#oddly specific comparisons

[schrodingerspsycho]

[deadbeandrop]

LUMPUS WAS A HORSE ???

yep! he was also named leonard for a while

[dougielombax]

I’ve heard some people compare Alan Wake 2 to Twin Peaks: The Return.

I hope to GOD they’re right!

I absolutely loved the third series of Twin Peaks. It’s one of David Lynch’s best works.

Hopefully AW2 is just as good.

[buff-electra-truther]

Original Belle is the Dolli Dimples of Stex. Similar persona and voice, a lowkey fave of mine because of that, and cut waaaay too early on.

[sigmaleph]

So the other day I finished When I Win the World Ends

--

A couple months back, my wife recommended me a pokemon fanfic. It was not When I Win; it's called Ghost Town and it's about a young trans woman returning home and coming out to her family while simultaneously finding out her closest childhood friend has been murdered. It's beautiful, definitely the most moving piece of writing i've read this year, and also entirely unlike WIW except that both are, nominally, set in 'the pokemon universe'.

These two works are not remotely set in the same universe. Their settings are entirely different, the result of two different people taking the thing we are presented with in the pokemon video game series and asking 'OK, but what does this world actually look like?' and coming to very different answers, because it turns out that setting is not really pinned down much by the games.

Are there animals beyond human and pokemon in the world? In WIW, the answer is no, except perhaps in some parallel universe like where the Ultra Beasts come from. In GT, the answer is yes; when the pokedex calls wingull the seagull pokemon, this is because there are actual seagulls in the world for comparison.

What's the deal with all the game-like elements of pokemon battling, like taking turns and pokemon only being able to use four moves and so on? In WIW, this is a competitive ruleset; pokemon battling is a highly regulated sport, and pokemon act in turns because their trainers specifically train them to wait between moves. In GT, this is just not a thing; 'pokemon only know four moves' is an abstraction made for game design concerns, the same way the game present us with a location with three building and tells us this is a town. The 'real' Pallet Town has more people and buildings than that, and 'real' pokemon don't act like characters in a turn-based RPG.

I could go on further but I will not; you get the point. The games present us with broad strokes of a world, but it is not a world that really holds together very much; it is not a series interested in worldbuilding. Game Freak doesn't go into the question of what is the geopolitical relationship between Johto and Kanto, or what does a culture where ten-year-olds are allowed to go out on their own into the world accompanied by monsters look like, or what the hell is Cinnabar volcano burger made out of, and this leaves room for fanfic writers to step in with their own answers to these questions.

I spend a lot of time pondering these questions, perhaps more than I should, and while there are boring answers one could give sometimes writers come up with genuinely fascinating takes on it, trying to weave them together into a world that holds together while at the same time resembling a beloved video game series that cannot decide if America is real or not.

So when I finished Ghost Town and most of the other works by the same author I saw a number of people in my dash talking about this other pokemon fanfic, and it did not disappoint despite being so different and having a tragic lack of explicit trans lesbians.

I've never been much into competitive pokemon battling despite playing the actual games themselves on and off for most of my life, but the angle on that in WIW really does work as a central focus (even if it does, unforgivably, get Umbreon's ability wrong). The one thing in it that still sits oddly with me is that I cannot really get a handle on what Cely's deal is. She's not psychic, apparently (the public perception of psychics in the pokemon universe is yet another of those things WIW and GT have different opinions on). She's not some kind of fated RISE messiah, because RISE is just a cult and doesn't have any deeper insights into the nature of reality. Is she just lucky? Are we just happening to observe the one particular timeline where she got all her predictions right for no reason in particular, or was it perhaps necessary that Cely get all her calls right for us to see an outcome where the world doesn't end, anthropic-reasoning-style? If there is an answer I was supposed to get from the story, I didn't

But that's quibbles. It's an excellent work, I loved it, i'm very glad I was following people who'd talk about it often enough I gave it a shot. This is not really a review of it, though, or of Ghost Town. This is just my excuse to talk about pokemon worldbuilding and namedrop the cinnabar volcano burger.

[hana-no-seiiki]

yandere fae that’s been pestering you for weeks, trying to get your name. you deny him at every turn. that is, until he has his head between your legs and you, intoxicated by the aphrodisiac that is his saliva, tell him while you’re on the precipice of an orgasm. he wins three prizes that day. the utterance of your name, the taste of your sweet essence, and the honor of fucking you.

as far as he’s concerned, you’re his now. that much is proven by how he jackrabbits into you, stretching each vowel of your name out with every thrust.

— (yandere fae oc anon)

omfg anon- are you secretly a huge writer holy shit this is fucken graphic (in the best way possible)

i don’t write smut on this blog because kids here are blind to mdni + tumblr is oddly on my dick when it comes to explicit posts in comparison to other writers/blogs, so this would have been better to send to @yoru-no-seiiki but I’ll give ya’ll this :

I think it’d be pretty funny for a trans reader / reader with a dead name to be paired with him. Like I’m pretty sure the creator of the fae myth didn’t really account the fact that people might identify better with another name so much so that it would be more powerful than their were given at birth.

or an orphan reader with no name to identify with at all. maybe raised by other mythical creatures that specifically kept them unnamed to protect them from the fae

butttt their lack of name became the very reason that the fae is so attached to the reader, to the point of fervent worship.

like it started from being a small, insignificant get together until it became something much much more (to both the fas and the reader)

whole ass that one hamilton line “i wish i could say that was the last time, i said that the last time it became a pasttime”

and whenever you wanted to create some distance between the two of you, the fae just uses their powers to either make your mind go wonky / forget, or just plain assault and break all the boundaries you set.

gaslight, girlkeep, girlboss king.

you may think one thing…

no you actually dont. you just dont.

[gem-de-lune]

Revisiting Timeline for News about Seunghan

Since a lot of people are anxious, I decided to talk today about some confirmations I have been experiencing.

I recently had someone message me another Tarot reader's verdict on the timeline for Seunghan's return or rather when we will receive news on this.

I will preface this by saying I actively try not to interpret other reader's pulls because a lot of time, they are not meant for me to read. However, in this case, part of their reading was a definite sign for another reason, so I will be referencing a tiny part of it.

In this other reading the person pulled the Moon card for a timeline and said that it equated to 9 months. When it comes to timelines and tarot, everyone has their own way of doing it- but personally there imo i do not distinguish whether a timeline is 9 months, years, weeks, or days, just by 1 card alone.

