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ashlingiswriting · 1 year ago

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the nations favorite writer - offer us any advice? going through a writers block rn

oh god i’m so sorry this took me so long, things got crazy for a second and i forgot 😭 thoughts below!

here (1, 2) are a couple posts that seem pretty helpful, but now i’m just gonna talk about what helped me with my last bout of writer’s block because i can still remember it in detail

again this is all just my own observations about myself because that’s kinda all i have—i’m no expert

i had too many other things going on and i did need to cut down on other hobbies a bit (in this case, i had to cut down on rp) because those other things all were...relatively small tasks and they took less time, so my brain would often go “hey what about this short and rewarding task vs this long and intimidating task?”

which goes hand in hand with training your focus—i think my phone really does impact that in a bad way. reading books helps with training focus, as does muscling through. i know muscling through goes contrary to a lot of advice, but it helped me. because a lot of times, i would start writing a scene and go, ‘wow, i hate this!’ but knowing that i didn’t have another idea of what to do, i just kept going until i realized why it felt wrong. and there were like...four or five different breakthroughs like that when i was writing my latest chapter. just ‘OHHHHHHHHH’ moments that i got to only after writing like a thousand or more words that i would not end up putting in the fic. it is NOT always like this but if you’re really blocked, sometimes it’s just cause you’re writing a genuinely emotionally complicated and crucial bit and your brain has to go down the wrong path a few times before it figures out the right one

part of that is figuring out what you feel about your current scene? like, sitting down and writing a certain scene, i would go, ‘no, this feels wrong, i don’t like it, i hate it’ and sure enough my instincts were right. it WAS bad. it was bad because it focused too much on the logistics and details of a side plot when i didn’t want to waste all that precious real estate and audience attention on something that was not connected to the core of my story. but i didn’t fully realize that till i was done. it was still good that i’d written out the long version, because it laid out all the information i needed (plus a bunch i didn’t, but still). idk. i love editing more than writing on a blank page. i love cutting more than i love creating. this may be a me thing.

could also be something went wrong earlier on, like your actual scene idea is quite good but you didn’t lay enough emotional or plot foundation for it to hit as hard as you want it to? reread your previous bits of fic and see if you can find the problem there?

i think peer pressure and/or friendship are huge for this—i don’t mean peer pressure as in ‘silly anti-drug advertisements where all the cool kids try to make you do weed’ i mean ‘hanging out in a community of writers & artists and/or with friends where there’s an atmosphere of people lowkey always working on their craft, whatever that may be’. because truly i think it helps keep writing top of mind & sort of normalizes the emotional struggles. plus the camaraderie is really nice!

my current home of choice is the narcos fandom discord (which is only about 25% about narcos fandom at this point lbr) but i know there’s a ton of different places out there to be a fic writer in community with other fic writers, so take your pick. i will say that not every community is perfect and i think the ideal community strikes a balance between participation & low stress—that is, people support each other but they don’t feel like they have homework-reading they have to do that they’ll get penalized for not doing? yk? i’m rambling whoops

plus, getting a friend that is willing and HAPPY to talk through the fic with you—an editor, a beta reader, something like that—is a godsend. truly without bellinitini/narcolini i would literally not have even published chapter one of my current longfic. but the key is to find someone who genuinely is interested or who is willing to do a bit of a swap; you help them with theirs, they help you with yours.

and then there’s the audience for longfics, which may or may not apply to you. cannot lie, rereading comments, even for previous fics that are unconnected, is extremely motivating! maybe that’s just me! (i don’t think that’s just me) on that note, if you’re feeling real desperate you can always reblog ask games about your WIPs so that you can interact with your audience a bit?

you could always try to take in more art—that’s usually pretty refreshing for me. canon review is great, but taking in other stuff (fictional books especially) can make your brain start thinking in different ways, especially if your brain is a bit spongy like mine and tends to absorb little bits of other writer’s styles if you chug a lot of them. you could try to find books that deal with the same setting, the same themes, or the same relationship dynamics.

so for example, i read colorless tsukuru tazaki and his years of pilgrimage by haruki murakami in prepping for my next chapter of richiefic because richie references it in season 2. and genuinely, reading it made me understand his character a bit better. but i also have a character going to prison, so i have read some of the works of george pelecanos (the novel drama city and several short stories), because pelecanos deals with the justice system in a way that i think is admirably clearsighted, not melodramatic, very honest. i’m fixing to reread some of the parade’s end series because ford madox ford is, to me, one of the greatest of all time when it comes to complicated conversations where two characters are completely legible to the audience—completely understandable—while struggling through emotionally complicated conversations with each other. and i am about to try and get some more books set in women’s prisons + books set in modern day chicago. reading stuff with the context of “i’m about to write something related to this” is such a good way to read stuff, too. just feels really good and sometimes you need a positive feeling when you’re struggling through the depths of depair i mean writer’s block.

movies and tv are good too, though imo they’re not as helpful. i...personally avoid reading other people’s fanfic like the plague if they’re dealing with a specific pairing whose longfic i’m struggling to finish.

just putting it down and coming back in two-three weeks sometimes helps. couldn’t tell you why.

and finally. you could always drop the fic. it feels shitty for a while, but if the muse has genuinely left you for good, you deserve to enjoy the freedom instead of just like...struggling onwards indefinitely. this has happened to me with longfics before and it always makes me sad. but sometimes there is genuinely nothing you can do, and in those cases, forgive yourself <3 this is a hobby, after all

my top three recommended tactics, without knowing details of your situation, are: talk with a friend/editor, take in more art, muscle through. in that order.

i hope that helped??? i’m very sorry about your writer’s block, it’s the worst thing in the world. and i’m sorry that it took me so long, i need to be more organized

#anon #correspondence #writing advice

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just-a-carrot · 1 year ago

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with the character asks lore maybe you could compile it all in a searchable text file of sorts? like google doc or word or something, copy the text of the ask and the answer, n then put some like searchable 'tags' above or below it

like:

'hey whats the casts jobs?' - anon iggy web developer genzou bike repair shop etc. etc. - careers professions

i use this system to organize my stuff usually ^0^ the tags are because i know ill forget what specific wording it had and would just search things generally around the topic that might not be in the base text itself. like if its a more in depth description of my characters appearance, ill write tags for synonyms for appearance, phrases like 'looks like', and certain features id probably mention like a mole on the foot or something. i also put the date on things sometimes, seperated so its searchable like 'october 7 2021'

it could also be sorted by categories of ask? like if its about something outside the game, a writing process or your own thoughts on a part, then another category for in-world facts and things, so on and so forth

this is just an idea of course, but i thought it might help maybe? >.>;

ohhhhhhhhh

something like that's not a bad idea

although it all really comes down to tags. like i just need more tags. even if i had more tags then it would be a lot more easily searchable here on tumblr too 💦 right now i only have ow: asks and char info asks that i added more recently specifically for char info. but i wonder if even just creating a better tag system for types of questions, char specific info, etc., would be helpful even as a first step for helping people look through old asks more easily...

