#oh my adhd is gonna be UNBEARABLE about this

[poughkeepsies]

???????????I GOT A 100 ON MY PHARMACO EXAM????

[jasontoddsmommyissues]

Unsmooth Operator

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Femme!Reader

Summary: It’s summer in Hawkins and Eddie finds himself caught up on the cute girl working at the record store in the mall

Warnings: Reader uses she/her pronouns, brief mentions of sexual content (nothing sexual actually happens), swearing, potentially lethal levels of adorableness 

A/N: First of all, sorry it’s been so long since I posted my last fic. My poor little ADHD self is a slow writer, I’m afraid. But anyway, I kind of wrote this as a sort of prequel to my Henderson!Reader fic, but there’s no direct mention of Reader being related to anyone, so you can either read it as that or not. Also, special thanks to Mr. Joseph Quinn for confirming that Eddie Munson has no game. 

My Master List | Ao3

-

It’s June in Hawkins and the summer heat has already grown practically unbearable. The shitty window A/C unit Eddie’s been using has finally crapped out, and in the heat of the day the trailer is approximately the temperature of the sun. Mercifully, he’s found a sweet, air conditioned refuge in the newly built Starcourt mall, a temple to 20th century decadence and consumerism that also happens to be a very pleasant temperature inside. 

Jeff and Gareth are tagging along today, which is fun except for the quick pit stop they had to make at the homegoods store so Gareth could pick up some new linens for his mom. They’ve finished that now, though, and Eddie’s already got their next destination in mind. 

“I’m gonna do it”, Gareth insists as they go, “I’m gonna get a tattoo.”

“Your mom would kill you”, Jeff replies.”remember when she caught you smoking? I thought she wasn’t going to let us see you ever again after that.”

“It’s different now”, Gareth tells him, “I’m 16. I’m gonna be a junior. It’s time I make my own choices, you know?”

“Good luck with that”, Jeff laughs. 

“Let’s hit the record store next”, Eddie cuts in, “I want to pick up the new Bob Dylan album for Wayne.”

“More like you wanna see the cute girl working the register”, Jeff teases.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”, Eddie retorts, desperately hoping his cheeks aren’t actually turning as red as he thinks they are.

In truth, he does have an ulterior motive for wanting to go to the record store, and it is you. You’ve been going to Hawkins High for the past three years, but admittedly Eddie had never really been more than vaguely aware of your existence until this past semester, when you two had PE together. He had this routine he’d do where he would imitate the gym teacher when the man wasn’t looking, and it never failed to elicit a giggle from you. One day Eddie noticed how cute you looked when you laughed and well, he’s been a little bit stuck on you ever since. 

“Why don’t you just ask her out?” Gareth comments, as if it’s just that easy.

Sweet, naive Gareth. Maybe for guys like Steve Harrington it’s that easy, but Eddie isn’t Steve Harrington. Gareth wasn’t there for Eddie’s early high school days. He wasn’t there during Eddie’s sophomore year when two hot juniors decided to prank him by convincing him their cheerleader friend was “super into him” or his junior year when he invited that girl from drama club to join Hellfire and she laughed out loud at him. Most girls don’t even want to be seen with Eddie “the Freak” Munson, let alone date him. 

“Jeff’s talking out of his ass”, Eddie lies, “come on, let’s go.”

You are, of course, there at the counter when they walk in, and oh God, is that an Iron Maiden shirt you’re wearing? Fuck, as if he couldn’t be more into you. 

“Um, Eddie, you good dude?” Gareth asks him and he realizes he’s stopped right there in the entrance of the store, just staring at you. He quickly turns away and walks the rest of the way into the store, thankful that you’re currently checking out a customer and probably didn’t notice him ogling you like a total weirdo. 

Admittedly, this may not have been a good idea, at least if he wants to convince Jeff and Gareth he’s not into you. He quickly grabs a Bob Dylan tape and starts making for the door, desperate to just get out of there and spare himself anymore humiliation.

“Um, you gonna pay for that?” Jeff asks and fuck. He’s shoplifted before but he’s not interested in getting barred from the record store, so he’s not gonna risk it today. 

“Right”, he mutters and then he forces himself to go up to the counter. 

He feels like his heart is going to explode in his chest when he walks up and you flash him that brilliant smile of yours.

“Hi, Eddie”, you greet and his eyes grow wide because you know his name. Well, obviously you did, you had a class together, but it just sounds so good coming from your mouth that he momentarily ceases to function. 

“Did you need help with something?” you ask after a moment.

“What?” Eddie asks, “oh no. Just um, just this.”

He sets the tape on the counter and you grab it to ring it up.

“Dylan”, you comment as you do, “not your usual fare.”

“It’s for my uncle”, Eddie explains, “he’s a big fan.”

“Cool”, you say, “I like your vest by the way. Dio. Nice.”

Well, that’s it. It’s over. Eddie’s done for. 

“That’ll be $6.30”, you say.

“Oh, right money”, Eddie sputters and fishes a ten out of his pocket. He knows Jeff and Gareth are standing nearby, watching this all play out and probably laughing with each other about it. He’s definitely never living this down.

“You want a bag”, you ask as you finish gathering his change. 

“Oh, I um, I guess”, he replies, not actually processing the question. You hand him his change, then place the tape in a bag and slide it over to him. He goes to grab it, and because he’s not at all paying attention to anything but you, inadvertently sends the display of Beach Boy tapes sitting on the counter tumbling to the floor.

“Oh shit”, he hisses, “oh fuck, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay”, you reply, coming around the counter, “I keep telling Doug he shouldn’t put that stuff so close to the register.”

You bend down to start picking up the tapes and years worth of Wayne’s lectures on behaving like a gentleman come flooding back to Eddie, so he quickly follows suit.

“Let me help you”, he says.

“Thanks”, you say and you’re smiling again and Eddie kind of wants to die. 

With the two of you, it doesn’t take long to get everything cleaned up and back in order. 

“I’m really sorry”, Eddie says again as you make your way back behind the counter, and then before he can stop himself, he blurts, “maybe I could make it up to you somehow?”

“What?” you ask, clearly unsure of what he means.

“I mean like, maybe I could buy you a-a coffee or something sometime”, he stammers.

You peer at him for a moment, and he braces for the inevitable rejection he’s about to endure.

“I like ice cream”, you say, “if you meet me here at 3 tomorrow, you can buy me some ice cream and we’ll call it even.”

Maybe Eddie’s already dead and this is heaven. That or he’s being punked somehow. Either way, he stands there like an idiot for a second, trying to process that you just suggested the two of you meet for ice cream. 

“Um okay”, he says.

“Cool”, you grin, “see you then.”

“Right”, he says, “see you then.”

And then he’s swiping his bag from the counter and stiffly making his way back to Jeff and Gareth, his body still trapped in a state of shock.

“So”, Jeff prompts, “what was all that?”

“I um, I think I’m meeting her for ice cream tomorrow”, Eddie informs them. 

The two younger boys exchange glances, mouths stretching into a matching pair of shit eating grins. 

“Talking out of my ass, huh?” Jeff teases.

“Shut up”, Eddie snaps, “I’m just being polite okay? It’s not like a date or anything.”

“Sure it isn’t”, Gareth replies smugly. 

“Whatever”, Eddie huffs and the others know not to continue the conversation, even if they spend the rest of the afternoon exchanging amused glances at each other.

-

Eddie waits until he’s back at the trailer to let everything sink in. When it does, he feels a vague sense of panic washing over him. 

Embarrassing as it is, Eddie’s never had a real, serious girlfriend before. Hell, aside from a brief flirtation with Tammy Thompson that ended in a very awkward hand job in the school parking lot, he’s never really had any experience with girls (or boys for that matter) at all. And Tammy was the one that initiated that. He wasn’t even really into her, he was just desperate for some sort of female attention. 

You, though, he is into you. Very, very much into you. And he has no idea what the hell he’s supposed to do or say. He finally, finally has a chance to go out with his dream girl, and he’s almost certainly going to say something wrong and scare you off like pretty much everyone he’s ever been into. 

He wonders what the weather in Wisconsin is like this time of year, because he’s halfway to hopping in his van and heading there now, never to be seen or heard from in Hawkins, Indiana again.

