it

"Mmmm", I groan, squeezing her thighs hard, her delicious taste flooding my mouth

Her hips keep moving, grinding on my mouth to get her through her orgasm

When she finishes, I go to town, cleaning her pussy up

"So fucking good", I moan, running my tongue everywhere, "Pussy tastes so fucking good. My fucking favorite"

I make sure I get every single drop, then I move on top of her

I push back inside her, her soft moan reaching my ears as she takes my cock fully

"Wanna cum again?", I ask, reveling in the throbs of her pussy

She nods, her hands moving to the sides of my body, slowly moving up and down, "Fuck me Joonie"

My eyes snap to hers, my eyebrow raised in surprise

"What?"

"Want you to fuck me. Please"

"Are...are you sure?"

She nods, "Please. I..I finally have you, please"

Finally has me?

What is she talking about?

Did she want me before?

She couldn't have, she never said anything or did anything to hint that she wanted me

"Joonie"

Do I want to fuck her?

Absolutely

I'm already inside her, I might as well

I'm definitely not getting out

"Yeah Jo", I answer, "Ok"

She nods, her arms moving slowly around my neck, her legs wrapping around my waist

My heart is beating so fast as she lifts her head, her soft lips pressing into mine

My entire body wakes up from this one kiss as her tongue slips in my mouth

It presses against mine and I let out an embarrassingly loud moan, kissing her back deeply

I fall into her kiss, moving one of my arms around her waist, holding her against me

Leaning on my arm by her head, I start moving, pulling out then thrusting back in slowly

I moan in her mouth at the feel of her opening around me, the feel of her pussy sucking me in with every stroke

I kiss her desperately, my hips moving faster each thrust inside her, until I get a good pace going

Pleasure crawls along my spine, entering every fucking nerve, one of her hands gripping my short hair, the other digging in my back, her touch driving me crazy

Every inch of my being is on fire, I'm drowning in her and I don't want to be saved

She's taking over me, everything falling away until it's just her

The sound of her moans and her pussy squelching around my cock with each hard pound into her

The feeling of her utterly wet cunt soaking me and getting wetter each time I slide inside her

The feeling of her fingers in her my hair, of her fingers trailing along the skin of my back, making me shiver

The feel of her soft smooth lips, her tongue against mine

The taste of her sweet kiss

And it's in this moment with her that I realize I'm completely in love with her

I knew I liked her more than a friend but I didn't know I felt this deeply for her

I just want to be with her, make her happy, see her smile at me, feel her kisses, feel her arms around me

I want her

"Joonie, more baby", she whimpers against my lips

I move a bit harder into her, my head slamming into her spot with each stroke, her pussy fluttering rapidly around me

She moans, breaking the kiss, panting hard, her body arching into mine, her fingers digging into my back

Her hips start moving, meeting my quick hard thrusts

"Yes Namjoon", she cries, "Namjoon"

Her body shakes while she cums, her pussy working and squeezing my cock in a vice grip, pleasure washing over me as I watch her

I bury my cock inside her, letting her cum on my whole length, her hips moving and grinding on my cock, her cries of pleasure getting louder and louder

My god, she's so fucking beautiful

She shivers when she finishes, her beautiful eyes opening, looking at me with such desire

She pushes me back, sitting up with me

Climbing in my lap, her lips crash into mine, kissing me passionately as she takes my cock back inside her

Her arms move around my neck, clinging on while mine move around her waist, pulling her as close to me as she can get

Her hips move, rocking on my cock as we kiss

Everything feels so fucking good, I never want this to end

She gently pushes me back as I kiss her until I'm leaning against the headboard of the bed

Then she breaks the kiss, her lips moving to my neck as she starts bouncing on my cock

"Fuck", I whimper, feeling her cunt impale on my dick over and over, my lap soaked with her cream

She sits up and I'm hit with her gorgeous body as she leans back, one of her hands on my leg behind her

She moves hypnotically, her hips rolling down, her tiny hole swallowing my cock, straining the closer to my base she gets

"Fuck Joonie, you're cock is the best"

"Yeah?", I ask shyly

She nods, "So fucking good, I can't believe it. It's so big, so fucking hard. So easy to ride"

Yes well, she's doing a fantastic job of riding me, her pussy clenching as she moves, sending sparks of bliss up my spine

"You're riding me so good", I murmur, my eyes watching how much her cunt creams my length, "Your pussy is the best. So tight baby, so fucking creamy"

"Is that good?", she pants

"So good", I reply, eyes not moving from her swollen pussy lips petaling open for my cock, "Love seeing your cream on my cock"

"Mmm I can cream your cock all the time if you want"

Now my eyes snap up to her, her eyes already on me

"You can?"

She nods, "Anytime you want me to hop on your dick, I will"

My mouth drops in shock, not sure what to say

"This doesn't have to be a one time thing Joonie"

"It doesn't?", I ask stupidly

I'm just so surprised, I'm not thinking about what I'm saying

She shakes her head, "If you're mine, I'll ride you all the time. I'll suck you cock, fuck you so good. If that's what you want"

I nod my head so hard, like a bobble head doll, "Yes, I want that. I want you. I wanna be yours"

She smiles nodding, still bouncing on my dick, "Just so we're clear that means you're my boyfriend. There's no more sleeping with other girls anymore"

I nod again, "And it means you're my girlfriend right?"

"Right", she confirms, her pussy pulsing so good

"No more sleeping with other guys?"

She shakes her head, "No. Only you"

My god yes

"Ok baby", I tell her, "I'm yours"

"I'm yours Joonie"

I sit up, my lips attaching to hers, kissing her hard, my hands on her ass, squeezing softly

I help her bounce as she kisses me, her pussy feeling so exquisite around me

"Baby", I murmur between kisses, "Where do you want me to cum?"

