#exo fake dating au

[luumiinaa]

silent screaming, feet kickingly good

“All Yours”

Genre: Smut (I guess with a little angst, like a tiny tiny bit)

Word Count: 12,459

A/N: Hey guys, this was supposed to be a quick story and I didn’t mean for it to be so long. I apologize for that. At first I was going to make a post, asking if you guys wanted me to break this story up into 2 parts or just post the entire thing. But I knew you guys would have rather read it all at once. Anyways, I got this idea from looking at Kai’s shoot with Elle magazine. I’m sorry guys but to me, it just screams sub. I would dominate the hell out of this little boi lol. I put the two of my favorite pictures together so you guys can get the idea. Happy readings!

“Mmm… just like that. It feels so good, pet.” You moaned with your head thrown back. 

Your hand gripped his hair bringing his face closer to your heat. His tongue parted your lips in an effort to taste more of you. He gave soft kitty licks up to your clit, taking it in his mouth and sucking lightly. Jongin glances up at you, watching as your breasts rose and fell with your breathing. He loved to see how his actions pleased you. If he had to be cliché, you being turned on by him, turns him on. His hips slowly thrusting in the air looking for some kind of relief. But for now, he focused on getting you off. That’s what you trained him to do. His wrists were secured to the arm rest of the chair to keep him from getting distracted and touching himself. Once you cum first and then it was his turn, that was the rule. Jongin didn’t mind, he was your sub. He was there to serve you and you only. That was the agreement when you both met six months ago.

Jongin was a college student, studying music and dance. You, however, were already in your career at a big company as a executive director. But your two worlds collided one night when you both showed up at the same bar. He was with his friends and you were with a good friend from your college days. They were in a booth while you were seated at the bar. You slipped your extra strong martini, slowly licking the salt around the rim. Today was a stressful day at work and all you wanted was to unwind.

“Twenty bucks says that I’ll have her licking my dick like that.” You heard one of them say.

“No, a chick that behaves in public like that just need to be put in her place. Her boyfriend must not be doing a good job. Lucky for her I have a nice fat one for her to sit on.” Another one boasted. 

Your eyebrow ticked in the air and your hand shook with anger. Your friend could sense a change in your mood and tried to defuse the situation by telling you to ignore them. But the more you did, the louder they would joke about fucking you. After seven minutes of listening to them go on, you couldn’t take anymore. You swallowed your martini back and left your seat, storming up to the table.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t hear all the shit you wanted to do to me from my seat. Would you mind repeating that so I can’t hear you clearly?” 

The boys were stunned by your behavior. They didn’t think that you would be bold enough to approach them like that. You stared into all three of their face. None of them were able to meet your gaze.

“Come on, don’t a pussy.” You loudly chuckled but they still didn’t say a word. “Is that how you guys attract girls? You try to boost their tiny egos by hurling demeaning insults their way. So when you approach them, they think you’re this big macho man with balls of steel and agree to let you take them home. But in reality, you don’t even last five minutes. Why? Because you are all weak minded little boys with loud obnoxious personalities to make up what you’re lacking. And I’m sorry, but your plan didn’t work tonight. You might as well go to a club where the little girls there don’t know the different between contemptuous and humble.”

You turned to leave walking to the bathroom, your friend following right behind you. You only gotten a couple feet away before you heard them scoffing and making other disdain noises.

“Wow, what a bitch.”

“Yeah, what crawled up her ass and died?… whatever, let’s get outta here.”

You made it to the bathroom, harshly gripping the sink and looking yourself in the mirror. Your ugly green monster was showing and you didn’t mean for it to. Why would you care about what young immature guys in a bar had to say? Punks like them were everywhere and you dealt with your fair share for the day.

“I told you to ignore them, y/n. They were just a couple of nobody’s. Nothing to get yourself worked up over.”

You sighed, glancing down at your hands. “��yeah. Well I’m over this anyway. I just need something strong to wash away the bitter taste in my mouth.”

“Go right ahead, I’m going to head home for the night.” She threw her purse over her shoulder. “Try not to get into anymore arguments.”

She walked away, leaving you inside the bathroom alone. You wet a couple napkins in water and placed it against the back of your neck. The coldness helped soothe your body even more and you were now ready to face the other patrons in the bar. You were more than ready to go home too but not before getting another drink in your system. Exiting the restroom, you headed for an open seat at bar when someone stopped you.

“Excuse me.”

You turned towards the voice only to be disappointed after realizing it was one of guys that were sitting at the table. “Yes, what is it?” You asked trying to mask your irritation. You definitely wasn’t in the mood for round two. 

Jongin could see the disappointment in your eyes but he felt as though he needed to make this right. “I just wanted to apologize on behalf of my friends. They usually don’t act so belligerently.”

“I beg to differ. I’m sure it’s a reoccurring issue once they’re full of booze.” 

Jongin scratched his head as he thought of what to say next but you were already walking away. He grabbed your arm, trying to stop you. “Wait!…” You looked up at him again with your eyebrow in the air and immediately, he felt intimidated under your gaze as he did earlier. “I-I was wondering if I could buy you a drink and we could just sit and talk.”

He swallowed nervously, unsure of how you would take his offer. You turned your body to face him completely, walking closer to him and out of earshot of others. Unintentionally cornering him against a nearby wall. Jongin’s heart quicken in his chest at what you could do. He hoped you wouldn’t knee him in the groin out of anger. But weirdly enough, he was becoming slightly aroused. Never had he had a woman act so aggressive towards him. 

“Listen, if you’re trying to get me full of liquor so you can see if what your friends said about me is true, then you’ve picked the wrong woman.”

Jongin instantly became red in the face, gushing with embarrassment. “No! I… those weren’t my intentions at all.” He mumbled the last part as you stared up into his face. A part of you was quite satisfied with the fact that you could make someone like him feel threatened, despite the obvious height difference between the two of you. “I just wanted to make a truce by buying you a drink. I thought you were very brave for what you did. As you said, girls just lay down with them because of their asshole nature but it was refreshing see to someone knock them off their high horse for a change.”

It was quiet for minute as neither one of you spoke a word and the chattering of the people around you, filled the air. Minutes later, you both were seated at the bar together, swallowing back drink after drink. Even as the time approached one in the morning, both of you still hadn’t left your seats.

“So you’re still in college, huh?” You smiled, leaning on your hand. Jongin looked away bashfully with a smile on his face.

“Yeah, I am.”

“What are you studying?”

“Dance with music as my minor. It’s something I wanted to do since I was a kid.” You hummed in agreement and he looked down at his glass, afraid to ask you questions. “So… um.. what do you do?”

You rolled your eyes and sighed. “Just a director for some company. No big deal.”

He chuckled. “Now I see it.”

“See what?”

“Where the bossiness comes from. You like to be in control.”

“Oh, so now you think you know me?” You asked smartly. Jongin sensed a change in your mood and knew what he said was out of line. 

“No no, what I meant was you have great leadership that you display it well outside of work. Your personality is very strong that you can’t hide it.”

“And does that bother you?” You studied his reaction.

“Umm… I…”

“Honestly.”

He took a deep breath. “No, not really. It kind of reminds me of those dominatrix women with power but you’re not like that, right?” 

Jongin didn’t know why he said that. You were you, yes a bit headstrong but you seemed like any other woman that was ahead in her job. He just let his imagination run wild, hoping it was just that. Yet under the counter, he was trying to soothe the tightness of his jeans. You didn’t respond and he still felt your eyes on him. Jongin cleared his throat and swallowed down the rest of his drink. Feeling his nervousness increasing, you finished off the rest of your drink and stood to leave. 

“Come on. Let’s get out of here.”

After a brief cab ride, you both arrived at your house. Jongin stood by your door afraid to come closer. Why would you invite him to your house and you barely knew him? In fact, you didn’t know anything about him. You laugh, taking off your jacket and tossing it on the couch.

“You can come further inside, Jongin. I’m not going to kill you or anything but if you’re feeling too uncomfortable, I can always call a cab for you to go home.”

He removed his jacket, holding it in his hands until you came over, took it from him, and throwing it on the couch besides yours. You pulled him into the living room and down into a loveseat. You sat next to him with your legs under you and your body facing him. You were sitting very close and Jongin didn’t know how to take it. He wasn’t sure if you were coming on to him or not which left him in a very confused state. Should he man up and make a move on you and risk you biting his head off or allow you to do whatever you wanted to him? He nervously fidgeted in his seat causing you to smile. Your hand rested on his thigh while the other played in his hair.

“Are you scared of me, Jongin?” He slowly shook his head. “Then just relax. I promise I won’t bite you, not yet at least.”

He swallowed hard, staring at your hand. It was sitting perfectly in the middle, between his dick and his knee. Once again, he started to grow in his briefs and hoped you didn’t notice. He cleared his throat, hoping that a light conversation would distract him from his thoughts. “Why did you invite me here?”

“To feel you out and also make you an offer that could benefit us both.” He stared at you waiting for you to continue. You couldn’t help but smile brightly. “You have the making of a good sub. There is much you still have to learn but with training, I think you would make a very obedient pet. Is that something you would be interested in?”

Jongin laughed out loud, looking to see if you were serious or not. But in reality, both of his heads were about to burst. His imagination wasn’t just getting the better of him and he did happen to stumble into the house of a dominatrix. Perhaps he had too much to drink and his mind is in a drunken state, creating a scenario of one of his deep dark fantasies. You stared back him unmoved by his fit of giggles. When he realized you weren’t laughing, he immediately stopped and his nervousness came right back. 

“I’m sorry, that was stupid of me to do. I-”

“I asked you a question and I’m waiting for an answer.” You interrupted.

He thought it over. Although he didn’t know anything about you or anything about what he was getting into, he wasn’t into any other activities besides the ones pertaining to his major at the university. He didn’t do anything special besides hanging out with his friends and he seen what trouble that got him. If any of them knew about this, they’d tell him to run and never look back. But still… there was something about you. Something mysterious that drew him towards you. 

“W-What will I be doing?”

“Nothing you don’t want to do. I won’t force you, Jongin, but I do have rules.”

He nodded, feeling a bit relieved. Hearing how someone like you would not keep him against his will, made him relax just bit. “What are they?”

“Rule number one: respect and manners. I will treat you with respect and I expect the same in return, especially in public. I’ve dealt with a few bratty subs before and I have nothing wrong with it inside the house but on the outside… one thing you will continue to learn about me, Jongin, is that I have zero tolerance for embarrassing disrespectful behavior. Rule number two: we will have scheduled days to spend together. Since you are a busy college student, I’m willing to bend the rules and see you two to three days out of the week, preferably the weekend; one night and two full days. If you have performances on the days we meet, then let me know ahead of time and we’ll reschedule. But if I sense a change in your schedule and you aren’t telling me and spending your time elsewhere or you aren’t making time for us to play then I will have no choice but to let you go. I will not chase you down or nag you. Rule number three: I will be the only woman you are seeing while we are together. If you have a girlfriend, now would be a good time to tell me. No, I’m not jealous. I just don’t have time for the petty arguments and high school drama that goes with cheating. If I find out that you’re seeing someone while we are together then I will drop you within the blink of an eye. Rule number four: I will distribute small punishments when you disobey, misbehave, or overstep boundaries. The punishments range from mild such as light whips to your skin. Or in some cases, severe, where I will get you excited and bring you to the edge only to leave you that way until I’m ready and you’ve learned your lesson. The longest record was a month. Keep in mind that my punishments are not to hurt you but to help you. Rule number five: I am a very private person, which means that outside of this house, no one is to know what we do. For the sake of your pride, I’m sure you wouldn’t want anyone at the university to know what you’re agreeing to and with a job like mine, I’d rather not let that kind of information about me get out. Rule number six: first me then you. And this goes for a number of things but mostly for any sexual play.” Like a reoccurring problem, the mention of sex had Jongin’s cock swelling in his pants and he tried his best to hide it. The conversation was supposed to be taken serious and him reacting to word sex like an immature sex-driven teenage only made him feel how inadequate he was to be your lover. He flipped one leg over the other and tried to ignore the nagging tightness of his pants. “It’s not that I am a selfish lover. On the contrary, I aim to please and make it my main priority to please you. Rule number seven: in this house and when we are in privacy, you are to address me as ‘Queen’. In public you will call me by my first name. I will address you either as ‘pet’ or ‘Jongin’. And rule number eight comes after you agree.”

You both sat quietly once you had finished your speech. Two halves of Jongin’s brains were going at it in a full battle. His testosterone was fueling his blood, wanting nothing more than to jump at the opportunity but his logic side was trying to pull him back to safety.

“I…I-I…” He stuttered unable to say a word but caused you to laugh.

“I am a very simple dom. I like to think of our relationship as more of a partnership, we are just satisfying each other’s needs. Anytime you don’t think you can follow my rules anymore or you want to leave, then just say the word and I’ll end this.”

Jongin stared deep into your eyes as he tried to find his voice. This was his chance to try something new and different and if he didn’t like it, he could just leave. He cleared his throat. “I’ll do it.”

You stood to your feet and walked over to your mantle piece, grabbed a small black box. Returning back to the couch, you handed the item to him. Jongin looked at you confused. “Open it. This is rule number eight.” He opened the lid and stared down at a gold key on a black leather choker. “You are to wear this at all times. This collar shows that you belong to me. That is the actual key to my house.”

Jongin took the collar out the box and you took it from his hands. Coming around the couch, you place the choker around his neck, fastening it in place. “Whenever you want to end this, return the collar and that’s it. It’s as simple as that.” You whispered in his ear.

Jongin turned to look at you. His eyes bounced from your eyes to your lips, waiting nothing more but to seal the deal with a kiss. But to his disdain, you kicked him out of your house ordering him to go home because it was almost four in the morning.

That was six months ago and now you succeeded and trained Jongin into the perfect pet. No other submissive you had could compare to him. He followed every rule of yours to the T and you rarely had to punish him. Now he sat before you on his knees, your legs thrown over his shoulders, his hands were rendered immobile to use as he ate your pussy. He wanted to be a useful pet and make you more relaxed after a long day at work. Usually when you two met on Friday evenings, he could see how exhausted you been from the week. But instead of asking questions, like he use to do and got punished, he would pamper you first. It was then that you would open up about what happened at work.

Jongin sucked your lips into his mouth before releasing them to lick in between. You moaned, grinding back against his tongue. He knew just what to do to have you coming undone. You held his head still as you ground harder against his lips, reaching the peak of your orgasm. Even with his lips crushed, his tongue still flicked over your pussy, helping you cum.

“Shit!” You cried out, falling back in the stained hardwood chair. Jongin slowly licked you over. He caught any of your juices that escaped during your release. When he finished, he looked up at you in silence, waiting on his orders. Your legs fell from his shoulders and you unbuckled his wrists from the restrains they were in. “Stand to your feet so I can take care of you, pet.”

“Yes, Queen.”

He stood to his feet, showing off his painful erection. Already it was red with anger for release and dripping clear precum from the tip. Staring at it not only made your mouth water but it made the muscles of your cunt tightened around air. You slipped to your knees, looking up at him. Jongin was truly a gorgeous man and had the body of Greek God. You bet that he had the girls around campus dying to get a look at him up close and personal. You smiled and leaned in closer. Your hand wrapped around his shaft, slowly stroking it as more precum dripped over your fingers. Jongin closed his eyes and tried not to focus too much on your movements. You placed a kiss to his nut sac, feeling how hard it was.

“Relax for me, pet. I will have this delicious cock weeping with joy in no time.”

Jongin swallowed hard. Only he knew the true nature of your words. Although you wanted him to cum, you didn’t want him cumming until after he fucked you. That was a mistake he made in the past. He use to misinterpret your words and cum in your mouth, only to be punished twice because of it. You would mark him for disobeying then get him hard again, only to make him beg you for his orgasm.

Jongin’s body shuddered at the thought. So no matter how hard he was and wanted to cum, he couldn’t. This was about perseverance and withholding until the time was right. But you still didn’t make this easier for him. Your mouth opened for one of his balls to enter. You sucked lightly, feeling the oval object jump on your tongue. Jongin groaned as he head fell back. He fought hard not to touch you. If he did then he would end up trying to control your movements which resulted in another punishment. You knew best and he was not allowed to question that. Your tongue moved to the underside of the sac, licking where the two balls connected before moving to the other and taking it in your warm wet mouth. Jongin’s abs flexed under his skin as his mind battled with his body. He let out a whimper to which you noticed immediately.

“Do you need a break, pet?” You questioned but he shook his head. A break meant no orgasm which meant he would be stuck with a raging hard on.

“No, Queen,” He trembled. “Please continue to use your beautiful mouth on me.”

“Are you sure? You seem as though you are having a hard time. I wouldn’t want you to exhaust yourself before I can cum over your pretty cock.” You smiled, already knowing his answer; all the while you stroked his shaft.

Jongin swallowed hard. “I-I won’t disappoint you, Queen. Please allow me to show you how obedient I am.” He pleaded.

“You’re such a good boy. Knowing that you’re seconds away from cumming yet you still want me to blow you.” You giggled. “Well your wish is my command.”

You went back sucking on his nut sac, only this time you did it harder. Jongin stomach tightened. You were right. He wasn’t going to last long, not with you and your torturous ways. Hearing an increase in his breathing, you released his sac and quickly wrapped your mouth around his cock. Your hand moved to the base while your mouth covered his shaft. You sucked him off with moderate speed, squeezing you cheeks around him. With your head bobbing back and forth and your hand stroking him off, Jongin thought he was about to lose his mind. He literally thought he was going to pass out from the lightheadedness from trying to stay in control. Just when he thought he you couldn’t do any more damage, you moved your hand and swallowed his entire cock, letting it rest in your throat. Jongin loudly groan out as his body hunched over in euphoria. He could fill the cum rushing from his testicles to the head of his dick. You felt it too as you nuzzled his pubic hair with your nose. You thought he was going to cum and risk another punishment but to your surprise, it never came. Looking up at Jongin, you could see him trembling as his body dripped with sweat. Somehow he was at the brink of cumming but managed to stop himself. You were impressed, but after all, he was the perfect pet. 

You pulled away, letting his cock slip from your mouth and stood to your feet. Jongin looked at you with tired eyes. You could see that he was a bit hesitant with uncertainty of your actions but you simply held out your hand for him to take.

“Come on, pet. It’s time for me to drain you with this pussy. Once I have taken every last drip. I will wash and pamper you for all your hard work, does that sound good?”

You could see his eyes light up as his energy returns to his body. Jongin smiled, taking your hand and letting you lead him to the bedroom. “Yes, Queen. That sounds great.”

“What are you doing this weekend? I thought maybe you’d want to hit the town, find a cute girl for you to fuck.” His friend suggested. “It’s been awhile since we all hung out together.”

“I don’t know. I’m kinda busy this weekend.” Jongin replied, making both of his friends groan.

“Aw come on, Kai. It’s the same shit with you every weekend. What’s going on?” One of them spoke.

“If it’s a chick, you can tell us.” The other one stated.

“If a chick is taking up all your weekends and not letting you hang with your boys then that chick is crazy. Bros before hoes. But if the sex is that good to where you’re spending all your time with her, see if she has any friends.” 

Both boys laughed while Jongin thought it over. He has been spending every weekend with you. Maybe if he asked nicely, you’d allow him to hang out with his friends. They all split up, heading to class and Jongin made it to his with five minutes to spare. The seat he normally would sit in was already occupied by a girl. Her long black silky hair covered her face as she leaned over to retrieve something from her backpack. Jongin took the seat next to her and began to prepare himself for the lecture. He sat back in his seat and waited for the teacher to arrive but then he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. Fishing it out, he realized the message was from you.

8:50am- Queen: I hope you have a wonderful week, pet. Can’t wait to see you this weekend. *image*

Jongin’s eyes widened at the picture you sent. You were wearing one of plaid shirts and under that, a see-through bra and panty set completed with matching thigh high tights. He quickly shielded his phone away from anyone with nosy eyes and turning down the brightness. It was early in the morning and you’ve managed to rile him up, especially in his lower region. He couldn’t wait for you to liter him with praises and pamper him like you did this past weekend. A smiled spread across his face at the thought of his life. Jongin felt lucky to be in such a situation. You came into his life and somehow made everything better. He felt like he didn’t need anything else.

“Excuse me.” A light voice spoke. When Jongin looked in that direction, the girl in the next seat over was staring at him. At that moment, he thought his heart was going to burst through his chest. She was so beautiful and her dark big doe eyes… Jongin became tongue tied, struggling to form a sentence. The girl noticed and smiled. “I was in a rush this morning and forgot to grab my pencil case. Would you happen to have an extra pencil or pen that I could borrow?”

Clearing his throat, Jongin snapped out of the trance that she had him in. “Uh yeah. Here, take this one.” He gave her the pen he was already in his hand.

“Oh thank you so much. I know it’s very irresponsible of me as a student to show up to class unprepared. I’ll give it right back when class is over.”

He shook his head. “No, keep it. Just in case of emergencies. Accidents happen, especially early in the morning.”

The girl smiled again. “Thank you, you are really sweet.” It was quiet for a second until she addressed him again. “I’m Jihae.”

“Jongin.” He held his hand out and she gently shook it. 

Throughout class, the pair conversed and assisted each other with the coursework. Jihae would giggle at all Jongin jokes and references he made and he would blush every time she would compliment his looks or smarts. A bond had been formed that day and both of them couldn’t deny. They naturally pulled to each other which left the pair yearning for more.

“I guess I’ll see you next class.” Jongin said and Jihae smiled.

“I guess so. I’ll see you then, Jongin.”

His lips spread across, smirking to himself as he left the classroom. Throughout the entire day, Jihae was on his mind. So much so that he had completely forgotten about the text you’ve sent him earlier that morning. He lied in bed recounting the encounter in his head over and over, thinking of every reaction Jihae had made. Jongin fell asleep that night with a big smile on his face and a anxious feeling to see her again. A day had passed and once again it was time for class. He walked into the room and there she was, as if she was waiting for him only. She perked up in her seat and smiled brightly as he went to the open seat next to her. 

“Hi, Jongin. How are you this morning?” She beamed.

“I’m great and yourself?”

“Besides the stupid homework which I had trouble doing, I’m great too.”

Gears started to move in Jongin’s head as he thought of a way to get close to her. “If you’re having trouble with the assignments, I can help tutor you, if you want.”

“I think that would be a great idea.” She smiled, to which he returned. Jongin moved to get his materials ready for class when Jihae spotted something on his person. “I’m sorry for intruding but what’s that around your neck?”

He looked down at the collar with your key on it that he had to wear every day. He tried his best to hide it under his shirt and out of view. “Oh, that’s nothing.”

“It kinda reminds me of a collar for pets.” She giggled. “I hope you didn’t steal that from your dog.”

It was then that Jongin’s stomach dropped at her words. If Jihae continued to question him then she might figure out what the choker actually meant and he didn’t want that. He didn’t want her finding out about the dark side of his life with you. And for some reason, for the first time, he felt ashamed to wear it. He made quick work of the collar, taking it off and hiding it in his backpack. 

“It’s not like that.” He stated nervously.

Jongin was grateful when she completely abandoned the topic and moved to something else to talk about. She wouldn’t have understood if he told her the truth. Nobody would understand why he had that agreement with you. Which was why nobody would ever find out.

Time had gradually passed and days turned into weeks, which soon turned into a full month. Jongin was now hanging out with Jihae regularly and their friendship had blossomed into something beautiful that either one were too shy to ask about. It started back when he use to tutor her. Instead of doing work, the time was spent joking around and getting to know each other. Jongin figured that Jihae never really needed help but just said it to try to get closer to him. Realizing this, he made the next move and gave her his number. Jihae was happy about this, although she tried to hide it. She really like him but thought he didn’t feel the same way. She had heard about the very talented dancer around campus and wondered who he was. It wasn’t until one day during class, she found out the guy she was dying to meet was sitting just a couple feet away. She would watch him every class period, seeing how he answered questions, did his work, and interacted with fellow classmates. Jihae made a plan to get closer to him and she did. From then, the pair hung out around campus or went to a local cafe to chat.

Jongin was still seeing you on the weekends which made him a bit weary. He was nervous about you finding out that he was spending time with another woman beside you. Of course Jihae began to wonder where he was spending his weekends and why was he so busy around that time. Jongin would always lie and tell her that he left to spend time with family.

He felt torn with himself. He felt awful lying to Jihae like that. It was more than obvious that his feelings had grown and he wanted more than just friendship from her. And then there was you. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to let you go either but he knew this contract between the two of you was very limited. It didn’t allow him to get to know you like he wanted to and didn’t know if you would even want him to. Jongin didn’t even know your last name or what company you worked for. Although he wanted to know you on a personal level, he couldn’t and it bothered him. On one Friday evening, he made up his mind to tell you that he was ending the agreement. He liked Jihae and wanted to pursue a relationship with her instead.

Jongin abs tightened as he groaned in pleasure. The gag ball in his mouth muffled all of cries and requests. You had him strapped down to your dining room table, watching as the Venus 2000 machine pumped his swollen cock. You counted two times that he had already cum and each time made you even wetter. His moans were turning you on big time that you couldn’t control yourself. You pulled up a chair and positioned yourself right in front of his view so he could see what you planned on doing.

You held up a flesh colored dildo, a dildo that you had casted from his wonderful girth. Jongin watched as you took the rubber toy into your mouth, sucking on it while your eyes locked with his. He couldn’t take it anymore and came a third time. It was as if your mouth was over his member. His body fell against the hard table top in exhaustion but the machine remained hard at work pumping his cock until he was fully hard again. Jongin let out a few whimpers which made your stomach tightened with excitement.

“You’re doing so good, pet. Your sweet moans are turning me on.” You groaned, rubbing the dildo against your pussy lips. “Mmm I’m so wet right now, I’m sure my pussy could take both you and this toy at the same time.” You slightly giggled. “You have me so horny for you, Jongin. Watching you now, I’m growing quite jealous of that machine. I just want to take that shit off of you and replace it with my warm wet walls. Would you like that? Would you like my pussy to milk your cock instead?”

You watched as he shook his head from side to side, groaning into the black ball as he came a fourth time. Listening to his deep grunts made you anxious and you could no longer control yourself. You slid the dildo inside which caused you to moan out loud and throw your head back. Jongin watched you as your hand began to pump the toy in and out of your cunt. If he listened closely, he could almost hear the wet sloshing noises both you and the toy made. He almost lost it when you propped your legs up on the table so he could get a better view. His eyes studied your movements and it wasn’t long before your hands were moving as fast as the machine. Your other hand came down to rub your clit. 

“Shit, Jongin! You feel so good!” You cried out. “I was right to use your cock to make this dildo. It feels like you are fucking me right now. And I…” 

You couldn’t even finish your sentence because your orgasm had suddenly hit you like a tidal wave. Your body trembled and your muscles tightened around the silicone. Jongin, who was still watching, had ended up coming again due to your reaction and dirty talk. He groaned in pain as the machine worked him until he was hard again. His eyes pleaded with you to take it off but you were lost in your own world. Your eyes were shut and you listened to every sound he and his body release. Within minutes, you had worked yourself up and were on the brink of another orgasm but the toy weren’t enough. You needed the real thing. 

You removed the dildo and launched at Jongin. You snatched the machine off his cock, placing it in the chair you were just sitting in. Climbing up on the table, you straddled his waist and slowly eased down on his cock. You both moaned out; you, at the fullness and thickness of his shaft and he, at the grip your walls held on him.

“Oh my god, pet. You feel so good. Just sitting on this pretty cock is making me excited.” You moaned with your head back.

You began to rock your hips, creating a steady rhythm. All the muscles in Jongin’s body tightened as he fought not to meet your movements with thrusts. He groaned loudly into the gag ball. Wanting to hear more, you leaned forward and took the restraint from his lips. Right away Jongin’s lips formed a sentence as he begged you.

“Queen, please. Please! Let me pleasure you and give your body what it needs! Please allow me to help get you off with my body!” He pleaded and you agreed, wanting nothing more but to cum together.

You nodded as you continued to moan out. “Yes, pet. Move your hips. Fuck my dirty pussy and claim it as yours.”

Jongin didn’t need to hear anything else. He found a comfortable position, although his legs were tied, and he pounded into you with everything he had. Right away you could feel the eagerness behind his actions. You placed your hand on his chest and lifted your hips to feel more. The room filled with two sets of moans, his and yours. Your reach down and rubbed your clit. Jongin’s head fell back against the table at the sudden tightness around his cock.

“Y/n! You feel so good! I’m about to cum.”

He was seconds away from cumming until you slammed your hips down on his to hold him in place. You leaned forward and held down both on his wrist that were already secured to the table legs. When Jongin opened his eyes, he found you staring down at him, your eyes filled with fury. Your face was just inches away from his.

“I don’t remember giving you permission to say my name, Jongin.” You started angrily. He thought back to when he slipped up. He didn’t meant to say your first name, he was just caught up in the moment that he just said what came to mind. And what was on his mind was how beautiful you looked taking his cock. “What is Rule Seven, pet.”

Jongin tried to focus on what you had asked him but he was having difficulty. You stopped him from cumming but he could still feel your pussy contracting around him. When your hand squeezed his wrists, he remembered you were waiting on his answer.

“That I… in your home, I call you ‘Queen’…”

“And what did you call me?”

“…Y/n” he groaned feeling the buildup in his nut sac. “I’m deeply sorry, Queen. I was out of line. I was too excited that I disobeyed a rule. Please forgive me.” He was willing to say anything to relieve that pressure but you seemed unmoved by his apologetic words.

“So now that you’ve disobeyed, do you think you’ve deserve to cum?” Jongin’s eyes instantly met yours in a quiet stare. You could see him begging for release yet he was too nervous to say it. You’ve decided to give in just because you wanted to cum as badly as he did. “I will control the pace from now on since you can’t control your mouth while you do it.”

Your hips started to move again, gradually picking up speed until you both neared your peak. You watched as Jongin once again got caught up in the feeling. He shut his eyes and fought all of his urges. His lips parted and he began to unleash those deep moans that you loved so much. You close your eyes and allowed his sweet voice to take you to a state of euphoria. 

“Shit, pet… I want to be mad and punish you, but your cock feels so good inside me that I sometimes I just want to use your body to get off. I dream about you using my body as your personal rag doll. I think about you all the time at work. If you were there, I’d have you lick my dirty pussy under my desk then fuck you with the blinds wide open.”

