#officer dudes probably had a raging crush on him too

[suckinitup]

🐜 <- his name is rolan deep. everyone want him

[diabunnies]

INCOMING NEW MAIL!

"BLLK DRIVING HEADCANONS" from DIA!

CONTENT AHEAD IS...

sfw! no implied romance between characters however ur free to take it however u read it!

i lub driving n ive been thinking abt this 4 a liddol bit 2 long now so here goes! a lot of these hcs are inspired by ppl ive been in a car with!

drive safely y'all ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭ pls do not be like these ppl (heavy on shidou!!!)

SHIDOU RYUSEI

thinks he's an F1 driver on the streets... i don't mean the professional F1 drivers btw! i mean the "F1" drivers everyone pretends to be in the arcade car simulators. also broke his car speakers from how loud his music is

probably has attempted to do a wheelie with the car more than once before... has had numerous points docked off his license for the stupidest reasons (ie going round a roundabout [the full 360] over and over and over again)

always forgets to turn his lights on at night and attempts to fight the officer that pulls him over. idk how he got his license (he didnt. it's fake but he doesn't know u know it's fake).

ITOSHI SAE

is absolutely silent. sorry if u were expecting more from him but when he's in the car he's iust but i like to think that its a comfortable kind of silence! sometimes he makes small talk but he rlly just prefers calmness be driving is one of the rare opportunities where he gets a bit of a break from his high action lifestyle :(

sae gives me the impression of someone that listens to podcasts and instrumental music over other genres ?? doesn't rlly mind (read: care) if u handle music but don't expect him to breakout into a song

drives one handed bc he is the only mf here that drives stick and for this reason he secretly thinks he's better than everyone for it

BAROU SHOUEI

drives like an aggressive senile person ?? whenever ur in the car w him u'd think he got his license during the industrial revolution bc he goes off the most outdated rules in the handbook

like this dude does not believe in using indicators on the roundabout ("bc the cars should already know where i'm going based on the direction or my wheel!").

u always apologise to the car u nearly crashed into be he cuts ppl off ("i should've been given right of way!!") at intersections

ITOSHI RIN

listens to edgy ahh fuckin music icl! also doesn't talk most of the time but what sets him apart from sae is that the silence is very awkward... any attempt at making conversation by u is met with nothing but soul crushing silence

sometimes his intrusive thoughts win n lets his competitive nature get ahead of him at traffic lights be he will race the car next to him for fun ಠ_ಠ

i do like to think that he loves driving the most out of everyone here and bc he drives obsessively, he knows all kinds of routes to all kinds of places (walking gps king so real)

CHIGIRI HYOMA

is probably the most normal driver. he's pretty confident in his skills (rightfully so) but ofc he doesn't pass up any opportunity to let u know that he passed his test w flying colours :/ "did you know that i pa-" every fucking time without fail ( •_•)

is the best at parking :O in fact he's so good at it that he will park in what u think is an impossible spot all be he doesn't want to walk too far

his car always smells new be he LOVES those "new car" scented air fresheners! also his car is always cold bc he refuses to let the humidity ruin his hair

NAGI SEISHIRO

has rlly rlly bad road rage BUT gets mad at u if u also express road rage ?? he tells u to calm down ?? mf ik he aint talking T⌓T

tbh i think he only has short temper be he doesn't necessarily enjoy driving (will only do it if he absolutely has to) and just wants to get home asap!

definitely waits until the very last minute to fill up his car bc of how often (.) he forgets ended up stranded in the middle of nowhere once be of this exact reason. but at least u can always count on him for having a battery pack!

GAGAMARU GIN

drives below the speed limit... would (and has) swerve to the wrong side of the highway to avoid hitting a bird be he doesn't trust that it'd fly away in time (the bird flew away along with his soul bc he was a second away from colliding with a truck)

poor thing always gets honked at by cars behind him be he gives way to EVERYONE (even if he has the right of way) and traffic always piles up.

his car always smells like Those jellybelly jelly beans be he loves sweet-smelling things! im not joking every time u enter his car ur nose is flooded by candy flavoured air ٩(◕‿◕｡)۶

BACHIRA MEGURU

gets distracted rlly easily by any piece of stimuli. oh there's a windmill? nice! u bet his eyes are already following it. roadkill on the side of the road? would point it out and proceed to try and look at it for the next kilometre. probably mourns the thing for the rest of the trip tbh :(

points out livestock grazing on the side of the road! every! time! instigates eye spy every time but chooses the most obscure things and gets surprised whenever u give up

will not hesitate to pick up whenever his mum is calling; doesn't matter if it's super busy on the road or if he's in a crash bc he Will make the time for her

ISAGI YOICHI

is the only mf prepared with everything. he has a mini cooler in the boot stocked with juice and water, his glove box is filled with masks and wet wipes, has a blanket in the back, a 50pc first aid kit in the centre console, snacks in the boot, and insurance papers stashed somewhere.

his car is spotless bc he details and deep cleans it (both interior and exterior) every week bc he is very self-conscious abt his car (n his driving) be he wants his passenger(s) to always be comfy :((

will play (and let u play) any kinda music but during significant soccer matches he will always play a live audio coverage of the match! so im v sorry if u wanted to listen to the new TWICE album but germany v spain is on so ur gonna have 2 wait ;´༎ຶਊ ༎ຶ`;

MIKAGE REO

in the rare occasions that he drives himself and not by a personal driver, he talks a lot. like a whole fuckin lot! but no one can complain be its not like he's dominating the entire conversation!

that kind of driver where the trip otw to a place is better than the actual destination! dygwim??? sometimes u both ditch the og plan for a random burger joint on the side of the highway

if he picks u up he's always early be sometimes he wants to drop by a spot (oooh guys he knows a spot ᵔ.ᵔ) he wants to show u! ps his car has heated seats and massage options മ◡മ

MICHAEL KAISER

ness has to be in the car with him for ur sake... bc if he's there at least u have someone that actually talks about things and includes u in stuff... unlike kaiser who only talks abt himself LMFAOOO

has pictures of him littered everywhere in the car... u open the sunshade? there's a polaroid of him that falls out :/ this mf the type to sign his car in hopes of making mad bank off reselling it some day as a collector's item of "the great king, kaiser!"

the type of guy to wink at every road camera in case he gets caught for committing a traffic violation ("u can never let them catch u lacking!" kaiser dawg u goin 40 over the limit!)

OLIVER AIKU

has a "honk if ur single" sticker plastered on his back window but always forgets so he gets annoyed whenever ppl honk at him (dawg makes his own problems LMFAOO)

pulls up to red lights next to a conventionally attractive person to roll down his window and wink at them @_@ the police station has definitely received multiple calls from ppl due to his... violating behaviours...

his car smells like his deodorant bc he douses himself in it before he gets out (sorry if ur asthmatic)

[problematicpervertpod]

recs on recs on recs

Yaoi/Manga I’m reading/have read. Please support the artists on official websites. If you have recs or want to chat about any of these get in my messages right the fuck now my dudes. Also spoilers, also this probably doesn’t make sense to anyone but me, also I think I’m funny sorry in advance.

Dangerous Convenience Store

Tags: Ongoing, self aware lead for the most part, gangs, smut, love triangle, possessive, not rapey, seme is like the fucking hulk compared to uke, college, age gap, good art, muscular bodies, seme is adorable/romantic in sp chapters, sexual awakening, meeting the gang (in two ways!), FAINTS OF CUTENESS/HOTNESS, the memes after every chapter got me gagged, HAHE hahahahahahahahahaha, OMG DO I GET SOME CNC?! (update: short lived), we stan a vocal man (Ahjussi), thigh fucking, my mans be like my thighs hurt fuck my ass instead DECEASED, ass smacking, these memes are so good god damnit, rimming

8/10, I live for Ahjussi (Am I spelling this wrong..)

The New Employee 

-love love love

Tags: ongoing, we stan supportive boyfriends, healthy relationship, boss/employee, smut, office setting, good art, 10/10 will re-read, muscular bodies

Love Shuttle

Tags: completed, ABO, enemies to lovers, possessive, coworkers, fake relationship, strong omega, the art sucks but I like the story, art gets better after the 1st season, alphas eyes change colors when happy/anxious, muscular bodies, 7/10, update 10/10 art is meh but fml this storyline is basic af in the best way and it’s the fluff/smut I need, when you’re caught by the folks *cringe*

Hold Me Tight

Tags: ongoing, boss/employee, bodyguard, gio can’t feel heat until felix comes along, uke is strong af, horny bastards, smut, possessive, tragic childhood, moving in together right away, rich seme, felix in a bunny costume though *heart eyes*, dialogue is great, rape in a technical sense but the vibe is written like both characters are all good after? Ex. hospital scene…dub con, ART IS GREAT, hand holding during sex, 10/10 will re-read, muscular bodies

Yours to Claim 

Tags: ongoing, love triangle, Dom/sub dynamics, smut, main is big switch energy, reincarnation, jealousy, manipulative, possessive, self aware lead for the most part, toxic af, GREAT ART, college, rich semes, 10/10 will re-read and not even finished, SONOFABITCH that cliff hanger!! Season 3 come thruuuu (I have to wait until November? *cries* BUT MAH LOVE TRIANGLE!!, I want a THROUPLE GOD DAMN IT

The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation

Tags: obsessed with this story, will the incense burner scenes make it?? No tags because I'll never forget this one haha wangxian 5ever, send me all fanfics/fan art you have about this story, love Dark Wangji, Jadecest, ABO/omegaverse, Bottom Wangji/Top Wei Ying, and honestly anything regarding this fandom

Bj Alex

Tags: completed, great art, 11/10 will re-read, cam boy, fanboy, seme is an asshole, uke is so sexy, jealously, rich seme, enemies to lovers kind of?, CHANWOO IS MY BOY FOR LIFE, Chanwoo MD supremacy, BDSM (like really really), fuck I love Chanwoo, college students, rich seme, emotional rollercoaster, uke soft body, mean seme, college life, that one nosy bitch ass guy trying to expose my boys needs to fuck right off, seme split/fake personality, dub con 

Anti PT

Tags: ongoing, 11/10 re-readable, porn with feelings, love triangle, jealousy, attempted non-con, personal training wink wink, main love interest is actually the best, second male lead is a god damn creep, first time, smut, great art, sex addict/constantly horny uke, I WANT A HWI, 

Related: https://www.anime-planet.com/manga/anti-pt/recommendations 

Payback

Tags: ongoing, both are psychopaths tbh, revenge, gangs, uke sells himself to seme, violent seme, entertainment industry, brunette supremacy, what this motherfucker gonna do? hehe , great art, muscular bodies, dead dove do not eat, my mans must be GOOD looking/animal magnetism cause everyone losing their fucking minds, okay this is a comedy I’m dying, he tried to scare him with wanting to be a top but my psycho said REVERSEUNO BITCH I’M A VERSE (wait jk apparently *sigh*), anonymous masked sex (sad n’ kinky)

My Suha

Tags: ongoing, wow this gets dark, possessive af like holy shit, terrible people all around uke, rape, boss/employee, office politics/family politics, smut, characters that are punchable, dead dove do not eat, *velociraptor noises*, avoided this for a while but I’m back because nothing can be more emotionally devastating than Banana Fish, TIE HIM UP, FUCK HIS FACE ALKSJD:ASKD, FUCK SUHA UR SO HOT that dirty talk though YAS, glad I picked this back up lmao, GOD DAMN IT just when the package arrived then this red head fucker *screams*

Shame Application aka Dirty Vibration

Tags: completed, friends to lovers, model seme, cute af uke, love triangle, entertainment industry, smut, kink, all kinds of sex everywhere, realized feelings, mutual pining, jealousy, rich seme, blonde seme, big brother 1984 always watching, 10/10 would re-read, porn with plot, they were roommates!, ~straight~ seme, first times, great art, remembering some cringe but considering the story it’s par for the course

Will You Subscribe

Tags: ongoing, season 1 completed, enemies to lovers, cam boy, office politics, boss/employee, hiding a secret, public sex, stalkers/creepy men, emotionally stunted characters, mutual pining, idiots in lust, lingerie company, slut shaming, jealousy/possessiveness, season 2 bebeh, HOLDING HANDS *velociraptor noises*, LMAO okay my mans is not THAT old how tf does he not know netflix and chill, BUNNY COSTUME (quickly becoming my new fav trope in manga, A+ gang), oh we stan a good boy, wtf is wrong with wanting to do cam work, ‘I wish my marks could become permanent’ *omegaverse wink*, *works for lingerie company* *doesn’t understand where bf gets sexy costumes* like wut kind of fuckery…, cross dressing ftw, roleplay, classic BL miscommunication trope

Hyperventilation

Tags: completed, high school crush, unrequited love, mutual pining, smut, quickie (short story), class reunion, apparently furry with the extra chapter turning my man into a bunny but c'est la vie! https://myreadingmanga.info/korean-bl-animation-hyperventilation-engsub/ this is the animation of the same story, different endings but same in tone (this site is spammy AF but the English subs are so hard to find for this) 8/10 

Unmei no tsugai ga omae da nante

Tags: only one bed, ABO, office setting. Coworkers, enemies to lovers, competitive, equality in the omegaverse, dubcon, real dicks and not lightsabers, fated pair, art is cute af 8/10

K’s Secret

Tags: buckle up buttercup, dead dove do not eat, angst, pining, somnophilia, dub con, non con, boss/employee, manipulative, stalking, forced relationship, tragic childhood background, weird art but gets better,  uke: don’t threaten me with a good time but seriously stop threatening me, possessive & obsessive, seme is like the fucking hulk compared to uke, wow were going full psycho stalker hm?, dating a narcissist is all fun and (mind)games, con non con… ? honestly who tf knows, domestic!, OW MY HEART, the t/n WAP note sent me, ch 51 translated by gen z, do special ep= furry? Wait there’s a maid costume, bunny costume, directors friends keeping it real, rough translations 8/10

Enthusiasm

Tags: ongoing, dead dove do not eat, uke buys seme, masc boys, muscular bodies, fight club, master/slave, rich uke, revenge, real dicks not lightsabers, rough sex, cuckholding, daddy issues, suicide, wow the end of ch 5 punched a hole in my heart, penile implant life,  rough translations makes the storyline wonky, nvm back to lightsabers *star wars noises*, HAD ME FEELING SOME TYPE OF WAY I CAN NOT, shibari, possessive, wait this is cute *velociraptor noises*, angst, no kithes for you “bestie”, OBSESSED, honestly choke him pupper, STAY THE NIGHT ALKSDJA:SLDKJAS:LKDJA:SLDKj, problematic but I’m riding for these two, 

Ichimai Goshi Fetish

Tags: completed, short, fetishes DO start in childhood don’t they *ruminates*, author: describes ML as a beautiful 2D character meanwhile: ML IS 2D character, fellas is it gay to kiss the homies?, “real dudes don’t interest me” is a MOOD, comedy, jealousy, college setting, dialogue is A+, not lightsabers but not dicks either, first time, when you’re fucked so good you think you’ve died, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4uEq5Nx6ko, hero/villain roleplay. Fluff n smut 10/10

My Purrfect Boss

Tags: completed, tooth rotting fluff because blondie is so FUCKING cute little sensitive soul, golden retriever boyfriend, pure comedy, DECEASED, MY MAN JUST DID THE SLOW BLINK, office setting, boss/employee, ~wasted~ (red dead redemption meme),  FFS SO CUTE, he put a ring on it right away beyonce would be proud af, he protecc he attack but most importantly he hit it from the back, jealousy, honeymoon phase of dating, the ex is a snake (update: oh wow literally), I’m picking up abuse/PTSD vibes based on how Kang reacts to his ex :(, classic BL miscommunication plot, immediately no meme audio (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6XWSGfYnps) ,  I WILL STRAIGHT UP MURDER CHA WTF!!!!!!, gang rape, spiked with drugs that force heat, me rn:*screaming/rage*, psychotic ex/abuser, HE PROTECCC, actual relief after that scene jesus fuck, okay YES kings I see you, okay this is giving me cuteness aggression, hi yes I’d like to adopt a cat and a dog please 9/10

Following Namsoo to the Bathhouse

Tags: completed, same author as, “My Purrfect Boss”, A+ comedy once again, JUNIOR, gay awakening, “fap myself to death” DEAD, facial expressions are ridic, my minds telling me no but my body, my bodyyyy’s telling me yaaaaa, ya boy is literally losing his mind over this, actual lightsabers lmao, FLUFF, permasmile, 6969, THINKS THEY’RE GOING TO EAT RAMEN, dense gay, own your skin wtf okay hannibal calm down, everyone is officially cray,  ah I also am barfy when drunk, denial really is something hm, classic BL miscommunication plot, when people pleasing too far, happy ending 🥺🥰, side story: our crazy gets his very own crazy (ashton Kutcher from spread vibes), public sex, sex sparkle 9/10

Alien in my Closet

Tags: ongoing (maybe completed but def ongoing on the site I use), not rapey at all?? You’d think it’s impossible in this medium ffs, anti pt vibes, cute art, fluff ‘n smut, red head!!, they were roomates!, sex toys, bsdm, D/s (brat)dynamic or maybe owner/pet, bondage, *tiffany hadish voice* this is noiceeee, con humiliation/degradtion, SANTA CLAUS, edging, marking, one lotus please (he’s clearly read the 4 agreements and karma sutra), con non con, exhibitionism, the wrist thing stays on people, Katoptronophilia,  roleplay, is it stalking when you bring your friends?, lotus: welcome home cheater, the chin on the head thing gives me cuteness aggression, the twins are my favs, when ur crush vanilla af 😭, haesung: experiment on me daddy, no dick until halfway through/fingering supremacy, bedroom sessions has me gagged, voyeurism, wait they haven’t kissed this whole time I forgot (audio: https://www.tiktok.com/@ryley/video/6976701880277748997?lang=en), sunbae is sus, YES FINALLY A FUCKING SWITCH COUPLE AKJSDHALKSJDHASKLJDHALS KJDALKSJD (update: sort of), there’s a missed opportunity for an anal probe joke, damn it okay maybe sunbae is chill, 3 musketeers, my heart*implodes*, *velociraptor noises*, 12/10 would re-read such fluff my heart 

On Doorstep

Tags: completed, age gap, reese has ptsd, jimmy going from 0 to 100, jimmy really got down on his knees at work, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) deepest part you say, real dicks, ride him like a rodeo, quickie/short story, porn with plot

Gorani Jeon

Tags: ongoing, omegaverse, no alpha though, animal hybrid, art is beautiful like it's drawn on paper not a screen, 40 inch weave yours came in a pack, historical (non-modern), lord send me a sexy man pls, the memes after each chapter are golden, taking the phrase licking wounds literally, is that an eggplant or are you just happy to see me hehe, ahhh so inhibitors do exist here, vertical 69, here lays Bau fucked to death by Ran, WHY HE TOUCHING MY MAN, these chickens are dope, stomp on his dick, that’s what I call a happy meal, fucked right out the front door I’M DEAD, mpreg, i need a tiger+mountain god spin off (whoops dad/son my bad), slice of life, cute fluff 8/10

Room to room

Tags: completed, college setting, A+ dialogue, absurd size difference, unrequited love,  sexsomina, dubcon, angst, death by a thousand cuts emotionally, insecurity, body envy, pining, friends to lovers, they were roommates!, homophobia, sexual assault, PTSD, gays in denial, the tattoo 🥺 ow my heart, truly this is 90% smut, “going from unrequited love to fwbs is shittier than I expected”, dowan *bad blood by t swift* when he sees garam, ch 22garam reminds me of my ex and that’s not a compliment, I’m not gay but my boyfriend is vibes, triflers need not apply, spanking, 😭😭😭😭😭 my heart hurts, is anyone getting a bit of a puppy play vibe? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vni9ZWmDXis, handcuffs, lots of head we stan, dowan’s gotta a touch of a foot thing or maybe body worship thing, asdlfgkjs ;dlkfgjsd;flkgj;sdflkgj;sdlfgjs;d/gkdf SO CUTEEEEEEEEEEE, roleplay. They broke the bed no use of crying over spilled milk ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), side stories delivering man in uniform and sex toys AND puppy, asdlkjaslfkasdjfl;askdfjasdf the shirt thing is so hot, watersports, I take it back this is 98% smut 9/10

Mistake Lover

Tags: completed, when ur bff is back on their BS, love triangle, coworkers, i swear all these ukes look the same to me at this point (which is very cute), GE!!!! (wangxian flashbacks), wait no smut?.... Paused

Yagi to ookami no hatsujou jijou

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, literally on my reading list because a comment said “nice cock 10/10”hahahaha, animal hybrids, scifi/aliens, me during chapter one: am I a furry? No. Am I? Relevant audio https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noJNIqvDfoo, hotties when human GOD DAMN, bi king, okay I stan this girl changing gears take your opportunities honey!, does blondie have a tinder or how is this happening? (update: called it), feminization, dubcon/noncon, marking, heats, idk about 10/10 cock but not lightsabers, translation is ruff (get it?), a yankee hahaha, literal wound licking, googles chimera, *claps* yes king selfish call his ass out, tail holding caaaayoooot, not that isn’t usually copious amounts of cum but really this is a lot 8/10

Make Me Bark

Tags: completed, $250 a month rent?? *cries in Californian*, god damn it these grey haired 2D men are really hot fml, “next months rent is a looming concern but I hope it’ll get better” followed by apartment on fire is how I feel about reality, rare characters that smile way more than they frown, sex toys, kink, puppy play, owner/pet dynamic, sugar daddy/baby, college setting, harness, muzzle, leash, tail plug, shirt thing!!, soaked briefs, playing barbie IRL, omg meet cute at the adult store, intercrural sex, possessive/jealousy, ah fuck yes I saw this panel on IG but it didn’t have the source but now hehe, whipping, choking, spanking, *bookmarks*, simp city, childhood friends, side couple cute af, yeonsoo: sorry I’m an anti romantic, size queen, mens lingerie, domestic, mutual pining,  these bestie pairings are *chefs kiss*, skinny but muscular bodies/no ridiculous size differences, “does he have a big dick?” “probably” “well tell him to come” GAGGED AJKSDHALSKDJHA this dialogue pure comedy, exhibitionism, human auction, maid costume, men in heels, topping in a dress, girl at the bus stop HAHAHA, ffs this is so cute, side stories: it’s a small world afterall, dynamic role reversal, pink haired boy is guru, SCREAMING AKDJA:SLDKJA:LKDJA:LSDKJLAKDJA:LDJAL:SKDJASLKDJA:SLKDJLAKSDJLASDJ:LASJD:ALSKDJASL:DJ:ASLJDPUTARINGONIT!!!! 11/10 

Gurume no fukurami

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, food fetish, feeding fetish, age gap, throuple-eqsue? There’s 3 people involved, paused ch 1 pg 30

Under the Green Light

Tags: ongoing, thank you IG for rec’ing this, brunette supremacy, neurodivergent?, lmao @hag, this statue is everything I wonder if it’s based on a real piece?, we went from talking art to being pinned to the ground REAL quick, translations rough but not as rough as my mans here, draw me like one of your french girls vibe, sass master, these dicks are ridiculously huge which is saying something for this genre, i love a verse/switch, “first time he’s asked someone to stop so his self-esteem is hurt” HAHAHAHA, stealing bae’s shirt, facials galore, car sex/public sex, jin not into praise kink clearly, sort of slut shaming jealousy, marking

Walk on Water

Tags: completed, for being about porn it’s not that smutty (i take it back), “don’t even think about running away” got me like https://giphy.com/gifs/VABbCpX94WCfS, actual dicks (lightsabers later must be the cleaners not the OG), muscular bodies, blonde seme, brunette uke, k mcqueen is everything, honestly haven’t loved a couple this much since chanwoo x MD and I LOVE THEM, jealousy, orgasm denial, the angles/frames of the art in this are insane (11/10), emotional intimacy CUTENESS HASIHDLASKDHJLAKSJDH, i wanna lick lick lick you from your head to your toes, dirty talk A+, bestie you turned out to be Judas you judgy fuck how dare you touch my man, Ryan is 50 shades of fucked up bb needs therapy, Chang and yeowoons sexual tension is *chefs kiss*, I ship it/all my ships sailing, woof non con but expected tbh, YEAH BABY YEAH *Austin powers voice*, fml I don’t want this story to end, meeting the Hets ™ would make me nervous too, spiderman kith, mirror sex sjkadfhasldjkfh, 34+35, JOI but with a partner? Not D/s, promises are made to broken hehe, that feeling when you understand the title, omg the fan art is so cool!! 15/10 would re-read seriously I can’t explain how well the artist used angles/how she portrayed the scenes was fucking MASTERFUL

Woof Wolf

Tags: that's my best friend (saweetie), red heads, werewolf au, college setting, students, shoot a shot in your mouth while I'm riding, facials, marking

Sexual Awakening of an Ex Delinquent 

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, sexual coercion/non con/dub con, tiddies, bondage, nipple play, edging/orgasm denial, candy in ass wow, food kink, kink in general, rich seme working class uke, lightsabers,  big dick Jesus fuck, exhibitionism, public sex, men's lingerie, Blondie is a sweet baby angel, self hatred/homophobia, sexual narrating that has me like oof 😣 that's not how this works but okay, the sweet spots thing is a great line, man is a slave to the sweets, lmao at the meme at the end of ch 9 fucking facts, kidnapping plot, rapey guys all around this story, tattoo/back story reveal has me like *nods head yes*, my throats broken has me gagged, crazy amount of sfx noises that distract from the art (I really appreciate cleaners I realize), first times, rushed ending feels,  would rate 6/10 not terrible but probably won't read again.  

