#oh god is this gonna be my legacy

[demadogs]

this happened months ago. i cannot keep it in any longer. a while ago i went on a porn site ive never been to and it asked if i was over 18 and i misclicked and said no and it automatically sent me to google images of puppies and kittens. i still cannot get over how funny this is.

[elven-child]

"if you see goblins in fiction and immediately think about Jews you're the antisemitic one" do you all fucking idiots seriously believe that ignorance about stereotypes is what makes people LESS racist??

[localravenclaw]

I did another thing

I crossed

HIM and HIM

And got

HIM! ♡

Marcus Lopez (Deadly Class) × Sebastian Sallow

Screenshot by @shingodzilla98 ♡

[batsplat]

tired: 10 year anniversary of sepang 2015 next year

wired: 20th anniversary of jerez 2005

(we need to get gibernau on like oxley bom podcast or any other podcast which would ask great questions and won’t let him yap too much. come on guys please)

the establishment might forget but the streets (me and 2-4 anons on tumblr) won't

y'know it was kinda annoying when marc skipped the jerez presser this year because usually at least one enterprising soul asks some kind of jerez 2005-related question, just to remind everyone. just to check in whether they'd be interested in doing it again. because the journalists clearly absolutely loved it the first time, very much here for the drama of it all. so we had all those 2016-19 era pressers where marc and valentino were two guys who obviously hated each other but also had this fun legacy link. which gave all the other blokes in the room (riders and journalists alike) to just do a little round of 'yeah those two nutters', which marc and valentino are sometimes more sometimes less responsive to depending on the current vibes of the relationship. I miss it!! and I actually really like jerez 2005 for agenda purposes because it's like. the super flashy bit of the feud everyone remembers. so you have a big talking point that ensures nobody can ever QUITE forget sete's name... but also it misses out all the real juicy stuff and allows valentino to erase sete's story forever and ever, which we've established by now I'm basically supportive of

anyway I was thinking of the four year anniversary of jerez 2005, the first time since 2006 sete was actually in the paddock

and valentino gave an interview where he does talk about the race a little bit, which is also fun in the context of the brewing jorge rivalry

Q. For some people this is the 'real' start of the season, this is such a big grand prix for you isn't it. Valentino Rossi: I agree because Jerez is always fantastic. The track I like a lot but the atmosphere around the circuit is completely different compared to Qatar and Motegi. We hope also the weather will be different because we fight a lot against the water in the first two races! This time the forecast is okay, so it is possible to make a normal weekend, because the first two races of the season were very strange. Qatar, and also Motegi, it was difficult to work with the bike together with the new rules with less time on the track. So the test here was okay, I won a lot of times on this track and had big battles with Sete (Gibernau) and others. I think it is possible to do a bit better than the first two races, but anyway 40 points is so important, we are close to the top and we are happy with our performance.

it's really only the one battle he has with sete at the track!! not one of the tracks where they have several goes at it. but well. it was a memorable fight so we'll allow it

Q. You haven't won a race, but you are right in there as we come into Europe. That's very important isn't it? VR: Yes. Taking 40 points in the first two races is crucial for the championship, because of the strange situation. We have tried to make the best of it. I preferred the Motegi race compared to Qatar because I was just 1.3s behind the victory and it was a better fight and better to enjoy. In Qatar I was all alone in the race, in the night, so it was quite scary! For sure Jorge and Dani will have extra motivation in front of all their fans, but we try to fight.

"in qatar I was all alone in the race, in the night, so it was quite scary" shksdfh. he's not wrong though:

dire era. anyhow - if anything valentino gets exactly as much extra motivation from going to spain as the actual spaniards do, check out how he behaves every time he's fighting spaniards on their home soil

Q. You said in Japan, probably four people can win the championship this year. That's good isn't it? VR: Yes. I am in a good shape, Yamaha is so competitive and we work well with the team. I assumed already that Jorge, with more experience on the Bridgestone tyres, would come back and fight for victories. Stoner is always impressive and strong and Dani (Pedrosa) demonstrated in Japan that if his knee is fit then it is possible to battle every Sunday for the championship. So I think it will be very interesting going to the end. Q. We hear you are coming to the TT in the Isle of Man this year, what do you make of that? VR: Dainese organised it for me. For the motorcycle fan it is great to go to the TT one time to understand it. It is like something unreal when you see it on the television so I am very curious to understand it live, and what it means to be there.

"stoner is always impressive and strong" speak on it

Q. If you find yourself going into the last corner fighting for the lead with your team-mate Jorge Lorenzo, like you did racing against Sete in 2005, would you make the same manouvre? VR: With Sete, that race was unforgettable from the first lap we start to fight, but especially the last lap and a half it all happened. I was able to overtake on the last time and I took a small advantage but I made a small mistake on the back straight. Sete came back on me and we nearly touched at the hairpin before two or three overtakes to the last hairpin so it was not just one braking (manouvre). It was a very hard fight. If with Lorenzo it happens the same, then..... Yes. I want to say that time with Sete, I didn't enter in the corner to touch him. I entered to try and overtake and win the race, but unfortunately Sete doesn't crash and anyway he finished second. But anyway we are ready for a battle and we wait for the battle and if it's possible for a race with a rival at the same level like that time with Sete with three or four overtaking in the last lap. It was great. In the last lap - it was great. I think it was our sport. If you look at the races of ten years ago it happened 100 times in one race. I like to run like this. Sometimes you win sometimes you lose.

now I have to suspect somebody made a mistake here and valentino didn't ACTUALLY say "unfortunately sete doesn't crash" or he was joking or something. surely that was supposed to say "fortunately". I mean it'd be very funny if he said unfortunately

having watched this race a fair few times, I won't argue with vale that it was very much hard racing from the word go - and sete in particular is proper feisty on the first lap. obviously, that's still a teensy bit different from barrelling into someone at the final corner, but oh well. also, saying he didn't want to make contact... I mean, if you're making that move it was always going to happen. glad valentino's still enthusiastic about it!! he had a lot of fun!! and I'm sure by 2009 he was starting to miss that kind of fight lol

and yeah, the line "if with lorenzo it happens the same, then.... yes" is fantastic. he's very consistent on this - if yamaha wants to hire two teammates who can fight for the championship, then this is what they'll get out of it :) of course it makes it nicely pleasing that... well, the first visit to spain that year yielded valentino's first victory of the season, but jorge was a bit of a non-factor. (though valentino did execute a lovely final corner block pass on casey, important for the legacy.) but then the SECOND time they went to spain that year, you get the final corner catalunya shenanigans!! it means you have a bunch of 2009 quotes that already sound kinda vaguely foreshadow-y, including sete's fun little quote:

good luck jorge :) there's also plenty that gets said before and after the 2009 races that later became pretty funny in the context of jerez 2013. so there's just something cute about what a legacy that this one act of final corner terrorism has had on the entire sport, in a way that goes beyond the sete feud... let's not forget that a completely ubiquitous aspect of today's riding - dangling a leg when you're taking the corner - is generally believed to have originated at this race. let's not forget that during the infamous 2015 season, the sete rivalry was explicitly referenced at jerez that season to probe valentino's rivalry with marc. it's a move that still gets referenced every single year they return to jerez for a reason! it did so fifteen years ago, it will once again be so next year. long may it continue

[pommigranite]

me when people like my art posts: hey, hey no stop that

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

i just finished the archon quest

holy shit.