Then again, maybe he’s over thinking it. It’s not like the word “date” ever came up in your conversation. Maybe this really is just him paying you back for his clumsiness, and afterwards you won’t even spare him a second thought. In the end, he figures that whatever the case, he’s not just going to leave you high and dry, so he has no choice but to go. 

-

Eddie shows up outside the record store at 2:45 the next day. He stands there awkwardly, fiddling with his rings and secretly hoping that you don’t show up and he doesn’t have to deal with all of this.

No such luck though, you appear exactly at 3, looking as cute as ever in your jean skirt. 

“Hey”, you greet and Eddie momentarily forgets how to speak.

“Hey”, he repeats, unable to formulate a coherent enough thought to do anything but copy your greeting.

“You ready to go?” you ask and he nods. 

The record store is a fair bit away from Scoops Ahoy, and for probably the first time in his life, Eddie finds himself unsure of what exactly to say. Thankfully, you take the lead.

“So, have you heard Megadeth’s album?” you ask, “I got it the first day it came out and I love it.”

“Me too”, Eddie says, and he can feel himself being knocked out of his stupor then, “you know, my friends and I have a metal band.”

“Really?” you ask.

“Yeah”, he tells you, “we perform Wednesdays at the Hideout, if you ever want to come see us.”

“I’ll keep that in mind”, you smile and Eddie thinks his heart momentarily stops. 

Walking into Scoops Ahoy with you by his side is an almost unreal experience. You and him go up to the counter and Steve Harrington is there in his little sailor suit that Eddie almost feels sorry that he’s forced to wear. 

“Hey Steve”, you greet.

“Hey Y/N”, Steve replies, and then he notices that Eddie’s with you and he gets this super confused look on his face. 

“So, uh, get whatever you want I guess”, Eddie says.

Once you two have ordered and gotten your ice cream, you eat it while idly wandering around the mall, just chatting about anything and everything. Eddie, as always, is frequently cracking jokes, and God is it mesmerizing to see the way you laugh in response. 

It’s quite the disappointment when you’re finishing your ice cream and you’re bidding him farewell. 

He knows he has to at least try to see you again so he tests the waters with a quick “that was fun, we should do it again sometime.”

“I’d like that”, you smile.

“Awesome”, he replies.

“Here”, you say, rooting around in your purse, “give me your hand.”

He obliges, and you produce a pen, which you use to scribble something onto his outstretched hand.

“What’s this?” he asks.

“My number”, you reply, “call me tonight or tomorrow?”

“Sure”, he tells you. 

“Great”, you say, “I’ll see you, Eddie.”

“See you”, he says, hoping he doesn’t sound as absolutely lovesick to you as he does to himself. 

You flash him one final smile before departing, and he just stands there awkwardly for a second, watching as you go. Once you’ve disappeared from sight and he’s snapped out of his trance, he peers down at the numbers you’d scrawled onto his hand. He has to remind himself that it’d be weird to get them tattooed onto himself permanently. He can’t believe that it worked. You went on a date with him, in public, and didn’t care if you were seen together. You laughed at his jokes. You gave him his number and asked to see him again. You liked him. 

The trailer is as unbearably hot as ever when he returns, but for once, he doesn’t care. He’s too excited to call you later and hopefully set up another date. 

[whcwashe]

OKAY SO -- here's a fun (not actually fun) piece of information --

I'm gonna preface this by saying I'm all good, not in danger in any capacity whatsoever, there is no need to worry about me at all. And also that this is far too much information, and if you feel weird about period talk, then please look away now --

ANYWAY.

So, a few years ago, I noticed that prior to my period my mood gets ........ real, real bad. I mean -- REAL BAD, y'all. And at the time, I started looking into it, and I match the symptoms for PMDD like ... exactly. Not only do I match them exactly, but there's a large amount of people w/ ADHD who have PMDD as a comorbidity.

So, knowing this, I went to my doctor and was like "is there a chance I have PMDD? The week-two weeks before my period are like ... unbearably rough."

and she was immediately like "No, everyone's period is like that."

And I was like "..... ok, no, it's not like a mood swing, it's like .... I sit awake at night for two weeks thinking about killing myself until I finally manage to cry myself to sleep."

and she was like "No, everyone's period is like that, we all have those thoughts, you're fine."

and at the time I was like "Oh, ok."

So, you know ... I kind of just let it go for years. Except, like -- at this point, I don't think that's normal at all. And I've just been telling myself I'm dramatic for years.

My point here is -- I'm like sincerely on the struggle bus this week, and I've just kind of been white knuckling my way through the mood pits by trying to consciously remind myself that my mood is not indicative of reality. And I try not to let it all spill out onto the dash, but sometimes I can't quite stop it. So if you're like 'wow, emily's been really dramatic this week' that's .... that's probably why....

thank you for putting up with it, honestly, I really appreciate it. And maybe some day I'll get over the voice in my head that's telling me I'm being dramatic, and like .... ask a New doctor if maybe it's possible that I have PMDD.

We'll see.

Ok that's all, love you guys byeeeeeeee

[ojamayellow]

Really upset because I have been diagnosed with ASD when I was very young, but since I'm on unemployment welfare (I've been on this jobseeker welfare almost since I graduated high school and I'm 26 now LOL), to even TRY and get me on disability, I have to get re-assessed.

Which is, absolutely pointless to me because I KNOW I AM AUTISTIC. Even if I didn't have all these ancient papers saying so, I would have figured it out!! And the doctors bulk-bill here but NOT full, so I HAVE TO PAY MONEY FOR JUST CHECK-UPS NOW??? (Moved away from the capital city last year blah blah rental crisis blah blah) SO basically the jobseeker system are demanding I get re-assessed, so I have to see a doctor, to get a referral, to see a psychiatrist (?). Jobseeker: Costs me money to travel. Doctor: Like $70 but half off rebate. I think. IDK if they let me do it again. (Last doctor was utterly useless and he still charged me.) Psychiatrist/Specialist: WHO KNOWS WHEN I'D GET IN BUT THAT'S GONNA COST SO MUCH.

If I don't get proof of my disability, which greatly affects my ability to work, they'll force me to apply to full-time work, which I cannot do whatsoever. (I also have horrid anxiety, depression, paranoia, I break down easily if overstimulated, kids staring at me freaks me out, I dissociate...) Jobseeker are very picky and WILL check if I've ACTUALLY applied to jobs I've sent proof of, and WILL question if you refuse full-time work opportunities.

But again, the proof will only give me a TRYING CHANCE to get on disability support, it doesn't mean it'll work. SO if I spend all this money for nothing I'm literally going to snap and I have already harmed myself enough in the last few months.

I've done casual jobs overtime but even if I'm a part-time or casual worker I'm still gonna be stuck on jobseeker forever because I can't afford to own a house or some shit. I was/going to be again (I deferred my course) a student constantly unit-hopping due to quality of life issues and rent raising but as far as I know? I'll be stuck with living with my parents (closeted, btw) as long as I live. Because it's the only place I can afford.

(Only benefit from this is I can ask the doctor about my injured hand because it's been over a month and it's still in unbearable pain at times. Oh, and I can ask psychiatrist about ADHD assessment so I can get meds. I KNOW the meds would help my everyday life.)

Don't you love it when the government tries to make it harder for you to have some sort of income if you're not already rich. I have been on this evil jobseeker system for at least 7 years :)))))))))

[voidingintotheshout]

Oh. This is another one of those posts that’s gonna make me feel seen and also unhappy. I’ll feel seen because now I know some thing I’ve been dealing with my entire life was because of autism. It’ll also make me feel unhappy because it makes it clear for someone who as a kid was in spaces for my ADHD with people who are trained to diagnose, it’s really frustrating that no one told me I was autistic until I was 40.

For me, it’s if someone is watching the TV in another room and I’m trying to read. Throughout my childhood, I would need to tell my mom, who listens to the TV really loud, that I needed her to turn it down, because I couldn’t do anything, because I couldn’t focus enough to tune out whatever she was watching enough to pay attention thoroughly to what I was reading. 

In fact, I have dozens of CDs or albums from three different artists that I only listen to as a noise canceling effort. They are all on Bandcamp.

Quiet noise-canceling: music for sleep. All of their stuff is very quiet and gentle, and great to put on repeat, if you just need a little bit of guidance away from the noise. 

