#ok raining on other peoples parade over lol

[real-live-human]

genuinely starting to suspect that i may just have very different game opinions from everyone i know who plays xiv because how is stone vigil still the least painful way to farm a few hundred k xp at almost level 60. what the hell is heavensward dungeon design

[miss-multi45]

OK hear me out, I had an idea : what if reader presented herself as innocent, nice, you know like big doe eyes and all. So the ghouls assume she is a poor innocent lamb in need of protection. UNTIL one day, some guy just takes it too far with her and just as the ghouls are about to jump in to protect her, she becomes ABSOLUTELY FERAL and maims the guy.

How would the ghouls react, do you think ?

P.S : I love all your writings <3

gonna go with the idea that reader's a ghoulette in this. thank you for the ask, sweetheart.

a/n: cw/tw: gore and mentions of sexual stuff

A noise between a trill and a growl comes from the ghoul's throat when the guy starts making comments about how he'd like to see you in pretty white lace lingerie, but before creep could touch you, his blood had painted your body like the lingerie in his imagination...

swiss

fanboying.

screams "OH FUCK YES GIRL!"

and parades about the ministry with you in his arms bridal style meanwhile there is still blood on your body.

he doesn't care less about the blood, he's a fucking ghoul.

he just wants to brag about you to the entire ministry.

sodo

raises his eyebrows in slight shock, but then walks towards you with his hand raised for a high five.

tail is wagging, and he gives you head scritchies which makes you purr and nuzzle against him.

disposes of the body which means the ghouls and ghoulettes ate the dead body.

what? sometimes they eat people..

rain

slightly shocked by the sudden blood spray, but then he just shakes himself off like a cat and drags you away from the scene to craft an alibi.

sticks with leaving the guy outside to rot while he makes hot chocolate for the ghouls and they all watch Rite Here Rite Now in the ghoul den.

phantom

he got angry when the guy started making comments about your boobs, like really angry, asking if they were warm and squishy.

how dare he, phantom, the ghouls, and the ghoulettes were the only ones allowed to know that and see your plush boobies (lol) in all their glory.

so he wasn't at all upset when you clawed the incel's neck open with those dazzling claws of yours, watching as he slumped onto the floor with a sea of blood gushing out.

you kissed over his dead body.

mountain

anyone who doesn't respect the lovely ladies of the ministry and the entire universe is automatically on mountain's kill list.

happy when you killed the shithead and growled at his dead body, that's his girl.

cleaned you up while you were swinging your legs and gave him smoochies.

aether

was standing behind the fuckface ready to take him out when you beat him to it.

leaned over his body, examining the injuries.

"good punch." he said before walking away with your bloodied hand in his.

omega

watching from a distance, leaning forward on a bench with his hands clasped together.

he was growling under his breath, his eyes flashing with bloodlust whenever the man smirked suggestively at his pretty little ghoulette.

proud when you tore him to shreds yourself, like yes queen girliepop we love to see it.

aurora taught him that slang

alpha

we all know he's teasing, smug and possessive.

which means he's walking towards you, and when he reaches you he grips your hip with one hand and your waist with the other.

chuckles when you swing at the guy, resulting in blood spraying all over you and alpha, but alpha didn't give two shits about the blood. he was just proud of his girl.

ifrit

the guy's digging himself a grave, teasing a cute and innocent ghoulette like you when he didn't know you had a big, bad, and sexy ghoul mate waiting to sink his teeth into his neck.

he was incredibly flabbergasted when you dealt with it yourself, and walked over to your with his hands slightly raised in disbelief.

gives you the most amazing head that night as a reward for your good work.

aurora

she was sat on a bench, sipping her strawberry boba while holding your blueberry boba in her other hand.

she had just gotten her claws done with you, as you were having a girls day out.

screams "THAT'S MY FUCKING GIRL SLAY THAT MAN QUEEN!" when you kill the dude bothering a clearly lesbian ghoulette.

cirrus

leaning against a wall when she saw the bland concrete being splattered with ruby red blood and thought something had happened to you.

but no, it was just her pretty little pillow princess tearing a man to shreds for making inappropriate comments and gestures to her.

walks over and kicks the dead guy, then swings you over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes back to the ministry.

cumulus

what the fuck??

she left you for two seconds, TWO seconds, and a guy was already trying to get in your pants?

satan on a fucking enchilada, human men were annoying.

but all that irritation was killed at the same time he was, and she just stood there in a proud girlfriend stance.

mist

UGH, this is why the only men mist hangs out with are the ghouls, brothers of sin, and the papas.

has a visible expression of disgust on her face when the fuckhead starts talking about how he thinks that women were made to serve their husbands, and you had the same expression as her.

so you quickly shut him up with claws to the chest which cut through his heart in no time, prancing over to your girlfriend and giving her an innocent peck on the cheek.

[kroosluvr]

sorry i feel bad for ranting on """Main"" i guess though i kinda keep this more of apersonal blog than a very polished art blog thing. under the cut

things wld be easier if i was just an oc-centric artist (which i kinda am but only to myself in my head) but it Is how it is at this point (i want to draw my ocs more but they never turn out the way i want) and theres just so much i want to draw for the silly little media franchises that happen to capture my stupid little heart and etc.

ahhhhhhhhhhhh ifeel stupid for loving too much or whatever. i dont want to throw a pity party over this either because in the end its just "who cares LOVE WHAT U LOVE DRAW WHAT U WANT" right but in the moment i feel stupid and it sucks and i hate it actually!!!!!!! and i WILL in fact keep drawing hwat i want and what makes me happy but like idkidkdidkgkhw

sometimes i cant help thinking if i was a better artist.,, like more artistically skilled........ would people really say the things they do about the things i draw

^ (Authors note: no one has been mean about the stuff i draw just. side comments i guess lol. from my friends though and not random people . so its harder to just brush off i guess)

like maybe im just not good enough yet. which is fine. spite is actually a really good drawing proponent. but its also just like . when will it be enough to be worth it? will it be worth being my friend now if im a good artist? if i draw what you want? ...........................

its obviously not discounting the people who really enjoy my art style adn what i draw regardless (which im soooo so grateful for bc i never like expect anyone to stick around sicne my fixations change like the wind) but its like... these r the people i spend the most time with . and it sucks. i have to. second guess what i say and what i type and just. ok like i know its not that serious either but i hate it i really dont like it (<- im also just socially anxious if u cant tell)

and its also like i cant just extract myself from my friend group for a while to kinda cool off (read: muster the courage to be an idiot in front of them again) bc ummmmm um i dont have many friends . they are kind of all i got. (which is nice i like small circles(?) im not good at opening up to people.) and i do admire and like them very much but then i just feel like i get bit in the ass all the time (This past month) with shit like this i guess

and honestly like. well half the reason i keep switching fixations is BECAUSE of stuff like this where i feel self conscious of """"Being obsessed"""" over One thing so much so i just immediately switch tracks so fast but its just a cycle (Which i dont see as a bad thing tbh? it keeps my art moving and things fresh so like.)

And honestly i dont really try to . be too vocal about. fandom? stuff? when im with my friends? unless they bring it up first? i got burnt so many times with my vtuber interests so like lol ive Learned. but maybe it slips out too much? bruh. my bad i guess

i have to stop thinking abt this man.., why has this happened to me so many times this past month lol its kind of ridiculous

(Im sure they dont like. mean it. right? ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, if they actually meant it and want me to shut up then they should just actually say so right.,

i just want to draw . its not going to stop me from drawing but damn does it really like rain on my parade or put a dent in my fender or whatever other sayings that i cant think of right now

in the end i really REALLY appreciate frm the very very bottom of my heart everyone that even remotely likes/appreciates my art (especially the persona stuff nowadays bc thats what im mainly pouring all my mental and physical and emotional into) like i really really mean it. because this stuff like my silly comics and stuff is really stuff i make for purely my own heart and just what i want to see kinda. and so it just makes me feel really warm that people also want to see it and keep seeing it and love it and everything like that. and, with all this kind of negative stuff going on i just go back and reread tags and comments and stuff and i feel encouraged to keep going and draw more and everything like that. so like really, truly, thank you. i really never thought so many people would like the stuff i make. even if its not really artistically good, or really deeply interesting, im really happy it could be something special to people out there

[tlanwen]

Every time wenzhou should have (or could have) kissed in the entirety of Word of Honor (2021)

a few disclaimers- 1; MEGA spoilers for the whole entire show. yes, all the way up to episode 36. 2; we have gotten so so many sweet moments in this drama and there is no doubt in my mind that the production crew did their absolute damnedest to give us a genuine love story with all the constraints that were set on them. they did a fucking incredible job and the lengths they went to to embody wenzhou’s love and bond on screen is commendable to say the least. and i owe them my life. However i just think said sweet scenes just scream ok now kiss at very specific moments, and i need to get it out of my system. Long ass fucking post under cut!

are you strapped in. ok let’s go

The rooftop scene (Episode 9)

earlier in this ep we get the legendary “the world isn’t important, what’s important is finding your soulmate” monologue, perfect setup leading up to their rooftop drinking date. the “why won’t you ask me why i’m happy?”// “i know you’ll tell me, in your own time” exchange??? a killer. a kiss would fit in perfectly, ideally right after zzs shushes wkx (and wkx shuts his mouth. for once). quite literally this moment is Made for a first kiss.

“You look like a worried mother“ // drinking by the road (Episode 12)

man, this episode. I can’t decide which moment is more suitable (and both happen in busy streets so that rains a little on our emotional parade), but at this point we’ve got acknowledgement on both sides that they’re willing to accept each other as the people they truly are, and they’ve rescued their surrogate son from impending doom twice. but i am leaning towards the latter scene, esp bc of the way zzs leans into wkx while they’re talking. he hasn’t done that much up until now. kiss kiss.

Talking about disguises & mustaches (and getting on one’s knees?¿) (Episode 13)

this scene is so fucking sugary and light, they’re just teasing back and forth (zzs! teasing wkx! that’s new!). we also get the severely cute “wait, did you just admit that my face is outstanding?” line. just kiss already.

Rain divorce (Episode 14)

angst? did someone say, pain? if this were a regular boring romance flick, this is were the tragedy-ridden kiss would go. wkx is watching the future he planned for both of them crumble right in front of him, trying to come to terms with the fact that zzs is dying (and that he did it to himself, on purpose.), and zzs is just kind of going thru it. the rain really would add to the drama of it all, like Right after the “fortunately, fortunately...” line. punctuate it with a kiss. would also add to the irony of wkx saying he hasn’t fallen yet, and yet here he is, a mess, bc of this information he wasn’t ready to receive (thanks ye baiyi).

3rd child rescue and cave chats (Episode 16)

we’ve had the angst, we have the begrudging /i’m mad at you and i love you but i dont like you right now/ moments, and in comes more rain and wkx monologuing. zzs saying that wkx isn’t evil and that he has a kind heart is exactly what he needed to hear. and i just think he should’ve finished it with a kiss <3

Drunk mess wkx (Episode 17)

why is this man allowed to drink. this is all so much take your fucking pick. after the “my lips are the perfect size, right A-xu?” comment, the ”does it hurt?” coupled with wkx’s hand reaching out to zzs’ chest. the “i’m just scared. could you not die on me?”?? zzs tucking in a very drunk and sad man and saying “one day you’ll open up your heart to me, until i achieve it even god can’t tear me away from you” just............. pick a line any line. 

Tumbling out of the cave under Longyuan Cabinet (Episode 18)

specifically in that birds-eye shot where it slowly pans over to their disheveled faces after the romcom-esque tumbling out of the tunnel (that was framed oh so romantically in the episode trailer. complete with romantic music). like are you Kidding me. 

((i’m skipping ep 19-21. i think some people would say at any point during the cave scenes/the shidi/shixiong reveal would also be fair game, but in my opinion it’s far too much of an emotionally volatile situation so i can’t see any kiss potential. the hand holding and comforting was much appreciated tho))

Wkx sneaking up on his deep-in-thoughts husband (Episode 22)

secluded lake? check. all alone? check. gentle smiles in a tense moment? we got a bingo. at this point zzs knows who wkx actually is And respects his decision to go by his own chosen name as a separate entity from the healer sect he came from (for his own personal, maybe misguided reasons). and i just think that *screams*

Waking up from the stress induced sleep (thru the power of hand holding?) (Episode 23)

this whole thing was so much, and the way the scene is framed to look like it was zzs’ touch that literally woke up wkx, And the way he looks at him after he wakes up. yea. kiss methinks.

Literally the entirety of the night time venting/healing/spilling ur guts out scene (Episode 24)

Ok i’m about to contradict myself here, i said im not going over ep 19-21 because Volatile Emotions, and this scene is also very viscerally emotional and intense but oh my God the intimacy! the openness! i had to look away multiple times during this scene bc it really seems like a private moment we shouldn’t be privy to. i cannot in good conscience say that, had wkx not kind of stormed out at the very end, a kiss would be guaranteed. whether to soothe zzs after so much crying or whatever other reason.

Painting restoration (also episode 24)

wkx’s second love language is acts of service and this episode is all the evidence i need to make that statement. we do get a very cute heartfelt family hug in here and wow cute but im sorry i cannot let go of the fact that there should have been a kiss here. i really hate inserting photos in textposts but i have to bc i need everyone to understand how much zzs looks like he wants to devour wkx whole after he realizes what he’s doing

look at it. he’s down bad.

More drinking! yay! (Episode 25)

just soulmates drinking and talking in the hush of night after their kid has been put to bed. always a great way to start an episode. they’ve settled into 4 seasons manor at this point and it doesn’t look like they’re going anywhere, they just look so comfortable in these shots. if u dropped a quick peck on the cheek in there i wouldn’t blink twice.

Narrow escape from dying with (and for) each other, courtesy of ye baiyi (Episode 27)

at this point most secrets are out of the bag, they see each other fully and were about to be killed 4 seconds ago. we’ve got the perfect setup, zzs already grabbed wkx by the face, the only thing between them and a kiss was the looming threat of sepsis.

speaking of episode 27, The spice grinding scene (have i mentioned i fucking love episode 27)

just two soulmates grinding spices at night. this scene is so lighthearted and cute, after a whole episode of emotional turmoil and cementing how emotionally vulnerable they're willing to be/how dedicated they are to respecting each others’ boundaries while still supporting each other, a kiss would fit in for sure.

Literally any point in the new years celebration (Episode 28)

waaAAAAA family decorating, bickering, and dinners. if i was writing it in i would put it right after chengling runs off to watch the fireworks, leaving wenzhou alone with each other. but anything goes really, they’re in their element all episode.

Knight in shining (red) armor rescue (Episode 30)

first of all- fuck prince jin, second of all, THIS SCENE ARE YOU KIDDING ME. literally the damsel in distress getting rescued. complete with a horseback ride! and wkx kneeling in front of zzs and acknowledging him as his master (and therefore himself as part of the sect again!!!!). so many emotions. i dont even care if they’re in front of all their new disciples. a romantic kiss is necessary. it would be so easy for zzs to take the hand he’s patting wkx with and use it to drag him up into a kiss.

Hairpin scene (Episode 30)

i’m not even gonna say anything. these bitches engaged on screen. good for them

“Save it, you“ (Episode 32)

god. just god. zzs gently floating down to wkx, thinking he’s gonna throw his life away in anger Again and getting so very in his face. and saying That. with That smile. what else is an option. there is no other option. just kiss.

“Senior, please let me handle this“ (Episode 33)

i am willingly ignoring how fucking painful this scene is if you think about it for longer than 3 seconds. wkx isn’t dead! and the asshole forgot to tell his beloved to not do anything stupid while he was away! oopsie! zzs is a)very mad, b)very relieved, c)is about to experience a lifetime’s worth of regret in about 3 minutes. but first thing’s first, the love of his life isn’t dead. that deserves a kiss.

Drunk wkx 2: painful boogaloo (Episode 34)

these episodes are so painful to re-watch lol. wkx clinging to zzs’ waist and talking about how easy it is to be a good happy person when he’s around him. they probably couldn’t manage a proper kiss between the alcohol in wkx and the Pain in zzs, but a gentle forehead kiss would fit in well while zzs is softly petting wkx’s head (still resting on his chest. that’s an important detail).

Wedding aftermath (Episode 35)

i’m so distraught. anyways. you can’t tell me zzs was going to sulk away to die alone like some sort of tragic housecat while wkx is recuperating after the battle (and after losing the second most important person in his life) without a kiss. not without giving him the gentlest of forehead kisses.

Literally at any point in episode 36

i’m watching this tomorrow but i don’t need to. i don’t care. we know what happens. we know how it ends. if you’re about to give up your life to keep your soulmate alive you best preface it with the kiss of a lifetime.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #321

i’m exploring the deepest recesses of tumblr to unearth super old surveys, so you can expect an onslaught of ‘em.

