#oh i did not consider the anime so you can add from there!!

[kiloude-city]

I made a joke about AZ being the Kalos cryptid and my brain made the joke spiral.

Regional Cryptids (Not counting ghost girls/people):

Kanto: Yellow. Fae vibes

Johto: Morty. Need I say more?

Hoenn: Part of me wants to say Zinnia but another says Aster? Like what if she's alive? what if she IS the pokemon??? Oh also Courtney.

Sinnoh: Volo duh

Unova: Shadow Triad. N. Clyde. they got a few.

Kalos: AZ

Alola: THE DITTO FIVE POLICE OFFICER DITTO

Galar: Bäll Guy

Paldea: Arven's parental issues

Feel free to add more lol.

[skyedancer-system]

Going into Poppy Playtime Chap. 4 I was not expecting to get halfway decent plural rep but here we are????

Spoilers for the new chapter under the cut, and also cw for all the general Poppy Playtime stuff (child death + experimentation, body horror, if you know the game you get the gist)

SO THIS GUY HUH

Doey the Doughman, the surprise character revealed just days before the chapter dropped and who finally answered the question of the red/orange/yellow hand imagery we’ve been getting teased with for so long

In the chapter himself he’s pretty important to the plot and is an ally to the player, Poppy, and Kissy for (most of) the chapter, and he’s a pretty nice guy just with a bit of a temper, and very overwhelmed by having to keep the Safe Haven together and protected in Poppy’s absence.

But his personal story? How he was created via Playtime Co.’s Bigger Bodies Initiative? Oh god it’s honestly one of the most messed up ones yet other than Yarnaby (and that’s saying something considering this is child experimentation we’re talking about, and Yarnaby lost his entire self and was treated like a straight up animal, isolated so he would love and obey Harley and only Harley)

Where most of the living toys were made from one child, Doey was made from three. Jack, a visitor to the factory that got caught in a freak accident and was taken into Playtime’s care for his medical recovery. Kevin, a problem child in the Playcare known for his anger issues. And Matthew, an extremely kind boy who tried to keep hopes up among all the orphans in the Playcare, and was a sort of leader to them.

And all three of them are still present in some form; at various points in the game you see them switch, speaking and thinking differently, with varying opinions on everything happening. And from the tape of the Jack’s parents seeing what Playtime did to their son, we see that the three have separate memories as well, at least they did when they were first put together.

And this plurality that was forced onto them isn’t played for scary points like you’d expect from a mascot horror game. Yes it is part of Doey’s monstrous design once they get upset, but them being upset is because everything they had worked to protect was destroyed by the Prototype. All of the other kids turned toys that had kept their consciousness and relied on Doey for protection, mercilessly killed. Anybody would be horrifically upset in that situation. And one of the three boys - Kevin - lashes out at the player, the other two trying to calm him down only for all of them to fall into anger and emotion.

You can clearly see the three kids; one angry, two sad, all of their emotions coming together into a grief induced rage, with physical pain only compounding it. And when you eventually have to kill them and put them out of their misery, their last words?

“I’m sorry.”

They were just kids; three kids forced into a horrible situation and having to learn to live with it. And for a long time it seems that they did, working together rather peacefully until their lives were upheaved by the arrival of the player and Poppy’s reappearance.

Kevin’s anger at everyone and the world is completely justified; I mean he and the other two were experimented on and then kept caged like animals, being practically forced to kill! He wanted to protect them; to avenge the countless others that had been killed by the Playtime scientists and the Prototype! And considering things only went to shit after the player and Poppy showed up? Well it’s no wonder that anger got directed at them

It it a super good depiction of plurality? No, not by a long shot. But it’s definitely way better than I would expect from a game like Poppy Playtime.

I was not expecting this post to get this long whoops fbsnbdns; if anyone else has anything they want to add though we’d love to hear it!

[tackykachowch]

Hey guys remember that terrible letter in s2? Well, how about I tell you that it's actually worse than it seems?

Alright. For the purpose of my point being more clear I'll recite it here. *barely held in gag*

"Silco. I've looked everywhere, but it's clear that you don't want to be found. Oh, God, I'm shit at this (THEN WHY ARE YOU EVEN WRITING IT YOU STUPID IDIOT. Sorry). I'm sorry. When she died, I lost my head. I told myself that what I did to you was for the greater good, that you deserved it. But the dirt was on both our hands. Anyway, you know where to find me. Blisters and Bedrock"

So, it is obvious that Vander regrets what he did to Silco and that he doesn't view him as a "villian of the story" anymore, so to speak. His murder attempt was purely emotional rather than motivated by ideological opposition or something else. Great.

Buuuut let's rewind to the very start of the series. Right to episode one. There. Take a look at these screenshots.

So Vander says to Benzo that there's someone on their side (the Undercity) who is worse than enforcers. Not even someONE, but someTHING. This implies quite a big level of resentment if you ask me. While he's saying that, he looks at his right hand and touches his uhh...I don't. Know how this thing's called I'm sorry. Let's call it a leather cover. There's clearly a reason why he wears it now, and this seems to be connected to the "thing" they're talking about. Alright. I guess we'll find out more about this later.

Fast forward to episode three. Heeeeey, what is THAT??

So Silco cut his hand?? Well, that all makes sense now then. Something brought Silco and Vander to a conflict, which resulted in Vander trying to kill Silco, and Silco cutting Vander's hand when he was escaping from him. For now (💀) we don't know what exactly caused such a rift between them, but it apparently was something pretty serious considering that Vander even stopped referring to Silco as a person. While he does later says to Silco that what he did to him was wrong, but nothing indicates that Vander changed his opinion on WHY he did it.

Now, there could be an argument that Silco did something that made Vander hate Silco AFTER the river scene, and this is why Vander thinks so badly of him. But earlier in the same episode we see THIS reaction from Vander when Silco appears.

So here's the question: why would Vander react like that to seeing Silco if he knew of something horrible he did post their fallout? What's more likely, he hasn't heard anything about Silco AT ALL, whether he's dead or alive or what he does. So Vander's opinion of Silco ("something worse than enforcers") formed prior to their falling out and it didn't change over time.

Now that we have all that information let's go back to our dear, favorite letter.

Uhhhh so. Vander is an incredibly awful person???? Either that, or he has an extremely severe case of amnesia. Because why would he go from wanting to reconcile with Silco and not blaming him for what happened straight into thinking that he's worse than enforcers and not even a person?? Or in his mind these things can coexist somehow?? And to add to all of that, apparently he never told Benzo the truth about their falling out, and made him think that Silco is an "animal". What, was Vander so butthurt by Silco never contacting him that he went full 5-year-old-mode "Humph!! I hate you now!!" and proceeded to lie to everyone about Silco?? So much for a reasonable and peaceful leader of the Lanes, huh.

But we all know that's not the case at all. The case is, of course, that writers forgot to rewatch season 1 and made up a reason for Vander and Silco to fight which is not at all aligns with what we knew about them and their relationship before. This is, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, one of the biggest cases of negligence in storytelling that I've ever seen.

[jjkamochoso]

It's me again lol!! What about jjk men taking the reader on an aquarium date or like a museum date! ^_^

UR MIND >>>>>>> SO ADORABLE

Also I’m now including Ino because I can’t believe I’ve been forgetting to add my pookie in these

Enjoy and thanks for the request!!! <3

JJK Men Taking You on a Date to the Aquarium/Museum

Fluff

JJK men x gn!reader

Warnings: none

Yuji:

“That fish looks like you.”

Your eyes fell to where Yuji’s finger was pointing. There was a huge fish with big, bulging eyes swimming in circles in the aquarium exhibit in front of you.

“Oh, really, does it?” You were thoroughly amused at your boyfriend’s antics, his grin widening as you played along. “This one is a spitting image of you.”

Yuji caught a glimpse of the fish you were pointing at and turned away from you, making you frown. Did you inadvertently hurt his feelings? The fish wasn’t *that* ugly. Besides, you both were joking around, but you never meant to go too far and make him sad. You tentatively put a hand on his back to get his attention.

“Yuji, I didn’t—”

He faced you again, this time sporting a quintessential fish face with his cheeks sucked in and lips protruding in a pout. You immediately started cracking up, and since laughter is contagious, especially among you two, so did he.

“There’s lots of cute fish here, but you were the cutest,” you finally said, making him blush. He grasped your hand tightly and you set off for another exhibit.

Megumi:

When Megumi asked you on a date to an art museum, you were elated. A quiet, calm activity like this was perfect for the both of you so you could enjoy each other’s company without many other people observing you. You walked side by side with the boy as you meandered through the exhibit that was showcasing artwork of animals in ancient civilizations. You stopped in front of a particularly cute sculpture of a dog, cooing softly.

“Megumi, look how adorable,” you said, and he nodded in agreement.

“Reminds me of my own,” he mused, referring to his divine dogs (you thought it was precious how close he was to his shikigami).

“Maybe we can bribe the curator with Gojo’s money to take it home with us.”

Megumi shot you a look. “Are you serious? I don’t think you can just take art like that.”

A few seconds passed.

“Can you?”

“I don’t know,” you said, “I was joking.”

Megumi was quiet as usual but the air about him seemed almost contemplative. After a few more seconds, he shook his head and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Gojo would probably break it anyway.”

“Wait, were you actually considering trying to buy it?” you questioned.

“Maybe.” The black haired boy shrugged, moving on to the next sculpture.

“Fushiguro the art collector, huh? Who would’ve thought you were so extravagant. Gojo’s spending habits must have rubbed off on you,” you teased, making him huff.

“Shut up,” he said, no bite to his tone whatsoever as you just giggled, cuddling up to his side as you continued on with your date.

Yuta:

“It’s like getting a million little kisses. I’m so in love with this creature.”

"Am I… jealous of a starfish?”

You were currently holding a starfish in your hands, its suction cups sticking to your skin, leaving behind a tickling sensation that you couldn’t get enough of. Your boyfriend, on the other hand, wasn’t a fan of your kissing analogy and was doing his best not to pout over something so silly.

“Yuta, come closer! It’s too cute not to hold.”

