#oh to have social anxiety
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Sometimes i wonder "did something happen to my wife?"
And then i worry a lil and then i see she liked my posts and im like "im glad she is still alive but perhaps a lil stressed uwu"
#im sorry for calling you out pumpkin#“i cant believe a teenager is having more platonic sex than i am” - a guy i talked to#oh to have social anxiety#totally cant relate#not at all#i would never#me? also having social anxiety?#pish posh#btw pumpkin if ur reading this i hope ur exams went well#i hope u dont have any for the rest of the week#but knowing your school you definitely have like 3 other exams#why? because the school system wants ur blood honey#stop revising ur gonna do fine anyways cause ur so smart#anyways i hope ur doing well!!!!!
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Lmao OMFG Martin. He's now confirmed to have been jealous of
- (possibly lesbian?) Cop for daring to have private conversations with Jon
- literal embodiment of death Jon has only metaphorically met in a coma-dream
- lady he talked to for half an hour, once
Truly he is the "you know other people" meme
#i mean he was also catty to georgie but at least that's his ex gf#the magnus archives#martin blackwood#jonmartin#jmart#so so unhinged#i know people mostly love to coo over him bc they have self-esteem issues and social anxiety too#i simo over him for being a jealous petty argumentative passive aggressive bitch with oh so many issues#truly the character of all time#WHEN JON TALKED WITH HELEN HE'S BEEN BARELY NICE TO MARTIN AND ALSO ACCUSED YOU OF MURDER??#are you OK Martin???#i know it ended to working out but please have better taste girl
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Summery of an incident while in my Gangle cosplay.
I want to give a shout out to the kid who asked for my photo while I was crying & a thank you to the custodian who got help for me as well as refer to me as “scary marshmallow.”
#my cosplay#i guess#I felt like such a dumbass they thought I was like 11 and I kept having to be like oh god no it's okay im turning 28 this month#but i would appreciate if I could use a phone aaa im not crying because im scared about being lost im crying because i have social anxiety#quick doodleds
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explaining to a coworker I don't socialize out of work bc of The Anxiety. then later explaining why i have gray in my hair.... it's... still The Anxieties...... goin' gray since my early 20s........
#man its rough when people who dont have anxiety have to ask a million questions that the answer is just The Anxiety#like im sorry i dont socialize or want to have a conversation while three other people are in the room talking#its just a lot of overstimulation ok im just suffering please stop asking me things...#i get the loop of im failing a social interaction in my brain which makes it harder to win at a conversation#like every normal person would consider conversations as something you can lose or fail or win (?)#had another coworker who ive only really seen ? but he argues with the one asking me about my hobbies n social life#and so i saw him today and he was i think probably training or showing another guy around#and he was real quick to say no to helping me and im lik e???? i didnt ask for help?#and the other guy was like is that a constant thing? and he said no not me yet but he had to assert dominance#and i looked at him and told him very plainly#i am a pushover with anxiety you dont have to assert dominance at all i promise#and he actually looked kind of taken aback and guilty for snapping on me for no reason so then im like#oh great just me saying i hope to not cause problems caused a problem#anyway ........ i wanted to draw a halloween thing but i just dont have the spoons rn
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do you crave to be home playing with your sims while you’re out or are you normal
#ugh i’ve been out all day 😭#i had to sit through a two and a half hour marvel movie (actual hell) (for me)#it was my husbands work thing and it was free as the whole company went and then we had lunch after and omg bro#i can’t socialize for the rest of the week actually. i’m tired. overly stimulated as heck.#being a naturally quiet and shy person with anxiety is hard when you’re surrounded by outgoing extroverts for hours lol#anyway. i’m in the car going home now. i just want to work on my sims story 🫠#it’s just hard choosing to be out on a weekend when it’s where most my free time is lmao like. huh i could be playing sims rn#oh being an adult and having hobbies and a social life and work is hard
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“my anxiety isn’t that bad” bitch you’re wide eyed and shaking frantically googling ‘how do cafes work’
#shitpost#social anxiety disorder#so I have to go to a cafe for class#and im meeting a classmate there#but i haven’t been to a cafe in YEARS#i don’t know how they work and I’ve never been there before#ough life so scary#im gonna do it scared but oh boy and I gonna be scared
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ok this is a deeply deeply weird manifesto and i'm sorry but i feel suddenly very burdened to say it so. if you felt like we were friends and i unfollowed you, this is for you. (don't be scared this is not about problems with anyone this is just my mess. that I think is ok to have which is why I'm talking about it)
so I joined tumblr in 2020 when a) the world was isolated b) I had just moved to a new city and was living alone taking Zoom classes in my apartment. what started as a mindless distraction became such a lifeline of connection and friendship! and still such a support as things started to open back up and get busier in 2021, when I was teaching and in class in person but still struggling for close in-person friendships. I know the group dynamic on here has shifted a number of times, as some of you probably experienced from various vantage points. my use of tumblr has shifted too, on and off, as I've needed different things out of it and been in different spiritual and emotional states. and I've kind of come to realize that I probably threw myself in too eagerly in some ways. it was so exciting to have actual friends on here and for them to actually turn into friends in person, that honestly I maybe prized that dynamic too much for what it symbolized over actually valuing the people. I'm sorry for doing that.
