#oh also the worms are made of literal ice

[rilianeshairclip]

Abby probably ate worms when she was a kid

[serqphites]

hiiii katie!! i’ve been in a massive longlegs phase (mostly bc of lee let’s be honest) and your blog has been a GODSEND 🤍 i’ve been thinking of writing a lee fic for a while but i had a lil idea that i wanted to send your way 🤭

i cannot get over the idea of wife!lee with r on a beach trip—especially if her wife fucking loooves it. she’s not a huge fan of going to the beach (her autistic ass does not fuck with sand) but she’ll go every couple of years bc ofc she’s going to deal with it for her woman!!!!! she’d sit on the beach watching r letting herself get absolutely DEMOLISHED by waves and she thinks it’s cutie af. she will (VERY reluctantly) get in the water once her twice but if something touches her leg? she’s screaming like he arm is getting chopped off she would HATE THATTT.

lol that’s all!! i just love ur blog and i would love to see u expand on this because ur like The Lee Harker Blog Ever for me :) much love 🤍🤍

— gracie

hello gracie !! oh my god PLEASE write a lee fic i will reblog it until the day that i die. also so honoured you wanted to send this my way hello?? i could cry 🫶 AND THEN YOU ALSO SAID IM THE LEE HARKER BLOG FOR YOU?? sobbing throwing up rolling around on the floor literally deceased

—✦—✦—✦—✦—✦—✦—✦—✦—✦—✦—✦—✦—✦—✦—✦—✦—

lee fucking HATESSSS the beach (girl me too) her autistic ass can’t handle it. the sand sticking to her? AHHHHH. the water that’s freezing and lowkey stinks? FUCKKKKK. yeah no this really isn’t for her.

except for the fact it now is because her wife loves it arguably more than she loves her!!

god i can just picture it now, you’re walking onto the beach so fucking happy to finally be back after not going for ages (lee cried and locked herself inside the house the last time you tried to go), and then there’s lee… 🧍‍♀️ girly is just stood on the pathway that leads up to the sand, your bags and folded up towels in hand as she refuses to take just one little step forward onto the sand.

you have to push her to the spot you’d like your towels placed

lee sits on her towel and doesn’t move, she won’t even uncross her legs. she’s just sat awkwardly leaning over the towel so she can make you a sandcastle <3 she’s using various children’s tools she’d ordered from amazon to build, picking up the shells around her to turn them into decoration.

she’s so proud of herself when you come back from the water for a drink 😭 “honey! look what i made you” and she’s all shyyyy

also lee is 100% the kind of person to write your initials in a heart in the sand, and not small too she wants it to be seen by everyone, just so they all get the message (aka “stop staring at my wife’s ass you pervs”).

ice creams on the beach!!! lee is so mad at the wasps swarming her LMAOOO you’re actually petrified so you’ve moved, poor lee is trying to be brave and impress you but if they get too close she drops her act to scream like a child.

after hours of trying to convince her to get into the water, she finally agrees! you lead her to the water (despite her purposefully moving slower than a sloth) and let go of her hand to make your way in, assuming she’d follow.

🧍‍♀️”i don’t want to :/”

SHES SO CUTE I CANT IM LITERALLY ABT TO CRY JUST THINKING ABT HER

“come on baby you can do it! it’s just water!” you attempt to encourage her, and surprisingly it works. lee veryyy slowly starts inching her way towards the water, a wave crashing into her ankle just as she does so. she makes various weird noises, you know when you eat something that feels like it’s just come straight out of a volcano? it sounds something like that.

but hey she’s doing it! she’s walking towards you with a big smile on her face, your expression mirroring her own. that is until lee feels something slimy wrapping around her leg, imagine the scream she lets out when she glances down to discover there’s a green alien trying to worm its way inside of her (there’s seaweed on her leg).

my girl runs for the hills. screaming like she’s being tortured before dropping onto the sand and swatting her attacker away (which is again, seaweed).

you make your way over to her in an instant, removing the seaweed from her leg as you stifle a laugh. the woman, your wife, now caked head to toe in sand… even the poor girls eyelashes have sand in them.

“can we go home please?” poor baby :(

once you’ve returned to the comfort of your own home, lee gets the most cuddles she’s ever gotten from you in her life. despite her silliness (not silliness, she was very viciously attacked by aliens) you’re still so incredibly proud of her for facing her fears and going on a fun little adventure with you.

[tommyssupercoolblog]

THE SHOW WAS AMAZING OMGGGGGG RAAAUGHGJFHFHFH GOES FERAL AND GNAWS ON MY COMPUTER

ALSO I MADE NEW MUTIALS HI NEW MUTUALS!!!! HEWWO!!!! BAPS YOU WITH MY PAWS

Spoilers under the cut

H-o-t-t-o-g-o, you can take me HOT to goooo

TWINKS ON ICE and "camera flash can be distracting, Phil will fall of the stage and die" absolutely SLAYED me

Dan accidentally said "Dan and pheal" instead of Dan and Phil and they both stopped to pretend to hold the pheal. Dan said that would be a better show than this.

SISTER DANIEL SLAYED

I don't know if this happens at EVERY show but in ours, the audience chose to kill the original Dan and Phil every time

Dan has illegalized ted Cruz but then got arrested for being British. Dr Phil loves helping old ladies cum and his favorite word is skibidi. I don't remember the third facts for either

Even though it wasn't picked, a whole bunch of people around us (and us) started chanting "FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK" when they asked what Dr. Phil's favorite word would be. Later we chanted "TOUR BUS" but that one worked!!!!

One of the audience confessions was that someone likes to "mark their territory" (yes. In the gross way) to know what it's like so sister Daniel called them a bad kitty and they sprayed the audience with water. Also Phil called out that some people had their MOUTHS OPEN while they were being sprayed.

The other audience confessions were that someone wrote "Phantrash(insert some numbers I can't remember)" on a wall in invisible ink and then MOVED OUT OF THW HOUSE AND LEFT IT THERE??? And then a confession that just said "someone in the audience thinks you sound like owls" which they both were confused by at first, but then Dan's face like. LIT UP in recognition and he repeated the question to Phil and Phil said "Who?" And Dan LOST IT and made fun of him. LMAO

They explained their first experience at a bucces. And THEN later phil said that his new favorite nuts are bucces nuts (as revealed later when they were asked by the audience to discuss nuts). Also they hate peanuts and think no one likes them unless they're paid to by "big peanut". And they both like "hot nuts" and Dan likes them salted and Phil likes them sweetened/candied. And yes they made sex jokes about it and also Dan said that Phil's favorite nuts were actually HIS NUTS

Phil having the phitties to the wind was not what I expected

I. Could have SWORN that there was an ...."uninvited guest" in the 🍑 part of the wresting match but no one's posted about it even though the whole theatre was like "AUGH!!" And they cut away and I turned to everyone next to us and was like "!!!! Uh oh was that REAL?? Um-" so. Maybe we were wrong. But I was about to be like "DANIEL HOWELL I AM SO SORRY I HOPE YOUR THERAPIST IS SO GOOD BECAUSE I PERSONALLY WOULD DIE"

Dan wore a cowboy hat during the musical number

I NEED THAT SONG IN MY PLAYLIST AND THAT DANCE MEMORIZED

I MISSED THE FUCKING PHOTO OPP BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T GIVE ME ENOUGH WARNINF TO UNLOCK MY PHONEEEE evil. Evil of them. Dan and Phil you betrayed me personally. Evil. I DID however get them walking aways

I bought the Dan and Phil made me gay shirt

Unrelated to the show itself but someone was handing out worms, and there were SO many sister Daniel cosplayers, and I happened to sit literally right in front of two other systems so it was like. Halfway through the show we realized that's what was happening and it was like HEWWO???? WOAH. Also this was my first time in Austin and guys... guys some sections of these roads are fucking perpendicular. I saw multiple people with mobility aids and like I HAVE ZERO AIDS AND IT HURT TO WALK ARE Y'ALL GOATS??? ARE YOU JUST NOT ABLE TO WALK OUTSIDE AT ALL AND HAVE TO TAKE CARS??? The whole fucking city is a series of V shapes with buildings on it. Girl why do your streets go straight up into the sky are you trying to drive up to jesus. Liked the rentable scooters tho

[britcision]

Guys I dunno how to tell you this this is my favourite fucking chapter so far and before this one the last one was

I know it looks like we’re getting distracted and side tracked off on tangents but I’m having the time of my fucking life and more than half of my favourite bits weren’t in the plan

(We’re still on track and makin’ our way but oh boy the funniest things are all accidents)

AO3 link is as ever still on the first couple of chapters!

First:

Previous:

———————

That’s Not A Twink That’s An Anime Girl

They did eventually have to let Dick out of his snow drifts.

As a former circus acrobat, Dick had the best excuse of all of them to use his vigilante training in public; he’d wormed out of Jason’s grasp, flipped over Duke and made a run for it.

Unfortunately for him, gravity was actually literally optional for Danny, and Danny didn’t even have a superhero identity to protect in Gotham.

He could turn a lot more easily on the slick ice and snow to give chase, a little flight added when friction failed him. On his own, Danny would have probably had to actually fly to take Dick down.

Of course, odds of eight-to-one would weigh on any man. Not a single member of the group wasn’t thoroughly soaked by the hour’s end, sweat under clothes and snow clinging over them.

The journey up to Wayne Manor ended up being done in chunks as the sun began to sink and the cold set in for their more human friends.

Jason, Danny, Duke, and Tim had to go back to the mall to retrieve motorbikes.

(Technically Danny didn’t actually need to, but what he did need was an excuse to get Jason alone for a minute, and he’d put up with snickering from Sam and Tuck to do it.)

Steph, Cass, Damian, Sam, and Tucker called for a cab rather than pack themselves into Dick’s now snow filled car, and their numbers were excuse enough for Danny to slip away.

Which is when Tucker realised he could have probably hitched a ride on Tim’s bike, and spent the whole journey hugging Tim Drake-Wayne.

Buuuuut it’d also mean riding a motorcycle through slushy snow. The dilemma on his face made Danny grin all the way back to the mall, despite the damp now clinging to his clothes.

Sure, the car might reach the manor first and they’d get warm and dry, but that just meant Tucker’d miss out on more Tim Time.

The snowball fight had clearly done Tim good too, he was much more energised as they walked back to the mall, complaining to Danny and the others about Amity Park’s underhanded tactics.

Danny sure as fuck wasn’t going to apologise, but he did have a much more important question: how the fuck did Jason do that landshark-disappearing-into-snow bullshit?

Which… well, was also a chance to fuck with Tim and Duke.

“Seriously Jay, I can go intangible but that snow trick was bullshit,” Danny complained with a wicked glee in his heart, reflected in Jason’s grin.

Tim nearly tripped over his own feet. Duke caught him, his own eyes wide.

“You can what?!” Tim asked in a slightly strangled voice, and Danny gave him his most innocent smile.

“Oh, has Dick not told you? Yeah, it’s one of my things, from the generic end of the list,” he explained casually, turning his arm intangible and phasing it through Jason.

Who made a face.

“Okay but why does it feel like that left a residue?” The larger man complained, scrubbing at his shirt.

Which. Danny paused, frowning down at his hand. Stuck it through his own chest experimentally.

“Y’know, I didn’t know it did that… not like I go through myself often, but I can definitely feel it,” he agreed, sticking his tongue out as he wiggled his hand around, then drew it back.

Duke and Tim looked fascinated and nauseated respectively. Danny gave them both a cheerful shrug and kept walking.

“It’s probably my pit water,” he theorised, and Jason groaned loudly.

“Danny, did you just fucking mix our forbidden smoothies?” He complained loudly, and Duke damn near choked himself on a strangled laugh.

Danny fully had to stop and turn to stare at Jason, delighted awe on his face.

“Oh, I’m calling it that forever. That’s my new favourite thing. Skulker is going to shit his entire liver when he hears “forbidden smoothie”,” he decided gleefully.

Jason smirked and bumped shoulders as he passed, forcing the others to keep moving to keep up. Duke almost jogged to lean around Jason and give Danny a curious look.

“Who’s Skulker?” He asked innocently and Danny grinned at him.

“Oh, one of my rogues. He likes to talk a big game but he’s pretty easy to deal with. All bark, no bite,” Danny explained cheerfully.

Honestly he was a little surprised Skulker hadn’t shown up in Gotham to bother him yet. He must have been having a hard time finding a portal, because it’s not like he’d stop.

Tim and Duke did seem a little reassured by his casual dismissal, but still concerned. Jason cut them off before they could ask anything that might be useful.

Yeah, Jason was kinda Danny’s favourite.

“So how the fuck do I get your smoothie out of my jug?” He asked with an overly disgusted face. Danny fought not to laugh.

“You are so asking the wrong person dude, I didn’t know it happened until just now,” he pointed out and Jason rolled his eyes.

“I’m taking at least six showers when we get to the manor,” Jason grumbled melodramatically, and Danny laughed aloud.

Then paused.

“Wait, how many bathrooms are there? Can we all shower?” He asked Tim and Duke.

Neither of whom looked ready to admit they didn’t know what was going on. Fuck Jason knew his family well.

Duke shrugged, the mall finally coming into sight, and diverted towards the underground parking.

“Well, there’s enough for one each. And Alfred could do laundry for you so you can change right after if you take a long one,” he offered, glancing down at his own now damp clothes.

Best part of a snowball fight: changing back into something warm and dry.

Danny snickered, plucking at Jason’s oversized sweater.

“The way you assume I’m wearing a single thing that I actually own is adorable,” he told the younger man sincerely, grinning as his cheeks heated.

Sure, it was more subtle on dark skin than Danny’s light tan, but he’d been friends with Tucker since he could walk. He knew exactly what to look for.

Was not quite ready for it to be combined with a sly grin right back.

“What, nothing of yours?” He asked suggestively and Tim laughed, quickly catching on.

“Did Jason give you everything?” He asked teasingly, both younger Wayne wards now grinning at their older brother.

Jason’s little pink blush was definitely still Danny’s favourite. He grinned right back, refusing to follow them to a place that didn’t exist.

“Some of it’s probably yours,” he told Tim blithely, tugging at his sweatpants. Which, as predicted, immediately changed Tim’s expression to annoyance.

“Why is everyone wearing my pants today?” Tim grumbled, and Danny’s grin widened.

“They looked a little tight on Tucker if you wanted to help him take them off,” Danny teased and Tim levelled a dry stare at him.

“I do have a boyfriend,” he pointed out coolly, like that was gonna stop turnabout from being fair play.

“Ask him to come help then,” Jason cut in, ruffling Tim’s hair, “you know Connor’s always welcome for dinner.”

For a long moment Tim’s expression froze, clearly actually considering the suggestion. Then he shook his head, sighing and calling the elevator.

“Probably not today. What floor do you guys need?” He asked as the doors slid open, stepping inside.

Quiet day at the mall. Probably the fucking cold, combined with hangovers from the new year.

And as much as Danny was thirsting to ask about that, he also very much needed Jason alone before they got on the road. Hopefully they weren’t on the same level.

“Two,” Jason said, and Tim nodded, hit two and then four. Looked to Duke. Who grinned.

“Three. Sorry Tim, you’re taking the scenic route.”

And for once the universe worked in Danny’s favour. Something fucked would probably happen soon to compensate.

He and Jason left the elevator together, waited til the doors slid back shut, and then headed off towards the bike. Danny didn’t make him ask.

“She’s definitely liminal. Not like, bad? Honestly she wouldn’t even register back in Amity Park. Damian’s is a bit worse, but he’s younger, it happens. Ecto energy likes kids,” he explained when Jason made an inquisitive noise.

He definitely wasn’t bitter or anything. He’d been just young enough to take it in like a magnet.

His parents probably wouldn’t have survived the same accident.

“It’s kinda the only thing horror movies get right. Ectoplasm can form from emotional energy, and little kids, they feel everything that much more. Tapers off when you get older, so Damian’s still a magnet. Cass is stable.”

He kinda wished he had better news, but honestly? After a dunk in the kind of rancid ectoplasm Jason described, Danny was taking it as a win that neither of the others were haunted.

Jason nodded gruffly, pausing beside his bike to pull his helmet back on. Not that it’d stop Danny from reading his mood; his aura pulsed stress-stress-stress-worry like a beacon.

Danny stepped closer, resting a hand on Jason’s shoulder, stilling the movement.

“They’ll both almost definitely become ghosts if they die again,” he explained softly, voice low enough to pass unheard in the echoing space, “but they’ll be fine. Think of it like insurance; you’re never going to lose them.”

Jason snorted, the sound distorting strangely through the helmet, but didn’t pull away.

“Is that what you tell yourself about Sam and Tucker?” He asked, trying to sound derisive but there was a tinge of hope there now.

Danny gave him a gentle wave of sorry-sorry-comfort back.

“Yeah.”

**

Back in the elevator, Tim looked at Duke expectantly. Who sighed.

“I am not a fuckin’ pokedex, Tim,” he reminded the older boy with a roll of his eyes. Which his brother totally ignored, still waiting.

Tim could fucking stare like nobody’s business.

The elevator chimed again and Duke stepped out, not the least surprised when Tim followed.

“I dunno. I thought I almost caught something in the park, but it was just a blur. Tucker and Sam both have more of an aura than Danny, but Danny’s clearly something. I just dunno if it’s a meta gene,” he explained reluctantly, and Tim nodded, already adding the information to his wrist computer.

Which he wasn’t supposed to wear out of costume.

Duke wasn’t gonna tell; he’d be a damn hypocrite if he did, he wore his Signal boots with the bike half the time. They were just much more responsive than normal boots.

“What makes you say that?” Tim asked, still typing away. It’d save Duke from having to add it all to his report, so it kinda counted as a favour.

Duke shrugged, still trying to narrow down the feeling.

