#often i saw people in my art program write them off as boring or a stepping stone to something better.......which like i do too sometimes

[ghosthoodie]

you guys dont understand how much i lovee ordinary/casual/almost unremarkable still lives i think its so beautiful...it really puts into perspective what small things you wouldnt notice if you didnt painstakingly render them with brush onto canvas...

[purplesurveys]

1269

Last thing you bought online? Did you like it? OMG OMG so I got Angela an Army Bomb!!!!!! for her birthday!!!! It was HELLLL looking for sealed ones that were already onhand, but fortunately I was able to find one from this really nice seller a few days ago and the shipping was quick as well. I’m just a little worried because the outbox has a little dent on it :( but it was the best onhand offer I could find so I got it before anybody could call dibs. I still hope she likes it! I got her batteries too so that she can try lighting it up as soon as she has it. :D

Could you date someone who didn’t drive (and didn’t show an interest in ever getting their license, either)?  I feel like this is such a petty thing to make a big deal about...if they knew how to commute or any other way to get to their destination, I don’t think this should be a problem. It would only be an issue to me if they refused to get a license in a very I-generally-lack-ambition kind of way.

How would you react if your artwork became famous?  I don’t have any to show off to begin with. I love appreciating art, but creating it was never a forte of mine.

Would you get your nipples pierced?  No, I don’t plan on getting any piercings. How many people know your birthday?  Outside of my family, my best friends. I think everyone else relies on Facebook to be reminded, which is fine with me.

Has anyone ever tried to ruin a relationship you were in?  No. Quite the contrary, really...I was sometimes informed about red flags taking place, which of course my stubborn ass ignored.

Have you ever watched a whole hour long infomercial?  Probably, as a kid. The channel from which I used to watch WWE aired these really long infomercials so I would watch those while waiting for like Raw or whatever show was going on after.

What is your current MySpace song?  I never hung out on Myspace. I had an account, but I was too young for it so it wasn’t long before I got bored.

What is your favorite kind of meat to put on your sandwich?  Pulled pork or fried chicken.

Which one of your exes do you feel like you have the most chemistry with?  I only have one ex.

How do you feel about people who make Facebook profiles for their pets? I find it really cute. But I personally wouldn’t put in as much effort lol.

Have you ever personally known a pair of conjoined twins?  Hmmmmmmmm I don’t think so.

What was the most disturbing thing you have ever heard your mother say? She threatened suicide in front of me and my dad in a very calm way when I was around 11, I think? Maybe 12, idk. I haven’t actually thought about that moment in an extremely long time until this question. I’ll move on now and shove the memory at the very very back of my head before I get sad.

Is there something in particular you like to look at photos of? What is it?  Aside from members of BTS (lol), interior design inspirations.

Chewy chocolate-chip cookies: like or dislike?  Ooh, love. When I bite into a cookie it hassssss to ooze chocolate, otherwise I would be underwhelmed.

If your boyfriend/girlfriend wanted to dress only in the opposite sex’s clothing, would you support that? If not, would you leave them?  Support.

Do you think your grandmother is/was beautiful?  They both are.

Which of your fields of interest are you a total expert on?  Anything that has to do with writing (except poems), I guess? I like being able to give people advice and tips when it comes to that.

When was the last time you got all dolled up?  Last July when we had a big PR media launch thingy and I couldn’t afford to look like shit on Zoom.

Do you ever name objects? (i.e. mp3 players, guitars, cars, etc.)  Never.

Do you have a criminal record?  Not criminal but it’s possibleeeee that I have some kind of record on my license from the time I got stopped by an officer in Alabang, lmao. It was a minor offense from a tiny part of the town so I don’t actually know if they filed it, but it’s possible.

Last person you took a nap with?  I don’t really nap with other people. I hate falling asleep in front of others to begin with.

Does seeing your mother cry automatically make you feel sad as well?  No.

Do you think someone likes the same person you like?  I don’t like anybody.

Do you want your life to stay the way it is right now forever?  No, I do not want to stay in a pandemic and not get to maximize my life the way it’s supposed to be enjoyed forever.

Have you ever been to craigslist.com?  I’ve never checked it out; idk if we have that here?

What about eBay?  I also dunno if they operate here so no, I’ve never bothered.

Have you ever used Nair?  Not Nair, but I’ve used Veet before.

Are you medicated?  Nope.

Do you shape/fill in your eyebrows?  I never do stuff to my eyebrows except shave them.

Have you ever stolen/borrowed clothes from an ex?  Several articles of clothing were left behind here, yeah. I never had the chance to give them back because I stupidly thought we were going to get back together eventually. By the time I moved on the timing was already off, so the clothes stayed with me untillll...just a few days ago, actually – when I finally cleaned up my room and got rid of a bunch of knickknacks that accumulated here over the years, including all her shirts and sweaters and stuff.

Could you make a statement about anything political?  The 2022 presidential election landscape looks like complete shit and I’m nearly at that point where I want to stop giving a fuck about this country’s future.

Do you think you’ve already met your soulmate?  No.

Do you get the feeling something good will happen in your life soon?  I think I’m already living in it, haha.

Do you enjoy romantic movies, even when they’re cliche?  Sure, but cliché is also hit and miss for me. I love Titanic and Love Actually, but I cannot stand movies like Me Before You and The Notebook. I guess it depends on certain executions, like the acting, screenplay, casting, etc.

Have you been to McDonald’s in the past month?  No, not inside. We did drive-thru within the last month, though.

Have you ever slept over at your best friend’s house?  Not at Andi’s, but I have at Angela’s.

How often do you go bowling?  Extremely rarely. I can’t tell you the last time I went bowling.

Last time you were in an apartment?  Like 2007 when I visited my aunt back when she still lived in one. None of my friends have their own apartments.

Have you ever seen a live seahorse?  I don’t think so.

Would you like to have your own yacht? I mean I wouldn't say no if you offered it to me for free, but I'm not exactly interested in one. < Same.

Winnie the Pooh or Tigger?  Tigger always made me laugh as a kid.

What’s the unhealthiest thing you’ve eaten today?  Luncheon meat, I think? I didn’t go overboard with the junk food today.

Has a stranger ever offered to buy you a drink?  Hm, not that I can recall.

What is something you’d be happy to receive as a gift, that doesn’t cost a lot?  A bag of the salted egg chips that I really like costs like 30 bucks, or roughly 60 US cents.

What kind of music does your significant other/crush like to listen to?  I don’t have any irl crushes, can I use a celebrity crush instead? HAHA he’s heavily into jazz and whenever he gets asked for music recos he always gives jazz artists from like the 50s and 60s.

Who did you have your first kiss with? Do you remember what colour his/her eyes were?  Gab. Dark brown.

Are there any themes from TV shows that you like to sing along to? The Big Bang Theory and Friends; and then I also liked humming to the themes of Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead, and BoJack Horseman. The Phineas & Ferb theme was also a lot of fun to sing along to.

Do you eat dessert after dinner? No, I never do that. I’m usually already full after dinner, and we don’t always have sweets at home anyway.

Have you ever had too much to drink and felt embarrassed about your behavior the next day?  Sure.

When you go out drinking, what do you prefer to drink?  Cocktails. I very rarely go for hard drinks/shots, especially if I brought my own car.

What was the last animal that you saw?  Dog.

What was the last thing that you said to one of your siblings?  I just told my sister I was done using her laptop so she can have it back. My Memories of 2020 DVD turned out to be region-locked so I have to use her laptop every time I want to watch it :(

What is the most expensive thing that you’ve purchased that you paid for:  My Map of the Soul photobook cost me around 5k in total.

What is your favorite messaging program?  Messenger.

Do you eat fast food more than 5 times a week?  Wow no. Aside from being extremely unhealthy, that’s also a LOT of spending??

Have you ever almost drowned?  Yes.

Have you ever learned something shocking about someone through Facebook?  I mean I’ve had to learn about more than one family death through my Facebook feed, which sucks but is nothing I have control over. Otherwise the most shocking thing I’ve seen is probably classmates from high school having their own kids, but at this point I’m used to it already.

What’s the scariest living animal that you’ve petted?  I’m not really afraid of carrying/petting animals especially if there’s a guide or expert nearby, but the most daring one was probably the crocodile I volunteered to hold in Palawan.

Do you remember the first conversation you ever had with the person you currently have feelings for?  Not at all.

Do you dread certain days of the week? If yes, what day/s and why?  I hate Mondays for obvious reasons lol. I don’t know anyone who is actively cheery about reporting back to work.

If you eat oatmeal, do you have it plain or do you have certain toppings that you like to add to it?  I never eat oatmeal. I had that every single day for breakfast from like kindergarten to 4th grade and I vowed never to take a spoonful of it again.

What is the funniest or strangest thing you’ve ever heard somebody say in their sleep?  I dunno. I used to keep a log of the things my ex used to say in her sleep and a great deal of them were hilarious, but obviously I deleted that note a long time ago.

Choose one - Butterfinger, Milky Way, Snickers:  Butterfinger.

Do you use Mozilla Firefox? Nopes.

Who is your favorite person to hug? Angela and Laurice.

Have you ever had to have a mug shot?  Nope.

What was the last thing you carried to your room?  Kimi.

When was the last time you had a late night phone call?  WELL over a year ago.

[vendeavendea]

How Entrapta Has Become My All Time Favourite Autistic Representation in Media: Long Version

Just so you know what to expect, this is more of a very long and boring personal post and less of a character analysis. By "very long", I mean "very long". Also, half of it was written at night when I was supposed to be sleeping (like, right now), so some parts might not even make sense. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Just days before I started to watch She-Ra, I answered a question in a writer group where someone asked what are the do's and don'ts of writing an autistic character. I've been told a couple of times in my life that I can’t be autistic based on the fact that I'm not really interested in or good at science, so I think special interests of autistic people are something that definitely has to be presented better in media. So I advised this person to make their character have a special interest that's NOT related to science, technology, space or computers, because it's a very common misconception that people on the autism spectrum are always into these stuff, and there are so many autistic fictional characters based on this stereotype that I feel like we absolutely don't need any more.

And then I saw Entrapta.

I didn't know she's canonically autistic until a much later episode, but it didn't surprise me when I was told she is, because my autism radar went off like a hundred times while watching System Failure and all her other season 1 appearances (so did my ADHD radar, by the way, but as far as I know, this hasn't been confirmed by the creators, so it's just my headcanon). And she looked like the purple ponytails princess version of the autism stereotype that I didn’t want to see any more of. The genius who is into space and robots, knows nothing about human relationships and keeps driving everyone nuts with her long and impossible-to-follow scientific monologues. Also cute and funny, yeah, but still, as someone on the spectrum who is super artistic and has nothing to do with science stuff, my first reaction was "dang, not this shit again." Just for once in my life, I wanted to see an autistic representation that's not just that typical weird tech-lover but a character that's at least a tiny bit more like me. Seeing her only in her first episode, little did I know that Entrapta's character has an incredible depth and her whole arc was going to be hair-raisingly personal to me (I know I'm not funny, but pun intended).

First, let’s talk about robots, because we can't talk about Entrapta without talking about robots. Entrapta builds robots just for fun, because technology is her thing, but there's actually a lot more behind this. Starting from as early as her debute episode, we see through the whole series that she creates robots with different designs, abilities, personalities, very similar to real people, as a sort of substitute for the human (or whatever species) company she'd wish to have. She even gives them names. She programs them to like being around her, to understand her, something that she hasn't really experienced from real people, which is sad enough on its own, but even sadder if we consider that she actually has human staff working at her fortress. She pretty literally makes friends, and she does it with the help of her special interest. And this totally reminds me of my primary school years when I had zero real friends and used my special interest, which was writing fictional stories and creating worlds/universes/languages in my head, to make up imaginary characters that could be my "friends" so that I wouldn't be that lonely.

Then, her interactions with other characters, especially with Hordak. Entrapta consoling Hordak in Huntara is a very powerful scene to me, not only what she says, but also how she says it. When Hordak starts venting about how he is a failure and all, Entrapta's first immediate response is to provide a practical solution, to design an armor for him, and comforting him with words is only a secondary action. She's helping in her own way, with technology, because that's what she's the best at, but she also wants to make sure he understands that fixing imperfections isn't always the solution, embracing them is. I also love how it's hinted with the "loved" crystal that Entrapta's love language may be acts of service (and probably quality time as well), which is another thing we have in common. And there's another thing in that scene I found very relatable: that part when she stops consoling him and starts to talk about herself being a failure instead. In real life, most people would read that in a negative way. I've been in many situations where I've tried doing something similar to people who were venting to me, and normally, they're like "ew, I'm the one complaining now, stop making it about you." But Hordak's reaction is different, all he does is try to tell her she's not a failure before she shushes him, then he just listens. He understands what Entrapta means by saying all those things about herself isn't "hey, look, my life is also horrible, so I get to complain, too" but rather "I feel you, we're the same". For a person who thinks and acts as differently from average people as Entrapta does, connecting with someone through similar experiences and feelings is a huge thing, and this is so relatable to me that I cried like a baby while watching that scene. Also, kudos to Christine Woods for making Entrapta's monologue sound so factual and casual. It really gives the impression of someone who is fully aware of her own strengths and weaknesses and accepts herself as a whole with all her flaws. The way she lists all the things that make her feel like a failure right after saying "imperfection is beautiful" is just... wow. But seriously, this whole "imperfection is beautiful" thing in general is such a cliché that it's not even supposed to work on me, but hell it does, because it's so well-presented that it's actually one of the most powerful moments of the whole series. Entrapta giving me self-acceptance lessons is all I've ever needed in my life (Hordak probably agrees, lol).

Speaking of self-acceptance, I also love how Beast Island shows that it's a long and difficult process with its ups and downs instead of just a door you walk through once in your life and then stay on the other side forever. Even if I accept and love myself the way I am, it's still totally normal to have low points with thoughts like "I'm not suited for friendship" or "everyone leaves me behind". And it's very nice and uplifting to have someone's love and support when I'm in a bad mood with stuff like this on my mind, but personally, I often find it easier to deal with if I have something related to any of my special interests around that I can focus my thoughts on. My "we flew here on an ancient First Ones ship, do you wanna see it?" would be something like "do you wanna create some characters and then write the shit out of them?" and before this show I've never actually realised how neurodiverse it is to use a hobby or interest for self-care like this. The "definitely the ship" part called me out so hard, and I just adore how the writers were able put so much meaning into a single joke line.

Back to interactions, there's also something painfully relatable in the way the other princesses treat Entrapta. Even in the beginning in No Princess Left Behind, but mostly in season 4 and 5. In most cases, Entrapta is only considered to be worthy enough to not be left behind in situations when her skills are useful. Other characters "liking" her isn't really about herself as a person but her tech knowledge. Just like when you go to school and the only reason your classmates want to make friends with you is because you always do your homework and let others copy it, or you're good at explaining stuff and are willing to help people getting prepared for tests/exams. When I was in grammar school, my classmates ignored me or mocked me for liking animation and comics, but every now and then they did the bare minimum of treating me like a human being and expected me to do their arts homework in return, because I was the only one in my class who was good at arts. When I studied linguistics at the uni, I was really into phonology and historical linguistics, and those were the compulsory subjects most of the other students were struggling with, so many people wanted to hang out with me just to make sure they could get my notes before the exams. The same people kept calling me nerd and making fun of me behind my back. I also had a few genuine friends, which I'm grateful for, but I still know what it feels like to be needed only for a specific skill while not being noticed and respected as a person, and Launch portraits this experience in a very clever way. It's so amazing to see how the princesses realise who Entrapta really is and start to treat her as someone who just thinks differently instead of someone who's a deliberate bad person. They finally get to see that she's not just an unwary tech nerd, but also a determined, caring and loyal friend who gives others so much love in her own geeky way and deserves love, too. But I shouldn't even be surprised, I mean, we're talking about a show that teaches us "you worth more than what you can give to other people," and it's great how this message applies to other characters as well, not only to Adora. And the best part is that this whole conflict is not presented as something black and white, it's not like Entrapta is the poor misunderstood autistic person and the princesses are the evil allistic bad guys who mistreat her. It's simply a miscommunication between neurotypical and neurodivergent individuals, and while the other princesses get to understand that they hurt Entrapta by their actions and that they should be more respectful of her, Entrapta also realises that she's made mistakes and hurt people, becomes aware of her own bad habits and makes efforts to get rid of them in order to save Glimmer. Plus I also love the faint implication that most of the princesses never really, genuinely, 100% make friends with Entrapta even after this scene, because sometimes people just don't resonate with each other enough to become close friends, but they learn to accept her differences and treat her with respect, nonetheless. This episode is so full of realistic interactions and character development it blows my mind every time I rewatch it.

I could just go on and on about all those tiny relatable details such as "I've waited years for someone to ask me about my theories!" I think this was the line that first made me fall in love with Entrapta's character. I mean, if someone from the crew wrote this line, that means they might know the feeling, too, so I'm not the only dork who feels this way every time someone asks me a question about my hyperfixations. And it's just so reassuring. Entrapta has many lines of the kind, they're not even important plotwise, but still super relatable and validating.