The reason why I mention this is because i was basically not paying attention to the months aspect, just the number 9. (Sign 1)

Next, I decided I might as well do a quick little pull for timeline, in which I pulled the Hermit card

The Hermit is the 9th card of the Major Arcana. (Sign 2)

Then, as I placed down the card, my alarm went off for 9am....(Sign 3)

At this point I was like ok I get it...

So me being me I was like okay what is 9 days from now and if that means anything bc your girl could have a whole baby in 9 months.

9 days from now in Korea (where it is Oct 26th today) would be Nov 4th. (Sign 4).

I had someone in my asks ask me if the numbers I pulled for timeline a while ago: 8, 6, 4*, 2 were still valid, because another reader said news will come by Nov 4th. (Sign 5)

So finally I pulled some cards asking if we would get news by Nov 4th. And I will also preface, when pulling cards for yes/no you need to take into consideration what the card actually means. So even though this card is positive, if you are pulling like the knight of pentacles which is slow moving or stagnant, then the answer is more likely no or maybe a little later than expected. If you pull a knight of swords who is super fast, then you'll get a faster timeline than expected.

In this case I pulled

Ace of Wands + 9 of Pentacles + 10 of Swords

Someone recently asked about my swords being oddly positive, and I do think they are referring to this 10 of swords card. The 10 of swords actually traditionally looks different so here is a comparison of the original vs my deck:

And it usually signifies a painful ending. However, what a lot of people miss is the golden sky in the traditional card, which signifies the light at the end of the tunnel.

My deck which is the Book of Shadows Vol 2, narrows in on this meaning. The 10 of swords is not simply about a painful end. It's symbolizing going through a painful situation and being reborn from the ashes of that pain. It is about overcoming in a situation that seemed like the end. This is true with both cards, but the true meaning for your specific reading is dependent on the surrounding cards. Which is why it is usually not good to pull this type of card alone for an outcome, because people tend to just see the swords and defeat but in reality- even if someone is going through a defeat that is NEVER the end of the story unless they literally die- which is unlikely 😂 (every set back is a set up for a comeback)

Now, going back to these pulls- which btw JUMPED out. They are saying yes. We should be receiving an update by the 4th. The 10 of swords signifies being reborn from a painful situation as stated. The ace of wands is a powerful yes card signifying new ventures, passion and action. The 9 of pentacles aside from being yet another 9 indicator, shows that this will be positive news coming after a long time of hard work.

I think we were definitely due for another one of these non structured reads. I am sorry if anyone felt personally victimized by me saying I cannot pull every day for if he will return and when. I still cannot do that, but I understand the stress and sorrow, and I never mean to be mean at all- just want you guys to know that. I am a Gemini Moon so dealing with all the emotions of so many people is draining to me because I see them as tasks I must analyze instead of just what they are: emotions. Just know I am with you and I hear you regardless.

I hope this reading brought a lot of comfort to yall.

[thecurioustale]

Oh man, you just stepped in the landmine/bog/hornets nest of discourse that is "are the touden sibilings fat?"

Hah!!

I was looking up some details to be able to write that post, and the wiki page for Falin's character, in the stats section, had the Oddly Specific information of both her weight and her BMI—the latter being 24, which is Japanese for "unspeakably fat" (for a female character coded as young and conventionally attractive).

So the answer to that debate is a very obvious "yes," but with the caveat that the show's artists couldn't be / chose not to be overt about it and instead sent their message by pressing the envelope of conventional normality rather than just having an unambiguously fat character.

The subject of "conventional media depictions of fatness in conventional characters" is a fascinating one and itself a minefield. With reproductive-aged female characters in particular, fat representation simply did not exist until recently (and is still very much a fringe thing) except for characters coded as villains, comic relief, brutish minions of the evil class president, etc.* Even supes are like this. The erasure is so complete that it's almost like female bodies are physically incapable of becoming fat.

* I don't count the "Pixar mom" type with the caricaturized giant hips that sometimes appears in cartoons, because this is so clearly a caricature and in any case these characters' waists (and everything else besides their thighs and chests) are always comically tiny. But I suppose there's an argument to be made that they should be included.

So what ends up happening is that when, for whatever reasons, fat female characters are called for or desired, they are depicted the way Falin is: objectively thin, but fatter by comparison with everyone else. It's a negative space thing: By being less gaunt and skeletal, less tiny and wispy, even a BMI-normal weight can come across as "fat"—as it is meant to do by the casting directors / art directors. And so you can make either argument: You can point to characters like this and call them fat, or you can call them thin, and both are correct. This is also why fat-shaming in real life works on virtually anybody.

Another thing worth pointing out is that, in animation (and to a lesser extent in live action due to extensive filtering by the casting director), the bodies of these faux-fat characters are inevitably drawn unrealistically. Sticking with female characters (whose fatness is far more thoroughly erased), they almost always have the thigh gap, the big breasts, the narrow waists, the slender necks and chins. You never see the fatness that normally fills out these spaces, and you never, ever see rolls of fat, except for a kink just below the waist on each side where the hips flare out (technically this is the belly, but the drawing is such that it implies hips)—and in profile even this is completely lost, with little or no trace of a visible belly jutting forward. Fat itself simply is not drawn; faux-fat characters are instead drawn with exaggerated proportions of thin bodies. Or, rather, they are drawn with de-exaggerated skinniness, regressing from the visual aesthetic norms in animation toward more real-life shapes and proportions. Indeed, I say "unrealistically" above; these body types definitely exist in real life; but in real life we rightly call them thin or slender, or at least "average." This is not fatness in the qualitative sense (notwithstanding that there is necessarily more fat present in the body); it is the absence of emaciation.

I love character designs like Falin's, because they're usually the closest we get to fat representation of cute, attractive female characters. I am resigned to the fact that they're always going to be demons, or aliens, or anthropomorphic animals, or mythical beasts like in Falin's case or mermaids, etc., simply because "regular" human characters in this category aren't culturally allowed to be drawn as anything bigger than than moderately-to-extremely thin.

