#oh shit i caught feelings

[toastedpumpkin]

“Because! Because…ah fuck, fine – because I want you to think I’M pretty. I know it’s stupid ok! I know. I’m the one who gets time with you. I get snapchat streaks and playlists and boba. I get trampoline parks and laser tag and weekend trips. All she gets is “pretty”. And I wouldn’t trade any of that for ANYTHING. If I had to choose, I’d choose this, us, our friendship, every single time. It shouldn’t even bother me, I get so much more than ‘pretty’ when I’m with you I just–”

“Pretty?”, he whispers. “You don’t think I think you’re ‘pretty?’”

“That. That is why I didn’t want to tell you. I don’t need you to give me pity compliments, I’ll be fine, I promise. It’s dumb to be upset over something that little anyway. Who cares if you think I’m pretty as long as we’re still friends ok? Can we please talk about something else?”

“Ok first of all, I didn’t know my complimenting her bothered you so much and I’m sorry. I won’t bring it up again. Second, no we absolutely can not talk about something else. Lily you are pretty, but I don’t bring it up for a few reasons. A, your importance to me is so much greater than my finding you attractive. B, I know people in your past have made you feel like beauty is all you had to offer and I never wanted you to feel that with me. C, we’re friends and that friendship is one of the very most important things in my life and I would never want to risk it by touching topics that could complicate it.”

“Well…thank you. That makes–”

“I’m not done. Lily, you are gorgeous. I mean just insanely beautiful. You don’t seem to know it either, at least not the extent of the effect you have. But guys glare at me when we’re out together. More than just Nathan have come up to me at work about you. Customers have asked about you. Remember that one time you asked if I’ve ever had a hard time talking to you? Uh duh, of course I have. Do you remember how shy I was at first? How we didn’t talk much? You were so genuinely nice I eventually got over it but don’t think for a second it doesn't take most of my concentration to hold a conversation, especially when you look me in the eye. I could get lost in your eyes for eternity. Every time you’d look up from your work, see me, and smile, my heart stopped. The fact that I, even for a moment, could make you happy made my heart skip a beat. Looking at you is like looking at the sun. You’re radiant and drop dead gorgeous and you’re my best friend and I would NEVER trade that friendship for something more if it meant even the possibility of losing you so under any other circumstances I would never be admitting this. But I can’t let you think I don’t think you’re pretty because you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen and no one else- not Evie, not anyone- can hold a candle to you.”

[queerdraws]

it's zoro's birthday!! happy birthday big guy, may you say many more insane things to your enemies in the coming years

[holy-reference-in-a-username]

TW: gore, vomiting

welp. angst time.

come on. you can't go through something that traumatic, both gaining and losing superpowers in a *single day*, and expect to be totally fine.

+ bonus sketches :3

[screechingfromthevoid]

so when Dorian said he always felt like someone was protecting him and now he gets to protect someone else Orym was like "good im glad he knew this whole time"

AND THEN ASHTON OPENED THEIR FUCKING MOUTH. SAYING "YEAH WELL I WISH THEY WERE HERE TONIGHT" ASHTON. YOU ARE MAKING ORYM CRY.

like fr Orym looked so hurt and destroyed when Ashton started up on that. Because Orym has been trying to protect everyone he loves since he couldn't protect Will and now Dorian is leaving. And Orym probably didn't blame himself BEFORE Ashton started talking.

