#oh boy look at you manipulating the background feature

[yeowvng]

the online webinars do hit different when the presenters are tech savvy

[smehur]

Drarry fic recs #5

oxygen [Fic & Art] by @maesterchill

Draco doesn’t smoke. Except when he needs to breathe.

A wonderfully atmospheric rendering of the moment when the tentative friendship hesitantly built through years of unplanned meetings gently turns into a deeper, romantic intimacy. Featuring a lovely, lonely Draco and an incredibly evocative description of the magic hiding in cigarette smoke. 10/10 would read again.

AITA for being "obsessed" with my childhood nemesis? by @rainstormradish

Alrakis • I [24M] attended a small boarding school in the UK. There was a boy in my year, a couple of months younger than me, and he became my nemesis after we developed an intense rivalry. My friend [25F] told me recently that our dynamic was "weird back then" and that "it’s even weirder" that I still think about him today. She argued that I talk about him all the time, but I believe the amount I talk about him is reasonable. AITA? prongymcprongface • i completely get what you mean. i had a nemesis (like a school one, separate to my other nemesis) and we had a dynamic super similar to what you are describing. having a nemesis is a very cool and normal thing dw about it. NTA In which Draco asks the internet if he's being reasonable. Only one commenter is sympathetic. They start talking.

This was so much fun to read, I don't even. A brilliant concept, flawless execution, and bonus points for Draco's online name. ✨👌

For Lack of Wanting by @fluxweeed

Over the last ten years, I’ve worked hard to become a better person. I hate being reminded of who I used to be. But Harry likes it when I’m mean.

I loved this even though it broke my heart. Perhaps because (like with other fics that successfully broke my heart), I could totally see it: a Harry who grows into his fame, a Harry who doesn't look under the surface of things unless forced, a Harry who never spared a serious thought about Draco after the war. And a Draco desperate enough to throw everything away for him anyway. Beautifully crafted and utterly devastating.

By the Grace by @letteredlettered

Harry is an Auror instructor. Malfoy wants to be an Auror.

Oh, boy. This fic. It left a mark on me. It's the second most literary fic I've read to date (topmost being Running on Air by eleventy7), and by far the most ambitious one. That summary doesn't begin to do it justice. It's a story about the initiative to reveal the wizarding world to the Muggles; the political struggles of those for and against it, including activism, media manipulation, government corruption, and even terrorism; and Harry and Draco in the midst of it all. I also suspect it's brimming with commentary on real life UK politics, but I'm too distant from those topics myself to say more. It is for this ambition, and for the the meticulous creation of a detailed post-war political landscape and the actors trying to shape it, that I wholeheartedly applaud and recommend this fic. Anyone looking for an adult, thought-provoking, political story perfectly set within the Harry Potter world will have an absolute blast with it.

But I can't say I enjoyed it. I picked it up not for the politics, but for the romance. And the romance, while definitely an omnipresent element, was kept so deep in the background, that the reading was an exercise in frustration almost to the very end. This was done purposely, with incredible consistency and discipline, and to great effect, in order to craft the slowest of slow burns. But I, like a kid bored with the things on the news, skimmed through the lot of political discussions (which are what gives the story such a strong literary vibe), constantly looking for the individual, the personal, the relatable; constantly hoping for the feels. And when they came to the fore at last, it was a bit too little, too late.

As much as I admire its ambition and craftsmanship, this is not a story I would read again. But I will never, ever forget it.

Nice Things by aideomai

The first thing that happened was Theodore Nott came back from France.

Possibly the softest, gentlest, most soothing story I've read in this fandom so far. Something to come back to when my spirits need a lift. There's a scene (spoiler: it asks and answers the question, "are you fucking with me?") that I read three or four times in a row, smiling wider and wider on each go, and another (someone returning after holidays) that i had to revisit at least twice. This doesn't happen often in my reading! I confess I wished for a more detailed exploration of the developing intimacy (read: smut), but I respect the author's decisions; they left me with a heart full of warmth and a head full of dreams.

Many thanks to the wonderful authors in this fandom for sharing their stories, and to all the readers who help spread the word. ❤️

[theunholyrogue]

under the mistletoe🎄

❤️bayverse! x GN reader💚

still on my writing hiatus, but i thought i would pop in for a quick, short christmas post with my favorite boys

tw: v mild cursing, none— all fluffy! ☁️

merry christmas, and happy holidays! <3

🎄💙Leonardo💙🎄

Oh, how Leonardo loved watching the excitement in your body language and emotions after he had agreed to helping you set up your christmas decorations around your home.

He didn’t mind doing anything for you, you were his partner after all and you definitely put up with a lot from him and his brothers— this was the utter least he could do for you.

So, while sipping on homemade hot chocolate, you and Leo spent the cold day together setting up your christmas tree, stringing the lights around it, and hanging ornaments off of the dark green branches.

You didn’t have many ornaments, as you had rather collect the cooler, more personal ornaments such as a hallmark oogey boogey from ‘the nightmare before christmas’ or a book to describe your various hobbies, over the glass or plastic bulbs that were really only used for the aesthetic…

unless the glass/plastic bulbs are your thing, then go off babe~

Both you and Leonardo enjoyed the quiet time off the moment, listening to the low sounds of christmas music or whatever you would rather play in the background on your TV.

“Thank you for helping me, Leo,” You speak as the two of you hang some garland over the top of your fireplace, followed by two stockings— one for you and one for Leonardo.

“Of course, love,” He responded, a warm and endearing smile on his features as you two finish and meet in the middle of your living room.

You wrapped your arms around his torso, around his shell as best you could as he returned the gesture.

“There is something that’s missing,” Leonardo muttered, causing you to look up at him.

“What?”

In an instant, you spot the mistletoe bundle above both of your heads, trying to figure out how Leonardo pinned it up there without you realizing.

Of course, the answer was that he was a ninja.

Without giving enough time to react, Leonardo tightened his hugging grip with one arm as the other slide to your neck, his hand coddling the back of your head as he pulled you into a longing kiss.

“A mistletoe kiss,” he states as the two of you pull away. “Merry Christmas, my dearest.”

“I don’t think I can love you anymore than I do.”

🎄💜Donatello💜🎄

The turtle genius had been hearing nonstop about Christmas lights from you, April, and Casey— about wanting to visit the biggest Christmas light display and drive-thru around their area.

Annnnd since April is a reporter, she and Casey had the benefit of going in before they opened to the public one night while April ran a story on the on the festive and flashy display.

Leaving you all alone.

Now— Donatello had never been one to celebrate Christmas, the whole ordeal stemmed from something that went against the science that he could prove, yet, after the two of you started dating, he most definitely put in a lot more effort for minor things like holidays and such just to make you happy.

So, since the turtle couldn’t bring you to the lights himself, why not bring the lights to you?

Thus, he banned you from the lair for roughly a week as he put his plan into action. He spent a lot of money for April to buy lights, while he would tinker and toy with the rest, ultimately creating an entire display of assorted lights that he and another could walk through.

And when it was time, he brought you back to the lair with a blindfold over your eyes.

“This is kinky,” you tease.

“Stop it.” Donatello replied, guiding you to the entrance of the lair before removing the blindfold.

You paused in awe, seeing the array of lights that was carefully manipulated into different christmas objected and scenes.

Candy canes, Santa, his reindeer, gingerbread houses, etc…

“Oh my… did you do all of this for me?” You asked softly, gazing up at Donatello, who watched you with a faint smile.

“Of course I did, you deserve it.”

You couldn’t help but hug him for a moment before the two of you walked through his creation.

Eventually, he led you through a multicolored tunnel that ended with an tinsel arch, white lights strung through it to resemble snowflakes. In the very middle, hanging off of the arch was a mistletoe.

Of course Donatello ended the walk with you both underneath it, and in the moment, he swept you off of your feet and bent forward over you, pressing his lips to yours.

“Merry Christmas, my love.”

🎄❤️Raphael❤️🎄

“Sorry we had to wait for everyone to clear outta here,” Raphael murmured, slipping around on the ice of the ice hockey rink that doubled as a ice skating rink in the winter time.

You had been talking about wanting to go ice skating, whether you were good at it or not, yet you had struggled to find the time to go by yourself… or at all— period.

So, since Raphael “knows a guy who knows a guy”… Casey Jones… he decided to ask for a favor from the male in exchange for some free pizza.

“Raph, this is so much better than being around others! We’re all alone, I’m with my favorite person, this seriously couldn’t get any better!” You exclaimed as you slid along the ice in your skates, remaining close to Raphael.

Raphael smirked as you proclaimed your total excitement for the night activity, making him feel better about, well, the situation at hand. He always felt bad when he couldn’t take you out in public with others around, yet you always found a way to reassure him that it was always okay with you.

So, he continued to try and pick up the simplest of moves— skating forward, in the ice skates that Donatello had made specifically for him.

“Dang, I feel real bad about calling myself a ninja and not being able to do this,” he grumbled, though you didn’t mind reaching out and guiding him along.

“It takes time to learn, just like how you had to practice ninjitsu to be good at it. Right?” You asked with a smile.

“Yeah… and I’m damn good at it,” he grins.

“You sure are, love.”

Slowly, but surely, Raphael continued to pick up on the way of ice skating, being able to move forward and slightly be able to spin around in a circle.

Finally, as you two were doing one more lap around the rink, Raphael looked over at you.

“You know how ya’ said this night couldn’t get better?”

You paused, watching him as he maneuvered back in front of you.

“Yeaaah?”

He pulled out a small mistletoe bushel from his pocket, holding it over both of your heads while moving close. He leaned down in your direction and smiled.

“Merry Christmas, hot stuff,” he grinned before pressing his lips against yours, both lingering for an extra moment before pulling away.

“Couldn’t get better than that.” You grinned, pulling him back into a greedy kiss, causing the two of you to fall onto the ice and proceed to laugh it off.

🎄🧡Michelangelo🧡🎄

The turtles had been planning this holiday party for weeks, now that they had a collective group of people that they now considered apart of the family and wanted to spend part of their holiday season with.

Making the most out of it, you had decided to spend the late morning and midday to help your turtle partner in cooking delicious sweets while the others set up for the party.

Plenty of giggles and goofing around erupted between you and Michelangelo as you two measured ingredients, throwing some of the flour at your partner with the turtle retaliating against you by smacking a palm-full of whipped cream into your face.

You also couldn’t resist taking your finger and dragging it across the surface of the cake bowl, licking the ingredients off while earning a whine from Mikey.

“Oh, no fair! I was gonna do that!”

“Guess you were a little too slow then, huh?”

He simply rolled his eyes with a cheeky grin, catching you off guard with a quick cheeky kiss and quickly copying your actions with the remainder of the leftover batter. He pulled his finger out, creating a loud ‘pop’ sound with his mouth as you narrow your eyes.

“Oop! Guess you were a little too slow, sweet cheeks.”

“You are a total asshole for that,” you pouted, sticking the empty bowl into the sink to wash, along with the rest of the dirty dishes.

As you two cleaned up the disaster in the kitchen and laid the finished desserts of cookies, brownies, fudge, and whatever else came to mind, out onto the bar— you started to plate the desserts onto Christmas themed plates rather than leaving them on the pans.

The boys had finished setting up for the party, leaving the rest of the job for you and Mikey to bring the plates of sweets out and settling them up on a table in the main area where the party would be, alongside the drinks and small finger foods that Casey and April had brought.

One by one, you brought the dessert to the entrance separating the kitchen and the living space, where Michelangelo would meet you and take the plate, moving to the table and setting it down— until it came down to the last dessert.

As you walked to the entrance, Mikey swiftly took the plate from your hands and moved it to one hand, snaking the other around your waist and pulling you close to him.

Without so much as a warning, the orange clad turtle pressed his lips against yours in a short yet passionate kiss before pulling away, leaving you momentarily dazed. From there, he grinned and winked at you.

“Merry Christmas, sexy.” He states before walking back to the food table, leaving you there to stare up at the mistletoe berry and leaf that hung in the doorway above your head.

“That was pretty smooth…” You mutter with a blushing smile.

[catcherwrites]

TDP S7E9 Rewatch (feat. my commentary)

Last one for the road, and it’s another long one!

Kosmo’s prophecy is so creepy, I love it

Do you think when our heroes got back to Katolis and explained everything to Aanya she had a massive “I told you so” moment with Ezran about Aaravos baiting him?

If I remember correctly, it’s canon that Avizandum could travel through lightning bolts, so it makes sense that Zym can also do that. I just wish it’d been hinted earlier in the show itself. I’m sure many people are confused as to how Zym suddenly gained the power to transport himself halfway across the continent

Fun fact, I also headcanon this as the moment Zym unlocked his ability to speak (he just had more important things to worry about than choosing his first words)

When I was first watching this, I kept saying “just do it, come onnnn, no more chit-chat, time to save the world!” It’s safe to say my feelings haven’t changed much since then.

Claudia the last two episodes: do a cool magic trick to stop someone from hurting Aaravos, then get hit out of the sky and knocked unconscious

This was such a powerful moment for Rayla and Callum, you can see how heartbroken they are that the other is being forced to sacrifice their principles to save the world

Aaravos is rightfully smug. He knows that he’ll find a way out. It just takes time – time that he has in abundance and the heroes have in short supply

Hey Sparklepuff! Your role in S7 was limited to this one thing and your depth exists primarily in subtext, but I’m glad you’re here sweetheart

A minor change I’d make to this scene, is that I’d show Avizandum actively fighting the control Aaravos has on him (even if it’s just in the background). I’d show that Zubeia’s words had at least some effect on him before we get that out-of-nowhere attack

Callum fails to complete the spell, but the exertion of attempting it is what gave him that streak of white. I actually kinda like that! We saw that successfully coining Kpp’Ar completely altered Viren’s features, so it makes sense that a dark magic spell that potent would still alter you, even when it’s unfinished

Aaravos knows he’s going to die, so he sends Claudia away to avoid the nova. It’s sort of sweet…in a deeply toxic way?

Pleasantly surprised that Stella can manipulate portals she didn’t make herself. I hope we see that again later

Ah the infamous “I got you” “I know” Yeah, well I know what you are

From the waist up Aaravos getting dragged into the air looks really good…the waist down looks a little goofy. Look at how he’s kicking his legs like a toddler in swimming lessons!

I wish there’d been some verbal communication between the dragons? I don’t know, maybe Zubeia yelling “We need to get higher up, further away, my love. Domina! Shield them!” It’d go a long way to help explain what’s going on without breaking the tension of the scene

Crazy that they just had to drop the staff to destroy the orb. Do you think it would’ve exploded in one minute if Aaravos hadn’t died and exploded everything anyway?

Soren saying “I don’t know…” is gut wrenching (because it’s true, he doesn’t know if he could go through with it), and Claudia deciding not to go through with killing him either because “I’m still nice!” is equally as gut wrenching

Domina! You finally spoke!

Oh, I could spot Aaravos crying as he died, that’s cool! I didn’t notice that before

I loved the nova. The music was great, the emotions were fraught, the sacrifices were satisfying, the consequences are real and significant

Putting the archdragons memorial in the Valley of Graves is a wonderful nod to the initial conflict of S4, complete with Corvus performing on his cello

Broyals! My boys are repairing their relationship! Good for them!

I recognised Dante’s voice immediately my first watch through, and I’m not gonna lie. I had to pause the show and walk a lap of my entire home just to process it. I’m equally annoyed (in a good way) and ecstatic that they got Dante of all people to voice Zym

One last case of Sorvus banter for the road

Quickfire notes on the city ceremony: Gus is a fitting name for the big mushroom, the Crow Lord is BEAUTIFUL, there are also so many other very beautifully painted background characters that I desperately want a dating sim of, Lujanne’s on her feet again, Miyana has twins (good for her), Nyx and Villads are still bickering, Kosmo and Astrid were reunited at some point, and Evrkynd is the corniest name ever (are they going for ‘every kind’ or ‘forever kind’?)

Oh boy Terry and Soren with their shared Claudia trauma

I don’t know if it’s an animation error or a purposeful decision, but Claudia’s hair is back to being 1/4 black

Runaan’s speech is incredible and Jonathan’s performance was spectacular. It’s the summation of so many arcs on so many levels: Runaan himself, but also the Moonfam and Xadia as a whole. Each character we see reacts to what Runaan says differently in ways that make sense for them!

“I don’t know how, but I have to try” Sasha delivered that line wonderfully, filled with so much emotion. If I weren’t already tearing up from Runaan’s speech, I would be now

Ezran and Rayla! My children are also repairing their relationship! Good for them!

Oh boy…the Harrow thing. I have thoughts, but I’ll get into them at the end. For now, all I’ll say is the first time I watched S7, I had to take another lap around the house to process this revelation too

Pyrrah getting her own bowl of coffee was so cute

THE CUBE THE CUBE THE FREAKING CUBE…I’m normal I swear, it’s just we haven’t seen anything of it this entire season

This little present Callum orchestrated for Rayla is so sweet it’s rotting my teeth

I’m paused on the flickering of the Leola’s Last Wish star just before it turns into her constellation. I know what’s coming, I almost cried the first time and I’m pretty sure it’ll happen this time too.

Yep. I’m tearing up again.

Leola’s Last Wish is so, so, so important. It’s the core of the whole show. For better or worse, almost everything happened the way it did because of love. Leola with Aaravos, Callum and Ezran with Damian, Sarai and Harrow, Claudia and Soren with Viren and Lissa, Rayla with Runaan, Ethari, Tiadrin and Lain, Zym with Zubeia and Avizandum. And that’s just the parent-child relationships! There’s also love between siblings, friends, and romantic partners! Leola wishes more than anything that you know you’re loved, and that message hits hard for a lot of people regardless of their age.

It's not very often that a kids show ends like this. Normally there’s a joyful swelling in the orchestration, a big fireworks spectacular, a fun dance or party, or a final scene that entices you to want more (looking at you, S3). But this is soft, quiet, and intimate. I love this ending.

Overall thoughts:

This episode has so much that I adore. It’s definitely one of my favourites, although I mightn’t classify it as a ‘rewatch’ episode because of how emotionally fraught it continues to make me. The animation is consistent, the emotional beats hit hard, and the show tries its best to wrap up as many character arcs as it can in under 30 minutes. That said, it leaves a lot of threads hanging in a way that bothers me slightly because of how uncertain TDP’s future is.

The biggest one for me is by far, Harrow. I wish we’d been given more of a set-up for that reveal in the last two seasons (I think S5 was the last time I gave Pip a second thought). Surely we could’ve had a line from Viren in S6 where he says to Soren “I have no right to ask this of you, but please tell me when King Ezran returns. I have one last confession to make.” Because if he swapped Harrow and Pip, surely he’d try to tell someone that the King isn’t dead when he returned to Katolis for punishment?

More than anything, I’m intrigued by what the plan is for Arc 3. The world has been irrevocably changed by events from the last two and a half years. Peace has been restored, Katolis castle is burned to the ground, a new city-state is being built on the border, all the archdragons are dead besides Zym (who is now King?), Claudia escaped, and everyone is preparing for Aaravos’ return. And that’s not even getting started on what could happen in the timeskip between S7 and S8!

With all that being said, thank you so much to the creative team behind The Dragon Prince. This journey has been a wild ride, and I hope you enjoyed making the show as much as I loved watching it. There was incredible animation, incredible music, incredible writing, and incredible acting; and I wish all of you the very best in your other endeavours (until Arc 3 is announced please please pretty please Netflix).

[harleyacoincidence]

*waves* hello! i tried to message you but apparently my messages don't want to work :(

Anyway, I'd love to know what YOU write about?

Hey there! Thanks for the ask! I'm so sorry, but Tumblr seems to have eaten your ask only to spit it out two years later. Since I just found this, I'll answer it now.

I don't really have a specialty genre, but my favourites to write are fantasy, dark comedy, sci-fi, horror, and crime. My WIPs usually include a combination of those genres, some of which you'll be introduced to below. Without further ado, I'll be going over the things I write (and trust me, the list is decently long) below the cut!

Quick warnings: depictions of manipulation, violence, gore, death, mentions of suggestive content and suicide (though nothing explicit for the latter two are shown, just acknowledgements of their existence)

Tales of an Unfortunate Summoner

A three-part WIP series where protagonist Henriette Cellante (a high school student passionate about the creative arts and summoning demons) goes about her life with her trusty emotional support demon sidekick friend, Hadeon

This series has elements of fantasy, dark comedy, and horror (with just a touch of sci-fi, if you know where to look)

This is by far the oldest of the WIPs I'm working on presently, as I started this back in high school (I'm planning to finish the series and then bring it up to my current writing standard, as OH BOY, ARE SOME PARTS EVIDENT OF THE TIME THEY WERE WRITTEN)

This work does contain subjects such as violence, death, and religious imagery (since, well, demons and such)

Here are some snippets (which definitely aren't just dialogue snippets from Hadeon, the character everyone who knows about this WIP has agreed is the best for some reason):

“What, you aren’t scared of me, heck you deny my existence, but you’re scared of a little gun?"

“Elliot. You’ve been here for literal hours, and you’ve spent it lying down on a carpet. You haven’t seen most of the cool things I carefully laid out to torment you with! What the heaven, man? The stuff is literally two steps to your right. That’s it. Get up or I’ll detonate the floor.”

“Hey, hey, kid, don’t worry about it. It’s not like you had anything weird hidden there, like fanfics or something. I’d only be mad if that was the case. Wait, either you don’t read fanfiction or you’ve hidden them from me really well. Where are the fanfics, Henriette?! WHERE ARE THEY?!?”

“I doubt you’ll remember this, but some omnipotent clown came by and removed me from your brain. I can’t get back in. There’s literally an anti-demon wall in your head right now.”

Love Corrupts Fresh Lilies

A WIP novel of mine I'm adapting from poems I wrote years and years ago, featuring protagonist Rafflesia Mallory, who can't seem to get her life together until she literally falls headfirst into another universe and becomes romantically involved with a deity of corruption and evil (don't ask me how, this WIP's novel form is far from complete)

This WIP is comprised of three genres, fantasy, horror, and dark romance (something I'm fairly new to, so this WIP is kind of a test drive for it)

I started this WIP (technically) a few years ago, with the poems dating back to around high school as far as I can tell (at least, the later half), and I've been trying to change it into novel since

I've taken a lot of breaks from this WIP, as it is extremely difficult to go about, especially with the background lore I've dreamed up (literally) for it

This work contains subjects such as violence, death, extreme levels of gore, childhood trauma, manipulation, and suggestive content (it's by far on the darker side of my WIPs, but definitely not the darkest thing I've ever written, that award goes to either the WIP after this or one of my fanfiction projects)

Here are some snippets (warning for gore, violence, and death below):

His blood covered the streets. You could see it for what felt like miles. Everyone knew what had happened to him, even if they hadn’t been in the town square that day. Those who had been there in the moment only had more of the spectacle to deal with. I had been there. I knew. The memory stained my mind as beautifully as his remains did against the stone. I hadn’t thought smoke to be so corporeal, but my darling had shown me his power and proved me wrong once again. He’d been slammed against the cobblestone and pinned there. The more he struggled, the tighter the grip became. When he cried out, he was lifted and smashed back down. Everyone had heard something crack and break. It was not enough. Smoky fingers moved from his throat to his chest and stomach. That was where they remained, until every drop of crimson essence had been wrung from his form. He was thrown against the ground once more, splashing in a puddle of blood and innards that had been grotesquely crushed and pulled apart. He wasn’t moving anymore. No part was lively, not even his eyes, which had been rolled back so far into his head that it was a miracle they hadn’t fallen in.

I could hear music playing in the distance. As I followed it, I found myself in a village square. The tune was upbeat, inviting, almost like it knew I had just arrived. Why would there be music playing now, of all times? A festival? I thought, What kind of festival would be on now specifically? Do they also celebrate a jazz festival? The music doesn’t sound like jazz. I nearly tripped over a tree root while lost in thought. Definitely not my proudest moment, I’m afraid.

“You! You evil, disgusting, potion-brewing, manipulating, unorganized, witchy freak!” “You overly-peppy, cotton-brained, goody-two-shoes pushover!” “They’re in love,” Hemlock whispered to me. “It’s clear as day,” I replied.

The Devoted Musician

This WIP is very dear to my heart, originally taking place as a random story I'd come up with after being inspired by various pieces of horror media including Creepypastas (specifically Lavender Town Syndrome, Godzilla NES, and Hypno's Lullaby)

It takes heavy inspiration from these Creepypastas, but I've tried to put my own spin on them to take small concepts they revolve around and build my own story

Technically, it's an analog horror series, but focuses more on tragedy than horror (I sort it into the genres of horror, dark comedy, and tragedy)

I've been working on this WIP for eight years now, and it's been putting several of my skills to the test (communicating with a team of editors as well as editing videos myself was never my strong suit, but I'm making it work)

This work includes subjects such as suicide, murder, death, loss, cults, manipulation, and overall declines in mental health/stability

Here are some pieces of media/snippets (some of these are concept art/drafts, as I want to keep this one relatively spoiler-free):

I remember the way her hands would glide over the strings…in that moment, they seemed like sinew and the soundbox like bone.

Idealism and Adherence

This WIP is one of the "newer" ones to my collection (one of the newer projects, as I haven't really had an idea for a major project in a long time, as I want to focus on finishing the ones I already have)

This WIP is the one I have the least clear outline for, despite putting a lot of planning into how its world works, but I have a protagonist by the name of Sasha, and she's part of a specific group seeking new members to join its cause

This WIP fits into the genres of dystopian, crime, and satire (the initial idea I had for this work was literally "What if people took fandom way too seriously in real life?")

