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#ok i’m only 17 but all the shows i used to watch the actors were older than me
aromanticmara · 8 months
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why am i the age of some of the percy jackson actors. when did that happen
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greatyme · 10 months
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hi bestie 😇✨ i'm anticipating some of ur answers and seeing if i get them right btw: 1, 13, 14, 17, 24 🫶
HEY BESTIE thx for giving me a reason to talk abt some of my favs hehe <3
1. favorite main couple
Right now… HIRA AND KIYOI…….. this specific dynamic isn’t that common imo but it will always get to me. I feel like no one gets them the way I do (except us lowkey..) and I have been Forever Changed after watching utsukushii kare. They as characters are a metaphor for devotion and love in its purest form👍
13. BL you think is overrated
Ok now that only friends is over and even the fans are mad abt it I can probably say that one lol. As soon as I realized the show wasn’t silly (and it didn’t need to be… idk) I was like nvm this isn’t for me. Ppl were writing so much analysis which like go you I respect it but I am not reading all that for a show idc enough about lmao
14. BL you think is underrated
SECRET CRUSH ON YOU IS MY GO TO ANSWER FOR THIS LIKEEEEE y’all this is CAMP!!!! IT IS SO OVER THE TOP IN EVERYTHING IT DOES!!!!!! It’s the silliest bl I can think of but also does its serious moments really well. Once you learn to embrace the cringe (see: camp) it’s honestly REALLY good… so why do I feel like ppl skipped over this one! Also recently: I FEEL YOU LINGER IN THE AIR. Mint ik u just watched it so U GET IT but the fact that 10 million people aren’t talking abt it confuses me. At least it’s popular in Thailand. While we’re at it I’ll throw in kimi no koto dake mite itai bc it’s short and sweet & has one of my fav confession scenes ever <3
17. Best kiss
This is so tough bc I’m allowed to say ANY bl… tbh whenever I answer these ask games I’m incapable of giving just one answer so yes I’m abt to give multiple answers again. First, obvo the obligatory bad buddy rooftop kiss which I watched over 200 times. I mean come on now. It’s iconic for a reason. But ASIDE from the OBVIOUS answer… mayhaps the seanwhite rooftop kiss, DEFINITELY the HIStory2: crossing the line locker room kiss (the BEST locker room scene in a bl do not play), the cake kiss in HIStory3: trapped, the yaijom rain kiss, and bc they’re my favs… the utsukushii kare season 2 finale kiss which was perfect. I am not immune to recency bias or my favs blinding me (I’m right tho).
24. dream actor pairing
Not to be basic but I feel like I already have my dream actor pairing w offgun <3 I’ll say even tho this is a bl ask game in another timeline we got filmlove after 2gether… milklove (& soon namtanfilm) are great tho!
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inky-thoughts · 2 years
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10 13 and 14 for the hi, I’m not from the US ask :)
10. most enjoyable swear word in your native language?
for me personally? "Himmel, Arsch und Zwirn!" if phrases from a dialect I usually try to avoid like a plague counts (I'm just very delighted whenever someone actually uses that phrase, it's so funny), if not "Scheibenkleister" which was my dad's go-to swear word when he wanted/had started to say "Scheiße" but us kids were around so he had to turn it into something else bc didn't want to teach us "bad words", and then it just kinda stuck.
13. does your country (or family) have any specific superstitions or traditions that might seem strange to outsiders?
it's generally considered bad luck if you wish someone an early happy birthday! mostly because you don't want to jinx people to die before their birthday afaik, and while I absolutely love it that people elsewhere are considerate of you to wish you an early birthday and it's not like "oops I forgot it was your birthday BUT I STILL CAN WISH YOU HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY!!" how it oftentimes turns out here, I still can't quite get myself to wish ppl a happy early birthday.
14. do you enjoy your country’s cinema and/or TV?
it depends, but generally speaking, not so much, or at least the more recent (2010 onwards) ones when it comes to cinema. it doesn't help that you oftentimes only have the same 6 actors in the leading role and the plot gets so formulaeic. I really liked our kids/teen movies (can't really talk on the recent ones), one of the big part was that they pretty much always have child/teen actors for the roles and it doesn't get in this weird "they look 25 (bc the actor is 25) but are supposed to be 17". teens look like actual teens. My personal faves were Die Wilden Hühner, there's also generally older movies that are just. good. so good. (can't believe that I'm calling Goodbye Lenin old lmao)
for series, again kid's tv is generally good but idk how much is 100% german, there's many shows that are co-productions and they were very enjoyable as a kid and now when I get in contact with them again, they hold up quite ok. (also I have so much respect for Sendung mit der Maus it's almost unhealthy) there's some (1) crime shows i like to watch, but even there I'm quite picky. In general I like that they aren't as over-dramatised as American police proceduals, they are often even quite funny (and no it's not Tatort, I'm talking about Mord mit Aussicht). Mein Leben & ich was a teen series that I loved to the bones as well. (again, this is all taken from someone who hasn't seen kids TV in quite some time, or German entertainment in general)
also fairytale films? I still prefer the Czech ones bc a landslide but from the 2000s onwards there were a few made by ARD that were quite good. also I want to say that we do have quite good satirical shows
hmm yes I think that's about it.
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absolutebl · 2 years
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This Week in BL - Japan WINS
July 2022 Wk 1
Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying the most.
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Ongoing Series - Thai
Triage (grey) Ep 9-11 - I got caught up! Finally we switched POV to Tol. I’ve been waiting for this. Also more time with the side characters - who knew Sing is a total badass, and a great actor? I guess it’s OK that Tin is mostly absent or in a coma. One of the greatest things about this drama is that all of the characters are complex but not necessarily likable more pleasingly flawed. TinTol give a great mutual kiss. (Look some of us have been waiting 5 years for it!) Episode 10 Slayed me! The twist on the person fixing the timeline was very clever. Jinta = The ultimate BL Shipper: turns back time so his boys can be cannon. Also teaching Tol a lesson in forgiveness and communication.This is a CLEVER show. 
Love Mechanics (Sun WeTV) Ep 3 - My messy cheeky drama-llama boys are back in spades. I’m enjoying this more than I should. It’s crazy to compare to Check Out because they are basically the same premise airing at the same time, but LM is just SO MUCH better. YinWar sheesh, why so good? Seriously tho, Vee you bisexual identity crisis is going to break this poor little gay boy, you georious flirty cheating fucker.  
Unforgotten Night (Weds on GaGa) Ep 3 - boring ep this week, nothing happened, not even one leathery whiff of BDSM, this is my sad face. TRASH WATCH REBORN!
Sky in Your Heart (Fri YouTube) Ep 6 - How they managed to make aggressive courting, one of my favorite tropes, still boring defeats me. That said: sick and needy Dao was cute. Meanwhile, Prince is an actual prince, who saw that coming? Everybody. Their kisses are sweet, tho. Having 2 faen fatals for Prince is a bit much, I mean I like both actors but...
Thai linguistics corner: If you want to hear frozen register spoken, that’s what Prince’s maa speaks to tease Fah in this ep.
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On a different note I think both these shows would have been VASTLY improved by cutting each set back to 6 eps each and then cross cutting between the two couples like the Why R U? or Dark Blue Kiss approach with 12 eps total. Just call the whole thing Star & Sky. Each couple would have been less boring and frustrating if focus were split, and the pacing would have been a lot better too.  Why do I have to tell GMMTV how to do their fucking job? 
Even Sun (Wed iQIYI) Ep 2 - the language is fun in this one (they too switched to chan/nai so I’m guessing it’s and organized crime thing), the cast is excellent, the boxers mildly interest me (no, not that kind) and BounPrem’s chemistry is unmatched, but... I still don’t like it. *shrug* 
Check Out (Sat IQIYI) Ep 5 - Candy is THE MOST confusing character. But this show is just messy, it’s not even hot. Sigh. 
My Secret Love (Sat YouTube Sat) Ep 6 - honestly I only still watch this because I have a checklist of bad BLs to get through on Saturday before I post this and this is on it. It did get sexy more and faster than I was expecting.  
Oh My Sunshine Night (?) - Ep 1 I admit I didn’t try very hard to find this. OhmFluke are one of my original biases, but honestly this looks to be yet another one of their serious+sad+meaty ones. While I love that they are handed high drama (because they are one of the few Thai pairs that can legitimately handle it) it’s not what I enjoy in my BL. I might wait until I know how it ends and binge later? Not sure what to do here. 
For me, most of the Thai stuff is pretty lackluster right now. 
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Ongoing Series - Not Thai
Minato Shouji Coin Laundry (Japan Weds GaGa) Ep 2 - oh it is GREAT but I spent the scallop scene upset about the one left on the grill turning rubbery. Beautiful 17-year-olds are all very well and good but don’t fucking overcook seafood! Shin is the most aggressive flirt ever. Baby boi is persistent, gotta give him that. Minato is gonna have to hurt him bad to cut him lose. I don’t want that but this is Japan, they will probubly go there, don’t get comfy - never forget Japan’s brand is, in the end, emo. 
JAPANESE LINGUISTIC CORNER: I gotta say one of the things I am LOVING about this drama is that gaga is giving us names+honorifics in the captions. Shin call’s Minato-san appropriately but Minato runs the gamut. I mean he fucked up from the get go going so casual with Shin he dropped not just to no honorifics but to a nickname. To be fair, with a 10 year age gap Minato can do whatever he wants, but also Minato kinda gave Shin license to crush with such casual informal affection from the start. (The fact that Shin saved Minato in his phone as Akira though - boy’s got balls fursure.) But it’s Minato jumping between Shin, Shin-kun (annoyed and/or formal distancing) and Shin-chan (childish and demeaning) in some sort of desperate attempt to grapple with his own feelings that I love SO MUCH. Honestly, this is like a master class in use of Japanese honorifics from all angles and as an intimate part of narrative. I can’t wait to see what Minato calls Shin next...  
Senpai, Danjite Koidewa! (Japan Fri Viki) Ep 3 - look, I admit it, like SCOY this dynamic (super awkward pining uke) is one of my least favorites - high cringe factor. I prefer a pining seme for power differential reasons. I mean this dynamic has been done okay (see the yaoi Desire) but only really when the seme is a bumbling sunshine himbo type. This one is just painfully awkward and cringey. I’m sticking it out though, because I can’t fault Japan’s quality, moot pining is better than single sided, plus it got HELLA kinky allasudden (that submissive fantasy in A TEMPLE?). Okay so there is a priest kink, this is the first time I have seen a version of that in a BL. Everyone say “thank you Japan for slipping more kink into this dumb office set sweet romance than Thailand’s billed BDSM drama has in its little finger.”  
Love in Spring AKA Spring of Crush (Korea grey) Ep 14 Oh it is not good but also weirdly fun in an old-fashioned way, like Hercules or Xena level of acting and quality. I understand it ends as either bromance or there’s no/dead fish kiss. So my expectations are really low. Want to See You (Vietnam YT) Ep 6 - I’m behind, I’ll get caught up tomorrow. Talk to @heretherebedork about it. 
Plus & Minus (Taiwan Viki & Gaga) Spe 13 SPECIAL - Drunken husbands after the wedding was very cute, then there were some flashbacks and an odd cross dressing dream. It’s fine if you want more time with the main couple, but doesn’t add anything to the story. Not necessary to watch. The rest of the “eps” are actually just bts. (full review here) 
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Finished this Week
Old Fashion Cupcake (Japan Mon Viki) Ep 5fin - I very much loved this, but I found ep 5 a tiny bit of a let down. It reverted back to pretty standard light Japanese live action yaoi, of the style I talk about here. I did expect a bit more intimacy from this one: at least showing the two of them cuddling in bed together or something super domestic, if not kissing. I get why they brought it back around to pancakes but this is me, I wanted more sexy. I wanted to see Togawa’s thirst satiated. I’m not surprised or upset, this is still an amazing, comforting, unexpected gem of a show, but it’s not the 10/10 I thought it was going to be at the end of 4. Solid & watchable. 9/10 Full review here. DEFINITELY RECOMMENDED 
KinnPorsche (Sat iQIYI) Ep 14fin - FINAL THOUGHTS: VegasPete were in one drama; KimChay were in another; KinnPorsche were in each of those randomly but then sometimes in their own extremely slapstick cheese-fest alt-reality + Tankhun. There were clearly 2 directors with 2 distinct and conflicting points of view, who apparently never had a single conversation with each other. Was this show good? Nope. Was it absorbing as fuck? Sure. Was it well acted, absolutely. Were the sex scenes great? Yes. We the fight scenes awesome? Actually yeah (special props to Jeff for the hand-to-hand stuff). Did I enjoy the kinky bits? Certainly. But all that said: the VegasPete universe of KP was the only universe I really enjoyed and would like to revisit, and I only got that 1/5 of the time. Thus mathematics dictates that I, at least, am still waiting for the perfect mafia BL. I think it might be up to Japan at this juncture. Gevn fan fervor, I don’t really know how to judge this show but I have to go with my heart, and KP didn’t win it. 7/10 No full review here on tumbr but I did post one to MDL. RECOMMENDED WITH RESERVATIONS (some of them around the fandom) 
To My Star 2 (Korea Viki) Ep 9-10fin - this was never going to be my favorite, too much pain, not enough payout but there IS payout and it does end happily, the finale was lovely. Did they talk enough for me to think they won’t still have problems - no. But for some it really worked. 7/10 Full Review here (I just updated my original TMS review, since the two must be watched together). RECOMMENDED WITH SERIOUS RESERVATIONS 
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Gossip
GMMTV is doing *something* with the holy trinity (SingtoKrist, TayNew, OffGun - yes Singto is back, although he hasn’t rejoined the stable) + the scions (BrightWin). They’re being uninformatively annoyingly secretive about it and I don’t do weird Thai promo stuff. But it’s on their YT channel.  
Fluke Natouch (OhmFluke UWMA etc...) & Judo (The Miracle Of Teddy Bear) to star in the upcoming WaGa Creative's medical-fantasy Thai BL, Make A Wish. Has had a read through, no trailer yet. 
New Thai BL End of Love announced based on a y-novel of the same name, cast with unknowns. 
China rumored to be doing a bromance remake of Addicted Heroin as My Family Won the Lottery where our boys have girlfriends and just SOMEONE STOP THEM. 
One of my absolute favorite Japanese BL actors Hio Miyazawa (from His the movie) is rumored to be taking on the lead role in the movie adaptation of Makoto Takayama’s autobiographical novel Egoist to be released 2023. He’ll be opposite super famous actor Ryohei Suzuki. This is about an openly gay but vein and superficial man (Hio) who falls in love with a personal trainer (Ryohei) who is stuck taking care of his sick mother. It’s not BL, it’s gay coming of age and we can’t expect it to end happily. Still, I’ll probubly try to watch it. Japanese movies are notoriously difficult to get ahold of, tho. 
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In Case You Missed It
MeMindY's Love in The Air (Thai BL ensemble pulp) starts on August 18 on GMM25 and they will drop it Fridays on their YouTube for international. Trailer. 
Next Week Looks Like This:
Gameboys 2 is coming to GaGaOOLaLa weds, check your territory. Vise Versa starts on Saturday on GMMTV’s YouTube channel. War of Y has semi started or something? I don’t know what’s going on. They gotta stop this weird flash 3-24hr drops on YT. It’s just maddening. 
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This week’s best moments?
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Ah, the famous quote returns. 
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This goddamn angel-child is going to kill Minato first and then all the rest of us. 
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KP paying a visit to the gayest bridge in Thailand. 
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VegasPete, just THEM. 
(last week)
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blessednereid · 3 years
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Pity the Living
Daniel Sharman x Reader Series
A/N: The Much Requested, and By Requested, I mean @rogershoe wanted me to write this, MY DANIEL SHARMAN FANFICTION!!!!!! The character that Y/N plays is based on my OC for FTWD and is not an actual character in FTWD. Basic Premise of the setting for this chapter is that they're in high-school/ secondary school. But for the majority of the story(minus flashbacks) it's set in 2016/17 when s3 of FTWD was filmed.
Story Summary: When (Y/N) (L/N) reunites with a high-school friend on the set of the job she's been working on for the past 2-3 years, not only is she excited to work with the guy who inspired her to go into acting, but to hear about what he's done since she's seen him. But the more they talk, the more she realizes, this reunion is not going the way she had planned.
CW: Cursing? brief mention of alcohol, anxiety, mentions of food, fake dagger, fake blood, bets,
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Career Day
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Most of the students around you were chorusing to the tune of your school anthem, but not you. You had heard the melody and sung it almost a million times. Whether you were exaggerating or not, not even you knew. Instead, you were whispering and laughing with one of your best friends, Daniel Sharman.
You met Daniel when you first came to the school. You didn't know many people. You didn't even know yourself in this place. It was a completely foreign experience, but he stuck by your side and showed you around.
Since then, you had made friends, joined the swim team, learned your way around the school without ending up in the boys' restrooms instead of the girls' ones. Despite not needing Daniel to show you around anymore, he still provided plenty of comedic support and pick-me-ups and was a great mate all around.
Your teacher had just finished introducing all the parents who were presenting at career day. The assignment being after the presentations were finished, you were supposed to think about what you wanted to be in the future. You had no idea what you wanted to be. But of course… Daniel did.
"An actor."
"An actor?" he nodded. "Like Macbeth?"
"No, Macbeth is a character. An actor is a person who plays the character."
"Why an actor?"
"Dunno. Just seems right."
You frowned. "Huh, that's nice. Knowing what you want to be."
"You could always try acting. It's worth a shot."
"Hah, if I ever tried acting, it would probably be when I'm old, senile, and look like Betty White."
"Oh, come on. You're a great actress!"
"What's that supposed to mean, Sharman?" you gasped.
"Just that you tell fibs and stories as if they were the truth. That's all acting is."
"I DO NOT!"
"How did you convince your mum that your dog jumped onto the table and ate the cake without making any noise last weekend, then?" You opened your mouth to speak before closing it.
"Cat got your tongue?" he teased.
"Shut up, Sharman."
