#no but really this time of year where the days feel very long makes my brain feel whacky for some reason

[bonbonly]

producer lewis who makes a sex tape with you and sends the tape to jenson. lewis attaches a note that says something like "can't wait to hear your thoughts about this xx" because he's a cocky little shit. after jenson watches the tape, he calls lewis saying he has some thoughts and they should meet up to discuss them. lewis and jenson then surprise you, the star of the tape, with dinner and a show.

hehehehehe finally got on my laptop!

bon's thoughts (18+)

film critic!jenson's at his desk. he's writing a new article about your film that had just come out a few days ago. he's going easy on you for now, you hadn't done anything to anger him nor had you showed up at his office grumbling about something he had written. he chews his pen, glancing from his computer to the window where he sees one of his female colleagues chatting away about what she did for vacation. she was cute, he gives that to her, but he never has the energy to go and ask for her number. not when you were visiting him. not when you would go two steps further to push him to the edge before going down on his cock. he chuckles at the past memories, closing his laptop to head out for a small lunch break when the door swings open. it's the cute colleague and she tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear, handing him a small package.

"it's for you, jenson!" she chirps, setting the box down and sliding it over across his desk, "it's from producer hamilton. said you should check this out!"

jenson raises an eyebrow, nodding his head and thanking her. he opens the box, it's small and could almost pass as a ring box which could be hamilton's attempt as a cruel joke and there jenson sees a flashdrive. ah, flashdrives. jenson's starting to get a good idea of what this could be about and he stands up, closing the blinds to his office. he peers through to see the cute girl heading to the break room and jenson frowns. he tosses the flashdrive into the air a couple times, debating what he should use his lunch time for and ultimately decides that if hamilton was going out of his way to contact him after years, it had to be pretty important. he sits back down at his desk, fingers drumming against the wood and a slip of paper catches his eye. he pulls it out, admiring how firm it felt and read its contents:

any thoughts? i'm sure you'll hate missing out on this - l.h.

his eyes flicker to the flashdrive once more, hands already on its way to open his laptop and plug it in. clicking on the file explorer, he drags the mouse over the flashdrive's name on the side of the screen. there's only one video. the thumbnail makes his eyes wide, a small surprised laugh slipping past his lips. it's you on your knees, tongue out with cum dripping down your face. oh he has to see this.

an actual full sex tape. jenson's not really shocked that you'd eventually have made one, everyone in hollywood knows your reputation. he still can't get behind the fact that you actually agreed to be in one, though. unless hamilton tricked you, but even that was unlikely. you were smart, very smart. you wouldn't ever put yourself in this position unless you knew what would happen. 45 minutes long. jenson can't even explain what's happening in front of him. he feels like he's actually there, watching lewis throw you onto the bed and spit on your cunt. he can see the tattoos on his hand, his fingers massaging your sensitive pearl as you're tied to the bed, bucking your hips and whining, begging to cum.

"such a fucking whore, god," lewis groans, and he sets the camera up on the nightstand. his hands roam over your body, squeezing every piece of fat he can find. his mouth's on your tits, biting on your nipples as you yelp out loud, tears streaming down your face, "if you weren't so talented, i would've kept you as my personal slut, fuck."

jenson can't see lewis's face but he knows the man must be grinning ear to ear as he sees you fighting against the restraints, wanting to touch him. he slots himself between your legs, pulling his throbbing dick from his boxers and stroking himself. he spits on your cunt for the second time, letting his cock slide along your folds. you're whimpering, pleading with him to be fucked.

"and why should I?" lewis mocks, "you've been fucked by almost everybody here, what difference does it make if i don't?"

your voice, despite being muffled, is clear to jenson's ears, "you're the best, lewis, you always stretch me out so good, no one else can."

jenson rolls his eyes, knowing damn well that you had to be lying. he bites his knuckles, palming himself as he continues to watch. lewis laughs, finally sinking his cock inside you and you're already arching your back, crying in joy as he sets a steady pace. his thrusts are slow but deep, each one making your tits bounce so deliciously that jenson wishes it was him, not lewis, fucking you. he pauses the video, shutting his laptop down since he's seen quite enough and smiles to himself, it's a really shitty thing to do but he can't stop himself anymore.

"what a wonderful film," you exclaim, your arm linked with jenson. you glance between the man next to you and lewis, "you never told me how you guys know each other."

lewis smirks, "everyone knows each other here, sweetheart. don't act dumb."

jenson snickers, "i have to say lewis, you made me jealous there. best fuck she's ever had, really? i'm sure i could prove her wrong," and you frown, eyes snapping to lewis about why jenson knows about the tape but before you can ask, the two men are redirecting you down the street to a restaurant for dinner. once inside, you're tapping your foot impatiently, glaring at lewis.

"ok, i'm going to be really nice here and ask-"

"oh, look at the appetizers aren't they delicious?" jenson asks, bringing your hand to his lips as he kisses each finger, shoving the menu to your face to distract you. lewis shifts his chair closer to you, letting his arm wrap around your waist as his hand comes up to grope at your tits. you're biting your lip, squeezing your thighs together as you keep glancing between the two of them.

"what are you both doing?" you whisper, leaning into jenson as his lips travel up to your neck, "papparazi could see, anyone could see!"

"anyone could see the sex tape," lewis points out, his thumb brushing over your pert nipples through the thin fabric of your dress. you hold back a whine, brows furrowing,

"yeah i know, im well aware of that, but i couldn't give a shit about it right now... we should just eat dinner and get out of here, take this back to my hotel room," you scoff, gasping as jenson bites down onto your neck before sucking gently. your eyes gaze up at the ceiling, slowly travelling down when you meet a cold, hard gaze from a set of big brown eyes.

it's carlos sainz, his jaw going taut as he sees what's happening across the restaurant. his hand is just about ready to shatter the glass of wine he's holding up to his lips. he's with some associates, not interested in what they were talking about because his eyes were on you. watching what you're doing... especially with hamilton fondling your tits so openly in public. you gulp, feeling jenson smile against your cheek as he gives you a quick kiss.

"im hungry, what about you?" he asks.

[nonbinoclard]

>>> TUNES TO LOSE YOUR MIND TO <<<

KEEP IN MIND: This is a living playlist! Songs may be added and removed at times to further curate the vibe I'm going for. I'll try to keep this post updated, but you can just check out the link for an up-to-date track list.

(EDIT: Song discussions are not finished! I have a lot more to say. I'll reblog when I've updated.)

This is set in a sort of nebulous time between Harry's life right before Martinaise and the night before he lost his memory. I wanted this playlist to feel erratic-- full of manic energy one second, then slow and bleak the next, dreamy, unreal, then right back to ridiculous.

(In no particular order. Shuffle for full emotional whiplash effect.)

I Don't Like My Mind - Mitski

I don't like my mind, I don't like being left alone in a room [...] And then I get sick and throw up and there's another memory that gets stuck / Inside the walls of my skull waiting for its turn to talk / And it may be a few years, but you can bet it's there, waiting still

The days before cleaning out the rooms... also, eating an entire cake and throwing it all up again feels very harry-esque... Overindulgence

A whole cake, so please don't take / Take this job from me

End Of The World - Hether

I mean, I could just post the entire set of lyrics as evidence, tbh. Struggling to find meaning and purpose in his life in the wake of heartbreak (5 year old heartbreak, but who's counting anyway)

I wake up in the morning and I wonder / Why everything's the same as it was I can't understand / No I can't understand / How life goes on the way it does

Cane Shuga - Glass Animals

Baby, don't go / I'll stop breathing coke / No more bloody nose / No more John Does Burn through my love / Just like your drugs / I've had quite enough / Or lack thereof

This is about the last moments of Harry and Dora's relationship to me. The chorus (a kind of circular, endless, self-aggrandizing internal monologue likely fueled by stimulants, implied in the song) continuing after the second verse kind of reflects the solution for Lonesome Long Way Home.

"11 Voyager Road. You no longer live there. Those times are gone, and so are those people. Why did you come here? Why are you still here? And where’s the dealer? You have to get back to work. That’s all you have now."

Hot Venom - Miniature Tigers

Hot venom is mixing with my blood / I can feel it on my fingers and taste it on her tongue / It feels so good to fall in love with you

I've heard a lot of people say this song is about heroin addiction, which is thematically appropriate for this playlist, but also. Harry's unhealthy obsession with Dora/Dolores Dei. Adoration (and hatred) so strong it's killing him.

Her venom makes me strong / Stronger than I am on my own / Before too long, I'll wake up to it gone / Wondering how I ever was happy [...] You can't go back now; that's not how this works / And as long as she's gone, I can never be happy

Who Is She ? - I Monster

This is just straight up about Harry's recurring dream to me. Just. Gestures at the lyrics.

Oh, who is she? / A misty memory / A haunting face / Is she a lost embrace? Am I in love with just a theme? / Or is Ayesha just a dream?

I feel like it falls in line really well with the idea that Harry's mind has been affected by the Pale-- a lack of memory, or maybe mixed memories, in a misty haze beyond the boundaries of reality. (and maybe Dolores Dei has started haunting him via Pale? Like some theories I've read.)

Somewhere across the sea of time / A love immortal such as mine Will come to me / Eternally

I Don't Miss You at All - FINNEAS

Dummy - Portugal. The Man

F the World - The Northern Boys

You Stupid Bitch - Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (TV Show)

These shards are a metaphor for my soul Won't stop the self-pity 'cause I'm on a roll

This song perfectly captures the inherent melodrama of a mental downward spiral imo. Catastrophic and all-encompassing. This is what I think it sounds like in there (Harry's head).

You ruined everything / You stupid bitch / You ruined everything / You stupid, stupid bitch / You're just a lying little bitch who ruins things / And wants the world to burn / Bitch / You're a stupid bitch / And lose some weight

Oleander - Mother Mother

Intermission - Scissor Sisters

Skit #2 - Kanye West

Self explanatory. He's got no money. He's got no clothes. He has no car and he has no hoes.

We broke, broke broke phi broke We ain't got it Broke, broke, broke phi broke We ain't got it Don't spend no money, ain't got no clothes Ain't got no cars, ain't got no hoes

Nobody - Mitski

My God, I'm so lonely, so I open the window To hear sounds of people, to hear sounds of people

This one is more about the feeling of the song itself rather than the lyrics specifically; I love the upbeat tempo that continues through the song (trying to remain steady, continue working), how the beat is simple at first then builds into a kaleidoscope of sound by the end of the track (overwhelmed by the world), then ending in a distorted loop (trapped in a cycle). This song has always felt really authentic to my own experience with mental spirals. The themes of loneliness tie it all into a nice bow.

I'm A Broken Heart - the bird and the bee

Not Allowed - TV Girl

Party Time - The Northern Boys

Comfortably Numb - Scissor Sisters

(Do The) Act Like You Never Met Me - TV Girl

Novocaine For The Soul - Eels

Basket Case - Green Day

Do you have the time / to listen to me whine About nothing and everything all at once? I am one of those melodramatic fools / Neurotic to the bone, no doubt about it

I just think this one fits him well during Martinaise... just shaken up and unloading trauma onto unsuspecting strangers like a can of soda (bad analogy lol), depending on the dialogue you choose.

I went to a shrink to analyze my dreams She says it's lack of sex that's bringing me down I went to a whore, she said my life's a bore So quit my whining 'cause it's bringing her down

Sometimes, I give myself the creeps / Sometimes, my mind plays tricks on me It all keeps adding up / I think I'm cracking up Am I just paranoid, or am I stoned?

Also it's just a little pathetic, which just... it fits. Sorry Harry.

Labyrinth - Miracle Musical

[eyra]

stuff what I have learnt about writing good

If you've followed me for longer than two minutes then you'll likely know (because I keep going on about it) that I've been working on a novel for the past year. It's always been a dream of mine to write and publish a book and whilst I still have a long way to go before I can even start thinking about querying (whether on this book, or the next, or the next, etc.) I suppose I can now say that a book Exists. I have written A Book.

Now whether or not that book ever sees the light of day, the process of writing it has been truly eye-opening. I went in knowing virtually nothing and came out, still with a huge amount to learn, but with a whole library of tools that I didn't have before. I'm now putting these to use with the first draft of my second book and already the process feels so much more enjoyable, because I've started to figure out how to make it work for me.

I wanted to jot down what I've learnt purely for my own reference so I can keep looking back and reminding myself what worked for me first time around, but given that I get a nice number of asks picking my brain about my own writing process, I thought I might as well share all this with you lot in case there's anyone out there who finds it useful!

So here are the big things that I've learnt so far...

1. Not every trick works for every writer

This has been, by far, my biggest learning. Starting to plan a novel for me felt SO overwhelming - I felt like I was bombarded on all sides with "this is how to write a novel" content, and it felt like there was just too much to learn and like I would never find my way through it. I spent weeks (months...) doing every worksheet, every outlining method, every chart, anything I could get my hands on. Some of them, by the end, proved themselves very useful. A lot of them didn't. There are thousands of voices online that are telling you "this is the right way to write a book" or even "this is the ONLY way to write a book" - don't listen to them. Try things, but don't feel like you have to fit yourself into every single box. Just find the things that work for you.

2. It's possible to overplan

On a related note - sometimes you just need to start writing. I spent WAY TOO LONG faffing about before I put pen to paper with my first book. So, so long planning out characters and plot points, a lot of which I then had to completely reimagine mid-draft because I realised they just didn't work anymore. In hindsight, some of this was down to me being scared to actually start writing - the planning stage was a bit of a comfort zone for me, despite not naturally being a plotter/architect - I have always always always been a pantser/gardener, but I got sucked into the whole "proper authors do it THIS way" narrative.

