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[homunculus-argument]

I know it would probably be a logistical nightmare to also make this accessible to the actual people represented, but I think it would be cool to have a game where the whole point is that every character has different limitations, that make it impossible or at least incredibly difficult to get past the whole game without switching them every once in a while, and the way you switch is by going to another character and asking their help with something.

Like you start out the game with one character and go "oh huh, the colour sceme of this game is really cool, really interesting use of such a limited palette", play through the puzzles for a while, and then encounter something where you're supposed to arrange some slightly differently coloured puzzle pieces to the right order by shade or something, and it's goddamn impossible. No matter how many methods you try, it's just not clicking, no matter how logical your solutions seem, no matter how clearly they can't be arranged in any other way that'd make more sense.

And maybe you go online to ask people "hey I'm stuck in the colour puzzle, what the hell am I supposed to do to get past this?" and someone tells you to go find one of the other playable characters and ask for their help. Which sounds patronising and stupid but you're stuck so you might as well give it a try. You go to one of the other characters, choosing the dialogue option to go "hey I need a hand with something, I can't do this on my own", and when they go "sure, let's go", your controls now switch to the other character.

And the colour scheme switches immediately. The aesthetic limited palette has changed to a far wider range, there's details in the environment that you hadn't noticed, like the muted faint flowers on the ground are actually bright red, the greyish shirt that your first character was wearing is actually striped with orange and green. The first POV character is colourblind, this whole time you haven't been able to perceive the difference between green and red. Solving the colour arranging puzzle with the other character is a breeze.

And this is the repeating theme of the game - every character has their own limitations, and while none of the puzzles are easy, you learn to think "maybe I should ask someone to help me with this" whenever you've been stuck for an unreasonable amount of time. You need to grab a buddy along for the quests, or you'll need to go back to get one eventually, and the way the game is structured somehow ensures that you can't just tactically dodge the limitation puzzles beforehand. Deaf character's POV doesn't have the audio clues that different pieces of the same puzzle make a different clicking sound, the puzzle with garbled numbers on it stops being garbled when you're not playing the character with dyscalculia.

You slowly get to know the whole cast, and occasionally help them out with things, too. You know which character could probably help with something you're stuck with, but while they'd be glad to come help, they're unfortunately stuck doing some task that could take you 20 minutes but is going to take them all afternoon, and you can offer help. Sometimes the helping-a-buddy-out minigames don't come with any direct transactional reward, you can just help a friend with something just because you can.

And the game's whole goal isn't to just illustrate how different people have different strengths, and sometimes things that are easy for you are hard for someone else, and vice versa, but to condition the player to think "maybe I should just ask someone to help, instead of wasting time struggling on my own."

[yandereforme]

Yan! Batfam x Teacher! Batmom

All platonic besides Bruce

First off, you were Dick’s teacher at Gotham Academy, and the most sympathetic to him. You knew how hard the transition was, especially since he had learned on his feet most of his life, so you decided to have most of your classes on their feet at some point, and offered him help with homework

Dick absolutely adored you. He was suspicious at first, but after a little while he grew way more comfortable. The change from the circus way of life to living in a city permanently and having to go to school was astronomical. You were the only teacher who seemed to realize that and try to help him. You threw a ball around for the class to answer things, played games to help people learn, and comforted/defended him when people looked down on him for his background.

People learned very quickly not to complain about you or your class, otherwise they would have to deal with ‘pranks’ like being doxxed, having their things ending up in trees, and their parents deals falling through.

On the first parent teacher night, Dick dragged Bruce over to you. Bruce had already heard of you from Dick and done his own surface level research on you.

The minute this man met you, he understood why Dick loved you so much. You just gave this aura of light and comfort that no one else could ever measure. You were kind and understanding and sweet.

(Note, Bruce isn’t completely yandere yet. He is starting to be, but I like slow burn. Dick is 100% yandere though.)

Dick threw a major tantrum when he learned he would have to leave your class. He was aggressive and started purposefully failing your class. It got to the point where you called a meeting between you and Bruce and Dick where you talked about everything.

You met with them at the manor, and after a few minutes, you managed to get it out of Dick why he was upset. You quietly told Dick that while you would miss him too, you would be very upset if he stayed back for him.

However, Bruce and Alfred managed a solution. With a few bribes to the school, they started a theatre club that you would run(they did research and knew you liked theatre) and that Dick would be your assistant, and he would still have the option after he graduated.

Everything was back to normal for you, besides the fact that all of your dates never lasted anymore. You couldn’t figure out why?

Then, Jason Todd was enrolled in your class

I hope you guys like this! This is my series for Romantic Yan! Bruce x Reader.

[meanbossart]

Do you have any advice for people looking to learn how to do color like you? I've been drawing for nearly 13 years but I've never been good with color and feel like my pieces always look rather over blended or that I can't pick good color pallettes.

Just to preface: coloring was fairly new to me just up until recently. I've always done color here and there but it was never my favorite (I very much felt like I had the same problem you're describing) and for a long time my style was largely based around grayscale because of it. When I started doing BG3 art it kind of felt like a necessity to learn, though, since its such a colorful game. So, take my advice with a grain of salt!

My biggest struggle with color was that the style I wanted to do never seemed to match my lineart. I eventually realized that was because my style itself wasn't done with color in mind at all - like I mentioned above, I mostly did grayscale and let the linework carry the art entirely. This also skewed the way I distributed my efforts; I would get really exact and over-detail things with the lineart like I was used to doing, and then felt like I also had to overdo the coloring as well, because the slightly "rougher" rendering I was striving for didn't seem to match the style.

The solution I arrived at was changing the way I approach lineart entirely, purposefully making it sketchier and less "exact", not letting myself be boggled down with details. In this way, I feel like I have far more freedom in how I apply colors and approach the rendering. It has also been extremely beneficial to learn how to push simplification (both in regards to lines AND color) as far as I can before the art stops looking good to me, and that has allowed me to backtrack into more detail again while feeling far more in control of their application. The more you breach out and experiment, the more ways you will have to approach your work when you feel as if you've hit a wall.

Obviously, I don't know if any of this applies to you 😅 but it's info that's been super valuable for me to realize.

Something else that might help is hunting down for tools that don't let you be precise - staying away from sharp liners and brushes and picking stuff that looks more graphical.

Also, not letting yourself zoom into your work too much so you're forced to achieve the shapes you're trying to achieve with rougher strokes and lines, and hence avoiding overworking small details that will ultimately get lost in the final picture anyway.

And assuming you have a good grasp on the basics - put a cap on your rendering time. Try drawing as fast as possible so you're forced to look for alternative solutions for making stuff look good without spending days on it. (I do NOT suggest doing this regularly if you're just starting off learning things like anatomy and perspective though; take your time!)

As for color palettes - I feel like I have a horrible eye for color LOL so I can't offer much wisdom there. I will often be adjusting hues and depth well into the finalization of the piece and ultimately just throw my hands up and say GOOD ENOUGH before sending it off. Taking breaks from looking at the screen so you can take it in with slightly fresher eyes tends to help me, though.

[hwnglx]

this was a complex and long one. the more i read on wonyoung, the more in awe i get of her. like wow we all need to learn a thing or two from this girl. she's a queen.

wonyoung's real personality behind the scenes

based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!

shuffled song: 28 reasons by seulgi

+ so unsurprisingly, this girl is a professional through and through. very common pattern for people who entered the industry at an early age. hard work in the entertainment business comes to them astoundingly easy. (something i saw for ni-ki previously)

she's just as polished and sophisticated off cam, as she is on cam. very focused on maintaining a clean image even behind the scenes, she's aware that's what can make or break a public figure. quite a few idols put on an angel act when cameras are on them, but allow themselves to be reckless beyond closed doors. wonyoung knows people talk, there's this sense of a continuously cautious “trust nobody” in her. this is something that sets her apart from many others. wonyoung is very aware that things will get out eventually, so she's incredibly eager to withhold a flawless reputation even behind the scenes. she's also extremely protective of what is hers, whether that's her material possessions (money, expensive or cherished items), the image she's worked hard on maintaining, her loved ones and cherished relationships. wonyoung puts a lot of value into keeping them in check, making sure they're taken care of.

i looked up her mars sign and immediately went “aaah” as soon as i saw it's in virgo, because she seems to be outstanding at planning. wonyoung is very calculated, everything she does she's fully aware of. she always acts while exactly knowing the effects it has on, not only herself, but the people around her. this is also a quality she doesn't only use for her own good, but many people around her seem to appreciate. since she's incredibly intuitive, she can combine those two qualities, which makes for a person who's great at identifying and reading situations, and wisely acting according to this profuse intuition. for example, if someone she's close to is telling her about their struggles, she not only is great at making them feel cared about and listened to, offering them emotional understanding and support, but also excellent at grasping the problem and conflict, and providing the person with helpful solutions on how to act. random thought, but i could see her being a pretty good psychologist, or lawyer. (did she ever talk about wanting to work in medicine or law if she wasn't an idol?)

wonyoung is very smart. not only emotionally intelligent, but also very eloquent. great at speaking and finding the right words at the right time. there's also a lot of drive in this girl, like so much. she has a very determined attitude, which can be contagious to the people around her. amazing at pulling people out of situations that seem hopeless, and giving them courage to move forward. a very good team player, she's capable of adjusting to her co-workers and compromising, finding a middle-ground for the sake of the team. i can see many people truly enjoying to work with her, because she doesn't only have such a profound understanding of what she's doing, but is also considerate of the people around her.

lastly, this girl literally pulls the strings, has most people at the palm of her hands with ease. especially in a romantic manner, if any men mess with wonyoung.. make no mistake, she will not be played by them but instead play them swiftly, probably without them even noticing until later. the type to smile at you and hug you while stabbing an injection with your own poison in your back, knowing you did this to yourself. type to beat you at your own game while smiling politely.

she will not allow anyone to trick her, make a fool out of her. she reads and understands behaviorial patterns very well, so it just isn't easy to mislead her. however! best believe she only does this to people who do her wrong first. people who deserve it. it's giving “i'm sweet and respectful to everyone but, you better know not to mess with me, because that's when you'll get to see a different side to me” as i mentioned, i can see her being pretty cut-throat when it comes to men. especially in the industry. many weird ass men in there, wonyoung does not allow them to put themselves above her, just because of their bizarre gender superiority complex. (i remember this spiting some male idols in my reputation reading lmao well..) there's this thing of her always remaining crazy polite though, and doing just enough for payback. in this smart manner in which she can't be blamed or faulted for it.

