#oh oh oh oh oH OH OH OH OH OH

[ur-friendly-neighborhood-simp]

if somebody held a gun to my head & said "sing the barbie a fashion fairytale theme song word for word or ill shoot you" tell my mom ill be home in 5

[drbtinglecannon]

You should be able to rot in bed for 2, maybe 3 hours after waking up before it starts affecting what time it is. If I wake up at 8:30 and lie in bed for 2hr it should still be 8:30 when I get up

[zelkams-art]

in all timelines in all possibilities only you can show me this

[koobiie]

i feel strongly about this

[nikoisme]

I hate it when people ask me what genre of music i listen to because i genuinely have no clue. It's called Music I Like genre. The best genre out there

[boltlightning]

not watching severance and succession means i log on the day after an episode and everyone is like SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP THEYRE SO INSANE FOR THIS and the image cited is a man in a suit standing still in an otherwise blank, fluorescently-lit hallway. i'm happy for you guys or sorry that happened

[ladymariayuri]

what if she was called chappell bone and instead of a singer she was a necromancer who raised strong as fuck skeleton warriors

[demadogs]

this happened months ago. i cannot keep it in any longer. a while ago i went on a porn site ive never been to and it asked if i was over 18 and i misclicked and said no and it automatically sent me to google images of puppies and kittens. i still cannot get over how funny this is.

[cpericardium]

[nicomoon69]

the song made me giggle a lil as a trans guy

[lemonbubble]

me, eating a pile of nuts, cheese, and apple: mmmm tasty

the medieval peasant in my head watching me eat: thou knowst what would MAKETH this meal? dried fruits.

me, getting out the raisins: god damn, etheldred, you are SO right

the medieval peasant in my head: yet thou art still not heeding mine words regarding the blasphemy

[captainobviois]

Training my parents to be funnier

[sadclowncentral]

nearly had a medical emergency today because - and i cannot stress enough how little i am making this up - a helicopter landed in front of an open grain silo while i was getting off my ship and i am deathly allergic to the wheat that said helicopters rotor blades proceeded to blast in my face at full force. the cosmic forces are plotting against me ass situation to be in

[monstermonger]

I'm convinced mama dragons carry their babies around in their mouth for protection, like how crocodiles do...

[aleurain]

Okay. Here, have Jayce uhh... in this t-shirt

I got inspired by one particular reference AND this twixter post. I don't remember anything after. I'm sorry