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L/N Residence
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You and Daniel were both swimming in the pool in your backyard when Daniel asked you the question.
"Did you think about it?"
Still floating, you asked, "About what?"
"Acting."
You laughed incredulously. "You were serious?"
"Of course I was." He swam closer to you and pulled your leg down, making you flop around and splash water.
"WHAT THE HELL!"
"Was just trying to get your attention," he remarked innocently.
You coughed. "You had it."
"Picture this," he waved you off. "Us, on the red carpet-"
"Who's red carpet?"
"Does it matter? We'll be each other's dates anyways."
"Why is that?" you asked.
"Because we're best friends."
"What if one of us has a boyfriend or girlfriend?"
He shrugged. "Ok, whatever. We're on the red carpet separately. It's both of ours red carpet-"
"So, does that mean we're in a movie together?"
"Yes, Y/N," he muttered exasperatedly.
"But that's impossible?"
"Why do you say that?"
You leaned closer to his ear. "BECAUSE I'M NOT BECOMING AN ACTOR."
He jumped away from you, proceeding to splash you with water.
"Mark my words. I know talent when I see it."
You sighed. "Could this just be you not wanting to be lonely in the acting world?"
He jutted his lip and spoke in a whiny voice. "Maybe…"
You laughed before splashing a giant wave of water at him. While he still had water in his eyes, you dove under and pulled him down.
He flailed around before his head popped up, and he calmed down.
"WHAT THE HELL!"
"PAYBACK, SHARMAN!"
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Announcement
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The intercom gave a heavy buzz, and static-y noises ran amok over the building before a voice actually came through the speakers.
"Hello, Teachers, Students, and Faculty. Welcome back to school. We hope that you all enjoyed your holidays and got the rest you needed to pay attention in class today," the last part was passive. Your principal gave more announcements for clubs and sports around the school, such as upcoming games or reminders for students to buy the school yearbook.
You were nodding along interested, or looking for interest really when something caught your best friend's attention.
"The school will also be hosting its first-ever play, Romeo and Juliet. Interested people should report to the music room before the end of the week to receive information."
You saw Daniel's eyes widen only moments before he spoke up. "Hey," he waved at you. "You should audition!"
"Daniel, are you insane?"
He chuckled, "No, but I think you'd like it."
You tried arguing, but he wasn't taking no for an answer. "You're the one who said you didn't know what you wanted to do after you graduated. Doing this cannot hurt."
"Yeah, it can't hurt until I trip on my costumes and break my neck!"
"That rarely ever happens," he said exasperatedly. "Ok, how about this? You audition, and if you end up getting a role and actually doing the play, I'll give you fifty pounds."
You squinted. "Do you even have fifty pounds to give me?"
"Do you even have to ask," he feigned shock in the accusation? You gave a sour face before he truthfully answered. "Fine, I don't have it now. But I will by the time the play comes around."
"What do I get just for auditioning?"
"I'll convince my mum to make that cake you like."
"Fine."
"BUT!" he exclaimed. "You have to audition for Juliet."
"You're kidding?"
He laughed. "No, I'm not. You have to audition for Juliet."
"I hate you," you mumbled before sighing a whispered 'fine.'
He gave a toothy smile. "Then we have a deal."
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Auditions
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You reluctantly walked onto the stage, Daniel's widening grin so visible in the audience. He said that he only put his name on the audition sheet so he could watch the auditions. He would've already been gone by the time it was his turn.
"Hello, My name is Y/n L/n, and I am auditioning for Juliet," your lips pressing into a straight line after saying the sentence.
You stammered through your first few lines. "Sh-Shall I speak ill of him— that is my husband?" You said with a laugh.
"Ah," you paused and clicked your tongue. "Poor my lord, what tongue shall smooth thy name… When I, thy three-hours wife, have mangled it?"
You said your following line in an accusatory manner. "But wherefore, villain... didst thou kill my cousin?" you said, though your voice squealed trying to pronounce 'didst.' "That villain cousin would have killed my husband."
"Back, foolish tears, back to your native spring!" Your voice rose and fell several octaves. "Your tributary drops belong to woe, Which you, mistaking, offer up to joy." Fake tears spring to your eyes, your voice cracked, and you began slowly falling against an invisible wall.
You looked down at your paper for what to say next. "My husband lives, that Tybalt would have slain; And Tybalt's dead, that would have slain my husband. All this is comfort; wherefore weep I then?" You wiped your cheeks dramatically.
"Some word there was, worser than Tybalt's death, That murd'red me. I would forget it fain;" your lips quivered, and you sucked in deep, heaving breaths before speaking your line.
"But O, it presses to my memory. Like damnèd guilty deeds to sinners' minds! 'Tybalt is dead, and Romeo--banishèd!" You shouted.
You stood back up in a startling jump, and with a proud smile, you said triumphantly, "And Scene!"
The directors and some students in the audience, especially Daniel, gave a round of applause before the director dismissed you.
You took the steps to the stage and sat next to Daniel as the director called the next student to audition.
"You were amazing! The director might as well have given you the role right then and there."
You laughed, "Hang on, charmer. There were a bunch of Juliet's who literally said that entire thing so… fluently. I stammered through the whole thing."
"But you showed more emotion than anyone else. You only had a week to prepare. The actual show will be like child's play."
"They want people who can memorize and recite. The emotion can be added later, but it's worth nothing if they forget their lines."
"There is such a thing called improvising for a reason," he reassured.
"Who in their right, bloody minds wants to improvise Shakespeare?"
He turned his head and chuckled before waving a five-pound note in front of your face. "Here, I got to go before they call me, but you earned this at least."
"Five pounds for being forced to audition for a stupid play so you can prove a point? Wow, you must really fancy me, huh, Sharman?" you said sarcastically.
"Goodbye, L/n," he whispered before sneaking out the back door of the auditorium.
"Alright, next up. Daniel Sharman!" The director shouted your friend's name a few more times before giving up.
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Headmasters Office
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A week after your audition, you were called to the headmasters' office. Thus is the cause of the curious looks from your classmates. Oohs and Aahs flooded your ears as you grabbed your bag and headed out the door to the front of the school.
When you got to the front of the building and went into the headmasters' office, you saw the Theatre director, Ms Parker, standing behind the desk. "Headmaster Leo allowed me to use his office to do this. Isn't that cool?"
Ms Parker was one of the younger teachers in school. She was twenty-four, and this was her first year teaching after receiving her bachelor's degree in education and a master's degree in music production. A fact she could astoundingly ramble about for fifteen minutes. As proven at the auditions.
"I didn't want to call you to the theatre room. That would be too predictable, correct?" You'd come to realize she was a very eccentric woman. "I have called you in here to inform you that you have been selected to perform in this year's play of Romeo and Juliet."
A wave of shock coursed through your body, and you were sure it reflected on your face. "Are you sure?"
"Darling, I'm positive!- your audition was totally spectacular! So brilliant-in fact- that I am completely sure in my choice to make you our female lead- Juliet!"
"What!" Your eyes widened into a blank stare. Your thoughts were running rampant in your mind. You thought that performing on the stage would be a breeze when you weren't the lead.
"Ms Parker, I didn't actually want the part of Juliet! It's just that my friend dared me to audition for Juliet! Is there no way I can get a smaller part? I'm no Juliet. The show would be ruined," you rambled.
The directors' facial expressions softened, "Darling, you are the only choice. None of the other people who auditioned can even compare to the amount of passion you produced in that audition. I am determined to have you as our Juliet."
You whimpered out an "Ok." Professors had a strange way of convincing you to do extra credit assignments or things that aren't necessary.
"We have a chemistry read for you and a few of our other choices for Romeo after school today. Do you need to contact a parent to let them know where you'll be?"
"Uh, yes, please."
After you made your call, you walked back to your classroom with shaky hands. The class period was almost over, but you had to tell Daniel that you had gotten a part in the show. Not just any part- THE PART!
You shuffled into the classroom reluctantly. All eyes were on you as every student had assumed you'd been in trouble. Either suspended, expelled, or told your parents were going to have a sit-down with the headmaster.
You took your seat next to Daniel before taking out a piece of paper and writing out a note, encompassing the words, "I got the part!"
You slid the sheet discreetly onto his desk. When he read it, his eyes widened, and he quietly moved his hands toward yours, beckoning for a high five.
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First Rehearsal
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After the chemistry read, the role of Romeo was given to a kid named James Mercer-Allen got the part. Though it was more because the directors were starting to become tired.
The next day was the first rehearsal. Swimming season was last semester, so there was no clash in schedules with the play.
"Alright, this rehearsal is to get acquainted with the stage, your fellow actors, and directors," she insisted. "Now, let's introduce ourselves. Can our Romeo please stand up?"
James stood up and gave a brief introduction. You were called on next. You stated your name, "I was on the swim team last semester, and I'm in my thirteenth year. I hope I can do this role justice."
More students stood up to introduce themselves. The entire process took more than thirty minutes.
The next thing to happen was that the rest of the students were called to recite lines for various roles. The only parts that had been cast preliminarily were Romeo and Juliet.
You and James had sat on the wooden stools unless there was a scene going on that needed Romeo and/or Juliet.
By the end of the first rehearsal, the majority of the speaking roles were cast. You went home exhausted but not expecting the conversation that waited for you.
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The Talk
☆◦ 。/|\。◦☆
"We're moving?" you shouted at your parents from your seat across from them in the sitting room. "What do you mean we're moving."
"Honey, your dad got a job in the states, so we have to move," your mother argued.
"But what about school? No school will take me in the middle of the year, and it's my last year of secondary school. I don't want to spend the rest of my last year knowing nobody."
Your dad, the man of the hour, spoke up. "Dear, we're moving at the end of the year. After school ends."
"But- What about Uni?"
"You said you were taking a sabbatical year!"
"Yes, so I could intern in London!"
"Can't you intern in California?" Your mother whined.
"We're going to California? It's the furthest state?"
Your dad attempted to reassure you but failed. "Darling, it won't be that bad. Maybe you'll like it there more than you like it here!"
"I could never like anywhere more than I like it here!"
You agreed to go to your room and spent the rest of the day there. Later on, after you finished moping, you ringed up your closest friends to tell them you were moving. You did that until you were so tired you fell asleep on the phone with Sarah before you even called Daniel.
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Confrontation
☆◦ 。/|\。◦☆
"Why am I hearing from everyone besides you that you're moving?" Daniel appeared out of thin air behind you, and the accusation was an assault on your conscience.
You could lie and tell him that you wanted to reveal that to him in person, or you could just tell him the truth- say you fell asleep. Mix-and-Match? You ended up just telling the truth. "I fell asleep when I was making some of my other calls. I was going to tell you, I swear!"
"Why didn't you call me first. I'm your best friend?"
"That's why! It was too hard. I kept putting it off and putting it off and putting it off because I didn't want to tell you, I don't want it to be true, and telling you of all people would make it feel real."
"Why can't you stay for Uni?"
"I already told my parents I was taking a gap year. I didn't apply to any colleges."
"Crap!" he sighed. "Ok, well, we're going to have to make the most of it. And! You're getting a going away party!"
"Daniel, I don't need-"
"No debate! You are getting a going away party!"
☆◦ 。\|/。◦☆
Opening Night
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Four months later, after all the rehearsals and memorizations of lines. After much running around the entire film department, it was finally opening night, and your nerves were shot.
You were scrambling all morning to find everything you needed. All your costumes were at the school, but you still needed to bring your black leotard, skin-coloured tights, and wear your hair in an up-do style.
You decided to do your skincare routine, but your panic got the best of you, and you forgot what every single product was used for.
Daniel came over and helped you get ready but found you practically hyperventilating.
Your parents drove you both to the theatre, and when Ms Parker told you that Daniel couldn't be backstage, you promptly told her that he was your emotional support. After much arguing, she finally let him backstage.
Around an hour before showtime, the director told Daniel that he had to go wait in the audience if he already bought his ticket or that he had to go do it now.
Before he left, he gave you a pep-talk. "Hey, so one time, I was in this play, and the idea was that I was expelled, and there was a piece of paper I had to give my 'mother,' but I lost it. So we had to improvise, but I couldn't find the paper, and I felt horrible. So just know, even if you forget your lines, you must improvise, and remember, it still probably won't compare to the embarrassment I felt that day. So you can laugh at my humiliation. "
You chuckled, "I will. Ok, go before you get in trouble."
"Ok, me, our parents and all your friends will be in the front row. I've already reserved the entire row. I brought a whole bag of jackets just for that reason!"
"You can't do that," you said in between cackles.
"For you, I'll do anything," he grinned.
A few hours later and the show was almost done. "What's here? A cup, closed in my true love's hand? Poison, I see, hath been his timeless end," you wept.
"O, churl! Drunk all and left no friendly drop to help me after? I will kiss thy lips; Haply some poison yet doth hang on them, to die with thine restorative." You leaned over James and let your hair fall to the side of your head to cover your face. You pulled back without actually kissing James.
"Thy lips are warm."
A whispery voice came from offstage, "Which way?" The cue for you to take the poison, which was actually cranberry juice.
"Yea, noise? Then I'll be brief. O happy dagger!" You grabbed the dagger and brought it near your chest. "This is thy sheath;" you drew the fake knife back three inches from your chest and stabbed it to where the bag of more cranberry juice was and punctured the bag. 'Blood' soaked through your dress. "There rust, and let me die." You fell dramatically onto the altar and waited for the scene to end as the crowd cheered.
After the show, you dashed into the crowd where your friends and family waited for you. Ovations and Applauses were passed, lauded boxes of chocolates and gorgeous roses were given.
When you got to Daniel, he practically tackled you with a hug. "I actually thought you died for a split second. The blood looked so real."
"Daniel, most people don't bleed that fast, do they?"
"I don't know but fear kicked in, and I couldn't make sense of anything."
You grinned and almost went to your parents before Daniel grabbed your arm. "You don't have a date to the Leavers ball, do you?"
"No, I don't. Why?"
He sighed. "Well, I was thinking that you could go with me. I don't have a date either."
You squinted, thinking there was some ulterior motive behind his actions. "Ok, I'll go with you if you give me the money you owe me before then."
"It's right here," he smiled.
Your face scrunched up, but you reluctantly agreed. You only had a month of school left, and you might as well spend it having fun with your friends.
☆◦ 。\|/。◦☆
The Leavers Ball and the Getaway Party
☆◦ 。/|\。◦☆
You were dressed in a light blue, pleated, Mikado prom dress that cut off at mid-thigh. You had black wedges on your feet and a black pearl-beaded bracelet on your arm.
You were wearing a half-up, half-down style that framed your face and a silver necklace with a circle-shaped diamond.
You were sitting in the parlour when Daniel rang the doorbell. He was ten minutes late.
"Sorry," he said when your dad answered it. "I know I'm late. I was picking up Kat and James."
Kat and James were your and Daniel's respective friends who'd started last year after you and Daniel introduced them.
"Hi," you popped out of the shadows. "Alright, Mom, Dad, we're late, so we're just going to get goi-"
"Wait! I have to take pictures! Go get Kat and James."
"No, Mom. No pictures!"
"It's only right. I just want a few. We can take it outside."
You sighed but reluctantly caved into your mother's will.
The four of you took pictures outside of Daniel's Jeep Wrangler. You took ones with silly faces, just girls, just boys, and ones with all four of you before your parents allowed you to leave.
You were forty minutes late, and the ball was already in full swing by the time you got there.
You got on the dance floor immediately because one of your favourite songs was playing, but the DJ switched the song as soon as you found a decent spot. It was a slow song. You chuckled, and Daniel put his hands on your waist.
"Well, this is awkward."
A few minutes later, Daniel posed an interesting question.
"Did you know that I had a crush on you when you first came to school?"
"Uh, you stammered. "No, I didn't know that."
"Yeah, I did. It was short, though. Surface-level."
"Oh," you said. "Should I take offence to that?"
"What?" His eyes widened in realization with what he said. "No, that's not what I meant. You have an amazing personality. I just meant that… I just meant I like you more as a friend than to ruin that with any of those feelings."
"Oh, ok. You wouldn't have, though."
"I wouldn't?"
"No, everyone needs an ego boost every once in a while."
"Haha!"
"And besides, I've had feelings for you at one point too. But it was very cliche, so I tried to shake it as hard as I could."
"Oh?" He raised his eyebrows. "And did you?"
"Like I said, as hard as I could. If it's still there somewhere, it's buried very deep, so much so that I was embarrassed."
"Embarrassed to like me?"
"I mean embarrassed to try and make my life seem like some movie."
"Oh, well, if you did, it would've just made you that much better as an actress. Speaking of that, would you consider acting in the least?"
"Maybe, now that I'm leaving, it's basically the last thing I have to connect me to you."
"No," he said, pointing to your bracelet. "You have that."
You had forgotten that it was Daniel who gave it to you, but the realization brought a smile to your face. "Oh yeah, I'll never take it off."
Later on, long before the ball ended, you saw many of your friends leaving.
"Hey, are you ready to go?" Daniel approached you.
"Where is everyone going?"
He wriggled his eyebrows. "Afterparty!"
"But it's not over?"
"Quit being a party popper and just come with us, L/N!"
You gave in, something you did a lot, and you all started driving. When you got there, you realized you were at Daniel's house.
"The afterparty is at your house?" you asked.
"Well…" James answered.
Kat joined in. "It's really an afterparty!"
"This is your going away party!" Daniel finished.
"But I'm not going away for another month."
"Well, now you have an entire month for people to give you gifts and stuff, and you don't have to worry about the party!" He reasoned.
"But why did it have to be after the Leavers ball?"
"Because you're already in a dress, and it has to be a surprise! Surprise!" Kat exclaimed.
"Alright, fine!"
The entire night you partied and danced, and though you didn't drink alcohol, plentiful amounts of pop and mocktails were passed around. The music was a delight to your ears with all your favourite songs. There were chips and pizza with all your favourite toppings.
"This party is awesome!"
Daniel grinned. "Well, I am an amazing party planner if I do say so myself."