He couldn’t deny he was curious to see what the hype was about. People had flocked over to this exhibit in droves and you guys had waited in line to hold a sea star for an ungodly amount of time—he wasn’t going to miss out now. The handler put one in his hands too and he immediately understood what you meant earlier.

“They are really cute. I see what you meant by the whole kissing thing, that’s amazing,” he said, his voice laced with wonder and amusement as he watched the sea creature grip onto his skin. He then looked up and locked eyes with you, both of your irises alight with love.

“But I still prefer yours.”

Inumaki:

There’s plenty of fish in the sea but you’re the only one for me.

You raised an eyebrow at the words on the phone screen shoved in front of your face while you were watching some fish swim by in the aquarium tank. Toge, meanwhile, was dying laughing at his lame pick up line written in his notes app. Seeing his reaction made your lips quirk up into a mischievous grin as something came to mind. You pulled out your own phone and hurriedly began typing, thrusting it toward him when you were done.

I cod-nt imagine my life without you, Toge. You’re a reel catch.

You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped your throat when you saw the grimace he wore.

“Fish flakes,” he said, putting his head in his hands and stifling giggles.

“My line was that bad, huh?” you asked, nudging him softly.

“Salmon,” he agreed, but the loving look he held in his eyes when they met yours again showed he was anything but bothered.

“You’re of-fish-ally the cutest boy I’ve ever seen,” you told him while ruffling his hair playfully, earning a loud groan from the blonde. He quickly typed out another sentence.

I’m so glad we go to the same school.

Noritoshi:

You were pleasantly surprised when Noritoshi asked you on a date to the aquarium. You figured he would’ve deemed it too childish or an experience not scholarly enough but you were wrong, now feeling the pull of his hand as he excitedly walked you around, pointing things out and chatting about things he had just learned.

“…and I just read that most fish don’t have eyelashes. Did you see that too?”

“Except for sharks,” you replied, a gentle smiling resting on your face.

“Exactly.”

Noritoshi took a deep breath as you led him to a bench to sit down and watch the jellyfish float around.

“I’m sorry for getting too passionate. I just feel like I can be myself here. There’s less… pressure, if that makes sense. Like I can learn things just to know them, not to impress anyone or get a good grade on something. It’s… nice.”

“You don’t have to apologize, I know what you mean,” you said, laying a comforting hand on his leg. Noritoshi rested his hand on top of yours and gave it a light squeeze, observing the entrancing dance of the jellyfish.

“They look so free,” he muttered. “I wonder what that feels like.”

Your head was now lovingly balanced against his shoulder as you squeezed his hand back.

“I promise you that one day you’ll know.”

Todo:

“Y/n! You have to watch this!”

You were happy to accompany Aoi to the local science museum for a date. You two were having a fun time exploring and trying out all the different experiments the museum had to offer. You weren’t sure what to expect when Aoi called you over to the experiment he had just done since you were enthralled in a presentation about lightning. You were confused when Aoi put his hand on a big ball, but all of a sudden, the hair in his bun became even spikier than normal.

“Static electricity!” he exclaimed, sporting a huge grin. Seeing how happy all of this made your boyfriend had you smiling from ear to ear as well. When he eventually took his hand off the orb, his hair didn’t quite go back into place.

“C’mere,” you giggled, gesturing to his hair, “I’ll fix it for you.”

“Thank you, my love,” he said, leaning over to where you could reach him. You combed the strands back into place and gave him a kiss on the cheek when you were done.

“You’re having a fun time today, right?” Aoi asked you, a rare moment of vulnerability from the muscular man.

“Of course, Aoi. Thank you for inviting me here.”

“No problem,” he replied, his cocky demeanor back as he winked at you. “Now, if you’re interested, there’s a presentation on superconductors in a few minutes. Do you want to see it?”

It always surprised you when you remembered just how smart your sometimes air-headed boyfriend really was.

Gojo:

When you invited Satoru to the science museum, he was extremely excited. Not because of the science aspect, no, but because he loved to eat the packs of freeze dried ice cream you can buy from the gift shop. You were busy reading a giant wall panel about physics when you felt the thunk of a head resting on your back and heard a sigh of exasperation.

“Are you finished yet? This is boring,” Satoru said, mumbling into your shirt.

“I’m trying to learn, Satoru. It wouldn’t kill you to learn something either. You’re a teacher, aren’t you supposed to have a thirst for knowledge?”

“I have a thirst for soda,” came a muffled reply from behind you. You rolled your eyes, going back to reading. Satoru kept fidgeting and you found yourself getting frustrated at his lack of focus.

“Since you know so much, why don’t you tell me about relativity and quantum mechanics?”

“Quantum mechanics studies the world by looking at just a few small particles like photons and electrons. Relativity is the theory of gravitation that Einstein proposed around the same time as quantum mechanics. General relativity studies the construct of space-time and gravity, while special relativity studies special conditions and scenarios, such as length contraction, which is where an object is moving near the speed of light and its length actually shortens. See, I already know this stuff, so can we pleeeease go to the gift shop now?” Satoru whined, throwing his head back in an exaggerated display of boredom. Your mind was still reeling over the fact that your boyfriend was… ridiculously good at science and never bothered to tell you?!

“I… yeah,” you said, completely dumbfounded. Satoru ignored the confusion in your voice as he cheered, grabbing your hand and leading you to the gift shop.

Geto:

You and Suguru were taking your time walking through the museum he chose for your date. It was nice to walk with him, holding hands and enjoying deep conversations about the pieces that were showcased in each exhibit. You came up to a bench in front of a particularly large infographic and took a seat, your lover sitting next to you. After he knew you were finished reading, he asked you the few little words he assumed would set you off on a passionate tangent (he was right).

“So, y/n, what are your thoughts on this topic?”

As you began to analyze everything you just learned, Suguru watched you intently, but not in a negative manner; he was just so genuinely interested in what you had to say that it was like the whole world around him disappeared every time you opened your mouth. He nodded along, hearing you bring up things he hadn’t even considered yet.

“I’m lucky to have a partner who’s so intelligent,” Suguru cooed, his thumb ghosting over your jawline, initiating this romantic moment like you two were the only people in the building. To him, you were the only people that mattered anyway, so what was the point in hiding how he truly felt?

Nanami:

“C’mon Kento, it’s not as scary as you think it is. They’re completely harmless.”

You were currently trying to get your boyfriend to pet the stingrays but he was not having any part of it. The color had drained from Kento’s face when you submerged your hand in the clear water, feeling the smooth surface of the rays under your fingertips. The blonde man wasn’t afraid, per se, but he didn’t think it was the wisest decision to be touching such a dangerous animal.

“Y/n, I just don’t think it’s a good idea. What if you provoke them?”

You were about to laugh when you saw he was genuinely distressed. Frowning, you stood up and tried to dry your wet hand the best you could before reaching out to him.

“Kento, honey, it’s alright. They have to be really angry to sting people. I promise you’ll be alright if you try it.”

Kento relented and leaned over the touch tank, hesitantly placing his hand in the water next to yours. When a ray swam under him, the rubbery texture gracing his skin, he immediately tensed up. Your unoccupied hand landed on his arm as encouragement and it seemed to help him relax a bit. A few more stingrays came over to him and Kento finally calmed down, smiling as he greeted his new friends.

Ino:

“Babe, look, that’s literally us.”

Ino caught your attention away from a particularly interesting exhibit about seaweed as he pointed to a diagram that displayed two fish with their mouths on each other.

“Ino, that’s very sweet, but I think they’re fighting.”

Your boyfriend leaned closer to read the tiny print, his hands in his pockets in a display of nonchalance that you always found supremely attractive.

“Oh, you’re right! They try to flip each other over like that. It’s like the Spider-Man kiss but more badass.”

You shook your head, lightly chuckling as you linked your arm in his and continued walking through the aquarium. All of a sudden, you gasped and tapped Ino’s arm excitedly.

“Oh my god! This is literally us!”

Ino’s eyes went wide and his smile grew bigger. You were showing him to a video that displayed otters holding hands as they drifted in the water.

“Yeah,” he said dreamily, resting his chin on the top of your head as you watched the animals on the screen, “it is.”

Choso:

You were sitting in a dark room of the planetarium, looking up at a projected sky full of stars with your handsome boyfriend. Choso had his arm wrapped tightly around your body, hand resting on your waist as your head was nestled against his shoulder. You sat there quietly, enjoying the peacefulness of the exhibit. The sight of the stars above you changed into a slow spinning view of the earth and you gasped lightly.

“Woah, look at how beautiful our world is.” You didn’t hear him reply, which was unusual, so you lowered your eyes from the spectacular scene above to look at the man next to you.

“You’re my world,” he stated bluntly, unrelenting gaze boring into your own. “You’re the brightest star in the galaxy of my life.”

“You’re so cheesy,” you said, trying not to show how flustered you got over his beautiful words. He just drew you in closer, adamant to never let you go.

Toji:

“How does this piece make you feel?”

“Like I’ve been here for hours and I’m hungry.”

Toji wasn’t the biggest fan of the art museum you dragged him to but you were glad he allowed you to take him here in the first place. It meant a lot to you that he would willingly go somewhere like this that completely disinterested him, but he would go to the ends of the earth to please you.

“There’s a cafe around here if you wanna go eat,” you said, paying him no mind as you studied the painting that grabbed your attention.

Toji scoffed. “And leave you here by yourself? No way.”

Your focus was now broken, instead trying to stifle a laugh at his overprotective behavior. “The art isn’t going to kidnap me, you know.”

“I know,” he grumbled, folding his arms across his chest, “but some dude might see a smart, attractive person like you by yourself and think he has a chance.”

“And I need my big, hot, uninterested-in-art boyfriend to keep an eye out for me?”

“Exactly.” Toji smirked at you while you rolled your eyes playfully.

“I appreciate that. I’ll finish up here and we’ll head to the cafe together then?”

“Sounds good to me.”

You went back to your contemplative state while Toji’s eyes wandered the room. He would never tell you this, but he found many of the pieces actually interesting and hoped you would take him along to more places like this in the future.

[sukuna-dees-nuts]

@nessieartss i did it again lol

based on this ask and this ask because i couldn't get "rizzless sukuna" out of my head 😭 (and also Maki being one of Sukuna's friends is relevant which is why i tagged that ask)

anyway, please enjoy!!

