#ok maybe not cherubs but just. you get me

[melissa-titanium]

DEAR PEOPLKE WHO LIKE SUPER UNDER RATED CHARCERS. I LOVE YOU IHOPE YOU GET TO EVENTUALLY SEE TONS OF FAN CREATIONS OF THEM AND MAYBE NOTICE OF THEM FROM CANON ANDA NDADN. THEYRE AWESOME ILOVE UNDER RATED CHARACTERS. HGRRRRRRRAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[moonstruckme]

MAE I'm sorry, I thought of another (no pressure at all of course). maybe hot cocoa - send a character + a prompt with Spencer Reid and reunion? Maybe Spencer wasn't supposed to be home in time for the holidays and surprises his love??? AH so cute ok sorry I'll retreat back into my cave now thanks love you byeeee

Never ever be sorry lovely!! Thanks for your request <3

Spencer Reid x fem!reader ♡ 465 words

You set your keys on the counter when you come in, your cheeks tingling pleasantly from the change of the cold wind to your warm home. You’re carrying a small bag of presents which you set down next to your keys before taking off your shoes. It takes you a few seconds to realize something isn’t the way you left it a few hours ago. 

The Christmas tree is lit, its warm glow emanating from the living room and casting hazy shadows on the walls. 

You don’t proceed with as much caution as a woman who’s expected to be alone in her home likely should. You know Spencer and most anyone from his team would crow at you for leaving your mace with your keys by the door; but really, what creature of malintent plugs in the Christmas tree? You find Spencer sleeping on the couch, shoes nowhere to be seen but still in his work clothes. 

The smile that takes you is ginormous. He looks especially lovely. The gentle glow of the lights makes the curves of his face look soft and sweet, cherubic almost, but you’d be just as happy to see him if he were rough and grimy and frowning in his sleep. 

“Spence,” you murmur, crouching beside him. You touch his shoulder gently. “Spencer.” 

His eyes move under his eyelids before they open, settling blearily on you. “Hi.” His voice is rough but tilts up with pleasure. He blinks his way into the world. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to doze off.” 

“Don’t be sorry,” you say, beaming. “What’re you doing here? What about the case?” 

“We, uh…” Spencer sits up, rubbing his face. “We solved it. They haven’t caught the guy yet, but I’m never as helpful with that part as Morgan or JJ anyway. I wanted to be with you.” 

Your cheeks are starting to hurt. You hug him fiercely. It’s awkward and half sideways, but full of more love than you can express. Spencer seems to get it. 

“I know how much Christmas means to you,” he says, folding an arm around your back. “I didn’t want to miss it.” 

Whatever he says, you know how much finishing out a case means to him, too. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you got here,” you offer. “I’d have come home.” 

“That’s okay, I didn’t want you to cut your celebration short.” Spencer’s pinkie sweeps in slow arcs between your shoulder blades. “We’re together now, right?” 

You let him go to take his face in your hands, thumb denting softly into his cheek to make sure he’s really there. “Yeah,” you say, kissing him. “Thanks for coming home, Spence.” 

“Thanks for having me,” he says, a bit awkwardly. His smile when you laugh is the brightest thing in the room. 

[timkontheunsure]

The clocks back theory

Something in this zanny one is plot relevance. (Probably relevant to this season's finale, Sinsmas)

It could be a couple of things, or both. 🙂

Emberlynn's amulet

It could be the Dhorks and cherubs related. But would be funnier if the people writing akuma no otto, the devil' husband, were just using a lot of religious stuff as backstory. (Like Hazbin hotel does. Hey offbrand Charlie).

If Stolas' seal is all that's to summon him, I can see merchants for a show accidentally making holly protection. 😆

Dumb fanfic

Ok, so gist is a someone who previously had a wife stands up against satan to protect their lover.

And Satan is turning up soon, probably in Sinsmas.

Blitz and IMP look to be in trouble in the trailer.

What if they get caught?

We know Andrealphus is plotting something to get all of Stolas' wealth, legions and title. And 'technically' doing this for Stella, Stolas' wife, so she'll get more in the divorce. (Actually doing it so he gets it).

Emberlynn also calls Blitz a demon prince.

Wich makes me think it's foreshadowing Stolas being the one taking a stand for his man. Not Blitz (this time).

There's been a theme this season of Stolas learning to choose, and stand up for what he wants. After failing to do so before last

Like going through with the divorce,

Makeing sure Blitz can manage his business without him,

And setting a boundary of needing space when he's hurt. Something that's really hard do with loved ones.

These are all pieces of rebuilding you have to do after abuse.

This part with the ars goeita, Andy and Vassago, Mammon and Satan all looks to be in the same place.

I'm assuming this meeting is about IMP's illegal use of the grimoire. To show Stolas is too incompetent and unfit for his job.

While Blitz now has a legal method and is under Asmodeus jurisdiction, how much will that help when Ozzie's also very publicly dating an imp?

That might make him seem to biased to help, when Blitz originally was lent the grimoire for sleeping with Stolas.

But why would Mammon be helping here?

Blitz burned down Loo loo land, while IMP were being bodyguards for Stolas. Wonder if hell has a law about being liable for any damage that contractors do?

But I can see Stolas standing up against Satan in the ars goeita council, to keep Blitz and IMP safe.

So why do I think the amulet might come back in?

A lot of people at assuming Andy is going to win this. (Couldn't be arsed to keep putting the full name anymore. And I get a laugh thinking it'd piss the pompous bugger off).

That he'll take everything from Stolas. Money, home, job, grimoire, and probably even Via. 🙁 (Don't think that'll stick as Via is a real daddy's girl).

Stolas without his grimoire would probably be vulnerable to Andy, especially if he's just been dragged by the council.

Thinking this is going to get a call back.

A lot of us have been wondering how Blitz is defending a vulnerable Stolas.

Maybe the strangle looking knife is merchant from the akuma no otto show lol?

(NB I had to do so many double check that I didn't put Santa instead of Satan in this thing. 😅 Heh dyslexic kiddies write Christmas lists to hell lol).

[flower-boi16]

Why Helluva Boss's Villains Suck

So, Helluva Boss is a series with a LOT of villains. The show certainly has a large rogues gallery of them, that's for sure. There's just one thing though; Helluva Boss's villains...suck. And In this post I'm going to explain why.

1. What Makes A Good Villain?

Before I get to why I don't like HB's villains let's first ask a question; what makes a good villain? To me, a good villain could be either of two things; 1) They could be compelling and interesting antagonists; with deeper motivations as to why they do the things they do or why they act that way, a good villain is a villain that's interesting and complex. However, not all villains need to have a lot of depth to be good villains as 2) Sometimes some villains don't need to be super deep or compelling and could just be fun or entertaining to watch. Take villains like Magica De Spell from Ducktales 2017 or any villain from the Disney Renaissance Era; they may not be super deep or compelling characters, but they are still good villains because they are simply fun and entertaining to watch, usually by having a personality to them that makes them a bit goofy while also being a villain you can take seriously due to the threat they may pose to our heroes.

And, generally speaking, a good villain should be able to be semi-competent and pose some kind of threat towards the protagonist, without being incompetent (Unless you writing a villain that's supposed to be dumb like Lord Hater from Wander Over Yonder, but villains like him are usually villains you aren't supposed to take too seriously)

A good antagonist should be a character that poses a threat to the heroes while also being a compelling character in their own right or just being fun and entertaining to watch. So, now that we've established what (in my opinion) makes a good villain, let's now start talking about why HB's villains don't work.

2. My Thoughts on Each Villian in Helluva Boss

Now it's time for me to give my thoughts on each villain in Helluva Boss. Note that I'm only going to include recurring antagonists and I'm going in order of which they all first appeared. Ok, so now, let's begin.

Stella - Stella had some potential to be interesting. Unfortunately, HB squandered that potential and made her a one-dimensional abusive asshole to make Stolas more sympathetic. Not much to say about Stella, she's just a boring one-dimensional asshole.

Veriosika Mayday - Another underdeveloped villain. She's kinda supposed to play into Blitz's whole arc but so far she hasn't gotten much if any development whatsoever. Again, not much to say about her, she's just boring like Stella. Maybe the show will develop her in the future but for now, she's kinda just a one-dimensional basic bitch.

The Cherubs - Don't have much to say about them either. It would have been cool to have them be recurring rivals for the IMPs but nope. Like the other villains, they aren't really that interesting.

Striker - Now...I'm probably going to get hate for this but; Striker is an overrated AF villain. I don't find him that interesting - HOWEVER, I will say he's one of the show's better villains because he's at least kind of menacing in his debut episode. Aside from that he's the "Oh a character that is better than the protag at literally everything who turns out to be the villain!". Ya I don't care for Striker that much - he's fine but I still don't care for him.

The Dhorks - These guys are just stupid. 1) They already had VIDEO EVIDENCE of the IMPs and they FOR SOME FUCKING REASON didn't send it to the government already??? How did they even get the footage of the imps??? And then 2) they also FOR SOME REASON kept on using melee weapons against the IMPs when the episode shows us that they. have. GUNS. Why don't they just use those??? Oh, it's because Edo weapons were more "badass"? These are villains we are suppoused to take semi-seriously, deliberately making them idiots doesn't fucking work. Also 3) Seeing Stars shows that the humans don't recognize the IMPs at all - meaning that, even after obtaining MORE video evidence of the IMPs existing, they STILL just...didn't tell the governments about this for some reason??? Maybe there's an explanation for this in a future episode but for now this is just bullshit! So ya, the dhorks suck, they're boring and just flat out stupid. Least favorite villains in the show so far.

Crimson - Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you...the show's most POINTLESS antagonist. I've already said this multiple times, but why. Literally why. Why did Moxxie need to be the THIRD character with daddy issues? It adds nothing to his character and removing this aspect changes nothing about him - he's the same character without his daddy issues. Crimson literally has nothing interesting about him aside from "abusive dad mob boss". Like all the other villains, he's fucking boring.

So ya, that's my thoughts on each villain in Helluva Boss. As you can see, I don't have very nice things to say about any of them, and if you paid attention to what I was saying about them - you can see one of my major issues with HB's villains. That being...

3. They're Boring

Helluva Boss's villains are just. BORING. A majority of them are very one-dimensional Saturday morning cartoon villains with nothing interesting about them - none of them feel like developed or compelling characters. Granted, as I already said, a villain doesn't need to be super compelling to be good - sometimes a good villain is just one that's fun to watch while still being a good threat to the heroes.

But in order to do that you need to make that villain have a well-fleshed-out personality and mannerisms that make them entertaining to watch. HB's villains don't have that; they aren't compelling nor are they fun to watch, they are just boring. Stella especially is an example of this problem; I've said it before, but there was potential to make Stella an interesting character, but the show chose to waste that in favor of making her a mustache-twirling villain who just likes making Stolass suffer for shits and giggles.

The "I like tormenting you" line especially hammers this in; Stella is just a one-dimensional asshole and nothing else. Again, you don't need to have a character to be super compelling to be a good villain; sometimes you just need them to be fun to watch, but Stella isn't interesting nor is she fun to watch. She's just one-dimensional. Obviously, a character like Stella could work; after all, some stories just like having a villain REVEL in how evil they are like Lord Dominator from Wander Over Yonder, which falls under the "just fun to watch" category, but once again, Stella isn't fun to watch nor is she a compelling or interesting character, she's just boring.