☆◦ 。\|/。◦☆
Airport
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Daniel's parents drove your family to the airport. Your parents had sold the car. Your dad would return in a week to close a deal on the house. Everything was official, and now you were leaving.
You got out of the car, and the tears forcefully began to fall.
"I'm really gonna miss you, jerk," you said disdainfully to Daniel.
He chuckled. "I'm going to miss you more."
"Impossible!"
He wiped the fallen tear from your eye, and for a moment, you could see every single multi-coloured speck in his eyes and noticed how sometimes they looked blue, and at others, they looked grey or green.
You noticed the curvature of his smile and the chisel of his jawline.You saw the hurt in his eyes that said, 'why do you have to go? You're killing me,' and wanted to never move from that position.
He continued to rub the tears that fell onto your cheek, and the sad moment was as sheltered as it could be. You felt safe with him, in his arms, just looking at his face and being reminded of how he comforted you in a place that felt as familiar as Oz felt to Dorothy.
"What am I gonna do without you?" you whispered.
"Get at least one acting job, get an assistant and an agent, I'll do the same thing, and then either one of us has our assistants reach out to our agents, so we get back in touch in case we ever lose touch."
He sounded so grave that you couldn't help but laugh. "That's assuming I do become an actress, Daniel."
"You're right," he whined. "But don't forget me."
"I promise."
And you tried to keep that promise. Throughout your first year, you interned at UCLA, working in the lab. You then applied to go to school there, and you still tried to keep Daniel in your mind. Maintaining a social life on campus combined with schoolwork already wasn't easy. However, you still wouldn't let yourself forget your best friend.
It wasn't until you entered your senior year and you were about to graduate that he started to wane in your memories. The things you did together became obsolete as new friends and memories replaced the old. The things he taught you were thrown out to make space for the new lessons you learned each day.
Even when you did become an actress, you never really remembered why you decided to. You remembered that your friend pushed you to do that play, but it was almost ten years ago, and for the life of you, you couldn't remember his name.
But you did do it, first as an extra, then a body double, and then you started getting l roles on smaller shows. But your big break was getting a quasi-lead role on the spin-off of a big television show, The Walking Dead. For two years, you enjoyed going to conventions and playing the complex character, Valeria Bishop, and you thought you had it all figured out.
But life has a funny way of coming full circle and throwing you a curveball that knows you off course and changes your life.
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calzona-ga · 3 years
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[Spoiler] talks with The Hollywood Reporter about his return to the ABC medical drama and why the surprising reunion with Chyler Leigh had to be filmed via green screen.
[This story contains spoilers from the April 1 "Breathe" episode of Grey's Anatomy.]
The magical beach on Grey's Anatomy just delivered a double surprise.
Viewers knew that Chyler Leigh would be returning to reprise her role as Meredith's younger half-sister, Lexie Grey, but she wasn't the only former star who came back on the show's magical beach. Eric Dane, in a surprise appearance, returned to reprise his role as Lexie's on-screen love interest, Mark Sloan.
Both Dane and Leigh appeared together on the beach as part of a central storyline as Meredith (Ellen Pompeo) continues to battle COVID-19. Dane and Leigh become the latest former stars to return to Grey's Anatomy this season, joining Patrick Dempsey (Derek) and T.R. Knight (George) as the Shonda Rhimes-produced ABC drama continues to focus on the impact of the pandemic on the medical community.
Dane and Leigh's Mark and Lexie appeared for the first time since the season eight finale. That episode featured Lexie telling Mark that they were meant to be as she died from injuries sustained in a plane crash. Mark, meanwhile, was killed off in the season nine premiere as Dane left the series to pursue TNT's The Last Ship.
Below, Dane talks with The Hollywood Reporter about providing closure to Mark and Lexie's love story, being part of Meredith's big storyline — she's now off the vent and breathing on her own — and why his reunion with Leigh had to be filmed via green screen.
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What was the pitch to come back? Had you seen that Patrick Dempsey had come back and wonder if you were going to get a call?
No, I hadn't. I was in Shanghai, China, when Krista Vernoff reached out and said, "I have an idea." She texted me. I said, "Well, I'm in Shanghai, of all places. And I'd love to hear your idea. Give me a couple weeks to clear quarantine and I'll find you." And she says, "How would you feel about coming back? I don't know if you've seen what's going on, but Meredith is in this coma in a fever dream from covid. And she's seeing all her friends on a beach." And I said, "Well, that kind of makes sense. Yeah, sure, let's do it."
Was the pitch for both you and Chyler to return the same episode
Absolutely.
What was it like reuniting with Chyler after all these years?
It feels like I never left. It was very comfortable and very easy, and it was so nice to see a lot of the same faces with the crew. It's a role that always fit for me, like one of those great old t-shirts. And it was just like putting the t-shirt back on and hanging out on a beach for a couple days, and catching up with some old friends.
Did you actually film with Chyler? She's a regular on a show that films in Vancouver, which would have meant she had to quarantine in the middle of Supergirl production to film this.
Chyler was in Vancouver. So we had to work some magic. Chyler could get here but then she couldn't get back to Canada. There was some green screen. There was a lot of me and Ellen. And Ellen an eye line.
Were you bummed that the logistics didn't work out for you and Chyler physically share a scene together again after so long?  
Yeah. I'm honestly bummed you even asked me that because I wanted to sell the myths of us actually being on screen together in person. But don't take it personally. It's OK, you're doing your job. But Ellen and I see each other every now and again, Justin [Chambers] and I see each other every now and again. I spent so much of my life with these guys. When you see them again, it's not a big, "Oh my God, what have you done?" It's like, nobody skips a beat. It's just, everything kind of fit. It fit then; it still fits.
What did you and Ellen talk about between takes?
We talked about kids, my 11-year-old just found Grey's Anatomy and she's asking me a lot of questions which are difficult to answer. We talked a lot about our kids finding this show, and how do we handle that. How do we police what they're able to watch? Are they of age? Is it appropriate? Some of it raises some questions that I'm not quite ready to answer yet. But I don't mind it because both my kids now want to be surgeons. And all their baby dolls they used to play with are now being cut open, and they're stitching up bananas. It's fun.
On-screen, the episode implies that Mark and Lexie wound up together in whatever this special beach is. Shonda Rhimes said back in back in season nine that killing off Mark was the only way for Mark and Lexie to really be together. In Lexie's last dying words, do you think Mark and Lexie were meant to be?
Absolutely. I mean, the line Meredith asks is, "So you guys are together." And I say, "I guess on your beach, we are." But I think Mark would have found Lexie no matter what. Whether it would have been on Meredith's beach or Lexie's beach, or anybody's beach, I think Mark would have found her.
Does this feel like you have closure with this character again? Did it feel like there was any lingering questions that you were really able to put a bow on this time?
I think it all came full circle. The one question I think that everybody was left with was, obviously Mark Sloan saying goodbye to Lexie and she said, "We're meant to be." And then Mark passes on, and we don't know what that meant. And now we know, Mark and Lexie are together in their parallel universe.
As an actor, do you feel like this is the closure that you maybe didn't quite get the first time?
Yeah. I always felt like there was closure. I've always trusted these writers and what they were doing as far as the overall story and the character's departures. They've always handled that really well. I guess the only people that weren't provided with closure was the audience. And I hope that this can do that for them.
Even though you didn't film in the same place, it really does feel that way.
Two-thousand miles of distance between us is not going to the chemistry that happens on screen between us. I know who I'm talking to, she knows who she's talking to. And that translates.
Mark spoke about always looking out for Callie (Sara Ramirez) and Arizona (Jessica Capshaw) and their daughter, Sofia. That felt like something special to be part of, too.
I can identify with that. I lost my father at a pretty early age and I always felt like he was looking out for me — still to this day, to a degree. So those words meant something to me, and I believe in them.
Ultimately, Mark and Lexie help Meredith fight to stay alive in her battle with covid. What does it mean to you to have been able to not only come back, but to do so in such a meaningful way?
It's a pretty poignant moment. I would think anybody speaking to anybody beyond the grave would probably provide the same advice. You get one lap in life, it's very important that you live every day to the fullest. You keep both feet in today, you stay present. And you're there for your loved ones.
Any regrets about not being able to reunite with Patrick Dempsey to bring McSteamy and McDreamy back together?
No. I love Patty. That wasn't the story. There were no regrets. I've never had regrets about anything on the show.
You said in a 2013 interview that you would have stayed on Grey's until the last episode but ultimately left because you couldn't pass up the role in The Last Ship. Looking back, any regrets about asking to leave?
No regrets. Look, Grey's Anatomy is a fantastic show and it provides a fantastic life. I'm an actor, I think it's very unnatural for any actor to play the same character for eight years. It's just counterintuitive to what I think I'm doing for a living and I think what my purpose is with my job. So, as much as I loved being there, and as much as I loved working with the people I was working with, playing Mark Sloan for 17 seasons just seemed like, I don't know, a little antithetical to what I'm supposed to be doing as an artist. And you get to a point where that's all anybody is going to see you as. And even with The Last Ship, I wasn't playing Mark Sloan, but I was playing a guy that certainly looked like Mark Sloan and had some of the same characteristics. And then I took a year off and said I need to mix things up here because I'm not finding any real joy in the work I'm doing. And then Euphoria came along and was very different and something I've never done. And it's going to challenge me and keep me engaged. And nobody is going to expect this out of me, so let's do it.
What's the status of season two?
Season two is going to be fantastic. I don't think principal photography has started yet, but I know we are prepping right now. I think mid-April we start shooting.
Is the plan still to get the show back on the air this year?
I believe so. We do take a long time filming it. And it's a gift to get that much time to shoot an hour of television. We take 30 days to shoot an episode sometimes, which is unheard of. When we were shooting Grey's in the early days, the 10-day episodes that we would get were unheard of. But 10 days and two units, people were like, wow, that's a luxury.
So to return to Grey's and get to spend a few days on the beach and not on set and in scrubs under the gun like the old days must have been a nice final memory of the show.
It was a great couple days on the beach with some old friends.
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mccoyyy · 4 years
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moving this to my new blog so I can pin it again lol
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@stregoni-benefici you are completely correct but I just wanted to expand on this a little bit - also i’m putting this under a read more cause this got a lot longer than i originally thought it would be
sexism: smeyers treatment of female characters throughout the entire series is extremely problematic. like you don’t even need to read deep into the books to see that. the backstories of all her female characters all involve some form of trauma and are significantly more violent than the male vampires (Rosalie and Esme enduring physical/sexual assault meanwhile Edward dies of the flu and Emmett gets vibe checked by a bear).
she also creates the idea that a woman isn’t complete without children/being a mother. every female vampire in the series is desperate for children yet can’t, its mentioned in pretty much every book and extreme emphasis is placed on how tragic this is. a female character wanting children isn’t wrong or sexist at all but the way its written in twilight makes it seem like its something a woman has to do in order to be happy and smeyer pretty much cements this idea by making Bella suddenly desperate to have Renesmee despite showing no interest in children/audibly voicing her thoughts against having children in eclipse and the start of breaking dawn (i’m pretty sure Bella has a line of dialogue in the books where she says something like she didn’t realise it was something she wanted/needed until it happened bit I’m not sure I try not to read/think about breaking dawn)
there’s also the way she writes female characters, specifically Rosalie. its mentioned throughout the series that Rosalie has extreme mechanical skills and multiple degrees in STEM fields but its barely ever shown, and instead her characterisation focuses on being obsessed with her looks (first couple pages of this, written by smeyer for new moon), and being a ‘stereotypical bitch’. for the first three books most of her character/dialogue is based on being cold and rude to Bella. She is unnecessarily painted as the villain for having different views on Bella (quite literally) giving up her life and future to be with a man (which is a whole other can of worms). the same is done to the character of Leah in eclipse/breaking dawn. Leah is a woman in the Quileute Tribe, she has been severely affected by the Cullen’s presence in the area and is painted as a character that the reader is supposed to dislike simply because she doesn’t like Bella/the Cullen’s despite having extremely valid reasons not to
anti-Native - smeyers treatment of native tribes is horrendous. she has profited fr years off of of native american culture for years and has done so without any acknowledgements. furthermore, she also demonises native american teens (especially in new moon) by calling them wild, violent, dangerous and out of control and then uses these stereotypes to create a contrast between the self control and patience of the Cullen’s and make them seem more like the good guys, and the wolf pack being lesser. She does this again with the treatment of Jacobs character in new moon and especially eclipse.
Jacob starts off in new moon as Bella’s best friend. he helps Bella come out of a severe depression caused when Edward left at the start of the book. however in eclipse his character makes a complete flip and he becomes moody, temperamental, argumentative and disrespectful of Bella’s boundaries. his character becomes unrecognisable and despite smeyers claims of a love triangle, it is obvious what the outcome will be. I have seen countless instances of people on this site claiming they hate Jacob because he is a dick/disrespectful/just as unhealthy as Edward. this was done on purpose by smeyer as she uses Jacob to make Edward seem like the obvious and correct choice for Bella. if you need more proof of this, take the scene where Jacob kisses Bella without her consent and she breaks her hand when punching him, Edward swoops in and almost gets into a fight with Jacob for touching Bella without her consent. this is an obvious attempt to make Jacob seem like the villain and Edward the white saviour
there’s also the treatment of the native characters by the white characters in the books. multiple times in the series, the native characters are called/compared to dogs/brutes and have a distinct unpleasant smell. I don’t think I need to explain how this is racist. the pack also helps the Cullen’s/saves Bella’s lives and never receive any acknowledgement/are treated any better by the Cullen’s/anyone really. the pack are only ever used as a way to make the Cullen’s look better.
there’s also some pretty obvious similarities to colonisation with the Cullen’s entering Quiluete lands which then forces them to start phasing into wolves (and I’m pretty sure none of the pack actually want to start phasing). also, remember Leah? the only female member of the wolf pack? because of the change she effectively can’t have children? that has implications.
and to top it all off, after doing all that, smeyer has never once addressed this or even acknowledged the Quileute Tribe.
pedophilic - I mean even without mentioning breaking dawn its pretty awful. first of all you’ve got the blatant sexualisation of minors throughout the entire series. Edward is 17 throughout the series and smeyer is writing literal paragraphs about his chiselled abs. Jacob is 16/17 when she has him running about forks topless with a 6 pack. this is way more apparent in the movies but its still a huge issue in the books and lead to Taylor Lautner being confronted by adult fans trying to get him to sign their underwear, and being forced into being shirtless for most of the movies which made him extremely uncomfortable (Elizabeth Reaser (Esme) briefly talks about this in the ID10T podcast on spotify). and just as a reminder, Taylor was 16 when the first one was filmed and 17 for the second.
Breaking Dawn is a whole other can of worms. the glaringly obvious issue is Jacob imprinting on a literal newborn baby. now the concept of imprinting itself has racist elements to it, but its heavily implied in the series that imprinting will inevitably lead to a romantic relationship. Jacob imprinting on Renesmee and waiting until she is old enough to enter into a romantic relationship (never mind the fact that shes ‘old enough’ she will still technically be 5) is pretty much grooming. The same happens with Quil and his imprint, Claire (a two year old) where I’m pretty sure there’s a scene in breaking dawn where Jacob and Leah are watching Quil play with Claire and talking about how Quil isn’t going to date anyone because he and Claire are ‘pretty much inevitable’ (i might be wrong though, like I said I try not to read/think about breaking dawn)
smeyer has also written a spin off book (its like 250 odd pages) called the short second life of Bree Tanner (Bree is that newborn vampire killed after the battle in eclipse by the Volturi btw). In this book, Bree is 15 almost 16, and another character Diego is 18 which is definitely pushing the boundaries of ok. (also as a side note, funny how Bree and Jacob are literally the same age and smeyer states multiple times how Bree deserved better and is only a child (who straight up kills people), yet when it comes to Jacob he has to be a responsible adult and is vilified for every mistake he makes)
racist - smeyer refused to let Catherine Hardwicke (director of the first twilight) have a diverse cast because she ‘imagined them a certain way’ (white) and it was a fight to get Edi Gathegi cast as Laurent and had to compromise with smeyer to make Bella’s friend group more diverse. this woman straight up refused to hire more diverse actors and only agreed to when they were side characters/villains.
Also in the official companion book/guide to twilight, smeyer literally writes that vampire venom makes you white
‘the venom leeches all pigmentation from the skin into a more indestructable vampire form…regardless of original ethnicity a vampires skin will be exceptionally pale’ (official illustrated guide pg.69)
this is a whole lot of bullshit cause she is literally whitewashing characters, but when you pair this with the idea that vampires possess inhuman levels of beauty it becomes extremely problematic and implies that being pale/white is more beautiful than darker skin tones.
also, if we go back to Laurent’s character for a second. so Laurent is one of the only characters who isn’t described as white (in the books he is described as having a pale olive skin tone) and in the first book he comes across as pretty reasonable (warning carlisle about James/Victoria, travels up to Denali and tries out the veggie lifestyle) but in new moon, his characterisation pulls a 180° (sensing a theme here) and is suddenly trying to kill Bella as a favour to Victoria and is Evil™ despite in the first book he literally says to Carlisle he didn’t particularly like travelling with James/Victoria and was only really doing it for convenience. where did this undying loyalty come from? yet again, smeyer is completely disregarding established characterisation in POC characters specifically to villainise them.
and finally, we have Jasper. for some reason (that reason being that she is racist) smeyer decides to make Jasper a confederate soldier in his human life. if you don’t have a lot of knowledge on the american civil war, the confederacy were the side of the US that seceded from the union in order to keep their slaves. Jasper was a confederate soldier, and not just any soldier, but a major. Jasper was a major in an army that fought for 4 years to keep the existence of slavery (and don’t even try to say that slavery wasn’t the root cause of the civil war. states rights aye? states rights to do what). now there’s an argument out there made by certain fans that a lot of people joined the confederate army out of pride/were forced into it cause of conscription to try and head canon the racism away but like that doesn’t matter. there was literally no need to make jasper a confederate in the first place. if she was so desperate to have a civil war vampire then she could have made him a member of the union. its been common knowledge that the confederacy was racist for a long time now, smeyer has absolutely no excuses here.
a lot of these issues overlap and I have probably missed heaps of issues (so feel free to add on) but hope this helps explain why smeyer can *ahem* get tae absolute fuck
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youremyonlyhope · 3 years
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MAMD
Ok seeing all the rewatchers1000 posts has inspired me to rewatch Me and My Dick too.
