#oh well homeland to cope i guess

[msburgundy]

SO annoyed about my stupid jaw because i had actually set real goals and now i can't work on parkour probably at all for like at least a month

[sharonisthebettercarter]

you were so obsessed with her grooming people and then mentioned her son in the middle of it

how is anyone supposed to keep track of what you’re accusing her of

the only reason her son is still alive is that he got injected with v by the by

and homelander is the reason teddy almost died but i guess that’s not his fault either nothing ever is because someone groomed him

oh no sweetie, *canon confirmed grooming* and *sexual abuse* among a myriad of other things. very obvious, textbook defined, on screen literally shown to us multiple times, watch the shit again or look up those definitions.

and the only reason marie's parents died was *because she was injected with v*

teddy's a fucking orphan at the red river institute because of his mother and may very well end up tortured, captured, if not killed by butcher or vought *because he was injected with v*

homelander is not the reason teddy almost died.

BUTCHER is the reason teddy almost died because he set off the fucking bomb when there was no need for that. but if you want to play the 'let's go back in time blame game', then uh yeah, it *still* stems back to MADELYN and VOGELBAUM and STAN EDGAR, because of the shit they pulled with first homelander, and then becca, which set butcher off.

and yes, i mentioned her son, *because he was another victim*. like starlight, like maeve, like homelander, like any of the woman she intimidated into silence.

you're so obsessed with defending your capitalist racist white anti-feminism rape culture supporting 'girl boss', you can't take two seconds to acknowledge a single thing she did wrong, let alone let someone fucking breathe for doing so.

i am not the one sending in rank ass anon harrassment to a random person on the internet because i can't fucking cope with the fact someone points out the actual villainy of a fucking *villain*. and i don't go around being part of the 'deny the villain's crimes because we like them/insert reason' club, we acknowledge the crimes and talk nuance when there's some to be seen, and then we move the fuck on whether we like the villain or not.

homelander's, nor billy butcher's, nor vogelbaum's, nor stan edgar's, nor the deep's, *nor any other fucking crimes committed by the men in the series are excuses for the crimes madelyn stillwell committed*, nor has ANYONE excused any of the men for the crimes stillwell committed.

because that's not how crimes fucking work and that's called *whataboutism*.

make a rant in your own space on your own blog defending her if you care so fucking much, leave me the fuck alone, and i'll leave you alone

again. reading. comprehension.

i ain't fittin' to defend a literally confirmed groomer or child abuser--because *and ONLY because* she's a women. i'd've made the same fucking rants about stillwell had she been portrayed by a man with the same fucking insidious, sexually abusive bullshit--and i probably wouldn't be getting harrased by some rabid pedo defending anon for it so go figure~<3!

get the fuck out of here with that shit.

get a fucking life or go masterbate to your groomer goddess, i do not fucking care how much you adore madelyn over all her victims, including her son.

madelyn stillwell was a GREAT villain and a terrible fucking person who hurt countless people for the sake of profit, and none of that has absolutely anything to do with her 'wOmAnHoOd'. end of.

[klixxy]

Genshin Fic Recs

so... i ventured into the vast world of Google looking for some good GI fic recs... only to find such a pitiful amount that i was promptly devastated. therefore, the solution is to make my own! :D

keep in mind most of these will be ChiLi or XingYun, and yes, i will try not to include smut unless it was one i really really liked. if anyone wants a separate list for just smut (though that will most likely be shorter) i can try to make one later.`

ft. my bookmark comments :)

CHILI

wrapped up in pure gold by beyondwinter

(chili; accidental marriage; chili/childe-centric; 22k words; ongoing)

"Do you understand its meaning, Childe?" He finally asks. There's a hard glint in his eyes, like he's trying to steel himself for his answer.

"Yeah." Loyalty and devotion, right? Between business partners? "I do. It's traditional, isn't it?"

Zhongli's eyes glow a warm amber in the near darkness, reflecting the soft shine of the lanterns. He studies his face with a strange intensity, as though Childe were a piece of high quality Nocticulous Jade being sold for suspiciously small sum and he's trying to find the blemishes that would explain the price. The weight of his gaze should be uncomfortable, boring into him like he can see into the very depths of his abyss-tainted soul, but Childe finds himself preening under the attention instead.

Childe accidentally proposes to Zhongli. Zhongli accepts.

The World is Water by Millereflets

(chili; smut; hurt/comfort; chili-centric; 7k words; oneshot)

Childe doesn't visit Zhongli until it's almost too late.

(my bookmarks: HOW DO YOU MAKE A SMUT SCENE SO POETIC HOLY SHITTTTT)

Set in Stone by seredemia

(chili; fake dating au; angst; some smut?; chili/chiilde-centric; 55k words; ongoing)

What do you do when you write about a certain six thousand year old consultant so much in your letters that it somehow convinces your entire family you're not only dating each other, but that you're also engaged?

In Childe's case, the answer is plain and simple: he goes along with it, of course. Absolutely nothing can go wrong if he makes a contract with the God of Contracts, vowing that the two of them will pretend to be lovers for the duration of his family's stay in Liyue. Afterwards, they'll return as normal and speak no more of this mess. No feelings or complications involved whatsoever.

Contract accepted. A fool-proof plan set in stone. Right?

Private Ledger of the Eleventh Harbinger by JuHuaTai

(chili; humor; getting together; chili/ekaterina-centric; 5k words; oneshot)

“So guess what I did next?”

Ekaterina contemplated not answering, but Harbinger Tartaglia was just… grinning and waiting. It’s honestly rather creepy the longer time passed.

In the end, she gave a long suffering sigh that seems lost on him, “You bought him the Erhu—“

“I bought him the antique, cor lapis based Erhu,”

-

When she first left her homeland for the unknown nation of Liyue, Ekaterina was ready to be many things: To be a soldier, to fell Tsaritsa’s enemies in her name, to bring glory to Snezhnaya and her leader.

Being a receptionist in a cozy bank wasn’t so bad in comparison, but she absolutely can do without the front row seat to Harbinger Tartaglia’s (expensive) love life.

i know i'm where i'm meant to go by paperclips (pastel_paperclips)

(chili; humor; fluff; chili-centric; 12k words; ongoing)

"Childe," Zhongli says suddenly. "I am enjoying myself greatly." Childe’s face breaks into a grin. "Then-" Zhongli gasps, grabbing his wrist and tugging him over to an unsuspecting peddler with a cart full of rocks. "Is that an intrusive igneous pegmatite formed in the Inazuma regions?" Childe’s grin smooths into a small, adoring smile. He has all the time in the world to figure the other man out.

OR: Finding the Geo Archon is on Childe's to-do list but hanging out with Zhongli is significantly more fun.

CHILIVEN

Crumbling Stone by avtorSola

(chiliven; ANGST; PAIN; mind control; zhongli-centric; 74k words; ongoing)

When Morax unleashes his plan to test the Liyue Qixing and his adepti, he does not take into account the stirring of the Abyss Order in the north and the corruption of Dvalin - for why would he fear an organization that works in such shadows? He is secure in his power, after all, unlike his flighty ex, the absentee archon of Mondstadt who rises only when his people are in danger.

But, somehow, the Abyss Order discovers his plan. Somehow, they capitalize on it. And he, the God of Stone who cannot sicken, is struck down - taken by an order bent on destroying all of humanity as Liyue crumbles around him. For even Archons aren't immune to Durin's blood, and Morax is no exception. But then the question becomes - if even Archons may fall to the agony of this corrupting burn - how is their traveling friend Aether immune?

The answer comes from beyond the stars - an ancient malice that knows no kindness or mercy. A malice whose legacy the Abyss Order now bears, seeking to topple all the Archons and their people into the void of utter destruction. And they have begun in Liyue.

Fortunately, it takes a long time to erode stone.

(my bookmarks: IM SCREAMING AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA)

PLATONIC ZHONGVEN

left-behind city by trixstar

(platonic zhongven; angst; ANGST; venti-centric; 1k words; oneshot)

"An associate of mine has just informed me that Rex Lapis, the Geo Archon has been assassinated."

Venti blinks.

Or: Venti and how he copes with finding out he is all that remains.

i circle ten thousand years long; and i still do not know if i am a falcon, a storm, or an unfinished song by birdsofpassage

(platonic zhongven; angst; hurt/comfort; zhongven-centric; 4k words; oneshot)

Venti and Zhongli, and the vignettes of a much-needed vacation around Mondstadt.

(my bookmarks: ; - ;      ;  -  ; )

oh ye with little faith by air_fried_air

(platonic zhongven; angst; hurt/comfort; zhongven-centric; 2k words; oneshot)

Two former archons do a little tour around Mondstadt.

(my bookmarks: why are all genshin angst fics so melancholy.... i feel so empty)

the wind through the mountain tops by glassdrachma

(platonic zhongven; humor; hurt/comfort; zhongven-centric; 21k words; finished)

Boredom brings Barbatos of Mondstadt to bother a certain ex-Archon of the Earth.

(my bookmarks: venti zhongli friendship venti zhongli friendship venti zhongli friendship venti zhongli friendship venti zhongli friendship venti zhongli friendship venti zhongli friendship venti zhongli friendship venti zhongli friendship venti zhongli friendship venti zhongli friendship venti zhongli friendship venti zhongli friendship venti zhongli friendship venti zhongli friendship venti zhongli friendship venti zhongli friendship-)

XINGYUN

the art of exorcism by Agried

(xingyun; ghost au; hurt/comfort; chongyun-centric; 9k words; oneshot)

On the road back from one of his jobs, Chongyun runs into Xingqiu, the wandering swordsman. And then they keep meeting, over and over again. or, alternately; how a ghost and an exorcist learn how to love, one step at a time.

Bane of All Evil by tzitzimeme

(xingyun; humor; romance; chongyun-centric; 24k words; hiatus)

When Chongyun unintentionally offends Liyue's second most powerful adepti, he vows to mend the thorny relationship between Adeptus Xiao and human exorcists-- even though no one has succeeded in currying Xiao's favor for over a thousand years.

His best friend Xingqiu offers to come alone, mainly because he's worried about what kind of trouble Chongyun will run into. Along the way, they receive help from others: Xiangling packs them meals for their journeys, while Zhongli gives them advice on what demons to track.

Childe is just there because he thinks the whole thing is hilarious.

[On indefinite hiatus due to burnout; sorry!]

kiss me slowly (so i don't forget) by xiwangmu

(xingyun; humor; romance; light angst; xingqiu-centric; 8k words; oneshot)

Wangshu Inn Bulletin Board

Guest Message: My best friend whom I harbor affections for kissed me last night, but due to his special condition he does not recall a single moment of it. I am quite conflicted about whether to disclose these events to him or not, because that would most certainly require me to confess my feelings as well. If anyone has experience in romancing boys with excessive positive energy, this one humbly asks you to share some advice.

Reply: Our greatest apologies—although we would like to offer some words in response, we simply cannot decipher your handwriting. Perhaps you may return with a neater message next time?

time trials by idlestars

(xingyun/many ships; humor; modern au; xingyun-centric; 2k words; oneshot)

A modern social media AU.

Xingqiu Teases Demons. Chongyun Almost Cries. [The clip shows Xingqiu, lit by the sickly green of night vision, as he stares bored into a dark room. He’s alone - Chongyun left to see if Xingqiu could lure out the ghosts. Xingqiu glances at the camera, smirks, and then opens his mouth.

“Hey demons, it’s me, yah boy.”]

OTHER/GEN

woe be the wallet of the god of wealth by glassdrachma

(gen; humor; identity reveal; keqing/zhongli-centric; 12k words; finished)

Or, the story of how the Yuheng of the Qixing came to idolize, befriend, and discover the identity of the God of Geo, in that order.

(personal comments: hilarious, made me burst out into laughter multiple times, and was just a masterful piece of writing)

to dream of dust by miao_x

(guili/gen; ANGST; hurt/no comfort; zhongli-centric; 5k words; oneshot)

Some nights, Zhongli dreams.

He dreams of soft light, golden song, and a gentle breeze whispering tales of millennia past. It is warm, familiar, and comforting.

It feels like home.

And then he opens his eyes, and awakes to reality.

(my bookmarks: oh zhongli... made me cry)

To drown in your own tears by C_rin_nyan

(guili/gen; ANGST; TEARS; PAIN; zhongli-centric; 2k words; oneshot)

As Rex Lapis, he had never shed a tear, even as he slaughtered hundreds, destruction following his every step. As Zhongli, he had shed much more than he would like to admit, however.

Or, “Zhongli’s soul gave its last scream long ago, yet even now, the echo of said sound was still strong enough to reach Rex Lapis.”

[fific7]

Dangerous and Divine - Part 16

Billy Russo x Reader

Summary: Billy Russo is an itch you don’t want to scratch. But he’s all over you like a rash.

A/N: This does not follow canon, it’s mainly fluff & lemon zest 🍋 The GIF is from Exposed, unreleased pilot show in case you’re wondering 😌... Billy vibes.

Warnings: 18+ NSFW due to mentions of sex. Some drinking & swearing.

(My GIF)

So... after your heart-rate slowed back down to normal, you realised that, no matter how much you possibly empathised about Billy dropping her, there was no way you were going to sit back and let Madani keep coming after your man. She’d have a fight on her hands, that you could promise her.

You were trying to concentrate on your paperwork, you really were. But your mind kept circling back to Madani. Coming to a decision, you stood up and grabbed your things. Making your way downstairs, you walked through the café, stopping to let your team know that you’d be out for a while.

Getting on the subway, you made your way to Homeland HQ and asked the receptionist if you could speak to Agent Madani, specifying that you’d meet her there in Reception. You weren’t going to meet her in private, that was for damn sure. The receptionist made a call, then asked you to take a seat.

After a fifteen-minute wait, Madani and her heels came clicking their way over to you. Her eyebrows were presently in a permanently raised position. Standing up, you nodded to her and forced yourself to say civilly, “Good morning, Agent Madani.”

She nodded back at you, lips pursed. “You realise that approaching me while you have an active complaint against me is not correct procedure.”

Shrugging, you replied, “About as correct as you approaching Billy and asking him to meet you.” She flinched back, and you realised she didn’t think he would’ve told you. You carried on, “Agent Madani, this has got to stop. I feel you’re just going to keep on contacting him regardless, and you’re just going to keep getting rejected.” She opened her mouth to reply, but you held up your hand, “Hear me out, please. Look, I get it, I really do - you thought you might have something going for you with Billy. Then you find out he’s met someone else and he drops you. And I’m sorry about that. I wouldn’t be happy about that if it happened to me.”

She glanced round quickly to check there was no-one within earshot, before glaring back at you, but you carried on nevertheless, “I know you don’t believe this, but Billy and I do have a relationship, a real relationship - and yes, it’s all happened very quickly but sometimes that’s just how things do happen.” Folding her arms across herself, she huffed and said, “You’re right I don’t believe it. Billy Russo is the biggest damn player in New York City and if you think you’ve tied him down, you’re more of a fool than I thought. A damn naive, stupid, oblivious little fool.”

You nodded, “Uhuh... well, I thought a woman-to-woman talk about it might help, but I guess it’s obvious where you stand, and you’re not budging.” You started moving away, “Well, if I’m a fool then fine! - I’m a fool. That’ll be my problem to sort out. Bye, Agent Madani.” Turning, you made your way out of the building without a backward glance.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy was slowly swinging from one side to the other in his chair. His head was lying back against the headrest and his eyes gazed up at the ceiling. He was daydreaming about his girl, something he found himself doing more and more often these days. Thinking back to his visit to her office that morning, a slight smile curved over his lips. He loved it when she initiated sex. Not only did it give a big boost to his male ego - that he couldn’t deny - but it made him go all soft inside. To him, it meant that she wanted him as much as he wanted her, meant it wasn’t him starting things all the time. That’s what he was used to, after all. He’d always been the one in control.

