#oh no stede is becoming the mean pirate he tried not to be

[everyscreentoobeseen]

Maybe im just Stede-pilled but I didn't see him doing anything wrong in ep 6&7 till the Zheng Confrontation.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Killing Ned was inevitable and a good thing because it rid the world of a monster. Him getting praised and respected by other pirates isn't a crime. Him burning a dude is just a more direct version of burning the party boat. Plus the dude wanted to kill him. It's not shown that he died either so he's probably fine.

Not once did he act mean or nasty for no reason. Especially not during ep 7. He was just basking in receiving validation from the community he so desperately wanted to be accepted by.

The only reason he wanted to fight Zheng was because he not only lost Ed, but he was also losing Olu/Jim/Archie. His family. Which Zheng had no problem mocking him for. Then Steak Knife got pinched to ??death???unconsciousness??

Of course he's gonna act irrationally and draw his sword. Everyone is acting like Stede was becoming evil and corrupted but none of the shit he did even touches what Blackbeard did in his Kraken era... Not here for the Stede slander.

He's my little meow meow that can do no wrong.

[bemusedlybespectacled]

Question: I enjoyed s1 OF OFMD, but for various reasons I never actually got around to watching s2 (pick up most of the plot from tumblr tho). What exactly went wrong in s2 that got so many people upset?

Oh, boy. Very long rant incoming.

So, for context, S2 had a significantly smaller budget, which necessitated moving the filming location to union-unfriendly New Zealand, reducing the number of actors/number of appearances of established actors, and cutting down the number of episodes from 10 to 8. In a show where each episode is only about half an hour long, that last one alone was enough to seriously hamper any character development or plot. I am very comfortable putting the vast majority of the blame on HBO because of these financial decisions.

The short version is that Jenkins et. al. needed to address and build on the problems left hanging in S1 while also getting the characters to the end of their character trajectories in case there was no S3 while also leaving room for additional episodes in case there was a S3, in a grand total of four hours, and failed.

The long version is that there were a bunch of what I'd consider small problems in isolation that came together and exploded in the S2 finale.

The reduced cast necessitated breaking up the crew (ex: having Swede marry Jackie and stay on land with her, so they don't need to pay Nat Faxon for all eight episodes) and not spending as much time on their relationships as S1 did.

The reduced time meant that the entire season was rushed (in contrast to S1, which takes place over at least several weeks if not months, most of S2 takes place in roughly five days), leading both to a lot of telling rather than showing (because they don't have time to show you), including vital character and relationship development.

This includes:

Having the Kraken half of the crew beat Ed to death after months of being abused by him – abuse that is clearly shown to have given them PTSD and a well-justified fear and hatred of him – only for them to be okay with him two in-universe days later;

On that note, having Stede dismiss the crew's concerns about Ed because he loves him and also we only have three more episodes left to fit in everything so we need to get over it really fast, even though Stede is supposed to be well-meaning and caring (even if he's not good at it all the time);

Resolving the issue of Stede abandoning Ed in one day, then having them "go slowly" in their relationship for two days and then have some spur-of-the-moment sex, and then the next afternoon have them break up over their diverging career aspirations, and then the day after that resolve that problem and retire on land while the rest of the crew sails off into the sunset;

Stede becoming a fantastic pirate captain over the course of one day, becoming wildly popular in the piracy world two days later, and then deciding the day after that to never be a captain again because he is retiring with Ed;

Having Ed and Stede decide to retire together as what is implied to be the end point of their relationship arc, when none of Stede's issues from S1, like his poor self-esteem, have been so much as mentioned by anyone, implying that he's either magically gotten over them or they don't matter all that much, actually, even though they were the catalyst for basically everything he did in S1;

Ed having two separate character crises – "I am an unlovable person" and "I want to do something with my life other than piracy" – not spending a lot of time on either one, having moments that clearly indicate he is still working on both problems and they have not been resolved, and then apparently having them both be resolved in the final episode despite nothing occurring to actually make that happen, and in regards to the latter, despite the story actively undermining it by repeatedly showing he can't do anything other than piracy;

Related to the above, Ed ending the series as allegedly being loved by the crew as a family (thus solving Crisis #1) despite this never actually being shown, demonstrated, or even fucking alluded to onscreen. If anything, it shows the exact opposite.

This last point is especially galling to me because of what is probably the most divisive issue in the fandom right now: killing off Izzy Hands after giving him seven episodes of character development.

The show begins with the Kraken crew clearly trying to use the skills they learned as part of Stede's crew to cope with their incredibly shitty situation and care for each other, which includes Izzy. Izzy, on his end, tries to protect the crew and speak up for them, which results in him being repeatedly hurt (both implicitly, as Ed at one point says "that's another toe" in response to Izzy advocating for the crew and we later see he's missing more than one toe already, and explicitly, as Ed shoots him in the fucking leg in front of the crew when he stands up for them).

This camaraderie is shown again and again and again. Frenchie, Jim, and Archie take care of Izzy while his leg is infected, at risk to their own lives. Izzy's misery over losing his leg is what unites the PTSD-ridden Kraken crew and the well-meaning-but-ignorant-of-PTSD marooned crew, who are initially at odds, to make him a new prosthetic leg. Izzy gives Lucius advice about forgiving Ed. Izzy is introduced to drag and opens up enough to sing at a crew party, and the whole crew is having fun together while Ed and Stede are in their cabin having sex for the first time. Izzy gives Stede pirate captain lessons and bonds with him when Ed leaves him. Izzy provokes the season's villain into focusing on him and then gives a big speech about how piracy is about belonging to something, giving the rest of the crew time to try to escape.

Recall that Season 1 had some pretty well-established universe rules, one of which was that it runs on Muppet physics/magical realism. People can jump off yardarms, hit the side on the way down, and be perfectly fine. People can get stabbed in the liver and it's totally okay because it's probably not that important, and even can stay pinned to a mast all night that way with only mild discomfort. Buttons can talk to birds and see long distances without a spyglass and put hexes on people. Good people can be hurt (Stede is stabbed repeatedly), bad people can die (the Badmintons, Geraldo), but no one we care about is ever killed.

This is repeated in Season 2: Ed is beaten into a coma with a cannonball and wakes up like Sleeping Beauty after a spirit journey, with no injuries to his face or body. Buttons turns into a seagull after spending an episode doing a magic ritual and is never seen again (because they couldn't keep paying Ewen Bremner due to the budget cuts). Jackie microdoses her husbands with poison to build up their immunity, so that she can later pull a Dread Pirate Westley and poison the British with shared drinks.

So: in the finale, the villain of the season is taken hostage by the pirates (for reasons? unclear how that fits in the plan), happens to have a gun on him (no one checked??), shoots Izzy on the right side and then leaves with no repercussions. The entire crew stands around silently doing nothing while Ed cries over Izzy and tells him that he's his only family.

And Izzy fucking Hands, the guy who just spent eight episodes bonding with and protecting everyone, uses his last words to reassure Ed that him becoming Blackbeard/the Kraken was Izzy's fault and that the crew is Ed's family and they all love him. No one else says anything to Izzy or tries to comfort him or help him in any way.

I repeat: in a show predicated on the idea that bullies and bigots die stupid deaths while queer people and POC are basically magic, a show that was praised for being kind to queer people by not making them worry about their faves suffering or dying, a show founded on the strength of the relationships between the characters, the guy who went through a season-long arc of learning to embrace his pirate found family and his own queerness is shot for stupid reasons on the side we're told isn't important and dies while everyone just stands there. His last words are about the whole crew loving Ed when the only person that the whole crew has loved all season is him.

Anyway, never mind all that, let's cut to Lucius and Pete getting married and Stede and Ed retiring!

Complicating all this is that people who liked Izzy (or even said anything insufficiently mean about Izzy) were harassed for months in between seasons with insults, slurs, and actual fucking death threats. Izzy's growth was kind of a vindication for liking him: it meant that, despite all the harassment, we were right to like him and care about him as a character. Even people who didn't like him initially started to like him during Season 2.