- i hate to say this, but wonyoung can have her entitled princess tendencies. it's kinda giving spoiled rich girl who not only expects the best treatment, but is also so selective over who she calls her friends, depending on their status. not sure if she grew up in a rich household, but this seems like something that comes very naturally to her. she's very very meticulous, very very picky and perfectionistic. even if she doesn't always express it in a mean or aggressive way, it can just rub people the wrong way since it can give off pick me energy. i can see her being all “hmmm no” about some potentially beneficial things in her career like jobs or opportunities, just because she can feel superior to them. like she's above them. very much boss energy and it again, is incredibly smart in several ways, but sometimes it can be off putting, she isn't always right in her judgement without fail.

she's so invested in closely managing people's image of her, that she can quickly drive herself crazy over trivial details. there seems to be a lot of fear when it comes to letting go of this obsession and control over her reputation, as well as making herself vulnerable. wonyoung seems to have a lot of trust issues. this comes up everytime i read for her.. there's this constant feeling like everyone is out to get her somehow. i think she's seen a lot of shit happen in the industry, people in the business can be cruel and cold. just like the public, they can often look at and treat idols as these emotionless dolls. due to this, wonyoung can easily get mistrustful of people with pure and good intentions. she protects her heart in a very fierce manner. (this could for sure go up to the green flags but her immense trust issues seem to potentially stand in the way of her forming genuine and healthy connections too)

she's so scared of appearing easy to attack, easy to hurt or easy to access and weak. she hates crying in front of people, and always puts on a perfect mask she hides all her inner struggles behind. she's scared of baring her true soul to people because she doesn't like the thought of them seeing her as a flawed person. wonyoung sets herself up to skyhigh standards, because she believes she's lacking and unworthy of praise if she doesn't meet those expectations. she feels like she needs to be perfect for people to like her, which is sad and ironic, because.. they literally go on hating on her for appearing so perfect. people need to calm the hell down, shut the hell up and realize their words are making her put on even more of an act, hide herself even further, since she's actually so easily hurt. her heart is much softer than people realize, and much softer than she herself would like it to be.

[kirbybecomesastarwarrior]

Once again I thank you all so much for supporting me during the Kirby OC Tournament. Especially all my followers & mutual who humored me with all the poll reblog stuff.

As promised the lore. (And I've been cooking this turkey for a while and it's ready to come out of the oven.)

Fair Warning contains spoilers... I will not be explaining all the details of what happening. This is incredibly vague & via musical... so I won't spoil that much (since this does take place during the final arc... Void Termina Saga). The events that are being shown do not happen exactly how they are portrayed, however the essence of what's happening is the same.

Morgan shall be singing "Last Midnight from Into the Woods,"

Spoiler warning, (More drawn content is contained below)

(OH NO WHAT'S HAPPENING TO KIRBY...Sorry, I can't explain it just yet... Nor why Meta Knight's mask is broken in half... maybe he got into a fight or something, hold the phone I thought Galacta was trapped in insanity... what happened... Sorry if I tell anything of that it'll spoil the good stuff)

Dame Morgan: It's the Last Midnight

So in summary: After they refuse to hand Kirby over, Morgan reveals there's a traitor in their midst... Fumu is the reason why Kirby is in the state he is in (Fumu is currently regretting her life choices). Leaving Meta & Gala shocked, and scared to death at Kirby's current state, while Kirby is sad, and betrayed again...~

And Morgan just having herself a time, living her best life~

In the KBASW series, she tricks three major characters:

Namely: Queen Ripple, Hyness, and Fumu/Tiff. (the most devastating one she tricks)

Dame Morgan is basically a mixture of: "The Witch" from Into the Woods, Morgan from (Merlin's 2008 TV series), Eris from Sinbad (she has the voice of Eris), and the Joker from Batman.

Morgan represents the opposite of Celestine... (via Morgan vs. Merlyn wizard rivalry) The Anti-Celestine so to speak~

The one person she hates more than Arthur is Merlyn/Celestine.

Celestine sees magic as a tool, not a solution or the answer to your problem... promoting true self-improvement comes from within. For there will always be...: another bridge to cross, another monster to slay, another woods to go into. The only way to ever truly be prepared in this world is to learn from each other... and to be kind to one another & share the experience. If you cheat your way throw life will just get harder and move with you... Being better and leading a good example will inspire others to be better along with you.

The change starts within, with us...

While Dame Morgan:

Life is unfair, you play by their rules, you follow the system, sacrifice everything to fit the mold, and yet you can still be cheated out of what you deserve...

And you're telling me I should just "hang in there," "hold on", "it's gonna be okay eventually keep smiling".... nah? Let's stop "pretending to be good", everybody is just in it for themselves so... if you do that you're just a fool waiting to be tricked.

Why not live just for yourself... why not cheat back... why not be the bad guy? That's why her theme is "Stella Jang(스텔라장) _ Villain(빌런)

Morgan represents the easy way out, a quick fix... to blame someone else...an escape. How did she obtain this dark magic... The Jamba Heart...Granting everyone's selfish desires... the reason why everyone falls for it is because she has the charisma to make the offer far too tempting and to pass it up, no.

And guess who was her first customer... Hyness~

The biggest change I probably did the to mix anime & game lore. (Kirby Star Allies) In KBASW AU... Morgan the one who convinced Hyness the Jamba Heart was what he needed to restore his clan. It's the reason she's able to stay hidden for a long while...Allowing the negative to naturally corrupt him and use him as a figurehead...

Despite giving him the Jamaba Heart... she did not tell him exactly how to break the seal on Termina... (Whoops she must have forgotten, how clumsy of her...) Purposely having him fail~

However, the secret to this lies with... FUMU!? Due to the reincarnation of the first ruler of Dreamland... she holds the key to unsealing & controlling Void Termina... She throws them to the wrong person. She's very much tricked into thinking she's helping "Kirby," but... yeah this happens instead.

And of course, there's always a price... though once you do realize you've been bamboozled, she'll remind you that she gave you a choice... Ultimately making you realize it's your own fault at the end of the day. Very much rubbing your head in the mess you've made for yourself. (which is exactly what she's doing to Tiff/Fumu right now.)

In summary, she pretty much invites you to be your worst self; she's the villain but deliciously so! :3

[cameronspecial]

hii !

do you think can you do a fic where drew is helping reader study for grad school?

something cute and sweet like maybe he sees she’s stressed and turns it into a game

Study Buddy

Pairing: Drew Starkey x Reader

Warnings: N/A

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 0.5K

Masterlist

Drew can see how stressed Y/N is for her big test coming up. She doesn’t get many tests as a grad student, mostly dealing with long-term projects. So the psychology test worth fifty percent of her mark is nothing to take lightly She’s dedicated most of her time to studying, which left Drew little time to spend with her. Watching her stress over her cue card at the dining room table, he comes up with a solution that could help fix two of their problems. Her being stressed and them not spending enough time together. He heads over to the table and pulls out a seat across from her. Her eyebrow raises at the spray bottle and mini KitKats in his hands. “What are you doing with those?” she questions. He gives her an evil smirk, “It’s a surprise. Give me your cue cards.” She hesitates before pushing the deck of paper toward him. 

She watches as he picks up the first card and reads off of it. “What is fluid and crystallized intelligence?” he reads out loud. She takes a second to think, “Fluid intelligence is your capability to learn new things. Crystallized intelligence is the accumulation of the knowledge you have gained over time.” He gives her a grin, leaning over to give her a kiss and then sliding over a KitKat bar. She happily takes the chocolate and opens it up to eat it. She breaks it apart and hands one side to him. He takes it, shoving it entirely into his mouth. He moves on to the next card. “What are Thrustone’s primary mental abilities?” Y/N freezes at this question, taking longer to answer. “Verbal comprehension, word fluency, associative memory, inductive reasoning, numeric ability, spatial visualization and perceptual concepts,” her confidence drops off as she gets to the final ability. Drew grimaces before taking the spray bottle and squirting her with it. She squeals, holding her arms up to protect herself “It’s perceptual speed,” he breaks to her.

“What was that for?” she yells, not really in anger but in surprise. Drew shrugs, “You’re studying psychology, so I thought I would do my own Pavlovian experiment.” She glares at him and snatches the bottle away from him. Her fingers find the trigger, hitting his face with cold water. She giggles at his look of shock but scrambles out of her chair when he gets up to chase after her. She uses the water to keep him away. He eventually catches up to her and picks her up by the waist. He wipes his wet face on her shirt, listening to her silent pleas to stop. He puts her down and she kisses his cheek. “I think I like this game, but let’s change it a little. If I get it wrong, you spray me. If I get it right, I spray you. Deal?” she offers. He can only chuckle at the words, holding his hand out to lead the way back to the table. And that is how an afternoon of studying left Y/N and Drew absolutely soaked.

Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia @thelomlisrafecameron

[galaxostars]

Transfest celebration

Hi everyone ! Pride month may be over but Transfest is still very much on going and so many beautiful fics/art keep coming out every day, so feel free to check them out and give them some much deserved love <3

I will be reblogging this post every time a new work comes out so stay tuned for that + the authors' reveal next week!

The Magic of You : 13.9k, E, Petunia/Severus, James/Lily, Eileen/Tobias

One cigarette can change everything. Or when two people realise they are far more alike than they are different.

can i tell you something? : 2.7k, G, Regulus/Remus

Regulus needs to tell Remus something.

What Are Friends For? : 2k, M, Draco/Harry, Hermione/Ron

Draco offers to help Harry out with a certain problem he’s having, courtesy of starting T.

Sun's out, Guns out : art, T, Charlie Weasley

Charlie Weasley has much to be proud about. All his scars are fucking cool, the dragon claws, the eyebrow slit, the stretch marks on his hips, and ... oh yeah : his top surgery scars ! Charlie Weasley is a hot transmasc dude, what do you want more from me i'm thirsting

Full Indulgence : 14.7k, E, Fleur/Nymphadora, Nymphadora/Bill, Fleur/Nymphadora/Bill

Tonks and Bill used to fuck. Bill met Fleur, and friends-with-benefits became friends again. Now, Bill’s engaged to Fleur. Tonks thinks Fleur is hot. Really hot. Tonks cannot stop thinking about her. Bill finds out. Bill has a solution. Tonks is caught in the middle, in the best way possible.

brother, I've returned : 2.7k, G, Regulus & Sirius

Sirius and Regulus reunite after their parents' deaths. written for the HP TransFest, prompt #82: Brother, Madds Buckley or FTM Sirius left home many years ago. After his parents death he must return for the reading of the will and face the brother he left behind

I don't wanna be anything other than me : 4.3k, T, Sirius/Remus

Remus has been thinking about confiding in the boys that he is trans and a werewolf, because he is tired of hiding who he is. Lily is his best friend, but living in the girl's dormitory is taking it's toll. A story of friendship, opening up to others, and accceptance. Prompt 33: Remus ftm taking to McGonagall and the boys about switching dorms

your friends are a fate that befell me : 12.8k, E, Regulus/Sirius, Regulus/James

Self prompted : Established Sirius/Regulus, Sirius wants Regulus to make James feel better after his breakup

Fawning Over You by toxik_angel - a Podfic podfic length 4.5-5 hours, E, Draco/Harry

Harry's not sure which would be worse: Ron and Hermione finding out he buys Draco Malfoy's premium pornography and an extra gift off his wishlist every week, or Draco Malfoy finding out Harry has a horrible, distracting, embarrassing crush on him. Alt title: Whore-ton Hears a Harry.

force our smiles, baby, half dead (from comparing myself to everyone else around me) : 3.8k, M, Remus/James

Five times James was asked how he was feeling + one time Remus was asked the same.