“Honestly? Most people with the same meta gene fuck up a little the first time they show off around me. It’s the x-metals; I boost them, whatever they’re doing goes too hard.” Tim’d been the one to help him work that out, but it would all go in the report.

Tim nodded, gesturing for him to continue and Duke sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“Danny… didn’t. Unless that’s the residue they were both talking about, and if the fucking Lazarus Pits can cause intangibility we have got to warn Bruce. But that’s not the only thing,” he added quickly, before Tim could speak.

The older boy quieted obediently, but Duke could see he had his thinking face on. Putting pieces together, all those wheels turning as one.

That was practically a fuckin’ meta ability, and it wasn’t like Tim got a boost from him either. Maybe Duke needed to do some more experimenting.

“Most metas, even the nonhuman ones, have at least some aura. Some of them can hide it, but I can get a feel for their powers from it. Danny… I dunno. I can almost feel something, but I can’t see it.”

That was the thing that unsettled Duke the most, honestly. Almost all of his powers were purely light based; seeing what other people couldn’t. Even his shadow manipulation still worked around light.

It was fucking weird for there to be anything he couldn’t see, and he could go way beyond the visible spectrum. Whatever Danny emitted, it went beyond even that.

For a guy who could even see a little into the future, it was weird.

And since Danny had showed off flight, super strength, and intangibility already? And called them the generic end of the list?

Duke was definitely leaning on the “extreme control of his aura” side of the equation.

Tim looked concerned too, which was kind of validating. It kinda sucked being the expert on things no one else could understand, because Duke always worried he was overreacting, but if Tim tagged it too? Well that was validation.

“The only bit of good news is that we can probably rule out the pits as the source of his abilities,” Tim muttered as he scanned back through his notes so far.

“They coulda been trauma activated by his death in the same way as a meta gene,” Duke pointed out thoughtfully, leaning back against the wall.

It wasn’t like they were racing home, and until someone else came down the elevator? No rush. Tim had another floor to descend anyway.

Tim himself shrugged, adding another couple of notes to his file.

“It’s definitely possible, but even if it was a million-to-one chance, I can’t imagine Ra’s keeping quiet about something this useful, or letting someone like Danny run around if he had any idea he existed,” Tim explained, making a face.

And… yeah, no point trying to argue with Tim about Ra’s al Ghul. Duke pulled a face too and sighed.

“Well, he still seems pretty sure we’ll know all about it if we can get into Amity Park. Or when Jason decides to fucking tell us,” he added with a roll of his eyes.

Tim glanced up at him, smirking.

“You noticed too?” He asked innocently, and Duke snorted. Reading Jason’s micro-expressions might not be a survival skill exactly, but it was still a bat family hobby.

“He definitely fucking knows!” He complained, the switch from Professional Hero to Baby Brother getting easier and easier as time passed.

He still had his own parents, he didn’t need Bruce to adopt him, but he’d been an only child for most of his life. Having a new army of big brothers and sisters? Kinda ruled.

And he knew most of the others felt the same. They’d all be alone in their own ways, and the stubborn independent streaks were still there, but…

It was good to know someone had your back. That no matter what happened, how the adults in your life fucked you over, you could always go to Dick’s in Bludhaven.

Could always call Jason to bitch about whatever you needed off your chest, and yeah, there was always the worry that he really meant it when he said he’d “take care” of your problem? But he also listened when they said no.

Hell, it’d been Jason’s couch that Duke had crashed out on about a year ago, back when Jason was still damn near on the Big Bat’s no fly list.

He’d been on his way to school for the start of his winter semester when an absolutely blinding migraine took him to his knees. For whatever reason, Jason had been close.

Duke hadn’t even been able to glance at his phone to call for help; even opening his eyes a crack felt like he was being blinded. He’d barely recognised Jason’s voice asking if he was alright.

Hell, back then he hadn’t known if Jason recognised him out of costume. They’d always had a more friendly relationship than Jay did with the other bats, but this had been just after Jason finally texted Dick back.

Back when Red Hood would take a casual shot at any mask crossing into his turf. Not to hit, but a definite reminder of the border.

And Jason had lifted him bodily and carried him into Crime Alley. Put him on his couch to sleep it off in pitch darkness, and made him some of the best home made soup Duke had ever had.

Duke got why the older teens were still a little wary. He’d seen the Pit Rage live and in person, and it was fucking terrifying. It just wasn’t all Jason was.

And yeah, the family also had a whole army of fellow teens who’d know exactly what you were talking about, between Steph, Tim, Cass, and Duke himself. Even Damian, as much as he pretended not to care.

Kate and Babs were always willing to spread their wings out and give them all a place to shelter. And hell, if adult supervision was needed, they even had Harley, Ivy, or Selina.

Duke may not want to be a Wayne, but he’d take everything the bat family offered with both hands.

Tim sure as hell had not adjusted from being the baby to being third oldest though. He gave a huge heaving groan to match Duke’s own, flopping back against the wall.

“I know, right! And he knows we don’t know shit. He’s just enjoying watching us scramble cuz he knows we can’t just tell Danny we don’t know,” he grumbled, scrubbing both hands through his hair.

Duke hesitated.

“We… probably could just tell Danny,” he said slowly, brows furrowing. “It’s not like he doesn’t want us to know.”

Tim gave him a sidelong look.

“Yeah, after we admit we didn’t even manage to google him. Y’know, the kid who clocked Dick’s identity from his ass,” he added dryly.

Duke hesitated again, brows furrowing.

He knew that shouldn’t matter. Knew the smart move really was to ask for help sometimes. Knew damn well that it was Tim’s stubborn streak that kept him in the cave all night, while Tuck, Steph, and Cass watched movies upstairs.

Finally he let his head drop, sighing.

“The longer we wait the dumber we look if we have to ask later,” he warned Tim but his heart wasn’t in it.

It didn’t matter that Jason was probably the only member of the family with all the pieces; whoever caved and asked for help first? Yeah, social suicide.

Tim shook his head, pushing off the wall and scowling out into the rest of the garage.

“It’ll be fine. I’ll talk to Tucker about the Amity Park problem tonight and we’ll know by morning.”

Which… Duke hid a smile.

Asking Danny? Definitely cheating, worthy of scorn and derision.

Asking Tucker? Apparently completely different. Although technically he wouldn’t be asking Tucker for the same information.

Just admitting the exact same fault.

Pulling his keys from his pocket, Duke turned and wiggled them at Tim as he headed for his bike.

“Hey, if you hurry you could try to beat Danny and Jason to the manor. Get to Tucker first,” he added, grinning as Tim hit the call for the elevator.

The shorter boy rolled his eyes, waving a hand in Duke’s general direction.

“I’ll get to him once everyone’s warmed up. He wanted a look at my set up last night anyway,” he said almost off handedly.

Duke’s grin spread.

“Oh hey, that’s perfect! Just take him to your bedroom after you’ve both just been wet and naked and show each other your most private parts!” He called loudly, wondering if any of the supers were listening.

They’d find out soon.

Tim choked, blushing cherry red and spun to yell something after Duke just as the elevator doors opened. Duke waved cheerily back, turning away to head for his motorcycle.

“See you at the manor Timmy!”

**

Reconvening at Wayne Manor was… well, chaotic. Even more so than the gala the night before, though that might have been because this time, none of them had a firm plan.

Jason and Danny arrived first, greeting Alfred on the way in. The butler was not hugely impressed by the “foresight” which had led to a snowball fight when Danny was wearing an oversized sweater, sweatpants, and little else.

Any protestations that Danny was fine and was normally this cold anyway quavered under an archly raised brow and Danny privately swore never to let Clockwork meet Alfred.

They would get along far too well.

And that’s how Danny ended up actually using one of the spare bathrooms while Jason, who had worn a proper coat and thus escaped Alfred’s wrath, grabbed him a change of clothes.

The fact that this once again included one of Jason’s shirts, when Tim, Dick, Duke, and Steph all existed and also had spare clothes here, felt a little targeted.

It hung from Danny’s shoulders like a kid in his dad’s clothes, but Jason was probably also the only one with a shirt that said “Soup Powered Fuck Machine”, and the bit was fucking worth it.

Danny tied off most of the excess fabric into something just a bit longer than a crop top and settled in to drink hot chocolate with Jason and Duke and wait for the others to come back down.

(Which, by the way? Best hot chocolate he’d ever tasted. He was stealing the recipe 1000%, it was so rich and creamy and thick and had grated curls of chocolate on top of the whipped cream.)

Any lingering questions Duke might have been hiding about the shirt? Answered themselves when Tucker walked into the room, saw Danny, and laughed so hard he wound up in the fetal position.

Yeah, Jason was never getting this shirt back.

This was Danny’s shirt now. He was gonna wear it for his next fight with his rogues.

Sam actually did have her own clothes, so she’d accepted the offer of laundry while she showered (though she was a little annoyed the laundry room was so far from any of the bathrooms that she couldn’t do it herself), so she’d rejoined them in a mix of Steph and Cass’s clothes while she waited.

She had also been unable to keep a straight face upon seeing Danny’s new country girl fashion statement, rolling her eyes and punching his shoulder as she dropped to sit next to him.

“We call the thermos Soup Time,” she explained when Cass cocked her head curiously… which probably actually confused the rest of the bats a little more.

“The thermos you threw at Killer Croc?” Dick asked, still towelling his hair dry.

Sam raised a very slow eyebrow at him, her smile toning down to a smug smirk.

“Yeah, sure, I definitely threw it at Croc,” she agreed dryly and Dick cackled, throwing his towel down on Tucker’s still curled body.

Without even seeming to open the door Alfred appeared with another tray of hot chocolates, handing them out to those who hadn’t yet gotten one and taking back empty mugs.

He even had a second hot chocolate for Danny, who was going to marry the man. Even if he was old enough to be his grandpa.

Maybe Tucker did have a point about trying to get into the Wayne family for the perks… which Danny was never going to stop teasing him about, now that he and Tim were getting on so well. Boy could make his own ins, he didn’t need Danny.

Even Tucker roused himself for a mug though, crawling out from under Dick’s towel, glancing at Danny, and bursting out laughing again. Still, this time he could keep himself steady enough to stand, take the mug, and join Tim on another couch.

Alfred gave a quick glance around the room, probably counting heads, and cleared his throat.

The assorted vigilantes quieted immediately, and Danny’s respect for the old man grew just a little. It was already pretty fucking high. Not much more room to rise.

And somehow that perfectly serene, composed face managed to convey a deep sense of satisfaction.

“I am afraid we are presently waiting only on Master Bruce to begin dinner. If you would all proceed to the dining room?” It was phrased as a polite request.

The Wayne brood leapt to like it was an order. Danny pressed his lips shut on a laugh as he followed, catching Sam’s eye to see her grinning.

Up in front, Dick hurried to walk alongside Alfred.

“Oh, is Brucie not home? Or do you want me to go dig him up?” He asked brightly, and Alfred gave him a tight smile, pushing open the door to the fucking plainest most normal dining room Danny’d ever seen in a mansion.

Sure, the table was huge, but rather than being ornate, heavy, or flashy, it looked to be hard wearing oak. Clean, well polished, and not even that polish could hide the dents.

The chairs too were comfortable, nice, and a lot more tasteful than the Manson’s or Vlad’s. Well padded, well used, but not… fancy. Even the walls were simple, the elaborately framed portraits and art pieces on the wall replaced with…

What looked like kid’s drawings. Framed, cherished, and it clicked.

No chance in hell that this was the manor’s formal dining room.

The table was huge, but not that big with the number of people in the room. More than half of it was filled with just the kids, and sure there was space for the Amity Parkers, but not a larger group.

This was the family dining room. And that was fucking adorable.

Steph’d definitely walk him through every picture on the walls to help him find Jason’s. Today was going to be great.

He almost completely missed Alfred’s reply to Dick.

“I’m afraid not, master Dick. He was expected back nearly two hours ago, and yet…”

Even deep within the manor no one could have missed the sound of the front door slamming open, and anyone who did would have been alerted by the bellowing yell that followed.

“OOOOOOOH BRUCIE! I TOLD YA WHAT’D HAPPEN IF WE HAD TO HAVE THE BOUNDARY TALK AGAIN!” An extremely loud, very chipper given… well, everything voice filled the room.

The Gothamites’ heads all snapped around with expressions ranging from delight to exasperation.

“How the fuck did she get here so fast,” Duke hissed, leaning in towards Tim, but not far enough that Danny couldn’t hear, “weren’t she and Ivy in Brazil?”

Tim, definitely the exasperated one, gave a helpless shrug. Whatever he replied with was lost under Dick, bellowing back with clear glee in his voice.

“FAMILY DINING ROOM, HARLS! FIRST HALL ON YOUR LEFT!”

So, they were all going to meet Harley Quinn today. That’d be fun. Danny had always wondered what she was like in person, and apparently she was a close enough friend of the Waynes to be welcomed in.

Sam and Tucker’s faces would be fun.

Alfred’s was a perfect mask of patience that even Clockwork would envy, and he had already pulled a new place setting from a chest of drawers.

It didn’t take Harley long to find them, striding down the hall wearing some fucking unseasonal shorts, a baggy long sleeved sweater, and her trademarked blonde pigtails with the pink and blue tips.

And a bedazzled baseball bat slung casually over her shoulder, just in case anyone missed the mark.

She greeted Dick with a kiss on the cheek, then chased down as many of the others that hadn’t immediately fled to the other side of the table. Barring Damian, none of them seemed to mind.

Jason had made an attempt to flee, but no. No, that wasn’t happening, and Danny “accidentally” got in his way. Boxed him in between chair and table, grinning all the while until Harley made her way to them.

“And there he is! My poor suffering boy!” Harley cooed, cupping both of Jason’s cheeks in her hands and yanking his head down with a lot more force than a woman her size should have been capable of, pressing a large smooch on each cheek.

For all the glares he shot Danny, he managed an almost sheepish smile for the woman herself.

“I’m fine, Harley. Really. You didn’t need to come,” he protested with absolutely none of his heart in it, a pink flush rising to complement the sparkly pink lipgloss smooch marks.

“Nonsense, baby boy, if Brucie needs his head pulled from his ass I’m always here,” Harley told him firmly, patting his cheeks and rounding on Danny.

It was kinda less funny now that she was bearing down on him, all of her airhead dramatics belied by the piercing, analytical stare she pinned him with.

“Huh, did Brucie pick up a new one while we were gone? It’s been like a week, we’ll talk about his adoption issues too,” Harley declared firmly, snagging Danny by his collar and yanking him in for a cheek smooch too.

And yeah, holy shit, she really was a lot stronger than she looked. Like, almost ghostly levels of super strength.

Batman’s “no metas in Gotham” rule was looking flimsier and flimsier, cuz while she’d been a rogue in the past, this? This was not a rogue’s welcome, and Danny actually did like most of his rogues.

Just not “kisses on the cheek”, although the grabbing and pulling was familiar.

Still, better not let Vlad know. Wouldn’t do for him to feel too welcome in Gotham.

Harley released him a moment later to give him a dazzling smile.

“Hi, you’re a little older than most of Brucie’s new kids but that’s fine, I’m your Aunt Harley now and if you ever need any help with anything, especially getting Brucie’s ass in line, you just call me, okay doll?” She told him firmly.

Jason was fucking grinning at him over her head, and it just plain wasn’t fair that he was a whole head taller than them. Danny flipped him off behind her back, and gave the woman herself a sheepish smile.

“Actually, I’m not one of Bruce’s, I’m just-“

“Jason’s-boyfriend,” Steph stage coughed behind him.

Harley’s eyes widened, Danny had a go at kicking blindly behind him and hurried to correct her.

“Just Jason’s friend,” he stressed the word and suddenly those almost frighteningly piercing eyes were roaming across his face again.

It was like if Jazz had been dunked in a vat of glitter but could still see right through him. Then Harley grinned again and patted his cheek.

“Sure thing, sugar. Still, if you stick around long enough Brucie’ll make a go of it, so be careful,” she warned him cheerfully, then lunged for Steph, got her in a headlock, and smooched pink lipgloss into freshly washed hair.

Danny couldn’t help chuckling softly as Harley scanned the room, clocked a bemused Tucker and wide eyed Sam, and her eyes narrowed for a moment.

Then she nodded, apparently deciding they probably also weren’t new niece and nephew, and skipped back over to Alfred.

“So! Not that this ain’t great, but ya clearly got some company over so if ya could just point me towards the B-man I’ll borrow him right quick?” She offered with a broad grin, not actually grabbing Alfred.

Up went the respect-o-meter again. Restraining Harley Quinn was hard for seasoned heroes, her restraining herself? None of the birds could claim that apparently.

Alfred gave her the same polite smile, setting her a place at the table.

“I’m afraid Master Bruce has not yet returned from his lunch appointment, Miss Quinzel. He should be returning shortly if you would care to join us for dinner?” It almost didn’t seem like a question, given what he was doing.

Harley waved a hand easily, making a face that was almost apologetic.

“Oh, nah, I’ll just go get ‘im for ya and send ‘im back over. Maybe with some new bruises,” she added almost as an after thought, then shrugged and grinned. “So! Where’d ya last see ‘im?”

It seemed like their missing Brucie problem was about to be solved, and the rest of the Gothamites were now taking their seats around the table.

Tucker, who’d cautiously followed Tim’s retreat around the table after Harley’s chaotic entrance, was now sat between Tim and Damian, and probably regretting his life choices.

Sam, whose parents hadn’t actually specifically forbidden her from speaking to Harley, seemed to be trying to make up her mind about something. Probably going to talk to Harley directly.

Steph and Jason had considerately left two spots in between them as they sat, and Danny let himself drop into the chair next to Jason as Alfred answered.

Well. Nearly into the chair.

“Master Bruce’s lunch appointment was approximately four hours ago in a private room at Chez Vous with one of our gala’s guests, a Vlad Masters.”