Which is something I can say for all of HB's villains; they aren't compelling or interesting characters nor are they fun and entertaining to watch, they're all just one-dimensional and boring.

Another character I'd like to bring up is Verosika, a character who so far has gotten ZERO development TWO SEASONS IN! Maybe the show will develop Verosika more in the future, but for now there isn't anything about her that's interesting except for MAYBE her past with Blitz, but how the show is going to execute that we'll just have to wait and see.

So Helluva Boss's villains are boring, they aren't compelling characters nor are they fun to watch, now let's move onto my second problem, that being...

4. Some of Them Are Stupid/Incompetent

So a good villain is supposed to be competent, right? Well sometimes an incompetent villain can work; however, it only works when the villain is SUPPOSED to be stupid because they're a villain who you're not supposed to take very seriously. The problem comes when you're supposed to take a villain seriously but they act like idiots to the audience when the story doesn't want us to see them that way.

There are three examples I can think of when I say that sometimes HB's villains are just incompetent at times, those being Striker, The Dhorks, and Crimson. I already talked about the Dhorks here in this post but they're not the only villains that make dumb decisions in the show; Striker does too Western Energy.

For one, when Stolas calls the IMPs for help, Striker for some reason doesn't immediately go and break Stolas's phone when he can HEAR HIM TALKING to them. Instead, he just sits there, letting Stolas notify IMPs that he's in trouble, and THEN takes Stolas's phone. Striker literally could've just smashed Stolas's phone the second he heard Stolas talking - if he did that, then IMP wouldn't have been notified that Stolas has been captured and the episode's plot wouldn't have happened. It's making a villain stupid for the sake of the plot.

And then later in the episode, when he has Stolas tied up on the train tracks, he decides to just... monologue to him? When he could literally just finish Stolas instantly by decapitating him or something, why is he just sitting there doing nothing and stabbing Stolas in random places???

Then there's Crimson, who, for some reason, didn't check to see if Chaz was lying to him. Seriously, if somebody you used to hate went and said "Oh hey I'm rich now", wouldn't you go and check to see if they're lying or not? But Crimson for some reason didn't think to do that, so he just...let himself get scammed because he was too stupid to actually check for himself. Yaaaaaaay.

Again, I already talked about the Dhorks, but it bears repeating that the fact that they decided to use melee weapons when THEY HAVE GUNS is fucking stupid. The show tries to pass this off by saying "They chose those melee weapons cuz they were badass!", except that excuse doesn't work because it makes the Dhorks just...incompetent. And usually when a narrative purposefully makes a villain stupid we aren't supposed to take that villain seriously, but the Dhorks are villains who we are supposed to take at least semi-seriously so deliberately making them stupid like this doesn't really work.

Another example I can think of is in Oops where when Blitz comes up with a plan to get rid of all the henchmen all at once using guns, they, for some reason, didn't hear all the gunshots and screaming going on and didn't go to check what the fuck was happening. If they did do that, then they would have most likely all gotten shot and not only would the episode's climax not happen, but the show would also lose two of its major recurring villains.

So HB's villains are often incompetent or just straight up stupid - they make dumb decisions just so to continue the plot. If they did the logical thing, major changes in the show's plot would happen and it can't have that now, would it? Now let's talk about the next problem...

5. There's Too. Fucking. Many of them

This is my last problem with HB's villains, that being; there are just WAY too many of them. Now, having multiple recurring antagonists isn't a bad thing, a lot of shows have a few smaller recurring antagonists here and there. The problem here is that in HB with each new villain creates a new plotline; Stella's conflict with Stolas regarding their divorce, the Cherubs being kicked out of Heaven and probably will try to get revenge on the IMPs, the Dhorks going to expose the existence of demons, Striker going to assassinate Stolas, and Crimson most likely going to get payback from Moxxie.

It contributes to a major issue I have with this show; there's just. TOO MANY plotlines going on and it makes it feel unfocused. Most shows I've seen usually have a main plot and 2-3 maybe even 4 smaller plots than it focuses on per season. HB meanwhile set up six yes six plotlines in just its first season (The ones I've already mentioned + Blitz making amends with the people he hurt and Stolitz). And now in season 2, it's just. Adding more with Crimson.

The show suffers from cramming in TOO MANY characters and plotlines making the show feel messy and unfocused. I would also like to point out how the show just adds plotlines that are like. Completely unnecessary? Mainly the Dhroks and Cherubs plotlines; these aren't connected to the show's core story (whatever tf its supposed to even BE at this point), and removing them doesn't change anything about the show, so they are just completely unneeded. The same thing goes with the Crimson plotline.

They only serve to clutter the show even more and make it feel unfocused, which is a problem HB's villains contribute to a LOT.

6. Conclusion

So, ya, that's why I don't like the villains in Helluva Boss. In conclusion; HB's villains are boring, one-dimensional, sometimes flat-out incompetent, and are just plain underwhelming. So uh ya...bye.

[thesharktanksdriver]

People are strange (platonic)

Basically the vamp boys had a kid they just now learned about.

This is entirely platonic and there’s a section for each of them individually as the father in this situation. beginning Half is just kinda context takes place two years before the film

Your mother always warned you of monsters when you were younger

Ones that would hide within the shadows

Glowing red eyes

Gnashing pointed teeth that shine in moonlight

Hissing and growling like wild animals

Ones that looked like you and I

Who seemed impossibly beautiful, like carved statues of cherubs and angels Who were really the devil himself in disguise

She taught you to be wary of the world

To trust your gut and never brush off the chill that goes down your spine when you feel something was wrong

Many called your mama a paranoid woman

One who was skittish and afraid of the slightest bump in the dark

But you knew there was always something more to her fear

A reason as to why she’s deathly afraid of the clock chiming midnight

You trusted her for she was your mother

You never complained from her working long hours to make ends meet or about not getting the latest toy

Her getting home late and locking the door, shaking hands and uneven breaths was enough to always keep you from making a pep

Especially as it all melted away at the sight of you waiting patiently to greet her despite how late it was

She was tough as nails despite how people gave her looks for raising you on her own

Yet another reason you respected her more than just being your mom

So despite how you had to move yet again you didn’t complain

Especially as she said that in this place the two of you would be staying in a bigger home

So she packs up yet again

And the two of you load up into her car, putting the limited amount of items into the trunk before making the trip to Santa Carla

The so called “murder capital of the world” via the back of a billboard advertising the place

The sun is up and as she drives through the town you see all kinds of people

People from different backgrounds and subgroups

It was all fascinating to your 12 year old mind

Especially since you’d only see leather clad and studded jackets on tv

Never up front and in person

You peered out in wonder at a few of the leather wearing people, even getting a few small waves or smiles from them

It made you wave back as your mom drove past a boardwalk

One that piqued your interest without much effort

Perhaps it was the sight of carnival games that were likely rigged

Stuffed Prizes as big as you were

Sugary sweets and greasy delicacies

Flashing lights from stomach churning rides

The sound and smell of the salty water of the sea crashing into the shore

But something drew you there

It was like a call in your mind

Beckoning you to go

Like Alice following the white rabbit into wonderland

Your mother sees your stare and chuckles a little

Hands gripping the steering wheel as she turns it

“Did you know that I used to live here?”

“Really?!”

“Yep. The house we’re gonna live in is where I used to live when I was a teenager”

“But…I thought grandpa and grandma didn’t like you because of me?”

“Grandma and grandpa…are in a retirement home. We got the house in return”

At that you nod

It sounded like it made sense

“Mommy actually used to go the board walk quite a bit. Maybe you’ll have fun there”

“I’m allowed to go there?”

“Yeah but…remember what I said about following your gut. Alright?”

“Ok!”

Moving in is relatively quick

The place is old and furnished in antique furniture

It’s better that what the two of you had before except for the old person smell

But that would go away with time…and fabreeze

You traverse through the place finding what you assumed to be your mom’s old room

It’s untouched

Remnants of the 60’s turning into what you think to be the 70’s

Posters hang on the walls, Janet Joplin and Jim Morrison are two you can clearly recognize

Their music played on the way to this very house

The covers of the bed are soft as you flop down onto the duvet spread of swirls and sunflowers

Your bag following suit as it spills open to let your stuff tumble out onto the bed

By the time night hits your surging with energy as your mom gets ready to go to her new work

It was weird but for some reason you always felt more energetic at night

Your mom always said you got that from your dad which made you giggle

You never knew him

Only heard bits and pieces about him from your mother who guarded it to her heart

Naturally you were curious about the man since he WAS your father

But by how hesitant she seemed you eventually brushed that curiosity away for her sake

Your mom gives you twenty dollars and a kiss on the cheek after handing you a sweater just in case

The rule was to be back by 10 which you’d definitely abide by lest you have this privilege taken away

So your off

Into the boardwalk you go as the last bits of sunlight die

The sun slowly going down in the horizon signalling night to take reign

Your a bit overwhelmed since this is the first time having such a big sense of freedom

Plus there are so many people here

For awhile you end up laying a few games, winning cheaply stuffed prizes before ending up getting some ice cream

You end up sitting by the steps going down into the beach

It was quieter there and less busy making it relaxing as you listened to the waves

And then you heard the sound of moter cycles roaring

Your eyes turn to see 4 boys, all teenagers around 18 or 19 coming to a stop

Their all laughing to themselves

Two blonds seemingly play fighting as another watches with a tall dark haired man

You get up from your spot, whipping of stray bits of sand sticking to you and approach the group who’d yet to notice you

“I like your jackets”

Their eyes search around for a moment before trailing down to you

Staring up at them with interest

You notice how whatever they were gonna respond with dies in their throats

You miss how momentarily their eyes flash to an cat-like yellow hue from being distracted from the detailing of their leather coats

Specifically the one with all the patches and dangly bits

The one in the centre responds first, thanking you before kneeling down a bit to be at a better height

Up till then you had to crane your neck up to look at the 4 of them

He introduces himself and then the others

There’s a noticeable intrigue in them that doesn’t go unnoticed by you

The one named Paul chimes in asking if your here with some friends

You respond with the truth that your here alone, your first night in your new home

“Must be pretty brave coming here all alone” the one named Marko comments with a wild smile

“Mom says the same thing. She also always says trust your gut”

“What does your gut say about us?”

“That your cool”

That gets a good laugh out of them

The rest of the night you spend it with the rowdy group of bikers

Paul and Marko showing you the best hacks for winning the carney games

David buying you a burger that you snack on as the night progresses

Dwayne placing you on his shoulders when you mention your feet starting to hurt

It’s fun

Possible the most fun you had in a long while

At a lot of your old schools you never really made friends

Partially due to the fact you knew you’d move but also cause you could never really click with other kids your age

But it seems that within minutes of meeting these delinquent bikers you’d made the friends you had so longed for

But eventually the night comes to an end the minutes to 10 are ticking down and you have to head home

You notice how distinctly upset one of them are compared to the rest

And how in your own way you feel the same

Almost as if you were about to leave a part of your soul if you left

“I’ll be back tomorrow night. We can meet by the same spot if you’d all like”

Immediately the mood is lightened

David nodding as the others smile and wave you off as you take the path home

Despite how dark the streets were and how afraid you probably should be when walking home in a new town

Let alone one named the murder capital of the world

You feel at ease

Safe beneath the starlit skies as the moon lead your way home

At some points you could’ve sworn you felt eyes on you but there was no feeling of danger

You could even dare say you felt protected as the wind howled last you

When you get home your mom is there to greet you with a smile

One that seemed less stressed than normal

“How was it?”