Jongin tried to hold back but your dirty talk as well as the way you fucked him, made his balls pulsate. He let out a gut wrenching moan that made your orgasm come crashing down. You collapse on top of him, trying to catch your breath. You placed kisses over his sweaty chest up to his lips before you got up to untie him. Jongin was quiet as he stood to his feet. He didn’t know how to bring up the topic yet it still had to be said. He needed to come clean.

“Queen?” 

You picked up the machine and examined it. “Venus has gathered so much of your cum already. I wonder what we can do with it.”

The mention of cum play made Jongin’s cock twitch but he tried to remain focus. This was serious. “Queen, there was something I wanted to discuss with you.”

You turned to face him after hearing a faint stern tone in his voice. When you lock eyes, he held your stare which let you know that this talk was important. “What is it, pet?”

Having your complete attention made Jongin a bit nervous. He wasn’t sure how you would take the news but you stated multiple times that if he wanted to leave, he was free to do so. “I want to start by saying that I am grateful for this opportunity. You’ve opened my mind to a new world and I’m happy to play that role in your life but I… I think it’s time that we both move on-“

“Don’t sugarcoat it on my behalf. I’m a big girl; I can take whatever this is you are telling me.” You stated growing irritated. A part of you figured what he was struggling to say already and if you had to be honest, you were a bit hurt. 

“I don’t think I’m fit to be your pet anymore and I’m ready to end this.”

You remained quiet, taking in what was just said. Jongin swallowed hard, waiting on you to say something… anything. You slowly nodded your head. “I know it’s none of my business but why did you change your mind?”

Jongin sighed. This was the time to lay everything out on the table, especially since you weren’t going to be a part of his life anymore. He needed to be completely honest with you and make a clean break. “There is a girl that I am interested in. I want to be with her romantically and I don’t want to burden her with this agreement that we have. Nor do I want to break any of your rules and have you resent me which is why I’m coming to you now.”

“I understand.” You said softly and held out your hand. “Well, you know what is expected of you.”

Jongin knew what you meant. He reached behind his neck and unsnapped the collar.  The moment it came undone, he felt a pull at his heart. A certain feeling that he couldn’t explain or simply that he chose to ignore it. He walked over to you and placed the choker in your hand. Neither one of you said anything at that moment and Jongin thought it would be best if he left you alone. He dressed in silence as you stood in the same position, your eyes empty as your mind took you elsewhere.

“Thank you for the experience, y/n. I’ll never forget it or forget you. Goodbye.”

The last words he spoke to you before leaving your house and your life. You pulled your hand to your body, clutching the collar to your chest. You fell to the hardwood floor, sitting there naked and all alone.

Throughout the next couple days, Jongin focus all his attention on Jihae and tried to shut out all the moments you both shared together. He would show up to her dorm room with flowers or snacks, asking if she was busy. Jihae was never too busy to spend time with him. Whenever he called, she always willing to hang out with him.

“You know, Jihae, we’ve been spending a lot of time together and I thought maybe we should take the next step and make it official.” Jongin stated. Jihae’s eyes lit up like a kid in a toy store. She had been waiting on him to make a move and finally he did.

“Yes, I agree. I would love to be your girlfriend, Kai.”

He smiled, leaning forward and she did the same as their lips locked together for their first kiss. The moment it happened, Jongin felt the fireworks go off. This was the girl for him and he realized he had made the right choice.

Over the next three weeks, life for Jongin had seemed to fall into place. He maintained a perfect 4.0 gpa, his dance showcase was approaching so he was practicing to ‘wow’ the crowd, he was hanging out with his friends regularly, and he spent majority of his time with Jihae. They did things like normal couple would do and occasionally had date night. When the time came for the couple to have their first sexual experience, Jongin was ecstatic. He couldn’t wait to show Jihae all the sexual play he learned with you.

They were back at her dorm, cuddled up watching a movie. Jongin had his arms wrapped around her waist as she sat between his legs. His hands slowly came down to rest on her thighs. Jihae, who felt as though she waited long enough for sex, placed her hand on top of his and moved it so his hand now rested on her covered pussy. Getting the hint, Jongin slipped his hand inside both her pants and panties and slowly massaged over her lips, gathering her wetness and rubbing on her clit. He wanted to savor this moment and take things really slow. He wanted to show her how good he could make her feel. Jihae, on the other hand, eagerly ground her ass back against his bulge, yearning to feel more. She moaned out loud to the simple touches he gave her pussy. Jongin was thrown off at first because he hadn’t even begun finger fucking her yet she was moaning as though he had his dick inside her.

“Shit, baby. I’m so horny. I want you to fuck me.” She cried out.

Choosing to ignore her impatient behavior, Jongin still gave her what she wanted and undressed the both of them. Jihae lied on her back under him with her legs spread, waiting for Jongin to give her body what she deserved. He could hear your voice in the back of his head, “first me, then you”. He thought the same rule applied to Jihae. If he fucked her how she wanted, then she would return the favor and take care of him as well.

When he entered her pussy, her walls hugged him tightly and for a second he feared that he had just deflowered her. But Jihae assured him that she wasn’t a virgin and how it’s been awhile since her last sexual encounter. Jongin kept that in mind as he slowly started to buck his hips, watching as her breast bounced with each thrust. Jihae wrapped her legs around him to embrace herself. Never had she been fuck so royally but either way, she loved it. Jihae moaned uncontrollably, especially when Jongin picked up speed and fucked her into the mattress. She couldn’t help herself and came all over his cock. Jongin felt her cum and thought she would help him release as well but she didn’t. Jihae became unresponsive and laid there while Jongin continued to fuck her. She didn’t rotate her hips to meet his thrust or rub her clit to increase the feeling for him. She just laid still waiting on him to finish and when he did, she had him cum on her bed instead of on her body. She pulled him into the fetal position and snuggled against him, quickly falling asleep. Jongin stayed awake, staring off into the TV lit room letting his thoughts eat away at him. He was highly disappointed with what happened and hoped that the next time they had sex, it would be more exhilarating.

But much to his disappointment, every time he had sex with Jihae, it was boring and lacked reciprocity. She didn’t want to do anything else once he got her rocks off and just like the first time, she would lied still allowing him to use her body but wouldn’t help increase his pleasure. Jongin found her selfishness a turn off and frustrating, causing him to finish off in the bathroom watching an uninteresting porno. He even tried to communicate his needs to her and each time Jihae would promise to take care of him, only to fall short every time. 

As time went on, Jongin avoided having sex with Jihae, becoming even more sexually frustrated. He tried to focus on the positive side of their relationship but even that was starting to suffer. He never noticed until now, how demanding, selfish, and needy she was. She wanted majority, if not, all his time to be spent with her, she didn’t like his friends, and Jongin also didn’t fail to realize how she would flaunt the relationship to others. It was starting to become a nightmare. 

You sat at the bar, swallowing your drink in big gulps. You’ve rather been anywhere than at this party your coworker invited you to. Feeling suffocated at home, you only agreed to come was because you hated the idea of being one of those miserable people trapped at home, blaming the world for their problems. You dressed accordingly and showed up to socialize but after an hour of being there, you were ready to scream. The guys were stuck up, throwing it anybody’s face that asked, how successful they were. What they owned and how much it cost. What investments they had and how no one could compare. The women were just as bad. Stroking the guy’s already big ego, allowing themselves to be satisfied as the lady on their arm for the night or the woman who got to bed a rich man. It was sickening. Never would you have ever mingled with such a group of tasteless people.

You swallowed down the rest of your drink and stood to leave until you heard a deep voice call your name.

“Y/n?” You turned to the sound only to find it was your ex-boyfriend, Kim Seejung. He smiled brightly when he realized it was you. “How are you?”

“I’m doing good and yourself?” You smiled genuinely. It was refreshing to see a familiar face at the party.

“I’m good. The same since we last spoke.” You nodded still gathering your things to go. “You’re not leaving, are you? I thought you might want to stay, have a few drinks and catch up.”

“I think I’ve stayed long enough.” You stated dryly which cause Seejung to chuckle. You were still the same headstrong woman that he remembered. Always doing things your way.

“How about I take you out for drinks and we can discuss life privately.”

You thought it over and agreed. You weren’t ready to be alone at your house, not just yet. The two of you wound up at a local bar, seated in a booth. Seejung stared at you at you from across the table. You could feel his eyes boring a hole into you but decided not to look up and meet them.

“So how have life been treating you, y/n?”

“Life has been life but I can’t complain.”

“Are you still dating that kid?”

Finally you looked up at him. That kid he was referring to was none other than Jongin. You wouldn’t call it a date but a night out on the town where the two of you took in each other’s company. You both were out at dinner and you were in the middle of giving Jongin a footjob when Seejung approached the table. He stuck his chest out demanding to know who Jongin was to you as if you two were still in a relationship. It was obvious that Seejung had been drinking due to his erratic behavior. He caused a scene at the restaurant demanding that Jongin come fight him. You were beyond annoyed that night. When you got home, you dropped to your knees immediately and sucked Jongin’s dick until he couldn’t take anymore as a way to make up for what happened that evening. You were furious at Seejung to behaving towards you that way, especially since it was him that ended the relationship because he wanted to ‘see other people’. In fact, you were broken at the news because at the time, the two of you were engaged. So now that Jongin left you in that same fashion, you couldn’t help but feel bitter towards both men. Out of all the submissives you had, Jongin was the only one that left you for another woman. It felt like déjà vu but now that it was over, you had no choice but to move on with your life.

“No, I’m not seeing him anymore.” You stated taking a swallow of your martini.

Seejung took a sip of his drink before clearing his throat. “That’s good. From his appearance, I knew he wouldn’t be able to satisfy a woman like you. Your sexual appetite is too strong for a baby like him.”

“And how would you know?”

“Come on, y/n, he looks like he couldn’t even fuck a virgin properly. It’s a joke.”

You watched as he chuckled to himself before taking another sip of his drink. Seejung seemed pretty content with himself after making those claims; however, it was time to knock him down a few notches.

“Would it surprise you if I told that ‘baby’ was a very obedient sub and did whatever I asked? And though he was a sub, he knew how to please my body just right. He always knew how to show a gal a good time, each time.” You spoke honestly. Seejung froze, holding his glass up to his lips. He saw the look in your eyes and knew you meant every word you said. He lowered his drink, staring back at you with the same dark authoritative glare. 

“The reason why you allowed a kid to think he is fully satisfying you is because you are weak. You don’t need a sub, sweetheart. You need a dom. You need someone to shut that smart mouth of yours. To spank your bratty ass when you misbehave.”

As Seejung said these words, he had gotten up from his side of the booth slide in next to you, slowly trapping you inside. His face was now inches away from yours and you had to admit, he had your heart beating faster than before. But you weren’t sure, if you wanted to get involved with your ex. You would be taking a big step backwards.

You put your hands on his chest and push him away. “Sorry, Seejung, but I’m happy with my subby play toys and you aren’t that. I need someone to add on to my power, not hinder it. But I guess I don’t mind them to be a little dominant sometimes.”

“Well I’m here to tell you, baby, I’m a changed man. I’m willing to be that switch that you need.”

You laughed. “Oh Seejung, you’re not a sub. You don’t have it in your blood.”

He was quiet for a moment, watching as you calmed down your giggles with a sip of your drink. “Well, why don’t you teach me how to be a good sub as dominant as you are. I’m sure you like the challenge, or are you afraid I will blow your mind and surpass ‘baby boy’?”

A smile spread on your lips. Seejung always had a way with words, you couldn’t deny that. Teaching him how to be a sub to your needs… you liked the sound of that. You both tapped the glasses together, cheering and toasting the idea. Jongin watched from the window at the exchange of affection between you and your ex-boyfriend. He couldn’t help the jealousy that race through his blood. That should be him sitting next to you, making you smile and hearing how good he’s been to you. It was then that Jongin realized that he made a big mistake.

Jongin paced back and forth in his room in deep thought. A couple weeks had passed since he had last seen you with your ex-boyfriend and that scene ate away at him from that day on. He was becoming miserable without you and wondered if you even care. You were really happy without him? Didn’t you miss him at all?

He had broken up with Jihae a couple days after he saw you. He told her that he wanted to focus on his showcase performance and ask her if they can still remain friends. Of course Jihae took it hard, blaming herself for the break up. She would randomly pop up wherever he was and began to cry and cause a scene. Jongin always ignored her though, walking away and leaving her to wallow in her misery.

What he needed was a plan to get you back. He needed you back. He felt weak without you in his life. And he didn’t care if you were with your ex-boyfriend. He would get you back and prove he was better. A better choice, a better lover, a better submissive. 

Unable to take anymore, Jongin went to your house that night and knocked hard on your door. He waited a minute before knocking again. Finally after a minute or so, you opened your door dressed in nothing but a silk robe. He could see your hard nipples pressing against the fabric which made his cock stir in his pants. Jongin needed to be serious because the look on your face told him that he had a minute to talk before you shut the door in his face. Getting right to the matter, he began to talking.

“Y/n, I know you don’t want to see me and you have every right to throw me off your porch but I needed to see you. I’m an idiot. The biggest fool in the world for letting what we had go. I was being selfish for thinking I could find happiness elsewhere and not being content with what you gave me. I wasn’t thinking about you and how you felt after I left and I’m sorry. It wasn’t until I was about to have sex with her that I began to think of you and all of what you taught me. To be completely honest with you, y/n, I can’t stop thinking of you which is why I’m here now. I promise if you take me back as your sub then I will work twice as hard to win you over and make you trust me again.”

It was quiet between the two of you. A part of you wanted to go inside and slam the door in his face but you had a feeling that Jongin still wouldn’t leave. And since it was early in the morning, the last thing you needed was your neighbors to call the police to a crazy man knock on your door. You sighed, rolling your eyes before they settled on him. Jongin looked like he was going to have a breakdown if you didn’t accept and that thought made you smile. He needed to atone for his actions. Deep down, he had broken your heart when he suddenly decided to leave. You had grown to love and care for him that you thought about wanting to be with him more than just the title of ‘master and slave’. If you were honest with yourself, you missed him too and seeing him stand in front of you asking to come back, took your breath away. But now it the choice was up to you. Take him back or let him go for good?

“If you really want to earn the title of my submissive again, you’ve got a lot of ass kissing to do, pet.” Hearing his old name almost brought tears to his eyes. Jongin was grateful that you were considering letting him earn it. He was willing to do whatever you said.

“Yes, Queen. I’ll do whatever you want.”

“Get on your knees and beg me for forgiveness then maybe I’ll invite you in.”

Jongin did just that. He dropped down to his knees, groveling at your feet. Begging and pleading with you to forgive for being stupid. After five minutes, you grabbed his hair, lifting his face to stare at you.

“The only reason why I’m giving you a second chance is because you came to me first instead of breaking my rule.” You released him then turned around to walk inside. “Now get in here before I change my mind.”

Jongin quickly stood to his feet and scurried inside your house. Judging by how you were dress, he assumed you had company over, probably your crazy ex-boyfriend. But he didn’t see anything and he didn’t want to make you mad asking about the relationship between you and him. You led him to the living room and turned to face him with your arms crossed. Jongin remained quiet, not sure what you wanted him to do.

“To make up for breaking our contract, don’t you think you should be on your knees making me cum over your disobedient mouth?” You stated. 

He nodded his head. “Yes, Queen.”

“Then why aren’t you doing it?”

Once again, Jongin dropped to his knees and crawled over to you because figured that was what you wanted him to do. He slowly kissed up your leg until he reached the end of your very short robe. He reached up to move it out the way but you smacked his hand away. Getting the idea, Jongin massaged your thighs with both hands as his head moved under the material. His lips found your clit and gave it a light peck before his tongue came out to swipe across your lips. Spreading your legs so he could eat you properly, Jongin’s mouth latched on to your lower lips, sucking them into his mouth. His tongue slowly slid up and down the inside of your lips, tasting your arousal as it gathered on his taste buds. His tongue moved further down to tease your entrance before coming back up to play with your clit. All the while, you watch his head move under your housecoat. It was a very erotic scene which only turned you in more. Your hips began to grind on his face to match the movements of his small pink muscle. You untied your robe and slid it off your shoulders and down to the floor. Finally you could see him and what he was doing. The moment the piece of clothing was removed, his eyes locked with your. Jongin wanted to make sure you were watching him. He wanted to capture every reaction you made and store it in his memory. Feeling you shift, he thought it was time to increase his pace and roughly began licking the inside of your pussy before straightening his tongue and fucking you with it. Your head fell back and both of your hands gripped his hair pulling his face closer. 

“Shit, Jongin. You are an excellent pussyeater. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.” You moaned. “You’ve just started and already I want to come.”

Hearing your small praise made his ears perk up and had the blood rushing to his penis. He began to eat your pussy earnestly, loving how your juices were now rolling down his chin and neck. He gathered some of it on his fingers and used two fingers to enter you. You must of loved what he had done because your body was now fighting to get away. Your voice rose and your grip on his scalp tightened until you suddenly froze in place. Your body had remained still as he felt your walls give his fingers a death grip. Jongin slowly gave your pussy long kitty licks, helping you ride out your orgasm until you completely calmed down.

“Fuck, I needed that.” You mumbled to yourself but Jongin still managed to hear you. 

You grabbed his shirt and pulled him to his feet. Holding his face with both hands, you had begun the task of cleaning him off. Your tongue glided along his smooth tanned skin, tasting all of what he just had. Your tongue moved from his lips, to his chin, then down to his neck.

You fell to your knees and unbuckled his belt followed by his pants. You roughly pulled them down along with his boxers until they pooled at his ankles. Your mouth water as you came face to face with his thick girth. Bringing your tongue out, you slowly licked a trail on the underside of his cock from the base to the tip. The moment your lips came in contact with the head, you wasted no time wrapping your mouth around his shafted. Your head bobbed back and forth in a quickened pace. Your cheek caved in as you sucked his cock deeper into your mouth. Jongin groaned at your treatment. He was in ecstasy, getting lost in the feeling your mouth created around him. You watched Jongin try to fight off his impending orgasm with pleasure lights going off in your mind. You needed to get him where you wanted, which was right on the brink of cumming. His fingers folded into fists as he caught the urge to touch you. He needed to show you that he could be the best sub that you remembered. Jongin’s legs nearly gave out when your hand came up to squeeze and massage his balls. He let out a slight choke which was music to your ears. You could feel his testicles harden in your palm and knew this was it. The moment you waited for. You quickly removed your mouth and hand from his person, declining his orgasm. Jongin eyes shot open as he looked at you with unreadable expression but you knew what it meant. 

“Test number one, pet. Survive the night with a hard cock. If your balls haven’t been empty when the morning comes, then I will ride you until you cum, understand?”

Jongin swallowed hard, wondering how the hell was he going to last when his mind and body was aching for release. He agreed nonetheless and was soon staring off into the dark room as he slept on the couch. You had retreated into your bedroom and closed the door. Jongin lied on his back since his genitals were too sore to lie on his side or stomach. The buildup was already too much for him to bear but he tried to ignore it and focus on sleep. His eyes were only closed for five minutes when a particular sound hit his ears. It was your voice. Specifically your moans coming from inside the bedroom.

At first, Jongin thought someone else was with but he didn’t hear anyone else, just you. He listened closely and soon heard a buzzing noise followed by the chants of his name, his real name and not ‘pet’. He covered his ears and tried to focus on going back to sleep and not your beautiful voice tempting him. Upon further inspection, Jongin realized that his boxer were already wet. He lifted the blanket, only to find precum leaking from the head of his cock and it would not stop. He’d never seen his penis look so angry and red before and it was all because of you. Your voice continued to escalate and Jongin had no choice but to cover his head with the pillow. He needed to shut you out and without realizing it, he fell off to sleep shortly after.

In his dream state, it was just you. You were naked, slowly dancing to no music. You seductively moved your hands over your body, stopping to play with your breasts and your pussy. You brought your fingers up to show him how wet you already were. You continued to dance until you now stood in front of him. And just like before he fell asleep, you were on your knees teasing his cock before you sucked it. You stared up at him, never once breaking eye contact. The moment you took him in your mouth, Jongin let out a cry of pleasure. You felt so good that he couldn’t hold back his moans. The strangest thing about this dream was that he could hear you voice loud and clear, spewing out nothing but dirty talk but your mouth was enclosed around his cock. Realizing something wasn’t right, Jongin leaped from his dream, throwing the pillow off his face only to find his cock stuffed deep inside your pussy. When you finally saw that he was awake, your hips began to move and ride his cock.

“It’s about time you woke up, pet. I thought for a second, I would have to give you your prize while you slept. But I know you would have resented me afterwards and I didn’t want that.” You teased, moving your hips faster. “I wanted your eyes and attention on me. I want to stare into that gorgeous face as I cum all over this cock. Will you grant me that wish, Jongin? Can I cum all over you? Will you let me?”

Jongin was too caught up in pleasure to answer but you didn’t mind. You didn’t mind one bit. It turned you on to find him lost for words, unable to form a sentence. He didn’t know what he found hotter, you sitting on his dick whispering dirty words into his ear until he woke up or how you begged and asked him to let you cum as if he was the one in control. Either way, his mind didn’t allow him to focus on that subject for too long because he was being pulled back to you and your actions. Jongin’s body began to move on its own accord. His hands gripped your hips and his very own thrust into yours. You also became lost in the feeling, leaning forward to rest your hands on his chest. You threw your head back, moaning out as you came. All your senses heighten and everything became too much for you. Your arms gave way and you collapsed. Your upper body fell right into Jongin’s waiting arms. He continued to pump his clock into your slippery walls until he followed your lead, flooding your walls with his cum.

You both lay still, trying to catch yours breaths and calm your racing hearts. Jongin held you tightly, loving how everything felt right. Even if it wasn’t true, it felt as though you both were a couple. The thought made him smile and he hoped he wasn’t too out of line by slowly running his hand up and down your back in a comfort motion. Jongin couldn’t see it but a smile had appeared on your face as well. You were happy to have him here with you.

“Can I ask you something, Queen?” You heard his deep voice rumble and answered by nodding your head. ”Are you still seeing your ex-boyfriend? I saw you both together one night. I’m sorry if I’m being intrusive.”

You finally lifted your head to look at him. “Let me just say that he was never fit to be a sub and he found that out on the same night.” Jongin just nodded his head and laid it back against the couch but you called to him again. This time when he raised it again, your face was an inch away. “If you walk out on me again, Jongin, not only I will never let you back into my life and as my pet, but I will never speak to you again.”

He smiled, leaning forward to kiss your lips like he wanted to do the day he agreed to be your sub. “I promise to never leave your side. You are my Queen, only mine and I’m never letting you go.”

~

©2017 Silhouetted_Beauty

[bluehoodiewoozi]

Lies and Butterflies

Joshua Hong x Fem!Reader

Genre: fake dating au; mostly fluff.

Word Count: 19.2k

Warnings: injuries & blood (injury is not explicitly described). joking death threats made between friends. mentions of drinking and alcoholic beverages. lying to parental figures. reader is written as single and desperate and moderately unwise (she’s actually me).

[Series: Serenity Street 17] Your roommate begged you to pretend to date him while his mom is in town for the month. The little crush you’ve had on him will either become your best friend or worst obstacle on this quest.

note: the fact that this fic came out as longer than my master's degree thesis will never not amaze me.

Your friends thought you were a naive fool for moving into Serenity Street 17, apartment 3A. Not because the neighbourhood or building was bad (if anything, they often commented about how cosy it was), but because you signed the rental agreement knowing full well you’d be sharing an apartment with a man you didn’t know. 

In your defence, you’d been hesitant to do so. However, after several reassuring comments from the building manager about how your roommate would be a perfectly sweet young gentleman (but mostly the influence of the looming end of your old rental agreement with a remaining budget from hell), you had done the insane thing and signed the agreement.

Fortunately, Joshua Hong, your new roommate, seemed like a true angel at first sight – both visually and metaphorically. Upon your arrival, he’d spent the entire weekend helping you move the heavy boxes and unbox everything (all the while you were trying your hardest to not feel weak at the sight of his gorgeous face and straining biceps). He assured you repeatedly that he’d do the dishes and cook for himself. He sent you off to work every morning with a sweet smile, a wave and a thermos full of hot coffee to start your day. 

You’d quickly learn why the neighbourhood aunties called him “Serenity Street’s gentleman”. And at first you thought he truly deserved the title.

That is until you had lived with him for a month and realised he was the dictionary definition of unpredictable. Sure, he wasn’t completely insane and most of the time he was truly the perfect roommate (as well as eye candy), but the moments when he did unleash his inner demons? Even now, many months later, you were still trying to decide if that side of him amused or scared you.

It was to the point where you and Chan, your neighbour from across the hall, had started keeping a shared list of Joshua’s wildest moments (a tradition which several of your other friends in the building soon joined). 

For one, there was the time when he decided to perform EXO’s ‘Love Shot’ with a truly unhinged choreography at the building’s monthly drunk karaoke night. The kicker? He didn’t start drinking until after the cover (probably to bury the shame he felt). 

Or the time when he mistakenly watered a fake plant for weeks and then, upon realising his mistake, proceeded to gaslight himself and everyone you knew that it had at one point been a real plant and someone must have snuck into the apartment to replace it with an identical fake one (you didn’t have the heart to tell him that he was fooling no one (but Minghao had been more than happy to share the news with him for you )).

There was also, of course, the time when he had a life-sized cardboard cut-out of himself made to decorate the living room and you couldn’t have reminded him enough of how terrifying of a sight it had been at 4 am on your way to the bathroom. To his credit, he moved the cut-out behind Jeonghan’s apartment door a week later to terrify him instead. Jeonghan has since sworn he’d get back at your roommate for it one day (and you dearly hoped he would).

Needless to say, your roommate had you living on the edge of your seat at all times. So it didn’t surprise you much when he knocked on your bedroom door at 11 pm before walking in and throwing himself head-first onto your bed.

Used to his shenanigans but well-aware of his need for attention, you just sighed and lowered the book you had spent all day looking forward to. “What’s up?”

His response was unintelligible, muffled against the sage green sheets. 

You waited a moment for him to lift his head. Nothing happened. For a moment you wondered if he’d fallen asleep. So you nudged him with your foot. “Shua?”

With a groan, he leaned upwards, resting on his elbows as he stared ahead and told you, “Do you think I’m too single?”

Amused and confused by the question, you blinked rapidly. “Is that even a thing? I think all single people are equally single, no?”

“I haven’t dated anyone in five years,” he told you.

“And?”

“I haven’t gone on a date in three.”

“So?”

“My mom thinks that’s too long.”

You took mild offence to that as you had been left out on the dry shores of Singleness for well over a decade – if your three-day middle-school playground marriage even counted towards this statistic, that is. If Joshua had been single for too long by his mom’s standards, then you surely must have seemed like a completely hopeless case. 

You shook the thought off and tried to seem like a supportive friend (even though your mind and soul were already lost in faraway lands, riding horses with dreamy fictional men that oddly looked like Joshua). “Why does that matter?”

“Because,” he started as if you should know this already, “she wants me to go on a blind date with her friend’s daughter. She wants to discuss it tomorrow over lunch.”

Was it too soon to tell him you sometimes daydreamed of your mom appearing at the door with a handsome young man and demanding you to go on a date with him? Maybe. Was that too desperate? Probably.

“You’re an adult man, Shua,” you told him with a scoff. “Just say no.”

“I can’t say that to my mom!”

“Why not? Because she’d be disappointed and sad?” you guessed, eyeing him with annoyance. 

He widened his eyes and all you saw in his brown irises was pure terror mixed with just a hint of frustration. “She’d lecture me!”

“Oh no,” you didn’t even try to feign any kind of an emotion before lifting your book back to your eye level, eager to get back to your reading where men didn’t trouble you with their mommy issues. “Your mom’s nice. You’ll live.”

“You could try to be more empathetic, you know,” he remarked before resting his cheek on the mattress and sighing. “What are you reading anyway? Another one of your historical romances?”

“And what if it is?” you asked.

“My mom would tell you to get off your ass and get an actual boyfriend.”

“Good thing she’s not my mom then. Men are disappointing and I only like the ones written by women.”

Joshua’s eyes narrowed. “Are you calling me a disappointment right now?”

There were many words you could use to describe Joshua, but a disappointment? – not one of them. Really, the only disappointing thing about the man in front of you was that he thought your valiant flirting attempts over the past six months had been a funny joke. Even if you thought he could be incredibly frustrating, you were not immune to his charms, and everyone but him seemed to know.

Still, if there was anything you liked more than being the sole object of Joshua’s attention, it was getting on his nerves as much as he did yours.

“Absolutely,” you told him with a straight face but your facade fell fast at his offended grimace. You couldn’t help but laugh. “Of course you’re not a disappointment. I actually like you.”

Would he pick up the hint (and was it even a hint if you were practically confessing your feelings?) … ?

“I hate you,” he mumbled and buried his face back in the sheets.

… No. The answer was no.

Aside from his wild shenanigans, another thing that frustrated you about your roommate to no end was the fact that he. never. read. his. messages. And yet, when he messaged you, he expected an answer ASAP. 

And if you didn’t reply within 2 minutes … ?

Your phone vibrated and rang, his contact photo bright and colourful on your phone screen. You could barely keep back from cursing under your breath before offering your co-workers an apologetic smile and rushing out to the breakroom to answer the call. 

You took a deep calming breath before putting on your best customer service-able smile and speaking into the microphone, “What’s up?”

“Where are you?” came the short reply. Was it just you or did he sound winded? 

As if he could see you through the radio waves, you theatrically glanced around the building before deadpanning, “At work. Like every Tuesday at 1 pm.”

 “Right,” he breathed out after a pause and suddenly you were worried. 

The Joshua you knew never hesitated to match your sarcastic remarks with ones of his own. There was rarely any bite to his words but you appreciated that he at least tried to match your energy (or maybe you had unknowingly matched his and you were fated to meet). But this? This hadn’t been a sarcastic remark.

“Are you okay?” you spoke, tone softening. “Did something happen?”

“You know how I had that lunch thing with mom today?” he asked after a sigh. 

You nodded before realising he couldn’t actually see you. “Yeah?”

“She brought up her friend’s daughter again and I panicked and–” He cut himself off with a laugh but it sounded anything but joyful. No, it sounded frustrated and disbelieving and like he was about five seconds from a mental breakdown. You found yourself holding your breath as you waited for his laughter to stop. When it did, he sighed again. “Can you come home early?”

