#oh they are both trans as well
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day 160
sniblings
i was gonna summarize their backstory in the tags but even the summary literally got too long so TRAGIC BACKSTORY UNDER THE CUT
nobody likes Szelseis (manlet on the left). everybody likes Szuna (snake bod on the right). even their mom! this is due to circumstances outside of szelseis's control (ie Snerson Societal Hierarchy)
their mom, for reference, is genuinely a fucking monster. but shes nice to her daughter at least. Szuna feels... Some affection for her, for this reason. She's seen mom's "softer side." Szelseis wants their mother dead.
Szuna tries very hard to relate to her little brother but really does very little to actually improve his circumstances because well. she doesnt want to be treated the way people treat him. and standing up for him might get her tossed to the bottom of the social hierarchy alongside him.
but she wants to be there for him emotionally. and he trusts her more than anyone else for sure. she is the closest thing he has to a friend in this world.
so Szelseis vents to her about wanting revenge on their entire community. Szuna listens to him and offers sympathy but like. She doesn't take him literally when he expresses a desire to "leave town and burn the place to the ground behind them." shes just like haha yeah we should anyway good night
of course he immediately decides that he is old enough to make it on his own in the world ESPECIALLY if his older sister is backing him up, and then attempts to burn the town to the ground. (He's like, maybe 15 at the time.) he does a pretty good job of it, too! he starts of course with their mom's place in an attempt to kill her, but also makes sure the fire is set to spread.
by the time Szuna realizes what's going on, it's too late to stop him. so she confronts him and tries to at LEAST get him to help fight the fires but he's just mad that she lied about agreeing with him on this. has she ALWAYS been on their mom's side??
and she wants to be like "no i just don't condone mass murder like really this is an ENTIRE TOWN theres like KIDS AND STUFF not LITERALLY EVERYONE has been SO mean to you that they deserve to burn to death what the fuck are you DOING" but the fire is spreading and if he's not going to help then she will get to him LATER. bigger priorities right now.
While she's busy firefighting, Szelseis flees town and basically goes "FUCK everybody the world is terrible everyone is out to get me TRUST NO BITCH i am going to have to Treat My Self from here on out." so he becomes a shitty solipsistic little thief, trying to build up enough of a fortune to live in luxury for the rest of his life.
Szuna, meanwhile, manages to save their mom from the fire, and the first thing she asks her daughter to do is hunt down Szelseis and bring him back, dead or alive, she no longer gives a shit.
Szuna of course has mixed feelings about this. But she does what shes told anyway and sets off, figuring she can just.... Decide what to do about Szelseis when she finds him.
Maybe they'll fight, maybe they'll hug, maybe they'll run away from their shitty mom together, maybe they'll straight up kill each other.
WHO KNOWS!!! thats main story territory babey this is just the backstory
#day 160#year 4#my ocs#d&d#szelseis#szuna#i have been rotating them in my brain all damn day#oh they are both trans as well#not particularly relevant to the story but it IS pride month so#they are FUCKED UP but honestly. szelseis in-game has always ended up as more of a comic relief character than anything#havent gotten a chance to play szuna in anything yet#someday tho......
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you get two versions. bc i like you
#honkai star rail#march 7th#hsr firefly#trailblazer#hsr caelus#hsr stelle#dan heng#hsr memes#i feeeeel like this has been done before but i can't find it rn so who knows. oh well#tbh tb can be trans allegory too if they wanted (they're both very nb to me 😳). but i think it's funnier this way
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sharing your transmasc headcanons about female characters requires, like, 4 weeks of casing someone’s vibe. If everything checks out you can drop the batshit 40 page manifesto on top surgery allegory in the narrative. But you gotta make sure.