This work contains themes of religious imagery, manipulation, indoctrination, violence, and suggestive content

Here are some snippets (from my first draft, with Heavy Emphasis on "first draft"):

Sasha recalled what Adrian had said to her before she went out on her mission: “The mayor’s even more impressionable now than he was ten years ago! A little riot with fire, and he leaves us to do whatever we want. He’s gonna senile over the past decade, I swear! Not that you would remember, Sasha,” he had laughed after the two of them had finished watching a news broadcast from their mayor.

High Paradise City had been named years and years ago, and couldn’t be further from its name in the present day. It was safe to say that the original premise no longer applied. From the littered streets and smokestacks to the government which had a minuscule amount of control over the fanatic citizens than ran wild, it was certainly not the place to be.

Undying Service

This WIP, despite technically being older than Idealism and Adherence, has had virtually zero progress since the day it sprang into my brain (the document literally only has the title on the page)

I've aimed to make it surround the death of a religious minister, and how they haunt their burial place

This WIP is aimed to fit into the genres of mystery and comedy

This WIP contains religious themes and mentions of death, grief, and loss

I literally have no snippets to give you (I'm sorry), so please take this map of Italy's land use:

Miscellaneous Works/Fun Facts:

I've written a ton of short stories and drabbles (I'm talking five pages or under this time, not what Tales of an Unfortunate Summoner was supposed to be), with most of them being horror-related

I've posted a few here, but it was a while ago and my writing has improved a little since then, so I won't be putting them here again

I've written a few fanfics, some of them being requests from people I know (I never thought I'd see the day where I'd be writing Transformers or Pokémon fanfiction, but here we are)

The longest fanfiction I've ever written was about 52K words, and it was the aforementioned project in the Love Corrupts Fresh Lilies segment

I had the urge to write whump for Cuphead (a fandom I've been in officially since 2020, and an interest I've had since the game released), and I got a little carried away with what was supposed to be multiple unrelated oneshots

If I ever post it (which I might after I get a few more beta readers and go through to edit it a few more times), you'll know

I also happen to have a writing request blog now, which you can find at @coincidentallyarequestblog (I'm a bit nervous, honestly, as I'm not all that confident in my writing skills, but I was convinced by some friends of mine to make that blog, and they know I can't bring myself to delete it that easily)

Unrelated fact: I do speak some French, and it's a goal of mine to one day write something that's entirely in French (it's a daunting goal, but I'm determined to do it one day)

[r--kt]

that's a great topic! Obito's sanity is generally a rather controversial thing... at such moments I want to be a psychologist to analyse it more correctly. I'm interested in your ideas and I'm glad you called me to talk <3

I would say that Obito could possibly have some kind of disorder on the background of the trauma he received, and I see that it could be similar to psychopathy at first, but I don't think he can be called a psychopath, since he was not predisposed to sadism/other manifestations of psychopathy since childhood, these are the consequences of all the drama he had. I will try to make a bigger post about this one day, I once thought about where Obito got this sadism from, too. it seems to me that this is directly related to Rin's death at the hands of Kakashi, it was from there that he went crazy. yeah, the obvious thing, haha. but, in short, this sadism is not a typical behavior for Obito, but a developed defence mechanism. so it's not, like, a true "psychopathic" sadism, and I'm not sure he enjoys hurting people to the fullest.

the whole scene of Rin's death is the moment when a dear person, in whom Obito subconsciously saw a certain protector (therefore entrusted him with custody of the most valuable thing he had), somehow breaks this most valuable thing. roughly speaking, the same mechanism worked as for a random little boy whose formidable parent, idk, treated him cruelly for bringing a kitten into the house. the boy feels a desire to protect object A, which is dear to him, but it is necessary to protect this object from object B, which was a source of security for the boy. Obito feels that he cannot defend himself psychologically from this situation, from someone whom he considered his main support at a critical moment. because he has nothing to hope here, he has no one to save him from this, AND the one he hoped would do it is in the middle of the scene. for him, attacking Kakashi is like attacking his own support, and therefore he finds himself in a dead end (I can't protect her, I can't be protected by him, I can't attack him) when he can't blame anyone but the environment and himself. so his fear, shock and aggression are directed inward and cause that hysteria episode, which form a psychotrauma.

subsequently, Obito needs to find a new figure of protection, which, in this case, he can only look for in himself. therefore, he "grows thorns" and becomes more aggressive and angrier, shows this very sadism. the root of his sadism is fear of insecurity and (sometimes) resentment, not an enjoyment (but I think there could some situations). thanks to this aggression, he feels that he no longer needs a defender figure. oh, and by the way, I think that there is quite a lot of masochism in Obito too, this is also an interesting theme.

speaking of the dark triad (I've read very little about it, but I understand the concept you mentioned, it's cool), it seems to me that the features of machiavellianism are most explicit in Obito. he's manipulative, cynical and all that sort of stuff, but then again, it's more of a consequence of his trauma. can people be predisposed to mach at all? I'm getting a little confused about the theory here.

however, you've noticed that Obito could have developed some hyperprotective/aggressive traits without such a serious trauma. in the end, he is still under pressure from the clan and it is very difficult to part with what is dear to him, so hugging too much in a literal or figurative sense is quite in his character, he gets attached to things easily. in Obito's understanding, Rin is something incredibly fragile and delicate, he constantly tries to protect her, tries to be better with her. as if (I liked your words here) he would constantly restrain and control himself. could he relax with her? I'm not sure.

of course, there are people who are comfortable always being on the side of a stronger partner, an always caring one, but, in my opinion, Obito is looking for something in between so that he can both protect and relax. therefore, I can support your position that obirin would not be a very strong couple. oh, you can deduce a lot of AUs and headcanons from this, but many of them seem kind of sad(?) to me... in any case, I see Obito and Rin as good friends, as very close ones, but as for partnerships, this raises my doubts.

I've written about this somewhere before, but I think Obito and Rin didn't last long as a couple. There are several reasons for this(summoning technique: @r--kt I'm interested in your opinion), but I want to highlight one important one among them. Oh yeah, I'll clarify that this doesn't take into account Obito's complicated feelings for Kakashi.

So, I think we can all agree that Obito is a sadist. It's very clear in canon that he doesn't mind hurting people and enjoys watching them suffer. But actually, sadism doesn't come from thin air????

If you watch true crime videos or articles where the authors tell the biographies of serial killers who have been recognized by psychiatrists(!) as sadists, you'll see an interesting pattern. In 9 out of 10 cases they tortured animals as children. This, by the way, is an important bellwether in psychology and is often found in psychopaths. The dark triad, read about it.

So that's what I'm getting at. Sadism is not something you acquire during your life (although some psychologists believe that it is, that it is acquired in childhood under the influence of various factors, but again, it all happens early on), like a skill, like being able to draw or dance. No, it's a predisposition that is seen.

But we don't see it explicitly in Obito? There are three possibilities here, either Obito had very good control over it, or we're dealing with an unreliable narrator, or Kishimoto is a fool. Which is more likely? I don't know. Obito seemed to like animals and even helped them. That's strange.

So, if Obito and Rin had a relationship, I think Obito's sadism would show through. For example, Obito would want to squeeze his hands harder on Rin's body, or bite her, or something like that. But Obito sees Rin as gentle and someone he can't hurt. Accordingly, Obito would have to control himself all the time. Body and Thoughts. Rin would notice this at some point, but where it would lead next, I don't know.

I think Obito would be more and more nervous over time, because he kind of has to control himself forever and can't give himself a rest. He can't make a mistake because he's afraid of losing Rin's love. And that's what his mistake is.

[tokrev-roses]

⇢ ˗ˏˋ I met evil when I was only a child [MafiaDaddy!Au]

: ̗̀➛ synopsis: as good as they are with taking it, how about bringing new life into this world? some thoughts about their children.

: ̗̀➛ characters: bonten!kokonoi, toman!inupi, toman!muto

: ̗̀➛ warning: all characters are adults. contains mentions of violence. they are all criminals, and you are their partner so, you know, its’s a bit dark. not as dark as Kisaki's though.

: ̗̀➛ note: so…I’m back, I guess? I’m not as satisfied with this as I hoped to be, but I really wanted to post something. might edit or post a sequel.

- ,,Kokonoi

a spoiled princess, that she was. nothing was ever good enough for the daughter of Hajime Kokonoi, executive member of Bonten. Kokonoi was rotten ever since he got to know the power of money and never let go of it. she however, never knew it any other way, which was, by all means, so much worse.

you did your best to raise her as a functioning member of society. but how successful could that have been considering her heritage and your husband who compensated his work-related absence with, how utterly surprising, money. And that never changed.

she never went to kindergarten, you raised her and maybe a nanny…if Koko ever found someone he could trust to be around his two gems. but it was mostly you, so she actually was a pretty normal child. until she got into school. a private, high-class institution of course, with lots of other children whose parents had very unique… backgrounds.

you were in constant worry, even though there was hardly a chance that something could happen to her with all the watchful eyes around. Koko made sure of that.

is it a wonder she became the queen of the playground? god help anyone, if she ever came home with a scratch or something likewise. Even though it probably never hurt as much as she pretended, but could you blame her for putting on this little show if it meant she would be the centre of attention?

let’s say another girl she didn���t like was exceptionally rude, how could she resist the temptation of telling mommy how she was shoved to the ground? Look Mommy, she even had a bruise. How to resist, if she knew you’d tell her father when he made his daily “is-everything-fine” call? How to resist if it was so satisfying watching the other girl pack her stuff and leaving in the middle of an oh-so-boring lesson as she was called in the principal’s office. she was invincible, that was what daddy taught her.

it got worse with age. manipulative, cunning, downright heartless if you will. she ruled the school. not through violence, not physical at least. no, that was for her subjects. but through money, fear, and the protective hand of her daddy.

nonetheless, she loves her mom and her dad, although she could get quite bold with you. but even though she was his princess, Kokonoi is no one to tolerate disrespect if it was targeted at him or you. and she knew that.

- ,,Inupi

Inupi’s son was the perfect combination of both of yours best features. He was a pretty calm child

not shy but not willing to run a conversation he deemed unimportant. pretty clear in expressing what he wants and -usually- getting it. not in a “spoiled” sense, like with Kokonoi’s daughter, but more as a reward and a sign of affection. and why should either you or Inupi refuse him when your account was basically bursting with money?

he usually stayed with himself, in no need of company, in school or at home. if you, his mommy, came to him, he wouldn’t refuse your affection. but useless school friendships were not something he sought after, although there were probably a handful of children that tried to stick to him. probably after their parents kindly forced suggested to make friends with the son of Seishu Inui.

there were some stupid bold boys, in their juvenility, testing if the dark reputation surrounding their strange classmate was true. so, they picked a fight with him. and, oh boy, they fought.

you almost fainted upon the sight of a bloody nose and a ruined uniform, going after your son, who directly went to the bathroom. he however, stayed silent about the origin of his bruises, instead opting for calming his poor mother down. you were about to call your husband, probably busy in a meeting, when your phone rung first, showing the number of your son’s school. expecting the worst, your confusion grew upon hearing the booming apology of the principal, something about a fight and how the offenders would face their punishment. he ended the call while begging you to convey all of this to your husband, asking for forgiveness and you thought you heard a slight whimper along his good-byes.

your son was calm, but not to be underestimated as he, like his father, was capable of great violence, but simply chose not to use it. most of the time.

- ,,Yasuhiro Muto

Muto, a man with enough blood on his hands to paint the town, was actually quite the loving father, in his own way. Strict, absent, and not one for much lovey-dovey-physical contact, but he cared about his family, which included you and your daughter.

you tried to raise her as good as possible, and she turned out to be a literal angel. she was quite friendly, with good manners and interested in the world around her. she showed no interest for her father’s occupation and the power and violence that came with it. she had good grades, was quite intelligent and ambitious.

no bully, leader of any kind, or a victim to anything or anyone. after seeing her father once in the school hallway, most of the students decided to stay out of her way nonetheless, so she could be quite lonely. 

but she understood, how could she not after growing up with seeing her fathers’ bruised knuckles and bloody clothes.

Yasuhiro’s affection was something she used to miss, but you tried to make up for it and after telling your husband about how worried you were that he could lose his connection with her, so he made a lot more effort to be there for her. as best as he could, really.

[helaintoloki]

Meet the Family

pairing: Pietro Peter Maximoff x fem!reader

warnings: angst, manipulation, reader is a Westview hostage controlled by Wanda, etc., 2.5k in length

notes: writing a piece that takes place in the WandaVision universe was such a challenging and fun experience, and I really tried to capture the same dark undertones of the show so I hope you enjoy!

summary: An innocent family dinner with Pietro’s new girlfriend reveals that life in Westview is not what it seems. Uncle Pietro introduces y/n to the family!

Y/n almost feels like she’s being watched as the warm hand of her boyfriend— since when do I have a boyfriend?— carefully guides her trembling figure up the front steps of his sister’s house and rings the doorbell. Her grip on the glass dish of brownies in her hands is so impossibly tight she fears she might just break it, and when the silver haired man swoops down to steal a kiss from her cherry gloss stained lips she can’t help but to feel nauseated. The sickness morphs into guilt immediately, and when he looks down upon her with a gaze so tender and fond she forces herself to bat her eyes and smile at him. What kind of girlfriend is horrible enough to be disgusted by a kiss from her own boyfriend? Something isn’t right here...

“Don’t even sweat it, babe, my little sis is going to love you!” Pietro comforts with an easygoing grin plastered on his features.

“I hope so,” y/n murmurs quietly, nervously chewing at her bottom lip. This is the audition, her one shot at impressing the boss, and if even one tiny minuscule detail is thrown out of place then there goes her new house and fancy wardrobe and y/n is written out of the show. Permanently.

“My girlfriend is such a worrywart,” he laughs fondly with a gentle pinch of her cheek. It’s as if a switch is flipped inside of her, and this time when she smiles at him it is genuine and full of unadulterated love.

“I just want everything to be perfect, I know how much this means to you,” she replies earnestly, too dazed to notice the soft aww that drifts through the air from the audience. Pietro smiles.

“Man, did I luck out on finding the most perfect girl in the world or what?”

“Well us being together certainly isn’t a coincidence,” she notes with a small smile. The uneasiness begins to wash over her again, but y/n isn’t given a chance to dwell on the feeling as the front door swings open and a vibrant looking young woman stands in the doorway, almost beaming at the two with pure glee.

“Thank goodness you made it!” She exclaims, hand delicately resting on her chest to showcase her relief before she pulls the stranger her brother into a hug.

“Like we’d really miss Sunday dinner,” Pietro jokes before pressing a chaste kiss to his sister’s cheek. His hand returns to the small of y/n’s back and the fond smile pulls at his lips again. “Wanda, I’d like to introduce you to a very special little lady, my girlfriend y/n.”

“Oh, she’s very special indeed,” Wanda notes with an overzealous wink, ignoring the way in which the brownie dish begins to tremble in the poor girl’s hands. Just a little stage fright, that’s all. “It’s very nice to meet you, y/n. I’m Wanda.”

“It’s an honor to meet you,” the girl replies earnestly, “Pietro has told me so much about you.”

“Well aren’t you sweet! Please, come in,” Wanda grins, ushering the two inside before shutting the door. “Boys, Uncle Pietro is here!”

“What a lovely place you have,” y/n compliments. Her eyes scan the perfectly decorated home in wonder, awe, and a third thing she can’t quite place for if she dwells on it for too long her head begins to ache and her surroundings begin to grow fuzzy.

“Oh, please, it’s just a little something I threw together,” she jokes, canned laughter echoing distantly in the background of y/n’s mind.

“Uncle Pietro!” Two voices exclaim, and y/n watches curiously as her boyfriend lets out an ecstatic laugh before rushing forward to scoop the twin boys in his arms.

“If it isn’t my favorite little trouble makers!” He grins, making sure to ruffle both heads of hair. “Billy, Tommy, say hi to your aunt y/n.”

“Hi, aunt y/n,” Billy greets politely. Tommy is at her side in an instant, movements so quick y/n can’t help but to let out a startled yelp as he lunges for the dish in her hands.

“Are those brownies?!”

“Tommy, where are your manners?” Wanda chides gently, shaking her head with a laugh and reaching for the pastries. “Boys will be boys. I’ll take these off your hands.”

“Oh, uh, yes, thank you...” y/n murmurs softly, brows stitched together in discomfort.

“You’ll have to excuse my husband’s absence, another late night at the office. You know how it is, don’t you?”

“I can’t say I do.”

“Hmm... Well, make yourself comfortable. Dinner will be ready soon, I’ll just go put these in the kitchen.”

“Oh, do you need any h-“

“No,” Wanda blurts out abruptly, startling everyone in the room. She plasters on a smile, “No thank you. How can I be a good hostess if my guest is doing all the work for me?”

“You’re right, I’m so sorry,” y/n flounders, panic clear amongst her features. “I-I didn’t mean to impose at all.”

“No apologies,” the woman murmurs quietly, a small smile on her lips and an admonitory glimmer in her eyes, “we’re going to have a nice family dinner, and everything is going to be just perfect.”

The tension in the air is suffocating, wrapping itself in a slow growing hold around y/n’s neck. Her eyes begin to water, bottom lip quivering in fear as she looks around the room that suddenly feels too big and too bright. She doesn’t belong here with these people, something is wrong, the man she came here with is not hers, and as Wanda’s figure retreats behind the kitchen door y/n makes a mad dash towards the nearest exit.

“Whoa!” Pietro exclaims with an uneasy laugh, and in a blue flash she suddenly finds herself being scooped up off her feet and tossed back down on the couch in between the apprehensive twins faster than her fried brain can even comprehend. “Not so fast there, missy. Just where do you think you’re going?”

“I... I don’t feel right,” the young woman murmurs, wincing at the uncomfortable dryness of her throat as she swallows. “I want to go home and lie down.”

“Don’t be like that, babe,” he chides with a disappointed frown, “this is my family.”

“But what about my family?” Y/n whispers, tears welling in her eyes as she realizes that whenever she attempts to picture the life she once lived not a single thing comes to mind. “I don’t have a family.”

“This is your family now. We talked about this, remember? We came to Westview to make Wanda happy, and you don’t want to upset her, do you?”

“No,” she replies meekly, shuddering when the calloused pad of his thumb swipes across her warm cheek to remove any evidence of tears. No, I don’t want to make her unhappy, because if I do then I’m written off the show and I don’t know what will happen to me if I am. “I want to spend time with my new family.”

“Atta girl,” Pietro grins as he cups her face with both hands and brings her in for a kiss.

“Yuck!” Tommy exclaims in disgust from beside the couple, and this time y/n can’t help the bubbly laughter that escapes her at the young boy’s antics. Any memory of her previous meltdown is quickly wiped from her mind, and all she can think of now is how utterly grateful she is to be loved by such a wonderful man and be taken in by his wonderful family.