When someone is tailgating you, do you drive faster or slower? I drive the same speed, even though it makes me incredibly uncomfortable. What place outside of your own home do you spend the most time at? My sister's place. Have you ever been snorkeling? No. Do most of your relatives live in the same state/province as you? No; only my parents and immediate sisters live here. Have you ever participated in a medical study? No. Is there a food you hate that everyone else seems to like? Especially where I live, fried chicken. It's disgusting. Have you ever had to evacuate from a natural disaster? No. Do you have any family members who are cancer survivors? Numerous, actually. Do you have any licenses other than your driver's license? I don't even have a driver's license, never mind anything else. What job does you significant other have? I’m single. When you were in elementary school, what was a typical afternoon like once you got home from school? I did my homework right away; well, after having a snack. After that, I was most likely on the computer playing Neopets or Webkinz, or something on the PlayStation. Is your favorite movie part of a series? Yes. Have you ever played in a water puddle? Sure, as a kid. I loved that. Have you ever played in a mud puddle? I don't think so. Have you ever kissed someone (outside) in the rain? Yes. He did it purely to be romantic, lol. Have you ever lost control of your car in the rain? No, thank fuck. Have you ever had to attend summer school? No. Have you ever experienced a summer where the temperature exceeded 120'F/49'C? Yikes, no, not that high. The highest we usually get is below 110. Do you live in a hot or cold (normally) climate? Hot. It sucks. Has your community ever had a “smog alert”? No. Have you ever raked leaves, and then played in them? Oh, absolutely as a kid. Dad would rake a pile just for us kids. Have they ever cancelled school because it was too hot? At least once, yes. Have you ever had to shovel snow? No. Have you ever experienced “cat’s breath”, where the wind was so powerful it took your breath away, literally? Yep, especially when I visited Sara and we went on a walk. It was fucking outrageous. Safe to say I didn't last long on that walk. Has your/or have you been in a car that was stuck in a snowstorm? No. What does your MySpace profile look like? I haven't seen it since that site was still "a thing." I do remember, however, that it was COVERED in meerkats, haha. Pictures, facts, etc. And my page song was "Pocketful of Sunshine" by Natasha Beddingfield lmao. Do you like living in the country or city better? Country, 100%. I'm not a city gal by any means. Do you have a big backyard? No, it's very small. Not used to that at all. What is your favorite Adam Sandler movie? I don't know, he's in too many to choose lmao. What was the last thing that surprised you? Apparently a rocket crashed today after launch. What color hair did your first crush have? Brown. Have you ever visited your state’s capitol building? No. I... didn't even know those existed lmao I feel dumb. Who was the last person that said something that warmed your heart? I'm not sure, but I'm quite certain my niece or nephew would be involved there, haha. What is your favorite park? I don't have one. Have you ever felt an earthquake? No. Do you believe anyone is asexual? ???????????? Yes???????????? Were you abused? No. Have you ever missed a deadline? Yeah. Can you tell Mary-Kate and Ashley apart in pictures? I haven't seen them in an eternity, idk. Describe your fondest memory: I don't really want to... but I'll entertain the question. It's hard to choose, and they just about all include Jason. I think what I hold closest though was our dance to "Stairway to Heaven" after prom in the headlights of his car in my front yard. It's something that physically hurts to remember. What song makes you cry every time you hear it? Let's set aside my "trigger songs" for this. "Terrible Things" by Mayday Parade does it very easily. How often do you break your promises? I almost never do. I don't bullshit around with promises. I've only ever broken ones I'd forgotten I'd made, if my memory serves me right. How long do you take in the shower, on average? Not even 10 minutes. Do you have your MySpace/Facebook profile set to a "friends only" setting? Yes. Did your last kiss mean anything? Why or why not? Of course it did. I care very, very deeply for her. Are your summers usually boring and relaxing, or busy and interesting? "Summers are hot and miserable." <<<< mood Tell me a crazy thing you did as a child. I don't really think I did anything "crazy" as a child, just weird. Like pretending to be a father penguin arranging rocks to mock a nest. I was fuckin weird. How many best friends do you have? One. When you’re upset, who do you wanna talk to the most? Either Sara, Mom, or nobody. Opinion on Daughtry? They're nice. "No Surprise" is positively beautiful. Do you like country music? Noooooo. What’s been the most awkward situation you've been in? Okay, possible TMI. Basically, Jason's parents arrived home way, way earlier than they were supposed to and my panicky ass couldn't find my clothes quickly, and when I finally did, I had to dress as quickly as possible in his tiny-ass closet while he distracted his mom and dad lmfao. I'ma just say it was a very close call to me melting into a mortified puddle. I look back on it and laugh now, but the absolute, throbbing fear I felt was NOT funny back then lmfao. Don’t you love that feeling when you look at someone and you just melt? <3 That is genuinely one of the best feelings in the entire world. Do you prefer male or female singers? I have no preference. So what are you planning for this summer? Nothing, really... Who knows where the Covid situation will be then. What’s a good book? In general for absolutely anyone, Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo. It is a book about pacifism that is so very deep and emotional. For women, I highly recommend The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. As a woman myself, the concept of the book is terrifying, to be reduced to reproduction machines without rights, so it's something you can really feel as a female. It's a book that definitely makes you want to fight for women's rights. Is it awkward for you when your parents talk to you about boys etc… No. I'm a grown woman. Now if she asked about my sex life (if I had one), I'd feel a bit weird, but not very. Do you like it when guys play with your hair? Yeah. Ever cried when you had to say goodbye to someone? Well of course. Over multiple people. Have your parents ever hated one of your boyfriends/girlfriends? No. Have you ever dreamt of someone you barely know? Indeed. Do you have a blood donor’s card? Yep. Have you ever taken a pregnancy test? I had to before surgery. Has anyone seen you naked in the last week? No. What kind of doctor did you go to the last time you went? It was via phone, but I talked with my psychiatrist a few days ago. Does your ex still think about you? I'm sure Sara and Girt do, as they're my good friends, but idk if either think of me romantically. I would hope Jason at least remembers me with some degree of care in his heart... As for Juan, Aaron, and Tyler, idk if they do and I don't really care. What has been bothering you a lot lately? My weight. Are you trustworthy? I think so, yes. Did your parents teach that white lies were ok? Yeah, but it definitely depends on the situation. Which literary character would you dress up as, if you had to choose one? Speaking of The Handmaid's Tale, for Halloween one year, I really, really want to take some cool photos of me dressed as a handmaid with a (obviously fake) blood splatter over my stomach. What (or who) is the best thing that ever happened to you? Being born with the mom I have, probably. I have no idea. None. Of where I'd be without her. Do you miss college? Sigh, sometimes... but I'm not going back. No chance. Dropping out three times due to my mental state hints at a clear pattern. Have you ever called a teacher “mom”? Yeah, accidentally. Except with my physical science teacher in HS that eventually became my "other mom" and most recently our landlord, even. I call her "Mama" sometimes. What was the name of your first imaginary friend? It was a wolf whose name I don't remember. What color was your nursery when you were a baby? No clue. What is your favorite arcade game? I desperately wanna go to a location that has Silent Hill: The Arcade. :/ That's on my bucket list. It's very rare. Are you allergic to grass? No. Do you remember to water plants? I don’t have any plants to water. What is your favorite fall drink? I don't drink any "fall" drinks. Favorite winter drink? Hot chocolate! Favorite spring drink? There are "spring" drinks? Favorite summer drink? Gimme a nice, cold margarita. Name three creative people you know. Sara, Tez, and Mini are some of the most creative people I've ever written with. Name 3 YouTubers you aspire to be like. Mark in like a million different ways, I look up greatly to Jeffree Star's work ethic (say what you will about him personally, but holy shit does mama WORK), and Emzotic for her incredible growth after trauma that's left her more confident than ever, and she's amazing with animals and just a darling overall. Does anyone know who your current crush is? Yeah, I'm pretty open about it. Have you ever been scammed? Not successfully, no. Which song describes your life? I relate to "Get Up" by Mother Mother a lot at this point in my life. If someone dislikes you, what is most likely to be the reason? Probably because I open up so slowly/am very secretive of myself when someone might be trying to get close. People have also criticized my laziness. Where did you meet the last person you swapped numbers with? YouTube. At least I think Tez was the last person I gave my number to. Who was the last person to add you as a friend on Facebook? Hunter, my neighbor growing up. Who was the last person that asked if you were okay? My therapist. I had to leave group due to severe abdominal cramping. It was just my period, but he just wanted to check. What was the last thing you bought from a vending machine? Probably a soda back when I was still in school. Has anyone given you butterflies recently? Actually yeah; I had a memory of Sara that caused 'em to revisit me. What was the name of the first person you ever had a crush on? Why did you like them? I'm going to exclude my puppy-dog crush (Dylan) and talk about my first "real" crush, Sebastian. I liked him because we had very similar interests, he was really friendly, nice, and funny, and he clearly trusted me a lot because he actually confided in me regarding the relationship he was in that was struggling and causing him a lot of pain. I thought he was attractive, too. Ngl, I wonder sometimes where we could have gone if he hadn't been dating the girl, because I'm 90% sure he was into me, too. In current times, he very recently got engaged! Super happy for him. Which parent do you identify with the most? My ma. What do you think you cook or bake the best? Scrambled eggs, I guess. That's just about all I CAN make, haha. My family likes 'em. I always use American cheese, salt, pepper, and a bit of hot sauce. What embarrasses you the most in front of other people? Admitting I RP. If you had to choose one thing you were most passionate about, what would it be and why? Of actually important things, gay rights. If we're talkin' passionate about anything, then the answer's meerkats, duh. Who are you most envious of—real or fictional—and why? A rival photographer that lives here. I absolutely hate admitting that, but yeah, I'm extremely envious of her. She gets way more traffic than I do by a long shot, even though I, from a completely modest and honest standpoint, genuinely think I do better work than her. It's just frustrating. All about who you know in this business. How old is the most expired item in your fridge? Supposedly our milk expired on the 1st, but it smells just fine? And mind you, I am very cautious with expiration dates, and I've found milk typically starts to smell bad a few days earlier than the date to me. This jug is an outlier. What are your favorite style of underwear? I'm a fat old lady that likes high-waisted underwear. What’s the saddest song you’ve ever heard? Maybe "The Ballad of Dwight Fry" by Alice Cooper. I could name tons, though. How about the sweetest song? Maybe "Easy to Love You" by Theory of a Deadman. Another song I struggle to listen to because it was one of mine and Jason's "songs." Do you know how to play dominoes? No. Are you proud of what you’re doing with your heart and time right now? Not in the least. Why or why not? I'm just wasting time. Doing nothing with true meaning, and I seem unable to get over this low point I'm in. How many bones have you broken? One. Well, I was told "fractured," but apparently that's the same thing as broken? Have you ever won anything? Big or small? Yeah, multiple things. What food will you absolutely not, under any circumstances, eat? Animals like cats or dogs. Pets, basically. I would feel WAY too weird. Has anything/anyone every saved your life before? Yes. What is one thing you’re embarrassed to admit you want to try? If I'm embarrassed by it, why would I share it with whoever reads these? What is the most important memory you have and why? When I decided it was truly time to move on from Jason. Why that's my most important is obvious: it changed my mindset and life in general. Is there something you wish you had said sorry for but never did? God, I hope Jason read my apology email I last sent him. I finally accepted I did wrong, too, and I want to know that he knows that. Who was the last person you know to have a birthday? My youngest niece's first birthday was mid-February. What’s a musical instrument you think sounds really beautiful? The violin. Do you play that instrument? I wish I could. Do you have a favorite type of pasta? (like a shape of noodles, not dish) Just spaghetti noodles, ig. How many times a day do you brush your teeth? Once. Who sent the last e-mail you got? My PHP therapist sent me the Zoom link to our group session. Do you have a favorite shape? Out of basic ones, circles. What’s the last song you bought/downloaded? I don't recall. Probably something by 3TEETH. Have you ever been on a trapeze? Hell nah. Do you buy chocolate after Valentine’s Day when it goes on sale? No. Do you personally know anyone who is an author? I met a poet at the psych hospital once. I also have an old friend who had something published in a magazine, I think. Do you own a polaroid camera? No, but I'd love to to take more ~aesthetic~ photographs sometimes. What is something you think is underrated? Snakes! :( They're not scary or gross, nor do they in any way deserve to be killed. I wish the worth of snakes was seen much more clearly. They are spectacular, intriguing animals. Around what temperature do you consider it to be too hot outside? Once it hits like 65*F, I'm starting to feel uncomfortable. In what ways do you expect your life to be different one year from now? I hope beyond hope that I have a job I enjoy. And that I'm driving again. What’s a hobby you used to have, but don’t anymore? I used to loooove video editing, but I've lost all motivation for it. Do you have any exercise equipment in your home? Somewhere we have this one stretchy thing that I have no idea what it's called, then there are two sets of small weights somewhere. Where is the farthest north you’ve traveled to? New York. Farthest south? Florida. East? Well, ya can't go more east in NC unless you want to drive into the ocean... lol. West? Illinois. If you have/want children, will you raise them similar to the way you were raised? If I had kids, I would in some ways, but in a lot of other ways, no. Do you have any unusual decorations in your home? Nothing strange, no. What is the highest level math class you’ve completed? I don't know. Not very high. Do you have an ebook reader? (iPad, Kindle, etc.) No. What kind of natural disaster is most common where you live? Hurricanes. Have you ever had an animal get into your attic? No. When was the last time you started a “new chapter” of your life? 2017, ig. What is the last random act of kindness you did? I guess you could consider a loving text to Sara a random act of kindness?

[birlcholtz]

you did bittyholtz so now how about bittyrans

bittyrans you say??? this is so fucking long it’s over 2.5k i’ve written full ass fics shorter than this i am going to bED

it starts with the PSLs, as so many things do. (do they???? idk i’ve only had like 2 psls in my life) PSLs turn into rans and bitty having weekly scheduled ‘get coffee and talk about the absolutely obscene lifestyle choices of the rest of our team,’ featuring holster and jack’s wardrobes, the green couch, and shitty’s inability to chew without talking at the same time, among other things

and THEN ‘coffee and bitch’ sessions turn into 'coffee and talk about whatever u feel’ sessions and eventually it just becomes a Thing. saturday mornings are for ransom and bitty. there’s still a lot of 'coffee and bitch’ happening, because it’s not like holster’s adidas slides and socks combo just went away, but they realize it’s not just expensive lattes and a half decent sense of fashion and hygiene that unites them. 

they deal with academic pressure in such different ways that it’s almost impossible to notice the similarities until they start talking more and more and realize they both feel that pressure (ransom because everything he turns in has to be perfect, bitty because he has a ridiculously hard time concentrating on things that don’t interest him, like for instance many of his classes), it’s just that ransom has nervous breakdowns that feature a lot of crying under the table and bitty bakes things as therapy until he’s forgotten all about whatever he needed to do.

so what happens when eric bittle (unofficially voted cutest member of smh 80 times) and justin oluransi (the most beautiful man at samwell) hang out a lot?

well, the first thing that happens is that people stare at them a lot as they walk around but ransom genuinely doesn’t notice because this happens to him all the time it’s never *not* happened and bitty notices but he figures it’s just because Ransom. u know.

ransom also finds bitty’s vlog, watches like 8 videos immediately (holster: dude are u ok), and barrels into the kitchen with his laptop in hand like BITTY CAN WE MAKE THIS

and bitty’s like oh sure! and ransom’s like. no. i mean can WE make this. i want to learn to make it and bitty’s like FUCK yeah

over the course of learning to make this dish ransom successfully wheedles bitty into letting him be on his vlog, bitty’s subscribers are Shook at this beautiful man just suddenly appearing when bitty has literally never had a guest before. he and ransom struggle to call each other by their first names the entire time and it’s fun and silly and they DO actually get a decent pie in the oven so it’s a success ('teaching my teammate to bake a _____’ sorry i didn’t think of a recipe lol. fill in whatever u want)

and then the comments on that video blow up, mostly with comments about ransom, some are just about how beautiful he is, some are like eric…. >.> why is this man on your channel when nobody else has ever been. eric do you have a boyfriend and where did you find him

bitty reads all these comments and does Not mention them to ransom but he’s mildly flattered that these people just assumed he was dating rans. because it’s hard to stand next to ransom and still feel attractive oops

BUT he also gets a bunch of new subscribers, which is why he asks ransom if he wants to be on the vlog again a few weeks later and ransom is like oh HELL yes

but it’s too late. bitty’s read all the comments asking if they’re dating. he never thought about ransom in that context before but he’s read all the comments now and he can’t stop thinking about what it would be like to date him. oops

they do the second video, and bitty firmly tells himself that they’re just friends and he’s just overthinking all of those comments, but also ransom smiling directly at someone is a force to be reckoned with and bitty literally cannot stop himself from smiling back (it’s a good thing they’re the only ones in the kitchen because anyone else would probably explode from observing it. bitty smiling is much more powerful than he knows)

okay and like. if bitty thought the comments on the first video were a lot. the sECOND video with justin oluransi?? it blows up. particularly because of one part where bitty catches ransom stealing a strawberry and just gasps and goes “justin” and people lose their minds over it. eric is so appalled. justin grins in a way that is only half apologetic and immediately reaches for another one and eric literally almost yeets the pie down the counter away from him. people set it to music on tiktok (i know tiktok wasn’t a thing while they were in college let me h a v e this)

and let it be known, ransom is also reading the comments on these videos, and he sees all the ones asking if he’s bitty’s boyfriend and he’s like haha wait what and tHEn he goes back and rewatches the videos he’s been in and like?? okay he can see why they think that. bitty puts his hands over ransom’s a lot and ransom slings an arm around bitty’s shoulders a lot but that’s just normal for smh??????? right??????? RIGHT??????????

too late. they’re both overanalyzing every single interaction now

(holster: bro did you see this tiktok of you and— ransom: and bitty losing five years off his life expectancy? yeah holster: nono this one’s set to don’t rain on my parade/the sound of silence/et cetera you have to watch it)

ransom still isn’t in most of bitty’s videos because honestly most of his stuff goes way over ransom’s level of baking knowledge. but he still watches them and it’s kind of nice to watch vlogs where bitty is so obviously in his element? the way he talks to the camera is so friendly and charming and the way he bakes is so efficient and professional. and because he’s a masochist he reads the comments on those ones too and finds a lot where people are asking where justin is. but mostly he’s focused on bitty and how obvious it is that this is bitty’s THING. he just exudes confidence and happiness and it’s kind of hypnotizing honestly

(he also goes back to bitty’s earliest vlogs and is like holy shit BABY BITTY. SO SMALL. and bitty in those videos is still charming but a little less calm and collected— the editing is a little less smooth, and he can’t quite stop himself from adding editorial comments about his aunt’s and his mother’s different techniques. it’s kind of adorable. and like, bitty is still adorable— wait what just crossed ransom’s brain???)

because bitty IS adorable, just a little more put together now. he still gets more excited by discussing types of flour than anyone else ransom has ever met, and he still bops along to whatever song is stuck in his head while he bakes, and when ransom sees bitty after bingeing roughly half of his videos and feels something in his chest lighten, he figures that’s probably going to be his new normal.

and people in the comments clamor for more videos with ransom, and ransom sees these comments, and bitty does too, and ransom seeing these comments is why he pokes his head into the kitchen when he knows bitty is filming, silently waves at the camera, and then leaves again before bitty’s even noticed that he’s there. it makes it into the final cut of the video and the comments section goes wild.

ransom and bitty still hang out plenty outside of doing vlogs together— bitty eventually gets a few dollars in ad revenue from the first video ransom was in and insists that they go on a celebratory unscheduled annie’s trip. (annie’s date energy intensifies)

and while they’re at annie’s/hanging out around campus/bitty has let ransom drag him to the library for some reason bitty can’t help but wonder what it would be like if he was actually dating ransom. he can’t deny that he thinks about ransom in that way now— it’s hard NOT to honestly?? like ransom has been objectively beautiful since the first day bitty met him (and before that, but y'know, not as relevant to bitty’s life) and maybe it’s just his imagination but he thinks that ever since they’ve started making these videos ransom’s smiles have lingered just a little longer and there are more of them, too. and the vlogs have also shown bitty a side of ransom that he doesn’t see a lot, because nobody sees it a lot— ransom trying something he isn’t already good at. throwing himself into it with enthusiasm, actually, and that NEVER happens. ransom is not great at handling failure? but bitty gets to see him cut loose and relax and laugh at his mistakes and he kind of loves it and loves this version of ransom he hasn’t seen before

and ransom, for his part, has been steadily falling for the sheer force of bitty’s charisma when he’s doing something he loves, ever since he first found bitty’s vlog. and as he looks closer he realizes it’s not just the vlog— bitty has always had these depths to him, he just kind of lets them out when he’s baking? and ransom feels kind of privileged to be able to see that side of him so regularly

(also i’m just saying that ransom is very into intelligence and watching bitty fire off answers without even blinking to obscure baking questions where ransom only understands about 30% of the words is a turn on)

but ransom’s become a fan favorite on bitty’s vlog, and he keeps making recurring appearances and even improves a little at baking (which bitty always comments on when he notices an improvement— it’s half chirpy and half genuine pride), and people in the comments BEG them to do a q&a for like. a couple of months. before bitty is like uhhh if i want to make money off of this channel i gotta give the people what they want

so he makes a normal vlog but at the end ransom pops in and they’re like hey we’re gonna do a q&a for our next video where eric answers baking questions and justin is also there since y'all really want him there for some reason??? (but bitty says it nicer and less confused than that)

bitty immediately realizes why ppl want ransom to be in the q&a so bad when about 25% of the comments are about baking and the rest of them are about bitty and ransom. roughly three-quarters of THOSE fully assume they’re dating and the rest of them are just asking if they’re dating.

