#of course it's probably guided by fandom mentality at the time

[clericofshadows]

I love the citadel dlc party, I really do, but as a Kaidan fan some of the interactions just rub me the wrong way. like, I'm already annoyed you can't uninvite some people, but no matter the party style, someone is going to shit on Kaidan. maybe it's Sam with the weird as fuck remark about him being racist for asking her opinion about curry. maybe it's also her comment about making his drink with her spill pad (the fuck???). maybe it's the dismissive comments he gets from the other squadmates about his ability to reave. maybe it's the convo with joker and Sam and how they sound when talking about EDI and the incident that could've killed him.

yeah. there's a common denominator here and while I want to like the wlw LI, she just sucks in this DLC.

[arecaceae175]

Linked Universe Character Guide

I made this LU character guide for my friends and I thought it might be useful for any new LU fans out there! And also for anyone else who wants to info dump to friends about LU. So here you go :D

These characters are of course based on @linkeduniverse by Jojo! But, disclaimer, this does include some non-canon stuff (primarily the fandom nicknames and some War of Ages things) that’s common in fanfiction :). I made this for fun and for my friends so it includes my favorite tropes, canon and fanon.

Edit 4/4/23: Alt text and image descriptions added. Alt text only describes the official character art image (descriptions of all the images were too long for alt text and they were being cut off by my screen). Image text and other image descriptions are at the bottom of the post.

(key at the bottom)

Key:

Image text:

Hero of Time – Time – Old Man, Ancestor (by Twilight), Sprite (by Warriors)     |     Zelda: Lullaby

Games: Ocarina of Time, Majora’s Mask

Character Traits:

Oldest of the Links

Mental age unknown, physical age is probably 30s

Leader of the group, also group Dad

Very decisive and stoic when he’s being leader

Youthful sense of humor

Views the Master Sword as a curse/burden

Twilight’s mentor – Animated skeleton in the Twilight Princess game called Hero’s Shade

Loves his wife Malon so so so much

Important Game Facts and Items:

Majora’s Mask was a 3-day time loop basically, Time was the one to control the movement of time though

He has masks that give the wearer powers

His facial markings come from the Fierce Diety Mask, which gives him god-like fighting power, but he can’t always tell friend from foe

Had a fairy companion named Navi in Ocarina of Time

Image descriptions:

Image 1: Time is holding up Wild's version of Majora's Mask even with his face. His injured eye is open slightly and is completely white, and his facial markings are in focus. His text box says "Besides, with a legend like that, I'd be more afraid of what destroyed the demon."

Image 2: Time has his arm around Malon and is smiling happily. Malon is a middle aged white woman with long red hair. She is wearing a farming dress. She is smiling back at Time.

Image 3: Text above the image says "Post-Games, Pre-LU Time." It is a black and white sketch of Time when he was a young man. His hair is long and braided over his shoulder with fringe coming down around his face. He is wearing a simple undershirt.

Image 4: Time is smirking mischievously. He is seen shoulder-up.

Image 5: Time is smiling talking to Wind. Wind is putting his sword back in his sheath. Time's text box says "In every battle, you have a little more of the look of a hero." Wind is smiling sheepishly and his text box says "…"

Image 6: Time is scowling. He is holding his sword with both hands out to the side as if he was just attacking. There is smoke and debris in the background. End descriptions.

Hero of Twilight – Twilight – Twi, Pup (by Time), Rancher, Ordonian, Wolfie     |     Zelda: Dusk

Game: Twilight Princess                                                          

Character Traits:

Started his journey as an older teen/adult, now early 20s

Good sword skill & marksmanship, best on horseback, animal whisperer

Physically strongest Link

Grew up in a small town, Ordon Village, on a ranch

Brother bickering relationship with Warriors

Big Brother of the group

One of the most emotionally mature Links

He often comforts the others as Wolfie

Wild’s mentor (because Wolf Link can show up in Breath of the Wild)

Mentored by Time (Hero’s Shade) and Time’s blood descendant

Important Game Facts and Items:

One of the only ones to start his journey as an older teen/adult

Was cursed with Shadow Magic and can now turn into a wolf at will using the artifact he wears as a necklace (Shadow Crystal)

His horse Epona sometimes accompanies the group

Had a companion named Midna that he loved but can never see again

Image descriptions:

Image 1: Twilight is scowling and has his arms crossed.

Image 2: Twilight is in his wolf form. The wolf is large and primarily black, with grey fur on his chest, paws, and face. He has the same forehead markings as Hylian Twilight, but they are grey instead of black. Wolfie has his eyes closed but his head up and is laying on the ground. Wild is asleep on his back with one arm draped across him.

Image 3: Twilight as Wolfie at the end of his transformation. There are black cubes surrounding him, signaling the transformation. Wolfie has a metal shackle on his left front leg. His hackles raised and he is growling.

Image 4: Twilight has his shield at the ready. His brows are furrowed in concentration. Light is shining from the upper left corner and it makes his hair look more blonde than usual.

Image 5: Image from Wild's Sheikah Slate. Twilight is wearing his undertunic and none of his other usual clothes. He is smiling at the camera. In the background there is a lake with light shimmering on the water.

Image 6: Twilight is grinning widely. He is holding a staff diagonally in front of him. End descriptions.

Hero of Warriors – Warriors – Wars, Captain, Pretty Boy (by Legend)     |     Zelda: Artemis/Athena

Game: Hyrule Warriors

Character Traits:

War of Ages started when he was an older teen/adult, now mid 20s

Military man, but the good kind, Captain in the Hyrulean Army

Weird relationship with Time- Time is team dad, but during the War of Ages Warriors was his big brother figure

Wind’s mentor

Looks are important to him

Prefers to be in groups, good at communication

Best at strategizing and battle plans and such

Doesn’t trust easily because a lot of his soldiers betrayed him

Emotionally mature

Loves to bicker with Legend

Most likely to have actual field medic training

Important Game Facts and Items

War of Ages

Time and Wind were technically present

Image descriptions:

Image 1: Warriors is showing off the burn scar on his left arm. It covers his hand and forearm. He is sitting next to Wind and Warriors' scarf is over both their shoulders. Wind is holding a mug. He is leaning forward and looking at Warriors' scar in shock.

Image 2: Warriors during battle. The art shows lines from the swing of his sword, but the sword is not in the frame. He is mid-swing. His scarf is billowed out behind him.

Image 3: Warriors is smirking and shrugging. There is a text box, but it is cut off and unreadable.

Image 4: Warriors is speaking, but the text box is cut off and unreadable. The image is zoomed in on his upper body.

Image 5: Warriors during battle. He is crouched down and his shoulders are pointing towards the viewer but he is looking to the side. His sword and shield are both up. His sword is pointing in the same direction as he is looking.

Image 6: Warriors is holding out a cloth covered in black blood. He has a cut above his left eyebrow that is bleeding. There is a text box but it is cut off and the only visible word is "creature." End descriptions.

\Hero of the Four Sword – Four – Smithy, Little One (by Time)     |     Zelda: Dot

Games: Four Swords, Four Swords Adventures, Minish Cap

Character Traits:

Smallest but not the youngest, probably mid teen age now

Only one in the group with a functioning braincell

Very skilled blacksmith

Confident, quiet, calm

Often strategizes with Time and Warriors

Important Game Facts and Items

Friends with Minish, which are a race of small mouse-y creatures that can only be seen by children

Wields the Four Sword, which can split him into four versions of himself: Red, Green, Blue, Vio

Each color displays an aspect of Four’s personality

Keeps this a secret and in LU canon just recently revealed it to Wild. Time also knows

Never wielded the Master Sword, doesn’t have the Triforce of Courage

Image descriptions:

Image 1: Four is split into his four colors: Vio, Red, Green, and Blue. They are standing in a semi-circle and looking at something outside the image. Vio looks contemplative, Red looks upset, Green looks surprised, and Blue looks angry.

Image 2: Four is blacksmithing. He is sitting in front of the forge. He is holding a hammer in his left hand and tongs in his right hand. Both hands have thick leather gloves. In the tongs, he is holding up a horseshoe to inspect.

Image 3: Four is standing next to time with his arms crossed and brows furrowed. Wild's legs are in the frame, and he is on the ground in front of them recovering from an injury. Four's text box says "You think this is gonna (read: going to) be a pattern?"

Image 4: Four during battle. He is leaping backwards out of the way of an axe. He is holding his sword in his left hand and his shield in his right hand. His eyebrows are furrowed. His hair is flying forward as he jumps backward.

Image 5: Four is laughing as he stands next to the Master Sword. Sky is holding the Master Sword with the tip on the ground. The Master Sword is only a few inches shorter than Four. Wind's hand is above Four's head measuring the height difference. End descriptions.

Hero of the Winds – Wind – Sailor     |     Zelda: Tetra

Game: Wind Waker, Phantom Hourglass, Spirit Tracks (?)

Character Traits:

Youngest Link, started his journey at 12, now almost 14

Very fun personality and very expressive

Good at stealth and navigation

Is a pirate

Has a little sister named Aryll

The others look out for him since he’s the youngest, but he wants to be able to prove himself as a capable hero

Likes joking and pulling pranks

Important Game Facts and Items

He can control the wind with his Wind Waker, though this has never been used in LU canon

Started his journey because his sister was kidnapped

Was not originally gifted with the Hero’s Spirit of Courage, he assembled the Triforce during his journey

Killed Ganon at age 12 by stabbing him in the face

Image descriptions:

Image 1: Wind during battle. He is holding a huge two-handed sword and it mid-swing. His eyebrows are furrowed and his mouth is open like he's yelling.

Image 2: Wind is grinning widely and watching a fairy fly. He is holding a bottle in one hand and pulling the cork out of the bottle with his other hand.

Image 3: A full body image of Wind. He is standing like the standing man emoji meme. He is scowling and his frown is squiggly.

Image 4: Wind is gasping in surprise. His eyes are very wide.

Image 5: Ain image of Wind from the side. He is leaning back sightly. He is holding a shield. He looks very much like a child in the image.

Image 6: Wind is grinning widely. He is leaning toward the viewer and his eyes are focused on something off screen. He has one hand curled against his chest. End descriptions.

Hero of the Wild – Wild – Cub (by Twilight and Time), Cook, Champion     |     Zelda: Flora

Games: Breath of the Wild, Tears of the Kingdom

Character Traits:

117 (17 physically)

Survivalist, best archer, crazy good stamina

Only Link that is actually good at cooking

Very prone to injury, a bit reckless, breaks his weapons a lot

Has insecurities about being the only Link that ‘failed’ their mission (this is obviously not true)

Lost his memories when he died, still getting them back

Used to be a knight pre-Calamity Ganon

Mentored by Twilight

He and Hyrule often run off and get lost together

Important Game Facts and Items

Has the Shiekah Slate, the inventory works, bombs and stasis are the only runes still functional. Technically in LU canon he has an enchanted bag, but in fanfics his storage is usually the slate

Scars are from when he died during the Calamity. Shrine of Resurrection fully healed his body internally

Wolf Link (older version of Twilight) helped him on parts of his journey

Image desriptions:

Image 1: Wild is holding his bag tightly with one hand and a soup ladle in the other hand. There are lines on the art implying he was just swinging the ladle. He is scowling. The phrase "grrr" is above his head.

Image 2: Wild is frowning and is very anger. The lines on the image imply he just stood up very quickly. The scars on his face, ear, and neck are purposefully in focus.

Image 3: Wild during battle. He is leaping through the air and his hair is flying behind him. He is holding a sword in one hand and the Sheikah Slate out in front of him with his other hand.

Image 4: Wild is shrugging, grinning, and his eyes are very wide. His expression is very comical. His text box says "SO?"

Image 5: Wild is sitting in a chair in front of a Time and Malon's dining table. He has one hand gently braced on the table. He is smiling sheepishly at something off-screen.

Image 6: Wild is holding his bow with one hand. With the other hand he has three arrows at once nocked on the bow's string.

Image 7: Wild is shrugging and grinning widely at something off screen. There is a text box but it is cut off and unreadable. End descriptions.

The Hero of Legend – Legend – Veteran, Vet     |     Zelda: Fable

Games: A Link to the Past, Link’s Awakening, Oracle of Seasons, Oracle of Ages, A Link Between Worlds, Tri Force Heroes

Character Traits:

Older teen age

Most experienced Link, but chooses not to be a leader

Closest to Hyrule and Warriors, bickering relationship with Warriors

Very magically inclined

Mature for his age, very reliable

Very snarky, tries to act emotionally unaffected by his adventures

Truly loves adventuring and travelling

But likes to do things the right way and know where he’s going

Important Game Facts and Items:

One of his adventures may not have been real (Koholint), and he has a lot of issues surrounding that and the woman he fell in love with during it

Has so many items, has a tool for everything (bit of a hoarder)

Can turn into a pink rabbit sometimes

Ravio is his counterpart from Lorule, they live together

Image descriptions:

Image 1: Legend in his bunny form. It is a very cute pink rabbit and he is still wearing his red sleeveless tunic in bunny form.

Image 2: Legend is smirking and in the middle of telling a story. He has his hands out in front of them as if he is using them to portray his story. There is a text box and it has a lot of words but they are cut off and unreadable. His hair is primarily pink.

Image 3: Legend is smirking and elbowing Wind. Wind is mostly cut off of the frame.

Image 4: Legend is pointing at the viewer and yelling in surprise. His hair is mostly pink, but his roots are growing out blonde. His text box has extra pointed edges to show he is yelling but the words are cut off and unreadable.

Image 5: Legend has a confused look on his face. He is holding his shield but it is resting by his side. His text box is cut out of frame.

Image 6: Legend mid battle. The lines in the art imply he is running toward the viewer. His shield is hooked to his back and he is holding his sword with both hands. His sword has a blue hilt and a red blade.

Image 7: Legend has his chin pointed up and out and looks contemplative. The image has a regal vibe. His text box is cut out of frame. End descriptions.

Hero of Hyrule – Hyrule – Traveler, Rule, Roolie     |     Zelda: Aurora & Dawn

Game: The Legend of Zelda, Zelda II: Adventures of Link

Character Traits:

Mid-teen age

Soft-spoken, kind, just a humble traveler

Doesn’t think he’s as much of a hero or warrior as the others

Handles himself well in battle despite having no formal training

Never gives up

Very magically inclined, and has healing magic

Looks up to Legend since he is Legend’s successor

Loves exploring with Wild

Grew up in a cave

Important Game Facts and Items

Original two Zelda games

His world is kind of a wasteland

Monsters in his world want to use his blood to resurrect Ganon

Never used the Master Sword

Has the entire Triforce

Image descriptions:

Image 1: Hyrule is looking down on the viewer and his hands are glowing with his healing magic. His eyes are closed in concentration. In the bottom of the frame, there are bandages on Twilight's chest.

Image 2: Hyrule is grinning widely and has one arm locked with Wild's. Wild is cut out of the frame. Hyrule is pointing over his shoulder with his thumb. The text is cut off, but the readable part says "curiosity sure doesn't!"

Image 3: Hyrule is standing in the center of the frame. The lighting and his stance make him look very young. Both his arms are extended out of the frame, and on one side there is a sliver of his shield visible.

Image 4: Hyrule during battle. He is running at something out of frame and yelling. There are scratches and dirt smudges on his face. He is holding his sword with both hands and it is on fire.

Image 5: Hyrule shoulders and head are centered. The lines in the art imply he quickly turned his head. His text box says "?" and he looks confused.

Image 6: Hyrule is grinning mischievously. His shoulders are facing away but his head is turned towards the viewer. He is snapping his fingers, there is a "SNAP" written next to his fingers, and there is lightning coming from his fingers. He is holding his sword with his other hand and his shield is strapped to his back. End descriptions.