It’s literally been a decade since I last watched this. I definitely was in high school. I think I’ve only watched this musical twice maybe 3 times, though I do genuinely love it.
It’s so strange that as a completely naive teenager whose introduction to most sexual jokes came from this musical, and is now greysexual, that the musical still managed to take hold of SUCH a special place in my heart.
Now let’s see if the Old Snatch is still my favorite character or not. I know I used to adore her.
Aww Joey’s a BABY. Oof the sound quality. I don’t know why I had my volume so low. “I love you more than anything... my Dick.”  Joe’s a baby too. “Never even seen a booby” why did that line just kill me. “Good grief” aww. The head tilt! I’ve listened the Apocalyptour soundtrack so many times over the years, that I’m not used to them actually finishing the sentence “It’s me and my dick!” Tell me why I’m singing along to Dick’s lines and not Joey’s? Awwww little baby Jaime. “And if we’re late for class, well I guess that’s ok!” “Is she gone?” “Yeah! I’m gone!” Oh my god she’s a salad. I can’t remember, did we make that into an insult like we did for toaster...
I’m also drinking a hard pear cider that I discovered my bodega sells earlier this week. It’s delicious.
Aww there’s a bit of the trumpet from Listen to Your Heart in the scene transition! The audience reaction to Miss Cooter’s name. Yesssss Ready to Go. Legitimately one of the best StarKid songs to this day. “AgNOooo3″ Aww Ali. Literally a baby. She was the reigning youngest StarKid for so long. “...and it’s only when the Silver and the Nitrogen find all THREE Oxygens that they finally solve the case!” “...Calm down.” Amazing.
God I forgot how short some of these parts were back when YouTube didn’t let you post more than 10 minutes.
Oh shoot how did I only just noticed the “This video is for big StarKids only!” in the description. That’s so cute. They tried. They did not succeed in keeping away the little StarKids.
Ok wait one more interruption before I press play on Part 3. I just noticed that the video says 12 years ago. I just gagged. Ok moving on.
Alle-Faye! She’s so good. Yessssssss The Old Snatch and Flopsy.  “Wide Receiver” I can’t. God I’m so used to the SPACE version that I nearly went straight into Flopsy’s verse after the Old Snatch’s. “What, I ain’t!” Brolden your voice. “Whiles, we’s, waits to be delivered, go ahead cry me a river, we agree that there’s no quid pro quo” That line has always been my favorite for some reason. I just love the jazzy rhythm. The whole jazzy vibe of the show is amazing. “Save your tears for lubrication!” Amazing.  “I know there’s so much more to what I think I see” I keep singing the new soprano line they used in Homecoming. “TOTES JUST TOTED!” amazing. God. That’s such a good song. It’d be the perfect opening number for the show, if Me and My Dick wasn’t the title number and needed in order to explain the concept of the show. Also I never realized that Corey, Arielle, Lily, and Richard are the only “ensemble” in the show. I don’t think I ever realized there were only 12 people in this entire cast... how many were in AVPM... now I gotta check. There were 17. Also there’s 13 in the cast, AJ just isn’t in Ready to Go. Also, Nicholas Joseph Strauss-Matathia. Fave.
“I heard Joey Richter ate his poop because his Dick told him to” What. “He looks like an old lesbian!” I forgot that joke. “I WANNA HAVE CARIBBEAN STUDY WITH YOU!” Iconic. Oh wait. It just hit me that of the 4 (or 8 if you count the genitalia) main characters, 3 (6) are women. Though of course, 2 vaginas are played by men, so it does come out to 4 and 4 for actors, but character-wise, it’s 6 and 2. That’s fun. Somehow this managed to be the most woman-dominant show other than Firebringer, in a way. “Thank you so much, for giving all that up, so I can have that with Vanessa and not with you” Amazing. I forgot that Devin has an operatic voice in this song. This song now makes me think of the time StarKid had a fan join Joe in singing this song at LeakyCon a few years ago. Purposefully to prank a fan with having to sing the least-well-known StarKid song. I will admit it is forgettable. Also the fan somewhat knew the song and stumbled through it pretty well, so all the StarKids were like “That went so much better than we though! We wanted to make a joke but you did it!” at the end. I love that Richard’s entire point in this show is just to make fun of Joey.
Aww. Every StarKid show needs an outdated reference. This time, it’s “I thought you’d go all Britney on me and have a spaz attack.” The sword of Gryffindor is in there. “A stiff outer lip” That probably went over my head as a teen. “Don’t be a stranger” “Never!” Love her. The slow building laugh at “She’s got long, beautiful, flowing hair.” Oh my god sorry I can’t get over how young Joey is, he’s a baby. “Are you nuts?” “A little” adorable. “We’re like Batman and Robin, or Superman... and his dick!” Amazing.
”And by pecker I assume you’re referring to a p-p-p-p-p-p... a cock” Nick my god. Knowing that Devin and Nick were really close friends in college (if I remember the story correctly, he coined “devdevnumnums” at orientation when they met and that was her tumblr url back in the day) makes this song even funner to me. God I love the Old Snatch. Oh my god the pearl necklaces. A costume piece that went over my head. ”Oh you must really be wet... behind the ears! With naiveté!” Lines that went over my head. OH MY GOD. TIFFANY HAS A RED ENV2! I HAD A RED ENV2 IN 2009! Oh my god just squeaked. What a throwback. Aww the Old Snatch.
I haven’t mentioned the blue headband yet, but I love the blue headband so much. “Don’t worry, no one’s gonna have sex with you while I’m here” *sincere nodding* Amazing. I forgot that line until about 2 seconds before it happened. “Do you want me to give you a back scratch?” “No we’re fine.” “No thanks.” I’m dead. THE TEXTBOOK. “She wants to have sex with us.” “She does?” “Yeah.” “Nice I did it!” Amazing. Oh the camerawork when Dick looks to his left for someone else. I’m glad they thought ahead with the camerawork even for their second show. AHHHH THE SOCK. I JUST SCREAMED. LIGHTING A MATCH?? I remembered Flopsy coming out like a monster about a second before it happened. “I’m not gonna fucking sing with you!” Another line that came back to me only just before it happened. Also, Brian looks really pretty with the make-up and the wig. I remember watching that entire scene when I was 14 and PRAYING my parents wouldn’t walk in and ask what I was watching. I was cringing the entire time, but this time it’s funny (and still made me cringe a bit because it’s meant to be awkward).
Awww here we go. The first scene of MAMD I ever saw because I wanted to know why everyone loved AJ so much. “I wish I was born without a dick. Or as a girl or something.” 2009 StarKid is accidentally sort of trans-inclusive for that one line. Sort of. I remember being SO confused seeing Dick run away out of context when I watched only this scene. And In context it’s still shocking. Aww the heartbeat. “Why hello there Joey.” AJ’S A BABY!!! HE’S SO YOUNG!! HE’S A BABY! I literally just squeaked. Oh my god he’s so young. “Wow the nine of hearts!” “That’s right the king of hearts!” “Ew!” “Read this. It’s a Jane Austen novel Joey.” Oh my god I was just talking to one of my coworkers about how obsessed I am with Jane Austen. Why did StarKid stop referencing her in their musicals?  Oh it’s Sense and Sensibility. So is Vanessa the Willoughby and Sally is the Colonel Brandon? Am I overthinking this? Am I slightly tipsy from 2 ciders because I have no alcohol tolerance? I’m gonna go with: they’re trying to draw a parallel there with the Marianne love triangle but making it Joey. I think it works. To my half asleep slightly tipsy mind. “Sometimes, your one true love turns out to be the person you initially... disliked.” Yes definitely, I forgot that line, but I caught on to that parallel correctly. I am SO HAPPY. “When did Jane Austen say that?” In half her novels Joey. Why specifically 223%? I cannot get over how little AJ is! He’s such a baby! He’s so young. Oh my god. So cute. I can’t. BRB gotta see if I can find an example of one of those old AJ Holmes Appreciate Day posts from like 2012 oh my god.
Ok so way back in 2011 and 2012, when a whole bunch of us had our own little group that posted constantly on the StarKidPotter FB wall (before FB introduced Timeline and messed up our system of posting), we used to do an AJ Holmes Appreciation Day and just post things about how awesome AJ was, but in like Chuck Norris 2010s style jokes. I just went back in my Facebook activity to see, and I wrote things like “Apple Juice is only firetrucking delicious because its initials are A.J.” and “AJ Holmes dares to disturb Goyle’s slumber!”
But the one that is relevant and I think I’m probably most proud of: “AJ Holmes doesn’t listen to his heart, his heart listens to him.”
Ok that’s my StarKid fandom history/walk down memory lane/intermission done. On to Act 2!
WAIT A SECOND. I am not done. I had posted “JK Rowling didn’t come up with the idea of Harry Potter, AJ Holmes whispered it into her ear.” and basically, did I accidentally predict A Very Potter Senior Year in 2011... StarKid, should I ask for royalties? (I’m kidding)
OK NOW I’m done and going on to Act 2. Also I have a headache now, which means I shouldn’t have drunk that second cider, I should have saved it for another time. Oh well. I’ll power through.
Oh my god. Dick on the street. Oh my god Nick saying “Fuck you!” over and over. I’m DEAD. Darren’s cameo oh my god. Corey and Arielle are amazing. “Wait that’s just a curtain” Oh, the 4th wall breaks. “Ever since I rescued Weenie from a bird” A BIRD. I FORGOT THE BIRD. Do we get to see the bird? The Land of the Dicks is such a great jazz song. Also flashback to me talking to some girls on the StarKid Takes Manhattan line who were younger than me and them saying “I’m worried they’ll sing a song from MAMD. My mom’s going to come to the concert, and she doesn’t know about that show.” and I said “Don’t worry. They only do Ready to Go or Listen to your Heart live. I mean, it’s not like they’re gonna sing Land of the Dicks. Hahaha” And then Lauren sang the Land of the Dicks. Which was AMAZING, but I remember turning to one of them when the opening started and mouthing “I am so sorry...” God Land of the Dicks is genuinely SUCH a good song oh my god. I hope AJ and Carlos are proud of it. Also oh my god. I gotta throw out some appreciation for Corey. Who honestly did not get the appreciation he deserved from the fandom until we started the Hatchetfield musicals. But I loved him so much in this show. Also Arielle is always such a pleasant surprise. I always forget how prominent she is in this show. I wish she did more things with StarKid. Was she even at Homecoming...
Joey’s face at nincompoop amazing. “Too bad you’ll never be a leading man because of that JAW of yours.” AWWWW. NOOOO WE LOVE THE JAW. “You’re forgetting the most important prop!” 4th wall breaks. “The hour is nigh!” Oh my god. “I don’t wanna see or be seen by anyone today.” Wow. Far too relatable. “THAT IS WAY TOO OVERWHELMING FOR A TUESDAY” the number of times over the last 11 years that I’ve thought of that line... The flower in the shoe and Old Snatch’s “Hows romantic.” I can’t. Oh my god. I just remembered “Raise my children!” “Sometime the best thing to say... is a kiss.” “Good line Joey!” “What?” “The fuck!?” That was the FUNNIEST line to me. “Did everybody hear that? Joey Richter has a limp little dick!” Oh Richard. “Oh my props.” Old Snatch oh my god. “Tiffany, doll, I love ya. But you are the dumbest fucking person, I have ever met, in my entire life” I love that line. And I love that the audience is laughing so hard they drown Nick out before he even finishes. I love the Old Snatch so much.
“Sex sex sex pussy pussy sex pussy sex pussy sex.” “Pussy. Sex.” I’m dead. This whole “pussy time” speech in insane. And so the incel movement began. “The president of the United States can’t even order out for some pussy or else he’s gonna get impeached.” “LEWINSKY.” Oh my god. I definitely did not know who Monica Lewinsky was when I was 14. Amazing. Actually maybe I learned who she was from MAMD... honestly, that’s a very real possibility. “What’s a pussy gotta do when she wants a dick? She just says ‘dick please?’ and the sun is blocked out by dicks.” I remembered sun blocked out line only seconds before it happened, and I was already laughing so hard. Also the caption says *indiscernible, it’s just too funny* for the next line Corey says since it’s completely drowned out by laughter and lost to history. Oof the “sex change” joke didn’t really age well. “Let’s go do jazz squares.” I love how Corey hits Arielle’s head with his hat so hard her beanie flies off.
“You’re a fatty. Joey look at me when you cry, you’re fatty.” “And what a poor choice of shirt.” “It’s the only one I have.” Oh my god Ali taking the tickets. Ahhh the caption says *wind carrying away all of Joey’s hopes and dreams* I’m dead. “Can the choir class come into the room yet?” “Because Joey Richter is CUH-RYING IN HERE.” oh my god. I thought about that line a few weeks ago for the first time in years and it killed me. And “I think he needs to be picked up” adorable. I can’t handle it. “Um, Joey, I love you.” “Thanks friend, I love you too.” Ahhhh help. Oh the audio got so much clearer suddenly for Sally’s confession. “I want all of you, Joey Richter. And all I can give in return is myself. I wish I could give you more.” Awwwwwwwww. That line. “But I... there’s a... wait I....... Shit.” The “shit” on cue with the music, amazing. Ahhh I forgot how cute of a song Even Though is. Hey, StarKid, why cut the parts mid-way through the song!? Stupid YouTube...
“Maybe she is the person who we initially disliked!” Hey we got there. “Listen to your heart.” “NO. You screwed everything up last time.” “And I could very well screw it up this time!” Lily as Sally’s Heart. Adorable. That little curtsy at “and now twenty-first century!” is so cute. I’m glad StarKid didn’t do the usual take-off-her-glasses-and-she’s-pretty route for Sally. “Well that’s probably because our hearts are dancing a waltz to a song in 4/4 time.” I love that joke and oh my god the caption says (Everyone appreciates the joke) amazing. Also I love that the Hearts are like... grasping and letting go of their hands in beat to the heartbeat. Miss Cooter coming out from between her legs oh my god. Joey kissing Miss Cooter. More things that initially went over my head. AHHHH THE WAY SHE PUSHES HER BACK DOWN THROUGH THE LEGS. I SCREAMED. “And that is not the man I see lying in a heap below me.” Yesssss Alle-Faye! Yes AJ! Nick in the background with just a sweatshirt over his Snatch dress, I can’t. “Someone tell him where his dick is” “He’s out to find his dick” That is the most ridiculous number in the show, and somehow it’s the only one that doesn’t have dancing genitalia in it.
“Take a douche, cutie.” “You eat until you are as fat as you are ugly.” “That’ll take forever.” Awww noooooo. “I know there’s someone out there who still thinks you’re beautiful.” “...Mom?” “No, she doesn’t think that” Ahh my heart. “Yeah it’s me, the Old Snatch!” I love her. There are some awkward cuts in this scene that make me wonder if lines were cut, or if it’s just how they edited the two camera angles. I remember singing this song on the street once while explaining MAMD to a friend. It didn’t help explain it. I love Lily as the High Council Pussy. “Pussies from the West are bringing snacks.” Such a fun song.
Oh my god. I will not repeat what the caption just called the High Council Pussy. I will instead call her what the lyrics in the description said, the High Council Pussy. Oh my god. “Rabble rabble rabble” StarKid should bring that back. “I’s dos! The Old Snatch” “The Old Snatch?” “Yeah that’s right, the Old Snatch.” I love her. I can’t handle the caption putting her name for every single line. Oh my god. I’m gonna just call her the Grand Pussy. I cannot. Ok so the Old Snatch says her name out loud. I do not remember that. And that word definitely went over my head as a 14 year old. Oh my god. “Love! My esteemed colleagues. LOVE!... For a dick.” I’m dead. The flopping with the rabbles, I’m dead. “She’s wasting our pussy time” Bringing back that joke. The Old Snatch has Snatch Scouts? Can we hear more about them?? “Because if I’m wrong and a dick can love, what does that say about you?” OH NO. OH NOOO. NO DON’T HURT MY GIRL LIKE THIS. “A dick won’t set foot in there twice.” NO. NO OLD SNATCH YOU’RE PERFECT. “Elder Vag” Ok see, I much prefer that title. Ok the Old Snatch taking off her wig... made me want to make a joke... but I can’t remember the word I’m thinking of and I don’t feel like googling it. I figured out that the word was merkin. The caption said (Flopsy queefs) and I died. “I’s woulds” “The Old Snatch!” “That’s right. The Old Snatch.” Best running joke. Best character. “Hey you, Old Snatch.” “That’s me. The Old Snatch.” I die every time. I forgot that Flopsy’s real name is Myrtle. “We’s gots works to do.” I’m not gonna make the joke. The Flight of the Pussies. I cannot. Also yesss Alle-Faye’s vocalizations (I’m 95% sure it’s Alle-Faye singing the high part).
“He has a dick, it’s not his dick!” Oh Joey. “I got a picture of him, you wanna see it? I take pictures of him.” Oh my god Joey. “There’s a big singing, dancing dick in front of you Joey. I think anything’s possible.” I mean. He really has a point. Ah Corey’s so good. This whole song is SO good. Dick stiff-arming Weenie is amazing. “Get that sad bishop out of here.” Yessss Corey. Awww there’s a gentle instrumental reprise of Me and My Dick playing in the background as Joey tried to get Dick back. Oh I forgot they actually reprise the song!