He chuckled to himself, what in the fuck was happening to him? He was turning into a big gooey mess of a man. Shaking his head, he stood up and wandered over to the glass wall, looking down onto the training area below. He’d better get a grip of himself or one of the newbies would get one over on him, and he couldn’t have that.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You made it back to Chelsea shortly after your unproductive meeting with Madani. Slamming your office door behind you and flouncing over to your desk, you plopped down into your chair, dropping your bag down beside you.

That obtuse bloody woman!!! And she called you a fool! Pot and kettle, love, you thought, pot and bloody kettle. Now you were going to have to admit to Billy that you’d also met up with her, and all for nothing - a complete and utter waste of time. Oh well, at least you’d tried. Not your fault she couldn’t see the wood for the trees.

But if she chased after Billy just once more, you wouldn’t be responsible for your actions - Homeland agent or not.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Madani was quietly stewing back in her office. How dare she try to do the sister act thing, ‘I get it, I really do’ .....just who does she think she is?! Miss Bloody Perfect.

She would just bide her time. There was no way on god’s green earth that Billy Russo would stay faithful to her, it just wasn’t happening.

He’d damn well admitted he’d been attracted to her. That was enough for her, to grasp onto that small sliver of hope and hold onto it tight.

And when he did fall off the Faithful Wagon, she’d make sure she was there to see it. And to catch him as he fell.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

After texting Billy to say you quite fancied a Vietnamese takeaway this evening, you went down into the café a little later on and had a long chat with Jake, catching him up on the Scorned Woman Situation. He started making you a macchiato, commenting, “She just really doesn’t get it, does she?” You leant closer to him, saying in a low voice, “The thing is, she’s succeeded in planting a seed of doubt in my head.” “What... about Billy?” You nodded, looking down. “He did have quite the reputation before he met me you know, Jake.”

He nodded, “You said. Are you thinking a leopard can’t change its spots?” You sighed, taking the small cup and saucer from him, “Well, yeah. She keeps saying he won’t stay faithful to me, hell - she even said it to his face! And... it is making me worry, I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t. Everything’s fine now, but what if he gets bored? Sees a pretty face out and about somewhere, feels what he says he feels about me for them?”

Jake shrugged, “But that’s the test any relationship faces. You can’t play it out on ‘maybes’ and ‘what ifs’. Just gotta go with ‘the here and now’. Don’t you?” Nodding, you sipped your coffee before laughing, “What you say is true, oh Yoda.” He laughed, “I am wise beyond my years, little one!” You heard the café door opening behind you, and Jake chuckled, “And talk of the devil...!” Turning your head, you saw Billy homing in on you, big smile on his face and eyes glued to you. Jake whispered, “That looks like a pretty faithful doggy to me!”

You subtly elbowed him, before fully turning to Billy and smiling back. “Hello, handsome,” you greeted him, and you were surprised to see Billy’s face go a slight shade of pink. “Hi, beautiful,” he said back, before leaning down and kissing you shyly. His hand slid down your side and took hold of your fingers, lacing his with yours, eyes gazing into yours. Okay, you thought, I know I’ve been ribbing him about being a big sap but this is a whole new level of sappiness.

You drained the last of your coffee, and said to Jake, “I’m taking off now, Jakey boy, you OK to close up?” He mock-bowed, “But of course, my Princess.” You caught an irritated look on Billy’s face and smiled to yourself, he really was a jealous ass. With or without good reason.

You nipped back upstairs to get your things and when you came back down, you saw Jake and Billy almost facing off against each other, eyes glaring. What the....? You walked quickly over to them, “Hey, guys?” They broke eye contact, Jake looking embarrassed as he met your eyes, “Uhh... have a nice evening.” You swung round to Billy, who was studying his shoes with great interest. “Okay, Jake - thanks, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Billy’s head came up, “No! She won’t be in tomorrow.”

“What? Now, Billy, you know I’m always in the cafés on Saturday mornings,” you said with a hint of warning in your voice. He looked back at Jake, “I’ve got plans for tomorrow. You can cope, can’t you?” Jake bristled, “Of course I can!” Billy looked back at you, “See? All under control. Just for once, have a Saturday off, please sweetheart.” You looked at Jake, who just smiled at you, so you nodded, “OK, just this once, Russo.” Billy smirked in triumph and took your hand, pulling you along with him towards the door as you waved at Jake.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy almost dragged his girl out of the café, before that bastard Jake could say anything else. Who did that cheeky little shit think he was, trying to give him the “don’t hurt her or you’ll answer to me for it” speech! Her fuckin’ father or something?!

He was seething, but trying to hide it. Once they were both in the car and pulling out into the traffic, she turned slightly towards him, and he could feel her eyes boring into him, “Okay, Russo - spill.”

Sighing, he looked in his rear view mirror as he changed lanes and replied, “Your little pal back there started coming on like your Dad or big brother or sumthin’. Givin’ me the whole “if you mess her around I’ll come after you” spiel.”

Oh Jake, you thought, you numbskull. He meant well but.... obviously Billy hadn’t been impressed. You heaved a sigh and Billy glanced over at you, before making a right turn and swinging the car into his building’s underground parking lot.

“Look, that was my fault,” you said, as he parked up in his space and turned off the engine. He glanced over at you, “What d’ya mean, angel?” he asked as he unbuckled his seat belt, before opening his door and walking round to open yours. “Well... uhh, I went to see Madani this morning.” He was in the process of taking your hand as you got out of the car, but stopped and looked at you, mouth open. “You did what?” You slammed the car door. “Billy! I’m sick of her chasing after you!” He raised the remote and bleeped the car locked.

“Angel, you gotta be careful with her, she’s looking for ammo to fire back at us!” You nodded, “I know that. I met her in Reception so it was in public. I thought I’d try the woman-to-woman chat.” He took your hand in his as you both started walking to the lift doors. “Did it work?” he asked. “No it didn’t! She’s the most obtuse, stubborn woman I’ve come across in a long time.” “Uh-huh, that she definitely is. Tell me what you said to her?” The lift arrived and the doors opened, you and Billy walking into it. “Well, I told her that I got it. She thought she was gonna get somewhere with you, and you dropped her. I said I wouldn’t have been happy either. But that it had to stop, as she was just going to keep getting rejected.”

Billy chuckled, “Oh my, that must’ve gone down well.” You laughed, “She doesn’t believe we have an actual relationship, she said you were the biggest player in NYC and you’d never stay faithful to me. I get the feeling she’s gonna hang around just willing it to happen.” Billy tightened his grip on your hand, stroking your hair with his other hand, then your cheek. Before he could speak, you jumped in with, “And I might’ve admitted to Jake that she’d managed to plant that seed of doubt in my mind.” He closed his eyes, putting his head back against the lift wall. “Angel, please don’t be listenin’ to her bullshit!”

The lift doors opened, and you both began walking along to his apartment door. He suddenly stopped, wrapping his arms around you and kissing you hard. He pulled back, his dark eyes looking pained as he gazed at you, “You know she’s just tryin’ to stir things up between us, don’t you? That’s what she wants, for you to question me and my behaviour, to be suspicious of me, for us to argue.” He kissed you again, before burying his face in your hair, “Well, I ain’t gonna let that happen, sweetheart,” you heard, “....she ain’t gonna come between us. I will be faithful to you, I promise. Don’t want anyone else.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

After a very tasty and spicy Vietnamese meal which Billy had ordered in, you both lazed on the sofa nursing your beers. He was looking at you anxiously every so often, and eventually he burst out, “I swear to you on all that’s holy, I’ll keep it in my pants!” He was gazing at you, eyes wide and deep and dark and full of fear. Yes, fear. You reached over and laid your hand along his bristly cheek, “It’s okay, Billy! I believe you, poppet.” The smirk was back, “Uh, not with the poppet thing again!”

You laughed, “Yes! You’re my big sexy poppet.” Eyebrow wiggle, “Well, when you put it like that,” and your hand was lifted up and then placed under his sweatshirt, onto his lower abdomen, where you could stroke the treasure trail of hairs leading ever downwards to his ‘crown jewels’. “Mmmm,” he smiled, eyes closing, “....you gonna keep going, sweetheart?” You didn’t bother replying, just slid your hand further down and under the waistband of his briefs. You still marvelled at how big and hard Billy got, and you very happily took hold of what was clearly marked as ‘your property’ as far as you were concerned.

You relished the feel of his velvety skin and gave him a couple of very firm strokes, before cupping his balls in the palm of your other hand and squeezing. You were pleased to hear a long, low groan from Billy and looked up at him, seeing that his eyes were tight shut in pleasure.

“So, Billy,” you asked, “...what’re these plans you’ve got that are so important I had to take Saturday off?” He opened his eyes and grinned at you, “Can’t possibly tell ya, it’s a surprise.” You took a much firmer grip of him and his hips jerked forward, “Are you sure about that, Billy?” He laughed nervously, but replied, “Very sure, sweetheart.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

@blackbirddaredevil23 @galaxyjane @omgrachwrites @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @ourloveisforthelovely @swthxrry

[shadow--link]

List of things that I don't get because Ganon sucked as a 'parent' and I hate humans but the list gets more concerning the more you read it

uh tw this is kinda a vent

1: People liking 'toe beans' What is so cool about an animal's feet grippers. and like, I saw them on a fersona and they had human hands..that is very imprracticall..just..why

2: Calling things cute. it fucking makes me sick. I hear it so much I wanna burn something. Like people calling a shirt cute and the shirt is one piece of a cloth that barly covers their breasts. No. It's not cute, it's gross.

3: Sticking your tongue out trying to be cute/sexy The amount of rage that boils inside me when I see someone stick out their tongue is insane. I feel so fucking pissed and I don't know why. I wanna punch them in the face and rip out their tongue then burn it.

4: People that I look up to liking something I know shit about I feel bad that I don't know this thing you really like and I wanna relate with you but if all you talk about is this thing I know nothing about I feel dumb and stupid like I wanna cry and why am I your friend when we have nothing in common..I just feel bad and I hate it and I don't know why.

5: Not knowing 100% of a hyperfixation Like I kinda enjoy the DreamSMP but there's things in it that I don't know..it took me weeks to figure out what o7 meant (it's a salute) and like EVERYONE knew what it was and I didn't and I felt like a fake fan cause I don't know what this thing is and it's CLEARLY IMPORTANT but I don't know what it is cause I joined the fandom late and now I'm the stupid one

6: any word that ends in 'isum' Like... "oh nooo the people that have more meletonin then me are evil" the fuck. Why is that even a thing. "Oh no, person have boobie and coochie. Person stupid. I have penis. I smart." why. Y'all are all Hylians. Just..fucking GAH stAHP with it. It makes no sense. What's so bad about someone being a different colour then you? IT'S A FUCKING COLOUR GUHHHHHH also "oh no man kissed another man the world is gonna end." Why. THey're just kissing. I don't..H

7: I can't remember shit for shit Why is forgetting things a thing. I hate it. SOmetimes I can't remember what my favorite "insert noun here" is! Like someone will ask me "Hey what's your favorite food??" And I don't fucking know! WHY DON'T I FUCKING KNOW?? IT'S mY FAVORITE FOOD! I SHOULD KNOW THESE THINGS! But I don't.. like, I think it's sushi.. but now that I think about it, sushi is kinda gross. So it could be pizza.. but.. ok there's nothing bad about pizza, but..I sound like a dumb little kid saying that..

8: I'm close to being an adult Ganon forced me to grow up from a young age. I don't remember my childhood..probably because I didn't have one. Man, this thouht hurts the most.. I've been forced to mature far before I'm ready..I'm still 15..I'm still a kid...but no, I'm almost 16 and at 16 I HAVE to get a job or I'll just be sitting around the castle like a worthless sack of fleash... and well, I am in a batter situation now, I'm living in the castle with Link and his family.. no longer with abusive Ganon.. but Link's Dad is still scary when he yells...and he expects me to work when I'm 16 and to stop mooching off of him in my mid 20's...but... I don't feel like I'm ready.. I can't function on my own... I really can't...and..I finally worked up the courage to tell Zelda that.. but Link's Dad heard me say that, and he said "So I've failed you? It's my job to prepare you for the outside world!"..or something like that.. it made me feel so upset.. I ran out of the room and fled to my bed to cry, and wanting to die.. I'm not suicidal. I'm scared of death. But in that moment..I really wanted to die.

9: Talking about feelings I never vent. This is like the 3rd time I've vented. Besides in Among Us. hheh, sorry. I couldn't help myself..humor is how I cope with stuff. Guess I now understand why the 'funny friend' in memes is portrayed as sad when alone..cause at the end of the day, that's what I am. Alone. with no one to talk too. Guess that's why I went back to this blog to vent.. Link might see this and talk to me, though. And I know Vio will be talking through him. Just hope he doesn't scold me about putting this on Tumbler lol........what was I saying.. oh right.. talking about feelings is hard for me. When I was young, before Ganon stole me from my homeland, I was always an outcast. The one time I went to school, everyone hated me. Now that I look back, it's probaly cause I have autism and ADHD. Well, I might have them. Not diagnosed yet. But Me and Zelda have done the reasurch. A tone of it. And there's no way I'm nerotypical. But anyway. No one wanted to be my friend when I was a child. Probably why Ganon took me away. I wouldn't be missed. And I wasn't. Only a few remembered who I was when I returned to Lorole after breaking the mirror. I spelled that wrong but don't care. And the friends I made as a kid...I couldn't find them..and any friends I did make...man..I was such an asshole towards. I.. was transphobic towards this one friend...I feel so bad about it. I hate how I used to act. I hate it. I fucking hate it so much I just wanna- no. that's not me anymore. No more killing.

10: The medical system Why do ya gotta wait years to get diagnosed for mental disorders. WHy do you gotta be an adult to get trans uh helping surgery. Why do ya gotta wait till 16 to get on hormone blockers. THEY AIN'T GONNA BLOCK SHIT NO MORE, I ALREADY WENT THROUGH PUBORTY AND IT ENDED AT LIKE 14 FOR ME!... at least my chest is small. I am so greatful that my chest is small and can be hidden in a bif shirt. "bUt ShAdOw LiNk, YoU'rE a BoY" well I'm glad you think that, asshole. SOmetimes, when a Lohian/shadow/shade is born, they're the oppaside of Hylians, right? Well, sometimes the gender is reversed as well..so...Link is male, I was born a female. Hada stupid ass name that sounds like raw-vio lmao. But I didn't like that. So I changed..I.. wanted to be Link, but different.. so I called myself Lync, cause that looks cool. But Ganon was like "No, that sounds like Link, and he's an asshole. Don't call yourself Lync." So he called me Shadow Link.. and well, that's the only thing Ganon has done to me that I don't hate...but now that I think about it, I kinda relate to the Lohian god Loki and wanna call myself that instead. But anyway..when I failed at anything, Ganon would call me by my deadname. I hated it.. when I would win, he would call me Shadow Link. And I started to hate my deadname...now I hate it cause it's too girly. Reminds me of the old old me. I think I got off track. oh well.

this had been a list of shit that pisses me off. There might be more to add to this but I'm sad, it's late, and I don't want Link yelling at me. Goodnight.

[jiankimura-ffxiv]

The Legacy of the Broken Lance

Jian raps at the hard, oaken doors before clearing his throat and patting down his clothes, making sure his furs are in order. His chest pocket empty, the soul crystal remains behind at the Forgotten Knight, a precautionary measure in case his shade wished to throttle the man who seeks to criminalize the dark arts.

The door creaks opened, and an elderly eleven greeted him.

“Hello, I’m Jian Kimura. Chartered accountant of Limsa Lominsa, Vylbrand, Eorzea. Acting finan-“

“My master, Gilles Raoult, has been waiting for you.”

“-cial- Oh. Uh, sorry.” Jian chuckles nervously as he bows humbly. 