And then he dies, and now there's a bunch of people saying that Izzy fans are big whiny babies who can't handle fictional death, and actually his death was so meaningful and beautiful and the only logical end to his arc, and it can't be bad writing because people die in real life all the time, and also he admitted he fed Ed's darkness so actually he was a terrible person all along anyway and they were right to hate him (and his fans)!

So, yeah, there are a lot of reasons why it's so hated, and I'm probably only addressing the problems of the pro-Izzy people (from what I can tell, BlackBonnet shippers who don't like Izzy think Ed and Stede's relationship is fine and dandy, but I'm sure that there are other criticisms they have that I have not addressed). I'm not even addressing the issues with Jim and Oluwande's relationship this season (and whooo boy are there issues).

It wasn't a universally bad season. There were episodes I really loved and still do. But the finale was a train wreck, and because it was a train wreck, a lot of people are looking back at what happened before the wreck and realizing that, oh, the train lost its brakes and steering because of the budget cuts and the engineers kept throwing fuel in the engine to make it go faster, and huh, now that I think of it, that part earlier in the trip was really wobbly but I didn't pay much attention to it at the time because I was sure the engineers had everything covered.

[nicnacsnonsense]

AU where Izzy is complaining to Jack about Stupid Stede Fucking Bonnet after getting himself exiled from the ship, and Jack is listening to all this and comes to the conclusion that Ed is fucking brilliant. Because Ed has successfully retired from pirating like he wanted by getting himself this sweet sugaring set up where he can just mooch off this stupid rich guy. In fact it’s so brilliant Jack is going to steal the idea and whole set up. So Jack still shows up to the Revenge, still tries to manipulate a gulf between Stede & Ed, but this time he’s ingratiating himself to Stede and ostracizing Ed.

I imagine that Stede would still pick up on the bad vibes from Jack right away, but when he goes to ask Ed like, hey, seems like Jack is being kind of shitty to you, Ed hasn’t realized what’s going on yet and insists that this is all just friendly ribbing, and Stede takes him at his word. Eventually Ed does realize Jack is up to something, which Jack readily confesses to when Ed confronts him, but Jack also says he’ll deny it if Ed tries to tell Stede, and is Ed really sure at this point that Stede will pick him over Jack. So it becomes a silent battle between the two of them to see who can get the other kicked off the ship first.

Then one day Stede, very serious, asks if he can have a private word with Ed. And Ed is like, oh no, this is it, Jack convinced Stede to kick me off the ship. They go to the captains quarters to have their private conversation, Ed walking like a man to the gallows, and Stede is like, I know you said it was friendly ribbing but I’m really uncomfortable with the way Jack speaks with you and also he’s been saying some very mean things behind your back and I don’t think he’s really your friend. And Ed is all 🥺You mean you like and trust me more than Jack? 🥺🥹 To which Stede is just, I fucking hate Jack, I was only being nice to him because you said he was your friend. They talk some more, then they kiss, and then sometime later they finally get around to going back up on deck to kick Jack to the curb.

[follows-the-bees]

I did an analysis of the meaning of Ed touching Stede's chest, hand over heart, here.

But now I wanna talk about the meaning of face touches - and Ed's outfits - across both seasons.

Bathtub Comfort

The first time Stede touches Ed's face is when Ed is seeking comfort. After he opens up about him being the Kraken, killing his dad and his plan to kill him, Stede offers a comforting shoulder squeeze and Ed deepens it by lying his head against Stede's hand. It is an intimate moment of vulnerability for both, especially Ed and he doesn't hesitate to accept it.

While Ed is wearing his Blackbeard outfit here, he is also covered in Stede's robe, like just the thought of Stede's presence can be a shield to the outside world and Ed's internal emotional struggle. And to have Stede come in and physically touch him, his face, Ed is completely comfortable in this combination of both of them, their vulnerability.

This Is Happening

In the next episode, Stede points out food in Ed's beard and when Ed can't find it, Stede asks permission to take it out. He doesn't fully reach for it until Ed gives permission (the amount of consent between these two, especially in the second season is so special to me) and leans forward (the classic Ed leans toward Stede movement that continues throughout the show.)

Ed is also not wearing his full Blackbeard outfit here, he has stripped down to just a simple purple T-shirt and pants. And we know that purple comes out as Ed's feelings for Stede deepen. So in this moment, Ed is more Ed than Blackbeard.

This is a soft, tender moment that shows the growing feelings between them. Stede's voice is as soft as his reach and touch while Ed looks at Stede so fondly, openly vulnerable.

Beach Kiss Eins

The first time Ed touches Stede's face, is during their first kiss. As soon as Stede responds, Ed moves his hand to his neck and down to his chest. And the pattern of vulnerability, closeness, and gentleness continues.

Neither of them are wearing their normal clothes here. They are wearing uniform, tan ill-fitting sacks (foreshadowing). Their first kiss is not only bare with emotional intimacy but of their identities. They aren't Blackbeard and the Gentleman Pirate during this moment, they are Ed and Stede, two men in love for probably the first time, sitting on a beach, the combination of land and sea.

Let's move to Season Two.

Cake Toppers

Oh, the cake toppers. Those damn cake toppers. They are the embodiment of the two of them to Ed, who caresses the wedding cake topper resembling Stede so much that he rubs some of the paint off. And just like every touch between the two of them so far, Ed lightly grazes the figure in a tentative but gentle way that shows he still has deep feelings for this man no matter how many raids, rhino horn, or self abusive behavior he tries to use to drown out his pain and the Kraken persona that he has put on like a sea monster lost in the deep dark depths of the sea.

Gif credit

Stede's Dream

In Stede's dream about their reunion, the two comically Monty Python (can we call them Monty Pyrates from now on?) run down the beach and full body collide against each other rolling to get on their sides, where Ed is the one to reach forward and touch Stede's face. This is Stede remembering how Ed did the same thing during their first kiss and he is recreating this moment in a fairytale fashion.

Their clothing is once again notable. Stede is wearing a more traditional pirate costume, earring, and has grown a beard. While we saw sword training last season between the two of them, Stede does not truly start wearing one until later in the second season. This is him trying to become who he thinks Ed would want, not the bumbling semi-pirate, but the confident, killing pirate with facial hair and more down-to-earth look. Ed is not only portrayed in his traditional garb but he has his old beard is back, he is the version that Stede first fell in love with. (Stede loves Ed as Ed though, no matter what he wears.)

Moonlight Serenade

Their first kiss under the moonlight is tentative and is a mirror of the moon scene in season one.

This is the first time that Stede touches Ed's face during kissing of his own volition. Even when he was trying to bring Ed back to life in episode three, he held his hand and pounded on his chest, over his heart, trying to shock it into fully beating to life.

He's been dreaming of Ed as touching his face again like the first kiss, but instead Stede is the one who moves his hand to Ed's face, and deepens the kiss. Because Stede is ready for this, and he wants to show Ed that he is here, he is committed to them. It is Ed who pulls away and asks to take it slow, because he is the one who has to heal in this scenario. This is his season, his season to heal, grow, and learn to reconcile all three sides of his being.

When Ed pulls back, Stede immediately responds, taking his hands off Ed to respect his wishes. And he only touches him again after gaining consent to hold his hand. Once again, we are treated to their gentleness, hesitancy, but the underlying love they have for each other is present in every cradle, fingers through hair, consent.

Instead of like the first season where they walk away in different directions, looking back at each other while trying to puzzle out what happened, they walk away together, toward the captain's cabin, still talking about their day and playfully playing off each other.

Once again they are not wearing their normal clothes, particularly, Ed is not wearing his Blackbeard outfit. He is wearing a light-colored onesie made from a potato sack as well as a cat bell. A bell he purposefully makes ring in an adorable shoulder shake to let Stede know that he is coming in for a kiss - unlike their first one, where he almost surprises Stede with it. We don't see it, but I bet Ed thought that maybe if he didn't surprise him, if he hadn't kissed him but kept talking, Stede wouldn't have left him. He probably blamed himself for that, so he made sure this time that Stede knew what was happening beforehand.