“It was fun!. I made some friends I think”

“You think?”

“Yeah…well this older than me but super cool”

She nods with a smile, sending you to bed with a spark of familiarity in her eyes as she stares out a window

The next night you keep your word, going to the same spot you met them when the light died

Letting night take it’s place

They arrive like they did last time but instead of laughing amongst themselves they immediately head to greet you

It repeats like this for your night times

Their always filled with fun and laughter as the group quickly welcomes you to its metaphorical ranks

There is an unknown sentiment shared between them

One that it takes awhile for your young child brain to catch onto

Eyes sending silent sentences as they ruffled your hair

The way how there’s an unspoken rule between them that at least one is with you at all times

How out of the bunch one specifically seems to linger near you more than the others

An unknown emotion filling their eyes as they have to say goodbye once the clock chimes 10

And then joy when they see you the next night at the boardwalk

How that one of the group is always the first to find you and greet you

It’s odd

But perhaps not in a bad way

It makes you feel happy and comfortable

Almost as if you greeting your dad after a long day of work or saying goodbye to him

It’s a feeling you enjoy especially as the nights are filled with joy

But with that also comes the odd feeling you have with them

A sense of kinship beyond just regular friendship

Something more alike to being part of a family

Along with that is also the odd smell your sometimes find lingering near them

It’s faint but there, an irony twang that isn’t from the studded boots or moter cycles

It hangs from them in an essence that only you seem to notice

For some reason you imagine the smell as an almost red mist

Something that also lingers around the video store that they avoid as best they can

Not like you can blame them though

Something in you tells you that danger lies there so you never go near it

There a noticeable change in you as you spend time with them

A sense of energy when the sun sets that leaves you somewhat confused since it wasn’t to this extent before

Now you felt as if you were more alive at night

Sometimes taking hours to even try to force yourself to sleep when your supposed to

And despite that you feel energetic as usual during the day but especially at night

It becomes an ongoing cycle you endure

Because if it meant being able to spend time with the boys you’d befriended then you’d bare it

David like the others can instantly tell that your his kid

They all can

It’s safe to say your now his number one priority

For a long while David feels clueless as to how he should handle this

Cause on one hand he wants to just take that step into fatherhood

To be there for you as best he could without up and saying he’s your dad

But at the same time he doesn’t know if that’s what you want or need

And that leaves him more scared than he’d like to admit

He doesn’t want to be like Max, someone who’d come into your life uninvited and decide that he’s now your dad

It’s fucked up and they know all about it from now being his “sons”

So for awhile he’d keep the relationship as being a big brother figure until he gets hints that he’d think it would be ok to take a more fatherly role

It’s odd for him to feel so…soft

He’s normally composed and at times gruff

The complete opposite of how he is when your tugging him to booth to win a prize

For the first in a long time David allows himself to let his guard down

To let the walls guarding his heart topple down and be vulnerable

It’s something he doesn’t do often even with the others

So it means a lot to him that he can do so without worry

He takes to hovering around you a lot

he’s not really affectionate like Paul or Marko but likes to just silently be near your presence

Watching you smile at a dumb joke

It comforts him that your not afraid of them, of him

That despite the looks and the scared glances from other people on the boardwalk you always come back

That also leads to him worrying for you

Especially since there are monsters in Santa Clara that may not be vampires but in his opinion much worse than they are

It’s cause of that he ends up personally watching and making sure your ok

That you get home safe to your mother

Speaking of which he may or may not be a bit bitter she kept you a secret from him

He partially understands her reasoning but it still hurts

What matters though is that he can be there for you now

Your a smart kid and it makes him proud especially as you begin taking after him in small ways

Sometimes it’s with how you walk as if you owned the place

Or how you went about a situation

He can’t help but chuckle a bit when thinking about it especially when he gifts you a coat similar to his own

The sight of which makes his crack a smile as you add it to your daily attire

It makes him feel a stroke of pride as you parade around like a mini him

Everyone knows that he’s something akin to a paternal figure to you and with that comes no one on the boardwalk messing with you

Unless they want him and the boys on their asses with a potential of ending up on a missing poster

But once again with that comes Max

Shit grinning Max who just had to stick his head into what didn’t involve him

David won’t admit it but he’s always on pins and needles when around the older vampire

For someone who is normally in control and the most powerful in a room he feels weak when the other vampire is around

All grip on the situation slipping out his fingers like sand in an hour glass

An sturdy object now cracked and moments away from breaking under the pressure of a fake smile and yellow eyes

Unsurprisingly Max is happy with this development

David dare even say ecstatic which leaves him uneasy

It’s better than him being mad but he can see the gears turning in his sire’s head

The prospect of his fucked up family dream coming one more step into fruition

Max makes one demand that David hesitantly agrees to which is bribing you in to meet him

So despite his clear hesitation David begrudgingly does so after exposing his…dad wanted to meet you

None of the boys are happy either but they put up some practices smiles and are able to convince you to help them pick out a video to watch

During this encounter you stick by David who is more than eager to shield you away from Max’s view as subtly he can

The older vampire peering down at you with intrigue

Despite nothing being amiss with the man behind the counter you feel uncomfortable

Something about him was wrong

The kind smile feeling almost Artificial as it hides something malicious behind it

You put up with that feeling though

Instead giving a shy but cordial greeting as Paul picks a film with Marko

Dwayne watching not too far away as David grasps your hand

The sight of which makes Max grin

After that the group takes you to their small hangout after you had gotten permission from your mom to stay longer

It’s something akin to a dream-like cave

Sea glass and beer bottle strung up to create blobs of coloured light

A large poster of Jim Morrison hanging on the wall just like your mom’s room that became your own

This places feels magical

“You like it?”

“Yeah!. Mom has a poster of Jim as well”

“Really?, well she must have good taste”

There’s a hidden amusement in his voice as he brings forth a wheelchair that he offers you to sit down in

It’s reminiscent of a throne as you sit down

David wheeling it closer to where the others sit as you giggle in delight

His eyes drift over to the bejewelled bottle every once in awhile as everyone watches the film

A part of him wants to offer it

That sweet golden ticket of immortality

But he holds back knowing it would be cruel

Though they may be sadistic he can’t bring himself to tricking you into turning

Can’t rip away your humanity and tear you away from your mother

He can’t find himself going to betray your trust

Perhaps later on in your life he’d offer it but for now he’ll lock those thoughts away

Despite how some part of his wishes to keep you forever young

Forever his child

His eyes trail back down to you dozing off

The others can’t help but laugh as the big bad David gentle picks you up with a certain soft look in his eyes

He glares but it only makes Paul and Marko’s giggles louder

Dwayne just smirks and nods

Getting the silent message of making sure the other two bozo’s didn’t burn down the cave as he left

And so he takes off into the sky with you in hand

Your smaller form fast asleep amongst the stars of the midnight sky

He can’t help but think about how fragile you are compared to him

A monster of the night

When he knocks on the door to your home he’s met by your mother whom stares with nostalgia

He asks if he can enter and she lets him

His jacket seems to flutter from a breeze coming in behind him

The next morning you wake up tucked into bed with the strangest dream of soaring the night skies

Your new friends Edgar and Allen say that you’d been reading too many superman comics

Dwayne feels his now unbeating heart stop as he stares down at you looking up towards them

Round innocent eyes that almost make him crumble and lose his usual stoic shield

He had always had a soft spot for children

And with you he absolutely melts like butter left in the Californian sun

The giant of a man accompanying you as you held onto his hand or the edge of his jacket

Out of them all he definitely takes to the role of dad the fastest

The quiet giant becoming the epitome of a gentle giant for you exclusively

It’s funny to the others how Dwayne will go from stoic badass to holding your hand when there’s a crowd so you don’t get lost

Honestly their all especially happy for him considering they all knew he once had a desire to have a family

It was initially what Max played on into initiating the brunette

Only for him to realize that those dreams were manipulated and played on

It’s due to that he is especially protective when he realizes you can be used as tool by Max

Like David he looms nearby but secretly loves giving you any affection that your comfortable with

Whether that be holding his hand or being placed on his shoulder is up to you but he never complains

In fact he only gently smiles, the edges of his eyes crinkling as a look of calm appears in his eyes

Dwayne (unlike the others) loves talking about historical events they had lived through

Of course he framed the stories as from relatives or now dead family members but there’s a certain look in his eyes that tells he’s talking of personal experience

Dwayne is a pro at the carnival games since he often times had to win them for Marko or Paul

He uses this to his advantage by winning you any and every prize you’d ever want

Whether that be the big ones or small your getting it

Thing is as well is that you don’t even need to ask him, he already seems to know which one you want and the next night or hour he returns with it in hand for you

The others now laugh cause now he stocks up on the cheaply stuffed toys and trinkets at the cave

Their in a neat pile away from the mud and grime

Plus Marko’s nabby hands for when he needs supplies for a new art project

Speaking of which he basically looms over Marko’s shoulder as he’s making you your own coat to match his

Jaguar and all

Marko knows he’s just excited but he has to shoo him off since having a giant looking over your shoulder while you work is kinda distracting

In the quiet moments where he sits with you and have ice cream by the beach he tells you of tales

How each constellation has a story

How flowers have certain meaning in Victorian and various cultures

Along with that he reads to you books of old

Ones with flowery language long forgotten to the modern world yet he holds an appreciation for

During when he reads he lets your read aloud with him, taking turns voice characters as he helps you sound out harder words

It makes him more happy than you can imagine that has someone (let alone his own child) to read along with

He likes Shakespeare and stuff considered to be classics but he has a soft spot for fantasy novels like Tolkien

Once considered reading to you Dracula but held back thinking that it maybe too on the nose and give you suspicions

It’s at this point he would also explain to you in detail his heritage of indigenous origin

Stories passed on from his people that he now shares to you

When he does so theirs a certain gentleness and vulnerability he has in his tone

It had been once again something he had dreamed of doing, passing down stories just as his parents and grandparents before him

One that was yet again something he didn’t think he’d get to do

But here he is, beneath the starry night sky retelling stories generations old as you look to him with pure amazement and interest

Something that makes him a bit more teary eyed than he’d like to admit

He often worries about your sleep schedule and about your health in general partially due to the fact none of them know what a half-vampire entails

Nor do they want to ask Max out of fear of sounding too suspicious

So he kinda has to wing it

Through the night he constantly makes sure to get you snacks and drinks to keep you hydrated

The other joke that he’s a mother hen but he takes that in pride

Pride that he can care for his own flesh and blood

But of course nothing can last forever and Max catches on when you accidentally stumble into his shop on night with Dwayne behind you

Safe to say it’s a bit of an awkward talk that has implications you don’t catch onto as the two “talk”

Well it’s more like Max is talking as Dwayne gave short answers and silent messages through his glare

Meanwhile your peaking out from behind the movie selection as the man behind the counter stares at you with interest

When the two of you leave after that you notice how for a long while he gets more protective

His hand gripping yours a bit tighter than usual or how his eyes scour through the crowds when your on his shoulder

When he brings you to the cave (after your moms permission to stay out later than usual) you ride with him on his bike

Unlike the others (cough Marko and Paul cough) he drives safely

He also makes sure that your comfortable enough

Once there he carefully guides you down into their base

Being sure so that you don’t trip over any stray jutting stones or debris laying around

It comes to no surprise that he talks of the history of this place

From how it sunk to how stalactites now begin to form

You sit down with him at the old fountain and he pulls out an old copy of Hamlet

He reads as the others do their own thing nearby, casually listening or throwing in a quip from time to time

It’s fun especially as Paul makes a remark that their all to dramatic

That gets a rock thrown at him by David

When your getting tired though he takes you home on his own

The hum of the motor cycle making it really easy to fall asleep as the very early hours of the morning

Your mother can only smile at the sight of him walking you to the door hand in hand

The next while that becomes a tradition

One in which that has you always happy at the end of the night from the fun memories and how easy it was to fall asleep

Dwayne’s new favourite activity though is teaching you to dance since you randomly asked one day

The tune of a song from the smiths or echo and the bunny people filling the cavern

Bouncing off it’s old walls as you stand on his feet following his lead

He fells at peace, purely content and happy in a way he hadn’t experienced yet in his undead life

“Am I doing this right?”