The bleedin' hearts, the arts and that other stuff : 55.9k, E, Remus/James, Dorcas/Lily, Regulus/Sirius, Barty/Pandora/Evan

Sometimes "coming out" means going stealth with your hookup. Sometimes "going stealth" means that your hookup gets the wrong idea that you (a book-loving pacifist who writes self-proclaimed sad boi music in your spare time) are a repeat offender in the back alley knife fight department. Oops? It's all fun and games in love and war for Remus and James until somebody gets hurt. This is a FINISHED FIC With an eleventh chapter - epilogue coming post-creator reveals <33

Between These Walls : 40k, E, Harry/Severus, Luna/Rolf Scamander

Casting an eye to his former student, Severus saw Potter’s head loll onto the thin pillow. The young man faced the ceiling, expression inert and dull. Why was he in a hospital bed next to Potter three years after the war? In which Harry quits the Auror force to recover from a bout of depression, Severus starts an owl-order business from his country house, and they both learn what it means to be in a relationship for the first time.

Wine Drunk : 2.8k, T, Sirius/Remus

Prompt: Sirius is falling in love with new member of order (remus homeschooled) and notices several things and tries to put together pieces

It's not over yet : 6.9k, T, Lily & Severus, Poppy & Severus

Taking self-made potions and performing a ritual at Ostara in his fourth year - Severus Snape had thought of many aspects while planning his transition. Was there something he purposefully ignored until the last second? Certainly. Severus struggles to navigate both his parents' reaction and the reality he has to face: people will ask questions regarding his new form. Severus is sure he is no "young woman" but rather a lad, yet telling other people is intimidating. At least he got his friends and a surprise ally.

moving into me : 5.2k, T, Hermione/Ron

Veronica "Ronny" Weasley always knew something was "off" but Ronny didn't understand what it was until the Yule Ball shenanigans during fourth year. Submitted for 2024 Trans Fest Prompt 6: "Trans male Ron who doesn’t realize/come out until a few years into Hogwarts."

Make sure to leave some kudos and comments to the authors 🏳️‍⚧️🫶🏻

[mcufan72]

Sugar and Cinnamon

Loki x female reader (AU) / 18+

Chapter 5

Chapter 4

Warnings: nothing special, always contains more or less fluff, angst, sex, smut, smoking, and alcohol drinking. I won't put specific warnings so far. It's 18+. Hopefully, it's not a boring chapter.

When you arrived home, you tossed your bag on the floor of your bedroom and headed for the bathroom to get ready for bed. You were exhausted and just wanted to sleep now.

‘Do you believe in love, Sugar?’

Your thoughts revolved around Luke's question.

‘Love, love…love is for kids and dogs…’

You did believe in love until you didn't anymore. You had wasted years of loving someone who never felt the same for you. How blind you had been. But as your mother always told you, everything in life happens for a reason… you just couldn't see it yet and life could be cruel.

You got into bed and thought about the sex with Luke. He told you that he's not a tender lover. Why did he say that? He had been so tender with you, that you could hardly restrain yourself to not give in to him. You genuinely regretted having faked your orgasm. He deserved more and better. You still didn't know how he recognised it. Was he a man who truly cared about you and your feelings, about what you might like and need to have a satisfying sexual experience? You were sure, you'd like to try other things with him too. There were some things you didn't like but it seemed possible to try them with him. And you were sure he wouldn't say no. He gave you that vibe. You've never been blindfolded before but you liked it.

“I deserve to enjoy life…and sex,” you said to yourself. Maybe Luke was still willing to show you pleasure and you might offer him a further night in case he's going to book you as his escort again. You didn't know why but you trusted him right from the beginning and he didn't disappoint you. He stood true to his word. But you should be careful with trusting someone too soon. You should know better. Nonetheless, you felt ashamed. You've just been scared to fall for Luke, scared of the feelings that came up inside of you when you were together with him, feelings of shameless lust and complete devotion. But you weren't able to give it to him, a man who wasn't yours. You were just his escort…just his whore… and his alone. Nothing could change this.

While thinking of him, you felt his breath on your body again. Shivers ran down your spine when you thought about his warm, tender hands on your body, him going down on you, licking that spot where you craved him most. Jesus, what could've happened if you had allowed him to have that full game of foreplay with you and while you were questioning yourself about it, you had your fingers between your spread legs and rubbed and circled yourself gently and firmly to completion… and you moaned his name when the waves of a badly needed orgasm were washing over and through your trembling body.

When the orgasmic high ebbed away you came back to reality. You would likely never see him again but you would never forget how gentle he had been with you and with how much respect he had treated you. If there was one thing you had learned tonight, it was the realization that you would never be able to spend a night with another man but him. You weren't made for it. You could only ever give yourself to a man you liked and trusted as much as you liked and trusted him, and only ever just to this one man, not ten or twenty. Escorting men and spending some hours with them at events or just a dinner in a restaurant was okay but nothing more than that. It would change your considerations about how to boost your financial situation and you would have to think about another solution to solve your problem. You turned to your side, pulled your sleeping mask over your eyes and fell asleep.

When you woke up, the first thing you did was take a shower again, then you pressed the button on your coffee machine for a latte macchiato and emptied the items of your small travel bag onto your bed. You grabbed the biscuits you couldn't find in your bag the night before and ate one. Still munching on your biscuit, you sorted the rest of your stuff so you could clean or wash them and filled the bag with fresh lingerie and spare clothes to bring to REA later. Maybe you would need the bag again in case Luke was going to book you for a further event but you didn't believe that this would happen. When you grabbed the worn kimono to put it into the laundry basket, a blue-green scarf fell to the floor. You picked it up from the carpet and stared at it. You must've grabbed it from the hotel suite’s floor when you packed your bag after Luke had left the suite. And then you remembered the scarf wasn't wrapped around his neck when he left. The scarf felt so soft in your hands and you buried your nose into the silken fabric. Memories of how he blindfolded you with it came back into your mind. It still smelled of his cologne and him, somehow familiar and safe. You had a closer look at it and you found two swung golden letters, embroidered onto the one end of the scarf: L L

...for Luke Larsson. That was rare nowadays and maybe a bit old-fashioned but you loved it. A further proof of his class and elegance. You had to give it back to him or you had to ask Rhea to do it for you but for now, you'd put it into the drawer of your dresser. You took a last sniff, folded it neatly, and put it into the drawer. Shortly afterwards you got dressed and ready to visit your mum like every Sunday. You would spend the afternoon with her and after lunch, you'd go with her for a walk in the nursery home's Park. You'd push her in her wheelchair to her favourite places and you'd eat some cinnamon rolls you would buy on the way before you'd drive to her.

You both missed the times when you baked them every Sunday and enjoyed them fresh from the oven. Freshly baked, they tasted best. But after her stroke, which left her paralyzed on one side some years ago, it wasn't possible anymore but the bought ones were also tasty and you could keep the tradition of eating some together on Sunday afternoons. The worst thing was to keep on pretending that everything in your life was fine. You hated lying to her but the truth would kill her and so you had no other choice.

In the evening you met another gentleman at Vivian's Velvet. Or you should better say you intended to meet him. But the appointment got cancelled and so did three more appointments this week except one with a gentleman called Mr Lang. Scott was such a funny guy, you laughed a lot and he showed you some magic tricks and you had no idea how he did those amazing things. He just wanted to spend time with you even though you considered offering him to sleep with you but you couldn't. Luke was always on your mind and still the only one imaginable. Scott drank a lot so you would get additional money for the drinks he consumed. That wasn't as much as you would've gotten for pleasuring him in bed but better than nothing. When he said goodbye, he asked you for a kiss. He was really charming and all but you stayed with your rule, so you refused. You'd just kiss a man you were in love with. He took it easy and you thanked him for this funny evening. He's distracted you from your real big problems and you were grateful for it.

********************

After Loki had waited a couple of weeks for it, he finally got the invitation to the annual gala dinner hosted by a certain Mr. Smith. Everyone important working for international and intergalactic security got invited, ambassadors, negotiators, spokespersons and other important people with their companions. He already knew that this event would happen and that he was invited but he needed the written confirmation. The event would take place this Saturday and Loki had waited eagerly for it because he needed a reason to book you again. He was insecure about how to act after your intimate encounter, he also had no events to appear and he somehow didn't dare ask you for just an evening at Vivian's Velvet or a restaurant. And in general, he should stay away from you. He already had more feelings for you than he should have and he knew you weren't interested in him as an exclusive lover or a boyfriend. You made yourself very clear about that.

He made several phone calls because some arrangements needed to be made before he could call Rhea.

“Thank you, Rhea. I have something for Miss Black. Could you please make sure she gets my gift?”

“Sure, Mr.Larsson but I don't know if Miss Black will accept your present.” Rhea gave to consider.

“Please let her know this gift is connected to our next date. Could you please do this for me?”

“Of course, Mr.Larsson. Will you bring it here yourself or…”

“No, I ordered a delivery service and it should arrive tomorrow morning at the latest.”

“Okay, Mr.Larsson. I'll give Miss Black a call so she can collect it from here. Have a nice day, Mr Larsson and thank you for booking Miss Black again.”

“You're welcome, Rhea. Miss Black is lovely and the most amazing woman. She's the finest woman I've seen in ages.” Loki said enthusiastically.

“Oh, Mr. Larsson, that's very kind of you, and you're so generous. You should tell her, she deserves to know that,” Rhea told him enraptured.

“I'll do, Rhea, promised. Have a nice day and thanks again.” Loki ended the call and hopefully, you would go with him to the event and accept the present he bought for you.

*********************

You were preparing your dinner when you got a message from Rhea. You opened it on your phone and she asked you to come to the agency's office tomorrow around noon. You sent her a short confirmation and continued cooking. What could she want? Tell you that more appointments got cancelled? You had no idea why it happened frequently in the last few days but it seemed a lot of men had the flu these days. Hopefully, it hadn't to do with you as a person that the men cancelled the dates. You were sad you hadn't heard from Luke. It seemed you had been right. He had had you in the sheets and now he wasn't interested in you and your company anymore.

You missed him and his ridiculously pretty face, his stupid soft curls and the way he used to look at you, the warmth he radiated when he was around you and the attention he gave you. You growled quietly and scolded yourself for always thinking of him. He shouldn't be always on your mind. Where was the professional distance you wanted to keep? Before you went to bed you took the only piece out of the drawer you had of him. You craved his presence. A longing between your thighs made you finger yourself again, your nose buried deeply into the softness of his scarf, inhaling his scent and in the morning light when you woke up, you still held his scarf in your hand.

Around noon you arrived at your agency, nervous for what Rhea wanted to tell you.

“Glad to see you again, dear. How's it going”

“I'm doing good, how about you?”you asked Rhea.

“I'm fine, thank you, honey. Take a seat.“

“Thanks. I'm sure I'm not here because you have nothing else to do or to just have a chit-chat with me…” and you passed her your small travel bag to store it for you and sat down on the chair.

“I'd love to have some chit-chatting with you but no, I need to tell you that I just got a cancellation for your appointment tonight…” Rhea said, busily tapping on the keyboard of her laptop.

“Really? Is there anything I can do better? I'm slowly getting nervous about it, it's always my appointments,” you complained.

