#oh and i really need to figure out that dedication lol

[onthewaytosomewhere]

Sunday - yeah sentences & last line challenge cuz i'm lazy and doing them all in one

so i've been tagged by some lovely peeps @england-would-fall @taste-thewaste @firenati0n @piratefalls

So I need to get this thing done - as it has been lamenting on my drive waiting for me to just finish it already - and stop playing around with all the other fics so I'm posting it in hopes that might encourage me to get it frakkin' done already - and i wasted hours this afternoon tracking down one detail lol - but hey that's what happens i guess lol

So this is what I have lovingly been calling gotta sign 'em all - it's a little thing inspired by TZP and his fascination with signing a little book (and well, with him being so ACD-coded it just fits) it's a lot more than 6 or 7 sentences but i just need to get some of it out in the ether

They are nearing the end, both of Henry’s ability to continue and the line of people with books for him to sign, when the girl whose book Henry just signed peeks behind him at Alex. She turns the book to the dedication page and gestures towards Alex. “Mr. Claremont-Diaz,” and fuck if that doesn’t make him feel old, but the girl can’t be more than 13, so he sucks it up. “Would you be willing to sign the dedication page of my book? Your story helped me come out as bisexual to my parents; they’re from the US, and my father’s Mexican family is very Catholic. Seeing you have family of similar background who support you after everything happened to you made me hope mine could be as well.” Alex feels Henry’s hand grab his and squeeze it. This is one of the things that still amazes him: how in sync they are with each other. How even though Henry is drained from a taxing day, Henry is there to support Alex unequivocally. He nods to her and reaches for her book. He takes a deep, centering breath and squeezes Henry’s hand once quickly before letting it go with a smile so he can sign. Henry hands him the Sharpie he has taken to carrying in his inner jacket pockets, and he grips the pen, looking back to the girl in front of him. “I am just floored that my story—our story,” he says, gesturing between himself and Henry, because his story is and always will be intertwined with Henry’s, ever since they first started this, “gave you the courage to be yourself. I hope it all went well with your family.” The girl nods, and Alex sees the wet sheen to her eyes, the tears she is attempting to hold back, and blinks to keep his own at bay. “Yes, it did, thank you,” her smile wobbles a little as she responds, and Alex moves the conversation on for all of them. “Who am I making this out to?” Alex asks, pen poised above the page, ready to sign. He pauses a moment to read the dedication he has memorized as she gives her name.  [insert sappy – probably not good enough – dedication to Alex - probably something about you and me always maybe breaking down walls] He writes her name in the book, adds a few lines about bisexual solidarity, and signs his name with a flourish. He hands the book back to her, and she looks at the page, smiling at his words. Alex is not the most self-aware man, and he’ll admit this, but even he knows that moment has him feeling things he didn’t think it would.

oh i also got a few of last line tags yesterday so here goes for that too

He decides to help her out and says, “Hey, I see you got your copy of Henry’s book; glad ya got one before the vultures at that shelter swooped in.”

so some no-pressure Sunday tags and well if ya already posted let's just assume ya had an open tag that i snagged and i'll find it lol @adreamareads @anincompletelist @bitbybitwrites @dragonflylady77 @duchessdepolignaca03 @firstsprinces @forever-fixating @heybuddy-drabbles @hgejfmw-hgejhsf (hope ya had a good time in austin Val! (at least i assume based on wednesdays post that's wehre ya were)) @inexplicablymine @itsmaybitheway @junebugclaremontdiaz @kiwiana-writes @lizzie-bennetdarcy @magicandarchery @nocoastposts @priincebutt @sophie1973 @stellarm @sunnysideprince @suseagull04 @typicalopposite and an open tag

[heartfullofleeches]

Monster reader is my top fav of ALL readers.

Like just imagine if Monster reader just wanted food so they go into a place that looks like it has food. And somehow walks into a cult meeting that give their upmost dedication to some monster god that looks similar to monster reader lol.

“ Today, we have come together to give our upmost dedication and beliefs into our savior. Our savior who gave us our life and our creation! And that is why today, we will be sacrificing this fool who dared to disrespect- Door opens

“ Oh. Sorry for interrupting, but I was wondering if you have any spare food?”

“….. OUR SAVIOR HAS FINALLY RETURNED!”

“ FORGIVE US FOR BASKING IN YOUR PRESENCE WITH ASKING MY LORD!! EVERYONE GET ON YOUR KNEES AND PRAY FOR FORGIVENESS!”

Lol.

(small mention of gore)

Two months, fourteen days, and five hours.

The longest you've ever went without food. If you were human, the time frame would have held a heavy tax on your body if not killing you out right, but all it did leave was dull pains in your abdomen. During said period, you found a nice cave to sleep in and recover from the injuries sustained in your escape from the facility that stole you from your home. The rest cured your broken bones and scrapes, but unfortunately like every living creature - you needed to eat.

The area you resided in didn't have much going for it in the food category. Most of the edible plants and berries had been picked clean, and you were took out of practice to hunt for your meal. Being locked in a white room with meat thrown at you randomly really put you out of shape in more ways than one. Your fears of having to leave the forest were extinguished with the discovery of an old wrapper found one evening near a neck of the woods you had yet to explore.

The guards at that place walked around with similar papers, filling you with unease, but that anxiety goes out the door the second your nose picks up on a familiar smell. Raw meat.

Climbing over some rocks, you spot a collection of wooden enclosures with strange symbols painted atop. The books the researchers made you read never talked about those. Their knowledge led you to the conclusion that these buildings were cabins and the one where that alluring smell was coming from was the closest to you. There was noise from the neighboring buildings, but if you acted quietly then maybe you could just grab enough food to hold you off for a while and they'd be none the wiser.

Creeping past the red tap that secludes the camp from the rest of the forest, a shrill scream pierces the heavens. It pins you to place, the memories of the cellmates you lost rushing to mind. Is someone hurt? Despite your experiences with others, you wanted to help, but you needed strength in case of any danger.

You hurry to the door, breaking the lock and flinging yourself into the darkness. Your advanced sight guides you through the shadows and straight to your prize. The blinding light from the icebox is the most beautiful pain you've ever witnessed. Forgetting the manners you learned overtime, you claw open various bags of dead flesh and wolf down whatever you can get your hands on. A few of the bags have names on them, but you're too hungry to care why. Bewteen the wet squish of your teeth gnashing shut, a hush blows through the crowd forming outside.

"I told you I heard something, dude. Probably a fucking bear or something. It's eating the reserves."

"Relax. I'll handle it."

The light flickers on. You've been found The guilt you felt for eating the human's food without asking turns into panic as the first thing you see is the barrel of a shotgun pointed square blank at your face. You drop the meat in your hands and cower against the back wall; your first week of freedom spent pushing bullets of the same caliber out your spine. Your lips curl over your teeth as it clatters to the ground in front of you, still afraid as if it could do anything without a handler.

"Could it be?..."

You look up at the robed figures filling the room, the creases of their faces twisted in awe or fright. The first to fall is the one holding the weapon, followed by the rest of their group as they fall to their knees, bowing their heads and rising their hands in prayer. One of the memb pulls out another still standing in shock above you.

"The day of your arrival has finally come. Forgive us, Master. We didn't recognize you at first in such a weak state. Please spare us of your spite."

Master? That's an odd name. You quite liked the one a kind human gave you once. Y/n rolls off the tongue nicer.

"If you still require sustenance, we will leave you to your feast unless you'd prefer the fresher product of our harvest. If I may offer a suggestion, we can mend your clothes and prepare you a bath to cleanse you of our tainted blood."

Bath. Those were the only highlight of the facility. Why are these people being so nice to you compared to them? It made you feel terrible considering you were the one that broke into their home. Hunger beating the conflicting emotions, you continue to eat the meat until your stomach could carry no more. You probably stopped a few bites before you reached maximum capacity due to all the eyes on you making you a little uncomfortable.

You step out of the cabin, wiping your mouth with the bottom of your shirt to be polite. The cult watches your every move, but not one person makes a peep. Considering you were the center of attention, they must be waiting for you.

"Um... hello."

The members of the cult collectively lose their minds.

"Our messiah! They speak! To lowly beings as us."

"It really is them! I'm sorry for ever doubting your presence, my lord."

"This form suits you best in my expert opinion. Let us gather in celebration for your arrival."

They gather around you, examining your claws and taking measurements of your body to prepare proper clothing for you. The questions and praise your bombarded with make your head spin, but soon enough you're led to a bathing house in another cabin and your stress is washed away by the warm water and those who tend to your mated clothes and hair. Not long into your bath, others come with robes for you to wear. They sob and shrivel beneath your words of thanks, everyone here does.

After dinner where you sit at the head of the table, too full to eat a bite of food, you're allowed to wonder the grounds until your cabin has been fully furnished. You enter the room where the screams originated from hours ago, shocked by what you discover.

A mural of a beast similar to you was painted on the far wall in fine paint and what smelled like blood. Dual irises, onyx fangs, the cross scar in the center of its chest. This creature was you, a bigger, menacing and all powerful you. Below the painting was a dead human spilt open from sternum to belly, the bones broken away and organs scooped clean. Backing away from the scene, you bump into someone.

"We are so glad that you've come to us, Master. Please grant us the lasting benefit of your presence for the rest of our days - and beyond

[nofingjustaninchident]

⛧° Cooking classes with Uncle Leo

⛧° 。 ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆༺♱༻⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ 。°⛧

content: leo valdez x fem!reader blurb

warnings: probably cursing, bad spanish, not proofread. ig that's it?? lmk!!

a/n: i didn't really like this, but i'm posting it anyways lol. dedicated to covey and @/pinkdiorluvr cuz i know they both love leo hehehe

⛧° 。 ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆༺♱༻⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ 。°⛧

You never learnt how to cook. A disturbed childhood with a shitty mortal dad was not the best place to get cooking lessons. Or to learn anything, on that matter.  

The point is, cooking skills aren’t something you possess, and that annoys you beyond limits. That took you to asking your best friend, Leo Valdez, for cooking classes. Which he immediately accepted. I mean, who wouldn’t want to teach your crush how to cook? 

"So, when can I go to your house?” You asked, which made him snap back to reality from just admiring your features.  

“Uh... my house?” He asked, as he completely forgot what you guys were previously chatting about. He was too busy with noticing how the freckles coated your cheeks, and how your black hair framed your face in the prettiest way possible. Oh, he was down bad.  

“Are you even listening to me right now, Leo?” You asked, waving your hand in front of his face. 

“Uh, yeah, ‘course I am. You were talking about the... cooking classes, right?” He asked, a sheepish smile making his way to his lips. You just rolled your eyes. 

“Yes, I am. When can I come to your house, hm?” You asked again. 

“Tomorrow at seven sounds good to you?” He asked. 

“Yeah, that’d be great.” You answer, smiling softly as well.  

“You’re gonna learn how to make the perfect pasta alla carbonara, my dear apprentice. It's one of my specialties.” He said, passing an arm across your shoulders and pulling you to him.  

Before you could even pull away so you could leave, he planted a kiss with a loud ‘mwah’ to it and darted off, laughing. You were left confused, blushing and smiling as a toddler who just got a pack of candy.  

⛧° 。 ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆༺♱༻⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ 。°⛧ 

Leo stood in his kitchen, a grin plastered on his face as he waited for his best friend’s arrival. He was looking forward to it, since he knew that it was a chance of absolutely zero percent that this whole class didn’t end in absolute chaos.  

He leaned against the counter, tapping his fingers impatiently, trying to figure when you’d finally come, what clothes you’d be wearing, what shoes you’d wear and in which way your hair would be. Would it be down? Would you put it in a ponytail? A bun? A braid? 

Oh gods, he was such a sucker for that damned daughter of Poseidon.  

Eventually, he heard the rhythmic knock on the door, telling him that you were finally there, much to his happiness.  

“Come on, Valdez, it’s freezing out here!” You complained, just when he finally opened the door and you barged inside, escaping the snow from the outside world. You were in a black coat, wine-red leggings, gloves and a cute scarf so your nose didn’t get too cold. “Finally! Thought you’d leave me out there to die.” 

“I’d never do that, princesa. I mean, at least not today, I need an assistant.” He said jokingly, poking your shoulder and teasing you as you took your coat off.  

“I’m gonna punch you, I swear to all the gods that I know.” She threatened. He just smiled and walked towards the kitchen, with you following right behind him. “So, what’re you gonna teach me today?”  

“We’re gonna make the best pasta ever – carbonara!” He said happily as he pointed at the counter, which was filled with ingredients for the dish – bacon, eggs, flour and cheese were neatly organized in the counter, ready to be turned into a meal. 

“If this goes wrong, I'm ordering a happy meal.” You complained, putting the things you brought to make your favorite dessert, a classic that you learnt with a Brazilian friend of yours – Brigadeiro. It's actually the only thing that you can cook without burning down the whole house.  

“First, we gotta make the pasta.” The latino said, and you grimaced. 

“Why do we have to make it? Isn't it easier to just, you know, buy the pasta and cook it?”  

He shrugged. “Yeah, it’s easier. But making it is so much fun!” He said, with a smile on his face, and started pouring flour on the counter, making a small tower and soon making a hole in it. Then he stopped and looked at you. 

“What? Is there something on my hair?” You asked, brushing off your hair, which made Leo laugh. 

“No, no. I need you to grab six eggs and crack them here.” He said, gesturing towards the bowl.  

“Oh.” You mumbled and picked up the bowl, cracking the eggs in it and being extra careful with the shell. When you finished, you looked at him with puppy eyes. “What now?”  

“Put them here.” He said, gesturing to the hole in the flour. You nodded and poured the eggs there. “Now, you washed your hands, right?” You nodded again. “Great. Now, you have to mix the eggs and the flour until we have a smooth dough; the pasta!” 

You just nodded and put your hands to work. It was cute, since you didn’t seem to know what you were doing, and it was just so cute the way you were unsure on whether you were doing the right thing or not.  

“You’re doing great, y/n/n.” He assured. If you looked up, you’d see a proud smile on his face. 

After a few minutes of squeezing and mixing the dough, it was finally ready. You looked up at Leo’s face, a proud smile on your face and shining eyes. Maybe cooking wasn’t really that bad, after all. Not if you had a good teacher and friend around. 

He was starstruck. He couldn’t even move. You were just so pretty, flour all over your arms and hands, a little spot on your cheek white from when you rubbed the back of your hand on your face. He wanted nothing more than to kiss you in that moment.  

But he knew he couldn’t. He shouldn’t do it. Couldn't risk his friendship with you.  

And yet you were so tempting, so pretty like that. In his kitchen, with his apron – which was slightly too big for your tiny frame – and with him.  

“So, what do we do now?” You asked, interrupting the trance he was in. He shook his head and blushed, embarrassed to be caught like that.  

“Uh... the- the eggs. We need to make the eggs.” He said, blushing after getting caught staring at you. “You can whisk the yolks while I cook the bacon. Is that alright with you?”  

“Mhm. You just need to teach me how to separate the yolks.” You said, with a smile.  

You two continued the cooking, with Leo cooking the bacons till they were golden brown and crispy while you whisked the egg yolks and the cheese together. It was a fun night, where you ate the food you made – which was delicious, by the way – and had fun with your best friend. 

The only out of the ordinary thing was that the whole time you were there, the only thing you wanted was to jump on Leo’s lap and kiss the hell out of him.  

And his train of thought was not that far away from yours. 

Don't get me wrong, he loved to spend platonic time with you, of course. But he really, really wanted to kiss you.  

‘Oh, for my father’s sake, what I wouldn’t give to kiss her.’  

“...what?” You asked, your face clearly redder with his – more than sudden – confession.  

You never thought he’d want to kiss you, much less give yourself the hope that maybe someday that’d happen. No, it was selfish, and you knew – or at least thought – that he’d never ever like his best friend.  

But here he was, saying how much he’d give in exchange for a kiss.  

“Oh, shit- I said that out loud, didn’t I? I’m so sorry, Y/n, you can really pretend this never happened, I just-” AAAAAND he was rambling. Again. So, the easiest way out of that situation was, obviously, shut him up with a kiss.  

He immediately melted. His hands stopped flying around his face and went to graze your neck and waist, unsure, but ready to search.  

It was one of the best kisses you’ve ever had, and it was definitely the most awaited one. His lips were cracked and raspy, and he tasted sweet like the juice you had.  

When you finally pulled away, both of your cheeks were red and there was a smile playing on both of your lips.  

“I kinda love you.” You admited.  

“Good, ‘cause i love you too, princesa.” 

[lloydfrontera]

You know, regarding Lloyd's achievement in history and whether ordinary citizens know him or not made me crave post canon modern au.

Imagine seeing an in universe fanfic authors notes in ao3 or twitter crying about how they simply wanted to write a story set in Lloys time but they just keep diving into rabbit holes.

Kinda like

"So i was writing an historical au set in Alician era where the MC had a detour in Cremo and he was admiring a statue by the sea with a local explaining its history. Of course, I needed to do some research only to found out that Lloyd Frontera, YES, THAT Lloyd Frontera who made the Pantara railroad defeated some sea monster, nearly died and got statue for it"

Maybe someone from Beneto Kingdom being so confused because all he learned from history in school (Beneto history) is that Lloyd is just some brilliant engineer so he got specially confused on why in the movie he was watching set in Alician era is Lloyd fighting a goddamn bone dragon.

I'm interested on how scholars and political figures bemoan and analyse Lloyd's action and achievement but ordinary people's Internet discourse could be so much fun as well.