anyway, that worked fine for a bit, but as (glory be to God) I've become much more plugged into my in-person community in the last couple years, I've felt more and more emotionally strained. I've taken up a new attitude towards my family that's much more in line with God, but also much more draining as it means I have to just pour out in prayer and love and wait with patient sorrow over some things rather than fighting and defending my perspective as always right and necessary; and then there's the church-related grief my family has gone through over the last year. I've had a very delicate and difficult friendship that pulled up a lot of unresolved stuff from a college situation and felt endlessly wearying at times. I've had another issue from college recur in a way I thought had been healthily resolved years ago. I've had this whole roommate marriage situation that as y'all know is a very weird trial and pressure. My church has been dealing with a strange and tough ongoing struggle that was already stressing me out before I started working there. My small group has been amazing and I've loved connecting with and relying on them more, but that connection also means more fully bearing the griefs of a lot of different people dealing with the different struggles of life. My advisor situation has been so weird and tough, making my academic work really hard, and then this recent church work has been fulfilling but physically and often mentally exhausting. My future location, work, and community is up in the air after a few years of stability. (I really didn't mean to make this a recitation of my woes, but honestly it's really helpful to see it all written out here; helps explain my deep deep exhaustion, I guess.)
If I ever followed you on tumblr, I love you. In a number of different ways. I feel fondness at the thought of you and at your presence; I want to know you more fully; I desire the good for you; and I find my well-being to be, at least a little bit, tied up with yours. That last one is the rub. As I'm sorting through all the callings and duties in my life, trying to identify what counts as changing my tires versus what wears my tires out, I've found that my tumblr dashboard can switch back and forth very unpredictably between one thing and the other. Often it's a delight to come on here and find my friends and the cool things we're showing each other and the joys and sorrows and goofy moments of our lives! But at other times, when what I desperately need is an escape and rest and humor to provide solace from in-person cares, I find myself pricked all over again by the sorrow of the world and the stress of sin--or even just irritated by stuff I find irrelevant or disagree with or don't want to be reminded of.
To be clear, I'm not saying anyone's doing anything wrong on here. The opposite; I love the freedom y'all have to seek out what helps you, whether that's a lot of facts and ideas or a lot of goofy content or recipes or weird TV or music or venting about life or seeking prayer or advice! We all have the freedom and responsibility to determine how to use the tools we have to aid us in pursuing the good, whether the good is a quick laugh or building up virtue. But I think for me, at this point in my life, my duty and calling has swung back towards my in-person connections in a variety of ways, and I have to honor that.
The lie of infinity that the internet offers is just that--a lie. for me, that lie right now is being laid bare in my inability to have infinite care for everyone whose path I cross. I could follow everyone on here whom I'm endeared to, could keep messaging and replying and building relationships, but it would be a lie to think I can offer that love and care to everyone I would like to. In-person friendships are limited by physical proximity and time; online friendships can't be unlimited either. I need to apologize for acting as though they could be, and committing myself beyond my limits; but also, my life has really changed, and I'm not going to be caught either by the lie that online is only worthwhile if it's permanent.