#this is true both ways ppl are very defensive abt ‘losing gay men’ to transfem headcanons as well#but oh boy#trans men are birthed fully formed from the head of zeus#lest we remember we lost a heroic tomboy 😔#dis.txt
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gonna be honest, its incredibly demoralizing for going through transitioning if you can't even be Transgender on the Transgender Website
#like oh okay I guess i'm not safe anywhere ever#the body dysphoria is already nightmarish but these past 2 weeks have just been#"well hey you'll still be constantly questioned even by other trans people and there is no space on this planet that will accept you#“but at least you won't want to punch EVERY mirror you see!”#wow cool thanks#really experiencing the positivity of both the LGBT+ “Community” and “Allies”
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project sekai is crazy because literally every character is queer trans neurodivergent physically disabled or some combination of the above
#and im not talking abt hcs im talking abt actual coding#minori is very explicitly in love with haruka#harukas is less obvious but she clearly returns minoris feelings as well#shizuku is so obviously nd [likely autistic but she could read as a number of other things]#airi is incredibly trans coded [that one event + her fes card]#mizuki is canonically trans#ena has ptsd in some format due to her fathers abuse and shes also got a lot of cluster b traits#kanade has ptsd from what happened with her father and wlw and physically disabled coded#mafuyu. oh gd. the cdd coding the transmasc coding the girlkisser coding.#anhane is basically canon#touya is autistic coded as is nene and ichika#shiho is nd#everybody in l/n likes girls#ichika is aro coded#and autistic like i said#saki is canonically physically disabled#akito [like ena] has some measure of ptsd from his father#akito and touya r both mlm coded#rui literally compares himself to a famously gay scientist in jp [FUCK THE EN LOCALIZATION OF THAT BTW]#emu is VERY CLEARLY AUDHD and somewhat wlw coded#nene is also wlw#tsukasa comes across as very nd#all of wondershow is aspec coded as well#and oh gd ive been talking a while i need yo shut up#but like. MAN. man. [goes crazy]#77ngiez.txt#can u guys tell ive been thinking abt pjsk lately
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chat i thought wanting a hug was romantic attraction. and that is the only form of attraction to men i frequently and strongly experience. right.
#other forms of attraction to men generally involve me mentally transitioning them.#im so fucking lesbian how did i not see this#literally if i find a hot man and i imagine kissing them? i mentally turn them into a beautiful trans woman and then i imgine kissing them#the wanting to hug was the only hint of actual attraction to men that did not require me to womanify them!!!!!#oh dear#why did i believe i have equal attraction to both genders you ask?#well#because i assumed im equally attracted to both but hot women are just more prevalent and there just aren’t hot men#which is. a bit stupid. in retrospect#im such a lesbian actually#lgbtq#siph speaks
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i need to remake my cup bros ref… both cup and human designs… it’s been almost a year(?) and i’ve developed the headcanons and i would like to share with the class!!! (i wrote thirty tags. Please help me)
#my little hc i kinda showed in the refs but didn’t point out: cuphead’s handle appears broken/in human form his ear is halved#cause he has microtia (that also affects the eustachiantube/middle ear). basically i am a HoH cuphead truther#also to add onto that i think he has poor auditory processing issues cause i also see him as AuDHD#double also. while he would use ASL on a bad hearing day i think regularly he also uses home signs to express words/concepts#autism-related btw. it’s actually a bit visible in insert cuphead media (to me at least LOL) that cuphead expresses a lot of body language#so not liking conversation oral or signed as well as replacing oral words w home signs is in character. at least to my headcanon whatever#floats your boat!#OH! plus his split upper lip that i draw him with isn’t related to the microtia. he just roughhouses and chipped/tore his lip open when he#was younger#cuphead is also a trans boy. it feels right to me LOL#even back in 2017 when i barely knew the game or also much about trans people i saw cuphead and was like hm. hm!#tbh he just pawned his clothes onto mugman. who i’ve also changed my hc for i see him more as bigender than a cis boy now#LOL. i cast bi on mugman. sorry buddy#OH HIM TOO. im so sorry mugsy i have like two headcanons for you 😭😭😭#she uses he/she 2 me. i like casting personal parts of myself onto mugman even if i gravitate more towards cuphead/chalice#i see him as a bi ace as well. and a hopeless romantic. i don’t ship uhh i don’t remember what it’s called#i don’t ship cala maria X mugman (respect though) cause i see the cups as kids and i’m also a hilda X maria shipper LOL#but in the show. i will be real that she is a hopeless romantic. Look at that dork#FORGOT TO MENTION. i am a cuphead aroace truther to my grave. KEEP THAT MUSHY ROMANCE OUT OF MY HIGH SEAS ADVENTURE!!!!#like i said w cuphead before mugman is AuDHD (they share. many genes LMFAO)#however the difference is that they express it in different ways; while cuphead’s is more linked to his hearing/social behavior#mugman’s is more related to her emotions. i see it through my headcanon colored glasses that especially in the show mugman has more#meltdowns between the two cups#he has high emotional sensitivity both in positive and negative ways; former as in being strongly attached to cuphead and latter as in#more prone to meltdowns as well as being very literal#which isn’t a bad thing of course. mugman we are shaking hands so hard we are the same#OK that’s all the ones i want to share right now. i also haven’t shared her human or cup design i did but i’m workshopping chalice!!!!!!#i am leaving her out intentionally she deserves her own post because i luv her so much#ok post over. twenty minutes dedicated to autism about the twins out of the trio#cuphead
