#off the top of my head that's everything
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4:3 is literally the best 3rd case. The defendant is physically incapable of operating the murder weapon. The prosecution is briefly accused of the murder in court by the judge. The murderer has hair shaped like a penis. The defense's long-lost mother gets stuffed in a guitar case. Apollo was traumatized by watching a man die in his arms. Klavier is upset because he lost his pink sparkly keys and his guitar was set on fire. Also someone died at his concert, I guess. The Gavinners canonically wear lipstick.
#this is everything off the top of my head#smooziespeaks#ace attorney#apollo justice#klavier gavin#ace attorney apollo justice#aa4
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wait is the whole thing of Tommy saying "it must be nice to have a whole crew behind you" foreshadowing that when he and Buck go through their rough patch, Buck will have Maddie, Josh, and Bobby to talk to and Tommy will... have no one?
#bucktommy#911#tommy kinard#evan buckley#also i'm sure that's not the exact quote I cannot remember it off the top of my head#just thinking about buck going around to all these people he loves and trusts#asking their advice#and tommy sitting on his couch running through everything in his head and having no one to talk it out with#but im okay im fine#*she was in fact not fine*#he thinks about going to eddie briefly#but he knows eddie is going through his own shit#and he also feels like he cant exactly go to eddie for advice about evan because it wouldn't be fair to put him in the middle of it#same with howie
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I was rereading your amazing AUs and a thought occurred to me. The main divergent difference between the two aus, Painted and Distorted, is if Tommy kills Tubbo or not.
But, Ranboo had been the one to pay for help, which had everyone arrive to help stop Dream.
Perhaps earlier in the Distorted timeline there was a word or action that made the difference between Ranboo getting help or not (Or just plot reasons), but what would have happened if everyone had shown up after Tommy killed Tubbo?
Oughh Some strange neutral route would happen i guess…
This would be the only au where Dream is imprisoned instead of killed, since Tommy is too shocked and wouldn’t have let go of Tubbo. I think Tubbo would still be revived eventually, clingy would be on better terms. Tommy isn’t left to fester so he’s in a better state than in Di but worse than in Pi. Neutral middle route sskdhdj
#dream smp#distorted illusions#sorta#rozoodles#comics#rozu asks#yeshellosup#these are just the first thoughts off the top of my head#not sure how everything would play out later on#I imagine Ranboo helps Tommy a lot in the healing arc#which i think is kinda funny thinking bout it… Pi healing arc is clingyduo focused#Di is crrimeboys focused#and this one would be aliiumduo skdjdj#timelines are great I love different timelines#ty for the ask :]
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actually. @moonlarked you wanted someone to talk about near & light as parallels? cuz uh...
ok SO, my big hot take on near is something like this: one of the most common criticisms i see about near is that he is simply too apathetic/bored/uncaring/etc, and that because he is not as emotionally invested as L, his win against light doesn't feel nearly (lol) as satisfying as it could've been. this is a view that often frustrates me, but for a very particular reason— namely, while i think it is somewhat accurate in content, i think it misses a lot of important context (and also misses a lot of the importance of light's character arc, but we'll get to that much later).
one of the most important things to remember about the wammy's kids is that, whether they like it or not, each and every one of them is defined almost entirely through their relationship to L. this is perhaps more obvious in the case of characters like BB and mello, who are very Aware of this shadow being cast upon them and react in very overt, emotional ways (e.g. becoming a literal serial killer out of seemingly pure spite & desire to be noticed, idolizing him but in a very emotionally complicated, kinda detached sorta way, etc), but it is true for Every wammy's kid, purely because of how the house itself functions. these kids are being raised to be L's successor— the greatest (and second greatest, and third greatest) detective on the planet. this is the ultimate goal hanging over every one of their heads, and it places a constant pressure on every kid there.
oftentimes, i think (perhaps both out of story and in it, as well?) people get so caught up in comparing near to L that they forget he also falls under this umbrella— only, for near, his position is slightly different because he actually somewhat succeeds at the task? like, yeah, L never gets the chance to officially call near his successor, but between the fact that he's constantly called the #1 kid at wammy's and that he. literally does actually end up becoming the new L after kira, i think it's always been pretty clear what his path was going to be.
going back to my starting point, this is one of the main ways that near makes a really good parallel to light in my mind, specifically the light that we see right at the start of the series. in both cases, near and pre-DN light, we see a kid who has succeeded at everything they've been handed, and more notably, we see a kid who is bored out of his fucking mind looking at the prospects of what he's got.
in the case of light, this is maybe a little more realistic/easy to understand— light does well in academics, he does well in sports, he does well with people. he is likely to follow in his father's footsteps with something criminal justice/police/law related, but even if he diverges from that path it likely won't be too big of a deal, as he has shown himself to be capable in enough areas that he's likely to succeed no matter what. by all measurable standards, light's doing pretty good at the start of the series. and yet— there is something so distinctly and inherently Bland about his life before he gets the DN. i've said before that light wouldn't call the DN a curse even if he wanted to, but i think in that moment when he's telling ryuk he disagrees w/ his father after visiting him in the hospital, when he says, "I've never once considered finding that notebook and gaining this power a misfortune. In fact, it's made me happier than I've ever been." (ch.22) he's still getting at something real and truthful.