She pulls Pietro in for another kiss and giggles uncontrollably when he responds by tickling her sides, all while Wanda watches carefully from behind the scenes.

~~~

“Dream of better lives, the kind which never hate. Trapped in a state of imaginary grace.”

Her voice is quiet and serene as she hums along to the Modern English song playing on the radio, a content smile on her face as she washes the dishes leftover from dinner. It was the least she could do after the lovely evening Wanda had hosted; her sister-in-law had been called upon by the neighbor Agnes for a task that hadn’t quite been specified, so y/n was happy to tidy up while her boyfriend spent quality time with the boys. She couldn’t remember the last time she had felt as happy and content as she did now— she couldn’t remember anything, really— and y/n knew then and there that moving to Westview with Pietro had been the right decision for the family, for his sister and themselves, and for the children, too. Yes, everything was just peachy keen.

The kitchen door swings open and in walks a man y/n has never seen before. He looks just as surprised as she is when their eyes meet, an awkward smile on his red face and the morning paper in his hands, and y/n slowly drops the dish she had been washing back into the sink.

“Hello,” the man greets curtly, “I don’t think we’ve had the pleasure of meeting before.”

“I’m afraid not,” y/n agrees with a bashful smile, quickly removing her rubber gloves so that she may extend her hand towards him for a shake, “I’m y/n, Pietro’s girlfriend.”

“Ah, yes...” he murmurs lowly, cautiously shaking her hand and sizing the woman up and down until she shrinks under his gaze. He means her no harm, but he isn’t sure whether or not she’s part of this cooky little play or just another victim cast under Wanda’s spell. He smiles suddenly, the gesture startling the girl. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m Vision.”

“Oh, yes! Of course. It’s so nice to finally meet you.”

“May I ask where my wife is?” Vision asks.

“She went off to the neighbor’s,” y/n explains before promptly returning to her dish washing. The radio sounds distant and warbled now, the song she had been singing along to now nothing but static and jumbled up syllables, but to Vision’s dismay she doesn’t seem to notice in the slightest.

“How are you enjoying Westview?”

“I’m having the best time. Pietro and I have been talking and we might just have to hunker down in our own little place,” she says with a giggle. “It would be nice to be closer to you all.”

“I must say, having you and Pietro here was quite the surprise.”

“Not a bad one I hope,” she frowns. Vision guiltily refuses to meet her gaze.

“No, not at all. But, might I ask how you two came to be?” Vision asks apprehensively, adding on so that she doesn’t feel cornered, “I’m sure it must be a lovely story.”

“Oh, yes! I remember it like it was yesterday,” y/n swoons dreamily, a fond smile plastered on her face and her gaze casted out towards the living room where Pietro sits playing video games with the boys. She blinks once, twice, eyes never once leaving the silver haired stranger in the couch. A pregnant pause hovers over the two, the porcelain plate trembles in her hands, and Vision watches in silent horror as her eyes begin to well with tears.

“Y/n?” He calls gently, fingertips carefully brushing against her elbow in an attempt to bring her focus back to him. He removes the plate from her iron grip and sets it back carefully in the sink before turning the girl by the shoulders to face him; she still wears that same adoring smile despite the tears that silently fall down her cheeks.

“Forgive me,” she murmurs quietly, “I can’t seem to gather my thoughts properly.”

“Who did this to you? Was it Wanda? Pietro?” Vision press urgently. Y/n sways slightly when he shakes her by the shoulders in a desperate attempt to break her from her trance but still her smile remains.

“Pietro? Oh, he loves me, and I love him.”

“My dear, I don’t think you do,” the man utters sympathetically.

“Of course I do, silly. We were made for each other.”

“Perhaps you were, but not in the way you think. Y/n-“

“Please let go,” she interrupts in a soft, steady voice, looking up at him like a scorned child, “you’re scaring me.”

“If you would just let me,” Vision begins to say, fingertips reaching for her temple in preparation to break her from the spell only to be interrupted by another presence in the room.

“Whoa, what’s going on in here?” Pietro asks with a raised brow and uneasy laugh. “Hey toaster oven, you mind maybe letting go of my girlfriend?”

“Of course, my apologies,” Vision murmurs, stepping away from the girl and allowing her to run into the arms of her boyfriend.

“You okay, babe?” He asks with a raised brow. She isn’t, not in the slightest, but she has a job to do and a role to play, so she merely bats her eyes at him before leaning up and pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“Never been better. Hey, how does dessert sound?”

“I think that sounds lovely,” Wanda chimes, her sudden appearance in the kitchen doorway startling the already present trio. Vision looks like a deer caught in headlights when Wanda saunters over and gifts him with an innocent kiss to the cheek. “Why don’t you and Pietro get the boys settled down while y/n and I prepare the dessert?”

“What a lovely idea, darling,” Vision chimes with an easy smile— y/n isn’t the only one with a role to play. “Come now, dear brother-in-law.”

“Take good care of my girl, little sis,” Pietro calls on his way out. Wanda smiles, her eyes never once leaving y/n’s trembling frame.

“But of course. What is family for? Y/n, be a dear and grab the plates, won’t you?”

“Yes, Wanda,” the girl chimes obediently. She smiles.

“I noticed you seemed a little shaken up just now, is everything alright?” Wanda asks, feigning obliviousness.

“Oh, you know, just some friendly questioning from my new brother-in-law. I’m sure he just wanted to make sure Pietro had found the right match,” she explains with a passive wave of her hand. Wanda hums softly.

“Well we don’t need to worry about that,” she notes. “You’re here for a reason, y/n. Do you know that?”

“For Pietro, and for you,” she replies earnestly, smiling when Wanda takes her hands in her own and gives them a gentle squeeze. “You’ve always wanted a big family, a real family, one that would never turn its back on you or leave you behind ever again. You want a sister and nieces and nephews and love, and I’m here because I can do all of that and more for you.”

“Exactly right. Family is forever, y/n. Are you ready for the commitment that comes with being a Maximoff?”

“I’ve never been more ready,” y/n responds eagerly. Wanda smiles.

“I’m so relieved you said that,” she utters gently, pulling y/n in for a hug so that she may not see the way in which her eyes begin to glow red and waves of energy begin to emit from her fingertips as she carefully settles herself fully into the girl’s mind. She fills her head with thoughts of Pietro and family, with memories she’s never lived and feelings she’s never had, she fills her with love, and y/n is none the wiser.

“Congratulations, y/n,” Wanda utters quietly, comfortingly stroking the girl’s hair, “you’re a Maximoff now.”

[father-time-and-baby-new-year]

M-more armin vs eren drabbles please

WC: 3.2k

Title: Melted Candles

Warnings: possessive behavior, cheating, armin x reader x eren, obsession, unhealthy relationships. manipulator armin & toxic eren.

You’re fidgeting with the hem of your short dress that your loving boyfriend bought you, nursing a drink, and half-heartedly scrolling through your phone.

Sitting on the olive couch alone as the musings of a party transpire, you eye the big and colorful banner sporting the words “Happy 20th Birthday Eren!”.

“It’s like Eren to be late to his own birthday party huh?”

A smooth, gentle voice breaks you out of your trance. You turn sideways to face Armin Arlert, a pretty boy with short-cropped blond hair and wide oceanic eyes. He’s all dressed up in a deep grey turtleneck, navy dress pants, and an expensive Omega watch on his wrist.

You must have looked frightened because he chuckles as he takes a seat next to you, a respectful distance away, “Sorry. Didn’t mean to startle you. Are you having fun?”

“Uh well it’s a surprise party, it’s not like Eren knows he’s supposed to be here.” You have an immediate desire to slap a hand over your mouth after the words spillover. You wince, not entirely in love with the fact that it was your first instinct to defend Eren.

If you had been more observant, you would have noticed the corners of his lips flick upwards in amusement. But Armin is observant enough for the both of you. He notes the color of embarrassment in your cheeks and continues the subject with ease.

“Ah, yeah. That’s right. Eren hates celebrating his birthday, but they're always a good excuse to get everyone together" He pauses before grinning so wide it doesn't look genuine, "-maybe this is more for us than him.”.

There’s an underlying tension in his words you can’t make heads and tails off. It reminds you of how truly little you knew of Eren's very own best friend.

You smile brightly, channeling all the optimism you could into changing the topic: “Everyone’s trying their best today! Sasha did all the catering and managed to leave the cake perfectly alone even though it’s her favorite flavor. She has the patience of a saint today.”

As if on cue, there’s a commotion in the background. Jean yells at Sasha, “Don’t finish all the lemon-pepper wings Potato Girl!”

Armin laughs and it's a pretty sound, a sound that reminds you of a bell chime. Unconsciously, he shifts closer to you, knees knocking into yours.

“Yeah, you’re right. Connie's even hosting it, and he let us decorate his man cave."

You look at the streamers and balloons, and Armin follows your eyes.

“You did a great job decorating.”

You blush, “It was honestly a team effort. Mikasa did way more, I promise.”

“So humble”, he teased. As he smooths his slacks, your eyes can’t help but fall on the shine of the silver band on his slender finger, an engagement ring.

“Annie couldn’t make it today?” There’s a flash of a grimace on his face but he schools his features right away.

“She doesn’t really like parties,” he laughs softly, “She’s like Eren in that way.”

“Oh,” you paused. He was clearly hiding something but it wasn’t in your place to pry. You didn’t know much about Annie. In fact, you were a little intimidated by her icy demeanor and arctic eyes. It amused you at first when you learned she was Armin’s partner.

Opposites must attract, because where Annie was the cold seeping into your bones, Armin was a furnace radiating warmth.

There wasn’t much more to say with the conversation heading to a peaceful silence, until his arms lightly touch yours, “I’m really glad you came.”

His fingertips graze the sleeve of your dress.

You flush, “Well, I wouldn’t be a very good girlfriend if I didn't come to his birthday party.”

The pretty blond clicks his tongue, “I suppose.” He inhales, thumbs swiping the rim of his glass, “You’re too good for him. Do you know that?”

To say you were surprised would be an understatement. You don’t have a response ready but Armin continues, “I love Eren of course. Been friends with him since we were children but-” Deep sigh, “I feel like I barely know him anymore. No one knows him anymore.”

In a small voice, you squeak “I do.” But the unsureness of your tone made your words seem like it was a question.

Armin smiles, one that’s filled with mirth.

Boldly, he squeezes your thigh, the flesh right below where your dress ends, “You deserve better.” His oceanic eyes seem darker under the dim lighting.

Why weren’t you moving away? Were you letting his hand itch closer to roaming the softness underneath silky fabric?

You swivel your head around, praying no one is seeing anything. Thankfully everyone was too swept up in their own conversations. As if to soothe you, his hands draw circles on the soft pliant skin, “Don’t worry, no one can see us.”

The ring glints harshly. Admittedly, Eren’s soft-spoken best friend is just a little attractive. You didn’t always think to see him this way, but Armin changed, and all the general anxiety he possessed matured into a quiet confidence.

He reminds you of Eren in that way. But still, you're at crossroads here. Is Armin making a move on you? Is he warning you? Should you even be here right n-

Your internal monologue is interrupted by Mikasa clapping her hands, and then putting a finger on her lips, “We’re going to turn off the lights, ok? They’ll be here in a few minutes. When Eren starts coming in, yell surprise.” Armin hand’s leave your legs, the warmth gone.

“Oy, oy, oy. Don’t we need a signal?” Connie asks, confusion apparent on his face.

“Jesus Connie, if you can’t even figure this out, what are we going to do with you?” quips Jean.

Mikasa shakes her head.

Sasha lightly punches her best friend, “It’s okay Coomer, just follow my lead.”

“How will that work since you’re stupider than me?” The hazel eyed boy asks, voice dripping in concern. “Eh?” Sasha replies with an equally concerned tone.

Mikasa pinches the bridge of her nose, “I’m going to turn the light off now.”

Eren would be here soon. You barely register Armin putting his arm around the couch, not around you per se, but the proximity was close enough to send your heart racing.

In the switch of a light, the room was engulfed in darkness and excited giggles that Mikasa promptly hushed. And then was just the sound of breathing. You could hear yours and you could hear Armin’s.

Softly, the blond uttered, “I’m going to do something I’ve always wanted to do.” You could feel featherlight fingers tilting your jaw, and capturing your pillowy lips.

The doorknob rattled. Soon after, light from the hallway trickled in. A still moment. As soon as the kiss started, it ended. A flash of light exploded before your eyes and a cacophony of people yelling Surprise! rang out.

At the center of attention was Eren Yeager, who...did not look surprised at all. His eyes were not even adjusting to the light the way yours was. A tall redhead accompanied him, someone who you vaguely recognize as Floch.

The birthday boy was clad in a white button-up, sleeves rolled to his elbows and the top button was unfastened. His dress pants were slim-fitting and black.

The green-eyed boy’s face was devoid of expression. In comparison to his stoic nature, you thought your heart was going to explode.

Wryly Armin says, “Oh look, your boyfriend has arrived.” As if on cue, Eren’s eyes locked with yours.

At that moment, there were too many things to process.

Luckily, Eren was surrounded by a small crowd of his closest friends. You could hear Jean cackle, “Come on! You’re not even surprised.”

You turned your head to face the boy who took advantage of the darkness, a scarlet blush staining your face, “Why did you-?!”

He gazed at you with shining eyes like he had found clarity, not even bothering to feign guilt. With agility only he had, he took your palm in his, “I know you used to like me.”

Blood rushing in your ears, you tear your hands “What are you doing? Eren’s right there. Don’t touch me.” You hissed, scooting away for good measure.

“You didn’t deny what I said.” The blond pointed out calmly, “Yeager is no good for you. He keeps you in the dark about his life and he’s certainly not loyal..”

“I-I can’t deal with this. I never expected this from you Armin.” You shot up from the couch, trepidation filling your nerves, “Now if you excuse me, I’m going to greet my boyfriend.” You uttered the last word with as much hostility you could muster.

Mikasa had her arms wrapped around Eren. Which was fine. They’re best friends. They’ve known each other far longer than you knew him. He thinks of her as a sister.

He thinks of her as a sister.

You walked over, looming behind them. Most of the crowd had dispersed, with only Eren and the Ackerman girl lost in their own world.

What is wrong with you? You scold yourself. You didn’t usually think like this.

“[Y/N]”

Eren noticed you right away, and Mikasa turned around to face you.

“Sorry [y/n], didn’t mean to take so much of his time from you.” The dark-haired girl smiled apologetically.

You could feel guilt gnaw at you, how could you ever suspect her? She waved to Eren, and warmly thanked you, “You did so much of the planning. Thank you.” And before you could reply, she left.

That left you alone with the man himself. “Hi.” You said shyly. He smirked, “Hi babe. Long time no see huh.”

His viridian eyes slowly roamed your appearance, head to toe. You blushed under his stare as they paused longer than necessary on the dip of your neckline, and the expanse of legs not covered by the silk dress.

“So you did all this?” He teased, vaguely gesturing to the string lights, and hanging paper flowers.

He steps closer to you until he’s just a breath away. “Hardly. Just helped out wherever I could.” You whisper.

He hugs you, his tall frame enveloping yours. You feel so safe, pressed against his chest, as his arms compass the slight of your back.

His cologne is your favorite. Subtle, and intoxicating with thick notes of spice. You sniff something else, something overpoweringly distinct.

Still enclosed in his arms, you look up to him, “Did you drink?”

He takes a step back, still wrapping an arm to your waist, “I met up with Zeke. He offered me a drink.”

“Zeke?” You questioned, “You visited your brother?”

Eren was privy to sharing details about his life and you knew virtually next to nothing about Zeke, his half-brother he came recently in contact with.

He kisses the top of your head, and you can feel the loose strands that escaped his bun tickle your face, “It’s nothing to worry your pretty little head about.”

He keeps you in the dark about his life.

“You were cozying up with Armin on that couch, weren’t you?” His tone is light, containing a thinly veiled accusation.

You laugh it off, hoping he wouldn’t notice how tense you suddenly got, “No, no. We were just talking. I was sure I was going to kill myself out of boredom just waiting for you.”

Snuggling closer to him, you stand on your tippy-toes to kiss his jawline, trying to distract him from wavering thoughts.

“Oh?” He asked, “Armin wasn’t entertaining you well enough? Well, he does have a tendency to babble about nothing.”

As he talked, you had a feeling he wasn’t really looking at you, but rather peering straight behind you.

An uneasy feeling fills your lungs, “Um Eren, let’s head to the kitchen. I can fix you a plate. Niccolo did the catering so you know it’ll be really good-”

The tall boy waved your suggestion away, “Not hungry. In fact, why don’t we head over to my best friend? I haven’t talked to him in a while.” You didn't appreciate the mocking lilt in his tone.

Before you could dissuade him, he was already pulling your wrist so you could turn, hand placed on the small of your back, leading you somewhere you definitely did not want to go.

The charming blond was still situated on the couch but this time joined by a woman who was talking rather animatedly. You vaguely recognized her by her chin-length wavy ash-colored locks. Hitch.

“-Annie is so lucky! Jesus, I can’t believe you guys are engaged! And Marlowe still hasn’t worked up the nerve to-”

Eren coughed, asserting his presence. Two pairs of eyes flitted upwards. Hitch sighed dramatically, “Well if it isn’t the birthday boy. The big 2-0. You’re not a teen anymore Yeager. Think you’re ready for the adult world?”

Your boyfriend, who was never one for false pretenses and small talk, ignored her question entirely, “Hello Hitch. If you don’t mind, I would like to catch up with Armin here.”

The woman rolled her eyes, “Guess that’s my cue to leave.” As she stood up, she looked back and forth between the boys, noting the animosity that seemed to permeate the air as they burned holes into each other.

“Why are the vibes so tense? The energies you two are radiating...is reminiscent of a pissing contest”

Without really intending to, you let out a chuckle, attracting the attention of the three people around you.

Hitch’s eyes softened, “[Y/n], I haven’t seen you in a minute. Let’s go do shots with Mina and Hanna.”

Eren’s grip on you tightened, “She’s staying right here Hitch. Enjoy yourself though”

“Funny, I don’t recall asking you. Your girlfriend can’t speak for herself?”

“Uhm, thanks for the offer Hitch but no thank you, I’m not really in the mood to drink right now.” You chuckle nervously, flashing a big enough smile that will ascertain that everything is okay.

Hitch shrugs, “Suit yourself”, and proceeds to walk away.

“Well, I suppose I have to thank you for driving her away. She’s quite...talkative.” Armin breaks the silence. He addresses you both but his eyes are trained on you, “Back already [y/n]?” An easy smile spreads across his face.

You don't look at Eren’s face to gauge his reaction, but you notice how the hand around your waist squeezes almost painfully. The boys stand up to shake hands. Armin gestures for the two of you to sit but the dark-haired boy waves it away, “We prefer to stand.”

The blond gazes between the two of you questioningly but seemingly accept Eren’s response, “Okay then. Guess I’ll stand too.”

“Where’s Annie? Trouble brewing in paradise?”

Armin’s smile hardens, “Don’t know how you’d assume that. She’s just not here.”

Unease pinpricks at you. You could feel trepidation in the air.

“What a shame. Doesn’t Annie like me?” Eren taunts before delivering a line you didn’t expect, “I recall a time where she liked me much more than you actually.”

Surprise is an understatement for how you feel. You didn’t even want to register the implication of his statement. Did Eren and Annie have a past? You lightly touch Eren’s arm in a hint of a warning, “Eren-”

The blond shakes his head, “You’re really something else, you know? Talking about another woman so brazenly in front of your girlfriend? Are you projecting your insecurity onto me since you know” he tilts his head in your direction, “[y/n] liked me first?”

You fluster immediately, jaw-dropping slightly. It was true. You did have a rather big crush on the intelligent blond boy who sat next to you in a class that bored you to sleep. But there was nothing between you two beyond a handful of platonic study dates from when you were freshmen!

Too many moving variables. He was dating Annie and not being the homewrecker type, tried to squash the interest you had. Besides, you were planning to drop that class anyways, and in a twist of fate, it was Armin who had inadvertently introduced you to Eren.

Also, how did that damn Arlert know and why was he bringing it up today of all days?!

Your boyfriend sneers, “Does that really matter when she’s with me? When she’s dating me. And. Not. You.” He punctures the last words out.

“Uhm, I’m right here-” You finally find your voice, “And I’m not really comfortable with being discussed like this.”

Armin’s eyes find yours, “Of course. Sorry [Y/n]. It’s super disrespectful of me-”

Eren cuts in with words heavier than bullets, “Shut the fuck up. Always desperate to play the white knight in shining armor aren’t you? Your duplicity makes me sick.”

As if sensing an oncoming attack, Eren pivots away from you, creating some distance.

Armin closes the gap between himself and the dark-haired boy and bunches Eren’s collar in his fist, “You don’t know how to treat people, you know that? So full of yourself that you think basic decency has an ulterior motive.”

Eren’s eyes dance with mirth, “There’s always an ulterior motive with you, isn’t there though?”. He forcefully shoves his friend, sending Armin stumbling a few steps backward, “You really like pretending you’re one of the good guys when your hands are blood-stained like the rest of us.

You can hear the blood rushing in your ear and you attempt to get in the middle of the impending conflict but Eren grabs your arm with a painful force. He growls,“Step back”. You obey.

“Don’t touch her touch like that.” Armin snarls.

“She’s my fucking girlfriend. I’ll touch her however I want. By the way, just because your little fiance is giving you a hard time doesn’t give you the right to leer at what’s mine.”

At this point you realize you come to your senses, and you leave the area quickly to get help. You scan the area around looking for Mikasa. She’s reliable and always knows what to do. You try to calm your panicked heart.

Gaining speed, you nearly fall by running into someone in the long hallway. Thankfully, the good samaritan is able to catch you in time, holding your shoulders in a firm but comforting grip.

You look up, eager to thank the man who caught you. Mullet. Tall. Slight scruff at the chin. You recognize him right away.

“Woah y/n, what are you running for?” He asks in amusement but one look at your teary eyes has him instantly concerned, “Hey, hey. Are you okay?”

“I-uh,” You’re blubbering, “Armin and Eren are acting kinda strange--I think Mikasa should calm them down.”

Jean’s eyebrows are furrowed, “Strange how? She stepped out so she’s not here right now.” You bite your lips, wondering how you were going to explain the situation.

Jean grabs your shoulder, “Hey, don’t worry. I’ll settle this. Can you take me to them?”

You nod, supremely grateful to have Jean in your corner. As you guys take a turn to the living room, you hear the excruciating sound of glass breaking. “Shit!” Jean curses.

In the middle of the living room stood Eren and Armin like centerpieces, beating the ever-living shit out of each other. You couldn’t see much beyond the fact Armin was throwing punches left and right, landing some but Eren was able to dodge most.

As you move to run forward, Jean grabs you, “No. Stop. There’s glass everywhere. You’re going to get hurt.”

You’re incredulous, “I can’t just let them hurt each other!”

Jean merely looks at you with a look of pity,

[gillianthecat]

I am feeling oddly perfectionist about posting after not posting for so long? To counteract that, I will share my (mostly) unedited responses to The New Employee.

Episode 1 (and the very beginning of two)

I was skeptical at the beginning, given my general aversion to office romance, especially featuring an intern, especially in advertising (although it's still better than "content creation"). And I was feeling a bit over shows based in webtoons after Oh My Assistant (which I realize is a lot of the Korean and Japanese shows and therefore a diverse genre, many of which I’ve liked), or maybe just didn't like the drawing style of the cartoons used. But the rest of the episode won me over. The characters are growing on me. I do enjoy people being good at their jobs. I was worried that the lead was going to be way too chipper, but he seems like he'll be interestingly complex. The scene in the elevator was so good!

And it's so queer! There's a queer student group! His best friend is a queer woman!

I've also realized I'm a person who actually likes love triangles in my stories. I feel like that makes me very basic or something, but I like the tension it creates, and I like it when the protagonist is forced to make choices and figure out what they really want. Obviously, it's easy to do them badly, but when they're good, or even just ok, I eat that stuff up.

Episode 2

-the wrist grab in the meeting! I knew they were going to do it and yet it still made me so happy. and Jong Chan held on for a long time after 😍 and looked slightly flustered when he realized that he was still holding Seung Hyun’s wrist 🥰 (I just went back and timed it, he held his wrist for 47 seconds! which is a long time in 20 minute episode.)

-i would love an office romance that isn’t set in an advertizing/marketing/content creation industry. why not the power company or something? I know I complain about it every time, but every time they start talking about marketing I am tempted just to quit the show altogether. It would be fine if it was just the background, but when they talk about how to convince people to buy things it’s either bullshit, which annoys me, or it’s accurate, which also annoys me. I realized my objection isn’t to office romance in general, just to the specifics of the companies where they’re so often set. At least this one isn’t completely staffed by 22 year olds.

-But I love the love triangle-esque dynamic. And Yoo Seong is so pretty, I do not blame college Seung Hyun one bit for falling for him. Even though his friend Lee Beom is right, Yoo Seong does seem like bad news, manipulative and selfish. But he’s listed as a main role, so hopefully we will still get lots of him.

-And the show is so delightfully, explicitly queer! I think the part that brings me joy is it’s featuring queer community, and happy queer friendships, not just gay boys pining (like Roommates of Poongduck 304, for example.)

-I just went to MDL to get the spellings of everyone names and learned that the main character is supposed to be a “late bloomer” and a “virgin.” This is why I don’t read summaries, I prefer to find things out about the characters as the show tells me. Is his virginity a plot point or a major concern of his? Perhaps it will be, but if not, why are you telling me this. (Ok, fine, after watching the rest of the episode, apparently it will be important to the show.)

- “Because it’s you, Seung Hyun.” What does it mean?! I understand Seung Hyun thinking that it feels like a love confession, because it doesn’t really make sense any other way. Who are you, Jong Chan? You are a mystery man so far. I do appreciate you making sure your intern gets credit for his ideas though.

-ooh the crush is definitely mutual already! But what is Yoo Seong’s game? Is he just a shitstirrer? Is he good hearted and wants to help them get together? My initial assumption was that he wanted to keep Seung Hyun in his thrall, without ever actually dating him, so I was surprised that he would point him out as dateable to his (friend? rival?) coworker. It’s probably because I too am swayed by his pretty face, but so far he’s the character I’m most curious about.

- i’m not sure what I’m going to think about this series. Overall I feel neutral about the main characters so far. They neither grab me nor annoy me; their have been moments I’ve liked but overall neither of them have one my heart so far. Seong Hyun is definitely a puppy, and while he is adorable I tend to prefer the cat romances. Jong Chan is making me mull over my general thoughts about cold stoic boss-type romance figures. GAP is doing interesting things with that archetype (I’m way behind), and I’m also thinking about Alexis Hall’s take on the billionaire romance genre How To Bang a Billionaire, which very self-consciously plays with this tropes. My understanding is het Korean dramas love this dynamic; I haven’t watched that many, but have seen the first episodes of Business Proposal. I think it’s a dynamic I can either love or hate depending on how it’s treated. We need to get enough insight into the cold stoic boss for me to care about them. And it generally doesn’t work if they treat the love interest like shit (GAP treads this line very well as far as I’ve seen). Perhaps I will write more on these thoughts later.

-the protect-him-by-drinking-his-alcohol-for-him maneuver! I love it so 😻I mean, it’s the kind of thing that if someone did that to me in real life I’d probably be tempted to through the drink in their face, but for some reason I love it on screen. And sweet Seong Yoon so earnestly trying to fit in he’s letting people trample all over his boundaries. Good thing Jong Chan is there to protect him.

-ok. my parents came home and I took a long break to watch and think about The Apartment. I wonder if that other office romance will change my thoughts on this one.

-oh! I didn’t realize that his friend from university worked for the same company. Her drunken lack of boundaries is troubling, but I don’t mind because I’m sure that this information about Seung Hyun’s virginity is only going to make Jong Chan fall harder. I do love the way that they look at each other and burst into laughter when Jong Chan asks if they’re dating. And that he’s jealous enough to ask.

-this car ride is confusing me. Is there another man in the backseat, are we sometimes somehow seeing Seung Hyun in a mirror, or did they fuck up the editing and reverse some of the shots?

-However, drunken Seung Hyun is adorable! And clearly Jong Chan agrees. His daring little cheek kiss! Will Seung Hyun remember the next day? What will be the fallout from this? I will find out in one day.

-And of course Korea can’t resist ending on fall-into-his arms

[secondhand-trash]

Family Matters

Kinktober 2020 — stepcest

A/N: This idea had been sitting in my brain for months and getting to write it out AND be on time for the last day of kinktober is the perfect wrap up for this crazy month.

Description: You would do anything to get yourself a place in this family.

Pairing: Todoroki siblings (Touya, Fuyumi, Natsuo, Shouto)x reader

