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shijiujun · 3 years

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on the danmei twitter fight

okay guys i didn’t wanna say anything about this and yes it’s that hot danmei twitter translations saga thing that’s going on, because honestly i feel like there’s nothing much to say but when i see dumb posts on tumblr taking about that, by people who present a misleading hot take and their friends or moots run off with it without even knowing what exactly is going on - it really pisses me off.

and also if you shit talk translators for not continuing their translations or locking their translations whatever - the door is that way on your right and left, but anyway here’s a rundown on what happened because i am seeing people make comments without two brain cells put together, without the slightest bit of consideration for the people who bring them translations

here’s my hot take and thesis: if you enjoy english translations made by fan translators, you don’t, in any way, no matter happens, shit talk fan translators. fan translators do this for free, and whatever their intentions are, whether genuine sharing or like some of you like to say, for clout, if you consume, and you enjoy these translations, i’m sorry, you’re not uninvolved, and you don’t get to sit on a high horse and say translators should or shouldn’t do something. you should just keep quiet, honestly, because someone else is doing you a favour, a favour that you are enjoying and taking. that’s what respect is.

i’m presenting both sides or i guess three sides of the story as objectively as i can, altho my support is still for fan translators who were just minding their own business before this blew up.

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🔺 what happened:

so it started because one of the bigger translators in the fandom did this poll - i’m not blaming her at all, i doubt she had any intentions of shaming anyone or causing any controversy and was plain curious, but her poll asked english speaking danmei twitter how many people buy the digital, print copies of the danmei they read, and who did not.

in my honest opinion, it’s not strange at all for her to have created that poll, considering just how much work she’s put into making sure things are accessible for the eng-speaking danmei fandom. i mean i’d be curious too, to know out of my thousands of readers, what the reading and buying behaviour is like. do yourself a favour and don’t read too much into it.

obviously in an era where a lot of people do consume content for free whether the underlying content is profit-making (like anime, donghua, manhua, manga etc.) or not (fanfiction etc.), it was unsurprising to see that the last option - the ones who consume danmei without paying a single cent, came out as the majority. i don’t think this is a surprising result at all, for all sorts of reasons that i will not get into now.

anyway, this is obviously kind of a sore point in the fandom especially for translators who want a wider audience to support their fave author’s works - i won’t get into that for now, but the issue began because other translators or fans started to criticize the majority of people who don’t pay for objectively rather affordable danmei and just consume things for free.

and yes, i don’t deny that the argument on both sides got really heated and emotionally charged with both sides calling each other names which i believe is uncalled for, but it totally derailed the crux of the issue, which basically is that the majority of english-speaking danmei fandom - consumes danmei for free.

anyway this whole thing escalated and fan translators were brought into this for no fucking reason at all except that the people who didn’t want, or were unable to pay for the danmei they usually consume, made what i call a LOGICAL FALLACY in argument by going to the extremes, i will explain why later.

the end result is that fan translators were brought into this (most of them, the bigger ones i know at least) without even participating in the direct crossfire. and obviously, you can see why they’re hurt and decided to lock their translations. let me explain why

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🔺 kind of like four camps:

(1) translators and fans who criticized those who consume danmei liberally but do not pay for them in any way - no merch, no digital copies, no physical copies, no audio dramas whatever

*** their arguments:

danmei is so cheap right, that technically people should be able to pay for it in one way or another, even if not all

danmei and its authors are, at the end of the day, out here to earn a living, and the industry, like any money-making industry, is a for-profit enterprise - and unlike public goods, if you cannot afford danmei, then there is no obligation for others to make it free for you (fan translators or otherwise, it wasn’t super clearly stated while this shitshow happened) when it is inherently a for-profit industry

yes, i don’t deny that some of them did call the peeps who don’t pay at all, “leeches” and other sort of names. personally, i wouldn’t go that far or even like venture there to be honest because in general, if it’s something that i’ll get punched in the face for if i called someone that in real life i tend not to do it, but i’ll leave my opinions, whatever they’re worth, for later

(2) the readers and fans of danmei who do not pay in any sort of way for them

*** their arguments:

some of them really cannot afford, even the dollar or more, to spend on danmei for several reasons: upbringing, culture, money-spending mindsets, real poverty, struggling to make ends meet etc. - some definitely more valid than others (and when i say not valid, it’s because SOME, a minority or like those few stragglers, say they cannot afford and then you see them like idk, throwing $50 on other merch on kpop and stuff - i’m just bringing up ONE example. not shaming anyone for spending more money on one aspect rather than the other, but yeah you can see why some of them, when making this same argument, are a little invalid, that’s just a small number of them tho)

if translators are blaming them for consuming free of charge, then the fault lies, at its foundation, fan translators who translate illegally, which i mean, in that definition, all of them including me

did i mention that we were called illegal translators like you know in response to being called leeches? anyway-

(3) others translators who literally were just minding their own fucking business before some smart alec dragged them into it

i don’t think most of us had an argument. we were just quietly munching on popcorn and staying out of it and yeah, can you imagine, we provide a service, however illegal it is, for free on our own time, we don’t even check whether people support legally or not, we just... provide, and pray that those who are able to, at least support in some small way or another do so, on their own time. i mean i don’t check, most of us don’t, not the bouncers at your local club before COVID happened do, and then suddenly, to be used to derail an argument, we were called illegal translators. and that we should stop translating, and that it is our fault that there are free riders in the fandom

(4) people who offered to provide JJWXC credits to those who said they couldn’t afford it etc.

honestly i think they were just trying to help - no different than a gofundme. there’s no shame in taking a free thing that people already weren’t intending to pay for. it’s there, just take it!

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🔺 the shitshow that led to fan translators locking their stuff up:

i would provide some actual examples in the form of screenshots but i’ve blocked most of them, and i don’t want to direct any sort of traffic to them so i guess you’ll have to take my word on it or go search on twitter yourself but-

(1) the affordability issue: i can understand the frustration at being called leeches, and some if not a majority of people, do have valid reasons for not being able to afford something or anything and end up pirating content they enjoy. hey, i am not about to crucify anyone for pirating at some point in their lives. we all have done it at some point, or for example hate disney+ and that $30 they were trying to rip off us for a subpar Mulan live action. i don’t have anything to say about that. inherently, is it wrong and illegal? yeah sure of course it is. do we call people leeches? i wouldn’t go that far.

if anyone cannot afford, cannot access for whatever reason, fine, i’m not gonna go check if jjwxc truly is banned in your country, or is your postal service so terrible that you definitely won’t be able to receive a hard copy of the book you like at affordable rates.

and if you have to pirate? go ahead. i mean it’s always been a rampant thing. the only thing fan translators and fans can do is encourage, motivate and incentivise as much as possible to get people to support legally. they can only put up REALLY COMPREHENSIVE guides as to how to access jjwxc or taobao or whatever.

and if you still cannot afford it and pirate, honestly no one cares about the story behind it. you owe no one justification, just as how no other person is obligated to take it into consideration or understand you or empathize with you. i don’t say this in a malicious way - i do think that in general, you just do you.

(2) the poor people don’t deserve nice things argument: honestly, this was not the point of this entire debacle, altho yes, people were rude to those who could not afford to support legally. but this is not the point of this whole thing.

main point - there are free riders who can support but choose not to because they choose to just consume it for free and if you are able to you should support

everyone going off on a tangent - you guys hate poor people / you guys are leeches

well guess what, no one wins in this argument.

there were a lot of people saying “reading danmei is our only source of happiness, are you saying poor people who can’t access legally don’t deserve to read danmei” (this is just one example i’ve seen, there are other variations), and it wasn’t put across perhaps in the right way, but the other camp of people were saying “you’re not entitled to it for free if you cannot afford it”, which raised a lot of hackles and anti-poor yellings

altho i do not deny that there are those who mean it maliciously, i think what everyone is trying to say is - the danmei industry, like any other profit-making industry, is looking to make profits. the people working in the industry, the authors even, are looking at numbers - traffic to jjwxc or other legal platforms, how much revenue they’re making from their live actions etc., comments, rankings, etc. i think @/hunxi-after-hours made a really succinct post on this aspect which yall should read.

it’s the same as - if you wanted to purchase a standee which costs $20 USD, but you cannot afford it = you don’t get it. there’s no way you can get this standee unless some gifts it to you for free. what the camp trying to ask people to support legally is saying, is that danmei is NOT A PUBLIC GOOD. it is a private, for-profit product. it might be intangible, but it is a PRODUCT that has a price that needs to be paid.

if you cannot afford it, you either don’t get access entirely (i’m saying this objectively and honestly from an economic standpoint). if someone gifts that standee to you for free, count yourself lucky - if someone makes a danmei accessible to you for free, COUNT YOURSELF LUCKY. you don’t have to be grateful and treat them as gods or like obey their every word, but it’s not rocket science. someone did you a favour that you accepted and consumed, show some respect.

if you cannot afford to buy the standee - you do not go on twitter demanding that someone ensures that you have access to the standee for free. do you see how ridiculous this sounds once it’s a tangible product? and danmei novels ARE PRODUCTS. they are not FREE CONTENT. if someone cannot afford the standee, this is the equivalent of people going “we didn’t get the standee for free because poor people don’t deserve nice things”

totally missing the point. i don’t even know how it got to this. once again, i do admit that some users were unnecessarily mean, but going to the extreme of this is ridiculous. in argumentative essay writing we call this a logical fallacy:

e.g. “if you cannot pay for merchandise or danmei, it is a fact that you might not have access to it” morphing into “if we cannot pay for food, does this mean we cannot have access to it?!” - this is a slippery slope, and factors are not equivalent!!!! do they not teach people anything in school

don’t confuse fanfiction with danmei - danmei novels ARE PAID PRODUCTS unless for free chapters, just because it’s released online doesn’t mean it’s free public property, and also selected novels (did you guys know the WHOLE of SCI novel is free? about 500 chapters sorry, random, just a tidbit)

there are of course nuances right, like if anyone told me they were pirating disney+ content i’d be like yeah hey get one over those bloodsuckers, they take enough of our money and produce shit content anyway. the difference is that danmei authors, and the danmei industry itself can still be considered a nascent and not-yet matured industry, with a majority of authors if not all, depending on monetary flow, likes, comments, virality on the sites their content is hosted on, for a living, unlike hugeass MNCs trying to squeeze us dry for content that isn’t even interesting.

danmei is priced rather reasonably - and this brings me to another argument that was made, that the value of money is not the same for everyone. i don’t want to make comments on this because yes this is correct to a large extent. a $6 book might be cheap to most of us, but might be expensive to someone else. i’m not gonna comment on how cheap or whatever it is, if you gotta use your money for other things, definitely! i still maintain however, that a novel less than a dollar should be affordable to most people, a majority of people. and i definitely side eye some users who obviously have money but are just creating noise because they wanna continue free-riding

(4) the “they’re losing out on their international audience” argument: honestly, i feel like english-speaking danmei fandom gives themselves a bit too much credit. danmei has long thrived in china in its domestic market - sure the international audience is a plus to have and i’m sure the authors are grateful and flattered that people who don’t understand chinese love their content and love it a lot, but do they and their companies care about fans who basically don’t bring in money? i’m not sure (okay i’ll get to the fan translators doing illegal shit later okay i got it don’t be impatient)

and international fans are great, i don’t deny that - but when i see arguments like “oh but it’s their loss if they don’t cater or deny access to us, they get more popularity and sharing overseas”, i honestly think they don’t care as much as you think. once again, hunxi made a really good argument regarding non-sinophone audiences, but it really irks me, because this is the same as:

an instagram influencer saying they’ll give a restaurant exposure for free to their followers, if they get a free meal

it’s par for par - danmei authors wants earnings, popularity, tangible results that show that they are succeeding. this is life. if i put something out there for sale, i better be getting returns, simple economic logic. they probably don’t care that a non-paying reader is bringing them greater ‘exposure’ - once again, i mean this objectively.

and yes if they’re thriving without the international market then why should it matter that people are pirating right? which brings me to the next point~

(5) it’s fan translators faults for so many people pirating, and fan translators are the ones doing the “illegal” work: this one is like... wow where do i unpack this and how-

firstly, we are talking about assholes who can pay but decide to free ride and not pay for danmei, and we assume that if you really cannot afford and have to pirate, no one’s saying anything as long as you don’t go around spreading how to pirate, how the hell did it get to fan translators from “you guys are anti-poor” and whatever

yes, fan translations are indeed illegal, i don’t deny that, and i also don’t deny that there are translators who translate for clout and popularity but putting these aside - here’s what i have seen from people who ran their mouths and made this argument

“if you guys care about us pirating the book so much than fan translators shouldn’t have translated in the first place” and “if you wanna come after us for reading illegally, then fan translators, you guys should go get the copyright for the book and then translate it cuz what you guys are doing is also illegal”

hooooo i’m telling ya, i am all for translators locking up their translations at this point. see how fucking hurtful that is? you eat from my hand and then now you biting at the hand that fed you the gays in love?

honestly if you’ve made this argument or supported this, you can basically go to hell. yes this is personal because what, you think fan translators don’t take out their personal time and effort and hard work to make translations accessible to you? if you’re ever consumed and read translations, don’t be a hypocrite and make this argument. you benefitted from it, now you wanna say it’s their fault?

most translators want to share and spread the love they have for a novel right, want to show you how wonderful all these authors are, how much enjoyment u get from reading these wonderfully thought out stories of gays in love. yes we all know we are illegally translating, which is why on top of sharing we first, purchase the novels legally ourselves first, and then we try to encourage people to buy etc. and actually put their money to use. it doesn’t make it any less illegal, but we are bridging the gap between danmei and basically the english-speaking fandom, albeit illegally

we aren’t that self-important to ask for gratefulness but some respect would be nice. like i said, you read it, you consumed it, you enjoyed it, you can only access it because of illegal translators - a bit counter-intuitive to yell at these translators, who are simply telling you, if you can, please support. and none of us went “if you cannot afford, begone!”