With my second novel, I did a nice amount of planning but then just bit the bullet and started drafting. I know where my story begins, ends, what my major themes are, I know all my main characters and I know my key plot points. The rest, I'm figuring out as I draft. If nothing else - I'm having a lot more fun this time around.

3. Think about voice and tense before drafting

Yeah duh obvious right? NOT TO ME. If you were following me around April time, you may have witnessed a series of minor breakdowns when I realised that, having written a whole first draft in third person present tense, the entire book should actually have been written in first person past tense. So that meant, basically, starting over from scratch. This was a big learning for me, and not a mistake I'm likely to make again.

4. Stop looking at your word count

For someone who's never really put much thought into word count before - my approach with fanfiction has already been "it'll be as long as it'll be" - I got OBSESSED with the word count of my first couple of drafts. A lot of people will tell you that any good novel "has to be" under 100k words. I constantly see this one post on Pinterest that says "I promise you that you can tell the story you want to tell in 100k words or under." I'm definitely no expert on this (and I'll eat my words when an agent tells me my manuscript needs cutting down), but I'm sceptical - a lot of stories can and should be under 100k words, sure, but most of my favourite books are much longer than this. However, I did get stuck in a "this manuscript has to be between 70k and 100k words" mindset and felt like a failure whenever it was sitting outside of that bracket. Also - keep your genre in mind. If you're writing a rom-com, 70k could work perfectly. If you're writing fantasy, you're probably going to go over that.

5. Know whether you're an overwriter or an underwriter

And related to the above - know whether you tend to write bare bones-style then add to it, or whether you tend to dump it all on the page then cut back later. I'm the first, and I knew this, but I still panicked when my first draft was only around 70k. I felt like it was rushing through the plot at an unreasonable pace and it didn't feel "finished". This was because it was a first draft. By the time I sent my manuscript to my beta reader, it was around 126k.

6. The dumb stuff works

The title of the document for my first draft was "XXX - worst possible version" and at multiple points during the drafting process I changed the font to Comic Sans size 48. It works. Completely takes the pressure off and gives you full permission to write big, write silly, write unhinged, write mad things that you'll cut back by 90% later. But it gets it all on the page. If you're stuck or cringing at yourself in Times New Roman size 12, try Comic Sans size 48.

7. Don't compare your first draft to your favourite book

Like an idiot, I did this. I still find myself doing it. It's possibly my worst writing habit. I'll type out a page at 11pm after a full day at work and no dinner and then I'll pick up a published book and think "ah man, the page I've just written is nowhere NEAR as good as this." Published books are fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh drafts that then go through months and months of editing. Do not compare your manuscript to a published book. Just don't do it.

8. Don't try to be That Author

Good writers are good readers. Absolutely read broadly, read deeply, just read. Fiction, non-fiction, poetry, everything. And it's fine to find yourself influenced by other writers - that's how writing works. But don't try to BE other writers. One of the issues I had to unpick last year was that I was reading a lot of authors whose writing styles are very different to my own. I know my own style fairly well by this point - fanfiction's a great sandbox for figuring that out - but at certain moments during my editing phases I found myself cutting away at my prose because it felt "too different" to the books I was reading at the time. This was a weird thing for me to have done, and I went back and fixed it later.

I think what I'm trying to say with this one is: take inspiration from everywhere, let yourself be influenced by different writing styles, but find your own voice and trust it. Literature already has a Sally Rooney and a Donna Tartt and a Leigh Bardugo. It doesn't need a clone - it needs you!

I'll finish by sharing what I've found to be the most useful plotting template. This obviously isn't the total extent of my planning process by any means, but after trying about a million different plotting techniques for my first manuscript, this is the one:

The 27 chapter method (more examples here)

And finally, two little character tricks that I find invaluable:

AITAH?

Character philosophy

I hope someone out there finds something useful in this post! Although I've been writing in some capacity since I was a teenager, 2024 was definitely the year I realised that I am a writer at my core. I want to be a published author, but I'm already a writer. It brings me happiness like nothing else in the world! And I love to talk about all aspects of writing, so my ask box is always very much open.

Happy scribbling! x

[alllgator-blood]

Disappeared for a bit but I'm still here, I just got overwhelmed and learned I should probably take this blog less seriously

I'm using the new year as an excuse to come back on here and try to not ditch my account for another 6 months-- I'm NOT good at posting stuff online to a crowd of more than like 5-20 followers, I originally wrote a huge long-winded draft describing all of my thoughts in great detail. It was too long. I guess all I want people to know is I'm somebody who's spent years making art that I knew nobody will ever see, so it's incredible and overwhelming to have thousands of eyes on my art all of a sudden? It's both the coolest thing and the scariest thing ever to me simultaneously, I'm by no means a Popular Artist but I went from virtually no interaction for years to suddenly tens of thousands of cumulative notes on my posts so it's huge for me. And I haven't adjusted super well to it, entirely due to my own shitty brain chemistry.

I don't want anyone to feel like I'm ignoring their messages or like I don't appreciate the fact they go out of their way to give me their thoughts/send me ideas, genuinely this is the most support I've *ever* had for my art and it's so so fucking cool. It's led me to create so much more than I thought possible! I used to run ask blogs for a couple very niche video game fandoms, and I prided myself on being able to draw full comics for EVERY ask I got, answer EVERY message and went into this blog assuming I could still do that. Um....safe to say I cannot....I have like 200+ asks and I think I drafted a dozen or more that I answered but felt my art was too low effort. I felt so bad I couldn't put maximum effort into everything, and I've been beating myself up over it to a point where *no* asks are getting answered, and this blog went from a really fun thing I actually woke up early just to check on, to something I wanted to avoid like the plague for the past week out of guilt. DUE TO NOBODY'S FAULT BUT MY OWN, everyone has been so chill when I've had to take breaks so idk why I feel the need to hold myself hostage.

So I'm gonna try and take it easier, give myself a break when my personal life goes horribly, close my ask box periodically if I feel overwhelmed, maybe hop on here like once or twice a day rather than compulsively refreshing every 5 minutes...I hope that makes things better. I realize I should probably just *do* that without announcing it, but I have no self discipline and unless I announce I'm gonna do something, it's not gonna fuckin happen lmao.

Anyway if you read this far, here's the first panel of a sequel comic I made to the christmas one I posted last time I was on here, this one is *very* representative of my mindset the last week and will hopefully not reflect how I feel now that I survived december. I know for a fact there's mentions I haven't gotten to check yet so I'm gonna do that after laying down for a bit, here's to a chill 2025 where my social anxiety doesn't eat me alive

[doudouneverte]

Sunshine through the clouds

a/n: first fic of the year, and we're back with our favourite Polish player...

*not my GIF*

Pairing : Ewa Pajor x Léon!reader

Summary : Ewa is anxious about her game against Austria, but luckily for her, you're not too far away.

Type: fluff

word count : 1049

-----

Strange sensation on her chest, short breath, and heavy heart pumps. Anxiety. Ewa was there awake, a little earlier than usual. She looked trying to find something that could help her to calm down, but nothing.

She tried to ignore it, but it wasn't easy. But what was she even stressed about? Today was supposed to be her birthday. It's always a great day.

Yeah, but not today. She checked her phone, then scanned the room she woke up in.

It was not only her birthday but also a very important game day. Not only for her but for her country. The last game before potentially qualifying for Poland's first Women's Euro.

Of course it motivated her that they won the first round at home against Austria, but she knew that today's game was more important than the previous.

Ewa stood up from her bed, took a deep breath, and went to the bathroom. She stayed long enough to formally wake up her own and try to push her anxiety down.

The first part was easy, but the second was a little harder. Then she did the only thing she could think of. She took the magnetic key of her chamber and her phone before leaving the room.

There she was, visibly too early, in the hotel hallways, alone but with a place in her mind. She headed to the elevator and hit the button to the next level.

Once out of the metal cage, she already knew where to go. She made a straight line, not looking away from her destination and only stopping when she reached it.

The striker searched in her pocket for something before pulling out a second magnet key. She unlocked the door and carefully intruded herself in the room.

The Barcelona player quietly walked to the bedroom and then smiled a little when she finally noticed the shape of someone sleeping on it. The Polish striker didn't wait long before making herself a space on the bed with you.

She was not sleepy right now and didn't really want to wake you up, so she just stayed there stroking gently your hair out of your face while your mouth let out some undescriptive sounds.

Thankfully, her little shenanigans finally woke you up not too long after she started them. You took some time to process what was happening. You looked very surprised, which made your wife laugh.

You grumbled something in your tiredness that you didn't understand yourself, but Ewa didn't question it and just left a kiss on your forehead.

"What's happening? Did I miss the game?" You asked, still confused.

"No, don't worry, kochanie, it's still pretty early." She reassured you. "I just came here because I felt like I needed it." She told you, and your body immediately fully woke up.

"Has anything happened?" You asked, a little worried.

"No. It's just that I feel a little nervous about tonight." Your wife revealed. "I know you will say that I don't need to, but I can't really control it."

You were about to say something when Ewa's phone started ringing.

"That's my mom." She told you just before picking up.

You used this time to go to the bathroom and came back only after you finished to fully wake up and prepare yourself.

The striker was there, lying on the bed more in distress than you had ever seen her.

You got yourself next to her and just stared at her face with an undescriptive expression. She gave you a confused look, but you ignored that and just lay next to her.

You were both looking at the ceiling until something came back to you.

"Do you remember our first dfb-Pokal final?"

Ewa turned her head to look at you a little unsure of where you were going to.

"Yeah."

"You spent the entire night before at my place because I was very stressed. We didn't do anything special that night. You just held my hand and told me that everything will be okay." You held Ewa's hand and looked at her. "You don't have to stress out about this game. It's going to be alright. Everything will be fine; I can feel it."

The Polish striker lost herself for a few seconds in your eyes until she reacted, "No, you can't just use my own word on me like that." She had a little smile on her face and already felt a little lighter.

"Okay, but there was something I really wanted to do that night." You turned your body to your wife, who copied you.

"What?" She asked even if your eyes already told her what she wanted to know.

You slowly approached your face to hers, and she did the same. You both closed your eyes at the same time and enjoyed the moment your lips made contact with each other's.

It wasn't a lot, but for now it was enough for Ewa.

When you pulled back, you could see some relief in her eyes.

"Happy birthday, mi amor. Now get up from my bed and go get ready to kick some ass tonight."

"Can I have another one before?"

The face she was making made you smile, and you happily granted her wishes.