again, going back to my equating of boredom with depression in this series— light's life is pretty good by all measurable standards. he has a family who loves him, presumably more than enough money to get by with a pretty cushy lifestyle, and does well, honestly better than well, in every single system he is presented with. but even so, he's still unhappy. there is something in his soul that has not yet been satisfied. he's bored of the world, bored of his place in it, how easy it all is. what the DN really offers him is a challenge, entertainment— just the same as L, and just the same as ryuk.
near similarly suffers from this kind of boredom, though it is perhaps less overtly stated than in the case of light, L, and ryuk, and less easy to catch as it is not as realistic/common. again: near basically ends up the winner of wammy's house. he is the one to take the title of L, he's declared the smartest, bestest kid at wammy's, and he gets all the power and privilege that comes with such a title. but still— he's so. fucking. bored. much to the embarrassment of mello, this shit was never really a challenge to him. it's pretty obvious that near isn't really even all that attached to the title of L— don't forget that his first real introduction to the story involves him explicitly saying that he'd be just fine working with mello as essentially co-L successors. and this is a viewpoint that he holds onto until the very end of the series, actually, claiming that he was only able to best light due to mello's sacrifice. near doesn't really give a fuck about the rat race he's been slotted into, though it's perhaps for that exact reason that he ends up winning it anyway, and getting all the responsibility that comes along.
that being said, i think there are still two main differences between light and near:
light fucks up.
near never gets past his boredom.
in the case of this first point, i do not mean to say that near never ever makes any move/judgement that could be considered a mistake— mello killing the entire SPK is the first thing that comes to mind, which i see as blood on near's hands for the same reason that L takes at least some responsibility for lind l. tailor. rather, i mean that near never makes a such a monumental fuck-up that he has to overturn his entire worldview just to account for it in the same way that light does when he accidentally kills two people w/ the DN the first time.
it's like, if you've ever known (or been) the kind of kid who always got perfect grades in school, straights A's for K-12, only to reach college and suddenly bomb their first test and have an existential crisis as their only real achievement in life is crushed into dust, then you know light yagami. only for light, it's on a whole 'nother scale, because not only does he fucking oopsie daisy kill two people, but he kills in such a context that he can mentally manipulate it back into seeming heroic. i hate to say that suffering causes character development because that's terrible advice (it's how you react to terrible circumstances that matters, imho) but to some degree, yeah, having conflicts/hard times in life is just necessary to figure shit out sometimes. near (and L, oh goddd i need to write about L properly sometime) has so many things smoothed over and handed to him, and on top of that, he's a super genius very rarely fucks anything up, at least according to base logic. he doesn't even really consider the morality of anything he's doing until light straight up asks him in a desperate bid to keep talking at the end, it's all just logic and factors to consider.
this all leads to my second point, which is that near never really gets the chance to overcome his boredom in the same way as the others. ryuk at least gets his entertainment for a couple years, and light and L (and mello) get so invested in each other and their game that it literally kills them, but near just kinda. keeps going. he keeps being L, he keeps solving cases, he does the duty he was given and enjoys his toys... and that's it. he lies around, the only one left to live, never even taking credit for the end of KIRA, never gets another haircut, and keeps the title going. what a life, for a kid who dragged a god back down to earth.
sidenote1: toys
am i reading too into things? maybe. near's toys hold a lot of significance throughout the story in more specific ways, most notably the finger puppets he uses at the very end of the story while tracking different people's/kira's actions, though you could probably read some kind of meaning into every toy he has and the ways in which he plays with them. what i want to look at here though is more the general reasoning behind playing with them in the first place— a desire for a childhood he didn't get to have? a love of games more generally? (could track with him seeing the KIRA case, or really all detective work, as just another game.) you could also read into his toys as another source for near's apathy/detachment from reality, literally breaking every notable person around him down into a doll by the end of the story, speaking a lot to how alienated he is from the world (again, very similar to both L and light, there). i don't have much more of a point to make here, just wanted to add this in somewhere since it's one of his most striking visual character traits.
sidenote2: light's arc
going back to my point at the start of this post... light's character arc.
uhh. near winning is a good thing, actually. and i don't just mean that as a moral claim— DN itself as a story isn't really concerned with trying to answer any moral questions about good or evil or the justice system, so it makes sense & is fair to me that it doesn't try all that hard to answer anything along those lines by the very end of the story. what i mean to say here is that near winning is a good thing on the level of the character arc, specifically as an end to light's arc.
i made a post a while back while mid-manga reread talking through some of the reasons why L's death can feel kind of unsatisfying/paint the second half of the story in a less interesting light (hah) for a lot of viewers, with the main point i ended up on being that L wasn't really able to win because he never really had all that clear of a win state in the first place. i still kiiind of agree with this point, though i think there's a lot more i could add to that post... anyways. point is, i bring up that post because it touches on a similar thing to what i want to talk about here: light's character arc being a tragedy.
this is more speculation on my part, but i think another part of the reason why people get turned off to DN post-L death is not just the fact that L isn't really a playable character in the game anymore, but the fact that light's character arc takes such a dramatic twist after the timeskip. i talked about this a little bit in my little ramble on light & titles (which a lot of you liked, apparently!! ty for all the lovely comments on there, i love reading what you guys have to say ^w^), but light's character arc in DN is a tragedy to me, full-stop.