Calypso's Birthday

They are both physically injured from Ned Low's torture as well as in mental distress here. Stede is having flashbacks of his childhood and blood on his face because this is the first time he has purposely gotten blood on his hands. Ed is upset at seeing Stede take this step, thinking that he has corrupted him. But once again, they both consent to this, Stede does not even move forward or kiss Ed until Ed nods his head and then physically pulls Stede against him. This kiss is a combination of the first two. Ed's hand wraps around and on Stede's neck like the beach one, while Stede's hand snakes its way into Ed's hair when he deepens the kiss. This is the first and only time we see their bodies align and touch at more than just the contact of hands and lips.

Later on we see both of them in a different state of undress. Ed's hair is completely down, and he's once again in a t-shirt, stripped down emotionally and looking at Stede like he's the center of the world as the colors of their love - red and purple - surround them, until Ed looks directly at Stede and the burst of yellow - his lighthouse - shines bright. Stede is already shirtless at this part, his vulnerability bared skin-surface level.

Beach Kiss Zwei

And of course, we reach the finale, where In general the number of touches has escalated; they have chosen each other, chosen to give this a try. Ed emerges out of the ocean and all three themes (the Kraken, Blackbeard, and Ed) play all in a row, because he took what Pop-Pop said to heart and embraced all three of his identities to save and protect his loved ones.

One hand is on Stede's face almost the entire time they are reunited on the beach, and after the first kiss and apology, Ed moves both hands to Stede's face, using that leverage to pull him in for a kiss, holding onto him for dear life. He doesn't let go until Stede responds to his "I love you" reassuring Ed that he knows that, and Ed can drop his worry about Stede not knowing/hearing those words before that moment. Ed smiles and moves his hands down, and if they weren't in the middle of a battle, he would have wrapped his arms around him, pulled him in to align with his body, and kissed him again.

I particularly love this one because we can see the desperation, especially for Ed during this moment. He clearly doesn't want to stop touching Stede, only doing so out of necessity at the end. Stede is quiet, that calmness that Ed needs, just enjoying being in Ed's presence "breathing the same air."

This is the first time that they are wearing their full identities while kissing. Covered in blood, having just dropped weapons used to kill soldiers to get to each other, only to touch and kiss each other with softness and love but also desperation.

This is also the first time they openly embrace each other. All season, things have been slightly off while they take it slow, try to figure out their status together and separate. They stand apart, but still facing/bodies turned toward each other, only a few inches away. And they never touch in the presence of others, instead only kissing in the candlelight of the captain's cabin and under the moonlight. But now they are under the bright sun in front of The Pirate Queen and countless red shirts, two who were making fun of the letter Stede wrote Ed before Ed dispatched them. And Ed even reaches over later to put his hand on Stede's shoulder in front of Zheng, offering him comfort and saying yes babe, I see you, don't worry.

They kiss on the beach!! combining the sea and the land - the lighthouse, kraken, merman, flightless birds now grounded- they are the MERMEN.

Gif credits

Overall, the touches exchanged between Ed and Stede are all laced in emotion, vulnerable. And as their relationship progresses, these touches also evolve enough that by the end, kissing or touching each other's face no longer needs a pause and explicit consent because they are comfortable enough to know each other and their boundaries.

But there is something particular about the face touching between them. It shows a higher level of intimacy and romance that is at the heart of our mythical beings who have finally found each other and met in the middle, combining land and sea.

I didn't include the touches previous to the bathtub, like Ed hugging Stede after the lighthouse fuckery, or during the party, first moon scene, because I wanted to focus on the face touching primarily since it offers more depth to their relationship. I did this from memory, so I apologize if I missed any.

[lgbtqasacrew]

PLSPLSPLSPLSPLS CAN I HAVE A TOOTH ROTTINGLY FLUFFLY HURT/COMFORT FIC WITH STEDDYHANDS X READER

Reader gets pretty messed up mentally and physically after getting kidnapped by the British navy and they all comfort them and patch them up??? Either he/him or they/them pronouns if possible 🩷🩷🩷

Summary: Coping with the aftermath of being held captive by the British Navy, your partners do their best to look after you

Relationships: Steddyhands x Reader

Word count: 2.7k+

Warnings: Descriptions of injuries, hand wavey pirate medical care, brief mentions of suicidal ideation, mentions of panic attacks and nightmares

A/N: Sorry this took so long, I kinda got carried away with this one oops, I hope there’s enough fluff in there, I got quite into the hurt/comfort part. They/them pronouns for reader

Stede carried you to the captain’s cabin carefully, scared of hurting you further. Ed and Izzy not far behind, Izzy barking some orders at a worried looking crew before slamming the door behind him. You jump at the sudden noise, taking you back to your time in the cell. Stede held you closer, pressing a kiss into your hair, whispering sweet nothings to try and calm you down.

“Sorry” Izzy apologised, chastising himself for making things worse.

You couldn’t help the whimper you let out when Stede lowered you onto the bed you share with all three of your loves. “I’m sorry, darling” Stede apologised, you were quick to assure him it’s not his fault. He was taking such tender care of minding your injuries but they all hurt so much.

One you’re laid onto the sheets, all three men were gently removing your clothes to inspect your injuries. Izzy walked away, your heart ached at the idea of not being near him, but he soon returned, arms full of medical supplies. You suspected that he’d grabbed everything that’s on the ship. Although you felt bad that they were so worried about you, you had to admit it was nice to be cared for.

“Shit Y/N” Izzy exclaimed as he removed your shirt. Your entire torso was covered in bright red cuts from the cat they’d used to torture you. You’d been captured on shore leave, you’d only left your partners sides to get some fresh air. Next thing you know you’re ambushed and taken to a prison owned by the British Navy. Their intentions to torture you to get to Blackbeard and the Gentleman Pirate.

“Oh my darling” Stede cooed, pressing kisses into your hair

“Stede help them sit up for a minute” Izzy asks. Your back matched your front, possibly even worse, ugly raised cuts covering your skin.

“At least we’re matching now Iz” you tried to joke, he humoured you with a huff, offering a small smile that left his lips the moment you looked away again. Izzy and Ed gently work on your back, cleaning it with such tender care, Stede sat beside you holding your hand the whole time.

You hear sniffling beside you to find tears sliding down Stede’s cheeks, it breaks your heart. “I’m sorry”

“What are you sorry for darling?” he asks

“You’re crying because of me”

“Oh honey” he wiped the tears away with the hand not holding yours “I’m upset to see you hurt but it’s not your fault”

“But I wasn’t careful enough, got myself captured like an idiot”

You felt comforting fingers combing through your hair, you somehow knew it’s Izzy, he’s always loved playing with your hair. “It wasn’t your fault love” Ed says “we’re the ones that left you alone”

“I shouldn’t need babysitting” you sulked

“That’s not what Ed means, sweetheart” Stede assured you “it’s just safer if you’re not alone, it’s the same for all of us”

“Yeah next time we’re there we’ll stick together” Ed adds

Shit, you hadn’t considered that one day you might have to return there, the idea made you feel sick. “We don’t really have to go back there, do we?” you could feel your heartbeat rising, your palms suddenly becoming increasingly sweaty.

The three men look at each other, distressed by your sudden panic. “No darling, I’m sure we can avoid going back” Stede says, looking to Ed for backup

“Yeah, there’s plenty of other places we can go, don’t worry about it love” lightly squeezing your shoulder.

“Right your back is all done dear” Izzy says “shall we help you lean back again” They help you lean back against the pillows, it’s painful but you think you’d be in pain no matter how you laid. They do the same for the wounds on your front as you just lay there, mostly staring at nothing. Stede must notice you zoning out as he gives your hand another squeeze, you look to him as he gives you what is probably meant to be a reassuring smile.

