#oh dickie i'm dead

[ladygoehnio]

Lord and Lady Louis Mountbatten in their house Adsdean with the Prince of Wales' Equerry "Fruity" Metcalfe.

[batbux]

Clark: You know, sometimes I wish I had more children like you do, Bruce.

Lois, sighing heavily because one alien pregnancy was enough for her: Clark-

Bruce: No, Lois, I've got this. You want more children, Clark?

Clark: Uh.

Bruce, calling over his shoulder: Hey, Dickie... Just wondering, did you ever give your brother back his Superman autograph?

Jason: What. Wait, what?

Dick: It was, hold on, hold on! Don't be mad.

Jason, advancing aggressively: You stole my shit- You stole a DEAD BOY'S superhero memorabilia?

Dick: It was to remember you by.

Jason: WELL I'M SURE YOU REMEMBER ME PLENTY NOW, GIVE IT BACK.

Dick: You don't even want it! You haven't once asked about it or-

Jason, throwing himself at Dick: BUT IT'S MINE!

Bruce, to Lois and Clark: Do you need another demonstration?

Clark: Ah, no...

Lois: Yes.

Bruce: I thought so. Tim!

Tim: I've done nothing you can prove.

Bruce: Oh, I know. Did you get your camera back?

Tim: My what.

Bruce: Damian had it out in the garden, playing with the settings earlier and I just wanted to know if he put it back.

Tim, stalking away: I'll skin him, I really will this time.

Bruce: Don't do it in front of Jon!

Bruce, to Lois and Clark: You know what, I can give one of them to you if you change your mind.

[whorrorbellee]

CHERRYWAVES:TWO

Ghostface! Danny Johnson x f!reader

Danny just had to save you. He just had to save your poor sad life. Knocking your sad frail body against fake plastic tiles. Shoving his fingers down your throat like a kid fishing for pennies. What was it you wrote in your diary? Your shiny white masked knight in a black shroud? Well how cute. Maybe it was time he kept a pet around.Just to play or course.18+ : eventual smut, themes of suicide (reader attempts), selfharm, sexual content, murder, themes of violence

ao3 one masterlist

‘Want to see something gross?’ is spelled out across in blue biro on a post-it note, the bright yellow clings to your computer screen. You look up at Jed whose eyebrow is raised at you. Eyebrows furrowing in return. You watch him spin giddily in his chair, black converse tapping against the floor. You fight the urge to smirk, lips pursing at his actions. Pretending to think about it. 

You shrug and nod. “Come on then”, Jed rises, stepping over to your desk and grabbing your hand. He pulls you over to the dark room and now you're seriously confused. 

You step inside, cloaked in red, he pulls the light switch, squinting as your eyes adjust to the harsh light, you wait in anticipation. Jed smiles down at you and points to the photos hanging over on the wall. You look over. The photos are in black and white so it’s hard to make out what's actually going on. Black spills over the floor. Police are standing over something. It's blackened on the paper and you look up at him. ‘What is it?” 

“Look closer” He pushes your back until your nose nearly hits the page, the smell of chemicals still on the page. You strain your head back. Eyes focusing on the photo’s.

 And then you gasp. Your body tenses. It's a dead body. Blood spilling out like ink spilled over the paper, it's hard to see in the alley way, but the way Jed has shot the photos you can make up the paleing eyes of the victim “Jesus, Jed! Why were you there?” your eyes search the pictures in front of you.

He folds his arms over his chest,“Adam was all uneasy with reporting the murders so Mike asked if I wanted to stop writing fluff pieces and start on real crime” he pauses ,“They think it's him, the killer” 

“Why?”,you shake your head, and then look at another photo, a detective stands at a wall, gloved hand pressing into the bricks, he looks pained, as if he knew the guy.

“Well, the same weapon was used” he mutters, leaning against the wall,“the coroners say the weapon was a knife about inch wide and seven inches long, matches the same stab wounds as the Small brothers”

You sigh, looking at Jed he fiddles with the buttons of his shirt a bit, you take in his outfit. Black Dickies, white shirt, you wonder what he wears when he's home. “Do you think he did this? In an investigative journalist way?”

“No” 

“Huh, why?” your eyebrows raise.

“I'm not sure, I mean first he attacked two guys right outside their house, that seems planned out. But this? well”.You watch as Jed thinks, his hand stroking his chin as his head turns. Your back brushes the cold wall. “I think the killer plans his shit out, he's smart. Why risk getting caught killing some kid in an alleyway? And it is florida, it's probably some gang crime” 

You nod, scraping your shoes against the floor. “So the cafe piece is your last normal, happy article huh?” you smile. 

He grins in return, “oh yeah, time to write about some horrid decrepit loner killer that probably jerks it to porn in his mom's basement”

“Oh! I don't know, maybe he has his own basement”

ANOTHER FOUND DEAD

Jed olson

Junior journalist 

Photo by Jed olson 

See page four for more details 

On the late hours of Friday the 11th. The body of twenty-two year old Jack Stevens was found by a passer by. Jack had been out on run that night, his girlfriend Stella had reported his running route would take him past the same alleyway he was found in. Stella voiced concern about him not coming back that night with a friend over the phone, and was later confirmed to be correct when the police had arrived at her house, “He was always so quiet, he kept to himself, it was just him, the dog and I most nights, unless we played a board game round my mums, it wasn't like him to just run out and not say anything, so when he didn't come back after an hour i knew something was wrong” 

Police have reported the same weapon was used on this victim as the Small brothers, is the work of a serial killer at large? Or are crime rates really increasing in this little town ? 

If you have any information please contact Detective Moore at the RPD +(000) 000 000

Jack’s funeral will be held at Jameson and Jones funeral home at 11am on sunday, any friends and family will be welcome to join. 

“Do you wanna come for drinks on wednesday?” Jed’s leaning over your computer. You're trying to get the brightness right on a photo of girl scouts that raised money for a memorial bench for the Small brothers. The deaths had really affected the small town and the boy scouts had shut down after only a couple of weeks when no one wanted to take over. Now the group had formed into a disjointed version where baking and making crossbows happened in the same hall, inches apart from each other.

“Who's going?” you look around the office.

“Well, Me and a couple of my friends, then Mike said he'd stop by for a beer, and Linda said she has book club at 8 so she’ll stop by for a glass of wine, and then maybe you?” he grins. 

“Yeah okay! Straight after work?” 

He nods. “Great!”

You get home early that night after taking some photos of a new monument set up in the local park for some random pioneer. Your apartment is a mess, you quickly boil some pasta and shove all your clothes into a basket to take down to the laundry room. You change your sheets while you're at it. Then pour some tomato and cheese sauce over the pasta that's been drained off all water. 

You eat quickly, grabbing your keys and a book then cradle the laundry basket to your hip and walk down to the basement floor. The stairs are a pain in the ass when you’re on the fifth floor, but you know it's the reason your rent is so cheap, every other place with an elevator is expensive due to costs. 

The washing machine beats into the wall, you've got about 30 minutes left on the wash cycle and then you can put it in the dryer for twenty. Usually you'd come back up to your apartment, but it had felt like someone was watching you recently, even with your blinds shut, it had felt like someone was so close to you. You could almost feel their breath against your neck. It had only started a couple of weeks ago, the feeling of being watched, and now the murders had started it felt like there was danger so close by. Especially after your little visiter. You wonder if he was stopping by to keep an eye on you or if he was too busy with the murders.

Danny Johnson sits in his black truck, hands beating against the steering wheel as the music thumps through the speakers. Sally Hughes takes a great big bite of a burger and then wipes off the ketchup that has spilled over her son's arm. Danny watches as her perfect blonde hair bounces as she laughs. He takes a big swig of his milkshake and shovels fries into his mouth, he chews quickly. It’s like watching something out of a sitcom, the window in the diner is his own personal TV screen.

“And then this alien comes out of nowhere with this claw ! And rips this girl into bloody bits! And yeah it's stolen from Alien or whatever, but the blood Jed! The Blood wasn't clear or milky and sweet like most B movies, it looked so real. Like it was a deep red and clung to the actors.” Piper chews her burger before carrying on, shes perched against the door and the seat, forcing  her self into the nook of the car so she can get a better look at Jed  “I know you hate that shit and prefer like grotty serial killer, giallo’s or whatever but you have to see it, its like a fucking snuff film, you know? Filmed on a camcorder and CCTV footage.” 

Piper was sort of a plain looking girl, the only discernible quality she had was the long blonde hair that fell to her waist, she was twenty three years old and worked at the arthouse cinema about thirty minutes away. They had met at a showing of the red shoes , it wasn't exactly Danny's kind of movie, but he had wanted to check out the area anyway. The discussion of movies had ended in him walking her home, then they would meet every week for a coffee and a mid-day movie where she worked. He had thought, what's a friend in all this? Might as well get an alibi right? But then she had pulled him in for a kiss outside a book store on main and Danny wasn't looking for anything relationship wise, he much rather save his energy for murder and stalking, not sex. Danny had felt nothing. It was like paper against paper. But a girlfriend was normal. A girlfriend meant the guys at the Gazette would stop asking if he wanted to take their daughters out. 