THERE ARE OVER A YEAR'S WORTH OF ASKS THO SO IT MIGHT TAKE A WHILE LMAO (hence why i can never find anything anymore if i need to go back in and search 💦💦)

i will try maybe just coming up with better tags first. then i'll need to ofc spend all the time actually going through and adding the tags sob... and then decide if it's something i should eventually take off tumblr. but i kinda hate making ppl leave. it feels like it could be a hassle for ppl, unsure tho ahhhh

#ask: ow

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18thoctober · 1 month ago

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RANT BEFORE I ACTUALLY DO SHIT BECAUSE OHHHHHHHHH

Having to conduct a school research for the first time with the most minimal guidance from our research teacher is so infuriatinggg

Now, I don't usually struggle having to talk to teachers about my concerns or questions in their respective subject, but oh boy you are the only exception!!

I lovveee teachers so much, like, omg your job is to give us information and guide us and correct our wrongs?! Wow! Amazing! I love it actually it's so genius and I've met a looot of beautiful amazing teachers who taught me so much and I love them so so so much and they have a special place in my heart. But there really are exceptions to everything huh

How are you getting paid to teach us and guide us throughout conducting our research study? Because you literally do not do any of that.

You approved a title that didn't have clear variables and had super fucked up grammar so now I'm struggling, cuz somehow someway you managed to talk your way into the panelists ears into just passing the title anyway. And now I'm out here with my group of scrawny little teens with so much going on in their lives trying to revise this WITHOUT THE PANELISTS NOTES AND SUGGESTIONS BECAUSE YOU WONT GIVE US THE DAMN PAPER THEY WROTE ON WOOWWWWWW

She really does do a lot to help us but does it in the wrong times. You should've let us get a rejected title and try again instead of letting us struggle trying to make a shit title work. I DONT EVEN WANT TO DO THIS STUDY IT WAS PROPOSED BECAUSE I LOVEEE DEMOCRACY AND LET MY GROUP VOTE ON IT!!!

And yes I'm not the world's most perfect group leader, I only got elected because they voted on me expecting me to be the next Odysseus of Ithaca because I had high test scores. Guys. I didn't have a single friend for the first quarter of the school year. Did you really expect me to communicate with others well. Did you expect me to know everything about,, well, everything?!! STILL I tried my very best but shitttt having to carry all this all alone is so hard oh my godddd. I pretty sure these people fucking hate me now too because I'm so shit at leading and always end up doing most of the work myself because oh my god some of these bitches are dumb as hell too and I didn't have the balls or the heart to tell them that so I fix their work myself. I feel like shit now. You know sometimes I compare myself to her bcs if this because oh I don't do communication well either so I kinda get it but NO BITCH even if I'm so tired of everything I still reply to my fellow groupmates whenever they have a question or want to clear shit up because AUAUAAGGG ITS BASIC HUMAN DECENCYYY. NOT ONLY THAT ITS YOUR DAMN JOBBBBBB OHHH LORDDDD

It's just so hard not having guidance from someone who we're supposed to depend on, especially with shit like this that requires a lot of trial and error. I hate this so so so so much I'm in so much stress and I don't fucking know anymore.

It got to a point where all us leaders and assistant leaders made a group chat to help each other out because the bitch won't help us herself!!

Oh and did I mention this research is our final exam to her so I'm actually fucking cooked right now and that our exams in the other subjects are tomorrow and I don't have fucking time to review for then because I gotta someway somehow salvage this fuckass title with all the English my non native speaker ass can muster up. I like to think that I'm not that grade conscious and I just try to do my best at the moment and not let my final grades affect me but it does sting a little bit whenever I receive a low grade. Its a whole other issue

Anyhow, this is just a really raw unfiltered unorganized incomplete rant about my current situation, hopefully at a later date I'll be able to organize my feelings and just fuckinggg get my shit together. I don't even give a FUCK anymore I just want this shit to be finished.

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wvffles · 2 months ago

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ohhhhhhhhh goshhh 😩 the anticipation continuessss

“And I had an angel standing over me,” he added, his eyes growing heavy. Guilty. “A bona fide angel. She’d stitched me up, she told me. She also told me I was lucky to be alive. The doc wanted to toe tag me and be done with it, but she thought I still had some fight left in me.” “She was my anchor,” he said. “After it was all said and done, she followed me here, held my feet down to the ground. Sometimes she had to hammer me down, ya know.”

the fact that this is how he sees their story, yet he's still chosen to be a dirty lying no good scoundrel really grinds my gears. like he needed to forget his name? I could smack him with a frying pan rapunzel style for the same effect lol

“I’m the guy who can’t die,” he muttered.

my immediate thought was well try harder 😭 and i did feel bad for a second, then I finished the chapter…i stand by my statement 😅

You marveled that you could smile at all, but it was only thanks to Dean Winchester.

so real lmaoo

her inner conflict tugged at my heartstrings, i'm just glad she's giving herself some grace at least <3 it’s a difficult situation all around

the flowers!!! 😩 oh dean :( and michael is truly a classic douche like sir you cannot just magically make it better with some flowers and dinner 🙂‍↔️🤚🏽

Each position captured was more compromising than the next between Michael and Dolores Daye. Apparently, he was paying most of her bills as well with your combined household funds. So part of your own money was financing his exploits.

i would get so violent are you kiddingg meeeee

it’s bad enough he’s sleeping with a floozy on the regular but to take his wife’s money as well to fund that is actually beyond ballsy and insane. i hate them, justice for my girl fr 🫶🏽:(

Dean nodded, taking a deep breath. “That’s good…but, I need to head home for a little while.”

ngl I had to put my phone down for a moment and yell into a pillow because dean, what the hell man 😩

“Really. When did you figure that one out, in the whole week you’ve known me?” he asked. It was harsher than he meant to be, but he couldn’t help the words that were spilling out of his mouth. “Didn’t that get you in trouble the first time? I’d a thought you would’ve learned your lesson by now.”

oh dean, getting stabbed would’ve probably hurt less

He pulled you back into him, but you looked away from his imploring gaze. Your breaths grew shallow while you tried in vain to stop yourself from crying. It damn well broke his heart.

mine’s breaking too dean 😔 i’m just glad he’s trying to ‘fix it’ somewhat immediately instead of just letting her leave like that.

Except that you realized…this was goodbye. So you took advantage of every second of it.

yeah my heart is definitely broken 🥺 i’m glad they didn’t end things off with hostility and got to have that bittersweet moment at least 😔

Sam stared back at him, still with that frown. His guilt and reluctance to see Dean go was reflected in his eyes; those sad puppy dog eyes that used to get him out of almost any punishment with their parents when the boys were young. Before.

oh they’d work on me for sure 😭

Before Dean could get into the cab, Sam stopped him. Their gazes met, but in that moment, no words were needed.

They pulled one another into a firm hug.

…

Afterwards, Sam watched the yellow cab take his brother away to the train station, feeling a weight in his heart that wouldn’t subside.

He would never know that Dean felt exactly the same way. Except that impossible weight felt a lot like your hand, gently laid over his heart.

my heart aches, this chapter was so sad 😩 (not in a bad way!!🫶🏽) I feel for all three of them 😔🤍

“I just took a closer look at Milligan’s finances,” he said. “Before you go, there’s something you might want to know.”

ahhhhhh the cliffhanger! i’m guessing he found something illegal and/or dangerous 🤔 the preview is making me anxiousss, he better not hurt her! 😩

this was a wonderful chapter, very excited to see the drama unfold!!💗💗

BETWEEN THE CITY & THE STARS - Part 4

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: In the fall of 1945, Dean is having a difficult time assimilating back into civilian life after the War. He’s visiting his brother Sam in New York City, where he’s beginning to build up his law firm. At two minutes to closing time, you interrupt their evening to solicit a solicitor. Your request? You need help in order to divorce your husband.

