#oh god do i. do i tag everyone here.

[flutteringfable]

new fav character spectrum except a lot more of them ended up on the bottom than i thought. some of these were just guesses bc i mostly only interact with the fandoms on tumblr where i can mostly curate my experience to just people that like these guys

love that my favorite medias range anywhere from a company made open world game like genshin to literally roblox regretevator. idk i just think its funny

edit: I CANT TAG EVERYONE LMFAO I HIT THE LIMIT

[megsdoodletag]

yes ok I have been asked about the updated codex let’s talk updated codex

So. Post Plague-Wars. Ultramar system. Guilliman and Yvraine have a strong alliance, and in completely and totally unrelated news have a daughter named Juno Vaeyncaria Guilliman.

MEANWHILE…

on the other side of the Imperium, the Emperor is given a Text-To-Speech Device. Now the original ITEHATTSD obviously happens prior to Plague Wars so while the basic framework is there (kitten exists, magnus is back, dorn and his Boy are there, etc.) it’s obviously a lil different. Through a series of convoluted events we don’t need to discuss at this point, Magnus accidentally pokes the timeline in a weird way and pops the dead primarchs back into existence. They remember everything just fine! They are just. no longer dead. and now in 42k.

This brings us to what I’m affectionately calling ‘2012 Avengers Tower Imperial Palace.’ All the known primarchs are active, though some are still running around 'lost-ish' in the warp. Most of the previously dead primarchs are ‘recovering’ in their former residencies alongside the TTS crew, seeing to what’s left of their legion and figuring out what the hell is going on with. whatever is happening in M42.

Horus in particular is in a weird spot. first, of all the returnees, he’s alone. Ferrus makes up with fulgrim pretty immediately, sang is permanently covered in various marines of his geneline, konrad’s having a Great Time Actually (we’ll get to that later). but nobody seems to like horus much, a position he’s never been in, and this includes his legion which is entirely under abaddon’s control and not going anywhere in the near future. so he does what any guy going through a midlife crisis does and gets himself a hobby.

See, two supposedly dead primarchs remain unaccounted for after Magnus’ spell, namely the two original Lost Primarchs. by logic this means they must still be alive, somewhere. everyone else is unbothered by this, as Malcador’s memory spell disallows any concentrated thought of the two, and even though the primarchs are aware they had more brothers, to their knowledge dad went out to meet with them and something Went Wrong 🤷🏻‍♀️ and then he came back and retired shortly thereafter. weird! oh well.

but horus was not just killed, he was Unmade. when he was reconstituted it was as though he was new, without the stain of chaos.

and free of malcador’s influence.

while ostensibly crashing on dad’s couch, Horus throws himself into finding out what he believes is the key to all of this, the thing that poisoned the imperium before even the Heresy, the original Deviation from the Plan: whatever actually happened to the two lost primarchs?

Ok it’s later now. Konrad Curze always believed in fate. He followed it dutifully into its darkest depths, to his own grisly death.

And then he came back! He never saw anything about that! He figures that, having lived out his fate to its completion, he’s now free of it entirely. Oh he still has visions, but he’s much more lax in interpreting them, and thinks himself above their dictates besides. So. He still likes flensing people and thinks fear makes a fine method of control and hes still got…issues…but he’s not quite as stuck and he's having a wonderful time about it. and he’s also hanging around the palace bc he’s also got very little contact with his legion, which is either scattered or under Sevatar and/or whichever NL prophet we're on now.

So he gets roped into fucking around in emps’ restricted history section with horus! yippee!

The two actually work really well as a buddy-cop kinda pair, with horus slowly repairing his relationships where he can while konrad trails him and learns how to be alive outside of the narrow scope of his futuresight. Magnus inevitably sticks his nose into things and gets to work undoing the mind-block on the rest of them. Alpharius gets involved because it turns out one of the lost legions might actually still exist. and even lion and leman join the hunt cause honestly they're really curious at this point.

