#it also involved a lot of sleeping
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Pregnancy weekend plans is like
*wake up* -> *eat* -> *mildly exercise* ->*go back to sleep* -> *wake up* -> *eat* -> *mildly exercise* -> *go back to sleep*
#it never ends#not that I had any grand weekend plans pre pregnancy#it also involved a lot of sleeping#but good LORD#HOW TIRED CAN ONE PERSON BE#and when I’m not working I’m sleeping#still mildly get shit done tho#my husband makes me feel better about it 😅#‘you are growing a baby full-time’#that always makes me feel a little better 🥰#it’s like#I am awake for small periods at a time#whatever tasks I have I must knock out before the next sleep befalls me😂😂#it ain’t much but it’s honest work#anyway#lil rambles#lil is pregnant#baby lil#lil is sleepy#it’s a lil thing
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Still getting used to drawing them but I'm happy with how this turned out so I will post it :)
#last night while i was trying to sleep i closed my eyes and saw blitz with hyper realistic bloodshot eyes and then i woke up nauseous#its the way theyre the only thing on my mind rn#i can and totally would make analysis's.s..'s on each and every scene involving these two#stolitz duet soon how we feeling im feeling hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#im hhhhhhhhhhh#im also working on such a normal thing involving blitz did you know blitz is my favorite character i love him and hate him a lot so much#i really love the idea of blitz being clingy after him and stolas actually make things official btw#also obsessed with blitz climbing stolas all the time like a bug or perhaps a lizard#stolitz.......................... <3.. uhghghhh..#just like 21-ish days till full moon release date reveal hahahahahahahaha#nillyart#nillyfanart#helluva boss#blitzø#blitz#stolas#stolas goetia#stolitz#stolas x blitz#hellaverse
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Thinking today about Boothill falling first, but Dan Heng falling harder.
Like I think of Boothill as being pretty self-aware, so he knew it almost immediately. He pointed his gun at Dan Heng and the guy didn't flinch didn't hesitate didn't even get scared just stood there with his arms crossed and casually insulted Boothill like he couldn't have made the furniture of the Express an even brighter red with a single squeeze of his trigger finger. Boothill knew he was doomed before they even defeated Sunday, and it only got worse and worse, the longer they sat at that bar in the Reverie together. ♡
Meanwhile Dan Heng was raised in a prison cell with zero say over anything. He was considered a criminal and he was being punished. There wasn't exactly anyone encouraging his emotional intelligence. It didn't matter what he wanted, so thinking about his own wants/needs/feelings is something that just like. Doesn't occur to Dan Heng.
Like he IS slowly but surely figuring it out, and he still acts on stuff of course. He and Boothill share that sort of ruthless straightforwardness where they can see action -> result. Dan Heng knows that he doesn't want anything to happen to the Crew, so he guards them viciously. Action (guard person) -> result (person stays alive). But I think if you asked him, he'd have a hard time putting his feelings for them into words, "they're once-in-a-lifetime companions" is about as deep as you're going to get from him haha
Anyway, all this to say, I think that even if he already knew he liked Boothill romantically, when Dan Heng- who guards his chosen little flock like a herding breed or maybe a sheepdog with a coyote collar- sees Boothill do something protective, like literally take a bullet for March 7th
("It's fine, it ain't gonna hurt me near as bad as it woulda hurt you, missy. It's just another dent, quit yer fussin'.")
that is when it suddenly hits him like a brick that oh, oh no, he loves him.