They checked the rest of your body, massaging your wrists where they’d been bound for hours, they were so sore, really every part of your body was sore. Once they were sure every injury had been tended to properly, Ed and Izzy awkwardly hovered near you, wanting to comfort you so badly but scared they’d somehow make it all worse.

You took Izzy’s hand, rubbing circles in the back of it. “Join us?” you asked, looking between the two men.

“Are you sure love? We don’t wanna hurt you” Ed replied

“Just do as Y/N says” Stede backs you up, already shuffling closer to the window to make room. They helped you move over until you’re in Stede’s arms, the feel of Stede’s broad chest against your back is a comfort. Izzy slides in next to you with Ed close behind, being surrounded by your partners is pure bliss after the past few days. For the first time in what feels like ages, your body finally lets you rest.

You awoke with a jolt to someone screaming, wait it’s you that’s screaming. You had a nightmare, back in that navy cell as soldier after soldier would come in to torture you as they pleased, as you begged for them to stop and they’d just laugh in your face. Your screaming had of course woken all three men who were wrapped around you but you couldn’t even register them talking as your ears were ringing and your body felt like it was on fire.

One of your partners must have touched your arm to try and comfort you, but to your muddled brain it was a navy soldier wanting to hurt you. You struggled out of their grasp, shooting out of the bed in search of safety.

All three men looked at each other, not sure what just happened, wanting to go comfort you but not wanting to make things worse. Stede, who had been the one to touch you, felt terrible, all he had wanted to do was provide some comfort, he hadn’t wanted to scare you.

“It's not you love” Ed tries to assure him “they woke up screaming, must’ve been having a nightmare, they probably didn’t even know where they were” Logically Stede knew what Ed was saying made sense, but he couldn’t help the hurt he felt when you’d recoiled from his touch.

“What if they don’t want to be with us anymore?”

“I don’t think it’s that” Izzy replied “Y/N has been through a lot, we just have to be there for them”

Stede found you in the auxiliary wardrobe hidden under his golden robe, he had to admit it warmed his heart that you had found safety in an item of his. But he was more worried about you, how small you looked, distress etched into every feature on your tear streaked face.

He approached you in a similar way that you’d approach a scared animal, kneeling in front of you but leaving some space between, not risking touching you again yet. Your brain was clearer now, you were mostly just embarrassed by your outburst. “I’m sorry” your voice so small, it was only audible due to the close proximity.

“Oh darling, you have nothing to be sorry for” Stede assured you “I’m sorry for scaring you back there”

“No” you shake your head, it wasn’t his fault, it’s your fucked up brain. “You didn’t do anything”

He nods in understanding. “I’m assuming you had a nightmare, do you want to talk about it?”

The idea of talking about any of it in that moment seemed impossible, your heart beating faster just at the idea. Another sob tore through you as you shook your head. “I’m sorry, I can’t”

He offered you a small smile “That’s okay dear, Y/N would it be okay if I touched you?”

You didn’t respond with words, instead launching yourself onto him, he took this as permission, wrapping his arms around you, rubbing your back as you cried. “Shh, I’ve got you, I’ve got you my love”

Once your sobs had subsided, he led you back to the bed where Ed and Izzy were waiting for you. You immediately jumped into Ed’s arms, burying your face in his chest, the comforting scent of lavender helping to calm you down. “Shh love you’re safe here, we’ve got you” rocking you gently as it you were a baby, it was actually quite comforting.

You were too scared to go back to sleep that night, worried that the nightmares would return as soon as you closed your eyes. “Stede?”

“Yes darling?”

“Will you read to me?”

He smiled at that, one of his favourite things to do is read to his partners, or anyone for that matter. All four of you settled back into bed, Stede had picked a book of fairytales. You laid your head on Stede’s shoulder so you could see the illustrations, Ed curled around your other side, mindful of your injuries, whilst Izzy laid next to him curled around Ed. Eventually you did find yourself drifting off to sleep again, lulled by the sound of Stede’s voice.

Your stomach turned at the sight of breakfast, Stede had asked Roach to put on a full spread for your first morning back, it was a lovely gesture. But you’d been on reduced rations your whole time in the cell, your stomach had shrunk and eating just felt overwhelming to you.

You nibbled on a croissant hoping it wouldn’t be too much for your stomach to handle, all three of your partners watched you as you ate. You knew they were just concerned but it was kinda off putting, plus it was easily going to give away your lack of appetite.

“Why don’t you have some toast and marmalade?” Stede offered.

“I’m fine thanks babe”

“They’ve barely eaten” Izzy interjects, he sounded angry but you knew he was just concerned about you.

“Izzy” Ed warns

“They need to eat Ed, i’m sure those twats barely fed them”

“Izzy’s right, they could get really ill” Stede adds

Whilst the men were discussing you like you weren’t even there, you found yourself bursting into tears. Once again you were burdening the men you loved the most, you wondered if it had been better if you’d died in that cell. Yes they would’ve been upset but they had each other, now they had to worry about you too.

Stede, who was sitting opposite you, was the first one to notice your tears, immediately running over to comfort you. “Oh my darling” brushing away your tears with his thumb. “I’m sorry, we shouldn’t have been talking about you as if you’re not here”

“It’s not your fault i’m so broken”

“Hey, you are in no way broken” he reassured you

“Stede I can’t even eat a stupid croissant without bursting into tears and now you’re all worried about me”

“It’s only because we love you”

“You don’t have to”

Ed’s head snapped up at that “What?”

“You don’t have to be with me anymore, just drop me off at the nearest port, or even just push me over the side of the ship, everyone would be better off”

Your partners stared at you with wide eyes, shocked that you could say such a thing. Izzy couldn’t take it anymore, you cringed at the sound of his chair scraping against the floor as he stood up, storming off and slamming the door behind him. He wasn’t angry with you, he was furious at himself, he had sworn to protect you and failed, and now you were asking them to throw you overboard. Ed followed him after him whilst Stede stayed to comfort you, guiding you over to the sofa so you could cuddle.

“How about a bath darling? I always find them really relaxing”

It was nice to be able to wash off all the grime, it hadn’t exactly been clean in that cell.

Once the bath had been filled with warm water, Stede guided you to the tub, helping you undress without aggravating your injuries too much. The water was soothing even if it made your cuts sting, it was nice to be clean again after so long. Your eyes closed as Stede gently cleaned your skin, it was soothing to be so cared for after everything that’s happened.

“Does Izzy hate me?” You asked him, worrying about why he had stormed out at breakfast.

“What? No darling, he’s just worried about you like we all are”

“I don’t mean to worry everyone”

“I know love, none of this is your fault, we just want to help you”

“What if I- what if I can’t be helped”

“Oh honey, it’s going to be okay, you have us, and the crew and we all love you and want to help you, okay?” You nodded, maybe Stede was right, they’re your family, maybe they can help you to heal. He takes extra care as he washes the dirt and sweat out of your hair, having clean hair again feels amazing.

You’re resting with Stede on the sofa when Ed and Izzy re-enter the cabin, both men look like they’ve been crying which makes your heart sink, knowing it was probably because of you.

“Iz has something to say” Ed nudged his partner forward

“I- um, I wanted to apologise for storming out”

“It’s fine Iz” you promise him “I know you just needed some time” Ok part of you had been convinced that Izzy was angry at you, but deep down you knew he sometimes needed that time alone to think.

“I just wish there was something I could do”

“Iz love, just having you three here with me is enough”

“Hmm” He wasn’t convinced, he’s used to being in control of a situation, he in no way blames you but everything now feels out of whack and he doesn’t know what to do.

You held your hands out gesturing for him to come closer, once he’s in front of him you held his hands in yours. “I mean it Iz, as long as I have you three I’ll be okay” He nodded, a stray tear falling down his cheek, he knew he would be there for you, whatever you needed. He joined you on the sofa, sitting on the other side, whilst Ed sat next to Stede. You had no idea how long you all stayed like that but frankly you didn’t care.

Over the next few weeks you were slowly recovering, your appetite getting a little better day by day, but you were still occasionally plagued by nightmares and there was that constant nagging fear that it would happen again. You knew you wouldn’t survive it a second time.