tragedies to me are cyclical— revolutionary, if you will. since all stories necessitate some kind of something to take place, a tragedy to me is all about a character beginning in one point, then continually getting hit by Event, after Thing, after Event, only to end up in essentially the exact same place that they started. any character changes or development that seem to happen throughout the story are ultimately nullified by the end— the main subject does not truly grow, does not truly reflect on their actions or traumas, does not move on. two steps forward is two steps back. even ending up in a position worse than they started is sometimes better than a true tragedy, in my mind, as at least then there is some chance they may still reflect or change or grow in the future, leaving the hope that they may still overcome this new circumstance later on. a true tragedy ends in nothing meaningful ever getting the chance to truly change, at least in the case of the main subject of the story.
light's character arc in the first half of the story is an upward, underdog kind of story. yes, light has the power of a shinigami, of a supernatural force that the rest of the world doesn't even know exists— but part of the real appeal of his conflict with L is how powerful L feels in comparison, having the wealth and respect and title to command a world's worth of forces against him. fuck, even taking down naomi misora feels like an incredible hurdle overcome, a teenager managing to charm and yap and flutter his eyelashes out of a shitty situation he was only just lucky enough to stumble across in the first place, to stop someone who could've ruined his entire plan with a few words. killing L was always going to be light's greatest accomplishment when it comes to his rise to godhood, not only because of L's great power but the comparative position of light at the time that he did so— not yet an adult, not even really out of school, perhaps barely out of his parents' house.
in contrast, light's arc for the second half of the story is a downward spiral. we see all of the consequences light has been miraculously avoiding smack into him like meteors in this half, his ever-growing ego torn to shreds as he's yanked back down to earth. and in comparison to the anime, the manga really beats this point into you, dedicating the entire second half of the story to light's fall from grace as he loses his mind and loses his humanity. like, while i do kind of prefer the manga ending to the anime, i have to admit that light's death there is fucking brutal. light goes through pages, chapters, purely dedicated to near tearing him a new asshole, only end the story bloody and delirious and crawling on his knees begging a god of death to fix everything— all just to die the exact same death as everyone else he's killed. i mean, look at these fucking pages (ch.107):
(that last fucking picture of him. clawing at the sky. it always fucking gets to me.)
it hurts to read this shit!! we spend the entire first half of the story watching this dude's rise to glory, the entire time stuck inside of his head, emotionally connecting with him even if we don't really mean to or disagree with his actions or question his morality. watching his fall back down, especially after all of that, is fucking painful— an in no way does near make the process any easier. if anything, his blunt, snarky bitchery, saying all the quiet parts out loud, calling light out for being a terrible replacement L and pointing and laughing at his failures to his face, only shoves more salt in the wound, only proves just how human he has been all this time, how meaningless any of his supposed "rise to power" ever really was. light got his fifteen seconds of fame, sure— but near is armed and ready to make sure that's all he'd ever get, that the name Light Yagami would never even be associated with the position he held for so long. six years was all he got— and it was all he was ever going to get, because light yagami did not do this for humanity, he did it for himself. all near did was collect the debt that L prescribed. he fulfilled his duty as told— nothing more, and nothing less.
i just have to wonder... is this why people hate him? because he has no sympathy for the fall? maybe. i don't know.
either way, i don't think i could ever really hate him. it's a big responsibility, being the only one left behind. but near has always been the one to hold such weights on his shoulders.
#death note#astronaut rambles#back at it again w/ the literal shower thoughts everyone#trying to get out as much DN writing as i can before classes start and take over everything aksdjflks#i think near is definitely in my top 3 DN characters oops i love him#btw i haven't seen a lot of the extra manga n stuff (?) related to wammy's so this is mostly just based off of the main manga#certified YAPPER applestorms here sorry L i like to win too#it's my homestuck roots i can't help it#also couldn't fit this in but... i like near's main color being white#it really fits the emptiness/void/apathy thing but in a different way#like it's not MU. it's not two fully black pages. but there's not a lot there either#not much room to be a person when you're built to be a computer ig#sighhh. these boys and their humanity#prospectively classpecting near as an heir of void. btw.#also sympathy for the fall would make a fuckin great band name#man i love writing these things. spinning my boys in my head#the DN fandom has been great on here lately love reading everyone's posts & seeing all the art hehehe <3#super long post#long post
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I feel like we as a Fandom need a term for how often the Batkids die/are presumed dead in order to promote growth in Bruce as a character. And not their own.
The fact that I can think of MULTIPLE EXAMPLES OF THIS HAPPENING is kind of stressing me out
#bruce wayne#character death#presumed character death#Jason's death by Joker#Spyral#Tim with the clench#Tim getting blown to bits by dronez#though that did further a plot point with the whole Evil Super#Damian's death#Steph's death#I think the only death I can think of off the top of my head that furthered their own storyline was Cass' when she was killed by Shiva?#but again#so behind on literally everything#batkids#batfamily
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talk to me about diluc and sun imagery ^_^
awea where do i START
ok so most importantly first of all. diluc and crepus both have sun-related names, with crepus meaning "twilight" [e.g. dusk] and diluc meaning "morning" or "dawn" [hence his title, "the dark side of dawn"]. this means a Lot of things to me lol but i won't expound here lol
diluc's motif is the owl, but it's also the phoenix (see elemental burst and namecard), the mythical bird that rises from its own ashes at dawn. more rising sun imagery, especially relating to what he "became" when he devoted himself to vengeance in snezhnaya. he was reborn as something angrier, something even more fiery and dangerous, out of the wreckage of his past.