Edit: part 2!!

---

Sukuna can’t keep the scowl off his face as he watches Yuuji from across the courtyard. He watches as his little brother effortlessly jokes with his friends, his face and movements animated enough that they’re clear even from so far away. Yuuji has always been the more charismatic of the two brothers; always the one to make friends first. 

Yuuji throws his head back in laughter, casually throwing his arm around Megumi’s shoulders. Sukuna feels a twinge of jealousy in his gut and he can’t stop the grunt that escapes his throat. 

How ridiculous is he? Getting jealous over nothing. It’s laughable. Sukuna doesn’t get jealous! 

Except… the more he watches his little brother interact with Megumi, the more he finds himself wishing that he could hang out with Megumi—

“Oh fuck me,” he groans, rubbing his hands over his face. 

“What’s got your panties in a twist?” 

Sukuna looks up. Maki takes a seat next to him on the steps, a meticulous brow arched in intrigue. He’s quiet for a moment as he rests his elbows on his knees. While he considers Maki to be one of his closest (and one of his only) friends, Sukuna briefly contemplates brushing his inner turmoil aside. This is her cousin, after all. Would she really want to hear about Sukuna’s stupid crush that he barely acknowledges himself?

Ah, fuck it, he thinks and sits up straighter. 

“How do you ask someone out?”

Maki blinks, taken aback by the question. She holds Sukuna’s gaze as if trying to gauge whether or not he’s being serious. Her mouth presses into a thin line.

“Depends on who you’re wanting to ask out,” she responds with a casual shrug. As she reaches up to fix her ponytail, she asks, “Are you saying that you’ve never asked anyone out before?”

Sukuna sniffs and says nothing, running his tongue over his teeth. His attention turns to his nails, examining them for any chips in the nail polish.

“It’s never been relevant before,” Sukuna grumbles. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Maki shift. She nods slowly with a hum of acknowledgement. 

“So, who is it?” Maki asks.

“Huh?” 

“The person you want to ask out, who is it?” she asks again.

This time, Sukuna hesitates to answer. He’s never been one to be ashamed of his preferences; he always makes his thoughts clear whether it shows on his face or in his words. Like the time when Sukuna argued that the Star Wars franchise was “extremely overrated” and Yuuji nearly had a heart attack (he still hasn’t let it go).

Finally, with a sigh, Sukuna answers in another grumble, “Fushiguro.”

The silence that stretches out between them is loud. Sukuna thinks for a moment that Maki might have gotten up and left. When he looks to the side, he finds that she’s still sitting there, staring at him, an unreadable expression on his face. He fully expects her to start laughing at him, but, she doesn’t. 

Maki continues staring at Sukuna until he narrows his eyes at her, opening his mouth to tell her to just forget about it and fuck off—

“Oh, you’re actually serious,” she huffs. “For a moment I thought you were pulling my leg.”

Sukuna feels his irritation ebb and he rolls his eyes. “Why the hell would I make a joke like that? There are other things I could use to bully you with. Like your stupid glasses. They don’t fit your face.”

Ignoring the comment, Maki goes on, “Fushiguro isn’t one for extravagance. If you really want to ask him out, you should pull him off to the side and ask him privately. He’d appreciate that.” The bell rings, signaling that it’s time for the next class. Maki and Sukuna get to their feet. 

“Also, it would do you well to work on your tactfulness,” the girl adds over her shoulder as she begins to walk away.

Sukuna flips her off. “Fuck you. I’m not asking you for advice anymore.”

He watches as his friend heads back inside before turning his attention back to Megumi who is walking in the opposite direction of his two friends. Sukuna runs a hand through his hair, exhaling a long breath. 

It’s another few seconds of watching Megumi walk before Sukuna’s feet start moving, carrying him in the same direction and he mentally curses at himself again.

Fuck it. Let’s do this.

[bekaroth-reads]

Baldur's Gate 3 Characters x Reader/Tav with childcare habits

[ Not sure what to title this. I work with toddlers and very small children, and there are so many habits that leak over into other things I do. Thought that it would be funny if Tav had the same problem. Not necessarily romantic relationships, it can be platonic too. This is written gender neutral so it can be any reader or Tav.]

Gale- There was a general air of exhaustion that hung over the camp. But, on the bright side, at least Gale could rest easy in the knowledge that there was a very powerful, easy to consume artifact in his hands. While he usually liked to go through the whole song and dance of this unfortunate requirement by himself, he didn’t mind if you were there. You had both seen each other in stranger situations by this point. Add to this that you looked like you were about to fall asleep at any moment, there wasn’t much to be self conscious about.

Just as Gale put the artifact to his lips, you suddenly moved his hand away, giving it a few gentle taps.

“Ick, ick! Makes a Gale sick.” You mumbled, not conscious enough to be considered awake before you rolled over and fell asleep proper.

Gale gave a tickled chuckle that was slightly tinged with the bitterness of the truth in the situation.

“Oh, believe me. I know.” He patted your shoulder and got back to the deed at hand.

Halsin- Everyone else had retired to their tents except Halsin and yourself. The both of you had offered to clean up the mess from dinner. You had talked for awhile, but finally got around to actually cleaning. The pot that was used to cook dinner was left too close to the fire, so it was still too hot to touch with your bare hands. You had used a cloth to move it away, and were waiting for it to cool off when Halsin came over to pick it up.

Moving faster than your thoughts, you moved away his hand while instinctively saying.

“Hot, hot for Halsin!”

You were hoping that he somehow didn’t hear what you had said exactly. And, when all he responded was a polite, “Thank you for the warning,” you thought he might have not. However, Halsin was literally biting his tongue to try not to laugh.

A few days later, he teased you by taking a lit torch from you and gently scolding, “Hot, hot for Tav.”

Astarion- Things haven’t been great for him lately. And, by lately, he meant decades. However, he could wallow in self pity later. Right now he needed to feed, and animal blood wasn't cutting it. Lucky that you seemed to put your bed roll a bit farther from the fire than the others in the group.

He quietly sneaked his way over to you, and prepared to strike. However, when his fangs hit your neck, things took an unexpected turn.

"No bites! Not nice!" You scolded in your sleep as your hand moved to rest on his forehead and gently push him away.

You suddenly woke up. The two of you stared at each other, neither saying anything. After an agonizing awkward few minutes, he walked away.

The next morning he pulled you aside from the rest of the party and sternly whispered, "Look- you don't mention that I'm a vampire and I won't tell them about the baby-talk."

Shadowheart- She and Lae'zel had gotten into an argument. Nothing new for either of them. This one really got under Shadowheart's skin this time.

"Can't believe that slimly toad of a woman thought she could pull something like that..." She grumbled as she stomped past you.

"Hey, are you using your kind words?" You asked.

This stopped her in her tracks and she turned to look at you, her anger almost completely replaced by myrth. "I'm sorry, what did you just say?" She questioned, her voice sounding as devious as she felt.

"Are you speaking well about our teammates?" You rephrased.

Raphael- He had insisted that he recite a new poem that he was working on, even if he had to wake you up to do so. Despite trying to stay awake, you couldn't help but doze off on Haarlep's shoulder. They didn't mind as, though they weren't physically tired, they would also rather be anywhere else. The two of you both being Raphael's quite literal captive audience.

"Oh, no. That most certainly is NOT what you asked me." Shadowheart teased. She wouldn't let you live this down for a long time. She's never too hard on you though.

Once the cambion had finished, he looked at the both of you expecting praise for his prose; Haarlep elbowed you just in the nick of time so you could sit up before Raphael noticed.

"Well?" He goaded.

"Truly, you have outdone yourself." Haarlep gave a purposefully unconvincing cheer.

Raphael rolled his eyes before moving his attention to you. "And, you, Tav?"

Still not fully aware of how you sounded or anything in the actual contents of the poem, you said, "Oh, how pretty, Raphael!" like you would have to a child that just gave you a finger painting.

The next thing you knew, Haarlep was rushing down the hall, you slung over their shoulder, their wings hitting your head with every movement, as they were laughing so hard it almost turned into a coughing fit. The quick escape must have been from the vaguely Raphael shaped fire right behind you, snapping and flinging blazes your direction while cursing and yelling about you not knowing what true art is.

Haarlep- They had heard that you had taken a pretty nasty hit to the head. Still, they hadn't quite expected what they were greeted with when they went to take stock of your condition like they were asked to. (Nurse work wasn't usually in their duties, but Raphael couldn't be bothered to do this himself.)

They appeared in your room to see you sitting on your bed, staring at nothing.

"Knock, knock, little mortal." They announced their presence which tore your eyes away from the space you were looking at.

You looked at them for a moment before giving a exasperated sigh.

"Where are your clothes?" You asked.

They blink a few times, not knowing how else to respond. "I beg your pardon?" They eventually asked.

You walked over to your closet and started digging through it. Eventually you walked over with a completely mixed matched set of clothes. "You have to wear something. You can't just run around in your undies!" The last part was very exaggerated as you lightly pinched and wiggled their nose.

They immediately returned to Raphael with you in tow. "It's worse than we thought." Was all they said as they sat you down and walked away.

Gartash- To say that Enver Gortash's work and habits were messy would be an understatement. It was certainly no different tonight. He had gotten blood and viscera all over him. And, seeing as he loved to get a rise out of you, he chose not to wash it off before going to find you.

When he saw you reading, he took a moment to compose himself to seem as though nothing was amiss, and walked calmly up to you.

"Anything interesting in your books today?" He asked, barely holding his excitement to hear you yell at him.

You started to say something, but when you turned to look at him you took a cloth from your pocket. Reaching up, you rubbed the blood from his face; each pass of the cloth was acompanied with a sing-song, "Wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe."

Gortash was baffled and indignant that he didn't get the reaction he wanted. He smacked your hand away and yelled, "What in the hells was that?!"

"Sorry," you offered sheepishly, "force of habit."

[somehow-a-human]

Deciphering the Angelic Language

DO NOT ASK NEIL ABOUT FAN THEORY

Oh boy, I'm finally tackling a post on this! I haven't seen a ton of discussion about this or progress and I think that's because it's very complicated. I've done a bit of work on it and I'm hoping by sharing here we'll be able to combine our brainpower and make some more progress!