#Boothill: Loves Dan Heng and knows it but also knows vengeance is his top priority rn#will not really pursue and especially won't confess but won't lie if asked and will still act overly affectionate-#-bc he doesn't want Dan Heng to think he *doesn't* like him.#but Boothill knows how to persevere and pursue and how hunting involves lying in wait#he'll make it happen eventually now's just not the time#meanwhile Dan Heng: wow I sure feel mopey & irritable every time Boothill leaves wonder what that is oh well *rolls over and goes to sleep*#I love them NSMXIKXMDLD#LOOK Dan Heng is extremely intelligent and quick-witted and sharp and has a lot of book smarts#so that has to be balanced out with some dumbassery somewhere!!!#honkai star rail#hsr#henghill#bootheng#honkai star rail boothill#honkai star rail dan heng#hsr boothill#hsr dan heng#boothill#dan heng#march 7th
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If anyone ever wants to live out that romance trope where the love interest dramatically goes to comfort someone during a storm while they’re afraid please let me know as it has been storming for ten minutes and i have been crying for six of them
#wlw#wlw mood#sapphic#sapphism#lesbian#ughhhh#i hate this#i hate this a LOT#i was anxious all day yesterday in anticipation#then couldn’t sleep waiting for it#and now it’s HERE and it’s awful#i normally do a lot better but there are a lot of factors involved this time#promise im okay btw!!#a few tears (a lot of tears😓) but i’ll get through it lol#also sorry for all my storm posting lately#there’s been a lot lately and we don’t usually have to deal with them this early in the year#so im a bit more antsy about it than normal#im gay and i like sleeping
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iron / heart
Part of LoL Esports Elemental Series.
#lolelements#lol esports#t1 faker#t1 oner#t1 zeus#t1 gumayusi#t1 keria#skt bang#skt wolf#skt bengi#skt kkoma#warning: MAJOR yapping incoming below#thinking about still here.mp3 and 'gripping with my cold hands the shapes i used to take'#'it could all end here with the strange daylight caught in our eyes'#'my shadow stretching out through all the things i left behind'#opening ceremony+t1 has everything they need to put me on a stretcher to ER#images from lol esports flickr (2016 worlds either finals or semis i goofed and forgot)#(and msi 2024 brackets features and worlds 2024 semis features)#there is a universe where i collected more pics and put a bit more thought into which word should go to who#but that universe also involves me doing this at a time that is not 5am#this is my last one probably twas lots of fun but new things on the horizon for me#this post is scheduled to post on finals day but just know that i am awake and shitting my pants over worlds finals#then recovery period and then im shifting into arcane mode#being completely deranged is a full time commitment never let anyone tell you otherwise#lil pat on the back for myself for successfully posting one per day til finals EVEN if they were sorta mediocre or dupes hahaha#special thanks to t1 for making it to semis because if they didn't there's a chance i would have lost steam LMAO#work school and the physical need for sleep work hard#but the esports demons in my brain work harder
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Hey! Could you please do some headcannons of cuddling with Jay from descendants?
Thank you!
oh fuck yes baby boy NEEDS a snuggle so fuckin bad. Jay is SO motherfucking - his full name is Janasheen Lagmani Mufti btw (successor, born at nightfall, one who gives council or legal advice) - Jay is SO motherfuckin touch starved that he'll get injured on purpose just so he can feel you touch him up. After a while you start to catch onto this because you don't have the heart to tell him he's not quite as slick as he thinks he is. So OBVIOUSLY I have a medieval game OBVIOUSLY I have a jousting game the only way you're gonna get him to turn into your snuggly lil bunbun (yes he does insist you call him that after you say it once as a joke and he loses his mind) is to make him think YOU'RE really the one who needs cuddles. like of course you're feeling kinda sad and tired from all your schoolwork so of COURSE you need a big strong tough cool guy star of the tourney team to make you feel all safe and cozy. obviously it's TOTALLY for your benefit. not at all because Jay was not hugged once as a child! that's hilarious and true and totally not the reason at all! I just washed my hands that's why they're wet! no other reason!