light is often used in the context of uncovering truth and executing justice like the phrase "bringing something to light." this pursuit of the truth has been diluc's sworn, self-imposed mission ever since his father's mysterious death. [see the like. 40 voicelines of diluc's about truth, sin, and justice]
with diluc and kaeya especially as teenagers there is an implicit sun/moon undertone i think. diluc, the sun, who "always had a warm smile and a confident posture" and kaeya, the moon, who "For years [...] had stayed out of the way in his brother's shadow."
many cultures regard the sun as the undisputed ruler of the sky, the king of the cosmos. much like many regard diluc as the "uncrowned king of Mondstadt," despite having no actual title to that effect.
of course there's the obvious comparisons between a hot-headed fire wielder and a big ball of fire in the sky but we won't get into that lol it's enough to say that they're both hot
#this might not be everything lol#but it's everything off the top of my head#i'll add to it as need be#i just. he and the sun yk.#thank you for giving me an excuse to ramble about this awea ily#diluc#diluc ragnvindr#genshin impact#dilucposting#ragbros#asks? in my inbox?
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Tbh a huge amount of the issues MHA has could have been fixed had Bakugo just been expelled from UA in the first season or not gotten in at all
#izuku's other friends like ochako tenya etc could have gotten more screentime and development#the todoroki arc wouldve had more space to flesh out all the siblings and give shouto a more obvious personality#the precedent of excusing abuse wouldnt be there so i think ppl would be less sympathetic to endeavour which is GROSS#aizawa and the rest of the ua staff look better as teachers as theyre not just letting a pr nightmare and bully run around unchecked#the 'bakusquad' can be given more space to be their own characters and bond wo being rotted by their attachment to bakugo#shinsou could have actual development instead of being one dimensional and annoying and grow into his potential as izuku's rival/foil#less bakugo screentime also means more time for the plot to develop#and im hoping the characters could develop their abilitie sin unique and more consistent ways wo the constant need to make bakugo the best-#screwing everything up#including izuku keeping his analysis abilities etc#thats just off the top of my head#izuku midoriya#bakugo katsuki#anti bakugo katsuki#anti bakugo#mha#my hero academia#mha critical#my hero academia critical
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so there's a reason my new job got back to me so quickly about my application and that's bc it's an absolute fucking shambles like actually perfect timing for me to decide to rewatch the bear bc i have never more felt like ive been thrown into a broke on-its-knees establishment trying to crawl its way up the ladder where i am somehow a godsend to them. my old job was crazy and shambolic in the sense that the industry is just Like That but this one?????? insanity. every 5 mins i am questioning what im doing with my life. ive already had a walk-in fridge moment
#so i explained before that there's 3 venues and on my very first shift they had me doing the restaurant venue for 2 hours#which was FINE like i was a bit cautious bc my manager is VERY stressed all the time and the place generally feels like it's falling apart#not the building itself just. the way it's run like it's just got new owners and the previous manager apparently#EMPTIED THE TILLS AND TRASHED THE PLACE like cost them THOUSANDS of pounds and on top of that#there was beef with the head chef and the new owners that meant he left and took the ENTIRE BACK OF HOUSE WITH HIM#THERE ARE NO KITCHEN STAFF ATM. I HAVE TO LIE AND TELL CUSTOMERS WE DONT HAVE FOOD ATM BC OF 'REFURBISHMENT'#WHEN IN ACTUALITY THE /RESTAURANT/ DOESNT HAVE CHEFS. DO YOU KNOW HOW CRAZY THAT IS#and then the front of house staff are very lacking aside maybe 2 people we're ALL NEW and all of them EXCEPT ME#LIKE LITERALLY JUST ME IM THE ONLY EXCEPTION. ALL OF THEM ARE UNTRAINED#so when i applied with bar training coffee training and very solid waitressing skills they genuinely treated me like a saviour#like i am FENDING off shifts tbh im in a v good position bc they need me too much to get shitty w me if i refuse hours but i can literally#have as many as i want bc they will just give me them. like they're obsessed w me im rota'd for over 60 hours this week#but anyway that very first shift after 2 hours in the restaurant i then walked to the mini golf venue on the OTHER SIDE OF TOWN#and my manager stayed for 30 MINUTES. IF THAT. and showed me around the place + how to close THEN LEFT ME THERE#FIRST DAY HE GAVE ME THE KEYS AND LEFT ME TO RUN AN ENTIRE VENUE. IT'S NOT SMALL EITHER IT'S A WHOLE BAR#AND I HAD TO CLOSE ON MY OWN TOO and ironically the shift itself went rlly well like it was so chill#it was kinda boring but honestly i kinda rated it it's v easy money and the close went perfectly nothing cropped up that i was unsure about#and then. AND THEN. i havent even ranted to my mutuals about this yet bc i was acc so horrified by it but i locked the front doors#and went to lock the gate AND THE KEY GOT STUCK IN THE LOCK. WOULD NOT COME OUT. HELLA VS KEYS ROUND 3927593#my mum even showed up and tried to help me wrestle this thing out i called my manager and he literally told me to just snap it#bc he'd rather a snapped key that NO ONE could get out than just leave it there overnight but bc of my recent house key moment#i was like AM I FUCK SNAPPING THIS KEY. WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING. so i had to just leave it and at the time#i was realllyyyyyyyyyy beating myself up but my manager is actually rlly nice he's just stretched v thin#and ive also had time to be like uhh actually they shouldnt have left a random 21 y/o girl alone with the keys on her first day#omg i havent even talked about what happened on saturday. ACTUAL SHAMBLES#LIKE THIS /\/\ ISNT EVEN CLOSE TO EVERYTHING! IM RUNNING OUT OF TAG ROOM! IM GONNA REBLOG THIS TONIGHT W MORE PROBABLY!#BC GUESS WHO IS WORKING A CLOSE LATER AT THE NIGHTCLUB THEN OPENING THE RESTAURANT AT 8AM. GUESS#hella slaves to capitalism