The door widens to invite him into the warm interior of the house. The lacquered walls are homely, made of wooden support beams and white plaster. Light emanates dimly from glass wall lamps stalled down the hall and up the stairs. The servant of the house escorted him to a brightly lit study room, with books lining the walls to the ceiling. A large window let in the morning light onto a clean, ornate desk and a pair of lush sofas facing each other with a low, coffee table between them.

A tall Elezen man -judging to be two heads taller than the accountant- stood to the side of the windows, watching the snow fall. The dark shades of his red satin suit accented his silvery blonde hair and pale, youthful face. If Jian had to guess, he would probably be ten or twenty years his elder. He subconsciously rubs at his aging sun-touched skin, thinking about it.

“Tea or coffee?” A firm voice erupted from the man, startling the Hyur from his thoughts.

“Uh tea. Thank you.”

The Ishgardian turns around; his violet eyes glance over him as he then looks to his servant.

“Tea for two, Rene. With cream and sugar on the side.”

Rene bows quietly, closing the door behind Jian, leaving both in the studies in uncomfortable silence as the statesman examines the highlander, from the wild wisps of his black hair, down to the wet leather boots. Gilles speaks up, offering the man a seat at one of the sofas.

“Jian Kimura.”

“Aye, that is me.” Jian smoothes down his coat again as he moves to sit.

“You are my first visitor that is not of Ishgardian citizenry. However, that letter you sent piqued my interest in your concerns, seeing as I am indeed the editor of Leaves from a Nymeia Lily.”

“Well, it’s been an honor, sir, to invite me here to have this discussion, as I’m just simply waiting for the trade hearings.”

Gilles put a hand over his chest, realizing his motion in the house of commons had left behind an inconvenience to a visitor. “Oh, well, I do humbly apologize for prolonging your stay in Ishgard, but the matters in regards to my legislation could no longer be ignored by my peers.”

“So, these dark knights, have they been that much of a large threat to Ishgard? From what I’ve discerned from the locals is that they don’t work in an organization of sorts, and so far, I don’t see them running around causing havoc, let alone seeing any.”

“The powers they wield are a much larger threat, second from the Dravanians. And since Dravanian are now our allies, instead of our enemies, most of the heresy laws have changed to criminal laws, and the dark knights are to be given no quarter or exceptions.”

“You are confident in that assessment.” The door opens once more, letting in a tray of tea and biscuits.

“Of course, I proudly specialize in handling them when I worked as a senior inquisitor prior to the end of the dragonsong war. You see, the dark arts these knights wield are amplified by their raw emotions. The stronger the emotions, the more potent their spells. There have been written records of incidents where dark knights were consumed by the arts, and caused untold slaughter and destruction in their wake, threatening the peace within the borders of Ishgard and Coerthas.”

Jian rubs his chin in deep thought, “If the dark arts is drawn by one’s emotions, shouldn’t there be more dark knights? From my experience in my field of duty, there are quite a number of folks with emotional personas, but I’ve not seen any that seem to be dark knights.”

“Well, that just means either I did my job well or they are well hidden,” Gilles chuckles, before his face returned to his serious demeanor, “As a means to handle these cases and identify suspects of the dark arts, I had to understand the source of their arts, the Abyss.”

“The Abyss?” Jian raises his brow incredulously.

“From what I’ve observed, the abyss is the source of one’s inner darkness. It mostly consists of one’s vices and personal trauma. Everyone has them, and several acted on them. The dark knights, however, somehow formed aethereal magic with the abyss, at the cost of being driven into insanity or death when they draw too much.”

“So, you are saying, if a dark knight loses control of their emotions, the magic will make them crazy?” He frowns in concern.

Gilles nods, “And I have experienced the consequences of the repercussions.”

“Surely, there’s a means to dispel the abyss, or control their powers. If someone finds it, then the knights won’t be a threat anymore.” Jian gestures in thought, “Sorry to offend, but I tend to consider long term solutions that don't require offing people.”

“None taken, Mister Kimura, but once someone drinks from the abyss, they are at the mercy of the abyss for the rest of their life.”  Elezen closes his eyes for a brief moment in thought. “However, there was once a means to somehow prevent the abyss from consuming a dark knight, despite having fallen.” 

“And that is?”

“It’s a lost cause.” He sighs as he opens his eyes, looking up at a painted portrait of an elder Elezen, with similar striking violet eyes and dark gray hair, holding a serious expression that borders between fatigue and determination. Jian furrows his brow, and his eyepiece whirs quietly, feeling some familiarity with the man, like he recognized his shape somewhere.

“Say, are you interested in some family history of mine?”

Jian leans over to pick up the teacup from a tray on the coffee table, before sitting back and making himself comfortable.

“Well, I do enjoy listening to stories.”

“You might enjoy this one then, as it had been stricken from the written history of Ishgard.” He looks back up at the painting.

“That portrait you are seeing is Sir Jacques de Raoult of the Stalwart Lance. That was his full title. Now, he goes by Jacques Raoult of the Broken Lance. He was a decorated dragoon who belonged to a well-established house under the Fortemps, one of the four high houses of Ishgard. He was a fierce warrior and well-versed with Halone’s scripture. With so many dravanians slain under his lance during the early era of the war, he was chosen to be the next Azure Dragoon.”

Jian tilts his head in thought, as he sips from the tea cup.

The statesman continues, pacing back and forth, “Then one fateful day, he decided to defend a caravan of heretics during a Dravanian attack onto Ishgardian soil. The Holy See was displeased by his actions, indicted him for dereliction of duty,  and sentenced him to trial-by-combat as a means to restore honor to the Raoult house.”

“He lived?”

The Elezen’s face darkens. “He survived indeed, and the house of Raoult fell into obscurity for his actions alone. What was even worse was finding out months later that he was consorting with the dark knights.”

“And so now you are on a crusade against them?”

“Whatever it takes to restore the Raoult name for the sins of my forefather. The portrait is just a painful reminder of what I am fighting against.”

“So, what happened to Jacques afterwards?”

“The dishonored coward fled the lands, abandoned our family, so he could live a different life under a different name. Judging by your letter concerning a book I edited, you are familiar with an author named Fudo Yasumura.”

“Yes, I-wait. Fudo Yasumura was your ancestor?” Jian nearly choked on his tea. 

“The very same.”

The highlander looks down at his emptied cup, feeling the room shrinking all of the sudden. He stares once more at the portrait.

“So, Fudo- I mean- Jacques had the remedy to cope with the abyss?”

“Of the sort, but his scriptures were not accepted in Ishgard. No one would read to the harmless ramblings of a dark knight’s thoughts, fearing being branded a heretic. I had to take the liberty of editing the literature so it would remain in Ishgard.”

“So, you can not use it to help the dark knights cope with their problems because the un-edited book itself is heresy?”

“The book is merely half the solution. The other half also requires the soul crystal that housed the memories of Jacques de Raoult.”

The accountant blinks, “And he died somewhere in the Far East. That sounds like finding a needle in a haystack then.” “As I said, it’s a lost cause.” Gilles sighs, “And so, we must cull the knights as tradition.”

Jian returns the tea cup back onto the tray, “I thank you for your insight, but I shall not overstay my visit.”

“You’re welcome. Pray tell, what made you decide to stay in Ishgard? You could have left when the trade talks were postponed.”

“Oh, well, it's rather an embarrassing reason, but I tend to get air sick, and had only ordered enough medication for a round trip. And of Ala Mhigan descent, I don’t work well with the cold to travel on foot.”

“I see. Well, I hope you enjoy your stay, Jian Kimura.”

He stands up, and gives a curt bow as Gilles opens the door out to the hallway. Rene awaits at the entrance, stoically opening the door to the bitter cold. Jian pauses midway out, and he turns.

“I almost forgot, Sir Raoult, but do you have the original manuscript of the Leaves from the Nymeia Lily? I lost my copy decades ago when the Garleans invaded my homeland.”

“Unfortunately, no. It had to be burned like the rest of the heretical manuscripts.”

“Ah, forget that I asked,” And the man leaves.

[tarithenurse]

Agent of Hope - 27

Your world falls into ruin together with the Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcements Logistics Division when you find out that your boyfriend isn’t one of the good guys. Pairing: Brock Rumlow x fem!reader, Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader Contents: Errors (trying to stay awake to switch to night shifts), pain, detailed violence, quite nasty hints, angst, fluff, sadness, basically everything horrible you can imagine. A/N: You’ll find the previous chapters through my masterlist. Lots of love for liking and reblogging!!

27 - Kick Ass and chew Bubble Gum

It’s a tension at the back of your knees. It’s muscles itching to work overtime – fight or flight. It’s a sour taste at the back of your mouth at the point where no amount of water can wash it away. Still it doesn’t matter because what you’re doing, your mission of sorts, is going to be worth everything.

It’s taken much too long to get to this point where your walking up the dusty lane towards an inconspicuous house in the outskirt of…where’s this again? Somewhere in Sierra Leone. You had known, memorized the town’s name as well as anything else. Memorized the plan. Now, however, it’s replaced by a memory of something that hasn’t even happened yet, making your skin crawl as cold shivers run down the spine. Red sand clings to the boots (much too warm for the temperature). Like blood.

“Something nice…” you mumble, grasping at a flicker spark of joy before it’s swallowed, “…something nice…”

Red like fiery hair. And suddenly, it’s possible to recognize the blue of the sky in the teasing sparkle of a pair of grey eyes capable of looking into your very soul, making you feel safe and at home. The churning lead in your guts lessens. Now you can let the shoulders sink and even look up towards the goal: a heavy door painted green behind which Rumlow waits.

 …   Rumlow   …

Every single note and stick-figure drawing Brock has received from [Y/N] is kept in a tin as evidence. At first her replies had been brief, hesitant in the wording and quite confrontational…but that was to be expected. She has still to admit her feelings for him, but it’s obvious as the communication extends how she recognizes the true nature of the Avengers. Why spend resources on catching someone, when they are willing to come on their own.

Brock isn’t a fool. Far from. There’s always the risk of a double-cross, his own plan mirrored to out him or more of Hydra. And regardless of the reasoning for [Y/N] to come today, she will have to be processed and vetted before he will allow himself to trust her. But it will be much easier this time.

Watching the screen, the ex boyfriend sees the hesitation melt away from the figure to be replaced with resolution. Come to me, baby. All the other screens show…nothing. No, would-be heroes. No pesky Mister Rogers with a shield and the American flag so far up his ass that he can’t relax. No red-head traitor. All alone? It’s hard to believe, so Brock doesn’t, flicking a switch instead that light a tiny, orange diode in the two free-rooms, as the team have started calling the scan-blocking basement sections. On your marks.

There’s a muted sound of footsteps outside preceding the knocking on the door. Twice, a pause, and once. Good girl.

He’s smiling as he unlocks and pulls the door aside just a crack to see the nervousness on [Y/N]’s face, but it’s not enough to drown the stubborn set of the jaw or the air of…excitement? Eager to come home?

“What’s a girl like ya doin’ in a place like this…?” Such a cliché, but it rolls off Brock’s tongue with a neat drawl.

The hint of an eyeroll also hints at times passed. “Girl’s just wanna have fun. Nice decoy to free me up from ‘em.”

Them. Not Natasha or Steve or whatever. “Only the best for ya, as always.” She has said the password but hesitates to enter when Brock opens the door fully. “C’m’on in, babe.”

“How long we got?”

“They’re smart, but th’ain’t that smart…I’ll guess an hour.” There’s a tickle of something he can’t place in the woman’s smile. “The cool air’s escaping, get it.”

Like in a dream, she really does step over the threshold, carefully keeping a bit of distance between them. I should’ve expected that. It still gnaws inside Brock, tugs at the side of him that needs the bitch to understand, to accept her place. But he bites it back. All the anger and possessiveness is shoved deep down somewhere dark because he knows he’ll bring her to her senses. Soon.

Brock casts a brief glance to a screen out of the girl’s view showing a mix of live feeds from local and global news stations, a few of them covering the draught and the lack of safe drinking water while the majority heralds the wedding of some celebrity. No breaking news. It’s not typical of the Avengers to work quietly, especially not if the glorified tin can is flying around blasting rock music. Well…at least one of those idiots has style. Haven’t they taken the bait?

“All alone?” There’s an air of something studied mixing with the playful tone. “I’d half begun to think I was –“

“Shut up.” Thankfully, [Y/N] does as told, body ripe with fear to the point where he almost can smell it. “Why’re ya here? Really?”

“Really?” Perfect confusion. Innocence. “’Cause we’re not over yet, Brock.”

Something beeps from the console of screens and the hydra agent is about to turn to see what has caused the alarm to go off when [Y/N] reaches for him. Such a simple gesture, still it sparks an old habit in the man and he takes the hand in his for a long second – one he would wish could last forever. But he has to let go, hand slightly sticky from her sweaty touch. Another alarm begins, and he can hear the sound of the agents in the free-rooms banging on the doors though an oceans rush in his head. The world sways, unfocused. What the fuck? Oh, yeah, there comes the sea sickness even if he hasn’t felt it since he was a kid.

“You know,” [Y/N] softly whispers from far away into his ear, “when I said we’re not over…” She has a stronger grip than expect on his arm and shoulder, somehow forcing him on his knees. “I should’ve said I’m not done with you, Rumlow.”

The world might be reduced to a stormy sea, but he can still feel the nauseating pain as the shoulder dislocates. I’ve had…worse. That much is true. It’s not even the pain, really, making him sick to the stomach, rather the knowledge of what [Y/N] wants to get even for.

“[Y/N],” he slurs, the tongue too thick in the mouth, “I-I-I…lllo’ ya…” That lands his face pressed onto the dirty floor at an uncomfortable angle. She’s…holding my ass…

“No, Rumlow, you don’t love.” There’s a sound of metal against metal. “Let me demonstrate what you do.”

 …   Romanoff   …

“Damn, sweetie…”

Even Nat is impressed, and slightly grossed out, at the creativity her girlfriend has shown. So much so, she almost feels sorry for Rumlow who’s passed out on the floor in a sticky pool of almost every bodily liquid of his own. Well if almost means not at all.

Sam had taken one look and then gone outside to hurl, and even Thor looks shocked. “My lady, your enemies will surely know not to stir your wrath from this day forth.”

“My track record with coping mechanisms isn’t great…so…” Tony can’t look at it either, but at least he hasn’t lost the bad humour. “Let me know if’t works, ‘kay?”

“Oh, it feels very…cathartic…” [Y/N] looks at the guy with a distanced calmed.

Too calm. Cathartic or not, this will undoubtedly have consequences both legally and emotionally for Rumlow’s former prisoner. None of it can be explained away as self defense. It can’t be by the time the person is face down, ass up, and the metal sheathed where the sun don’t shine.

“I’m gonna take her to the quinjet, you guys stabilize him and see if he can talk…ever…”

And so Natasha leaves the men behind, steering a dazed woman by the arm across the uneven terrain through a patch of dried out shrubs behind which the plane is waiting.

Once onboard, she observes the mechanic reactions as [Y/N] complies with every order without uttering a single word. Come back to me, baby. The former assassin can only hope that the words reach far enough, somehow breaking through the shell her girlfriend’s mind has build in record time to prevent any of the grotesque happenings from settling. Eventually the good advice of reason are spent, leaving nothing behind but an insufferable ache.

You were doing so well, why did I let you go? “I’m sorry, love,” Nat whispers hoarsely, fingers stroking the blank face, “I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have been here. It’s my fault, please come back. You can get through this too, alright?”

On and on, the pleas dripple out similar to a hushed prayer that knows no end. The tears falling aren’t [Y/N]’s this time because for once Natasha can’t be the strong one. Kneeling before [Y/N], she wraps her arms around the living statue’s waist and buries the face in the heat of the soft breasts where she can hear the heartbeat. Slow and steady as opposed to Nat’s own that beats so frantically, she couldn’t hold her hands still if she tried.