[lucystark12]

what are you thinking, finn wolfhard?

everything i'm about to say aligns with my finn wolfhard is a genius agenda.

it was just made apparent to me that not only did finn wolfhard film it 2017 before season two, but he filmed his scenes as boris in the goldfinch literally DAYS before filming season three. this is extremely hard for me to conceptualize. but it also makes me think about finn wolfhard himself who obviously knows the truth about mike wheeler's sexuality. if byler is as deep seeded as we want it to be, odds are that finn knew what was up from the beginning. which makes a girl think- did he know the same about richie tozier when he first played him in 2017?

lets look at richie a bit.

richie is obviously gay. i will not be taking arguments on this. i'm reading a reddit thred right now where people are debating it and i'm like- are you kidding me. but he wasn't gay in the source material. stephen king has stated as much in a vanity fair article. though he calls andy muscetti's choice "genius" (which it is, btw), he makes it clear that it wasn't his intention. it's explicitly clear in it chapter 2, and being wired like a byler shipper, i was able to suss it out in the first movie, but was that andy muscetti's intention to begin with?

there are many ways this change can be interpreted. assuming that it wasn't something that was explicitly written into the original character description for richie in the first movie, you could see this as something that was put in as a sign of the times, a statement if you will. it chapter one was written in 2015-2016 while we were still under obama's presidency, one that saw drastic improvements for the quality of life of a gay person in america. it chapter two was written during trump's presidency and could have been trying to brand itself as a statement of sorts. i only say this because as far as i can find (and PLEASE tell me if i'm wrong) there wasn't nearly as much evidence hinting at richie's sexuality in the first movie as there is for mike or will to use a relevant example.

the idea that finn wolfhard could have gone straight from it filming (summer of 2016) to stranger things filming (early november 2016) just having played a character who he knows was in the closet and in love with his best friend in the 80s could open up new interpretation to mke in season two. oddly, the reason i bring this up is because richie tozier to me is the mirror image of a kid i was friends with in middle school. they acted the same, they even weirdly looked and dressed the same. the only time i've ever made the comparison between middle school kid and mike wheeler was during season two, specifically in the scene where max leaves them the note, which leads me to believe that he could have carried other things over from other aspects of the it production.

season two isn't what really concerns me though. i'm looking more at season three. the goldfinch only moved to production in albuquerque in april of 2018, which is obviously where finn wolfhard filmed all of his scenes. however, stranger things 3 started production on april 23rd, 2018, which means there might have even been crossover between finn's shooting dates if not at least a very short gap of time between them. it chapter 2 was filmed that same summer likely with some of it's own crossover with stranger things three dates. finn wolfhard's lack of scenes in the second movie are probably what made this possible, but the scenes that he did have tackled very delicate topics that had to be handled with care. most actors get their scripts for minor roles like this a few weeks out from filming, which means that finn could have had his scripts for it chapter 2 that very explicitly make it clear that he's gay during filming for stranger things 3.

so here he is with one gay character right before season 3 and one right after. he knows how to handle these things, which means that every move he's making, especially in season three, is most likely intentional, especially if he knows this far in advance about mike's sexuality. i think it's totally feasible that he does. i'm fifteen and i understand what was happening between byler during the fight scene, finn was sixteen and, being a part of this show, probably understood what was going on too even if he wasn't outright told. doing justice to a season like this when he was also having to figure out scenes like the boreo taxi scene or the arcade scene with henry bower's cousin or r + e was probably at the forefront of his mind.

in conclusion, i just have one question:

what does this mean, finn wolfhard?

[etherealsworldvision]

What’s Your Current Energy and The Energy You’ll Come Into?

[ With a Bonus Mini Letter from Your Inner Self ]

Before I begin the reading I’d like to take a moment to talk about: Monterey Bay Aquarium. They’re a non-profit organization that aims to inspire conservation of the ocean. If you’re interested do check them out and if you’d like to further support them click donate.

Divider Credit: @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

New song discovery for the reading: Ecstasy by Anna Tsuchiya

1. 2. 3.

🚨 P.S.A 🚨 : I do not give personal readings! Disclaimer: this is for entertainment only!

Added Description: all my readings are timeless and meant to reach those who resonate to the messages.

[ General Messages: 3; Secret Circle; Rings; Chesapeake Bay; Pink and Purple; “Pick Me”; Uses this :3 text emoji; Slow Burn; Gradual changes; Relationship Content; Insecurity; Free things; DnD; WhatsApp; Comparison; Anticipation; Lana Del Rey; Coquette & Cottegcore; Becauseimmissy content ]

Pile 1

Cards: 6 of Swords; The Chariot; 2 of cups ®; 9 of Pentacles ®; The High Priestess; 2 of Pentacles

[ Messages: Izana Kurokawa; Temperament; Full Moon; Sagittarius or Capricorn Moon; 222; Strength; Unconditional Love; Diluted; Akon (?); Jealousy, Jealousy by Olivia Rodrigo; Heal; 19 or 22; “Silver-Spoon”; Kyle; Craving; Fanfics; 66; 9; June 6th ]

This is oddly specific but Kyle kept popping up…so idk if you are or dealing with a person with that name. It may be an extra confirmation.

Your Current Energy:

You may have moved on from a romantic connection (I’m not getting platonic), I’m getting the sense that you’re in a good place right now. It could have been a big accomplishment because we have the chariot (major arcana). You might’ve experienced a traditional connection that ended up being what you imagined.

For some reason, I keep thinking about relationship advice on tiktok and twitter (discourses). It may have placed a negative effect on your perception of what a relationship is supposed to look like. For a few, you may have grown up around traditional relationships and (might subconsciously) sought for that. Overall there is an emphasis on Traditional relationships regarding gender roles and stereotypes. I feel like it doesn’t help that there’s also a new-age agenda of approaching (new) relationships (mind games) as well as isolation.

After experiencing that you might’ve thought, “Why does everyone want this?” Or “Relationships aren’t all that great”. There’s this sense of having a nihilistic view in love because of media and personal experience. Which, I don’t blame you.

I don’t know if you recently stumbled on a post or something about love but I feel like it challenged your stance on it. Which leads to you wanting a better mindset of love & connections despite what you’ve gone through. Currently, you may be trying to find the balance in your connection (with yourself and other people) and getting to really know yourself.

The energy you’ll come into:

With the high priestess here, you may be learning how to be in tune with your emotions and your gut when it comes to people/connections. I feel like, because you’re getting to know yourself better and starting to understand what you want you’ll have an easier time seeking balance.

Compromise and balance is being emphasized in this reading, so maybe that’s the thing you’ll be focusing on (healing). What is your relationship with Compromise and Balance? How did it affect you? I also see that this will come once understanding nuances instead of having an “extremist” view. Another thing is that you crave for a stable relationship and seek it by finding someone who is stable.

Which is fine but there’s this big need of: them having to be “the (perfect) one” before entering in a committed relationship. You may have gotten fs readings/astro stuff because of this. The funny thing here is — in order to be in a committed relationship is to be okay with the unknown and trusting yourself. I know it’s easier said than done but that’s what I’m getting.