SO! Let's get into it shall we?

Let's start with what we've been told about the Angelic Language:

An SFX team member said that the pillars in heaven "don't translate into words" (so maybe it translates into something like hex? ASCII?)

A speaker at Ineffablecon confirmed that the language "contains meaning and can be decoded"

According to the Chapter 6 VFX Breakdown video, "The creative team broke down the symbols into an alphabet of about 140 runes"

I'm going to start with that last bullet point. An alphabet of about 140 runes, which math-wise narrows down what type of alphabet we might be looking at. Specifically, I think it might point to Consonant/Vowel Pairs, which gives you 126 characters, then add in numbers and punctuation, you've got about 140. That's my best guess anyway.

The next thing i did was look at the Heaven CCTV footage of Gabriel FRAME BY FRAME to analyze the runes on the screen in these scenes. I think this is the best place to start for a number of reasons, first of all, being that the CCTV footage seems to only use a subset of the runes that don't include and modifications like extra dots or ticks. I consider them base runes.

Secondly, the runes cycle through a lot of changes here so it's a great place to look for patterns, and find patterns I did.

I found 4 sets of runes that cycle sequentially through a repeating pattern. Okay I'm going to do my very best to explain this.

The above we will call set A

The above we will call set B

The above we will call set C

The above we will call set D

The runes on the CCTV will *almost* always follow the sequence of their set, and when they reach the end of the set, they're marked with one of the following first two sequences below which I'm referring to as "indicator runes" after which they either repeat the same set or a different set.

The only time the runes change in the middle of a sequence is when they're denoted by the third row indicator runes before the change occurs.

So there does at least seem to be some pattern to the runes, at least when it comes to the ones used in the CCTV footage. These however are only about half of the total number of runes, the other half are derived from these initial ones, and have additional tick marks and dots added to them to add some sort of meaning and differentiation.

These screen grabs are from the Chapter 6 VFX Breakdown video, and during the lead in to these animations I think I can also say that the language is probably read right to left, as that's the direction the runes scroll in on the screen.

These scenes are also shown with a certain glowing overlay, so I'm wondering if when we can figure the language out, if there is an interesting message here to be read as well.

Anyway! If you have any other info or this has sparked any ideas about the language for you please let me know! I will continue to play with it and update when I have anything of note! :)

[bat-play]

Hi! I don't want to seem rude at all!! I promise I'm not here to hate, I just want to get a grasp on how you see the batfamily?? Is it pure pseudocest? Are there some you think are best platonic? Is there a certain comic/movie/show that made you realise the batfam is better as a non-platonic thing??

I personally don't get it due to Bruce (sort of) raising them from a decently young age but I'm interested in learning and hearing about it from your perspective if you're willing to give it!

If not, that's fine, I don't want this to seem rude or a hate remark.

Look I'm not some philosopher, I just think it's hot dude.

If you want a well-crafted and seriously thought out answer about the history, dynamics and reasons to ship these fictional characters, I'd definitely go to blogs like @inkrats and/or @vintagerobin for that.

What I can add though is another question; Why does the majority of people, including the official writers, think Barbara and Dick are sooo stinking cute together even though that's basically "pseudocest" too?

I mean the modern canon is that Barbara and Dick essentially grew up together. Bruce helped raise them both, considering the amount of time Barbara spent with him. She is a part of the Batfamily. So they are "pseudo siblings" just like Jason and Dick for example. How can antis be like "yeah but it's fine. Oh it's even canon in some stories? yeah that's fine. Yeah no no it's not weird. Also KYS if you ship other batfamily members."

Even if we go by the original canon, Barbara was 7 years older than Dick then if I'm not mistaken. And according to posts I've seen, many antis think anything over a 5 year age difference is pedophilia sooooo. Do you see how stupid this all is?

Hell in the animated version of The Killing Joke, Bruce canonically FUCKED Barbara for no reason other than to just have them do it. And yeah most people didn't really vibe with it but it got MADE dude. It got approved, animated, edited and released without any pushback from the workers/writers involved.  

Like the only real difference I can see is that those ships are straight.

Bottom line is, did anyone get hurt in 2013 when everybody and their mother on this damn site was shipping Levi (30-33) and Eren (15) from AOT? No? That's what I thought. And don't even try denying how big that fucking ship was at that time.

Antis are usually young, passionate kids who mean well but they seriously need to learn how fantasy and reality works. And if they can't? You filter your online experience and take care of yourself.

I personally hate kids for example. I do NOT want to see posts about babies, diapers and pregnant bellies when I'm online. Do I send hate to parents or pregnant people? Demand they stop posting? Of course not. I block, I filter tags, scroll past and move on with my life.

[littleeyesofpallas]

Are Kyoraku's game abilities actually based on real Japanese children games? I only know about the Daruma one.

Sorry i put this off so long, i kept meaning to go dig up the old anime episodes to see if the anime added or changed anything, but never did. I'm just leaning on the fan wikia to take inventory and trusting they didn't overlook anything...

Bushogoma[不精独楽]: "Lazy SpinningTop" is the type of spinning top toy you usually see in Japan, where you wind a bit of string around the top to use like a rip chord to send it spinning; as opposed to the sort you'd spin by hand or something.

(It's similar to the beigoma tops that Beyblades are based on.)

(Oh a good thing to note here is that in the japanese version of the game we generally refer to as "tag" as well as the "it" role in it is called "oni" as in a demon/ogre. So the term in all the associated "XYZ-Oni" attacks could functionally just be translated as "XYZ-Tag")

TakaOni[嶄鬼]: "(High/Steep)Mountain Tag" is a play on takaoni[高鬼]: "High(up) Tag" a variation of tag where the tagger must be at even or higher elevation than the person they're tagging. i.e. players higher up than the tagger are considered safe. The "taka" is also a homonym with taka[鷹]: "hawk/falcon" and seems to be a play on how hawks hunt by diving at their prey, meaning they have a blind spot above them.

KageOni[影鬼] "Shadow Tag" is a variation of tag where instead of tagging the person themselves, whoever is "it" has to touch their shadow to tag them out.

IroOni[艶鬼]: "colorful/lustrous oni" is actually a pun on irooni[色鬼]: "Color Tag." Unlike in the manga the rule is usually that once a color is declared, touching anything of that color is considered "safe," so each round is a matter of chasing down players until everyone is either out or safe, then declaring a new target color.

Daruma-san ga koronda[だるまさんがころんだ] got the most attention I think of the whole line up and is the Japanese name for what I think it most commonly called "Red Light, Green Light" in English.

(Pretty notably the manga Kami-sama no Iu Touri[神さまの言うとおり] aka As The Gods Will used it as the first big game in their death game series, with a literal Japanese daruma doll. It's also what Squid Game stole its first game plot from, beat for beat.)

Kageokuri[影送り]: "Shadow send(off)" i don't know that this is really a "game" but it's when you stare at your shadow on the ground for a bit then up at the sky and can see your shadow's afterimage.

BBS adds Yubikiri[指斬り]: lit."finger beheading" as in to cut off the "head" of a finger. It's what we'd call a "pinky promise" in English, the idea being that you've sworn to keep whatever promise at the cost of cutting off your pinky if you aren't faithful to it.

...as well as Kagome kagome[囲召籠目]: "encircled basket eye" a pun on[籠目籠目]: "basket eye, basket eye." Children hold hands in a circle with an oni/it in the middle, they dance around in said circle singing while the center child keeps their eyes close, and when the song ends the oni/it has to guess who is directly behind them. The tune of the song that goes with it is extremely recognizable.

Some of the old videogames had original techniques but those were largely made before any of his actual powers were revealed so they're mostly just like wind elemental attacks and don't contribute to the theme.(ugh... goddamnit now that i went and looked for it i realize there's like zero info around most of those old games and it makes me want to download emulator files for them all and look up all their move lists... i dont want to actually do all that tho...)

Honestly I'm surprised Katen and Kyokotsu didn't have any anime original abilities in the filler arc or something...

They do have a BBS card with the move Utage-no-Ikkyou[宴の一興]: "Amusement/(Brief)Entertainment of (a) Feast/Party" which isn't really a game of any sort. at least not specifically. It would refer to something like a bit of song and dance interlude at a feudal era banquet. Admittedly a clever intersection of Katen and Kyokotsu's differing types of play -children's game vs adult entertainment.

[kanguin]

Apropos of nothing, here's my top 15 anime and whether the story would be improved if you made the main character a trans girl:

1. That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime - You can't transition Rimuru in a way that matters, but honestly if Rimuru did start to ID as a woman over time, that would be cool. Unlikely though considering his human form is the body of Shizu, so a fully fem form would feel pervy to Rimuru.

2. Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood - Well it'd certainly make the title funny if you made Edward into Edwina. And it'd make Ed/Winry into yuri. But honestly it'd change very little imho. Though it would be interesting to explore transition in a world where alchemy exists, but just in a different story. Might make for a fascinating post-canon fanfic?

3. Mushoku Tensei: Jobless Reincarnation - Oh god would it. The story is already focused on exploring identity and already has dysphoria when a god he talks to forces him into his pre-reincarnation body on the astral plane. Making Rudy into a polyamorous trans lesbian would literally be peak and elevate the story so much.

4. Kaguya-sama: Love is War - You know what? Yeah. I can vibe with making Miyuki Shirogane trans. It would add another layer of intrigue to the story AND make it gay. It could even be funny if Kaguya or Chica found out before Shirogane did. Wait. No. It would be hilarious if YU ISHIGAMI found out first, and just, assumed Miyuki was closeted, and not just, clueless. Yes this could add so much entertainment value.

5. Dungeon Meshi - Lord almighty get this autistic furry a choker and some estrogen, stat. I make it no secret how I feel about the Trans Touden Sisters interpretation.

6. Dandadan - Make Okarun and Jiji trans girls and make the main cast a messy polycule and sign me the FUCK up please! It would be so funny and so much fun. I NEED this version of Dandadan. It'd be even funnier considering how much is focused around Ken's junk and him being partially possessed by an old lady.