AN: Now we get into the aftermath of the night before, with all the insecurity and heartbreak to go along with it. 💙

Jacklesverse Bingo24 Prompt: Historical Epic

Song Inspo: “Danke Shoen” by Wayne Newton

Word Count: 4K

Tags/Warnings: Mentions of cheating, angsty angst, trauma/PTSD, and a cliffhanger…

✨ Series Masterlist

🎵 YouTube Playlist || Spotify Playlist

Part 4: Complicit

Sam would give Michael one thing. The guy damn well knew how to drink.

He didn’t stop all night, throwing back whiskey like it was cheap beer. His words began to slur, his movements sloppy, but he was still coherent. When he got up to visit the men’s restroom, Sam got up as well. Maybe he could get Michael talking.

Sam stopped the other man from tripping into the urinal. The two laughed it off, with Michael thanking him before he unzipped to finish his business. Sam did the same.

After washing their hands, Sam looked over and noticed Michael’s gaze lingering on his own reflection in the mirror. It was becoming a rough sight—his blonde hair no longer neatly coiffed, purplish rings under his eyes, the stench of alcohol clinging to his skin and clothing.

“You all right there, Milligan?” Sam asked.

Michael ran a hand over his face, sighing when it didn’t get any better.

“Fine,” he replied. “So, Winchester. What did you say you do for work again? Something about your own business?”

Sam nodded. “I started up a law firm.”

That much, he had to be honest about. It was all too easy for someone to look up his name in the directory.

“Sounds like a good outfit,” Michael said, with an incline of his head. “Every lawyer I know wears a Rolex.”

Sam chuckled, glancing down at his father’s watch. “Well, I’m not quite there yet.”

“Someday soon, I’m sure,” said Michael. He bumped Sam conspiringly on the shoulder.

“And you?” Sam asked. “What’s keeping the lights on at your place?”

Michael raised a hand to sort through his unruly hair, a dirtier blonde in this unflattering light.

“Well, you could say I’ve inherited a business of my own,” he said. “I run a meat packing plant down in the district.”

Sam’s attention piqued. There had been a meat rationing during the war, even some rumors and propaganda about “meatleggers,” black market operators.

“How’s it been with the rations?” Sam asked. “Been hard to even find a good carton of eggs lately.”

Michael gave him a slight smile. “Been on the turnaround, actually. I’ve been able to make some connections with vendors outside the city. A little grease on the palms makes a little go a long way, if you catch my drift.”

Sam slowly smiled and nodded. A little grease on the palms, huh?

“Do what you gotta do in the times, ‘s what I say,” Sam agreed.

Michael snorted. “Now you’re talkin’. That’s all we can do, you know. Try to make a thing work, with whatever scraps we get. Try to stay afloat.”

“Try to stay alive,” Sam rejoined.

Michael made a low sound of approval. He became more contemplative, crossing his arms as he once again glanced at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. Sam’s gaze on the other man was perceptive, gaining ever closer to what seemed to be eating at the very core of him. Whether Sam actually believed what he was saying or not, each of his words was a test, a subtle nudge.

“You know,” Michael said. “I was shot down in France.”

Sam sobered further. Leaning against the counter, he retrieved two cigarettes and a lighter. He didn’t often smoke, but he thought it might keep the other man talking. He handed one over to Michael, and he took it gratefully. They lit up together and coiled musky tobacco smoke into the air.

“Where?” Sam asked.

Michael snorted, huffing a bit of smoke. “Lord knows. But when I woke up, I had stitches from here to here.”

He gestured to the back of his head, all the way to above his brow. It explained a small, but noticeable scar near his temple.

Michael shook his head. “The next chance I got, I married her.”

Sam’s brows rose. He knew you had been a nurse, but he hadn’t known this part of your story.

“A wartime romance, huh?” he said. Michael quirked a smile.

“She was my anchor,” he said. “After it was all said and done, she followed me here, held my feet down to the ground. Sometimes she had to hammer me down, ya know.”

He hesitated, his eyes somewhat glazing over. He stared over Sam’s shoulder at something only he could see.

“But sometimes…sometimes an anchor just feels suffocating,” he said. “Sometimes, you need to forget your own damn name. Forget that your entire life and mortgage is in a warehouse that might as well be a freezer full a’ dead cow meat. And still, it smells a hell of a lot better than lying on a dirty cot—where the last guy who had your spot probably got his leg sawed off.”

Michael considers the cigarette in his hand for a long while before he takes another puff.

Sam exhales smoke as well. He spent the last three years behind a desk, but he sees the same shaken core in Michael Milligan that he too often sees in his older brother.

“You know, Winchester, there’s two kinds of men,” Michael said, just a hint of a slur in his voice. “The ones who pray to live…and the ones who beg for it to be over.”

“And what kind of man are you now?” Sam asked. His tone was loose, but his gaze was sharp.

Michael snorted. He dabbed the butt of his cigarette on the inside of the sink before he threw it away.

“I’m the guy who can’t die,” he muttered.

He rolled his shoulders, as if to let the weight of his words and everything that came along with them to roll off his back. Then he pushed his way out of the bathroom, leaving Sam considering more than just half a cigarette.

That night after Dean left, you slept in the guest room instead of your bed. You couldn’t even bring yourself to sleep next to Michael when he stumbled in at four in the morning, especially now that you had seen his game with your own eyes.

However, you also felt complicit yourself the next morning. You felt…ashamed. You took your vows seriously. You had never in your life thought you would be someone so brazen. You never thought you would dishonor your husband as well as yourself.

And yet. All while you got ready for work, hearing Michael’s snores from the other room, your mind was filled with warmth and memory—of Dean. His smile, his voice, his eyes, his lips, and of course, his hands. You couldn’t decide which of them was your favorite, but his hands were high on the list.

You shouldn’t have let him in, you reminded yourself. You nibbled on your lower lip while you prepped the coffee maker. You should have told him goodnight at the door and saw him off. You should very well not have invited him up to the apartment, let alone drank with him, or let him touch you…

You paused while the sound of percolation and the smell of fresh coffee filled the kitchen. You looked up at yourself in the small mirror that hung on the wall. The woman looking back at you was conflicted at best.

Yes, you felt guilty. But at the same time, you didn’t. Was it really betraying your marriage if your husband had been doing far worse, and for God knew how long?

No. This wasn’t a marriage. This was a sham. A mockery of the very thing.

You frowned angrily and almost slammed the carafe on the counter when the coffee was done. Forcing yourself to take a few steadying breaths, you allowed that hate and anger to slowly drain out of you, and you smiled.

You marveled that you could smile at all, but it was only thanks to Dean Winchester.

What the hell am I doing?

Dean stared at the two bouquets of flowers. One was a bound bunch of red roses, the other was wildflowers and other colorful ones he didn’t know the names of. He was having a hard time deciding, namely because he didn’t know what kind of flowers you liked.

Because after all, he barely knew you.

He sighed down at the roses. They were pretty, but expensive. He could imagine your surprise, followed by your smile—the one that actually lit up your eyes and changed your whole face, made you sweeter, almost shy.