Some things change the very foundation of a person.

In the Red Room, the girls were taught not to show mercy, to follow orders unblinkingly even if it meant the death of an other. Though the first fatalities weren’t at the students’ own hands, they knew what the consequences were once they forced another child to give up or be flunked. The changed had already started. By the time a girl graduated, became an adult though never a woman, the transformation was completed. It was expected. A flinch. A faint taste of regret in the dark of night. Nothing more.

Outside the Red Room, for people growing up in normal lives, only a low percentage of people are prepared for the Graduation, and most of those never have to complete the change themselves. For the lucky ones, violence and unnatural death will not become a habit of theirs.

[Y/N] had been one of the lucky ones until the day Hydra captured her, placing her at the mercy of Rumlow. Her change had been forced upon her, nearly killing her in the process. Perhaps Natasha, the team, even the victim herself had been fools for thinking she would be alright and the metamorphosis never would be complete. My fault. Today had been Graduation, and the ex-Russian brought the student to the test.

“Shhh,” gentle and soothing against red hair, “It’s okay, Tash, I’m here…it’ll be okay.” Gentle fingers cart through the fiery strands, nails scraping against the scalp in a calm rhythm. “I know what I did…I’ll never do it again.”

They’re both crying as they lock gazes.

“Do you know that?” Be honest. “Have you seen it?”

“This is the first time you ask me what I’ve seen.” The smile is gentle and almost reaches the [Y/E/C] eyes. “I have to continue therapy, but yeah…never again.” Soft lips kiss the salty water away from the upturned face. “I’m all yours now.”

 …   Reader   …

Of course the clock isn’t ticking. After ages of therapy, you should be used to that…instead it makes the silence way heavier than strictly necessary. Or maybe it’s because this session is so important? Double session, actually. Pinching your brows, you manage to divert the attention from the missing tick-tock to the bit of dirt under a nail as you wait for the team consisting of a psychiatrist and a psychologist to ask the question they want to. It’s silly really. Anyone can rehearse an answer fitting with the “need”.

“So, how are you feeling, [Y/N]?” one of them final begins, glasses dangling from between to fingers and a pen in the other hand.

You take a moment, do a mini body scan. “Right now I’m nervous…” They both nod at your answer. “Generally speaking…pretty good. Still get the odd nightmare where it’s like I’m back.”

“Back?”

“M-hm.”

They want you to define the term, but it’s fun to see them try to be correct and direct at the same time. “To when Rumlow first held you against your will or…?”

“Or when I took revenge? Both.” You give them time to scribble ferociously before continuing, “I don’t think there’s some specific reason it’s one situation instead of the other…not always at least. And the technique to guide myself away from the nightmare is beginning to work a bit.”

The glasses are pulled down again, so the Psychologist can look at you directly. “Is there a difference in the intensity?”

“No. Both…events were horrible. For different reasons, sure, but horrible. What I did…” Both doctors hold their breaths as you ponder your words. “There’s an explanation for it…but no excuse. I know that.”

With all the nodding they’re doing, it seems only fair if they get a kink in the neck eventually. Sometimes the bobble-heads ask more questions, about the house arrest in the tower or your relationship with the Avengers. They never once get into specific about Natasha and you, although it’s there like some elephant in the room. Even professionals can have issues.

By the time the two hours are up, you’ve got them smiling genuinely. Perhaps, maybe, if you’re lucky…will they clear you?

…

“Who sends letters nowadays?” Tony scoffs, dumping a big, brown envelope on the newspaper you’re reading.

Justice Department! It’s damn near impossible to tear open the thick paper because your hands a shaking so much, and when you finally do, the words barely make any sense, so you don’t protest when the genius billionaire snags it out of your hands.

It feels like forever, longer than the months you’ve waited to hear what the psychiatrist’s and psychologist’s decision is, before Tony finally looks up. “Jarvis!”

“Yes, sir.”

You can’t read his face, allowing the nerves to run amok. “Call the team, Pepper, and Happy.”

“May I inquire as to the occasion?”

“Yeah.” Finally, his face splits into a huge smile. “We’re gonna celebrate.”

[woodsofblight]

Do you have any headcanons on either Ly or the People of Prhys you could share?

Oh boy do I ever!

I’m sure by now most people in the fandom know or has experienced it, but it can get exceedingly difficult to put together a reliable timeline, considering the conflicting events (god help you if you’re including Origins/Legends). Needless to say there’s a bunch of things in the Rayman universe I assume to be gross exaggerations, mainly for the purpose of not losing my mind. With that said, Ly and the People of Phrys.

First of all, I should note that a lot of the promo material, especially the artwork for Rayman 2, seem to suggest that the friendship between Rayman and Ly has been around far longer than just the events of 2/Revolution. Based on information from the old R2 website, it can also be reasonably assumed that the events of 2 weren’t the first time Rayman has come across the pirates (Razorbeard is another issue entirely if you wish to take the Animated Series into consideration). More on this later.

I believe Ly and Rayman are close to the same age, though exactly which of them is older is a frequent topic of debate, made all the more difficult by Rayman coming into existence as at the very least an older child (depending on how old you think he is in 1). 

Considering the People of Phrys are only every mentioned in an off-hand note, I personally think they were a fairly reserved society with not as much contact with the mainland of Polokus. Whether this is because they served a different god or were merely very prone to isolating themselves is anyone’s guess, though the note implying secrets would suggest the latter.

Taking their high status into account, the nymphs were probably one of the few people who could reliably set foot upon their lands (accompanied by the requisite amount of Teensies for transportation). As secretive as they may have been though, they probably did recognize the importance of gaining knowledge (or were merely convinced by the nymphs) and either through their recommendation, or Betilla’s decision, Ly is chosen as an envoy and, essentially, transfer student at a very young age. Young enough to still be receptive to the outside world and able to learn many things she could eventually bring home and help enrich their culture. 

Based on her promo material and general behavior she was likely an attentive and respectful child when learning, but wild and prone to exploring the forest for days on end, whenever she could.

Betilla has been shown to unlock Rayman’s abilities in 1, but Silver Lums are still something we’ve only ever seen specifically from Ly. This is more than likely an extremely rare talent, especially when you consider how instrumental Lums of all kind are to the fabric of the world. It is talent the nymphs would recognize as extremely important to cultivate. However, unlike with her teachers (especially Betilla, her primary mentor, Holly, who believes to this day that she has a beautiful singing voice, if only she could be more confident about it, and Anetta, who adores her despite Ly’s aversion to large bodies of water), she never quite got along with other fairies (apart from Tily). 

Whether this is because she’s so different, or if it’s envy because the nymphs favored her, is anyone’s guess. Still, no wonder she chose the depths of the Glade as her home, instead of the Council. Likewise no wonder that her other favored spots are a stele and a cave! 

Either way, she ended up finding kinship with other “odd” fellows of the Glade instead, such as Clark, Globox, and of course, Rayman. Another group she ends up befriending are the Teensies, whom she follows around with curiosity, as due to the isolated nature of her homeland, they were seldom found there. The Teensies find her curiosity adorable and they end up taking a liking to her. This grows into immense respect as she protects them during the Pirate invasion. So much so, that they have created several monuments in her honor, and out of pure affection, often in places fairies usually wouldn’t access on their own, so as not to fuel any existing animosity.

Going forwards in time, I believe she returned to Phrys at a certain time. The first skirmish of the Pirates is beaten, but either the main force, or a second attack comes rolling in and things quickly go out of hand. Ly breaks the isolation and calls upon her friends for assistance and while they are relatively successful, the sudden attack and damage to the land is too much for its inhabitants to bear. The People of Phrys panic, and turn to desperate measures, unearthing the secrets they held, the very ones Ly tried to help them protect (with spotty knowledge on what they even were). The results were… exceedingly bad.

It’s hard to place when or how this art piece occurs (if it does at all, since there’s some things that just didn’t end up in the main game), but after initially believing it just show the Pirate’s devastation, I now think it shows something different. I believe this piece takes place immediately in the aftermath. The People of Phrys are gone. Ly is devastated. Clark is waving goodbye to a land he once helped shape and Polokus is likewise distraught, whether they were his children or not (I don’t think Rayman realized who he was at this point in time, and he may only be there as a temporary manifestation, hence his introduction later in 2).

In any case, the people Ly wanted to protect are now gone. This is incredibly hard for her to swallow and while she does try to hide it, the (perceived) failure weighs heavily on her, for years on end. It drives her deeper into her studies, resulting in even further isolation from the Council and her other fairy kin, from which her friends work tirelessly to pull her out of. While she has no concrete proof, she desperately wants to believe that whatever happened to her people is just some kind of massive displacement, rather than eradication. After all, much of this world is centered on dreams, who can say they might not be out there somewhere? 

I believe this ends up being something that drives her to obsessively learn and sometimes even vanish for certain amounts of time, which is why she seldom appears following Rayman 2/Revolution. Whether this is good for her in the long run is anyone’s guess. Such frustration, combined with the magic she possesses, could prove volatile in some cases.

As for other things, I also think she would get along relatively well with Barbara, though the latter would likely consider Ly to be far too stuck-up and serious for her temperament. It would drive her tease Ly on occasion, to which she sometimes would respond in kind, though she would defer to her in most cases that cannot be solved by just planting the business end of an axe in them. 

I believe Ly might actually be a bit jealous even, considering how far Barbara has been able to go adventuring with Rayman and co.; something she would like to do as well, but unfortunately she just cannot cope with the extreme changes in temperature, such as in Gourmand Land or the Blue Mountains. Nevertheless, she would never outwardly show that.

~ ~ ~

I think that about covers it! I’m very fond of Ly as a character and really hope she’ll make another appearance in a future Rayman game. I wouldn’t necessarily count on finding out more about the People of Phrys, but Michel Ancel and his team are unpredictable enough that anything could happen. 

I may have forgotten about a couple of minor, flavor things, but those will probably end up appearing in some shape or form in my writing.

Thank you for tuning in to my essay on this lovable cat-fairy! All images are courtesy of the RaymanPC Wiki.

[cynnied-writes]

Never Truly Forgotten

○ characters: canada | ottawa

○ genre/warnings: slight angst | mostly fluff

○ tags: father-daughter relationship | pillow forts | cuddling | comforting | timbits | emotionally exhausting work | good family vibes | all things canadian

○ word count: 1.9k

→ summary: no matter how many times he was; talked over, looked through or mistaken for his brother, there was at least one person in the entire world who would always remember him.

○  note: to my homeland 🍁🍁🍁

The World Conference could have gone worse.

That’s at least what Canada was trying to convince himself of.

Look on the bright side, he thought! England kinda, sort-of noticed him this time. He should be ecstatic. A complete win for him, right? There was… one caveat, though.

The hard-nosed Brit noticed him! But, there’s a high probability that he mistook Matthew for some plucky intern. Of whom he asked to go on a coffee/tea run to the nearest cafe.

Which he did by the way.

But, cup half full, right?

Well, his coffee cup wasn’t after some other Country drank most of it. Albeit, not before declaring it to be ungodly sweet and throwing it out. Apparently, no one else can handle several shots of maple syrup in their morning coffee.

Coward.

Matthew’s head thudded against his steering wheel. He and Kuma sat in his old, pickup truck. Inhaling the leathery scent as he rested. Trying to get a head start on mentally preparing himself for tomorrow because—oh, god—he has to go back. And there was no amount of Letterkenny reruns that could soothe him after that hellscape.

What was on his to-do list for the next day, you ask?

Somehow maneuver through his current problems with China. Maybe try and get him to ease up on Hong Kong.

Sit in a meeting where America and Mexico argue non-stop for an hour.

Figure out whether England is actually leaving or not and how horrible it’s gonna be. Which it absolutely is gonna be some level of horrible.

Attend several bilateral meetings. Where the other country is almost always late. Because “I just couldn’t for the life of me remember who I was going to be meeting. Sorry about that.” It’s okay. It’s most definitely not okay.

Oh, and try and kickstart a “Committee to Save the World Order”. Where their only goal is to keep the world from going to shit. Because, apparently, everyone expects him to be the moral epicentre of their world. Even though no one remembers him long enough to not steal and throw out his goddamn coffee.

But, at least he was home now. Where he could curl up in his bed and forget about his troubles. Where stacks of pancakes are a healthy coping mechanism. Where he was safe from his peers’ collective short-term memories of his presence.

“Who are you?” A familiar voice squeaked out from the backseat.

Nevermind. Perhaps, home wasn’t so great after all.

His neighbourhood heard a soft beeping as he hit his head against his horn. Again and again. 

He should stick up for himself, right? If not with his own companion then who would he ever? Tension increased in his shoulders as his digits gripped his wheel. Mustering up any and all fury he had. Yep, he was gonna give Kuma a what for!

But, then, in a single moment, any inkling of agitation was gone in a huff. His shoulders sagged, fingers flexed, and a deep sigh escaped him.

God, he was pathetic.

He turned to see his polar bear buddy staring back at him. A dejected chuckle fell from his lips as he answered, “Who cares?”

The brisk night seeped through his suit as he stood under his porch light. Digging through his pockets for his keys before both he and Mr. Kumajiro fell asleep on the spot.

Matthew didn’t even realize something was off at first. As soon as his front door clicked open, he turned his brain off and went on autopilot. He toed off his shoes, slipped off his suit jacket and set down his briefcase before heading to the kitchen. His feet dragging as he puttered around. Making a very, very late dinner for the two of them. Seal for Kuma and shreddies for himself.

He was just about head upstairs and crash into his bed when he noticed the lights on in his living room. A soft golden glow emanating from the frosted glass on the doors. Did Maddie leave the lights on? He thought he got her out of that habit.

Guess not.

With a small sigh, he shuffled over to the room. Munching on his “dinner” cereal as he entered.

Hmm…

This isn’t how his living room usually looks.

Blankets were strung up from the ceiling. All varying colours and patterns. Most of which he remembers buying. Starred fairy lights dotted the edges of the fabric. Giving the off the soft glow from before. Along with the crackling fire not too far away. In front of which was Maddie’s laptop sitting on the coffee table. Playing what seems to be We are Stars. Canadian artists. Good choice.

“What do you think all this is, Kumalilo?” He asked even though he knew the most basic answer. There was a pillow fort in his living room. The concept hadn’t crossed his mind in decades. Hell, maybe even centuries. Forgoing his childish ways when his brother sought out independence.

But, why was there one here now?

Kuma pushed past him and made his way over to the fort’s opening. Sniffing around and pawing at the blankets until he found what he was looking for.

“I don’t know. But, I think it has something to do with her,” Kuma said before crawling into the fort. Canada followed his bear the opening.

Pulling back the sheets revealed an amazing, other world. Pillows and more blankets were strewn across the floor. Making it look like the comfiest place to rest ever. A box of forty timbits called his name. Along with the bowl of maple popcorn and bottles of Péché Mortel. Was this heaven?

And then there was the ‘her’ Kuma was talking about.

She laid in the back of the structure. Her golden locks pulled up into a messy bun. Light freckles dusted her cheeks and a pair of thick-rimmed glasses sat askew on her face. One of his favourite sweaters almost engulfed her. Not that she seemed to care. No, the engulfing was the point. Yes, Madeleine had always liked to exist in oversized clothing.

Like father, like daughter.

The chances of this being heaven just went up.

“Who are you?” Kuma asked as he poked at her cheek. His stomach sank. And the chances shot into the depth of the Marianas Trench. While his bear forgot his name on the regular, his precious girl’s name had always stuck. This wasn’t going to be a regular thing, was it?

Oh, no.

No.

NO!

He could handle people forgetting him. At this point, it was a given in any situation. No one was going to remember him. Disappointed but, not surprised. But, for someone to forget Maddie? His petit geai bleu?