But he sure as shit blames himself now

[transfemkaladin]

final thoughts on wind and truth:

it was kind of mid. like it was Fine but it felt a lot weaker than the others yaknow

i like adolin, okay? i like shallan as well. i like them a LOT. but their povs (also jasnah’s and dalinar’s) just kind of. dragged a little for me?

kaladins therapist arc was fun (he gave therapy to a talking sword. on ACCIDENT. that’s fucking hilarious) but felt a little unsatisfying. the whole time he was talking with szeth i felt frustrated bc like. idk

and don’t even get me STARTED on the “‘no,’ kaladin said. ‘im his therapist’” line. that bit was ASS. it broke the tone and tension of the scene unnecessarily, in a way that hindered rather than enhanced the storytelling, and for what. an unfunny joke.

by the way. for a book that was theoretically supposed to focus on szeth i really wish it had done more of that. yeah he got more pov chapters and stuff but also i came away. not knowing nearly as much about shinovar as i would’ve liked. which is a personal preference thing (maybe i just liked elid a lot tbh. i do think she should’ve gotten at least one pov chapter)

oh THATS what it was. the only outside perspective we really got of szeth was kaladin’s. i think seeing how szeth was perceived by others while living in shinovar would’ve been a good addition.

ishar’s plotlines felt unsatisfying as well. like all that shit with torturing spren and putting them into physical bodies, and then it was just written off as “oh yeah that was just part of his insanity 👍”. like yeah it was but i wish it had gone somewhere

GAVINOR. the loose end of all time to me. what the fuck happened to him after the duel. does he remember his secret handshake with lift.

i miss navaniel. toxic yuri please come back to me. with sadalinar and navaniel and kalmoash all gone and kaladin and shallan healing there’s no one to be toxic and insane anymore. it’s just taravangian. we need more interpersonal problems we need more people sabotaging and fucking shit up for no reason

im also sad abt the venli povs bc she was one of my favorite povs in past books. but then in this one she was just There. where is her conflict. she didn’t even swear an ideal or anything.

tbh i think that’s probably my main problem with the book. the plotlines were all interesting and i liked getting to know more about shinovar (and i never really cared about szeth before so im glad we got to know him more!) but it all just felt like it was kind of There. maybe it was bc of the short timeframe but everything just kinda Dragged a little and everyone was kind of There. there’s only so far you can stretch the tension on that contest of champions, and when you spend over 1300 pages covering ten days? everything starts to feel a little like a filler episode.

also a lot of things just felt kind of underwhelming. the truth behind the recreance? eh. the stormfather being tanavast? eh. chana being shallan’s mom? eh. this was probably bc of the tension problem at least a little though

to be clear, i didn’t hate it. there was a lot i enjoyed- it’s just that the parts i enjoyed weren’t really given as much narrative emphasis, and the short timeframe of the story made my sense of pacing weird.

[poyitjdr]

Decided to try out some new oil brushes with the disaster man

[epickiya722]

It still boggles my mind that Sukuna went into the final fight against Yuji and the others knowing he was Yuji's uncle.

That man went into fighting Yuji with that information and then killed the last family member Yuji had that genuinely cared about him.

[noperopesaredope]

Me watching the prequel movies: "Padme's alright, but she's kind of boring and I don't care for her that much."

Me watching Clone Wars: "Padme Amidala could dropkick me, step on my neck, and spit in my face, and I would thank her. She is so cool and smart and I want to be her and also maybe be her assistant. She's a savvy politician who believes in peace but is not afraid to shoot a bitch if needed. Revenge of the Sith Anakin doesn't deserve her."

[feroluce]

So I went to the wiki page for the henghill Bullet & Brain mission of 2.2 looking for some dialogue I had missed and

a) I found something incredibly tasty that slotted into some other thoughts I'd been having, more on that on another day, and

b) I saw this super fun little trivia at the bottom, which!

I knew Penacony characters like Boothill took a lot of inspirations from old movies, but I didn't realize it was even in his and Dan Heng's relationship, that's so cool!!

It fits them very well, it's such a fun reference. "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid" was an old buddy Western film (from 1969- nice) about a pair of outlaws. Butch Cassidy was the leader of a gang, and described as clever, affable, and talkative. Meanwhile, his closest companion, the Sundance Kid, was known as a man of few words.