I'm going to soon, the pleasure, it's just too incredible

I lasted so many of her orgasms, I'm not lasting another

"Finish inside my pussy", she tells me

"Mmmm", I moan in her mouth, so excited to fill her with my cum

Her cunt slams down on my shaft, sending her into an orgasm that has me coming immediately

I hold her down on me as her pussy spasms on my cock, sucking all my cum out

"Joanne, fuck", I moan, ecstacy coursing through my body

"Joonie", she whimpers, "Yes baby. Fuck, give me all your cock cum. Fill my pussy baby"

"Take it baby", I whine, "Fill your pretty pussy right up"

"Mmm yes Joonie", she moans, rocking on my length, her pussy milking me so well

As the pleasure ends, she stops moving, her arms wrapping around my neck, her lips against mine, kissing me slow and deeply

I wrap my arm around her, laying us down, falling into her kiss

I'm in heaven right now

Her soft lips against mine, her soft skin against mine, her arms around my neck, her fingers in my hair

It feels so right to be here with her, to have her in my arms

When the kiss ends, her eyes meet mine and I drown in them

"Namjoon", she says softly, her fingers running through my hair

"Yeah?", I whisper, hanging on her every word

"Joonie. I love you"

It takes a few seconds for my brain to process what she said and when I do I'm ecstatic

"I love you too Jo", I tell her

She smiles softly, "You do?"

I nod, "Yeah. I...I always felt more for you than just friendship but it wasn't until today, until you kissed me while we...that I realized I love you"

She giggles, "Well. I knew I love you. And you walking in today...I can't believe I actually had the balls to ask you to let me cock warm you"

"Yeah well you shocked me", I laugh

"I think I was just so horny, I wasn't thinking. I...I was imagining you and there you were and....my mouth just talked"

"I'm glad you just talked baby", I chuckle

"Me too", she agrees, "Now kiss me and don't stop"

"I can do that baby"

With that I lean down and kiss my girl

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

ok so fun amanda the adventurer stuff i wanted to talk about:

i think amanda's been in the tapes for 20 years exactly. we were putting it at 22 because the first tape has a 2001 copyright on the show, BUT the tape of rebecca signing papers was dated to 2002. i will bet you that 2001 is when the live-action show started, this all went down in 2002, and 2003 is when they put her in the tapes, making the 2023 setting a round 20 years

in case y'all don't know-- i haven't seen anyone make this mistake yet but just to be sure-- it seems that riley is a they/them. they're referred to as "they" in the second game steam description AND by amanda herself– when the monster tries to attack, she uses "they" to refer to riley. she knows who riley is at this point as we know from the nightlight tape, so it's not the generic "they." i think we got an enby protag! also makes you wonder if riley's supposed to be the Knight in the story, but there's another option i discuss later

i think we're forgetting what the meatman does. cause like. yeah it's probably the surgeon who put her under or at the very least heavily associated with him. but also we got the butcher ending in the first game for a reason. anyone who goes into amanda's world becomes meat. i'll bet you that they go in and become animals, which the butcher then feeds to the demon(s).

i might wanna pen this as a theory vid, but it might be too short? but i think there's a secret third party in this conspiracy. we've got hameln, summoning demons, and the anti-hameln librarian club, trying to free rebecca. BUT we ALSO know that someone told joanne to destroy the tapes, which was apparently against what kate wanted to do. THEN someone burnt down kate's house in order to destroy the tapes, something hameln would not want to do. in the orange tape, kate also refers to a mysterious "they" who got her the original tapes, who might be the person secretly filming rebecca. if kate's "they" and joanne's "they" are the same person, it seems like they're playing both hameln AND the kensdale team. i wonder if this "they" might've been the player in the demos– where amanda was more evil and their sole goal was to burn the tapes

[lukolabrainrot]

Calm theory anon here.. I've been busy with life but I checked in and I want to share some thoughts I have been having. Pictures are just a moment in time. I can look at a picture and think wow this couple really looks happy and you can look at a picture and say 0h wow there is sadness in their eyes I wonder what happened. People interpret differently and that's the beauty of everybody having their own mind. So you've seen a lot of photos, right with Nicola and Luke this summer. And we've seen twice now where people have misinterpreted situations. One pate gate people assumed that Luke didn't mind the photos, and that was due to the pictures we got. Later on someone put the photos together and a different story was told. Another circumstance the Nicola and JD picture we didn't get the photos in order and what happened assumed that she was just hugging him. As More pictures dropped we seen that they were actually taking a photo together. That's two times now that we've misinterpreted a photo. And that's fine because we all say this is theory. No one knows what actively going on. Not any of these big creators on Tumblr not any of these big creators on TikTok not any of these big creators on Instagram not any of these creators on Twitter. Not one of these people actively know Luke or Nic. All they're doing is taking a set of photos and likes and assuming situations. But as we've already established, there is something called misinterpretation. so anything you see or read can be a product of misinterpretation. Guys feelings and love aren't easy things to understand. Think about the last time you were in love. I was so confused and the feelings were scary. It was the best and hardest thing I ever dealt with. But imagine someone from the outside that doesn't know you trying to understand your feelings for each other. That's just impossible. Luke and Nic are people. They are dealing with feelings most of us have never dealt with seeing as I believe they are soul mates. I truly feel they will find their way.

💯

Ok I am going to say a few things, and I know my comments are going to blow up probably, but I need to get this off my chest:

Me, and NONE of the other creators on SM, actually know L and N, or any of the people in their lives. We are all coming to our own interpretation based on PUBLICLY AVAILABLE INFORMATION. None of us have some special inside scoop into L or N's life, and no one should take our word as gospel! I share my opinions on what I am seeing, but I can't definitively say what is going on BTS, or predict the future. I think because we have a lot more questions than answers, we just want to know what is going on BTS. But we are never going to know that full story, and we have to be okay with that. We need to just let them cook, and see what happens.

I have mentioned this multiple times, but my background is in psychology and studying human behavior. I have also mentioned how ~70%-90% of human communication is non verbal. And L/N's non verbal cues speak VOLUMES and is the reason a lot of us are still here. I've talked about this a LOT on here, so feel free to scroll through my page and see my thoughts.

But it was all PR, right?? It wasn't. IMPOSSIBLE. The end.

