#ofc its ed
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Spawned this rare, edgy specimen from an outfit @fma-03lric showed me on an idol 🤷🏽♂️
#ofc its ed#who else would it be??#fma#fullmetal alchemist#edward elric#suave in blue#da ba dee#da ba die#my art#freckles#fma art#outfit prompt?#it just sort of happened?#but i thank you for the inspiration it brought upon me
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new gemini update was so good as always but I can't stop thinking:
big mama: there's nothing wrong with my sons
splinter: you fucked up two perfectly good kids is what you did. look at blue. he's got an eating disorder
wwhhhattttt? nooo, don't be silly. leo doesn't have an eating disorder.
leo and donnie have eating disorders--
#this is a Joke but also No It's Not#it's just different flavors lmao#but both of them have absolutely fucked relationships with food#my poor babies... :(... who did this to you...?#(it was me i did)#leo spends a lot of time worrying about whAT hes eating and how mUCH hes eating and if hes eating the rIGHT thing#largely due to his mom and also just being a celebrity/child celebrity in general#but also in part due to:#donnie has a lot of food sensitivities which have really never been accommodated for at all and as a result he just#has a very negative association with food and eating. he doesnt LIKE eating and he avoids it a majority of the time.#its stressful and unpleasant and he doesnt like it#which ofc only gave leo another reason to hyperfixate on food and calories and nutritional value etc etc etc#which leads to#ironically#leo (who def has an undiagnosed ed and restricts/denies himself food regularly): worrying abt making sure donnie eats enough#donnie will do the same thing back sometimes but not with the same obsessiveness that leo does#esp because the ideals surrounding eating and dieting set up around them really kind of just#lead them both to believe (at least to an extent) that leo is fine and eats a totally healthy and ok amount of food (esp in comparison to d#(no he doesnt)(and even when he does thats not the point)#tw eating disorders#cw eating disorders#eating disorders#tw disorders eating#cw disordered eating#disordered eating#gemini au asks#asks#anon
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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when you get a new tablet and decide to draw preggers Ed
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Started working on a comic for this university au thing ive been writting about, it hasnt really come out the way I wanted it to but I still kinda like how it looks so I decided to post, I guess it's sort of a teaser for when i actually start posting the real thing. Happy to talk abt the AU if anyones interested 🤓
#ofc i had to do a college au#its more like an explanation for why Ed is the way he is in the movie#he doesnt actually start totally unhinged in this story#also it only rlly focuses on him and no other characters#sorry to disappoint#my art#art#riddler#batman forever#edward nygma
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#17.2 Auri
Shibisu was beat. His match with Agni must have been the lamest out of everyone. He couldn't land a single blow on him no matter how hard he tried. All the while knowing that Agni was going easy on him. Still, Agni offered him an outstretched hand and pulled him up to his wobbly feet.
"You did your best," Agni smiled encouragingly. It was an odd look on him, since he looked a lot like Khun, and Khun wouldn't have smiled like that. At least never at him. "But there is still a lot to work on with those blind spots."
Shibisu knew. But he wasn't built for agility, especially with his low shinsu tolerance. Each time they ascended another floor, it took him some time to get used to moving quickly again.
"I have something for you." Agni pulled him out of his thoughts. He opened his palm. "Give me your hand."
Shibisu complied and mirrored Agni's example. In return, Agni placed something in his palm.
"What is this?"
"It's special fish food. Hold it like this and just relax, ok?" Agni instructed as he repositioned Shibisu's arm so it was fully outstretched, palm flat.
Before Shibisu could ask, Agni had called one of his hidden lighthouses. He whistled and a fish swam out from it. It was about an arm’s length and very fast. Its color was also quite muted; he would have missed it had he not been paying attention.
"This is Auri." Agni introduced as the fish swam around him and preened under his touch. "She's a domesticated electric eel, capable of stunning D-ranks and killing E-ranks. Her species is loyal and territorial, but they can be very timid otherwise. I want you to take care of her one day."
"What?!" Shibisu whisper-shouted through gritted teeth, afraid that he would startle the fish. "Didn't you just say that she's dangerous?"
"She can protect you." Agni pried his fist open and led him to stretch his arm out again. "Just give her this and she'll know that you're a friend."
Shibisu held his breath when the fish swam close, trying his best to not flinch or take another step back when it opened its jaw, displaying rows of needle sharp teeth that could definitely shred his flesh. Yet his fear never happened, and the fish was surprisingly docile when it nibbled on the pellet.