"I'll give you something better if you come back with the win tonight." You whispered in her ear, making goosebumps run all over her skin.

~~~~

The game against Austria was tough, but she made it; they made it. With a last-minute goal from your wife, Poland was finally qualified for the next Euro.

Ewa immediately made her way to the fans and, more precisely, to the family area in the stadium.

She found you there, with tears in your eyes but a big smile on your face. She ran to you and hugged you tightly while you were giving her some pecks on her neck.

"You did it, amor, I'm so proud of you." You cupped her face and let more pecks on her lips. "I'm so proud of you." You repeated.

"I couldn't do it without you. Thank you for being here for me."

You were both crying in each other's arms, celebrating this moment with all of her teammates.

It was absolutely magic, and she could share this moment with you.

[moralesmilesanhour]

looking the part

description: a college AU one-shot wherein Ekko watches you get ready for an end-of-semester celebration with some of Piltover's finest. wc: 572 tags: canon divergent-ish, ekko x black!reader a/n: wanted to try my hand at writing for Arcane characters :) the original rough draft was twice as long as what you see here lol

A calm quiet settled over your small single room.

Ekko watched idly as you attempted to wind your braids around your head in a large, elaborate bun. Still barefoot, you were half-dressed in a smart-looking white blouse (complete with a golden brooch that had moving mechanical wings), and a long black skirt that revealed your brown legs through two high slits.

“You look like Medarda,” he commented from his spot on your bed, chin resting in his palm. He had no plans tonight that did not include a long nap, and was appropriately dressed for the occasion in a white tank top and gray sweats.

The bun seemed to remain stable as you slowly removed your hands. You grinned into the dirty dorm room mirror at your triumph.

“That's the idea.”

“You want to look like a topside politician?”

The bun quickly collapsed when you whipped around to face him. He had that ‘be serious’ look on his face, a dark brow lifted in skepticism.

You crossed your arms.

“Ekko, don't start. It's just an end-of-semester party, and I'd like to look the part. That's all it is!”

Ekko put his free hand up in surrender.

“I'm just saying, I don't see the point in spending your whole night schmoozing when you’dve already got Viktor vouching for you.”

The space beside him sank a bit once you joined him on the mattress, and he sat up to accommodate. You stuck out your lips in a pout.

“Says the guy who scored an internship with Heimerdinger.”

Ekko retorted without missing a beat, “And do you see me copying his drip?”

The image of Ekko dressed head-to-toe in Piltie jewelry and double-breasted vests made you giggle.

“Never in a million years.”

“Exactly.”

“But that's not the same thing!” You pushed him by the shoulder, “I just think her hair's cute.”

He reached over to push a stray braid out of your face, the tips of his calloused fingers brushing your cheek as he did so. You watched him watch you, intently.

His clear brown eyes sparkled where the low desk light hit them, the same way they did the day you first met at one of Heimerdinger’s guest lectures. Ekko had raised his hand—the only one to do so—and asked some out-of-left-field questions about whether Hextech was especially vulnerable to ‘bad actors’ under council jurisdiction and whatnot.

Expecting him to struggle to be heard in that giant lecture hall, the ring of his voice cutting through the air, uninhibited and impolite, sent a shock through your system. It also sent the professor on a very long tangent on the dangers of the Arcane when left in the wrong hands, and you could've sworn you heard a snicker or two coming from Ekko’s direction when he had to be interrupted because class time had all but run out.

You stopped him before class ended, and awkwardly asked him if he had really bleached his hair to be that stark white color. He laughed, and invited you to lunch not long after.

“I could do you one better,” he suggested, snapping you out of your thoughts. He made a circular gesture around his head. “How ‘bout a crown?”

“Hm,” you pretended to think, though you were already moving to settle yourself in between his knees. “Do I get to borrow your earrings? Y’know, complete the look.”

A long sigh.

“Alright, but you better not lose ‘em.”

-

Hi! Thank you for making it this far. Pls feel free to reblog and leave feedback in replies/tags, and check out my pinned post if you're curious about me or other stuff I've written :) Have a nice day/night

[1dcommunityficrecs]

Rec List: New Authors!

Welcome to 2025! And as we say goodbye to 2024, this list is taking a moment to shout out new authors who ventured into 1D fic this year -- welcome aboard. It's truly amazing to me that 15 years since the band was formed, and 9 years since they as a group put out new music or performed together, new people are still joining the fold -- or dipping their toes into writing and posting fic, after hanging out in other spaces for a time. I'm sure plenty of people are joining via the solo music, but it still warms my heart to see this community that has meant so much to me continuing to grow and flourish. New fans are just as valid as old fans, and are absolutely essential for a healthy fandom ecosystem.

So with that said, here are 9 fics from people who started posting for the 1D fandom in 2024. And some of these writers have been incredibly prolific -- two of the fics listed are over 100k, and one of the authors has sixteen 1D fics already! Here's hoping we see more from them in 2025 and beyond -- please join me in giving them a warm welcome to the community!

Notorious by violetlilachyacinth (64021, Mature, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) Warnings: period-typical homophobia, implied/referenced rape/non-con

1946. WWII has just ended, but there's still work to be done. To help bring Nazis to justice, U.S. government agent Harry Styles receives a new assignment: recruit Louis Tomlinson, the American son of a convicted German war criminal, as a spy. Neither knows the full extent of the task they're asked to complete nor the full impact they will have upon each other. The stakes are quite high.

Reccer says: This fic blew me away! It's an adaptation of a film, and I can imagine how much work the author did to make it their own. Harry and Louis' connection leapt off the page. And no spoilers, but I loved the ending.

freaky friday by tracksuitponytail (1700, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) – fic post Warnings: dubious consent due to body swap

It’s Friday the 13th—a day like any other for Louis until he wakes up in the middle of the night... in his best friend's body.

Reccer says: SO well written! I enjoyed it so much, and it really cheered me up on Thanksgiving

Coffee and Confessions by Vyshv (676, General, Zayn Malik/Harry Styles)

A cozy coffee shop in New York City, with the warm aroma of roasted beans and the soft hum of chatter, two lost friends find each other.

Reccer says: This fic so so soft and lovely! I love the feelings it evoked

Hazelnut by BlackRose_Lilly28 (100, Not Rated, None)

Another drabble based on a twitter prompt. This time: "Hazelnut."

Reccer says: Fun to read, and very sweet!

here for the thrill by worldsofdreamers (3357, Explicit, Niall Horan/Zayn Malik)

niall wore a cowboy hat and he was just saving a horse

Reccer says: we needed a fic of niall in his lil cowboy hat and this fic DELIVERS. always love fics from this author. they’re very good writer and they are a good go to if you’re in need of a ziall fic.

All in the Golden Afternoon by leighllbealright (126028, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) – fic post

When Louis Tomlinson needed to find a new preschool for his daughter, he wasn't expecting the one across the street to be everything he and Goldie ever needed. Or: the one where Louis is closed off, Harry is the weirdest person ever, and Gemma may as well be a psychic. Somehow, calico-cat-style, they forge a beautiful family from pieces that don't quite fit.

Reccer says: This series is one of my top 10 from 2024. Brilliant characters, gorgeous writing, Harry’s sweaty elbow-pits, everyone is a flower, naked treehouses and more.

Whole Lot of History by Blue_Green28 (73592, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) – fic post

With 3 children coming out of their twelve years long marriage Harry and Louis are essential parts of each other's lives even though they have moved on with new partners since their divorce ten years ago. Or have they?

Reccer says: Exes to Lovers, Miscommunication, mpreg

everything of mine is yours by blueskiesrry (33000, Explicit, Harry Styles/ Louis Tomlinson) – fic post

With Harry in New York finishing up his PhD and Louis in London working as a solicitor, they try to navigate their eight year situationship including almost-daily phone calls, the occasional indulgence of casual phone sex, and endless gossip sessions as the feelings they have for each other get harder to ignore.

Reccer says: The scene where Louis reads a Lincoln biography out loud to H in the bath? Swoonworthy!

The Handbasket Diaries by Hazel_tea_dreams (160326, Mature, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)

London’s expensive and work’s a grind but everything is a little better when you have good mates who understand you. The narrow brick flat building in Brixton, home to Louis, Liam, and Zayn and affectionately referred to as The Handbasket, is more than a place to catch winks and reheat leftovers. When Harry stumbles into its midst (and Louis' lap) with flatmate Niall in tow on a particularly hot Pride weekend, none of the five of them will be fully prepared for the shenanigans, tomfoolery, true friendship, or steamy romance that will unfold over the year.

Reccer says: This was so fucking lovely. I binged it in two days—only put it down to scream about it on Bluesky (and sleep and like, essential stuff). The writing is witty and tender and, apparently, communication kink is my jam. This is the only fic (in recent memory) that I finished and then wanted to restart immediately.

[paracosmicessence]

i've contemplated sending u an ask here for like 2 days regarding ur sonadow art and oufhgh i have to say it is so,, so gentle like the intimacy and softness of it all/pos i hardly see artists that explore the intimate cuddly drawings without the sexual coding so finding your art is so nice?? like refreshing nice as an aroace person bc in my perfect world, many little guys are just cat coded and it's so so cool to me to have found ur art out in the wild also for the mpreg stuff youre literally one of the most normal ppl i've seen draw/bring it up lol, i'm aware so many ppl like to meme on it or make it a fetish which tbh is pretty transphobic, so i'm just really glad you steered it away from that direction and displayed it as something normal and gentle given the context of the au/lh

first off thank you this is such a nice message and i love that people also feel the vibes of soft and intimate from my sonadow art that’s my only ever goal whenever i drew them 😭😭

second off FELLOW AROACE PERSON ACQUIRED 🫵‼️like omg you get it i love thinking about ships in a cat coding way if that makes sense but especially sonadow bc they’re animals so i just love thinking about them as little guys i can put in my pocket just like my cat

like idk if this is an aroace thing bc i don’t hear it described in a way that i relate to exactly so this might just be me but basically: i’ve always loved romance and ships in fiction but as i got older i slowly realized that i don’t think i can feel it for myself. which kinda made me sad at first because the idea of having a partner always seemed so nice, that was the main reason i didn’t think i was aroace at first because i thought i had always wanted to be in a relationship. i did some research and looked into different identities on the aroace spectrum, and thought that cupioromantic was probably the most accurate to what i was feeling, but later didn’t feel like it applied to me because i think the “enjoys the idea of being in a relationship” doesn’t fit right? ig?? idk how to describe it other than i like the idea of relationships, but it took me awhile to realize that i didn’t really want to apply myself in one if that makes sense.

most likely there’s a thing or word out there that already exists to describe that and i just haven’t been looking up the right terms, but basically this is just a very very long way of saying that i feel like whenever i get into a ship it sorta..…attaches?? to my very identity or something?? like i know people can be like “this is my OTP i love them forever and think about them literally all the time” and it’s like YES that’s me but also feels like an understatement, like all of my past hyperfixations on ships are literally ingrained into my soul even i’m not that into them anymore. and i know people compare hyperfixations to relationships and tbh that’s probably the most accurate description but again, that feels like an understatement.

okay honestly idk where i’m going with this i think what i’m TRYING to say is that i feel like because i can’t feel romance for myself my appreciation for ships feels so much more…emphasized, and sonadow is like the longest consistent hyperfixation i’ve ever had on a ship and at that point usually when something has been a “hyperfixation” for 2+ plus years i put it on the special interest display case in my brain except that display case has only ever had like hobbies and fandoms themselves, never an actual fictional relationship that i’m obsessed with but here we are. it might be the development of brain has synched up with this specific hyperfixation but sonadow is the first ship that makes me feel genuinely happy to this degree. it doesn’t make me sad to think about them and also go “aw i’m sad because i’ve never felt that way about another person and probably won’t experience that ever” in the exact same way you would go “aw i’m going to be dead someday” when you think about the fact that you’re alive right now and conscious and exist and have a mini existential crisis of the week. like sonadow doesn’t do that to me, i really just love those stupid fucking gay hedgehogs so much they’ve actually changed the entire layout of my brain and all the neurons and shit they’re everything to me.

ANYWAY JESUS CHRIST sorry for the ramble uhhhh lemme know if you or any other aroace people know what the fuck i was trying to say there hope you’re doing well and also happy new year!!!

[mysticeclipses]

Comforts For The Troubled Mind

This fic was inspired by this thought from @nekrosmos

Well, since my last fic was Nik comforting Price, I thought to myself, 'What about one where Price is comforting Nik?' Can you tell I'm developing an obsession?

This had to be one of the most exhausting days Nikolai had experienced in a very long time, and that was saying something considering how much running around he had been doing these past few weeks. As an international arms dealer, the leader of Chimera, and so called ‘taxi service’ for Task Force 141, running back and forth between countries in his trusty Black Hawk helicopter became the norm for his life after so many years in his line of work. Yet with so many years of experience under his belt, Nikolai could feel these past few weeks really starting to weigh down on his shoulders, and today was the final straw that made him realize just how much he was exhausting himself for the sake of everyone else around him that needed his help.

Waking up during the early morning hours at Urzikstan, Nikolai freshened up to the best of his ability before quickly busying himself with a meeting with his fellow Chimera operators, having spent the last few days picking up Krueger, Syd, and Yegor so they could join Farah and Iskra at their base. Trying to do a virtual meeting with all of them scattered across the globe just would not work out well, so of course, Nikolai volunteered to fly out and grab everyone instead of having them spend an unnecessary amount of money on plane tickets to Urzikstan. A bit tiring for the man, but he had spent longer in his helicopter, so this was nothing at the end of the day. During the meeting, where they had been trying to come up with a plan on how to counter an attack made by Al Qatala in recent weeks, Nikolai couldn’t help but be constantly glancing at his phone.

