#really the only NECESSARY one is fake/pretend relationship. like do you or do you not want 46k words of widofjord fake marriage | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

fang-and-feather · 2 years ago

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Dancing between Emotions

Fandom: Ayakashi: Romance Reborn

Rating: General

Categories: F/M

Pairing: Toichiro/OC (fake date, pre/developing relationship). Small mentions of Shizuki/Futaba

Words: 1920

Prompt(s): Being the MC/LI's fake date for a Christmas party/ball, from the "’tis the season for love" content creation challenge hosted by @xxsycamore and @voltage-vixen

Summary: In need of a date for a party, Toichiro asks Rinka to be his pretend date for the night. Their relationship has been changing and they notice new things about each other the longer she's been working for him. That doesn't mean they get along. Or do they?

Toichiro watched the girl sitting by his aide with interest.

The first time he met Rinka at a party, he didn’t know what to make of her. Way too perceptive for his taste, but her attempts to play back with him were mildly entertaining, especially for a girl of high society.

The second time it was a whole different Rinka, clothes that made people double take her gender, good fighting skills for a human and an almost childish humor.

The third time she was more serious, defensive in an almost aggressive way, but kind underneath. Not exactly fun to interact with, but they were there for businesses, anyway.

And business had led him to what seemed to be a more true Rinka. Beneath the tough and alert facade, she had a softer core that he again found mildly entertaining. She was still way too perceptive, but he knew how to find the small cracks on her armor not to make their working together too boring.

That was mostly why he had invited her as his fake date to this Christmas party. Her reaction to the actual invitation had already been the most entertaining he’d ever seen her.

This wasn’t the change he’d been expecting, though.

Usually calm and brave, Rinka looked startled. Body tense, eyes that darted around inquietly, occasionally frowning at the window, hands on her lap crumpling her dress, to the point she could have torn a hole in it. Sitting across from her friend, Futaba looked worried, but anytime she looked ready to say something, the other girl seemed to change her mind. And they had barely started the ride.

“If you didn’t like the dress, you should have told me.”

That Rinka was hard to get a rise of, he knew well, but absolutely no reaction was unexpected. It looked like she didn’t even hear him.

“Toichiro…” Futaba started, probably trying to tell him off teasing her friend, but Shizuki, on the seat next to his girlfriend, squeezed her hand lightly.

“Mistress Futaba.” Shizuki only called her and shook his head. She looked hesitant, but nodded with a sigh.

Toichiro observed the couple’s exchange. It wasn’t worth interacting with them more than was necessary, either. He actually made a little more effort to be on Shizuki’s good side when the weather was already cold. The last thing he needed during winter was a Snow Spirit angry with him.

So he turned back to Rinka and placed a hand over hers, only to halt her movements before she actually tore a hole in the dress and to get her attention. He wasn’t expecting her to nearly jump off her seat.

“What… what do you think you’re doing?” Wide blue eyes stared at him with a mix of fear, confusion, and anger.

“Oh, dear, are you that afraid of me?”

“O-of you…” her voice trembled, and she looked away, cheeks tinged pink, “of course not. Don’t make me laugh.” Anger returned to her voice, but not to her face. This was the most expressive reaction he had ever gotten from her.

Rinka was returning to normal but, at the same time, being a little more open.

“Really? Because I thought that more plausible than you being this flushed by my touch.”

Toichiro took one of her hands in his, interlacing their fingers when she tried to pull away.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Rinka hissed, but the blush didn’t leave her cheeks and her eyes still flitted around when he looked at her.

“You are my date. It is natural, is it not?”

“I di-didn’t think this fake date started before we arrived at the party.”

She had stuttered again, and this time not of fear or surprise. Her being so vulnerable was both unsettling and interesting.

Rinka looked over at Futaba and Shizuki on the other side, but the two were too engrossed in their conversation with each other to pay attention to them. On purpose, Toichiro was certain. Not that he was paying enough attention to what they were saying.

“You agreed to be my date for the night. It is already night, isn’t it?”

Her eyes narrowed in thought and quickly widened in realization. The flush of her cheeks became darker and Rinka scowled at him in a poor attempt to keep her composure.

“Lords. You’re so needy.” She grumbled. “Fine, you can hold my hand.” She sighed, but it sounded more like a sigh of relief than annoyance, turning back to the window to avoid his gaze, face still red.

Since the ride was almost over, Toichiro let her be for the remainder of it, amused by how, once in a while, she would squeeze his hand.

Rinka wondered if she was fantasying too much, thinking Toichiro had distracted her not only for his own amusement but also because he noticed her fear.

It was unlikely from the Toichiro she thought she knew but, after a little incident that had her seeing the kitsune in his environment, she had began to wonder if his masks, as much as they were part of his nature, weren’t a defense mechanism as well.

Besides him being a compulsive liar, maybe they weren’t that different.

The party itself wasn’t as bad as Rinka expected. It was as boring as expected, but being by Toichiro’s side, he interacted with the other aristocrats, leaving her to only convey holiday wishes and other messages from her grandmother.

Pretending to be dating wasn’t as awkward, either. Most people only made light comments, all of them nice, but it was clear not everyone was as satisfied as their words would lead other people to believe. Only one man, the host of the party, had made a couple of awkward questions about their relationship, but she -and it would seem that Toichiro too - had been prepared for them.

She was pretty sure that man was the reason Toichiro insisted on having a date for the night.

Also, Toichiro’s usual teasing hadn’t been as annoying.

Maybe she’d gotten used to it. Or maybe she was still shaken from the freaking carriage ride, because she caught herself almost showing signs of being unsettled by him a couple of times.

By the time they had probably spoken to everyone at least once, Rinka was already thinking Toichiro wasn’t so bad and could even be fun, if he wasn’t constant and likely accidentally - in most cases because he could have guessed some things about her, but not everything - triggering her defense mode.

Odd mood for her to be in. Maybe it was Christmas. This time of the year usually made her happier and even, sometimes, more sentimental, and despite this being the last place she wanted to be, the atmosphere was still quite festive, with beautiful, traditional western decoration.

She parted from Toichiro, who was still talking to some people, with the intent of getting a drink, despite Shizuki’s insistence on attending to her. If it wasn’t something for his master, he should enjoy his time with his girlfriend.

Her break was short-lived, though, because Toichiro was soon by her side.

“You’re not running away from me, are you?”

These kinds of jokes got tiring fast. Why was he so obsessed with her suddenly?

“Running away from humans.” Not a lie, although she didn’t mind a break from Toichiro either. “Do you need me for something?”

“For a dance.” The usual smirk didn’t leave his face, and Rinka considered if it was a joke or not.

“I’m not great at dancing with people. You wouldn’t want me to embarrass you, right?”

Rinka also meant it as a joke. She couldn’t care less. But it was true she had never danced with another person before. All of her grandmother’s attempts to get someone to teach her had been swiftly dodged so far, and she wouldn’t regret it.

“Couples dance at parties like this. I’m sure not everyone is convinced of our partnership, so we have to act accordingly.”

Sounded like the truth, but his face told her otherwise. Yet, it was logical enough, and she was aware not everyone had readily accepted their lie.

What could go wrong, anyway?

“Fine. One dance, then you find whatever excuse you need and let me go home.”

“Deal.” He offered her a hand, and she took it, letting him guide her to where other couples were already dancing.

Rinka was surprised that Toichiro agreed so swiftly, but maybe he actually expected her to do something that would turn into amusement for him. Or maybe he wanted to see himself free of her, too.

Neither was unlikely and she would be fine with either.

But when he stopped, facing her and put one hand on her waist, pulling her closer, her body stiffened and suddenly all of her knowledge and usual grace and swiftness escaped the grasps of her brain.

Rinka wasn’t used to physical contact that she hadn’t initiated. It was small and over her clothes, but she could feel his heat. And the rest of his body was so close, any movement would make her brush against him. She started to feel trapped again, but it didn’t come with the usual fight response she’d felt during the carriage ride.

“Rinka!”

The girl almost jumped and ran away when Toichiro called her in a low, amused tone, so close to her ear. And she hadn’t even noticed him move.

Biting her bottom lip, she prayed no one had noticed her spacing out and held onto him properly. That wouldn’t help.

Toichiro started guiding her into the dance. At least it was easy not to step into someone when you were aware of their every movement.

“You have gone such a fine shade of scarlet. Are you unwell!”

He could at least stop joking for five minutes! Or was he trying to distract her again? Well, it wasn’t helping this time.

“Yes. There is too much movement of too many people. It feels stuffing.”

Toichiro chuckled, no doubt at some face she was making. Why was he having such an effect on her that night?

No. It wasn’t just that night. It had started since she had hunted down a particular thief to somewhere close to his village and the two had worked together into something different from what he wanted of her.

“Interesting. You don’t react when I try to get you to, but when I react on your own, when I don’t?”

Rinka couldn’t deny it without lying. She hated that he was right.

Was it just because she wasn’t used to being so close to a man for longer than a simple hug? Was it the little alcohol from earlier?

No. She wouldn’t have reacted like this to another man. In fact, she would have already left if it was with anyone but a friend, and a friend wouldn’t have made her feel so conscious of him but, at the same time, not prompted her to run away.

In fact, she considered running away, took a deep breath and tried to think of an excuse, but her mind had turned inward and gotten in the way of the instincts guiding her, and Rinka lost her footing. It would have been a disaster if Toichiro wasn’t holding her.

“So, you really did fall for me?”

“Dance is over. Let’s just go home.”

Toichiro was amused despite her anger and unlikely to drop the ‘dating’ act until she was dropped at her house.

It would be a long carriage ride back.

If it seems like I am using the same OC in different fandoms, it is because they're only slight different versions of the same character.

I was also going to elaborate more on the actual party, but it is my first time actually writing Toichiro and he is exhausting, but I thought he fit the prompt nicely and I think I wrote too much given these circunstances and don't know how well I got him... I would need much more time to write more and better of him and I still want to finish at least one more fic for this challenge.

#’tis the season for love #'tis the season for fluff #’tis the season for love content creation challenge #ayakashi romance reborn #voltage otome #ayakashi toichiro #feather's writing #ayakashi koi meguri #ayakoi #fanfiction #arr fanfic #voltage fanfic

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dorireads · 1 year ago

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The Unhoneymooners by Christina Lauren || Book Review

Star Review: 3/5⭐

Tropes: Enemies to Lovers, Fake Dating, Forced Proximity

I read this book initially because of booktok, which I've come to learn is never a good idea. Also, book recommendations on Instagram, lol. Since reading is so subjective, it's best to find people who love the same books that you love for the same reasons, so that you can get recommendations that you'll probably love too. This is a prime example.

The Unhoneymooners follows Olive and Ethan. Olive's sister and Ethan's brother are married, but at the wedding everyone gets super sick (huge vomit warning, it was crazy asl) and so they're not able to go on their honeymoon. Coincidentally, Olive and Ethan are the only ones at the wedding not to get sick, and so they take their sibling's honeymoon for them. The only downsides are that they've hated each other for years, and have to pretend to be newlyweds.

I took a chance on this book because I genuinely dislike the whole "sister's boyfriend's brother" thing. Since the two side characters were married, it technically made the main pairing siblings-in-law. This made me super uncomfortable for obvious reasons, but I decided to overlook it.

Honestly, it was a pretty good romance for what I do remember. This was another pretty unmemorable book, but unlike my last review, I actually can remember some of the "good parts". The characters together made a super cute pair. Aside from the weird ass massage scene, I remember enjoying it. Though it's far from my favorite compared to other romances. The biggest thing is that, while the writing is coherent and cohesive in its structure, the development of subplots and such is a bit lacking.

I do recommend this book, but I'll talk a bit more about the plot under the cut. Spoiler warning!

Honestly I really liked the way that the relationship developed over the story, when they were swimming together holding hands even when they were far enough away from others so that they didn't have to. It felt special, like it was just for them.

I genuinely really hated that scene in the closet (bathroom?) on the boat. If you know, you know. That shit was weird.

When they had their big falling out, it didn't feel like the miscommunication trope at all but it did feel like Ethan was being unreasonable. I understand taking your sibling's side, but when you have blatant evidence that your brother's been lying to you, I feel like it's just willfully being ignorant at that point and being angry that it was even being alleged.

The whole breakup just felt unnecessary and bored me a bit, it felt like the separation period was necessary but it didn't have to be on a negative note just because your siblings are fighting.

I'm glad that in the end he came around and apologized, but I'm not super happy with what happened in Olive's career. I feel like she was only fired for realism, it didn't really add anything to the story otherwise.

That's all, thanks!

#book review #the unhoneymooners #bookblr #reading tumblr #reading #romance #romance books #romance novels #book rec #book recommendations

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voxiiferous · 2 years ago

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Vox, Hellaina, and the realization that you should really, really run.

...Or that it's too late to do so.

Under the cut is an expanded drabble from the hc in @a-hazbin-spider and I's thread!

Decades ago , Vox decided he would only ever bring Hellaina to the Porn Studios when it is absolutely necessary. Sometimes, you just acknowledge that your lover and your PA despise each others guts and move on. Sadly, that is not always an option. Like now.

The disadvantage of he and Valentino having actual business dealings alongside personal ones, is that it means both contract renewal season with him, and the other rings, and as Hellaina has become his go-to liaison the last few months with Lust, it seems sensible to bring her.

"C'mon sugartits, you're even more anal about this than Voxxy,"

And there go all his chances of this going peacefully. The bartender looks at him sympathetically. "Pardon me," he says. Apparently expecting them to play nice for less than an hour was too much to ask. He looks between the two of them, no bloodshed, no weapons, Val looks smug and Hellaina looks... deceptively not murderous. That's a good place to start.

He cuts into the conversation, with an easy grin. "Maybe we should reschedule this for another day? Nothing needs to be on paper for a few more weeks yet." And before then, he'll make sure to brush up on all the information Hellaina's gotten, so he doesn't have to worry about these two in the same room again.

"Fine with me," she says, smile tight, and Val waves his cigarette dismissively.

It's a week later when it all goes wrong.

His phone chimes, the specific notification that signals Valentino's arrival at the tower. "I'm sure we can wrap up here," he says to Hellaina, and she looks up from her tablet with a clearly fake look of innocence. "Oh no, what did you do?"

The placid expression melts away, replaced by the sharp look that he expects. She turns the tablet towards him, security feeds pulled up. Val entering the building and a bucket of... something pouring over him. Val entering the elevator and feathers being added as another bucket pours. There's no sound, but he doesn't need it to recognize the obscenities Val is saying, even more so when the elevator opens on the sixth floor, and one of his accountants looks at Valentino and the elevator, a puddle of... "what is that?"

"Sugar, honey, feathers, a few other things."

The accountant steps away, clearly deciding to take the next elevator, and the door closes.

"Tarred and feathered?"

"I'm making him into a sugary tit." She answers; shameless, smug.

Feathers... ah, the bird. He should have guessed that the comment from last week wouldn't go unrewarded. And if she were anyone else, he knows she'd have Hell to pay, but he also knows that her opinion of her position is summed up in the opinion that she gets most of the benefits of being an Overlord, and none of the disadvantages.

The door to his penthouse opens, and he watches as Vark leaps towards the... dripping moth, lapping hungrily, and happily at the sodden and feathery coat.