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they are so fucking silly it might be terminal
#made me giggle a little bit. i'm not gonna lie. was a little delighted.#i like when they let them be properly funny!! they're cracking jokes all the time!!#eddie is such a BITCH to people. top ten eddie brock characteristics honestly.#venom makes quips as they battle cause they don't take fuck all seriously but also to bully people a little bit#venom is invested in making sure that they win. but venom is also invested with Messing With People while they have the upper hand#like yeah we COULD just bite that guy's head off. but wouldn't it be more fun if we camouflaged ourself to jump out nd scare him first#all that to say that eddie brock is a little freak. but i'm so glad he's having a good time with everything#2018 eddie brock is so bitchy in my heart and i think that's the way he's meant to be.#disillusioned but not in the way that he stops cracking jokes just that he starts being mean about it#anyway. top ten eddie brock characteristics. muscular. intelligent. bitchy. good journalist. Petrified Of Being Alone. blonde#venomposting#venom#venom: nights of vengeance
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its not like id ever find myself in this situation but man itd suck if i was world champion and injured myself wrestling in a match with a convoluted setup that many people hated. which was right after having to do weird shenanigans to keep the tag team titles. which was right after an ill-advised victim-of-a-hatecrime angle. which was right after my tag team partner got injured hopping off a ramp. which was right after the guy who was setting up an encore feud with me got extremely fired from my company. which was right after that same guy got suspended for months on the night of my surprise return to set up an encore feud with him. don't know how id be feeling in that situation but it certainly wouldnt be good
#is this the right order for everything im just kinda going off the top of my head#i think i'd be somewhere in the ballpark of ''miserable'' to ''really miserable''#talkzon#disclaimer: i recognize 4 out of the 7 things here are self-inflicted decisions so i am projecting a normal amount of empathy for#the misfortunes this tv celeb has been subjected to
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"omg no ones gonna want you you have a personality disorder and no one wants that mimimi"
im flirting with a super hot trans girl in my dms while on call with my boyfriend whos so devoted to me we have frequent talks about the best course of action to get me on track to a stable life for my own benefit + the bonus of visiting him semi-frequently
When you put in the work to get better, shocker, people notice and find it admirable. You're doing fine babe I promise someone sees the work you do and adores you. If you don't think so, it'll be me. I will adore you for the work you put in. You are lovable with your disorders, not bc of them or despite them, but with them.
You are lovable with them.
#starspeak#cluster a#cluster b#cluster c#bpd#npd#hpd#aspd#ppd#schizoaffective#im sorry i dont know the others off the top of my head#but if youre seeing this and have a personality disorder of any kind this is for you#you will be loved with your disorder#you will be loved with someone knowing its presence and feeling its harshness and they will reach through it to hold your hand#it will not go away it will not stop everything#but it will be a closeness every human being loved and deserves#you will be loved with your bullshit#because if i#as a genuinely total wreck of a human#can find someone who loves me with all my bullshit#so can you#i believe in you#get better for yourself and those who deserve to love you will follow
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i need to do a better job protecting my hair @ night (cuz im tired of having to do a bun every time i wake up cuz it looks so shitty) but i swear i TRY i just wake up w my bonnet flung across the room every morning
#i usually wake up completely naked i must be waking up and flinging everything off#funny mental image but bro 😭😭 fucking stop#i think ill really try. tonight. like ill tie that shit down#its especially hard w shorter hair because i cant tie it all up in one go it wont reach the top of my head
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I love writing how tos and lists. For decades I’ve posted various guides, breakdowns, and long lists about things all over the internet.
Now in 2024 as I write out another bullet pointed list I wonder if sometimes people think I write like Chat GPT.
Then I remember that Open AI data scraped Reddit and other platforms to make Chat GPT.
And I look at my Reddit Comment Karma score, and I wonder if Chat GPT talks like me.