[doomordestiny]

THE RECORDING FROM CAPTAIN ROSE TO CHIP OH YOU’RE JOKING. im about to start sobbing ohhhmygod

“thanks for coming to look for us. i knew you would. take care chip” IM SO. GODDDD.

[escargon]

the space jam 2 post (spoilers)

Tl;Dr: there should have actually been conflict with the toons so that bugs relationship with them as his family could have been better explored as a parallel to LeBron James’ character. What we got was a contrived mess that did nothign for anyone and weakens the whole movie, also wasting everyones time.

My biggest gripe with this movie is the disconnect between the way Bugs is written and portrayed and the motivation given as to why he was abandoned at all. The first time Bugs is introduced he is alone, having been abandoned by the rest of the Tunes leaving for greener pastures within the Warner Brothers serververse. Bugs is not shown to have done anything that would warrant being abandoned, nowhere does the film imply explicit, deliberate coercion on the part of the antagonist in separating his friends from him nor does it even use the visual medium of the pictures shown on the screen that they were unhappy in the Toon World and/or the “franchise worlds” they are gratuitously animated into.

According to Bugs, the messaging being given to them was that they were “wasting their time” living in the toon world. What that means is unclear, leading to a very weird scene where the entire cast sans Bugs is implied to have left of their own free will and on some level were nondescriptly dissatisfied with life in their own world. There are so many things to be said about the IP shoving garbage that is the entire runtime of this movie, but this is the part that makes the least sense to me. I think they were going for “representation of the future thinks the Looney Tunes are outdated,” but that comes across only after careful deliberation and is barely there in the actual text of the movie.

The audience and the characters themselves are given nothing other than “serververse cool” as a reason for these characters to leave Bugs, and also no indication anywhere that there is something stopping them from coming back. There is no barrier to entry in these words but transport, which historically has been very easy in Looney Tunes and from how easy it was to bait Marvin and steal his ship, easily could have been done at any time. And then, all the other characters do throughout the serververse is play “recognize the IP dress up.”

There was no reason for Bugs to stay there alone going mad unless it was some sort of self-imposed exile because he failed his friends, or there was the aforementioned barrier to entry to and from Toon world (which doesn’t seem to exist). Addressing the former, what would be the reason for that? Bugs has done literally nothing. He has done nothing wrong. Nothing worth cutting him off. Nothing.  All he did was choose not to leave his home. The actual presented stakes of this situation are so bizarrely void of any meaning when there is no reason for them to be separated or get back together at all other than “Warner Brothers is making a new Space Jam movie,” and even then they don’t make any sense at all, and the emotional stakes the co-lead to this movie could have had are so contrived and nonsensical they had to introduce a life-or-death element one hour in because none of the other characters or the story itself are actually responding to the emotional journey the performance (given by the combination of the voice actor and the animators, I know Bugs Bunny isn’t really there) is trying to convey.

This movie is fucking awful and confused and there’s not enough thought put into the emotional journey of Bugs Bunny, and this is mostly just a thought dump as to why. I genuinely believe I thought more about the plot of this movie than the writers did, and I watched it for the first time literally 26 hours ago. At least Back in Action had the decency to only be an hour and a half long and has interesting character moments with Bugs and Daffy (who was done. So fucking dirty by Space Jam 2) despite having a lot of the same problems as this movie, weirdly enough.

[boomerang109]

just saw a video that was like “do you even know who your grandfather’s father was?” YES?! i KNEW him! he died when i was 16!!!

[lycianlynx]

// [quietly souping up my theme ahead of time]

[a-story-teller]

Had another dream story idea and it's BAD out here y'all. My subconscious said "you don't go for sad old white men yaoi? Well here's one and you have to care about it so much. Good luck"

[luvvyouforever]

headcanons : harry potter boys x keeper!reader

↳ harry, ron, draco, neville, fred, george, remus, and sirius with a partner who can wield ancient magic (hogwarts legacy style).

↳ requests are open! submit ideas, drabbles, headcanons, or one shots to the link in my bio! don’t be shy <3

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

harry potter:

-thinks it is the coolest shit ever! when you're in a fight together and you protect him by shooting a powerful blue bolt towards the enemy that disintegrates their very beginning, he feels so proud to be your partner!

-on the other side, he also knows it feels like to have a lot of pressure and power on your side. he worries about what it must feel like to wield ancient magic and be the only living person who can see it. every time you use it, he checks on you after, ensuring that you don't feel too exhausted and can continue fighting.

-supported you so much through the trials. he didn't need to know every detail of what you did and went through but he would hold you so tight when you came back, praising you over and over for being so strong and brave.

ron weasley:

-he's a little jealous, ngl. like his partner can use this sick magic and is responsible for keeping the magic safe and alive out of the wrong hands?? why can't he do that???

-i also feel like ron would be confused, if not a little angry, that you refuse to share the power and attempt what others have before (such as isidora using the magic to remove pain). he doesn't really understand the problem and feels like the keepers are suspicious.

-he'd brag about you alllllll the time though! like oh my god every second he would find some way to bring up the fact that you can do really awesome things and that you are his awesome partner forever!

draco malfoy:

-draco loves you a lot and finds your magic incredibly cool, don't get me wrong, but i think his family swayed his pursuit of you because wouldn't it be so grand if the malfoys had a keeper in their family? someone so powerful and knowledgeable? who would pass down the truth and their magic? yes please! (every time narcissa brings it up, it irks draco but also he pats himself on the shoulder for choosing you)

-wants to know every detail about the trials and the past and the memories you're viewing! you'll come back from a trial, sweaty and tired, maybe bleeding, and he'd help you first then ask hundreds of questions after.

-your use of ancient magic is not necessarily unknown and makes you quite popular among the students of hogwarts. this, however, makes draco really jealous. if he could, he would follow you everywhere, glaring down anyone who tries to make a move on you. before you go on adventures, classes, or just to the common room, he'll drape you in his slytherin scarf as if he was marking you.

neville longbottom:

-poor thing gets so nervous when you have to complete the trials or do something incredibly important for the sake of keeping the magic safe. he knows he can't go along with you but he'd stay by your side until the very moment you enter the map chamber, whispering praises and support the whole time.

-would heal up all your wounds and take care of you if you exerted too much during a fight. he knows how much everyone depends on you and the least he can do is take care of you properly! he would run you a bath, apply soothing balms to your skin or use his plants to heal you up, and cuddle you tightly!

-tries his hardest to not feel useless but sometimes it's hard when you're so strong and he's so...not. of course you'll always reassure him and give him the confidence he needs but very frequently, he gets really down on himself about it.

fred weasley:

-every day he comes to you with a new scheme that involves your magic. could you make a portal that leads from the dungeons of hogwarts to the top of the astronomy tower? it's important. snape is gonna get really mad when he goes into his office? can your magic fix that?