The Chosen Hero – Sky     |     Zelda: Sun

Game: Skyward Sword

Character Traits:

Started his journey in mid-teens, now early 20s

Best swordsman- don’t get on his bad side

Skyloftian Knight

Kind, joyful, bashful, emotionally mature

Loves cuddles, loves comforting the others and making them smile

Very low stamina, needs more resting time, loves sleep

Very very in love with his Zelda

Friends with the soul of the Master Sword (Fi) and view the Master Sword as a blessing

Important Game Facts and Items:

Chronologically the first hero

Grew up on a floating island called Skyloft

He and his Zelda are rebuilding the Surface, and their kingdom will one day become Hyrule

Never actually fought Ganon- fought Demise, who cursed the hero’s spirit to be tied to his own

Image descriptions:

Image 1: Sky during battle. Sky's back is to the viewer and he is looking over his shoulder. His text box says "?!" He is holding his sword with one hand and his shield with the other. His shield has a very ornate metal design. His sailcloth is flowing behind him like a cape. There is black debris in the background.

Image 2: Sky is smiling kindly. His textbox says "Well I think it's neat."

Image 3: Sky during battle. He is holding the Master Sword above his head in the position for the Skyward Strike from his game and the sword is glowing brightly. His brows are furrowed in anger. He is holding his shield in his other hand.

Image 4: Sky is smiling bashfully and blushing. He has his head resting on a hand and is looking towards the Sky. There are hearts surrounding his head.

Image 5: Image from Wild's Sheikah Slate. Sky is asleep against a tree and there are hands in the image stacking sticks on his head.

Image 6: Sky is smiling up at the sun. Sun says are shining down on him. His hair looks especially fluffy. End descriptions.

[fereldanwench]

okay so

i guess i'm doing this

i've avoided talking too publicly about any of this because it's... messy and uncomfortable for me, and probably other people, too. i also don't want to perpetuate drama and i was hoping i could just move on, but i don't think i can without unburdening myself a little here and i need to be witnessed, lmao.

i think this fandom also has a culture of whispering and gossiping in discord servers and dms rather than addressing anything head-on, and breaking that norm is also uncomfortable.

but the thing is, even if no one explicitly shares anything, that energy still obviously influences more public spaces and how we interact with each other. it breeds a lot of paranoia and mistrust, i think, even for people who aren't predisposed to dealing with issues like social anxiety or RSD. but given how many of us do actually deal with those things, it makes it even worse.

(although on the flipside, i think there are also plenty of conflicts that should be resolved privately and sometimes going full salted-earth publicly is also the wrong move, but I DIGRESS)

and look, yes, i am bad in this regard, too. i got sucked into this shit with everyone else, and i fuckin' hate it. i hate how much inconsequential knowledge i have rotting inside my already very overloaded brain about who's besties and who blocked whomst and WHATEVER THE FUCK I DO NOT FUCKING CARE

i didn't get involved in this shit in high school, i certainly don't need to be getting involved in it now

having said all that, here's some internal fandom conflict i've been dealing with on and off since january of this year.

about a week after lizzie's shutdown, i did notice that people i thought i was cool with were seemingly no longer cool with me. it was also happened not too long after i made the how-to fandom guide that i realized missed the mark for some folks, so i was like, well, maybe it was just that.

but to be completely honest, even if it was just that, that still kinda sucked too. although i agreed with the feedback that i should have taken a different approach to some areas in that guide and been more sympathetic to other sensitivities for creators in the fandom, my heart was in the right place. intent doesn't override impact, of course, but intent should still count for something, i think.

and i'm not asking for sympathy, i don't want or need it, but i do just want to share where i was mentally at the time to set the stage for later anxieties: no one likes getting yelled at for doing what they thought was a good thing.

but yanno, also, again to be fully transparent, i did feel like some folks were projecting their insecurities onto some sections and were just taking an uncharitable read on it as a result. i think a handful of people just didn't read it at all and wanted to revel in some righteous indignation, an impulse i unfortunately also understand too well so i can't judge too harshly there. sometimes you just see a phrase that just gets under your skin and nothing else said before or after that matters. i know. I've been there. but it is still kind of unfair to the person on the receiving end.

but i tried to walk away from that situation with humility and understanding and as a lesson to be more thoughtful in the future. i also had enough people say that it was helpful for me to feel like ultimately was a net positive, and i felt like everyone was moving past it.

so a few weeks later, after lizzie's had shut down under INCREDIBLY ABRUPT AND CONFUSING CIRCUMSTANCES TO ME, and i noticed i was being seemingly shunned or even blocked by folks i was like...

are people mad at me again for the how-to-fandom post?

or, because i am publicly friends with some prominent members of lizzies who have been accused of bullying and other bad things, that i am guilty by association?

at the time, i actually considered making some sort of public statement, but i took a step back, and i told myself "no, you're just still dealing with some lingering anxieties about The Fandom Post and you're extra sensitive and inclined to some paranoia right now. you were mostly active in the 3 months in lizzie's before it shut down. you don't have a strong association with the server. that's silly. and making a post like that will probably just make things worse because people will assume a guilty conscience is an admission of wrongdoing in and of itself."

(and i do have a guilty conscience, but i was raised catholic, my natural state is to assume i did something wrong even if i quantifiably didn't, lmao.)

but i would still catch little comments here and there, notice passive-aggressive tags on someone's post, or even just feel a vibe that kept me thinking... maybe i actually am accused of doing something.

so when That Blog started up (and yes i hate myself for being enthralled by it and i just blocked it because i know my curious monkey brain will continue leading me to the dark side if i don't), and i saw that i was explicitly accused of being a part of some inner cabal of 30-year-old women who were bullying everyone in lizzie's, i was like OH okay. so it wasn't paranoia, i was right. being friends with a few people who have been accused of wrongdoing and i guess... winning a photomode contest once was enough for some people to assume that i was one of the big baddies in the server? cool.

but the other big reason i didn't want to say anything publicly at the time was the two incidents that i was aware of did not involve me at all. i literally just did not do anything. and it wasn't my place then nor is it my place now to weigh in on other of those, especially in a public setting. i don't even want to say anything beyond this, really. i wasn't involved in any capacity, and i don't want to be involved. they're just not my conflicts.

and i know some people will take that stance in and of itself as being complicit or whatever, and that's your perogative, but i just don't feel right about inserting myself in a situation that never involved me. and i certainly don't want to drag anyone, friend or otherwise, into anything when they're probably trying to work past it in their own ways, too.

i'm also not even that pressed about people deciding they don't "trust" me or whatever for being friends (or just being friendly with--some of the people I'm accused of conspiring with i don't even know that well) with people they don't like. I'm sometimes wary of people who are friends with people i don't vibe with, too. i get it. so if you want to label me as guilty by association, knock your socks off. but just know that within the context of The Lizzie's Situation, that is the extent of my trangressions.

and outside of The Lizzie's Situation, the only two things i can think of that i did were 1) foot-in-mouth guide as addressed up there, which i really think is more of a miscommunication than an actual Bad Thing and 2) acting like an asshole in another server to someone because i was mad about how they treated my friends, which was still the wrong way to handle those feelings, and I apologized for the best way i can under the circumstances.

i genuinely cannot think of anything else I've done to cause harm to anyone in this fandom. even with people i don't like, i still don't want to hurt them. i just don't want to interact with them. if there is something else i did and you want to talk to me about it, i am open to hearing about that and doing what i can to alleviate that hurt (if it's possible, i know sometimes it's not) and making the effort to not do that again in the future.

i know i can't do anything about people who are already convinced that i am the devil, but i don't think i could really accept that and move on without at least getting my side out there. so if you read this, thank you.

that said, i do think i need to disconnect for a while so if anyone reaches out one way or the other, I'm taking the day off from social media, lol. maybe the weekend, idk, we'll see.

but yeah. that's it. thanks. 💙

[rauchendesgnu]

⭐ For At thy will!

*cracks knuckles* alright, so (I have no idea how tumblr is gonna treat this post lol)

I am going to elaborate on a few things: medieval marriage laws in what would later become Germany (and how my seminar on middle high German became the catalyst for this fic), a few details on the restrictions and powers of being a dominant or a submissive, and how the marriage laws and misogyny translate into fantasy sexism.

Before all that I have one more thing to say, though: the fic is inspired by the AUs I read in the Witcher fandom (the designation marks are heavily inspired by this fic specifically).

That being said, I hope I can satisfy your curiosity without boring you.

First: medieval marriage laws in the area that would later become Germany (I keep saying this because at this time there are a ton of principalities and small factions. It's only later that something like a nation is founded. I'm a language student, though, not a historian, so if you're interested in that, I'm probably not the right person to ask).

There are two types of marriage, the "muntehe" and "friedelehe" ("ehe" meaning "marriage" and "munt" meaning something akin to tutelage. i forgot what "friedel" means, I'm afraid). The first one, "muntehe", is much (much!!) more common, and the reason why I am writing this fic right now instead of finishing my other wips. The family of the bride and the family of the groom (or the groom himself) make a bargain. The bride goes from the tutelage of her father (or eldest remaining male relative) into the tutelage of the groom/her husband. The bride's family then receives money for her to use should her husband die before her. She has no rights and no say in the matter at all. (I believe there are one or two things I'm missing, but you get the idea.) The wedding has, of course, to be consummated, and sexual abuse within marriage did not count as rape in Germany until 1997 (which is very fucked up and not actually part of the medieval laws, but it still makes me really mad (as it should)).

the "friedelehe" is a form of marriage where both members consent to getting married. There are a few differences, first: the bride has more rights and may divorce her husband if she decides to do so, but: there is also no money, since her family is not selling her (it doesn't say so in the text book, but that's basically what happens). If I recall correctly, the ceremony at church is also not a thing in this one. My professor said this form of marriage happened more or less never.

In general, this wasn't news to me, but discussing it at university, realising I could technically read the laws written down over 500 years ago, sort of started this whole thing.

Second: being dominant versus being submissive. The visual difference between both is the designation mark: a long, black bar from the wrist up to the crook of the elbow on the left arm for the dominant and a thick, black cuff around the left wrist for the submissive. There are conventions, but much like the whole "men can't wear dresses" thing, that's a society problem (which I will get to later). To be submissive means the body requires submission in order to function properly, and to be dominant means to guide someone into submission. Should those needs not be met (as Martin mentions), physical and mental consequences follow (in the worst case, depriving oneself of the submission/domination ends in death, like it did with Martin's mother). Scenes do not have to be sexual. There is one thing that makes it more complicated: the dominant can use their Voice to force a submissive to obey (I'm pretty sure most of what I'm currently saying is pretty standard for the AU, but I haven't seen it around in a while, so I'll just leave it here and hope nobody is annoyed).

Third: The fucked up part about how society screws it all up (aka fantasy sexism so we can still make it gay while also discussing how sexism is very fucking shitty). In this AU, submissives take on the role of brides/wives in medieval Europe. No citizenship, no rights, the only way to escape the arranged marriage is to pledge yourself to a religious order (like Jon tried with the Temple of Beholding). There is a very strict set of rules ("etiquette") on how submissives have to behave around their dominant, but also other dominants and neutrals (neutrals being the majority that can, but doesn't have to, assume either position if needed). Submissives are also taught to cover their hair (this was custom in medieval Germany). This does not apply to neutrals or dominants, although it is very frowned upon to Command a submissive that is not your own (writing this makes my skin crawl).

There's probably more, but this post is getting pretty long. Feel free to ask any further questions you might have and I'll try my best to answer them. Here are some sketches I did to illustrate my point (plus Jonah Magnus' smug face in case any of y'all wanna punch it)

Thank you for this ask and for letting me ramble about the world of my wip. It ended up being more of a "I write down a shit ton of stuff I feel like mentioning" and less "I pick something specific to talk about", but well.

If you haven't read the first two chapters yet and you're interested, you can find At Thy Will here.

[dichromaticdyke]

re: skwisgaar attraction myth debunk turned feminist critique (AMAZING post btw) - feel free to ignore/not respond if it's too much/incomprehensible (english is fake)/rambly

honestly i feel like said post gets into the lesser discussed aspect of the mtl fandom as i believe a lot of us want to view it as different than other fandoms with a majority male cast; but it's not. this is a fandom full of misogyny-affected folks, especially of tme persuasion, who never outgrew or if new, elect to partake in, ye olde fandom habits of internalized misogyny shining through like it's their goddamn guiding light.

i dont know exactly how to phrase this in a demographically correct way, but it feels like despite the mtl fandom being overwhelmingly queer and a lot of the misogyny-affected tme folks being trans... the "i'm not like other girls" mentality was not broken out of; people decided "i am not a woman" and suddenly unpacking internalized misogyny wasn't a thing they decided they had to do anymore!

like. it feels like mtl fandom is about being "quirky" and shipping dethklok together but god forbid you wanna focus on the women in the show; abigail, amber, trindle, etc. it's... a tale as old as time (as those of us who have been in fandom spaces for a while would know) and it's so fucking saddening.

i've seen media analysis and critique of this show (MOSTLY YOURS!!) but more often than not it feels like the fandom doesn't want to delve into that either; they like mtl on the surface level. because it's edgy. because it's metal. because it's funny. because they find xyz member of the cast sexy. and i feel like this interwined internalized misogyny being projected out via mtl fandom behaviors with this complete lack of regard for the quality aspects of the show and the depths of the characters within it... i dunno. as i said, it's saddening.

...again, i hope this wasn't too word salad-like, or rambly, or long, or anything, but oh my god your post got the gears turning in my brain head so full of all the thoughts ever-

and yet again, AMAZING analysis, incredible dedication, and fantastic feminist critique.

don’t worry darling this wasn’t too long of an ask and i find it VERY intriguing.

because yeah i do absolutely fall into both camps of this to an extent. i love shipping the boys and talking about them, because i do love them as characters, but yeah it’s so easy to fall into the trap of not caring about the female characters in the show. and i would agree, again to an extent, that the female characters were not given much care or time from the show to properly be explored in a meaningful way (though, how much of that was a deliberate choice by the crew and how much of that just happened due to adult swim meddling in the latter years, we’ll probably never know). i always find it interesting, for example, how fandom will latch onto magnus but not care about abigail, despite abigail having more screentime and having a major impact on the plot of the show (had the band never broke up over her, salacia wouldn’t have attacked when he did, forcing them to finally learn about the prophecy and the doomstar arguably before they were ready, AND without salacia’s attack, the revengencers wouldn’t have been able to catch dethklok at the funeral and kidnap toki and abigail). of course with abigail, it’s not just misogyny playing a role there, but racism too, though luckily there have been some people calling out fandom treatment of her.

i’ve talked a bit before about how much it sucks that abigail wasn’t given really anything to work with, but it also makes sense given that the show is from dethklok’s point of view and they don’t really care about her either. that’s why it feels so strange (and SHOULD feel strange) to see nathan proposing to abigail in aotd—we didn’t know anything about her because he didn’t know anything about her, and that was kind of the whole point of that arc in the movie. women are objects to dethklok, and because of that, they become objects in the show, and i do think the statements “this is a deliberate critique of misogyny reinforced both by powerful men and metal culture” AND “this is a result of the crew failing to create and integrate meaningful female characters into the show” can both co-exist. honestly, i think mtl has a lot to say about gender (idk how much of that was intentional, but i’ve been thinking about it for a While and want to make a long analysis post or video about it at some point).

regarding the fandom spaces i mean. fuck, you’re talking to a decently popular lesbian mtl creator. i have one foot in the camp of being a misogyny-affected person (tme also, for reference) who makes up a majority of the fandom, but also the other foot is in the “not attracted to men” camp. as much as i like the shipping and smut writing for funsies, i genuinely feel like there’s more to this show than most people give it credit for. i have written so many analyses about it (with plans for more) for a reason. i’ve been in online fandom spaces for about half my life now, and no other piece of media has made me have this many fits of divine madness.

all this to say, yeah, it’s a silly adult swim show, i’m sure 95% of what we see on screen we’re not meant to think too much about. but the reality is that, the text belongs to the readers once it is out in the world, and the way readers respond to it can reflect internalized biases or thoughts. that’s not always the case! sometimes i just wanna see two silly long-haired men kiss because i think it would fix them. but you don’t leave your biases and oppressive thoughts at the door once you enter fandom. and i certainly don’t leave my literature MA or gender studies degree at the door either!