I’m buying flowers for a married woman.

The thought managed to make him pause, with a rough exhale of breath. The truth was, he’d crossed the line with you. More than once.

The hard part about it was, he didn’t really care. He did wonder if you cared.

He wondered if you’d be embarrassed to see him again. He wondered if you wanted to keep last night a memory, and nothing more. He wondered if he was better off booking his train home now, and leaving some kind of note for you with Sam. Dean didn’t think he wanted to see that look of mortification on your face, the whiskey finally cleared from your mind to see what he really was: a man with no job, no commitments, and very little prospects on the horizon.

“Ah, ‘scuse me,” a young man said from Dean’s left side.

“Oh, sorry,” Dean said, making way for the guy. He wasn’t quite as tall as Dean, lithe, blonde, and blue-eyed. He grabbed an arrangement of blue and yellow iris flowers from the case and took it up to the front. The florist seemed to recognize him.

“Oh, Michael! Been a while since I’ve seen you,” he said.

When the florist asked about you as well, the mention of your name rang between Dean’s ears. A feeling like inky claws raked through his chest; he raised his head from the roses and finally recognized Michael Milligan. He was the same man Dean had spotted in your wedding pictures hanging on the wall last night, right in the foyer.

“She’s all right,” Michael chuckled. “Truth be told, I’ve been working late this week. Hoping to surprise her tonight, take her out to dinner. Somewhere nice, you know.”

“Oh, really? Why don’t you take her to that nice steakhouse off of Broadway…” the florist twittered on as he continued to ring up Michael’s order.

Anger and disgust prickled under Dean’s skin, his fists clenched at his sides. More than anything, he wanted to turn around and lay your husband out flat. If he thought one little bouquet and a Salisbury steak was going to wash him clean, then he was an idiot as well as a selfish bastard.

But Dean knew, deep down, that Michael would be just as justified to throw a swing right back at him.

So Dean left the flowers, the flower shop, and the entire busy street and all its blaring sounds behind.

During your lunch break, you quickly made the trek over to Sam’s office. He’d called you this morning with a story that only confirmed everything you’d inherently felt, and yet, some of it still managed to shock you.

You didn’t even have the patience to wait until after work, but when you got there, he reassured you. It had taken him a few rounds of poker and discreetly following Michael and Dolores after they exited through the back of the club…but Sam had gotten the evidence not long after. They weren’t exactly discreet in the alley. Or in the nearby motel.

You had the envelope in hand filled with the pictures he’d developed from his camera.

“You don’t have to look,” he advised. “I wouldn’t recommend it.”

“No, I want to see it,” you said. You took the pictures out, and your expression didn’t change as you look through them all. Each position captured was more compromising than the next between Michael and Dolores Daye. Apparently, he was paying most of her bills as well with your combined household funds. So part of your own money was financing his exploits.

“I’m sorry,” Sam said. He was sincere, with those hazel eyes of his.

You nodded and gave him back the envelope. “What’s next?”

“I went ahead and filed the petition. I’ll take this right to the clerk’s office myself.”

“How long will it take to be over?”

“As long as Michael plays along, should be quick. A few months at most, after he’s served the divorce papers and signs them,” Sam assured.

A few months? That wasn’t quick enough in your book, but you agreed with a nod. You got up from the chair opposite his desk. You hesitated there.

“Oh, I meant to ask…how’s your brother?” you said.

Sam began to smile, but he tempered it. “He just called before you came in. He let me know he was stepping out for a walk.”

“Oh, really? Did he happen to say where?”

You not only found Dean in Central Park, but close to the very same bench you two had sat on yesterday and talked the night away. He was surprised, but he smiled when he saw you. Your pace quickened, until you were hastening over to him. He welcomed you into his arms. He bent his head towards yours, stopping just shy of kissing you. Instead, he pressed his forehead to yours for a moment.

“Well, look who’s here?” he teased. “How’d you find me?”

“I stopped by Sam’s office,” you said, holding onto the lapels of his coat. A cold November wind pushed at you both, ruffling your clothes. “The paperwork is on its way. Soon enough, I won’t be a married woman anymore.”

He tucked a wild strand of hair behind your ear and smiled, but it didn’t altogether reach his eyes.

“How soon is soon?” he asked.

“A few months, according to your brother.”

Dean nodded, taking a deep breath. “That’s good…but, I need to head home for a little while.”

That made you pause, tilting your head in confusion. Though you supposed it made sense. He was only here visiting his brother. He was planning on going home eventually.

But surely, that was before we… You lowered your gaze.

“Back to Lawrence?” you asked. Again, he nodded.

“I need to take care of some things, figure out my next move,” he said.

You pulled away from him to brace yourself, and not just against the cold. “Well, when will you be back?”

He stayed quiet, worrying you even more. There was a deep pit forming in your stomach, churning with unease.

“Dean?” you prodded.

He stepped back in to grasp your arms gently.

“Sweetheart…the truth is, I don’t have much to offer you,” he said. “I don’t have a business to inherit from my folks. I don’t even have a job. I’m a man who was about as useful as a jackhammer, until the war ended.”

You frowned, resting a hand against his chest. “Dean Winchester, that’s not all there is to you.”

You snatched your hand back, hurt filling your eyes. You turned to walk away before he saw your tears. You should have known. You should have known a man like him would never be serious. Not about you.

As soon as he let the words go, Dean realized what he was doing. Yeah, he was frustrated, but it wasn’t aimed at you. It couldn’t be aimed at you.

God knew he didn’t want to hurt you, or for you to hate him. He really couldn’t stomach either thought, so he relented and reached out to grab at your hand, before you could get too far.

“Wait,” he said, managing to pull you back to him. “I’m sorry.”

You tugged your hand to try and free yourself from his grasp.

“You know what, maybe you’re right,” you said, your voice wobbling with anger, dismay, and tears. “Maybe I ought to stop letting a man get even an inch into my heart. At this point, it’s my own fault.”

“Stop,” Dean demanded. “No, it’s not.”

He pulled you back into him, but you looked away from his imploring gaze. Your breaths grew shallow while you tried in vain to stop yourself from crying. It damn well broke his heart.

“It’s not your fault. I’m just an idiot,” He cupped your cheeks and wiped your tears as they fell. “But you…you deserve to be happy. With a man that can take care of you, protect you. A man who has a little more of his life figured out.”

“You’re just saying that so you have an excuse for toying with me. So you can keep chasing skirts,” you said, pushing at his chest. “Yes, your brother told me about all your little exploits.”

Dean took the blow, both proverbial and physical, with a raise of his brows. He guessed he couldn’t blame you for that one. Still, the disdain behind your words stung. He allowed you to break free of him.

You stepped back and straightened your clothes. You took in a deep breath that did nothing to calm you, and you uttered a humorless laugh.

“I suppose it makes sense. Why would you want anything to do with me?” You gestured down at yourself with a dismissive hand. “A-a walking mess. Even when I am divorced, that’s how people will see me. Damaged goods. I don’t even know how I’m gonna tell my parents.”

You covered your face against Dean and the rest of the world, and after weeks and months, you finally allowed yourself the one thing you hadn’t since your first inkling that your husband was being unfaithful. You finally allowed yourself to break.