It didn’t escape anyone’s notice that you were constantly stuck to the side of at least one of your partners at any given time. Once there was an incident where Stede had left you for a second with Jim and Olu and you started freaking out, he definitely didn’t make that mistake again.

You felt pathetic, but even the thought of being apart from them again, albeit even just in another room, was too much to bear. No one ever commented on it, it was just this unspoken new normal for the ship, where your partners were, you weren’t far behind. They were of course worried about you but were happy that you felt comforted by their presence, plus they had to admit it was comforting to them to know you were safe.

This was fine until the ship was raided, meaning you got separated from your partners, you ended up fleeing to one of the secret rooms. As soon as the raid was over they start to panic about where you’d gone, luckily Lucius had seen you flee and points them in the right direction.

They find you curled up in the corner of one of the smallest rooms, this doesn’t dissuade them from joining you though. It’s a tight fit, what with two of your partners being around six foot, but it’s actually quite comforting to be so close.

They don’t say anything, just huddled close, your breaths mingling in the small space. You still had a long way to go but you knew you’d never have to cope alone.

[thewisecheerio]

Historicity of OFMD

It's been a wild ride finding out that all the parts of Our Flag Means Death that seem completely believable are historically inaccurate, and all the parts that seem completely ridiculous are true.

Completely believable and historically inaccurate (as far as we know):

-Stede and Blackbeard were a couple. It's not impossible, but we don't have solid evidence.

-Blackbeard couldn't read/write. Evidence suggests he could: he likely grew up wealthy (and therefore would have been taught), and was found with a letter addressed to him on his person at his death.

-Blackbeard had a rather unkempt beard, supporting the name. Descriptions suggest he wore a very kempt beard decorated with braids, pigtails, or ribbons.

Completely ridiculous and true to history:

-Stede Bonnet, a wealthy aristocrat, ran away to become a pirate. He did so because of an unhappy marriage. He was previously a wealthy landowner, and yes he sure did leave because he didn't get along with his wife.

-Stede Bonnet went by the name "The Gentleman Pirate". Sounds like a made up name? Too bad. He sure did go by this moniker.

-Bonnet was an absolutely terrible pirate captain, losing command of his crew to Blackbeard. Yes, I know it feels like some sort of excuse for plot shenanigans, but it's really what happened. Blackbeard took command of his crew, with Bonnet's crew's wholehearted consent, some time in 1717.

-Bonnet paid his crew a wage, regardless of any treasure they might have plundered. …He did. This was not made up for convenience to support his ridiculous moniker; this is a thing he actually chose to do. It was also an unusual choice for pirates, who mostly shared plundered loot, completely in support of Bonnet's odd character.

-Blackbeard had menacing smoke emanating from his face, adding to the ferocity of his image. Does this sound like he was being mythologized? Nope, also true. He was said to have placed lit fuses under his hat to have created the smoke so as to appear more ferocious.

-Both pirates were tried for treason, and then received royal pardons. It wasn't simultaneous, but this did happen to each separately.

-Blackbeard marooned Bonnet's crew on a small island. Yep. Yep he sure did. Oh you think this sounds like more plot shenanigans? Wrong.

-Look, there are a lot of these. The show is completely ridiculous, and somehow still mostly true. I'm going to stop here.

[biceratops7]

Izzy's redemption arc pisses me off the longer I think about it.

This is mean as fuck but he's a fake person with no feelings so I don't care. By the time it happened, I was lowkey taking Izzy's death as a consolation prize. MAN did his stupid friggin' arc suck so much fucking time away from things that were actually important, it makes me so mad. That screen time could've been dedicated to, hmm, I don't know... Ed actually bonding with and earning back trust of the crew in a real way, Stede and Ed having an actual adult conversation about their issues and anxieties instead of just smooching it all better, Zheng and Oluwande actually having chemistry, Lucius's trauma being actually addressed and taken seriously instead of everyone telling him to get over it, etc etc ect.

Not to mention that so many characters had to take a back seat or do backflips into wtf territory in order to make it believable. Um no, I didn't just have amnesia about the first season, these choices make no damn sense. Izzy feels like a black hole that just bent the characters around him to suit his progression, or just swallowed them whole. Ed is grappling with knowing his inner freedom and happiness comes at the direct cost of shedding the armor of Blackbeard, getting a taste of what he risks becoming truly vulnerable in his darkest moment? Nope, this is about Izzy now and how a suddenly cartoonishly violent Ed is so darn mean to him.

Stede is continuing his lessons into pirating. Oh great, more flirty bonding time for him and Ed, his lover and very capable teacher! Haha, no silly, Izzy does that now. Wee John pulls the most iconic bombshell drag look on the seven seas? Ooh this would be a perfect time to give him some much needed time to shine, and perhaps pull Frenchie in as his partner in camp crime seeing as they have a strong bond- oh wait never mind here come's Izzy. And as a bonus we get to see him insert himself into an incredibly intimate milestone of Ed and Stede's not once, but twice!

Stede is devastated and confused by Ed suddenly dumping him, so surely he should turn to... let's see, Oluwande, Lucius, or anyone who's actually been there for him in the past when everything was so new. OR we can go with the guy who tried to kill him because he made the mistake of making Ed one of those "namby pamby" gays falling in love with Ed. That's um... That's certainly also a choice...*dies*

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

It's me James!

I am sick and tired of Physics so let me tell you about Our Flag Means Death. (Trying to kidnap you yes)

I think someone else already tried to on your ofmd post but it's my turn now

It's gay. It's sad then it becomes not sad. There's cannibalism and witchcraft and fuckery.

I binge watched the entire thing in two days because oh my god

I will lay down my life for Blackbeard, vicious pirate and murderer. So would Stede. They're so cute, Asmi!!!

Anyway.

There's nothing like watching two gay men set things on fire. And of course there's Izzy. Izzy Izzy Izzy. Where do I start with Izzy. I hated him, loved him, and might have shed a tear or twenty when he sang us a song.

Let me tempt you

NOT-JAMES THE ANON MAGGOT I AM TERRIFIED. WHERE DID THE CANNIBALISM COME I--WAIT WAS THAT BY THE LESBIANS. IDK.

I FORGOT ABOUT OFMD THOSE POSTS WERE SO LONG AGO OMG.

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

Thoughts on Izzy/Prince Ricky pre episodes 4/5.

When I first saw the trailer, I got it. We got a dumb blonde on screen with Con O'Neill, and yeah. That is, in fact, enough.

Pair it with the actual show, where Ricky is a mirror to Stede from S1? Oh yeah. Pair off an idiot trying and a competent man in leather, and Tumblr will ship it. Hell, I can't blame them.

Overall, tldr outside of theorizing. It's a fine ship! I do think Rickey will get killed off, but hey. If fans want to write spin-off stories where Rickey realizes he's queer, runs away from the Navy, and falls in love with Izzy(not necessarily in that order) I WILL READ IT. SEND IT TO ME.

I read the fucking Aubrey-Maturin book series(aka 'Masters and Commanders') for the HINTS of tension between two men.

NOW- Speculation time.

I *THEORIZE* Ricky is a high-ranking official spying on Stede and his crew in s2ep 1.

History:

[At this time(1700s ish), younger sons further down the line of a large inheritance were often sent to the Military. Their family hoped that maybe their 'spare' kids could give their name legacy in the military; gaining them social status and money. If the older kids die, then your younger ones can still come back...but you can just forget they exist for a bit.

Their parents pay for their rank, so rich young men with no ship experience would be in charge of sections or even the entirety of a crew (of men who were so poor they chose THIS over death).]

This matches what we've seen of his personality so far. Not very good with people with a misguided understanding of what Piercy is, thanks to novels and propaganda.

This explains the scenes we see in the trailer with Prince Rickey in military garb. So why did he get himself caught in s2ep1? Simple. He's an idiot who paid his way in.