Yeah. Danny missed the chair, thunking all the way to the floor with a startled squawk.

“He fucking WHAT?!” He exclaimed, yanking himself back up, staring around the table at the equally startled Waynes.

Like they hadn’t spent the first part of the gala telling these people specifically that Vlad was a fucking mind controlling sociopath who was targeting their dad. What the hell.

Alfred raised an eyebrow very slowly at him, concern now creeping into his expression.

“He went to met Mr Masters in a private room for a late lunch, Mister Fenton. I am not aware of any other plans, but-”

And Danny was probably committing a cardinal fucking sin by interrupting him but he couldn’t hold in the groan, sinking down into the actual chair this time and thunking his head off the table.

Across the table, Tucker snickered at him.

“Let me guess. You forgot Vlad was still in town?” He asked, and Danny let out another utterly heartfelt groan.

“I forgot Vlad was still in town,” he whined as Jason stifled an entirely inappropriate bout of laughter.

There was one more important piece of business though, and Steph jumped straight to it.

“Wasn’t someone supposed to warn Bruce about Masters last night, so this couldn’t happen?” She asked in a low voice, leaning into the middle of the table.

Tim made a face, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I said I would, but… I got distracted…”

By beating his brains out against Amity Park’s ghostly firewalls apparently, and Danny did feel kinda bad for completely forgetting to mention that. In his defence, he hadn’t technically known that the Batcomputer was not ghost virus proof.

Should have guessed. Hadn’t known.

Tucker, who still had no idea about the vigilante thing, was quick to reassure Tim.

“You had a medical emergency, of course you were distracted,” he said quickly, patting the younger man carefully on the shoulder and glaring at the other assembled Wayne brood, “and any of them coulda mentioned it too!”

Dick raised a hand with a half smile that was mostly apology.

“Actually… Bruce went straight to Tim’s side after the gala. Think he stayed all night, but I never actually saw him. We coulda texted though,” he added sheepishly as the rest of the family made general noises of agreement.

Except Duke, who shrugged.

“I only learned about Masters when I met you guys this morning,” he pointed out, and Danny kinda doubted that but Duke had missed the original Masters debrief so he had the best excuse.

Alfred stepped closer to the table, and for the first time his presence actually registered as something other than the polite, nigh-unnoticeable model of efficiency.

Which probably meant he’d picked up on Danny’s super subtle hints that the situation was not fucking good. Good for him.

“And precisely what information was supposed to be shared with Master Bruce?” He asked, still politely, still calmly, but there’s a hint of warning that had most of the table stiffening up.

Tucker answered, giving Alfred an apologetic smile.

“Vlad Masters is a super creep and probably using his mind control powers to try and make Mr Wayne sign over everything he owns,” he explained easily, like it was nothing.

Harley’s eyes had widened, but she didn’t seem overly worried, just shouldered her bat again.

“So it’s also gonna be a rescue mission, huh? Vladdie a local boy or are they still gonna be in the same place?” She asked, the rest of the table tensing as one.

Because yeah. Next step was extract Bruce, and kick Vlad’s ass, and probably maybe try and get any contracts Bruce had signed in four hours? Which could now be anywhere.

Sighing heavily, Danny hauled himself to his feet. Feeling like a fucking idiot aside, he probably should have already left. He was pretty sure he knew where Chez Vous was?

“No, you guys stay put, I’ll go get him,” he said as cheerily as he could, cracking his neck.

Harley’s brows drew down in a frown and she prodded him with the bat.

“No offence kid, but ya look like a stiff breeze will flip ya over. You’re not going alone,” she told him firmly, and yeah, Danny could also feel Jason damn near vibrating from beside him.

Concern-worry-protect-coming too.

Putting a hand on the big guy’s shoulder before he could rise, Danny pushed just enough to keep him in his seat. Felt the moment of shock course through the much bigger man, and his grin became just a little more genuine.

“Sorry but if any of you come along, you’ll only make it harder for me to get Bruce back safely. Vlad’ll just take you guys over and make you fight me. I really wouldn’t worry too much though, he’s never actually beaten me,” he added with a reassuring smile.

Sam snorted a laugh, dropping into the empty seat beside Steph and crossing one leg over the other. Reassuring the Gothamites with her own complete lack of moving.

“Yeah, Danny’s been cleaning his clock since he was fourteen and it’s something like 700-5. You’d think he’d give up eventually,” she added, rolling her eyes.

Cuz yeah, Vlad might have gotten the upper hand through sneaky traps a bunch of times, but in a straight fight? Danny usually won, even before he had the power of the Infinite Realms at his back.

It wasn’t that all eyes turned to Harley. It was more that suddenly a bunch of them weren’t looking at her so pointedly they might as well have.

She regarded Danny and Sam a moment longer, then shrugged and dropped into the chair at the head of the table.

“Guess I’m stayin’ for dinner, or at least til Brucie’s back. And hey, it can be hard for folks ta come to terms with things like that. ‘Specially if they’re adults takin’ offence ta gettin’ their butt kicked by kids,” she added, a bright gleam in her eye.

Sam snickered, leaning back in her chair.

“Voice of experience?” She asked innocently and Harley tipped her a wink.

“Hell nah, you ever seen a Robin fight? ‘Sides, most of the folks who’ll shit a brick at bein’ beat by a kid get just as huffy at gettin’ beat by me,” Harley explained with a broad grin, flexing her own muscles.

It was just a little hilarious to see the differing reactions from the young vigilantes around the table.

Damian was still noticeably grumpy, though he almost felt more worried to Danny’s expert empathic eye. But then, his dad was in the lion’s den.

Dick and Tim looked like they were sharing an inside joke, and Danny had to figure they were the other Robins that went against Harley the most.

Steph, Cass, and Duke all looked decidedly self satisfied. Jason…

Jason was ignoring the rest of the table, still frowning up at Danny but not fighting his grip anymore.

“I should still come with you,” he argued like the rest of the conversation hadn’t happened, his voice low and urgent. And… yeah. Protection Obsession, 1000%.

And his Fright Knight now, fuck you very much Clockwork, but he was also not even fully formed. No way Danny was taking him to fight Vlad as his first ghost.

He gave Jason’s shoulder a quick squeeze, lowering his voice under the rest of the conversation.

“You’ll know if I need you, Jay, but Vlad used to be able to control me too. He’s not a great first run,” he explained softly.

Jason very clearly didn’t like it, brows drawing in even further, and Danny made his grin a little brighter by contrast. Brushed confidence-easy fight-be back soon across his aura.

“Besides, he’s more a sneaky fuck than an actual fighter. Not worth both of us heading out,” he tried, rolling his shoulders.

Jason raised an eyebrow, entirely unimpressed.

“By that logic it should be me going instead of you,” he pointed out, and Danny pouted. Fuck him for technical accuracy.

“Look, next time, okay?” He whispered, leaning in til his mouth was next to Jason’s ear. Tim was now watching them rather than Sam and Harley’s banter.

Perceptive little shit. But he wouldn’t catch shit if Danny covered his mouth to talk. For now, he had to persuade a cranky protective halfa not to go kick Vlad’s ass.

How the turntables and so on.

“Once you’ve got your powers in you can take him every time, alright?” He whispered, then leaned back and grinned at Jason. At least he wasn’t glaring anymore.

“I’ve got this. I’ll be fine,” he said as reassuringly as he could. And then. Pausing. “Uh… but I’ll probably… y’know. Do the thing to find him.”

Vlad couldn’t hide from Danny’s expanded aura, not without leaving this dimension. But that’d mean Jason also got another dose.

The understanding dawned across the big guy’s face, fell into a complicated expression. Finally he nodded stiffly.

“Fine. But leave it up so I know how it’s going?” He grumbled back, lips barely moving. Probably as a countermeasure for Nosy Little Brother.

Danny grinned and ruffled Jason’s hair, stepping away.

“Sure thing bud. I’ll be back with Bruce as soon as I can,” he said more loudly, more to the whole room, and let his aura flare out into the city until it touched Vlad’s.

Yeah, that beat trying to navigate the city from above for the second time ever.

A sudden absolutely awful impulse hit him, and his grin stretched just a little beyond what was humanly possible.

Why the fuck not? The reveal was gonna drop soon enough, Tuck and Sam already knew how much he wanted to show.

And most of the table were watching him.

Danny rolled his shoulders, cracked his neck, and had a brief moment of nostalgia. Because if he was being theatrical…

“I’m going ghost,” he called as loud as he could, letting the glowing rings of his transformation wash over him, changing him to Phantom in front of a table of gawking bats.

Then he jumped into the air and flew out of the manor through the wall, Sam and Tucker’s laughter ringing in his ears.

Now he just had to hope he could reach Bruce before Vlad did anything he couldn’t easily fix.

**

Tim was the first to speak. Other than the raucous laughter of the Amity Parkers the dining room had been dead silent since Danny’s… well, it was a transformation.

Reaching out blindly with his other hand, Tim caught Duke’s arm.

“You saw that, right?” He asked, his voice a little hoarse.

Duke nodded slowly, still staring at the wall Danny had just disappeared through.

“Not that I know what the fuck it was… but yeah…”

Because… yeah. They’d known Danny was some kind of meta at this point. Guy really wasn’t trying to hide it. But that was…

“What, you ain’t seen that before?” Harley asked from the head of the table, her voice filled with a sudden glee.

Across the table Jason snickered, and Tim’s attention zeroed back in on him.

He’d known. He’d stiffened up before Danny had transformed, still hadn’t fully relaxed and Tim could guess why. Whatever he’d told Danny to “leave up”.

It didn’t look like he was in pain, more like he’d braced himself for something that hadn’t fully happened yet. But since apparently all secrets were just on the table now…

Tim turned to Tucker.

“What the fuck was that?” He asked, and Tucker sighed happily, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes.

“An overdramatic little fuck?” Sam offered from the other side of the table, also still grinning. Tucker wheezed loudly, slumping back in his chair.

Tim shifted his attention to Sam instead, giving up on Tucker for now. To be fair, he was kinda surprised Jason wasn’t also laughing at them.

It must have made a comical scene.

“Obviously. But that… going ghost? What did he mean?” He pressed, leaning in across the table but not lowering his voice.

Sam and Tucker exchanged thoughtful looks, Tucker’s laughter fading to giggles as they clearly weighed their answers. Then Sam leaned in too, folding her arms on the table and leaning over them.

“How much were you actually able to look up about Amity Park?” She asked, and the rest of the table leaned in to listen.

Even Harley, thoroughly devoid of context, kept quiet for a change. She could smell a good story when she heard one.

And as much as it pained him to admit…

“Nothing at all,” Tim confessed with a brief shake of his head, eyes narrowed. “I couldn’t even find the weather account you showed us.”

Beside him Tucker took another deep, fortifying breath and steadied himself in his seat.

“Yeah… warned you about that. Any tech not actually from Amity needs a baseline level of ecto before it can get through the firewalls,” he explained, and as glad as Tim was to have him back in the conversation…

“But that isn’t how firewalls work,” he protested, knowing full well the other boy knew, “Facebook doesn’t have a separate server or separate firewalls for some small town in Illinois versus the larger world, and even if it has something to do with the IP…”

Tucker raised both hands quickly and Tim subsided, a little relieved to have been cut off. The frustration from last night was building again, and he really didn’t want to deal with that right now.

“Okay, you’re definitely right almost all of the time, but Amity Park’s is… different,” Tucker explained quickly, glancing around the table and almost immediately focusing his full attention back on Tim.

Dismissing the others as below the level needed to understand the conversation, or assuming they’d keep up on their own? They all could, none of the bats were slouches on cyber security, and the distinction didn’t matter to Tim.

Yet.

They were also probably all a little below Tucker’s own technical proficiency, from everything Tim had seen (and Steph and Cass’s admitted failure to break his server encryption).

(Oracle still hadn’t broken the same server.)

Tim nodded anyway, not willing to talk and slow the explanation any further.

They could have been doing this more than twelve damn hours ago.

“Firewall isn’t exactly the right term for it either, but about five years ago… well, we decided the rest of the world couldn’t know about a lot of things that happen in Amity Park. It wouldn’t be safe,” Tucker added, watching Tim’s face carefully.

He looked almost guilty. Like he could guess how much frustration this had caused Tim. Hell, if Danny knew their identities then Tucker, his guy in the chair almost certainly did too.

And since they weren’t pretending to all be civilians anymore…

“The GIW were already censoring the hell out of us,” Tucker continued, rolling his eyes, “it was actually really annoying. They actually did the IP thing, but you could VPN around that. But we didn’t want the rest of the world, other governments to come to the same bullshit conclusions about ghosts and keep causing trouble.”

“Ghosts like Danny,” Duke cut in, not a trace of doubt in his voice.

Tucker glanced past Tim for a moment and nodded.

“Pretty much, but Danny’s a special case. Most ghosts can’t actually do the magical girl transformation,” he added with a snicker, and Sam rolled her eyes, tapping the table for attention.

“What Tucker’s dancing around telling you is that what we call the Amity Park firewall is basically alive. It has nothing to do with IP addresses or any regular tech shit because it runs on ectoplasm.”

“It’s not actually alive,” Tucker cut back in with an exasperated huff, “it’s just something I came up with with some help from Technus. He’s the spirit of technology so he can possess computers, not people, and together we made a safety net.”

“All of Amity Park is saturated in natural ectoplasm,” Sam explained, ignoring Tucker’s pointed glare, “so now whenever someone’s trying to connect online to anything based in an Amity Park server, our ecto looks for your ecto in whatever device you have. No ecto, no data.”

“It’s not that simple,” Tucker whined, like this wasn’t already a level of complexity that made Tim’s head spin.

But it was the spinning that triggered an almost ignored memory.

“Ecto… that’s what Danny nearly said last night, when he was talking about the Lazarus Pits,” he said with a sudden sharp frown, attention jumping between the Amity Parkers and onto Jason.

Who shrugged. Like this wasn’t news. How the fuck had he even met Danny in the first place?

“Show of hands, who here’s surprised that the pit waters actually come from the land of the dead?” Jason asked dryly, gaze sweeping along the table.

Tim’s attention flashed directly to Damian and then Cass, the two of them sat on a full diagonal from each other. They were the closest thing the family had to experts.

Neither looked surprised, although Damian’s eyes were narrowed. New information then, and likely something he’d be looking more into. Cass just looked thoughtful.

Harley’s hand was up though, and the table gradually turned to its gravity. She shrugged.

“Had a bet with Ives that it was super tainted kool-aid. Not that we know much about it,” she added with a shrug, and Jason snickered.

“You’re half right anyway,” he told her and the raised hand was replaced by a pair of fists pumping into the air, but silently for once.

Even Harley wasn’t gonna interrupt a lore dump.

Jason returned his attention to Tim.

“Apparently the pits are made of contaminated ectoplasm. Super tainted,” he nodded to Harley, “because the regular stuff? Doesn’t bubble, doesn’t burn, and doesn’t kill people who touch it.”

Tim’s eyes narrowed for a moment, looking Jason over, hunting any trace of a lie. He’d made himself an expert on Jason’s features, on what every micro-expression might possibly mean.

Jason was a damn good liar, but Tim knew every tell that meant he spoke the truth.

Still, he glanced from Jason to Cass, sat on Jason’s other side. The Asian girl raised an eyebrow at him, then nodded.

Human lie detector confirmed. Good to know. Even if she was rolling her eyes at him for checking.

Duke leaned in further, half his body now hovering above the table as he grinned at Jason.

“So does that mean you’ve got ectoplasm in you, if you still have the pit rage?” He asked, which didn’t really seem like something to smile about.

Although not exactly worse than the idea of Jason just still having the pit in his veins. At least Jason didn’t seem to be really bothered by it.

He just shrugged.

“I guess so?” He offered suspiciously, his face still carefully neutral as he watched Duke. Whose grin broadened.

“So does that mean if you look up stuff on Amity Park you’ll get through?” He asked innocently. Jason rolled his eyes.

“I’m not a phone, Duke,” he said dryly, and Tucker snickered.

“It’s actually kinda funny you say that, cuz Danny’s been sucked into video games before,” Tucker said innocently, giving Jason a sidelong look.

Which… raised a couple of questions, since Jason didn’t seem embarrassed by it. Tim’s eyes narrowed for a moment.

“Is that something that could happen to Jason?” He asked cautiously, and for some reason Tucker actually laughed.

“Oh, it’s something that could happen to anyone,” he said sounding very smug, and Tim tore his attention off Jason to stare at Tucker, wondering what the hell he was thinking.

Tucker just grinned back and Tim’s best guess… well, it couldn’t have been a bad experience. It had definitely afforded him the full attention of everyone at the table.

Harley stuck a hand in the air again.

“Okay, I know I ain’t one o’ the kids, but I’m gonna need to know a whole lot more about that,” she declared, and Tucker laughed, shaking his head.

“Another time? I gotta get back to get ready for school early tomorrow at the latest but if you wanted to hang out again…” he trailed off hopefully, his attention slipping from Harley back to Tim.

Tim was not going to blush. This was a chance to gather more intel in future. And just hang out with a friend! There was nothing more to it than that.

He chuckled softly and nodded, settling back into his seat.

“Yeah, I think it’s safe to say we’ll see each other again,” he agreed, and definitely didn’t enjoy the way Tucker beamed at him.

Given their reactions, he probably did some kind of tech support while Danny… Danny was probably the ghost who’d protected Amity Park.

Had they always known who Jason and his family were? Tim knew he should reserve judgement until he could find an unbiased source and work out what had actually happened in Amity Park, but…

Well, it wasn’t like the Amity Parkers were hostile. There was always the chance it could be a long con, but Tim didn’t think so. They’d given too much away.