Another thing I’m getting is how you’re challenging yourself to be more focused on yourself in terms of finances, health, and basically practical things. There’s this sense of being grounded; how you want to treat yourself via materials and consumption.

Letter from Your Inner Self

“Who said we have to be rigid to be treated like ‘royalty’? Look at Simba! He's fun and outgoing — he’s still a well respected king and with the love of his life! We need to loosen up a bit, be more courageous when it comes to stepping out of our comfort zone. The longer we stay in our old ways we’ll end up living with regret, that’s worse than living with consequences! How about we do the first thing we were scared of? If we get a booboo on our knee that’s fine at least we did it. If they don’t show interest then that’s okay too, we can continue to sail. All I’m saying is we should have the courage to go with the flow and live our life to the fullest instead of wallowing or through the screen/fantasies. Let’s embrace the unknown and hope for the best, yeah?”

Alrighty pile 1 that’s all I have for you today. Thank you so much for sticking through until the end, I greatly appreciate it. I’m giving you virtual hugs 🫂 and shooting hearts at you! 🧡🧡🔫 *Pew Pew*

Pile 2

Cards: Knight of Swords; King of Pentacles; Empress ®; 10 of Cups; Knight of Cups; The Devil

[ Confirmation Messages: Rollercoaster; Lilo & Stitch; “Inner Demons”; Renaldo from Los Espookys; Camera; Water and Earth Placements; San Francisco; Fear; Amusement Parks; Kali Uchis; ‘Take a Seat’; Road-trips; Night Drives; 333 ]

Your Current Energy

Okay Pile 2 your current energy is stable in terms of finances (as well as materialistic things) and you’re well grounded. You may be looking into how you can better your current financial stability or just being more responsible by getting your needs met especially in money matters.

Another thing is — there’s this sense of caution in regards to spending money. Now, I can’t give financial advice (it’s not my forte) but I can give reassurance. If there is a bit of wiggle room to spend on a snack or on that t-shirt you like then it’s okay to get it. I feel like there’s this sense of shame in regard to spending despite being able to afford things.

I used to feel this way as well and I remember talking to my cousin about it. They would tell me, “Whenever I feel guilty about spending on things I like, I think about the amount of hard working hours I put in to be able to afford it.” To lessen the guilt or shame of buying something that makes us* happy. This doesn’t have to apply to huge spends — can be minor ones like an album or that pint of ice cream you’ve been eyeing at the store.

There’s just this sense of guilt of spending which leads to a bigger guilt of not being able to nurture yourself in the way you want to. I feel like there’s this blame you have towards yourself for wanting things and punishing yourself for not doing it (the “damned if you do damned if you don’t” situation). Based on your cards I don’t see money issues (currently going on) but I do see the trauma linked to it. I don’t know if this stems from childhood or recent experiences.

(If you can, talk with someone you trust. They may have some insight that you need or just connecting with someone in general.)

The Energy You’ll Come Into

What’s funny is: there’s this sense of “fuck it we ball” vibe. I don’t know how it got to this sudden shift but it’s reminding me of one of the reasons why this acc exists. So maybe a tiktok or reel will piss you off into buying something for yourself with zero shame.

( I struggle with imposter syndrome, when I saw a YouTube short of someone dropping a 50lb lollipop from a rooftop and called it an “experiment” (it’s just obnoxious food waste! There was no science or anything!). I got so mad that they were earning money for wasting food I ended up saying “fuck this I’m adding to society” and boom here I am lol. )

I’m not saying your financial trauma is going to magically disappear but there is this sense of being fed up with how it makes you feel. If you are (or will be) seeing a therapist you may be working on your relationship with this financial trauma. I think another thing that you will be coming into is learning how spending and financial issues have affected you. I feel like during this period you may be reflecting on your relationship with money while doing exposure therapy.

But yeah the energy you’ll come into is indulgence and emotional fulfillment (however be careful as to not over do it) without zero shame. Despite not having any balance cards besides the King of Pentacles — I do feel like that’s what you’ll be coming into. Working on balancing your wants and needs while regulating your emotions when it comes to money.

Letter from Your Inner Self

“I know we struggled with money but we’ve put in the hard work to make ourselves happy. Why not bask in our success for just a minute? Why not see how far we come by planning something for ourselves? Can’t we at least congratulate ourselves for putting our foot in the door and say “I did it”! Because we did do that! Yeah, yeah we dealt with delays, some difficulties along the way but we pulled through! We did that, baby! We made it happen — we have a job, a career! Let's celebrate ourselves and give ourselves the gratitude we deserve. We fucking earned it!”

Alrighty pile 2 that’s all I have for you today. Thank you so much for sticking through until the end, I greatly appreciate it! I’m wishing you the best! Remember it’s okay to have nice things for yourself! 🧡

Pile 3

Cards: Page of Swords; The World; 7 of Cups; Page of Pentacles; Knight of Cups; The Hierophant ®

[ Confirmation Messages: Astrology; Occult; Investments in Hobbies; Culinary Arts; New Passions; Lack; TikTok; Radios; Seltzers; Renaissance Fair; OktoberFest (?); Young or New Energy; Amethyst Crystal (Pendant); Twilight; Taking a Leap of Faith; Vampires; Vibrant Personality: 3 Body Problem ]

Your Current Energy

Your energy is like the sun after a cloudy day — like it is not like the other two piles. To be honest your excitement feels so contagious (in a good way). So you may have been very patient in the past or passive. You kind of just let life pass you by until something comes up.

When it did come to you and you took that chance it’s as if the world showed itself. There's so many options to choose from and that’s what’s getting you super excited. I feel called to say there are not wrong choices as it can work out with persistence and hard work.

Since you are in the process of accomplishing things or already achieved it — you may be wanting to expand/explore what’s out there for you. Let's say you got your drivers license, now you get to drive to the place you want. Or let’s say you took a chance on an idea then suddenly, you get loads of engagement. Because you took this chance a lot of opportunities are coming your way to the point it’s almost overwhelming.

The Energy You’ll Come Into

Because you’re putting in the work towards something you love — you’ll feel more fulfilled. I feel like whatever you’re working on will be another way to gain connections. It doesn’t have to be transactional connections — it just means you may make friends along the way or collaborate.