[ticiie]

week 6: when the doubts creep in

prompt from the off-season winter sport fandom challenge

length: 1508 words

pairing: Gino Caviezel/Marco Odermatt

author's note: trying to make up for missing last week by adding the hint of a road trip but at the same time bending and breaking this weeks prompt again because writing is really hard on me atm

Justin didn't bother getting out of the car and to ring at Marco's door, he just honked three times, loud enough to wake up the entire neighborhood. Marco came hurrying out and down the last couple of stairs before either Justin or Thomas could get out of the car.

“You're late!,” he greeted them.

“And you're early, we're usually the ones left waiting.” Justin took Marco's bag and stowed with the rest of the luggage in the back of his car. After the suit bag was placed securely on the top, Marco and Justin hugged briefly. They hadn't seen each other in quite some time, Marco had been too tied up with work and hadn't found a chance to make it to Mauro's bachelor party so now the excitement for the actual wedding was even bigger. Marco climbed in the backseat.

Thomas acclaimed him with a “took you way too long” and Marco scoffed but gave him an affectionate pat to the shoulder. Justin went flat out and they shot down Marco's street, through the village and back on the highway within the least amount of time possible.

“As much as I'm concerned about us being late, I do fancy arriving at the venue in one piece so would you please not kill us?” Thomas asked. He had his hand clenched around the handle above his head.

“We're late,” Justin said, not even pretending to slow down. Oh, how much he'd missed them, Marco thought and laughed to himself. They told him all the fun stories about the party, most of them involving a drunk Justin and for some reasons Marco didn't quite catch, a pineapple-incident. He made a mental note to ask Gino about it later today. As for now, Marco was just very glad to be back around his teammates. The past weeks had been unusually busy, probably thanks to his very successful season. Everyone and their grandparents had wanted something from Marco and Zoé had done the most amazing job with coordinating the association's meetings around his private appointments.

“So, are you gonna do it?,” Justin eventually asked. He looked at Marco through the rearview mirror. Marco hesitated for a second, which was one way to answer.

“No,” he then added with a sigh. Thomas turned around in disbelieve. “You're breaking up with him?”

“Of course not, are you out of your mind?! I just don't want to pull all the attention on us. It's Mauro's wedding, it's really not my place to spoil it for either of them.”

“Yeah, Justin's gonna do that all by himself if he gets himself drunk again.” Thomas' comment earned him a punch from Justin.

The rest of the drive went by rather eventless. The serpentine streets guided them upwards, in and out of the forest, to the top where the view suddenly extended again and the clear blue sky welcomed them. It was all thanks to Justin’s insanity they made it in time, with the last guests still standing outside the chapel, about to get seated, when he basically threw the car to the side of the street and they all jumped out.

“Thank goodness,” Gino breathed as he spotted his friends. He was standing next to the entry so he could give a sign to the head of the band when it was time to start the music. Many people came so it took Justin and Thomas a bit longer than necessary to squeeze past friends and family members, earning one or two stern looks but the smiles and whispered “hello, great to see you” prevailed. Meanwhile Marco had allowed himself an extra minute to kiss Gino quickly. The older one had forgotten all about his anger and frustration and felt himself relaxing against Marco’s touch.

“You look amazing,” he said and Marco felt his heart stumble in his chest and his cheeks turning red. Even after so many years, it had never needed more effort from Gino than that to make Marco flush, a fact that probably wouldn’t be changing anytime soon.

Gino went to take his position next to Mauro just as the music began. Nina, Mauro’s soon-to-be wife, entered the chapel, looking as beautiful as never before. Mauro clutched his chest. It was hard to decide whether he should laugh or cry out of pure luck. Marco met Gino’s eyes and they both shared an equally affectionate smile. Had it been the right decision to leave the velvet box at home? Gino was the love of his life, no doubts creeping in there. But what if this was the last chance Marco got? The longer he waited, the more Gino might start to hesitate? It was Thomas who helped Marco out of the down pull of his spiraling thoughts. He leaned over and whispered: “You can still ask him, even without the ring.” At first, Marco didn’t react. He kept watching the ceremony. Mauro was taking his vows, stating how much he loved Nina, not just for who she was but also what she had done to him. There was more than one person in the audience who was reaching for their tissues. Marco refused to look up from his shoelaces. The days Mauro was referring to had been long and insufferable. The fact that Mauro had overcome this hell on earth with more positives than he had entered it with was a miracle. For a moment, the only thing audible was the rustling of hankies and people sniffling here and there. Then the first notes of a well-known Swiss pop song chimed up and by that time, even the people who hadn’t lost it completely yet, did so now.

The wedding and the reception were followed by a delicious open-air dinner on the Caviezel-estate. A couple of gazebos had been drawn up on the lawn, all surrounding a hardwood dance floor that was encircled by lanterns and flower décor, giving the whole setting a wonderful relaxed vibe. The band was playing danceable songs, those not dancing enjoyed a good talk along with a fine glass of wine. To wrap it up: it was a perfect night for the perfect wedding. Mauro and Nina were the center of attention on the dance floor. She had taken off her high heels a while ago already and now she was swinging in Mauro’s arms, with her head against his chest. It was obvious to everyone and their grandmother that those two had found their missing piece.

The guys were sitting at their table when Gino joined them. His day had been a lot busier than he had expected and so this was probably the first time he got to sit down properly. Underneath the exhaustion, he was happy though. He smiled at Marco as he poured him a glass of water and accepted it along with the soft kiss Marco placed on his cheek.

“Hey Justin, let’s go check out the photobooth,” Thomas quickly said and got up. Justin protested. “What? No, I only just sat down again, have you even tried the cake, it’s really good!” He stretched out his plate under Thomas’ nose who just motioned in Gino’s and Marco’s direction to make him understand the hint. “Yeah, the photobooth looks fun indeed,” he grumbled, leaving his second serving of dessert behind with a sad look. Neither Gino nor Marco had taken much notice of the conversation.

“I love Mauro but I’m seriously not sad about this day being over.,” Gino eventually sighed.

“Does that mean you don’t want a big party then once you get married?”

“Certainly not as big as this one. I don’t need a hundred guests in our front lawn.” Hearing Gino talk about their front lawn as if it was obvious enough they had already agreed on getting married was the last bit of certainty it took for Marco to do it. “Here goes nothing then,” he whispered and got up from his chair and down on one knee. He took Gino’s hand.

“I love you, Gino. I really do and although I can’t say a lot more about how much I love you without tearing up again, I want you to know that I don’t want to spend my life without you by my side anymore. So, I’m asking you: Will you do me the honor and marry me?”

This time, it was Gino who couldn’t decide between laughing and crying. The big lump in his throat prevented him from speaking so he just pulled out a little box from his pocket and presented its containments to Marco: A simple yet gorgeous ring. Marco just stared at it, giving Gino the chance to find his speech again. “I wasn’t sure if you’d ever ask. Yes, yes of course I want to marry you.” Gino pulled Marco to kiss him, both their faces covered in tears but the joy radiating off their bodies for everyone to see. They didn’t hear the people cheering and applauding, especially Gino’s brother and his sister-in-law. The most perfect end to a perfect day.

[aewinning]

@bittermachine sent the deep fic writer asks list to me in Discord and asked a whole bunch of them. I figured I'd go ahead and post my answers on tumblr in case anyone else was interested! And of course anyone is free to ask more from the list as well.

6. what's the hardest part of the writing process for you?

Getting out a first draft. Once that's there the revision and editing process is a breeze, even if involved. But actually getting words down is sometimes an extremely painful task.

7. how does receiving or not receiving feedback/support impact you?

If I don't receive feedback or support I'll drift along from project to project when my brain decides it's ready to write something. If people vocally support something I've written and say they want more, that tends to get me thinking about what 'more' would look like and sort of guide my interest that way for my next projects.

9. what's your writing process like?

Sit at computer, open Scrivener (which I have customized to look like the AO3 theme I read in, Reversi), open a cherry Bing energy drink, and start writing. From there I tend to have two modes: distracted, where I can't focus for shit and end up tabbing out often to scroll tumblr or twitter so I don't feel like exploding when the words won't come, or hyperfocused, where I'll sit down and write literally all night or until the fic draft is finished. There is no in-between for me.

10. how has writing positively impacted your mental health or overall mood?

I've used it to vent heavy feelings before back when I was writing for the Homestuck fandom, but it's also helped me find a fair few friends I wouldn't have found otherwise. It's a good hobby for connecting with people.

12. What’s your perfect environment to create/write?

Cool but not cold, quiet or with instrumental music that fits the vibe and doesn't distract me, no strong smells unless they're sweet (I'm very sensitive to smells), a dim or dark room, a second screen for research, an ergonomic keyboard and a comfy chair, nobody else around, and an endless supply of Bing energy drinks.

Yes, it specifically has to be Bings. I hate the taste of most energy drinks and tea and coffee but the original cherry Bings are a delightful way to perk me up and help me focus. They're also just part of the routine at this point - I think I pavlov'd myself into only being able to write with them or something, back in my Homestuck days. Something else cold and carbonated can at least help me focus in a pinch if I don't have Bings though - it's really the cold bite and the carbonation that help me more than the caffeine.

13. Do you take pride in your writing, or does it embarrass you? Why?

Pride, of course. Not in the sense that I think I'm better than anybody else, but why would I spend the time creating and sharing something I wasn't happy with? Also I have no shame. Live life free of cringe and judgment.

14. Do you compare yourself to other writers? In a positive or negative way?

Sometimes, and usually in what I guess would be a negative way. Either "wow they write so much, how do they do that?" or "wow, this is so good, I wish I could be that good/write like this." But then at other times I'll come across fic that's wildly ooc or has terrible grammar/spelling/formatting and I'll be like "but at least I'm not *this* bad" and click back out lmao. So it probably balances out.

Occasionally I'll see a fic that's just terrible or has a concept I don't vibe with that has more views/kudos/whatever than mine but in that scenario I tend to just lament for the state of fandom nowadays (old man shakes fist at cloud meme: "so this dreck is what's popular nowadays!?") But I'm aware comparing yourself to others is a bad habit so I try not to do it in either direction, it just manages to sneak through sometimes anyways.

17. What’s the best engagement/interaction/feedback you’ve received from someone who’s read your work?

Hard question but probably the fact that a few of the people that subscribed to me back during my Homestuck years read my Genshin fic even if they don't play Genshin. I personally don't tend to read fic without the context of the series because the interest just isn't there for me, so it's a huge compliment to me that someone would like my writing enough to stick with me through a fandom change.

18. Do you only write when you’re inspired, or do you try and sit down at specific times and write no matter what?

I usually only write when inspired because it's like pulling teeth otherwise, and not worth the time and frustration. It's a hobby, not an obligation. But by 'inspired' I really mean 'focused' because there are plenty of times where I have inspiration but I'm running up against a mental wall when I try to write.

I've been having this issue recently trying to write Foul Eggacy 3 - the whole thing is plotted and outlined, I have 2.5 scenes written, but for the past few weeks every time I sit down to try to write I only get a few paragraphs written even if I sit all night because I just can't focus and the words won't come easily. I'm trying to push myself more than I usually would on this one because I'd like to release it before Baizhu's release in 3.6, but I won't force it. I'm only going to release it before then if it's done and I'm satisfied with it. I want to get it right the first time.

19. If you could write an ideal fic, what would it include?

I don't really think there's such a thing as an 'ideal' fic but. I guess the dream would be to someday be able to write a longfic of people falling for each other convincingly, with good pacing, a believable scenario, and the hottest fucknasty sex as a payoff for sticking with it. It doesn't have to have much in the way of 'plot' as long as the character and relationship development is good.

I'm just not great at longfic because of my focus and memory issues; I often have to reread what I've already written even in a one-shot fic if it gets too long, to make sure dialogue and tone stays similar throughout a fic and I didn't forget anything. Something like the Foul Eggacy series is already pushing my boundaries since I have an entire AU constructed for it, so I've had to reread the first two fics multiple times while outlining/writing 3 to remind myself what I've already revealed to readers, catch the foreshadowing I dropped, etc. And of course lots of note-checking! But the bigger the work or series, the harder it gets. I have massive respect for people that write good longfic because of my own difficulties with it.

20. What’s the greatest gift you’ve gotten from your writing?

Friends and a degree of confidence! I've met a *lot* of people over the years through my writing, people that came to follow me on tumblr after reading my fic or talking to me in comments, some of who ended up being good enough friends that we talk regularly on Discord.

As for the confidence, I certainly can't say writing fic has 'fixed' my confidence issues, but getting even a kudos, much less a nice comment or a reblog/retweet/rec of my work, really boosts my mood. And it's nice to feel like putting fic out there is giving back to fandoms that pull me through tough times. Like yeah, I'm sure there are plenty of writers I'll never be as good as - but that's fine. As long as I'm putting a net positive into the world with my fics, helping someone get through a bad day by reading about their fave being wrung dry, that's enough for me.

[scuttling]

Sweet Evening Breeze

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairings: Aaron Hotchner/Female Reader Word Count: 5,042 Tags: 18+, NSFW, Naïve reader, Innocence kink, Oral sex, Unprotected sex, Previous bad sexual experience Summary: Being Jack Hotchner’s babysitter is a pretty great job. He’s an angel, most of the time, and his dad is so sweet and thoughtful, really takes care of you. Really takes care of you... *Requested by anon Link to A03 or read below! “Jack, buddy, time for breakfast,” you call down the hall for the third time. “We’ll play Legos later.” He shouts something nearly incomprehensible back, and you sigh as you stretch up, trying to reach the jam he likes on the top shelf of the cupboard.

Most of the time, the fact that Jack’s dad, Aaron, is very tall gives you butterflies in your stomach, but sometimes it’s just an inconvenience—like when he puts groceries up so high you don’t have a chance of reaching them.

“Dad did not say you could skip breakfast, and it’s not okay to lie. Little monster,” you mutter, and you can feel Aaron’s breath on the back of your neck when he chuckles softly. Whoops. You didn’t even know he was standing there. “I say that with full affection.”

He reaches around you to take down the jam, resting a hand on your lower back, probably for support. The bit of skin exposed by your stretching tingles at the touch.

“Of course, and so do I. Often.” You turn to face him, give him a grateful smile, and take the jar of jam.

“Thank you. Ugh, aren’t you miserable in that?” you ask, gesturing to his usual business suit. As Jack’s babysitter, you see Aaron in a suit almost every day—another thing that gives you butterflies—but you’re in the middle of a heatwave, and it’s 97 degrees in your little suburb of DC, which means it’s probably more like 115 downtown. That’s too hot to do anything, but especially in a suit and tie.