Nikolai was anticipating a phone call or message from one of his associates in Germany about an arms deal that he needed to be at, yet his men had been radio silent, which wasn’t a good sign for what was to come in Nik’s mind. Still, he tried to push away the negative thoughts and put more of his focus on the task at hand, working to devise a plan that would work regardless as to whether or not he would still be around to fight with his team. When that phone call finally came through, Nikolai would finally allow himself to breathe a small sigh of relief knowing that his buyer was now on his way to the meet point, turning his attention back to the papers Farah had laid out on a table as they put the final touches on their plan. Only a few small details had to be changed now that Nikolai had his confirmation call, and once everything was in place, he said his farewells to everyone before rushing off to his helicopter under the morning sun.

With Farah having assured Nikolai that she would take care of returning everyone back home once they were finished with their plan, he assumed that this would finally take some stress off his shoulders as he headed towards Germany to get this arms deal over and done with. Oh how wrong he had been. The flight from Urzikstan to Germany took longer than Nikolai had initially thought it would, making him regret not eating something while still on Farah’s base when he finally landed, the sun having neared its peak in the sky. Checking on the goods that were stored in the back of the helicopter, Nikolai couldn’t help but grumble as he saw the bullets for the gun he was trading were now scattered around the inside of the briefcase, now having to spend precious minutes searching for all of them and tucking them back into the right pocket. Nikolai wouldn’t stand delivering products that didn’t represent his professionalism and the efforts he went through to obtain such weapons.

After giving the gun a final once-over just to make sure it was still intact, Nikolai shut the briefcase and hopped out of his helicopter, making his way to the small town where he would be meeting with his client. Of course, Nikolai had to stop at a small corner shop to grab something to eat before he even dared join the meeting, as a hungry Nikolai was a snippy Nikolai, and he knew the deal would be impossible to make if he was in such a state. One drei im weggla and a franzbrötchen later, and Nikolai’s hunger was satiated for the time being, quickly checking his face in a window to make sure he had no food remnants before finally coming up to the right building. It took long enough for Nikolai to get here, smoothing out any hairs that were out of place before heading inside and making his way to the meeting room, taking a mental note of any people he passed by as well. Even after so many years of being an arms dealer and having gained both respect and fear from those around him in this underworld, Nikolai still wouldn’t risk letting his guard down during trades.

Stepping past the metal door, Nikolai instinctively squared his shoulders as he saw the four men on the other side of the table, immediately picking out the supposed ‘leader’ from the quartet as he took a seat next to his own associates. This was exactly what Nikolai had expected to see, but what he didn’t expect was for each of the men to be of different nationalities, something he picked up on as he listened to their hushed conversations. The ‘leader’ was German, as expected, yet the man on his right was French, the man closest to his left was Filipino, and the man farthest to his left was Ecuadorian. None of those facts were issues to Nikolai, he had worked with people all over the globe for multiple jobs, so he was used to being in groups where no two people had the same background. No, the issue Nikolai noticed was the fact that they were much more keen on speaking in their native languages, and only their native languages. Again, Nikolai didn’t have an issue with that, and he could even understand why they would do so, as it was easier to say what you didn’t want others to know by speaking in other languages.

Even though Nikolai could understand what they were saying, he didn’t anticipate having to switch between German, French, Filipino, and Spanish when he wanted to converse with them about the deal. He had to repeat the same sentences four times over, speaking to each of the men individually instead of as a group, which was stressing his already stressed mind. Nikolai had already started growing a small headache from switching back and forth between English and Arabic back in Urzikstan, and now he had to go back and forth between four different languages? It would be a miracle if Nikolai didn’t leave this meeting without a much more aggressive headache. But of course, as fate would have it, Nikolai just wasn’t able to get a break.

That headache, which had started out as nothing more than a dull pulsing in the back of his skull that was easy to ignore, had now grown into an all-encompassing pressure around Nikolai’s head that he couldn’t ignore, no matter how hard he tried. Switching between four different languages wasn’t helping in the slightest, but what’s worse was the fact that the man who had called Nikolai for this deal didn’t even have the money to afford the damn thing! What a complete waste of time this had been, and Nikolai wasn’t afraid to make the sentiment known, cursing the four men out in all eight languages he knew before handing the suitcase with the gun off to one of his associates so he could leave. Of course, the men weren’t exactly happy with Nikolai’s words, nor were they happy to be leaving without the gun, so what else was there to do but open fire on Nikolai and his associates in a desperate attempt to get what they wanted? What a big mistake that was, as Nikolai was never unarmed walking into deals, and all it took were a few well-trained shots before the four men were nothing more than new tallies tacked onto his already extensive tally list of kills. And what a waste of four useful bullets too.

With a heavy exhale, Nikolai simply waved his associates in the direction of the bodies before leaving the room, wiping a few drops of blood off his leather jacket in the process. He trusted his associates to take care of putting the gun in a safe place until they got a new buyer, so now, all that was left for Nikolai right now was to get back to the United Kingdom and the base of Task Force 141 to finally get a break. Another flight that would last several hours wasn’t something that sounded overly thrilling to Nikolai, especially not with such an aggressive headache, but he didn’t exactly have any other choices. At least Nikolai had wisely snagged a couple bottles of water before making the trek back to his helicopter, and he took some time to enjoy the scenery as well since, to his knowledge, he didn’t have to rush anywhere. The fresh air was helping Nikolai’s headache a bit, though he would’ve preferred to have some sort of pain killer. Oh well, at least he could look forward to an ice pack and some peace and quiet once he got back to the Task Force base, maybe even a good meal so long as their fridge had actual food in it and not just week old rations.

The flight back to the United Kingdom was just as uneventful as Nikolai had imagined it would be, and he wouldn’t have it any other way to be honest. Even though the long flight was tiring, and Nikolai’s joints were definitely starting to feel the ache from sitting in the same chair for so many hours, he was just relieved to finally be back to a place of familiarity. And perhaps he was also looking forward to spending some quality time with a certain captain. It didn’t take long for Nikolai’s thoughts to be consumed by John Price and everything he had been missing about the man during these long weeks away. His hearty chuckle, his strong arms, his gentle eyes, the scratch of his facial hair when they shared a tender kiss, the warmth that filled the bed when they laid together, the gentle crinkling of his eyes when he smiled, the healthy thumping of his heart that easily lulled Nikolai to sleep, the way he just made Nikolai feel so at ease. God, Nikolai couldn’t wait much longer to get back on base.

Thankfully, Nikolai managed to land on the base of Task Force 141 as the sun was reaching the end of its descent, painting the sky in gentle shades of greens, blues, and purples with only hints of yellows and oranges. It truly was a gorgeous sight to behold, and Nikolai wished he could share it with John, hopping out of his helicopter to finally stretch his tired joints out. It didn’t take long for Nikolai to notice Price and his team were missing from base, though he just assumed they were out on an op, looking around his hanger for some pain killers he knew were stashed somewhere among his tools and spare helicopter parts. Maybe Nikolai should’ve taken some time to organize the place now that he really thought about it, as he was struggling to find those painkillers, and he could feel his headache coming back thanks to the sounds of tools being knocked into helicopter parts. Still, Nikolai tried to think positively as he continued digging around the disorganization. A warm meal, a comfortable bed, a nice movie, John in his arms, maybe even a bit of stress relief if you could catch his drift. Nikolai wanted to feel John’s bare skin beneath his fingers, John’s well-built muscles in his palms, John’s warm breath against his neck, John’s quiet pants in his ear, John’s ass against his-“Nikolai!”

Laswell’s voice startled Nikolai out of his thoughts, quickly attempting to stand up just to smack his head against the underside of the cabinet he had been searching in, letting out a string of muttered curses before getting out from the cabinet and standing to face Laswell. “Ah, Laswell, is nice to see you again.” Nikolai grunted as he rubbed the top of his head, trying to hide the exhaustion in his voice as he noticed a paper in Laswell’s hand that was now held out in his direction, taking it hesitantly before looking at what she had written. “The team needs your help getting back from an operation. We got false information about the location of some stolen weapons and they’re pinned down under enemy fire. You need to get them out before enemies close in on them.” Of course, Nikolai shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up about finally getting to relax. This was Task Force 141 afterall. “Understood. I will have them back shortly.” Nikolai simply nodded as Laswell before turning around and getting back into his helicopter, punching the coordinates into the gps before taking off for, hopefully, the last time today. It didn’t take longer than a few minutes for Nikolai to make it to the destination, and he knew he was getting close thanks to the sounds of gunfire, which was doing wonders for his headache.

Every gunshot made Nikolai’s head throb in pain, and as he lowered the helicopter to where John and his team were pinned down, the throbbing continued to intensify until it felt like thousands of hammers were constantly coming down on his skull. At least Price, Gaz, Ghost, and Soap got into the helicopter quickly, allowing Nikolai to take back to the air and get them back to base without much of a hassle, though the sound of bullets hitting the helicopter rang in his ears for much longer than he appreciated. Nikolai simply offered the team of grunt to acknowledge their presence before spacing out for the rest of the flight, his body acting without thought once he had landed back on base. Hopping out of the helicopter, Nikolai was already walking back to his shared room with Price hot on his tail, the man speaking so fervently about the operation that it was hard to really understand with his head still pounding so aggressively. Those painkillers were forgotten about as Nikolai opened the door to their room and kicked his boots off, collapsing onto the bed without a second thought before rubbing his temples to try and reduce the intensity of his headache turned migraine.

Nikolai could still hear Price moving around and talking about the operation, but he was barely even paying attention, only realizing Price was talking to him when he felt a hand shaking his shoulder. “Oi, Nik, you alright? You haven’t said a word since we landed, and your face is tense.” Price muttered with concern in his tone, reaching out to place a hand on the side of Nikolai’s head as well. “Ah, извинения, my dear. It has был долгий день and I cannot концентрат well.” Now Price knew something was up considering how Nikolai was slurring his speech and he was switching back and forth between English and Russian without realizing. Patting Nikolai’s head, Price stood up and left the room for a moment, coming back a moment later with a freshly cracked ice pack. Wordlessly, Price placed the ice pack on Nikolai’s forehead, noticing how the tension in his expression melted into relief almost instantly. Price knew that Nikolai likely wasn’t going to be up for much of a conversation, so he took it upon himself to take care of the tired Russian for the rest of the night; closing the curtains, turning off the lights, laying out some comfortable clothes, and slowly closing the door so he could place an order for food and look for a movie.

Around 30 minutes later, the food John had ordered finally got to base, and he managed to pick out a movie from the large collection that Nik had amassed over the years. Would John be able to keep up with anything going on? No, not likely, but he knew it was one of Nik’s favorite movies, so he’d manage. When John finally stepped back into the room, he was surprised to see Nik hadn’t moved a bit from where he was laying on the bed, the change of clothes remaining untouched for the time being, and the only sign that the man was even still awake was the subtle twitching of his fingers. This was a side of Nik that John rarely ever saw, but every time it showed up, it concerned John all the same. Setting the food and movie to the side for now, John shook Nik several times to get his full attention. “C’mon Nik, you know you’ll feel better once you get out of that jacket and jumpsuit. Get changed, I already got food and a movie for us.” It took a bit, but John managed to get Nik to get up from the bed and change, putting the ice pack to the side as he worked to get the movie ready on his laptop.

Once Nik was changed and the movie was ready to play, John unboxed the food and climbed into bed next to Nik, guiding the man’s head against his chest before handing him the food and setting the laptop between the two of them near the foot of the bed. John had ordered two plates of fish and chips, a bit cliche, but it was the one thing he knew would get the least amount of complaints from Nik. John made sure Nik was comfortable before pressing play and nestling the fingers of his left hand into the thick black hair, beginning to idly scratch and rub at the man’s scalp while eating with his right hand. Hearing Nik let out a deep groan of satisfaction, John couldn’t help but smile as he felt Nik slowly be reduced into a puddle of relaxation in mere minutes, the food now forgotten for the time being as he simply relished in the feeling of John’s fingers working the migraine away until it was nothing more than a fleeting afterthought. Still, Nik couldn’t help but lean into John’s touch even after his migraine had receded, the movie simply becoming background noise for the both of them as the night carried on.

Eventually, both of their meals had been finished, the two men simply basking in each other's presences even after the movie had ended and John had nudged his laptop shut with his foot. The silence did wonders for the both of them, and Nik was grateful that he could finally let his mind relax. No words had to be exchanged between the two men, John could tell what Nik needed simply by looking at him, and he was grateful for that. After the hell he had been through, it was nice to simply be taken care of by his lover, even if it wasn’t how he had initially imagined the night going. As John allowed himself to doze off, Nik nuzzled closer, tangling their legs together just so he could feel more of John’s body against his. John had always been Nik’s rock, his grounding force in life, and it was moments like these that confirmed to Nik that he held a special place in John’s heart. And he’d be damned to leave that space empty.