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🔺 some people tried to help by offering jjwxc credits so people who cannot afford as they say, can get legal access: honestly, just take it right, guess what some of these users did in response

they said the people giving away credits are trying to redeem themselves for their comments by giving away free stuff

they also said that we are trying to shame the people who cannot afford it with this handout to them, to show that they are the bigger person - the fact that they think this is a handout to them is TELLING. the people offering this is giving their money not to these readers, but to the authors! that’s the point of this exercise!!!

one of them even said “instead of trying to do these giveaways, here, there are greater world problems out there, donate instead to these causes” - love the initiative, but how did we get from being able to afford danmei and entertainment content to saving the world? i just- i cannot

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🔺 so why i get why fan translators are locking up their translations, because wow, so hurtful:

you have no idea how many fucking assholes went “sure, lock up your translations, deal with the consequences” - ermmmm firstly, thanks for making a threat. like who the fuck do you think you are?

the consequences is... the authors still don’t get the money these free riders weren’t going to give them anyway, so no loss, and they weren’t reading on jjwxc anyway so you know, the authors don’t lose or gain any readership numbers or traffic they didn’t already have. instead, it WILL push and force people to pay for the PRODUCT. once again, it’s a product.

this works, and i’d say Word of Honor’s payment model worked marvellously for Youku, because they fucking forced everyone to pay to access content. ALL OF THEM. sure ok some people still pirated it, but how many MORE people paid on Youku, on Youku Youtube, watched on Viki etc. than if they didn’t? even english-speaking fandom were wracking their brains trying to purchase a Youku pass even if there were no subs initially - and other examples that lovely hunxi brought up in her amazing piece

and for translators?! honestly me for one, i’m glad i don’t feel pressured anymore to churn out a chapter every week since we get called names etc. most of us are glad to have a break to be honest. we’ve lost all motivation to translate because it’s a free service, at the very least we don’t expect like hate, or rudeass fuckers. for those who are doing a proof of purchase thing - go for it honestly!

hopefully it’ll minimize the free rider problem - some people for whatever reasons really cannot buy or support legally, that’s totally cool and they don’t have to justify it, i get that. but for others making the same argument but obviously are just unwilling to pay because they can’t read chinese, think it’s too troublesome when there are guides and translators provide it for free anyway so what’s the point - we all make concessions and make decisions to grab what we like (not talking about the ppl who have their various troubles and difficulties!)

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🔺 and those who are saying why is it the ‘rest of us suffer’ from locked translations just because of a few bad apples:

IT ISN’T ABOUT YOU. where the hell were all of ya when we were getting called illegal huh? it’s about us fan translators getting shot at for no reason, and then people still demanding things for free. i don’t see any of the people i’ve seen on tumblr complain about fan translators stopping or locking translations defend any of us in any way. instead, you’re complaining.

it is the translator’s prerogative to start, stop and end translations, unless of course the original author starts to sue i suppose. i see people on tumblr going like if they were gonna do this, they shouldn’t have started in the first place etc. - i don’t what world you live in, but when i do something for free, then get called names and am attacked or get dictated on how i should do something that’s already like free, i tend to be less generous.

i’m sorry, do us illegal and free translators owe ANY OF YOU? i wasn’t aware any of us were being paid for this hobby. readers, especially those who CAN and just refuse to support, don’t get to say SHIT. translators deal with so much shit and so many entitled readers, i say they get to lock whatever they want as long as they aren’t profiting off of this monetarily.

let me give you an example - nan chan, which is translated by lian yin, completed translations by the way for all chapters. it is all free for viewing, and she only locked up one extra and asked for proof of payment. some dumbfuck quotes that locked up extra chapter tweet and said “honestly, this turned me off reading this novel because they restricted access”.

the. fucking. entitlement. the whole of nan chan is free, that’s like what more than 80 chapters. she locked up the EXTRA and the money goes to the author, she doesn’t earn anything. AND HERE THAT BIJ is (yes, i’m going to call them names because you know, fucking asshole who didn’t bother to check) going “yeah i didn’t wanna read because 1/80+ chapters were locked”.

AN EXTRA. LITERALLY AN EXTRA!!!!!!

at the end of the day, translators are not like DYING to translate, not like some of you are DYING to read the translations. once again, this isn’t a “BE GRATEFUL” message, it’s a please be respectful to the people who put in time and hard work for free and share the goodness ya know? what’s the use of yelling at fan translators as if we owe you anything?

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🔴🔴🔴 TOO LONG DIDN’T READ 🔴🔴🔴

some people may need really need to pirate - and no one needs to justify why they cannot afford to purchase etc. pirating happens all the time, translators only hope that when you can, and in whatever way you can, to support legally - in general we don’t ask and we get it! we’re just annoyed that some people think that it SHOULD BE FREE, when it is a paid product, especially for those who CAN afford it

readers are not entitled to shit on translators for what they do with their translations - once again, you’re not OBLIGATED to have it. so what if i start and stop? i’m the one doing the work, i get the only say. don’t be a hypocrite and shit on translators, whose works you’ve read - it’s no loss for translators, we read and enjoy danmei just fine

yes, fan translations are illegal, but you can’t read and enjoy them like some of you have, and then turn around and point the finger at translators - a lot of us are happy to stop translating - this isn’t a threat, but at the end of the day, shitting on translators simply decreases access, and sure, some people can indeed live with you know, MTL or shitty translations from people who’ve learnt chinese for only six months or whatever, but you’re gonna be reading an entirely different book tbh

the people saying illegal translators are at fault - funnily enough, most of them consume the translations, so what the fuck? i mean we know it’s illegal, we’re trying to share the love and trying to minimize the illegalities of it by redirecting people to hopefully support legally. it’s still illegal yes, but i think it’s hypocritical for people who have read translations, stab translators in the back. and now that translators are indeed ‘restricting’ and ‘removing’ their ‘illegal translations’, yall yelling again? and threatening?

fan translators aren’t “elitist” or “classist” - just looking for some respect in a community which seems to have taken them for granted, and also looking for support for their fave authors - and honestly a lot of us were caught in the crossfires truly, don’t be an asshole and demand things from fan translators - who are you talking about? do you know why they decided to lock? do you know know what their locking system is like and what for?

it’s not EASY to lock the translations up - it’s more admin work, it’s putting together a whitelist of people, if given the choice i’m sure translators would prefer to share everything. but not when there are assholes who have a comment on how they should translate etc. and yeah!!! calling us illegal!! i mean we are but still!!

the last straw was seeing that post on tumblr and people in the comments going like fan translators shouldn’t or should do something, without getting the whole picture, without even considering how hard it is for fan translators being caught in this situation.

whoever puts in the work gets to decide, and everyone else should leave them alone.

be nice to the people who really cannot afford as they say so (or just don’t think about it), be nice to the translators feeding you content, and the people who free ride and shit on translators - honestly, i’d say ready the pitchforks.

edit: i forgot to mention this is my hot take and i’ve tried to like present all the arguments i’ve seen so far. i’m definitely not doing all of it justice and i don’t claim to speak on behalf of any of them except maybe one or two- and i’ve definitely left out stuff, but anyway, lmao we’re just tiny people doing what we love. i wish we could solve you know inequality or poverty or hunger or other pressing concerns. if i was that great i wouldn’t be stuck on tumblr or twitter or have to make posts like these like a loser.

thanks for coming to my ted talk.

#danmei #danmei twitter #rambles #long post #literally cannot take the stupidity of some people anymore

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todourouki · 4 years

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↲ Back to my BNHA Masterlist

i crash, u crash.

SUMMARY: Being with Dabi wasn’t easy and it probably never will be, but he just wants to make sure you’ll stick around. Or in which Dabi tries his best to show you he cares about you.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: based off i crash, u crash by lil peep! lol honestly idk about this one. but welcome back gift for me, from me, to you <3

PAIRING: Boyfriend!Dabi & Fem!Reader

WORD COUNT: 5,476

WARNINGS: Explicit Content, Dabi is toxic, Angst*, NSFW [18+] including spitting, slight daddy kink, squirting, slight overstimulation.

Sex with Dabi was always the same.

Routinely speaking, whenever he was back from a mission was the time you were expected to be on all fours waiting for his attention. It was always rough too, nothing short of angry and aggressive even if it was a form of “love-making.” He could call it what he wanted to though, he knew the universal term for his type of sex was simply fucking.

The positions and their timings were always on schedule. No more than 3 minutes in missionary— all the time in the world doing everything else. You never really got to touch him, and he’s never let you see his face when he came.

The relationship of hot and fiery sex mixed with an unrequited form of codependency grew to an actual romantic one somehow between the days and nights spent together, yet nothing of the dynamic ever changed. The only thing you could recall is that he groggily asked of you to “finally be his girlfriend since you already acted like it.”

Dabi was a complicated person. You never knew if he planned on waking up and deciding he wanted to be single, and honestly the day he decided to do such a thing wouldn’t be a surprise to you. He was an avid participator in the league of breaking hearts and even if you had more than enough knowledge on this, you allowed his sneaky smirk to seduce you into the sheets of his bed and hours of his days.

You eventually found yourself moving in, figuring out that he refused to sleep without the air conditioner on, never wore socks around the house, used way too much salt on his eggs, and never managed to close the curtains after he got out the shower. Above all that though, he never changed the way he fucked you.

Dabi loves you, of course you never had to question it or get reassurance. He showed you in minuscule ways such as stealing bringing you your favorite snacks after a long day without you, doing things such as buying double of what he gets from store runs because you’re in his mind all day, and telling you he’ll be safe for you once he walks out the door. He never says I love you, but he doesn’t need to.

It’s hard to get someone like him to change the way they are, so when you’re sitting on your shared bed flipping through a magazine and see a couples quiz linger across the page, you can’t help but try to feed yourself crumbs of his affection you know you’ll spend a lifetime searching for.

“How long did it take for you to realize you like me?” You broke the silence, squinting at the duo-skin toned man slouched across the wooden headboard.

You heard him chuckle, blinking longly at you with amusement glimmering within his cerulean irises. It wasn’t rare for Dabi to mock you for asking such a thing, but it was a rare moment for you to glare at him deadpanned and genuinely waiting for an answer. It fucking confused him.

“As long as it took you to make me cum the first time.”

You rolled your eyes, ignoring his comment enough to make him furrow his eyebrows. It wasn’t like you to not retaliate back, you were always quick to snap back at him. Hearing nothing but his own breathing as you skipped through pages made him furrow his eyebrows. He wanted to ask if you were okay— he really did, but then you’d think he cared.

And Dabi would be a terrible person if he let you know he cared.

The silence was nearly overbearing, nearly deafening in his ears as he tried his hardest to focus on anything but your serious expression haunting him in the back of his mind. Things like this rarely bothered him. It goes to say that Dabi was rarely ever bothered.

Sure, you never asked for much reassurance and never even did as much as ask if he meant it when he asked you out mid-nap, but he really did. Sure, you lived off the whim of thinking it was, but at least the raven haired man knew it was. Right?

The sound of the magazine slamming shut and getting thrown somewhere onto the bed broke Dabi of his thoughts. “I’m gonna’ pee.” You announced, mostly to no one in particular because your soft eyes refused to meet his own. Another rare occurrence.

You lied to Dabi for the first time in your life. Did you really have to pee? Of course not. Did you have to cry in the bathroom for a quick 2 seconds to release the pent up frustration of utter confusion? Of course you did. It was annoying— living with someone and only getting treated as if you were anything in the slightest to him when his dick was inside of you. He only ever fucks you rough and never lets you see his face, and he expects you to believe he wants to be with you?

After cleaning your solemn face from dry tears, your body grudgingly made its way out the bathroom and to the bed. Your presence within the studio was clear, panties strewn across the open drawers mixed with Dabi’s briefs, shoes tucked neatly compared to Dabi’s boots tossed lazily near the door, and perfume bottles layering up against the old brown dresser. You took a quick glance at a picture of you hanging on the wall, a familiar raven-headed man’s arms wrapped around your head as he towered over your frame with his head resting across your head.

It was never worth the confusion.

“Why were you crying?” His dark voice rang out, making you slightly flinch as you dented the soft mattress with your frame.

A quick shake of the head will do, you thought to yourself as you followed your own orders. You knew Dabi wouldn’t push to find out what was wrong, he never does. And he doesn’t, lips shut as he takes a drag from some cigarette he’s smoking and giving you a longing look of aggravation. It’s even less of a surprise for him to do such a thing.

“If you have something to tell me, then I suggest you do it.” If you hadn’t known Dabi for as long as you do, you’d probably assume he was being condescending and outright rude. Because you do know him though, you know that’s exactly how he’s trying to come off to you.

You dreaded it. The eventual confrontation that was inevitable from the moment you accepted to be his girlfriend— it all led to this moment in space and time. You felt exactly how you predicted you’d feel, sick and intimidated. Not necessarily by Dabi because you know he’d never hurt you, but intimidated by the fact that it’s as easy as 1-2-3 for him to up and leave depending on your answer.

“What are we, Dabi?” And there it goes, 1-2-3.

It was like hearing a pin drop. Nobody moved, nobody spoke, nobody did anything for the first three seconds following the ultimatum. He knew he had two options: answer genuinely and reveal information he’d die before releasing, or leave you high and dry yet again for his own benefit when it comes to the mere idea of using words he doesn’t use in bed.

Staring into your eyes never scared him, he cremating people for a living, but knowing that lying behind them were tears falling for your reflection rather than on his shoulder caused a pang to hit his chest. It was unfamiliar and unusual, but looking at your body begin to leave its space in the bed in frustration with his quietness made him snap. You were serious for the first time.

“I’m not going to repeat myself.” Your words were harsh, harsher than usual and you yourself couldn’t even tell where this newfound energy came from.

You were okay. You were okay with whatever this complicated situationship was, and you probably would have still been okay with it if you hadn’t gotten too deep in over your head and let his words get to you. Him saying he realized he liked you coincidentally while you fucked should be above you, yet here you are.

“Jesus doll, relax.” He taunted, hands reaching out to grab your arm in a fit of confusion and annoyance, “just come back to bed Y/N.”

You felt it - the minute he touched your arm and released the tiniest bit of heat coming off his palm - just how tense he was becoming. He knew once you put your mind to something, it was difficult to get you to move away from it. He knew that there was no escaping this conversation.

It was inevitable really, the fact that one day (which was, unfortunately for him, today) you would question the legitimacy of his emotions for you. You were carefree just like him, that’s why he fell for you. But you were also blunt. If you felt a way, you were going to say it and that’s that.

Easily, the scarred hand gripping onto your arm slid over to your clenched jaw. You didn’t mean to give him a hard time for not looking his way—with the way his fingers squeezed deep into your skin and tilted your head towards him, you knew you did. It almost repulsed you with how obedient your body was to his touch, glancing at him with no shame other than the dried tears threatening to spill over.

“I’m gonna tell you the one time and I’ll never repeat myself,” he threatened, voice treading amongst angry waters as his blue eyes bored into yours, “I’m serious.”

You stood your ground, eyes taking away from your scowling expression as they swirled in curiosity. It didn’t take much to make you lower your frame onto the edge of the bed, a sigh escaping your lips as you pulled the t-shirt past your exposed panties.

“I don’t say much when it comes to you, or even to when it’s about you—but you’re all I am.” Your eyebrows furrowed, clear confusion written in your face.

“What does tha—” “I’m talking.” Dabi’s aggravated expression never left, not even with the joint hoisted between his lips in nothing but frustration.

“I got nothing to give you, nothing but collected calls from jail and maybe some jewelry I stole cause I got bored. I don’t have any money, anything to my name, and nothing but a spot on the police and hero department’s most wanted list.” His words made you frown, the clear self-depreciation outweighing the cocky and arrogant attitude you once knew to belong to the man infront of you.

“I can’t look you in the eye, show you my face when you milk my cock clean— can’t do shit like that,” Dabi’s smirk was quick to appear, your eyes rolling as you met his serious gaze yet again, “probably won’t be able to take you out the country either unless we run far, far away from here.”