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just randomly remembered that during my like 10+ attempts at the shadow yukiko fight i more or less consistently ran out of revival beads so yosuke was just dead (well unconscious but whatever) on the ground for like half the fight gfhfjvhfhfhd-
#puppy rambles#persona 4#p4#as much as i love him he's not always the most useful. that fight is one of those times-#still always keep him in the party though. perfect p4 team to me is yosuke teddie and naoto#i haven't gotten to naoto joining the party yet but i love her. trans icon. vibing naoto is the best thing to happen to the persona 4 fandom#and yosuke and teddie are my favorites of the investigation team thus far. the others are all very close but they're above the others#dunno why i like yosuke so much. souyo is def part of it#and teddie is very very silly. idk why people hate him so much like yea he can be kinda annoying but he's only existed for a few months#he doesn't understand social cues yet. he's just autistic leave him alone vhgbhmfhdf- /hj#i feel like a lot of persona characters have autism vibes but that's probably at least partially just me projecting#at the very least i'm sure we can all agree that aigis and marie do. autism arcana#that's. probably why they're my favorite girls ggyfubhngd-#aigis is easily my favorite persona character. she's cute and also silly :3 and bisexual i love the bisexual toaster and her doors <3#(aikoto + hamugis polycule for the win. makoto and kotone aren't dating obv. ryoji's also dating both of them separately#)#and marie is cute and also silly i'm totally dating her. love how persona technically lets you polyamory so long as you don't date everyone#i have to max her social link for the golden-exclusive content anyway so might as well#‚‚‚ this post got derailed. i like the part where i talked about my beloved persona 3 bisexual polycule#p4's def the best persona game i think but i love p3 very much too. makoto kotone aigis and ryoji are unsurprisingly my faves#really love yukari too. i spent several hours trying to figure out how to add mods to p3p so i could date her as kotone#it was not successful. i'll probably get it on steam when i inevitably play it gghdhchvhv-#and i'll get reload at somepoint too. probably on steam at least first so i can use the kotone mod i need my girlie#makoto is also great i love him. emo non-binary icon. but also silly girlboss. they're both so mentally unwell#that reminds me of a drawing i have in my drafts i should post that#oh also it's aikoto week apparently??? which is very poggers. idk the prompts but i need to draw my sillies regardless#i do slightly prefer hamugis but they're both very very cute to me. the toaster has two hands she can kiss both the doors-#idk why that joke's so funny to me. i should stop now-
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OKAY OKAY. u wanna hear about tfs being double trans
[VD: A clip of transformers: Earthspark of Nightshade (they/them), a young terran transformer still in their protoform speaking about identity with Tarantulas (he/him), a spider alt moded transformer, in his mausoleum turned lab]
Full transcribe below
Outside, in a cemetary, Nightshade steps out from behinda statue. Speaking coyly: Oh, perhaps... I could help you work?
Tarantulas: I... might have use for an assistant. If you follow my instructions, implicitly.
NS, sprinting past into the mausoleum excited: I'll prepare the work station!!!
Tanrantus looks down, follows.
NS, excited looking around: This webbing is so verstile, a truly ingenious design.
T: Yes, yes it is Nightshade. [beings working] most fail to properly appreciate my inventions.
Nightshade watches him work: Not even other decepticons?
Tarantulas, bitterly: Especially other decepticons [actives the device, projecting a human hologram] And to think, once this device is complete, I will pass for human. I won't be BOUND by restrictive labels like autobot, or decepticon anymore. [hologram fails to pick up a rock, Tarantulas taps at the device, and the hologram succedds] At last, I will be free.
NS: Isn't that a contradiction though? [Retrives a compotent part] You'll be free, but also hiding?
T: Ah, y-you'll understand. Once you choose an alt form.
NS: But I don't want an alt form.
Tarantulas addresses Nightshade directly: You are a transformer, another mode is your birth right. [returns to working]
NS: I see no need for one, aren't I sufficient as I am?
T: Young one, alt forms aren't meant to complete you, as though you have a missing part. They further express who you already are.
Nightshade looks complative at Tarantulas: I haven't heard it explained that way before... This is why you've chosen such a unique appearance.
T: Yes, I will always be Tarantulas. And you, Nightshade, however you may appear, who will you be?