[sangreprince]

Em's Big Long Sappy New Year's Post Under The Silly Cut©

Hey y'all, I wanna say thank you so much for sticking around this year. It's been a wild ride, and this blog has gotten WAY more love than I ever thought possible. I still have yet to start working on the big post I wanna do that shouts out all of my moots, but still I'm so incredibly thankful to all of you who have been here this whole time.

And I know this is supposed to be a positive thing, but I also want to be real for a second here. This year's been tough.

I don't talk about it a lot but I've been really struggling with stuff, and it's things I don't hear talked about a lot. So here goes. I wanna talk about some mental health stuff I've gone through and where I'm at now. Maybe it'll make somebody's 2025 easier than my 2024. It'll end when the orange lines do.

─────────

I'm not a terribly social person, I prefer one on one interactions much more because it gives me a lot more energy to give people and makes me a lot less anxious than group stuff. I have to be pretty exceptionally comfortable to reach the same level of comfort with a group that I can easily find with individuals. And this year what I've really come to understand is how that happens.

I find that when I introduce myself into a group setting, I compare myself to others a lot. And that really sucks. It's not fair to me, or the people around me. I think a lot of it comes from coming from a 'pull yourself up by the boostraps' type household where failure just isn't an option, and I still think I struggle with the idea that I'm 'failing' if I'm not the best at a certain thing. And if I compare myself with other people, I'm never ever gonna be the best at everything because naturally somebody else is gonna be better at some things than you.

For me this habit has been a really big issue in my relationships in 2024 because I've gotten more involved in friend groups. I don't think I'm over this bad habit, but here's what I've learned: You can't compare yourself to others, because you're not them.

You can't be everybody's best friend because people don't need that. I don't think I could even handle more than a few very close friends ( But I don't think I'm necessarily super 'close' with anyone as I think most people only see what I want them to see, and I have immense trouble with actually showing people every side of who I am just because I'm still struggling with feeling comfortable with being truly vulnerable around people and not comfortably vulnerable )

This is hard to admit even as I'm writing it, but I think deep down I learned this year that I have an intense need to prove myself to somebody that doesn't exist. An idea of this 'perfect' version of myself I've conjured up in my head. And to those close friends who've seen me lose it damn near self-flagellating myself because I wasn't the best friend somebody has or best player on the team: Thank you. For being honest with me. For grounding me and splashing the proverbial water on my face and taking me out of my own headspace. This kinda growth is hard, and overnight change is... Unrealistic at best but I try and take your grace and trust that you place in me every day and overcome one step at a time.

And I hope that one day, I can repay the kindness and patience you've shown me. I'm not used to having friends, frankly. I didn't have any, not really, until about 2019/2020. I've always been a recluse, somebody who shied from getting close to anyone as a consequence of abuse. This ( I theorize ) has affected me down to my sexuality, identity, and habits I've taken into other relationships. I've only had true, close friends for about four or five years of my life total.

I am not used to it. And I fear, at times, this is painfully obvious. So to those who I call close : Thank you. You are what keeps me going. You are what I work towards and what I carry with me. I hope that one day I can get out of my own head about this stuff, about this notion I feel to constantly prove myself in some way or another. And I want you all to know that you're the reason I'm determined to make this change, no matter how hard it is or how long it takes.

─────────

Anyway... Now for the shoutouts. This is less heavy than all of the above and in no particular order of significance as I'm just going off the top of my head: I would include everybody I love talking to but oh my god I would be here all day and besides y'all are getting that in the future anyways so. This is just the short list of personal thank you's!!!

@espelharr You, much like the radiant Viktor you write, have been a catalyst of change for me in a lot of ways. You've helped keep me honest, and been honest with me. We're pretty close and I'll admit, it makes me a little quiet and a little nervous because I'm really not used to having somebody I would consider a friend like that. You are among a very small group of people that I can confidently say I dearly trust. I admit it's kind of alien to me. I honestly don't know what to say with regards to it because I'm not entirely sure I've developed the social skills to develop a relationship beyond what we have.

In other words, you've maxed out my friendship meter and exhausted my dialog. Well, not actually. I never shut the fuck up and you know that perfectly well. I know we're both goin through out shit but if I could give you one gift as a token of my appreciation, it would be to let you see yourself for one minute how I see you every second of every day of every year that's to come.

And that's coming from somebody who has no idea of what's to come. But if you'll have me, I'd like to be a part of it. Through thick and thin, wind rain and snow.

Thank you, friend. I am proud to call you this. You get the long post because it's the last bit of Em "I wanna step out of my comfort zone and be vulnerable" before I retreat into my ball again.

@lronwilled Shep I'm still so confused how you infected my friend groups and became so close to me LMAO LIKE IT JUST KINDA HAPPENED AND I can maybe pinpoint like. One or two instances of maybe where it began but I still honestly have an immense amount of appreciation for all the patience and kindness you've shown me. I'm incredibly glad to have met you and started to actually talk more and I hope in 2025 I can maybe finally give you more than one reply a year and oh my god I haven't replie-

@untoldwithin / @avatarwithin YETI... I adore having got to know you and plot stuff like we have. Your portrayals conjure the voices of those you portray to my mind, and talking with you about ideas is always such a blast?? I love seeing you on the dash and love doing things just as much. Here's to a 2025 filled with a LOT MORE of all of the above, I'm so ready for it!!

@plasticsouled / @fearedelight Sal I hope you know how much I love seeing your silly little self on the dash. Even your main blog with muses I know nothing about are stuffed full of life and so much passion that it makes me so glad to be here and be a part of it. You're a fantastic writing partner and I'm so thankful to have met you in the last quarter of this year, and I really hope we can expand on everything we have and more in what's to come!! I love our silly lil shippy stuff and being able to talk is always such a joy and I go pspspsppsp for you to give me any and all thoughts whenever you have them because I can't get enough.

@primegrim / @mirkc / any of your other blogs PICHU I'm so glad to have met you this year and had somebody to ramble with. You write like a thousand blorbos but I'm grabbing each and every one of them with both my hands. Being able to talk and plot and do whatever else is such a blessing and I'm so glad you're here with us. if possible I'd take all your characters and raise them up like Simba, I'm such a fan 24/7 no questions asked.

@jinxe RAY MY BELOVED you have been here with me since the Volibear days and I'm so thankful for it. I've made this known several times but your lil meow meow will always be at my heart and you alone have made me appreciate her as a character so much more than I ever thought possible. I wish you were here more because I would be GRABBING YOU at all possible times.

Honorable Mentions:

You guys already know I love and appreciate you so much, and this is by no means all inclusive. If you're not on here I probably just forgor because this post is already long and emotional for me so skdjhfsdkj here goes!

@rotdame / bloom @soulcluster / NERD (I had to) @luxcruor / sailor @curscdtm / nathy @decaeys / my favorite stinky goth irl toreador @venstm / Ray :3 @hexsreality / Itzel @edgymuses / Jolyne @nameaprice / Xena @pompedia / POM @erobret / FERGIE :D @blueheals & @heirashari / Evie @avernusfuries HANNNN- gets slammed through a wall @spiderwarden & @coldjustness Melody @lunaetis / Hina @blackrosesmatron / lucy

Thank you.

All of you.

Here's to a good 2025.

[girliism]

priest in training au

a week had passed since you were caught coming back from sneaking out. all the girls on your floor were woken up and you were given a public scolding. you had cried yourself to sleep that night. you use to be good, the nuns use to make examples out of you. but then art walked into your life, and he made you want things, crave things. maybe it was best you didn’t see him anymore

-

“what’s up with you and your virgin mary? was the date so bad she had to shun you.” patrick joked, causing art to push him. “shut up, and don’t call her that. she’s probably just busy with final vow ceremony coming up and everything.” art made excuses for you even though he didn’t know why you’ve been avoiding him.

always rushing out of class, ignoring him during mass, and pretending not to see him waving at you. but you saw all his attempts to talk to you. you felt the way his gaze would burn into the back of your head. it was killing you not to interact with him, but you knew where that would lead.

art was sick of it. sick of you avoiding him. so he cornered you one day outside, dragging you behind a building and trapping you between his hands.

“why have you been ignoring me? did i do something wrong, did i hurt you?” you could hear the confusion in art’s voice and it had you shaking your head. “no! no, it’s not that.” you take a deep breath closing your eyes. “i’ve just been thinking….and i don’t think we should see each other anymore.” you whispered. art’s hands had slipped from where they were resting on the wall.

“what?”

now art was convinced that he did something. “why?” you chewed on your bottom lip shrugging. “it’s just we’re gonna be taking our final vows soon and-” art cut you off scoffing. “so what, you were just gonna never speak to me again?”

you sighed holding art’s hands in yours. “art, i’ve had a lot of fun with you, but realistically how long was this to go on.” forever. art wanted to say. his feelings that started out as purely sexual had morphed into something real. you had bewitched him.

“but what if i don’t want this to end?” he locked his eyes on yours. “what if we just fucked off together. you and me.”

“art.” your furrowed your brows. this was very serious to you. for years you studied towards your nun status and was so close to making your parents proud. while art wouldn’t think twice before abandoning his post.

“what? i’m being serious. there’s nothing for us here but a life of temptation why not just leave.” it was your turn to cut him off. “you’re just saying that because you wanna have sex me.” you hissed, pulling your hands out of his.

you moved to get away from him, away from this conversation but art grabbed your arm pulling you back to face him. “i’m not!” art took a deep breath sighing, preparing himself for the cheesy love confession he was about to give.

“i mean, maybe in the beginning, yeah. but you’ve done something weird to my heart. i…i think about you all the time, you’re in every corner of my mind. and it’s ok if you don’t feel the same but i just can’t go on anymore without you knowing this.”

art stopped speaking and you were shocked. thoughts upon throughts were racing through your head. you thought over the time you spent with art, allowing yourself to give in instead of pushing down those less than pure feelings had felt freeing.

were you really going to go back to making empty vows and hiding under your vails of false purity?

your lack of an immediate answer had art’s hands dropping their hold on you arms. sensing he was going to walk away you blurted out.

“i’ve never done such things like this before meeting you.” you blinked. “you make my heart feel weird as well. a weird feeling that i wanna keep feeling. but… i’m scared and-”

arts hands were on your cheeks and his lips met yours before you could finish speaking. the kiss was soft and slow. different from the ones you usually have. your mouth automatically stared moving with his, like a natural instinct.

“you don’t have to be.” art said breaking the kiss. placing his forehead on yours. “we’d have each other. and possibly my grandmother.” he was quick to add on the end, which had you huffing a laugh.

maybe everything would be ok.

(next smut 😈)

[bimboficationblues]

2024 was a mixed bag. I spent a lot of it malding about my job, but fortunately I am no longer there and have a new one (family lawyer for DV survivors). Idk if I want to keep being a lawyer long term but rn I am making more money, doing more interesting (but potentially taxing) work, and hopefully it will level out to something either tolerable or useful.

long distance with my love is still sad, and we found that polyamory did not really alleviate those pressures, but we have taken some good steps towards a different approach, starting with a monogamy trial run. I found dating around mostly unpleasant despite some exciting possibilities throughout the year - very few people seem to really know what they want and act accordingly. ultimately poly started to feel like I was chasing after an ideal, and I do believe I’d enjoy that ideal. but when the process of pursuing it is so exhausting and unfun and crazy-making it just doesn’t seem worth it. the lesbian connections I found frequently ended because the other person started acting like an avoidant abject meow meow and I simply don’t have the patience.

as far as bringing the long distance to a close, I'm not sure how that’s gonna happen - I love Chicago and I don't want to leave my people. for the first time since maybe high school I do not feel fundamentally lonely and I think that's a feeling worth taking seriously. I've been really overjoyed by my various friendships, both near and far. but I miss my gf dearly. she has my heart. I don’t feel like I’ve ever loved or been loved like this. It’s a difficult situation.

I did get to travel a lot which was nice - this year in addition to regular Washington visits, including one to Olympic National Park, I also went to Barcelona, Toronto, Montreal, Cleveland, and Philadelphia. I am visiting my love's hometown currently and while I was kind of dreading it a bit it's turned out to be overall very pleasant and comforting and nice to see where she came from. Plus I did some visits to the family in SC.

speaking of which, I am feeling generally at ease with my parents. I feel like I've been able to accept that they are limited people, but not to such a degree that it makes being around them impossible, and they have also generally gotten cooler about a lot of things. we have a lot in common and it is generally fun to spend time with them despite their foibles. being able to do drugs together also helps. my dad turned 60 this year and my mom has been having health issues, which I do think has made entropy be on my mind a lot more to a troubling degree. dunno how I’ll handle that when it becomes a more pressing consideration but I guess that’s a problem for the future.

last January I made a conscious effort to approach my passions and hobbies more intentionally by making a daily schedule that roughly looked like this:

MONDAY - fiction reading; TUESDAY - history studies; WEDNESDAY - philosophy/political theory studies/writing; THURSDAY - working on music; FRIDAY - watching movies.