The answer was obviously no. You couldn’t just leave your job to cater to your roommate's frenzies. You had made it a point to never ask for any unnecessary time off at all, eager to prove yourself at the office. You had only worked here for five months. Besides, you had goals and a dream and–

“Please?” he added. He sounded so soft, so fragile, so worried.

You squeezed your eyes shut and lied to yourself that your boss wouldn’t hate you if you just told him you had a horrible, perhaps borderline ER-worthy migraine and needed to go home ASAP. Or was that too risky? Would he ask for a doctor’s note? What’s the other option?

“If my boss emails you and asks if our apartment was flooded today, you tell him yes and that you almost drowned,” you finally told him, unable to believe you were about to blatantly lie to your boss, before swiping across your screen to end the call. 

“You’re home,” he breathed out when you stepped through the door half an hour later. 

You found him sitting on the living room sofa. He was still wearing his best white shirt and if it weren’t for the mess of hair on his head, he would’ve looked like he had just gotten ready to go out.

You shrugged off your jacket. “I would really like an explanation.”

“Yeah,” he sighed and rubbed his face. “Where do I start? Um… Well, my mom’s coming to stay with us for a month.”

Your jaw dropped. “A month?! Why? Did something happen to her house?”

“No,” he seemed almost pained to tell you so. With a gentle grip on your hand, he led you to sit next to him on the sofa. “You know how she was trying to set me up with her friend’s daughter?”

You nodded, raising a brow. “What about it? Was it, like, an ex or something?”

“Well, no, but,” he took a deep breath and turned to stare at the wall, eyes wide as if he was expecting something to crash as he spoke, “I might have panicked and said something bad.”

“Such as?” you urged, leaning closer.

Getting red in the face, he really looked like the words he needed had wedged themselves in his throat and were rebelling, refusing to come out. He opened and closed his mouth, trying to make even a single sound, but you still heard nothing. 

Your patience was running thinner by the second. “Joshua, I lied to my boss because of you. Spit it out or, I swear to god, I will make that lie a reality and drown you in the bathtub.”

The threat seemed to motivate him plenty. He let out a soft whine before blurting, “I told her I can’t go on a date with Mary because we’re dating.”

This man never failed to surprise, scare and worry you. And this time you were scared for the both of you. “You told her what?! We?! As in you and me?!”

“I’m sorry,” he immediately dropped to his knees in front of you, looking up at you with desperate and terrified sparkling doe eyes. “I wasn’t thinking! I didn’t want to make her feel bad and I panicked and I lied and I swear I’ll make it up to you! Whatever you want! Anything. I am so, so sorry.”

You didn’t even have the words to say. Frozen in your seat, you stared at him, trying your hardest to get your brain to reset so you could discover you simply had fallen asleep at your desk and this was all a dream. Was it a dream or was it a nightmare? You’d decide later.

When you hadn’t responded for nearly a minute, Joshua gently nudged your hand. “Hey, are you okay? I’m sorry, okay?”

But when you still remained silent without even as much as moving your eyes, he quickly added, “I’ll just fess up, yeah? I’ll tell her I panicked and lied and I’ll go on that date. Just please don’t be mad at me, okay?”

You held your hand up to stop him. “It’s fine. I just… I need a moment.”

“Yeah…” He breathed in relief before nodding and agreeing, “Yeah. Anything you want. I’ll…I can…  Do you want water? Tea? I could make cocoa.”

“Just water’s fine,” you told him almost robotically as you stared into space, rubbing your temples as if that would somehow make it easier to process the absolutely bizarre situation you had found yourself in because, no, unfortunately (or fortunately?) this was not a dream. This was your reality.

As he scurried over to the kitchen, you tried to wrap your mind around … well, everything. 

It felt like a cruel joke. All these months of pining after your handsome roommate, making him heart-shaped toast and pancakes, fixing his shirt collar as he prepared to leave for work, practically flat-out confessing to him – and here he was, practically throwing himself at you. 

But none of it was real. He wasn’t actually into you. It was just a panicked reaction. He’d just thought of the first age-appropriate woman that came to his mind – it was only you because you were roommates and spent so much time together. There were no feelings involved on his end. 

But on yours? You willed your heart to stop fluttering and pounding and threatening to beat out of your chest at the mere idea of dating Joshua Hong. 

“Here,” he spoke softly as he placed a cold glass of water into your hand and took his seat next to you. He watched for a while as you took a miniscule sip and continued staring into nothingness, lost in your thoughts. He hesitated to speak. “I really am sorry. I just wasn’t thinking straight. I was scared and–”

“I seemed like a safer option than Mary?” you finished for him, giving him a knowing look. “C’mon, is she really that bad?”

No, you’re just that much better is what you wished he’d say. Then you’d have at least something to hold onto.

Joshua offered a half-hearted smile. “Mom said Mary is really into haunted buildings and ghost hunting, so…”

Did that make you much better than her? Very debatable. But you were willing to take just about anything reminiscent of a win.

“Sounds dreadful,” you replied, matching his smile. “So what happens now?”

“Well,” he seemed hesitant all over again, as if no progress had been made at all. He quickly forced himself out of that headspace and met your eyes, “I could call my mom and tell her I lied…”

You sensed an ‘or’. Raising an eyebrow, you silently asked him to finish the thought.

He took a stuttering breath before grimacing. “Or we go on with the lie and pretend to date for a while.”

Option B is what your heart shouted. Please pick option B, even if it’s all a lie.

“A while being…?” you forced yourself to nitpick instead of immediately jumping into his arms and agreeing. 

He kissed his teeth. “A month-ish.”

“A month?!”

“Mom didn’t fully, entirely, really believe me,” Joshua supplied with an apologetic look, “so I bluffed a little and she said she’d come stay with us for a while to see it for herself and… I sort of agreed to let her stay a month.”

A month of (fake) dating Joshua Hong, your hot roommate, the very subject of your daydreams? You weren’t sure whether you wanted to scream in joy or cry in despair.

“Okay,” you breathed out and gulped. “We can– We can do a month… right?”

“Right.” He didn’t seem any more sure of than you.

“How long ‘til she comes here?”

“Two days.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

[DAY 1, FRIDAY]

Having read and watched a fair share of romantic comedies, you were adamant that there was no need for a ‘fake dating contract’. You and Joshua were roommates and good friends; surely just a verbal agreement of boundaries would suffice. You’d just tell him your boundaries and he’d tell you yours. 

In an ideal world, that is.

But in the real world, there was a knock on the door before you could even begin to whisper about the idea of boundaries.

While sharing a startled look with you, Joshua crept towards the door and peeked through peephole. 

“It’s her,” he breathed out and offered you one last grimace before opening the door. His voice went from tormented to overjoyed so fast you felt it give you a whiplash, “Mom! Hi! Let me help with your suitcase.”

Showtime (except this was not a theatre, and you didn’t have even the semblance of a script to play out, and you sucked at improv). Putting on your best smile, you stood up just as they entered the living room. 

“There she is!” his mother called out and rushed over to give you a warm hug. “Look at you! As good-looking as always!”

Your cheeks felt a little warm at that. “You look great too!”

“Oh, I know,” she joked and gave your shoulder a friendly pat. Then her friendly expression morphed into something more sinister. “So, dating, huh?”

If your cheeks had felt warm before, they were positively burning now. You tried to find your voice again, even offered a look to Joshua who could only respond with an equally nervous wide-eyed look. Finally, you cleared your throat and answered, “Yeah. We’re still kind of getting used to it ourselves.”

“I always knew you two would end up together,” she gushed, smiling ear to ear and winking at you between sentences. “Took you a while though. I was already starting to worry about my Joshua.”

“Yeah,” you heard him mumble, “me too.”

“Will you join us for dinner?” you asked her, trying to steer the topic away from the inevitable chit-chat about your almost-non-existent relationship.

She hummed in thought – a habit Joshua must have picked up from her, you realised – and nodded as she looked around the living room. “Of course. Let me just get settled in and put on more comfortable clothes. Where can I unpack?”

Your “boyfriend” and you shared a wide-eyed look. This is why you never did improv! 

“You can have my room,” Joshua finally spoke all the while still having that very same panicked expression. “I’ll get it set up real quick.”

His mother paused, confused (and was that a glint of suspicion in her eyes?). “You don’t sleep together?”

You could’ve fried an egg on your cheeks with how hot they felt. “Oh, we–”

“Like she said,” Joshua interrupted, forcing a smile that almost looked convincing, “we’re still kind of settling into this whole relationship thing. We’re taking it slow.”

“I’m glad to give you a push in the right direction,” she told him with a chuckle. “You can’t leave someone like (Y/n) just waiting. She’ll get bored of you, and then what?”

He laughed shortly. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“Like always.”

He nodded before tugging on the crook of your elbow to drag you with him. “Sweetie, why don’t you come help me set up mom’s room?”

You thanked the heavens he had enough mental capacity to not leave you alone with his mom. “Of course!”

“Help yourself to anything you want in the kitchen, yeah?” Joshua told his mom as he reached to pick up her suitcase with his free hand, his left one still holding onto you like you were his lifeline. “Coffee, tea, a snack – anything.”

She replied with a smile and continued her (no doubt thorough) tour of your apartment. 

Once you were in his room, he closed the door so that it was just a bit ajar as to not seem suspicious and turned to you with a look of terror. His whispers were so loud and harsh that you wondered if there was any point in pretending otherwise as he asked, “What do we do?”

“We clean your room and make your mom feel at home,” you suggested, not entirely sure what he was getting at.

Joshua gave you a look that said he was holding back the urge to call you dumb. “I meant us. She’s taking my bed. Where will I sleep? I can’t sleep on the sofa – she’ll figure out we’re lying.”

Oh. Yeah, that was an unwelcome problem. Mostly because the only viable solution you could think of involved Joshua sleeping in your room and you not getting any sleep because he’d be so close to you. What if you fell asleep and talked in your sleep, confessing your everlasting love? Worse!: what if you had a dirty dream about him – one involving his gorgeous biceps and soft lips and– dear god, you’d never be able to look him in the eyes again. Hell, you probably wouldn’t be able to be in the same room as him. 

Joshua stared at you in silence, expecting a solution. Before you could offer one though, he shut it down with a “I’m not sneaking out to sleep on Chan’s pull-out couch either.”

Damn it. 

“Then there’s only one solution,” you whispered back, unable to believe your own words. “We’ll have to share my room.”

“There’s no room for another mattress there.”

It’s not like either of you even knew where to find a spare mattress. But you didn’t tell him that. And the look in his eyes said you didn’t have to because he knew it just the same and that left only one solution.

“We can share my bed, but if you touch my teddy bear, I’ll make sure you go missing under mysterious circumstances,” you told him and left the room to get some clean sheets for the bed (and calm your heart).

The rest of a day went by in a daze of terrible half-believable lies that just kept elaborating at their own accord because of course she couldn’t be satisfied with just a simple answer. No, she had to ask questions to clarify, as if she was a detective trying to figure out a suspect’s background.

And so you bluffed and lied and shared panicked looks with Joshua. Your collaborations added up to a decent backstory – at least that’s what you thought because at least your lies were not completely out of the realm of reality.

Who confessed first? You both did, in a moment of drunken chaos at Seungcheol’s housewarming party (you failed to mention there was no alcohol provided at said party). 

Where was your first date? A picnic at the park not too far from your home just a few short months ago (and she didn’t need to know it was an outing with all of your neighbours – something not Joshua but Jihoon had organised to help the people in the building become closer).

What was your first kiss like? You had kissed him under the streetlights when he walked you home from work because you’d be damned if you let a man make the first move (in Joshua’s opinion, this was the most obvious lie of all but he chose not to argue because the other option was to look his mother in the eyes and tell her he’d made the first move to kiss somebody on the mouth).

The little lies added up and by the end of the day, you weren’t entirely sure where one started or another ended. Hell, you were pretty certain you wouldn’t remember most of them the next day. 

But that wasn’t the hard part – not the real hard part anyway. No, the real problem was the evernearing night. Between the improv performance of your life and the general feeling of butterflies, you hadn’t had any time to come to terms with the fact that you’d have to share a bed with your handsome, hot, absolutely amazing roommate under the guise of being his girlfriend.

And now the reality was looming.

His mother was the first to head to bed, leaving you and Joshua to stare at each other in a relieved silence across the dining table as she went about her bedtime routine. Neither you or Joshua dared to move to head to sleep next. Neither of you wanted to make the first move. 

Sensing you were faced with a similar dilemma, he finally suggested, “We could watch a movie.”

“We’ll have to go to bed eventually,” you told him with a sigh. “We can’t spend the whole night watching TV.”

His silence told you he thought otherwise. 

And you were in no mood to make the first move or argue about pillow barriers and teddy bears. So, begrudgingly, you dragged yourself over to the sofa and turned on the TV. 

He joined you soon after, two cans of soda in hand. He handed one – already opened – to you as you flipped through the movie selection.

“You know, sugar really isn’t good for you before bed,” you remarked offhandedly. “Makes it hard to fall asleep.”

He just scoffed and opened his can with a pop and a fizzle. “Good thing we’re watching a movie and not sleeping then.”

“Rom-com or action?”

“Action,” he answered a little too fast before sipping his drink as if to distract himself. 

“We could watch Transformers,” you half-joked. “It’s got a good runtime.”

“Might as well,” he sighed and made himself comfortable as you clicked on the title. 

As you pulled a cushion into your lap for optimal comfort, Joshua remained sitting far from you. It was funny, really – it seemed that he was sitting further from you as your “boyfriend” than he ever had as just your roommate. 

You wanted to blame the movie for how silent the living room had become. Only Optimus Prime’s voice sounded in the apartment, and even that was quiet to not disturb your guest’s sleep. But the reality was that something had shifted between you. You were officially stuck in an arrangement that both benefited and ruined you, and the reality was sinking in fast.

Now there was no chance to take back the lies and the faking. The only option was to keep going and keep up with your elaborate plan to trick the sweetest woman you knew, all because your roommate didn’t want to date some girl called Mary and you had agreed to be his cover because you were infatuated with him. 

How does one process this situation? Where do you go from here? Can you do this for a month without thinking too hard about it? And what happens when the month is up?

“Hey,” Joshua’s soft voice startled you from your tortured thoughts. You turned to find him watching you with a somewhat wistful smile. “You did great today, you know?”

“Whatever do you mean?” You chuckled but it sounded pained even to your own ears. “I was just being a good girlfriend.”

He snorted a laugh. “You can stop acting. I’m pretty sure she’s asleep by now. It’s okay. ”

“How do you know if she’s asleep?” you whispered, eyeing his – no, her – bedroom door. “Would suck to get caught lying on the very first night.”

Joshua’s smile looked a little more real now, almost reaching his eyes as he still watched you like you were a beloved family puppy who had learnt a new trick. “She snores pretty loud.”

Tense in your seat, still eyeing the door, you listened and waited. Before long, you discovered he was right. There it was, a soft snore accompanying Bumblebee’s action scene. Closing your eyes, you breathed out in relief and relaxed into the plush fabric of the sofa. 

“Do you think she bought it?” you wondered.

“If she didn’t, we’ll just have to work harder tomorrow,” he replied before reaching over to brush your hair off your face. 

You willed the butterflies to just go to sleep already and let you be. They remained relentless and you could only pray Joshua wouldn’t notice how flustered his touch made you feel.

“We just have to do this for another 29 days,” you said to distract yourself. “It’ll be fine.”

Did he have to keep stroking your cheek so gently? How much hair did you even have stuck on your face? Maybe you were hallucinating and he wasn’t touching you at all – that seemed almost plausible. 

“We’ll be fine,” he whispered and he sounded to be closer now. His warm breath brushed against your temple. Maybe you weren’t entirely out of your mind yet. “It’s just a month.”

“Just a month.” 

You weren’t yet sure whether you wished it would last less or more.

[DAY 2, SATURDAY]

Three things had greeted you when you woke up: the smell of fresh coffee, the brightest sun you had ever had the displeasure of waking under, and someone’s arm around your waist. You almost hadn’t cared whose arm it was because it was holding you to a warm body, safe from the evils of the morning chill.

Begrudgingly, you had eventually opened your eyes and glanced around. You had fallen asleep on the sofa instead of your bed – a work-around for last night’s problem if you’d ever seen one, even if it was horrible for your back. And the arm belonged to none other than your roommate who looked like an angel as he slept, resting his head on your shoulder… 

“And how is any of that my problem?” Chan yawned over his cup of coffee as he watched you pace around his kitchen ten minutes later. He didn’t really have any plans anyway but it’s not like he enjoyed having neighbours march into his apartment to rant about their love lives (even if it was great material for the building’s gossip group chat which he would no doubt update as soon as you’d leave).

You offered him a glare. “You’re supposed to be a supportive friend.”

“You must have me mixed up with someone,” he deadpanned and took a sip of his hot drink. “What’s so bad about waking up next to him anyway? It’s not like you’ve never shared a bed before.”

Your face felt like it was burning at his words. “How do you even know that?”

Unimpressed, he raised a brow. “You did the same thing the last time it happened – ran in screaming and crying and giggling like a schoolkid.” He paused, narrowing his eyes a little as if a thought was occurring before adding, “You actually do this a lot. It’s a little concerning.”

“Whatever,” you groaned and slumped in the bar stool across the counter from him. “What do I do?”

“Seize the day and appreciate the fact that you’re dating your crush?”

“Fake dating,” you corrected him with a mild glare. And you had only revealed so much to him because he was your best friend and confidant (and because you had made him swear on his life that he wouldn’t tell anyone else).

Chan scoffed a laugh. “He might be faking but there’s no way you are. You suck at improv. Just embrace it and go with the flow.”

You stared at him. Were all your friends this unhelpful or was this just a trait unique to Lee Chan? 

“Why do I even come to you for advice?” you thought out loud. “It’s not like you can even get a date yourself.”

He sputtered and coughed up the sip of coffee he had unfortunately taken just seconds before. His ears turned red. “At least I’m trying.”

“So am I!” you whined. “Come on, give me something to work with. I’m in the middle of a crisis.”

“All of which is self-inflicted.”

“I hate you.”

“Maybe, but you love Joshua,” he teased, winked, and narrowly dodged the apple you threw at his head. He laughed heartily before taking another sip of his coffee. “I’m serious though. You might as well take advantage of your arrangement. Just forget about the fake part and just think of yourself as his girlfriend. I’m sure he won’t complain about your authenticity.”

“I don’t think that’s how it works.”

“Well, then take advantage some other way,” he suggested, appearing a little frustrated (which was fair; you had, in fact, interrupted his much needed me-time and breakfast for one). “What are you getting out of this arrangement anyways? He gets his mom off his back, and you? Is getting to live out your late-night fantasies the only perk?”

You stared at him. For a moment, he feared you were getting ready to hurl another fruit at his head. But then, instead of reaching for an apple, you slumped in your seat and let out a curious noise. “Huh.”

“Huh?” he mimicked, still tense in case it was a fake-out and you were going to throw something at him regardless.

“You’re right,” you said and he worried even more. 

He glanced towards the nearest door from the corner of his eye, wondering if it was close enough for a safe escape. You never said Chan was right – that just wasn’t a thing. It never happened. He had a bigger chance of getting struck by lightning than to hear you say those two words. Chan was fearing for his life.

“I’m right?” he echoed hesitantly.

“I’m getting nothing out of this arrangement,” you said with a scoff of disbelief. “That little scammer! I’m out here improv-ing my ass off to please his mother and all I get in return is daydream material? Screw that!”

Across from you, Chan still wasn’t sure if this was a healthy development or if he should call Jeonghan for back-up. Regardless, he decided it was safer to just play along. He let out an empathetic cheer and agreed, “Screw it! Yeah! He’s too nice to say no anyways.”

“I’m gonna make him pay!” you decided and marched out of his apartment.

The moment you were out of his sight, Chan breathed out a sigh of relief. 

But you? You froze in the hallway. You just had to cross the hall and demand your due payment. But what would you even ask for? 

As your mind raced for ideas – a new laptop? a new wardrobe? –, the door of your apartment opened. As if you were cursed, Joshua’s head peeked out. 

“Oh,” he spoke and his voice was so soft and welcoming that you almost convinced yourself you couldn’t take advantage of him any more than you already were, “there you are! We were starting to worry.”

“Worry?” you parroted dumbly.

“Yeah,” he laughed and reached out a hand as if to invite you in – as if your name wasn’t on the lease right next to his –, “we were about to have breakfast. Mom made french toast.”

“Oh.” You silently wondered what had happened to the woman you had been two minutes ago in Chan’s apartment. The spine you had grown seemed to have disappeared as soon as Joshua flashed you a smile. You were capital S Screwed.

Deep in your thoughts, you hadn’t noticed Joshua staring at you, confused and puzzled, his hand still outstretched for you to take. He cleared his throat to call your attention and forced his smile to brighten as he wriggled his fingers as if to entice you. You sighed quietly before faking a smile and taking his hand, finally letting him pull you to the kitchen.

“There you are,” his mother called out the moment she saw you. She was already at the table, sipping her tea and eyeing the fresh toast. “We were just beginning to wonder where you had gone.”

“Yeah,” Joshua agreed before frowning at you as he pulled a chair out for you to sit, “where did you go?”

What would be a convincing lie? A half-truth – at least that’s what Joshua himself had once told you in a drunken giggle fit.

You took a deep breath and lied through your teeth, “I remembered I promised to help Chan with something.”

“Chan?” She looked at you and there was an odd glint of something in her eyes. Amusement? Judgement? Suspicion. That’s what it was – it was clear cut suspicion and you had to shake it off before she caught onto your plan.

“Our neighbour from across the hall,” Joshua said quickly. Too quickly. You thought he must have recognised that glint in her eyes as well. “He and (Y/n) get along great.”

She hummed thoughtfully, giving you one last glance before declaring, “Well, let’s eat before it all gets cold, kids.”

[DAY 3, SUNDAY]

You had managed to avoid this twice already. This being the act of sharing a bed with the very man who had been the main character of your beautiful love-struck dreams for the past 7 months. 

The first time had been a lucky break – falling asleep on the sofa with a Transformers movie playing in the background. It had been believable enough.

The second time – last night –, had been less of a lucky break and more of a Joshua scheme. Whether it was because he couldn’t fathom the idea of sharing even a room with you (hurtful, but valid) or because he was afraid you’d be uncomfortable (absolutely valid), he had gone to hang out with his friend Jeonghan and the newest inhabitant of the building Choi Seungcheol and didn’t return until noon. And even now he was still hungover from their late-night activities.

But this time? It seemed that three was not a magic number after all. 

Dressed in your least revealing pyjamas, you stood next to Joshua, collectively staring at the twin bed in the corner of your room. 

The silence was deafening and suffocating you. And the butterflies in your stomach seemed to have doubled since this arrangement started. 

“Do you think it’s too late to call Jihoon and ask for a spare mattress?” you wondered out loud without really meaning to. 

You wanted to slap a hand over your own mouth – all these months of pining but when the opportunity is served to you on a silver platter, you’re a coward. What was it that Mina had called this? 

Self-sabotage? Sounds about right.

Joshua glanced at the time on his phone before sighing and looking at the bed again. “It’s already past midnight. And you have work at 8.”

“Oh.” 

“Whatever,” he sighed, blinking his eyes closed and rubbing the bridge of his nose. “I’ll take the window side. You take the wall side.”

Any love-blind or anxious thoughts jumped right out your third floor windows. Why did you even have a crush on this man who cared so little for your sleep? Making you sleep against the wall? When his shoulders were almost as wide as your whole bed? 

To quote the wise words of Lee Jihoon: Joshua? A gentleman, my ass!

You scoffed. “No way! Last time I let you do that, you almost squashed me.”

Frowning, he shushed you and pointed at the door. “My mom’s next door.”

You rolled your eyes and continued in a whisper – because unlike him, you were considerate of your friends’ feelings and needs –, “I’m not sleeping against the wall.”

“Fine,” he agreed with a soft scoff of disbelief, his eyes widening, “I’ll sleep against the wall.”

“And what? Push me off my own bed?”

He stared at you like you had grown a third head. But really he couldn’t argue – he knew he couldn’t because you had a perfectly valid point. And besides, he had lived with you long enough to know there was no winning against you. 

“Then what do you suggest?” he asked, defeated.

No ideas were popping up. You stayed quiet. 

After a few minutes of silence, you relented and suggested, “... Rock paper scissors?”

“You didn’t like either idea,” he reminded you.

“Just pick a side to defend. Whatever. I’m voting I get the window side.”

“But you didn’t want–”

“I want the window side,” you insisted half-heartedly but you both knew you were lying. There was no winning for you – not with a bed this size.

“Why did I choose you?” he thought out loud as he lifted his hand in the starting position. 

You almost scoffed at his words because it’s not like he actually had any other choices anyway. You were the only one crazy enough to agree to his scheme. Joshua had exactly two partners in crime and you doubted Jeonghan would have agreed to pretend to be Joshua’s boyfriend for a month. So, really, you were his one and only option.

“Rock, paper, scissors, shoot,” you softly counted in unison.

Your rock was swiftly beaten by his paper. You weren’t sure why that annoyed you – you were on the losing end of the bet either way.

Joshua stepped back and grandly gestured towards the bed with a sarcastic smile, “My love.”

“I hate you,” you told him with a groan and got in the bed before pulling yourself to the side against the wall. You already knew this would be a miserable night. 

Your roommate chuckled and followed suit, settling on his own side. Immediately, you regretted getting in the bed with him. Joshua took up more than half of the bed, easily and even when he was trying to be considerate, rolling to his side to take up less space, he was too close for comfort. 

Perhaps, you wondered, he wouldn’t bat an eye if you got out right now and pulled an all-nighter on a report you desperately needed to work on before the morning (the report being your Netflix catalogue; Bridgerton was calling your name).

But before you could even open your mouth to lie, Joshua pulled the blanket up to your neck, tucking you in with a gentle smile. “We can switch tomorrow, if you want. Just get some sleep now. You have an early day.”

As he closed your eyes and subconsciously leaned closer to you, you wondered if it would be so hard to take advantage of the situation after all and pretend it’s real. Would it really hurt to just forget about the ‘fake’ part of your fake dating plan and just… lean a little closer and rest your head on his pillow instead of your own? 

His hand was so close to yours, fingers just inches from touching. 

What would happen if you just reached out and wrapped your hand around his? What would happen if you pressed a single affectionate kiss to his knuckles? 

Would he smile in his sleep? 

Or would he be appalled?

You shook the thoughts out of your head and squeezed your eyes shut. This was going to be a long night.

[DAY 4, MONDAY]

In your months of living with Joshua, you had shared more than a few breakfasts. Hungover, sick, or even after a foul fight over who’s turn it had been to take out the trash – none of those breakfasts had been nearly as unpalatable as this one.

You could hardly look at him from across the table. Mortified. Ashamed. Certain he wouldn’t even want to look at you. You avoided his eyes and he avoided yours as his mother fussed about and piled waffles upon waffles onto your plates. 

It might have been rude to not listen to your guest’s morning rambles about the weather and the news channel, but you were still too caught-up in your embarrassment to pay her any kind of attention. 

You knew you shouldn’t have fallen asleep. You should’ve ignored the fluffy sheep and refused the offers of the Sandman. You really should have because you hadn’t and now you were forced to live the knowledge that Joshua had to gently shake you awake from his spot underneath you. 

From UNDERNEATH you. Meaning you had fallen asleep on top of your very handsome roommate. 

And now you couldn’t even look him in the eyes again. 

“Are you kids alright?” his mother wondered all of a sudden and a jolt of fear went through you. 

On instinct and instinct alone, your head snapped to share a look with your “boyfriend”. Remembering the morning incident, you immediately looked away again and feigned nonchalance even as your cheeks and ears burned (out of the corner of your eye, you saw him do the same – there went the small chance that he had thought nothing of it).

“Yeah, why?” Joshua replied after clearing his throat.

“You’re usually not this quiet,” she said and you found her looking at you with concern. “Did something happen? Did you two fight?”

“What? No!” you protested without really meaning to. In your head, you reminded yourself that it was just a reflex and the desperate need to fulfil your part of the deal. “We’re completely fine.”

“Are you?” she still worried, hands on her hips as she took turns looking at the two of you. “Be honest: is me being here a problem? You seem so awkward, like even being in the same room is a chore. Did you fight because I came to stay here?”

“No, no,” you and Joshua protested in unison. 

You shared another look, forgetting your embarrassment now that your plan was in jeopardy.

“Are you sure?” she asked. “Because I really didn’t want to cause you problems. If I’ve done something to upset either of you–”

“Mom,” Joshua assured her with a gentle smile that didn’t look entirely genuine, “(Y/n) and I are fine. We’re just…”

“Stressed from work,” you supplied when he trailed off in thought. “You know how it is.”

She didn’t fully seem to buy it, still eyeing the both of you with a mix of suspicion and worry. “You’d tell me if something was wrong, right?” She scoffed as if she had realised the gravity of her words and pinched the bridge of her nose. “What am I even saying? You wouldn’t lie to me.”

As if your morning couldn’t get any worse.

“We should go get ready for work, honey,” Joshua suddenly excused himself and you, pulling you up by the crook of your elbow. “Wouldn’t want you to be late to work with all those big projects you have.”

You wondered what big projects he was talking about. Your higher-ups barely even allowed you to proofread the company documents and fix typos. But the look in his eyes said he needed you to play along.

“Right, right,” you sighed and went with him, offering his mother one last sweet smile before the bedroom door shut behind you and Joshua practically trapped you against it. 

“She’s onto us,” he told you quietly, all the while still avoiding your eyes. “She’s onto us and she’s probably already setting up a blind date with that Maria-girl.”

“Wasn’t it Mary?” you wondered.

Joshua replied with a half-hearted glare and a sigh. “We need to fix this.”

“But how?” You crossed your arms over your chest, mostly to convince yourself that there was enough space between your and his body to not have the butterflies go absolutely wild. “We just, what, kiss and make up?”

His eyes lit up and you feared for your life. “You’re a genius!”

“Shua, I was being sarcastic.”

He didn’t even seem to hear your protests. “If we kiss, she has no reason to suspect we’re not together. And she’ll be off our backs. It’s perfect.”