I try to look at the FULL picture of ALL the publicly available information I have before coming to my interpretation. Yes, I have had a few little freak out moments, but I try not to fixate on a single moment in time, or a single post or interaction on SM. I try to look at everything in context of the bigger picture. And if you look at the larger picture, a lot of the information is pointing to L/N being a lot closer to getting together and going public at some point in the near future. This is my opinion though of course, and it is alright if some of you don't share my opinion.

I think a major reason I decided to start this blog is because I was having a lot of thoughts that I wanted to share around L/N and try and put a psychological lens on what might be going on BTS and what we saw during the PR tour. Another reason I started the blog though is because I have NEVER seen a connection like L/N, or seen people respond so positively to two people just interacting with each other. I am a VERY jaded person, and do not think super highly of the human species. I also have never believed in soulmates, but L/N are the closest example I have ever seen in my life. Yes I don't know them. And yes, I KNOW it sounds sappy. Trust me. I NEVER thought I would end up here today shipping two celebrities I have never met. But watching the way these two publicly interact almost felt like I had run into a unicorn or fairy in the wild. And by THAT I mean this. It is SO rare to see two people publicly show their affection and love for each other the way L/N do. Humans aren't great at it. Period. So I think we fell in love with the way they love each other (at least I know I did) because it is so rare to see, and makes us a little more hopeful. And that, and ALL the other publicly available information I have seen, is why I am firmly sat. I want to see how this movie ends, because I feel like when the PR tour ended, the movie stopped partway.

Lastly, if you do not ship Lukola, MY BLOG IS NOT FOR YOU. Also, if you find yourself spiraling over every new piece of information, this shipping space is probably not the healthiest thing for you. I feel like ultimately, shipping should be fun and not taken too seriously since we're just fans and we don't actually know these people. If you find that you are getting really stressed and not having a lot of fun anymore, it is definitely valid to take a step back. And it is fine if you have a different opinion than me or someone in the comments, BUT PLEASE BE RESPECTFUL. I am going to start blocking more people who are trolling in the comments. Ya ain't slick, people can see you 👀

[w2soneshots]

Brother’s best mate -W2S

words: 0.8k+

warnings: smut, swearing, alcohol consumption.

summary: you and harry meet through your brother ethan. After a night spent with the side girls you crawl into bed with your favourite guernsey boy.

notes: I haven’t written anything like this in ages!🤭 hope you enjoy🔥🫶🏼

Liked by wroetoshaw and 301,583 others

y/username: spending time with my favourite people💞 (even if it's on a golf course😒😂)

Tagged: @faithloisak @behzingagram @wroetoshaw

-comments-

faithloisak: aw I love you

-> y/username: ❤️🫶

y/nfanpage21: she's so 🌼🧺☕️🧘‍♀️🥐 coded

user19470245: omg they went to golf together😭

user83271430: the pic of ethan and faith is adorable

Last year I moved to London to be closer to Ethan when Faith fell pregnant, to help her and to spend more time with the both of them. I also bought an apartment so I'm just a 20 minute drive from them. I finally met the sidemen at the gender reveal. I'd never actually been introduced to them before, which was weird because they are basically the reason Ethan has a career and they helped him so much a few years ago when he was in a really dark place. Me and Harry didn't immediately hit it off, don't get me wrong I thought he was attractive but he's also very awkward and was wary that I'm his best mates sister.

After almost five months of being friends with the group, going to little parties or just hanging out with them me and Harry kissed. I knew it was bound to happen since we had both quickly developed a large crush on each other but after it had happened we'd decided not to tell anyone (especially Ethan) before we knew we were actually good together. It took just one month before we were officially dating and decided it was the time to tell everyone. Of course we told Ethan first, he was shocked but (to our surprise) happy that his best mate and sister were dating. Everyone else was so excited.

We've now been together for 6 months and only told the fans recently. Today I'm going to dinner with: Talia, Faith and Freya for Talia's birthday. Harry had a more sidemen shoot today so wouldn't get home until six. I had a shower, dried and styled my hair, applied some makeup then chose an outfit. I was on my way out just as Harry arrived back. "Wow," He glanced down at my outfit before returning his attention to my face "you look beautiful." I smiled "thank you Haz, I'll be home by ten." "You better be, I can't wait to rip those clothes off."

I arrived outside of the restaurant, thanked the uber driver then spotted Talia getting out of another car. I quickly walked towards her "happy birthday!" We excitedly hugged each other. "Thank you! Freya's already inside." She beamed. "Ok. I think Faith's running a little bit late, let's just go inside." I replied. We headed into the fancy restaurant and were taken to our table where Freya already sat. When she spotted us she immediately leapt from her seat. She said happy birthday to Talia then we all sat down. Faith arrived a few minutes later and we ordered our drinks.

After eating our starters, mains and desserts me Freya and Faith split the bill (not before trying to convince Talia to let us treat her for her birthday). Thankfully I had only had two drinks so I was just a little tipsy. We left then ordered a taxi. Freya was dropped off first then Talia and I was third. I said goodbye to Faith then hopped out.

y/username

Liked by miniminter and 480,231 others

y/username: my girl @taliamar 's birthday dinner with @freyanightingale and @faithloisak 🤍💫

-comments-

taliamar: I had the best night ily😘

-> y/username: ily

freyanightingale: 💓💓

y/nfanpage21: omg you look stunning!!

user91037494: I love that the side girls are actually friends irl it's so cute

When I got up to mine and Harry's apartment I unlocked the door, opened it, kicked my shoes off and dropped my bag. "Haz?!" I shouted through the apartment. I walked through into the bedroom, Harry sat waiting patiently for me "Hey." My mouth curved into a smile "hi." I jumped onto the bed next to him. "Have fun?" He asked. "Mhm" I hummed.

I turned to him and pecked his lips. The kiss deepened, he grabbed the back of my thighs and pulled me onto his lap. I reached my hands down to the belt wrapped around my waist, I pulled it off and threw it to the floor. I moved Harry's hands from the back of my thighs to my ass. He groaned into the kiss then rushed to pull the zipper down on my dress, then he pulled it off and over my head, leaving me in just my matching black lace bra and underwear set. Harry broke the kiss to look down at me "you're so fucking beautiful." He rasped. I pulled his shirt over his head, followed by his pyjama pants. While Harry unclipped my bra, allowing the straps to fall from my shoulders.