“But nothing I say or do will ever express the way I feel about you.” And now it’s Dabi’s turn for the 1-2-3 process, because that statement in itself made your brain stop working.

Your brain couldn’t comprehend the fact that Dabi’s free hand was circling your bare thigh, moving closer and closer to where he most felt at home. His words never faltered though, only slightly pausing to smoothly slip his hands onto the soaked folds of pink lace.

His words were thrown against empty ears. You couldn’t focus on the words flowing within the room due to the ever-growing heartbeat pulsing between your thighs. Dabi’s hand sank into your leg, heat splitting between your skin enough to hiss and throw your head back.

“From this perfect pussy,” he applied pressure to the space between your legs, the wet patch inducing a smile from his once blank expesssion. The sudden contact caused a gasp to slip from your panting lips. Almost instinctively, Dabi pressed his thumb against your tongue, “to this smart ass mouth, it’s all I need to wake up in the morning.”

Your mind was now blank. All you could think about was the feelings of Dabi's heated fingertips dancing against the confining cotton of your panties. He always had the ability of doing this to you— dumbifying you with nothing but the pads of his fingertips and making you beg for his tongue.

Watching you pant under him nearly made the expressionless man shudder in pleasure. Dabi wasnt a liar, anything and everything he's ever said being some mangled up verbal example of his brain. He was far from the type to express his feelings, show anything other than smugness and oversuimulation, and dedicate his entire life to another person.

He was far from the type, yet managed to become a perfect example of a significant other who's life slowly but surely becomes solely to live for another person. The other person in this situation, was you.

You felt him begin to leave swollen burn bubbles on the outer layer of your skin, legs shaking in a way that brought the two of you out of your racing minds.

His motions stopped, yet hands showed no intention on moving from its current place. He was staring at you intensely - as intensely as he could - to assert his egotistical dominance but you knew the truth.

And as Dabi lowered your frame into the soft, plush white sheets, he realized he knew the truth as well. Your eyes were dazed, irises looking at all of him at the same time as your body swallowed in his touch and he knew. Dabi knows deep down no matter how much taller, bigger, or dominant he ever tried to be, he would worship the ground you walked on with the blink of an eye.

Your hands found his cold cheeks, tongue still stuck to your bottom lip with Dabi's harsh finger circling the pink muscle. Not a word was said, or per say, not a single word needed to be said. The energy surrounding the one-roomed apartment was enough for the two of them.

Before you, Dabi was known to be something of a martyr. He fooled women, toying with their souls the same way he toyed with their bodies and cried trauma when they threatened to leave. He kept a string on every one he ever fucked, being cautious enough to keep them at the heel of his feet for a fun time when he felt he had enough of you.

Then, he got addicted. He drowned in your drive, finding for the first time in his life some sort of comfort. Your natural warmth, your smile, your understanding— you were someone Dabi would find himself laughing at for thinking they actually existed.

"You're gonna get tired of me one day," he bitterly smiled, eyeing you deep into your skull with nothing but sadness laced in an angry distraction, "you're gonna find some hero and leave me here all on my own."

He wanted to think he wouldn't care. If the time where you decided to go back to the better things in life, leave a lowlife villain who wants to destruct the government, and live a rich healthy lifestyle, he knew you didn't do anything less but deserve it. You were too good for him, better than anyone he's ever known in his life for as long as he'd live.

With a soft whimper, your hands turned his head from his lowered expression over to your soft eyes. He hated how quick you got him to look at you, and he especially hated how quick you made his breath stop.

"Hey," you whispered, soft smile still glowing even though you realized he had intentionally lowered his voice as well as his lips from your sight. The vulnerable expression the raven-haired man was trying his hardest to not get you to see brought a rough pang to your chest.

"You crash, I crash. Always."

Your words hit him, and boy did they hit Dabi hard. The time it took for the word always to softly slip off your tongue was just enough time for Dabi to realize the depth of your words.

They were the same ones that fell between your lips when he thought he was dying, when you thought you were dying, and now. Dabi was complex - that was evident - but he was also the simplest man you knew. All he ever really needed was some reassurance.

It was long before his fingers found their way into your scalp, slipping over the crevices of your neck and gripping onto the back of your head as if his life depended on it. All you could do was gasp.

"Can I touch you?" The words were like a record scratch, repeating through the scarred man's brain all too much to keep anyone sane.

He couldn't tell if it was the slur of your words, or if it was your soft hands running across his thick shoulders as the words whispered into his ears— whatever it was made him take up the obligation of doing anything and everything you said.

It wasn't soon before you found yourself slamming your lips against his, the sensation causing you both to moan. You couldn't tell the difference between his hands and yours, tangled limbs falling deep into the plush comforter covering your shared bed. His weight above you did nothing but encourage you to wrap your bare limbs against his now shirtless one on, hands running through the raven locks above your head.

The minute you felt the heated pads of his fingertips lower themselves down your abdomen, your head shook underneath his and caused him to part his lips from its home on yours.

"Hmph," you groaned, pouting as your hands traveled down to his jeans and began to fiddle with the zipper, "I want to feel you in me now."

Dabi was used to being in control. He was used to ordering your body around, telling you what to do and how to do it. In the bedroom, Dabi made the orders. So when he parted his lips from yours and stood over your body with his scarred hands shoving his pants down his thighs, you couldn't do anything less than moan. Knowing he was taking what you said into consideration brought chills to your skin.

"You sure you're ready for this, sweetheart?" He smirked, legs coming out of the restricting jeans he wore and leaving his tall and lean frame in nothing but gray briefs.

Dabi had a lot to brag about, in the most respectful way possible.

Your hands clawed at his waistband, giggling as you pulled his body all the way back to its original position of resting above you and let the underwear go with a loud smack. Being eye to eye with someone like Dabi was scary, no point in denying that. Her there was something about it that just drove the two of you insane— and he couldn't tell if I was anything short of love.

He silenced himself, attaching his lips to yours and preoccupying a hand into pulling his briefs down just enough. And by just enough, it meant just enough to brush your clothed clit as his painfully hard cock stretched up to his stomach. You couldn’t do anything but flinch, hands reaching out to grip his thick girth and slap it across your clothed pussy.

“Let me do it.” You smiled, eyes boring into Dabi’s own blue ones. Your free hand slipped your panties to the side, his mushroom tip dancing against the rim of your wet hole and causing the two of you to release a soft groan into one another’s face.

If there was one thing Dabi would never get tired of, it would be the feeling of your velvet walls sucking his dick closer into you. Nothing short of sensation hit him the minute your hands shoved the head in, and his almost fell inlove with the view of you watching his large length disappear into your own heaven.

It was hard for you to not cum from his entrance. Even as he bottomed out, your teeth sealing a scream from leaving your throat by pressing into his shoulder, did you realize just how big Dabi was. No matter how skinny, lean, and weightless he seemed, the girth and length on Dabi’s third leg when he was stuffing himself into you never failed to surprise you. Even through the self-inflicted pain of going into this without foreplay, you knew there was nothing that would ever fill you up as amazing as Dabi does.

“Fuuuck,” you dragged out into his earlobe, tongue licking a strip of his patched skin from your bite-mark to the lobe of his pierced ears, “you’re so big.”

He couldn’t help but whimper (another thing on Dabi’s list or shit he doesn’t do but now does because of you), the feeling of your tongue circling his ear as your pussy gripped onto his fleeting cock nearly felt like too much. It didn’t help that you were moaning and whispering in his ear with nothing but pure sex laced in your words.

“You know,” he breathed out, beginning to create a routine with his hips bottoming harshly into your cervix and slowly dragging out in a timely fashion, “this is the best pussy I’ve ever had.”

He thinks it’s a compliment, but really it stirs awake the competitive bone in your body. You ignore it though like you always do, choosing to appreciate the fact that he considers you the best at atleast something.

His hand gripped onto your neck, bringing neon stars and dots of blackness to conceal your view of cerulean eyes. Nothing but the lewd sounds of Dabi pushing his dick into your wet hole filled the room, sprinkles of your whimpers and his groans mixing amongst the darkness of the apartment.

Dabi was trouble. He never felt in control of his feelings, never knew what he would want in life, and never bothered to consider living for someone other than himself. It’s moments like these with you though, that makes him realize the God he wakes up thinking about rests between the gap in the middle of your heavenly thighs. He’d killed people before, but the power you held over him was enough to make him consider killing everyone on earth if you’d ask.

You felt him begin to grow impatient, hips pounding into your frame and causing your body to jolt up and down harshly. Words couldn’t describe how amazing Dabi felt inside of you right now. His tip crushed your cervix within every thrust, and it was Dabi’s fingers that lifted your gaping face from the trance of watching him fuck into you to his own face.

“I-I cant.” You began to slip out, tears growing against your eyes as Dabi’s hot fingers began to flick your swollen clit. You swear it’s only been like ten minutes, or maybe Dabi’s huge dick pushing against your cervix was beginning to fuck you stupid. “You’re gonna’ make me cum— make me cum too fast daddy.” You cried out, fingers dragging against the stapled back as you felt Dabi purposely drag one of the piercings located on his tip across your pulsating velvet walls. It was almost too good to be true, and you couldn’t help yourself from kicking his waist over you and forcing his body underneath you. He didn’t even have the courtesy to wipe the smirk off his sweating face.

“Get to work, doll.”

You knew why he spoke to you with such condensation. You also knew exactly why his hands pressed into your ass cheeks as you found your home on top of his bare lap. His scarred torso leaned against the black bed frame, and you decided right then and there that Dabi deserved to get his brains fucked out. So you did exactly what he told you to do— you got to work.

You were wet enough to take him some more, knees straining as you finally pushed his length deep into your stomach. The silent scream that left your lips didn’t go unnoticed though, your fingers that now gripped his cheeks pressing between his lips to keep his teasing menstruations to himself. Dabi’s eyes couldn’t come off your body, and honestly he wished they never had to.

Keeping a grip on your stomach and your ass cheek, an enflamed slap brought a powerful burn across your ass cheek and caused you to jolt against his penis.

“Jesus Dabi, a-are you trying to kill me?” You weakly pleaded, and it didn’t take long for your fucked our expression to start slurring your words.

The sound of you dropping your frame onto his body filled the room, your hips rolling against your clothed clit and bringing sensation you weren’t sure if you could handle. You were trying to focus, but the feeling of Dabi heating a hand up across your ass and slowly beginning to meet your thrusts caused your brain to jumble into a mess of nothing but him.

“Fuck, baby you look so good when you start to get stupid.” He smirked, lips running against the cleavage of your bouncing breasts and lazily sucking on the moving nipple in front of him.

You wanted to fight back, and you wanted to defend yourself against him thinking you we’re starting to get stupid. You really wanted to— the only issue being that you couldn’t. You couldn’t the minute Dabi found a way to meet your thrusts and roughly tilt your neck back up towards the ceiling.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Was all you could cry out as you began to grow impatient in your lower abdomen. It just felt too good. And as if to add injury to insult, your walls began to clamp up from the feeling you knew was coming soon. Dabi paid the price.

You’d never seen his eyes get this wide, eyebrows furrowed as his mouth gaped open in shock. His eyes found its way down, the sight of your pussy gripping and swallowing his dick back in and out being something he wishes he could see all day and that’s when Dabi realizes that he is inlove with everything about you.

“It’s like your perfect pussy was made for me, baby.” He whimpered out, smirking between hooded eyes as he struggled to regain some of his consciousness. You were way too good at bouncing on his dick, and he couldn’t help but begin to meet your thrusts with more precision as he felt himself near orgasm.

“A-all for you! Always all- always all for you daddy!” You cried out, voice struggling to come out as you threw your hands against Dabi’s chest and began to bounce as if your life depends on it.

You hate doing all the work, honestly you really do dislike it. But this has been the longest Dabi has allowed you to ride him and the feeling of you literally milking his cock at your own disposal was an offer too good to ruin.

“I know it’s all for me, princess.” He whimpered out, a hand gripping the back of your neck and pulling it low enough to slam your chapped lips against his own. “Wanna know something, baby?”

The words vibrating against your own moans got lost in the sound, your headboard forcibly slamming against the wall only louder as every other thrust from you gradually grew rougher with your urge to cum. Your brain couldn’t do anything less than feverishly nod, hands slipping back onto your body and allowing Dabi to drill into you from underneath. Gasps slipped out of your parted lips with a hand gripping his black hair and the other begging to rub your own clit.

“You crash, I crash forever, right baby?” He moaned out, the words entering your ears and making you cry out with tears finally spilling down your eyes from nothing but intense pleasure.

“Fuck yes daddy, forever!” You cried out, body beginning to hunch over as you felt the pressure in your stomach compared to the way Dabi slammed into you become too much.

“Good, doll,” he moaned, pushing you so far into him, the heartbeat in your pussy was sure to be vibrating onto the veins of his dick, “so do me a favor.”

Everything happened much too fast, your dizzy state only increasing as Dabi grabbed your body harshly and tossed you back underneath him. There you were again, tossed carelessly under him with your legs trembling and pussy stuffed with all of Dabi in his glory. His lips found our ear again, licking your lobe and sucking on it right after.

“Cream all over my cock so I can stuff you up with my kids, deal?” He smirked into you, jolting into you as soon as the last word resonated on all ears.

Soon enough, he found it in himself to thrust into you like never before. You could barely breath, gasping for air as you felt your vagina began to vibrate due to stage of pleasure you were in. And just like that, your body began to run from the overstimulation of Dabi’s hot finger rubbing roughly against your clit as he drills your frame into the crevices of your mattress.

“Da-daddy I’m gonna’....” The words just couldn’t come out— he was begging to fuck you dumb.

You couldn’t feel nothing but Dabi’s dick pound into you, and if this was all you felt before you fell into a sex-coma than fuck it. It will forever and always be worth it.

It was like you were starting to see white. The feeling of one of his hands now roughly gripping your drooling expression closer to his face made you scream in pleasure, Dabi’s smirk leaving only to release a trail of saliva from his throat into the back of yours. You swallowed it with no hesitation, some of the residue slipping through your lips in a mix with your own spit as you began to drool at the feeling of his tip hitting that one spot over and over again.

And that’s when you felt it. You felt the build up, the pressure of holding back becoming too much as you belted into a mess of tears and tried to push his body off your own.

“No baby,” he roughly said, milking his cock into you even harder and rubbing pressured circles into your clit until a strong snapped within you and you saw nothing but white.

You weren’t sure if it was a sub-space you had entered, or some fucked up version of heaven people who just for their brains fucked out go, but either option felt like fair-game the minute your pussy began to squirt a mess of cum and other liquids from the space Dabi still found himself intruding. If anything boosted his confidence, it was this right here.

“Fuck yes baby, squirt for daddy,” he smirked, rubbing you harder and harder as your felt your body stiffen at the overstimulation, “fuck, you’re so hot.”