Despite his initial fear, he could see its appeal. It was affectionate and gentle. Granted, he always had a soft spot for cute things, even if they might be dangerous. Case in point: his team.
Shibisu tried to move his arm a little, since he was no longer as tense, but the sudden move startled the fish, and it suddenly vanished into thin air. Shibisu looked around and found nothing.
Noticing his confusion, Agni explained, "As I said, her species is very timid. They have the ability to conceal themselves with shinsu, so they can be hard to detect without observers."
The fish reappeared behind Agni, swimming near his shoulders, "Ah, there you are." Agni flicked his fingers and pointed to the lighthouse; the fish obediently swam back inside. "I will bring her again the next time we meet, so she can get used to this team."
Shibisu could only nod, knowing that refusal wasn't an option.
Agni walked away and clapped his hands to get the whole team's attention, "That's a wrap for today. A shame no one won my bet, but I hope you learnt something from this."
Endorsi clicked her tongue, "Show off."
Agni ignored her entirely, but his stance was never unguarded, ready to leap in case of sudden attack. Was every Khun raised like that?
"Hm, one more thing…" Agni walked up to Rak. "Crocodile, come with me for a moment."
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#oh look! my first (published) ToG OC and its a fish#i mean. what's A.A without fish amirite#there's actually more to come! saving their introduction on future updates ofc#jokingly said that Auri has body count when this got beta-ed and let's go with that#next part will be another snippet but the update after that will get real spicy and im so looking forward to that#tower of god#tog#two sides of the same coin fic#my fic#my art#khun#koon#khun a.a#khun aguero agnis#shibisu#ship leesoo#rak wraithraiser#rak#endorsi jahard#endorsi jahad#endorsi
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watching ofmd s2 my god ed looks good i started barking at the screen ... UGHHHHH .. !!!!
#and ofc i have to fucking pirate it bc no one is saying when it will be released in the uk#this website is okay i mean its amazign its up already but it buffers every few seconds#think ill watch the 3 episodes with all the lag then scroll through tumblr to see if anyones got a better site or a google drive or smth#anyway#our flag means death#our flag means death s2#our flag means death season 2#ofmd#ofmd s2#alex talks#ed teach#blackbeard
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Does anybody else feel like mental health awareness has done very little to help them in material reality
#i was gonna say done nothing to help but that seemed too harsh#like there definitely is more knowledge about it now. maybe more people feel comfortable speaking about it which is good#but personally i don't feel that. like idk. workplaces will post about mental health awareness and then do nothing to help employees#the same w universities. my uni cut back the already meager mental health support#and then the government is doing absolutely fuck all as well#like idk im just back in a place i thought id gotten out of long ago and i still don't feel comfortable talking about it with people#maybe that's a me problem or maybe it's cultural or something idk. but in the 10 years ive been depressed (🫠) i don't think it's gotten a#whole lot better. teenagers are still dealing with the same shit i did and they're still not being taken seriously#women's mental health is not even spoken about.....anxiety depression sh eds etc are still ignored or seen as hysterical behaviour in women#or just normal esp with disordered eating. society hasn't changed people still want women to be stick thin and weak#like i know 10 years is a short time and there has been massive improvements in mh awareness if we look back over the past 50+ years#but idk i just think that it hasn't gotten better for a lot of people#i think specifically of belfast and like god. the amount of trauma there is the amount of homelessness the amount of substance abuse#drug abuse in particular that has gotten visibly worse over the past decade or so*#and i connect the dots n see the 2008 recession + a tory gov defunding the nhs + dehumanisation of homeless people & addicts + the troubles#+ ptsd + generational trauma + a negative peace + classism + paramilitary drug dealers + parties linked to those paramilitaries#and its like hmmmm i think we live in a society. and a mental health approach based on individual actions like journaling and meditation#isn't the way to go. or at least is not the be all and end all which is what a lot of mental health awareness raising seems to promote#*visibly worse on the streets. it was always a problem ofc but even a decade ago my parents never imagined it would be as bad as it is now#and it's become so normalised. i do think there's less individualism here than there seems to be elsewhere which can be good and can be bad#but i think we are becoming more and more individualistic. slowly. there's still a sense of community here but i do think it's changing#and callousness towards homeless people is one of the most obvious examples of this.#love when i put a wee asterisk in the tags of a post. like i have A Lot To Say lol
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you two...affectionate but only when the highs of winning or alcohol are involved...i see...