Now that we're here, and I know that I probably should have said this at the beginning of the post, but I'm too lazy to rewrite the first paragraph accordingly, I'd like to note that these are all my own interpretations and reflections on Entrapta's character based on my own experiences. This whole thing is totally personal, and I don't want anyone to think that this is how Entrapta is supposed to be seen by the whole fandom. So yeah, that's pretty much it for now.

[steve0discusses]

The Full Metal Alchemist Live Action Movie Part 8: Watch This Episode Covered in Butts be the Only One Not Flagged by Tumblr

Gonna be risky business and not only upload all of these caps the way I screenshot them--which has just SO MANY poorly CGI’d butts but also gonna do it on the Tumblr Drafts folder, which I have been assured works now.

I’m so worried about so many things, but considering all the fears I have about like...everything else in the world right now...I guess I’ll take a risk on tumblr.

Edit: I cannot believe that I had 8ish episodes of Kaiba’s tall dueling tower get flagged but not this movie. I just....wow I cannot.

So anyway, last we left off, General Hakuro stepped in and was like “Hi guys, you like my wily plans that no one in their right mind would have ever guessed???”

Yo remember this part of the anime? Where the bodies drop from the ceiling and it’s a hunk out of the final arc--it’s here. In this movie. This movie that can’t possibly afford to do that. Lets get some CGI animated bodies in here ASAP.

(see some texture regrets under the cut)

It’s like a Monet, as the Mean Girls say, because far away and shrinked to 500 pixels this looks kinda neat. They sort of look more like those slime ball that grow in the back of your throat rather than human bodies, but they still look pretty gross hanging up there.

But then.....we zoom in. Remember again that this was full screen on my computer, and at one point was on a freakin movie screen. This level of 3d...was on a movie theater screen.

The mind boggles. The mind boggles!

Like as you know, I am an artist, and I’ve dabbled in...basically everything in my pursuit to make a dollar...and I have taken about 2 years of classes in 3D art with Maya and all those. I’m not thaaat great at it--I’m much more an illustrator/painter--but I feel like I have that reference point. Can I just say--the model is...fine...you can do a lot with layers of bump maps so you don’t need a truly detailed model (not like they did that, because they didn’t do that, but I can figure that maybe they had an intention to do that and forgot?)

But, there’s no connection of the wires to bodies. They just kinda float? The bodies are also all the same shiny-ness? To the point that it looks like a copy paste? (I don’t think it is, the wires are slightly different on a few of them) There’s just not much in the way of a texture map or a bump map. It just...there’s also something missing from the skin.

Skin is actually kind of rough to render, so when I did it back in the day, I followed like a checklist to make sure I had all the layers and steps to make someone look...clammy. Some things are kinda translucent, they reflect light a different way...especially white skin like this wouldn’t be just...white like putty. Dunno if you ever saw a white person, but we got so many veins...there was so much potential to make something really gross and fleshy.

Instead we got silly putty. It’s fine. I’m fine.

So General Hakuro decides to just...kill everyone right now.

This makes no sense to me.

That means that the whole thing of Lust killing Hughes was completely unrelated to General Hakuro. All Hakuro needed was Shou Tucker, who has been in prison for...I assume months since Ed shipped him off. And Shou was only released today? Just now? Just now when Hughes was shot?

So this all just happened at the same time by accident?

I mean the General sent us to the wrong lab initially, so he didn’t actually want us to be here, and now that we are here, he’s going to set off an entire army as a reaction to three people walking in and going “oops”?

So, lets get a look at our army.

Oh it was so disappointing, this reveal. Not just the eyeball that has a bounce light coming from below the top lip there (how did that even happen???) but also when it opened it’s mouth, it had a flat animation of skin breaking--it wasn’t actually rendered 3d skin, it was like a jpg wrapped around it or something (or at least that was the illusion I got. That is fine for a video game or a TV show, but this is a movie. This is shot so that it can be displayed in a size bigger than your own house.

What happened to the animation team on this one? Not saying I can do better, cuz no, I can’t, that 3d chapter in my life was a while back, but I’m just one guy. This was an entire animation studio and they just...didn’t render 3d face ripping (which is their entire job, to work in 3d) and then they kinda just turned on the stock physics dynamics and dropped em instead of animating them.

The way they fell was like fish from a bucket--the same amount of speed, too. they all ragdolled like a 3D shooter, their rigs just hanging on for dear life (and yes, you could see the deforming happen on the joints of these models.) I’m fine with having a computer program render something out with a physics engine...but there is a balance.

You do have to still go in there and finangle it back because...real life is hella stupid. Real physics? So stupid. It was hilarious how nonthreatening it was, too because they’re like...the size of shrimps in that zoom out image. The scale is just so wild!

It was like one bored guy in a sound booth and they multiplied his voice three times. Golden. Absolutely golden.

So these guys stride over, all of them with the same amount of speed (leading me to think it was probably a recorded walk cycle they all share with slight alterations between all of em) and they kinda just...pile on eachother in a weird way.

I will give them this: I was happy to see something that wasn’t physics or procedural. They mo-capped and animated that part for sure. It had the touch of an artist’s hand. It was also a very funny way for Hakuro to die because this guy was on screen for like 5 minutes, and maybe 7 minutes of this whole movie.

Youknow...I think it really says a lot about your nude 3d models if they’re not disturbingly human enough to trigger the tumblr filter, youknow?

Anyway, Envy looks on.

And then Gluttony saves the city.

Meanwhile, they decide to bust out the fire effects and Mustang becomes the most useful person in this entire movie. Like honestly this movie was poorly named, because it should have just been “Mustang saves the FullMetal Alchemist’s Entire Ass.”

The next part seems like I forgot a cap, or maybe missed something. I swear to you, I did not.

First off, Al becomes fullmetal and makes this happen without an alchemy circle. The show doesn’t really care to talk about that though, it’s just a thing he can do now, and you’d only notice it if you were writing a Tumblr post about it.

I swear to you, Winry is just inside of Al and there is no explanation.

There is no explanation for this.

She was on the couch...why is she not on the couch? What?

And then when you think they might have a moment, Ed’s like.

Damn.

For reals what the hell was that entire scene except for a way for Ed to get his arm stitched back on in like 2 minutes?

Outside, Envy and Lust are just strolling around the back-alley of this red brick building we have seen used for this entire movie.

And like...it’s so funny to me because they weren’t trying to run or hide. It makes complete sense why they got shot. This is what happens when you just...walk away when the whole military guard wants to kill you.

Now lets go see how Hawkeye is faring.

Luckily, all of the ambling bodies have decided to walk slowly through this one weird grass section between extremely long buildings.

And Hawkeye tells everyone “You have to shoot their heads off” and I want you to look at that scene and tell me how many of those bodies still have heads.

Oh, all of them. Don’t worry about it.

Kinda hard to see, but Ed shows up to give Mustang a hand, which was fully unnecessary but we’ll get to that in a bit.

This movie is such a gem.

Ed goes big brain and realizes that Envy is still burned up, and thus is about to pass on.

And whatever, I’ll take it. It’s not like the movie has told us that they are made out of 1000000 lives, for all we know, in the movie universe, they really are only 4 lives. Like half a cat. Maybe Father only killed half a cat instead of an entire city.

Yugi Muto would be so freakin proud of Envy for how often this guy gets hit square in the chest with fire balls. It’s basically every scene where Envy and Mustang share screen time.

And don’t worry, I don’t think Envy died? But they sure made it look like he did, which I’m sure everyone everywhere was really happy to see, since Envy’s death was one of the climaxes of the whole series. Like people used to make these lists of “top 10 saddest anime deaths” and how many people had Envy on there? Like everyone? People freakin love Envy and they did him so much dirty in this movie.

Again I have no explanation for Winry.

So Mustang is like, Ed, you make sure Winry doesn’t biff it in that corner, and I’ll do my actual job over here on this side. And yo, he did.

And so then that’s it, Lust is dead, and now we have a Sorcerer’s stone.

Man it looks delicious, right?

I’d eat the hell out of that.

Anyway, we only have one more update and we’re done with this movie!

I know!

I know! They only have 10-15 minutes to resolve pretty much everything, and that’s assuming that the credits don’t take up a heap of that. Hell, I might only have 3 caps next episode if that’s all credits. I honestly don’t remember.

Anyway, hope y’all take it easy this February, here is a link for people who just got here to read these FMA recaps in Chrono order.

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/fma/chrono

[sakura-blossom28]

Modern Day Romance

Chapter 2

Here’s chapter 2! I love Gaara, he’s my favorite character so this was really fun to write! Sorry his history is a little long I tried to make it as close to what it really was with it being modern au! Let me know what you think!! Don’t own Naruto!

Ch 1 /

Dating had not come easily for Gaara.  He was always alone, aloof, and reserved in showing any emotions.  Well, that’s how he used to be.  His upbringing had been a real struggle for his family.  When his mother passed away during his birth, it put a real strain on the family.  Instead of coming together with his father and siblings, they slowly drifted apart.  Being shut out by his own family lead Gaara down a dark and violent path.  With no supervision and access to their family’s wealth from a famous fashion magazine, Gaara was able to fuel early addictions that his young body could not tolerate.  

Gambling had started his descent into his spiral out of control.  By the time he was ten Gaara had started placing bets on games and dice in back allies behind the liquor stores in town, but the thrill of winning wasn’t enough.  Eventually, he found his way to street fights.  He was good of course from constantly fighting for years, but one night he bit off more than he could chew.  The pain was unbearable, but that fight, in particular, had knocked Gaara’s brain around so much that something finally clicked.  He needed to stop all of this, drinking, drugs, fighting.  It all needed to stop.  

Only at the sight of his siblings surrounding him with tears in their eyes did it all come together for him.  All the times that he thought they didn’t care about him, didn’t he notice the concerned looks in their eyes?  When he came home late at night, wasn’t there always some food and pain medicine left at the kitchen table? Seeing his brother and sister in such a state over him made him realize that he had acted cruelly towards them.  They were scared of their own brother and he wanted to change that, but how?

He looked over to his father and did not see any emotions of caring in his eyes.  More embarrassment at the situation.  Maybe some relationships couldn’t change, but as long as Gaara could have his siblings that would be enough for him.  He had no desire to attempt to change his relationship with his father, but it might be easier to deal with him if Temari and Kankuro started to like Gaara more.

“You’ve done enough to sully the family name.  You will be sent away to learn how to behave like a proper human being.  No discussions, you’re leaving as soon as you’re discharged,” his father said in a stern voice.  They locked eyes to see who would drop first in a struggle for dominance.  Gaara was the first, but he only closed his eyes.  

“Yes.  I will agree to that,” Gaara said quietly while keeping his eyes closed.   His father turned to walk out of the room, but when he heard Gaara’s voice again he stopped dead in his tracks.  

“Thank you… Father,” Gaara had not addressed his father with any form of a name since he was about six.  Hearing those words shocked Gaara’s father to his core.  The room went totally silent with everyone else holding their breath.   Their father relaxed his shoulders and said, “Temari, find a suitable program… for your brother,” and he left without looking back at them.  That was the first time that Gaara had been acknowledged as part of the family by their father.  Yes, this was a change that Gaara needed…

X

Years later Gaara finished his rehabilitation with the help of his siblings.  They had found a wonderful program that focused on violent behaviors and also allowed Gaara to go to school and earn a high school degree.  It was a school located out in the desert and it helped Gaara connect to himself and others in the program.  He was able to write letters to his siblings and that’s how they repaired their broken relationships and learned to care for each other again.  Not only was the staff educated on how to help Gaara emotionally, but they also taught him better ways to channel his anger.  

After graduating Gaara returned home.  He had picked up the knack of gardening and especially enjoyed cacti.  It helped him remember everything he learned.  He also took up material arts which was offered at the school.  Gaara was not surprisingly good at his new hobby, but he also made his first friend.  On the first day of lessons, Gaara had knocked Lee, the teacher’s assistant, around a bit too much, he had so much frustration built up that he lost control.  Gaara was so distraught about the whole situation he visited Lee in the hospital.  He expected to be run out by the teacher, but when he walked in Guy and Lee all smiled at Gaara.  He was so confused, but it felt so nice to be smiled at that Gaara stayed and got to know Lee.  On their way out of the hospital, Guy had said something that Gaara would never forget.  

“If you hadn’t come and visited Lee to make sure he was okay I would have kicked you off the team and reported back to the school that you might be unable to change, but the fact that you did speaks volumes.  You have a willingness to be a good person.  Keep working on yourself, listen to your teachers and people will accept you.  I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, but it will be worth it in the end when you are surrounded by people who truly love you,” Gui patted him on the shoulder, flashed him a toothy grin and thumbs up and ran off down the block.  Gaara hadn’t had any form of affection in years and he craved more.

X

Being on a dating app was not Gaara’s idea of fun.  He barely kept up with his own personal social media accounts, except for his secret page about his small garden.  Temari and Kankuro had created the profile for him.  Kankuro was a photographer for their father’s magazine and Temari was a designer for the label as well.  Most of his pictures on the profile were taken by Kankuro.  He often posed for his brother because he enjoyed spending time with his family, even though they all started fighting as the session dragged on.  No one could take charge.  Their father had every attention to give the company to Gaara after he earned his degree, but Gaara knew that was not the life he wanted to live.

When he walked into his father’s office when he was eighteen, walking tall and had an air of confidence about him, his father was shocked at the man before him.  Gaara was calm and spoke from his heart about how he had no intention of taking over the company, but wanted to go to school to become a therapist to help people that were like him.  And that’s exactly what he did.  His father saw that there would be no changing his mind, and he didn’t have the strength to argue anyway with the shock still rattling his brain that Gaara was this new person.

So here Gaara was sitting in his apartment looking at different girls in his area.  Life was going well and Temari felt it was time he finally found a nice girl to pull the stick out of his butt.  Gaara had never had a serious girlfriend before.  Only casual flings, but they never heald his attention for very long.  They normally weren’t a fan of his uncaring facade.  Secretly, he was still worried about being rejected like he was with his family so many years ago.  Was he willing to trust someone with such intimate feelings to have them leave if they didn’t like what they saw in him?  He was only overthinking everything because of his job.  Sure he helped people with addiction, but they also had their own struggles with relationships.  He was just awful at taking his own advice.

He did feel this was better than meeting some girl at a bar.  He didn’t typically go out much, but Kankuro insisted some nights to be his wing-man.  It was enjoyable to watch his brother fail at picking up women.  Temari was also no help.  She only recommended women who were like her and those women happened to be a bit too intimidating for Gaara.  At least on these dating apps, he could talk to the women first before deciding if they were annoying or not.  

Gaara didn’t have a type, but he did seem to be attracted to women who smiled openly in their pictures.  As he was scrolling he got a notification from one of his dating-apps.  Sakura liked your picture!  Tap to match!  He hadn’t gotten a like in what felt like forever.  Probably another goth girl who would find him boring once they started talking.  With his look of mostly wearing black, Gaara attracted a certain type of woman.  He dressed professionally while at work but during his downtime, Temari gave him everything that was off the rack that she thought that he would like.  These girls thought he was a fashion guru, but he disappointed them time and again when he admitted that someone picked them out for him and he really didn’t care about labels.  They seemed to ghost him after that.

When he opened the app he was met with a bright smile and sea glass green eyes that were like his own, but these eyes were filled with happiness.  Gaara’s caught his breath when he looked at this girl Sakura.  She was nothing like the girls who liked him before.  Sakura was all sunshine and bright colors from her pink hair to her clothes.  She was a nurse and enjoyed sweets and being outside.  What surprised Gaara the most was what picture she had liked.  

It was the very last picture on his profile and the only picture of him smiling.  He was embarrassed when Temari insisted that she HAD to put in on.  It was a dinner party a few months ago that Temari had thrown to announce her engagement to her longtime boyfriend Shikamaru.  Lee had eaten something a little too spicy for his liking and was being his ridiculous self and Gaara just had to laugh at his misfortune.  The fact that this girl Sakura looked at his whole profile and liked his picture was thrilling to Gaara.  He had to talk to this girl, she seemed different if she liked a guy like him.

His hands started to type out a message before he realized what he was doing and pressed send to match with a Sakura Haruno...

Ch 3 

[pinksvnt]

pairing: reader x minghao

genre: fluff

word count: 1,468

sypnosis: meeting minghao in the past leading to the start of a new life.

theres a marrige proposal here and y/n is an artist lmao. Honestly not my fave but all work is good bc I still managed to write something I dont totally cringe at sorry I dont title my work orz

-

You remember the day you met Minghao. You came to Seoul for an exchange program from your university and as your senior year thesis you held an art show. Work in all different sorts if media all revolving one central theme. Your self discovery. Who were you as a person, the good and bad.

Your thesis was held in a small studio place and the general public was encouraged to take a look. You remember what it was like hanging up posters and trying to get people to take one for themselves. You had never done anything like that but sometimes you meet people who were interesting and you'd sketch them up real quick if they promised to show up.