This especially applies to people who went the “unconventional route”. It feels like you made a decision that really aligns with you. I think what also really inspired you is seeing how people made their dreams come true, even if it’s by doing the simplest things. There is encouragement to remain open to what’s to come, especially when it comes to your creative skills.

I’m not getting too much on your future energy besides you making an earning from it and feeling fulfilled. I am getting this celebratory vibe that you have done it from the ground up. Through your patience and perseverance you were able to make it happen. I’m also getting a confirmation “yes, do it” to the question you’ve been really really thinking about.

Letter from Your Inner Self

“Listen…I know your intuition and anxiousness is going haywire right now. However, to feel your intuition you’ll feel a strong and I mean a strong pull to do something. I’m encouraging you to do it — do it even if you’re alone. You’ll never know the outcome unless you do it. Yes it’s unconventional but what’s the harm in taking that chance? We did it once, why not do it again and see where it takes us? It’ll make us happier knowing we did it instead of never doing anything. I believe in us, so don’t lose hope.”

Alrighty Pile 3 that’s all I have for you. Thank you so much for reading until the end, I greatly appreciate it! I’m so excited for you and wishing for things to go smoothly! Best of luck! 🍀🧡

[schrodingerspsycho]

Something something toxic codependent obsessive homoerotic relationships between numbers 6 and 9 on soccer teams

[osbcrne]

Hannigram and Verger Family analysis

TW: MARGOT AND WILL'S STOMACH SCARS MENTIONED AND IMAGES (underneith the cut)

HOLY SHIT YALL IM BACK WITH ANOTHER REALIZATION

so i just realized that wills "c section esque" scar he got from hannibal in mizumono might actually look that way for a reason

it could be symbolic to a hysterectomy because hannibal took their child away, and had to give Will scar somehow. And i mean, will technichally is the mother, he killed abigail's father placing her in his custody- hannibal only helped with it. Just how the criminals in season 1 (angelmaker, georgia madchen, abel gideon, etc) and their crime scenes were DIRECTLY paralleled to the progression of wills encephalitis and the state of his mental well being, Margot getting a hysterectomy from mason basically directly parallels will getting abigail taken from him.

Also, Margot choosing to have sex with Will specifically, and the child coming into their lives and then almost immediately being taken away (BY HANNIBALS DOING) forshadows abigail coming back and then almost immediately after, her death. Will empathized with margot (WHO HE KNEW WAS GAY, or at least hannibal did, it was stated in the script but was cut from the final product) about the lack of a child, which is literally the only reason had sex with her (he thought about the stag man the whole time anyway...)

This one specific conversation in the episode Tome-Wan is very important. Will says to hannibal, "you're fostering codependency. isn't that what you did to abigail? got her to take a life so she would owe you hers?" That's exactly what hannibal is doing to margot- trying to get her to kill mason so she would owe herself to hannibal. it also connects abigail and margot in a way.

continuing the conversation, will says "i bond with abigail, you take her away. i bond with barely more than the idea of a child, you take it away... you don't want me to have anything in my life that's not you." Hannibal, knowing very well the consequences, told mason about margot's plans and had the child taken forcibly away from her.

Hannibal also directly took abigail away from will, by cutting her throat in front of him. both of these things ended with a scar, margot's from the hysterectomy, will's from hannibal's knife, but it looks oddly familiar to margot's. Also remember, right before wills and margot got together, the two of them compared scars. (MORE ANALYSIS UNDER THE CUT)

Also i know this is kind of a strange comparison considering mason and his intentions, but in the episode Naka-Choko, this exchange happens:

margot is unable to kill mason because despite all the horrible things he does to her, deep down she still loves him and can't bring herself to do it. who does this sound like to you? yep- Hannibal and Will. Now bviously hannibal and will's love is very different from the verger's, but it's still a parallel

i can't believe i didn't realize it before but there's a LOT LOT LOT of parallels between hannigram and the vergers. one of them being they all were with alana (minus mason) 😭

thank you to a post by this user on tiktok for helping me realize this (idk why it won't let me link)

anyway, happy c2e2!! take cool pics w/ mads and hugh! i'll be watching the live stream of the panel tomorrow!

[theamazingmaddyas]

So, I've been hyperfixating on Michael Yew as a character in general (No, I'm not okay, all the fanfictions have emotional destroyed me) and I've been going through everything Michael related, and recently have been looking at Michael fan art, and I've realized that almost every fanart where he's with someone else he's oddly tall? Like, this isn't hate towards the artists, they're out here doing the gods work drawing minor characters, but it leads me to wonder if people really realize how small Michael truly is.

Michael's described as being four foot six, and while one could technically try and argue that Percy is an unreliable narrator and is estimating Michael's height, there is quite a bit of evidence on the contrary. Michael is one of, if not the only person who Percy gives an exact height to; even Annabeth, Percy just describes as being tall, never giving the reader an exact height. Besides, Percy's description of Michael is as followed, "Michael stood four feet six, with another two feet of attitude." If Percy were estimating, or even exaggerating, he'd probably use a preposition in his sentence. So, it's safe to say that Percy is 100% certain of Michael's height (which does leave the question how Percy's so certain of this fact, but we'll never know that, as much as I wish we did.)

I know most countries don't use feet, and as someone who read the U.S. edition, I cannot be positive, but I'd assume if other dialects of English, or different languages, had their prints, it would be in what's common there (probably centimeters?) But if not, here's a conversion chart for everyone:

4ft 6in = 4.5 ft = 54 in = 137.16 cm = 1.37 m

Okay, so we all know how objectively small Michael is, but how does that compare to other people? It's difficult sometimes to make such comparisons between two characters, so I found a height comparision thing to show the height difference. As you, hopefully, can see, the first picture I put Michael (4'6" or 137.16cm) next to Percy (who's about 6' or 182.88 cm). And the second, Michael next to Coach Hedge (5') because his height is made explicit in heroes of olympus, while Percy's is just a guesstimate.

Michael doesn't even reach Percy's shoulder in height, despite the two being the same age, or Michael being older (which I genuinely believe: see my previous post about Michael). Even with Hedge, who people comment on how small he is, has a noticeable few inches on Michael, who reaches to probably about his nose or upper lip.

Now, mostly Michael is drawn with the other Apollo boys, and I've rarely see a fanart where Will's taller than him. Maybe it's because Will is explicitly a few years younger than him (at minimum, 2½, at maximum, 5ish), or maybe not, I'm not sure.