The thought made him sick.

He had made sure no one ever would. Kept far from any and all Nations for the first part of her life. If they couldn’t remember him she was a non-starter. And when that got inconvenient, he sewed some version of her name into everything she wore.

Very cute, right?

Yeah, it was until she grew up and became a very, embarrassed teenager. Much less cool. By the time WW2 came and she realized she wanted to help, he gave her a cooler nickname. Blue Jay. She had loved flying planes as much as he did, it just fit.

And, for his effort, it seemed to have worked.

Until now. 

Betrayed by the bear.

Madeleine’s amethyst eyes fluttered open as Kuma booped his nose with hers. A big, sleepy smile graced her face.

“I’m Ottawa, Mr. Kumakiko,” She said, fingers running his soft fur. Kuma mumbled a soft ‘oh, right’ before snuggling into her generous pets. Her gaze then fell upon him. An even bigger smile on now, “Your back, eh? Long time no see, Papa. Sorry about not greeting you at the door. Sleep took me hostage.”

At least… she didn’t seem too affected too badly by the screw-up. He’s definitely going to have a stern conversation with his companion.

“No problem, Sugar Plum. May I come in?” He asked, forgoing his “dinner” on the table before crouching down to see them better.

Her eyes lit up and she threw her arms open. Answering, “Of course, Papa! It’s for you, after all.”

“This is quite the feat, eh,” He said as he clamoured into the fort. Crawling through the sea of blankets before settling in beside her, “Why?”

“I put two and two together,” She said, gaze focused on her fingers raking through Kuma’s fur. “Whenever you come back from World Conferences you’re always so sad. I can see how going there drains you. No one remembering you and all. So, after a long day of enduring that I wanted you to know that there will always be someone in your corner.” 

She turned to him, eyes filled with love and determination, “Me.”

“Oh,” His throat tightened as tears began to well. He was the luckiest guy in the world, wasn’t he? In a flash, he swept Ottawa into his arms, “Thank you so much, this means everything to me. I love it. All of it. Merci, merci, Madeleine.”

She gladly wrapped her arms around him as well. The familiar scent of maple and pine filling her nose.

“Oh, and something else, Papa,” What else could she possibly have done? “I also may have asked Moscow to hack into their phones. And set a bunch of reminders of their meetings with you. So, that they won’t be late.” She quickly murmured.

Canada paused his praises to cock his brow. Concerned, he asked, “Quoi?”

“Well…”

“You approved of Russia’s daughter hacking into several nation’s phones?” He said slowly. Trying to process all the implications. Even though she’s his intelligent and thoughtful girl, she’s still a teenager. “You didn’t see huge security risk there?”

“Don’t worry, I then asked Tallinn to make sure she’d never be able to do it again.” She assured, squeezing into the hug a bit more.

A sigh fell from him as he rested his cheek on the top of her head, “She better not. Or else we’re all so screwed.”

“I promise,” She said, pulling back and sticking her pinky out. He caught it with his and squeezed tight.

“It’s a promise then.”

“Now,” A yawn escaped her, “Sleep?”

“Don’t even have to ask.” He said, as his sights locked onto the box. Which was being rummaged through by a guilty looking polar bear, “Kuma, don’t eat them all!”

Kumajiro apologized, crumbs of sugar and sprinkles all over his muzzle. He brought the box over, nudging it towards them. Their laughs jingled out as the trio settled in to rest. Bundled up in blankets and cushioned by the many pillows. All curled up with each other in their own tiny cuddle pile. Listening to the all Canadian playlist she put on. Popping timbits in their mouths every so often.

Soon, sleep called for them. Eyes were getting heavy and yawns were becoming more frequent.

Sleepily, Ottawa whispered into his chest, “Je t’aime, Papa.”

“Je t’aime, Maddie,” He whispered back. Pressing a kiss onto her forehead, “Tellement, mon petit geai bleu.”

Soft snores drifted into his ears soon after. Sleep was about to whisk him away too, a thought popped into his mind. After all this, he realized,

Oh, right.

She’s the one who cares.

I hope you enjoyed this! Any kind of comment would be appreciated!

Later Days!

[polandspringz]

“Apply pressure, i’ll be back soon.” I'm just letting you pick ocs at this point

Okay so this story isn’t going to make much sense cause I rushed it and it takes place in the middle of the narrative I’ve been drafting for my real OCs, like the ones I keep mostly under wraps because I have been planning and working on a full series of work for them. Also, it’s self indulgent so it’s really not like my best work, just me trying to cram all my ideas into one scene. 

My hands brushed against the fabric of my skirt, dusting off dirt as I got to my feet. His gray eyes were staring up at me wide, shimmering with worry so uncharacteristic of him. I felt my skin grow tight when my lips parted and my stiff voice rasped out-

“Apply pressure, I’ll be back soon.”

I trudged away with my fists clenched at my sides, leaving him alone beside the log and the campfire. The shelter we had found was a small clearing amongst the barren, scraggly trees of autumn, mowed down by travelers from the past who had dragged logs over to form the circle to sleep in. They were most likely people I had never encountered before, people who had lived long before us, groups of them over time who had paved it for the next nomadic group to rest. I reached the end of the clearing where a tall, dried out piece of brush stood in my way. The fire crackled behind me, the wind brushed my cheek.

Still, I liked to imagine that maybe this place was made only by us, for us by our numerous runs at this world.

I stepped over the sticks and found my way back through the forest, searching for the tracks that led to where the cultists had run off to. I was foolish thinking that I could do right in this timeline, if anything, my thoughts were more cluttered than ever, the voices of the other two fading in and out whenever some event lined up with me. 

Like now, I could feel a searing headache come on and I had to take a knee as I leaned against a tree for support. There was a twinkling behind my eyelids, something pale, silver, with a hint of blue that I could hear chiming as her voice came through.

“Dreil, it’s happened, hasn’t it?” She was crying.

“Torinoko,” I coughed weakly, “Yeah, I… I guess that’s the one thing I can’t fix… haha…”

“We could always try another route… We could try it again and maybe-”

“No,” another voice cut in, and the pain tripled in my brain. I bit back a scream and instead sunk deeper against the earth, leaning forward as I clutched at my scalp with both hands, “That is not the promise you made to me. You said this would be the final time.”

“How nice of you to join us, Rell,” I hissed out. Now there was white flashing behind my eyelids, but opening my eyes was too much effort, even if the darkness of the night sky and shadowy woods would have been much more calming. 

“You both promised me this would be the final run. That my friends and I wouldn’t suffer anymore after this. You would help us be free.”

“Yes, and that’s the plan, Rell, but-”

“You realize that they remember times we don’t, don’t you? We can only remember a handful, but they’ve been getting tortured and ripped apart every round, they’ve had to watch their friends die and their own vessels stabbed and shot and clawed open without peace. We have to do this for them, we have to stop it now or else-”

“Rell,” Torinoko’s voice had an edge to it, although it was still warbly with her crying, “Oniy and Alzol aren’t the only ones who have suffered.”

She hesitated, and I could almost see her behind her house, holding that basket outside staring up at the blue dome that domed over the metal walls of her homeland. 

“Of course I know that, but they’ve been the ones who have to endure the most every route and each time I see it and-”

“Then don’t go!” I shouted, slamming a fist against the trunk of the tree, “You don’t have to go and watch! You can just stay in your little house, stay oblivious and excommunicated from everyone with your fake little family and let Torinoko and I handle it.”

“You know very well that it won’t work like that.”

“Who are you to say anything?” I managed to crawl along the forest floor, continuing on my path, “I’m the one who gets Alzol and Oniy sent to the prison in the capital, it was always my own stupid panic that caused it. I just won’t do it this time. You can stay in your little house and they’ll stay away from jail. Mierre won’t get her deranged hands on them anytime during this route.”

She scoffed, voice shaking, “You really think that’s all it’s going to take?”

“I’m almost at the capital city, I’m going to do my best to stop Yule and hopefully protect both Sawako and Aaya. But, if we can stop this all before we ever have to go to the capital, that’s better for me. I’m sick of seeing Cel flinch when we get near, of seeing Shi die under rubble I sent crumbling.” Torinoko reported.

“Then it’s settled,” I said, “Now get out of my head, I have work to do.”

“You’re delusional,” Rell cried, “You’re both so foolish!”

“Shut up already. What makes you think it’s not going to work?”

“Because Mierre has already been visiting my house! She’s going to take me north whether I want to or not! Because she already targeted your town! She already had her soldiers wipe out everyone! Torinoko and Shi’s ‘deaths’ have already happened! Nothing’s changed from before!”

“Things have changed, I know how to control my powers so-”

“You’re lying. If you already knew how to control them, then why did you let Xir and Vei die?”

Red exploded around me as I flared up, exploding as a wave of power surged out from me and two trees came careening down. I had punched the earth and a black vortex opened up, the moonlight reflecting on it and making it sparkle inside.

“Shut up, you don’t know anything about me.”

“Oh? And here I thought we all shared a soul? You yourself said that it was the ‘one thing you couldn’t fix’, but you forgot about everything else-”

“I fixed Torinoko and Shi’s disappearance. I didn’t let it weigh me down and I helped Seio cope with Mierre’s disappearance. We started our journey a month earlier-”

“Oh, a month? What a big change!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?!”

“There shouldn’t have even been another journey, Dreil! If you really wanted to stop everything, really wanted to end it all, you shouldn’t have even let them leave, shouldn’t have let Mierre roll her plan out! You shouldn’t have done anything!”

“What are you saying?”

“Don’t you realize it?! As soon as you woke up, you had a choice. You killed those men in the shelter again, maybe that was preventable, but you didn’t have to go with Seio, you didn’t have to go to the house, you didn’t have to become another cog in Mierre’s plans.”

“If I hadn’t gone with them, she still would have gone after you! I have to be in the capital to stop her from using you-”

“No, you’re using me. Don’t you realize it, Dreil? All of this could have been stopped if you just talked to her, stopped her, grabbed her before she ran out of the house and started her charade and parade of fire. If you had just stopped her before everything was set into motion, then nothing would have happened! But, no you had to go and-”

She stopped suddenly, and I felt myself freeze up when her voice came back with a sinister sounding, “Oh.”

“Rell? What’s wrong?” Torinoko tried, but was ignored.

“I get it. I see now. You want this to happen.” 

“What? Of course not!”

“Yes, yes you do. You don’t want to help anyone, you only want to help yourself. I see it now. Even back at the house, you were saying how Seio wasn’t really giving you the time of day, things were falling into place even back then, and you knew that! You knew things weren’t changing even though you were smarter now, showed your prowess earlier, you realized everyone was still fulfilling the same events, but you didn’t do anything to stop it because you wanted this!”

“You think I want to see my friends, all of you die?!” I balled my hands up in the wet dirt.

“No, but you want to reach Smokeflake, don’t you?”

My heart stopped. I felt Torinoko’s connection spike for a moment before it came crashing down. Rell continued, her voice carrying a sinister smile with it.

“If you reach Smokeflake, if you go to Smokeflake, you get all the time in the world with him. With your family. Sometimes it’s six months… sometimes it’s two years… Sure, you have a fight for moment, but after that, you two are practically like a married couple! You’re ‘learning how to use your powers’ right? So you have to stay there, and if you stay there, Seio will communicate with Mierre and she’ll hold off on enacting her plan fully until you have reached your potential because she wants to make sure she gets all of the power embedded in me… You were planning on staying there and pretending your power wasn’t ever controllable forever weren’t you?”

“Not forever!” I slapped my hands over my mouth, but it was too late, “That’s a lie… Do you really think I would do such a thing and let you suffer for that long?!” 

“Yes.”

It was Torinoko’s voice this time.

“Dreil, I… you went and did it to Seio’s arm? Didn’t you?”

“Dreil?”

I stiffened, turning around. Seio was standing behind me, his hair bloody and stained brown in the moonlight. He was holding some cloth over his left arm, now engorged flesh rippling with spasms and something powerful pulsating underneath it. 

“Are you alright? I heard shouting and… did you knock down those trees? Did someone attack you?”

He started towards me, but I held up my hand, stopping him. I steadied my breathing, letting my power slowly drain away. Washing over me, my skin darkened back to its normal color, my hair dyed itself back to that light brown instead of the ghostly white. My eyes took longer to adjust, but eventually the red fell away too and I was left with the cold feeling of the night around me. I sighed and looked up at him properly, and managed a smile even though I saw the fear still lingering. I glanced at his arm, and moved towards him, trying to be slow enough and ignore the way he stepped back.

“I just got a little spooked in the dark, sorry.”

“Are you feeling better now?” He said as I reached out to touch the flesh I had ripped apart. Even though I had tried to stop it, like every time in my memory, when Xir and Vei fell and then Seio began to stumble, I erupted, and even though I ripped through the flesh of our enemies in the same amount of time in the same way, even though I felt Seio approaching me, I still let my anger ripple through him and up his fingers, his hand, and into his arm. I hadn’t thought of it at the time, but maybe Rell was right. Maybe subconsciously, I had selfishly done it all so I could relive our time in Smokeflake again.

I had sacrificed my two friends I had longed to save just so I could live in dreamworld a bit longer.

“Dreil, are you okay? You’re crying!”

“Huh? Oh, am I? Sorry about that, I… I just…” I quickly wiped my eyes with the back of my sleeve, “I know that you must be feeling much worse than I but I promise you if you give me a bit I’ll be able to reverse whatever I did to your arm and-”

Seio shook his head, and reached forward with his good hand, pulling me close to him in a hug, tucking my head under his chin. I was careful not to lean too close to his injury.

“I don’t want you to feel guilty about this, we’ll go to Smokeflake and meet the person my father knew who can help. You don’t need to feel obligated to fix this, Dreil.”

“But, I-”

“It’s not your job to fix this. You don’t have to fix anything. Just rest.”

My hands twitched behind his back for a moment, before I leaned in the rest of the way, and fisted them in the fabric of his torn cape and sobbed.

Later that evening, I tapped into our connection once more, reaching out when I was sure Seio was asleep and we were both lying down inside our shared tent. I only felt Torinoko register from the gray specks floating around.

“Where’s Rell?” I whispered.

“I don’t know, I can’t feel her either. I think she might have…”

“This is all my fault, I’m sorry. I was selfish, and everything she said was right and-”

“Dreil, I may be upset with you, but… I can’t blame you, because I’ve also made some choices this time that have set us up on the same path. I’m starting to wonder if these things are things we can stop or if they really are inevitable. Maybe our goal was too lofty when we said we would save everyone.”

“Heh… Maybe…”

“But still, even if Rell has decided to leave us, I won’t leave your side. You’ve done too much for Shi and I, and I still remember how we… well, you felt when you thought we had died for the first time. I know you love me, and I love you too. I won’t fault you for taking extra time in Smokeflake. It seems like no matter, events are locked into place.”

I tossed my arm over my eyes and rolled onto my back.

“Sorry, I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Dreil. I’m sorry.”

I woke up in the morning to Seio shaking me and trying to heave me out of the tent with one arm. Blearily, I thought we were being attacked, and snapped into my awakened state, but froze when I heard other voices surrounding me, mingling outside.

Seio’s morning greeting blurred into the background as did his smiling figure as I clawed past him and the tent door out into the daylight, rolling out into the embrace of my two scratched up, bloodied, but alive friends.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…” I blubbered helplessly as they clutched at me.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“You saved us, don’t you realize it? You healed us.”

“It just took a little bit for the power to settle in and do its work.”

“I’m dreaming. This has to be a bad dream, a cruel joke. I don’t… I don’t deserve this when I-”

“You’re awake, and we’re all alive, I promise,” Xir laughed, leaning in next to my ear as his voice changed slightly, “It seems you will have us joining you in Smokeflake too this time. I hope you don’t mind.”

“No,” I sobbed as I wrapped my arms around his neck, “No, that’s a welcome change, believe me.”