I want to be clear that I value the connections I've had with you. I've loved exchanging mail and phone calls, messaging fun things back and forth, being online at the same time or learning about your day after the fact. Please know, also, that I have gone to war in prayer for you, and I continue to do so. I wish that I knew how to love widely without feeling pulled apart and worn down, by difference and sorrow and sin (mine and yours). I hope God is sanctifying me toward that end. But right now I'm fairly convinced I need to honor my calling to in-person friendships; I need to protect my mind and heart from even little pricks and distractions, so that I can keep my desires in order and use my energy for prayer and Scripture and to do good work and love the people God's made my physical neighbors. I really do love you, and I wish we had infinite time to talk and think together. I'm so excited to be with y'all in heaven forever. And who knows--maybe my life will shift yet again (it's looking likely) and I'll have a ton of spare energy and love and will come sheepishly back looking to connect with you again. We'll see. You deserve love and attention and connection, in person and online, and I'm sorry that--at least as it feels to me--I held out the promise of giving you that and then had to withdraw it.
so. there's all that. My dash is super quiet these days, thwarting my dopamine search but pushing me towards texting friends, towards meditating more fully on Scripture, towards praying over my work and burdens. I hope you can understand and maybe even be glad that, God willing, this is how I'm able and needing to work for the kingdom right now. love you love you
#wow! that was crazy!!!! at least this is the neurotic overthinking website#so i hope you can not neurotically overthink what you did to make me unfollow you. and instead rest in our mutual finitude#the other day i had the experience of clarifying with a friend that i'm her best friend but she's not mine. in almost so many words.#(she asked who i'm closest to and i named a couple people here and away. then i asked her and she named a couple people and me)#she got teary but didn't have an anxiety meltdown which is huge progress for her! and we kind of acknowledged the difficulty and moved on#and kept hanging out and texting and loving each other#super weird experience but kind of like a lightning bolt of realizing things i've been intending for a while#we have to give each other the dignity of making choices even when the choices aren't each other. on a social level#we have a higher calling! all of us do! it sucks when the social stuff gets weird but we shouldn't let the weirdness distract from the call#and frankly once you start choosing the call over the world then the world's structures stop being at all compelling#for a neutral tool tumblr can be quite amazingly powerful for the Lord#but it is of the world and runs on some lies and i've hit a breaking point where i needed to confront those lies before i kept going#anyway. the point is. I LOVE YOU. and God has told me I have more urgent loves right now.#what an insane post to be making !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#oh wait edit to add! just to be clear i'm not trying to say don't message/reply/send stuff to me!#if i have to set a boundary i will but things are fine. just needing to reduce the dashboard noise#i highly recommend setting online boundaries btw. it's so much easier than stewing and stressing and wondering if blocking is justified#to just message someone and say ''hey you're doing nothing wrong but this way of interacting bugs me so please stop''#(which i've done only to followers never to people i follow. yet.)
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you guys will see a post talking about how incels are refusing to form basic human connections because of toxic masculinity, lone wolf syndrome, and seeing women as sex objects whose only purpose is to be emotionally and sexually available for men...
and then start talking about how people with social anxiety are people too :((( what's wrong with being socially awkward?
like bro.
If you have social anxiety, and you have a hard time communicating, and you're neurodivergent, and you're an introvert... yeah ok, but why do you immediately side with guys whose entire mantra is that women aren't people and they shouldn't be lonely ever, because women should be provided to them like service dogs by the government?
I know you're socially awkward and all, but come the fuck on. unless you've been living locked in a small basement bunker your entire life, being fed chips by a robot through a hole in the ceiling, you should be able to fucking figure out.
that there's a fucking difference between being awkward and accidentally hurting people's feelings because you have perpetual foot in mouth syndrome/have a hard time connecting to people.
and sitting in your room saying slurs on overwatch and telling female gamers that they're fat ugly bitches who should send nudes.
why would you even WANT to associate yourself immediately with that demographic? why do you read something about the worst people alive, who are deliberately awful to other people, and then say oh look it's me, I'm also "not good with people."
are you THAT socially awkward?
God I hate when I'm so socially awkward that I'm a sexist.
God I hate how my neurodivergence leads me to misogyny. what a weird coincidence that neurotypicals somehow also accidentally end up there too.
God, i hate when anxiety makes me want to lash out at women for existing, that's so bizarre.
yeah, good frame, guys. good work. let's say that all the willful evil in this world can be attributed to mental illness because accountability for your own actions is actually ableism, and all people who are mentally ill should be excused for whatever gross war crime they want to commit.
when you think about it, being a racist is also a form of social anxiety because you just can't talk to anyone who's not white.
your POOR thing.
poc all across the world really need to take in account that white people only became colonisers because they were socially anxious and have a hard time speaking to people, so instead they opted for genocide.