Eventually the uncles drag their niece and her friends into the whole ordeal, in part because she happens to have a particularly strong psychic presence that attracts lost and dead marine souls in the warp. Like a cooler, named character version of the Legion of the Damned. Usefull when trying to gain accurate historical info.

oh yeah and emps gets off the throne at some point. he’s not bothering with the Mystery Gang because he’s too busy being one half of a political deadlock with guilliman, where it’s very clear gman does not actually trust him to lead the imperium anymore and is essentially running his own show off-leash from ultramar, but neither of them are remotely willing to like, discuss this. in any way. so instead they’re just stuck awkwardly across from each other, guilliman never offering control of the imperium back to his father and emps never reaching to take the regent position from him and i think if he stopped to think about it this is bc emps would be. a little nervous about resuming full command back from guilliman. because he’s not sure guilliman would give it to him. and he’s not sure he’s in a position to handle that. again. but emps is allergic to being emotionally competent so his brain skates over that thought, unable to confront it directly with any introspection, and instead he just. doesnt mention it! and guilliman doesnt mention it and emps sits in the wreckage of the dream he accidentally set on fire himself while his son methodically does the work to put it out and they won’t look at each other and its fine its all. fine.

and that’s the Updated Codex! 👍🏻 feel free to ask more

thanks to @wolf_feathers12 for the chance to give my ted talk, and tagging @thisuserissilly for lore posts (tm)

[deanofsam]

it just occurred to me that some of you might have missed seeing american football player joe burrow’s suit this past june during paris fashion week, and it is my personal opinion that everyone see these images at least once in their lifetime, especially those of us with a shared interest in slutty clothes on men (fictional or otherwise). so here they are.

[megamindsupremacy]

love the idea that stan, pre-realisation, would just put any “my brother-“ thoughts that popped up into the ‘shermie’ category into his head

my brother… the genius … always won the spelling bee… we were so close… i learnt to fight because i was uh. protecting my…. (much??) older brother? damn was he a wimp or something

stan, calling shermie up post everything: do you happen to remember like. a flying dinosaur from our childhood or is this another ‘wrong brother’ situation

shermie, who was very much not there: what.

aksdjfhsd yeah!! also I imagine there being a ton of angst potential because Stan remembers ("remembers" my ass, he doesn't remember shit) himself and Shermie as being fairly close as kids, because everything involving "my brother" is conflated with Shermie, until the Mystery Incident got him kicked out. But Shermie wasn't super close with either of his brothers because of the age difference, and also because I hc him as not being home very often and getting the hell outta dodge as soon as he was old enough. So poor Stan has an imagined closer brotherly dynamic with Shermie, who isn't maintaining this dynamic into adulthood because to him Stan is his younger brother who dropped off the face of the earth (sad) at age 17, popped up a few times in newspapers to get arrested and/or scam people, and then dropped off the face of the earth again at 27.

[bayetea]

seeing non-black people critique rick's portrayal of black characters is interesting sometimes. only like 30% of the critiques I see make any sense to me to be honest

[foreverwewait]

“the cameraman is invincible”

looks at click. looks down at files. looks at click again.

well no. but yes. but no. but yes

[smoosnoom]

corollary

“Okay,” Mike echoes. “So, I was – thinking. We should sleep together." Will, for some reason, still looks lost, but he looks cute – sweet, like that, pink cheeks and eyes wide and glossy and the slight furrow of his eyebrows like Mike has given him something outlandish. “I,” he starts, “don’t understand.”

Mike proposes a sleepover.

Unsurprisingly, no sleeping is done.

[scatterpatter]

What if I presented a whole complicated Megaman Classic AU except I didn't give a SHRED of context

Haha, just kidding!

... Unless?

No these aren't being presented in the order they were drawn in but they ARE presented in AU-timeline chronological order so like im at least a LITTLE kind with throwing these all at youse

[hauntingblue]

Gear 5 luffy's laugh is so contagious I just hear the drums and go insane how does this work. What did he do to me

[gifti3]

Okay i wrote this in record time for me. i just got the urge and boom here it is. I wanted to get this out fast so I didn't forget about it.

I called it a CEO AU but honestly its just an AU where MC works as Lucifer's assistant and is ready to wrap up this part of their life and move on to different work.

All the brothers are mentioned in this. And this can be whatever you want honestly. Platonic not so platonic. Maybe MC is dating one of them, maybe not. I kept it pretty vague!