Javier and Lloyd getting the Alexander and Haphaestion treatment on whether they were lovers or not. The discourse would be so toxic lol.

oh my god forget changing the history of civil engineering forever, sparking the nastiest discourse ever on history/fandom internet forums is lloyd's true greatest achievement akshfksdg

he's the go to historical domain character used to set the time period for a historical movie/book/series. he's the guy writers insert to give their work a more period accurate vibe. everyone knows just enough about him to make really passionate history nerds very angry about all the inaccuracies and made up facts that are taken as common knowledge.

i'm thinking people of completely different online circles all knowing about lloyd in some capacity but regarding completely separate facets of his life and work and being so surprised when they accidentally find yet another whole field lloyd revolutionized. like.

a sword nerd who's really into the concept of the asrahan core technique and knows perfectly well that lloyd helped invent it getting gobsmacked about the fact that's the same guy that laid the ground for modern sewer systems.

a fan of historical romance stories who is used to seeing lloyd as a fun cameo in the background of stories set in the alician period being really confused when they open their book on thermodynamics and see there's a whole chapter dedicated to a method lloyd figured out to create ice without the need of magic.

a train enthusiast who is really fascinated by the rudimentary switchback system lloyd frontera implemented when the concept of a train wasn't even known in the empire being completely dumbfounded when their friends invite them to see a movie about that one time lloyd frontera and his knight defeated a knight of hell in namaran.

i think it's definitely a meme to post "so i was doing research for my asfahan au and went on a rabbit hole and guess who fucking built the qanat that's widely regarded as the only reason the kingdom didn't fall into civil war. take a wild fucking guess" "was it lloyd frontera" "IT WAS FUCKING LLOYD FRONTERA OF COURSE IT WAS"

i'm also certain there would be some guys who think he's overrated and people should really stop talking so much about him when there's so many other historical figures who are just as interesting and not as recognized 🙄. to which people immediately go "mad cause your history blorbo didn't defeat a bone dragon aren't you" at them

Javier and Lloyd getting the Alexander and Haphaestion treatment on whether they were lovers or not. The discourse would be so toxic lol.

they definitely get the alexander and hephaestion treatment you are so correct. they're also the achilles and patroclus of the modern magentano girlies. there's a bunch of 'queer retellings' of their lives. they're the go to example for homoerotic friendships. there's a bunch of edits that mix historical paintings of them with ship fanart with that 'history hates lovers' song playing over them. dudebros get really angry about it. llojavi truthers pull out their 20 pages long annotations that start with "they fucking slept in the same bedroom for years" and it only gets worse.

there's one poor person online who just really fucking wants to know how and why lloyd frontera changed faces one day out of the blue with no one ever explaining it. there's no official records. no member of the royal family ever made a statement about it. why is everyone acting like the frontera family didn't have one eldest son for 25-29 years and one day suddenly had a completely different one. what the fuck is going on.

so. yeah. i'm a little obsessed with this concept actually ajkshdksa

[crescentmel]

i watched the x-men films for the first time ever here are my thoughts *spoilers obviously* :D

small backstory: i was going to go watch Deadpool & Wolverine however i have seen the previous deadpool movies but i’ve never watch the x-men films at all, my knowledge of that universe is minimal. my coworker suggested i at least watch Logan before watching Deadpool & Wolverine so i did.

Logan is easily one of the best Marvel films i have ever watched in my life, like top 3 films for sure it was amazing im still thinking about this movie weeks later. so i watch Deadpool & Wolverine and realize im low key obsessed with logan so might as well watch all the x-men films ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ALSO I HAVE NO KNOWLEDGE FROM THE COMICS DONT COME FOR ME

The Original Trilogy

Overall i enjoyed the first two films, i think The Last Stand might be my least favorite of the whole franchise im not gonna lie

i’m just gonna say it, i was so not here for the Logan & Jean romance, like im kind of a hater so if this upsets you than this post is not for you lmao

ADORED JEANSCOTT WITH MY HEART AND SOUL !!! THEYRE SO FUCKING CUTE !!!!

Right of the bat, Logan & Jean’s romance felt SO forced. like it wasn’t believable for me, in the first movie it felt like Logan decided he was in love with Jean, not that he is actively falling in love with her, it was kinda weird

Meanwhile you can like clearly tell that Scott & Jean are in love with each other, but it feels like Logan’s character is just disregarding that

I understand in the comics it’s supposed to be a love triangle of sorts, i just think that if they wanted to do that for the films they could have portrayed it better

Ororo is an angel i love her

charles & eric need to make out

scott summers you ball of sunshine

i’m glad the rogue crush thing died in the first film bc ohmygod that was hard to watch

my favorite is X2 of this trilogy i really liked the plot and how it expanded more into Logan’s story

The Wolverine Trilogy

Origins wasn’t like, super terrible? i guess? my least favorite of this trilogy for sure though

i liked the plot twist that his girlfriend of 6 years was manipulating him, i didn’t see it coming, i was like WOW that’s fucked up

was disappointed he forgave her like wtf 😭

deadpool thing was weird i didn’t like that

good film to learn logan’s backstory, his brother was so fucking annoying though

The Wolverine was a decent film, if ur looking for an x-men film that’s more action centric than mutant centric this is your film

it felt like a wolverine side quest lol, nothing crazy going on, but i liked it more than Origins

logan is just tired

snake lady’s powers were cool

this girl is never going to see logan again so at least she got what she could

it goes without saying that Logan 2017 is the best film in the whole x-men/fox franchise

i could definitely make a whole post going into a deep dive of Logan but i’ll just keep it short

Logan’s dedication to taking care of Charles warms my heart in a way you cannot imagine, he truly cares so deeply for that man, charles gave him the opportunity of having a new family and i feel like logan will always be grateful for him

Logan & Laura :’)

it was like watching Logan go from only caring about kids in a “i’m a teacher” way to seeing Laura in a “i’m her caretaker now” kind of way, like there was a shift in his character that he wasn’t expecting

my little family of three that definitely lived happily ever after

my favorite scene of the whole film was when Logan realizes that it was his clone self that stabbed Charles, and his immediate gut reaction was to say “It wasn’t me” and to reassure Charles that Logan would NEVER do that

so that Charles would never die thinking one of his closest friends (AND SON FIGURE) would ever betray him like that and kill him

LIKE THAT WAS SO IMPORTANT TO LOGAN, HE DIDNT WANT CHARLES TO DIE THINKING HE KILLED HIM ;_________;

Logan 2017 the film that you are

X-Men Prequel Films

oh boy here go

right off the bat i’m going to say Days of Future Past exceeds all four of these films, so fucking good, my favorite after Logan

but yeah First Class wasn’t like, terrible per say, i just found myself a little bored ngl

absolutely here for eric & charles love story, they’re literally friends to lovers to enemies to still lovers but they’re still enemies i adore it

i liked the character that mystique brought (& jennifer lawrence) but it was just such a jump from the mystique in the first films

also i just think that if eric wants to kill his abuser then he should go for it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just saying charles it was a lil weird u wanted to stop him

i get the premise, setting up the basis of the x-men, but i just found it a little lacking

DAYS OF FUTURE PAST

amazing 10/10 movie, i genuinely enjoyed every second, actually felt like a superhero movie

great balance of logan not knowing what the fuck is going on vs charles knowing exactly what to do next & logan just going along with it i love it

i’ve heard legends of how amazing quicksilver is in these films and this went beyond my expectations, fantastic character AND amazing showcase of his powers, the writers cooked on this, also makes me want to rewatch wandavision bc i didn’t appreciate his character enough son i’m so sorry

prison breaking out eric sequence was amazing

there’s so much more but just overall amazing film

apocalypse was definitely something? i mean it was probably difficult to follow up days of futures past so i can’t blame them, not like the worst film ever but ….. idk

THINGS I LOVED !! young jean & scott :’) !!!!! genuinely so happy to see the beginning of their friendship & romantic relationship, they’re literally so fucking cute AND young storm omfg a baby 🫶🏾

took me a second to realize it was oscar isaac lol, also OUCH eric’s little family but also like wtf was that death ??? 😭

idk plot was just kinda everywhere, nothing super memorable, also i just found it funny that logan was there for like less that 5 minutes and all he did was grunt lmfao at least he popped off on stryker for the millionth time fuck that guy

uhm dark phoenix

the one and only highlight for me for dark phoenix was once again, jean & scott lmfao

the whole solar flare & alien race thing was kinda weird, they didn’t even explain the alien race thing that well, idk what to even say about this movie

i thought it was weird that hank & eric were suddenly jumping on the “let’s kill jean” train when like they know she didn’t mean to kill raven ??? 😭 like wtf

someone explain the timeline bs to me bc i was surprised that jean “died” AGAIN.

wasn’t the point of futures past that logan now in the present is experiencing the new timeline in which charles, scott, and jean are all alive

so why did jean die in this, does that not defeat the purpose, like she’s alive in the present

or were they trying to plan another prequel film in which she comes back, again. then it’s just a repeating storyline from the og trilogy

anyways it was kinda bad

i don’t even want to talk about The New Mutants i’m gonna be real, it was also bad

and that is my long af reaction to watching all the x-men films for the first time. if you’re reading this and read all my yapping then thank you i really appreciate it lol 🫶🏾 in conclusion, i’m sad i missed out on a whole era of these movies when they were being released (probably bc im avengers obsessed lol) but i’m glad i did watch them now, and now i have a new universe to hyper fixate on lmfao (and logan) amazing movies !! gonna go rewatch Logan now ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

also here is my full x-men movies ranking, deadpool films included:

[thecapricunt1616]

The Bear & His Honey Chapter 4

Inspo: Quote- “ Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me- I should know. I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door.”  Dedication: @daysofyellowroses - bestie thank you for inspiring and encouraging me to write. I haven’t felt more alive and inspired then I have in the past few days writing again. Thank you!! This is for you loveyyyy.  Summary: Winnie & Carmy get closer. Have a marg over a mini therapy session, Winnie fixes up Carm’s panic injury. They find out there may just have been a single thread of gold tying them together the entire time.  W/C: 5,484 A/N: Oh my lanta y’all!! 2 chapters in one day?! I promise- PROMISEEE tonight I am figuring a master list out, because I (myself) have been struggling to keep things canon to the story by having to scroll and scroll through my page to find each part to see what I said for Winnie, LOL! So get hype for that, I love this chapter even more then the last bc it has more Carmy, but Richie is so fun to write and I can’t wait for he&Winnies friendship to bloom!!! For my canon Carmy continues going to therapy once or so a week / a support group type talk therapy so that is why he shares more than he would in the show. It’s on his one day off so that’s why he is able to continue making it, and he thrives on routine so going once a week keeps him regulated.  Warnings for BTC: A little bit of smut, angst, mentions of suicide, mentions of vehicular accidents ending in death, mentions of self-harm, mentions of severe injury, negative self-talk, feminine yearning (ofc), fluffy fluff (enough for your teeth to rot out of ur face), panic disorder, mentions of a panic attack, heavy petting, alcohol, mentions of smoking cigarettes, mental health issues, exhausted Carmy LOL

𝒞𝒽𝑒𝒸𝓀 𝒪𝓊𝓉 𝑀𝓎 𝑀𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉!

Read Chapter 3

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The door flings open and before I could even get a good look at him his arms were wrapped tightly around my waist, his large hands resting on my rib cage, and thumbs gently rubbing soothing strokes. I gasped a bit in surprise at the contact, his muscular chest pressed to mine. Pulling me tighter and he nuzzles his face in my neck, his hot breath causing goosebumps to appear all over my skin. I inhaled his scent, a bit of his musky spicy cologne still left over after the long day, cigarette smoke, and a day of working, but he didn’t smell bad at all. I would buy a fucking candle of it if I could, and never burn it so it lasts forever. 

He needed this hug. 

“Thank you f’ comin’, Winnie. I really need a drink, like now” he said quietly and I bit my lip, my hands rubbing soothing circles in the middle of his back. “Course, you think I’d turn down a free drinky-drink from the sexiest little Chef boy in Chicago?” He chuckled into my neck, feeling a small smile press into my skin. “I’m sorry” he pulls away and I finally am able to look at him. 

His hair is a mess, cheeks are stained red, his eyes are bloodshot and glazed over like he’d been crying, he rubs the back of his neck and I see a bit of smeared blood over his forearm. “It’s- it’s okay, hard day?” I asked, twiddling my fingers anxiously, worried he was going to ask me to leave and tell me that it wasn’t a good time anymore. “Ye’” he replied in a sigh and I swallowed hard. 

“D-did you- sorry,” my voice coming out small and meek. I clear my throat “Was it- not a good time for you? It’s fine, totally, totally fine…should have given my number I guess - but I can-“ I motion my thumb to the door down the hall. 

“No! No, please, stay. It’s - it’ll be nice. To like- to see you. I meant sorry about,” he squeezes his eyes shut, shaking his head “sorry for like- flinging myself on you?” He says and I giggle, causing him to look at me.

 “I love hugs! You give great hugs, is that why your sister calls you Bear? Oh my god!! Wait. This is your- that’s so cool, Carmen! You’re so cool!” I motioned to the restaurant, alluding to the name. “That’s so fuckin cool dude!” He smiled, shoving his hands in his pockets shyly and looking at his feet. 

“Thank you, but- uh. No. I’m not…usually a hugger which is why I’m also surprised I did that, guess I needed it. They call me bear cause - well. Don’t poke the bear kinda thing” he said and I took a few steps forward, our toes almost touching and his eyes met mine again. I raise my hand, and gently poke the flower tattoo adorning his left arm with my forefinger and smile. “Gonna bite me?” I quip, lifting my hands and poking short pokes all over his chest and he laughs a bit. 

“Y’re cute” he said and I put a final poke on his nose, blush rising to my cheeks at the statement. “And very thirsty. Pour me a drink will you, bartender?” I turned around on the ball of my foot swiftly, walking with pep back into the kitchen and I look back at him, to find his eyes practically undressing me from where I’d left him moments ago. I grin, putting my hands on my hips “You staring at my ass isn’t making me any less thirsty over here, bartender!” I said and he blushes “sorry…sorry”

He comes out and places a hand at the small of my back leading me to the main part of the restaurant and towards the bar “you just - uh…you look really good. I’m sorry, I didn’t have time to get home, I wanted to but - shit just got outta control, Syd forgot about this huge cannoli order and we forgot to get the powdered sugar with the last resupply so I had to make powdered sugar - it was just-” I rub my hand up his arm gently, stopping him and grabbing his attention. 

“It’s fine Carmen. You look fine. I’ll admit, a little bit tired. But you worked all day, I’ve been there” I shrug and he nods a bit, “thanks” he said softly walking behind the bar. I get up on one of the bar stools, crossing my legs and resting my chin in my palm looking over the restaurant and tapping my nails on the table. “This place is super nice, Carm, you should be so proud of yourself. It feels fancy but inviting too.” I hum admiring the lights and artwork on the walls. 

“Why thank you, we all worked really hard. I’m surprised it came together every day, but super grateful.” He said, taking Patron off of the middle shelf and scooping ice into the mixer, counting to himself as he pours it. “Doesn’t show, you run a tight ship it sounds, Chef” I smiled. He snorts “how would you know? Or is it just the pans from earlier” he said and threw a few slices of jalapeño, lime, and mint in to the cup before closing it tightly and shaking. 

“Yes and no, Richie told me, said that you were a good boy today though, and your sister was the one causing trouble” blush creeps into his cheeks. “Ye’ and see what happens when I’m ‘good’ as you told me to do? Shit got fucked” he pours in some club soda and mixes it with a bar spoon before pouring us both a glass. “Mmmm. Was that because you weren’t barking orders, or because something happened out of your control, and you’re blaming yourself?” I asked honestly and he set my glass down in front of me, biting his lip for a moment. 

“Everything is out of my fucking control” he muttered and shook his head, as if it was a quiet, painful reminder to himself. “Most things, in most people’s lives, are out of our control” I gently rest my hand over his and he meets my eyes. “The only things you can control is if, and when you fall apart, and how well you glue yourself back together.” I said earnestly and he swallows thickly, nodding. 

“I like that..thank you” he said and I nod. “Don’t worry, I won’t charge you- this time. But d’ya think I can get a fancy umbrella or somethin’ for this drink?” I smiled and nudged it toward him, he chuckled, shaking his head “you are somethin’ else, Winnie” he crouches down behind the bar with a grunt. 

“Fuck. I’m 26 but my back feels 90” he said and I laughed a bit. “It’s all the cookin’! And being on your feet too damn much, My mom is a massage therapist, you should let me give you a massage sometime.” I said and he got back up, groaning dramatically which made me giggle. “For you, dear.” He drops a little pink umbrella into my cup. 

“Oh my goodness you poor thing. Come sit down” I pat the spot next to me and plucked my bag off the seat, hanging it off the back of my chair. He comes around the bar, plopping down in the chair next to me with a sigh of relief. “I will absolutely take you up on your massage offer sometime.” He said, rubbing over his face tiredly and running his hands through his muss of curls before taking a sip of his own drink. 

“Please do, I’ll pull out all the stops for ya’, but just so you know- a happy ending comes with a pretty cost” I said flirtatiously and nudged his leg with my boot playfully. He chuckled and looked over at me “yea? Thanks for the heads up I’ll be sure to budget accordingly for my trip to Winnie’s Massage Parlor” he teased and I laughed a bit. 

“Yess!! Please do! There’s also Winnie’s salon, Winnie's hospital, and Winnie’s library!! Come by for all your daily needs I’ma’ Jane of all trades” I shrug and take another sip of my drink. “Speaking of” I take his left arm, looking at the inner part near the crook, where 4 large scratches were, done so violently that the skin beneath was turning into a speckled bruise meaning by morning it would be a dark purple. 

“What happened?” I ask softly, my finger tip gently brushing over the untouched skin over the smeared, dried out blood below the wound. “Ahh-“ he shakes his head “it’s stupid. It’s not even bad don’t worry about it” he said and I looked at him, concerned. “Did- did Sug-“ he cuts me off quickly “Sugar, would never hurt me.” He said, his tone was deadly serious. 

I nodded quickly, swallowing hard. “Okay, Carm, I believe you” I said softly and squeezed his wrist gently. “Will you…let me take care of you- please?” I ask quietly, looking into his eyes, my gaze pleading for a yes. 

“So Winnie’s hospital is mobile?” He said with a small teasing smile. I roll my eyes playfully. “Yes, let’s go find the first aid kit, and honestly it’s pretty but like - empty in here and… I dunno” I bit my lip, hoping he got the hint and he nods “sure we - we can uh. Yeah. Let’s go sit in Sugars office. She has a couch” I nodded and hopped off the seat, gasping when the corner of it hooks onto the hem of my skirt as I get down and pulls it up, exposing my backside clad in a lacy red thong through the sheer bum part of my fleeced nylons. 

“Oh my god!” I blurt as I quickly pulled it back down, my cheeks on fire, and my heart pounding in embarrassment. I hear Carmen burst out in laughter behind me making my embarrassment grow and I turned around, crossing my arms over my chest, my eyebrows becoming furrowed. “Hey!” I snip “what’s so funny!! Why were you looking peeping tom!” I whine and he covers his mouth to stifle the laughter. 

“To make sure your munchkin self didn’t trip off of the stool in those clunky ass boots!! Being a gentleman really paid off for me there” he said and I went over slapping his arm gently with a smile growing on my face. “I guess it’s a good thing I wore panties or I would’ve mooned you” I grab my drink and turn around, a surprised chuckle coming from him. 

“Holy shit, you go commando?” He asks, holding the kitchen door open for me “sometimes, she needs to breathe!!” I said with a shrug and pushed my bag up on my shoulder as I followed him back to Sugars office. “But what if you get horny?” He asked and I laughed, nudging him with my elbow. “Dude!! Richie said you were not forward with girls, that’s pretty forward” I set my bag down on sugars desk and he plops down on the big comfy sofa pulling out a recliner on his side and he sighs, closing his eyes. 

“Gimme a sec’ this is the first time my feet are up since 1” he said and I sat down next to him, “you haven’t sat down since I left?!” I asked and he shook his head, opening his eyes and head falling to the side on the cushion to look at me. “Mm-mm” he hummed in response. “Where’s the first aid kit? I’ll find it” I said and he rubs his face, thinking. 