7. Overlord - NGL I'm not even sure anything would change if you made Momonga into a trans woman. She'd act the exact same, and so would everyone else. Interesting for sure, but fruitless, ultimately.

8. My Dressup Darling - Crack? Crack cocaine? Do you realize how amazing it would be to make this into a story about a gyaru girl pulling a closeted trans girl excitably out of the closet?! This would make this so much cuter than it already is, I think I'd EXPLODE.

9. How a Realist Hero Rebuilt the Kingdom - It wouldn't change much narratively, but the world could always use more stories with polyamorous trans lesbians as the protagonist.

10. The Faraway Paladin - Wouldn't change much honestly, but it would be cool. Tbh Season 2 Will looks like a stealth/closeted trans girly already.

11. Mob Psycho 100 - Again wouldn't change much but would be fun. Put Mob on estrogen and watch her transform from anxiety autism failboy to anxiety autism failgirl. And then still be the kindest person in any room.

... Okay though, on second thought, getting to see her go ???% on a transphobe would be cool as shit.

12. One Punch Man - another no change case. One Punch Woman. She has boobs now. She probably transitioned in like a day somehow.

13. My Hero Academia - I think putting Midoriya on estrogen would fix the show actually. Maybe also put the writer on estrogen just to be sure. (joke)

14. Kill la Kill - Making Ryuko Matoi a trans girl would actually be really cool, especially with her challenging establishment, with the themes of clothes being a restrictive aspect of society, and with her gay romance with Mako. I've seen so many trans girls on Tumblr with Ryuko's exact shameless, confident personality, I just know it'd be epic.

15. Cautious Hero: The Hero is Overpowered but Overly Cautious - It would change little about how Seiya acts, but realizing she's trans would definitely give Ristarte's bisexual ass a nosebleed. Though Seiya would probably be ultra mega hyper closeted behind numerous mystic barriers, so that'd be fun to explore.

[celestial-letters]

and the crowd went mild 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 also no chara dividers im lazy rn

these r so short id add more but im rushing rn sorry lmfao 😭😭😭

intended lowercase!

misc. obm hcs

LUCIFER

wakes up at the ass crack of dawn every single morning.

wears those old man pjs. with the long hat and fuzzy slippers and gown. you know the one.

most bitter coffee you've ever had in your life how he can drink it is astonishing.

his bed, his mattress, his pillows are all as hard as rock how does this man SLEEP.

sleeps like hes the corpse at the funeral hes that one image

MAMMON

will pull you into a headlock and call it a hug.

LEVIATHAN

guy who had mountain dew and cheeto dust in his veins instead of blood. guy who marinates in his room for two months straight. guy who- (i am immediately shot dead).

did a collab with the anti-lucifer league to create a 100k words dialuci fic to piss off lucifer (dont worry about him he got paid in anime and tsl merch).

TRULY believes he is the #1 tsl fan. and also #1 ruri fan.

wimp who VOLUNTARILY makes you cosplays if you are a cosplayer or even if you aren't. it will happen.

vtuber fan. he was like "hey i wanna be a streamer but i dont wanna show my face but i also want to be an anime boy! wait-" and now hes a vtuber.

has accidentally referred to all of his brothers as "chat" at least once. hes never recovering from that btw.

SATAN

cannot stop annotating books he reads for the life of him.

all of his books are just filled to the brim with sticky notes because all he does is annotate.

once he has a crush he will start imagining him and them in the same scenarios as the characters in romance novels he read. (loser alert!!)

sneaking a new cat into hol like once a week (he never succeeds btw).

ASMODEUS

oh boy his room REEKS of perfume and body spray.

"i sprayed my new perfume in every nook and cranny! smells so floral and elegant, don't you think?" (it smells like a bath and body works threw up.)

surprisingly plays the trumpet and BOY is he loud. bro is absolutely blasting those notes.

worst driver ever btw.

BEELZEBUB

freckles all over!! like a lot. *im not beating the insane allegations*

ate like 27 family size dorito bags, 30 dollars worth of taco bell, and four sprites in one sitting and he still hasnt recovered.

sleeps. like a lot. not as much as belphie but enough to be considered an eepy guy.

BELPHEGOR

will randomly grab every blanket and pillow he can get his hands on and make a nest in the common room if he's up to it. and then have everyone make a dog pile in it just so they can hang out and be silly.

will NOT clean it up afterwards. lucifer will tell him to and his only response will be "im tired..."

freckles like beel too i think theyre silly.

9829364 cow plushies. (theyre all from lucifer)

SOLOMON

will randomly gaslight people for no reason

"hey did you do the homework"

homework? what homework? there was homework? my, what even is homework? never heard of that.

"hey, i heard of this animal from the human world called a giraffe! can i see a picture?"

what? what's a giraffe? oh, those!! yeah, they're just myths. they're not real. purely fiction!!

yk that one post about tumblr funnyman solomon. he is a tumblr funnyman to me. he confidently posts his exploded spaghetti and gets 10k notes i think.

SIMEON

has a book club with satan and solomon. :)

probably writes oneshots of the brothers on tumblr idfk man (sorry to the simeon fans i write like nothing on this guy bro).

LUKE

bodily six ("but didnt the devs say hes ten?" shut up. /j)

along with that, also shorter than in canon. (since hes. yk. a first grader. that BOY is not five foot hes one sauce packet long dude.)

favorite store in the human world is walmart. i like to think his human world outfit is all exclusively from walmart bc thats funny i think.

DIAVOLO

hands of STEEL. he tries to grab your wrist and he nearly crushes it by accident.

ice cream!! he loves it :) his favorite is strawberry btw.

also this boy is NOT a himbo hes a smart man.

needs like a hug and some sleep and also a friend this boy works too much!!

BARBATOS

short. like really short. especially according to devildom standards since most demons are super tall.

"but isn't he six feet?" not in my heart.

somehow always making tea for some reason?? if he's not making tea then he's making pastries.

my boy does not SLEEP. hasn't slept since the sun has been birthed and doesn't plan on ever doing it.

[magicalgirlypop]

the women of death note deserve better

so i just finished death note. i have Thoughts about the show. some good, some bad. its not the type of show i'd usually watch but there was something in it that kept me watching. but there was one aspect of the show that bothered me to no end, one that made me consider dropping the show more than once. and that's its treatment of its female characters.

now i know shonen isn't exactly known for writing women well. this isn't to say ALL shonen is like that, but the more popular ones definitely have this problem. the women are either sidelined, reduced to love interests, or aren't allowed to reach their full potential, and this can really be seen in the women of death note. for a show that prides itself on having complex, layered characters with depths that keep people talking two decades later, it sure does drop the ball when it comes to writing women. so here i'm gonna go through all the women of death note and how they were done dirty. keep in mind this is all referring to the anime, i haven't read the manga.

naomi misora

starting off with the one that pissed me off the most. naomi had me intrigued from the moment she first appeared on screen. she was a former fbi agent who left her job because her asshole fiance convinced her it was too dangerous, and then blew off her suggestions (which ultimately lead to his death which. el oh fucking el). she was able to piece together that kira could control how his victims die. she could add a lot to the story given that she previously worked with L. she could've been a part of the task force and would help them piece together clues that would pin down kira. does she do all that? LOL NOPE. the writers decided she was too powerful and killed her off within two episodes of her introduction. now i know this is death note and a lot of characters die. but naomi's death pissed me off the most. here was a woman who had so much potential and could solve the case within two episodes and she's killed off. oh but at least she stars in a spinoff novel half the fandom won't read! isn't that just GREAT? look how much we love women guys!

yeah all this time later and i'm still pissed off about how they did her. naomi bby you deserve so much better.

misa amane

OH BOY GET READY FOR A BIG ONE. so misa was actually the reason i wanted to watch death note because she's fucking gorgeous. i didn't have many expectations about how she'd be written considering this is a popular shonen, but even then i was disappointed. misa is the main female character of death note. she's presented as the second kira who has shinigami eyes, which gives her the power to see a person's name and lifespan by looking at their face. she was saved by a shinigami who was in love with her and got his notebook, and her current shinigami rem (more on her next) also has feelings for her. she worships kira because he killed her parents' murderer. she finds out light is kira because her shinigami eyes don't allow her to see the lifespan of a death note owner and as such asks him to make her his girlfriend.

misa misa misa. my gorgeous goth girl. you deserved to be written so much better. a second kira who has shinigami eyes? she could've been so cool. but the writers made 90% of her personality revolve around light and treated her as this dumb, impulsive girl who worships the ground light walks on. and light doesn't even treat her that well. he just uses her and takes his frustrations out on her. oh, and don't get me started on this bullshit

look, i get that misa is a killer and had to be restrained. but WAS THIS FETISHY CRAP NECESSARY?? WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THE FUCKING CROTCH STRAP?? when light was imprisoned he wasn't tied up like THIS. this is just another case of shonen authors being fucking weirdos with their female characters.

and in the end she kills herself because light dies. instead of letting her heal and live her life the author decides "welp, the man we based 90% of misa's character on is dead, time to kill her off too". just absolute bullshit. she deserved so SO much better.

rem

rem, my gorgeous butch shinigami. she became my favourite character when she was introduced. i was actually surprised by how direct they were about her feelings for misa. i'd seen bits and pieces of remisa before and i thought it'd be one of those ships the writers dance around but they explicitly had her say she has feelings for misa. i was so surprised and happy at that. but of course, this is a popular shonen so i shouldn't have had high expectations. my problem with how they treated rem comes in her death. she dies after killing watari and L to extend misa's lifespan. if a shinigami extends a human's lifespan they die. now, i'm not gonna say her death is an example of bury your gays because gelus, the male shinigami who saved misa before, met the same fate. however, i will say its very Interesting that the only canonically lesbian character who explicitly declares her feelings for another woman dies BECAUSE of those feelings. and then she isn't even acknowledged by misa which is so weird considering how much rem helped her. there's no scene of misa even mentioning rem or mourning her death. she dies without anyone knowing. i do enjoy the doomed yuri aspect of remisa but i really do wish they'd have misa at least acknowledge rem's death.