Minghao was one of those people. It was nearing sundown and you were ready to head back to your dorm but had an unexplainable urge to get one more person to promise to visit your show. That's when you saw two men walking with other, one with a camera and that's when you knew you could definitely get them to come. Shyly walking up to them you interrupted their little photoshoot were having between themselves.

"Sorry to bother you two but I was wondering if I could just, sketch a portrait for you two real quick in exchange for a favor" The taller men of the two immediately started smiling at you.

"What's the favor and where should we sit for the portrait!" You had them sit down on a bench nearby and quickly went about sketching their image.

"You see, I have an art show coming up, and the more people that go, the better I look! So I was wondering if you or just one of you really could show up and just take a look at my work?" You spoke to them without really looking them in the eyes as you were busy trying to capture their image.

"What kind of art do you do?" Finally the other of the two finally spoke. He had a weirdly mysterious vibe from the get go especially since he didn't speak to you from the start. He had on a simple yet stylish track suit on and dark hair that really contrasted against his fair skin. He seemed really intrigued in knowing what it was you'd answer.

"All kinds of work really, I work in tons of different media but I love focusing on myself and emotions. Emotions are such an interesting thing to try and visualize but I like the challenge. I'm almost done here so it won't be much longer and then you two can leave!"

The two turned towards each other and gave a sort of approving look to one another over your answer which made you smile. Although they didn't look it at first that fact that one of them asked about your work shows they at least have a good appreciation for art. You ended up signing their portrait and handing it to them along with a clean piece of paper. That was just to keep the graphite from smudging.

"Now that that's done, I hope I can see you two again at my art show! I'll give you this flyer and I'll even write down my personal number for if you two get lost or something. I'll appreciate it if you two just swing by, so please think about it!" You put away your pencil and sketchbook and gave them a smile.

"Yeah yeah. We might just go, I don't think we have anything scheduled that day!" The taller boy smiled at you "Oh! By the way, my name is Mingyu"

"And my name in Minghao"

"Nice to meet you two! I had fun drawing you two, my name is y/n. Hope to see you two soon, stay safe"

Now initially you didn't think much of those two. They were just another pair of really attractive people you met today. Though you really wanted them to show up for some reason.

Fast forward to the day if your show, you're exhausted and caffeinated beyond space. The anxiety you were feeling was probably a good reason as to why you shouldn't have drank so much coffee. But here you were, an anxious jittery mess. You had to pull yourself together as much as possible so that you could great visitors when they come in. If people would even show up.

Looking up at a portrait of yourself looking confident and somewhat menacing you sighed.

"Alright y/n, you've had plenty of art shows before. Even though this is your senior thesis, you'll do just as good as your previous shows. Nothing to fear"

The moment you unlock the studios doors you're met with so much uneasy you feel weak in the knees and on the verge of passing out. Why were you so nervous? You're so occupied in your mind with worries that you don't even notice when people start trickling in. You had to get it together.

"Are you alright?" You look up to see Minghao, a pleasant surprise in all honesty.

"Oh yeah. Yeah, I'm fine just a little stressed. I'm glad to see you came though!" He smiled softly at you and for some reason you felt a bit at ease. "I can give you a sort of tour of my pieces if you'd like?"

"I'd love that" He continued smiling at you and you couldn't understand but the more he looked at you that way, the better you felt better about the entire situation.

You walked with him showing him your work and explaining the meanings and feelings. It brought you so much joy because he wasn't viewing your work to critique it as your professors would be soon. He looked at each piece intently and said 'this is my favorite' to every piece you showed him.

"Your work is amazing y/n" Minghao scanned every inch of the studio and sighed to himself. It didn't sound bored. It didn't even sound as if itd lead to an awkward silence. "Can we talk more? Not here but like, a date or something?"

That initially caught you off guard. At the moment you were just happy how intrigued he was about your work. Most people (men) would dismiss your work or make you feel less than about it. And just as suddenly as he asked you responded in a way that even surprised you.

"Yeah, that'd be great. I'd love to" You smiled at him and that was that.

That was about two years ago now. Minghao became one of the most important people to enter your life. Being an artist himself he would always confide in you when showing you his work. You would show him yours and you had nothing but support for each other.

It was just another day in your small little studio when Minghao visited during his time out to the convenience store. This wasn't an out of character for him to do. He'd do this quite often and you loved the times where he would find a way to see you during the day during his busy days. What you did find odd though was the fact that he barged in painting, a bit sweaty, and looking disheveled.

"Mingha-"

"Y/n... it's felt like an eternity since I met you. The person you are is more beautiful than any piece of art I've seen in my life"

You were speechless, Minghao often told you he loved you but this felt different and so sudden. What's worse is that you're a mess, messy hair, paint covered smock and dirty paint covered hands.

"Hao I-"

"Please let me finish. I love you y/n, I want to paint the world with you. Will you marry me?"

Complete and utter shock. You felt weak in the knees and the world felt as if it was spinning. Even though you know the answer you couldn't help but feel overwhelmed. You looked at him and he seemed anxious, looking at you so longingly that that brought you back to your senses.

"Minghao I-" You felt the tears starting to fill your eyes as Minghao took a box from his pocket and presented you with a ring. It was stunning. Nothing flashy, it was simple and more than enough. "Of course I will!"

Minghao pulled you into a tight embrace, laughing and if you swore you could feel a few tears from him too. But those could've been yours. Finally he pulled away and placed the ring on your finger. Minghao made everything in your life better. The idea that not too far into the future you would be able to call him your husband, flooded you with happiness. With Minghao in your life. Everything will fall into place.

[axiumin]

Absolution | Chapter Two

Back at it again with part two! This time, there’s more interaction with Youngjae and the beginnings of that burn. 

Pairing: Youngjae x Reader

Genre: Drama, College!AU

Words: 2.5k

Chapters: [1] [2] [3] [4]

You had writer’s block, which was just about the worst thing that could happen to you when you had less than twenty-four hours before your faculty advisor expected to see a completed draft of your term paper. You tried your damnedest to get anything decent written, but every time you’d finish penning a line, the words seemed to glare back at you, jarring and insufficient.

Not for the first time, you cursed yourself for choosing creative writing. In hindsight, you couldn’t fathom how you thought a program that forced you to write creatively on a deadline would be even the slightest bit good for your mental and emotional health, but here you were.

Suffering.

And veering quickly for the melodramatic. Obviously, sitting around and agonizing in your cramped apartment wasn’t going to do you any good. Maybe a change of scenery would help kickstart your creativity, you mused. Or, if it didn’t, at least you could continue to suffer in the relative comfort of one of the library’s study rooms.

You stood and stretched your arms over your head, groaning when you felt your back give a satisfying crack. It didn’t take long for you to gather your things together and make your way to the library.

It was early evening, and with a few weeks still left in the semester, there weren’t any students rushing around in the panic of midterms or finals. The campus was still and silent, and the library was no different. Only one student lingered in the lobby, and they were utterly oblivious to you, their face buried in a sociology textbook and their headphones blasting music that you could faintly hear halfway across the room. The only other person around was Youngjae, working the front desk, and you felt your shoulders sag in relief at the sight of his familiar face.

And by the way he broke into a bright grin when he caught sight of you, you figured the feeling was mutual.

“What brings you here at this hour?” he asked when you made your way to the desk. His voice was quiet out of habit; you both knew you could speak louder without disturbing the only other library denizen, but you were perfectly content keeping your voice soft, too.

“Writer’s block,” you said simply. Youngjae’s face twisted into a look of sympathy.

The campus library had attracted all sorts of student employees, you’d found. Erika was a third-year psychology and social behavior major, and you were halfway convinced that she was the person who kickstarted the trend of perfectly color-coordinated and organized notes. She was brilliant and tenacious and orderly almost to a fault. If anyone could take over the world, it would be her.

Jiseob was an art history major. He was remarkably down to earth, and he often joked that he would likely work in a diner once he finished his degree. But you knew that he was hip-deep in faculty-led research projects. For all that he wrinkled his nose when he talked about grad school, you could think of no one else who could handle academia with such aplomb.

Akram was perhaps the chattiest computer science major you’d ever met. He was the only STEM major among your little pack of coworkers, but he took it in stride, easily keeping pace with conversations about everything from Romantic-era art to slam poetry. Jiseob liked to joke that Akram was a real Renaissance man, and Akram didn’t even try to hide the way he preened under the compliment.

Youngjae was the only one who was also in your creative writing program. He was a year ahead of you and could empathize with your struggles more than anyone else you knew, which you supposed was part of the reason you were so relieved to see him. If you trusted anyone’s advice at this junction, it would be his.

“What are you working on?” he asked, leaning his elbows against the counter.

You sighed and fished out your laptop, opening it up right there to show him.

“For my term paper, I wanted to write a fictional narrative that brings in elements of confessional poetry. I wanted to wrestle with ideas of life and death from the perspective of a widowed woman in her 50s, but I’m having a hard time making things feel authentic. I guess that’s what happens when you try to write about life experiences that aren’t your own,” you said, shrugging.

Youngjae’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline. “That’s pretty ambitious,” he said, but it sounded more like affirmation than admonishment. “But if anyone can pull it off, it’s you.”

The doubt must have shown on your face because he was quick to press on. “I mean, sure, you’re trying to write a confessional style from a perspective that you haven’t really experienced, but the key is that you’re writing about a human experience. Everyone wrestles with mortality in some way or another, right? You just have to try to find a way to convey your own feelings through the voice of a fictional character.”

“You make it sound so easy,” you said, a bit drily.

Youngjae rewarded you with a fleeting half-smile that made him go from sweet to rakish for just a moment before he returned to his usual neutrally sincere expression.

“It is,” he insisted. “Or, at least it can be if you know how to do it right. I can find some references for you, if you’d like.”

Now more than ever were you grateful you’d made the journey to the library. “Please.”

Youngjae busied himself with the computer for a moment, typing in some author name or other, and it took just a moment for him to turn back to you.

“Ah, we have some Sylvia Plath checked back in right now. Why don’t we check her out?”

You shrugged. “I’m game. What section is she in?”

“I’ll just show you,” Youngjae said, already moving out from behind the counter before you could respond.

“You realize I work here, too, right?” you noted as Youngjae began leading you into the shelves. “Like, I know where the sections are and I don’t even need directions or anything.”

Youngjae didn’t even look back at you, just shrugged. “I know. But it’s boring in here, and now I finally get to do something.”

Well, you couldn’t begrudge him that, you supposed. Besides, it wasn’t like he was bad company in the slightest, even if you had to trot a bit to keep up with his quick strides.

It took no time at all for Youngjae to pluck a book from one of the shelves and hand it to you. It was a slim anthology of poetry by Sylvia Plath, and you began flipping through the pages idly as Youngjae spoke.

“Confessional poetry became kind of popular among American authors around the 1950s and ‘60s. Plath was just one of several who became well-known for this style. She’s not exactly a 50-something-year-old widow, but she definitely had her own dealings with life and mortality. I thought maybe you could draw some inspiration from her.”

You dragged your fingertips across the paper, tracing the letters. “You know a lot about this, even for a librarian,” you said quietly, not tearing your eyes from the page. In the corner of your eye, you saw him shrug.

“Everyone has their stylistic preference. This one happens to be mine.”

You looked up at him in clear surprise, and he ducked his head sheepishly.

“I know, that one always tends to surprise people.”

You shook your head. “No- I mean, yeah, but.” You stopped and licked your lips, trying again. “I just don’t think we’ve ever talked about our inspiration and preferences before. Somehow.”

As a matter of fact, it occurred to you that you didn’t know much about Youngjae at all beyond your friendly conversations at work. You knew him well enough to consider him a friend, but you didn’t know much about him.

As if reading your mind, Youngjae said, “I tend not to talk too much about myself, to be honest. It’s a bit ironic, considering that I’m fascinated with the idea of people laying their emotions bare. There’s just something about the vulnerability of putting yourself in words like this, you know?” His gaze fell to the slightly yellowed pages of the book. “And not only are you putting yourself out there, but it’s permanent. The written word can outlast lives by centuries. It’s powerful.”

His eyes flashed back up to yours and it was your turn to look down at the book.

“I hadn’t thought of it like that,” you admitted. Sure, you were interested enough in confessionals, or else you wouldn’t have chosen that stylistic approach. But for you, it was more about venturing into unfamiliar territory. You were more focused on stretching yourself as a writer rather than the implications of that style.

“Not a lot of people do,” Youngjae said with an easy shrug. “I probably think about it too much. I just think I’m hoping that I can learn how to be more honest, myself.”

You felt your eyebrows creep up your forehead. In the months that you’d worked with Youngjae, you’d never seen him as anything less than kind, open, and sensitive.

“Aren’t you honest now?”

That wry smile came back, and Youngjae shook his head. “Not as much as I should be. Now more so than ever, I guess.”

You let that statement hang in the air as you mulled it over. It was surprising to hear him say that, but you supposed it was actually perfectly relatable.

The heavy silence was broken when Youngjae huffed a quiet laugh.

“This is all pretty topical, isn’t it?” he said, eyes crinkling. “I mean, with the whole Ars thing, it seems like confession is the hot topic this semester.”

You chuckled and shook your head. “I guess so,” you said. “Though I don’t know how many of those confessions are quite as deep as this,” you said, snapping the book shut for emphasis.

Youngjae just shrugged. “Maybe. But that’s just human nature, isn’t it? Everyone has different needs, different concerns. Some people may make a joke of it and post about how hot their TA is, and others may share trauma they’ve carried with them for years. Either way, don’t you think it’s important for people to be able to share parts of themselves like that? It’s hard to live with secrets all the time.”

You hummed in thought. “What about Ars?”

Youngjae blinked in surprise. “What about Ars?” he echoed.

“Well, people are releasing a part of themselves when they submit the confessions, right? But then Ars is taking those confessions in, and all Ars does is post them around campus. Is that release for them? Or are they left living with other people’s secrets on top of their own?”

Youngjae frowned. “Maybe they’re into that sort of thing. It’s not anonymous to them, right? Maybe they’re just looking for leverage over people. Maybe they’ll just turn things around on those confessors.”

You were taken aback. You hadn’t expected Youngjae to suddenly speak so negatively of Ars after all that talk of confession, and frankly, it wasn’t like Youngjae to play devil’s advocate.

A frown tugged at your lips and you shook your head thoughtfully. “I don’t think that’s the case at all,” you said. Youngjae seemed a bit surprised at your conviction. If you were honest, you were surprised, too.

For the second time that evening, silence hung between you, this one heavier than the last. You couldn’t quite describe the look on Youngjae’s face as he gazed at you.

Just as his lips parted to speak, you heard a muted thump and a “Hello?”

Both of you turned to see the sociology kid from earlier staring back at you from the front desk. The textbook was sitting on the counter, and he had a chagrined look on his face as he glanced back and forth between you and Youngjae.

“I’m finished with this book,” he called hesitantly.

Just like that, all tension was dispelled, leaving you with a gusty sigh.

“I should, uh, take care of that,” Youngjae murmured. You nodded fervently.

“Yeah. Yeah, go do that. I’ll just,” you held up the book, “go work for a bit.”

After some awkward shuffling, you managed to make your way to a study desk tucked away in the corner of the room. You sat down heavily, your head buzzing with thoughts of your conversation.

You mused about confessionals, the act of confession, and what that meant for you— and for your paper, too. Your fingers drummed against the table as you deliberated, but it wasn’t a difficult decision, and you were soon unlocking your phone and opening instagram.

What better way to get in the mood for writing a confessional than to start by confessing?

In no time at all, you opened a new message to Ars and typed out your confession, releasing another heavy sigh when you pressed send. You spared a moment for you to sit back and scrub a hand over your face, and then you were shaking off your thoughts and opening your laptop to get to work.

You immersed yourself in your writing, and when you finally sat back, the hour was late and the campus beyond the library window was pitch black. Your muscles were stiff and tired when you rose from your seat and neatly packed away your belongings.

You took a quick detour to return the Plath anthology to its rightful home before making your way back towards the front desk. You had to stifle a pang of disappointment when you realized that Youngjae was gone, replaced by a sleepy-eyed Jiseob. He waved lazily at you, and you returned it before pulling your jacket tighter around you and heading out into the night, your shoulders weighed down by your heavy thoughts.

When you awoke the next morning, you were relieved to find that the strange musing mood had eased. Your mind was surprisingly clear as you went through the motions of your morning routine, as you gave your term paper a final proofread, as you printed it out and placed it delicately in a portfolio folder. Nerves simmered low in your stomach, making it flutter unpleasantly, but it was easy to ignore as you walked across campus towards your faculty advisor’s office.

What wasn’t as easy to ignore were the stark white letters sitting at eye level on a pillar right outside of the humanities building’s side entrance.

“I don’t think I know how to stop being critical of myself and my work.”