“Uhhh. Oh there’s one in here actually, go over to the other side of Sug’s desk, it should be tucked there next to the wall” he said and took a sip of his drink. I got up, going where he said and I leaned over, completely forgetting the rules of skirts by mistake. “You’re a fucking tease” he said lowly and my heart pounds, my stomach fluttering wildly, and my core beginning to twitch and throb in excitement. 

“What’s not nice about helping a new friend clean up their boo-boo’s?” I asked innocently, a small smile on my lips as I turned and sat down on the couch on the cushion next to him. He smirks “you…are gonna make me crazy” he said softly and closed his eyes, resting his head on the back of the sofa. I opened the kit, taking out hand sanitizer, saline wipes, gauze, and triple antibiotic. 

“Wait-“ he said his eyes flickering open “you- you met Richie?” He asks as if I hadn’t been mentioning him since I walked in the door, my eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “It’s like- the first thing I said when I got here.” I said and he sighs softly. “I’m…sorry.” He finally said, like he was contemplating whether to say more. “That’s ok, you had a hard day” I took his arm gently, laying it across my lap. “What did he say? How bad did he embarrass me?” He questions and I giggle a bit, sanitizing my hands before opening a saline wipe. 

“Not at all! He said you’re shy with girls, that he’s surprised you asked me out cause he thinks I’m pretty, and apparently, doesn’t think you are very funny- but I on the other hand, seemed to make him laugh a lot so- got you beat” I teased with a smile as I ever gently wipe over the wounds. 

He snorts “well, you are pretty, he’s an asshole but right.” He said and I looked up at him “not many people make me laugh anymore, you seem to, though.” I said honestly, and he tugs his lip between his teeth to catch a grin from taking over his features. “Yea?” He asks quietly with a blush going across the bridge of his nose and cheeks. “Mmhmm” I hum in reply, putting the ointment on and carefully rubbing it in. 

It was quiet for a moment before he says “I’m sorry.” Causing me to look up at him, but his gaze was stuck on the ceiling. “This wasn’t - I wanted to do something nice for you and… I’m sorry.” I stop working on his arm “sorry for what, Carm? This is so nice. The drink is really good, thank you for making it, I’m glad to be here.” I said honestly and placed my hand on top his. 

His icy blue eyes meet mine, looking over my face slowly and locking on my lips. His eyes flick back to mine when he responds “you just look so pretty, like you should be on a real date. Not here fuckin-“ he sighs, looking down at his arm then back at me. “Dealing with my stupid mistake.” I shook my head and wrapped up his arm with a bandage to keep it clean and dry while he slept and it could scab over. 

“This is a real date. You own a restaurant. Carmen. Look at me.” I order and he looks into my eyes. “You, just you, asking me to come see you, to be together, to get to know each other? You are enough. This is a date. An awesome date. I’m having fun, are you having fun?” I asked and he smiled a bit. 

“No, but….” He trails off, looking at his lap and I felt my heart physically ache, my face drooping “peace” he finally said “I feel…at peace, with you around. I noticed it when we were outside earlier, I came out for a smoke cause I was about to absolutely loose it on Syd, and I don’t- I- I can’t do that to her. So I went out and I totally forgot my light and then..you were there and I forgot about everything.” He said. 

Goosebumps arise on my skin at the admission, the warmth in my chest returning at full force. “And - I thought about you…all day- all-all day. Not like- god I sound like a creep” he takes his arm, rubbing his face in embarrassment. “I thought about you too.” I reply softly. “I thought about you…a lot. Actually.” I bit my lip and his eyes met mine, searching for truth and it was all he found in my locked gaze. 

“Not like- I just couldn’t understand how I felt. But the more I think… I do this thing.” He rubs his chin as he thinks. “Learned it in therapy, they said when you can’t figure out how a person or a situation made you feel, you can like think of people and situations that you do know how you feel about, and keep comparing them until you find a match. S-so when I thought of you.” He swallows thickly and I sit up, completely entrenched in listening to him. 

“I found that things that gave me the same feelings w-were like…my one day off a week that I don’t have to be here. I think of…the fucking morning I went to Central Park and watched the sunrise and it was so..so quiet. I think- I think” he presses his lips together. “O-of-of Mikey. Of my brother. He’s dead. But. H-he. He protected me a lot, growin’ up. Helped me out. A lot. I felt like when Mikey was around, it was alright. And that’s how I felt earlier. I’m sorry-“ he shakes his head, putting the recliner down and finishing off his drink. 

“Why?” I ask and squeeze his hand “that’s…so, so sweet. You make me feel at peace too, unless you’re angry- but I was worried for you and what happened. I’m so happy I make you feel like that, Carmen. Thank you for sharing, may I hug you?” I ask gently and he looks at me a bit surprised. “Y-yea ‘fcourse c’mere” he opened his arms and I wrapped him in a warm embrace. “The way you make me laugh makes me feel the way my brother did when he made me laugh, we were twins. He died.” I said just above a whisper. 

He rests his cheek on the top of my head, rubbing soothing circles in my back as I did for him earlier. “I’m so sorry, what was his name?” He asked, equally as quiet. “Chris, Christopher” I felt my lip quiver, that never dulling ache in my chest throbbing at the memory of him. 

“Oh, wow” he whispered “Winnie and Christopher” I felt him smiling on my hair “your parents knew what they were doin’ with names, that’s adorable.” He said and I smiled a bit. “Thank you, can you guess what our nursery was?” I look up at him and he raises his eyebrows. 

“Hmm.. let me think. Oh! I know, Dumbo?” He says sarcastically and I laugh, closing my eyes and nuzzling my face in his neck “Silly. Winnie the Pooh, I always said it was my room, because they had a big wall sticker of Winnie and all his animal friends, but not one of Christopher since they couldn’t find one. He hated that” I said and his fingers gently rubbed over the spot of bare skin between my skirt and my top. I feel him chuckle a bit “that’s cute” he said. 

“How did Mikey…” I trail off, his fingers stilling. “Shot ‘emself” he said plainly and my hug around his torso tightens “I’m so sorry” I whisper in to his skin. “What about Chris?” He asked and I swallowed thickly. “We got in a motorcycle accident. I still can’t talk about it.” I said as evenly and emotionlessly as I could, if I opened that flood gate there was no shutting it. 

“Oh- my god. Wow. I’m so sorry, I’m so glad you’re….” He trails off, realizing the other victim was very much not ok in any sense of the word. I sit up, taking my half full drink off the table and drinking it down in 3 big gulps. “Want another?” He asks and I shake my head, “work tomorrow” I said and he nods, “yeah me too” he muttered rubbing over his face. 

“Can I…get your number?” I asked and he nodded sitting up “course you can” he said and took his phone out of his pocket, logged in and opened up a new contact screen, offering it to me. “Only if I can have yours” he said with a small smile. “Of course!!” I took it from him. 

Winnie 🍯  

I put as the contact name, and type in my number, hitting save before handing it back. I do the same for him on my phone and hand it to him, when it’s returned, I see 

Carm🐻 

I smile, deleting the emoji and switching it for a 🧸 instead. I show him with a tilt of my wrist “cause your awesome hugs.” I said and smiled, saving it again. He blushes, smiling and shaking his head “I think you’re the one who gives good hugs, you smell like honey and you’re all soft.” He said and I giggle. “I’m glad you like my perfume” I said and pushed my hair behind my shoulders. 

“I do, it’s very nice. You live around here?” He asks and I nod “2 blocks that-a-way” I point behind us and he raises his eyebrows. “Really, what street?” He asked “Kensington Ave. The brownstones” I said and he chuckled “No shit. I live in the high rise across the way” he said and my mouth drops. “Wow. Work neighbors, and building neighbors, we’ve never met?” I giggle “you've been avoiding me?” I ask and he chuckles “never, uhh. I’m like never home. I go there to sleep for a few hours, and my days off I…sleep…the whole day usually, I usually get home around 1am and leave at like 4ish, sometimes 5 if I sleep in” I raise my eyebrows in disbelief. 

“3 hours of sleep and you wonder why you feel 90? You need to sleep Carmen. You’re gonna have a heart attack.” I said and he chuckled. “If I would only be that lucky'' he joked, taking our empty glasses to the kitchen and I followed him “no- i'm serious, like you’re gonna drive yourself nuts.” I said, leaning on the counter watching him wash the glasses. 

“I am already there sweetheart don’t worry, been there- ahh let’s see, 20? Maybe 19. So 7 years of insanity give or take.” He said and I giggled, shaking my head. “You are not nuts. A crazy person couldn’t run a restaurant.” I said and he snorted “that speaking is the mind of someone who doesn’t work in a restaurant. No, you have to be a psycho to do this shit. Especially at the level I do it.” He shuts off the sink, putting the cups on the drying rack and leaning on his elbows on the table mirroring me from across. 

“I think you’re very, very passionate.” I brush his curls from his eyes “and that you sometimes get in your own way by not allowing people to help you.. which can make things harder” I said and he smiled, amusedly. “How do you already know so much about me, have you been stalking and avoiding me so I don’t find out?” He teases and I laugh. “Shut up, no. I have not. I dunno… like our souls know each other. That’s how I feel.” I shrug, crossing my hands under my chin and looking at him. 

“Hmm” he says. “Do you believe in past lives?” He asks and I nod “for sure. And future ones. I don’t think we can learn everything in one go that our souls need” I shrug and he nods a bit. “We need to talk more about this when I don’t have a pounding headache from being so overtired” he said softly and I pout, “c'mon let’s walk home.” I said and headed back to the office to grab my things. 

“I just have to go to the back and get my stuff gimme a few” he said from the kitchen. I waited by the island, shawl back on and bag on my shoulder. When he comes back out, my breath gets caught in my throat. Hes wearing delicious light grey sweatpants, blue Nike sneakers, and a plain white champion hoodie. As he lifted his arms to put his backpack on, the hoodie rode up, revealing his tight, toned stomach, and deep, deep V line. I lick my lips, imagining myself on my knees worshiping his god-like figure and he clears his throat. 

I looked up again, realizing he completely caught me red handed checking him out like the hottest new library book and I felt my cheeks heat, giving a shy smile. “Ready?” He asked and I nod “ready” I said meekly, mentally face palming for my lack of discretion. “Y’know it’s not a bad thing to check me out, right? I guess for earlier you can call us even” He asked as we walked down the hallway and I nearly tripped over my own feet at the boldness. “Fuck you” I roll my eyes playfully and he opens the door for me. 

“I’m a little tired right now, but for you? Anything. Your place or mine?” He asked and I laughed, slapping his chest playfully “you are a naughty, naughty little boy” I teased, wrapping my arms around his bicep as we walked. “Just letting you know allll the ways this glorious date could end” he said, a smug smirk on his face and I shook my head, looking at the sidewalk. 

This was so nice. I usually am needing to check behind me every couple steps, am tensing at every noise or stranger I pass, but with Carmen I feel protected. Secure. 

“I’ve never actually been able to enjoy this at night, I’m always looking over my shoulder wondering if I need to get my switchblade out” I chuckle shaking my head. “Switchblade? Damn. Can I see it?” He asks and I nod, digging in my purse and pulling out the pink knife attached with a MyMelody keychain to a can of mace. 

I pulled away from him, hopping a few steps ahead.  “Everybody watch out! I’m a woman that’s armed and dangerous!!” I giggle, clicking the little button and the hello kitty blade swings out with a click. He laughs, and I faced him, waving it around the air in front of me lightly “what’s so funny huh? I’m menacing Carmen, imagine I mugged you right now with a hello kitty knife” I said, causing him to laugh harder, clutching his stomach. 

“Oh my god - please” he snorts in laughter causing me to laugh. “Awww little piggy!!” I teased and he gasps pretending to be offended. “okay! Rude! You better not snort ever or you’ll be the piggy miss” he said making me start laughing again “you are at my mercy right now, sir, have you so easily forgotten?” I gently wave the pewny knife in front of his face. 

“Oh you sweet thing. I know you wouldn’t hurt a fly.” He plucks it from my fingers easily, closing it. “Only because I have the strongest little chef in all of Chicago to protect me. My knight in sexy gray sweatpants and a white sweatshirt” I mused, a playful smile dancing on my lips. “Mmm ok we’re getting there. I don’t like the little part, but- we’ll get there” he joked, dropping the knife back in my purse. 

“Oh, yeah?” I said, grabbing his arm again as we continued, our buildings come in to view. One of my hands trains down his arm, slinking my fingers to wrap between his. “Mmhmm” he hummed. 

I stopped again, standing in front of him and wrapping my arms around his neck loosely, standing on my tip-toes even in my heels to reach his ear. “I think that you know, that I know, you’re the sexiest, most hard working, passionate, gentleman - that I’ve ever had the pleasure of having a chance with. And I also think that you know, I have bratty tendencies, and love pulling your chain because I know it gets you going. You wanna know what I’m 100% sure of, though?” My sultry hot breath caused goosebumps to come up on his neck, his hands wrapping around my waist and squeezing gently. “Was’ that baby” he said softly, his voice laced with desire. I lace my fingers in his hair, gently tugging at his frizzy curls from the day. 

“I’m sure that you need a brat. Because what you need, Carmy.” I nibbled at his ear gently. His breath hitches in his throat, biting his lip to silence a soft moan. I wasn’t quite sure where all of this raw confidence and honesty was coming from, likely from the strong drink Carmy had made and my being a lightweight.

 “Is to be able to force someone in their place, and have full unrelinquished control over the entire situation. For someone to give themselves to you, be fully yours. To use. To love. To worship. Whatever you desire. Cause you’re a control freak. But that’s sexy, that’s soo sexy. I love a man who knows what he needs” I place a soft, lingering kiss on his racing pulse point. 

His hands trail down, cupping my ass before squeezing roughly and I moan softly at the contact. His hands were so strong, so large, but somehow the touch was still lacking confidence. “C-can I” he says softly, “can I kiss you, please?” He whispers. I lift my face to meet his, our noses brushing as I rest my forehead on his, looking into his eyes. His pupils were blown wide from both the dark and lust, the only peak of blue being a tiny sliver. 

“That depends,” I said with a smirk adorning my lips, I nuzzle my nose against his gently. “Will you kiss me how you want, Carm? Or how you think I want?” I ask and he licks his lips. “I want to make you happy” he whispers, I twirl a curl at the base of his neck around my finger. “It will make me happy, if you take what you want from me” I whispered. 

Before I could blink, his lips were on mine, kissing me hungrily- a war of tongue and lips, my fingers tightening around his hair and tugging smiling proudly when he moaned into my mouth. His hands trail my skirt, lifting it slightly to massage my backside in his hands wantingly. I let him take me, dominate me, own me in that moment, matching his hot feverish kisses as well as the sweet, gentle ones. We only broke apart to breathe, our chests rising and falling at an equal rapid pace. His lips were slick from our kiss, swollen from the rough encounter. He was beautiful. 

The only sound was the infrequent car passing, or the sound of the crickets that had made their homes in the small patches of grass on the side of the sidewalk that housed the trees. 

“I want you to come to family”

Read Chapter 5 Here!

 

[lycheedr3ams]

little blog announcement

TLDR: my könig fanfics from here on out will be focused on discovering his character rather than porn

rant below the cut

before you read this, just look into his eyes for a moment. are you seeing what i'm seeing? the pain and hardships he went through? the years of training and going to bed with broken bones and bruises and a bloody nose? the tears he cried alone because he had no one? can you see how many times he had to pick himself up because he was the only one he had? can you see the man who didn't get to live his dream, who couldn't be the one thing he wanted to be?

i have been thinking a lot about könig's character, story, personality, etc., and i've decided that i want to dedicate my fanfictions moving forward (for the most part) to things that only really make sense for his character. so, this means no porn without plot from me anymore.

there is so much porn without plot out there for könig, and i'm far from the best smut writer. there is an abundance of porn for könig, but far, far less fanfictions (even fewer halfway good ones) that actually have to do with his character. i don't mean disrespect to any fanfic writer, but i'm just very tired of the mischaracterization of könig. the same thing happens to ghost's character too, and several blogs have also posted about these mischaracterization issues.

yeah, some people might say this take is "too deep" or "it's not that serious", but i feel very connected to könig since i am similar to him in a lot of ways (obviously not in terms of being a killer lol). i have spent a lot of time lately just thinking about his character, and the more i think about him, the more i realize that there is so fucking much that most fanfic writers are missing about könig.

yes, we all love könig's accent, height, cock, and everything else that makes him sexually attractive. but what about the little boy who was bullied his whole life, who never had any friends, the one who dropped out of high school to join the army? the one who worked his way up from nothing to become a fierce and respected soldier? after all the porn without plot is said and done, what thoughts go through könig's mind at the end of the day? how does he interact with others? my point being, i want to dedicate my blog more to understanding his character. if you want könig porn without plot, there are many other blogs to find that from. I AM NOT SAYING PORN WITHOUT PLOT IS INHERENTLY BAD! Just that I don’t want to contribute to it.

I will still have porn without plot on my blog, but i will not be writing it myself.

this doesn't mean that i won't post könig porn. oh fuck no, i will have könig porn, but it will be in the context of a story and his character overall than just porn without plot. now, i might break this rule here and there if i have a really good idea, but i'd like to stick as close to my new personal rule as possible. i'm still going to finish the death's angel AU, and i will still be taking requests for butcher!könig cuz that AU is just so good.

but other than that, i seriously want to dedicate this blog to truly understanding könig: to getting under his skin and picking his brain and figuring out who he is behind the hood, who he is other than an austrian military sex symbol many of us - myself included - have made him out to be

if you disagree or don't like this, just don't interact. no need to be hateful. you'll get blocked if you're rude :)

[aelinschild]

Season Of Forgiveness

Main Masterlist

Happy Holidays everyone!! I'm a little (Very, sorry!!) late with this post, but this is my gift for the 2023 Rowaelin Secret Santa! Big thank you to @rowaelinscourt for organizing it!! This is dedicated to the lovely @shyvioletcat , I wish you a very merry holiday season, and hopefully you enjoy this absolute monstrosity. I actually do not know what took over me during writing this, but I'm just happy its done.

SYNOPSIS: Holidays are known to be the season of joy, but when that joy is no longer Aelin's, she is forced to find peace in the unknown. WORDCOUNT: 9k GENERAL WARNINGS: Very light one bed trope, mentions of sex, angsty for no reason, swearing, alcohol, arguments, choking and CPR, happy ending dont worry

(A/N: After writing this, I realize it has the same vibe of calling Die Hard a Christmas movie. Granted, I actually didn't finish the movie, but from what I watched, how the fuck is it a Christmas movie?? This is me telling you that this fic is probably like that lol)

Hour One

Fuck.

There was really no other way to put it. Fuck is such a versatile word, situationally. Aelin can recount the times she's moaned out breathy fucks, and the times she's roared them during moronic altercations. 