The first sob shuddered through your body, followed by hot tears. You squeezed your eyes against them and wiped at your face in vain.

Dean broke too, in his own way. He gathered you into his arms, where he shushed you gently and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“I wasn’t giving you an excuse,” he said.

Despite how much you wanted to push him away, the deep, steady timbre of his voice pierced you and soothed you at the same time.

“I meant every word I said. I may not be the right guy for you, but don’t you dare take a scrap of what anyone else might say, you hear me?” he said firmly. “You’re beautiful. You don’t suffer fools like me, and you’re better than that sad sack excuse of a man deserves.”

You looked up at him with watery eyes.

“You’re a lot of things, Dean Winchester, but you’re not a fool.”

He shook his head, not wanting to argue with you anymore. He just kissed you, deeply, thoroughly, the way you always imagined a kiss should be.

Except that you realized…this was goodbye. So you took advantage of every second of it.

You met him with as much as he gave and reached up to touch his cheek. It felt a little rough under your fingers, just like you remembered. You would probably always remember that feeling, long after you left the park.

That evening, you packed as many bags as you could. You put together the savings you’d been collecting for a few months. It had been at your coworker Jess’s advice, ever since you started feeling the inkling that something wasn’t right in your marriage.

After you were all packed, you took one last, long look at the space you had tried to make your home. With one last tear trailing your cheek, you stepped out of the apartment. You took the bus uptown, where you later checked into a hotel.

When your husband finally got home from work, he would find a one-page letter written in your own hand.

For once, Sam was actually home in his apartment. He was helping Dean take his suitcase to the front door after calling a taxi to come shortly. Sam wasn’t happy about it though.

“You don’t have to go so soon, Dean,” said Sam.

Dean gave a humorless laugh. He grabbed his coat from the rack and threw it on.

“I’ve gotta get back to the house. It’s already been empty too long,” he said. Three years too long. “Fact is, I’m just getting in your way here.”

He couldn’t quite meet Sam’s eyes as he went to the door, but Sam stopped him with a pressing hand on his arm, tugging him back.

“Hey,” Sam said, his brows furrowed. “That’s not true. Where’d you get that idea?”

Dean raised his brows. “You mean the way you’ve haven’t been home more than a few hours a night? The way the only time I see you is if I go find you at that office. You should open up a Bed n’ Breakfast there. You’d make a double killing in this town.”

Sam wilted. “Dean, we opened the firm barely a month ago. I’m just trying to—”

Dean laid a hand on his shoulder, relenting.

“Hey, look. I’m not judging you, Sammy. I’m not,” he said. “You’re building something. I know that. I just need to go figure out how to do the same, whatever that means for me.”

The corner of Dean’s mouth kicked up into a smirk.

“Don’t worry. I’ll see you again soon,” he said.

“How soon is soon?” Sam asked. It was something their mother used to say to John whenever he called late, promising he’d come home after long days in town buying supplies for the farm.

“The divorce papers will be served to Michael Milligan,” Sam added, pointedly raising his brows. “She…could use your support.”

Dean’s smile faded at the mention of you. His hand slipped from Sam’s shoulder.

“She’s got a strong head on her shoulders. She’ll be all right,” he said. He heard the honk of the taxi outside. He grabbed up his hat, set it on his head, and took up his bags. He turned back to Sam at the last moment. “I’m sure you’ll look out for her.”

It was somehow both a question, and an imploring charge. Sam sighed, but he nodded in agreement. His brother could be so very stubborn. Once he got an idea of what he thought he needed to do, there was almost no talking him out of it.

Sam opened the door for him and walked him out to the car, helping him with his bags. Before Dean could get into the cab, Sam stopped him. Their gazes met, but in that moment, no words were needed.

They pulled one another into a firm hug.

I’m sorry. I should’ve been there more for you.

Don’t worry about it. It’s already forgotten.

Dean released him first with a smile, and a heavy pat of Sam’s shoulder. He turned and climbed into the cab’s backseat. Afterwards, Sam watched the yellow cab take his brother away to the train station, feeling a weight in his heart that wouldn’t subside.

He would never know that Dean felt exactly the same way. Except that impossible weight felt a lot like your hand, gently laid over his heart.

Dean took up his suitcase as the train pulled into the station. He stepped up onto the platform and retrieved the ticket from his pocket, but he paused, hearing a familiar voice shouting his name.

He turned his head and saw Sam rushing to meet him at the platform.

“What’s the matter? What’re you doing here?” Dean asked in surprise. He didn’t like the wary apprehension written across Sam’s face.

“I just took a closer look at Milligan’s finances,” he said. “Before you go, there’s something you might want to know.”

AN: Come on, we needed at least one cliffhanger in this series! 😘 What do you think Sam rushed over to tell Dean? What did you think about their "goodbye," as well as her and Dean's goodbye? ...And are you ready for all the drama that's about to go down? lol

Next Time:

Except the loud, insistent knock on the door broke you out of your thoughts. Straightening up with a frown, you set down your glass and went over to the door. Maybe it was Housekeeping coming up to bring you the fresh towels you asked for. The ones that had been laid out in the bathroom smelled musty.

You opened the door to a tall frame taking up room in the doorway. It was Michael, standing there both disheveled and steaming mad. He held your letter crumpled in his left hand.

“Michael, what—what’re you doing here?” you gasped and stepped back. He followed you inside the room and slammed it shut. He looked around at your open suitcases in disbelief, then finally at you.

“What’s this supposed to mean, huh?” he demanded to know. He shook the flimsy piece of paper at you.

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satans-arse-crack · 1 year ago

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Hey my lovely tumblr blog thing, how ya doing 😏

It has been ages since I’ve like said anything on here like a solid couple of months I think. I just wanted to come here and vent for a little cause there’s a lot of shit going on and I don’t know how to feel about it. I know that nobody is ever going gonna read this but it’s kinda just my way of getting shit out yk. If anyone happens to come across this and actually read it then good for your ig 😭 (none of this is gonna make sense which is my it is a random ramble) anyways onto the rambling 😗✌🏻

-Here’s some music to listen to ❤️-

These past couple of months have been overwhelming to say the least. My PlayStation account keeps getting banned for no reason. I had I strange clash with a girl I used to be friends with and all her little pals, it wasn’t a fun interaction to say the least

School is stressing me out to the max and I have no clue what I’m going to do

My friends are really starting to annoy me but I can’t do anything about it. I wish I could drop them but 1) I have no other friends cause they are my only ones 2) I feel extremely guilty even thinking about that

My online friend has really been causing me the most idk stress, anxiety, upset? Idk how to put it. He’s just been such an asshole for the past like 2 months and it’s getting on my nerves. I got really close to him and for ages I used to get like upset or anxious if he didn’t reply to me (I think I’ve got some kind of anxious attachment or something, it’s some kind of anxiety) but honestly for the past couple of weeks and especially at the start of the month he was just such an ass that it honestly gave me so much of an ick I started not to care anymore.