With Your Tail Yes

Tags: ongoing, IG rec, quickie/short story, on man brunette looks EXACTLY like a different character by another artist like for real duplicate, home boy pulled Elle Wood’s Bend n Snap and we are HERE FOR IT, lingerie/cross dressing, okay compilation of short stories, great artwork but wtf these are far too short (maybe uploaded wrong..?), *immediately makes deal with the devil because yum*, ah okay previews THEN stories, human animal hybrid situation, lightsabers, fucking imagine your crush delivery the sex toy you ordered online HAHA *dies*, buys toys because men ain’t shit is a VIBE, you know he’s always wearing matching sets because he’s 100% that bitch, dub con/non con, knotting (unexpected), exhibitionism, public sex, good ol’ fashion blackmail to get your lover to stay with you trope, sexual assault/attempted rape, victim blaming, shibari, leashes, D/brat dynamic sort of, copious amounts of cum, lube? What lube?, marathon sex, first time, 75 hours?? Immediately no meme, 7/10 mostly for art/concepts but not execution

Heat and Run

Tags: ongoing, IG rec, omegaverse, friends to enemies to lovers, multiple couples as main to sides then sides to mains, my heart dropped because I thought the first sex scene was incest but then realized I’m mixing up all the characters derp, dense gays, this is america (the shooting comment WOOF reality feels bad man), blondes have more fun, real dicks, dubcon/CNC dealers choice, mutual pining, idiots in love, big alpha energy BDE, there are moments I feel Hayoung on a spiritual level and not sure that’s a compliment hahaha, orgasm denial/edging, istg if he bonded without Hayoung permission *jenna marbles BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII YOU BETTAH NOT*, also I was hoping the idol was him but realizing it’s probs his sis, *deep sigh*, BDIRL, wow racism, oh no oh no no no no no meme audio, listen everyone needs to get into therapy to break that generational trauma is all I’m saying (not excusing abuse at all, trauma isn’t a free pass), NO ONE WANTS TO PLAY A GAME WITHOUT KNOWING THE RULES :ALKSDHJALKSDJA:SLKDJTRUE, matthew singing bo burnham: I’m problematic *background singers ‘he’s a problem!’*, i ship it yolo, JAEHO STAN (no means no!), mpreg, god damn it I am so worried about him getting roofie and the party scene hasn’t even started ABO WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TOO ME, OH THANK JAEHO, dayummmm that clapback was real fuck him UP, me clapping: MARK HIM MARK HIM, GOD DAMN IT WITH THESE ONGOING FUCKING CLIFF HANGERS FML, marked via knotting? Okay that’s new, but also like normal marking I think, fucking til bottom pees trope

Heaven Officials Blessing

Animated series season 1 complete. Live action currently filming (same director as Untamed too UGH SO HAPPY)

Tags: ongoing, same author as my fav ever MDZS, just finished season 1 animated on netflix and can no longer avoid this because I LOVE THEM, all the memes on IG make sense now, Prince voice: Dearly Beloved (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXJhDltzYVQ) we are gathered here today to dive deeper into a fandom I will never escape, ART IS AMAZING (https://tenor.com/view/incredible-talented-lady-brilliant-gaga-gif-14857187), group chats are always chaotic tbh, wait a minute meme audio: bride = bottom? How tf did I not get that the first time round *sigh* always hoping for a verse couple, the asst. Boys I ship hard, the sass, fuck this is going to just be pure angst isn’t it *straps in, has fluffy manga queued*, even if no smut 11/10 gege porn, not subtle, god FUCK this ART IS SO FUCKING GOOD THE TALENT skjas;ldkfja;, 🥺, traumatic cliff moment *mdzs flashbacks*, HC smirk is my new favorite thing, no fucking but lots of touching, size difference, horror, gore, wuxia, great side characters, my ear feels tingly too lmao, SOMEONE BETTER GET THESE MF SNAKES ON THIS MF PLANE (cliff), umbrella moments got me uwu, gimme at least didi pleaseandthankyou, FUCK I LOVE THIS ARTIST she keeping us WELL fed with these extras DAYUM, wind/earth master ship please sail, CALL ME DADDY IM DEAD, HC has LWJ energy like you are not qualified to talk to me LOL, WAIT this totally counts as there was only one bed trope, also I’m already excited about omegaverse ff (send me recs please please please)

4 week lovers

Tags: ongoing because apparently I want to torture myself, mutual pining/”unrequited love”, college life, friends to lovers, blackmail ur crush into sex trope, public sex, I was going to tag possessive body language but possessive in a general sense apparently (starting strong yessss), sure jan @unrequited love dialogue, THEY WERE ROOMMATES *cackles*, sus haha, rough translation, pure comedy, shirt thing!, casual abuse :( (back story, traumatic childhood), I’m getting TharnType vibes (but not quite…), that note is precious, cry during/after sex, great angles, dialogue A+ 

Burlesque Night

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, stripper/body guard, coworkers, lust at first sight, magic mike vibes, fridays = getting fucked on stage O-O, well that was traumatizing af, took a bullet, real dicks, LDR, CUTE, I’m not in love with you… sure jan, OH WOW MASTER dlksaj;alsdkja;lsdkja;sld, gay awakening/first time, the art detail is *chefs kiss*, disappointed but not surprised :( :( :(, we stan a yes and lover, shirt thing, still not sure wtf the vertical anus thing is but full circle moment haha, you know what fuck it I’d re-read this 9/10

My one and only cat

Tags: ongoing, cat hybrids, god damn it I’m totally in furrydom ffs, ah well here we go, idol hot = loneliness wahhh /s, so hot he literally transforms other beings, omg a cat cafe CUTE, fuck that cat is cute *so fluffy*, stalker status, comedy, real dicks, I think the uncle would be supportive/jealous even I hope they talk about it I’m dying to know his thoughts, big tiddies, if this ain’t the cutest shit FLUFF/SMUT, copious amounts of cum, ate it with the panties on, CAKE, xmas, his milkshakes bring all the boy(cats) to the yard, trifling bitch

Imitation Mate

Tags: completed, omegaverse, alpha x alpha. Class rivals YAS, childhood frans, enemies to lovers omg this is all the shit I want, manipulation 1000 but yolo I ship it

Mr. 100% Perfect

Tags: ongoing, so relatable, OCD?, hoarder, when I read the title I thought mental illness and I was right, masks ugh RELATABLE, getting back together w ex, woof sibling drama/manipulation, suicide attempt, omg their communication regarding the psycho is REFRESHING, OMG JEJU ISLAND I see it in every fucking kdrama ever but this is the first time I’ve seen it mentioned in a manga *hm* interesting, furry furry everywhere, eye contact, finished reading season 1 pause for an omergaverse cause, okay I’m back and season 2 starting STRONG #1 men are gross #2 mans just went right to a blowie while mf was trying to pee lmao i can NOT the germs barf, fuckboi extraordinaire stressing over a textback is *great*, that istg face is perfect, HYUNGGGG, hand on his heart OW MY HEART, vibe check LOL, here for this plot dev, END OF SEASON2 NOOOOOOOimnotready. Head bonks CUTE

The origin of species

Tags: ongoing, omegaverse, sex tape, blackmail, i already don’t like this teacher, size difference, ‘JUST DIE’ hahahahahaha, I’m in love with noona, wait Ahjussi means uncle/mister? Dangerous convenience store has a new meaning to me now, DECEASED @they won’t, copious amounts of cum, alcohol to have intimacy *sighs in early 20s*, also WTF THEY ARE FUCKING AND THERE’S NO PHERMONE STUFF! What’s the point of being ABO without smell *swaggy p meme???*, wait okay ch 11 it begins, stockholm syndrome but since childhood I’m fairly certain *looking at you teacher I don’t trust these mfs*, dubcon obviously, also the can’t be knotted thing has me *cardi b meme that’s weird that’s sus* obvs poor bb about to get preg af, five word horror story: I won’t hurt you again *why tf you lyinggggg why u always lyinggg meme*, white collar crime, what’s the point of a contract when there’s no actual choice

How to Chase an Alpha

Tags: ongoing, lowkey been avoiding this one not because I think it’ll be bad I just..idk the brain is a weird thing, page 2 and I love mains attitude fucking gagged sass me bb, starting with rough translation but it be that way sometimes, GROUNDS HIMSELF BY TOUCHING HIS BLACK CARD I CANTTT, pheromone city fuck it UP, MC is a MOOD, mutual pining, when u and bae both hire PI’s to get info on each other, R-E-S-P-E-C-T, shirt thing, fucking chuffed about the rival fucking bring it, funny art, cheated on ugh mah heart I saw it coming and it still hurt, pure comedy this airport scene is so funny to me wtf, LDR, good ol murica fuckboi, LOVE HIM RIDE FOR UR MAN/MORALS, liams a little rapey rapist hm? No one’s ever said no… well being flooded with pheromones isn’t consent my dude, istg liam = I love it when they struggle, obvs jealousy/possessive tag but such is ABO, cat suit, BUNNY suit, sexy costumes, god damn it I love them that proposal/mpreg so cute, imprinting AW, ugh baes fam is so cute I needed that bc I wanna strangle wooyoungs dad, THE SECETARY is my fucking fav never stops being A+, SEC+LIAM?? Here for it *i ship it*, FUCK SO CUTE 12/10 re-read, fluff n smut, excited for how to chase an omegaside story hyung needs love!, JINI is mood, sales king I’m dying, that collar is ~hot~ btw

Egoism

Tags: completed (because jesus I can’t with ongoing, theheartbreakTM), UPDATE FML THE HEART BREAK IS REAL also no smut, omegaverse, hey stepbro, starts with rape, possessive/jealousy (isn’t all ABO?), age difference (6years, alpha is younger *can I get hyung plz lord*), HYUNG, woof this dad SUCKS, child abuse, rape culture *sigh*, I wanna get jacked like rick and summer and beat tf out of the dad, me n my cat, TELL EM HONEY I love this MC, traitor indeed, beta x omega btw, fated pair, coercive sex, didi going to be his own demise, BREAKUP/TIME SKIP NO this is BL hell, the rona is mentioned in this, ALL I WANT IS TO HEAR YOUR STORY WAHHHHHHHHHH also YES MY SHIP IS GOING TO SAIL I CAN FEEL IT, okay honestly frustrating a bit but also liked it yah 7-8/10, won’t re-read unless I’m looking for hurt though cause the comfort is BRIEF

Yarichin bitch bu

Tags: ongoing, reading because I watched this anime after seeing it mentioned in the comment section of -im-being-harassed-by-the-sexiest-man-of-the-year, anime was 2 eps a fucking wild the way this is uploaded SUCKS, no reality porn what plot rape-y ridiculous and now I need to read the source apparently haha, I need to know much more about yuri and blue hair guy ASAP (they have the spin off*adds to list*), high school setting, smut, studentsxstudents/teachers, photography club my ass, sex toys, kinky, crossdressing, gay awakening, unrequited love, jealousy, fake relationship, two faced people, OCD, COMEDY, rich people problems, hoarder, inferiority complex, one bed, toono is a dumbass in this love triangle or denial might be a better word, they are cousins my dude stop shipping it (I say to both toono and myself LOL), I wanna see Yuri’s face laksdjf;aldskf, vibrator #18 line is fucking iconic, yaguchi is about to get real interesting (BPD?), lies/manipulation, oh toono you sweet summer child, YURI i can’t wit chu, wait did he just punch the student because he won’t kiss him or???, dubcon/noncon obvs, finally my verse couple but they’re not a couple (yuri/tamu), they all care about each other is a weird way awwww, love confessions to pet vibrator scene are ICONIC MY DUDES I CAN NOTTT, lowkey living for Yuri’s drooling at this point, Jimi gives me such bad second hand embarrassment, Yuri the switch verse bb I’ve been looking for need more!, internalized homophobia, blackmail, MIDDLE FINGER IN THE AIR YAS KING, the heartbreak of ongoing/hasn’t been updated in years

Yarichin bitch bu dj wa

Tags: not completed I think, years old though, see above you know what it is, so cute omg, FIRST KISS AW, degradation kink?, MY VERSE COUPLE I’ve finally found you, biting, choking, rough sex, sex toys, they had fun together for another two hours DECEASED

Fucked by my Best Friend

Tags: ongoing, friends to lovers, body swap, Porn what plot, cannon threesomes in past maybe??(MFF for sure but MMF??), beach life, revenge, he became a HOT woman so honestly get over it, sloppy seconds, first off you’re both sluts second lmao this is going to be wild hm?, fellas is it gay if you kiss the homies, classic did you cum guy jfc, that’s how you get preg dumbass, ah the joys of being a woman /s assault in der clrub, *DEEP SIGH* @ you almost being raped turns me on, YES TURNING BACK DYING, gender has nothing to do with this LOL but true. Also yes cannon threesomes/orgies, googles frotting, mans like narrating playtime, intecurial sex public sex, lingerie, this is the closest thing to straight manga I’ve read hahaha, THE SCIENCE OMG FUCKING RIDIC :you need a mass amount of semen within you SURE JAN, possessive. Objectification, she trying to fuck without Shion LMAO, 34+35, do you think he’s on r/nofap, dry orgasm honestly impressed with mans rn ngl, spit as lube, anal fingering, just helping the homies find their prostate, bottom shaming (disappointed but not surprised), bis/gays in denial smh, question if he has a wet dream will he turn into a woman?, shirt thing, lol at female orgasm =anal in switcharoos mind, paging doc perv, shion is enjoying dressing up hm? Same dude, biggest reality gap is believing shion got admitted to a college HAHA, bad anatomy all over the place dude, rui is a dedicated exhibitionist, HE SO TIGHT BECAUSE THERES NO LUBE team no lube over here apparently not even a courtesy spit, yandere territory sort of?, Mayu with the dick wet comment is *chefs kiss*, THE HEARTBREAK OF ONGOING WAHHH I can’t believe I read all this but I can? 8/10 problematic possessive porn

[plainlo-inthemorning]

A Loki TVA/Lokane fic. Rating T.

Previously: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 (of 6)

Shine a Light, part 5

He is aware that the love of his life is digging her fingers into his arm and saying his name.

He is aware of Stark standing to his other side, visor off, speaking to someone on the phone. His voice is hard.

But most of all, Loki is aware that all their lives were just changed by a great big terrifying rip in the seam of reality.

Neither Jane nor the Avenger could possibly be completely sure of what they saw. Loki, as much as he desperately wants to, harbors little doubt.

The man he held in a death-grip only minutes ago and who just now disappeared through a doorway conjured out of thin air was somehow … himself.

Another him. Just as the man had said.

After witnessing from afar the double kiss Jane, Loki, who was coming back from a swim, had been more than ready to skip past introductions and just sever the intruder’s head from his body.

But as soon as he had laid hands on him, a torrent of images had flooded his mind – chaotic, confused images that seemed to span past, present, future and beyond.

The shock had made him lessen his grip and the double had used his (his!) magic to throw him off.

With some distance between them and Stark suddenly there as well, Loki had tried to let his rage quell the dizzying realization. Unsuccessfully.

He is still shaking, clutching a dagger in each hand. He drew them instinctively as the other made for the door.

He should have caught him!

“Loki! What did he say?!”

“What?” His thoughts are racing in too many directions to hear her.

“The … man, what was he saying to you?!”

Jane is looking up at him with those beautiful brown eyes, worry and urgency all over her delicate features. Though not fear, Loki notes. His ever-brave wife. Both her hands are now clamped around his wrist.

That thing kissed her.

The daggers disappear and Loki wraps both arms around the mother of his unborn child, almost crushing her to his chest while still staring at the spot where the double vanished.

“It’s okay. It’s okay, love”, he murmurs. He suspects things are very much not okay.

So does Jane, of course.

“Loki, was it … oof, not so tight … “

She wriggles against him, and he remembers his amor. And her condition. He immediately relaxes his arms a bit while letting the leather and metal melt back into the clothes he wore before: Black jeans and a fitted, dusty green t-shirt (his “rockstar outfit”, Jane had called it, when Loki first started switching up his human wardrobe some years ago now). Drops of saltwater still cling to the ends of his slightly curly raven locks.

“Tony! Jane, Loki! What on Earth was that?”

Pepper jumps out of the car parked in front of the house and runs towards them. She must have seen everything as she drove down the road following her flying husband.

“The verdict’s still out, Peps”. Tony nods at Loki. “You wanna chip in here? I just called the boy-scout at headquarters and told him to be on guard for one of the magician’s interns playing a prank”.

Loki shakes his head slowly.

“Unfortunately, I don’t think Stephen had anything to do with this”.

“You’re right, I didn’t”.

All four of them turn around to see the sorcerer step out of a swirling ring of light, his cape billowing around him. The mahogany floor and paneled walls of his Manhattan mansion are briefly visible behind him before the portal closes with a hiss of little sparks.

Strange is wearing an even sterner expression than usual which only adds to Loki’s growing sense of dread.

Tony, however, groans loudly.

“Dude, really? Couldn’t you at least have let us have dinner before party crashing? Not shaming your bachelor lifestyle or anything, but this was couples’ night!”

“Tony!” Pepper hits her husband on the arm.

Strange ignores him.

“I’m afraid the arrival of your surprise visitor indicates that a set of … unfortunate events have been set in motion”.

As always, his voice is as even as if he was reading the weather forecast, but by now Loki has learned to differentiate the (very) subtle nuances between scorn and sincerity. Strange places his hands behind his back and regards them coolly. “I’ve had Wong reach out to Doctor Banner and director Fury. They should be here shortly. Stark, you may want to-”.

Tony narrows his eyes, lip twitching.

“Hey, Bleeker Street, you know I have low tolerance for you showing up and barking orders without giving two f**** for context. How did you even know that something was going down here? By all means, don’t keep us in suspense until the cavalry gets here”.

Strange doesn’t answer, but the way his eyes dart to Jane sends needles through Loki’s heart.

“Let’s go sit down, shall we?” With one eyebrow raised, Strange puts on a suave smile and gestures towards the house. The effect is a little startling.

Jane ducks out from under Loki’s arms. “Jane, don’t you want to-“. She brushes him off.

“Yes, good idea, Stephen. Let’s go sit down”. She motions for Strange to follow. “Welcome to our home. I was actually making drinks before, but I think I need to add a bit more kick to them…”

Her voice is oddly calm, and Loki fights the urge to grab her and magic them both far, far away, not caring that she would be furious with him for making decisions on her behalf.

He’s brought back to the present by an even odder sound as Strange actually chuckles.

Loki is not sure he’s ever heard it before. Then again, it’s not that he really knows Strange when it comes down to it. Like Tony, Loki finds the wizard exceedingly arrogant.

Pepper is the first to follow Jane and Strange across the lawn while Loki and Tony hang back.

“Real ladies’ man when he wants to. Who would have thought”. The billionaire superhero scoffs. His suit has folded itself off and into a briefcase next to his feet.

“Tony-“

“Uh oh. First name basis. So this really is an emergency”.

Loki faces his friend. Often in the past years, as they’ve grown steadily closer outside of “work”, he has secretly marveled at how long they’ve come since someone threw someone else off a building after being called a diva.

And attacking a city with an alien army.

Jane always insisted the two “hotheads” (her word) had a lot in common when not trying to murder one another (be it with weapons or sarcastic commentary), and Loki has to admit she was right. The metal man is fiercely intelligent, and Loki has been enjoying the quick-witted snark between them infinitely more than he ever valued the company of Thor’s band of gullible warrior groupies on Asgard.

“Well?”. Tony is regarding him with eyebrows raised, expectant. “Give me your take on this cause I’m starting to put together some rather outlandish theories myself here that I’m kinda hoping you’ll thwart ASAP”.

Loki draws in a deep breath.

“That thing with Banner at the tower two years ago-“

“Fuck!” Tony exhales, exasperated. “I knew you were gonna say that”. He squints into the distance towards the ocean, his mouth a tight line. It’s a rare day that Tony Stark is caught under a clear blue sky without sunglasses but for once he doesn’t seem to notice.

Loki takes a step closer to him and lowers his voice so they won’t alert the others just yet.

“I told you then and you didn’t want to listen! Everything about Bruce’s story was off. I know he didn’t remember much after Steve took him down, but you all pretty much accused me of trying to get back at him for, well, you know what, and I kept telling you I thought someone had gotten to him! Now-“

Loki searches for the words. It’s beyond absurd.

“That man was a version of me, Tony. I have no idea how, but I felt it. I saw into his mind. It was filled with images from my past and then … other, recent memories. Dark ones. He came from nowhere. Literally. It didn’t feel like a place. I tried to discard it as a trick, you saw that, but…” Loki runs his hand through his moist hair. “Stephen obviously felt something tear open too. And that is not a good sign”.

He has Tony’s full attention.

“Tear open? Could this other you be associated with your old boss? With Thanos?”

Loki winces.

“No, I don’t think he’s involved”, he says sharply. “But I can’t be sure …”

Tony catches his tone pats his shoulder. “Okay, okay. Shake it off. Didn’t mean to suggest anything. Let’s say he’s not. I’d much prefer that, at least until the wizard presents us with an even uglier imminent threat to the universe. Which, judging by the fact that he’s even here, willingly sipping cocktails in your kitchen as we speak, he probably will”.

Tony throws his hands up with a dramatic air.

“And here I thought the most challenging part of this weekend would be to convince you two to come see Hamilton with us in the city next week!”

“Who’s-“

“Never mind. Did you get a look at that gadget your guy was holding? Boy, he looked like an office slave who’d slept under his desk for a month before getting fired, didn’t he? Were you ever into accounting yourself by any chance?”

Loki shuts his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. Immediately he sees the image of the double kissing Jane, his arms wrapped firmly around her supple body. Rage rushes right back through him and his eyes snap open.

“Stark - I can’t. But yes, I did notice the device. It looked like a phone”.

“Yeah, somehow I don’t think it was the new iPhone”.

Tony shakes his head.

“The two of us and we didn’t take him down. Fury’s gonna have our badges”.

//

The director of SHIELD and Bruce Banner arrive barely 15 minutes later through a portal in the middle of the meadow-like lawn, following Wong and both looking grim and out of place as they weave around patches of wildflowers to reach the porch.

“Gentlemen, I trust you’re well”. Loki greets the trio with an only vaguely sarcastic nod as he holds open the screen doors to them, like a good host. Despite what some may still think, he can behave.

He could have just used magic of course, but he figures Banner is freaked enough as it is just by being here. The scientist hasn’t spoken more than five words to him since 2014 and at least three of them were expletives.

Once inside the small living room, Bruce goes to stand by the window and busies himself polishing his glasses with a little too much vigor than seems warranted.

He avoids Loki’s eyes but looks up and smiles wearily as Jane comes over to say hello.

Fury leans against the doorframe to the hallway and crosses his arms, face a closed book, and, by the sound of it, Tony is going through the cabinets in the kitchen trying to find something to spice up Jane’s pre-dinner cocktails.

Pepper is talking to Strange and Wong on the blue IKEA couch (assembled by magic after the attempt to go at it “as a team” turned into a shouting match), and Loki is about to politely ask Strange to please spit it out right this minute, when Jane is next to him, taking his hand.

“We need to talk. Now”.

Her voice is low and steady but her eyes insisting. She squeezes his fingers.

He squeezes back. “Come”.

Loki looks to Fury but he’s focused on Strange who’s listening very closely to something Wong’s saying.

Not letting go of Jane’s hand, he turns towards the kitchen. In the doorway they pass Tony who’s now holding what appears to be a glass of scotch. He must have given up on the gin and tonics.

“Hey, where are you two going? Forget about playing hosts okay, let’s just get started with part two of the evening’s entertainment”.

“In a minute”.

Jane pushes past him, ignoring Tony’s look and dragging Loki with her.

She closes the door behind them.

“Okay, so…” Jane looks around nervously in the small kitchen with the rustic white fronts and old brass handles. She loves that kitchen. They haven’t changed a thing since moving in. Loki reaches for her, but she takes a step back. “Jane, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I should have gotten there faster. Did he …“

“I need you tell me exactly what he said to you”.

She is absentmindedly opening and closing her fists in the way she does when that brilliant astrophysicist mind of hers is working out an intricate problem in the lab.

Or, Loki knows, when she’s about to deliver him bad news.

He clears his throat. “He said he was me. And that something big was happening”. There. “And then he said he was sorry”.

Jane studies his face.

“That he was sorry? For what?”

“He didn’t say. He stepped through the door”.

Jane is quiet and now it’s Loki’s turn to try and read her expression.

“What did he say to you? I assume he pretended to be me …?”

Jane holds up a hand and bites her lip. Loki swallows.

“Loki, when we were staying at the flat in London, after we defeated Malekith…”

“What?” Loki furrows his brow in confusion. “Why are we-“

“The poison from the monster’s blade, it had you slipping in and out of consciousness for days. You were so feverish…”

“Yes, I know. I was there”. Loki’s blood is slowly turning very cold, but he musters a smile. “And you were amazing, love. Although some might say you took adv-“

Jane interrupts him in the middle of his blossoming smirk. A slight blush appears on her own cheeks.

“Yes, um, it’s not about that day”. She gives him a stern look. “The other day, later, when Thor left after you two went and had your, um, talk … there’s something I need to tell you …”

The door to the living room opens behind them.

“Actually, if you don’t mind, Doctor Foster, I would very much like to hear this too”.

Stephen Strange steps into the kitchen. The door closes behind him.

Part 6

[watchmegetobsessed]

And I always will - Tom Holland

❄️ FANFICmas 2020 ❄️

Read more about FANFICmas here!

week 3 babies! it’s been so long since i last wrote for Tom and this story just screamed for him when I made up the plot. so here is some cute friends to lovers christmas edition! updated the fanficmas post with next week’s fic and added another one for the 24th, check it out if you are interested!

word count: 4.2k

masterlist

It’s not a date, it’s not a date, it’s not a date!

That’s your mantra for the evening and the closer the time is coming when Tom is picking you up, the louder you’re shouting it in your mind. Well, while it was sure he was nowhere near your apartment you physically kept telling yourself, heart pounding in your chest with each passing moment, but when he texted you that he’d be there in five you shut yourself up.

Stepping to the mirror you take one last look at yourself in your simple black dress and red blazer, a simple but fitting look for the annual Christmas party of the company you’re working for. You tug your hair behind your ears to make your earrings more apparent, they are like little red Christmas ornaments, the perfect touch up for the occasion and you also happen to know Tom loves how you wear them around the holidays every year.

This whole thing started a week ago when he was over for a movie night, something you often did when he was in town and you whined about having to go to the company party alone again and listen to your boss comment on how she was already married at your age. She is a very old school woman with strong beliefs that a woman should be able to catch herself a man at an early age if she doesn’t want to end up alone for the rest of her life.

You were only twenty three, not at all in rush to settle down, but you hated the teasing and commenting every year. It happened all through the year, but it was the worst at the Christmas party, because then she had the time to talk to you without the distraction of work, so she was able to touch on more personal topics as well.

Tom listened to you patiently, letting you rage about the irritation even the thought brings to you every year before proposing his idea.

“I could go with you and pretend to be your boyfriend.”

The words rolled off his tongue so easily, like it was nothing at all, when in reality it put your stomach into a knot immediately. It might have not mean anything to him other than just a friendly request but it meant so much more to you, being in love with the man for years.

Cliché, right? Falling for your best friend and keeping your emotions bottled up because you’re too afraid to come clear and possibly ruin your friendship. It sounds like a horrible teen movie, but this is the truth. It’s not something you can just blurt out without having to overthink about all the possible outcomes that would send you into a rabbit hole of the worst case scenarios until you are scared to talk about your feelings for life.

You were hesitant about his idea, but like every time, he managed to talk your ears off and convince that it would be a great idea.

“Lots are already thinking we are a couple, it would be easy!” he assured you, and he gave you a sly, cocky smirk, one you can never resist. So naturally, you said yes at the end and that brings you to this evening, when you’re nervously waiting for him to arrive to pick you up so the two of you could go to that stupid party together, pretending to be a couple.

You keep pacing back and forth in the small hallway as you wait for him to arrive and when you hear the knock on the door you jump.

It’s not a date, Y/N! Just pretentious!

You keep telling yourself your little mantra as you stride over to the door and open it for him. And there he is, handsome as ever, wearing black dress pants and a nice, crispy looking white shirt under his wool coat, the top buttons of the shirt left undone to let your greedy eyes a little hint of his toned chest underneath the fabric. You need to stop yourself from sucking on your breath, he looks so great, not just now, but all the damn time, making you feel lightheaded with just a simple smile.

“You look beautiful, girlfriend,” he tells you, putting a teasing tone into the last word and though it was just a joke, it made your heart flutter for sure.

“Thank you, boyfriend,” you shyly smile, the word tastes so sweet on your tongue, but there’s some hidden pain behind it.

“Ready to go?” You nod and grab your coat and purse before shutting the door behind you and locking the door.

The ride is short, but feels like forever. You’re anxiously chewing on your bottom lip, heart pounding in your chest and you fear that Tom might hear it and question you about it. This is so nerve-wrecking, and so not how you imagined to be his girlfriend for the first time.

Though it’s the closest you’ll get to the title, probably, you tell yourself, stomach churning at the thought.

“Hey,” Tom’s soft voice grabs your attention when he stops at a red light. “Nervous?”

“Just a little,” you nod shortly. “I just… want to my boss to take me seriously for once,” you lie, because there’s absolutely no way you are telling him it’s him that makes you shit your panties.

“I’ll be right there with you and we’ll charm the shit out of that woman,” he smirks making you laugh at his words.

“Hope so,” you mumble with a sigh, turning back to stare out the window.

Tom parks down in an empty spot near the venue that holds the part and he helps you out of the car giving you a hand, but he doesn’t let go of it once you are standing on your feet, holding your hand and even lacing your fingers together. When he gives it a gentle squeeze you peek up at him and notice that he is looking down at your with a warm smile as if he is trying to tell you that it’s gonna be alright without words. You try to swallow your anxious thoughts and hope he doesn’t find your hand too sweaty as the two of you head inside.

You work for a huge marketing company, one of the biggest ones in London. You landed an assistant job two years ago, fresh out of college and worked yourself up to be a fulltime graphic designer, mostly working on visuals for smaller campaigns running in the company, but you were proud of your work and enjoyed it to the fullest. One of the lead designers is rumored to retire sometime next year and you were hoping to be considered for his spot, thought there are quite a lot who has been working there for a longer time, but you felt like you have proven yourself to be suitable for the job. Tonight you are praying to charm your boss so she would move your name forward in the process and earn you a few good points at the admission, but this meant that you have to make her believe you are the definition of couple goals so she would get off your back and finally see that you are trying your best to move forward in life.

The venue is one big ball room, several tables set on the sides with the department’s name on the table to let people know where to sit, the luxurious decoration making the whole place appear like Winter Wonderland straight out of a fairytale. There’s a stage at the very back with a DJ already playing and a dancefloor in the middle, some guests are busting their best dance moves there, while others are enjoying the open buffet that runs along the two sides, tables filled with the most delicious looking meals.

A waiter greets you both, offering you champagne and you gladly take a glass while Tom shakes his head with a soft “I’m driving, thank you”.

Looking around you see some familiar faces but there are a lot new ones. The company has a whole office building with five floors and one usually stays on their own floor throughout the working days, you don’t interact much, so it’s hard to tell who you are working with on a wider level.

“Do you know where we are sitting?” Tom asks leaning closer to your ear so you hear what he is saying over the music and as his hot breath hits your neck it sends a shiver down your spine.

He is so close and his hand feels so warm on mine, you think to yourself while your eyes scan the place, trying to find your colleagues. When you spot them you pull Tom in their direction, plastering a nervous smile on your lips.

“Hi everyone!” you greet them arriving to the big, circular table. You work with a team of ten designers, some of them are older, but there are two around your age. Sally is twenty-five, her desk is right across yours and you’ve become closer, eating lunch together almost every day, and then there’s Owen, who is basically the office’s gossip source, always knows what happened to who and he makes sure to give the word away to the right people. Your older colleagues find him nosy, but you think it’s funny how he can still get any information from anyone even though he is known to have a big mouth. There’s just something about a tall, gay dude who approaches you with a sly smile, it’s like he puts a spell on people and they magically start talking. He often joins you and Sally for lunch, the three of you forming a club of young, ambitious people, holding each other up so you don’t get crushed by the judgy thirties.

When Owen looks up from his cocktail he almost spits it out seeing Tom standing next to you, holding your hand firmly.

“Little miss Y/N?! What is this supposed to be?” he gasps dramatically and you just chuckle shaking your head at him.

“This, is my uhh—This is my boyfriend, Tom,” you nervously introduce him and he waves around politely.

“Hi, nice to meet you all,” he calls out and most just acknowledge him with a nod and a hello, but Owen is over the roof that you just appeared with Tom Holland by your side.

“Why haven’t you tell me you were fucking Spider-Man himself?” he continues to rage and you almost choke on your own saliva hearing his words. Your cheeks start to heat up, but seemingly Tom doesn’t feel as uncomfortable as you, he just chuckles lightly, before pulling out your seat to help you sit before he takes the seat next to you.