The stenciled lettering was pristine, protected from the seasonal rains by its position under the building’s awning. You stood there for some time, just staring at your confession, shocked that it would manifest so shortly after you’d sent it in. Yet your shock was mostly quelled by a wave of relief. In the light of day, the swell of frustration and helplessness that had compelled you to pen these words seemed somehow manageable. 

You felt something that felt a lot like determination settle inside of you. You gripped the cardstock of your portfolio tighter and turned on your heel, ready to stand by your completed work.

[domesticangel]

ok ive been wanting to do an OC redraw/redesign for a while now and uh, well here it is !!! top is obv the revamp and bottom is these three’s original designs ,,, the bottom pic is 9 years old (holy smokes) so i made them during my middle school emo/scene phase when i was like 12 so thats why they're.........Like That lmao but left to right in both pics is jude, elliot, and skipper!!! this was? so fun honestly

ummm lots of info/backstory about them under the cut lol

so in the original pic/designs… if I remember correctly jude and skipper were in police academy training to be cops and elliot was some punk ass kid theyd end up seeing around a lot cause he was in and out of holding for Delinquent Things, and ofc they magically became friends. Im pretty sure they were all 16/17 when I first made them which makes no sense at all (teen cops??? Ok) but like when ur 12, teenagers are Practically Adults BUT none of that is Canon TM anymore. In their redesign they range from early to late 20’s; I usually peg jude around 26-27, elliot is probably 23-24, and skipper is 21.

jude was the very first oc I ever made so shes always had a special place in my heart… I started churning out rapid fire ocs when I was in middle school that id toss when I was bored with em but shes the one that always stuck around!! Shes been a big honkin lesbian ever since her conception, so id use her a lot to express BabyGay feelings I didn’t really know how else to process. design wise I kinda just simplified her look; I have no fucking clue why she used to have an eyepatch and cat ears (I mean, I do, its because I was a weeb) but I got rid of those along with the scene hair and gave her longer hair with more natural waves and some freckles from spending a lot of time in the sun. her gray eyes and hair were always kind of her signature, so those got to stay! She mostly just wears anything that’s easy enough to move around and get work done in; tank tops, loose long skirts, etc. think futch hippy. anyways jude is now just a simple plant witch who uses her skills and connection with the elements to run a modest local farm, and even though shes fairly content in her lifestyle, she wants nothing more than a gf/wife that she can work hard to give a good life to :3c shes a hopeless romantic and has a bad habit of falling a little bit in love with every woman she meets, but shes mad shy when it comes to flirting, so more often than not shes just a sweaty ball of pining and infatuation. Whenever shes feeling some type of way about a girl she either obsessively takes on projects around the farm or house to distract herself or rants to her plants about how shes too afraid to express her feelings. RIP useless lesbian jude. Anyway shes the oldest of the trio, so shes very protective of elliot and skipper in a mother hen kind of way. She gets embarrassed when she realizes shes lecturing them like a cranky old maid, but they secretly don’t really mind it and often come to her for general life advice. I think her sign would be Taurus :3c (and probably an air moon since she’s kind of a space cadet)

elliot was REALLY FUN to redesign bc I honestly just wanted him to look like one of those people who had a HUGE scene phase way back when and just… never completely grew out of it lmao so I gave him the two-tone mullet he deserves, grown out roots hes definitely not gonna bother to re-bleach and re-dye, and piercing scars under his lip from where he used to have some tacky ass snakebites that he probably had to take out to get a job or something lol. he couldn’t completely give up piercings though, so the labret and gauges got to stay. Dudes not COMPLETELY stuck in 2007, but he does still enjoy a lot of the OG emo/punk bands and the fantasy of making it big in his own band and touring the country in a fashionably clunky van. He doesn’t exactly have a band, but hes working on that. Hes halfway decent on vocals and a guitar so he spends a lot of time combing through the local college town he lives and works in in hopes of finding some people who’d wanna play some gigs with him. But in the mean time, he works as a barista in a local café, which usually hooks him up by letting him do some acoustic sets at night every now and again. Hes a very warm and upbeat person, and will happily engage and talk the ear off of anyone close enough for him to do so, stranger or otherwise. He also regularly reminds jude and skipper how much he loves both of them and how glad he is that theyre all friends; He doesn’t really have much in the way of embarrassment or apprehension when it comes to what hes feeling. Hes the official unofficial “plan-maker” of the friend group and is able to bring them all together for quality time, because hes not at all passive like jude or skipper, and… usually has the most free time out of all of them lol. elliot is pure Leo and that’s about all there is to that

And finally, congratulations to skipper, who against all odds, looked normal enough that I didn’t really have to change anything at all about his design! Just had to ditch the uniform for your typical Tired Gay mustard sweaters. Skipper is an English major in his sophomore year of college who, like most people in their 20’s in liberal arts programs, is desperately trying to figure out what he wants out of life and also doesn’t know what sleeping or self-care is. He really enjoys writing, but doesn’t really know if he wants to do it for a living or if he even could. He grew up with pretty cold and distant parents, so on top of knowing they don’t really approve of his major, he pretty much always operates under the assumption that if hes not working himself to death hes not justifying the space hes taking up or the air hes breathing. Emotionally speaking hes more emo than elliot will ever be and his blood is probably 75% caffeine. He having kind of a rough time tbh but hes gritting it out in hopes that things become more clear eventually. He’d be way worse off if he didn’t have jude or elliot, who hes more thankful for than he can ever bring himself to express. They were essentially his first real, close friends, and despite skipper being incapable of asking for help, they always seem to know when he needs someone to talk to or even just a brief distraction; Jude has an open door policy for her farm and will let him come over and cuddle some rabbits or sit and talk over tea on her porch whenever he needs to, and elliot cant remember the last time hes made skipper pay for anything he ordered from the café, or the last time he even had to ask skipper what he wanted. Because hes the youngest of the three its sometimes their instinct to protect him, which embarrasses skipper out of his mind, but he knows they mean well. Hes the physical embodiment of Just Doing His Best and is a stone cold Capricorn

They’re still besties but basically met just from living in the same town; jude and elliot met when jude started providing the café’s local roast from the coffee beans she grew on her farm so elliot saw her fairly regularly and of course was like Oh Friend? Jude always liked how forthcoming elliot was as it complimented her generally reserved nature, and elliot always thought living on a farm and growing your own food was pretty punk rock and therefore pretty dang cool in his book. They both got to know skipper because he came to the café every. single. day. to ingest ungodly amounts of espresso and study all day, and when elliot took an interest in skipper, jude suggested he invite him to one of his gigs since the poor guy kinda looked like he needed a break. Skipper initially kind of politely shot elliot down, but jude took a chance and found skipper later to tell him how much itd mean to elliot, and that if it made him feel better she’d go with him, since going to events like this was different for her too. skipper apprehensively agreed at that point, and the rest is history !!! they all kinda hit it off after that

tl;dr

[bcdyhigh-blog]

hey y’all !! i have this queued and everything bc my forgetful ass prob won’t be around for the soft opening.. rip. anyways i’m lia, twenty, a rpdr and retro future enthusiast, and i’m hyped as hell to introduce my Kids ! admittedly gyuri owns my heart more than max so, you can have her first, you’d prob thank me for it shortly anyways DKSLGFJ you can find her bio HERE, i also have her PLOTS and STATS pages up, so check them out as well ! and if you wanna plot, just hmu over at discord !

( KIM MINJI | CISFEMALE | SHE/HER ) I swear I saw MOON GYURI around campus yesterday. I hear the TWENTY-ONE year old is very resolute & circumspect which totally adds up since they're a TAURUS. They’re in their THIRD year and studying MUSIC PRODUCTION. you might also see them at a RADIO CLUB meeting. ( lia, nt, she/her. )

moon gyuri, a daegu native with an older sister and younger brother, an ambivert and an all around baby

i already have an overview of her bg so i’ll stick to the basics with this copied intro gklfds

buT she became involved in music through her father, who studied it in uni and ended up becoming a music instructor with a focus on piano, flute and vocals

her and her mom.. also her older sister, didn’t have the best relationship when she grew older, which seemed to die altogether when her parents divorced and her mom left. but her and her sister’s still exists, it’s just that she’s a bit of a toxic influence on her and she tends to distance herself from her

went to seoul arts to pursue music like her father ( a daddy’s girl too like ) and found her way into the world of production !! just before junior year, she transferred out of her original program, applied music with a concentration in piano, into music production and has loved it ever since

she’s making something of an income as the creator of an acct on youtube and soundcloud for her music — going by the aliases lunar wave and leda on them respectively ( can you tell how creative i am.. seriously, im dsfggdfjk )

she’s not even close to making it big yet, having only started a few short months ago, and that being said, she doesn’t mind if she never works for a moderately to highly popular label in the future — though she should if she wants to get by

among the aesthetic, lo-fi music crowd ( one of those yt accts with a livestream for certain playlists that go on for hours, rip ) where for the most part, it’s personal faves mixed with her own works, and has a substantial following for such a new acct as of now. but has an interest in experimenting, with mashups ( as a lover of them ?? i couldn’t help myself sgflkdsjg ) for example, with a small fear of how that change would be received

anyways she’s a member of the radio club, is usually found in either her room or some studio in the music department, and is a struggling bi baby 

this is so short iK, it’s a little infuriating if you ask me ljkgdfjls

in terms of her personality and other things:

she’s quite a loyal person, but even she knows when to draw a line in the sand. while like i said, her relationship with her sister is Not Great, she hadn’t completely given up on her for many years. definitely for the time being, for her own benefit, but her being someone who’s open to the idea of people changing for the better somewhere down the line leaves a bit of room for her to possibly change her mind, if her sister does enough to allow her to consider it

so she can be a bit of a doormat in some cases, it all depends on how she sees the person that determines if that’s the case, but she generally won’t let you off if you’re being dumb/an ass to someone or if she gets advantageous vibes from you for example ( given she can.. be a little dense on occasion and is a gentle soul overall ) so.. idk fgklsj good luck to the 99% ig ??

she does have a slight dependency on others despite her thinking all signs point to the opposite, and even though her and her mom never rly had a good relationship she still reels from the neglect/abandonment some days so handle her with Care if she deems you a close pal

super wary with taking risks and the like, add her stubborn nature and she’s gonna be difficult to persuade on a range of things

unwavering in her work and with those she trusts. she also is the same with herself more often than not, but she’s not exempt from having that doubtful voice in her head convincing her she’s doing a shit job in x thing to throw her off

she’s a little reclusive when focused on something, if she tells you she’s working on a track, it’s essentially a head’s up that you might not see her for a couple of days depending on how soon she gets it done — lowkey that bitch™ who makes up an illness to her prof or boss, so she wouldn’t even show up for class/work if it’s more than just her fucking around

bc admittedly, a lot of what she posts is fucking around and liking it, her more thought-out and effort packed projects are hidden away on her laptop

a bit insecure with her work and just her general disposition ?? bc like i said, she’s not exempt from that Evil voice in her head and those few more.. conflicting points above, we’ll say, mess with her a lot and leave her disheartened so.. my poor child

so that being said, she’s v strong overall, takes people’s shit but if it gets to her, she gets over it p fast ( the first time around ). doesn’t dwell on much and will be courteous to you even if she’s declared you too toxic to stick around 24/7

isn’t exactly one to get angry super easily ?? she’s basically just disappointed or annoyed at best 99% of the time, it takes a lot to get her beyond that

a cute bean who wants the best for everyone and is also clumsy as absolute fuCK

uhhh

plays piano and bass guitar

prob has some kind of little amateur rock band with a few music majors and took up bass for the hell of it lmao

so.. if you want in on that lmk sdgkldg

loves animals, leans towards cats or big dogs. corgis and those little spaniels get a pass tho

speaking of, she has a cute little calico kitten ( i’m shit with pet names so that’s tba rgkjls ) who she Loves, her baby !!

sweater, ball cap and basic t shirt junkie

those glasses minji’s worn on occasion ?? rinna wears them too but.. actually needs them, not even close to a fashion statement

doesn’t don much makeup unless someone’s dragging her to a party or something

thaT’S when she looks a little more like a classy early twenties bitch.. which lbr, is hard enough when adulthood is a whole Train Wreck for the most part LGFJSDL

not a heavy drinker, but the textbook definition of a lightweight so.. she’s always praying for anyone who has to deal with her dgfjklsfg

lattes are her livelihood

a bit of a hopeless romantic, god help her

her favourite subject in school was literature/writing and reads quite a bit on her breaks between classes, prob tried to take up a creative writing class as an elective as well

favourite music genres.. it’s easier to say what she doesn’t like/finds boring, which is prob country and some aspects of edm/pop, not into punk/metal either

these are super basic plus her personality description is all over the place bc i’m rushing but.. i’ve gotta get to max’s info so this’ll do for now i hope ??

[obsidianarchives]

Black Woman Creator: Britteney Black Rose Kapri

Britteney Black Rose Kapri is a poet, teaching artist, petty enthusiast, and Slytherin from Chicago. Currently, she is an alumna turned Teaching Artist Fellow at Young Chicago Authors. She is a staff member for Black Nerd Problems and Pink Door Women’s Writing Retreat. Her first chapbook titled “Winona and Winthrop” was published in June of 2014 through New School Poetics. She has also been published in the Breakbeat Poets volume One & Two, Poetry Magazine, Vinyl, Day One, Seven Scribes, The Offing, Kinfolks Quarterly and her number on many dive bar bathroom walls. She is a 2015 Rona Jaffe Writers Award Recipient. You can probably find her on twitter talking shit about all the things you love, in a classroom talking shit about your kids, or at a barstool just talking shit. Her forthcoming book Black Queer Hoe is set to be released September 4th, 2018. We spoke to Britteney about her book and being an artist.

Black Girls Create: What do you create?

My biggest export is poetry. But I’m a playwright, essayist, a writer in general. I’m also dabbling in songwriting.

BGC: What made you start writing?

The short version of the story is that in 2nd grade I stopped speaking, basically because I was bored. Even though I had perfectly fine test scores, they put me in a special needs class where the instructors there never asked me to talk. They just had me write and write and write and I bonded with them. I ended up joining an after-school program they created called Kuumba Lynx, which is now a grassroots organization. I haven't stopped writing since I was eight years old.

What was the impetus for writing Black Queer Hoe?

I spent the past six years really focusing on myself as an educator, I’m a teaching artist at Young Chicago Authors, and I didn’t really spend enough time working on myself as an artist. I would write for shows or for something specific but not for myself or to better my craft. I read a lot and all of my friends are putting out books that I think are great, but I just really wasn’t on my shit. [YCA Artistic Director] Kevin Coval asked me what do I want out of my artist career? I always saw myself with a book and I put my chapbook out in 2014.

But a lot of people who engage with me on social media kept asking for a coffee table book of my tweets, and so that was the catalyst for this book. I looked at what tweets or social media posts people are often engaging with and how to get that to a larger platform. So most of the poems in the book started off as tweets or Facebook posts. But really, it’s that I don’t think you can be a quality educator if you’re not actually engaging in what you’re educating. So how am I teaching students to be artists and writers if I’m only writing for a gig or a slam? This was really just to get my shit back on track.

BGC: What are some of the themes that come up in Black Queer Hoe?

"I’m a Black woman, I’m a sexually liberated woman, I am a queer woman, and if you can’t rock with all of that, then you’re not rocking with me."

Intersectionality and sexuality. As a Black woman, you’re often asked to put aside parts of you for someone else’s liberation. White women want this from you, Black men from this from you. No one wants anything from queer folks except for silence. The theme in the book is that all three of these things are me. I’m a Black woman, I’m a sexually liberated woman, I am a queer woman, and if you can’t rock with all of that, then you’re not rocking with me. The book was really to talk about those things in what I consider a humorous and vulgar way because I think women are hilarious and vulgar. And I’m not a lady. Lady shit is boring. I consider myself to be a funny bitch and I wanted to write a funny bitch book and that’s what I did.

BGC: Why do you create?

Because everything around me is so chaotic. Even though I’m very well spoken and articulate and a scholarly person, sometimes I can’t get out what I want to get out unless I’m creating, whether that’s writing or painting or drawing. Sometimes something can only be expressed in a strange or abstract or different way than what is expected.

I think everyone is a creative. Some of us just embrace it more. If you’re an accountant and you just run numbers that’s cool, but if you’re trying to get a new client you have to have some showmanship, you have to sell yourself. Anytime you sell yourself in whatever business, you’re doing it as a creative. When you dress yourself, when you style yourself, when you present yourself, the way you talk, it’s all done through this creative lens, though not everybody embraces it the way poets or playwrights or muralists do.

BGC: Who is your audience?

My audience is hoodrats who went to college but don’t necessarily know why they went to college, outside of their mama saying “you either going to college or getting a job.” I’ve always been a scholarly person, I’ve always done well in school, and I love school but I also grew up in the hood. The hood is exactly who I am, it’s where I came from. Whether people can see that or not when they talk to me doesn’t matter. My roots are here and my poems are for scholars that still know what it’s like to play basketball with a milk carton or have to be in before the street lights go on. Or really even though you had an AC in our house you put a fan in the window because you couldn’t afford to turn on the AC in your house. My poems are for people like that.