“It’s cool in here, but yes, I’ll probably be miserable the second I step foot outside.” You spread peanut butter on one English muffin and jam on another, laughing softly when a thought comes to you.

“Too bad you don’t have as much flexibility with your dress code as I do.”

At the start of this heatwave last week, you’d asked Aaron—after much nervous deliberation—if you could wear shorts and tank tops around the house instead of your usual jeans and a t-shirt or sweater. Your so-called uniform was self-imposed, because he’d told you from the start you could dress however you were comfortable, but you didn’t want him to get the wrong idea. You weren’t trying to show off your body, or tempt or tease, or anything like that; you were just extremely hot, especially playing outside with Jack.

He had agreed, of course, that you should dress for the weather, and that shorts and tank tops were fine. He also reminded you that you could use the pool whenever you wanted, whether he was home or not, and just thinking about taking a dip later is enough to make you sigh in relief.

“I don’t think anyone would be interested in seeing me in an outfit like that,” he jokes—sometimes people can’t tell when he’s joking, because he’s so dry, but you’re familiar with his humor by now—and you laugh again. It earns you a smile.

“I think it’s more important that you’re comfortable than what people think when they see you in something, but it would probably be a little distracting.” You’ve seen him in his swim trunks on more than one occasion, most recently with no shirt to accompany them, and you can attest to being very distracted that day. You were supposed to be keeping an eye on Jack, and you did, would never put him in danger, but your eyes had also been following the drops of water that dripped from Aaron’s hair, down his throat, over his chest…

You had been hot for more than one reason that day, and your butterflies moved a little bit lower.

You shake your head of those thoughts quickly, glance around you to see that Jack is still not in the kitchen. You sigh, and put the peanut butter muffin on a paper napkin, hand it to Aaron.

“I’m going to go get him, but have a good day, okay? Try to stay cool; maybe you can take a swim tonight when it’s not so hot.”

“Good idea. Maybe you can join me if you’re still here.” That was sweet of him to offer. You smile at his kindness, brush a hand over your head. You wish your hair wasn’t all over the place, clinging to the sweat on your neck, your temples, but humidity is not your friend. He doesn't seem to mind.

“Thanks, maybe I will.” He gathers his things to head out, and you steel yourself and head to Jack’s room, scoop him up, giggling, into your arms, and plop him down for breakfast.

The two of you spend the day inside, because even swimming is a nightmare when the sun is beating down the way it is. You play with Legos, watch a movie, do some coloring pages, and play learning games on his iPad.

At around three, Aaron texts you, lets you know he won’t be home tonight because of a case, and you mentally plan out a small, easy dinner for you and Jack, then a little more playtime, then bed for Jack and a swim for you after.

You tuck him in, turn on his nightlight, and close the door behind you, then head to your room to change into your bathing suit.

You usually wear a purple one piece with shorts over it, something you can play with Jack in without worrying about anything falling out, so you’re surprised to find a pale blue, floral print bikini on your bed—a very tiny bikini—with a sticky note on the tag.

Went shopping for Jack and this made me think of you. I hope you like it. - Aaron

The first two things to pop into your head are, it was so sweet of him to think of you while out shopping, and you’re really glad he’s not here to see you in it, because it only half-covers all the things it’s supposed to cover. You double check the tag, but it’s the right size, so it must just be the intended design. Your cheeks flush hot, but it also makes you feel good, to be wearing so little. Kind of wrong, but good in a way you can’t explain.

You grab a couple of beach towels and step out into the slightly cooler night air, sigh at the feel of it on so much of your skin. You lay out your towels on the lounge chair by the edge of the pool—maybe you’ll lay there and read or play on your phone after your swim—and then step into the pool.

The water is still so warm, and the contrast between it and the breeze that blows across the surface has goosebumps breaking out across your skin. You dip your head under the water, let your hair fall loose and luxuriously wet after being twisted up all day long, and when you open your eyes Aaron is standing at the edge of the pool; you gasp, startled by his sudden appearance, and then laugh lightly.

“Oh my god, you scared me. I thought you weren’t going to be home tonight?” You swim closer to the edge so you can see him better, and he crouches down to your level. He’s taken off his jacket and tie, loosened the collar of his shirt and rolled up his sleeves; your heart races a little at his proximity, and all the dark hair you’re presented with.

“Change of plans, we weren’t needed after all. I texted you, but I see your phone is over there; I’m sorry I scared you.” He looks you over, something calculating in his gaze, and then smiles softly. “You’re wearing the swimsuit I bought you. Do you like it?”

You can feel yourself flush, because you hadn’t anticipated him being home to see you in it, but there’s nothing you can do about that now.

“Yes, I like it. It’s pretty. Thank you.” He must be able to sense your apprehension, because he tilts his head curiously.

“If you don’t like it, you can tell me. It won’t hurt my feelings. Don’t be shy.”

“It’s not that I don’t like it, I love it. That was so sweet of you.” You reach out a hand to rest on his arm, don’t want him to feel like you aren’t grateful. “It’s just a little… revealing.” He makes a soft noise of contemplation, reaches out to brush his fingers over your shoulder, over the strap.

“I was a little worried about that. Why don’t you get out of there and let me see? I can let you know if I think it’s too much.” You appreciate that he’d do that for you, and you respect his opinion, but you feel really exposed in it—and you’re not sure why that makes you feel so uncomfortable and so good at the same time.

Sure, he’s the most handsome man you’ve ever seen in your life, but there’s no way he’d ever look at you as anything other than the sitter. You’re just too… innocent.

All the same, you nod your head and lift yourself up out of the pool; Aaron moves back, helps you up, and guides you over to the lounge chair. He sits, and you stand.

From there, he looks slowly over your body; he lingers over your breasts, your hips, then asks you to turn so he can see the back. You swallow, self-conscious under his gaze.

“Have you ever been this undressed in front of a man?” he asks, his voice low, and your breath hitches. “I can tell you’re nervous, that’s all.”

“Um. Once,” you say, flushing. He hums, brushes a hand down the length of your arm, and you feel a chill. You turn back to face him, and he pats the lounge chair, encouraging you to sit next to him. You sit, cross legged, facing him, nervous, but… also not; it’s hard to explain.

“Were you completely naked?” The way he asks it is so casual, but being naked isn’t casual for you; you can barely bring yourself to think about being naked, let alone talk about it. With your employer.

But something about the way he asks it makes you want to answer, at the same time, and there’s almost no one you trust more than Aaron. He’s always been so good to you.

“No. I left something on.” It had been a bra, gray with a pink bow in the middle. You were more comfortable keeping it on, and your ex-boyfriend hadn’t cared. He hadn’t cared about much, it turns out.

“Was it during sex?” The way the word sounds coming out of his mouth makes you anxious, and excited; you can’t believe you’re having this conversation, and you also don’t want it to end.

“Yes, during... sex.” He nods, brings a hand to your cheek and brushes your wet hair back, tucks it behind your ear. Your heart is beating so fast you’re surprised the world around you is still so calm, quiet. Intimate.

“How many times have you had sex, sweet girl?” You close your eyes, embarrassed. You don’t want him to know how innocent you really are, not when he’s so much older and more experienced. He’ll laugh.

Then again, this is Aaron, and he’s only ever made you feel cared about and safe before. So maybe he won’t?

“Um. One time.”

“Just one time? That’s surprising to me; you’re so beautiful.” You shiver, maybe from being wet with the breeze on your skin, or maybe because he brushes his fingers over your lips, or maybe because he called you beautiful. No one’s ever called you beautiful. “Did it feel good?”

You’d wanted it to feel good; it did, for maybe a minute, and you think about that minute all the time, especially when you… when you slip your hand into your panties at night in your bed, thinking about Aaron’s broad shoulders, his thick forearms, his hands, his mouth...

“Kind of. And then no.” His hand freezes and he frowns. His voice is abruptly less low, more serious. There’s a wrinkle between his eyebrows you want to reach out and touch.

“Did he hurt you?” It had hurt, but you know he hadn’t meant for it to hurt. He wasn’t mean. He was just so eager to finish that once he started, he’d stopped caring if you were feeling good, so focused on his own body. You figured that’s just how guys are, and it made you never want to do it again—so you didn’t.

“Not on purpose,” is what you say. He covers your hand with his, big and warm and careful. You’ve always felt so comforted by his touch, and tonight is no exception.

“What happened?”

“It started quickly and ended quickly. I don’t think I was… prepared.” You’re blushing, hoping he understands your indirect statement so you don’t have to say it out loud. He rubs his thumb soothingly over the back of your hand, reaches up with the other to touch your flushed cheek.

“You weren’t wet?” You exhale, a little shaky, tell him no. “Are you wet now, sweetheart?” You’re almost ashamed to say, but he is asking...

“Very.” It’s just a whisper, but it makes him smile a little, touch your mouth again. You could get used to that.

“Good girl. Can I feel?” That gives you pause, for a moment, but thinking of him touching you where you’ve imagined for months—it’s too good of a prospect to pass up, no matter how nervous you are. You nod, and he moves his hand inside your swimsuit bottoms, brushes over your core, slips between your lips easily. He never takes his eyes off of yours. “It would feel really good to have sex now. Do you want to try again? You’re always taking such good care of us; I want to take care of you.”

You bite your lip, and he leans in slowly, presses his mouth to yours for a gentle kiss. You make a soft noise of pleasure, tilt your hips so you’re sliding over his hand, and he groans—it’s honestly one of the best sounds you’ve ever heard in your life. It means he wants you… never in a million years would you have guessed that.

“I want to try,” you breathe, and you feel bold, so you kiss him this time. He pulls you close, deepens the kiss, adds tongue, and you moan at the feel, clinging to his shirt. “Aaron.”

“Let’s go to my bedroom,” he says, voice low, and he moves his fingers up to the part of you that makes you shake with desperate need, rubs tight circles so you’re panting, chest heaving; you nod quickly and he picks you up, hand still moving inside your swimsuit, carries you to the sliding glass door and pushes it open with his elbow.

You assume you’ll head straight for the bedroom, but he stops in the kitchen, sets you on the counter and kisses you again, a little harder than you’ve experienced before; you love it, try your best to match the way his mouth moves, and his fingers press hard against your aching bud, making you gasp with pleasure.

“Have you ever had an orgasm?” he asks, a little breathless himself, and you smooth your fingers through his hair.

“Um. I think so. From touching myself like this.” He moves his fingers faster, and you press your palm against the counter for support, move your hips against his hand. It feels so good, so much better than when you do it that you could cry.

“Has someone else ever given you an orgasm?” You use the fingers in his hair to bring him to you for a kiss, something you both moan softly into.

“No. I want-I want you to be the first,” you murmur, and he closes his eyes, exhales through his nose, and lifts you up again, this time carrying you to his bedroom and setting you on your feet by the bed. He looks down at you with eyes so dark and gorgeous, then asks if he can remove what little clothing you have on. You tell him yes, and he pushes down the bottoms, which you step carefully out of.

When his hands move to the top, you hesitate, always self-conscious about this; he leans in and presses delicious kisses to your neck, your shoulders, slides the straps down, and looks up at you with caring, gentle eyes. You nod, and he pulls your top off, too, leaving you completely naked in front of someone for the first time in your life.

It’s such a rush, you wish he hadn’t waited so long to initiate this.

“You are so incredibly beautiful,” he says, and with the way he‘s looking at you, you actually believe it. He takes your face in his hands, kisses your lips, then moves down your throat again, your chest—he pays your nipples a bit of attention, flicking his tongue, scraping his teeth, and your mouth falls open in a silent moan. “So perfect.”

He puts his hands all over your body, sweeping over your arms, your waist, and he presses kisses to your stomach, your hips, your thighs. You want his mouth where his fingers were, but you don’t ask; it’s almost like he knows anyway, when he looks up at you from his knees.

“Has anyone ever tasted you?” You shake your head, and he puts his hands on your butt, squeezes softly, and guides you to lay back on the bed. “I want you to tell me how it feels, okay?”

Normally, you’re quiet out of necessity, because when you aren’t here you have an apartment you share with a roommate—even though most of the time, you sleep here whether you’re strictly required to or not. You’re quiet here too, because you’ve never wanted Aaron to know how he makes you feel, although now you’re really wishing you’d have found out sooner that he feels the same way. Imagine all the cool, quiet nights you could have spent on this bed, in his arms…

Shaking yourself out of the fantasy—because reality is literally happening, and it’s so much better—you nod, and he carefully spreads your thighs, leans in to tease his tongue along your slit, light and wet.

“Oh. Aaron.” He looks up, reaches a hand forward to twine your fingers together, and you squeeze them, moaning when he dips again, this time pressing his tongue inside you where you’re wettest. “Oh my-oh my god.” He leans in to press damp kisses to your lower belly.

“That’s right, sweetheart. I want you to come on my tongue—come on my tongue, don’t be shy.” Again, he slides it inside, brings his free hand up to rub you, and it’s not long before you do as he asks, shaking and tightening your grip on his hand. You’re almost embarrassed by how loud you are, but he is nothing but sweet when he comes up, whispers in your ear how well you did for him, how pleased he is to be the first to make you moan like that, to taste you.

He kisses your mouth so you can taste yourself, and groans when you reach for his head, hold him closer.

“Thank you,” you murmur, shaky, when the kiss breaks, and he rubs over your lips with his thumb like he did before, smiles softly.

“You don’t have to thank me, sweet girl. I told you I wanted to take care of you; I’m just so glad you let me.” You move your hands to the front of his shirt and rest them there, hoping he’ll take the hint, but he just gets a glimmer in his eye that makes the butterflies flutter low despite your very recent release. “Don’t be shy. Tell me what you want.” You flush, don’t know how to ask a man—especially a man like Aaron—to get naked for you. “Oh, there’s that blush. My sweet, innocent girl. You haven’t even been properly fucked, of course you don’t know how to ask for what you want. But I’ll teach you.”

He sits up, hovering over your body, gets his fingers on the buttons of his shirt and starts to slip them free. He has to unzip his pants to untuck it, and the sight and sound of that makes you whimper—you immediately tense, feel shame at being so vocal, but he just leans in to kiss you, soft and slow.

“You can’t wait for me to be naked too, can you? You want to see what a man looks like, feel what a man feels like. Don’t you?”

“Yes.” It comes out roughly, almost too low for even you to hear; you clear your throat and try again. “Yes, Aaron.” It earns you a slightly harder kiss, and he climbs off the bed to undress the rest of the way; your eyes are drawn to his erection as soon as it’s exposed, and he looks at you with nothing less than lust in his eyes. It makes you shiver and want to open your legs for him again.

“You’re staring. Have you touched a cock before—stroked it with your hand?”

“No. Can I?” you ask, sitting up against the pillows, and he nods, moves next to you, and takes your hand. You’re intimidated by the size of him, all the more so when he wraps your fingers around it, covers them with his, and strokes.

“Feels so good, baby,” he rumbles, slinging his free hand around your hip and holding you close to his body. He is so… just good looking, so different from your ex-boyfriend, from guys your age, and you look up at his face while you touch him, hoping to bring him even half as much pleasure as he brought you. Your eyes flick back down, though, after a short time, transfixed by the wet head disappearing into your fist. “Hmm. Good girl. Do you want to try putting your mouth on it?”

God, do you want to try that. You want to know what it tastes like, feels like on your tongue; you nod, scoot back a little so you can bend over him, and he puts his hands on your head, slowly guides your open mouth to hover over him.

“Careful with your teeth, and keep me nice and wet, okay? We'll go slowly.” He pushes your hair back from your face so he can see you better, which is sweet, and you nod, close your lips around him, let him show you how he wants you to do it.