TIE HIM TO A CACTUS!??!?!? I literally couldn’t remember if the bird comes back, it does. Aww the ba-dum-tss at the Heart pun. “That’s the only way we can work it out. And if we’re all in this together, you can bet on it that we’re breaking free.” “Fabulous!” “Looks like the boys are back!” Will people understand how amazing that joke is in 20 years? Is this another doomed to be outdated joke? I remember when I did Kiss Me Kate in high school, someone had to outline all the 40s jokes so we’d know why they were funny, will someone one day make an outline of all the StarKid jokes from the 2010s to explain them? “Cause I’m just a little boy and you’re all walking pussies.” Amazing. “Today I’ve seen dicks and pussies, walking and talking and flying around.” “You Old Snatch.” “I am the Old Snatch” Love her. I never noticed Joey wiping his hands. “Guys follow me, I’ll take you back to our dimension.” Amazing. “And I want more than that, no. I deserve more.” Yes you do, you Old Snatch. I sort of need to know the backstory now of Big T’s old person and how they ended up being Tiffany’s first time. Tobias and Gladys?? I forgot their names. Ali flying back in with the tickets. Amazing. See I know the audience is laughing, and StarKid probably intended that last little Me and My Dick reprise to be funny between Big T and the Old Snatch, but it’s genuinely sweet. I’m really happy that the Old Snatch gets a happy ending.
”Miss Cooter did you just come in through the window?” “No you’re crazy, go back to sleep.” I don’t love Heaven on Earth as a song, but it’s still fun. Oh my god. I just screamed “JOE” out loud. Because all show I’ve been like “Don’t we see Rick’s dick at some point? Who plays Rick’s dick?” And just now I was doing a mental tally of the 12 13 cast members and I’m like “None of them can play Rick’s dick, they have their own roles to play in this finale. But I KNOW we saw that dick... who was it...” And then JoMo walked onstage. I really just screamed “JOE” out loud when I saw him. Oh my god. Once again the pearl necklace joke went over my head as a 14 year old. I love the audience reaction though, they finally all notice the necklaces at that moment if they didn’t notice them already. Ok I never understood the Palace of Auburn Hills joke. I assumed it was something going over my head when I was younger, but I just googled it and it’s actually just a Michigan joke. Also does JoMo come onstage and then immediately just go off? He’s gone. ”HYOOO!” so cute.
Aww and the Darren version of Ready to Go for the credits.
“And Joey Richter as himself” amazing.
Aww, Darren’s version of Even Though for the rest of the credits.
Ok so the Old Snatch is still the literal best character that StarKid has ever made. I love her so much and I love how Nick plays her. She is my favorite character in any StarKid show I think to this day.
CLARK WAS ON KEYBOARD?!?!?!?!?! WHAT?!?!?!?! CLARK!?!?!?!? YOU WERE HERE THIS EARLY?!?!?!?!?! oh my god. I legit just screamed “CLARK!?” seeing his name.
Also I think I always knew Darren was playing Guitar in the show, especially if he was there to do the cameo, but for some reason it didn’t really hit me until I saw his name just now. That’s so fun.
And Carlos! Yay! I wish Carlos had been able to do more stuff with StarKid.
Sorry, I’m still reeling from finding out that Clark has been in their bands for this long, for basically the entire time. I really thought he didn’t show up until around Starship. I am also ashamed that the fandom didn’t even truly know of his existence until SPACE Tour when he stole all our hearts in the Jim and Povolos section. And even then he wasn’t appreciated until Firebringer.
(Update a few weeks later: I found an old post of mine from 2012 where I acknowledge that Clark has been around since at least MAMD, so I guess at some point over the last decade I forgot that I already knew he’d been around this long.)
While rereading this post, it suddenly hit me that whenever people would ask what my StarKid dream role is, I’d always say Sally’s Heart. Honestly, it still is one I’d love to play.
I’m glad I rewatched it. It definitely is different now as an adult, especially an adult who’s older than all the StarKids were when they did the show. Some parts did not age well in the slightest, but it’s still very funny and the music is incredible thanks to AJ and Carlos (and Darren).
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OK SO, @sugarcoatedsadism, here’s my paracosm (sorry, this will be long, don’t feel obligated to read the entire thing):
I live in Tulsa, Oklahoma with my three older brothers, Darry, Sodapop, and Ponyboy (yes I know these are funny names) after our parents died in a car crash. Sodapop and Ponyboy are their real names. Says so on their birth certificates.
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(Photo of my brothers for reference)
Darry (right) is the oldest; he’s my favourite of my brothers, he’s extremely overprotective and he’s grown up too fast after having to take care of us after our parents passed. He works too much, but it’s for our family. He’s 6’10 and very muscular. He is pansexual. Despite looking tough, he’s a big softie. He’s 21. Don’t underestimate his brain, though, Darry is also super smart. Played football in high school and was Captain. Nicknames include: Superman, Dar.
Soda (middle) is the second oldest; he is a high school drop out, he dropped out and got a job at the DX because 1. to help Darry with bills; and 2. because the only things he was passing were auto mechanics and gym. He’s like me; extremely energetic and can’t stop moving or talking. He’ll be 18 in October. He’s 6’2. Nicknames include: Pepsi, Pepsi-Cola, Sprite, Dr. Pepper, etc. Soda is also pansexual.
Pony (left) is the third oldest; he is very artistic (like me). He’s quite the “I’m 15 and no one understands me.” He likes poetry, art, and he LOVES watching movies. He’s kinda silent, but Soda or I can get him talking really quickly. He kind of thinks Darry hates him because they’re always fighting, but Darry just wants what’s best for us (I understand that, so me and Darrel don’t fight often.) He’s 15 and 5’8. Nicknames include: Pone, Pone-bone, and Horseman. Pony is bisexual.
Then… there’s me! Liam Curtis, the youngest of the four brothers. I’m 5’4, and I have shoulder length blonde hair (much longer than most boys). 14, very sarcastic, and a giggly bastard by nature. Wants to be an actor/singer, and a very animated child. Knows gymnastics (not a big flex, everyone else in the gang does, too). Has a stutter, but it’s gotten much better and it only sometimes happens and usually it’s not too bad. Is very gay and unapologetic. Darry is my favourite brother and I’m his favourite, too. Has night terrors and is part of a tv show. Nicknames include: Lee.
So we move on to the rest of the gang >:)
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Here’s Dallas Winston. He’s the criminal of our gang. He’s real tough and has been to jail several times. He’s really scary and a little hotheaded, but like Darry, he has a soft side to him if he likes you. He’s gonna be 18 in December. He’s around 6’3 (but claims he’s 6’4). He lives with his friend Buck in the upstairs of a bar. He’s from New York and had a rough childhood. Nicknames include: Dal, and Dally. He’s also pansexual.
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Here’s Johnny Cade! He’s Pony’s best friend and also part of our gang. He looks like a cinnamon roll (he kinda is) but he’s a fucking bad ass and isn’t afraid to defend himself. That scar on his cheek he got from getting jumped from a gang of Soc’s (Soc’s are the rich kids of Tulsa, us greasers are not so well off). His home life is rough, so the closest thing to real family is the gang. Johnny is 17 and 5’6. Nicknames include: John, Johnnyman, Johnnycake/Johnnycakes. Johnny is bisexual.
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Here’s Steve Randle. Steve is Soda’s boyfriend. Steve works at the DX with Soda. Steve fucking LOVES cars. Like. Knows everything about them. Steve is um… kind of a hothead and is quick to anger. He once called Darry “all brawn and no brain” and he almost got his jaw shattered by Darry. Will challenge you to an arm wrestle. Has an eagle tattoo on his arm. He’s 18 and he’s 6’0. His mom left him when he was 8, and hasn’t seen her since she left him with his (verbally) abusive father. Steve is bisexual. Nicknames include: Stevie.
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And… Two-Bit Mathews! Two-Bit is, uh, kind of an alcoholic. Really likes beer. Anyway, his real name isn’t Two-Bit, it’s Keith, but everyone calls him Two-Bit. Why? Because he always has to put his two bits in. He’s always cracking jokes, 24/7. He’s awful to get arrested with because he’s always smarting off to the cops. He’s turning 19 tomorrow and he’s 6’1. Two-Bit is pansexual. Nicknames include: Two.
We’re all in a greaser gang together, and we all are very protective of one another. Life has been kinda difficult since our parents passed, but we know we’ll get through it.
(This was a lot longer than planned I’m so sorry).
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samallana · 3 years
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MORE HEADCANON TIME, LET'S GOOOOOOOO
In honor of Wilbur being back, here are some Wilbur headcanons of mine from just before he blew up L'Manberg.
- In the Button Room, there is a stair there that is supposed to represent a chair. Wilbur himself states to Phil that he's been inside the room multiple times - which could possibly be the reason why there is a chair in the first place. I mean. Why would you put a chair in a room you were only gonna use once? And you were literally going to explode it after that one time?
(granted, for dramatic sake, Wilbur could just sit in the chair if Phil didn't show up and watch L'Manberg burn but that's not the point).
My point is that. I headcanon Wilbur just used to sit in there alone to think whenever he had the chance or wasn't busy. Like it was a vacation escape. Sit in there, read the lyrics to the L'Manberg anthem, and drive his mind so far down into a deep spiral so many times that he would come so close to touching that button (which he stated himself). He already had the TNT set up. All he had to do was wait till he had the 'ok' to press the button.
It's a well known fact that no one but Dream knew Wilbur was gonna blow up L'Manberg no matter what. Wilbur was just holding onto his deal with Tommy, luring him into that small last bit of fake sincerity.
We already know Wilbur was a bad person. He wasn't by any means "good" (and if you try to defend him, cc!Wilbur has stated that he takes bad characters and gives them easy decisions - aka, blowing shit up and then dying so you don't deal with the repercussions).
So, along with that chair, it's canon Wilbur used to smoke.
- Next headcanon: The Button Room smelled awfully of smoke from Wilbur's cigarettes.
Since I already said Wilbur went to the Button Room religiously, who's to say he wouldn't bring something that would relax him? The man knew he couldn't blow the place to bits yet, so why not bring something that would keep him relaxed enough to restrain himself?
If I'm correct (and please, correct me if I'm wrong /gen), the affects of smoking is a depressant. It calms the nervous system down, basically. So, Wilbur bringing his ciggs with him and he smokes while just sitting there? I mean. It's, at the very least, an aesthetic.
And the few last ones I got (for what I can think of off the top of my head). Once again, I love bringing real things that the actors did into the roleplay or how the game function works.
- Wilbur threw the chair when Phil was there.
Before Wilbur blew is all up, you obviously have the interaction between him and his dad - Philza.
And during this interaction, Wilbur hits his desk loudly in frustration irl.
I like to think of that as Wilbur throwing the chair in Phil's general direction - maybe even hurting one of Phil's wings if you want to get even more angsty.
Just, the image of Wilbur being so angry at everything, blinded with rage as he prepares to tear everything he'd built up down - including himself - and just taking it out on that chair.
And then finally, after he finally pushed the button, the way Phil kills him.
In game, it took two swings for Wilbur to die with that diamond sword.
So, the way I imagine Phil did it, was slice once sideways (realize that wouldn't kill Wilbur) and THEN stab him through his torso.
It just makes it more dramatic, y'know?
And depressing.
None of this is organized. It's 12:17, what do you want from me? Anyway!!! Wilbur's back, pog. Hope to see how this goes :)
(if you have any questions or anything, totally open for discussion)
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365days365movies · 4 years
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January 19, 2021: Léon: The Professional (Epilogue)
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Hey, look! An elephant in the room! We should address that, huh?
So, recently, actress and Léon star herself Natalie Portman was interviewed about acting in this movie, and she said that the movie itself was fine to act in. It was the response to that work from...y’know what, perverts - let’s not dance around that - that she wasn’t the biggest fan of. It changed the roles she was willing to accept, and her acting style in general. Which makes absolute sense for her to do.
But now, you may understand why this film is...awkward. Because let me clarify something: this is a good movie! But, especially with relatively recent revelations from Hollywood in the last few years, you know that some people enjoyed this movie in a WHOLLY UNACCEPTABLE fashion. Which is...well, again:
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Because of that, this film was gotten a lot of negative attention, then and now. And, let’s also be fair here: I’m not a fan of the fact that Luc Besson put Natalie Portman in this...uncomfortable position in the first place. It’s a little squicky to be putting a 12 year-old in that context, is what I’m saying. Roger Ebert agrees, in the closing statement of his review on the movie:
But always at the back of my mind was the troubled thought that there was something wrong about placing a 12-year-old character in the middle of this action. In a more serious movie, or even in a human comedy like Cassavetes' "Gloria," the child might not have been out of place. But in what is essentially an exercise - a slick urban thriller - it seems to exploit the youth of the girl without really dealing with it.
.Yeah, I agree with that. But OK, if we take that uncomfortable aspect away from the movie (and it is possible to do so), then what did I think? Well, let’s get into that, shall we?
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Recap
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Cast and Acting
Strap in, this one’s gonna be long. Three parts, and a coda at the end.
OK, first I gotta talk about Léon, or rather Jean Reno as Léon. Here's the thing about these heroic bloodshed protagonists; they’re always these cold, reserved badasses with armored hearts that have been closed off by a personal tragedy, from when they were more innocent. But with Léon, we never see that tragedy; we have no idea what makes this man who or what he is. And yet, he still has dimension as a character, hidden depths within an unknown past, and also a surprising innocence injected into him. He genuinely enjoys going to see old movies, he’s teaching himself how to read, we only really see him drink milk, he cares deeply for his plant. And, before Mathilda, he’s lonely, and you actually feel for him? THis is, by the way, despite the fact that the first sequence of the film is him MURDERING A BUNCH OF PEOPLE. And despite that, I really did feel for him in the end there. And while the directing and writing take a part of this, GODDAMN does Reno do an amazing job! He perfectly portrays the nuances of this character, but puts on an incredibly badass demeanor when he needs to. Reno deserves more credit as an actor in the USA, because he’s astonishingly great in his movie, seriously.
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And then...then there’s Natalie Portman. See, back in the wild, wild west of the ‘90s, child actors were ALL OVER THE GODDAMN PLACE. And the vast majority of them weren’t very good, let’s be honest. But in her turn as Mathilda, awkward preteen crush and all, Portman KNOCKS it out of the goddamn park with this portrayal. And by the way...THIS IS HER FIRST ACTING ROLE. Yeah. Holy shit. She’s brilliant, and I’m a little mad that she didn’t get an award nod AT ALL for this role. She’s fantastic, seriously, it’s insane. And yeah, her character and the dynamic with Léon definitely makes me uncomfortable...but maybe it’s because Mathilda is surprisingly believable, acting with a surprise innocence of her own. Seriously...amazing job to Nathalie Portman.
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If Reno was understatedly nuanced and complex, and Portman was talented and emotional, Gary Oldman was BATSHIT INSANE. And holy shit, is he a wonderfully engaging and terrifying villain. This is Oldman dialed up to...eh, 8? You get him dialed up to 10, and I’m pretty sure you get Dracula. But he’s a HELL of a lot of fun here, honestly, if also extremely creepy and frightening. He steals every scene that he’s in, with his speeches, mannerisms, and affectations. He upstages, well...EEEEVERRRYYYYYOOOOOOONNNNNE!!!
And is everybody else in here good? Yeah, they are, but they’re completely drowned out by these three. The acting in this film is wonderful all around. 10/10. I mean that, 10/10.
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Plot and Writing
If I had a single word about the writing, it’d be...French. There are some lines, ESPECIALLY Mathilda’s lines about love, that definitely sound more French than American. After all, this is a French film, and the writer is Luc Besson himself! And other than that...the writing’s fine. Plot’s fine, too, straightforward and all that. I really don’t have much to say about the plot, if I’m honest. And if I had one negative thing to say...yeah, the childhood crush thing is still super uncomfortable, honestly. Still, put in context, it’s a little bit better. And I should mention that, while it’s SUPER CONTROVERSIAL here in the good old US of A, this wasn’t nearly as big of a deal in France. And I should also mention...it’s mildly autobiographical. Yeaaaaaaaah, that blonde girl in the very beginning of the movie is actually Besson’s WIFE. You know...the 17-year-old, who’d known Besson since she was 12 and he was 29, and they started dating when she was 15, and the had a child a year later, before this movie was made. Y-yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
 7/10 here, nothing bad, nothing great. Basically average heroic bloodshed plotline, with some...other elements.
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Directing and Action
Fun fact: Luc Besson’s reception in his home country is mixed, especially early in his career. This is because his directing style is focused far more on spectacle and bombast than it is on emotion. Definitely more American in style than French. And this movie definitely has some of that, although it’s definitely not as crazy as some of the other movies on this list. But some of the shots here are weird, some of them here are crazy cool, and most of them are just great. But this movie still focuses more on emotion and character buildup and revelations, than it does on action. Which is great, but this is Action January, so how was the action? This takes off of the gun-fu genre, with essentially all of it focused around gunplay. And the interesting thing is, while these aren’t the most bombastic action scenes, its the emotion around them that keep you on the edge of your seat and invested. So, weirdly, this might be the movie that’s integrated the action scenes with the movie’s overall emotional tone the most seamlessly. Well...of the English language movies, anyway. Overall, 8/10 here!
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Production and Art Design
START SPREADING THE NEEEEEEEEEEWS, because it’s New York, New York! Most of this film was filmed on location, and it shows! As someone who grew up going to NYC on a regular basis, it definitely feels authentic to ‘90s New York. Which, of course, it is. Costume design, for Mathilda especially, is good, although one or two of her outfits feels a little over-complicated at times. Still, no complaints, really. I love Léon’s tiny glasses, and Stansfield’s suit (plain as it may be). Really, this movie is simply an authentic feeling New York, and there isn’t too much else to say about that. 8/10 again. 
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Music and Editing
Music’s definitely good, including this song by Sting that we hear at the end. Editing is mostly OK, although there are some weird cuts here and there. And...I’m not sure I have much to say about this category. Oof. Sorry, honestly, this is probably a sign of good editing, since it wasn’t obvious. And as for the music, I remember it...but it was mostly overshadowed by the events of the film itself. So...7/10?
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80%! And I’m satisfied with that, honestly!
This movie is built to make you a little uncomfortable while watching it. But, I still believe that it’s a movie to be watched. Good action, prominent emotional development, great acting. This one’s good, and give it a watch! 
Luc Besson, Luc Besson. You gave me a French English-language heroic bloodshed action movie about an older man saving a girl a generation or so younger than him, that also produced a well-known meme on the internet. More, please!