As soon as you, Dabi found himself cumming harder than he ever had, lips only being able to cry out a mantra of your name. He knew sex with you was amazing— but this was a new high he doesn’t think he’d ever went to let go of. He didn’t even have the energy to lift himself out of you, small drips of cum able to slip out of your swollen pussy making you flinch in both overstimulation and pain. The cockwarming brought chills to your arm, body sprawled underneath Dabi’s panting frame in nothing but a fucked our expression.

You felt him lift his head up, eyes glancing over your puffy closed ones and being able to do nothing more than steal a kiss from your tongue-licked lips. He knows the difference between “fucked-out” you and “genuinely-knocked-out” you, and you knew he knew the difference too. But he acted as if he didn’t.

And before Dabi could pass out on top of your sweaty and sticky frame, words he mumbled into your shoulder nearly burned into your skin. At least, just enough to make your pussy and lips twitch in nothing but contentness.

I crash, you crash. Forever and always.

Sex with Dabi was always the same— sure. It was rough, messy, and painfully over-stimulating, but it was Dabi, and it was more than enough for you.

Your mind was now blank. All you could think about was the feelings of Dabi’s heated fingertips dancing against the confining cotton of your panties. He always had the ability of doing this to you— dumbifying you with nothing but the pads of his fingertips and making you beg for his tongue.

Watching you pant under him nearly made the expressionless man shudder in pleasure. Dabi wasnt a liar, anything and everything he’s ever said being some mangled up verbal example of his brain. He was far from the type to express his feelings, show anything other than smugness and oversuimulation, and dedicate his entire life to another person.

He was far from the type, yet managed to become a perfect example of a significant other who’s life slowly but surely becomes solely to live for another person. The other person in this situation, was you.

You felt him begin to leave swollen bubbles on the outer layer of your skin, legs shaking in a way that brought the two of you out of your racing minds.

Your hands found his cold cheeks, tongue still stuck to your bottom lip with Dabi’s harsh finger circling the pink muscle. Not a word was said, or per say, not a single word needed to be said. The energy surrounding the one-roomed apartment was enough for the two of them.

“You’re gonna get tired of me one day,” he bitterly smiled, eyeing you deep into your skull with nothing but sadness laced in an angry distraction, “you’re gonna find some hero and leave me here all on my own.”

He wanted to think he wouldn’t care. If the time where you decided to go back to the better things in life, leave a lowlife villain who wants to destruct the government, and live a rich healthy lifestyle, he knew you didn’t do anything less but deserve it. You were too good for him, better than anyone he’s ever known in his life for as long as he’d live.

“Hey,” you whispered, soft smile still glowing even though you realized he had intentionally lowered his voice as well as his lips from your sight. The vulnerable expression the raven-haired man was trying his hardest to not get you to see brought a rough pang to your chest.

“You crash, I crash. Always.”

3K notes · View notes

alias-b · 4 years

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OKAY. So, I wasn’t gonna dignify this with an answer, but I’m feeling super good and starting my vacation and have few things to lose tbh. I blocked you, but you’ll find a way back if you feel this is really worth it.

You certainly found it worth it enough to slap that anon button to insult me and dress it up as idk ?? being helpful & even kind in your mind?? If you followed my fics, you know the nasty msgs I get monthly so why would I take a personal jab as from a good place? Why would anyone mean to act “holier than thou” ???? Telling me you’re not coming from a bad place....yet you still went anon bc you knew how this read. Hm. Anyways....to answer, I’ll just unpack this neatly:::

1) ???? When did I say ANY of that even in a talk down/negative context??? lmao I even searched my asks trying to find myself being this rude. Slide into my DMs and let me know bc from my POV, you’re blatantly misreading something or making it up?? I’m confused and of course, I’d never want to come across any kind of way like that! If I ever mention young ppl, I mean actual teenagers in fandom spaces that adults get nasty interacting with. Ppl in their 20s/30s+ really need to be mindful about interacting with ppl under 18 and attacking them or being creepy and inappropriate with them/their content. Don’t twist my words.

Ppl who write thin OCs still get hate on their fics lmao, I did. But they don’t get constant hate generally based on their size or race. ((Also like...we’re all aware of fatphobia & racism in fandom and what types of OCs/characters are targets for that...esp if they’re being paired with favs... Writers of color are absolutely also allowed their frustrations with racism in fandom spaces btw too. Do not talk over them. Just listen and be aware. Do your best.))

2) I absolutely DO NOT think I’m better or “more moral/braver” than any other writer on here wtf, I consider myself even “still young” and learning... I’m in my 20s, I’m not a fandom gma trying to police anyone??? As long as you’re living your best life, surrounded by the best content YOU want, go tf off, sis!!! We’re all in a pandemic here trying to get by.

Writing is always a growing process and we’re doing it for free, it’s not perfect and always is a skill that gets better as we do it. I try not to compare myself to others, my fics are mine and that’s IT. I’m allowed to be proud of what I’ve created and I encourage all writers to do the same. A lot of writers are happy and patting themselves on the back for what they created but I’m NOT taking digs or doing it cause I think I’m some brave crusader on a mission. I’m too tired for that bull. I don’t get/want cool points for anything. Have you sent these concerns to any one else for doing the same??? Or are you irked I’m trying to uplift MY fat character?? That I get constant hate for??? More reflection for you.

3) I’ve been incredibly supportive of OCs of all shapes and sizes. I’ve gotten asks shading thin/white “model” ocs and only ever preached patience and support to all oc writers bc it’s never right to bring someone down to lift someone else up. It’s never right to shame a writer not hurting anyone. All OCs are good OCs. That’s the point I always make!! Writing is hard. Finding face claims is hard. Making whole ass humans for a fictional world is hard. So, I’m constantly posting/replying to be open and understanding with writers, whatever they do. It’s their fic. Their characters. Their choices. All OCs are valid.

No one is obligated to make a specific type of OC, just make the OCs you want to see. I don’t think it’s right to hate or shade ANY writer/OC and I make it clear in asks that try to suggest otherwise. Maybe go reread them before slapping that brave anon button again to come from ‘a good place.’

4) Evie is ONE of FIVE OCs I’ve written on this account. And the only plus size OC of them too so IDK why I’d ever act ‘holier than thou’ about a SINGLE OC when the numbers are 1 of 5 here... I’m not gifting the fandom the gift of me, I’m just writing content I enjoy. I’m gifting it to my damn self. There’s no crusade. There’s no BIG STATEMENT UWU. She’s not some political piece, y’all can be so dehumanizing with that toward fat characters or characters of color. Just let them exist proudly. If you don’t like it maybe they’re really not for you!

Evie’s literally just a character I created that I adore. Fat characters exist and they can be whatever we writers want. If people feel represented by her, I think that’s amazing and I so so appreciate when I’m told. It’s a special thing to see yourself represented when you never do in fandom or mainstream spaces!! She represents parts of me too that I’m still learning to love. But if not, I’m sure she’s still relatable. She has a whole personality beyond being a plus size girl bc being fat is not her defining trait. We absolutely should encourage more positive diversity in fandom, esp in main characters. Everyone of all sizes writing about what they look like is awesome! We agree on that point!

5) Evie is one of five ocs. Again. I’ve gotten hate messages and passive aggressive comments for all three of my big fics. Evie has ONLY EVER gotten hate for her size and race. She’s gotten a LOT. ((sometimes her eating disorder, but that’s another issue)) And yeah, it doesn’t shock me. It’s too transparent. People who relate to her don’t deserve that shame either.

I hadn’t even started posting the actual fic before I got my first hate msg about her being an “oc reach bc billy hates fat chicks” whatever. So I think I’m allowed to defend and stan her that much harder and her role in this fic. I think I’m allowed to gush about how much I love her story against all the disgusting hate she gets. I’m not apologizing for that. Me loving Evie super hard has nothing to do with anyone else’s OC. It’s not a mission. It’s not a dig. She’s mine.

**So no, anon, I don’t think I’m doing any big, in your face, public service with my ONE plus size oc. I don’t think I’m better. I think I’m just creating content for myself to enjoy. If others enjoy it too, awesome!! If not, they’ll find something else to enjoy. It’s a big space with lots of amazing writers, I can even direct you to a few!!! I’m happy to do that!! ****If I really had an issue with white or skinny ocs....I wouldn’t be writing them myself which I DO. I wouldn’t be supporting my fellow writers who also write them!!

So you’ll excuse me if I don’t believe that you actually support Evie or me or my fics. All this message served to do was dwindle an author’s excitement for her OC and accomplishments. And you didn’t do that. I’ll try even harder to support fellow writers around me tho!! ^_^

If this is a big misunderstanding bc you misreading asks that I’ve gotten or you misread my tone or remarks anywhere, that’s really not my issue either. IDK, maybe I’m popping off too much too, but this accusation is truly mean-spirited. I know things don’t always translate over the internet well, but I’ve been openly loving and supportive to fellow friends and authors despite anything that’s been said. Even through laundry lists of passive aggressive and hateful messages about my stories since my first fic took off. I’ve seen friends get hate too and I can’t stand that they have to deal with that. They SHOULD be proud of their works always.

I know I don’t deserve them and I know I don’t deserve this either. I know who I am at the end of the day and I know what I put into the world and I know that my fics are mine first. I know my truth and I hope you know yours behind that anon button.

So, thank you for your concerns but please drop them somewhere else and have a wonderful day enjoying the free content we put out. Support your favorite writers and encourage all writers to keep doing what they love and getting better at it! Thanks!!! xoxo :)))

#anon hate #plus size ocs #sis...aren't we tired?#ya girl is feral now and anyways I love Evie and her story and her character.#reply #ask #anon

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disasterdeacy · 5 years

Text

Anything You Ask

A/N: Okie, so quite a few people, like 7 of y’all requested an early 70s Bri fic, and like 4 of those requests were specifically asking for Tenerife, so HERE YA GO! S/O to Tori @meddows-taylors for helping me with this in our RP, ilysm bitch. Word Count: 13.9k (y’all idk) Pairing: Brian May x Reader Time Frame: 1970 Summary: Y/N and Brian have been friends and research partners for 2 years, but on a trip to Tenerife, everything changes Warnings: 18+, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Unprotected Sex, Like, Graphic Unprotected Sex, Wrap it Before You Tap it, Someone Get These Kids Some Gatorade and a Ciff Bar.

God, you hated planes, trains, busses, fuck, and at this point absolutely anything that wasn’t a stable mattress in a cool room.

The plane ride from London to Tenerife had been long, hot, cramped, and extremely uncomfortable, but it hadn’t been uncomfortable for the reason most people would think. No, it had honestly been quite roomy despite the cramped nature. It was uncomfortable because you had been sat next to resident shy boy, probable love of your life, and angel faced baby, Brian May.

The curly haired boy and you had been friends for a little over two years, meeting in your first PhD level course after graduating from Imperial with our Bachelors. You’d been instantly intrigued by the man, the way he dressed screamed “Extrovert with a wild sense of humor and definitely could rock your world when given the chance” and yet, when you spoke to him that morning, he couldn’t even hold your gaze, his long fingers instead focused on picking fuzz off of the red velvet of his trousers.

Brian May was an enigma wrapped in a goddamn paradox... and you are 347% certain that you are head over heels in love with him. When the two of you had decided to do a joint dissertation on the radial velocities of zodiacal light, you both knew that you would be spending an insane amount of time together, most of it in Spain. You had been overjoyed at the prospect, desperate to spend as much time possible with the sweet demure boy, and yet here you were. Your body was practically on fire as the two of you headed to our hotel, where Brian had only managed to get a single room, cramped in the backseat of the taxi we’d hailed from the taxi rank outside the airport.

His hair smelled like orange blossoms, that’s all you could think… fucking hell, you were definitely screwed this trip.

Brian’s foot taps against the floor of the taxi, his long legs cramped in the small car as he tries to give you as much room as possible. He’s chewing nervously at his thumbnail as he watches the scenery go by. He was beyond excited to be here in Tenerife with you to work—you were a bloody genius and he admired you greatly. He knew the two of you would have an amazing time and do incredible research.

But he was also dreading it. Because you were the smartest, prettiest, funniest, loveliest person he’d ever met and he could barely even look at you without getting flustered! Roger teased him about it endlessly, but he couldn’t help it.

When the taxi pulls up to the hotel, Brian unfolds himself out of the car, immediately going to gather the bags. He gets yours, too, smiling bashfully at you. “No, I’ve got it! You go in and get the room keys.”

He can’t help but look you up and down as you walk away from him, before he quickly averts his eyes from your ass, feeling guilty.

‘Jesus, Brian. Control yourself.’ He scolds himself as he follows you inside, strategically holding the suitcases in front of his lap...

A large smile and small blush overtakes your face upon Brian insisting on getting your bag. Goddamnit, could he be anymore perfect? You hold up your hands in mock surrender and headed inside the hotel, sighing in relief as the AC hit you like a brick. Tenerife was hot, it was July, and you were NOT about to sweat your ass off in front of Brian for the next, who knows how long... you’d not exactly booked return flights.

Strolling up to the front desk you smile at the attendant, giving them Brian’s name and expecting everything to be in order. He’d called 4 months earlier and booked a double room, just to save some money, you’d been the one to suggest it.. just.. hoping that maybe, JUST MAYBE Brian would finally see you in the same light that you saw him, if he was forced to room with me.

“Hola! Um.. reservation for May.” The lady at the desk simply smiled you, opened her book, highlighted the aforementioned reservation, handed you two keys, and wished you a good time. Everything seemed all nice and normal, until you arrived at the door to the room. Brian was already there waiting for you, sitting languidly on your suitcase, picking at his nails. He hadn’t noticed you.

“You know, you’re going to end up ripping your nail clean off if you keep doing that Bri. “

His head shoots up to look at you, loose curls bouncing, and he stands quickly—just narrowly missing smashing his head against the door frame.

He blushes like mad, though he grumbles at you, at least the banter was safe and familiar territory.

“I can study the stars without a thumbnail.”

He jokes, but stops picking at it in order to move the bags out of your way as you unlock the door.

He walks in, stopping short when he sees the single bed

“Oh.”

Christ, he’d forgotten all about it, they’d booked this trip so far in advance. God, he had to share the bed with you. Fuck. Maybe he could take the floor? No, that would seem rude. And weird. Friends shared beds all the time, right?

You roll your eyes at Brian’s comment, shaking my head a bit as you opened the door, mouth dropping a little in shock when you see the single bed. Oh fuck, you’d completely fucking forgotten it wasn’t a fucking double room.. You completely sympathized with Brian’s little oh, because that’s.. um....

“I-I can go down and see if they have another room if you want.. if they have a double room?”

You really didn’t want to, you wanted to sleep in the same bed as Brian, wanted to.. god you just wanted to fucking cuddle with him! How lame is that.

“I-um, I don’t mind it, but if you’re uncomfortable with it, I completely understand..” You are leaning against the bathroom door, picking at your own nails now.. a little nervous for what he was going to say.

He shakes his head quickly, not wanting to cause any problems “No!”