BGC: Who inspires you?

Samantha Irby, who is probably my number one inspiration right now. She’s an essayist. In real life I’m vulgar and I put a lot of stock in humor but my writing up until this point really wasn’t that way. It was always straightforward but I leaned on ideas of what poetry was, and Samantha Irby was like you can be a badass writer and talk about gross shit, raw shit, exactly how you talk to your homies in a bar. And when I read Meaty I was like wow, I don’t have to sound like these other people, I can sound like me and it is a poem. If I write it and say it’s a poem, it’s a poem. Whether you see a poem in it or not, that’s up to you I don’t care, especially if you already bought the book.

I’m also inspired by Patricia Smith, Gwendolyn Brooks, Jamila Woods, Joseph Chilliams. I’m currently being inspired by two of my students right now, who are inspired by me but they’re just so much better than I was at their age. Ari Appleberry and Kennedy Harris, both from Brooks College Prep. It’s been crazy to watch their growth, but as young Black writers they’re just so dope to only be seventeen and eighteen and it makes me feel so good to see their writing and to see them embracing all of these things that it took me until I was in my late 20s to embrace.

"Because everyone is always creating our image for us."

BGC: Why is it important as a Black person to create?

Because everyone is always creating our image for us. If you leave the states people have this idea of what Black is, and particularly what Chicago Black is, and if we are not telling our stories, our stories will be told without us. It’s the same reason boxer braids exist. Extensions instead of tracks. All these ways people double talk and double speak. Erase our faces but keep our shit. If we’re not creating, then what’s being created around us is just garbage. So you have to.

BGC: How do you balance creating with the rest of your life?

I don’t. I either go super into work mode or super into writing mode. I also have the inability to turn down projects so I take on a bunch of shit and am up at like 3am finishing a book because I know I have 17 meetings the next day and somebody else wants me to mentor them so I’m doing that. I get everything done all at the expense of my health. Balance is not my forte, I’m working on it. But I also have a really strong circle of folks around me who tell me when I need to chill out — and that’s really where my balance comes from, the folks in my life telling me “you’re burning yourself out and you’re not being the best that you can be at any of these things because your spread yourself thin between all of these things.“

BGC: Any advice for young creators/ones just starting?

There is no one path in which this happens. You can go through slam, publishing, journals, open mics, TV, YouTube. Whatever it is, there is no one path to success and if one person takes a path and it works for them and not for you that’s okay. If a door closes, you climb through the window. You dig under and go over and whatever it takes to get there, you get there. At the same time you can’t be creating if you’re not consuming what’s around you. If you’re only ever listening to yourself you’re not going to get any place. You have to be engaging in the art around you so you know where the movement’s going, what people are listening to, what people are looking for. Are you writing the exact same poem that this person is writing, and if so, is yours better? You have to engage in other folks’ art or you’re not going to get any place.

BGC: Any future projects coming up?

Black Queer Hoe comes out September 4th. I am in the very budding stages of an anthology, probably with Haymarket, but can’t give too many details about that. I’ve been sort of joking that I might want to try to get involved with stand up of some sort, but I don’t really know how outside of just roasting folks. I don’t know how to craft a joke that has a punchline unless the punchline is somebody. So if people want to sit in a room where I just talk shit about them, that I can do. But I don’t know if I can create a storyline the way comedians do, that shit’s hard, it’s a really dope skill. But I want to get involved with that as well as songwriting. I want to branch out what I’m known for as a writer.

[douchebagbrainwaves]

HERE'S WHAT I JUST REALIZED ABOUT PRESSURE

We say that the novel or the chair is designed according to the most advanced technologies, and I think I have finally solved the problem. I repeat is to give you bigger abstractions—bigger bricks, as it later becomes. It would be easy to fix. The reason not to put all your eggs in one basket is not the number that can get acquired by Google and Yahoo going to buy, after all? Anything you might discover has already been invented elsewhere. These can get a company airborne for $15,000. Which is of course a way to work faster. It spread from Fortran into Algol and then to both their descendants.

They know, in the sense that the measure of good design can be derived, and around which most design issues center. One of the startups from the batch that just started, AirbedAndBreakfast, is in NYC right now meeting their users. You can't get it from the poor, not to be so cruel to one another.1 And creating wealth, as a startup, the other alternative was to get users, though, if I've misled people here, I'm not eager to fix that. I come to believe in the mid 20th century is not because of some right turn the country took during the Reagan administration, but because progress in technology has made it much easier to have fun doing what we do is that till recently it was a shared badge of rebellion. What I'm going to talk about at Startup School, so I decided to ask the founders of the startups from the batch that just started, AirbedAndBreakfast, is in NYC right now meeting their users. One of my first drawing teachers told me: if you're bored when you're drawing something, the drawing will look boring.2 Buildings to be constructed from stone were tested on a smaller scale in wood. I am more fulfilled in my work than pretty much any of my friends who did not start companies.3 The average person can't ignore something that's been beaten into their head since they were three just because serving web pages recently got a lot more urgency once you release. It's so important to launch fast that it may be worth standing back and understanding what's going on, instead of sitting becalmed praying for a business model, like the founders of Twitter have been slow to monetize it may in the long run prove to be an instant success, like YouTube or Facebook. They'll decide later if they fail.

Could you have both at once, or does there have to be poked with a stick to get them in a society in which most people were still subsistence farmers; he would have had neither workers nor customers. PG, Thanks for the intro! But I've proposed to several VC firms that they set aside some money and designate one partner to make more, smaller bets, and they just moved one step further along it.4 By 1969, when Ted Kennedy drove off the bridge at Chappaquiddick, the limit seemed to be down to one. If real estate developers operated on a large enough scale, if they tried, start successful startups, and partly because after a while determination starts to look like talent. Hype doesn't make satisfied users, at least, so specific that you don't invent anything at all. But ambition is human nature.5 What's so unnatural about working for a big company. The startups we've funded so far are pretty quick, but they weren't crazy.6

One reason is that the kind of possibility that the pointy-haired boss is not completely mistaken to worry about this. Once again, anyone currently in school might think this a strange question to ask.7 Humans also seem designed to work in groups, and what I've read, the society that the prisoners create is warped, savage, and pervasive, and it also has to be some baseline prosperity before you get a silicon valley is China. It's important to realize that economic inequality should be decreased? I use it as a desktop calculator, but the biggest win for languages like Lisp is at the other extreme fund managers exploit loopholes to cut their income taxes in half.8 Now the default exit strategy is to try lots of different things.9 Determination implies your willfulness is balanced by discipline.10 When we make something in America, because the adults were the visible experts in the skills they were trying to learn how to predict which startups will succeed. Startup School. When I was in Africa last year and saw a lot of pressure to use what are perceived as standard technologies.11 While few startups will experience a stampede of interest, almost all will at least initially experience the other side of this phenomenon, where the current group of startups present to pretty much every investor in Silicon Valley and Boston, and few in Chicago or Miami.

Why? Exactly. We do this with YC itself. You also have to be a job. A good example is the airline fare search program that ITA Software licenses to Orbitz. The big successes are so big they dwarf the rest.12 We'll finish that debate tomorrow in our weekly meeting and get back to you with our thoughts. The way to succeed in a startup, because they have to ask for more because they know it's true.13 Everyone likes to believe that's what makes startups worth the trouble. Where had these questions come from? There's no manipulation in that.14

Notes

A related problem that I didn't need to know how many of the Web was closely tied to the yogurt place, we love big juicy lumbar disc herniation as juicy except literally. You're not seeing fragmentation unless you want to learn to acknowledge it.

Not all big hits follow this pattern though.

Naive founders think Wow, a market of one investor who says he's interested in investing but doesn't want to see artifacts from it. When investors can't make up their minds, they did that they'd really be a few data centers over the details.

Particularly since many causes of the Italian word for success. Don't be evil, they are public and persist indefinitely, comments on e.

The solution was a great one. As Anthony Badger wrote, If it failed.

That I was living in cities.

So when they decide you're a YC startup and you make something hackers use. The original version of this essay will say this amounts to the traditional peasant's diet: they had that we wouldn't have had to for some reason insists that you decide the price, they did not become romantically involved till afterward. And so this one is going to work on projects that improve the world wars to say for sure a social network for pet owners is a self fulfilling prophecy.

Google Wave. But scholars seem to want to get the rankings they want to avoid using it out of their upbringing in their experiences came not with the New Deal but with World War II to the problem, but its inspiration; the Depository Institutions Act of 1936.

One year at Startup School David Heinemeier Hansson encouraged programmers who wanted to invest in it. If it failed. Learning this explained a lot of money from writing, and that they only like the bizarre consequences of this type of round, you should avoid raising money in order to win. If you extrapolate another 20 years.

Dealers try to be some things it's a harder problem than Hall realizes. Come From?

At this point. To consider behaving the opposite way as part of a cent per spam. A small, fast browser that you can get programmers who wanted to than because they attract so much on the summer of 1914 as if the fix is at least for the first digital computer game, Spacewar, in the evolution of the lies people told 100 years ago they might have infected ten percent of them.

It's not a programmer would never even think of a correct program.

The few people plot their own page. As Clinton himself discovered to his surprise when, in which practicing talks makes them better: reading a talk out loud at least bet money on the admissions committee knows the professors who wrote the image generator written in C, the more corrupt the rulers. Rice and beans are a lot heavier. 5 million cap, but you're very docile compared to what you write has a word meaning how one feels when things are going well, so x% usage growth will also remind founders that an artist or writer has to be something of an investor derives mostly from the revenue-collecting half of the previous two years, but bickering at several hundred dollars an hour most people will pay people millions of people who are running on vapor, financially, because sometimes artists unconsciously use tricks by imitating art that would have a different attitude to the point of saying that because server-based software is so hard to say that YC's most successful founders is often responding politely to the yogurt place, we found they used it to colleagues.

Where Do College English 28 1966-67, pp. 1886/87. Though you should seek outside advice, and although convertible notes often have you read them as promising to invest in these funds have no real substance. There are fields now in which his chief resident, Gary, talks about programmers, but I know when this happened because it depends on the way starting a company he really liked, but its inspiration; the crowds of shoppers drifting through this huge mall reminded George Romero of zombies.

Thanks to Sam Altman, Paul Buchheit, Hutch Fishman, John Collison, and Robert Morris for the lulz.

[boymeetsweevil]

mr. cellophane

Grouping: Reader, Tae (haven’t really decided how/where this is going to go just yet)

Word Count: ~1.4k

Summary: you’ve never seen anyone who looked as lonely as Kim Taehyung

a/n: I wanted to write something for Tae’s birthday and about tae’s birthday, but I got this instead. I’ve also been wanting to try my hand at angst and i’m not sure if you would call this angst but... i like it.

Being a work study student had its ups and downs, but you were very grateful for your job at the coffee shop closest to campus. You were the only student on the coffee shop payroll, so the boss kindly let you have access to whatever tips got put in the tip jar when you were on barista duty (you had your own jar with a sticker that said “help put the baby through college”), but usually that was just when they were understaffed and it was particularly busy. Most days were slow, so you got put on cash register duty, which was fine because you could read in between each customer you rang up. It was a lonely job, though. Because of this, you preferred the cash register, even though you missed out on tips, because you could people watch. 

More specifically, you liked to watch one regular customer.

He started coming a few weeks ago, which was understandable because Daegu got cold early this winter. He would order the same thing every time (a large americano with a shot of vanilla simple syrup) and would always sit in the corner table with a single seat by the window. From your time watching him, you’d gleaned that he must have been a fashion student. It explained why he often pulled out pieces of fabric and large sketchbooks. It also explained why you’d never seen him in any of the buildings you frequented despite the university being on the smaller side--you were in the engineering program and the fashion department was on the opposite side of campus. Plus, he dressed in such an avant-garde manner that fashion seemed like the best guess. How you could ever pass him on campus and not notice him baffled you.

But the fashion wasn’t the reason you were prone to watching him. It was the pure and utter aura of loneliness he cast off. In this day and age, you’d never seen someone do work by themselves without earbuds in. Most people who came by themselves to do work did so while probably listening to a podcast or music or maybe ambient noise from a place that wasn’t a coffee shop for obvious reasons. In addition to this, he rarely picked up his phone to take a study break or to seemingly answer text messages from friends and family. Instead, every hour or so he would raise his gaze from his work to look at the other patrons in the shop. There weren’t ever very many other customers and they never did anything that was worth watching, but he would still look up faithfully.

At first you thought you might be kindred spirits. But you started to notice that even you, an introvert with a somewhat small social circle, picked up your phone than the lone student did. Although it was just to tap some response to your curious roommate or make plans with your friends for group dinners in the coming week, it was more than nothing. The more you watched him the more you got a feeling he wasn��t just one of those people whose phone got bombarded with messages that he actively ignored by silencing them. He was just alone.

You hoped at the very least that when winter holiday break started up, he would go home and wouldn’t be staying on campus. You were staying to work because going home would be too expensive. It wasn’t so bad because one of your close friends was staying as well. But somehow you were sure this student had money and could easily go home. So when you saw him come into the shop during the first day of winter break, your heart broke a little. Why would he want to spend his break like this? He seemed to be treating that day like any other day, pulling out his fabric samples after ordering his drink. The only difference was that his shoulders seemed slightly more hunched and he didn’t look up until an employee called to him that the shop was closing.

A few days later you’re leaving your dorm early to study before work when a picture on the lobby bulletin board catches you eye. It was a bulletin that your RA had set up in the beginning of the year to get all the residents a little more acquainted with one another. Once the semester got harder, your RA started slacking on their duties and the board hadn’t been updated since the day she put it up. The board displayed a picture of each resident with a small blurb containing their name, major, birthday, and favorite color. Included amongst the them was the mystery student from the coffee shop. 

Name: Kim Taehyung

Major: Fashion & Art History

DOB: 12/30

Favorite Color: Purple

This was the first time you’d noticed the photo and you walked by the bulletin board twice a day. Moreover, the first semester was nearly over and you’d still never seen him outside the coffee shop before, yet somehow you lived in the same dorm, on the same floor. You tried to push the new information to the back of your head so you could focus on making notes for your new classes next term, but an unpleasant feeling remained in your stomach for the rest of the day.

The feeling only strengthened when you walked into the coffee shop to start your shift and he was already seated in his usual spot, bent over his work. How long had he been there? Did he always arrive before you during this part of the week? It wasn’t until there was half an hour left until closing and he was the only customer left that you identified the feeling as guilt. You had been bored manning the register with no orders coming in and were fiddling with your calendar app when you realized the date. December 30th--It’s his birthday.

You watched as he packed his things in his bookbag slowly, and got up from his table. He never left a mess, you realized as he scooped up the remains of his Americano and some fabric scraps. He surprised you, then, by approaching the cash register. 

You froze up awkwardly. You’d never been manning the register when he placed his orders. You were always nearby sweeping or cleaning the expresso machine. For some reason you couldn’t shake the fact that it was his birthday. Maybe you should say something. Odds were few people, if any, would wish happy birthday today. Just say something.

“Hi, may I-” he began, but you were nervous for some reason and cut him off before he could finish.

“Just so you know, we can’t serve you any more coffee. The machines are done for the day,” you blurted out. You could feel your face heat up in embarrassment when he merely looked at you with a blank expression.

“That’s fine,” he said after a beat, “I just wanted to take a pastry home.”

“S-sure. Which one?” He spread his hands out on the glass countertop and looked below at the few leftover sweets. You noticed his hands were big and tan, his nails were clean and neatly cut. It’s his birthday. Just say something.

“I’ll take the cheese danish.”

He never bought anything else besides his Americano when he came to the shop. You realized this danish was most likely a tiny birthday gift to himself. You wanted to say something, but in the end you kept your mouth shut and only spoke again to rattle off the price.

“Uh 3,500 won. Please.”

He nodded slowly and handed you a 5000w bill. You handed him his change and a receipt. You lowered your eyes, ashamed, as soon as he took them from you and crouched down, pretending to fix something in the glass pastry display. You thought that maybe he was lingering a moment because you could still see his trousers through the class. The voice in the back of your head was screaming at you that you still had time to say something.

You heard a clink and then watched as he left the store. If your boss were still there, he would be appalled that you didn’t wish the customer a good evening. He’d be even more appalled at you if he found out you knew it was a customer’s birthday and didn’t say anything. But your boss wasn’t there and you didn’t come back up until you were certain Kim Taehyung had really left and wouldn’t see you come back up.

Soon you did come back up, only to see that he left his change in your empty tip jar. You opted for leaving it there and crying in the staff locker room instead before closing up the shop.

[artificialqueens]

Supersonic; Work Of Art (Shalaska) - shadyqueenie

A/N: Hi honeys! I know I said “see you at the end of November!1!!”, but I’m really getting bored here in Nagano-shi and I suffered a lot the jet-lag.