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January 20, 2021: Taken (2008)
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fuckitup-in-style · 4 years
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JULIE AND THE PHANTOMS!
Hey guys, so I just finished watching JATP and I am absolutely obsessed with it! The songs, the characters, the plot - it’s just beautiful how the creators have brought to life this light, whimsical but also very heartfelt and warm show and I am so glad to see the wonderful reception from the fandom here on Tumblr and other social media outlets because the more reception, the more likely the show will come back for season 2 - which, I think we can all agree is something we all want to see (OH, and the TOURRRR)
But I couldn’t help but notice that there is some budding tension in the fandom concerning the controversy over shipping the characters Julie Molina and Luke Patterson, which I have noticed makes a lot of people uncomfortable (and I understand).
But I got some red flags when I saw words like predatory and sickening were labelled to the ship, and specifically to Luke as a character (and the casting team). I also noticed people attacking others for shipping Luke and Julie and I felt like I needed to say something.
So, as you probably can tell, I ship Juke or Jukebox as some people have started to call them (which I think is really cute). I only ship Juke, I do not under any circumstances ship the actors because 1) I dont ship actors as a principal because too many times have actors and the relationships they have held with others in their life been damaged because of people taking the chemistry they demonstrate with their onscreen relationship out of context 2) Maddy is underaged and I don’t ship child actors at all especially with 3) their co-actors, especially if they’re over 18 like Charlie is because 4) they have a very controversial age gap.
Now that I have gotten that out of the road, I was to explain why I ship Juke - and I can’t believe I feel so anxious about defending myself for wanting to see the relationship/friendship explored with Julie and Luke over the seasons but I understand. 
1. The characters themselves are 2 years apart. It’s an interracial relationship and I love the representation with Juke as well as with Willex. Maddy has promoted and publicly shipped the idea of Julie and Luke as a couple on social media and I think that if she was okay with it, than it shouldn’t be a problem (we’re the same age and i could see how, as a actress who would have the emotional and mental capacity to consent to acting out romantic scenes, it would be ok - keep in mind, it is a G-PG teens show so it would be limited to kissing. Wishing for anything beyond that to be presented as canon is wrong and I can admit that without any shame or regret). Julie canonically has a crush on Luke and Luke has canonically confirmed strong feelings/ chemistry with and for Julie. I love seeing this demonstrated when they are singing, songwritng, performing and dancing and even during really soft or playful moments like Unsaid Emily and Edge of Great and would like to see more of these really powerful moments between the two characters as the show progresses.
2. Be that as it may, I don’t want the characters to get together in the second season. I still believe that this show is primarily about Julie and the Phantoms, a band of friends consisting of a girl rediscovering her love and passion for music and continuing to do what she loves in her mom’s memory and three boys who died before they could make their dreams come true. The Orpheum was their first step to becoming legends and I don’t believe that’s over yet.
3. I also love the idea that Charlie and Maddy both have implied that they want Luke and Julie to build a strong, formidable friendship in the show before they even consider acting on any romantic notions and I support this and would look forward to seeing it! It would be great to see how their friendship, and she friendship she has with Alex and Reggie, grows and evolves over the show. Some people might argue that this will be boring and would slow the seemingly fast progress of the bond that has been shaped but I don’t think so.
There is so many subplots for the show to explore based off of what the show creators gave us in season 1:
- The obvious, Caleb possessing Nick. I have seen the Juke shippers jump right onto this one and saying how Caleb (as Nick) trying to get closer and make moves on Julie would make Luke jealous but I think we have seen a bit of that already from when Luke first interacted (kinda) with Nick when he and Julie were talking by the lockers. I think that the Caleb subplot would not only be a good idea to show how Luke will be conflicted with how he feels about it, but it would also show how Julie might be conflicted with her own feelings if she sees Nick presenting a different attitude. As to Caleb’s true motives, this presents the opportunity for some advenutre kind tropes where Julie and the Phantoms have to stop Caleb and save Nick from possession. Both Caleb and Nick have demonstrated an affintiy for performing (Nick with guitar and Caleb with singing) so that will be interesting to see. Also Willie is still under Caleb’s thumb so that will cause some angst and tension between himself and Alex.
- Willie and Alex’s relationship has a chance to develop. The last time they saw each other, Willie thought that Alex was crossing over so I think it will be super cute to see their reunion. (Boo Boo Stewart is a cutie) so I’m interested in seeing him and the Phantoms interact. Also - I kind of want to see him and Julie meet. I want to see if Julie’s ability to see ghosts extends to all ghosts or just the boys (this can relate back to the Phantoms connection to her mother and that can be explored).
- I want Reggie and Alex’s backgrounds to be developed and explored with music and with their friends. They didnt get much bonding moments with her and I want to see their friendship with Julie grow like Julie and Alex talking about relationships and Willie and Julie and Reggie talking about how he sees Ray as a father figure and how this might relate back to his own family history. 
- Carlos knows about the boys being ghosts and I want to see how that will play into everything. I know that Reggie has shown to be playful and indulgent in his ‘Ghost Hunting’ hobby so maybe they can have some fun playing pranks on Aunt Victoria. 
- I want to see Flynn’s character become more involved in the Phantoms and helping Julie reach her dreams but I also want Flynn’s dreams to be introduced and to be explored because she is such a fun and relatable character - and her and Julie’s friendship is pure - and she deserves to have a storyline independent of that or dominant and explored.
- I want more flashbacks too of Carrie and Julie’s friendship, of the boys when they were still alive, of Julie’s mom and how her connection with Sunset Curve was forged. I just think that would be super cool to see.
- Bobby has now seen the boys perform with Julie, finally achieving their dream performance at the Orpheum so I wonder how that will go on. I want to see the boys confront him and I want to see like some real shit going down on why and how he could cheat them out of their music. They were his friends and they died and he stole their dreams, their musics, their very souls laid bare on paper and I feel like that’s some good angst.
- Like I said before, it’s a show about Julie and the Phantoms and they want to make it big. After the Orpheum, it will be interesting to see them go on to play at other venues, tackle getting involved in the music industry and making more songs. I WANT MORE SONGSSS BRUH.
- Guys, if Julie and the Phantoms are going to become stars sometime in the show, they’ll be pretty famous. Like maybe they’re going to be on TV and they’re supposed to be dead and what happens if Luke’s parents see him like Bobby did? WHat will ahppen then?!
- As for romantic relationships (besides Juke and Willex) I want to see Reggie have a love interest or maybe even come out as Bi. That would be so cool! As a fellow bisexual, I think that would demonstrate a lot of representation to not only have a openly gay character (maybe two bec Willie’s sexuality hasn’t been confirmed yet but fingers crossed) but also a bi character. Maybe another ghost ? I want to see more ghosttss.
As for how I want Julie and Luke’s relationships to be explored:
- MORE MUSICCCCCC (because I feel the safetest bet right now considering, I feel everyone agrees that their music chemistry is A+ and gives their performances some fire😉)
- Some shenanagins with them and the rest of the Phantoms (+ Flynn) like them being actual teenagers (the boys were 17 when they died and I think that’s pretty sad as a 17 year old) and showing up at school and Alex dancing with Carrie when she throws Dirty Candy performances. I think it would be funny if the two of them ever met.
- Luke making fun of Nick (jealoussyyy) and him and Julie bickering like they always do. Maybe Flynn and the boys making fun of them both. Flynn will definently want to protect her friend after seeing what a wreck she was before the performance when she thought the boys might have crossed over or gotten destroyed by Caleb’s curse, so she might convince Julie to keep her distance like in ‘Edge of Great’. Alex and Reggie will make fun of Luke def. No questions. It’s what they do best but they love each other.
- Guys, they can’t just ignore Perfect Harmony like - come on. Like, if Luke goes snooping inside Julie’s dream box (because, let’s face it, it’s sitting right there and it’s full of LYRICS people and he loves MUSIC and he loves JULIE’S MUSIC and - yeah, come on.) I also think it would be funny to see more of Julie saying Luke’s name by accident or daydreaming because I thought - ACTUAL TEENAGE GIRL REPRESENTATION!
- More fighting because her and Luke have such strong, dominant personalities and I can see them clashing in the future over the direction they want the band to go in and, more or less, petty teenage stuff.
- Possibly being more diverse with their style of music like in Perfect Harmony and Unsaid Emily. Maybe exploring some really deep and emotional lyrics and changing it up with their performance (although, don’t get me wrong, I LOVE THAT BIT WHERE JULIE DOES THAT HIGH NOTE AT THE START OF THE SONG AND THAN THE BOYS JUST ROCK IN LIKE LEGENDS AND - ) but yeah, I want to cry again like I did in Unsaid Emily so. 
Anyway, feel free to add what you guys most look forward to but the whole point of this was I want this fandom to be a fun, free and safe environment. So don’t ship actors, I don’t support sexualizing child actors and don’t expect Luke or Julie’s relationship to go past the soft, chaste, fluffy kisses you see at 16/17 because it is a kids show and once again because Maddy is underage and her and Charlie’s age gap is controversial. But shipping Juke isn’t predatory because Luke isn’t a predator, the character is 17, 1-2 years older than Julie. It’s a kids show and it’s very tender, very pure and very sweet. We have seen nothing to contradict this so don’t make it something it’s not.
Anyway that’s my two cents so don’t @ me to yell at me, okay?
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bigassheart · 4 years
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Updated TUA Timeline
A little over a year ago, Aidan posted a timeline for the events of the Umbrella Academy on his Instagram. I posted it on this blog at the time and promised I was going to update my TUA Timeline post with that info. Never did. But I am now! So, here it is. The updated TUA Timeline.
Also, there will obviously be spoilers, so don’t read this if you haven’t watched season 1.  
October 1st, 1989 - The Umbrella Academy kids are born.
1993 - Grace Joins the family. This is according to Aidan’s Timeline. Depending on the time of the year, the kids would be 3 or 4 when this happens. This may or may not be when the kids get names. 
1993/1994 - Vanya forgets about her powers. Vanya also trains with Reginald and is subsequently made to forget about her powers around this time. Though we don’t get a specific date or length of time that Vanya trains, the flashbacks don’t appear to show her training for a super long time. I think a good guess would be less than a year for this training, putting Vanya’s age at 4. (This also matches up with the casting for the young Vanya and young Allison roles, which I used previously to estimate this age/date)
1997/1998 - Klaus is locked in the mausoleum for the first time. I am basing this on the casting for the role of young Klaus, which has him at 8 years old.    However, it’s not quite that simple, because when Klaus is talking to his dad in episode 7, he says that his dad locked him in the mausoleum when he was 13. Complicating matters even further, there is a post somewhere out there that took a screen shot of Reginald’s journal with notes about locking Klaus in the mausoleum. (I have not been able to find that post again, so if anyone knows the one I’m talking about and has a link, I would love to put it in here). The date recorded on those notes is 2001. (I don’t remember the month, but I think it was summer) That would have made him 11 years old. It’s possible that this was just an inconsistency in the writing. Or it’s possible that Reginald locked Klaus in a mausoleum on at least 3 different occasions at age 8, 11, and 13. Possibly more. 
2001/2002 - The Umbrella Academy stops a Robbery  I’m basing this on the fact that all the same actors were used for these scenes as were used in the scene where Five leaves, so they can’t be much more than a year younger than that. 
November 10, 2002 - Five leaves the Academy  According to Pogo in episode 1, Five has been gone for 16 years, 4 months, and 14 days. The date in that episode is March 24th, 2019 (according to Vanya). That means that Five disappeared on November 10th, 2002, a little more than a month after the Umbrella Academy kids all turned 13. (This date is also confirmed on Aidan’s timeline)
(Side-note. Remember when Klaus mentions being locked in the mausoleum when he was 13? That means it probably happened not too long after Five disappeared. Holy Fuck Regi!)
2006(?) - Ben Dies OK, this is only a guess, BUT it’s a good one and if you scroll down to the additional notes at the bottom, you’ll see why. 
2014 - Vanya publishes her book In episode 3, we learn that Vanya wrote her book 5 years earlier. (when they were 24) At this point, Ben is already dead and Luthor has not had his accident yet.
2014/2015 - Luther has his accident We’re not sure how long it takes Regi to send Luther to the moon after his accident (days? weeks? months?) so all we really know is that the accident happens sometime between Vanya publishing her book and the moon trip.
2015 - Luther goes to the moon In episode 6, Luther says that he was on the moon for 4 years, making him about 25 years old when he left. Aidan’s timeline also confirms that Luther went to the moon in 2015. 
March 24th, 2019 - Reginald’s Funeral We know this because they tell Five the exact date. 
April 1st, 2019 - Apocalypse (Dear Commission: Worst April Fools joke ever). 
This Brings us to the present. The members of the Umbrella Academy are all 29, except for Five, who is 58, and Klaus, who spent 10 months in Vietnam and is therefore 30 now. 
Additional Notes on the Timeline: 
Five in the Future Five finds Delores pretty soon after the apocalypse (again, same actor, so I’m figuring a year leeway at most). He tells Klaus that he was with Delores for 30 years. That would make him about 43 when The Handler shows up. When Five gets back to the present, he gives a very specific amount of time he has been gone: 45 years. This means he spent 15 years working for the Comission, making him 58 at this point. Five also traveled through history extensively while working for the commission. His last mission had something to do with the Kennedy assassination, which would put him in 1963.  (Quick note on this one - Someone commented on this post a while back with a correction and I was going to go back and do more research so I could correct these numbers, but now I can’t find the post and it’s been so long that I can’t remember what the correction was. So, if these numbers look off, let me know and I will fix it)
1968 - Klaus travels back in time to the Vietnam War Historical Context: This is 3 years after the first American troops arrived in Vietnam and 5 years after Kennedy was assassinated. Nixon was elected in 1968. This was also the year of the Tet Offensive, a massive campaign by the North Vietnamese Army to push the US troops out of the country and ferment rebellion among the South Vietnamese people. This was the big turning point in the war and marked the beginning of the US troops’ defeat. This was also the year of the My Lai Massacre, where the US Army murdered more than 500 civilians in the city of My Lai. This incident was covered up for a year before the American press found out about it.  
Finally, the reasoning behind my guess that 2006 is the year Ben died: 
Klaus mentions that Ben died “young and tragic”
Everyone left the house after Ben died, according to Vanya.
In episode 3, Alison says that they left their mom alone for 13 years. (13 years ago, they would have been 16) We don’t know how quickly everyone left, if it took days, weeks, or even years, so it’s possible that 13 years ago was when Alison left specifically. It could be that everyone was gone by that date. Or it could be that this is when everyone started leaving. 
Diego mentions moving out at 17. Again, everyone left after Ben died, so it would have happened before that. 
Ben’s statue does not have a date on it, but obviously he would have had to be at least the same age as he is depicted there.
We also have the following portraits sequence in episode 1 that was used to show Five’s disappearance and Ben’s death. Here are all 4 portraits.
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Portrait 1 is done when they are all 12 or 13 years old. Everyone looks about the same age in portrait 2, so I’m assuming it Reginald had it commissioned right after Five disappeared. It would therefore make sense that portrait 4 was done right after Ben died. There are clearly several years age difference between portraits 2 and 3. It also looks like there may be another year or so age difference between portraits 3 and 4. Because of this, I would argue that the children are at least 15 years old in the final portrait. Therefore, Ben dies at age 15 or 16.
Last bit of evidence is Aidan’s timeline. Now, the year for Ben’s death is blacked out, BUT we can see the general shape of the numbers. The first number is clearly a 2, so we know that it’s not just a bunch of 0′s as a place holder. The last two numbers are rounded at the top and the bottom. In the font they are using, that gives us these possible years: 2003, 2006, 2008, 2009. 
The placement between 2002 and 2015 is just a little past the middle point, so at first I figured that would mean the year was 2009. HOWEVER, that would mean he died at age 20. The other kids definitely don’t look 20 in the portrait after Ben dies and this doesn’t match up with the comments Allison and Diego make about leaving when they were still in their teens. Also, if you look at the timeline for earlier years, the same space between dates is used across the board, whether those dates are 4 years apart or 9 years apart. 
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Conclusion: I think Ben died in early 2006 (making him 16). 
And that’s all I’ve got so far.
If anyone else has more clues for the timeline, please add them to this post. 
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d-criss-news · 4 years
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Royalties Soundtrack Listening Event | Darren Criss Chat (July 7th, 2020)
Darren Criss 18:02:04
wait ha
Darren Criss 18:02:08
sorry yall
Darren Criss 18:02:12
this is confusing me of course
Darren Criss 18:02:29
this is new for me too friends
Darren Criss 18:02:45
well i'm here but I can't hear shit so gimme a sec
Darren Criss 18:04:00
well I'll just keep typing here guys
Darren Criss 18:04:04
bro
Darren Criss 18:04:07
wilma
Darren Criss 18:04:15
i'm tryin
Darren Criss 18:04:57
21kxuv372ubcprrbpiefadt6i
What was your favorite song to write for the show?
They each were really fun so that's hard to say but Hate That I Need You surprised the hell outta me
Darren Criss 18:05:30
bettic72
darren non capisco un cazzo
anchio pero sti cazzi siamo qui
Darren Criss 18:05:49
genevievephillips
point and laugh at darren
yes let's laugh at him
Darren Criss 18:06:18
2162bkuccm7xje6yfgmuzrnyq
You inspired me to write my own songs 🥺👉🏼👈🏼
thanks for writing the first positive thing I've seen on this. That's wonderful! I hope to hear them!
Darren Criss 18:06:43
clo :)
i love that we are all grandparents when it comes to this
thank you for using the appropriate WE pronouns ha yeah this shit is confusing
Darren Criss 18:08:44
zcvmtsgee5mom80oxeesa4v11
Darren how do you deal with stage fright .... i’ve been preforming in front of people for a while and i i still get scared . Does it ever go away ?
i guess it depends on how big the crowd is. everybody's different but I will say any kind of fright means you care, which is a good thing! Also the thing people forget about performing, for the most part, is you can't SEE the audience, most of the time they're in the dark. That's why performing for friends or in a small space where you can see everyone is much more nerve-racking
Darren Criss 18:08:57
Dana
Darren can we have a royalties tour once rona is over???
wouldn't that be fun!