-begs, and i mean BEGS, you to let him come along on your adventures and battles. he wants nothing more than to support you and fight along your side! as long it's not a trial, you can't help but let him come along. you usually end up saving him after he pays a little more attention to the way your whip around the battle, taking down everyone effortlessly.

-speaking of paying too much attention to you, he thinks it is so attractive than you can do what you do! he gives you some time after fighting to recuperate but then immediately he is ON you. he's kissing you and telling you how hot it is when you turn someone to just particles.

george weasley:

-he wants you to teach him everything you can. there are some things that are just simply innate and can not be taught but all your tips and tricks when it comes to fighting will now be all of his tips and tricks. you two would just find some field away from the burrow and go at it, sending spell after spell at each other. georgie is just overflowing with adrenaline and it's a great way to get it out.

-deep down, a part of him wants to be protective of you. he wants to keep you from going out into danger and taking on dangerous tasks all for magic and some old people telling you what to do. but he knows better, trust me. he knows you can defend yourself just fine but he just wants to put you in a little bubble and never let anything hurt you.

-just like ron, he will brag about you whenever he can. everyone is sitting around the great hall table, talking about how it's so cool that you defeated a troll in one fell swoop and he just wraps his arm around your shoulders, a glimmer in his eye as he proceeds to say "yeah, aren't they just so amazing?"

remus lupin:

-fears for your health and safety so much! when you come back from a trial, he's hushing you and putting you in bed, feeding you chocolate and brewing tea until you feel better!! you are bearing the weight of centuries old magic all alone. the least he can do is take care of you!

-supports your decisions throughout your entire journey as a keeper. if you truly believe that releasing ancient magic to the world and using it for more than the original keepers intended, then he understands. if you want to continue to keep it hidden, he will not question your judgement.

-this is so fluffy but i feel like you figured out how to manipulate your ancient magic to floating, bright blue scenes and pictures. around remus's time of the month (said lovingly), you'll lay in bed with him and use your wand to paint pictures of animals, lakes, waves, stars, or, in more sappy moments, your future.

sirius black:

-he thinks it is SO hot that you can take someone down without barely blinking an eye. his favorite move you do is when you lift someone into the air and slam them down repeatedly. gets blushy and turned on excited every time.

-once followed you down into the map chamber only to be very harshly yelled at by one of the keeper's portraits. he just wanted to see what it looked like and to know where you go on dangerous missions!! who can blame him, truly? definitely grumbled the whole rest of the day.

-when you two get married, he refuses to let you take his last name and instead will either take yours or say screw it and come up with one! he doesn't want his family to have the gratification of having a keeper with the black family name. he wants you to shine for who you are and in another century, he wants your name to be yours, not his.

[petew21-blog]

Family swap: Boys just wanna have fun!

My name is Robert Philip Cornell. I come from a very succesful family of lawyers. And in order to honor my family's legacy I continued in this tradition. Therefore I hope that one of my sons, preferably both, will continue this path as well. Unfortunately my twins, Richard and Philip, are very much like me and their mother. Inteligent, very good looking and thanks to our wealth, powerful. And they know how to use that. But sometimes I wonder if they should appreciate our legacy more than they do now. If you asked me right now and I answered that they were high, drunk or fucking someone, I'd definitely hit atleast one of the three if not all of them.

I was in Johannesburg to help close a company I represent a great deal. After signing we ended having a few coctails and then I left the group to my hotel room. Suddenly a WhatsApp message came to my mobile phone. From my wife Anna

"I'm sorry for interupting your meeting. Call me asap when you're free. It's the boys"

Oh god. What now? I dialed my wife's phone number

Anna:"Hey love. How was the meeting?"

Robert:"Hi, all went well. What's happening?"

Anna:"Philip took the boat. Richard covered him and as soon as the boat left the harbour he followed him. They just wanted to trick me. So now they're once again having a party on the sea, absolutely high as always. I just hope the cost guard will be understanding once again"

Robert:"Honey. I know you mean well with them, but I think it's time"

Anna:"Robert no. You can't be serious. Don't you remember what happened with your father and you when you two did this? Your father wanted to 'teach you a lesson', then you spent a shit ton of money and almost destroyed his reputation."

Robert:"And look where it got me. I know that the boys will understand eventually"

Anna:"So what are you gonna do? It wouldn't be fair to swap only one of them and there isn't another male figure left in your family to swap them with"

Robert:"I wasn't thinking of a male figure to be honest"

Anna:"Are you crazy? One of my sons in my FEMALE body? Robert, I don't think I'm comfortable with that. I can't imagine one of them treating my body decently"

Robert:"I am not happy with one of them ruining my image too or even treating my and yours body, but I believe that they will learn the lesson soon enough. Besides, wouldn't you wanna take those two teen hormonal bodies for a spin?"

Anna:"You're a tease Robert... when?"

Robert:"How about right now? I am in a hotel room. So let's say, Richard can try to get out of South Africa back home and Philip now can try to figure out and stress alone in your body on an island, how to get their original bodies back"

Anna:"Robert... you're evil. Then I am looking forward to see you in a minute"

Robert:"See you soon, my love"

A few minutes passed since Robert wanted to write down some instructions and so did Anna

Richard and Philip were on a yacht, blasting music and approaching the beach of the city they were headed to. Suddenly a text message sound. Philip opened the message first. It said:"Since you boys want to be on your own and enjoy everything life has to offer, we give you our bodies to take care of and with them the duties of maintaining our family image. Yes, you now have to work, yes you have to provide for the family. And yes, one of you will be a female. Treat our bodies with respect and we will do the same."

Philip:"Dude is dad tripping? What the hell is that?"

Richard:"I think I'm too high for this, bro"

A very nauseating feeling that didn't originate from the waves of the sea sweat through the two teens. Both trying hard not to vomit

Richard's P.O.V.

The feeling passed. There was a bright artificial light around him and he felt water coming down his chest. Wait what? How did he get in the shower? Was he that high that he didn't even remember the boat landing, the party or anything?

Richard looked down on his chest

"What the fuck?!?" a deep voice echoed the walls of the shower

"Philip? Did you bleach my chest hair? They're grey you fucker. And what the hell happened to my voice? I sound like dad."

I wasn't paying much attention to myself and what was actually happening. I just took a towel, exitted the shower and tried to find out where the hell I was. I looked around and couldn't find much. It was a pretty normal hotel room, on the bed I saw my fathers briefcase and his clothes. There was a note on the bed:"Wanted to hand you everything clean and ready. BEHAVE and don't ruin my body! Love, dad"

"What the actual fuck is this?"

The reality was starting to him the. The text message, the note, the chest hair. I was scared to look in the mirror, but there was no other way of knowing

"You son of a bitch!" he really did it. My new reflection wasn't the one I was used to, but seemed like my much older one and a but distorted along with a beard. My father is a very handsome man, I have to give him that. But it is very different from the point of view of his son. Your parents aren't suppose to be hot, they're disgusting to you no matter how they look. Yet here I was standing, watching my father's muscular, grey-haired torso. His veins on his biceps. His piercing eyes that I knew very precisely, cause these ones were the ones that raised me. The ones that always seemed the most disappointed.