Warning: stepcest/pseudo-incest (absolutely do not proceed if this isn’t something you’re comfortable reading), no relationships portrayed in this fic is healthy, toxic family dynamics, reader is bit of a manipulative bitch, consensual but not exactly the traditional sense of consent, Rei died, brief mention of cheating, nee san/nii san kink, vaginal penetration, oral (giving), choking, face fucking, creampie, marking, voyeurism, threesome, spitting, degradation, thigh riding, fingering

Word count: 16025 (wtfwtfwtf-)

**please read the warnings through before clicking the read more, very important**

-

You attended your mother’s wedding with the sweetest smile you could manage and a painful ring in your ear the moment she said: “I do”.

It was a small ceremony with only close friends and family, which also meant that there was little to no one in the audience as your mother walked down the aisle to meet the man at the other end. 

You would think that marrying the reigning no 1 pro-hero would finally bring your mother the fantasy of being part of a fortunate family she never got to have, but we couldn’t always get what we want, could we?

You and your mother were the family underdog, the number of your relatives you had met up with the last several years since your birth father passed away and left a huge loan on your back waiting to be cleared up could be counted with less than the fingers on one hand. The first time someone showed up at your doorsteps screaming murder was a blur to you. You were around 17 at the time, not young enough to forge ignorance to what was going on but not mature enough to push the foul words seeping into your ears away, all you could remember was the way your mother clutching you close to her chest like it wasn’t her that was sobbing until the banging at the door finally ceased. 

You switched schools, having no way to afford the tuition of the one you were attending when your family was struggling to stay under a proper roof, essentially disappearing from the circle you used to exist within in a matter of days. Sometimes, you would feel the impulse to cackle at the thought that there was a time when you thought you were so brilliant and you had a whole life ahead. You got into the hero course of one of the best schools in the country, you were not the best but you did think there was something in you that people must not be willing to let go of this easily. You truly did think the world wouldn’t just let you sunk down like that, but it turned out that dropping out of the spotlight was enough for people to forget about you when there were hundreds and thousands of other equally brilliant people stepping under the public eye each day. 

You realised at the point in your life that some days you were simply alone, and no one would help you without a good enough reason for them to do so, something that your mother seemed to have either genuinely or deliberately chose to ignore. She went from person to person, hoping that one of them would be the answer but it was a fruitless journey. When you needed someone, people would pick it up, and it was a dangerous thing to be the one that was in need and couldn’t get away. You had witnessed countless of arguments, a scary amount of things crashing and frantic sobbing late at night when the crying echoed in the darkness you tried to surround yourself with by burying your face deeper and deeper into your pillow like it blacking out could make things go away.

This went on for years, and at some point you chose to turn your head away from it like not going home meant you could run away from the broken family you were bound to. Until one day, your mother crashed into you with a suffocating hug the moment you stepped into those doors you had so dreaded returning to every day, her voice barely coherent as she choked her words out through broken sobs and hiccups.

“We’re free... we’re finally free!”

She said it with such relief that you couldn’t even process the emptiness in your heart when she held your face in her hands before pulling you close to her again.

You figured out from bits and pieces that she let slip through her giddy words that someone had paid up the rest of the loan and interests that was left, and from the way her voice got just a little louder when she talked about that someone and the flush on her face, you knew it wasn’t just some chivalrous stranger that stepped in during a time of need like she had wanted to mask it up to be.

You had never met Todoroki Enji until your mother announced at the dining table one night with an expression so sheepish and girly that she was to marry this man you had only ever heard the name of. But even with the lack of exchanges before you sat down opposite to him the first time when you accompanied her to discuss the details of the wedding, you would expect that someone of his status and respect would at least have someone other than his own kids at his wedding.

His kids. You knew things wouldn’t go as easily as your mother had made it out to be. She had acted like you were finally out of the hot waters and secured comfort for the rest of your life just because she married a wealthy man but you knew the moment you met the eyes of the four Todoroki children, sitting side by side in one straight row opposite to you, that it wasn’t just the man of the house that had a say in what would become of you. 

Touya was the eldest and the least bothered to pretend like he was pleased about this arrangement. He was leaning back against the chair with one leg propped up when you walked in, his eyes scanning you from top to bottom in a scruntinising stare until he was given a hiss in warning from his sister, to which he replied with a snort and a very showing eye roll as you sat down. There was no hiding the sneer in his voice whenever he spoke up, each word lacing with an evidential edge and the clear distaste he was showing towards his new stepfamily. The way he looked down at you when he bumped against your shoulder before walking out the door was nearly uncomfortable, but he seemed to be somewhat pleased when you didn’t shy away from his gaze, walking out with his hands in his pockets and a smirk toying against his features as his father sighed.

The sister, Fuyumi, had apologised when Touya offhandedly pointed out that his father didn’t even wait until his mother’s corpse was cold before finding another woman. Her smile was empathetic and the way she carefully picked up your hand when she greeted you should have been enough to make up for the hostility her brother had showcased but if you had paid attention enough, you would pick up that despite the apology, she didn’t exactly disagree with the statement either. She was always friendly, her eyes curling into two thin strands behind her glasses as she walked you through each step of the ceremony without a chance for you to interrupt. She was nice enough, but also just enough and the distance she kept from you was something that you picked up on in your initial encounter. It was also through her that you found out what happened to Enji’s last wife, and the practiced look on Fuyumi’s face when she recalled how her mother died after a long battle against her illness sent chills creeping up your back far more than any mean remarks could.

Which explained why the wedding venue looked eerily empty as the march played. After all, what would the world say about how little it took for the man to step out of mourning for his dead wife and found himself another one?

Todoroki Natsuo gave you nothing but a hasty nod when you sat down opposite to him, staying quiet for the most parts of the meeting except for a short word of reply here and there when Fuyumi cued him. He had his arms crossed in front of his broad chest all during the process, his eyes looking down at the document but clearly not focused on any of the things that his sister was explaining. There were a few times when you caught him glancing at you for the brief moment when you looked up, flicking his gaze away from you almost immediately with your eyes barely meeting. Of the four siblings, he seemed the most... normal, if you would. The way he acted almost a bit awkward around the new sister that he suddenly had around when he was well into his twenties and gave nothing but bare minimal answers whenever you even tried to initiate a conversation was what you thought would happen.

Then there was Shouto. Oh, sweet Shouto. You had never expected that this was the way you met your formal underclassmen once again after you dropped off of your road in being a hero completely without so much as a proper announcement. There was no mistaking the way his eyes widened and shoulders tensed up when you walked into the room that he remembered you well which came as quite the surprise to you. You had heard of him even after leaving Yuuei, of course. A real star, so talented and came from such a background, already climbing up near the top even though it had only been a good year since his real debut into the professional world. You simply found the boy one year your junior endearing when you were still his senpai, the way he was so serious about every little tease and remark you made could only be described as adorable.  

But certainly, he had changed so much since you last saw him years ago. His back just a little wider, his jaw stronger, the look in his eyes did not belong to the same boy who did not shy away from staring when you walked past but of a man who had seen his handful of the world to know what you being there meant. You had a strong feeling that he would have acted way more hostile than he did have you been anyone else, his lips pursing tightly together like he was forcing himself to hold back as he stared straight at you.

All in all, sneers or polite chuckles or skittering glances or straightened backs, it did not take much to know that none of them was particularly pleased about their father’s remarriage and if the empty wedding was any sign, you and your mother were still utterly outsiders despite the documents with your changed names claiming otherwise.

The tall wall they had built was all the more apparent when you moved into the Todoroki residence, feeling more like you were mouse scrambling to find a gap you could hide into under this roof that had taken you in than anything else. If the four had gave your mother a cold shoulder or straight up pretend like she wasn’t there, then each and every single little gesture they made towards you reminded you time and time again that you did not belong. 

Touya always bumped against your side just a little bit too hard for it to be an accident when he walked past you into the dining room, the “apology” he threw down sounding almost like a cackle as you were nearly knocked off your feet. Fuyumi always bringing up childhood memories or family traditions that you wouldn’t know of, only to brush it off with a smile and explaining it to you like she was the silly one for assuming that you would know about these things when you “only just moved in”. Natsuo was rarely around due to his job at the hospital as a whole, but when he did he made sure that his interactions with you remained to be limited to standard small talk. Each mundane topic always ending on a dead end and both of you looking away. Shoto was decent to you, but there was still an evidential wariness in his gaze as he walked past you and somehow it was the deliberate distance from him that acted like a stake right through your heart, a constant reminder that you took up a space that was never yours to begin with.

There was hurt, but then it was the unwavering fear of being isolated that sent chills down your spine at the cold stare from your supposed family. 

Your mother was convinced that she unlocked the key to a life of security by marrying Todoroki Enji, but you knew better than to be fooled by the current state of you getting a pass because of the one mountain this shaking wall called family was leaning against.

Once he was out of the picture, it was his four children that would get to have a say on what they were to do with you, and you swore you could already see how that would go for you.

You were not going back to that low point in your life, not ever again, and you would do anything to make sure you secured a place for yourself within the family one way or another.

-

Jerking up awake at night in cold sweat was not fun, especially when it still took your brain a good few moments before registering where you were when your eyes shot open to see the high ceiling that you still hadn’t gotten used to yet.

You wonder if you would ever get used to it.

You groaned inwardly as you rolled to your side, wincing at how tight your throat felt at each swallow of the burning liquid that pooled in your mouth. You dreamt of your old life again, one when you still hadn’t gone to living under someone else’s roof. You had thought that you were over it by now but the hollowness left in your chest somehow irritated you even more than the dream itself. 

Fucking hell, it felt like every muscle in your back was hurting.

Slowly stretching your limbs out, you held your head in your palm as you suffered through the dizziness in your head when you sat upright at the edge of your bed. A string of shivers crept up your spine when your toe touched the cold floor, the tatami rough under the tip as you fumbled to find your room slippers. It took some adjusting for you to find your way out of the pitch black room, trying your hardest to slide the door open as lightly as you could as you clutched your arms closed to your body under the chill on your exposed arms.

The house was in radio silence and you were cautious of the drag of your slippers as you made way down to the kitchen, careful to lower the volume of your steps with your feet arched and holding the slipper tight to the heel.

You let out a shaky breath when you finally got downstairs. Your hand felt around the side of the door to find the switch, pressing your eyes tightly together as the light pained you the moment you flicked the switch and light blazed in the kitchen.

The clink of the ceramic made you feel alive again as the water ran down your throat, the cold soothing the tautness at the back as you gulped down. A content sigh slipped out of your lips as you put the mug down, a droplet threatening to roll down your chin and you brought the tip of your finger up to wipe it away.

“Look what we have here...”

You jumped at the sudden voice, earning you a wolfish chuckle from the man who was leaning against the door frame. Touya looked a lot more at ease than he usually was when he was around his family, the sweatpants that were almost a bit too big for his lean frame hanging loosely around his waist as his back arched, pushing himself off the wooden frame before sauntering to your side.

You straightened your back, feeling tensed as he seemingly ignored your presence as he got his own cup and poured it full of water with his other hand on his waist. You weren’t sure if you were supposed to look as he tilted the cup up, his slender neck arching back as his throat bobbed, the muscles at his stomach flexing with each swallow.

Your fingers clutched tightly around the mug you were holding when he let out a muffled cough, piercing up at you from the back of his hand when he saw that you were not moving away.

You were taken aback when he snorted, throwing his head back a little before fixing his gaze on you again with an amused smirk lingering his pierced lips.

“Oh, relax,” your eyebrows locked together at the dismissive huff from your usually sneering stepbrother, “it’s too early for me to start making your life miserable, save the defense for after 8.”

His stare was almost invasive as he grinned at you but despite the twist in your stomach at being alone with arguably the most unbearable of the siblings, you did not move your own eyes away as you put down the cup in your hand. “So you do it on purpose,” you said, trying to make yourself sound sterner as you crossed your arms in front of your chest. 

You did not think anyone else other than you would be up at this hour, or else you would have grabbed a jacket before slipping out of your room. If his gaze was already uncomfortable to be under, than the fact that your body was covered by nothing but a thin spaghetti strap and cotton shorts did not help how exposed you feel. 

Touya laughed and it took all the will in you to not shrink your form down even more at the cackle. “Why else would I bother?” he said matter-of-factly, "Someone has got to tell the old man that none of us is happy with what he did.” He paused, “It isn’t really about you, if that’s something you want to hear.”

“I’m not interested in your family drama.”

“Well, too bad you’re part of the family now,” he mused, his eyes still following you as he slowly strided towards the door. “Remember to look just as pissed as you are now when I poke fun at you in the morning.”

The swaying of his frame stopped when you opened your mouth.

“What do I have to do for you to leave me alone?”

Your heart was pounding in your chest when he stopped in his tracks before slowly, very slowly turning around to face you again. 

“Leave you alone?” he repeated, accentuating each syllable that rolled off his tongue as he stepped closer and closer to you.

“I’m just trying to get by,” you looked straight at him when he stopped right in front of you, towering over you slightly as he stared down, “if you want to stir shit up then I can help as long as you leave me a piece of what’s left.”

“Hm... a fighter, aren’t you?” his voice came out as a purr, the rumbling in his chest almost transferring to you with how close he was. His eyes raked across your form when he saw that you didn’t back away, the defined dent of your collar bone and the supple skin that was pressing against the elastic of your low collar.

He could allow a change of plans if it meant he could get a piece of a little something for himself.

“Then tell me,” he licked his lips, “what are you willing to do for my help?”

“Anything.”

The glint in his eyes grew at how you didn’t hesitate with your words. 

“Anything?” he asked with a crock of his head to the side, his fingers barely trailing along your bare arms as he drank in the way you were fighting against the shivers rising on your skin, “because I can think of a few ways for cute little sisters to get on their big brother’s good graces..."

His touch on your arm was distracting but your mouth still ran dry at the implication of his offer. You could not deny that when you lie awake on your bed, staring at the ceiling and thinking of how you could possibly slither your way through in this house that you had briefly contemplated if you could get intimate with your siblings in a less morally-accepted way but you brushed it off as a silly thought almost as quick as you came up with it when you felt how hostile they were towards you.

You were convinced that they would not wait until Enji was gone to kick you out if you made a move on them, but the fixed stare and gravel in Touya’s voice was telling you a whole other truth.

The chills on your spine settled into the pit of your stomach as excitement when you made the realisation that he wanted you, and it meant the others could too.

His grin looked like it was spilling his face in half when you pushed yourself against his chest, your thinly clad breast pressed up against his bare skin when the light touch on your arms turned into full blown caresses as his hand got bolder. He could feel the slight pebble of your nipples taunt against the fabric and the thrill sent his blood boiling.

“Anything.”

His palm was burning against your skin as he got rougher and rougher, the press of his fingers turning into gropes when he reached the swell of your waist and down to your hips. The sudden dug of his nails into your flesh took you by surprise when he shoved you away from him, smiling from ear to ear like the chesire cat when he hooked his hand at the elastic of his sweats where a print was starting to strain against the fabric.

“Then get on your knees, baby sister.”

The tiles were not forgiving on your skin when you sunk down, looking up at the man who was palming himself from under his pants with his eyes slanted and fixed on your kneeling form. You winced when he fisted your hair in his hand, pulling your head back a bit too forcefully when he pulled his half-hard cock out of its constraints. The pain on your scalp seeped through your head until it was nothing but a tingle on your skin when his slender fingers wrapped around the base of his length that was right at your eye level, drinking in the way you could only stare at him from behind your lashes as he held you still.

He hummed in approval when you parted your lips, your tongue lolling out almost performatively when he gave a firm tuck to his cock. The silver bud at the crown of his cock left a strange numbness on your lips as he traced his tip along the rim of your mouth, leaving a slight sting on your tongue when he brushed against the muscle.

“Make sure to get all of it...” he whispered, releasing the tension of his pull on your scalp when he pushed his cock in with a languish surge of his hips. You bit back a whine when you felt the many more piercings at the underside as it brushed against your tongue, your hands flying up to grip at his thighs when he gave a slight pat to the back of your head.

He groaned when you took more of him in, hollowing your cheeks out as you set a pace for the bobbing of your head. The piercings were rigid against your tongue and you made sure to give each nub equal attention while your hand fisted around where you could not fit into your mouth. He kept one hand in your hair while the other found support on the kitchen counter, eyeing the way your lips wrapped around his cock as you tried to please him.

His head tilted back with a sigh when you cupped his balls, your palm warm on his sack when you sucked in a deep breath and sunk in all the way. Tears prickled at the corner of your eyes when his hard tip hit the back of your throat, the burn shooting up to your nose as its tip brushed against his pubic hair. Touya felt the pulse at the side of his neck as your throat contracted around him, the tightness making his hand clutch at the back of your head as his length throbbed in your mouth. He snapped down to look at you when you pulled away with a cough, sucking in a deep breath as your chest heaved and your hand pumped his cock sloppily with your spit that was coating him.

You could sense his muscles taut under his skin as you let him go, his thighs flexing under your hands while you jerked him off like he was holding himself back deliberately.

To have someone that was just mocking you earlier today now stiff in your hand, lips parted and biting back a moan felt really, really good.

You were staring up at him, almost in challenge as you run your tongue along his shaft. “Someone’s good at this,” he cooed, sounding a little breathless when he laughed. The sound was replaced by a chocked moan when you took him in again, a soft hum from the back of your throat in reply had him nearly losing control when the vibration sent shocks down his core. 

You gagged when he pulled you off his cock, the string of saliva that connected your lips and his leaking tip sending him into an overdrive as he decided that he could not wait any longer. A yelp was ripped from the back of your throat when he pulled you up, shoving you against the counter with your face facing down.

Your hand fumbled to prop your body up with your palms flat on the marble surface, a silent whimper leaking pass your lips when you felt your shorts and underwear being peeled off of you with a swift pull. He pressed on your back with the tips of his fingers, each knuckle of his digits propping up as he arched your ass up with the help of his hand. Your face heated up at the way you perched up, bare cunt exposed for him to see as you clenched around nothing in reflex with the cold air that fanned against your folds.

Your body shifted with each exhale, the warm breaths spreading over your face as your cheek squished against the marble that was growing hotter and hotter from the heat on your face. Touya gripped onto the side of your hips, fingers digging into the flesh as he pulled the cheeks apart, licking his lips at the sight of the light sheen on your slit.

You whimpered when he ran a finger along your folds and the uncontrollable gush of wetness as the calloused pad pressed down on your hooded clit. His eyes were fixed on your cunt and how you immediately pushed your hips back for more friction when he positioned his tip at your opening, rubbing the bead of pre along the slit as your folds parted around him.

“Who knew our new sister is such a whore...” 

His hand was fast to clasp around your mouth when he sheathed in you without a warning, the stretch leaving a burn in your core and threatening to make the cry slip past your lips when he held himself still. His cock was hot inside your walls, like he was melting in with your guts until all that was left of you was a puddle. 

You moaned into his palm when he started thrusting up. His hand might be able to muffle the lewd noises you made but there was no way to hide the sounds of skin slapping against skin that bounced off the walls. The position you were in made each slam of his pelvis against your ass hilting his cock deep in you until you could feel him leaving a print in your womb, the piercings adorning his length dredging along your insides with each snap of his hips. The nubs rubbing against you made your back arched and your knees weakened, leaving a permanent feeling in you even as he bottomed out.

“To- Touya!” 

His hand ran down your neck at the panting call of his name, fumbling with the elastic of your top before yanking it down and spilling your tits. You turned your head back with a struggle, his hand that was groping your chest pulling you up against his back until he could meet your lips in a sloppy kiss.

“Nu-uh, that’s not how you should call me,” he growled into your mouth, a mean-spirited pinch at your nipple had you squeaking against his hot touch.

“Touya nii-”

The mewl earned you a forceful plow of his length in you, the coil in you tightening when he drilled into you at a much more vicious speed.

“That’s a good little sister...” he mumbled in your ear, his hand now right below your chest while the other held tightly onto your ass. You threw your head back, pushing yourself deeper on his cock as he grunted, pulsing in you as he fug his nails into your skin.

Your lips fell open but nothing came out when he wrapped his free hand around your exposed throat, pressing down just enough for you to feel a rush of adrenaline pumping through your veins into your head when he hilted in you one more time before shooting ropes of his release deep into your core. His breath was shaky and warm at your earlobe as he cum in you, his load filling you up as he squeezed down on your neck to rip a breathless gag from you.

You could feel his cock going limp inside of you while he held you still, his cum threatening to leak out of your fluttering folds but was stopped by his cock still pressing snugly against your sex. You could smell the sweat on his body when he leaned down, heaving chest right at your back as he brought his hands up to cup your tits. His breath tickled against your skin, the piercing at the corner of his lip brushing at the sensitive area as he spoke lowly and slowly.

“Let’s have a lot of fun helping each other.”

-

Touya was always the latest to show up for breakfast each morning and this morning was no exception, but the entire table fell into deadly silence when he looked at you first before he did everyone else as he slammed himself down on his chair.

“Good morning, sis.”

The silence was almost uncomfortable and the sickly sweet tone of his voice echoed in the room before vanishing into thin air. You were facing him directly but your eyes did a brief glance around the room. Your mother and Enji were dumbfounded, Natsuo had his mouth agape, Shouto’s eyes were as big as the moon and Fuyumi’s eyebrows locked together slowly but visibly.

A lot of fun indeed.

You smiled, and the crisp ring of your voice shocked everyone when you parted your lips.

“Good morning, nii san.”

-

The mutually beneficial relationship with Touya continued. Some nights, you would feel a slight brush against your calf under the dining table and you knew he was to pay you a visit. He slipped into your room when everyone else was asleep, jackhammered you onto the mattress and make you scream into your pillow before whispering things about the family that you would otherwise never know of against your lips as his cum spilled out of your abused hole.

He was rough with his hands, especially when he was taking out his frustration on you, but there was no denying that the fucking was good and the information was valuable. He told you about how he had three siblings instead of being an only child because he was a disappointment and why his mother was sent away. The snort he let out was chilling as he told you how his sister was desperately holding the family together through the years and that the second son of the Todoroki family could be worse than him in terms of temper once the right buttons were pushed.

And they knew, they had to know or had made a guess at the very least, because there’s no other way you could explain why there were bruises littering all across your inner thighs when the skin just showing below the edge of your shorts was clean the night before. Occasionally, you would catch the boys staring at the barely visible mark right at your collar at the table, Natsuo a little bit more subtle with his eyes flickering away the moment you looked up and Shoto not hiding the fact that he was looking as he pressed his eyebrows together. Fuyumi was a whole lot more nonchalant about it, either she really didn’t know or she was very good at staying away from things that weren’t her business. Your guess leaned towards the latter. 

You were waiting to see which one of them would finally let their concern snap first and approach you about it, and it seemed like what Touya told you about his siblings was rather accurate when you were left along the house with your second stepbrother one weekday afternoon.

You were rarely left alone at the house with any of your step siblings, much less Natsuo. Doctor Todoroki was always the first one out the door and the last one to come back each day, slipping into his room by the time he got back in the early mornings from the hospital and not appearing until he had to go back again. 

Today was a bit different. Today, Todoroki Natsuo got to sleep past his alarm and sat in the living room as the sun shined through the window while the rest of his family was out doing their own thing. Except you, who coincidentally had nowhere to do during his precious day off and was staring absentmindedly at the tv while he tried to not pay too much attention to the limp in your walk and the hickey that was very much so not hidden by your loose shirt.

Natsuo gulped down the words that were stuck at the back of his throat, feeling his tongue laying flatly against his mouth as he felt the air around him thicken. 

No one had said anything about the clear elephant in the room when the rest of the family was around. His father and your mother were clearly oblivious, but he was sure the same question definitely appeared in his siblings’ heads. It frustrated him that Fuyumi only brushed it off as him being overly suspicious when he tried to hint that something but be going on between the new stepsister and the oldest Todoroki, even more so when Shouto was straight up in denial about how obvious it was. 

If anything, he was more concerned than anything else. He was sure Touya couldn’t be the nicest man to be involved with especially when he recalled all the malicious things his brother had said about how much he loathed the idea of a new stepsibling before his father got married.

“Did he hurt you?”

You froze in place at the abrupt question. Turning your head to the side, you saw Natsuo with his jaw clenched and lips pursed together at the other end of the coffee table. “He?”

“Touya,” he repeated, this time sounding a little firmer than before, “he is taking advantage of you, isn’t he?”

Oh.

Oh.

You glanced to the side, lowering your head a little as you toyed with the hem of your shorts. A slight thrill welled up in your chest when you heard him scooching closer to where you sat at your timid posture. He looked so concerned, like he was truly believing that you were in a compromisable position that you couldn’t tell anyone about.

What a good man he was, Todoroki Natsuo, you almost feel bad for pretending to hesitate before you slowly hook your finger under your shirt and lifted it over your head.