NS: I'll be me! A sciencist. A protector, someone who... helps thoses in need [smiles]
Tarantulas, awkward and moved: I- I am glad for it. No one's ever been so generous to me... I [Goes back to working abruptly, changing tone] It is a gift, to know yourself so well, so young. Take pride in it.
A zanny montage of them working together starts, and the clip cuts. END
#some shit#its not called cisformers#<- WOO HOO WHOOOOO#THISSSSS what had me yelling... one of the things that had me yelling. HBFJH BUT U KNO!!!!!! THIS IS EVERYTHING IVE WORK TOWARDS EXPRESSING#nightshade is trans in both a HUMAN way ANDDDDD a tf way. whereas tarantulas is (as far as we know) trans only in a tf way.#AND! ADDITIONALLY!!!!!!! what to we owe children in our society?????#well if ur a creepy spider sciencist ur gonna. creepy spider science. BUT. SEEING A KID. WHO PERHAPS.#COULD USE ur transgender spider wisdom.LIKE???#YES SIRREE! those labels r so resitrictive. kid. all u need to be is urself. this is just an extra way (MODE.. oh i get it) to express that#ARE U KIDDING ME. YELLING> YELLLLLLLINGGGGGGGGG.#also hes so fucking awkward bud. lmao <3.#trans bird saga
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To follow up on the previous post mentioning that I knew I'd be meeting law soon in op and being excited because I'd know I'd like him. WELL. He's not the character I imprinted on. I mean let's be real I'll probably imprint on him aggressively when I learn more about him but u know who I DID IMPRINT ON? EUSTASS KID. THATS RIGHT. my gender envy snatched that boy so fast do u understand the envy of a person who as a kid was so desperately adhered to Toxic Masculinity and Always Wanted to Be Buff. Boy howdy did I mention I so badly wanted to be perceived as Male and that roughness expected of them. And Eustass Kid fulfills that roughly masculine stereotype to a tee EXCEPT not since he's also leaning into punk subculture and gender defying lipstick and it's not meant in an effeminant way but kinda a Don't Fuck With Me Way which his whole look screams and so suddenly that's TEN TIMES BETTER BECAUSE FUCK GENDER STEREOTYPES. and also did I mention he's clearly supposed to be Celtic/Scottish? and as a person whose also Scottish I'm like oh FUCK YES. And oh no that's EXACTLY the gender vibe I want. And then u don't know anything about him for the next age I guess since they all disappeared
#god i was such an ass as a kid. how did i realize i was not trans of somesort earlier...#oh wait cause my friend i grew up with ALSO adhered to toxic masculinity and we both wanted to be buff men. but shes now happy in her#relationship with her partner and i think the gender part doesn't matter much to her#which. well to each their own#anyways terribly embarrassing for my brain to latch on so hard#also as someone who does tanning and he sorta has that fur coat/warrior vibe my brain is like We Need More Furs in My Room#just finished two sheep skins two months ago which are on my floor#but itd be nice to get another bear pelt... oooo if its a grizz i might throw it ontop of my bed since itd be big enough#i already have a bear pelt over my desk chair tho. but. also 👀#theyre so cozy ok#gender envy#hugin rambles#eustass kid#one peice musings
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realising you're trans is like realising you've been driving in a clown car all your life and infinite clowns of misery and uncomfortableness and dysphoria have been squished into what looks like a completely normal car and once they start coming out they don't stop
#me rereading a vent fic about chest dysphoria i started in 2021#the same me who didin't accept i had chest dysphoria til this year 💀#'oh yeah that was just a phase' no bestie you repressed it to hell#and once again i WAS trans in 2021 i was nonbinary i was just also blocking EVERYTHING out#mine#gender adventures with neednoggle#i need to be nicer to myself ive only properly known for coming up to 4 months#vs 21 years of not knowing#im doing ok#i think im still enby now as well#jus in different way#some of it is hilarious anyway#i mean how much transmasc fic can i both read and write over several years#feeling incredibly comforted by and connected to#in a way nonbinary fic did not make me feel#and not have something click?#just feeling like a bad enby™#yeah all my transmasc fic? none of it was written with a jot of self awareness except half my bill and frank one#honeslty i think they were what tipped the scale 🤣#ok enough outing myself for today lmao
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t4t - tism 4 tism
#my gf and I will sit and vocal stim to each other for five minutes as we make each other laugh#newest alter is king harkinian from the wand of gamelon#the typ version of him.#this bitch makes her laugh so hard#anywho#go buy some water and support your local beekeepers#punch a facist too#anyway i gotta get ready so i'll lave you here#oh and yeah#we are both trans as well#anywayh#don't let the vore happen to you when you least expect it#i'm high as balls