MC is gender neutral.

_________________________

_________________________

"What is this?"

You push the envelope forward. "My letter of resignation."

Maybe it was a bit much handing it to him in person like this, but emailing just felt too cold. And yea he was your boss, but you considered Lucy a friend too and wanted to leave on the best note possible.

"I know you're busy but I wanted to let you know asap so we can plan accordingly."

Surprising to you, Lucifer seems slightly caught off guard. "Did you find new work?"

You nod with a smile. "Yep! It’s pay and benefits aren't as good but it's practically my dream job."

Lucifer observes you. It was obvious that working as his assistant was a lot of stress on you. Asmodeus mentioned your frustrations to him several times. But you always pulled through in the end. 

Did he overestimate you? No, overwork you?

"When do you leave?"

"2 weeks!"

-------

"They're literally going to the other side of the world you guys!"

“They’re what!?” Mammon responds, bewildered.

"They're moving to the other side of the world! A completely different country--this sucks!" Asmodeus lays his head down in his arms.

Unease fills the meeting room. This was new information to the rest of the brothers, including Lucifer. MC had never mentioned anything about moving and now an unwanted change had become much more unpleasant.  

-------

"Hey MC! Why didn't ya mention ya were moving to the other side of the world?" Mammon approaches from the meeting room, wasting no time.

"Ohhh... right, I forgot to mention that part to everyone. But it wasn't really that important honestly."

“What do ya mean it’s not important. It’s kind of a big deal!”

"....Okay yeah you're right, but it honestly slipped my mind. By the way, not on the other side of the world. Asmo likes to exaggerate, I swear. Either that or his geography could use some polishing."

You continue dropping random items from inside your desk into a box. You still had a week and half left but you wanted to take all your personal non-work stuff home to avoid forgetting anything. You were honestly surprised by how much unnecessary crap had found its way into the desk. It was a stark difference compared to your first couple of months working here.

When you first started, it sucked honestly. If it wasn't for the amazing pay you would have quit fairly quick. 

The first several months were rough, but with time you started getting used to working for the overbearing perfectionist that was Lucifer. Things started to feel routine, you could access possible issues before they happened. And Lucifer’s brothers coming in and out of this building stopped being an annoyance and began to be something to look forward to. You made friends with each and every one of them. Then even Lucifer eventually came around. And before you knew it had been 4 years.

You always thought about moving on to new work but would forget about it and go back to the usual routine. But recently, you were starting to feel content--no resigned. Like "I guess I could stay here forever…" resigned. And it scared you! So you immediately started job searching more seriously and your months of work paid off.

But I'm still gonna miss this place.

Next, Asmo is out of the room. He walks straight for you and wraps you in a tight hug. "MC don't leave us please!"

"I must--AH you're squeezing me too hard!"

He loosens his hold. "Sorry."

You pat his arm.

“Aren't ya gonna miss me--us? Whatever new people ya meet couldn't measure up to the Great Mammom!”

"That’s definitely true, but I need to spread my wings and fly you guys. Hmm…that sounded better in my head."

You notice Leviathan standing off to the side listening so you give him a smile. 

"Levi, why are you standing over there?"

He jumps but makes his way over from your prompting.

"S-So you really found your dream job. It sucks you're leaving but maybe it's a good thing too…"

You nod. "It's new and a little scary, but just consider it me starting a new arc in life."

"And honestly if you guys really want to talk to me, then keep in touch. You literally all have my number."

Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to help much for cheering up Levi or the other two.

Fortunately though, Satan appears before the silence becomes unbearable.

"So you're finally escaping Lucifer MC?”

"Ha! I guess you could put it that way..."

Asmo crosses his arms, his frown deepening. "Please don't let him overhear that."

Satan shows what he's hiding behind his back. "I'll miss your company but I'd like to send you off on the right foot so I brought you a couple of items."

He hands you the gift bag.

"If this isn't a book, I'll be shocked," you say.

You peep inside and realize there's multiple things.

A hardback book from a series you and Satan are currently reading (of course), a neck pillow, and a kitty eye mask.

"Oh wait there's something else."

You dig in and pull out a bracelet. But not just any bracelet. A very limited edition one. It was official merch for one of your favorite series, but you couldn't afford it at the time when it was released.