but yeah once you actually start cuddling with him it's going to take approximately less that six seconds for him to become a total and complete velcro boyfriend. it takes longer to watch any vine in existance than it does for Jay to latch onto you like a small baby bird. he did not know that touchy feely stuff could be so... nice. especially when it's with you. he tried giving Carlos and Evie and Mal bear hugs between classes when he's away from you and it was good, but it wasn't the same. Maybe it's because Carlos still thinks he's going to get suplexed whenever Jay grabs him like that or maybe it's because Mal keeps asking if he huffed her spraypaint and that's why he's so huggy out of nowhere (Evie doesn't mind too much as long as he doesn't wrinkle her outfits or mess with her hair and makeup. she actually approves of you two and likes that you're bringing out Jay's more affectionate side. she makes a mental note to give you the friends and family discount on any future designs you order from her.) but shortly after that first time you snuggled up with Jay and had him tell you all about the video games he's been playing and about tourney practice he's full on addicted to your touch and cuddles. Coach sometimes has to pull you off your extra curriculars to give Jay hugs and kisses during practice when he cops an attitude or gets too rowdy. you're known as the Jay whisperer immediately and believe me the nickname sticks. Carlos asks what the hype is once and you give him head scratches and he understands.
#descendants#descendants x reader#descendants drabbles#jay descendants#jay x reader#jay drabbles#jay descendants x reader#janasheen “jay” lagmani mufti#he's such a lil goofball#by the way!!!!! i'm like... what is it 1/4th of the way done with my first book?????? roughly??????#l-l-l-l-losing it! *airhorn noises*#/pos#so anyway yeah I've also been drawing more which is really good bc it's been fun again#been drawing a lot of marge simpson#because of my ~late night insomnia!~#I wish there was a way for me to sleep before 2am that doesn't involve playing a million levels of online solitaire#(which I still don't know how to play) watching family guy and the simpsons and terrorizing bots on janitor but hey#if it works it works#oh and law and order svu#been watching that until like 1am or something#i got jumpscared by a murderer who was WAY too much like my dad and his mother /neg#I know the woman who played her MUST have a narcissist in her life because it was CHILLING#i think it was in season 4 or 5 but the episode title is home#which I remember bc I was thinking “ironic that this hits too close to HOME lol”#tee hee!
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thinking about pmd2 hero being weird about the meals at the guild at first. they're so used to having to eat small and rationing food because food was limited with it only being able to appear in dungeons in the future and those were always dangerous to traverse, especially as a human. it became second nature to them so it affects them even after losing their memories. it's just the natural way of things.
partner and chimecho take note that hero is skinnier and smaller than pokemon of their species usually are (which is especially apparent with munchlax) and that they seem to leave a big portion of their dinner behind. they try to encourage them to eat more, with partner reassuring them that it's okay and chimecho trying out different meals in case it's a diet restriction. seeing that it's okay, hero slowly starts to eat more and more off their plate until they able to finish it off. they become a healthy weight and have more energy, and partner chimecho are both relieved and also incredibly proud of them.
#bwark#also thinking about chatot taking food away as a punishment and how this could affect hero#i don't want to use this idea to demonize chatot but rather as part of some character development for him#partner can live one night without food without it bothering them much but it scares hero#thankfully not to the point where they're backtracking but it drives a wedge between them and chatot#ive always said that chatot sacrificing himself and calling h/p their precious recruits or smth like that was his way of apologizing for#that incident because he has the emotional vulnerability of a steel plated brick wall#so maybe here it shows his progression from that incident with him being more involved in taking care of manaphy than he already does in#canon. grandpappy chatot..........#ok im going back to sleep now i love you pmd i love you characters gaining weight as a sign of healing#gonna actually use this whole idea for asta (my hero) i love it a lot
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can i pwease get jane comforting cathy 🥺🥺
i think late night chats when you can't sleep / get too absorbed in work can be very soothing for the soul
#in part this is because i wanted to give jane a chance to rest between all the asks#also but i think they would be friends. glasses chill parallel play sorta thingy at night. jane's mug says royalTEA btw bc puns#remembering how a lot of cathy angst while i was active in fandom media involved workaholic Writing#and a restless fear of having to research and document in case they all got rewritten out of history again#hence also the not sleeping and cathy parr hours thing. ah. i'm having cathy parr hours now. but regardless.#hope all of you are having time to rest. take break between locking in and getting things done. i hope the stress dissipates.#this is as much for me as anyone reading; i suppose. take care of yourselves
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....