Natsuo’s breath hitched when he saw the bruises that covered your chest in the areas that weren’t covered by your bra. Bite marks darted along your skin, the subtle scars in the shape of finer prints burnt into the side of your waist. Touya got into a particularly fiery argument with Enji last night, and the aftermath was what Natsuo was now seeing as you stripped of your top in front of him. You had winced when you woke up that morning to see how fucked up you looked, fully planning to get Touya back for bruising you up this badly next time he touched you but you didn’t expect that his lost of control would be of use later on.

You looked battered, and you didn’t miss the gasp that left his lips as you folded your arms in front of your chest to make yourself smaller, pressing the marked skin of your chest together and pushing your cleavage out in the process.

“He’s so rough with me, Natsu nii...”

You sounded like you wanted to cry as you shy away from him, and his heart broke when you flinched away from his touch as he gently held onto your forearm. 

You were so delicate and fragile, how could anyone treat you as horribly as this? 

He let out a shaky breath when you latched onto his broad chest the moment he pulled you onto his lap. “Poor baby...” he whispered against your skin as he dipped his head down caging over you as he gingerly pulled your folded arms away. His throat bobbed at the sight of your curves and the many bruises dotting on your supple skin. You whimpered when he planted a soft peck on your neck, tilting your head back to allow him more access as his hand fumbled with the hook of your bra. 

You whimpered when he took it off of you, the strap sliding off your arms until it was thrown to the side. He could see all the marks and scars on your skin much more clearly now and it only fueled his urge to touch you all over and make sure he drowned you in affection even more. 

You whimpered when he rubbed circles against the side of your hips, his lips pressing against a particularly gruesome bruise below your collar bone.

“Natsu nii-

“Shh... it’s ok,” he hushed you with a peck on your pouting lips, pulling at your bottom lip softly when he pulled away, “nii chan will take care of you.”

His hand was cautious as he caressed your skin, soft lips trailing down your neck and darting his tongue out to swipe across each bruise and mark along the way. The brush of the tip tickled, leaving a spark of numbing tingles down your spine as his miniatures took over your head. Natsuo took his time, reducing you into mush with each press of his thumb at the side of your thighs and nibble of his teeth. A breathy moan slipped past your lips when he traced your pebbled nipple with his tongue, the air fanning against your skin making you all the more sensitive as he rolled the perked bud between his fingers. He treaded against the clouds of purple at the underside of your chest lightly, placing open kisses at each bruise like he was trying to erase the trails of what his brother had left on you.

Your hands held onto his shoulders when he buried his face in your chest, cupping the soft mounds in his palm as he licked each swell and dent on your torso. You whimpered as his large hands slipped past the elastic of your shorts, groping your ass as he lifted you off his lap just enough to pull the article off of your limbs. You felt a strange bashfulness when he eyed your naked form, almost looking like he was in awe when he slid his arms around your waist. 

Perhaps you were getting too into the mindset of a sweet baby sister wanting their brother’s attention that your body was starting to adopt the role a little bit too well.

“Lay down.”

His hand supported you at the small of your back, his much larger frame shadowing over you almost immediately at you touched the cold surface of the floor. The textured front of the tatami rubbed against your skin as he planted a firm kiss on your lips and you hissed into his mouth when the scratches down your back from last night by one very impatient Touya burned on your senses. 

Natsuo noticed your discomfort, cooing into your lips as his tongue slipped past your teeth and explored the warm cavity greedily. Your eyes were glassy when he pulled away, looking like a veil had draped over your vision hastily as you stared at him blankly and your lips parted. 

If he thought the marks on your upper body was bad, then seeing your naked form proved that he had severely underestimated what you had gone through before he took notice. You looked dazed as he perched on top of you, his eyes raking all over your body as he took count of the many bite marks and bruises that dipped down the v that led to your sex and your thighs that were pressed together tightly. There were clear marks of fingerprints littered over the plump flesh of your legs, evidential of how exactly did Touya take you last night.

You shuddered underneath Natsuo when he gripped onto your knees and parted your legs, arching your back off the ground and looking to the side to hide your face when he stared straight at your bare cunt. Your folds clenched with each heave of your chest, looking all the more inviting with the sheer shine that coated your core from his earlier touches. But he found himself immediately noticing the faded marks at the back of your thighs where they were connected to your hips, the prints permanent on your skin and whispering to him exactly what you had been doing with his brother when no one was around.

The image of Touya digging his fingers into your thighs as he folded your legs up despite your whines burned into his head, his vision growing redder and redder at the thought of your tight hole being railed so hard you tear up in pleas but to no avail.

He was supposed to be the nice brother, the gentle one who kiss you all over and holds you in the center of his palm before putting you back into one piece after the other had shattered you, but all he could think of was how much he wanted to replace the same tears with his own marks right now when he was looking right at the tiny body that his brother had messed with.

“Natsuo...? Ah-” you squeaked when his previously soft hold was replaced with a sudden squeeze at your inner thigh, your limbs being manhandled into a position that was challenging your flexibility. You could not help but throw your head back when he pushed your legs all the way up until they were hooked over his shoulders, the back of your knees almost touching your chest when he leaned down once again.

His tongue tangling with yours distracted you from the sounds of belt buckles rattling for a second, until the feeling of something prodding at your entrance brought your eyes snapping open. 

“Don’t worry about a thing...” he muttered against your lips as he dragged his leaking tip along your folds, his hand pulling the hood of your clit back and rubbing at the sensitive nub to ease more of your wetness out until his cock threatened to glide past your fluttering folds with the lubrication. His eyes were fixed on your face, but your reflection appearing on his blown out eyes seemed almost empty as he talked but more like to himself than to you.

His length felt heavy as the tip pushed past the muscle of your walls, earning him a breathless sigh from you as you took his hot inch bit by bit until it settled at the pit of your stomach. You could feel every part of his pressing against you in this position, your core flexing to accommodate his girth but still felt a white burn at the back of your head when he rolled his hips before slamming down again.

He was much... thicker than Touya, and the vein that was throbbing at the side of his shaft left a phantoming feeling in your walls with every thrust. His face was buried at the crook of your neck, each grunt and pant warm on your skin and seeping into your core as vibrations from his chest. There was no space between your bodies as he drilled into you, his plows short and rapid like he did not even want to have a second of his body not touching yours. 

Your voice sounded foreign to your ears as you gripped onto his hair for leverage, the broken notes of each mewl and the pathetic cries making you feel possessed as your knees shook with each hilt of his tip in that spongey spot deep inside of you.

“Na- Natsuo nii...”

He groaned at the sweet moans of his name rolling off your tongue, his hand running up and down at the back of your thigh in encouragement when you clamped down strongly around him with each slap of his balls against your ass.

“Fuck-” he gritted in your ear, his thrusts growing sloppy as you tried to lift your hips up to meet him and pushing his cock deeper into you, “you’re so pretty like this... so pretty taking your nii chan’s cock-”

You whined at the compliment, even though the reaction felt so off for the mindset you went into this with. There was something about how differently demanding he was when he was fucking into your tight cunt, the way he wanted to drink in all of your attention and send you into a spiral making thrills boil up in the waves of pleasure that crashed onto you.

He thought he was the one with the power, but we all take what we need from who we want it from.

“Cum around me- that’s it... that’s it...”

He let out a choked moan as your walls spasmed around his aching cock, his hands holding your legs firmly as he held himself still with his hips pressed up snugly against your hips. Your head fell back as your lips parted when you felt the warmth of each spurt of his cum painting your insides, each pulse and throb of his length printing against your walls. A soft whimper was pulled from the back of your throat when he pulled out, the last few drops of his load darting across your lower stomach as he remained his hold on your legs. Natsuo felt breathless at the beads of white that was seeping past your slit, his hands moving before he could think to push the leaking substance back into your hole despite the weak moans you made as you shook under his touch.

Natsuo pressed his palm flat against your sex like he was blocking the mixture of your arousal and his released from slipping out when he brought his hand under your arm. You couldn’t do anything but laid soundly in his arms when he lifted you up, your legs felt like jelly as he held you close to his chest.

“Get some rest, baby, I’ll tuck you in after cleaning you up...”

-

The arrangement continued, but this time with one more man into the mix.

Every night after Touya arrange your guts, Natsuo would put you back together with languish thrusts and not an inch of your skin untouched the next day. Where the eldest burned, the other would soothe over with icy breaths and gentle coos. All Natsu nii asked for return was the loving stare you gave him from behind your fluttering lashes and sheepish nods when he asked you if you feel good from your nii chan’s touch.

What you nearly forgot about, however, was that every night there was another Todoroki you had pushed to the back of your head just a wall next to you while you were getting your brains fucked out.

Todoroki Shouto was probably the most conflicted of the bunch when you walked into the meeting room for the first time. If anyone had asked, he would not deny that back when you were still his upperclassman by a year, before you suddenly dropped off his horizons one day out of nowhere, he was head over heels smitten with you. He was not the only one, if the way you surround yourself with others that gave a sickly sweet grin as they came up to you was any sign, but he liked to believe that he was the only one that really caught your eye. How could you not? If anything, it sufficiently flattered you that someone like Todoroki Shouto would eye you like a dumbfounded puppy when you came down to his year. You made sure to be extra nice to him too, smiling widely and laughing louder than you did for anyone else when he replied to each of your teasing questions with a degree of seriousness that you could not help but found yourself cooing at. 

(You never liked him the way he hoped you had, not that he would know or you would ever hint at it. It was just fun for you to have his attention and you would be the first one to say that you could not be blamed. Anyone else would have said the same thing had they been in your place.) 

By the spring he was about to move into your second year, you were gone. He had tried to ask around about your whereabouts but no one could give an answer. There were rumours, but all of them were so drastically different that it was near impossible to narrow down the possibilities. And so his innocent, bittersweet school crush was shattered into dust without even a proper heartbreak or revelation.

Now imagine how he felt when he saw his dead crush appearing in front of him years after he last saw them, now as his new stepsister that he never asked for.

You seemed to have latched onto him at first, striking up a conversation with him when everyone else made it clear that you were not welcomed. He felt an overbearing weight in his chest every time you flashed him a wide smile that was so nostalgic but also felt oddly different, like it was you had the same shell as before but the contents in it were missing. He told himself again and again that he had been over you for years now, but the pounding in his chest whenever you laughed around him was a brutal reminder that this could be the chance for him to finally get his hands on what was never his.

The thoughts that clouded his head when he thought of how you were just a room away from him at night was terrifying, and he wasn’t sure what to do with the realisation that there was something as ugly as that stirring deep in his mind. So he took the complete opposite approach to what his yearning was whispering at the back of his head and stayed away from you as far as possible, even when the center of his palms felt like they were about to start seeping blood at how deep his nails dug in at the sight of his brothers getting friendlier and friendlier with you.

Then one day, at the unholy hour when he had to lower each step he took striding back to his room after a late patrol, he heard a soft noise coming from the back of your door that could not be anything other than a moan.

He froze, his eyes widening as he questioned his own hearing when the same sweet sound rang again. It was subtle and he would not have caught on unless he was expecting it, but it sounded almost mocking in his ear as his leg moved on their own until his ear was pressing right at the wooden board that blocked him from seeing what you were doing inside that drew those tempting notes out of your lips. 

This was wrong, he swallowed the bitterness in his mouth as the stir in his stomach sunk in, very wrong, but he could not stop himself from wondering how good you must be looking at that moment with your legs parted and fingers pumping in your cunt, your back arching as you tried to bury your face in your pillow as you imagined that it was someone else touching you.

The wire in his head snapped into half when he heard a voice so familiar but yet so strange that mixed into the incoherent string of lewd noises.

“Stay quiet, or do you want people to hear how much of a whore you are?”

His head went blank, and then he turned almost robotically stiff towards his own room when he finally connected the dots of what was going on.

He did not look any bit suspicious when you greeted him the next morning, but he swore he was seeing white when he spotted the way Touya’s hand lingered at your forearm just too long for it to be friendly when he was asking you to pass him the milk.

It got incredibly hard for him to ignore everything that was going on once he found out what happened every night when the house was supposed to be asleep. It was Touya most of the time, but occasionally he would hear the muffled voice of his other brother seeping into his ears through the thin walls too. He should not have listened, especially with how clearly he knew the burn in his chest was a result of anger. How could they just fuck around with you like this when he was there, suffering because you were so close but he could not reach out? 

Yet when his hand ghosted over the bulge in his pants as he listened to the broken cries of someone else’s name from the back of your throat, it was jealousy that made him tug at his length almost violently as the squelching and panting died down until there was nothing left but the stickiness lacing his fingers as an evidence of what happened.

He listened with intent, wondering if you would eventually come onto him too. He heard the way you call his brothers’ “nii san” and found it harder and harder for him to even look at you straight without imagining the way you would look coming undone underneath him when he heard the same words dripping off your tongue in a seemingly innocent manner in the day. 

But you never did, and he was starting to lose patience from waiting.

Why his brothers but not him when he was the one that had wanted you for so long? What was it that his nee san never wanted to fall into his bed when you so gladly let other men crash into yours?

You did not hear the door creaked open as you laid with your stomach on the bed, your legs arching from the knees onwards as you lounge around with a book in hand. You jumped with a gasp when you saw Shoto standing at the side of your bed, putting your book down carefully with the page you stopped at facing down as you looked up.

“Why are you here, Shouto kun?”

You called him “Shouto kun” when it was “nii chan” for Touya and Natsuo. 

He furrowed his eyebrows at how clueless you looked as you stared at him. Your chest were pushed together against the mattress as you rolled to your side, the exposed skin of your legs ticking him off as a reminder of how different you sounded from when he eavesdropped at your little rendezvous every night.

He took your by surprise when he leaped onto the bed, his knees causing a dent at each side of your body when you could not react except allowing your mouth to fall apart at his sudden and strange behaviour.

“Shouto! What are you- mhp-”

You were taken back by the force at which he crashed down on you. You could not process what was going on until the feeling of his burning lips kissing and nibbling at your own settle in as a numbing pain, his tongue forcing it’s way past your teeth as he trapped you underneath his frame.

You took a hasty breath when he pulled away, his eyes staring you down like he was waiting for a reaction as you looked at him with wide eyes.

“Do you not like it when I kiss you, nee san?”

All the words got caught at the back of your throat when his voice rang in your ear, almost eerily calm considering how his teeth were just clashing against yours moments ago. You did not put as much thought into buying your way into Shouto’s side as much as you did the rest of the family, knowing that no matter how small, there had got to be a certain place for you in his heart from the melancholy of an old crush somewhere. 

“Even though you like it when it was Touya nii and Natsu nii touching you?”

But now he was on top of you, his eyes quirking up as his hand gripped onto the sheets at the side of your head, his lips almost like he was pouting as he trapped you there.

Nee san...

Right, how foolish of you to forget. 

He was your brother too.

“Come here,” he leaned into your touch almost immediately when you reached out for him. His breath was shaky as you sat up, your lips ghosting against his before you whispered all while looking into his eyes. “let nee san show you how to do it...”

He did not react at first when you kissed him, your fingers threading into where the white met the red at the back of his head as you deepened the kiss. The little whimper he made when you moved his hand onto the side of your waist did something to you, and suddenly you wondered why you waited so long before doing this. 

You chuckled into his mouth when he clumsily held onto your jaw, his tongue swiping at your bottom lip before slipping past. You made sure to moan almost a bit exaggeratedly when you felt his hand running up your abdomen and stopping at your tits, pressing down encouragingly when he fondled with the soft mound. 

He got bolder and bolder as you replied to each miniature, the years of longing erupting in him as he gripped onto your thigh and hooked it at the side of his hip. You yelped at the sudden shake of your vision when he flipped you so that you were straddling his lap. You whimpered when you felt the hardness that was poking against you, his hand now sliding underneath your shirt to toy with your perked nipples as your hand planted firmly on hid toned stomach.

“I’ve wanted to touch you for so long...”

His breath was feverish on your skin when he peeled your shirt off, his lips latching onto your chest almost immediately once you were bare as his fingers dug deeper into your skin like he wanted to leave a bruise. You moaned when he flicked his tongue against the hard bud, licking and nibbling as he stared at your face while holding onto your ribcage. 

“Wanted to kiss you for so long...”

You mewled when he bit down a little too hard on your collarbone, his tongue swiping across the dents of the mark as his hand continued to knead your soft flesh. 

“Now you’re finally here- with me...”

A roll of his hips had his hard one pressing against your thinly covered pussy, the friction and the heat that was burning against you making you bit down on your lips to stop the moan from slipping past your lips. He gave a dissatisfied pinch to your breast when he saw the action, humming in content when the sudden shock of pain made you hiss.

“No, no, don’t hold it in,” his two toned eyes sent a chilling shiver down your spine as he glared at you in warning, one hand finding grip on the base of your thigh while the other slid into the band of your shorts before pulling it down the curve of your ass, “I want to hear every sound you makes while you get fuck by your little brother...”

His skin heated up when your face contorted together in pleasure when his hands gripped onto the cheeks of your ass and parted them roughly, the flesh jiggling when he released it from his hold with a pull. 

“Hm!” you whimpered when he felt his palm rubbing at your folds, the tip of his fingers pressing down on your clit before he dragged each digit up along your slit to gather the wetness that was starting to form from his stimulation. Your lips fell apart when he slipped the first finger in, then added another, and the third. He watched in amazement at each pull of the muscle of your face as he stretched you out around his slender fingers, feeling your cunt sucking him in as he slowly pumped them in and out of your hole.

It was almost unreal, the person that had lingered in his dreams for years on end now naked in his lap and moaning because of his fingers scissoring inside of her. His cock felt painful straining against his pants when you rolled your hips back, impatient for how he moved agonisingly slow inside of you in order to draw out each reaction you gave him. His chest swelled at the sight of you slamming yourself down on his fingers as you laid on his body, your hands gripping at the cotton of his shirt all while arching your ass up so he could rub every inch of your walls.

“You look so pretty fucking yourself on my fingers, nee san...” Shouto whispered against your lips, his free hand bringing you close to him to kiss your quivering lips as he crocked his fingers inside of you and ripping a sharp mewl from the back of your throat.

“Sho- Shoto-” the syllables of his name chocked out of your tongue that felt heavy in your mouth, your knees that prop you up on his lap feeling weak as you alternated the speed at which you threw yourself back at him to chase the tightening of your core.

The drop yanked you back by the seams when you were greeted with a sudden emptiness as you were close to snapping, a squeak spilled out from the back of your throat when you clenched around nothing. Your instinct was to press your legs together to stop the running arousal from dripping down your thighs from the flex of your walls but Shouto held you still with his hands, the wetness that was coating his fingers smearing over your skin as he brushed against your thighs before bringing them to his face.

Your face was burning when he moved his digits apart, showing you the string of your essence that was sticking to his skin before he brought it to his lips. Your stomach flipped when he darted his tongue out, licking his fingers clean like a kitten as he groaned.

“You taste so sweet...” he pulled you close to him like he wanted to give you a taste of it too, the saltiness of yourself tickling your cavity as his words were muffled by his lips on you, “I would have gotten a taste for myself directly much earlier if I knew this is how you taste, but right now...”

He brought your hand to his bulge, the hardness filling under your palm as you cupped his erection. Your hand wrapped around the base of his girth the moment you pulled it out of the band of his sweats and it pressed against his lower stomach, the vein that climbed up the side pulsing under your touch as you ran your finger along his cock. 

Your breath hitched at the back of your throat when he lifted you up, your cunt hovering above his tip as he muttered against your neck.

“I want to be in you, nee san.”

It took every fiber in your being to stop yourself from screaming out when he let go of you, slamming you down all the way until he was balls deep inside of you. He sighed at how warm you were all wrapped up around him, his arms snaking around your waist as he started bouncing you on his cock.

You scratched down on his chest through his shirt with each hilt of his length in you, your eyes pressing tightly into thin lines as you fought against the shocks that ran down your spine. He bit down on your skin in discontent, glaring at you like he was warning you to keep your focus on him as he railed in you.

It was fear that made your eyes snapped wide open when you heard a click of someone’s tongue from your back.

“Take this as a lesson to lock your door.” 

Shouto’s nails on your skin felt like they could draw blood when he shot up to see the grinning face of his eldest brother, his blood curling when you clamped down around him at a moment of panic. 

“Touya!"

He hated the way your eyes moved away from him onto the man leaning against the door, the name that wasn’t his sounding so breathless as it rolled off your tongue.

Touya had already gotten his fair share of your time, now he wanted to interrupt when it was finally his turn?

“Fuck off,” Shouto sneered but the other Todoroki only let out a dry chuckle at his defensive state as he walked towards where you were. His eyed you up and down, how tense you were as you froze under the intrusion evidential as the muscles of your legs pulled taut against your skin.

“Aw, don’t shut me out so quickly, I’m sure she doesn’t mind,” Touya mused, seeming to be egged on even more when he saw his brother tightening his hold on your hips when he shamelessly gripped himself on the crotch over his sweats. “You’re at it already,” you let out a soundless hiss when he pulled your head back just the way he liked it as he yanked his pants down, eyeing his little brother that was staring daggers at him out of the corner of his eyes as he pulled his cock out, “why not take another one?”

Almost like he was asserting his claim, Shouto snapped you out of your trance with a thrust up into your cunt. The sudden friction made your mouth fell apart as a moan was ripped from the back of your throat but it was quickly muffled into a gag when Touya took the chance to shove his cock in your mouth. He hardened and filled inside of you as he held your head still, pulling you to the side so that you were staring helplessly at the man who was slamming into you as he pushed his cock deep at the back of your throat with each surge of his hips.

This was nowhere near the same time Touya treated your mouth as nothing but another hole to fuck but the hilt of his tip at the back of your cavity still made your eyes tear up immediately as the burn settled into the pit of your stomach. Shouto did not give up easily, determined to make sure that his brother’s cock drilling in your mouth was not enough to divide your attention away from him as he threw you up and down on his length vigorously as the lewd squelches and slapping noises echoed off the walls. 

Touya’s laugh came out like a howl when he felt the vibrations of your moans around his girth, loving the way you had drool leaking from the corner of your lips as he gripped your head with both hands and pivoted in you. He was laughing, but the stare he cast his brother was no less competitive than the younger boy who was clearly not happy about sharing. 

The tension was thick in the air, like they were taking out whatever rivalry that had rooted between them out on you as they treated you like nothing but a toy that they could break if they fight over it hard enough. You had never seen Shouto this visibly angered before, his handsome face twisted together as the scowl tugging at his lips stayed permanent. Your muffled pants and gags as well as the sound of skin against skin was all that could be heard as the two men bared their teeth at each other, Touya in a menacing grin and Shouto like he was ready to tear the other’s smile off his face.

You felt like you were being pulled apart by the threads, with Touya pulling your hair until your scalp felt numb from the pain and Shouto digging his fingers in your ass a little bit too forcefully. The way Touya forced your face away was enough to get under his skin but Shouto could not look away as tears tainted your cheeks as his brother held you still at the base of his cock, your nose brushing against his pubic hair while your nostrails flared in a desperate attempt to breathe. Each thrust of his hips sent both cocks deeper inside you, the burn pulsing all through your body as your toes curled.

“Hnpm-”

“Go on,” Touya gave a tug at your scalp, pulling at the side of your eyes and forcing you to look right at Shouto, “stare into his eyes while you swallow my cum.”

And you did, the bitter and salty mixture pouring down your throat and almost scorching where it touched as you gulped down his load as he held you still, almost choking on your own spit as you stared at the younger boy from behind your glassy eyes. His pupils were blown out as he fixated on the sight of your throat bobbing and white leaking out of the corner of your lips which were wrapped around his brother’s cock, your jaw almost slack as Touya pulled out and pressed your jugulars tight to make sure you drank everything he had to give you.

You did not dare to move as Touya tucked his limp cock back into his pants, still smiling ear to ear before he turned around but not without throwing down another snarky remark.

“Treat her rougher,” his glance darted towards you for a second before looking back at his brother, “she likes it that way.”

The acidity welled up in your mouth as Shouto stayed put, the lack of even a sound or movement somehow stirring in your stomach until it was all tied up as a knot. Your skin felt clammy with your sweat when he shifted under you, his cock very much so still pressing hard against your gut as he moved and sending sparks all the way to the tip of your toes.

“Open your mouth."

His voice was scary calm as he commanded and you reacted before even processing his words. Shouto gripped onto your jaw, his teeth hurting from how hard he was clenching down as he looked at the trails of white along your chin and the residues of cum on your tongue. 

You shivered when something cold landed in your open mouth, a silver string connected his lips and dripping down your tongue.

“Swallow.”

The last bit of cum mixed together with his spit slid down your throat as you felt small under his gaze. It was like a switch was flipped inside of him when he slammed you on the bed, him now taking full control as he perched on top of you much like when he initially came onto you tonight and thrusting up hard, fast, deep into your cunt.

Your mind was too muddled for you to think straight at the shocks of electricity spiking across your skin when the tip of his cock rubbed along your walls furiously, your pants and moans coming out as slurred strings of incomprehensible noises. He sounded animalistic as his teeth graced past your pulse point at the side of his neck, the muscles in his stomach tensing up both from getting close to his edge and the scene from earlier of you getting face fucked by his brother right in front of his eyes replaying in his head again and again.

“When I’m done,” you could barely make out what he said as you slammed your head back, “my cock will be all you can think of- all you need...”

You whined when his cock sheathed against the spongey spot right below your pelvis, a sharp cramp creeping onto your legs that were already close to giving in at the melting pleasure. 

“I’ll fuck you again and again if that’s what it takes,” he grunted. 