This type of fuck? Certainly not the cathartic type. 

This fuck is the sum of all past mistakes in her life, multiplied by her best friend's scheming mind, and then raised to the power of the irrational choice to return to her old university town. 

On the queen-sized bed were two plush towels. A robe. Face cloths and minimal toiletries. 

Oh, and a fucking red rose. 

In Lysandra’s plush apartment – a classic Victorian style, with ivy creeping up the brick fireplace, and stained glass windows at odd intervals – she was the owner of three bedrooms. 

And to Aelin's luck, there happened to be two couples staying here this evening. Which meant two of the three bedrooms were now occupied. Mathematically speaking, the two other individuals would each need their own room. 

It seems that math slipped Lysandra's mind when she organized her little yearly anniversary Yulemas Eve dinner. How…pleasant.

Chest rising and falling with barely contained frustration, Aelin didn't know whether to yell or cry. Her hand held her overnight bag so tight her knuckles were pressing at the whites. Nails digging into supple skin. 

It didn't take a genius to figure out what Lysandra had done. But it took a lot of willpower for Aelin to not storm out of the room and choke her friend for the transgression. And just past the blood rushing in her ears, she could hear the friendly greetings of her other friends as they crossed the threshold of Lys’ little home. Welcomed into the warmth of tradition. 

Oh, I'm going to kill you, Lysandra. 

Aedion and Lys would – obviously – take their master bedroom. Located around a corner and at the end of that hall. Far from where Aelin was. A feature she was grateful for, given Aedion and Lysandra's… healthy love life. And Lorcan and Elide would slip into the downstairs spare room. The one the couple had claimed during the first year of this tradition. 

Leaving Aelin, in this spare room with a queen-sized bed and the bloody rose, to bed with Rowan. 

Oh, how she loathed her life at this moment. What foul god had she angered to be punished this way. Maybe that same god would derail Rowan’s cab en route. Shucking it into a frozen lake, or something of the like. 

Gently brushing over the towels, Aelin traced the other memories this room held. 

The queen-sized bed hardly fit her and Rowan, that she knew from experience. His height alone ruined the tucked edges of their duvet, which always ended up on his side of the bed by morning. The pillows would have to be mushed together in the middle so that they would not fall off. And Rowan, he at night would roll around. Restless, even in the deepest hours. He would usually end up on top of Aelin, face along her breasts and hair tickling her chin. 

Her fingers moved from the towel to the rose. Plucking it up, she held it at eye level. Studying the contours of the flower, it was beautiful. But Aelin couldn't get past the fact that Lysandra had set this up. And put a godsdamned rose on the towels. 

Aelin might just take the couch. 

The front door opened and closed again, voices rose up from the entry through the open bedroom door. Aelin began unpacking mechanically. The drawers where she set her clothes were the same as she had for the last decade. The dent on the wall by the left corner was also the same. Seems like Aedion never got around to patching it. Aelin chuckles under her breath, the talking-to she and Rowan had received after denting the wall from a vigorous…activity, would never fail to not make her laugh. 

Once the unpacking was complete, only taking a few moments as Aelin wouldn't be staying longer than the night, she took a moment to sit on her side of the bed and breathe. 

This would be disastrous. And she had no way of getting out. Unless she jumped from the window to her left. 

A decade ago, Aelin and Rowan had met through their friends. Their family. Aedion had bridged the gap by dating her best friend, Lysandra. Their quickly evolving and fiery romance meant that there would no longer be Aelin-Elide-Lys days. Now, they included the Ashryver cousin. Lorcan and Rowan had been over Aedion’s lovesick puppy act and had forcibly inserted themselves into the group. As her cousin rarely left Lysandra's side anymore. 

This meant that Aelin and Elide were left to deal with two grumpy college guys. It was like babysitting rocks, who could probably show more emotion than the lot of them. But somehow, somewhere along the line, Elide fell for Lorcan. And when Aelin was forced to watch another friend fall in love, she turned to the only bastard left. 

But Aelin and Rowan had always been…different. Difficult entirely. It started as sex. Each of them too busy with their respective degrees to foster any more of a connection. 

It worked, and it worked well. 

For two years, Aelin was exclusive with Rowan Whitethorn without anyone knowing the depth of their friendship. To her girlfriends, he was the hot guy whom Aelin should really give a chance. To his boys, she was the girl who could obviously help blow off a little steam. 

Time stretched out, and steadiness had replaced the need for romantic connection. Post graduation, Rowan and her barely crossed paths anymore, unless the entire group got together. But there still existed an attachment built during years of intimacy – which Aelin never voiced, not wanting to ruin the entire affair by breaking the principle rule of their arrangement. And due to that principle, Rowan had also never expressed any interest above surface-level desire. 

She had been left in the dark of his feelings for her, just as she had left him in the dark of hers. They were two polar magnets, separated only by the fear of shattering the fragile closeness built from tentative familiarity. Neither were any good at subtly hinting at something. 

When the parallel lines of their lives crossed, ever-diligent Rowan proposed something rather different. Unpredictable.

He offered a relationship. 

Looking back, it was hilariously clinical. It wouldn't surprise her if he had stored papers in her bag with a list of what their relationship could entail. Numbered – or alphabetically ordered. Probably about who did what and when hand-holding was allowed. Such a stickler for the rules.

But Rowan had shocked Aelin that night. When she had said yes, fuck it let's give it a chance, and they had gone back to his apartment, there was a bouquet of fragrant red roses placed on the counter. A box of her favourite chocolates beside it. Things she had mentioned in passing, probably after a hook-up. Maybe during a romantic comedy that they would often watch together. Where she’d point out the little things men can do that show a deeper appreciation. 

They had cracked open a bottle of wine, and talked for hours under the stars and above the rushing traffic. And it was like peeling back a layer, revealing this steadfast and romantic man. The one who had refiled her glass more than once. Used his hand to cover sharp edges when she leaned around after a few too many drinks. Who had carried her to bed, gently unclasping her stiletto heels and massaging the tired soles of her feet. Who had carefully removed the maxi dress she wore, hanging it up to prevent creases. Then, with permission, undressed her further. 

That night hadn't been like before. Aelin wasn't sure she had ever felt that way. Not a blinding, stretching heat or an all-consuming pressure. No, rather a connection. When Rowan had caressed her like a piece of art, she felt revered. Holy. Her skin had tingled with the unfamiliar feeling of adoration. 

Breathless whispers and tight holds had conveyed words that were far too new to speak aloud. 

That night had been the beginning of a long-standing understanding. The two of them weren't open about their connection. Rather, it was a pleasant slice of life, cut out to fit the shape of two lovers who aimed to navigate the crossroads of their future. And for years they existed peacefully in the space they had made for each other. 

Until they couldn't anymore. 

The door creaked open, its hinges never oiled. Lysandra was allergic to a chemical in WD-40. 

A whoosh of breath came from the entrance, and Aelin’s spine felt the all too familiar tingle of the presence of the man she had loved. 

“Aelin,” came the voice, like gravel smoothed by arctic winds. There always existed some sort of unrest under Rowan’s skin. It could be heard in his voice, worn from use. Had she still been his, she would have made him a cup of tea. Extra honey. As he liked. 

Humming out a noise of acknowledgement, Aelin turned slightly. Cheeks starting to heat. “Hello, Rowan.” She said, breathlessly. 

She watched his throat work. He had gotten leaner since she last saw him. His eyes less bright. Cheeks sunken. His unachievable tan had faded. 

He was still the beautiful boy–man, she had always known. Pleasure and pain united, each moment in his presence stole some of her oxygen. She loved him. Loved. 

A shrill squeak this time, and a crafty brunette head popped into the doorway. “Ah! Okay! Guess, how many candies are in this jar!” Lysandra asked the both of them. Their moment shattering and instead opening up to accept another's presence. Lysandra was holding a large mason jar filled with red and white peppermint swirl candies. 

“Uh,” Rowan scratched the back of his neck. “Two hundred?” Lysandra just snorted and then turned to Aelin. 

Aelin studied the jar, fighting to not break out into goosebumps with the feeling of Rowan’s eyes on her. “One hundred…and… forty-three–no! Twenty!”

“Final answer?” Lysandra taunted. 

“Yes.”

“Wrong.” She cackled. Turning away and hightailing it down the hall, laughing like she was possessed. “Come downstairs, you losers!”

Hour Two

Aelin had left with no word to Rowan. She couldn't bear it. The wound still so fresh. Instead, she had sauntered by and shut the door gently on her way out. Missing the pleading look in his eyes as she walked away. 

“Ae!” Elide shouted at her approach. Aelin couldn't help but smile. As awful as the next eleven hours may be, Aelin was grateful she had her best friends by her side. Lysandra's still on thin ice. 

“El! Look at you!” Aelin grabbed a hold of her friend's hand, letting her do a little twirl. The sequined skirt she had on fanned out around her. Reflecting the lights in the room across the walls. “You like our own little mirrorball.”

Elide just let out a soft laugh. Grinning. “Gotta get the party started somehow.” She said. Stepping back she put her arms on Aelin's elbow, holding tight. She made a show of looking around the room, and upon it being clear, Elide looked her right in the eyes. “I'm sorry.” 

“For what,” Aelin asked, perplexed. 

She gave her a pointed look. “I tried to explain to Lys that she wasn't being fair. It's not fair. I offered to get a hotel room for me and Lorcan, but you know how Aedion is about traditions.” She rolled her eyes. “I realize that this isn't… you know. This was not on the healing plan–”

“Maybe, El, just being with my best friends could be healing. Maybe we switch the healing plan around for a little.” She said softly, speaking from a place of honesty. 

Elide’s eyes were misty, and Aelin had to look away. This was a hurt that was deeper than her. 

She took a breath, “Okay. But–no I'm serious. Don't look away. If you need anything, anything at all, I'm here. And we can have a little girl meeting with Lys after we put the boys to bed.” She gave a choked laugh. 

Aelin nodded. An understanding passing through them both. Everyone knew that tension would be high this evening. Aelin herself knew it would be brutal. Facing her ex at Lys’ annual Yulemas Eve Dinner, a tradition shrouded in love and comfort. But she was eternally grateful for Elide – and Lysandra, but maybe not currently. How she found such caring women would never fail to surprise her. 

Elide nodded back, smile and eyes watery. They both let out laughs. This solidarity was something Aelin needed more than she knew. 

“Okay, no more tears.” Aelin sniffed, disconnecting their hand-elbow position to wipe at her waterline. Elide laughed and did the same; laughing at the growing pains. Embracing and squeezing love into each other. 

Hour Three

They had all moved to the living room. It was three o'clock, and the festivities would run until midnight. 

This tradition of theirs started years ago, when Lysandra had been given this apartment by her uncle, conveniently on Yulemas Eve. As a group of broke college students, they had gotten together at noon at Lys’ new abode, flocking towards the offer of free food and drinks. But, they had spent the next twelve hours renovating, each of them finding different tasks every hour to keep the boredom away. At midnight, the promised food had been delivered and all of them had pigged out and slept on the worn carpet of the living room, full of holiday spirit. 

That tradition continued on, and it proved to be extremely helpful in the days when family ties were harder to save than simply forget. When the lonesomeness of the holidays overtook the youths, twelve hours at Lysandra and Aedion's home would never fail to rekindle that merriment. 

And so, for the past decade, everyone would arrive at noon, and each hour would be filled with something new; usually holiday-themed, but it was truly left to Aelin’s best friend’s imagination. 

So at hour three, the group found themselves in the living room, sipping on sparkling wine and snacking on appetizers. This would – apparently – be the hour of catching up. 

“... And so I told him, if he wanted a maid he could hire one. I mean, the man is rolling in money. What fucking scumbag hires someone, and then lets them play servant for the rest of the office, and then drops all his work on them? I mean, truly.” Elide was saying. Aelin was nodding along, enjoying the fresh gossip about her best friend's workplace. “But then he got all on his high horse, all you can't talk to me like that and I'm your superior, you know. Stupid bullshit.”

“So what did you do?” Lysandra asked, thoroughly enthralled by the story. Lorcan let out a hearty chuckle, his arm slung across Elide lovingly. 

“I fucking stole the glass plate from his microwave. Then took all the ink cartridges from his pens. And all the extra toilet paper in his washroom? Not there anymore!” Aelin snorted out her bubbly wine. Lysandra was racked with giggles, and Lorcan was trying not to laugh out loud. Aedion’s cackle joined the fray. And like she always would, Aelin picked up on Rowan's breathy laugh, it ignited flames through her veins. 

“Oh my gods, El. You absolute heathen,” Aedion got out through fits of laughter. Lysandra attempted deep breaths while wiping stray tears from the corners of her eyes. Aelin stared into her drink, suppressing giggles. 

“Well, it's not like he didn't deserve it,” Elide added, smiling smugly. Lorcan just kissed her temple. 

“Certainly not. Where’d you get those ideas though?” Leaning for a piece of cheese, Aelin asked. Grabbing a few pieces and rolling them around in her palm. Lysandra’s giggles were waving in and out, each time Aedion whispered something in her ear, they’d begin again. 

“My gigantic brain.” Elide snorted, pleased at her joke. 

“Nice, El.” Came from Rowan. 

“See, I thought you'd crucify me for that. Mister straight and narrow.” Oh.

Rowan didn't falter, “No, actually, if anything that gives me ideas.” He said. “Sometimes the corporate world can be a little too uptight.” He glanced at Aelin. 

Aedion laughed again. “Rich! That’s rich coming from you.” He taunted.

Rowan leaned into the jest. “Maybe I want to break free.”

“Uptight life not suiting you anymore, Boyo?” Came from Lorcan. 

“Maybe.” Rowan shrugged. “Maybe life is worth a little more than corporate deviances.” He pulled at the seams of his shirt. Fingers twirling the stem of his sparkling wine. 

Aelin didn't think anyone else had noticed the stall in the conversation. The way the bright energy slowed and sputtered. Pausing momentarily and applying enough pressure to Aelin’s soul that she felt winded. But everyone moved on, Rowan included. Laughing and sharing stories as they might. 

The conversation didn't end, and Aelin’s buried sorrow didn't dissipate. But she would keep breathing. Keep moving forward, exchanging banter all in the hopes of drawing out the sound of her heart breaking slowly. 

“By the way, Lys, how many candies were in the jar?”

“None. It was the paper decoration that it came with from the store.”

Hour Four

It was cocktail hour. 

This was Aelin’s favourite tradition. One she actually prepared for. And it consisted of each of them having to make a holiday-themed cocktail, completely customized. There could be no research during the competition – before was a grey area Aelin loved to exploit – and they each had ten minutes. 

The order would follow; Lorcan, Lysandra, Elide, Aedion, Rowan, Aelin. And so, a silver tray had been placed in the middle of the table, and six yellowy drinks in champagne flutes sat. The colour was truly horrifying. 

“So, explain.” Lysadra motioned to start. 

“Right,” Lorcan grabbed a flute, examining it carefully. Like he didn't even know what was in it himself. “So, this…drink–”

“Sound a little more enthusiastic babe, or I'll be really worried about what you made.” Elide interrupted. 

“I'm already worried,” Rowan whispered to Aedion, face set in a perplexed grimace. 

“Hush, you goons.” He waved at the other guys. They broke apart laughing. “In here there is…Gin, uh, some Limoncello and creme de Banane. And I call it the…uh, I don't know. Yellow shot?”

“...of death,” Aelin whispered to Lysandra. Who nodded solemnly. Elide looked disgusted at her fiance’s creation, but schooled it into a look of pride when he turned to her. The moment he looked away, she made a fake gagging motion to Aelin and Lysandra. 

“Sounds wonderful, my dear Lorcan. Now, my great sir, would you please bring me my beverage.” Aedion declared, hands aiming to move in a dignified manner. He looked like he was trying to swat away flies. 

“No.”

“It was worth a shot,” He sighed, reaching for a drink. 

Aelin grabbed a flute, “Limoncello and Gin, what the hell were you aiming for here Lorcan?” She delicately sniffed at the drink. Oh god.

Plopping himself nearly onto Elide, who let out a squeak, he just shrugged. Grabbing his flute, he threw it back in one fluid motion. Everyone paused, waiting for the reaction. He swallowed, looked around, and then quickly turned away to gag and cough. 

Laughter erupted. 

Once everyone had a glass, clinking them together in cheers, and shot it down like Lorcan. He watched from on the couch, eyes a little watery. There was a pause as everyone swished the drink around in their mouth, tasting the flavour. 

It was fucking godsawful. Aelin had never tasted anything so evil. The hint of banana flavour nearly had her spitting the drink back into the glass, and the way the Gin nearly curdled it was almost worse. Taking a deep breath through her nose, she tried to swallow. Forcing the atrocity that was Lorcan’s drink down. Catching Elide’s eye, as the woman got up and ran for the washroom. Lysandra was the only one who seemed unbothered. 

“Fuck!” Aedion shouted when he could speak again. “Holy gods man, I have never put anything worse into my mouth. Ever.” 

“And that's saying somethin',” Rowan choked out. Also beyond bothered by Lorcan’s monstrosity. 

“You evil, evil man,” Aelin added. A shudder racking her body.

-

The cocktail hour carried on. Lysandra had made a mojito with cinnamon rather than mint, and it was not nearly as bad as Lorcan’s. Elide had done a ‘Sunrise Suprise’, which was simply tequila and orange juice. The ability to make a good cocktail skipped both Elide and Lorcan. Aedion had wanted to send everyone to their death, combining four different whiskeys and a melted spoonful of ice cream. It hadn't been as bad as expected, but there were much better choices out there. Rowan had mixed pickle juice and vodka, to create a dill martini. Interestingly enough, that had been the most palatable drink of the night. 

When Aelin’s turn came around, she began to pull out the individual ingredients. Lining them up in the order in which she would mix. Her focus on the drinks made her unaware that another body was present in the kitchen. Until they spoke up. 

“You look well,” Rowan said from the opposite end of the room, his body leaning up against the cabinets. Jumping at the sudden sound of his voice, her head snapped up. There he was, cataloguing her every move, a familiar feeling; his eyes on her. 

Startled, she stared at him. And kept staring at him, not realizing she had been ogling him for a few moments. She took in the lines of his body, the way his dress pants hugged his legs. The black leather belt, cinching in his waist. The sweater – cashmere, most likely – was elegantly draped over his upper body. The hard planes of his stomach were slightly in sight as the soft material moulded to his form. Everything about Rowan meant something. And looking at him only brought back bitter-sweet memories. Her gaze snapped away when he gave a light noise of acknowledgement. 

Blushing and caught, Aelin turned back to the drinks, cracking open the bottle of vodka she had slipped mint candies in a few weeks ago. She planned to let the flavours permeate the liquor and add a nice flair to her drinks. She felt Rowan’s inquisitive eyes on her every move. 

