#ok i am sorry for that one

[salternateunreality2]

I feel that after Sephiroth took dating advice from Zack and it actually worked, it's only downhill from there

100%

Read at your own risk

Sephiroth now goes to Zack for ALL dating advice, and much life advice.

Zack: Ok, you gotta bring a bow-ket of flor-ets, hehehehehe

Sephiroth: *taking notes*

Zack: chicks dig that!

Sephiroth: *taking notes*

Zack: remember protection! Don't want a bunch of kiddos running around.

Sephiroth: *taking notes*

Zack: chocolate is usually a good idea. My favorite is tootsie rolls!

Sephiroth: *taking notes*

Zack: Hold the door for her! And dress nice, get a nice clean shirt--Angeal says buttons are a must--and your bluest jeans, not ones you use for working.

Sephiroth: *taking notes*

Zack: if it rains, some old fashioned gals like it if you carry them over puddles or throw your jacket down so they don't get wet, but that's kinda outdated.

Sephiroth: *taking notes*

Zack: And man, here's the real secret: you gotta, and I mean you GOTTA, flick the bean and lick the lunch meat, if you know what I mean. You'll get her super wet!

Sephiroth: Wait, I thought we were supposed to avoid getting her wet?

Zack: only in the rain, man, only in the rain. 😉

Sephiroth: *taking notes*

Later that evening...

*ding dong*

Lazard: *opens the door*

Sephiroth is standing there in a shirt that exposes his belly button and is festooned with buttons, as if it was stolen from an art student's studio after a crazed night before finals where the assignment was to use whatever was at hand and they only had buttons and a bedsheet.

He has also painted a very tasteful strand of DNA next to his belly button in the bluest blue body paint he could find. He removed the harness to accommodate the button shirt, but is still wearing his coat, pants, boots, and yes, pauldrons and gloves.

He is holding a pot full of dirt and...is that a grub? In one hand, and a bouquet of broccoli florets in the other. A plastic bag is dangling from his belt.

Sephiroth: Hello, Lazard. Would you like to accompany me on our scheduled date?

Lazard: 👁️👁️

Sephiroth: 🐱

Lazard: Certainly. Is that a bouquet?

Sephiroth: Yes, even though Zackary pronounced it incorrectly earlier, I discerned his true meaning.

Lazard: Here, let me put it in water. Feel free to set down your...items...as well.

Sephiroth: I was informed to bring things that chicks would dig, so this is a pot of grubs. I also purchased beans and lunch meat for licking and flicking activities later, and a gift of chocolate. Please hold still. *Takes a slice of lunch meat out of the packet and gently applies it to Lazard's face*

Lazard: I'm sorry, I don't understand...?

Sephiroth: Oh! I was supposed to make you wet if it wasn't raining, and since you're using the sink to fill that vase, this was the next best thing I could think of. Is...is it working? Do you feel adequately wet?

Lazard: goddess yes, but, ah, I don't need the meat, well, not THAT meat, on my face.

Sephiroth: Oh! *Licks it off, has a nice little snack*

Lazard: *trembles*

Sephiroth: Shall we go out then? I'm unsure if the beans are meant to be flicked here or abroad; I was hoping you would advise.

Lazard, leaning against the counter, voice coming out in a squeak: We can stay in!

Sephiroth: Are you certain? While full of protein and with a vegetable, this hardly seems an appropriately fancy meal for someone I am trying to woo.

Lazard, hiding his...area d'oolala...and sweating: No it's fine!

Sephiroth: I can always summon Masamune to ward off children!

Lazard: I don't think that would be necessary either way *panting*

Sephiroth: Well, if we're not going out, I would like to show you what else I learned. *Throws another wet piece of lunch meat on the floor, then his coat on top of it (oh Gaia, the button monstrosity is a tank top that shows his arms), then picks up Lazard and walks over it.* There! You wouldn't be wet if it was raining! At least your feet wouldn't!

Lazard, face to face with the hottest man in Midgar: Take your pants off.

Sephiroth: One last thing! *Grabs the nearest door, which happens to be the bedroom door* *beaming*

Lazard: Are you...holding the door for me?