#au where barok does end up finding klints letter after genshin dies#goes thru a depression spiral where he gives up being a prosecutor because of his lose in faith#bUT does end up knowing about iris and in make sure she doesnt end up involved in the public blacklash against his brother#moves to japan (he found out about mikotobas original plan of taking iris with him)#what im saying is#10 years later english college major ryunosuke keeps running into this scary ass english man#in restaurants where he seems to drink his own weight in alcohol#and yeah he does sleep with him cause hes just as hot as he is scary#also in the back of his mind hes not 100% sure that barok ISNT a ghost of a man who was murdered in japan#hes just so pale and only seems to come out at night#a lot of thots about barok actually handing iris over to herlock and miktoba to do the majority of the raising because hes so so depressed#those first few yesrs#whivh means 2 things#mikotoba bringing herlock to Japan and essatially doing the 'meet ur new mom susato'#and susato getting to carry baby iris in one of those baby backpacks while she watches herlock eat dirt that was stuck on her shoe#and deducing her exact errand route
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Hello :D will be posting some doodles later, but I wanted to announce a couple things before I forget.
I'll be opening my ask box this week for ask-box-trick-or-treat doodles! I saw some people doing this last year and it looked fun so I wanted to give it a try :D if you have a costume you want to show off I can try and doodle it! (or I can draw whatever's in your pfp/icon if you'd rather)
I'm also considering doing these doodles live with Magma; I do have classes on Halloween, so it would have to be pretty late in the day (~7:30/8:00 CDT), but if there's a couple people that would be interested in joining then I might be open to hosting that for the night! It will likely be open for a long time and will be pretty casual (no mic) so I'm interested to see if that's something y'all would like to do :)
Either way, my ask box will be open soon after this post! Happy (early) Halloween :D 🎃🎃
Update: to be clear, I'm not exactly taking requests per se... I am just drawing profile pictures or costumes worn by actual people. And while it goes without saying I'm sure, I reserve the right to deny any trick or treat request for any reason; these are free and just for fun :)
#you can kinda treat this like doodle requests but i wont be doing anything as involved as i normally do for requests#i have a plane to catch the day after halloween and i plan to sleep the entire way so i will be staying up late regardless haha#but a magma can run without the host so it seems like there's a lot less pressure there than on a livestream#I'm just worried about having to step away for any reason BUT it'd also be fun to draw with everyone#so it seems like the best way to go!#plus people will be able to come and go as they please a little easier#anyway just thinking thoughts this is all new to me haha
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#ALL POWER DEMANDS PAIN AND SACRIFICE: musings.#okay but this made me laugh so hard just because of how much it reminds me of misao JSJSJ LOL because she has had like casual 'flings'-#with people and is an addictive personality as i've talked about here once which includes her being a love junkie + getting into-#relationships with people because she is in love with the IDEA of being in love though falling in love with someone can't just happen-#like magic as it involves a bunch of hormones and stuff but misao kind of somewhat hopes that this person of interest to her will somehow-#complete her life anyhow which... yeah can definitely raise a few problems as people with a love addiction often attract love-#avoidant people because both of these types of people generally have a fear of being abandoned and controlled.#but whenever it comes to love-avoidant individual's they're also emotionally unavailable so 😬#it's unfortunately kinddd of a recipe for an unhealthy relationship that could very well lead to the both of them being in a bad place-#once they break up as misao as a love addict is constantly seeking out new love in particular as a lot of excitement and good feelings-#come with this particular type of love in particular. so yeahhh - i know that this may be a bit of a weird picture to do a meta to but-#SHHH lol i just thought it could possibly relate to her more long-term relationships that she's had with people as misao-#tends to avoid feelings of vulnerability with people as you may all know and so this leads to both her + the other person not really-#knowing what they are BC they haven't really established that deeper connection even though they've been together for a while.#not to say that i'm trying to blame misao for having problems with opening up or anything like that but she has a very disorganized-#attachment style i think and that leads to her often doing this continuous 'push and pull' thing in her romantic/sexual ships#where one moment she will want to be attached to the hip to them but the next she will be cold and distant from them.#so yeahhh. misao is honestly kind of like what i've said barton is before: a cake inside of a cake because i feel like she's got sides of-#herself that she doesn't even know about because she's been scared of being fully emotionally vulnerable with someone for a while now sadly#NO SLEEP OF THE INNOCENT. NOT FOR YOU: character study.