According to the wikipedia page, Will Solace is 6', but again, we take everything on the wikipedia page with a grain of salt, because Will is just described as tall in the books, specifically in Heroes of Olympus where Will would be about 14 or 15 (though, this is also a bit iffy. I could write a whole thesis on Will's age, specifically how I believe Apollo's description of Will's age is overexaggerated in THO, but that's for another post). Using this math, Will would have been approximately 13 to 14 when Michael kicked the bucket. The average height for a 13 year old boy is 5'1" to 5'5", meaning, if Will's height were truly above average, he'd be, at minimum, 11 inches taller than his brother in TLO, which is:

Even if the fanart is depicted a young Will like starting it camp, there is no plausable way for him to be taller than Michael.

Here's a chart for average heights of a white boy (while we do not know Michael's ethnicity, this chart is easiest to show). The red dot is Michael's height in The Last Olympian, if he were 16, and the yellow dot is Will's approximate height, at 13.

If you were to graph out Michael's height, it'll be pretty obvious that the only ages he's taller than Will is when he's really really young (I study neither biology nor math, so I couldn't be bothered to actually figure out the formula, but maybe I will someday) if Michael grew at an average rate. If his growth was normal until about ten and then was stunted, that would be a different story, but we, as readers, will never truly know the reason.

I might not be a bio or math major, but I do double major in creative writing and psychology, and that means I'm interested in why Michael is drawn taller in comparision to who he's with. And for this I have a few theories.

The first one, which I mentioned a bit ago in this post, is age. People percieve being taller as being older—though once you reach adulthood this becomes less infallible, though since they are kids that doesn't matter much—meaning if Michael were drawn his actual height, he'd be percieved as younger. While I'm not positive, I have an inkling this stems from ableism, but I have no proof to back up that claim.

My second theory is that, much like the fact that many people in the fandom say Connor and Travis are twins even though it is explicitly stated they are not, people genuinely forgot. Or one person said something, and it snowballed from there.

My third and final theory is that people just can't fully comprehend the height difference in their mind. I struggle with creating mental images, and it's possible that many other people do.

It's interesting to think about, really. And I'd really like to know if other people noticed this, or if I'm just overthinking everything again.

[sprinklenoodles]

I'm baaaaack! I got a doozy of a piece too! For The Heir of Despair!

Read all that was there and I am here to share my thoughts in a slightly coherent way! Sorry in advance if I repeat myself! First, Byakuya, my boy. Oh my gosh are you an irredeemable prick! I say this in a good way by the way! Like, you wrote him good in the sense that I am routing for his downfall in some way and was very excited near the end when he slightly didn't get his way. Bravo! You have succeeded in making me dislike my boy! (I still love him <3) But, anyway, reading what's here really got my brain thinking! Like, what might happen with Byakuya and Junko. In fact, Here's a lightning round of fun little questions that make my brain do acrobatics in a skating park! Not for answering of course! That's be lame! I must expel these out though haha!

There! Got it out of my system!! As for some other thoughts, I enjoy the canon divergences! Obviously the main gimmick is itself one, but you get what I mean! Also, I have no way to segway into this but I was no joke quoting and spouting a bunch of goofy crap and like, I can't just NOT give a peak into the innerworkings of my mind. So, here. Take those and a bit of tidbits on the context I said them in. "Leave that little guy alone!" - Said mostly for Chihiro and Makoto, both when Byakuya was manipulate, mansplain, malewife-ing his way through existence. Less malewife though. Or scratch it. No malewife-ing for him. Not in this time line u_u "Byakuya! Have you learned nothing!" - Just any time Byakuya was doing stuff I found worthy of mocking him for. Might have to re-read everything to find the specifics cus I unfortunately did not count those moments in a spread sheet T-T "You're no good, Byakuya! You'll never be shit! You're just like your father!" - I find this one funny cus I legit find Kijo a saint in this in comparison to his son. It's both because the man hasn't really done much and he's not the focus. I also had a realization though that the reason I want this Byakuya to suffer so much is because I know he can do better than this! Like, Byakuya as a character! Unlike Kijo, he has the potential for redeemable qualities which makes his reveling in his own ego less camp, more pathetic. Like, Kijo makes it fun because he sucks, he will never improve, and that's that! And it's not like Byakuya can't be that fun camp! He just has to not be a monster! I like this factor in this Byakuya though in this fic. It really encapsulates how bad he could be. How he can surpass his father in horrible behavior, and actions. Like, it's sick reading how much he enjoys all of this and you did a really good job at it! Also, I have no idea how to fit this either but I DID mentally joke to myself that I wouldn't mind Junko actually cutting of a limb from Kijo just to make Byakuya suffer a bit (even if it probably won't be much sadly) and I have no idea how to take that... I think that, weirdly enough, I like ridiculing this Byakuya. I want him to fail. And like, it's insane you're writing can do that!! Be proud!! Like, this isn't even the type of fic I normally read and I've been able to enjoy it. You wrote many variants of just one rich guy and they're all distinct enough to feel different about them but similar enough where you can see where the divergences lie and I really like that!! And, it's oddly cool reading something and knowing that I could never write this. This goes for all your fics by the way but like, it's really cool reading this and just knowing that someone's able to write something I could never. I'm too much of a softie for Byakuya, even when I'm mean to him heehee! No clue if this makes sense by the way. I'm kinda blabbering now so I might end it here! But yeah! You got some cool stuff!

Aaahhh!!! Thank you!!! LOVE the art as always, it looks AWESOME!!

And yeah, Byakuya is NOT a good guy. He's very much a prick and supposed to be like that.

As for your questions, I obviously can't answer those... Though, the answer to some are no and some are yes... That's all I'll say.

And Chihiro is really going through it, with Makoto joining him soon. Byakuya will unfortunately not be leaving them alone 😔

Kijo is strangely enough a better person here, though he still ain't good. Like, he is very much on board with the killing game. He doesn't really like that Byakuya is in it cuz he doesn't want his heir to die, but that's all.

He's also very petty tho and is quite offended Byakuya kept him in the dark about everything. It's why he agreed to the motive. And unfortunately, no missing limbs for Kijo. That is reserved for another dad only in an AU that isn't mine...

But Byakuya is not nice, yeah. And like you said, he could be much better but he simply doesn't want to. He likes the way things are and loves to manipulate some of his classmates.

And that makes people not like him, just as intended. He's the protagonist but one you want to fail. Cuz if he doesn't, that means something bad for the rest of the cast...

