#of this shit and also like sleepy tired
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Ok you know what makes me angry? Why is Allura so mature and humble? She's a daddy's girl only child princess who was set to inherit a flourishing kingdom. Sure, she's well educated and probably elegant and graceful and tactful because that's how she was raised to act for diplomatic reasons but she was also probably spoiled throughout her adolescence. She probably got whatever she wanted whenever she wanted because her family had the resources to give it to her. Who's to say she isn't a spoiled brat who can otherwise act kind and approachable? Even if she isn't a brat, she was still handed her life on a silver platter. She has to learn how to operate and be self sufficient.
When she gets out of that pod, she should be scared. She should be angry. And she deserves to be so. Her father that she relied on for just about everything shoved her into a sleeping pod and suddenly she's awoken by someone who isn't him. Logically, that means he lost. She should be kicking and screaming. She should be having the worst panic attack ever. She should be mourning everyone and everything she's ever known. She should be mourning the status quo that will never again be maintained. She should be mourning the future that can never come to fruition.
She has to figure out life without any system or technology that she's ever relied on. Coran doesn't know how to fix and maintain everything. She's like one of those people that wake up from 10+ year comas and don't understand modern technology. She is my dad who has had the same flip phone since forever and now must figure out how to use a phone with a touch screen.
Every luxury she had as a princess is gone. The castle chef who knew exactly how she liked her food. Her mother's ladies in waiting who told her the castle gossip. Her own ladies in waiting who'd sneak out to festivals and other trivial things with her. The cleaners that arranged her room exactly as she liked it. HER MOM. I don't care if she was a daddy's girl, she still has got to miss her mom.
I feel like she should've had more outbursts. Seeing Keith in the red paladin armor should've made her cry. In fact, all of them should have. The new paladins in their armor is a symbol of a new era- an era without the people she loves. She deserves to scream at the top of her lungs and lock herself in her room and trash something. She should be yelling that life isn't fair. She should be angry. She should be so angry.
I don't care if she's trying to hold it together for the paladins in the show. She's holding together too well. She needs more moments of instability. She needs to grieve. She needs to be tired. She needs to be imperfect.
#I feel like if she had more clear flaws people wouldn't criticize her for her moments where she falters#I mean#there will always be people who criticize the teenage girl for acting like a teenage girl#but if she was more clearly affected by the terrible things around her I think people would understand her more#I made this post because I was randomly reminded of how my mom thought that Allura was supposed to end up with Shiro because they were both#like the parents of the castle and got angry because she shouldn't have been a parental figure at all#maybe an older sister to Pidge but she is nowhere near a parent#I'm sorry if this is incoherent#I'm tired#of this shit and also like sleepy tired#I've probably already posted a rant like this before but i don't care#Even if I say it a thousand times I will mean it every time#vld#voltron legendary disappointment#voltron#allura voltron#princess allura#allura#princess Allura vld#allura vld#vld allura
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local girl cannot determine if her perpetual sleepiness is caused by her gazillion meds or hypersomnia (symptom) or both
#either way i can’t do shit because i’m too tired and sleepy#but like. i also don’t want to be awake lol#sleep /is/ the next best escape no matter how temporary it is#zee.chats
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Pregnancy weekend plans is like
*wake up* -> *eat* -> *mildly exercise* ->*go back to sleep* -> *wake up* -> *eat* -> *mildly exercise* -> *go back to sleep*
#it never ends#not that I had any grand weekend plans pre pregnancy#it also involved a lot of sleeping#but good LORD#HOW TIRED CAN ONE PERSON BE#and when I’m not working I’m sleeping#still mildly get shit done tho#my husband makes me feel better about it 😅#‘you are growing a baby full-time’#that always makes me feel a little better 🥰#it’s like#I am awake for small periods at a time#whatever tasks I have I must knock out before the next sleep befalls me😂😂#it ain’t much but it’s honest work#anyway#lil rambles#lil is pregnant#baby lil#lil is sleepy#it’s a lil thing
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managed to flop myself out of bed finally, snacked on some painkillers so I could stand without feeling like my spine is snapping in two. managed to get some chicken coconut soup cooking. Hot soup ought to heal me. I keep trying to scribble something beside playing civ to pass time, but there's so much fog in my brain and snot inside my face, eugh.