He feels so big in your mouth, and you remember to be careful, to be wet, like he said. He’s not making you take him deeply, just a couple of inches, and when you’re not so nervous it feels really good, the weight of him against your tongue, his gentle hands teaching you what to do. It makes you feel useful, learning how he likes to be pleasured, and you enjoy finding ways to make yourself useful to Aaron.

“Perfect, perfect. Just like that—you’re doing great, sweetheart.” You hum around him, pleased that it feels good for him, and you’re stricken with the urge to feel him spilling into your mouth, but he groans and offers something even more intriguing. “Would you like to come sit in my lap? I want to press into your warm, tight, sweet pussy; I promise it will feel good, not like last time.” You make another noise, something eager, and he pulls you off and gets his hands on your waist, brings you up to rest against his thighs.

“Will it hurt?” you ask, just in case. You hadn’t thought to ask that last time. “You’re big; what if it doesn’t fit?” You look up at him, and warm, tender eyes peer into yours.

“It won’t hurt, and it will fit, I promise. We’ll make it fit. Lean up.” You stretch up a little, press your hands to his shoulders, and he rubs his hands soothingly over your body, kisses your chest, and then dips a finger inside you; you grip him tightly, moan, hold still while he moves it in and out, then adds another. “How does that feel? Don’t be shy.”

“Feels-feels good,” you breathe, and he pumps them together which feels so incredible, so new. He brings his free hand to your butt and squeezes softly.

“Good girl. I’m adding another. You’re so wet, it shouldn’t be a problem, but tell me if it’s uncomfortable.” The third finger makes you feel like you’re full up, a little snug, but you know you’ll need to get used to it if you want him inside; you breathe, will yourself to only feel the good, remind yourself that this isn’t like last time. Aaron is being so good to you; he won’t stop being good to you.

“Aaron.” It’s a gasp, a plea, a question, and he answers it by pulling his fingers out, putting his hands on your hips, and lining his cock up at your entrance, lowering you slowly onto it. You pant, moan as it slides in; it feels tight to you, and you’re so incredibly full, but his hands feel like safety and you’re not worried. He’s always taken care of you; he wouldn’t hurt you.

“You’re perfect, you’re doing so good. You feel so good.” He squeezes you, stretches up to brush his lips over yours. “We’re going to make you come again; I’ll give you the best night of your life, I promise.”

“Of course you will. This is already the best night of my life,” you murmur, wrapping your arms around his neck, and he kisses you harder; you can feel his hands tighten, and it doesn’t hurt, only makes you want more, rougher. You feel filthy for wanting that, but it’s Aaron, and you want any and everything he wants to give; you also want him to take anything he wants to take.

He moves your body up and down, a show of strength that makes you moan, just a string of desperate sounds you’re a little embarrassed of; he appreciates the noises you make, though, if the way he grips you is any indication, his eyes determined as he makes you bounce on his cock.

“Oh, yes baby, just like that. How does it feel, sweet girl?”

“Mmh, good, so good, so good,” you sigh, your butt making contact with his firm thighs each time he brings you down on him. “Feels so good to be… to have it inside me.”

Aaron hums, frowns just slightly.

“Tell me what it is, baby. Your innocent little mouth can be dirty for me, this once. What feels good? What’s inside you?” His voice is a little tense, like maybe he wants to finish, but he doesn't change a thing, doesn’t hurt you so he can get there faster. You sink your teeth into your bottom lip, curl fingers into his hair.

“Your… It’s your cock, Aaron. Your cock feels so good inside me.” You’ve thought the word, never said it aloud, but it makes him groan deeply, so you vow to say it again at some point just to savor that reaction.

“Yes it does, yes it does. Feels so good inside your perfect pussy, my perfect, sweet girl.” His hands move you faster, and you want to help now that you know this is how he likes it; when the two of you work together, it’s quicker thrusts, harder thrusts, your breasts bouncing along with the rest of your body and making you feel filthy, indecent. Amazing.

You lean in for a kiss, and Aaron turns it into something deep and decadent, delicious; you pass moans back and forth, holding tightly to him, the both of you breaking a sweat even in the cool air. You’re so close, so close to the ultimate pleasure you felt with his head between your legs, and you can hear your moans change, eager, needy things.

“Aaron please. Please.” You take his face in your hands, look into his eyes, bounce on him and kiss him and plead for release against his lips, and he holds you so tightly and climaxes, spilling inside you and pumping up into you, breathless.

“Oh, good girl, you did that. You made me come, baby. Not so innocent anymore, are you?” You shake your head—you don’t feel innocent anymore, you feel good, you want more, want to chase the feelings you’ve felt tonight, including the one still building inside you. “Now let’s get you off. I want to feel it.” He digs his fingers into your hips, so hard you think it might bruise, but in your heightened state of arousal it just feels good; you keep moving until your orgasm takes control of you, makes you grip his hair hard in your fingers and slam yourself down on him.

“Yes, yes, mmm.” He brings a hand to your face, softly catches your jaw, and guides you to make eye contact while you ride him through it until you are both spent, sinking against the bed. He sweeps his hands over your body, kisses you softly, and you melt at his touch. “That was so incredible. Thank you.”

“I told you, you don’t have to thank me. I wanted to take care of you; been wanting that for some time,” he admits easily, touching your cheek. “I’m just glad I could give you a good experience after the bad one.”

“Good doesn’t even begin to cover it.” Your voice is light, low, because saying things like this, talking about sex, is still so new to you. “I love being here for you, helping you with Jack, and anything else you need. Do you think you’ll want or need me like this again?”

“Oh, I don’t see how I could do without, if it’s something you want. Although I may have to return that swimsuit. It is pretty indecent,” he says with a somewhat guilty smile.

You figured as much, and for the first time tonight you feel very confident when you say, “No, I think I’d like to keep it.”

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[mimzy-writing-online]

Writing Toph Beifong, Advice from a Blind Writer

I’m Mimzy, an actual visually impaired writer and blogger who talks a lot about writing blind characters accurately and sensitively. A while back someone sent me an anon asking how to write Toph more accurately and sensitively.

Anonymous asked: Hi there! Your blog has been super-helpful already - I thought I knew a bit about writing with blind characters, but it turns out there was a lot to learn - but this is more specific. I'm writing a The Last Airbender fanfiction, and one of the characters is Toph. I think the fandom has done a fairly good job of respecting her blindness, but what are some things you'd like to see when people write her? I want to represent the character as best as possible; thanks in advance!

It’s taken a while for me to answer because I have a lot of thoughts about it as both a blind writer and someone who has read a lot of atla fanfiction. So here we go:

Before we get started, I want to mention some things: 

One: I have an entire series for writing blind characters that continues to grow with time and the most up-to-date version can be found pinned as the top post on my blog. There will be a time-stamp for when the post was last edited and a long series of links to all relevant posts on the subject.

Here’s a quick link to that post, but again, all you have to do is click my blog url and you’ll find it immediately.

Two: I’ve noticed something amazing about the atla fandom and I would like to thank you for it. I’ve noticed a lot of bloggers have taken to writing image descriptions for both the fanart and memes you post in the fandom, whether it’s OP including the description or another blogger adding it themselves. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a fandom so consistently doing this and that’s incredible. Realizing how many different blogs were picking up this habit has warmed my heart.

I’d like to see writers use her other senses. There’s soooo so much more to her O&M (Orientation and Mobility) than earth sense. 

Beyond sight and earth bending, there’s hearing, touch, smell, taste, sense of direction, hot vs cold, sense of pain, sense of where your body parts are in relation to the rest of you, sense of internal well-being, etc. Before Toph had mastery of her earth bending, she had to have mastery of those too.

Toph also must have very strong opinions about certain smells, sounds, tastes, and textures. Toph is opinionated about everything, and when so much of your understanding of the world depends on senses that most people are ignoring in favor of some other sense you don’t have, it gets frustrating. I’m sure that tree looks pretty but the smell is terrible. Who cares if this fabric looks pretty, it’s scratchy, do. not. like. at. all.

But also in positive ways too. Oh, that flower arrangement looks bland and monochromatic? Who cares, it smells sweet and honey-like. Weird dark cavern with high ceiling and no light? The harmonics are awesome.

Every character probably has a certain sight or image they’re particularly fond of: Katara watching snow fall, or Aang enjoying how small the world looks from up on Appa, or Zuko enjoying the sunrise every morning during meditation. In that line, Toph must have some things personal to her that she enjoys.

I imagine she likes the taste of foods familiar to her childhood, the smell of whatever flowers grew around her home, and the texture of certain kinds of dirt Example: loose dirt probably isn’t the best for seeing, but I think she would enjoy how it feels to run her fingers through it or maybe enjoy the way it softens her perception of the world the same way sighted people like to see colorful, bright lights reflecting off puddles in the middle of rain.

If you struggle with this, that’s okay. I recommend taking some time to think about it for yourself, to find what tastes and smells and textures and sounds you enjoy the most, what makes you feel safe and at home, what brings you comfort, and relate that back to Toph.

In a Modern AU, I want to see Toph have a cane. Even in a Modern AU with bending included in the world building, I think Toph would benefit from having a cane.

The cane has a lot more function than bumping into things. A big part is that it signals to others that you are very obviously blind. Which is a big deal because sighted people are really, really bad at spotting the blind person.

(psst, please stop saying ‘the blank look in her eyes’ because I swear to god it’s been killing me inside for years.)

Also, even in an AU with bending, I think Toph would like the advantage of tapping her cane to create a stronger, more distinct vibration than a small shifting of her weight on her feet. It would have more control.

You could give Toph a guide animal, buuuuuuut, um, Toph is not a guide dog person. Like, there are some people who definitely prefer a guide dog, and some people who definitely prefer a cane, and some who definitely prefer no mobility device at all. Toph does not have the vibes of someone who wants to be both responsible and reliant on an animal when she’s so insistent that she can take care of herself on her own. Toph likes animals, but not that much.

Although, yeah, only 10% of the blind community use mobility devices, so cane and guide dog users are the minority of the blind community, but I stand by the vibe that Toph would love the independence of a cane. Also, it’s almost never ever done. Modern AUs never seem to touch much on Toph’s O&M skills with canes or guide dogs.

I wrote a whole post on everything you need to know about canes, what orientation and mobility is, how you learn O&M, what kind of canes exist, how to use them, how to describe the sensory input a cane gives you, and everything I know about guide dogs from past research.

Honestly, you could give Toph (or any blind character) a cane in any AU, because I fully stand by the theory that canes are a piece of technology that has been invented, lost, and reinvented again and again.

I wrote “I found a piece of lost blindness history” a few months ago after a visit to see my grandparents. My grandmother told me how her blind aunt found a way to write letters by hand to send to my grandmother when she was a child. I speculated on how the long cane has probably been invented and then lost and then reinvented over and over again in history, as well as giving a little history on the growing popularity of guide dogs in the 20th century following World War 1.

About the “blank look in her eyes,” I have a theory to the exact cause and nature of Toph’s blindness.

I know it’s common to think that the milky green color of her eyes is why she’s blind, though I’m not sure how many realize that milky green color is caused by severe cataracts. At least, cataracts is what I assume to be the reason for the color of her eyes. However, people with cataracts still have some remaining sense of light and shadow perception.

Only 9% of the blind community is completely blind, seeing absolutely nothing. The rest have some remaining vision, even if that’s only light and shadow perception or the perception of vague movement.

The percentage of people born completely blind is even smaller.

Toph says that she’s never been able to see, which would lead me to guess that the initial cause of her blindness was a defect with the visual processing part of her brain. I also theorize that the cataracts developed slowly over her very formative years and that she likely wasn’t born with them. For that reason, I think it would have taken a few weeks or months for her parents to realize there was something wrong with her eyes.

Here is a post about the developmental years of blind children and how their life would differ from both sighted children and from someone who went blind as an adult.

What is it like to see nothing?

It’s a concept that sighted people struggle with and I completely understand. I myself didn’t understand the concept of “nothing” until someone explained it as this:

“Imagine trying to see out the back of your head.”

Which, genuinely, imagine that. Try that. Because here’s what I found. There’s no part of my body that can help perceive that. I don’t have eyes there, nor do I have a part of my brain that can process that. Because of this, there is no sense of light or dark, no shape or shadow or movement or depth that I can perceive. There is nothing.

And honestly, it gives me a headache trying to think too much about it.

Toph doesn’t see black, doesn’t have a mental image of it. When people talk about light and dark, Toph has nothing to base the concept on. The closest relation she has to that is silence versus sound, or her earth sense when she’s in the air on Appa versus when she’s on solid ground. But it’s not the same.

I would like to examine the way the show tried to describe Toph’s earth sense, that black void with ripples of white stretching from her feet and outwards. Television is a visual medium so of course their explanation of Toph’s earth sense would be visual, but that’s not what it’s actually like in her head. More accurately, it’s like touching the back of your head to something and feeling what’s solid behind it and what has more give. A wall versus a pillow for example. Slamming your hand on a flimsy table and feeling it rattle under your palm. And for someone so adept at using that sense, she feels not just the table surface under her palm, but the individual rattles down the four legs, how uneven those rattles are because the legs are carved decoratively instead of solid planks, and how the foot of each leg bumps against the ground, and how the floor vibrates in response to the impact, which she feels in both her feet and hand. 

About Toph’s Relationship with Her Parents

It’s not something I see touched on much. There’s been a lot of focus on Zuko and Azula’s relationship with their parents and the abuse, as well as exploration of Sokka and Katara’s trauma with losing their mother, and Sokka looking up to his warrior father while Katara struggles with her abandonment issues.

Please don’t take this as a critique, because there are a few valid reasons for this and I would like to give you some insight on how to explore Toph’s relationship with her parents.

For starters, the show had a lot more reason to focus on Zuko and Azula’s parents, with Fire Lord Ozai being the primary villain and Zuko’s greatest abuser, and Azula’s dependent worship of her father in response to Ursa’s neglect and favoritism of Zuko, which was likely Ursa’s response to Ozai’s favoritism of Azula. Their parents are huge driving motivators for why Zuko and Azula make the decisions and mistakes they do, why they are at one point in the show the villains themselves. (And why I think Azula should get a redemption arc and some healing.)

Katara’s trauma of losing her mother and blaming herself is a huge factor in both her response to the war, her relationship with her bending, and her motherly nature with her friends. The show has to explore that. Just as it has to explore Sokka’s problems with toxic masculinity in response to being the man of his village, and his desire to be a great warrior and leader like the father he idolizes. 

The show needs to explore that to make the plot move forward, and it benefits from these being two sibling sets with different responses to their upbringing and different sibling dynamics, setting them up as foils for each other.

The show also wouldn’t benefit by giving Lao and Poppy Beifong more screen time. Their established character were two nobles who kept as far out of the war as possible and prospered monetarily for it. Poppy was polite and demure and Lao liked to lead the conversation. Unless the gAang decided to return to Toph’s home, those characters had no reason to pop up anywhere in the show. And if they did, they would be a hinder to Toph and her part in the plot as both Aang’s earth bending teacher and as the greatest earth bender in the world, tossing Fire Nation soldiers eight ways to Sunday. 

So truly, I understand that there’s not a whole lot of canon material (comparatively) to go off of when developing this, but I will offer some insight on what is there in canon.

Toph’s relationship with her parents is explored in that it maps out why Toph doesn’t want to be mothered by Katara, why she wants to prove how independent she is, but there’s very little on screen interaction between Toph and her parents.

Toph deeply loves her parents. I think that plays into why she doesn’t want Katara mothering her, because she has a wonderful mother at home who she loves and wants to better understand her, but she had no friends growing up and no older sister, which are the roles she needs and wants Katara to fill. If Toph wanted a mother figure, she would have latched onto Katara. Look at how Zuko never sought out another mother figure but did find a father figure in Iroh as he began to heal from his childhood trauma and separate his self image from his father’s acceptance.