I also tried to get some daily activities going on top of all these - listening to at least one full album a day, regular walks, practicing guitar, yoga. keeping to this was inconsistent - sometimes I was locked in and sometimes I'd get derailed by other priorities (spending time with the love, seeing my lovely friends, getting stoned, travel). sometimes certain activities are just easier (reading comics is always fun and also minimally demanding of my energy, social media and doomscrolling is a tempting time-sink). I might try and revise this approach in some ways - I might want to take a harder tack with how much time I want to spend on each activity - but I do think that even just being deliberate and structured about how I spend my time made my mental state significantly stronger. so that is a positive development.

artistically I've made progress on the album, but I never feel like I have enough time to dedicate to it with work and everything else. but I also think my approach of trying to write all the songs first before recording them was the wrong one. so instead I think I'm going to start trying to get what I've roughly finished into a recorded form and in the process a stronger vision of the project will emerge which will help with future songs. this will require me to learn some new skills - I've always worked with a producer before - but that's not a bad thing. my friends and I are also doing a writing workshop so that will be nice to get feedback from people I love and trust.

social media has been real bad for me this past year in a kind of emotionally masochistic way - I found myself hatereading a lot more, which is bad. I’m hoping I can adjust that this year and stop getting brain damage from pissing myself off.

part of the reason for the above is that the political situation domestically and globally is dire and basically I just see cope or rationalization everywhere which, considering the urgency and scope and existential weight of what’s happening, is really infuriating to me. I feel like after a year of some of the most depraved inhuman butchery imaginable, as the ruling class takes refuge in obvious bad faith that is “all the more odious because it is less and less likely to deceive,” and with Hitleritis running rampant through civil society, we need a sober reflection on the challenge ahead of us as socialists. I do not want the ruling class to annihilate the rest of us with them or for capital to find new, intensified, and more insidious methods of shifting crisis around. this is partly why anti-intellectual, regressive forms of Marxism have been stuck in my craw lately, because it feels like psychological palliatives masquerading as politics. I’m not sure what the move is to really turn the tides of the war we are in, but doing away with self-deceiving political impulses seems like a start.

[starrihan]

Happy New Year, Kiss Me - New Years with Enhypen

-> Pairing: Enhypen x afab! Reader

-> Plot: how you would spend New Year's with the Enhypen members

-> Genre: fluff, Heeseung's is slightly suggestive, Jake's is very suggestive

-> Warnings: drinking, use of nicknames (love, darling, sweetie, baby), hyung line scenario's take place at Jay's new year's party

-> Word Count: 3,143, each one got progressively longer as i continued writing (350-500 words each)

-> Notes: Happy New Year! I hope you all enjoy reading these as much as I enjoyed writing them! Hope you all have a wonderful new year and lets hope 2025 goes better than this year did (for me at least) 🤧

༄ ༄ ༄

Heeseung: 

The New Year’s party was something you had been looking forward to. After all the anticipation of Christmas had passed, you were ready to welcome the new year with open arms. You made your way to Jay’s house. He hosted the New Year’s party every year, always making it better each time. 

You arrived at the party shortly after it began, fixing your hair in the car before knocking on the door. 

“Hey guys! Y/N’s here!”

Jay says, opening the door and giving you a hug as you walk in. You make your way to the kitchen, where you find Sunghoon and Jake. 

“Hey Y/N! You look amazing!” 

Sunghoon says, pouring you a glass of champagne. 

“Thank you! You both look really handsome as well!” 

You sip at your drink, making your way around and greeting everyone you knew until you finally found the boy you were looking for.

“Heeseung! Finally!” 

You walk up to the tall, brown haired man who was talking with a couple of his other friends. 

“Y/N! It’s so good to see you! I’m sorry I was a bit distracted! You look really good!”

He says, pulling you in for a hug. You just chuckle and tell him it’s alright, joining the conversation and laughing amongst the group. 

As the time approaches 12 a.m, you look around, watching everyone break away into pairs, presumably with the person they plan on kissing. You realize that the only other guy without a partner is Heeseung. He looks down at you and smiles, 

“Guess you’re my New Year’s kiss, Y/N,”

You smile up at him, nodding as you watch the big flat screen tv countdown. 

60 seconds…

30 seconds…

10 seconds…

3…

2…

1…

“Happy New Year’s!”

The whole house erupts as everyone looks to their partner, sharing a quick kiss. You look up at Heeseung who is already leaning in, closing your eyes as your lips meet. The kiss doesn’t last for long, but you can feel yourself relaxing into his touch, hands holding his face as he pulls away and flashes you a smirk. 

“Your lips are so soft, we should do this again sometime,” 

You laugh as you playfully hit his chest at his flirty tone, but not before giving him a flirty reply back,

“Let’s see where the end of the night takes us~”

༄ ༄ ༄

Jay:

You woke up in the morning to help your boyfriend, Jay, prepare for the party that was being thrown in your shared home. It was your job to decorate while he got drinks and snacks. 

You spent the morning taping up streamers and making sure the centerpieces looked right. You had provided little hats and glasses that say 2025 on them, loving little corny accessories. 

As the day progressed, you got yourself ready for the party. After showering, you got started on your makeup, waiting for your hair to dry. After finishing that, you fixed your hair before slipping on a silver sequin dress, one that you knew Jay would not be able to keep his eyes off of. You had decided to keep your outfit a surprise, wanting to see his reaction to you wearing it for the first time before the party started. 

“Wow, you look absolutely stunning,”

He says, awestruck, taking your hand and having you do a little twirl. 

“I’m glad you like it! I’ve been dying to show you!” 

You say, embracing him and pecking his lips.

“C’mon, the guests will be here soon!” 

You say, making your way downstairs to greet the first round of guests. 

“Y/N! Jay! You guys look beautiful!” 

Jake exclaims, walking in with his girlfriend, a big smile plastered on his face. 

“You guys really out did yourself this year!” 

He makes his way to the kitchen, pouring him and his girlfriend some drinks. 

You enjoy your night talking to your friends and Jay, relishing in the compliments you were getting at the successful party you managed to throw, yet again. 

“1 minute till midnight!” 

Jay yells, grabbing everyone’s attention for the New Year’s tradition. As the countdown reaches 1, you look to Jay who's already looking at you. 

“Happy New Year my love~”

“Happy New Year Jay!”

You both say to each other, leaning in for a passionate kiss, one that lasted longer than most people’s. You smiled at him, taking in the feeling of being together for another new year.

“We’re really good at this”

“Yes we are”

༄ ༄ ༄

Jake:

You looked at yourself in the mirror, fixing your hair and making sure your makeup was on point, matching the style and color of your black and silver dress. 

“My baby, looking stunning as always,” 

Jake says, leaning on the door frame. 

“Almost makes me wanna keep you here all night…”

He walks behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his head on your shoulder, giving your cheek a quick peck. 

“Do we have to go? You look too good…”

He whines, hands traveling up and down your sides now, trying to entice you to stay. You laugh as you put your hands over his, stopping his movements.

“Jake, it’s your best friends party, we have to go! Besides, if you behave, I’ll show you what’s under this dress,”

You say back to him, staring into his eyes through the mirror. He buries his face in your neck, smirking as he trails kisses up towards your ear. 

“I guess we can go then. What’s a few hours anyways when we’ll be up all night?” 

“Let’s go you horn ball,”

You say, grabbing the car keys on your way out. You walk up to the door and knock, Jake right next to you as you’re greeted by Jay and his girlfriend. You head to the kitchen, talking with Jake’s friends as he pours you and himself a drink. 

You find yourself pretty tipsy but the time midnight rolls around, finding ways to tease Jake due to your own pent-up state. 

“Weren’t you the one who told me to behave before we left?”

He quirks an eyebrow at you, finding your wondering hands amusing. 

“You gave me too much to drink… you know how I get when I’m tipsy”

You say, cheeks flushed and vision slightly blurry, staring at Jake as he holds your hand, gesturing to the tv. 

“Only 5 more minutes, yeah? Then we can head home and I can give you what you’re so desperately needing,”

Voice dripping with honey as he whispers seductively in your ear, your need for him increasing with every passing minute. The countdown begins, you’re so eager, staring at Jake and almost kissing him before midnight. He laughs and holds you off, waiting till the last second.

“Happy New Year’s baby, now come here”

You don’t even say it back, smashing your lips onto his in a hungry kiss.

“Beautiful, happy New Years! Can we go home now?”

He laughs and nods, letting himself be dragged out the door while shouting his goodbyes to all his friends. 

“Let’s see what you have on under that dress,”

(whenever i read/ write stuff about Jake that has him saying shit like this I always picture this emoji 😛)

༄ ༄ ༄

Sunghoon:

Sunghoon is a very punctual person. So he was rightfully annoyed when you were taking your sweet time getting ready, thus making you guys 15 minutes late to Jay’s New Year’s party. 

“I’m sorry! My hair wasn’t working with me and I couldn’t get my eyeliner right!”

You say, scrambling into the car as quickly as your heels would allow you to. He just sighed and started driving,

“You had more than enough time to get ready.” 

He said sternly. You sighed back in response. You couldn’t argue with him, he was right. You did have many hours to get ready, and you still somehow managed to be late.

“You’re right Hoon, I’m sorry.”

He could sense how apologetic you were, resting his hand on your thigh and giving it a little squeeze. 

“It’s alright sweetheart. It’s only Jay, he won’t care. Plus, we can be fashionably late now. You do look gorgeous.”

He says, and you smile, feeling at ease as you pull up to the party. 

“Please don’t let me drink tonight, I still haven’t recovered from the Christmas party,” 

You say, stepping out of the car and walking up to the front door, hand in hand with Sunghoon. 

“Don’t beg me to give you one when you get bored then.”

You walk into the house, immediately greeted by Jay and Sunghoon’s other friends. You all congregate in the living room, laughing and exchanging stories as if you hadn’t seen these people just 5 days ago. 

“Jay you always make the best drinks but I can’t have any today. I don’t want a repeat of the Christmas party…” 

You laugh sheepishly, recalling the light-headed state you were in that had Sunghoon worried sick that you were going to throw up. You go to the kitchen to grab a snack and Sunghoon follows you in, back-hugging you as you pop a couple of candies into your mouth. 

“Can I have one?”

You laugh as you place a candy in his already open mouth, following it up with a quick kiss. 

“Hey! Save the kisses for the new year!” 

He says playfully to which you roll your eyes, heading back to the living room. You watch as everyone yells in excitement, getting ready to kiss their partners as the timer hits 10 seconds. You all count down with it, shouting “happy new year!,” before looking at Sunghoon, smiling before planting a loving kiss on his lips. 

“Happy new year, my love. I can’t wait to spend another year with you.”

You say, arms around his neck still, his hands squeezing at your waist.

“Happy new years baby, I love you.”

༄ ༄ ༄

Sunoo:

You had decided to spend new years with Sunoo's family this year. You spent last year with your family, so you only thought it would be fair to have this year with his family. 

“Sunoo, baby? Are you almost ready? Your family is waiting for us!” 

You said, hurriedly grabbing your belongings. They had invited you to spend the weekend with them after new years, so you had to make sure you had everything you’d need packed. 

“Yes I’m almost done! And why are you packing? You have everything you need at my house?”

You stare at the little bag you have, only a couple makeup products and new skincare items in there. You were so nervous, you forgot that you basically live there too.

“You’re right. I’m sorry I’m just nervous. We’ve spent a lot of time with your parents but I’ve never met your entire family before.” 

You look at him and sulk, fidgeting your fingers and looking down at your pathetic bag. He walks over to you, holding your hands in his. 

“It’s okay sweetie, they’re gonna love you. And even if they don’t, who cares? I love you.” 

You smile as he places a chaste kiss to your forehead. 

“Let’s go, I’m ready.” 

You nod as you make your way to the car, grabbing the little bag of stuff anyways. 

Upon arriving at Sunoo’s parents house, you sigh as you mentally prepare yourself. You knock on the door and are immediately greeted by Sunoo’s mom who pulls you in for a big hug. 

“Y/N, my darling! I’ve missed you so much! Come in!”

You smile as you feel more at ease. You slip off your shoes as Sunoo greets his mom. You look around to see that mostly everyone is distracted, having conversations amongst their own little groups. 

Sunoo takes you around, introducing you to every one of his family members. You slowly warm up to everyone, being able to make conversation on your own and even being invited out by his other family members for future events. 

As the day passes by, you realize that there’s only a couple minutes left until the new year begins. You start to feel a little shy, the idea of kissing Sunoo while all his family is present is a little bit anxiety-inducing. He can sense your unease, calmly gripping onto your shoulders and pulling you close. 

“I can see that you’re still nervous baby, but it’s okay. They’re all gonna see us kiss on our wedding day anyways, right?” 

You smile and nod, blushing as you wrap your arms around him and bury your face in his neck. The countdown begins and you two join in, staring into each others eyes at the final ‘3, 2, 1,’ before gently leaning in, sharing a short but sweet kiss. 

“Happy New Year Y/N. I’m so lucky to have spent another year with you,” 

He says, leaning his forehead on yours. 

“Happy New Year Sunoo. I’m even luckier~”

༄ ༄ ༄

Jungwon: 

This was the first New Year’s that you would be spending with Jungwon. You had decided to just spend it together at your apartment. You had been invited to a couple of New Year’s parties but you wanted your first one with Jungwon to be special and a little more intimate, without the social pressures of dressing up and making conversation with people you barely know. 

You had decorated a little bit, wanting it to feel a little bit more celebratory than just another night in. You kept it simple though, a couple streamers and silly little party hats to take pictures in. You finish setting up the table with some snacks when you hear a knock on your door, running faster than you’d care to admit to open it. 

“Jungwon!!!” 

You yelled, jumping into his arms for a hug.

“I’m really excited to see you too baby but can we go inside? It’s cold out here…” 

He says as he laughs, entering the warm apartment. He’s welcomed with the familiar scent of your home, sighing as he places his bag down and gives you a proper hug. 

“I missed you baby. I’m so glad we’re spending new years here, together, instead of at some lame party.” 

“Don’t let Jay find out that you called his party lame otherwise he might lecture you on the difficulties of being a good host.”

You both laugh as you break away from each other, Jungwon walking to your living room while you walk to the kitchen. You grab the bottle of champagne you had bought, walking out with it and two champagne glasses in your hands. 

“Even though we’re not at a party, a little champagne is always fitting for the occasion!”