#shut up yoi#also why is it that when i'm poorly and could use all the random naps possible - im not getting any.#usually i'm too good at getting the sleepies randomly and just KO multiple times a day#now i just feel like shit but not tired enough to snooze lol
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#my mom has been complaining over me ‘walking around dirty and wearing tshirt to the office’#then i tell her like. hey i don’t care about my looks 99.9% of the time because i have depression that im suppressing by a shit ton of meds#that make me sleepy and tired 24/7’#and she’s like ‘well you adapted pretty well to your situation and i’m proud of you BUT-‘#like yeah stop right here.#im adapting the way it works for me. if it means drinking energy drinks every day ruining my liver then so be it#if it means dry shampoo and deodorant instead of a shower then so be it#if it means vacuuming once in 3 weeks then so be it i don’t even care for real#also ‘you cant wear tshirts to the office’ i literally do it every day and no one cares least of all i#also at this point i have 4 dresses i cant pick out of 😔#i know now why everyone’s so happy at weddings: because it means all the prep is over#arnold’s laments
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HELLO I AM FEL
:D
#new bc came!!#registry man was SO TIRED he fucked up so much lmfao#tried to get new drivers id and he wrote my old middle name and then had to charge me twice for it#which whatever it was 20$#but then also interuppted me while i was doing a form after reminding me to sign which i hadnt yet cause#i was texting my dad for info for the form#and i remembered when he went to walk away and he was like oh shit u saved me that would have been bad#just all around SLEEPY DUDE#i think he was supposed to be off work and was happy i was just picking up mail#but then i was like SUPRISE TWO NEW IDS AND AN APPLICATION FOR 3 MORE
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okay first of all was anyone going to tell me that ac/dc is an australian band. and second of all was anyone else going to tell me that they're apparently colloquially referred to as "acca dacca" in australia
#i knew about some general australian slang like maccas and utes and blueys but it never occurred to me that ac/dc would have one too#mostly because i just assumed they were english like so many classic rock bands i know.#ALSO APPARENTLY THE WIGGLES ARE AUSTRALIAN TOO I SAW ON THE NEW DEFUNCTLAND TODAY#i never watched the show as a kid i just vaguely was aware of some of their more popular songs#its so so fucked up to me genuinely how much accents tend to just Disappear when you sing. like where'd they go lol#anyway i was gonna say#i need to go back and do my music autism analysis shit for the rock songs i grew up hearing#i was telling latimer a lot of classic rock music feels like. like its Default Music to me somehow#like oh yeah jukebox hero we all know jukebox hero of course. whats that latimer? oh. youve never even heard of Any foreigner song. huh#so i need to like. go through all the music from my childhood. im in my childhood trauma reclaiming era anyway like i might as well#i want classic rock to go from being my 'childhood music' into my 'scavengerverse (oc) music'#like how styx and disney songs are my 'neopets ocs music' from when i was 12and AJR is my 'webcomic dev music'#god i want to be so autistic about music right now but im so sleepy tired. fuck my stupid baka life
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Birdies :]

#sorry the picture is a bit shit. they dont like me being close to them w/o treats / if its not bed time#if i dont have them out for 3 hours a day minimum then they throw many tantrums#also bedtime isnt strictly when its like 7pm. just whenever they start getting tired (usually after 4 hours of being out)#they start like hunkering down around the 5 hour mark#so i gots to put them away around 5 hrs so they dont fall asleep outside their cages#if they do fall asleep then they get scared as shit when i try to wake them#they live in seperate cages cuz they get super pissed at eachother at night#and one of them has a bad foot so he cant just hopp to another spot in the cage real fast#so yeah! seperate cages for sleepy times but they hang out a ton otherwise#i love me bords :]#i think this is the second time ive talked abt them but they are my little adorable demons#randy rambles
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my (first!!) pc is built 😭 this was a task and a half and also very very scary lmao. I was SO worried I was gonna break shit and even now that its built and very much so up and running and ok im like... worried its about to break lmao (like its unfounded! but im still like. oh god its going to brick itself at any second). I'm yet to properly test it out with bg3, but it is running my silly cozy little mmos wonderfully. I also now feel like I need to sleep forever after getting this done lmao.
bonus:

as you can see I am exclusively using top of the line Pro Gamer peripherals, such as this keeb from 1998. this keyboard is older than me.