"Who are you expecting to clean this?"

She blinks. "You think I'd plan my revenge without that in mind? It's already being dealt with."

The final bucket is less of a bucket, so much as the shower-head dropping it on Valentino before the water starts.

Twenty minutes later, he and Hellaina watch from the window as Valentino walks right back out, and a knock on the door sounds. "Come in,"

One of the new special effects techs walks in, wringing his hands together. "Mr. Vox, sir, your uh. Mr. Valentino, sir, he wants me to tell you that quote, 'we're through Voxxy,'".

He counts to 5 in his head. "Thank you, you can go." The messenger leaves without another word, clearly glad to be dismissed rather than torn to shred.

He looks at Hellaina through the corner of his screen. "Are you even going to pretend to be upset at my collapsed relationship?"

"Do you want me to be?"

"It might be nice," He considers for a moment, shaking his head. "But no, it wouldn't be genuine anyway."

Well, at least it hadn't ended with his screen broken again.

#Hellaina is taller than Vox!#they're also the evil version of mlm/wlw solidarity #*personnel file (hc)#Val knows that Vox would choose Hellaina if he had to make a choice #Hellaina knows it too

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epicmusic42 · 1 year ago

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Obi-wan finally addresses the questions from reporters about his relationship with Senator Bail Organa when they start insinuating that the man is cheating on his wife. The couple might insist it's unnecessary, but he can read the stress it's causing them in their eyes—no Force necessary.

"As dear and close of friends as the Organas are," he assures the reporters, "there isn't anything untoward happening. And even if there was, Breha would certainly be the one instigating it." The implication that he's a visitor to the couple's bed gives the press their gossip, but helps prevent rumourmongering.

A bit of petty revenge against his own love, ensures that they won't. Unbecoming of a jedi, perhaps, but she won't mind.

"Really, the Organas have been a comfort over the years. They certainly aren't anything more than friends. I'm afraid that if you're looking for my torrid affair, you won't have any luck. Satine and I were... shockingly mature about everything when I consider how young we were."

Of course that just has the reporters more eager.

"I was her guard during the Mandalorian Civil War. Well, one of them, anyways. My Master and I were sent to guard her family. Of course, then there was her father's assassination practically before we had arrived. We hadn't even been introduced"

Sadly, he isn't dramatising their introduction.

"My Master and I were able to rescue Satine and Aajanath before anything happened to them. We spent over a year on the run, and well, we fell in love." He doesn't have to fake the wistful look, he would have stayed for her, for aliit.

"We did discuss. But I would have had to give up being a jedi and she could never ask that of me. She insisted that I go back, finish my training. I insisted we stay in contact, that we would discuss things when I was a Knight. Only I ended up with Anakin practically before I was knighted. And do you know what she did?"

He laughs, inviting the reporters in on the joke even if they likely don't understand it.

"She sent me a birikad! A carrying harness for an infant," he makes sure to clarify. "As though Anakin wasn't already half my height and ready to start preparing for his verd’goten if he was mandalorian. And she insisted on meeting him. Fussed over him and insisted on teaching him mando'a at least."

He shakes his head, pretending to hide a melancholic smile.

"If I'm honest, we were always long distance, but we did live as though we were married. As best we could anyways. I really don't know what would have happened to anakin if she hadn't helped teach what she could. It really did help him find balance."

He waits. There are two ways this could go. It depends on how much they latch onto his last comment or remember that he did NOT mention Bo-Katan.

"Master Kenobi," one reporter asks, eyes bright and attention sly in the Force, "the late Duchess raised her nephew. However, his parentage was never clarified and he does bear a strong resemblance to you..."

That would be because Korkie was adopted, also Stewjoni, and likely from the same clan. He remembered when Aajanath had adopted the boy because Satine had been furious.

Aajanath shouldn't have even left home with their health, and they'd come home half-dead with a toddler bundled in their spare shirt. And then Aajanath had declared that they'd adopted the child, who'd already lost one family in a bloodbath. Aajanath, who would be lucky to survive the year—and that was with a cloned lung.

Satine had raged for hours at her sibling's idiocy for claiming a child who had already lost their parents, only to march away and leave them with an aunt who was at constant risk of assassination.

...she had also had to yell at him that he was a jedi then.

"Korkie isn't my son. We likely do share a blood relation, but I am quite certain that he's Aajanath's. Besides, the timing doesn't work out. He's a couple years too young to be mine. The next time I saw Satine would have been about the time he was born."

He pauses, as though he's considering. "I wouldn't put it past her. To hide a child from me, that is. I went back to finish my training and if I knew we had a child I would have returned to Mandalore without hesitation. ...I wouldn't expect her to continue to hide it after I took anakin on."

"Well," he adds, like it's an afterthought, "not unless they had already left home. I could see her keeping it quiet for their safety, then."

It is not, he reflects later, actually a bit a revenge. Satine is dead and she hid their relationship more to protect him than herself. If he had decided to leave for their aliit then she would have happily told people.

They might have implied to certain factions that she stole him. Let certain clan heads think that she had sent him back because she wanted him to be trained, not because she refused to let him simply give up his dreams for her. But that was politics.

If she was alive, she would have commed him and yelled at him for not warning her. Lamented the fact that she was going to have to explain to half her parliament that, no, she could not, in fact, simply marry him. And then she would have held a press conference.

She probably would have simply announced that yes, she did hide the existence of their daughter from him for years. Would have poked fun at him for how many times she needed to remind him that he was a jedi, simply because her aliit, because their aliit was struggling and his vows to the Order meant he could not swear to be there or even go when he was able to. She probably would have no qualms about outright telling the galaxy that, while she told him when it became apparent that he couldn't simply leave the Order, when in her eyes he adopted a jedi child, she maintained the lie to the rest of the world.

It was well known, among mandalorians, at least, that the Kryze family was still strongly kalevalan. It was also well known that Satine and Aajanath's sure had come from Wild Space and no one was really sure what species they were.

The results had been obvious enough. Satine and Aajanath had gestated for nearly three years before hatching. To the immense relief of their Clan, House, and all of Kalevala.

Given the political upheaval of the time, no one had questioned the idea that her parents didn't share the news that they were expecting again. And Clan Kryze was loyal. as soon as Satine had realized she was pregnant, they had figured a plan for how the egg had been keep safe and cared for in case anyone was asked.

Bo-Katan had not, thankfully, taken nearly as long to gestate as her mother did. She had hatched a month earlier than the normal ten months that kalevalans gestated for. (Right on time for a stewjoni child to be born Satine was reassured).

However, Bo-Katan was willful. And stubborn. And wanted to be a soldier not a politician. Which was gine, but did jot negate the need for a politician's education given her position. ...or who hired most soldiers to be honest.

She had run away to live with her "uncle" Pre at 8 years old. Just old enough to start training for her verd’goten.

Pre had been willing, and it solved Satine’s issue of extremists who refused to see accept that self-defense was necessary objecting to her training her daughter. So she told him no live fire until after Bo passes, and trusted the man who'd been helping her hold Mandalore together for nearly a decade.

And so the first time Obi-wan met their daughter had been when Death Watch marched on Sundari.

Satine would absolutely have had some petty revenge in how she told the story. Obi-wan actually hadn't. Though he had decided to allow himself some going in.

Well, he supposes he ought to make sure the temple guards know to let Bo in if she does show up then. If she's anything like him and Satine, pettiness would have actually calmed her down some.

Hopefully, she won't arrive during a saber class.

Cooper woke me up two hours before I needed to be awake and I can’t get back to sleep, so here’s 4am blogging:

What if the reason that Anakin and Padme were able to hide in plain sight for so long is that it’s really common for Jedi to have friendships that seem unusually close and intimate to outsiders?

Like. We actually do have some canon evidence that it’s normal for a Jedi to be besties with a major political figure! Obi-Wan and Bail, Qui-Gon and Valorum–wasn’t Yoda pals with the Wookie leader?

Jedi having Epic Friendships/brothers-in-arms-type relationships regardless of venue is probably their default cultural portrayal, in-universe. “Jedi are just super intense about that stuff, it’s the Force or something. It doesn’t mean they want to fuck you.”

…This means that in the good end AU where Palpatine explodes and Anakin’s secrets come out there’s a massive cultural whiplash to the effect of, “does that mean they were all fucking in secret?!”

Yoda and Chief Tarfful have to publicly deny any allegations of a sexual relationship.

#obitine #writing #star wars

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retvenkos · 3 years ago

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fake dating...

tw: language A/N: i really was a clown when i said i’d make these short asdfghjkjhgfdfghjkjhgf. also, i have only seen up to season 3 episode 4, so my characterizations are from then.

OH NO, STEVE HARRINGTON HAS ROPED YOU INTO A FAKE DATING SITUATION...

— you maintained from the beginning that it was a stupid idea.

— steve harrington, having outgrown his glory days of highschool, wanted - no, needed - to show the world (*cough* nancy wheeler *cough*) that he was still relevant. that he was still a catch. that he was still the same steve, even if he worked at stupid scoops ahoy and wore this stupid sailor hat.

— it was important, alright?

and okay, so maybe it had something to do with him seeing nancy and jonathan together. and maybe it had something to do with robin’s relentless taunting. and yeah - maybe, beyond that - it had something to do with him basing his self worth off of his relationships with others, or whatever the hell his intrusive thoughts at 2 am were about, but that didn’t change the fact that this - all of this - was necessary.

— and sure, maybe to others there were a thousand ways to go about this, but to steve, there was truly only one thing he could do.

— and there’s only a few people he could really approach about this, right?

— well, naturally, that’s where you come in.

all things considered, you’re the perfect candidate. neighbor, childhood best friend, not popular per se but a common face in hawkins, fellow starcourt employee...

truly, there is no better choice.

— but boy are you hard to convince.

>> “date you?”

>> “ah - that’s where you’re wrong. see, we’re just gonna ~pretend~.”

>> “pretend. to date you?”

(and steve can see he’s losing this debate.... fast.)

>> “just for a month?”

>> "steve, i still don't see how being unavailable will make you more sought after. it doesn’t make sense. and besides, isn’t nancy dating jonathan?"

>> "well, first of all, this isn’t about nancy, so... so write that down. and second, that's the whole point."

>> "oh?"

>> "girls always want what they can't have, (y/n). it's why they like... dads and older men."

(and for a long moment you just stand there, blinking at him, half wanting to bleach your ears, and half just,,,,,,, baffled that such a sentence would ever even leave his lips.)

>> "no."

>> "wh— what do you mean 'no'?"

>> "just no."

>> "(y/n)!!!!"

— but eventually you agree. maybe it’s because he promises there’ll be free ice cream in it for you. maybe it’s because you’re bored, and having something to do over the summer would be a nice change of pace. or maybe it’s because of something deeper, still - a part of you that wants to know what it would be like to date steve harrington - a part of you that wants to indulge the fantasy.

don’t think about that last one, though. it’s just a thought that keeps you up at 2 am.

— and so it begins.

— he ropes you into it one friday night, after your respective shifts at work, and so the first thing you decide to do is hang out that night to map out how it all began. you grab some fast food, hang out in his living room, and make a night of it. i mean, backstory is key to any lie, isn’t it? being on the same page felt like an important first step.

>> “alright, so: i asked you out... i don’t know, during your shift at scoops? you hit me with one of those corny pick up lines, and i just couldn’t resist.”

>> “we’ll keep the pick up lines - that’s good - but i have to be the one to ask you out. otherwise, i’ll look like a dweeb.”

>> “you mean fake dating isn’t a dweeb move?”

>> “shut up.”

— and so the story is as follows: two weeks ago, steve hit you with some pick up lines and asked you out. you said yes, and one date became two, and two became three, and after four dates, steve asked you to make it official. tonight. at work.

— after that, you figured it was really just a matter of telling your friends the story. and, of course, being seen together.

— but no, steve was determined to get this right. he had to make sure you both had complementary pet names for each other, that he sent you home with at least two jackets for you to wear around the mall, and that you weren’t going to be nervous every time he complimented you or held your hand.

— you jokingly asked him, then, if he was planning on kissing you now, too, so that ~it would be ~natural~ in the moment.

(you were not expecting him to say yes.)

>> “i mean, you were the one to say we’ve been on four dates already. i’m pretty sure i would have kissed you by now.”

(and at that, you’re more flustered than you ought to be. and shit, you’re not entirely sure you ever got over your crush on him when you were fifteen, and perhaps you should have considered that sooner—)

>>“so... so what? you’re just going to kiss me? right now?”

>> “if you ever stop talking.”

(and you can see it in his smile, then, that dangerous bit of affection that could fan the sparks in your chest into outright flames, if you let it. this wasn’t going to end well. you could tell. or, at least, it wouldn’t end the way you planned.)

— you try to forget about the way his lips felt against yours.

— he offered to walk you home and you let him. in that regard, there wasn’t much to be done. he calls you “sweetheart” when he drops you off and you roll your eyes good-naturedly, but you can’t help the way it lingers in your mind.

>> “see you tomorrow, casanova.”

— the next day you’re off to the races, and the first person you two meet is dustin. he’s oddly okay with it? he claims that he knew it was coming, and that’s enough to make the both of you share a glance.

— during the weekend, you see a few other people, and they don’t seem too taken aback by it. you walk around town holding steve’s hand and wearing his jackets, and no one bats an eye.

it feels easy.... too easy. something had to give.

— but then it’s time for work at the starcourt, and lo and behold, things get complicated. somehow, you two have to convince robin that you are so-totally, actually, truthfully, not-a-practical-joke, dating.

— she can smell your lies, and she is not impressed.

>> “i don’t know how he got you wrapped up in all this, (y/n), but if you’re going to pretend to date someone, at least choose someone that’s not an idiot.”

>> “robin, i already told you, we’re actually dating.”

>> “and i already told you, i don’t believe you.”

>> “robin.”

>> “you can’t convince me, y/n.”

>> “well, we are dating.”

>> “just.... wHy???”

>> “...because he asked me...?”

(and oh, no, that’s a stupid response. you can see it written all over her face. and steve is fidgeting beside you, and you know it will be a bad look if he saves you, now.)

>> “because he asked me........ and he was an idiot about it - wearing that stupid uniform, and stuttering over his stupid pick up lines, and... and he made me laugh... harder than i’ve ever laughed before... and i wanna feel like that forever.”

(and the truth of it’s more raw than you were expecting, but it was convincing. it’s dangerous, how truthful it is. but it is, and it’s hard to take it back, now.)

>> “fine.... but you could do way better, (y/n).”

>> “yeah, whatever.”

(and steve is taken off guard, blinking at nothing. he knew this was going to be hard, pretending to date someone he once had a crush on - feelings that never quite left - but he didn’t quite realize the toll.)

— but you were walking away, and his silence could just be interpreted as being lovesick.

— it goes on for at least two weeks before it barely starts to work. maybe he gets one or two smiles from the other side of the counter, but he barely recognizes them. robin is the one to mention them, but he just shrugs it off. he finds himself thinking instead about the dates he’s planning for the two of you, instead - certainly, taking you out is for show, but he takes note of what you enjoy and what you don’t, and he finds that pleasing you is more important than anything else.