You say as you set the glasses on the table, Jungwon helping you with the bottle.

“Ooh! Can I pop the bottle?” 

You nod as you sit back, letting him pop the top off and laughing when you see a bit of smoke coming out of it. 

“I thought it was gonna spray everywhere,”

 he says, disappointed. 

“I’m glad it didn’t.”

You spend the time sipping away at the champagne and watching trashy reality tv shows, cuddling up under a blanket. You’re so immersed in your activity that you almost miss the clock flashing to 11:59 pm. 

You tap Jungwon and put your glass down, turning to him in excitement.

“1 more minute!!!”

You guys both giggle as you start a mini countdown to each other. 

“3!”

“2!”

“1!”

“Happy New Year!!”

You both yell to each other before leaning in for a kiss. You let it last for a while, not having to worry about the duration of the kiss. 

“I’m glad we decided to spend our first new years like this. I couldn’t have asked for a better way to celebrate.” 

He says, cat-like eyes disappearing in a big smile that engulfs his face. 

“You took the words right out of my mouth.”

༄ ༄ ༄

Niki:

You and Niki hadn’t been together long. You guys met about 8 months ago, but only start dating 2 months ago, so everything romantic still felt pretty new to you both. When you had gotten the news that you’d be going to a New Year’s party that Niki’s friends were throwing, you were very excited yet nervous, to say the least. You’d met his friends before, but never all together at once. 

You were getting ready at your house, opting to start early since Niki would be coming to pick you up. You looked in the mirror as you finished doing your hair, making sure everything looks right. You hear your phone go off besides you:

“Hey darling, I’m outside.”

You read Niki’s message and smile, grabbing your purse before making your way to his car. You find him standing by your door, having already opened it for you. 

“You look gorgeous m’lady,” 

He says, smiling as you laugh as his playfully formal demeanor. 

“You’re looking quite dashing yourself, good sir,” 

You say as you walk into the car. He closes the door for you and you make your way to the party that was at Jake’s house. 

“You look really beautiful. I can’t wait to spend this new year with you.”

You blush and look away, fingers playing with the hand that he kept on your thigh. 

“You're too cute Niki. Thank you. You look really good too! The suit suits you,”

You laugh at your own joke before arriving at Jake’s house. You walk out of the car and head up to the front door, Niki following behind you. Without even knocking on the door, the door flies open revealing an excited Jake. 

“Y/N!! You’re here!” 

He says, dragging you inside. 

“Hey, what about me?” 

Niki sulks as he walks in, jokingly bitter about not being greeted by Jake. 

“I’m glad you guys could come! Thank you Y/N for coming out here tonight. We were all so excited to have you!”

You smile at Jake’s sweet words, leaning your head on Niki’s shoulder as you all engage in conversation. 

The night goes smoothly, playing games while the adults drink champagne and you and Niki stick to drinking cider. 

“Get ready guys, 5 minutes till midnight!”

Heeseung says, going over to his girlfriend. All the boys go to their significant others, waiting for the countdown to begin. You stay next to Niki, anticipating the countdown. You guys had kissed before, but with you both being so busy and still new to the relationship, you weren’t used to it yet. 

The countdown begins, everyone getting excited and yelling as the numbers go down. 

You look up at Niki, who is smiling down as the final 3 seconds pass, leaning down to capture your lips in a sweet kiss. 

“Happy New Year darling.”

“Happy New Year Niki~” 

༄ ༄ ༄

[femboychuuya]

Soooo, here we are, a New Year

Now, this post will be different than my usual art Posts i do. A few days before the New Year hit i got kind of reminded that Art Summaries exist.

Usually people only put one Art in, i think its the "best" one which they like the most, i think.

Though i wasn't able to decide for only 1 piece for each Month, so let me take you through my whole 2024 Art Journey!

- - - ☆

Starting off, i was 19 when i started Art. Back in May was when i came up to my beloved now girlfriend Kiera and asked for Advice on Drawing and told her that i wanted to start Art.

I chose to start with Hands. (albeit i did not include those visually in my Summary)

Hands were.... well.... hands. Kiera sended me a few Videos on how to draw, recommending me a German Youtuber called DrawingLikeASir. This is where i got my basic understanding on how hands (and also Human Anatomy as a whole) work and how to draw them.

I'm very grateful that people who do Art for a long time already, share and make Tutorials to follow. It's alot easier for me when i have real time visual explanation, so DLAS's Video's really helped me alot.

Besides those Videos, Kiera gave me alot of help too. She would give me tips if my Anatomy was off, help me fixing it via voice chat or messaging and overall just helped me understand Art to the extent that i then started to do it more regularly and frequently.

- - - ☆

Now, after this Yapfest, how about we take a deep dive into my Art?

This will be the longest part, but i do have alot to share actually....

Let's start with May !

I don't have any visuals here, so i will keep this brief.

In May was the first time i actually tried learning how to draw. I did start with Hands first. Why you may ask? Because i wanted to tackle one of the presumably worst things to draw. I did a basic fanned out Hand for a few times before i started drawing Hands around things. I felt comfortable very fast with how i drew Hands back then. And that was my May more or less.

June !

Let's get a nice Picture of June out, because June is the Month i started to learn Human Anatomy. It sucked.

I tried learning Human Anatomy after i felt confident enough with hands. I experimented around a bit, tried drawing either masculine or feminine body Types, but i did struggle with both. In the end, i tried settling for more androgenous Body Types. Those were alot easier for me, and Kiera did tell me that they can be easy to work with, since i can basically "shape them like i want". So i went with it.

Pretty much my June was occupied with learning to draw a whole Human Body.

July !

In July i made alot of Progress i think, this was my Prime time for learning how Bodies work. I took Ideas from other people i've interacted with, tried a DTIYS (Do this in your Style), created a small sketch page, participated in Rimlaine Week and also started to do Digital Art!

Now, starting Digital Art was hard, it still is for me after roughly 6 months. My missfortune was, i had no pen for my Tablet. I needed to learn how to Finger Draw. It was really taxing and unforgiving on my Hand, but i still pushed through it and gave my best. I didn't wanted to stop with Digital Art just because i had no pen.

Eventually, at some point (actually 2 points, one later though) I had a pen that worked, though it broke, both of them did. So i just stayed with Finger Art.

It honestly feels more natural for me to use my Finger by now and i think i actually want to stay drawing with my Finger for now. Unless i actually get a pen that doesn't break imidiatly.

August !

Short things for August: I had an Artblock. I managed to find 1 whole picture for August.

I can't really say anything more here i fear.

September !

September.... I tried alot of new things in September! Brushes, bigger Canvases, even rendering (not visually included)

September was a nice month. I made alot of progress, pushed my comfort zones and met ALOT of great Artist's!

I tried alot of new things. Posing, shitpost doodles, multiple people, character sheets, the Nasty Dog trend (i had fun doing that) and also tried to participate in dazai hurt/comfort week, i couldn't finish it due to personal reasons.

In September, i joined a Soukoku Discord Server which is run by Kaez. I joined there with intent of talking about SKK and it developed into active talking and Art Streams nearly daily! I got ALOT and i mean ALOT of good advice and tips on how to draw from more experienced Artist's!

It truly helped me find my Artstyles and Tools i can use on my drawings.

I am very thankful that my girlfriend sended me the link to Kaez's post about this server, it has been alot of fun there and was very educational aswell!

October !

In October i still was drawing nearly every day and started to draw Characters from Kiera's and mine own Story! I also experimented with Artstyles and Chuuya's hair. His Hair was a mess, it still is, but drastically changed the way i draw his hair in that month.

I specifically also tried to stylize eyes, it failed mostly but i still tried regardless (Eyes and facial expression are hard to draw, i learned the hard way)

November !

November was the Month where i started drawing (and writing) my first AU! My 14 Year old's BunnySkk AU!

I am very proud of those beans and all i had in my brain were those 2. I did inflict pain and suffering and great Trauma on Skk, but fear not, they are well now... or are they?

Lastly, December !

Going strong with the last Month of the year, I struggled, greatly. I had alot of personal Issues coming up, but went through those with trying to do art. Art really helped me get my mind off things, due to me not having a single thought while drawing (My head is a blank slate while i draw)

But besides those struggles, i got cheered on to keep going and so i did. I delivered Art from a Ship i was first very reluctant to draw things in fear of people being well.... online people. But i eventually overcame myself and started drawing my second favourite ship... Kunichuuzai!! I absolutely love their dynamic and can't wait to get back into drawing them. I need them. Carnally.

- - - ☆

Now now, this is probably as long as it can get now, so i will try to keep myself short here. (Try is the keyword, i am a yapper at Heart)

First and foremost, i will be thanking Kiera @misterloong , for even getting and pushing me into Art. I don't think that i would have been able to accomplish what i am doing currently without your great help and Feedback!! And thank you for putting up with my sometimes breakdowns over Art, its hard and we both know that.

Secondly, i am thanking Kaez @xkaez for creating the Skk Server. I don't think i would have had such a fun time over the last months while doing art if it wasn't for sitting together in vc with everyone and equally loosing our heads over Art together. The Art struggle is real but worth it.

Third..ly? Third?.... Leaving it at that. I am thanking the VC Dwellers Soup @iwantmochisoup , Goat @thatghostinyourbog , Jema @msshinylemon , Salt @saltedbiscuiit and Killeia @nolongerforthetainted . I am thanking you all for sitting in vc together, planning things, working together on thing and just having a fun time together! I learned a shitton, and i mean a shitton from being together in VC, drawing, talking or just hanging out together. I really hope this never dies out, its really fun with you all!!

Fourthly.... Fourth....? I am thanking Rosie @anticidic , Cinny @ohhcinnybuns , Ari @nevertheblood, Brin @ediblepandas and Cryptid @cryptid-juzou for giving me alot of Ideas and talking about all the ideas you guys had. It's always fun to lurk at night in the chats and see good ideas spring in. It might be one of my favourite pastimes aswell to just lurk in :)

And Lastly, i thank everyone else who i forgot to mention, whether its Skk server people, random online people, my mom or literally anyone who sees my stuff. I thank you for being here and supporting my Art Journey in any way you can. It has been a fun half Year of doing Art and i am so hyped for creating a full year of Art this year!!

I hope everyone who wants to do Art, starts doing Art, same with Writing or whatever other creative hobbies there are. It will bring you fun and can potentially even help you express yourself more.

On to a new Year

- West

- - - ☆

Adding on:

2 more Chibi doodles for making it to the end :>

[kingqueensoobscene]

General headcanons for Blu!Scout x reader

Hello everyone!! I hope you had a happy new year!! I want to start a new series where I make headcanons for characters I haven’t written for yet to show you my interpretations of them. This is the first, please enjoy!

-I like to believe that unlike the Red Scout, he is much more experienced or gifted at killing. In the “Meet the Spy” video, which I know is Spy disguised as Scout, but Heavy bought it and he’s canonically a smart cookie, he says he has killed plenty of spies as if it was just like driving a car. And he is very cocky about it. When he has to clear a room, he doesn’t speak. His mind is focused for once; gauging the situation. You get whiplash from how quickly he can go from hyper focused to the annoying prick you know and love.

-He has saved your hide plenty of times. You’ve saved his too. Had a couple of enemy knives to your throat only for their heads to get blown off by Scout with his Babyface. 

“You alright, gorgeous?”  He would ask.

“Yeah,” he extended his hand down to you, “Thanks.” 

“On your feet, babe! Let’s go!” 

-He looks physically different from Scout in subtle ways. Their uniform is the same and they both wear dog tags, but Blu Scout has dirty blonde hair and green eyes. Blu started the hand wraps thing, which the Red Scout would copy because he thought it looked cool, because he would get his knuckles scraped as he has a habit of breaking his fall with his fist when sped across the field. The same long face as the Red Scout, just with bushier eyebrows. He also has freckles (I totally stole that from Lil Pootis). He also has a resting passive aggressive face, he looks unamused.

-He is diagnosed with OCD and experiences intrusive thoughts. It’s funny because he is good at staying calm in situations, but will think about them later on. But he likes to keep his worries to himself. He worries that something really bad will happen to you or himself one day; such as the respawn machine stops working and he won’t see you or Ma ever again. You have had to help him through a panic attack a few times, but he hates when you find him like that. He tries to get you out the door and lock himself in. He smokes to help his anxiety, but obviously, it makes his heart beat faster, making him worse and only helps temporarily. He will try and hide it from you, but you can taste it on his breath when you kiss. 

-He does not leave you without a kiss on the cheek or the lips. He’s more than fine with PDA too and he always holds your hand or if someone else needs you to get out of the way and he notices, he gently moves you by the waist. He gets cocky about it to the other mercenaries. 

“Yeah, yeah, I know you guys are jealous. I got the finest thing I’ve ever laid my eyes on and they chose me! Suck it!” 

Literally no one is paying attention.

-He takes note of everyone he has to work with. Though he can read and spell better than Red, he’s not great at writing, can’t get all of his ideas organized, so he draws what he notices about the others. For example, Spy keeps a picture of a young boy in his disguise kit and so, Scout drew Spy looking at the picture in the open kit in his left hand while the right dragged a smoke. They are amazing sketches that he never finishes. He only colors in hair or darker materials. He has so many sketches of you that he keeps in his desk drawer. If you compiled the amount of drawings he had of you, it would qualify as an anatomy and clothing study. 

-Wakes up super early. Can never sleep either due to his anxiety or his add. He will wake you up early whenever he does. Not usually when he is having an anxiety spell, he doesn’t like dragging you into that despite accidentally waking you up multiple times. He has a smoke, then makes you coffee, however you like, he will remember, wakes you up and makes sure you don’t fall back asleep. He will just keep pestering you until you stubbornly stay awake. He’s annoying and he knows it. If you don’t feel like talking, which is understandable since you’re up at 3:30, he will chat about the team or his life back in Boston.

-He has a thing for sweet treats. He always likes to take you out to the bakery just outside of the base and get you two a milkshake and some cake slices. The first time you two went, it was about 2 months into your relationship. You have not gone out of the Builder’s League since you got there, so Scout took you! It was a small little dinner that was rimmed with cherry red and a neon blue “OPEN” sign. He held the door for you.