Toph is in a complicated situation, she loves her parents but the way they’re raising her is hurting her in the long run. But Toph can see that their actions are because of their immense love for her. She can see how they would do anything for her. While she never had any examples of how other noble children were treated by their parents, who might have been distant or disinterested or always away for their social and work lives, she was remarkably loved by her parents. Her father put careful thought into her tutors and checked in on her progress. Her mother feared for Toph’s emotional state when she was kidnapped (even if she was incorrect about how Toph would respond), showing genuine empathy for her daughter.

I think their over protective nature became the love language Toph best understood them by, and part of her reasoning for not revealing how capable she was, was because she wanted to keep experiencing that love and care for as long as she could. But it’s not a love language she would put up with from anyone else.

I would like to point out Toph’s genuine excitement to see her mom again in the season finale of Book Two, how badly Toph wants her mom to understand and accept her for who she is.

My thoughts on what Toph can’t do: read, swim, see in the sand, fight things mid-air.

For how incredibly powerful the show makes Toph with her earth bending and the O&M she taught herself through it, they do touch on some of her weaknesses when they come up and find a useful way to showcase them.

The Serpent’s Pass was an excellent example of Toph’s vulnerability in water. From her fear of not being able to see on Katara’s ice bridge to not being able to swim and needing Suki to save her, Toph’s weaknesses putting her in danger added to the excitement and “sitting on the edge of your seat” feeling while watching the episode without turning her into someone who was helpless. She was just in a position where her normal defenses were useless.

Just like the earth benders in the metal prison in the ocean, or Katara having little water in the middle of a desert where her friends needed that water to survive more than she needed it to fight, making her vulnerable later in the show when the insect-wasp things attacked. Just like fire benders being weaker at night, or powerless during a solar eclipse, or a sighted person being lost in the dark. Those were just situations in which the tools you were accustomed to relying on could no longer help you or were taken away.

The show was clever in that it didn’t make her inability to read a direct threat to her safety, but rather as a clever plot device for her to be alone when the sand banders attacked and have to choose between fighting them to save Appa, or holding back an entire fricking building by the tiniest spire on its very top from falling into a void leading to the spirit world. It also showed her weakness to not being able to see or fight as well in sand. Which the show later made an effort to show how she’d improved on that problem in Book Three when she was surrounded by nothing but sand at Ember Island.

Like improving her ability to see in the sand, I would like to see a character teach Toph to swim, or at least float, so that she never feels helpless again. If she took the initiative to improve her sand bending so much, I’m sure she would have learn to swim eventually.

And on the note of reading, I’ve seen some speculation on how Toph could learn to read, whether it’s through using ink that has some percentage of earth mixed in, or developing the sensitivity to feel out the different weight, consistency, and texture of ink on paper. 

I would like to bring your attention to Louis Braille, the blind Frenchman who invented Braille while studying at  the Institut National des Jeunes Aveugles, the world’s very first school for the blind in Paris France (established 1785). Previously Louis was learning to read through a method in which each letter was pressed into the paper to leave an imprint that someone could feel out with just their fingers.

Louis Braille concluded that raised lettering was impractical because-

1.       It is difficult to read, the letters had to be printed in huge font to be fully felt out and printed on thick paper.

2.       Thick paper means higher quality, more expensive. Larger font means more paper is needed for a single text.

3.       This made it inaccessible due to expense and the sheer volume of a text.

4.       If today’s Braille books are hard to access and giant compared to traditional books, I can’t imagine how inaccessible those raised letter books really were.

The subject of Braille, the start and controversial near downfall to  Institut National des Jeunes Aveugles were discussed in a post about writing a blind character during the Victorian Era.

I’ve heard others complain in the past about fantasy universes in which a sighted person invents a solution to allow the blind to read, when the most effective and longest lived method was invented by a blindman over two hundred years ago and is the standard taught in schools today.

And while I couldn’t easily explain it or how it works because I can neither read Braille nor speak Chinese, I can tell you that Chinese Braille exists and works only slightly differently from the Braille western languages use. So, again, modern AUs especially would benefit from enabling Toph to read Braille and use a computer and phone with screen reader.

But just as easily you could choose not to have her learn to read but rather have sighted people read things aloud to her. Whether it’s in a professional setting as an adult having an assistant who reads and writes for her, or as a cute, fluffy little moment between Toph and another character. Both are just as genuine to the blindness experience.

Blind Jokes

If you ever get around to reading my post about blind jokes, I’d like you to remember that it’s primarily written for people writing original characters and that Toph canonically makes blind jokes, so to take away from that would not be true to her character.

Does Toph’s Earth Sense Negate her Blindness?

It’s a question I’ve seen raised before and discussed by both abled, disabled, and blind people. There are multiple perspectives on it, but my own take on it is that Toph’s earth bending does not negate her blindness, but rather functions very much like the process of learning to use a cane.

She had a tool, a teacher, and she learned to use that tool. Instead of a cane, it was seismic perception and her teacher were blind badger-moles. She spent years learning to earth bend as they do and then continued to take it to new heights as she explored fighting with it on her terms against sighted fighters.

Come to think about it, I would love to see Toph teach another visually impaired or blind earth bender who to see and bend as she does.

Is Toph Good Blindness Representation?

This question was posed to me in the comments of my master post, and my answer was something like this: “Toph is good representation, but she can't be the only type of representation we get. She's the best we had 15 years ago, but there are a million ways to nuance the blindness experiences. Toph's experience being born blind, having very over protective parents, being a small girl in a patriarical and wealth influenced society, having no friends growing up. Those are all great aspects of blindness to show, but there is so much more to explore. As for her blindness and whether or not that's negated, that's also nuanced. She has limits, she's not all-powerful, but she is the best earth bender hands down. More or less, I love Toph, she's a great character, give me like a million more blind characters who are completely different from her.”

I want to see accurate and well-written blind characters become much more common in modern media, and that’s why I started this blog. So if you decide you want to write your own blind character from scratch, feel free to come back and look at some of my other stuff.

End Notes:

I want to thank the anon who sent the original question because it never occurred to me how much the atla fandom would benefit from a post like this. 

You should follow my blog. Along with advice about writing blind characters, I write general writing advice and answer questions about writing, college, plot development, character analysis, and living with blindness. I curate writing advice from fellow writeblrs, write my own image descriptions for writing memes, post about mental health and working/living with ADHD, disabilities outside of blindness, and LGBTQA+ topics. 

[akria23]

“All this time I’ve always believe the soul connection and longing were exclusive for me and my brother. But now I know that particular feeling also happens for someone special to me.”

This to me was probably the most important piece of dialogue in reflection of White’s emotional growth. Whites emotional detachment has been spoken of previously in fandom, the way he engages in bonds with others yet doesn’t seem to actually have deep emotional ties with them. Even in his previous romantic relationship the emotional line was a bit cold and the breaking of that bond seem relatively easy for him. The only bond that we had seen (until his transference into the group) him allow himself to have a deep emotional tie with was his brother and even separation and time didn’t sever that way he held onto to that emotional line. Of course once he enters the group and meets Sean that changes - and I do think a part of that, Sean’s ability to capture his attention & interest, is due to the similarities of care at the time between Whites’s brother in the past (Black) & Sean. Because Sean, despite the bad blood, took care of - guided & protected - White in his early days of coming into the gang, heavy handed and much like Black use to. And I’ll touch on that again at a later date but we know that for just about his whole life White had always felt emotionally tied to his sibling in a way that he had never felt with others even to some point their own parents and that reality presented itself in the beginning and at times throughout his engagement with the other gang members. This moment of self awareness that he’s having is not just about how much he loves Sean, but a testament to just how emotionally vulnerable he’s made himself to Sean. I think the fact that he’s having this moment right before Black’s return is interesting because I don’t see Black celebrating this relationship. Black himself is even more emotionally reserved than his White. He may feel the emotions but he leads not with them but with ideologies.

So essentially we have this newly grown White who was on precipice of stepping into himself - into his own ideologies, his own strength, his own emotional development and now Black is back and White no longer holds the space that gave way for him to be able to do those things, come to those moments of self-growth. In some ways White had always walked a bit in Black’s shadow, but through actually walking in his shoes he’s started to find himself, find who he wanted White to be. The question now is will Black be the final obstacle he has to overcome to fully transform into this new White so to speak. Because I think this feeling of his brother being ‘a doppelgänger’ is not due to feeling Black is somehow different than he’d previously imagined or remembered. It’s because he, White himself, had changed physically, mentally, and emotionally. He loves his brother but Black isn’t the only thing he has to live for, or yearn for anymore.

[what-is-your-plan-today]

In honor of my beloved @joyfullymassivewhispers asking me these interesting questions, I thought I would do the same with some of my favorite writers. So, darling @what-is-your-plan-today could I trouble you to answer questions #9, #8, and #14?

The Happy Fic Writer Ask Game

1. What part of the writing process is the most enjoyable?

2. Talk about a favorite comment you received.

3. Have you received any bookmark notes? Which is your favorite and why?

4. Which comment has had the most impact on your writing?

5. Have you had a writer you admire comment on your fic? What was that like?

6. Describe what you do and your feelings after posting a chapter. (For example: When do you usually post a fic/chapter update? How do you celebrate a posting? Are you the type to refresh constantly?, etc.)

7. What do you love most about being a fic writer for your fandom?

8. Talk about any friends/connections you've made as a fic writer.

9. What inspired you to write your first fic?

10. Why do you continue writing fics?

11. Who is your favorite character(s) to write about and why?

12. What is your favorite theme/subject matter/trope/ship to write about? Why?

13. Describe your writing style. If you were to participate in an anonymous fic writers guessing game (like The Masked Author), what writing habits do you have that would be a dead giveaway that it's you?

14. Share a snippet.

8. Talk about any friends/connections you've made as a fic writer.

Wow, a lot. And you know what, through the pandemic it’s been a lifeline. @sweater-daddiesdumbdork @icanfeelastormbrewing @jennmurawski13-writes have all been part of my witches coven. Amber, Eva and I have spent plenty of evenings watching trash on tv ‘together’ (well, oceans separate us but we got the internet to love chat) and it’s awesome. So much so that Eva is heading over to visit me this year. And to @spectre-posts who has only recently joined us on here but has been a friend through Ao3 for a little while now, I also treasure her in equal measure.

There are also too many other people on here that I love, far too many. Of which, you are of course one. ❤️ You always comment, reblog, make me giggle, I love your writing and I’m immensely grateful

9. What inspired you to write your first fic?

Honestly? Boredom and bad mental health. Me and my husband had been rocked by the news we would never have children and I guess Stark Spangled was my outlet…which is why it’s probably so damned long. I was off work for a while, then when I was back I was away from home for a while and that thing just spilled out. I started writing it in 2018, then it was finished after Endgame which is also when I first published it.

Now I do it whenever some idea jumps in my head. And I have an unhealthy desire to fix both plot holes and character deaths- ain’t no Paul Diskant dying on my watch…

14. Share a snippet.

Okay…here’s something from the next chapter of Consciousness Of Guilt…

Andy’s hand was clasped around yours as you sat on the chair outside the radiographer room. You stole a glance at your husband as he sat, his eyes focusing on a spot a little way away.

You gave his fingers a gentle squeeze and he turned to you, smiling.

“Can you believe we’re here already?” You said softly, “five months?”

"No, to be honest," he said quietly. "It's flown." Andy gave your hand a squeeze in return and kissed the back of your hand.

It felt like time had stopped for you both and took ages for the nurse to call your name. The two of you stood and with his hand in your back, and yours on your bump, Andy guided you to the nurse waiting in the open doorway.

You were directed up onto the bed and got yourself comfortable as instructed and then smiled at the Doctor as Andy took a seat besides you. Once again, he fell silent and you knew why.

Today you found out if Baby Barber was pink or blue.

In all honesty, you’d been happy to leave the sex a total surprise. But when you’d asked Andy, he’d confessed he wanted to know. And he’d never admitted out loud why, but you knew. If it was a boy, he wanted to be prepared

Thanks for this ask. Loved it

[whetstonefires]

For the ask meme tell me about my blorbos-in-law: FFVII

This is really the ideal kind of fandom for an askgame like this, I feel--25 years old, active but not vigorous, a little sprawling and ungainly but not hopelessly vast. XD Because they are your in-laws I will explain more than usual so I'm not just blorbing at you.

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most) I...honestly don't know the answer to this. I have gone through assorted character-centric phases where there was a clear answer to this, and I am not in one now. I've been working on the next chapter of Top Guide this week which is heavily into being a Tifa pov fic, so I guess on a technicality the answer is presently a firm Tifa.

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped) I'm...okay, breaking it down, the thing is I think this is probably Cloud for me but I'm very uncomfortable with this because I'm a passionate enemy of the fandom trend toward infantilizing Cloud whenever he isn't actively being built up as The Kickass Protag. I hate that. Cloud was canonically already a rude asshole when he was 8. How do you people make 'shy twink' this dehumanizing and could you stop forever please, it's not even accurate. I might just go for Baby Sephiroth to sidestep the whole issue. I cannot resist small Sephiroth ever. I want to dress him up in little outfits.

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave) Lol Angeal Hewley. He's a major emotional lynchpin of the tragic prequel game but the Crisis Core writers just. Did not make time in their process to figure out what he was thinking or doing any time he was not actually onscreen. This despite the fact that he went through most of the epic emotional breakdown that takes him from 'Reliable Mentor Figure' to 'Forces You To Assist His Suicide With Your Sword' while offscreen. But they just. They didn't make an effort! He just pingpongs from one appearance to the next having a plot-driving mental health collapse with no psychological continuity whatsoever! His narcissist of a best friend who drives both the plot and the mental breakdown with his own crazed schemes gets his motives dug into in the course of investigating his ongoing crimes, and talks at grandiose emotional length about what he's doing and why, making him easy to relate to despite the vast gulf between 'what he's upset about' (being a genetic experiment misled by the corporate government and now dying of congenital problems) and 'what he's doing as a result' (mass murder) but Angeal is like. Conspicuously a narrative prop. He's like those dogs they put in movies just to kill them off cheap, except he also talks and has a Legacy and emotional torment and shit. It's hilarious. He is my boy. ...Tifa also in a different way, tho. But I already did jyl in that mode.

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week) Okay so because of the format of this series anyone who appears in more than one installment is a fan favorite, either because squeenix only brought them back due to their popularity or because everyone got so excited to see them again. So I'm gonna be like...people who probably won't be in the Remake but I wish. Let's see. There's these two brown young women with ponytails in the Corelian refugee camp who have the same sprite model and live in different shanties, one of them with a little child and old man who don't look related, and in my head they're sisters and I made up a lot of vibes about their family situations. I want them to recognizably turn up and actually be sisters. Not going to happen lol. More attainably, I like those kids in Kalm who talk about the ongoing ecological collapse and their conflicted feelings on it more straightforwardly than any of the adults in the game manage, I hope we hear from them again. Such a great reality check those kids. Wait no! Chekhov the Pagoda Guardian! A named absolute nobody I will be delighted to see again. Bring her and her paralysis ability back. Fucking love that the. Pagoda ninjas. Have Russian names for no reason. OH SHIT WAIT. I HAVE REMEMBERED. MY MAXIMAL GLUP SHITTO. So in the Temple of the Ancients Sephiroth tells you to behold the murals and I thought it was a hint about hints to the upcoming puzzles so I did, very carefully, but actually he was just being dramatic for no reason. Also there are no puzzles that was a lie. But anyway they're a narrative triptych showing the (egyptian-styled) Ancients using the Black Materia to summon a meteor in an explanation for why you should not do this, and there's a dude I think is meant to be a greedy king it's getting summoned onto, and then a lot of people on fire, and I have thoughts about that and Shinra and Midgar and the whole terrorism part of the narrative and how Sephiroth frees the main cast from the moral bind of being unable to break the chains of capitalism through violence without inflicting massive civilian casualties by crushing the capital city of capitalism with a huge space rock BUT ANYWAY the summoning is done by a trio, in the first panel, or possibly by one person with two dudes for moral support, and I'm so interested in the implied historical figure of Woman Holding Superweapon. What's her story?? Why did she do it? Was she prepared for the results? Did she die in the fallout? Was she sorry??? Mural lady from thousands of years ago who are you? Which weird geological feature did your ill-advised meteor-summoning create? Was it the bottomless lagoon? (I think it was the bottomless lagoon that forever swallows the ocean in a physics-obliterating massive waterfall and nobody cares.)