Intermediate noise-canceling: Daniel Menche. Preferred album: leprous drones. This is an artist that you can listen to quietly, and it will function similarly to the artist above, but you can also play it really loud if you’re in a situation where you’re trying to read and you have to be in a waiting room with a TV set. It’s five dollars for like four or five hours of wordless noise stuff. Plus if you buy it and have the bandcamp app, you can stream it, wherever you are, even if you didn’t make sure to keep it on your phone in case of emergencies.

Loud noise-canceling: Merzbow. Preferred album: Tauromachine. I’ve loved him since high school. It sounds like 1000 jet engines at once. Unbearably loud. Like you listen to it at just below what would be painful but it’s the only thing that can get me through a situation where there is so much noise going around that I would be in a state of overwhelm and freak out or need to leave because it’s just too much to handle. It puts you in an extremely loud, harsh sonic cocoon, that you kind of forget the rest of the world exists because it’s just too loud to focus on whatever isn’t right in front of you. It’s also a nice thing to put on with the windows down on a summer day if you’re in a really good mood because it sounds like your car is about to explode. 

I do want to warn you though, that this set of recommendations reflects who I am: someone who has been dealing with the symptoms of autism for 40 years, but not knowing that that’s why my brain was like that. Like now I know it was because I was autistic but all my life I just thought I was a freak, so maybe Merzbow is something that is just me being a freak but it’s definitely helped get me through some situations where I might’ve had a little bit of a meltdown because I knew that while it was loud and harsh, it was some thing that was familiar.

Life in an Autism World

[lostacelonnie]

The dreaded time returns once again. I hope your first day back wasnt bad. Oh hell yeah peak fuck it we ball right there. & its always nice to have the support system. Oh yeah mt fuji is on my list too i wanna see it. Also id love to see the native birds. Love seein different types of birds. Oh okay words not commonly used bein dropped got it. Occasionally annoying is like the catchphrase of the english language. Oh yeah big same 80 is like my max comfort level for heat before it becomes unbearable. So 42c was like death it sucked so bad. Thanks! I also finally got through jarilo-vi story & playstation beta version opened to test so hopefully soon ill be able to play there. Mobile is hard to play on. Very nice i should check out rain world see what its like. I need to set aside time to draw its a relaxing hobby. I feel that i keep dropping games for a bit. Now that im all caught up on genshin again im trying to play more dredge & river city girls. Maybe even beat them. I wish you luck in your minecraft quest. Fair enough. I get along okay with my half sister but not enough to like. Tell her things. Oh hell yeah congrats on the dye job done. Always feels good. Yeehaw new game mode. Star rail is doin good at havin fun & interesting side stuff to do really. I got so many facts about fish & birds & such in my head at all times but can i remember all of them all the time? No. Such is life with adhd

it really does. but hey i survived the first week AND made friends with the cool alt girls from my class so its not ryover 👍and yeah i was. actually quite surprised how chill my mom is with me being queer but im not complaining. and yeah definitely!!! i dont rlly know a lot about birds but i agree its always nice to see them. and yeah isnt it!!!! tho Being Polish kinda desensitized me to languages being annoying since it is like that as well. while i do operate my mother language quite well, i cannot remember a Single grammar rule ive ever learned. just freestyle it and hope for the best. what the fuck is a przydawka. and ough congrats on surviving that then. im going to alicante with my school pretty soon [mightve mentioned this but i dont remember?] and from what we know its going to be like 25c there and like. damn. here i was getting happy about not having to deal with the heat until the next vacation. but Whatever. AND AHH THATS NICE!! id love to hear ur thoughts on the story i honestly Really like the jarilo vi arc. mobile IS hard to play on. survive out there. RAIN WORLD IS SO GOOD OMG THE GRAPHICS AND STORY ARE AMAZING AND ALL THE DIFFERENT SLUGCATS ARE SO FUN TO PLAY AS...... and ah good luck with that!! i have a little less time now that school is back but ive been trying to at least doodle every day. and ooh i dont recognize either of those, tell me ab them!! i did the genshin archon quest and havent logged in since but it was very fun. excited for the next part. and thank you o7 ill keep you updated on that. and yeah i feel you on that i have a pretty similar relationship with mine, its just that we rarely ever talk. AND THANK YOU!! im probably gonna repeat it soon since, as i said, dye doesnt really like to cooperate with me so its basically gone by now but at least i know this dye stays for at least a bit. i havent played star rail recently aside from the main quest tbh, didnt really have the motivation to do it i guess. BUT i heard the new simulated universe is fun so ill probs check it out Eventually. and yeah it really IS like that

[copperbadge]

Today I’ve been replying to private asks offering advice and thoughts on my recent ADHD With Anxiety diagnosis, so I thought I’d bring some levity into it and present to you “Side effects of being tested for grooviness” after I shared my initial diagnosis post. 

Nobody join my cult, it seems cool and there’s lots of pizza but I absolutely do not know what I’m doing and clearly should not be given power over others. (ID under the cut because Long.)

[ID: Three images. The first image, quoted from a Tumblr post: “I genuinely thought they were just gonna tell me I was an average human being imagining things because I’m Extremely Online. Instead they basically said You have ADHD and are otherwise an off-the-charts intelligent person that probably people like very much and you are never going to believe that about yourself which, mood. Trope, even. And the stress of managing this contradiction between very intelligent and reasonably charismatic and Does not believe he is either is really, apparently, fucking me up.”  

The second image is a text from @scifigrl47 which reads “Hmmmm this diagnosis is flawed, I’d consider you extremely charismatic rather than moderately charismatic” to which I reply “LOL oh my god the original actually says extremely. I downplayed it for the post because it was unbearably pretentious to say.” 

The third image is a text exchange with “C” where they say “Oh my god Sam seriously, how do I get that diagnosis”. I reply “Considering changing my Tumblr name to clinically diagnosed as a real cool dude”. C replies “I mean that would be legit” to which I reply “I didn’t even ask to be evaluated for my potential as a cult leader but here we are.”]

[abyssalzones]

tell me your calamity trio headcanons... please im begging 💜

Oh you are enabling me in TERRIBLE ways right now thank you so much. I'll try to keep this from getting long winded.

I'll start with the basics-- I've actually changed my mind a bit since I posted my other hc art about the characters and their personal styles, I was gonna draw something more up to date with what I meant but chronic fatigue is kicking my ass right now so I’ll make something... later. For now you get words, enclosed under the cut for everyone else’s sake.

Just to get this out of the way, Anne is a trans girl lesbian who uses she/her, Sasha is a transmasc-leaning lesbian who uses she/he, and Marcy is a transmasc lesbian who uses he/they. Whoops all lesbians y’know how it is. If I wanted to get specific I think Anne started transitioning in early middle school and her parents got her puberty blockers, while Marcy realized they were Genderweird in like 6th or 7th grade (so, semi-recently) but stayed closeted from everyone until amphibia. Sasha, meanwhile, was firmly under the impression she was cis until being in amphibia gave her more opportunities to think about how she Wants to present. He still likes "girly" clothes though I don't think that personal style would entirely go away.

ANYWAY UHHH let me just get through the other stuff quickly to avoid this getting too clogged:

ANNE

-She has ADHD for sure. Mixture of inattentive and hyperactive but mostly inattentive. This is related to how in canon she seems like the kind of B-student who fails on purpose a lot-- she just doesn't bother to try because she's already used to struggling in school and doesn't think reaching out will help.

-c-PTSD also. This one is obvious I just feel like it should be said. I think she'd ignore it or try her hardest to just will it to go away once she's back home-- I think especially right now she's in a lot of denial about her experiences in amphibia.

-At some point Anne talks about just pushing herself to just play harder when she's losing in tennis and I think that kind of says a lot about how scarily determined and competitive she can get. Sasha's the only person who can really keep up with her for this reason-- they both drive themselves into the ground when they have something to prove.

-On that note, I think she's gotten carpal tunnel at least once. Might turn into a reoccurring thing if she isn't careful.

-Clearly pretty athletic, as well as fairly lanky, but still a little shorter than Sasha and probably will continue to be a little shorter than Sasha for the rest of her life. 

-Anne is the only member of the group who is good at self care. Sasha varies wildly between periods of treating herself and ignoring base needs like, eating real food. Marcy is horrible at anything more than remembering to shower once or twice a week.