Maybe it's all a game, sure, maybe he's playing 5d chess. Maybe he didn't mean to get caught, but the 'Ricky' drink? Purposefully slowing down their escape, making his target lose trust in him? No. It screams dumbass.

SO-here's what I think.

Ricky was put in charge since the Navy thought Stede WAS dead. But, for official 'escaping the Act Of Grace' reasons, they still needed to investigate. Enter: Guy they don't know what to do with, whose family/(or hell, maybe HE ALONE) has paid quite a bit of money to play 'hero'. Ricky gets a lead at the Republic and BAM he finds his man. He doesn't have long so he tries to make Stede trust and maybe even follow him(?). (This is the most flimsy part of the theory, but fuck it). So he tells Stede about a bit of a rumor he heard. Knowing they both knew what exactly that chest meant. Then, he gets caught and loses a nose.

He's not great at his job.

(I also theorize that Izzy is ex-navy and left to become a pirate due to a rich twat abusing power. This could explain why Izzy REALLY hated Stede's shows of wealth in S1. Which could make these two a really funny ship that actually discusses class, power, and the effects of wealth.)

[I had a whole list of links for historical piracy sources if anyone needs me to find 'evidence' I will try! It wasn't the ONLY way people became heads of ship, but it was fairly common to pay your way to the position in the Navy vs. Merit in piracy!]

[bookshelfdreams]

"Shitfuck!"

Ed does not scream. He is a legendary pirate captain, the terror of the seven seas, and he does not scream. He curses. Loudly.

And maybe jumps two steps back, in a way that will piss off his knee, okay fine.

And okay, sure, he did drop his glass. Smashed it into a thousand sharp little pieces, all around his bare feet.

Amazing.

"Ed!" And that's Stede. Of course, he's still in the room, isn't he? Ed should say something, make a joke, shrug it off, but his heart is in his fucking throat, and he can’t breathe, he can’t think.

“Ed, are you hurt? Oh shit”, Stede says, as he hurries over. “Don’t move, the glass is everywhere.”

Ed doesn’t move. He’s standing stock still, feet glued to the floor, eyes closed.

“What’s wrong?” Now there’s real concern in Stede’s voice, shit. “Talk to me, Edward. What happened?”

Yeah, use your words, you fucking imbecile. Ed blinks. Swallows. Tries, with moderate success, to breathe.

“I, um”, his voice comes out cracked. Fuck, fuck, fuck. “On the table. There’s um –”

A fucking spider. Fucking big one, too, that for some inexplicable reason had decided to climb up the brandy decanter at the exact moment Ed reached for it to fill his glass. And it moved, with its too many legs and horrible little body.

Ed had almost touched it.

“What’s on the table, love?” Stede asks, but he’s already stepping closer, carefully tiptoing around the glass. “Is there – oh, hello, Miss!”

Ah, great. He has spotted it, then.

“She startled you, didn’t she? You’re scared of spiders.” Stede says it as a statement, not a question. Ed wonders, briefly, if he could make himself say No, could make it sound like he means it. What fucking pirate is scared of spiders? But then he thinks Talk it through, thinks You don’t want to lie to him.

Thinks You can tell him anything. He wants to know.

“Maybe.” He still has to grit it out but fuck yeah. Look at you opening up that’s so fucking healthy. “A bit.” Then, because he can’t help himself, “I know ‘s stupid.”

“Hm? Oh, not at all”, Stede mumbles. “Creepy little beasts, aren’t they? Will you come here!” That last one wasn’t meant for him, Ed knows, because Stede has an empty glass in his hand and he’s – no, he actually already has caught the fucking thing. Trapped under the glass, securely put in spider jail. Hah. Serves it right.

“There!” Stede turns around to beam at Ed. “Let’s clean that up first, and then I’ll find a better place for her.”

Ed feels a smile tugging at his mouth, because that’s just what happens when Stede grins at him with his face that could light up a whole fucking room. Just like that – it’s fine.

Stede fetches a dustpan, carefully sweeps up the mess around Ed’s feet. Then takes his fucking hand, helps him to the sofa like he’s an invalid, but it’s nice, it’s really nice, actually, because Ed might still feel a tiny bit shaky on his legs.

Stede wipes down the decanter with his handkerchief and pours Ed a new glass of brandy. Then tucks a blanket over his lap (the new one, silk and something called Alpaca, soft as all fuck and a brilliant green), and yeah. Really nice.

“Be right back”, Stede promises, and then says much louder, “Excuse me, Miss, but we will have to relocate you – now, if you please –“

And out the door he goes, hands cupped around that little fucker. He doesn’t even use the glass. Not scared of anything, is he, Stede Bonnet? Becoming a pirate for fun, catching spiders with his bare hands. Fucking lunatic.

Ed leans back against the pillow. There’s still a lingering thread of something bright and sharp in his lungs, behind his eyes, but it’s almost gone now. Replaced by warmth and Stede's voice, still chattering to the spider, just so audible through the ship walls.

“Thank you”, is the first thing he says when Stede comes back to the cabin. “For the rescue.” Stede grins even wider than before.

“Anytime.”

canonically Ed is the one who shrieks and flees the room when he sees a spider

while Stede is the one who catches it and lets it crawl all over his hands before gently putting it outside

why are we not talking about this

[smuggsy]

it was physically painful to watch stede be bullied all over again after decades, by the same person, in the same way. he should've just smashed that whale over his head intent on killing! you know, like they made us believe he was gonna do, when they close-up on his face, typical misdirect

[lesbiantaikawaititi]

okay I wanna talk about the significance of the name of the last episode of ofmd: Wherever You Go, There You Are.

It’s an old adage which basically means that you can’t out run yourself. You can go anywhere to try to escape from your problems but at the end of the day, you might be the one you’re trying to escape from, which is impossible.

This applies to both Stede and Ed. Stede’s solution to his problems of being “uncomfortable in a married state” was to leave his family and become a pirate, which worked well for him, but in the end, the guilt of causing the deaths of Nigel and Chauncey and the guilt of “changing” Ed into something that he “wasn’t” was too much for Stede, and so he abandoned Ed in order to escape the “monster” he was as a pirate. But of course, things at home are even worse than before. He’s different after all of his experiences. Going home didn’t fix him like he thought it would. Because he’s still himself at home. Wherever he goes, there he is.

Then there’s Ed. Ed was finally being himself thanks to Stede. Even after Stede left him he was vulnerable and open with people about his feelings. But when Izzy says that Ed isn’t Blackbeard anymore and mocks him, Ed puts on his Blackbeard persona again. While Stede actually goes to a different place, Ed changes his appearance and actions. But the last shot we see of him is his crying and looking at the lighthouse painting. Because he can’t escape from himself, no matter how much he wants to. He can’t go be Blackbeard because that’s not who he really is. Wherever he goes, there he is.

But I think this adage has a second meaning, which is about Ed and Stede’s love for each other. Stede left Ed, not because he didn’t love him, but because he thought he had ruined him. So he left thinking Ed would be better off. But at home, he thinks of Ed. He even has a conversation with an orange pretending he’s talking to Ed. And he realizes that he’s in love with Ed, and he wants to be with him. He could go anywhere, but that won’t change. For Stede, wherever he goes, there Ed is, in his heart.

And oh boy, we get to see Ed’s full rollercoaster of emotions after Stede leaves him. First he tries to hold on, then he wants to let go, then he makes it seem like he’s actually let go by being Blackbeard again. But the things he does to let go of Stede really just shows how much he is still thinking about him. He gets rid of all of Stede’s stuff, and most of his crew. He has Frenchie sew a heart on his flag to show how “over” Stede he is. But he still sleeps in Stede’s bed and still keeps the lighthouse painting. He tells himself he’s better off without Stede, when it’s the lack of Stede that he’s focusing on. Stede was his first love, and it takes a long time to get over that. And again, the last shot we see of him is his crying over Stede. Because wherever he goes, there Stede is, in his heart.