For now, it seemed safest to assume that they were fellow vigilantes, and were at least as aware of their identities as Danny. Tucker might even have been the one to work it out.

And if Tucker could solve their technical problems and give them open access to Amity Park, Tim could take that and confirm his theories.

If they had something to hide, Tim should be able to work out at least where to look based on what Tucker gave him.

“We’ve gotta wait for Danny to get back for him to infuse your tech, buuuut I can get you started on the data download if you can hook me into your set up,” Tucker said with an almost seductive smile.

Or maybe Tim thought it was seductive because it came with an offer of increased tech. And sure, he wasn’t hooking a stranger straight up to the Batcomputer, but…

Well, that’s what the fully isolated laptops were for. And Tim could bring one of those up from the cave, but… well, the Amity Parkers showed trust first. And they really had less reason to.

They’d been abandoned by the Justice League, and apparently personally picking up that slack. The least Tim wanted to do was promise them that it hadn’t been malicious; they really hadn’t known.

And to promise that he personally was going to find out how this had happened, and make sure it wouldn’t happen again. Last night wasn’t going to be in vain.

He’d ask the others about it, but as things stood right now, Tim would really like to see Tucker get a proper look at the Bat Cave.

**

Vlad was a little surprised to find he’d been having an absolutely charming afternoon with one Brucie Wayne.

He hadn’t expected to actually like the man, but one on one he had a kind of self effacing charm that Vlad rather appreciated. Far more tolerable than most of the arrogant rich bastards he had to deal with.

He had been so very interested in the running of Amity Park too, in the challenges of being a mayor and a business owner, and so few people really appreciated the struggle.

Of course, Vlad wasn’t going to out any of Daniel’s little secrets. It wouldn’t do to upset the boy more while he was trying to mend fences.

Even if he had left Vlad to the mercy of some hapless buffoons and the criminals they were chasing the night before.

So he kept it light, to issues like road maintenance, funding local fixtures like the library and the schools, things he thought Brucie had a chance of understanding.

Brucie had also noticed that their boys were becoming… close.

Well, it would be almost impossible for him not to have. And it was only natural that Brucie wanted to know more about the boy getting close to his son.

It was almost a little strange how easy it was to speak well of Daniel. For so long Vlad had been fixated on his inadequacies, on all the things he could fix if Daniel would just accept his help.

On wanting to mould Daniel into someone like himself. He hadn’t really considered that Daniel… might not want to be like him.

Vlad was rich, successful, on top of the world by every modern marker, but he was also alone. He had no one and nothing that he would call his own, that he could leave his fortune to.

Of course, as a half ghost it wasn’t like he was actually going to die, but not having a successor was part of what tugged at his core.

And Daniel… Daniel was much better at bringing people close than Vlad. He had dear friends, and easily found himself with new ones. Daniel was likeable, and Vlad had to admit that he himself… wasn’t.

People cozied up and tried to bribe Vlad, but perhaps it was the very things he’d seen as weaknesses in Daniel that made them actually like the boy.

So he focused on those instead, the qualities that had always baffled and confused him. The loyalty, the trust, everything he’d once tried to use to tear Daniel down.

And utterly failed at every turn. After so many years, yes, Vlad had detected the pattern. It was just so hard to keep from falling into it.

So when he felt Daniel’s aura wash out and across him, wary but amused on top of the aggression, he startled just a little. Made sure to obviously check his phone, and gasped when he saw the time.

It was obvious what must have happened.

“Oh my, Brucie, did you have another appointment today?” He asked in only mildly faked surprise, concealing his amusement expertly. “Dear Daniel has just contacted me, it seems you’ve been missed.”

Daniel likely thought Vlad was up to the kind of nefarious schemes that he… well, had come to Gotham to commit, in all honesty. But obviously those plans had changed with his little badger’s personal interest.

Perhaps he should have told Daniel that? Ah well, the boy would learn soon enough. He settled back in his seat, letting his aura broadcast his intent.

Calm-welcome-nothing to hide.

Felt Daniel’s disbelief, but that was fine. It was the truth.

Brucie visibly startled as well, taking his own phone out to check the time. Probably wondering why his own brood weren’t contacting him if he’d been missed so much.

“Oh… yes, I’m terribly sorry, I think Danny must have been invited to our family dinner, which I’m late to,” Brucie added with that lovely self effacing smile, shrugging. “I must have put my phone on vibrate. I’ll just tell them to start without me.”

Or his children didn’t expect him to check it, apparently with reason.

Vlad clapped his hands together and rubbed them a few times.

“Well, no matter. I do believe Danny is on his way to retrieve you, so we’d best wait where we are. I will pick up the bill, of course.”

They’d had the private room in the restaurant for around four hours now, which wouldn’t come cheap, but Vlad could be generous. Especially if Daniel expected him not to be.

Brucie made the usual noises of gratitude and appreciation, and mild confusion. Well, that would be answered by whether or not Daniel bothered to transform back before bursting in.

Either way, it wouldn’t be Vlad’s choice to reveal his little secret.

“I have my car with me, but if Danny’s on his way here…” Brucie trailed off, glancing to the window with a perplexed frown on that handsome face.

Whoever dealt with the man’s wrinkles for the cameras would be very upset, but Vlad got the feeling Brucie could afford the best. He had such an expressive face, and yet nothing was ever out of place.

Almost as good as ectoplasm for keeping one young.

He was probably wondering why Daniel was coming instead of one of his own children, and while Vlad could come up with an excuse about needing to see the boy anyway… well, he was bursting in on a very pleasant afternoon.

Vlad wanted to mend fences, not solve all the boy’s self inflicted problems.

Still, he gave Brucie a smile, touching the pad that would summon them a server again.

“Oh, you and Daniel can take the car I’m sure. He’ll just be here to make sure I’m behaving myself,” he added with a wry chuckle, settling back in his seat.

Something very much like alertness flicked across Brucie’s face, and Vlad could feel a flicker of suspicion for the first time from the other man.

Well, Vlad had baited him.

He certainly wasn’t as empathetic as Daniel, but he liked to keep an eye on his company, and this was the first trace of something more that he’d gotten from the man.

He waved a hand cheerfully, chuckling. The man likely had links to his city’s precious Bat and all his opinions on those more than just human. Best allay those concerns even if he was leaving.

“I have been known to talk peoples’ ears off if I get onto a subject like football, and four hours is surely long enough for him to suspect I’ve roped you into watching a game. Though if you did want to attend…” he let himself trail off, watched the man’s shoulders settle as he laughed.

“Oh, I’m not much of a sports fan myself, but I try to keep up with the Gotham teams when I can.”

The female teams at least, according to the tabloids, but Vlad wouldn’t judge. Much.

Brucie gave him that charming smile again, settling as well as the server came in and once again refilled their drinks.

“I didn’t realise Amity Park had their own teams in a league, though,” Brucie added with that softly furrowed brow. Like thought was such a strain for the man.

Vlad gave the server a quick smile and inclined his head.

“I will take the bill now, I believe we’re ready to go. And we don’t have our own teams in any of the major leagues,” he explained indulgently to Brucie, lips quirking up at the very thought.

Imagine trying to play a home game in Amity Park. It was hard enough getting the school teams out to their rivals.

And it gave him a chance to talk about his secondary Obsession.

“No, I have ownership of the Green Bay Packers, back home in Wisconsin. I really must warn you to stop there if you don’t want their full stats for the last four seasons or worse,” Vlad teased with a soft chuckle, taking a sip of his water.

Both of Brucie’s eyebrows rose and the man smiled back, settling into his seat.

“Well, Danny will be here soon to cut you off anyway,” he commented, that charming smile looking far too comfortable on him.

And he did have a point. Giving him a nod of acknowledgement, Vlad relaxed and let the gentle sea of Obsession take him, enthusiasm ramping up with every word he spoke.

It was nice to have permission for a change.

**

Despite his cheerful words, Danny couldn’t help but tense as he flew across the city. He’d make it within minutes, way faster than anyone trying to actually use Gotham’s streets, but…

Vlad had had Bruce for hours already. Danny was gonna hope that whatever he was doing, it was just more of his shady businessman bullshit.

He really, really, really didn’t want to fight overshadowed Batman.

Of course, remembering the looks on the flying furry brigade’s faces gave him a definite boost in mood. He didn’t actually wanna show up at Vlad’s giggling, buuut that was a problem for future Danny.

Present Danny was busy specifically not worrying so that he didn’t worry Jason into coming after him. Maybe telling the guy about Vlad’s lightning juice hadn’t been a great idea?

Of course, the good thing about the expanded aura was that he could still feel Jason’s like they were right next to each other.

And who’d have thought Jason was also a fucking mother hen? Poor guy was still tense, although at least Danny could still feel just a little amusement.

Yeah, Jason was getting to enjoy the full fruits of Danny’s theatrics. It wasn’t fair, but it made the whole thing better. Gave him something to keep his mind off Danny.

As if on cue, a strong spike of incredulous-funny-what the fuck came from his favourite non-clone halfa.

Danny was nearly at the restaurant now, and paused just above to send a questioning pulse back. Felt Jason startle, and could almost see him roll his eyes.

Later-come back-done?

The fuck were they talking about? Maybe the bats were right to always have their own little comms in. Danny sent a reassuring wave back.

Soon-anticipation-just arrived-curious.

And yes, Danny did expect the caution-stay safe-coming after you that he got back, but he wasn’t sure Jason would get the full effect of him actually rolling his eyes.

One last check for Vlad’s aura and Danny turned invisible, phasing through the roof and walls to have a look around.

Vlad was alone in a private room, with nothing but some glasses of water and a mostly empty bottle of wine. Alright, food was probably over a while ago, but the water might be a good sign.

Vlad wasn’t known to take care of the people he overshadowed.

Danny did a quick search of the rest of the building, stopping just shy of accidentally sticking his head through a bathroom wall when he felt a familiar presence.

Yup, Bruce was in the bathroom. Probably not overshadowed, which might just mean that Vlad was finished with him.

Not taking the risk, Danny made his way stealthily back to the private room, popping into visibility behind Vlad’s seat.

At least his aura being everywhere made it hard for Vlad to get a fix.

“What, did I not pay you enough attention last night, Vladdie?” He complained, draping an arm across the back of the man’s chair and noting the way he stiffened.

Also, these chairs? Much more pretentious. All carved and ornamental and bleh. Nowhere near as good as the ones at Wayne Manor.

Vlad didn’t actually turn to face him, reaching out and picking up his water glass instead. Filling his hands, so it’d be harder for him to take a shot at Danny?

Or just Vlad being Vlad and dismissing him.

Vlad took a long, slow sip before replying.

“While I would have preferred more of a chance to speak with you, Daniel, my presence here is solely to your benefit I assure you,” he said cool as a cucumber.

Danny narrowed his eyes, giving another poke of his aura. It didn’t feel like a lie.

“How so? Gonna rob Brucie blind and give it to the poor? I guess green also works for Robin Hood,” Danny mused, fingers drumming on the back of the chair.

Vlad actually looked at him then, a sharp sidelong glance before the man relaxed again, chuckling softly.

“Nothing of the sort. But if you and young Jason are going to be closely… connected, I will be seeing much more of Brucie, and I thought perhaps I could help lighten the… impression you left.”

Wait.

Was Vlad blushing?

Danny peered forward for a better look, utterly at a loss for what connection Vlad might be talking about. Cuz yeah, he and Jason were friends, but…

Oh.

Oh!

Vlad bought the closet scene.

Somehow that outcome had never even occurred to Danny and he felt himself flush, cheeks going green. Fuck, the goal had been to cause a scene, but Vlad actually thought…

Wait.

“So you’ve been here trying to convince Bruce I’m not an evil harlot corrupting his boy?” Danny asked, barely concealed glee rising with every word.

Because if this was funny, if this was fucking hilarious, he didn’t have to be embarrassed by it. Vlad didn’t need to know shit about his actual sex life, but if he’d actually called Bruce to try and polish up Danny’s new slutty reputation…

Vlad cleared his throat pointedly, still not looking directly at him.

“And luckily for you, he is somewhat willing to believe you have some good traits,” he said archly, and that fucking floored Danny.

“YOU think I have good traits?” He asked incredulously, cutting off whatever Vlad was about to say.

The man even took it pretty well, just one of those loud sighs like Danny was a particularly tiresome child, not a full grown adult man.

“I understand where you might have got the impression I don’t, Daniel, but if I thought you had none would I have pursued you so harshly?” He asked, finally turning in his chair to face Danny frankly.

Which meant he got both barrels of the sceptical face Danny was making.

“Dude, you say that like Obsessions are fucking logical,” Danny said dryly, and Vlad actually chuckled.

Not even condescendingly.

Like Danny made a point.

“Quite. Unfortunately for myself, the effects of my Obsession went into how I planned to achieve it, not in the goal itself. You have always been a remarkable young man, Daniel.”

And that was at least familiar ground.

Danny rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, and I’d be even more if I let you lure me off to your creepy castle in Wisconsin to become mini-Vlad. Brucie can’t ship me to Wisconsin,” he pointed out, just about resisting the urge to poke Vlad in the chest.

The old guy was being weirdly noncombative, but it had been a while since they saw each other. Actual years, which Danny couldn’t imagine would have been good for the other halfa.

Much as it sucked being someone else’s Obsession and he’d loved being free of the Fruitloop… he wouldn’t wish the ache of an unfulfilled Obsession on anyone.

Fuck did that mean Vlad had actually moved on? Was that something he could do? Please let it be something he could do.

The older halfa chuckled again and took another sip of his water.

“No, I’m well aware that he can’t. But our time apart gave me little to do but consider what I know of you. You have grown to a fine young man, Daniel, perhaps with all that I have ever lacked.”

He looked up again, their eyes meeting, and Danny very nearly recoiled. Almost stepped back and away from the other halfa’s aura so that he couldn’t feel Vlad’s pride seeping into his skin like grease.

“Okay, this is getting fucking weird. Do I have to kick your ass to get whatever contracts you made Bruce sign back?” He asked sharply, trying to get the conversation back to somewhere he understood it.

Vlad hesitated a moment, then settled back again, clearly reading Danny’s discomfort in his aura if not on his face because the pride settled away.

Back in Wayne Manor, Danny felt Jason keying up, the slow growing happiness cutting straight back to danger-warning-protect-need help?.

Danny forced himself to calm too, closing his eyes for a moment to focus on the feel of Jason, not Vlad.

He just.

He didn’t know what to do with Vlad being proud of him. That had only ever meant he’d fucked up somewhere horrible before.

Calm-safe-I’m safe-not hurt.

“Still in contact with young Jason?” Vlad asked, letting the subject change even if he didn’t answer Danny’s question.

Danny cracked an eye open to peer at him.

“Yeah, he wasn’t a fan of me coming to see you on my own. Not to pick up his dad,” he added before Vlad could get the wrong idea.

Actually. It was still kinda funnier if Vlad kept the wrong idea.

From what Danny could read of him, no worries about that. Vlad was amused, but not comfortable.

Yeah, well, he could join the club. Danny gave his shoulder a gentle poke.

“Anyway. What did you really want Bruce for?”

Vlad glanced at his watch, then at the door.

“Well he’ll be back any second to tell you himself, Daniel. I wasn’t sure if you’d shared this little secret yet so I didn’t mention any of our shared nature, but he was the one to invite me out.”

Which also felt like the truth. Both parts. Danny hesitated for a moment, not quite sure if he was ready for this particular secret to be out to the Batman.

It’d be out the second the man got home if no one had texted him yet, but that was a long car ride away unless Danny flew back, and he didn’t want to leave Bruce unsupervised again.

Just because Vlad was being weird didn’t mean he wasn’t being Vlad.

Still, he’d know if Bruce was overshadowed right away, and if he wasn’t he could ask the man himself what Vlad had been up to.

And Vlad was in human form. Not like he could transform any faster than Danny if shit was about to go down.

The decision pretty much took itself out of his hands when the door began to open and Danny jumped back out of grabbing reach (just in case) and changed back.

Which was when he remembered what he was wearing.

**

Lunch with Vlad Masters had been… informative, and Bruce was a little surprised just how much time had passed.

Masters might be an unscrupulous businessman but he was clearly devoted to the things he cared for; Daniel Fenton, Amity Park, and the Green Bay Packers.

He just couldn’t quite reconcile how those three pieces fit into the picture at hand. To hear Vlad tell it, nothing untoward had happened in Amity Park in his whole time as mayor. And yet… the calls were real.

Even if Masters hadn’t hit the button personally, someone in his office must have.

Was there a chance that Danny had some sort of mind control abilities? That he’d removed the memories of those in Amity Park who’d opposed him?

It would explain why Masters would so fervently champion a boy he’d had almost nothing to do with. Oh, Danny Fenton had been born to two of Masters’ college friends, but they hadn’t seen each other for years before Danny’s birth.

As far as Bruce could tell the two had never even met before Danny was at least fourteen; Vlad had lived in an actual castle in Wisconsin and been a regular on the gala circuit for his area.

Friend of the family or not, it was suspicious that the only adults he’d spoken to so far had such diametrically opposed views on Danny.

Vlad was obviously hiding something. About Amity Park, Bruce was completely certain. The man’s accounts simply did not add up with the evidence. About Danny…

Bruce had his suspicions, but there was very little clear evidence about the man himself. Danny was technically an unknown quantity. And the center of far too many mysteries for Bruce’s peace of mind.

Bruce slipped away to the bathroom to let his thoughts settle not too long into Vlad’s lecture on the history of the Packers.

If Danny was coming from the manor they had a while yet before he’d be there, so he could let Vlad ramble on for a while once he returned.

His cheeks hurt from keeping up Brucie’s smile, but that was nothing new. The gala last night was still weighing on him, but it made it easier to put the act back on.

If Danny was coming here, and would accompany Bruce back to the manor, they would have a while to talk in the traffic. Finally a chance to speak to the man himself and let Bruce get an unbiased read.