“You are, just follow my lead”

Edgar and Allen say he’s unfortunately not allowed in their shop cause he refuses to still wear a shirt so you can’t introduce them yet

No shirt no service as they say

Paul is freaking the fuck out internally cause out of all of them he was a dad

Him

The smooth talking ladies man who was as high a kite almost every night

Is he upset by this revelation? Fuck no

Is up surprised and unprepared? Hell yeah

Unsurprisingly the others tease him about this quite a bit but he doesn’t bite back since he’s too distracted wrapping his head around how he should act around you

Like the others he’s had a particular bad home life back when he was alive so he doesn’t really know how to be a good dad

Part of him fears that he’ll end up like his father

Controlling and often times would hurt him for acting out

It leaves him fearful that he could become him for he is already a monster of the night

There’s no telling if he’d fall as far as his dad

The others remind him he would never but a part of him still worries

During his time with you he is always cracking jokes and quips to hear you laugh

It’s perhaps his new favourite thing to hear as a smirk spreads across your face

A sight in which he does his best to be a constant expression on your face

The so called “twisted sister look alike” likes indulging in games with you

Along with spinning you around in the air or running with you sitting on his shoulders

Marko helps him with a lot of the these endeavours

The other golden hair vampire helping in the schemes he makes to make your nights all that more enjoyable

Several of which are stopped by Dwayne of David cause their apparently “dangerous” and “could blow our cover you dumb blonds”

The dumbass duo now becomes a trio cause your dragged along with them

The only braincell on the group as David and Dwayne desperately hope you don’t lose said braincell with hanging out with the two

Paul is very affectionate and shows this both verbally and physically

He’s constantly telling you how cool you look and patting your head

It’s his way of making sure you know your always loved

You can definitely bet he sneaks you into concerts that you maybe shouldn’t be at

And then at said concert he parades you on his shoulders so you get a good view

Wild hair flying everywhere as he bops to the tune with you doing the same

With you now taking up most of his attention he focuses less on woman since he’d rather spend time with someone who he knows won’t leave

Even when he does talk to woman though it isn’t like it was before

What started off as flirting derails when he starts talking about how proud he is of you and-

And the woman has now left and he hadn’t noticed

David jokes that he’s lost his skills but he doesn’t really mind as much as he initially thought

He just laughs it off with a “whatever you say man” before taking you to yet another booth where he wins you something

And steals a few extra prizes

He steals you quite a bit of stuff

Like you were looking at something for a millisecond?, he’s mentally notes that down to yoink later

Bit of a kleptomaniac so he has a shit ton of old concert merch and collectibles that he gifts to you

David been complaining that it’s piling up in the cave anyways so he’s happy it’s going to a good home

Still a bit sad cause he’s emotionally attached to those items but feels a sense of happiness when he sees you wear the old band shirts he’s collected

Speaking of which he had a ton of unused patches Marko has been unable to touch that he has added to your coat

All the way from Jimi Hendrix and the doors to Motley crew and black sabbath

He tries to hold back smoking near you but there are the times where he ends up high and is around you

You actually find Paul to be really funny when he’s high

The others disapprove cause it’s not exactly a respoible thing to do in front of a kid and cause he gets chatty and on several occasions almost blew their cover

He does try to tone it down for your sake though

Which is more than David could ever convince him to do

It probably doesn’t take long for Max to catch on that’s something going on that he hasn’t been let on to

Doesn’t fucking except Paul of people to have a kid

Well…maybe that’s a lie, he does know that he is quite good with women but still

Like the others Paul doesn’t really like Max but he at least tries to hide his discomfort with a lazy smile

Don’t be fooled though cause his foot is bouncing anxiously

Max is of course all smiles as you place a movie you’d like onto the counter

Paul holding your hand as you feel sweat begin to form on his

Max greets and talks with him but you can sense something is odd

The encounter ends fast and leads with Paul putting you on his shoulders and running off into the crowds

You still feel the other man’s eyes watching the two of you disappear into the sea of people

Eventually your able to get permission to go with them to their cave on the condition they drop you off back home

In an instant Paul is showing you his area of the cave

His figurative treasure trove that your allowed to touch without the worry of having a rabid Paul set loose for touching his stuff

You sit on a pile of old shirts as he shows off some trinkets that he thought were particularly cool

It’s there he also plays some of his favourite albums from the mixtapes Marko made

At some point he begins singing along with you following suit

Laughter and giggles every few verses as you mess up words and only remember the chorus

It’s the most fun thing he’s done

It’s so mundane yet it seems to ingrain itself into his memory

Something he’d hold close when he felt particularly lonely

When he takes you home he decides to park his motorcycle at the board walk and take you the rest of the way by foot

You laugh and joke with him and it warms his undead heart

You talk of your dreams and he makes you promise to never doubt your ability to accomplish them

Something his dad never did

Your mother already awaits at the door when he drops you off

He smiles and shoots her a flirty remark she giggles at as she shoo’s you to bed

As he’s about to leave she says he and the others always welcome to stay if the sun is too close

He nods and disappears into the night

Edgar and Allen say Paul isn’t allowed in the store after once catching him stealing several comics

Along with the fact their concerned his dumbassery will end up with the shop in flames

Marko is dumbfounded but also jumping with fucking joy

HE HAS A KID!!!

Oh my god- ow

Yeah definitely excited but then realizes that means he has a tiny human he’s now responsible for

A tiny human who is more fragile than regular humans

In an area infested with creepo’s and surf nazi’s

He’s now internally screaming and Dwayne is doing his best to help cause they all can hear it through their mind link

Definitely anxious about now having a kid who doesn’t know he’s their dad but simultaneously he knows their his kid

David is so close to sometimes snack him on the head

Marko is personally good with affection and dishes it out quite often but his favourite is gifts

Me makes (and steals) you sooo much stuff

Like if Paul was bad for snatching shit then Marko is going to a new level for you

Out of the bunch he’s the most artistic

And he’s very passionate about it

Me makes you bracelets, handmade pins out of bottle caps, patches and doodles

All of which end up being kept safe in your room or added to your clothes

He’d absolutely love to take you “shopping” around the boardwalk for supplies before starting an art project with you

Hunched near the beach as the two of you paint some random shit with patterns and drawings

It’s due to this the fights in the boardwalk has gone down 50%

David has almost staked himself several times for the countless times Marko and Paul end up in stupid situations as they dragged you along

It’s nothing too bad, just some light mischief that leaves you giggling as he runs with you clinging to him

He only wins at the carnival games cause he cheats via vampire powers

Like he could’ve learned to do it properly over the years

But using an ability is sooo much easier

Plus somehow miraculously winning every time to watch the hope drain from a vendors eyes is satisfying to him

As is reaping the rewards of giving you a giant plush and getting a bright smile

One time you surprised him with something you won him and he still cherishes it

He even gave the plush a name and refuses to let anyone but him touch it

That goes along with any drawings or small artwork you give him

It could be something as small as a post it note with a smiley face and he’d be asking David to frame it on a wall

He decides to make a scrapbook to keep it all in

Certain drawings he really likes end up becoming custom patches that he adds to his coat

Unlike the others who want to give you a jacket that relatively matches their own

Marko goes off the wall in creating something similar to his but at the same time different

He’s an artist, he ain’t making the same thing again

Do you know how that hurts his soul?…if he still had one!

…plus Dwayne would probably strangle him if your jacket had a half naked woman like his own

Your jacket becomes his main project he works on

Yours is customized to your liking with patches of bands you like

To Italian tapestries much like his own

He adds charms and beads and-

David has to stop him before it becomes too heavy for your small form to carry

They once had to stop Marko from committing a art heist cause you offhandedly mentioned you like one of the paintings a local museum had

He verbally torn apart by Dwayne but it was so worth it in his eyes since he was able to raid the gift shop for prints instead

(Still sucks he couldn’t get the original)

Sometimes when he’d feeling nostalgic he takes you around the area and shows you works of art he may or may not have made

Their all anonymous works so he can just tell you his “interpretation” of what it’s supposed to mean

He loves hearing your input though

Hearing your own version of how you view the message of a piece as he looks on

Marko has been breeding and training pigeons for generations so he definitely introduces you to his feathered friends

He shows you how to tell if their happily coo’ing and where to pet them

His favourite of the bunch is one he named “Legosi” after the actor

Legosi now ends up being a messenger pigeon that he uses during the daytime to send you little motivational messages or small charms

Like Paul it doesn’t take long for Max to catch onto something being amuck

And Marko is fucking terrified as he attempts to act like his normal self as the man behind the counter of the video store looks down at you with a smile

It feels almost like a predator smiling down at prey

When he takes you to the cave he shows you all his projects and artwork that is found around

The fountain and the pigeons

It’s fun especially since he shows you all the random supplies he’s collected over the years

Including weird ass paints that aren’t in production due to them using dangerous materials like arsenic

The others watch on as the usually chaotic blond becomes calm as the two of you finger paint

Or he teaches you to sew

It’s probably the most content they’ve seen him in a long while

He won’t tell you it but he has a habit of accidentally just divulging in Italian as he talks about amazing you are to the others without even noticing he’s switched languages

Yet again not allowed into the comic shop for stealing plus Edgar and Allen swear he’s cut out panels when their not looking

You can confirm after seeing his collage’s with comic strips that he probably cut out from the pages

For someone often considered paranoid many people find it odd how your mother moved back to her hometown of Santa Clara

Even with the inheritance of her parents home it still felt like a departure from how she normally was

The woman who’s jump at the slightest of sounds

Or insisted on having at heart 3 locks on a door

But perhaps what’s more strange is her response as to why she lets you, a 12 year old, out at night

Something that normally would seem like a decision only made by negligent parents in this town polluted by missing posters

“Their probably the person with the most safety in this town. Cause I’m this case their the metaphorical princess with a group of dragons there to protect them”

Most would write off this statement

But it’s more true than anyone would initially think

For the monsters who lurk the night don’t hurt one of their own

[liveontelevision]

A lil' somethin' (nothin' fancy)

Here's just a little random Lucifer blurb I wrote today, I liked the words is all, so enjoy maybe?

No romance, no fluff, no reader 😬 BUT I am working on something cute right now so stay tuned!