#women on twitter are talking about how theyre expected to emotionally coddle men who refuse to make meaningful connections with people#who insist women should have no emotional needs of their own and should drop everything to fix them#and yall are on here#saying oh but wait what if that guy with a fucking 88 in his username has social anxiety :(((#yeah im sure he does#maybe he should kill himself
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I was watching Komi San with my sibling a few months ago and I’m surprised nobody ever talks about a character who’s running gag is that she’s chubby and everyone calls her fat but she looks like this:
#txt#I stopped watching because I got sick of it pretty quickly#it was a mix of getting fed up with seeing teenagers sexualized +#this should not have been from the male character’s perspective#Komi San should’ve been the protagonist. oh well. that’s what Bocchi is for#also idk it’s just weird to make an anime about a girl who has social anxiety and then give her like 20 friends by episode 6#you’re kind of removing the whole point of writing a character with social anxiety if she already gets everything she wants
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Jon, during college, going into a small coffee shop to order a drink: hi can I get a-
Martin, the barista who is a giant fan of the mechanisms and has seen them play live like three times already and has a minor crush on Jonny DeVille: are you Jonny DeVille?
Jon, his hands going up to his hips in pride: I- yes, yes I am :)
Martin, is visibly shaking from excitement desperate to ask for a photo but hates the idea of being an annoyance for asking: cOOL
#jon's excitement overtakes his social anxiety#he asks martin if he'll go to see their next show#bc he'll get martin backstage and photos and stuff#and oH BOY HE SURE IS GOING NOW DUDE#this is based on another post i made but I'm too lazy to go find it lmao#bc i have been spam posting all day#the magnus archives#tma#jonmartin#the mechanisms
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Hi sorry to bother you but I just wanted to say that as an autistic person Starstruck makes me want to cry. I love her so much let her live the happy life she deserves with people that accept and care about her. That “otherness” or feeling of being “incorrect” and being seen as suspicious/ostracized for it was absolutely NAILED and it HURTS SO GOOD. I just really wanted you to know that. It’s nice to see someone like me in media, especially in something like the Kirby franchise. Thank you.
ohhhhh i am SO thrilled to receive this message because i am autistic, and by extension so is starstruck, and this was entirely on purpose! i'm so happy that you feel i nailed it! thank YOU for letting me know this; it's the highest praise i could have hoped to receive!
this was intentional autistic representation by an autistic creator and i am over the moon that it's connecting with you! her inability to "have the right magical signature" and her "mimicry of the signatures around her in attempt to fit in" is explicitly a (rather ham-fisted, if i'm being honest) autistic parallel, especially towards masking.
there are obviously parts of her story that aren't explicitly parallel (she is still a little alien after all, and there's going to be Fun Dramatic Aspects that my real life autistic experience sadly lacks), but for what it's worth i'm really happy that this purposeful allegory was noticed!
thank you again so much for writing in, it means the world
#also ngl but i just think like the entire kirby cast is pretty autistic in their own way#like we ALL know meta knight for SURE but the others too. at least imo!!#i have actually been wondering if folks were picking up on this tbh. it seemed so apparent to me but that's bc i made it so i knew#i've had some say 'oh it's the social anxiety' which.... yes. also correct. i also have that too & it is that as WELL but it's incidental#i think this is the first time that someone has directly compared it to autism. it's nice. thank you!#representation in media sure does continue to be like... a Certain Way. but i think you can just hit everybody with the autism beam#it's morally correct.#asks#starstruck dee#starflungs personal tag
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Actually I really wanna write a role reversal gerrymichael au and let me be so, so transparent when I say it is literally just bc I wanna fantasize about the tall, gangly blond man beating monsters to death
Everyone else has the same roles. Mary Keay is still Mary Keay in all her abusive and obsessive glory; Gertrude is still the Archivist.
Vaguely spiral aligned Michael who Does Not Like It. Pretends his connection is a hell of a lot looser than it is.
The only benefit (that Michael thinks of the Spiral) is how he can move around the Institute with relatively little interference and watch, after all, it is hard to behold something that is both nothing and everything and never was all at the same time.
Gerry ran away from home really young and actually succeeded. Spent a few years fucking around and learning what kind of benches are best to sleep on before applying to the Magnus Institute because that's what his dad did. He lied to hell and back on the application, but was hired quickly because of how thoroughly touched by the entities he was (thanks Mary) and Gertrude was running low on assistants. Gerry also felt completely justified in faking stuff and that he was perfectly qualified bc he grew up in a bookshop and how much different could it be (very different, as it turns out).