Cassidy's original birth name was much more plain, but similar to Boothill, he took on a new moniker when he became an outlaw. "Cassidy" had been the last name of his beloved mentor, who taught him how to shoot and ride. And Sundance Kid was known as he was because Sundance was the name of his hometown, and it was the only place that had ever managed to catch and jail him, back when he'd been younger (also similar to Dan Heng, but ouch).

These two stick together like glue throughout the length of the film- through Cassidy's leadership of the gang being challenged, through a train robbery gone wrong, through being pursued by mercenaries, and even through fleeing to Bolivia and trying to start over together.

I don't want to say too much more, since the mission title is referencing one specific movie that I've never seen. I kinda wanna watch it now, though, just to see the inspiration that went into Boothill and Dan Heng and how they get along. I just think it's really sweet that these two were literally made to be the best of bros, how lovely is that. 💕

[goldeneyedgirl]

Ficmas24 Day 10: Demon Jasper

And we're right back on track. Well, ficmas-wise. I'll let y'all know when my life begins to look less like a Collection of Clowns and Buffoons.

Tonight, we've got the bewilderingly popular Demon Jasper (I feel like maybe I flew too close to some Booktok tropes with this one, lol). The sequel actually has a pretty intense plot lined up, and some of that is kind of hinted at in this section. Demon Jasper loves an opportunity to Emote, so he went wild in this little section.

And we have one more night unfilled at this point, so the Ask box remains open. If there is any verse that hasn't had it's moment (or I've promised something and forgotten), now is your time to mention it. We've got 3some-verse and STLAU P.2 still to come, so any other 'verse than those.

I hope you enjoy and have a grerat night!

warning some very vague sexual content. We're here for the sexual vibes not the content tonight.

Over the weeks, the need to sleep haunts him. It’s something that makes him slow and sluggish, makes the darkness bubble up from that void in the back of his mind. He tries to put it off, tries to stay awake longer, pouring over the books that Alice acquires for him.

She watches, but stays silent. He hates that she’s so good at giving him space, at letting him dictate the rules and boundaries of their relationship. He wants someone who pushes and annoys and bothers him, so he can yell and rage and threaten. He wants to be able to scare her away from him.

He only gives in to sleep when his demon form seeps out uncontrollably, like ink spreading down his arms, and the cracks begin to form along his biceps and jaw. It’s his body demanding recovery, and it’ll break him into pieces to get what it wants if it must.

So he gives in.

//

He dreams of her almost every single time and he hates every moment of it.

Pale and beautiful and willing. Who kisses him like she’s begging him. He dreams of them tangled up in bed together; of tracing every joint on her body with his tongue as a vampire and as a demon. The picture his brain paints is glorious, of his black tongue lapping at the bone-white of her skin.

She doesn’t flinch away from his form in the dream. She begs him to come closer.

(He knows that it’s just the void in his being that summons these dreams. It’s like having a second thing living inside him, a shadow-self that knows every iota of him and uses it all against him.)

Alice breaks him in the dream. A pretty pout and whispered negotiations as she rolls her hips against his. Anything you want he tells her reverently, and the bloody runes of creation rise on her skin as soon as he agrees to remake her. There’s no pain in the dream, no horror; just all the blood that sustains her spilling from those wounds around them. It smells like her, like flowers and ink and tainted honey, beneath the metallic tang of blood.

She’s going to be perfect. She is perfect. She was always meant to be this creature. The devil in his head whispers reverently.

He closes his eyes as she moves above him, trying not to make a sound even when his hips stutter against hers. But her name slips out, a hiss of pleasure and relief and adoration. Alice.

“Jasper.” There’s an answer in a sigh of delight, her face buried against him before she pulls away, leaving him cold.

When he opens his eyes, she’s smirking down at him; eyes blackened and rotting outwards, her lips welling with blood as she rejects the change and begins to die. Three days of slowly curdling and breaking down until there’s nothing left and he has to burn her.