— meanwhile, you’re reconciling with the fact that steve seems more genuine now, than he used to, but it’s still not confirmed to be real. the longer this goes on, the less certain you are that any of this could ever exist outside of the strange limbo you’ve created, where everything means nothing, but nothing could possibly mean something.

— and steve can see that uncertainty it in you, sometimes. he hates it, but he doesn’t know what to do with it. he’s dug both of your graves.

— because really, in the end, it was all for nancy - or, at least, that’s how it started out. it was just to show her he could move on. that he didn’t need her as much as he truly did. this entire act was just to show her that he was whole. that she didn’t leave a void he couldn’t fix.

— but it’s more complicated than that, now. whatever awkward, residual-and-romantic feelings were between you when it all began grew in size, and it’s near impossible to look away. but can this - whatever this is - stand on its own? without the lie? because you really did mend what nancy left bleeding, and you found a place of your own in his heart - big and warm and all-encompassing.

(if you couldn’t let this continue - if you found his love wasn’t palatable when it was no longer a lie - steve wasn’t sure he could handle it.)

— in the end, you somehow come across nancy and jonathan in your travels. nancy’s surprised, that’s all, and it feels a little anticlimactic that for all of it being for her, she doesn’t really react. she just moves on.

— and it’s not infuriating or upsetting... it just is.

>> “...am i the only one who thought that seeing nancy was going to be a bigger deal than it was?”

>> “oh, not even close.”

>> “i thought she’d at least be confused!”

>> “she seemed more preoccupied with this stupid scoops uniform!”

(and the both of you laugh it off, almost forgetting the way something would have to give, eventually.)

— and one day, a week or so later, it does.

— one day your closing up the store you work at in the mall (lol, it’s probably hot dog on a stick), and steve is hanging out with you while you wipe down the counters one last time before leaving. you’re tired, and there’s no one else about, and for some reason you look something akin to angelic, in all of the neon lights. he can’t help but stare at you, even when you look at him and huff, rolling your eyes.

it rolls off of his tongue before he can process what he’s saying

>> “do you want to go on a date with me?”

>> and you look at him, creasing your brow the way you always do. steve has the urge to kiss your forehead - to smooth out the wrinkle. “we have one on friday, don’t we?”

>> “well, yeah, but uhh...” and his throat is dry for some reason, and he can’t seem to get the words out properly. “like... a real date? i mean, they’re all technically real, but without the pretenses? just you and me. a date. without the whole...”

>> “...fake dating?” and maybe you’re slow to respond, but your breath is caught in your chest, and you can’t seem to move, much less breathe.

>> “yeah. yeah. just... a date. and we can go to the diner or something, and do all those corny first date things, and when i kiss you at the end of the night, you’ll know it not pretend or whatever fake bullshit i’ve been hiding behind for weeks now.”

>> and it will be a joke, for the rest of whatever came after, that you didn’t know what to say - that steve had been waxing poetic about you for weeks now, but he still caught you by surprise. “a date?”

>> “yeah, a real one.”

>> “with me?”

>> and he can’t help but scoff nervously. “jesus, (y/n), you aren’t making this easy for me. yes, you. i—”

(but he doesn’t get to finish, because you cut him off with a kiss. it’s short, and catches him more by surprise than anything, but when you pull away and whisper, “yes, we’ll go on a date,” he pulls you in for another.)

AND FLUFF ENSUES.

taglist: @starkeysslut // add yourself to the taglist here!

#stranger things #steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington headcanons #steve harrington imagine #headcanon #fake dating #reader insert #3.5k celebration!

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ahundredtimesover · 2 years ago

Text

The Light of Dead Stars (05) | KSJ

Pairing: Seokjin x (f.) Reader; side Seokjin x (f.) OC; side Reader x Namjoon

Genre/Tags: arranged marriage, fake romance, boss/workmate aus; angst, drama, fluff, smut; slow burn

Chapter Warnings: Foul language, alcohol consumption; deceit; talks of past toxic relationships (infidelity, emotional abuse); Jin gets a kitchen injury, mentions of blood (18+)

Chapter Word count: 10.6k

Series Masterlist | Muse Moodboard | Setting Moodboard

Status: Complete

Series summary: Your unconventional arranged marriage with your company’s President, Kim Seokjin, is necessary, practical, and simple - both your families benefit, and he minds his own business and so do you. But when a slip-up causes his parents to believe that you and he are in love, you have no choice but to pretend you are, especially with the trip to France for his brother’s wedding coming up. When you get back to Seoul, things start to change, and Seokjin is faced with the most difficult decision he has to make.

A/N: It’s their last few days in France, the last chapter before things get even messier. Thank you to those who’ve been tuning in! I hope the complications and emotional roller coaster will be worth it.

You wake up the morning after the wedding feeling like you’ve woken up from a really good dream. The messages of your family and best friends complimenting how good you looked and that you and Jin really looked like a couple - but not without the occasional snide remark - remind you that last night really did happen - you wore a stunning dress, ate the most delicious things you’ve ever had, danced to Park Hyo Shin’s angelic voice, and shared a kiss with your husband like you both meant it.

Everything was amazing except for that last part, really, not so much because you didn’t like it but exactly for how much you did. And now you’re trying to recall how it was before you cared this much, before you decided you liked his attention, before you realized you liked having him close, and you’ll go back to being that person.

You’ll do what you used to do and not let them mean much. This is where you’re good at - convincing yourself that everything is okay. It’s how you cope and ironically, how you choose yourself. Otherwise, it’s just gonna be a heartbreak that you’ll have a hard time getting over, and you don’t know if there’ll be another person through and at the end of it all, reminding you that you’re still someone that another one could love.

You shake away all the thoughts. It’s a new day, and you’ll just savor the remaining week you have left in this beautiful country.

Turning to your side, you’re surprised that Jin is still asleep. He’s breathing deeply, looking peaceful and handsome as always, and you can only imagine just how tired he is for not being up early as usual. He doesn’t flinch even when you get off the bed and not-so-quietly fix up to head to the kitchen.

There are still some leftovers on the counter, and you initially planned on just having them for breakfast when Geonhoo and Ji-hoo arrive with their mom, whining for some pancakes.

“I’m not good at making those. Maybe someone here knows how,” Sejeong says.

“Oh, I do!” You offer. “I love making pancakes. What do you two angels want?”

“Nutella!”

“Chocolates!”

“Strawberry!”

“Peanut butter!”

The little ones yell more things and Sejeong tries to control them and say you can only make them one type. They pout at you and you laugh at how they know exactly to get what they want.

“Okay, what about a platter? I can make different ones and you can choose what you want to eat,” you say.

They nod happily and you get to work. One of the cooks helps out since Jin’s other family members have yet to come down for breakfast, but you say you’ll be the one to make it for the kids and for you and Jin.

You talk with Sejeong while Geonhoo and Ji-hoo interject and ask what ingredient you’re putting or what you’re doing, and you indulge them. You come up with a platter for them with the flavors they asked for - Nutella-filled, buttermilk, chocolate chip, with sides of peanut butter and various types of fruits.

You prepare a less sweet version for you and Jin with his caramel syrup on the side.

“Hmm, smells like a happy morning,” you hear his gruff yet excited voice echo through the small kitchen. “Did you make pancakes?”

“The kids wanted some,” you smile. “And here’s our platter.”

His face lights up and he immediately serves himself then puts some on your plate after. You all decide to eat them outside, as Hyo-seop and Jin’s parents arrive as well.

It’s a fairly laid-back morning, with the weather nice and cool enough to enjoy breakfast on the covered deck. Taehyung and Hyun-a arrive shortly after for a quick meal and a goodbye, as they head to the airport for their South American honeymoon for the next 2 weeks.

You and Jin choose a spot in one of the many areas in the property with a good view to work for the rest of the morning. While you were both advised to completely detach from work, neither of you could, knowing there would be more stress waiting for you back home if you don’t get some things done at least little by little.

“You were so tired last night, huh?” You tell him in between sending one email to reading another. “It took a while for you to wake up.”

“Yeah, it was probably all the effort into making Tae stop crying,” Jin chuckles. “But yeah, at least that’s over, although the one in Seoul would be way more tiring for sure.”

“Ah, well we enjoyed last night, I’m sure we’ll enjoy that, too, just differently,” you say.

Jin merely hums, not wanting to think about the celebration in Seoul, knowing that Seri would be in attendance and he already knows you’re going to be cautious there unlike you are here.

The morning is a breeze, with Jin reminding you of your plans this afternoon. You’re to head to Grasse for another one of your trips to town. Known as the perfume capital, it’s where his parents scheduled you for a perfume-making session that you’re really excited about, choosing not to think about how much they spent for an exclusive tour.

Jin decides to drive this time, and you initially bicker about your terrible navigation skills but he’s an overall chill guy who rarely cracks under pressure - as far as you know, at least - and he manages somehow.

The town isn’t far off so you’re there in no time, surprised to find someone who’ll be guiding you around. She leads you to a cozy restaurant that offers the best delicacies, and you and Jin are in heaven once again. You make your way around little streets and into a museum before heading to the first of three perfumeries.

You’re amused with the perfume-making process, the history of it, and the different scents they come up with. You expected Jin's parents to have pre-purchased you only a perfume or two, considering that they paid for your entire trip, but of course, they had to do more.

You left the first perfumery with a set of 12 different travel perfumes and the second one with a package including hand creams, colognes, and soaps. In the last one, you and Jin chose a base scent and were given complementing perfumes in matching antique bottles with your names engraved on them; you’re told that his grandparents had these made especially for you.

You look at the one given to you in its beautiful box, not wanting to even use or touch it.

“Holy crap, Jin. This is amazing,” you whisper. “I mean, it’s so thoughtful and just so beautiful. Goodness, your family treats me so well.”

“Yeah, well, they like you, that’s why,” he says, as he backs up the car to head up north and see the stunning scenery of a river and some waterfalls before the sun sets.

“They like my parents,” you correct.

“Yeah, exactly. They like that you’re like them - hardworking, intelligent, principled, courteous, warm,” he says. “And I agree.”

“Hmm. What would they think about liar, I wonder.”

“Yah. Let’s not go there. Let’s focus on the good stuff, alright?” He nudges your arm. “I mean, all that’s better than what your family says about me - unfaithful, cheater, no backbone, weak,” Jin chuckles, recalling some of the things that your father had said when your parents found out about Seri that fateful day at your house.

The words stung - they’re his in-laws, he reminds himself - but he wouldn’t argue against them; he knows it’s true. Not the cheater part though, at least, not how they think. He’s definitely unfaithful to your arrangement, that’s for sure, and definitely being unfair to the woman he’s left back home. It may not have been verbalized by either of you to not care about each other but it felt like a given; you’re the one who suggested getting divorced to get out of this, after all. You said it was to supposedly free him from you and he got on with the plan, mostly because he couldn’t figure out another way. And well, he’s dumb, like his brother had said multiple times. So now he’s here - confused, and more lost than ever.

“I’m still sorry about that,” you look at him apologetically. “My dad gets unhinged sometimes.”

“I’d be angry, too, don’t worry. You deserve more than what you’re getting from me,” he says; his voice is quite somber and it’s unfamiliar to you.

“I beg to differ,” you respond. “You’re treating me much better than anyone ever has, and that says a lot.”

“Right, I forgot your standards in men are so low,” he jokes.

“Correction - my standards in people. You experience the worst sometimes and so the bare minimum becomes like a gift to you,” you say, sullenly this time.

Jin doesn’t say anything; he just lets the wind from the open window serve as your background as he slows down to the viewing point. He doesn’t know how badly you had it, but for you to say what you did, he can’t imagine what you went through.

The view of the waterfalls and canyons of Gorges du Loup is breathtaking. If you were a little more adventurous, you’d do all the fun stuff like Jin suggested, but shopping in markets and eating in as many restaurants as you can are always your priorities and his, too, so you both stick to just marveling at the views and taking photos for keeps.

The drive back is surprisingly quiet, as you both engage in occasional small conversations that die down but neither of you seem to care. Your mind is busy being at peace, and with how the week has been, that’s quite a reprieve.

Jin pulls into the driveway and helps you with your things, instructing Emile to leave them on the table outside your bedroom. You both head to the living room where the rest of his family are, who are excited to see you back.

“Darlings, did you enjoy our little surprise?” His grandmother asks, hugging you both.

“Little? Grandmother, that was too special to just be little. ___ here almost had a heart attack,” Jin chuckles, sitting on the couch and wrestling with Geonhoo and Ji-hoo.

Your cheeks heat up when his parents and his grandparents laugh.

“Ah, get used to it,” Sejeong says. “My family likes to spend their money like that.”

You internally laugh at her bluntness but no one seems to be offended. You suppose that his family acknowledges their wealth and accepts what comes with it, including jokes and digs even from their own.

“Oh, darling. That’s nothing,” his grandmother resumes. “It’s the least we could do, but I hope you don’t think we’re buying you or anything. I owe my life to your father, and I’ll never forget what he’s done for my family. I’m just glad I get to welcome you into ours and make you feel like you belong, because you do.”

There’s only kindness in her eyes, and from what you know of their family, they’re kinder to strangers than they are to their own relatives, and you suppose that makes sense. Your father worked for the company for years and only resigned to protect your family; he’s said mostly good things about them.

Which again, makes it all the worse for you. You nod and profusely thank them again, saying that you want to save the perfumes for special occasions only, prompting them to say they’ll keep organizing events so you could use them.

“Anyway, what’s for dinner?” Jin asks.

“We got really good pork from the market, maybe we’ll have them baked,” his mother replies. “Is there anything else you want?”

“Hmm, I’m actually thinking of making kalguksu,” Jin says. “I’m in the mood for noodles and that’s ___’s favorite.”

“Oh, wonderful,” she chirps. “I miss you making that for us!”

“You good with that?” He asks you, and you nod excitedly. He’s only made that for you once and he was drunk.

“Is Uncle Jjan cooking?!” Ji-hoo asks. “I want to watch!”

Jin nods and takes her hand; Geonhoo follows and takes yours. Both kids are seated on the bar stools while you stand next to your husband as he makes the food. You prep the clams while he starts slicing the vegetables, making enough for the whole family because he knows that the little ones like their soup and vegetables, too.

You’re walking towards the fridge when you lose your balance and almost slip, yelping in fear and then sighing in relief after almost knocking one of the expensive-looking bowls off the counter. Just then, Geonhoo starts yelling.

“Blood, Uncle Jjan, blood!”

“What? Where?” Jin turns to you, worried if you scratched yourself or something.

“On your hand!” Ji-hoo cries. “Uncle Jjan, don’t die!”

That’s when Jin looks at his finger and realizes that it hurts. He cut himself after being preoccupied by you, thinking that you’d hurt yourself earlier and that’s why your scream distracted him.

You run to him immediately, pulling his hand under running water and calling Emile to get the first aid kit, while also telling the kids that their Uncle Jjan isn’t gonna die.

Jin only winces as the water hits the shallow cut of his fingertip.

“Ah, it’s not that bad, it’s just a graze I think,” he says.

“It’s not deep but it’s not just a graze, Jin. What were you thinking? You slice vegetables all the time,” you reprimand him.

“I don’t know, ask the knife that cut me, ___,” he says sarcastically.

“Then what was your finger doing there!” You bite back, putting ointment and a bandaid and then putting a glove over his hand.