But thank you!! I really like writing these different versions of him and it's really not as hard as it might seem. Tbh, it comes kinda natural if anything! Though, I get being the softie to Byakuya, I myself would never hurt him... Other than the countless times he got injured in my fics... :D

[theragethatisdesire]

much ado about nothing chapter 1 - eren x reader - 18+!!!

DISCLAIMER: this post contains MATURE CONTENT that is intended only for those over 18. if you are a minor, please do not read below the cut.

i am so excited for you guys to finally meet the eren that has been haunting my dreams for the last few weeks lol.

specific cws for this chapter: drug use/mentions, alcohol use, a wee pinch of smut (fantasizing specifically), swearing, floch being the actual worst

“Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?” - As You Like It by William Shakespeare (Act III, Scene 5)

You take advantage of the short ride to your fourth-floor apartment to release your heavy tote bag from your shoulder, wincing as it crashes against the elevator floor. The little boom makes your head pound, and you rub your eyes hard enough to see stars, trying to suppress a frustrated groan. It’s week six of the semester, midterm week, and as an undergraduate professor, you’re feeling the pressure as much as your students.

You’re feeling the pressure twofold; you may have thirty-five midterm essays to grade, but you also have four to write for your Master’s program, absolutely none of which you’ve started. You’ve called Eldia University home for the last six years, and while the library is essentially a second apartment to you at this point, the four thirteen-hour days you’ve pulled there just this week are starting to take a toll on your sanity.

The front door of your apartment looks like an oasis in a desert, and your knees nearly buckle when you crack the door and the scent of home hits your nose.

“That you?” Historia’s voice reaches your ears, floating from living room.

“Yeah,” you call back, placing your keys on the little decorative key holder Historia bought junior year, slumping with relief when you abandon your tote by the door. You’re burnt out, but Historia has lived with you for almost four years now; being around her is as good as being alone. You scrounge around in the fridge for a well-earned beer, popping it open and rounding the corner to join her in the living room. To your surprise, she isn’t alone.

“Stor?” Your initial reaction is confusion, quickly elevating to alarm when the man sitting across from Historia turns his body to you, giving you a glimpse of several baggies full of pills. Your cute, hand-painted coffee table is currently covered in drugs.

Historia smiles sheepishly. “My professors fucking hate me. Just a little study aid.”

You nod slowly, the panic dissipating in your chest– so she hasn’t fully gone off the deep end. You’ve both used Adderall to get this far along in your academic careers, not liberally, but desperate times and all that.

Now that the source of the pills is sorted, you draw your attention to the unfamiliar man looking laughably huge in comparison to the little Urban Outfitters bean bag he’s perched on. He’s lifted his face to look at you now, eyes none-too-subtly flicking down to where your tits are being pushed together by your crossed arms. Scummy, you think, but oddly enough, you don’t mind. He’s hot, like where-do-they-even-make-guys-like-you hot, deep brown hair pulled into a messy bun and brooding, bloodshot eyes scanning you up and down. The side of his pouty mouth quirks up.

“Hi,” you state awkwardly, offering your name. You’ve partied, sure, but you’ve never been into the druggie scene, never gotten the hang of interacting with these guys that possess the nonchalant confidence that only drug dealers can tout.

“Eren.” The name fits him well, simple but unique. His voice is deeper than you expected, a low rumble. He shuffles through the pill baggies he’s brought with him. “Want anything? I have 40 and 60 milligram Adderalls and Vyvanse, some extended release…”

“I’m clocked out for the day,” you tip your beer bottle at him meaningfully. Eren’s smile grows at your little quip.

“Thought I’d ask while I’m here.”

“Thanks,” you say, unsure of what to do with yourself now. You settle for plopping down beside Historia on the couch, sipping your beer quietly as you watch the little transaction take place on your coffee table. You’re not involved, not after the obligatory introductions, but he’s piqued your interest. You listen as he walks Historia through what she’s purchased, how many, and how much it will cost.

When Historia leaves to grab her wallet, he turns his gaze towards you. “Grad school?”

You’re surprised; he’s so casual, borderline bored, with the way he carries himself that you hadn’t expected idle conversation from him. “Yeah, I teach a couple undergraduate classes, too.”

“That’s a lot,” Eren looks impressed, “you must be pretty smart, then.”

“Pretty broke, you mean. I get a huge discount on my tuition if I teach while I take classes,” you explain. Eren nods along, a curious glint in his green eyes. It strikes you that he’s not just hot, he’s actually pretty, in a grungy, bad-boy sort of way. Historia returns with a beer for herself and her money, snapping you out of your private realization and whatever strange tension has begun to build across the coffee table.

You find yourself admiring his large hands, taking note of the little sparrow tattoo nestled on the back of his hand behind his thumb, watching intently as he counts Historia’s cash. Your stomach twists in a way it hasn’t in a very long time as he bids you goodbye. Oh boy.

“I take this as a sign that we’re going out tonight?” Historia gestures to both of your beers. You’re a little shaken from the last five minutes, blinking slowly as your Shakespeare-saturated brain works through what she’s said.

“I mean, I wasn’t going to go out out, but I could definitely blow off some steam.”

“Thank god you said that,” Historia sighs dramatically, flopping back into her seat beside you and taking a long swig out of her bottle, “Ymir’s going home this weekend, and I’d look like such a sad sack if I went and sat at Scout’s by myself.”

You chuckle, thinking fondly of the grimey dive bar you’ve both developed an affinity for. “That would be pretty pathetic, but I’m happy to be of service. Scout’s it is.”

“Should we text Sasha?” Historia starts rattling on about what she wants to wear– something cute, but not too cute, but not trying not to look cute– and your tired mind drifts back to…Eren, oddly enough. You want to think into why he asked if you were in school, why he looked at you like you were a puzzle he couldn’t put together, but you were as realistic as you were imaginative. Sure, Eren didn’t exactly seem the type to make small talk, but you’d known him for all of five seconds. And maybe that wasn’t a look, maybe it was just…his face? You’re out of ideas, mulling it over when Historia snaps her fingers in front of your face.

“You’re not even listening to me, are you?”

You sigh, busted. “Nope. Not one word.”

“Are you seriously that braindead from the library? And here I was thinking you got home early today,” Historia shakes her head pityingly.

You sink your teeth into your bottom lip, and before you can stop yourself: “How do you know that Eren guy?”

“I was going to ask how you didn’t know Eren,” Historia says, eyes widening incredulously, “who was your dealer in college?”

You grimace. “Floch.”

“Figures,” Historia rolls her eyes with a visible shudder, “I still don’t know why you ever–”

“Stor, focus,” you reroute her before that unfortunate conversation can be rehashed, “Eren?”