Danny had soon realised his mistake when he saw you, glossy eyes, someone who wasn't going to chat his ear off about shitty horror movies. Someone interesting. Someone who could love Danny for himself. He hadn't exactly thought about murdering Piper, unless he wanted to get caught, but sometimes after laying beside her soft snoring body he had thought about faking her suicide, something that wouldn't hurt her. As much as he didn't care, breaking up would be far easier.

“Jed? Are you listening?” Piper slurps up her cherry coke, fiddling with her rings “you keep looking over at that kid, are you okay?” Piper mutters, voice hinting at concern, her hand reaches out to his arm. 

“I just thought he was bleeding, but he spilt ketchup down his arm” Jed shrugs, he smiles back at her and then looks at the time.Ten pm, it's not like she had a curfew or anything but Jed had special plans, he had to pop by his little pets home for a quick check up, and then, if Sally was an all clear. He would rip her to shreds on his knife. “I gotta write some stuff up at the office, is it okay if I drop you back?” 

“Yeah, of course” Piper smiles, she collects the garbage from the truck and shovels it into a paper bag. “I'll just pop this in the bin.” 

Jed watches Piper shuffle out the truck, her red hair swaying in the light breeze as she approaches the fry shaped bin, his head turns. Dark eye’s settle on Sally Hughes as she zips up her pink crushed velvet tracksuit, she takes little Joe's hands on her own and wipes them with a wet wipe. She swings her camel purse over her shoulder as she holds Joe’s tiny hand. Pulling him out of the fast food joint and into her white car. 

He watches you through the window, sliding the plastic washing basket on the floor and slumping into the couch. Your hair falls down the side as your leg lifts onto the back, then your other leg. He can tell you're bored. Your phone rings and your head shrugs to the side to the noise, you never really got phone calls. Unless it was important. 

You lift yourself off the sofa and trudge over to the phone. Taking the receiver off the wall, your finger loops round the thick coils. “Hello?” you mutter. Danny can just make out your expression on your face. He doesn't speak as he holds the phone to his ear. 

You look confused. You roll your eyes at the obvious silence. And slam the phone back onto the wall, pulling a cupboard door open and slinking out a bottle of whiskey. It's the same one he saw laying on the floor that night. You pour some in a glass and knock it back. He calls again, watching your angry stomps to the phone, you pull it up to your ear. “Hello?” you sigh and cradle your face. “Jesus christ, just fucking say something” your voice spills out over the phone in a hard hush. 

“Watch yourself” Danny mutters, He hangs up and watches you cradle the receiver against your ear. You look down and then towards the bathroom. The phone falls as you shuffle your feet towards the door, it swings angrily into the wall. You come back into the lounge, knife in hand. A hunting knife, your dads old one. Buck 110, 3.75 stainless steel blade, with a wooden handle, lockback locking mechanism. He had already felt the weight of the knife in his hand, smaller than the one he used himself. Lighter too, he had stood in your bathroom, mask off in front of your mirror and traced his neck with the blade, wondering if you'd ever have the guts to slice his own throat when he would inevitably break in for a quick catch up. 

You pull the blade out and look down at the sharp edge. Walking over to the phone to hang it back up. You pull your jeans down, sliding them over your thighs in a quick recession. Standing over close to the window and then tracing over your thighs with the knife. Danny wishes he had brought his camera. You look out the window. Eyebrows furrowing. Your eyes are searching for something. Him. But Danny slinks into the shadows. His white mask encased in darkness. He pulls out his notepad and writes down something quickly. 

Lips pursing as you shrug your shirt off over your head. You raise an eyebrow and then trace the knife up your arms. Then down your chest. You sigh. Rolling your eyes until you hold the knife against your throat. Gripping tightly. He watches your hands pale around the knife's handle and you push into your throat he sees a dribble of blood fall onto your collarbone. He waits. Your eyes tear up and the knife clatters to the ground. 

You look towards the phone on your wall. Shaking your head and grabbing your clothes from the floor. You walk into your bedroom. Danny stand’s slowly. Clawing at the outside of your window to lift it up. He slides in carefully. Moving with ease against the creaky wooden floor. He picks the knife up from the ground, and pierces the blade through the note, watching blood seep into the picture, He hears your shuffles through your hallway. Taking a quick exit, he watches you from the window standing just in plain sight. You lift the note from the floor. He watches your chest move up and down quickly. Your mouth twitching at the sides as he watches you unfold the letter and close the buck with one hand. Blue ink is smudged across the letter. 

‘Thanks for the show’ 

You don't look up.

[haveihitanerve]

Can't You Hear Me?

I'm Not Coming Home.

“Never did like a tattletale.” Bruce faintly registered Alfred’s muttered, “oh gods.” Faintly registered dicks wail of pain as he started to cry. He faintly, numbly, registered the gentle hand Alfred placed on his shoulder. “Master Bruce?” Alfred’s voice was soft. Dicks sobs had quieted, but could still be heard softly. “Bruce.” Alfred shook him softly. “I’m gonna kill him.” Bruce rasped. He dimly registered that Dicks sobs had stopped entirely and barely noticed as Alfred’s hand slipped from his shoulder as he stood. “I am going to kill him.” Bruce repeated. He walked to the Batmobile, grabbing the crowbar that he had leaned against it for repairs. “I am going to kill him.” 

Dick stood as well. “Master Bruce,” Alfred began. “This is insanity!” “Insanity?” Bruce asked, his voice deathly calm. “Insanity?” Bruce breathed. “He killed my son!!!” He roared. “Tortured and murdered him while I did nothing!” He was breathing heavily. “My son is dead. Because of him.” Alfred seemed to be thinking of an argument. “But your rule-“ “to hell with my rule!” Bruce bellowed. “My son is dead because of him. Very few things have kept me from snapping these last few years.” He looked his butler dead in the eye. “You.” His eyes drifted to his oldest. “Dickie.” He swallowed. “And Jason. But Jason’s not here anymore? Is he? The line you three defend has an opening. And I’m going to take it.” Alfred swallowed. 

“I’m coming too.” Dick said. “No!” Bruce whirled to him with unexpected force. Dick flinched, but stood his ground. “He killed my brother.” He said, voice hard. “And he has killed my son.” Bruce said back, voice just as hard. “I will not allow him to take another.” Dick would’ve kept fighting. Pleading to be allowed to come. Had his fathers voice not cracked on the last word. “Alright.” He relented. Bruce nodded once, placing a gentle hand on his son's shoulder. “I love you chum.” He whispered. “I love you too dad.” Dick mumbled. Bruce headed to the door. “Master Bruce.” Alfred said softly. “Aren’t you taking the car?” Bruce shook his head, still walking up the stairs. “No. This is a job for Bruce Wayne. So that that freak knows whose son he killed. And who he snapped.” He wrenched open the front door. Blue eyes blinked up at him. Blue eyes like Dicks. And Jason’s. “Oh. Hi there Mr. Bruce Wayne. Or should I say Batman? I’m Timothy Drake.” 

[puffyducks]

DCRC Week #9 (Part 2)

Oh shit!! Is these ducks on the road??? YOU BET YOUR SWEET ASS THEY ARE!!! Anyways we're reading Ducks on the Road now which I'm super excited for because it features not one but THREE characters we've barely seen in the book club so far!!

This comic is LONG (I guess it's technically like 5 comics but we're reading them all in one go) so I'll probably end up having to extend this post with a few reblogs! So look out for those.

They're in.... VIRGINIA???? NOOOOOOOOOOO (person with irrational hatred of Virginia cause my whole extended family lives there so I have to travel there every holiday and it just kinda sucks there idk what to tell you. Also if Virginia is for lovers why is it called VIRGINia hm?? riddle me that BATMAN)

SCROOGE PAY YOUR FUCKING WORKERS also I love this outfit and haircut for Daisy she looks so cute here

Does this imply that Donald was living in Virginia beforehand because the implication that I'm only 1 state away from Donald is kind of frightening ngl. also Virginia sucks.

Did they hire Tuskerninni's cousin what's going on here. Actually this is the 70s it could probably BE Tuskerninni in an earlier life

I'm so used to talking about DT17 Gyro within my circles that I see Regular Gyro and it's like oh right!! He actually has joy and whimsy in his heart!! He's actually just a funny invention man who has totally not accidentally committed any atrocities in Tokyolk before!!!! He's also changed his hair color like four times

DON'T EAT THE GARBAGE SANDWICH WHAT ARE YOU DOOIIIIING

can somebody please help him he looks like an anxious chihuahua

How do you even leave piles of money on the floor to be blown away like that HELP I'm so stressed. Dickie get it together girl.

shoutout to these two and their cool accompanying text

HOW IS SHE SUCH A PUBLIC MENACE SHE'S LITERALLY JUST KINDA MID AT PLAYING GUITAR

She kissed him then IMMEDIATELY friendzoned him it was like a speedrun holy shit

Did he just headcanon Dickie and Daisy as lesbians? Because me too.

WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT AFTER AN EXAM WHY'D THEY DO HIM LIKE THAT 😭😭😭 nice presentation you LONELY IDIOT.

DICKIE YOU CAN'T PAINT A FUCKIGN RENTAL VAN OH MY GOD

Ah yes my favorite sign on the highway. The big one that just says "WEST"

YOU GUYS I AM SO STRESSED DICKIE IS GONNA GET THEM ALL KILLED IN A HORRIFIC ROAD ACCIDENT. ALSO HOW DID THEY ALREADY GET ALL THE WAY TO OKLAHOMA-

NVM THEY'RE NOT GONNA CRASH THEY'RE GONNA GET SHOT BY THIS GUY FOR HARBORING CRIMINALS

DAISY YOU CAN'T SAY THAT WORD. also i want these two guys dead they were mean to her >:(

GET A JOB STAY AWAY FROM HER

dork ass nerd and his dork ass math pajamas. and what I assume is a plush of Albert Einstein or something. NERD.

Oh ok so we're just not gonna acknowledge what they do about their tires being gone. Ok. No it's fine I guess that's like irrelevant information they probably just like... found some new tires on the side of the road or something..... yeah....

Anyways this is the part where I briefly end the post so I can attach more reactions with a reblog!

[maineshewrote]

I-just-started-s4e4-thoughts:

I can see how Oliver's least offensive robe has had its effect on Mabel's nightclothes style.

I just love the character/relationship development we get to witness, going from Oliver wondering if they have reached a point in their friendship when they can turn up at each others' place in nightclothes to the trio casually starting every other day by recapping their case while still in their nightclothes.

And just as we are told, literally, by the victim that she was not the intended victim (see: Tap in), the investigation is sent in a whole new direction, and lo and behold—we have use for a second murder board. I'm not complaining, let's not minimize Sazz's part in this case.

A moment of appreciation for the score that is always evolving and utterly beautiful and still very much tied to the original tunes of the show.

I feel like the rare blood type is going to be significant at some point. This is the second time I've taken notice of that, and they don't usually do that unless it's important. Sort of feels as wooden as that lighthouse, if you get my drift. If this is about Sazz refusing (or being unable, more likely) to be a blood donor and someone getting revenge on her for someone else dying because of that, it's either going to be heart-breaking or lame or I'm just rambling.

Oh! But how did they find out they had the same blood type? How about a nice traumatic bonding moment flashback when one of them had to save the other by being a blood donor? Now I'm really getting carried away. The fanfiction opportunities are piling.

Ugh, Oliver's obsession with stalking Loretta was bound to happen but it's so bad, please stop. They're obviously head over heels in love, this is just gonna make them unnecessarily fall out. About that menacing arm, I would love it if it turned out to be Dickie, but the man's chin didn't really look like him in the Instagram picture.

It's interesting that the picture they used for Loretta's Instagram is not a picture of her but of Meryl. That is, Meryl's there with her own hair, not her Loretta wig. (Evidence: much shorter hair, no bangs) Did you know Loretta's is the same wig she wore in A Series of Unfortunate Events (where I thought the hair was awesome)?

Why are Howard's sweaters getting progressively worse? I didn't think it could get much worse from the absolutely faceless yellow thing we saw last episode, but this duck is unfurling.

And where's Jonathan? Howard's saying he hates being alone, so what's his boyfriend doing? Is he perhaps going to work like normal working adults, unlike Howard?

Mabel being the guys' keeper in public, while the guys are utterly oblivious to making themselves appear as ridiculous as possible, love it.

BEN! The way I screamed. That is bloody lovely! Of course it's a double but this is so sweet, it's like meeting an old friend again, even though through most of season 3 I didn't even like Ben. (And I mean most of the times I watched that season. I think I only really liked him the last couple of times around.)

The amount of times the trio has had to witness Ben rise from the dead is staggering. Let's make it a running theme, every season a brief Ben come-back. Can I hear a wahoo?

Peak comedy in Oliver's momentary expression of consideration when Glen said that you can't come back from the dead, knowing full well that's just what Ben did.

The irony. Ben being given rat poison and his double seeing rats.

I LOVE that Howard is auditioning with the lines from Oliver's stage dream sequence. Canonically makes no sense (although Oliver could've used the lines in the podcast) but such a pleasure to watch.

New era for the penthouse spotted. Still unsure which decor I liked best, but it's not this one.

Melon is giving people-pleasing Hollywood Cinda Canning. She should meet the real deal.

This unfulfilling relationship that Sazz was trying to get out of better be with Jan. My boy Charles has had to deal with way too much undeserved guilt this season.

The escalation of the horror-movie-like Paradise dream to the absolutely soul-crushing tragic drama of Charles's heavy conscience was both genius and gut-wrenching. There was so much emotional nuance in that little scene, especially in Sazz's light manner of reply, in the meaningful way she portrayed not only Sazz's stubbornly positive attitude towards life but also the heartbreaking tendency in many good people to bottle up their vulnerability behind a positive mask, even and especially when people who love them unintentionally hurt them. I was deeply touched by this scene. All the while my heart is constantly aching for Charles who really doesn't deserve all this guilt. Yes, we have been led to believe he was pretty egoistic and distant in his glory days, but we have to remember that these negative qualities that we've been told about have been exaggerated due to Charles's own insecurity about himself.

No comment on the Oh Hells, nicely wrapped up for now.

It's actually so sweet of Charles to do the funeral, but there was always a chance it was going to be some big unusual stunt.

Well, look how the turntables. Paul Rudd knocking Charles out this time around.

Incredible how Irish Ben Glenroy in a bar fight could move me to tears.

Save me, heart-warming flashback scene.

I said save me, not break my heart all over again!

Sazz saying, "Let's keep this under our hat," because they basically share the same Brazzos hat. But why do these two Brazzoses' police badges have different numbers?

This show just keeps on giving. Aphrodite is back!

Okay, bit dramatic for someone named after a fruit. Not to pour cold water over this entirely unconvincing threat, but Melon's probably just going to laugh this off and have a silly explanation for being there. No clue here, people, let's move on.

But did you notice the music? Seriously more exciting than Melon pointing a gun was the theme playing during her threat, which was the same one that played when the trio found Ben falling in through the elevator ceiling (You Gotta Be F'n Kidding Me). What a lovely last nod to Ben's memory!

Sweet move on the production's part for only mentioning special guest star Paul Rudd at the end of the episode, otherwise the surprise would have been ruined.

[ticklish-n-stuff]

Rough night

Hehehehehe :3 @nataliewritez

I hope you like my gift to you~

___________________________________________

Natalie x Grayson

Lee: Natalie

Ler: Grayson

Warnings: Tickles!

___________________________________________

Natalie heard the door open which could only signal one thing.

"Dickie!" she quickly got up from where she sat, running over to her partner before stopping dead on her tracks. "Dick? What's wrong...?" her eyes drooped as instantly took notice of Dick's solemn expression.

He let out a shaky breath as he took off his mask. "Rough night..." he simply spoke as he dragged his legs over to you, picking you up with ease and carrying you over to the couch, where he settled you on top of his lap.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm here now" you smiled reassuringly as you caressed your soft fingers across his cheek. He couldn't help but smile back at the sweet gesture.

"Thank you, darling" he wrapped his arms tightly around your waist, as his face nuzzled into the crook of your neck. His smooth hait brushing against sensitive skin.

"Pfft! Ehehe! Dick, that tickles..!" Natalie chortled out, trying to turtle away from the contact, but Nightwin's grip was too stubborn to get out of.

"I know. Maybe that's what I was going for...~" he grinned up at you cheekily before peppering yojr skin with soft, delicate kisses. Leaving a tinge of ticklishness behind with each peck.

"Nohoho! You jeherk!" Natalie tried pushing his face away, giggling all the while. Her laughter always managed to bring Dick out of his funk, no matter how hopeless it seemed.

He let out a mock gasp at your insult "Jerk?! Who are you fooling? We both know you like it~". His smile was innocent, and yet Natalie could feel her cheeks slowly turning the same shade as her hair.

"W-well, whatever..." you pouted playfully and crossed your arms.

"Oh? Does that mean I can keep going?~".

Before you could reply, Dick's fingers had started scribbling up and down your back as he blew small, 'lil raspberries all over your neck. His face lighting up as you squealed and wriggled all over his lap. This was his favorite way to spend those rought nights after patrol, and I think yours too~

___________________________________________

[egglygreg]

A while back I posted a list of Australian-isms I've been collecting for my story Strahliana, and, well, the list has grown quite a bit since then lol!