Sally, who is sitting between you and Owen just slaps his chest in a warning manner.

“Control yourself!” she scolds him, but it only earns her an eye-roll.

“I’m sorry, but I feel offended I didn’t know about this,” he explains pointing at you and Tom.

“I hope you understand that I like to keep my private life, well, private. So it’s my fault Y/N hasn’t been bragging about us.” Tom rescues you from making up some stupid lie and you’re happy you didn’t have to say a word, so you just chug down half of your champagne in hopes it would ease your nerves a little.

Surprisingly, Owen backs off immediately, giving you a knowing look, as if he understood so well the life of a well-known actor even though he was far from being one.

“Oh, totally. I get it, don’t worry about it, Tom. Though I’m sure she’s been dying to talk about you all along.”

“Has she?” Tom teasingly looks down at you and you just let out an awkward chuckle nodding.

“Yeah. Exactly,” you mumble finishing off your champagne and putting it to the table. Tom can easily tell how nervous you are, so he puts a hand to your knee under the table and gives it a gentle squeeze, leaving it there afterwards, but it just rises your anxiety level. You are highly aware of every touch and look, as if your senses became hypersensitive all of a sudden, but only to Tom.

“So how long you two have been together?” Sally asks with a warm smile, trying her best to steal the opportunity from Owen to talk so he doesn’t say anything inappropriate and you are endlessly thankful to her for that.

“Um, couple of months,” you say the first thing that comes to your mind and from the corner of your eye you see Tom just nod along your words.

“And how do you know each other if I might ask?”

“We’ve been friends for a long time, actually,” Tom speaks up this time. “Y/N’s dad used to work with my dad when we were younger and we sort of became friends. I was always in love with her, though it took me a long time to grow the balls to ask her out.” You are stunned at how easily he is talking about something that’s not real, as if he has been building up this story in his mind for a while, but that can’t be the case of it.

“Oh, this is so cute! And did you feel the same way?” Sally asks you. Licking your lips you glance over at Tom.

“Yeah. Loved him all along,” you softly say and it’s the truth, however he will probably never know about it.

“It’s like in the movies!” Sally gasps, holding her hand to her chest.

Tom’s eyes still hold yours and he gives your knee another squeeze that makes you take a deep breath before you tear your gaze away from him, feeling giddy and lightheaded.

You stay at the table a little longer before the two of you head to fill your plates before everything is fully gone. It’s kind of a relief to get away from Owen and Sally, you hated lying to them, but you had no choice.

“Everything alright?” Tom asks, brushing a hand against the small of your back as the two of you stand at the buffet, looking at the food.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you nod with a weak smile. “Just a little nervous,” you admit.

“Don’t be, we are doing just fine,” he smirks and leaning down he kisses your forehead gently. It’s nothing new, he often does this and the gesture always manages to pull you out of your boiling thoughts and it has the same effect this time as well. You feel like you can breathe again after holding it in for a long time.

You carelessly glance over your shoulder as you wait for Tom to finish packing his plate up with veggies when you spot your boss talking to a guy who you recall works as an accountant on a higher level. Her eyes move just enough to meet yours and you suck on your breath when she spots Tom next to you, right when he reaches out mindlessly sliding a hand to your waist.

“Oh God, she saw us,” you mumble under your breath as you watch her excuse herself from the guy and head in your way.

“Hm? What?” Tom lifts his head and his eyes quickly find the tall, lean woman walking towards you with ambitious and confident steps. Mrs. Winston is the kind of woman that could easily intimidate any high power man in the industry, and she worked hard to be where she is now. However, you don’t necessarily always share her beliefs of the world and life, for instance her vision of a woman marrying a man as young as possible.

“Y/N? Who is this handsome man you brought tonight?” she asks right away, eyes landing on Tom who has put his plate to the table behind him and circled an arm around your waist. Before you could even get a word out, Tom extends his other hand out for her, with a charming smile.

“Tom Holland. It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Winston. I’m Y/N’s boyfriend.”

Oh God, you’ll never get used to hearing him say that and you’re amazed he remembered her name even though you just mentioned it earlier.

“Nice to meet you too. Call me Carol,” she smiles, seemingly already loving Tom and honestly, you can’t blame her. “I saw that you were bringing a plus one, but I was expecting a relative,” she comments finally paying you a glance and you can feel the sharpness in it, how she partially meant it as an insult, but you just smile at her widely.

“Oh, no. Hope you don’t mind it.”

“Not at all. So tell me, why do you look so familiar, Tom?”

“I’m an actor, you might have seen me in movies.” It takes Mrs. Winston to put the picture together, but when she eventually does, she gives you a highly approving look.

“Well yes! Now I remember! I think my son in law is a big fan.”

“Give him my best wishes,” Tom nods with a warm smile.

“You know, I’m happy to see Y/N finally with a worthy man by her side. I always told her to grab herself a good one before she runs out of time,” Mrs. Winston starts her usual sermon.

“Oh, I think Y/N is perfect on her own, I think she is an amazing individual,” Tom replies and your and Mrs. Winston’s eyebrows rise at the same time. “I don’t think a woman needs a man by her side to make her complete and I admire her strength as a person on her own, not just in a relationship.”

“Don’t you think a woman needs the support of a man to succeed in this man dominated world we live in?”

“Not at all,” he shakes his head confidently and you feel him pull you closer to his side while you listen to his words curiously. “I think women deserve the recognition of them and their work and not to have it overshadowed by any men. I’m proud to be Y/N’s boyfriend and I’ll support her through everything, but I would never let anyone think of her as just a part of our relationship, or the person connected to me, because she is so much more than that and I want everyone to recognize that.”

You are at a loss of words, you knew Tom was a feminist, supporting women’s rights passionately, but you never heard him talk about it in a close relation with you. His words twisted your heart in the best possible way and though tonight is all about faking, something is telling you that these are his genuine thoughts, except the part about your relationship, but he could easily mean just your friendship under that.

Mrs. Winston seems stunned at the honest and forward answer, though you can tell it surprised her that someone went against her beliefs. However, it doesn’t seem like she is upset about it, more like she appreciates the balls that someone spoke up.

Her eyes fall back on you and there’s a small smile tugging at her red lips.

“He is a keeper, Y/N,” she simply tells you before walking away.

“Holy shit,” you breathe out when she is far away. Tom gives your waist another squeeze as he glances down at you with a smirk. “It’s like you put a spell on her!”

“I’m a charming bastard,” he shrugs smugly before grabbing his plate from the table and the two of you make your way back to the table.

Following the little talk with your boss you feel a lot more relaxed, knowing that Tom charmed the shit out of the woman. Now you are starting to enjoy the party, laughing with Sally and Owen and you’re happy to see that Tom is getting along with them pretty well too.

When the DJ starts playing All I Want For Christmas, the whole room cheers as one and most guests rush to the dance floor, that includes you and Tom as well.

He keeps you close, twirling you and moving around with you to the song, even singing it just like most people around you. Looking around you spot Mrs. Winston dancing as well, a lot more reserved than you, but she looks like she’s genuinely having a good time. She winks at you when your eyes meet and she sees Tom wrap an arm around your waist. You feel yourself blushing and you turn back to him, earning a sweet smile from him as he is enjoying the party.

When the song ends, the DJ slows it down a few knots playing Christmas Lights by Coldplay, people start to leave the dancefloor, only couple staying to slow dance to the song. Your eyes meet Tom and you thought he might want to go back to the table, but instead, his arms wrap around your waist and he pulls you to his chest, starting to sway to the rhythm.

You try to ignore the butterflies in your stomach as you feel his body pressed against yours, his hands holding your waist firmly, and you cheek is next to his, occasionally brushing in the motions. You run your hands up his broad shoulders and rest them behind his neck, a shiver running down your spine when you hear him sing the lines into your ear:

“Like some drunken Elvis singing, I go singing out of tune, saying how I always loved you darling and I always will.”

You lean back just enough to look into his eyes, feeling like the words he sang were a message addressed straight to you and you needed to see it in his look. When your gazes meet your heart skips a beat when they validate your thoughts. He sang those lines on purpose and he wanted you to hear them, but still, you can’t bring yourself to say or do something. You just stand there, wrapped in his arms, eyes lost in his, swaying gently to the song.

He brings a hand up to your face and tugs your hair behind your ears, his yes fall to your earring and he can’t help the smile that tugs on his lips.

“I don’t know if this is the right time, but I feel like it is,” he softly starts, seemingly having a hard time to find his words. “Y/N?”

“Yeah?” you breathe out faintly.

“I love you.”

The words almost push you out of your balance, and you feel like you are falling down in a deep, endless hole. He said the words you’ve been aching to hear from him for so long, he really said them and he is looking at you with eyes you’ve only seen in the mirror when you were thinking about telling him about your feelings. But this time the look belongs to him and he is breathlessly waiting for you to say something in return.

“I love you too,” you softly tell him, brushing your fingers gently along his jawline. He breaks a relieved smile, but then furrows his eyebrows in a serious expression.

“Just to make it sure, you are not talking about a friendly love, right?”

You can’t help but let out a chuckle, shaking your head at him.

“No. Not friendly,” you assure him and he sighs in relief again.

“Great, because it would have been really awkward.”

You bite into your bottom lip, shyly staring up at him, a little lost about what should be said or done next, when you hear Owen call out from behind you.

“You guys are standing under the mistletoe! Kiss!”

First you turn to look at him and then you follow the direction where he is pointing and you see that you are in fact standing under a little mistletoe, hanging from the ceiling. Turning to face Tom you shyly smile at him, while he looks way more confident in himself.

“We can’t break the rule,” he chuckles teasingly, making you laugh as well before leaning down he captures your lips in a sweet, breathtaking kiss.

You feel like a teenager again, the butterflies are going wild in your stomach and you’re pretty sure your hands are shaking, but you couldn’t care less. All you could think about is Tom and that you were finally kissing him. Teenage you would lose her mind knowing you finally got to kiss him, after all those years of secretly dreaming about it.

Tom kisses you again and again until you both are breathing heavily, so he pulls back a little, resting his forehead against yours, his hands keeping you close to him.

“Wanna get out of here?” he breathes out and you nod your head eagerly.

“Fuck yes,” you chuckle making him laugh as well before he grabs your hand and pulls you back to the table to grab your stuff and then head out.

You don’t bother to say goodbye, or tell anyone you’ve left, you were busy feeling Tom’s hands touching you wherever he could, his lips finding yours every other minute. You both are a hot mess in the car on the way home and when you finally reach your apartment, you turn on the Christmas lights in your room, before Tom pulls you down to the bed and makes love to you all through the night.

-

general/forever taglist for Tom Holland

i do separate taglists for different people, but not for different works of mine! if you ask to be on my Tom taglist, you’ll be tagged in all of my Tom fics!

@zaahidahhh @shawn-youth  @wildflower-cth @imaginashawnns @haute-shawn  @learning-howto-be-myselfx3 @cutepenguin1 @madatmendes @harrysleftchelseaboot  @sarcasticallywitty15 @dontworrysunflower​

if you’d like to be taken off or added to the list, please let me know!

[jazzanddaydreams]

Evidence and reasons to ship Sophiana that literally no one asked for

Disclaimer: I myself am a multi-shipper, so I ship both Sophiana AND Dexiana (and sokeefe of course), but anyway here's my reasoning for Sophiana (no hate to the other ships). This is WAYYYYY overly long and my adhd brain is crying trying to proof-read it so fair warning

1. Representation in this series. Even though I know it probably won't happen with these two, I can still dream. 

2. Both Sophie and Biana are strong independent females who have been sucked (mainly unknowingly) into love triangles in the midst of whatever mess is going on with the Neverseen. 

3. In the beginning of the series, Biana seemed to hate Sophie, but after persuasion from Alden, became friends with Sophie. From there, the two of them have had a couple of rocky moments (Alden's memory break, where she didn't hate Sophie, she just wouldn't talk to her or anyone, which is less harmful of a reaction that Fitz's. Also when Stina reveals that Biana became friends with Sophie initially because of her dad) but overall have been growing into good friends. 

Now for my evidence (be forewarned there's a LOT, but still not all my evidence bc I mainly skimmed through my books I had on hand): 

Book 1: 

Fitz in the first book is shocked when Sophie says she thinks Biana hates her, stating that they're  pretty similar (first book, I don't remember the page number or exact quote). 

 Page 272, in general, when Sophie hands Biana her midterms present, and Biana asks if she's coming over for dinner. After that interaction, both Dex and Maruca (Biana's best friend at the time) are glaring at Sophie. Maruca's reaction can be explained by being best friends and feeling like she's losing Biana (though hmm....), but Dex's reaction is a bit harder to explain, thus my reasoning. Dex at this time has a major crush on Sophie, and yes he hates the Vackers, but that doesn't explain why he's mad at Sophie, unless he feels like he has competition from Biana for Sophie's affections, and is glaring to try and stop her from forgetting he's an option (oh boy my poor child). 

Also just through the rest of this book, when Sophie is having troubles or avoiding her, Biana is actually worried, and cares about her friend, not lashing out at her, just wondering if she's going to come over, and being obviously disappointed when Sophie declines her invitations. "She's right though. Red is definitely your color." 

Book 2: 

Page 567. "'Uh, I've always known that,' Dex said, sitting on her other side. 'But remember? I like weird.' 'Me too,' Biana chimed in." We know later that this statement from Dex was him literally saying that he liked Sophie, but the big thing about this is that Biana agrees immediately after. Before Fitz agrees. This could be read as just friends, but I read it otherwise. 

Book 3: Page 590. Biana is fighting Gisela on Mount Everest, in extreme conditions. Sophie looks at her and is like "Did you know Biana could fight like that?" like she's impressed, and I mean it's very impressive because she's taking down an adult in extreme conditions, but they're in the middle of a fight, and Sophie takes the time to notice and point out Biana's fighting skills. Which seems a little bit ship-y. Later on this page she is written as smiling at imagining Biana fighting Fitz and Keefe and smiling, and then screaming when Biana almost dies, along with Biana's former crush (Keefe) and her brother (Fitz). 

Page 511. Biana literally hides in Magnate Leto's office when Sophie was getting her ability restricting circlet (HIGHLY FORBIDDEN AND DANGEROUS) and watches in silent support. She breaks so many rules doing that, and then to top it off, on this page she says she doesn't "think I could've been that brave." Which is extremely sweet given the circumstances, and knowing just how much she risked going in with Sophie and yet calling Sophie the brave one, it's just very sweet. 

Book 4: 

(Oh boy I love this one there's so much fuel here.) 

 Page 9. "Dex pretended to gag, while Biana stared at Keefe's arm around Sophie." This is generally read as Biana being jealous of Sophie getting Keefe's attention, but it can also be read as Biana being jealous of Keefe being able to get that close to Sophie in that way (and that is how I am choosing to interpret it). 

I would also like to point out that Biana chooses to run away with Sophie to be with the Black Swan. She doesn't have to. She could stay in the Lost Cities and serve her minimal punishment, then get back to her life. But she chooses the dangerous option to BE WITH SOPHIE, which speaks a lot about these two and how their relationship has grown from mutual animosity to ride-or-die friendship. 

Page 31. "'But we're in costume!' Biana argued. 'Yeah, but you guys will stand out. I mean...look at you. You look like models.'" Sophie literally says Biana looks like a model (along with the boys of course, but she's including EVERYONE in her group) (plus she also comments in her head NUMEROUS times that Biana is gorgeous, or pretty, or looks like a princess, and I don't know about you but I don't go around thinking about how gorgeous all my friends look, I mean they're all amazing people but I don't go around thinking "oh wow [friend] looks like a fabulous princess with their on point makeup and effortless looking outfit." It's just a little bit indicative  that Sophie might like Biana as more than just a friend, hidden in the deep reaches of her oblivion at least). 

Also I would just like to point out that on page 38, when the group sees the statue of David, Keefe immediately reacts to it, and Sophie has no immediate gross out factor, she's just like yeah it's art and this dude is naked so what, which I find a bit telling but idk. 

Bonus: Biana finds the fact that the statue is naked a bit disgusting, and is terrified at the thought of running into it, which also seems a bit telling. 

Page 77. aka the page where Biana compliments Sophie's eyes and calls them "striking and unique." 

Page 167, 168, 169. THEY LITERALLY SLEEP IN THE SAME BED TOGETHER TO COMFORT EACH OTHER. BIANA WENT TO SOPHIE'S ROOM FIRST WHEN SHE COULDN'T SLEEP AND IS IN NEED OF COMFORT, EVEN THOUGH HER MOM IS literally within walking distance away. 

Page 168 "The soft sound of Biana's breathing made the room feel warmer"

Page 615 "...especially when she realized Biana was there too. She pulled her soggy hair forward to cover her face. 'It's cold here.' 'It is,' Biana agreed. Sophie couldn't tell if the strain in Biana's voice was exhaustion or something else." This is after Biana and Alvar interrupt Sophie and Keefe basically cuddling in the cold after almost dying. This could be interpreted as Biana being sad that Sophie seems to be choosing Keefe over her, and she's struggling to deal with that. 

*~*

After these moments, Biana kind of fades into the background, along with Dex, until around book 8 (and even then....yes I'm a bit bitter that my girl doesn't get page time), so I'm going to skip ahead. 

Book 8: 

page 135. "...next to her daughter wearing a peacock blue gown with shimmering gold beading that was almost as stunningly beautiful as she was." Reminding you of her constant appeal to Biana's appearance, and also this is after Biana has been MAJORLY scarred, yet Sophie still finds her beautiful and oh look I'm crying now (onto the next!) 

Page 256: "'You okay?' Biana asked, plopping down beside Sophie on the grass and reaching out to brush some of the fallen pinkish, purplish, bluish petals out of Sophie's hair." this kind of thing is generally reserved for Fitz or Keefe, so I was SHOCKED when I read this. She's pulling the 'brushing the person's hair out of their face' ploy and I'm so here for it. 

Also, just Biana's reactions to Sophie dating her brother are a bit odd, as if she is only reluctantly okay with them being together. 

Unlocked (8.5): 

Biana's file: page 76. "Ultimately, though, Biana and Sophie have grown to genuinely respect and admire each other, and are now well and truly friends." This is under the heading explaining that Biana has trouble making friends because of complications with her brother,  and then goes on to mainly explain Biana's friendship with Sophie, which just...points toward the slim possibility of Sophiana. 

I'm not holding out a lot of hope, because I know it's probably not going to become reality, but I do have my reasoning and a decent amount of evidence, and I still can enjoy my ship from afar as the ship wars rage on. Because with these two gals, we could: 

1. Have the possibility of a healthy relationship where neither party is afraid to tell the other something

2. both balance each other out personality-wise

3. they've also gone through some rough spots but in all have retained a steady friendship in which Sophie isn't afraid Biana will betray her or hate her for anything (unlike SOME boys (I'm sorry, I love Keefe it’s just his decisions haven’t been all that great lately)) 

So yeah, tl;dr Biana and Sophie have the possibility of being in a great relationship built on support and trust and I put way too much effort into this

(Part 1 bc I’ll have more evidence eventually)

[since0202]

Chapter 34: Watch

Grace woke the next morning in her bed, groggy and hungover. She rubbed a hand down her face and let out a soft groan as she let the light bleed over her face. Sacred vampire wedding punch mixed with three shots of vodka were probably a bad idea. 

She pulled herself out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom, turning on the shower and letting the steam settle her stomach. As Grace hopped in the shower, she wondered if any of the pack were there, sleeping on her couch or in her office. 

She could feel their presence in the area, but within her home, their spirits quieted. It acted as a refuge, a place where their humanity was always first and they could be just boys, very feverish men who needed an escape from the responsibility that being a wolf warrior crowded in on them in their everyday life. There were no secrets under this roof. 

The water trickled warmly down her body and she felt across the length of her abdomen. Her eyes got distant but she didn’t let herself get lost. The warm pang had returned with Jacob’s return and with that came complications. She wasn’t healed, but she was getting there. Ti’Hal had warned her that he would return and that his soul was being called by another’s. Did that mean his imprint had finally emerged? Grace needed to brace herself for the crushing pain that she knew would come at finally losing him to the imprint, but she wasn’t going to let the progress she had made with her pack suffer. 

She had to focus. She was going to focus. A gentle knock on her bathroom door snapped her attention. 

“Grace?” It was Embry. His soft, calming, even voice sounded muffled as it floated through the crack in the door. 

“Yeah,” she answered. 

“Sam’s called a gathering at his place tonight...Everyone is supposed to come.” 

“Okay,” Grace answered simply again. 

“Jake’s going to be there.” Embry clarified. Grace felt a pounding in her ears as the heat waved a bout of nausea through her. She held around her stomach now, trembling softly, keeping herself together, desperate to remain this whole for a little while longer. 

“Uh huh,” she managed. Embry didn’t move from his spot by the door. 

“You okay?” he asked. Grace tried to pull in hair through her nose and out through her mouth as her stomach roiled. As her mouth filled with spit, she knew the nausea was going to win out and accepted her fate as she unceremoniously hurled in the shower. 

She leaned her head back and let the water rinse over her face and opened her mouth to take in some water. After a solid few minutes she called out: 

“Yup.” She tried not to look down at her feet. 

“Okay,” he said weakly. “Do you need help in there?” 

“No, Embry.” Grace said in pain. She heard a shuffling from behind the door and knew he had left her bedroom. She quickly washed up and threw on a robe before cleaning the mess at the bottom of her shower. 

When she came downstairs Embry and Quil were posted up at the kitchen table scrounging over left overs. Grace rubbed a towel through her hair and plopped down at an empty spot as they continued to grub. 

“How was puking in the shower?” Quil said nonchalantly. 

“Shut up,” Grace said softly. “So what’s this gathering about then?” Embry looked up from his food and shot Quil a look before saying, 

“We don’t know. Maybe a formal welcome back for Jake? Hard to say.” Grace nodded her head and picked at some bread on the table. 

“Or, what about this?” Grace said after a long moment of staring concerned at her bread. “We blow off this mysterious meeting, go to Port Angeles, and sneak into that sketchy nightclub the...the Racket?” 

“The Cricket?” Quil offered raising an eyebrow. 

“Yeah, I have a fake ID and you both look 40. We could totally get in. Sam hasn’t made it an order yet has he?” Grace looked at both of their faces eagerly. Quil’s face was alight with the thought that they were potentially blowing off some boring meeting for an outing that was definitely off limits. Embry didn’t seem so game. 

“What if we go after?” Embry offered. Always the responsible one. Holding it all together, keeping her on track. Grace sat back and crossed her arms. 

“Fine, but you have to promise.” 

“Promise.” They both said in unison. 

Grace showed up at Emily’s a little late to ensure she wasn’t stuck making small talk or awkwardly staring at Jacob from across the kitchen table. The house was lit up with laughter and light booming from the open door. Grace hesitated on the porch step. 

In anticipation for completely bolting off this evening to Port Angeles, she had dressed a little better than she had in months—she wore a thin blue dress dotted with white flowers that clung to her body and was just a tad short. She wore a black leather jacket over it with brown boots that sported a short heel. She had even done her hair and hoped that if Jacob was here that he wouldn’t think she dressed up for him. Her lip curled at the thought and then she pivoted—fuck it, let him think whatever he wanted. 

She jogged the rest of the way up the steps, stomping on the rainsoaked wood to help announce her presence and walked through the door with a smile. Her pack was crowded around the kitchen table joking and pushing each in the shoulder. Jared spotted her first. 

“Heeeey! You made it. Bout time!” This resulted in a cry and holler coming from around the table to her appearance. Even Paul was in high spirits. Sitting just outside the tight ring of the table, on a high stool with his shaggy hair falling around his face was Jacob. Grace swallowed hard and gave him a curt nod. His eyes narrowed instantly at her, anger flooding his face,  and then Sam came out, slapping him on the back and snapping him out of it. 

“Good! You’re here.” He looked around the table and a hush fell. “The purpose for this gathering is to come back together as a pack. Jacob’s home. That means that whatever occurred in the past, we should leave it there. We’ve been making great progress and I want that to continue. That will only happen if everyone cooperates,” his eyes moved from each member of the pack, his hand gripped tightly on Jacob’s shoulder before finally resting his eyes on Grace. She only shrunk internally. Outwardly, hands still in her jacket pockets, she nodded. 

“Got it,” she said. She glanced for just a second at Paul who had his eyes trained on Sam, suspicious. 

“So! Let’s get it all out in the open now and move on. Rip it off like a bandaid so the healing can begin,” he slapped his hands together and Jacob looked shocked for a minute. Sam motioned for him to proceed but he opened and closed his mouth as if he was unprepared. Grace, outwardly looking cool as a cucumber, was screaming on the inside. 

“I’ll start!” Quil raised his hand and then stood up. Sam gave him a surprised look and Leah chuckled. “Jake man, it sucked that you took off like that for so long. I get why you did it but you left us in the lurch and we were all really worried. Don’t uuuhhh,” he paused looking around at the stunned pack members, some wore incredulous grins, “Don’t do that again. Right guys?” 

There was a small echo of consent from the group. 

“Good!” Sam said, looking back to Jake, but Jake’s eyes were on Grace again. She could practically feel the heat coming off of him. 

“I didn’t come back for you,” he said. Grace swallowed and nodded. Stay composed. Stay here. She thought.

Paul scoffed and Jacob’s eyes turned black looking at him. “You have something to say?” Paul was shaking his head laughing a little. Grace tensed now. 

“Give it a rest dude. We can all see right through that,” he challenged. Jacob was on his feet and Sam put a hand to his chest to steady him. Grace took a step forward but Seth touched her arm. 

“What you did was absolute shit. Both of you! And if I had it my way, I’d have nothing to do with either of you ever again!” He shouted. 

“So leave! We were doing just fine without you!” Paul was on his feet, all anger with Jared and Quil blocking him. Though Paul had told him to leave, it felt like anything else but that. Grace realized what he was doing—he was drawing Jacob out, letting him get angry so that he could say what he needed to say. A cathartic release.

“You KNEW what she meant to me and you still did it anyway!” Jacob yelled back bucking against Sam now his whole body shaking. His eyes glistened with what Grace thought might be tears, but the rage was unmistakable in his body language.

“It was a MISTAKE. And it’s not always about you Black!” he boomed back. “I apologized. She apologized. There’s nothing we can do to change what happened, but putting her through this unending painfest isn’t going to work out like you think it is.” 

“Oh yeah? And why’s that? Because you’re still defending her? Still fucking her too I bet.” Jacob spat. Paul lunged, pusing past Quil and Jared and connecting his fist to Jacob’s face. A sickening crunch sounded and Jacob rocketed back, the stool behind him was reduced to splinters. Sam jumped in front of Paul demanding that he calm down as he shook violently. Jacob was holding his nose which was gushing with blood but nobody moved to help him.

Grace had never seen such blind rage come from Jacob. Paul? Sure. But Jake. Sweet, kind, benevolent Jacob that was like a walking sun never lost it like this. Seth was up and standing next to Grace now, his hand still on her arm. Embry hadn’t moved from his spot, and Leah was rocking back in her chair clearly enjoying the show. 

“If you think you deserved her before, you definitely don’t deserve her now. She made a mistake. We both did, but that doesn’t mean that you get to treat her like shit for the rest of her life. That’s not what you want, I know it’s not,” Paul spat. “We’re pack, we won’t let you. Let it go and come back.”

He shook Sam off to show he was okay and reached his hand out to help Jacob off the ground. Jake gave him a confused look and then took his hand, still holding his now healed nose. Jake shoved him in the shoulder and Paul let out a barking laugh. It wasn’t reconciliation, but it was close. 

Grace was frozen to the spot still. Jacob joined around the table, not meeting Grace’s eyes, intent on at least ignoring her for the rest of his life if he wasn’t allowed to hate her. Seth motioned for Grace to sit down in his chair and she took it, trying to hide how much her body was shaking. 

At the end of their dinner they all spilled out into the cool air. As Grace walked down the porch steps after them, she heard Jacob call out to her. She turned, sucking in a deep breath and hovering on the bottom step looking up at him. He wouldn’t risk coming too close to her, the pull was too strong. 

“I haven’t forgiven you.” He said simply. Grace nodded. 

“I know.” 

“And I don’t want to be your friend.” He continued. 

“Got it.” she said, her voice aching. “You’re allowed to stay mad as long as you want.” 

“Ready?” Quil was behind her, eager to get going, and Leah was straightening the newly adorned sequined top on her shoulders.

“But I don’t have to sit and watch,” Grace concluded with a small smile, an olive branch. “Ready.” She turned to Quil and looped arms with Leah as they skipped off toward Embry’s car. Jacob stood a little stunned on the porch and his face turned down into a frown before he phased and took off into the forest at full speed, letting his animal instincts take over and smashing into Paul’s shoulder as they took on rounds. 

Port Angeles. Paul shared with Jacob. He briefly showed an image of the divey dance club they were headed to and with a laugh said, You’re welcome to go after her if you want. 

Not a chance. Jacob growled running faster into the night letting the cool air pull through his fur and set him free. 

Okay so maybe going out two nights in a row wasn’t such a great idea. Grace woke with another groan, experiencing a serious bout of deja vu. The sun sprinkled in through the gauzy white curtains and she took a deep breath assessing the level of pain she was sure to be in. Her limbs felt battered and her head was swimming. She had no idea how or when she got home last night which was never a good sign. 