“M’baby.” 

You seated yourself and grabbed the menus from the end of the table. You looked at all of the options, mostly the pastries. 

“I’m gonna get a malt. Ya want one, dollface?” 

“Sure, thank you!” You smiled.

The counter was a light pink, lined with a checkered, black-and-white belt wrapped around it. When he came back, he had a slice of pie, your pastry and one milkshake.

“I thought you got me one too?” You asked, puzzled.

“Yeah,” he handed you a bendable straw, “here ya go!” 

He put his red striped straw in the whipped cream and took a sip. 

“We’re sharing?” You laughed, flabbergasted.

“Isn’t that what couples do?” 

You chuckled. “You dork.”

[impromptu-sketches]

𝔹𝕃 𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟜 ✦ 𝕎ℝ𝔸ℙ-𝕌ℙ

happy new year!! ✨ °˖✧🥂✧˖° ✨

I enjoyed so much BL this year ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝ thank you to all of the authors, artists, & creators for your hard work and dedication. I promise every little detail you include we see and appreciate ♡♡

For all of the BL stories I’ve read this past year, I have a winner in 13 categories and 5 overall 2024 winners.

Enjoy!

.

.

✰ FUNNIEST

And the nominees are…

Punch Drunk Love (2023 winner)

Killer Crush (2022 winner)

Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi / The World's Greatest First Love: The Case of Ritsu Onodera

Lucky Paradise

Happy Crappy Life

And the winner is…

LUCKY PARADISE

I re-read this one this year and despite some emotional moments in the series, I laugh out loud every single chapter!! This one has ~layers~ to it, it hits so many different types of humor for me. Ho-in and Woojin are absolute clowns (bffs ♡) and Chunwoo is always so deadpan... I love them so much ٩( ᗒᗨᗕ )۶ Idc how many side chapters there are, I'll be reading them all ♡

.

✰ MOST INTRIGUING

And the nominees are…

Night Fragments

Gig of the Day

Liveta

Dawn of the Dragon

Scent and Sensibility

And the winner is…

LIVETA

Ahhhhhh ♡ I love Liveta ♡ Despite this one being ongoing since 2021 and being on hiatus a lot of this year, when it comes back -and honestly every single chapter- I'm pulled into this unique world all over again.

I'll definitely be re-reading this series before it ends. I feel like it's one of those where we don't register certain information the first time or understand the meaning of things, like the side characters, characters' history or traumas, context as to what happened when. I've already re-read it twice? three times? and I feel like there's more I missed! I love the complex characters, the inner & outer conflicts, I love the overall tone and balance of soft and dark scenes. This author can do it all!

We're on chapter 76 and I want to see so much more of their world and their stories. I can't wait to keep reading and I hope we still have a long way to go ♡

.

✰ BEST SEX SCENES

And the nominees are…

Coyote (2023 winner)

Honey Bear

4 Week Lovers

Pearl Boy

The Ghost's Nocturne

And the winner is…

HONEY BEAR

A very difficult choice... but this year specifically I was drooling over the spicy scenes in Honey Bear ʕ >ᴥ<ʔ

After that amazing author's note at the end of season 1, I knew. (If you haven't read the author's note, please do! These creators are hilarious, I love them so much ♡♡) They teased us a bit in the beginning and then fed us so well!! We got the BAKERY scene! And then they topped that ;) with the dom/sub scene - THE FREAKING BREATHE PLAY!!!! The hot springs scene... literally every single sex scene \(0_0)/

I love when the bottom is so horny, enthusiastic, and desperate for their (future) bf!! And what makes it even better is that they're so cute together and so sweet to each other ♡♡ I love them so much ♡♡

.

✰ FAVORITE FLUFF

And the nominees are…

Our Sunny Days

Boyfriends

To the Stars and Back

Sasaki and Miyano

Hirano and Kagiura

And the winner is…

SASASKI AND MIYANO

THE SLOW BURN IS KILLING ME!! I really just melt reading about these two ♡ they're so soft and sweet to each other ♡ I'm obsessed ♡

I want to see them continue to grow on their own and together, I want to see them bond over more BL (specifially I want Sasaki fudanshi moments haha), I want to see more of them happy and in love, and seeing each other's family & friends. I want them to go on a double date with Hirano and Kagiura hahaha ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و

.

✰ FAVORITE BOTTOM

And the nominees are…

Park Seon-Woo | Punch Drunk Love (2023 winner)

Victor Luna | Liveta (2021 winner)

Shin | Shutline

Yeomin | Gig of the Day

Dohu | Between the Lines

And the winner is…

YEOMIN | GIG OF THE DAY

Yeomin!! Oh my god, he's so cute!!

The thing I love about Yeomin is that his character is set up as a stereotypical bottom we see often where he's poor, in debt, has no family/the family he does have is awful and takes advantage of him, and he must work hard just to survive. But unlike other characters, Yeomin is outgoing, cheerful, and surprisingly positive. Even after scary moments, he bounces back pretty fast. We see him smiling a lot with friends, and of course, with Tae-seo.

One of my favorite parts in the beginning of the story that made me fall for this little cutie was when Tae-seo took him out to eat for the first time and Yeomin talked his ear off about school, and other random things in his life (,,>﹏<,,) he's so precious we must protect him (งᓀ‸ᓂ)ง Tae-seo, you better step up and be nice. (I trust this author to do him right ♡)

.

✰ FAVORITE TOP

And the nominees are…

Juwon | High Clear

Minwoo | Topsy Turvy

Dooshik | Pearl Boy

Kahyeok | Killer Crush

Jae-hee | 4 Week Lovers

And the winner is…

DOOSHIK | PEARL BOY

I love Dooshik so much ♡ always have, always will. This year he's been suffering... as have I while reading Pearl Boy... but I hope he gets his happy ending ♡

I want to see him carefree dancing in the club again ♡ I want to see him being silly and dorky and singing in the car with Jooha ♡ I want to see him being submissive (haha, just me? I liked seeing him cry tho)

The way this man hasn't wavered one bit and tried to be so strong for Jooha ♡o(╥﹏╥)o♡ he deserves all of the happiness.

.

✰ FAVORITE COUPLE

And the nominees are…

Dooshik & Jooha | Pearl Boy (2021, 2022, & 2023 winner)

Skylar & Cirrus | Lost in the Cloud

Sasaki & Miyano | Sasaki and Miyano

Taeman & Kahyeok | Killer Crush

Suyong & Jaehyun | Topsy Turvy

And the winner is…

DOOSHIK & JOOHA | PEARL BOY

4th year in a row ♡♡ I JUST LOVE THEM YOUR HONOR!!!

。゜゜(´Ｏ`) ゜゜。I love them both so much - as individual characters and especially together ♡♡ The way they've both had their own and intertwined character development that continues even now, the way they're so ride-or-die serious about each other but also silly stupid in love. They really saw each other at their lowest rock-bottom moment in life and said... 'yup, he's mine'

I don't know how much longer we have left of their story but I hope we get to see them going about their new life together ♡♡

.

✰ FAVORITE SIDE COUPLE

And the nominees are…

Sys & Randolph | King's Maker: Triple Crown

Ichikawa & Kikuchihara | Twilight Out of Focus

Minwoo & Norman | Topsy Turvy

Seolho & Hyunshik/boss | Killer Crush

Mi-Rye & Kyungbin | Merry Marbling

And the winner is…

MI-RYE & KYUNBIN | MERRY MARBLING

I don't even know where to start with these two... this author really fleshes out their characters and these two are no exception. It's so interesting to see them from their first interactions together up until now. They're so high school shy silly cute!! The time when Mi-Rye secretly followed Kyungbin to his away practice camp thing (˃ ▿ ˂) Mi-Rye is a fool for him HAHA

One thing I'm dying to know even though we may never find out... is who's top and who's the bottom!! I can't figure these two out. If it was up to me, I would definitely make them vers, pretty equally. That's how I see them right now anyway.

Looking forward to reading more of their story ♡♡

.

✰ COUPLE I MOST WANT TO BE IN A THROUPLE WITH

And the nominees are…

Karlyle & Ash | Define the Relationship (2023 winner)

Ye-gyum & Jooin | Lovesick Dog

Taeman & Kahyeok | Killer Crush

Deisel & Ein | Wolf in the House: Nightfall

Joowon & Aiden | Bend over Backwards

And the winner is…

YE-GYUM & JOOIN | LOVESICK DOG

Them ゜・。。・゜゜・。。・゜♡

First, they're so cute and domestic ♡♡ can't beat being lazy at home together. Another couple who are so sweet to each other and care about each other so much ♡♡

Second, the switch vibes are immaculate. They don't actually switch :/ sadly, because I know this author has done that in their past work, but there are side chapters coming out! So maybe there's hope?

Regardless, I've loved these two from the beginning and I would be so happy in this relationship ♡

.

✰ FAVORITE MAIN CHARACTER

And the nominees are…

Taeman | Killers Crush (2023 winner)

Park Seon-Woo | Punch Drunk Love

Shin | Shutline

Juwon | High Clear

Yeomin | Gig of the Day

And the winner is…

SHIN | SHUTLINE

I love all of these characters so much (>ω<) but Shin... he just cracks me up. Tough-guy mechanic, smarter than he looks, vers king, self-proclaimed lowlife, and in too deep... I mean, he recognized Jake from his -footsteps- alone. He's so funny without even trying. And these overalls (●//▽//●) finally we get to see him in sexy overalls!!

I love Shin's smile ♡ I hope we get to see more of him smiling ♡

.

✰ FAVORITE SIDE CHARACTER

And the nominees are…

Sys | King's Maker: Triple Crown (2023 winner)

Seolho | Killer Crush

Woojin | Lucky Paradise

"the kid" | Our Sunny Days

Kyungbin | Merry Marbling

And the winner is…

SYS | KING'S MAKER: TRIPLE CROWN

I didn't even read any of Kings Maker this year (/ω＼) (I'm waiting for the mature version to be complete and then I plan to re-read the entire series) but Sys is such an icon ♡ I haven't read any of season 3 yet but I'm so freaking excited!!!! I want to see him and Randolph, I want to see more of him and his two guards ♡♡ and just Sys being his badass fashionable self ♡♡♡

.

✰ FAVORITE BOY

And the nominees are…

Juwon | High Clear (2023 winner)

Sasaki | Sasaki and Miyano

Cirrus | Lost in the Cloud

Yeomin | Gig of the Day

Minwoo | Topsy Turvy

And the winner is…

CIRRUS | LOST IN THE CLOUD

Oh my god Cirrus... I don't know what to say. Honestly, I love how messy this boy is. I love his regular high schooler side, his flirty side, when he was begging for Skylar's attention and was pouty when he didn't get it. I love his silly and innocent side. I love his dark side and his anger. I love everything about him ♡♡

This poor boy has gone through so much. He really went through hell as a child and -then- had to deal with psychological warfare in his own home for years :( I want to see him living on his own with Candy (his dog) again. I want to see him happy and silly with Skylar ♡♡

Despite everything lol I think they're so good for each other.

.

✰ FAVORITE TOXIC BL

And the nominees are…

Twittering Birds Never Fly (2023 winner)

Lost in the Cloud

Boss Bitch Baby

Gig of the Day

Jinx

And the winner is…

GIG OF THE DAY

Yay!! Even though Gig of the Day doesn't have a very unique plot, I loved this one from the very first chapter!! It felt refreshing, I think because of Yeomin's character but also because of the overall tone.

When I first started it, I thought that it was going in a slightly different direction... I thought Tae-seo would basically be one of those 'I'm an asshole to everyone but you' characters and Yeomin wouldn't know about his other side as a director (or as an asshole lol) until much later. I thought Tae-seo would fall for him and get swept up in his feelings - even if he didn't realize them yet - and not be able to treat him poorly. Like, he would want to because that's typically what he does, but he would just give in to whatever Yeomin wanted. I got that vibe (just like Yeomin lol) when he stayed the night, took him out for food, etc. in the beginning. But despite doing those things that could be seen as caring, he didn't treat Yeomin the best... haha (although he was honest & upfront about what he wanted so it wasn't completely awful).

Even though it didn't go like how I was imagining, I trust this author with the redemption arc and turning him into a simp (ㅅ´ ˘ `) we're seeing glimpses of that already haha I love it. Plus, I LOVE how Tae-seo is always there at the right moment for Yeomin and is his protector. Idc about practicality, I love all of those scenes.

.

✰ SUING FOR EMOTIONAL DAMAGE

And the winner is…

PEARL BOY

... again. I'll stop choosing Pearl Boy when it stops giving me anxiety!! Even though I didn't sob like last year, I'm always on edge reading this one because when they're happy I think something bad is coming and we're already on the side chapters so I don't know how much longer we have until the end! One chapter? Thirty?? They're still crying it can't end yet!! (つ﹏⊂)

Some lucky bastards will discover this a year or two from now and have a whole completed work to enjoy while we suffered and stressed since 2021!!

Worth it tho ♡♡♡

.

✰ FAVORITE NEW BL

And the winner is…

A FIRST OF SUMMERS

Oh my god, y'all, I just started this like last month and it's so freaking cute (●//▽//●)

The art is amazing & original, these two are adorable!! An age gap where they both question the age gap?? Unheard of. Younger top x older bottom, younger guitar teacher x older guitar student ♡♡♡ fluffy & smutty (˵ᵕ̴᷄ ˶̫ ˶ᵕ̴᷅˵) my heart is so full ♡♡

.

✰ FAVORITE ONGOING BL

And the winner is…

TOPSY-TURVY

AHHHHHHHHH!!!! Okay, if you're not reading Topsy-Turvy or you tried it and you didn't like it in the first few chapters, I'd give it another try if I were you!!!

Starting this, I didn't take it too seriously and thought it was just going to be another little goofy college story. BUT NO. It's a glorious mess of love triangles that I can't get enough of!!! I've already read it twice!!

First, the main couple is FREAKING ADORABLE!!! They're hilarious frenemies? in the beginning and then super sweet ♡♡ switch energy but don't switch (yet. I swear the author is teasing us) I love their dynamic so much ♡♡

One love triangle turns into another ~ it's driving me crazy!!! I ship Minwoo & Norman but I don't know if they're endgame (☍﹏⁰)｡ Norman's friend/fwb gives off creepy vibes to me (not in a good way) and now this new guy from the past just showed up in season 3!?! :/

I'm open to the author changing my mind. Whatever they give us I'm thankful for ♡♡ We're getting at least 50 more chapters from here (the korean is at ch. 152 and ongoing, we're currently at ch. 103). I'm happy we still have a long way to go (≧◡≦)

I've had so much fun reading this one so far!! ♡♡♡

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✰ FAVORITE BL THAT ENDED THIS YEAR

And the winner is…

UNDER THE GREEN LIGHT

I'm sad to see this one end, but it was time for them to get their happy ending ♡ Under the Green Light has been consistently amazing since the very beginning and I've had such a great time reading it over the years.

The ending was amazing in my opinion ♡ I would have liked to see a bit more of them happy & living together & obsessed with each other... but that's how I always feel lol

The REVEAL at the end... got me so emotional and when I inevitably re-read it again, it'll make the story even better ♡♡

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✰ FAVORITE BL OF 2024

And the winner is…

CHERRY MAGIC! THIRTY YEARS OF VIRGINITY CAN MAKE YOU A WIZARD?!

I can't stop looking at this volume 11 cover art (⊃//˶̫ //⊂)

Okay, I've loved Cherry Magic for a few years now but this year we got three volumes of them being newlyweds & living their happy life together ♡♡♡

We got the anime series!!! (loved it!!)

And we got the thai live action series (I'm currently watching and will be posting my thoughts later)

♡:.。ღ˘◡˘ற.。.:♡

Watching their story in all of these adaptations just makes me love them more ♡♡ and honestly makes me want to re-read the manga again. We get so many more small insights and moments in the original that I want to see again... one of my favorites is Kurosawa remembering that he wrote 30 songs about Adachi before they got together when he was crushing on him HAHAHA (✿>ꇴ<) omg I will never get over that.

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Thank you for reading!