Something had happened before Vlad claimed to have received a message from Danny. Something that made him start, and while it could have been the man’s phone, Bruce doubted it.

Even silent vibrations actually made some sound, and Vlad had barely glanced at the device. Not long enough to read any kind of complicated message; he hadn’t even unlocked it.

Vlad must have thought he was hiding it, but he’d been amused by whatever happened. Amused, and known immediately it was Danny. That Danny was coming.

Whatever else he might be, Vlad was certainly not a particularly skilled liar. Not to Batman.

Washing his hands, Bruce wondered if he might not be able to get Vlad back onto the subject of how Danny would be coming.

On his own, or at least Vlad hadn’t mentioned anyone else. And using Bruce’s car to get back? There were hardly bus routes between the manor and the city.

Unless Danny had some kind of meta abilities. Damian’s report had included his suspicions, and Duke and Dick had both seen him fly away.

That would put him here sooner than expected, but Bruce was certain he’d have noticed a flying meta in his city. Unless Danny only flew for certain situations.

Bruce paused at the door to their private room for half a second, letting his Brucie mask settle comfortably into place. Letting the smile spread. And pushed the door open.

Something bright flashed inside and Bruce tensed, anticipating a trap. One he would have no choice but to fall into, as he was now. But as the door cleared, he saw…

Vlad at the table, just as Bruce had left him. And Danny Fenton settling like he’d just moved sharply, wide blue eyes and messy hair above a shirt that was far too large for him tied off at his waist, and.

And.

Impractical for the weather. The trousers were closer to the right size, but arms and feet were bare, along with a slice of midriff.

Completely dry. It was still snowing, and the streets were covered in snow and slush. There was a slim chance he’d left a coat somewhere, but even his hair was dry.

Windswept and dishevelled hair, suggesting flight. His boys were right, and Bruce made a note to check in with Oracle later. See if he had been detected in the air.

Startled by his presence. Likely not because he didn’t expect Bruce to be there, not if he’d come expressly to pick him up. More that he’d been distracted by whatever had him moving so sharply.

Staring at him.

And then there was nothing else to observe, except…

Wearing one of Jason’s shirts. One that Dick had given him as a joke. It hung off him, exacerbating their size difference.

Danny was small. Closer to Cass’s size, and this close up Bruce could see the lean muscle, but there wasn’t much of it.

In pure hand to hand Bruce could probably take him, but whatever abilities let him tank a fight with Killer Croc left the actual outcome an unknown.

Blinking hard to distract himself from just how and why Danny had managed to show up in Jason’s clothes, he pulled on his big happy Brucie smile for the room.

And suddenly Vlad was incensed.

Bruce would swear the man had been smiling when he opened the door, but at some point while Bruce gave Danny a quick once over his mood had turned to rage.

He smothered it down quickly, but his jaw was still tight when he spoke through gritted teeth.

“Daniel, I believe this is the first time you have met Brucie,” Vlad said, his tone so frosty Bruce nearly shivered.

Not controlled by Danny then. At least, not controlled in a way that made him deferential. Not unless this was a slip in Danny’s control.

The boy looked startled still, looking down at himself like he’d forgotten what he was wearing and giving Bruce a sheepish smile.

Honestly he could have been wearing the world’s finest suit and not allayed any of Bruce’s suspicions, but it wasn’t Brucie’s job to let that show.

Instead he cranked the smile up a couple more notches, stepping forward and holding out a hand to shake.

“Yes, Danny, my kids simply won’t stop talking about you! I was sorry I couldn’t say hello last night,” he added, wanting to see how Danny would react to a little dig.

Nothing he couldn’t deny as being purely sincere.

Danny made a face and then pulled a smile on over it, stepping forward quickly to shake Bruce’s hand.

Some people only needed touch to take control of another. Bruce felt nothing of the sort, but Danny’s hand was oddly cool. Not unaffected by his clothing then.

“Yeah… sorry about that. About… well, all of it,” Danny said with a sheepish smile and one shoulder shrug that nearly had the shirt’s overlarge neckline fall off his other shoulder.

He scrabbled to right it, and Bruce firmly stifled the impulse to relax.

It was familiar, something any of his kids might have done. It could easily be an act to lure him into a false calm.

Brucie laughed and clapped him on the other shoulder, keeping half an eye on Vlad, who was still stewing at the table.

“Oh, I certainly got up to much worse in my day. You’re only young once, right?” He offered jovially, tipping Danny a playboy wink.

The boy blushed to the roots of his hair.

Interesting.

As much as Bruce wanted to pull at Vlad a little more, try and work out his sudden change of mood, he would much rather begin his observations of Danny Fenton directly.

“Still, we should get going or we’ll miss all of dinner,” he said with a cheerful smile, nodding to Vlad. “Thanks for a lovely afternoon, Vlad! Maybe we’ll catch a football game before the season ends.”

The man’s disposition brightened like he’d flicked a switch, though he still shot Danny an almost smug dirty look.

“Oh, that would be charming, Brucie. I’ll get you tickets for the Packers’ next game, we’ll have a splendid time.”

Danny snickered beside him, shoving his hands in his pockets and grinning back. Not afraid of Vlad either, for all that the other man was older, richer, and more influential.

“Yeah, Vladdie here knows aaaall about packers,” he said with a sly smirk, looking down on Vlad from his standing position.

Vlad responded with a look that Bruce had previously only seen on Clark’s face, around when Dick started teaching Kon sex jokes. And in the mirror.

Steph called it the “your puberty was my death sentence” look and insisted every one of the mentors used it. Bruce personally wasn’t convinced Oliver Queen knew what shame meant.

He’d abandoned his son. Bruce would never forgive that until Roy asked him to.

Perhaps he did have more in common with Vlad than he’d thought though. Watching the children get old enough for innuendo sucked.

Luckily Brucie could pretend not to get it.

“I know, he was telling me all about their recent games before you arrived,” he said cheerfully, oblivious as anything. And watched how both responded to innocence.

Vlad still looked pained, possibly by the pair of them now. Danny… Danny was smirking, clearly not convinced.

That was concerning. The boy knew who Nightwing and Signal were, there was a chance he knew Bruce’s identity too and this at least pointed in the same direction.

Still, no need to confirm anything for him. With another cheery wave to Vlad he held the door open for Danny.

“So, shall we? Would you like to take my car or do you have your own way back?” He asked, subtly prodding to see what Danny might say. And perhaps a hint how he’d gotten there.

Danny hesitated for a moment, glancing at Vlad. Like there was something between them, something to do with him.

Yes, Bruce would have to meet with Vlad Masters again in future. After he’d gotten to speak to Danny.

“I’ll come back with you,” Danny said with a shrug, nodding towards the door and then moving through it at Bruce’s wave.

He kept half an eye on the boy as they headed down to the restaurant’s garage and the sleek black car Bruce had driven over.

It’d be at least twenty minutes to drive back to the manor at this hour, maybe longer. Time enough for a short interrogation.

“I already messaged the others and told them to get started without us, I hope you don’t mind,” he said in his best charming Brucie voice, beeping the car to unlock it.

Danny shrugged, moving around to the passenger door, apparently entirely unbothered by bare feet on freezing concrete. Bruce almost wished he had some spare shoes for him.

“Yeah, it’s cool. I figured. So, any idea how long it’ll be to get back?” He asked, slipping into the car and sitting cross legged on the front seat.

Bruce followed suit, turning on the car and then the heat right away. Doing what he could.

“Probably not more than twenty minutes. Your seat is heated too by the way, here. You made it down very quickly, were you in the area?” Bruce asked, watching Danny from the corner of his eye as he strapped in.

Would Danny just tell him?

He’d not been hiding from the boys. If he really didn’t think this had to be a secret, he could just tell Bruce.

Danny shrugged again, opened his mouth, and Bruce’s phone rang, cutting him off.

His phone should be on silent. Bruce gave Danny an apologetic smile, pulling it out and planning to push the caller to voice mail. Wondering if he might have turned the ringer back on without meaning to. Or if Oracle had pushed through.

There was no one else he needed to talk to more than Danny right now.

Of course the universe would mock him for that thought.

The caller ID blinked accusingly up at him from the lock screen.

John fucking Constantine.

Bruce hesitated for a moment. Torn. The mystery or the responsibility?

Any other member of the Justice League would be ranked as a more reliable source of information than a possible suspect, but after the night Bruce had had? After what he’d learned?

The problems in Amity Park may have begun or ended with Danny Fenton, but the problems in the Justice League traced neatly back to John Constantine.

When it came down to it, Bruce knew he had a responsibility.

He gave Danny another, more apologetic smile.

“So sorry… do you mind if I take this quickly?” He asked, holding the phone carefully so Danny couldn’t see the screen.

The boy’s face cracked into a grin and he shrugged a third time, getting comfy in the expensive leather seat.

“Hey, if you keep one eye on the road you’ll be the safest driver I’ve ever ridden with. You don’t wanna be too late though, you’ve got another extra guest for dinner and she seemed real impatient,” he said with a slight smile, turning on his heated seat.

About to get out of the car, Bruce paused again.

“Oh? Who was that?” He asked half rhetorically, already listing the women in his life who could possibly make this situation worse.

Top of the list…

“Harley Quinn.”

Of course.

What did she want now?

Bruce forced himself not to think about it, swinging up and out of the car and holding the phone to his ear.

One disaster at a time. No matter how many the universe was piling in his lap after nearly a month of nothing. He’d known it was too good to be true.

At least the garage was empty, and the car soundproofed. Danny wouldn’t hear a thing.

“Constantine. How did you get this number?”

**

In a secluded corner of the House of Mystery everyone’s favourite magical scapegoat stubbed out a cigarette and reclined back in his seat.

“Oh, is this not fun when people do it to you? And here’s me thinkin’ barging into other peoples’ business was how you lot showed affection,” he said dryly, fingers tapping off the glowing purple ward scrawled on the phone case.

Phone numbers were for plebs.

He could fuckin’ hear Bats grinding his teeth through the phone. And yeah, maybe winding him up further wasn’t the best idea, but fuck it.

If John had good ideas, he’d never have given the fucking Justice League his contact info. Case in point.

Winding up the big Bat was the price they all had to pay for royally pissing him off all fuckin’ night and all fuckin’ day.

Kept an impressive handle on the growl though. Must have been somewhere semi-private.

“Constantine. You’ve been out of touch for more than eighteen hours and there is a serious-”

John cut him off, waving his cigarette around as if he could shush the man from here.

“Oh no no, big boy, you’re not fuckin’ blaming that on me. You’re the one fucking up all my communicators, and you’re going to fuckin’ stop. Now.”

And yeah, maybe he did enjoy the very tiniest inhale of surprise he could hear. Or was that Batsy counting to ten?

“What do you mean.” The trademarked growl was definitely creeping in, private place or not. Well, good. John being too annoying to kill was what kept him alive.

Better spell it out for the fucker though.

“I’m a fuckin’ magician, Batlad. On a couple of Hell’s most fuckin’ wanted lists. I can’t be fuckin’ found by people fuckin’ wishing me fuckin’ harm, and let me tell you how goddamn delighted I am to learn that that now includes you!”

All he’d wanted to do today was drop off some results for the junior spandex brigade about some of the glyphs and wards they’d found at a dig.

Just trying to stop them from blowing their fucking hands off. A humanitarian mission. John fuckin’ hated kids. Handless kids only slightly worse.

And he couldn’t contact a single member of the fuckin’ Justice League because some asshole was trying to use them to hunt him down.

Zatanna had needed to come to the House personally to circumvent the wards she’d helped him build.

(Good to know how well they worked though. Assuming they were working and he’d done something to piss off the big Bat enough that he was out for blood.

There was technically a chance they’d been calibrated wrong and Batsy wanted to bring him ham. Less likely than harm, in John’s humble opinion.)

Still, the only way to unfuck his communications was to find and defuse whatever had pissed the skulky bitch off, and while Zatanna had agreed to drop off his work for the kids, he needed to know what else they’d found.

He so was not going to fucking Alaska in January.

And with that as his alternative, John forced his most chipper smile onto his lips. Apparently people could sense that through phones. Who fuckin’ knew.

“So. You’ve fuckin’ got me. What the hell do you want?”

—————

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[suzukiblu]

More omega Clark and hungry!Kon for @qwertynerd97, whose priorities are obviously Correct, haha.

Clark finishes the dishes and checks in on Jon. He helps him out a bit with the book report he's working on and doesn't think about how Kon has never once asked for help with his own homework but was literally terrified the first time he brought home a bad grade on a test. Clark's tried to offer before and knows Lois has too, but Kon always says he's fine. 

Always says it nervously, too. 

And Clark just doesn't want to push him. Who knows how Lex made the kid feel about needing help or making mistakes or just trying to learn anything that hadn't been forcibly uploaded into his brain? He can't imagine it was ever anything good, given Lex's constant lack of patience for anyone he thinks isn't keeping up with him. Never mind that Kon's a pup; Lex would've expected immediate perfection from him anyway. Especially from a pup with his own DNA. 

So it's no wonder Kon doesn't want to learn or make mistakes in front of them. No wonder he's afraid to bring home a bad test. No wonder . . . 

No wonder a lot of things, honestly. 

Lois takes a break from her article to put away the clean dishes and rant about shitty ethics in local building projects and corrupt council members and also the restrictions of MLA format while Jon giggles into his homework. Clark makes sympathetic noises and tries not to laugh. 

Kon stays in his room and doesn't make a single sound. Clark can't even hear him tapping at his phone screen or playing anything on his handheld. Doesn't even hear him shifting around or his breathing settling into sleep. He's just lying there awake and away, doing absolutely nothing. 

Though he might still be crying. 

Clark's chest hurts–in more ways than one–and he wonders why Kon would rather hide in his room in perfect, motionless silence than be out here with the rest of them. 

He can't help feeling like it's his own fault. Like if he weren't here making Kon think about all the things he doesn't want to talk about, Kon would be tagging after Lois in the kitchen or distracting Jon from his report or just . . . something. Anything. 

Even just sitting quietly on the couch instead of curled up all alone in his room. 

Jon finishes his report, and Lois eyes the freezer speculatively. 

"Dessert?" she suggests. "I think we all deserve ice cream tonight." 

"Do we?" Clark asks, amused. 

"Well, Jon and I do, Smallville," Lois replies with a smirk. "But we'll share with you and Kon, because we're such good packmates like that." 

"Oh, both top three at least," Clark agrees with a laugh, then sweeps back into the kitchen and wraps his arms around Lois to give her a peck on the cheek. She rubs the scent glands in her wrists across the ones in his neck and smirks up at him again, and Jon delightedly takes the excuse to worm in-between them and get himself scented too. 

Clark tries not to concentrate on the fact Kon isn't in here doing the same thing and reminds himself that they need to not push him; that they need to give him space and time and let him come to them. Lex did nothing but push the kid, always demanding something else from him, always demanding more from him, and he absolutely despises the idea of ever, ever treating him a thing like Lex did. 

He just can't do that to him. 

How could he? 

He wants to scent Kon so badly–even more than he wants to nurse him, honestly–but Kon always stays back just out of reach, and stepping into his carefully-established personal space just seems like too much. Too invasive, too disrespectful, too . . . pushy.

Once or twice, when they've responded to disasters or accidents together, Kon had wound up in his arms for one reason or another, and it hadn't ever been any kind of purposeful scenting, but . . .

Clark had liked it. Felt soothed by it. 

And then they'd gone home and Kon had rushed straight into the shower and hadn't come out 'til he'd scrubbed through half a bar of soap, and Clark had barely been able to hold himself back from scenting him deliberately. 

"Go get your brother," Lois tells Jon as she gives him a last scruffing, then gives Clark a quick nuzzle before heading to the freezer. He goes for the bowls and spoons, and Jon runs off to knock on Kon's door. Clark tries not to eavesdrop, but at this distance . . .

"Kon!" Jon calls, and Clark hears a very, very quiet shifting that might be Kon sitting up, or might be him curling up into a ball, or might . . . "We're having ice cream, do you want some?"

"Not hungry," Kon says, short and blunt. Jon wilts a little, then puffs himself back up. 

"It's ice cream, you don't have to be hungry!" he exclaims. Clark very badly wants to get down a fourth bowl, but . . . 

Kon is odd about sweet things, sometimes. Clark's pretty sure he likes them, but sometimes he seems to get upset when he eats them or only takes a bite or two and then runs off with another weak excuse. 

Clark isn't sure if that's something else to blame Lex for, or . . . 

Omega milk is sweet, is the thing. 

And sometimes Kon seems to get upset when he eats sweet things. 

Clark doesn't know if the taste is reminding him of whatever's putting him off Clark's milk or is making him miss Lex's milk or who knows what, but . . . 

But it's just hard not to think about it, sometimes. 

"Not hungry," Kon repeats, and Clark hears him just barely shift his weight against his mattress. Kon never nests or burrows or even messes up his bed that much, but Clark can't help but picture him hiding from them in it; picture him feeling unsafe, and unwilling to leave the only place in the apartment that smells that much like it's his, even if he's never deliberately scented it as his. Can't help remembering the awful sound of that single hitched sob, and, worse, Kon's stuttered heartbeat and held breath after it. Kon's obvious fear that he'd been heard, and whatever he'd thought that might mean. 

Clark doesn't even want to think about what Lex would've done if he'd ever caught the kid crying. His custom-designed "Superman" who hadn't come out the way he'd wanted, who hadn't been as unbeatably powerful as he'd wanted him to be, who hadn't been as impossibly perfect as he'd wanted him to be. Who hadn't been something he could just push a button to control like one of his machines. 

Who he hadn't even fucking named.

No. Clark really, really doesn't want to think about what Lex and that damn green syringe of his would've done. 