Seio still didn’t let me heal his arm, but it was pushed to the back of my mind for now. I was too elated and shaky from the revelation that I hadn’t failed, that had saved two of my friends, that I had changed something. Rell and Torinoko were wrong, things were changing, this was the route we were destined to be on, and it was possible.

We we’re going to save everybody, even if it wasn’t immediate.

[arachcobra]

Naruto Episode 11 & 12 Review

Got PTSD? Just walk it off, you baby.

Review of Naruto Episode 11 and 12: The Land Where a Hero Once Lived and Battle on the Bridge! Zabuza Returns!

ArachCobra

So in this one, we start out with having Sakura guard Tazuna on the bridge, all alone. I'm just like, what? Apparently, it's because Kakashi is still not feeling well and Naruto and Sasuske are still struggling with the tree climbing things. So they do try to explain it. But the problem here is that there is no fucking way Kakashi can know when Zabuza will be back. Yeah, he can make an estimate based on the guy's injuries, but he doesn't know if Zabuza has some super healing ninja in his employ. For all he knows, Zabuza is heading for the bridge at a speed of mach fuck you right that very instant.

He isn't and Sakura is not gruesomely cut into confetti, but that's just because Zabuza has no easy way to recover. But this is still very risky.

Also, Tazuna calls Sakura lazy for yawning, which I feel is entirely uncalled for. Some guy named Giichi feels working on the bridge is getting too risky, so he quits, with Tazuna yelling at him.

Later, Sakura and Tazuna goes shopping and we get to see just how badly Gato has ruined the Land of Waves. It's an admittedly effective scene.

This is then ruined by the dinner scene where Sasuke and Naruto are shoveling down food so fast they have to puke. Hey, assholes, people are starving right now. Least you could do is respect the food you're given by not choking on it, just because you have to prove you're better than each other. Seriously, this is not team work. Time and time again we see this competition between Naruto and Sasuke makes them take quite frankly idiotic decisions that are detrimental for the team as a whole. Kakashi should get his act together and tell the two of them to get their shit together.

And then Sakura stares at a slightly damaged photo on the wall and Odysseus, the dialogue. To paraphrase Sakura: “There's a picture here. But it's torn. How did it get torn? It seems very important. The one who tore it must have had some sort of reason. I wonder why.” Honestly, most likely explanation is that Kakashi noticed the plot point hanging on the wall and asked Sakura to point it out until someone would say something and move the story along.

So then we get the tale of Kaiza. About how he saved Inari from drowning thanks to a trio of child bullies straight out of a Stephen King story. About how he saved the village when the floodgate broke. It's an interesting story, but made kinda silly by being punctuated by so much overly dramatic music and flowery language about how Kaiza: “Taught people the meaning of the word courage.”

And then Gato has Kaiza tortured by a group of goons before publicly executing him.

How... How can he do that? Is there no government in the Land of Waves? How did he get so powerful that he can execute people? In front of a large crowd of people even. In front of the guy's family. Did he buy out the government? How does that work? I mean, have him killed, yeah, that I can imagine, but publicly executing him for disturbing the order of the land? Kinda ridiculous.

And that's why Inari doesn't believe in heroes. Naruto goes out to train because he wants to show Inari that heroes do exists.

Neat.

For the next episode, let me just start by complaining about the title. It's called Zabuza Returns and Battle on the Bridge, but that's a fabrication at best. Zabuza and Haku show up at the very end of the episode and there is no battle on the titular bridge. Its just misleading.

Anyway, Haku crossdresses and meets Naruto in the forest and they exchange some awkward dialogue about having someone important. And that only by having someone important will you be strong. I guess that really depends on one's definition of strength, so I'm not gonna harp on that too much.

Anyway, tree climbing continues and Sasuke and Naruto returns, sweating, panting and covered in dirt. If you told me that's because they decided to celebrate with a victory quickie in the bushes, I'd believe you. These two really do come off as if they have some closeted feelings for each other.

Anyway, Inari says its all futile and Naruto calls him a coward and a crybaby.

Yeah, doesn't matter that the kid is traumatized by the death of his father and the decline of his country, while constantly having to worry that any day now, his grandfather will be slaughtered. Doesn't matter that this constant oppressive atmosphere of fear and futility has made him a nervous wreck with PTSD. Just get over it, kid. Anything else is cowardice.

In case it isn't obvious, I find this scene kinda sickening and insensitive.

Now, Kakashi says that Naruto didn't say anything he hadn't already told himself and that Naruto has suffered too. Well, great. Two problems. One, Naruto has not gone through the exact same scenario as Inari and even if he had, he'd probably have reacted differently, because people are different. He has no right to demand that Inari ”gets over it.” Second issue, from a narrative point, how bad did Naruto have it? We have some general ideas that he was excluded and people looked down on him, but it hasn't really been elaborated upon. We're just told Naruto has it bad and that's it. So here, the story trips over itself trying to justify Naruto yelling at a traumatized kid who's not even had a chance to properly grieve and get over the soul-shattering losses he's experienced.

To put it mildly, it doesn't really work. No matter how much the show insists that Naruto understands Inari's pain.

Anyway, next day, Zabuza shows up, Naruto is late and Gato's henchmen are getting ready to kidnap Tsunami and Inari. Oh, who's Tsunami? Inari's mother. She's been around for three episodes, but does very little. I think we only learned her name this very last episode in fact.

Shame. You'd think somebody with the name Tsunami would be a character you should keep an eye on.

Anyway, first episode works just fine. Second one dragged down by Naruto's treatment of Inari. Seriously, that's not okay.

Givenea

Inari, grandson of Tazuna takes over the role as awesomest character, for telling Naruto how dumb he is.

We then learn that Inari has lost all hope because a business tycoon turned his homeland into a dictatorship, everyone is starving and poor and his stepfather (who was the most amazing dad ever) was executed by said tycoon for trying to make things better.

Then Naruto calls him whiny.

Yup, Inari, an eight-year-old, who has lost his freedom and security and is struggling to cope with the loss of the only father he ever knew, is whiny. And Naruto is the right character to set him straight, because… a few people sneered at him…?

That’s all we’ve seen… Let me elaborate.

Back in episode 1, the big bad, Mizuki informs Naruto (and the audience) that Naruto is shunned and hated by the villagers because he is the container of the nine tailed fox. But this doesn’t stand up to scrutiny.

Within the first episode we see Naruto be chased down by ninjas, sneered at by his classmates and some random women and conned by Mizuki into stealing secret information.

This is not bad; it sets up that there is bad blood in between at least some villagers and Naruto. Next step would be to reinforce this idea over the next few episodes while establishing a norm for Naruto’s day to day life in Konoha. Naruto does runs into trouble with villagers a bunch of times within the first two episodes but only once or twice is their scorn unprovoked on his part. Going over them in order:

Episode 1:

Chased by ninja: He committed vandalism and skipped school. - Was punished by having to clean up his mess.

Sneered at by classmates - Because he mouthed off, they all had to redo a test.

Sneered by random women – Apparently unprovoked. Could be viewed to refer to the fox

Conned by Mizuki – Because he had the fox, Mizuki figured he could get away with it, taking advantage of him while he was vulnerable.

Episode2

Scolded by the Hokage – Naruto screwed up his ID and mouthed off.

Beaten by random woman – She was angry over Konohamaru’s botched transformation, unprovoked, but also nothing to do with the fox.

Thrown out of bookstore – Clerk did not allow reading before buying, had every right to toss them out.

Beaten by women in the bath - After attempting to sneak in and peep on them. They also immediately recognize, not only that Naruto and Konohamaru are transformed, but one also cries out: “Naruto, you again?”. Giving the distinct impression that this is a common occurrence.

Fight with Ebisu – while Ebisu does refer to Naruto as a fox, he seems far more miffed at Naruto taking Konohamaru all over town and distracting him from his training.

Ok, two things

Most people do not seem to care about the fox, whatsoever. They are instead reacting to Naruto’s actions, which are annoying at best and criminal at worst.

Nobody really seems to hate Naruto enough to step in and stop him from hanging out with the Hokage’s grandson. If Naruto was really shunned to the point we are supposed to believe, wouldn’t they try to save Konohamaru from the monster they believe the blond brat to be?

So while some people have treated Naruto pretty harshly, the whole thing fails in setting him up as an outcast through no doing of his own. It also fails at putting him through anything even remotely as bad as what Inari has suffered. So, when Kakashi later try to smooth things over, and encourage Inari, by explaining Naruto’s hardships and saying he got tired of whining and decided to do something about it, it falls flat.

Not only that, but when did Naruto ever stop whining? He pouts like a child whenever he doesn’t get his way.

Moving along.

After learning the tree-lesson instantly, last episode, Sakura is put on guard duty… well, it needs to be done, but couldn’t Kakashi have given her some other training since she’s ahead of the curve here? Not to mention, what is she gonna do if Zabuza or one of his people shows up? She is one lone genin, who has barely started her training as such. He, even wounded, is a highly trained jonin and we know that he has at least Haku to help him out.

Could be that this is just Kakashi’s way of paying lip service to doing this job.

So, Tazuna calls her lazy… I haven’t the foggiest why. After having lied to her superiors and then guilted her team into staying on a mission they are in no way qualified for, he should understand that just showing up is going above and beyond what anyone could expect from them.

So I guess these episodes are just here to make everyone look bad.

Oh yeah, and then Zabuza and Haku shows up.

Fluttersniper13

Sasuke and Naruto are having a dick measuring competition, Sakura is useless, family issues all over the place, Gato is god and everything is miserable. So, the usual shit.

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13125294/8/Naruto-Rewrite-1-Road-to-Ninja

[mairzymarzipan]

Ealdwine Morris Eastcott (Winnie)

Where is your character’s homeland?

He had several homes but mostly he lived in Southern Maine.  Like, the really upscale towns like Yarmouth and Wells and shit.

How did it influence your character?

I mean, he grew up wealthy.  So, this is a guy who never ever had to worry about money.  

What kind of distinguishing features do they have?

Is bug.

The body is a very large millipede.  Like the size of a husky dude around, but longer.  His plates are thick and resistant to damage and he’s rather slow.  His head is more act-like, and he has ‘backward’ jointed mantis forelegs with mole-cricket paws, except covered in sensitive hairs that can smell.  

He can smell so well he can navigate himself in the dark or in loud places. His singular ear is on his chest, so his hearing isn’t the best.  He sees in all directions at once, in all colors, but it’s a bit blurry compared to human vision.  He has two vestigial wings and long, flexible antennae with hair-thin portions. When he rubs his antennae against his wings like a violin bow, he can produce sounds that sound like words...except for with an abundance of zzzz and vvvvv sounds.

Do they have a birthmark? Where is it? What shape is it? Do they have scars? Where and how did they get them?

Depends on the AU.  In most, he’s p recently transformed so he looks p pristine.  I think after a few years in the super hero au, he’d look b banged up especially on the trunk.

What is the characters home like?

Winnie is sort of like Batman except for I guess he took the whole ‘animal superhero’ advice thing too far.

He sleeps in his own lab, which is located in the top few floors of his medical research company. 

When your character thinks of their childhood kitchen, what smell do they associate with it? Sauerkraut? Oatmeal cookies? Paint? Why is that smell so resonant for them?

Fresh bread

Italians and tuna sandwiches.

Especially tuna sandwiches.  It’s the first food his nanny taught him how to make.

If they have a favorite scent, what is it?

Used to be cinnamon but he’s much more sensitive to spices these days.

Now he’s partial to the scent of rotting lettuce.  Not that he lets lettuce ‘mature’ for long before he has to eat it!

Where does your character go when they’re angry?

Into a blanket cave, all curled up into a spiral.

This is also true about him being sad and scared.  When he needs to cope, it’s time for The Spiral.

Where do they put their favorite possessions while they’re sleeping?

Winnie keeps that stuff in a filing cabinet not far from his blanket caves.  Always just within reach when he needs them.

 Where does your character sleep and what does it look like?

He likes to be under things when he sleeps so he’s crafted a bunch of caves and blanket forts.  And he sleeps in a spiral, as it so happens.  See the above image.  

What is their normal daily routine?

Wake up, eat some literal garbage, phone in to some business meetings(as a human hologram, of course), do some research into the latest life saving drug, avoid lawsuits from his father and counter sue, do some superheroing, deny that “Bug Bug” the eccentric, hermit billionaire Ealdwine Eastcott are the same person.

Are they introvert or extroverted? Why?

Extroverted af.  He’d rather study for a test than go to a party.  And he really fucking hates his business meetings, even though he has to phone in every day for the sake of his employees and such.  In a way, he’s super glad he accidently turned himself into a bug. Being an eccentric hermit is a great excuse not to have to be face to face with rich assholes.

What are their mannerisms and demeanor like?

Like a bug.  Always kind of, chittering or vibrating or eating, always on the go unless it’s Spiral Time.  Slow, but active. Winnie talks in unnecessarily fancy words, and says "gracious" a lot. Which is funny, bc he can't pronounce his s sounds.

What is something they do differently from most people?

Be a bug?

I mean, Winnie is p unique in that he's a giant bug in this world. Not that there aren't other super powered people who fight crime, but most giant bugs are basically like grown from smaller bugs, Food of the Gods style, and then used as minions.  A bug who not only is very smart but also a good guy is kind of a strange concept for people in this universe. And jysk, it pisses him off every time someone blows up an ant to destroy a city.  In fact he's 'rescued' a few of these and sent them to a reserve for mutated insects on his own private island.

What is their idea of good entertainment?

Winnie's absolute fav is bluegrass music.  He even likes to play!  His fiddling skills sure did help a lot when he was re-learning how to talk.  And fact, he and his ex Phillip have a bluegrass duo that plays every once in a while in select bars.  Winnie plays fiddle and Phillip plays mandolin.

How old would they see themselves as if they did not know their age?

Probs like early 20s.Winnie is constantly feeling like he only started to figure his shit out yesterday.  He also has this misconception that everyone who's 21 already has figured all their shit out- except for him.

What do they want or need most? 

What would they be willing to do for it?He does want to be honest and stop pretending to be an alien just to do his work.  But judging by his friends' reaction to his transformation, he's afraid the whole world is going to pity him and try to get him to turn human again.  For the record, Winnie has figured out how to reverse the transformation- he just doesn't want to.   He's much happier as a bug than he ever was as a human.

If they were to die and come back as another person or creature, what would they want it to be? What would it really be?

Pfffft, oh gosh.

Probably just a normal millipede that no one has any expectations of. But he would probably end up coming back as a deer.  Winnie has a v skittish personality.

How would they like to die?

Yowch.  You ain't pulling punches.

It's a cliche but, surrounded by friends.He only has a handful of people he considers true friends, so that shouldn't be too hard.

Winnie doesn't want to go down in history or make a huge impression.  He just wants to do Good Things while he's here, in a way that makes him happy.

[heyscience]

If I Were Inquisitor - Ask Meme.

@batsintheshadows @tea-me-and-smut @foxywolfmeerkat13 @howling-at-night OMG THIS IS SO FUN YOU GUYS HOLY SHIT!! Thanks so much for writing yours, and I’m so stoked to finally share mine!

If you are reading this and want to give it a shot, please reblog the original post and I’ll send you an ask! I LOVE THIS SO MUCH, I LOVE READING PEOPLE’S ANSWERS. THEY’RE ALL. SO GOOD!!!!

1. Race: I want to be a giant muscley mountain of a Qunari. I wanna be the very best, like no-one ever was, at smashing my enemies’ faces in and giving the best goddamn hugs there is. 

2. Class/Specialization: Two-handed Warrior/Champion. I like hitting things, and I love the idea of getting involved in all that pompous Orlesian chevalier bullshit and RUINING IT for ALL OF THEM.