[nadjaandlaszlo]

bear with me while I have some thoughts about two scenes/lines that they were absolutely INSANE to include in the same episode

I am, of course, talking about “his name is Blackbeard or Captain” VS “his name is Ed”

I’m sure tons of people have already talked about these two moments from episode 10 but I’m new to the fandom and having thoughts and am physically incapable of NOT writing this entire post <3

So firstly, Izzy’s aggressive tone VS Stede’s gentle one. This one tiny detail is literally making me insane. Because there’s Izzy, thinking he’s doing the right thing, building Ed up, keeping him in his position as a commander as always. He’s being harsh and aggressive because that’s what he’s like, that’s what the Ed he knows is like, that’s what he’s used to and he can’t accept that there has been a pretty dramatic change. I believe Izzy truly does care about Ed, but his way of showing that is through putting him on a pedestal, making him untouchable, putting down everyone else around him. He tries to show his care through his actions and his determination. He does not see Ed as his equal, only ever as his superior.

Then there’s Stede’s softness. Soft voice, soft expression, soft everything. He never once tries to put Ed in some godlike position of worship - sure, like the rest of the crew there’s admiration for the world’s greatest pirate, but he always treats Ed like an equal. He shows his love for Ed in this one sentence, through these few little words in a way that Izzy never could. It’s the equality Stede shows Ed that is the biggest sign of their love, and it’s this understanding of him that makes Stede’s “his name is…” so much more meaningful than Izzy’s. Izzy has respect for Ed, sure, and he loves him in one way or another - but he will never, could never, love and understand him the soft, subtle, equal way that Stede does.

It’s also about Stede knowing Ed better than Izzy does too, I suppose. It’s Stede’s understanding of Ed, even after such a short time of knowing him, that leads him to be so much softer, so much more personal, so much more human.

Then there’s what happens directly after each of these lines, and oh boy, this is where I lose my mind.

Directly after Izzy’s line, Ed says that he actually does want to be called Ed. Directly after Stede’s line, Ed pushes Lucius off the boat. Both of these are direct contradictions of what both of them think about Ed and they throw EVERYTHING into question.

Izzy’s line and Ed’s response are a clear indication of the change Stede’s departure has had on Ed. It shows this emotional side of him, out in full force unlike we’ve ever seen it before. It shows how willing and ready Ed was to move on, how much he wants to leave Blackbeard behind, how much was really resting on his relationship with Stede. It shows how vulnerable he’s become, dropping every act and pretence, being the Ed that only Stede knew in front of everyone. It’s this that gives Stede’s “his name is…” so much weight, because up until then we think the same - his name is Ed, that’s what he wants, that’s who he’s discovered himself as.

But then Stede says his line and the next shot is Ed pushing Lucius off the boat. A total u-turn. Because Stede’s recognition of what love is, his acceptance and readiness to be with Ed forever - it’s all come too late. Suddenly we have to question whether this understanding Stede has means anything at all, whether Izzy’s “his name is…” is actually more accurate, whether Edward Teach is really Stede’s version or Izzy’s version or someone neither of them truly know. So sure, “his name is Ed” means everything to Stede, but everything it meant to Ed is erased the very next moment.

Which is why they were absolutely insane to include these two lines so close because it’s so much to unpack and such a testament to Izzy, Stede, and even Ed himself. It showcases the most fundamental differences between Stede and Izzy, then Ed comes along and throws everything up in the air again. It writes and rewrites so much about what we already know about these characters and their stories in just a few moments and I am very much not okay (in the best way possible).

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

SO funny to me that one of the first flashbacks we get of the life stede ran away from is him sitting at the end of the table unable to connect with his wife and kids bc it makes it look like stede is trying to reach out but his wife hates him for whatever reason and he has no respect in his home life so no wonder he ran away!

but then the more we see of stede and mary's marriage the more obvious it becomes that mary was the one trying to actually make their relationship work (painting him an anniversary gift that referenced their wedding, asking stede to play with their children, asking him to talk to her before bed abt how unhappy he is) and stede just. either doesn't get it (accidentally insults mary's painting, plays pirates with his kids when she specifically asked him not to) or just shuts down (pretends to be asleep instead of talking abt his feelings)

and any time stede "reached out" in their relationship it wasn't by actually paying attention mary's interests or doing things as a family it was just him trying to get her to like the things he was into (trying to get his whole family to live on a boat when she'd very recently told him she hated the ocean, ignoring what mary said abt the kids getting nightmares and playing pirates with them). and sharing your interests is one thing in a healthy relationship where you both communicate openly but stede very obviously did not pay attention to the things mary liked or did, so by only opening up about what he liked it just always came off as rude and self-absorbed.

honestly this makes that first scene make so much more sense, too! mary's sitting for dinner and and she asks her daughter about her favorite horse and her husband (who never asks mary about her life, interests, feelings, friends, anything) butts in to say "oh well my favorite horse–" like stede she wasn't talking to you! she was talking to her kids! and of course he butts in to talk about his opinions and his favorite horse instead of engaging in the actual conversation going on (he could've told alma "oh, good choice!" or he could've asked about their favorite pig or he could've asked mary what her favorite horse was or anything else but he just butt in to talk about himself, again)*. and this is such a minor moment so of course for stede it feels like an unnecessarily rude rejection but for mary this is her entire life since the day they got married. maybe early in the marriage she would've smiled politely at him before moving on but at this point she's so tired (and rightfully so!) that like. yeah she just stares at him and then ignores him.

and then a few episodes later, after she's built a new life for herself without him, he comes back in and NOW is trying to ask her about her painting and stuff, after all the years she's spent trying to reach out to him. and then he crashes her fucking show!! calls her modestly into question in front of the whole town and ruins what's supposed to be HER night!!!! honest to god i love stede but if i was mary i ALSO would've tried to kill him!!!!!!!!!!

*(and for the record i'm writing abt this from mary's perspective, from stede's perspective as a probably-neurodiverse man of course he doesn't mean to be a dick, he's just making conversation, but this moment is just one of literal Years worth of him not putting effort into their marriage, so even if mary is misinterpreting this moment, at this point she kind of has the right to do so)

[itsclydebitches]

Oh goodie, I get to write more Izzy fic! :D

Izzy had been cleaning Edward’s boots since he was seventeen years old. Or thereabouts. He’d never paid much attention to his age—never had any reason to—but he’d been young enough to still have a crack in his voice and the hope that he’d grow another two inches.

Funny, that it hadn’t meant anything at the time. Izzy had survived Hornigold’s ship (and often his own mouth) by not just being a hard worker, but a fucking maniac about anything and everything they threw his way. The ropes, the ledgers, their weapons, supplies, cleanliness, training, scouting every island... give him half an inch and Izzy would snatch a mile, unwilling—unable—to let anyone else do a half-assed job. Even the most chaotic ships had their lulls though and inevitably that itch would return, Izzy looking around for something to do other than sit with his own fucking thoughts.

Edward’s boots had been there, muddy from their last trip ashore, and when Izzy had returned them with a fine polish and a blush on his then bare cheeks—

Edward had smiled. Soft, surprised, even a little proud. He started leaving his boots by Izzy’s hammock at night and every few days, like clockwork, they’d reappear in his own space come morning, cleaner than any other pirate could claim—even the captain. They never talked about it and so Izzy didn’t mention the coin he spent on supplies, the sleep lost to this additional, self-imposed chore...

The doubt that crept in decades later when Edward wasn’t even doning his boots anymore. There was no point when he never left his cabin.

Izzy shook his head. Those days were long past now and the sight of muddy, scraped up leather had become a reassurance, proof that things were once again back to normal.

Well... a new normal. One where a second pair of shoes were always placed beside the first, varying in style, color, material, and fucking embellishments.

Izzy muttered an unsavory string of words as he tried to get the grime out from around a needlessly detailed buckle.