Speaking of that friend OHHHHHHHHH HAS HE BEEN SUCH AN ARSE ABOUT EVERYTHING. Basically I had tried to explain to this boy about how and why I seem to get anxious or upset when he doesn’t message me back or seems dry, and the mf started to use that shit againt me as a joke. Now I introduced my online friend to my irl friend at the start of November right. And they kinda clash but there seems to be no hard feelings, well sometimes when he decides he want to clash with her he sometimes brings me into it. Sometimes he’ll bring up stuff to make fun of me (shit I told him in serious conversations in full confidence) like he’s brought up the fact that I cry a lot, the fact that I get upset when he doesn’t message me, the fact I have no other friends. The list goes on for ever

This friend also constantly mentions how he doesn’t wanna be friends with me anymore, how he hates talking to me, how he can’t wait to get rid of me. It’s confusing, if he hates me so much then why does he always invite me to ps parties, why does he sometimes message me when shit happens with his family like??

Also I know this friend has constantly lied to me in the past and it’s now pissing me off

I just can’t with people anymore they stress me out so much

Half of me wishes I could go the rest of my life is solitude but the other half hates being alone

Another thing, I feel so genuinely alone, I have no one to talk to, no one checks up on me, no one seems to make an effort to talk to me. I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t remember the last time I had a friend check up on me and be like “hey are you doing ok”

And if I’m being honest I don’t know what my answer would be cause I’m not doing ok at all, I have no motivation or energy to do anything anymore, Im scared im slowly loosing interest in my hobby. I’m scared I’m pushing people away. I don’t know if I’m depressed or just sad .

I’m just sitting here and waiting for some good luck and fortune to come my way

I’m honestly considering starting a journal, just to write in when I feel this way or just any time I wish. Someplace to get my feelings out when it’s needed. I might go into town in the next couple of days and see if I can find a nice journal somewhere

It feels nice to do this, feels like I’m talking to someone almost. Although no one will see this and I’ll never get a response it’s nice yk

I’m typing this on my phone and my thumb hurts really bad for no reason 😭

Anyways I’m gonna leave it here, might go off and cry or I might go try and sleep who knows. Also happy late Christmas 🎄😁

Buh bye 🤭🥰

#Spotify

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sarah-dipitous · 1 year ago

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Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 304

Exodus/Arachnids in the UK

“Exodus”

Plot Description: In apocalypse world, several family reunions yield varying results. Sam and Dean attempt to plan a mass escape through the rift

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: No one died

I know this is has always been about family drama but they turned it up a notch

I love how many times Sam says he’ll handle someone and then he doesn’t….this time about Lucifer

Poor Jack ☹️

I don’t like how Lucifer is looking at Mary——she’s not gonna go back with the boys?

Oh no….oh! Right! The entire premise of this episode…Sam was agreeing with Mary’s decision, but only partially. He still wants her back home but in order to get that, they have to make this world…not the apocalypse, but they’re gonna regroup in our world

Why would Cas leave Jack with Lucifer?! Like, let them talk, sure, Jack deserves to know about this half of his genetics…but keep them supervised!

Why is this plan so bad? Why does Bobby think that?

There’s an audio used on tiktok about how much hotter some men get when their whole life falls apart. I still hate Ketch, but…it’s not untrue about him

There’s an evil Castiel here?!

Oh, they’re gonna be doing practically the same thing. Cas getting info from the guy who set up Charlie and Ketch, and evil Cas doing the same but worse TO Charlie and Ketch

“I’ve known you since the stars were made” is such a good line, you’d think it was from Good Omens between the ineffable husbands, but it’s Gabriel telling Lucifer that he (L) can’t change and is incapable of love and empathy

Damn, Gabe. A little harsh.

What is this voice, Misha? It almost sounds German?

Watching Cas kill evil Cas sure was something. That’s a new poll, would you kill your clone?

Charlie and Ketch got rescued…AND everyone decided to go through the rift? What’s a gonna go wrong?! This is the penultimate episode of the season. Things are going to smoothly

This is unexpectedly sage and decent advice Lucifer is giving to Jack…

Roro strengthening the rift 💖

Of COURSE once it’s down to just a few, Michael shows up

Is Gabriel dead for good now?! Nooooo

Well, at least Michael and Lucifer are locked away in apocalypse world…….for now

SOMEONE CHECK ON JACK!!!! Y’all are celebrating too much and he’s just lost his uncle and dad (the second one only sort of) and didn’t even kill his other uncle, like he promised he would do

Yeah, I kind of figured Lucifer would propose a team up with Michael. This can’t go well

“Arachnids in the UK”

Plot Description: something is very wrong with the spiders in Sheffield. The Doctor and friends investigate

This man who seems to be a stand in for the US president is VERY obviously a very certain recent one, and after last episode, I just don’t know that England needs to be saying so much about the US’s history and politics when they’re no better

The dance the Doctor does every time they want to invite a new companion is so funny. They have to make it seem like they’re lonely enough to like some company but not enough that they’re desperate for it. Though Thirteen immediately being down for tea at Yaz’s is a nice change from past iterations

Doc, you could get a sofa for the TARDIS. You don’t have to do small talk like this

Ohhhhhhhhh Yaz’s mom was the woman that dude fired

Oh Graham…no, it’s HARD going back to a place you shared with someone you recently lost

I know they’re trying to make the webs ominous, but it’s not working. Well, ok. That’s TOO many cobwebs. It’s still not scary

When that same thing happened to Frodo, it was a lot scarier. That spider might not be Shelob size, but it’s way bigger than your average Australian one

Oooo, what’s Ryan’s beef with his dad?

I thought for a moment the hotel owner (who no longer seems to actually be the president but is still very reminiscent of said former president) was involved in the spider thing, and maybe he still is, just funding more than hands on

If the spiders weren’t fucking huge, no one would care

LIVING for Ryan doing shadow puppets while the Doctor and this scientist discuss the abnormal behaviors the spiders have been exhibiting

I have had it with these morherfucking spiders in this motherfucking town

No. No. Absolutely not. Why is it GIGANTIC?! That’s…WAY bigger than the other ones

This dude is so fucking pathetic, and not in the good way

I am now way too aware of anything that’s remotely tickling me. Megumi doesn’t help

He’s not president but he’s planning on running for president

That dude should not have a gun…

We already knew he was a terrible and sleazy businessman, but metaphorically washing his hands by saying he just signs the contracts…I wanna punch him

Yaz’s dad is gonna be so funny when they get out of this

I cannot wait for this episode to be over. I can deal with regular sized spiders, but this is……it’s too many and they’re too big

I love when they choose to go with the Doctor. It’s always such a heartwarming scene

#hellsite nostalgia tour 2023

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faded-coat-of-blue · 2 years ago

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(ADVANCE NOTICE: This post is spoiler-free)

So having only watched the original Knives Out for the first time last week, and having watched Glass Onion last night and just generally not being someone who enjoys film as a medium (though this is somewhat counterbalanced by me being the world’s biggest slut for murder mysteries)…

Ohhhhhhhhh my god. Oh my god that film was so good on so many different incredible levels and if you follow me here I can already guarantee that you’re exactly the kind of person who would adore it. I’m gonna try and throw some non-spoilery endorsements of it below, because unfortunately tumblr did spoil it quite significantly for me personally (luckily it’s the kind of film where that sorta doesn’t matter too much? Still enjoyable to see the mystery unfold even if you know where it’s ultimately headed)