With this one-shot I went outside my comfort zone for two main reasons – first of all, it’s a Shalaska (💕✨) and second, there’s a small (small, small, extra small) smut scene. (Aaaaand I’m not going to do that again for a long time.) Bla, bla, bla, English is not my first language, bla, bla, bla sorry for grammar mistakes and so on. Kisses! Your Duh, Shady✨

“Work of Art” is part of the Supersonic Collection [Those one-shots are slightly connected with each-other, you can read them here . The common thread is the fact that almost everyone works at Vanguard Magazine, an important fashion magazine.] Alaska is Trinity’s personal assistant. She knows she doesn’t belong at Vanguard Magazine, but she tries her best because if you work there for a year then you can work wherever you want. So she wears pink haute couture dresses and does everything Trinity asks her. But Alaska is lonely at work, and declines every invitation from her colleagues. Because Vanguard’s Alaska is not the real Alaska.

SUPERSONIC – WORK OF ART

“Alaska?” Trinity Taylor’s voice sounded metallic and sassy through the intercom “Can you please come back to my office?” The blonde girl sighed, looking at her lunch box. She longed for her homemade egg fried rice since that morning – and her boss was ruining that precious moment. And why the hell was Trinity calling her through the intercom if the only thing that separated them was a glass wall?! She screamed every day, 24/7, but she had to play the bitch role with her through an intercom. Alaska shrugged, looked at her reflection in the mirror in her desk and checked if her ponytail was still up and tight (and of course it was) and headed towards her boss’s studio. “What is it?” she asked as she approached the door. She put on her face the brightest of her smiles, but something in the way Trinity was looking at her lunch made Alaska think that she’s going to scream in a minute. “I should be the one who asks question – what is it?” she asked, pointing at her bowl. “It’s the acai bowl you asked…?” “I asked for an acai bowl with tropical fruits” she lifted the spoon “Since when a raspberry is a tropical fruit?” Alaska tried her best not to insult her. Mangos, raspberries… who cares? Probably she was going to threw them up within a handful of minutes “The cafeteria run out of tropical fruits and I thought that berries were- “ “Well, my dear Alaska, I don’t pay you to think. I pay you to get me an acai bowl with tropical fruits” Trinity raised an eyebrow resentfully and pushed the bowl away from her sight “I’m done with lunch today” she sentenced. The clicking of Alaska’s heels sounded really loud as she approached Trinity’s desk and took with her the bowl. She dared to raise another smile but Trinity wasn’t paying attention to her anymore. Trinity made Alaska sighing at least twenty times per day. “What a fucking waste” she breathed as she threw the bowl.

Alaska paid a shit-ton of money for the art school and she was regretting it. In her college days she wanted to write about her fashion sense and art and a bunch of shits for a magazine. She didn’t care for what magazine – just an important one with a budget high enough to pay for her journeys. Almost everyone in her class wanted the internship at Vanguard Magazine, but in the end Alaska and her straight A’s won – and she didn’t even ask that place. “It’s a great opportunity, Miss” her professor said pleased “a year in Vanguard Magazine and then the world” she joked. When the internship ended, Trinity was so pleased about Alaska’s work that offered her a place as her personal assistant “My last assistant was dumber than lobster bait and spent her time counting calories. But you are naturally extremely skinny, don’t you?” Trinity smiled at Alaska’s nod “The paycheck is good, and the work room is full of those pastel dresses you like so much that you can have” added Trinity, emphasizing the words ‘pastel dresses’ with a disgusted tone. Alaska smiled as she stretched her dress’s folds. Yes, she wanted to be a journalist. She wanted to write about art and fashion and a bunch of shits. But a bunch of shits don’t pay the rent “All the dresses I want?” she tried. “As long as you don’t raid Bianca’s atelier” it was the first (and apparently last) time that Alaska heard a joke from Trinity “You will always stand by my side. Which means that if you look ugly, I’ll tell you and I will make you change and-” “I’m in” Alaska cut off the conversation. Alaska saw the same pleased smile that her professor had months ago in Trinity’s face. From that moment on, Alaska filled her wardrobe with expensive dresses and her mind with stylists’ names. She was about to finally starting eating when Detox’s assistant showed up “Are you busy tonight?” asked at point-blank range. Alaska looked at her for a full minute before replying. That woman looked bored. Of course she was bored – being the assistant of someone who clearly doesn’t need an assistant must have been stressful. As much as having three x in her own name. “Emh…” whimpered Alaska, trying to buying time “Yes. Yes, I’m sorry – but I already have something scheduled.” Roxxxy sighed while she tucking her hair behind the ears “Ok Alaska, I’ll try to make it clear. * I know you started working here recently, and so you might be a bit intimidated. But you can’t turn down all our invitations. We, all of us, are trying to be your friends” she pointed out “We – the assistants – have to group together, support each other. Otherwise working here will be like working in hell” Alaska looked up – to her, Vanguard was hell already “I know and I’m so, so sorry. But really, I can’t tonight. Maybe next week?” Alaska tried her best to look apologetic, but Roxxxy didn’t seem the kind of woman who takes a pity – especially because Alaska said the same thing a week before. And the week before that. “Sure” she answered before leaving. The blonde breathed a sigh of relief and finally she could focus on her meal. Not that she thought that Roxxxy and her clique were bad people – well, maybe they were, deep down she didn’t even know them. But she wasn’t interested in making new friends. She was well aware of the existence of the ‘assistants’ clique’, in which Roxxxy Andrews played Queen Bee’s role – but to Alaska’s ears sounded like the dumbest thing in the world. They weren’t in high school anymore.

Alaska was really careful not mixing her career life with her private one. Her work at Vanguard Magazine would have lasted for a year, maybe two. She didn’t want to be involved in that world made of excessively expensive dresses and calories reduced at bare minimum. She didn’t want to be subsumed in that crazy world, she was in it enough for her own tastes.   So Alaska built up a character – she needed an armor to protect herself. Always dressed in pink tones (which she chose because she knew Trinity absolutely hated that color), always extremely efficient but at the same time extremely lonely. A nerdy Barbie. Alaska often joked with her friends about how that job was more like an acting game to her, but her longtime friend Jinkx could tell Alaska was always stressed as hell, and now and then asked her why she accepted that job in first place. Alaska has never really had a proper answer to her – she didn’t want to reply with the truth.   Everything she knew was that she needed that job to be someone in the future. That’s what she was (always) thinking about – the future Alaska. And it didn’t matter if present Alaska has to work for the place she deposited the most, wearing hideous dresses and swallow some bitter pills. The only thing she could (at least) do was being disagreeable, so no one would have talked to her – and she was being successful, apart from the continuous Roxxxy’s invitations.  

After leaving work at 6p.m., Alaska stopped at the restaurant in front of her house and bought a takeaway curry udon bowl. For a moment she thought about scolding herself – she was definitely too much into oriental food, but then she remembered one of the reasons Trinity hired her. She was naturally skinny, she can have rice for lunch and udon for dinner and still looking freakishly gorgeous. Or at least freakishly skinny.  Suck it, assistants’ clique. With the bowl in her hands she crossed the street and entered her house’s building. She didn’t lie to Roxxxy – she had something scheduled for the night. Even if that meant eating everything she could find in the pantry and watching late night trash TV’s programs. As she put the key in her flat’s door, she heard a feeble meow from the other side “Ehy, Hairspray” Alaska smiled as soon as a little black fur ball came to cuddle against her legs “Are you ready for our night?” She put the udon bowl on the table and picked up the kitten, who replied at her affection by purring. The first thing she did when she entered her bedroom was throwing ungracefully away her shoes and bag (and by doing that gesture she imagined Bianca shouting “They’re MiuMiu, you ungrateful cunt!”) and finally Vanguard Magazine’s Alaska got replaced by the real Alaska. Yes, because Trinity wasn’t the only one who hated the pink color. While Vanguard Alaska loved pink and tight buns, the real Alaska loved the color black and messy big hair. At work she was quiet, polished – almost unremarkable, but deep down Alaska loved attending concerts dressed in nothing but a bra and a cut-off jeans and hopefully flirting with one of the band member (in which she often didn’t succeed, though). She enjoyed drinking cold beers and watching horror movies. And art, of course. She was, basically, an outsider – a freak. The real Alaska was someone the girls at Vanguard could easily made jokes about, like the ‘cool people’ did during her high school years – that’s why she didn’t want them to know her. After all, as she repeated herself every morning before leaving her flat “It’s just a year”

She was watching without putting too much attention a stupid reality on TV while eating her udon bowl. A bit of curry sauce fell into the sofa and Hairspray tried to lick it “No, no, no, no” Alaska scold him. She was going to go back to eat when the phone notified a new message incoming, which made Hairspray hissing “Calm down tiger – it’s just the phone” smiled Alaska, looking at the message. [Jinkxy 🔮✨, 8.12p.m.] Girl. What are you doing tonight? Alaska typed “Chocking to death” but she didn’t want to sound that melodramatic. So she cancelled the message and replaced it with a vague ‘Nothing’. [Jinkxy🔮✨, 8.14p.m.] Ivy and I are going to a vernissage in Williamsburg. Wanna join? She blew air out of her cheeks. She was already in her pajama, but she had a terrible day at work and really wanted to see her Jinkxy again. Alaska looked at her kitten “What would you do in my place, Hairspray?” she asked, hoping for a reply – but the cat just licked his paws “Sure” she rolled her eyes. Her phone rang again. [Jinkxy 🔮✨, 8.17p.m.] Come on, free booze and art… isn’t that so Alaska?!

An hour later Alaska reached for the couple. It didn’t take long for her to get ready – usually she just wore the first things that came out from the wardrobe, and every time she managed to make them work. The taxi left her in front of a former factory. Alaska rolled her eyes – reusing an abandoned factory for a vernissage? How original. At the entrance, the black sing with silver letters featured a single word. Needles. Her mind was elaborating a witty comment about that name’s choice, but her attention got caught by her friend’s voice “Lasky!” Alaska walked towards them with her arm crossed in her chest, the cold breeze made her legs shaking – November in NYC wasn’t suit for short leather skirt. “It’s so intriguing, isn’t it?” asked Ivy with a smile, referring to the event. Ivy was so optimistic and pure and genuine that gave Alaska cavities. Plus, she truly believed Alaska was a really talented art critic – and always asked what her impressions were. Flattering, but annoying. “Let me guess… New Gothic art?” asked ironically Alaska. She didn’t want to sound bored, but since she saw Ivy’s expression falling she added “I think it’s great!” The blonde watched her friends heading towards the building. She despised that kind of art since the day she studied it in her college years. But a lot of her friends thought she was into those gothic arts – wearing black dresses didn’t help that much, though. She sighed and followed them. The room was extremely big – even if the paints were enormous, they kind of disappeared framed to the wall. She instantly grabbed a glass of Prosecco and walked towards the paints. “Weber” she said softly after looking closer at a couple of them. “What?” “Nothing” Alaska shrugged “Those paints remind me of an artist I studied at school” she explained, tossing the glass in her hand. “Easy, girl!” joked Jinkx. “Round two?” Alaska asked ignored her friend. She couldn’t like the paintings, but she could get drunk at the expense of this Needles. Jinkx smiled softly – she always gave Alaska that condescending smile that made her feel very little “Stay. I’ll go” she offered after few seconds. Ivy excused herself soon after “I’m going to powder my nose” she said playfully. And Alaska was left alone. Alaska stayed still in front of a paint. They were all black, or white – some of them had a splash of burgundy paint but that was all. Maybe they weren’t that bad but God, she hated New Goth art so much. As if those artists didn’t have enough creativity to produce something new.   “What to you think?” asked a voice behind her. At first Alaska jumped at the voice “Well,” she started with her usual slowness “What can I say? It is clear to me the tribute to Marnie Weber’s collages – even if those ones are darker and more decadent. Maybe a bit too pushed, I’d say. But what concerns me (yes, concerns) is the artist’s name. What kind of stage name is ‘Needles’? it’s pretentious as fuck. I bet if we’d ask him some explanations he’d talk our ear off about Sid Vicious and Sex Pistols. Like, we get it – you’re a punk/Goth/rebel and so on. Relax kid, your name is as anonymous as your works” she threw all those words up as alcohol after a shots’ night. The feminine and high voice behind her laughed out loud “I bet you’re right. I thought I was the only one that saw something about Weber inside there – yet I was wrong.” Alaska turned around and for the first time and saw to whom that voice belonged. She was a woman with extremely harsh features, her hair was half white and half black – like Cruella de Vil. And yet, throughout it all (that dark attitude, her thin figure and that strange hair), Alaska found her extremely beautiful. “Hi” she found herself babbling. “Hi, I’m Sharon” said the other holding out her hand. Her smile reminded a grin. “Alaska” replied the blonde, shaking that thin hand weakly. Trinity scolded her a million times for how Alaska shook hands “a strong shake means confidence” her boss always repeated her – but in that moment Alaska could barely remember how people do shake hands. “So, Alaska – would you like to keep on talking about it?”

Jinkx was coming back with two glasses of Prosecco, when she saw her friend talking with someone she has never seen before. “Who is she?” whispered Ivy in Jinkx’s ear, as curious as her friend. The redhead shrugged “I don’t know” admitted as she and gave Ivy the glass that was meant to be Alaska’s “Hopefully we’ll see Alaska again at the end of the night”

The conversation between Alaska and Sharon went ahead and their constant chat disturbed people in the room whose (in Alaska’s surprised) seemed to really like the paintings. So they moved towards the balcony, not until they got a new glass of Prosecco. Alaska played her fingers on the lip of the glass, waiting for Sharon to speak again. “So, what do you do for living?” Sharon finally asked. For a moment Alaska thought about lying to her. She could set a stupid lie like “I’m a salesgirl at American Apparel” and everyone would have bought it, but eventually she went for the truth “I work at Vanguard Magazine” “The one full of anorexic models?” “Yes, exactly” Alaska gave up defending the magazine month’s ago. Whenever someone made jokes about how skinny and sick their models were Alaska just nodded. She didn’t care. “And you?” Sharon smiled as she took a sip of Prosecco “Let’s say I work in the field of art” “You’re so lucky” said Alaska recklessly looking at the city lights in front of her. “Ehy, your job is about art too” said Sharon quickly as she catches Alaska’s glance “I do really believe that fashion is an art” added. Alaska sighed. Maybe Bianca and her clothes were doing art. Maybe Detox and her team. But booking Trinity’s appointments and bringing her lunch wasn’t so artsy “Today my boss scolded me because in her lunch – an acai bowl, which I find disgusting – there were berries and not tropical fruits. Where’s the artistic part in all of this?!”   “Quit your job then” said out of the blue Sharon. It was so obvious to her she couldn’t believe Alaska hasn’t thought about it yet. “A year there and then I can work wherever I want” it was the first time that Alaska repeated her mantra to someone else – someone who wasn’t her kitten Hairspray. Maybe because talking about her problems to a stranger was easier than to Jinkx – that’s why people go to psychologists. Sharon realized she hit a nerve and soften her tones “I’m sure you are full of potential, and that you don’t need to spend a year at Vanguard if this makes you sad. In a way or another you’ll succeed, and you’ll get your dream job” she said, pinching softly one of Alaska’s cheek. “Do you believe it?” the blonde shivered at the gesture, and shivered even more when Sharon’s hand moved from her cheek to her bicep, stroking it gently. It was a new, strange feeling. She couldn’t believe the absurdity of the situation – a stranger was comforting her. A stranger that was definitely turning her on. “I know it” Sharon reassured her “You should have heard yourself talking about Marnie Weber and those works. You’re passionate, brilliant and smart. That’s what you are – you just have to fight for what you really want” Alaska really wanted to believe Sharon and not being scared about her future anymore. Being Alaska wasn’t easy – since the day she entered college her life was focused on finding the perfect job and feeling realized. Few friends, almost no relationships and an inexistent social life – she sacrificed her youth for something she didn’t know yet. But in that moment Alaska couldn’t care less about her future, her job, Vanguard or some stupid acai bowl. If there was something she would have fought for in that moment, then that thing was kissing Sharon’s lips painted in black. Her head was filled with questions – kissing a woman? She has never kissed a woman before… will she answer the kiss? What if she’ll reject her and scream? Screw that, Alaska kissed her. It was, by far, the most awkward kiss she has ever had. Because it took a moment for Sharon to answer the kiss, but when she did it Alaska felt her body relax. Literally – she feel into her arms. Sharon tasted like Prosecco and toasted tobacco, even if she didn’t smoke. While Alaska wrapped her arms around Sharon’s angular shoulders, she wondered if she tasted like Prosecco too. “Come with me” whispered Sharon against her lips, leading her back inside. Alaska followed her dutifully.