She stretched her arms out and heard a grumbled sigh coming from her left. Her eyes shot to the apparent sleeping form next to her. 

“Oh god,” she whispered. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Had she brought someone home last night!? She couldn’t remember much, just blue flashing lights on a crowded dance floor, a hand pulling her into a bathroom stall, but that was it. If the pack found out, she’d never live it down.

She leaned up on her elbows. She was fully clothed so that was a good sign. She kicked off her boots and pulled back the bedsheet to see who laid beneath. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw the familiar pack tattoo on the forearm of the quietly sleeping form. She never let anyone sleep in her bed with her, why would she do this?! 

As her eyes moved up the arm of the sleeping body, her gaze connected to softly cropped hair and smooth, peaceful face of Leah. Grace breathed a sigh of relief and flopped back on the bed. That was close. 

She slowly changed out of her blue dress from the night before and pulled on some oversized grey sweats and a black t-shirt that was stocked for a pack member and stumbled down the steps. The sound of sizzling was coming from her kitchen and she yawned, assuming it was Quil or Embry. But as she landed on the bottom step, she saw Quil on the floor and Embry sprawled across the couch with a blankety haphazardly strewn across his body. Confused, Grace turned her head toward the kitchen to see none other than Jacob Black, working away at her kitchen stove and prepping breakfast. 

He looked just as gorgeous as ever, loose strands of hair falling in front of his face, the rest tied in a bun. He was wearing a light blue shirt that stood out beautifully against his russet skin, light scars scraped down his right forearm from the incident, and his normal blue cut off jean shorts. 

“Hey,” Grace croaked a little embarrassed. 

He glanced at her quickly and said with little to no humor in his voice, “You look like shit.” 

“Thanks.” she said, still glued to the spot, “Why are you here?” The sun was suddenly glaring in Grace’s eyes and she put a hand up over them. 

“Came to check and make sure you all were okay after your little misadventure,” he said, a tone of disappointment clear in his voice. 

“What are you talking about?” she rubbed her eyes and moved toward Quil on the floor who was clearly drooling. She slumped down and leaned her head against the back of the couch on Embry’s arm. 

“Pretty sure you got dosed, there’s no way in the world you guys could afford enough alcohol to get that trashed.” He murmured, scraping a load of crisped hashbrowns onto a plate. 

“Ugggh,” Grace groaned, reaching down to Quil and putting a hand on the back of his neck trying to pull out some of the sick that she felt stirring in his body. 

Jacob scoffed. 

“I didn’t realize roofies made you feel like you got hit by a bus,” Grace said quietly reaching her other hand behind her to place on Embry’s back to do the same for him. 

“You’re probably the only one that feels like that. In your drunken glory, you decided to recast everyone back to the rez instead of, oh I don’t know, taking a cab back? You recast three people, blasted out of your mind, appeared too close to the cliff edge, slipped, and hit some rocks on your way down to the water.” He shook his head and cursed under his breath. “Absolutely idiotic, you could have died.” 

“Thank you, Jacob, I get it.” Grace said as the dizziness caused her vision to go blurry.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you. They kind of deserve to feel the after effects of their mistakes if you ask me.” He said setting some food down on the kitchen table. 

“Good thing I wasn’t asking you,” Grace grumbled uncomfortably. Jacob came over, chewing a piece of toast and shook Embry’s shoulder, ignoring Grace’s quip. “Em, wake up man, breakfast.” Embry mumbled something very close to ‘okay’ and promptly fell back asleep. When Jake came around to pat Quil on the face, he received a very mumbled and slurred, “Fuck off, Jake” from Quil. Grace let out a laugh and then flinched at the blinding pain swimming in her head now as she tried to relieve some of Quil and Embry’s hangover on top of her own. 

“More for me.” Jake said resigned and walked to the kitchen table to dig in. 

“Grum...py,” Embry muffled, his face pressed against the couch cushions. After a few minutes of groaning, Embry pulled his body up, grabbing Grace’s hand and pressing it to his cheek for a few extra seconds before stumbling to the table and plopping down next to Jake. 

Quil also was able to pull his body up and stayed seated next to Grace as she continued holding onto and gently rubbing his neck. Leah nearly fell down the stairs, catching herself on the railing and letting out a laugh. Quil opened his eyes and looked wide eyed at Leah. 

“You let her sleep in your bed?!” Grace laughed, her eyes closed now. “Hot,” he murmured. 

“Shut up, Quil,” Leah grumbled making her way to the table. Quil took Grace’s hand off of his neck and said:

“Come on, breakfast!” He was clearly feeling a little better. 

“Gonna sit for a bit,” Grace slurred. Quil patted her head and dug in with his pack mates as Grace leaned her head back on the couch. She only faintly heard what they were saying as she faded in and out of sleep, but she thought the jist of it was catching Jacob up on what they found on rounds these past three months. 

Grace woke up, head still slung back on the couch sometime later and felt her mouth was exceptionally dry. She stumbled to her feet and earned the stares of the group at the kitchen table. Her head was pounding and she felt her heartbeat racing as she walked slowly toward the foot of the stairs. 

“She’s gonna go puke in the shower again I bet,” Quil said. 

“Shut–” Grace muttered as she put her first foot on the staircase and inhaled a deep breath. “Ookay.” She only got about four stairs up before she stumbled and came crashing down, but a hand caught her around the waist before she fell face first into the wooden staircase. 

“Jesus Grace,” Jacob muttered, pulling her to her feet. 

“Don’t touch me,” she slurred, slapping his hand away from her. “I go’this.” Jake let go of her but slowly followed her as she made her way up the steps, hands outstretched to catch her if she fell again. Once she made it into her bedroom and into her bathroom, Jacob stood awkwardly in her room not sure what to do. She turned the water on to the shower and started pulling off her sweats. 

“You’re not going to fall and smack your head in the shower, right?” Jacob asked, annoyed this time. 

“Go’way Jacob,” she said before peeling off her shirt now and stepping into the steam. Grace lost track of time, but the next time she felt herself coming to she was on the floor with her robe draped over her. The cool tile was a relief on her cheek and as she picked her head up and looked around, she realized she was next to the toilet. She stayed there dazed for a minute. The sun was setting and she felt immensely better. There was a glass filled with water placed next to her and she drank it down happily. Outside the door, Grace heard footsteps approaching. 

The door swung open to reveal Leah, in her tattered sundress that she used to cover up after phasing. 

“You’re alive.” 

“I am?” Grace questioned rubbing her hand across her forward. Leah crossed the bathroom floor and grabbed a bottle of aspirin from the medicine cabinet and dumped some in her hand to give to Grace. 

“Apparently. You still kind of look like shit.” Leah grimaced, squatting down with a cold wash rag and placing it against her face. 

“Roofies,” Grace said quietly. “Hey why aren’t you...you know?”

“Flat on my ass?” Leah clarified with a smile. 

“Yeah, I don’t remember giving you the whoosh,” Grace held up her hand as if to touch her but missed. 

“Unfortunately, that’s not the first time I’ve been dosed. Must have built up a tolerance? Or just too stubborn,” Leah said with a laugh. 

“That’s fucked up,” Grace whined. “Help me up.” She reached out for Leah’s hands as she helped her pull her up off the floor. 

“You good?” Leah said. She wasn’t big into touching, but she was usually a little more open around Grace. Still, Grace could tell the touching made her uncomfortable. 

“Good.” Grace said walking out of the bathroom and into her bedroom. 

“There’s some leftovers downstairs. I got to a shift, but Seth is going to swing by and check on you in a few hours, okay?” 

Grace waved her away as she pulled clothes down from her closet. She inwardly vowed to take a pause on the going out and drinking for awhile to get her head on straight. Especially since Jacob was back. 

She paused and then let out an embarrassed groan at her recollection of the events earlier that day. His hand catching her around the waist, the searing warmth causing her to jerk from a phantom pain. His introduction back into Grace’s life presented her as much of a mess as when he left. 

She vowed to do better. For herself mostly, but also to show Jake that she was okay. Really, she was okay. Maybe. 

Fuck. 

[lombredanslaeu]

𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒖𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒄𝒖𝒕 | l.taeyong

plot: a letter for lee taeyong - the love of your life and the tear in your heart.

genre: angst, fluff

warning: messy writing lol, explicit scene

word count: 2401

proofread: no

Dear Lee Taeyong,

I hope this letter finds you well. I’m not sure if I could ever gain the courage or the chance to say what I have to say to you. There are a lot of things I’m not sure about; one of which is how the universe crossed our paths. Was it just for the heaven’s comedy relief or was it because we were meant to find one another? I’m not sure which one I’ll believe. Nevertheless, I’m happy that day happened even if it’s cringy to look back at right now.

The university atrium was crowded with booths and students. Today was the first day of the organization recruitment week. Your brother told you about the joys of meeting new people by joining organizations that sparks your interest. So, you did not waste a second going to the busy fair.

You were currently lining up for the photography organization. To your dismay, there aren’t actually a lot of organizations that suits your interest. You enjoy taking photos and looking at them so you just opt for the photography org.

You were lost in your own world when a tap on your shoulder cut your reverie.

“Hey, I’m sorry to bother,” The man said. He was taller than you, his features were smooth & pristine almost like a Disney character. He also sported a pink shade on his hair. “Can I borrow your pen? I’m really rushing to get a slot on the performing arts org.”

You looked down at the pen that placed on the small pocket of your blouse. You weren’t in a hurry but he was. Being the kind person you are, you gave it to him.

“Sure, here.” You placed the pen on his hand.

He muttered a series of “thank you”’s before scurrying off to the really busy performing arts line.

You went back to your own reverie. When you reached the front table, your hand went to the small pocket of your blouse. Your fingertips failed to feel the slim pen and you mentally groaned. Now, you were the one who’s in need of a pen. You looked back at the distant performing arts booth but failed to spot the pink-haired duded who borrowed your pen.

You never saw him again for the next two weeks; he never crossed your mind anyway. That was until a shadow towered over you while you sat in seclusion at the back of the lecture hall.

“I’m sorry for running away with your pain.” The pink-hair dude spoke above you. The vibrant hue on his head faded into a soft, bubblegum pink. That shade suits him better. “I saw you looking around for me when it was your turn to fill out the registration sheet.”

With that, he placed a new pen on your desk. It was wrapped with a small ribbon.

“I was supposed to return it to you but I saw you getting annoyed and I felt so bad.” He explained further.

You chuckled at his gesture. Sure, that event annoyed you back then but now, it just became a funny memory.

“It’s no problem.” You said. “Thank you-”

“Taeyong.” He continued.

There’s so many things to love about you, Yongie. I could list all the things I adore about you. From the way you’re always supportive of the people around you to the way your eyes shine whenever you perform in the university auditorium and you suddenly spot your friends in the crowd. I could go on and on but this letter would probably be ten pages long and I only have so much ink left in this pen. Yes, the same pen you gave me the second time we met. I never used it until today. It held so much sentimental value that if I were to merely use it on a quiz or lecture notes, I would immediately feel guilty. Actually, I retract that statement. I used it one time to fill out the application form for the first job I’m applying to. I was surprised that it still works. I would have thought that the ink has dried out already; after all, it’s been hidden somewhere on my desk until the day I went to that job interview.

You don’t have much time left. Your body clock got used to sleeping at an ungodly hour and waking up during the middle of the day. Your interview starts at 8:20 AM and it was already 7:30 AM. You thanked yourself for showering the night before as you don’t need to do much.

You hurriedly packed your necessities. You always bring a pen with you whenever you go; and with that, you grabbed a random pen sitting on your pen holder.

For some miracle, you made it before 8:20 AM. The secretary gave out a form for you to fill out. You reached for the pen inside your purse. The small jewel decoration at the top of the cap was reminiscent of the smile of the person who gave the pen to you. It was as if this was Taeyong’s way of saying good luck. Whenever you went, he was always there with you.

But as there were many things to love, there were also many things to hate. I feel like we are now in the situation where I’m finally free to talk about these things to you. To be frank with you, we had all the reasons and chances to communicate and talk about these problems. The thing is: we never did. Maybe it was because we came to the terms that we were falling apart. I don’t blame you. I, too, was scared of what would result if we ever had that conversation. To say that I don’t regret not pushing myself to fix everything would be an understatement. I regret everything, Taeyong. I regret not talking to you and making you suffer. I regret ever putting you into that light. However, I cannot help but point the blame to our situation that night. You weren’t talking either and I felt like I shouldn’t exert effort into someone who clearly does not want to fight with me. Was that how you felt that night? No, wait. Don’t answer that. It would crush me to know that it was only me who refused to accept that I was wrong.

You waited for hours. Normally, Taeyong would be the one to initiate a resolution, to seek a middle ground between the two of you. The clock was ticking towards midnight. In ten minutes, the eerie silence between the two of you would turn five hours old. The words you threw at one another bounced back and forth in your head, as if the walls of your brain were the same walls of your shared apartment.

“You never listen to what I have to say!”

“I don’t need to listen when I already saw it with my two eyes!”

“Are you hearing yourself?”

“Stop trying to make it seem like this is my fault.”

“You’re blowing this all out of proportion, of course it’s your fault!”

Before, you and Taeyong were magic. Right now, nothing was sparking aside from the raging frustration between the two of you. It’s been four years of you and him being lovers. Have you outgrown each other this quickly? Why did the fire burn out so quickly and who turned a blind eye on it?

“We’re not gonna fix anything if we just ignore each other.” You spoke. It was the morning after the fight. While you found yourself asleep on the bed, you found Taeyong asleep on the couch. You felt bad, his height is no match for the space the couch could offer. The urge to fix everything was demanding to be felt so here you are, in front of the office he works at.

“You don’t listen to me so what’s the point?” He replied, the look of impatience washing over his face.

“I didn’t come here to form another fight, Taeyong.” You said in a exasperated voice. Taeyong could right through you. You wanted to fix what happened last night. Along with that came a tinge of fear in his heart. He’s scared that your proposition in fixing everything was to take a break or worse, break up. He doesn’t want that.

“Then, you shouldn’t have came here at all.”

What would you do when your ex suddenly calls you at 3:00 AM on a Saturday asking to hold you once more? You weren’t drunk so I believed everything that you said. That was my mistake. I failed to realize that alcohol isn’t the only thing that could make you do things out of your control. Loneliness is a dangerous drug as well. I have to admit that I slept with you not because I missed you but because I was afraid I would never feel loved again. Looking back now, I definitely came back running because I love you. Not because I miss you, but because I was pathetically in love with you and I was scared I don’t know how to stop it. I was willing to swallow my pride, to swallow everything my mother taught me about loving myself because I wanted to feel you with me again.

His hands roamed around your naked torso. Taeyong’s hand were different from the other boys who have touched you before. His lips fluttering kisses all over your neck. For a moment, it felt like you were his and he was yours again; even though the current circumstances tells you otherwise. Your shirt was the first to go, followed by your bra.

You knew the implications of your actions. But all rationality seemed to evacuate from your system the minute his cock bottomed out inside of you. Each hard thrusts signifies his longing and his need to be yours again. Although he can never say these things out loud, he sure did rely them on his actions. You felt like the universe is about to explode inside of you and finally, when it cracks, you get to see a slice of heaven. Taeyong leaned down to kiss your quivering lips, his breathing as deep as his thrusts.

“I bet no one could ever fuck you like this.” He spoke above you, eyes as dark as the sins he was doing to your body.

But I’m over all of it now. I’m over being helplessly in love with you and doing nothing to stop myself from running back to you all the time. I’m done throwing myself under the fire of missing you each time our favorite song plays on shuffle. I’m done worrying about doing things we used to do together, I’m done being afraid if those things will trigger a memory of you. We had grown up over the years and so does how I feel about you. The minute I realized I don’t want to feel okay without you is the minute I realized all the mistakes that we could have easily corrected but never did.

You’re not accepting this fate. You refuse to accept a life that would be spent without Taeyong by your side. There are a lot of things you’re not sure about except for one thing - you would conquer all the odds just to make sure it was him you’re spending the rest of your life with. You just don’t know how and when to make him realize that you’re always down for him.

Him, on the other hand, was racing through traffic to get to where you are. Today was your birthday - your first birthday without him to be exact. All it took was one look at the calendar for Taeyong to realize that he shouldn’t be afraid of mending things with you. Because even if the situation gets rough, you would always be by his side. He mentally cursed himself for ever being scared of talking shit out.

But when he saw you celebrating with your friends and a smile too beautiful it could move a thousand seas, he wonders if he was too late.

Taeyong, you taught me how to be mature. You taught me how to be forgiving even if the people around me aren’t. Most importantly, you taught me how to love fully, madly, and truly. And for that, I cannot thank you enough. I cannot thank you enough for showing me that love isn’t always beautiful but it is always kind. Your love keeps no records of wrongs and I don’t think a love like that could ever exist within anyone else. Thank you for borrowing my pen during the college fair. If I could turn back time and make everything easy for us, I would. You have no idea how much I want to that. But, alas, I can’t. So for now, we just have to live with the burned pages of our past. It is up to you if you want to bury at the back of your mind or if you want to paste them all over your walls. I’m sorry for the pain I gave you - please never forget that it was the last thing I could ever want to give you.

For the love that I will always rejoice upon even in my last living hours, I sincerely thank you.

See you tomorrow at the altar.

 Yours until the sun no longer shines,

Y/N.

[mythrilhusk]

Korosensei Never Dies - Chapter 6

Words - 1967 Ao3 Version Chapter 5 (last) Chapter 7 (Next)

AN: Just wanted to note (although it’s already in tags) that there are no ships in this story. The characters may be affectionate with each other, but it’s all platonic. 

====

Exams are the worst part of school, but the end of the first term approaches fast. Tommy determines he will not fail. Philza has promised to teach them how to fight, and by the ever-loving stars, Tommy wants to show off his mad skillz. 

He's so intent on getting fighting lessons that he's dragged his friends into group study sessions. Wilbur insists on leading said sessions, and somehow the schoolwork gets entwined with role-playing battles with fiercesome monsters. 

"The answer is forty-two!! I pull out a bazooka and blast everything to smithereens!" Tubbo cackles. "Nothing shall stand in the way of world domination." 

"Tubbo," Wilbur sighs for the fortieth time. "That would kill all of your teammates." 

"Do I care?" Tubbo grins innocently. "Less competition, big man!" 

"I lay down and die." Ranboo says drily, leaning against the wall with his arm around Tubbo's shoulders. 

"Not you, Ranboo, you're going to be my puppet queen. Every world-dominating super-villain needs a puppet queen." Tubbo says, quite matter-of-fact.

Tommy scrawls messily on his workbook, determined to complete the next answer first and get a turn. "Ha! Fucking x equals twenty-nine!" He crows. "I shoot my nets at Tubbo and capture him!!" 

"Stand-off." Wilbur says with a grin. "Who wrote Frankenstein?" 

"Some woman with a boring name." Tommy retorts. 

"Anne Rice!" Tubbo cries. 

"Tommy, you got the closer answer. It was Mary Shelley." 

"Alright, I win, and I say 'Hahaha, you fucking imbecile, you are no match for me!' and then I drag them to jail." 

"I completed my worksheet, Wilbur." Eret pipes up. Wilbur takes it, then nods for Eret to complete his bonus action. "I stab Tommy and release Tubbo, saying, 'The world is yours for the taking, but allow me to oversee a portion of it.' and then I kneel and plant my sword in the dust." 

"Oh! Oh!" Tubbo waves his worksheet in the air. "Ranboo, stab him for me!" 

"As you wish." Ranboo sighs with a wicked grin. Eret protests weakly in the background. 

"Ranboo, you need to answer a question correctly, first." Wilbur steeples his fingers. "Or else there will be penalties." 

"I, uh, I think I got this one correct." Ranboo shows his study sheet to Wilbur, who nods curtly. 

"Fine, go ahead." 

Ranboo turns to Eret and says in a dark tone, "You betrayed your friend. I can't trust you, Eret." Then he turns to Wilbur, "I run him through with my dagger." 

"Eret, you're now a ghost." Wilbur shuffles through his game notes. 

"Aw, man. Can I haunt anyone?" 

"Yes."

"I haunt Ranboo to remind him of his crimes." 

"Aw, dang, another voice." Ranboo groans playfully. 

"Whaddya mean, another??" Tubbo cries. "Am I being replaced, Ranboo??" 

"You- you are the voice." Ranboo laughs nervously. "Even when you're dead, I'll still hear you, shouting at me to not kill the bees." 

"You better not. I worked hard to cultivate our apiary." 

"I won't, I won't." 

Tommy finishes his worksheet, ignoring the chatter of the others. "Ha!" He turns it into a paper plane and throws it to Wilbur. "I want twelve actions now!" 

"Okay, Tommy." Wilbur replies with a sly smile. The others protest, but Tommy has Wilbur wrapped around his little finger, so they won't be winning this battle. 

"But! I want to split them up between us, because I'm a fucking nice person who loves women." 

"Go ahead." 

"My first action as King de facto of the world is to declare peace between the Moon and Mars." 

"Wait, wait, you're king?? Eret, you didn't even kill him properly!!" Tubbo throws up his hands. "Ranboo, kill Tommy for me." 

"Hypothetically, what if I didn't?" 

"Ranboo. Are you betraying me??" 

"No, no, I said hypothetically." 

"Then, hypothetically, I would nuke your entire homeland and make you watch as I killed your family before your very eyes." 

"Oh! Oh, no." 

"And then I would torture you to death." 

"Oh, man. That would not be good." 

"So are you going to betray me?" 

"Apparently not." 

"Aw, man. I wanted to torture somebody." Tubbo sighs. 

Ranboo gives Tommy a look that says 'help me'. 

"You both lost your turns for talking too long." Wilbur decides. "Tommy and Eret, you both have an extra turn." 

"I turn corporeal using necromancy, and I use Tubbo's soul as the energy source, draining him of life." Eret says, his cheerful eyes belying his dark tone. 

"No! Ranboo, avenge meeeee!!" Tubbo cries melodramatically to the heavens. 

"Oh no! I'll avenge you!!" 

"I kill Ranboo." Tommy cackles at the horrified look on Ranboo's face. 

"Oh, that's not good." 

"How do you kill him, Tommy?" Wilbur asks. 

"I stab the bastard through the fucking eyes." 

"Oh. Man. That sounds painful." Ranboo winces.

"It is. You're screaming like a fucking bitch." 

"Am I? Oh dang, that's not fun. Am I a ghost now?" 

"Ghostboo." Tubbo laughs. "You're now Ghostboo." 

"You're Toast, you don't get to mock my name." 

Tommy frowns. "What's my ghost name?"

"Ghommy." Ranboo laughs. "Eret is Gheret." 

"Tommy, you think we're ready for the exams?" Wilbur gathers the papers scattered across the floor.  

"Fuck yeah, we are. We'll crush those bastards to dust. We'll get the highest grades of anybody in the entire school!"

++++

"What do you mean, you can't transfer me?? My grades are the worst they've ever been in years!!" Jack cries, stomping his foot on the polished wood floor of the principal's office. 

"I'm sorry, duckie, but I can't let anyone transfer between classes this year." Puffy-- rumored to be a pirate in a past life and therefore always called Captain-- frowns as she flicks through Jack's portfolio. "Why did you want to be transferred, anyway?" 

"No reason." Jack grumbles, then stomps out of the office, slamming the door behind himself. 

"How'd it go?" Niki hops down from one of the pillars. 

"Terribly. Those bastards in 3-E must've told Captain Puffy to not let anyone in. They're probably planning to take over the world now, using Techno as bait!" Jack cries, his eyes burning with furious tears. 

"That's awful!" Niki wails. "What will we do?" 

"What do heroes do to villains? We bomb them." 

"Bomb them?" 

"I don't know how yet." Jack grins, filled with burning rage. "But we'll think of something." 

"I know a man." Niki says decisively. "He'll get us supplies. If they really are planning to end the world, we need to stop them." 

++++

Exams roll around, and 3-E joins the the main school buildings for the tests. Quackity and Sapnap both leap on and hug Karl Jacobs. Tommy strides through the testing auditorium like he owns the place, with Wilbur glaring at everyone and Tubbo whetting his dagger with a placid smile. 

Fundy watches the chaos from the sidelines, chewing on caramel taffy and bubblegum at the same time. He doesn't recognize the quiet boy huddled in a corner and writing. Before he can creep over and look at the boy's words, Eret accosts him. "Hey, man." 

"Oh, hey!" Fundy grins and hugs his friend. "What've you been up to?" 

"Oh, just trying to stop the world from ending and make a profit in the process, you know, the usual." 

"Right, right. What's up with that, anyway? This guy, Technoblade? He must be really hard to kill if nobody's done it yet." 

"We have till the year ends." Eret says gravely. 

"Right. But why hasn't anybody, I don't know, tried to get in on the action?" 

"The government is supposed to be keeping his location a secret." Eret adjusts his sunglasses. 

"Weird." Fundy pops a bubble between his lips. 

"Indeed. I know there must be a weakness. But I'm not sure what it is."

"Maybe it's something like technical immortality! Maybe he can only be killed if he lets it happen!" Fundy theorizes, chewing more intensely. 

Eret grimaces. "Perhaps. Threatening his friend, Philza, directly is out of the question. But perhaps we can get the kill switch from the president." 

"Woah, woah, back up!" Fundy laughs. "There's already a kill switch in his friend and the prezz hasn't thought to use that??" 

"Well, he's a hostage, but- oh." 

"Exactly!! If the prezz actually wanted him dead, all they'd have to do is threaten to kill this Philza dude if Techno doesn't let himself be killed!" Fundy blows another bubble and pops it with his teeth. "Damn, I'm good." 

"That's assuming Technoblade would die if he allowed it. What if he can't?" Eret muses. 

"He has to have some weakness. How was he even created??" 

"I- I don't know." 

"The only way a mutant like that could be created is through Human intervention, aka a laboratory and scientists!!" Fundy claps his hands together excitedly. "But why would scientists create a creature who can destroy the world?? Unless he can't, and this is all just a damn test." 

"Hmm." Eret doesn't sound convinced. 

"So, they're trying to develop immortality, and they're testing it on Technoblade-"

"Why him?" Eret asks. "And if it is a test, why here, with a bunch of students?"

"He got loose before the tests could be finalized, and they're trying to contain him again!" Fundy starts pacing. "He was a terrorist, yeah? I remember him in the news. The Acolyte." 

"Blood for the blood god." Eret reminisces, paling. "That's right." 

"He only ever went after important government figures! But, five years ago, he disappeared, and nobody ever heard from him again. Until now..." Fundy grins wildly. "This is amazing, I can't believe I get front row seats to a conspiracy!" 

"Wait." Eret groans. "He had a partner." 

"Oh! He did?" 

"Technoblade was the Acolyte. But his partner was the Angel. What if that was-" 

"Philza!!" Fundy cries. "Oh god, we have both of the most deadly international terrorists in my school!! Why couldn't I have worn better clothes??" 

"I don't think that should be our main concern." Eret steeples his fingers. "I think we should worry more about what they're planning to do." 

"I'm going to talk to Captain Puffy." Fundy decides. "Come with me?" 

"I'll pass. Good luck." 

"I've got the best luck in the world." Fundy crows and skips off. He glances back once, briefly, only to see Eret watching him with an unreadable expression. 

++++

Tipsy, Schlatt lounges on one of the pristine metal tables. In the background, HBomb sweeps up the shards of a broken whiskey bottle, the remnants of a drunken tantrum. 

"Heyyy." Schlatt greets the mercenary waiting in the doorway. "Come on in." 

"How much do I get paid for my trouble?" The mercenary asks, slouching in a too-large purple hoodie and baggy pants. 

"Fifteen billion, take it or leave it." Schlatt grins. 

"I'll take it. But this is the last time." 

"Sure, honey." 

"How'd you lose him again?" 

"Bitch killed half my fucking scientists." Schlatt shrugs genially, hiding his irritation. "But we've got a neutralizing agent, now." He tosses a capsule to the mercenary, who catches it and inspects it. "Inject that and he'll be as harmless as a two-ton hippo." 

"That's hardly what I'd call harmless." 

"Eh, semantics. He won't be immortal." 

"Hmm." The mercenary pockets the neutralizer. "I'll do it. But you'd better pay me exactly what you promised, or he dies." 

"C'mon, darling, what do you take me for? A scam artist?? Nah, that's not my fucking style. Return him safe and sound, and everything will be just fine." Schlatt lights a cigar, takes a deep drag, then lets it all out in a slow plume. "Do as I say and nobody gets hurt." 

++++

Eret opens his buzzing phone and answers, "Hey." 

"Crocodiles don't cry often." The familiar voice says coldly into their ear. 

"Crocodile tears are worthless." Eret replies. 

Purpled laughs on the other end. "What do you say, partner? Ready to make some dough?" 

Eret grins, baring her teeth. "Always." 

Chapter 7 (Next)

[shebeafancyflapjack]

First Strike

One last mini-fic before it’s back to work for me. Inspired by something @cecret-with-c said months ago about if Chris revealing himself had been more intense. It’s been a while since I wrote some whump as well.

What if Chris had done more than punch Eleanor in the face? (Sort of a sequel to Let Me In).