3. Your homeland? It’s gotta be somewhere warm and by the sea (because I love the ocean and also I can’t deal with the cold cos I am WEAK), so I’m thinking Rivain. Ooh! And that would mean I’d have a bunch of sick tattoos and piercings! Rad.

4. Your family? (Ok so I’m basing this loosely off my irl family because they’re my best point of reference I guess????)

So, my family. I love them, but they’re a mess.

My Mum was the ideal Tamassran. A devout adherent to the Qun. She worked as a healer and was very well respected in her field.

That was until she met my Dad, who in short, looked at the Qun and was like ‘fuck this shit I’m out.’

Dad was a soldier and one day he was wounded in battle, ended up in the hospice where Mum worked, wooed her, and they ran away together to Rivain.

They had my brother and I and then realised that they’re actually polar opposites and it’s a wonder they were ever attracted to each other. They split up, re-partnered and had more kids. So I have a pile of siblings that I have varying degrees of blood relation with, but we all consider each other fully part of our extended, convoluted family (for serious - irl I have 9 siblings).

Mum taught me business sense and how to tend to battle wounds, Dad taught me how to fight. I’ve got a lot of family of various races all over Thedas, all related (not necessarily by blood) one way or another. People say lovely things about my Mum, and the craziest things about my Dad - the stories of his exploits are so outrageous it’s difficult to believe any of them are true (like irl my dad was involved in organised crime for a while but quit cos he got bored????).

I love my family but I’m really bad at keeping in contact with them, so I get the occasional letter from Mum being like ‘ARE YOU DEAD?!’

Leliana has taken to sending her reassuring updates preemptively.

5. Who were you before? I imagine I’d be part of something like a dnd adventuring party.

We started out as a ragtag group of misfits, travelling the land in search of gold and glory. It was mostly treasure hunting and mercenary gigs, and some of the work we did on the high seas was um, legal-adjacent (piracy). But occasionally we’d stop to lend a hand to those in need, pass ourselves off as bards to earn extra coin in small-town taverns, and we even involved ourselves in vigilante justice a couple of times.

We grew into our own little family, and eventually we found ourselves wanting to do the type of work that really mattered. That’s why we signed ourselves up to work security at the Conclave, with a plan to move into aiding refugees in Ferelden afterwards. It didn’t. Quite. Work out that way. Unfortunately.

6. Would you be religious? That’s a hard no.

7. Do you have a mabari? YES PUPPY! Who is also a fully fledged member of our adventuring troupe I might add.

8. Your opinion on other races? Elves = rad, dwarves = awesome, humans = eh, dragons?? = HELL YES

9. What would Varric’s nickname for you be? Stubby.

10. What would your tarot card look like? This one is hard! I’m thinking a lot of compass imagery (because the sea and travelling and finding your way etc.)...and I’d have to be facing at an angle that best accentuates my glorious biceps.

11. Where would you hang out in Skyhold? I like to be in the centre of the action, but I’m not sure where that would be?? Probably in the main Skyhold courtyard near the entrance, in amongst the merchants? It’d be a good spot to see the comings and goings, check in with recruits and workers for the Inquisition, and also play with any kids who might be around. 

It’s important to make sure the kids of the Inquisition are happy and healthy and, um, ok Josie I’ll admit it, they’re also way more fun to hang out with than that stuffy noble whoeverthefuck you just brought in from Orlais.

12. What would you do for fun? Knock back beers in the Herald’s Rest with my companions, come up with dirty drinking songs with Sera, get blackout drunk with Dorian (although I’ll eventually realise it’s a very unhealthy coping mechanism and encourage Dorian to join me in cutting down the booze), swap stories and quality bants with Varric, beg Vivienne for fashion advice, gush over romance novels with Cass, have tea and gossip sessions with Josie, poke fun at Cullen, spar with the Inquisition recruits (and scare the shit out of them), and, just anything to distract from the looming horror that is Corypheus.

13. What armour would you wear? Heavy, shiny, and bloodstone red.

14. What would your room look like? Organised chaos. I love playing host so my room would look mostly neat, but the writing desk would be an absolute mess. It would probably make poor Josie hyperventilate (which is why I’d always suggest we discuss things in her office, or at least give me plenty of notice before swinging by my chambers so I can tidy up). 

15. Who would be your friends at Skyhold? I’d wanna be friends with pretty much everyone, but I think I’d be closest with Dorian (BUT of course only after giving him a solid scolding for his views on slavery, and I’d only continue talking to him if he came to his senses).

We have a very similar sense of humour, and. Oh man. I have way more feelings about this than I thought I would. In short - I can imagine both laughing with him and collapsing on the floor together with a bottle of wine (each) and many tears.

16. Would you have any friends outside of the Inquisition? This makes me sad because my closest friends outside the Inquisition would be my adventuring party and they..would’ve...the Conclave...EVEN MY MABARI. MY POOR PUPPY. OH GOD WHY. TOO MANY FEELINGS.

17. Who wouldn’t you get along with? Cole. It’s not that I don’t like him, I’d just be super awkward around him, like ‘HELLO SPIRIT CHILD HOW ARE YOU TODAY. OH, IS THAT AN INSECURITY OF MINE YOU JUST POINTED OUT?! WELL COOL, GOOD TALK.’ 

18. Who would you romance? I know this isn’t possible in Inquisition but I would like to be in a polyamorous relationship with Isabela. SHE IS MY FICTIONAL SOULMATE OK.

(Also I’m more than a little bit in love with Cullen but I hate myself for it so)

19. Would you do pranks with Sera? AbsoLUTELY.

20. Would you sleep with the Iron Bull (casually if not romance)? 100% YES. It’d only be an occasional thing tho, cos while I’m a masochist and I like being tied up I’m not really a sub. I’d mostly go to him for bondage tips and um. Requests for. Demonstrations.

21. Would you keep Cole around? Yes. I’d still be weirded out by him, but I acknowledge that it’s completely not his fault. I’d take his word for it that he just wants to help people and let him have at it with that freaky mind-reading and vanishing shit he does.

22. Can you play the game (politics)? A little bit. I’d have to work the scandal angle. Being a Qunari I could never hope to assimilate into the realms of the nobility, but I could win their favour by being something of a novelty. Much like Casanova in this brilliant adaptation starring David Tennant - watch from 10:42.

You see, you don’t have to be liked by everybody, just the right people, and you can usually get them onside by just being very fucking entertaining.

23. What would be on your tombstone in the fade (What are you afraid of)? Ghosts. I’m not sure how well that translates to a Thedas setting but still, it’s my biggest fear so I’m sticking with it.

24. Who would you recruit to seal the breach? Mages.

25. Opinion on Mages versus Templars? Ok, so I have a proposal for how to fix this bullshit:  

1. The Chantry should relinquish any and all control over the affairs of mages. Separation of Church and State, simple as that.

2. The Templar Order should be disbanded, and the practice of indenturing soldiers by saddling them with a lyrium addiction should be banned.

3. All people in Thedas (and I mean ALL) should be taught about magic from a young age, both the gifts and dangers of its use. Everyone should learn about magical safety and how to resist demonic possession.

4. Mage children should attend the same schools as everyone else, but they can hone their skills in their late teens to early adulthood in mage colleges, with free tuition paid by the State (of wherever part of Thedas this is). They can research magic, learn a trade or train in combat, whatever they choose. Mages will be allowed to earn money, marry, have families, and have some actual freaking rights. None of this ‘hunt ‘em down and lock ‘em up’ bullshit.

5. Also the Rite of Tranquility WHAT THE FUCK. I can’t believe it’s a thing people actually agree to do. This rite should be downright fucking outlawed, and severe penalties levelled at the people who attempt it.

26. Who would be put in charge of Orlais and why? Briala. I wouldn’t suggest to Briala that she should get back together with Celene, because honestly their relationship was really fucked up and Celene abused the power imbalance between them. Briala deserves better (like for example me..maybe...but y’know, only if she wants to..)

So I would keep Celene on the throne but hand over all real power to Briala. Celene is a crafty one however, so we’d have to corner her with blackmail and keep a hidden killswitch on hand in case she tries to pull a fast one on us (just like the Voltron kids should be doing with Lotor, which sorry, I know that isn’t related but I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT IT).

27. Would you sacrifice the Chargers? NEVER.

Seriously Fuck the Qun. The Qun actively promotes eugenics with how they selectively “breed” their people. ALSO the Qunari are gaslighted into believing that they will literally go insane if they don’t follow the Qun?!!!?!?!!??!??! FUCK THAT SHIT.

So yeah, I was never keen on the idea of allying with the Qunari, so when Gatt’s like ‘if you sacrifice the dreadnought there will be no alliance’ I’m like ‘I am ok with this.’ Also, of course, I love the Chargers with all my heart and couldn’t bear to lose them.

28. Would you go after Blackwall? Yeah. He should put all his moral posturing to good fucking use and try being an actual hero. I’d make him join the Wardens, cos it’s effectively a death sentence (or an early grave at least ) and I don’t 100% dislike him, so I know he’d be cool with it because he has a giant fucking hard-on for the Wardens (Jesus fuck). 

29. Would you drink from the well? Nnnnnoooooooooo..and it’s because I would fucking die for Morrigan. I wish I could say I have a well considered reason, but I’m just pathetic like that. She could say jump and I’d say ‘I’d rather not, but, counter offer - would you instead like to sit on my face?’ 

30. Where would you go if the Inquisition was disbanded? Minrathous. It’s warmer there (I love Skyhold but fucking hate the cold), and I would involve myself in the inevitable slave uprising - helping out in whatever way I can. Also I’d just be having a fucking great time terrorising the Magisters, rocking up at the Magisterium like ‘LOOKIT ME I’M A RAGING QUNARI HERE TO INVADE, RARRGHH!! oh hey Dorian, what’s up babe how’ve you been????’

31. How do you react to the egg telling you he is an elven god? The five stages of grief:

Denial - lol no ur not, you’re our painty pyjamas nerd! 

Anger - Wait, so it’s YOUR FUCKING FAULT MY FRIENDS AND EVERYONE ELSE DIED AT THE CONCLAVE??!?! I AM GONNA GUT YOU AND STRING YOU UP BY YOUR INTESTINES SO I CAN USE YOUR WEEDY BODY AS A GORE PINATA YOU FUCKING MONSTER 

Bargaining - but you’re a god right? Does that mean you can bring them back? Can you undo all this somehow? You gotta have superpowers or some shit right??!?

Depression - After all we’ve been through...you never even saw us as people, did you? Did you ever think of me as a friend? Or anyone else? How could you be ok with murdering your friends? Solas, please, you don’t have to do this. I know that if we work together we can find a better way. You don’t have to destroy the world to save it.

Acceptance - ..................I fUCKING HATE YOU SOLAS.

[justanoutlawfic]

Open Up Your Eyes: Chapt. 2

Story Summary: A toss of a coin separated not only twin brothers, but a mother from her son. Decades later, they try to find healing and strength.

Chapter Summary: James’ walk lands him in the cemetery where he has a chat with someone who relates to him more than he realizes.

A/N: If you ship James & Cruella, this doesn't exactly bash the relationship, but delves into how toxic it is.

Also on AO3

James made his way through the quiet streets of Storybrooke, his hands stuffed in his pockets. In so many ways, it was like the Underworld. He had gotten used to modern convivences there, from technology to clothes. Yet, there were differences. It was brighter, people were alive and actually had hope. It wasn’t as cold. (People seemed to be shocked to learn that the Underworld wasn’t hot as the religions had told them it would be.)

 Being free of Hades was a good thing, but he found himself lost. In the Underworld, he had been sheriff. He was a ruler, just as he had been in his homeland. In Storybrooke…he was no one. A person everyone outside the family and those who knew him well confused with David. Identical faces, different personalities. He had been surprised when Ruby could tell him apart, it’s not as if he knew her before he died. She said there was something about his eyes. They were just as blue as David’s…yet filled with something. She had stopped herself from saying pain, but he knew it was what she meant.

 His mind flashed to Cruella. She was still in the Underworld, probably with no chance of passing on to either place. If she were there in that moment, she’d probably caress his cheek and coo into his ear.

 “Mummy’s good boy.”

 James had fed off her praise. He would’ve done anything for her, just to please her, to get the validation he so badly needed. And when he disappointed her, the look on her face, it made him want to crawl into a hole.

 “Someone needs to be punished,” she’d croon.

 Punishment meant teasing, in sexual or verbal ways. He’d find himself begging for her forgiveness, just to feel another bit of her affection, not that she gave it much. Cruella couldn’t do much to hurt him, thanks to Henry’s writing, yet she did what she could.

 He returned to her, every time. He needed her. He craved her.

 It wasn’t healthy, he knew that. He also knew he’d never see her again and that he needed to find a new way to cope when he was upset.

 Drinking was out. Robert drank when things got tough, as did George.

 As he rounded the corner, he found himself in the cemetery. Another difference from the Underworld, all the plots were upright. He wasn’t sure what he was looking for, he didn’t even plan on going there.

 Out of the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of blonde hair. Focusing more, he realized it was Emma.

 His niece.

 God, that was still weird. He had a niece that was his age. Older than him, actually. He had been frozen in time as 27 in the Underworld. Emma was 30. He pushed that thought out of his head, really he was 57. That wasn’t much better, but at least he still looked good.

 He had a nephew too, Neal. He was a sweet baby, not even a year old. He loved James, didn’t seem at all confused between the brothers. It scared James, that something so small, could be attached to him. He never had much experience with babies.

 Henry was a whole different ballgame. His great-nephew, at all of 13, was so excited to welcome him to the family. He had shown him the storybook in an attempt to explain their complicated family tree. He was still stuck on the fact that his sister-in-law’s former step-mother had adopted him.

 Emma was kind, if a little skeptical. From what he understand, she hadn’t grown up with his brother and sister-in-law, she had been an orphan. Despite just losing her boyfriend, she seemed to have it together. Slowly, he made his way over to see if she was leaving roses on Killian’s grave. Instead, she was placing  sunflowers on the grave of a man named “Neal Cassidy”.

 “Is your brother okay?” He asked.

Emma’s head shot up, clearly not expecting her uncle to show up. She looked from him and then back at the grave. “That’s not…” She shook her head. “He was named after Henry’s father, he died saving all of us.”

“Oh.” James suddenly remembered reading about Neal/Baelfire. “I’m sorry. You have lost more people in your life than you should’ve.”

Emma shrugged. “I’m used to it by now. What are you doing here, anyway? Shouldn’t you be halfway through your therapy session?”

James rubbed the back of his neck. “I had to get out of there…things were getting a bit too real for me.”

“I know how that goes,” she smiled softly. “What happened?”

“You don’t want to hear it.”

“Sometimes it’s easier to talk to someone that’s removed from the situation.”

 James sighed and she lead him over to a bench, settling down next to him.

 “I’ve hated my mother ever since I found out what she did. I resented her, it was so easy to do that. To just think that she chose David over me.”

“But?”

“But today I found out it wasn’t that simple. She had reasons for doing what she did…she…she…”

“Loves you?” On his silence, Emma chuckled. “Yeah, I get that too.”

“You do?”

“I didn’t meet my parents for 28 years. When the curse broke, I was happy…but I was angry too. For 28 years, all I knew was that they gave me up. I thought they’d have some good excuse and in the end, I just found out that they gave me up. I didn’t get it, not at first. It was so easy to still think that they didn’t want me. Then I saw all the things they gave up.” She bit her lip. “That they had wanted to keep me, all the plans they had for our lives together. They gave me up to give me my best shot at life.” She sighed. “Sometimes it’s a lot easier to hate than it is to love.”

“And now?”

“Now, I know that they love me and that I love them. It wasn’t easy though. For so long, even after things were better between us, I still felt like an orphan.”

“When’d you stop?”