-...So even if pre-amphibia Anne couldn't be called responsible, she looked out for them a bit. Sasha probably resented her attempts at making sure she was eating well-- just because Anne has parents who actually cook, who have an entire restaurant and would go out of their way to set aside leftovers for her (and Marcy.)

-Very warm-natured, having spent her entire life in Los Angeles. Even if Amphibia can get unbearably muggy and humid at times, it’s been mostly comfortable for her. Most air conditioning probably feels pretty weird for the first few weeks she’s back on Earth.

-The only way I can figure she hasn’t gotten like, horribly sick from hanging out with human-sized frogs for so long is that she has a godly immune system or something. Viral diseases fear her.

-Anne is kind of scarily prepared for each situation, mostly due to her parents' and her friends' influence. This is based on her backpack when she came over to amphibia-- I know it was her birthday, but jesus christ that's a lot of seemingly arbitrary stuff to fit in your school backpack. A bath bomb, a swimming outfit with sandals, toothbrush and toothpaste, several magazines ?? I think it's likely that after a while she just started keeping extra supplies in her backpack for whenever she'd be going over to Marcy's or Sasha's place after school. Maybe one of them has a pool at their house?

-Similarly she has, like, at least 10 chap-sticks on hand at all times. Marcy keeps asking to use hers anyway.

-I can't decide if I think she'd lose a hand/arm because of the events of Amphibia in some way, but I do like the idea of her having burn scars. Not minor ones, either.

SASHA

-This 13 year old can fit so many problems in his brain it's unreal. In my mind he has BPD but I don't think this necessarily has to do with all of his behavior-- it's just another thing that might explain Why he acts like that. (Also worth noting that I have BPD, so this is... partially based on experience.) In general I just want to see him learn to cope with it better not only for his sake but for others'.

-I don't know if she would pretend to like guys for the Social Points or not but I think she just wouldn't... care? Maybe Marcy or Anne have claimed to have crushes of the week but I just can't see her bothering. She could look at a guy and point out all the reasons why he might or might not be attractive but otherwise she wouldn't bother. Sasha might have a wide circle of friends and influence, but Anne and Marcy encompass what Matters to her, in her world.

-In the same vein she has had horrible jealousy problems and this is just canon. Goes about it in her own petty little teenager way, like prioritizing Anne or Marcy's input above whoever else they've invited along.

-Hair isn’t naturally blonde I’ll die on this hill. Was born with dark hair but her mother dyed it when she was young and she just kind of kept up the tradition ever since. I like to think she lets her roots grow back in over time and keeps it dark post-amphibia. She also has dark brown eyes :]

-Lives with his mom. His father is mostly responsible for paying his tuition. Not much else, though. I do not think he has a good relationship with his mom at all. Might be part of where his desire for control stems from-- witnessing an adult who can't put in the effort, can never control a situation, and deciding he had to be the strong one who would always step up, and do better. He always has something to prove.

-Has a bit more muscle tone than Anne, but could definitely afford to eat more, and more regularly. Very feast or famine.

-Sasha pushes himself in a lot of ways that aren't always seen. He can run on less sleep, go longer without breaks, lift more than his own weight, push through pain-- he takes pride in it, even when it's horrible for him. It proves in his mind that he's stronger than other people. He either doesn't understand that there are forms of self harm that are less "obvious," or doesn't want to. He'd hate the term anyway- just sounds like pity.

-I don't know if she'd actually want to go on T after amphibia or not, I think in a lot of ways she might be comfortable with a change of hair and pronouns and not care about much else. She likes "girly" stuff as well as a more masculine association, enjoys the personal freedom it gives her.

-I do think it'd be cool/interesting if her eye was injured during the events of amphibia, possibly during the fight with Core Marcy/Darcy? I like it better if she's actually half blinded though, so one eye is left completely non-functional. Wouldn't bother with an eyepatch.

-Matt already said she owns a PS vita but I'm expanding on that by saying she loves fighting games. There have been many intense nights of mortal kombat and street fighter v. tekken between the girls where Marcy almost certainly wins but Sasha and Anne vie tooth and nail to be second place.

-Sasha's Mongolian/Ukrainian on her mother's side and German/American on her father's. Her mom's side of the family have been in the U.S for a few generations, though. She has little to no connection to any of her cultural ancestry I just think it's neat. Also I used to hc her with Japanese/Filipino origins like her voice actress and I still kinda like that but Matt said she has germanic/slavic heritage so I felt like getting different with it. I like either though :] 

MARCY

-Just... a litany of mental health problems with very little done about it. Has had a general mixture of depression/anxiety for a long time but doesn't recognize it because it's not like he's apathetic. He feels very intensely about everything.

-Autistic for sure. Extremely passionate about all of their interests, but especially biological sciences (with their specialty being evolutionary science.) I also think they have dyspraxia, which would at least partially explain their history of accidental injuries and "clumsiness."

-I think before Amphibia it might’ve been too minor to have much of an affect on their life (beyond not bothering much with gym or other physical activities) but Marcy has some form of chronic fatigue syndrome. Gets sore/worn out/all shaky and exhausted Way way sooner than either of their friends, which is only made worse by the whole... self-neglect thing

-Speaking of which, he’s always really struggled with base needs like hygiene or eating. Anne and Sasha have a long history of trying to show Marcy how to wash his face ‘properly’ (or, y’know, at all) but it just never sticks/he doesn’t have the energy so it never gets done. Marcy combats acne by picking his skin and he doesn’t really care if he gets scars or not. 

-They’ve been shorter than both Anne and Sasha for their whole life and the gap is going to get even wider between 13 and young adulthood. Probably never going to get taller than 5′1. 

-Obviously I draw Marcy fat but I also think that while they’re possessed by the Core, their health is neglected even further and they eat far less. Becomes a little emaciated from what a comfortable weight is for them because the Core drives the body regardless of what physical state it’s in-- it just has to be alive. 

-VERY into speedruns. Loves collecting information about weird speedruns and attempts their own. Probably has a small youtube channel that’s a mixture of speedruns and critical media analysis over video game footage.

-I really like the idea of post-amphibia Marcy being disabled and using a wheelchair most of the time, I honestly wish it could be canon? I don’t know, I just think it’d be cool to have a disabled character be a member of the main cast. Specifically I think Andrias’ sword fucked up his spine real bad and the Core piloting his body meant they were pushing him beyond his physical limits. Might be able to walk with a cane sometimes but not for long. 

-I think it’s pretty obvious they’d suffer from some pretty severe PTSD after amphibia and might be mostly dependent on others for a little while. I think they’d still want to go to college eventually though... they’re a very determined scientist through and through :] 

-Favorite game is the original MGS. Big otasune fan. That one’s just for fun sorry.

Okay I lied that got really long-winded. In summary: I am autistic and I like amphibia. I think about these 3 a lot. 

As for closing thoughts I obviously like sashannarcy but I’ll be honest I’m happiest if it isn’t super simple. I think they’ll always be very important in each others’ lives and that’s what matters most, even if it’s going to be a very rocky road to regaining their close relationship. Endgame is they all share a shitty apartment together while Marcy gets through college though. 

[obsidiancreates]

Battle for New York Part 1 Liveblog

They're combined as one episode on this site so- wait forget it Mikey is messing with Donnie's lab stuff oh god and Ice Cream Kitty is part of it this will either be an incredible solution or make a big problem.

SLEEPY DONNIE- oh Angry Donnie

MIKEY WHAT HAVE YOU DONE THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T MESS WITH DONNIE'S SHIT oh my god Donnie's voice went SO HIGH

Ice Cream kitty was loving the chaos- OH DONNIE IS GONNA KILL HIM

Nevermind Splinter broke their nerve endings before he could. He's trapped Donnie in Permanent Blep Mode

Oh it's sparkly now! OH FUCK IT IMPROVED IT MIKEY YES HELL YEAH BABY BOY

Oh Donnie is losing his mind. He's- he's about to become unhinged. Donnie calm down, ADHD produces incredible yet hard to replicate results, give Mikey a good stim toy and have him try again later

Oh April is suddenly in an Angsty Corner Curl- oh she sees millions of mutated humans in Dimension X in her dreams. Well. Wish we could've seen those dreams at some point, writers.

Oh oh unhinged smile from Donnie, unhinged smile and closeup. Rise Donnie would be proud, I'm scared.