---

They say Lucifer lost his will to dream.

It was published in a book for goodness sake. Everyone in Hell knew what a failure he was. That being said, he did still have some creative outlets. He was a showman at heart, litering the seven rings with amusement parks, circus tents and stages; specifically made for Lillith's concerts, but it was used for other things as time went on.

In reality, he could create anything. Any item you could think of, he could conjure up with just the snap of his fingers. And he used that power often. A thriving realm wasn't just made of sinner's. It needed a working class. Now, when it came to Lucifer, he had all the same abilities as his heaven bound brothers. And they could create life. It was something Lucifer loved to do when he was above the clouds. Or used to, at least.

Don't get me wrong, his powers are still as strong as they were when he was an angel, but when he tried to create life like he used to, it.. it was just different. Like his power had some kind of distortion that he had to work around. Cute little cherubs turned into red skinned creatures with horns and goat legs, cats came out with one eye, and lambs came out with sharp teeth and wings.

He didn't mind them, and he would never take away a life just because of its appearance. So, he found work for them, no problem. They'll keep the realm running smoothly. And as he created more imps and other hellborn creatures, he became better at it. After some practice and honing of his skills he created, what he would call, his best work. A handful of creatures he deemed as rulers for each ring of hell. The Sins. He took pride in each being, creating them to embody the true notions that came with the knowledge of truth. He put his deepest desires into a little spider clown he called Mammon. All of his wanting and indulgence into a lovely little lava pup, and finally, his truest love and devotions into a spunky little rooster. (And others to come)

But it all turned on him. They became his proudest achievements in decades, but people saw them all as ruthless leaders. And in some cases, that's simply what they became. His desires, indulgence and devotion were viewed as greed, gluttony and lust. Word of these beings would travel to Heaven, only solidifying his tainted image to his brothers. But.. it was okay. He had a family now. The sins all grew to be incredibly close to Lucifer and Lillith, even giving their sweetest child a taste of what a communicative family would look like. Lucifer wanted nothing more than to create a loving environment for his daughter once she was born. And he took pride in the fact that he did.

---

In my head, I like to think that Lucifer created the sins this way. I see fan art of it all the time, and it's just so?? Cute??? Like Beezlebub feeding of Lucifer's depression vibes and comforting him, and the sins babysitting Charlie in general? aH I eat that shit up. I'm def thinking of including them in stories in the future 🙌

Ok that's all, thanks for reading my little thing :)

[therealslimshakespeare]

Is there any chance of a naughty sleepover with Ken Lemmons? Enquiring minds would love to know.

Oh how I labored over this. Not because I don’t love Kenny, I adore him in fact but in many ways I’m realizing I’ve got a significant hurdle to surmount: he’s too good for me so I rarely think of him this way. He’s not possessing the full brotherly vibes of Demarco, but he is another class of his own. I admire him too much to fully lust. Also he is baby.

However, he’s also a grease covered badass so, before I go and baby girlify him too hard, let’s take a crack at this, best of my ability and with the kind help of my babe @faegoddessog

Cock-versations || Sgt. Ken Lemmons edition 🛠

nsfw (AF!!) below the cut:

What’s this cherubic lookin’ man packing?: my vote is the most velvety soft cock, average length, average girth, lovely altogether AND he definitely curves to the left which will rub you mad, has a verrrrry large sack sporting a pronounced seam up the middle and is oddly hairless (great for tea bagging, cough cough) and his curlies, well, such as they are -they’re extra curly. DUH

A note on the wielder of the weapon: he’s nineteen, ok? Very young and green, is still quite enamoured with the act but his enthusiasm is well earned. BIG GIVER ENERGY! This is good as you two totally took each other’s virginity, and due to his adoration, patience and adept skills for tuning up any motor, you’re gonna have the most enjoyable virginity loss like, ever. 10/10 recommend. You will be so ready for him it doesn’t even hurt and it’s a blissful first thirty seconds as his angelic light shines real bright inside you. Uhem .

Other virtues: what those hands do?! He is pretty much happy and giddy to get you off anyway you ask, it brings him most satisfaction to bring you to bliss, he’s playful and he’s resourceful, his fingers are ten times better than most men’s cocks. You’ve see his attitude about everyone’s successes? Translates beautifully in bed.

Extra curriculars: THIS MAN WANTS TO PUT A BABY IN YOU HARD! I can’t explain it, maybe it’s the Arkansas coming through, his fatherly ways with his little English friends, or the way he just looks like his return would be potent, either way, ten months after he’s home you’re gonna be pushing out twins, I don’t make the rules . First set of twins, i should specify, another follows at some point.

The kids look so much like him you’re more than happy to keep replicating, he gets their little baby footprints tattooed on his shoulder, and spends every night of your pregnancy laying on his belly next to you on the couch talking to your belly. Reading Popular Mechanics to the babes and educating them on the merits of diesel vs gasoline.

He’ll then lean over and kiss your belly and whisper "sleep tight babies" (cuz HE knows there's two in there, even if you and the doctors don't) then he'll look up at you and say "It's mommy and Daddy time" before he rises to kiss you. Lots of pregnant cock warming on the front porch swing, simple but pretty new dresses spread out as a surprise on your bed and the proudest husband over everything you do. “My beautiful wife” -you’ve never heard him introduce you as anything but.

[helluvabinge]

Trailer Deep Dive

OK, prediction time. Spoilers if you haven't seen the trailer yet.

Take a look and let me know your predictions.

Let's start with the episode list.

Full Moon is, I think, clearly going to be the Blitz and Stolas breakup.

And I think it's going to hurt, because Blitz is showing up all dressed up and with a candle, that he probably picked out with Fizz's help.

So like... he's finally turning the romance on for once. Has he realized he wants to be with Stolas JUST before Stolas decides to end things? Yup, this is going to rip out my heart.

But also, clearly Blitz says some hurtful things back to Stolas becase next episode is Apology Tour.

Where we get Stolas singing in front of the words "Blitz Sucks."

I'm guessing the stuff where Stolas is in this robe is also from this episode since he looks so irritated with Blitz, but I also have another theory for later...

Because next comes Ghost Fuckers, which is I think where this stuff is going to fit in...

My theory is that the Goetia realize that Stolas has given Blitz and his crew access to the mortal world and try to put a stop to it. They summon Stolas to answer for his actions and, when they try to apprehend Blitz, the crew escapes to the mortal world.

Once there, they find some human disguises and try to lay low, only to find themselves mistaken for ghost hunters at a haunted hotel. (I don't have any screenshots of that because I think it's just going to be a fun and silly episode)

I'm also going to throw out a wild theory that Stolas gets imprisoned and that's what this shot is all about.

I am absolutely LESS confident in this theory than any of the others I mentioned, but it just looks a little mystical prisony. Or it could just be a shot in a musical number. But if it's a prison, I'll circle back to this in the finale.

EDIT - Nope, this is from Full Moon. I just saw the early release of the duet, so apparently I was wrong about this being the prison thing. Though to be fair, I still think Stolas and/or Blitz gets locked up before the finale, but whatever. We'll see.

But before any of that of course, while the crew is up on earth, they have to run into DORKS and (yay!) CHERUB. So excited for this episode. I'm guessing they have another interrogation that will rip our hearts out for Blitz with all of this shit -

But it does seem like our team will get out of it just fine.

So on to the finale!

Sinmas is going to be fun.

Remember how I mentioned earlier I would come back to the Stolas in a bathrobe thing? Well, that area does look vaguely like the possible mystical prison I mentioned earlier. If Stolas does end up in priosn, I'm thinking the parts with him in his bathrobe shown earlier could also be him in this prison, being bitchy to Blitz because they got caught. Again, I'm less confident in this theory. (See the Edit above - I don't think this is what happens anymore) But maybe Blitz shows up to get him out after dealing with all the trauma DORKS forced him to pull back up, because this scene DEFINITELY looks like Blitz finally dealing with his trauma and apologizing to his dead mom.

I'm split on whether this will happen in Sinmas or Mastermind. Makes sense structurally to put it in Mastermind, but it would also be a good emotional beat for the finale to see Blitz finally confronting his guilt over his mom's death.

And as for the action...

Is that Satan?

I'm so ready for this.

[cutepastelstarsalior]

Helluva boss review part 5

Helluva boss short

So this short is about Millie and her sister, Sally Mae. It’s only 5 minutes long. So very short indeed. The little montage of Sally and Millie being in the spa, dressing up shopping, and being at the arcade and club was cute. Thought I did notice that the short is very quiet? There’s not a lot of talking and when Millie and Sally were beating up the creep, there was lots of sound effect, but no talking or music. It was a bit weird..

Oh, so Sally is upset that Millie doesn’t visit home as much. She worries that Millie enjoys Imp City in comparison to home, where there’s not a lot to do. She explains that since Millie left, Sally had to take care of so much. Millie says she’s sorry that she doesn’t visit as much, and will try to. She also tells Sally that since their younger brothers are older and can help out, Sally can also come visit too.

The episode ends with the sister play wrestling then going to Millie’s apartment and watching a movie.

I think this short is very sweet. It gives inside to Millie’s and her Sally’s relationship, and their home. In the 2 season, we didn’t know anything about Sally or Millie’s family. So this little short is nice.

Trailer

Ok, so there going to be 5 new episodes. Cool. So this is going to be 3 season then?

The trailer is only 2 minutes long. In it, we see a weird cult, the gang has to go on the run, and business is peaking. 👀 ohhhh snap the cherubs are going to work with the government guys! I was wonder when those 2 groups would come back..

The gang also is going to get involved with a hotel dealing with ghosts, Stolas is questing his relationship with Blitzo. And there a council of birds…also a new prince?? Maybe it’s wrath?? Also Octavia is still questing if her dad loves her or Blitzo. And Blitzo doesn’t want to be a bad/toxic friend anymore..

The shows schedule for the new episodes

Final thoughts

Ok!! It took 2 days but I’m finally done with this series. I think I’m going to watch the 5 new episodes..I heard that this is going to be the show’s last season?? If it is, that’s fine by me, but I wonder how will they wrap everything up satisfying in 5 episodes?

Out of Vivzepop’s 2 shows, Hazbin Hotel, and Helluva Boss. I prefer this one much, much, more. The problem with Hazbin is that it gets to point A then to point B to fast. Like in the first episode they say that the angel extermination was in 6? 9? Months, but then in like episode 2, the show will have a time skip of a month or a week and nothing has happen. Characters just appear and disappears, characters don’t have any development or are just use in the background. When the final episode happen and the Big Fight™️ and the Big Musical™️ moments happen I literally didn’t care. Why should I cheer and wish these people happiness when I don’t even know them besides the basic surface knowledge?

That’s we’re Helluva is different. You can actually see and notice when people are changing. You can go from the first episode to the last and see the difference in people’s personalities. Any show, even if it’s an indie project or has little time, can give characters depth and make people want to keep watching.

But that where the negatives come in.

In the first season, it was about 3 imp with their hellhound assistant. There was also a demon bird, and his family, that’s it. By season 2, so many characters are introduced, that the show kind of just drops characters. Season 1 was about a group of assassins doing their job and getting into situations, it was a dark comedy. But by season 2, and especially the ending, that dark comedy turn into a drama. Only 1 episodes in season two did they have the assassins do their job. The rest of the time they, and it’s mostly Blitzo, are bodyguards to a high Nobel family.