"What the heck, how'd you find this? This came out years ago!"

"Lots of online searching, and thanks to Levi and Asmo we found a somewhat reasonable price to all pitch in for."

You put the bracelet on. 

“And in such a short time too…Im.never taking this off!” 

You grin. “Well…now I gotta hug you all!”

Before he responds you're crushing Satan, managing to fluster him. You then pull (a blushing) Levi and then Asmo in for a hug, the latter eagerly returning it. 

“No way ya guys are making me look bad,” Mammon says.

"Get in on the collab next time!" Asmo quips.

“Don't worry Mammon, I'll give you a hug later.”

“What? I didn't say anything about a hug…”

“So you don't want one. Got it.”

“Hold on, wait a second…”

You smirk and shake your head. “Okay help me move my stuff you guys so we have a reason to keep talking.”

-------

"Is Belphie still ignoring me?"

Beel nods. "Sorry MC. I think he just needs more time to process."

The other day after leaving the meeting room the youngest made a beeline for the elevator. He didn't even look your way.

"Ah he wounds me..."

"I'll talk to him. Maybe eating out together would help clear the air?"

“Oo, you, me and Belphie. Let's do it!”

Beel smiles that way you love and you give him a sudden hug. It couldn’t be helped, you had a soft spot for the two youngest brothers.”

“Beel, I’m gonna miss you so much!”

He returns the hug. "Me too. I wish you didn’t have to leave, but what makes you happy is most important."

You pull back to look at his face. “I swear you're way more mature than some of your older brothers.”

-------

As your last day gets closer and closer, the brothers (6 out of 7 at least) accept your impending departure. And along with that came endless gifts. It was like Satan triggered a competition to see who could do better. And it looked like you'd have to spend extra money on moving all this extra stuff that had been dumped on you.

Especially after that shopping spree Asmo took you on.

Start your new life with a new wardrobe MC!

Even Belphie had gotten over his initial shock after your dinner with him and Beel and gifted you several items. 

Please make sure to answer mine and Beel’s messages right away.

Don't worry I won't miss any of you or your brother's texts!

Who's talking about those others?

You chuckle at the memory. Belphie was too much sometimes.

You shake your head and sniffle. 

….Oh god. 

You wouldn't see them in person like this anymore! These moments with them. They would be far and few between once you started your new job.

And for some reason while you're surrounded by half packed boxes in your home, it’s finally hitting you.

Your phone pings and you wipe your eyes.

A text from Lucifer.

That was the last person you expected. He hasn't really been talking to you much outside of work since you gave him your resignation, and even then it was purely professional. It made you feel bad. Like your relationship had regressed.

So you quickly respond.

L: Did you already schedule transportation to the airport?

M: of course 👍 don’t wanna wait last minute

L: Make sure you double check the dates too.

M: lucy are you gonna miss me? :3c

If you didn’t bring it up, he might not say it out right.

L: You're so troublesome.

L: But yes, I will miss you.

L: And I honestly don't understand why you're leaving.

You stare at the messages. How were you supposed to respond to that?

M: i have to. it's what i want to do with my life…

L: Okay. Make sure you're on time tomorrow.

That's it? 

You let out an annoyed sigh.

-----

You're in Lucifer's office first thing in the morning. He looks up with you with a raised eyebrow when you barge in.

You drag a seat directly in front of his desk so he’s forced to look at you. "We are handling this right now. I want to leave here with no loose ends"

"What is there to handle exactly? Youre leaving this job in 3 days to start your new one."

"Lucifer, you're obviously upset at me and I want you to be happy for me....like everyone else."

"I'm not like everyone else."

"Obviously, everyone is different. You're all different. That's not what I meant..."

You take a deep breath, lean forward and rest your arms on his desk. "Be vulnerable with me this one time. I know you're going to miss me but I feel like that's not enough for you to be so cold towards me like this..." 

He’s quiet.

"Please Lucy?"

"...I don't want you to leave. The idea that I won't get to see you easily bothers me."

He looks away

"And I feel like I'm the reason you're leaving."

Oh.