Within just a few minutes we were both completely naked. Harry flipped me onto my back. I whimpered as I rubbed my thighs together, desperate for any sort of friction. "Harry, please." I cried out. "What do you want baby? Use your words." "I need you to fuck me."

[vidavalor]

The Hoff

I think that we've seen that very distinctive and unusual, capital F in Fell in the the note inside Aziraphale's copy of Modern Magic before...

What could explain that? 😊

Ok, so, first things first... to be clear: there really was a Professor Hoffman who published a book called Modern Magic. His real name was Angelo Lewis and, until its publication of Modern Magic in 1875, there wasn't really a major book in English that acted as a guidebook in for teaching aspiring magicians what they would need to know to be able to perform. It is seen as the first magic textbook, basically. So, the book really exists but this is where we have to talk about the apparent "autograph" that we were shown in 1941.

If you've ever had an author inscribe their book to you or received an autographed book as a gift, you probably have noticed that the author almost always signs the book on the title page or, if not that, on some other page on which there is type in the very early part of the book. They usually do not autograph books on the 1-2 blank pages of paper that are included at the start of most hardcover books... which is the spot where we can see that the note in Aziraphale's copy of Modern Magic is written. There are a couple of reasons why authors do not autograph those pages.

The first is that autographing one of the printed pages of the book helps to ensure that the author's signature stays with the book. If they sign a blank piece of paper at the start of the book, the signature can be more easily ripped out of the book and potentially used by someone for something illegal-- especially true of the pre-computer & cell phone eras but something which holds over into today. There is also that one of the reasons why the blank pages in the front of the book are included in the first place is to help keep the book clean in order to preserve it for longer, with the idea being that the blank pages can be removed if the book gets dirty over time from dust and dirt falling inside the cover.

The last reason, though, is the reason most relevant to what we're talking about here and that's that the blank pages are also meant to be a space for personal notes. Not just for something the reader might wish to jot down but for a message to the reader from the person who gifted them the book.

If you gift a book to someone, the tradition is that you write them a little note on the inside of the book. In a hardcover book, this is meant to be written somewhere on the blank pages. We are specifically shown Aziraphale opening his copy of Modern Magic to the very first, otherwise-blank page and reading the note that is the only other thing on the page, in the upper right hand corner.

Ok, you might say, but the note is written from Professor Hoffman and mentions Aziraphale being a 'wonderful student', so even though the unique and significant capital F's are a match... how could Crowley have written the note?

The note is actually signed The Hoff and there is already some wordplay in the 1941, Part 2 minisode in which Aziraphale uses that word while referencing Professor Hoffman on the surface but in such a way as to really be referring to Crowley.

Later on in 1941, when the two are drinking wine at the end of the minisode, their whole conversation is word-nerdy flirtation and Aziraphale responds to Crowley's inquiry as to how he got the photo back from Furfur with this line: "Who needs miracles when you've had private lessons from The Great Prof. Hoff. man himself?"

Here's where that Crowley-mentioned "tone of voice" from the start of 2.01 comes into play a bit...

In this post, we looked at how Aziraphale's emphasis in the "Prof. Hoff.man" sentence suggested he was using Professor Hoffman's name as wordplay to really be referring to Crowley. Prof, short for professor, is rooted in profess, which is to state something, while hoff is a Welsh term of endearment that means my dear and my beloved. (Some Welsh pet names in this show starring Michael Sheen? Couldn't be! 😂)

Used in that way? Prof. Hoff.man, spoken the way Aziraphale did in the wine scene in 1941, is actually referring to Crowley and calling him his dear (and deer) man and his beloved. It's "my dear" and "my love" but in Welsh. This, then, is Aziraphale referring to Crowley as his hoff... which is how the note in the Modern Magic book is signed.

Further emphasizing this are the other words being used in the wordplay in the same sentence that talks about private lessons from The Great Prof. Hoff.man.

The first is Aziraphale adding the adjective of great ahead of Prof. Hoff.man. In a couple of other posts, this word has come up already but to sum it up, great in their speak is dry use of the adjective used to describe The Great/Ineffable/Divine/Whatever Plan to describe their relationship or one another, instead. It basically means what we all know great to mean but with added humor within their speak being that it's blasphemous to use it that way in their supernatural world and that it comes from the root words related to to rub or to grind together. It also contains the word eat-- self-explanatory for the food-obsessed Crowley and Aziraphale.

In the Odegra scene in S1, in which basically all of Crowley's work presentation is in his and Aziraphale's vocabulary, he refers to the Biblical Great Beast on the surface which, in their vocabulary, they've actually jokingly made a phrase that refers to Aziraphale between them. When Maggie tells Crowley that he and Aziraphale don't say how they really feel, Maggie doesn't realize it but Crowley responds to her in his and Aziraphale's hidden vocabulary, because he's understandably a little put off. His response concludes with the deceptively simple summary of his and Aziraphale's relationship as a whole: "It's great."

In the Prof Hoff scene, Aziraphale refers to having had private lessons from "The Great Prof. Hoff.man" himself. If the wordplay in the scene has The Great Prof Hoff.man here being a reference to Crowley then so, too, are the private lessons. This is not to say that Aziraphale might have never taken magic lessons with Angelo Lewis aka Professor Hoffman. It's just to say that he is happily using Professor Hoffman's name here as wordplay to refer to Crowley in this moment. It's using Aziraphale's human magic as euphemistic for their romance, which also what The Bullet Catch and many other scenes have done. While private lessons manages to sound quite innuendo-y just on the surface alone, there's also some other layers that make it especially top shelf.

Lessons, in this case, are a mixed French-English phonetic joke-- they're les sins, or the sins. Crowley and Aziraphale don't see sex as sinful but referring to it that way with tongue firmly in cheek is their type of blasphemous humor, yeah? Even funnier is the fact that the French word for sin is peche, which also can refer to both a peach (so, a fruit, which also happens to be pretty uniformly euphemistic for an ass) and, even more amusingly, for the act of fishing.