Once again, Michael is grateful that he was given a human suit with such long legs to help him sprint in such far strides. He’s had to do more running than he ever expected to do in the past couple of years and the only time he was ever ‘caught’ was when he willingly gave himself up, not that he counts that time as a loss.

He races across the town, ignoring the heads of the Janet babies who turn in his direction out of vague, programmed curiosity, making his way towards the most dull-looking beige bungalow on the corner. It’s the house of the grandmother no kid ever wanted to visit because all she did was sit in her armchair and forbid laughter while she ranted about the noisy ‘illegals’ living next door.

The door is closed. From the outside, there’s no obvious sign of distress. 

And of course, every resident’s home is made to be sound-proof in the interest of privacy (a feature Tahani pushed on when Janet revealed the ‘surveillance’ feature of Michael’s previous experiment. They weren’t happy about that). It explains why the others are all going about town as normal despite being close enough to hear any sort of ruckus.

He braces himself before rushing forward, finding the door unlocked as he turns the handle.

“Eleanor?” He calls, immediately. 

What awaits him inside is as bad as he predicted, furniture turned aside, a few smashed vases and torn, hideous flowery wallpaper. But at least nothing is on fire. Michael feels that’s always a plus to be counted in most situations.

He stumbles in, almost tripping over the leg of an upturned side-table. 

“Shirt...Eleanor?!” Michael tries again, looking down the hall, the house seeming like a small bull just charged through the place.

“I’m here.”

He follows the dejected voice to the living room, finding her sat on the one half that remains of broken sofa. The tiny bit of relief he feels at first to see her in once piece shatters when she raises her head up from her hands.

An uneven pattern of swollen bruises decorate her face, tearful eyes shining between the puffy lids, blood still dripping from a cut on her lip and to the side of her left eyebrow. There’s marks on her throat, her hands and where her jacket has been torn on her arm as well.

One would think Michael had seen enough beaten up humans in his existence for it to no longer affect him, but the sight of Eleanor in this state cuts deep.

“Shirt...”

She braves the smallest smile; “You should see the other guy.” She then winces, possibly regretting speaking.

“Linda?!” He still can’t believe it. It doesn’t make sense!

He’d been leaving his office to head over to Tahani’s when he’d bumped into a furious Janet, frog-marching a pissed off looking Linda in her grip. Before Michael could ask what the fork she was doing, Janet simply ordered him to get over to Linda’s house, for no other reason than ‘Eleanor is there’. He didn’t need more than that.

It was only after he’d left he smelled the blood on Linda’s hands. Eleanor’s blood. The same that is sprinkled around the room in its destruction and still leaking from her fresh wounds.

“Turns out Linda’s not as boring as we thought.” Eleanor scoffs, raising one of her blackened hands and cringing in further pain; “Fork...”

He puts aside the issue of Linda for a moment as he goes to kneel in front of her.

“Here...” He gently takes her wrists, cradling what looks to be an almost crushed set of fingers, delicately; “It’s okay...”

He snaps his fingers.

Eleanor hisses again, in discomfort more than pain this time, as the bones reset and fuse, her cuts seal up and the bruising settles down, hopefully taking the pain away with it. She lets out a deep sigh, now simply looking pained with exhaustion. 

“Thanks, bud...” 

He stays kneeling before her, eyes full of concern.

“What happened?” He asks, carefully; “Why didn’t Janet do that?”

Eleanor shakes her head, “Y’know what? It’s crazy. I don’t even remember...I just came here, wanting to try again with Linda, see if I could have a talk and understand her...For a few minutes she was just quiet, sitting and sucking on her mints while I did all the talking...And then out of nowhere...she got up and...”

She clenches her fingers on her lap, clenching her jaw to the point Michael hears her teeth grind.

“Take your time.” He tells her; “What did she do?”

“Not she...He.” Eleanor smirks again, annoyed; “Suddenly Linda was speaking in a guy’s voice...Calling me an annoying little bench, raging at me about how he got so sick of having to ‘play nice’ around me, and put up with me, when all he wanted to do whenever I opened my mouth was...Well. You saw for yourself.”

Michael takes a breath. He saw the result. He dreads to imagine what actions the clearly-not-human took to leave Eleanor looking like that.

“I just kinda blacked out, I guess. At first it was almost funny...this little old woman picking her chair up and throwing it at the radio, that was kinda neat. Then he started throwing things at me and I wasn’t ready to get out the way. And then, when I tried to call for Janet...his hands were on me and...” 

It might be more terrifying than the scene he walked in on, to see Eleanor Shellstrop this shaken and struggling to form a sentence. 

He flips the coffee table back upright and slides it close so he can sit and take Eleanor’s healed hands in his. He cages them safely in his own, rubbing them warm.

She laughs again, tears spilling; “Fork, Michael....I dunno what’s wrong with me!”

“You just took ten rounds from a demon, no one is going to judge you for not being yourself.” At least, that’s what he’s assuming. If Linda isn’t a human then angel is also very improbable, which leaves one last option. 

“I’ve dealt with ashholes on Earth trying to cup a feel when I wasn’t interested and I had no trouble handling myself or knowing how to get help. But this...” She trembles in his grip; “I was so....frozen. Like I couldn’t do anything! It was only when I thought he was gonna throw me through the window, I managed to call for Janet. She did offer to fix...” Eleanor gestures to her face; “But I just told her to get that motherforker out and somewhere secure...And I asked for you.”

She...wanted him? That causes a selfish little ball of light to glow inside of him, that he was the first one she wanted, out of the others. 

Then he reminds himself that he’s the only one out of them with magic to heal.

“You said this guy talked about having to put up with you before?”

She nods; “Yeah, I can’t remember if he was in those memories I saw...He might have been at that bar in Canada, I don’t remember. Might be the concussion.”

“Ah...I think I know who Linda might be underneath. I...put you with a lot of demons who posed as your fake soul mate and...one of them kept coming to me with a lot of complaints by the end because he was sick of it. It was only because he had the most handsome skin suit out of them all, he claimed I was being objectifying.” Michael waves off that bit; “His name was Chris.”

If he was working for Shawn to infiltrate them, posing as one of the humans, did he agree to it purely for the chance to finally get to physically hurt Eleanor like he always begged Michael permission for? He feels sick at the idea that he contributed to this in a way. 

“Well I’m glad Chrissy got it out of his system, now I know how guys really feel after having to put up with me.” Eleanor lightly jokes.

“No guy who’s been close to you would ever dream of hurting you like this.” He says that, earnestly.

Even before he changed sides, no matter how crazy Eleanor drove him, no matter how often she foiled his designs, he never wished physical hurt on her. Just to make her miserable by pranks and mind games. Nothing like this.

This was the last thing he ever wanted.

“I’m so sorry, Eleanor.” He brings one of her hands to his lips, “This is my fault.”

“No it’s not, dude.” She says, tired; “I should’ve waited for you to be done at Tahani’s before we checked on Linda...We agreed to do these things together...”

Damn, will he and Janet have to chaperone all the humans now until this is over, in case something else threatens them?

“I’m just pissed that we didn’t see through Linda’s whole boring schtick. Tahani even said something was up with her but I ignored it.” She groans and rubs her head.

“Does it still hurt?” Michael frowns. It shouldn’t do, if he did it right.

Eleanor shakes her head; “No...Not from the fight, just...all of this. I was so sure I could handle it but this...I wasn’t ready for...”

“Blame me. You wouldn’t be in this position if I hadn’t had that break down at the start.” Michael tells her, feeling twisted with guilt.

“You didn’t make me choose to take this on, Michael. Stop it. None of this is on you...I’m just glad you’re here now.”

“Of course.” He gets to his feet and offers her his hand; “C’mon. I think we better call Shawn and tell him we’ve got something of his. And the Judge too while we’re at it.”

Eleanor looks up at him and gives a smile, then a nod, before taking his hand and standing up.

They’re half-way to the door when there’s a sudden tug on his hand.

Michael turns, frowning, seeing Eleanor standing motionless behind him. Her fingers are gripping his with such ferocity, his fingers would probably crunch if he was human, while her shoulders tremble, the smallest wince of panic on her face.

“What is it?” 

Her bottom lip wobbles, her eyes on the ajar pink door; “I...I dunno, I just...I d-don’t wanna go there yet.”

“Eleanor, he’s restrained. Janet’s way stronger than any demon, remember? And I wouldn’t let him touch you agai-.”

“I know that, dude, all right?!” She raises her volume, frustrated; “I don’t need your forking rational argument - I know that he’s all chained up and I’m safe and, whatever, because I’m a sexy badash who doesn’t get scared of anything so, fork you, this isn’t because I’m scared because I’m not! I’m fine! You’re the one who’s scared, I’m just protecting you, got it?! So lay the fork-.”

Once Michael has pulled her into his arms, she shuts up. It’s hard for her to keep babbling once her face is smothered into his chest. He waits for the resistance, to be shoved back, but nothing comes. Instead she stills, before her knees buckle, and her arms slip around his middle to cling to him. He places one hand on her neck and the other on the top of her head, stroking gently.

He just holds her tight for a moment, closing his eyes to stop his senses from seeing all the clear signs in the mess around them of what that deckhead did to her. How there’s a dent on the wall from where she was clearly thrown, or how that particular drop of blood stained on the carpet must have come from a blow to her mouth.

“Michael...Bit too tight, bud, you just fixed these ribs...” Eleanor sniffs against him.

“Sorry, sorry.” He loosens a little, still keeping her close, for as long as she clings to him. He pulls back after another minute to touch her face, searching for those green-blue eyes; “Listen. I know you, remember? No one’s aware of what a badash bench you are more than me, okay? But I also know you’re still human...And humans break, that’s what you guys do, it’s what makes you so amazing. That you can be so spunky even when you’re so stupidly fragile.”

And the more vulnerable they are, such as the small woman in his arms, the more courage they seem to hold to compensate. 

“I know how often you’ve wanted to break down when things got tough but you always had to put up a front to save face. You don’t have to do that with me, remember?” He whispers, softly, his thumb brushing a tear from her face; “You were there for me when I collapsed like a Tahani being told she has to fly economy. You trust me to be still be there for you if you do the same right?”

She sniffs again, nodding.

“It’s not just you, bud. God can’t be seen weeping, can she?” She japes.

With a wave of his hand, the blinds close and the door shuts.

“God can have some privacy. You’ve earned it.” Michael smiles at her and brings her back in again, letting her curl into him, one of her hands grabbing at his jacket; “Take as long as you need. I’m sure Janet can have fun with Chris while he waits for us. Make him sweat. We’ll go when you’re ready.”

Perhaps he’ll ask Janet to have some ‘time alone’ in a quiet room with Chris, even after they’ve called Shawn and the Judge. He might not be Chris’ boss anymore but he still feels the need to offer some ‘managerial feedback’. Which is a euphemism, by the way, he plans on eviscerating the forknut.

He hears the smallest hum.

“Thanks, bud. I dunno what I’d do without you.” Eleanor whispers, still shaky, clinging onto him; “We should’ve known they’d be too dumb to use something like a Michael-suit and instead they pull a stunt like this that gives them away. Forking idiots.”

He chuckles with her, resting his cheek on her head as he keeps her close.

“They’re no match for us. Say it with me...We’ve got this.”

“That’s my line.”

“Our line.” He jostles her a little, delighted by the sound of her laughter, more so when she smiles up at him, that fire slowly starting to ignite in her eyes again. 

Michael moves a strand of her hair away before planting a kiss on her forehead. Only fair, as she kissed his cheek last time, and it had felt...oddly pleasant. 

She sighs, “Fine. We’ve got this.”

He looks down at her, feeling ready to burst with admiration. There she is. Eleanor Shellstrop. Holding it together after taking a pummelling from an immortal being. 

Unstoppable, as always. 

Better luck next time, Shawn, old pal. But try to lay a finger his humans again and there will be Here to pay.

[shadowtongued]

long headcanon about the duality of love and the mahjarrat condition pertaining to it from his point of view. if you read all this babble i swear to god, i love you, i hope you have a good day. cw: sex addiction, child neglect, unhealthy coping, unrequited pains. reason for writing: hi i want to die bc of angst.

i think we all know even without playing medieval xp grind lore game, runescape, that sliske is old. very old. he tells us in endgame there's not much he hasn’t done with his life over thousands of years, even traveling to other planets and realms to just see what was out there and how far he could get. i’ve always projected his age as somewhere between more than 8,000 or even more than 10,000. we’re never given a timeline to how long the children of mah have lived. sliske has done a lot with his time; he’s killed a god, had quite a few elder relics in his grasp, SPOKEN to a elder god and managed not to die, mastered shadow magicks, has an excellent grasp on the shadow realm. he’s good with biology, chemistry, has a fair understanding of soul magic which is kind of a rare brand of knowledge, he’s tricked probably thousands into bad contracts to become wights in his army, understands the psychology and bad morals of people. he was a playwright, a high ranking officer, a spymaster. dude is just a determined polymath. you know what he hasn’t done? love. he’s never got to play with love.

mahjarrat are explained as having emotions, but dulled ones. they feel rage and pride apparently better than others. kharshai said after years of really believing he was a human, that when he came back to his true form he states “i  feel raw power coursing through my veins. i don't feel pain like i used to, and i'm sure my intellect has increased. but somehow there is something missing. a capacity for emotion that i can't quite put my finger on.” they aren’t equipped for the same range of positive emotions as others are. they feel it, but they don’t understand it fully, it has been said by developers. this whole bit is sadly funny considering in canon, sliske catches feelings. he doesn’t realize he’s attracted to the player character. it’s stated many times, in his journals, in dialogue, etc. he believes their fates are tangled no matter what. and the saddest bit is he probably doesn’t understand these feelings and it confuses him to the point of anger.  “ love! a mahjarrat in love? ... i almost wish that were true. it would certainly make the universe a more interesting place. ” “ so perhaps i have loved you. but that doesn’t mean i have to like you.”  sliske’s main goal started off as to take the players immortal, unable to be crushed by the divine, soul and give it to himself so he could live forever, as mahjarrats do not have afterlives, once they die they are done, evaporated into energy. but in endgame we learn something from him hidden in masks that refutes that;

“I love you for more than your soul.”

you STUPID fucker, you’re in love.

the remainder of this is a lot of NON-CANON, personal headcanon interpretation that pretty much only works on this blog. as a rough summary: sliske’s ol’ mum was not fond of her kids, half-brother wahisietel or sliske since she did not see them as powerful as herself and was disappointed that's what her legacy came out to. a short, beefy, average at magic son, she had another go and was still disappointed with this spidery, scrawny, gifted but absolutely annoying stick underweight child. his father, saw him once or twice in his life and that was it. dyeosuthua wanted nothing more than to make them disappear and try again until she got offspring she didn’t want to throw into a lava pit in secrecy, infanticide was against tribal law due to population issues. sliske’s mother’s neglect was so severe, ( by the absolute boundless joys of rp development and mutual heacanons ♥ ) that wahi and nabor had an attempt at raising him and keeping him from freezing to death. why is all this jargon important? because while all mahjarrats are raised by tough love, sliske’s attention deprivation from his mother was so severe, he grew up and still has a slew of reactive attachment, psychological, and social issues he still carries as an adult. several times she threatened to kill him and almost made good on it more than twice. when wahisietel had proven he was a survivor of the first ritual of rejuvenation, sliske became dyeosuthua’s  main target for abuse despite his gift for magic at a young age. nothing he did could impress her enough. and it left him constantly seeking approval and validation to an insecure mind.

the more he grew, the more confident he became mainly out of spite and to get attention. he’s loud, charming, makes you the only person in the room when he talks to you. he has an innate silver-tongued ability that persuades people to do just about anything. it was a front for his insecurities that he kept very very closed up. in the second age/senntisten capital, sliske had a pretty severe sex addiction as it was one of the few ways he felt validated and was able to get affection in a way he could digest. people with reactive attachment disorders often have sex addictions to fill the space of acceptance without having to commit.. easy, feel good intimacy without having to open up and let someone learn about your vulnerabilities and commit. it was pretty severe, considering mahjarrats find any kind of breeding or intimacies outside their ‘superior species’ as downright foul. sliske had always been the black sheep of the tribe and with his status as praefectus praetorio; head of secret police, really nothing put a damper on him trying to fill the void for affection he had. there wasn’t a species or individual he wouldn’t bed. he would easily take up propositions even for people who just wanted to fuck a mahjarrat because it was ‘exotic’ or because of his status as an officer, he now looks back on this and it bruises his insecurities even more that he allowed himself to do that. not out of pride for his species. but himself, being just a thing to be had because of rarity. azzanadra and his brother, wahisietel found out about it and while disgusted, partially understood what he was doing to negatively self soothe. at one point sliske and azzanadra, the champion of their god and head of the church, as well of one of the strongest living of their kin, had a lasting tryst for a few years and for awhile it made sliske feel very much self important in a way and alleviated his need to be needed so badly, this did not end well when sliske grew tired of their empire and wanted freedom. once childhood best friends and lovers had become absolute enemies once sliske became too unstable and azzanadra became too zealous. 

sliske gave up his sexcapades for a long time, thousands of years, his libido dropped when he became interested in other projects and self healing when he was hit with the idea that he hasd essentially allowed himself to be an exotic fling and still burned over becoming his god, zaros, scapegoat after all he had done for him. love was a weird concept to him and still is. despite being adamant love doesn’t exist for his kind, and his belief that he is flawed, unstable, and embraced the idea of ‘you want a monster? fine! i’ll be the monster!’. he expects no pity, not be forgiven to things he has done and even in game when you sycophantically try to cozy to him, he straight up calls out your text choice was awful considering some of the shitty things he might have done to you. to sliske, all attention to him is attention, whether you’re praising or insulting him. he’s on your mind, he exists, that’s all he wants.

backstory aside the real part of this headcanon is that sliske actually wants love. it’s the only thing aside from an immortal soul he hasn’t had. sliske actually has an attraction to humans because they are empathetic, curious, passionate, and determined. he has an easier time assimilating and being around them since he has ALWAYS had a better sense of humor, socializing, and happiness than his kin. he feels emotions a lot stronger than his fellow mahjarrats. it allows him to talk to and connect to humans and humanlike species better. others of his kind have told him there’s “something wrong” with him for that. he’s actually a romantic, even if he’s just mimicking romance stories, movies, and actions from others. he thinks the idea of settling with one person and loving them is both mortifying and interesting. opening yourself up to someone and giving them the hammer to smash your cherry-red painted porcelain heart and seeing if they do, to him might be the ultimate form of trust and biggest gamble of russian roulette. the stakes are so heavy he’s high on the idea. but it’s also horrifying. mahjarrat are prolific for not opening up, not allowing others in, vulnerability out in the open is a death sentence. they live in a kratocracy/meritocracy where they kill off the weakest link. it’s not pretty. being soft is a useless, unnecessary, weak gene to them. it dampers survival. 

but yet sliske keeps reading romance novels, writing his own confused poetry, and getting into unrequited one sided loves but practicing a backstabbing betrayal when one gets too close. i have to hurt them before they hurt me, betray and cut them down before they can do it to me. i think he wants to be loved. i think he kinda wants to be taught to love, for the emotions and the sake of knowledge. ( brb james newton howard’s ‘true love’s kiss’ from maleficent just came on spotify and i think i’m going to die bc i did not ask for background music thanks!!! ) he wouldn’t be the best at it, maybe a little too possessive with you, codependent, but very nurturing and fun loving. will sepnd a whole week spooning you.. people who hurt you past, present, and future may end up dead in mysterious ways or turned into a wight for you to beat the shit out of. but he’d try. he’s still got a broken child sitting behind his third rib. i think he would snarl the first few times someone genuinely got close to him, it would terrify him, being known on such a skinned, raw level. having gentle touches that are real and not a come hither to the bedroom. being known for something other than the confident, ego he has is death. he could be taught to be gentle for a crumb of consistent attention. might even cut down the murders and god killing down by 15%. love is not going to fix him, it’s not going to forgive the actual shitty things he’s done. it should never do that. but it will turn the lights on in a dark house.

love could really break him. i think so. i’d type more but this has gone on too long and i feel sad-happies. 

[sparrow-flies-south]

Ten Things [Chapter 7]

Fandom: Sanders Sides Pairings: Anxceit, Royality Intrulogical Summary: Ten Things I Hate About You AU When Roman Prince learns that Patton Foster isn’t allowed to date until his older brother, Virgil, is, Roman is crushed. Roman’s twin brother Remus, however, comes up with a plan: find someone who is willing to date Virgil. And who better to ask than Janus Verona, who according to rumours is willing to do anything for the right price? Taglist (ask to be added): @glitchybina @someone-idk-is-here @ellietempest @imlikeaghostzombiejesus @anxiety-ismy-name Notes: Better late than never, right?

Hopefully I won’t have as many more delays in the future, but in other news, we’re halfway through! (According to my outline, at least) I’m really excited about getting into the second half, which has a lot of fun things in it!

AO3 Link - Chapter One - Chapter Two - Chapter Three - Chapter Four - Chapter Five - Chapter Six

Remus meandered along the school corridors in the hopes that someone would see him, take pity on him, and offer him a lift home. So far, his plan wasn’t bearing much fruit.

With Roman in detention for hacking the schools intercom system (not that it counted as hacking if it was left alone in an unlocked room) Remus was forced to either wait around for an hour or make his own way home. Waiting around meant boredom, but going home meant walking, which was only slightly better.

He turned a corner, and grinned when he spotted Logan talking to a guy Remus didn’t really know. At least Logan might offer some entertainment – he was fun to wind up, and, best of all, never seemed to take his antics too seriously. Well, other than when Remus deliberately got science wrong.

Remus waved, but Logan didn’t notice. The other guy was leaning close to him, saying something, and Logan had his head down, his shoulders hunched. Remus faltered. Clearly, only one person was happy to be having that conversation.

The guy laughed, and shoved Logan, hard enough to make him stagger back a step. Rage twisted up in Remus’ gut, and he strode forward, but the guy was already walking away.

“Hey!” Remus shouted. The guy didn’t look back, just disappeared through the doors that led out of the school.

Remus began to follow, but Logan’s hand caught his arm, freezing him in place.

“Leave it,” Logan said.

Remus frowned, turning to Logan. “Who the hell was that?”

“That was Jake,” Logan said, sounding resigned. He began walking out of the school, and Remus followed him.

“What did he want?” Remus asked.

“Nothing.”

“He was clearly messing with you.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Bullshit,” Remus snapped, grabbing Logan’s arm and holding him in place. “C’mon, Lo, tell me what’s going on.”

“Why?” Logan snapped. “So you can join him in making my life miserable?”

Remus dropped Logan’s arm and took a step back. “Logan, that’s not -”

“Of course not,” Logan said before Remus could figure out how he was going to end the sentence. He shook his head. “I have work to do.”

Remus watched Logan walk away, frozen in place. Something was definitely wrong, but Remus didn’t know what to do about it. How did you make someone feel better?

He could go beat up Jake. Remus spun on his heel, and marched to the car park.

You’ll get suspended, a voice that sounded suspiciously like Logan warned. Remus ignored it. Who cared if he got suspended? It would get the dude off of Logan’s back. It might even make everyone else think twice before messing with Logan.

Remus arrived at the car park just in time to see Jake get into a shiny new car and drive away. Remus scowled; so goes that idea.

He could still fight the guy tomorrow, but it wouldn’t feel the same. He wanted a way to cheer Logan up now. Make it so that Logan wasn’t bothered about Jake and his shitty, perfect car.

Huh. That gave Remus an idea. Sure, beating him up might be off the table for now, but there were other ways to get revenge. Ways that would probably make Logan feel better, too.

Smiling to himself, Remus began walking away from school. He’d need to go on a recon mission around the neighbourhood, and then visit Logan when it got dark, but first, he was going to the grocery store.

 The date was perfect.

Roman had driven them to the park, where they had walked hand in hand. When they got to the lake, Patton noticed Swan boats and mentioned that he’s always wanted to go on one. So Roman had decided that the best time to try it was right there and then, even though the sun was setting.

They stayed on the lake until it got dark, when they went back to shore and Roman drove Patton home. Patton wished the day wouldn’t end – everything felt so magical, that he was scared it would disappear at any moment.

They pulled into Patton’s driveway far too soon.

Roman insisted on opening Patton’s door for him, and then walking him up to the house.

“I’ll see you at school then,” Roman said when they were standing on the porch.

Patton nodded. He opened his mouth to say something – to ask Roman to kiss him again – when the door slammed open, making both of them jump. Virgil stood in the doorway, looking furious.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Virgil snarled.

Roman stiffened. “I was just taking Patton home.”

“I told you to leave him alone!”

Patton moved between the two of them. “Virgil, stop. It was just a misunderstanding.”

“I don’t care! You said you weren’t going to waste your time on him!” Virgil said accusingly.

“No, I didn’t,” Patton protested. “You did.”

“And you agreed!”

Patton said nothing, and Virgil narrowed his eyes.

“You did agree,” Virgil said.

Patton hugged his arms close to his body. “Virgil, can we talk about this later?”

Virgil glanced between Patton and Roman, and then shook his head. “Fine,” he said dully. “Do what you want.”

“Virgil, that’s not-” Patton began, but Virgil was already going inside. The door shut between them.

“Well,” Roman said lightly. “He’s a real charmer.”

“He’s a good person,” Patton said. “He just… worries about me. You must feel the same way about Remus.”

“Sometimes,” Roman said. “But Remus can look after himself. And so can you.”

Patton tried to smile. He wished Roman hadn’t had to see that. He reached out and grabbed Roman’s hand.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“You don’t need to apologise for your brother,” Roman said. “Trust me, I get it.”

Patton smiled. He wasn’t sure what to say, so he just stared down at their entwined hands. He ran his thumb over Roman’s hand.

“Are you okay?” Roman asked.

“Of course,” Patton said, as cheerfully as he could manage. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“If you’re sure,” Roman said, but he sounded doubtful.

“I am sure,” Patton asserted. “I had a really good time today.”

“Me too.”

“I should get inside,” Patton said. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“And every day after that,” Roman said, making Patton giggle.

Despite what he’d said, Patton stayed on the porch until Roman had gotten into his car and driven away. Only when the car had fully disappeared did he go inside.

By the time he did, Virgil was hidden in his room.

 Logan was unable to focus. The very idea should be absurd – Logan prided himself on his attentiveness to his studies. And yet, every time he tried to solve the maths problems in front of him, his mind kept wandering.

Jake had been a metaphorical thorn in Logan’s side for years, though he had not caused problems for a while. Apparently, Jake had been bored today, because he had decided he had nothing better to do than harass Logan. It had made Logan reluctant to go to the cafeteria when Remus had asked – an irrational fear, as Jake could very well find him anywhere in the school.

A knock sounded at the door, but Logan ignored it. Patton was with Roman, so there was no chance that whoever it was at the door was there to see him. Instead, he tried to focus on his work, only to realise that he’d forgotten what the problem was, and had to reread it again.

This wasn’t right! Logan had never had this problem before, and now that he did, it was because of Jake? Someone who would likely amount to nothing after graduation? Normally, Logan would be completely unaffected, even as Patton rushed to comfort him.

The thought of Patton made something twist in his gut. Another irrational thing; Logan was not entitled to Patton’s time, and so had no reason to be upset that Patton wasn’t there. Surely, Jake’s teasing on how Patton had found a new boyfriend (in this scenario, Logan was apparently Patton’s previous boyfriend, despite never having romantic feelings for him) couldn’t have gotten to him.

“Logan!” his mother, Martha, called.

“I’m busy,” he called back, because he didn’t need another distraction when his head was already providing one.

“You have a guest.”

Logan frowned, and made his way out of his room. If Patton was here, that would imply something had gone wrong between him and Roman, which meant that Logan would need to have a conversation with Roman about the consequences of him hurting Patton.

But then, if Patton was here, his mother would have just said that.

“Who is it?” his other mother, Amy, asked, poking her head out of the office.

“I don’t know yet,” Logan pointed out. “Shouldn’t you be working?”

Amy had decided that this year she was going to write the book she was working on for sure. This was a process that involved very little actual writing, and a great deal of seeking out distractions. It led to a mother who was suddenly fascinated by everything Logan did.

Amy pouted. “Isn’t say that meant to be my job?”

Logan just fixed her with a stare.

Amy rolled her eyes dramatically. “You’re not me real dad,” she declared, before slinking back into her office. She left the door open.

Logan continued down stairs, but he only made it halfway down the staircase before freezing, because Remus Prince was standing in the hallway, talking to his mother.

Remus spotted him and waved with one hand – the other hand, Logan noticed, was carrying a shopping bag. Martha turned and smiled.

“There you are,” she said. “Sorry about the wait, he’s an extremely rebellious child.”

“One day someone will believe you when you say that,” Logan said as he walked down the final steps.

“Not if they’ve spent five seconds around you, they won’t,” Martha shot back. She touched one hand to Logan’s hair in a display of affection, before gliding back to the living room.

“You have two mums?” Remus asked. Of course, he had seen Amy when she had picked him up from the party.

“Yes. Surely I’ve mentioned it before?”

Remus shrugged, fiddling with the handle of the bag. “Probably. I don’t always pay attention that well.”

“Pardon my abruptness,” Logan said, “But what are you doing here?”

“I’m here to torment you, obviously,” Remus said.

It was meant as a joke, like many of Remus’ statements were, but Logan could see the defensive curl to his shoulders. Logan grimaced when he thought back on what he had said earlier.