The things you would’ve done to kiss Joshua Hong and his beautiful, plump lips… 

Joshua must have mistaken your eager expression for one of dismay or maybe fear because his eyes widened. He lifted his hands in a way that just screamed ‘I was just kidding, please don’t hit me’ before quickly adding, “Not that I want to kiss you – I’m sure you’re a great kisser. We don’t have to kiss though. Because–”

“Because we’re friends,” you finished for him with a smile that you hoped wouldn’t betray your disappointment, “and it would make things awkward, right?”

“Right,” he breathed out and visibly relaxing – slumping even – in front of you. “I’m sorry I even suggested that. It’s dumb. You’re my friend – you shouldn’t have to kiss me if you don’t want to just because of a stupid scheme to please my mom.”

If you don’t want to. If you don’t want to. You almost scoffed in his face – he had no idea what he was saying.

You wondered what was the formal and correct way to inform your roommate that you had the biggest, fattest, most ridiculous crush on him and would sell your left kidney for one kiss – if only he wanted to kiss you back.

“Well, we have to convince her somehow, right?” you pointed out as you prepared to start doing your hair. “I doubt a hug will make her less suspicious.”

Joshua chuckled. “You noticed it too?”

“She was acting like she expected us to slip up and confess at any moment,” you reminded him with a quirk of your brow, eyeing him through the mirror. “What did she say? ‘You wouldn’t lie to me’? Oddly specific, no?”

“We’re so screwed if we don’t figure something out,” he sighed and ran a hand through his hair (it took you great strength to resist the urge to reach over and give his fluffy utter mess of dark hair a pat as well).

You schooled your expression, willing the beginnings of a blush to go away, as you suggested, “We could still do something kiss-related, you know. Just this once, to get her off our backs.”

“I’m not kissing you,” he argued instantly, ears reddening.

Why was he so god-damn difficult? Why did he have to go on an anxious mental tangent about the wrongs of kissing one’s roommate? Why couldn’t he just kiss you already?! It was his idea anyway!

You almost rolled your eyes as you came up with an alternative, “I could kiss you on the cheek when I leave. Not as good as a kiss but–”

“That could work.”

“Okay, great, we’ve figured it out,” you told him with a chuckle and gently pushed him towards the door. “Now, get out. You haven’t dated me long enough to earn the privilege of seeing me naked yet.”

He snorted a laugh at that – you were half sure it was because he had, in fact, at one point seen you naked, under very different and less than ideal circumstances involving one too many shots of Bacardi – before leaving you to your thoughts and doubts and the knowledge that your roommate did not want to kiss you at all.

[DAY 7, THURSDAY]

While there was an extensive list of reasons why Joshua Hong was the most infuriating man you had ever met (and you meant this very affectionately, which your friends found hilarious), there was an equally extensive list of reasons why Joshua was the ideal man.

His looks were definitely on the list – his doe-like brown eyes, his little bird’s nest of morning hair, his bright smiles to name some of the points.

But it wasn’t all that superficial. You loved his sense of humour. You liked his unlimited patience and kindness. 

Most of all, you loved his cooking.

On most evenings, you got home from work and found your roommate beginning to prepare dinner. He’d offer you a wide smile and ask if his plan of tomato rigatoni suited your tastes. And then he’d just let you rant about your day as he cooked, a drink in your hand.

This tradition had been briefly broken by Joshua’s mother taking over kitchen duties. She felt it was only fair as she was staying in your apartment for free for such a prolonged time. But as much as you loved her food (which almost rivalled Joshua’s), you just missed your daily gossip sessions. 

So, when you got home from work and found your roommate, friend, and fake boyfriend extraordinaire sorting through ingredients on the kitchen counter, you almost cried of joy. You had so many tales to share and you were eager to listen to his stories as well (your last gossip session had ended on a cliffhanger on his part). 

“You’re cooking?” you asked him, leaning over to look at the ingredients, before even remembering that was not how you were meant to greet someone. 

Joshua jumped at voice before resting a hand on his chest and taking a deep breath. “Oh my god…”

“Did I scare you?” you laughed at him and offered an apologetic expression when he turned to glare at you. “So, what are you cooking?”

“I was going to just make some vegetable soup,” he informed you with a tired chuckle. “Mom’s feeling a little under the weather so…”

You couldn’t help but melt at the implications. The grand scheme of fake dating aside, Joshua was a great son to his mother. Yet another reason to add to your ever-growing list. 

And perhaps it was the melting of your heart that affected your brain activity because the next thing you knew you were doing the unthinkable.

“Can I help somehow?” you asked him. 

Even Joshua was startled by your question. And you soon realised why.

In disbelief, you scoffed. “C’mon, I’ve helped you before.”

“Have you?” His head tilted to the side in a manner resembling a curious cat but his eyes narrowed with suspicion. “You never offer to help cook. Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever even seen you use a pan.”

“Shush,” you told him and gave him a gentle slap on the bicep. “What do you need me to do?”

Looking at the various vegetables on the counter, he puffed his cheeks out in thought. Then he shrugged. “You could help with the potatoes.”

“What do I do with them?”

He sighed theatrically. “This is why I never let you help.”

“Hey!”

“Just peel and cut them into pieces, okay?” he finally instructed with a laugh that suggested he did not have a lot of faith in your ability to do so. “Not too small though.”

“I know how to cut potatoes, Shua,” you told him as you got out a knife and cutting board. “I’m a big girl.”

When he offered you another suspicious and perhaps worried glance, you decided it was time to prove a point. He didn’t think you could peel and cut a potato into perfect pieces for a soup? You were going to prove him wrong and you were going to make him eat his words.

It started out great. The first potato was a breeze, peeled and cut in record time. The second and third potato were a joy to turn into smaller chunks and chuck into the bowl Joshua had provided for you. While working on the fourth potato, you started sharing gossip from work and it didn’t affect your task at all. 

For a moment you were certain Joshua would regret doubting you. You were sure there was no way you were going to mess this up and make him question your cooking abilities ever again. 

That is until you reached the last potato. It was two chops in when you let out a whimper, dropped the knife and cradled your hand to your chest.

Joshua’s head snapped up immediately.  Eyes widening in concern, he rushed to your side. “Are you bleeding?”

“Yeah,” you sighed and reached for a towel to dry the blood. “It’s no big deal though, so don’t worry. I’ll g0 find some band-aids and–”

“Don’t get any blood on the potatoes,” he warned with a serious frown and your jaw dropped.

You smacked him with your good hand when his scowl turned into a mischievous smile.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding!” he laughed and left the room. He returned just moments later with the first-aid kit. “Come here, silly. Let’s get that fixed up.”

When he reached for your injured hand, you snorted out a laugh. “You know, I can put the band-aid on by myself.”

“Who knows,” he teased all the while focusing on your wound, “maybe you’d mess that up as well.”

“Now you’re just being mean,” you told him but made no move to escape from your handsome nurse.

Leaning ridiculously close to you, he gently applied the band-aid. When you let out a soft hiss at the pain (mostly just to mess with him), he pouted and pressed a soft kiss to the spot. “That better?”

It was just your luck that his mother decided to come for a glass of water at that exact moment. She let out a soft gasp of delight before feigning nonchalance when your heads snapped to look at her. 

Clearing his throat, Joshua immediately leaned away, straightened up, and offered her a taut smile. 

“Don’t mind me, lovebirds,” she spoke in a theatrical whisper and rushed over to the cupboard to get a glass. “I’m not even here.”

You fought a grimace and turned back to your cutting board. The potato wasn’t going to cut itself and the pot of broth was already calling its name. 

“You’re making soup?” she wondered and lifted a glass of water to her lips, barely even bothering to hide a smile. “It smells delicious.”

Joshua chuckled. “It will be, once (Y/n) finishes the potatoes and we add them in.”

Her jaw dropped and she lowered her glass of water. 

“Joshua!” 

Her voice could only be described as the dictionary definition of the tone of a mother scolding her children for getting into trouble. It sent a shiver of fear down your spine until you realised it wasn’t you she was yelling at.

Your roommate offered you a panicked look before turning to look at his mother, offering her a tight-lipped, fearful smile. “Yes?”

“You’re not actually going to make your girlfriend cook when she’s injured like this, right?!” she demanded to know, her brows furrowed into a furious frown. “She’s bleeding!”

“She’s fine,” Joshua started to argue but his voice trailed lower and lower with every syllable until it faded into silence and his gaze dropped to the floor in shame. 

She glared at him and reached to drag you away from the counter by the sleeve of your blouse. “Come on, sweetheart. You can come watch a movie with me while Joshua thinks about what he’s done.”

As you made your escape from the heat of the kitchen, you glanced over your shoulder to find Joshua looking at you with a dramatic grimace. You replied with a bright smile of victory and a playful wave before joining his mother in watching Mamma Mia.

[DAY 12, TUESDAY]

As far as ways to throw your roommate’s mom off your trail go, cheek kisses were good enough for the first couple of days. You quite grew to like them and, judging by the pinks of his ears and cheeks, so did Joshua. Every morning, you’d leave for work with a kiss to his cheek, a sweet smile and prep to your steps.

Then, of course, his mother made an off-hand comment about how it seems that Joshua never kisses you and he, of course, took that as a challenge. So, he began sending you off with forehead kisses and warm hugs. You like those even more, honestly. 

But you both knew you were delaying the inevitable. Eventually, the cheek and forehead kisses would not be enough proof of your relationship. Paired with no late-evening love-drunk giggles and movie night cuddles, the morning kisses were barely enough to convince anyone and eventually you’d have to up your game.

You had simply hoped you’d have more time to come to terms with the fact before it happened.

“Mom’s starting to get suspicious again,” Joshua simply stated in a hushed tone as he helped you put on your coat. 

Your heart dropped at the mention. When you turned to look at him, he was looking at everything but your eyes. “Is she asking questions again?”

“She told me to stop eating so much garlic bread because it would make my breath stink,” he said while staring at the fake plant sat on the shoe rack. “That feels like a hint.”

“Well, you don’t want to kiss me, so,” you pointed out with a shrug and shook your scarf to unravel it. “Just tell her it’s my breath that’s bad.”

“No way. Everybody knows your breath smells like roses and vanilla,” he joked and you choked on a laugh. He took your scarf from you and untangled a knot in the middle. 

With nothing to do but stare at him, you came up with a mutually beneficial idea. “We could just fake it.”

“How do you fake a kiss?” he wondered, eyes narrowing and brows furrowing.

You shrugged. “I don’t know. Isn’t that what they do in movies? We just have to get the angle right.”

“How does that work?” 

It turns out it’s hard to answer any questions when your crush is standing in your personal space – so close that you could smell his shampoo and conditioner. Your brain stalled, blanked and desperately tried to restart all necessary systems while you stared at him. 

“Like this?” you heard his voice say but it sounded distant over the sound of your heart pumping.

Not seeming to notice your daze, Joshua placed the scarf around your neck gently. Carefully, he tugged on the two ends of it, pulling you closer inch by inch until you were so close that you had to fight yourself to not actually kiss him. He leaned closer and closer still, his nose brushing against yours, his hands still wrapped in the scarf to keep you from escaping. If you focused really hard, you could almost feel his lips brushing against yours ever so slightly.

The sound of the coffee maker starting and a mug being placed on the counter awakened you again, harshly forcing you back into consciousness. You let out a soft gasp without really meaning to. 

“That– That was–” Joshua stammered, stepping away from you like he’d been burned and running a hand through his hair. 

You cleared your throat. “That could work… I guess…”

“Right.” 

“Yeah.”

“Have— Have a good day…”

“Yeah.”

You couldn’t find another word to say until you reached your office. There, you slumped into your almost-comfy chair and stared at the ceiling. 

“Fuck.”

[DAY 16, SATURDAY]

Brunch is meant to be fun. It’s meant to bring joy. It’s breakfast without the hassle of waking up at 8 am – what’s not to love?

Well, you weren’t sure you liked brunch that much anymore.

Traumatised (a bit of a hyperbole) and furious (the scientifically correct term), you walked into your room and shut the door behind you before turning to glare at Joshua.

While you had gone out to eat with his mother – at her insistence and with a promise of free food –, your roommate stayed home with the excuse of a headache and snuggled into your blankets like it was his rightful place.

“You.”

His eyes blinked open. “Me?”

“Why do you never read your damn messages?” you burst out but tried to keep your voice low to not catch his mother’s attention. “I sent you, like, fifty.”

“You did?” He seemed genuinely surprised. Which meant that he hadn’t even looked at his phone once in the hours you were gone. Why did he even have a phone in the first place?

Your hands clenched into fists. “What if I died?!”

“My mom asking you to brunch isn’t really a deadly occasion.”

“I barely survived! She asked me about grandkids!”

“Oh.”

Your glare was unrelenting. You hoped it would somehow telepathically convey how much you wished to strangle him if only it weren’t illegal and you weren’t desperately in love with him.

“Well, what did you tell her?” he then wondered and you almost actually jumped to tackle and murder him.

“What do you think I told her, Joshua?” You scoffed. “I just said we hadn’t thought about it because this is still new and you know what she did? Do you want to know what she did?”

He raised a brow. “I guess so?”

“She started giving me the whole ‘you don’t have forever’ and ‘I’d like grandkids before I turn 70’ spiel,” you informed him and groaned. “It went on forever.”

“You’re a good actor,” he assured you with a small smile that almost seemed amused, “I’m sure you got your way out of it.”

“You’re sleeping on the floor tonight,” you told him with a roll of your eyes.

He gasped. “Because my mom asked about grandkids?!”

“Because you don’t read my texts.”

Joshua paused. “Yeah, that’s fair, actually.”

[DAY 20, WEDNESDAY]

Enough was enough. You could put up with many things – your roommate’s pranks, Chan’s endless fantasies about how he’s secretly the most sensible inhabitant of the building, Joshua’s mother staying for a month with little to no notice – but you even your charitability had its limits.

When you’d woken up this morning, your back positively aching and your joints sore from being stuck between Joshua’s wall-like form and the actual wall, the first thought you had was something Chan said:

“What are you getting out of this arrangement anyways? He gets his mom off his back, and you? Is getting to live out your late-night fantasies the only perk?”

And that was when you decided that you had finally reached your limit. With a shove that was far from affectionate or fond, you awakened Joshua and declared before he could even rub the sleep out of his eyes that he’d better keep his evening schedule and a sizable number on his bank account free for you.

What followed had been a shopping trip that dismayed him and exhilarated you. You had, after all, wanted a proper big bed for a while now. Finally, a chance to sprawl out and live out your starfish dreams without the worry of falling to the cold hard ground at 2 am. And more importantly, no more being pushed against the wall like an undignified cushion every other night.

But the thing you enjoyed most of all was Joshua’s hair getting progressively more messy and unkempt as he tried to decipher the IKEA instructions all on his own while you curled up in your desk chair and watched him with a cup of hot cocoa in hand.

“I thought you’d be better at this,” you noted passively upon hearing his frustrated sigh and seeing him unscrew what you assumed was meant to be one of the legs of the new bed. “Maybe I should’ve asked for Jeonghan’s help instead.”

The glare he sent your way was scathing but his tone remained as delightful as always when he assured you, “I’ve got this, don’t worry.”

You made a show of glancing at the time on your laptop – a rerun of Friends playing in the background in an effort to entertain your poor IKEA slave of the night – and announced, “I’m just saying. It’s almost midnight and you’ve only managed to add one leg to the frame.”

He groaned. “It’s not my fault this thing is so complicated. Why couldn’t you pick out a different frame? Something more easy to assemble, for one.”

“I wanted this one,” you teased.

“The oak one you looked at at first would’ve been better. And cheaper.”

“If you want me to keep playing along in your little improv show, you’d better be happy I only asked for a 700,000-won bed in return,” you pointed out and took a sip of your cocoa. 

You sighed happily at the warmth the drink provided. Oh the joys of girlhood. You thought you could get used to this: free furniture, free assembly, and a handsome man to do your bidding.

Joshua’s lips and eyes squeezed into a sarcastic smile as he slowly turned to face you. “Don’t forget the mattress, darling.”

You shrugged. “I didn’t see you protesting at the check-out.”

His smile dropped into yet another glare. “That’s called being in shock. My bank account is dying because of you.”

Without another word, he sharply turned back to his task of assembling the frame.

“This benefits you too, sweetheart,” you replied with a roll of your eyes. “I sleep better, you sleep better, everybody benefits.”

“For ten days,” he muttered and practically slammed two pieces of wood together now that he was sure they were meant to go together. “And then you have a new comfy bed and I just have poverty.”

You snorted. “I’m willing to split custody if you’re nice to me.”

It didn’t take a genius to know he was rolling his eyes. “Yeah right.”

“Besides,” you adjusted your position so you could nudge his back with your foot in an affectionate manner, “you barge in here to gossip every other night anyways. You’re benefiting plenty.”

“Remind me to never ask you to be my fake girlfriend ever again,” he pleaded.

You knew (or perhaps wished) he only half-meant it. But even so there was a pang in your chest. A feeling of sadness as the reality once again sank in. It was easy to forget that this was just an act and he had only bought you this bed because he felt guilty and not because he loved you. The feeling would nag you late into the night.

[DAY 22,  FRIDAY]

You had learnt early on that karaoke has the magical ability to heal wounds and erase bad memories, even if just for one night. Tonight you hoped it would once again prove true.

The building’s monthly karaoke parties were organised by Vernon and Jihoon in an effort to bring the community closer together. On every third Friday of the month, the lobby of the building would be lit with stage and string lights, decorated with colourful banners and dollar store party supplies, and a small stage would be built in the corner. As was tradition, everyone brought some snacks and drinks to the snack table and enjoyed the evening, getting progressively more drunk between karaoke and socialising. 

You thought it was the perfect solution to your problems. With the help of loud music, your nosy friends and alcohol, you would for sure soon forget your heartache and worries. 

There was, however, one problem you had forgotten: Joshua’s protective nature.

You had successfully managed to avoid him for the better part of the evening, sneaking between people, hiding behind Mingyu’s wide frame under the guise of playing hide and seek with your roommate (something Mingyu was very happy to help with; you suspected he just liked to feel useful), and running at every mention of Joshua. 

Seamlessly, the karaoke soon worked its miracle. You found you had missed the liberty that came with hanging out with your friends and not worrying how everything appears to Joshua’s mother. For this one night, you were not Joshua’s fake girlfriend, not someone’s pretend-daughter-in-law, and not an actress struggling at improv – you were once again just (Y/n), a simple woman in love with her best friend, eyeing him from across the room and giggling with your friends about it.

By the time you remembered you were hiding from him, you were far from sober and your thoughts were getting a little jumbled as you made conversation with Minghao, laughing between every other word because saying things was hard and your tongue felt heavy in your mouth. Minghao didn’t say a word and only smiled at you fondly, like one would at a kitten trying to chase after shoelaces, as he listened to you. 

His attention was caught by something behind you and you saw him give someone a gentle nod and a bright smile. Then, before you could even process the situation or ask any questions, he placed a hand on your shoulder and turned you around, bringing you face to face with him. 

You weren’t sure what it was about the dollar store lighting in the lobby, but you had always thought it made Joshua look even more delectable. It was hard not to stare at the shadow his lashes cast on his cheeks or the definition of his muscles visible through the thin fabric of his button-up shirt.

“Hi!” You greeted him with a wave and an intoxicated giggle, momentarily forgetting about the freshly opened can of beer in your hand and letting it slosh in your hands. “Oh! Sorry, my bad!”

A situation you would’ve once thought to be mortifying only made you laugh harder tonight as you searched for tissues and began to dry your hand. You didn’t notice when Joshua had taken the drink from you but you also wouldn’t notice he never gave it back.

He watched you with a smile. “Having fun?”

“Oh my god, I’m having so much fun,” you rambled, eyes shining as you looked at him, already forgetting your quest to dry the floor. “Did you see when Seungcheol and I did ‘Alcohol-Free’ together? It was so much fun–”

It was hard to finish your thought when he looked at you with those pretty eyes, and smile, and– 

He adjusted the sleeves of your dress for you and you almost melted. All thoughts gone. Words? Never heard of those.

You were silent for so long that he chuckled. “You awake?”

“I– Yeah, totally,” you replied, blinking your eyes to force yourself to focus again. “How about you? Are you having fun?”

He shrugged. “I usually have more fun when you’re with me.”

“Oh.”

“You didn’t even sing ‘Breaking Free’ with me tonight,” he complained playfully but you thought you saw a hint of actual sadness in his eyes. “I’m glad you’re making friends with Seungcheol though.”

You hummed and nodded. “He’s very nice. Very handsome too.”

His eyes widened and you couldn’t quite figure out why. 

Not that you even wanted to figure it out. You were, in all honesty, more preoccupied with memorising how pretty he looked with his doe eyes. The purples and yellows and pinks of the lights reflected back from the browns of his eyes and you thought it was the prettiest sight you had ever witnessed. No sunset, sunrise or wild landscape could compete with this view. 

And you wanted to tell him that; but words were so hard when your blood was buzzing with alcohol and adrenaline. So you thought you should show him somehow. 

Your eyes closed briefly. You leaned forward just a bit. Then your lips pressed against his. For just a moment. You couldn’t help but smile as you leaned back and opened your eyes again.

If you had thought his eyes were pretty before, they were positively the most gorgeous sight now as he stared back at you in wonder and confusion. There were not enough words in the dictionary. You thought they ought to fix that problem and add a few just to be safe. 

“The girl who wins your heart will be so lucky,” you told him softly and pressed another gentle kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I wish I was her.”

“(Y/n), I–” he started and you felt the alcohol leave your blood in an instant, the warm buzzing replaced with a cold rush. 

Before he could say anything in response, you ran out of the party. 

[DAY 23, SATURDAY]

Seokmin had always heavily advertised the building’s monthly karaoke parties as “life-altering”. He wrote that in large letters with a bright red marker on every karaoke party notice he saw and he said the exact phrase to every person he talked to in the week leading up to the event. Which was especially funny because 1) he wasn’t on the advertising team, 2) there was no advertising team to begin with, and 3) he never even volunteered to help organise the events. You had concluded that he was just very incredibly enthusiastic about karaoke (and with a voice like his how could one not be?).

But you now feared he was right after all.

Upon realising your mistake, you had, for a moment, contemplated going home and hiding in your room before you realised it would be the first place he’d look for you.

So, instead, you sent a silent apology your best friend’s way and took the spare key from under the doormat before letting yourself into Chan's apartment. 

Even as the morning arrived, you didn’t dare face Joshua. Not after what had happened. Not after you had kissed him and told him you wished he’d fall in love with you and kissed him again. You could never go home again. 

Chan looked away from his laptop screen just to give you a look with one of his brows raised. “You literally live with him.”

“That’s the whole point. I can’t go home,” you told him, lying face-down against his thigh. 

Turns out it’s surprisingly easy to make physical contact with men when you’re not attracted to them. You silently wondered if that could be the solution to your obvious touch-starvation problem – why else would you drunkenly kiss your roommate?

He rolled his eyes. “Then what’s your plan, drama queen?”

You didn’t answer, mulling it over in your head. There really weren’t a lot of options. 

Maybe it was a sign – finally you could fulfil your life-long dream of adopting a new identity and moving to Iceland to become an anonymous sheep herder. It sure sounded more tempting than facing Joshua Hong again.

Before you could open your mouth to suggest a viable idea, Chan beat you to it with a click of his tongue. “You’re too poor to move to Iceland. And no, you can’t move into my place either.”

There went your plan A as well as plan B.

“Fuck you,” you told him and rolled over to face the ceiling. “Then what do I do?”

“What you always do, I guess,” he sighed and turned back to his online shopping addiction. “You complain a bit, throw an apple at my head, and then pretend nothing ever happened between you and Joshua.”

You blinked. “Do I always do that?” 

“Without fail.”

You hadn’t realised there was a pattern. Perhaps this whole thing was worse than you had thought. Perhaps taking a new identity and running really was your only option. And who knows, you thought, maybe you’d find a nice man in Iceland and fall in love with a not-Joshua instead. Then you’d at least be free of one problem, even if at the expense of a new set of issues.

“Instead of catastrophizing, you should use this opportunity,” Chan broke the silence, eyes still on the screen.

You suddenly understood why throwing an apple at his head was part of the pattern. Fortunately for him, the apples were just out of your reach and you were too comfy and hungover to go get even one. “To fake my death and go into hiding? Absolutely.”

“What? No!” He frowned at you as if you had suggested 2+2 was 5. “What is wrong with you? You need to face this whole thing head-on instead of making escape plans!”

“I’d honestly rather go missing under mysterious circumstances.”

“Or,” he started and flicked your forehead with his fingers, making you curse at him as he rolled his eyes, “you could accept the fact that you confessed to your crush and see what he thinks of that.”

“He looked horrified last night.”

“You were drunk and kissed him without permission,” he reminded you helpfully. You failed to see how that information would soften the blow. If anything, it was making you feel like a predator – and not even a very clever one. You grimaced. “Give the poor guy a minute to process before jumping to conclusions. He was just surprised. If you stuck around instead of pulling a Cinderella, maybe you would’ve found out it wasn’t that big of a deal. Who knows, maybe he even likes you back.”

“Pull a Cinder–” You sputtered and glared at him. “Why do I ever come to you for advice?”

He offered a smug smile. “Because deep down you know I’m right.”

You were certain he wasn’t. You couldn’t imagine any scenario outside of your daydreams where the situation could’ve been resolved with a smile and a confession from Joshua Hong. You could, however, imagine a thousand scenarios of him running away or being so disgusted by your behaviour that he’d call off the fake dating scheme once and for all.

Seeing your hopeless expression, Chan sighed. “Instead of making doom’s day plans, try to look at the bright side of things.”

“What bright side?” you asked, closing your eyes and wishing the month would end already. “I embarrassed myself in front of my crush. What’s the bright side, Mr Positivity?”

His silence spoke louder than any words ever could have.

[DAY 24, SUNDAY]

After two nights at Chan’s apartment, you finally decided it was time to face your nightmare. If Joshua hadn’t unilaterally called off the scheme yet, his mother must have for sure been worried about the state of things. You thought you owed him at least these last 7 days of fulfilling this nonsensical plan. 

So, after two cups of coffee and a pep talk from Lee Chan, you braced yourself and walked into your own apartment for the first time all weekend. 

It was silent. Of course it was, you thought and facepalmed: it was only 8 am on a Sunday. Just because your sins and demons had kept you from sleeping in didn’t mean Joshua and his mother would be awake at this damned hour.

You were just about to come to terms with the fact when a soft pitter-patter of feet interrupted the silence. The steps came closer and you took a deep breath to calm yourself, praying it wouldn’t be who you thought it was.

But you knew it was a useless hope. You had lived with Joshua long enough to recognise his footsteps and the rhythm of his snores in your sleep. 

He let out a sigh that seemed almost relieved once he reached the living room. 

“Where were you?” you expected him to ask and put on his best impression of an overprotective dad. 

“How dare you come back here?” you half thought he’d say and glare at you as he’d shove a bag full of your clothes into your arms and kick you out.

But he just watched you in silence for a moment as if to make sure you were real and not a figment of his overactive imagination. And only once you had been pushed to the point of awkwardness where you couldn’t help but put on a tight-lipped smile and a shrug did he finally open his mouth to ask, “Did you eat yet?”

You had almost forgotten what he sounded like and it was a pleasant feeling to listen to him again. The soft murmur and slight sleepy growl to his voice sounded like home and it made the butterflies in your stomach come back to life with a roar of fluttering wings, free of shame and fear.

Your smile almost felt genuine when you replied, “I was going to make pancakes…” 

… To make up for what I did went unsaid, but you suspected he knew they were there nonetheless. 

He yawned in a way that didn’t seem entirely real, as if he was putting on an act to ease the awkwardness. After glancing at the clock he spoke again, “I kind of want to go eat breakfast outside today.”

“Oh.” 

You felt a little dejected at the thought but you understood. If someone had done to you what you had to him – someone you thought was your friend suddenly kissed you and confessed to you, even drunkenly –, you probably would have needed more time as well. If he didn’t want to eat breakfast at home with you, it was his right. You were sure his mother was better company than you anyways.

That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt you though. You turned your head to fight back the tears that threatened to make a comeback. You didn’t think you had any right to cry but that didn’t mean you didn’t want to. 

But before you could spiral further, Joshua chuckled, “Don’t worry. I’ll pay. You can get as many waffles as you want.”

Your head snapped to face him again, eyes blinking rapidly. You pointed at yourself. “You want me to–”

“Get dressed, silly. I’m too poor to pay for both you and mom, you know.” He could hardly keep from smiling. “Besides, we need to talk, just you and I.”

And talk you did. Or at least you would have if you weren’t so distracted by waffles and a sense of impending doom. You could hardly sit still in your chair, feeling uncomfortable sitting across from him. 

Any moment now, you thought, he’s going to say you were an awful person. Any moment now, he’s going to say it was all a big mistake and he should’ve just asked Jeonghan to fake date him instead. 

But maybe Chan was right and you were a fair bit overdramatic. 

“So about the other night,” Joshua finally started with a heavy sigh and put down his coffee cup. He avoided your eyes (not that you would’ve noticed because you were too busy avoiding his anyway) as he searched for words to say. 

“I’m sorry about that,” you blurted out, abandoning your waffles. 

He paused. “Sorry?”

“I’m sorry for… you know…” You couldn’t even say the words because it was so dumb and ridiculous and shouldn’t have ever happened anyway. How does one apologise for kissing someone? You forced yourself to look him in the eyes. “I shouldn’t have done it. I was just drunk and dumb and silly– You know how I get.”

He nodded. “Right. You were just… drunk.”

“Yep.”

“And you just kissed me because…”

“I was excited to see you,” you half-lied and avoided his eyes again. “I just hadn’t seen you all night and there you were and I guess I got a little…” Carried away? Lovestruck? “It doesn’t change anything, I swear. I was drunk.”

Silence. He was silent for so long that you were half-convinced he’d gone and left you to your own devices. Paying for the breakfast would’ve been the least of your worries.

When you looked up to see if he was still there, you saw him looking down at his food. He seemed… sad? Disappointed? Upset with you for making such silly excuses maybe? You shuddered to think what that odd dim look on his face meant.

The butterflies that had woken up just an hour ago went back to rest, ashamed of their work. You could just hope he wouldn’t hate you forever or kick you out of the apartment. 

Finally, after what felt like forever and then some years, Joshua forced on a smile that was a little too bright to be real. “Don’t worry about it. I’m just glad you’re back. Where did you even go after the karaoke?”

“I–” You were both overjoyed and taken aback by his question. He cared. He cared and he didn’t want you gone from his life. “I kind of broke into Chan’s apartment and stayed there.”