“Don't worry, dear, it's not your fault, you still got payment for tonight and I think it's just the flu going around and some men called me after making an appointment to tell me what type of hair colour they prefer and it just didn't match yours. That's definitely not your fault, darling. You could continue studying tonight or just take a relaxing bath. Enjoy some spare time, you work a lot.”

“Yeah, maybe you're right, I should do that.”

“That's what I wanted to hear, honey. Buuut …there's something else…” Rhea sounded enthusiastic.

“Don't make it so exciting, please”

“You made a really big deal, you have an appointment for a gala dinner with a reception with champagne, hosted by one of the most important diplomats, Mr.Smith. I once saw an interview with him. He's an attractive, charming man I can tell you,” Rhea gushed.

“Is there a little shade of pink on your cheeks, Rhea?” you mocked her jokingly.

“What?... Of course, not…ahmm yeah, right…ahm back to the topic…the reception and the gala dinner. It'll happen tomorrow evening at 7.30, Walker will pick you up at 6.30 and drive you to the location,” and she grinned from ear to ear.

“What's your big smile about and why will I meet the client directly? I'm used to meeting a client at Vivian's Velvet first?” you asked her curiously.

“There's no need for that, dear. Any idea who your date is, hm?” she asked knowingly.

“Nooo, you tell me, please,” and you got an answer you hadn't expected anymore.

“It's Mr.Larsson, dear,” she said and gave you a bright smile.

“What? I thought he would never book me again. We haven't heard anything from him for one week but wow, that's awesome. I'm glad, I think it's a privilege to go there with him.” You were genuinely glad and utterly relieved. He still wanted to spend time with you. That was more than you deserved after the last time you saw him.

“That's fantastic and of course, I'll escort him, I'm looking forward to it. Please send him my confirmation.”

“With pleasure, honey…and wait…he left something for you…,” and Rhea picked something up from the floor under her desk.

“He was here?” You asked and you remembered the scarf you had forgotten at home. But now you could give it back to him personally.

“No, he wasn't, a delivery service brought it this morning,” and she handed you a longish black box, tied with a glossy satin ribbon and a sumptuous satin-finish bow decorating the centre of the box.

“Wow…that looks gorgeous and expensive. I'm not sure if I can accept such a gift,” you stated doubtfully.

“Do you know what's in it?” you asked Rhea.

“No, I don't but whatever it is, Mr.Larsson seems to like you quite a lot. He only told me that it's related to your date with him.” Rhea wiggled her eyebrows.

“Nahh, I'm sure it's just something he wants me to wear for the gala dinner, something to his liking. Maybe he thinks I've nothing in my closet for an event like this. And if it's a dress I doubt it has the right size. Or it's some kinky stuff perhaps?” you joked and you both chuckled.

“Maybe… May I ask how the intimacy with him was? I don't want to hear any details, I just want to know if he has been nice to you,” Rhea asked concernedly.

“He was wonderful but I'm sure I made a beginner's mistake. I tried to stay detached and separate myself from it, I tried to perform, you know. But I failed and he noticed. My performance was just …awful and I thought it cost me his attention and bookings. And to be honest, Rhea I don't think I can do this with any other man,” you told her sadly.

“It's never easy, dear and you don't have to do it at all. It's completely your decision and I totally get it that you just want him. He's so beautiful and charming, someone who radiates strength and responsibility. It wouldn't be a surprise for me if he captures your heart. And about the gift…he insisted that you accept it. Whatever it is in that box, darling, please, send me a photo, okay? I need to know what's in this gorgeous-looking box,” Rhea seemed more excited than you but it made her even more likeable.

“Of course, Rhea. Will do. But I won't fall for him, okay? It would violate my rules.”

“Everything is only your decision, dear and yours alone. Just don't miss a chance to meet someone who could be more to you. It happens that an escort lady falls in love with her client and he falls in love with his escort lady. If it's mutual then there's nothing wrong or bad about it. Why not give in to that feeling? Don't be too hard on yourself,” Rhea said.

“It's not that easy for me and I might better stay alone. Okay, then…is there anything else that you want to talk about with me?” You asked her.

“No, darling that's all for today. Thanks again for coming,” Rhea answered kindly and you got up from the chair you were sitting on.

“No worries. Can't wait to unpack the box. Bye Rhea, and thank you for always listening to me.” You said kindly.

“Bye, darling and take care. Enjoy the gala dinner,” and Rhea waved at you and stored your bag next to her chair while you were already heading for the door with the box under your arm.

“Will do!” You waved back, left the office and headed back home.

Later in your apartment, you placed the box on the kitchen counter. You opened the fridge and poured some water into a glass. While staring at the elegant package you took several sips of water, briefly noticing how thirsty you had been. Why would Luke give you a gift? Should you leave the box unopened? But it would be impolite to ignore his gift. You still could give it back to him in case you didn't like the content of the box. What was his intention? He had an intention, right? Of course, he had. Smart bastard. You grinned at the thought of him. You liked him, more than you should, this untouchable, sometimes grumpy guy but he treated you with respect and decency and the way he tried to show others that you ‘belonged’ to him as long as you were his companion at an event made you feel safe and protected, and it made you feel valued.

You still had big problems to solve but when you were together with him, he eased your mind and you could breathe again. Somehow it seemed he could be your way out of your fucked up situation. You enjoyed every minute of being together with him. But you couldn't allow yourself to fall for him. Nonetheless, you've missed him and you couldn't wait for tomorrow evening to see him again. In light of that, you had a free afternoon and evening tonight, and you considered meeting your best friend Gabby later. You haven't seen her for weeks and you have a lot to tell her. You risked a little peek into the box and closed it rapidly.

"Oh.My.Goodness,” you murmured unbelievingly. You opened the box again, completely this time and you couldn't believe what you were seeing there. Against a bed of black tissue paper, a dark-green silk dress nestled in there. You ran a hand over the green silk and a smile curved your lips.

“Incredible” you whispered. You had worn several pricey and elegant dresses but none of them compared to this one. The urge to try it and wrap your body in it overtook you.

You sucked in a sharp breath when you stood in front of your mirror because the dress fitted perfectly. The deep V-neck emphasized your cleavage and transformed your breasts into something luscious, the colour gave your skin an ethereal glow. The skirt was floor length and had a tempting slit up one side and the elegantly crossed spaghetti straps turned your back into a real eye-catcher. Every silken inch of the gorgeous evening gown clung to your body as if it were tailored for you. It shimmered brightly every time you moved. It seemed he remembered every curve and every detail of your body and he saw you naked just once. But it seemed to be enough for him to find this perfect gown for you.

You never wanted to be a dressed-up doll again for a man, never again wearing something just for a man’s liking. But you saw clearly that it mattered who gave a dress like this to you. It was chosen with so much care and love. Luke's choice was perfect, he knew exactly what you would like to wear. He was perfect, honestly too perfect to be real. You took this dream of a dress off again and when you wanted to put it back into the box you saw an envelope lying in the box, a handwritten letter in it.

My lovely

Sugar,

When you read this letter, you have already seen the evening gown I would love to give to you. I hope fervently, that you like it and that it fits you well. I'm sure you look stunning in it and I would feel honoured if you would wear it for the gala dinner. But it's completely your decision if you want to wear it or not. I'm just glad to meet you again. You can definitely keep it, it's made just for you.

Please don't be mad at me that I haven't booked you for days but I've been busy. Maybe against your expectations, I still would love to have you as my companion at events.

I know our professional relationship is not about emotions or any private things but I hope you still want to see and escort me.

I missed you and your company and I also haven't forgotten our shared night. Thank you for allowing me to have you and for the nice words you said to me before I left. I'm still convinced that I'm not a tender lover but your words mean a lot to me.

I'm excited to see you again for the gala dinner on Saturday, at least I'm hoping for it and I hope we'll have a wonderful time there. Take care, sweet thing!

Devotedly yours,

Luke

Your mouth stood open, your eyebrows raised. Why did this feel like a love letter? He owed you nothing, at least an explanation why he hadn't booked and met you. Of course, you would definitely wear this dress for the gala dinner. You couldn't wait to see him again and tell him how much you liked the dress he had chosen for you and how much you appreciated his gift. Now you definitely needed to see Gabby and you send her a message if she would like to meet you in Central Park later this afternoon.

“Heeyyyy, it has been ages, y/n… How's it going? Gabby greeted you, a box of donuts in her hand. Gabby has been your best friend since you moved to New York five years ago. You met her at a grocery store and since then you have been best friends. You two just matched perfectly. She was the only person who knew that you had lost your job and what you were now doing for a living.

“I'm doing good, how about you?” you asked her and you hugged each other. You took a short walk through the park and Gabby gave you an update on her life and her family. You found a vacant bench and took a seat, the box with donuts placed between you.

“Spill the beans, dear…did you meet any hot guys and escort them to fancy events?” she asked you curiously, taking a donut out of the box and biting into it.

“I met a lot of guys in the past months,” you answered and took a donut out of the box, too.

“And? Any husband material among them?” She wanted to know and took another bite of the pastry.

“You know I'm not looking for a husband, I don't need that.”

“C'mon, dear…don't tell me you didn't meet at least one hot lad,” she said, grinning at you. “Uhhh…you're blushing, baby” she teased you.

“I'm not blushing…” you stated vehemently, feeling the heat in your face. How embarrassing.

“Tell me everything about him, I want every detail.” Gabby shifted curiously back and forth on the bench.

“There's not much to tell…”

“I don't believe you…There's something in your eyes, come on, tell me about him,” Gabby insisted.

“He's tall, lean, with broad shoulders and a slender waist, endless long legs, every muscle of his body perfectly defined, his big hands know how to hold you, his beautiful blue eyes are staring into my soul like no one's eyes did before and his long black curls are an invitation to bury your nose and your fingers in it…and he always smells so good. But most importantly he's nice, eloquent and smart and he knows how to treat you like a lady, even if you're far away from being one.”

“Summarized, the guy is hot,” Gabby said, biting lustfully into her donut.

“And? Could he become your new boyfriend?” she mumbled.

“You know my rules, Gab, never fall in love with a client,” you answered, upset.

“Sure… you already failed, you have the heart-eyes, dearie” she teased you.

“That's not the only failure,” you murmured sadly.

“What do you mean?” Gabby questioned concernedly.

“I slept with him,” you continued, staring to the ground.

“What? Generally, it's not a failure but you just wanted to escort men to events or parties but you never wanted to have sex with them,” Gabby sounded genuinely concerned. “Why did you change your mind?”

“Because of my financial situation, my rent and the rent for mum's nursing home increased…and… I'm living really large.“

“Bullshit, we both know that's not true… was he nice to you, some men are… rampant when it's not their own girl they have sex with …”

“He was lovely and careful, he treated me with respect like he always does,” you answered silently.

“It wasn't easy to do it, was it?”

“With him it was, I feel kinda safe with him…otherwise, I couldn't have done it,” you explained.

“Sooo, you could enjoy it? Did you have lots of fun with him? Was he good with his…You know you deserve to have some fun, girl…bad enough you had to do it because you need more money.”

“Gabby, it's not about having fun. I don't want… not…with him…he's…he's…,” you stuttered and interrupted her harshly before she interrupted you again.

“...the sexiest guy? The hottest shit in town? The best you’ll ever get?” she questioned wonderingly.

