#oh the imposter syndrome.
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I dont know. i wish i was as smart as i pretend to be sometimes
#my posts#oh the imposter syndrome.#experiencing The Symptoms#the truth of the matter is i'm not very creative and i'm mediocre at art and writing#and i may act like i understand music and music theory but i don't#and i pretend to know a lot about metal but i really only know anything about aluminum and copper#and i act like i understand planets and stars and their relation to each other#and i think the worst one among all these things i pretend to be knowledgeable about is ethical philosophy.#i've really only taken two and the other philosophy classes i've taken i eked by on#genuinely don't know how i passed my logic course so much of that goes over my head#i like acting clever because it makes me feel better about the simple fact i'm not really skilled at anything#most of the time when people ask me things i supposedly know i do a quick google search and just rephrase it#do i think this makes me a bad person? no.#it just makes Me feel bad#and honestly who Doesn't like the idea of being smart#and tbh is experiencing that Youngest Child Inadequacy which is t fair to my brother at all but oh baby when that sneaks up on you#anyways i don't really have anyone i can talk to about this stuff#i mean i do but i don't like burdening people with my vents so i use my blog sometimes as a journal#negative/#tbd.
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I have had a lot of thoughts on the original story after listening to the Sherlock&Co "Gloria Scott" and a new headcanon just dropped.
Chapter 1: part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5 - part 6
Masterpost (Index)
AO3
thoughts, if you're curious:
As far as gay Victor Trevor absolutely got me, I don't think there was anything serious between him and Holmes. This all comes down to my reading of Holmes, who is (to me) too aroace-spec to get involved in a regular relationship (althouuuughh about Holmes, his sexual and romantic orientation and him discovering it I have had so many thoughts I could write a whole essay). He likes to have a default person though, someone who will take him as he is, and maybe even admire a little - now that's Watson, earlier it was Trevor.
And yea I think Victor got a crush straight away after their first meeting, maybe they even talked about this at some point. Maybe Holmes said that he won't be able to reciprocate this affection but if Victor is fine with keeping things as they are, then he is too. I like to think they stayed pen friends even after Trevor's leave.
I feel like I should emphasize this? My intention in the comic was to make Trevor visibly flustered because he didn't expect a young attractive boy (he's hopeless in my head), while Holmes simply didn't expect to see someone his age and so sincerely sorry.
#i feel like i lost the ability to write meta for my drawings you know#the irrational feeling that i'll get misinterpreted if i don't explain everything thoroughly is taking over#truly horrible#also my imposter syndrome is full on lately in terms of my art so ughh it's so hard to share anything#at least i don't think anyone even sees my sh art so i may ramble in the tags here an noone notices :3#my art#sherlock holmes#victor trevor#acd holmes#acd canon#sherlock holmes fanart#i am rotating young holmes in my mind lately#oh yes and i made victor a botanist and named his dog dante for no apparent reasons#holmes collage adventures
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ALSO WHAT THE HELL WHY ARE THERE 1200 OF YOU HERE????
#THANK YOU BUT WHAT š#maybe it's the imposter syndrome maybe it's The Tism but huh??????????#how did I miss this???#do I have a party???? do I call bella hadid???#no seriously though I neglect to look at the follow count bc...yeah but OH MY GOD????
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Exhibiting Illegal Amounts of Cuteness // Kit just wanted to touch the funny little shredded ear, but is caught off guard by how cute he's come to find his bf
#Sails gave me diabetes with his lil pose. bruh what are you trying to do to me!!#the premise was me wanting to draw Kit making the O_O face he did in Imposter Syndrome (?) when Surge knocks Starline over or w/e#it came out a bit over the top for the situation but oh well#got some doodles of Sails being a precious being out of it so it's all good#kit the fennec#kitsunami#sails tails#kittails#kisails#someplace au
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,
#started typing out a long soppy post as iām emotional rn but decided otherwise#i just want to say thank you to the community really#this is by far the nicest community i have ever had the pleasure of being part of#and iāve always had imposter syndrome i guess and other fandoms only amplified that and made me feel beyond useless#and iāve always had the misfortune of only being known as ā[person]ās friendā or ā[person]ās mutualā etc#and never as just my own person i guess#and i kind of got used to that? i got used to people only communicating with me to get to someone else - usually someone with more clout-#or followers or whatever#and ngl part of that still fucking stings#and is partly why i joined this community completely anonymous#like i am just anonymous community member fitpacs with nothing more than pronouns#and the fact i have managed to make friends and connections in this community even with that - it astounds me#and it means the absolute fucking world#iāve never had the feeling of complete acceptance in an online sphere (iāve dealt with irl aspects in therapy dw im fine)#so i just want to say thank you for accepting me wholly and completely in this community (q/smpblr/ratinhos/huevitos)#i honestly wasnāt expecting the warm welcome because of past fandoms#and i donāt know how ive managed to have such a wholesome experience honestly but thank you#thank you for reading my fics and my shitposts and sending kind anons (remember āfitpacs appreciation dayā?!)#just thank you for accepting me for me and not expecting anything in return#i may regret posting this tomorrow but oh well#thank you for accepting anonymous community member fitpacs and expecting nothing in return - it means the world to me and then some
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is it possible to work on your thesis without feeling like a failure at least once a week? experts are saying "no"
#OH BABY. the imposter syndrome is syndroming#previously my issue was i was doing too much. and it was such a relief when my advisor said to do less#but now i'm like ''fuck but what if this isn't enough''#what if i start working on my topic once the proposal is done and there's not enough material to analyze!!!!!#what if i run away into the woods and am never seen again.