1) it feels like almost too obvious a place to start, but both the casting and the acting in this movie were top notch. Daniel Craig took the half-caricature of a classic sleuth that he’d already done well in Knives Out and just perfected it. I won’t elaborate too much so as not to spoil characters, but the entire supporting cast felt hugely believable when they needed to be believable and were hilarious parodies when they needed to be funny - particular favourite performances of mine were Kate Hudson, Janelle Monáe and Edward Norton (whom I’ve always rated anyway but y’know), but honestly everyone, whether minor or major role, killed it

2) the political commentary is excellent and a lot more nuanced than you might initially think

3) it was an actually palatable COVID movie? It was truly delightful to see a ‘oh this happens to be set during COVID and like, it was such a big thing that obviously it’s going to influence a lot’ movie that at the same time wasn’t a ‘this is all (or even at all) a “life during COVID” movie’ - it was just there and acknowledged but it absolutely wasn’t integral to the movie

4) as a long-time wrestling fan, hi there, Batista’s dick. We missed you, buddy (for anyone concerned, it’s not ever shown explicitly but like… the speedos are tight)

5) utterly gorgeous set and costume design that (particularly the latter) was actually done with massive consideration for characterisation

6) many incredible (and in one instance downright hilarious) celebrity cameos (which normally I hate but you’ll see why it makes sense in this movie) - particular favourite had to be piss-drunk Yo-Yo Ma (who I’ll admit I only recognised because YouTube had literally recommended me a video of him two hours prior)

I think pretty much everything else I have to say about this film is spoilery but uhhhhhhh

please watch it

Oh and if you’ve seen it and either want to froth at me or you can think of non-spoilery good things that I’ve missed (I’ve already thought of one) please please DM me or reply or whatever

7) every single way in which the Mona Lisa is used in this movie

8) the fact that I can’t put my finger on it but if you’d told me everything I know about this movie from start to finish without me seeing it, I would’ve assumed I was getting Goncharov’ed

#knives out #glass onion

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demonslayedher · 3 years ago

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Ramble on Exposition Serving the Plot

Writing is hard, let me just get that out there first. Developing stuff is fun, but writing--conveying that interesting stuff in equally interesting ways--is hard. Gotouge-sensei had so, so, so much to convey, while also keeping readers wanting to come back for more every week. And, with this being Sensei's first serialized work, it's unsurprising how much it improves once the characters have been established and the manga finds its flow. I could say (and have said, when asked) a lot about the writing flaws, but I find the flaws so endearing nowadays that I don't like to criticize this manga. KnY wouldn't be KnY without its inherent silliness.

But on the first time around, when I didn't know and feel everything I do now, I found myself disappointed with Inosuke and Zenitsu's introduction to the story. I hated them both at first, though I had come around to Zenitsu by the end of the arc. Inosuke, though, ugh. That fight between Tanjiro and Inosuke felt so unnecessary, and weird what with that 'your face is pretty' bit, and Inosuke bending like a circus performer just because he can, but then especially how there's so little tension remaining after the fight, like Inosuke was all bark and no actual bite. I didn't actually like Inosuke until I saw him moping in bed, hahaha. XD Looking back it's so typical Tanjiro and Inosuke though, isn't it?

That all having been said, I really appreciate some details in how the exposition was worked into the plot.

What got me thinking about this especially was that showing us Zenitsu and Inosuke's heightened senses was actually relevant to the plot. It's really easy to mistake Zenitsu's first mention of sound for a trite exposition drop about how we're liking up a cast of heroes that can be sorted out as easily as Power Rangers, not for what color they wear but what sense they have special abilities with.

But since they were going up against a drum demon, with the drum being played being the very indicator of a demon's power being used, it was the most relevant way to both have Zenitsu notice something that would be very in-character for him to notice, and to get us looking for how sound might be relevant in a demon's powers. This is a laying of exposition groundwork, a red carpet for us to walk on as we march in with our hands cupped and ready to receive worldbuilding info about the demon, as opposed to simply having it dumped on us.

The introduction of Inosuke's senses comes on much, much more subtle, we don't actually gain a good understanding of his abilities until Mt. Natagumo, at which point we've already gotten a good understanding of Zenitsu's hearing, as well as Tanjiro's ability to smell world-specific stuff like Lines of Interval. However, it's first hinted at while Inosuke is running down the halls, dodging right before he'd have been attacked. As first time readers, it's easy to dismiss this entirely as him just having a good reaction, but on second reads you get the "ohhhhhhhhh I know what's happening here" satisfaction.

But what really drives the plot forward is here, when Inosuke has followed the aura of a demon.

Had Inosuke not sensed Nezuko: --Inosuke would have otherwise not had any reason to interact --Zenitsu would have had no reason to protect the box, thereby not giving Tanjiro (and readers) the chance to appreciate an entirely different side of Zenitsu's character --Tanjiro would had been the only one injured to go on to the next arc, leaving him with still only Nezuko to do much interacting with

That's another thing that works really well about the choice to make Inosuke fight Zenitsu as a way of driving the plot--as we had just been introduced to Inosuke and Zenitsu, thereby realistically not caring about them as much yet as we care about Tanjiro, it was too early to give either of them any serious injuries in battle against demons. In their introductions it was crucial we get an understanding for how they function as capable demon slayers and what their fighting style is like. They were fighting zako-oni (random background demons of no consequence) so as not to overshadow Tanjiro's battle with Kyogai, and you couldn't have them get seriously injured by zako-oni.

But if you need them to have some reason to stay in a long-term recovery at the same time as Tanjiro so as to build some bonds with each other before the following arc...? Oh, have them survive their demon encounters only to go and break each other's ribs instead, yes. Excellent work-around. Throw in some Corp rules exposition while you're at it, sure.

As much as I love Kyogai and I believe that fight showed a lot of Tanjiro's maturation as a Demon Slayer (as well as established Gotouge as extremely creative and established Ufotable as very, very ready and willing to show off), the scuffle over Nezuko's box--made possible only by Inosuke and Zenitsu's unique abilities, as well as the two of them revealing aspects of their personality by the decisions they made--was the most meaningful interaction in that whole arc, even if the 'your face is pretty' thing came right after it.

#kny nerdery #when the writing techniques are good they can be very good #but even when they aren't the story is told with so much heart #ultimately if something keeps you reading #then it's accomplishing all it needs to

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mysteriouseggsbenedict · 2 years ago

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episode 8 liveblog!!!

HERE WE GO

I'M VERY SCARED

"i'm having feelings" SAME GIRL SAME

at what point did they change clothes lmao

JKLDFJKLDSJFJKLSDFKL I LITERALLY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY ABOUT NUMBER TWO'S FAMILY LIKE WTF. HER NAME IS "NUMBER". AND THE BROTHE IS "ONE"? AND THEN THERE'S JUST LIKE CHARITY AND ROENA, OKAY THOSE ARE NORMAL, AND "MADAM CHOPS" DJAKLFDJSLFDLJKSF I AM ON THE FLOOR WHAT IS THIS

i'm glad that they're mean to her though because then it makes sense narratively that she left. so it's like more understandable why they decided to have them exist at all.

ONE IS THE YOUNGEST

djfklsdjfkld milligan "i am gaining so much understanding"

oohhhh curtain and mr b....here we go.....

"how crude. that's beneath you" i love (hate) him

OH MY GOD IT HAPPENED. IT HAPPENED. RIGHT BEFORE CURTIAN'S EYES. AND CURTAIN IS WORRIED. OH FUCK. OH GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD OG JDFLKJDSAKLFJSDAKLFJ

[august.exe has crashed]

this is making my heart hurt for number two.....i love her.....