[yantalia545]

Yandere Axis + Russia with an accidental pregnancy

Germany:

Oh man, Germany is one of the last people on earth who would want a child. Not that he doesn’t like children. It’s just that he doesn’t know the first thing about them and after years of war and suspicion of others, he’s not the most in touch with feelings. Which is why he took you in the first place.

Germany is a careful man and made sure to take all the precautionary measures he could to ensure this exact thing wouldn’t happen, but lord and behold somehow this child had managed to worm their way past them all. Either this child is persistent or fate just can’t give Germany a break

However it happened, Germany is going to hit the books like he does in any situation he doesn’t understand. No matter how many book, baby help blogs, and news letters he can find though, he just can’t sink the feeling that he won’t be a good enough father to his unborn child. 

He’ll expect the same thing from you. He’s read dozens of times over how naïve parenting is the leading cause of early death and he won’t have that happen to his child. You’ll be expected to read too. He may even sign you up for parenting lessons or get you private trainer if you’re still being house trained. 

Germany had also read the common side effects of going through a pregnancy and is well prepared for that. Ice and heat pads, supporting pillows, pregnancy safe vitamins. He’ll even satisfy any food cravings you may have just as long as you been well behaved and taking your pregnancy seriously. 

If you thought Germany was controlling before you got pregnant then think again. This man is going to literally hover over you to make sure you don’t hurt yourself or your child. He’ll even start controlling your diet to ensure that you give birth to a strong and healthy baby.

When the baby does finally come, all hell breaks loose. Germany will have a hard time adjusting to his new lifestyle of raising a child. He’s just never handled something so small and fragile before. He may have thought you were that way too and that’s why he had to take things into his own hands to protect you, but this is just a whole new level. For the first few weeks, Germany can hardly even hold his own child without thinking of every possible thing that could hurt you or his child.

I hope you enjoyed your time outside while you could because you’re not going to be having any of that for at least the next few years or so. Germany just can’t control his fear of something tremendous happening to the either of you so he’s taking every precaution he can. Heightened security, baby proofing everything in the house, and him only working from home being just a few of the things he’s changed.

The two of you are now his whole world now. Can’t you see that he’s only doing these things because of how much he loves the two of you?

Italy:

Very sneaky this one. He may or may not have either poked a hole in the condom or purposely forgot to put one on the last few times he’s did the deed with you. 

He just can’t help it! He just wanted a little bambina so badly and you kept saying no, so what else could he do! Not even his puppy eyes and hours of dragging you through baby stores would change your mind. How could you not see that tiny human clothes are just so dang cute!?

When you found out about his sneaky deed you were very upset, but it was nothing a little, okay few hours, of forced snuggling couldn’t fix. It may have taken quite a few of those. Italy did start to cry when you started to yell at him, but he would never do anything to hurt you. 

Italy was never one to punish you even before your pregnancy so your mood swings would be dealt with hug therapy and gaslighting. How can you still be mad about it after two weeks!? Shouldn’t you be happy to have a baby?

It has to be a girl. Italy hopes and prays everyday and night of your pregnancy that your child turns out to be a girl. He was nothing more than to dress her up in cute outfits and paint the days away.

Weirdly surprising though, when his little girl does finally arrive he’s an outstanding father; Helping with feedings, changing, and calming down his fussy baby. Italy’s a pro at them all. He may or may not have gotten a lot of advice from Hungary while you were pregnant though. 

Did I mention spoiled. Italy is going to spoil the crap out of his little bambina. Dozens of adorable outfits that match the whole family or just mommy and daughter, a whole room dedicated to art and play, ice-cream before dinner when your child is old enough. There’s little to nothing that he won’t do for you and his daughter. Well, except maybe do anything without him. He just wants to join in on the fun too.

Japan:

Although he wasn’t expecting it, he will use it to his full advantage. Japan will most certainly use your child as a reason to permanently glue to him. It would be a terrible thing to separate or abandon your own child. So many children become traumatized from experiences like that. You wouldn’t want that to happen to your own child now, would you? You want to be a good mother and give your child the best life full of happiness and love.

Like Germany, Japan also doesn’t know the first thing about raising a child, but he won’t ever stop trying to be the best father and give his child someone they can look up to in life.

If you’ve been good, you may be able to use your pregnancy to your own advantage as well. More time outside, picking out your child’s necessities, even foods you’ve been dying to have. Japan would gladly give you them all in order to support a healthy pregnancy and have something to bond over.

Just don’t go thinking that more outside and public time will get you anywhere close to escaping him. With your pregnancy, Japan is going to be more inclined to watching over you and his unborn child. 

If you think he took a lot of photos in the past, then girl you don’t know what’s up cuz it only gets worse the further along you get in the pregnancy. A maternity photoshoot is a must with him. Japan wants to savor every moment he can and use any opportunity he can go get close to you.

When he holds his newborn child in his arms for the very first time, something in him just clicks. It’s like a hole inside him that he didn’t even know was there was suddenly filled. This child. A product of the both of you formed into one being. Is this...what it feels like to be a father? 

Photos. Pictures upon pictures, sketches and paintings alike will be dedicated solely on you and your child. To him, the three of you together are the most perfect moments in his life. Why would he not want to capture every moment he can in permeate ink? And you were so perfect. Watching you with his child never failed to make his heart swell. You’ve even began to open up to him like you did before your kidnapping. Was this just the thing you two needed to bring the two of you together?

Russia:

I could see Russia on both ends of the spectrum. Maybe this was on purpose, maybe it was just because this man has never heard of condoms before, unless it’s to mess with America.

Either way, Russia is going to love every moment of it as well as take advantage of it.

Now that you are bearing his child, there’s no way you can leave him now. This child is the ultimate symbol of your love for each other, so why are you crying? He’s watched you in the past with children,(Most likely without your knowledge), so he knew from the very start of it all that you would make a very fine mother. Your nurturing personality may have been what started his obsession with you in the first place. 

Russia already was the type to keep you close, so of course, that only doubles when he finds out your pregnant with his child. He wants be with you every step of the way and make sure your safe at all times. Nothing bad will ever come to you or his child. 

Speaking of which, you will begin to notice that the staffing around here has been cut tremendously. The only people you notice that are left around here are the Baltics, but don’t count on them. They’ve been wiped into shape long before you even got there of the boundaries they must abide by when around you and to alert Russia of any interactions you guys have.

Don’t get my wrong, the Baltics do feel remorse for you. In fact, their even more horrified for you when finding out about your pregnancy. Or maybe it was due to their fear of a spawn of Russia running around the place. One Russia was already terrifying enough for them, they most certainly don’t need another. 

Security was already close to nonexciting in Russia’s home. After all, no one was better suited to protect you than Russia himself. That and, Russia is easily jealous of others when it comes to you, so he was already looking for ways to minimize your interaction with others.

When your child is finally brought in the world. Russia becomes ecstatic. At last, he finally has the family he’s always dreamed of. He may even breakdown into tears Russia didn’t even know he had when holding his newborn child for the very first time. 

Anything and Everything he does will always involve you and his child. The world outside is cold and harsh, but inside, it’s warmed by the love you all share for each other. At least in Russia’s demented mind. So why would anyone ever want to run or hide away. 

Although, I can’t shake the feeling of how amusing Russia will find it to beat the Baltics for making his child cry. Even if it was because they took away something that could potentially hurt the child. In Russia’s mind, they made one of his most precious possessions cry and now they must be punished! ^J^

He’ll stand over their beaten forms with his trusty metal pipe in one hand and his giggling child in the other. The way they clap their hands and laugh hysterically at their father’s work is more than enough to make Russia smile for the rest of the day. Much to yours and the Baltics horror.

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

mackerel!!!!! good morninnnnnnnng :] sharing my coffee with u :3 anyway. free ticket for whatever worm thoughts ur having!!! 🎫🎫🎫 cell is a fucking rollercoaster so like, u know, whenever u have thoughts w any degree of organization lmao!! the fucking.... charlotte interlude where danny just sits and watches the rest of the undersiders (teenagers)(aisha throwing a bag of chips at grue's head)(grue killed burnscar a member of the slaughterhouse 9)(terrifying)(they're both in demon masks and grue is in black leather)(supervillains who he's been hearing taylor talk about like they're a certain doom for hours)(kids)(people she loves)(she was doing so much for infrastructure for the docks which was also danny's thing) hammer out their game plan means a lot 2 me.... anyway it's been a while since last bothering u abt worm ask!! so. holds microphone up to u. hehehe :3

dude u have literally the most perfect timing ever I JUST finished the lung interlude. lol. Definitely not thinking about it at all. the next arc is called Drone. awesome ! like the fuckign. other word for male bees which have no stinger and are not as useful to the hive as worker bees and cannot even feed themselves without assistance from workers. often used in media to describe a mindless . well. drone. part of a hivemind. awesome loving the implications of this. i need 2 take a fucking BREAK

ANYWAY. CELL. GOD. MAN. FUCK. DEFINITELY *NOT* THE DIRECTION I THOUGHT THAT ARC WAS GOING TO GO. youve pretty much said everything I could possibly say about the Charlotte interlude. I do in fact have a screenshot of the part where imp throws a bag of chips at grues head. and also when they first get there imp and regent immediately start rummaging around for snacks. and they take the bags of gummies that charlotte was planning to put in the kids school lunches the next day. and . fucking RACHEL walking in not with huge monster dogs but with a bunch of puppies on colorful leashes. willingly handing puppies to two basically strangers. willing to go into a room with a bunch of children who don't know how to behave correftly around dogs and letting them play with her puppies. I cant even fucking talk about Rachel and how she's changed since the beginning of the story without getting so overwhelmed with it all i love her so much. I love her SO much dude.

having conflicting emotions about weaver !!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love taylor so much you know this about me. i am very excited to see another side of the heroes and get more insight into the inner workings of both the ward system and also the prt in general (definitely not going to think about nhw) BUT ALSO . I LOVE THE UNDERSIDERS TOO MUCH. IM GONNA MISS THEM SO MUCH. AND!!!! and. I don't know how they feel about this decision yet. I mean they were pretty laid back during their visit but I also know how good they are (esp tattletale) at . not letting onto things . putting up a front to keep appearances. aaughhh.

I want to know what the fuck was in the drawer that dragon showed taylor that made her agree to all of this right away. was it the new mask????? that's my assumption rn. speaking of which as much as I want to squish defiant sometimes I VERY MUCH love his robot girlfriend. defiant can stay as long as I get to see his weird fucked up dynamic with dragon. but he's on thin ice.

I do also really like miss militia.......... she's frustrating as much as the others are sometimes but. I like her. she knows things are fucked and is willing to hear out the other side even if she doesn't always act on it. OH ALSO SPEAKING OF HEROES really excited that parian and fletchette are undersiders now :) I like them.

uhhhhh uh uh uh I made that big long post about self fulfilling prophecies regarding the whole apocalypse in two years thing ,, my thoughts on that have not changed and have in fact been REINFORCED by lungs interlude . he specifically was given a two year time limit. hmm i wonder FUCKING WHY. god. I need to talk to dinah i need a dinah interlude. I need to know what she thinks of all of this

[kaftan]

Post-S9* Worm thoughts!

*Resisted the urge to liveblog it all because I imagine I’m already on thin ice with most of my followers for fixating on old web fiction to the neglect of whatever they’re here for LOL

Still an Amy sympathizer, baby, and it really truly is wildbow’s fault because it didn’t take any effort on my part, she’s literally textually sympathetic

The Incident was perfect horror, worm is so good at horror, actually

Tangential but I have a feeling I am going to have to write the fic where Amy and Victoria star as the main characters of a Metamorphoses story all by myself… guy who has only read metamorphoses and is getting a lot of metamorphoses vibes from The Incident…

Also kinda tangential but if I was Amy and I ran into Tattletale after the events of interlude 11h and some of her first words to me were “I know what you did” I would kill myself in front of her on the spot.

Taylor remains best girl <3333

Alec STAYS goofy

(Literally cannot stop thinking about ‘Hi! I’ve killed hundreds of people and maimed thousands’ and losing it)

The only time I have EVER been given pause about liking a worm character, and yes I’m including Amy in that, is when I was instantly endeared with Cherish and then Alec was like “btw she has forced people to mutilate and kill their kids and made them enjoy it 👍” I was like oh wow I think I might have finally found something that tests the limits of Girl Fun…

I am a simple bitch who got a little choked up when Marquis called Amy his most precious treasure

[yourlocalpickle]

New oc! And a relatively wholesome one too! *she's a victim of the "I don't want to put clothes on this sketch" phenomenon*, but also she does wear heart shaped bikini. for work.

Philadelphia from Tommy Wiseau's The Neighbors was a big inspo ngl.

She's not a stripper. She's actually paid by the king, and responsible for maintaing a sort of day-night cycle in one part of their land! just wanted to draw big chunky heels.

So say hi to Jubie! And imma hide more info abt her and an infodump about swimsuit fish people down here.

Jubie is a monster, one employed by the King to work as a Lightbringer (WIP name). There's a specific type of monsters with a mutation, which leaves them with glowing hair and blood. (their hair's literally transparent veins with blood flowing through)

(A drawing of different Lightbringers, in digital and with their hair out, so we 'get' the vibes. The yellow one is Inkie, one of Jubie's *besties!!1!*, the pink one tho is Morty, and she was made by a friend of mine @firefries !)

They glow so much actually, that yeah, they can light up entire streets. And there's an entire part of the City, placed in the old sewer system. They can't get any light down there. So these Lightbringers are paid to hang out and roam these areas, to simulate a sense of light. Pretty sweet job! Almost all Lightbringers are 'fish people' too, so they love hanging out in murky freezing waters! They wear fun or convienent swimwear 'at work', and to them, it's like getting paid for lazing around on a depressing beach. They also roam the streets, look for any lost or drowning citizens, and guide them to their destination. These fellas have not only glowing hair, but souls too, as they're some of the cheeriest and most excitable people to be around! Who wouldn't be tho, when they stop by an ice cream stand, that still counts as work for them!

Before though, these guys were hunted, to be used as lanterns for humans. For that, they started covering their hair with intricate scarves and 'socks', wrapped all around. These coverings were also used as bonus storage for items. Nowadays, even tho relatively safe, the Lightbringers kept the scarves. They're almost a part of their small culture, and took on a more fashionable direction - with many patterns, pins and bands, the customization and personalization options are truly endless! And these scarves aren't for fashion only. In my world, most people aren't born with the conditions they 'recieve', and so it was for the fish folk who's hair now glows. They were used to darker or 'normal' light, and their hair glows so brightly, it makes seeing in small places with them impossible. And they can't even sleep in so much brightness, it tricks their brains into thinking it's still day. So they wear the scarves essentially everywhere outaside of work. On sunny streets, in stores, at home, ESPECIALLY in bed! And they're quite proud of them!

So Jubie, obviously she LOVES hearts! and the color pink.

She's a very sweet and upbeat girl. A bit absent-minded and loud, but well meaning. She's convinced everybody around her LOVES shopping, getting bubble tea and makeovers! She's got that one way of saying "OH MY GOSHHHHH!" and is the girl who says "HIIIII!!!"

She actually doesn't have fingernails! so she just paints her fingers pink. she makes of it what she can.

She smells like bubblegum and artificail strawberry, all mixed with a hint of fish and mud stank. And oh! Originally, she's got remains of a carp rooted deep down (she was supposed to have a 'moustache' too, but it was messing with the head shape too much) And she's as stupid and indestructible as they are. She's an invasive species on her own. not in a mean way, she just wants everyone to be happy over things she loves and cares about! And once you let her in, she's impossible to get rid of. Also she's an omnivore and will devour literally anything (but mostly bugs and worms. she loves them when they still squirm the most, and she puts marmalade and sprinkles over top!)

Jubie's full and real name is Jubilee Giggles, and whilst everybody gives her weird looks for it, girlie simply used her right and picked a name, which in her eyes sparks hapiness and makes everybody smile.

Jubie also survived The War. She feels for all her brothers and sisters, and comes to mourn them every 6 months. She has lost her own sister and parents. Being left alone and orphaned were another reason for her switching to such a stupid name. She does not want to be reminded of the family she's lost, and in this new world, everybody is grieving for their own loss so much, they won't ever care for her relatives and what they meant.

Jubie has 2 besties so far!! Inkie, a fellow Lightbringer, and Pogo, an actually succesful actress who's on a path to stardom! Together they meet up all around the sewers, and when they're not shopping and enjoying life, they play beach sports, like volleyball! Jubie's also constantly looking for a new gf/bf (nobody can keep up with her!) so those 2 are her cheerleaders in this journey.

Jubie also has an apartment! This queen can provide for herself, and she shares it with another Lightbringer! (He has yet to be designed, but I am SO tempted to name him Chad...) The Chad guy? Just like Jubie looks suitable for pole dancing, Chad flat out looks like a stripper. He works on fixing the electricity and pipes all around the sewers as additional income besides lightbringing. And he's well known for looking like a handyman stripper. Bro's pants keep falling off all the time. And just like Jubie, there's not much in his brain left. Those 2 share a braincell, and they always leave it at home too. Their household is visited often, and all the neighbors know them, for their unmissable glow and appearance. Jubie's friends love to come over to look at Chad, and Chad's friends love to see Jubie too. And through all this, Chad and Jubie's relationship is as asexual as it gets. They see each other as very good friends (besides the fact they both can't clean up their clothes and they always argue over who's the messier one. It's a tie every time.) And they help each other with fixing their scarves every time - because you can never see if the top part is covered well enough! And mutual haircare is actually seen as a very comforting and sweet activity for the fish folk!