Brows furrowing and the corner of his mouth turning downwards, he scoffed. “Instead of just coming home? I was worried sick!”

“I’m sorry!” you squeaked and somehow it was the most sincere apology you had uttered today. “I was just so embarrassed and I didn’t think you’d want to see me, so–”

“I always want to see you,” he argued with a disbelieving laugh. “You’re my best friend, (Y/n). I could never be so mad at you that I’d never want to see you. You had me so worried! I thought you’d gone to sleep in a dumpster somewhere.”

There he was – the Joshua you had fallen so hopelessly in love with. Your silly, protective, way too sweet and dramatic Joshua. And you didn’t feel ashamed to be in front of him. 

A smile forced its way onto your lips at the thought.

“What are you smiling at? This is serious!” He could hardly fight a grin himself, already bordering on giggling at your argument. “I was worried about you. And mom kept asking about you and I almost told her you’d moved to Iceland like you always dreamed–”

“Okay, okay,” you interrupted him with a laugh. “I’m sorry, again. You can stop being a worry-wart now.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” He rolled his eyes theatrically. “Next time I’ll just leave you to freeze in the dumpster.”

“I didn’t sleep in a dumpster!”

“Chan’s place is not much better.”

[DAY 26, TUESDAY]

You had hoped that your Sunday breakfast apologies would be the last your actions would haunt you aside from the regular night-time program of nightmares. You had apologised, you had made up, and you were friends with Joshua again as if nothing had happened at all.

Had there been a small, minimal, miniscule glimmer of hope in your heart that Chan’s words would be true and Joshua would tell you he liked you back? Sure. 

Had it been crushed to the point of no revival? Absolutely. 

“Oh, hey, (Y/n),” Vernon greeted you when you entered the building’s lobby after a long day of work. 

You glanced around and noted that, as per usual, the clean-up of the karaoke party was taking five days longer than the setting up. It was only natural, you supposed, as Jihoon was too busy to bother with this and Vernon – as per Junhui and Seungkwan’s accounts – was not the biggest fan of cleaning. Today, four days after the party, he was taking down the last string lights.

“I see some things never change,” you told him with a good-natured chuckle. 

Though it took him a moment to understand what you were implying, Vernon rolled his eyes once the realisation hit. “You’re welcome to come and help.”

You had walked right into that one and so you sighed. “Alright, what do you need?”

He laughed. “I was just joking. I’ve got this. I planned this entire thing anyway.”

“Wouldn’t you rather spend some time with your girlfriend?” you wondered. You could barely wrap your mind around how people with dating lives didn’t just spend all their free time cuddling and being in love.

“Ella’s fine,” he told you with a shrug. “She’s got Rocket and Mango to keep her company.” He paused for a moment before adding, “I think she’s probably sick of me, anyway.”

“Why?”

“... I ate the last ice cream.”

You snorted a laugh. “Might as well send in the divorce paperwork already.”

“Right?” he joked before raising his brows. “How about you?”

“What about me?”

“Why aren’t you at home, making googly eyes at Josh?”

You froze. Did he know about your crush? Vernon – the master of not noticing the things around him – had noticed your crush? How obvious had you been?

 “Why would I do that?” you asked after clearing your throat.

He scoffed. “Oh, come on, we all saw you at the party.”

It appeared the magical karaoke regrets would never stop haunting you. You cursed under your breath. 

Barely noting your silence, Vernon turned back to the lights but asked, “So, are you finally together? Did he finally confess?”

“Confess?”

You cringed as you felt like a broken record forced to perform, but your brain was too far in overdrive to maintain its normal operations.

“I mean, he’s been in love with you since like… forever, really,” he told you oh-so-casually, as if he was discussing the Monday paper or the weather. “I thought the dumbass would never confess. If he hadn’t, I’m sure Jeonghan and Seungkwan would’ve set up a ploy to get you to date.”

And just like that you found yourself on Chan’s sofa once again. He had only greeted you with a deep, heartfelt sigh and a nod that said he had expected this. 

As he fell next to you on the sofa, he took a sip of beer and said, “Do your thing, drama queen.”

You stayed silent, still pondering your existence and the ups and downs of your (non?)existent love life. 

Mouth agape in surprise at your lack of complaints, Chan waved a hand in front of your face. “Earth to (Y/n)? What happened? You know, it’s good to let your feelings out. I might complain about it sometimes but–”

“Vernon said Joshua has a crush on me,” you finally blurted out, staring ahead, still deep in disbelief. “It can’t be, right? He’s probably being silly. But what if he isn’t? What if he’s right? What if Joshua has a crush on me? What if he had a crush on me and then I kissed him and now he thinks I’m gross?”

It did feel good to let your feelings and thoughts out. And now they just sounded even sillier. Why? Well, because it was ridiculous – Joshua would never have a crush on you.

Chan blinked. “Vernon said that?”

“Do you think he’s right?”

He kissed his teeth. “And if I say yes?”

“Then why didn’t he say anything?” 

“Why didn’t you?”

“Because he can’t possibly like me!”

He rolled his eyes and leaned back. “There you go.”

“Why hasn’t he confessed? He could’ve told me to not apologise. He could’ve kissed me back. He could’ve–”

“Maybe he’s a coward and he’s waiting for you to confess first,” Chan guessed. “You know, kind of like how you’re doing right now.”

“You are entirely unhelpful,” you told him with a mild glare that one could almost mistake for fond. “I can’t just confess to him. Not after what happened.”

“Says who?”

“Can you stop asking questions and help me,” you whined before practically slamming your head against his shoulder in a search for comfort. “This is a serious crisis. Do you think he could actually like me?”

Chan hesitated. “You didn’t hear it from me, but…”

“But?”

“I’m pretty sure I overheard Jeonghan, Seungcheol and Joshua talking about you. And I’m pretty sure Joshua said he could never live with himself if you rejected him.”

“He did?”

“You didn’t hear it from me,” he reminded you and patted your arm in a brotherly manner. “So I say you go and confess and live happily ever after.”

You groaned. “Or miserably.”

“If that’s what you want,” he joked. “But you should still give it a try.”

“But not today though.”

“Definitely not today. You look like a mess,” he blurted. “He’d have to be pretty far gone to accept your confession, Ms Frankenstein.”

He squeezed his eyes shut and tensed as if he expected you to hit him – with an apple, you guessed – and you just scoffed out something akin to a laugh.

“I’d kick you if you weren’t such a good friend,” you told him instead and gently patted his cheek. “Thank you for putting up with me.”

[DAY 27, WEDNESDAY]

The alarm still had a few minutes before it would go off. 

You stared at Joshua as he slept soundly beside you. It was tempting to smooth down his hair and press a soft kiss to his forehead. But you had other things to do before you could do that. 

You took a deep breath and opened your lips to just whisper the words – as practice for the real confession you would definitely, 100%, certainly make in a few days – but no sound came out. 

You sighed and slumped back into your pillow. Confessing is harder than it looks in movies and books, even when he’s asleep and can’t hear you.

Joshua’s phone began ringing, notifying both him and you of the beginning of a new day. He stirred beside you. You pretended you’d been asleep this entire time.

[DAY 28, THURSDAY]

It was cold. So, so cold. Of course fate would have it that the first snowstorm of the year would hit without warning on the one day the last bus home was over an hour late. And of course it had to be on the one day when your boss asked (or, rather, begged) you to work overtime. 

But maybe fate wasn’t entirely cruel and useless, you thought as Seungcheol’s car stopped in front of the bus stop and he invited you inside with a worried smile and a wave.

“What are you doing out so late?” he wondered as he cranked the seat warmers up to the maximum. “Didn’t you watch the forecast?”

Oh. So they had issued a warning after all. 

“I’ve been a little distracted, I guess,” you told him with a sheepish laugh before thanking him for giving you a lift and wondering, “What about you? It’s not exactly driving weather.”

“Every weather is driving weather,” he joked and offered you a bright smile that for the shortest moment had you wishing you had fallen for him and not your stupidly endearing roommate. “I’m sure Joshua’s worried.”

You hadn’t even thought to check your phone until now. Frankly, judging by its recent battery life, you’d be shocked if it had any charge left at all.

“He’ll live.”

“Are you– I thought–” He hummed in thought, brows furrowing. “Are you not together?”

How you wished you were.

“No,” you sighed. “But I was going to confess tonight until, you know, my boss decided we needed those reports two days ago.”

Seungcheol nearly swerved his car in surprise. He was quick to fix his error – it went fairly smoothly with how empty the streets were this late at night. “I’m sorry. I really thought you were together. He’s been talking about you so much. I thought–”

“Apparently you’re not the only one.” You laughed. “I don’t know how he’ll feel if I do confess though. Maybe he’ll kick me out.”

“He won’t. No way,” he said and it almost sounded like a promise. “But if he does, tell me and I’ll kick his ass.”

“So you think I should confess?” 

“Do it. I think you’ll like the outcome.”

“How do you know?”

He shrugged. “Let’s just say I have some experience with love.”

[DAY 29, FRIDAY]

Back home, Joshua felt like he was going to go out of his mind. The clock on the wall was mocking him, moving forward even as his worry deepened. 

It was already almost midnight. You were usually home by 7. And yet there was no sign of you.

Sighing, he fell back onto the sofa and checked his phone again. He wasn’t sure how many times he had done that already. Fifteen? Fifty? Five hundred, perhaps? 

Still no calls back. Still no sign that you had read his messages. When he tapped on your contact to call you, it went to voicemail and he almost went insane.

“I’m sure she’s safe. She’ll be home soon,” his mother comforted him with a gentle pat on the shoulder. But her words were hard to believe when she was staying up later than usual with him, her third cup of peppermint tea sat on the coffee table in front of them.

The clock ticked midnight and Joshua jumped to his feet. “I’m going out to find her.”

“You’re going out? In this weather?” She didn’t need to use harsh words for him to know that she was scolding him. 

But he didn’t care. He couldn’t care when you weren’t home. 

So he ignored her warnings and pulled on his coat, his boots, and grabbed his car keys. 

“I’ll be back soon,” he called over his shoulder as he left the apartment. He heard her call something out to him but he couldn’t be bothered to listen when he was half-certain you were buried in a pile of snow somewhere. 

He was halfway down the stairs, somewhere between the first and second floor when he heard your voice. He could’ve sworn life returned to his veins at the sound. He sighed in relief and picked up the pace, hurrying to see you.

But then he heard another voice. Seungcheol. 

“If you like it, keep it,” the man from 5A spoke, his voice rich and low in a way Joshua just knew would have any woman weak at the knees. And how was he supposed to compete with that?

He heard you laugh – giggle, really. “That’s so sweet, Cheol.”

Cheol? Joshua almost scoffed in disbelief. It had taken him two months to get to the nickname stage with you and this man comes and reaches it in less than a month? 

He wasn’t sure what this feeling in his chest was. Anger? Bitterness? No, he was just lying to himself. He knew exactly what this feeling was: jealousy. And he’d be damned if he let this continue.

Dusting off his black wool coat, he picked up the pace again and rushed downstairs to meet you. 

The acting lessons his mother had signed him up for when he was a kid paid off now as he feigned surprise at the sight of you. Eyes widening, lips falling apart, and a gasp of air to really sell it. He ran to you from the bottom of the staircase.

“Sweetheart!” he called out as he practically tackled you in a hug. He didn’t even have to pretend as he held you close, one arm around your back and one pushing against the back of your head to keep you as close as humanly possible. “Where were you? I was so worried. Are you okay?”

You had squeaked in surprise and he almost laughed. He let you go (all the while making sure to keep one hand on your back) and asked again, “Are you okay, baby?”

You seemed to be speechless, staring at him with wide eyes full of confusion. 

Seungcheol cleared his throat and Joshua almost glared at him just to prove a point. “I should leave you with your…”

“Boyfriend,” Joshua quickly supplied with a smile he hoped came across as both friendly and venomous. You let out another squeak of surprise. 

“Right.” Seungcheol raised a single brow before sharing a funny look with you. “I’ll see you some other time then, (Y/n). And don’t let your boss make you work overtime again.”

With that, he climbed up the stairs, leaving just Joshua and you.

“You worked overtime?” Joshua wondered, visibly relaxing once Seungcheol was out of range. “How long?”

“Just until 10,” you replied but it sounded almost robotic. 

“It’s midnight,” he reminded you and took your hand to check if your hands were cold. He sighed in both relief that they were warm and disappointment that he didn’t have an excuse to play with your hands now. 

You scratched your head. “The bus was late. I don’t know if it even came.”

“So, then you called Seungcheol?” 

The implication hurt him. He thought he was your first call no matter what happened. He had been all these months, after all. Even if he sucked at reading messages, he never failed to answer the phone on the first ring. 

“I think my phone died. Cheol just happened to drive past,” you told him and, for once, he felt better. 

He sighed in relief and closed his eyes, taking the situation in. It felt like he could finally breathe and think again now that you were back home. 

“Joshua,” your voice interrupted his thoughts and he hummed, “are you okay?”

He opened his eyes and looked at you. The urge to pull you back into his arms was overwhelming. “You had me so worried.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you. I should’ve called but–”

“I can’t keep doing this.” He hadn’t meant to say it out loud. He really hadn’t. But that hadn’t stopped him at all. 

You seemed startled at his words, not in a good way. In a way that made him wonder if you ever expected anything but the worst when he spoke to you. He had to put a stop to it. 

But before he could, you scoffed. “What’s that supposed to mean? You’re acting like I do this often.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Also, what just happened with Cheol?” He wasn’t sure what had set you off, but he felt himself matching your energy, getting agitated. “Since when are you introducing yourself as my boyfriend to our neighbours? If you wanted to do that, you should have warned me.”

“I lied,” he blurted out before you could continue. “I’ve been lying to you a lot.” 

You froze. “You… You lied? What do you mean?”

He took a deep breath. “When I lied to my mom, when I told her we were dating – it wasn’t random. I said I was dating you because… I guess I just wanted it to be real. I wasn’t nervous because I lied to her. I was nervous because I thought you’d be disgusted and upset and hate me. But I’ve liked you since the day you moved in and I’ve been in love with you since the time you borrowed my sweater in August because the moths ate all of yours.”

“You like me?” you asked dumbly and he actually laughed.

Joshua nodded. “I’m in love with you in a way I didn’t think I could ever be with anyone.”

“And… you’re choosing to confess now?” You glanced around at the empty lobby, only a single sconce lamp lighting the way into the building. “Here? Like this? Why?”

“Seungcheol–”

Your jaw dropped. “Because you’re jealous?!”

Joshua scratched the back of his neck and avoided your eyes. He didn’t have a single excuse. He was an impulsive man. He rarely thought of the consequences or even of what he was doing in that moment. Especially when it came to you. He looked down at his feet.

“I mean,” you continued with a chuckle, “I guess I’m no better. I kissed you at the karaoke just because I thought you were pretty.”

“I should’ve kissed you back,” he told you earnestly. 

You blinked. And then you blinked again. Then he saw a mischievous glint in your eye. “You should. Right now.”

You couldn’t have been serious. He didn’t think you were. There was no way.

“You can’t just confess to me like this and then not kiss me,” you told him and you didn’t sound mad at him. “You owe me that much after that scene with Seungcheol and confessing to me in the building lobby, Mr Gentleman.”

Who was he to argue? 

Taking another long gulp of air, he leaned closer. Slowly, centimetre by centimetre, unsure if you were serious or not. 

It was his turn to squeak in surprise when you grabbed him by the collar of his shirt coat and pulled him closer to kiss his lips. 

“So,” he wondered, voice soft and dazed, when you pulled away, “you like me back?”

“You can ask Chan for proof, if you want,” you simply told him before kissing him again. 

He didn’t care to ask for an explanation. Not when he was finally getting everything he wanted.

 [DAY 30, SUNDAY]

Turns out fake dating becomes a lot easier when you just actually date. Who could’ve guessed?

The agony of sharing your bed and being pushed against the wall no matter the size of your mattress was replaced with the domestic joy of being able to cuddle your boyfriend. By the second night of dating Joshua, you had found your favourite position was letting him lie half on top of you, his head resting against your chest at the perfect angle to play with his hair. 

The awkward breakfasts full of lies… Well, they still had a few emergency lies here and there, but for the most part it was stealing bites off his plate and nudging each other while giggling as his mother watched you with a mildly amused look on her face.

And the kisses. You couldn’t get enough of the kisses and neither could the butterflies in your stomach, still fluttering the same as they had during your first kiss even now as he kissed you for the fiftieth time (yes, you had kept count). 

It was only a shame that the real dating started so late into the scheme. After only two days of domestic bliss, it was time for his mother to pack her bags and go home.

Dressed in a warm coat and wrapped in a large scarf, she offered her son a warm hug, whispering endearments and gentle scoldings into his ear as you waited in the lobby. You suspected her taxi driver had fallen asleep by now.  

She then gave you a hug as well. A short and sweet one with a warning to treat her son well. And then she added, “Oh, before I forget, I left something on the kitchen table for you. Read it later, okay?”

You nodded and sent her off with a smile.

Joshua joined your side, resting a hand on your back (a new habit of his that you didn’t quite mind). He wore a smile.

“What did she tell you?” you asked him. “When you were hugging.”

“Told me to stop leaving the toilet seat up,” he told you and you suspected it was only half the truth. “What about you?”

“She said she left something on the kitchen table for us to read.”

He paused. “A book?”

“You think? What if it’s a poem?”

“Maybe a letter?”

“It’s possible.” 

You shared a look. His mother’s taxi barely managed to leave your sight before you and your boyfriend (you could never get enough of calling him that) were dashing up the stairs to solve the mystery.

True enough, there was a white envelope on the table.

“Maybe it’s pocket money,” you guessed as you picked the envelope up. “For hosting her or something.”

“If it is, you should give it to me,” he told you and you weren’t entirely sure he was joking. “There’s a hole in my bank account because of you.”

“You’re never letting that go, are you?” you sighed and opened the envelope. You were pleasantly surprised to find out you had been right – a handful of cash had been stashed into the envelope, probably enough to cover your rent for the month.

Barely bothering to hide his smirk, Joshua extended a palm. You gave him a look. Stared at him. Then sighed and placed the cash in his hand. He smiled bright and put it away in his pocket.

But the cash wasn’t all. There was a folded piece of paper. A letter.

You opened it, half-expecting a scolding or a motherly warning. But this letter – as short as it was sweet – exceeded all expectations.

Sweethearts

I hope you know I’m not unwise. I know all about your little scheme – neither of you are very good actors. Joshua, you should know better than to lie to your mother. 

But it was entertaining and I am glad to have given you some incentive to finally take the proper steps and start dating. You make a cute couple when you’re not acting. 

Can’t wait to see you two again soon

Your jaw dropped. 

“What does it say?” Joshua wondered, leaning over your shoulder to read. He let out a scoff soon afterwards. “She can be so mean.”

“She knew this whole time?” you cried out.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I should’ve known. It was too easy.”

“I mean, I thought she was suspicious of us, but this?”

“Do we really suck at acting this much?”

“Whatever,” you sighed and put the letter down. “I’m going to sleep. I can’t handle an existential crisis right now.”

“Right, let’s go sleep,” Joshua agreed, leading you away from the kitchen with a gentle tug on your arm. 

It was only when you were stood in front of the two bedroom doors, nearly identical and stood side by side, that you paused and a realisation hit. 

Was it appropriate to share a bed anymore? Surely Joshua would want to go back to his own room now that it was free again? 

You almost groaned out loud: you had thought the doubts and useless problems would cease after the confession. Everything was good and great and wonderful, so why were the stupid worries back?

Having probably reached the same conclusion, Joshua seemed just as stumped. He stared at his bedroom door for a while and you were certain he’d go to sleep in his own bed for the night, ending your most favourite part of newfound domestic bliss.

“I paid for the bed,” he suddenly said with a laugh and gently pushed you towards your room, following closely after. “You’re not getting rid of me now, sweetheart.”

“So you’re just inviting yourself into my room now?” you joked, nudging his side before letting yourself fall onto the bed. 

He laid down next to you, resting his head on his arm after rolling to his side to face you. He grinned. “It’s our room now.”

You loved the sound of that and you were certain he could see it on your face.

“So what will we do with your room?”

Joshua pondered for a moment. “We could turn it into a guest room. something tells me mom’s going to want to visit again soon.”

You paled at the mention of her. “I don’t think I can ever look her in the eyes again.”

“Me neither,” he sighed and leaned over to hide his face in the crook of your neck. “Let’s not think about it any more.”

“You’re the one that brought her up!” You laughed.

“Let’s just go to sleep,” he said. “I love you.”

The butterflies went crazy. You couldn’t and wouldn’t fight the smile that appeared on your face. “I love you too.”

[kmgkmg]

LOVE FOOL - CHOI SEUNGCHEOL

word count: 0.6k…

pairing: seungcheol x gn!reader

synopsis: you and your boyfriend are out and about being affectionate and just obnoxiously cute!

genre/s: fluff, non-idol!au, bf!seungcheol, established relationship, domestic

warnings: none!

rating: pg

a/n: title is taken from the song love fool by exo! the fic is largely based on this pic hehe <3 first seungcheol fic so hope yall enjoy it!

“Doesn’t that sculpture look like a bunch of grapes?” Seungcheol asks you, pointing to the abstract sculpture in the near distance. 

“It does!” You agree excitedly at his discovery, to which your boyfriend lights up.

He lets his eyes wander on the sculpture for a while more before continuing to walk. The two of you were out for another one of your sweet dates, walking around the city after watching a movie at the theaters. 

Still standing in front of the sculpture, you call out to him, “Let me take some pics of you in front of it.”

He turns back, seeing you motion him over with your hands. “In front of this?” 

“Yeah! It has its own artistic aesthetic, no? Perfect for Instagram.” You explain whilst enthusiastically pulling your phone out in preparation. There were several passersby, but you continued to be unaffected by their stares, solely focused on your boyfriend.  

Seungcheol sees how much you want to take his pictures and lightly jogs back over to you. He’s used to your antics, well aware of how much you enjoyed taking pictures to remember the events of the day.

“There it is, Cheol! Your perfect smile.” 

He notices that you’re grinning from ear to ear. Seungcheol always thought your smile was infectious, but today proved it once again. Unable to contain his own joy, his smile only grows wider at your happiness. He poses with great focus, starting to care less and less about the people around you. 

“Now silly poses!” You direct him, acting playful behind your phone’s camera. He covers his mouth slightly with his hand, trying his best to stifle his laughter. 

An elderly couple approaches you, undetected by you since you were determined to take the best photos of Seungcheol. Seungcheol’s smile falters slightly at the strangers walking to you, stopping his poses. 

“Young love,” the elderly man starts, “this is the best time. Let us take pictures of the two of you together! You resemble my partner and I when we first started dating.” 

You finally look away from Seungcheol, diverting your attention to the source of the words just spoken. An elderly man stood behind you, waiting for your reply to his offer with a small smile and a hint of nostalgia behind it. The couple were still linking arms, clearly in love with each other. Your gaze drifted to their hands, noticed the wrinkled state of them, but both were wearing well-kept rings around their ring fingers. 

“Aw, we would love that!” You answer warmly, carefully passing your phone to him. 

Having not been able to hear your conversation, Seungcheol is frozen in front of the sculpture. You head in his direction, an action that only confuses him more. The puzzlement on his face makes you smirk, before filling him in. Seungcheol nods, moving over so that both of you are centered in the photo. 

He glances over to you beside him, still beaming with a peace sign placed near your face. On the count of three, Seungcheol turns and places a quick peck on your cheek. He loved giving you wet kisses, so he ended the kiss with a loud smooch. Your head whips in his direction, putting your hand up to your face to feel the wetness he left. 

Faking disgust, you rub his spit off your face. “Gross!” 

“What can I say? You make me a fool, Y/N.” Seungcheol shrugs, looking back towards your phone. 

Without missing a beat, you reply to him. “A fool? Then, call me a love fool since I’m completely in love with you.” 

You look at each other adoringly, happy to have met.

“Say cheese!” The elderly man’s spouse instructs, making you both tense up, realizing how distracted you were. 

Seungcheol mumbles through his smile, “That makes two love fools.”

[bunnyjunmyeonie]

Blog Navigation and Fic Recs Masterlist

Note:- All of the works listed below DO NOT belong to me. Credits to the talented authors who wrote them.

Groups:- EXO

Kim Junmyeon / Suho

The Book Of The Dead By @marshmallow-phd

Case File 01 By @xiubaek-13

Not Without Her (Series, Smut) By @myeoning-call

Drabbe Prompt By @decantingstxrs

Kinktober Day 31, Junmyeon (Smut) by @itstheoneshot

Hard Enough (Freinds to lovers, suggestive) by @writemekpop

Snowed Up (Smut) By @bluenereid

Day After Day By @chaecchi

Doctor's Orders (M) by @prettywordsyouleft

Junmyeon Smut By @bluenereid

A Pleasant Way To Beat Boredom, a Junmyeon Drabble by @seawitch62

One Week

Junmyeon Drabble By @kpop---scenarios

Junmyeon Drabble By @itstheoneshot

Junmyeon Request Prompt (Smut)By @yeoldontknow

The Pact by @gamerwoo

Stranded By @noona-clock

Halloween Rumors By @noona-clock

Junmyeon Smut Drabble By @gamerwoo

Junmyeon Request prompt By @biaswreckingfics

Junmyeon Request Prompt By @biaswreckingfics

Junmyeon (Exes To Lovers) Request Prompt By @biaswreckingfics

Replay (Smut, Mature Themes) By @yeoldontknow

Park Chanyeol

The Greatest Gift (Smut) By @wonderlustlucas

Business favours (Smut) By @itschanyeolfic-blog

Free Spirits (Series, Smut) By @exoheadspace

Police Officer AU (Smut) by @seungcheolsthighsss

Dating Park Chanyeol Headcannon By @you-can-be-the-moonlight

Chanyeol Prompt by @lustbile

Bitten By a Spider (Smut) by @byunbhyunz

Oh Sehun

Do Kyungsoo

Chen / Kim Jongdae

Providence (Fake Boyfriend! Chen, a little smut) By @xiubaek-13

Tinted Lips AU (Series, Smut) by @myeoning-call

Kai / Kim Jongin

If Only By @iridescentxstars

Brat By @sinnerforexo

Byun Baekhyun

Let Me In By @xiubaek-13

Heartless By @soujougeurilla

Blindly In Love by @myeoning-call

Xiumin / Kim Minseok

Case File 99 By @xiubaek-13

Far, Far Away by @mrkswrld

Lay / Zhang Yixing

Lu Han

So Handsome (Implied Smut) by @xiubaek-13

Masterlist Posts Of Other Fic Writers:-

Mobile Masterlist Of @marshmallow-phd

Masterlist Of @pesiko

Masterlist Of @hobicomeholla29

Lost In Translation Masterlist By @xiubaek-13

Masterlist Of @oh-beyond aka @myeoning-call

Reading List Of @baekxytocin (Baekhyun fics)

Masterlist Of @byunstation

Masterlist Of @iibonniee

Turn Masterlist (BBH, KJM, KJI, PCY) by @kpop---scenarios

KJM and ZYX by @bluenereid

Kinktober Masterlist Of @mint-yooxgi

Masterlist of @chanyeolsbiggestfangirl

[just-some-random-blogger]

kpop masterlist

🍓 = fluff themes

❄️ = angst themes

🚧 = smut themes

���‍♀️ = slice of life / bish idek what theme this is

🚀 = crack fic themes

🎩 = dark and/or violent themes

🏩 = genre fic, i.e. mystery, horror, fantasy, etc

🍳 = slow burn

🦕 = personal favorite

back to main masterlist

A.C.E.

Memory | 🍓❄️🦕 Kim Byeongkwan x Reader + Park Junhee x Reader (University AU) [Blurb]

Ateez

Only One | 🍓❄️❄️❄️🍳🦕 CEO!Choi San x Reader

BigBang

It’s An Act [WBU I] | ❄️ Choi Seunghyun (TOP) x Reader

Smoke | 🍓🤸‍♀️ Choi Seunghyun (TOP) x Reader

BTS

Runaway | 🍓❄️🏩 Mafia!Kim Seokjin (Jin) x Reader (Mafia AU) Preview 1 2 3 4 x

Mah Boyfriend | 🍓🍓🤸‍♀️🦕 Jung Jungkook x Idol!Reader

BTOB

Hidden Heart | 🍓🍓🍓🤸‍♀️🚀🍳 Lee Minhyuk (HUTA) x Idol!Reader [Headcanon]

Day6

A University Dilemma | 🤸‍♀️ Kang Younghyun (Young-K) x Reader (Univeristy AU)

What A Joke | ❄️ Kang Younghyun (Young K) x Reader + Park Jaehyung x Reader (University AU) [Blurb]

So... Haha... I Like You | 🍓🦕 Park Jaehyung x Reader (Fake Dating AU)

EXO

Wheel Of Fortune | 🍓🍳🚀 Park Chanyeol x Reader [Headcanon]

Welcome To The Jungle | 🚀🚀🚀🏩 Park Chanyeol & Oh Sehun (Jungle AU)

Maybe We Still Have A Shot [WBU III] | 🍓🍓🏩 CatHybid!Oh Sehun x Reader (University AU)

Unrequited Attraction | 🚧🏩🍳🦕 Mafia!Kim Jongdae (Chen) x Retail Worker!Reader

Color Palette | 🍓 Byun Baekhyun x Reader [Blurb]

Brown Leaves | 🍓 Kim Jongin (Kai) x Reader (University AU)

GOT7

One Million In One Day | 🍓🍓❄️❄️🍳 Sugar Daddy!Jackson Wang x Reader Preview ~ Alternate Moodboard ~ Moodboard Teaser  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 

Car Rides | 🍓 Jackson Wang x Reader [Blurb]

Juice Box | 🍓🚀🏩🦕 Kunpimook Bhuwakul Bambam x Reader [Blurb] (Pre-Schooler AU)

Somewhere In Between | ❄️❄️Civil Engineer!Park Jinyoung x Reader + Architect!Henry Lau x Reader

Trading Secrets | 🍓🍓 Kim Yugyeom x WangSis!Reader

JYJ

Winning Losses | ❄️ Kim Jaejoong x Idol!Reader

Monsta X

Introspect | 🍓🤸‍♀️ Lee Jooheon x Reader [Blurb]

Letting Off Steam | 🤸‍♀️ Lee Hoseok (Wonho) x ArtStudent!Reader (University AU)

NCT

Seventeen

December Dates | 🍓🚀 bf!Seventeen x Reader [Headcanon]

The Stroke Of Midnight | 🍓❄️🏩🦕 Mafia!Kwon Soonyoung (Hoshi) x Reader

Here's My Problem: I Can't Get You Out Of My Head | ❄️❄️❄️🎩🎩🎩🏩🍳🦕 Detective!Jeon Wonwoo x Actress!Reader

10 Ways To Get Over Gyu | 🍓❄️❄️❄️🍳🍳🦕 Kim Mingyu x Reader + others (Childhood AU)

Half Of My Heart | 🍓❄️🤸‍♀️🍳 Kim Mingyu x Reader + Jeon Wonwoo x Reader (CEO AU)

On A Thread | ❄️❄️ CEO!Joshua Hong (Hong Jisoo) x Nurse!Reader

SF9

A Final Offering | 🍓🍓❄️🏩🦕 Deity!Kim Inseong & Child!Reader + Baek Juho (Zuho) x Mom  

What Does It Mean? | 🍓❄️🤸‍♀️ Kim Inseong x Reader + Lee Jaeyoon x Reader (University AU) 

16th Floor | 🍓🤸‍♀️ Kim Seokwoo (Rowoon) x Reader (Office AU)

SHINee

Understand This |❄️ Choi Minho x Reader I Don’t Understand [Understand This II] | ❄️ Choi Minho x Reader

It’s All A Big Joke [WBU II] | ❄️ Lee Taemin x Reader

Th-that’s Not | ❄️❄️🚧🦕 Lee Taemin x Reader Regrets [Th-that’s Not II] | ❄️ Lee Taemin x Reader

Angel Bride | ❄️🚧🏩🦕 Pirate!Lee Taemin x Reader

Noona, You're So Pretty | 🍓 Lee Taemin x Noona!Reader

Stray Kids

Professional Boundaries | 🍓❄️🚧🦕 CEO!Bang Chan x Pre-School Teacher!Reader + CEO!Hwang Hyunjin x Pre-School Teacher!Reader 1 2 3 4 

Bootylicious | 🍓🚀 Bang Chan x Idol!Reader

Super Junior

The Soup | 🍓🍓🚀🚀 SuJu x SuJu Maknae!Reader [Headcanon]

Secrets Of A Maknae | 🍓🚀🚀 Kim Heechul x SuJuMaknae!Reader

The Boyz

Gentle With Me | 🍓🍓🤸‍♀️ Lee Sangyeon x Reader

TVXQ!