The word is nearly squeaked out, and he takes a moment to clear his throat, trying to seem calm. “No, this is fine. As long as my feet don’t hang off the bed.”

The joke is a weak one, but he’s thankful that you huff out a soft laugh. He sets the bags down and looks at you; it’s obvious you’re nervous. He looks at his toes “Be honest with me, Y/N, I can pay for another room, really.”

Your eyes widen slightly and you move from the doorframe to stand in front of him, taking his hands in yours..God his fingers were so long..

“No! No, I-I want to sleep with you!”

You mentally cursed yourself for the way that sounded, and while it might’ve been true, that didn’t mean you should’ve yelled that out loud!

“I-I just mean, I don’t mind at all Brian... “ You let out a light chuckle, trying to redeem yourself and make your words seem less creepy.

“As long as you don’t mind me cuddling you like a baby koala while I sleep, I’m perfectly content with the hand that we’ve been dealt... and anyway, if your feet hang off the bed, mine will too.” God, you were still holding his hand, he probably thought you was some kind of freak.. he was too good for you anyway, too... perfect.

His cheeks are bright red he knows, but he nods, chuckling a little. “Not if I koala cuddle you first.”

He smiles at you, trying to salvage SOME of the situation. Looking warily over at the bed, he rubs his neck sheepishly, blush only deepening when he thinks of you pressed against him in the morning.. Clearing his throat, he claps his hands together, making you jump just a little. “I mean it looks nice at least.”

You breathe a little sigh of relief, blushing like mad when he mentions cuddling you. God, he was the single most adorable human being to ever walk the planet, and he really didn’t know it did he?

“I’m willing to place cold hard cash on the fact that we’re going to get some serious sleep on that bed Brian. “ Winking at him, you make a run for the bed, throwing yourself on it, a moan falling from your lips as the comfort envelops you. “God, Bri, come feel this bed, it’s orgasmic.”

Brian bites his lip at your moan, yelling at himself in his head to CHILL OUT!!!! He strides over, trying to pretend he was confident and not freaking out at all. When he flops onto the bed, however, he can’t help but groan, his body relaxing into the mattress. “Goddamn.”

Stretching out he smiles, pleased to find that he actually fit on the bed. Laughing at his reaction, you nod into the pillow and flip onto your stomach, eyes trained on Brian’s almost angelic profile. His unruly hair was fanned out around his head in an almost halo way, eyes closed, lashes dancing over his cheeks, his nose.. god, the amount of times you’d fantasied about having his nose prodding your clit while he ate you out.. stop it!

God Y/N, you need to calm the fuck down.. there’s no way someone like him would like you, no fucking way, but.. he did blush a lot around you... lose his ability to speak..

Pursing your lips, you dare to scoot a little closer to him, boldly taking his hand in yours and bringing it close to your face to inspect. “Ya know Bri, it’s almost not fair that your hands are so pretty.” Hey, you were gonna shoot your shot, and if you needed to bounce off the court, you would.. You only just wanted to get him flustered, make him want you as much as you wanted him. God, he was probably a Virgin, and for some reason that fact just... fuck... it was so hot.

He startles a little at your touch, turning his head to look at you, hazel eyes wide. “Uh, Th-thank you. I take care of them, you know, because they... they get messed up when I play. The guitar I mean. I don’t use a pick.”

He knows he’s rambling but he can’t stop. He’s staring at the way your hand is holding his; at how close your lips are to his skin. Lowering yourself a little closer to him, your chin almost resting on his shoulder as I play with his hands, you dance your fingers across the cool skin. Raising your eyes to his for a second, you feign surprise. “Last time I saw you play, I knew something was different with you.. no wonder your hands are so... hot.” You lean down to place a kiss to his calloused finger tips, eyes never leaving his, your tongue darting out to lick at his middle finger just a little. The way his face was flushed, chest heaving, his mouth wide open, you immediately knew that you had him. Hook, line, and sinker.

But you couldn’t give him everything he wanted now, everything you wanted.. no... you had to play this out, make him beg. So, placing one final kiss to his knuckle, you flip over in the bed, pulling the covers over you. “Think I’m gonna take a nap, okay Bri? Just wake me if you need something baby.”

Brian swears he stops breathing for a second, mouth hanging open, cock chubbing up in his corduroys. He’s dead still when you roll over, it takes him a minute for his brain to reboot. Rushing out a hurried “okay,” mentioning something about taking a shower, he hops from the bed stumbling into the bathroom. He shuts the door and turns on the shower, then frantically works at his belt, his hands fumbling. God, he needed a wank and he needed it NOW. He was embarrassingly hard, just from your fleeting touches... it was a little pathetic.

You can’t help but smile at Bri’s frantic escape to the bathroom, warmth pooling between you legs as you hear his belt hit the tile flooring of the bathroom. He wasn’t exactly a quiet man, his whimpers and moans seeping from behind the closed door of the bathroom.

Sure, he had turned on the shower, but he was obviously far too horny, too worked up, to know that his noises were far louder than he had intended for them to be. Deciding to continue your torture of Brian, you slide out of the bed, out of your clothes and bra, and back into the bed in nothing but your panties. Brian let out a choked sob in the bathroom, and a few moments later, the shower shut off, making you smile and turn over onto my stomach, ass on full display for him as you feigning sleep. He desperately tries to be quick and quiet, just doing the job efficiently before cleaning up, scrubbing his hands clean. He stares at himself in the mirror for a moment, cringing at his flushed cheeks. But he has to come out of the bathroom sometime. So he steadies himself and walks out..he’s nowhere near prepared for the sight he’s greeted with. Brian stares at your ass, then trails up your bare back, noting the lack of a bra. He digs his nails into the meat of his palms, begging his body to behave. Maybe he’d go read in the lobby or something. Somewhere he could distract himself from you. He doesn’t know how to make a move, or if you even want him to. And if you wanted to nap, he didn’t want to get in the way. Hearing the sharp intake of breath come from the doorway of the bathroom, you have to stop yourself from smiling into the pillow, determined to continue acting as if you were asleep, wanting to see what Brian would do. But for a long while, he didn’t move, only stood at the door You could feel his eyes on you, burning your skin as he just stared... He really was clueless wasn’t he?

Mentally groaning, you flip over in the bed, still feigning sleep, exposing your breasts and clothed pussy to him, moaning a little as you did so. “Uh.. B-Brian..”

You’re sure to make your voice as breathy and sleep ridden as possible, attempting to make him believe that you were simply dreaming... just HOPING he would react.

“Jesus.” Brian whimpers the word out loud, his voice breaking. He’s telling himself to give you privacy, to look away—if you’re asleep, you’ve not consented to him seeing and hearing all this. But it’s like he’s transfixed. I mean, fuck, he’s never even seen a girl’s tits before now. He’s still, hardly breathing, his cock making a valiant effort to get hard again. Finally, he steps forward, trying to be polite. He grabs the throw blanket at the end of the bed and pulls it over you, but not before trailing his fingertips over the soft skin over your ribs, right under your tits. He can’t help himself, trying to convince himself it was just him tucking you in.

Your heart was pounding in your chest as Brian pulled the blanket over you, his fingers dancing along your ribs, so innocent, yet causing your whole body to feel as if lightning was running through your veins in the place of blood. While you were a little disappointed that he’d not made an obvious move on you, you couldn’t help but be absolutely enamored and amazed at his actions. Most men would’ve just absolutely went to town, but not Brian.. no, he was far too sweet for that, and it made a colony of butterflies take up residence in your stomach.

Curling into the blanket that Brian had wrapped around you, you open your eyes just a little, smiling up at Bri’s wide eyes. “Come lie down Bri, you have to be dead tired.. take a nap with me love.”

You turn over, facing his side of the bed, just wanting him to be with you, sleep with you in the most innocent way imaginable. He just nods, no hesitation when he obeys you. He’s still nervous, but you looked so soft and sleepy and pretty. So he takes off his shoes, socks, and belt—but leaves his pants and shirt on. Then he clambers onto the bed beside you, on top of the covers facing you. He doesn’t want to cross a line he shouldn’t, so he just nuzzles his head into the pillow, eyes trained on your face.

Feeling the bed dip next to you, you open your eyes just slightly, smiling as they meet Bri’s own hazel ones. “Come here silly boy, I told you I wanted to koala cuddle you.” You curl up further to Brian, resting your head on his chest, tucking yourself firmly under his chin.

Hesitantly, he wraps an arm around you, trailing his fingertips up and down your back. It’s a bit before he finally relaxes, but he does, eventually pulling the main blanket over both of you “Comfortable?”

You moan a bit at the feeling of Brian’s delicate ministrations on your back, his calloused fingertips felt like pure sweet sin. “Y-yeah, you’re very cozy Brian.”

You place a chaste kiss to his neck as you nuzzle your face further into him, surrounded by the smell of orange blossoms. “Smell so good Bri...” His breath catches, heart speeding up at the feeling of your lips on his skin. He pulls you tighter against him, his other hand coming to rest on your hip.

Brian hesitates before slowly slipping his fingers under the waist band of your underwear, just resting his hand on the bare skin of your hip, not daring to do anything else. “Th-thank you.”

His mind whirls, trying to come up with a reasonable response to your compliment “It’s my, uh, shampoo. My friend told me it would be good for curly hair.”

You chuckle against his skin at his awkward endearingness. “Maybe you can let me borrow some yeah? That way my hair can look and smell as nice as yours..”

You allow your hands slid down a little, resting on his bony hip, much like his hand was resting on your own... not so bony hip. He sucks in a breath at my action, his fingers digging into your hip, causing you to wrap your legs around his.

“This okay? You’re just too irresistible to not wrap myself around.” You place another kiss to his neck, closer to his ear, your voice soft and gentle, not wanting to scare him away.

Brian’s eyelids flutter shut when you kiss him again, and he shudders, pulling you closer by your hip, breathing shallow. “Y-Y/N” His voice is airy and soft, almost desperate. “Y/N, what.... what’s going on?”

When you shift, your bare breasts brush against his chest, and he’s embarrassed at the whimper his lets out. He’s wearing a T-shirt but he can still feel the hardness of your nipples.

Brian’s soft voice pulls you from your mind and your lips from his neck, eyes meeting his a little shocked by his question... Hell, you didn’t even know what was going on... Well, you did, but honestly, you’d not given much thought to what was going to actually happen if he wanted this. Sitting up just a bit, you rest your breasts completely on his chest, your eyes never leaving his.

Taking a deep breath, you decide that you’d might as well spill your feelings, you were practically naked on top of the poor boy... One would think that would be plenty for him to see what was happening, after all, he was the most intelligent person you knew.

“Brian.. love, I think it’s pretty obvious what’s going on... I’m trying to seduce you.” You drop your lips to his, barely grazing the pouty objects that you’d been so enraptured by for months.

“As long as you’re.. as long as you’re okay with that...” He’s frozen for a moment before he nods, curls swaying.

“Y-yes I’m... that’s okay.” He closes his eyes, embarrassed by himself “I just, I’m—I’ve never, uh...”

You just know that your face is red, not out of embarrassment, but out of sheer arousal and desire to fuck this poor innocent boy into next week. God, he WAS a Virgin..

Sitting up completely, not even bothering to cover yourself, you glue your hands to his face, fingers caressing his bright red cheeks. “Hey, look at me Bri.. it’s okay.. it’s.. um..”

You chuckle a little breathlessly, surprised that he’s gotten you so excited and wet by just telling you that your initial assumption was correct. “It’s fucking hot Brian. I think everything about you is fucking hot, but.. this,” Sucking in a breath, you lean forward to press a kiss to his lips once again, the feeling of utter pleasure and relief that maybe he felt the same way about you flooding your system.

“I’ve wanted this for so long Brian.. wanted YOU for so long.”

His brows knit, completely surprised by your confession. “Really?”

The poor boy simply couldn’t fathom that you’d actually want him—especially with him being a virgin. When you nod, his hand on your hip tightens a little.

“I’ve wanted you too. Ever since I met you. I just... didn’t think you’d ever go for someone like me.” He leans in, trying to glean up some confidence, and kisses you softly, wanting more than just the teasing pecks you’d been giving him.

You sigh into Bri’s kiss, a bit surprised by how.. well he was doing.

The kiss was soft, delicate, and yet it still made your insides feel like hot soup. His pillow soft lips were pressing into yours a little harsher as you climbed on top of him, straddling his hips, your tits brushing against his chest. Your lips never left his, and his hands never left your hips.

“We’ll take it at your speed Bri okay? And if you decide you don’t want to continue, or you would just rather cuddle.. that’s perfectly fine with me too.. I just,” You nuzzle your nose against his as you speak, hands moving to his hair, pulling just a bit at the roots. “Want to be good to you.”

Brian nods, groaning a little when you pull his hair. “Th-That feels good.”

His voice is soft, and his cheeks are pink when he looks up at you, eyes roaming your body “You’re so fucking beautiful, Y/N. I just don’t want to disappoint you.”

His hands squeeze your hips gently; he just liked the feel of them in his palms. They fit perfectly.

You sigh into his touch, his long delicate fingers rubbing circles over your hips.. You weren’t exactly small in any sense of the word, definitely not as small as Brian, you were a meaty girl. You had curves, belly rolls, you jiggled. You’d also never been self conscious over the way your body looked, but for some reason Brian’s soft fingers, and even softer gaze was making me feel on a different level. Placing one final kiss to his lips you lean up.

Careful not to rest all of your body weight on his legs, instead you balance your body on your own legs. He really was a tiny thing wasn’t he, and you just... weren’t…

“I-uh, I’m sorry if I’m not what you imagined your first time would be like.. I know I’m not exactly Twiggy or Jane Asher, but, um, I promise I’ll try and make it as memorable as possible.” Brian scoffs, pulling you down to sit on his legs.

“I don’t like them, I like you. You’re... fuck, Y/N, you’re the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever fucking seen.” His hands slip up over your sides, feeling your curves, the slight give of your skin. “You are like a goddamn renaissance painting... I’d be honored to feel you..”

His lips move to your neck, pressing light kisses to the delicate skin, desperately wanting you to see yourself as he did, a goddess. “As long as you don’t mind that I’m a fucking skeleton.” It’s partly a joke, partly a real concern. He was bony and knobby everywhere it seemed; much too tall and awkward for anything.

You can’t help but heat up under his gaze, the way he was staring at you, the way his hands were gliding over your skin, feeling you completely. It made you feel far more special than you’d ever felt before. Scoffing at Brian’s words, you lean over and pulled him into a sitting position, you firmly in his lap, his back against the headboard of the bed, arms tight around you.

“You’re the cutest man in the world Brian May, and thinking about your little “skeleton” body all red and sweat under me has gotten me off more times than I care to admit.” Your hands were in his hair, gently massaging his scalp, fingernails just barely scraping the skin. You wanted to tease him, to get him all nice and worked up. “Have you ever seen a woman like this before Bri? Ever been able to... touch, and taste one?”