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should i sleep for a hundred million years or purposefully stop sleeping just to see what happens
#i have slept 2 hours and haven’t been able to fall asleep again for like 3 hours and i was really tired and mad abt it but now i am not#tired and not mad abt it so maybe the path i should be taking is to stop sleeping. sleeping a lot gives me little energy and i’ve been#having trouble sleeping anyway so maybe i should use this to my advantage and run my little sleep deprivation experiment that i was#originally planning to do a couple years back but then got sooo eepy sleepy that i didn’t really get far. but maybe that’s bc i wanted to#go 72 hours straight w/o sleep so i could record my response to it. i should be more subtle i think. maybe only a few hours a night#and more 30 hour waking periods. do not listen to a single thing i say ever i’m an unreliable narrator btw. i think i could trigger smth#fun to happen i:m a good age for sleep deprivation to do something fun and interesting to me and i want to play god#but i’d get kinda sad being awake all the time bc sleeping is like my number one coping mechanism. then again the pain of losing#that on top of the physical and mental consequences of sleep deprivation would be like so cool. it would pain me so much#but i find that compelling. do not listen to a single word i say i will realize this is dumb later but rn i do kinda want to think abt#running my little experiments and trying to ruin myself further. i’m such a good thing to think abt experimenting on bc i’m so affected#by things i just wish i had more force of will Does anyone want to kidnap me and keep me awake for 72 hours (i’m thinking electrocution#will be involved) and keep notes i fear i’d give up and i wouldn’t keep good enough track of things which would be so sad#obvi it would be unethical but i’m cool w that. i would also want it all on camera for review purposes. hmm i’m digging this idea. 72 hours#is not very long and i doubt there would be lasting consequences so it seems like a good idea. however i’d want to do this when i have#things to keep me busy and restricted access to places to sleep. okay i must think on this further pay no mind to what i say unless u have#suggestions like how to keep yourself from giving in bc i always have difficulty w that one
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just took an adhd assessment and... i honestly dont see how this will be sufficient for giving me a diagnosis? i just had to take two tests, one where i had to hit the space bar when hearing a high pitch after a low pitch (as opposed to after *just* hearing the high pitch), and one where a bunch of letters flashed on the screen and i had to hit the space bar when any of them except for x popped up and like... i don't see how this has anything to do with any of the issues i actually experience in my life due to my probable adhd???? like ok i guess it has something to do with focus? which is a part of the whole adhd thing but not all of it? i did take a (very brief) adhd questionnaire as one of my intake forms before seeing this psych for the first time but that wasn't part of the assessment itself but even that (which was only like. 15 questions? maybe?) seemed like it had more to do with how i experience adhd
#idk man im not a psychiatrist or neurologist or whatever so maybe this is super evidence-based and works really well#though a quick google of what adult adhd assessments are supposed to be like seems to suggest that theyre usually way more involved#and even if the tests i did are a part of it theres usually a lot more bits#such as like. idk a LONGER self-assessment questionnaire where you can actually answer questions on how adhd symptoms impact your life?#shrugs#anyway i fucked up on the letters one a bunch so hopefully thats sufficient for whatever these things are supposed to test#also i havent got any communication whatsoever on when my results will come back or anything so thats great#ughhh#well at least its telemed so i got to do it in my jammies cozy in bed and i can just go back to sleep now#life of bea#adhd
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I love how my unintentional excuse as to why Alestair and Idan never have to go to work is because they ran away and basically quit without notice.