so bitty is like um ransom?? we should probably address this in our q&a?? everyone really wants to know if we’re dating??

and this interaction is incredibly awkward. i need you all to know that. it’s incredibly awkward because bitty is like 'okay so like YES i like ransom in more than a friend way but this is literally the worst scenario ever i literally can’t believe my subscribers are calling me out for making eyes at him’ and ransom is like 'fuck fuck fuck i want to date bitty but i don’t want to make it weird is it weird??? because of his vlog?????? what do i do??????’

but anyway then ransom is like uh yeah we should address that! and then like. says nothing

and bitty’s like uuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh. sooooooooooooo. what do we say

and ransom’s like. :0. um. (the amount of ums and uhs in this conversation are astonishing let me say) well. are we dating??

and bitty genuinely can’t tell if ransom actually meant that as a question or if it was sarcastic and he says as much and ransom is like no that was a real question i actually don’t know if we’re dating or not?

and bitty is like holy shit i can’t believe this is happening what the fuck and he says well. we should um. clear that up. before the q&a

and ransom’s like yeah we should. uh. like. we COULD be dating.

and bitty’s like ….yeah yeah we could. are we?

and ransom’s like do you want to be?

and bitty’s like do you want to be?

and ransom’s like i asked first and bitty’s like damn u got me there. and then he’s like yeah i …. kinda want to be dating and ransom is like swawesome me too glad we cleared that up, how was ur lit seminar and bitty is like HOLD ON JUSTIN OLURANSI because did that just fuckin happen??? we can’t just MOVE ON from that conversation that fast????

so they wind up talking about how basically bitty’s vlog inspired Feelings in both of them and it’s very emotional because ransom is like i love that i feel like i can make mistakes around you and bitty is like i love that you put in the effort to learn about what i care about and they go to annie’s because That’s What They Do and get matching drinks as they always do and smile at each other the whole time (bitty is also literally pinching himself because What The Fuck, how did i wheel JUSTIN OLURANSI) and then they go back to the haus and start picking the questions to respond to in their q&a

ransom does get busier and can’t spend as much time in bitty’s vlogs as usual but he helps bitty plan out what he’s going to talk about when, when to post, the ideal ratio of how-to videos versus just answering questions, and with his help bitty’s vlog starts getting a lot of attention and a lot of subscribers, like, exponentially fast

(it helps that they got memed so early on)

(it also helps that their q&a video where they confirmed they were dating was fucking adorable because they talked about how they got together and how a big part of it was bc of bitty’s vlog and it’s just the sweetest goddamn thing and that video totally blows up too)

(intentional celebrity eric bittle. accidental celebrity justin oluransi.)

it gets to a point where bitty is like. making legitimate money from his vlog and he INSISTS on compensating ransom in some way (ransom: i like helping you??? bitty: and i like making my vlog doesn’t mean i don’t like getting things out of it) so they work out a system where ransom gets some money for helping bitty plan out videos and edit and he gets some more for videos he’s in and like?? they’re icons. 

some headcanons: 

ransom successfully convinces bitty to wear sperrys

bitty boops ransom’s nose so often that there are compilations of it

bitty also spends a lot of time with ransom when he’s studying for tests because being just like. physically there, like leaning on ransom’s shoulder or holding his hand helps reassure ransom a little

ransom always holds bitty’s face in his hands before kissing him and bitty thinks it’s the best thing ever

there’s an entire swallow issue about them

bitty’s name in ransom’s phone is 'eric butter

bitty tells his parents ransom has been helping him with his vlog before he tells them that they’re together, and coach is like 'nice’ and suzanne bursts with such effusive joy (because ransom is great with parents) that bitty feels himself grinning

the Thesis Battle of 2017 is less increasingly sneaky methods of convincing bitty to write his thesis and more 'bitty read this article on the pomodoro method and then work on ur thesis for twenty minutes so you can bake pie later’ (dex asks ransom if they should cut off bitty’s oven access and ransom is like hmm. well if u do just make sure it doesn’t affect how the kitchen looks because if he can’t even film vlogs answering people’s questions then he’ll be really frustrated)

ransom and bitty shop for clothes together all the time and when it’s winter clothes it’s a constant battle between things that will keep them warm and things that will look cute. they definitely have discussions where bitty’s like 'okay do you think this is warm enough for me’ and ransom’s like 'no that’s warm enough for me you’re from georgia’

both of their snapchat games are INCREDIBLY strong. ransom’s stories are a work of art and bitty is a master of filters and they are constantly communicating via snapchat

ransom also keeps track of all the memes that surface from bitty’s channel and saves them to show bitty later

bitty’s channel gets bigger and bigger and more and more popular and his creative team gets bigger and more complicated to reflect that? but at the same time ransom is always his no. 1

[newtshairdryer]

Thoughts on Descendants 3 as I watch it for the 8th time and pause to look at everybody all the time

- When Ben and Mal are walking out before the proposal, Audrey is slow clapping and it’s hilarious

-Chad seems genuinely happy to see them together but Audrey rains on his parade

-Please look at Chad’s face to the side after Ben gets on his knee his overdramatic gaping mouth is SENDING ME

-Why do they make Belle and the Beast kiss beside each other’s cheeks like a french greeting? For real though they’re Belle and the Beast...they should be kissing in celebration .-.

-Right after the Carlos/Beast chest bump there’s an extra in the background of Bal just having a blast popping bubbles

-Speaking of the bubbles I have no clue where they’re coming from

- Dude in the background when Audrey says ”What is wrong with you people?” bein shady AF to her

-That one girl in the wheelchair that has been in every single movie needs a name cause we all just refer to her as that one girl in the wheelchair lol

-Mal has her own purple fucking limo and she’s not even royalty yet

-Their money is so vibrantly coloured

-Those cards Celia fan out are definitely, well, a fan. They’re all attached- she’s not even holding onto some of them lol

-Mal resting her chin on Ben’s shoulder to watch him and Celia in the limo. soft

-The scenes in the limo make Ben look really big and awkward because they’re all shoved into a small space and he’s in the middle where the smallest person usually goes...but he’s the biggest person XD

-The barrier takes forever to close and there are a ton of people right there, why has no one attempted to just jump through it yet lol

-What if Hades put his hand through the barrier and it just like...cut it off LMFAO now THAT would have been entertaining 

-Hades literally makes himself roll one more time as he’s pushed back. Like there’s no more momentum and you can see he should stop but he makes himself do another somersault and it’s so obvious lol

-I know it’s been said before but the lack of security in the museum is just lazy AF writing. They didn’t even try to make it realistic it’s way too easy to just waltz in and take anything. Apparently the wand is the only thing worthy of an alarm

-Also why is there not even glass around the scepter to even attempt to discourage people from taking it? Even when the museum is OPEN someone could yank it out and start spelling shit up.

-Ben’s phone rings and he hangs it up less than a second after he picked it up- it doesn’t even show him barely looking at it. How on earth did he have time to see a message about the stolen items- let alone the fact it was a phone call ring...not a text ping

- OK WAIT IF UMA IS ON THE LOOSE AND HE TALKED ABOUT BETTER SECURITY SERIOUSLY WHY ON EARTH IS THE MUSEUM SECURITY SO NON EXISTENT??? IN BOTH THE FIRST MOVIE AND THIS ONE THEIR LACK OF SECURITY IS SUCH A GLARINGLY OBVIOUS THING WHY IS IT NON EXISTENT IT MAKES NO SENSE

-Why are the former King and Queen of Auradon and the current reigning King turning to the not yet Queen for all the advice about evil like it’s her responsibility. They don’t even attempt to brainstorm the vast amount of other ideas. And why on earth can’t she just suggest uh...literal guards by the barrier when it opens for them? Like if they paid people on the isle to guard the barrier so other isle people didn’t try to get out it would help a ton. There are so many other solutions other than closing the barrier completely (and then getting rid of it completely??)

-Does anyone else notice that like...50% of Ben’s screen time is him staring in shock/disbelief at things with literally no other expression for entire scenes? Cause I noticed it the first time around

-My favourite outfit in this whole movie for Mal is this light purple dress she has on when talking about closing the barrier for the first time with Ben’s parents and Evie. She is SO GORGEOUS in it. I’m actually not a fan of the leather suit she wears for the rest of the movie cause I don’t feel it fits with her hairstyle- mainly once it starts to go blue

-I just realized Mal’s hair literally goes from pretty much just purple to lots of blue mixed in. I guess it’s cool cause it’s like she gets power from the ember but I honestly prefer her brighter purple hair. My favourite hairstyle was her bangs she looked like an actual goddess in the 2nd movie

-I think everyone was thinking Dude got into Jane’s cake (despite the very neatly cut corner)

-I honestly love Mal’s face when Audrey shows up with the crown and scepter and her whole new gettup like “What on earth is this chick doing”

-I reiterate “what on earth is this chick doing” as Audrey goes to...sniff? the scepter?

-I wAnT tO bE dAnGeRoUS

-Audrey through a cupcake on the ground. So evil

-Honestly I’m sorry but Audrey talking all angsty to the people at Jane’s party is really cringey. Her lines are just...hhhhhhhhh (you mindless little drones in particular just seems weird the way she says it)

-How on earth does Audrey not see Jane get in the lake...she’s literally right there in full view

-OK so not ALL magic doesn’t work on the Isle, according to Celia only evil magic doesn’t work- so yes Maleficent is still a lizard cause Mal’s spell wasn’t an evil one

-Even with her massive platform shoes Mal is so much shorter than Hades she is yelling at him but having to look way up she’s adorable

- Hades “LET’S DANCE” - proceeds to shake a tambourine, slap his butt with it and stick his tongue out. ok then

-Why did I never notice Mal shake the tambourine at him angrily and then throw it lmao

-WHERE IS THE WIND COMING FROM IN THIS SONG (I will touch back on random wind that shouldn’t be there later on too)

-Mal should say thank you for the ember...imo

-”If it gets wet it’s game over” thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat’s what she said

-Mal’s walking away from Haes up those stairs? That booty thicc (only thing I really like about that outfit) 

-Girl has a zipper down her butt. She can unzip her ass cheeks

-I’m glad the jewelry in this movie is no longer plastic like Ben’s ring and his burger king crown

-“You’ll what? Marry them?” OK I am not a big fan of the plot or Audrey’s temper tantrum but  if that isn’t the best fucking burn in this whole franchise then idk what is

-gUYS CELIA IS NOT THE ACTRESS SHE IS SUPPOSE TO BE IN AN ENTIRE MAIN SHOT??? WTF? HOW HAS NO ONE POINTED THIS OUT?? SHE’S A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON WHEN THEY’RE WALKING OUT OF THE GATE TOWARDS THE BARRIER ON THE ISLE AND THEN THE NEXT SHOT IT’S BACK TO THE PROPER ACTRESS. BUT IT’S VERY OBVIOUS

-I AM GAY AS SHIT FOR UMA OK SHE IS ABSOLUTE PEAK AESTHETIC AND I WOULD LET HER CHOKE ME WITH HER BRAIDS 

-I deserve some compensation for my muscles...what does that even mean???

-Are we suppose to know who Hannah is?

-”Says you and that’s suppose to mean someth’n to me?” Ok maybe I’m just a flaming bisexual for Uma but why was that line delivery so smooth

-Audrey is abusing Chad. She threw a glass bowl at him and is literally shoving him around and yelling at him while accusing him of knowing things and not telling her. And it’s played for laughs. Descendants you have a lot of good things that are socially woke but this ain’t it man. Chad may have been a douche but he doesn’t deserve abuse. (rhyme oof)

- Why is Dude advertising that he gives great cuddles? Who is that directed at? Why is that line in there? Alright then

-How is Uma the only one that noticed the massive scratches on the wall and the literal painting slashed in half

-Mkay we get it Audrey you’re evil thanks for the random laugh

-The knight in front of them literally clanged as it moved and it’s RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM how did nobody but Harry see it move. This entire movie is me asking why something happened because honestly so much of it just doesn’t make sense but I still love the movie lmao

-Out numbered 1 to 50? How did this girl graduate lol

-I still say What The Fuck Is Happening every time Mal makes the Knights dance. It’s just the most random, out of the blue thing to do

-Mal literally licks her lip and gives Evie the most sultry look as Evie dips down and is singing the end of Night Falls. I’m not a Mevie shipper but it’s the most bedroom eyes I’ve ever seen

-Evie is an absolute ray of sunshine and deserves all the things

-Harry is genuinely flattered at Evie’s compliment about his accent he starts to smile. Dude acts like a complete player and then gets happy when someone gives him a genuine compliment lol

-Jay and Gil are adorable

-Gil is just adorable on his own

-Doug is in way too comfortable of a position to not have already been on the ground sleeping/resting. Which begs the question of why he was just on the ground sleeping like that

-Doug’s long hair and ponytail and complete lack of style are some of my biggest pet peeves in this movie. He doesn’t just look out of place next to Evie, but next to literally everyone else. He looked pretty good in the last two, why such a drastic change that literally nobody asked for or wanted lol

-I seriously can’t take Evie and Doug seriously in this movie just because of his hair. It’s just so unattractive I’m sorry not sorry

- I do enjoy the sense of urgency and time that the movie has as Mal tries to keep moving. Uma and her being like “just kiss him already” is fun

-They could have shot Audrey looking at them through the scepter in a different way...the way it’s just the same close up shot every time she’s looking at it with her hair blowing in the non-existent wind just adds to how cheesy her whole performance is (not her fault, director and writers fault)

-Mal should have kissed Ben when they reunited. 0 reason not to. She was super worried about him and finally reunited with him and she also LOOKED like she wanted to kiss him. Girl was super into that beard. 

-Leave some room for Jesus lmao 

-I’m just bitter cause the only kiss we get this whole movie is from kinda far away and is short. We’ve also never seen them share a sweet kiss in private- they’re always on display....maybe it’s a kink lol

-Ben and Mal holding hands while trying to sneak around <3

-Sophia’s acting when Evie is upset is on point. This whole scene is one of the only really good ones where everyone is rightfully upset with Mal. 

-Mal has had to sing about her feelings in every movie lmao

-Why...does the dragon look like it has a low frame rate? It looks choppy

-Audrey just, once again, doesn’t look menacing. She’s just like...waving a stick around and making mean faces

-”I owe you an apology” says everyone but...no one actually says “I’m sorry” lol

- Ben is just “aw yiss speak human rights to me baby” at Mal during the engagement party

- Beast: “We can’t do that.” I AGREE

-Taking the barrier down with no screening for the villains is a bad bad bad bad idea but it’s a happy disney universe so everything is fine - ugh

-UNSAFE BRIDGE!!1!!1 I’m waiting for someone to fall off- just once, please

-Mal and Uma jumping up and down when they kmeetis the cutest fucking thing on earth

-Ben needs a different thing to dance in, his suit is so stiff

-Harry and Audrey? Hmmmm I’m not opposed but I’m also not feelin it

-Were those people just...waiting there with an already built dragon?

-Ben likes to hip thrust in every movie, no lie

[uoongs]

[translation] MXTX Interview - TGCF questions

this is rlly for everyone to love hc more TT // split by general/book1, book 3 spoilers, and book 5 spoilers via headings (though all are minor spoilers imo, except for the one in bk 5?)

there’s another question that pertains to TGCF’s comments, which I found interesting but have left out for now because it’s very very long. it’s half translated, so maybe i’ll finish it later

CW: domestic violence, Q.21 suicidal thoughts

the mdzs parts were prev translated here by @bigbadredpanda

original interview here

reposts and translations OK, but pls give credit!! twt @/uooongs, tumblr @uoongs, ig @/duoj1ao

GENERAL / BOOK 1 REFERENCES

Q14. TGCF characters’ heights?

Xie Lian 178cm (but can perfectly seem like 180), Hua Chen 190 (first appearance as a cute fresh youth was 185cm), Jun Wu 191, Feng Xin 188, Mu Qing 188, Mo Shui 189, Shi Wudu 187, Shi Qinxuan 186 (woman form 176), Pei Ming 188, Ling Wen 180, Quan Yizhen 184 (but has a very tall presence), Yin Yu 186 (but miraculously no matter how tall he is it’s hard to notice this person).

PS: Yu Shi [rain master?]’s cow is 150 without standing up

Q17. What was XL doing after his second time getting banished to the human realm? What was HC doing? Why couldn’t he find XL? HC previously swore to not let XL know he’s protecting him, so why did he decide to meet XL again after 800 years?

XL tried doing other jobs, but all didn’t go too well, and would bring sadness/strife to others, so could only collect trash by himself.

HC was looking for him while also working on his skills + earning money, expanding his power, and worked hard to become the strongest dude!

Really, it was because XL’s luck was so terrible and stuck to him so closely that he couldn’t meet HC. Actually, many times they almost saw each other, like in Banyue, and also when XL was Fangxin head priest, but both times they just missed each other. Finally XL ascended by himself and CEO Hua couldn’t contain himself and rushed over.

T/N:

strongest dude: the word here used is “jiahuo” 家伙 which is an informal, sometimes affectionate way of calling someone, kind of like “brat” ? but without the parental figure tone

CEO Hua: 花总 “hua zong” the zong here is used as a suffix of respect, usually used for business partners/ ppl holding business positions

Q18. When they first met again, why did HC not let XL touch him?

Because he loved and respected him. He was scared he’d get too excited and do something wrong. Later, the reason was that sometimes if he thought he made a mistake, like not protecting Dianxia well, he would not let himself touch his idol. Even if he wanted to a lot, he wouldn’t let himself touch, because it’s his own punishment for himself.

Q19. What did XL like doing as a kid? Did he whine like a kid?

He liked going on swings, calligraphy, drawing, reading books most people wouldn’t read, building and knocking over golden toy block houses. Whined a lot, and would insist on sleeping with his parents. So when he stopped whining like that the king didn’t find him as cute.

T/N: the “whine” here is the best English equivalent as far as I know, but perhaps you’re more familiar with the term “aegyo”? lol. Original word is 撒娇 “sa jiao”

Q20. Where did HC’s name and San Lang come from?

Why Hua Cheng, only he himself would know, since names are based on intuition and he didn’t tell me anything. San Lang was firstly because he was actually the third child at home, secondly because he fell during the third lap during the Offering to the Gods parade, thirdly because BLABLABLABLA many reasons to guess. Being the third seme of the novels is also an interesting Easter egg, but that wasn’t the main reason. Just as why Lan Wangji is Lan Er-Gege, or why Qiu Chi is called Si Shao, one can find many fitting explanations in the novel.

T/N:

BLABLABLABLA is actually what appeared in MXTX’s response lol

Qiu Chi 秋迟 is the name of a character (not sure MC or ML) for her next novel, and Si Shao 四少 means fourth, or fourth child/youth ?