“Thank you, Rowan.” Acknowledging him, she hoped he would just walk away. She wasn't strong enough to just stand here and allow him to be there. To feel the gaping divide between their beings. 

Silence. 

“I– Look, I need to talk to you Aelin,” He approached from the other side of the room, slipping around the counter where she was. “I know it’s not the best–”

“Rowan.” A firm command, all blushed drained. She could be strong. She could. She was back to looking at him again. Green eyes, full lips, strong jaw. The silver strands that ghosted his brow. Gods she hated how looking at him hurt her so deeply. His smile, and laughter, earlier had been the knife to the gut. His presence here now? A twisting. 

“No, Aelin. I'm serious.”

“I am too.” 

“Wait.” He breathed. Gentler this time. His hand stretched out, muscle memory. She knew it would land at the curve of her waist, how the weight of it would ground her. The warmth would slip under the fabric of her dress, warming her bones. 

He retracted it before it got close enough, burning the neuron pathway that made the movement instinctual. 

She steadied herself, leaning towards him slightly, but not enough to communicate any more interest in where this was going. “Not now, Rowan. Not now. You had your chance, let me be.” 

“What chance? The fucking run-in at a cafe? That was not a ‘chance’ Aelin.” He snapped. Letting his frustration run into his tone. She hated him when he was like this. Not frustrated, no she understood that. But…seeking. She knew what he wanted, and she knew it would break her down quicker than she could turn away. Her sanity rested on the finalization of this conversation. 

Smiling politely, in a way she knew brought more frustration, she turned away and began preparing the drink. 

“Not now,” She whispered. More to herself, a silent prayer of resistance. She heard more than saw Rowan turn to walk away, over the entire conversation entirely. He missed the tear that raced down her cheek, or the hitch in her breath when the door swung close. 

-

“Peppermint Cocktails!” Aelin announced, waltzing into the room with her usual charm, all emotions wiped. She avoided Rowan’s look like the plague. Offering a drink to each friend, she was pleased to hear that her concoction was the best of the night – an unsurprising win – and the group sat around talking still. The light buzz from all the alcohol had Aelin feeling looser. The unease from moments ago slipped away like sand between her fingers. 

“I saw Rowan walk into the kitchen,” Elide whispered into her ear. Everyone else had been looking at a picture on Lorcan's phone. 

“Mhm.” 

“Want to talk about it?” 

“No.”

Hour Five

Rowan likes the cold. 

He liked it in a way many others didn't. He liked the way it nipped at his body slowly in the beginning, a feeling that was urgently chased away by shivers. He liked it when it froze deeper. When it slowly crawled into the heat of his body, dousing it and cutting off feeling. He liked the stiffness. The slowed movement as the cold reached his core, seizing feeling. It isolated him in a way many things did not. 

Sitting on the front porch of Lysandra’s apartment, he embraced the cold. 

Everyone had just finished up with a game of cards, and Aedion had rushed out, forgetting some ingredients for dinner. He had excused himself, just need a moment, and walked all of three steps before stopping. Allowing his body to freeze, his cashmere sweater not saving much heat. 

As he lost feeling of some body parts, he embraced the thoughts rushing through his mind, all seemingly racing in circles around the fiery blonde. The one whose embers never burnt out, but now seemed to be slowly dying. The consistent crackle and warmth of her presence, all leaking away in a manner he knew he was responsible for. 

The cold he had embraced wholeheartedly was killing his fireheart. 

His thoughts spun like the twirling snowflakes as they fell to the ground. Circling gently, melting away. But all things seemed to lead him back to his bedroom. To the moment this morning, before he had slipped away into the cab to make it here tonight. His thoughts brought him to the second drawer in his nightstand, underneath a notepad and tissues. In an embroidered box, sat a diamond ring, inlaid into a gold band that had sweeping leaf designs along its curves. Two emeralds set into the inside, to rub against one's finger. 

All thoughts seemed to lead him back to Aelin

Hour Six, Hour Seven, Hour Eight

“Can you pass me the salt?” Lysandra called from Aelin's right. She was before the stove, stirring the gravy and watching the vegetables as they cooked in the pan. 

Handing her the salt, Aelin brushed by her to grab some butter from the fridge. Needing it for the bread that would be coming out of the oven soon, steaming hot. 

They worked in a comfortable silence, only waiting for Aedion to return with some forgotten ingredients. Lorcan, Elide, and Rowan were all in the living room, having not been drawn for cooking duty this year. A method that was quickly taken up once the group realized six people in the kitchen was less of a pleasant experience. Top many bossy chefs. 

Post-cocktail hour, tipsy cards had commenced. And the many, many, shots of straight liquor had reached Aelin by that time. She was feeling much better, her heart no longer aching and screaming at her mind to just look at the man across from her. Rather, she had enthusiastically played cards. Letting the feeling of her family around her and the laughter that kept escaping cocoon her. Unfortunately, that joy had meant that Lorcan had swept everyone off their asses, wiping the board clean and winning the one hundred and twenty dollars put into the pot. That had sobered her up pretty quickly, arguing that he had cheated. He had just smirked. 

Then when Aedion rushed out, Aelin caught sight of Rowan walking out the front door too. She had been standing at the other end of the hallway, out of his view. She had watched his expression fall as soon as he crossed the threshold. It was like night and day, the crinkle around his eyes and the brightness of his smile, wiped away. He just stepped out, closing the door softly behind him. 

She had waited a moment, arguing mentally if she should go after him, until Lysandra had called, telling Aelin she needed her help. 

She wasn't ready to face him alone.

“Aelin,” A soft hand was at Aelin's wrist, pausing her chopping of vegetables. She glanced up, shocked out of her reverie. Lysandra was staring at her, looking deeply into her, her brows pulled together in confusion. She must've been calling me for a minute. When it seemed Lysandra had the other woman’s attention, she added softly, “I couldn't not invite one of you.” 

Dropping the knife, “Lys.” Aelin pleaded, not wanting to have this conversation. It felt like the entire night had been her running in circles around her and Rowan. Her and Rowan. Rowan and I. “Seriously, I can't do more of this.” 

Lysandra paid no mind to Aelin’s plea, pushing forward. “Listen. I love you deeply, very very deeply. Sometimes I wonder why,” at that, Aelin cracked a mirthful smile. “But I see the way you two look at each other. And while I know it's not my business, I think this is something you two seriously need to talk out.” She said solemnly. 

This was the point she'd been dancing around for such a long time. 

Pushing the cutting board away from her, Aelin slumped into her arms, leaning against the counter. 

“Did I make a mistake? Breaking up with him?” Like a breath after being underwater, Aelin let it out, asking the question that had rattled in the back of her mind for months. Breathing in a little deeper when some new space opened up because of it. 

“I have my own opinions, but whether or not you made a mistake is up to you.” Lysandra was soothingly rubbing her back. 

“Some days it feels like the biggest fucking mistake I've ever made, Lys. Some days it hurts so much I can't even get out of bed.” 

She hummed, letting Aelin speak. 

“I just– it felt right at the time. But it doesn't feel right now. How is that fair? How could I have made a decision like that? What would have happened if I stayed?”

“You wouldn't have done well, Ae. We all saw what was happening.”

“But you can't know that.” She whispered out. 

“I can, and I did. Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is let go. And that's what you did, my love. Maybe something could have gotten better, but maybe not.” Lysandra took a deep breath. “I'm proud of you regardless, that's not an easy choice to make.”

“And it clearly wasn't the fucking right one.” 

Lysandra's hand stopped, she grabbed onto Aelin's shoulder, squeezing firmly. 

“You can say that all you want, Aelin, but ultimately it was the right choice for you at the time. You blossomed. But now? Maybe it's different. And maybe every time I see you two lovesick fools in the same room, I am simultaneously sick and overjoyed. I see his face when he looks at you Ae, like you hung the stars.”

“What's this? Therapy hour?” A loud voice broke apart their moment, jerking both women out of their moment. It was Aedion with the groceries. He was smiling widely, but it fell when he took in the expression of the other women. “Oh. Shit, sorry.”

Aelin just groaned. “And look at me now, ruining the festivities.” Watching Aedion's smile drop was just a reminder of the emotional burden she forgot to check at the door. Bringing that cloud of gloom inside. It was not fair to everyone else, they didn't deserve to bear witness to the sorrow leaking from her. 

“You're not ruining anything, Aelin. Aedion, stop being an idiot.” Lysandra amended. 

Aedion, clearly understanding the situation now, came over to drop the groceries on the counter and pull his cousin into a tight hug. “Lys is right. You have nothing to be sorry for. We all love you lots and want to see you happy, and if drinking shitty cocktails and spilling your gossip helps you feel better, I'll gladly do it alongside you.” He kissed her temple. 

Aelin wanted to break down. This was not how she expected to spend this evening. Granted, she has predicted being in the same vicinity as Rowan would test her. Bring those choked feelings up to the surface. It would hurt just as it had when they split, as there was truly no way to prepare for seeing him again after months of no contact. Months of isolation and heartache. Months without the half that made her whole. 

“Lys, baby, is the gravy supposed to bubble like that?”

“Shit!” Exclaiming, Lysandra rushed away from Aelin's side to check on her portion of dinner. Leaving Aelin, still bent over the counter, staring at the herbs she’d have to chop to sprinkle over the potatoes. 

She felt a gentle shoulder push against her side, and then her cousin was beside her, close enough she could feel the warmth radiating off his huge form. “Your parents would be so proud of you, Ae. No matter what. And I think you should do what you feel is best. Even if that's walking away. I love you, we love you.” Mumbling into her ears, lower than anyone else could hear. Aelin nodded, brushing the moisture away from her face. 

“I love you too, Aedion.”

-

“Cheers to this year!”

Glasses chimed as they clinked together, bubbly wine spilling over, onto the feast laid up on the table. Decadent smells wafted up, making Aelin's stomach rumble. She was ready to dig into the spread, and let the food smother the churning anxiety in her stomach. 

She was seated next to Elide, and Aedion on her other side. Everyone else was spread around the round table – Lysandra hated the idea of a square table. Not wanting any fighting over the head of it. 

Aelin had spoken to Lysandra and Aedion for a few minutes more, opening up a little about how she had been feeling. It took some pushing, given her displeasure at possibly ruining everyone's evening with her issues, but the couple had assured her that it wasn't possible. Highly doubtful of that. But it had been…cathartic, to really speak about how she had felt. How she was dealing with her wounded heart. It meant more than Aelin would realize at the moment, for the two of them to give her a little perspective. 

Then, once the timer for the roast had gone off, and the main part of dinner had been pulled out of the oven, it was dressed up in the herbs Aelin had finally finished chopping – after getting a few more hugs in from both Lys and Aedion. Lys and her had started dishing up the plates and Aedion set off to cut some of the roast. Lorcan and Rowan had joined to set the table. And Elide had popped some bottles of prosecco, pouring glasses for everyone. 

Seated now, in front of a plate of aromatic food, a balm for the soul, she felt the urge to voice her appreciation. “So,” she started, drawing attention from everyone, especially Rowan. “I- I wanted to say thank you. To all of you. I think… that because of the lives we live today, I really don't have the opportunity to look at all of you and say that. To be able to sit around with each of you means more than anything, and I can't imagine being anywhere else right now. It wouldn't feel right.” 

“Cheers to that,” Lorcan added, a slight smile aimed in Aelin’s direction. If that wasn't the definition of a Yulemas miracle, she didn't know what else could be.

Glancing around the table, the circle of the most important people in her life, her eyes stalled upon Rowan. She meant what she said, meant every piece of it. She loved all of them. Grumpy Lorcan, meddling Lysandra. But gods, she loved Rowan, and she lied to herself every day when he was no longer a warm presence next to her. His side of the bed uncharacteristically cold. The feeling of it cooling her. 

She hadn't noticed the change in the environment, her focus being locked on Rowan. Their eyes connected, as if reading each other's minds. A choked wheezing noise almost drew her away, but she couldn't. Not when she was swimming in him, not when–

SLAM

“Elide!” A shrill scream. Ripping Aelin away, she was met with a panicked Lysandra, and a horrified Lorcan. 

Elide was facedown on the table, and amid chaos, Aelin noticed her chest was not rising and falling as it should. Shouts ensued, voices yelling about get her up and call an ambulance. What had happened in the seconds Aelin wasn't present. How could this have happened that quickly? What was happening! 

“She can't breathe!”

“Start CPR. Now!”

“Has someone called an ambulance?” 

What is going on!

Lorcan had gently laid Elide on the floor. He had his finger down her throat. His face was panicked, but he was hiding it well, focusing on Elide. Chairs were shoved back, and Lysandra was rushing away, Aedion was on the phone, Rowan was getting on his knees by Elide. They were saying something to each other. Rowan pushed Lorcan away. Lorcan fought back before he realized what was happening. Rowan placed his hands by Elide’s middle, his fingers laced together. She looked so frail there, on the floor. 

Rowan started pushing down, one two three four. One two three four. Onetwothreefouronetwothreefour– What is happening!

Aelin was frozen. Frozen in fear, in disbelief, in shock. How. That's all that was going through her mind. How. It had been going so well, how could one moment lead to this? To Elide, down on the floor, not breathing as her fiance shouted panic commands at Rowan. Equally freaked out. To Aedion, shouting instructions from paramedics. Two minutes away! To Lysandra, distraught, not knowing what to do. To Aelin, standing as her best friend couldn't breathe. 

Lorcan leaned down, his ear by Elide's mouth. His hand on her neck, searching. Rowan paused, breathing heavily. 

Aelin thought she knew what it was to feel her heartbreak, to feel it shatter. But she had never felt it as it fell. Dropped straight out of her chest when Lorcan looked up, eyes wide as saucers, pupils fully dilated. As he looked at Rowan and a lone tear slipped from his eye, dropping down, down, down. Down to where Elide was not breathing. 

Hour …

Seated in the emergency ward of the local hospital, Aelin listened to a dull Lorcan list off what had happened. She had choked. She had something lodged in her throat for so long that she passed out. It got lodged deeper. She has two broken ribs. It's not your fault Rowan. You saved her life. She had an endoscopic surgery. To remove the food. She’ll need to stay for the night. Observation. 

Struck by disbelief, Aelin couldn't do anything more than trace the lines on the floor. Her hands shook, a later symptom of the shock that had paralyzed Aelin in the moment of action. As Elide was carried out to the ambulance –still not breathing – she had only stood there. Rooted to place. Snapping out of it only when Rowan said he was going to follow them to the hospital. Aelin hadn't even said anything, snapping out of her state and running to the door to grab her boots and jump into whatever car Rowan would be taking. 

Only she and Rowan were at the hospital, alongside Lorcan. Aedion had made the executive decision for Lys and him to stay back. Lys had been hysterical, shouting, but shaking just as Aelin was now. She hadn't thought of them once, only what might happen to Elide. To her lovely Elide. 

“But she’ll be okay?” Rowan whispered. Agony weaved into his question. He felt guilty, this Aelin knew. Even if he had saved a life, he felt guilty he had hurt someone. She could scream. 

Aelin didn't hear an answer, assuming that Lorcan had nodded when Rowan let out a great sigh. Cut short by the sob that burst out. Lorcan was there in an instant, wrapping his brother up in a tight hug. She palmed her thighs, squeezing so tightly. 

Eventually, Lorcan released Rowan. The both of them were slightly breathless. Eyes red and sad. Lorcan said he was going to check on Elide, and Rowan sat down next to her. For a few quiet moments, no words were exchanged. A too-real grief hung heavy in the air. They almost lost someone, and now here they were, waiting for Elide to be here again. Because she almost wasn't. She was so close to not being here anymore. 

Standing up abruptly, “I- I have to go.” Aelin walked off, not waiting for an answer from Rowan. She was walking quickly through the halls, adrenaline coursing through her so quickly she could barely breathe. And then her breath was coming too quickly. And then she was running, running for the exit. And in her haste, she didn't hear the other feet running after her. 

All she could hear was her breath. Elide’s lack of. 

She slammed through the front doors, flat-out sprinting now. She had no idea where to go, and it was snowing hard. The wind whipped at her dress-clad form – she hadn't grabbed her jacket. But she kept running. Tripping up on ice, pelted by the rising blizzard. She had no idea where she was, but the blood rushing in her ears, and her hyperventilating had her in a dizzying state. 

“AELIN!” A voice roared. She couldn't tell where the sound was coming from, completely surrounded by falling snow, as it blocked out the light. Spinning wildly, she could feel the tears as they rushed down her face, freezing on her cheeks. 

She was panting, barely in control, when Rowan came from her side, nearly slamming into her and knocking them both over. He was breathing heavily too. His hair was out of place and his eyes were wild. 

“What were you thinking!” He yelled, grabbing onto her. “You can't fucking run like that! Aelin! What the fuck!” His tone kept increasing. His chest rose and fell rapidly. Unlike Elide. No movement, no breaths. No breaths, no breath, not breathi- 

“Aelin! AELIN! Look at me!” 

Her eyes were wild, nails pressing into Rowan’s biceps as she held onto him for dear life. Where was she, where was she, wherewasshe…

A chilled hand grabbed her chin, pulling her – not roughly – to look into Rowan’s frantic gaze. Her breathing wasn't slowing, and Rowan’s gaze was unbreakable. He was whispering something, his lips moving. Aelin watched as they moved, shifting up, down. The corners of his mouth pinching. Another hand came up, and her face was now being cradled between Rowan’s large hands. And she saw his lips still moving, and then the crease in his brow, the worry dancing in his eyes. And then she was pressed against his warm chest. 

Her head was against his heart. The thump-thump a grounding. She felt her breathing start to ease, felt arms tighten around her. Felt as she leaned further into Rowan. The tears falling faster now, but her breaths slowing enough that her brain could finally catch up. To where she was. Where she was, here in Rowan’s arms. In Rowan’s ar–

“No!’ She shouted shoving away from him, breaking the cage that was his grasp. “No! No, no, no!” 

Rowan just let his arms drop, hanging by his sides. His expression was one of worry, and confusion. Frustration and dismay. “What?” He said. His voice carried through the snowstorm. 

“Dont– Dont do that!” Aelin sobbed out, hands going to her hair. Pulling at the roots and turning around aimlessly. 

“Do what.” His hands clenched. His worry wiped away, a vexed expression appearing instead. 

“Do that! Care for me! Stop!” She kept shouting, the snow thoroughly soaking her now. The chill seeping into her bones.

“Care for you? What?” He shouted back. “What the fuck do you mean Aelin!”

“I mean, don't come r-rushing after me! Don't fucking p-pretend you care!” 

“Pretend I care?!” He took a step forward, she took one back. An undecipherable look crossed his face, before it was set back into a frown. His shoulders lined with tension, and fists opening and closing around nothing. “Aelin, what do you mean?”

“You don't care. S-so don't c-come running after m-me like you do!” The chills were shaking her body now, and she wrapped her arms around herself as tightly as possible, trying to keep in body heat. The storm was getting worse. Rowan’s image was getting blurrier, maybe it was her tears, still flowing freely. Along with her nose. 