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave) Okay this is a meowmeow infested fandom lol. Angeal might count on grounds of pathetic and unpopular but that's not really how I vibe with him? I'm very invested in Sephiroth's mental damage and in the idea of how you could have constructed a Sephiroth who was less Like That, but this is something the games actively encourage in the player, and which over half the fanbase concurs with me on. There is no true controversy here. The conflict tends to arise around how to correctly interpret Sephiroth's...deal. The controversial meowmeows are all guys who piss me off to hell, because they are all smug bastards who clearly know exactly what they are doing to other people and just feel this is okay, actually, because. They and their desires are more important. Than other people's entire existences. Sephiroth sometimes acts like this but only after he loses his mind, which is the point of intrigue. He's an unreliable narrator to say the least and we know both a lot and nothing about his biography. How exactly did you break, my man? That's meowmeow material right there.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason) Rufus fucking Shinra. How do you introduce yourself with a smug monologue about how you're going to show you're better than your father by replacing his crypto-fascism with unapologetic naked fascism because you think that's cheaper and more badass, and then become popular? How does nobody care that you put Tifa in a gas chamber on live television as a publicity stunt in the attempt to maintain your political power in the face of the apocalypse? Just because you have a white longcoat and dramatic poses like Seto Kaiba and are apparently incapable of fear, why do people like you. Fuck you. You should have stayed blown up by that giant laser return-fire. The kaiju who killed you could sense your murder vibes a hundred miles away. What is that. Die. The wheelchair moment in the movie was fucking epic tho. I'll give you that.

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell) I'm very predictable on these! There's so many villains tho. Gonna send...gonna send Hojo to eeby-deeby superhell because they brought him back as a computer ghost for DoC and that's just not on. Forbidden. You were super dead, man. You turned yourself into a science monster and then we shot you so many times. I feel like there are as many main cast who have been tortured by Hojo personally as have not, although this is technically an exaggeration. Also he manages to achieve the rank of Worst Dad against some stiff competition. Superhell for Hojo for 1000 years.

[baku-bowl]

broke 1,000 followers (the fuck? I don't even make content people), so decided to write up a list of some (but not all, I'll make other lists later) of my favorite Bakugou-centric fic recs. my tastes run towards hurt/comfort, as you'll probably figure from the list. if there are some Baku-centric fics that you've enjoyed that aren't on here, please add them - this is definitely not a complete list of the ones I've read and love, but I'm always up for some recs. <3

fair warning, most of these are wips.

------------------------------------------------

Social Media 101 by WindsChild8178

Part 1: Survival Guide to Fucking Up

[Solely Bakugou’s point of view]

Katsuki Bakugou doesn’t have a gentle bone in his body. He’s aggressive in everything he does and does everything with 100% of his heart in it. After the Sport’s Festival, Katsuki starts to get harassed by strangers for his unheroic demeanor. It starts with letters but it doesn’t end there. The moment Katsuki realizes the harassment has entered dangerous territory and he needs to tell someone, it’s already too late.

Part 2: Post Traumatic Life Disorder

[Point of View opens up to Bakugou, teachers and classmates]

When the Dorms are finally built, everyone is settling in well, but things become tense as people begin to realize something isn’t right with the recently rescued Bakugou.

[Cannon compliant right up to after the License Exam]

hands down my favorite fic in the fandom right now. it’s the one that converted me into a Bakugou lover. if you have any fondness for Bakugou as a character then it’s likely you’ve read this one already, but if not, I can’t recommend it enough. incredibly depressing, but with the hope that comfort is coming soon in the next few chapters.

The Kids Will Be Alright, Eventually by NotWithThatAttitude

Bakugou is spiraling in the aftermath of Kamino and his friends are starting to notice. He's stubborn, aggressively independent, and less than willing to dig into his past, but after a breakdown that ends with a painful secret revealed, he starts to get help.

Whether he likes it or not.

Meanwhile, a new kind of villain threatens an uneasy peace following the loss of Allmight. Whispers build as a new narrative slowly takes shape:

Hero society needs to change.

Feat. Therapy, Dadzawa, best boy Kirishima, dysfunctional families, healing, growing up, and the mortifying ordeal of being known

guys.. the medical accuracy of this fic is just... *chef’s kiss*

I rarely see mental health genuinely handled well in fics, but this one goes above and beyond. kudos to the author for doing such excellent research into psychology, and making the application of it in here not-boring. also, while this one does have abusive!Mitsuki, it’s done in a way that feels realistic, and how I usually will see it occur in real life, rather than just for the hurt/comfort feels.

fair warning, the fic can be incredibly triggering (themes of severe depression, PTSD, panic attacks, rape survival, abuse survival, suicidal ideation/attempted suicide, among other things), so be safe and heed the tw’s if you decide to read. legitimately one of my Top Favorite fics in this fandom.

Lock and Key by autochorystalize

Bakugou made a choked, gravelly noise before croaking out a low, “You can’t be serious.” His fingers ached to blow up everything in the room.

“I’m sorry, young man, but you can’t change reality! This sometimes happens.” Recovery Girl clicked through his file, adding a new symbol in a previously empty slot.

- - -

A pair of eyes discreetly locked on to an explosive blond plowing his way forward, parting people in his path. He recognized the kid, of course. Anyone in the underbelly of society would recognize him, after the publicity of both UA’s Sports Festival and the events leading up to All Might’s fall. The uniform he was wearing cast away any doubts about the young man’s identity.

It was a bit of a surprise that the little firecracker presented as an omega.

- - - - - - - - -

Or: there are certain types of evil that seemed too distant, archaic violations and perversions that would never actually threaten bright-eyed heroes-in-training in the clean, modern world...but sometimes those evils aren't as distant as one might think.

remember when I said that I love a/b/o fics that are full of plot and world-building and gender-induced tension? that’s this one. the OC’s are fabulous and you love to hate ‘em. also, it’s the fic that made me fall head-over-heels for the TodoBaku dynamic, so it’s got a special place in my cold, dead heart. 

be warned, there are rather explicit non-con scenes between an adult (OC) and a minor (Bakugou) in this one, but the author warns for them in advance, and you could likely skip those parts without missing too much if you need to.

Never and Always, Eventually by Wawa_Boonliang

"Katsuki can remember the exact moment that he and Deku…that he and Midoriya Izuku became friends. He can also remember the moment he and Izuku became fierce rivals, a time when they were almost enemies.

However, what he remembers most clearly about their relationship is the moment that they moved passed rivals and became something more close than mere friends. Something more like brotherhood, something forged in fire and secured in the middle of a battlefield or in the midst of natural disaster where the number of the dead was climbing ever higher. And then it was torn from him."

Katsuki is given a second chance. A chance to save everyone. A chance to change everything.

But should he?

y’all. I’m a slutty, slutty whore for time travel fics. a time travel fic with autistic!coded Bakugou? it was love at first read.

Lessons Learned by Sif (Rosae)

Rather than the police station, Katsuki's friends bring him to a hospital after rescuing him from the villains. His wounds were minor, but it didn't make having them treated any less important. As it would so happen, Best Jeanist was also brought to this hospital after the attack.

Sometimes, small choices have a big impact on how a story plays out.

classic Bakugou hurt/comfort. this fic opened me up to the potential that could be a genuinely good Best Jeanist & Katsuki mentor-mentee relationship, and I kind of dig it and search ravenously for it in other fics now. I’m also a huge fan of the behind-the-scences Pro Hero Chat group.

Slope by sunfleurmoon

“I’m not a hero. Or a good person,” Katsuki says, giving Aizawa a pointed look, “So leave me alone. I don’t care about the League or UA, or you—” The two years he’s been away have been fine, more than fine, fucking fantastic actually if you ignore the bi-monthly near-death experiences. He doesn’t need this place. He doesn’t miss this place.

And yet, longing, a childish desire to tear up, or maybe blow something to bits, they all twist in his chest like a band of traitors regardless. “—I just want to go home.”

Or: the one where Katsuki and Izuku fail the first term exam, Aizawa discovers their pasts, and Katsuki is booted from UA. Featuring questionable descriptions of villain organizations, a slightly illegal moving shop, and your favorite emotionally constipated badass in distress with a newly discovered penchant for collecting strays.

paaaaaaiiiiiiiin. the hurt is ALIVE in this one. lots of tortured, angsty exploding child goodness. the OC’s are excellently crafted, and the Bakugou & Eri relationship? beautiful. definitely deserves a read.

Ground Zero by WindsChild8178

In the wake of Kamino, Katsuki is tested more than anyone could imagine. Bound by a villain’s quirk to keep his silence or die, he lives each day knowing it might very well be his last. He continues to work towards becoming a hero, keeping his secret from his classmates and teachers, focusing on making it through each day and trying not to allow the panic or depression to get the best of him. When the villain finally corners him with demands in exchange for his life, there is really only one answer Katsuki Bakugou can give.

honestly don't know which I want updated more - social media 101 or ground zero. this author's fics are amazing, and I really wasn't expecting the twist in this one. can't wait for windschild to come back to this fic some day.

The Defect by LadyGreenFrisbee

"Why do you want to win the Sports Festival so badly?" 

Because I want to see if the defect could usurp the masterpiece.

(In which Endeavor holds a terrible secret and Bakugo has to suffer since childhood for it.)

a great concept, and I adore the shouto and Katsuki sibling interaction here. hoping the author will come back to this one some day.

A Name That You'll Remember by Heronfem

Kirishima Eijirou is a Hero. Bakugou Katsuki... is not. Trapped in his toxic workplace and increasingly desperate to get out, Red Riot's days are only brightened by a new villain known as Caution, who's not exactly villainous and keeps accidentally doing good deeds. But when a real villain appears, a threat from the past that demands that Red Riot make the ultimate sacrifice to keep the public safe, Bakugou is forced into saving the day... and eventually, Red Riot himself.

sob story good guy villains are my weakness, this fic is a gem, and I'd kill for the sequel.

Our Hero by AnonymousTwit

He felt everything jerk to the side and throw his balance off before he saw anything, dust clouding his vision and irritating his lungs as the earth itself opened up to swallow them whole. For a single moment, in a millisecond's time, his wild eyes locked with Raccoon Eyes', hers alight with fear and adrenaline-fueled desperation. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he realized that it was the first time she'd looked at him with something other than long-deserved hatred in days.

And then he was free falling.

Or

After a particularly nasty encounter between childhood friends, the class learns about Bakugou and Midoriya's dark history and practically ostracizes Bakugou while trying to defend Midoriya. An earthquake during an outing has all sides regretting their decisions.

just fucking tear apart my self-sacrificing faves in every way imaginable while their loved ones watch on in terror. 💖🥰💖 this one is heavy on the Bakusquad and Class-1A feels, and VERY heavy on the Mina & Bakugou relationship (platonic).

Running back the tape, watching it replay by Faralyne

For someone ripped from their time, ripped from the few but strong relationships built by time and personal development, by self-reflection and swallowed pride, ripped from the one thing that made him feel worthwhile and needed and put-together, and forced to forge everything over again—Katsuki thinks he is handling it pretty fucking well.

Or

A villain’s quirk sends a 29-year-old Bakugou back in time to his middle school days.

am I a sucker for time travel? yes. am I a sucker for vigilante!bakugou? also yes. am I a sucker for this fic? literally refreshing the page in wait for an update as we speak.

Liability by sandelf

After All-Might dies rescuing Bakugou from the League, Bakugou is determined to prove it wasn't for nothing.

But the world is against him, his grief is overwhelming, and his stability is splitting at the edges.

very self-indulgent bakugou angst. tw for harassment, severe depression, and suicidality.

Special Mentions:

How To Win The Sport Festival: A Step By Step Guide by mhwright

Short re-imagining of the Sports Festival Arc if Shinso had planned a little better and worked a little harder to win the Sports Festival and if the match-ups had been slightly different. Self-indulgent fic of watching him succeed.

this is completely Shinsou-centric, not Bakugou-centric, but I love and adore it and am dying for a sequel. Shinsou is Best Boy here and you'll be rooting for him the whole time.

[utilitycaster]

Wizard Breakdown Tracker, #134

I’m going to be real with you: on the one hand I am, like Sam Riegel, committed to this goddamn bit about how the Mighty Nein are disrupting the lives, in one way or another, of every wizard NPC they’ve ever met. On the other this episode only covered about 3-4 or so hours in real time, which coincidentally is about how much sleep I got Wednesday night as my immune system took it upon itself to kill some spike proteins that it was tricked into making itself with fire. And so with those factors in mind this is going to be a relatively brief installment. Next week I will likely muse on the mental states of at least Yussa and Trent, probably Allura because I love her, and perhaps Two of the Three Morally Ambiguous Wizard Love Interests associated with Mr. Caleb “Bisexual Maelstrom” Widogast but tonight, we look only to the third. Essek Thelyss, take the stage.

As a reminder Mr. Caleb “Bisexual Maelstrom” Widogast is disqualified for being a wizard PC but if you are interested in his mental state I assure you there is information canonical, meta, and fanfictional to be had.

Currently sidelined: Oremid Hass, Known Gem Wizard Hotsauce Lutefisk, Pumat Sol, Ludinus Da’leth, Yussa Errenis (in more ways than one), Trent Ikithon, Allura Vyesoren, Astrid Beck, Eadwulf Grieve, and whatever wizards you’re thinking about from the Explorer’s Guide to Wildemount, the Tal’Dorei Guide, or vague asides in that one episode that one time.

Assembly member in a locket? That’s some Dead-Ass Wizard

Essek Thelyss: Much like *gestures vaguely at fandom* I was admittedly taken in by the demure dual admissions of soup-enjoyment and saying-up-in-the-tower-enjoyment as well as the conversation with Caleb last week, and did sort of wash over the fact that last week ended with Essek seeing Fjord make a brutal hail-Melora pass that is ultimately going to come back to him (that is, Essek) in terms of “who is technically in command of the Kryn rangers and verbally gave the order to Dagen.” And then in short order here is Essek’s night and/or morning: spat out on the ground from the tower, 60% of the Takers die immediately, Lucien says “fuck” and teleports out, rocks fall, nobody dies. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I owe no small part of my own mental health to long rests and soup, but one cannot live on long rests and soup alone.