CURTAIN WAS ON THE EDGE OF TEARS. HE WAS STARTING TO CRY. HIS VOICE WAS SHAKING. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD.

OH MY GOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDD

HE WAS FAKING???? OH MY GOD??????????? AND CURTAIN. CURTAIN WAS CRYING

"I LOVE YOU NICHOLAS"

so he did actually get cured??????? wow was not expecting that

curtain you can't just go back to being evil again now after that like bro

this is so out of nowhere

are they just like. he's just redeemed just like that? that's it?

oh no constance

i still am just like.....okay so everyone just accepted curtain is on their side now? just like that?

LMFAOOOO NICHOLAS DOING HIS DRAMATIC RHYMING SPEECH I'M CRYING

(and his little uncontrollable gasp when constnace started twitching oooohhhhh blorbo)

THE NICHOLAS AND NATHANIEL HUG

OHHHHH

HE JUST DOVE INTO THAT

HE WANTED THE HUG SO BAD....OHH.....OHHHHHHHHH

(fast forward to the five weeks later part)

THEY JUST CREATED A NEW VILLAIN? A SISTER? OH MY GOD??? WHAT THE FUCK? WAIT SO ARE THEY TRIPLETS OR IS IT LIKE. A SISTER BUT FROM A DIFFERENT TIME GIVING BIRTH. FUCK IDK WHAT THE TERM FOR THAT IS. FUCK. LMFAO.

LITERALLY SO UNSURE HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS???

love that they're keeping the plot line of constance's backstory for the third season though!

#mbs disney 2

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kagaminelen · 6 months ago

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episode 11

man I really didn't like episode 10's ending. I think I really, truly, wanted her to regret using this poor man. And maybe rethink everything, but just have it be too late to change the course of her previous actions and it all explode in her face anyway

That would've felt like enough of a punishment to me. But instead we have this stupid "good vs. evil" version of herself and the evil one wins for some reason. I think the actual physical fight for control she had in the real world was actually really cheesy.

But I will say, the moment right afterward truly felt like Higurashi. The slight hesitation before being taken over, and the cruel violence happening to someone who you know doesn't deserve it.

I hate to keep saying this, but the OG Higurashi is great at the setup/payoff and simultaneously giving questions and answers so riveting you HAVE to know the answer. Aaaaand then it's a steady decline from the ending of Kai onwards that devolves into this. It's redundant in the worst ways, with absolutely no mystery. You know what's going to happen, and not in the way the very first episode of Higurashi does. You see the violence, and you dread it coming the entire time, unsure of how something so innocent can devolve into something so sad and cruel. Maybe it's warranted? Maybe it's not?

In Gou/Sotsu you expect something bad to happen. The only mystery is how exactly it deviates. I think Onikakushi-hen is just about the only one where I felt that classic Higurashi confusion. Watakakushi-hen or whatever the fuck it's called I think also had the potential. Wataganashi/Meakushi-hen had the switching of the twins, which makes for a very good mystery. But the answer arc for Watakakushi is just not it, save for Mion and Satoko's mystery shoot-out.

Anyways, back to this episode. I hate this stupid little girl. "Can I call you Nii-Nii" all blushy and shit. This girl doesn't even pretend like she gives a shit about her brother in Sotsu. I'll say it again, this would have been a much better sequel if she delusionally thought she could save her brother.

Did I forget who fucking attacked Keiichi. I could've sworn it was Teppei. But I guess not. Ohhhhhhhhh I did forget it was Satoko. What's the point of attacking Keiichi if Rika never even gets a chance to see it. Oh nevermind. It's what sets Ooishi off. How did she know that would set him off, other than his conspiracy theory that the curse was coming to get Teppei. Also if Satoko tells Ooishi that Keiichi did it, then why does he kill Rika. Oh, he just assumes someone told Keiichi to do it. Whatever. I guess it doesn't have to be a story that makes sense since Ooishi is at level 5 anyway

This is one of the weaker arcs of Sotsu.

Like honestly seeing all this shit a second time, it's like cut to black already. The interest of Gou is seeing how this things go wrong, slightly to the left. Once the finale of Gou happens, you don't need Sotsu, at least, in this format. You already know why, findout out how through allmost the exact same lense is so boring. The question/answer arcs of the original were varied and different enough you weren't bored by seeing the same exact thing twice. If Sotsu had a similar structure having either the same scenario with enough different scenes, or a completely different scenario that gives information that gives context to the question arc. Sotsu TRIES to do the former but ends up showing us too much of the question arc. I do not need to see every single bit of it again.

I need to go back and re-examine Wataganashi/Meakushi because it's a perfect example of how to do something but just from someone else's POV

back on the higurashi after a hiatus

finally remembered read mores existed teehee

episode 7 of sotsu, here we come

interesting eau (I always forget the order lol) refers to Rika as a cat. It reminds me of Onikakushi where Keiichi referred to him and Shion as cats when confessing to Rika about going into the storehouse

I think the story would be better if Satoko felt even a little bit bad about doing this to Rika. She sees it more like a necessary evil, but an evil she enjoys participating in. Like, she is smiling and thinks it's fun. If she felt bad about it the entire time, even midway through being like "I don't want to do this to Rika anymore!!!! She's my friend!!!!!" would be enough for me, tbh

Also, interesting rule that Satoko can't die before Rika. idk why it even matters

I sure hope Rika isn't actually listening to the hogwash Satoko is spouting because Rika knows damn well that Hanyuu wanted out of there as well. It wouldn't make any sense for Oyashiro-sama to punish her for wanting to leave, if Oyashiro-sama ALSO wants to leave.

Unfortunately I'm getting better at identifying which loop we're in.

In fact, it hardly makes sense that the same two week period would create this many different situations, no? If most of the characters have no idea they're in a loop, shouldn't they be acting the exact same in every situation?

In any case, it honestly was better the OG had several different arcs because having the exact same loop only works for a movie, not something with 26 episodes

I think taking a break between answer and question arcs in this series is best because I'm now only vaguely aware of what's supposed to happen and I'm not totally bored out of my mind watching it

I think if I accept Teppei as a different person in Sotsu than he was in the OG I can live with liking him. NYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SATOKO IS GONNA FUCKING GET THIS GUY ARRESTED FOR NO REASON AT ALL

okay I think I actually detest this girl. She abuses the one person who she loves because Rika doesn't want to stay with her. And she manipulates everyone into seeing Teppei as an abuser. It's not even just that she brought him back here, she also acts like she's been abused whenever she's out in public. This man is truly full of sorrow and pain for her and she lets him get his reputation ruined. If he didn't act all rough and tough to everyone by default, people might not do anything or even believe Satoko is lying. But because he acts like that, she just lets everyone assume the worst.

I just genuinely don't like her anymore.

I forgive Shion because she had Hinamizawa Syndrome and was acting on behalf of what she thought Satoshi's wishes were. She usually always does, but in that timeline she just thought Satoko being punished is what he would have wanted. In most worlds she adores Satoko and is willing to put her life on the line for her. Satoko is just being a selfish piece of shit. Like there is no rason for her to be this messed up. No logical explanation. Everyone else has the excuse of Hinamizawa Syndrome. There's just something wrong with that girl

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