“Don't make it just sexual. He's more than that…I'm… sure. If I just want to have sex I could have it with every man I escort,” you answered, trying to sound convinced.

“And, do you?” she wanted to know.

“Do what?”

“Having sex with the hottest or wealthiest men in town, you escort to events or to who knows what and had fun in bed with them?”

“No!” you answered harshly.

“Okay, so you don't want to have sex? Nasty, toe-curling sex?”

“No, I don't want to have… yes, I want it, but I want it just with him since…since…”You stuttered again.

“Since you got laid by him and since he did it right? The way you need it and deserve it? There's nothing wrong about it, get your cake and eat it. So why do you think it was a failure?” when Gabby talked about it, everything sounded so easy.

“I faked it,” you said sheepishly.

“Faked what?”

“My climax, I faked my climax.” You told her meekly.

“Are you serious? Why?” she asked unbelievingly.

“I wanted it to be done, it felt too good and I was afraid to give in to my emotions and enjoy the intimacy with him.”

“Why would you want it to end quickly when it felt so good? I don't get it.” Gabby smiled at you.

“I don't know, I'm just used to quickies, a man done within five minutes, not caring about what I want, not listening to me what I need…”

“But he hadn't finished within five minutes,” Gabby confirmed.

“No, he took his time with me”

“And you didn't want that?” Gabby asked unbelievingly.

“No…Yes…Damn Gab, I'm afraid to fall in love with him. And I'm sure he'd never want to be with someone like me, so my feelings for him would be futile,” you said whiney.

“You're afraid of loving him because he makes you feel good? Girl, you deserve to enjoy life and sex. Bad enough you have to make your money as an escort. Damn y/n let him fuck you into oblivion. Go and get your man! Fuck him, love him, marry him, have babies with him and leave that fucking agency.” she told you vehemently.

“If only I could, but I can't.” You retorted dejectedly.

“Of course, you can. You had a damn well-paid, serious job before. Why don't you work for another marketing agency? Do you just hesitate because of that damn bloody asshole you wasted the last five years on?”

“It wasn't like that right from the beginning…and it's not that easy...”

“Don't make me angry, dearest, I don't want to talk about that prick ever again. He's gone and he shouldn't affect your life anymore. Finish studying, look for another job quickly and grab Mr. Hotshot.” Gabby said, trying to encourage you.

“It's not that easy, studying is expensive, I have to pay my bills…”

“What are you not telling me, sweetheart? Hey, it's me, your old friend Gabby…I'm all ears, always,” she offered you.

You didn't know what to answer her but you couldn't tell her about every issue that plagued you and you just looked sadly at her.

Gabby didn't insist further on an answer, she knew sooner or later you would tell her everything about your problems and to pressure you wouldn't be successful.

“Is he the only one of your clients you have sex with?” Gabby wanted to know.

“Yes, he was the first and he'll be the only one. He's the only one imaginable for me,” you answered her genuinely.

“Does he know?”

“No, I try to stay a mystery, I don't want him to like me too much or to care too much about me,” you said calmly.

“And you're sure this is going to work?” Gabby raised her eyebrows in disbelief.

“We both keep it as a professional relationship,” you shrugged your shoulders.

“Of course, you do. Does he have extra females? Or just you and you only?” curiosity in her voice.

“I don't know. He's not obliged to tell me.”

“No sneaky stuff with other women? Girl, he wants to love you. He could have any woman but he wants you, he pays to see you. Will you see him again? Will you try to meet him again?”

“He has already booked me again, yes. For a fancy gala dinner and…he gifted me a dream of a silk evening gown,” and you showed her a photo of you, dressed in it, standing in front of your mirror.

“Gosh, girl you look amazing in that dress… and you want to tell me he just wants you as his escort? That evening gown is perfect. He did that on purpose and if you ask me, he has already left the ‘professional relationship area’. He wants to parade you around like: hey everyone, look at my stunning girl and she's mine, no one dares touch her and I'll protect her at any cost … I'd love to know what he looks like. I'm sure you're a gorgeous couple…”

“Forget it, I won't show you a photo of him. I protect my clients’ privacy. And I'm sure it's not his intention to parade me around. He just wanted to make sure that I'm properly dressed for said event.”

“If you say so,” and a knowing smile showed upon her face.

“Are you going to have sex with him again?”

“If he's open to it. I'd like to erase my mistake and maybe we can both have satisfying sex.”

“Hey, do it, enjoy it, there's nothing wrong with it,” Gabby assured you.

“But I let him pay for it. I need the money but to let him pay doesn't feel right somehow,” you complained.

“That's true but that's the deal. An escort lady gets paid. Fact is, if he is such a good-looking guy with a decent character he could have any woman, I suppose but he wants to be with you and is willing to pay for your service, whatever your services include. Give him and yourself a chance. But promise me to be always careful, you'll never know what's going on in a man’s head,” she said concernedly.

“I promise to take care of me and Walker looks after me when I'm on a date, intimate or not,” you tried to soothe her concern.

“Yeah, that's good. I'm glad he's there for you.”

“Yeah, I'm glad to have him. He makes me feel safe when I'm on a date,” you said, well aware that he was not the only one who gave you that feeling.

******************

Loki sat on a bench in Central Park on this sunny afternoon and read a few pages of his book. He recently got confirmation from Rhea, that you will escort him to the gala dinner tomorrow. He was excited to meet you. Would you wear the dress? It would be marvellous. The park was crowded with people jogging, parents playing with their kids and students sitting on the lawn and having lively discussions. People walked by his bench, talking, and laughing and some of them just silently walked side by side. Loki minded his own business and kept reading. When two women walked along the way, one of them telling funny stories about her kids, he looked up from his book for a brief moment, when they had already passed his bench and he just saw the backs of the casually dressed ladies.

The only thing that caught his attention were the trainers of the woman who listened to the other woman, who was talking. He liked the shoes’ colour, dark green, his favourite colour. He frowned and continued reading. He was sure he had seen trainers like these before. It seems, that green trainers are the trend this year.

🌹🥂🌃🌹🥃🌃🌹🥂❤️🌃🌹🥃🌃🌹🥂🌃

Taglist:

@lokisprettygirl @faesimps @gruftiela @fandxmslxt69 @buttercupcookies-blog @anukulee @chantsdemarins @fictive-sl0th @justjoanne242 @km-ffluv @stupidthoughtsinwriting @lovingchoices14 @wheredafandomat @lokixryss @huntress-artemiss @smolvenger

[xx-lemon-drop-xx]

Included Characters: Poseidon, Hermes, Adam, Jack, Hades and Sasaki.

Warnings: mentions of killing on Jack's part, child's name or gender not specified.

Request: Yes.

Words: 1,395

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

Poseidon

He's not a bad father, but he's not exactly the best father either. Poseidon is pretty stiff around a child I would imagine, even if it was his.

He has a tendency of telling them to shut up if they're being too loud or if they're crying. He's a bit lost at what to do at first.

Of course, Poseidon isn't stupid either, he'd watched Hades raise him and his siblings, he knows the basics. He makes sure the child gets fed, and bathed regularly, and if it's a baby their diaper gets changed immediately after soiling.

He does open up after awhile. If the kid wants to learn how to use a weapon similar to his Trident, Poseidon does teach them.

Forehead kisses when being tucked in, quiet tellings of a story that might or might not be a few thousand year old memory.

Patience is key is what his dearest brother had told him as a tip, so Poseidon assumes he will be a bit lenient on this young one. But not too lenient either. His kid needs to know who's in charge and who to listen too.

Hermes

Hermes is a great dad. Even if he's never been one before he immediately knows and understands the basics. He's intelligent and pretty much a natural at everything he does. It's like he's been handling a baby for years.

He's strict but calm and knows how to spoil his kid too. Hermes is very quick to teach this kid respect as well as giving his child gifts too.

Hermes makes sure to provide a healthy meal, though he isn't against giving out some junk food too, he does try to keep it a bit on the healthier side, though. Fruity smoothies instead of ice cream or cookies, frozen flavored ice instead of overly sugary Popsicles.

Dresses them up to perfection too. Very proud of his baby and knows their perfect in every way.

Teaches them how to play musical instruments from a young age. This kid is going to be able to perform so well people tear up at the sounds of their music and Hermes will make sure of it.

He reads to them at night. A chapter a night curled up in bed with his kid and afterwards he tucks them in and ensures they're cozy before leaving to go fulfill more duties himself.

Adam

We can't have father headcannons without the father of humanity himself being in here. Adam is #1 father. The gods go to his ass for help when a kids acting up. He knows what to do, he's been through it a million times, and he's a pro at it. This dude was probably the dad for his dad at some point.

His kid is both spoiled and respectful at the same time. Adam is always with them offering words of encouragement and soft kindness.

He tells this baby he loves them every day. And he makes sure his kid knows he loves them more than the world too.

Games, snacks, lounging around, playing outside, that's an everyday thing for him. He likes when his child is having fun and enjoying their life, and Adam will ensure that's what continues to happen.

He isn't used to wearing clothes so it's likely this baby is just running around in a diaper all the time.

It all depends when it's time for the kid to be tucked in for bed. If they want him to stay he stays. If they want a story he'll tell them a story. Snuggles? Of course.

He has an understanding of his first few kids most fights happen because of a misunderstanding. He'll always ask before discussing something with his kid if they just want him to listen, offer solutions, or if they want him to get involved. Most of the times they just want to be lent an ear.

Jack The Ripper

He's a decent father. He makes sure his love for his child is absolute because they deserve nothing more than to be loved, nurtured and cared for. He doesn't want anything to happen like what went down with his mother.

He enjoys seeing the glow of his child's true emotion through his eyes more than anything, and for once, fear may not be his favorite color anymore. It's the love when his darling baby sees him.

He is a protective father, he will kill with no mercy if someone dares to hurt his kid. And he will make sure their death is a slow one filled with misery.

He enjoys having Juice and crackers with his kid, seeing as they're too young to really enjoy a nice hot cup of tea yet. He does respect this, of course. He makes sure they eat both healthily but also eat things they enjoy as well.

Jack likes to tuck them in for bed. It isn't because they're going to sleep and he can do whatever he wants in silence for the next few hours, it's because of the reading. He's always been a big fan of reading and will read until they fall asleep or until he notices his kid has fallen asleep. Most of the time he ends up reading a good half of the book before realizing.

Hades

If there is such a thing as a wine dad, that's exactly what Hades is. Hades likes his wine as much as he likes his children.

Yes, children. This man is such a family man I honestly can see him wanting ~3 or more kids over the years.

Due to raising pretty much all of his brothers or at least helping to raise them, he knows how to do everything. I feel some of the gods go to him for help with this sort of thing. He knows how to change the diapers, how to feed them, burp them, deal with their tantrums etc.

He's a good dad. Butler makes his kid the best meals and he always makes sure they at least eat something healthy. If they don't they're sat at the table until they do. He prioritizes health over everything.

Spoils them rotten. They get whatever they want if they're being good. He's the God of wealth too, after all. His child also gets an extra seat with everything he's doing if they want, he knows some children can be clingy. Zeus probably was when he was a baby.