But now. I was behind these eyes. And my father did this to me on purpose. He wanted to give me another life lesson. "You know what dad? Fuck you!"

I dropped the towel I put around my waist before to reveal a hairy flacid dick. Ew, I never thought I would see my father's dick from this point of view. We'll here we are. But it's not bad to be honest. Might give it a little trim and the chicks would dig it.

I took a second before doing that to really think hard. I had to look away from the mirror causing watching my father jerk off wasn't something I would get off to daily. But watching this nice cock get hard in my hands as I was palying with these hairy balls and the foreskin, that was something. Looking down I was really proud. I am still muscular, I look amazing and I got a nice dick. Doesn't matter what dad does to me. I'll enjoy this punishment.

I grabbed my new dick hard. I squeezed it until I felt pain. And then I started jerking it. I spit in my hand and played with the head, almost instantly. I stopped and resumed jerking. I was hairy everywhere. I wasn't used to that. I wasn't even thinking about this body as my father's anymore.

My right hand was curious enough to get into the jungle between my buttcheeks. And what a jungle it is. I spit into that hand as well.

"Sorry, daddy. Boys just wanna have fun"

I pushed one finger inside. I could that this body has never experinced that. I'll enjoy that even more. I pushed in another finger and then kept on pushing until I couldn't. I felt my new prostate. So sensitive! I pushed and pulled. Almost forgetting to jerk off at the same time. I got in sync and could only scream in pleasure. I was so close. I could feel the sensation building up. If I were in my body I would stop to take care of the mess in time. But I didn't care. I let it pour outside off me. The cum got into my chest hair and on my abs. I let out a sight of relief

Collapsed on the bed, I noticed dad's phone lighting up. Mom was calling. Wait, is it really mom or is Philip also swapped? I gotta know. I took the phone to my ear and answered

Philip:"Those fuckers. What are we gonna do about them?"

Richard:"I don't know about you, but I just had the best orgasm in my life"

Philip:"You're so disgusting Rich, that's our fathers body, you know that?"

Richard:"Yeah, but that didn't stop me. And I don't think you should stop either. The women say that their orgasm is so much more intense, so now you'll know"

Philip:"I don't know if I am ok with that. It's our mother's pussy, bro"

Richard:"Yeah and? I just fingered our father ass. Suck it up big boy. I'll send you a location. I'll take a plane and we'll meet there?"

Philip:"You're nasty bro. See you there I guess. Wait, wait do you know what is this tiny weird thing sticking out at the top of the vagina?"

I packed my fahter's things and set off to meet my bro, or wife?. I went to the local mall and slightly altered my visage. Do you think they'll let me inside of the plane like this? Oh and one tiny request I gotta send to our butler

Robert and Anna's P.O.V.

Anna:"I must admit, Robert, I haven't felt so full off energy in ages!"

Robert:"That might be the drugs the boys took, haha"

Anna:"No, seriously. The boys got great bodies, but our bodies aren't as much vital as these ones. We have to go do something!"

Robert:"How about we continue in the plans that the boys had? Might be fun"

We arrived to an empty beach with no one in sight.

Robert:"Did you check the coordinates?"

Anna:"Sorry, dear but I am still very high. I am still surprised we didn't crash the boat"

Robert:"Haha. It's so funny to see Philip call me honey. Haha, jesus. I think I am still also high"

Anna:"Wanna maybe lie down here and just... chill. Or how do the kids these days call it?"

Robert:"Haha. 'Kids these days'. Philip looks like a nostalgic senior now"

Anna in Philip's body laughed. "Yeah and what are you? A teen king who knows all the trends?" she ran up to him and pushed him on the ground

Both boys's bodies still very high. They very playfully fighting in the sand. Rolling around, like two teenage boys would

Suddenly Anna planted Robert a kiss. Robert was shocked and stared at her not returning it

Anna:"I still see you as you. I don't care what bodies we're in. Even if we were worms I'd ¹still love you"

Robert:"Anna, I... don't think I can do this"

Anna grabbed Robert's new hard dick and looked back at him:"Then don't think at all. Just love me"

Anna kissed him again and this time Robert kissed back. He felt the love his wife had for him and kissed the another boys body back.

The two identical boys now with their hands all over their bodies. Exploring each other as if it were a mirror. A mirror that they made out. A mirror that they were caressing and pressing their hard dick against.

Ther dicks were out. Anna in Philip's body just laughed as she felt her husband sucking her dick:"I understand why you always beg me. This is so goood. Keep going!"

Robert didn't believe what he was doing, but he couldn't really keep thinking that or else he would go mad. Sucking his son's dick was definitely not on his bucket list.

Robert got into a 69 position. Twins giving each other the same pleasure. What a sight for horny eyes.

They didn't talk. They were mouthful, so there was no room for talking. Each gagging on each others dick. Giving pleasure to the other one. Thursting and enjoying the same feeling from the other. They were close very close. And they both came almost at the same time. They got some perfecting to do.

They were in each other's arms, naked on the beach sand. Enjoying the view of the other one. Just smiling at each other.

And just then, the family Butler arrived with security to the beach.

Nigel:"Good afternoon gentlemen. I have strickt orders from your parents to transport you back to your house and to enroll you back into high school. You have your senior year to finish and you have to pass all your exams. Your parents also gave a strict rule of no alcohol, no drugs and no visits in your home. Shall we leave?"

Robert to Anna:"Oh that's what I forgot. Fuck, Richard is good. This is gonna be very good for him. I think he'll be the next one to continue."

Anna:"Did you just hear what Nigel said, honey?"

Robert:"All I heard was that I will spend a lot off tíme together with the love of my life. I don't care how painful it will be. We get to be young again and together. And don't forget that the boys share bedroom, honey." I saw Anna blushing and smile as she opened the car door.

Richard a Philip's P.O.V.

Philip:"Are you sure we're safe like this?"

Richard:"Yeah, bro. They're gonna have to go to high school and all. Nigel already has them at home. We get to live no without nagging"

Philip:"Yeah, so amazing to have no nagging, but If you haven't noticed I am the one with mums pussy."

Richard:"And I bet it's hungry for dick"

Philip:"Why on earth didn't they swap you into mum instead of me. I'm not even bi. I won't enjoy the sex as much as you will"

Richard;"Ok, I promile that tonight I'll show you that you're now definitely on the spectrum and that I now have a magnificent dick that will make you very happy"

Philip:"Fine. So, we gonna party now or what?"

Richard:"The festival hasn't even started yet and you wanna party already. I think we're now the oldest people here dude."

Philip:"Well then let's show them how older people party!"

An inbox story that I played with a tiny bit :D

Could you write a story about parents swapping bodies with their twin kids since they don’t behave. Now the parents in the boys body must go to school and enjoy their youth while the boys in their parents bodies have to give to work and be responsible.