WATER TOWER!!!!!!!!!!! ROB PAULSEN HAS YET ANOTHER IMPORTANT WATER TOWER!!!!!!!!!!!! DONNIE'S GOT THE FUCKING WARNERS TRAPPED UP THERE

YES YES SHADOWS WITH WHITE EYES WHOO BADASS BEANS

Oh sheesh, I wanna know that couple's survival story- NOOOOOOO OH GOOD THEY SAVED THEM really with the fart sounds OH SHIT oh no okay Leo saved them WHY WOULD YOU RUN SCREAMING HE JSUT SAVED YOU

Sassy Leo has entered the building

YESSS DONNIE BADASS MOMENTS

We're 6 minutes in btw

BADASS MIKEYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Coward Raph though

Bread attack? PIGEON PETE- LEATHERHEADDDDDDDDDDDD YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS oh fuck it's that ape agai- MIND CONTROL??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? LAST TIME HE WAS JUST AN EMPATH

SLASHHHHHHHHHHHHH he still says Raph's name weird

LEATHERHEAD HUGS OH I WANT A HUG FROM HIM MIKEY IS SO HAPPY AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

I hate Rockwell now.

Useless? He just saved your ass, Raph.

LEO SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT SLASH HE JSUT SAVED YOU AND YOU USE PEOPLE AS BAIT ALL THE TIME god that coma and Seth Green casting turned Leo into an asshole, I think this must be why so many people hate him, he was not this unbearable in Seasons 1 and 2

YEAH HE HELPED YOU GET OUT OF SLASH'S FACE IF YOU CAN TRUST KARAI YOU CAN TRUST SLASH

Who's the benefactor who's the benefactor I'm scared I'm nervous- LEO SHUT THE FUCK UP

OH SHIT IT'S THE REPORTER GUY HE FUCKING LIVED THIS MAN IS UNKILLABLE WHY IS HE THE MOST POWERFUL PERSON IN THE ENTIRE SHOW= LEO STOP DIGGING AT SLASH

This man is. God. Like, he's like The Plumber from Ratchet & Clank. Knows All, Helps Heroes, Gives Sage Advice.

Oh damn Kurtzman is a Scaley.

Rockwell don't cut my boy off- I'll kill you Rockwell- DONNIE DID YOU JUST TELL HIM TO GO BACK TO HIS CAGE?!?!?!?!? NO HONEY THAT WAS OUT OF LINE

Leatherhead and Mikey being the peacemakers, my boyyyyyyyyyssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I LOVE LEATHERHEAD SO MUCH Fuck Rockwell though he's insulting Donnie and I won't stand for it also WHY IS THIS BITCH SO OP WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE

Aw Leo protected Pete, okay you get a point back for that Leo but I'm still mad at you.

Pffffft Darn Dirty Ape

NOT THE FUCKING BUTT CANONS- a-a hot one in the chamber? Raph... why...

KURTZMAN GOT FUCKING SHOT WHAT THE- IS HE DEAD?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

OH THEY DIDN'T LEAVE HIM THERE DID THEY?!?!?!?!?! THEY BETTER NOT HAVE

OH oh good, they didn't, he's recovering on the couch. Hey but he got shot in the back. Maybe don't lay him on his back.

"Fine" may be a stretch, Splinter. YES CASEY GO GET THAT MED SUPPLIES BABY I LOVE YOU

I SWEAR TO GOD I'm going to grab Rockwell's stupid eyes and RIP THEM OUT OF HIS SKULL but I still will scold Donnie for the cage comment. We just murder here sweetheart, we don't make nasty comments about people's traumas.

Hey guys. Fun fact. Two teams... means two things can be done. See, Raph knows what I mean- oh Slash you bitch-

Ohhhh Mikey is sad about Leatherhead

DONNIE WHEN DID YOU BUILD A FUCKING WAR BLIMP

God, so many butt canons, hate it- why is Iago Kraang still wearing the Irma suit.

That blimp is. The opposite of Stealthy. It sucks.

YEAH BITCHES TWO TEAMS THIS IS HOW WARS WORK

Hehehe the missile looks like a penis

Donnie is MVP, I'm sorry, he just is.

SLASHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOO okay he's fine

I HATE ROCKWELL WHY IS PIGEON PETE THE ONE THEY REPLACE AND NOT ROCKWELL

WAIT FUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK THEY'RE STILL ON THE ROCKET AND DONNIE IS INSIDE OF IT

WHERE'S THE RETROMUTAGEN FROM THE START OF THE EPISODE IT WOULD BE VERY USEFUL HERE

FUCKKKKKKKKK RAPHHHHHHHHHH OKAY HE'S OKAY BUT DONNIE GOT FUCKED UP

YEAH STOP PRESSURING DONNIE HE'S DOING HIS BE- sorry THE HEART OF THE FUCKING SUN?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

JUMPING WAS A BAD- THEY ARE ON FIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

THE TURTLE GLIDERS WOULD RIP THE FUCK UP

Awwww I like that Donnie asked what Mikey saw. Brotherness!

Shut up Rockwell

MIKEY AND LEATHERHEAD BROSSSSSSSS YESSSSSSSSSSSSS

Rockwell, Donnie was being nice and you decided "I will be specicesist to this teen who jsut almost died saving the world." I hate your guts.

YAY LEO SAID A NICE TO SLASH okay that's the Leo I know

[uswnt-keeper]

Focus Isn’t My Strong Suit

Prompt by @cpaeralricey: Can you do a Kelley x youngersister!reader quarantining together and the reader has to to do School online but struggles cause of their ADHD and just lots of fluff and Kelley helping the crazy kid out. Does that make any sense? If not don’t worry about it.

Note before we start. Sorry if this is terrible, I don’t have ADHD so I don’t really know what it’s like, I tried to make this is fun as possible. Also just for future reference I will no longer be writing Kelley, Alex, or JJ fics. (There will be my final Alex post today, but that’s it).

This royally sucked... like to a whole other level of sucking... does that sound weird? It sounds weird, oh well... whatever. That’s not the point, the point is, I’m stuck doing online school, which normally isn’t that bad, but it all kind of happened all at once.

You see, I’d been flown out to visit Kelley, my older sister, in my spring break which happened to be at the beginning of March. I hadn’t seen her in a long time between her traveling for different teams, and I missed her. I miss all of my siblings honestly. Jerry was off doing business man things, and Erin was off hanging with her besties on some beach somewhere. Kelley was the youngest of my older siblings, but shes 32, I’m 16, big age difference there. I’d been adopted by my family at a young age and so, of course there would be an age difference, but they were family and Kelley and I were close.

Anyway, back to my main point of how much this sucked. The nation went on lockdown literally a week into my stay, I couldn’t leave for the airport or anything and Kelley’s games and trainings were suspended after the SheBelieves cup, even the Olympics were cancelled. So I was stuck, but that wasn’t what sucked, I was with Kelley, that was great, but then came online school.

Online school, for someone like me, is the worst possible option. I struggled with ADHD and paying attention in a normal class, but sitting on my own in a room of distractions would be even worse, I mean... how was I NOT suppose to say dream or cheat on a test?!

Not only that, but I was awaiting my prescription, we had to start ordering it so it shipped to Kelley’s apartment in Utah. So with that going on, we were now in late March and we realized it would be another day before my pills arrives... and I was out.

“Kelley!�� I yelled from my bathroom, looking at the empty bottle.

Kelley came rushing in, “What, what is it?!”

“I’m out of meds,” I said hyper focused on the writing on the bottle.

“Oh.... OH WHAT?!” She grabbed the bottle out my hands, shaking the orange container around as if she was trying to summon more pills to her.

“It’s just a day, it won’t be that bad right?” I said and Kelley looked at me with a glare.

“When was the last time you weren’t on your meds?” She asked.

I thought about it for a moment, “Uhh, probably before I was diagnosed.”

“So when you were bouncing off the walls?” She asked and I shrugged, walking out the bathroom.

“Look, I have school in like... oh actually I’m late,” I said looking at my phone, it was only 8, but class started at 7:45.

Kelley groaned as I rushed to my laptop, she had moved to the dining table after finding me staring at my ceiling for an entire class, she was fun as a sister, but her feeling of responsibly over me was unbearable.

I logged into the class with my camera off, apologizing for being late and I made up some random excuse. I looked to Kelley who had just walked out of my room, and she rolled her eyes at me and tossed me t-shirt. I muted myself and looked at her confused.