Darren Criss 18:09:15
emilybutcher30
darren can you start streaming on twitch please haha i love you
ha can't compete with King Urie man
Darren Criss 18:10:06
jake2000w
Darren, I know it’s all weird right now, but do you have any idea when we might see Nerdy Prudes Must Die?
what a good question. I have no idea but I've been wanting to see that show for almost as long as I've wanted to make Royalties. The boys have been talking about that one for a while now.
Darren Criss 18:10:16
jesiqseigle56
Can you like respond .
like yeah
Darren Criss 18:10:27
abbyforsmark
has Darren even said anything on this?
nope nothing
Darren Criss 18:12:39
u6iczx4gua0att2g4kd2vdzwe
Did you write each of the songs with the performers in mind or did you cast them afterwards?
great question. Except for "Also You," which was written with Jackie Tohn for Jackie Tohn, we had no idea who would sing each song. I did the demos for almost all of them and then we had to pitch actors/artists to see if they'd be interested... which wasn't as hard (luckily) as seeing if they were AVAILABLE... which many weren't given the short time we had to make the show. Hopefully we can get some of those folks on for the next season IF THEY'LL LET US HAVE ONE!
Darren Criss 18:13:52
delfi
darren royalties is so good i'm fucking proud of you
thanks for watching it, truly. I know the Quibi thing is strange for people so I appreciate you giving it all a chance : )
Darren Criss 18:14:04
Caitlyn A :)
if you see this kick your shoes off
I would but no shoes
Darren Criss 18:14:27
t59glm18dkw84n64l72jcuvpc
come to the uk challenge
god i wish.
Darren Criss 18:15:39
damn someone said "travel to UK challenge" and I meant to respond "find a vaccine challenge"
Darren Criss 18:17:08
i can't hear any of these songs but I"m just gonna start saying random shit about them
Darren Criss 18:17:16
first off, i really wanted a theme song
Darren Criss 18:17:23
that was a whole thing
Darren Criss 18:19:18
Had to cut through a lot of red tape to make sure we had that silly song in there. We were already in the middle of post production when I finally got it approved, but it had to be under 15 seconds. I wrote 3 diff versions. So glad it ended up working. Theme songs accomplish so much in such a short period of time. Establishes tone. Gives the audience an almost Pavlovian response to the familiarity of the characters... I'm happy with it
Darren Criss 18:20:12
also the "doo doo doo" lyrics are meant to sound like "scratch vocals" when songwriters record vocals with temporary gibberish lyrics with the intent of filling them in with real ones later
Darren Criss 18:22:29
Just That Good was a concept that started the entire 1st season, and it was one of those instant-songs where Nick and Matt told me the title and I immediately had the hook just from those words. That only happens every once in a while and I was so happy it did for that song. The tricky part was writing the rest of it, but the back half of the song with the chorus repeating that one refrain over and over- that was the melody from the get go
Darren Criss 18:23:08
I'll get back to Break it In, kick your shoes/let your hair, and kong later... i'll just go off on this one
Darren Criss 18:23:48
so I wanted to nod to the grandeur of everyone's favorite vampire elf, Jared Leto
Darren Criss 18:24:05
not HIM specifically, but 30 seconds to mars' very BIG music videos
Darren Criss 18:24:29
i dont jared is a buncha self centered nutcases like our guys in SWITCHBACK JACKET
Darren Criss 18:24:37
* i don't think Jared... 
Darren Criss 18:25:38
anyway yeah "so much better..." comes from a lot of the 90s alt rock that I grew up on, and the mix of that sound with a bit of electronic production was an effort to contemportize it as much as possible
Darren Criss 18:26:26
but the rhythm guitar, lots of power chords and high octaves were all harkening to my fave bands like Lit and Eve 6... but put through a strange bizzaro nickleback/creed performance filter
Darren Criss 18:26:55
"make you come true" is obviously a very salacious play on words
Darren Criss 18:28:27
so the only way to make it feel earnest is if we made the track itself sexy as possible. A lot of the songs, even without being written, leant themselves to a certain genre just by the title, and this one was kind of a no-brainer. Sexy mid tempo r&b. And I didn't even know we'd get Jordan Fisher to do it- who SMASHED the vocal.
Darren Criss 18:29:42
lauraacampbell-12
DARREN CHORDS OR LYRICS FIRST WHEN WRITING A SONG?
it's different every time but for this show specifically it's always title/idea first, and then the song comes from there. But that's because we're writing a show, so we have the luxury of getting to write from a specific place. It's much harder to do that in your own life when you just want to pull a title/idea from your own experience of life. I commend people that do that all the time.
Darren Criss 18:30:06
what's NUTS about prizefighter is...
Darren Criss 18:30:24
it was originally a song called LONG RANGER that BONNIE MCKEE sang, who I wrote the song with
Darren Criss 18:30:38
and in the video we had CHRISSY TIEGEN lipsynching
Darren Criss 18:30:44
it was bananas
Darren Criss 18:31:26
we ultimately couldn't use the song because of some complicated writers shit- not too dissimilar from the things we explore in our own show, which is just totally ironic.
Darren Criss 18:32:56
we were so bummed that we couldn't use the song but I'm actually really really happy with PRIZEFIGHTER. I love the song, and I love how it turned out production wise. I love how much of a massive influence latin x rhythms have had across the entire spectrum of mainstream music, so I wanted try my own hand at nodding to it!
Darren Criss 18:33:08
Lara :)!
Ahhhhh so was that the pilot song you were talking about last week?
that's the one
Darren Criss 18:33:45
hbz3jctrg5rwwma640hahffvt
You have inspired me to learn piano I already know how to play teanage dream now
you can thank Bonnie Mckee aka Kimmy Kelly for writing that song!
Darren Criss 18:34:01
ok then there's the k pop song
Darren Criss 18:34:08
honestly i had no idea where I was gonna start on this one
Darren Criss 18:34:22
full props to the brilliant CJ Baran who I wrote this song with
Darren Criss 18:34:39
we were just toying around with very industrial-sounding samples
Darren Criss 18:35:21
and I started singing Edvard Grieg's "in the hall of the mountain king"
Darren Criss 18:35:33
and he was the guy that was like YEAH JUST PUT IT IN THERE
Darren Criss 18:35:46
and i realized, oh yeah, that song is public domain
Darren Criss 18:35:59
and kinda ties perfectly to the nature of Elia Peck and his songwriting... huh.
Darren Criss 18:36:05
So we went for it from there.
Darren Criss 18:36:17
based the lyrics off of what the Neals say in the room.
Darren Criss 18:36:34
and then just wrote a bunch of ALMOST nonense lyrics about things that you could HATE that you NEED
Darren Criss 18:36:40
things like available wifi...
Darren Criss 18:37:01
artistinal mai-tais.... yeah I guess if you really really liked those you could HATE that you NEED them...
Darren Criss 18:37:04
etc etc
Darren Criss18:38:16
but the idea was to have Mariam Hale's character hardly do ANYTHING on the track, since she, as the audience sees, doesn't really have much to offer... so we just built it around this huge track with crazy lyrics that just tees up a tag for her to say without even having to sing: I HATE THAT I NEED YOU
Darren Criss18:38:43
2235n5s2qk5hjsujbhk5ilpva
I have classes in 10 minutes, and I'm not leaving until you dedicate a Royalties song to me.
looks like you're gonna miss calss
Darren Criss 18:39:09
"calss" ha. which is like "class" but like... different.
Darren Criss 18:39:32
alrighty PERFECT SONG
Darren Criss 18:39:38
i really love this song as well
Darren Criss 18:40:02
the reveal of this song is that they keep talking about this "perfect song" they've written
Darren Criss 18:40:26
in other words we're teeing up a pretty big expectation of what a perfect song could possibly sound like
Darren Criss 18:40:36
the reveal of course is that the song itself is in fact just called "perfect song"
Darren Criss 18:40:43
which is ABOUT a perfect song
Darren Criss 18:41:07
and about TRYING TO WRITE a perfect song, and how that's not necessary when you have someone that IS the perfect song
Darren Criss 18:41:20
when we wrapped our heads around that idea, I really loved it 
Darren Criss 18:42:10
you'll notice we reference a lot of incredible songs, almost citing them as perfect songs themselves
Darren Criss 18:42:14
ain't no mountain high enough
Darren Criss 18:42:55
of course leonard cohen's seminal Hallelujah
Darren Criss 18:44:05
and of course Britney's Oops I Did It Again ha ;)
Darren Criss 18:45:00
the Oops being a layered joke of being annoyed with oneself that they AGAIN unwittingly wrote a lyric for already massive song, but in doing so citing yet ANOTHER already massive song... if that makes any sense
Darren Criss 18:45:27
sorry for the typos yall i'm moving fast, i'd never let this shit slide if it wasn't a casual chatroom vibe
Darren Criss 18:46:37
emzlolly1234
Did you know you wanted there to be a romantic thing between pierce and Sara?? :))))
yes that was actually our original "pilot presentation" episode. the one with the song LONE RANGER and Chrissy Tiegen. It was a longer version of what would become episode 7. We THINK it's a romantic thing but you realize that Sara is just playing Pierce to get the song she needs. That was always the premise yes.
Darren Criss 18:46:51
luzmargotramos
if you reply with a single dot I'd probably die
then I better steer clear of any dots
Darren Criss 18:47:04
ALSO YOU was an amazing lightning in a bottle moment
Darren Criss 18:47:09
FULL CREDIT TO JACKIE TOHN
Darren Criss 18:47:22
i always enjoy giving credit where credit is due
Darren Criss 18:48:24
and I came in pretty hot for most of the songs- concepts, chords, style... but this one literally was a simple as Jackie Sitting down and just playing "It's you I love but also you and also you and also you."
Darren Criss 18:48:37
we all just looked at each other going, welp, yup, that's it, jackie you fuckin rule
Darren Criss 18:49:28
the song would have ended up very differently if she hadn't brought that to the table. the original episode and song was "one true loves" which isn't nearly as good of a gag/title as "also you"
Darren Criss 18:49:50
i ended up squeezing "one true loves" into the bridge, but of course, kept ALSO YOU as the main event
Darren Criss 18:50:02
i will say I was also trying to spoof my brother's old band, FREELANCE WHALES a little bit
Darren Criss 18:50:26
if you guys know the song "generator first floor" where they sing ay ay ay ay ay a lot...
Darren Criss 18:50:35
... as a lot of bands and songs had featured at the time...
Darren Criss 18:51:00
i wanted to put them all in one joke. where a band sang not only hey hey hey but ay and EE and AYE and OH and basically all the vowels
Darren Criss 18:51:10
which was where the joke of,
Darren Criss 18:51:20
a, e, i, o, and also u
Darren Criss 18:51:21
came from
Darren Criss 18:51:32
which i'm particularly proud of
Darren Criss 18:51:56
ok let's talk about BREAK IT IN
Darren Criss 18:54:16
lxucxthxrxnx_
I’m a musician myself (not that great lol) what was it like coming up with the melodic side did you play any instruments for the songs?
i played instruments on all the songs except Break It In and I Hate That I Need You, since those were all electronic. That's not to say i played EVERY instrument but I definitely played AN instrument of some kind for the others.
Darren Criss 18:55:34
as for break it in... anyway... yeah that was a blast. Nick Lang and I collaborated with my buddy Kendo who goes by the artist name KingJet.
Darren Criss 18:56:54
Kendo has worked on a lot of legit songs in the hip hop space. For each song I wanted to make sure there was a level of authenticity to what we were doing. I didn't wanna SPOOF the songs. I wanted the songs to sound rock solid and that it would be the LYRICAL CONCEPTS that would be the source of satire. So Kendo was a great guiding light to keep the track as authentic as possible.
Darren Criss 18:59:47
We explained to Kendo the whole joke concept of the song, which is basically just turning the idea of toxic masculinity on its head, and he was on top of it immediately- when we told him that there's this guy that's really concerned that people think he "fucks too soft" he immediately started spitting out lyrics like the hilariously defiant "I'm the KING OF THE HARD FUCK"
Darren Criss 19:00:35
which just killed me and Nick. It was just so juvenile that it was adorable to me
Darren Criss 19:00:57
emzlolly1234
Darren you’ve been here for an hour? That’s the length of royalties man xxx
yeah aint it great
Darren Criss 19:02:21
sophie :)
i personally think you should try your hand at writing a drill song, a british genre of rap that centres around rapping unrelated lyrics in front of chicken shops, personally think it has the right tone for the show for a season two
drill would be siq. I mean, opening the incredible pandora's box of UK based hip hop in general is its own magical wormhole of nuance and history and regional culture. it's amazing. i'd really have to do some homework if I wanted to pull that off!
Darren Criss 19:02:49
cd2gu4ceqx4am9otf9hzwzivs
he’s talking again guys be worried he might write another essay
ok sorry i'll stop
Darren Criss 19:02:51
:)
Darren Criss 19:03:03
cd2gu4ceqx4am9otf9hzwzivs
he’s talking again guys be worried he might write another essay
kidding!
Darren Criss 19:03:39
fsheldens
when darren actually cares about us 🥺
awww i always do! I just wasn't built for internet stuff.
Darren Criss 19:04:20
alpermehdi
speaking of nick how was it to work with nick??
the best. Nick is one of the best things that has ever happened to me.
Darren Criss 19:04:51
chloe :)!
what would be ur karaoke song choice from the show?
mighty as kong
Darren Criss 19:07:32
isa.kowo
How much music theory goes into your songwriting? And did you learn all of it from playing the violin? In what way does it go into your songs?
all GREAT questions. I mean, music theory isn't something you CONSCIOUSLY employ when writing something, it's just that it really helps to know the rules or music when shaping it and trying to maximize its production. And as a matter of fact, yeah, I DID learn most of it playing violin. But when I was playing violin I was ingesting music from the perspective of a student ingesting information, not as a proactive creator putting anything of my own out into the world.
Darren Criss 19:08:07
Honestly I really didn't start UNDERSTANDING music theory until I started writing music for other people, and noticing certain things and chords and shapes had names and that they could be manipulated to accomplish certain things
Darren Criss 19:08:35
so most of my academic musical knowledge came in my 20s when I tried to start doing it professionally
Darren Criss 19:08:52
Nick
first instrument you ever learnt?
violin
Darren Criss 19:09:07
andyruiz080
I'm castin' my love net wide And fillin' every hole in my schedule
ha love that line
Darren Criss 19:09:29
missweggy
Darren are you a big queen fan ( the band lol ) 😂
is the pope catholic
Darren Criss 19:12:00
ChloeOmelia
Now its available, would you change anything?
jesus so much. but such is the nature of creating stuff. there's a great Hayao Miyazaki quote about always having to make new stuff to escape the woe of all the mistakes you made in your last thing... I mean, that's a bit extreme, I feel like we did the best we could given the circumstance but I totally get where Miyazaki is coming from. And in many ways that's everything we do in life. Do your best, know what you coulda done better and carry on
Darren Criss 19:12:36
dj._.quackers
who or what was your biggest inspiration growing up
the beatles. the uk. the 60s.
Darren Criss 19:13:02
Astriddd
Your first original song was "Not Alone". I'm right?
no it was actually a song i wrote in the third grade when I got a guitar for Christmas called "Save The Whales"
Darren Criss 19:14:29
hiiqsbo9358wvfkcjcsgsu4lb
Darren I need an answer it’s been annoying me for days. So was everyone fucking everyone in Pierces old band or was she just fucking everyone seperately??
ha that's a really great question. I figured she was just fucking everyone individually, which is why the band was so contentious but then again I'd rather let your imagination run wild...
Darren Criss 19:15:29
jphxxk5wjnaqnhuv806wmohdt
Darren, I love your taste in music. You should share your personal playlists ... bc everybody needs to know phantom planet 😉
if i actually shared my tastes in music, or actually shared the amount of stuff in my brain at the rate that I want to share, I would never work on or create anything because i would constantly be on the internet and you'd all be over me if you weren't already
Darren Criss 19:16:01
But yes, thank you for saying that, I love me my phantom planet oh so very much :)
Darren Criss 19:16:18
juli.nuttini
could you please answer me I don't speak English and I'm putting ALL my effort into asking you questions I'm going to cry
wow your english is actually pretty great
Darren Criss 19:17:08
I'd like to write a song with Howard Ashman
Darren Criss 19:17:23
dancebaby218
Was kick your shoes off inspired by your Hedwig shoes?
nah cuz that shit was actually comfy
Darren Criss 19:17:55
12169199549
i skipped my clarinet class because of you for the third time :) what can i say to my teacher?
that Darren says you should have gone to clarinet class!!!
Darren Criss 19:18:34
qalektvmexab6gfwibfihwu6b
Could you please answer me. We’ve supported you for years from the uk and we’re staying up for this but it’s totally worth it because you’re amazing!! Molly x
I wish so bad I could go to the UK!
Darren Criss 19:20:01
FUCK someone asked about Sam Farrar and I wanted to answer it but it disappeared... Sam is a homie. one of my very first songwriting sessions was with him and a very famous member of the pop universe... who if I get a season two, I'm putting in the show.
Darren Criss 19:22:00
9nc1yow3iwnp9p3fs4gcvdnsf
what other instruments would you like to learn in the future?
i just need to spend time trying to get better at the ones I've plateaued with. I feel like I got as good as I'd ever get on the guitar when i was like 19. So I've been trying to get better during the Quarantine. Picked up my violin and dusted off that Vivaldi, started doing drum rudiments on my drum pad, and started learning new licks and scales for guitar. Stuff I never got round to doing.
Darren Criss 19:22:27
harefraz
mr. criss sir, what is your top quarantine activity?
playing music
Darren Criss 19:23:26
actually lies. top quarantine activity is learning Japanese. 30 minutes a day. And it's been several months. Almost got Hiragana down, still got a few characters I'm questionable with but with any luck I'll start up on Katakana in the next few weeks.