Again and again, until all the traces of other people’s hand tainting your skin was wiped off with his mark instead.

“Starting-” his shoulders shook as his hips surged forward, his cock throbbing in you as he dipped his head down, your legs threw weakly around his waist as you felt the heat from his chest blazing against your skin.

“Now.”

You arched yourself off the mattress at the feeling of his cum filling you up, his body stiff on top of you as he pumped his load in you. He gripped onto your knees almost immediately when you wanted to put your legs down, giving a few more thrust before finally pulling out of you but still not letting go. 

He tried to go a few rounds more that night, but you managed to settle him at your side in your bed with a soft whine and your arms latching onto his waist tightly as you buried your face in his chest.

Shouto was the only person who had fallen asleep next to you of all the ones that had gotten into your bed at night, looking almost angelically serene as he drifted into slumber that you didn’t have the heart to wake him up even though the fear of someone catching him sneaking out at daybreak next morning scared you.

No one did, of course, and even if they do, they all did a very good job not saying a word about it.

-

Todoroki Fuyumi did nothing but furrow her eyebrows and sighed when she saw her own brother slipping out from your room at the crack of dawn, before going back to her normal day-to-day routine like she did not just witness the confirmation that she could no longer pretend she did not sense things stirring under the roof she called home as she did ever since you moved into the house.

If anyone asked, Fuyumi would be very honest with the fact that while less obvious about her dismay, she was about as keen on the prospect of a woman no one had met before marrying into the family and bringing an adult child with her as the rest of her siblings. The family was messed up enough as it was, no need to bring an outsider into the mix to further complicate the matter. There was also the convenient fact that the buffer period between her birth mother’s death and the announcement of the engagement was far too short for anyone’s comfort, and the speculation of an overlaps in the timeline where Enji started seeing his new wife while his now deceased wife was hanging onto the last breath of her life by a thread.

But she hid the urge to scrunch her face up the first time she met her new stepsister and stepmother and smiled, knowing full well that the others would take up the role of pushing you away until eventually you would have to break under their scrutinising gaze.

Fuyumi had always been the one trying to hold the family together, even if it meant turning a blind eye on the cracks that were starting to form.

The first siren call was when Touya came downstairs one morning acting like a completely different person around you then he was the night before. She felt her guts twisting together at how sickly sweet his voice was as he passed by you, his arms draping over your shoulder slightly before he slumped down on his own seat. Touya was supposed to be the one that was the least likely to wield out of the four, god knows how much of a tantrum he threw when he learnt of the engagement. Something must have happened over night for him to go from sneering at you to cooing at you in the matter of hours, and what the something might be was not a pleasant thing to guess around on.

Still, Fuyumi didn’t confront her brother on his strange antics. Even after she became rather certain on how accurate her guess was regarding your relationship as the bruises on your thigh and offhanded teases got more and more blatant each day. Touya had always been one to play around, she had sent many pretty young things off in the mornings when she came to the living room to find them sitting there with their clothes very wrinkled and legs very much so wobbling with each step. 

He was probably doing it as a protest like most other things he had done and it would take no time for him to get bored of you. 

But one morning turned into a week, and Todoroki Touya only seemed to grow closer and closer to you as each day passed.

Natsuo was much worse when it came to playing things off compared to his older brother and Fuyumi noticed almost immediately when he started getting involved with you too. It should not have come as a surprised, it certainly was not to her. Sentimentally, the two older Todoroki boys were often similar but expressing it in different ways. Fuyumi was aware of how a yearning for being needed was in place of his head where the desire for chaos was cemented in Touya’s. 

It took her a while to see how tightly you had Natsuo wrapped around your fingers, how he very much so ignored the way you amped up your helplessness and dependence when he was around that seemed almost painfully blatant to her. But it didn’t unsettle her as much as it did when the dynamic between you and the siblings switched the first time. If anything, this was the more logical progression. Natsuo had always been the more passive one with his attitude towards you, and him shifting stances would not do much to the scene.

It got harder and harder to bite on her tongue and stay quiet ever since she caught Shouto walking out of your room. She was the most concerned about the youngest Todoroki and his almost dangerous affection towards you. She had connected the dots herself after some baiting fished out that you two were already acquainted before the untimely marriage. She saw the way Shouto watched you with so much fever in his eyes when the other two even inched close to you, the unhidden teeth marks on your arms and legs almost too deliberate for her to not think too much about it. It was the self-righteousness of finally getting something that was lost, and Fuyumi found this one particular budding flame to burn hotter and more destructive than the rest.

You were playing a very dangerous game here, and she was the only one that was left out of it until right now.

Right now, it was a heavy silence in the room at the far end of the house where no one would go to. Fuyumi was sitting right opposite you, both of your postures looking extremely formal with your feet tucked under your legs, hands planed flat on both thighs as you waited for her to say something.

You had a dreadful feeling you knew what this was about when she asked you to go with her for something important with a face so expressionless it scared you.

She had not said a word after she motioned you to sit down on the tatami, looking blankly at the empty floor in front of you like she was deep in thought. All you could hear was the pounding in your eardrum and the steady breaths the left your own nostrils, your hands wanting to claw at the fabric of your shorts to ease the shaking nerves but your head fighting it back with an unwillingness to look like you did not have the upper hand.

You did not, and you were genuinely horrid by the direct confrontation that you did not have to go through with the rest of the family.

“I know you’re sleeping with my brothers.”

Her voice came out like the notes of a lullaby, ghosting in the air but knocking you right in the lungs. She said it like it was nothing but a trivial fact, not a question but a statement that she knew you could not deny.

Fuyumi looked right at you now, like she could see right through your soul and all the gears running in your head as they spun like mad while thoughts trampled your head. Her eyes were clear, so clear behind the frame of her glasses and at the moment you knew she did not leave room for you to lie or try to get your way out of it.

"I am,” you replied. 

It felt almost cathartic to say out loud. There was no need for you to pretend or lie or appease towards someone who already had your game figured out, and there was something about being on the same page that anchored you on your footing.

“Why?”

Yes, why?

“I need to find my place in this house,” you answered, feeling your mind go blank as you reached to the pit of your core and dragged out the words you were searching for, “and they wanted me.”

They wanted you.

You gave them what they wanted in exchange for what you needed, the simple equation that formed the beauty, the complexity and the rotting of human desires.

Your breathing shifted to go with her rhythm without even knowing as she sighed, long and shaky as she dropped her head.

She went into this with the determination that one way or another, she would get you to stop with whatever you were doing with her brothers so things would go back to normal once and for all without lingering glances and hints that weren’t so subtle and glares at the dining table, but now she wasn’t so determined anymore. Fuyumi now realised that things had never been normal, the cracks gad always been here and you simply found a way to slip through.

They wanted you, but what did she want? 

Todoroki Fuyumi was the one who desperately tried to hold the family together through the years when her siblings were deep in resentment and her father obsessed with making a legacy out of what was left, even if it took filling up the growing cracks bit by bit until she didn’t even know who she was doing it for anymore. 

If the cracks had managed to close because they all wanted the same thing, then so be it.

You did not flinch away when Fuyumi leaned forward, her lips stilled on yours as she held herself up with her palms on the floor. Her lips were cold, like the first rain drop that fell into the calm ocean before the surface started to ripple into many, many silver rings, until it melted into the heat on your skin and seeped right under.

You felt a tingle unlike any you had experienced when you snapped out of your shock and kissed her back, subtle closing and opening of lips turned into gentle nibbling as you gravitated towards her body. Her skin was so soft, and the way she held onto your jaw with the tips of her finger as she made you parted your mouth wider was almost tender in a way. 

You couldn’t stop the whimper from slipping out when she sucked on your tongue, hand placed at the base of your spine to press your body closer to hers. Her chest squished against yours and you whined when she shoved her knee between your legs. Her palm smoothed over your curves and down to the swell of your hips as she cradled your face, gripping on the doughy flesh encouragingly as she guided you to hump against her thigh. 

Her breath was shaky when she pulled away, the one drum in her heart particularly loud when her eyes landed on your misted stare behind hooded lids.

So this was why they were all so crazy about you.

One tilt of her head was enough of a sign as you latched onto her, your lips trailing along her exposed neck and down to the collar of her shirt. She sighed when you rolled it up from the hem, your hands cupping her tits before placing open kisses on the delicate skin. The way her skin flushed under your touch was an intoxicating sight and you found yourself wanting more as you pushed the cup of her bra down to wrap your lips around her nipple. It was the moan she made when you sucked on the bud that set you off, the way it hardened in your mouth as you swirled your tongue around it had you bucking your hips against her legs uncontrollably. 

The saltiness that lingered on her skin provoked your senses as you trailed down, making sure to kiss every soft curve and dent of her body before settling at the waistband of her pants. Her legs were tight around your head when you pulled it down, the muscles of her thighs flexing when your mouth hovered right above her sex. She laid back to allow you better access and you could see her breasts heaving with each heavy exhale above you as she leaned against the tatami. You tested the waters with a kitten lick along her folds, getting a little bolder when her legs clenched around your shoulders and she let her head fell back with a hum. Her cunt clenched around nothing when you pulled away, the silver string of your saliva connecting her folds and your lips was sinful as you took in the clear essence that was starting to form. 

She mewled when you dipped back down, your hand kneading her soft thighs as your tongue parted her folds and savoured the taste of her arousal. Your finger brushed past her pubic hair as you pulled back the hood of her clit, the shudder of her legs hitting you in full force when you flicked your tongue against the engorged bud. Fuyumi brought her hand to the back of your head, her fingers lacing into your hair to shove your face closer against her pussy as she rolled her hips, pressing herself on your face for more friction.

Her lips fell open when you eased a finger into her tight hole, the velvet walls gushing with wetness sucking your digit in as you pumped it in her cunt. Toes curling under the pleasure when you added in another one while your lips focused on her clit.

“Hm- right there!” she panted when you scissored your fingers in her, stretching her out as you slurped up her juices that were trailing down your wrist and seeping with each flick of your wrist. You could feel her tightening around your fingers and you looked up only to feel a rush of heat down your core when you saw her face. 

Her glasses had fallen half way down the bridge of her nose, the lenses were not enough to hide her blown out pupils that were hazy with lust. A furious flush dusted across her cheek and reached the tip of her ear, plump lips parted as her tits bounced with each heave of her chest. Her throat bobbed when you arched your fingers inside of her, strumming along her clenching walls encouragingly as meek moans rolled off her tongue. 

The musky scent overwhelmed you when you sucked down hard on her clit, her legs kicking mid-air as a lewd moan rippled out from her lungs while you held her still. The pad of your fingers dragging along her insides rang tingles on her scalp as she came on your mouth, the squelch from her wet cunt loud in your ear when you pulled your hand away and earning you a whimper. 

Fuyumi’s vision was still clouded over by the aftershocks of her orgasm but she found herself unable to look away when you darted your tongue out to lick your fingers clean between her legs. The grip on your shoulder as she ushered you up was almost painful before it was replaced by the feeling of her fumbling hands trying to stripe you down, her whining into your mouth at the taste of her arousal on your tongue as she cupped your ass.

Your moan as she pulled you to straddle her thigh was muffled when she pushed your head down against her chest, the soft mounds pillowing you as she dug her fingers into your hips and pressed down. Your cunt throbbed when it rubbed against the smooth skin of her leg, the muscle beneath flexing and coaxing out numbing shivers along your spine. Your hands flew to find hold on her arm as she bounced the leg you were riding, your back arching and pushing you closer to her as your eyes shut tight. 

The coil in the pit of your stomach tightened with each drag of your folds along her thigh, feeling her hot skin under your touch as your hands roamed all over her body. Your breath fanned against her skin, each moan and pant rumbling against her in weak vibrations. She kept one arm around your waist as the other slid down her stomach and stopping at her slit. Every hair on her skin stood up at the sight of your shoulders tensing up, slipping her fingers in as the speed at which you rolled your hips against her flesh increased and setting a feverish pace like she was rushing to tip over.

You tried to follow the rhythm of her fingers jamming in her cunt with the thrust of your hips, your legs almost cramping up as your toes curled and uncurled. She thumped her leg up and down more vigorously as muscles pulled taut under her skin, fighting back the urge to roll her eyes back so she wouldn’t miss the miniatures on your expression as you came undone.

“Are you close?” she let out a hasty chuckle when you nodded rapidly, her hand that was on your torso gripping down encouragingly as she aimed her fingers at the spot that had shocks pulsing through her veins, “then cum on me- cum on nee chan-”

The band in you snapped at the coo, your nails leaving white lines on her skin as you scratched down. Your hips dragged sloppily along her skin as you rode out your high, lying weakly on her shoulder as you looked up at her. Fuyumi threw her head back as her arm tensed, the joint of her wrist popping out as a sharp moan spilled from her mouth. 

All that could be heard in the room was the pants that were under your ear as you leaned on her chest, the steady rise and fall under your cheek luring you into a state of serenity. A mellow heat slowly imploded from your core, spreading through your skin and planting at the back of your head. 

Fuyumi’s arm draped over your frame loosely, her breaths slowly calming down as she drummed a soothing rhythm against your skin, the tempo synching with the pounding under your ear.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

Your eyelids felt heavier and heavier as the warmth seeped in, your shoulders almost weightless for the first time in a while.

So you closed your eyes, and listened to the steady beats of your sister’s heart, until you could hear nothing at all.

-

“Sometimes I feel bad for always leaving you at the house on your own.”

Your mother’s smile was apologetic as she rummaged her bag for her keys as she shoved her feet in her heels. You leaned against the frame of the door, tilting your head as you tap your feet against the ground.

“It’s alright, I have company around,” you said with a hum, “leave it, I’ll lock the door for you.”

Your mother paused, looking up from her bag with an almost sheepish sounding chuckle as you leaned over for the knob. She had been worried about whether you would get alienated by the Todoroki children when she married into the family, but it seemed like her worries were unneeded after all.

Sometimes she would walk in on you with the rest of Enji’s children and laugh to herself at how silly she was for even thinking that you would have an issue blending in.

You were a strong girl, you could always find a way to manage yourself through anything.

Your throat felt dry when your mother suddenly gripped your hands in her palm, the calloused pad of her fingers rubbing against your wrist as she looked at you, looking almost teary eyed as she shook her head with a laugh.

“I’m so glad that you are happy here,” she said, the wrinkles at the corner of her eye crinkling up as she smiled, “I really am.”

The tug at the corner of your lips felt almost stiff as you squeezed her hand, nodding to the way she shook your clasped hands like words could not do her thoughts justice. Her touch lingered, even after you gave her a light chuckle and reminded her that she would be late if she doesn’t head out soon. 

She gave you one last look before stepping out the door, the beaming grin on her face not once faltering before she was gone from your sight.

She did not need to know. You thought to yourself as you turned around, your hand rubbing at where your mother’s emotionally tight grip had left a warm sting on your skin as you headed back upstairs.

Your family was waiting for you, after all.

[seijorhi]

Hi, I saw ur post about requests closing soon so I figured I’d give ya another, but it’s okay if ya don’t get to it anytime soon since you have so many!! Can I request Yandere Suga and Daichi with a fem! darling who’s oblivious to them, and they both maintain the image of friends in front of others but they’re actually fighting each other for your love, but then you start dating someone else and they both team up? I 💕 your writing so much, I’m excited to see what you do 😌

Yes of course bby! Hope you like it 💕

Daichi Sawamura x female reader, Sugawara Koushi x female reader

TW implied non-con, slight nsfw, manipulation, abuse of power (kinda), minor violence, mentions of grief

Tug O’ War

You meet Daichi first, on the outskirts of Miyagi thanks to a blown tyre and a dead phone battery. It’s just after nine pm and you’re ready to resign yourself to abandoning your car and hiking the rest of the way when the police cruiser pulls up, and sitting behind the wheel is Officer Daichi. 

Sawamura, he tells you on the drive into town.

“So I take it you’re not from around here?” he asks, glancing at you out of the corner of his eye.

There’s a small smile adorning his face, but you know he’s just being polite, trying to break the somewhat awkward silence between the two of you. Truth be told you don’t mind the quiet. With his radio playing quietly in the background, you’re still trying to sort through your thoughts, prepare yourself for what’s waiting for you when you arrive. 

But that’s not his problem, and you don’t want to be rude, so you shake your head with a faint smile of your own. “I am actually… or I was, I guess. I moved away after high school.”

A lone eyebrow quirks, “Oh yeah? So what brings you back to Miyagi then? Family?”

Fingers twist in your lap.

“… Something like that.” 

Maybe it’s because of the nerves eating away at your stomach, or maybe it’s just been a while since you’ve been back, but the drive to your sister’s house feels like it takes longer than it should. Daichi makes easy conversation the whole drive, and by the time you pull up out front of your old childhood home you find yourself glad of the temporary reprieve. 

“Thank you. For the lift, I mean,” you tell him, standing awkwardly off to the side as he lifts your suitcase out of the trunk and passes it over to you. “I would have been up for one hell of a walk if you hadn’t come along.” 

He grins down at you, laughing not unkindly, “It is kind of my job, but you’re welcome. I could hardly leave you stranded, now could I?”

You open your mouth to reply, but before you can speak a word the front door of the house is thrown open and a tiny figure barrels out onto the front lawn. You have a split second to brace yourself before impact, tiny arms wrapping around your middle, “Auntie!!!” 

A bewildered Daichi watches as you smile (genuinely, perhaps for the first time that night), ruffling the boy’s hair. “Hey buddy, how’s my favourite little man?” 

Glancing up, you spy your sister standing in the open doorway and your smile fades a touch. Your nephew’s already excitedly chattering, blissfully oblivious to the situation - a minor miracle in and of itself - as he eagerly tugs you back up towards the house. 

It’s only when you’re halfway up the driveway that you remember Daichi.

A glance back over your shoulder confirms your suspicion - he’s still standing there, watching the odd display with a slightly confused expression, though to his credit he manages to quickly school his features back into something a touch more befitting an officer of the law when he realises he’s been caught.

“Thank you again, really. I appreciate it. You’re kinda my hero tonight.”

He nods, and it might be a trick of the dim light, but you swear you see his cheeks flush pink, “Anytime.”

Just as he promised, your car is picked up by a local towing company the very next morning before you’re even out of bed. The tyre is replaced without too much fuss, but when you go to pay, the mechanic simply shakes his head and tells you it’s all been taken care of.

You make a mental note to swing by the station and thank Daichi (again) in person.

***

It’s only fitting, you suppose, that you meet Suga a few days later. 

Thursday’s your sister works late, which leaves you to pick your nephew up from school. You’re thankful that they’re already aware of the situation, nobody questions why a veritable stranger is passing through the gates - at least, not after your nephew perks up at the sight of you, shouting your name as he hastily tries to shove his arms through his backpack. In his excitement he almost trips - would have tripped - if not for the silver haired man who catches him before he can stumble, setting him right with a shake of his head.

“Please slow down, Daisuke. You’ll hurt yourself,” he chastises gently. 

Your nephew pouts, and you can’t help but chuckle a little as he ducks his head in shame as you approach. “Hey bud, did you have a good day?”

Hazel eyes regard you curiously as your nephew clings to your legs, nodding before burying his face into your side. 

“You must be Y/N,” the man - Daisuke’s teacher you can only assume - says as he straightens up. 

Considering your nephew had all but screamed it across the courtyard, there’s not really a need to confirm it, but you nod anyway, accepting his hand when he offers it. 

He’s tall and handsome - though maybe handsome’s the wrong word. Pretty, maybe - his features are soft and delicate, with long eyelashes and eyes you could quite easily lose yourself in, truth be told.

“His mother told us you’d be coming by every now and then to pick him up. It’s nice to finally meet you, I’m Sugawara, Daisuke’s teacher.” He pauses, biting his lip for a moment before exhaling quietly. “I’m sorry, by the way, about…”

You’re quick to wave him off, ignoring the painful tug in your chest, “Please, it’s- I-I’m not… It’s fine.” 

It’s very much not. 

Even as you say the words your hand finds its way to Daisuke’s hair, stroking it gently as his grip tightens. You’ve never been good at dealing with grief, your own or anybody else’s, but you can’t stand the platitudes - even those with the best of intentions. 

Sugawara frowns faintly but he doesn’t push you and desperate to change the subject you force a smile on your face, “So, you’re the famous Suga I’ve heard so much about! He absolutely adores you, you know? You’re almost all he talks about at home.”

He laughs, and just like that you feel the tension in the air dissipate. “Oh, is that so? I guess I could say the same about you. I’ve heard nothing but ‘auntie Y/N’ all week.”

Your cheeks heat, and you gaze fondly down at the boy still clinging to your side. “He’s a good kid.”

Daisuke chooses that moment to pipe up, launching into a detailed recount of his day, much to your and Suga’s mutual amusement. 

And neither you nor Daisuke notice that while you’re engrossed in his retelling, Sugawara’s pretty hazel eyes are focused on you, a soft smile playing across his lips. 

Thursday afternoon pick ups quickly morph into Tuesday, Thursday and Friday afternoon pick ups as well as Monday morning drop offs, and you don’t mind one bit. For one, you know that your sister appreciates it more than she lets on and you would do anything to make this even the slightest bit easier for her, and it gives you a bit more time to spend with Daisuke, which you’ve missed more than you care to admit. 

Also because whenever you do stop by to pick him up, Suga - Koushi, as he keeps insisting you call him - makes it his personal mission to strike up a conversation, whether he’s out there supervising the kids or not.

He’s friendly and warm and has a surprising habit of making you laugh at the most unexpected things, and you can’t help but find yourself being reeled in by the silver haired man. It doesn’t hurt that Daisuke thinks he hangs the moon in the sky, but there’s just something about Suga that’s… easy.

He doesn’t push. Doesn’t poke or pry. You still have a few friends in Miyagi, but the conversations inevitably end up circling back to what happened and how you’re holding up. You don’t blame them, you know they’re only worried about you, but it’s exhausting. Suga’s a breath of fresh air, and you hadn’t realised how desperate you were for a friend who didn’t know all the grizzly details.

Though being Daisuke’s teacher, he undoubtedly does.

But Suga seems content to pretend, until the day you arrive sniffling, eyes rimmed in red and unable to muster your usual smile.

That’s when the facade breaks, and he takes you back inside the classroom away from all the prying eyes of the other parents and lets you fall apart on his shoulder. You should be mortified, but you suppose that Suga’s probably uniquely equipped at dealing with emotional outbursts, considering he spends his days surrounded by six year olds.

“He was like my big brother,” you whisper after a while, your voice shattered and raw. “I miss him so much.”

He doesn’t say a word but his grip tightens and he hums quietly, and that’s enough.

***

A week after you get settled, you swing by the local police station with two coffees in hand and timidly ask the uniformed officer sitting at the front desk if Daichi’s around. The man looks at you, looks at the two drinks in your hands and grins a little too widely. 

“Good ol’ Daichi, eh?” he winks, “Yeah, he won’t be back for a while. Can I help you with anything, ma’am?”

Your cheeks burn. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise considering he’s a police officer and all, but it does and you feel like an absolute idiot. Of course you should have checked before coming, but even if you’d had the foresight to do that, it wasn’t like you had his number.

Thankfully the other officer takes pity on you after you explain why you’re actually there, promising to let Daichi know you stopped by, diligently taking down your number to pass along as well. 

True to his word, it’s hours later - well into the afternoon - when your phone lights up with a notification. Several, in fact.

Hey Y/N.

It’s Daichi.

Sawamura.

Srgt. Mokoto said you came to see me today?

Is everything okay??

The corner of your lips quirked up, and you get the sense that Mokoto had likely neglected to tell Daichi the real reason you’d dropped in, probably to make him sweat. 

Hey :)

Yeah everything’s fine.

I brought you coffee as a thank you for the other day! Which I maaay have drank myself when you weren’t there…

But let me make it up to you! I can drop by the station if you’re around on wednesday at all?

The reply comes quickly. 

Absolutely. 10:30 work?

You shoot back a quick reply confirming and toss your phone on the couch with a sigh. 

It buzzes again a moment later, but the text message waiting for you isn’t from Daichi.

So a little birdie tells me you’re back in town. 

***

“You know, you really didn’t have to bring me coffee. I meant what I said, it’s part of my job. My boss would have had my ass if I’d just left you stranded there like that.”

You glance over at him with a wry smile. “Yeah? And paying for my new tyre and the towing, is that part of your job too?”

Daichi’s cheeks flush pink and he almost chokes on his sip of coffee. “Ah.”

‘Ah’ indeed. “So considering I doubt you’re going to let me pay you back-”

He lifts a hand to stop you, shaking his head adamantly, “Not a chance. I know the guy who runs the garage, he owes me a favour. It was nothing, really-”

“Then coffee is the least I can do,” you say with an easy shrug. “But I know you’re busy, and I don’t want to keep you too long-”

Daichi’s hand - warm and rough - reaches out to close around your wrist, stopping you before you can stand.

“Stay,” he says, dark eyes glimmering.

***

You’ve forgotten, having spent the last few years living in the heart of Tokyo, just how small a town this really is. 

You’re standing out by the school gates watching Daisuke run around with his friends when Suga decides to broach the subject. 

“What are you doing tomorrow night?”

“Hmm?” You glance up to find him watching you with that same fond if not mildly exasperated expression on his face. It’s not his fault, not really - you’ve just been a little out of it the past few days. 

Thankfully, Suga doesn’t hold it against you, chuckling. “Tomorrow night - are you free?” he repeats.

Your eyes widen a little, cheeks warming. “Um… well I kinda have a… thing earlier, but I should be free by then. Why?”

A silver eyebrow lifts. “A thing?” he prods.

“Just a thing. Why are you being so nosy all of a sudden?”

Suga laughs again, “Well if you’re not still tied up with your thing, I’m having some friends over for drinks for my birthday. You should come.”

Which is how you find yourself standing nervously out the front of Suga’s apartment, a bottle of wine in hand. 

When you knock, however, the person who opens the door is not the one you’re expecting. Tall, broad shouldered and handsome, out of uniform for the first time since you’d met him-

“D-Daichi?”

The brunette stares, eyes wide, mouth slightly agape.

“I, uh… I’m- is Suga… Is Sugawara here?” you manage to stutter out, fighting the urge to fidget under his gaze.

His brows furrow, an odd look passing over his eyes, and for one awful moment you think you’ve somehow managed to screw up the address. But before you can embarrass yourself further, a familiar head of silver hair appears behind his shoulder, slapping him on the back.

Relief washes over you. “Suga! Happy birthday!” 

Pushing a still somewhat bewildered Daichi out of the way, Suga’s quick to wrap you up in a warm embrace - which takes you by surprise - with a grin. “I’m glad you’re here.”