#im fucking. sleepy tired man what a day#my monitor is old also. but tbh theyre both pretty good quality its just like. their aesthetic is lacking which#id rather use old free shit that works well yanno? than pay for aesthetic junk idk#thats the same reason theres no lights in my case like. idk i dont care enough to spend money on that#but im. happy. and nervous. about this. if it breaks or if it turns out that i fucked something up... i will have a cat 5 menty b#i can tell u that much#hell today building it i was like. trying so hard to not have a panic attack sjshshdh#but yeah im happy af to have this like... done. ready to rock n roll#my post
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still thinking abt this pani puri we had three days ago
#ugh…it was so good#SO GOOD#hi i’m so exhausted#if you ever say yes to multiple engagements a day/multiple events over the course of a weekend#just know that’s the devil speaking for you. btw#i’m jk i have been having a lot of fun but i’m so tired i can hardly keep my eyes open while typing this#unrelated but i also had my dentist remove my permanent retainers#!!!!!!!!!!#like. two weeks ago. and my teeth have been breathing again and it’s been so nice#but i’m wearing my retainer in bed now#and idk i keep thinking i have something in my mouth im going to choke on? 😭 idk#also it hurts. i forgot how much these hurt. ahhhh#anyway i’m sleepy and if you follow me and i haven’t texted u back im sorry. im so overwhelmed lol#also the dress i bought for our walima#it’s so cute but it’s too big 🫠#the top is literally falling off me and you cant even tighten the straps. UGH#so i might return it and try buying in a smaller size but i also found another dress i like better#so i ordered that too#and i ordered multiple pairs of shoes#i am ordering so much fucking shit i’m too indecisive to be having my own wedding#i also got a cute bolero but i couldn’t find the exact style i was looking for so i kind of gave up#but i think it’ll look cute heh#ugh idk anyway. i’m sleepy#i’m looking at this size chart now and i think i literally somehow ordered a dress that is 4 sizes too big like. idk what i was smoking but
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I have been woefully unmotivated and unfocused lately so please excuse the lack of consistent sims content on here. I know getting seasonal depression symptoms in the summer sounds kinda crazy... but that's what we're working with.
Just know I really am doing my best to work through this weird burnout!!! Best I can do tonight though is give you guys a picture that I saw on Twitter with a silly caption.

#no but really this time of year where the days feel very long makes my brain feel whacky for some reason#like I just feel like I have all the time to get stuff done but also no time at all#and I wake up sleepy. Idk why it doesn't matter how much sleep I get I've just been soooo tired#some nights I will just sit and watch my husband play a game and be like 'oh shit it has been 3 hours'#no concept of passing time lmao#thanks for being here anyways ❤#also I love Pooh Bear. Pooh Bear supremacy#personal
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i swear to god whoever designed the human body. [holding a fucking hammer, shaking with rage.] i just wanna talk man. c'mon. just a discussion.
#long story short. tmi warning ahead.#i started my period yesterday. which is agony of in itself. and my PMDD has been kicking my ass.#so last night i realize i didnt eat bc i was feeling like shit until 11:30 pm pretty much#i ate. and now my STOMACH is acidic as hell. bc i ate past 10. always does it to me.#but im also cramping. and im too acidic to lay down. and im so sleepy and tired.#i slept maybe an hour and then woke up bc it was so bad it was making me nausated. AND my cramps were so violent.#anyways this is my cry for fucking help!!! get me out of this body!!!#ly talks
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im dj tired times and if you want parties to be snoozing have some sleep
#ohh im so tired finals r almost over#did you know in brickhouse for a period of time,at the end of calls when someone was sleeping as every1 was dcing & leaving#we would chuck em in the sleeping voice channel with a music bot playing this like sleep asmr video#i think it was like fucking captain sleepy time and his 12 hours of pirate ship noises on the ocean with rain or some shit like that#once we tucked my friend dt in there and also looped the fucking um ..... better call saul did you know that you have rights advertisement#eff
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I’m a bit behind on asks rn shcool is just a lot rn and I didn’t have time on the weekend to catch up so it might take a bit longer then usal! Im Not ingoring anyone I just don’t wanna burn myself out!!! I will get to them by the end of the week.