They first meet each other when Michael is prowling through artefact storage like it was a shopping mall, and pocketing everything he saw that didn't immediately mesmerize him. He was nervous and jumpy as all hell, even though this was not the first time he's done something similar and he's fairly certain Gertrude doesn't care, so when Gerry first spotted him from behind, he was immediately suspicious even before he saw Michael try to shove a lamp into his jacket pocket. This led to an altercation that eventually led to the lamp being accidentally turned on, Michael smashing it to pieces with a hammer Gerry had not realized Michael had, and Gerry suddenly being a lot more consciously aware of the supernatural than he was.
Gerry's mother was still obsessive over Lighteners, and she didn't make an effort to hide what she did, but she didn't actively try to educate Gerry on anything to do with the Fears. So he is fairly knowledgeable on the supernatural, but he doesn't know anything concrete about the Fears themselves and their categorization. The role of a stand by sacrifice instead of an errand boy and heir.
Michael still trusts Gertrude, but this time he knows he shouldn't and hates himself for it. Gerry wants to trust Gertrude, and she does hide him from anything Fears related and behaves around him like she did Michael in cannon, but he just feels something off about her and doesn't like it. She's just a bit too much like his mother for him to let his guard down.
Michael gets referred to by "it/its" pronouns once by Gerry as a teasing joke before Gerry fully knows what he is and is absolutely terrified by how happy the pronouns make his feel. (He thinks, maybe, that the Michael of his childhood liked something similar, too, but everything too far back is all twisted and he doesn't know what has been touched by the Spiral and what hasn't, so he doesn't trust any of it). He/it Michael ftw
At one point Michael just started putting black lipstick on himself because some of Gerry's always stuck to him when they kissed anyways n this gave them plausible deniability. Michael will never admit to the little spiral thrill it gives him when people do a double take upon seeing his face, the black lipstick contrasting literally everything else about his style.
Gabriel attempted to track Michael down exactly once, a few years before he joined the institute. He had heard about Michael's unsavory... Hobby... (<- reckless destruction of artefacts and throwing himself at all monsters and avatars he sees with a murderous rage regardless of their affiliation) but spiral avatars capable of holding a conversation are so few and far between and the Great Twisting was almost prepared, so he thought a meeting would be worth it. He showed up at a cafe Michael frequented one day expecting lovely, but tense, conversation, only to promptly lit on fire (mostly) in the back alley behind the cafe after he introduced himself. Gabriel survived, but some of his clay body still hardens unexpectedly or shows signs of firing from time to time.
Occasionally Michael's eyes will change colors and shapes, so he likes to put contacts in (he used to just use tinted glasses, but after one time of Gerry getting lost in his eyes in the far too literal, not at all romantic, sense, he decided to invest in smth a bit harder to take off and forget about). Unfortunately, this sometimes means other, very much not his original eyes will pop up around his body and in his hair as protest when he puts them in. It's not very fun to have to chase off eyes at 6am, but he does it regardless and complains the whole time about how he shouldn't have to deal with eyes when he very clearly isn't of The Eye.
Gerry: Oh hey you were running pretty late. I was starting to get worried.
Michael, not about to admit he spent an extra thirty minutes to get ready yelling and brandishing a lighter at a door that was following him around like a lost puppy: Ummmmmm I forgot my wallet. :((
#this has been in my drafts for ages so now I'm releasing it into the world so it's easier to find and therefore I remember to write it#gerrymichael#gerard keay#michael shelley#<- his personality is v much a mix of Distortion Michael and Michael Shelley with a leaning towards Shelley#the most 'I have no fucks left to give' man with extreme social anxiety#the ONLY reason Michael n Gerry did not meet in a cafe was bc Michael accidentally entered all the ones by the institute when he#had blood on him and was too embarrassed to go back#Gerry and Michael's first date is burning a spiral Lightner <333 Only Gerry thinks of it as a date and remebers it fondly.#Michael is still sad he couldn't do something normal with Gerry first#Oh!!! and idk if I made it clear enough but Michael does NOT hunt Lightners!!! He mainly goes after artefacts and monsters/avatars#Also this entire au was inspired by me dreaming of Michael (Shelley) beating the shit out of Jude Perry and one hit causing boiling wax#to spray up and hit him in rhe face. and just. him looking dizzy and far out and idly sticking his finger into the wax on his face and#swirling it around so it scars as a spiral. bc he thinks that is much Much prettier. Before he snaps out of it and gets very horrified with#himself very fast.#the magnus archives#NOT tagging this w the other ship name bc this is not distortion/door Michael#The Distortion is free of having been contained into a person (for now. Gertrude may try to throw Gerry into it during the Great Twisting)#n loves tormenting Michael Shelley (affectionate) n having tea with Gabrial n living its best lack of life while preparing for their ritual#lemme know if anyone else needs 2 b tagged.