Pitter-Patter | 🍓 Jung Yunho (U-Know) x Reader (Pre-School Teacher AU)

The Art Of Deception | ❄️🎩🏩 Shim Changmin x Reader (Secret Agent/Spy AU)

TXT

Forget About It | 🍓❄️🤸‍♀️🍳🦕 Choi Soobin x Reader (University AU)  

WINNER

I’m Not Playing | 🍓❄️❄️ Gangster!Song Minho (Mino) x Reader 1 2 3 

[justwritedreams]

Upcoming works

Updating the list for everyone who is interested in knowing what I've been writing lately:

REQUESTS I have a bit of a creative block so that's why it's taking a little longer sorry In fact, if you can help me with some of these, I'll be grateful!

NCT Kun pilot au

Sehun fluff angst dating a younger reader (they both want to build a family together but don't know that yet)

Facetime calls with exo members

Kai suggestive angst with a tiny 👌🏻voyeurism🤯

Idol Sehun x Idol Y/N

Suho mafia au

NEW IMAGINES

San mafia au (I said I was going to post it with Jaehyun but yeah, I changed it again)

Jongho dystopia au based on the movie The day after tomorrow (changed that one too)

Wooyoung fake dating au

Next chapter of Welcome to the kingdom

Mark fluff au

[cherryeol04]

Looking for RP Partner

💖Intro💖

 Hello wonderful people! 👋

I'm looking for some roleplay partners. I don't really have a limit on how many I want to take in or anything, so if you're interested, then let me know in the dms! But before you message me, please kindly read the following notes about me and what I'm looking for. Even if you don't meet all the criteria, I'm more than willing to give you a chance! Though age is a hard requirement that has to be met! Anything with a * next to it is a requirement I’m looking for in a partner.

Most, if not all roleplays will be NSFW

Yes, it'll have some spicy times in it, but it's mostly deemed NSFW because of the themes I like to write.

Dark themes, triggering situations, adult content - everything, of course, will be preplanned with long discussions of triggering topics, hard limits and such.

🔞 Partners must be at least 19+!🔞*

My style is 3rd pov, past tense.

I’m looking for someone who also does 3rd pov, past tense, but I will also accept present tense as well!

Semi to Literate*

I love long replies and I do enjoy giving them as well. However, I understand that sometimes you can't always give long responses, and that's okay too. I just ask no one-liners

Currently looking for MxM pairings and plots!*

I do not stick to one plot!

This just means I'm open to having more than one plot going with many different face claims. So if you would like to plot a pirate au with Hongjoong from Ateez and a wolf au with Chanyeol from EXO, I'm the person for you!

Currently there is no limit for the amount of plots I will do with one person.

I control more than one character

This is different from god-modding

This just means that in our plot, I can (and prefer) to control more than one character. So while my main face claim may be Chan from Stray Kids, I may also play Felix and Seungmin to add a little more substance and character development to the plot. 

While I would like for you to also have more than one character, I don’t expect it of you if you’re not comfortable with it. 

With regards to NPCs (the barista working at the café they visit, or the random people they meet along the way), either one of us can control them at any time as long as it’s to move the plot along.

Preferred platforms:

Line

Discord

As of right now, I think that's everything. Again, if you're interested, pm me! If you have any questions, also pm me!!

⚜ OC Information ⚜

Age: 25+

Time zone: -5 EST

Work Schedule: Mon-Fri 8-5

Replies may be sporadic throughout the week, with the majority of replies coming in the evening time.

Weekends will bring more replies, unless I have plans with friends/family or I’m on call for work

My face claims are never set. So if you're looking for a specific person, please review the list of face claims I rp and let me know. Otherwise I'll base my face claims on what the plot is.

❣ Preferred Plots, Themes & Genres ❣

Fantasy Au

Omegaverse AU / Wolf Au / ABO Au

Fluff, Romance, Humor

Horror

Dystopian AU

Post-Apocalyptic AU

Academy Au

Boss/Employee AU

College/University AU

Disney Movie AU

Mafia/Gang Au

Magic AU

Pirates AU

Royalty AU

Soulmate AU

Mythology

Tropes:

Arranged Marriage

Class Difference

Exes to Lovers

Fake/Pretend Relationships

First’s (date, kiss, ect.)

Forbidden Love

Male Pregnancy

Polyamory

String of Fate

💫 Face Claims 💫

*There is no specific faceclaim I want at the moment. Most of my face claims will be male. Looking for more Stray Kids plots!!!*** The 🌸 next to the name indicates my preferred face claim from that group.**

EXO

Chanyeol

Baekhyun🌸

Cen

Suho

Sehun

GOT7

Mark🌸

Yugyeom

Nu’est

Minhyun

Ren🌸

Stray Kids

Chan

Hyunjin

Jisung🌸

Seungmin

Minho

Vixx

N🌸

Hongbin

Hyuk

🖋 Writing Samples 🖋

OC Character - Kayden Park

Kayden was overjoyed. He hadn’t thought tulips would grow at this time of the year, but entering the garden he found a wide variety of them, pristine and in full bloom. They were the one flower that Kayden had really hoped would grow because after he read what their meanings were, he knew almost instantly who he wanted to give them to.

Specifically the red tulips.

Some might say he falls too easily and others might say he loves too hard. But in reality, Kayden couldn’t control who he was or how he felt about people. When he found someone he liked, he became attached to them, trying to be as close as possible while nurturing their growing relationship - whatever it might be. Even if that person got on his nerves all the time, or they ended up doing things that very honestly scared him, ending a relationship just wasn’t in Kayden’s vocabulary.

Red tulips symbolize true love, or a soulmate. Kayden had a specific person in mind and while he wouldn’t say it was true love - hell Atreyu could barely stand him in a good - he did think the other was his soulmate. Despite their ups and downs and the multitude of times he was locked out of the dorm and left to fend for himself for the night, Kayden knew that what he had with Atreyu was special - indescribable even.

And while he couldn’t find the words, he knew the flowers would do the best job. So after carefully plucking five of the tulips, he handed back inside and to his room where he had left his roommate. Atreyu had been in one of his moods again, refusing to speak to Kayden, so hopefully the flowers would double as something to cheer him up.

“Atreyu~!” he sang happily as he opened the door, hoping he hadn’t disturbed the other but knowing he probably did. He braced himself to be hit with a pillow or something, even a “go away” in his harsh and icy tone. But when he got no greeting in return, Kayden took a moment to actually look around the room.

It was empty.

And not just in a way that said Atreyu left to go mope somewhere. It was truly empty. The smile on his face slowly fell as he stepped into the room. His bed was made, but it lacked a lived-in feel - as if a maid had come in and just fixed the bed to make it look presentable. The nightstand next to the bed was barren, everything Atreyu had kept there gone.

Kayden didn’t want to jump to conclusions but his mind was already racing. He crossed the space quickly and yanked open the drawers. Barren. Turning, he moved to the closet next and opened it. Nothing. Everything that had belonged to Atreyu was gone.

He was gone.

As Kayden stood there, reality slowly came crashing down as he realized he was alone. No note. No text. No goodbye. He clenched the tulips tightly in his hand before releasing them and letting them drop to the floor.

Stupid.

He had been so stupid and this is what he got.

Silently, Kayden walked over to his bed and sat down on it gingerly, eyes staring blankly ahead.

Alone.

No matter what he did, he was always going to be alone.

-----------------

ABO AU - Chan, Jisung, Seungmin, Changbin

Jisung laughed and nodded, pulling back some from the other. “Tonight…supposedly.” He said and shrugged. “But my body has been weird lately, so it may hold off another day. I hope it does cause I wanna be able to spend time with you. It’s been so long.”

Jisung had honestly missed the omega. He hadn’t seen Hyunjin since the night of the attack. The last thing Jisung could recall was rolling on top of Hyunjin to protect him from the blade before calling for help. Chan had told him already that if it weren’t for him, Hyunjin probably would have ended up dying. 

So if that meant Jisung suffered from nightmares and a sore side (with a near death experience of his own), then so be it. It was worth it. 

He grunted when Felix suddenly tackled them both, hugging them tightly. “Yeah! What Lixie said.” He said and whined. “Felix, my side.” He hissed softly. 

Chan watched the three, smiling fondly. He walked over and patted Felix’s head gently. “Come in Lix, be careful with them.” He said gently. “They’re both still healing.” 

Seungmin peeked his head out of the kitchen before hiding once more, afraid to face Hyunjin. He felt so guilty still for turning his back on the omega so fast. Things from that had been hectic, chaotic. Feelings were hurt, people were hurt and Seungmin may have chosen the wrong side. 

He still fully believed how things were handled was inexcusable and that was mostly on Chan’s part but knowing the other was Hyunjin’s soulmate and seeing first hand what a soulmate bond looked like through Jisung and Minho, Seungmin sort of understood where everyone was coming from. It couldn’t be helped, the attraction.

He wanted to apologize for being such an ass but he was afraid Hyunjin wouldn’t accept it. He didn’t want to cause discourse in the pack because the others seemed so hellbent on getting Hyunjin in the pack and they were happy. He would be happy too, he just wasn’t sure if Hyunjin would be happy around him. 

Meanwhile, Changbin made his exit from the kitchen and smiled. “We’ll looky here.” He called. “Chan really did bring us a present.” He teased. 

If you have made this far down, thank you so much!!! If you're interested at all in rping, please send me a dm or an ask! I'm looking for long term partners to create beautiful worlds together! 💖

[misswoozi]

REVERSE SCENARIO GAME! 📝

I'll give you guys a list of AUs/prompts + a group and y'all send me a scenario/headcanon/idea (SFW or NSFW!) for the ship you think it fits best!

college AU + TXT

neighbors AU + SHINee

Avatar the Last Airbender AU + NCT 127

magic AU + NCT Dream

paranormal investigator AU + WayV

royalty AU + Day6

coffee shop AU + EXO

vampire AU + Blackpink

Pokémon AU + ATEEZ

bar AU + EXID

apocalypse AU + Monsta X

fake dating AU + Gfriend

celebrity AU + SNSD

[forever-once-gone]

Kpop Fic Recs

(fics, drabbles, asks, just any sort of fiction really)

*tags tend to overlap*

*if the links aren’t working, go to the tags and click to the tag you’d like to explore. the links are just links to tag pages, so whether you use the links or the tags, it’s the same thing either way*

BTS:

Kim Seokjin - #jin fic rec

Min Yoongi - #yoon fic rec

Jung Hoseok - #hobi fic rec

Kim Namjoon - #joon fic rec

Park Jimin - #chim fic rec

Kim Taehyung - #tae fic rec

Jeon Jungkook - #koo fic rec

Poly(some members)/ot7(all members) - #bts poly fic rec or #bts ot7 fic rec

EXO:

*I don’t know EXO really, but since I have read and enjoyed fics featuring them, I have included them on this list.  So, please, don’t hate me for not knowing them ;-; (I will get to know them better eventually!)*

Poly(some members)/ot9(all members) - #exo poly fic rec or #exo ot9 fic rec

Park Chanyeol - #chanyeol fic rec

Kim Jongin - #jongin fic rec

Aus:

abo/omegaverse - #abo au fic rec

artificial intelligence/ai - #ai au fic rec

arranged marriage - #arranged marriage au fic rec

bad boy - #bad boy au fic rec

demon - #demon au fic rec

fake dating/marriage - #fake dating marriage au fic rec

fantasy/supernatural - #fantasy au fic rec or #supernatural au fic rec

hanahaki - #hanahaki au fic rec

hybrid - #hybrid au fic rec

idol/celebrity - #idol au fic rec

mafia/gang - #mafia gang au fic rec

married - #married au fic rec

office/ceo - #office au fic rec

royalty - #royalty au fic rec

soulmate - #soulmate au fic rec

sugar daddy/sugar momma/sugaring - #sugar daddy au fic rec

vampire - #vampire au fic rec

werewolf - #werewolf au fic rec

yandere - #yandere au fic rec

[ohhmydyosfics]

(Sesoo) i feel it at once

Tired of being the object of everyone’s sympathy after his recent breakup, Sehun asks Kyungsoo to pretend they’re dating.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/9118309

[fuckyeahexofics]

Pls... Any Junmyeon birthday special...? Of the best Junmyeon fics? Or even if they're not the best, just anything you like.. Pls I miss my baby so much :(((

200523

check this post out!!

list from 2018′s Suho & Tao birthday project

and here are some of my personal fav Myeon fics!!

in this picturesque place (fiction become reality) (Junmyeon/Sehun, PG-15, canon)

Hold my hand just a little longer (Junmyeon/Chanyeol, PC-15, fakedating!au)

Leader (Junmyeon/Jongdae, NC-17, canon, check the warnings)

-nav

some “new” ones from me~ (aka ones I read recently)

Band Ten Hut (Junmyeon-centric, PG) in bloom (Junmyeon/Irene, drabble, G) Just fucking rain and get it over with (Minseok/Junmyeon, roommates!au, R) Real People Who Pissed Off Demons (And Paid for It) series (Yifan/Junmyeon, Yixing/Baekhyun, Minseok/Luhan, Jongdae/Tao, demon!au, R, check warnings) until golden brown and fluffy (Junmyeon/Baekhyun, fantasy, G) Surely It Should Never, Ever End (Junmyeon/Jongin, fantasy, PG) Your Tiny Hyung (Junmyeon/Chanyeol/Sehun, PG)

-jen (I miss him too, maybe I'll give him more of a spotlight in my new fic...)

[moonbelt]

»whiplash | 05

↳ fake dating au | college au

⇢ pairing: chanyeol | reader

⇢ genre: slight angst + fluff + sexual themes

⇢ word count: 8.471

⇢ description: as an aspiring big-shot photographer in a slump, you’re looking for something that inspires you and unfortunately — or maybe not — it comes in the form of a guy named Chanyeol.

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 [final]

There was nothing particularly fascinating about love — in your opinion. To be frank, you thought the whole experience of butterflies in your stomach, fire in your veins as you fell in love was one of the most ridiculous clichés ever created.

The idea of love, at first sight, was amusing to the say the least. Everyone wants to believe in things written between starry nights and coffee dates. But at this point in life, you'd resigned yourself to think that kind of love only existed through the confines of recorded videos and fabled literature. Why build yourself up only to have it ripped apart?

But here's the thing about preconceived ideas. There's an eighty-twenty percent chance that your preconceived conceptions are wrong.

Relationships were just another type of addiction that gradually pulled you under until you lost who you were among someone else. And it was always something you'd thought people had fallen into willingly. People claimed they wanted love and friendship, but when it came down to it, all they really wanted was to change and control each other. To have someone put them on this grand pedestal. To have a distraction from being alone so they wouldn't have to take a hard look at themselves.

In the name of love, people do stupid things and hold on to beliefs that are in every sense of the word; broken—and even hazardous to their wellbeing. You swore you wouldn't be like one of those people. You regulated your interactions with anyone you felt even an inkling of a connection with. You rationalized everything you felt to mean something smaller. You didn't rely on them for anything and that made you stronger and more ineffable.

You'd accidentally fallen in love before, and all it did was cement your theory about intimate attachments equaling weakness. You had firsthand experience of how letting down your guard bruised you more than you could handle. And you didn't — couldn't — go through that again.

And yet, all those convictions swirling in your head do nothing to stop you from standing outside the one person that threatens to dismantle all your theories front door. Here he stands right in front of you, looking at you with a mix of disbelief and — you're not sure, vulnerability?

All the oxygen in the room evaporates to somewhere you don't know as Chanyeol moves closer into your space. Well, his space if you're being technical. You're the one intruding on his turf. Did he get taller and broader since you last saw him three weeks ago? You're not sure, but his frame takes up all the air around you and your mind short circuits for a minute or two.

It grates on you that your body still reacts when you see him and that your heart still gets so excited from being in mere breadths away from him.

"In the neighborhood and thought you'd stop by and say hello?" He's the first to break this stalemate silence and you recognize the sarcasm and thinly laced anger dripping from his tone, his eyes not once straying away from yours.

"No, I came to talk to you," as a second thought you add. "If that's okay."

You understood his anger. Heck, if the situations were reversed you doubt you wouldn't be snarky and sarcastic to him as well. He pushes himself past you and slides his keys into the door, his entire demeanor closed off. "Do what you want, but you should have called first. I have stuff to do."

He pulls his front door open and angles his head behind him to look down at you, waiting for you to say something in response.

"I... I didn't think I would be here today."

Your voice falters a bit but you refuse to back down. Even though being near him makes your insides want to burn. You came here to say something and goddamit, you're not leaving until you say it. Even if he doesn't care about it anymore.

"Look, [Y/N], I don't — we shouldn't do this." He steps into his apartment and now it feels like you are divided.

You look at your surroundings. You don't want anyone to just walk out and hear the two of you, for what its worth, you still have a smidgen of pride remaining. "Can we talk inside?"

"I'm not sure there's anything we need to talk about," he crosses his hands across his chest. "You made it clear that you didn't want to see me."

You feel so small and so stupid and although you're not one to usually regret your decisions. You find yourself doing exactly that. "I'm sorry, Chanyeol." You really are but now that you're standing face to face with him, the words that you had practiced in your head have faded into nothing. And your apology sounds weaker than you thought it could be.

Chanyeol closes his eyes, breathing in for a moment and you take this time to really look at him. His hoodie is three times too big for him and his hair doesn't look like it's seen a brush in days. He doesn't look that good. Not bad or deprived...just not good. Just not how he usually he does. It's light, but the shade deeper circles under his eyes tell you that he hasn't been as well off as you had originally thought. To be frank, he looks dead-tired. He steps away from his door and motions for you to walk in.

Unlike the last time you came over, there are no stray track pants littering the floor. In fact, his apartment looks impeccably clean. And for a moment you accommodate the idea that maybe he hasn't been hanging in here more than necessary. The pit in your stomach digs harder, making a house.

Another round of uncanny silence slips above the two of you. And although you had this fire burning through you earlier to have this conversation with him, now you're not ready for what's to come. "Can I, uh, use your bathroom?"

He raises an eyebrow at that but doesn't say anything to it. "Knock yourself out."

You try not to scamper to the bathroom but you're sure it must still appear that way to him regardless. Ah, shit. You're tempted to call Sehun for an impromptu pep talk. Or better yet Kyungsoo. Sehun's great and all but you need some quick words to raise your confidence bar.

You shut the bathroom door and lean against it, hoping that the few minutes you spend here would be able to help you figure out what you needed — wanted — to say. Thoughts and emotions collide catastrophically in your head and you're afraid your nervousness would render you incoherent if you don't get a grasp on the situation soon. You lean over to the sink and click it on, dousing your face repeatedly with cold water. You pat your cheeks and will your heart and mind to still for just one moment. You can do this. You've come this far ahead already, you can't back down now.

When you return to the living room, Chanyeol is standing in front of the kitchen's island, his bottom lip trapped between his teeth and his attention focused solely on the notepad in front of him. He's furiously writing away and for a moment you're tempted to not disturb him.

You've seen him write a few times and no matter how many times you do, it still manages to mesmerize you all the same. You could watch him do this until the wee hours of the morning — not asking questions and never interrupting his work. You silently adore him — his intense focus and attention to emotion and details and then, out of nowhere or maybe out of somewhere really deep within you. You realize this unabated truth: that you love this man, and that it has drowned you.

Because of this, you decide that you need to use this tension stringing and knotting together in your stomach for good. So, you clear your throat and alert him to your presence.

He looks up from his work and a small but somber tilt peeks out on his lips. And a sharp pang filters through you, your fingers suddenly more jittery than before. "So, what was it you wanted to talk about?"

You fiddle with your fingers to prevent you from biting them to all damnation. If you were any closer to him, you bet he would hear the loud gulp you take to steady yourself.

"I like you, a lot. I love talking with you, I enjoy your company. You're dedicated and smart and...although I say I hate your puns, I find it oddly very sexy. I love how you're sure of yourself and your craft. I like how you're a really good friend to me and I hate that I was coward enough not to return the favor. Chanyeol, God, Chanyeol, I..." You trail off. You feel so incredibly stupid. Christ, why do you feel so pathetic?

As perfect as that all sounded, you knew there was no way Chanyeol was just going to accept that. You catch his gaze and he sighs out. "But?"

"I didn't think you could like me back."

Your answer lights something in him because the amount of irritation that floods off of him is enormous. He laughs but it comes out as disbelieving and mocking. "And now you think I like you? Is that why you're here? Did you decide on your own about my feelings about you?"

Biting your cheek hard, you do your best to keep your spine straight. "I'm sorry."

"Why?" His fervor has dimmed but you still hear it. "I want to know why."

"Why what?" You move your eyes from the top of his head to his face.

"Why you can say all those pretty good things about me—how you like me so much, how good you think we could be together— but then didn't even attempt to do anything about us. Is it me? Is there something about me that makes everyone think they should keep me around but not too close? Like I'm some sort of medal? Why am I never enough?"

You don't know how to go about this. There's raw neediness in his voice and he truly is asking for your answer. You wish you could scream at him that he is more than enough. More than anything you'd ever been used to. More than enough. Always more than that. You can tell its something that's plagued him for days on end and if you didn't know much about Chanyeol, you wouldn't understand the underlying question.

It doesn't matter that you didn't shatter his heart like Mai did; the principle is the same. Of course, there are things that you would never be able to prevent, no matter how hard you try, but you could've prevented this. You didn't have to chip at his slowly-mending heart, you didn't have to decide about stuff all on your own.

"I thought I was doing both of us favors. I thought I was preventing everything from getting messy. I —"

He stares at you and you can't form the words anymore. There's so much swimming in his eyes— anger, vulnerability, confusion, desire. But among all that, you know you're looking at a man who has feelings for you. You aren't alone in this.

"Why didn't you ask me?"

"It's not that simple."

"I didn't say it was. But rather than try to sort things out, you just packed yourself up and didn't look back."

You remain silent because you're not sure of what to say or rather, you're not sure how to say it. Frustrated by the lack of words on your part, Chanyeol maneuvers around the island countertop until he's somewhat close to you. He runs his hand through his hair once, twice and then again for good measure. "Why did you come here, [Y/N]?"

"Because I had to tell you. I couldn't leave it like that, it didn't feel —"

"So? Has this helped you? Did you need to see first-hand that I'm unhappy or something? Because this certainly hasn't helped me any." He places a hand on his forehead, tired, and is about to turn on the heel of his foot and walk off when you reach out and grip the edge of his sizes-too-big hoodie.

"Chanyeol."

He jerks his shirt away from your grip and whirls back so fast, your brain stutters from the whiplash and you barely have enough sense to move back to avoid crashing into him.

"Or did you come to fuck me? Is that what you came for?" He pulls the hoodie off his head in one swift motion, revealing the basic tee under it. "Have a repeat of the last time you were in here. I mean this is all fake, isn't it? The only real thing that happened between us was the sex, right?"

"Stop."

He doesn't. He keeps plowing. You don't even have buttons to push but he presses them all. The second button, the third, then the fifth... He keeps going, laying out all these things bare for you to hear. And even though some part of you had expected this, you can't help the closing feeling enrapturing your throat.

You interrupt his tirade. "You deserve more than I — anyone — can give you."

That wasn't an explanation for the things you've done; it was a withdrawal. But you meant it. He does deserve better. Someone who doesn't let insecurities or 'what if's' dictate their life. Someone that wants to be with him unapologetically. Someone who wasn't riddled down by plays of other people's bad choices. Someone who wasn't scared of problems that haven't even happened.

Is it so wrong to still want to be with him even though you acknowledge all these faults?

"You're absolutely right." He shuts his eyes for a moment before re-opening them. "I do deserve more. I deserve someone who wants to be with me in the way I want to be with them. And maybe it's my own fault for growing all these feelings for you when you never promised anything more than a pseudo-relationship. But you know what?"

You don't know and now you wish you had said everything you wanted to say earlier. There's no stupid right time to confess to someone. There's no way you can control something like that.

"I didn't think I was in this alone. I was foolish enough to think you were right there with me, breaking your ridiculous rule about repressing your feelings to dust."

Seconds tick on to minutes and you can feel your heart wrapped around his fist. Why did you ever buy into the stupid idea of trying not to fall in love with someone? What have you gained doing that? Yeah, sure heartbreaks are a pain in the ass and devoting yourself to someone only to have them trample on your feelings is a horrible situation. But, who says that's the only outcome? Why are you supposed to live your life being afraid of getting hurt? People — you — deserve to have that one good thing.

All putting up barriers around your heart does is make you more alone. Not alone alone, just lonely.

He motions with a tilt of his head to the door. "You should go... if you have nothing to say."

But you have a lot to say. So much in fact, that you stammer a good minute before anything useful falls from your lips. "I'm not leaving." Not again.

"[Y/N]," he says now and it's more of a plea than anything. Maybe he thinks you came all the way here to make a clean break from him? You didn't come here to tell him your feelings and then just leave. You came here to...You came here to come to terms with this feeling imploding in your chest.

"I am right here with you. I just..."

"Just what?"

"There are all these signs in my head telling me about everything that can go wrong but I also can't seem to fucking walk out that door."

He licks his lower lip and sighs. Not an exasperated sigh like all the others he's been letting out, it's more of a resigned sigh. Like it's clicking that you're not leaving here until the two of you have ironed this whole situation out. He leans back on the corner of the island counter, and the two of you have a mini stare off. Maybe he thinks you're gonna bolt out of the door the minute he blinks, you can't blame him.

"What made you think that I couldn't have feelings for you?"

First, there was that talk. The one you had the night before you cut off all contact. He'd talked about finding this wonderful person that was made for him and about the kind of love that only existed within beautiful literature. It wasn't something you'd ever associated with yourself. You and love and relationships had never been on the same page. And to be frank, you'd never even given it a chance. Never even entertained the idea. Until your walls came crashing down and the only thing that seems remotely relevant is that you don't need — you don't have to be on your own.

"I mean you're...you," you stumble around blindly. "You could have anyone you want."

A soft, if slightly incredulous yet unexpected laugh filters from his lips."You'd think I'd be able to make my own decisions at my age."

"Shut up," you mumble, averting your eyes to anywhere but him. "I'm not good with these things."

"What things?"

You don't realize he has moved from his position until he's ridiculously close to you that you can feel his body heat. Or maybe it's yours? Your chest is pounding faster than before. And you swear your bones are lighting with charged electricity. He must sense that you're not going to answer him because he doesn't waste time before adding:

"I want you. If I can have anyone I want, don't you think I should get to have you?"

"I don't want you to settle for me. I don't want you to regret any of the time you spend with me when you find someone greater."

Chanyeol furrows his eyebrows, puzzled. "Greater? Settle? [Y/N], when have I ever implied that being with you would be settling for something lesser?"

You huff out a frazzled breath, not wanting to relive that day but having to do so all the same. "You're waiting for your perfect person. I don't want to get left behind because of that."

"Oh, my," Chanyeol squints at you like he can't quite believe your thought process. "Sweetheart," he chastises and a part of you — a really minuscule one — melts.

"What?" You're not annoyed but a spike of mild irritation floods your veins.

"Just because I said that doesn't mean —" he cuts himself off. "Since you clearly didn't get what I was trying to say; lemme lay it down again." Chanyeol cocks his head to the side. "I was trying to hint at you. That I think this," he uses a hand to demonstrate between the two of you. "Is the real thing."

Hearing those words from out of his lips is like something akin to an epiphany. This chemistry that has been brewing between the two of you wasn't something you conjured up all on your own. It takes all your willpower — fortunately, that's a lot — to restrain yourself from turning into some inebriated schoolchild. However, try as you might, you can't stop the fragile smile from creaking at the corners of your mouth.

You manage to nod, barely. "But?"

"But I — we — should take it slower this time."

"Slower?" You probably sound dumb repeating what he just said but it's because you want to be sure. "That's not a thinly graced no, is it?"

He laughs at that and your body sings. "Of course not. I just think the both of us we have to sort some shit out... from scratch."