“You forgot to put one on,” she said before I could ask and I looked down at myself realizing she was right, so I begrudgingly pulled in on with a huff.

After my first class, I had my second period, which was a study hall, and I hated it, all I ever did was stare at off into space, which ended up happening this time too. I went through the whole school day, completely unable to focus on anything as I felt my ADHD consume my movements and thoughts.

“Y/N!” Kelley snapped me out of my trance, I realized she sat in front of me, working on something of her own, “Your teacher asked you a question,” she said.

I unmuted myself to apologize before asking her to repeat the question. The one good thing about ADHD was that I often retained large chunks of info if it was interesting enough, so I had the knowledge to answer the question this time.

When I muted myself again I sighed, it was times liked these I hated my condition, it was unbearable and made me miss so much shit.

“You okay Speedster?” A nickname Kelley had gifted me at the age of 4 when I literally couldn’t stop running around, it’s fitting now as I’ve followed in her footsteps and started playing soccer.

“I hate not being able to focus,” I complained and finally, as I said that, the class was over.

“Well,” Kelley started, closing my laptop for me, “Maybe you should walk around or something, get some focus back?” She asked, I sighed again, it was the best idea so far, “I’ll be here if you if you need me.”

I stood up, taking my computer to my room and threw it on the bed. There was no way I could focus on doing yoga or lifting weights, not at all. All I wanted to do was run around, do anything but what I was doing. It was probably about 5 minutes in my room before I rushed out my room, heading to the kitchen to search Kelley’s cabinets.

“What are you doing in there?” Kelley turned after I rummaged for a few minutes.

“Food,” I replied.

“If your hungry I can make you sandwich or something,” she said, looking away from her computer.

“Ughhhhh,” I complained, “A sandwich sounds so boring,” I groaned and she rolled her eyes at me, going back to the meeting she was in.

I left the kitchen, heading back to my room, sitting on my bed feeling restless. I tried writing and reading, I even did some homework, but eventually I got bored again, and I felt antsy. That is, until I found something I could compare to gold.

“No way,” I whispered to myself, pulling two things out from under the guest bed, “This is gonna be so much fun.”

Kelley’s POV

I was worried about Y/N, I knew she would feel bad about her ADHD, usually I’d go distract her, but I was caught in this stupid meeting for another few minutes. I was listening to what my manager was saying amongst the other people there, until something stung me.

I flinched, looking at my arm, then around me and at the floor, finding a... nerf bullet?

There was a click and another one hit my temple this time.

“Ow,” I complained, looking to where I heard giggling.

It was Y/N of course, hiding behind a cardboard cut out of me with a nerf gun reaching around it.

“Y/N, don’t you—“ She shot me again, laughing hysterically, I turned to my computer, “Listen guys, I’m gonna have to go, got something to sort out,” I said and they nodded as I logged off.

Y/N looked at me with a challenge, if this is what she needed to calm down, then I guess a little match wouldn’t be bad.

“It is so on,” I said, reaching into one of the kitchen cabinets.

“WHAT?! You have a nerf gun just sitting in your kitchen?!”

“Never know when it might come in handy,” I shot at her, the bullet sticking itself right in her forehead and she huffed and smiled.

“I’m gonna kick your ass.”

“You wish,” I replied.

Turns out the one round turned into three hours of an intense and heated nerf battle, ending with Y/N surrendering to the couch where sweat fell from her head.

“Alright, alright, you win,” she said exhausted for once and I plopped down on the couch next to her.

“Told you I’d kick your butt,” I said.

“Surrendering doesn’t mean you kicked my butt,” she complained and I laughed.

“How you feeling?” I asked, looking to her now.

“Exhausted for the first time today,” she said with a smile, “Never thought I’d be happy to be tired.”

I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and pulled her in to a hug, “You know there’s nothing wrong with your ADHD right?” I asked and she shrugged, “If you ever feel bad about it, remember that you can totally start a nerf war and it’s completely justified,” I said and she laughed.

“Thanks Kell.”

“Anytime kiddo.”

There was a pause.

“Do you have food?”

“I knew you wanted something.”

She laughed again and we spent the rest of the night eating and watching movies until we fell into a deep sleep.

[toxicpineapple]

HI IM ANON THAT ASKED FOR HCS and i just wanted like hmm a general like hcs for the whole cast,, but i would gladly appreciate a ‘taro ramble too <33

okay, well, to begin with, i do have a post of drv3 character headcanons already, so you can go and check this post out for your outdated juice. i honestly made this post months ago though so a lot of the headcanons on there are. kind of wonky. i’m gonna go ahead and correct the ones that have changed real quick and then add on new ones.

- bi kaito and maki? LAME!!! kaito and maki are homoromantic asexuals and i don’t take constructive criticism. (bi kaito and maki headcanons are so valid i just prefer them as homosexual now LFKDSJFKJD anyway akamota rights)

- actually they’re all asexual? hehe. the love hotels aren’t real they can’t hurt me. i’m gonna list ace headcanons now

- shuichi: sex positive asexual

- kaede: sex indifferent asexual

- kaito: sex repulsed asexual

- maki: sex repulsed asexual

- miu: sex indifferent asexual (side note, if anyone comes at me for my ace miu headcanons i’m literally gonna commit a murder)

- kokichi: sex repulsed asexual (but good at repressing his sex repulsion)

- rantaro: sex repulsed asexual

- himiko: sex repulsed asexual

- tsumugi: sex repulsed asexual

- tenko: sex repulsed asexual

- angie: sex positive asexual

- kiyo: sex positive asexual (but experiences sex repulsion due to trauma)

- ryoma: sex repulsed asexual

- gonta: sex indifferent asexual

- kirumi: sex repulsed asexual

- kiibo: sex indifferent asexual

- um. i lost my train of thought. oh. okay. so i gave kokichi depression back when i made this post and i think that was a weird thing in particular to saddle him with. i don’t think kokichi is like, a-okay and all the time, but i think he tends more towards manic than depressive. which isn’t to say that he can’t be both, but there’s a vibe and kokichi doesn’t have it

- regardless i gave kaito depression. suffer bitchboy

- while we’re talking about kaito, HOO BOY, i am a kinnie. sorry about this, anon. kaito has asthma, which isn’t a kinnie thing, but he also plays the ukulele, which IS a kinnie thing. i mentioned that he can knit. that was true. he also bakes!!! and he has had a series of hyperfixations throughout his life in this order:

- disney movies (ongoing)

- pirates (elementary school)

- musical theatre (first year middle school)

- frogs (second year middle school)

- tennis (third year middle school)

- also kaito has a crush on ryoma! haha! did i mention i don’t take constructive criticism! anyway

- let’s talk about trans headcanons :)

- shuichi, kokichi, maki, kaede, himiko, and tenko are all binary trans no matter what work i’m writing them in. even if i don’t tag it and it doesn’t come up at all, assume they’re trans! because they are and i don’t take constructive criticism

- BIG fan of nb kiibo, rantaro, kiyo, angie, kirumi, and kaito. just, real big fan

- all trans headcanons are valid periodt!!! except transmasc tenko we don’t.... we don’t like that in this house. please take your transmasc tenko elsewhere

- while i do think that himiko’s master committing suicide was One Hell Of A Take on my part, i’m pretty sure he just left. he just ditched a child because she was better than him. that’s all. y’know that one oumeno fic where he dies and everything is nuanced? yeah. he was just, a shitty person, that’s all it was. i’m sorry himiko you deserved better

- ummmmmmm himiko autistic! himiko autistic. she cannot STAND the texture of denim or sweats, it is just. The Unhappy Texture

- delicately eyezooms. low empathy mugi? low empathy tsumugi? hewwo, low empa

- kokichii is very good with kids! just exceedingly good with children. it’s because he is one himself

- kaede has two dads :)

- himiko’s parents are divorced. she lives with a single mother. as one does from time to time

- rantaro, if he finds all his sisters, eventually settles down as either a teacher, a therapist, or a school counselor. so like the first two or a combination of them

- kaito knits under the bed. why does he do this? i don’t know. he doesn’t know. it’s a thing, just go with it.