If you haven't seen your story yet, don't worry I got a lot of them in the inbox, some of them are partially written in the drafts and are now just waiting for me to have more time and be horny enough to finish them 😈

[lixzey]

sincerely yours

luke castellan x athena!reader

word count: 3.7k

warnings: none, i guess? just some good old fashioned capture the flag shit

a/n: i'm so sorry this took so long! yeah, i know i promised i'd post this yesterday, but my daughter is sick. we just got back from the ER a little over an hour ago bcs she was vomiting like crazy. so, i do hope y'all understand that i have a child to tend to, even though i already finished school.

anyway, this shall be my official early apology for lovelorn part two, which is titled “you're losing me,”

i'm gonna try my best to get that out as soon as i can, but please, do not rush me! thank you!

special thanks to my girl @jennapancake my wonderful bestie @lilmaymayy

ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE

“There was something 'bout you that now I can't remember, it's the same damn thing that made my heart surrender,”

Dear Luke, 

I bumped into you today. Gods, you looked so majestic from my point of view. I got lost in your eyes, again. Pretty sure if I stared just a little bit longer in your beautiful eyes, all the molecules in my body would combust.

There was something 'bout you that now I can't remember, it’s the same damn thing that made my heart surrender.

“For the love of Ares, write your damn letter after we get the flag!” Clarisse groaned, her electric spear sparking slightly, snapping you out of your lovesick daze.

“Why not? It’s not like the other team’s here,” You shrugged, crossing your legs over the  other. “I have plenty of time to write.”

“It’s not like the other team’s here,” Clarisse mimicked the tone of your voice, rolling her dark eyes. “We are at battle, Y/n! Write the damn letter after we win!”

“Let the girl write, Clarisse,” Silena chuckled, sitting beside you with a soft smile. “She’s just so in love with pretty boy, Luke.”

“Silena!” You shushed, craning your neck to glance around if someone was nearby. “Someone could’ve heard you! He could’ve heard you!”

“Relax, lover girl,” Silena smirked, flicking her long dark hair over her shoulder. “No one’s here, no one would dare to approach this side as long as Clar is here.”

Clarissed bobbed her head to the side. “What she said.”

“Shut up,” You grumbled, folding the paper and stuffing inside the back pocket of your shorts along with your pen. “Someone from our team still could’ve passed by.” you huffed, folding your arms over your chest.

“Yeah, so shut up about your pretty boy.” Clarisse rolled her eyes. “Not everyone wants to hear how beautiful his eyes are.”

“Can’t blame her, though,” Silena shrugged her tan shoulders. “He’s so pretty, a sight for sore eyes.”

“He’s a sight for my sore eyes,” You sighed dreamily, resting your chin on your hands.

“Ugh,” Clarisse scrunched her nose. “Are you sure you’re not a daughter of Aphrodite wrongly claimed by Athena? Or at least a legacy of the love goddess?”

“If she was a daughter of love, I would know.” Silena answered, picking up a pebble and throwing it gracefully into the creek right in front of the three of you. “She's definitely not a legacy either. Just an Athena kid in love with a son of Hermes, stupidly in love with said son of Hermes.”

“Hey! I am not stupidly in love-” 

“You aren’t?” Clarisse raised a brow. “You were literally just babbling about bumping into him ten minutes ago.”

“Yeah, but-”

“And, you were blushing when you found us.” Silena added, smirking. “Oh, Sil, Clar, I bumped into Lukey! He smells so good, oh gods I love him so bad!”

A blush crept onto your cheeks, the shade of strawberries down at the patch invading your face despite trying against it.

“Aw, you look like a strawberry,” Silena giggled, pinching one of your cheeks.

Before you could utter a word, you heard the sound of rustling leaves and branches snapping to your left.

Clarisse’s head whipped to the side, most likely hearing the intruding sounds. “Get ready,” she muttered, lifting her spear in fight mode.

You nodded, quickly rising up to your feet, grabbing your shield that was sitting unused on the forest floor as well as your celestial bronze sword at the ready. Silena stood beside you, red and pink armor shining in the sun as she held her sword in one hand and shield in the other. She looked so effortlessly beautiful, making you slightly jealous.

Silena was your best friend, and has been since you first arrived at camp. But you couldn’t help but wish you were as pretty as her. She had long gorgeous hair, striking eyes, and angelic features, the look you wish you had. Maybe, if you were as pretty as her, Luke would give you his full attention like how boys did with Silena or any daughter of Aphrodite.

“Oh, hey guys,” A voice you knew oh so well brought you back to reality. Your eyes snapped upward, meeting the eyes of Luke Castellan.

Shit.

You look at Silena and she’s already grinning at you. Clarisse, matching Silena’s with crossed arms. 

“Hi, Luke,” Silena greets him with a smile, a slight teasing tone in her voice directed at you.

“What’cha girls up to?” Luke asks, leaning against a tree. Even when he’s sweaty, gods, he’s handsome.

“Nothing!” You quickly answer, averting your gaze away from him, the blush you had earlier still not leaving.

“Where’s the flag?” Clarisse asked, peeking behind the counselor of cabin eleven.

“It’s with Annabeth, don’t worry,” Luke assured with a chuckle. “She isn’t letting the flag out of her sight, won’t even let me touch it.”

“The other team’s flag?” Clarisse raised a brow expectantly. 

“The Stolls are on it, Chris too.” Luke answers, running a hand over his chocolate curls, making you gulp. Fuck, he’s too damn hot.

Silena cleared her throat, noticing how nervous you are. “Hey, Clar? Let’s help the boys.” 

Clarisse looks at her incredulously, but Silena raises a brow at her. “Okay, fine. Let’s go.”

Your eyes widened. “Wait, what?”

“Luke, you okay with keeping Y/n company for a bit?” Silena asks with a smirk, fixing up her armor.

“Yeah, sure, no problem.” Luke smiles, oblivious to the fact that you are blushing like a ripe red fruit in season.

Shit, shit, shit. You thought, watching the teasing looks of your friends as you stood there obviously frazzled. “No, no, I’m uh, coming with you!” You stammered, nearly stumbling forward. “I’m gonna help!” your voice sounded a little squeaky, making you visibly cringe.

Clarisse snorted, slamming the end of her spear onto the forest floor, the tip sparking like fireworks on the fourth of July. “You stay here, smartass,” she says with a teasing grin. “He's got you covered, right Castellan?”

Luke nodded, a lopsided grin on his handsome face. “I got ‘er, don’t worry,” he chuckles, walking towards you, slinging his muscular arm around your shoulders, pulling you slightly closer to his armored chest. “Wouldn’t want to get maimed by three cabin heads.”

“You’ve got Annabeth, Clarisse, and me to deal with if she gets hurt.” Silena says, pink glossed lips curling into a smirk.

You scowl, folding your arms over your chest. “I can fend for myself, thank you very much.”

“You wouldn’t mind if Lukey here protects you?” Silena chuckled, flicking her long hair over her shoulder, her eyes changing to the shade of Luke’s—chocolate brown, amber in the sunlight.

You crossed your arms over your chest, glaring at your best friends. “I’m perfectly fine without a man,” you grumbled, trying your best to sound nonchalant.

“Uh huh,” Clarisse smirks at you. “Say, Luke, you wouldn’t mind saving our smart ass friend, would you?”

“Not at all,” Luke replies, his lips mirroring Clarisse’s. “What’dya say pretty girl? Y’ mind if I save you?” he continues, nudging you slightly with the arm along your shoulders.