Brian moans at your touches; at your words. Never in a million years would he have thought you—YOU—would be into him. ANY of him. But hearing you say you’d imagined him? Jesus, he could feel his cock becoming interested already, even though he’d just wanked ten minutes ago. He tries to keep his voice steady when he answers your questions, eyes slipping shut.

“N—No, I’ve not... I’ve never.... I’ve just k-kissed before.” Smirking down at him, your hands fall a little to cup his cheeks.

“Hey, look at me pretty boy.” You move him to look into your eyes, smile never leaving your face. He was so goddamn cute, and you couldn’t believe he was allowing you to do this, that he WANTED you to do this.. “I want you to use this as an opportunity okay? I don’t want this to just be a fuck and done thing, I genuinely like you Bri, wanna be with you... be your girlfriend, meet your parents, make you shitty veggie loafs.”

You both chuckled, remembering the fiasco 3 months ago. The sounds of his laugh warms your heart, it was light and sweet, just like him. “Touch me bri.. you can do anything you want to me baby okay? Just.. do anything you want, anything you’ve ever dreamed of doing, I’m a blank canvas, you’re the painter okay?”

His eyes light up at your words, though more the middle part than the end. “I want to be with you too. Truly.”

He beams happily, arching his neck up to kiss you. When he pulls away he has to double check with you. “Are you.... sure? I might... I might need some guidance. I’m sorry.”

His gaze flits away again, embarrassed with himself. But you tell him not to apologize, and he nods, chewing on his bottom lip with his sharp canines. He works up the courage to move his hands upwards to cup your tits, squeezing them lightly. He loves the weight of them in his hands, how hard your nipples are against his palms. His eyes flutter shut as Brian’s hands move to my breasts, his curious fingers dancing across your nipples just enough for the action to take your breath away.

“B-Bri...” You can’t help the way his name falls from your lips, fingers tangling themselves in his hair. Fucking hell, he might not be the most experienced, but what he lacked in experience he was sure as hell making up for in fervor. “K-keep going love, you’re doing so good. Such a pretty boy..” Brian fidgets at the compliment, not sure how he feels about it. It makes his stomach twist in a weird way—but he thinks in a good way.

He gauges your reaction when he gently pinches one of your nipples; the gasp you let out makes him think you’re enjoying it. He does it a few times, but frowns when he sees how red he’s made the little bud. Before he even realizes what he’s doing, he’s ducking his head to take it into his mouth, tongue lapping at it to soothe the sting.

Your head falls back when Brian attaches himself to my nipple, his tongue licking little circles around the bud. “G-god! Bri! Fuck baby...”

Your mouth is as wide as your eyes as you look down at him, his own hazel eyes full of innocent curiosity and something else. Grinding your hips against his, you gasp at the feeling of his cock straining under the zipper. “C-can I touch you baby? Are you okay with that?” His lips had moved to your other breast, hand moving into the back of your underwear, cupping your ass. He groans around your nipple in his mouth, squeezing your ass kinda hard. Jesus, you were so fucking hot. He couldn’t believe he was getting to do this with you... have you be his first, and hopefully his last. “Y-yes. Yes, you can touch, me, I’m—“

He pushes his face into the valley between your breasts, panting a little. “God, I love your ass. It looked so fucking good in the pants you were wearing today, I couldn’t help myself from staring.”

You can’t help the laugh that erupts from your throat at his words, dropping your head onto his, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. “Yeah? You like my fat ass do you Bri?”

You trail your hands down his body, quickly unzipping his jeans and shoving your hand down his underwear, firmly grasping his cock... Your eyes widen slightly when you feel just his big he is... You certainly were NOT expecting that.

“Does my ass make your cock nice and hard baby? I didn’t take you for an ass man pretty boy.” Your lips were on his neck again, biting down just a little.

Brian nods quickly, his other hand slipping down to grip your ass too. “Fucking love it, I—ah!”

He cries out when you touch his cock, and he tenses, pressing his face into your neck. “Oh god—fuck, that’s—“ He’s trying to get ahold of himself, but Jesus, just you touching him felt incredible. He’s never had anyone else touch him before, and it... it was much different from touching himself “Yes it makes me h-hard, Y/N, bloody hell.”

Your lips don’t halt their assault on Brian’s neck, only sped up and sucked harder, desperate to mark him, to show the world that he was yours. His cock was positively throbbing in your hand, precum almost soaking you completely. “God that’s so fucking hot Brian.. my ass,” You reach around and grab his hands in yours, squeezing your ass.

“My tits,” You move his hands to your chest and repeat the action.

“My cunt...” His breath caught in his throat, and a whimper choked in his throat as you shove his hands down your underwear, the wetness of your vagina soaking both of your hands.

“They’re all yours Brian.. all of them.. just for you my sweet pretty boy.” Brian shudders, letting a long, drawn out whine fall from his lips. He rubs over your cunt with his palm, smearing your wetness around.

“God, Y/N... I—can you h-help me? I want to make you feel so good, please.” He is positively desperate, your heat and wetness was driving him insane. He knows about what to do in theory, but doing it in practice was daunting. He had no idea where to start.

Nodding frantically, you climb off of his lap and lie down beside him, whining a bit at the loss of his fingers. “Yes baby, here let me show you. Just watch what I do and when you’re ready, you just repeat what I do okay?”

Brian only nods, mouth wide, and you slip off your underwear, tossing the spoiled fabric into his lap. Turning around a bit, you fluff the pillows and settle myself down into them, squirming for a minute or so before you get fully comfortable, eyes never leaving Brian’s. His cock was straining against his pants, it didn’t look comfortable at all.

You move your hands between your legs, and use one to play with your clit, the other moving further down to play with your leaking entrance. “Bri, love, why don’t you strip down okay? I’m sure your cock would feel so much better if it wasn’t so... constricted!” With your final word, you plunge your fingers into your hot cunt, hips bucking off of the bed at the feeling.

“F-fuck! Are you watching sweet boy? Watch me closely honey. God, I bet your fingers are going to feel so magical inside of me.. they’re so long and delicate Bri.. c-can’t tell you how often I’ve watched you writing and dreamed about having them buried deep inside of my cunt!”

He moans, cock twitching in his pants. He wants to take them off but he can’t look away from the apex of your thighs, his mouth hanging open, breathing shallow. He watches you pump your fingers in and out of yourself before he finally speaks, his voice breaking. “I—I wanna... lemme try, please.”

Brian shuffles forward, huffing when you demand once again for him to take off his pants. He quickly discards his corduroys but leaves his underwear on, still a bit shy and way too focused on you. When you pull your fingers from yourself he’s taken with a fit of boldness, capturing your hand in his and bringing it up to push your two wet fingers into his mouth, sucking on them.

He moans at the taste of you, eyes half lidded as he brushes the tips of two fingers against your slit, dipping in a bit nervously. “Fuck! Brian, you dirty boy, come here baby!”

You pull your fingers from his mouth a bit shakily, unable to properly comprehend what it was that he’d just done. Goddamnit, you were the one who was supposed to be ruining him, not the other way around. Moving your hands to his face, you cup his cheeks and bring him forward, crushing his lips to yous, mouth falling open against his when his fingers slide inside of you. “B-Bri!”

You can hardly breathe when he begins to run his fingers along your entire slit, his middle finger curling inside of you while his index finger tentatively brushed over your clit, sending your hips bucking into his hand, taking him further in.

“More baby please! Fuck mommy good with your fingers baby boy...” Okay yeah, something had DEFINITELY snapped inside of you as the words left your mouth, eyes wide in fear that he was going to repel in disgust. “Fuck Bri, I’m sorry I didn-“

His lips cut you off, bruising your own with the force of his kiss.. oh.. that was.. unexpected.. He kisses you hard, pushing his index finger inside you with his middle finger, starting to fuck you with them. His thumb toys with your clit clumsily, though he tries to find a rhythm the best he can.

He just wants to please you, and when he pulls away from the kiss, he sits back to watch himself finger fuck you, groaning at how shiny his fingers were. “God, you’re so fucking wet. Tell me who made you this wet honey?”

He teases you with his ring finger, pretending like he’s going to add it but then not. He doesn’t know if this is confidence or desperation, but he doesn’t care at this point.

“You! God Brian its you, you made me so wet baby boy!” You certainly weren’t expecting him to be so... confident. His teasing is almost too much for you to handle.

“Fucking hell Brian! Just fuck me baby please! I need you..” Your hands move to his hair, pulling hard, not caring if he was in pain. You wanted him, no, NEEDED him inside of you, desperate to feel his cock stretching you.

“Do you not wanna fuck me baby boy? Do you not wanna fuck mommy?” He curses, free hand quickly moving to grip the base of his cock through his underwear, his fingers stilling inside you. Fuck, he was already close, and your words, what you were calling yourself… it was having quite the effect on him.

“Bloody—Fuck, Y/N, I’m not... I w-won’t last.” He whines, looking up at you with wide eyes.

“I want to fuck you so bad but it won’t b-be good for you.” He’s worried all of a sudden, he doesn’t want to disappoint you.

Reaching up, you caress his face, pulling him down to press your lips to his, this time much more gentle and reassuring. “It’s okay Brian, it’s okay.. I don’t care if you last, I just want to feel you inside of me. I want you to cum inside of me, fill me up baby.” Nuzzling your nose against his, you run your hands down his back, slipping them into his underwear, grabbing handfuls of his ass. His hips were bucking into you, and you could feel how desperate he was, how much he needed me, honestly you didn’t care if he lasted.

You only wanted to be his first, to be the first and last woman he was ever with... Brian whimpers at your words, trembling all over. Pulling his fingers from you, he sucks them off quickly—and god, he couldn’t get enough of that—before pushing down his underwear, fumbling to get them down his skinny legs. He clenches the base of his cock again, trying not to get too overwhelmed. He leans down to kiss you again, more gentle this time as he awkwardly shuffles between your legs. “What’s uhm—what’s the best p-position?”

Wrapping your arms around his waist, you pull his hips to you, groaning when you feel his cock rub against your folds, rubbing gently against your clit. “Like this Bri, just like this baby...”

You rub your hands down his back, nails scraping his pale skin. “Just breathe and take your time sweetie, I want you to do whatever feels good, and if you don’t last, it’s okay.. because when you cum inside of me?”

You lick a stripe up his neck, ending at his earlobe where you allow your teeth to graze him there, your breath hot on him. “I want you to eat it out of me baby...”

Brian lets out a little whimper at your words, his jaw clenching, hazel eyes turning fiery. He thrusts into you hard, pushing himself all the way in until his balls slap against you. He takes a moment, heaving in a shuddering breath, pushing his face into your neck. “Oh fuck, oh—Y/N. You feel... this is... “

He’s trembling, and he has to beg the universe to let him NOT CUM before he’s able to start thrusting. Your breath catches in your throat as Brian thrusts inside of you, his cock stretching you in the most delicious way, filling you to the absolute brim as his balls slap against you. His whole body is shaking as he whimpers into your neck, quiet whispers of pleasure falling into your skin. You move your hands to his face, pushing him up to look into your eyes, hands brushing his hair out of his face, holding it down. “Breathe Brian, easy baby, it’s okay, just breathe.”

You couldn’t even imagine what feelings he was having, what was running through his mind.. he’d just lost his virginity, on a bed, with a girl who was head over heels for him, in Spain.. he as probably losing his utter shit, and god, you were close to losing your’s if he didn’t move soon. Digging your heels into his ass, you push his cock further into you, his hips grinding hard against you, causing the both of you to gasp out in shock and pleasure. “P-please Bri, m-move for me baby.. I don’t care if you cum fast, we’ll work on it later.. we have all the t-time in the world!” Brian nods into your neck, taking in another shuddering breath. Snapping his hips in and out of you, he tries desperately to find a rhythm even though it’s shaky. He’s just moaning and whimpering out your name, hands flitting all over your skin. His hips finally get a bit more confident, snapping against yours with a bit more force, letting out little grunts as he does so. Brian could’ve honestly just lied next to you and made his little noises, and you would’ve been completely losing your mind. His little grunts accompanying his shaky thrusts, the way he was whimpering into your skin, it was setting your whole body alight. You could tell he was getting more confident with his thrusts, they were getting harder and faster, making your legs shake against his waist. You shouldn’t.. no, that would be too harsh....

Before you could stop yourself, you detangle your legs from round Bri’s waist, and in the blink of an eye, had them over his shoulders, his cock slipping deeper inside of you. Brian’s eyes roll back in his head at the feeling, it was unlike anything he had ever experienced. He cries out, shaking, leaning closer to you, gripping your legs tightly

“Y/N... god, I’m so close, I... you feel so fucking good.” His hips are moving at a ridiculous pace, sweat dripping down his neck.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh—“ Hips stuttering, he gasps out his words “God, I—where do I cum, I—” His head is spinning, blood pumping in his ears.

“I told you where earlier baby...”| You trail off in a moan, breath hitching in your throat as he slams into you harder than you’ve ever had anyone do. “I-inside of me pretty boy, I want your sweet cum inside of me.”

No, you weren’t on the pill, but sometimes life makes you take risks and honestly, the feeling of Brian cumming inside of you, the first time he’s ever cum WITH another person present.. it was too hot of an opportunity to pass up, and you weren’t ovulating... So, you decided to be a fucking idiot for once in your goddamn life.

Brian is already coming up with an apology to you in his head, sure he must be hurting you with how forcefully he’s fucking you, but he can’t seem to stop. His body is chasing his orgasm whether he likes it or not, and your words don’t help him any. There’s something so hot to him—so fucking primal—about cumming inside you. About leaving a part of himself in you; marking you. “Oh—Jesus—Fuck—I’m!”

He somehow manages to talk between thrusts, and suddenly he lets out a cry, pushing himself in as deep as he can, cumming harder than he ever has in his fucking life. His hips won’t stop moving, never pulling out, just grinding into you as he pants loudly, mouth hanging open as if in shock.

The force of which Brian’s cum shoots into you, completely painting your clenching walls with his seed, causes you to let out a very loud gasp of shock, mouth wide as he fills you up. You’d never had anyone cum inside of you before, so you weren’t exactly sure what it would feel like... But, god above, this was the best feeling in the entire world. It was so warm, it almost felt like when you drink a warm cup of tea on a cold day.

“F-fuck Bri! G-give it to me love, don’t want you to waste a drop..” You lay back further into the bed, pushing your hips further up into his, desperate to feel more of his cock inside of you. God he was already balls deep, but you just wanted all of him possible.

Brian is literally crying, gasping in breaths as his hips jerk into you without his permission, his cock and balls pulsing. He feels completely out of control and it’s kind of terrifying kind of fantastic. Fuck, it feels so fucking good.

It takes him a moment to realize that the whimpering and whining and crying of “Y/N” he’s hearing is him and not you, and he crashes his mouth down onto yours to shut himself up. God, his cock feels so snug and tight and warm inside you, his cum making everything even wetter. He wants to stay like this forever, just in this moment.