#chat gpt#that Reddit score doesn’t even cover everything I just got tired of making accounts for each topic I wanted to infodump on#I’ve never used Chat GPT but I’ve been informed that my lists did make it in to its database and for a super niche subject it spat out#a mangled form of my opinion#which was very bizarre to witness tbh#especially because it was from like 2009 and I remembered where I was when I was writing my hyperfixated organized word vomit#anyways this is inspired by my most recent grout post where I was very intentionally Overly Colloquial because I didn’t want to sound like#a chat gpt faker#I genuinely know things about grout off the top of my head#this is ARTISINAL bullet points HANDCRAFTED by a soulful human who just had to douse everything in bleach
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literally figured sorcerer!kristen's freshman year design out the moment I sat down and attempted to brainstorm (rubs hands together fly style) we eatin good today boys
#not art#riz is my specialest boy whom I love dearly everything I do I do it for him but kristen is like instant kinship to me#adhd haver to adhd haver communication. adhd haver to adhd haver comprehension#and ohhh I'll have a Lot of fun with her design esp. freshman year bc shes diametrically opposite to how she looks in canon#which is to say: slightly maximalist#off the top of my head I'm already thinking pippi longstocking influence so mens size 40 shoes and mismatched socks#and matilda a little bit (at least on first day she's trying so hard to figure out business casual) so dress or blouse#and of course she's kristen so cargo shorts#if this sounds deranged to you: yeag#I think the only thing holding me up rn with her is her arcane focus#I am thinking. very hard. I dont think she'd keep the shepherd staff given its connection to the heliolic faith#but I do think it has to be 1/decently big 2/of an eye catching color 3/attached to her pretty much 24/7#Ive been thru this rodeo before babeyy if its not chained to u it will be Gone in the blink of an eye#. wait. I think I have an idea. it will be fun to harken a Little bit back to ally's other sorcerer character#it would also be like a vibe flashbang. I think we got it. stay tuned
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trying to figure out wtf is going on genderwise is so frustrating i feel like this
then there's how it Ties into sexuality like guys i may just throw myself into the ocean with cement on my feet i cannot deal with thi s
#monolith mumbles#LET ME OYT GET OUT OF MY SKINNN N#loosing it in the corner do not mind me#LIKE. bashing my head off a wall fr#and i have like. 1 person irl i can tell rlly which. not great#IM . everything feels wrong can i crawl into a hole and rot instead#then theres like ppl seeing me as a girl anyway on top of everything like nuh UH#guys what if i start eating rocks and dirt and radioactive plants
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Okay hear me out hear me out hear me out
Sonic who's litho and Tails who's demi
(Sort of headcanons/thoughts/au musing under the cut)
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Tails coming to terms with his desires regarding his best friend, wishing to hold and to be held, to kiss and to be kiss, to take care of and to be taken care of, to share as many domestic moments as one can, to take a shared adventure for the fun of it, to be intimate in a way only lovers could be, right?
And that's where the subtle horror lies in the slow realization of feelings.
To want to be like someone and to admire them is one thing. To want to be someone's friend is one thing. To want to stick with one person you like is one thing.
But to love and desire someone in that way is another.
Tails has kept watch over Sonic's relationships. He's known him long enough to spot trends in how Sonic acts. The rules, so to speak
Sonic always makes the first move. When others express interest in him (depending on the nature of the interest or how obsessive) he preens at the praise at best, treating this person like a fan, and runs away or his expression betrays his uncomfortableness/disgust at worse. This means Sonic has to be interested in you first.
Whether he even realizes the attraction himself or not, Sonic tends to start a bit strong, but this is because of his usual target (people who are able to match or challenge him in a fight). Even if the other person seems uninterested, he has no problem flirting and teasing a bit during altercations
Sonic's romantic relationships never last longer than a year at best
As one can see, the rules are a bit stacked against him to start (at least, from Tails' pov). He's Sonic's best friend and, while they do fight sometimes, that kind of role is hardly comparable to a rival or an archenemy. Sonic gets a specific look in his eyes when engaged in an interesting battle, banter rolls off his tongue like honey. He never gets like this towards Tails. There's no situation (whether during a shared battle or in his lab or when they're just hanging out together) where Sonic looks at him with that level of interest (at least, from Tails' pov).
Of course, Tails wouldn't want to be Sonic's rival anyways (best friend is the kind of role younger him had always coveted), but it doesn't mean he can't be a little jealous...
And of course Tails knows Sonic cares about him, appreciates him. That's never really been in question either.
It's just, in the end, even if his wildest dreams came true—if he confessed his feelings, Sonic reciprocated, they started dating and it didn't ruin their best frienship—how would it then pan out? In the end, whether Sonic would return his feelings is the least of his worries!
Because Tails has seen what happens.
One of Sonic’s rivals, for example. Before they got together, Sonic enjoyed teasing and flirting with them casually. And at the beginning of their relationship, they would race each other often (perhaps more often than they had before). It was their favorite form of date—to have a "friendly" competition, followed up by sunsets and dinner on the go. Really, they almost couldn't get enough of it. But then...things shifted. Sonic didn't enjoy racing them quite as much anymore. That passionate interest began to palpably fade, and the two began to disagree. Eventually, Sonic’s presence was more of a casual one. Tails could see that he enjoyed going out to eat with his ex and hanging out with them in general, but while that was all fine and good, his ex hadn't lost that passion. So with every poke and prodding and proposition for a race, Tails could see his ex become resentful in that Sonic didn't want to be this way with them as much as they used to. Eventually every "I don't feel like it" from Sonic turned into a fight ("when do you ever feel like it?" his ex would follow up with). In the end, Sonic’s ex is still fixated on him. While they wouldn't admit it, they want Sonic’s attention back. Even without being romantic partners, they still cling to rivalhood, challenging Sonic and showing off whenever they can. But Sonic... He doesn't take it so well. Someone who was once a rival and partner to him is now an annoyance—just another person too obsessed with him. They're still fixated on Sonic, but Tails knows Sonic would be happy if they gave it up. That relationship can never be the same again.