Silena and Clarisse snort at Luke Castellan calling you pretty girl. You were a hundred percent sure that Silena would be teasing you relentlessly after the match because of it. 

You narrow your eyes at your ridiculously annoying friends, before slowly averting your gaze away from the girls and towards Luke. Good lord, does this light do him good. “N-No, I don’t mind…” You trail off, your face becoming a little too hot as Luke's perfectly handsome face just inches away.

You feel your heart beating loudly in your chest, making you wonder if the decibels of said beating were audible enough for the boy who’s causing your heart to beat so rapidly.

“That settles it!” Silena clapped her hands together, snapping you back to reality. You quickly push Luke’s arm off of your shoulder, taking a step back away from him as if he had some sort of deadly disease.

I can’t risk him knowing I have a crush on him!

“See you later, pretty girl!” Silena chuckles before grabbing Clarisse’s arm, pulling the daughter of Ares along with her.

As soon as your friends faded from your view, you immediately scramble towards the log you had been sitting on a while ago. You were desperate to hide the fact that you had feelings for the boy standing just meters away. You had to act all tough and calculating, just like your little sister.

“You know,” Luke started, walking in your direction, sheathing his sword in its holster. “From this angle, you look like Annabeth.”

You look up at him, raising a brow, hoping you looked at least intimidating. “How so?”

Luke hummed, taking a seat beside you, placing his shield down on the forest floor. “You had your lower lip out in a pout, just like Annabeth when she’s in deep thought.”

“Who says I’m in deep thought?”

Luke smiles, shaking his head with a chuckle. “I just assumed, since Annabeth is my sister-” he cuts himself off momentarily, looking at you like he had offended you. “I mean, she’s your sister, not mine, you know? Godly parent wise.”

“It’s fine, Luke,” You laugh, giving him an assuring smile. “You have been Annabeth’s family since she was seven. We all know that no one, and I mean no one, can ever replace you as Annie’s big brother.”

Luke sighed a breath of relief. “For a minute there I thought you were going to get mad at me.”

“I mean, there is nothing to be mad about.” You smile, before suddenly remembering the unfinished letter you had sitting in your back pocket. 

Shit.

You quickly whipped your head around to see if the letter had fallen out of your pocket, before reaching in your back pocket to check. Thank gods, it’s still here. You push it down deeper in your pocket, if that was still even possible. It's better to be safe rather than sorry.

“You know, you and Annabeth have a lot in common.” Luke says, leaning slightly to the side, looking you up and down, causing you to feel a little shy.

“Yeah?” You squeak out, your eyes visibly widening like stormy gray drachmas before quickly clearing your throat like nothing happened despite the pink tint on your cheeks. “What makes Annabeth and I so similar?”

“Well, for starters, you’re both smart and wise. I mean, yeah, it’s already given because your mom is Athena.”

You playfully raise a brow at him. “What else?” you ask, the corner of your lips twitching into a small smile.

If you were being honest, you were liking this. Just you and Luke, alone—well, not technically��in the woods just chatting about the similarities between you and your younger sister. Personally, you’d prefer something else as a topic. Although, Luke pointing out the similarities between you and Annabeth would mean that he looks at you like you do with him.

It wouldn’t be wrong to assume, would it? Since he had just implied that you and Annabeth had a lot in common. Perhaps even in ways you don’t even notice.

Does this make you delusional? Maybe. But there’s no wrong with that, right?

“You both zone out,” Luke chuckles, wiping off the sweat on his forehead with the back of his hand. “Usually, during mornings. Annabeth, she says that it’s because of lack of sleep from reading all night.”

You stifle a laugh, fully knowing that Annabeth spends a lot of time reading during the night. She says that it’s the only time she has during her day, since she prefers getting all of her chores done before getting into leisure activities. You often wonder how on earth does she manage to function with only three to five hours of sleep, when a child her age is supposed to have more than eight hours of rest.

“Well, that’s an acceptable reason to zone out.” You chuckle, pushing back strands of your hair behind your ear, simultaneously wiping off sweat on your brow bone. “I stay up most of the time too, but I don’t overdo it like our little sister. Quite frankly, I do get cranky if I get little to no sleep.”

“I’ve noticed,” Luke snorts, giving you a teasing smile. “You won’t talk to anyone until you’ve gotten your morning tea. A cup of hot peppermint tea with two slices of lemon, a drizzle of honey, and sometimes you add sprigs of mint you ask Katie to grow for you.”

“You know how I take my tea?” You ask, confusion in your features. “I mean, why do you know how I take my tea?”

“It’s kinda hard not to memorize your tea preference when I hear it every time I pick up Annabeth for training.” Luke answers, causing heat to rise up to your cheeks which you hoped that Luke would not notice.

“Oh,” you mumble, realization kicking in. “That makes a lot of sense, actually.”

“Also, you don’t drink it right away. You wait at least two to three minutes—at least from what I see from my table—before taking a sip.”

You suddenly feel butterflies inside your stomach, your cheeks felt like they were getting hotter by the second. You hoped so badly that Luke wouldn’t notice how you were blushing profusely like a teenager in love—which you are, obviously, unless Luke was utterly oblivious to see right through your facade.

Before you could answer, you hear leaves rustling along with heavy footsteps heading towards you and Luke. You quickly rise to your feet, grabbing your sword at shield in defense.

“Enemy team, nine o’clock,” You simply say, the gears in your head moving around to come up with proper battle strategies. 

Luke laughs at you as he stands up. He had his sword still in its holster. “Let me guess,” he chuckles, placing his hands on his waist. Gods, he is so fucking slutty. “Calculating ways to beat their asses?”

You roll your eyes at him. “Obviously.” Luke Castellan was the love of your life, but you were not going to lose a game of capture the flag because of him. “Why aren’t you in position?”

“Relax, pretty girl,” Luke waves a hand dismissively as he smirks at you. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

You glare at him, a scowl on your lips. “I can protect myself, thank you very much.”

“Eh, humor me,” Luke nudges your shoulder, a lopsided grin on stupidly handsome face. “It’ll be fun.”

“If you weren’t-” you tried to retort, only to be cut off by Lee Fletcher’s voice. 

“Where’s the flag, Castellan?” Lee demands, moving closer towards you and Luke, his siblings following closely behind, ready for a fight.

You wanted to laugh so badly. It was like they were still new to the game. It made you wonder whether they were purposely forgetting the fact that Luke Castellan is the best swordsman camp has seen in the past three hundred years or they’ve never learned their lessons.

“You’re not getting it, Lee. You’d have to get through me first. If you happen to get through me, which I highly doubt, then you’d have to get through Luke—which I can guarantee will not be good.” You taunted, sword at the ready. You then turned to Luke, who was smiling at you. “What?”

“Didn’t know you think so highly of me,” Luke grinned, pulling his sword out of its holster. “Careful, that might get to my head.”

“Whatever,” You roll your eyes at him, trying your hardest not to blush and fall in love with him even more—if that was even possible at this point. You then turn your attention back to the enemy team. “Let’s get this done and over with.”

“Done flirting?” Michael Yew teases from behind Lee, a smirk plastered on his lips.