Cerberus is the most protective dog around Hades' kid. Hades doesn't even have to worry about someone messing with his child. That dog is tearing them to shreds already.

When they're tucked in at the end of the day he sits on the edge of his child's bed and talks to them for a few minutes. He might tell a story, or he might ask them how their day was. It all depends on the mood.

Sasaki

The jokester family dad. Sasaki may make mistakes as a father but he's still very fun and embraces his mistakes all the same.

He and his kid are always doing something. Cooking, outside having fun, inside playing games, it doesn't matter. This old man is energetic and can move.

When it comes to food he may not be the healthiest but he does make sure his child gets the proper nutrition they need, as well as plenty of junk food in between. I have a feeling Sasaki does have quite the sweet tooth himself so he's always sharing what he's eating.

He likes teaching his kid swordsmanship. Of course it's nothing potentially life threatening, he's too much of a worry wart to put his precious child through any of that. He does hope they find a sense of excitement from the fight and practice itself though. Having the heart of a warrior is never a bad thing.

It's more likely him and his kid would end up passing out on couches instead of going to their rooms to sleep, especially if there was a day full of activities they did. He loves the bond he and his child has and hopes nothing can sever it in the future.

[galedekarios]

that interview is driving me insane i've been thinking about it for the past hour and i still can't wrap my head around it. i think what really gets under my skin is it just... contradicts with the text of the game. the most positive possible reading of the ending where gale blows himself up is that it was an unavoidable tragedy dictated by fate but even that's a stretch. to say it's a good ending?? or a satisfying conclusion to his arc?? i call bull. it's more infuriating because there is such a clear good ending for gale's character arc and it's the professor ending! his arc was about learning to accept himself as he was, to value who he is as he is flaws and all, and he's done that in the professor ending! and the god of ambition ending is a bad end for him but still ties into his overall arc in a satisfying if sad way (imo). the ending where he dies just... doesn't. which is fine as a tragedy but to imply it isn't exactly that, a tragedy, is wild to me. and it being so blatantly contradictory to the actual events of the game makes me think that whole thing was just catering to people who hate gale which like... why? people who don't like him don't care about his story so why pander to them like this?

uhg. i am sorry for blowing up your inbox like this i just feel like i'm gonna rip my hair out and need to express that to a fellow gale appreciator. i love gale's epilogue SO MUCH it made me feel for a bit like maybe the writers had actually changed how they felt about him but. nope! silly of me to hope for that. wish i could memory wipe that whole interview from my brain dark urge style.

don't be sorry at all! 🖤 i feel the same way in a lot of ways. altho i feel the need to mention that gale's writer, jan van dosselaer, was not involved in this interview.

i started to make a meta post about this yesterday, but reading things like this from gale:

act ii [after elminster] Player: An old man with a craving for cheese. Hardly the great wizard of legend. Gale: A wizard doesn't reach Elminster's age without enjoying their home comforts. Those who seek danger over cheese don't tend to live as long. Gale: For Mystra to have sent him... The severity of her bidding could not be clearer. Or weigh more heavily on me. devnote: reflecting on mystra sending elminster, of all people - a powerful individual, becoming reflective. Gale: Time seems so infinite when you are young... a month is an age, a year is a lifetime... it is a strange feeling, to realise how little of it one might have left. Player: You're seriously considering doing what Elminster said?   Gale: Of course - he offered the clearest solution to our problem. All I have to do is find the right place and time, close my eyes, and let go... devnote: Trying to sound upbeat, not fully engaging with what he's saying (that he's going to kill himself). Gale: Then the slate will be clean, wrongs will be righted, the Absolute will be gone... devnote: Trying to sound upbeat, not fully engaging with what he's saying (that he's going to kill himself). Gale: ...and I along with it. devnote: Still trying to sound upbeat, though this time the reality that this means he will die weighs a bit heavier

and:

act ii [act ii romance scene] Gale: I am terrified - I will not claim otherwise. My face could scarcely conceal it even if my words sought to deny it. nodecontext: Hushed, vulnerable Gale: There is no point in running from the inevitable. Better to meet it, on my own terms. nodecontext: Resigned

as well as this:

act ii [act ii friendship version] Gale: Yes... but there is so much to live for, and so few moments in which to house it all. Gale: Damn you. Damn you for giving me so much to care about. Our friends, our adventures... this would have been so much easier if it was just me. But it isn't. Gale: If there is a way - any way - to save all that's grown dear to me, I want to seize it. I just cannot fathom what that might be, other than to fail Mystra and condemn the world. Gale: Stay with me, will you? I don't want to think of it any more, but I don't want to be alone either.

act iii [before the netherbrain] Player: Gale... I think we should consider using the orb as Mystra intended. To blow up the Netherbrain. Gale: I'm getting rather tired of how often those I care about seem to reach the same conclusion.

when you have this:

and i just... couldn't finish the meta.

it's absolutely beyond comprehension for me how anyone could try to frame this as an ending that is the right one in "many ways", as the "guy who starts off annoying everyone", eating your "most priced possessions", having to "give back to the world".

for the founder of the company to say he wasn't "ready" the "first time", but he's finally "ready" now.

gale's death isn't only unnecessary, an instruction given to him by his former mentor on the behalf of a goddess, who would've sacrificed not only him but thousands of others to achieve her own goals, he doesn't want to die. he's terrified. he wants to live. he is offering this because he believes that his time has run out. because he wants his death to have purpose if it must happen. because he feels he made a mistake far bigger than he can ever make up for. because he doesn't want others to waste their chance at life like he feels he has. the will he leaves behind in the epilogue if he sacrifices himself isn't finished because he thought there would be more time. i could go on and on.

and again, the question is too... for what exactly does he need to "give back to the world"?

being perceived as annoying after coming out of what is presented as isolation and depression? asking for help with a now chronic impairment that feeds on his very soul and wreaks havoc on his body? for making a mistake? by that logic every companion deserves the same fate.

which brings me to the contrast to how most of the other companions are framed in this interview: k*rlach, "the labrador of the party". l*e'zel, "she's so young". ast*rion, "much of what he does it out of fear". sh*dowheart, "the jason bourne" and "victim of religous trauma". w*ll, "the true baldur's gate hero".

the difference is staggering. there's empathy here. there's at least a surface level understanding and/or appreciation of the characters there.

...and then you have gale.

it's alienating and disappointing to see devs have so little respect and care for their own character, as well as for the parts of their fandom who have grown attached to the character exactly for the strengths and flaws he has, for the struggles he faces and for the healing journey he can have if he is helped and lives.

[thommi-tomate]

Heiko Vogel (former Bayern academy trainer) on Thomas :

He is absolutely one of the most intelligent players I’ve ever trained

The first time I met him, he was 12, It was before he came to Bayern Munich and he was playing in a youth tournament for his hometown. He was pretty good, so we asked him: ‘Could you imagine coming to us?’ and he said, ‘Yes, of course’.

When he got to the under-15s, I was his coach. It was a very good time, I think, because we were very successful. Our philosophy at Bayern Munich was to play our younger players against older teams. We played with our under-15s in an under-17s league. It was very hard, but I think that was an important concept for us.

We had a lot of brilliant players. Not really fast ones, not players who were amazing athletes, but those who had a good mindset and a very special type of game intelligence

The age difference — and the artificial disadvantages it exposed the young players to — put a premium on that game intelligence; on thinking more quickly, finding better solutions, dealing with physical deficits and, occasionally, older players not averse to roughing up a young Bayern prospect.

To some, Muller is a ferocious player — defined by his will to compete and win. Watching him now, applying himself in the same way that he did before he won everything football had to offer, there is no question that he has, to some extent, remained at the top of the sport by sheer force of will. By luck, too, because he has evaded serious injury and rarely been unavailable.

But he is also a timeless footballer whose qualities are out of step with modern trends. He is not particularly fast or technical and his strength is hardly overwhelming, yet he has so often profited from being first to a loose ball or quickest to anticipate how a passage of play might develop. He does not clip passes around the pitch or play with an obvious subtlety, but managed — at the peak of his career — to be one of the foremost creators in European football.

We would always be limiting touches in training. We would play with one touch, two touches — or with three touches and then with one. It was never the same. Everything would be changing. We would move the goals, too, or play with only one goal, or even three

We would mix up the duels: two vs two, three vs one, two vs three. These are all components that are very important in developing game intelligence — in getting players to be clever. If you don’t have the body to handle the situation, you have to be fit in your mind

One of his greatest strengths is his family. I love his father. For a developing player, it’s very important to have a father like that. He was always supporting him but always in the background. It meant that Thomas had to learn to handle all the situations he encountered for himself. Whether he was playing or not playing — things like that. He knew that his family was always there, but he was alone in those moments.

Then, after each season, his father would have a conversation with one of the coaches or with me. After the season, he’d ask me, ‘What do you think about his development this season? Is it OK? Is it not OK? Can he improve something?’

In that lies the most likely explanation for why Muller has been so important to such a long line of coaches, from Louis van Gaal to Jupp Heynckes, Pep Guardiola to Hansi Flick. On and on, regardless of formation or philosophy, like a footballer impervious to change, happy to live on his wits.

And that adaptability seems to afford him special status. Nobody has anything bad to say about Muller. Rival supporters might envy his medal collection and Bayern Munich’s success inspires plenty of resentment, but little of it is drawn towards him despite being such an obvious symbol of their dominance.

How can that be?

Thomas Müller is Thomas Müller. Sometimes, you see players play a role — you see them perform for the cameras — but Thomas doesn’t do that. He never has. He doesn’t have those insecurities and he is not an actor.

He is what you see, all the time

[satureja13]

Ji Ho has the deeper connection to the Bond. The craving and the urge to charge the Bond is stronger than Vlad's, so of course he felt Vlad approaching and he eagerly waited for him. It's painful for both of them (but more painful for Vlad, because the Bond hates him ^^') when the Bond is raging and Vlad feels bad because he hadn't been more aware. He hates to hurt Ji Ho. But these are thoughts for later. Now they only needed each other to touch, hold... And when Vlad pulled Ji Ho close and his breath ghosted over his neck before his lips tasted him, Ji Ho was in bliss. Has Vlad changed his mind and will they finally start a physical relationship so he could become more comfortable around Vlad? Saiwa and Jack watched them in awe.

Until... Jack sensed it first, Vlad was about to bite Ji Ho! They already overstretched the Bond too far and Vlad wasn't himself anymore! Vlad once died because of Ji Ho's poisonous blood so they have to be careful even though their Bond now protects Vlad from the poison. But we also know how fickle and vengeful the Bond can be... Jack: "Vlad stop it! You can't bite Ji Ho!" Ji Ho was shocked. Vlad wasn't about to kiss him. He wanted to bite him. Because he lost control - again. (Ji Ho looks so hurt, it's breaking my heart 😭)

Ji Ho left to care for Kiyoshi and Jeb, glad to escape this awkward and painful situation.

And the others went inside and tried to calm down so they could discuss Vlad's adventures in the Therapy Game. How annoyed Yang Mal looks! And Jack is smiling even though he's so upset because they are making baby steps forward :3 Even if it doesn't look like it. And so Vlad told them how beautiful the world was, about it's horse-eating inhabitants...