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Good luck with crit!! If nothing you've got a bunch of unqualified Tumblr people who love your comics, but I'm sure you'll do great :)
guys i was stressed for literally no reason she looked me dead in the eyes and told me that the comic i turned in was better than some published books and that i should be sending it to publishers. i almost cried
#i was like this is what i want to do for the rest of my life and she was like good. iām shaking so hard rn oh my fucking god#art school imposter syndrome defeated forever and ever i am going to lose my absolute mind#help me#personal
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I got one of your dolls recently and am very excited! But how does it feel to send them out? Is it mentally just a business transaction or is it kind of sad? Or is it happy?
Thank you so much anon!!
Honestly, the most fun part of the dolls to me is the process of making them! I have kept a handful of my dolls, but the satisfaction of finishing them up far outweighs the satisfaction of having them up on the shelf. I'm pretty happy that people love my work enough to buy it!
#though sometimes the imposter syndrome kicks in and im like oh god theyre gonna hate this and then i get scared#strangeasks#strangetext
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the thing with discoveries is that honestly it's always a long process
#aesop answers#my poetry#the great ace attorney#tgaa#susato mikotoba#ryutaro naruhodo#oh susato your gender AND imposter syndrome
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Sometimes, when I'm playing Among Us with my friends, I start to doubt whether or not I'm playing it right. Like...am I actually supposed to be doing tasks right now? What if I'm supposed to be killing people
I think I've got imposter syndrome
#this is based on a true story btw#i just had a moment in the middle of fixing wires#and went oh so this is that imposter syndrome everyone talks about
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ok actually itās insane that being shoved into someone elseās body and role didnāt give shen yuan crazy imposter syndrome. i donāt even feel like i should be at the university im paying to attend, and you expect me to believe this guy can steal someone elseās life and be fine?! no way
#me reading the beginning of svsss: oh yeah imposter syndrome angst#svsss: everhthing except for imposter syndrome angst#tsvsss#svsss#the scum villain's self saving system#scum villains self saving system#bingqiu
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āiāve done all this work and iām not really in pain, i must be faking itā
i say as a slide down the stairs because it hurts too much to walk down
#seriously this happens all the time#oh i just be faking it#as i am in debilitating pain#disabled#disability#actually disabled#chronic illness#chronically ill#chronic pain#disabled life#imposter syndrome
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also in self discussion reflecting on my imposter syndrome and anxiety i remembered how my mom passed up a really incredible surgical fellowship because she didnt think she was good enough. and how she never told her mentor about it and still regrets that it estranged them decades later. how fucked up is that. she lost an opportunity to do more training that she loved and reach a stratospheric point in an already competitive specialty and she sabotaged it for herself and lost a respected mentor in the process because she never told him why she passed up on that chance. because of literally the exact same thing that I'm going through now. she retired early because the anxiety was killing her even though she was constantly the #1 ranked physician in her practice and she LOVED her job and was GOOD at it. she'd come home every day convinced that everyone thought she was a horrible person. and now she's going crazy with boredom and lack of meaningful work at home! she talks about herself so negatively and honestly it's sad and tiring to hear.
I never put it together how Im having the exact same struggles that she was.. I dont want to end up the same way. I want to get help. If I rise or fall i want it to be on my own merits and not any warped and self-effacing self-perception. I dont know if I can be my own ally but I can try not to be my own enemy
#to delete#resident good#had a literal urethra moment. like Oh my god this is EXACTLY what my mom was talking about#when she casually dropped that lore into a convo a few years ago#she couldve ended up in like the top 1% of physician compensation cutting edge stuff doing work she loved and was objectively really good a#but she has SO much untreated anxiety and poor self-esteem and pervasive imposter syndrome#shes literally constantly like 'i was a dumb bunny' MAAM YOU WENT TO 2 IVY LEAGUES. I DONT CARE IF IT WAS IN THE 70S. YALE IS YALE!!