If you’d approached him even a year ago and said that one day he’d be cleaning Stede’s shoes with the same dedication he showed Edward’s, Izzy would have laughed himself hoarse, then slit open your gut for the insult. He couldn’t blame this on some fated curse though, or hide behind his captains’ orders. Izzy had done this to himself the day a trade-off had gone sideways on one of the smaller islands, night descending with a hostile crew at their back and The Revenge still miles out. Crossing through the shallows had been their only option and when Stede had bitched that the shells and sharp rocks were shredding his shoes, Izzy had hissed something about finery having no place in a pirate’s life.

Of course, the ponce just had to mean it literally. When the first shell cut into Stede’s foot Izzy had stripped his own boots off and thrown them at this head, thinking at the time that going barefoot was better than hearing the twat whine about his injuries. Besides, Izzy had the callouses for it.

He’d heard something once about ‘slippery slopes,’ but if that had been temptation than Izzy happily embraced it now. He was damned anyway and if hell lay in researching how to properly clean silk and suede, then the devil deserved a compliment for getting creative.

“Iz? You coming to bed?”

Edward leaned heavy against the doorjamb, scratching at his new beard growth and yawning wide enough to show off every white, natural tooth. Izzy had been reminding the idiot to brush his teeth since he was seventeen too. Might have done it with a bit more enthusiasm if he’d known he’d be kissing that mouth someday.

Then again, probably not. He’d never done any of it for rewards.

“Stede asleep already?” he asked.

“Mm. Like the dead. Or a baby. Or... I don’t know, but he’s out and I’m about to be too, so would you just—” Edward tugged peevishly at Izzy’s sleeve. A chuckle escaped at his clumsy gesture.

“In a minute. I’m almost done.”

“No you’re not. C’mon, Iz.”

Izzy flipped him off and enjoyed the grumbling as Edward stumbled his way back to bed, most of which had something to do with obsessively meticulous first mates. There wasn’t much Izzy would say ‘no’ to when it came to his captains, but their own well-being was always the exception. A good pair of shoes was a luxury out at sea and a clean pair spoke of power that had helped build a reputation. Izzy was working for two now and like fuck would he start slacking as a result.

It took another hour until he was satisfied, but when he’d have gladly eaten off of any sole, Izzy set both pairs outside their cabin door, ready for the morning. His own boots were kicked into a corner, still trailing bits of sand. No one cared what his clothing looked like, least of all him.

“Happy now?” Edward muttered, as Izzy finally slipped into bed. He didn’t answer, just elbowed his handsy captain until there was enough space for him, tugging a corner of the blankets out of Stede’s vice-like grip.

Or maybe that was his answer. With a huff, Izzy got comfortable and looked forward to doing it all again tomorrow.

[littleoddwriter]

i cant not take advantage of your open requests + ofmd brain rot sorry <3 i love your works and i cant wait to read more, especially about these characters!! might i request stede x male (trans, if you want to!) reader in a soft cutesy relationship, maybe stede comforting the reader about their anxiety? thank you in any way, you're doing gods work, love you and youre work <3

With You | Stede Bonnet x Male!Reader

Hello there!!! No apology necessary, I appreciate it! Thank you SO much, gosh, that really means a lot to me, I'm--- <3 <3 <3 Ok, sooo, due to the anxiety portion, this may not be super cute or whatever after all, but I tried, sorry! Hope you like it anyway, thanks for the request and everything else, thank you so much!!! Love you, too! <3 :D <3 Take care! :')

summary; You're having a panic attack and Stede helps you out.

notes; Male!Reader; Anxiety; Panic Attack; Comfort; Fluff.

When Stede had left to become a pirate, you had gone with him, no questions asked, no second thoughts attached. You had always loved him and could never live without him, and so when he had asked if you wanted to come with him, you couldn’t have agreed any faster. 

Since he had finally been free in the sense that his family life wasn’t looming over him anymore, it had just barely taken any time for you two to get together. Your first kiss had been magical to say the least. Nothing had ever felt so right in your life.

Your relationship wasn’t a secret among the crew, nor was it a problem. Neither of you ever wanted to return back to Bridgetown. 

Now, the only issue you had was that being on a ship on the open sea in potentially life-threatening situations every single day only made things worse for you, in terms of this anxiety you’ve been feeling for virtually no reason since forever. You had hoped that maybe it was the confines of life at home and the expectations you couldn’t meet that caused it; but now that you were on sea and free of those, you guessed that the underlying issue was a different one. 

You weren’t always sure what triggered it, either.

One moment everything was fine and the next you were cowering on the bed in your room that you shared with Stede, like you were right now. You were breathing quickly and shallowly, while your heart was about to beat out of your chest and your vision was blurry and spotty. Your body felt hot and cold at the same time. Your palms were sweaty. It was a living nightmare.

“Y/N? I was just talking to myself on deck, thinking you were next to me. Turns out, you were h- Hey. What’s wrong?” Stede’s voice cut through this fog your anxiety had created. 

Shaking your head, you looked up at him. You couldn’t say anything. Your throat was closed tight. You felt like you couldn’t breathe. Oh, God, you couldn’t breathe!

Stede sat down on the edge of the bed, putting his hands on your shoulders, as he made eye contact with you. His gaze was kind, understanding and so gentle. Always so gentle. He was right to call himself the Gentleman Pirate. He truly was a gentleman, after all.

“You have to breathe. I know you can do it,” he said softly and inhaled deeply before exhaling slowly, “See? Like this.” He repeated the deep breathing for you. 

After a few moments that you panicked some more because the air you took in wouldn’t go past your throat, it seemed, you were finally able to take a deep breath. You exhaled shakily and did it again. A tear slipped out when you closed your eyes in relief and continued breathing in time with Stede.

His hands were stroking your upper arms and shoulders soothingly, massaging them lightly. “Y/N, What happened?” he asked worriedly, and when you opened your eyes again his expression certainly matched his tone of voice.

You felt stupid for worrying him. You had no idea what happened. Everything was fine. Until-

“A big wave shook the boat and caught me off guard. And then I just- I must’ve started panicking, I suppose. It’s stupid,” you explained what most likely caused it. 

“No, no, no, that’s not stupid,” Stede said, looking offended on your behalf, which put a small, short-lived smile on your lips. He was so cute.

“Stede, we’re on a ship on the open sea. It is stupid that a simple wave made me panic like this,” you told him flatly, shaking your head at yourself with a scoff, “I shouldn’t be here and you know it.”

“You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be,” he responded firmly, almost instantly, “With me. On our ship. With our crew. I know that you’ve always had this problem with anxiety and panicking, but I’ll keep you safe. I promised, remember?”

For a moment you just looked at Stede in wonder. He did promise you that when you first boarded the Revenge. And you never doubted that he would keep it. 

“Thank you,” you whispered, “I love you, Stede.”

You could hear his breath stutter, as his eyes widened. He still wasn’t used to hearing you say that, you knew. And every time you revelled in his reaction. It had taken him quite a while to actually realise what his feelings for you were. But once he did, it all became a lot easier for you both. Stede was happier and it seemed like a weight was lifted off his shoulders. It certainly was the same for you. Even if he had never loved you back, you were always at your happiest with him and that would have never changed; but the uncertainty had put a considerable weight on you at first.

“And I love you,” he said ever so softly before he leaned in to press a short, chaste kiss to your lips. Your heart skipped a beat, swelling with your love for him inside your chest, filling you with warmth.

A genuine smile finally spread across your face when you parted and Stede mirrored you. Both of you let out a soft chuckle at seeing each other grin like that, all teeth and happiness.

It was almost unbelievable to you that you’d felt short of dying only minutes ago; but that was the magic of Stede, you thought. No matter what, he always made you feel better. He made you smile when you thought you couldn’t. He made you feel all these wonderful things that you had never expected to. He made it seem like time stopped when you were with him, never wanting it to continue. It was such a gift that you sometimes wished people would see that he had, but it was only for you to know it.

Never once did you have to question whether or not coming aboard the Revenge was the right decision; even when, in your moments of weakness, you were convinced that you were not supposed to be there, you didn’t actually regret a thing. Stede was right, after all, he kept you safe and you belonged with him on the ship. With him. Always with him, no matter where or what.