“I'm so sorry, I know sometimes I joke around with your brothers but Lucifer it's not actually you. Work like this has always been stressful for me. It's always been. And I just happened to find where my limit was in this particular job.”

“I love you and all your brothers but my final goal was to always aim for work that would be easier on me mentally in a place where it was enough to sustain me. I just got too used to being here.”

"You handle every situation so calmly though. You're always on top of everything

"Heh my acting skills are just that good! But you're starting to understand I hope?"  

He crosses his arms. “I can’t be happy about you leaving MC.”

Your brows furrow.

“But I suppose I can support you going for what you really want.”

“You know what…I’ll take it!” You rest your head on your arms.

He smirks. “Now get out, I'm busy. We can talk more afterwards.”

[ajdrawshq]

i can almost guarantee ive said it before but. he would thrive in a zero escape game

[infernaltenor]

been losing my mind reading hsr posts online again so you get a jade analysis 👍

yes i KNOW evil woman. we're not going down that path rn. i know shes morally dubious and all shades of suspicious and works for the fucking ipc. i KNOW.

i'm here because i believe she has been misattributed like crazy.

a) the aventurine relationship. we already know this one. any good analysis on them will tell you clearly that aventurine made both the bet and the deal. what happens after is between two adults. (and yes, i'll give points that jade is a manipulative bastard, but so is aventurine. he works for the same fucking company. they do the same assignments.) anyway, i'm not really in the mood to rehash jade and aventurine's misinterpreted relationship beyond this: aventurine made the choice to make a deal with jade and start working for the ipc. in fact he wanted to meet with diamond, but didn't, which is a fascinating little tidbit. i digress. it's easy to say "jade manipulated aventurine into working as a stoneheart" but reanalyzing the scene will make it clear that she distinctly both didn't manipulate him (into that, anyway), and made a direct deal with his gamble. honestly, they both have similar strategies. hey, i wonder if this will come up later 🤔

b) the topaz relationship. i'm sorry, but there is absolutely no way jade singlehandedly made sure topaz didn't see any atrocities committed by the ipc in her entire life. are you fucking insane? topaz grew up on an ipc controlled planet, likely surrounded by ipc propaganda the whole time. along with this, topaz has nine other colleagues in the stonehearts (eight if you don't count jade) and more than likely hundreds or thousands of coworkers. this cannot fall solely on jade's shoulders as to why topaz doesn't fucking know the scope of the ipc. this falls onto "topaz grew up on a planet controlled by them, and more importantly, a planet surviving by the ipc." you can even contrast this with aventurine, who grew up on a planet with ipc agents; but unlike topaz, aventurine's planet had a vastly different result, including the massacre of his people. both of these are facts that have very little to do with jade. her having introduced and directly hired topaz and aventurine into the stonehearts is a different fucking issue, don't go confusing them. you will not survive the winter. i will kill you. ok. that wasn't necessary. i apologize.

c) so why is jade the way that she is? well, i'm delving into theory territory here but i have two main strands. one, all of the stonehearts have similar stories, something i cannot confirm without more of them, but i am of the opinion that all of them distinctly are "something that they don't want to be." two, i think i know who jade was before she was jade. ok let's get into this.

the stonehearts being "something that they don't want to be." well, this is obvious with aventurine, as he is actively working for the ipc. there's a lot to be attributed with his self destruct personality and tendency to gamble everything ever, but i'm really not an aventurine fan so i'm not here to overanalyze him. plus, i'm confident it's been said before (side note: if you're interested in a decent aventurine analysis that looks at misinformation, i found this one pretty good). topaz is another pretty obvious idea, seen as everyone is confident she doesn't know the scope of the ipc's atrocities. i cannot fact check this but i vaguely remember her introductory event, so i'll concede that point. topaz distinctly doesn't know what she's getting into, meaning that i'm characterizing her as "a good person, naive, hasn't had her world shattered" or something along those lines. and now you ask the question: but tenor, what about jade? she CAN'T be like that, haven't you seen her manipulate the shit out of people?