“This is your fault. You had to scream and I got distracted.”

“I almost broke your expensive bowl!”

“___, no one would care,” he deadpans.

“I would!” You exclaim, face ridden with panic.

He internally gushes at how disturbed you seem. “Yah, you’re worried about me, huh?” He smirks.

“I’m worried about my kalguksu, Jin. You teased me and now I want it,” you pout, and if you weren’t so adorable, he’d be fighting you some more.

“I’ll continue this, don’t worry. You’ll get your noodles,” he smiles.

“Are you crazy? No. Sit down. I can make this, just not as good as you,” you say, pushing him to sit on the bar stool. “Just taste the broth for me.”

“Fine, go ahead,” he says, following you.

You get another piece of zucchini and start slicing. Ji-hoo asks Jin if he’s okay and he assures her that it’s just a small cut and it will go away tomorrow.

“Then ask Auntie ___ to kiss it so it goes away now!” She demands. “Daddy kisses Mommy’s lips when she says it hurts and then she becomes okay again!”

You and Jin laugh at Sejeong’s moves, knowing it’s something to tease her with.

“Do it, Auntie! Kiss Uncle Jjan’s finger!” Geonhoo urges you this time.

You turn to Jin who’s smiling with his squishy bread cheeks on display and his gloved finger now in front of your face.

“You’re so annoying,” you mumble, kissing his finger, prompting the little ones to clap.

“Gosh, kids these days,” you chuckle.

“They know what’s up,” Jin follows. “But hey, it feels better now,” he winks.

You continue on with the noodles, engaging the little rascals with you so they won’t ask you to do any more embarrassing things with your husband. Jin tastes and teases you to keep feeding him until everything is prepared.

Dinner takes place; the soup is delicious and the roasted pork is divine. You also enjoy some pies from a nearby bakery for dessert.

You’re now seated on your balcony with a cup of tea, marveling at the night sky. It’s particularly bright today, with the full moon looking beautiful as it shines over the hills. It’s one of your favorite things to do, reminding you that whoever it is you’re missing, they’re not always too far away.

“The sky’s pretty tonight,” Jin says, sitting next to you as he looks up.

“It’s been pretty every night,” you say. “The moon’s just brighter and there are more stars out. I like gazing at it.”

“I know. You’ve been doing it every night before you go to bed.”

You hum. Of course he’d notice.

“Namjoon, uh…”

“The guy you’re waiting for?”

You turn to him with a nod, wondering how he guessed.

“Aside from Jimin and Jungkook, you’ve never mentioned any other guy’s names, and I know those two are your best friends,” Jin clarifies.

“Right, uh. Namjoon’s my best friend, too. But it’s different since I actually like him.”

Like. Jin overthinks the word. It seems more, but it isn’t love, is it?

“He and I would go to the Mangwon Hangang Park when the sky was bright and just watch the stars,” you recall. “When we were in college and I was having a hard time, he would always say that looking at the sky should remind me that my struggles can never be bigger than the universe, and I was always going to surpass whatever it was I was going through.”

“A wise man,” Jin notes.

“He is,” you smile. “And I did, I surpassed them, and he helped a lot, you know? It almost felt like he was my night sky because he always made me feel better, only to realize that he could make me feel that way because his dreams were bigger than us.”

It was a winter night, and you remember it clearly, because that was also the night he said goodbye.

“Before he left, he told me to look at the sky whenever I’m missing him because we’d always be looking at the same one and that should give me comfort.”

“Does it?” Jin asks, choosing not to dwell on the thought that you miss the man every night.

“Most nights,” you nod. “I haven’t seen him for 2 years since he’s always traveling.”

“What about now?”

“Somehow. He’s in France, actually. He took the train from Italy when he found out I was here.”

Oh.

“Does he know about us?” Jin wonders, curious as to how honest you are to the man you want about the man you’re living with.

“Yeah, about everything, actually. We write to each other. He’s quite romantic that way; he wants me to see his handwriting because somehow that has meaning in it, too,” you share. “I wrote to him when my parents told me about the arrangement, and writing it all then clarified things for me, you know? That's why I decided to do it. I wrote about you and Seri, too, and then my parents finding out, my brother being upset with me… and again, things just made more sense when I wrote them, which I never would’ve done if he and I didn't send each other letters.”

Jin nods, appeased that you had someone like Namjoon to talk with about all that you were going through, which he only really knows a fraction of. But this man is in the same country as you, only miles away and within reach after how many years. Jin wonders if something’s changed for you since coming here, and if it’s something you’re going to tell Namjoon.

“Are you going to see him?”

“Can I?” You turn to Jin, and he sees the longing in your eyes that’s both soft and sad at the same time.

“Why are you asking permission? Of course, you can.”

“Would you come to Cannes with me? He’s there right now. Your family might suspect me if I go by myself.”

“Alright, I’ll be your alibi, then,” Jin smiles.

It’s sincere. He sees how much the man means to you, and you’ve been apart for so long.

“Thank you,” you say, placing your hand on top of his. “This means a lot to me.”

Jin finds a parking spot near one of the buildings. He turns to you who’s looking visibly nervous. You were quiet this morning, merely nibbling your pastries during breakfast, and you barely said anything during the entire ride to Cannes, choosing instead to look at the window.

So many times, he wanted to hold your hand and tell you that it’s gonna be okay, but he didn’t feel like it was the right time. For some reason, he was also scared you were going to turn him away.

So he settles for a nudge on your shoulder and a soft, reassuring smile.

“You’re seeing him after a long time. That’s good, right?”

“Yeah, it should. I just… it’s different seeing his face on a screen and actually seeing it for real, you know? And being able to touch him, hold him… I… don’t want him to be disappointed,” you mumble.

“And why would he be?”

“I’ve changed a lot since the last time he saw me. I don’t know if he’ll notice.”

Jin can try to come up with a dozen possible meanings to your words but he supposes he wouldn’t know what they mean. You’re an honest and open person, but a lot of times he finds himself not knowing you at all, and this is one of those times. What about you changed that Namjoon would be disappointed in?

“I’m sure it’ll be fine, ___,” he tries to assure. “So you go there and you meet him.”

“Uh, I need you to guide me there, Jin. I can’t even pronounce the name of the cafe.”

“Ah,” he chuckles, warming at the little smile you give him. “Okay.”

You and Jin start walking towards a plaza, with him leading the way. You’re too nervous to pay attention to him, how he’s more distant and quiet, but it’s perhaps just him giving you space.

“It’s the one with the white awning,” he says, motioning to the little cafe. “Do you see him?”

“Not yet, but he said he reserved a table for us outside. I should just give his name.”

“Alright, you can go ahead and I’ll leave when he arrives, okay? And then I’ll stay at a cafe, too, and get some work done. Let me know when you’re finished and I can get you. Take all the time you need, ___.”

“You’ll be okay?”

He answers a beat late, but he nods.

You smile and start walking towards the cafe and Jin watches from afar, wanting to make sure you’re safe, even if you’re a grown woman who knows what she’s doing and who she’s meeting. It’s a husband thing, though, making sure his wife is okay, he reminds himself.

He sees you talk to a server and you’re led to one of the tables. You’re constantly checking your phone, and he notices you’re still nervous. He wants to go over to you and stop you from biting your lip, but you look up before he could make up his mind. You stand up and smile at the man approaching you, one who engulfs you in a tight embrace.

Namjoon is a tall and built man. He’s in a plain shirt and blue jeans, with sun kissed skin and nice, silver-dyed hair. He has his arms secured tightly around your waist while yours are around his neck; neither one of you seems to want to let go.

You finally do, and he kisses your forehead. Your eyes close and a smile tugs at your lips. You look comfortable, safe, happy.

Jin doesn’t know why he’s still standing there, watching you finally take your seat and hold the man’s hand as you both start laughing and talking. There’s a tightening in his chest that he’s never felt before, a completely new experience, as every time you laughed and smiled always made him do the same.

Not today, though. Today, he’s confused. Today, he hates himself. Today, he wishes he was the reason why your eyes crinkle and why your head lolls back; he doesn’t think he’s ever seen you like that.

Apparently, he’s been standing there for quite a while, as it registers to him that you’re waving and asking Namjoon to do the same. You mumble something and the man turns around and waves, his smile worth thousands, he can tell; it’s sweet and comforting. Jin waves and gives a thumbs up. You signal that you’re fine and that you’ll call, and that’s his signal to leave, and he does.

He finds a nice little nook cafe that allows him to read and respond to emails. He sips his hot chocolate, although he wishes it was whiskey instead. He stays there for hours, constantly checking his phone to see if you’ve called or messaged, but you haven’t. He’s never hated waiting like he does now.

Thinking that it would take you the whole afternoon to catch up with Namjoon, Jin exits the cafe after 3 hours. He ponders on going to a nearby market, but thinks you’d hate him if he went without you. He debates if he should go to the luxury stores strip, but decides against it; he’s always enjoyed how you tried to guess the price of the expensive items on display so that is another no.

So he decides to go to a park instead; plain enough, there’s not much you’d miss.

His phone rings, and he almost drops it with how fast he takes it from his pocket, only to see it’s just his grandmother.

He waits for another hour before you call, and so he starts walking to one of the strips that you say you’re waiting at.

“Hey,” you wave. “Sorry I took too long.”

“Oh, not at all,” he responds, walking next to you. “I expected you to be with him until the evening.”

“And what were you supposed to do until then?” You arch an eyebrow.

“Uh, work, I guess? Or go around, too, see what’s out here,” he shrugs.

“You’ll probably just eat and I’ll miss out on it.”

“That, too, but I didn’t want to discover new things and not have you there with me.”

You grin, turning on one of the streets towards a beach, thinking that the ocean would be a nice distraction this late afternoon.

“We just headed to a museum for a quick visit after the cafe. Namjoon has a meeting with an art curator so he had to leave,” you say after a while.

“So he’s an artist?”

“He’s a lot of things,” you chuckle. “He’s an art enthusiast and writes about art events and different pieces. He likes to travel and writes about it, too. He’s been doing online consulting since he took up marketing and finance in college. He can work from anywhere, really, so he’s just been going from one place to another. We were just lucky that he’s a couple of hours-train away and he could see me.”

Jin hums, following your slow pace. “Is he well?”

“He’s happy,” you give a smile, with a tinge of sadness in it, like you’re sad for yourself. “He has his own time, he gets to see many beautiful places and things and that’s what he’s always wanted, you know? Someone as great as him deserves that kind of peace, that kind of happiness.”

“And where does that leave you?” Jin asks, hoping it doesn’t come out as too harsh, or even too intrusive.

“Where I’ve been the past years, really,” you chuckle, feeling the irony of it all - seeing the man you’ve been waiting on, thousands of miles from home, and turning him down when he asked you to run away with him.

“Namjoon was supposed to take a job in London after college, but he stayed because of me,” you share, taking a seat on one of the benches overlooking the beach now. “He and I met in sophomore year after I broke up with my cheating ex-boyfriend, and Joon really helped me move on, you know? To the point of me liking him but he had a girlfriend that time and so I moved on again with someone else, and then Joon and his girl broke up.”

“Timing sucks sometimes, doesn’t it?” Jin says, as he thinks of his ex-girlfriend, too, and how that relationship ended. It’s a shitty thing that the universe does to people when all they want to do is love and be loved.

“The guy I was with was great at the start. He took me to different places and he was supportive,” you continue. “But then he started getting unnecessarily jealous, keeping me from seeing Namjoon and Jungkook. And then it just kept getting worse, you know? He’d be controlling, angry, lying about where he’d be, threatening when I’d question him, and then he’d be incredibly sweet after a fight, like one time he convinced my boss to allow me to take a short-notice leave and then he flew me to Bali. And I just kept making excuses for him,” you sigh, remembering the feeling of being trapped in your relationship. “I felt like it was all I could do. Because every time I had the courage to leave, he would do something that would make me change my mind.”

Jin turns to you, unsure what to say. There’s a mix of sadness and acceptance on your face at the memory, and he wants to apologize for what you had to go through, but that might feel simplistic. He wants to hold you and tell you that you didn’t deserve any of that, but it might not be the right time, so he lets you continue, knowing that it’s taking a lot for you to share this with him, given that it took a while, too.

“The guys never left my side, especially Namjoon. He wanted to make sure there was someone there when I finally got out, and he didn’t break his promise.”

You take Jin’s hand in yours, knowing he wants to. He’s not a naturally affectionate person but you could feel him wanting to do something to comfort you, and with his fingers constantly grazing your own as they both lay on the bench, you make the move. You can’t deny that you want his comfort, too.

“But he left, didn’t he? He’s been away for years,” Jin says, feeling a bit of anger, even if that would mean you wouldn’t be his wife, and the thought suddenly makes him feel uneasy.

“It felt unfair to make him stay,” you say. “He held out on a lot of things for me, then made sure I was stable at my job, that I wasn’t hating and blaming myself anymore, that I wasn’t untrusting and scared to let people in… and well, I needed to learn to stand on my own two feet, and doing so meant letting him go, so I did.”

“And what did that mean for the both of you? Did he feel the same way?”

“He did, he said that much. Still says it, actually, that’s why he proposed running away to Italy with him,” you chuckle, recalling the shock you felt when he hugged you goodbye. “He said I’m the one who agreed to marry a guy and let him keep his girlfriend so he said it didn’t hurt to try and pitch another crazy idea.”

“Well, he does have a point,” Jin hums. “Did you, uh, did you consider it?”

“No. That wasn’t our plan, Jin,” you turn to him, wanting to assure him this time. “Maybe if I wasn’t married, I would’ve considered it.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You shouldn’t be, but that’s the point, isn’t it? If I wasn’t married, it should be a yes, but it isn’t. He’ll keep wanting this life of art and beauty and travels and I’ll keep wanting mine that’s stable and secure and in Seoul. I don’t know when we’ll ever want the same thing.”

“When the time comes that you do, does that mean that you and him could finally be together?” Jin wonders.

“Yeah,” you respond. “It’s weird though. We spent all those hours ago just talking about ourselves; all we did was catch up. He talked about the places he’s been to and I talked about all the things I’ve been doing but we didn’t really talk about us. Sure, he suggested running away together but we didn’t actually talk about it.”

“What? I thought that was the point of you two meeting up?”

“Maybe there was just so much time apart and that mattered more - feeling each other’s comfort and wondering if it’s still the same, seeing how much of ourselves has changed… seeing if the feelings are still there, but not really talking about it,” you shrug. “Namjoon and I never really prioritized us, I realized. We prioritized ourselves, our friendship, but not us. I’m not quite sure what to make of that.”

Jin squeezes your hand, letting both of you just bask in the sounds of the ocean and the light from the moon.

“Until the time that you’ll see each other again, just remember that you’re both still looking at the same sky,” he says softly. “And I’ll be holding your hand until then.”

“Jin, are you shitting me?” you turn to him with wide eyes. “I may not be able to properly pronounce this store’s name but I can at least tell those diamonds are real, and they’re expensive,” you exclaim, emphasizing the last word.

“I told my Grandmother the same thing!”

“Okay, now you’re making me sound ungrateful,” you frown.

“Well, I said it kindly,” he clarifies. “But she won’t budge. She thinks it’s necessary for us to have matching diamond bracelets. When she learned that we were heading to Cannes today, she called this store and asked for a few designs to show us.”