Again, you nod because you can't seem to be capable of doing anything else. Chanyeol moves away from you and finally plops down on one of the beige sofas in his admittedly big living room. He gives you a look, beckoning you over and you do as he implies. Sitting close but not too close to invade any personal space.

"The point," he strums along, "is that I get it, okay? You've never had an actual relationship before. You're thinking about all these possibilities that could happen but I don't care. And I'm not asking you to be my girlfriend right away, in fact, I'm not asking for any of that right now."

You twist your lips up at what he's saying, not quite understanding. "Then what are you asking for?"

"For a date," he says simply. "One date. Maybe two—"

A part of you bows to the heavenly power of euphoria.

"—or maybe four. Point is, I wanna keep seeing you."

You watch as he rakes a hand through his floppy-ish dark hair. Damn, he looks soft. He doesn't notice your little gawking fest because he continues on.

"I don't care when. You want to get a burger at night, cool. Early in the morning, great too. I'm willing to play by your guidelines, so long as you promise to communicate with me on things that are bothering you."

Pleasure and presentiment wage a war inside your head. "You'd really do that?"

You hold your breath when he fixes you with a firm, intense gaze. Then he wacks your chest and convictions even more by asking. "Do you believe in love at first sight?"

Oh fucking no.

There must be something monstrous brooding on your facial features — not that you deny it — because Chanyeol cracks up like a geezer, laughing. You believe in love, of course, you do. But love at first sight? You'd rather cough up a lung than have a belief in something as fickle as that.

"Calm down, [Y/N]. I'm not saying that I fell in love with you like that."

You don't know why the sigh that reverberates through your body is one of relief. It's not like you don't want Chanyeol to be in love with you but it's the principle of the thing. You'd rather him fall in love with you as he got to know you, not some superficial shit like love at first sight. You scoff inwardly to yourself. "Then what are you saying?"

"I'd seen you a few times around campus before that day at the beach," he admits something you had no prior knowledge of. "And yeah, I'll confess, I thought you were hot — no, beautiful — but it's not like I was desperate to find out who you were."

"Great boost of confidence, thanks."

He shakes his head at your drooling sarcasm, grinning. "Make up your mind, sweetheart. Do you want me to be ridiculously enthralled with you, or do you want me to be honest?"

You bite down on your lower lip to keep the sly smirk from painting on your lips but he notices it anyways, so you give up and let it out. "You walked into that one."

"Anyway, I'd seen you before. Multiple times, probably. But the day, when we made eye contact? When you actually spoke to me? Something extraordinary happened then," he says matter-of-factly. "And I know you felt it too."

Does he have no sense of shame? Or where you just strung too tight? Your eyebrows lift up as you scoff lightly at him. "I've never seen a guy that throws around 'love at first sight' without looking at least a little bit embarrassed."

Chanyeol shrugs, not caring, a small smile gracing his features. "What can I say? You bring out the different sides of me."

You highly doubt his statement. For whatever it's worth, you think Chanyeol to be the kind of person that has little to no shame about the things that he holds close. The tension around your stomach uncoils itself and you loosen into the sofa.

"Okay, I'll admit, I did feel something." You raise a hand and scratch the skin under your eye. "Where are you going with this?"

"I don't want you to run off again. This connection between us? I wanna explore it."

"Me too."

His eyes light up like Christmas candles and for a second you're tempted to reach out and brush the tips of his hair and before you can weigh pro's and cons of it, you push forward and do just that. When he leans into your touch though, the entirety of your insides feels content.

Chanyeol says he wants to take things slow — for your sake — but at this moment, you want everything other than slow. You want his hands on you, you want his body flushed hard against your body, you want him with every fiber of your being. No halfsies this time. You feel safe with his hands wrapped around you and by shit, you want them around you right now. But you promised to abide by these new set of rules, you're not going to rush anything. You're not going to repeat your father's mistakes, you're not —

He clears his throat and your attention flitters back to him, your ears fiery hot because you've been caught absent-mindedly thinking about him. "Kissing you isn't rushing it, is it?"

An airy giggle bubbles up from your throat. "Are you asking for permission?"

"That and I hope we're both on the same page."

You shake your head at him. "I would never mind kissing you, Channie."

Maybe it's your nickname for him, maybe it's the permission you've given him, but either way, he's kissing you before either of you can think. And it's the kind of kiss that goes from a dim kindling to an inferno in one hot second.

His tongue slides through your parted lips in a deft stroke and you gasp at the intrusion. It takes about a millisecond — you're not counting — before you're kissing him back. Tongue dancing in intricate moves with his for a few earth-spinning moments. You can't seem to get close enough. Your fingers want to pull at his clothes but you still have an inkling of rationality to push them through his hair instead.

In stark comparison to the last time you kissed him, you are positive that this time, you're not the only one. Chanyeol winds one set of his fingers behind your neck, the other cradling your face, and tilts your head to the side to deepen the kiss. Your body presses deeper into his and his large frame steadies yours as he lets out an intensified groan that zips straight to your core.

"Tell me to stay," you breathe out, barely a whisper. Your body language speaking volumes in and of itself as you try, desperately, to catch your breath.

Your on either side of his lap now, your legs spread out. Chanyeol's head rests cooly on your forehead and for one dark moment you imagine him with all his clothes off on the floor and your bodies getting closer in more ways than one.

"No."

His answer startles you into clarity and for a brief minute or two, you stare at him shocked. Did he just? You open your mouth several times before you close it again. Willing everything you have inside yourself to say something back.

"Y-you don't want me to?"

Chanyeol shakes his head, a ghost of a smile not on his lips but in his eyes. "I don't want to command you to stay. If you want to stay then stay."

Yeah, that's all well and good. "But do you want me to?"

"I'm not saying this for my own benefit. I want you to make this decision. If you want to stay here — if you want to stay with me, then, I want you to do it because you want to. Not in some roundabout way to please me."

You have no idea where this relationship is heading towards but you know that you're heart is already there with him. For such a long time, you'd believed that being alone was the answer and that you would be better off like that but now, you're not sure anymore.

Being with him is like being on a high. Not the kind of high that makes you feel bad when you hit your lowest point. It's different. It's a kind of high that pulls you up, drags you up from the ground and throws you into the sky, teaching you how to fly — maybe — along the way.

There's a door inside of you that Chanyeol is knocking on and finally, you open it. "I want to stay."

And Chanyeol doesn't slam the door shut. "I want to stay with you too."

Chanyeol keeps you to that promise of taking you out on numerous dates. You can't count with two hands how many you've been on in the last month or two or three. Point is, you're spending more time with Chanyeol than with Sehun, [he's characteristically jealous], but you don't mind it.

This time you're back on a beach. Not the same as the first one you'd gone to, instead you and Chanyeol had driven an hour and a couple more to a different one that promised clear water and bustling people. The only thing seemingly true about that statement is the people. But it's not like you could do much harm to something you found on the internet, so you let it slide.

It's supposed to be date #24, but you're not counting. He's perched on the sand, scribbling away in that leather-bound book of his and you're busy taking shots of other people that peak your interest. You like dates like this, the ones where the two of you enjoy each others company more than anything. Sometimes when his eyes catch yours, he throws a silly face your way and you make it a point to stick your tongue at him and stomp away.

Once you've decided that you've taken enough photos for the day, or maybe it's just the exhaustion finally catching up to you, you flop down on the sand beside his body. He flips his notebook shut and glances your way, a really wide smile gracing his face. And shit, you feel amazing when he smiles at you.

"Question."

He lies on his back, body incredibly close to yours. "Fire away."

"You ever heard of sporks?"

"A what now?"

You roll your eyes at him, plowing your hands through the sand and reveling in the feeling of it cascading through your fingers. "I know you heard me. Please don't make me repeat my idiocy again."

He chuckles at that. "If you don't mind me asking: what the fuck are sporks?"

Sitting up, you clear your throat, preparing to give him a lecture for a lifetime.

"They're like forks but also spoons. You've never seen one of those before? They kind of look really stupid and are really inefficient but they sound cool so..." you shrug your shoulders.

"You're trying to tell me that a bunch of stuffy old people at some big company sat down in a meeting and came up with...that?"

You nod your head, shooting him a faux-prideful smile. "That's right. One of man's many wonders."

He rolls, literally he does, across the sandy plain. His throaty laugh coming out in breaks as he clutches his sides in despair. You laugh alongside with him, albeit not as loudly, and watch him as he claps his hands like a seal. It's endearing, really.

"Question." He says a thousand minutes later when he has finally regained composure, sitting cross-legged in front of you.

"Shoot."

"Did you ever think of me as naïve?" His eyebrows furrow at his own question. "Maybe not now, but before?"

You tap your lower lip as you mull over it. Well, you wouldn't say that Chanyeol was naïve. Hopelessly optimistic, yes, but not downright naïve. But maybe that can be considered as naïveté to some degree? You have no idea but you decide to go with it.

"Maybe a little. I mean, you were talking about all that love love stuff and I was skeptical about it so, of course, it seemed like you were naïve to me."

"Great," he drowns in his own sarcasm. "How about now?"

"Uh, lets just say your hopeful optimism is one of the reasons I love you."

"So, you love me." If it's a question or a statement you don't know.

"Was this just some roundabout way to get me to say that?" You scoff at his antics, shaking your head in mock-disappointment.

He raises his hand in surrender. "What? Me? How dare you accuse me of such a thing?"

You burst out laughing at him, small — ridiculously small — tears bundle at the edges of your eyes. "I love you, Chanyeol. I thought we'd already gone through this?"

You had... Maybe a month ago? You're not that good with the semantics but one night in the fast food joint near your apartment, the two of you were having one of your impromptu get-togethers. You'd tried and succeeded in stealing a handful of his fries as he looked at his phone for a second.

He'd caught you in the act but had allowed you continue on. You smiled like you were insane and sighed out. "Man, I love you." At first, it shocked him more than it did you. You stared at the red tabletop for a good thirty seconds before Chanyeol snorted aloud and grinned at you, teeth and all. "Same, sweetheart."

For some reason, he hadn't asked you to explain anything. The two of you carried on, you with stealing his fries and him with stealthy taking out of your drink that he claimed to hate, but ended up worshiping. And for the first time, you realized that love wasn't something that came in with a bang! Yeah, sure connections happened like that. It was either there or it wasn't. But with love, it was something you couldn't hide. It brought you to life. And it was always there, whether you try to acknowledge it or not.

"We did," Chanyeol's voice brings you from the past. "But I'll never get over hearing you say it."

The insides of your stomach do flip flops and inhale dandelions. It's a beautiful feeling, to feel loved and to love someone back. Soon after that, because you and him promised to watch some new fantasy/horror movie that just came out, the two of you pack camp and head back home.

These days, you hang out more in his place than yours. Not necessarily because you want to. Sehun just seems to always have his girlfriend over and you'd rather not third-wheel if you can help it. Plus, it doesn't help that Chanyeol's apartment is super welcoming and compared to your apartment, the WiFi there is spectacular. And let's not forget, it's easier to steal his sweatshirts when you spend most of your time there anyway.

Getting home is faster than it was to go to the beach and you're surprised that neither of you are as tired as you had expected. Chanyeol is still wary of watching the horror movie though, he has this look on his face — like you kicked his puppy or something. You would never do such a thing but with the way he's looking at you, you wouldn't be able to tell.

"Relax, sweetheart," you fling the endearment haphazardly, grinning lopsidedly. "I'll protect you from the big bad murder guy."

The two of you are situated on his bed, his laptop on his lap. You're about to hit play for the film to start and Chanyeol looks like he's actively forcing himself not to scream. The movie hasn't even started yet.

"What if it's not a guy?"

You shrug. "Doesn't matter. I'll fight any monster that comes for you, sound good?"

He must figure that this is as good as it's gonna get because he nods and you immerse in the movie. He clutches your arm tight and doesn't let go but at least he keeps his eyes open. Forty minutes into the movie and you realize what a horrible mistake you've made. There's absolutely nothing great about this movie! The generic couple of college students that went somewhere with absolutely nobody for spring break, somehow end up pissing off the resident serial killer and hence have to survive.

As usual, everyone but the person that caused the whole mess dies first. You tsk at the laptop screen, highly dissatisfied with your choice of entertainment.

One of the women decides it’s a perfectly good time to go skinny dipping with the love of her life — they are supposed to be hiding from a murderer. What makes this a time to go have a sexed-up scene is beyond you.

"This bitch is stupid and now the only guy worth any common sense is gonna die."

"I thought you wanted them to die?"

"Not like this. They have to put up a fight for it to mean something. Now it's just like they want to die, you know?"

He doesn't know but he doesn't say. Even though you're not particularly loving the movie, Chanyeol seems to be enthralled by it. He seems to be the target audience the producer was aiming for. You rest your head against Chanyeol's shoulder; bored. At least one of you is enjoying it. Occasionally, Chanyeol's scream lights up the room and you laugh meekly at him while trying to subtly calm him down.

You're about ready to doze off when you hear the buzz from the front door. Someone's here. Your head jerks towards the wall-clock. It's almost 12 am. Why would someone feel the need to come over now? Chanyeol is gone with the movie and you figure you'd rather go and check who's there. Wary, you pull the covers away from your body and head to the living room.

The peephole in the door does nothing to tell you who's out there. All you can see is a maroon colored shirt, you sigh to yourself, unbolting the door and opening it slightly. Your breath hitches in your throat when you find Mai standing there. For a brief second, you're tempted to slam the door in her face.

Her expression darkens the moment her eyes find yours, her pretty face a mixture of shock, ugly jealousy and anger. 

"What are you doing here?" She demands like she has some kind of right.

Man, you're tired to a Capital T with dealing with this girl.

You've never prided yourself on being the bigger person, but you see yourself doing so right now. Holding your hands to your side.

"Ha, I think the more important question is, what are you doing here? And why? It's not like you're welcome or anything."

The wrinkles in her forehead — that you hadn't noticed before — tighten. "Can you not be rude for, like, one second?"

"Not exactly," you don't see the point in fueling this jealous rivalry she has going on.

She's the one that's been playing Ms. Rude since you'd set eyes on her. You wonder where she gets her self-confidence from and if you can get it in a bottle. And then you snicker at your own thought, cracking yourself up.

Mai decides to ignore your answer. "Is Chanyeol here?"

"He's watching a movie."

She nods her head, trying to peer on her tippy toes last you. "Oh, I see. How about you?"

This time you can't stop the snicker from leaving your lips. "What about me?" You cock your head to the side. "No, Mai," you pronounce the words extra slowly to prove a point. "I am not currently watching the movie."

Intense annoyance flares through her eyes. "Can I speak with Yeol? I need to speak with him. Can I come inside?"

You gawk at her for a second, maybe more. You can't believe her. In fact, you've never understood her at all. An enigma that you have no intention of trying to figure out.

"I don't think Chanyeol would like you coming inside his apartment unannounced. Why don't you try calling him and stop by some other time?"

Chanyeol's ex rolls her eyes as she twists her lips into an ugly frown. "He doesn't answer my calls. You think I would be here if he picked up?"

Well, you don't know.

"I think you should go."

"Look, I need to talk with him."

She emphasizes the need part so eloquently that you have the urge to ask. "Why?"

Mai doesn't like to be questioned apparently, because she scowls even harder. "That's none of your business, __."

Classic Mai, fucking up your name for some type of dominance quest.

"It's [Y/N]," you force out in a pseudo airy voice. "Which I know you know. And you know what?"

She doesn't move a muscle to interrupt so you press on, sneering at her. "I know you're trying to make me feel like I'm having your leftovers or something by purposely messing my name up every goddamn time you see me, but it's not working. You can call me whatever the heck you want and it won't change the fact that I'm Chanyeol's girlfriend."

And you know, you shouldn't be egging her on. It's only going to bite you in the ass later on but by fuck, you can't stop. The sight of this woman—this woman who had the most beautiful man [in and out] in the whole world and then proceeded to cheat on him with some low life sets you on fire. You can't shut up and frankly, you don't even want to.

You push the door open a little bit wider. "He loved you. He's been keeping the truth about you from his mom for months. His entire family thinks he cast you aside when in reality, you're the one that shattered his heart. You're the one that made him feel like he'd never be enough. He didn't tell Yixing, your best friend, what you truly did. Everyone thinks you're some kind of victim, bullshit."

It's a small tick but you see a part of herself cringe back at your words.

"But you don't deserve it," you tell her. "And you don't deserve anything with Chanyeol. You're here to apologize, right? To try and win his forgiveness so he never talks to his parents and Yixing about it, right? You don't want anyone to think of you as a monster, even if you know you are one."

This time she has the decency to feel embarrassed or maybe humiliated. You can't be bothered to look for the difference. It doesn't matter to you either way.

"B-but I love him," she says, and for what it's worth, some hidden part of you hears her.

You're sure your mother loved your dad. Or at least, at some point she did. But humans have to be held accountable for their actions. If only everything could be forgotten. If only. But people's hearts don't deserve to be trampled on like that. They don't deserve to have their trust severed by someone they would've given all their days for. And you'd be tenfold stupid to ever agree with ideals like that.

"Do you realize how unfair your love is?" There's a sharpness to your voice you don't recognize.

Mai is stunned into silence and you bite your lower lip, contemplating if you should go on. And maybe it's the look in her eyes that says she's not ready to give up that makes you add your next sentences.

"I won't stand for you weaseling your way to him only to break him again. I'll tell him you came by but honestly, if he asks for my opinion on the matter, I'll tell him you're not worth any of his time."

"[Y/N]," she pleads. There's a huge desperation swimming in both her voice and eyes.

"You hurt Chanyeol. I'm not letting you hurt him again. So you can go back home. Pick up your phone and call him because I'm not letting you into his apartment."

"Or don't at all."

His throaty voice grips you and has you whirling around, startled. Even Mai looks shocked beyond compare. He pushes forward and looks down at Mai directly and she cowers a little bit. He sighs out, running a hand through his spazzed hair.

"Look, Mai. You exhaust me. If someone ignores your phone calls, the general consensus is that they don't want to talk to you, isn't that correct?"

She doesn't nod but you're certain that if she could, she would've. But instead, you answer in her stead. "That's right."

"Exactly," he smirks at you through your haze before turning back to his ex. "I really don't want to talk with you. Every time we do, I get drained of all my happiness and end up hating you even more. You already made your decision and I've made mine."

Moments pass with the three of you standing like that, not doing anything. And you think maybe Mai has become incapable of using her words. You clear your throat and two pairs of eyes flicker onto your frame.

"And that's that. Drive safely," your voice has softened but you're sure she can hear the finality in it.

You don't know what she does next because before she can do or say anything, you're closing the door in her face. Happy to finally not be looking into her eyes. Ah, you hate this ex business. You never know how Chanyeol would feel about you crossing over this line. You never talk about Mai with him and you don't want to start now. But maybe it's good he knows? What if she comes back again and—

"You know, I've never had someone defend me like that."

"Must be dating the wrong people."

He chuckles and this is the first time you've seen him not get emotionally down after seeing Mai. And God, if it doesn't feel good. You reach forward and wrap your hands around him, drowning in the smell of him and the rigid feel of him.

"Yeah," he laughs out. "Must be."

You grin into his shirt. "How much did you hear?"

"Almost all of it. Can't believe you adore me this much, [Y/N]." His hands close tighter around your torso and you breathe out deeply.

"Yeah well, you would've done the same."

Feeling him nod, your ears heat up and you pull back from his body in hopes that he doesn't notice it but he does and his smile looks like it could carve heaven right in your chest. He reaches down and traces his fingers across your cheek.

"More likely than not. I mean, I do love you."

He cups your cheek and you lean into it. You have Chanyeol. Not for a halftime. Not just parts of him. Not the good parts that he just wants to show you. You have all of him. Everything. The character flaws, the greatness — everything.

Relationships had always seemed like a type of addiction that people had fallen into willingly but now, with this guy that made you want to glide across the earth with him. You realize that you will gladly allow it drag you down and consume you, especially because he's right by your side. He had waited for you and now, you waited for him. It's about opening yourself up to one another, imperfections and all, trying to find a half that fits with you.

It's a craving for something deeper. Something the words in Chanyeol's book or the pictures you take can't depict. It's something you feel and only then can you truly understand why it's important to not be so alone.

"I love you," Chanyeol pecks the tip of your nose and then the side of your mouth. "I love you," he says again, this time obnoxiously. He grabs your face between both of his palms and continues the process everywhere else.

You try to squirm from his lips. "Oh my gosh, stop!" But when he doesn't, you drag your body away from him — a huge feat in and of itself — and run as fast your legs can carry you back to the solace of his room and slam the door closed, leaning against it.

"Hey! Open up! I'm trying to love my girlfriend here!" He shouts, cackling, as he pounds mockingly on the door.

"Shut up! I'm not opening this door unless you promise to not slobber all over my face."

"How can I promise something so—"

You kick the door with the side of your foot as a warning and he backtracks.

"Of course, I'll stop. I'll swear." He chants tauntingly but you pull the door open anyways.

Not expecting him to push the door open so fast, you practically jump back until the heel of your foot feels the edge of the bed. You wag your finger at him with as much fervor as you can muster. "Don't do it."

But he does it. And suddenly your back is on his bed, his face inches from yours, his body hovering above yours and your breaths mangling into each other. He doesn't move any closer, so you do the honors of pushing up on your elbows and planting your lips on his. It's intoxicating and has you giggling in minutes. He abides with your demands quickly, not wasting time in tangling his tongue with yours.

"Love you," he pulls away from your lips and proceeds to kiss all over your face but this time you're smiling uncontrollably.

"Say it again."

He does and how your body sings. And then another realization dawns on you. If love was a competition, you're learning a lot from him. You don't need Chanyeol. Christ, no. You want him. You want him so much that it consumes you and fuels you up. He's teaching you that you don't have to walk through fire to prove you want him or love him and there's no need to be so nervous about the things you don't know.

This is foreign territory, sure, but he's showing you the ropes. And with the way he's looking at you, you can't exactly complain. He uses a hand to raise the end of your — his — shirt up and his lips placate themselves on the most sensitive points of your stomach.

Yeah, he's definitely on a mission to show you all the affection you've been missing. One touch on your heart at a time.

a/n; this is the end of whiplash!! i really hope you enjoyed it and please send me feedback or anything you liked from it :)) thank you so very much for reading! and please do tell me if you liked this!! im happy you stayed with me >.<

⇢ masterlist

©️ 2018 kai, moonbelt [aka high-on-food]

[just-come-baek]

Wedding Fever 2

Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader

Themes: smut (later on) | fluff | a bit of angst | wedding!au | friends to lovers!au | fakedating!au | SLOWBURN

Word count: 7k

Summary: Baekhyun is the best man, and I am the maid of honor at our friends’ wedding. Although should we be excited about our friends getting married, we seem to complain a lot more every time we meet for another preparation. Maybe it’s a bit fanciful of me to think that, but I hope, somewhere between choosing flowers and venting about the reception prep, he’ll like me just as I like him.

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***

“This is hot,” Baekhyun stated as he breathed out, hoping the air could cool his mouth; the peppers on the top of pizza were indeed fiery–they burnt my throat even though I picked them and threw them back into the box instead of eating them.

“You should’ve told me, I’d have ordered something else,” I replied, quickly handing him my can of beer since he had already drunk his. “In my defense, they usually put fewer of them; it’s the first time they delivered pizza this spicy.”

“No; it’s okay,” Baekhyun sighed, probably wondering if his taste buds were to regain their sensitivity. “I like it that way,” he added as if trying to convince me, but I sensed he was bullshitting.  I was positive he didn’t want me to consider him less virile, which in this case was absurd, given the fact I had been pining for him for the longest of time.

“Okay then,” I shrugged, reaching for my beverage, trying to focus on everything except for the indirect kiss Baekhyun and I just shared. You’re a grown ass woman, not a teenager; get a grip for fuck’s sake! I scolded myself, hoping that Baekhyun didn’t notice me cringe at my thoughts. He didn’t want to get romantically involved with me as it was right now, but if he found out what was going on inside my head, he’d be downright crept out.

“Do you have more of these?” Baekhyun asked, tilting his head toward the empty can of beer, as he needed more to wash down the piquant taste off his tongue. Rolling my eyes, I stood up, willing to bring him the desired refill. “Thank you! You’re the best!” Baekhyun cheered the moment I handed him another can of alcohol.

Ask me out if you really mean that!

Being too afraid to speak my mind, I casually smiled, feigning nonchalance. Baekhyun had never seemed to be interested in me, so what was the point in scaring him away now with my stupid feelings? We almost became friends, and so far, it was more than enough for me.

“Do you want me to change the channel?” I asked as I reached for the remote. Since we had come here, no one bothered to switch the channel, and although none of us enjoyed the TLC’s current programme, we both watched it with what seemed an utter ardor.

“Nah, I don’t really mind,” Baekhyun shrugged, putting another pizza slice into his mouth, this time picking out the peppers. “It’s oddly addicting,” he declared, and I couldn’t agree with him more. It wouldn’t be the first time I impulsively binge-watched it.

“I know, right?” I agreed, but then trying to miss him with the misery, I checked the TV program on my phone, looking for something more interesting to watch. Maybe, a fine horror movie was being played, or at least a crappy TV show which would be perfect for a drinking game. “Oh my God; they’re airing Zoolander 2. It’s amazing; have you seen it?” I asked excitedly at the thought of watching one of the dumbest comedies ever made with Baekhyun.

“No, I haven’t, is it any good?”

“Is it any good?” I repeated his question, yet intonating it differently, sounding very much offended. It was a silly movie, but frankly, I’d rather consider it as an amazing satire. “That’s the best film ever to be produced.”

Without further explanation, I quickly reached for the remote to change the channel. He had to see this, as no words would be used to describe all the reason why we should watch it.

When the first scene was to roll up, we ended up laughing. And then, the process repeated for the whole duration of the movie. At some point, my stomach started to ache due to the excessive laughing, while Baekhyun shed at least one tear of light laughter.

“Oh my God, it’s 4 o’clock already?” Baekhyun spoke as he squinted, trying to read the time from his wristwatch. The film was over, and I was yawning, but the time I had spent with Baekhyun was of high quality. “It flies so fast when you have fun.”

“Should we go to sleep?” I asked, standing up, wanting to carry the dirty plates to the kitchen. “You can take the couch or sleep with me. I guess we are already beyond that.” I spoke, though it wasn’t an invitation. Cleaning is not my favorite type of activity, and if my living room was untidy (which was an understatement), the bedroom was in absolute disarray.

“I guess we are,” Baekhyun agreed, and I scolded myself for even proposing that. He was willing to share a bed with me, but on the other hand, it was to be the last time he agrees to something like that. “Do you have a shirt I can borrow? Or maybe even a pair of pants?”

“Sure,” I answered, giving him a shy smile. I sleep in an oversized T-shirt, so there wasn’t any problem lending him one of them. And as in for pants, my brother must’ve left a pair when he had been over two months ago. “Just give me a second.”

“I can help you,” Baekhyun replied, snatching the pizza box from my hands, offering assistance. “That’s the least I can do in exchange for you letting me crash here tonight.”

I couldn’t reject his helping hand. Not when his eagerness just bought me an extra minute or two to get my bedroom cleaned, and though I wouldn’t vacuum or make the bed, at least I could throw my dirty clothes and empty potato chips bags under the bed.

When the room looked sufficiently decent, I opened the wardrobe, looking for clothes in which Baekhyun could change. Quickly, I pulled a simple mustard T-shirt and grey sweatpants for him, hoping they would fit him. My brother is a bit taller than him after all.

When everything was ready, I spun on my heel wanting to join Baekhyun, but he beat me to it, as he was already standing in the doorway, surprising me.

“Jesus Christ!” I yelped, pressing my hand against my rib cage. “Don’t ever sneak on me like that! Oh my God, I didn’t hear you at all.”

“Sorry,” Baekhyun replied sounding both shy and apologetic.

“Anyway, here are your clothes,” I started, pointing to the bed where I had thrown the T-shirt and sweatpants for him, “I should be back in a minute,” I added, passing by him in the doorway.

“Which side of the bed is yours?” Baekhyun asked before I locked myself in the bathroom.

Frankly, both sides of the bed are mine; I sleep like a fucking starfish – it’s one of the perks of being single, hogging the entire bed, and I can’t seem to complain about that.

“It doesn’t matter, I can take the right side,” I replied, and Baekhyun nodded. He didn’t seem particularly sad about my choice, so I assumed he preferred the left side anyway.

***

It had been a week since our little movie night, and no surprise, Baekhyun hadn’t called or texted me. Thankfully, I never had high expectations which could get crashed with the unintentional silent treatment he had been giving me, and since this was the outcome I had expected, I decided not to mop over it.

He must’ve been busy with work.

However, Jiwoo and Hongbin invited me to a restaurant, and I had a feeling Baekhyun would be there, too. Besides, it wouldn’t be as bad as meeting at their place; unlike their cute apartment, the restaurant would close eventually. Moreover, the lovebirds hadn’t bothered us recently, and I somewhat missed venting to him.

The supper was scheduled at six what gave me an hour to change and arrive at the elegant restaurant. Unfortunately, when I got home, I stood in front of my wardrobe, having no idea what I should put on. It was scorching hot outside, so after a lot of thinking, I opted for a simple summer dress and a pair of flats with a matching purse.

It was a perfect outfit–I didn’t look like a try-hard, yet it looked good on me.

I showed up at the restaurant fashionably late; the moment I stepped through the doorframe, I saw the lovebirds without Baekhyun who must’ve also been running late. Jiwoo noticed me almost instantly, beaming at me, waving her hand enthusiastically. She was finally wearing her engagement ring; it was huge and it shined beautifully, reflecting the rays of sunshine.

Even a blind person would notice someone had just got engaged.

I felt a slight pang of envy, but at the same time, I was so happy for her to find someone like Hongbin. They were perfect for each other, and though I wish I was dating, most preferably Baekhyun, I genuinely supported their relationship.

In response, I smiled brightly. Quickly, I reached their table, taking a free seat in front of Jiwoo, as she and Hongbin were sitting next to each other. “Hi, have you ordered already?” I asked, as I hung my purse on the back of the chair.

“No, we just got here,” Hongbin answered, pulling his hand over Jiwoo’s backrest. “We’re still waiting for Baekhyun. Can you tell me why I had a feeling that the two of you were going to be late?” He inquired as he adjusted his wristwatch, noting how much time I was late, showing his veiny forearm. Hongbin was ridiculously handsome, but I never lusted after him; he was Jiwoo’s, and I respected her, though I had to appreciate his beauty.