Also I said she wasn't a stripper? The heels were drawn before when i was convinced I wanted to draw her in a jean miniskirt. Times change. The shoes were too funny to be erased. But honestly, Jubie knows how to do striptease. So does Chad. They don't mind earning money on the side. And they can order the fanciest fish food in the town when it works out! So it's a steal! And thanks to Pogo's connections, both of them acted in *adult* movies. They thought it'd be fun (also tbf the genre and culture around these things in my world is...different. Half the time there are flamethrowers and mlg effects edited in) and also aren't capable of remembering more than a4 page worth of text/lines.

They stupid, but mean well.

Fish people.

[bookofmirth]

The one thing about the mask though is that the Night Court also doesn't have a right to make the decision either (and arguably shouldn't be the only ones in possession of such weapons). I see so many people saying that Nesta was being disrespectful of the IC by not consulting with them, but even if she did and they came to the conclusion to give it away, then the NC would still be in the wrong.

It opens such a big can of worms. You'd have to literally bring everyone in to make a decision including other HLs, Hybern, the leaders of the continent, etc in order to make that call even justifiable bc the NC wouldn't be the only one screwed over if things went wrong. And we all know how politics go... it'd take like a full century for things to be decided lol.

I'm also not arguing this therefore makes Nesta right to just give it up. But the matter is soo much more complex than Nesta should have talked to Rhys and Feyre first.

Oh I totally agree, that's why I never mentioned the IC specifically as being the people that Nesta should have consulted. This is a much, much bigger issue than just the Night Court's ego. It would make sense for her to consult them, considering they are the High Fae that she knows best in the world and they have a lot of world/political/magical experience, but it's not like they ever trusted her. There was also a sense of urgency when Bryce came through. But - like you said, and the reason I said it being an astronomical mistake is not a metaphor - the repercussions are much, much bigger.

I do think that including the other courts in this decision isn't likely because they are all very territorial and possessive. They all have a "my court comes first" attitude. Which... I get. They can't even get their crap together right now to face Koschei. I can't imagine the other courts learning info about other worlds and being able to come to a consensus about Made objects and how to handle Bryce wanting the mask, in a timeframe that wouldn't fuck Midgard over completely.

That's kinda beside the point of Nesta's role, but tl;dr I agree with you! I think that centering the IC and their feelings in what she did is... an odd choice, considering it's not all about them.

The whole thing feels very shoulda, coulda, woulda - but Nesta was faced with a choice, Bryce was in a hurry, and Nesta did what she did. None of the rest of them were faced with that same choice, so it's quite easy to judge Nesta after the fact.

And just to make some things clear, I have actually never been a huge Nesta fan. She's a really interesting character, but she has made me angry so many times. That fight she and Elain have in acosf, where Nesta throws Greyson in Elain's face and insinuates that Elain is to blame for their father's death? Fuck Nesta specifically in that situation.

However - Nesta has changed a lot from the beginning to acosf, through everything that happens in hofas. A lot. If I knew Nesta irl, I would not be her friend. I would honestly react the way that Mor does - I'd try to be nice, Nesta would be mean to me, and then I'd shrug and say okay fuck you too. But Nesta as a character has experienced a lot of growth and change, and while I do think that not reading hofas means acotar fans might not see that right away, I am excited for everyone to see it in the future.

With this fandom it's either the ship war or it's the IC versus Valkyries war or it's pitting the sisters against each other. Just let us have nuanced fucking takes, ffs. (not you anon, I am just ranting)

[aprillikesthings]

ONE MORE TONIGHT because I remember I really like this episode :D

s2 ep5 White Out

will I hit the image limit with this one

EDIT: nope I post it early by accident, which means I have to reblog it anyway.

damn right, and I love how often Entrapta mentions this--that all experiments/research end with you learning SOMEthing even if it's not what you were hoping/looking for

Anyway they're in an icy wasteland of sorts and Entrapta is researching some First Ones' stuff under the ice and also there's some kind of big worm-like monster outside. All before the intro music.

Does She-Ra not feel the cold or what

I refuse to screenshot Scorpia's attempt at asking out Catra it's too painful

I knew it was the same thing that fucked with the robots and She-Ra in Dryl!!

I love how I can remember that this episode is the one where Adora acted SUPER violent and then really dumb and drunk but I couldn't remember WHY

but yeah telling this to Catra was A Mistake

Entrapta: "also she got very floppy"

FLOPPY?!

Side note, but it makes sense Catra hates it up there more than Scorpia or Entrapta; cats have a higher body temperature than humans. But wait, scorpions are cold-blooded? Maybe Catra's just a whiner about being cold. (So am I.)

I mean yeah Catra's being a dick here BUT THEN:

It took me WAY too many times to get that literal split-second of her reaction to Adora's voice before she gets herself back under control. Her ears even do a wiggle.

Look I know they were setting us up for these two to be endgame the whole time. But it still amazes me how much they made it so, SO OBVIOUS in all these little ways they could've skipped and didn't. The little ear wiggle and her tiny moment of shock? They didn't have to put it there, and they did. They could've just made her immediate reaction fury or frustration. But nope.

And we see her eyes narrow in a really close-in shot, like she has to take a second and remember they're on opposite sides, before Catra turns around with her usual cocky expression.

but also look at Entrapta's face lol

I love it when they make her look just a little deranged. Because she is.

I do wonder the extent to which everyone else is like "why are these two so obsessed with each other" (I think people comment on that later?)

HOW AM I JUST NOW NOTICING THESE TWO ARE NARRATIVE FOILS they are, right? right?? or am I just reading too much into both of them having unrequited crushes

Bow: "You don't understand the forces you're messing with!" Entrapta: "I know! That's the fun of it!"

augh I couldn't get the shot of Catra's surprised face

yeah I'm probably gonna go over the image limit on this one

THAT'S NOT GOOD

oh boy

Virus!She-Ra: *tries to hurt her own friends* Catra: "This is the greatest thing that's ever happened" Virus!She-Ra: *hears her, turns around, and runs towards Catra*

BIG MISTAKE

I can't screenshot it, but holy shit you really see the degree to which She-Ra normally isn't trying to actually hurt Catra any more than necessary, because of how violent she is when she's possessed by the virus. Like, this version of her would in fact just straight-up stab Catra or chop off her head or something. Normally She-Ra settles for punches or self-defense--her goal isn't hurting Catra per se but trying to stop the harm she's doing.

But this version of She-Ra? Would do a murder, no problem

that is 100% an appropriate reaction!!

Anyway Scorpia manages to separate her from her sword, and Adora goes back to normal size and not possessed. And is out cold.

okay but did you mean for that to sound so suggestive, Catra? did you?? do you even KNOW??

(...did I just get a plot bunny for the kind of fic that would get me hate mail)

(I've written stuff with a major archive warning before and I could do it again)

speaking of ships eheheheheh

Poor Scorpia is just like "do we have to have your ex around even as a weapon" and is also I think just uncomfortable with how nasty Catra is being

But also Catra's face here is too good

I just imagine Hordak being like, "oh YOU'RE obsessed with the blonde girl, too??? And I thought Shadow Weaver had a problem."

Edit: guess who accidentally hit the wrong buttons on her keyboard and posted it. Anyway continued in the reblog.

[thessalian]

Astrid vs Favours for Friends

On the road

Astrid: And we're sure your devil came this way?

Wyll: Absolutely. Just ... oh. That looks bad.

Astrid: Oh. Oh dear. He looks bad.

Badly Mauled Dwarf: You ... Pure ... servants of the Absolute... *dies*

Astrid: Um ... Shadowheart, I don't think words of healing are going to cut it for this.

Dwarf's Companions: Command us! What do we do now?

Astrid: Maybe ... don't stand around to get mauled by owlbears?

Dwarf's Companions: As you say! *exit, stage Somewhere Else*

Gale: This is getting stranger by the--Astrid, what are you doing?!?

Astrid: *digging parasite out of dead dwarf ocular socket* Something incredibly gross and that I really don't want to be doing but guess what? BRAIN-WORM DOESN'T FUCKING CARE!

Shadowheart; Gale; Wyll: Owowowow!

Astrid: Oh. I did the voice again, didn't I. Sorry. Look, just ... can we move on from this? This is really gross.

Gale: ...I hope she's going to be alright. She's not the sort that deals well with ... that ... sort of thing.

Shadowheart: I spy the perfect solution. *taps Astrid on the shoulder* There's a dog over there that looks in desperate need of comfort...

Astrid: ...........Puppy! *nyoom*

Gale; Wyll: .....................

Shadowheart: Shar doesn't bless stupid clerics.

A little further on, in a fort sort of half full of paladins of Tyr

Anders: Some devil-woman did this! I want her head!

Wyll: Karlach. Typical. Point the way.

Anders: I ... was going to offer you this sword if you bring back her head, so--

Astrid: It's ... sort of not necessary? We were going to do this anyway? Because ... you know, reasons? Also I don't think any of us can heft that thing since we made the githyanki go bye-bye.

Shadowheart: More like "githyanki go splat-spurt", but as you like.

Anders: If you bring me her head I am giving you this sword and you are not arguing with me about it.

Astrid: How about I just point you to the body so you have some piece of mind, and you keep your big stabby thing?

Anders: *glares*

Astrid: Okay, okay! Yeesh.

And, a little ways down the river

Astrid: ...She's got one of these parasites too? Were they having some kind of sale?

Wyll: Wait. I'm not sure she's strictly speaking a ... devil, as I understand them, from what I'm seeing in her head. But--

Astrid: Look, I don't know what's going on or what set you to killing her in the first place, but ... remember about sixty metres of carnage spread hell-for-breakfast across the road, and the bridge, and the inn?

Karlach: ...Fuck.

Stabnation: *ensues*

Later, at camp

Minora: Hello there!

Astrid: Um ... who invited the literal demon? I mean, phenomenal entrance, but ... you know, if you'd let me know you were coming, I would have set out another plate.

Wyll: ...Astrid, this is Minora, my ... my patron. Minora, this is Astrid, the apparent leader of this merry band of misfits.

Minora: Anyway, puppy, I just wanted to thank you for taking care of that silly little tiefling for me--

Wyll: So she really was a-- But you said it was just--!

Astrid: Wyll. Chill. Gnolls are kind of nasty but they are not finger painting materials. Though you could have just told me you're a warlock.

Wyll: I guess I thought ... well, if you knew where I got my powers, it'd be ... well...

Astrid: Wyll. Sweetie. I got my powers through the incredible power of swear words. We all have some weird.

Minora: ...Look, just take the shiny armour, remember the pact still stands, and I'll be in touch.

Astrid: *shouting down the literall hole to hell* Please call first, with a list of dietary requirements! We don't do souls, though; sorry!

Wyll: You are taking this remarkably well.

Astrid: Mind flayer tadpole. *taps temple* In head. Everything else is just icing on the Weird Cake.

Camp again, after a particularly hard day

Everybody: *apparently sleeping peacefully*

Astarion: *creeeeeeeps up to Astrid*

Astrid: *eyes still closed* Consent is a thing, Astarion...

Astarion: Oh. Shit. No, it's not what you think!

Astrid: I think you were going to suck my blood, is what I think.

Astarion: ...Oh. So it is what you think. How did you--?

Astrid: The "being in sun, crossing running water, crossing thresholds without an invitation" thing threw me for awhile, but remember, I got within head-butting distance of those teeth. Also I saw one of your meals - exsanguinated boar was not the ugliest thing I saw out there today, by the way. So ... I figured I guess you're trying to feed on me because you don't want to eat redcaps, or swamp rats like your master might have made you--

Astarion: ...Wait. You just dug that out of my head.

Astrid: Sorry, but ... even if I don't like using the various little niggles this parasite seems to be giving me ... you and I both know you were going to lie to me.

Astarion: Look, my master made me eat vermin, yes, but no, ordinarily I'd be fine to hunt! Just I left it too long and am too weak to hunt properly ... and also yes, you're right, anything I'd eat from here would probably poison me.

Astrid: Well, you could have asked first.

Astarion: I mean, yes, but honestly, you would have said no, and--

Astrid: *raises eyebrows*

Astarion: Wait. You ... wouldn't ... have said no?

Astrid: You remember that whole thing where everyone complains about my being an altruist? But yeah, that's why I started with 'consent is a thing, Astarion'. We need ground rules and a safe word but I don't want you to starve.

Astarion: ...Hot dog.

Astrid: Also because it keeps your fangs off Scratch.

The next morning

Wyll: You let him WHAT?!?

Gale: My sentiments precisely.

Shadowheart: I mean ... probably better this way, because we'd all just stake him, but ... if you kill her--

Astarion: I know, I know, smear across the landscape. Not that it'd be noticeable in this swamp anyway, but I take your point. I won't overstay my welcome in that regard.

Astrid: Oof. Yeah, that can't be a too-often thing. I'm glad that the success of most of what I cast is down to them resisting, not me having to aim anything...

Shadowheart: *glares at Astarion* I've got your back with Guidance cantrips. But ... how about we take on that hag after you've had a rest and some red meat? Replenish what you've lost, hmm?

Astarion: Aww, but you heard her. Most of hers is about resisting, and I would love to kill something right now.

Gale: Fine. But she gets to perch in the shadows slinging arrows ... or insults, whatever takes her fancy, and you get to be right in something's face!

Astarion: *griiiiiiins*

Gale: While I wish Astrid had said something sooner, I have to wonder why we didn't see this sooner. I mean, look at him!

Astrid: ...Gale? You ... should really pay more attention to the reading material I hand you...

Gale: Wait. What? *digs through expanded book collection* ..."Dhampir For Dummies"?

Astrid: Well, I wasn't going to actually out him; that's rude! Making sure you had all the information needed to connect the dots, though? That's common sense.

Gale: You've known her ... slightly longer than I have. Is this just ... how she is?

Shadowheart: Yes.

Astarion: Look, if you really want honesty, just consider that her blood is delicious, and if she dies? I don't get it anymore. If you can't believe anything good about me, how about believing that I will always, eternally act in my own self-interest, and that means protecting the leader and face-person who also happens to have truly ambrosial blood, hmm? If you need help imagining that, please understand that her safe word is "knickerweasels".

Gale: ...We should go after that hag. I think Astarion needs to recognise what he's in for if he presses his luck.

Wyll: Oh... you mean when she threw two redcaps about five metres with Thunderwave by clapping her hands together and shouting ... what was it, "yeet"?

Astrid: ...It worked with goblins. Redcaps are similarly aerodynamic.

Astarion: Oh I have to see this let's go kill something!

Gale: Right. So cheerfulness is a blood-borne pathogen. Good to know.

[decepticon-nerd]

My problem with Pokémon right now is that most of these past generations (SwSh, BDSP, and now SV) have been hyped up to the degree of making you want to shell out between $60.00-$120.00 USD but have come out quite lackluster, but by the time you find that out, Pokémon, Game freak, Nintendo, whoever the hell owns it now. They've already made that money.

I'm gonna gripe about them and this is my personal opinion. I will state now that I am a long time fan of Pokémon; the first game I played was Gold and the first game I bought for myself was Diamond. I am old enough to remember when Black and White 1 had commercials on TV (which is saying something because my memory is atrocious) and I've played at least one game from every generation.

In other words my post is probably gonna be biased.

I had some fun playing Sword and Shield. The plot was decent enough to keep me interested, as were the cool designs of a handful of new Pokémon. Snom, Obstagoon, and Corviknight are my favorites from that generation, probably. The starters are all lackluster and I usually shove them in my box after catching something else. And in terms of designs, can someone please tell me what the fuck Pokémon was thinking when they made Swordward and Shieldbert?

The wild area we were promised wasn't as expansive as we thought, the weather feature was weird as heck, the render distance was abysmal. So they release a DLC for the Isle of Armor and the Crown Tundra. Genuinely love the DLC and how much more you can explore. I don't remember how much the DLC was, but it was like.. $30.00 USD or something to get both of them.

The DLC gave us back one beloved feature that the game devs have failed to provide since Gen 4. Pokémon could walk with us again. You could only walk with them on the Isle or in the Tundra, though. I essentially payed $30.00 for one of my favorite features and said feature ran like shit. My Golisopod walked at a treacherously low speed and I outpaced it by walking. Not to speak of your faster Pokémon that sprinted at you with malicious intent every five seconds if you didn't outpace it.

I don't remember if Let's Go Eevee/Pikachu came out before or after this, but the feature worked perfectly in those games (to my knowledge; it's been a while!) Unless your Pokémon got stuck on something.

The plot of Sword and Shield was kept hidden from us really until the very end. The "big bad team" we got were insignificant flies that tried to trip us up every step of the way. And the Team Yell admin was literally just another gym challenger. I love Marnie and I love Piers but I don't think Team Yell was plot relevant, just extremely annoying.

The games going oh here's this evil team leader BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE started in Sun and Moon but I think it worked there purely because that was new. It was new, it was unique, it was done well, and Guzma got to call us idiots. They keep trying to do that now in different ways and it just doesn't hit for me. I want to go back to one super bad team (or two, in an Aqua Magma scenario) where they try to bring back an ancient deity and everything goes to shit. That's what Pokémon was.

BDSP was literally a copy paste of the file data from DP because there's apparently a bug present in BDSP that was patched in Platinum. Also, it's apparently super easy to a void glitch now, and you can fly on a surfing bidoof. And you can soft lock yourself in the ice gym. There's so many other bugs but those are the ones I remember.

My biggest gripes about the game are the fact that I payed double now what I did for the originals in the past for what was essentially the exact same thing with a few extra bells and whistles (and bugs), and whatever the fuck this was supposed to be.

Garchomp is supposed to be intimidating, and I guess from an in game view that would be, but I just stared at it going what the fuck did they do to him. He's t-posing. At least he keeps up with the player I guess. Not to mention all the models are miniscule. Rayquaza looks like a worm following the player.

And speaking of intimidating, what in god's name did they do to Cyrus.

I'm supposed to be intimidated by this emotionless man but he looks like a chew toy.