Emma was quiet for a moment, thinking back. “It was after the second curse. I was planning on going back to New York and I went on this adventure. I realized just how badly I’d been hurting my parents and how much I didn’t want to leave them, how badly I wanted to be in their family. That’s when it dawned on me that we already were one. For the first time in my life, I wasn’t an orphan. I couldn’t just leave all that.”

James nodded. “I don’t want to leave. I just…I don’t know how to accept all this.”

“You’ve lived 30 years thinking one thing, it can’t be easy.”

“Technically I wasn’t living.”

Emma snorted. “I love your sense of humor.”

 James took his niece in. She reminded him so much of her parents, which by an extension was himself. She had Snow’s eyes and her chin, but he and David’s hair and smile. He tried to imagine her alone and without a family and it broke his heart. He barely knew her and wanted more for her. They could understand each other in a way that David never would.

 “You have a family here, James,” Emma said. “Whether you like it or not.”

“I’m trying to accept that.”

“It’ll take time, but cutting out from your sessions won’t help things.”

He rolled his eyes. “You sound like Archie.”

“I’ve had enough sessions with him, guess I should.”

 James smiled, his first in a while and wrapped an arm around her.

 Maybe he didn’t have a lot in Storybrooke, but at least he had his niece.

[kgxiangyu-blog]

ILL-FITTING

• • • MISSION OBJECTIVE_  ▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭ 0% COMPLETED

OCTOBER 10TH

you are a vulture. the existance of corpses puts you into action. there’s no way to soften up this reality; it is what it is. you are a mere scavenger and today it rings truer than ever. 

MUMBAI INSTITUTIE

the name on your assignment file stare back at you. it’s 3 hours until the soonest flight out. you fill up your wait time by creating constellation between what seems like isolated stars.

mumbai institute → servers are down → within the same city as second site of explosion → one out of for attacked sites → kingsman related celebrations  ↓ three incidents establish a pattern. a fourth solidifies it. ↓ who would know the kingsman had an anniversary coming up? ↓ what are the servers hiding? ↓ who has a grudge with the kingsman?

you’re going unaccompanied this time. you specifically request one handler with tech background to be on standby with you. this situation isn’t something that an entire team is ready to be exposed to. the less that people know, the better.

• • • MISSION OBJECTIVE_ ▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭ 0% COMPLETED

OCTOBER 11TH

the premise that stores the servers is blocked off to the public. scanners for student and staff IDs stand at every door. there is a security guard at the mouth of a road leading into campus grounds.  

you present your badge with colored ink and embossed features mapping out lie after lie. the emblem of the four lions perched catches the reader’s eyes. they scan it with scrutiny and criticism.

“IB is assigned to a tech issue?” they ask.

“any matter dealing with homeland security is our business. i can’t disclose anything further than that. they sent me from new delhi as soon as possible.” you deliver your lines with confidence, and just the right amount of ease to make the performance believable. the language and accent flows off your tongue after practicing on the plane. 

you hold out a yellow envelope with no intent on handing it over. “the authorizations issued are contained in here. do you have the clearance to check these?” 

“yes? i mean, no.”

“is there someone around who does?” hold your ground.

“the security chief out on a lunch break.” ( convenient. )

“alright then i’ll wait for your chief. i don’t want to make this hard on you after all.” earn their trust. 

“thank you. i’m just a patroller.” ( convenient. ) “i don’t have the authority to let anybody in or out without clearing it with my chief.” 

���of course, i completely understand that. you’re just doing your job” you put on a smile to warm the mood. “it’s tragic what happened in the city. i heard about it when i got assigned. i hope all of the families are coping well. i wish i could do more for them.”

“it is a tragedy when some people think they can do whatever to other people’s lives like that.”

“i agree. i think it’s commendable that even in the face of a tragedy, people like you are still doing their jobs to the fullest. like keeping an institute safe from outsiders. even people like me.”

you share a short laugh together.

the patroller scratches their head. “not really, no. you flatter me. there’s not much to keep safe nowadays.”

you feel the metaphorical tip of your shovel striking the outer shell of the treasure. “oh?” you feign surprise. “i think you’re being humble. you protect people. that’s very dutiful.”

“no.” they wave their hand. “other than every day cleaning and security staff members, the tech heads haven’t been showing up. they’re taking the servers thing harder than i imagined.”

“really? not a single one shows up?”

“not according to my entry logs.” 

“that’s a shame,” you remark. you check your watch and leave the kind patroller with promises that you’ll come back after lunch time. 

• • • MISSION OBJECTIVE_ ▬▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭ 10% COMPLETED

OCTOBER 11TH – 13TH

your one sided conversations through your ear piece fill the spaces of your hotel. 

“i need you to run recent location checks and bank checks for some names.”

“ramani bhatt. alia desai. arun gupta. pooja patel. [...]”

...

“no strange bank withdraws?”

...

“yes, i understand it’s a lot for you. i realize you’re doing the job for a team of five.”

“can you work through the night?”

...

“you spotted one on a highway traffic cam? which highway was it? okay. got it. i’m looking now. seems like it leads out of northern mumbai.”

“another one going out? well this road specifically leads to the airport. you already looked into it, of course. my bad. so they didn’t fly out.”

“wait, that road. what’s it’s name again? yeah that one. it leads to dharavi. all of the spots we’ve marked circle around this city.”

• • • MISSION OBJECTIVE_ ▬▬▭▭▭▭▭▭▭▭ 20% COMPLETED

OCTOBER 14TH

with the help of your handler, you two find one person who actually made a stop within dharavi. this was a few days ago but you’ll follow any lead that comes. of course, you never ask for others to do something you won’t do. you dawn a simple shirt and shorts in order to blend in with your environment. within a two block radius, you stay up to check out one location after another. 

in the afternoon you notice teens playing soccer for the second day in a row. you wait for the ball to go out of bounds and seize the chance to fetch it for them. “i’m looking for my friends,” you tell the locals. they point down the road when you tell them your ‘friends’ aren’t locals but they pass through a lot. 

“is there something fun down there to visit or something?” an incredulous laugh covers your piqued interest. 

they look at you like you were a naive child for saying something like that. when you check out the area, you understand why. dust blankets over the abandoned apartment complex from top to bottom. five floors worth of rooms with no cameras. or other forms of tech, to tap into means that you have to be creative.

you pull the knob turner on your watch until it comes off completely. the watch face is thick and is made to look cheap. from within, a small droid flies out.

“you got this?” you say to your handler back home. 

the droid whips down the hallway and you place your spectacles over your eyes. everything that the droid sees goes straight into a feed in your glasses and that is relayed back to HQ. floor after floor you see nothing but dirty rooms. it isn’t until the fifth floor that you spot a boarded up room. 

• • • MISSION OBJECTIVE_ ▬▬▬▭▭▭▭▭▭▭ 30% COMPLETED

OCTOBER 15TH

it’s midnight when you grab your equipment and come back. you plug in a usb into whatever computer that can turn on. your handler can remotely access the computer on a shallow basis. they can view what’s on the computer but not necessarily do much else.

that’s where you come in ( regrettably ). 

“so there are huge files that are protected? ––encrypted. there, are you happy now?”

“saying that this is a windows and not a super computer doesn’t mean much to me, but i get what you’re saying. i guess testing every algorithm won’t work.”

“you want me to do what?”

“you know that in the time it takes for you to walk me through things, you can come here and do it yourself, right?”

“you believe in me.” you huff out a soft laugh. “alright. teach me.”

they tell you you need to find a key–– then proceeds to chuckle when you ask if it’s a physical one. they continue on saying that they’re going to send a malware to your email. you plug your phone to the computer and run the malware program.

the program apparently runs through a computer’s memory to see what encryption process was used. by knowing that, then a key to solving the encryption can be obtained. 

...

you doze off for two hours while the program is running. you awaken to check the program, not knowing how to make heads or tails of it. the status bar is still running so you leave it alone. your handler has been quiet and you assume either they’re sleeping or working. 

...

four hours later you wake up. not because you feel well rested enough, but because your stomach needs quelling. 

there’s a protein bar in your bag that you scarf down before going back to sleep.

...

7:00 AM.

this time you wake up to your handler tsk tsk-ing at you.

“don’t give me that. how is the program doing?"

“you’ve found the key. great. so now what?”

“yes, i believe i did tell you this would be less efficient. even before you realized how much info is in here.” 

“alright. well whenever you find someone to get the algorithm written send it to me.”

• • • MISSION OBJECTIVE_ ▬▬▬▬▭▭▭▭▭▭ 40% COMPLETED

OCTOBER 15TH

9:00 AM.

“anybody yet?”

“okay. keep looking and keep me posted.”

...

2:45 PM

“you got somebody. fantastic.” ( about time. )

“do me a favor and change this priority to yellow status. i just need to to be done. thanks.”

...

6:50 PM

“in HQ? get up and leave now.”

“forget the mission. you need to go.”

“don’t send me anything. evacuate.”

“i am your superior. listen to me.”

you are pacing back and forth in the abandoned room. this mission isn’t worth losing a life over. 

“okay, okay, okay. i got it. i got it. do as you’re told now.”

...

7:00 PM

you lose all contact with HQ. your glasses cannot read or send any information to the servers. you had two choices.

one: catch the next flight back. two: continue on

you choose the latter. not for lack of consideration for your coworkers but you are more beneficial to everybody here. your handler risked everything to get you this program so you need to see it to the end. you owe it to them to uncover the truth.

• • • MISSION LOG_ ▬▬▬▬▬▭▭▭▭▭ 50% COMPLETED

OCTOBER 17TH

you’ve bought enough food from the city to last you a week. you hole yourself up in this room, waiting for the program to finish. your handler told you this version isn’t streamline enough and it requires monitoring once it starts. you don’t know any better so you follow the instructions given to you to the tee.

• • • MISSION OBJECTIVE_ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▭▭▭ 70% COMPLETED

OCTOBER 19TH

you are tempted to bring in someone, anyone, to help you hurry this process along. but considering the level of security on these files and the sheer volume of the files, you don’t have that luxury. patience calls your name and you have no choice but to respond. 

• • • MISSION OBJECTIVE_ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▭▭ 80% COMPLETED

OCTOBER 21TH

you chow down another cup of ramen for yet another meal. your eyes tire from staring at the screens for so long. you manually enter one prompt after the next, wishing that you can scream at whoever assigned you this mission. 

• • • MISSION OBJECTIVE_ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ 100% COMPLETED

OCTOBER 24TH

the process is finished and the window disappears. it’s the most anticlimactic ending but the stress melts right off your shoulders. 

you go through the folders individually. each of them are labeled with a name and it goes on for several scrolls. altogether there are about one hundred of them. you click one open and within are columns full of pdf files. from just the very first file, it looks like several experiment trials–– visuals included. 

the first one, AMELIA, turns out to be a two year old pig.

then BAKER, DYLAN, a thirty year old male. 

LEE, JOOHYUN, a ten year old girl.

the data goes on like this without fail. 

the reality of the situation makes your stomach lurch, but you read as many as you can bear. the after images hit you harder than any punch you’ve ever endured. you gathered enough information to know the experiment dealt with specialized steroid effects.

without hesitation you exit out and check some unmarked folders. you run them in a text format and they detail bank activities from an account under the name kumar adani.

each piece resembles the same completed photo but you’re not quite sure how they fit together just yet. at this point you know that there’s no choice but to load as much of the data onto the hard drive built in your ring.

it’s time to go home.

[saints-row-2]

what are nicu's most memorable missions from sr 1&2? i assume stuff like red asphalt... but other than that, maybe smaller moments that left an impression? also, what are their favourite activities from games?

god good fucking ask. also sorry it took me forever to answer it. 

obviously Burying the Evidence/No Time to Mourn where Lin died was kind of a shock to Nicu’s system... no one in their life had ever.. died before? so it was like the moment they realised 1) people fucking die and 2) revenge is the answer to everything. like they werent a particularly vengeful person before id say and this kind of really.. planted the seed in them of what theyd become in SR2 (which was obviously grown by Julius’ betrayal)

on top of that... Green With Envy was a big deal because it really cemented in Nicu how much they cared about Johnny and kind of the whole idea of like... having the power to save people and also having the drive to save someone. 

i can actually see Green With Envy being a good follow-up to No Time To Mourn; Playa’s shaken by Lin’s death but their abilities are re-affirmed by them succeeding in saving Johnny. Nicu was in love with Johnny from the get-go but i think the fact they like, had to save him? probably really... affected them somehow like i kinda like the idea it really gave them the belief they had each other’s backs... like from then on (and 3rd Street Vice Kings cemented it) they were really best friends yknow

(Green With Envy also taught them how much Aisha really genuinely cares about Johnny and vice versa and i think frm that point they were committed to never getting in between that)

battlefield promotion, stuffing the ballot and hail to the chief were kind of landmark moments as well because it was Nicu’s first taste of being in a position of actual authority and i mean. you can guess they liked it. 

i weirdly think Homeland Security was kind of important to Nicu as well? i think actively having to protect the Row really put a stamp on them somewhere subconsciously 

and then of course yknow the intro missions like Canonized, Back to Basics, etc, those really shaped Nicu in a big way..  the introduction to this world where their violent tendencies actually got them reward and admiration? the Saints really. painted who Nicu would be.

in 2... i dont think Red Asphalt had as much of an impact on them as Burying the Evidence because theyd kind of already been through a situation where a friend died and it was arguably “their fault” and like i see a lot of people saying that Carlos was Boss’ responsibility in a way that Lin wasnt, but i think also by that point Nicu had learned to like... compartmentalise guilt and convince themselves things arent their fault? like Carlos’ death -- and Aisha’s death -- they both like... helped convince Nicu that things in this world happen not because they themselves fuck up, but because people dont respect them enough and people are too dumb to realise fucking with them means theyre going to get punished. 

i also dont think Nicu like... felt responsible for Carlos in the same way they feel responsible for say, Johnny, who is essentially the love of their life, or even Shaundi and Pierce who are their closest friends. Carlos was a friend but he was also a member of the gang and while Julius went back on it... Nicolæ buys into the whole “Those two were soldiers, they knew the risk” line? like its a war, as far as theyre concerned. thats not to say they didnt mourn Carlos but like... theyre prepared for death and theyre not going to let the deaths of everyone they know (or anyone in Nicu’s case because theyre a bad person) rest on their shoulders. you feel me?

and then Bleeding Out... you know Aisha’s death was a lot. Johnny being injured so badly there was a risk he might not live? that was terrifying for Nicu like they knew at that point they wouldnt be able to cope if he died. for Nicu this was another reminder that revenge fixes everything! but for Johnny? it was the realisation that it doesnt, actually, which is something Nicu wouldnt work out for a while. i do wanna say it was like a turning point in their relationship tho.. like it wasnt just another time Nicolæ saved Johnny it was a real moment where they both like... understood each other’s vulnerabilities like even a Fraction? they were a lot closer afterwards i think.

Visiting Hours was probably one of the most important bonding moments for them and Johnny tbh. 

Bonding Experience and Assault on Precinct 31 were like big bonding moments for Nicu and Shaundi & Pierce i think... theyd never admit it but they came out of those missions appreciating their stupid friends a lot i think. like esp in Assault on Precinct 31 it was a whole “you need these people and you enjoy them” moment. 

oh man and then of course, Revelation, which i am now CONVINCED comes somewhere at the start of the game, not at the end or whatever i said before, because it works so fucking well as part of Boss’ arc when you put it at the start. like kicking off the game with the Boss confronting and killing Julius before they go on to take over the whole city?? thats fucking powerful. that fuelled Nicu with so much anger and spite.... it really helped make them who they were throughout the whole second game because they werent just trying to get their city back, they were trying to prove that they could (to a dead guy..........). like it was a really... pivotal moment to them. it defined who they were for a long time, that need for revenge. 

god this is long enough already i should stop . please appreciate this im deathly ill it took me hours to write like every word. thank you for sending me good asks.