You look at him worriedly before looking at the 3 options in front of you. Looking at the other pieces of jewelry in this chic store that Jin took you to after your time at the beach, you feel both in awe and like you’re going to faint. This is too much, you think, as the gifts from his family keep on coming. Of course, they gave you cash after the wedding, but it seems that all the more meaningful gifts were to come after you two had made it “official.”

“It doesn’t feel right accepting this,” you say, pouting and crossing your arms.

The sales staff seems to have picked up your reaction and she says something, which Jin translates for you.

“Apparently they’ve been paid for.”

“Oh goodness, Jin!” You whine embarrassingly. “We can’t… I can’t…”

“I know, but it’s gonna look worse if we don’t accept it. Just wear it when we’re seeing them. It’s fine, really. And you know I hate saying this but this really isn’t much for them,” he sighs, only preferring to talk of his family’s wealth when it’s to ironically make you feel better that whatever they spend for you is just like extra change for them.

“So can you please just choose? I like all 3 designs, but I think you prefer the simplest one,” he says, picking the least shiny one of them and closing the clasp around your wrist. “This one’s classic and elegant; you can match it with anything.”

“Okay, fine,” you give in, though the pout doesn’t leave your face.

This is the part you’ll never get used to and you mentally smack yourself for every time they give you something. In another version of this reality where you and Jin actually love each other, you feel like you’ll be more accepting, but being paraded with wealth on a daily basis is something that will always throw you off guard and make you feel undeserving.

You take the one for him and put it around his wrist, too, and you admit, it looks gorgeous on him. Jin has pretty hands and stunning fingers, something you’d noticed that first day in France as he held your hand in the car.

The sales staff asks for a photo that she’s been instructed to send to the elder Mrs. Kim; she’s apparently a regular here.

“Your Grandmother’s really not letting us off the hook, huh?” You laugh this time.

“She probably thought we’d find a way to skirt around their plan,” he laughs back. “But thank you for accepting. They badger me a lot for not buying you things because, well, you know my family - they like to show off but it comes from a good place, I promise.”

“I know. I’m sorry for being a difficult wife,” you shyly smile.

“It’s fine, you have your redeeming moments,” he says, yelping when you pinch his waist.

“Hey, proper decorum!” He whisper-yells, but the sales staff don’t seem to mind, as you’re the only ones here and they’ve been giggling ever since you and Jin started to bicker earlier.

“But anyway, thank you. I’m thinking of making them something before we leave tomorrow. Maybe sweetened rice cake?” You say.

“That takes a while to make,” Jin frowns.

“Preparing the glutinous rice is what takes a while. I can just wake up earlier and prepare it then sleep again or something. It’s the least I could do, Jin. Really, it’s nothing. Plus, I like making that for my family!”

“Yeah? You haven’t made it for me yet.”

“Well, then now I will. Come, I passed by some stalls earlier where I can buy dried fruits and nuts,” you say, pulling his arm towards a certain street.

And that’s how you and Jin spend the rest of your time in Cannes - shopping for ingredients, buying him jelly beans to shut him up because he was being really annoying, and laughing all the way to a small restaurant and then heading home.

You lay in bed that night, facing him once again, a smile immediately gracing your lips as he pinches your nose.

“Thanks for driving and being with me today, Jin,” you say. “And for not making it weird.”

“For not making it weird?” He chuckles. “May I remind you that you once made pancakes for me and Seri after you caught her at our house? Like it was totally normal?”

“It’s not like you were hiding or anything, so it’s not that bad,” you laugh. “Plus, it was always fine with me.”

“Yeah, but I still got so traumatized. And so driving you to Cannes wasn’t a big deal. I’m not sure if it was the meeting you imagined but I’m glad you got to see him. You seemed really happy, too, like you felt like home with him there.”

“I did, huh?” You ask softly, wondering how you look when you’re with Namjoon, but Jungkook always said you had a calmness on your face whenever you were with him.

“You did. Sorry if I stayed around a bit; I just wanted to make sure you were safe and stuff. And about your exes, I’m sorry about it, too,” he mumbles. “I didn’t know if it was right to say it earlier but I… You didn’t deserve that, and I’m just glad you had someone to help you pick up your pieces.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” you assure him. “And that’s why I was okay with you and me. It’s not so much that I have low standards in men, like you pointed out, but it’s more like - I know bad when I see it; I’ve experienced some of the worst. And you’re nothing like them, Jin. We may not be a normal married couple but I can sleep well at night knowing I’ll be safe, because that’s what I feel with you. So thank you.”

Jin can only smile. He realizes as each day passes that he values your words more than he expected, and knowing you feel safe with him is all he needs to hear. He pulls the covers over you and pinches your nose again before wishing you goodnight.

You didn’t think that Jin’s grandparents enjoying the sweetened rice cake you made for them would mean this much to you, especially when they say that it tastes like the ones they used to make when they still had the patience for it.

“Oh, darling. This just means you and Jin would have to visit us here again,” his grandmother says. “Or we’ll visit you. Whichever, as long as I get to taste more of this.”

“You’re welcome. You’ve just been so wonderful to me and I can’t thank you enough,” you respond, hugging them and his parents as you and your husband prepare to leave.

“Not a problem at all, dear,” his mother now says. “We're just happy that our son is happy. I’ve never seen him laugh and smile this much in years, and I’m not exaggerating.”

She doesn’t seem like the type who would; she’s always been straightforward and intentional, but you still take it with a grain of salt. Jin has had Seri for years, and he had to do his part of acting during this trip, too, even if you know there was sincerity in how he was with you.

You thank them again and wave them goodbye. You hug Sejeong and Hyo-seop and carry Geonhoo and Ji-hoo who are sad that they won’t be seeing you for a while.

“Just another week, we’ll see you back home,” Jin assures his niece and nephew. “Be good, okay? Don’t give your parents a headache.”

They give both of you sweet kisses and you walk towards the car where Emile has packed all your luggages already. You and Jin settle in and take the hour and a half car ride to Saint-Tropez, with both of you listing the cafes and restaurants you’ll be eating at.

You finally arrive at the palatial hotel perched on a hillside that’s overlooking the Mediterranean Sea. It’s got modern and classic touches that add to the serene ambiance of the place, especially as it’s nestled between gardens and large trees.

You’re assisted by the manager who informs you of the activities that have been paid for - you just have to set a schedule for them. There’s the boat trip that’ll take you around the coastline, the full-afternoon spa treatment, and a special dinner at the private beach club.

“Oh, Jin,” is all you manage to say, somehow not surprised anymore.

“Well, the other option was Paris and that would’ve been much more romantic,” he shrugs. “This isn’t so bad. I mean, it’s an old fishing village with little cafes and stores.”

“That does sound fun, and more like us,” you smile. “Guess that’s what we’ll be doing on our first day?”

He nods and gives your preferred schedule to the manager before you’re accompanied to your suite.

It’s bright and spacious with a living room and a kitchenette. The glass door leads to a garden outside with spectacular views of the French Riviera. It’s private and perhaps a fitting end to this whirlwind of a trip with your husband, knowing that after all this, you’ll go back to Seoul, back to your jobs and your own rooms, back to your own businesses, and back to the lie you won’t have to make in the comfort of your home.

You take it all in. Everything that’s happened in the past week isn’t what you expected - from getting as close as you are with Jin, kissing him, being okay with it… and seeing Namjoon, the man who let your heart beat again, the man who reminded you what it was like to care, to love, to wait, to hope, and to hurt.

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” Jin says as he marvels at the view from next to you. “It’s not crowded, and the town’s not far from here.”

“It’s beautiful,” you smile, letting the memory of yesterday stay at a nook of your mind for now. “Should we get going? I’m excited to eat.”

“You mean, you’re excited to dissect the food and then eat?” He arches a brow.

“Says the man who does exactly that,” you stick your tongue out. “But really, how else can you enjoy food but by appreciating its parts and as a whole? Makes it more delicious that way.”

“Geek,” he laughs, as you both head out the elevator and into the shuttle that would take you to the Old Town.

The weather is nice, with the sun’s heat and the breeze just right for the early afternoon. The streets are buzzing but not overwhelming, and you and Jin find yourselves in cobblestone streets and alleys lined with quaint cafes and local shops.

He looks quite the looker on a holiday, with his mustard-colored leather coords, the buttons of his polo open and a white sleeveless top underneath. You’ve noted a few tourists do double-takes when he walks and you still haven’t fully wrapped your head around how handsome he is.

You both go around and find a traditional restaurant for your late lunch and people watch, then you go around trying different pastries in the bakeries that you pass by. You end up at the Port and become amused by the fishing boats and yachts.

You’re tired by the late afternoon so you head back to your hotel to watch the sky turn purple then blue in your garden balcony with some mimosas just because. You semi-dress up for dinner at the hotel’s private beach club, a 10-course meal, and then enjoy drinks while watching a performance after.

Finally settled in the massive bed in your pajamas, you feel like floating. The mattress and linens are the most comfortable you’ve ever had and you don’t want to ever get off.

“Ugh, this is like heaven,” you moan.

Jin laughs as he lies next to you, sighing in satisfaction as well. “Ah, this is good. I should ask for the brand of the mattress and the pillows and buy them.”

You stare at him for a while until you realize he’s not joking, and he winks at you while typing on his phone, perhaps asking Yoongi to do it.

Jin scoots closer to you and you don’t pull away. You don’t seem to mind that there’s a big ass couch outside but he’s staying next to you, coming nearer.

“Is this okay?” He dares ask, and you smile softly as you nod.

You’re talking about your favorite cafes from earlier when Jin groans and shows you his text exchange with his mother. She asked for photos so he sent those of the scenery and the food but she wanted photos of both of you.

Who goes on a honeymoon and doesn’t have pictures with their wife! The text reads. Take photos of you and ___, we need to preserve these memories.

“She nags even about this,” he whines.

“It’s fine,” you chuckle. “We can take lots tomorrow. We’ll visit surrounding villages, anyway, and we’ll do the boat ride.”

So that’s what you both do the next day, as you stop by scenic views on the way to the nearby Port Grimaud and Ramatuelle. Your assigned chauffeur is kind enough to take the pictures, enjoying it himself as you and Jin keep arguing about the “proper” photo and debating which poses look couple-y enough.

It’s against one of the chateaus where the chauffeur decides to direct both of you, instructing Jin to pull you closer by the waist and telling you to put your hand on his chest. It’s very wedding-like, as Jin whispers in your ear, and you take the chance to tickle him on his neck while he’s distracted. His laugh is contagious, causing you to join him, and he pinches your nose like he likes to do.

You’re back at your hotel in time for lunch, then you lounge at the beach before your mid-afternoon private boat trip. It’s a laid-back activity, as you and Jin unwind at the deck with some cold cuts and wine and cheese.

He starts showing you photos of Taehyung and Hyun-a who are clearly enjoying their own honeymoon, and who are clearly very couple-y in their poses.

“We should try this,” Jin says, showing one where they're in the middle of a street party.

“Do I look like someone who pops her foot?” You nudge him. “Or someone who laughs prettily like that?”

“Yeah, you don’t do either,” he says, prompting you to pinch his arm. “Okay, this seems doable. And maybe this?”

You go through a few more and decide that amongst the kisses and the gazing and all the hugging ones, these ones he points out aren’t that hard.

So you try one where you’re next to him, your head leaning on his shoulder with his hand on your side, grazing your thigh that’s just causing you to inch closer to him. Even with your cover up, you could feel his taut, bare chest against your arm, and other than the times when you had to dance or kiss, this feels like the closest you’ve ever been to him.

“We’ve got enough for today, I think,” you say, smiling at him after one of the boat crew takes your photo.

He agrees, and so you go for a quick swim in the ocean before you head back to the boat to watch the sunset, docking at the area that you wanted to explore for dinner. It’s another one of those nights where you just freely walk around, getting lost along the way, with you and Jin blaming each other for both of your terrible navigation skills, but ending up bonding over the night market and feeding each other chickpea flour pancakes and sponge cakes.

Later that night while Jin is asleep, you look through the pictures on your phone, and you hadn’t realized that the chauffeur took more candid photos than the ones where you posed. It’s almost funny, as the nicest takes aren’t those where you look like a couple, but they’re the ones where you both look the most natural, the most free, the most comfortable. You can even remember what stupid joke or silly remark he made; you can even tell if you tickled or pinched him because he has a different face for each time you annoy him.

You may not laugh prettily like Hyun-a does, but one thing is for sure - this laugh you have is one of the most genuine ones you’ve ever had.

“So, did the French air give you a change of heart or something?” Jungkook, your childhood best friend, says over the phone while seemingly playing a game on his computer. “Your photos are so cute, dude. I’m finding it hard to believe that you and Mr. Rich Guy aren’t a couple. You sure nothing happened out there?”

He yelps and curses and you imagine his character dying and you roll your eyes. Of course, the one time you get to finally talk to him because this best friend of yours has a tendency to disappear when he feels like it, he’s still busy being a dramatic gamer.

“Nothing, I told you,” you groan, comfortably lying down on the couch because your husband is at the hotel cafe, working, claiming that he doesn’t want to do it at your suite so you won’t feel tempted to work, too. “We just pretend to be in love and shit. And again, Kook, his name is Jin, okay? You and Dara should stop calling him other things that aren't his name. We’ve been married for 6 months and you still keep doing that.”

“Gee, wifey’s being protective of her hubby, I see,” he teases. “Fine, I’m finding it hard to believe that you and Mr. Rich Guy Jin with Abs aren’t a couple. The photos you sent look like you’re about to burst from happiness.”

“I’m pretty sure it was because a bug flew by his face and he almost fell off the chair from fear,” you chuckle, suddenly remembering yesterday’s stop at a cafe by the street. “His finesse and seriousness really melt away when there’s an insect or when I tickle him. It’s funny.”

“Ugh, you sound so cheesy.”

“Yah! You’re the one who wrote a whole ass song for a girl and serenaded her outside her house, you dork.”

“That was college. I was a different person back then, ___,” he whines.

“Yeah, so was I,” you sigh. “I mean, who would’ve thought I’d be in France with a rich man as my husband, right? I couldn’t even find a decent man and now I’m married to a really great one. Damn it, I wish those assholes didn’t ruin me the way they did,” you say, suddenly turning somber. “Maybe I’d actually even consider Jin if he didn’t have a girlfriend.”

“They didn’t ruin you, okay? They just broke you a bit,” your best friend says. “And you were a different person back then because now, you’re this confident, happy woman who knows when something’s not good for her anymore and can stand her ground and fight for herself because that’s who you really are, okay? I was hoping that seeing Namjoon would remind you of that.” He curses again before he continues. “Also, is that a confession I hear? Would you really go for Jin if the situation was different?”

“Maybe, who knows? But the situation is this - Jin has a girlfriend, someone who makes him happy, and I’m waiting for a man to finally like me enough to come home to me.”

“What if Namjoon doesn’t?”

“Okay, harsh,” you groan.

“I mean, of course he likes you. He did, all those years ago, and he stood by you because you needed him. But he’s not the same person anymore as well, ___. And while you two still do your letter-writing as if you’re long-distance lovers but also talk over the phone every once in a while, he’s been gone for years,” Jungkook says. “I love the guy but every single day, he chooses to not be with you. And asking you to run away to Italy isn’t the grand declaration of love that you think it is. That was silly.”