Sonic even had a childhood friend once—his very first relationship like that. Not that they're not friends anymore, but things are different now. There was a time where Sonic traded banter with this person often, those who knew them would remark how they fought like a married couple, and they saw the looks they'd shoot each other when the other wasn't looking. It only seemed natural to onlookers that these two would get together, and yet...it took some time. Sonic would be jealous when others pursued that person, and yet, for a while, whenever they pursued him or it seemed the perfect moment to confess, he'd run. For a long while when anyone (even Tails) would ask why he wasn't dating anyone, he would just answer that he didn't want to be tied down. But he eventually gave in, decided he had no choice but to confess his feelings, and (as everyone knew would happen) these feelings were reciprocated. In fact, a number of people even though the two had been dating for years before that. But...things didn't stay all sunshine and rainbows for long. The relationship ended with a (literal) slap in the face for his best friend. The two's interests and futures had grown apart, and even love couldn't change Sonic's nature. In the end of it, he still wanted to be a free spirit, a magnet for danger, a hero to the masses. Just like with that rival of his, though the relationship was seemingly passionate at first, Sonic couldn't sustain those feelings. Sonic's partner wanted someone for life, wanted him to choose their projected future, wanted to keep him out of such great danger. The fact that Sonic seemed to be losing those kind of feelings and interest he'd had when their relationship began was perhaps one of the final straws. And although Sonic and this ex partner are still friends these days, have mended their friendship, their relationship has never been the same again. Even Tails can see that they're friends, but they no longer share that banter, Sonic no longer concerns himself over that person's love life (he's more supportive than anything), and they don't spend quite so much time around each other anymore.
So this is what it comes down to. Even if Sonic does love him back in that way, even if Sonic wants to be with him too, even if he agrees to enter that kind of relationship with him, what use is there in hoping he (Tails) would be an exception to the rules?
What if things are amazing at first, and then over time Sonic begins to lose interest in him? What if those feelings disappear? What if getting together with Sonic ruins their best friendship because all interest has faded away?
What if Tails confesses only to end up as an ex who is a casual friend at best or an annoyance at worst (because Tails knows getting over Sonic would be near impossible)? Then it would be all his (Tails') fault, wouldn't it?
And that's exactly why he figures it's best to leave things as is. As long as he can stay best friends with him, as long as he can still be by Sonic's side through thick and thin, as long as they can still care for each other and be for each other as they are now, that's enough isn't it? In the end, Tails would choose a future where he's still at Sonic's side over having his feelings requited.
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As for Sonic, it does, admittedly, take a while for him to sort of realize those feelings of his. This is partially due to him being dense, but also because he's grown so used to Tails' presence. He's just used to the fact that Tails is always around, always able to be contacted, that the days are largely similar. It just never really occurred to him for a while that Tails could (or would) leave him for any reason.
But after enough times being separated from him completely, then dealing with enough minor jealousy as Tails expresses possible interest in others, it sort of just hits him one day while the two are hanging out (probably playing video games and eating chili dogs or something, or perhaps even while watching a sunset) that he wants to do this forever. He wants to continue this life where he can pull Tails along on adventures and crash at his place and relax with him and bust badniks with him and everything.
Long ago, back when he'd first met Tails, there was this bit of nagging fear in him. Even as he eventually would come to regard Tails as his best friend, for the longest time there was this nagging fear that Tails' admiration and wish to stick to his side would become...something else, and that Sonic would have to confront it one day, potentially risking their relationship.
It's almost weird now thinking that he truly wouldn't oppose the idea of Tails confessing to him (if Tails does indeed feel the same, but Sonic doesn't know for sure). Perhaps it wouldn't be bad (even if cheesy) to live out a fantasy of the first kiss, where Tails confesses and Sonic tenderly steals it...
But pretty soon a new kind of horror sets in—a new "what if".
Because, you see, though he can still count the number of exes on his fingers, Sonic has never had a relationship like that last more than a year. Things always start out great! All Sonic wants to do is be around this person as much as he can be, and that person shares the sentiment. But then as Sonic finally settles in, tension eventually follows. That person becomes increasingly more frustrated in him, and Sonic himself comes to realize that he no longer wants to spend every waking moment with them. He's busy, he has things he wants to do (sometimes alone), other people he wants to hang out with. He doesn't mean to leave this person in the dust, he's just not quite as interested in them as he used to be. And apparently that's a problem
Sonic has never cheated, not once. Maybe he can be a bit of an ass sometimes, but messing around with other people while he has a partner is not his thing. But...this doesn't matter either. Eventually the accusations come—that he doesn’t love them anymore (not true), that he isn't as interested in them anymore (something he can't really refute once he starts to think about it), that he's probably looking at other people (not true).
So inevitably, Sonic can no longer take the tension and facilitates the breakup, or this person breaks up with him (an event that's never better than bittersweet)
In short, that obsession that attraction that attachment—it all begins to fade eventually, no matter how close he is with that person. He often doesn't want to just break up with them (again, just because those feeling start to fade doesn't mean he doesn't love them or cares about them less), but it's an inevitability. People logically want to be with someone who loves them just as much as they do in the same way that they do, and Sonic just...can't seem to live up to that.
If he and Tails started a romantic and/or sexual relationship, could he even place hope in the fact that Tails would be the exception? He knows in his soul that even if these feelings of his began to change or his interest in this way began to fade, he'd never just stop loving or caring about Tails altogether. Best friend or partner in romance, Sonic knows he'd still want him at his side.
But with his track record, who could guarantee that Tails wouldn't grow resentful of him too as things began to change (compared to the very start of that kind of relationship)? And would he really be able to blame Tails? After all, most people want someone who will be just as interested in them as they are in the same way that they are. If Sonic can't always promise that, then isn't it doomed from the start as it always is?
Not that he's never had thoughts such as these before, but in his last relationships (since those people seemed to be cut from similar cloths as him personality wise) he'd been willing to take the risk in hope things would be different. But he doesn't want to lose Tails—can't. What would be the point of solidifying a relationship like that with Tails if he lost his best friend in the process? At that point, it would be all his (Sonic's) fault, since he knew this would probably happen.