The relationship of this show is what change the show. More specifically, Stolas x Blitso. In the pilot and in episode 1, Stolas just use blitzo for sex. Their dynamic was seen a a funny comedy. But as the season grew, it stopped being a comedy and turn into a romance. The plot of the show about assassins then becomes a show about a nobleman wanting to be in a relationship with someone from a lower class. And how the nobleman cheating on his wife, and how he and his wife are now going through a divorce.

The only time we see any dynamic outside that ship, is with Blitzo and Frizz, Blitzo and Moxxie, and Moxxie and Millie, or Moxxie and Blitzo vs Striker. I wish there was an episode where Moxxie and Loona had to spend the day together. Or Millie and Blitzo. I want to see this little group of imps together. There only 3 of them, and many times when they are together their dynamic feels off. It feels like something is missing. They are friendly with each other, but nothing more. They just act like co-workers. When you add Lonna and Octavia into the mix, that’s makes things more messy.

Octavia is a child who is watching her family go though a divorce. She feels like her dad doesn’t love her, only his new partner. I wish we can an episode about that. What are her thought on Blitzo? What does he think of her? What is Octavia’s relationship with her mom? Stella is abusive and hates Stolas, does she hate her daughter? What does Lonna think of Blitzo, who adopted her a month before she age out of the system. How does she feel about Millie or Moxxie? These dynamic dynamics strengths the show, instead of making the show loose it plot and have it be about a couple and their issues.

The gang having issues is fine, I like it. It gives insight to characters. Millie has a good relationship with her parents and sister. Moxxie has an abusive dad and he use to work in the mafia. Blitzo though, he’s the one with the most backstory and depth. As the start of the show he’s a jerk who curses, stalks his co-workers, and just had fun killing. As the series goes on, he starts to have conflicts thought on Stolas, and even rekindle an old friendship. He slowly changing.

Some of the other thoughts I have: the show curses a lot. But in the end episodes of season 2, it feels like the show is slowly starting to to turn that down. I don’t know if it’s because of YouTube or not, but I like that. Not every scene in a minute needs cursing. Also while the colors in this show are beautiful, and I love how each prince of sin has their own color. The show sometimes has the imp in a different skin tone. They are very pale in some scenes or even has a color warmer shade. It’s very noticeable. And while I do love the fights scenes, when a character is by themselves, the area feels slowly and empty.

The whole world feels empty too. There not many species in hell, so it makes the emptiness more noticeable. There imps, sharks, goats, birds, hellhounds, and a few other aqua animals. But that it. For only 6 species, this show is very small. Sidewalks and roads feel small, if this show is supposed to be overpopulated, why aren’t the crowd full of people or the roads with cars?

The singing numbers are bad. Literally only 1 song has gotten stuck in my head and that’s Ozzie’s. I’m feel like of the songs were shorter or even gone or use sparingly, it would help the show a lot. Most of the time a song is there just to show off the VA singing skills. The songs also don’t have depth more of the time, and I feel are use to run up space.

Also why are the imps lower class? Why is an imp and a nobleman, or an imp and a prince of sin being in a relationship a bad thing? What are the actual consequences of this? You can just keep telling us that imps are lower class and not tell us why.

TLDR: The show is decent, not sure amazing where I would recommend it, but ok. the show needs to explore other relationships besides stoles x blitzo. The background emptiness and the colors of the imp need to improve. Get rid of the songs. Wish there was more silly situations and less drama.

[the-meat-machine]

wait WERE they both horny about it??? i don't remember seeing anything like that in the comic (talking about the ship ask) ((the uucest part))

(referring to the caliborn/calliope part of this post about caliborn ships)

oh yeah, i absolutely stand by that statement. i would say that all evidence suggests that caliborn is definitely horny for calliope, and calliope is probably attracted to him too

i'm gonna start with a quote from aranea's explanation of cherub sexuality here, because it provides some important context:

In the case of our heroine, she was the good half, and the day of her predomin8tion was in a sense the day her 8rother died. And though it was to her 8enefit and personal growth, 8ecause of this loss she would always live with a sense that something was missing. Every sexually mature cheru8 lives with this feeling. It drives them to seek out another cheru8 similar to the half they lost, the part of their 8eing which they grew up in perpetual conflict with. The desire to travel the universe in hopes of reigniting that conflict is very important to their species. It's the force which compels them to procre8.

cherub romance is based in hatred, and specifically in a desire to experience the same sort of conflict they did with their "other half". to me this strongly implies that it's common - maybe even expected - for a cherub to be attracted to their other half

of course, just because this is true for cherubs in general doesn't necessarily mean it's true for these cherubs. but… i think it is

let's start with caliborn, because he's waaaay more obvious about it. he says that calliope will make a breathtaking corpse. he even fucking slips up and says that he's going to "mate with her". i don't think there's any doubt that he's horny for her

the question of whether calliope feels the same way is more ambiguous, but i think there's good evidence that she does

like, at the beginning of her chess game with caliborn she's playfully antagonistic in a way that seems calculated to piss him off (though in this case it doesn't because he knows he's actually the one winning). it honestly comes across as pretty flirtatious to me

and then there's… ok, well, first of all, bear in mind that the knights in their chess set fucking look like this:

that's just. that's a cherub in mating form. this chess set is downright pornographic. who gave this to a child. (gamzee did. thanks gamzee.)

anyway. while calliope still thinks she's winning, she interjects this little aside:

UU: knight to d6. UU: look oUt! i'm coming for her. UU: i think she's langUished behind the front lines long enoUgh, woUldn't yoU say? UU: time to shake things Up. move her, or take my knight. UU: yoU know yoU want to take her. jUst look at her there. what a cheeky intrUsion. slithered right into yoUr palace and made herself comfy. maybe she'll lay an egg once she's finished her feast. ^U^

and, like, hoooooooooooly shit, calliope, that is FILTHY. you have moved your highly erotic chess piece into caliborn's territory, taunted him to "take her", and just to complete the sexual analogy, decided to bring fucking eggs into the conversation too. god damn

and, ok, caliborn doesn't really react to this, so maybe at the time this pesterlog was written this wasn't intended to be quite that filthy. but still

the chess match later ends like this:

uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu] UU: FUCK THIS!!!!!!!!!!! UU: i don't know why i bothered hUmoUring yoUr vile Underhanded rUbbish! UU: I HATE YOU. JUST SOD RIGHT OFF TO HELL, PLEASE. uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]

undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU] uu: HEY THERE. BE CAREFuL. uu: A GuY COuLD GET THE WRONG IDEA. AND MISTAKE YOuR OuTBuRST FOR SOMETHING. uu: CALIGINOuS. uu: THAT WOuLD BE MOST uN"SISTERLY." DON'T YOu THINK. uu: ANYWAY. BY THE LOOKS OF THIS MESSY BOARD. uu: I'M GOING TO ASSuME YOu FORFEITED THE MATCH. undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]

uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu] UU: yoU are disgUsting. UU: i really loathe yoU, and no, NOT IN "THAT WAY!" UU: i am not going to talk to yoU for a while. probably a LONG while. UU: i only hope i can overcome my contempt for yoU when it comes time to play oUr game. bUt i am not holding my breath!!!!!!!!!!!

yeah, calliope claims here that she doesn't hate him "that way", but honestly, considering everything else she said and did throughout the match, it comes across as denial more than anything. and think about it - even if calliope were attracted to caliborn, would she ever admit it to him and give him the satisfaction of knowing it for sure? hell no.

(also once again caliborn is DEFINITELY flirting here by taunting her for her "unsisterly" feelings. horny horny boy)

so, there's all of that. there's also some indirect evidence in the conversation where calliope tells roxy that she's a cherub. during this chat, calliope says that she doesn't experience red romance, but that she can have caliginous romantic feelings. the way she says it doesn't sound hypothetical, either. she's not just talking about what's typical for cherubs - she seems to be confessing that this is how she, personally, experiences romance. and she acts ashamed enough of it that i think that if she'd never felt caliginous feelings for anyone, she'd want to say so; she'd want to be able to distance herself from it.

but… if she's had caliginous feelings before, who were they for? who does she feel enough contempt for to be attracted to? her friend group is pretty small, and she likes all of them. the only person she hates is, well… caliborn.

i think that this is something that she would never, ever be willing to confess to anyone, not even roxy. she's already ashamed enough of her species. how could she possibly confess to an attraction that she doesn't think humans could ever understand, that breaks human taboos, that means that she's attracted to someone everyone rightfully thinks is scum? no, this is a secret she'll take to her grave and beyond.

so anyway, yeah. tl;dr: caliborn has the hots for calliope, and calliope probably has the hots right back. qed

[asherlockstudy]

LMAOO!! ok I'm not gonna spoil the R&L video but plspls if you watch it tell us what you think!!

OKAY I have watched it twice now. It is obviously another symbolic work but the first time I was so dumbfounded by all the weirdness that I got like only a couple of symbolisms. The second watch was more fruitful. So let's get to it!

The Brown Diamond

First of all, the moment we got the title and the teaser I knew this would have potty humour and that, also, it would be about anal again.

The standing doggystyle in the beginning is fun but does not have a significance in the story. However, since the title is "The Quest for the Brown Diamond" it might be an attempt to create a subconscious connection between the two.

It is interesting that the very next scene sort of subverts the expectations formed from the previous one: Rhett is a very awkward and reserved, shy, gentle, intelligent man with many phobias, Horst, whereas Link is Sandy, a loud, crude, angry but good hearted man, with an established interest in women. They seem like total opposites of the characters they play, however there is truth hidden in them i.e Rhett is an introvert and he can be gentle and intelligent and Link can be angry and loud despite being a good person. I don't understand what was exactly the concept behind making the characters diverge so much from Rhett and Link in other aspects. Perhaps it was a red herring.

Whatever they said in the end, there is no more genuine statement of affection than "You look weird as hell...... but you always do".

Horst says he has this hair to have a form of natural shield and this might give as a hint as to why Rhett's character has so many phobias and puts up so many defenses; maybe it's about all the things he considered sinful and unacceptable when he was still in the faith.

The whole quest to essentially steal the diamond is Sandy's initiative and passion, while Horst simply follows because that's what he does, he follows Sandy. This might explain Sandy's assertiveness; by every allegorical work of theirs we have seen before it is implied again and again that Link (perhaps counterintuitively) was actually the pursuer of their relationship. Don't forget Carney in Friday's GMMore freaking saying that Link was Romeo between the two, whom Stevie had just described as an extrovert who pursued his relationship with Juliet! And that was the last episode before this video! Isn't all this...WILD? This also suggests that at this point a lot of the crew members know.

Horst opens tentantively the door and Sandy sarcastically says: "Look, Horst contributing already to the project!". They get in the mansion, where Sandy decides to rub himself on every single surface while Horst watches scandalized. The one time poor Horst tries to mimic Sandy, he realises he was trying to rub on a cherub which obviously kills his mood again. So this is likely about how much Link had to "throw himself out there" to make this work and how hesitant and scared Rhett was in the beginning.

By the way

Of course.

This gives me Rhett mixing his words flashback and saying "Link McLaughlin". Except this here is intentional. Then again someone could say best friends and branded business partners could do that too. However, with all the other stuff here, we can suspect this is not that simple of a case.