Additionally, lesson comes from legere, which is the root of many words related to act of reading. Originally, the word lesson referred only to a reading aloud of The Bible. The word private in Aziraphale's sentence does just refer to a sense of privacy in the way that we know it but there are also the words it contains.

Besides the food-related ate, there is vate. The Latin word vates meant a prophet or a seer. By sometime prior to the 1600s, though, the word vate had splintered off from vates and had evolved to mean something that Crowley already canonically is-- a poet.

"Private lessons with The Great Prof. Hoff.man himself" on a wordplay level is really Aziraphale referring to romance and lovemaking with his dearly beloved poet.

Ok, so, we've established that Crowley can easily be The Hoff who wrote the note. Now, let's go back to the note written inside Aziraphale's copy of Modern Magic and look at the romance and humor of it being written the way it is if we're saying that it's written by Crowley and not by the Angelo Lewis version of Professor Hoffman.

Let's start with "a wonderful student." Here's the thing... you wouldn't need to be instructing Aziraphale on anything to refer to him that way. A student is a person who seeks to and works to gain knowledge and Aziraphale is constantly doing that. He is a curious, life-long learner, as we all should try to be, right? From knowing Aziraphale as the story shows us, all of us could say that Aziraphale is a wonderful student, could we not?

There's a sweet sense of humor in using the adjective wonderful in there as well. A person who is wonderful is full of wonder, which is to say that they are miraculous. They inspire pleasure, admiration, and a sense of delight. Synonyms for wonderful include other words associated with Mr. Fell and his magic-- amazing and marvelous.

So, let's say that Crowley bought Aziraphale his much-beloved copy of Professor Hoffman's Modern Magic and so is part of the reason why Aziraphale has a human magic act in the first place. He wanted to write a note to Aziraphale in the book but obviously could not write something that isn't a bit oblique because they're a secret. There is a very Crowley-esque humor in hiding that he is the author of the note by making what he wrote at the start of the book sound like a note written by the book's author.

Crowley signs the note "The Hoff" and there are actually additional meanings to that besides the Welsh term of endearment one we looked at above-- all of which are extremely Crowley.

Hof and Hoff are Old Norse words that evolved into Dutch and German to refer to, over time, a wide variety of buildings. Originally the word meant a hall and, at that time, that was less in the sense of a passageway between rooms inside a building and more any roof-covered building. It is still present a bit in what we call a couple of types of buildings (a town hall; a music hall, etc..).

Because the word comes from the Proto-Indo-European root words meaning to cover or to conceal, a hof or a hoff began to mean basically any kind of building covered by a roof-- including both a court (as in, a royal court), a temple, and a farmstead. It also began to mean anyone working any jobs associated with life beneath any of these roof-covered structures. From this also formed the term heathen hof, which referred to a Germanic pagan temple.

A hof or a hoff, then, is a roof-covered place of protection and concealment from the elements or someone occupied under one of those roof-covered places.

A hof or a hoff? Is a canopy...

But we're not at all done... Because of hoff relating to places like royal courts and farmsteads, it also evolved to mean the person who manages the domestic affairs of a household and the person whom a monarch or the owner of the building has given authority to represent them, to rule in their name and to guard their assets and reputation. The word that we use today to mean this derived away from hoff and came about in a messy way that involves so many language overlaps that people are honestly still kind of trying to fully puzzle it out and aren't entirely sure of the results. For quite a few centuries now, though, what was once referred to as a hoff-- in terms of people and not structures-- has been more commonly referred to as a steward.

A steward can be someone who keeps watch over a household and guards its inhabitants and one who can manage the affairs of an estate for the person who is, technically, that estate's owner.

A steward is also the officer on a ship who is in charge of meals and provisions. This also later applied to trains as well, once they were invented.

In fine dining, a wine steward, for example, is another name for a sommelier-- one who provides knowledge of wine and serves it.

It also refers to someone who oversees the social arrangements of a household.

The occupation of steward is also the root of surname Stewart and its alternate, French-originating spelling of Stuart. Stuart is also a first name for which Stu is a nickname and that nickname is one of the words contained in The Steward/Hoff's love note to Aziraphale: the stu within student. Also within student? The word den. Meanings include a dwelling for animals (a fox den), a recreational or study room in a house, and, especially applicable to Crowley and Aziraphale: a place in which people meet to engage in illicit activity in secret in order to evade detection.

So, within the letter Crowley signs The Hoff is the word student, which contains words referring to the role of a hoff/steward (stu) and the den he serves and protects in that role. It's clever. 😊

For some funny, food-related bonuses: the word steward also obviously contains stew and, depending on where you are in the world, the word hof today can evidently refer to either Carlsberg beer or a Korean-style bar or pub. In Danish, it also refers to a garden and, apparently, the history of hof referring to a royal court also led to an evolution of hof referring to admirers as a result of crossing over with the use of court as a verb-- as in, to court a person.

Fish stew. Anyway!

But you might be saying: but why not inscribe the book to Aziraphale? What's with the 'To Mr. Fell' and this weird capital F?

For that, we have to bring in two of the most romantic things you can think of: a little grammar and Hastur.

Just bear with me. 😂 It's worth it, I promise...

Back in S1, we had a bunch of scenes that illustrate that the demons are seen as a collective who all belong to Satan and are not to have any sense of autonomy that overrides that. It's best summed up by Hastur harassing Crowley through his tv by reminding him that, collectively, they are known as The Fallen and only their shared goals of servitude to their master, Satan, should be what matters:

When Crowley is in public and at risk of being overheard, he will speak that way about Hell, such as in the case of "Mozart's one of ours" or "was that one of yours or one of ours?" with regards to The Reign of Terror in 1.01. In this post, we already looked at how, on a hidden language level, Crowley is crafting those public sentences to Aziraphale to really work as being about the two of them on another level while sounding like they're about Hell on the surface level because, as we know, he does not actually wish to be part of The Fallen.