“Offering to the Gods ceremony” translation is taken from Sakhyulations translation! https://www.sakhyulations.com/novel/heaven-officials-blessing/chapter-1/ bless them uwu

Q22. Why did HC not have confidence in his looks?

Because he was always told he was ugly, a monster, etc as a kid, so there was a deep “I’m ugly” impression of himself. Later he started suspecting that “maybe I’m kind of good looking”. But before the person he likes the most, he would still instinctively be self-deprecating, and sometimes will wonder if he’s an ugly person.

Q24. Why did XL give himself the surname “Hua”? 

Because he likes flowers, and used to be called the Flower Crown Martial God. Also, in the initial character sketch, when XL was banished he became a flower god, in charge of flowers’ blooming and wilting.

T/N: The word for “wilt”, amazingly, is 花谢 “hua xie” which is HC’s surname + XL’s surname (!!!). Also is the fake name XL used in Banyue, and the surname he gave to HC in the amnesia extra.

Q27. When will edits be made on TGCF?

Edits have already started, and when they’re done they will all be added with an announcement. Because it’s a long process, and because JJ has inconvenient limits on edits, Iwon’t know when. Not sure if it’ll be before or after the fourth novel. Also will depend on novel adaptations (of prev novels) and how the fourth book goes.

Q28. Will there be more extras for TGCF?

I’ve been wanting to write a human realm commoner storybook, a collection of short fairytales.

BOOK 3 SPOILERS

Q15. Where was Hualian’s first time? Does Hua Chen know that Xie Lian made the first move in kissing him in Qiandeng temple?

Huangji temple in Taicang mountain! HC didn’t know at first, but later Huahua teased it out + closely interrogated it out of XL.

Q16. What was the last mural and the lying down sculpture of XL in Wanshengku (hundred thousand-gods temple)?

It was that you know. That.

T/N: papapapapapa

Q21. Why did HC always have bandages on his face as a child? Why did he fall from the building? Why was he always getting bullied but still physically very strong/healthy?

He was always beaten up because his right eye is red. Others thought it was scary, and his face had a lot of scars that had to be covered;

One day he was beaten up so much that he wanted to kill himself, and also he’s a very bratty and petty kid, so when he heard there’s going to be a Offering to the Gods ceremony -- which if went wrong will bring strife to the whole country -- he especially chose that day to ruin the ceremony. As in, “if I’m unlucky and having a hard time, I want this entire country to die with me”. But he ended up climbing up there saw his wife and was shook, so he forgot to kill himself. But because he wanted to see more clearly, wanted to be closer so badly, he accidently fell off. 

He is just very tenaciously surviving! He’s strong like XL, won’t die even after getting beaten up hundreds of times, and forever will be able to hold onto a last breath and crawl back up again to return, against fate.

Q23. What did Mu Qing say when he drove HC away?

MQ just speaks like that...like, you brat are not even useful to Taizi Dianxia, you’ll only weigh him down, the army doesn’t need trash like you, don’t think you actually have talent! etc. Also because in the army the youths’ death rate is actually quite high, so MQ didn’t think he was doing anything wrong in driving HC away.

BOOK 5 SPOILERS

Q25. So is Shi Qinxuan a human now? Will his hands and leg ever recover? If he reincarnated, would he still have a hard life? Is Shi Wudu really gone? What did Mo Shui take the water master’s head for? What did he say to Shi Qinxuan on Moshui island at the end?

SQX is human. He can’t recover, and he doesn’t want to. Heavenly Officials won’t reincarnate. SWD is gone for good. The head was used for an oblation. He didn’t say anything in the end, because SQX was very out of it, so even if he said something SQX wouldn’t be able to understand.

T/N: To refer to SWD MXTX uses 15° (15 degrees) because phonetically it sounds like SWD’s name.

[sergeanttpoliteness]

➹embroidered hearts➹(ps4 peter parker x reader)

Requested by anon➝  hi! idk if you’re taking requests right now, but if you are, do you think you could write something for ps4 peter parker? maybe like a friends to lovers thing. thanks!

You just... really liked to disappear, huh? To vanish, slip from his fingers. Except that this time Peter found you, caught you before you left once again, which may have just been exactly what you needed.

word count: 2.7k

a/n: holy wowowow, this isn’t a false alarm, y’all-- i actually posted! i’m sososo happy i finally did, and i’m really sorry about how long it took me to do so. school drained all my motivation but exams just finished this friday so i decided to get this done once and for all. i’m shocked that i finally liked something i wrote this month, it’s progress (’: anyway, here’s something for 1 pretty boy whom i love very much, i hope the nonnie who requested it likes it! (: also i had a terrible allergy while editing this so if there are any mistakes pls know that it’s hard to write while sneezing every five seconds. hope this week is great for you bc u deserve it, ok, ily that’s it adios (last thing lol, expect some noir stuff next and that beter sequel eye emoji)

Twenty minutes. Twenty minutes since you told him you were going to the bathroom with a wavering smile, and you were nowhere to be seen. Peter set his empty glass of water on the table for the third time— God, he experienced a déjà vu that left him stumped and everything, and as he watched the crystal liquid stream from the pitcher, he could also sense his bladder protesting against all the suffering he kept putting it through. Nonetheless, he simply thanked the waiter for the refill, or else he was sure that if he didn’t continue drowning himself, the disquiet abounding in his system as a result of your unknown whereabouts would strangle him with its unnerving claws. Perhaps the entrance dish bombarded your stomach (if so, then he hoped you were alright), or the toilet devoured you and swallowed you down the drain. Two-year-old him never trusted the porcelain seat, after all (it... was an actual fear of his, actually). However, past all those justifications and silly fears, he knew something wasn’t right, for there existed no chance you’d simply vanish just like that after the anxiety for tonight nearly eroding you alive, and you wouldn’t surrender an opportunity for a promotion... right?

He scanned the party room, through the many dresses and tuxedos either standing by still or swaying together, awkwardness raining over and staining his skin when he recalled he was the last remaining person in the table after everyone else retired to chat with other fancy people. He surely didn’t fit in that category, neither was he acquainted with anyone — he wasn’t even invited, for crying out loud, rather you were the reason for his attendance; still, you weren’t there. He considered possibly checking the bathroom to make sure you seriously hadn’t died, because you weren’t answering any of his calls and... oh, no.

Your boss walked on stage and tapped the microphone, a muffled thud reverberating through the speakers. “Good evening, everyone! I’m glad the night’s been such a lovely one, I hope you’re all having a great time.” The man — Peter couldn’t remember his name, honestly — spoke, a charismatic grin that paraded his astonishing dental care on his face. Though no alluring smile impeded Peter from panicking further or his limbs from driving him out of his chair and into the tight space in between a cluster of intimidating guests, looking identical to a little kid who couldn’t find his parents at the supermarket.

“Where are you, Y/N?” He muttered to himself, a question he’d reiterated in his head far too often for the past seven months. A haze of amazement and disbelief encompassed his brain when you called him to ask to come as his date— all he could do was blink, his throat clogged up and his heart so unbelieving as if you died and had risen from your tomb, but you might as well have and he wouldn’t have even known, because it’s what it seemed following such a tediously long time of dead silence, of not seeing that lopsided grin of yours, of nothing. It should’ve pushed him away, if anything, although how could it? How could his stunned little heart let you go after you’d embroidered yourself into it, sewn the threads, a perennial string that led back to you, the first day you met? And yet you still gripped it closely, unwilling to detach as he desperately dialed your number again, his stomach diving faster down to the Earth’s core whilst your boss’ speech went on and a high-pitched beep rang in his ear. ‘The person you have called is unavailable right now...’ Not a good sign. No, most definitely not.

“However, I’d like to invite on stage a person who we appreciate greatly in the company,” ‘The person you have called is un—’ Peter hung up, over that goddamn message that always appears to torment him, and grimaced as your boss studied the crowd with proud eyes. “Please, a big round of applause for Y/N Y/L/N!”

The room exploded with sophisticated cheering, but it declined gracelessly, the clapping stuttering, fully ceasing when the moments dragged on and no one entered the spotlight. The leader squinted, visibly distressed, brows perplexed as he leaned closer to the lady beside him. “Y/N... did make it tonight, correct?” He whispered too loudly, gossip escalating in the audience. Peter bit his lip, stepping back closer to the exit door until a rough hand clutched his sleeve. 

“Hey, you’re Y/L/N’s boyfriend, right?” An older man with fuming blue eyes and a bald spot questioned, spit flying but thankfully not anywhere near Peter who sputtered, chest warming up when his tongue failed him, became tangled in his mouth.

“Wha... n-no, we’re just friends—”

 “I don’t care. Listen, if that idiot is not here right now then I’m gonna be in deep shit.”

Peter’s brows furrowed with anger, “Hey, shut up, man— Y/N’s not an idiot.” He snapped, but the guy barely flinched and rolled his eyes as he let go of the taller young man. 

“Just do something!” He hissed, equally as bitter and prodding his chest before disappearing into the crowd.

Peter opened the double doors and sped down the hallway straight to the bathrooms with a sour mood; however, before he knocked, a figure outside the window captivated him and calmed his hammering heartbeat. It... couldn’t be you. Why would you be out there? He surveyed the area, and when he saw no sign of another person or any security cameras, he unfastened the window’s lock and slid it open.

Could he have gone outside like a normal human being? Yeah, sure, except that— first — where’s the fun in that, and second, he didn’t want to walk all the way to the other side of the building— it was an emergency, or at least that’s the excuse he’d use if anyone caught him as he landed softly on the grass. It was indeed you, he realized, sat on a bench, observing nothing in particular unless the building under construction across the street held any trace of beauty in your eyes. He stopped a few feet away from you, mouth twitching. “Is this seat taken?”

You almost jumped into space and out of orbit, your neck whipping around, large frightened eyes gradually lightening when they took him in. There it was. That lopsided grin, unchanging from when you were a sophomore in college apart from the darker under eye circles. And there was his own shy smile, too, accompanied by the blush that stained his face, like red wine spilled over a tablecloth. “Yes, actually, by my imaginary friend Pedro.” You patted the area beside you, on the supposed Pedro’s knee, and he sneaked his hands inside his blazer’s pockets, feigning disapproval.

“You exchanged me for a Pedro?”

“He’s a nice guy.” You giggled as he sat down next to you, your stare fixed on your lap. “Let me guess: I messed up the night and that’s why you’re looking for me.” You said, playfulness faltering and insecurity peeking its head in, and he noticed how it sculpted your expression and body language with its discouragement. 

“Not exactly, no. I was still going to look for you, but a jerk who called you an idiot really needed me to do so.” He grumbled, irritation returning as a combo along with remembrance of the incident. You didn’t reach, though; you solely raised your eyebrows, unruffled, your friend more afflicted albeit he wasn’t the one who was called an idiot. 

“A short guy that kinda looks like an odd mix between John Stamos and Danny Devito?” You queried. Peter rebuilt the man’s appearance in his head, and you had to laugh at his raw shock when he recognized the accuracy of your comparison. He... really did look like that, seriously, it’s the most bizarre combination you could think of. “Yeah, that’s Jonathan. We’re not exactly best pals.”

“I kinda figured that out, Stavito didn’t look so happy.” A smile flourished on his countenance as quickly as a match is set alight after you cackled, your hand flying up to your mouth to mute your laughter.

“Stavito? Man, now he’s gonna hate me even more because I’m never gonna stop using that one.” You shook your head, rubbing your crinkled eyes. He hummed, loosening his tie, wearing a crooked grin that you fathomed meant incoming pain for you—

“He’s gonna stab-ito you!”

Jesus Christ. You let out a drawn-out breath and picked up your legs, expression similar to a parent seeing their kid’s report card. “I hate you. This friendship’s on hold until further notice.”

“It was a great pun!”

“Was not.” You objected, although both of your bodies shook with hilarity. He looked at you, the moon painting silver strokes on your tranquil frame, the delight in him for just being by your side too much that his stare lingered; though not for long, for your attention strayed up to him and his eyes immediately shifted down to his hands, his leg restless, bustling.

“Why are you out here? We could’ve left if that’s what you wanted.” He said, brows knitted. You changed to a cross-legged position, rolling your lips.

“I originally was just going to take a five-minute stroll, but once I sat down here, I just couldn’t go back inside.” You confessed, shrugging. Gloom reemerged, drooping the corners of your lips, striking a spike of ice in your gut— the frost trickled up and down your body, goosebumps of sorrow growing over your skin. “I’m sorry I’m such a terrible friend. Jonathan’s right: I am an idiot.” You whispered.

He held in his breath, blank on what to say. “Why would you think that?”

You snorted, expression unamused. “They’re facts, Pete. Good friends don’t just… fall off the face of Earth without a warning.”

“I’m… sure you had your reasons.”

“They weren’t good reasons, though. I should’ve at least told you something. But I bet it was nice to get a break from me, huh?” You joked, hurt and self-doubt seeping through your voice.

He frowned, immediately denying with his head. “Why would I want to get a break from you? Y/N, we don’t even get to see each other that much. If anything, I…” He halted, gulping. “I-I want to see you more.” He admitted quietly.

Your bewilderment was dim but still present as you ran your hand up and down your arm. “You’re dumb. You could spend your time with people who are actually great but you want to spend it with me.”

“Yeah, well, if I am dumb so what? I still wouldn’t change my mind.” He argued, a line in between his brows. You sighed, sliding down the metal seat, your eyes shut as you tilted your head back. 

“Peter, stop, you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I do, though. I mean, yeah, it… it hurt a bit,” Peter raised one shoulder, aware that it hurt more than just ‘a bit’. “I thought you decided to break contact, but it’s okay, really.”

“Give yourself some love, it’s not okay that I hurt you like that.” You momentarily put your hand on his, repentance etched on your features. “You didn’t deserve that.”

“We’re talking again, though, that’s all that matters.” He brushed you off, raising up to his feet. The guilt still held you, played with you like a doll, but the reassuring quirk of the corner of his mouth somewhat relieved it. “We should go back inside, don’t want you catching a cold or Stavito getting fired.”

“He’s not gonna get fired, he’s just way too over dramatic.” You grunted, showing your clear distaste for the John Stamos and Danny Devito love child. Peter lent out his hand but you blinked at it, chuckling uncomfortably. “Don’t you rather stay out a bit more? The sky looks great tonight— I can see a few more stars than usual.” You pointed at the dark blanket of nebulae and astral bodies. He glanced up, close to dropping to the ground to inspect the night sky until he heard the stifled music from the party.

“We can stargaze once the event’s over.” He promised, gesturing with his head to the building. It was then when he distinguished the dread in your eyes.

“...Are you sure you don’t want to do it now? What if it gets too cloudy?”

He narrowed his eyes. “Is everything alright? Why don’t you want to go back in there?”

You tried to utter another excuse, but you couldn’t. The ire at yourself made your hands tremble, set your mouth in a hard line as you were incapable of looking right at him, the humiliation far too much.

“I hate my job.”

Peter sat back down, staring at you, his expression sad. “You know, I spent the entirety of high school and started college with this idea of what I wanted my future to be like. But now that I did it, now that I’m actually there, I’m so… bored with everything. I don’t know what to do. Like, what am I supposed to do now? Go to work and what else? Because if that’s all there is to my life, I don’t know why I should even bother with it.”

“Don’t say that.”

“Peter what am I doing?” You scoffed, scowling. “Look at me: what the hell am I bringing to the world? You’ve got FEAST, and just got that job with Otto Octavius— you’re… so amazing and will do so many great things. The world needs you. I need you. We all do.” You mumbled, voice breaking.

His sight gravitated down to your lonely hand that rested so near to his, that had the string running from his heart encircled around its ring finger, beckoning him closer. His fingers reached out slowly, hesitantly, with great fear. But he wound up grazing your hand, and then he fully wrapped his own around it— around the artist that sewed a handiwork of untouchable adoration into him. “But what if I...” He began, struggling to come clean. “What if I...” He saw your anticipating gaze.

“I need you, too.” He whispered.

Your view averted down to your linked hands and then up at the boy unknowing that he, just like you had to him, had tailored a piece of himself in you long ago. You hugged him. Crumbled, snuggled deep into him, allowing yourself to accept that hand reaching out to you, to surrender to comfort. He hugged you back with as much gentleness and warmth, his chin on top of your head. “You should give yourself some love, too.” He murmured and you let out air through your nose, agreeing with him. “You’ll find your way because you’re incredible, alright? I just wish you could see that.”

Seven months weren’t eons, Peter acknowledged, but perhaps they could be; perhaps they were enough to view everything differently, past that veil that cloaked his eyes, past the doubt and uncertainty, because there was something distinctive in your familiar smile when you pulled away. Something unusual as you sat straight, your eyes drifting sideways to him. “I guess we can help each other with that self-love thing.” You suggested.

He got the hint in your voice, and all of a sudden, he figured out what that something was; but he didn’t want to accept the truth that crashed against him when he realized that it wasn’t new. No, it’d been there all along.

He could try to believe.

“Maybe we could, uh, we could go out for dinner some… some time. Get started with some good food, y’know…” His tone was quiet and he couldn’t have resembled better a nervous teenage boy asking his crush to dance on prom night as he wrinkled his nose in embarrassment.

You faked a cynical expression, despite already knowing the answer in your soul. “Some time?”

“Or never, if that’s what you prefer.” He laughed tensely, his eyes growing wide when he turned his head and cursed at himself internally. You smiled to yourself, moving a strand of hair out of your face.

“How about tonight?”

“Tonight? Like…” He checked his wristband, only to remember it wasn’t a watch. “...tonight? What about the event—”

“Forget the event,” You stood up, and now you were the one stretching out your hand to him. “C’mon, let’s look for some restaurants because why not, am I right?”

Peter clutched your hand, the contentment a welcomed compensation for all those months of not seeing you.

“Yeah, why not?”

[twilightvolt]

My Favorite Anime OPs and EDs from 2010-2019

No one asked for this, but i’m doin’ it anyway cuz there’s so many songs out there that i’ve never heard anyone talk about. like, y’all sleep on Yu-Gi-Oh! apparently. lmao

Going by release year, here’s all the OPs and EDs i can remember that i luv (and still do to this day). i may or may not have gotten all the years right. hell, i’m not even sure i got the OP and ED numbers right.

It’ll go by: Song Name - Artist (Name of Anime and Which OP/ED it is) an asterisk means i REALLY like it above the rest.

Hopefully this’ll help introduce you to some new jams you missed out on! ^  ^

2010

Going My Way! ~Road to Tomorrow~ - Masaaki Endoh (Yu-Gi-Oh! 5Ds OP5)*

Close to You - ALvino (Yu-Gi-Oh! 5Ds ED4)

Future Colors - Plastic Tree (Yu-Gi-Oh! 5Ds ED5)

Gravity 0 - Aqua Timez (Star Driver OP)*

Never Give Up! - Sonar Pocket (Digimon Xros Wars OP)*

Period - Chemistry (Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood OP4)*

Rain - SID (Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood OP5)* THE. FEELS.