...and the threats (he means NPC Leander lol). Saiwa: "This is better than expected! The feelings, even if painful, stay in the game and don't affect us when we log out. We can explore our therapy in our own pace and if it's too hard, we can just leave. And Tiny can even managed to adress all your problematic behaviors and made them quests and offered solutions! That's just amazing!" Vlad: "What problematic behaviors are you even talking about? I wasn't there for a therapy -I was just playtesting so you can safely get your therapy!" Saiwa: "What problematic behaviors? I don't even know where to begin! Your foolish pride, your bad temper, your silly attitudes... and you're still unable to forgive Leander after all he'd done for us because you're jealous!" Vlad: "He touched Ji Ho!" Saiwa: "And what about you? You just tried to bite him! That's far worse! Ji Ho trusts you and does anything to learn how to love you and you only think of your own needs and you're unable to keep ypur teeth to yourself!"

Jack: "Boys. All we need to know is that the Game is safe and it'll help us. Because we all (!) clearly need help. I will go back." Saiwa: "No!" Jack: "Who will then? Vlad?" Vlad "No way! I've seen enough!" Jack: "Saiwa needs to supervise the computer and Tiny Can. We should wait before we send Ji Ho to not open the Pandor's Box and let out all his surpressed feelings at once. So I'm the only one left. I can do this. 'Cause I'm the Super Soldier after all!" The Super Soldier looks like he already has a clear vision of his mission ^^'

Ji Ho is on his way back home. To care for Jeb and Kiyoshi. Lost in thoughts. Yes, he knows Vlad loves him. But how deep is this love when Vlad has no control? He knows how afraid Ji Ho is of him. And again Ji Ho pondered about if Morgan was right. That Vlad was under a spell and his love for him wasn't real. Ji Ho had been so worried when Vlad was ingame, after what had happened to Jack. And Vlad's only concern is to sink his teeth in his neck. Tch. (But Ji Ho's neck still tingles where Vlad pressed his lips against his heated skin...) Vlad and the Bond are the only stable things in his life. The only things no one can take from him. He's not able to love Vlad (yet) but he tries and he can't loose him. Ji Ho is also determined to make this therapy a success - as soon as they let him.

Little Goat: 'Aww I really hoped he would kiss him!' Other Little Goat: 'Ikr! Nonetheless - it was so hot when he grabbed him omg!' First Little Goat: 'Let's visit Tiny Can and talk about some BL plot ideas for the Therapy Game!' (One of their anchestors must have been a Satyr or something ^^')

Plus: When I logged in, it was still raining. But when Vlad came near Ji Ho, it stopped! (Like last time!)

'I know your eyes in the morning sun I feel you touch me in the pouring rain And the moment that you wander far from me I wanna feel you in my arms again And you come to me on a summer breeze Keep me warm in your love, then you softly leave And it's me you need to show

How deep is your love? I really mean to learn 'Cause we're living in a world of fools Breaking us down when they all should let us be We belong to you and me'

How Deep Is Your Love - Bee Gees

From the Beginning  ~  Underwater Love ~  Latest 🕹️ 'Therapy Game' from the beginning ▶️ here 📚 Previous Chapters: Chapters: 1-6 ~ 7-12 ~ 13-16 ~ 17-22 ~ 23-28

[yasashiinaya]

So this is probably gonna be a long post about how rain world changed my perspective on life and death. There'll be references to in game lore as well as my personal thoughts on real life. I'll assume you're familiar with most of the lore.

So where do I even start?

Rain world is probably the game that has had the most profound effect on me. On its surface it's just a game about poor slugcat exploring this dangerous world, but under the surface it is deeply philosophical. Reading all the pearls, visiting all the echos, and playing through all the campaigns (including downpour) really made me appreciate it.

In rain world we have an answer to the afterlife. We know there is one and we know roughly what it entails. It's unclear how the ancients knew reincarnation was real. Maybe they remembered past lives, maybe there was some feature that made it obvious it was them again, we'll never know. Perhaps one purpose of the data pearls was to store knowledge of past lives for them to learn through.

So.. why did they want to leave the cycle? A great question. It's clear that the ancients cared a lot about life after all. We get some insight into them in the shaded citadel pearl (dark pink). It's a pearl from the memory crypts. A list 620 items long about Seventeen Axes, Fifteen Spoked Wheel's accomplishments. Maybe they were a summary of one life, maybe of all lives. We can assume it was put in the crypts after they ascended. Considering there are engineered organisms patrolling the memory crypts, surely this all meant a lot to them. Why did they want to ascend? Well it's clear not all of them did. Rhinestones beneath Shattered Glass (undergrowth) tells us this:

"Do you see the same as me? Beauty continuing to bloom even in a place long forgotten. I did not have the will to depart, nor the desire. Why did they always search for an escape, as if we were imprisoned? What offering from the void could usurp the gift of life already given? This moment, right here! It is where we are meant to be."

Echos exist cause they were not done with life. It's not some sort of punishment, it's just what happens when ascending is not something they truly wanted. The Farm Arrays pearl (pink) says that there were horror stories that if your ego was too big, the void fluid couldn't ascend you, leaving you an echo. Is it truly ego? Maybe being echos has changed the ones that remain but most don't seem like they have massive egos. Nineteen Spades, Endless Reflections thinks that they remain cause they can't let go of their memories. Four Needles under Plentiful Leaves asks if they should be ashasmed that they envy our flesh prison. A Bell, Eighteen Amber Beads still contemplates the same fields they once did. In the saint campaign, they theorize that they remain cause they feel the land has yet to reveal all of its secrets. They still hold onto the place despite it changing so.

They're imprisoned because they clearly didn't want to go. There are probably countless echos that exist merely because they felt pressured to cross themselves out. The iterators are stuck trying to find the triple affirmative. Some iterators want to ascend themselves but are incapable due to their biology. So.. if an iterator were to die, what would happen to them? Would they be stuck in a sort of limbo since no new iterators were made? Perhaps. If ascended by the saint, Looks To The Moon and Five Pebbles can see the entire loop of their existence, while also mentioning that it is only a dream. If both are ascended at the same time, it's clear they don't understand the afterlife at all. They don't know if they've broken free or not. They wouldn't have known if they found the right solution.

Let's talk about saint. It's unclear what they really are. They are an echo yet they are stuck in a repeating cycle. Or are they? Is it a cycle begun anew? They are a triple affirmative in all senses. A portable solution that is generally applicable. Upon ascending both iterators, they say this:

BSM: Only those who have seen the other side can know the answers, but by definition they can never venture back to deliver the knowledge they have gained.

FP: Perhaps that is why you need to wake up, little visitor.

Are we stuck because we have seen the other side and must help the others? Is the saint's purpose to ascend everyone? Did we see the first cycle or did we see one of countless? Are they wrong and we are stuck because our ego convinces us we can "fix" the world. Are we even right in ascending those who did not ask for it?

Crossing the Rubicon is an idiom that means passing a point of no return. When Julius Caesar crossed the Rubicon, it led to a civil war and him becoming a dictator. Saint passing the point of no return did not mean that they couldn't come back afterwards, it meant that they became something else. What is the rubicon in rain world even? The iterators suggest it is a dream, is it? Why are the guardians trying to keep us from crossing? Perhaps the void sea itself doesn't want us to cross. Perhaps it's a test to see if we're worthy.

Is ascension even meant to be? Why would there be a method of ascension that could be mass produced? The void sea almost seems like a cop out, no? the pearl in the filtration system (teal) tells us that the void sea is an entity that dissolves the rock. Maybe it just crosses out anything it comes into contact with, including creatures. I don't think it's meant for us.

When I first ascended as the survivor I was left in awe. I went in blind and had no idea what the ending would be like. It took reading a lot of the lore for me to somewhat understand. These mysterious creatures lived in the void sea and for some reason helped us? Did we really ascend? What even is the purpose of the void worms? The sense of mystery is captivating

As a thanks for reading this far: Have a drawing I made

Moving on to section 2: my own personal thoughts

I really started to think about life and death after wrapping up everything. Is there an afterlife in the real world? Should there be one? Do I even want to know the answer? Some background on me: I grew up in a family that knew no religion. Fairly spiritual but it wasn't a big part of their lives. I was aware christianity was a thing but my family didn't believe in any gods and didn't teach me any of that stuff. I didn't start learning about the afterlife in other cultures until religion class in school. My dad passed away when I was a kid so I was kinda left theorizing on what lies beyond the veil. No one tried to tell me what the right answer was cause no one knew. So.. what do I think? I'm not sure. For the most part I've just kinda figured my spirit returns to the earth once I'm gone, but will there be something left of me? Will I move on? I.. don't know. For a long time I didn't really mind the idea of dying. I didn't care what was on the other side. I didn't particularly care about life either. It took me a long time to see how precious things actually are. Heck, it took me until just this year to figure what afterlife is most desireable to me. So again, what do I think? The idea of heaven just feels wrong. Is it just life part 2? How cruel is that. An afterlife of happiness and no negativity? What's the point of that? Without my flaws and my pain, am I really me? An afterlife of eternal happiness would just leave me as an empty shell devoid of any real depth. A cruel prank by the gods to collect hollow mortals to spend time with them perhaps. Is reincarnation much better? Must my memories disappear, leaving me with no idea I was someone else? All the hurdles I overcame and connections I made, gone? For naught? Just to start over? I suppose I wouldn't know anymore, I wouldn't remember, but it feels like a sad fate. Perhaps I'm more attached to the world than I realize.

Maybe the ancients weren't so wrong. Maybe being crossed out is the answer. I think the afterlife I want is no afterlife at all. An end I wouldn't even be aware of. Unaware I ever existed. When we go to sleep, we don't know we're actually gonna wake up, do we? When I went under for surgery, the world just faded away. No memories of my last moments, no memories of it happening. That's what I hope the end will be like. Unaware in peaceful bliss. Falling asleep and never waking up again. Is it the happiest of endings? Perhaps not, but it is a fair ending. I guess I'm not so different from the ancients. Perhaps they were right in seeking a way to just disappear and never come back, but I suppose we won't know if that's what they actually got.

Farewell internet stranger, I hope you enjoyed my theories

[twilight-at-midnight]

Edward Cullen x reader

Pairing: Edward Cullen x reader

Warnings: None

Requested: Yes

Request: @jamiebarnesws

***

Your new life as a vampire started shortly after turning eighteen years old, knowing you’d be stuck on that number forever, you wanted to make the best of it and bring good into this world.

However, because of the age you were at the time you had changed, it had you developing a mental trauma. A little while later, you started hunting down newborns, mostly teenager ones who couldn’t control themselves as you brutally kill them. It didn’t feel right in the beginning, but than you started seeing this more of a calling and what you were meant to do for the world. You believed you were doing a good deed for the world by making the streets a little safer to walk on day or night.