Here's what I've got so far with mostly no context:

Chucking a wobbly

Chucking a tanty

Bargey bum

Chin-wag

Going for a feed/have a feed

What a rip off

That's cooked

You'd better get a wriggle on

My dogs are barking (sore feet/toes)

Bloody beaut

You little beauty/ripper

Scarn on?

Cheeky mate

Flat out like a lizard drinking

Chook

Rock up

Tell him he's dreaming

Get decked

Howryagarn?

How ya travelling?

Too easy

Legend

Cheers mate

Darl' (darling)

Rubbish

Arvo

No drama

Snags

Swagman

Tah (thanks, give)

Sanga

Won't be a min

Far out!

She'll be right

Spruiking (promote, advertise, talk something up)

I'm deadset serious

Pull the other one

A few roos loose in the top paddock

Cool bananas

Heaps good

Crow eater

What are you on about?

Had a bit of a blue (a fight)

Derro, feral

Had a prang

Bucketing down

Old mate (derogatory)

Hard yakka

Onya

Go for ya life

Too easy

Whack it on

Cooee

Carrying on like a pork chop

Full as a goog

Cobber

Drongo

There ya go

What an absolute wombat

Silly galah

Bob's your uncle

3 dog night (it's bloody cold)

Absolutely rank (smelly)

Off like a bucket of prawns in the hot sun

Dunny

Stone the crows (surprise)

Spit the dummy

Have a kip

Brekkie

Oi!

No worries

Tucker

Have a gander

Agro

Cushie

Chuck a sickie

Cutting crook

Rug up

Stoked

D'ya reckon?

Shrapnel

Redback- $20 note

Whaler- $10 note

Fair crack of the whip

Have a whinge

My shout

Ripsnorter

Better than a kick up the bum

Pull the wool over their eyes

Spinning a yarn

Dodgy

Mosey- on

Billabong

On Ya Bronya

Brolga (long legs)

Bonza

Gone walkabout

Rightie oh

Ridgy-didge

Mucked up

Fair go

Crankie

Gnarly

Don't cross me mate

What a cracker

Dickie- on the blink

Not on your life

Top notch

Zonked

Dead as a door nail

Chockers, chock a block

Kicked the bucked

Daggy

Doozie

Nose out of joint

Browsing

Knock it off

Being fleeced

Done a runner

I'm rapt

I'm stuffed

Scrubs up well

Doona

Bluey (red hair)

Righty-oh

Dork

Dipstick

Fang it

Bushfire

Bum nuts

Shut ya gob

Spewing

Frumpy

Fossicking

Hooroo

Wouldn't know him from a bar of soap

Loose unit

Mrs Kafoops (bit pompous or self important)

Nark

Gronk

Cutting crook

Sesh (session)

Yonks

Bin chicken

Havin a sook

Chunder

Getting flogged

What a mad dog

You muppet

Munted

Me missus

Dobbing

(I'm not collecting true swearwords and really crude sayings, so none of these are particularly offensive. Also some of these may be words that are normal in the general English language but mean something else in Aussie English when used in a different context, and a few are way out of fashion and haven't been widely used since the 60s. Also some are regional!)

[crimsonknightly]

Oh sweetheart do you really think I'm dumb enough to use something that could be tracked? I'm not Dickie dear.

I'm not on a computer.

You’re still dead. Every time you insult someone I love, your death gets more painful

[final-girl96]

Firefly Chapter Sixteen

Fall 2012

"I want to go!" I yelled. "No! You're stayin' here. It's too dangerous for you to be out there right now!." I scoffed, throwing my hands in the air. "That's such bullshit, Joel! You know damn well I can handle myself." He walked over to me, grabbing my face in his hands, "I can't let you go. Those men out there are looking for you." He said, pointing towards the door.

I may or may not have pissed a couple of people off. Okay, I definitely pissed people off. But the guy got a little too touchy for my liking so…I broke his nose and then shot him very close to his tiny little dick. "Let me take care of this, okay?"

Firefly Base 2023

There was a firefly fight, other smugglers against the Fireflies. It was a damn mess. I was crouched down, hidden behind a wall as some asshole shot at me. I peaked around the corner, gun in hand and shot before running across the hall. I ducked my head when someone shot at me and quickly ducked into a room. I heard a creak behind me and stood up, spinning around, and pointing my gun at a man.

"You!" I yelled, gun pointed at me. I raised an eyebrow. "Do I know you?" I asked. "You're the fucking bitch that shot me!" He hissed. I made it look like I was thinking while still keeping an eye on him. "Gotta be more specific. I've shot a lot of men," I said. "You damn near shot my dick off!" I laughed and pointed a finger at him. :oh, my god! Nicky-No-Dicky! What's up man? How's it been?"

He charged at me, barreling into me, and knocking me to the floor. My gun flew out of my hand, sliding across the floor. "Ah! Fucking bastard!" My head snapped to the left when he punched me in the cheek. "Asshole! Didn't your mother ever teach you not to hit women!" I brought my knee up into his crotch and flipped around to try and grab my gun. "Fucking cunt! Come here!" His hand wrapped around my ankle, flipping me back around. I bent my other leg and snapped it forward right into his face. "Get…off…of…me!"

"Get off of her asshole!" Ellie jumped on his back, sinking her knife into his shoulder right beside his neck. He screamed, knocking her off and turning towards, pointing his gun at her. She ducked when my gun went off and a bullet pierced his head. "Holy shit! Fuck! What the hell?!" I went over to her and pulled her down. "Be fucking quiet, damnit!" I hissed. "I thought I told you to stay put?"

"Good thing I didn't," she sassed, pointing to the dead man on the floor. "Just stay here. I'm going to see if there is anyone else alive." I quickly and quietly moved out of the room and checked to see if anyone else made it. The hall was littered with people, dead people. I continued to check around.

I came around the corner to see Ellie on the floor with a gun pointed at her. I didn't even notice who was there at first. Then I noticed Tess and looked at the person who had Ellie at gunpoint. Ellie looked over and made eye contact with me. That's when Joel turned his head, his eyes widening. I lifted my gun and walked over to Tess, putting the end of the barrel to her head. She froze, looking at Joel. "Drop your fucking gun or I put a bullet through her skull."

He couldn't do anything but look at me. I've avoided running into him at all costs. I had people around the QZ that gave me a heads up every time they saw him. "Ellie, you okay?" I asked, looking at her. She nodded her head, looking between me and Joel. "You want to stop pointing that at me?" Tess asked. "Shut the fuck up!" I told her, not moving my gun.

Ellie went to grab her knife and that's when Joel snapped out of it. His foot came down on it and he reluctantly looked away from me to look at Marlene. "Ellie. Ellie!" She looked over at Marlene and she held her hand out. "It's okay." Ellie looked back at me and I nodded. "I told you stay fucking put! That's the second damn time you didn't listen!" She shrugged and muttered something.

"What do you need a car battery for?" Joel asked, Marlene. Ellie went for her knife again but Joel pointed his gun at her. That only pissed me off. I shoved Tess' head with my gun before walking over and knocking his hand away. Bending down to check on Ellie. "You sure you're okay?" I asked and she nodded. Joel looked down at me, gun still pointed down at her. :get that fucking thing out of my goddamn face!" I pushed his hand again and stood up with Ellie.

He looked at me and then at Ellie. "Don't! Not her," Marlene said. Everyone had their guns out. I pointed mine back at Tess who had pointed towards Marlene. Marlene had hers pointed at Joel, who raised his gun back at Ellie. It was a fucking ahit show. "Point it at me," Marlene told him. He slowly did as she said and she lowered her gun.

"And to answer your question, I need it for a better reason than you do. No offense, but Tommy's just one man. It's our business to know things," she said. "To know things. You're the cause of it. You turned my own brother against me," Joel said. "Okay, Joel."

"That was a lot of gunfire, FEDRA's going to be on the way." The woman who I could never remember the name of said. "We were going to move Ellie outta the zone tonight. But we won't make it anywhere like this. Not for a while anyway. And yn can't do it herself. So now I'm thinking, you're going to help her." My head snapped over at her.

"Excuse me? No fucking way!"

"The hell we are."

"I'm not going with them if yn not!"

Ellie, me, and Joel all said at the same time. Joel looked back at Tess. "Tess, we don't have time for this," he said. "Who is she?" Tess asked. "To you? She's cargo," Marlene said. "We don't smuggle people. Sorry," Joel said. "I can do it." Marlene looked beside her, "Kim…" Oh! That's her name! "You don't have a fuckin' ear on your fucking head. Could you please?" She hissed. "I can get her there by myself!" I said. "No, you can't, yn!"