This is where the little bit of irregular verb grammar comes into play. It relates to tenses around the verb to fall. As most of us know, both the future tense and the present tenses of the verb to fall is fall. If it's a fall that has yet to happen, you use fall. As in: "She should be careful as she could fall out of that tree." If it's a fall that is currently happening, you also use fall, as you would say: "She is falling." It's when you start to talk about a fall that already happened that things get a little more complicated... and if you don't think Crowley and Aziraphale would find that relevant, may I direct you to them flirting by way of pretending to be confused over the irregular past tenses of the verb to smite in S2...

Fallen is the past participle tense of to fall. The simplest way to explain that for those who are grammar-averse and find this confusing (and it is confusing-- English is a nightmare lol) is that you use fallen as 'has fallen' or 'have fallen' to describe a fall that took place at an unspecified time in the past, as well as a fall that happened already but may still also be an ongoing thing.

For example: your friend might refuse your request that she climb a tree with you by saying something like: "No, thanks. I have fallen out of too many trees before." This indicates falls that happened to your friend in the past that are now over and done with but are just not being referred to in such a way as to reference a specific point in time. If your friend wanted to refer to a specific fall she had at a specific time, she would use fell, not fallen, and would say something like: "No, thanks. I fell out of a tree last Thursday and I'm still feeling it."

Meanwhile, though, you could be thinking about investing in a company, say, and, in researching the company, read a sentence like: "The stock price average has fallen x percent over the last x months." This indicates something that has taken place in the past-- the descent of the stock price average has already happened. However, fallen is being used because that falling stock price average might still also be ongoing, as it could keep falling. That is an example of using fallen to refer to a fall that happened in the past but is not necessarily seen as completely done and continues on.

How is this relevant, you ask?

Let's say that it's long ago and you're an angel who is in love with a demon who has for millennia been referred to by everyone in Heaven and Hell as one of The Fallen to a point that The Fallen is basically the closest thing he has to a surname. And let's say that you're creating a human identity for yourself and taking on a surname so you can live amongst them more directly. And let's say that you are well-aware of the fact that marrying this demon is not something at this time that seems like it would ever be possible for an endless list of reasons ranging from the fact that you're supernatural hereditary enemies to the fact that doing so would be illegal by human standards.

You don't like the term The Fallen because you feel it doesn't apply-- to your demon partner or to any of the demons, really. The past tense of to fall is fell. It's something that happened once, at a specific time in the past, as in: "He fell out of the tree." It's over and no longer relevant, unlike the way that Heaven and Hell use the phrase The Fallen to continuously demonize the demons. They refer to them that way to perpetuate the idea that they are forever "evil" and damned for it. Added into this is that to fall, as we know, is also a verb used to describe feeling romantic love, as the humans say that people fell in love. There's also that he calls you daily what you are-- an angel-- in a romantic way and you would like a way to refer to what he is in a loving way, instead of just the teasing, double-meaning way you sometimes use words like demon and fiend.

So, if you were this angel named, say, I don't know, Aziraphale lol... and you liked the human custom of a partner taking the surname of their spouse when they married and you were making up your own surname anyway for your human identity and you were very sure that you'd never be able to actually marry your demon partner so this was what you thought then was maybe the closest you'd ever get to being able to do that... the cleverest, most romantic surname you could actually choose for yourself that would be taking his name but in a positive, word-nerdy way that reflected the love of the two of you would be to name yourself Mr. Fell.

Aziraphale has been Mr. Fell for who knows how long because it is the proper verb tense for what happened to Crowley, it sounds enough like '-phale' that Heaven won't ever really put it together and he has an excuse there if they ever ask him why his alias sounds a little demonic and, most importantly, because he wanted to take that part of Crowley's "name." Why?

Because, like with most humans, Crowley didn't choose that surname and, as is the case for a lot of humans as well, the name has a negative history that he wishes it didn't. Crowley can choose to change his name and add to his name and he does-- Anthony Crowley and others are his own choice-- but he's stuck being tied to the "family" he came from-- The Fallen-- as there has never been a way to change that. To Aziraphale, taking on that name is the same as anyone marrying into a family with bad history and a terrible reputation because they love their good partner who is stuck in it. It's an act of commitment to that person.

Aziraphale tweaked it to Fell-- the correct use of the verb, a common human surname, and something that sounds enough like the end of his own first name that it acts as a bit of sleight of hand to keep most from noticing that his last name is just the frequently confused with fallen, other, past tense of to fall and that he took it as a way to take Crowley's name.

It also adds a whole other feeling to Aziraphale reading the note aloud to Crowley in the bookshop in 1941 and the part where he says "'To Mr. Fell'-- that's me!" with the little grin and wiggle.

Crowley inscribed the book 'To Mr. Fell' because that's their name. It's an equivalent of writing something like 'For my husband'...

Another clue to support this is the Crowley-and-Aziraphale-paralleling Mutt and his beloved spouse, as Mutt referred to them as. Beloved, as we said above, is one of the Welsh terms of endearment meanings of hoff. Mr. Fell is Aziraphale having taken Crowley's name like someone might of their spouse. Since its opening, the name of the bookshop has been A.Z. Fell & Co.. On one level, it is meant to look like A.Z. Fell is a variant of Aziraphale, likely to evade suspicion from Heaven. In reality? Aziraphale is just Mr. Fell from A to Z. Just Crowley's, from soup to nuts.

Adding some humor is also that a fellow, as we know, is a term for a man, or a person in the same position or group as someone else, or a person with whom someone is sharing the same activities, as well as member of a society of learning. To Mr. Fell, a wonderful student...

A fellow-- or the slang fella-- is also a boyfriend. Plus, the silly humor of fellow as fell- ow!. "But, my deer/dear fellow..."

So, Crowley wrote the inscription in the book as a note to Aziraphale that makes it look like it's an autograph from Professor Hoffman and the other hints to this lie in his distinctive capital F in Fell and the other word hidden in the signature.