#stop me if youve heard this one before so two earth signs walk into a room...#utterly fascinating i say as if theyre both not uttter catnip to each other#luosty does just ragdoll into mikksys sturdy hold yeah#luosty is either being an annoying brat to mikksy or being cuddly there is no in between im afraid#its so funny because in the clip i ss-ed the parade bus hug from he stole mikksys beer 😭😭😭#like he was in the middle of drinking it and he just tries to nab it off him like a brat 😭😭😭#and mikksy ducks away from his grabby hands for a second just to get an extra sip in before he gives it up to luosty#and ya wanna know what luosty does??? HE JUST WANTED IT TO POUR IT ON THE PEOPLE AT THE BARRICADE#LIKE WE DIDNT EVEN DRINK IT HE JUST WANTED IT TO POUR IT ON THE CROWD HES SOOOOO#AND YES HE DOES STEAL ANOTHER TIN OFF HIM 😭😭😭😭#like one of the people on the bus was passing a beer to mikksy and they like put their arm under his raised one so its at his chest#to give it to him but luosty sees it who's standing behind. and he just reaches his arm over mikksys shoulder to grab it#LIKE YOU DRUNK SKUNK DIDNT YOU HAVE ENOUGH 😭😭😭😭#STOP BEING BRATTYYYYYYY#STOP STEALING OFF OF MIKKSY. AND YOU MIKKSY. STOP LETTING HIM.#these two certainly have a dynamic#luostys inherent nature to brat out. but he requires the cuddles too. mikksy will provide without much hassle ofc.
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I really don't understand the conservative gotcha of "what if this causes my child to ask difficult questions????"
Um, then you answer the questions.
What is wrong with you.
If your kid is asking difficult/awkward questions isn't that a good thing? Your kid is still discovering the world and wants to learn things and trusts you to be a safe source of information.
And yeah, sometimes that information might be inappropriate, but that gives you the opportunity to answer the question in a way that IS appropriate -- ie. Not the answers they would get if they went to google or their friends on the playground.
Like, you wanna go on about how being a parent is so hard and childless people will never understand? Then grow up and fucking do the hard work of answering an awkward question. JFC.
Conservatives make awful parents.
#this is inspired by a sign at a store that implied santa wasnt real in a cheeky way and moms freaking out on facebook#because how DARE that store shelve that in a place children could see it. they are single handedly RUINING Christmas.#(since yknow a kid old enough read is NEVER going to run into these ideas anywhere outside of a fucking dollarama)#yes its may and im still thinking about how stupid this was#you probably thought this was about gay people or gender or sex ed didnt you#like it applies to those topics ofc but nope it was just a cheeky Christmas decoration
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eegggghhhhhhhhhhhhh
#apparently those alex hirsch interviews came out#i'm not watching them because if i do i will go insane (negative)#so ofc my perspective here is flawed but#i saw a couple posts of some of alex's quotes from the interviews and#ohhhhh boy i am not having a good time right now !!!#yay more stuff about how ford is icarus#yayy more stuff about how ford is trapped too far in his head to have any meaningful relationships#yayyy more stuff about how ford ''result[ed] in Stan being this hurt and needy and mad''#sooo glad to hear how meaningful it is when people say something resonated with them and they feel a connection to it#ohh but btw the character *you* resonate with his Too Far Gone for his own good and ruins the lives of everyone he comes into contact with!#that's right! the character who made *you* feel *seen* in a way you never had before!!!#ah... such a nice and impactful thing to hear 😌#i feel so touched by these words 🥰#can't wait to hear this in so much more emotional and provoking detail when the book of bill is released#(for the record the previous 9 tags are sarcasm.)#k ive said enough#good night#svm yells#svm yells about the fandom#<- or rather its creator#but i already know the fandom is going to eat this up if not already#fandom wank#filthy ford apologist squad
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seeing people literally ill when fasting 24 meanwhile i hit 40h and dont even feel it, for some reason it just makes me feel fatter
if i was sicker it would mean that im skinny
the fact that i can take it just means my body is big enough that im not even starving
#ofc this isnt scientifically backed#its just my sick brain#tw ed ana#tw ana rant#ed but not ed sheeran#ed blr#light as a feather#thinspiraton#tw ana bløg#anadiet#⭐️rving#⭐️ve#not pro for anyone but myself#not pro just using the tags#proana#tw edtwt#tw an0rexia#tw disordered thoughts#tw 3d vent#tw skipping meals#3d but not sheeren#3d blog#3d diary#34t1ng d1s0rd3r#3ating d1sorder
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for y’all who aren’t familiar w fma: ed joined the military when he was like. 12 btw