“I apologise for how I acted,” Logan said. “You are nothing like Jake.”

“Yeah, I hope not,” Remus said. “What’d he do?”

“The details are irrelevant. Suffice to say we have been rivals for a while now.”

“Seems kinda one sided for rivals. What happened, he get mad you did better at him on a test?”

“That would require him to be mad at the whole school,” Logan said drily, and Remus snorted. “No, he takes issue with me choice of friends. Or, more accurately, with Patton’s choice of friends.”

“He’s mad you stole his bestie?”

Logan nodded, and Remus groaned. “Ugh, that’s so boring.”

Logan fought down a smile. “What were you hoping for?”

“Drama! Betrayal! An illicit love affair!”

He was unable to stop the smile now, though he was able to smother it as much as possible. Why on earth did he find Remus’ antics amusing, when by all rights he should be infuriated by them.

Well, he normally was infuriated by them. He just also found them amusing.

“Still,” Remus said, “We have to do something.”

“About what?” Logan asked.

“Jake! He doesn’t get to just mess with you!”

Logan shook his head. “There’s nothing to be done. He doesn’t constitute a big enough problem for the school to step in.”

“That’s why we’re not asking the school.” Remus grabbed Logan’s arm. “C’mon.”

“I have homework,” Logan objected.

“Well, I’m kidnapping you, so there,” Remus said.

Logan sighed. “Mum,” he called. “I’m being kidnapped.”

“Let us know if you’ll be staying out late,” Martha called back.

Logan shook his head as he let Remus drag him out of the house. “What exactly is the purpose of this?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Remus asked. He held up the shopping bag. “Revenge, my dear Watson.”

 Dinner was an awkward affair, with both brothers eating in silence, despite Remy’s attempts to initiate conversation. Virgil fled back upstairs as soon as he was able to, and Patton wanted nothing more to follow him.

“Okay,” Remy said. “What happened?”

Patton swallowed uncertainly. “What do you mean?”

Remy fixed Patton with a stare. “Don’t play dumb, Pat. Since when are you and Virgil fighting?”

Patton sighed. “Something happened, and, uh, Virgil and I disagree on it.”

“What happened?”

“Nothing bad,” Patton quickly assured him. “At least, I don’t think it’s bad.”

“That’s not as reassuring as you think it is,” Remy remarked. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“I know,” Patton said. “And I’m going to – I was always going to, it’s just…”

“Hey.” Remy placed a hand on Patton’s shoulder. “If you really don’t want to talk about it now, you don’t have to.”

It wasn’t something Remy had offered before. Normally, he would push harder, worried about what could possibly be so bad.

“No, I want to,” Patton said, and it was suddenly true. “Do you remember when I was talking about Roman?”

Remy looked confused, before his face morphed into resignation. “I think I can see where this is going.”

“Virgil is dating Janus now,” Patton said. “He told me. Which means that I’m allowed to date now, too.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Remy said, waving a hand. “When did both my sons turn into Casanova’s? Fine, I guess you can go on a date with him.”

“Oh,” Patton said. “Actually, uh-“

“You already went on one, didn’t you?” guessed Remy, who was well experienced with the tactic of doing something before your parents could ban you.

Patton, at least, looked sheepish when he nodded, something that Remy never had.

“Wait,” Remy said. “Let me get this straight – you and Virgil are fighting over a boy?”

Patton sighed, and nodded. Somehow, he ended up spilling the whole story – or at least, an abridged version of it, leaving out the amount of alcohol he’d drank on Friday.

“Virgil doesn’t trust him,” Patton said. “But Virgil doesn’t even know him.”

“Well, if it makes you feel better, I don’t trust Virgil’s boyfriend either.”

It didn’t make Patton feel better.

“That’s just it,” he complained. “I’m happy for Virgil, why can’t he be happy for me?”

“He is happy, probably,” Remy said. “He just worries about you. We both do.”

“But I don’t want to be worried about. I like Roman, isn’t that enough?”

“I wish it was,” Remy said ruefully. “Look, Virge will come round. You know how he gets about change.”

“I guess,” Patton said with a sigh.

Still, it felt wrong, not having his big brother to gush to.

  “Okay, jeez, I won’t call you Watson again,” Remus said when Logan paused for breath. “I didn’t realise you took Sherlock Holmes so seriously.”

“I take insults to my character seriously,” Logan said. He frowned and looked around, noticing their surroundings for the first time. “Where are we?”

It was night now, with only the streetlights illuminating the quiet, residential street they were standing on. They were by a fence between two perfectly normal houses, out of sight from the windows.

“You don’t recognise it?” Remus asked. “Look at the car.”

Logan squinted at the two cars parked in the driveway. One of them looked familiar, but it took him a moment to realise that he’d seen it at school, and another one to realise who he’d seen driving it.

“Remus is – is this Jake’s house?”

“Yep,” Remus said, reaching into the bag.

“Why are we at Jake’s house? How do you even know where he lives?”

“To answer your second question, I know a guy who knows a guy. And for the first one,” – Remus pushed a carton of eggs into Logan’s hands – “We’re here for revenge.”

Logan stared at the carton, then back at the car, which Remus was moving closer to. He realised what Remus was suggested in a sudden rush.

“Absolutely not,” he hissed.

“C’mon, aren’t you mad about everything he’s done?”

“That doesn’t mean we should egg his car.”

“Do you have a better solution? One that will actually work?” Remus challenged.

“I fail to see how this solution will do help.”

“It helps because it’ll make you feel better.”

Logan stared at the eggs. It was normally Patton that made him feel better, but he’d almost never had that. Jake had tried to drive them apart, telling Logan that Patton didn’t really want him around, that he just felt bad for Logan. Barely aware of what he was doing, he took an egg out of the carton. When he looked back up, Remus was watching him, face earnest.

It would have been easy to dismiss Remus as just wanting to cause trouble, but if that was the case, he would have started throwing eggs by now. He really was there just for Logan’s sake.

Logan threw the egg.

Remus whooped as the egg went splat against the car’s windshield, and Logan felt a rush of exhilaration.

Remus quickly tossed his own egg, which hit the passenger door. Logan grabbed the next one without think about it. It was like a dam had broken, and now all of Logan’s frustrations came flooding out. He kept throwing eggs, and Remus cheered whenever one hit the car.

The car alarm went off, shocking Logan into stillness. What had he just done? The car was now a runny, goopy mess.

Remus didn’t stay still. He grabbed Logan’s arm and shouted, “Run!” just as a window opened.

The remaining eggs dropped from Logan’s hand as they raced down the street. He could hear the sound of someone shouting behind him, but Remus kept a grip on his arm, pulling him when Logan became out of breath.

Eventually, Remus decided that they were far enough away, and came to a stop. Logan crouched on the ground, gasping for breath.

“We lost them,” Remus said proudly.

“That,” Logan said between pants, “Was the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever done.”

“Worth it, though.”

Logan nodded, unable to speak. When he finally caught his breath and looked up again, Remus was staring at him.

“What?”

Remus blinked, seeming to come out of a daze. “Nothing, it’s just – you’re smiling.”

“Oh.” Logan was suddenly aware of the grin that threatened to split his face in two.

Remus smiled, and sat down next to Logan.

Remus had figured out that something was wrong with Logan, and then figured out what was wrong. He’d gone out of his way to help Logan, albeit using a rather chaotic method. And for what? The only thing that seemed to have come out of it was that Logan felt better.

“Remus?” Logan asked.

“Hm?” Remus didn’t turn his head. The half-light shone eerily on his features, like someone in an old horror movie.

“Are we friends?”

It was a foolish thing to ask. Surely, Logan should know who his friends were. If he had to ask, wouldn’t that imply that they weren’t friends?

Remus didn’t seem to take offense, though. He just smiled. “I don’t do this for every guy I tutor.”

“I’m the only person you tutor,” Logan said drily. “But thanks. I… consider you a friend, too.”

Strangely enough, Remus’ smile looked brittle after Logan said that. It must have been a trick of the light though, because when Remus spoke it was with his usual irreverent tone. “Well, you’re stuck with me now, Calculator Watch.”

Logan could imagine worse people to be stuck with.

[popculturebuffet]

Top 10 Regular Show Episodes

Close Enough is Close! 2 more days and a show i’ve waited without hyperbole years for will finally land offically. While i’ve seen three episodes preelease, one because of a french film festival the other two because HBO made an oopsie, and it’s more than likely i’ll be seeing those episodes again thursday, it dosen’t make it any less special, as with an offical release comes the fandom finally becoming a thing and the ablility to watch the episodes over and over again.. on computer till HBO gets it’s shit together but still. IT’s a great time.  And my hype for the show made me revisit it’s big brother: Regular Show. Created by what would happen if you condesned california into a person, JG Quintel, Regular Show, as you all damn well know but I like doing anyway so as rigby would say, STOP TALKING, was about two slackers and best bros: Laidback hipster and hurricane when it came to talking to women, Mordecai and Rigby a high strung, idiotic, impulsive, and frequently angry racoon who worked, when they absolutley had to, at a park. Joining them at the park were their coworkers and later closest friends: Benson, their constnatly angry boss who constnatly belts out empty threats to fire them and has a rather sad personal life, Skips, a centuries old yeti whose literally seen it all and despenses advice for the duo and is voiced by everyone’s faviorite grandpa/jedi/murder clown Mark Hamill, Muscle Man, a grotesque blob of a man who likes  “My mom” jokes and breaking things, Hi Five Ghost, Muscle Man’s sidekick who got like.. one episode focusing on him alone over 8 seasons moving on, and Pops, an odd but unfailingly sweet and kind vicotrian era gentleman whose also basically immortal and is Bensons’ boss in name only.  The Park Crew spend their days working, or in our main duo’s case trying to get out of work to do anything else,  while dealing with every day issues that would quickly ballon into insanity. Getting pops a birthday present of Fuzzy Dice from a local pizza place ended up with the crew having to fight a bunch of anamatonic animals that were stashing diamonds in there. Trying to get concert tickets involved getting caffine from the nipples of a giant sentient coffee bean in order to stay awake long enough to do the extra work. And Mordecai trying to delete an embrarassing message off his crush Margret’s voice mail lead to him and rigby getting hauled in front of a bunch of a message guardians, one of which is a sentient smoke signal that wanted to burn them while the other replied with “we’ree not going to burn them when have we ever burned anybody”... I love and miss those guys. Oh and it’s resolved by having to playt he embarassing song he sang while said message beings groove to it then ask him to colaberate with them on their album. THis show was on all the drugs and I am all the hear for it. I could go all day obviously but this section is long enough as is, let’s move on. 

Regular Show came at JUST the right time for Cartoon Netowork: Similar to how the 80s doom patrol comic started off really bland and cookie cutter and not at all doom patrol and then grant morrison came in, had hte previous writer kill almost everything, then rebuilt it from scratch with crazy, CN had few shows left and was coming off a really terrible attempt at competeing with NIck and Disney Channel’s live action dommance with a bunch of dude broy reality shows and other ill conceved ideas. The network had a few shows, Total Drama, The Clone Wars which got better and I need to watch those better seasons at some point, but they weren’t enough to make the network thrive again.  SO enter adventure time and regular show: BOth were creative, funny , a bit rough around the ages, and kind of nuts, but both were massive hits: The shows hit almost every demographics sweet spots: Kids like the bright colors, fun designs, and insanity, teens loved the edgy bits of the humor and also the insanity and 20 somethings and older both found refrences they got and loved, and well.. insanity. I mean being fucking nuts but also wonderful is kind of the watchword for most animation nowadays. While in the past in my own head i’ve played down Regular Show’s part in things, after all it came second and had a rough patch I told myself.. but I was wrong. Both shows had a lot of the same elements; insane stuff, great voice acting and good humor especially as they evolved.. but both also evolved in largely the same way and that way helped change animation for the next decade: Both, despite being comeidies, regular show keeping to it a bit more than adventure time did as they evolved, had the characters grow, something a lot of animated comedies didn’t do as much ast the time, even the good ones. THey had season long arcs, things that are now standard features in most cartoons for good reason were MADE standard by these shows. It’s just regular show’s legacy got diluted by shows that TRIED to copy it but both failed to see that it grew past season one or that it’s being okay for kids but really based in adult life and problems meant copycats like fanboy and chum chum, sanjay and craig and breadwinners, all thankfully long dead, eventually sputtered out and died. That and Nick is REALLY shitty at maintaing shows or treating creators with anything resembling respect. Somehow Teen Titans Go is still alive despite having similar failings but you can’t win everything. It didn’t help gravity falls came along right after and proceded to be even more influentail than both of these shows. Hmmm I just realized I haven’t done any gravity falls reviews here.. I gotta get on that. But while the show got eclipsed in quality and popularity I do still think it holds up for the most part as funny, charming and with , for the most part, good character arcs, it’s just that a bit of incosntientcy, some abrubtly done actions and a REALLY fucking terrible arc in season 6 dull the show a bit in comparison to what came after, but I do realize now it’s still worht watching, remembering and laughing at. It may of not been the greatest, but damn it was good.  So with my nostaliga for the show popping up, my faith in it restored, and it’s sucessor showing up in a few days, I decided to do a little something for the ocassion. I WAS going to do a full on review, but had troulbe finding an episode as some of my faviorites are part of a larger arc that was hurt by a later arc, and the show ping ponged between slice of life and utter insanity enought hat it was hard to peg down to jus tone or two episodes. So while I WILL review the show eventually, it has both good and bad episodes needing it, I decided instead to dig out something I hadn’t done in far too long: a top whatver lists! Now while I do get these things are clickbaity, because they are, I.. honestly just love making them. Even if i’ts not for any specific purpose I just love ranking, the stress, even if I normally hate stress given my anxiety, of trying to narrow them down, and the satisfaction of taking a ton of episodes and melting htem down into the best of them. And with a show as long and varied as regular show, If igured this was the best way to show it off before I dived into it eventually. I’ll obviously be doing more top, and bottom lists in the future, but for now this seemd like a godo place to get back to it. As  Now a few more things before we finally get started. Yes I know i’ve gone on for a few years now but i’m almost done. This list is obviously, my opinon. If you disagree fine, and feel free to comment or shoot me an ask about it but I stand by my list and what I choose. I had to boil down over 60 episodes I picked to possibly  be on the list and even after it was down to 40 cuts were really difficult, .. Also just as a quick note there are no episodes from seasons 1, 6, 7 and 8, and that’s not on purpose, as the last two seasons are really good, it just fell out that way and i’m sorry about it. So with that out of the way grabs some sodas and wings, get out your maxi gloves, and bring out your best sentient earworms wearing sunglassses, after the cut I count down the top 10 Regular Show episodes. OOOOOOOOO!

10. I Like You, Hi (Season 5, Episode 26) As you’ll be able to tell by the rest of this list Season 5 is my faviorite, and it’s where I feel the series hit it’s peak before next season lead to it’s valley. It’s got a ton of great episodes, as this list will attest, some great character development, and was still really damn funny.  But what put it over the top for me was the Mordecai and CJ arc. At the end of the last season as you probably know the show wrote out Margret, having her finally get into college like she’d wanted since she got an actual character back in “Camping Be Cool” instead of just being “that hot girl mordecai really likes but is too scared to persue”, and another fantastic episode we’ll be getting to, Mordecai was in position to move on.  Re-Enter CJ. CJ was introduced earlier in the season 3 ep “Yes Dude Yes” which itself is really good, where Mordecai thought margret was engaged and with Rigby’s encouragment, ended up meeting CJ, stands for Cloudy Jay if your curious, a sentient cloud voiced by the wonderful LInda Cardenelli, aka wendy from gravity falls and currently co star of the equally wonderful show Dead to Me. Seriously go check it out on netflix, it’s really good. It naturally went pearshaped since Margret wasn’t engaged, he tried going out with both, she turned into a thunderstorm out of rage... as you do.. it’s like the season 6 plot but less infurating and more understandable.  But the two remeet, and had a kiss on new years while not knowing it’s the other person under am ask.. and then CJ ran and both thought the other was upset: MOrdecai for him being MOrdecai, and CJ for running out on him and agreed to be friends. That didn’t last, though it did give us another classic on this list, as while exes can be friends and all, the two still had something between them. Thus came this one. And it was a hard one as it barely inched out the finale of their relationship arc, Real Date, which had the ceo of a dating company try to break them up and be really damny funny but it’s ulitmatley this one being just as hilarious while being a great character piece that gets it the rub.  As the episode opens Mordecai and CJ have been spending a LOT of time together and i’ts clear there’s a spark there.. but Mordecai insists it’s platonic. And yes there is a bad habit of animation being unable to accept females and males who are into the oppistie sex can’t be friends without being attracted to each other. It’s being cleared up more lately, but as Star Vs showed it still happens sometimes. But it works here: The two STARTED with dating, made out on new years, and are attracted to each other it’s just clear both were in denial about it. It’s not saying “well they have chemstiry so fuck their partners’ like star vs or “if you loved someone once those feelings will return and destroy yoru current relationship” like next season.... season 6′s arc is a tirefire burn it.  But the issue is forced when, while texting about an extreme baking show together while CJ’s at her job at a sports bar, it autocrrects from Yuji, the show’s host, to you hi, sending the title message “I like you, hi”. Mordecai, being even less adept with his feelings and anxiety towards women than me and trust me that’s saying something, spirals and we do get the episodes best scene, narrowly beating out it’s climax, where Mordecai summons a war council.. aka the rest of the main cast minus benson but plus Thomas, the intern who I wish stuck around longer even after he turned out to be a russian spy because they ran out of ideas for him, voiced by Roger Craig Smith and distractingly using his future sonic voice. 

I just.. love everything about the scnee. From the term pulling a mordecai, to Rigby joining in, deservedly as he’s had front row seats for a lot of this bollocks, to everyone’s suggestions especially Muscle Man’s half assed one that somehow, but unsuprisngly, works for him and Starla.  Naturally Mordecai comes up with what Rigby HIMSELF admits is a Rigby level half assed scheme to get an actual photo with Yuji rather than just admit the truth. Yuji himself is an utter delight, having had his star not rise as fast as he’d like thanks to autocorrect and being entirely on board, and when it backfires as MOrdecai ends up autocorrected and sends the message thrice and gets sucked into the phone again, admits i’ts “pretty extreme’. I love the guy and i’m prety sure he showed up again, to my delight. 

In the phone Mordecai meets some old friends, the message guardians who I mentioned in the “insane shit this show has done” bit earlier: old forms of messaging who police texting, all voiced by Rich Fulcher of the Mighty Boosh and Snuffbox Fame. 

I love Rich and wish these guys could show up in close enough. Maybe they can, I don’t know how rights issues with turner properties work when it comes to two diffrent audiences entirely. Anyways what really makes the episode, besides the great callbacks in this scene, is when confronted with everything going on, Mordecai.. tries to run into the void, with Rigby, The Message Recorder and the Smoke Signal all encouraging him to come back. “There’s nothing out there for you, literally it’s just a blank void”. With the leading tape recorder pointing out from their text history not only how great CJ is but how much he seems to like her with Mordecai finally coming back and admitting the obvious: He does like her.. he’s just scared of beefing it again. Which he does but that’s not the point. Rigby, who as part of his character development helps Mordecai quite a bit with this stuff by being a neutral party, though he also likes CJ better than Margret which is a mood even though I don’t care which one you ship mordecai with frankly, you do you, I have my prefrences. And with that Mordecai finally texts her and asks her out, with her accepting via winky face.. with an added text to clarify it for his neuotic ass.. which is also a mood as my neuortic ass could use that a lot. Overall just a wonderful , hilarious and good bit of character growth.. that season 6 throws in the oven, but that’s a long rant for another day. On it’s own, “I LIke you, hi” is a good character piece for mordecai whlie still being really damn funny. 

9. Thanksgiving Special (Season 5, Episode 15)

Regular Show was really damn great at holliday specials. Their terror tales from the park every halloween were always a nice treat and a good replacement for Simpsons “Treehouse of Horror” which still exists, it’s just no one cares at this point, and their christmas and new years episodes are both really damn good, the first Christmas Episode being in contention for this list even. But to me the best of the best was easily Season 5′s  thanksgiving episode. 

The premise is simple: Mordecai and Rigby accidnetly destroy thanksgiving dinner, which the park crew is having for everyone and their famllies and, refusing to take Benson trying to dismiss their attempts to help fix their mistake, end up joining a songwriting contest to try and win a Turducken.. a natural one that’s born every 1000 Years because this is regular show. To do this they have to beat a parody of everyone’s least faviorite president Donald Trump, Rich Buckner.  The fact that trump was basically the main villian of a holliday special a year before he became president is not lost on me and  is one of the most accurate depections of the man i’ve ever seen. The fact Rich steals the prize despite our boys winning from his blimp with a grappling hook is peak trump. The fact Trump has’nt stolen more things with a grappling hook in real life is only because his hands are too small to use one. 

Getting past our president for my own sanity, the episode also has really great subplots: Muscle Man and Fives go to  a sports bar to get sides and end up pissing off a former football player and getting into a touchdown dance comppetition, sadly not set to the super bowl shuffle, while Benson, Pops and Skips go to get a turkey and end up fighting over it with men dressed up like a piligrim, a first thanksgiving era native american and a turkey, to which they don’t even really give an explination for.. granted most explinatoins on this show are insane but even by regular show standards, this gets none. And I love it for it.  While as you can tell the episode is really damn funny, what really sells it is the emotional core: For once while they do fear for their jobs a bit Mordecai and Rigby’s main motivation in this messup is genuine guilt and wanting to fix their mistake, and they work hard at it, even giving a genuine and awesome heartfelt song that notches itself up with other thanksgiving classics “That thankstiginv themed soul sketch on snl” and adam sandler’s turkey song also from snl. Not a high bar but it’s really good regardless

The episodes’ real strength though is it’s emotional core: For once instead of saving their own asses or understadnably wanting to get one over on the cranky and in the worse written episodes obnoxiously overbearing benson, they simply feel terrible about possibly runing the meal for their arriving parents and everyone elses parents and families and their friends and work to right the wrong. It’s not the first time they worked to do something genuinely good with no benefit to themselves, but it’s probably the best and Benson’s I forgive you, while hilarious is also really sweet. And speaking of sweet

It ends on a really sweet and touching note, as Mordecai and Rigby, after escaping a blimp via a wish on a golden wishbone because of course, make it home to find the various weirdos the park crew met have brought them thanksgiving, and their parents will be there and we get a nice touching ending as the main duo get a well earned toast from Benson. Just an out and out amazing thanksgiving special and a good reminder of what the holiday means.

8. Trucker Hall of Fame (Season 3, Episode 37)

Moving on from Season 5 for a second, Season 3 was where the show really started to hit it’s stride to me. While Season 2 was a nice increase in quality from the sometimes choppy and heavy on “everyone is an asshole” comedy season 1, Season 3 was where the increased focus on the rest of the cast outside of our main duo balloned and what seeds of character were planted in season 2 beautifully bloomed. And this episode is one of the best examples of that.  This one focuses on Muscle Man, who earlier on was basically the main duo’s rival alongside his buddy high five ghost, and kind of a dick. While “Kind of a dick” never left any discription of Mitch Sorenstein, this and previous episode muscle woman showed there was more to the goblin man than we thought. It’s also one of regular show’s few early mostly serious episodes and unlike the benson ones, again this list was tough don’t come at me with a machete, and realy showed why muscle man is the human tire fire he is. The episode introduces, and quickly kills off, muscle dad, mitch’s dad who gave him a love of pranks and was a truck driver who died as he live: mistaking a fake bear for a real one during a prank. Muscle Man being not the most stable person on a GOOD day, spirals, as seen above, and Benson tasks mordecai and rigby, since Fives isn’t good with death ironically and isn’t holding up much better, and as a much later episode shows the two became besties in high school so he probably knew muscle dad for a good ten years so he’s probably not in a great place either, nice stuff, to go with him to put his dad’s ashes in the trucker hall of fame.  What follows is a sweet and damn sad episode. While Mitch’s frequent breakkdowns can be hilarous their also really sad and having lost my grandpa since this episode aired, I can relate to being fine one minute and a total shrieking wreck the next over the smallest thing. But it also shows that Mitch genuinely thinks of our main duo as his friends, and that beneath his testorrone positned exterior he’s a decent guy, being genuinely greatful. Of course being regular show the 3 end up squaring off with some truckers, while Mitch also grappels with the revelation his dad wasn’t one but a forklift opperator who faked being a trucker for his son’s benifit and dleft a tender note in his picture, figuring correctly his son would break it open when he found out... oh and because this show is still nuts his ghost ends up saving them at the end which is really sweet , as mitch decides trucker or no his ashes deserve to be there. Also his ghost shows up again at thanksgiving so apparently he can just come back once in a while, which is nice but dosen’t demnish the bittersweet feeling of this ep. And as I said the show has a good grasp on continuity as this ep marked a turning point for our main duo and muscle man: while the’yve bonded before after this, aside from mitch’s habit of christmas pranks and his faking his death, they really don’t nearly get as annoyed by him ever again. i’ts a sweet touching ride tha’ts uncharacristic of the show’s usual chaos but really works. 

7. A Bunch of Full Grown Geese (Season 4, Episode 19) After a few episodes that were more sentimental on this list, it’s good to get back to some good old regular show madness for this one, which was also the series 100th in production order and is a worthy milestone episode. Season 4 was really good building on the good will from Season 3 and FINALLY having payoff to the margret and mordecai thing, more on that in a bit. Not as much to say as seasons 3 or 5, but it was still spectacular.  The sequel to another ep, fittingly given it’s #100, full grown geese has our duo tasked with removing a bunch of obnoxious geese, with Benson in dick mode refusing to give the two more help, though it does lead to one of the show’s best scenes when he gives his usual your fried threat.. and fitting a milestone episode, Rigby calls him on never going through with it and the threat being as empty as my dreams. Benson responds by going nuts and angrishing them out of his office.. really funny. But yeah with the geese attacking them and , in their first attacking, poor pops, and no way to combat them, the two turn to the baby ducks, a bunch of baby ducks from the episode titled that who show up to help.. and this being the 100th episode of an already grant morrison level nuts show, it turns out the geese seek to conquer earth, voiced by david warner of course and have laser eyes.. and can combine. And the ducks do so again, mecha style, and add in our heroes and a bunch of call backs in one of the series best and most batshit sequences> The ending is also throughly satisfying as while our heroes win, Benson chews them out for tearing up the park in the process.. only for the ducks mom to call him out for not only yelling at the ducks, who are just kids, but at mordecai and rigby after they just saved the park from being a smoldering crater and not just trashed and he backs off. Just a fun episode where the crew just went nuts and the results speak for themselves. 

6. This is My Jam (Season 2, Episode 13)

Now this one I couldn’t NOT include. This is one of the series best even after it’s immense growth, and a beloved classic for a reason. And like the above it’s a good classic case of regular show hyjinks while also being relatable this time: Rigby gets a brainless but catchy pop song from the 90′s stuck in his head and despite growing to hate it, and Mordecai hating it because this episode establishes him as a hipster, and seemingly exercises it.. only for it to manifest as a GIANT CASETTE WEARING SUNGLASSES THAT PLAYS THE SONG JUST BY EXISTING AND DANCES CONSTANTLY. it’s utterly glorious and used to great effect, also annoying benson because he’s constnatly annoyed. To beat it the main duo get the rest of the park’s help at Skips suggestion to form a band and craft an even BIGGER earworm to cast it out. Oh and there’s a great scene where Pops is forced to awkwardly dance with the incarnation of the 90′s “But I won’t use my best moves”.  The climax also has one of Benson’s best moments as, after he’s irritated all episode, he comes in hot, with both the cast and audience expecting him to chew out mordecai and rigby.. only he’s mad because they forgot drums are key to an earworm and saves the day with his drumwork. It’s a great subversion and one of the first times Benson was more than just the angry but understandable, at times, dickhead boss. Just an utter standout and one of the show’s most memorable episodes for a reason. Also the line “you can’t touch music but music can touch you’ is great. 

5. Meteor Moves ( Season 4, Episode 28)

This one was a long time coming and to me is a great example of writers taking their own shortcomings and making something awesome out of them. I prefer that: instead of just retconning away bad writing use it as a tool.. I try to do that myself when possible. See early in the show as you all probably know, Mordecai’s crush on Margret was just a plot device: he had a crush on the cute waitress at the coffee shop so they used it to get him to do things. A gratioutis shot of her in bike shorts got him to bet all computer rights for life that sort of thing. The show.. wasn’t great with female characters till season 3 and even as it grew, as season 6 and just.. forgetting to give CJ a proper ending as a character shows, still grappled with it. It took writer Kat Morris saying “no no stop go to jail” to them wanting ot make CJ a difficult woman type, whatever horrifying thing that is. I don’t want to know, let’s move on. The point is it wasn’t till season 3 that Margret and her best friends, and Rigby’s future wife, Eileen got fleshed out a bit: Eileen got smarter and turned out to be good at wilderness stuff while Margret was chill, nice, if annoyed by the chaos around mordecai, and funloving, while also having a clear goal in stark contrast to her future boyfriend: going to college. Even after coming back it was botha fter finsihing college and to start a career. It wasn’t incredibly deep, but it made me not be ehhh to her mere existance like before. The show also started developing her and Mordecai’s relationship seriously with the two bonding and the previously shown Butt Dial showing for the first time, after previously having a terrible taste in men and then just not noticing his crush, that she was receptive to how mordecai felt. And the two had several moments and two dates even, it just.. never went anywhere for some reason.