wedy

wedy, aka merrie kenwood, is a spy who joins the task force in the yotsuba arc. she's an expert at getting through security and is crucial in helping pin down higuchi as kira as she's the one who installs the bugs in yotsuba's meeting room and higuchi's cars. another cool female character with a lot of potential. you know what that means. TIME TO KILL HER OFF! wedy doesn't get much screentime and then dies within eight episodes of her introduction. which is slightly better than naomi. but still. i won't say this is also a case of misogynistic writing as aiber also dies. however, there is a pattern of having a female character with potential, not giving her enough spotlight, and killing her off shortly after her debut.

sayu yagami

sayu, my poor bbygirl sayu. she's introduced as light's bubbly little sister. in the timeskip she goes to college. her most significant role is getting kidnapped so her father could give up the death note to mello's men, making her the classic damsel in distress. and the poor girl is so traumatized that she's in a catatonic state and has to be wheelchair bound and taken care of by her mother. oh, and there's also that weird comment matsuda makes about her which... really dude? sayu isn't AS badly done as she doesn't play much of a role beyond her kidnapping. but still, she also deserves so much better.

kiyomi takada

i didn't think i'd be as pissed off about how they did a female character as i did about naomi and misa but BOY they proved me wrong. takada was light's girlfriend in college but she doesn't play a major role until the timeskip where she becomes kira's spokesperson. like misa, she worships kira. she's happy when she finds out light is kira and would do anything for him. so another woman who worships the ground light walks on. how original. she's supposed to be smart but they never demonstrate it. and need i mention that rivalry between her and misa? making two women catty to each other over a man who isn't even all that, how very typical. but what pissed me off the most was her kidnapping. that scene where mello asks her to take off all her clothes, and then she's left with nothing but a blanket? so fucking weird, i don't care if she's kira's spokesperson. this show has a history of treating its women weirdly and i'm not gonna believe this was anything but the author being weird once again. because what even was the point of that? and then she's killed by light to destroy all evidence. i'm saying this a lot at this point but takada also deserves better. she deserved to live up to her potential.

halle linder

out of everyone, halle is treated the best and that's not saying much. she's a double agent serving as takada's bodyguard and a spy for the spk. she's also the only woman besides sayu and sachiko who survived till the end and wasn't killed off. which i just realised. out of all the women in this show, only THREE survive till the end. isn't that something? i think my only issue with halle is the lack of spotlight. which is a theme with these women.

i thought of adding sachiko but she isn't much of a character. but there you have it. i'm not sure how bad it is in other popular shonen. but death note is full of women who had potential but the author squandered it for the sole reason that they're women. and its so jarring because people can write essays on light, L, near, mello, etc. even MATSUDA had more care put into him than any of these women. which is a damn shame. these women deserve to be in a show that actually cared about them, where they can actually live up to their potential.

i don't dislike death note. it definitely has its strong points. but the treatment of its women is something i take issue with, very strongly. if the author wasn't a weirdo and a nasty misogynist i feel like these women would've been the complex characters they deserved to be.

[devillime]

Okay I’d like to talk about the treatment of the side characters and how empty the world feels so this is not proof read or anything this is a rant

Firstly

The world

We know that other students are there i understand that making a game takes time but for crying out loud the whole world of devildom feels so empty and yes we have the Little D’s but they are mainly in the castle with barbatos so they are practically diavolo servants like barbatos and even the recent event we are helping barbatos with serving nobles

NOBLES

Which is just baffling to me because games like arcana twilight that came out after obey me and are clearly inspired by obey me at least feels alive do we see full body sprites no of course not but we this

We can see what the characters look like to get a better understanding of how they look yet in obey me nothing really now I know if I remember CORRECTLY Nightbringer will be a continuation of the original game but it’s honestly stupid how a game like a obey me that been out longer than arcana twilight feels so empty

I’m asking for but if you want to write a good story and make me fee apart of it then take a moment to let us explore how the world works on OUR own.

Secondly

The side characters

Don’t get me wrong I love the brothers but I also love the side characters just as much but it’s ridiculous on how little screen time they have now is crazy not to mention the treatment of the new characters

First diavolo HES THE FUTURE KING OF HELL FOR CRYING OUT LOUD I believe he should get enough screen time but no the devs go against it

And before anyone say “well originally the side characters weren’t dateable” I only started playing after they were dateable but are doing some research the “side characters” have been dateable for a good while to the point they technically be considered they are perusing the mc minus Luke

So why are they still getting shit on by the devs? Probably because when most people think of the game they think of the brothers but honestly which character peaked your interest before playing the game because for me it was diavolo

And don’t get me started on the new characters this is more of a pet peeve with the fandom but why do you guys mischaracterize Mephistopheles and Raphael? Raphael has a similar if not same personality as belphie yet a lot of people say belphie is being cute while Raphael is being rude and Mephistopheles I’m sorry Lucifer fans but think of it from Mephistopheles perspective I’d be piss to if I was born to practically be someone right hand man only to get cased aside for something new?

A lot of you guys had mischaracterize thirteen when she came out but the devs oh god we barely seen thirteen and Mephistopheles in Nightbringer now Raphael I can kinda understand but the two that are in devildom with us don’t show up? That’s a joke like seriously

At this point why did they add them if they don’t appear as much hell I dare say obey me could have been a yandere otome game where the brothers became yandere after making a pact with the mc and the side characters like Solomon and Mephistopheles noticed this and try and help us but Solomon can’t tell Simeon and Luke because another war might break out again

But that’s all I have to say I brought up the world building or lack of in the official obey me server and people seem to say “but it be more pressure on the devs” I get that but this game gets a lot of money and I’m pretty sure it’s more pressure if they can’t keep the story straight because after lesson 40 I’m pretty sure we all have questions

And please PLEASE LET US SEE THE SIDE CHARACTERS MORE IN THE ANIME PLEASE

Rant off

[vodika-vibes]

Your Monnk headcanons got me thinking about a modern au surfer!Monnk or diver!Monnk x reader fic 👀 so I will kindly be requesting that to add fuel to mine and your obsession 💖

When The Sun Goes Down

Summary: You’ve never been a beach girl. There’s always too much sun, too much sand, and too many people for you to consider the beach a good time, let alone a relaxing time. It's too bad that your friend group has a majority rules policy, so you’re dragged to the beach even though you hate it. A chance meeting with a surfer might just change your opinion, though.

Pairing: Commander Monnk x F!Reader

Word Count: 1667

Warnings: Implications adult activities, reader got ditched by her friends

A/N: So the premise of this story is "make bad decisions in your twenties that turns out to be not such a bad decision". Also, there might be some errors because I'm actually hurting right now but Monnk is worth it. Also, the reader is based on me, only I never had a meet cute at the beach.

Click HERE to be added to my taglist

You like to think that you’re a pretty chill person. Things don’t bother you, not really. Not in the way they bother your friends.

But you also think that you might hate the beach.

You’ve never enjoyed it, even when you were a kid. But somehow it has become even more intolerable now that you’re an adult. The sand gets everywhere, and it’s always packed with people.

Your friends say it’s time for a “hot-girl summer” and you’d rather be elsewhere. Literally, anywhere else would be preferable to where you are. You’d even take a volcano at this point.

A small frown crosses your face as you stretch your legs out in front of you. Your friends have long since ditched you to go swimming, well, except for the ones who ditched you to flirt with the group of surfers who arrived at the same time as you all did.

You suppose you could get up and go do something. It’s not like you have anything to watch. The only items that are on the beach are the blankets you brought to sit on, and the book you’re reading. Everything else was left in the car.

A group of old men inch closer to your blanket, and you heave out a deeply frustrated sigh. You’re done.

You hop to your feet, gather your book and blanket, and then walk down to the firmer sand near the water. There’s got to be someplace on this beach where you can sit without being ogled by old men, right?

So, you start walking.

And, eventually, you find yourself in a quieter part of the beach. Honestly, at first, you think you wandered onto a private beach as there are that few people nearby, though you quickly realize that this part of the beach is largely empty because there are no shops or public bathrooms in the area. 

You’re considering setting up your blanket here when you hear someone walking in the water. A man is walking in the water, holding a surfboard. At first blush, you think that he’s one of the men your friends were flirting with, but then realize that he doesn’t look anything like them.

He’s taller, for one, and broader. With bleached hair pulled into a messy bun at the base of his skull. Some of his hair is falling out of his bun, and you notice that there’s a hint of blue at the ends.

But his most obvious feature is the giant tattoo covering his body. An octopus of some kind, you think. But you’ve never been good at identifying sea animals. 

He glances at you, a wide grin on his face, “Great day for surfin’ isn’t it?”

“Oh! Well, I wouldn’t know. I don’t surf.” You reply sheepishly.

“No? It’s fun~” He offers temptingly.

“Maybe if you’re coordinated,” You joke, “I’m so clumsy I trip over air.”

“Wanna learn?” He asks, his eyes bright.

You’re surprised for a moment, and then a startled laugh falls from your lips, “Do you often offer to teach people you just met how to surf?”

His grin widens, “I do when they look like you.”

“Ah, so this is you trying to hit on me.”

“This is me succeeding in hitting on you.” He counters as he approaches you. He sets his board in the sand and offers you his hand, “Monnk.”

“Sorry?”

“My name. It’s Monnk.” You must shoot him an odd look, because he lets out a laugh, “I know, I know. It’s not a normal name, but at least I’m not named after an animal, my older twin brothers are named Wolffe and Fox.”

“That’s…interesting.” You offer sheepishly as you take his hand.

“It’s weird as fuck, you don’t have to lie for my sake.” His hands are warm and calloused, and he presses his free hand over the top of yours.

It’s weird, but even though you just met Monnk you feel comfortable around him. Even though he’s touching you more than would be considered appropriate. 

A tiny smile crosses your lips and you offer him your name.

Although you’re wearing a bikini (a tiny yellow one, at your best friend’s insistence) Monnk’s gaze never strays from your face. It’s kind of nice, being seen as a person rather than a pair of tits.

“So, what do you think, Lotus? Wanna learn how to surf?”

You want to question him about the strange nickname, but his second question takes all of your attention. Nervously, you bite your lower lips, and his gaze drops to your lips for a moment, and then back to your eyes.