Uragiri no Yuuyake - THEATRE BROOK (Durarara!! OP)* Y’all remember this one? Lmao

Trust Me - Yuya Matsushita (Durarara!! ED)

Ice Cream Syndrome - Sukima Switch (Pokemon Zoroark: Master of Illusions ED)*

My Soul, Your Beats! - Lia (Angel Beats OP) WAIT HOLD ON, ANGEL BEATS WAS THIS DECADE? I THOUGHT THAT WAS 2009 OR SOMETHING. DAHEQ?

ChAngE - Miwa (BLEACH OP12)

Calling - FLOW (Heroman ED)*

SHIVER - the GazettE (Black Butler II OP)

2011

Samurai Heart (Some Like it Hot!) - SPYAIR (Gintama ED17)* And on this day I realized….SPYAIR is lit.

New World - Twill (Digimon Xros Wars OP2)

Masterpiece - Mihimaru GT (Yu-Gi-Oh! ZEXAL OP)

Boku Quest - Golden Bomber (Yu-Gi-Oh! ZEXAL ED)* I luv watching the actual ending sequence. It fits my cyber aesthetic to a T.

BRAVING! - KANAN (Yu-Gi-Oh! ZEXAL OP2)

Setsubou no Freesia (Longing Freesia) - Daizystripper (Yu-Gi-Oh! ZEXAL ED2)* I’ll be completely honest, this song has been my favorite anime theme over most, if not all others, ever since. It’s kinda held a special place in my heart as it’s got memories of what transpired during 2012 that i don’t think i’ll ever forget. From the summer trip we took down south to me creating my very first OCs, Takuya and his Charmander partner Drake, on paper, i’ll luv this song with all my heart. ^  ^

Lovers - 7!! (Seven Oops) (Naruto Shippuden OP)

Counter Identity - UNISON SQUARE GARDEN (Soul Eater Repeat Show OP)*

Ai Ga Hoshii Yo - Shion Tsuji (Soul Eater Repeat Show OP2)* WANTCHU WANTCHU, I WANT CHUU~

SHINING STAR - 9nine (Star Driver OP2)*

Crossover - 9nine (Star Driver ED2)

Sky's the Limit - Shihoko Hirata (Persona 4 the Animation OP)

We’re Not Alone - coldrain (Rainbow Nisha Rokubou no Shichinin OP)

One Reason - Fade (Deadman Wonderland OP) I can bet you right now half of y’all forgot about this show. I mean i did. Lol

Mayonaka no Orchestra - Aqua Timez (Naruto Shippuden ED16)

Hacking to the Gate - Kanako Itou (Steins;Gate OP)* THIS SONG CLEARED MY SKIN AND RAISED MY GRADES.

Ranbu no Melody - SID (BLEACH OP13)* That main chorus tho. N o i c e .

LISTEN TO THE STEREO!! - GOING UNDERGROUND (Katekyo Hitman Reborn OP8)*

Core Pride - UVERworld (Blue Exorcist OP)

2012

Mask - Aqua Timez (BLEACH ED30?)

Soul Drive - Color Bottle (Yu-Gi-Oh! ZEXAL OP3)*

Wild Child - Moumoon (Yu-Gi-Oh! ZEXAL ED3)* Whenever I hear this song, I either think of school shenanigans or, if school isn't a thing in their world, a high school AU. Lmao

Unbreakable Heart - Hideaki Takatori (Yu-Gi-Oh! ZEXAL OP4)

Artist - Vistlip (Yu-Gi-Oh! ZEXAL ED4)*

Stand By Me - Stereopony (Eureka Seven AO ED)* Ok I know some people don't wanna remember AO, but hear me out here. Lmao 

Brave Blue - FLOW (Eureka Seven AO OP2)*

Key Plus Words - Shihoko Hirata & Yumi Kawamura (Persona 4 the Animation OP2)

Harukaze - SCANDAL (BLEACH OP15)*

Crossing Field - LiSA (Sword Art Online OP) I like making SAO jokes as much as the next guy, but let's be real here. Crossing Field was still a pretty good song.

STAND UP! - Twill (Digimon Xros Wars Hunters OP)* Hunters sucked, but the OP slaps.

Kyomu Densen - ALI PROJECT (Another OP) This show gave me a temporary fear of umbrellas, but this OP is good.

Complication - ROOKiEZ is PUNK’D (Durarara!! OP2)

Light My Fire - KOTOKO (Shakugan no Shana III Final OP)

Mite Mite Kochichi - Memoiro Clover Z (Pokemon Best Wishes ED3)

2013

Dualism of Mirrors - Petite Milady (Yu-Gi-Oh! ZEXAL OP5)

GO WAY GO WAY - FoZZtone (Yu-Gi-Oh! ZEXAL ED5)

Challenge the GAME - REDMAN (Yu-Gi-Oh! ZEXAL ED6)* I swear to god, this should’ve been the final OP rather than Wonder Wings. I really don’t like that song.

Oh, and if you wanna hear more of the lead singer's voice, he's the lead singer of GIRUGAMESH. They didn't do any anime songs while they were still active afaik, but totally check it out if you like J-Rock.

Sakura Mitsutsuki & Genjyou Destruction - SPYAIR (Gintama OP13 and Gintama: The Final Chapter OP)*

After Cherry Blossoms (all quartets lead to the?) - UNISON SQUARE GARDEN (Yozakura Quartet: Hana no Uta OP)*

Non-Fiction Compass - UNISON SQUARE GARDEN (Yozakura Quartet: Tsuki ni Naku OP)

Sayonara Memory - 7!! (Seven Oops) (Naruto Shippuden ED)

BLOODY STREAM - Coda (Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Battle tendency OP)* I mean, how could i NOT put this song on here? Lmao

Be An Arrow! - Rica Matsumoto (Pokemon Best Wishes! OP2)

Natsumeku Sakamichi (Summerly Slope) - Daisuke (Pokemon Best Wishes DA! OP)* While the Black & White series was absolutely terrible, I can thank it for spawning some nice OPs.

Egao - Ikimono-gakari (Pokemon Genesect and the Legend Awakened ED)

Take Your Way - Livetune adding Fukase (From SEKAI NO OWARI) (Devil Survivor 2 the Animation OP)* I swear I will never get tired of this song.

Be - Song Riders (Devil Survivor 2 the Animation ED)*

Watashi no Bara wo Kaminasai - ALI PROJECT (Rozen Maiden 2013 OP)

Moshimo - Daisuke (Naruto Shippuden OP)

Burn My Dread ~Spring of Birth~ & More Than One Heart - Yumi Kawamura (Persona 3 the Movie #1 Spring of Birth OP and ED)*

Eden - Aqua Timez (Magi: the Kingdom of Magic ED)*

Out of Control - Nothing’s Carved in Stone (Psycho Pass OP2)*

HERO -Kibou no Uta- - FLOW (Dragon Ball Z: Battle of Gods ED)

2014

Silhouette - KANA BOON (Naruto Shippuden OP16)* Everyone rise for the weeb national anthem.

BelievexBelieve - Bulletrain (Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V OP)

ENAMEL - SID (Black Butler: Book of Circus OP)

Masayume Chasing - BoA (Fairy Tail OP15)

STRIKE BACK - BACK-ON (Fairy Tail OP16)*

Burn! - Bulletrain (Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V OP2)

DAYxDAY - BLUE ENCOUNT (Gintama OP)* Before Polaris, there was this. lol

Goya no Machiawase - Hello Sleepwalkers (Noragami OP)* I swear Noragami has great taste in OPs. lmao

Fate is in Our Hands - Lotus Juice (Persona 3 the Movie #2 Midsummer Knight's Dream OP)* Y'all know Lotus Juice makes EVERYTHING badass.

One Hand, One Heartbeat - Yumi Kawamura (Persona 3 the Movie #2 Midsummer Knight's Dream ED)* I swear I literally feel like crying every time I hear this song. It's just that powerful.

Unravel - TK from Ling Tosite Sigure (Tokyo Ghoul OP) Ok, lemme explain. I used to hate this song cuz I thought TK's singing voice was whiny as hell. But after a long, LOOOOONG time, it finally started to grow on me. I think it's because of all the song covers I've listened to and, after understanding the meaning behind the lyrics, I appreciate this song a bit more nowadays. 

V (VOLT) and MEGA V (MEGA VOLT) - Yusuke (Pokemon XY OPs 1&2)*

daze - Jin ft. MARiA from GARNiDELiA (Mekakucity Actors OP)

Monochrome - Dancing Dolls (Soul Eater NOT! OP)

2015

Saigo Made ii - Aqua Timez (Gintama ED15 i think?)

Kyouran Hey Kids! - THE ORAL CIGARETTES (Noragami Aragoto OP)* IN THIS HOUSE, WE JUST WANNA HOLD YOUR HAAAAAAND~

Getta Ban Ban (Mad-Paced Getter) - Tomohisa Sako (Pokemon XY OP3)*

XY&Z - Rica Matsumoto (Pokemon XY&Z OP)*

Raise Your Flag - MAN WITH A MISSION (Gundam Iron Blooded Orphans OP)*

Hello, World! - BUMP OF CHICKEN (Kekkai Sensen OP)*

Sugar Song and Bitter Step AKA the song everyone makes fan animated parodies of it’s opening sequence - UNISON SQUARE GARDEN (Kekkai Sensen ED)

Kirifuda (Trump Card) - Cinema Staff (Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V OP4)

Speaking - MRS. GREEN APPLE (Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V ED4)* before Great Escape from Attack on Titan and Inferno from Fire Force, there was this OP and ED. both of which i feel are better songs. lmao

Tweedia - Rei Yasuda (Pokemon Hoopa and the Clash of Ages ED)*

Diver - KANA-BOON (The Last: Naruto the Movie ED)*

Butter-Fly 2015 - Kouji Wada (Digimon Adventure Tri. OP)

Sono Chi no Kioku ~End of the World~ - JO☆STARS ~TOMMY, Coda, JIN~ (Jojo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders OP2)

Lapis Lazuli - Eir Aoi (Arslan Senki ED)*

Clattanoia - OxT (Overlord OP)*

L.L.L. - MYTH & ROID (Overlord ED)

Nazo 2015 - La PomPon (Detective Conan OP41)* Hearing this brought back memories of hearing the original during my childhood back when Cased Closed was still a thing.

Just Fly Away - EDGE of LIFE (Gundam Build Fighters Try OP2)

Flyers - BRADIO (Death Parade OP) Like Another, this was one of those where i wouldn’t have touched the show itself if my anime club didn’t watch it.

X.U. - Hiroyuki Sawano (Seraph of the End OP)*

Hikari - ViViD (Magi: the Kingdom of Magic OP2)

2016

DiVE!! - Amatsuki (Digimon Universe: Applimonsters OP)*

Ai - Ami Wajima (Digimon Universe: Applimonsters ED2)

The Day - Porno Graffitti (My Hero Academia OP)

HEROES - Brian the Sun (My Hero academia ED)

RAGE OF DUST - SPYAIR (Gundam Iron Blooded Orphans OP2)*

Believe in Myself - EDGE of LIFE (Fairy Tail OP21)*

CRAZY NOISY BIZARRE TOWN - THE DU (Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Diamond is Unbreakable OP)

Chase - batta (Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Diamond is Unbreakable OP2)* Screw the haters. This song is a bop.

Great Days - Karen Aoki & Daisuke Hasegawa (Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Diamond is Unbreakable OP3) As you can see, i luv all of Jojo Part 4’s OPs. lmao

Kaze no Uta - FLOW (Tales of Zestiria the X OP)* Zestiria may have been the most uninteresting experience i’ve had in the Tales series, but at least it’s OPs are straight fire.

Dream Lantern, ZenZenZense, Sparkle and Nandemonaiya - RADWIMPS (Various themes from Your Name) I'm still miffed that they didn't kiss at the end. >:v

Re:Re: - ASIAN KUNGFU GENERATION (Erased OP)

Brave Shine - Aimer (Fate/Stay Night Unlimited Blade Works OP)*

Starting Over - Mr. Children (The Boy and the Beast ED)* Mamoru Hosoda never ceases to make me smile and/or cry, huh?

GO - BUMP OF CHICKEN (GRANBLUE FANTASY the Animation OP)

KINGS - angela (K Project OP) i don’t even know how i remembered this one. I watched K at my local anime club years ago cuz one of my friends suggested it. I barely remember what it was about, though. ^  ^’

Vision - Kusou Linkai (Yu-Gi-Oh ARC-V ED5)

Light of Hope - Unknown Number (Yu-Gi-Oh ARC-V OP5)

Pendulum Beat! - SUPER DRAGON (Yu-Gi-Oh ARC-V OP6)*

2017

Peace Sign - Kenshi Yonezu (My Hero Academia OP2)* SURE IT’S POPULAR, BUT IT’S POPULAR FOR A REASON.

Datte Atashi no Hero - LiSA (My Hero Academia ED3)

Little Pi - Ange☆Reve (Digimon Universe: Applimonsters ED3)

Perfect World - Traffic Light (Digimon Universe: Applimonsters ED4)*

With the Wind - Hiroaki “TOMMY” Tominaga (Yu-Gi-Oh! VRAINS OP)* I’ll be honest, this one took some getting used to, but now i luv it!

Fake Town Baby - UNISON SQUARE GARDEN (Kekkai Sensen and Beyond OP)

Tonari Au - THE ORAL CIGARETTES (Sakurada Reset ED)*

Rain - SEKAI NO OWARI (Mary and the Witch's Flower ED)* I really liked the movie and I just luved the fantasy vibes given off by the instrumentals in this song.

Baton Road - KANA BOON (Boruto: Naruto Next Generations OP)* Y'all say Boruto is trash, but at least the theme songs still boppin'.

Boku wa Hashiri Tsuzukeru - Melofloat (Boruto: Naruto Next Generations ED3)

FEED THE FIRE - coldrain (King’s Game OP)* Thank you Fire Force for introducing me to this wonderful band. ;w;

2018

PAiNT it BLACK - BiSH (Black Clover OP2)* Never thought I'd ever find a band actually named bish. Lmao

Black Rover - Vickeblanka (Black Clover OP3)

Guess Who is Back - Kumi Koda (Black Clover OP4)* Now, if this ain't a bop fit for a triumphant return like "SURPRISE BISH I'M BACK." then idk what is. Lmao

Gamushara & Tenge Tenjou - Miyuna (Black Clover OP&ED5)* i’m mainly referring to Gamushara, but i luv Tenge Tenjou too.

ODD FUTURE - UVERworld (My Hero Academia OP4)*

Make my story - Lenny code fiction (My Hero Academia OP5)*

The Future is Now - Straightener (Digimon ReArise OP)* Yes, I know I'm cheating cuz it's a video game, but it's an opening sequence much like an anime, so yeah.

Breath - Porno Graffitti (Pokemon the Power of Us ED)

Katharsis - TK from Ling Tosite Sigure (Tokyo Ghoul OP3?)*

Here - JUNNA (The Ancient Magus Bride OP)

Renai Circulation - Kana Hanazawa (Bakemonogatari OP4) Imma be honest, i found this song through those Coldplay mashups and other memes. Lmao

I Wanna Be - SPYAIR (Gintama Shirogane no Tamashii Hen OP)

Hana Ichi Monme - BURNOUT SYNDROMES (Gintama Shirogane no Tamashii Hen ED)*

2019

Hana ga Saku Michi - THE CHARM PARK (Black Clover ED7)* I SWEAR NO ONE’S COVERED THIS SONG YET AND I’M SAD. I LUV THIS SONG.

Inferno - MRS. GREEN APPLE (Fire Force OP)

Veil - Keina Suda (Fire Force ED)* This ED gives me feels and i luv it. ;w;

MAYDAY - coldrain (Fire Force OP2)* This sounds like a song i’d hear at Hot Topic and i feel blessed. lmao

Nounai - Lenny code fiction (Fire Force ED2) I swear this anime doesn’t have a single song i don’t like. I’m not kidding. lmao

WILD SIDE - ALI (BEASTARS OP)* IN THIS HOUSE, WE DO NOT SKIP THIS OPENING I STG.

Le Zoo - YURiKA (BEASTARS ED)

Nemureru Honou (Sleeping Instincts) - YURiKA (BEASTARS ED2)*

Kawaki no Ameku - Minami (Domestic Na Kanojo OP)

Polaris - BLUE ENCOUNT (My Hero Academia OP6)* THIS IS THE BIGGEST BOP SINCE PEACE SIGN OML

Touch Off - UVERworld (The Promised Neverland OP)* This show was too creepy for me to continue, but I luv it for what it is. Also NAA NANANANANANAA NANANAAAA~

Sangenshoku - PELICAN FANCLUB (Dr. Stone OP2)* Sorry, but Good Morning World didn’t totally do it for me. I luv this OP way more tbh.

Suisou - Megumi Nakajima (Hoshiai no Sora OP)* The bits before the chorus are just so good.

1•2•3 - After the Rain (Pocket Monsters 2019 OP)

Dark Crow - MAN WITH A MISSION (Vinland Saga OP2)

MOTOR CITY - Kenichi Asai (No Guns Life OP)

Game Over - DATS (No Guns Life ED)

[seriouslycromulent]

MCU’s Captain Marvel - Thoughts, review & more

I’m off to see DC’s latest superhero reincarnation Shazam later today, but I wanted to make sure I captured my thoughts on the MCU’s last superhero outing, Captain Marvel, so I don’t get my feedback crossed. 

I know I’ve said in the past that I’ve been a bit burned out when it comes to comic book movie (CBM) adaptations, but there are a few here and there that still catch my eye, and essentially I’ve boiled it down to: “Does this genuinely pique my interest?” 

Now, I wasn’t too interested in Captain Marvel based on the trailers and didn’t plan to see it, but I struck a deal with my Mom. (Backstory: She and my stepfather go to see all the superhero movies because, hello!, they’re the nerds that nurtured this Big Nerd. Seriously, I started reading comic books because of them, and my geekery just grew and grew. I rely on them often to fact check the fandom details most comic book nerds on Tumblr claim to be authorities on. And yes, their 40+ years of comic book knowledge and expertise puts most of you to shame.)

With that said, she wasn’t very interested in Shazam. She said it looks like they’re aiming for a kids-only audience, and that made it kind of m’eh to her. But I said I would go see it because I’m a Zachary Levi fan. Billy Batson’s OK, but for me, it’s the casting of Zach that piqued my interest. So the deal was that she would see Captain Marvel and tell me if she thought I’d like it. And I’d see Shazam and do the same for her. Based on her commentary, I went to see CM, and now I’m returning the favor.

That was the intro. 

Now, here’s the set-up.

If you’ve read anything related to the CBM-world here on my Tumblr, you know that I am a supporter of the DCEU, X-Men and the MCU, but I go hardest for the DC universe. You’ll also know if you stop by often that my point-of-view rarely matches up with the popular perspective within the fandom world, in general, or in the fandom communities, specifically.

But unlike some (dare I say, many), I never want to harsh anyone’s squee! If you loved something that I didn’t. Bless you. Live in that love, and pay me no mind. I have no desire to rain on anyone’s parade simply because I don’t land on the same conclusion regarding comic book characters or their feature film adaptations. I don’t think less of you, hate you, or even care if you don’t agree with me. If you do, that’s cool. If not, that’s cool too. 