That’s when he wakes up, when the hopelessness feels like it’s choking him so bad it’s a noose around his neck. At the realization of his weakness and what the wreckage could look like. That anything he looks at, he’s going to destroy. That the evil and the power inside him, the thing that Maria made him into, will swallow everything and anything that might bring him peace whole.

He can’t look at Alice after those dreams. The shame is too much.

(Not just the change and the death. The way he pictures her bare and laughing in his bed; the way his mind has conjured up how they would touch each other, how eagerly she accepted his touch… it’s not right. She’s been good to him, she doesn’t deserve that kind of disrespect.)

//

“I keep dreaming of you being remade like me,” he says gruffly, and she freezes before carefully sitting down beside him. He’s still not used to the way she dresses at the house; when he still dwelt in human society, everyone was covered up. But Alice, she wears garments that leave her arms, legs and stomach bare unless she’s hunting. He hates that it’s so distracting to him; it’s like she’s walking around missing a layer of vital armor to protect her from the rest of the world. And he hates, so very much, the idea that she trusts him enough to let her guard down in such a way. That he’s someone she can show this version of herself to. He’s seen her dress and leave for hunting or to stock up on the few regular supplies they need. Jeans, sweaters, jackets, boots that give her a couple of extra inches. She looks like an entirely different creature, a different woman, when she goes out into the real world.

There’s a thin scar, shallow, on her right thigh. She teases at it for a moment, as they sit in silence.

“You don’t have to worry, Jas,” she says kindly, and he’s oddly touched at the use of a nickname. “I know it’s hard for you to believe me, but I don’t want that. I don’t need that. That’s never something I’m going to ask you for.”

He wants to believe her. But if there’s nothing else that he’s learnt over his long life, it’s that everyone has a price. Everyone has a point where they forget their ethics and morals and beliefs, and they finally say yes. It’s just that some people come cheaper than others.

“Every single time, it goes wrong,” he says, as if she hasn’t spoken. “Every single time, I watch you get remade and you are perfect, you are gorgeous, and you’re the only thing I want. That…that piece that’s missing, that every single cell in my body and my mind is determined to find.”

He hears her breath catch but he doesn’t acknowledge it. “It’s…sublime. And then I look at you and it’s… I’ve destroyed you. I got it wrong and you’re already going bad and I either have to watch you breakdown and go rabid and rotten for three fuckin’ days, or I put you down myself. Because it does go bad, Alice. There are the ones that don’t make it through the process, that don’t even make it fair enough to be changed.

"And then there are the ones that do, they hold it together long enough to become this but they’re all wrong. The darkness chews them up, there’s nothing left of them. I’ve put down more than a few people who ended up like that. Not just Maria’s people. Strays, forgotten bodies, abandoned projects. They aren’t meant to last longer than three days, but sometimes they hold themselves together. There’s no way to save them, you understand? They’re already dead, and it’s just… evil squatting in a corpse.”

Her hand rests gently against his, and he’s surprised it is actually comforting.

“Of all the people that have ever come looking for me, you are the only one that does not deserve that fate,” he finishes hoarsely.

“Oh, Jasper.” Alice is looking at him with wide eyes, and he can feel the sadness leaking out of her. She’s still holding his hand. “Did I ever tell you how I found you?”

“You told me that you left your family to find me,” Jasper looks at her, and maybe he shifts his hand and curls his fingers slightly to almost-hold onto her hand. She’s wearing a ring; silver with a blue stone. It’s a colour that he associates with her; many of her clothes are a similar shade.

“I did. It took me years. I had to do a lot of research because I couldn’t see you and I didn’t know how to use my gift to find you. Thirty years of going from place to place, looking for a clue to find you. Anyone who knew me before would be shocked that I could live out of one bag for that long, somewhere the Cullens have all my things in storage.” She smiles at that to herself. “I went everywhere, and it led me to two places - the Vatican, where I wasn’t even going to attempt to gain access. I couldn’t even see if I would find what I was looking for, which makes me very curious about what they have in those archives.