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Italy on 35mm (check out my instagram , pls , the cost of film is not sustainable)
#i’m so sad these photos flopped on instagram and twitter#i knowww you gotta be like woaaa look at my photo here’s my photo again let me just add that to my story oh let’s interact with others !!!!#but buddy i have a social anxiety disorder i. can’t#but i want to share#bc#it makes me happy :’)#but#aaaaaaaa don’t wanna show off#wish my photography just like took off and i could drop out of uni and just make weird art#anyway#cat complains#kodak ultramax 400#nikon fm#nikonphotography#analog#analoguevibes#grunge#italytravel#film photography#35mm film#35mm color film#35mm camera#35mm format#filmisnotdead#my photography
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me if i had money
#and also if i didn't have social anxiety#me if you even care#I LOVE GYARU FASHION SO MUCH#OH MY GOSH#gyaru fashion#gyaru#hime gyaru#broke af#once i get rich and stop fearing judgement it's over for yall#cute#<3#gyaru style#gyaru aesthetic
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The Bocchi the Rock Recap movies were so much fun. The way they reorganized things and how they cut stuff down without losing much, it was worth the watch.
Using the kessoku band songs that weren't apart of live performances as montage music to cut down the cute girls doing cute things to the important moments without completely losing them was perfect.
And how they used segments from the early episodes as flashbacks, love it.
I can't describe the feeling, getting to the end of the second movie, seeing the shot at the end of Bocchi getting ready to leave home with her new guitar and the movie going to a modified version of the post credits walk down the street where she suddenly stops to think and it starts rewinding EVERYTHING all the way back to the first scene in the entire anime that had been skipped completely in the first movie, of elementary Bocchi being lead away by a teacher.
Oh how far she's come.
#Frin Speaks#Bocchi the Rock#don't want to distract from my thoughts on the movie with random things about the theater going experience of it so I'll drop it in the tag#managed to convince one of my siblings to go see it too. the other was worried about how long it was gonna be with their migraines#I was so anxious of going 'cause it’s the first time I've worn a dress in public and I'd probably have died of a heartattack if I went alon#there was only 4 other people in the theater watching with us. don't know why I was expecting more in Oklahoma of all places#someone did clock what I was wearing when the movies were over tho#I was standing up to put my jacket back on when I heard some dude 3 rows back gasp and whisper excitedly to his friend 'HIROI'#they didn’t say anything to me directly#feel like Bocchi stacking those cd cases on her desk like 'notice me notice me notice me'#sometimes I feel like I've come so far with my social anxiety and other times I feel like I've not changed one bit since I finished school#Oh how far I've come.#and yet so much further to go.
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Hot tip:
If mental illness doesn't get treated properly / don't improve and festers for years it can turn into a personality disorder. Or any kind of trauma disorder. Or whatever. Point is it festers.
#still struggling with the avpd diagnosis. like yeah i do have peristant anxiety. but a) i hate how the medical field pathologized avpd and#b) dont really relate with how its portrayed? like the only kind of community if found is just people venting online#about feeling absolutely hopeless. this isnt helpful in any way for me. or about people being very rejection sensitive which im not#🤷#but like yeah. for me its just anxiety thats not very 'oh no what if i walk weirdly' (thats what i dealt with in school) but more smth#creeping from deep within and sometimes i dont even notice how it takes over. its not noticable thoughts or Anxiety as a Feeling.#similar to dysphoria in that it absolutely influences your life but you might never notice yourself#and then i also just have social anxiety. but thats managable. sometimes exhausting. but ive had social anxiety for more than a decade now#i can deal with it#its very situational#and with situational i mean casual conversation with real life people (mostly of my age). doctors#this has turned into a rant lol#about me#avpd
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