But before I jump into my mini-review of Captain Marvel, allow me to prepare you for how I roll. Here are some examples of where I landed after watching many, but not all, of the films from the MCU, DCEU, X-Men, Deadpool, and Spiderman franchises. I repeat, I rarely share the popular perspective or take on a CBM as the masses. You have been warned.

I enjoyed Ant Man and the sequel. If they made a third film, I’d see it.

Logan is a brilliant masterpiece, and I would change absolutely nothing about it.

Although I’ve never been a big fan of origin stories because they’re typically written like the audience is simple and can’t appreciate anything beyond the most cookie-cutter of plots and a paint-by-numbers of good and evil characters, I enjoyed Sam Raimi’s first film of the Spiderman franchise the most when it comes to comic book adaptation origin stories. So far, he’s still the person to beat in this category.

I enjoy most of the X-Men films, but often find the changes they make to the characters unnecessary and poorly executed. I also want Bryan Singer to leave the Summers boys alone. 

I found the Wonder Woman film completely underwhelming. Why? See my #3 regarding origin stories.

I enjoyed Black Panther, but was not really wowed by it.

I enjoyed both Deadpool films, but I still think his character is highly overrated by male fans. I like the movies for what they are. They don’t really say anything. You’re just meant to “Ooh!” and “Aah!” and LOL! Then go home. I can respect that.

I thought Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice was brilliant, and easily one of the best comic book-based films of the last 20 years. That film is a work of art, and I’m saddened that Zach Snyder’s vision wasn’t appreciated and respected by the studio. Even if the mainstream public thinks that comic book movies should be light and fluffy with virtually no connection to any messages of substance or strong characterization, the studio should have respected his vision and let him complete it with Justice League.

I liked The Avengers and I thought Age of Ultron was pretty decent, but I felt that Civil War was a mess of poor characterization, weak execution, absurd conclusions, unresolved tension, and a dispensable villain unworthy of the audience’s time. Literally everything the mainstream public and MCU fanboys (and fangirls) complained about Batman v Superman applies to Civil War, not to BvS. Civil War was the film that was rushed, and it shows.

I have virtually no interest at all in the main storyline of the MCU anymore. I don’t care about Thanos. I didn’t see Infinity War, and I don’t really plan to see Endgame. Yes, I’m aware of certain events happening regarding specific characters. Still don’t care. The run-up to this final showdown with Thanos was so poorly done and underwhelming that I have no emotional investment in this fight anymore. 

Now, if you’re still reading, I want to say thank you for sticking around and ... welcome to my brain. Since this post is already long, let’s dive into Captain Marvel.

I saw the film twice. So that right there should tell you I enjoyed it. Yet, the weekend it came out, apparently, a bunch of fanboys and a handful of critics took to their keyboards and YouTube channels to review it and cry disappointment. Ultimately, I didn’t care too much because, again, it didn’t really pique my interest. 

Then my Mom told me what she thought about the film and how it was the antithesis of what the fanboys and reviewers were claiming, and this ... is what actually piqued my interest. I love a good mystery, and I felt as if I needed to see the film for myself to not only see what the hubbub was about, but to also determine who was wrong/right. 

So I saw it the following Tuesday after its opening weekend. And I walked out feeling as if the MCU had finally grown up.

What I liked

The 1990s nostalgia without the 1990s “nostalgia.” That is, the language, the clothes, the tech, the venues, etc. were all great throwbacks to this oddly romanticized decade without any of the romanticizing. As someone who was a teen throughout the ‘90s, and remembers it somewhat differently than others, I appreciate that. Respect.

Maria Rambeau. She is a best friend who gets to shine and enjoy the spotlight in her own way. She also has dark skin and short hair. (Yes, it matters.) But more importantly, Maria Rambeau isn’t a sidekick. Instead, she is the best friend everyone dreams of. Not only is she smart, fearless, and a badass behind the controls of a space-worthy fighter jet, but she’s also not judgmental. I don’t know many people who wouldn’t have some residual anger over being made to believe their ace boon was dead for 6 years, then one day just knocks on your door and say “What’s up? I’m not sure who I am.”

The villain-turned-not-so-bad-after-all Talos, played to perfection by Ben Mendelssohn, has the best one-liners and reaction shots in the film. Also, we get aliens with a variety of accents, character depth, and families. 

Despite the fact that the passengers on the light rail/subway car saw the “old lady” could handle herself in a fight, the surrounding passengers did get involved to try and pull Danvers off of the old lady because, from a common sense perspective, this young woman should not have been trying to beat the hell out of an old woman. Kudos to them for trying to do the right thing.

I’m scared of Ms. Monica and her guilting her Mom to fly with Danvers, Fury and Talos on a life-endangering mission. When she said, “Just think about what kind of example you are setting for your daughter if you don’t go?” I was like, “No, she did not!”

The perfect subversion of the “prove to me you can beat me without weapons” gag at the end. Not only because it means that Yon-Rogg (Jude Law’s character) might show up in later films, but because that trope is sooooooo annoying. Plus, we all know she’s stronger, so why bother?

There’s some subtle commentary about the treatment of refugees as terrorists or enemies of the people by the same people who made them refugees in the first place. I would like to think that commentary is intentional, but that may be asking for too much.

What I didn’t care for

The CGI on Phil Coulson’s face. Um, yeah. That was not good. It would seem they spent more time on getting Samuel L. Jackson’s face just right so he could look believably younger, but then they ran out of time to do the same for Clark Gregg.

The CGI they used on Annette Bening’s face is ... not great in some scenes. Not all. Just some.

Why does Danvers sitting down with Fury in the bar for a Q&A about their past provide proof that they’re not Skrull? If the Skrull can’t adsorb distant memories, then this Q&A would only fill you with confidence to trust the other person if you actually know the other person. Danvers didn’t know Fury before that day, and he didn’t know her. Sitting there and answering questions only lays the groundwork to determine if they’re not Skrull later, but it shouldn’t provide proof that they can trust that the other isn’t a Skrull at that very moment. Also, how does Fury know that the Skrull can’t shoot blasts from their hands? He’s just going to take her word for it? Although given he was told by his “boss” to stay close to her and find out what she knows, I could see this as him simply playing along for the sake of his mission.

I’m not really buying this imaginary world where a black woman in the military is taking the time to keep her hair straightened while flying jets and working on special aircraft missions. However, I will suspend disbelief this time due to the fact that Rambeau was working on a top secret project and therefore was not necessarily hindered by the typical schedule of the average fighter pilot. ... This time.

I wished we could have seen more of Gemma Chan. Yeah, Minn-Erva’s a bad guy, but ... it’s Gemma Chan. I already had fanfiction theories playing in my head about her relationship with Yon-Rogg before I left the theater.

What I loved

We go on a journey with this character. We learn about her as she learns about herself, which is what keeps us invested beyond the “she’s going to be Captain Marvel by the end of the movie, obvs.” idea. This is an origin story done in a far more interesting and captivating way than anything presented in the Marvel cinematic universe since Iron Man. We get flashbacks to the most unassuming events of her life that later turn out to be the most important ones. Where others complained about this approach to an origin story, I wholeheartedly applaud it. Nothing in CA: The First Avenger, Thor or Ant Man was as clever or interesting as this angle when it comes to introducing a superhero’s origin.

I don’t want a flurkin. But at the same time, I want a flurkin.

Having a villain who turns out not to be a villain, and a mentor who turns out to be our actual villain, was to me another sign that the MCU has finally realized that complexity isn’t a bad thing and not every story must have a one-note single-purpose villain. Yes, we get a little bit of that in Ronan (Lee Pace’s character), but to lead the audience down this road where not all the information you receive can be immediately trusted suits me just fine. It’s realistic and engaging. Danvers’ confusion mimics our confusion, but not so much that we can’t enjoy the story. We don’t have it all figured out and determined who has the moral high-ground until she does. I love that. And as a writer myself, I respect that. 

I love, love, loved the 1990s songs in this movie. Not only because the songs reminded me of my adolescence and you can never go wrong with Garbage’s “Only Happy When It Rains,” but because No Doubt’s “I’m Just A Girl” is THE perfect song for the big showdown between Danvers and her former Kree brethren. I almost jumped out of my seat in excitement when I heard that music intro. Kudos to whomever made this soundtrack! 

There is no love story. Unless you count the love between 2 best friends/family being reunited, there’s no love story. Thank you.

When I first started watching the film, I had to scratch my head. I thought, “Since when are the Kree good guys?” After watching every season of Agents of Shield and knowing how it’s the Kree who leave mankind dangling on by a thread, manipulating them, torturing them, and turning them into their own little ant farm, my brain had to pause and question this version of the Marvel universe where Danvers is a Kree. But as the story continues, of course, we’re led on this journey where we learn 1) I was right not to trust the Kree as good guys, 2) there are some Kree who are good and Dr. Mar-vell is one of them, and 3) the MCU is capable of writing stories where character development isn’t sacrificed just for laughs and boss fights. See what I mean about growing up?

I think that’s it for now. This review is already long enough, and I’m sure I could discuss more details about the film if I had more time. Yes, I am aware of the mainstream critic and fandom backlash against the film. I’ve heard some of the complaints, and frankly, I struggle to find the justification for them anywhere in the film.

I read one critic complained saying that because the audience doesn’t know who Danvers is from the beginning, she’s hard to root for or identify with. I disagree. The audience learns as Danvers learns. And by the end of the film, it’s clear that what matters most about her is not her name or where she’s from, but what she does with her power. Personally, that’s a great message to everyone when you think about it. 

I’m also aware that a lot of the fandom backlash has been ... how do you say ... male-driven. I think that’s unfortunate given that Captain Marvel is the MCU’s first female-led superhero movie and it’s long overdue. I don’t know if CM is flawless (I doubt it), but I know I enjoyed it as much as (and in a lot cases, more than) the other superhero origin MCU films. The message was great and the character relatable. 

No, I’m not saying everyone can relate to a human-turned-all-powerful-superhero by a blast that should have killed her, but we can all relate to understanding that it doesn’t matter how many times we are knocked down, what matters is how many times we stand back up. 

I’m not usually one for the hokey, after-school special messaging that a lot of MCU films (and DCtv shows) push, but that message about what makes her a hero (the standing up after getting knocked down) seems just as powerful as the message behind what makes Steve Rogers a hero (it’s not the special serum, but the fact he was willing to die for his countrymen in battle). I’m not sure how Danvers’ story is less worthwhile than Rogers’ story.

As for fanboys saying the studio should have just made a film about Natasha/Black Widow, it’s statements like that that make others wonder if your dissatisfaction with Captain Marvel isn’t rooted in misogyny. You would rather watch an origin film about a female team member on an already predominantly-male team where she plays a role, but is in no way as strong or as powerful enough to go toe-to-toe with most of the team members. Hmmm? 

Hear how that sounds? There’s nothing wrong with liking Natasha. She’s the bomb. But again, making a film about Black Widow instead of Danvers, leaves the Avengers with one less female character, and one less character who can kick ass and take names with the big boys. The fanboys -- whether intentional or not -- have painted themselves as afraid of Captain Marvel’s strength and the power she has to be actually considered an equal to the other members of the team.

Perhaps if they said the MCU should’ve made a standalone or origin film about the Scarlet Witch, the misogyny wouldn’t be as glaring.

I don’t know. I’ll leave that argument for others for now. I’m heading out to movies now. Shazam here I come!

[jzeeeeeeeee]

Game of Thrones 8.06 Series Finale Recap and Review

THE NIGHT IS DARK AND FULL OF SPOILERS

This should be kind of obvious but I'll be discussing the final episode of Game of Thrones here so if you're not caught up don't read this unless you want to be spoiled!

CITY OF ASHES

Tyrion walks us into the episode, literally, walking through the ashes of King's Landing, closely followed by Jon and Davos. Ash is everywhere, still raining down, floating in the air like snow. I can only imagine the smell, if the scent from piles of burning dead outside Winterfell was bad this must be a thousand times worse considering they've always said how bad the city smelled to begin with... The horror on Tyrion's face is evident and surely echoes our own, as he walks by dead children and a near-naked burnt man stumbling out of the ruined city looking truly shellshocked. Tyrion tells Jon he wants to go on alone and heads for the destroyed Red Keep. Jon and co. run into Grey Worm and the Unsullied sentencing some Lannister soldiers to death in Dani's name and under her orders. Jon tries to tell Grey Worm that the war is over and the enemy soldiers are prisoners now, pleading for their lives. But the overwhelming loss must have had a hollowing effect on Grey Worm, emptying him of every last fuck he had to give. It almost comes to blood between Grey Worm/the Unsullied and Jon/random Northmen but Davos intercedes, quickly urging Jon to go speak with Dani directly. As Jon walks away, Grey Worm goes back to slitting throats of Lannister men like it's nothing, as if to show Jon how truly empty his fuck-tank was.

Back to Tyrion, walking around the remains of the Red Keep. He follows the steps down just like he told Jaime and sees the gigantic mountain of rubble covering the exit he had described. He starts digging through the rubble and finds jaime's gold hand. Digging further he uncovers both his siblings, dead on each other's arms. The music is haunting, a slow violin rendition of Rains of Castamere. This scene was picture perfect in it's tragedy, the bricks washing all color out of the scene save for the Lannisters. I might not have liked the way Cersei's end came or Jaime's middle finger to his redemption arc but seeing Tyrion kneeling there crying over them definitely gave me the feels.

PLAZA OF PRIDE

Arya walks past dead bodies and ruins out into the square in front of the Red Keep where the mysterious remaining half of the Dothraki are riding around on their horses, cheering and raising their arakhs in the air. We switch to follow Jon who's walking past the Dothraki and Unsullied towards massive, imposing steps of what is apparently left of the Red Keep. It makes me think of the Mayan Temple of the Sun, draped with a truly ginormous Targaryen banner. Jon looks at Grey Worm when he gets to the top of the stairs like "this is not handicap accessible". Just kidding, Jon looks at Grey Worm like he's gone as bonkers as his Queen. Dani and Drogon come flying in overhead and land somewhere behind the ruined Keep. Drogon's wings behind Dani stretch out and fold as she comes walking into the foreground. The sight is truly amazing and I've watched that part alone a hundred times. This is a powerful leader with men fiercely loyal to her returning victorious, no longer that little girl in Essos constantly on the run from assassins. There's a nice juxtaposition of the Unsullied lined up with precision thumping their spears in perfect unison, while the Dothraki are in a frenzy behind their orderly rows, practically doing wheelies on their horses as Dani delivers her victory speech.

Ok let's just stop and appreciate this character for a minute. Let's just imagine going through what she went through, it truly must feel like destiny, step by step bringer her closer to madness, all that power she has. She has a huge dragon that is closely bonded to her, she's the Unburnt not just a Khaleesi, not just a Queen. She's conquered before, and liberated before. When a character is too OP you just know they can't last... Remember the speech she gave when she named the entire khalasar her bloodriders? These men watched her walk out of fire, TWICE, unharmed. Who wouldn't kneel? They must think her a goddess! Grey Worm is devoted utterly because he was freed by Dani and he controls the Unsullied. The naming as Master of War, a great boon to him I'm sure, leader of ALL her forces now. He's still covered in the blood of dead Lannister soldiers as he steps forward to accept the nomination.

Danaerys speaks passionately, fervently as any champion of fire would. I could practically see flames dancing in her eyes as she talks of liberating the people of King's Landing. The show told me she's going crazy so I guess she must be. Jon's eyes when she starts talking about liberating the entire world... But it seems Tyrion agrees with me and in a fit of pique and anguish he casts off his Hand of the Queen pin to the ground. Dani commands the guards to take Tyrion and he locks eyes with Jon as he's walked off, with this "Your girl done gone nuts bro" face.

Arya catches up with Jon on the steps, urging him to see that Dani is a killer and he's in danger from her since she knows his true heritage. I like how he's surprised to see her, asking for its the audience what she's doing there in the first place. He doesn't even question the fact she came to kill Cersei and walks off to go find Tyrion's cell.

BROKEN THINGS

Jon and Tyrion discuss what happened and Jon can't deny what Dani did was wrong but he's trying to justify it by naming all the things she lost along the way to madness. Tyrion reiterates what Arya was saying, that Jon's life is at risk because of his claim to the throne. Jon actually rolls his eyes before sitting down to take it all in. It seems like Tyron admits he had feelings for Dani here, saying he loved her though not as successfully as Jon did. He walks Jon by the hand to the idea that she's the biggest threat to the people, especially his sisters. He lays a choice at Jon's feet, knowing that only Jon has the chance to bring this to an end.

Jon leaves to go find Dani in the Keep. Drogon is stretched outside like the largest cat ever, briefly getting up to see who's disturbing his rest but let's Jon go by without even a puff of smoke. Dani's walking through the ruined throne room, stretching out her hand to the Iron Throne she's sought after for all these years, touching the arm briefly. The ruins of the throne room and the snow-like ash in the air are the payoff from the vision she had in Qaarth's House of the Undying. She's contemplative, making a meta comment about the throne being made of a thousand blades from Aegon's fallen enemies. This is a sort of dig because the throne GRRM had described and imagined was more like the one she does here. Jon comes in to rain on her parade, angry about the Unsullied executing Lannister soldiers along with the thousands of dead and burned children outside. He seems to be giving her one last chance, begging with her to see reason. As she says her final words about building a new world and breaking the wheel I'm heartbroken because I know what's coming next without anyone telling me. "Be with me. Build the new world with me. This is our reason, since you were a little boy with a bastard's name and I was a little girl that couldn't count to 20. We do it together. We break the wheel together." He kisses her passionately this time, "You are my Queen, now and always", not breaking away like he did at Winterfell and Dragonstone, and I know the instant the knife goes in her heart he's sobbing and so am I. It's like she had plot armor her entire life... until today.

THE IRON THRONE

Jon lays Dani's body down on the ground and suddenly Drogon's there, sensing something wrong with his mother. He nudges her with his head but she's gone, and the sadness that pours out of him is an echo of my own seeing her tragic story at an end. This girl had been on this path since her birth, freeing slaves, serving justice to those who deserved it and I'm supposed to believe right at the end she decides to kill all the innocent people she came to save. Ok fine I'll go along with it for now since we're on mega fast forward this season and maybe I just missed all the subtle steps on the way to Dani's madness. Back to Drogon... He's so full of anguish he let's out a few huge bursts of fire, melting the Iron Throne down to slag. The scene was awesome in the true meaning of the word but I'm a little confused why Drogon would understand the meaning of such an act. And why didn't Jon move out of the way more? He has a weird thing with facing dragons I guess, maybe he planned on yelling at Drogon like he did to his brother. The scene ends after Drogon snatches up Dani's body in one claw and flies away, never to be seen again.