"Let's get one thing fucking straight, Marlene…I am not one of your little bitch ass fireflies. I've gotten in and out of the zone undetected hundreds of times with people!" I said. Joel looked over at me, his mouth opening and then shutting. He better keep it fucking shut. Eventually it was agreed that Tess and Joel would accompany me to get Ellie out of the Zone and to the old State House.

I stopped when we approached the apartment. Tess opened the door and went inside, holding it open. Ellie walked in and she waited for me to go in next. "I'm not fucking stupid. You want to talk about the plan you get to include me." She sighed and shut the door. "What the fuck!" Ellie yelled. Tess held the door shut and looked at Joel. "What's the plan?" He asked, looking at me briefly.

"There's not a pot of options. There's the short way or the long way," Tess said. "The short way is pretty much…it wasn't great the last time I was out," I said. "That leaves the long way. If things look bad, we'll come up with something," Joel said. My stomach was in fucking knots being so close to him after ten years of avoiding him. "You can do whatever the fuck you want after we get to the State House," I said ans walked into the apartment.

When I walked in everything was the exact same as when I left and smelled strongly of Joel. "Ellie, don't touch stuff that's not yours, please." I said, taking a book out of her hands just as Joel walked in, shutting and locking the door. I looked at the book knowing that it held the paper Frank had given me before we left Lincoln. "So who's Bill and Frank?" Ellie asked. Joel looked over at me from where he sat on the couch.

Ellie looked between us, "the radio's a smuggling code, right? '60s song, they don't have anything new, '70s there's something new. What's 80s?" Joel came over to me and gently took the book out of my hands and threw it on the table. He went back over to the couch and laid down. "What're you doing?" Ellie asked. "Killin' time." She looked at me and I shrugged.

"Well, what am I supposed to do?" She asked. "I'm sure you'll figure that out." He opened his eyes and looked at me, "bed is yours if you want to get some sleep before we leave." Ellie grabbed the book off the table and went to sit in the chair by the window. "Your watch is broken." He never took that watch off. It was the last and only thing he had of Sarah. "Ellie, please." She plopped down in the chair and I went to sit at the table.

Night slowly took over and it began to rain. "So, you guys know each other." I looked over at Ellie with a raised eyebrow. "What makes you think that?" I asked. She held up a polaroid picture of me and Joel from when I found an old polaroid camera in a house on our way here to Boston. He wasn't very happy when I made him hold still So Tommy could take the picture.

"Damnit, Ellie." I got up and took it from her. "Where did you get this?" I asked. She pointed to the book she set beside the radio. "It was in there; in the back." I had completely forgotten about this picture. But the fact Joel still had it made my heart stutter. "Mine your business," I told her and went back to the table. Joel was mumbling in his sleep no doubt having the same dream he always had of that very first night.

More time passed and it got darker out. The rain was coming down harder now. "You mumble in your sleep." I looked to see Joel had woken up. He sat up and looked around the room until he found me. I looked away from him to look at Ellie when the butterfly on the widow caught my eye. We had put that there for Sarah, just like they had one on the window in the kitchen back in Texas.

"I've never been on the other side of the wall. Look how dark it is," Ellie said. "You guys go out there a lot?" She asked. She looked over at me first and I shrugged. "Only when I need to," I told her. "I guess," Joel said. "When was the last time?" She asked. "Maybe a year. What's it matter?" He asked. She looked at me and I stood up. "Like six months ago." I walked over to her and knelt down. "But you know where to go. So we're going to be okay?"

She looked between me and Joel. I looked behind me to Joel already looking at me. "Yeah," we both said. The way he was sitting with his legs spread, one arm on the back of the couch the other between his legs made me feel a way I haven't felt in a long time. "Look at me," I said, turning back to Ellie. She looked down at me with worried eyes. "I'm not going to let anything happen to you. I promise." She nodded her head and I stood up, leaning down and giving the top of her head a quick kiss.

"So what's the deal with you anyway? You some kind of bigwigs daughter or somethin'?" Joel asked. She looked at me where I stood back by the table. "Something like that." Joel looked at me and I looked down at the floor. Silence fell over the room. "Oh, the radio came on when you were sleeping," Ellie said. I looked at her confused because I knew it didn't. "What? What was the song?" He asked. "He kept saying, like, "wake me up before you go-go " ?" Joel looked down, "shit."

Ellie smiled and I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. "Gotcha. '80s means trouble. Code broken," she said. "Ellie!" I said. Joel stood up and I quickly stood in front of him. "Don't think about it." He looked at me and then looked down at my neck. When I looked down my necklace was out over my shirt. He went to reach for it but Tess came in. She told us about the spot under Lancaster and we got ready to leave.

Everything was going good until we were spotted. We tried bribing the guard but he scanned us. Then Ellie stabbed him and he had a gun pointed at me and her. I had shoved her behind me and that's when Joel charged him. He landed punch after punch and deep inside of me I knew where the rage had come from. I kept Ellie behind me and when Joel looked back at me I nodded my head.

Then Tess had to pick the fucking tester and see that it said positive. "No! No! No! I'm not infected!" Ellie gripped the back of my jacket and I pointed my gun at Tess. "She's not infected. We don't have time for this shit we have to go now!" She reluctantly dropped it and we ran into the pitch darkness of a destroyed city full of infected.

[cleromancy]

i really hate that jason telling dick he killed tim was in bftc bc that could have been so good but instead it was bftc

extended bitching under the cut 🤪

wait actually FIRST OF ALL i just want to say that if jason genuinely believed he straight up killed tim with a single rusty old batarang that broke in a really unfortunate way that would be so funny. like oh my god bruce did you replace me with a child made of actual GLASS?

anyway lmao. like. obviously i reject the entire premise of bftc and the execution of literally everything was so completely borked but its so annoying that there are these seeds of ideas i really *like* like dick lying about what was in bruces will and bruces message for jason being so awful and triggering that jasons just like OKAY NAUGHTY CITIZENS ITS MURDER TIME and ckfkcilfkcpckc honestly tim hitting jason with a crowbar........... theres a lot of fucking potential!!

but first of all dick purposely triggering jason wjth bruces farewell message a *second time* and then after jason falls seemingly to his death being like why didnt jason take my hand 😢 why the fuck do you think Richard. (sorry dick i dont actually blame you for the choices you made when fucking tony daniel was writing you)

bc like dick reaching out offering jason a hand in a way that jason would be unable to accept would have been good too except like actually i wouldn't fucking take dicks hand either in that moment

anyway like the tim thing made no sense and also *if* you want me to believe bruce trained tim to have a physiological rxn that makes him flatline in order to appear dead in response to certain physical stimuli. like *if* you want me to go along with that. Jason would fucking know about it (and for that matter so would dick) and also that pokes a hole in the concept bc if dick knew that bruce had repeatedly made Tim flatline to train his body to automatically do it i think bruce would have died a long fucking time ago. or dick would have done SOMETHING to put a stop to it imo bc that crosses a very clear line

but i just wish it had been like. yeah jasons lying to dick and dick simultaneously does and doesnt believe him instead of the bullshit that happened bc [character rant redacted i dont feel like typing it right this minute]it could have been like so tragic and good bc it would be like. 1) obviously mirroring the joker doing the same thing b4 dick beat him to death and 2) a really tragic thing from jason to fucking lie to dick, who has no evidence to the contrary, bc he wants dick to not believe him

and its like thats why i want jason to reject dicks hand yk. bc he self sabotaged and now he thinks dicks lying about thinking he has the potential to be better or whatever. and instead it reads like dick purposely aired out bruce calling him a failure & broken and going on and on about how giving jason the best years of his life was a *mistake*

anyway im bored of complaining now (for the moment) so ill stop but god damn i really just wish his comic were good instead of bad

wait one final note. like i said earlier i reject the entire premise of bftc bc by necessity it ends with dick in the cowl and cass isnt even there. and well if cass *was* there why the F<UCK would dick get the cowl ykwim... that said i do think like if the comic had made a point that damian needs robin and cass is not in a position to be batman *to* him that could feasibly lead to cass being like "ok 👍 i dont want to look at you anymore tho so I'm going to travel around the world for a few years" (/months in universe). but obviously that is not fjckkng in the comic. also alfred giving damian the suit was so bogus I'm glad everyone pretends dickie did it xjdkcnoxck (i maintain if there was a robin suit in damians size it had to have been dicks idea anyway)

[lazaruspiss]

tagged by @roipecheur !!

rules: make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have WIPs

ah. haha... youll see why im not doing that last bit in a second. ive probably shared a list before like this and it probably hasnt changed much, lmao

NIGHTWING SEEN IN NEW YORK

autopsy

Bartering With Flowers

basement boy

BiB Flamebird AU

dickbabs arranged marriage

dickie abortion angst (omega)

dickie abortion angst (trans)

jaydick fair date

jaydicktim dick heat depression

Joke's On Us

Mommy’s Here

Oh, Alice.