If you look closely, you'll notice some things in the way that Crowley wrote The Hoff. The o in the word is actually made up of two letter o's linked together. Besides the whole hugs and kisses of x and o in writing and the rings aspect and the fact that he drew them in such a way to look heart-like, there's that this creates a new word hidden in hoff, which is hooff, which isn't a word but the word contained within it-- hoof-- sure is.

A hoof is the foot of any of three animals to which Crowley is frequently referred to as: a horse, an ox, or a deer. It's also slang for the human foot and, as to hoof it, for the act of walking, as well as sometimes slang for dancing.

The Crowley-and-Aziraphale penned title of Demon's Guide to Angelic Beings Who Walk the Earth, which is a phrase meaning to live life. In the opening credits of every episode of Good Omens, Crowley and Aziraphale are shown living life together throughout history-- walking the Earth together. The same 1941 minisode that gave us this note that we're looking at gives us the love letters they wrote each other and published under Hell's nose as entries in Demon's Guide, furthering the suggestion of Crowley having written the note in the book.

Now, look at the distinctively-written letter F in Fell and in where we've seen that before in the 2008 minisode:

Crowley's signature on the form for his assignment to take Adam to the nuns in 2008 is him drawing with his index finger the same pattern he uses when writing with a pen to make the capital F in Fell.

Why does Crowley write it this way?

Because while the end result is that anyone not looking closely sees a cursive capital F, the way that Crowley writes that capital F is by using the pattern of a cursive capital L-- for love. If you look at it closely, you'll actually see both a L and a F overlapping as one letter in the word Fell in the note.

While I'm sure Aziraphale has no doubt as to what he was reading in Crowley's note in Modern Magic, if the 2008 minisode is any indication, Crowley has actually been using this Love F when writing his own signature-- both on Earth and in Hell-- for quite some time. Likely because while he loathes being part of The Fallen, he feels the exact opposite kind of way about Aziraphale having taken his name to a point that he wants to actually put Fell somewhere in his own name.

The result appears to be that he uses The Love F as both a purposefully kind of unintelligible signature when he signs for things in Hell... but also in the more readable signature of his name when he signs things on Earth. Why do I say in the human name, too? There's a hint to that in 1941-- back in the Part 1 of it.

I think Crowley makes their mark as the middle initial in his signature on Earth because I'm noticing here that this romantic Love F thing could be the explanation regarding confusion over a certain third capital letter... the letter J.

I now think it possible that Crowley didn't actually write a J on the document the Nazis saw. He wrote the romantic F for Fell that he writes to also look like a capital L, which got it mistaken by Mr. 'Betamax/Peter Max' Glozier for a capital J.

When Glozier said the J aloud, Crowley did use two words relating to he and Aziraphale in their speak-- just and really-- to try to explain what the letter was to Aziraphale but I'm not sure that Aziraphale heard it that way. Crowley also made it sound like he didn't want to clarify what he had really written. To be fair, saying "that Nazi thug mistook The Love F for a J" wouldn't have really worked in the moment but he also seemed squirmish about admitting to Aziraphale that he doesn't just use The Love F when writing him love letters but as part of his signature.

In Lockdown, Aziraphale appears to have written a note addressed to Anthony J. Crowley. So, either Crowley hadn't told Aziraphale by then that the J was The Love F, or they now have an in-joke from 1941 about Crowley's middle initial being J when they both know that it's not, or Crowley actually then went and came up with a middle name that begins with J after 1941.

Finally, there's the note in a gifted book that we didn't see in S2 but definitely heard about...

I have no doubt that Aziraphale has a first edition of S.W. Erdnase's Expert at the Card Table. I do doubt the next bit, though, wherein Aziraphale is pretty obviously lying his ass off. This is a now well-practiced version of 'those three kids are absolutely Job and Sitis' new children':

I would bet pretty heavily that Aziraphale's first edition of Expert at the Card Table has a 'To Mr. Fell'-style note in the inside that, when read, makes it look like it was autographed by the author but which is really a note that Crowley wrote to Aziraphale when he gifted him the book.

Aziraphale realized in the above scene that if he lets Mutt look at the book, Mutt is going to think that however Crowley signed the note was Erdnase's real name so Aziraphale just complete bullshitted the provenance of the book to cover up the fact that the autograph is a Crowley love note in order to bribe Mutt into coming to the party. 😂

This is also really why he won't give Mutt the book or let him try to buy it. It's beloved to him because of its magic importance, yes, but really also because Crowley gave it to him. The super-rare Doctor Who annual issue that Mr. Arnold was lusting after is something Aziraphale can part with (after all, he's sleeping with The Doctor so it's not really necessary). That was just one of the many rare items that Aziraphale does have in his shop and wasn't a present.

The copy of Expert at the Card Table, though? Aziraphale will never part with that.

Both books that Aziraphale has that we've mentioned here are first editions and, given their subject matter, Aziraphale would have wanted to get both books immediately after they were published. That means that Crowley bought Aziraphale Hoffman's Modern Magic in 1875 and Erdnase's Expert at the Card Table in 1902. For timeline context: He gave Aziraphale the copy of Modern Magic with the romantic note we've spent this meta looking at 13 years after the 1862 Holy Water argument. The gift of Expert at the Card Table was 27 years after that-- 40 years after the 1862 scene.

This, along with things like Aziraphale buying a dozen cases of Chateauneuf-de-Pape in 1921 "for special occasions" and Aziraphale and Crowley being in communication when Crowley bought The Bentley in the early 1930s all contribute to the idea that they had seen one another plenty between 1862 and 1941.

Crowley's faux-griping about Aziraphale's magic act is also made even cuter-- and more transparent lol-- by the fact that he's been gifting Aziraphale books about human magic for ages.

On a sadder note, it also adds another layer of horror to the bookshop fire. I think we all figured Crowley had bought Aziraphale books before but having seen one now and the love note in it and knowing there are a ton more makes Crowley standing in the middle of the shop with them all burning around him even worse.

On a cheerier note, remember Aziraphale reading books on magic (and plenty of other interesting stuff) during Lockdown? Perhaps some of the books were in the pile because Aziraphale was also going through them to re-read Crowley's love notes?