- rantaro sees a lesbian and thinks, “hmmm. she could use an emotional support himbo” and then just does it. kaito does this too but he hyperfocuses on like. two or three lesbians at a time. rantaro spreads himself thin between the lesbians. amamota and lesbians guys get into it

- mwahahaha (pushes my amamota agenda onto you) they’re dating and in love!

- coffee headcanons :)

- shuichi: black. as black as his soul. which is to say very black. not because he’s emo he just likes the colour

- kaede: a bit of cream and sugar, nothing excessive. kaede stays up late on hyperfixation energy alone she doesn’t need no coffee

- kaito: a couple sugar cubes but no cream

- maki: ... a lot sweeter than she’ll admit

- rantaro: milk and sugar with a side of coffee

- gonta: gonta prefers tea! but he’ll take coffee when it’s offered, as gentlemen do. he likes it with a bit of cream, but no sugar

- kirumi: black.

- ryoma: black

- himiko: she prefers apple juice. himiko gets nauseous on coffee

- tenko: DOES NOT DRINK COFFEE!!! NO!!!! COFFEE IS AN ADDICTION IT’S BAD FOR YOU!!!!!!

- angie: angie doesn’t drink coffee either but when she does you have to fill the damn thing with mostly milk or she will be absolutely unbearable

- kokichi: you really wanna give this little adhd gremlin coffee? are you insane? (he’ll take it with an egregious amount of cream and sugar but he doesn’t mind it black)

- miu: black and like six or seven cups of it at a time

- tsumugi: a little bit of cream but no sugar!

- korekiyo: he really prefers tea but kiyo will take coffee either black or with a touch of cream

- kiibo: haha.... he’d like to know what coffee tastes like.......

- scent headcanons :))))

- shuichi: books, cinnamon, rose tea, coffee

- kaede: honeysuckle, morning dew

- kaito: axe body spray, banana bread, old spice

- maki: fresh snow, dry cleaners

- tsumugi: fabric stores, honey, lemons

- korekiyo: incense, perfume, old books

- kiibo: metal

- kokichi: linen, sugar

- rantaro: evergreen trees, fresh laundry, incense (finesses jim’s hcs)

- miu: coffee, machinery, rosemary shampoo

- kirumi: mild floral perfume, dark chocolate

- gonta: trees, camp fires, pine needles

- angie: paint, clay, daisies, salt water

- himiko: strawberries, clean laundry, hot chocolate

- tenko: cherry blossoms, tatami, maybe a little bit of sweat

- ryoma: mint, rubber

anon i probably have more but my spoon count just went down, i hope you appreciate this list, such as it is FLKSJDFKLSDJFj i’m!! really passionate about these guys. i’d also love to talk about rantaro’s specific relationship with each member of the v3 cast so like........ shoot me an ask if there’s interest i guess FLKDSJFLKDSJF

or if there’s interest in anything else!! i love answering these you guys are so sweet, tysm <3

[flockofdoves]

the way my classes are scheduled while going back to being a part time student this semester makes weeks go by like insanely quickly. like when i was working 5 days a week with just the weekend to look forward to that was awful on so many levels (weird to think it was only 4 months ago i quit in some ways and sooo distant in others bc i absolutely hate even thinking about it just one of the worst times in my life on a day to day level because of my supervisor not even bringing in disability stuff that made it unbearable too) and the week dragged on forever and the weekend too short bc i literally just slept trying to recuperate.

then having like nothing to do while i could relish the novelty for a bit i always lose all sense of time and its just another horrible (albeit less horrible than above) blur of understimulation and not knowing how to direct myself to do anything so times both slow and fast

but now its like?? i’m kinda back in school? but less workload than i’m used to? (even beyond just taking two 3 credit classes and one 1 credit class, i did so many extracurriculars all my life and then in college had a job and ran clubs and did volunteer work/organizing all throughout my time there) but like also i’m getting used to being that type of responsible again and since i only have classes monday wednesday friday its not like at work when i really did for a short time feel tired at like 10pm. now its like. every other day i’m like yay!!! no class tomorrow! and then just stay up the whole night and sleep the whole day then cant sleep enough for class lol. but its like. doable albeit not ideal. but just interesting how with this schedule its like oh my god.. weeks go by so quick. like not bad or good. enjoying myself but also stressing myself out. this isn’t an articulate post. but yeah honestly really kind of scared about how ingrained so many of my issues with time management and sleep and stuff are. like idk i guess maybe itll always be hard bc adhd/etc or w/e but i dont think that this is really the best i could be doing thatd just be really depressing. but also i worry with being 22 now that i’ve barely made any progress at all so whether thats just how it was always gonna be or is more bad habits that’ve become too ingrained like i dont want that to be an excuse i want to get better but its upsetting thinking i don’t really know how to realistically picture myself doing much more it just seems so daunting.

wasnt really intending this to be a negative post like the end here. just neutral. like whoa. huh. mfw part time class schedules are interesting lol

[lila-sarows]

tct ep8! (yes i’m still doing ep by ep we’ve got a system going)

I LOVE THIS EPISODE. Spooky academia vibes and dumb teenagers scooby-doo-ing and pining over each other is my EXACT story sweet spot. Lots of yelling and spoilers below:

Adhd caleb confirmed!

The delivery of “you tell me. You know what that looks like” is even better with context

Adam: yes mom yes Dr Bright we’ll be careful

Adam three hours later: hey let’s test out this time travel loop, here I go!!

I can’t believe they teased Sam i got so excited to hear my girl again

Adam is a NERD <3

Caleb: “I’m not in love with Adam. Hey Adam have I ever told you that I used to dream about holding your hand and think your watch is sexy”

“Try pulling!” “They’re push doors!” No brain cells. No brain cells whatsoever

I talk a lot about how cute these two are but I also love their arguments - they feel so real and the voice acting is fantastic. And they add so much depth to the characters!

It sounds like Adam was doubting whether he was enough for Caleb, and whether Caleb was happy, not doubting their relationship. 

Shoutout to the amazing sound design yet again. Can’t believe they did all this in quarantine!

(The background convo while Caleb was outside was hilarious)

Caleb’s voicemail... oh man. He’s worked so hard to be able to trust his own ability and to feel like it’s all been ripped away... that would be awful (also I’m wondering if Adam is ever gonna hear that??)

tct and penumbra both know my weakness and my weakness is emotional confessions through a door

“I needed you loving me to be your choice” 🥺🥺🥺 I hadn’t even thought about that aspect of Caleb’s new ability

Poor Adam. how long was he stuck there? I’m guessing several hours based on the fact that he wasn’t, like, passed out from dehydration. It’s extra painful considering how lonely he’s been

“You’re incredible” “you’re the smartest person I know” what is WRONG with you two this is unbearable

Why does Oliver have the MOST SUSPICIOUS VOICE EVER

that ending. I am CACKLING. "This is a school? We’re... students?”

(no recap this time bc I have like 5 more eps to get through and I’ll have more collected thoughts then)

[bastardguy]

(haha there's very icky thoughts in this so don't read if it triggers ye, if anyone's reading this lmao) boy! it's one of those nights ain't it haha. ultrasadness. i dont have people to talk to which, yknow i feel like a lot of people don't have others to talk to. but anyways! i am sad! f! the most annoying aspect of myself i dislike is how one moment im daydreaming because hehe escapism and dont wanna talking to people at all then the, next moment im unbearably sad and i wanna! have friends that aren't people from my imagination. it's my fault, yep, its allll my fault, im not even trying to be sarcastic here, i know i should actively seek out people to be friends with them but!! im in my element to run around pretending i made fucking animations for my friend group that also exists! totally! it makes me feel great and content until i realise its not real! god am i pathetic haha! how do i improve ? how? why am i like this? is it because my brain views my escapism as safer and more wondrous then reality? to the po in t talking to people just? bore me? it's weird as hell, im probably just a selfish git but i genuinely look at chats and either go "conversation going,, i no want join cause rude" or "there's no point they're all so boring. being alive is boring. your life, your personality, you as a person is boring. that's why he left. he left for someone else he already had plans with, someone who he can actually see regularly in person in the future, someone who makes him happy. you never made him happy. he was miserable being stuck with you, that's why he left, that's why he immediately got into another relationship with someone else. you're why he lied to you, you're the problem, he hates you, you were an abusive fuck who couldn't keep his mouth shut and never changed. he's going to spend years being happy with someone and he's glad he's left you. he hates you. he hates you. he hates you. he hates you. you're the problem. don't ever try again, you don't have thr privlage to die, not yet. wait until everyone's finally tired of your manuplitive, selfish shit then kill yourself. die. just fucking die. just die. no one will stay loving you, you'll be forgotten, why did you say so much? you're fucking obsessive and its all your fault. you existing in the first place was a mistake, when have you ever brought joy to people? when had anyone be glad that you're here? you're better off dead, you're better off dead. you know if she had the choice mother would pick a normal person as a child in a heartbeat. you know if she knew you were going to turn out this way she would have fucking killed you herself because you've been nothing a burden. she'll leave, just like he left and everyone else did. so what if you just followed along with everything they were saying? you should've been smart enough not to be a dick you asshole. anyone that comes into your life will leave, everyone will leave, everyone is going to leave. even thinking about this you're cementing it, it's going to happen because you're thinking so hard about it. all bad things happen to you because you think about them. it's your fault. every bad thing that happens is your fault, you deserve all the slander that will come to you, you will die alone. you will die alone. no one will miss you, you've had a sad pathetic lonely life being unwanted. and it's all your fault. suffer. suffer. suffer. suffer. suffer. suffer. you ungrateful, selfish bastard-" and its very unpog i dont like my brain.