You scowled, heat rising to your cheeks for the nth time this day. “We weren’t flirting.”

“Eh, looks like it,” Lee snorts, causing his siblings to erupt in laughter. 

You glared at Lee, but before you could say anything, Luke charged at Lee—instantly disarming him without even breaking a sweat, the tip of his sword just below the son of Apollo’s chin and his sword in Luke’s hand.

“What she said,” Luke growled, glaring at him as he pushed his sword forward, grazing Lee’s neck.

Lee whimpered at Luke’s mercy, his eyes closed shut as his siblings stood behind him like scared little kids—well, most of them were. 

“Luke, stop,” You gently placed your hand on his shoulder, feeling a thousand sparks coursing through your veins. When he didn’t budge, you sighed. “Come on, Luke, he’s not worth it.”

It took a minute, but Luke moved his sword away from Lee, though he was still glaring at the son of Apollo. “Get out of my face before I-”

“Luke,” You sighed, grabbing his arm and pulling him to the side before casting a glance at the son of Apollo. “Go, if you know what’s good for you—all of you—go.”

You then turned your full attention back to Luke, his eyes meeting yours with just a few inches separating your faces from another. You felt his breath hot on your skin, sending shivers down your spine. Oh gods, help me.

“No can do,” Lee mutters under his breath, pulling his sword out from its holster. “Attack!” he yelled, charging towards you and Luke.

Acting on your instincts, you immediately grabbed your sword, blocking Lee’s attack, maneuvering your sword, putting your whole weight into a downward thrust. Lee’s sword rattled against the stones, the tip of your sword poking his armor. You then pushed him back with the flat of your blade, causing him to stumble back over a rock, falling on his ass.

You whipped your head around to find Luke disarming Michael Yew with ease, he then grabbed the son of Apollo’s arm, twisting it before shoving him to the side. “You should’ve used arrows.” he taunted the younger boy, a smirk on his lips.

To the side, you saw another child of Apollo—Dawn, you think her name was—sneaking up on Luke, aiming her sword just above his jugular vein.

You quickly ran towards Luke, sliding under his legs, causing Dawn to trip and land face first in a pile of leaves—well, you hoped it was more than just leaves.

“Wrong move,” you laughed deviously, blowing strands of your hair away from your face. 

“Thanks,” Luke chuckled, helping you back on your feet. He then rolled his eyes, letting out an exasperated sigh, before jerking his head behind you, only to find Lee charging towards you.

Luke immediately passed you a shield, which you quickly slid on the ground in Lee’s way, causing him to trip and his sword to fly out his hand and fall just below your feet.

You quickly knelt down, picking the sword up and passing it to Luke with a grin. “Nice save, Luke.”

“You flatter me too much.” Luke chuckled, tilting his head to the side. “I should be flattering you! By the gods, you looked like a warrior princess!”

“I did not,” You laugh nervously, feeling your cheeks heat up again. “I simply did what I was trained to do.”

“Yeah, well- stay down!” Luke pointed his sword at Lee, causing the boy to sigh heavily. 

“Fine, we surrender!”

Luke turned his attention back to you, giving you a lopsided grin. “Where was I?”

Before you could utter a reply, loud cheers and laughter rang out from the distance, making its way closer to where you and Luke were standing. You see the Stoll brothers along with Chris Rodriguez waving the enemy team’s flag in the air as Clarisse waved your team’s flag in victory. 

“We won!” Clarisse laughed heartily, smiling victoriously as she slung her arm around Chris’ shoulders. “Wave it in their faces, Rodriguez!”

“We won!” You squealed, looking at Luke, your hair bouncing in the air as you jumped up and down. “We won! We actually won!”

All of a sudden, Luke picked you up by the waist, twirling you around like a princess in those movies you watched as a child.

“We won!” Luke laughed as he spun you around like you didn’t weigh anything, causing you to erupt in a fit of giggles. “I knew we’d win this!”

“Victory!” You laughed as Luke stopped twirling you, your stormy eyes meeting his chocolate ones as you felt the world pause around you, their cheers fading as Luke smiled at you—that annoyingly handsome smile you’ve come to love—as you felt your heart beat like a bass drum.

You sighed contentedly, yours and Luke’s faces just a few inches away from each other.  “We won,”

“Yeah, pretty girl, we did,” Luke grinned, you could’ve sworn you felt his hold on you tighten as if he was bringing you in closer, but you didn’t want to be delusional so you just laughed it off.

“You guys done flirting?” Clarisse’s voice snapped you and Luke out of your little world. Your eyes widened drastically, your cheeks reddening like a tomato as Luke placed you back down on your feet. You then quickly scrambled towards Silena, Annabeth, and Clarisse, looking embarrassed as ever.

“We..we weren’t flirting!” You quickly told your friends and younger sister, as you reached into your back pockets for some extra hair ties you kept to tie your hair up.

“Uh huh,” Silena teased, smirking at the way your cheeks reddened up. “Whatever you say, pretty girl,”

“Shut up,” You grumbled, tying your hair up when the realization settled in.

The letter was gone.

Oh fuck. 

“Oh shit, fuck, god damnit!” You immediately started looking around for the crumpled paper hoping no one had noticed it yet, unfortunately there were still a lot of campers around, and one must have seen it already.

“What is it?” Annabeth asked, raising a brow at you as she slipped her dagger in its holster. “You okay?”

“Yeah, fuckin’ fantastic!” You say frantically, still scanning the area for any sign of your unfinished letter. You mentally pleaded to your mother to help you find the letter, desperate measures require desperate solutions. Hell, you even started praying to the goddess Aphrodite for help.

Mom, come on, if you love me, help me find my love letter!

Aphrodite, oh goddess, help me in the name of love!

“Oh fuck, you have got to be fucking kidding me.” You say, finally spotting the letter.

In Luke Castellan’s hands.

“Motherfu-”

taglist: @ma1dita @m00ng4z3r @woodlandwrites @sflame15-blog @the-sylver-dragon @ceruleansx @evsolostheuniverse @patitotodd @emryb @onecojg @caramelandvenus @yourfavoritereader @fennecswife @lynbubble @scarletsapphic @lvrgirl6999 @harrysnovia @nyxikae @mxtokko @sc4rl3ttdafoxx

[russo-woso]

Wimbledon || Leah Williamson

Based on this Request here. Thank you anon for sending it in :)

First of all, I don’t know anything about tennis or Wimbledon so this was a guess. Hopefully it works like this.

Warning smut, cunnilingus, semi-public sex, top!leah

Summary Leah rewards you after you win Wimbledon

Tennis had always been your life.

Your mum and her sisters had grown up playing tennis, and so you were bound to play it too.

Being the only daughter, niece and granddaughter, it was up to you to continue their legacy.

And that’s what you did.

You collapsed to the floor in happiness as the ball hit your racket for the final time.

After weeks of going through knockout stages, you had won.

After years of injuries and constant hard work, you had won.

Winning Wimbledon had only ever been your dream since the age of four, and here you were collecting the trophy from princess Kate.

Lifting the trophy up in the air, your eyes connected with your family, tears streaming down their faces, but there was another person who looked even more prouder.