Play Rough

Please Hit Me Back

rr damidick seduction of the innocent

Same age robins highschool au

stephdick mob

stephdick no capes

The Things We Do For Charity

timdick plushie kink

Which ghost are you

Trans Dick, Feminization, Brainwashing

jason visits dick

4 the boys

5 runaway

6 new home

7 hostage

8 gala

9 dress-up

10 go-to girl

DIDick

I’m bad, he’s worse, we’re already dead 1-3

I’m bad, he’s worse, we’re already dead 2-3

Touch me ‘til I vomit

Nature's Order (As Told From Alpha To Beta)

_0Teeth

1 Drown In It

Where The Dead Stay Dead (And The Living Chase After)

i'm thinking i might go and sort through these and toss some in the scrapped pile bc at this rate... yeah. or at the very least create a priority list for myself so that i can actually finish ANYTHING. my wips range from the most bare bones of brainstorming to almost done so good luck with that <3 if any of yall wanna pressure me into being productive ur welcome to lmao

[evandarya]

Heat

{Read on AO3}{Part 1}

"I don't know what scares me more, Dickie. That you invited strangers to Bruce's private stretch of beach for a bonfire, or that they agreed to come." Jason said. They had been hauling logs around for half the day, building what could easily be a small beach hut that they were going to set on fire. Not that Jason was against fires, far from it, but they had only met Jazz and Danny and Dani-with-an-i the day before. Jason would love to get to know Jazz more and figure out why the Green reacts to Danny the way it does, but this seems forward, even for Dick.

"I'm good with people." Was Dick's only answer. 

"You're a class A manipulator, that's  what you are." Jason shot back. 

"Well, you know what they say: "Mansplain, Manipulate, Malewife." Dick hoisted the last log onto the pile and brushed the dirt from his hands. 

"What?" Jason asked, bewildered.

"It's a meme. Don't you ever go on the internet?" 

"Yeah, for research, not memes."

"Oh my gods, don't tell Tim that, you'll break the little nerd's heart." 

"Whatever, what time are they supposed to get here?" Jason asked as they headed back to the beach house.

"They should be here soon. I told them the pizza will be here at eight." Dick checked his watch.  "I bought enough to feed an army of Flashes with enough left for midnight snacks."

"That delivery driver is going to hate you," Jason said with a grin.

"I tipped them 50 percent, so they shouldn't be too mad," Dick said, knocking the sand from his sandals and stepping into the house.

There was a knock on the door and Dick answered to find Danny, Jazz, Dani, and a delivery woman each holding a warming bag. 

“Hey, Dick,” Dani said with a smile. “When you said you were going to have enough pizza to feed an army I thought you were exaggerating.” 

“I never exaggerate about food,” Dick said, thanking the delivery driver and waving everyone in. The delivery person unloaded the pizzas and took her warming bags back. Dick slipped her an extra twenty, which she tried to refuse but Dick slipped it into one of the bags. 

“Richard! Did you remember to order a veggie pizza for me?” Damian asked as he came into the kitchen. Tim almost bowled him over when he stopped dead at the sight of Dani. “Hello, Danielle. It is nice to see you again.”

“Don’t stop in the middle of the walkway brat, Tim said, pushing around Damian to check the pizza boxes. 

“Hey, Dames! I think I saw a veggie and a plain cheese on the order slip,” Dani offered cheerfully. 

“We didn’t know what kind of drinks you liked,” Danny said, setting his backpack down and unzipping it. “So we got a bit of everything.” Danny pulled out three two liters of soda from his backpack and set them on the counter. Jazz set her own bag down and pulled out a jug of sweet tea and a two-liter of lemonade.

“You didn’t have to get anything!” Dick said. “I made juice and tea.” 

“Your tea is too sweet, Dick,” Jason said, taking a slice of pepperoni pizza from one of the boxes and biting into it. “I’d like tea, not diabetes.” 

“Diabeetus.” Danny and Tim said at the same time. They met eyes and both looked away with a blush. 

“Fine.” Dick fake pouted. “Let's eat so we can start the bonfire.” 

***

Tim had never been to a bonfire before. He’d been to housefires and fires caused by explosions, some he set off himself, but he’d never really sat in front of a fire for the fun of it. Dick had run off almost as soon as the fire was lit, saying something about going to get marshmallows, but he hadn’t seen his brother since. Dani and Damian were sitting side by side on a log across the fire from him, holding a quiet conversation. Dani laughed at something Damian had said and Damian blushed in response. Jason and Jazz had disappeared pretty quickly, claiming they wanted to go on a walk, but they left holding hands, so Tim figured they wanted some alone time. Danny was sitting on the sand next to him, drawing some intricate symbols in the sand. Tim watched him for a moment, enjoying the heat from the fire. It was a nice contrast from the cool sea breeze blowing across his neck and back.

“What’s that?” Tim asked. Danny froze and a red flush crept up his neck that had nothing to do with the fire. 

“Just, ah. Nothing, really.” Danny said, obliterating the symbols with his hand. “Just, it’s kind of embarrassing.” 

“Is it like a secret code or language or something?”

“No, more like a summoning script,” Danny said. 

“To summon what?” Tim asked. He knew summonings were real, and if Danny was involved in magic, well, that was something the Justice League would be interested in. 

“The Ghost King,” Danny said, waving his hands around in a way that was supposed to be spooky before laughing.

Tim laughed, too. It felt nice. Danny had an easy casualness about him, something Tim couldn’t help but feel drawn to. Danny leaned back against the log Tim was sitting on and stretched his arms out, brushing Tim’s leg as he did so. 

“This is nice,” Danny said, gazing up at the sky. “Back home I don’t have time to just look at the stars anymore.” 

“You can’t see the stars where we live, too much light pollution,” Tim said, gazing up as well. “I never have been able to pick out constellations.” All the bats knew enough about the stars to navigate by them, but picking out shapes from the thousands of stars up there was never Tim’s goal.

“It’s not hard, once you know how to find them,” Danny said, pointing up toward the sky. “In the northern hemisphere, you can always find the Big Dipper. You see those four stars in kind of a square with three more heading off to the side?” Tim looked but he couldn't see where Danny was pointing, so he slid off the log and sat closer to Danny. Just so he could follow his finger as he traced the different constellations in the sky. And if the places where their arms touched burned a little hotter? Well, that was because of the fire.

***

“So,” Jason said. He wasn’t sure what to say. Should he bring up the fact that the pit reacts to her brother? Then he’d have to explain the pit to her. Or maybe he should just ask where they are from, and look into it later? That's a normal question, right?

“What brings you to Florida?” Jazz asked before he made a decision. 

“Mandatory Family Bonding Time,” Jason said. “You?”

Jazz laughed, full and loud. Jason was glad it was dark because he didn’t want her to see the heat creeping up his neck. “Our parents are here for a conference. They wanted Danny to come to help them out and I knew if I didn’t come, too, they would make him work all weekend. Then Dani heard about it and invited herself along, too.” 

“Was Dani not invited to begin with?” He wondered aloud. 

“Dani’s not technically our sister, she’s more like a cousin, so she doesn’t live with us.” Jazz said. “But she and Danny are close, they have a lot in common. He feels responsible for her, so he’s always treated her like a little sister.” 

“Do your parents treat her like a daughter?” Jason asked. 

“No, to them she’s a distant cousin.” Jazz looked out toward the ocean, thoughtful. “They aren’t bad parents, but they get caught up in their own work and everything else falls by the wayside.” 

“That's why they were okay with you going to a stranger’s beach house for a late-night bonfire?” Jason asked with a grin. 

“Are you a stranger?” Jazz asked. “I thought we had got to know each other pretty well yesterday.” Jazz stopped walking and turned to face Jason, her hand resting lightly on his chest, looking up at him with those soft teal eyes. Before he knew what he was doing he leaned forward and met her pink lips with his own. 

The kiss lasted for only a few seconds before he pulled away. Before he got too far Jazz pulled him back down into a deeper kiss. One of Jazz’s hands snaked up to rest on his neck, keeping him exactly where she wanted him. He could break free, but why would he want to?

***

Damian was used to the heat. Growing up in the desert had made him used to it. He didn’t understand the appeal of a bonfire. Campfires to keep warm and ward off predators, sure. But the fire Grayson had made was too large and required too much wood and put off too much heat to be comfortable. An issue Drake and Fenton didn’t seem to share as they sat cuddled up on the sand. 

“Come on, Dames, let's go before they start kissing,” Danielle said, grabbing his hand and pulling him up. They walked hand in hand along the beach. Danielle seemed to have a destination in mind, so he allowed her to lead him. They were quiet for a long time until Danielle broke it. “I’ve never been to the beach before. I’ve been almost everywhere in the country, but I’ve never thought of going to a beach.” 

“Does your family travel a lot?” 

“No, Danny and Jazz have school and jobs.” 

“You don’t have school?” He had been taught everything in the league, but Father still made him go to school. 