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might take a medieval studies class next semester cuz i'm crazyyyy
#will this be helpful in my career? who knows#but these super technical library classes are sooo boring š#i need to get my humanities fix#although i think rn i'm forgetting how bad the imposter syndrome feels hehe#this will be an opportunity to demonstrate GROWTH! i am no longer the shy scared undergrad afraid to voice her opinion!!#we'll see if im even allowed to take it though#(should've emailed the advising office about it earlier but oops oh well)#p
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do you have any tips on how to start writing fics?
the outsiders brainrot actually has me coming up with ideas and i have a desire to start writing them into actual stories but i've never written outside of class papers/assignments and i don't really know where/how to start since it's all just my own prompts and ideas and there's no grading rubric lmaoooo
like do you plan out each fic with a list first or do you just start writing about the main plot point of the chapter and fill in out of order or do you just start writing and see where it takes you... do you do any research while you're planning or pull from other authors/fics/posts or write from experience...
how do you decide when to stop writing or decide on which endings/paths/plot points to go with... the deadly combo of indecisiveness and perfectionism along with having no guidelines or due dates is crippling me so im asking some of my fav authors (who have also been inspiring me to write and be creative)
wait hi this is so sweet thank you!!! š„¹š„¹ i will preface All This (sorry i yapped so much lol) by. iāve been writing fic for like ten years and i think a lot of my old fic, while deeply cringe and awful, was all very important to getting me where i am today where i feel i can accurately get across what im trying to say!!!
first. hone your ideas!!! try to find a good niche you feel comfortable in (but also. donāt limit your creativity!!!). idk for me itās easier to start specific and small rather than super general bc then i have Tooooo much freedom u know. i think my niche sorta across fandoms is generally softer dialogue, exploring close siblings or familial or friendship bonds an dynamics through situation, a lot of fluff, maybe a lil hurt comfort
i basically exclusively write in order! unless i get a really cool line/paragraph in my head that i write out and save for later to fit in somewhere. i usually have a like one-line idea that just Comes to me (ex. this was my entire line idea that turned into that pony getting jumped fic!)
then iāll expand it a little more into a shitty little paragraph (ex. hereās a few!!!)
and then tbh after that i just kinda write everything in order from top to bottom from there. i wish i were more organized tbh and writing long fic/chaptered stuff is still sooo hard for me (which is why i donāt do it much yet lol) but im really trying to break out of it!! slowly we are learning!!! retaining the inspo and drive necessary to write that much is harddddd lmfao
before writing i always do have a solid idea where i want it to start and go and end though. like that ponyboy jumping fic i Knew i wanted to have pony get jumped in the opening scene, then go home, try to break down cutting his own hair, brothers come in and talk him down and it ends with talking abt johnny, even if i didnāt like. List that all out in words in a document.
definitely do research!!! espppp for outsiders bc it was like 60 years ago!!! well researched fics are soooo obviously tonally different and itās always super obvious imo when that sort of care is put into ur writing. that fic i wrote about darry getting a panic attack was important researching bc panic attacks werenāt well known or researched or even Called panic attacks back then, so itād be hella jarring seeing like 1967 13y/o pony whip out āyouāre having a panic attack darry š¤šā yk lmfaoo
i SOO get the perfectionism and having no due dates thing btw. i have literally like 5 fics iāve started and not finished in my docs rn with like 15 more ideas i wanna write someday. tbh! try to enter that Hyperfixation Zone and be really excited about what youāre making!!! helps it go by easier bc i swear sometimes iāll write fic and it feels like pulling teeth even though itās supposed to be fun!!!
last thing. try and find friends to bounce ideas off of and go crazy with you <3 or ppl to beta read!!! makes writing SO much easier and sm more fun having a your own lil personal cheerleader!!! if you ever need a beta id be soooo happy to read whatever youāve got and hype u up!!! <3 i hope this helped at least a little bit LOL my writing process is kinda chaotic ngl
#the outsiders#this was so nice š„¹š„¹š„¹#thank u for reading my silly lil fics <33#i always think they sound so goofy (imposter syndrome is crazyyyy) but stuff like this makes me sooosjsbsksdjw <3333333#asks#oh also forgot to say but i donāt tend to look to other authors really esp regarding fic concepts#lots of ppl inspire me but imo itās just too easy to accidentally read things and then plagiarize or copy ideas even if you donāt mean to!#just be careful of that LOL#just use my good ol imagination 98% of the time!
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FULL 78 CARD ENGAGE TAROT DECK HAS PRE-ORDERS OPEN! ISN'T THAT SO COOL?! CLOSES 2.4.23!
i drew kagetsu! can you guess which card he is.... hee hee
#fire emblem#tarot#kagetsu#oh my god what an honor it was to be accepted TT_TT#the other artists are SOOO amazing i had such bad imposter syndrome lol#please consider checking us out and/or supporting us!#fire emblem engage#fe engage#kagetsu fire emblem#kagetsu fe
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