“What if I fall?”

“Then you fall.”

“But, I’m wearing a bikini, if I fall then it might come loose—” You fret.

“There’s no one here but us, and I won’t tell anyone if you have a wardrobe malfunction,” Monnk replies, his voice earnest. You shoot him a look, and he laughs softly, “Or, you can wear my shirt.” He offers you a dark blue tee shirt.

“But it’s yours.”

“And now it’s yours. Because I’m a stellar person.” Monnk teases.

You’re running out of reasons to deny him. And, truthfully, you don’t want to deny him. You glance up at him and pull his shirt on. It hangs on you, he’s just that much bigger than you are, “I’m not the strongest swimmer.” You admit.

“I won’t let you get hurt.” And when Monnk says it, you can’t help but believe him. 

“Yeah, alright.”

He grins at you and tugs you toward the water, pausing only long enough to grab his board.

Several hours later, you’re soaked and a little sore. His shirt is clinging to you uncomfortably, and your hair is stuck to your face. But for the first time you can remember, you’re having a good time at the beach.

But now the sun is setting, and you aren’t ready for the day to end.

At the moment, you’re sitting on his board, while his arms are resting on your thighs and his chin resting on his folded arms. Now that you’re closer to him, you can tell that his tattoo isn’t an octopus. You think it might be a squid of some kind.

“You like it?” 

Your gaze drifted from his tattoo to his face, “Sorry?”

“My tattoo.” He clarifies, “Do you like it?”

“It’s a squid of some kind, right?”

“It’s the Kraken,” Monnk agrees, “It took ages to get done. Especially since it covers most of my body.”

“I bet it hurt.”

“Like a bitch, but it was worth it.” Monnk grins, “My General says that I should add a ship being destroyed by the Kraken, but I’m thinking I’ll add a mermaid instead.” One of his fingers glides across the outside of your thigh, “How about it, lotus? Wanna become my mermaid?”

“Do any of these lines work?” You ask, amused.

“Dunno, you’re the first person I’m using them on. So you tell me.”

Oh. You’re face burns with flustered embarrassment.

Then Monnk grins at you, “Yeah. It’s working.”

“You’re the worst, you know that?”

“And yet, you’re here. With me. Letting me touch you. So I guess I’m not that bad.”

You huff and splash him with some water, making him laugh and tug you off the board.

The sudden cold water makes you squeak in surprise, and you splash him again, “Mean!” Anything else you might have said to him is cut off when his arms slide around your waist and he pulls you flush against him. 

“Mm, you’re soft.” The wide grin has faded into something softer and you avert your gaze, embarrassed. He lightly bumps his forehead against yours, and your eyes find his again.

“You’re going to regret this, Monnk.” You whisper to him.

“I’ve never regretted anything a day in my life,” He counters, his voice quiet, “I’m not going to start now.”

You don’t know what to say to that, so you don’t say anything. Then it doesn’t matter, as his lips catch yours in a kiss that starts mild but quickly grows more and more passionate.

And when his hands slide under the long shirt that you’re wearing, you can’t help but sigh against his lips. How long has it been since someone touched you like this?

Monnk laughs against your lips and pulls you closer.

By the time the pair of you return to shore, the sun has long since set.

Monnk apologizes about taking so much of the day from you, though there’s no actual apology in his voice. He almost sounds smug about it. He does look smug about it.

Then you realize that your friends ditched you, with no way to call home.

“Ah, sorry lotus. That is my fault,” Monnk says as he drapes an arm over your shoulder.

“No, it’s fine,” You fold your arms, “They’re the ones who left me here, so it’s their fault.”

“You can crash with me,” Monnk offers, “My hotel room has room for two. Tomorrow I’ll buy you some clothes and give you a lift home.”

That would work, hotels offer shampoo and the like at no cost after all. “You don’t mind?”

“Do I mind having the gorgeous woman I just spent several hours getting to know sharing my bed? No, no I don’t.”

You shoot him an amused look, “I feel bad for messing up your vacation.”

“Don’t be, I have to return home tomorrow anyway.” Monnk grins at you, “This just means that I get to spend the whole night learning you properly before I return you home.”

“Pervert,” 

“I didn’t hear you complaining earlier.”

You steadfastly ignore the way your face is burning, “That’s not the point.”

Monnk laughs, “Come on, sweetheart. I’ll even be a good date and buy you dinner before taking you back to bed.”

“Back to bed implies that we used a bed, Monnk.”

He glances at you, his eyes dancing with laughter, “Well then, this will be a treat for us both.”

@imabeautifulbutterfly

@n0vqni

@bad4amficideas

@justiceandwar98

@mira-loves-star-wars

@tiredbi-peach

@dukeoftheblackstar

@trixie2023

@kimiheartblade

@padawancat97

@falconfeather23435

@etod

@bb8-99

@kiss-anon

@continous-mistakes

@yoitsjay

@liz-stat

@cc--2224

@adriennelenoir

@cdblake1565

@sweater-sloot

@heidnspeak

@wax-birds

@silly-starfish

@lonewolflupe

@maniacalbooper

[peppermintmagicianlynn]

TimBer Week 2024: Bernard's Birthday

TimBer Week 2024 Day #6: Bernard's Birthday

This one is set in an AU where the Grieves Trio made it to senior year. Oh, also Darla has magic. Because.

--

“Happy birthday, you filthy animal!”

Bernard had two seconds to turn around and brace himself before Darla came flying into his arms. He managed to catch and spin for two rotations before he started to wobble. Luckily, Tim was there to support both of their weight. Other students sent them dirty looks for blocking the school hallway, but the trio paid them no mind. They were always like this.

“Thanks Dal, but I feel that in light of my new age, you should add Mister or Sir in there.”

She gave him a remarkably unimpressed look, considering she was clinging to him like a koala. “Or I could turn you into a frog and you can just be a filthy animal.” She raised two fingers, letting them spark with red magic as a threat.

Bernard, who never backed down from anything, replied. “As long as Tim will kiss me back to a prince, go for it. That’s the best Birthday gift I could want.”

Tim let them both fall into a giggling heap on the floor.

—

“But what do you actually want for your birthday, Bern?” Tim kept his tone casual, hoping to offset how badly he want to hold hos boyfriend’s hand as they walked the halls to lunch. They did that now and then, but Tim didn’t feel like glaring at all the shit-talkers who had a problem with their PDA. He wanted all of his attention ready for what Bernard would say next.

“You know I don’t,” the blond replied, bumping their shoulders together. “My parents max out my gift limit every time a sale comes out. I guess they think if they preemptively get me stuff, I won’t ask for anything else during the holidays. I don’t know if I’m more annoyed that that plan always works or that they know me enough to get things I actually kind of like. I hope to God they aren’t secretly mind-readers.”

“Nah, you’re just easy to read. If the Dowds were mind-readers, they would know about our plan to get you into culinary school and skip out on that biomed college you got a scholarship for. Just 7 more months before I can get the trust fund Mom left me.”

“If you’re not going to let me fight crime with you, you don’t get to pay my way through life. That was the deal, remember?”

“Hey,” Darla clapped her hands to cut off their bickering, “less sugar-baby debates and more discussions about birthday fun. This a big year, guys; we have to do something for it!”

“We’re not going to Trampoline Planet again, are we?”

“I think we’re banned from there, babe.”

“Yeah, but Aquista money gets us into a lot of places we’ve been banned from.”

Darla ignored them both, using her phone to quickly google some ideas for how to celebrate a friend’s birthday. She saw a promising idea though it would be very hard to pull off on such short notice. Maybe if she asked her mother… Darla glanced behind her, where Bern and Tim were shoving each other and giggling like saps. As long as they were distracted, Darla might manage to send some texts out and get this done.

Bernard would love it.

--

“Thank you everyone for joining today’s French Cuisine class!” Despite her heavy French accent, the instructor was bright and peppy as she grinned out over the class. “We arranged for this lesson on very short notice, I know, but I am glad to see so many of you are here. Our dish for today: a simple and elegant chocolate soufflé!”

Bernard squealed in delight.

As soon as school had let out, Darla threw them into her limo and had her drivers take them to the local community center. There was a cooking class that had spontaneously decided to host a lesson this afternoon and there were exactly three open spots available, which was just so perfect as their Bernard-Birthday activity! She’d pointedly ignored Tim’s suspicious glare while taking in Bernard’s sun-bright grin. The only thing he loved more than conspiracy theories (but less than trolling his friends) was learning new dishes.

Tim, however, had some reservations. The instructor had provided neatly drawn diagrams on the whiteboard to help if they got lost, but the detective could only stare at them like he was in desperate need of a codebreaker. He might excel in chemistry, but the baking arts still eluded him at times. Bernard offered him an empathetic pat on the back, taking a moment to admire his cute boyfriend in his sleek black apron they’d all been given, but really couldn’t contain his excitement for this class. Chocolate soufflés were one of Bernard’s favorite desserts and he was stoked to learn how to make them himself.

While the instructor went on with her explanation of the ingredients, Bernard gave her his full attention. Tim leaned into Darla's side to hiss, “We could have just cone to a restaurant, you know.”

“He loves interactive junk like this. Plus, we have a professional here so you can’t burn the place down.”

“I’m not taking that from the witch-wannabe who blew up a microwave. You’re lucky Raven owed me a favor, or else you’d have Shadowpact on your ass.”

“I couldn’t figure out how to change the temperature settings! Besides, you did worse. Dana still doesn’t know about the ‘additions’ you made to her food processor, does she?!”

Bernard placed a hand on either of their dark-haired heads and turned them gently to look towards the front of the room instead of shooting glares at one another. The rest of the class had already started following instructions, but the teacher was sending the three of them dirty looks for slacking off. You could tell she wasn’t fond of having rambunctious teenagers in her oh-so-elegant French cuisine class. The trio arranged themselves to the ‘innocent angels’ formation and this seemed to convince her they were not going to be any more trouble. Naïve.

Despite Tim's worries, they worked well together even in the kitchen. Tim chopped the chocolate, Darla measured the ingredients, and Bernard cracked the eggs and stirred the pot while they poured everything in as needed. Bernard laughed at the faces they made when he started zesting the orange peel into the chocolate. "I promise you, if you avoid the white parts, this does help make it delicious."