So this is why Sonic decides it's best to leave things as they are. As long as he can still crash at Tails' place, come to him for strategical or technological advice, take him along on adventures, bust badniks with him, play video games with him, be his best friend and have him by his side, isn't that better? Isn't that enough? In the end, Sonic would rather take the future as it comes (deal with the possibility of Tails leaving him one day) and get to have him by his side now than have his feelings requited.
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But I'd like to imagine that, one day, the two can't ignore the whatever it is going on between them. The moment is scary, and admitting those feelings doesn't bring as much relief to either of them as it should. They're both apprehensive about starting that kind of relationship for their own reasons. Should they really "get together" simply because the feelings are mutual?
And so starts this weird gray period of the nature of their relationship. They're still best friends for sure, but neither has decided they want to be in a declared state of "dating". If anything, at first it seems like the two have gone right back to trying to exist like normal (business as usual), hang out like they always do, treat each other like they always did before. The only difference in this case is that the feelings are requited now.
But things begin to shift and change during this gray period no matter how hard they try. The two end up sharing their first kisses, every interaction carries a bit of a different weight than before. If it's even possible, more than before people mistake them for a couple, especially their friends (who can't really understand why they're not, even if they try to be supportive for the most part).
And yet, while feelings, their actions, etc seem to make everything undeniable (as if they're dating all but officially in name), Sonic can feel it come on. He can see the signs, recognize that those once undeniable feelings of attraction (romantic or otherwise) is beginning to fade away, meaning that it's only a matter of time.
Meaning that the last thing they should do is "get together" now, because Sonic can't promise Tails those feelings that were so strong before.
And Tails realizes it too. It actually scares him a bit at first, already seeing the signs. He can't help but fear that it's inevitable—that Sonic will lose all interest in him and grow apart from him. It makes him feel like an idiot. Even if back then there was no way to keep those feelings between them wrapped up and hidden, he feels like an idiot for confessing at all—like he should have found some other path. This whole thing, it makes him want to cling to Sonic even more, though he fears making this all worse by being too clingy...
But, fear aside, things do turn out okay.
I'd like to think that one day they wake up in Tails bed together, Sonic brushes Tails' bangs aside, gazing at the fox's expression before he opens his eyes, and feels that though his feelings have undeniably changed, it's just that. Though those kinds of feelings began to fade away, his love did not. More than ever, even though he doesn't love Tails in the same way he did a while ago, or even before he came to feel for him romantically, he cares for him so so deeply. He still wants Tails to be with him going forward.
And yes Tails sees it—the way Sonic has grown more casual, doesn't seek out kisses as much, isn't quite as clingy as he used to be—but his fear begins to let up as well. While he will perhaps keep that nagging fear of Sonic leaving him forever, even Tails comes to see that Sonic has no intention of breaking their friendship. Where Tails once was afraid they'd naturally grow apart and bitter as Sonic's feelings faded and Tails would be clingy by comparison, he sees that Sonic's feelings haven't really faded—not truly. They've only just changed.
Things are undeniably different from before, but Sonic seems to want to be with him still. He still wants him by his side as much as he can have him. Though he's more casual in his expression of feelings, Sonic is still interested in what Tails has to say, he still enjoys making him happy. In fact, somehow, Tails almost suspects Sonic has begun to love him more than before despite the shift in their relationship and in Sonic's feelings.
They were both so afraid things would naturally end in failure, but they cared for each other, and they accepted each other as they were.
Maybe the two decide to officially become partners one day ("partners" in a way that elevates their existing partnership to a status which coveys that they want to live out their lives at each other side, no other types of feelings or actions or life choices inherently implied), perhaps because Sonic (despite not having those large feelings of romance anymore) still doesn't want Tails to choose anyone else but him
And maybe the two don't! Even if they don't label themselves as dating or in any type of partnership society and others recognize as "inherently stronger" than best friendship, they're still best friends and partners. They're still going to spend their lives together, happily doing the things they always do as long as the universe allows it. No matter who comes and goes into their lives, their bond is a constant presence.
In the end, it no longer matters whether Tails has romantic/sexual feelings and Sonic doesn’t, or whether they give themselves conventional labels or not, or whether other people can grasp their chosen relationship or not, or whether it's a "glorified best friendship", or anything else. All that matters is that despite the nature of any feelings involved, they choose to be together.
#sonic the hedgehog#sontails#unbreakable bond#tails the fox#miles tails prower#i just be ramblin#I kinda played a bit fast and loose with what canon it is here#tbh I was running off of an idea that kind of mixes game canon and idw canon and some archie canon#but largely with the example of Sonic's exes#in this case I went with Sonic/Jet (as I like to headcanon the two as being exes in idw just based on how the two act and Jet's picture of#himself with sonic torn out of the picture) and with Sonic/Sally#but yeah this is an interpretation of Sonic and Tails' feelings towards each other that is a bit dear to me#partially because I genuinely love to interpret a potential relationship between them as sort of a complicated one or qqp where Tails does#have romantic feelings and Sonic's aren't romantic but not wholly platonic either and with them being best friends on top of that#anddddd partially because I'm projecting my relationship with romance/sex onto sonic a bit#can't help it#Anyways by god I love them they make me insane the thoughts do not cease they mean everything *head in hands* Sonic and Tails#qqp#queerplatonic sontails
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