And this was INFURATING to me: See back then shows had a tendency to just pop in love intrests SOLEY for plot fuel like margret with no intention of following through with things either through rejection or a relationsihp upgrade and by then I was sick of it. The whole spike and rarity thing in MLP (which to be clear I wanted her to just reject him but nope, even after I stopped watching she never did. ), Isabella and Phineas. I was fed up so I went from being “eh” about it to annoyed supremely.. but the thing is the writers realized this.. and course corrected. The first step was picking up Margret, where Mordecai agrees to pick her up to get her to the airport for a college interview and we get a nice deconstruction of things as Margret is anticpatiing things going wrong, and wrongly blames Mordecai for it.. I mean it is his fault sometimes but half the time weird shit just follows him. However she’s won over by him working past it, getting her there in time and kisses him.  That blew me away and made me think well it’s finally here.. and it was.. ALMOST. However the creators wisely, if frustratingly to past me, took one more episode to iron it out: Metor Moves has the two growing closer, and semi-going out, but Rigby pops mordecai’s bubble pointing out he never actually made a boyfriend girlfriend move and her move could’ve gone either way. So Mordecai , after seasons of being wishy washy and awkward, finally decides to go for it as he, rigby, eileen and margret go to a metor shower.  Being Regular Show it dosen’t go as planned as his attempted kiss is blocked by the guardians of the friend zone.. which is a real, phantom zone esque place here and that’s just fantastic. And it’s also clearly mocking the hell out of the concept, which is dumb. if you want to ask someone out just do it, I learned that the hard way. And if you really are friends, if she says no then you’ll accept it and keep a friend anyway as I have. But it’s clearly parodying it and Mordecai get sreplayed all the times he ALMOST made a move but didn’t but refuses to accept this clusterfuck, realizes he was a screwup when it came to this.. and kisses her.. and this time the two enter a relationship> Granted it barely lasted but still, it was nice while it did and this ep is just great for it. While not the funniest, it’s up this high because it took somethign the show did wrong.. and turned it on it’s head and into a character flaw and had mordecai grow past it, with a genuinely romantic moment on top as well as an utterly funny and batshit concept. It also had some Rigleen, as by this point rigby stopped being a hateful wastebasket to her and warmed up to her, and I regret there’s no reigleen episodes on this list. Their the shows best couple and utterly adorable. Just wanted to mention that at least once this list. 

4. Laundry Woes (Season 5, Episode 1) From the begining to the end. While sadly Morderet didn’t last too long in canon, which blows, it did give us some great episodes while it lasted, as with the above entry and their breakup in Steak Me Amedeus. As mentioned before Margret left for college, which while abrupt feeling did pave the way for great stories: The Mordejay arc mentioned above and that will pop up again very soon, This was one of them: the ep while lacking on laughs is a good emotional rollercoaster and starts with an amazing montage that catches us up from the end of season 4: Mordecai is miserable, as you’d expect and wallowing in it with Benson, of all people, letting him. And given Benson seems to have a heart attack any time Mordecai and Rigby aren’t working, that’s huge. But eventually his friends refuse to let it go on and in a really touching montage help him through it, taking him out places, giving him good times and eventually.. the fog starts to lift and he starts to enjoy himself and by the end.. he’s himself again. It’s one of the series best sequences, told with no dialouge and showing just how far the rest of the cast had come: Benson actually wants to comfort mordecai but is encouraged not to at first, underfstandably as it probably woudlnt’ help, and a crew that were once, aside from Pops who much like Krillin is everyone’s friend, just coworkers who barely tolerated each other, and are now close as family and help their own in need.  But Grief isn’t a straight line and just as Mordecai’s recovering he’s sent spiraling when he finds Margret’s sweater and uses ita s a flimsy excuse to go return it. It’s here I also get to talk about Rigby, who grew from an impatient idiot who hated Mordecai’s romantic endevors and actively sabtoaged them at times, to an understandting wing man who, while understandably frustrated with his best friend’s own idiocy with women, turned out to know more and be the wise council he needed, triggering both is relationships and only bailing out during the season 6 clusterfuck and even then was there to comfort him after it was all over and go to his aid to pull him out of another misery hole. And here he gives Mordecai the hard truth: He shoudln’t do this, it’s just going to tear both him and margret up again and he just put himself back together. He’s not going to let his best friend do this to himself. And while there is a supernatural elment, the sweater comes to life and tries to get Mordecai to force margret back with him and give up college, likely voicing his darkest wants that he hates himself for wanting, but it feels more like a manfiestation of Mordecai’s own issues than the usual madness. Like “Trucker hall of Fame”, a rare senntence, it’s a less funny packed more grounded episode. And in the end it’s mordecai himself, after rejecting the ghost sweater and seeing his ex truly happy , that gets him to NOT talk to her and just.. let it go. IT’s a good emotional episode and SHOULD HAVE BEEN the end of their relationship... but i’ve ranted about the cheating storyarc enough here, moving right along. 

3. Portable Toilet (Season 5, Episode 16) Back to the Mordejay arc. And yes this arc is my faviorite and while I didn’t make it clear at the time I really shipped the two, even before it became canon. I had nothing against morderet, these two simply had more chemistry and these episodes built CJ up as more of a character than Margret was at the time. It’s why that later arc sucks so much to me: it destroys a perfectly good relationship and story arc for dumb reasons and never really did enough with it to justify doing so. I’ll get to it some day, or if someone comissions it soone rthan some day, but as you can tell i’m still sore over it and great eps like this are part of the reason why. It’s the same reason i’m sore on how Tom was handled on star vs. But as you can also tell as bitter and lemon scented as I am.. these eps are still objectivley great and thus took up a third of the list basically.  Case in point Portable Toilet, which zooms back a bit to when neither would admit they were into each other but were now friends at least. Also Eileen was CJ”s friend now because plot convience. I mean they worked, and it bothers me a lot that the creators claim cj washed her hands of her even though she’s not the one who made out with margret... which come to think of it adding her to rigleen.. not a bad idea. I mean Rigby didn’t really like margret true, but they did almost go out before mordecai killed him and then reset time because Mordecai’s always kinda sucked. I’ll file that away for later. But my new OTP aside, I did like the two bonding and what not.  Anyways with their outside park friend/RIgby’s future girlfriend now friends with Mordeai’s future girlfriend the four have apparently been hanging out which, while i’ve bemoaned off screen stuff at times, works here and regular show uses it better than most shows. While Rigby can clearly see Mordecai and CJ are into each other Mordecai is as we covered in denial and while that dosen’t really progress here, it does lead to one of teh shows finest hours. When talking would you rathers, CJ semi-flirtly dares Mordecai to eat his lunch sandwitch in a portable toilet, which he agrees to and drags a reluctant rigby along for. This being regular show, it goes south fast as the two get stuck, with Rigby’s clautrophiba kicking in leading to an amazing exchange Mordecai; Dude that makes no sense! Rigby: You’s makes no sense! While our dynamic duo try to get mordecai and rigby out the two are carted away and repalced with a new portable toilet, a deluxe one. Also we get another great bit when our dynamic duo find Muscle man, in a robe with choclate’s claming “Eileen, other girl, this isn’t weird” before screaming “This isn’t weird”. Turns out old portable toilets are taken to be blown up by the miltary and we get one of the shows best one off characters in the general, who not only explains it as “toilets being about the same size as the enmy” but when told he should call the president says “the preseident is not my father i’ll blow up as many toilets as I want.”. Spectacular. So now it’s a scramble for one twosome to rescue the other, Rigby lets out a cathartic “THANK YOUUU MORDECAI” over the flirty toilet dare, and the day is saved> This one is another pure comedy one, even if it ties into a plot I really like, and i’ts gold for obvious reasons and manages to take blowing up porta poties, a premise that dosen’t seem that funny, and make it utter comedic gold. Speaking of pure comic episodes that are utterly insane...

2. Cool Bikes (Season 3, Episode 7)

This one feels like regular show boiled down to it’s core: semi-relabtale hyjinks dovetalling into pure madness. And the premise sounds like a shit post i’d make: Mordecai and Rigby want benson to admit their cool and get into progressively weird outfits and tricks to their bycycles to do so, eventually becoming so cool their put on trial by the council of cool , ending up having to make a runner when Benson finally breaks down and admits it.  The premise is utterly stupid in the best way possible, with the conflict being the kind of petty bullshit we all get into from time to time with our aquantinces: not wanting to admit something and loose the argument withthings escalating. And in regular show terms it escalate sperfectly into the entire unvierse being threatned adn our heros being on trial for their lives. There’s not much to say here, it’s just pure comedic gold with a premise that just works. It also has good moments for Benson with his finally admitting they are cool and saving the duo’s lives whne he realized he just gave them a death sentence. Utter fun. And now we come to the finale, my faviorite episode...

1. Dodge This (Season 5, Episode 15) 

Yup this arc again. But this one has more than my ship going for it, and it’s why it soared to the top: It takes the excellent character work of other episodes and weaves it with excellent comedy to create an utter delight and the episode I remember most fondly and most often. It’s just great. The second part of the Mordeijay arc, not counting yes dude yes, the episode is half that and half sports movie: The Park Guys have been taking part in dodgeball as a team bulding thing and it shows how far Benson’s come as he not only praises mordecai, and launches the mordecai and benson ship in the process, but gives his team full wings and his full support, a far cry from his usual self. It’s also the first big instance of him getting hammered on wings and it’s glorious to see drunk flirty benson.  Benson is also genuinely congratulatory to the team’s ace mordecai, and most of them realy for b eing valuable and hopes to win this year.  IN their way are two things: The magical elements, aka the floating baby heads that gave skips his immortality, his friend with sparkly eyes who works for them and death himself whose a recurring character and fucking great and who were their bowling rivals too. The other is CJ is back, and Benson in another good moment actually talks mordecai through it and his nerves over it assuring him. So we get a great sports piece as our heroes work through various callbacks and even beat the magical elements iwth Rigby’s hilarious and rediculous rignado manuver, which is as dumb as it sounds and winged a guy hilaroiusly before with Benson scolding him like a toddler.  Of course it ends up with Mordecai and CJ against each other, both incredibly awkard over things as mentioned before, and both ending up in a stalmate that magical dodgeball guardians have to resolve because, let’s do this one last time. IT’S REGULAR SHOW. We do get a good moment though as the two work through their awkwardness: both thinking the other is rightfully mad: Mordecai for his two timer date with her and Margret and CJ for running out without talking to mordecai after they had a moment on new years. The both work past it, the park strikers loose,benson likely gets hammered again off screen.. it’s a good one and I have no shame in putting it at number one. It’s got heart, really great jokes, and some good charcter stuff, not to the level of other episodes on this list, but it wasn’t a full episode of that like those were and still works to move the plot forward and is still a classic. Just a fun, breezy, well done epsidoe fully rooted in the cast’s characters and getting laughs out of that.. mostly benson.  And with that this giangantic list comes to a close> I hope you enjoyed it, if you liked it follow me for more. I’ll be doing close enough coverage every week, as well as amphibia and owl house among other reviews. Until we meet again, later days. 

[lia-jones]

Growing Pains - Chapter Eleven - Sweet, Sweet Leverage

My alarm clock rang like it was insulting me. Due to yesterday’s events, I couldn’t sleep at all, replaying the entire dinner with Victor in my head, which led me to no conclusion at all. My head and my heart would not agree with each other, no matter how hard I tried. So I decided to completely drop the subject, or, even better, pretend that there was no subject at all. I had enough on my plate as it was, I couldn’t afford any more time on a one-sided crush.

I was finishing my breakfast and coffee, getting ready to leave, when someone rang my doorbell. It was Levi, the Krav Maga god, in all his glory. Freshly showered, his hair still wet, his muscles showing under his blue sweatshirt, beaming at me.

“Good morning, Andy.” He greeted me with a hug.

“Hey!” I said, hugging him back. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I’m sorry, I know it seems like I only come here to ask for favors, but-“

“You want me to walk Boris.” I interrupted him. “When?”

“Later tonight, if you don’t mind. I have training. And speaking of which, you didn’t go to last night’s training. I can’t remember you missing a single one. Is everything ok?”

“Everything is fine, my boss invited me to dinner, that's all.” I said, as I walked around the house looking for my phone.

“Your boss? The mean dude?” Levi made a face.

“Yes, and it turns out he’s not mean.” I said, looking for my phone between the cushions of my sofa.

“Can I help myself with some coffee from your pot?” Levi asked, going to my eating kitchen. “I forgot to buy ground coffee.”

“Sure, go ahead.” I yelled from my room. “Do you mind calling my phone? I can’t find it anywhere.”

After a minute, my phone started ringing. It was definitely inside my room, and it sounded muffled. After searching between the covers and under the pillows, I finally found it in the drawer of my nightstand. How did it get there? I have no idea.

“Found it!” I looked at the screen, it was 8:40 already. “Crap! I’m going to be-“ As I walked out of my room and into my kitchen I was met by Levi and… Victor. “Late. Good morning.”

“Good morning.” Victor was clearly in a bad mood. “Ready to go?”

Victor looked at me briefly, only to stare back at Levi, his eyes lit with anger and scorn. Levi was staring back at Victor, comfortably relaxed leaning against my kitchen counter, his legs crossed, a smug smile on his face as he sipped coffee from one of my mugs.

The air was suddenly hot and dense, the tension building in my kitchen. Suddenly I remembered I was late.

“I need to leave now. Nice seeing you, Levi.” I said, going for the door.

“Thanks for the coffee and for walking my dog.” Levi said, grabbing my head and kissing me on the forehead. “You’re such a sweetheart.” And with that, he went to his apartment, my mug still in his hand, closing the door behind him. I blinked.

“Don’t forget to lock your door.” Victor chimed in bitterly. “Or are you too smitten to care for your safety, sweetheart?”

“Oh, quit it.” I warned, not in the mood for his moodiness. “Why are you here anyway? Do you need something?” I said, locking my door and going downstairs.

“I came to pick you up. But it seems I interrupted whatever you were having with your little friend there.” Victor practically spat as he mentioned Levi, his words dripping with venom.

“Ok, listen.” I looked at Victor, ignoring his icy look, my expression dead serious. “Number one, although I appreciate the gesture, I do have a car. You don’t need to pick me up, and you really should call beforehand. If I wasn’t late, you probably wouldn’t even find me home.” Victor was about to retort but I raised my hand, and he kept quiet. “Second, not that’s any of your business, but Levi was there to ask me to walk his dog. That’s all. You didn’t interrupt anything.”

Victor unlocked his car and we got in. He didn’t start the car though, remaining seated, looking at the street through the windshield.

“He was drinking your coffee like he owned the place. He kissed you on the forehead. That is not nothing. That is intimacy.” Victor clenched his jaw, like he was stopping himself to speak any further.

“What are you talking about?” I was confused, I had no idea why he was acting like this, and I felt I was being punished for something I didn’t do. “I have no idea what led Levi to act that way, he was never like this before, but even if he was, what’s it to you? Why do you care?”

“What makes you think I do?” He asked coldly.

“Well, why are you so worked up then?” I faced Victor, daring him to deny it.

“This is going nowhere.” He said, starting his car. “We are late, we should go.”

The drive to LFG was tense, to say the least. Victor was clearly angry at me, and I had no idea why. And that made me angry at Victor, because I felt he had no right to intrude in my life like that. Sure, I had feelings for him, but I had no shred of evidence that he felt the same. We were just friends. Hell, I wasn’t even sure I could say we were friends in the first place.

We sat in our desks in silence, turning on our laptops. I didn’t want to spend the whole day with him fuming like this, since there was nothing to be mad about, at least from my perspective.

“I’m going to get some coffee. Would you like me to bring you a cup?” I asked softly, raising the proverbial white flag.

“I’m fine, thank you.” He didn’t even look up from the computer, his tone showing me he was still angry. Fine, Mr. Lee. Have it your way.

When I returned, coffee in hand, I found the office empty. Victor had already left, his laptop and phone gone with him. He probably had an emergency meeting. I let out a sigh of relief, at least the tension was gone. And maybe the meeting would be enough of a distraction to make him forget about all the craziness of that morning and return in a better mood.

 I grabbed my earphones, put some relaxing music on, and started to work. It was going to be a busy day. After a while, I was startled with the sound of the office door being forcefully open.

“Where’s that entitled little prick?!?” I flew from my chair when I recognized the voice.

“Ted?!? What are you doing here?”

Ted looked like he was as in shock as I was.

“You’re here?!?!?” He practically screamed. “You really are a go-getter, aren’t you, you sneaky little bitch! Fucking the CEO to get your way up to the top!”

I didn’t even reply. I bolted to the phone to try to call security. My body froze when I heard the cock of a gun.

“I wouldn’t try that unless you want me to decorate the bastard’s office with your brains.”

My mind was running wild, skimming through everything I had learned in my Krav Maga training. I knew I could hurt him badly, but for that I needed to be close, and he had a gun, so that wasn’t an option. Even if he didn’t shoot me, one of the shots he would fire could go through the glass windows and land on someone else. I looked at the windows, remembering someone could have seen already what was happening. All hope vanished in an instant, when I saw the blinds were down.

“Turn around.” I heard Ted’s voice again, closer to me now. I obeyed. Ted walked in my direction, making me lean on Victor’s desk, his body extremely close to mine, his gun against my chest. He ran it down across my stomach.

“You were never this cozy with me when I was your supervisor. Not powerful enough, I guess?” His gun left my stomach and traced my jawline. I shivered at the cold metallic touch, whimpering softly. “Aw, is the kitty scared?” He cooed at me. “Don’t worry, daddy is going to show you what you’ve been missing.”

He was interrupted by the sound of the door opening again. It was Victor. He froze for a second, registering the fact that Ted had me at gunpoint.

“Let go of her!” Victor roared, his expression fierce. He was about to run to Ted, but stopped dead on his tracks when he spotted the gun.

Ted lifted his armed hand, placing the edge of the gun under my chin.

“Easy, tiger… Not so brave now, that I can finish her right here, are you?” Ted teased. “Just sit back and enjoy, we were about to have a private show… But it doesn’t have to be so private, does it, cutie pie?”

My stomach turned, and for a moment I thought I was going to vomit.

“Let her go, Ted. She has nothing to do with this.” Victor’s voice was calm, but I could hear traces of rage and panic. “It’s me you want. I’m here. Let her go.”

“Oh, no, that is not going to happen. I know how much you like your precious little pet.” Ted forced the gun on my chin, tilting my head up, like he was admiring a prey. “If I let her go, I lose my leverage.” He held my cheeks roughly with both hands, making me face him. I noticed the barrel of the gun was facing upwards, not towards me.

“And you’re such a sweet, sweet leverage, aren’t you?” My stomach did a double turn when I saw his face come closer to mine, and I realized what he was about to do.

I found my opportunity when the bastard tried to kiss me. I forcefully grabbed the hand holding the gun and slammed it on the edge of the desk, hurting Ted's tendons and making him drop the weapon. Seeing Victor bolt to the ground to get it, I slammed my knee to Ted’s crotch, making him double himself in pain, and took the opportunity to slam it again against his nose. Ted slumped to the ground, knocked out.

Victor moved to the phone to call security, gun in his hand, eyes on Ted. I leaned against the wall, trying to catch my breath.

“Are you ok? Did he do something to you? Did he hurt you?” Victor softly held me by the shoulders and search my body with his eyes, probably looking for any injury. His jugular was jumping like crazy.

“I’m fine, he didn’t hurt me.” I said, feeling my stomach turn one more time.

Security came and handcuffed Ted, still passed out on the floor. Victor instructed them to take him downstairs and call the police, turning to me again.

“Are you sure you're feeling well? You look pale.” He searched my face again. “That’s it, I’m taking you to the hospital.”

My stomach turned again, and I immediately knew I had no time to chat. I bolted to Victor’s private bathroom and kneeled by the toilet, emptying the contents of my stomach in it. I felt warm hands in my neck grabbing my hair, pulling it up gently, until nothing would come out of my but a painful dry heave. I sat up, exhausted.

“Rinse.” Victor said, as he handed me a glass of water. I rinsed my mouth, spitting the water into the toilet and flushing it. He put the glass on the sink, and kneeled beside me.

“Feeling better?” Victor asked, as he softly stroke my back.

“Yes.” I wanted to sound strong, but it came like a whimper. Victor’s arms were suddenly around me, pressing hard, his face on my hair, his hand on the back of my neck.

“What you did was really stupid. Fighting him like that.” Victor’s voice, low and soft, whispered in my ear.

I didn’t reply. I didn’t realize how much I needed the comfort of his arms until I was enveloped in his embrace. I hugged him back, letting myself just be there for as long as he would let me.

[jimlingss]

Jungle Park [Finale]

Chapter 23 - Chapter 24 [Finale]

➜ Words: 6.4k

➜ Genres: Fluff, Light Humour (?), Slice of Life, Workplace Romance!AU

➜ Summary: The equation is simple. Hoseok needs to hire someone. You need a job. Except like any actual equation, it’s not fucking simple at all! Not when you have to add the fact that he was forced to hire someone he doesn’t want in his office, he has little respect for your job in general, and oh yeah...once upon a time you might have loved each other.

➜ NOTES: This is it, y’all. Thank you for having joined me on such a long journey. I hope you enjoyed the entire series. Thank you for reading :’)

Cr.