Darla opened her mouth to make a joke, but Tim pinched her before she could get the first syllable out, turning her word into a shriek. This got them yet another aggravated glare from the teacher, and Bernard quickly put the zester out of reach before it could become a weapon.

When it was time to whip the eggwhites, Bernard left it to Tim. He made a hesitant face when Bernard handed over the whisk, but Darla was making faces behind Bernard’s back so he had to take up the task. Bernard watched him struggle to move the whisk fast enough while controlling the bowl but after he nearly flipped the entire thing, it seemed like he’d need to rescue him.

Bernard stepped behind Tim, wrapping his arms around the raven-haired boy to help steady both his boyfriend and the bowl. He gently guided Tim's hands to hold the whisk at the right angle, showing him how to make smooth, controlled movements.

"Like this," Bernard murmured near Tim's ear, helping him create a rhythmic motion. "You want to incorporate air into the whites, but not too violently." Their hands moved in sync, watching as the egg whites slowly began to transform from liquid to soft peaks.

Tim leaned back slightly against Bernard's chest, focusing on matching the steady pace Bernard had set. After a few minutes, the egg whites began forming stiff, glossy peaks that held their shape.

"Perfect," Bernard said softly, giving Tim's hands a gentle squeeze. "See? You're a natural. Darla, would you add a pinch of salt?"

"Sure. I guess I have to serve some purpose around here."

Tim's back muscles tensed, signaling he was about to make a snarky comment. Bernard gently tapped his forehead against the back of his boyfriend's head—a warning not to pick a fight that put their creation at risk. Tim settled for flipping Darla off instead, keeping his words to himself.

Folding the whipped cream and chocolate together was Darla’s job. Mainly because Bernard didn’t want to let Tim go, so she would have to carry them now. “You got this, I believe in you.” This was muttered into Tim’s fluffy hair as they rocked back and forth together, but Bernard trusted her to know who that message was for.

Speaking of messages, there was a beep coming from Tim’s short collar that meant one of the Bats needed attention. They’d all had to remove their watches (and the bat-tech Tim had implanted in them) but he’d kept the mini receiver just in case. Bernard released his boyfriend to run out into the hall for a “personal call” while Bernard continued to not help Darla.

“You think it’s Robin on the other side? I think Tim mentioned Oracle is ‘down for maintenance’ so he had to be the call center.” Though Tim had moved on to a new name and mostly patrolled their neighborhood, he and the Bats still helped each other out. Bernard had even seen the Girl Wonder swinging through the streets when that gang war had popped off last year. She’d helped Batman save Gotham, though it was Batgirl and Nightwing who’d helped Tim save their school from those gunmen.

“Don't worry about that, Bear,” Darla said, using her magic to pull him into her side. It was as much of a comforting hug as she could offer while scooping chocolate-cream mix into the rest of the whipped cream. “Robin is way too good for Tim Drake.”

“Then what does that make me?”

“His perfect match.”

“Damn right.”

Bernard ladled the souffle mix into their cups, Darla cleaned up the edges, and Tim took over to the kitchen ovens where they would bake with the rest of the class. This left them 15 minutes to clean up their station and NOT look like total delinquents.

Which of course was when it all went wrong and this time, Bernard was at fault.

Bernard had been tasked with wiping down their station while Tim and Darla handled the dishes. Everything was going smoothly until Bernard had noticed a particularly stuck-on glob of chocolate. He poured on the elbow grease and took a step to the side, right where Darla had accidentally spilled dish soap. With a shriek, Bernard slipped backwards and crashed into the dish rack. Tim was fast enough to catch the dishes before they smashed on the floor, but Darla was knocked into the leftover flour and egg containers. Bernard made a desperate grab for the eggs but only succeeded in batting the basket sideways—launching them into another group’s perfectly clean cooking area. The flour went right into the sink where they’d left the water running.

It was like a nuke had gone off, a cloud of wet flour exploded out to coat all three teens and most of the surrounding area in a sticky paste. The instructor's shriek could probably be heard from the parking lot. "Mon Dieu! What have you done to my kitchen?!"

Bernard turned to his flour-covered friends with an apologetic grin. "Um... oops?"

Tim set aside the dishes in his hands, the only thing left unscathed, trying and failing to look stern. "This is why we can't have nice things."

"At least it wasn't me this time," Darla said cheerfully, looking like a ghost with her flour-whitened hair and stretched out on the floor where she’d landed.

Bernard wasn’t that surprised that their day trip ended with being kicked out of the lessons, only enough time to return their aprons, and left to sit on the front steps of the community center until Darla’s limo came to pick them up. “Well, that could have gone better.”

"Sorry," Tim and Darla said at the same time. They were self-aware enough to take credit for helping push the instructor to their breaking point.

"Nah, it's okay. The chaos is what I like most about spending time with you two." He leaned over to kiss Darla on the cheek. "Thanks for setting this all up, Dall."

"Hey," Tim grumbled, pulling on his sleeve.

Bernard laughed, turning to face his boyfriend. "And thank you too, boy wonder. I wouldn't have had such a great year without you in my life." The kiss he gave to Tim was on the lips, naturally.

"You're welcome, Bear." Tim smiled, with a touch of mischief. "Though, we aren't done yet."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a packet of white candles. "I snatched this from the pantry on the way out. Darla?"

She grinned, eyes glowing as she waved one hand over her outstretched palm. Red smoke circled until a familiar white dish appeared from thin air.

"You stole one of our dishes?" Bernard grinned. It sure did pay to be best friends with a witch in training, even if her magic was a little bit evil.

"Make a wish!" Darla demanded, setting the soufflé into Bernard's hands while Tim put in a candle. Darla snapped her fingers to light the wick.

Bernard looked between his best friends in the world and really couldn't think of anything else he would want.

So he blew out the candle and made a simple wish: to be with them again like this, next year.

[munson-blurbs]

@corrodedcoffinfest Day 13: Sex, Drugs, & Rock n Roll

Word Count: 677/Rating: M/Pairing: None/CW: drug use (marijuana), mentions of sex, moaning, general debauchery with the guys/Tags: Eddie Munson, Gareth, Grant, Jeff, Wayne Munson, competition

Divider credit to @silkholland

“Dude,” Gareth drawls, taking a long hit from the joint, “y’know what we should do?”

Grant laughs before his friend can even finish his sentence, plunging one hand into the bag of pretzels to his left. 

Eddie plucks the joint from Gareth, earning a scowl from Jeff who was next up in the rotation. “What’s up?”

Gareth grins. “We should record a song—”

“Already did that,” Jeff cuts in. 

“Shut the fuck up! Anyway,” Gareth takes an exaggerated breath, “we should, like, record a woman moaning and put it in the track. Like in Rocket Queen.”

Grant drops a pretzel. “You’re a fuckin’ genius!” He tries to clap Gareth on the back but misses, sending the two into a fit of giggles. 

“Yeah, a genius.” Eddie rolls his eyes. “Except for the fact that we’re not exactly drowning in moaning women.” He stretches, exposing a sliver of torso. “In fact, I’m pretty sure you’re all still virgins. The handy that Jeff got behind the Hideout doesn’t count.”

Jeff elbows him, but Eddie’s too high to notice. “Maybe we don’t need women,” Jeff muses. “Ed, you still got that tape recorder?”

Eddie’s brows shoot up. “Yeah. Somewhere around here.” He digs around under his bed until he finds it, blowing off the dust. 

Jeff presses the PLAY and RECORD buttons in unison. The cassette’s wheels spin. “Check, one, two,” he mumbles into the mic. 

And then he lets out one long, shrill moan. 

“What the fuck,” Gareth guffaws, “was that?”

Eddie yanks the recorder away from Jeff. “Someone’s gonna think we’re torturing puppies and call animal control.”

“Seriously, dude. What porn are you watching?” Grant adds. He takes the recorder from Eddie. “It’s gotta be sexy. Like this.”

He holds the microphone close to his mouth, breathing out moans in short bursts. After ten seconds of that, he glances around the room to gauge everyone’s reactions. 

“Well…” Eddie starts, taking another hit, “that was…less bad than Jeff’s.”

A triumphant grin stretches across Grant’s face. Eddie’s too stoned to elaborate that their other guitarist had set the bar in hell. 

Instead, he turns his attention to the drummer. “Gare? You willing to give it a shot?”

Grant snickers. “Should be easy for him considering he’s barely hit puberty.”

“That’s not what your mom said last night,” Gareth shoots back. Grabbing the mic, he lets out a series of what sound like pained yelps. 

Eddie scrambles for the tape recorder. “So that’s gonna be a hard pass from me,” he says with obviously feigned kindness, “but we’ll keep you in mind if we ever need an impression of someone being electrocuted.”

“Whatever.” Gareth crosses his arms over his chest. “Why don’t you give it a try, Sex God?”

“Just because he’s gotten laid doesn’t mean he’s made her moan,” Jeff points out, earning a high-five from Grant. 

Eddie flips them off. “Fuck all of you. I’ll have you know I’m a goddamn giver.” 

He double-checks that the cassette wheels are spinning, then indulges the guys in the most realistic moaning they’ve ever heard outside of Family Video’s adult section. 

“Oh my god! H-oh my god! Yes, yes, yes!”

“Boy, what the hell are you doing?”

Wayne Munson stands in the trailer’s entrance carrying two brown paper bags filled with groceries. 

Eddie’s cheeks turn bright red, sobriety infiltrating his brain. Long gone is his hazy high. “N-Nothing.” He drops the microphone. “Just messing around.”

“Sounds like a goddamn brothel in here,” Wayne grumbles, shoving Chef Boyardee cans into the pantry. 

“Wait.” Eddie forces himself to look at his uncle. “Like, did it actually sound good? Did I sound like a woman moaning?”

Wayne studies him with a look of sheer disappointment and disbelief. “I’m gonna go out to the truck and get the last bag,” he says slowly, “and when I come back, I want these numbskulls gone, and I want you to never ask me something like that again.”

“Got it.” Eddie nods, but the second Wayne leaves, he turns to his bandmates. 

“Looks like we have a winner, boys.”

--