#of ADHD. like. REALLY.
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thinking about how 12s era confirms the doctor as both ADHD and transmasc. like damn no wonder i imprinted on 12
#ari opinion hour#1) dont anyone come at me like 'the doctor isnt human tho' bc are you REALLY going to tell me that the doctor isnt the time lord equivalent#of ADHD. like. REALLY.#and 2) the other thing is that one missy line where shes like#oh yea since x since y since he was a little girl one of those was a lie can u guess which#and like at the very end of that season the doctor mentions y completely independently of that line and is like yeah that was a lie#that someone started this and this is actually what happened#so we kNOW that 'since he was a little girl' isnt a lie
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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i think what saves me from a lot of discourse is that i'm simply Not Reading All That
#sometimes that means i miss really good posts unfortunately#until every now & then i get an extra neurotypical braincell for like 10 min and i read a good post#jk i'm still in denial about possibly having adhd
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This is Pixel, my Porygon2. She gets really excited when touching carpet - like hilariously so. I always figured it was because real life textures are kinda new and exciting for a digital creature. @realpokemon
#shut up. I want to cook. and I am cooking irl pokemon#I am really charged up to draw rn. And this is what came to mind. I am all over the place. ADHD got by brain in a chokehold#Proygon is my favorite pokemon so I felt like I had to#perfect little guy#pokemon#porygon#irl pokemon#art#my art#this is a photo of my dog and I edited like the maniac I am#unreality
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Annabeth: *tries to sacrifice herself for Percy*
Percy:
Percy:
Percy: *jumps off the St. Louis Arch*
#he really heard “love makes a person crazy” and ADHD-ed it didn't he#yes i used adhd as a verb#fight me#no one does it like percabeth#and he BARELY knew her#down bad is his theme song#if he's not named after based on or paralleled to a greek hero i don't want him#bonus points if its a tragedy#pjo#percy jackson#percabeth#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo tv show#tlt#the lightning thief
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i lost my tablet pen and drew this on ms paint with my mouse my wrist is in agony holy fuck
#homestuck#bro strider#dave strider#strider bros#dirk strider#even the fake youtube thumbnail was edited by me jesus christ why did i do that#this joke is really stupid but#shitty humor is still fun humor#ms paint#ms paint adventures#hell yeah#a little bit pissed my adhd picked homestuck of all things to fixate on but like#if it makes content it makes content what can i say
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Stimming isn't enough. I need to violently vibrate out of existence
#autism#asd#actually autistic#actually adhd#adhd#actually audhd#autism memes#adhd memes#me whenever I see anything related to Shadow The Hedgehog or Sonadow#like I actually start foaming at the mouth on the spot (not really but shabsjsbsjsb)#h a p p y 👹
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That's a big boy right here. Vent post I did a while ago, finally felt the courage to post it I hope it'll reach the people who needed to read this.
#cabi leodrann#digital art#comic#vent post#tw vent#mentel health#neurodivergent#adhd#autism#audhd#I put those tag to reach the people I know they can relate#but I'm sure there's other interpretation you can have about it#like a comic about capitalism or something#fuck capitalism btw#have a good day#take care of yourself#and I really hope we'll be able to sit and watch the world together one day
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the pspspsps effectively got me. Im in. You’ve got me hooked. Now I present the new idea I just got for the language barrier au. You know how the genshin names have different meanings in different language like how Ei apparently means egg in german? Imagine speaking in another language/you native language and one of the words sounds really similar to one of the character’s names or just straight up is their name, so they ask why you call them but you’re not calling that character but are actually saying smth else like egg.
I think i talked abt this sometime ago in 2023 masterpost, so i felt more inclined to share some shitty art of how i imagine these moments go instead lmao
(it should be very assumed atp that i am so so SO sorry i took forever to reply!! /gen)
sorry its just my art 😅
Safe Travels Anon,
💀♒
I feel bad tagging ppl for smth kinda small?? and its just my art not even a writing blurb - srry guys just thought smth better than nothing, more to come!
♡the beloveds♡
@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks / @devilangel657 / @esthelily / @justinsomniachild / @nanithefuck / @questionotmystopit / @chinuneko
@kiyomi-uchiha777
#genshin sagau#sagau#genshin isekai#genshin imagines#genshin impact#gender neutral reader#genshin impact sagau#genshin x reader#my asks#aqua asks#aqua art#genshin impact self aware au#not really sorry :(#more like isekai#genshin sagau art#again sorry abt replying taking forever!#i rlly do have a lot of ppl in my inbox i realized#and i have unmedicated adhd#and a busy year when i made this blog#pls forgive me#</3
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Bros before Ho(oh my god is that Hanguang-Jun?)