Your eyes flicker back to Daichi for a split second, and Suga’s follow. He’s more observant than most give him credit for, but even the most oblivious would have a hard time not noticing the blank expression on the brunette’s face - or the way he was still staring at you. “You two… know each other?” he asks, ignoring the teasing and impatient shouts coming from inside the apartment.

Finally, Daichi snaps out of his stupor. “Yeah. We met the night she moved back into town.”

“Which is a polite way of saying that my car basically imploded and he saved me from having to hike all the way back to my sister’s,” you correct, and Daichi huffs in amusement, though he doesn’t disagree. “Suga teaches my nephew,” you tell him, answering the unspoken question written across his face. “I didn’t realise the two of you were friends, though!”

The two share a glance over your shoulder.

“Yep.”

“Small world, I guess.”

You laugh, passing Suga the bottle of wine, allowing Daichi to lead you inside with an innocent hand on your lower back.

There’s a decent few people squashed into Suga’s modest apartment, but somehow you manage to find yourself sitting around his coffee table, Daichi’s arm slung over the back of your seat, Suga sitting opposite you both, discussing - of all things - high school sports.

“Volleyball, huh?”

You can kind of see it. They’re both tall and in great shape - you’re pretty damn certain the muscles Daichi sports aren’t just for show - but it’s more than that. You tilt your head, chewing on your bottom lip. “What school did you say you played for?”

“Karasuno,” Suga says.

It takes a moment for it to click - though you blame that on the drink in your hand that Suga’s dutifully kept topped up - Karasuno… the flightless crows. Ah yes. 

A slow smile creeps across your face. 

“I saw you play once.”

Both men’s eyes widen, “You did?” Suga asks.

“Yep. The guy I was dating at the time, he played too.” You almost laugh when you glance up to find Daichi frowning at your side, an unexpected tightness in Suga’s usually easy going smile, “It’s okay,” you reassure them, ignoring the traitorous flutter in your stomach, “you guys won. It damn near broke his poor heart.” Not that he’d ever admitted as much out loud.

There’s a short silence, then-

“What team?” 

You do laugh at that, “Don’t you think you guys are a little past high school rivalries?”

The ex-captain and setter meet each other’s eyes. Neither speak a word, but something utterly indecipherable passes between them, and when Daichi finally breaks it to glance back at you, there’s a sharp grin plastered across his face.

“Nope.”

You shake your head, feeling like you’ve missed something. 

***

Hours later, fresh from a steamy shower, you stumble into bed and grab your phone from the nightstand. Sure enough, two unread messages are waiting for you.

You looked so damned pretty today. 

Are you gonna let me take you out to dinner now or am I gonna have to get on my hands and knees and beg?

You smile into your pillow, quickly typing out a reply.

I don’t know, you used to be pretty good on your knees.

Your phone lights up a moment later, a familiar ringtone playing out.

***

Life gets busy after that. 

Suga mentions that Daisuke is struggling in class, so you decide to join some of the other parents and volunteer as a ‘class helper’ one afternoon a week. Dai beams whenever you show up, and Suga seems eternally grateful for the extra set of hands - even if it’s just for craft time. 

And just when you think you’ve managed to patch one hole, another appears. Miyagi might be a far cry from the hustle and bustle of Tokyo, it’s not immune to the low life creeps that used to hang around your old apartment block in the city - you’re mugged walking back from the store, a bag of groceries for dinner in arm. The guy only hits you once, a blow to the cheek that sends you sprawling to the ground, grabs your bag - the one with your phone and wallet - and runs. 

Your sister almost bursts into tears when she sees the cut on your lip, and it’s guilt more than anything else that swells through you when she spends the next twenty minutes berating you for not being careful enough.

You know she doesn’t mean it, you know she’s just scared. The promise falls from your lips before you can stop it, but it’s worth it you think, when her face relaxes and she pulls you into a tight hug.

But when you drop by the station the next morning, Daichi takes one look at you, and you watch in perfect slow motion as that warm smile freezes and falls. You expect the police report he makes you file, though you don’t really hold that much hope that they’re going to get your phone or wallet back, but not the words that come out of his mouth next.

“Self defence classes? Daichi, I...” you exhale with a huff, “don’t you think that’s a little excessive?”

The dark look in Daichi’s eyes as they flicker across your face tells you otherwise. “What if they had a knife, or a gun?” 

You would have just thrown your bag and run, you weren’t stupid - your purse wasn’t worth your life, but Daichi doesn’t want to hear a word of it. 

“What if your wallet wasn’t all he wanted?” he presses, and you stiffen at the implication. Gentle hands reach across the table to grab yours, the rough pad of his thumb brushing against the back of your palm, “Just you and me, two hours a week, that’s all I’m asking.”

… What now?

“You’re going to teach me?”

“You got somebody better in mind, sweetheart?” he asks with a cocked eyebrow and a wry grin.

It makes sense, you suppose - what with him being a police officer and all. 

And between your one on one sessions with him, volunteering at the school with Suga, making sure that Daisuke got to school on time, that the house was cleaned, there was food in the pantry and your sister wasn’t falling apart, you were running on fumes.

Yet when you come home exhausted and aching from Daichi’s place and catch sight of him, casually leaning against your doorway with a bag of takeout and that damned smirk you’d fallen head over heels in love with all those years ago, you can’t help but grin.

“Hey, baby. You hungry?”

Thank goodness for small mercies.

***

They’re more observant than you give them credit for.

Suga notices the way you gingerly stretch to put away the paint supplies one afternoon.

Daichi catches an eyeful of a bruise on your neck as he hovers over you - the makeup you’d used to hide it having rubbed off with the last manoeuvre.

Suga catches you checking your phone more often, smiling softly to yourself.

Where Daichi used to be able to coax you into staying back for a drink, you were quick to finish up and head home, claiming to be tired and hungry. You don’t take him up on his offer for dinner either. 

But the final nail in the coffin came in the form of a drawing.

“Dai, who’s that?” 

Suga’s crouched by his desk, gazing oddly at the picture your nephew had drawn. The task was simple - draw your family. Daisuke had dutifully done just that; him, his mom, you, and-

“Auntie’s new boyfriend.”

Suga’s eyes snap to yours and you curse your heart for skipping a beat. “I didn’t know you were dating anybody.”

***

Daichi’s fingers tap restlessly on the leather of the steering wheel. 

He was supposed to be home twenty minutes ago but when the call came in, he didn’t really have a choice but to answer it. She’d asked specifically for him after all, and even if she hadn’t, the Sergeant would have tossed the case his way regardless.

Mokoto knew how he felt about you.

Spending an hour and a half sitting in your living room while your sister sobbed wasn’t exactly how he’d planned on spending his afternoon, but he supposed it came with the territory. He knows how to do his job properly, though. Listening, asking the right questions, offering sympathy without promising results - it’s nothing he hasn’t had to do before. 

“Please Daichi, she- she’s all we have left, I… I can’t-”

It didn’t mean he wasn’t aching to leave with every second that passed. 

Of course, it wasn’t a complete waste of time. Through her tears, your sister did manage to give up the name of the guy you were fucking. 

A name he certainly recognised from way back in high school. He knows he’s going to enjoy pursuing that particular lead, but as he pulls his car into the driveway and switches the motor off, Daichi shoves the thought aside.

He has other, far more pressing matters to deal with.

His heart thrums like hummingbird’s as he walks up the pathway, nodding politely at his elderly neighbour as he passes. 

The sight that greets him inside his living room makes the wait worthwhile.

You, on your knees, stripped down to your pretty, lace underwear, arms cuffed behind your back and your plush lips wrapped around his best friend’s cock.

With his long fingers carefully carding through your hair, Suga coos at you between breathless moans, praising you for being such a good girl for him with every roll of his hips. You’re shaking, trembling as silvery tears spill down your cheeks and when he drops his wallet, phone and keys on the bench and kicks off his shoes, your wide, pleading eyes turn to greet him.

Daichi’s cock stirs in his pants, a rush of excitement and something much, much darker and more primal flooding his veins. 

Noticing that he no longer has your full attention, Suga’s eyes follow yours. “You’re late,” he says with a lazy smirk.

Loosening his tie, Daichi huffs out a laugh, “And I see you didn’t bother waiting.”

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

it’s a fucking metaphor!

Titans 3.08

i’ve finally gathered the mental and emotional resources to do this thing, so let’s go! as always, i’m typing this up as i see the episode.

SPOILERS AHEAD

1. on watching this opening scene, i was thinking back to how gar was in s1, or even the early bits of s2. the way he idolised the others, particularly dick, and his readiness to go along with whatever they said, and the way he practically bled the need for acceptance. and here he is now, openly defying dick, fully open to and aware of the flaws of the people he loves and admires, knowing he is accepted no matter what and extending that generosity elsewhere. it’s a remarkable bit of character growth that’s... sort of blossomed in the background and so rewarding to see and acknowledge. 

1.25. i guess what i really love about this conflict over how to respond to jason--as clumsily as it is sometimes written--is how their histories and individual traumas inform each character’s reaction. dick is torn between his guilt over what’s become of jason and his drive to do what batman had essentially given up on doing: he is motivated to track down red hood at all costs but there’s a sense that he’s not completely sold on the idea that the only way to stop him is to kill him. (he might go the comics route and try to put him in arkham? god, imagine if the season ended with jason in arkham.) kory’s never had much of a connection with jason in the first place, and jason has done one of the worst things he could do in her book: track and kill a member of her newfound family and is threatening to kill more. 

and gar... sure. look. the idea of jason and red hood as separate entities appeals to him; that red hood emerged when jason was drugged to the gills by scarecrow and lost his usual inhibitions. gar’s struggled with what he becomes when he’s pushed to his limits, too--he did rip open that experimenting scientist with his teeth way back in 1.07, after all, and he was brainwashed by cadmus in s2 into becoming a literal monster. he needs to think, to know, there’s a dichotomy, a line that can only be crossed under extreme duress or by outside influence. 

and he says--and we say--that he was accepted back into the titans in spite of what he’d done, but was he really? gar’s always struggled with his footing in this group; relegated to the caretaker, the tech guy, the gatekeeper, and sometimes punching bag even though everybody’s paying lip service to how much of a family they all are. perhaps gar reaching out to jason and offering acceptance is aspirational on his part: perhaps this is the effort he hoped the titans put/or will put into getting gar back, even when it would seem like he’s too far gone.

1.5. anyway my point is that i don’t think it’s worth discussing this in terms of right/wrong decisions because all of their reactions make a lot of sense given their backgrounds/personalities. gar is doing a fine job here of tracking down jason’s friends and trying to find him that way, but we the audience know that jason is ultimately going to end up an anti-hero/eventually-hero character, so with that knowledge in mind we know that gar’s reaction is the right one. it’s knowledge that the other characters don’t have, so to judge them on it is... uh, unfair.

1.8. also, molly is awesome, yay!

2. dick and barbara flirting over the phone is so cute! i love to see this side of dick: lighter, peppier, willing (even if somewhat reluctantly) to put his mission aside to go out on a date with his girlfriend. and i love how easy this makes his dynamic with kory too: it’s all very domestic and utterly delightful. 

(also, re: the water leak in barbara’s office--you’re saying GCPD could afford fancy-schmancy table-wide touch screen computers and evil-lair lighting but needs its frickin’ commissioner to catch leaking water from above her desk with mugs and fishbowls????)

2.2225. this is probably a teeny tiny thing and i’m not sure i want to bring it up at all BUT. the fact that dick feels compelled to lie to barbara about not liking fancy gala food and eating something more substantial before the date? not a terribly great sign, though i wouldn’t call it a red flag per se. 

“this from a man who forced his students to eat cauliflower crust pizza...”

3. so.... conner and kom are a Thing. huh.

in theory i really like the idea of them bonding over an innate alien-ness and longing for a place they could really belong. both of them are alien twice-over: conner a mix of kryptonian and human, practically generated in a test tube, and kom being somebody that was born different and rejected by her own people, now stuck on a planet dominated by an entirely different species. i even like them exploring this bond physically. i guess it’s the sense of... uneasiness around what we do and don’t know about kom that makes this scene land slightly left of centre to me. i think titans, especially through s2, has cultivated in its audience a sense of distrust even until the final episode, just in case somebody vital to the season is suddenly revealed to have had ulterior motives (i’m even low-key suspicious of leslie). i really want to see this kom-conner dynamic play out but the anticipation of watching the other shoe drop is sucking out the enjoyment.

4. for fuck’s sake dick, gar’s not your gatekeeper.

TIIIIIIIIMMMMM \O/

4.5. i love this nod to tim’s origins in the comics, the way he just comes in and lays out all his evidence and makes it clear to dick that he needs tim’s help as robin. the fact that he was there at the flying graysons’ last performance, he was obsessed with their acrobatic moves, and was observant enough to connect those moves with that of robin and later nightwing... all of this came together to put him where he is right now.

(i also love how he can’t contain his giddy excitement when talking about the day dick grayson’s parents died... to dick grayson. even if dick weren’t nightwing, that would be a deeply uncomfortable thing! yet tim can’t help himself, and i love him for it.)

4.8. it’s a testament to how much dick’s caught off-guard that he can’t come up with a better response to tim’s allegations other than “uh... he stole my moves! as you know, no two gymnasts in the world are allowed to do the same moves. now, let me escort you out while pretending poorly that i’m not at all shaken by this...”

4.9. i’ve talked about this before, but i find the logic around secret identities in this universe utterly fascinating. the titans don’t make much effort in keeping their identities secret: everybody seems to know that kory is starfire for instance, or that gar is beast boy. dick grayson is seen hanging out with kory a lot, especially at crime scenes. it won’t take a lot of sleuthing to find out that the titans are currently camped out at wayne manor, and to put two and two together.

my theory was that superheroes and villains have become such an integral part of daily society that it’s almost not worth it to seek out their secret identities, or that it’s just not a big deal anymore. like politicians or diplomats, not everybody bothers to look into who exactly their local politician is, but the people who know just... know. it’s a sort of unspoken social contract.

tim’s broken this contract by confronting dick about his identity, and dick’s not ready to deal with it. not entirely.

look at him! *pinches his cheeks*

5. ngl, it was quite satisfying to see jason knock the scarecrow out like that. 

5.5. i guess... the question of jason’s culpability is always going to be a thorny one and would make for a great courtroom drama spinoff. there are a number of factors to consider: jason’s personality, the rough circumstances under which he grew up, his undoubtedly stressful transition to being robin, bruce wayne being... well, bruce wayne, never feeling accepted by the titans and having most of them turn on him, being roundly defeated and almost killed by deathstroke, alfred’s death, a fuckload of ptsd, his violent death, crane’s manipulations, coming back to life, crane plying him with a drug. but there is no easy line to draw between any of these factors to his actions. i think it would be a disservice to jason’s character to attribute his actions entirely to these things and rather irresponsible to do so. i think jason has to reckon with the fact that when he took crane’s drug, he wasn’t reckless and chaotic like the thugs he gave it to; the planning that went into hank’s death was meticulous and the way hank died--dawn essentially tricked into pulling the trigger that blew her lover into bits--is so drawn out and cruel. 

5.75. it’s occurring to me that crane might have given jason a placebo. maybe jason’s dependence is psychological, and he’s externalised his fears in such a way that he believes crane’s drugs literally wipe them out, however temporarily.

in any case, the boy needs (more) therapy.

6. “he walked like robin...” fuck, tim

“gait recognition sweep” god, this show. i don’t know whether to laugh or cry. hey, once we’re done doing this gait recognition thingy, can we get a goddamn plumber in the house??? or move the commissioner’s desk so that sewage water isn’t dripping on her head or the million dollar touchscreen desk???????

6.5. oh no dick!!!!!! i am delighted that you got hurt but i feel ashamed about it! that looked like it really hurt!

he’s really not having a good time of it, is he. from being shot by a sniper to slamming at full speed into an suv, he’s got to be really fucking battered by now. and that’s just the physical side of it.

“can you believe that just over a week ago i was sitting in san francisco eating cauliflower crust pizza and feeling good about myself for the first time in five years...”

7. kory’s having visions again! now that she’s figured what they are, do you think the show’s just dropped justin? it’s curious that HPG hasn’t been brought up in a while after featuring relatively heavily in the beginning. hmmm.

8. dick’s in hospital but... he looks remarkably whole for someone who took a spill like that. you’d think he’d at least have a bruise to show for it. on the other hand, i love that the first thing he says is ‘i need to call home’. reminds me of season 1 dick and his clumsy attempts to explain away his found family as an ‘alliance of necessity’ or some bullshit. what a long way he’s come!

*gasp* dick’s hallucinating again!!!!!!!!!!!! i’m doing the dick’s hallucinating dance! can you believe that we’re carrying over these huge honking issues unearthed in season 2 onto season 3? can you believe?!!! all that time and effort i spent talking about dick’s mental health from last season has not gone in vain!!

... ahem. anyway. more on this later.

“hold on barbara, i think kory gave me the number to this therapist that she kept calling Hot Psychiatrist Guy...”

9. just an interlude to say that i’m barely halfway through the episode and i’ve already written 2k+ words... ugh. i’m going to try and be more concise.

10. man i fuckin love it when titans goes all out with its weird mindscapes and i’m extra glad that kory’s the focus this time. is that baby kom or maybe a secret sibling that neither of them knew about? was that lady luand’r? and is this place where kory was circling where the secret sibling is? it’s all very intriguing. 

(if justin turned out to be that sibling... we’ve a real luke/leia situation on our hands.)

11. aw, i knew that nice security guard was going to die, but it still hurt to see him go :(

12. this show is so bizarre. like i get the mindscape as a narrative device, but jason using sex workers to try and vocalise his guilt about killing hank was just weird. like. i have to use tamil, sorry: idhulaan yaaru pa room pottu yosikara??? some things just can’t be translated into a second language.

i guess one way to interpret jason’s reckoning with what he did to the titans as a sign of him coming off crane’s drug, but i think it’s more to do with the disillusionment of realising that he was a mere pawn in a more sinister plan, and not, as he thought, a player in control of his destiny, rising to the purpose of liberating gotham of its fears in a way batman never could. along the way, he’s done some truly irreversible damage. it’s a bitter pill to swallow.

13. another hallucination! it’s really intriguing that it’s a young dick(?), younger than we’ve ever seen him, wearing an early-era robin costume from way before he even became robin. (this is also interesting in that it gives credence to the idea that ‘robin’ is an identity that dick created entirely on his own, and as a possible homage to his family.)

“old road, old house... it’s all gone.” i wonder what it all means.

13.5. it’s entirely likely dick’s hallucinating because of a brain injury from the accident, though just hallucinations without any other focal neurological deficit is unusual. he might’ve been microdosed with fear toxin at some point, though i wonder when... did jason do so after dick’s accident? did he get dosed at the factory from last episode? 

it’s also possible it’s a continuing manifestation of dick’s issues from last season--which, if you remember, he never told anyone about and therefore never properly addressed. maybe he was hallucinating bruce wayne in a psychotic episode accompanying an acute stress reaction and maybe that’s what’s happening now. nobody’s denying that he’s under an extraordinary amount of stress right now. another way to look at it is that this is how he externalises conflict that he can’t bear to suppress anymore; if in s2 halluci!bruce manifested his insecurities and self-loathing, then these hallucinations... something to do with his fears, no doubt.

yet ANOTHER way to look at it might be: rachel is reaching out to him through their, well, psychic bond. after all, they were able to use that bond unconsciously last season to get the titans back together; maybe rachel has learned to gain a degree of control over it in themyscira and is sending across warnings? it’s all very intriguing.

anyway:

“i hear you skipped over the discowing suit in your evolution to nightwing... how could you??”

14. can you imagine, gar did all the work of reaching out to jason via molly and jason wants to meet dick? smh.

14.5. “i’m just a regular guy doing regular things” he says, standing at the opening of a secret old tunnel, like a secret person doing secret things, confronting someone who can now officially be called his stalker. neither of you guys are ‘regular’

14.8. ‘my dad was a cop and he taught me how to investigate’ - hmmm. i guess they’re trying to Explain Tim but i don’t think that’s really necessary. so he’s smart and he’s obsessed with batman and robin--that should be enough, imo. 

15. that scene with scarecrow and his mother was... wow. i’m just laughing here helplessly, because what the hell? for a while i thought it was an extended dream sequence and i’m still not entirely sure that it isn’t...

anyway. i still love that titans is happy to throw out its plot in favour of extended character-exploration sessions.

15.5. it seems to me that this scene with crane and his mother (i have no idea if there’s anything in the comics similar to this) serves to move forward this season’s theme of harmful legacies and how parents can damage their children in the name of their mission. in a way it’s been the underlying message of the entire show but we’re really seeing it being reinforced this season. the titans, serving as a foil to scarecrow, are using the damage to rebuild themselves and actually work through their issues together, instead of spiralling further and further into the morass of their issues.

other than that... god, that scene was painful to watch. i can’t say i like this version of scarecrow or how this actor plays him at all.

16. i wonder what’s jason’s play here. i think he’s smart enough to realise that the titans aren’t going to just forgive him and let him be a titan again after what he did, and that dick agreeing to it is just a bid to pin both him and crane down. maybe it’s a ploy to trap them, get back on scarecrow’s good books so that he can have the drug again. who knows.

17. i absolutely felt dick when he said “we’ll bring him in and then re-assess the situation.” what the fuck else is he going to say? the priority is to get him.

so kory and dick are both hallucinating while potentially trying to rehabilitate their murderous siblings. CONFIDE IN EACH OTHER ALREADY

18. TIM NOOOO! you beautiful, reckless fool!

18.25. just to quickly address it here because i know it’s been brought up before: i think it’s perfectly justified to not have conner take tim to the hospital via superspeed because a) i don’t think we’ve seen conner do that with anybody so far and b) it’s probably not a good idea to submit tim’s body to that kind of stress without knowing what it would do to him. the paramedics with actual equipment and experience would be there in a few minutes, so on a risk assessment, i would say dick and conner absolutely made the right call.

18.5. i guess we won’t know what jason really intended to when the titans came to the pump to see him, but this is definitely going to set a big wedge in his relationship with crane. then again, crane got what he wanted--using starfire’s powers to blast through to the underground pipes--so jason can argue that this is exactly what he was working towards, too. 

anyway, mortal peril, hallucinations, murderous family members, creepy visions and robins sprouting left and right. time to get rachel and donna on the scene, i think.

[marshmallow-phd]

Nine Little Letters

Genre: College AU, Fake Dating AU, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before AU

Inspired By: This graphic made by @rcse-tvler​

Pairing: EXO x Reader

Summary: Just when you thought life was done shoving you down, it got much, much worse. After finding out that your latest crush was already in a relationship, you did what you always did when emotions ran high: you wrote a letter. Signed and sealed, you put it away with the eight other letters you’d written to past one-sided loves, never to be seen again. That is, until a mix up accidentally sends those letters out to their respective recipients and you find yourself in the middle of one confusing web of love. With fake relationships, insecurities, and revelations swirling around, things are bound to get a little messy.

Part: 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5 I 6 I 7 I 8 I 9 I 10 I 11

This was the worst kind of humiliation. Standing there on the sidewalk staring open-mouthed at the one person you were excited to see today, you were crumbling into a million pieces. And no one even noticed. That was what made this humiliation so bad; there was no one to witness it. You were breaking and no one cared.

You should have known better, really. This morning was going too well. You had woken up on time, had a delicious, filling breakfast, and had managed to put an outfit together worthy of any Pinterest board. Your confidence was through the roof and you were going to do the one thing in your life you swore you would never do.

You were going to confess to your crush.

Signing up for math tutoring was the last thing you wanted to do. Who in the world wanted to spend their valuable free time learning more about equations and algorithms? But you needed to pass this class. It was the second time you’d taken college algebra and the thought of taking it a third time made you want to crawl under your bed. So, you buckled down and took the walk of shame into the math lab. (Yes, that was an exaggeration. Everyone knows there is no shame in getting help. Didn’t mean you had to like it.) When you got the call from your assigned tutor, you ignored it. You didn’t like talking on the phone to anyone let alone a number you didn’t recognize. No voicemail was left. Then a text came through.

Hi, (y/n)! This Kim Junmyeon! I’ve been assigned as your math tutor. When you get a chance, let me know when you’re free so we can create a schedule that works for you. Have a great day!

You waited an appropriate amount of time before replying. So, an hour and half later, you texted him your schedule and made a plan to meet up in the library the following Thursday. You marked that day on your calendar with exactly zero enthusiasm. In your head, this Kim Junmyeon was the cliché nerd from movies: dorky glasses, snort-like laugh, and clothes that looked better on a grandfather. Oh, boy were you so happy to be wrong.

Sitting down at one of the tables by the large, ceiling high windows, Junmyeon was nothing like you’d imagined. He had a sophisticated aura about him. He dressed nicely, a thin long-sleeved shirt over a patterned button down, the collar laid nicely over the top of the shirt, and was blessed with sharp, handsome features. You knew you were in trouble. But you didn’t care. You sat down at that table eagerly, ready to… learn.

For the past month and a half, you’d met Junmyeon twice a week to go over the lessons and work on the assignments. By some miracle, your grade was actually going up in the class. Somehow you were able to better comprehend the material and secretly fawn over your tutor simultaneously. At this point, you were sort of feigning how much you weren’t understanding to keep the tutoring sessions going. The nice thing about algebra, once you understood the basics, everything else built on top of it.

But today – today you had decided that you were going to step over the line from tutor and student into the realm of perhaps something more.

You liked Junmyeon. You liked his math puns and the way he scrunched his face when he thought hard about something. His lips would pucker whenever he lifted the sheet of paper to check over your work. Each time you met up with him your heart acted like it was in the middle of a NASCAR race and it was determined to win. You had it bad. This wasn’t the first time you’d had a crush like this, but you had set your mind on making this one different. This time, you wouldn’t hold it inside. You were going to be the brave one, the bold one. The fact that birds were tweeting as you rode your bike onto campus should have been a sign that things would only be downhill from there. Unfortunately, like the optimistic idiot, you took it as a positive instead.

After locking your bike up, you headed straight for the courtyard near the pond. Junmyeon had told you that he often spent his mornings there to finish up homework or to read a book (the fact that he read so much was another factor in your liking of him). In your head, he was all alone, flipping through a novel as he leaned against the trunk of a tree, looking like a prince taking a rest in the shade on a warm summer’s day. The water would be glistening in the background as a lovely, lighthearted melody played softly through the air. He would see you approach and smile that wide, brilliant smile. Your heart would skip as you sat down in the grass next to him and poured out your feelings. The daydream turned into a nightmare the second he came into view.

Junmyeon was not alone nor was he sitting under a tree with a book. He was on one of the benches, splayed out on the wooden beams with his head resting in the lap of a very pretty, more his league type of girl. She laughed as Junmyeon told a story. A delicate hand ran through his soft brown hair. Your heart fell to the ground, forming a crater at your feet.

Shoulders slumped and day ruined, you turned and headed for the student union. If today was going to suck like this, then you were going to sprinkle it with an overly sugary coffee drink. Preferably with extra chocolate drizzle. It helped - a little bit.