#this has always been a part of the story though as the first ever thing I wrote with Alestair involved what happened#but Idan stops working there because of that#Mara's job pays a LOT and is hire based so she can do whatever#Vilissa is like the only character that has to regularly work LMAO#but also Vi wouldn't let Alestair get a job when they were dating#as for Fae she's a sex worker so she does it whenever#Fritz and Jer are employed but they don't even get heavily involved in helping until Love and that is explained away (thanks Vi)#as for other stoires#the children in Sunshine are too young to work#the parents do work and leave regularly but aren't really heavily involved#and the adults just take care of themselves with the stuff they have or work if they want (like Norie)#there is no currently running school in the castle (but there used to be)#Barle is a con artist so he would sell junk he fixed up but after getting kidnapped by Shika he doesn't really worry about that anymore#Shika and Fria have disposable income as they are just looking for Barle (Shika the princess and Fria a royal bodyguard)#and Charlie is a bounty hunter so he has freelance (and later a courier)#Flick and Millie are child and Nick is jobless and he's a bird currently so he just needs to eat a little#Ebers is a fortune teller so she does that whenever#also since Millie doesn't care about school she skips out after Flick shows up#And Flick is basically kidnapped so she doesn't got to school as she can't even go there#Seth is homeless and gets things out of making deals with others which he sometimes sell expensive items to get money#Lia and Giles leave behind their lives to adventure but were previously self employed (small businesses)#Myrtle is a Princess so she has that responsibility and disposable income#Sylas is a hunter but there isn't really any work to be done if most of the kingdom is under a sleeping spell#Nym uses the stuff that Elysa left behind in death but he was a Farmer back home not that he can get back home#Pokey runs the train station and the venue but he also isn't getting a lot of business from the inner kingdom#that's just the main stories lolll#every story has some kinda excuse about not working while the story happens
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typo or was ruv the one who gave birth?
yes in my headcanon Ruv was the one who had Rasazy :)
#sarv gave birth to sel (semi-planned) ruv gave birth to ras (unplanned- they only realized just a few months before her birth)#theres magical sex change fuckery for it to be possible as i view them t4t (im also fond of the idea of one or the other having both but#the idea of them both having the kids separately gives room for a lot of Scenarios)#having interest in media that involves magic makes explanations for certain headcanons so much easier. anything is possible. anything#sarv can manifest a womb for herself ifshe wanted to. she can get her man pregnat if she wanted to (nonmagic related she can do that already#rambling in tags my bad fam#i literally just woke up i’m gonna answer this then go straight back to sleep#ask#peculiarnation4u
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girl help I'm having ideas above my ability-to-kill-my-darlings level
#trying to get back on this time zone so i've been lying in bed but not falling asleep for long enough#that my brain just started being like. hey what if...ok but WHAT IF#picking up the pace with every rotation#specifically about starlightverse and let's just say#if I did this it would involve changing a lot of elements that I really like#(book 1 would stay the same. it's like for the rest of the series arc. specifically about shuffling some focal characters)#let's just say for a premise involving mind powers I have not been using that to its full advantage in terms of the...narration ig#but anyway if this might be the coolest idea I've ever ever had#so maybe...I'm going to have to get a little cold-blooded#my brain is so completely fried I just gave up on sleeping and filled my notes app with incoherent ramblings#(yeah there was the big epiphany but also several smaller ones)#i'm sure this s also unreadable but anyway hello everyone my brain is on fire
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