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'4d chess gender' just reads to me as 'if youre a trans woman you will have to play rhetorical 4d chess to get me to even consider not calling you bro man and dude' at this point. how is it awful to call ppl 'theyfabs' but literally resurrecting an antiquated slur because of some bizarre fixation on a tumblr clique from fucking years ago is fine as long as the trans women youre throwing it at are like, 'pretentious' (the way certain FOLX on here use the term to mean 'doesnt agree with me and has any meaningful understanding of politics'). but bringing up that trans women are treated like shit gets you met with 'ugh why the discourse we should be sucking and fucking each other not fighting' like some fucking tboy andrew tate fan shit like telling a woman complaining about how you are treating her by saying 'shut up and suck my dick' isnt direct misogyny meant to put us in our place (as sex servants for the real human beings). this site is a fucking trashfire and anyone who tells you there is any kind of cohesive meaningful overarching 'trans community' is selling you something or trying to fuck you
#and all of this is literally due to the fact that nobody cares about misogyny when it is aimed at us.#not a term i like but im honestly getting pretty blackpilled about shit between this shithole and some irl shit#like. my gf was horrifically mistreated at her last job Because she was trans (and autistic thats p key there too)#i cant get gendered correctly at work. and i go on here and its 'oh well maybe the “afab transfem” is just complicated'#if you dont know what this post is about just keep scrolling#if you want to argue with me just save us both time and just block me.
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Earthspark Skyward and Thundercracker to Starscream like "we're not ashamed of you because you're trans. We are ashamed of you bc your goatee is ugly af"
#either both skywarp and thundercracker are both trans or starsrceam is#i wanted to draw this but oh well#transformers earthspark#earthspark#skywarp#thundercracker#starscream#maccadam
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I'm still so mad that August Kitko was such a mid book and like I would go do far as to say maybe it was bad but it's likely it just wasn't for me.
And then I read Hell Followed With Us and realize hey now... there's a lot of similarities between these two books and wow i am enjoying this other book way more. I almost want to dig into that and figure out why. Can you ever dislike something so much you want to take a scalpel to it and dissect it to find the bloody heart? Yeah that's what I'm feeling with August Kitko... it kinda sucks but I need to know why it makes me so mad.
#cat rambles#both books are about queer people at the end of the world#both are written by trans authors and yet the queerness is handled so differently#i just.... hell followed with us manages to really get into the world building and it feels alive despite most of hunanity being dead#akatmfs just... it feels so surface level and the more i think about thst book the more pissed off i get#i really wanted to like it SO BADLY AND YET I AM JUST SEETHING#i did finish akatmfs and i was just disaappinted at the ending#there are moments in hell followed with us that made me shriek out loud like OH SHIT ya know???#i like it when authors do interesting things with their medium#andrew joseph white does that so well with the spirit bears its teeth and with hell followed with us#ann leckie also does this well just with how she writes the characters and differing perspectives#akatmfs just.... even with two main characters it just doesnt do anything interesting with that#LIKE FUCK okay#chapter 1 is from gus's pov which is good! then chapter 2 is all from ardent's persepctive iirc#thats cool!!! i like different povs but then it just starts changing pov in the middle of yhe chapter and that just.... okay i guess#i thought you were setting up this cool rhing IT COULD HAVE BEEN SO COOL#theres a part where gus gets kocked the fuck out#imagine if instead of having thet dull ass conversation with Infinite the chapter was just kike a single line of him passed out and then we#snap back to ardent#THAT WOULD BE THRILLING#THAT WOULD BE SUSPENSEFUL BC WE DONT KNOW WHATLL HAPPEN TO GUS#but no we get thus dumb ass concersation between gus and infinite that i just disnt care for#i read it all and god i just rolled my eyes becasue of course the book reveals the mystery of where the Vanguards cane from so fast#maybe i just gotta write an essay about this idk#i have thoughts
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idk using he/him for dr loboto just registers as misgendering to me. Idk. I just cant do it. i dont have the heart. i dont have it in me. like its perfectly fine when other people do it but when i do it its like "Is this truly what she would have wanted..."
#ramblings#dr loboto#caligosto loboto#well you know what they say! umm. checks the writing on my arm. oh yes! “the exaggerated swagger of a trans woman”#its so strange and silly because i hc her to use both she/her and he/him .... (nonbinary transfem)#gender weird girlies rise the FUCK UP!
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