Your morning classes went by in a blur. You were certain you took notes, but none of the information sank in. Later you would have to transcribe your quick scribbles to a word document to help you study. You would learn the information then. By lunch, you were starting to peel yourself off the sidewalk of humiliation. Especially when the one person you could always rely on joined you for lunch.

“How did it go?”

You remained silent, continuously munching on the sandwich in your hands as your best friend sat down across from you at the small, two-person table near the middle of the cafeteria.

Baekhyun laughed his signature, SpongeBob-like laugh. “That bad, huh? I told you not to do it.”

“Technically, I didn’t do it,” you corrected. “He already has a girlfriend.”

“Ouch.”

You nodded. How could you not see this before? Did he mention having a girlfriend and you just blocked it out? Junmyeon and you talked casually between math problems, about your friends and fun things you liked to do on the weekends. He’d failed to mention one very important detail.

“Well,” Baekhyun reached over and plucked a potato chip off your plate and plopped it in his mouth, “at least you found out before you said something. I told you he wasn’t worth it.”

“Just because he has a girlfriend doesn’t mean he isn’t worth crushing on.”

“Okay. Whatever you say.”

You rolled your eyes at him. “You’re so much help.”

Ignoring your quip, Baekhyun snatched another chip. You smacked his hand, but all that managed to do was break off a few pieces, the crumbs falling to the table. Smiling proudly, Baekhyun popped the half-chip into his mouth. “So, are you just going to go home and write a letter?”

“Are you just going to go home and write a letter?” you mocked with a scrunched face.

Byun Baekhyun had been your best friend since the two of you had met in the first grade. He’d stolen your popsicle that your mother had packed as a special treat for your first full day of school. When he saw you start to cry, he broke off the piece he’d been sucking on and handed the rest back to you. There was a bit of a disagreement on the level of nice-ness that act achieved since it was your popsicle to begin with, but somehow it caused the two of you to be inseparable ever since. Being your best friend meant that he was privy to the more private parts of your life.

Like the letters.

Starting as young as ten years old, you’d developed a bit of a tradition when it came to your crushes. Emotions were hard to process, but you found them easier to work through if you thought about them and translated them into words. Those words would fly across the paper, transferring the feelings that made you both laugh and cry into the graphite that formed them. Not to mention, the act made you feel like the heroine in a rom-com. Certainly it was something that Meg Ryan or Rachel McAdams would do once they realized how they felt about the male lead.

The first letter you ever wrote was during your final year of ballet class. Dancing had been a part of your life since you were three, but a new passion had been discovered so you’d decided to quit after this last cluster of classes. A terrible decision, really. Because right after your mind was already made up, a new boy had joined the class.

Kim Jongin.

He had just moved into town after his father was promoted to a new position and had to transfer to headquarters. You’d never seen him at the park or the grocery store before. He was completely new. And beautiful.

He was blessed golden skin that glistened, shining brighter the longer he danced. And, oh, the way he danced. It was well beyond what anyone else could do. His movements were fluid, water-like, as if the very beat of the music were pulling and manipulating his limbs to convey what the notes had to say. Each move was a word and when he formed them together, they could make you smile or cry. And when he smiled… oh, his smile was like starlight. The kind of brightness that stayed in the sky even as the city lights flickered on. To this day, you’d never found one that could rival it. He was a dream that every composer coveted. So, what was your young heart to do?

Well, the movies told you to confess. But there was no way you could find the courage to do so, especially since you only saw him in class and you couldn’t confess in front of everyone. The only other option was to write it out; to write it out like Jane Austen pouring her heart out for Tom Lefroy.

 Dear Jongin,

I’m not sure how to start this. Do I compliment you on your dancing? It’s nothing like I’ve seen before. Prima Donnas in the Russian Ballet would be jealous of you! But you probably hear that all the time. And about how handsome you are, even under all that hair. I can’t help but watch when you pull it back for class so you can see yourself in the mirror. Why can’t I look like that? I somehow ended up looking like a frizzy wet cat that just climbed out of the tub.

I guess what I’m trying to avoid saying is that… I like you. A lot. I like your laugh and your wide smile. I like how much you love music and how you interpret the melody with your moves. No one can freestyle like you! My heart does a dance of its own whenever I see you. I hope you don’t have anyone that you like, just so I can stand a chance. Would you ever think of me like that? If not, it’s okay. I just needed to tell you. Someday, you’ll be on stage dancing to an audience of thousands and I’ll be right there in the front row, cheering you on! Until then, I hope you always find happiness in what you love.

Love,

(y/n).

 That sentence about watching him on stage made you cringe in hindsight. Cute for a ten-year-old, but a bit stalkerish. Luckily, though, you never gave it to him. You chickened out every time up until the last class. The idea of him opening it and reading right there in front of you was mortifying. So, then, you decided to mail it. The teacher gave you his address after you told her you wanted to invite him to your birthday party (it should be a little worrisome that a teacher was willing to pass on private information like that… perhaps it was because you were a kid). Three times you went to the mailbox to send the letter out and three times you ran back inside to hide it under your mattress.

That was the beginning of your weird little tradition. Though you never sent the letter to Jongin, you felt better having somewhat confessed your feelings and worked through them without the humiliation of actually… doing it. So, the next time you had a crush so overwhelming that you needed to get the feelings out, you wrote a letter. You even went all the way each time to address the envelope, giving the confession a sense of finality. There was no fear in them ever going out. Baekhyun was the only other one in the world who knew of their existence. At the current moment, eight were hidden in a drawer in your vanity. The way your fingers were itching, a ninth one was on the way.

“I might,” you finally replied.

Baekhyun leaned forward eagerly. “Can I read it when you’re done?”

“No!”

He snapped his fingers as he sat back in his chair. “Darn.”

“Why am I even friends with you?”

“Because I’m charming.”

There was no question in his voice. He one-hundred percent believed it. And… to be honest, he did have his moments. But that was all in the past. “Like a plank of wood.”

Shaking his head, Baekhyun rapped his hands on the table before standing up. “Alright, I’m going to class. Have fun with your pencil and imagination.” For emphasis on his stupid remark, he stole one last chip before walking off.

You finished off your sandwich in a bit of a rage. By the time you were finished, your mouth muscles were aching as if you’d spent several hours at the gym and it was jaw day.

You only had one class left for the afternoon. But it was algebra. How were you supposed to concentrate on functions when your sad attempt at getting into a relationship with your tutor failed so epically? Somehow you managed, though, and you packed up at the end of class with a new sort of determination. As you hopped on your bike and rode home, you thought over what you were going to write. You were so lost in your head that you hadn’t notice the car pulling out of your neighbor’s driveway, nearly hitting you before the driver hit their brakes.

“Shoot!”

You back peddled to break. Your heart thumped in your chest. No life memories flashed before your eyes, but you were sure you almost died. Slowly, you moved forward to get out of the way of the car. 

“I’m sorry!” you yelled over your shoulder.

The driver leaned out the window.

Oh, great.

It was your neighbor. Or, at least, your neighbor’s son. Do Kyungsoo. He stared at you with an expression that could be blank but could also be a glare. It was hard to tell with him. Shaking his head, he pulled back inside the car and drove away.

Fighting off embarrassment for the second time this day - albeit this situation was much lower on the scale and it happened a bit more often than you’d like to admit - you put your bike up in the backyard and headed up to your room. Your mother, a literary history professor, and your father, a doctor at the local hospital, were both at work and wouldn’t be home until well after dinner. You were used to it. Besides, you were an adult and you liked being able to decide to have pizza for dinner and not worry about what other people wanted for toppings. Once you put your order in, you sat down at your vanity and got to work.

 Dear Junmyeon,

Has anyone told you how your hair looks in the sunlight? The dark brown hues seem so warm and inviting, like an ebony chair that was warmed by the unfiltered rays. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to run my finger through it. Would the strands be as soft as they look? Would you wear the same smile on your face that you do during our sessions? But I guess I might not be meant to feel them. Today, I intended to tell you how I felt. I woke up with a determination, a goal to say how much I like you to your face. I was so nervous riding my bike to the university, but it was the good kind of nervous; the kind that makes you keep going. It seemed, however, that I was too late. Or maybe I simply never had a chance at all. I’d missed any signs that said you were already someone else’s.

I hope she knows how lucky she is. I hope she makes you laugh and listens to you when you’re having a bad day. Your laugh is like a symphony. Does she tell you how light and lovely it is? Or how infectious it is? When you laugh, I can’t help but laugh along. It’ll be sad not to hear it anymore. Or have our talks filled with random subject changes. But I think I’ll miss your smile most of all. The way it crinkles your eyes yet still lets them shine. The way it spreads across your face and the way your cheeks grow. It is truly a sight to behold. I hope wherever you go, you are always smiling. You always let your light shine even on the cloudiest of days. That’s what’s so special about you and what made me fall for you. Even when I was frustrated or couldn’t understand, you were patient, taking my mind off of the negative and turning me so I could face the positive. That’s a rare kind of person. You are a rare kind of person. Please always be happy, Kim Junmyeon.

Love,

(y/n)

 With a sigh you sat back in your chair. The letter had done its job. Though you were still sad about the way things turned out, you no longer felt defeated. The words you needed to say were now out there without being “out there”. Okay, so he had a girlfriend. Big deal. It wasn’t the end of the world. There were more potential love interests out there that you could find. He was only one and obviously wasn’t the one.

Beginning to smile again, you folded the letter and put it in an envelope. You didn’t have Junmyeon’s address, so you wrote out the address for the math lab. Opening the top drawer of the vanity, you placed the latest addition to your collection under the first envelope. The doorbell rang right as you closed it up again. Oh, thank goodness. Food.

Practically skipping down the steps, you hurried to the front door.

“Hi-” You stopped as soon as you’d opened it. The person waiting on the other side was not the pizza delivery guy - it was Baekhyun. The boxes holding the pizza and cheese sticks you’d order for no one but yourself were in his hands. Over his shoulder, you barely caught sight of the delivery man driving away. “Really?”

“What? I was bored. And hungry.” He flipped open the lid to show you the hot, melted cheese of the appetizer. “Cheese stick?”

Rolling your eyes, you stepped aside so he could come inside.

Baekhyun had been to your home plenty of times in the past so it was easy for him to make himself at home. He didn’t wait for you before pulling plates out of the cabinet and pouring a drink. He even went as far as getting you glass as well. “Thirsty?”

“Yeah, thanks.”

The two of you ate at the kitchen table as your mother had a “no meals in the living room” policy. Small snacks like nuts and popcorn were okay, as long as you didn’t spill any on the couches.

“So… how did the writing go?” Baekhyun asked cheekily between bites.

You shrugged. “Fine. I’m deciding that I’m getting over it.”

Now it was Baekhyun’s turn to roll his eyes. “You always get over them fast.”

“What’s the point of dwelling on the things you can’t change?”

That was always your answer. Yes, the hurt was immediate and painful, but Baekhyun was right, you tended to push it aside rather quickly. That was the whole point of your letters, anyway. Get the feelings out of the way so you could move on. What was the point of clinging on to something like that? You would only end up worse if you stayed in that spot. So, you pushed yourself to move on. And eight times out of nine, it had worked. There was only that one nagging letter that failed to do its job. That particular set of feelings refused to go away even as you looked to other crushes, as you found other boys to like. It was the one you would always wonder about, the one that was completely off limits. The dull ache still crept up every once in a while. If moving on was what you had to do, you would do it. Because you would prefer if you never had to go through something like that ever again.

[papabirdurskeks]

I ask this both for Baron Dark, Ariandel and SkekSo !

Give me a character and I will answer: @ben-the-hyena

Oh boy a triple feature! :D Here we go, folks!

Under a read more cause its going to get long but each listed character will be split apart evenly!

First up is Baron Dark!

Why I like them: He is just bombastic in personality! He lives loud in his actions and words, participating in most of the action himself while also showing he is a threat and menacing altogether! I also like that he is one of the few villains that shows he cares for his crew as a “family” (at least for most part of the series before being overtaken with obsession to have power more on his own). Given the dynamic we are given from the show, its obvious he cares and treats them all on a level of respect as well, something so rare to see nowadays! And I also enjoyed that his reasons to take over and do the shit he did in the series, “Because I can!” is just as refreshing and fun to see in a villain too!  And again, his design is a top tier design I love overall! Its menacing, powerful, and outright amazing! Definitely adds to the character and how well he works in effect to keeping my attention! Like just look at that design! And his VA did a wonderful job of adding to that charm that is just delightful to see in his personality! Overall, he is totally a villain I would love to see more of in the future!

Why I don’t: I say my dislikes often fall on the usual tropes of a kid’s show of the 90s. He talks too much when he could be doing things himself and falls victim to the typical “I am too powerful” but doesn’t think of the obvious steps ahead that will be his downfall. But honestly, its so small I don’t find it jarring or that bad to be in the way! It was the 90s and aimed at kids at the time, so we can’t expect TOO much out of that xD

Favorite episode (scene if movie): Oh man, that’s a tough one cause every scene/episode Baron is in he totally slays it! Its either a tie from the first episode to the very last one cause the stakes of start and finish are so well done, I love it all! 

Favorite season/movie: Obviously, the TV series is the best version of him! The comics sucked and turned him too OOC from what was initially given! Like how does one go from point A to be Z so freaking fast? xD

Favorite line: “Because I can.” Yeah, not gonna lie this was indeed my favorite line of his xD

Favorite outfit: Honestly, the outfit he gains near the end of the series is by far my favorite! Its like a mix of the Bejeweled Catacomb Saints and Mictlantechutli put in one and its befitting of the Baron given his gain in power! 

OTP: Baron and Cyborn are my OTP and are married, fight me. 

Brotp: Definitely Brotps with the rest of his henchmen though I see them more being like his adoptive children! 

Head Canon: Baron is of indigenous background! I also like to headcanon that the white tuft/strands in his hair are truly his and have been there since birth!  (I have so many more HCs for him but I will keep it short cause it can go all day x’) )

Unpopular opinion: Don’t think I have one, at the moment at least. 

A wish: To have gotten more information/lore on him and the entire cast, honestly! I would have loved to see more of his character explored and what more he could have had to offer as a series main villain! Hell, the whole damn series had so much to offer! And just the relationships he has with the others and what more he could have done post season and before! So much potential there to be explored! I honestly would not be objecting to a reboot/revival or continuation of the series! 

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: Though with that said, if a reboot does come around, don’t turn it into the mess of current cartoons we have. Not that they are all bad but most of them have been very disappointing in keeping my attention and liking. Keep the same type of messages it had before! It worked beautifully as it did then and still does work now! I’d love to see the same formulas used while also updating it to be more gritty and mature like they did for Castlevania! Just... Don’t turn it into a cringe worthy mess that will ruin Baron and all the characters in the series! Don’t do what the comics did! 

5 words to best describe them: Charmingly evil, badass, fun, conniving bastard, and menacing. 

My nickname for them: Mega dork (affectionately speaking)

Next is Ariandel!

Why I like them: Oh boy, there is a lot to say in terms of why I like him but I will try to keep it short and simple for time purposes!  His design is top tier for me! Like a rotting skull like face? Check! A monstrous body much like a bird’s? Check! And to add he is a giant Corvian, which are one of my favorite enemies in Dark Souls III!  His personality also differs from the usual loud, bombastic, and proud characters I tend to gravitate for. Instead, he’s withdrawn and rather sad to look at and hear. You know he’s going through a lot but don’t know exactly what it is. In game, one can sort of get hints as to what has gone on behind the scenes but at the same time, its still vague and hard to really pinpoint what really did happen. So he has that air of mystery to him that I honestly adore in many characters as it leaves room to explore deeper into their lore! But I also find his personality relatable as well as sympathetic.  But that’s just me, I can gush about him all day but I will cut it short here x’)

Why I don’t: To be honest I don't have any reason not to like Ariandel other then the small fact that he followed Friede and let the Painted World rot in such a terrible state. But that is so minor of an issue to me to really make a difference, lol. I adore this giant bird man!

Favorite episode (scene if movie): I have to say the scene where he ultimately snaps and breaks out of binds after seeing Friede's lifeless body before him is my favorite scene of his. The amount of pain and anguish heard in his scream and the way he moves prior and after; I can very much relate to that feeling. Sometimes, actions truly convey the emotions better in the most powerful means necessary. And this scene alone truly nailed it.

Favorite season/movie: He's only ever seen in the Dark Souls III DLC, so obvious answer points to the DLC!

Favorite line: "When the Ashes are two, a flame alighteth. Thou'rt Ash, and fire befits thee, of course..."

Favorite outfit: Uhh, he doesn't really wear any clothes save for his cape? So I guess the cape does him well as he is, though I always draw him without it xD

OTP: To be honest, I don't ship him with any canon characters within Dark Souls. Friede does not deserve him..

Brotp: Ariandel being best friends with the Ashen One is my ultimate Brotp! Just think of how much of a valuable ally he could have been!

Head Canon: I know his origins are debatable, as either theory I have for him can be plausible but I often lean more towards the idea of him being half Giant and half Corvian! IDK why but I just like it a lot more x’)

Unpopular opinion: While Ariandel is partly responsible for what happened to the Painted World, I still feel he was manipulated overall and probably at one point did have a change of heart before being forced into complete isolation. He plays more the role of the willing/unwilling accomplice then the actual perpetrator of the crime.  

A wish: He could have had a happier ending without having to die for Friede. I know, its Dark Souls. Such a thing is expected to happen in the Soulsborne series but its a wish, right? 

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: That anything beyond the infatuation he had for Friede took place. Just.. No. He loved her but never could ever have her in that sense and never did. Just no, she is horrible to him. 

5 words to best describe them: Sad, lonely, birdman, withdrawn, and tragic

My nickname for them: Papa bird

And lastly for skekSo!

Why I like them: I think its as obvious as the case for Baron Dark. I like evil, smug bastards that shine through their wickedness and don't usually hold back. In the case of skekSo, I actually didn't care for him at first but then after my second viewing of the show, I started to like him more and enjoy his villainy! He's selfish, arrogant, vain, and conniving and I love it! Added that his design is really appealing to the eye and how he carries himself out, I gotta say he's one of the few villain characters from a show that makes the turn around for me to like them instead of hate them more. Also, his voice. Can NOT go wrong with that voice cause DAMN, its good and shows just how powerful a villain can be with a voice like his. And those eyes. Oh man, those eyes!

Why I don’t: Despite his villainy being the main point that caught my attention, its also a part of his downfall too. His constant greed and arrogance pushed him too far into doing what he did and ultimately cost him everything in the end; including loyal allies that end up dying for him in the long run. I hate how easily and quickly he changes his mind when actual logic is put into perspective of his plans and how quick he is to dismiss someone else when they don't please him anymore or things don't go his way for the smallest things. And yes, that is part of his character, I know that. That is what makes him as scummy as he is and why I love how trashy he is. But I also can't ignore just how easily he pushed skekVar away and believed skekSil despite knowing just what a lying bastard he is. IDK, it just feels too obvious but at the same time, it is what it is and I am not upset about it in the least x)

Favorite episode (scene if movie): Honestly, I enjoyed all the scenes with him in the show but mostly in particular with his interactions with skekVar, especially towards the end of the series. It showed a peak part of his vulnerability in his character that honestly I doubt he ever shows to anyone else. He spends most of his time pushing others around and making them fear him but with skekVar there is a sort of mutual respect going that really speaks out in a different way. Maybe I am just reading too much into it, but I always did enjoy how they interacted with one another!

Favorite season/movie: Well, skekSo didn't get much screen time in the movie other then him dying and turning to dust so.... Definitely enjoyed him more in the show then the film xD

Favorite line: "NOOOOO!" (Yes, this scene is still very infamous to me for personal reasons but the way he carried out his "no's" cracked me up each time xD)

Favorite outfit: Honestly, the main outfit he wore throughout the show. It's just so regal and goth, I love it! And as a goth and fashion enthusiast myself, I am all up for the style he has! The battle armor he wore near the end made it a tad more laughable to be honest.

OTP: I started shipping him with skekVar but ended up with an OT3 of skekVar and skekZok. So now all three of them live in a happy relationship with each other in my noodle~

Brotp: I see him being on neutral terms with skekMal! 

Head Canon: I feel that even in the show it wasn’t seen or given, but he did feel a lot of remorse and regret after the loss of skekVar. He seemed very close with him and spoke with skekVar with more trust then he did the others. Perhaps in secret he did mourn the General’s loss. 

Unpopular opinion: Does this count as an unpopular opinion? I know most people see him with just a few strands of hair but I tend to see him with a head full of long flowing white locks he keeps hidden beneath his clothes. It adds to the extra layer of vanity for a proud Emperor such as he! He looses it over time the darkening consumes him and withers down his health. 

A wish: To see what he was like as an urSkek prior to being split up into a Skeksis and urRu. Yeah, I know people don't care or like the urSkeks all that much but honestly, I would LOVE to see more urSkek lore and see what it was that made SoSu so special among his peers. It was said, after all, he had a voice that could move the stars but was conflicted and consumed with darkness. Honestly, I want to know why and who he was prior to all of this mess! SkekSo even says in the show he still has nightmares of the life before so I wonder, what they were and how it was! So much potential here, man!

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: I don’t think I have any of these to be honest? At least with skekSo. Not that I can think of on top of my head now. 

5 words to best describe them: Proud, absolute piece of shit, pretty, conniving, and menacing. 

My nickname for them: Stupid idiot

[spockandawe]

Bingqiu

HELL YEAH HELL YEAH

Downsides:

I’m not a... huge fan of the pov character being like ‘i’m not gay, tho! i’m not!’ even though I do think it gets resolved in a fairly timely way. And it fits with Shen Qingqiu’s oblivious personality, haha. But in this case, how do I put this. It played not-great with the book’s pacing (uneven, but I don’t really mind) and a central conceit that I like a lot, which is that our main character spends quite some time convinced that his love interest wants him dead.

I don’t necessarily need the book to linger, directly over relationship development for me to be into it, and I absolutely LOVE a dynamic where one person is like ‘hah, you want me dead’ and has to realize they have things very backwards. But in this case, by the time Shen Qingqiu is coming around to ‘oh, you don’t want me dead!’ he slides right into the ‘but i’m straight!’ side track, and by the time he becomes willing to consider that maybe he’s less straight than previously assumed, we’re practically at the fuck or die climax of the novel.

Which isn’t terrible, I honestly adore this relationship. And I do think that binghe’s breakdown over seeing that he fucked shen qingqiu hits much harder if he still feels 100% insecure that his shizun wants him around, period. But I do sometimes wish that we’d gotten a little more opportunity for them to be... platonically-close-with-background-slow-mo-queer-awakening, if you know what I mean.

Upsides:

Oh lord, it’s hard to know what to say here, because the accurate response is Everything. Let’s see. Well, to start with, I adore the emotional high of reading a relationship that starts on such unstable footing (maigu ridge) and works itself out in the end (that marriage extra tho). Reading about Binghe being so unhappy and lonely and insecure and then being loved will never stop doing it for me.

Usually, a teacher/student dynamic would be not my favorite, but something about the shizunfucker genre clicks well with me for some reason. Especially for a student like Luo Binghe, where we’re told about how much he suffered as a child, and how alone he was, and all the ways that original flavor Shen Qingqiu mistreated him, because then, it opens the door to such an intense adoration of a teacher that treats him well and takes care of him. I haven’t read a shixiong/shidi book that plays with quite same themes, but I don’t think it would hit me in quite the same way (yuwu goes there a little, but even though the ship is great, it's not THIS kind of adoration). There’s something about ships with this sort of intense codependence that really work for me, and this book absolutely nails that.

But also, the power dynamics in here are FASCINATING to me. Erha is the main point of shizunfucker comparison that I have, which really is too small of a sample size to judge from. But I don’t think I’d like either of these as much if the teacher was also the driving force behind the relationship. I don’t just mean that in a top/bottom way, but more pursuer vs pursuee. And to go with that, I do also like how hard Binghe has to pursue to get anywhere with Shen Qingqiu. I like... suffering XD As long as it ends happily. And this book really delivers. Tgcf is romantic and all, but I can’t personally conceptualize eight hundred years. I have trouble visualizing 13/16 years. But three years, then five years? I can picture that, and it hurts. The dream flashback where Binghe is telling Shen Qingqiu that he can’t go on....... that hit me right in the stomach.

Also too, not canon-based, because even if it’s a standard genre feature, I don’t have much patience for strict gong/shou roles, but... For a character as needy as Binghe, this is a situation where I absolutely have no trouble setting aside what the book says and substituting a different reality. And I do love me a pair of switches. And I also love me a boy who is very enthusiastic about sex, and very, very bad at it, which is canon, which delights me. The neediness in this relationship, and binghe’s CLEAR room for growth make me much more interested in exploring a post-canon relationship than I tend to be for the other relationships (caveat: i am still prodding at new depths of hua cheng’s issues, and am much more interested than i used to be, but binghe still fascinates me more)

And this may sound weird, but..... I love me a manipulative, needy love interest. It’s real easy for it to play badly, and it’s real easy for it to leave a bad taste in my mouth, but bingqiu works really well for me. It adds tasty tension before the relationship is established, and once the relationship is established and Shen Qingqiu is well aware that Binghe will cry at the drop of a hat, I still love love love to see him folding like a damp paper towel anyways. It’s a flaw, but it’s a flaw that adds depth and flavor to their relationship that I really, really adore.

Okay, I’m losing coherence here. But I just have to copy one excerpt, I just. I love them so, so much.

Shen Qingqiu said, “The way you called ‘shishu’ was too insincere. From now on, don’t call him that.”

Resentfully, Luo Binghe said, “When he calls me a little brute or a thankless wretch, he’s sincere enough.”

Shen Qingqiu couldn’t resist laughing at that. His folding fan was sitting beside the couch, and he picked it up to give Luo Binghe a few taps on the head. “Was he wrong? You dare lay your wolf claws on this teacher’s body? If you’re not a little brute, then what are you?”

The words came too smoothly, and he himself hadn’t realized that this was pushing the bounds of propriety. The tail end of his words lifted the corner of his mouth, in a way that was frivolous yet heavy, a bit coquettish, and extremely undignified.

Luo Binghe looked down at him from above. Watching Shen Qingqiu beneath him, he felt some sort of fire beginning to burn wildly in his heart and stomach. He subconsciously moved to place a leg between Shen Qingqiu’s knees, but suddenly afraid he’d be kicked off the bamboo couch, he quickly dropped his head down to let Shen Qingqiu swat him with his fan to his heart’s content. “Even if I am a little brute, then I’m only Shizun’s little brute. Other people can’t call me that.”