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#WWX really was unhinged for saying he was going to always be at JC's side and then immediately asking about LWJ.#The D in ADHD stands for Distractible. The second D stands for DooowawawaWaaaah (ADHDers know what I mean)#Their conversation is such a knife twist in this flashback. WWX truly and genuinely does mean it when he says he wants to support JC#And that JC hopes for that too! Tragedies hit the hardest when you can feel the lost futures characters would have together#And I feel it here in this scene so painfully. There's complicated feelings between them but it wasn't what broke them apart.#The rumours and the twisted family dynamics that tried to pit them against each other likely wouldnt have worked.#It set the stage for JC to have an inferiority complex which then grows into his responsibility complex.#WWX even calls it out! That JC has to be the responsible one in the dynamic.#And it sucks to be in that unequal position with a sibling or a not-sibling.#You don't get the love *or* acknowledgement but you do get the pressure to be the 'better one' in the face of the other's misbehaviour.#But I digress. There was a world where they did became the twin heroes of yunmeng jiang and stayed together.#And we'll never see it. That world is gone now. And just like Lotus pier -even if they tried to rebuild it - they will never be the same.
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Taking the current topic as an excuse to ask you to tell me all the reasons you love Rarijack. Your art for the ship is so sweet and intimate I'd love to hear any in depth thoughts you have.
Breathes in.
I think what makes their dynamic really strong is that they have opposing personalities but aligned values. It's deeper than just "opposites attract." Rarity's fancy, prissy, and femme while Applejack's modest, rough, and "masculine." But both value hard work (to the point of being workaholics), their families (both have guardianship over their little sisters), running successful businesses, and eventually each other. Their relationship can be boiled down to, "Despite our differences/disagreements, I still like you because we value the same things."
We see their relationship develop so much. In the first season, they can't stop bickering about surface-level differences. By season four, they still bicker, but will mend their relationship because they can't help but do nice things for each other. In Trade Ya, they start off arguing over personality differences (Applejack likes old junk and Rarity likes useless crap). Then they pivot and start arguing that they value their relationship more than the other. In the end, they mend things by sacrificing their needs and buying each other a gift. Even if they don't understand it, they know it'd make the other happy. And that's all that really matters. It's a genuinely sweet moment that shows how arguing can be healthy and necessary for relationships to strengthen.
We even see them dropping their hang-ups about each others' personalities. In Made in Manehattan, when Rarity runs off in dramatics about someone's fashion, AJ doesn't roll her eyes or scoff, she smiles. Oftentimes, their conflicts are very common domestic conflicts romantic couples face. Applejack's Day Off is about a woman's inability to balance work and life and find time to properly spend with her partner, causing her partner to feel neglected.
By season seven, they're actively participating in each others' interests. Any problems or conflicts that arise are dealt with, and they come out the other end stronger and closer. In Honest Apple, AJ pretty much spells out why their relationship works so well: even though she doesn't understand fashion, she can recognize and appreciate how much work it takes and wants to respect that. When she realizes her mistake in the episode, AJ goes above and beyond to fix things and apologize to Rarity. They care about each other so much.
The two go out of their way, sacrificing their personal desires and beliefs and doing things they normally wouldn't, to make the other happy. That's just love.
There's Simple Ways, where AJ gets stuck in an unwanted love triangle between Rarity and her hipster crush. And her frustration and anger can be so easily interpreted as AJ finding herself in a terrible position; the girl she loves wants another man, and that man wants her.
I dunno. I've always had a preference for opposites attract ships, but Rarijack's stuck with me like a brain worm because they have the perfect chemistry. The way they show they care, or do things for each other, I've always read it as the truest representation of romance in the show.