Brian’s lips were bruising against your’s his whimpers and desperate little cries of your name being swallowed as you eagerly kissed him back, hands moving to his hair, pulling gently as his hips begin to slow down, shaking like leaves, but his cock was still twitching inside of you, still releasing cum..

God, you really took a risk with this, but honestly you didn’t really think even a condom would much help for you either with the sheer amount of cum he was shooting out. “Shhh.. it’s okay Bri, just rest baby, just rest..”

You slowly move your legs from his shoulders, deciding to wrap them around his waist, pressing him into your chest, his face buried in your chest. “O-oh my g-god.”

Brian can barely get the words out, his voice strangled and muffled into your skin. He cuddles into you, shaking like a goddamn idiot. He knew he should get off of you. He knew he should pull out and clean you up and.... Jesus, he hadn’t even made you cum. He’d cum in like two seconds and he hadn’t even taken care of you, he was such a fucking idiot.

He tries to get up, but his arms literally won’t hold him up, he’s so fucking spent. “M’sorry Y-Y/N, I—fuck,”

You shush him again, brushing your hands through his hair, your lips pressing soft and delicate kisses all over his face. “It’s okay Bri, just breathe love, you have nothing to apologize for.. you did so good baby, you made me feel so special.” Your hands are gently moving in his hair, scratching at his scalp, trying to calm him down and allow him to catch his breath. Placing a small kiss to his brow, you sigh from absolute shock and awe at what had just happened.. fuck. You’d just taken Brian’s virginity?

God this was the best feeling in the world. “Thank you for letting me do this with you Bri.. I, I’m honored that you trusted me to give yourself to me.” He nods, letting his breathing get back to normal before speaking again, sniffling a little. “I... I wanted it to be you. Always wanted it to be you. I just... I didn’t think I had a chance.”

He pulls his head up to look at you, his trembly hands sweeping your sweaty hair out of your face. “I’m sorry I didn’t make you cum. I’ll get better. For next time.” He gives you a small smile, his fingertips brushing little patterns over your skin. Moving your head just slightly, you place a kiss to his fingers, smiling as he blushes and ducks his head into your neck bashfully.

“Oh Bri, you always had a chance with me.. honestly, I was so flustered when I met you I didn’t think I was going to be able to work with you.” He gives you a look of disbelief, making you laugh.

“I’m serious love! You were just so sweet and innocent, and so kind to me...” That is what what had always attracted you to Brian.. how kind he was, and he was continuing to prove it by being so apologetic about not making you cum.

“And I don’t care about you making me cum Bri.. we have plenty of time for that. This was for you, about your first time...” He hesitates, but finally nods, nuzzling against you again.

“Thank you. You’re fucking amazing. I was so nervous.” He kisses you softly before slowly pulling out, whimpering a little as he does so. He rubs his large hands over your thighs gently. “Can I run you a bath or something?”

He looks hopeful, just wanting to take care of you. You nod at Brian’s hopeful voice, running your hands down his back, barely touching his skin, still reeling from the feeling of his pulling out, the way his cum was just... oozing out of you. “Bath sounds nice love, thank you for being so sweet.”

Taking his hands in yours, you use them as leverage to pull yourself into a sitting position before sliding your legs off the bed, standing shakily. “I-oh wow, little weak on my feet.”

Chuckling a bit, you smile as Bri hops to his feet, wrapping his arms around you to steady you before leading you to the bathroom. His cum was dripping down my thighs, you could feel it’s slow descent as Bri bent over the tub to start the water, squirting in some of the complimentary bubble bath into the water.

Running your hands down my stomach, you inch lower, gathering some of his excess cum on your fingers. Smirking at your own idea, you waltz over to him, standing close “Wanna taste baby?” Slowly sucking your fingers into your mouth, you shut your eyes, moaning at the taste “Mmm, so sweet...”

You wink at Bri as you slide into the tub, body soaking into the bubbles as he sputtered. He was completely wrapped around your fingers.

His knees get a little weak when you suck his cum off your fingers, and he struggles to catch his breath.

When you get into the full tub, he turns off the water, gathering soap and stuff into his hands. He stands there awkwardly for a moment before going to kneel beside you on the hard tile, his cheeks pink. “Can I wash you?”

You smile up at him, holding out your hand for him to hold as he drops to his knees beside the tub. “Of course you can Bri, if that’s what you want to do.”

You bring his hand up to your lips to kiss, sitting up slightly to trail your kisses all the way up his forearm.

This was by far the most...intimate, you had ever been with anyone. Sure, you had a few notches in my belt, not many, but more than Bri, and yet, no man had ever made you feel the way Brian was. He was so delicate, soft, loving, curious, and desperate to please. But above all of that, he was my friend, well obviously more than that now, but you trusted him. Fully.

“I told you earlier, anything you want to do, all you need to do is ask love. Anything you ask, I’ll do, for you.” Brian smiles back at you, leaning down to kiss you softly, just a brush of his lips. He gets a towel all soapy and warm and starts rubbing over your skin gently, being thorough. “You're so pretty, love.” His heart feels sized too big. You were his best friend and he loved you so goddamn much. In more way than one, but it didn't want to freak you out so he didn't want to say anything.

His ministrations were as delicate and gentle as his voice, his eyes never leaving your own as his hands move over your body, one cleaning you, the other just barely grazing my skin, causing goosebumps to erupt all over my skin. It took everything in your body not to moan out loud when he calls you pretty. It’s a bit silly isn’t it? Being so... emotional at just being called pretty.. but, you couldn’t find the energy to care.

You loved Brian, fully and completely, had done for a long while, but there was no way you could tell him now.. right? He’d think you were a freak. You sigh in contentment, brushing your hand through his hair, resting it on his cheek. “No, I think you’ll find that you’re the beauty in this relationship Bri.. you’re the prettiest boy, man, I’ve ever met.” The sounds from the street were flowing in through the closed window, car horns, children laughing, but all you could pay attention to was the way Brian was looking at you, the delicate love and admiration that filled his eyes as his hands moved between your thighs, washing you.

He cleans between your legs gently, looking at your face to make sure he doesn’t hurt you/you aren’t sore. When you gasp he freezes, concerned, but he quickly realizes it wasn’t a noise of pain. “Oh, is that—?”

He repeats the movement, circular against a little hard nub hidden by your folds. You can only nod, this boy had only just had sex for the first time, seen a boob for the first time.. and he’d somehow managed to find my clit faster than any man you’d ever known. Shaking your head at his concern, you allow a moan to fall from your lips, your hand tightening in Brian’s hair just a bit.

You hoped he didn’t mind because his curly locks were currently the only thing grounding you to earth. “N-no, it’s a, good gasp baby, oh! God Bri, do that again please..”

Your head falls back against the tub, legs spreading involuntarily, allowing Brian easier access to your core. His hazel eyes are wide as he rubs you, his cheeks heating up as he watches all your reactions closely. He speeds up when you tell him to, finding an easy rhythm that you seemed to like. “You’re so beautiful, Y/N I can’t believe you’re mine.”

His voice is soft and reverent, and he leans in to drop a kiss to your shoulder. “A-are you gonna cum? Am I doing okay?”

Your eyes widen when you realize that, yes, you are indeed gonna cum. “Y-yes B-Bri! I’m s-so close!”

You’re almost shocked by how close you are to cumming, no man had ever made you cum before, and here this little innocent blushing boy, who’d never once touched a woman’s body before today, was about to give you, judging from the tightness in your belly, the hardest orgasm you’ve ever had. His fingers were moving almost as if he were playing a guitar, middle finger inside of you, curling upwards, exploring your walls, pressing continuously against your spot. Index finger and thumb circling your clit, and they were all moving so FAST! You didn’t know someone was capable of moving their hands in a manner that quickly...

“B-Bri, p-please I need, oh fuck! Oh Brian, I love you!” You didn’t even realize what you’d said because it soon felt like every ounce of blood in my body was rushing through my ears, you could’ve been speaking Polish for all you knew.

Your body tenses almost demonically, and the coil finally snapped. Hands firmly gripping both the side of the tub and Brian’s free hand, the only things keeping you grounded on this earth, you spasm and scream out in pleasure.

Brian doesn't halt his movements, his hand adjusting to your writhing hips. “Oh, fuck.” The words are breathed out, barely audible, his mouth hanging open as he watches you. You were the most gorgeous thing he'd ever seen. His heart is racing from all of it--especially from you saying you loved him. He was so... proud of himself for making you feel good.

Coming down from the high of your orgasm was like what you imagine doing LSD felt like. Shapes cloud your vision, you feel like you could feel everything 10x more sensitively. You can hear individual conversations on the street, and most of all, Brian's hands felt like boiling lava against your skin. You were so frayed, and his fingers just didn't want to stop moving against you, it was almost painful. “H-here baby, t-too much!”

You reach down with shaky hands and take his hands in yours, pulling them from your pussy and to your mouth, placing little kisses on the pruned fingertips. He groans, watching you. When his fingers fall from your lips he lunges forward, kissing you hard, his hands rubbing over your shoulders and neck. When he pulls away he smiles a little, cheeks pink and curls sticking to his face “I love you too, you know.”

Your eyes widen almost comically at Brian's words. “So I did say that out then?”

You laugh, ducking your head into Brian's neck. Of course you would declare your love for him in the middle of an orgasm. It was a very on brand action for you. “Well, I meant it. I do love you Brian, like, a shit ton. Have for probably 3 months.. since.. the veggie loaf disaster.”

The two of you laugh, remembering how you'd almost burnt his flat down and Roger's face when he came home to find you and Brin covered in foam from the fire extinguisher. Brian had been so sweet and lovely, and you’d known you were in love with him the moment he had thrown the burnt remnants in your hair because he was bored while you cleaned.

Brian smiles fondly down at you, running a hand through your slightly sweaty hair. “I think I probably loved you the first day of class, when you very politely told Professor Franklin he could fuck straight off.” Women in the sciences were pretty rare, and while most of the professors were completely welcoming, some weren’t. You’d walked into the room and the professor told you “wrong class, dearie” without even a spare glance, you’d given him a piece of your mind. Brian had been grinning from the back, and was elated when you asked if anyone was sitting beside him. You’d tutored HIM through the class—had been the only reason he’d passed “I was fucking smitten.”

You let out a loud laugh at Brian’s words. Professor Franklin was a 60 something year old sexist pig who had really eaten his words when you’d ended up with the highest marks ever in his class. “You were the only one smiling at me, seemed like a good idea to sit next to the cute curly haired boy with the pretty smile.”

You couldn’t believe what he was telling you to be quite honest. That class was two years ago, Brian had had feelings for you for TWO years and had never said a single thing. Brushing your hands through his curls once more, you sit up a bit in the tub, motioning for him to get in in front of you.

“C’mon babe, in ya get. I wanna cuddle but this water feels too nice to pass up.” He blushes profusely, but does as you ask resting against your front as you run your hands over his shoulders, his head under your chin. “So why didn’t you tell me about your feelings? Because I can assure you I would’ve reciprocated had I known you felt the same way.. could’ve saved me quite a fortune on batteries..” Brian grows quiet, shrugging his skinny shoulders a little, the warm water swirling around him. He chews on his inner cheek for a few moments before responding. “I dunno. Scared of what you might say, I guess? I didn’t think you’d want me like that. And you were such a good friend, I didn’t... I didn’t want to mess that up or lose that. Your friendship was, and still is, much more important than getting to kiss you and... other stuff.” He quickly back tracks, stuttering as he speaks. “Not that I don’t like that too!”

You chuckle and nod your head in understanding, you knew exactly where he was coming from. “That’s fair. I was so nervous around you when we first started hanging out, when I started tutoring you.” You smile a little, remembering how you’d once changed clothes 6 times before going to his flat. “I’ve never had a friendship like yours before, connected on a level of understanding like I do with you.. and, to be honest, I’m glad we waited this long to admit our feelings to one another. Makes the foundation of this relationship that much stronger.”

He smiles widely, leaning back against you “Relationship? So you—you really do want to be my girlfriend?” He knows it’s dumb to ask, but he needs to be sure. He’s still somehow scared you wouldn’t want to be with him, despite your proclamations of love. You move your hands up, cupping his chin to turn it so that he could look you in the eye. Chuckling, you nod and lean down, placing a kiss to his lips. “Yes Bri, I want to be your girlfriend... and then,” You trail your kisses to his chin. “Your fiancé... then,” You move on to his jaw, close to his ear.

“Your wife... and finally,” Gently taking his earlobe in between your teeth, you bite down just a little, nibbling the skin. “The mother of your perfect, super intelligent, uber curly haired children.”

Brian flushes a deep scarlet, for multiple reasons. Perhaps your words most of all. He flounders for something to say, finally settling on a half joke. “Is that a proposal?”

Laughing gently, you move your hands to rest on his stomach, drawing lazy circles onto the pale skin. “I would take you to the courthouse right now and buy you a supermarket ring, but I’m afraid Harold and Ruth wouldn’t exactly approve of that.” You were being completely honest with him. Brian was the only person you would ever love and you were 100% positive about it.

“Speaking of Harold and Ruth, they’re going to flip their lid when we tell them! Your mom basically threatened me with violence last Christmas if I didn’t marry you.”

He’s positively beaming, butterflies in his stomach from both your words and your touches. “I wouldn’t mind a supermarket ring.” His voice is soft; he feels light as a feather. “Doesn’t matter what my mum and dad think. S’not their ring.”

Your heart had never felt so full, but his words were so endearing, so sweet and soft, and just... so unapologetically Brian. “You sure you would want to deal with me for the rest of our lives? Rambling on about my obsessions and my love of Vera Lynn’s music? Constantly almost burning the kitchen down when I attempt to bake? Sleeping too late and then not eating until dinner because I’ve forgotten?” You are whispering the words softly into his ear, your hands trailing delicately up and down his chest, fingers dancing over his collarbones.

Brian is breathless, heart racing. “I can’t think of anything I want more to be honest.” He knows this is moving fast, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care.

He’d loved you for two years, had been with you for so much. Spending the rest of his life with you sounded.... like everything.

You grin, placing a kiss into his hair. “Yeah? Well, let’s get out of uni and then you can marry the fuck out of me Mr. May.”

You sigh, the water was getting cold. “Cmon babe, let’s get out, we’re gonna shrivel into little prunes in here.” Reluctantly the both of you get out and dry one another off, you laughing at Brian’s soft moans when dry his cock.

Throwing the towel at his face as you exit the bathroom, you to the corner of the room, bending over and digging through the disorganized mess you called a suitcase in an attempt to find a pair of pajamas, remembering quickly exactly what Bri and you were doing here in Tenerife when you come across my research binder and calculator. “Bri, tomorrow we have to meet with Dr. Charston and Dr. Silvanti at the university to get all the equipment.” You’re still bent over, completely naked, desperately looking for the silk shorts set you’d brought, not even realizing that Brian was stood in the doorway watching your every move.

“Mm-hmm.” Brian just nods, barely paying attention.