“Hey, I never thought it was,” you sigh. “Even he knew it was crazy, so I don’t even know what he would’ve done if I agreed.”

“And what would’ve made you agree?”

At this, you don’t have a response because quite frankly, you don’t know. You don’t know what situation or circumstance you need that would make you just drop everything to be with the man you’ve ironically been waiting for.

“What? Nothing? See, I told you.”

“You didn’t tell me shit, Kook,” you laugh.

“I hate you.”

“You’re just putting things in my head.”

“No, I’m helping you make sense of things in your head. That’s my role in your life,” he says proudly. “But I’m serious. Think about why you’re still holding onto Namjoon. There could be a lot of reasons, but whatever it is, just remember - he’s not the only person who can love you.”

You remain silent on your end, and sometimes, you just hate it when Jungkook makes sense.

“I can’t really think of anyone else who can.”

“Well, we’re gonna have to change that mindset, ___. You could be holding onto something that’s long gone, and you’re only choosing to see what’s left of it, and that’s bound to fall away, too.”

You choose not to think much of what Jungkook said earlier while you were lazing in the suite while waiting for Jin to finish his work. You came to France to pretend and to enjoy along the way, not to think, and you’d promptly sent your best friend messages of how much you hate him for making you think but he replied that he can’t wait to see you when you get back.

“What’s with the furrowed brows?” Jin splashes you some water, and you have to hold back your yell and send him a death glare instead.

“___, we’re in the pool, you’re literally wet,” he deadpans.

“Not my hair though! I didn’t plan on wetting it,” you pout.

“Too bad, now you have to,” he shrugs, and you jump on his back in retaliation, although you don’t know what that was supposed to do since you’re now clinging onto his freeway shoulders with your chest squished against his bare back. He reflexively grips your thighs so you both won’t lose your balance and he’s laughing the whole time while you’re suddenly hyper-aware.

“You’re gonna have to shower anyway since we have that spa treatment this afternoon,” he reminds you. “I heard it’s really good.”

“Oh god, I haven’t had a massage in a year,” you say dreamily. “The most I get is from Jungkook but he’s lazy sometimes.”

Jin chuckles, amused by your relationship with your best friends who are all very different from you.

“But I’m going to enjoy today,” you smile. “It’s our last full day. It'll be back to reality for us pretty soon.”

You’re unsure what you meant and why you even said it, but you don’t miss the way Jin’s face falls a little at the reminder and this time, you try to not think too much of it.

After lunch at a seaside restaurant, you and Jin get ready for your spa day. It’s a long one, with scrubs and a hot tub, facial treatment and a full-body massage, and manicure and pedicure as well. You focus on how relaxed you feel; you’ve never been this pampered in your life, and even all the times you did a bit of it before never amounted to this, price- and service-wise. This is luxury on your mind and body, and you're loving every second of it.

Of course, you feign nonchalance at the half-naked man doing all those things with you, too. You wish the therapists wouldn't find it odd that a married couple doesn’t shower together or that Jin is in swim shorts and you’re in a two-piece bathing suit. Or that they came in with some treats and you and he are on opposite ends of the hot tub. Or that you bicker more than you say sweet things to each other, but just like how it’s been the past 2 weeks, you’re comfortable and you feel light, and it’s not just because the massage got rid of the knots on your shoulders.

You can’t help but moan all the way back to your room, and you’re too refreshed to move that when Jin takes your legs off the couch, you reflexively lay them on his lap as you remain laying down and enjoy the change of colors of the sky outside.

“You look comfy,” he chuckles, admiring how at ease you feel.

He’s glad that he was able to upgrade the treatment to the full-experience since he knows you need it. You’ve worked hard all these years and you deserve this day of pampering. He liked seeing you just let go and be treated like a queen even for just the afternoon, and he admits that the way your eyes lit up every time there was something presented to you - even if it was just the type of scrub or the oil to be used - made him feel light and at ease. Somehow, seeing you pampered was his own way of relaxing, as if seeing you feel that way rid him of the knots on his body, knowing how much stress and pressure he put you through the past weeks.

“It’s our last night here. What if we order room service for each other and be surprised?” He suggests.

“Hey, that would be fun!” You sit up. “But it should be a 3-course meal. If you give me just an appetizer, I will riot.”

He laughs again; he seems to do that a lot with you.

“Trust me, I don’t want that, either. But sure, a 3-course meal, then.”

Jin ends up cheating. He still orders for you - appetizer, entree of lobster, which is your favorite, and dessert as discussed. Luckily, you both order different things for each other so you get to try his food and he gets to try yours. But he also orders additional things - the dishes he feels that you’d like to try, and the way you squealed when you saw the stuffed capon fish and the lemon dessert made him sigh in satisfaction.

There’s that feeling again, of making you smile, of making you happy. Of making you feel cared for.

And later that night as you both lay in bed, after the drinks and endless conversations about food at your garden balcony, he lets himself feel the serenity of your presence next to him.

It’s the same thing he does when you both do your last tour of the city the next morning, discovering new cafes and going back to the ones you liked, taking photos along the way and saying goodbye to the town that you fell in love with even for just a few days.

“You all good?” He asks, as you settle on the window seat of the car that will take you to the airport.

“Yes. Two weeks just flew by,” you say, “and I really had fun. Thank you, Jin.”

He grins proudly, sliding down his seat a bit so you can lean on his shoulder, seeing as you still look sleepy.

You’re both quiet on the way there, and even as you both wait to board the plane. He sees you glance at him from your First Class seat some feet away, and he constantly asks if everything is okay like it’s reflex.

It’s a long flight and you arrive in Seoul in the late afternoon, with Yoongi and Mr. Lim greeting you both. You and Jin narrate the highlights of the trip to his secretary, to his amusement, but of course you don’t mention the more intimate moments, and you’re glad that Yoongi doesn’t prod.

Home smells amazing with Mrs. Kang’s cooking, with all of Jin’s favorite Korean food laid out on the table, his mouth watering at the sight.

He’ll unpack tomorrow or this weekend; there’s still work tomorrow, after all, and he’s tired from the flight and he can’t wait to lie down. So do you, it seems, as you yawn after your last spoonful of the tofu stew and say that you’ll head to bed.

Jin nods and follows you up the stairs, being reminded of that reality you’re both back in when you wish him goodnight and open the door of your room and close it behind you. He stands outside, knowing there’s no place for him there, and that he shouldn’t want it, he shouldn’t wish for it.

But as he walks to his room on the other side of the hall and as he lays in bed, his tired body begging him to sleep, he’s unable to. And as he stays on one end and leaves a space for you, he knows.

Something’s changed, and he doesn’t think he can continue in this reality after the past 2 weeks. Something’s changed, and he doesn’t know what to do.

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angie-likes-to-art · 3 years ago

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Fic Recs (9.25.21)

I wanted to share my favorite series/ one shots while I work on my own, please show some love to these amazing writers! These are in no particular order, some are older, others are more recent, all are amazingly well written. Previous Fic Rec

Method Acting (Series, Ongoing) by @kinanabinks (18+ Only)

Pairing: Frat!Steve x Reader Summary: “frat!steve and y/n are close friends, but the lines are starting to blur. if that isn’t confusing enough, enter beryl; a girl who’s hell-bent on making steve rogers hers, no matter what it takes.”

Couldn’t Be Me (Series, Ongoing) by @drunken-imagines

Pairing: College/ Fuck Boy!Bucky x Reader Summary: “college boy bucky”

Locked Out by @kayteewritessteve

Pairing: Firefighter!Steve x Reader Summary: “A much needed trip to the laundry room takes a turn for the worse when you realize you’ve locked yourself out of your apartment. The next move you make doesn’t play out quite like you’d hoped and ends up turning south, and fast. But, your luck starts to change when a neighbour finds you in a rather compromising position and offers his help.”

Astrophile (Series, Completed) by god herself @all1e23

Pairing: Firefighter/ Single Dad!Bucky x Bookstore Owner!Reader Summary: “Orion Rebecca Barnes's favorite thing in the whole world (besides her daddy of course) is spending hours after school in the bookstore by her house and the owner GIVES her any book she wants; she’s the coolest girl Orion has ever met. It doesn't take long for Bucky to notice his daughter’s sudden interest in constellations and the large stack of astrology related books piling up in her room. He’s spent her entire life trying to teach her about the stars and where her name came from with little interest from his little comet and all of sudden she’s in love. All thanks to the girl who owns the bookstore?”

Saving Grace (Series, Completed) by @revengingbarnes (18+ Only)

Pairing: Demon!Bucky x Angel!Reader Summary: “The reader loses her grace, loses everything she has ever known, and is cast down to Earth. Bucky is the demon who loves causing chaos in little human minds. What does he do when he happens upon a broken angel?”

2 Night Stand (Series, Ongoing) by @james-bucky-barnackle (18+ Only)

Pairing: Bucky x Reader Summary: “You found yourself at a club drinking away to forget about the stress of your shitty job as the assistant of the biggest Editor in New York, you end up hooking up with the man of your dreams only to wake up to a nightmare when you find out he’s the son of your boss.”

A Touch of Ink (Series, Completed) by @deamstellarus

Pairing: Single Dad/ Tattoo Artist!Bucky x Reader Summary: “After a breakup with your ex, you decided to move to the small town where your long-time friend Sam lives, hoping for a change of pace and starting a new chapter in your life. You were prepared for a slower paced lifestyle, quaint diners, and a change of scenery. However, you didn't expect to be swept off your feet by two stunning pairs of blue-grey eyes.”

Burn The Witch (Series, Completed) by @dreamwritesimagines (18+ Only?)

Pairing: Bucky x Spy!Reader Summary: “The mission was simple; get closer to the Winter Soldier and start a relationship with him to get the necessary information for your superiors to use. Everyone told you not to get your feelings involved. You should have listened.”

Real or Fake? By @tweedlydumbtweedlydoo

Pairing: Bucky x Reader Summary: “Nat and Steve try to set you and Bucky up by sending the two of you to be a fake couple on an undercover mission at a fancy gala. Will you two still be pretending by the end of the night?”

Blink Twice (Series, Ongoing) By @simmerandwrite

Pairing: Bucky x Reader Summary: “It was just an undetermined amount of time in a safehouse with a stranger: Bucky “I didn’t come here to make friends” Barnes himself. Would it really be all that different from your lonely life with your cat in the city? Bucky was basically a cat, anyway. He was quiet on his feet, only really made noise when it was dinner time, and you both seemed to just coexist without acknowledging each other. His mandate was to keep you safe. What could go wrong?”

The Stray By @bombsonboard

Pairing: Bucky x Reader Summary: “You make it a habit to feed the stray behind your building. Turns out someone else had the same idea, sickly meet cute ensues”

The Match (Series, Ongoing) By @babyboibucky (18+ Only)

Pairing: CEO!Bucky x Reader Summary: “You come across your boss’ Tinder profile.”

Untitled By @angrythingstarlight

Pairing: Construction Worker!Bucky x Reader Summary: “Beefy construction worker Bucky asking you out.”

The Boxer Next Door By @clints-lucky-arrow

Pairing: 1940’s Boxer!Bucky x Nurse!Reader Summary: “You haven't yet had the chance to introduce yourself to the group of young men who have moved in next door. Especially the handsome one who owns the bedroom window that faces your own. However, on a busy night working in the hospital's emergency room, that chance unexpectedly presents itself.”

Mel’s Cafe By @riverevelations

Pairing: Bucky x Reader Summary: “when a new dark-haired beauty makes his way into your daily life, he becomes the muse for your art. eventually, he becomes the muse for your feelings, as well.”

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imagineyourworld · 3 years ago

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The Wife

Wolffe x Fem!Padawan!Reader

Summary: When visiting a backwards village Plo Koon’s Padawan has to pretend to be married to Commander Wolffe in order to get the residents to back off

Warnings: Misogyny, a bit of nudity, a bit spicy making out

Check out my other work here

-------

You had been walking for what felt like hours when your Master, Plo Koon, received a message and asked you to join him at the front of the train of walking soldiers.

“(Y/N), my dear, I have some unfortunate news”, he started.

You looked at your Master expectically. Unfortunate news could mean basically anything and you could only hope that it wasn’t anything that would massively complicate your relief mission.

“As you know we’re going to deliver supplies to the Gonchee people here, and we don’t know much about them.” You simply nodded, not wanting to interrupt your Master, who continued just a moment later. “Master Yoda just forwarded me recent information we gained about the Gonchee. It seems they see human women as nothing more than, for a lack of a better word, prices or trophies to be won or taken.”

Your curious expression morphed into one of shock and disgust. Of course you knew that not every planet had the same standards when it came to equality between the sexes, but this level of misogyny was something you hadn’t expected to be confronted with.

“If I had known earlier I would have offered to let you stay on Coruscant or accompany another battalion”, Plo tried to apologize. But you just shook your head.

“It’s quite alright, Master. If I am to be a Jedi knight soon I will have to learn to handle situations such as this one, though I cannot say I am happy.”

Plo put a heavy hand on your shoulder and gave it an affectionate squeeze. He knew you were capable of handling yourself and could fight off a couple of Gonchee if necessary, but as your Master he still felt responsible and worried for your safety and wellbeing.

“Master Yoda also said that the Gonchee usually don’t bother married women, they consider them to be claimed by their husband.”

You looked up to your Master, expecting him to continue, but he just stared straight ahead, his expression never betraying his thoughts.

“I am not married, though”, you finally said.

“No, you’re not. You’re a Jedi and shouldn’t have attachments”, he answered.

Part of you wanted to correct him. You were not a Jedi, not yet at least. But the other, bigger, part was overjoyed your Master considered you a Jedi and not just a Padawan.

“I suppose I could ask Commander Wolffe to pretend to be your husband. Just for your safety, of course”, Plo continued.

For a fraction of a second you lost your balance, but quickly managed to catch your footing again. He couldn’t know about your crush on Wolffe, could he? Sure, your Master was a great Jedi, strong in the force, and he knew you better than anyone, having raised you like his own daughter, but you have been so careful to hide your feelings for your commander.

“Only if that’s what you want, of course.”

You took a moment to consider the proposition. Feelings aside, it was a good idea. If being ‘married’ would make sure the Gonchee wouldn’t bother you and ensure you could do your job that was a good thing, the rational thing to do.

Finally you nodded. “Only if Wolffe wants to, though. Otherwise I’ll ask Sinker.”

-------

Wolffe hasn’t been watching you and the General, that would be ridiculous. And of course he hasn’t noticed how your hair shines in the sun or how you smile at your Master with love and trust in your eyes. And when Plo Koon asked to talk to him a while later he wasn’t hoping to find out more about your conversation with him, that thought never crossed his mind.

“Wolffe, I have a favour to ask you.”

Wolffe simply nodded. He would to anything for the kind Jedi who treated him and his brothers like actual people, who never showed them anything other than respect.

“Of course, General. What is it?”

“I want you to be married to (Y/N).”

It took all the self control Wolffe could gather not to look at the Jedi, not to blush and not to let his feelings show.