i wish i could find life enjoyable again, i wish i liked talking to multiple people, i wish i had multiple people to talk to. i wish i, didn't have these fucking attachment and abandonment issues that just make me terrified of being close with someone again. i think i have rejection sensitive dysphoria and oh! boy! MM. an internal conflict of "do i have adhd or is it just my anxiety and life long loneliness" had been going on in my brain. because if i had adhd i think thatd explain, a lot actually uYubun, but also those symptoms could stem from uhh, childhood issues and stuff pfft. like id be socially withdrawn and daydream a lot, to the point where i avoided playing with other kids just so i could walk around the yard to think about stuff, which are symptoms of adhd but also it's because "brain got lowkey traumatised being neglected on a plane for so long as a baby without its mother then just got whipped around the country serveral times giving me 0 safe secure places." i, i don't know man. that's a lot i have to talk with my therapist in like half an hour haha.

wow i talk about my problems too much this is why he left me 😩

a ok uhm, uh, yea! im very lonely haha. there's like, a person who i could chat with but i dont want to bother them. they're a good friend but they've been busy and i feel like im highkey using them. which is not pog at all! im not fun to talk with and im very annoying hahaha!

why are people so untrustworthy. why am i sad? only god knows but im god, so god doesn't know.

i think me despretly trying to talk to someone while im sad is so, utterly selfish and pathetic. i mean come on man why only now? haha.

i mean i did start to emulate a lot of his bad behaviour but! it's ok i know what's bad to do know and ive learnt from this experience and am moving forward.

where does forward lead? i dont know! probably jobless and suicide but hahaha! im not gonna make it past 25 baby! im gonna fall in love with someone then they'll leave forever and ill die!! After my mum gets sick of me!! hahhaha!!!!! im not unstable right now, i don't even wanna die! that'd be so selfish id break my parents! haha! i want someone to love me as much as i love them and to hold them in my arms! i wanna be comfortable with someone! i wanna be held! i want someone who won't cheat on me!! i wanna be loved!! woohooo!!! that's all i want! yknow what else i want? a friend group thats genuinely happy to see me! people i can eat lunch with and laugh with! people that don't make me feel small and pathetic! and why can't i have that? because im a piece of filth that doenst deserve any of it because ive done nothing to earn it! how the fuck do i do stuff! to talk! how do i not feel hopeless and small all the time? no matter what i fucking say im going to be yelled at for not being positive! fuck! fuck. fuck you.

[dr-gloom]

I can’t remember the days before I was affected by mental illness. I don’t know if I just have a poor memory, or if the mental illnesses have chipped away at my brain’s physiology. I’ve had depression for half of my life, though since I can hardly remember my life before middle school, it feels like I’ve always had it. I’ve always had the sense of loss, knowing that who I was back then has been stolen and warped, and I can never have them back. Yet I don’t even know who they were, only the vague notion that they were happy. 

It seems as though from the moment puberty began I was being told I needed to watch my weight, make sure I didn’t get fat. I was underweight from the time I was six until high school, and yet as soon as I hit average weight everyone - my mother, doctors, myself, family friends you name it - was telling me to watch my weight, that I didn’t want to be fat, and oh I was looking a little round, I should cut back. It was no surprise to me that I ended up with an eating disorder, but I used to be surprised that no one saw it (not anymore, I’m aware they don’t care). I wasn’t starving myself, or binging an purging, or exercising excessively. I was refusing to take insulin, to the point it became unconscious and I never even thought about it. I was damaging my organs and turning my blood acidic, and all the while doctors would see me for an hour every three months and mutter “you need to do your insulin” before sending me home to repeat the process. No one thought this barely average-weight depressed teen could be trying desperately to not be fat. 

I don’t know how many times I’ve tried to kill myself. Too many, that’s all that really matters. I’ve heard it all. I’m selfish. People would miss me. I should look forward to the small things and the big things and the stupid and silly things. I’m expected to scrounge for any reason I can possibly think of to stick around for other people. I’ve always thought it was selfish of others to ask I continue to suffer because they would be sad if I was gone. What about me? I’m miserable in life; I laugh the loudest and smile the brightest and joke the most but every day I’m bleeding, and people would ask that I keep suffering unspeakable pain because it’s what’s best for them. I’ve heard all the excuses and all the reasonings and all the lies. I don’t need to scrounge for reasons to live. I have so many. So fucking many. I have light rain that quiets the mind. I have ridiculous chats with people online. I have music, I have drawing and writing and reading and Thomas Sanders and a million other things.

And yet, life is still unbearable. And no one seems to get that.

No matter what I have, I am miserable, and I have tried and tried but I just can’t seem to be happy, I can’t be normal. I am so grateful for the things and the people in my life, I really am, and it makes me feel like scum for still weeping for death when I can’t sleep at night. How could I possibly be hurting so badly when my life is so good? I have no right. So many people have it so much worse. 

I always feel alone, unless I’m constantly surrounded by people. But that’s so unrealistic. I have depression, anxiety, ADHD, BPD. I’m a mess. No one would ever want to be around me all the time, even if they could be. I ruin all my relationships because I push people away and then panic and beg when they want to leave. I make people feel unloved and unwanted while inside, in my head, I’m worshiping the ground they walk on. I know this, and yet I have no idea how. I don’t know what I’m dong wrong, and I don’t know how to fix it. And I keep trying, and trying, and trying, as if I expect someone to just come along and magically my BPD will be gone and I’ll be a healthy partner to them. 

I’ve been thinking a lot about Van Gogh’s last words. “La tristesse durera toujours”. The sadness will last forever. And I think about all the people who insist that life gets better, the cliches about rainbows and rain, about adversity making us strong. I think about how people kill themselves, and strangers will mourn for the person who “gave up too soon”. But what if that isn’t it? Some people can pull themselves out of depression, but some live with it their entire lives. When is enough enough? How long do you have to struggle to tread water, how many antidepressants do you have to try, how many therapists or therapy sessions do you have to go to before the world allows you to give up in peace? When does the world finally realize that sometimes suffering doesn’t go away? When do we stop insisting that it will, and guilting people when they know it won’t? 

If someone with cancer decides to throw in the towel and refuse treatment to die in peace, they’re respected. Sure, people get sad they’re gonna die, and maybe they try to talk the person out of it, but ultimately “it’s their decision”. So why is mental illness any different? Because it’s in the mind? I am incredibly smart, and I think things through a little too thoroughly sometimes. I have all of my mental faculties in check. So why is my decision to end my life less valid than theirs? Because their pain is physical?

I have lived my entire life as a second-class citizen. I have no control over the food I eat, I’m expected to disclose everything and I get punished and yelled at when I don’t, I have no say in things that directly affect me, and I’m treated like a child. I can’t live on my own because “something might happen”. I can’t get a job because “I should focus on school”. I can’t even drive to San Francisco by myself because they’re all convinced I’d have an anxiety attack and total my car. I’m treated like a toddler, or a disabled person. I’m constantly being stepped on and yelled at and ridiculed and abused by the one person who is supposed to love and protect me no matter what. 

I’m tired.