He can’t help himself, walking up behind you and running his hands over your ass, chuckling a little when you jump.

“Sorry, I just—“ He sighs a little, slightly embarrassed. “Why don’t you forgo the Pyjamas tonight?”

You gasp, jumping up and around in shock at Brian’s actions, smacking his chest lightly, laughing despite your shock. “Mr. May! You’re certainly getting bold!” Smirking up at him, you wrap your arms around his waist, hands moving to rest on his ass. “Is that your way of not so subtly suggesting we continue to...explore one another?” You squeeze his ass, smirking up at his wide eyed expression. He simply grins down at you, shrugging casually, canines presses against his bottom lip.

“Hmm, I dunno. Only if you want to, lovely. I’m happy to cuddle and watch telly. I just couldn’t help myself—you’ve got the best ass in the world.” He winks at you, feeling light as a feather.

You lean up and press a kiss to his lips, squeezing his ass one last time before flopping down onto the mattress, naked as the day you were born. “Well if you like it so much why don’t you write a song about it?” You’re teasing him, my eyebrows raised, a smirk on my face. You’d often tease him about writing songs for you, little did you know, he’d written one for you a year ago.. “I mean, honestly, sweet little Brian May.. an ass man.. who would’ve thought.”

He grins, clambering onto the bed behind you, stretching himself out over you as he speaks. “A song? Well maybe... I.... will.”

He pauses between words to drop soft, innocent kisses over your décolletage before moving up to your lips. “Why is it so hard to believe, hmm? All men like SOMETHING?”

He pauses, cocking his head to the side to look at you. “Though, I like just about everything about you.”

You close your eyes and smile up at him, laughing just a little at his words. “Just about everything? Hm? What exactly is it that you despise about me so much?”

You love teasing him, your lips ghosting over his as he moves to rest above you , his body a comforting weight on top of you. Your hands brush over his back, tickling his sides just slightly. You could feel his erection growing in between your thighs as your hands and lips moved against him, causing you to let out a little sigh against his lips. Moving your hands to his hair, you pull his head back a little bit harsher than you’d planned to, but just enough so you could latch your lips to his neck.

He gasps a little when you pull his hair, easily tilting his head back for you, moaning when you suck a mark onto his neck. He laughs a little bit, breathless, thinking about how to answer your question “Well I must say, you’re much smarter than me, lovely. Makes me jealous.”

He’s teasing a little—he loves how smart you are. He’s more in awe than mad about it. Bucking your hips up against his, you smirk when he lets out a breathless moan, his cock twitching in between your thighs. “Oh yeah? Is poor precious baby boy Brian jealous that his girlfriend can calculate velocities better than him?” Your lips are sucking at his neck hard, determined to leave him with the largest hickey imaginable. Moving your hands down towards his cock, your fingers brush over the tip, gathering his precum, before sliding your fingers back up and sticking them in your mouth, swirling your tongue around them.

Brian seemed to have a very visceral reaction whenever you would do this, so you didn’t see any reason not to continue. He curses under his breath, shivering at the sight of you. He lowers himself a little to kiss down your neck, quickly moving to mouth at your tits again, sucking on your nipples, just taking his own sweet time. His hands moved over your body, feeling your curves and soft skin, rubbing his cock against your thigh lazily. He was more focused on you.

Your hands don’t leave Brian’s hair as he sucks on your nipples, biting them gently before pulling away and kissing down your stomach, sucking harshly along your hips. “F-fuck Bri! Yo-you’re a fast learner.. maybe y-you’re the s-smartest, OH!”

You didn’t even have time to react before he had buried his face between your legs, tongue curiously licking along your folds. “B-Bri b-baby y-you don’t h-have to! Not if you d-don’t want to!”

You’d NEVER had a man do this to you before, and sure you were curious to see what all the hubbub was about, but you had never expected Brian to just.. dive in. Literally.

He looks up at you from between your legs, hazel eyes wide, lips slightly shiny with your moisture. “But I—I want to. I at least want a taste. Is that okay?”

You nod, movement jerky, and he beams, pleased with your answer. He licks over your folds slowly, with just the flat of his tongue, as if curious. He parts you with his long fingers, just tasting you, licking over your clit and chuckling when you fidget.

Soon he’s essentially just giving your cunt open mouthed kisses, not quite knowing what he’s doing, but loving the feeling and the taste, one of his arms thrown over your hips to hold them down, the fingers of his other hand holding you open. “F-fuck! Brian.. you, you’re doing s-so g-good! S-so talented l-love!”

Your hands are grabbing Brian’s hair like a vice, you knew it had to be almost painful for him, but for some reason that only made you want to tug harder. Your orgasm takes you completely by surprise, the coil that had been steadily building in my belly suddenly just breaking without any warning. “BRIAN!! Oh! FUCK!”

Had his arm not been pressing your hips into the bed, you’re quite sure that the both of us would’ve been sent into the floor. He had just made you cum using only his mouth, no penetration, no anything.. just his goddamn hunger for your pussy and a will to please.

He whines at your hands tugging his hair, the sharp sensations of pain actually feeling incredible. He’s so excited when you cum, eagerly lapping and sucking up all your juices, pulling you as close to his mouth as he can, his long nose brushing over your sensitive clit while he cleans you. Brian knows that he’s being a fucking slut, just moaning everywhere, but, he fucking loved it so much. He’d made you cum AGAIN, with just his mouth, and you’d tasted and sounded so fucking good.

Your entire body felt like it was on fire, like my nerves had been exposed to cold air. Brian’s nose nudging against your clit as he cleaned you almost sent you into another orgasm. “B-Bri...”

You’re almost embarrassed at how weak your voice sounds, you’d had two mind blowing orgasms in the span of 1 hour, and you were absolutely shattered. Tugging on his hair, you attempt to pull Brian away from your pussy, desperate to feel his mouth on your other set of lips. He whines, resisting slightly, but he finally concedes, kissing over your thighs, then hips, then stomach, chest, neck--until he's kissing you full on, hands holding your face close to his, sighing softly into your mouth. His lips were as soft as could be, still glistening with your juices as he kisses your lips, his hands cradling your face. You move your own hands up, gently grasping onto his wrist as his lips work over you. He was somehow pouring more love into this kiss than you’d felt from anyone in your entire life.

His hair was gently brushing against your face, his nose nudging yours, foreheads presses together. You didn’t want this to end, this moment. You were so content, felt so happy and loved.. and it was all because of Brian. “I love you so much Brian.. please never doubt that.. and, god, just, whatever happens, never leave me... I know this sounds so childish and not at all feminist.. but, fuck, I love you.. I don’t want to lose you.. ever.”

He smiles at you, trying to comfort you, hand running over your nose. “I don't want anyone else for the rest of my life, Y/N. Just you. It's always been you.” He laughs a little. “I know that's cheesy, but it's true.” He brushes his thumb over your cheek gently “I'm so happy. There's no one I'd rather be with, or work with.”

You can't help but chuckle at his final line “Doctors Brian and Y/N May, astrophysics power couple...I think that works pretty well don't you?” You press his head down against your neck, brushing your hands through his hair. “Maybe we can have a joint office with that on the door one day.” Little did you know that you would be the only Doctor May in the family for almost four decades... but that’s a story for another day. He chuckles into your neck, moving his hips a bit to get comfortably, only to end up pushing his still hard cock into your thigh. Smirking a little, you reach down as grasp the hardness. “Well, now that we've been sweet and romantic for a minute, why don't you tell me how you want me to take care of you baby. Tell me EXACTLY what you want me to do...I want to fulfill all of your fantasies.”

Brian flushes, bucking into your touch gently. When he speaks it's mumbled, he’s embarrassed of his request “I... could you... I wanna feel your mouth.”

He hides his face in your neck. “O-only if you want to though.”

Oh, you definitely wanted to. Placing a kiss to Brian's brow, you gently roll him over onto his back, settling yourself in between his legs, placing open mouth kisses along his neck, his chest, stopping to suck on his nipples for moment before continuing down his stomach, until you get to his hips. God, he was genuinely such a tiny man.. his hip bones were practically sharp enough to cut glass, but you still leaned down, sucking on the skin there, nipping playfully at his hip bones as he gasped and whimpered under you, bucking his hips.

“You want me to suck you off baby? Is that what you want honey? For me to take you down my throat and swallow your whole fucking load?” You take his cock in his hand before he even had a chance to even react to your words, your fingers swirling his precum around his tip, teasing him before you allowed your tongue to dart out, kitten licking his slit.

He shudders, letting out a soft whine, throwing his forearm over his eyes “God, fuck, yes, I want it. Oh, shiiiiit!”

He peeks down at you, hips fidgeting on the mattress. “I might... I might cum fast though,”

He blushes down to his pale chest “Sorry. I'll work on it.”

You smirk against his cock, wrapping your lips around his swollen head, moaning into the sensitive organ as Brian's hips buck. Pulling off just enough to talk to him, your hand replaces your mouth immediately, pulling him hard and fast.

“That's okay baby, we've got all the time in the world, and I'll gladly help you get your stamina up honey... we can practice every.single.day” You punctuate your words by licking his Cock from base to tip, tongue hard on the underside of him, his vein throbbing against you. Brin groans, one of his hands coming up to thread his fingers through your hair, pushing it out of your face so he could watch you better. “Fuck, you look so good.”

He sucks in a sharp breath when you dip your tongue into his slit, hips twitching even as he tried to hold back. “Feels a-amazing, I can’t—god.”

His eyes flutter shut as his head falls back against his pillow, mouth falling open as you take him into your mouth. He couldn’t believe you were doing this to him, and he suddenly understands why Roger never shut up about this act.. You absolutely loved the feeling of his hands in my hair, not pressing you into him harder, just, holding you, wanting to see every single thing that you were doing to him. Your eyes hadn’t left his the whole time, only when his head falls back against the pillow do your eyes break contact.

His cock is throbbing so hard in your mouth, and you know he’s close, god the noises that were coming out of his mouth were near orgasmic. “Come on baby, cum for me, fill my whole fucking throat up Brian...”

It’s almost like your words push him over the edge, your permission finally allowing him to let go. “Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh—f-uck.” He’s frantically saying the phrase over and over again, cursing when his hips snap up just as you go back down on him. He starts to apologize, but then you’re moaning around him, taking him impossibly deep, and he nearly shouts as he cums, whimpering as you swallow around him. His grip is tight in your hair, his eyes wide as saucers as his whole body tenses before going limp against the mattress, shivering a little.

You happily swallow every ounce of cum that Brian gives you, your arms firmly wrapped around his hips, holding him still. His entire body was shaking, and given the sheer amount of his cum that you’d just swallowed, it was no surprise. After making sure you’d thoroughly sucked him dry, you place a few kisses to his softening cock and kiss your way back up his body, taking your time admiring the marks you’d left on him before meeting his lips with yours, softly kissing him, just trying to get his breathing regulated.

He kisses you eagerly, licking his own taste out of your mouth, his trembly hands on your face. “Mmm... Y/N... that was...Th-thank you.

He knows it’s lame, but he doesn’t know what else to say. It’d felt incredible. He feels shaky and almost faint but in the best way. You smile into the kiss, loving that you’d had such an effect on him. “You don’t have to thank me for doing something I’ve been dreaming of doing since I saw you in those tight orange bell bottoms last fall...”

You suck his bottom lip into your mouth, cheekily biting it lightly as Brian lets out a little whimper. Your fingers gently massaging his head, fingernails scratching his scalp lightly. “You did so good Bri.”

He simply cuddles close to you, wrapping his arms around you tightly. “M’glad i made you happy. I love you so much, Y/N. I’m so happy we’re here together.”

You smile and wrap your own arms around him, hugging him as close to your body as you can. “Me too Bri, you don’t even know how happy you’ve made me.”

Pressing a kiss down to his brow, you frown when he doesn’t respond. Peeking my head down at him, you chuckle when you see that he’s completely passed out, face pressed against your chest. “Sweet Dreams Bri, I love you.” Laying one final kiss to his forehead, you curl yourself against him, resigning yourself to sleep, and dreaming about what morning would bring.

Brian sleeps as late as can, curled up with you. He groans when the alarm goes off in the morning, not wanting to wake up. Screw his thesis. Screw his degree. He just wanted to stay cuddled with you in bed forever, completely content and cozy.

The piercing sound of the alarm sends you burying yourself further into Brian’s neck, groaning loudly along with him.

“God Bri, do we have to move? Can’t we just stay in bed all day long?” You are definitely not a morning person, and after yesterday’s activities, you were still absolutely exhausted. This day was absolutely going to suck so bad. “I promise I’ll be good and make you feel amazing if you just let us stay here...”

He pouts, rubbing his eyes, voice thick with sleep when he speaks. “Don't sayyyy thaaat, because you KNOW I want to say yes.”

Brian stretches a little before pulling you closer to him, curling around you. “Maybe we can tell the professors that something more important come up. He sniffles into your neck, showering your skin with little kisses.

You let out a little giggle as Bri’s kisses tickle your neck, the feeling sending you further into the bed and into his chest. Fuck, he was so warm and comfortable, and made you feel so incredibly safe and loved. Looking up into his hazel eyes, you smile widely at him. Puckering your lips in an attempt to get him to take the hint and kiss you. He sighs dramatically and does just that, moaning into the kiss as he pulls you up closer to him. His hands move to your ass, squeezing the cheeks as he presses your core against his raging hard on. Opening your mouth in a sigh only spurs him on, and he shoves his tongue into your mouth, kissing you as if your life depended on it. “B—“

Before you can even get a word out, the phone rings, the shrill sound permeating throughout the room and just absolutely scaring the living daylights out of the both of you. Scrambling to the side of the bed, you reach over and answer, smiling even more widely than you had been earlier at the words spoken to you on the other line. It was almost like a god was smiling down on the two of you.

Thanking the caller as you hang up the phone, you around to face Brian, mischievous smirk on my face. “Guess who don't have to lie to their professors about having a cold, because one of them has been exposed by his wife as a cheating whoremonger and is currently sweeping the charred remnants of his possessions off the pavement in front of his home in Clapham?”

Brian sits straight up, a grin on his face “No way. Seriously?!” He lets out a bright laugh “I don't know if I want the details of that or not.”

Joining him in laughter, you hop back in bed and taking up residence in his lap, placing soft kisses all over his face and neck in happiness. “Obviously we made somebody very happy in a past life, and all of our good karma is starting to shine through.”

Running a hand through his hair, you smile down at him, placing one final kiss to his lips before pulling away just slightly, hands moving down his chest “Now... where were we?”

Tags: @goodoldfashioned-rogerboy @leah-halliwell92 @stephydearestxo @unofficialbillnye @glasgowkisschelseasmile @dereones98 @danamaleksworld @rogertaylors-lipgloss @toomuchlove-willkillyou @brianmayoucease

#brian may x reader #brian may #queen #bohemian rhapsody #gwilym lee x reader #gwilym lee #queen x reader #brian may imagine #my writing

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