Sometimes life can be so entirely mundane that you forget your surroundings. The routine falls into place, yesterday becoming today, tomorrow a reflection of all the other days until time blurs altogether. Your body goes on autopilot, mind operating somewhere else as your skin and bones carry forth. And that’s how sometimes, you snap awake again and wonder:   How the hell did I get here?   But such a moment doesn’t exist often for you anymore.   When it does, it’s made less from misery and boredom and more from contentment. These ordinary days are the ones you love and cherish the most. As mundane as it is, the normalcy that lacks pandemonium offers a peace of mind. You’re happy. And Jung Hoseok is by your side, always acting as the lovely chaos that has your heartbeat thundering, that keeps your mind preoccupied, that fills brighter shades of colour into your world.   You wouldn’t want it any other way.   “Where are you off to this evening?” you ask while closing your door, hands gripping on the steering wheel.   The young girl in the backseat smiles into the rear-view mirror, meeting your eyes. “The airport, please.”   Your hands move against the wheel and you pull away from the curb, merging onto the street. For the most part, you’ve enjoyed this job. The fair share of rude and self-entitled passengers exists, but also the interesting and friendly bunch too. There’s just something about being able to get a glimpse into people’s lives, especially since they’re people you wouldn’t normally meet or speak to. It makes you feel so small in this universe to know that everyone has a place they’re going to, that we’re all making our own journeys and heading to our destinations.   And today, this chapter of your life ends.   “Are you traveling somewhere? Business trip?”   The girl in the backseat blushes, cheeks nearly bursting. “Actually, I’m going to visit my boyfriend.”   “Really? That’s so nice!” You’ve witnessed couples reuniting at the airport many times before, leaping into each other’s arms before even getting a word in. It’s always such a sweet scene that imagining it has you melting in your seat.   The girl is in a dreamy state as well, looking out the window, sheepish and happy. “Yeah, I was transferred to a different branch at my job, so we’ve been in a long distance relationship for a while now. But today, my work here ended, so I’m gone for good. Finally going home.”   “I bet he misses you.”   Your passenger laughs, glancing at her phone, features illuminated by the white light of her screen. “He can’t stop texting me and he says he can’t sleep either. I haven’t even gotten on my flight yet, but I think he’s already at the airport waiting for me.”   “That is so adorable.” Sappy couples used to make you feel envious, but not anymore. As she says these things, you imagine a certain someone doing the exact same for you.   “He is,” she agrees, smiling to herself for a moment before looking up again. “Sorry, but do you know how much the fare will be?”   “Oh.” Your smile is still stuck on your face, unable to erase it. “Don’t worry about it. It’s going to be on me for tonight.”   “A-are you sure?”   “It’s not a problem. You’re actually my last passenger….ever.” A satisfied sigh slips through the seams of your lips. There’s something that tells you you’re going to look back and miss this feeling one day. You know you’ll drive again, but never with strangers, never not knowing who will enter the backseat, of not knowing where you’ll be going. “The lease for this taxi is up and I won’t be renewing. I’m actually just doing this one last shift for old time’s sakes.”   “Oh, well, congratulations!” She’s pleasantly surprised, eyes big and curious. “How long have you been driving for?”   “On and off for about two years.”   The girl hums. “What will you be doing now then?”   “I actually have a day job. I work as an HR manager at a law firm,” you tell her in a way as if you’re reminding yourself and declaring it to the world at the same time. A sense of pride flows through your body and she matches your smile. “And I love it.”   For a moment, you wonder what if it was your past-self sitting in the backseat right now. Would she have ever expected to be here? To have landed the career that she’s always wanted, to be with a person who she adores, to have become someone proud of who they are, and to never have to clean up another girl’s vomit off of leather, again?   Probably not.   //   “This is ridiculous!”   The man paces around, polished loafers pounding against the carpet as he storms around, arms crossed, trying to walk off his rage. He’s wrinkling his own blazer and stretching his dress pants, but the man behind the desk doesn’t make any comments. He’s too busy rubbing his temples with his thumbs, leaning back in his swivel chair.   “Taehyung…”   “Listen, Chim, my buddy, my pal.” The lawyer stops and comes to grip the back of the empty chair. “I get Sunyi and Yoongi are all lovey-dovey now that they’re together. Nothing against them. I’m happy for them. Trust me I am,” the blonde’s voice drops down into a whisper, “but I never wanted to watch them tongue-fucking each other. It’s not as hot as you would think. If anything, it made my wiener shrivel into my balls.”   Taehyung says it like he’s disappointed, as if his dreams have been crushed and all traces of Jimin’s professionalism shatters in front of his eyes. He sinks his teeth into his bottom lip, trying to hold down his giggles. “Dude.”   “I dropped my ham croissant, bro. You know, the special from down the street they rarely have anymore. I dropped it when I saw them.” Taehyung grieves for his lost food, “I dropped it.”   “I’ll get you another one.”   “They’re out of them by ten! You can’t!”   For once, Jimin doesn’t know what to do. He’s still holding back his laughter before composing himself again with a deep breath, leaning back in his seat to assess the situation. He hasn’t mediated an office conflict in a long time and while he’ll admit he’s rusty, he also doesn’t want to come up with a solution without you. “Where’s Y/N?”   “She’s not in yet.”   “Then wait for her or talk to Hoseok. I can’t do anything about it until the end of the day. I have a meeting that starts in less than fifteen minutes.”   “You know what?” Taehyung stands straighter and he nods to himself like he’s come up with his own decision. “That’s a good idea — I’ll talk to Hoseok.”   “Wait. Really?”   The lawyer shrugs. “Yeah, why not? He’s cool.”   “Hoseok….” Jimin’s not sure he’s hearing it right. He never thought there would be a day that the employees of this office would feel this comfortable with his partner. The change was so gradual, but now he realizes it and it brings tears of joy to his eyes. “.....is cool?”   “Yeah,” Taehyung scoffs as if to say that it’s obvious. “He’d probably understand and reimburse me for that croissant and do something about my trauma. Plus, he gets office romances. You don’t see him and Y/N kissing up on each other all day.”   The senior partner’s mind reels. His brows furrow, caught off guard on how Taehyung knows. “Wait. What?”   But by then, he’s already walked out of Jimin’s office, beelining straight to the other partner’s office without an ounce of hesitation. But as he marches forward, he runs into you instead, as well as Hoseok who was apparently just arriving too. “Oh, Y/N! I was looking for you! Good morning.”   “Mornin’,” you chirp back in a happy tone. “Did you need me for something?”   “Yes, please. I was gonna ask Hoseok, but you’re even better.”   “Well alright, I’ll take it as a compliment! Follow me!” You wave your arm, signaling down the hall and he grins, trotting along after you like you’re both on a kid’s television show. The pair of you head towards your office and shut the door. Hoseok is left a bit flabbergasted before he melts into a soft smile, shaking his head at how you’re practically running the show around here and not him.   “Good thing I came to you all that time ago demanding you hire someone for a human resource position, huh?” Jimin approaches Hoseok’s side, arms crossed, fully satisfied as he looks down the hallway, the space where you just occupied. “My stubbornness once again helped us out.”   “Your stubbornness is the reason why we had that hideous pink wallpaper at the front desk for the first two months of our firm opening,” he murmurs with a slight tinkering laugh.   There’s a pause before he counters, “We took it down eventually.”   Hoseok scoffs and then laughs again. They both walk into the kitchen, standing side by side at the counter, waiting for the coffee machine. “You have to give me credit for hiring the right person. I was the one who did it.”   “If I remember correctly, you forgot about it and I was the one who picked up her résumé from the pile.” Jimin fills up his mug again, taking a small sip and warming his tummy up.   “Fine, fine,” Hoseok gives in with a playful twinkle glistening in his irises. “The credit goes to Park Jimin. Good job — if it weren’t for you, our office would be in shambles.”   “Thank you.” He gloats from the praise, rosy cheeks puffed out. “But just letting you know, we’re going to need Y/N for a long time.” Jimin pats his partner’s shoulder, sharing a sympathetic smile as he brushes past. “Sunyi and Yoongi are going to cause problems for us until they both retire or get high blood pressure and die from heart attacks.”   “Great.” Hoseok grins, laughing at the thought.   The brunette lawyer returns to his office, but he stops for a second and takes a peek behind him. People are tapping away at their keyboards, preoccupied with documents and files upon files. A few legal assistants are helping the others, running across the office floor. The receptionists pick up the phones that ring, calmly answering in a soft volume. The photocopier whirrs to life, one or two murmurs spoken before it’s silenced down, accompanying the rhythm of papers being flipped. It’s the glorious sound of work.   But the atmosphere of the office is less tense than it was before. It’s brighter, open, and even his partner seems to be that way as well.   There was a time when Jimin couldn’t remember when Hoseok wasn’t so serious, stern, and wrapped up in his work. But nowadays, he was so full of life, it was almost burdensome. Still, Jimin missed that bubbly side of him. It was great to see that part of his personality again.   Jimin takes another long look, feeling oddly nostalgic before he steps into his office and shuts the door.   //   In the heart of the metropolis are soaring towers, corporate offices and companies, business and enterprises that you are proud to be a part of. The firm is large and full of glass, from the giant windows to the glass of the conference room. When you look up over top the front desk, you find the name imprinted on the wall. Jung and Park.   You don’t feel so out of place or intimidated like you used to. The blazer and pencil skirt fits you perfectly well, having no need to be tugged on or smoothed out by your hands. In the past year, so many things have changed that it baffles you. You can still remember the first time you were in this conference room, absolutely petrified, hands shaking, forehead sweaty, palms clammy.   But some things never change. One of them being Hoseok. He’s still tall with dark hair, dressed in a fitted suit, sun-kissed skin glowing. His mere presence commands your attention. There’s always been something about him that makes him so alive.   “Well, first off, I should preface by saying that you’ve been doing a stellar job.”   “Are you saying that or are you being personally biased?”   The lawyer’s brow lifts. “Do you think I’m being biased?”   You shrug. “Maybe.”   “Alright.” Hoseok grins discreetly, scribbling down onto his paper with a pen at the same time as he mumbles what he’s writing, “employee believes employer is being biased.”   Laughter bubbles up your throat. “Why couldn’t Jimin do my performance review? This has to be a conflict of interest.”   “He’s busy and this is just a formality anyways.”   “So you’re not busy?”   “Oh, are you insinuating that I don’t have any work?” Hoseok’s enormous smile returns and he jots another note down on the paper in front of him, muttering at the same time, “employee believes employer is lazy.”   “C’mon!” You’re weakly protesting, unable to take this seriously. “You can’t just write down everything I say to you!”   Hoseok chuckles and finally puts his pen down. “I’m ahead of my work.”   “That makes more sense. You know...HR is supposed to sit in on performance reviews.”   “We can’t have our HR person doing their own evaluation.”   “Why not? I’d think I’d be quite fair.” “Oh, really now?” He flashes a questionable expression. “Then what would you say about yourself? How has your work ethic been?”   “I think….I’ve been stellar!” You say it with confidence and he scoffs jokingly, causing you to challenge him. “What? You think I’m wrong?”   “You were late to work a few times,” he points out.   “Because I held another job.”   Hoseok hums and flips a page, becoming more serious as he assesses the past few months. “Your performance is very well done actually. Consistent demonstration of enthusiasm and diligence in work across all areas.”   “Thank you.” You beam at him.   He smiles, unable to help himself. Throughout the conversation, he asks about your professional goals, goes over expectations again, your accomplishments, and establishes aims for your solo department. At the end, the pair of you stand up, shaking each other’s hand to conclude the successful meeting.   “You’ve done a very good job.”   “I appreciate that, Mr. Jung,” you deadpan with a hint of mischief.   His grip on your hand is still there, shaking it up and down across the table awkwardly to the point where outsiders would think it was actually a passive aggressive action. Except, they wouldn’t notice how tender his hold on you is. “I also recognize your effort to remain professional and not let any….private matters interfere in your work.”   “Of course not.” Your hand is still holding his, going up and down with no signs of stopping, nearly causing you to break and smile. “I take my job very seriously.”   “As do I.”   “Then would you like to let go of my hand, sir?”   “Yes, of course.” He grins, reluctantly letting go, skin skimming against each other before your arm drops to your side.   You dip your head slightly, preparing to exit the room. “Thank you again.”   Hoseok nods, waving before slipping his hand into his dress pants pocket, trying to act all chic and cool. “I’ll talk to you soon,” he addresses, leaving after you.   The both of you end up walking your separate ways. The man returns to his office. And as you make your way to your own office, you can’t help but turn around to stare at his broad backside becoming smaller in the distance. It feels like déjà vu for some reason...   But then Hoseok turns around as well, meeting your eyes and a stupid smile spreads across his face. His eyes crinkle, dimples marked on both sides of his cheeks, radiant as the sun. Then he throws a wink and turns back around. Unfortunately for him, he accidentally misses his office by a few feet and bumps into the wall instead of going through the door. You stifle down a giggle and no one else seems to notice the terribly embarrassing, yet endearing accident.   It doesn’t matter if Hoseok doesn’t remember the past. Right now and the future from today are much more important to the both of you. “Hoseok.”   “Hmm?”   The both of you are cuddling on the couch together. You’re curled up on his side while his arm drapes over you, watching television together. It’s some stupid survivor show and you hope that douchebag gets casted off for hoarding all the food. But while you watch, a more important thought comes to mind.   You turn your head to stare. The profile of his face is illuminated by the faint white light coming from the screen. He’s clad in cotton pajamas, dark hair tousled and just out of the shower, smelling like lavender soap and fresh linen. It’s cozy being beside him like this and you feel at home.   At your prolonged silence, Hoseok turns to look at you, eyes locking into his.   “What is it?” A smile of mirth pulls on his face, forming into a boyish grin. “Why are you staring at me like that?”   “I love you.”   If possible, Hoseok’s smile expands until his cheeks are swelling. You match his smile before cringing, realizing what just tumbled out your mouth. Your shoulders tense, but he pulls you closer. “Sorry, I don’t know where that came from,” you murmur.   “What do you mean you don’t know where that came from? You’re too cute.” He laughs, a tinkling noise coming from his chest and he hugs you, nuzzling into your hair. “I love you too.”   Your hands are placed on his shoulders and you tug him away for a moment. “Do you ever get worried we’re just repeating the same mistakes as back then?”   He becomes serious and honestly considers it for a long moment before answering, “no.”   “What if we don’t work out?”   “Then we don’t,” he says point-blank, but then Hoseok’s streak of optimism comes out. “But I’m going to try hard to make it work and I know you will too. Because I love you and you love me. And...I believe in us.”   A hopeful and content sigh is exhaled softly. “Me too.”   Hoseok returns back to the television, still holding you as he watches. “Plus, I’m not an immature asshole anymore.” There’s silence. “Right?” There’s more silence and he pulls away from the screen, fingers finding your sides and mercilessly tickling you. “Right?!”   “Yes, yes!” You giggle and he finally stops. Your head tilts. “And sorry to say, but my life doesn’t revolve around you either.”   The lawyer sulks and leans his forehead against yours. “You really think you could survive without me?”   “Yes.” You attempt to repress your smile, failing while doing so.   “Wow, I see how this is. You’re just going to end up running off with someone younger and hotter than me, aren’t you? Like Jungkook or the HR assistant you want me to hire!”   “What?” You’re snorting, shaking your head. “Who says?”   Hoseok tries to pout, though the corners of his mouth tilts into a smile. He chortles, ripping the blanket away from your bodies and moving to sit on you instead. He traps you beneath him and your hands are up, scared of another tickle torture attack. “You think I don’t know about JK? And how you keep insisting on hiring someone to make coffee runs for you? I know your scheme! You’re going to tie me down, marry me, then steal my money and run off with your boy toys! You thought I didn’t know? Well I have news for you, Miss. Y/N — I’m a divorce lawyer! You’re not getting a single penny!”   You’re laughing and he continues to hold you down, laughter bubbling out of him as well. “Say what you want, Jung Hoseok, but I know you’re whipped for me! You’ll do whatever it takes to keep me around!”   “Oh, so you admit it, huh?! You’re trying to tie me down and marry me and then rip me off!”   “Okay, you got me!” you challenge him, still struggling against his hold, but finding the circumstances too funny to actually fight back. “What are you going to do?”   “I’ll give you exactly what you want.” Hoseok grins, mouth pulled into a slight heart-shape as he teases you without mercy. “I’ll tie you down and marry you, but I won’t let you leave! How will you run off with your boy toys then?”   “I’m being held hostage!” you scream in the midst of giggles. “Help!”   It’s so silly. You feel like you’ve both regressed ten years back into children again playing dumb games. If your mom saw you now, she’d probably sigh and then send you two to the hospital to get yourselves checked out. But this is why you adore him.   Hoseok is sociable, hyperactive, bubbly. He’s also sulky, pouty and childish, especially when he doesn’t get his way. And then there’s the serious part of him, the stern aspect of his personality that gets things done, reliable and sincere in his work. He not only feels like a fun companion in your life, but a dependable partner. You’re endeared by all sides of him.   Even if it doesn’t work out this time, you’d be willing to try again and again and again.   Because you’re an idiot who loves him and he’s a dumbass that loves you.

[Epilogue]   “We’re going to be late!”   “We still have ten minutes.”   “What if traffic’s bad?”   “It won’t be!”   The pair of you are running around like headless chickens in the apartment. Time was ticking faster than anyone had noticed and you were behind by twenty minutes, but it was fashionable to arrive late...right?   You stumble out of the washroom finally, finding him in front of the mirror in the bedroom. He turns at the sight of you. “What do you think?”   Hoseok’s hands stop and he scans you up and down, from head to toe, and the corner of his lips tugs upwards. “Stunning.”   “Is it too flashy?” You do one slow spin in your heels, looking down at the floral print dress and how you’ve done yourself up. “I don’t want to take away from the bride.”   “You’ll always take away from any bride,” he murmurs. “You’re too beautiful.” At his cheesy compliment, you scoff and brush him off. Hoseok points to his own situation. “Can you help me with my tie? I can’t get it for some reason.”   “‘Course.” You meet him at the mirror in three strides and he tilts his head back as you undo and loop it properly again. “I can’t believe they’re getting married.”   “It’s just an engagement party.”   “Still. It happened so fast. I didn’t think Yoongi would propose so soon.”   “He said he had to tie Sunyi down before she changed her mind.” He smiles, recalling his friend’s laments. “It’s been a year since we caught them in the act, so they’ve been together for what? Three years? That’s actually a pretty long time.”   “God, don’t remind me of that incident. I don’t want to remember.” You shudder, shaking your head before finishing. “There.”   “Thanks.” Hoseok adjusts the top knot slightly in the mirror.   You brush his shoulders, picking off a bit of fluff that’s stuck on his navy suit jacket. “Are you going to wear this to Hani and Daehwi’s wedding next month?”   “Maybe. Not sure yet.” He leaves the bedroom, grabbing the car keys on the way while you beeline towards the front door. “Did you RSVP already?”   “Of course. Their invitation is still on the coffee table, but I already responded.”   “We’re going to have to take a week off for their destination wedding.”   Before getting in the car, you look over and he smiles. “We only need a few days.”   “Yeah, but might as well stay there a bit longer and turn it into a vacation.”   You laugh. “Aren’t we already traveling together in a week?”   “Different occasions.” Hoseok shrugs and shuts the door, putting the keys in the ignition and firing up the engine. He looks over his shoulder as he backs out, palms turning the steering wheel appropriately.   “Are you sure it’s alright to miss that much work?”   “Well, I am the boss.”   “And so is Jimin.”   “He’ll be fine with it,” Hoseok insists with a smile. “We also have Wendy’s party to attend after that too.”   You grin, having almost let it slip your mind. “Right. I’ll admit, I’ve never been to a party celebrating a divorce before, but it sounds interesting.”   “It’ll be interesting, alright.” He leans back whilst driving, eyes focused ahead on the road. “Knowing that old woman, she’ll probably hire male and female strippers and have an ice sculpture to herself and enough chocolate fondue to rub our bodies in it.”   A giggle flows from your throat, feeling more excited for that event than going on that Europe trip with Hoseok. “Don’t tell her she’s old or she’ll beat you up and I won’t be able to do anything about it but film evidence from afar.”   “I’ll press assault charges,” he mumbles with a grin, imagining being in court with his old mentor for that reason. It’s comical and one daydream he’ll have to indulge in later.   Work has been better than ever. Jung and Park are thriving with the hard work that’s been put into it. It would take a lot for them to fail and become Jimin’s dream — Jungle Park, the playground equipment company for kids. Nevertheless, the divorce firm has been expanding with two more hired lawyers and three paralegals that you’re in the process of training.   The floor is expanding too. There were discussions of moving the firm elsewhere, but Jimin’s too sentimental about the office space and would rather just improve what they have.   Aside from work, lives were changing as well. Naul is in the process of planning an early retirement and start the golden years to travel with her husband around the world. Yoongi and Sunyi are getting married, and your friends are too.   As for you, you may or may not have overheard a conversation Hoseok was having with your mom — one that consisted of her nagging and being overbearing and ending with him promising to pop the question within this year. You also heard from a little birdy that he went ring shopping with his sister, and his parents have been mentioning a lot about grandkids lately….though that might be more down the line.   “Oh my goodness! Sunyi, you look so gorgeous!”   The female was glowing in her sparkling black gown and you can only imagine what she’ll look like in a wedding dress when the time comes. “Thank you.”   “She keeps joking this is her funeral get-up,” Yoongi sighs as a greeting, half hugging both you and Hoseok.   “Look, I’m just mourning for the loss of my singleness, okay?” she snaps and smiles when he rolls his eyes.   “Please. Don’t act like you don’t love me. We’ve been together for over three years.”   “Yeah, enough for me to want to blow my brains out,” Sunyi jokes around and he lightly scoffs.   “Get over here.” Yoongi has a gummy grin and pulls her in by her waist. He kisses her while smiling before the innocent act becomes more passionate and lustful. You blink, exchanging expressions with Hoseok, feeling like you’re infringing on their privacy. But they eventually pull away from each other, breathless and with swollen lips.   “This is allowed, right?” Sunyi wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, not at all bothered with how her lipstick has smeared and ended up on her fiancé’s face. If anything, there’s a twinkle of mischief in her irises. “We’re not in the office right now.”   “Yes, this is allowed,” you ease them with a laugh. “It’s fine.”   “Good.” She hugs Yoongi’s side and then motions to you both, snickering under her breath. “You guys act like you don’t do this either.”   “What?”   “We’re not the only ones in an office romance,” the female teases.   Hoseok looks at his old friend. “You told her?”   “You knew?” Sunyi raises her brows at Yoongi and he shrugs. She sighs, brushing it off to look at you, delivering the news, “Taehyung told everyone like twenty minutes before you came. He mentioned it out of nowhere and a lot of us were surprised. Pretty sure Seulgi and Jin are somewhere having a mental breakdown, so you should probably talk to them. But some of them saw it coming or at least that’s what Naul said.”   “Wait.” You hold your hands up, being bombarded with too much information, but one thing stands out to you. “Taehyung told you?”   You turn to stare at Hoseok and this time, he’s the one who shrugs. “I don’t know how he knows.”   “There they are!” Jimin’s giggling and he comes out from the crowd, gesturing to you all. “My lovebirds! It feels like all my children grew up and married each other.”   He pretends to cry, wiping away his fake tears and Lisa follows after him with a frown and crossed arms. “Is that supposed to be an Office reference?”   One by one, the entire office gathers together again and crowds up the main entrance. But everyone’s too busy conversing and laughing to notice.   “I can’t believe you didn’t tell us.” Jin is overdramatic, voice moving up in pitches. “Aren’t we family?!”   “Just wanted to say,” Taehyung butts in, “I was the first to know based on my own stellar observations.”   “Actually, Jungkook was the first.” Everyone gawks at you and then cranes their necks over to the youngest lawyer who’s sheepish.   “Umm...yeah.”   Hoseok quirks his head. “Really?”   Seulgi throws her arms into the air. “Unbelievable.”   “Makes you wonder what other kinds of secrets there are,” Namjoon comments while sipping on his drink.   Dahyun steps forward with a bright smile. “I saw Jin bringing someone into Hoseok’s office a few months back.”   The legal assistant gasps at the receptionist. “Wow, you’re exposing me now?”   “I can attest to that,” Inyoung sing-songs.   “My office?!” Hoseok’s mouth drops in disbelief. He isn’t too pleased. “Are you crazy?”   “Listen, no one’s ever done it in your office before, so I just had to have a go in it.”   “I think I’ve been too relaxed lately,” he mutters, still reeling from the thought. “I haven’t been strict enough.”   “Great, you just summoned Hoseok, the dictator, back,” Lisa deadpans.   “Actually, that’s not true, guys,” Min Yoongi pipes up. His arms are behind his back and he interrupts, grinning like he has some secret to tell. “Hoseok’s done it in his own office before.”   “What?” — “With Y/N?” — “That’s wild.”   “Oh my god.” Your face is on fire, absolutely mortified at this conversation. “We’re going to need to have another seminar on workplace romance and PDA.”   Taehyung salutes you. “I’ll look forward to it on Monday!”   You laugh, too happy to be standing here with these people around you. Of all the places you could’ve worked at, of all the places you could’ve been, all the jobs you could be doing and all the people you could have met...you are grateful that you picked this place and that they picked you.   The feeling of overwhelming gratitude is only amplified with Hoseok’s warm presence by your side.

The first time you met Hoseok was in class thirteen years ago. It was during the second year of your undergraduate degree where you were working to obtain a degree in commerce while he was in political science and dance. By sheer coincidence, you both ended up in a finance class together.   You thought nothing of him. He was the one who talked to you first. It wasn’t much of a start. But eventually, you were in a group project together, only for you to ditch him and leave him at the library since you were winning Monopoly at your board game club. Needless to say, you two failed at said project.   But for some unknown reason, Hoseok didn’t hate you. He asked you out twice. And that was the beginning of a four year long relationship. Of graduating together, moving across the country for him to go to law school and how you came along, of living together and having a pregnancy scare that led to an engagement. It was the whirlwind of having him break it off and leaving you in a city that you didn’t know, with a future that you had created and built entirely around him broken.   The second time you met Hoseok again, it was when you were searching for another job.   You applied to the position that was offered at his firm, and he interviewed and hired you.   “Welcome to the team.” The handsome dark-haired male greets you at the front with a slight smile and nod. He exhales and glances at his watch. “I’ll show you around and help you get settled.”   Afraid, intimidated, scared, you were pretty sure he hated you for taking control of the office and making so many changes. But you held your ground, challenging his every will head on, bickering and arguing, never wavering when he and everyone else gave you a hard time.   “Where are the safety requirements of this office? Does it even exist? And you know you can’t overwork these people! There are no vacation times and their pay is low!”   “Low?! If you think it’s low then what I make is low too! If someone has a problem with their pay, then they should directly come talk to me and we’ll deal with it!”   “Obviously everyone feels too threatened to come and talk to you!”   “We run a business not a charity. I knew this was a bad idea. I knew it. They’re using this as leverage to complain and whine and do no work.”   “These are legitimate concerns. If you care about these people, then you’d care about this too. I’m just trying to do my job.”   “And I’m trying to do mine!”   “But you listen to no one but yourself.”   “I can’t do this anymore.” Hoseok shakes his head and shouts for his partner’s help— “Jimin!”   “Fine.” You throw your hands up. “If you want to be this way, let’s talk with someone who’s more rational. Jimin!”   But he called a truce after you were stuck in an elevator with him. He brought down your guard during lunches spent in cozy hole-in-the-walls, worming his way closer while standing next to each other on the subway station, holding your hand while making the hard trek on a mountain, huddled together and chatting during workplace parties. He was there during your accident, there when you were ill, when you needed him the most.   And he’s here now.   While you might not know what will happen tomorrow, a year, or a decade from now, it’s different than before. He’s holding your hand and not letting go. The two of you are building a future together.   “Hey, I finished.”   “The staff handbook?” Hoseok flips through the crisp pages with a smile. You hum a low note, leaning in to plant a soft kiss on his swelling cheek tinged pink. He holds it to his chest after skimming over it quickly. “Can I keep the first ever copy?”   “Yes, you can.” You pull away, going into the kitchen. “But hurry, the food’s almost done. You can read it later.”   Jung and Park is written in cursive on the front page with your name signed on the bottom. His hands touch against the smooth cover and he walks to his home office, placing it on the desk. He’s about to leave, but his eyes stray off elsewhere.   Hoseok tugs open his desk drawer, lifting up a useless file to find a small black box in the corner hidden away. He grabs it, putting it into his pants pocket and he smiles to himself.   “Hobi!” you call his name from the kitchen.   “Coming!” He’s decided. Tonight is perfect.   Jung Hoseok walks off with his hands still holding the ring box.

You’re fortunate to know Hoseok. You’re even luckier to meet him for a second time and experience it all over again — to get to know him from the start, learn about his habits again, to become his best friend once more and discover your lives together. It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t remember. And if he were to forget again, you wouldn’t mind doing it over and over again.   A life beside Hoseok, you can’t think of anything better.   “Um, excuse me.” You feel a hesitant tap on your left shoulder and a smooth voice sounding beside you. When you turn your head, your eyes grow wide. The guy next to you is actually talking to you. It’s the first time you’re actually looking at him.   You realize he has pretty brown eyes, ruffled black hair, sun-kissed skin covered by his grey hoodie and jeans, effortlessly casual…...and you’re underwhelmed.   He looks like any other university guy and you have no idea why he’s bothering you right now. You didn’t sign up to actually talk to anyone in class.   “Do you have the lecture notes from the last class? I wasn’t here….”   Oh. That’s why he’s talking to you. “Yeah, I can send you them if you need it.”   “That would be great.” The stranger’s eyes twinkle and he gives off a feeling of mischief. He’s friendly, making you feel more at ease with how warm he is despite being a complete stranger. “What’s your name?”   “I’m Y/N.” You lift your arm with an open hand. He stares down at it for a second before clasping his palm with yours, shaking your hand. The corner of your mouth lifts and you nod. “You?”   “Jung Hoseok.” He smiles, corners of his mouth quirking upwards into a slight heart shape and you muse how he reminds you of the sun. “Nice to meet you.”

[mooksie01]

With Teammates Like These, Who Needs Friends? (5/5)

Chapter Summary: A post-mission lunch break leads to... more mockery.

Clover is going to fire every single one of his teammates.

Warnings: More bullying of teammates, mild spiciness, workplace banter of a less-than-respectful nature

AO3 Link: [X]

First Chapter: [X]

Notes: Hey everyone! Sorry for the slight delay in getting this chapter out, I spent the majority of yesterday moving back into my dorm room and the rest of it hanging out with my friends that I haven't seen in a month, so I didn't really have time to post. Hopefully this chapter makes up for it, though! I hope you all enjoy the last chapter in this first installment of the series! Subsequent installments will be posted whenever I find time to write them, which may be sporadic now that classes have started back up again. 

Please like, reblog, and comment if you're able!!!! You guys have all been so amazing throughout this journey and I could not appreciate you more!

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Clover is ambushed the moment he steps foot into the mess hall after the mission debrief. This time, he is fully prepared for Elm’s attack, and he ducks under her attempt at wrapping one of her well-muscled arms around his neck. 

“Aw, come on, captain! I was only going to mess up your hair a little!” Elm cries exuberantly, apparently elated at this turn of events. She is always excited when Clover plays along with her roughhousing. 

“Sorry, Elm,” Clover says, getting in line for some of whatever they’re serving today. He’d cook if he weren’t so wiped from the mission, but he supposes that he’ll have to settle for food from the canteen just this once. “I’m afraid that I’d like to keep my hair as it is for right now.”

He accepts a tray of some sort of hearty stew and a chunk of bread, pleased. He’d personally signed off on the directive to encourage the kitchen staff to serve more hot meals, and he’s glad to see that the order is being followed. The lower-ranking soldiers certainly deserve it. 

Elm laughs, boxing him on the shoulder with so much force that, had he not been ready for it, Clover likely would’ve dropped his newly-acquired food. “Why, captain!” she shouts as they head in the direction of the table where the rest of the Ace Ops are sitting, “Are you trying to look nice for someone? Has some little birdie caught your eye?” 

Clover rolls his eyes as they settle next to each other on one of the benches. Across from them, Vine speaks, “I believe Huntsman Branwen has captured the captain’s attention, Elm. I was under the impression that you already knew this.” 

“And I,” Clover cuts Elm off before she can say something stupid that will stack more disciplinary action on top of her ever-growing pile, “was under the impression that my subordinates had a bit more tact and a lot more sense, but I suppose that I was wrong. Especially considering that stunt you pulled during the mission today, Elm.”

Harriet and Marrow exchange a long suffering look from where they sit beside Vine. Harriet leans an elbow on the table and props her chin in her palm, half-heartedly stirring around her stew with the other hand. “Are you guys really still talking about this? I already told you, I have no desire to poke into my coworkers' personal lives.” 

Elm powers on, disregarding Harriet’s words, “Aw, lighten up, captain! I feel like you should be celebrating! After all,” she winks with all the subtlety of a raging Megoliath, “you got to spend the whole mission today with your pretty bird, didn’t you? Not to mention whatever was going on in the hall this morning….” She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. 

Clover sighs, “If you could please refrain from referring to Qrow as a ‘pretty bird’ or whatever else, I don’t think he’d be too happy if he heard you saying that.” 

Marrow perks up next to Harriet, “Qrow?”

“Ha!” Elm slams her fists down onto the table, rattling everyone’s dishes. “Seems like someone is on a first-name-basis!” 

Is it too late to take his food back to his quarters? Probably. That would likely be an admission of guilt in his teammates’ eyes. Instead, Clover raises his chin in challenge, narrowing his eyes at Elm. “I’ll have you know that Qrow requested that we all call him by his first name. I simply have enough respect for him to abide by that.” He may have resolved to get closer to the other man, but he doesn’t need his teammates to know that right away. That will just lead them to start harassing Qrow. 

“Seems like you’re doing a little more than ‘respecting’ him, Clover,” Marrow states, tail wagging behind him. 

Clover scowls at him, feeling betrayed, “What ever happened to not acting like kids, Marrow?” 

Marrow shrugs, leaning precariously into the open space where the back of the table’s bench would be, if it had one. He crosses his arms casually behind his head and closes his eyes. “Hey, the way I see it, if everyone’s dog-piling onto you instead of me, for once? That’s a good thing. Besides,” he sighs, “that was before I knew that you had an actual, real crush on the dude. I thought you just wanted to bone him.” 

At this, Clover swears that he can actually feel a few circuits in his brain all frying at once. He resolutely ignores any thoughts of “boning” Qrow, as well as the incessant laughter coming from Elm and Vine’s (faux-?)confused inquiries as to what exactly “bone” is a euphemism for, instead choosing to focus on Marrow, who is still lounging across from him. 

He snarls at the faunus, “Marrow. Need I remind you that I am your commanding officer and that I am more than willing to issue disciplinary if I feel it’s necessary? And that is incredibly disrespectful to Qrow, as well as myself.” 

Marrow straightens immediately and crosses his arms in a pout, “Aw, come on, Clover, I was just kidding. You did the same thing to me a few months ago when I was into that rabbit girl from Menagerie.”

That… was fair. But still, Qrow would probably be all kinds of upset and embarrassed if he heard that the people who were supposed to be his teammates for the foreseeable future were all making inappropriate jokes about him. 

Harriet groans loudly, dropping her head into her hands, “Can we please stop talking about this? The guy probably isn’t even gay.” 

Clover’s heart skips a beat. A strange sense of something that feels very much like panic floods his veins. “Really, you don’t think so?” He leans toward Harriet, aware that something weird is probably going on with his face, but unable to find it within himself to care.

Harriet backs away as much as she is able to while staying seated on the bench. “Uh.”

“I’d imagine that it would be simple enough to ask General Ironwood whether Huntsman Branwen is interested in acquiring a same-sex partner or not,” Vine folds his arms placidly onto the table, gaze contemplative, “considering their apparent long history. We may even be able to present our inquiries to some of the children that Huntsman Branwen brought with him. It is my understanding that a Miss ‘Ruby’ and Miss ‘Yang’ are related to him in some way, if the intel Elm and I received from Miss Valkyrie, Mister Arc, and Mister Ren while wandering the mines today is correct.”

Clover’s brain takes a long second to catch up to all of that. Then it rewinds.

“Hold on!” He interjects with no small amount of alarm. “What do you mean by ‘we’?” 

Elm grins a little too widely. It’s extremely off-putting. “Isn’t it obvious?!” she yells. Loudly. 

Several heads turn in their direction.

“We’re going to help you get your man!”

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More Notes: There we go! A return to the roots of this story, which was always meant to be the Ace Ops torturing poor Clover (but really, how bad can you feel for the guy who's currently in the process of snagging a date with Qrow?). I hope you all enjoyed and I love you guys so much!

THANK YOU FOR READING!

(That Clover/Qrow/Elm story will be going up in a couple of hours, too, by the way! I have a few errands to run first, but then it's full steam ahead!)