As you would hunt them down, you would turn it into a little game as a source of entertainment. At first, you start out by chasing them mockingly as you knew they were very much aware of your presence, which is followed by a hysteric and manic like laughter sprouting from your dead lungs. When it finally leads to the deadly encounter with you in dark alleyways, you take that opportunity to sneak up behind them and rip their heads from the rest of them before starting the fires. This activity unexpectedly begins to scare you a little, but fighting against the urge for a kill is stronger than your resistance as you continue doing so. You kept this up until after meeting your mate, Edward Cullen. Even the first little while of your relationship with Edward started off a bit rocky, as you both realize how mentally unstable you are and soon enough, the rest of the family had become aware before they had started to do whatever to help you overcome these urges.

Instead of giving up on killing completely, you had switched from killing newborns to killing the criminals that walked the streets, some even involved the most dangerous street gangs. You kept this hidden, or at least you tried to as you keep forgetting Edward can read minds. After finding out this side of you, he confronts you and you admit it with such shame you never felt before. Once the dark secret was out, Edward had come up with a solution that could either work in your favor or do the complete opposite. The idea was to attend Forks High School together as new students, and that’s where you meet best friend, Bella Swan.

You shared more classes with Bella than you did with Edward. How you meet is quite amusing, it was during gym class and you were playing volleyball. When she smacked the ball over the net, it hit you and she immediately comes to you with rushed, yet sincere apologies.

“I’m sorry! I told them not to let me play.” Bella says.

“It’s fine, really. No harm done.” you promise, smiling reassuringly at her.

From them on, you both become about as much inseparable as you and Edward were, loving the fact you studied at the same school together.

Not long after Bella learns of the vampire world, you trusted her enough to tell her of your past while expecting harsh judgment. But you were pleasantly surprised when she sat there with you, listening to you with any judgments whatsoever. Bella was your next go to for a shoulder to cry on, she was a good listener, best friend. In return, you offer her your ears as well and little advice.

Edward was pleased with the fact the solution was solved, and so it was.

***

@twilight-at-midnight

Requests: open

Characters:

• Edward Cullen

• Carlisle Cullen

• Emmett

• Jasper

• Alice

• Rosalie

• Bella

• Benjamin

• Vladimir

• Stefan

• Jacob

• Victoria

• Riley

• Aro

• Marcus

• Caius

• Alec

• Jane

[wromwood]

The newest episode of Futurama ("Quids Game") could've been a lot better - and here's how

Today, I watched the (current) newest episode of Futurama, "Quids Game." While it was one of the better Hulu episodes, I still felt dissatisfied by the end. That was surprising; while the story wasn't perfect, it was so promising. I suppose that's why I'm as disappointed as I am.

Fortunately, I think I can pinpoint the sources of this episode's largest faults, and even offer solutions that could, if not fix it, at least raise it into being the promising episode that I was hoping for.

If you've seen "Quids Game" or don't mind spoilers, read on!

So, what went wrong?

While I also have smaller critiques for this episode, I believe its largest flaw resides in how disconnected Fry's childhood experience (losing all[?] his friends after winning multiple games in a row at his 8th birthday party) is from the episode's plot in the present (being forced to play supposedly deadly recreations of those games in a recreation of said birthday party).

This might seem like a paradox. After all, the memories of Fry's past are literally creating the episode's present peril. How could they not be connected? But, on a deeper narrative level, they really aren't.

If you look at it from only present Fry's POV, he's brought back to a recreation of his worst birthday party on his current birthday by malevolent aliens. He and his friends/coworkers/peers are subject to the game, and they all believe that the losers are getting permanently killed as the game goes on. Fry's trauma about cheating comes up occasionally, but whether he avoids it or accepts, people "die" in any case. Finally, he dies after accidentally "killing" Bender while intentionally trying to win. Everyone's brought back to life anyway, there's no comeuppance for the evil aliens, and Fry's only closure for this event is Leela and the others telling him that they believe he's not a cheater.

That feels woefully unsatisfying, especially because only the audience sees the real "twist" of the episode: that Fry's parents were behind their son's "victories" during the party, and they don't even know how miserable they made his son. Without this knowledge, Fry is left thinking he was solely responsible of the events that branded him as a "cheater" to his old friends, with nothing to comfort him but the support of some of his current peers saying they believe he's not a cheater. He didn't really learn or resolve anything.

I kept thinking about the twist of a more successful episode, "The Lucky of the Fryrish," where Fry learns that his brother Yancy stole his clover, but gave to to his (Yancy's) own son as a tribute to his (Fry's) disappearance. That revelation changed Fry's memories about his brother, his feelings about needing the lucky clover. Even though he went back to his "unlucky" life, his choice had meaning and resolved the episode nicely.

Sometimes, you can get around the characters learning this vital information, like in "Jurassic Bark." Fry doesn't know about Seymour waiting the rest of his doggie life for him, and it's so effective and sad that they had to retcon this ending to help me fans sleep at night. However, this is after Fry made a choice based on what he assumed happened to Seymour in the past. It's a bad decision due to dramatic irony (and some logic), but a good one as a character choice. Fry has such faith that his dog would have moved on without him, that he chooses not to clone him out of a sort of kindness, leaving the past in peace.

But there's no such character choice or delicious tragedy (Fry losing his friends just feels crummy, no where near as powerfully and heart-wrenchingly horrible as a doggie missing his owner for the rest of its life) to balance out "Quids Game." Everything kind of happens "just because," especially because the stakes are practically nonexistent. (Of course no one is actually dead! How would you have the rest of the show?)

Here are my proposed fixes...

First, the episode should establish that Fry doesn't just have a strong emotional aversion to being perceived as a cheater. He should also have an aversion to competition. (We're already retconning Fry's aversion to cheating [see how he cheated at poker when he could read minds in Into the Wild Green Yonder]; we can retcon this too, as a treat)

This could actually blend well with Fry's easy-going slacker personality. He's not (just) slacking off due to laziness. It's also due to this inherent fear of competition. After all, the one time he wished he could succeed and tried his best, he was accused of cheating and abandoned by his friends. The success he got from his seven-leaf clover was different; luck always is. He probably counted on the clover's luck to keep people from turning on him or leaving him. But actual effort in a win-or-lose situation? Either he fails and feels that inevitable pain, or he succeeds and people leave him.

Second, Fry should show visible distress every time he moves on from a challenge. With the exception of the birthday candles, he should clearly show he's experiencing dread with each "victory", even though he's winning. He should also show a lot more concern/pain when people die. He's not just beating them: they're leaving him. This will make the reveal that his old friends abandoned him hit stronger.

Third, Fry's parents should learn about how their plan backfired.

Fourth, Fry should learn about his parents rigging every game. Here's my proposed semi-fanfic of a solution:

Pinning the tail on the donkey will be the straw that breaks the camel's back for Fry. He panics, throwing off his blindfold and shouting that he's never going to play: not this game, not anything ever again. To the aliens' surprise and frustration, he runs off into the hallways of the house... and unintentionally, falls into the bowels of their "machine."

Yes, in this version of the story, we see glimpses of the machine from the inside. It's a huge and highly advanced supercomputer, allowing Fry to see its calculations and productions in progress. Fry wanders the area for a bit until he finds an interesting set of calculations. A screen shows memories from his POV: a child-sized first-person perspective. Another screen shows an environment being extrapolated from that data. Fry deduces aloud that the computer must be predicting and generating everything from details extracted from his memories.

He wanders further and finds an area labeled "Irrelevant Memories." One of the projections (a generated image of what young Fry would've looked like at that moment) shows young Fry in the middle of the night after the party. He's tossing and turning in bed, crying in his sleep.

Fry explains aloud that he was so sad that night that he even cried in his sleep. He wasn't fully awake or asleep, but he could hear some of his family talking from behind the ajar bedroom door. We, the audience, hear a few phrases among the muttering: "ruined his party"... "think he's a cheater"... "he can't risk doing anything"

But then the machine begins new processes. Audio isolation, AI detection of words. Suddenly, as Fry stares at the shadows of his parents and brother (the only things that he can glimpse past his bedroom's generated door), he can hear what they're saying.

Yancy, in fact, told his parents, "Way to go, you guys. You ruined Phillip's party by rigging every game!"

Fry has only just begun to process this when more screens appear, displaying AI predictions of how this was accomplished. This is how we see the montage of his parents rigging the games.

"Well, we can't tell him about this," his dad said. "His friends already think he's a cheater. It'd be cruel to take his victories from him."

"He'd hate us for this, I know it," said his mom. "But I can't just have him think he can't risk doing anything!"

"I don't hate you, Mom!" Fry can't help but say to the shadows. And he means it.

Suddenly, the shadows are gone and his mom is by his bedside, holding his younger self. Fry remembers this, but he's staring at his mom in a new way.

As she comforts him, his younger self cries that he'll never make another friend like the best friend he lost.

"But I did," says Fry.

He'll never have people who'll want to throw a birthday party for him like this ever again.

"But I will," says Fry.

What's the point of trying to win if it makes people hate him?

To this, Fry can't say anything.

But then his mom holds his younger self tighter and tells him that it's not important whether he wins or loses. The important thing is that he tries his best to get what he wants. Even if he loses, the effort will be worth it. And in the future, he'll make better friends, and they won't accuse him of cheating when good things happen to him.

"Besides," she adds, "maybe you dodged a bullet by losing friends who'd care so much about party games. After all, none of it's real."

Fifth, the climax of the episode plays out a little differently.

Suddenly, Fry is grabbed by the aliens and dragged back to Pin the Tail on the Donkey. To avoid anyone doing what Fry did, they gouge out the remaining players' eyes. However, as the game proceeds, a strange sense of calm has washed over Fry. Fry rallies Bender's spirits and asks that they win this game together, as best friends.

Then Fry accidentally kills Bender.

But in this version, Bender doesn't call Fry a cheater. He says, "At least you killed me... fair and square..." before he dies.

Fry wails over the body of his friend after he "wins" and gets his sight back. He cries out, "This can't be real!" Then he gasps. "None of it's real."

Fry wrenches his pin out of Bender, then takes out a blindfold, wraps it around himself, and spins around. He lurches towards the donkey, shouting "None of it's REAL!"

... only to get swallowed by the donkey too.

Suddenly, Fry appears in another room inside the machine. All of the "dead" players are there, alive and well.

This is when the truth of the games is revealed: the aliens never intended for anyone to permanently die. They kidnap beings, force them to play to the death in traumatic situations for gambling purposes, then revive them before wiping their memories and returning them to their home planets. The aliens can't risk being caught, but they also can't risk mass disappearances raising any eyebrows.

Fortunately, the presence of the cops (Smitty and URL) prove to have significance: they had gotten a tip about where the aliens would be next, and learned that Planet Express's "birthday" route would likely cross their path. The cops purposefully got themselves invited to the party to travel to this exact part of the galaxy and catch the aliens in the act. The aliens get comeuppance and are transported to jail.

As they return home, Leela apologizes for Fry's birthday being so crummy, what with all the "watching your friends and loved ones die" that occurred. It was probably his worst birthday ever.

"Well, I am traumatized," Fry admits. "But it also kinda fixed the trauma about my last worst birthday ever. So I guess it balances out."

"At least you won your birthday games again," said Leela. "And don't worry. None of us think you're a cheater."

"Well..." Fry shrugs. "I don't think that matters so much anymore. As long as I have you, I'll always be a winner."

And on that corny note, the episode ends.

.... Well, those are my thoughts! Let me know if you agree with my changes or not.