Tyrion awakes, finding his buddy Grey Worm at the door. He's led out to the Dragonpit where the Lords and Ladies of Westeros (🤷) are waiting. I have no idea what kind of time has passed but guessing from Tyrion's hair it's been a few weeks since Dani's death. Sansa demands to know where Jon is but Grey Worm insists they are in control of the city and it's prisoners. Sansa doubles down letting him know King's Landing is surrounded by Northmen. Yara makes some threat about Jon getting killed by the Unsullied but Arya comes right back at her saying she'll slit her throat lol. I think it's right around here everything becomes a bit hokey to me. After some back and forth with Grey Worm about the fate of Jon Snow, Tyrion suggests they choose a king or queen (who will ultimately be in charge of that fate). That Tully dude, Lord of the Riverlands gets up to make a speech (maybe to make a play as king?) but Sansa shoots him down by asking him to just sit, be a good boy, and drink his bottled water. Sam suggests a type of democracy system where everyone gets a say and they all just laugh at him. Just like everyone imagined, Tyrion reveals Jon is the heir to the Throne and they all live happily ever after. Wait no, actually he walks around and talks about how stories hold the world together and Bran should be King. What in the ever-loving fuck? Who has a better story than a man who came back from the dead only to find he was not a bastard at all but the heir to the Iron Throne????!!! Ok I get that he killed Dani so that's a stain on his honor but he did it to save the whole damn world. He didn't want to rule but neither did Bran! Tyrion proposes kingship to Bran in a way that sounds like a marriage proposal from the realm. Then Bran shows more emotion than he has in the past 2 seasons, he smiled a little and says "Why do you think I came all this way?" Huh? Well I had thought it was to help defeat the Night King and the White Walkers but fine I'll go along with that too I guess... I thought for a hot second he'd say "I am Groot". Sansa declares independence for the North after we get a round of "ayes" from all the other Westerosi Lords and Ladies in favor of Bran the Broken as king. I face palm but on my 3rd or 4th rewatch I see that Tyrion's cleverness did shine through one last time. He knew that giving Jon to the Unsullied would mean more war, knew Jon didn't want the throne anyway, knew that the puzzle needed solving and I suppose he did it. Jon would go to the Wall and serve a life sentence in the Night's Watch as a compromise, apparently to keep everyone from getting what they want. We see Tyrion meet briefly with Jon to explain this and he's as baffled as I am there's even a Night's Watch left. What are they watching? Season one?

A DREAM OF SPRING

Another time jump of unknown proportions and Jon is getting on a boat, headed for the Wall. He sees Grey Worm on another ship about to set sail for Naath where I can only assume he'll die from butterfly poison trying to protect Missandei's people. As Jon rounds a corner he sees Bran, Arya and Sansa are there to see him off. Hugs all around, Sansa apologizes to Jon and I can't help but think it's forced, Arya will sail West of Westeros. When Jon kneels in front of Bran saying, "Your Grace" I'm still wondering what his Targ ancestry had to do with anything and why Bran thought it was so important for him to know. The last of the Starks are going to go on their separate paths again, but hey they won the Game.

We next get a cute scene of Brienne writing Jaime's deeds in the White Book, meaning she's the Lord Commander now. This part is uber meme-able, particularly when she makes faces trying to think of good deeds to write. After a few creative truths she closes the book without writing anything about how he saved the people of King's Landing from being burned alive with wildfire. This scene also shows us Bran the Broken has taken a raven for his sigil, it's now prominent on Brienne's Kingsguard armor.

We go next back to Tyrion, the Keep mended enough to have a small council meeting in the old spot he's meticulously rearranging the chairs. Sam, now Grandmaester, brings in a book called a Song of Ice and Fire, very Hobbit of him, setting it in front of Tyrion. The rest of the small council files in, Bronn as Lord of Highgarden and Master of Coin, Davos as Master of Ships, and Brienne the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard. Bran is wheeled in just for a minute so we can hear they're missing a few officers and see Sir Podrick is in charge of pushing his chair around now, making an ambiguous comment about finding Drogon just before leaving the running of the kingdom to the council (please give me a sequel of just that!). The scene ends with Tyrion starting his famous jackass/brothel joke but we never get the punchline.

NORTH OF THE WALL

Jon arrives at the Wall, which has been repaired with wooden gates. Then the most well-done cutting of scenes together happens as we bounce between Arya getting ready for her journey west, Jon's arrival and subsequent leaving of the Wall, and Sansa's coronation as Queen of the North. We see Jon moving through the wildlings and finally, FINALLY, he pets Ghost. Arya's on a ship with a huge Stark wolf on the sails. Sansa is at Winterfell newly crowned. It all ends kind of how it started, with Jon on his horse walking north into the woods, wildlings on foot following him into the future. The scene evokes a sense of adventure unknown and reminds me of the first scenes from the pilot where we first saw the wights and Walkers in action but instead of death it's life moving through these woods now.

UPS AND DOWNS

So my main reason for breaking this all down was because I've been asked over and over what I thought of this episode. Many of you know I'm passionate about this show and even now that's it's over I'm sure I'll rewatch it many, many times again, season by season. In fact, this will probably be the first blog entry I have in "Watching Thrones Backwards; maybe it makes more sense this way?"

That being said I feel like this ending was really perfect for what they set out to do. A show based on a book series is always difficult, and Thrones lost access to the written word once the show moved past the books. I've read every single book and felt that more character development could've been done here in Seasons 7 and 8, both of which would've been better with more episodes. It felt rushed without those extra moments this story deserved but instead we got what we got. And what we got in the last episode was amazing for this series, beautifully produced, imagery leaps and bounds ahead of anything else on television, well-acted, even if not always well-written.

The biggest criticism I have was that the dive into Dani's madness was too abrupt, and such a huge deviation from her character. But her last words will haunt me for all of time. "We will break the wheel together." And they did. Jon's act was a sacrifice for both of them and gave rise to the new system of electing leaders.

Time was also my enemy in this episode, I know that it opens pretty soon after the last one because there's still fires burning but as we go through it I felt less and less certain where we were on the timeline. At the Dragonpit scene Robin Aryn was much taller, does that mean years have gone by or mere weeks? Years of Unsullied occupancy in King's Landing doesn't make sense to me but ok whatever. And at the end stuff was kind of fixed like in the Red Keep and at the wall so that must've been years certainly! But Sansa was just getting crowned so did they really wait all that time to do it? I guess I'll need to wait for GRRM to help me clear that up, hopefully in my lifetime.

My other problem was that everything was getting tied up with pretty little bows, basically going down the list and checking off all the weird bets people were making online. I could've easily told you Arya would head west of Westeros, Sam would name that book a Song of Ice and Fire, and that Tyrion would never finish his joke on screen. I say "was" though because I'd rather have all these things tied up neatly than a lot of wtf moments. We had enough of those watching this series, and this being the last episode it truly was "bittersweet" so seeing storylines get sewn shut was much nicer after I had time to really think about it all. I'm over a dozen times through this episode now and it's held up amazingly well to rewatch.

Even with all the negative criticism I absolutely loved this episode. Each scene in this final episode looked incredible, Jaime and Cersei dead in each other's arms, the dragon wings behind Dani at the Keep, Drogon melting the Throne, even Jon walking off into the woods at the end. Cinematically it was successful, thematically maybe a little less so. But it made sense in a way the Dexter or Lost finales never will. Dany succeeded in the end with breaking the wheel - Shakespearean tragedy at its finest, Tyrion is for all intents and purposes ruling as Hand, Arya stopped killing everyone, Sansa's a queen in her own right, Bran is probably warging into Drogon somewhere off screen flying about and Jon pet Ghost. Team Stark FTW I give it a solid 9 out of 10!

*Picture credits to HBO Game of Thrones*

[aki-chan2014]

And So It Begins playlist

imiSome of you might know that I started a new DanganRonpa fic called ‘And So It Begins’, which happens to be an SYOC. A lot of songs have inspired my writing of it so far, as well as some of my planning, so I figured I may as well begin a playlist of sort. It is a work in progress, so more songs will be added over time, and the links (put in the song name) to the videos will also only be put in as and when I can. But yeah, I hope you enjoy: (Quick note 11/11: I have also decided to add some quick notes next to certain songs to explain why they have been chosen for the playlist, where I did have specific things in mind for them. If anyone else has interpretations of how certain songs relate I’d be all for sticking those in here too-with credits, of course)

Mafumafu-Keep Out

Fantastic Youth- DAYBREAK FRONTLINE (rap arrange ver) (This song is for the happier moments in the story, particualrly those between the whole group/ larger parts of the group, and any moments that, in a different story, would have simply been carefree and youthful. Also check out this dance version, as I will be making an Ending Song chapter based on it)

Nuyuri ft flower-Proto Disco (This song is meant to be reflective of how the characters are descending down a dark path in the choices they make and the events that draw them closer to creating a killing game.)

HENSHIN ft GUMI- One Moment’s Crime (This song can relate somewhat to the system Hope’s Peak has in this story. It is also the ‘opening song’ for the story, as you may have noticed)

THE SIXTH LIE- HIBANA

Eve-Dramaturgy

Jonas Blue ft Jack and Jack-Rise (This one is about the rebellion aspects of the story)

Police Piccadilly ft Miku Hatsune-Separate (This song is meant to relate to certain pairs and possibly trios in this story, and the bittersweetness of the fact they have developed such closeness in such bad circumstances. I’d say I have Mizuki and Mokomichi in mind particularly here, but it could easily apply to others too. This is also the first ED song of the story)

Do As Infinity-Kenshin no Kemono

Foreground Eclipse-When Innocence is Just a Mask (This one is definitely also about the rebellion aspects of the story, but perhaps at a later stage of the story, where some characters may be more fatalistic about it. When they are further down the rabbit hole, so to speak.)

Natsushiro Takaaki-Endroll (also check out this chorus cover done by CATINABOX for round 2 of the Ascencion Chorus Battle 2019-my personal headcanon is that Reirei’s voice is like Emiko’s singing voice)

brave elements-Bakudan Ma (cover)

Zutto Mayonaka de ii no ni-Humanoid

Wowaka-Unknown Mother Goose

Luschka-Moratorium (This song is related to the remorse some people might feel from being involved, wondering if they’d ever be forgiven)

Sayuri x MY FIRST STORY-Reimei

Dima Lancaster ft BrokeN-Feed the Fire (cover) This one is definitely related to the point of the story where everything gets awful and there’s no turning back

ONE OK ROCK-We Are (This song can relate in some ways to how some characters see themselves as doing something good in the situation. Also a song for how they may have started off feeling when setting off on this endeavour, or the general feelings of Reserve Course oppression. )

AmaLee-Again (English Cover) (This song could link to some relationships within the story)

Cepheid ft Un3h-Chronos (this one is about feeling helpless about the situation, and how some characters are having regrets about it)

Minstrel-Fiction

AViVA-Blame it on the kids

Hanatan-Niwaka Ame

Misumi ft flower and Miku Hatsune-FAKE (see also this cover)

Dean Lewis-Waves

nameless-Toumei Elegy (cover)

HarryP- 泥中に咲く(blooming in the mud)

MurasagiYT-Little Parade (English Cover)

DECO*27 ft Miku Hatsune-Otome Dissection

Three Days Grace-Riot (Thanks to tobi-is-an-artist-too for this one. I am sure the reason for it’s inclusion is self explanatory lol)

Yunosuke ft Miku Hatsune-Spiral

2NE1-Come Back Home (Japanese unplugged ver)

Tears of Today-Corregret

Zutto Mayonake de ii no ni-mabushii DNA dake

Pizuya’s Cell X Barrage Am Ring ft Meramipop -my temperature is zero degrees

Rupert Pope and John Robertson ft Isla Meller-Coming Round

After the Rain (Soraru x Mafumafu)-yuudachi (evening rain) (this one could relate to some of the character dynamics between certain pairings, particularly between cast members and some side characters as the relationships become more distant/deteriorating. It can also relate to the feeling some characters might have at their youth slowly slipping away as the story continues)

ONE OK ROCK-Mighty Long Fall

Akiakane-FlashBack (I am planning to use this for a second OP song chapter at some point ^.^, and the actual PV of the song will inspire the sequence I write for that. Also, this is such a good song about falling apart and grief and betrayal so it fits really well with later events)

*Luna ft  來 -Epilogue (Also check out the chorus cover done by EncripT for round 1 of the Ascencion Chorus Battle 2019. Anyway, this one is about being able to make one’s own choices and how the idea of doing this has served as a motivation for some characters)

Fractured Light Music-These Final Words

Fractured Light Music-We Dream of Stars

Fractured Light Music-Goodbye

Ludovico Einaudi- I Giorni

Eve-Yamiyo

Tokyo Teddy Bear English Chorus Cover

YURRY-CANON ft GUMI-Humanly

Eve-This World To You (For the bittersweet moments and the bereavement)

CYPHER-Redmoon (another one for the rebellion themes, and also the theme of doing something that you cannot go back from)

Misumi ft Hatsune Miku-Weird Beast

chorus cover of ‘Bolero’

Zutto Mayonaka de ii no ni-Seigi (justice)

After the Rain (Soraru x Mafumafu)-The equation for the beginning of love (a particular couple relationship is what I have in mind with this song, because the song characters are sweet awkward dorks and so are the characters of the couple)

Fantastic Youth-Mairieux (acoustic arrange)

Nathan Wagner-Innocence (because well, they will end up losing it, won’t they?)

Fantastic Youth-I thought I was an angel (cover and rap arrange) (Kinda self explanatory-they started out trying to do the right thing, thinking they were the ‘angels’ in this. Of course, they aren’t really, are they?)

Jayn-With Love (for the slightly more supportive/positive aspects of various character relationships, both platonic and romantic) UVERworld-Touch Off Dasu x Ensou ft Len Kagamine-Jet Ammo

Memai Siren-Ajisai

Crusher-P ft Miku Hatsune-Propaganda! (both about the elitism of Hope’s Peak and how they’re trying to present this very particular image, and also how dangerously close-knit the cast get)

ALEXANDROS-Pray (There’s a lot of cases of characters wanting to help each other, and not knowing how. So this song is about that, and those particular relationships)

FELT-Until Tomorrow

MAN WITH A MISSION-Remember Me

Aron Wright-How You’ll Be Remembered

JubyPhonic- Häagen-Dazs Ika no Sappuukei (English Cover) (This inspired the scene with Keiko on the roof in Party Time, part 1. I guess this could be a song for the main event of Preparation/Party Time in general)

BRAVES ft Nikki Reed-World’s On Fire

Fantastic Youth-Totemo Suteki Na Rokugatsu Deshita (cover)

Wolpis Kater-1% (Melon soda no hoshizora wo)

Studio Yuraki-Mukanjyo(English cover) (this fits with the themes of the story so well in general)

Misumi ft Hatsune Miku -Alter Ego (there’s something about the darkness of Misumi songs that fit so well with ASIB aaaaa)

chorus cover of ‘0verf10w’

Raon Lee X KOBASOLO-Philosophy of Adversity

chorus over of ‘Yankee Boy Yankee Girl’ 

Eve x Rib-Lear

Pizuya’s Cell-Midnight Liberty

Studio Yuraki-MAYDAY (cover)

Mitei no Hanashi-Drown in the Night

YOASOBI-Racing into the Night (check out this group cover too)

Fantastic Youth cover of no title

chorus cover of Los!Los!Los!

Sou-Mr Fixer

Techniken ft Lollia and Sohly-Make Me, Hate Me

Eve - ‘Love & Destroy’ (cover ver-originally by Mi8k ft GUMI) There are a fair few good covers of this really, but I picked this one because Eve.

FUZI x Neru ft Luschka and Mas Kimura-Optimi2er

Chorus cover of ‘RENEGADE’ (come on, tell me this isn’t a Shino song. Or even an Emiko song, for that matter. I dare you.)

SYND!CATE-In The Elegy (a chorus cover mash-up of ‘In the End and ‘愛迷エレジー ‘. Yes, really.)

Nathan Wagner-New Horizon

Neru ft Len and Rin Kagamine-Becoming Potatoes

Wild Fire- Everybody Knows (cover)  (about the elitism, obvs)

Harry-P- 徒花の涙

Ivy Adara-Rebels

GRIMES- We Appreciate Power (feat Hana)

Opening song for ‘Get Even’ (BBC drama)

THE BINARY- 花に雨を、君に歌を

MILGRAM-Undercover

Mafumafu- 悔やむと書いてミライ

Sou’s cover of ‘Penguin’s Detour’

HANDEAD ANTHEM-Why Not?

MARETU- ドクハク  (The link leads to a dance cover because why not? But this one would link to the more violent events and mindsets that develop over the story)

Stray Kids-District 9

KIRA-RISE UP NATION (Quite a few of the cast could be seen as misfits in some way, and they are all for causing trouble and making changes)

*Luna ft GUMI-Black Out Stray Kids- SLUMP (English Ver) (Deteriorating relationships of all sorts, and the emotional conflict that some of the characters are going through especially as they realise that they are at the point of no return.)

Red-The War We Made (Well, it’s more or less a war anyway)

Citizen Soldier-Hope It Haunts You (I’ll let you all theorise over this one lol) Citizen Soldier-Would Anyone Care? (Suggested by PainX65, as fitting certain characters, moments and even Hope’s Peak’s actions over the story)

Eve-How to Eat Life

MYTH&ROID-Remembrance (Goes without saying that Remembrance is in a way one of the stronger motives behind what our cast are doing, in a macabre way)

No Resolve-What You Deserve

Nine Lashes-Guilty Hands (They all have them)

Nathan Wagner cover of ‘The Kill’

Mako Niina-Sensen no Realism (The implications/consequences of what they are all doing hitting them)

After the Rain-Kono Yubi Tomare

Mashiro cover of ‘That Summer Saturates’ (the heady fallout of being involved in a crime with friends, and the general intensity of adolesence, and how the two combine)

chorus cover of ‘Nocturnal Creatures’

Fumiko Uchimura-Dotte Koto Nai Sympathy

[avicebro]

The Dioscuri

OK hello everyone today we’re gonna talk about my namesake: Pollux.

Or more specifically, we’re gonna talk about the Pollux and Castor, or as they’re known, the Dioskouroi.

Their Birth

There are a couple of things that need to happen for a Greek Hero to be considered a ‘hero’. First, they need to be a demi-god. Secondly, they have to be a son (so even though Helen is a demi-goddess, she isn’t a hero – sorry honey). And third, they need to have an interesting story surrounding their birth. And boy is theirs a little weird.

So, back in Ancient Greece, during the times of Bronze Age kings, there was a beautiful queen named Leda. She’s happily married to King Tyndareus, the king of Sparta (aka why Helen is sometimes referred to as Helen of Sparta).

One day, she’s down bathing, as you do, and Zeus up in the heavens spots her. As the #1 baby daddy of Ancient Greece, he thinks, yeah, I wanna fuck this woman. But how to do it? As we’ve seen before, Zeus likes to fuck in style (raining down in gold coins, carrying them away on a bull, etc.), so he decides that the way he’s gonna fuck Leda is as a swan.

Yes, a swan.

Somehow Leda is seduced by an actual fucking swan and so they have sex. Side note, this is a very prominent theme in Roman art. I guess the Romans liked making art of swan-fucking. I don’t know.

Then, later on that day, Leda returns to King Tyndareus and fucks him too. How lovely. And as divine seed must take root, Leda becomes pregnant.

When she finally gives birth, she lays 2 eggs. Out of these eggs springs the four children: Helen, Polydeuces, Clytemnestra and Castor.

There are variants on the next part but bear with me: out of the 4 kids that Leda gives birth to, which ones are immortal and which ones are mortal are debated.

