#because i felt myself relax

[vroomvroomwee]

Who was gonna tell me that sitting down on a cold hard floor alone in a room barely illuminated with only a small lamp light in the dead of night, hugging your knees while putting the same song on loop to play over and over and over again as you close your eyes and start rocking side to side softly and slowly for 30 minutes FELT SO GOOOD??

[copia]

i'm going on exam season lockdown as of today, which means no more gifs/edits/anything else because i spend way too much time on them for an engineering student in the trenches lmao. posting this not because i think anybody will notice or care, but so i can hold myself accountable and get embarrassed if i break the pledge. see you on june 3rd for a ghovie creativity extravaganza

edit: besides the ghovie trailer 😭 i cant restrain myself from that one

[nudibutch]

i was finally able to have the house to myself for a bit today... brought all my dirty dishes out of my room and was able to tidy up a little bit without feeling weird

[triglycercule]

horror bragging about he's immortal and allat to killer and dust (because he genuinely thinks he is. like he literally came back from the DEAD that is a proud accomplishment!!!! bro probably brags all the time about it like "heh even if you hit me hard i'll just get back up. bitch")

and then killer's like alright bet! let's test that out! and then he starts going on an all out chase for horror's head. and dust just follows along because hey why the fuck not it sounds fun and it would be nice to knock horror down a peg or two :3 frantic running from horror ensues because as much as he'd like to stick by his claim he REALLY cannot be going around risking to see if him being immortal is actually true 💀

[flamboyant-king]

Hey babes, sorry I've been dead, but I coulda been literally dead if I had not gone.

I didn't hurt myself and we're still figuring things out. I would love to share but I've already forgotten what I've learned. I hope I get more guidance and time for healing and learning on how to lead my life in a better direction than where I was. But that takes time and effort.

I hope to get some rest, get some support, and get it together. But right now, I don't think it's healthy for me to worry about art in the way I do now. I may not express it here, but trying to maintain my art endeavors/projects while there's so much bullshit going on backstage is not helping me. Especially since I'm not even obligated to do so. But trying to force myself to do something I am currently unable to do will just make me feel worse. I'll follow my dreams and passions one day, but I've been putting off the healing process for years.

So I guess it's better to get better now so I can get the ball rolling again. Why drive on a flat tire?

[penisbilt]

the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now

[pink-vulpix]

.

[yutadori]

okay im somehow feeling less #mentallyill today and it's weird . this past week has been an accumulation of awful and annoying stress and while it's probably not all gone today . was a lot better and i didn't feel insanely annoying while talking to my professor which is a really good sign.... i also didn't feel too bad about it afterwards which was reallyyyyyyy relieving

today was really fun though (-: it's become a bi-weekly thing for my classmate / friend (......?) to hang around after class so we can bother my professor at his office ^__^ and i'm reallyyyy super glad. i'm really glad i got over my anxiety of talking to new people because now we talk after class bi-weekly and it's soooo fun and sillay <3 i used to be really closed off when it came to talking to classmates because i didn't think there was a point or more like . it wasn't something i was really looking for because i already had friends so i didn't think it was necessary to expend more effort and anxiety to make new friends which is . hm .

but anyway today was soooo facking funny my professor is so annoying omg I HATE HIMMMMMM omfg i forgot what we were talking about but i basically brought up how i am of the opinion that it's absolutely insane that people cut around mold on their food and still eat it. and i was SOOOOOOO SO SURE THAT HE WOULD BE OF THE SAME OPINION BUT THEN HE PAUSED AND WAS LIKE "okay well . i have a scandalous take" and i was like NO!!!! NO!!!!!!!!! YOU CANT DO THIS TO ME !!!! and we argued about it and my friend was looking it up and he was like "well what did you find convince me" and they listed a BUNCH of shitty symptoms you could get from eating food that had mold on it and i was like "imagine experiencing them all at once" and he was like "oh well i basically experience all of that every morning" AND WE LAUGHED HES SO FUCKING DUMB GDFSGDFGDSF and when he kept trying to justify himself my classmate was like "but the spores....." and i was like "yeah the SPORES (his first name) the SPORES. the spores will get you......" and then i was like "hey you should get red markers for your white board so i can leave ominous messages like that on it before i leave" because one day he suddenly had a BUNCH of purple markers, i think he has like ten..... and there's only one white board in his office lol

AND THEN THATS HOW WE GOT TO THE NEXT PART.... he was like "do you know why i don't have red markers?" and i was like . omg . no way are you colorbind???? and he IS ......... which is so sad..... )': and i was like "wait the school's color is green........ they should have more colorblind awareness, you need to be represented" and he looked at me really seriously and was like "yeah i really do" he's so dumb i love him so bad

[greppelheks]

I'm actually having a good weekend for the first time in weeks

[ukusreticence]

self comfort

related to artfight

[witherbythesword]

I feel like a fucking feral animal that needs to be pinned down by the throat and stabbed.. i mean fucked argh no what i wanted to say.. is i need to be fucking sta

[neobisexual]

had a very intense semi lucid dream last night where i was the daughter/acolyte of an insane cult leader/my dad who performed non consenual surgery on me and molested and raped me. it inspired me to start writing a lil sci fi novella but also to clean out my closet and find my vibrator cuz i was desperate for it after waking up lmfao

[cosmicdreamt]

"Does anyone actually find those pool-inspired liminal spaces scary? Liminal space doesn't really do much for me in terms of discomfort or it being unsettling, but the ones with the white tiles and blue water?? Those in specific make me wanna go lay down on a floatie and take a nap in the middle of it all. I think it's rather pretty."

[b-blushes]

experiencing what they might call "did some unavoidable activities that were way above regular activity level as an individual with disabilities that Don't Like It When You Do This" and it's not my favourite sensation/dimension to exist in. like i'm fine but also. i feel haunted :P

[overexciteddragon]

It's funny how "preference" is something that is inherently tainted by bias. I went from not thinking fat people were attractive (believing it was nothing bad! I don't think anything bad about them! "I'm just not into them!") to, after years of healing my relationship with food and reframing how I feel about my body and educating myself about fatness and what fat is and what it isn't... suddenly I was very attracted to fat bodies. Not in a dehumanizing way, but, wow, that's a gorgeous body, framed by hills and valleys, dips and waves, a body that demands all of my strength and devotion to lift it up, a body that I have to dig under folds to fully landscape.

I can wax poetry about any damn body of any weight and size and height, damn it, but the fact that I found it in me the ability of waxing poetry about fat bodies when I worked on my own bias, the fatshaming that was drilled into my child body, a body that was put through so many diets and weigh loss fads that I could dig my fingers under my own ribcage like a party trick, tells me that "preference" oftentimes is a code word for "I learned I shouldn't see this body as a good thing and my neutrality hides something deeply embedded into my brain"

[areyoudoingthis]

my mother texted me while i was with a friend and i called her on purpose while my friend was nearby so he could offer emotional support and she had the cheek to get rude and dictate that she would call me later because i was busy even tho I said i was free to talk then jesus fucking christ who does she think she is