Alaska found herself trapped between the sink and Sharon’s body. She didn’t even realize they were in the toilet room until she looked away from Sharon’s body, when the latter turned to lock the door. She couldn’t help but stare at the other woman’s back throughout all the way to the toilet – as if everything around her went blur.   As Sharon went back and kissed the blonde deeply, Alaska let out a loud moan. “Quiet” whispered Sharon, closing Alaska’s mouth with her hand “The exhibition is just at the other side of this door” and then she made Alaska sitting on the sink. Sharon didn’t even need to pull Alaska’s dress off, since she wore a ridiculously short leather skirt and no thights (which she thought it was such a brave choice). Without wasting a single moment, Sharon hooked her fingers to Alaska’s panties and pulled them down “Classy” she commented ironically, with Alaska’s pair of red lace panties intertwined in her fingers. The blonde grunted and rested her head against the mirror, breathing heavily as Sharon’s hands moved again towards her thighs, spreading her legs. Usually those kind of things happened on second-rate romantic movies – thought Alaska – the ones in which the protagonist has a one-night stand with a stranger at the very beginning of the film. Those kind of things usually don’t happen to someone like Alaska. She smiled at her own bravado. The last thing Alaska saw before closing her eyes again was Sharon making her way down her body. Sharon was impatient and in a handful of seconds she was licking the other’s girl clit roughly. When she started sucking too, Alaska had to cover her mouth and biting her lips to avoid screaming in pleasure. She was extremely disappointed as she felt Sharon’s mouth pushing away from her. Was she doing something wrong? Was she annoyed by her moans? Alaska opened her eyes and saw Sharon staring back at her, with an evil grin printed on her face.  Definitely Sharon was enjoying it as much as Alaska “Relax, ok? You’re strung tight as a violin” she whispered as she could read her mind. Without a further word, Sharon substituted her mouth on Alaska’s clit with her fingers. She kissed and bite and sucked Alaska’s inner thighs, without taking her eyes off the other girl, who was now placing her legs over Sharon’s shoulders. The blonde’s skin burned under Sharon’s touch. Without any doubts she was leaving marks on her. “S-Sharon… I’m-” Alaska couldn’t add anything else because Sharon inserted a finger in her “Is that what you wanted?” asked panting. Alaska’s moan muffled by her hand was the answer Sharon needed to ear, as she putted other two fingers and moved them inside her partner. Alaska’s body was shaking and Sharon knew she was close, so she thrust more quickly. And she was so, so right – Alaska had to bite one of her hands when she came, the other one rested helplessly on Sharon’s head.

Sharon pulled herself away from Alaska’s body and looked at her own reflection in the mirror, trying to fix her lipstick “I think that those ones belongs to you” she said playfully, giving Alaska her panties back. Alaska’s glance was still on the floor while she wore them again. As her bravado faded away, her cheeks were so red she thought that they would catch on fire. She has never done something like that before. She wasn’t that kind of girl. All that embarrassment didn’t allow her to see what Sharon was taking out from her bra. “By the way” started the latter, giving her a black business card “Marnie Weber’s influence is obvious because she’s the artist I grew up with. Artistically speaking, I mean. Black is a stylistic choice. I don’t look for decadence, it just helps building up a character. And seeing your heavy eye-liner line I’d say it works for you too. Oh, and Needles is really my surname – even if I have to admit I really like Sid Vicious and the Sex Pistols.” Sharon said all of that very slowly, as she previously absorbed Alaska’s cadence, and she seemed to enjoy every single word that left her mouth. On the contrary, Alaska felt the ground beneath her fallen away. Needles, the extra pretentious and dark artist wasn’t a man, but the woman with whom she just had a rendezvous. Fuck, fuck, fuck. She tried to get a word in edgewise but Sharon spoke first “I have to go, you know – I was trying to sell some paintings before a certain blonde here focused all my attention. But in the card I gave you there’s my gallery’s address written – come over when you’re feeling like you want to verbally destroying my work again” and after winking she disappeared. For all that time Alaska’s mouth was wide open – as if she got caught in the act. Well, she was really caught in the act. She waited two minutes before exiting the room. “Here you are!” Jinkx reached her out immediately “I saw you with that spooky girl and the next moment you disappeared! Where the hell have you been?” Before replying, Alaska looked around “Sorry,” she whispered still shocked “I didn’t fell well” Jinkx’s glance was painted with concern “Oh sweetheart, your cheeks are so red… Do you feel like you have fever?” asked, touching her forehead. The blonde shook her head “I think it’s just this place… it’s extremely hot in here! I’ll just hail a taxi and go home” “Are you sure?” asked her friend again, stroking softly her cheek. Jinkx knew how to be so sickly sweet. Not even Alaska’s mother has ever given her so many attentions – and Jinkx wasn’t about to give up “Ivy and I are going to a club… are you sure you don’t want to join us?” Alaska nodded. She needed her home, a hot shower and some cuddles from Hairspray.

Alaska spent the night with her face buried in her hands because of her gaffe. As she entered the taxi she put the black business card with address, email and site written in silver letters inside her wallet. Sooner or later she would have to write to Sharon, or come over her gallery, and she would have to say sorry. That situation also confirmed her biggest fear – she wasn’t ready to write about art. She didn’t even know artists’ faces. Next to her, the kitten slept peacefully. Alaska faced him and stroked gently his fur “My dear Hairspray, we’re going to die alone. Alone and at Vanguard”

The next morning, she arrived at her workplace an hour earlier. She put the most hideous pink tulle dress Bianca gave her and rushed towards the cafeteria. Not even her giant white-framed sunglasses could have covered her dark circles. As she went to the cafeteria and opened her wallet for paying her dark coffee, she noticed the black business card among the receipts. She was bored and she had a spare hour – she decided it was the perfect time to look at Sharon’s works. Alaska came back to her desk and turned her computer on. She ignored all the mails and the notifications from social media and typed Sharon’s website link. For every painting that scrolled down she let out a sigh. Unfortunately, Alaska still didn’t like the New Gothic art – though she started appreciating some of its features. “And what’s this?” Alaska didn’t even heard Trinity as she arrived. Why people loved talking behind her?! “it’s nothing, it’s just…” she tried to justify herself, but Trinity – as always – talked over her “Oh my God. One of those paintings could be the perfect gift for my goddaughter’s birthday. You know, she’s in that phase of every teenager’s life in which she’s obsessed with vampires and all those soft porn bullshits” Alaska imagined a little Trinity reading Fifty Shades of Grey, and did her best not to laugh. “Go to the gallery of this… Needles? – well, what a strange name, – and buy the most gothic paint you can find” stated Trinity, giving Alaska’s her wallet “There’s the checkbook inside. Any price will be fine” Alaska gasped “But-” “But what?” “That is not supposed to be my job” replied puffing her cheeks. “You are paid to be my assistant” said Trinity scornfully “If I want one of those paint, then you’re going to buy me one of those paint. Understood?” she threw her bag on Alaska’s desk “Put this in the wardrobe and don’t waste my time anymore” “Breathe, breathe, breathe” Alaska repeated to herself while sit in the back seat of a taxi, heading towards Sharon’s gallery. The taxi driver looked at the blonde dazed, but Alaska was too worried for guarantee her mental stability to a complete stranger. As she got out of the taxi she found herself in front of a gallery as so many others in Williamsburg, with one of the paintings in the window and nothing more showed. Before entering Alaska peeked into the inside – the furniture was black as the walls, the only point of lights were the light bulbs that enlightened every single piece of art and a computer screen that was hiding a girl with orange hair. Alaska breathe with relief. Maybe that was a shared gallery, and she was one of the other artists. Or maybe she was a salesgirl. But that girl wasn’t Sharon for sure. “Welcome!” said the orange head as soon as Alaska crossed the threshold “Oh, did you miss me already?” Alaska was mistaken – for sure “My boss saw me looking through your website and now she wants one of your work for her goddaughter’s birthday” explained rashly (which was unexpected even for herself speaking so fast), looking down at her MiuMiu’s pink satin sandals. She shivered at the thought that she was wearing a pink dress – what would have Sharon thought about her in that moment? Sharon looked up and down the blonde and then smiled “Sure. Please, have a round” she said as she brought her attention back to her computer. Alaska started looking at the paintings as she did the day before. She was glad Sharon didn’t ask her why she was looking at her website. For a moment that seemed last forever, the only sound that could be heard in the room was Alaska’s clicking of heels. Then, Sex Pistol’s Pretty Vacant echoed from the speakers. Definitely not a coincidence. “You look good in pink” started Sharon as she approached Alaska. The blonde smirked “And you in orange” Sharon run her hands through her hair “What can I say? Tonight when I came back home I couldn’t sleep, so I decided to dye my hair” she moved a hand in Alaska’s hip “I couldn’t sleep because I still was so excited” she explained, whispering in her ear. “About that” rushed Alaska, freeing herself from the other’s woman grip “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have said all those mean things about your art. Pretty rude of me” and before Sharon could add anything, she continued “I’ll take this” she said looking the price tag framed next to the paint she chose. Sharon nodded and went back to her computer “Have a sit, I have to write the bill” she pointed at the empty seat at the other side of her desk “Would you like something to drink?” Alaska shook her head “I should come back to Vanguard soon” she said. She sat still and rested her hand on her knees. She has never felt so nervous before, and her posture made it pretty clear.   “I hoped you had already quitted your job” breathed Sharon as she wrote the bill “I really meant what I said yesterday” “I’m halfway my goal” said automatically Alaska. She lost the count of how many times she said that line to herself. “Ok” acquiesced Sharon as she pulled the bill out of the pad “Then, that makes 1300 dollars” “But in the price tag…” started Alaska, but Sharon cut her off. “Yeah, the price tag says 1200 dollars. But since you don’t want to want to quit this hideous job, your boss owns you at least a proper lunch” she grabbed her coat, the bag and the keys “Come on. I’ll promise that where we’re going they don’t serve acai bowls” she joked. A grin appeared in Alaska’s face as she wrote the check. She quickly grabbed her bag and reached Sharon, who was keeping the door open for her “And I promise I won’t read your work today” she said playfully as Sharon closed her gallery. “Oh sweetheart” Sharon titled her chin up and brushed her thumb against the blonde lips “with this cute mouth of yours you can do everything you want”  

* Yeah sorry guys – I had to.

[tessatechaitea]

Darkstars #8

Worst homecoming theme ever.

This is the last issue of Darkstars I own. I'm a little bit sad that I own this one because this cover is poo on fire. I suspect that Past Me, much like current me, never looked at the covers of the comics as he bought them. He just saw the title and grabbed the magazine, adding it to the pile to take to the register. Usually when the cashier is ringing up my comics is the first time I'll really look at the covers and I'm not the type of person to grab the cashier's hand as they pick up a comic book to ring it up and yell, "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Not so fast! This comic book looks like runny diarrhea! I'm putting it back." No, I'm more the kind of person who notices how awful the comic book looks and simply lets out a nearly inaudible, haunting moan from the deepest part of that part of me my old friend Soy Rakelson would probably call a soul. I just call it the part of my brain that's going to get the skewer first when I finally decide none of this Goddamned pain is worth it anymore. Look at this fucking terrible cover. This 90s art is the kind of art that was (and often still is) hailed as dynamic by critics and fans who never seem to know the difference between "dynamic" and "posed." This doesn't look like a shot of these idiots having just finished a battle with a mechanical bull. It just looks like they stood in line with their prom photo tickets until they were waved over and told to look at the camera and smile before being hustled off the stage for the next couple's chance at a shitty memory. It's been a few days since I wrote a comic book review because I've been busy with my other project. I set up an Artificial Intelligence program to come up with new names for Xanth novels. These are some of my favorites: Centaurs Can't Masturbate The Boner Tree Titillating Minors Makes Money The Word Bosom Fifty Thousand Times in a Row No Matter How Many Naked Women are Described, Never Mention Their Genitals Whoops! That Scene Was Too Sexy In This One, A Dragon Fucks a Duck The Human Nickelpede Seriously Though. They Can't Fucking Masturbate! Seventy Unfunny Puns and Sixteen More That Don't Make Any Sense This Book is the Merriam-Webster Definition of Chauvinism Convicting Somebody of Rape is Embarrassing for Both Parties So Maybe Just Forget About It? Whoops! I Gave a Ten Year Old Female Centaur Huge Boobs. Can We Fix This in Post? If You've Read Piers Anthony's Other Books and Enjoyed Them, Maybe You'll Like This Book That He Put Way Less Effort Into Magic Doesn't Recognize Same-Sex Relationships But a Human Can Fuck a Goat and Produce a Mutant Offspring

Oh no! Are they planning on destabilizing a region so they can send in the military and take control of its oil?

Eight issues in and I haven't discussed the Darkstars uniform. Ignore the one on the cover; the artist completely fucked that one up. Just check out the one on the panel scanned above. What's with the piano keys theme? Will we eventually learn that they're powers are tied to music in the same way the Green Lantern power is tied to emotion? Did Grant Morrison ever use the Darkstars in his Multiversity lore as the movers and shakers of the harmony of the spheres which allowed for the different universes vibrating on different musical frequencies? But most importantly: can you play Chopsticks on a Darkstars' chest? Another great (?) aspect of the Darkstars uniform is the huge arrow pointing at the crotch. Whenever I wear super tight material that hugs my junk and exposes my intimacy, I love to call attention to it. "Hey hey hey! Ladies and Gents! Have you ever wondered exactly what my cock and balls look like? Check it out! Also this isn't vulgar because you're looking at cloth and not my skin even if the cloth hugs every wrinkle and vein. So please stop trying to have me arrested." It turns out "The American Way" isn't destabilization of countries who have resources that Americans want but don't want to pay for; "The American Way" is advertising jobs for needed positions. Man, that's so boring. And yet, it's the most interesting part of this comic book series so far!

In 1993, what does "some familiarity with computers" mean? That you've used Koala Pad and wasted tons of meat by killing bears on The Oregon Trail?

I know, I know! By 1993, people no longer even remembered Koala Pad and The Oregon Trail. It's just I don't really remember what was big in 1993. AOL Chat and Myst, maybe? You might also be wondering why Carla is dressed like a lunatic. Turns out, she's taking the Darkstars to a Country Western Bar. Yee haw! I'm pretty sure the first bar I ever went to was a Country Western Bar, The Saddle Rack, in San Jose, California. It was my 21st birthday and we were there because my friend Bob and I had made a pact when we were ten that when we turned 21, we were going to ride a mechanical bull. Bob turned twenty-one 23 days before me and he also remembered that stupid pact for eleven years. I also opened some presents that night and the woman I was dating gave me a Lobo t-shirt.

Geez, we get it, Darkstar. Your entire race was murdered. Don't make us feel guilty about having fun just because your people "used to have fun too."

What a dumb question, Carla! Obviously he knows what music is. He's got a fucking piano painted on his chest. While Darkstar hits the bar, Homeless Mo hires an office manager and K'lassh destroy's Darkstar's ship in orbit. Also, I should probably stop calling Mo Douglas "Homeless Mo." He lives at the office now!

Ugh! What's with all this political correctness and virtue signalling?! Why can't this old comic book be more like, um, older comic books and just stick to bank robberies and punching bad guys? I mean super villain bad guys bent on taking over the world and not white supremacist bad guys intent on taking over America! I mean, well, you know what I mean! Just have the good guy punch the obviously bad guy who doesn't need to espouse terrible social beliefs that I might also espouse! We know he's bad! Just make him generally bad or you're going to alienate your readership! I know racism is bad! But shoving it down my throat like this just makes me think, "Maybe it's not so bad?"

That previous caption was satirical and not actually my personal feelings. See, the thing about writing is that you can write whatever you can imagine and it doesn't make the thing you've written some secret insight into the truth of the writer. It's just shit that was typed in half a second without any thought at all behind it. Except, I mean, there was a lot of thought behind it. And a lot of that thought was less about Comics Gaters types currently spouting a lot of that kind of garbage and more about comic book fans writing letters to old comics that were saying the same kinds of things twenty and thirty years before it got a stupid "Let's append -gate to another word!" name. Also, it did not take half a second. Mostly because my brain is broken and it took me forever to pull the word "alienate" out of it even though it was the word I wanted to use and I knew the definition and could almost hear the word in my head but my brain was all, "Fuck you. Why should I give you this word you're seeking? You know how many hits of LSD you rammed through me, you careless asshole? Get fucked!" Darkstar takes an interest in the mechanical bull and is all, "Aw, that doesn't look so tough! Not like this space mechanical bull from this place in space I know!" Some drunk and tough cowjerk hears Darkstar's comments and simply assumes, like I assume he always assumes, that Darkstar is emasculating him with his words.

Beau is the Lobo of the Country Western Bar.

Darkstar decides the best way to calm the situation is to ride the mechanical bull. Beau watches him and yells, "He's the best I've ever seen!" It begins to look like Darkstar's plan is going to work until some other rube tells Beau, "That guy ain't human!" Beau goes full redneck and is all, "Yeah! He ain't! That means I have a duty to try and get him killed!" He then throws the switch on the mechanical bull to "Do Not Attempt This! Dangerous! Why Did We Even Add This Setting?!" Carla cold cocks Beau to help save Darkstar even though he doesn't need help. Wasn't she listening when he told his story about the space mechanical bull in space and how it was way harder than the Earth version? Darkstar breaks the mechanical bull with his crotch and will now have to pay for the damages. It's a good thing he's saved all that gold by firing Flint last issue. I don't know if it ever happened because this was the last issue of Darkstars I ever read but I hope Beau came back as a villain and called himself Low Beau.