Sephiroth: Yes!

Lazard: fuck me

Sephiroth: Of course!

[hinamie]

corvidae

[isjasz]

[Day 364]

O7 For day 364 I decided to throw in a bit more food into the wild as a treat /SILLY

Designs by @gingermaple once again :D

[wilsonmybeloved]

ive literally never interacted with the rats smp ever besides like once

but ren and martyn exist. and a lot of my other favorite creators. so we're going headfirst into rat yaoi. raoi, if you will. ratataoi?? ratatouille yaoi? ...ill work on it

[depodraws]

Spider-Man hyperfocus incoming

Commissions | Prints

[blueskittlesart]

in the nicest and most non-confrontational way possible. i feel like some of you think that anything that isn't directly openly spelled out for you within a story is "missed potential" or "unexplored." like. sometimes there are implied narratives. sometimes the point is that you as the reader are supposed to think and draw your own conclusions and participate in the story. the writers not directly spelling every little detail out for you doesn't mean that the story is poorly written or missed its own plot details somehow. PLEASE.

[heartorbit]

so when's the wxs phantom of the opera set

[francy-sketches]

sorry I got posessed by the wattpad demon I'm normal now (lying)

+alt version that didnt fit the #aesthetic but it better represents my #vision of them ^_^ hashtag couplegoals

[anastacialy]

tracked down this clip just because of this post! have jokes from skizz and scar

[fumifooms]

Dad always said I was like him

Meijack and Chilchuck Tims Dungeon Meshi, Ryoko Kui

^ 1: Moony moonless sky, Fatima Aamer Bilal / 2: Bug like an angel, Mitski / 3: Woodtangle, Mary Ruefle / 4: The Third Hour of the Night, Frank Bidart / 5 & 6: FROM THE MAKERS OF "TWO-MOM ENERGY DRINK," IT'S "LET YOUR FATHER DIE ENERGY DRINK,", Daniel Lavery & Cecilia Corrigan / 7: Batman: Year Three (1989) / 8 & 9 : FROM THE MAKERS OF […], Daniel Lavery & Cecilia Corrigan / 10: Wilt, CJ the X / 11: How Do We Forgive Our Fathers, Dick Lourie / 12: Milk and honey, Rupi Kaur / 13: And My Father's Love Was Nothing Next To God's Will, Amatullah Bourdon / 14: Moony moonless sky, Fatima Aamer Bilal / 15: Someday I’ll Love Ocean Vuong, Ocean Vuong / 16: untitled, Joan Tierney v 17: Drunk, The Living Tombstone / 18: unknown

When your father tried his best to provide for you but he worked all the time and even when he was home he was either tired or stressed and he’s always liked to get drunk to relax and cheer up. When you know he values work ethics and respectability so you grew up to be capable and quiet. And when he says you’re like him you’re sort of puzzled, does he really know you so little, or does he know himself so little? But you like the feeling of your father ruffling your hair so you accept it, and still you stand next to your mother just as silent and just as stoic as her during family gatherings. He leaves again and again and when your mother leaves him nothing changes, really. You wonder if it’s more telling that you know him better than he seems to himself or that you don’t know him as much as you wish you did, or that you don’t think about him all that much these days. Out of sight, out of mind. And he’s never really been there, even when he was there, after all.

[gabbertrapmix]

what if they were girlfriends

here's the whole sketch page, i sure do love clutter. and lesbians and also robots

[hinamie]

i'm exactly as normal about him as I thought I'd be

[beeduoo]

exile

[derpycatsu]

HELLOOOOOOO i got super into vocaloid (GIANT EXPLOSION)

[anouchard]

any popular ships you like personally?

The SS Great Britain is pretty cool.

[bandtrees]

they would get divorced in one universe just to find eachother in another one

alternatively titled: sometimes you're the level-headed token flesh-head impulse-control-and-polycule-member of a stubborn, eccentric, and hearty telephone-headed drug addict, and there's cruelty in the world you deem fit to suicidally fight, and that either goes about as well as you'd expect it to, or you learn about love and the value of your life and junk along the way