Darren Criss 19:23:40
224abi6avvottcsacto7vx46a
What about working with Mark hamill ? Insane right
you said it
Darren Criss 19:23:54
t7sxis7855cd329gaa6iyty8v
Any updates on American Buffalo? 🥺👉🏼👈🏼
it's opening next year!
Darren Criss 19:24:09
for the record this is really fun I'm enjoying this guys
Darren Criss 19:26:26
Rachael
How different is it doing a show like Royalties where you're heavily involved in the creative process compared to other projects you've done in the past?
i'd say night and day but that's an understatement. When I did Glee all I had to do was act in scenes, record songs, and go to dance rehearsal. With Royalties, it's that AND casting, doing pre production, post production, notes, meetings, notes, writing and producing songs, location scouting, blah blah blah lots of the stuff that you don't have to worry about if you're not a creator. But make no mistake I absolutely love it.
Darren Criss 19:27:41
Aisha
learn spanish
I'll get there. I already speak a bit of Italian so I wanted the challenge of learning something that didn't use a writing system I already understood.
Darren Criss 19:28:23
rosieellenxx_
I take Music Technology as a subject at school and we have to make a whole song with the sole sample of glass breaking...
sounds fun. loads of things you can do with that.
Darren Criss 19:28:48
21ynx6niidf2amx5nzilihsga
What are your goals for once quarantine is lifted?
hopefully to feel like I used this very strange time well.
Darren Criss 19:29:14
Ok I should probabl get outta here right?
Darren Criss 19:29:41
I've talked a lot about mighty as kong in other places
Darren Criss 19:30:00
so I'll just leave you with a story about "Let Your Hair Down"
Darren Criss 19:30:14
which was the very FIRST song we wrote for the show
Darren Criss 19:30:37
I had a meeting with an artist at a dive bar in the middle of the afternoon
Darren Criss 19:31:10
let's just say I showed up to that very first writer's session very late
Darren Criss 19:31:17
and sober ENOUGH
Darren Criss 19:31:41
wktusw4mcjn910r3eq91zg4k5
darren did you watch hamilton??????
duh last night. so fun.
Darren Criss 19:32:17
anyway I was so relieved that we left with that song at the end of the day. The intent was always to write two songs with the exact same concepts just with different titles
Darren Criss 19:32:50
the chords are the same, just slightly different voicings played on slightly different instruments
Darren Criss 19:33:29
and the idea was that whichever song was funnier, or at least whichever song would be more fun to see in a music video... would be the one that Pierce & Sara write
Darren Criss 19:34:08
"Kick Your Shoes Off" ended up feeling more like a full music video than "Let Your Hair Down" but I LOVE that first song, and hopefully people get to hear the whole thing on Spotify since you don't get to hear the whole song in the episode
Darren Criss 19:34:51
with lines I love like "see my cheekbones, show off my clavicle, I bet you've never seen a ponytail to magical..."
Darren Criss 19:35:39
emilybutcher30
i love that u spelled it sara not sarah
thank you. if you don't already know it, check out Ben Folds' "Zak and Sara"
Darren Criss 19:36:01
OK i gotta get going
Darren Criss 19:36:12
but thanks to everyone from all over the world for joining
Darren Criss 19:36:17
i see you and i say hi to you!
Darren Criss 19:36:23
happy birthday to all the bday kids!
Darren Criss 19:36:33
thank you for spending a little bit of your bday with me
Darren Criss 19:36:39
thanks for checking out Royalties
Darren Criss 19:36:46
hope you enjoy the music
Darren Criss 19:36:53
and hope there gets to be a season 2!!!
Darren Criss 19:37:08
xo to all of you. stay safe, stay inspired. - Darren
79 notes · View notes
warmest-oceans · 4 years
Text
A Non-Paradoxical Moment of Accepting Oneself While Falling in Love with a Best Friend
Set in Phuket, a beautiful large island in southern Thailand, I Told Sunset About You already wins the Best Picture category. The island is magnificent on its own — blessed with emerald clear water, bed of white sand, quiet calm breeze, but the island also has the charm of its old town scenery. Every shot feels like it was shot in a new world. The combination of laid-back island life with culturally rich town is visually pleasing.
Aside from its excellent choice of set, the storyline is the true gem here. In the peaceful island of Phuket, we’re brought into the not-so-quiet lives of our two male protagonists, Teh (Billkin Assaratanakul) and Oh-aew (PP Amnuaydechkorn). From the start we know that these two best friends are about to be involved in something that’s bigger than themselves, something that’s uncontrollable and something that will change their lives forever.
It won’t be a 10/10 series if the actors can’t bring the golden storyline to live. The actors who play our male protagonists apparently have been friends since they were teenagers, making every scene they act on-screen believable. The chemistry can be seen clearly with a dash of improvisation here and there by the actors themselves and the magical direction by Boss Kuno, the director of the series.
I can’t really wrap up my introductory of the series without mentioning the amazing soundtrack and scoring. We only have three songs as soundtrack (with different versions) sung by our male protagonists, but the quality is top-notch, you’ll fall for it!
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OK, I’m done with my introductory piece. Now, let me gush about this series. To me, I Told Sunset About You has become a coming-of-age story that left a permanent dent in my heart. It’s everything I ask for in a series; a beautiful set, excellent story, magical chemistry, and incredibly fitting soundtrack. Sadly, the series is almost always lumped into BL category, which I find insulting to the series to be honest.
Although I don’t identify myself as a part of LGBTQ+ community, I relate to the series more than I initially thought. Let me be honest, I am INVESTED in this series. Let me just write down the things that I think make this series is in a whole another league.
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Self-acceptance in the middle of everything else
The series is great at delivering the moment of being a teenager who’s in the middle of self-discovery, starting to think about the future (the protagonists are in 12th grade), falling in love (hard) for the first time (on top of that, with your very own best friend!), seeking acceptance and validation, and trying to stay afloat at the same time. The topic seems to be nothing out of ordinary, but its ordinariness that brings up its own charm when it’s combined with excellent character development.
We all go through self-discovery and we all try to accept who we are when we’re teenagers — how crazy it was, restless, tiring, but also exhilarating it was. That’s why I think the series will resonate with most people.
I love how the process of the protagonists discovering and accepting themselves also answers the dilemma of falling in love with the best friend. Personally, I believe that I need to love myself first to love another person (note: if you want it to work and if you want the relationship to be a healthy one).
Thanks to this series I had a pleasure of reliving the experience of self-discovery and self-acceptance once again. No kidding, after I watched the series, I did a bit of self-reflection.
Impulsiveness
I think the first emotion that the series successfully portrayed is the impulsiveness of hot-blooded teens. I love how chaotic and erratic Teh and Oh-aew can be. One day they’re best friend, tomorrow? Who knows. Everything is a mess and everything is truly a collection of fleeting temporary moments.
Nobody in the series got their shit together and it’s supposed to be like that. Nobody figures out shit when they are in 12th grade. Everyone in the series is scattered, explosive, tortured, yet sensitive and delicate at the same time. It really reminds me of my own 12th grade moments!
Most of teens would act out of their gut reactions and that’s exactly what the characters do in this series. They’re not perfectly groomed and planned. So if you’re no longer in your teenage years or maybe if you’re in your 30s, you may find some of their actions to be silly and atrocious even. Tip: try to remember your teenage years. Try to remember all the stupid things you did in 12th grade. It helps you understand the characters.
Jealousy among friends is real and valid
I rarely see a show can realistically execute the side story of jealousy in friendship or even rivalry. Sometimes it’s too mean, sometimes it’s not even brought up (mostly being avoided in a story). I Told Sunset About You portrays jealousy in the most relatable way, through microexpressions. Through Oh-aew’s subtle glance at Teh and Ma or through Teh’s smile when talking to Oh-aew. Really, kudos to the whole team!
Naivety that leads to boldness
I think we can all agree that we’re much bolder when we’re younger, no? That’s because we have this naivety vested in us. Like trying to learn how to ride a bike for the first time, we don’t think much about the risk, we just want to have fun with the bike. We think adults will catch us when we fall anyway.
It’s another thing from the series that makes me fall in love with it. These flawed characters, probably in their 17 or 18, think that everything will be sorted out eventually. While, we adult know that most of the time, we clean our own mess. You’ll know what I’m talking about in episode 4.
Everyone got their own idea of first love
I think love is a complex, hard-to-understand feeling for everyone in every age, let alone for a bunch of 12th graders. Deeply impressed with how the series handles the tenderness and also the chaos of first love. How the series shows different outcomes of loving romantically for the first time is also admirable.
Teh stole my heart. At first, he was so certain about his feeling. He was calm, loving, and patient, the best you could be when you’re in love. But later when he’s in turmoil with himself, he becomes petty, awkward, and impulsive. He thought he loved, but turned out, it wasn’t even the kind of love he’d imagined.
I’m the main character
No character in this series is a filler. Everyone got their own dream and ambitions. Tarn, the female character isn’t just an obstacle between our protagonists. She’s a fully-developed character, an independent woman that works hard for her dream and a dynamic person. Bas, a male character, a good friend of Oh-aew has his own likings and dream. He’s good at some things. He acts on his own. Everyone is the main character in their own world and it’s evident in the series.
Symbolism and color theory
This wouldn’t be one of my favorite series without hidden meanings, symbolism, and color theory. Almost every scene and every material placement is intentional in this series. I won’t talk about it much because it’ll spoil the fun of you finding them.
Nostalgia
I had fun watching, crying, smiling, and laughing throughout the episodes the way they are. Aside from warmth and the feeling of awe, maybe the production crew doesn’t realize that it also makes me feeling nostalgic.
It reminds me of how futile and just fragile some of the moments from my youth were. They looked like big deals when I was in my 17, but now they are just dust. They really don’t matter in the next 5 years.
It reminds me of how insanely good falling in love felt like. It was intense yet tender, messy yet everything fell into pieces perfectly. The feeling that you want to give the person the world, but sometimes that world isn’t what the other person wants or needs. The feeling that you can almost do anything for this person. The suffocating feeling of not knowing what to do, but want to do everything for the other person. The liberating feeling of falling into the abyss. The feeling of surrender… completely.
The series makes me remember how exciting and scary it was when I realized I fell in love with one of my best friends, how confusing it was to even talk to him the next day after the realization. I just wanted to be with him ever since. Nobody could take that away from me and everything just didn’t make sense anymore in my head, just like how Teh and Oh-aew felt.
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As you can see, I only have good words for the series. I hope, after watching the series, you’ll feel various emotions but hopefully… they’re all good and warm, because that’s how I felt. I also think that the production crew tried really hard to deliver a heartwarming series (please watch the documentaries/their behind the scene videos, it’s amazing!). I hope this series can be a newfound joy for you.
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la5t-res0rt · 4 years
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Wanted to ask about beetlelyds, sorry, I thought it was technically cannon? Like in the old comics after the show ended she grew up and married him. Sorry I’m an old school fan and have no idea why this whole thing is such a big deal. Wasn’t the actor like 20 too? I’m sorry if I sound very dumb. I’m not used to this new tumblr.
youre fine you are one hundred percent allowed to especially when you do it civilly as you have done here
first of all the biggest issue faced in the whole what is and is not canon debate is the fact that there are three (four if you count the limited comics run) publicized iterations of my media
i will go over each very briefly just kidding this is going to a long answer so i will spare the dashboard with a readmore
there is the movie which im sure you dont need me to explain the plot since youre an old school fan but basically the climax is that yes beetlejuice does go for the marriage angle in exchange for stopping the exorcism of adam and barbara and his motive for this is so that he can cause as much chaos as he wants on the mortal coil but his plan is thwarted when barbara rides a sandworm into the house which promptly eats beetlejuice sending him to bureaucratic death limbo
the end of the movie features the deetz and the maitlands happily living together with lydia havign a new appreciation for her situation and beetlejuice gets his head made real small which is very funny haha 
so no in the movie they are not canon editors note the actress who played lydia winona ryder was a teenager while filming the movie she turned 17 the year it released 
the next is the cartoon which i will admit has the most grounds for being considered canon but in the end the show is about a middle schooler and her best friend who is a ghost which in itself is a pretty iffy gray area sort of thing but for a childrens cartoon to work a friendship is better than the obvious enemy status they held in the movie
anyway in the cartoon they are potrayed to be very close friends with lydia being the person beetlejuice cares about the most and honestly if you were to watch it with no prior knowledge of the media and if you ignored their massive and obvious age difference than yeah you probably would read it as a romantic relationship 
however lydia is a middle schooler and that is simply immoral
there have been writers for the cartoon who have been credited to say that a relationship is what they were trying to invoke but for obvious reasons they couldnt exactly move forward with that angle with them establishing that lydia is a child in middle school and a fully grown adult man dating a child who is in middle school is immoral and also illegal in the united states and in canada 
this isnt a good argument for whether or not something is canon and i will tell you why with one simple name and that is luke weber
if you dont know who luke weber is he was a storyboard artist on the cartoon steven universe he is known for making a lot of self ship artwork of him and the character pearl
he worked on the show isnt his material canon no of course it isnt it wasnt put in the actual publication and also if memory serves he was eventually asked to leave the project after he drew art of the shows creator giving him permission to date pearl and calling them her otp and a lot of fans hated this because the most generally accepted interpretation of pearls character is that she is sapphic so a lot of people took issue however that again is just a widely perceived headcanon it is never stated what her actual sexuality is no one in that show is because it isnt a show about that its about wait im getting off topic sorry
what im saying is what can truly be considered canon is what you see on the screen and with the cartoon they are definitely the most friendly with each other and that is why so many people in the beetlebabe shipping community take so much stock in the cartoon because it is the easiest to read the relationship between the mas romantic although that is not what the show actually provides in black and white terms
interpretation does not equal canon and in this case no matter what anyone says the fact remains that in the cartoon itself they are friends good friends yes but friends all the same
it is definitely not a show about a grown man grooming an adult and if it were you definitely shouldn’t be stanning it the extreme because grooming a minor is wrong and it is apparently a problem in the fandom
anyway if the cartoon and the movie are both products of their time and there was more leniency on content bear in mind this was the same era as notorious animation powerhouse and known predator john k who was a showrunner on ren and stimpy and he maintained a relationship with a teenager which was an open secret that nobody really took issue with because in that time being a woman in the animation industry was tricky business and your career could be ended easily if you rejected advances luckily time has moved forward and the animation industry although still full of problems of a similar nature at least people are getting called out and punished for it
you can look more into that yourself its really upsetting though
as for comics i havent been able to find good scans of them and im not willing to purchase them but in my search i never found anything about the two of them ever being married in the cartoon again because she is a child i did find a cover where he appears to be getting married and hes asking lydia to get him out of it but im not sure where the comic actually goes all i know is she is standing off to the side shrugging and looking like she doesnt really care
anyway that brings us to the musical which is set in the modern day 
in the original libretto lydia is described as thirteen but since they got an actress who was older in the updated librettos she is listed as 15 and the story is pretty similar to the movie the young girl befriends ghosts and they try to scare her family out etc etc
the major difference between the film and the musical are that lydia and beetlejuice are more like friends like in the cartoon 
she summons him to help scare after the maitlands attempt doesnt really work so he shows up and they have fun terrorizing people together however she drops him for the opportunity to perhaps get her mom back but when no one will help she goes back to beetlejuice who tricks her into almost exorcising barbara
she agrees to marry him in order to stop the exorcism and he only wants to get married so he can be alive again and cause problems on the mortal coil like in the movie in the musical he states several times its a green card thing whihc obviously doesnt make it okay but still
anyway lydia tricks him and runs off into the underworld before the wedding can happen blah blah blah she goes back blah blah and she agrees to go through with the wedding to save her friends and family with a plan to make him go away for good
theres a very tongue and cheek song called creepy old guy which points out how wrong the whole thing is but everyone is going along with it in a very comedic matter and it includes the line 
i cant believe some cultures think this kind of things alright
basically saying yeah this is very very wrong anyway they do get married and beeltjeuice is alive for like 6 seconds before lydia stabs him to death with bad art and he dies thus nullifying the marriage because death do you part etc
so in the musical no at the end of the show they are not canon because he is dead their marriage is nullified and they go their separate ways
anyway sorry about that i just need to make it very clear that these three properties are all very distinct from each other and basically all three are indeed canon since they are publicized material and arguing the validity of which one is pointless editors note all actresses who played with the exception of dana steingold were minors for the majority of their runs as lydia with sophia ann caruso the originator of the role turning 18 during the run and dana being in her late twenties presley ryan however was a minor the whole time and still is one
tldr no they aren’t canon but to the credit of some people in this fandom their interpretation isnt too far of a stretch thanks to the era and some of the writers wishing to imply a relationship between an adult and a child
i also need to address how this is all a big deal and i suggest you take a peak through my discourse tag and check out @leedia‘s blog to see some of the more harmful things done by beetlebabe shippers
the beetlejuice fandom is home to many minors after the musical came out since musical fandom is vast and the ages of its members varies and normalizing pedophilia is harmful to them not to mention the people who have been effected by sexual harassment at the hands of adults
both sides have victims of csa but one side continues to perpetuate the cycle by showing time and time again that this behavior is normal and easily romanticized in the name of coping and literally anyone who has ever been to a good and credible therapist could tell you that posting cp even if it is simulated cp isnt a really good way to cope and you can get mad at me for saying that its totally fine but and im going to remove my character veil here for just a second as a csa survivor myself i think its harmful to not only myself but many others ok the veil is back down
tldr again there is a lot of bullying and harassment going on with both sides having their own issues but there is one side whos issues run a bit deeper in my humble opinion 
thank you for your question it allowed me to talk a lot you are welcome to discuss further with me in dms if you wish i honestly recommend giving the musical a listen because it is very fun and despite what some people say its very clever and if you get a chance to see a boot of it its visually stunning
one last note that i couldnt really fit in here but a large portion of the beetlebabes shipping community ignore the musical because it openly condemns the idea of beeltejuice and lydia having a relationship and a lot of the antis take issue with much of the writing and characterizations of the cartoon just a note that i think is important since were talking about canon
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