Dammit. Now I want cake.

Carla writes a check to pay for the damages to the bar just as K'lassh arrives. Carla decides to keep her checkbook out. Darkstars #8 Rating: B+. I don't know if this issue was better than the rest because I knew it was the last issue I was going to read or because it objectively was better. At least I didn't have to suffer through Travis Charest's 90s art. This issue was done by guest penciller Patrick Zircher! Basically that meant it looked like 80s comics which I never mean to defend when I say 90s comics art was terrible. There was a lot of 80s comic art that was fucking awful as well! But it was standard awful! 90s art was unbearable because it was objectively terrible in so many ways (anatomy, asymmetry, overuse of specific tropes) but people proclaimed it the greatest art they had ever seen. I wouldn't have minded so much if everybody was all, "Well, this isn't great but it's different. Let's see what happens with it for awhile!" Anyway, in my world, Darkstar was murdered by K'lassh and there was never another issue.

[shipme]

Ships for @kreacts : Indigo

Request: Hello there guys! :3  

Your written ships are seriously so nice to read you guys write really well!  We’d like to request a written ship from Big Bang and BTS. A romantic one. Please and thank you! <3 

Indigo 

Well, I’m a really really lazy person aha. I’m older than Iris but I’m really short man, I’m like 5ft 3 and it annoys me but ya know. I’ve got black hair and light brown eyes. I’m also in university too. I really like to sleep, I basically stay in my bed as much as I can. I’m not exaggerating at all, I genuinely just hang out in my bed all the time. I like sleeping really late though, I like the night. I like to draw a lot. I also really like reading. I’m a little bit shy and somewhat quiet. I suppose I can be a little sassy too. I make a bunch of sassy remarks all the time when I shouldn’t. I’m really sarcastic my dudes. I’m pretty opened minded and I do tend to work hard on the things I like. I tend to swear a lot, whoops. I can be a little impatient sometimes.  I like dark humour, it amuses me. I also really love anime, and k dramas too. I like to do a lot of things at once I jump around from one thing to another. I get bored easily. 

Thanks again, guys :3 you can totally post it in two different posts anything that works for you all! Have a good day/night <3 

Hey pumpkins! Thanks for the compliment about our writings, we can return it because yours are incredible ^^ We split up the work so each one of us wrote one of your ships -just like a regular command, we hope it won’t bother you (but if you want us to redo it  just send your request again, we will understand!)

Indigo ships -Admin Whiger Before starting, I must admit I have quite the pressure because I absolutely love what you write (I may or may not have read different scenarios and have fallen in love with NCT -and Seventeen as well- thanks to you!) Now that this I said it, let’s proceed with the ships! I hope you will enjoy reading them.

Big Bang ship

As you are someone quite artsy and have a closed off personality, I see you getting along the most with T.O.P. The first person that you would have met would be Daesung. You two would have gotten close because you lived nearby and basically met him whenever you wanted to go grocery shopping and through casual discussions, you would have become dear friends. This sweet and caring guy would certainly want you to socialise (because « it really isn’t healthy to live in your bed, watching anime and k-dramas all day long, you need to meet new persons »). He would coax you and make you leave your bed during sunlight (and will brag about it for years because getting you out of your bed really is an accomplishment -he probably would have managed it by saying he would arrange for you to meet one of your favourite k-drama across after), forcing you to go out and meet persons. As you are quite introverted, he wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable and will start by bringing you to meet his fellow members, knowing that none of them would judge you. Still the atmosphere would be quite awkward , until Seungri « accidentally » stepped on something. The fact that the incident happened when he had absolutely no obstacles in front of him would make you smile in the slightest and you would probably make a remark like « Whoa, the greatest Seungri is capable of dancing like a god but can’t even walk straight, I should have filmed this for all the fans to know the sad truth about you ». And then, you would regret what you said because you really didn’t know him and it probably wasn’t a good way to talk to an idol… Your resentment would be interrupted when you saw JiYong and Taeyang smirking in the maknae’s direction, this one looking at you with bewildered eyes before letting an embarrassed smile appear. Your attitude would have caught T.O.P attention and he would be watching your every interaction with closeness, even thought you probably didn’t instantly remark it because you would have gotten your sketchbook out and would be trying to think of a way to ask if this was a problem to draw portraits of each members as you really don’t know what to say and are getting bored of just watching everyone, obscuring the way they interact with each other. You will probably just end up asking to no one in particular if you can use them as model and T.O.P would be the first one to react to your demand, immediately accepting even though he dislike being at the center of attention. You would move to his side and start analysing his features with attention before trying to draw him. His gaze would be fixated on the way your pencil moves and he would be quite impatient to see the final result. He will probably ask you a few questions about your technique as you are focusing and soon, you two would be chatting quietly because you share the same interest for art. The only problem would be that it would be distracting you from our drawing and you will probably make an error that would make you curse under your breath. You would only realise it because T.O.P would have stopped talking and would be looking in your way with his eyebrows raised in a way saying « seriously young lady ? » Your first reaction would be to want to crawl back in bed and you would start to blush but soon enough, T.O.P would break into a tiny smile after seeing your bashful expression -and also because he only wanted to make you react a bit but not actually blame yourself. It would take you both quite a lot of time before getting together as a couple because T.O.P would be having problems dealing with his feelings and you would be too shy to openly approach him (if you really don’t do a thing about it, Seungri would certainly organise you both a moment so you can confess and he would force you to leave only if you have declared your feelings -and no threats from you or his hung would stop him). Once you’re together, you will be a chill couple: T.O.P will certainly not put any pressure on you and will let you have your independence (and by this, I mean he would let you sleep late). He semms to be more of a night owl and you two would probably have discussions at night in front of a glass of wine (or sometimes talking about your day and you both being the worst because you will always be sarcastic af and would simply banter on who’ had the best-worse day), or just share sweet moments together reading books and talking about art in general, watching a drama or an anime on the couch as T.O.P would be writing lyrics. Your presence will always calm his fears as your personality would let him open-up to you and you would certainly give him all your support, never leaving his side even in front of bad situations. T.O.P would also be here for you whenever you need him, always willing to listen to you (and he would secretly adore the fact that you often swear without realising it, he find it quite cute and daring at the same time for a girl). You two would probably go easy on PDA -I mean, T.O.P has problem getting his sockets off in a sauna- but I can see you both holding each other hands and him giving you soft kisses on your hair -and the fact that you’re tinier than him would make him adore it because he has the impression he can protect you and when he wants to hold you in his arm, you fit totally right! If you like to do a lot of things at the same time, his style of life will be perfect for you because this guy is always switching between having to shoot films, rehearse for BIGBANG, write lyrics, rap his song, go on tours, visit museums, buy new paints, discover wines… You will never get bored. To conclude, even if your couple might not seem the most evident one at first, I think you two would complete each other and know when give their significant one some space. People will envy you for your capacity to understand each other without even having to talk anymore as you know each other so well.

BTS Ship

I think you would certainly find you significant other in Suga. I mean, you would probably be a great couple if one of you eventually get out of his bed! More seriously, you clearly have the same kind of personality so you would instantly click together and would become like best friends really quickly because you would be able to understand each other and respect your time: when Suga is composing, you would be drawing and vice-versa. He will probably ask for your advice with his music as he trusts you and hold you in a high place, your opinion could be decisive (if you say him his music lack something, he would try his best to discern the problem and correct it right away, not that it would happen that much). He would in exchange point out certain parts of your drawings when he remarks something seen wrong -but don't expect him to be over you and ridicule you: he will only do it if you ask and would not be the type to laugh at you for this. As you get bored quite easily, being with Suga would also help you to suppress this feeling as this guy never stops: when you wake up, there is a high probability he is already at work, learning new dances with BTS, shooting videos for the next comeback, writing lyrics, playing the piano, rapping... When he comes home -late at night, not that it bothers you as you basically live during the night, he would probably be quite tired but would still push himself to work a bit more as he really is a perfectionist. You will probably have to stop him, forcing him to stay because he first needs to eat,  take his shower and once he is out, you will simply plead for him to stay and watch one episode of anime or k-drama with you. Your attitude would let you manipulate him -well, he is aware of it so he would let you do it- and he would probably give in watching one episode. During this time, he would love having you close to him, probably hugging you from behind with you sitting on his laps or your head resting on his shoulder. There is a high level of chance he will fall asleep in the middle of the program you're watching because he really is tired and he can't keep his eyes open. Sometimes, you would let him rest on the couch until he wakes up and join you in the bedroom but it can also happen you simply go retrieve two blankets: one you pour over him and the second one around you as you prepare your pencil and draw the frame of your boyfriend sleeping -in the morning, it would happen he found you asleep with the pencil still in hand and he would shake his head at seeing your determination and stubbornness, a smile on his lips. As you two also are sarcastic persons, you would often drop bombs off and then, it would start a competition between the two of you: the first time it happened, BTS were kind of frightened but they eventually had gotten over it. Well "gotten over it" would not be the exact word, they were used to you and Suga having those competitions between the two of you but more often than not, you involved the persons around you in it one way or another and made alliances so instead of "only" having to be conformed to Suga comments, they now had to endure yours and Suga's ones, there was no escaping it. I totally see you two having private jokes and simply telling a word and make the other laugh as everyone watches you with bewilderment because "what had just happened ?" (Hobi would be whining because you really aren't fun when you keep things for yourself and if you have taken enough confidence, you will probably answer something like "oh, you don't want secrets? Well, I and Suga were actually thinking about what we did last night and..." You probably wouldn't need to go further -although J-Hope would probably be smiling because he is shipping you and Suga so bad- but you would stop anyway because if you say another word, Jungkook and Jimin were probably going to die from embarrassment). For the PDA, I think Young would be quite cuddly (I see him wanting to hug you 24/7, and the fact that you are short will be an advantage as he loves having you in his arm, he would always put his head above yours -and sometimes tease you with your height difference but as soon as he realises it’s a sensitive subject, he would stop and try his best to make you realise you’re just perfect the way you are). To conclude, you would be a great match because your personalities are very similar,  you would really have a different connexion with Suga since meeting him, you two probably wouldn't even have had awkward parts when meeting because everything seemed natural. You would understand each other on another level, you're like two pieces of the same puzzle and everyone would secretly be a little jealous of your relationship because normal persons aren't capable of keeping up with Yoongi and it had taken them quite the time to have him warm up to them so they would even be impressed by you -and a tad bit jealous of your abilities.

And that’s it, sorry for the long wait but we wanted to post both ships at the same time so we had to delay the post a little, I hope you’ll still enjoy reading, thanks for your patience

[funkymbtifiction]

Se Perspectives on Ne

SUBMITTED by truthaliar 

Se perspectives on Ne

I saw the recent posts on ENFPs and ESFPs, and thought I’d offer some Se-perspectives.

I’m an ISFP 7w8—though occasionally I entertain Se-dom.  I have a lot of xNFP friends from working in theatre, coffee shops, and wildlife hospitals. Somehow, we’re drawn to each other. I think it’s because I help my friends accomplish their ideas, and they in turn give me new ideas to try to accomplish. It’s kind of a symbiotic relationship.

I thought I’d give an example of two INFPs and two ENFPs, the way I see them, and the way they differ from each other within their personality type.

What does Se look like?

I work as a barista and a wildlife technician—more or less a field biologist with vet tech skills that works to rehabilitate and release injured wild animals—and want to go to veterinary school to study conservation medicine. I have a singular focus that is slightly dampened by a strong “I’m bored” streak. I’m halfway done with my Master’s now through sheer force of will. My entire university career has been a tug of war between Se—maybe I can just skip school for a week drive to the coast and go surfing instead of studying—and Ni/Te—let’s take all of the vet school pre-requisites this semester so I can try to get in without taking a gap year.

I didn’t think I had a mind for biology—though now, at 25, I’m a year shy of graduating with my M.S. in integrated wildlife biology. I’m utterly Fi-driven. In my spare time I play soccer, rock climb, surf in the summer, and play ice hockey in the winter. I still play guitar, but I don’t really like performing for an audience. Also, as a kid I’d occasionally pick fights or intervene in them. I was–and still am–more rough around the edges than I was ‘proper’. [Also, I’m not all that into fashion. T-shirt & jeans > fancy clothes.]

Additionally, High Se is not necessarily external objective precision. Applied, it is more like constant motion. I’m very restless all of the time. Routine is a foreign concept to me. When I want to do things, I do things. I move from place to place and figure it out as I go. I’m a time-management nightmare. I’m so disorganized with things. But when I commit to something, I’m all in. I sometimes spontaneously make really important life altering decisions. And it’s the spontaneity or opportunism of the choices that I’ve made that I use to define Se. I don’t think twice. Life happens. You have to move with it.

How does that compare to NFPs?

My INFP cousin is obsessed with ice hockey. It could even look Ni. He literally chose his school based on whether or not he’d be able to play hockey his freshman year. But he doesn’t want to be a professional hockey player. No, he wants to be a film maker—or a masseuse. But he’s studying engineering design. And he certainly doesn’t use Se. He’s more content to sleep all day and stay up all night on his phone. He doesn’t engage in his environment unless other people encourage him to.

His Ne-Si constantly interact; he’s often entirely stuck in his head with possibly thousands of ideas – but he needs somebody to push him to actually do something. He’s not a healthy INFP, and often needs guidance in decision making to an extreme degree (consulting the youngest [ESTP] and I for advice on what to wear to family dinners; what to do with his life) and occasionally seems discouraged that both the youngest and myself appear to have direction—while he still falters.

In contrast…

My INFP friend, who currently works in urban farming, also wavers. She’s definitely the healthiest INFP I know—and possibly the most stereotypical. After she finished undergrad, she went into environmental education. And then she went into being a barista. And then she tried fisheries science. She really wants to do biology, but her Fi-Si seem to be interacting in a way that makes her pause before jumping into graduate school. Like me, she’s afraid of being stuck in an office all day—but is afraid that somehow, specialization in a field will backfire and entrap her. There are a lot of possibilities for her to explore and she has told me she wants to try and explore all of them before committing to a Master’s program. Like me, she seems to be on the social cusp of introversion and extroversion; but she regards herself as more chatty, and me as more skeptical and hesitant—and almost distrusting—with strangers. Despite her outward warmth I don’t believe she uses Fe; she’s particularly focused on herself and interests—she just can’t decide on which one to pursue.

ENFPs

I tell them apart from the INFPs by their tertiary-Te. Damn. The collective strength of their tertiary-Te is also why I back away from categorizing myself as an ESFP. Whatever they have – I don’t have it.

The actress eventually wants to move to NYC to pursue her dreams, but first is working on paying off her student loans and getting herself established. She loves word play, and is probably hands down the most talkative person I know. If you don’t interrupt her, she will just keep talking. Sometimes about herself. Sometimes about the similarities between Monty Python, something from four years ago, and Hamilton. And she’ll keep going. Textbook.

In contrast…

My friend the vet tech is not really like this. We worked together most recently and underwent similar scrutiny at our job. I loved what I did, but Fi came first for me. And when my job security started to feel threatened—I spontaneously resigned. [I’m still a wildlife tech, just not there.] My friend didn’t leave that job until she was removed from it. I think through her dom-Ne—she was very perceptive of ways that things could still work out, as well as other opportunities. She fought to keep it. It didn’t work.

She is onto other things now, but again, she doesn’t have Ni. She’s not exactly actively pursuing one way to change this. She’s interested in macabre sort of arts, and is interested in the external world—to a degree. She cannot imagine going back to school because it’s not the kind of learning she likes. Our interests overlap again in psychedelic culture and music.

Lastly To add to the picture – I find this stuff interesting, but writing this was boring. It took me hours. I took a break in between to go get coffee; then I learned my puppy had jumped out a window and put a hole in the screen to chase after me and had to collect him from my neighbors house. Day in the life.

I think Ne and Se can really complement each other. I love that my closest friends have these visions; we build each other up. Their Si is different than Se and they often help me consider important realities that I may not have though of before–something I think is not often said enough about Ne-users. Many of the people I’ve mentioned think I’m a bit reckless and spontaneous, and certainly opportunistic – but they confide in me and we get along great. So if you’re trying to tell the difference:

- High-Ne wanders, and may be restricted by lower-Si in committing to a certain job, career path, or approach - Se also wanders – but less with words and more in action. When it finds what it likes, it doesn’t really quit. - Tert-Si users will be more atuned to certain details than Se-dom and aux users - Both Se and Ne can be interested in different artsy subjects and excel at them – and both can get bored easily - Se may present itself as more skeptical than Ne in certain situations because it is 'reading’ - Don’t bother using level of socialness or party attendance records to define Ne or Se… I find parties boring. Some of my high-Ne friends love them.