Horst pumps them both up with energizing food for the quest and it might be associated with the whole theme of the puzzle video, where it was implied they needed some... assistance in their first times. Sandy has to eat some seaweed, an experience he describes as "cunnilungus with the ocean" and Horst eats a sausage wrapped in bologna, which is the point where he breaks character a little, as Rhett apparently finds this too amusing! This all means that the energizing food scene though is heavily sex-coded.

After a straightTM moment, when Sandy builds up the courage to ask his ex-stepson (Tanner? Tunner?) if his mom still thinks about him, he starts looking for the diamond. He mentions he was looking at his Nana's drawers when he was young but then he asks this to be cut from the film as he doesn't want people to think that about him, which means this too is suspicious and in this case it probably implies he was exploring his feminine side. Ironically, this was also mentioned in the last GMMore, when Link asked for a few more years before he starts dressing like Miss Pingy...!

Meanwhile, Horst doesn't look for the diamond but gives as an empathetic, admiring, caring and loving description of Sandy. Yes, Sandy is frantic, angry, a brute but Horst sees through him and understands why he is the way he is. Sandy's childhood is similar to Link's to some extent.

Sandy follows and gives a shorter but emotional description of Horst: he stands out, he is a little weird but he is good and smart. Sandy also establishes he is protective of him and warns the stepson to not hurt Horst.

AND THEN OF COURSE THEY BROUGHT UP THE PUZZLE ARRYFFUJBIOGD Sandy even has a tattoo of the notorious puzzle piece, while Horst keeps it in his bracelet of things he fears and loves. (If you don't know what the deal with the puzzle is please read this).

Horst finds a guitar and starts playing a sweet song... so sweet that it is literally called

Sandy, much like real Link every time Rhett sings and plays music, stops his frantic search and listens hypnotized to Horst's playing. He joins him by the fireplace and they sing together. It is very sweet, very domestic. When the song ends, the silence between them is heavy and uncomfortable but full of warmth. Sandy asks Horst how he is feeling and Horst admits he is still scared. Sandy, pensive but respectful, decides that they should go, as apparently this whole thing isn't working out for them. He expresses regret for dragging Horst into this.

But, lo and behold! At the last moment, Horst finds a secret door and is suddenly the more excited one who reminds Sandy of their quest. In this secret room, they find a video recorded by the deceased owner of the mansion and the diamond, who gives instructions on how to get the diamond. The quest is bound to a riddle and this riddle IS THIS ONE:

To be shared between three, the heart must not be free but the damage is done if the heart is given to one.

Get it? If you have to give your heart to other two, your heart is not free, but then again when the heart is given to THE one only, that's when shit hits the fan (well literally in this video).

Can you believe it? Can you believe this is the story of these apparently extremely romantic middle-aged Southern youtubers?

The heart, the diamond, is of course inside Bahau moon, a three-ass artifact. Reminds of "the way to a woman's heart is through a worm's / woman's anus".

Sandy and Horst hear noises from upstairs and it appears Brandy, Horst's best friend at work, was trying to steal the diamond before them. And that is because Horst told her their secret as “he tells her everything”. What does Brandy symbolizes? Horst loves her a lot as a friend and keeps no secrets from her, Sandy is antagonistic to her. Sandy gets his hand in this ass first and competes with her for the diamond. Horst follows hesitantly again. They realise neither can win over the heart and all be happy. So Horst implores them to all lay off the heart diamond. In fact, Sandy has grabbed the heart and agrees to let it go only if Brandy promises to also not stick her hand to the ass again. Sorry for suggesting this...but can Brandy be a wife, like Jessie? Once they are all out of the Bahau moon and safe, Horst realises that his "phobias and loves" bracelet is dropped inside the artifact. He begs the other two to get inside the Bahau moon once more so he can retreive his bracelet. This might be associated to Rhett always having this pattern that he wants this to stop, to prevent it but then he is the one falling back to it (check Hazel where he tries to save Link but then Hazel takes him first and in the dig-a-hole video where he pulls Link out of his enjoyment only to later suggest a larger hole than Link did and drive the excavator himself). Horst really begs Brandy, tells her to do it for the sake of their “old good memories” together. This whole thing reminds me of that time Rhett was bringing up a lot that his marriage had gone through a milestone, that he and Jessie had had a very big and serious talk that changed but also supposedly “strengthened” their marriage. And then once Link let it slip that he was present during that serious talk of the couple, which one would expect would have happened privately.

Brandy betrays them, takes the brown diamond and leaves them. The Bahau moon starts releasing toxic gas. Sandy tells the camera man to save himself. The camera man still records Sandy and Horst's last moments from outside the window. As they are dying, they hold hands with their still free hand. Sandy asks forgiveness for everything but Horst does not hold anything against him. Before he takes his last breath, Sandy tells Horst he loves him. They die there, trapped forever. This ending resembles Hazel a lot, where they disappear forever in Hazel's forest. In Hazel, Link was also trying to tell Rhett he loves him before what he thought would be their last moments.

This gives the riddle another dimension, because in the end Sandy and Horst remain with their One, meaning each other, also stressed by the love confession, and this kills them. It is perhaps suggested that Brandy (a wife?) got her heart back and went on with her life, while they can't do the same. They stay trapped with the love that kills them.

And here's another ANON I got, I hope they read it cause I am answering here:

Thanks a lot for telling me!!! Yes it doesn't surprise me one bit. The ending is supposed to have that despair and melancholy of always staying trapped, hidden. Just like Hazel. Very interesting that it was braver before the cuts. Perhaps they thought it would make it too obvious? But, too little is obvious for A LOT of their fans, right? I also don't understand, do they actually want people to pick up on it after all, or not? They confuse me so much.

Unless the few of us still imagine all that stuff lol never in my life before have I seen friends act like that but the funniest thing is that I haven't seen people in love act like that either! Will we get an autobiography from them in the distant future, I wonder? Because we should.

[saltminerising]

alrighty here’s my personal take on what kinds of genes go where. not gonna name every gene, especially not ancient genes cause i dont have ‘em memorized at all, just whatever comes to mind as i’m typing

gem mp: shiny sparkly and fancy but in a way that adds a different texture to the dragon, just like gems themselves - i’m talkin irishim, cryface, metalloy, wasp/bee, starcon, glimmer, opal, filigree, genes like those, seems simple to me

baldwin: got a wacky gene? got a gene that looks like your dragon got dunked in the cauldron? got something dangerous or nasty? it goes here. poitox, slime/sludge, lionfish/noxtide, soap, glowtail, firefly, capsule, k*el, that kinda thing. shiny textures and glowing parts are welcome. koi and flecks seem like they would fit as well since they’re patchy and random.

swipp: i really just don’t know. mixed bag ig

coli: i also don’t know, maybe phasar would be at home here with pymorph? possibly venue-themed genes? maybe you could randomly get gembond in crystal pools by getting bitten by that one gem snake, i was gonna put it in baldwin but i think this is funnier

arlo is actually really good at theming his genes. i will leave him alone.

notn: this is where harlequin/jester should go, it’s a shadowy holiday full of trickery (diamond/spade could also go here, same vibe). hell, the actual jester sets are from notn. if we aren’t getting apparel Sets anymore, why not have fancy genes as a treat? stitched/patchwork and fern/paisley also go here for uh, mimicking objects, or whatever fern/paisley is trying to do.

treasure mp: anything else, definitely plain animal patterns (jaguar/rosette, tiger/stripes, petals/butterfly, thyla) and general flat color stuff (cherub/seraph, savannah/safari, fade/blend, contour, underbelly, stained, ghost). sparkly flat color stuff as a treat (flafla, sparkle, runes), treasure is sparkly too y'know.

and there we go! that’s how i would sort genes. now you know what i, random anon, mean when i say something doesn’t feel like an [x] gene but more like an [x] gene. it doesn’t mean i’m broke. it means i think of the genes differently than staff and it feels like they assign genes kinda random values. yes it could be how difficult to draw they are, but personally recreating stuff like metalloy is a breeze for me while pintrail has me wilting so idk maybe maybe not. ok thank u for ur time ik this post is long

[weebsinstash]

Okay so thinking of Val….

Reader overdoses, and ends up “dead” in hell. They maybe spend months down there working for Val, and just when they start to find a groove, maybe just as Val is about to make his move- BAM! Reader wakes up in earth in the ICU.

Meanwhile Val was just about to be handed a drink by his favorite server when they suddenly just disappeared? Wtf???

Reader might try and turn their life around, might try to use this second chance to aim for heaven this time knowing now there’s an afterlife. Or they might just give up, and try to intentionally return to hell.

I just love the thought of reader trying to do better, and Val having to drag them back to hell himself.

Ok but seriously, because I actually had a conversation with someone once about the idea of a Reader who is in that exact sort of situation, is basically in limbo, and Val gets so fucking upset you're still alive he deadass sends people to kill you "to bring his baby back home"

Like imagine you're in Hell doing shifts at the strip club and then you do contract work for I.M.P and one day you just snap upright in bed out of a medically induced coma back on Earth and some time later your old boss Blitzo just jumps out of nowhere while you're at the laundromat "oh hey, fancy seeing you here! sorry but, kinda gotta kill you again! A jobs a job right?" and you're just faceplanting back in Pentagram City before you know it and, like, wouldn't it be hilarious if you fell in the limo/in front of Val/on him a second time. Like jesus christ you're practically a present from Santa Claus. And he's the one who hired IMP to "retrieve you" after all, because, I mean, the way he sees it it's only a matter of time before you're back in Hell and he wants you back just as you were, as he's come to know you. He doesn't want to wait years and years and risk you being different, physically, mentally, emotionally, hell even just aging more. What if you don't die again until its of old age and you're like 96? Not an option, he will physically come up there and drag you back down himself if he has to 🙄

Or some shit like you were ACTUALLY supposed to get into Heaven but there was a clerical error, like deadass on some full absurd humor shit it was literally just that someone fucked up on a form somewhere, and so you're In Actual Fucking Hell and a cherub descends upon golden wings or some shit "yeah, so, im sorry, but, yeeeeah we made a liiiiitle mistake, yeah, no, you can't come into Heaven, you're kind of, already, down here already so, yeeeeah, sorry about that, but, we can give you some cool powers as an apology? Sooooorry, our bad" and Valentino is suddenly slapped in the face with the consequences of you suddenly no longer being so helpless against him. He tries to force you to do something and you somehow overpower him. Maybe you're about to be killed by a business partner of his before your shadow rips off of the ground and mauls the guy, or maybe you even have little demons or creatures contracted to you.

Ngl there's a story I keep thinking about where it's kind of just a big power fantasy but, Reader develops her own powers and she decides that down here in Hell, the only safety is in strength and numbers and starts her own little, kind of crime family of her own. Some real anime "we're all down on our luck and I came to your aid and now you're deathly loyal to me and we're all like family" kind of shit. You start operating in the shadows. A girl who's worked ages for Valentino gets tossed to the curb by him, and you're swooping in, "hey, I could use an actress who's good at using her looks to gather information. You need a place to stay?". One of the Overlord's goons makes a mistake that botches a deal and suddenly Valentino can't care any less and throws the man out, maybe even has him roughed up or even killed first, and upon his respawn when hes at his lowest in the gutter, there you are, "hey, you looking for work?"