“Let's climb up there,” Dani said, pointing to an outcropping of rock. There was an obvious and well-worn trail leading to the top. 

"Who do you travel with, if it isn't your siblings," Damian asked as they started up the trail.

"I go alone, most of the time. Sometimes Cujo comes with me."

"Your parents make your siblings go to school, while you are allowed to travel alone?" Something was wrong with this family if that was the case.

Dani gave him a look over her shoulder that he couldn't quite grasp in the darkness. "You know I'm not actually Danny and Jazz's sister, right? Their parents aren't my parents. My father is their uncle."

"And your father is okay with you traveling alone?" 

"Not exactly, but the less he knows about me and where I am the better. He isn't exactly nice." They had reached the top of the cliff by this point and Dani walked right to the edge overlooking the ocean, unafraid of falling. "It's beautiful." 

Damian couldn't spare a glance at the water, instead, he watched Danielle's face, happy and calm, and made a vow. No harm shall come to Danielle as long as he could prevent it.

[melancholyandfrogs]

Things that Tim Drake has said about/to Jason Todd:

"Looking at you makes me want to die. Well—die more."

*is in a fight with Damian while Jason watches and wants to get out, points at Jason, who's genuinely just trying to read his book* "He fucked your mom, remember?" Then he ran away.

"You're making my coffee sad." "You make me sad." "Great comeback, Bucket Head, really."

"It's not normal for someone to be as stupid as they are tall, and yet there he stands."

*after Jason complains about Bruce* "I don't know why that bothers you. You're practically alike." Jason looks like he just got killed again, and gasped. Tim smirked. "Birds of a feather, Jay-bear, birds of a feather."

"Whore."

"Trust him? Dickie, no offense, but he's the idiot that got him into this mess in the first place." "And I'll get myself out—alone!" "No you won't, you're too stupid for that. Move over, I'm coming."

"Oh sorry," Sipped coffee. "Did my back hurt your knife?"

"Stop shooting, you white-streaked bitch!"

"Oh, Tim-bone! I have something to cheer you up~" "A firing squad you're about to walk in front of blindfolded?"

"It's like you watched all the greats and then did the opposite."

"Every time you talk, you meet every single criteria to get you into Arkham. It's like a sleep deprived party trick."

"Can you please find your self esteem? It's lacking these days and seriously affect the aura in this room." "You hang out with Steph too much."

"I could take you" Cue Jason's laugh.

"I'm not sure how you have your foot in your mouth like a baby, your head up your ass and your nose in my business, yet here we are."

"Okay, zombified Casanova, calm down."

*about medicine* "Put it in my mouth? Dude, I'm not your mom."

"A lunatic, truly—love him though." *gags*

"You're a slut." Because Jason wore shorts.

"This is why B won't let you at W.E." "Nah, it's because I'm dead." "Nah, it's because you suck."

"Suck my dick." He snapped, making Jason step towards him, at which point Tim screamed at the top of his lungs.

Calls him literally anything other than Jason

"Zombie."

"Pea brain."

"Dead boy."

"Dead bird."

"Boy Stupid" (like Boy Wonder)

"Bucket head."

"White-streak."

"Raised dead."

"Mom-fucker." (Talia Al Ghul)

"Mini-Bruce." (the worst one)

"Mini-Dick."

"Big-Damian."

this is for the people who think that Tim doesn't fight back, that he's just a tired Robin who has no spark / Tim Drake has fire / he's an annoying little shit / he knows it too / fuck you

[ravenstakeflight]

dibs

https://archiveofourown.org/works/37873396

"No." Bruce said, frowning down at the social worker. She had a hesitant smile on her face, one that quickly disappeared at his refusal.

"Mr Wayne, I'm afraid I cannot allow you to keep this child-" A frown directed up at the kid, who hid behind Bruce's uncomfortably-uncowled-but-still-reluctantly-existing bulk. "With you! He belongs with his family, in the circus!" And Bruce doesn't miss the way she looks at him, the way she says circus and the way she shies against actually looking at Dickie, and the way his kid is small and doesn't know the ramifications of having not-white not-pale skin in the United States.

"I'm sorry, Miss-" except for the way he obviously isn't. "-But I've called dibs on young Richard Grayson, over here, and unless he really wants to" -have to emphasize that it's Dick's choice, not Ms Parrish's, whether he ever leaves Wayne Manor while under Bruce's care, and after he grows up too- "he will be staying here." Bruce watches Dick's blueblueblue eyes widen, meeting his eyes and baring his intentions out in front of him, because for a kid with the experience of all of nine years, Dick is surprisingly perceptive, and Bruce already loves him, even a week into having the kid at his home. Ms Parrish concedes with a huff and a condescending flip of her hair.

As she flounces out, Dick loudly asks Bruce - probably just to anger her - about what just happened.

"Oh, nothing, chum." Bruce will happily go along with his son's - his son, he has a kid now - fun if it pisses off the rude lady now walking out the front door. She stops. Bruce thinks her eyebrow might twitch a little bit. "Just a littl- Ms Parrish." He looks at her back, which is shaking in rage. His smile grows a little. "If you are having trouble finding the door, please look a few steps ahead of you to the large cast iron and wooden doors."

"Can we ge-"

"I have chocolate and cookies-n-cream ice cream," Bruce says. Dick's smile grows, wide and missing a tooth. "Let's go!" Dick jumps onto Bruce's back. Bruce automatically curls his hands around Dick's tiny little feet, holy sh- crap, and then they're off.

"IVY!" Dick calls, running toward the green-skinned woman. She's looking down at a small red bundle, a boy. It's a hoodie that Robin knows really, really well, it's Jason's hoodie. Jason who's dad is a Joker goon and in jail or dead, Jason who's mom overdosed three years ago, Jason who's finally bulked up a little after months of carefully-hidden feeding and care. Jason who is- "That's my little brother, Ivy, you CAN'T TAKE HIM FROM ME!" He rolls to a stop in front of her. "Besides." Dick feels a shaodw lands just behind him, feels a cold hand on his shoulder and knows that his dad - Bruce - doesn't know what's going on or why Dick's so scared-confused-annoyed, but trusts his Robin. "I called dibs!"

The bundle shifts, and then black hair and blue eyes peek out of red fabric. Dick can tell that Jason's mouth is turned up, and he softens. Ivy can probably feel Jason's body trying to push itself toward Dick, because she puts him down, and blinks as he scurries to Dick's side. The thirteen-year-old nudges him behind him, into a midnight cloak and turns to face Ivy.

Ivy, slowly, miraculously, tentatively, smiles.

"Well, then." She says. Her plants are withdrawing now, crawling up her body and disappearing. "I can't argue with dibs, now can I?" Before she turns, she looks to Batman. "Oh, don't worry, Batman, I'll stay on the DL for a few months. Gotta let you adjust to the newbie, after all." And with one last grin and a flick of glitter in Robin's direction, she's gone.

DIck sighs in relief, melting onto Jason. Jason clutches at him too, and they can feel Batman's - Bruce's, those are Bruce's not Batman's - arms encirlcle them and lift them both into the air.

Well. Guess he has a brother now, one in law and not just in their hearts.

Jason jumps his weight a little higher, grappling down very slowly. Wouldn't do to drop a child from a six-story building and not be able to catch him because Jason's legs froze off. Thankfully he'd been able to fight for skin-color leggings to be added to the suit ("As much as i love you, Dickhead, I don't want to freeze my butt off when winter comes around!"  --  "Aweee, you love me, Little Wing?") and a slightly warmer cape so that he could finally jump off the fire escape, disengage his grapple, and then wrap the kid - and that stupid fucking camera - in the cloak. Taking the cape off means sending B a ping - because first the cape then their armor then their masks -  so soon the Batmobile comes rolling up with a terrified Bat in the front seat. As soon as B realizes he's not in danger, he tucks Jason and Stalker Kid into the passenger seat and Jason can finally, finally go bonelessly relaxed.

Bruce is here, Dad is here.

He'll handle it.

He'll keep them safe.

He always has, and Jason thinks he always will.

When they get home, it turns out the kid is Timothy Jackson Drake, the son of Jack and Janet Drake. The archeologists.

Who work in digs around the world, and a half-hour's worth of digging reveals that they've only ever bought two tickets.

Tim has been left behind.

Every single time.

Jason, Dick, Alfred, and Bruce look at each other. A single unspoken line of communication occurs.

DIBS!

(It works out. Gotham runs on its own laws, its own life, and dibs count as a valid fucking reason to have guardianship transferred to Brucie Wayne.)

Tim shakes with rage.

He looks down at Damian.

Damian who is thirteen, Damian who should be able to go on a walk in his own fucking city without having to be worried about fucking ninjas attacking him out of nowhere. Damian who is Tim's little brother, Damian who has been kidnapped by ninjas. Fortunately Tim had the forethought to put his own tracker in Damian, or nothing good would've come. Nothing good ever comes from ninjas in Gotham.