Your fiancé, Leah, was sat next to your mum, smiling through the tears that welled in her eyes.

You blew her a kiss, Leah immediately blowing one back.

Once shaking hands with everyone, you made your way back to your designated changing room where you were met with Leah.

Leah had her arms open, waiting for you to jump in them.

“I’m so proud of you, baby.” She mumbled in your hair, placing you back on the ground before putting her lips on yours. “Listen, your family wants to go out for dinner and they’ve reserved the table for 5:30 so you’ve got just under an hour to get ready.”

“Okay, perfect. God, I can’t believe I just won Wimbledon. I’ve dreamed of winning it since I was four, Le.” You tell her and once again, she envelops you in a hug.

“I know, pretty girl and I am so proud of you.” You connected your lips with Leah’s, the kiss becoming passionate very quickly.

“Here’s the star girl. Well done hunny.” Your mum walked through the door, you and Leah separating very quickly.

“Thanks mum. It’s all thank to you that I’m here today. Thank you.” You said, hugging her.

“It’s all you, darling. You’re here today because you worked for it. Now hurry up, you two stop kissing and actually get changed. I’m not having us be late for our reservation.”

————————

“Le, stop it.” You whisper to her, removing her curious hand from your thigh.

“Come on, pretty girl, I’m just resting my hand there.” Leah responded, putting her hand on the original place it was in before it started travelling.

You looked up and tried to join the conversation but was soon distracting by Leah’s lingering fingers travelling up your thigh.

“I — umm — Do you mind if I take a minute? Le, come with.” You stuttered, stumbling out of your chair, before practically dragging Leah to the toilets. “What’s up with—” You began asking Leah but you were cut off with her lips on yours.

“I just wanna show you how proud I am.” Leah said, separating your lips from hers, reconnecting them to your jaw seconds later.

You whined as Leah nipped at your neck, marking it gently and leaving light red marks.

“We’re gonna have to be quick, love, okay? Be quiet.”

Leah’s hands travelled down your body before reaching up your dress.

“Le, please. Please don’t tease.” You whined into her shoulder, resting your head on it.

“Don’t worry, love, I won’t.”

You felt Leah’s hand touch your clit and your knees buckled from beneath you, luckily Leah held you up.

“Good girl, keep quiet.” Leah said, circling your clit at a set pace.

“Oh god - Le, it feels so good.”

“I know it does baby, but keep quiet.”

“I don’t think I can, le.” You managed to mumble into Leah’s shoulder as moans escaped your mouth.

“Lift your head up.” Leah commanded and you obeyed, meeting Leah’s eyes.

Within seconds, Leah’s lips were on yours, Leah swallowing your moans.

“I’m close, le. I’m so close. Oh god - I’m gonna cum.”

You took ahold of Leah’s neck, pulling her into you so your lips were on hers, Leah swallowing all your orgasmic moans.

“I love you so much.” You told Leah, separating your lips.

“I love you too, pretty girl. We’ll continue this when we get home, okay? I’m gonna make you know how proud I am.” Leah stated, pressing her lips on your head as she helped you gain your balance on the floor.

“Y/N, Leah, are you in there?” You heard your mums voice say through the toilet door.

“Umm, yes mum, we’ll be out in a minute.” You said, stuttering some of your words.

“We’ll try leave early. I’ll come up with an excuse.” Leah told you with a smirk, opening the door and putting her hand in yours.

It was going to be a sinful night.

Requests are open :)

[arkieve]

Burnt | @jegulus-microfic | word count: 716

James bites into a particularly persistent lump with the texture of onion and suppresses a shudder. 

“Did you put onions in this?” he asks, still chewing. Never stopping his chewing. The persistent chewing saves him from having to swallow.

Regulus frowns from his seat at the table. “Why would I put onions in pancakes?”

James wants to gag but opts for a deep breath, disguising it as a hum of contentment. “No reason.” More chewing. Oh god, it’s all mushy in his mouth, like the pancakes have reverted back to batter. “This is nice.”

Regulus squints. “Then swallow.” There’s a pause. “Swallow, James.”

James grabs the pitcher of water and fills his glass, ashamed that he has to resort to a technique he hasn’t used since middle school. He takes a deep breath, brings the glass to his lips, and washes the pancakes down. It takes the entire contents of the glass to ensure the food stays down, but he does it and he breathes out like he’s faced death and survived. His triumph is quickly trampled by Regulus’ puzzled stare.

“I love it. So much,” James says finally, blinking away tears. “In fact, I love it so much I’m gonna take it with me to the bathroom while I go about my business. If we end up with a clogging problem, it is one hundred percent me and not this…” James can’t call it pancakes; it’s not fair. It's an abuse of the name and legacy of pancakes.

“You hate it.” Regulus states simply, refusing to entertain James’ nonsense.

“No,” James tries to amend. “You took time out of your day to make me breakfast. I’m blessed.”

Regulus crosses his arms and huffs. “You’re fucking ungrateful, is what you are.”

James reels back in his chair, mouth agape in affronted shock. “Ungrateful? For not baring my neck for your ax?”

“Oh, that’s dramatic!”

James makes a motion towards the pile of pancakes plated between them. “Go on then. Have at it.”

Regulus rolls his eyes, and grabs a particularly crispy pancake with burnt edges, and bites into it raw. He chews, keeps chewing, and then chews some more, all the while maintaining determined eye contact with James.

James bites into his lip to stop himself from laughing. “Swallow.” 

Regulus stops chewing, and then comes the most painful swallow James has ever witnessed. Regulus sits unmoving, looking almost frozen aside from the occasional eye twitch.

James grows worried after a few minutes of silence, Regulus refusing to let up. “Reg?”

Regulus gives another dry swallow before opening his mouth, voice hoarse and parched. “Water,” is all he says, before James fills his glass. He downs the whole thing in one go, then hangs his head, refusing to meet James’ gaze. He should, though, because James has nothing but adoration for him despite the pancakes– stockholm syndrome and all that.

“I’m not gonna lie,” he breaks the silence with an affectionate smile branded on his lips. “I thought you were mad at me.”

Regulus finally looks up. “Why would I be mad at you?”

James gestures towards the pancakes, and Regulus gives a heavy sigh. “I made you pancakes because I love you, asshole.” He bites his lips, contemplating. “If anything, I’m happy with you.”

James’ heart soars. This is why he was ready to poison himself and clog their pipes. “If this is what you do when you’re happy with me, then I’m in danger.” He chuckles. When Regulus gets up to move, he throws his head back in laughter.

James grabs onto him, pulling him down onto his lap; Regulus goes with little to no resistance. “I’m joking,” he placates, burying his face in the crook of Regulus’ neck. Regulus squirms before going pliant. “You’re cute.”

“No, I’m not.” Regulus says, cutely. “I’m trying here.”

“I know,” James hums, tightening his hold with the sudden overwhelming love he feels for the man in his lap. “There’s no way but up from here. You’ll be putting all the professional chefs to shame in no time.”

Regulus scoffs. “I know.”

“We’ll start small, though. Let’s start with learning how to boil water first—ow!” Regulus is out of his lap and across the apartment, and James is too busy rubbing his arm and laughing to go after him.