You just keep amassing followers and making legitimate business connections and spreading your "new criminal name" around until, you're literally incognito as a server listening to Valentino bark on the phone "I don't care what it fuckin takes, I want you to find this son of a bitch" and I think it's funny if you become like a legitimate mobster and he only knows you by your street name and assumes you're a like an older dude like some real grizzled Italian mafia shit or something and you eventually do the Dramatic Chair Spin Reveal and he finds out this great big thorn in his side is. You, looking all cute and proud of yourself in your special tailored outfit and your being and your confidence as you stare him down and basically declare war (and maybe this like has the opposite effect and he's actually really turned on by the idea of you thinking you can go toe to toe with him and he really wants to show you what he thinks of that sexy little number you're wearing and show you your place)

Like, not exactly for Reader im general but an overall I guess MY Reader idea would be, Reader's street name is Big Blue (since Val's colors are associated with pink and red, his "rival" is thus blue) and you eventually get your own like, signature look and vehicle and all that. Valentino has his customized big pink limousines and meanwhile you're cruising around in with your goons in like a big souped up van like a real glorified shagging wagon like you're the goddamn Ninja Turtles or the Mystery Machine like, you build a BRAND. You meet Valentino on equal footing for the first time and it's him having a meeting with some of his crime partners and one or two of them is like "oh wait, we're waiting for one more person" and there you are strolling in, taking advantage of the situation to know Valentino won't take you down in front of his coworkers who you have also won the good favor of. And you just take your seat in your little navy blue pantsuit where you have that like, that one sexy look going where it's a suit with a dress shirt underneath and both are unbuttoned really low and you don't have a bra on, like, sort of look (that's just the quickest link I found for multiple examples lol)

You're sitting there puffing a blunt the size of a Cuban cigar and emanating power as you've got two absolute shit brickhouse bodyguards/hellhounds standing loyally behind your chair and you're thinking Valentino is really quaking in his high heeled boots as you show him how you can't be pushed around anymore and meanwhile he's just like internally thinking "damn she got them titties hanging out and everything, got some nice heels on too, lookin nicer than when she worked for me tf, where did this come from, suits looking nice, rocking that ice, why tf she never fix herself up like this for me 😤" and getting real jealous if another criminal at the meeting is trying to flirt/fuck w you

Why is it that I always give my longest ideas on asks for things totally different 😅

[northlight14]

Ok so while it’s not my least favourite episode (cough cough happy campers cough cough) I genuinely really hate the episode Western Energy of Helluva Boss. It has a lot of potential definitely and a few good moments but for me that was kinda where season 2 noticeably fell off for me and only recently has it started to come back and I’ve started to enjoy Helluva Boss again, though admittedly not as much as season 1. So in the sincere hope this post isn’t going to result in me getting sent death threats, I wanna share how I personally would improve the episode

Mine and other people’s biggest issues with that episode from what I remember is that the pacing is just honestly horrific because they tried to fit in too much into one episode. And then also just that the B plot was boring, ridiculous and made Luna into a literal dog. I know that Luna’s voice actor was dealing with some stuff at the time which is why she wasn’t in a position to do any voice acting which is fair enough but there was such a better and easier way to get around that which I’ll get to in a minute

First things first, I’d have the episode split into two separate episodes, the first episode being released focusing on Blitzo and then the second focusing on Moxxie and Millie rescuing Stolas. The first episode starts where the I.M.P gang are gonna go and do an assassin mission (I say this because at this point in the series, the Imps haven’t been on a killing mission since Ozzies and even then it was just a throwaway thing at the beginning. The last time we saw them actually do their jobs was Cherubs or arguably Truth Seekers but I don’t really count they since they weren’t hired to kill D.O.R.K.S). We maybe then get a throwaway line about how Luna can’t help because she’s doing something else, doesn’t want to, or my personal favourite, she’s with Octavia for the day because she got told that Octavia’s parents are out talking about their divorce and she’s being her emotional support for the day. That way, even though we aren’t seeing it, we get some subtle development of their sister relationship behind the scenes.

Anyway, just as they’re about to go, the Imps get a call from Stolas about how he’s being kidnapped and Blitzo is just like “ok I’ll go deal with the killing, you go deal with him”. The rest of the episode follows Blitzo on the assassination mission and all that, potentially getting some subtle hints about things not going great with Moxxie and Millie but Blitzo is obviously too wrapped up in his own shit to notice and also we maybe play on those insecurities about him being alone, or scared of losing people. Maybe some aspect of the mission makes him run into an addict and that makes him think about his sister, hence why he’s so eager to find her in Happy Campers.

Anyway, Blitzo gets the mission done and everything is good except he and then the audience sees Stolas being rushed to the hospital, and we get the line “he can get hurt?” And boom end of episode. No one knows what happened or if he’s ok

Cut to the next episode which follows Moxxie and Millie saving Stolas and we’re finally allowed to know what happened. A few details I’d change though would be keep Strikers intimidating presence rather than just making constant jokes and comments about how cool and hot he is or whatever. Some of that is ok but in this episode when Striker is literally kidnapping one of the main cast, and he’s the only one who has the ability to actually kill that character, it shouldn’t feel like the show itself is in love with him.

Second, use this opportunity to focus on how well the M&M’s work together and their individual strengths. It’s such a minor detail but it annoys me, why the fuck was Millie the one distracting a dude in one scene while Moxxie was going on a killing spree in the background when it’s been shown multiple times that their strengths are when that’s reversed. On top of that, there can also be some hints about what their weaknesses are while working together etc. idk I just want the M&M’s fleshed out more in terms of how their differences work as a couple as well as when they’re apart

This second episode would go back and forth between the M&M’s and Stolas and Striker but for the most part everything else would be the same. The M&M’s obviously save Stolas and he gets sent to the hospital. That’s when we get to see the text messages between Stolas and Blitzo, then end of episode

Hope this made sense and obviously this is just my opinion. Remember, just because you like something doesn’t mean you can’t critique it or say how it could be better. And you’re allowed to disagree with me, this is just how I would’ve went about it

[milli0n-dollar-fool]

spoilers

since mr gaiman said we could maybe write our notes as we watch each episode i’m going to start doing that because i need to understand what happened the whole season LMAO im so distracted by ep*s*d* s*x

Episode 1 – The Arrival

The thing Crowley is holding looks like the thing he used to stop time

His hair is GORGEOUS

He’s so bubbly and wholesome

Aziraphale didn’t know he was helping to make the stars

This is why Crowley wanted so badly to go to the stars with Aziraphale last season

Crowley sort of refers to Aziraphale as kind of below him? Like rank-wise (note Aziraphale is a cherub?)

Aziraphale looked so hopeful introducing himself to Crowley then he doesn’t even tell him his name LMAO

HIS EXCITED SQUEAL

Is this how he wanted to watch the world go in season 1? From space with Aziraphale?

Not aziraphale thinking Crowley was referring to him with the “look at you, you’re gorgeous”

“and I think you’ve done an excellent job” shoot me now

So this is what Crowley is like with a will to live (JOKING)

“stars everywhere” didn’t he say that in the “what are they putting in bananas these days”

Help the music sliding down when aziraphale breaks the news I didn’t notice that before

Crowley’s face

‘call it a nebula’ HE’S SO PROUD OF IT

‘if I was the one running it all’ *immediately looks around nervously*

‘how much trouble can I get into just for asking a few questions’ honey you’ve got a big storm coming

THE STARS RAINING AND THE WING AHHHHHH

Love David tennant getting his name before Michael sheen in the credits

We didn’t see the blimps or raining rabbits in this season – s3?

Switched little sign thingies

THE SIGN CROWLEY WROTE ABOUT CLOSING TIMES AHH

“hello Maggie” HIS VOICE IS SO GENTLE

“what if I were to take these Shostakovich records without paying for him” HE SAYS IT SO MISCHIEVIOUSLY  

Also I love some of shostakovich’s pieces

“I’m very good at forgiveness, it’s one of my favourite things” PARALLEL TO “I FORGIVE YOU” RAHHH

I like how you can see crowleys eyes behind his sunglasses

“frozen peas” he’s not letting down his man aziraphale

She has her order memorized AHRIOAA

Head empty no thoughts goob intro

HELP ME THE BARE HUG SQUEEZE I WOULD RATHER DIE

STOP LOOKING UP AND DOWN AZIRAPHALE

‘near one particular person’ ‘no certainly not’ bffr

Was the something terrible thing heaven hunting him down

His smirk at “his royal smugness is in trouble that’s so sad” AHHHH

“you’re funny. I love you” hello?

The fly in the box heh

Aww his face after ‘what box’

I will die for Muriel  

TONE OF VOICE

“go back a long time’ ok

‘because there’s a naked man there?’ JEALOUSSSS

“is it something I can help you with?’ JEALOUSSSS

So like we were right about Crowley eating/drinking really fast

“purely selfish action’ not very angelic of you

I wonder what the rest of his keys are for

HIM PUTTING HIS GLASSES ON THE HORSE LMAO

“ask him properly” I jumped

“I am dusting” HE JUMPED LMAO

Dartmoor sherlock reference I see you

Arguing 25 minutes into the show I see

‘precious, peaceful, fragile’ man

‘if you refuse to help me you’re at liberty to go’ paralleling ep*s*d* s*x is gut wrenching  

“no, I would love you to help me” im crying he really is picking up the pace

How long was that blue car out there for  

Ngl him smiting everywhere was kinda

“you’re misunderstanding me uriel” “im understanding you very well. You think somebody should be giving orders and that someone is you” PARALLEL TO THE END

I unironically love Michael

Crowley looks so tired in his Bentley :(

For a sec I thought we were going to get traitor traitor Crowley  

The way he sprawls lmao

Beelzebub trying to find the man theyre down bad for lmao

The way they converse comfortably instead of Crowley being afraid of Beelzebub  

Aww Maggie being sheltered :(

GOOD OLD FASHIONED LOVER BOY

“theres only room for one of us in this lane and it’s not you” crying

I love how nina remembers people based off their coffee order – That’s Mr Six Shots of Expresso

“my bad” aww

The way he was listing when he did the I was wrong dance WHAT HAPPENED

Were those the years of the flashbacks I’ll check later (1650, 1793, 1941)

I love the dance I need the backstory

“very nice” rolling

“together” im crying

Parenting is going well

‘it would barely move the dials’ okay

They look so determined

Their smiles when they thought they did the miracle right aww

And theres the end of the episode folks what do we think

[dearchose-reblogs]

OK SO...

The new trailer for helluva boss dropped a few hours ago and like... there are some shots I might draw. Wanna highlight the frames I like the most

Here's the video for you to watch Link

First off, I LOVE the new character's designs so much ����

Then, we get so cries that make me cry too. I believe this is Blitz's mom

Then... BLITZ??? You protecting stolas???????

I can't 🥹💕

As always, I love Stolas

We get more backstory, but If we look at the colours all the same with Fizz and Verosica, with the frame, this might be an allusion like in s.1-e.6 or perhaps the power of some character. Maybe it's the power of one or all the cherubs?

And now, just some heart breaking stuff with the line "I make everyone's lives worse. I don't want to be this way... not forever." Like- VIVZIE!! WANNA KILL MY SOUL???? 😭😭

I CANNOT WAIT TO WATCH ITTTTTTT

*Cry*