“What… Aelin– I,” His hand went to his hair, raking through the soaked strands before pulling. “I chased after you because you fucking ran away hyperventilating! Out of a hospital! Into a fucking blizzard! What do you think I’d do? Sit there like an idiot and let you freeze to death or get hit by a car?!” 

“It doesn-”

“Yes it does! Yes, it fucking does!”

“Why!” She screamed, shaking and watching as Rowan stepped forward. This time she didn't step back. 

“Aelin.” He said, this time it was more of a command, a telling. “Are you asking me why I’d come for you?”

She considered it for a second, then nodded. 

A moment passed before Rowan's face morphed into one of genuine pain. 

“Because I would always fucking follow you! And I would always make sure you are okay, no matter what.” He snapped. “And I'm sorry I can't turn my feelings off as easily as you, but watching you walk away, no matter what, it fucking kills me!” 

There was a pause as the words sunk in, as Rowan’s chest rose and fell with laboured breaths, as his eyes traced her face for any hint – of anything. 

“You what?” Aelin squeaked out. Not knowing if the question was swallowed up by the storm until Rowan took a tentative step forward. Then another, then they were just a few breaths apart. 

“I would always follow you, Aelin,” He whispered, face drawn in sorrow. Her cheeks hurt from the frozen tears, but they warmed at his confession. “Because… because I still love you. Still so, so much. Ae, it hurts.” 

“What,” She said, more to herself. But Rowan's face crumpled, and she felt the fall directly in her heart. 

“Aelin,” He whispered, reaching for her hand that was tucked under her exposed bicep. Slowly freezing. She let him grab the hand, warming it between his palms, and then pulling her forward to place it on his heart. “I have missed you every day, and I- I couldn't do anything about it, ‘cause I fucked it up in the first place. I made you have to leave. And so I watched you walk away. I let you,” He took a deep breath. “I never wanted that to happen. Ever. But I did, and… gods Aelin, I’ve never regretted something more in my life.”

She just looked up at him. Not really believing the words she was hearing, because how could this be possible? 

“Rowan…” Her lips were turning blue, and she could barely feel her legs. She was going to freeze out here, in the midst of a blizzard, as she heard her ex-boyfriend tell her how he messed up, how he missed her. 

A tear fell on his face, and she watched it trail down. “I love you, Fireheart. I still love you. I am in love with you.” He shook his head, his hair had froze. “I'm sorry.”

“Rowan, I t-thought you wanted m-me gone. I thought it w-wasnt working.” Her teeth were clacking together so hard, she could barely get the words out. That and the weird feeling erupting from inside her. 

“I never wanted you gone, Ae. I was just so… I didn't realize what I had– what we had.” 

“And now y-you do?” She mumbled, her feelings dancing on the edge of a knife. 

His pine-green eyes scanned her face so quickly, moving over every feature. As if he was re-memorizing them all. She watched his throat work.

“Ae… I don’t know how to– I,” He closed his eyes. 

Aelin took in her hand on his chest, the tear tracks along his beautiful face. The soaked sweater. Her frozen body, and she took a chance, stepping forward, pressing up. 

Rowan must have sensed a change, because his eyes snapped open, searching, before finding Aelin closer than she had been in months. 

“Rowan…” She breathed, “I love you so godsdamned much.” She slung her arms around his neck, and pressed a cold kiss onto his stunned lips. He didn't react for a second, and she almost darted away, before she was pulled back. 

Her lips crashed back into Rowan, into a fiery and all-consuming kiss that warmed her from head to toe. Rowan's hands moved all over, making purchase along her frozen body. Never settling, like he didn't realize she was real. 

There, in the middle of a raging blizzard, Aelin got back what she had been searching for. Her other half. The man who was only everything to her, all along, and forever. 

-

Once Rowan had realized that Aelin might actually contract hypothermia, he had rushed her back to the hospital, where she was treated for minor frostbite, and then released soon after. The pair had visited a sleeping Elide and tired Lorcan, before heading back to the house to update Lysandra and Aedion. Once they had gotten past them, Rowan had gone up to their room to run a bath for Aelin. 

Lysandra had told Aelin she could take Lorcan and Elide’s room – given that they wouldn't be home that night – and when she had objected, saying she preferred her room, Aedion and Lysandra had looked at each other questioningly. But they let her go without a fuss, Lysandra already planning to get this information out of the woman. 

Aelin had paid them no heed, moving lethargically upstairs, where she found Rowan sprinkling some of the petals from the rose into the bath. 

She had kissed him, and then gotten distracted kissing him, before timidly inviting him into the bath as well. He agreed, and the two of them spent a gentle moment together, not initiating anything further, but Aelin sunk into the feeling of Rowan, of having him back in her life, in her heart. 

When they had both pruned up, Rowan hopped out and brought the towels over, drying the both of them off. Running on the dregs of her earlier adrenaline rush, Aelin leaned heavily into Rowan as he got her ready for bed. The soft moment bringing her back to where she felt safe, where she knew she belonged. And when Rowan picked her up bridal style, gently laying her on her side of the bed, tucking her in and then crawling in behind her, she knew she was home. 

“I love you, Rowan.”

“I love you, Aelin.”

Hours Later

That morning, when they went as a group to visit Elide and Lorcan in the hospital, carrying some gingerbread cookies, flowers and a present for Elide, they found the couple asleep together in bed. Lorcan's large body curled protectively around Elide, his great arms placed with a delicateness reserved only for the woman he loved. They had tried to backtrack – let them sleep – only for Elide to snap at them. Telling them to get their asses back in the room because she wants to spend Yulemas morning with her family. 

Aelin could have cried happy tears, and she had. Rushing forward to hug Elide. Careful of her ribs, and the giant man behind her. She had cried into her arms. Mumbling incoherent words into the woman's skin. And soon she was joined by Lysandra, who was equally as teary. Lorcan had mumbled something about wanting to spend the morning with his fiance and had slipped off the bed with a groan, headed elsewhere. His spot was quickly replaced by the two other women. All of them snuggling up together. Rowan had snapped a quick photo. 

Aedion and Rowan pulled up chairs, and Rowan grabbed an extra for Lorcan when he returned. Chattering happily, Elide was in the center of her family. And even if she had been in pain, had almost died, she was forgetting about it instantly with their arrival. And she sat with them for the entire morning, basking in the love so freely available. 

And when it was time for them to leave, she didn't miss the way Rowan folded his arms around Aelin, and the beaming smile she reserved for him. The way their hands snaked together when they thought no one was looking. And the kiss Rowan dropped onto Aelin's brow as they walked off, away. Intertwined again.

Taglist: @backtobl4ck // @goddess-aelin

Thank you for reading!! Happy holidays to you all :))))

[minkkumaz]

hi omg your riwoo fic... TEARS WERE SHED... if you're open to requests can i request an angst sungho fic (with fluffy ending though) HSJSHSH thank u

TALK TO THE WALL

fighting with sungho was tiring, and it's not something you normally do. when things get a little hard to handle, maybe you just need to step out and see what happens in the morning.

PAIRING park sungho x fem!reader WC 0.6k TAGS established relationship. angst. fluff. fighting. yelling. making up. OMI NOTE omg hi anonn i hope this was good for you. whenever i think of angst with happy ending i always think of couples fighting LOL

maybe you understood the true meaning of eternity, as you had been arguing with sungho for the past hour or two. it didn’t end, and his words continued to cut you deep, leaving a gash of things he didn’t know could come out of his mouth.

it was silly really, couldn’t you understand that he was busy? so why did it feel like he was ignoring you on purpose? you wondered if the spark between the two of you finally became dull like a burnt out match. 

the louder he got, the quieter he became. to be honest, you had stopped listening. 

“why can’t you just listen to me, y/n! i’m tired, i can’t deal with this right now.” he shouted at your shaky figure.

“i didn’t ask you to deal with shit, sungho! i haven’t seen you in so fucking long is it so wrong to ask for some time with you?” you cry out.

“i just can’t keep dedicating my world to you y/n, i need time for myself too.” 

“but it’s been months. when was the last time we went on a date? when was the last time we cuddled? fuck i even forgot what it felt like to kiss you. don’t you understand how frustrating that is?” 

“god this is so stupid. you were never this clingy what the hell happened?” he groaned, running a hand through his sleek black hair, still a bit messy from his long day.

“oh, so now i’m clingy? is that what i get for missing my stupid boyfriend?” you choke out, wiping tears with your already wet sleeve.

“don’t make me feel like the bad guy, y/n.”

“i’m not trying to make you feel anything except for maybe a little sympathy for how i’m feeling.” you bit the flesh inside your cheek.

“you just don’t get it, do you?” he scoffed.

“talk to a fucking wall, sungho.” you storm off into your shared room, making sure to lock the door behind you. anything he said to you while you turned away from him didn’t settle in your head. 

more tears fell down your flushed cheeks as you snuck into the covers, muffling your sobs with the white sheet. things weren’t always like this, in fact, they were never like this. you didn’t want to imagine your everyday life without seeing his handsome face. 

sleep came easy as you felt numb. no knock on the door, no sign of life outside of your bedroom. you wondered if he left you and you’d come out to an empty apartment. 

the next morning you woke up with a raging headache, and the light from your blinds illuminating your post cry glow. sungho’s smell already began to disappear from the pillows after one night, this stung your heart a little.

rubbing your puffy eyes, you slowly got up from your bed and trudged to the door. there was something blocking light on the otherside, but you were surprised to see sungho fall backwards upon opening. he shot awake, looking around before meeting you.

“baby why are you sleeping at the door? don’t you have practice?” you muttered.

“i told jaehyun i wouldn’t make it today. we’re not supposed to go to bed angry, my love. i didn’t want to leave you alone..”

“so we can continue our argument? no thanks.” you tried to push his body out of the doorframe but he wouldn’t move, instead standing to meet you.

“i don’t like it when we argue, y/n. i was out of line and should’ve took a second to consider things from your perspective.” he takes his hands up to your swollen face, frowning as you furrow your eyebrows.

“i just missed you, a lot.”

“you deserve so much, and i’m sorry i haven’t been able to give that to you recently. let me make it up to you today, pretty.” he kisses your forehead before pulling you into a hug.  “love you, sung. please let’s talk and not yell next time.” you sigh at the familiar scent embracing you once again.

“never in a million years would i yell at you again.”

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[tblsomedoodles]

Finally get to post my Clara doodles! : )

oh and here's some more b/c my internet was down and i really like drawing her (i got attached very quickly lol)

Ok, i should probably explain a little more about Clara before i go any farther. (i'll put it under a break b/c, most likely, it will be long)

Clara is, essentially, Donnie's adopted daughter. She's not biologically related to the boys in any way. Donnie found her, unhatched, and brought her back to an incubator he had set up in his lab specifically for her.

(i couldn't see Donnie, who hates his powers, going out of his way to create the next Seer. He would rather risk breaking the cycle or whatever than create a child specifically for such a purpose. But, if he found the child who was going to be their replacement, he would not leave them to die. or worse, risk them surviving and growing up without the safety of the vault or someone to explain their powers.)

Donnie found her at a zoo, where a very dedicated zookeeper had been doing their best to take care of what animals they could. One of which was a pair of Indian Peacock Softshell turtles who had laid eggs, one of which got mutated by a leftover oozqueito before ever hatching. That would soon be Clara. Donnie showed up the day the zookeeper died, collected her, and brought her back to the lab so she would continue to grow.

Donnie did consider her to be his child, even though he knew he would never properly meet her. He spent a lot of time searching through visions, watching her grow up in the only way he could. He insured she would want for nothing. Knowledge, gear, whatever he could foresee her needing, he made sure it was ready for her. just as he did for the rest of his family. (he might hate his Seer powers, but he couldn't deny they were useful when it came to preparing for his death)

So Clara grew up in the care of her Uncles (mostly Leo but Mikey and Raph definitely helped) as well Cass and April. (She actually calls Cass, Mama Casey b/c that's what CJ calls her. Also b/c, early on, her visions would upset her to the point where only being around CJ would calm her down. So Cass said that if she was going to watch them at night this often, she was claiming Clara as her kid too. Thus she did.)

Clara and CJ's powers strengthened pretty early (apocalypse does that). It upset her at first, but as time went on, she got tired of crying over it and decided to be angry at them. Her standard way of dealing with bad visions as a teen, was to beat up a training dummy until she either felt marginally better and then sought out CJ, or until CJ found her there.

personality wise, Clara is loud and brash. she is also snarky as hell and has little to no verbal filter. (she's essentially an 03 or 12 Raph lol) She absolutely hates feminine clothing with a passion and whenever Mikey or Raph tried to dress her up as a child, she and CJ would switch clothes as soon as the two looked away.

i think that's it for now? i can't think of anything else really. Other than maybe that i've figured out a way i could add her character (minus the seer powers) to the cannon apocalypse without upsetting the plot much. But i'm not sure i'm going to do it since it's very tragic and i'm not sure i want to put Donnie through that.

[acescorazon]

Buggy x Mihawk x Crocodile prompt: Mihawk and Crocodile's bullying and beatings start taking a toll on Buggy, especially since he's somehow fallen irrevocably in love with both his "business partners". After a incident where Crocodile goes too far and Mihawk actually intervenes to stop him, Buggy falls fully into despair and decides to fully fall into the ocean to certain death. He waits until late at night and sneaks off to the docks. He falls in and expects the end but just as everything goes dark he sees a pair of golden eyes and hands reaching for him. When Buggy opens his eyes again he's very much alive, with Mihawk and Crocodile keeping vigil over him. Mihawk is mighty pissed and Crocodile is uncomfortable in his guilt. They figure things out eventually, messily and all.

Bestie if you didn't read this post, this is for you (as well as some of my other anons/ ppl who sent in requests ) LOL (it explains my shenanigans.)

ANYWAYS!!! Bby your idea...she's giving slow burn...she's giving...make it hurt...She's giving multi-chapter series realness. She deserves so much more than a one shot. She's a star who deserves to shine brightly...and i'm giving her what she deserves LOL. i don't have a title, so fuck it we ball, but consider this a prologue since it just really goes over Cross Guild's past briefly. So for anyone about to read,i'm not telling you how to live your life, but i'm juuuust saying you might want to have read up to like Ch 1082?

The sounds of canons being fired and screaming can be heard all over the island, and Buggy swears that he’s moments away from having a full blown panic attack. Why now? Why did they suddenly decide to abolish the warlord system? Buggy was just starting to enjoy his newfound power and, more importantly, protection. His men keep screaming at him, begging for him to do something because Buggy’s so strong and powerful, and mighty after all. He sailed the sea with Gol. D Rogers, Dark King Rayleigh, and a young Red Haired Shanks after all. He ‘led’ a prison escape after all. He ‘fought’ in the war after all… He’s the one who’s a former warlord of the sea after all…  Buggy must be a formidable foe, right? Buggy must be able to bring him and his men to victory, right? Buggy can take on some marines…right…?

Buggy watches in horror as a fleet of marines attack his battle ships, sinking them, as they gradually begin to encircle the entire island. Oh, they’re doomed. His men are still yelling at him, asking him questions that he can barely process at the moment because he can’t breathe let alone talk.

“Chairman Buggy, what are your orders, sir?!”

”Chairman Buggy, the marines just sank another one of our ships.”

“Captain Buggy, why are you just standing there?!”

“Chairman Buggy, do something!!”

“Captain!!!”

Buggy’s…Buggy’s got to go, like, right now. He can’t handle this. He doesn’t know what to do, this attack happened so fast… He swears the world government abolished the warlord system just this morning, and they already have marines on their ass. He needs off this island before it burns down and he turns to ash with it. He hopes and prays that he still has at least one good ship that he can escape on, and as for his men…

God, Buggy can’t do this. He can’t do this. The amount of men he controls has grown considerably after the war, and he can’t’ confidently say he can evacuate everyone on the island, not that he thinks anyone wants to leave in the first place. His kids are all dedicated and always willing to fight…(Buggy wishes he can say the same.)

Screw it, he’s calling for that evacuation order.

“Chairman Buggy, someone’s attacking the marines!” Someone’s attacking the marines…? Did Buggy have men out at sea that are now returning home and diligently attacking the marines now that they see the island is under attack? Does he have any allies who were conveniently on their way to visit, when they noticed the marines were attacking them? Is this just another group of pirates who noticed the marines and wanted to make a name for themselves, so they decided to attack them while they just so happened to be attacking Emptee Bluffs Island? Who are the heroes saving Buggy and his children?!

“Hey! It’s Crocodile!”

“Chairman Buggy, Crocodile is here to save us!!”

As soon as Buggy hears that name, his stomach drops. No, why? Why now? Why is this all happening to him now? There’s only one reason why Crocodile would be coming to Emptee Bluffs island, and Buggy…Buggy needs to leave. Forget his men, they’ll be fine, Buggy’s the one whose life is in grave danger. In all honesty, he’d rather be facing the Marines than have to deal with Crocodile’s wrath.

Buggy leaves the tent where he makes all his official announcements to his men, and his men watch him, confused, as he tries to make his escape. Some of them even mindlessly try to follow him, and Buggy doesn’t have the heart to tell the men following him to leave him alone because they’ll just bring unneeded attention to Buggy while he tries to flee. He makes it two, no, three steps out of the tent before he sees him, heading his way. “AHHH!”  Buggy screams at the top of his lungs, instantly, spinning back around on his heels and trying to push through a crowd of men, “Let me through! Let me through!!!” He orders them, trying to get back inside his tent and hide.

“Chairman…What’s wrong…it’s just Crocodile?”  

It is not just Crocodile. Do his men not realize how scary this man is? Do they not realize that their beloved Chairman and Captain is moments away from getting his ass beaten? Buggy forces himself through all the bodies in front of him and rushes back into the tent, but it’s too late.

“Running away, Buggy?” He hears a deep, intimidating voice call out from behind him. Ah, so it looks like this is the end of the road for Buggy, huh…? What does he do now, he doesn’t think he can out run Crocodile…

Beg for mercy?

Buggy slowly turns around, waving nervously at Crocodile, “Uh, hey!” He greets him, voice already shaking as he speaks. He’s going to scream, cry, and vomit, and all in that order. “I wasn’t running away… I was just, uh…” he trails off, unsure of what excuse he could possibly use in this situation because Crocodile saw him make a run for it with his own eyes. He notices belatedly that Crocodile has that other tall, slightly less intimidating but still extremely scary, fellow with him…Daz…? They all escaped prison together, didn’t they? And…There’s also…Mihawk? Why is Mihawk with him?

Crocodile’s cold voice brings Buggy crashing back down to reality, “Whatever. Where’s my money, clown?” Where’s his money…right…Right…the money that Buggy borrowed after the war, and most definitely has right now… That money…

(He’s lucky if he even has money for lunch.)  