He looks down at his little brother, who is drugged and asleep, because that is what happens when your grandfather is a piece of ancient shit and doesn’t subscribe to the fucking visiting hours you’ve set up with him.

All bets are off, now. Tim used to hold back, but.

But.

That is Tim’s small stabby gremlin brother. He called dibs after the first stabbing.

Tim turns around to an older brother in blue and black, and he gladly passes Damian over to Dick.

"Keep him safe," Tim says. His snarl is unconscious. "I'm off to hunt."

When he finds Ra's al Ghul, he does nothing except watch as the centuries-old man tries to reach the Lazarus Pit.

As soona s the gets back out, Tim detontates the entrance.

The last words Ra's al Ghul will ever hear:

"I. Called. Dibs."

[casuallytalkingtothevoid]

When Dick woke up, he knew today was going to be a good day.

He had been staying at the manor for a bit now and was having a great time.

He was just so happy to be around so many people he cared about.

He picked up his phone to check the time. The brightening screen read 9:30.

Oh great, Alfred's probably about to put out breakfast!

Dick, never short of energy, quickly got ready, excited for the chance to spend time with his family.

While walking down the hallway, Duke just about runs him over.

"Whoa man, where's the fire?"

"Oh hey Dick, sorry about that, don't mind me, just passing through... hey do you mind getting Tim for me? I think he's still in the cave. Thanks!" He said, getting a bit louder as he hurriedly walked away before disappearing out of view.

Dick just huffed out a laugh and looked down to Damian's door to see a glowering Damian.

"He behaves as though I would be angry towards him for ensuring I do not miss breakfast."

Dick knew there was absolutely no chance Damian didn't threaten Duke, but he just raised an eyebrow.

Damian muttered under his breath, "I didn't even stab him."

Dick grinned, "That's an improvement!"

"tt."

He didn't see anyone else before heading down to the cave.

"Timmmm." He called out, seeing the ball curled up in front of the computers that vaguely resembled a human person.

"Come on Timmy, breakfast is almost done."

All is gets is an "I'm working."

Dick sighed, Tim tended to get like this, especially when it came to cases involving kidnapping or children. Sadly, this case was a two for one.

"Nope, nu-uh, comeon man we wouldn't want to leave Alfred waiting." He said while already in the middle of dragging him over.

He gets a good look at him, and he wished he was surprised to see the deep eyebags and the bloodshot eyes. Something about this case must be tearing him up inside. Who knows how many days it's been since he got any real sleep. And no Tim those half hour "power naps" do not count!

Thankfully though, Tim didn't put up much of a fight, allowing himself to be manhandled out of the cave and into the dining room. Dick did notice a small hissing when they got to the brighter parts of the building. Cute, he thought.

Everyone else was already at the by the time they got there. Tim dropped heavily into his seat.

Dick noticed Damian and Jason talking about the drug dealers they busted last night.

"... But Todd, the imbecile that he is, decided he didn't need to call in reinforcements."

"Oh shut up, I would have been just fine without you!"

"I can recall at the very least three instances in which you would have been shot had I not been there."

"Well at least you were doing something cool, most interesting thing I had all night was breaking up a bar fight." Dick whined.

"Come on Dickie Bird, it could always be worse," Jason Grinned. "You could've had to deal with condiment king."

The table collectively groaned. Well except Tim, but that was to be expected, he looked about ready to fall face first into his food.

"What about your Case Tim, aren't you still working on that one with the missing kids?" Jason questioned, "Would have thought you'd have that one figured out by now huh."

"Kidnapped," he replies, still looking at his plate as though he were contemplating using it as a pillow.

"Hm?"

"They were kidnapped, honestly they are probably dead by now."

And look, Dick understood, after being in the game so long he knew that sometimes you have to detach yourself from the emotions of a case. But he thought, looking at Tim right then, that he was being a little too indifferent when talking about kids dying.

"Tim, buddy, you can't lose hope, those kids are counting on us to save them!"

Tim finally glanced up and looked him dead in the eyes. If Dick was telling the truth, it was a little unnerving. He looked like a zombie, pale and unfocused eyes, which was ironic, seeing as though he was seating 5 feet away from an actual zombie.

"It isn't about hope, of course I'm not giving up, I will find them. But it's been weeks and depending on the situation I honestly might prefer if they were already dead and that's why we haven't found them." His eyes glaze just a little more. "We still have no idea who has them, or why, or what they are doing to them. We have no idea..." He trails off and looks back down at his food to take focus on taking a bite.

After that the mood sobered a little bit.

"Don't... Don't you think that's a little insensitive?" Duke chimed in with an awkward laugh

And Dick knew it wasn't, knew that it was a perfectly reasonable thought process, if not a little morbid.

"Yah come on Timmy, I'm sure it'll all be ok!" Ok so sue him, let Dick pretend like the world wasn't a terrible, awful place for like two seconds.

"You know, as someone who has died, zero out of ten, would not recommend." Jason cut in, "Tim, I know people say you can sleep when you're dead, and I really hate to be the bearer of bad news, but they are definitely wrong."

Dick barked out a laugh, "He looks just about ready to pass out right here, right now."

The whole table laughs at that, the rest joining in on teasing Tim for his bad sleep habits.

"Honestly Dick, at this point the only thing that would be able to keep him up is a little shock from your escrima sticks"

At Jason's words Tim's chair scraped across the floor.

"That's not funny," he said in a breathless, sort of desperate tone.

Dick, laughter dying down just a little, looks over at Tim, worried that something might have triggered him, or hurt his feelings.

But when he saw his face, full of mirth and a mile long smile, he just burst into more laughter.

Dick was right, this was going to be a good day.

Thinking a very normal amount about Tim being joker junior.

Thinking about Jason dying and Tim becoming robin out of necessity.

Thinking about Bruce not noticing Tim has been kidnapped because surely, surely his parents would file a report. Surely Tim must have been dragged into going on a trip with them and just didn’t mention it.

Thinking of Bruce not questioning things correctly because he is too busy grieving the previous robin.

Thinking of Bruce just thinking Joker Junior is a random kid.

Thinking of Barbra being the one to notice instead.

Thinking of Barbra consoling Tim after he kills the Joker.

Thinking of her taking Tim and letting him heal in the Drake estate.

Thinking of a file Bruce Wayne makes called Joker junior, one that Tim never looks at, that talks about a kid who killed the Joker and has been missing ever since.

Thinking of, months later, when robin returns to Bruce’s side, it just so happens to coincide with the return of Jack and Janet.

Thinking of Tim thinking Barbra must have told Bruce, but he just never came to see him. And that’s fine, because it isn’t as if they are family, Tim is just here to make sure Bats doesn’t go off the deep end again.

Thinking of Barbra not telling Bruce, because surely he already knows, he’s the world’s greatest detective. Plus she isn’t one to talk about other people’s trauma when they aren’t around.

Thinking of Tim hiding his laughter, because Batman would never let him keep patrolling if he knew he was still having fits.

Thinking of Dick not being there most of the time, and when he is, he mostly spends it arguing with Bruce.

Thinking of Tim knowing that Dick must know because he hears them fighting about the joker being dead once, although he did leave pretty soon after when he feels the laughter bubbling up in his throat.

Thinking of Jason coming back, attacking him at the titains tower, and telling him that he’s read all his files and knows everything about Tim. Obviously Tim takes this to mean he knows that Tim killed the joker as JJ. Because why wouldn’t that be in his file.

Thinking of Jason not having time to question when the little Robin who replaced him starts manically laughing once he sees him, because as soon as he hears the familiar laugh the green takes over completely.

Thinking of Tim finally feeling in control of himself, but then worst year ever happens. His parents are dead, Bruce is lost in the time stream, all his friends are dead, Robin is stolen from him, and everyone thinks he is crazy. He starts to relapse.

Thinking of Tim actually going a little bit crazy after that, trying to clone Bart and Kon, joining the league of assassins, doing all those crazy things he did during worst year ever.

Thinking of Cass learning after saving Tim from the daughter of Acheron. There isn’t much he can do but explain after she witnesses one of his fits.

Thinking about years later, when everyone has relationships more akin to Batman: Wayne family adventures, Tim still feels a little out of the group.

Thinking of everyone getting mad when he talks about the Joker, especially if it’s in front of Jason.

Thinking of Tim going silent or making himself scarce everytime the Joker is mentioned.

Thinking of a Tim who finds an excuse not to go out when Harley Quinn is.

Thinking of a Tim who hasn’t had an episode in years.

Thinking of a Tim who watches Jason get all this support for his trauma, while he doesn’t.

Thinking of him going to Barbra or Cass anytime he has a set back because they are the only ones who seem to care.

Thinking of a Wayne family who doesn’t know.

Thinking of a Tim who Knows they Know, but they just don’t care.