#rarijack#i refuse to be embarrased by how much i know about this damn pony show#this is part of the reason why i never bought into appledash unfortunately. their values aren't aligned#rd lies a lot and often for very self serving reasons#and she distances herself from her family because they're. cringe? overbearing? her parents are very loving and supportive#meanwhile aj's. whole fucking thing. is honesty and family#ask me#anon#this is why it's still a little baffling they aren't canon#we got SO much real development with so much potential subtext#and it never really crossed the finish line#i dunno every time they do something to show they care i'm reminded of myself and my partner too#whenever i see something that's inconvenient or complicated or against my personality (adhd haver) but i know it'd make my#boyfriend happy. i do it anyways. and i always think to myself “wow. that's what love is. that's what it feels like”
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perhaps the most important question i’ve ever asked:
does anyone have tips for people trying to stop being chronically late to everything in the world that aren’t weirdly judgmental and aggressive or flat out lies
#when i tell you every single resource i’ve ever found or tried to get through or anyone i’ve ever asked#has been just so. mean about it#not even intentionally#not always at least#but there’s so much inherent shame tied to being late to things or being a person who used to be late to things#that i don’t think people can untie that from their ‘helpful tips’#it’s all ‘i used to also be a lazy uncaring piece of shit! you don’t have to be a horrible wretched loser anymore!’ and it’s like. okay.#you see how that’s not helping. right.#making me feel worse about it is NEVER helpful. i promise you i already have tortured myself over it FARRR more than any ‘on time’ person#ever had#this has been a comic i’ve been stewing on for ages as well but. well there’s of course the shame#idk it’s something that people are always despicably mean about bc fundamentally people who have never struggled with it#see it as a personal choice to be late#and as something one needs to just ‘try harder’ to fix. and that if you don’t#you inherently don’t care about other people’s time or even other people in general#and that feels horrible! it feels really bad!!#i mean i’ve got it from EVERYONE. disability allies. other adhd folks. disability resource offices#it’s something that nobody ever cares to acknowledge or try to accommodate for#bc time blindness and exec dysfunction are NEVER taken seriously as disabilities. they’re always always viewed as a personal failing#and i’m sick and tired of it. bc all this does is make people struggling with this Hate themselves#and worry endlessly that maybe they Are selfish and actually Don’t care about anyone else#there’s a bit too much here to keep in the tags i should really do the comic for adhd awareness month
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and if I said that dennis’ insistence on being the breadwinner/provider despite literally being a pampered princess who dgaf about traditional roles of masculinity in every other regard (aside from ego) is because his mom only stayed with/chose frank for his wealth and dennis is highly aware that he’s difficult to love and unable to show his emotions openly so he has to be contributing something to the relationship materially in order to feel like he’s worth staying for… and mac grew up with parents who were extremely ambivalent to him and eachother so he has to overcompensate by proving his worth at every given moment and seeking praise/validation from people (and religious icons) who will never demonstrate the same amount of dedication to him but he has no idea how else to desperately keep himself close to those he loves other than by eroding himself into something they’ll approve of… dear god they’re both exactly what the other needs — someone who can’t and won’t leave them even if they try — and they don’t even see it…
#dennis thinks he’s losing his edge and mac thinks he’s perfect anyway#mac feels like no one in his life has ever needed him enough to stay but dennis can’t stay away#IM ILLLLLL about these men from the world’s stupidest sitcom#sorry if this got a little freudian I don’t LITERALLY mean it in the sense that mac/dennis are seeking something that reminds them of their#parents (gross) (although pretty character accurate to the SINNED system)#but rather that our childhoods teach us what we should expect and look out for in life#and it never really leaves us#this all stemmed from me contemplating MADMTTS and how it would’ve made way more sense for mac (high energy adhd) to be out in the world#and dennis (bpd anger issues) to be indoors free from the triggers of the world#but they INSISTED on mac being housewife dennis being breadwinner#same as their little battle over supposed roles/dynamics as hugh honey/vic vinegar/brian lefevre etc#you are two queer men why on earth do you care about sticking to heterosexual gender roles#but it was never about the gender roles it was about what they self-assign their value to…#mac and dennis#mac mcdonald#dennis reynolds#iasip#it’s always sunny in philadelphia#its always sunny#macdennis#macden
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Who was gonna tell me that sitting down on a cold hard floor alone in a room barely illuminated with only a small lamp light in the dead of night, hugging your knees while putting the same song on loop to play over and over and over again as you close your eyes and start rocking side to side softly and slowly for 30 minutes FELT SO GOOOD??
#ive never felt more fresh#i honestly teared up a bit#because i felt myself relax#i dont think i remember ghe last time i did that#god the feeling hit me like a train#stimming#is this stimming?#i think i should really get that diagnosis#autism#adhd#audhd#actually audhd#audhd things#neurodivergence#neurodivergent#neurodiversity
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I don't think I ever shared my embroidery here, but I do embroidery as a way to relax, like drawing & embroidery are how I unwind
Anyway here are some of my fave pieces
The last one above is a pillow case I'm currently working on and this one is a bird I just started cause obviously my ADHD brain needs to start new things constantly
#when i say i have really bad ADHD i mean it guys#i need to do stuff constantly like if i stay still doing nothing i will DIE#so embroidery is what i do when I'm fed up of drawing lol#or when i want to do stuff in public#i don't mind doing embroidery in front of others but i hate drawing when there’s more people lol#i also like doing embroidery while i watch movies or shows#or while listening to audio books#anyway my oomfies at twitter were sick of me since i constantly shared my embroidery process lol#i'll keep the embroidery content to blue sky but u can have this#as a treat#miry's yapping
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