Buggy forces a bright smile onto his face, “Y-your money?!” he repeats, trying to buy himself some more time while he figures out an excuse that’ll save his ass. “Well.. You see.. about that…” he’s just about to start babbling bullshit when Crocodile narrows his eyes at him, giving him the nastiest look. Oh! Okay! “Crocodile, please.” Buggy whines, “Look around, I have so many kids to feed…and… and It’s not exactly like business has been booming…and, and…I just lost my biggest money makers…and…”

Buggy’s never been one to admit his failures,  but this is a matter of life or death, and truth be told, Buggy’s delivery service hasn’t been doing too hot lately, but he just needs a little bit more time! He… He can fix everything, and get Crocodile his money back. “Please, just...Give me a month…” He begs, and Crocodile gives him that look again. Oh, okay! That’s obviously way too much time! “Three weeks, give me three weeks and I’ll have all your money… plus interest…”

Truth be told there’s no way in hell he’d ever be able to repay Crocodile the amount of money he owes him in that amount of time, and he sure wouldn’t be able to pay him interest on top of everything, but he… he just needs an excuse. If Crocodile believes him, then… Then as soon as he gets the chance, he’ll pack up and leave. He’ll dye his hair and change his name, and…

Crocodile scowls at him, “You’re saying you don’t have my money?” Well, no…but, yes… but, no he’s definitely not saying anything like that…what… what he is saying is that he’s broke right now, and just needs a little bit more time… “That’s fine.” Crocodile tells him, despite still having a terrifying look on his face, and there’s a moment where Buggy’s filled with hope.  Is...is his life saved? “I can just sell you.” Crocodile says the words, ‘I can just sell you.’ nonchalantly, and like Buggy isn't human, like…like he’s nothing more but an object, and like his life has no meaning to it. God, what did Buggy get himself into?

“Hey…Hey…Croccy, baby…Hey!” Buggy raises his hands up. Is it hot in here? Is Buggy the only one sweating right now? “We’re friends…remember? We escaped Impel down together remember?!” he stammers, trying to remind Crocodile of all the good times they shared together like….when they… well, uh, there was that one time where they… and then there was that other time when they… Oof.

Buggy is the one using his powers to make himself look ten times bigger than he should actually be right now, but for some reason, he still feels so small especially as he picks up the not so subtle shifts in Crocodile’s expression. He goes from slightly irked, to fully annoyed, to looking like he’s moments away from ripping Buggy to shreds.  “Oh, I remember, but I need my money now. I’m starting a new company and I need that money, clown.” Crocodile announces, and Buggy’s not sure how much longer he has before Crocodile snaps and beats him within an inch of his life. “If you can’t pay me back now, you need to make up for the money you’ve borrowed in other ways. Understand?”

Buggy swallows hard. God, what now? What does he say now? He considers making a run for it again, when all of a sudden an idea forms in his gigantic brain, “Oh!” He exclaims, “I know! I know! I can be your errand boy, or something,” he suggests, “I can work off my debt to you!” Crocodile’s cold, harden expression remains on his face, until Buggy casually stammers out:

“I…I have men who can give your new company the flashiest debut possible! My men can do it all: printing, design, advertisement, you name it…Just please don’t kill me!”

…

Somehow Buggy survives his encounter with both The Marines and Crocodile…Don’t ask him how, he’s always had the stupidest of luck. It doesn’t matter though, as soon as Buggy gets the okay from Crocodile, he’s looking for the best choice among all his men to design a flyer for their, well, Crocodile and Mihawk’s new company; Cross guild, hm, it’s got sort of a ring to it.

Buggy finds a few of his men and orders them to design and distribute a flyer for Cross Guild, and tells them to make it look flashy…because if it’s not, Buggy can kiss his life and or freedom goodbye.

Okay, that should keep Crocodile off his ass for a couple of days, right…? It’ll take his men a few days to design a breath taking flyer and then distribute it, and then Crocodile will see that Buggy’s actually a really useful guy after all!

That’s how Buggy thought things would go at least.

Buggy’s most devoted followers make a flyer for Cross Guild in a day and a half, taking pride in the fact that they didn’t stop for a break even once during the process, and the results are: Terrifying. As soon as he sees the poster, Buggy knows that he’s doomed and that what little chance he had at surviving and living a somewhat decent life was gone. It’s not like the flyer is poorly designed…it’s just… Buggy’s face is sort of… for lack of better terms... his men made it so that Buggy was in the center of attention while the other two look like an after thought, and that’s…that’s not what he wanted.

Buggy’s just an errand boy!

As soon as he sees Cross Guild’s debut flyer, Buggy feels violently ill again, like he’s going to throw up his breakfast, and he quickly orders his men to redesign the flyer so that Buggy doesn’t get killed, but they...

“Oh, we already distributed it.”

Okay, don’t panic. Don’t panic, maybe there’s time to fix this..or at least run away before Crocodile and Mihawk see the flyer. Buggy exhales a shaky breath, trying to figure out what he’s going to do about this whole flyer situation. Is...is there any way to just…just, make all the flyers go away? No? It doesn’t work like that?

Fuck.

[Next Part]

[harus-simp]

When you have a stan account dedicated to them

Jiwoong, Keita,Jongwoo,Taerae, Wumuti

Genre: fluff, but a little bit sad on some parts :((

Requested: How about Jongwoo, Jiwoong, Taerae, Keita (and anyone you want to add) reacting to you having a stan twitter account dedicated to them lol? (Anonymous)

Author's note: I think I didn't specify it as a twitter account in some of them,so I hope you're fine with it anon. I added Wumuti because I'm this close to create an account for him I'm not even joking, although it is a little bit sad so beware of it. Hope you like it :)) (Might be a little bit long haha I got carried away 😛)

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The boys know that you've been supporting them for sure watching boys planet and that you've been rooting for them however, they didn't expect you to take your supporting that far.

Jiwoong

☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆

After days and hours of practice and hard work Jiwoong was able to take a breath as the dual position battle had finished. He felt so proud of being able to go to Mcountdown with his team at last,his efforts paying off.

He called you immediately excited to let you know about his week. You picked up really confused to his sudden call, but smiling about his happiness.

You asked him if you could spend a little time with him and go celebrate it to a nearby restaurant, you offering to treat him to which he accepted with a smile on his face, making him look like an idiot talking to his phone.

While waiting for you to arrive he decided to search his name on Twitter to see all the support he had been receiving from his fans. He looked at each one of the posts with such detail and care, as he though of how everyone had dedicated him time, so he opted for doing exactly the same.

While looking carefully at all the letters, messages and pictures, one particular post stood out to him, it was a picture with a short but sweet message attached to it:

-Not only my boy is an awesome actor but he's a really talented rapper, singer and dancer so please vote for him. Jiwoong hwaiting!!!

He found it so endearing and flattering how he was surrounded by amazing people who were willing to make him debut, however what caught his attention was the photo that followed the message.

He found it oddly familiar for some reason but couldn't figure out why, until he finally remembered, that was a photo he hadn't published in his social media, that was indeed a photo he had only sent to you to cheer you up on your exams.

His thoughts were interrupted by you calling his name from afar.

"Jiwoong"you called waving your hand at him.

He smiled fondly and reunited with you to go eat together, interlacing your hands in the process.

"How you doing, baby?"he asked you

"I should be asking you that you winner!"you responded giggling and expecting him to answer.

"Well, it has been a rollercoaster of emotions"

"Oh, I could definitely tell"

You guys continued with your conversation as you were eating,and when you were asking for dessert he confronted you about the post he found suspiciously similar to all you were telling him throughout the lunch, throwing him lots of compliments and sweet words.

Does the account Jiwoong's number one supporter sounds familiar to you?"he asked naturally.

You were taken aback for a moment right there, until you laughed awkwardly saying: "ha.ha.ha no, I don't know what that is"

"Well, that's funny cause I've only sent this photo to you" he said laughing it off and smiling cutely.

*Oh, I forgot about that*you thought to yourself.

He watched as the smiled was washed off from your face, realisation hitting you like a truck.

He awaited for a response as you finally buried your face in your hands, accepting defeat.

"So it really was you" he smiled dedicating you a look were he expressed all his admiration for you while taking your hands in his. "No need to be embarrassed about it love, I find it really cute"

You looked back at him and laughed softly at his antics: "Well it's not like I've told any lies there" you responded.

This only made Jiwoong want to pamper you with kisses till he was satisfied, but instead he sat at your side and hugged you tightly, as the later option was best for you to not be redder than you were, besides you were still in public.

"I'm so thankful y/nnie"he broke the hug and pecked you quickly on your forehead just before the desserts arrived.

Keita

♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡

Being Keita is not an easy job, being that talented is difficult. How can someone be so good at everything? He's good at singing, dancing, rapping, producing his own songs. Lirerally perfection.

You as his girlfriend had always wandered how he could be such a perfect all rounder, but most importantly you always kept thinking how he could be yours.

However, as good as he was (like he excels at everything) he was also human, he struggled, he had his own worries and preoccupations. So when you caught him one day a little lower than usual you decided to listen to him and he decided to open up to you sincerely.

He talked about how Ciipher needed more support and that they weren't going through their best moments, although he sweetened it with other words, saying he wanted another challenge so he decided to audition to boys planet in search of an opportunity to debut.

And of course you supported him, how could you not? He deserved the entire world in your eyes and even more than that.

A few days after passing the auditions for the programme, he was preparing his song with the other japanese trainees "Zero for Conduct" and helping them as well with their korean.

When the practice ended he decided to visit you and rest for a while before going back to the doorms, where he was working with his team mates.

When he got to your house the first thing he did was look for you on the sofa, where he knew you were gonna be for sure watching a movie, a series or just scrolling through your phone, turns out the last option was the correct one.

You were so immersed on whatever you were doing you didn't even felt his presence behind you, making it a perfect opportunity for him to surprise you. He got close from behind with the intention of scaring you, however when he saw you were writing from an account by the name of keita's-simp he couldn't help but forget his plan and say out loud : "What are you doing right there?".

You jumped a little bit and looked back at him hiding your phone under a pillow.

"God damn Keita, don't scare me like that!"you told him back.

"No but seriously, what were you doing?"

"Oh, nothing important really, just watching videos honestly"

"So you are hiding your phone due to...?"he looked at you oddly.

"Due to you scaring the shit out of me?"you answered with an obvious expression.

He shrugged it off and accepted your response, although not very convinced of it.

After spending some time together just talking casually, you excused yourself for a moment to go the restroom. He wanted to take a look at whatever you were doing before, which he considered quite suspicious imo, but he wanted to respect your privacy. However, when he was about to continue with his activities your phone received a notification from that Twitter account,which he had seen previously. His curiosity gaining the best of him made him check out that little message, leading him to an account dedicated completely to him. He began scrolling through the posts revealing all kinds of sweet and short supporting messages.

He smiled revealing his cute little teeth and thinking of thousands of ways to tease his bae, until seeing that some of the posts dated from 2018 approximately. He was still a trainee back there so, he was confused, like really confused.

"Alright I'm ba-"you were saying when you saw him scrolling through your phone on your account.

"Are you looking through my things without my permission Mr Terazono?"you asked furrowing your eyebrows.

"Are you using an account named keita's-simp?"he asked you ironically and with a smug grin.

"Ye-, yes I am"you answered shyly.

"Then why are some posts so old?"

You sighed, knowing you couldn't escape the situation at all : "Well that' because YG TREASURE BOX started by that date".

He couldn't help but smile thinking of all the time you had been rooting for him : "Oh, really?"he raised his eyebrows in a teasing manner.

"Yeah..."

He got closer to you causing you to back off and fall to the sofa, as he then hugged you like a koala being on top of you.

"You don't have any idea of how thankful and blessed I am to have you"he said hiding his face

You just smiled at him and caressed his hair softly, making him fall asleep and not go back to his doorms, and although he was scolded, he didn't regret it in any way.

Jongwoo

☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆

Jongwoo had been struggling on his path through Boys Planet, and although he was fighting for his dreams,he didn't find it as easy as he thought.

At first, he started smoothly with his group having good reviews and feedback from the star masters, which gave him some hope about his future. However, as the revaluation came and his stars dropped he lost some confidence and self-esteem.

Later, the K vs G group battle begun, where he was able to portray a better version of himself. He was even questioned why his star were so low when he had the talent and the ability to do more, that felt great to him, being praised for your hard work was amazing and it made him feel very proud. And it all payed off as his team won and he got the privilege to go to Mcountdown.

Then, the dual position battle arrived and he was pushed from the team he wanted,hurting his pride on the process.He wanted that team so bad and it just slipped through his fingers like it was nothing. Nevertheless, he slayed his performance anyways and could win individually. He felt relieved once again and really joyful. How could he not when his purpose of debuting started to make sense.

That leave us to his next mission, the Artist battle. He worked so hard for his song, Over Me. He suggested choreo, lyrics and lead his team perfectly. So being kicked out of it felt so wrong, it hurted so much, it made him think that he worked for nothing. He wasn't able to fight for what he wanted. When he got to the Switch team, he was really discouraged so he decided to not apply for the killing part.

Right now, he was preparing for a little event with star creators, which somehow gave him the strength to continue and give an amazing performance. However, when the curtain fell there were more than star creators, there were everyone's family and friends. Jongwoo could distinguish his friends from everyone else filling with giddiness and excitement. They were performing before people they cared about, and that was everything that mattered to him.

When he got time to talk to his friends he felt nothing but pure happiness.

"Jongwoo, you are doing great!"commented one of his friends.

"Thank you so much for coming guys, I appreciate it so much"

"Yeah, we've been watching all your performances and all twitter support you"someone said.

"You have lots of fans that support you!"

He was so happy to hear that, no one could imagine.

"Speaking of, there is this particular account that I see literally everywhere, they are really big fans. Look here it is"they said as they showed him.

He looked carefully and realised something, that way of writing was really familiar to him, way too familiar. And then something suddenly clicked, that was his girlfriend's way of speaking right there. How could he be so bland? All this time in the programme and he didn't thought of you once, how could he be so self absorbed?

After that day, in which they discovered it was a evaluation from their relatives and friends, he decided (although not adequate) to sneek from the planet camp and go to your apartment. He might regret it later, but at the moment you were the only thing on his mind.

When he got there, he unlocked the door and saw you preparing some food for you to eat, he felt so lucky to have you in his life. He hugged you from behind, hiding his face on the crook of your neck while you smiled knowing already who was the one that initiated that sign of affection.

"Hey baby, how's everything going on boys planet?"you asked him while still cooking peacefully.

"..."he didn't answered but started kissing your neck softly instead.

"Hehe that tickles"

You stopped smiling once you started to hear a silent whimpering sound.

"Hey Jongwoo, what's wrong?"you asked him as you stopped everything you were doing and turned around to see his face.

"Nothing, it's just-"

"Come on tell me" you encouraged him while whipping off his tears softly.

"It has been really hard, and I've just been so concentrated on winning that I forgot about my own girlfriend's existence, I've just missed you so much but couldn't think of it myself and-"

You silenced him by pressing a soft and sweet kiss on his lips, he corresponded eagerly and once you pulled apart you said to him: "Look, I'm not mad at that, I understand how hard it has been for you and all the hard work you've put in every single performance".

"Yes, but seeing your account has hitted my sensible spot"he said.

"Hahaha, you know I'll always be your number 1 fan. I'm so proud of you for raising so much on the rankings and having so much support from star creators".

"You are amazing, you know that? But jongwoo's-wifey, really?"he teased you.

You blushed at his remark.

"Well, I'm just being a fan, what do you expect?"

He giggled silently and got closer to your ear saying: "Well, if so you must call me your husbie"

"What?"

"Husband"

You turned redder than a tomatoe if that was even possible, getting away from him and hitting his arm playfully.

Did he mean it? We'll never know 👀

Taerae

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It had been a really tiring day for Taerae, practising por Switch was nothing but easy. It was complicated for him as his dancing didn't stood out as the best, but could you ever be mad at it? No, his singing made up for it tho (and the dance is really fast paced, so💀💀💀).

He practiced and practiced and practiced, and practiced once again lead by phanbin,a really detailed person and a perfectionist, but at least being as strict as he was with the dance moves was helping him improve in some way.

All the hours and effort he had put into the performance were starting to make everyone tired, so phanbin decided to let everyone go home and rest for the next day.

When Taerae finally got home, he couldn't help but wanting to take a shower and just sleep for 3 days straight. So that's exactly what he did. He took a cold shower as he had sweated so much and as he was changing to something comfortable you got home being greeted warmly by your boyfriend.

"Hey y/nnie, how was work?"he asked you

"Exhausting actually, how's your practice for the Artist battle going tae?

"I can't wait for you to see it" he smiled brightly at you.

After showering and changing clothes as well, you both decided to just go with a session of cuddles and a movie for you to rest from your respective work and to just enjoy your time with each other.

You put a silly rom com to lighten your moods and basically to have it as background noises as you knew perfectly you would just talk through it.

You were resting your head on taerae's chest as he had his arms wrapped around you securely and protectively, leaving you reassured of nothing bad happening to you.

Right after finishing the movie (it was really bad, like horribly made), you excused yourself to go to the kitchen for a snack, he decided to enter Twitter and see what all star creators were up to. He saw from letters to drawings to threads looking carefully at every post were he was being showered with love and affection from his fans. However, he saw an account that looked familiar,it was his more loyal fan account taerae's-dimples.

He laughed once again at the silly name the person had opted to name the account. However, there was something really heartfelt about the way that the posts were made.

Not only did they complimented his physique and his looks, but they also bragged about their vocals and the way he had improved his dancing, knowing himself he wasn't a perfect dancer he appreciated it a lot.

They talked about how he laughed when he was with Junhyeon, about his adorable and lovely smile, his cute dimples, his amazing personality,how he was loved by lots of star creators, and the list goes on.

He was grateful for all his fans, but something about that particular person, just made him really like them .

So was his admiration for them that he decided to thank them personally (well not like face to face) using wake one's account. He slid through their dm's writing a short but sentimental message to them that could express all his feelings towards them.

He then pressed the send button and smiled satisfied of his little act of service, when suddenly your phone rang with a notification. He actually didn't pay much attention to that til you came back with some pizza and pop corn for you to eat while watching another film you both had chosen.

While eating, you checked your phone and saw Taerae's message:

-Thank you so much dear fan, thank you for always being there for me and supporting me in every way you can. It means so much to me, I'll show you a better version of myself. Hwaiting!!

You chuckled and laughed internally at Taerae, he was so sweet with everyone it made you fell more for him. You turned around and said to him:

"You can't be cuter seriously"

"What?"

"Your way of thanking your fans is adorable"

He looked at you confused as you showed him his message on your account.

He couldn't believe it, all this time and it was you.

"That was you?"

"Yeah"

He started laughing uncontrollably and looked at you with his mouth opened.

"Really,why are you like this?"he asked sighing.