“By five minutes!” I argued back, sensing that Hongbin was going to blow the whole thing way out of proportion. I just got here, while Baekhyun was still missing; if he wanted to be nitpicking, he ought to pound away at Baekhyun. “Just let me live, it’s not that big of a deal.”

“Are you going to be late for our wedding, too?” Jiwoo teased me, and I felt bad; she didn’t sound as if she was playful about it. It seemed as if she considered sacking me from the maid of honor position unless I changed my attitude.

“Don’t even joke like that!” I scolded her, trying to dodge the bullet which she aimed directly at my heart. Her words were meant to hurt me, maybe even teaching me a lesson. However, I wasn’t one to be fooled; I wasn’t going to feel guilty for something I didn’t do. “Fancy ring you’ve got there,” I commented, changing the topic to a more pleasant one. “It looks pricey,” I admitted, as she stretched her arm, letting me have a closer look.

“You have no idea,” Hongbin hummed matter-of-factly, as he smiled at Jiwoo who was enjoying the admiration. He looked as if he was accustomed to that kind of behavior, and I got that; life with Jiwoo was like that; she had the entire spotlight, keeping everyone out of it at all costs. “Did you talk with Baekhyun?” Hongbin asked, and I looked at him in shock.

“No? Why should I?” I asked nonchalantly. Baekhyun was his friend, not exactly mine. Besides, Baekhyun had never reached out to me except for that one time.

“He mentioned you hung out the other time,” Hongbin mentioned, and Jiwoo looked at me excitedly, as she couldn’t wait for us to meet one on one, so I’d share all the details with her. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much to tell, and if anything, she would be disappointed. “Well…I thought…never mind, he’s here. Ayo, Baekhyun!”

Quickly, I turned my head around, thrilled to see him after so much time apart. It was a shame he didn’t feel the same way about me, but I’d live. Sooner or later, I’ll find someone who will appreciate me.

He was so handsome it actually hurt me to look at him. He was sitting beside me in his perfect glory, yet I couldn’t even touch nor kiss him no matter how much I wanted to. Baekhyun must’ve just left work; he was wearing suit trousers and a white suit shirt with his sleeves rolled up, revealing his beautiful forearms and an expensive wristwatch. His hair looked nonchalantly messy, as if he had combed it but then run his hands through it a couple of times, giving it the boyish vibe.

“Sorry I’m late, the meeting prolonged a bit.” He confessed, adjusting his tie which now loosely hung around his neck. “Have you ordered already?” In unison, everyone shook their heads what made him sigh in relief. “That’s fantastic. I’m starving!”

Shortly after his arrival, the waiter came to our table, writing down our order.

“So what do you want from us?” Baekhyun straightforwardly asked as he leaned back, getting more comfortable. It was clear we met today because they had a request, but we had no idea what that could be.

“What makes you think that?”

“Am I wrong, though?” Baekhyun inquired, making Hongbin’s challenging grin fade away; he knew his friend way too good to not be fooled by the fancy façade.

“Well… we wanted to drop the bomb after the dessert,” Jiwoo casually spoke, glancing at Baekhyun. What kind of bomb? She’s knocked up for real, yet now she gathered enough courage to bring that up? Doubtful–we had had too many glasses of wine for that to be true.

“Just shoot,” I urged her impatiently. The sooner we started the discussion, the sooner it’d end. Besides, I doubted her request could be worse than what we had already fulfilled.

“Hongbin mentioned you used to play piano,” Jiwoo began, as she looked at Baekhyun who already knew what their plea was going to be. “And since you’re Hongbin’s best friend, we thought you could play at our reception.”

When I thought I couldn’t be more into him, they had to drop such a bomb. Though I didn’t want to admit it, I started to believe Baekhyun was perfect for me, and the thought that we could never be together upset me enormously. I shouldn’t be doing that, but deep inside, I knew I was going to compare any new-met man to Baekhyun. Even worse, it was beyond obvious; no one would ever be as good as Baekhyun.

“Well…we don’t mean the entire reception, but I’d be glad if you could play something for our first dance,” Hongbin explained slowly, making Baekhyun sigh in relief. “What do you say? We would really appreciate it,” he added, kissing Jiwoo’s temple.

“I mean…I could. I haven’t touched the keys in years, though.” Baekhyun honestly admitted as if trying to shirk from the responsibility thrown his way. “My skills must be pretty rusty by now,” he added, emphasizing it wasn’t a good idea to involve him in such a significant moment of the reception; especially when his amazing skills were questionable.

“You have a whole year to get into it again,” Jiwoo remarked slyly, and I smiled, knowing she had an answer to every single Baekhyun’s excuse regardless how creative he could become. That’s how she rolled, and Baekhyun had better get used to that. Whatever she wants, she gets, and it wouldn’t change.

“And why am I here?” I cleared my thought before voicing my question. Why did she invite me over if she didn’t want anything from me? I mean, it wouldn’t be the first time she did something for the sole purpose of making me feel bad about myself. I don’t know why but sometimes she just had to prove she’s better than me. Flashing her engagement ring, so its bright light hits me in the eyes would be another example.

She can be a real bitch sometimes.

“Oh, right, I’d forget,” she reprimanded herself, as she smiled at Hongbin, happy that she could announce the news. “Hongbin and I are leaving for the weekend to check the hotel in which we want to hold the reception. And we were wondering if you could stay at our apartment to look after our baby,” she finished, and my smile faded away.

Baekhyun had got such a commendable task, whereas I was to take care of their dog.

Moreover, Jiwoo’s plan wasn’t to stroke her ego by making me feel like shit and given the fact I assumed that makes me a bitch, too.

Perhaps, I was going too hard on her. I mean…that accident had happened a long time ago, she should already be redeemed from her fault.

“Sure, no problem,” I smiled sheepishly at her, glad the waiter brought our order, saving me from further embarrassment which was just bound to happen if we continued to talk.

***

On a Friday evening, I arrived at their apartment, and when I stepped inside, they gave me the key and a list of my duties for the weekend. I had never had a dog, and the lovebirds knew I was inexperienced, so a few tips came in handy.

“Call us if you need anything,” Jiwoo said, and they were gone. I’d be too if I had a fiancé with whom I could test out all positions in the hotel’s bed. Unfortunately, single people like me were to watch over pets rather than have a romantic weekend outside the town.

The moment they closed the doors behind them, I dropped my bag on the floor, plopped down onto the couch and turn on the TV, so I could hear the noise when reading the tips they had left me. Take her out for a walk at least twice a day. Easy. Make sure not to forget to feed her and give her some water. Obviously. She loves belly rubs and any other form of affection. Okay?

So far it was easy.

“Do you want to go for a walk?” I asked her when she ran up to the couch, standing on two feet, her front paws scratching my thigh gently with manicured claws. Excitedly, she wagged her tail, and I smiled, thinking maybe I should get myself a dog, too. Then at least it would love me. “Where does Jiwoo keep the leash?” I asked the dog, although I didn’t expect to receive a reply. Besides, I knew that Jiwoo never used the leash because the dog was incredibly obedient to her, and I didn’t want to risk it losing somewhere.

After what seemed a muffled bark, the dog ran away to the hallway, and I followed her. When I saw her a moment later, she had a leash in her mouth, and I was impressed.

Is every dog so intelligent?

Quickly though clumsily, I attached the leash to the dog-collar. Then, I put my shoes on, and we were ready to go. Thankfully, their apartment was located near the park, and we didn’t have to take a thirty-minute stroll which would be necessary if I took her to my place. The dog was frightened of new areas, so bringing her to my flat was out of the question.

Within an hour we were back.

It was a peaceful evening. I opened the bottle of wine and watched the ‘Bridget Jones’ Diary’ almost from the beginning. And when Bridget was exchanging emails with Daniel, the dog approached me again, looking at me with its beautiful doe eyes. I didn’t have the heart to let her stay on the carpet, so I picked her up and placed on my thighs remembering the daily dose of belly rubs she was entitled to receive.

“You know…I’ll probably be like Bridget,” I spoke to the dog, caressing her muzzle. “You know…minus the part where Daniel and Mark have that epic fight. And all that romance.” I added, yet feeling somewhat comforted. The dog was fluffy, and it just emitted love, and I couldn’t even be sad at the prospect of my spinsterhood. “Maybe I should get a dog, too? Are all dogs as lovely as you are? You’re right; you’re the cutest.”

In peace we continued watching the movie; between the two of us, I seemed more interesting in it even though I had already seen it at least twenty times. And when it ended, she was sleeping soundly on my laps, and I couldn’t bring myself to move, afraid I could wake her. She looked even cuter with her eyes closed, breathing soundly.

Carefully, I reached for the bottle of wine, pouring the alcohol into my glass. It was already warm, but since I have already drunk the rest of the bottle, it didn’t matter that much anymore. Sipping it slowly, I picked up my phone to check the time and possible notifications. It was surprising to see a text from Baekhyun.

The Cutest Butt | 21:37 | they didn’t tell me what they want me to play!

The Cutest Butt | 21:37 | have you got any ideas?

The Cutest Butt | 21:38 | i seriously need help

The Cutest Butt | 21:40 | i see you’re active

The Cutest Butt | 21:40 | …

The Cutest Butt | 21:47 | fine, it’ll be your fault

The Cutest Butt | 21:47 | cotton eye Joe it is.

Wow, he even typed the period. He must’ve got pissed with my unresponsive ass. On the other hand, it served him right for not contacting me earlier. Why does he only text me when he needs something? That’s disappointing.

“Why is he like that?” I asked the dog who was still sleeping comfortably on my thighs. “Why am I like that? He could ask me to help him rob a bank, and I’d probably do it,” I shook my head, putting the wine glass away.

Me | 23:58 | sorry, I’ve been busy

Before I could double text him, he beat me to it.

The Cutest Butt | 23:58 | doing what?

The Cutest Butt | 23:59 | what’s more important than your friend’s wedding?

Me | 00:00 | none of your business

Maybe it was a bit harsh, but I had just watched Bridget Jones’ Diary and drunk a whole bottle of wine, I was emotional. Moreover, he deserved it. Why did he have to involve me when he could phone them? I tried to get over him, and it’d be much easier if he just ignored me without giving me false hope!

Me | 00:00 | literally anything is more important

I added playfully, giggling at the response. I was the worst friend Jiwoo could have.

The Cutest Butt | 00:01 | don’t be surprised when Jiwoo sees the screenshots

Me | 00:01 | is that a threat?

Me | 00:01 | you gotta try harder than that

Me | 00:02 | you won’t take me out that easily

The Cutest Butt | 00:02 | will see about that

The Cutest Butt | 00:03 | btw cotton eye Joe sounds not that bad

The Cutest Butt | 00:03 | I mean the piano cover

Me | 00:03 | …

Me | 00:04 | wow

Me | 00:04 | maybe you should play ‘their’ song?

The Cutest Butt | 00:05 | and that would be???

Me | 00:05 | how should I know?

Me | 00:06 | besides you should be texting them

Me | 00:06 | not me

The Cutest Butt | 00:07 | but you’re Jiwoo’s friend

The Cutest Butt | 00:07 | you know her better than anyone

The Cutest Butt | 00:08 | and that means you must know their song

The Cutest Butt | 00:08 | women talk about everything, no?

The Cutest Butt | 00:08 | I bet you know every detail about Hongbin’s dick

I rolled my eyes. Yeah, he was right; Jiwoo had shared this kind of information with me, though I’d really appreciate it if she hadn’t.

Me | 00:09 | I wish I didn’t

Me | 00:09 | and don’t you think you’re getting off the topic?

The Cutest Butt | 00:09 | you’re right

The Cutest Butt | 00:10 | so… the song

Me | 00:10 | I don’t remember?

The Cutest Butt | 00:10 | how can you not remember???

Me | 00:11 | you have no idea what crap she texts me daily

The Cutest Butt | 00:11 | ???

Me | 00:12 | rlly

Me | 00:12 | she once told me her co-worker had a nice ass for a Gemini…

The Cutest Butt | 00:13 | …

The Cutest Butt | 00:13 | nah

The Cutest Butt | 00:13 | you’re lying

The Cutest Butt | 00:13 | it can’t be

Oh, how much I wished it was a lie. Unfortunately, the reality was different, and it’d be nice if she spared me at least half the horoscope bullshit.

Me | 00:16 | I just looked through her spotify playlists

Me | 00:16 | ‘Ain’t for sunshine’ shows up like in all of them

The Cutest Butt | 00:18 | should’ve figured that out

The Cutest Butt | 00:18 | everything must be about her

Me | 00:19 | yeah

Me | 00:19 | that’s her

The Cutest Butt | 00:20 | thanks

The Cutest Butt | 00:21 | I don’t know what I’d do without you

My heart skipped a beat; why did he have to say that and confuse me even more? I am suffering when he’s so kind to me. Can he ignore me like any other uninterested man? Then it’d be much easier to get rid of this frustrating attraction.

Though texting him was fun, I decided to leave him on read. It was late anyway, so he’d assume I fell asleep. Besides, what should I reply to that?

Gently, I tried to pick up the dog, but I wasn’t careful enough, and she woke up. She didn’t seem mad though, so I sighed in relief, letting her run to her dog bed.

***

On Sunday, I got a call from Jiwoo. Clearly, they had been fucking (she never said it, but it was a reasonable assumption) the entire weekend, and they hadn’t done any reconnaissance, so they decided to prolong their little trip for another day. According to what she told me, they had already acquainted their bosses prior informing me, expecting I’d be delighted to stay longer at their place with their dog.

“Okay, but don’t be sad when your dog loves me more,” I retorted, and she didn’t even bother to protest; her dog long forgotten, since Hongbin, was and was going to remain her top priority for a very long time.

“Actually,” Jiwoo started, making me curious. She surely sounded as if she was plotting something. “Hongbin isn’t yet convinced about the location, but I love it. You should’ve seen it; you’d fall in love with it immediately.” Jiwoo explained, and I sighed, expecting her next words.

She liked the place, and I would be surprised, more like gobsmacked, if she let Hongbin have the wedding of his dreams. Occasionally, she could act pretty selfish, and apparently, her reception was going to prove my speculation. And if Hongbin dared to object, being the stubborn woman she is, he’d have to give in any way, or else she might even cancel the wedding.

“There’s going to be a wedding tomorrow, and I want him to see how great it’s going to be. If some peasants can have a magical wedding here, think how amazing mine could be!” Jiwoo spoke, and I hummed in agreement, knowing it was the easiest way to talk to her since she would try to convince me until I’d capitulate. “He has to see the final design, and he’ll agree. He always agrees with me,” she chimed in, and I rolled my eyes since Baekhyun had been right all along; Hongbin’s a complete henpecked husband!

“Okay, so when are you coming back exactly?” I asked, needing the details. Taking care of her puppy was great, but I wanted to sleep in my bed which was way more comfortable than their couch.

“On Tuesday around noon the latest,” Jiwoo declared, and I hoped it was her final word without a possibility of prolongation. Though her cute dog was keeping me company, I missed hanging out with my other friends at my place–inviting them over to Jiwoo’s would be, in my opinion, an abuse of hospitality. “Oh, and one more thing, do you think you can do me a favor?” I’d be foolish if I didn’t see it coming.

“What is it?”

“I’ve just booked the resort on the 13th of June. Would it be too much if I asked you to book the chapel on our behalf? I know the date is like eleven months away, but it’s better to be safe than sorry, right?” Jiwoo announced, and I giggled at her diligence which was almost out of her character. Now, I’m sure Hongbin isn’t the one she’d allow to get away.

Since I was Jiwoo’s friend and not Hongbin’s, I didn’t ask further questions such as ‘What if he doesn’t agree?’ or ‘Are you sure you don’t want to discuss it with him first?’ Instead, I just nodded, inquiring for further detail. “Which chapel do you have in mind?”

“Thanks! You’re the best! I’ll text you the address.” Jiwoo exclaimed excitedly, and I rolled my eyes. Whenever I need a favor, Jiwoo’s going to be first I’ll ask. She owes me that much. “See you on Tuesday! Take care of my baby!”

“Obviously,” I spoke, though she ended the call before I said goodbye.

Shaking my head in disbelief, I threw my phone on the couch. “Jiwoo is crazy; you know that, right?” I asked her dog, as I leaned forward to pet her. “It’s Sunday, what do you want to do?” The dog just wagged its tail, as I wondered what activity we could take up.  I had already taken her for a walk; her bowl was full like always since I didn’t want her to starve even if that meant overfeeding her. She wouldn’t gain weight under my supervision after all. Besides, I’d rather have her overfed than starved.

“Do you want to watch television?” I inquired, reaching for a remote. She didn’t seem to mind, so I turned it on. Unfortunately, when I found something interesting to watch, I heard a doorbell, interrupting my quality alone time. Grumpily, I raised from the couch, and shuffled towards the door, annoyed at whoever was waiting outside the apartment.

Yawning, I unlocked the door and swung them open.

“Baekhyun? What are you doing here?” I asked, perplexed, though he seemed to be even more shocked to see me.

“I meant to ask you the same question,” he replied, still confused upon seeing me instead of Jiwoo or Hongbin. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m taking care of their dog. Don’t you remember Jiwoo asking me to do that?” I explained, referring to the dinner we had had last week. “And what do I owe the pleasure if you don’t mind me asking?” I urged him, sending him a warm smile.

“Today is the poker’s night,” Baekhyun started, as he stared behind me, studying the apartment. “Where’s that bastard? I was supposed to pick him up.”

“Their stay at the resort prolonged. I was on the phone with Jiwoo a while ago, and she said they would be back on Tuesday.” I explained slowly, but my tone didn’t seem to calm him down. Baekhyun was mad at Hongbin for not notifying him earlier, and I couldn’t blame him.

“I’m gonna kill him,” Baekhyun stated, as he pulled out his phone, texting Hongbin furiously.

“Do you want to come inside?” I proposed, taking a step to the right, giving him space to walk through the doorframe. Still staring at his phone, he walked inside, and I locked the door. “You know…we can empty their fridge in revenge,” I proposed, and Baekhyun hummed in response.

“Sorry. What were you saying?” Baekhyun asked me, as he plopped on the couch. He was too focused on yelling at Hongbin via text, so he completely ignored my existence. It hurt, but only a little bit. I tend to ignore my surroundings too when I’m engrossed in doing something.

“Do you want to eat everything out of their fridge in revenge? They have some pretty expensive wine in there which was tempting me to drink it, and now, I have an excuse to pop that bottle,” I spoke, smiling mischievously, and Baekhyun cocked his eyebrow, thinking about my proposition which was irresistible.

“I’m always down with wine, especially when it’s expensive,” Baekhyun casually replied before he stood up and went to the kitchen with me. “Let me,” he offered his help when he saw me struggling with the corkscrew.

“Thanks,” I smiled sheepishly, as I took a step to the side, my eyes studying his handsome figure. “I’ll get the glasses.”

“You know…it’s fortunate that I’ve run into you,” Baekhyun started, as he poured us wine, handing me one of the glasses.

“Why is that?” I asked out of curiosity.

Baekhyun wanted to meet with me? Why? He made it crystal clear that he wasn’t interested.

“I’ll tell you when you’re drunk, you’ll be easier to convince,” Baekhyun said ominously, and I creased my forehead, wondering what he wanted from me. It sounded way too suspicious for my liking, but on the other hand, it was Baekhyun; he couldn’t want anything serious from me. It couldn’t be as scary as he made it out to seem.

“You seriously overestimate my alcohol tolerance,” I commented, and Baekhyun smiled. “I’m tipsy after two beers; you can ask away,” I urged, looking away, too shy to look into his beautiful eyes. “Unless you want me to help with another wedding, I think you have a high chance of me saying yes,” I added, and Baekhyun seemed to relax. “So…what is it?”

Baekhyun scratched the back of his head, thinking deeply of how to voice his request.

“I really shouldn’t be asking you that, you have better things to do,” Baekhyun hesitated, but I smiled assuring him I was okay with helping him regardless of his problem. “To cut the story short, my parents are ecstatic about Hongbin’s wedding, and my mother was asking me about my girlfriend, and in order to get her off my back, I lied that I have one, and now, she wants me to bring her to my father’s birthday party,” Baekhyun explained the situation, and I nodded in apprehension.

Thankfully, my parents aren’t like that. The idea of me being a crazy cat lady must have grown on them by now. It was sad, but it was still better than having them force me to start dating. Judging my Baekhyun’s current mood, I was right. My fate was slightly better.

“I don’t really have female friends except for you and Jiwoo, and since Jiwoo is out of the question, I was wondering…I was wondering if you could…you know…pretend to be my girlfriend?” Baekhyun stuttered, and it was adorable. I looked at him in confusion still digesting the information, and when Baekhyun noticed my blank expression, he stared at me carefully, afraid that he crept me out. “You’re my only hope.”

“What?” I blinked, not having wrapped my head around it yet.

“It’s stupid, right?”

The main problem of fake dating was that eventually, one party falls for another, yet given the current circumstances, it was a little too late for that; I was already doomed, and the prospect of Baekhyun catching feelings for me seemed highly unlikely. It couldn’t get worse than it already was, so in some weird way, the deal between us happened to be mutually beneficial. Baekhyun’s mother would stop pestering him about dating, and I’d have a glimpse of how dating Baekhyun would be like.

“It is,” I started truthfully, “but you sound like it’s your only option.” Baekhyun nodded, hoping that I’ll agree. “You owe me so much for that!” I spoke, and Baekhyun smiled so brightly the corners of his mouth almost reached his eyes. In glee, he approached me, wrapped his hands around my waist, and picked me up, swirling around.

“Thank you so much!” he exclaimed ecstatically, and I placed my hands on his shoulders for safety when he began to lose his strength. “You’re the best!”

“I know,” I added casually, reaching for the glass of wine, downing the alcohol. “And when that party is exactly?” I inquired as I sat on the couch, refilling the wine, whereas Baekhyun followed suit.

“This Friday,” he answered sheepishly, and I nodded my head, waiting for more details. Fake dating thing always comes with a thorough plan, so Baekhyun had better have everything thought through. “I said I was going to arrive around five. Also, my mother shouldn’t bother us that much. I warned her that we’ve just started dating, so I hope she saves the marriage and children discussion for another time.”

“Well…I hope she’ll like me,” I spoke my true doubts. Though being in a relationship with Baekhyun was not possible, it’d be nice if at least his parents approved of me.

“Of course, she’ll like you! Don’t even think otherwise,” Baekhyun replied instantly, making me smile; he wasn’t embarrassed by me, and moreover, he seemed certain I’d do a great first impression. Then the question was, why had he never asked me out?

“So you’ll work out all the details such as first date and the rest, right?” I inquired, and Baekhyun nodded, informing me he’s going to do all the work and all I have to do is to look beautiful and nod my head. “It sounds perfect to me.”

“Yeah, don’t bother that pretty head of yours, I’ll have everything covered,” Baekhyun confirmed, and I looked away, afraid he might see me blushing.

“Oh, and speaking of which, Jiwoo called me to book the chapel, do you think you can go with me? I don’t want to go alone.” I confessed, trying to skip the part of sill not convinced Hongbin; Baekhyun was his friend, and I didn’t want more drama to stir.

“Sure, I’ll pick you up after work.”

“That would be lovely.” And with that, we clinked our glasses, ready to empty the bottle and possibly as much food as they had inside the fridge. They owned us this much.

***

Me | 16:34 | got off work earlier

Me | 16:34 | no need to pick me up

Me | 16:34 | let’s just meet at the chapel

The Cutest Butt | 16:41 | ok

The Cutest Butt | 16:41 | I’m done too

The Cutest Butt | 16:42 | see you in a bit

By the time I arrived, Baekhyun was already waiting for me outside of the chapel, checking something on his phone. Judging by the vibration inside of my purse, he was texting me, but since I was already there, I didn’t bother to check the message.

“Sorry, the bus was a bit late,” I apologized, as I smiled at him.

“It’s okay, I just got here, too,” he replied, putting his phone into his pocket. “I saw the priest going this way, are you ready?” Baekhyun asked, and I nodded shyly, letting him lead the way. In silence, we walked into the priest’s office, my hands all sweaty without any reason.

We were standing in front of the doors, and Baekhyun looked at me as if he sensed how tensed I was. “I’ll make sure Jiwoo works twice as hard preparing my wedding,” I spoke bitterly, to which Baekhyun chuckled.

“Serves them right,” Baekhyun agreed, and when he saw me relax under his warm smile, he knocked on the door, and we both got inside.

“Hello there, how can I help you?” The priest asked as soon as he saw us enter.

“We would like to book a wedding date,” I said quietly, embarrassed.

“Ah, young love,” the priest sighed excitedly, confusing us with a couple. Unfortunately, it was nothing of sorts; we were only helping our friends. Though, I fully understood his assumption. “Every time I see a couple who wants to tie the knot, my heart grows a little,” he added, and I smiled awkwardly. “How did you meet?”

“Through mutual friends,” Baekhyun started, probably treating this conversation as a rehearsal for the weekend. If he managed to fool the priest, he could trick his mother, too. Or at least, that’s what I hoped. “I thought of ditching the meeting, but now I am so lucky that I didn’t,” he added, squeezing my hand, surprising me.

“It must be fate,” the priest concluded, and Baekhyun firmly nodded his head, agreeing with him, whereas I was still shocked by our interlocked hands, I barely paid attention to what they were talking about. “So what date do you have in mind?” The priest asked, and Baekhyun shook my hands, pulling me out of the daze.

“The June thirteenth,” I replied, smiling sheepishly.

“Is it an anniversary?” The priest inquired, as he reached for a book which seemed to be the register or the schedule. “I love when couples pick a date depending on an anniversary. Two weeks ago, a couple had a wedding on the day of the golden wedding anniversary of the bride’s grandparents. It was a lovely ceremony.”

I looked at Baekhyun, relying on him and his skill of improvising.

“It’s the day of our first date,” Baekhyun spoke, confidently smiling at me. Damn, he was good. I mean…if I didn’t know the sad truth, I’d definitely believe him, too. “When I saw her, I just knew I had to make her my wife,” Baekhyun added, and I rolled my eyes upon hearing the bullshit which left his mouth.

“The thirteenth is free,” the priest announced, and we beamed, “can I have your names?”

“Choi Jiwoo and Lee Hongbin.”

[pantoneyoongi]

neon signs [masterlist] | myg

title ; neon signs [ drabble series ]  pairing ; campus crush!yoongi x campus crush!you 

description ;

namjoon doesn’t think it can get any clearer outside of yoongi building a giant neon sign saying i have the absolute biggest crush on you but apparently, book smarts don’t exactly translate when it comes to you and your massive crush on min yoongi.

(alternatively: namjoon and hoseok try for three years straight to get you and yoongi together.)

tags ; college!au, fluff, idiots to lovers, they’re both kinda shy and also stupid dense and therefore terribly cute, both of them know the other is the university’s campus crush but neither of them know they themselves are campus crushes, best friend!namjoon, yoongi’s best friend!hoseok, namjoon and hoseok are the most patient and exasperated besties in the world

tracklist ; happening again - katherine li, something - gnash, first love - exo, dimple - bts, healthy - prettymuch

notes ; 

um so i absolutely had an angstier fic planned for yoongi but then i thought of this and well. i couldn’t resist 

this will probably be another drabble series where i release it out of order but the masterlist will be in order :) i don’t have a schedule planned but i hope y’all enjoy !! 

blog tag ; series: nsyg

freshman year

↠ it’s a small world after all  alternatively, the first time you and yoongi meet 

↠ we are not cut out for this  alternatively, the origins of campus crush 

↠ you do this for fun?  alternatively, yoongi catches feelings (real)

↠ hoodie to marriage to children pipeline  alternatively, namjoon gets sick of lending you his sweaters

↠ interlude: do you know something?  alternatively, namjoon and hoseok try to pry a (not-so) secret out of each other 

↠ nice gloves  alternatively, yoongi decides winter isn’t that bad 

↠ just a really nice friend  alternatively, namjoon knows you better than you know yourself 

↠ jealousy is a disease  alternatively, yoongi meets seokjin 

↠ let’s talk about it  alternatively, yoongi considers sending hoseok to an early grave 

sophomore year

↠ not this again  alternatively, you definitely still have a crush on min yoongi 

↠ interlude: welcome to the family alternatively, hoseok adopts taehyung

↠ absolutely, without a doubt, no -- coming soon! alternatively, yoongi turns someone down in front of you

↠ i thought you were telling taehyung -- coming soon! alternatively, namjoon and hoseok forgot to tell taehyung The Plan 

↠ who do you think you’ve been fooling? -- coming soon! alternatively, you’re beyond the point of denying your feelings 

↠ those are called dates  alternatively, you and yoongi have weekly dates (fake) 

↠ troy bolton has nothing on yoongi  alternatively, yoongi tries to impress you (and succeeds)

↠ whenever you need me  alternatively, you have a bad day 

↠ coming soon!

junior year

↠ halloweentown is a top tier movie -- coming soon! alternatively, hoseok is not allowed to plan halloween anymore 

↠ chocolates are not a friend gift -- coming soon! 

↠ almost -- coming soon! alternatively, that one time yoongi almost kisses you 

↠ coming soon!

senior year 

↠ coming soon!

[chansoobookshelf]

Heaven Help a Fool Who Falls in Love (22,814 words) by London9Calling Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: EXO (Band) Rating: Explicit Relationships: Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Park Chanyeol Characters: Do Kyungsoo | D.O, Park Chanyeol, EXO Ensemble Genre: Angst, Friendship AU: Fake dating, Domestic, Roommate Summary:

Kyungsoo panics when his ex-boyfriend moves next door. Chanyeol listens, and then he agrees.

Thank you  the-sarcastic-mrs-know-it-all for the submission!

Follow chansoobookshelf to see more Chansoo fics. :)

[baeksoobookshelf]

under false pretenses (10464 words) by tatoeba Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: EXO Rating: M Relationships: Baeksoo Characters: Byun Baekhyun, Do Kyungsoo | D.O, Park Chanyeol, Kim Jongdae | Chen Genre: Fluff AU: fake dating Summary: When Baekhyun asks Kyungsoo to be his fake boyfriend for a week, he doesn’t expect him to say yes, and now he’s not sure that he can keep his real feelings separate from his pretend ones.

follow baeksoobookshelf to see more baeksoo fics!