well. now i give you who i think jade WAS. in jade's character stories, there's a jewelry merchant from a failing system who goes to the bonajade exchange. interestingly, jade isn't mentioned at all in her first character story, as it focuses on the merchant. even stranger, the deal ends with the jewelry merchant being contractually obligated to work for the ipc, for life (this section ends with "give your everything to the ipc" <- paraphrased, but still). essentially, for the hope that her system will be saved, the merchant gives her everything. the second story is where jade shows up. i believe the original owner of the bonajade exchange would have been diamond. i also believe that jade didn't originally have the snake. as jade only shows up in her second character story, it's my opinion that jade is that jewelry merchant. her system is, incidentally, destroyed, as it hadn't survived, something that is also mentioned in her character stories. this wouldn't matter if it didn't have something to do with her. another trait that i feel doesn't line up with popular interpretations is, well, her lightcone. "yet hope is priceless," being the name and the image/description describes her (implied) common visits/donations to an orphanage. she is actively making sure the orphanage stays afloat. jade distinctly makes deals with adults and, more importantly, gives them directly what the owe, yet doesn't discourage them from making deals with her. i believe she doesn't expand this to children, especially not the ones she's fucking donating to the orphanage for. more so, jade's lightcone name, "yet hope is priceless," makes no fucking sense with her character, someone who typically puts a price on everything. the only way it makes sense is if she had hope at one point or another. if she was the jewelry merchant, bargaining to save her home (this also lines up, imo, with jade's heavy focus on jewelry motifs. i believe she has that because she used to sell it; which would also make sense why she has "a planet" as a bracelet, though i'm of the opinion that that's a metaphor).

ok so how does that connect with the first point. weeeeeeeell, if we're going off of "jade is the jewelry merchant, and the jewelry merchant made a deal to work for the ipc to save her home system," this is very distinctly a deal that didn't work. i do think that jade inherited the bonajade exchange and the snake from someone else. i also think that jade originally had hopes similar to say, aventurine or topaz, when she joined. jade, in my opinion, is a character who joined originally to help people ("yet hope is priceless"), yet lost herself in her work, culminating in the manipulative bastard we see now. i don't think this end point was where she wanted to be. given the fact that, if this is true, all three stonehearts we've seen in game occupy similar stories, i wouldn't be surprised if this pattern keeps up. it's literally the classic "live long enough to see yourself become the villain." topaz and aventurine get so victimized in analyses that people do not take the time to compare them with jade, and yet all three are more similar than people want to admit.

ok well, that was a lot of theory writing. to tell you the truth, i think this is way more interesting than simply writing jade off as "completely evil woman," which i'm not sorry about. she's an interesting character! it's just that she owns her employment to the ipc in a vastly different way to topaz and aventurine, meaning that she's easier to look at as distinctly evil. not to mention, her theming being very "snake in the garden of eden." but i digress. this was a lot more than what i intended to write LMAO if you read this far i'm kissing you on the mouth or whatever.

[seth-burroughs]

I will not stay silenced any longer. I really cannot relate to the badass girlboss Yomi truthers crowd. I'm sorry but constantly being so obsessed with proving your prowess and supposed superiority via [gestures at every single time he appeared in the game only to act like an insecure manchild who has to continuously reassert his authority he feels entitled to with continuos self-praise, lashing out with petty insults, violence or even pettier wackier violence] are not the acts of someone who is at all secure and confident in their abilities and themself,

[squidkidnerd]

Man, with how vague Splatoon is about its lore/plot points sometimes, I’m very wary of people who claim there is One Definitive Interpretation of this that or the other thing. Like no, just because the game uses they/them pronouns for Captain 3 doesn't mean giving them any other pronouns is misgendering. Like, unless you have something from actual canon (ie. the games themselves or dev interviews) to back it up, then I don't think it's fair to expect people to Universally Agree With You or Else. Going "This is how I see things, I really don't like it when people see it this other way" is fine but "This is how I see things, I am RIGHT and anyone who thinks otherwise is WRONG" is not. People have different opinions. You are not obligated to agree with them, but at the same time, they are not obligated to agree with you.

[izzy-b-hands]

You ever have a day where you feel like you're doing everything wrong, even when you're like. just doing things you normally do. And are alone, so like the only person i could in theory upset/piss off/etc right now is me myself, and Yet the feeling persists

Yeaaaaah. That's today's vibe for me apparently lmao