Now you were the confused one: "huh?"

"You were making me fall in love over again, I can't stand you" he said while bringing you to his arms, too embarrassed to let go.

You giggled softly and hugged him back : "I'm just simply too cute"

"You sure are darling"

Wumuti

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The 2nd elimination had finished in boys planet and it was a little bit disappointing for you, a loyal supporter of your boy Wumuti. Placing 34th felt so close yet so far, feeling sad about it and can't help but worring of his current state as well, if it was hard for you to watch you couldn't imagine how hard was for him to experience.

There were a mix of emotions on the pit of your stomach, sadness, anger,pity, empathy, to name but a few.

You knew he wanted this so bad and seeing all his efforts on the Switch team being gripped out of him felt so wrong. Hearing him say he couldn't see the performance if he wasn't there was tough as well and you felt so bad for him.

However, this was not the end, you knew it perfectly. Now he had lots of more fans who supported him making you feel like all your promoting didn't go to waste. Yes, you did have an account dedicated to him, how else would you help him be voted by star creators? Your main purpose was to help him raise in rankings, but the most important was to be there for him as his number 1 fan and help him be happy chasing after his dreams.

Right after this, you decided to not be discouraged and still ask people to support him everywhere he went and with everything he did.

You suddenly heard the bell ringing, making you leave your phone immediately and run to the door suspecting who was gonna be at your door. When you opened it your guesses were right, it was Wumuti himself waiting for you to let him inside. He was standing there with a serious expression that changed when you opened the door to the biggest grin you had ever seen in your entire life.

"Babyyyy, I've missed you so muchhhh"he said hugging you tightly, a hug that expressed perfectly all his emotions.

You hugged him with the same passion throwing yourself at him in order to not have any space left between both of you.

"I've missed you moreeee, let's go inside first"you insisted.

As you entered your apartment you gave him a sweet kiss which he gladly accepted smiling right into it.

"I can't believe they've eliminated you when I've been working my ass off to promote you, people are blind I swear to God!"you finally let out your irritated state.

"Promote me?"he asked, confusion being present in his features.

"Yes,I think I've never used Twitter so much in my entire life, I have probably used it more in 2 months than ever"you showed him your phone with your account.

"Wumuti-ti-ti's-girl? Do you have an account for me?"he asked shocked, he really wasn't expecting that.

"Of course, what did you expect from me?

In that moment he felt the luckiest person on earth, wondering how could he deserve you and all your love for him.

He felt so overwhelmed by it tears started to fall from his eyes, we don't know if they were from sadness from being eliminated or from happiness from having you on his side or from both of them.

When you saw him like that you absolutely panicked at first, but you snapped out of it and brought him to your arms carresing his hair softly.

"Shhh it's okay baby, just take your time"

Instead of hugging you back he just (gonna die) let you comfort him telling him sweet words filled with truth on them.

When he finally stopped crying he separated his face from your shoulder and made eye contact with you dedicating you a soft smile that melted you.

"You mean so much to me you don't have any idea, I don't know what I'd do without you"he said sincerely.

"Well, you probably wouldn't do much"you said teasing him.

"Probably"

"But, I love you like that"you told him kissing his cheek.

"I love you too"

"Now let's talk why certain people don't deserve to be there as much as you do"

"Babe, no-"

"No yes, I will fight Mnet and some star creators I swear it".

°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°◇°

[miriatwstuff]

TWST ask game! 10. Top five favorite characters?

(Gosh tumblr really need to update their notification settings because I didn't even realize there was an ask in my inbox 😭 Tysm for sending me asks tho 💕 and prepare to see me yapping)

Disclaimer I don't exactly hate any characters (aside from [REDACTED for JP spoilers]), but these dudes just top my list.

MY TOP FIVE FAVORITE ✨️

(put under read more because damn I didn't think it would be this long)

1. Lilia Vanrouge

Ok he is kinda a wild card even for me because much as I love parental-like cough cough fatherly and motherly characters, I am more inclined to serious-but-secretly-soft ones. But Lilia was totally not like that. He's an old man who is more, for lack of better words, modern and up-to-date with the trends compared to his children. He's careless and might even come off as irresponsible or annoying at times, but he's also a bundle of joy and he's so so so soft-hearted and caring and full of love (despite how he thinks). And I love the enigma that is Lilia Vanrouge and I love even when his pasts and secrets are revealed, love the resilience he has shown, love how he has grown and at the same time how much his heart stays loving regardless of the hell he's been through. He is not without his flaws but I love him all the same, broken and imperfect and alike 💓

(gosh this was not intended to be a confession of love but you know, Lilia deserves that <3 gonna shoot him my love beam if it convinces him he deserves love too <3)

side note I really need to spare some time to share the dorm Lilia analysis I found on lofter... silently pray for OP to give me permission to translate 🙏

2. Vil Schoenheit

Gotta admit, idk if I love Vil or if I want to be him lol. Peak case of gender envy. But yes, among the main cast, his appearance is definitely the one that I love the most. I was quite reserved when it came to opinions regarding him out of fear he would be just a shallow self-absorbed guy who only cares about his looks, and I was so freaking GLAD that I was wrong. Vil is probably one of the most hardworking fictional characters I know (or maybe I don't know that many) especially considering how privileged he is, even when his goal is not as common as you would see (to be the fairest). One would easily mistake his goal for a surface-level physical attractiveness, but he aims to achieve inner and outer beauty, which, yes, includes health and nutritrion and diet and P.E. etc. as well as the grace of the character (though his personality leaves much to be desired lol, but that's another part of his charm: never bend to appease others).

What seals the deal, tho, is how he looks after other people, especially his underclassmen. Did I mention I love fatherly/motherly characters? And he isssss. His approach is rough (tough love in capital letter), but he is meticulous and he cares so much he even take notes of how his dorm students can best improve themselves. That kind of knowledge and dedication normally do not come for free and here he is, sparing the little free time of his just to see his potatoes blossom. Gosh I am weak for those like that.

(not twst related but lol I love the way he is like Lucifer from Obey Me, which is another fav of mine. Despite having completely different goals in life their approach is similar, and so is the way they handle those under their tutelage lol)

3. Trey Clover

iirc Trey isn't exactly popular with the global fanbase, but he IS extremely well-liked in the Japanese one, particularly because of how domestic he is, and I can see their point. Much as I love Lilia and Vil, if I have to pick someone to get married to, Trey will definitely top the list because I do value the normacy of an ordinary person. Besides, he takes care of others (oh no another fatherly/motherly figure), he's sensitive to others' feelings, he wants to keep peace and ensures a normal life, and he bakes delicious treats! What's more to ask for?

(He also keeps up with others' dental health and damn how can I disappoint him am I right 👀)

(No wdym he's secretly unhinged as well that's just his little quirkiness <3)

4. Leona Kingscholar

He's lowkey depressed so relatable points for him /hj. And the rizz from Scar incarnate definitely helps.

Yeah yeah I can list out what is WRONG with him and it can take all day but at the same time, he takes care of his dormmates 🥺 Did I mention I'm weak for characters who embody the task of a caretaker? like every 2 sentences You know, he did all of the things in book 2 (which is a dumb plan btw) just to secure a better future for his dorm students? Because they look up to him and rely on him and for the first time in forever he feels like he could try to mount for something? Because his career is dead-end but his Savanaclaw underclassmen's are not.

(I don't forgive him for the thing he did to Ruggie tho, so sleep with one eye open Leona :<)

That aside, him being one of the few who got a good grasp of other people definitely adds because I do love a perceptive character. The entire therapy session with him and Jamil is so refreshing and the undertone humor certainly sold it for me.

5. Silver

At first I was debating putting Idia up here (because third-years bonus points and I generally look at third-years more than the younger students), but then I saw Silver and I was like, sorry dude better luck next time.

We didn't get to know Silver (or Diasomnia as a whole) much prior to book 7, but what we get from the main story so far is an entire feast. His backstory, his origin, his relationship with the rest of the Diasomnia (especially with Lilia), the way he held back his tears just to cry in front of Malleus, the way despite his love and loyalty he had to stand up against his liege, everything we know about him just straight up adds to the list of reasons why I love him.

Do I even need to add his Disney princess charm and how every animal love him lol?

But yes, it is so easy just to make him yet another two-dimensional goody-two-shoes, but Yana just ate and left no crumbs made his plotline one of the most compelling in the game, and I look forward to seeing him shine in the upcoming updates.

And baby please don't cry anymore, my heart shatters along with your tears 😭😭😭

[i-sveikata]

Hiiii!

I just wanted to tell you that I LOVED this chapter. It was so long, it took me half a day to read and I loved it all the way! I love to dedicate one peaceful day to read it all without rushing so I'm glad I had free time!! I can't even believe you had even more previously written. And I can't help but think you have generously left in the fingering scene just at the end of the chapter! Thank you so much, we have been waiting for so long and it was worth it!! Good for Pete too lol.

It's insane how these sex scenes feel more intimate and intense than before. I loved all these honest conversations in the car. They needed it just as we did.

And Vegas just wanted to cuddle 😭😭😭 Omg this poor little meow meow wants cuddles and doesn't know how to communicate his needs! Poor baby, he is so confused with all these emotions. And Pete just hugged him and made him feel safe 😭 I can't, this was so goooood and sad at the same time. They really leveled up their relationship in these few hours, I'm so happy for them!! I love how Pete learned how to comfort Vegas and this is so important for the next possible hardships with Russians or the main family. Pete putting his hand on Vegas's neck👌

I honestly would love for them to create more trust and understanding. It would make them more powerful for the future.

Another thing is I really liked the description of the hotel. Honestly would love to be there myself 😅 Did you took some specific references for this hotel?

I will write again when I will reread the chapter and have more thoughts 😅

Thank you so much for this one! It was a delight and I'm so glad you keep going after all this time. Your skills and dedication are excellent! ❤️

Oh thank you so much!!!! That makes me so happy 💛 ahh that sounds so nice to just dedicate your time for a peaceful read what a vibe! Yeah omg me severely underestimating how much I’d written was actually so so funny. But added plus now heaps of the next chapter is already written (and the wait will be nowhere near as long as the last break)

Ngl I absolutely made sure the fingering stayed in this chap hahaha because I know I’d teased a few things that I didn’t even up giving you all!! So mean lmao (and totally not intentional seriously my bad there) yes the intimacy between them is most definitely deepening!! They are descending very quickly into a full partnership with each other which was what a lot of those conversations in the car helped represent (and clear up any of the uncertainties that either of them had)

Yesss Vegas reaching out to him because he had an emotional need that wasn’t being fulfilled is a HUGE step for him especially because Pete was able to sift through his self destructive nonsense to figure out what he was trying to do. Yeah for sure they’re developing further as a couple in a lot of interesting ways that we haven’t seen yet it’s so fun to watch it unfold!!

Yes they’ve had a bit of a setback from the coup trust wise but Pete knows Vegas wants to fix things and prove that he won’t abandon Pete like that again and I think Pete also learned a pretty important lesson about assuming that he always has control (even if most of the time that control is willingly given by Vegas) but yes when they work through that it will definitely make them stronger in future!

Omg lol the hotel is REAL. I just googled 5 star hotels and picked a place based off vibes, then I went though all of the pictures on like TripAdvisor lmao author research dedication for real 😂

Oh totally fine we love more thoughts!! Thank you so much for saying so you’re really sweet and I super appreciate it!!

[banterspam]

[summary, i go on a long nerdy ass delusion filled manhunt for a sick ass bart allen impulse figure and win]

Okay so basically I got my first paycheck from my job and i was looking to treat myself to something cool and was scouring for sick dc stuff. Lately I've been into figurines and shit so I've been looking at them on google and ebay.

I was originally thinking about getting a robin figure and I kinda went down a rabbit hole and learned about porcelain figures which are super freaking cool but anyways I saw that there was a young-just-us set (robin, superboy, bart) and as i was freaking out over the set

I went, oh my god i want a bart figure so bad--and so i went on the man hunt for the coolest impulse figure!

This one's really cool so I was planning to get it

until

BART????? HES SO COOL HERE HOLY CRAP

the website this figure was placed on had the words 'Bart Allen 2000s action figurine, $13.99' so of course i clicked on it because omigosh i need it. Yea so anyways that website was blank and i felt my digital information being drained out of my soul so i closed that out.

But damn that figure is so freaking cool.

and thus i went on a manhunt, screaming, kicking, throwing hands!

Ngl I was actually going insane becauuuuse, this was the only image i could find ANYWHERE (i was praying it wasn't a custom for dear life. hint: it was!)

I almost gave up until i realized i was stupid and there literally was the creators watermark all over the image LMFAO (ironcowprod.com)

So i open the page and go through alllll of his figurine images

let me note that I have become fully aware that I could definitely not buy this bart BUT i just really wanted a sign that the figurine i've been going crazy over exists

so basically im scrolling an scrolling and scrolling annnnnd

Nada. No sign of life at all.

Okay maybe me being heartbroken sounds like an overstatement BUT I REALLY WAS OKAY!

Impulse kinda has a cult following; most people know this character but aside from a few dedicated fans there really isn't any merch specific to him (which upsets me because i love to blow aggregious amounts of money on characters i love lol), so I was really excited to see such a cool figure for him that someone poured love into!

After going through all of ironcow's figurine sections i decided to give up on my search, but, I made one final last ditch effort.

Half heartedly i typed, "ironcow impulse"

Clicked search and HOLY SHIT I FOUND IT WHATTHEFU

I swear in this moment the world gave me a high five.

The figure was created on March 18th, 2000, and it was awesome.

GOSH HES SUCH A COOL GUY

I was super excited just seeing the figure, just admiring it ya'know?

Then i read the description

Oh okay so he didn't make it from scratch and used another as a model haha cool

but what are the chances that base model from the literal year 2000 is still around haha

what.

WHAT.

so guess who has experience: painting figurines, using magic sculpt, and sanding down weird shit for funsies.

Anyways theres a figure in my cart and im ready to paint :]

(Thanks anyone who read through all of this LOL, the figure im making will be heavily based off of iron-cow production's and they are super freaking cool like seriously their work is just inspiration heaven so please please for your sake check out their page it's awesome!)

[bragganhyl]

i saw someone post about how aloth doesn't actually love a romanced watcher and it upset me to the point i don't really enjoy their romance anymore. i know that's so silly but he was a comfort character and it was just an opinion but yeah. can you explain that he actually does, to try and get me out of this funk? you seem to understand his character very well.

Oh wow, this is... quite the ask. Let me just say this right out of the gate: I don't know if I could tell you anything that would work better than replaying the games and reminding yourself why he was a comfort character to you in the first place. Also I haven't seen the post so I can't exactly refute what was said there but... yeah this is kind of a baffling take to have to me at least.

The thing about Aloth's romance is that it's treated not so much as a route but more like a potential end point for the Watcher/Aloth dynamic that started as early as pillars 1. So if you try to view their story from the vantage point of the romance alone then you might find it - and him lacking.

But anyway here is a long ramble about Aloth and the Watcher that kind of aims to recap/break down their relationship that also won't tell you anything new and low-key goes into cringe territory haha lol bye but okay here you go

Aloth, however, is far more complex character than to try and understand him from that perspective. He is a character who strives for perfection bc any flaw was punished severely and painfully. He is a character who prioritizes duty and devotion above all else bc that is how arcane knights are taught to think (this is a call to read Until He Started Screaming lmao). He is a character whose name belonged to the gods, his hand to their service, who sought the company of shadows so that his labors may remain secret and whose purpose you'll know by the confession of his tongue, the deeds of his hands, and the oath of his soul, bc that's what's expected of the members of the Leaden Key. And that doesn't even touch on the secrecy he had to upkeep for 50 years in order to hide his Awakening.

So it's safe to say that by the time you meet Aloth in Gilded Vale, he is not someone who thinks he can have anything for himself or someone who has the freedom to choose to live openly and for himself. And yet in pillars 1 at every turn, he'll choose the Watcher. He takes steps out of his comfort zone when he opens up about Iselmyr. He's ready to fight the Leaden Key to keep them (and Kana) safe. And even when he finally admits that he hoped the Watcher would cure him of his Awakening, he takes it upon himself to sort it out by himself instead. By the Watcher's side, Aloth develops his own sense of autonomy. You could even say that the Watcher was the light to lead him out of the shadows. But Aloth is also someone who recognizes the dangers of making one such person an anchor. He says so himself in deadfire when he talks about why he left (I mean aside from going to hunt the LK) at the end of pillars 1 - he couldn't allow the Watcher to become another authority figure to him like Thaos or his father was. He needed time away to figure out what life he wanted to have or what he wanted to do with the freedom he found with the Watcher.

But he still dedicates his life to the LK (although he hunts them now or at least he does in the route I prefer to take), he still lives an isolated and secretive life - until he meets the Watcher again. And then he chooses the Watcher again. And much of the deadfire dynamic between Aloth and the Watcher points to Aloth treating the Watcher as a role model and being blinded to their struggles by their own admiration for them. But like... that gets resolved at Ukaizo: the end of that arc is Aloth realizing the sheer magnitude of what is expected of the Watcher and he pities them for it. Sure, I personally would have liked it if that point was reached earlier, but it's a sensible character flaw to give him at this point, especially considering all that they've been through. And the romance itself is pretty low-key and short which makes sense after all that Aloth has been through. Bc just take note of how he reacts to the Watcher kissing him - he holds them as if he was worried he'd break them. That is not someone who wants to keep his distance bc he doesn't love their partner, but someone who really doesn't want to mess things up with them. And he warns the Watcher that he might not be 100% open with them, that he won't be able to give them 100% of their time. And you might think that he's unreasonable to treat simple boundaries as deal breakers, but remember that this was what was expected of him for the majority of his life. Duty and devotion. His name belonged to the gods, his hands to their service. A part of him expected a demand to give all of himself when he was still learning how to be his own man - and when he was still duty-bound to hunt (or lead) the LK. That is what he means when he says that he can't make a commitment he can't honor and that is why it is such a relief to him when the Watcher offers to take every day for what it is. He wants a relationship that is happy and healthy but he recognizes that while he has healed somewhat, he still has a long way to go, and he's worried he might not be able to make such a relationship happen - especially with the person who gave him a sense of belonging that his family never could *cough*wealthyaunt*cough*.

And even in the ending where he leaves, you get the sense that he's doing it out of - you guessed it - duty and devotion. Duty, well that's a given. Devotion... I mean what better way to show your love than fighting for the world that your beloved wants to create? And as for the ending where he stays... well... once again, he finds himself to do whatever he wants and he chooses to stay with the Watcher even as they become the one rebuild the world after Eothas kickstarted the apocalypse. So yeah, idk what else I could say, Anon, as far as I'm concerned, Aloth is filled to the brim with love for the Watcher, but he's also someone who is too self-aware and nervous to really wear that love on his sleeve, but you can be sure that it's there and it's unwavering.