This week things got pretty rough and (presumably) Essek is going Back to Bed Trance and that’s fucking valid. He is feeling some insecurity over the fact that as essentially Matthew Mercer’s character, he is subject to the DM PC Dice Curse* and can’t dispel magic his way out of a paper bag; he has experienced still more of the Full Chaos of the Mighty Nein including their adoption of a malfunctioning robot and messing around a mausoleum, and then he saw Caleb, the person I have to assume he trusts the most, be like “well I see we have a potentially lethal electrical security system. If I die please pull me out anyway LET’S GO.” As we have learned Essek is more of an academic/political type, not so much a combat/adventuring wizard and I think he’s experiencing a certain level of shock. And of course we have the words out of his own mouth: “me neither.”

That said his gravity sinkhole did work pretty well! and it’s only been a few hours for him too, and it’s safe for the whole party to take a rest which has got to be some comfort given that the whole party includes the people who can heal him.

Conclusion: 6/10. Stress levels are rising but we are not yet at the drop of this particular emotional rollercoaster. Here’s hoping he gets in a good conversation while taking watch or something next week.

*I don’t really believe in dice curses but like...oh, honey.

[fenristheorem]

Quick Update

Short answer: Yes I’m alive lol. I still haven’t been writing a lot but I’m still here. Another fandom has temporarily stolen my interest (I won’t be writing for it though). I will most likely be writing a guide for Lance in ANE episode 9, but no promises as I’ve really been having trouble taking care of myself as of late.

Extended answer: 

(Regarding guides:) I work Thursday and my sleep schedule is screwed so I don’t know if I’ll have the energy to be coherent enough to make a guide that makes sense (it depends on how my night so far goes - I’m playing my life by the moments as of late) while still having enough energy to work afterwards, so I’ll see what I can do but no promises on the guide. It’s very tempting to play through the episode immediately though (also so I can avoid spoilers) so not all hope is lost. I’ll probably give an update in the morning if I’m up to play it before the episode is released. 

(Regarding writings:) I still don’t know when I’ll get back to writing as my job has completely screwed my mental health so I’m working on damage control to keep myself grounded which means that writing is on the back burner for me. The situation has gotten much better to the point where almost everything is fixed, but unfortunately there’s a lot of damage that can’t be immediately undone so I’ll need time to relax again to the point of being able to concentrate and write (in the mean time, if anyone wants me to post a few sections of some WIPs I have, feel free to comment on this post that you’re interested so I know to post a couple - just keep in mind that they’re works in progress so it won’t be completely polished off). 

(Regarding other distractions:) Eldarya has been usurped and I’m into another fandom of which I probably won’t name (because I’m very shy about it for reasons I still don’t understand lol). I’ll definitely swing back around to Eldarya in time and kick my rear to start writing again but right now with everything going on in my life my interests align with other things, so I won’t pressure myself. I’m also pretty busy planning out some traveling for next month to scout out areas I’m interested in moving to, as I may be moving in the next couple of years, so that of course takes time and research. And holidays. Holidays take up a ridiculous amount of time in my life for some reason. Or maybe that’s my anxiety about the holidays coming up that’s making me think that. Anyways, I don’t have enough time and patience on my hands to try and realign my interests with Eldarya again right now, but I’m happy to play a new episode. I’ll definitely come back eventually, I just gotta get things sorted out and off my back.

Thank you for listening to my rant.

(Happy holidays everyone, and have a wonderful December to those who don’t celebrate. ❤)

[tsarisfanfiction]

Colour symbol ask:

Fluff: grey: maturity

Gordon & Alan

Secret Tunnel

Fandom: Thunderbirds Rating: Gen Genre: Family Characters: Alan, Gordon

Well, my muses have come to life again, which is both great for my mental state and annoying timing with regards to the uni work I'm supposed to be doing, but I'll make it work :D

After making a Military Bros masterpost of everything I've written for those two for Military Bros Day, I started thinking about all the different brother duos and how much I've written for each of them. Now, I might be forgetting something, but the one combination I don't recall writing anything for at all is Gordon&Alan, so I poked at my muses and we came up with this!

It's only a loose tie-in to the prompt, I think, but some sensible Tinies content counts as being mature, right?

Colour Symbol Prompts

“So.” Alan glanced up at his brother, raising an eyebrow at the drawl. “Do you want the good news or the bad news?” Gordon continued, tone light in a way that would have been disarming if it wasn’t Gordon, and they weren’t in the remains of a collapsed building.

“What’s the bad news?” he asked, rolling his shoulder. It was stiff, vocally complaining at the movement, and Alan was well aware that without the pauldrons his overprotective brothers had thrown on his uniform before letting him join IR it would be a lot worse. While none of the debris had hit either of them directly, some smaller chunks of masonry had glanced off his left shoulder.

Gordon’s sharp amber eyes tracked the motion even as his brother spoke. “Well, the bad news is that our comms are down.” Alan had suspected as such, but the fact still dumped a heavy weight on his chest. No comms meant no John, no Scott or Virgil, no help from outside. He didn’t like being cut off from his brothers at the best of times, and this was hardly the best of times.

Still, he at least had one brother this time, and despite his penchant for not taking things seriously at home, when out on a mission, Gordon was as reliable as they came. They might not have Thunderbird Five’s data at their disposal, or Scott’s leadership, or Virgil’s muscles, but they did have two working brains between them.

Panicking, as Alan had learnt the hard way on other rescues where things went wrong, did him no favours at all. He swallowed back the instinctual panic and met Gordon’s eyes in the artificial half light of the glowstick from Gordon’s baldric.

“So what’s the good news?” he asked.

“The good news,” Gordon said with a flourish and grin reserved for when things weren’t going their way and Alan’s immediate brother decided the world wasn’t allowed to do that, “is that I think I’ve found us a way out.”

“You think?” Alan couldn’t help but question, even though he was already scrabbling his way to his feet and looking around in the hopes of seeing whatever Gordon had found.

“Over here.” He followed the glowstick as Gordon headed over towards where the rubble looked the thickest, blocking them in. “There’s air flowing in.”

Neither of their uniforms offered much by way of exposed skin, but Alan leaned down where Gordon gestured and took off his helmet just long enough to feel a faint breeze on his cheek.

“Where’s that coming from?” he asked, tugging his helmet back on. Gordon pointed at the floor, or what had once been the floor.

“It’s coming from down there,” he said.

“The floor?” Alan knelt down where Gordon gestured. “Why would it be coming from the- oh.”

The house they’d been in, and were now trapped inside, had been an old one. Alan didn’t remember the exact age, but it was a couple of centuries old at least. Old houses, especially larger ones, had secret passageways.

“So how do we get it open?” he wondered out loud, already rummaging around the area. Gordon crouched down next to him with a shrug as his hands joined Alan’s in trying to find a way to open the passageway that had to be there if they were getting airflow.

“Figured finding ways to open secret passages was more your thing,” his brother admitted. “Don’t those games of yours have secret passageways in all the time?”

The question was an honest one, and Alan blinked. “Well, yeah,” he said, “but those are games. This is real. It won’t be the same.” Despite his words, his fingers were still pulling and pushing at the stones that made up the floor, because at least it was a lead.

They could, of course, wait for their bigger brothers to barge their way in, with Virgil encased in his exosuit and Scott so close behind he’d be standing on his heels while John guided them non-stop over the comms, but there was still a lot of work to be done and they were deep inside the building.

Said building took that moment to groan again, threatening another collapse if they didn’t get out pronto. Alan loved his brothers, but he wasn’t about to get crushed because he’d waited helplessly for rescue. The danger zone covered a large area, and while he and Gordon had found no casualties in their sector, Virgil and Scott would have to prioritise the civilians elsewhere no matter how much they might be panicking about losing contact with the pair of them.

If he and Gordon could find their own way out, so much the better.

“It’s close enough, right?” Gordon shrugged, still sounding inappropriately light-hearted for the situation. Alan didn’t take it personally – Gordon’s coping strategies had time and time proven themselves to be effective.

“I’ll let you know,” he grunted, finding ridges in the stone floor. “Bring that light closer. I think I’ve got something.”

The sickly green glow spread across more of his vision as Gordon held it close to his hands, illuminating the remains of the floor below them. There were multiple ridges carved into the stone, all uniform and completely mundane.

Except for the section that wasn’t.

Alan almost missed it, huffing in defeat as he sat on his haunches and rubbed at his shoulder again. At a glance, it looked no different to the rest of the floor, but it had caught his glove in a way the others hadn’t. It was also in the same place as the mysterious airflow.

Gloved fingers scrabbled at the discrepancy, hunting for a purchase that would hopefully reveal their way out. Gordon had moved to crouch right next to him, holding the glowstick aloft but otherwise keeping his hands to himself and leaving the investigation to Alan. His presence there was comforting, helping Alan to keep it together when part of him wanted to scream into his dead comms in the hope that John would pick it up anyway.

There was a click, barely audible over the noise of creaking masonry in their immediate vicinity. Alan felt it rather than heard it, his fingers suddenly pressing down as the resistance vanished. Age old mechanisms whirred back into life, until with a clunk part of the floor moved down and to the side, revealing a small, dark, passageway leading down into the belly of the house.

“Nice one,” Gordon acknowledged, leaning forwards and peering into the inky depths. A second glowstick was snapped and tossed in, illuminating what was definitely a rough-hewn rock corridor. “I’ll go first.”

He was halfway in by the time the words registered, and Alan peered at the opening with some reluctance. “And you’re sure this will get us out?” he checked, because he didn’t want to wait to be rescued like a civilian, but he also had no intentions of being buried alive.

“That air’s coming from somewhere,” Gordon reminded him, edging forwards a few more paces until he reached the glowstick laying where it had landed on the floor of the corridor. “And the roof of this thing seems pretty sturdy.” He rapped it a couple of times with his knuckles. “If the rest of the house collapses, this’ll be the last thing to go.”

A glance around showed that his brother was probably right. Alan swallowed before following him inside, sticking right on Gordon’s heels as the older blond led the way, glowstick held up high for light.

As far as passages went, it was small. Apt for a secret passage, but annoying when the ceiling lowered and the pair of them had to stoop almost double to get through some sections. It twisted and turned, in some areas narrow enough to force them to go through sideways, and at one point the way forwards seemed to vanish altogether before Alan realised a shaft of rock was concealing the next section.

It definitely lived up to its likely original purpose of a secret escape. Pursuing someone through there would be difficult; luckily, the only aim Alan and Gordon had was getting out of the collapsed building.

The first sign of the outside world was when their comms crackled in unison. It was impossible to make anything out through the static, but the garbled voice of John was definitely missing the calm tones their ginger brother usually deployed on rescues. Scott’s response was short and sharp, clipped in a way that screamed panic, and the low rumble of Virgil felt on edge, too.

Returning comms promised that they had to nearly be out, and Alan stumbled forwards, almost catching himself with his painful shoulder before he arrested his momentum with his healthy arm instead.

Neither he nor Gordon spoke, even though he was certain the same thoughts had to be running through his brother’s head as well. They were close, but they weren’t out yet, and had no reassurance that the exit for the secret tunnel hadn’t been collapsed or buried by more falling debris.

Still, it remained the best chance they had. Alan didn’t fancy trailing back through the passageway and sitting back in the rubble of the building, and he knew Gordon felt the same, so pushing onwards was their only choice. It continued to twist and turn, dog-legging and backtracking with no apparent rhyme nor reason. Alan tried to keep track of it in his head, logging it like any secret passage in Cavern Quest, but it put all the virtual ones to shame.

Then Gordon stopped, and Alan walked straight into him.

“Ow!” he exclaimed instinctively, before stepping back a pace. “Why have we stopped?”

“It doesn’t go any further,” Gordon said, holding the glowstick high. It was running out of juice, leaving the sickly green glow far fainter than it had been earlier. It was barely enough light to make out his brother’s face, let alone whatever the rocks surrounding them were doing. “This must be the end.”

“So get us out,” Alan shrugged, rubbing his shoulder and trying to hide the wince of pain that came with the action. Their comms were still broadcasting garbled static interspersed with panicked voices, but the signal was still too poor to even attempt to get hold of John. “There’ll be a mechanism somewhere. Try looking for something slightly off in the ridges on the stone?”

“Trying,” Gordon grunted. The faint green-lit silhouette of his shoulders strained as he pushed and pulled at the rocks. “Not finding anything, Alan.”

“Let me try.” He pushed forwards, trying to squeeze past Gordon to get a better look at the wall of rock blocking their way. Gordon fell back without complaint, although it took a lot of pushing and pulling, and a concerning scrape against his helmet before they managed it.

Alan was struck by a flash of gratitude that none of their older brothers were with them. Scott and John would both be too tall, and Virgil was too bulky. Getting through the passageway with one of them would have been a nightmare. At least he hadn’t yet stopped growing and Gordon was small – not that he planned on mentioning that to Gordon just yet. There was a time and a place for the teasing, and this was neither.

With Gordon now behind him, looming over his shoulder with the ever-fading glowstick held out helpfully in his periphery, Alan reached out and felt around for something similar to the switch he’d found to get them into the tunnel from the other end. Carefully uniform ridges carved across the rock and he followed them with his fingers until, finally, something gave.

Bright light spilled in as the end of the tunnel opened, blinding him with midday sun.

That, however, paled in comparison to the way both their comm audios suddenly sharpened.

“Any sign of them?” Scott’s voice demanded.

“Keep working on getting the mother out of that room,” John non-answered, still sounding far too on edge. “Virgil, there’s a small life sign the other side of the wall.”

“F.A.B.” The forced calm of Virgil’s voice told Alan he was no less agitated than the other two.

“Hey guys.” Gordon chipped in, echoing in Alan’s helmet from the comm channel in stereo with the sound of his voice in real time. “Where do you need us, Thunderbird Five?”

“Gordon!” All three voices overlapped in frantic cacophony. “Where are you?” Scott demanded. “Where’s Alan? Are you okay?”

“I’m here, too,” Alan promised.

“We’re fine,” Gordon added. “Who’s left to save?”

“Virgil and Scott are on the last life signs now,” John told them. “Your signals have reappeared a fair way out from the danger zone; get yourselves back to Thunderbird Two.”

Alan looked around and realised he was right – the two Thunderbirds gleamed in the sunlight, but it was immediately clear that the passageway they’d taken had led almost directly away from the crafts. Even in a straight line, the walk was going to take a good quarter of an hour.

Next to him, Gordon sighed and started walking. “F.A.B.,” he agreed. Alan stumbled a little as he lurched forwards to keep up. “We’ll see you there.”

Sure enough, by the time they arrived, both on-site brothers were waiting impatiently. It was clear that it was only the presence of their rescuees that had stopped them from striking out to meet them, but even that wasn’t enough to stop their big brothers charging towards them as soon as they were visible.

Scott reached them first, always the fastest runner, and Alan let out an oof as he was crushed into a frantic hug alongside Gordon. Worried blue eyes looked them both over, narrowing as they found something they didn’t like.

He was pushed aside as Virgil reached them, Thunderbird Two’s pilot refraining from giving them a bear hug only because he’d clearly spotted the scrape on Alan’s helmet as he’d approached.

“Are you hurt?” A medscanner was deployed almost before Virgil was finished talking. Scott didn’t wait for permission from anyone before carefully detaching Alan’s helmet and peering at his head. Alan didn’t bother to stop him.

“I’m fine!” he made sure to protest, though, although his hand betrayed him as it subconsciously moved across to rub at his shoulder again. None of his brothers missed the action, and before he knew it he was being whisked inside the green Thunderbird so Virgil could take a closer look.

Scott hovered worriedly by his side, glancing over periodically at Gordon. Alan followed suit, catching Gordon’s eye, and his brother rolled his eyes exaggeratedly. It was fond, though; Alan wasn’t at all surprised by Scott and Virgil’s behaviour, and he highly doubted Gordon was, either.

It was just a hazard of having older brothers.