Finally, what do you think... it's a little different but... is that a Love F on his tie?

[tiredwishes]

Can you explain carcar to me as a ship? I'd really love to get it, but I don't 😔

oh anon, where do i BEGIN

carcar is a little phenomenon that happens when two magnets, against all odds, repel and attract. they push and pull, they're permanently entangled, always hovering in each other's orbit.

(disclaimer: i'll probably miss out a bunch of moments, but here are the ones that really pulled me into the carcar agenda)

but it starts with the fighting on track, which is terrible but also happens to make for really good tension and plot.

case in point, spa 2023

in order for enemies to become lovers they must unfortunately be enemies first. their radios about each other throughout the 2023 season are so incredibly entertaining

and the 2024 season seemed pretty tame for the first couple of races...... then miami happens and we're all proved wrong

carlos' interview about it

THEN we move on to monaco, where everything finally comes together

there's the umbrella moment, which is so incredibly funny because everyone else around them is in the sun but oscar's got the umbrella and yeah sure, it's kind of sheltering lando too but oscar holds it with his right hand and so it's really for him and carlos :)

then the race starts and it's kind of a disaster with them as 'it was at the first corner that Oscar Piastri and Carlos Sainz went side-by-side and banged wheels.'

but neither of them were taken out of the race and went on to finish 2-3. and the post-race interviews are hilarious because there's charles', who's just won his home race for the first time, and there's oscar and carlos, with their tension and overall hostility

oscar finishes his interview and it looks like he wants to hand the mic over to carlos but carlos already has one and the lack of words makes it all the more entertaining when oscar seemingly goes 'nope? whoop okay.'

and so we're left with this interaction, thinking they're back to their 2023 ways........

when the press conference picture drops. a.k.a the ultimate carcar moment

like what. what happened to hi?? what happened to hello??? we're just tossed this moment between the two of them charles is off commemorating his win and jumping into the ocean BUT the real important stuff is happening back in this damn room.

there's also that moment in one of the conferences when oscar and charles are talking about AdoptionGate (charles offering to adopt oscar on twitter, something i wouldn't believe if not for the fact that i witness it unfold with my own two eyes) and carlos says something that has charles going 'do you want me to adopt you as well? don't be jealous carlos'

and i'm choosing to take that as carlos being jealous because charles has oscar and he doesn't like that because he wants oscar, and so hostile takeovers was written :D

but i digress,

because then we get to the soulmates part of this thesis

when carlos is asked about his recent string of conflicts with with carlos, he said, and i quote, "oscar and i, we seem to have a magnet recently between each other, for some reason that i don't understand but we get on well and everything is ok, but we seem to always find each other on track'

which is crazy because it's literally what we've been saying since their string of collisions in 2023

there's simply no reason for them to keep finding each other on track. 'for some reason i don't understand,' carlos says, and sometimes fate doesn't have a reason, or maybe fate is the reason.

Every magnet has a north pole and a south pole. Placing two unlike poles together causes them to attract. When you try to place two like poles together, they will repel each other.

and so, as mentioned in the beginning: carcar is a little phenomenon that happens when two magnets, against all odds, repel and attract. they push and pull, they're permanently entangled, always hovering in each other's orbit.

and that's what makes them so compelling to me <3

[megpricephotography]

Flynn's become such a good, helpful boy! **Long read beneath the cut & Trigger Warning for cancer, choking, health problems... but Flynn himself is totally, 100% fine (just being helpful!) & I am OK too, nothing graphic!**

I don't talk about health on here but I had an aggressive cancer when I was younger - a few years before I got Flynn. My old lad Barney helped me through diagnosis & treatment, he was a star, bless him. Thankfully I've now been in remission a long time but do have long term side-effects. I had to relearn how to drink/eat & speak & it all remains rather hard to this day. One problem I have - especially when tired (& I am often tired!) - is that I am much more prone to choking now. Usually, so long as I don't panic, I can sort myself out very quickly & it's more emotionally distressing, than a serious danger to my life but every now & again, I do have a genuinely alarming moment, when it's worse than normal & I don't know if I might need immediate outside help. Flynn has gradually picked up on the fact that I am prone to choking while eating. He's also learned to recognise certain foods, which are more likely to cause me problems. Plus, he's worked out that he can summon assistance to me, by barking his head off if I seem to be struggling.

When I am eating food I'm usually OK with, Flynn goes to his bed & ignores me, unless there's a problem. However, whenever I sit down with a type food which he knows I find trickier to manage, Flynn has taken to standing in front of me the entire time I am eating (& I am soooo slow!) & watching me very intensely. He's not begging & he does not move from his spot, or take his gaze off me, until I make it clear I'm done.

Being under Flynn's hard-eyed stare while I am trying to eat a meal, is mildly unnerving but undeniably helpful. The thing is, despite this not being a new problem anymore… I did spend my 1st two decades of my life eating normally, so when I am tired &/or hungry, it's easy to stop taking so much care about what I'm doing - & that's when I run into problems… However, when I've got a border collie standing right there, "supervising", with an expression on his face that is similar to a particularly stern nurse, making sure their patient takes the correct medication, I find it's much easier to remain alert, remember I still need to pay attention to what I'm doing & to slow down - even more than usual... Having Flynn there regularly prevents issues even starting.

Of course, I do sometimes still start to choke & Flynn's got amazingly good at recognising when I am having difficulties & he's so fast to respond. He immediately turns his back to me, in order to watch the doorway & begins doing a very distinctive, agitated, loud, repetitive bark. He will not stop, until the relative who we live with appears to check on me. (Interestingly, when we're home alone, Flynn still takes up his vigil while I eat but he generally won't bark, or is slower to start woofing, if I run into problems). Thankfully the vast majority of the time, I am fine within a few worrying seconds but obviously, it's reassuring having someone nearby, just in case. This behaviour is just something Flynn began doing by himself…. We've slowly begun offering rewards for it though, because it's obviously, it's a nifty trick!! A very Good Boy!!