I love Diamond and Pearl. I hate having to tear a remake of it down like this. My disappointment was immeasurable, to be sure. I waited so long for a remake and we got this joke. Nothing changed. Yeah the underground is bigger, but what about the special gimmicks? No mega evolution, no dynamax?

And I don't think anyone has really talked about it because we immediately got Legends Arceus out and I will say right now I have put an ungodly amount of hours into that game and still haven't beaten it because Munchlax fucking sucks to find. I know where to find it, it just hates me. Yeah the Pokémon don't follow you, but that's probably preferable to them not being able to keep up. My favorite things about the game were that Pokémon actually got near each other in battle to hit each other, and that to could spam Pokéballs and not fight. Pokémon felt like a proper threat. You had to dodge them to stay alive.

It felt like a proper Pokémon game again, with one bad guy (in this case Volo) trying to end the world just so he can see God because he's too much a fangirl. The game revamped old characters, brought back a familiar face (Ingo my beloved) and gave us a plot worth fighting for. I tell you I squealed when the player got exiled and I was immediately brought back to PMD. Sure there were the bandit sisters, and again, the devs led us to believe they were the bad guys in advertising but they were just stupid pests that had no idea what they were doing.

My favorite things were immediately taken away in Scarlet and Violet. Yeah it's an open world. It's expansive. It's fun. Pokémon still run at you. I can't jump out of the way anymore, I have hop on my bike god and drive away. You can sneak, but what's the point when you have to battle the Pokémon to catch it anyway? Pokémon are practicing social distancing again, apparently. The sprites don't get near each other to attack anymore.

And the designs oh God the designs.

Dunsparse can evolve! He just gets longer and gets a pointier chin. What's Pawmi evolve into? Oh, it just stands up and gets anime hair. Speaking of anime hair, Primape apparently cosplays Dragon Ball Z when it dies. Lechonk was cute, I bet it evolves into something cool. Nope, just a slightly bigger pig with mascara. The pseudo-legendary is a joke among Gods. Cetoddle is cute, and Cetitan would be cool if it's mouth wasn't above its eyes. Love the fact that we have a mimic now. You need 999 gold coins to evolve it into a Dammit Doll. Half the Pokémon have a plastic face glued on a round orb of a head with zero protruding facial features like, I don't know, a snout or a nose? There's a flamingo that's just a flamingo, nothing special about it. Also we apparently get to fight literal cars and engines now! Have we reached the point of Pokémon Gun?

Not to mention that Pokémon following is back! It sucks again. Lots of Pokémon can't keep up with the player or Miraidon (I have Violet.) Meowscarada apparently has the zoomies and might be the exception.

SV: How many technical issues do you want us to have

Game Devs: Yes

They're also doing the misleading bad guy plot again and I can't tell if I should trust Turo or not. I haven't even physically met him in game yet.

The game has potential. I am just so unbelievably disappointed that the devs hid the pathetic Pokémon they were creating until leaks came out. I didn't think half the leaks were real, they all looked so farfetched. My team has ended up comprised almost entirely of old Pokémon that I treasure. That being said, all of them were hard to find so I basically played the entire game with just Meowscarada (because I've found that I don't hate it that much in motion) and Talonflame. My favorite Pokémon Absol isn't even in the game. I doubt we're ever getting the Nat Dex back, which means I can't play with all my old Pokémon friends together anymore.

I don't know how many more new Pokémon games I'm going to play. I feel like I've been let down too many times recently. I'm almost done with Violet, I think, because I never do the dex anyway. I'll catch my version exclusives and give them to my friends but when I beat the game I can't say if I'll pick it up again or not. And if I do, it might be solely so I can watch what's his name heal his dog with herbs again.

[walmart-the-official]

Alrighty, finally getting around to doing this. William Afton is the main antagonist of the game series Five Nights at Freddy’s (also the movie but that’s another can of worms), despite the fact that he’s never a direct threat while “alive” (the alive part is very important, I’ll get to it later). He’s also a tumblr sexyman despite canonically looking like this

(fig. 1) his graphic novel design is not better but I do want to share my least favorite image of him from there

(fig. 2) At least he looks good in the fanart?

Before getting a confirmed named, around 2016, he was known as the Purple Guy. His fanon name was Vincent and he was obsessed with toast due to his badge looking like a piece of toast (see fig. 1 FNaF 2)

He opened Fredbear’s family diner alongside Henry Emily, iirc in 1983. He also has three kids and no one knows literally anything about his wife or if he even ever had one (unless you believe her to be represented by Clara in the in-game series The Immortal and the Restless). William Afton is also an entirely shitty father! In some fanon you’ll see him being a good father, even I like to write aus where he is, however, if we go purely on canon he’s just an all around piece of shit.

He hits Elizabeth (his daughter) at least once in the books and she barely exists in the entire canon (I know I said I was going to stick to the games but the books have most of the lore) except as his favorite. He’s also neglectful to the point where one of his sons accidentally killed the other. Oh yes, and the one that died? He put a speaker and camera in his favorite stuffed toy to spy on him and use the bear to talk to him and instill fear and doubt. Then the other son he indirectly killed but we’re not quite to that part yet. Nearly forgot about one more thing in the books, he used a nightmare gas to intentionally experiment on his kids and give them nightmares!

So, after the one son gets killed (Crying Child), William goes a bit crazy and decides to murder Henry’s daughter, Charlie Emily! After that he murders a few more kids (at least five) and stuffs them in animatronic suits which they end up possessing and then they kill him but we’re not there yet

Somewhere between child murder, William decides to build the Funtime animatronics. There are four of them, but the only relevant one is Circus Baby (ignore the smaller animatronics those are biddy babs)

(fig. 3) This is a robot he told Elizabeth not to go near but also told her that it was made just for her and that it can make ice cream. But of course, Elizabeth being a small child goes up to Circus Baby and promptly gets killed because William made the Funtimes to murder MORE children because when kids die it produces Remnant which no one really knows what it does and it’s a complicated and weird road to go down right now. But basically he’s experimenting with it

This is already super long so I’m just going to rush through the rest of the explanation and then lmk if you have anymore questions. William goes back to one of the multiple Freddy’s restaurants and gets killed in the Spring Bonnie suit (fig. 2 once more) rots in a back room for thirty years, FNaF 3 happens and he tries to kill the player after being brought into a horror exhibit. Burns down. He returns as Scraptrap in FNaF 6, tries to kill the player again, THAT place burns down, and then one of the kids he killed traps him in hell (play through this experience Ultimate Custom Night!) and that’s the end of William Afton, right?

Of course not. Apparently Remnant can also make a digital copy of people with their memories and all and so now we have Glitchtrap as the main villain for a few games taking over a couple brains and doing a bit of murder but he’s probably gone now. There was also one where there was Burntrap which might’ve also been him but that might’ve been retconned and anyway the Mimic the main villain now

Sorry this took forever I completely forgot and then had to keep taking breaks and saving it as a draft hopefully it makes sense, but like I said, ask me if you have any questions

Still don’t know what he has to do with cannibalism though tbh

Hmm cannibalism

[wellsbering]

ds9 is great for many reasons and one of them is you don't need to explain lore when describing it to non-trek fans bc no matter how much you do, it'll still make no fuckin sense.

like you could go into the trill and symbionts and all the nuances of their culture, but at the end of the day you're still left with "hot young lady has a worm in her belly and she was an elderly man last week." there's no way to avoid "he's made of goo so he's just kind of pretending to have a face, and he does a decent job of it but he still has no lips (not in the old-white-lady way, i mean he literally does not have any lips at all; his mouth just kind of Happens without warning) also he sleeps in a bucket but he doesn't sleep he just turns back into goo for a while."

there is absolutely no way to describe half of these characters without sounding like a complete and utter lunatic, and that's the beauty of deep space nine. because YES the capitalism troll is horny on main way too often and YES one of the fan favorites is a lizard alien who (despite living in the 24th century, and being a fucking lizard alien from Imperialism And Fascism: The Planet) speaks every line of his dialogue in such a way that you could easily convince me it came from a gay-coded film noir villain in the 1940s played by peter lorre.

these are not Weird Campy Flaws we overlook because we enjoy the big brain serious social commentary/philosophy/etc on this show. Oh no my friend. These are all *features*. this is the icing on the fucking cake. what do you MEAN you don't think every show needs at least one very horny milf to show up occasionally and cause chaos with telepathy and couture fashion? shut the fuck up and look at this dude wearing bowling alley carpet

[teddy06writes]

sapnap x reader where the readers first language is greek and they confess to him in greek without knowing he speaks it too ? i love ur writing btw !! :)

sapnap x reader

first of all, this is such a cute idea and I love it, second of all, I DO NOT KNOW GREEK, so apologize in advance for anything google translate gets wrong

trigger warnings: some swearing, drinking

(y/n/n)- your nickname

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You’d first seen him from across the quad, whilst searching for a distraction from the boring chattering of your mother on the phone, the dirty blonde man also lost in conversation with the brunette who’d walked beside him.

You continued to watched them on their path through the mess of kids on benches or even the ground, tracing his familiarity to one of your lectures on software design.

What surprised you most, was when he looked over, and smiled at you, he’d caught you in the act of staring at him, and smiled.

You smiled back, not to be impolite, and were pulled back to reality by your mothers voice in your ear, “(y/n), είσαι εκεί? ή έχει πετάξει το κεφάλι σου στα σύννεφα;” (Are you there? Or has your head flown off in the clouds?)

“Είμαι εδώ μαμά.” (I’m here mama) you sighed.

~~

The next time you saw him was at a party some frat house on the other side of campus was throwing.

You hadn’t planned on going, seeing as you barley knew the boys in the frat, and your friends, well, at this college anyway, were nonexistent, but hey, free booze.

So that's how you found yourself, leaning against the living room wall, cup in hand, watching the beer pong game happening in the center of the room.

Taking another sip of your drink you did a mental walk of the room, making mental note of the people you knew, and then there he was again, definitely less than sober, calling dibs on playing the loser of the game.

You watched, amused as the game ended, and he quickly took the place of the loser, taunting the other guy loudly.

Three games (and several beers) later he was still winning, loudly yelling that he could beat anyone at the party.

Unable to help yourself you stepped forward, “I’ll have a go then.”

He looked you up and down proclaiming, “Easy win.”

You smirked, moving up to the table.

The game began, and his confidence quickly wore down, as all your shots either landed, or came very close.

The last few were neck and neck, but soon it was down to three left on your side, and only one left on his.  

Desperately, his first shot got one of yours and you quickly chugged it down, still smirking at him.

You raised an eyebrow as he lined up his next shot, and his eyes flicked to yours just long enough to cause him to miss.

You bit back a grin, easily sinking the last shot, “I’ve bested the beast.”

The people who had been spectating cheered, and the brunette who you’d seen with him before started to laugh his ass off, “They fucking got you Nick!”

“Yeah, I’m aware.” He sounded all too sober for someone who should’ve been that drunk.

You chuckled, turning and disappearing into the crowd.

A half hour later you were half way out the door, not bothering to pull on your jacket, the relative amount of dinking you had done still making your cheeks feel warm.

“Wait! Wait!” He- Nick, you reminded yourself, came half stumbling down the road, “I wanted to say good game.”

“That was half an hour ago.” You laughed.

“Still- i- sorry, what is your name?”

“(y/n), I’m in your intro to software design.”

“I’ve never seen you in there before,” He looked confused, “Which group do you sit with?”

“I don’t really have friends.” You shrugged.

Nick frowned, quickly holding out his hand for a shake, “Hi, I’m Nick, I’m your friend now.”

You looked at his outstretched hand confused, “Yeah o-kay. Your drunk, I’m tipsy and if I’m lucky you won’t remember this in the morning. I don’t really do friends here.”

He nodded as if paying attention, but then said, “You have an accent.”

You nodded, “Yup, I’m leaving now.”

~~

You didn’t see him again after that, for nearly three weeks, and you were beginning to think he really had forgotten, that is, until he approached out out side of the lecture hall, “Hey!”

“Yeah?”

“(y/n) right? Your the one who beat me at beer pong. And then walked away when I asked about your accent.”

You rolled your eyes, “You didn’t ask you literally just stated I had an accent.”

“Well I’m not wrong! I meant to ask why- well not why- just, are you an exchange student or?”

You adjusted your laptop bag on your shoulder, “This isn’t high school. We don’t have exchange students.”

“Well, are you studying abroad then?”

“I’m an American. I can’t study abroad in my own country.”

He looked slightly confused, “Sorry- it’s just with your accent I assumed.”

“I wasn’t born here if that helps.” You turned and started away, pulling out your phone as it started to ring, “Ναι μαμά; Έχω μαθήματα σύντομα, τι συμβαίνει;” (Yes mama? I have class soon, what's wrong?)

~~

“Why are you always alone all the time?”

You groaned, looking up from the firewall system assignment you’d been testing on your tablet, to see Nick, “I’m working.”

“And I’m asking a question,” He sat down at the otherwise empty table, “Why are you always alone?”

“I told you, I don’t have friends here.” You ran the breaker code again, seeing if it could illuminate any unseen holes.

“You were at the party, surely you knew someone there, otherwise you wouldn’t have gone.”

“σκατά“ You muttered, a new problem in the chain arising, “It was an open house party, I heard about it from people I know.” (shit)

Nick frowned, “Oh, thats-”

“Sad, tragic, depressing? Yeah I’m aware.” You sighed.

You saved the project, shutting off your tablet and looking around the empty cafeteria, “Isn’t it like, wicked late? Why are you here?”

“Why’re you?” he countered.

“World’s asleep.” You muttered, packing up the rest of your stuff, “Why do you keep making such an effort to talk to me?”

“Cause we’re friends remember? Shook on it.”

“I never shook your hand.” You grumbled, standing up.

~~

“You know that I’m right!” Nick exclaimed.

“Maybe! But I don’t want to admit it!”

Over the course of a few month Nick had crawled, kicked and wormed his way into your life, all but forcing you to become his friend, and surprisingly, you didn’t mind all that much.

Now you were sitting out on the roof of your dorm, looking up at the night sky.

“I swear your fucking nocturnal dude! Like an owl! And I willingly give up my sleep to hang out with you!”

You hesitated, feeling a sudden jolt of a realization, and as suddenly as a lighting strike, you were falling in love.

You fumbled to recover, “Well you’re the one who went out of your way to become my friend.”

“I mean, too be fair I was drunk.”

“But still went out of your way to be my friend once you were sober.” You pointed out.

“Hey, drunk me makes good decisions sometimes.” He laughed, looking over at you.

You let out a sigh, watching the white wisps of your breath drift up in the sky, “That’s the thing I’ve never got over.”

“What? Drunk me making interesting decisions?”

“The cold,” You said simply, “I’ve lived here half my life, but the cold still doesn’t make sense to me.”

He laughed, “This is Texas, it’s not nearly as cold as it gets up north. Snow’s much more common for now, up there.”

“I’ve never seen snow. Mama doesn’t like it much,” You laughed, “The first time I really heard about it it sounded so strange.”

Nick smiled, “Lets go up north during winter break then. I know people up there, we can go do winter tourist things.”  

“Winter tourist things?”

“Yeah,” He chuckled, “Go ice skating, look at lights, sleigh rides, all that.”

You laughed, “Winter Tourist things.”

~~

A month and a half had passed, your sudden change in feelings toward your only friend on campus had not.

If anything they had just gotten worse, and now, the thing you still couldn’t wrap your head around, you were tossing your suitcase into the back of his car, about to head on your way to the airport, because yes, the Winter Tourist thing stuck.

“Dude, I’m so excited! This is gonna be epic!”

You nodded, “You know, thinking about it, it actually is possible I’ve seen snow, like when I was little. It just never lasted long.”

Nick scrunched up his nose, “Well it’s too late to duck out now!”

“I never said I was ducking out.” You laughed.

~~

The trip had gone pretty well, the snow in the northeast was certainly different than that of Macedonia, but you didn’t think it was all Nick had said it would be.

Still you had enjoyed wandering around the city looking at Christmas lights, attempting to ice skate, and just enjoying each others company.

It seemed like every minute you spent with Nick, you teetered closer to the edge, knowing that by the end of this trip you’d be head over heels for him, if you weren’t already now.

Now you were quietly sitting on the balcony of your hotel room, hands cradled around the warm cup of hot chocolate you’d made, looking out into the swirling darkness above the city.

“You know your gonna freeze if you stay out here.” Nick moved through the door and sat beside you, draping part of a blanket around your shoulders.

“I know.” You sighed.

He looked at you, concerned, “What’s wrong?”

“Νομίζω ότι ερωτεύομαι,” You murmured, a quiet confession, more so to yourself than to him, “και αυτό με τρομάζει.”  (I think I’m falling in love with you... and that terrifies me)

You started to sigh as he looked confused, though only for a moment, because “Τι είναι τόσο τρομακτικό για την αγάπη;” He asked softly. (What’s so scary about love?)

You froze, almost dropping your cup, “ε-ε-ε, εσύ- μιλάς ελληνικά;” (uh- y- uh, you-  you speak Greek?)

“λίγο,” He smiled, “Είσαι ερωτευμένος μαζί μου;“ (A bit... you’re in love with me?)

“λίγο.” (A bit), you breathed, trying to ignore the small space between you seemingly shrink.

“Νομίζω ότι είμαι λίγο ερωτευμένος και εσένα.” He chuckled. (I think I'm a bit in love with you too)

Your breath hitched, and your quickly bridged the small gap between you to kiss him, smiling into it a bit as he kissed back.

“How long?” He asked softly when you pulled apart.

“When you first brought up the trip. You said that you were willing to lose sleep to hang out with me,” You chuckled nervously, “You?”

“Second week of school, you were on the phone with someone, and you smiled back at me,” Nick grinned, “I saw you from across the quad and knew.”