“And Volterra.”

He tenses at that, dread sinking in. Volterra.

“Aro kept me busy for years and had a surprising amount on the subject of demons. A lot of them were partial accounts, especially around the rituals of creation and summoning.” Alice let out a sigh. “But the anthropological information was thorough. I know about the rituals and how badly they can go. I know that there is a level of fear, a level of pain, a level of evil I cannot comprehend. But you cannot surprise me with the depths of what you are. I know. And I was never afraid, because it wasn’t my world and it’s never going to be my world - ever since I woke up, I’ve never, ever seen myself as a demon. Even after I found you, that vision has never changed. You have me as I am. I have you as you are. That’s how it’s going to be, and I don’t care how long it takes you to understand that.”

She rests her head against his shoulder for a moment.

“Thanks for calling me gorgeous.” The strand of mischief runs through her, and he scoffs.

“You’re a monster, that’s what you are.”

“But your monster.” She looks up at him, her eyes a burnished amber colour, and her lips twisting into a playful smirk.

And that’s it. That moment with her smiling at him. That’s his girl, his sublime horror, his missing piece. The girl who will kiss him like the only man she’s ever seen in her life, who lets him sweep her into his arms and his bed and never flinches at the sight of his monstrosity.

It feels like, in that moment, the world has cracked open and he doesn’t know what to do. She doesn't have to be anything more than she is to be that missing piece, if you let her.

It felt easier to hate her and mistrust her than it does to love her.

//

He sees it out of the corner of his eye; his second-sight, the one that only usually kicks in when he’s transformed. Just for a second, but it was enough to make his blood run cold.

Alice, stretching as she walks through the house, her t-shirt riding up a few careless inches. And it’s there, a wound (time is ephemeral in his second-sight; it could be past-present-future. It simply Is.) A wound from one of his kind, incisors having sunk into her side. The bite is easily as wide as his hand, the scars dead and angry grey, with venom seeping outwards in black strands.

The sight is gone in a second and Alice is fine. She hasn’t noticed anything.

(She wouldn’t See it coming either; the shape of the incisors means someone on the spectral side of the demon pantheon, who are known for their ability to hide. He doesn’t understand how one of them would get close enough to her to bite like that. They aren’t easily provoked, something Alice says or does… or knows will trigger their rage.)

His chest feels tight. It won’t kill her, he knows that - he won’t allow it. But she’s going to suffer. She’s going to be hurt. And he has no idea how to stop it.

[journeyman-tier-fibercraft]

Cast on the most boring shawl project I've ever willingly put on the needles twice. The first one turned out so pretty I couldn't resist a larger version. (Ravelry Pattern)

The Original was knit pre this tumblr blog with two different flavours of the 150gram Lion Brand Mandala yarn, the lighter colour being a pastel rainbow and the darker colour was a saturated rainbow. This time I have two of the 300gram Mandala yarns, the lighter is Giant and the darker is Chimera.

I had to gut the Giant to get the colour order mostly similar, but other than that I'm not going to mess with it, if they get wildly off track of eachother I'll just live with it. Hoping since this is mostly mindless knitting (with the regular annoyance that is chevrons) I'll actually like. work on it.

[bibiana112]

I am still unclear if this is appropriate timing or if we good or not lol

[savage-rhi]

*insert pink color here*

[mantisgodsdomain]

We ought to write more Pokemon fic some time. We want to recreate the Pokemon Manners/Human Manners cheat sheet that we made a few years ago we think that this site would like the Sliding Scale Of Politeness When Greeting A New Pokemon You've Never Met Before.

[jazzzzzzhands]

Isn't Painting Fun??

[theresamouseinmyhouse]

honestly one of the main reasons i personally (tho none of my business if anyone else does, you do whatever forever) cant ever jive with the hc steph is black or mixed or something other than white is based solely on the way she acted with her mom.