“Is this a test?”, he asked. Though it seemed out of character for Plo, maybe he was trying to get Wolffe to confess his feelings for you. Feelings he had spent months and months trying to deny and repress, feelings that would get him in more trouble than he could ever imagine if anyone were to find out.

“No, no”, the General reassured his Commander. He then told Wolffe about the situation and why he was asking this of him.

Wolffe nodded along with the explanation before finally daring to look at Plo.

“Did (Y/N) suggest me as her fake husband?”, he asked, trying his best to keep his voice even and steady. He knew it was a arisky question that might tell the Jedi more about his feelings than he should know, but he couldn’t help but wonder and he wouldn’t agree if you would rather be fake married to one of his brothers instead of him.

“It was my idea, though she seemed to be quite happy with you as her ‘husband’“, Plo answered in a tone that told Wolffe the Jedi had to be smiling under his mask. “I just thought you were the obvious choice, considering how close the two of you are.”

Wolffe nodded, not knowing what to say.

“That makes sense”, he finally said.

Plo looked at the young man next to him. Though Wolffe’s expression was usually stoic, now it was even more so. It seemed forced, as if he was trying his best not to let any feelings show. The General couldn’t help but realize just how similar the clone’s expression was to yours just a bit earlier.

“Maybe you should go to (Y/N) to discuss how you’re going to handle the situation. I’ll inform the others to play along”, Plo suggested after a few moments of awkward silence and with a quick “Yes, sir” Wolffe turned around to find you amidst the soldiers.

-------

By the time you were nearing the village, you and Wolffe had just finished your plan.

“Let’s go over it one last time”, he suggested.

You opted not to tell him that that would be the third ‘one last time’, partly because you knew he didn’t like being corrected and would not hesitate so snap at you, partly because going over this plan like any other mission made it easier for you to let it sink in that this was just that, a plan, a mission, pretend. You were not married to Wolffe, nor would you ever be. The two of you were friends, nothing more. Because no matter how you felt, how you’ve been feeling for quite some time now, you could never be together, even on the off chance that Wolffe reciprocated your feelings.

“The Gonchee don’t know anything about Jedi, other than that we’re here to help, so they won’t find our ‘marriage’ suspicious. We’ll them we met at the beginning of the war and have been married for a couple of months. Really, Wolffe, it’s not that complicated, I’m sure we’ll both be able to remember to play the part.”

The snark reply you had been expecting didn’t come. Instead Wolffe simply nodded and stared straight ahead.

“Just remember to keep physical contact to a minimum”, he reminded you for the fifth time.

You rolled your eyes. Sure, Wolffe had never been one for hugs and cuddling, unlike many of his brothers, who often seeked you out for a comforting hug, but he really didn’t have to tell you to keep your hands to yourself every couple of minutes, you were not some hormonal teenager.

“Will do, Commander.”

Without another word, or even so much as a nod, Wolffe speeded up his steps to join Master Plo at the front.

“What’s gotten into your husband?”

You turned around to find Sinker looking at you with an amused expression, Boost right beside him sporting a smug grin.

“Guess he’s just not too thrilled about being fake married to me”, you tried to joke, even though just the thought hurt more than you cared to admit. Of course you knew nothing could ever happen between you, but you’d be lying if you said that you hadn’t hoped that this mission would allow you to pretend for just a little while, to maybe get closer to him.

“If he really didn’t want to do it, he wouldn’t do it. I heard him talking to the General, Plo asked him, he didn’t order him. Wolffe could have stepped down and let one of us take his place. And I’m sure most of us would have happily done so”, Boost claimed, laying a hand on your shoulder and sending you a warm smile.

Maybe it would have been better to do this with someone else, someone who would put his arms around you to really sell the story and who you could laugh about the whole affair with afterwards. And yet you knew that being in a ‘relationship’ with anyone other than Wolffe would have been worse than Wolffe’s obvious dislike of the whole situation.

“It’s fine. Wolffe’s just being Wolffe, he’ll come around once we arrive at the village”, you tried to reassure both the troopers and yourself.

-------

Wolffe had, in fact, not come around by the time you reached the village. He had spent the rest of the way talking to your Master and completely ignoring you. It was moments like this that made you question why you even had feelings for him, he was so hot and cold, sending you gentle smiles and sharing inside jokes one moment and acting like you didn’t even know each other the next. But it was those few moments when his gentler side, which you alway thought was more his true self, showed, that kept you hooked.

It was Plo Koon who interrupted your thoughts by asking you to join him and Wolffe at the front to greet the Gonchee.

The small creatures were no bigger than Jawas, had greenish fur and ears that reminded you of Loth cats, other than that they looked pretty human.

“Good evening. I am General Plo Koon, these are Commander (Y/N) (Y/L/N), Commander Wolffe and the 104th. We were sent by the Republic to deliver supplies and help you reset your village.”

The Gonchee at the front, who seemed to be an older man, bowed his head slightly, the others, all male you realized, followed suit.

“Welcome, Jedi Koon. I see you have brought a female with you, I don’t suppose she’s here to stay with us?”

The way he licked his lips with his yellow tongue made you shudder. You could sense resentment practically rolling off your master at the Gonchee’s words, but more than that it was Wolffe’s arm around your shoulder that calmed you.

“My wife will most certainly not stay with you, she’ll be by my side, always.”

Maybe you imagined that his arm tightened around you as you leaned into him, but you certainly didn’t imagine the growl coming from his throat as the Gonchee looked you up and down.

“Such a shame. Having a human woman is an honor to us, you know and this one seems to be a fine specimen. You’re lucky to have her.”

Though his words sounded as if he was buying your lie and letting go of the thought of having you, whatever that meant, you couldn’t bring yourself to believe that he, or any other male Gonchee, would leave you alone. Not even Wolffe looking at you from the side, a small smile on his lips, could relief you of your anxiety.

“I feel like the luckiest man in the galaxy every minute I have her next to me.”

His words were directed at the Gonchee, but somehow they felt like more. Like something one would whisper to a lover in private.

It was only when Plo spoke up again that you could tear your eyes away from Wolffe, from his warm gaze and full lips.

“The men will bring in the supplies now, if you’ll allow, and then we’ll settle for the night.”

The Gonchee at the front nodded.

“Of course, of course. Though the lady should stay with the other women. You see, we don’t allow women to do any physical labour.

-------

Several Gonchee had offered to accompany you to the hut the women of the village spend most of their time in, but you had declined. That didn’t mean you could go alone, however. The entire 104th seemed to have noticed the glances the male Gonchee shot you and had silently agreed to never let you out of their sight while you were in the village. Which is how you found yourself with your hand in the crook of Wolffe’s elbow, being lead to the ‘women’s hut’ as it was called.

“I’ve been to many planets and have met people of many cultures, but none of them were as backwards as the Gonchee. If they could see you in action they would know not to look at you like that”, your companion grumbled.

You swallowed down the urge to tell him that quite a few shinies have made their moves on you in the past, though you had shot all of them down and had to admit that none of them reduced you to your body the way the Gonchee did.

“It’s only for a couple of days. It’ll be like a mini vacation for me, not having to do any work.”

You could feel Wolffe eying you from the side but refused to look his way.

“I wish I could stay with you”, he said, more to himself than to you. “I mean someone. I wish someone, one of us, could stay with you.”

You chuckled. It was rare to see this side of Wolffe, the side that corrected his words, that stuttered and almost seemed nervous.

“I’d like you to stay. But you have a job to do and I can defend myself, should anything happen.”

You placed a hand on his arm, and though you were sure he couldn’t feel it through the plastoid armor, he seemed to relax just a little bit.

“We both know that I can take care of myself. Besides, it’s only for a couple of hours, I’ll be with you again before you know it.”

He nodded, but the frown never left his face entirely.

“I’ll have someone come in and check on you every now and then. It’s not without reason that we have to pretend to be married, we cannot be careful enough.”

Wolffe’s tone told you that there was no use in arguing. And maybe he was right, if even your Master, who you knew would never disregard your ability to fend for yourself, thought it would be safe to always have a man, to always have Wolffe, with you, it couldn’t hurt to be safe rather than sorry.

“Sounds reasonable.”

Just as soon as the words left your mouth you stopped in front of the the small building the Gonchee had told you to go to. It looked ancient and primitive compared to the skyscrapers on Coruscant and shining starships you were used to, but through the open door you could spot pillows and blankets and a roaring fire inside. At least you’d be comfortable.

The women inside seemed to have heard you approaching, because most of them stopped their work and conversations to catch a glance at you and Wolffe.

“I guess this is it”, you said more to yourself than your fellow Commander. He nodded nonetheless.

“Be careful. Don’t do anything reckless.”

You tried your best to swallow any remark since your usual answer to something like that would be exactly what Wolffe would describe as “reckless”.

“I’ll see you soon”; you replied instead. And because you could still feel the eyes of the Gonchee women on you, you lifted yourself up on your tiptoes and pressed a gentle kiss to Wolffe’s cheek. After all, you had to make your marriage believable.

The low noise Wolffe made shocked you for a split moment. It was a mixture between a grunt and a sigh that didn’t speak of surprise as much as... disbelief? You couldn’t quite place it. Though you tried not to think about it too much as your turned away from him and entered to hut, where the women started questioning you immediately.

-------

True to his word Wolffe had sent someone of the pack to check in on you every ten minutes or so, but despite their reports that you were perfectly fine and just talking to the women of the village, Wolffe only felt a sense of relief when he saw you again himself.

You were sitting next to Sinker on one of the many logs surrounding the fireplace. The rest of the pack as well as Plo Koon were either on logs or the ground nearby while the Gonchee, mostly the men but a few women as well, sat on the other side of the fire.

As Wolffe stepped closer you lifted your head, and as always he couldn’t tell whether you had heard his footsteps or felt his force signature.

The old Gonchee who had greeted you was the first to speak up.

“Ah, the husband returns. Such a shame, I had thought I might have a chance with that lovely woman of yours after all.”

Wolffe knew that the polite thing to do would be to answer him, but one of the first things General Koon taught his men was that it was better to say nothing at all if you didn’t have anything nice to say. So he simply walked over to where you were sitting and squeezed himself into the space between you and the end of the log, which resulted in you being squished between him and Sinker. A scenario Wolffe, being the overly protective man he is, usually wasn’t too fond of, but in this the more of the Wolfpack were around you, the better.

It was only when he felt you moving impossibly closer to him, when he smelled the last clinging bit of your sweet perfume, that had somehow endured the walk to the village and your time in the women's’ hut, that he was finally able to relax. You’d be right next to him, or at least one of his brothers or the General, for the rest of the night, meaning you were safe from the Gonchee for now.

Suddenly he felt your lips right next to his ear, your breath hitting his skin.

“If we wanna sell this marriage you cannot just sit there like a droid, Wolffe.”

The way you whispered, almost purred, his name made shivers run down his spine. And though he tried to suppress it, your soft giggle told him that you’d noticed.

With a small sigh he put his arm around your waist and pulled you even closer to him. So close that he could practically feel your body melting into his, though he tried not to think about how right it felt to have you in his arms, how your body seemed to perfectly fit right next to his.

“Is this better?”, he whispered in your ear. Out of the corner of his eye he could see you biting your lip and even pressing your thighs together. He shook his head, he must have imagined that. It was probably just you trying to get comfortable in this new position.

“How long have to two of you been married?”, one of the younger Gonchee asked.

For just a moment you tensed beneath Wolffe’s arm before relaxing again.

“Just a couple of months”, you replied. Your smooth lie impressed Wolffe, being raised by Plo Koon you were usually a fan of telling the truth and he couldn’t help but wonder where you learned to lie like that.

“And you let your wife fight?”, another Gonchee asked, the disbelief clear in his voice.

Wolffe sneaked a glance at you. How could anyone look at you and not see a warrior? Sure, your appearance might not be the most threatening, but wasn’t it obvious that the way you pressed your lips together spoke of determination? That you eyes told anyone who looked into them how much you’ve been through and how deeply you cared? That your hands were calloused from holding a lightsaber and yet soft enough to comfort a clone in distress?

“It’s not up to me whether she fights or not.”

A grumble of disagreement was heard from the assembled Gonchee, or at least from the men.

“We are very fortunate to have a warrior as great as (Y/N) fighting besides us every day”, the General said after a while. For anyone who knew him it was obvious that he was trying to end the subject while defending you at the same time, but the Gonchee seemed to think of his statement as a challenge.

“But what about children? How will she carry children if she is fighting?

From the way your shoulders tensed underneath Wolffe’s arm he could tell that you were close to telling the Gonchee of once and for all, and apparently SInker on your other side could tell as well, because now he jumped into the conversation.

“They’re still newly weds, children can wait until the honeymoon phase is over, don’t you agree?”

The oldest Gonchee leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees.

“We do not care for such sentiments. Our women cook our food, sow our clothes, take care of our children and warm our beds, believe me, it’s easier that way. Perhaps you should try it, Commander.”

For what felt like the thousandth time that day Wolffe looked at you. Of course you knew that you had to represent the Republic wherever you went, but usually that didn’t stop you from speaking up for what’s right. He wasn’t sure whether he should be impressed by or concerned about your self restraint.

“It’s very different in our culture. We marry for love, most of the time at least”, you finally said. And if he hadn’t been staring at you already Wolffe would never have noticed the way your eyes flitted over to him when you said “love”.

Several of the Gonchee opened their mouth to argue, but lucky for the entire 104th a few women carrying trays with various foods and drinks appeared and rendered the men silent.

-------

Shortly after a near silent meal your Master stood up.

“I suppose it would be best for us to call it a night. We will have to be up early tomorrow if we want to reach out ship again before nightfall.”

The Gonchee leader stood up as well and slightly bowed his head before the Jedi.

“Very well. We have prepared our assembly hut for you, I will show you the way.” He stopped for a moment and looked over to where you were still sitting between Wolffe and Sinker. “Though I know you follow different customs, we Gonchee do not allow women to sleep in a room with people they’re not related or married to, which is why we have also prepared an empty hut for the Commander and his wife. And I suppose they will need privacy so she can perform her marital duties. My son will show them the way”

You were quite certain that at one point throughout the day your own rank as Commander had been mentioned, but even though you really wanted to correct the old Gonchee, you were tired of dealing with them all day and decided against it. Though the same could not be said for the Wolfpack. Several of them, including Wolffe and Sinker next to you as well as Boost next to Sinker, spoke up to correct him.

A younger Gonchee, who you assumed was said son, stood up and looked at you with a twinkle in his eyes.

“Alright, Commanders”, he said. The ironic way in which he pronounced the word made Wolffe roll his eyes, which by now you could tell even if you weren’t looking at him. “Follow me.”

The two of you bid goodnight to the others and did as the Gonchee had said. The thought of probably having to share a bed with Wolffe crossed your mind for a moment, but it was gone as soon as it came. Though as soon as the son opened the door to a small hut, smaller than any you had seen before, it returned.

The ceiling was low, the room was small and the only pieces of furniture were a small bed and a single bedside table.

“It’s not much but it’ll do for the night”, the Gonchee said. Though the words were probably supposed to be apologetic, his tone was anything but.

Wolffe, bowing his head due to the low ceiling, stepped into the hut while you remained outside. That, however, proved to be a mistake just a moment later, because the Gonchee stepped closer, closer than you would have wanted, and looked up at you.