#child who is built fucking different#attempted human transmutation. it rebounded ofc and he paid the toll with his leg. alphonse paid it with his whole body#ed just. bandages his leg and then goes back through the portal for al’s soul. gives up his arm for it#mustang comes through to recruit him. so he undergoes surgery for automail#instead of taking the full recovery period of three years he fucking does it in ONE#AND THEN FUCKIN. PASSES HIS STATE ALCHEMIST EXAM AT 13.L2. AFTER THREATENING THE PRESIDENT BTW#refuses to stay down refused to give up#mustang hollering at him gave him the fuckin motivation he needed to try to get their bodies back#doesn’t give a fuck about the military doesn’t give a fuck about serving his country or whatever. just wants to see his brother again#and will do almost anything to make that happen#kid who is so so scared but refuses to give that fear a voice. and just keeps moving no matter what#edward elric you are#insane JFKJWCKKWG#SHIT LIKE THIS WOULDVE BROKEN A LOT OF ADULTS#AND THIS 11 YEAR OLD GOES //PUT ME THROUGH PAINFUL SURGERY AND REHABILITATION FOR TWO LIMBS AT THE SAME TIME//#//GIVE ME ONE YEAR TO RECOVER ITS ALL I NEED//#AND THEN JOINS THE MILITARY. LIKE I#i love my son#anyways#oh also burnt his fucking childhood house down so he wouldn’t have a reason to turn back and give up#no true home to go back to so they can only move forward. fuck me
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saw some old stuff i wrote about 3h and man. i really used to love that game huh
#fandom killed it and spat on its corpse#genuinely that was the worst fandom i've ever been in the middle of. nobody was immune from the consnat fucking discourse#the moral judgements the racism the misogyny the homophobia the ableism the raw INSANITY#i've never seen a fandom so obsessed with ''morally ok to like these characters/morally evil to like these ones''#and ofc everyone had their own list that they would then frantically alter to please each other and it was just insane#still is but i refuse to interact with it anymore#but yeah i can't even stand to look at claude anymore i used to love him but now. eugh#i just associate him (and almost every other character) with the Discourse and the ''if you like hilda kys'' types#don't even get me started on bernadetta and the number of so called friends who treated me like shit for being hurt by her portrayal lol#or the number of again so called friends who would bully people for not liking ede/leth#just. horrendous. horrendous fandom#i pretty much only care about flayn now#not that she didn't get her fair share of disk horse but like. it was never the quantities that almost every other character did lmao#other than the people talking about how she was a disgusting nepo baby they wanted to stomp to death or w/e. there was a lot of that#txt
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"not pro-ana just using the tags" "pro-ana only for myself" Ok but you see how you're still hurting people right. you see how you're perpetuating this mindset for other people by posting about it right.
#i went through the proana tag a few weeks back when i was in a very vulnerable state#and ofc i am not trying to imply its their fault for my mental state; i am responsible for my own actions; i chose to go through the tag#BUT.#even then#the amount of times i saw the sentiment “im not pro-ana im just using it to get more notes on the picture of me being really skinny”#or a vent post with the tags “proana but just for myself” really irritated me#i know what its like to be in that position. I do. i understand that you feel like whst youre doing to yourself is right and that you want-#to find like-minded people because you feel so alone#i understand wanting to talk to people that you feel like “get it” and not people that will try to help you recover because-#you feel like youre making “progress” and that deep down you feel ashamed#But if youre 'proana just for yourself“ or ”just using thr tags“? dont fucking use the tag#if you know that its wrong (shich it sounds like you do based on the clarification that youre not ACTUALLY pro-ana-#in some attempt to win the moral olympics) then dont post under the tag because its going to make things worse for people who ARE#and i KNOW. ive had the same thought before. “but i dont think you should have an ED bc its bad for u; im just doing it for a little bit”#or “just for me & i can stop whenever” and we all know how that ends#but if you ARENT proana then dont use the tags to send proana sentiments to other people who are obviously struggling#youre making it worse for people. stop it#beverly says stuff#tw ed discussion#tw ana#tw eating issues
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Day 17:
Damn i mean- i dont think so /j /s
#GUYS ITS A JOKE OFC#ed but not ed sheeran#tw ed but not sheeran#4nor3xia#@nor3xia#4norexla#anorexla#an0rec1a#@nor3×14#3dtumblr#34t1ng d1s0rd3r#3ating d1sorder#3d not sheeran#3dblrr
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