#mommyclan#ooc#I mean like#by Sundayish#100% just wanna make sure people know im not annoyed by them I just have to get some shcool shit in by the end of the grading period or#bad boy grades and that’s kinda draining#I don’t wanna turn this into a shcool vent but you know#I also had to do adult things™️ like paperwork and getting ready to vote for the first time so yea#it’s not like hard but it did take a lot of effort becuz mailing things is dumb#plus I’ve got some longer content coming WAY down the line do I planned that out.#okay ima just rant about shcool#none of this is BAD inherently just time consuming#I am SLEEPY#I had a placement test today too#it was in math and I have a math related learning disability#also I didn’t actually end up sleeping last night.#also also I had to talk to my shcool counselor#which wasn’t BAD it was just a lot of information at once and made me more tired and stressed#about collage#my dumbass was like 10 mintues late to shcool because I fucking missed the BUS#also I found out my gpa is like 2.5 so I’m fucking doomed#this was all today btw#okay at this point this has just turned into me being like:man why am I so tired#and then me being like: oh yeah because today sucked#turns out cause and effect exists#okay sorry I just needed to get that out of my system#on a brighter note I made a new oc#might see a bit of her on my main idk their for an rp
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the way I am so.. so so so down bad for this man..
#once again. havent played x.b3 yet. but holy shit he rots my thoughts nonstop#have i already developed two fankids? perhaps#am i thinking about kissing him 24/7? perhaps#he's just so charming!!#i dont have as much to say as usual aksjaks my bad! been out all day and am kinda tired#and you know when like. you spend too much time with your family and you get a little too existential? yeah#but it's also late and wow i'm sleepy#and uh.. speaking of sleepy... this guy has been known to be a pretty sleepy guy-#if he wants someone to hold and cuddle all night... ahem ahem- hi my name's ash and-#he's so fine i am going bonkers#ash rambles 💚#his hair is so nice aksjaksj i think about playing with it more than i should hehe#hm other than him#i've been really in my emotions about the f.f15 bros as of late 😭 g.ladio my love#and i.gnis p.rompto n.octis my best friends ever! family <3#i'm getting sleepy aksjqjejw i love my f/os so much!#also... hear me out... m.alos von x.enoblade.... older brother material#anyways ur f/os love you and goodnight and all that!#OH ALSO back to my first point. the fankids. these two are twins ✨️ those little troublemakers (affectionate) and m.atthew always#make ash laugh so much aksjaksj#also! since i'm in bed at the moment and my a.qua plush is in my arms!! just saying that i love my wife so much#okay. now goodnight! again!
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Ooughhh Céline Fire Emblem................
#finally. picked up engage again .#you ever just feel like. you're on the verge of being deeply autistic about a character.#I NEED. ALL HER SUPPORTS. BADLY#my problem is that i spend way too much time in the sominel doing fuck all.#she's SO fucking cool though like. i love how she knows she's a bad bitch. she knows she's hot shit.#i love how she's slightly just not normal. she seems like she would be very normal but.#HER SUPPORTS W HORTENSIA ARE SO FUCKING FUNNY..... girl why are you like that!!!!!!!!!!#and i love... her resolve... i'm so sleepy tired i can't think of how to put it.#but i do love when kindness becomes ruthless.#and her feeling like she's lacking strength... even when she's already hardened herself so much.#i also just. love. when women love women that's so epic and cool#comparing how she acts around the girls vs the guys is so funny.#unless if you have divine dragon rights OR saddest most pathetic sopping wet meow meow rights#OR just a little baby boy rights. you're nothing to her and she WILL goof on you about it LMFAOOO#AND THAT'S SO FUN TOO.... i love how serious she is. but she is still so silly. perfect balance#she's deeply emotional she's deeply repressed she's kind AND ruthless she's serious she's goofy.#she HAS the range!!!!!!!#also she is not beating the autism allegations actually.#she is just a little weirdo sometimes and i love that for her
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