For the sisters, it’s pretty much known that Helen is the daughter of Zeus, and that is why she is the most beautiful woman on Earth. Whether or not Clytemnestra is the daughter of Zeus or Tyndareus is questioned, but since Clytemnestra is known as being the ‘attractive, but not as much as Helen’ sister, I like to think that she’s Tyndareus’ daughter.

For the Dioscuri, it can either be that both of them are mortal, or one of them is immortal. If one is immortal, then it is always Pollux, with Castor being the mortal one. This suggests that Pollux is the son of Zeus, while Castor was the son of Tyndareus.

In art, if you see them with those skull-caps, it’s because it’s supposed to hark back to the fact that they were born from an egg.

Also, just a tidbit: Castor means, “to excel, to shine”, while Pollux means “too sweet.”

Theseus is an asshole: part 3

This might be rude but I despise Theseus and he deserves hate.

So, Pollux and Castor grow up, doing a bunch of cool shit. They participate in the hunt of the Calydonian boar (the event Atalante wins). Eventually, like Atalante, they join the Argo and do a bunch of cool shit there too. The most important tidbit for those two during that time is that Pollux wins a boxing competition, which solidifies him as the patron of boxing. When Jason and the Argonauts return to Jason’s home, they help him destroy the city as well. Thanks, guys.

But I dislike Theseus so we’re gonna spend more time talking about one of the hundreds of reasons why you should hate him.

So, by this point Theseus has successfully survived the yearly Cretan “Sacrifice an Athenian to the Minotaur” event, deserted the woman he promised he would marry on an island, and made his father commit suicide. Oh, and he did 6 labours too because hey everyone’s gotta be a reference to Heracles.

(Yeah, Theseus is an asshole).

So now, bored as fuck, Theseus decides that he and his buddy, Pirithous, should pick some brides for themselves. Theseus and Pirithous have done basically a bunch of dick-measuring contests by this point so they’re best friends and what better way to pass some time than steal some girls. And since they are sons of Poseidon and Zeus respectively, they decide, yeah, we’re gonna marry daughters of Zeus.

So, Theseus decides that he wants to marry Helen.

Now this is where the timeline is a little messed up because both Theseus and Pirithous were part of the hunt for the Calydonian boar, and some sources would suggest that he was part of the Argonauts, but this doesn’t fit well with another myth of Medea and Theseus, so we’re just going to ignore the time/age logistics.

The problem with Theseus abducting Helen is that she was… a little too young.

Yeah Theseus abducts her when she’s like a young teenager. Since she was too young to marry, Theseus leaves her with his mom while he goes with Pirithous to abduct the woman he’s chosen to be his wife: Persephone.

(That one doesn’t go very well either)

Pollux and Castor learn that their sister has been stolen so they travel to Athens to beat Theseus up but he’s already gone so they just invade the kingdom and steal Theseus’ mom instead (don’t worry she gets returned after the Trojan War). They take Helen and Theseus’ mom and head back to Sparta.

This would not be the end of the Dioscuri and their women stealing ways.

Their Death

Sadly, the most well-known myth of the Dioscuri in Greek Myths is their death. So, let’s talk about that.

Pollux and Castor fall in love with Phoebe and Hilaeria, also known as the Leucippides. Unfortunately, they had already been betrothed to Pollux and Castor’s cousins, Lynceus and Idas. Since that’s supposedly how you get a bride in ancient Greece, the twins abduct the Leucippides and bring them back to Sparta.

This does not go well for them.

Lynceus and Idas decide, in revenge, to go to the Dioscuri’s cattle herd and steal them.

(Glad to see that cattle = your brides dude).

Eventually, the Dioscuri go to their cousin’s place with Helen to party. They decide that this is the perfect time to steal back their cattle and slip out. This leaves Helen to start talking to a dashing young man named Paris.

(so yeah, if the cousins hadn’t been fighting over cattle and women, maybe the trojan war wouldn’t have even happened lol)

The cousins dip out of the party and start heading back to their home. Lynceus, “the lynx”, spots Castor, who had been hiding in a tree as Pollux worked on freeing the cattle, and gets super fucking pissed, as you do. First their brides, now the cattle you had stolen from them in revenge?

Idas sneak attacks Castor, somehow, and fatally wounds him. Pollux, as he is some variant of immortal in this version, quickly makes work of Lynceus. As Idas is about to kill him, daddy Zeus from Mt. Olympus hits him with a lightning bolt, saving Pollux.

(couldn’t have helped Castor. I see)

He rushes back to his dying brother’s side, cradling him in his arms, and pleading to Zeus. As dad was still watching, he gives Pollux the option:

You can either be a sick god with me here on Olympus, or you can share your immortality with Castor.

As they’re tight af, Pollux chooses to share his immortality with his twin. Zeus brings them to the skies, making them a constellation – also known as Gemini, the twins.

(They’re also in the Elysian field? Who knows. Also, Homer says they’re dead in the Iliad but they’re alive in the Odyssey? Homer please.)

The Role of the Dioscuri

As I’ve mentioned above, both twins were known for boxing. They became the patrons of boxing, and thus of athletes and athletic events.

As they were Argonauts, they were also tied to sailing, and they were known for being strong horsemen.

They were from Sparta, where they were idolized as well. As you may know, Ares was the patron god of Sparta, but he wasn’t really, well, liked? So, The Dioscuri were almost elevated to the role of gods there, as they represented the Dual Kings system in Sparta. They have a shrine there, as well as in Athens. They were the creators of war dances and offerings would be given to them.

The pear tree, along with two cross posts with a bar, were used to represent them. Anything with twins? Probably the Dioscuri. They’re known as being blondes with fair skin and being strong built.

Now if you think they were important in Greece?

Rome and How They Really Liked the Dioscuri

I have no idea why the Romans liked the Dioscuri so much. It seems to be just something the southern Romans really liked it a lot? Some suggest that it could be due to a ritual where if a town is defeated, the winners must take their gods? We aren’t so sure.

Anyways, so Rome, when picking what parts of Greek Myth it wanted to keep, really latched onto the Dioscuri, and a la Ovid, made their own tweaks to it.

A temple to Pollux and Castor was built into the Roman forum in Lavinium, in thanks for a victory.

According to the Romans, Pollux and Castor would be in the front of the army, leading them to victory. This makes sense, as Romans were a lot more horse people than the Greeks, and their role as horsemen really does fit a lot better amongst the Romans than the Greeks, who associated horse riding with savages.

Every year on July 15, Romans would hold the Dioskouroi, an event where 1,800 horses were paraded in honour of the twins. The horses would be fully decorated, too.

(Another fun fact: in Roman plays, women would swear to Castor, while the men would swear to Pollux).

Some other random things

In the Percy Jackson books the two sons of Dionysus are named Castor and Pollux. Like the myths, Castor dies.

There is some evidence to suggest that the twins were taken and changed to James son of Zebedee and his brother John in the Bible. Whether or not this is true is up to interpretation. Other saints took over the roles that Pollux and Castor have in Greece and Rome.

The “heavenly twins” trope appears in other Indo-European cycles, like Vedic brother-horsemen the Ashvins, the Lithuanian Ašvieniai, and the Germanic Alcis (which I know nothing about but have fun reading about them!)

[enobullphotography]

Che and I are no strangers to that sound. In fact, no one is! But lucky for us this wasn't the actual police. Soundview is one of those neighborhoods wherein the powers that be feel may need just a little more policing than other areas. (I'm a Bronx native, supporter and lover, so you'll be there all day trying to convince me to use the term "Bad Neighborhood") But nonetheless, it was the neighborhood patrol. So Che and I went to speak to them while Rob was sitting in his car on the lawn! Lol, thinking back on it now, it was a funny scene.

The officer asks us: "What's going on over here? A Photo shoot?"

I respond to him with just enough hesitation to let him recognize I don't have my chest out and I'm willing to cooperate:

"That's exactly what's going on..."

Officer: "Well where are the models? Where's the people? the Permits?" Che: "One model here, on there in the car (points at Rob) myself and my car, and the photographer here."

The officer is obviously torn debating weather to tell us to leave, or let us rock out for a few minutes. But in an unexpected turn of events he asks us

"About how long ya gonna be?"

Eno: "We're just trying to get this car on the court and then we rock out for 20 minutes and we're gone" Che: "25..."

O: "Listen man, I'm supposed to tell ya to leave, but let's do this: I didn't see ya'll and ya'll didn't see me? Coo? Me and Che agreed and complied at the same time "Bet, Cool! Thank You officer!" Before he had his partner drive off he says to us "Listen, like I said I didn't see ya, but if the PD (Police dept.) comes around and see these cars on the court, they gonna tow ya cars!"

So Che asks: "Where is the Police Dept.?

The officer and I both said in unison: "Right around the corner!" Lol.

Che: Got it! The black van drove off and we proceeded guide Rob's car into the park. It took a little more doing than Che's car because the Jag is a little wider than the Benz. But we mad it happen. (I wish I had someone record that whole ordeal--But maybe next time.) Finally we were up on the basketball court... The kids stopped playing for a minute and came and surrounded us as we worked. One asked: "Yo, can we get some pictures of these cars?" I told him "Ask the drivers lil homie, I'm pretty sure they won't have a problem with it" Che and Rob of course agreed and the 3 or 4 kids that were there proceeded to take their phones out and snap away. One said, "It's not everyday you see these come through the hood..."

And that really made me feel great inside, in a very weird way, it made me feel as if we were giving back to the community. Not by actually giving but by showing that we all have the same starting point, and that you don't have to be a rapper, an athlete or a drug dealer to acquire these nice things. Sure enough you can't bring 2 high end sports coupes onto a basketball court in the Bronx without attracting a couple of nosey neighbors lol. at least 5 or 6 other people showed up, one dude even brought his camera and started asking us questions. Another lady asked us if we were rappers and even wanted to take pictures with Che and Rob! Lol.

All in all it was a success. We shot a look and a half in about 35-40 minutes before we heard: "NAH, YA GOTTA GET THESE CARS OFF THE COURT RIGHT NOW! And how did ya even get em in here? I have to know so that I can figure out a way to put a stop to it!" (Crying emoji here) This super cop dude (Same as the neighborhood Patrol dudes that stopped us earlier) literally came out of nowhere and came to rain on our parade... It was also starting to actually rain so he was about 35 minutes too late.

I laughed and I approached him the same way I approached the first officer, I say to him "Hey, how's it going? We're already done, they're gonna change into their other clothes and we're out of here"

He responded with a chuckle and a shake of his head...

"I just wanna know how ya even got them up here man.. Cause I know ya didn't risk those rocks with those nice cars"

So I say to him:

"They're actually DeLoreans, we flew over the fences with em."

We both laughed and then I proceeded to tell him the whole story of how we had to break the bush's branches and hold them back to allow space for the cars to come in once they were up on the sidewalk... He wasn't amused I'd never seen a face that read "I really shouldn't have come to work today" stronger than that one. Turns out he was the supervisor and just so happened to be on his rounds when he drove by and saw the cars on the court. But like I said he was 35 minutes too late, we had already shot what we needed in that location and were ready to go. On the way out he took pics of the cars and I asked if it was ok for me to block the license plates, cause the last thing anyone needs is a ticket for a harmless deed. He agreed and let us out the long way to avoid having to squeeze through rocks and bushes. He was pretty cool, Che didn't get a great vibe from him but it didn't matter, we did what we came to do and we were off satisfied with our work.

With all the hassle we had to go through we thought it'd be foolish not to use the photos we got there to submit to the competition, and so that's what we did! I literally put my all into this edit. I put in about 3 hours collectively making sure every single piece of it was taken care of. I left no stone unturned.

I doubt anyone actually read all of this, but if you did thanks. If you didn't hope you at least like the photos. The first one is the one that was submitted to the contest, the second is another shot from the day! Enjoy guys:

Muse(s): Che (@HouseOfMerlot) & Rob (@Negre.Marron) Photos By: Eno Bull Photography

[phoenix-fire67]

Worst Vaction Ever

I know I don’t normally post anything and last time I did it was because of my boyfriend at the time. This post is similar but it deals with an ex. I honestly need to vent about this so sit back and relax and let me tell you the story of my worst vacation ever.

A little back story first. (2013) I met my ex in the most random way anyone could ever meet. Chatroulette. I know what you’re thinking, and no we were not masturbating. (Lol) I was just looking to chat with random people and I stumbled upon him. He was interested in Twilight and so was I and we hit it off. We exchanged names and suddenly we lost our connection and didn’t think I’d see him again. Luckily I gave him enough info for him to find me on Facebook and we continued talking.

He lives in France so finding a time to talk was hard but we made it work. We were seven hours apart but we Skyped and chatted and eventually started dating. It was pretty intense and got to the point where one of us dropped the “L” bomb. The more we talked the more I realized that this was a dream. He didn’t want to move to the states and I didn’t want to move to France. We decided to break up on good terms and go on with our lives.

Jump over to 2015. My ex becomes friends with my best friend in college and they begin dating. They ask if I’m ok with it and I said yes. Fast forward a couple of months, my friend tells me that my ex (his new boyfriend) is coming to visit and will be staying for a couple of weeks. I never thought that my ex would visit the states but apparently he wanted to see my friend (His new boyfriend). I was ok with this because I had just started a new relationship and he was coming to visit me as well.

Needless to say it was awkward and fun having him here. I saw my ex with my friend and saw him doing all the things I never got to do and had to endure the fact that they were sharing a bed together. A year later after both of our relationships ended we admitted to each other that we were lusting over each other while he was here even though we were both in relationships. We continued to talk on Facebook but we both new where we stood and new what we wanted or didn’t want.

Fast forward again to 2018, my ex messaged me saying that his mandatory vacation was coming up and he no where to go. Me, being single, told him he should visit me in Austin, Tx. He immediately jumped on board and in two days I got my days off approved and he got his ticket. This was so crazy and unexpected but exciting at the same time. I had told him that this would be our opportunity to do everything we never could but always wanted to. He agreed with me and made a list of all the things we could do together (cuddle, hangout, Netflix and chill, etc.) I was so excited and when he arrived, everything changed.

August 9th-21st 2018

He was very aloof when he arrived and I gave him the benefit of the doubt since he just traveled hours on a plane. First day we didn’t do anything. Not even cuddle. The next day I took him sight seeing and showed him where our Pride parade would take place the next day. Again nothing happened that night. No attempts were made either on my part because I was nervous. The next day was Pride and we found him a shirt for the parade and took him to eat. That night we celebrated Pride and were enjoying the gay clubs till 2 in the morning. The next day we stayed in since it began raining real hard and played board games. Again, no attempts by him or I were made. The next day was his birthday and he wanted to go out on a Monday. Of course there was no one there but we still had fun until something I never expected happened.

My roommate and him met some guys who were playing “Smash Bros” and decided to join in. Afterwards, my ex was left talking with one of the guys who was playing and they hit it off. Honestly, I didn’t think much of it because I didn’t think they would see each other again. Boy was I wrong. The next day it was my roommates birthday and we decided to go to the event known as “Tuesgayz” at a club but before going we wanted to pre-game at another friends house. While at the pre-game we decided to play “Kings Cup.” While playing my ex revealed that the guy he met last night was going to be at the club tonight and he knew this because they exchanged information and have been messaging each other since that night. I was the designated driver so I was not drinking as much as them but I knew that I did not want to be a part of this.

I decided to go home instead of going to the club. I knew that he was smitten over this guy and I didn’t want to see it. I didn’t want to have to relive this whole experience again. I didn’t want to see him do all the things that I couldn’t. I made up the excuse that I was not feeling well and he took off to the club with all of my friends. None of them seemed to notice how I was feeling until they asked and I told them to go and not to not let me ruin the night. I went home and decided to just wait up for them. My friends arrived and late in the night after some of them had to much to drink. When I looked around noticed that my ex was not with them. I looked at my phone and my ex left me a message on Facebook: “Hey Oscar, I’m currently at (guys) place. I’m doing fine so you don’t worry okay? I think he’ll drop me off at your place tomorrow. For now, this is where I’m staying:” with a picture of his location.

It’s still a blur but the rage that went into my system was unexplainable. How could he do this to me? Again?!?! How could he think this was ok for me? Giving me all these expectations before you arrive only to have me like a hotel bitch waiting for you?!?!

I was furious with him and decided to punch a wall causing me to injure my hand and begin crying. I couldn’t believe this was happening. This isn’t what was suppose to happen. My roommate managed to calm me down after I almost attempted to pull a “Ronnie” from Jersey Shore and throw all of his belongings out the door. I put my hand on ice and managed to fall asleep in tears.

The next day and the end of my vacation

The next day I woke up early and he was still not here. I was still very upset and hurt over what happened but I attempted to be calm before I said or did anything. My hand was swollen to high heaven but it was minimal pain compare to what I was feeling. I looked at his Facebook and apparently he was awake an hour earlier than me and was doing who knows what. I waited until he arrived and he smiled at me and said hello like nothing was wrong. I told him to meet me in my room once he finishes smoking his cigarette. When he came to my room I sat him down and told him everything. How I felt and what he did with my feelings. I did not scream or yell but I really wanted too. He did apologize and told me that he was not going to repeat what happened ever again and was going to spend our vacation together. I asked him why he gave me expectations but not done anything or tried anything. He said he was scared of ruining our friendship. At hat moment, I knew that that’s what this was. A friendship. He didn’t see me the way I saw him anymore and he didn’t want to go there. I told him to give me some time to rest and think everything through. I spent the whole day in my room while he was in the living room with my roommates. I cried and called my sister and mom. I wanted to leave Austin and be with my sister in Houston or with my mom in Laredo. I couldn’t look at him and I didn’t want to be around my ex. I honestly wanted him to leave but I couldn’t bring the courage to do this.

The next day I decided to talk with him again after spending the whole day thinking what my next move should be. I played multiple scenarios in my head. What if I left? What if I told him to leave? What if? I told him that I just wanted to enjoy my vacation. We both have these days off and we should try to enjoy them. I told him he could stay and that he did not have to change his attitude nor did I expect anything from him. I didn’t want him to be all lovey dovey because he felt he had too. In fact i decided to draw boundaries. We no longer slept in the same bed and I did not do anything with him. I just wanted to get through the rest of my vacation.

On his last day I had mixed emotions. I was hoping he’d say something in regards to what happened but nothing happened. I was hoping to have a movie ending or something but that’s why it only happens in movies and not real life. I dropped him off and gave him a hug and I began crying. I was finally free to feel what I wanted to feel but mostly free from him. I could get closure now. He was always the one that got away. The one that I know could work out and one that I really wanted to have for the rest of my life but now that dream is over. He’s still my friend but just that.

It’s been almost a week since he left and I haven’t talked about what happened with my roommate or any of my friends. I want to move past it and move on with my life. My hand still hurts and every time it hurts I remember what happened but everyday it gets better. And everyday I forget more and more about him and that night.

Anyways, thank you for reading and following me guys. No one likes to hear or read people’s rants but I needed this. I needed to close out this chapter.

I know I don’t talk to my followers but it’d be nice to. Feel free to hit me up any time. :)