“You might rather spend the night in my room, it’s bigger and more comfortable and I could really use someone in my bed, especially a pretty human woman such as yourself.”

Due to his words and the way he eyed you, especially with your private parts almost in his eyeline because of his short height, you wanted nothing more than to punch him. Maybe kick him. Maybe cut off something of his with your lightsaber. And if it hadn’t been for Wolffe you would have, and ruined your mission within a split second.

But there was Wolffe, knight in plastoid armour protecting you from any rash decisions. He had left the hut and was now standing behind you, from where he put his arms around your middle and, you were sure, glared daggers at the Gonchee.

“I suggest you leave my wife alone”, he growled and tightened his grip on you even more.

You weren’t sure whether it was his words, the growl or his arms around you and your back to his chest, but something about his behaviour did something to you. Something that would make it a million times harder to share a room, share a bed, with him tonight. As if your crush on the Commander wasn’t already bad enough...

“I thought in your culture you love the one you marry and if you love this woman you wouldn’t want her to miss out on spending a night with a real man, would you?”

If the situation wasn’t so tense you would have laughed. A real man? He was covered in fur!

“Wolffe gives me everything I need and more. I wouldn’t leave him for any man in the entire galaxy.”

It was only when the words left your mouth that you realized just how true they were. You really had to get that under control, having a crush on your fellow Commander was bad enough, you would not allow yourself to actually fall in love with him. You couldn’t jeopardize your friendship, your future as a Jedi knight, everything and everyone you’ve ever known for a man who you knew thought of you as a friend.

The Gonchee looked you up and down one last time before glaring at Wolffe.

“Then I suppose I should bid the two of you good night.”

And without another word he turned around and left the two of you alone.

As soon as he was gone Wolffe let go of you and put some distance between you.

“You should lie down, you must be tired after dealing with those idiots all day.”

His words made you turn around to face him. Once again you just couldn’t read him. One moment he made your heart beat faster by actually acting like your husband and the next he pretended like you were nothing more than acquaintances. But for once you grew tired of this behaviour and refused to oblige, instead you stepped closer to him again and put a hand on one of the arm he had crossed across his chest.

“I’m sure you’re just as tired, if not more. Let’s both go to bed.”

He raised one eyebrow, but other than that he didn’t make a move to break contact with you again.

“There’s only one bed.”

Now it was your turn to roll your eyes, a gesture you had often copied from Wolffe himself.

“I know that. But we’re old enough and trust each other enough to sleep in the same bed for one night”, you argued. You didn’t know what made you do it, but you couldn’t resist the urge to lean even closer, stand up on your tiptoes and whisper into his ear. “You’re my husband, after all. And husband and wife usually sleep in the same bed. And how else are you supposed to protect me from the Gonchee?”

You were too close to his ear to actually see his face, but you were sure he was smirking as he scoffed.

“I thought you were plenty capable of handling the Gonchee yourself, Commander.”

The way he said your title did something to you you’d rather not investigate any further. He was teasing, of course he was, but though two could play that game you were simply too tired.

“Just join me in bed when you’re ready. Otherwise you’ll have to sleep on the cold floor and I’ll have to explain to Master Plo why his Commander is sore all over tomorrow.” You could have left it at that, you should have, but you just had to add one more sentence. “And I can think of more pleasant ways to make you sore.”

As you left him standing and entered the hut you could hear a choked noise coming from him.

-------

“Finally decided to join me?”, you teased when Wolffe slipped underneath the cover.

Wolffe didn’t answer. He couldn’t think of an answer, couldn’t think at all. Not with you so close, laying beside him, trusting him to sleep next to you, to defend you if any of the Gonchee were to try something while you were in your most defenseless state.

“Wolffe”, you whispered after a moment of silence.

Now he had no choice but to answer.

“What is it?”, he grunted. And instantly regretted his gruff reply. This was his one chance to have you close, to forget that there was no way the two of you could ever be more than friends.

“Thank you, for today. And tonight. I’m glad you’re my ‘husband’.”

Wolffe wasn’t good with words, but in that moment he really had no idea what to say.

“It really showed us what we’re missing, didn’t it? The chance to be in love, to be married and not have to hide your feelings”, you continued.

For a second Wolffe’s heart stopped beating. Could you be talking about him not having to hide your feelings or was is just a general statement? Or did you maybe mean that you... No, that was impossible.

“Anyways, we should get some sleep now, we have an early start tomorrow”, you concluded.

From then on it only took a few seconds for your breathing to even out and just was Wolffe was about to sigh in relief that he no longer had to pretend that being near you wasn’t affecting him, you rolled over from your back onto your side and were now pressed up against Wolffe.

It wasn’t just his heart that stopped now, his breathing did as well. How could he move even to take another breath with you so close, with your head resting underneath his chin, your legs intertwined with his and your arm lazily thrown over his torso.

“Damn it”, he mumbled, though he instantly came to regret having made a sound. Luckily you were still fast asleep, if anything you cuddled up even closer to Wolffe.

Slowly, more careful than he had ever been, he lifted his own arm to wrap it around your waist and pull you even closer. He let out a content sigh, breathing in the scent of your shampoo in the process.

Wolffe knew for a fact that he wouldn’t get any sleep that night. This was his one chance to share a bed with you, and even though he would have loved to fall asleep and wake up next to you, he preferred cherishing every second of the night.

-------

The next morning you were woken up not by the sun shining directly in your face, nor Wolffe’s sort snoring or the birds chirping outside, but by the unfamiliar voices speaking in what you recognized as the language of the Gonchee.

You decided that it might be best to pretend to still be asleep, which is why you moved even closer to Wolffe and buried your head underneath his chin. In turn he pulled you closer to him, which made you realize that he had had one arm around you the entire time. You were almost too distracted by the warm and comforting presence of Wolffe next to you and the safety his arm around your waist guaranteed to notice that his breathing changed as he slowly woke up. Though like you Wolffe must have decided not to make it known that he was awake, it was only the more uneven breaths and the stiffening of his body that made it obvious.

“Might I ask why you have invaded my commanders’ privacy?”, a familiar voice cut through the Gonchees’ conversation. And though you knew that it was safe to ‘wake up’ not that Plo Koon was here, both you and Wolffe still pretended to be fast asleep. Which had nothing to do with the fact that you simply didn’t want to face a reality where you weren’t cuddling in bed with Wolffe, nothing at all.

“We... I....”, one of the Gonchee stammered.

“We were here to wake them up”, another voice, who you recognized as the leader’s son, tried to explain.

You both heard and sensed you master coming closer, and though part of you was worried what he may say, or worse think, about the position you and Wolffe were in, the bigger part was comforted by the fact that the Gonchee were either afraid enough or had enough respect for the Jedi to hurry out of the hut within seconds.

“I know you’re awake.” Your Plo’s voice sounded amused rather than mad, though to be fair, in all your years of being his Padawan you had only seen him angry a handful of times, and almost never at you.

It took a lot of self-restraint to fight the urge to cuddle closer to Wolffe for one last second before opening your eyes, but you managed. In moments like these you really wished Plo wouldn’t have to wear a mask, it would make it worlds easier to guess his feelings if you could just see his face.

“I take it the two of you slept well?”, he asked. “The Gonchee certainly seemed to think so.”

You didn’t know what to say. Was there anything you could say without letting either Wolffe or Plo Koon know just how well you slept with your fellow commander by your side? How much you never wanted to go to sleep without him in your arms again and how much you already missed him, now that he was just a few centimeters away?

“Did you understand them, sir?”, Wolffe asked. It didn’t escape your notice that he didn’t answer the question either, though that could simply be due to the fact that Wolffe despised small talk, even with the man who was like a father to him.

“I understood enough to know that they believe the two of you to be very much in love. As well as a few comments I’d rather not repeat, or think about ever again”, Plo replied. As he spoke his eyes shifted between you and Wolffe, though you tried your best not to meet his gaze. You knew that he could already tell more than enough about your emotions through your force connection, if he saw your face, saw the love and admiration that must be visible in your eyes, he would know just how much you cared for Wolffe.

“I’ll let you get ready then. Be outside in 10 minutes, we’re leaving in 20.” With those words Master Plo turned around, left the hut and left the two of you alone.

You looked over at Wolffe, who, same as you, was leaning against the wobbly headboard.

“For what it’s worth, I really did sleep well. Better than I had in a long time”, you said with a slight smile on your lips. Maybe this was overstepping a boundary, but right now you didn’t care.

All Wolffe, in a very characteristic yet disappointing, fashion did was nod before standing up and starting to put on the first pieces of his armour. Other than you, who had actually changed into a pyjama while Wolffe had still been outside the hut last night, he had slept in his blacks and didn’t really have to change, or rather undress.

You, however, did. At first you glanced around the hut, looking for some sort of privacy you knew you wouldn’t find. Then you considered your options: You could ask Wolffe to leave, or to simply turn around, while you would change and he’d do it with probably only an amused smile, or you could just change real quick while he was still busy with his armour. In the blink of an eye you decided on the second option, partly because Wolffe, as well as the other clones in the 104th, had seen you bloody and sweaty, with torn clothes and in various states of undress before, either in the medbay or when you had been in a particular hurry, but mostly you just didn’t want to send Wolffe away, not after having spent the night together.

It was only when you had already changed into your regular trousers and just put on your bra when you came to regret your decision.

“What the kriff do you think you’re doing?”, Wolffe asked, his tone mostly shocked, though there was an emotion in there you couldn’t quite decipher.

“What does it look like? I’m changing.”

You had previously had your back turned to Wolffe, but his question, or rather the way in which he asked, gave you the confidence boost needed to turn around and face him.

“Would you rather I went out in my pyjama?”

This trip really was proving to be most unusual, since Wolffe seemed to be speechless.

“Of course not”, he finally said, though his voice did sound a bit off. “But you could have asked me to leave.”

By now you really didn’t know where your confidence was coming from, but as if an autopilot you stepped closer to him, close enough to see the way his eyes, as well as his pupils, widened.

“Maybe I didn’t want you to leave.”

It was a bold statement, and maybe not entirely true, but it seemed to do the trick, since a smirk found its way to Wolffe’s lips. His eyes, previously focused on your eyes, flitted down to your chest for a moment before going back up again.

“Then what is it you wanted me to do?”, he asked. “What do you want?” A clear challenge to either back down or take a leap. A challenge you shouldn’t accept, but found yourself really wanting to.

“I want you to be here, with me. I want you to be with me wherever I go. I want you next to me in bed when I go to sleep at night and when I wake up the next morning. I want you to always look at me the way you’re doing right now. I want you to touch me and kiss me and make me yours. Maker, Wolffe, I want you!”

The words were out of your mouth without thinking. Just like that, you had voiced every thought running through your brain, made yourself vulnerable to Wolffe’s reaction, whatever it might be. Though you had never expected it to be an arm, already covered in plastoid, to wrap around your waist and a hand, warm and steady, on the back of your neck.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for you to say that”, he mumbled before crashing his lips against yours.

Though you didn’t have much experience, you knew that this was what a kiss was supposed to be. It was not a clashing of teeth, like your first kiss, nor hesitant and barely there, like your second, but a perfect mixture. Wolffe wasn’t rough, though there was just enough force to tell you that he could be if that’s what you wanted. His lips worked against yours as if they were made to, teeth softly grazing your bottom lip a few times before biting down. He nibbled on your lip, then caressed it with his tongue before giving the same treatment to your top lip. Some time during the kiss your hands had found their way into his hair, pulling it and pulling him closer at the same time, finally feeling the soft strands between your fingers and causing Wolffe to moan at the sensation. By the time his tongue made its way into your mouth you could have sworn that your legs were made of jelly, that you had moved on to whatever came after this life, that this was a dream.

Even when Wolffe pulled away to catch his breath you didn’t dare to open your eyes, afraid of the reality you would find if you did.

You heard Wolffe’s low chuckle before his lips were on you again. This time he gently kissed your cheeks, the corners of your lips, before making his way down. He spread small bites on your jaw and then followed his teeth with his tongue, soothing the slight sting. Though it was a spot high up on your neck, just beneath your jaw, that finally got a reaction from you. You tightened your grip on his hair as his lips ghosted over the spot and moaned when they pressed harder.

“So needy”, Wolffe chuckled.

All you did to reply was pull his head up again for another kiss, one that was faster and more heated than the last. Though as soon as you pulled away his lips found their way to the same spot again. He began to suck while at the same time pulling you back to the bed. You wondered how he had enough sense to sit down and pull you into his lap, all your thinking had abandoned you the moment his lips first met yours.

“Wolffe, I - kriff, stop -”, you panted.

As soon as you said the word he pulled away, though his hands still had a grip on you, it loosened and he looked at you with nothing but love and lust in his eyes.

“What is it, mesh’la?”

For a moment you leaned your forehead against his shoulder before straightening up again and looking at him.

“As much as I’d love for you to leave hickeys all over, we both know that you can’t. No one can know this ever happened”, you told him, making sure to put just enough authority in your voice to make him take you seriously.

A sly grin was on his lips as soon as the words left your mouth.

“I know, cyare”, he reassured you. He leaned closer again, though this time his lips didn’t move to your neck, but to your ear. “But later I’ll mark you in places where no one but me will see.”

The thought alone send shivers down your spine and heat to your core, but it also placed a smile on your face.

“Looking forward to it”, you said and placed a quick peck on his lips. Though you should have known that Wolffe wouldn’t leave it at that. He pulled you closer once again, the hand on your waist now moving upwards and to the front until it cupped your breast. Gently, in stark contrast to the way he bit down on your lip, he squeezed and massaged in before moving on to the other one.

Another moan escaped your lips, this one even louder.

“Careful, we don’t want anyone to hear you, do we?”

You were about to nod in agreement when an idea popped into your head.

“I bet hearing me would make the Gonchee really believe that we’re married.”

Wolffe chuckled as he once again moved his hands to your waist.

“I think they already believe us, cyare.”

-------

It had taken the two of you a while to finally separate and make yourselves look presentable, and only when you heard Sinker calling for the last men to hurry up did you finally leave the hut.

Now, on your way back to the ship, the two of you were finally together again after you had talked to Plo Koon and Wolffe to the other clones for a while.

“You know, I’m really glad it was you I was fake married to”, you confessed in a whisper.

Wolffe’s hand brushed against yours for a second while he chuckled.

“You know, maybe one day we can scratch the ‘fake’.”

He saw the surprise in your eyes as you looked up to him. Truth be told, he hadn’t meant to say that in that moment, but he knew he wanted it to be true. Some day, when the war was over, if you would still want him by your side by then.

“I’d like that. I’d like that very much”, you said with a smile. “But first, I think there’s something else we need to do, once we have some time and privacy.”

Wolffe knew exactly what you were talking about, and though he couldn’t wait to feel you, to hear you and touch you again, he also couldn’t wait for the day he would get to call you his wife for real. Maybe, after such a long time of denying his feelings and then refusing to act on them, this trip to the Gonchee village and pretending to be married had been good for something after all.

I tried to put a little bit of everything (and by ‘everything’ I mean some of my favourite tropes) into this story, I hope you enjoyed it.

As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. <3

#wolffe x reader #commander wolffe x reader #wolffe x you #commander wolffe x you #wolffe x y/n #commander wolffe x y/n #commander wolffe imagine #wolffe imagine

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