“I think he sold Ymir and me some molly at a party sophomore year– no, wait, maybe junior?” Historia shrugs. “I don’t really know, actually. He’s just one of those guys everyone knows one way or the other.”

“Not me I guess,” you take a sip, trying your best to look nonchalant. Historia knows you too well, however, a wicked grin playing at her mouth.

“You think he’s cute, don’t you?”

“What? No, he’s like, a sketchy drug dealer. No way.” Your face grows warm, betraying you.

“Eren’s not sketchy,” Historia says decisively. She catches the disbelieving expression on your face. “He’s really not. He lives like, three blocks from us, and he hangs out with Armin and them.”

“Armin?” You picture the soft-spoken blonde man you’ve befriended from your graduate courses who always wears sweater vests and prefers tea to coffee. Armin’s damn near a genius, far too bright for your small program. “Like, Armin Armin?”

“They’re like, best friends,” Historia affirms, “see? Not sketch. Plus, he’s super fucking hot.”

“You’re literally a lesbian,” you deadpan, “how would you know?”

“I may fuck women, but I have eyes,” Historia smirks, “plus, he was totally checking you out. When was the last time you even got laid?”

Embarrassingly, you have to think on that one. It’s been at least since before the semester started, and you were so busy with those summer courses, not to mention that bartending job you’d taken for extra cash… “I…I honestly don’t know.”

“See?” Historia wiggles her feet under her bottom excitedly, sitting up on her knees. “I have his number–”

“I am literally twenty-four years old. Don’t you think we’re a little too mature to run around fucking our drug dealers?”

“On account of my lovely, beautiful girlfriend and aforementioned lesbianism, I am. You, on the other hand, are not,” Historia grins, pulls out her phone, “you sure you don’t even want his Snapchat?”

“My Snapchat career died when I drank my last Four Loko like, three years ago,” you scoff, shoving her phone away from you. “Don’t you have a not-cute outfit to put on, anyway?”

Historia narrows her eyes at you. “It’s not not cute, it’s trying not to be cute while simultaneously being cute!”

“What?”

“I actually confused myself a little with that one,” she admits, scratching her head, “but you’re right. The sooner we can get to the bar, the better.”

You both scramble through the pile of clean clothing on your floors, each of you too busy and overworked to bother putting it away, and before you know it, you’re in your happy place: chatting with Sasha and Historia, tucked snug against the sticky bar at Scout’s. You’ve all been coming here since the fake ID days; you still remember Historia’s twenty-first, when she had smacked her real driver’s license into the chest of the grumpy old barkeep, Levi, with a triumphant “Ha!”. He’d given you all a round of free shots, and then promptly thrown you out and banned you for a week as time-out. You’d all taken to calling him “Captain” because of the way he ran his bar tight like a navy ship.

“Oh, Captain Levi!” Sasha sing-songs down the bar at him, waving her empty beer bottle and blowing him a kiss. Levi’s unimpressed, dropping another Bud Light onto a coaster in front of her and walking away without a word. “He hates me.”

“He hates you,” you agree, nodding into– what is this, your third beer? Fourth? You’ve already resigned yourself to a lazy Saturday morning, deciding (after some prodding from Historia and Sasha) that your overworked brain deserves more than a two-hour break.

“I don’t get why,” Sasha pouts, digging her hand into the complimentary peanuts the Captain had flung at you upon arrival, “I always tip well.”

“You have to tip well because you annoy the shit out of him every time we come,” Historia corrects her, glancing towards the door.

You frown at her. “Who are you looking for? That’s like, the fourth time you’ve checked the door since we got here.”

Historia makes a show of faux-innocence, checking her phone and looking back at the door again. “No one.”

“Ymir’s out of town, and we’re both here, so that rules out the only suspects I can think of,” Sasha shrugs. You watch Historia closely, the way she checks her phone every few moments, the way her eyes haven’t landed anywhere but you or the door for the last ten minutes, remembering the way she had insisted you tug your shirt down to bare a little more cleavage a few minutes ago…your heart drops. 

“You. Fucking. Didn’t.”

“Didn’t what?” Historia’s got a smile tucked under her teeth now, another glance toward the door.

“You didn’t!”

“Didn’t what?” Sasha whips back and forth between you two, panicked. “Didn’t what?”

“You did not invite him.”

“I didn’t invite him–”

“Who?” Sasha demands. You seethe, refusing to take your withering glare off of Historia.

“Her fucking dealer.”

“You have a dealer now, Stor?” Sasha’s eyes fly wide with worry.

“He’s not my dealer,” Historia rolls her eyes, “it’s Eren.”

“Eren Jaeger?” Sasha calms instantly, even looking bored. “Why does that matter? Is he bringing Armin?”

“He came over earlier, and he was totally checking her out–”

You interrupt Historia’s explanation, exasperated. “How does everyone know Eren?”

“I told you, he’s just one of those guys–”

“Everyone knows, I know,” you grumble, taking a long sip, “but even Sasha knows him, and I don’t? I mean, come on.”

“I only know him through Connie,” Sasha pets your arm, chastising, “and my old roommate was hooking up with him for awhile. He’s seriously packing.”

“I heard that!” Historia practically squeals, shaking Sasha’s arm. “Is it true?”

“Who cares?” You shoot daggers at both of them, well aware that you’re making a show out of your annoyance. A small part of your brain does care what’s lurking behind Eren’s zipper, but it’s not like you’re going to act on it. “Why did you invite him, Historia? We don’t even know the guy.”

“I told you,” Historia shows you her phone, proof on the screen, “I didn’t invite him. I just happened to mention we’d be here, and it turns out he’s coming anyway. See?”

> thanks for coming by such short notice earlier! is anyone having a kickback tonight? we’re stopping in at scouts but not sure ab later.

> Not that i know of but me and min will be there later i have a few guys picking up around 10 see u then.

The English major part of your brain instantly hates the way he texts; what kind of psycho doesn’t include a single punctuation mark in between three independent clauses excepting a period at the end?

“He texts like he’s illiterate,” you wrinkle your nose. Historia and Sasha groan.

“He’s a dude, he probably is illiterate, but who cares? I’m talking like eight inches–” Sasha’s cut off by Captain Levi reaching across the bar to slam her beer back onto its coaster from where she had moved it onto the hardwood, fixing her with a disgusted glare. “Oops.”

“Poor Captain,” you muse, watching as he dutifully polishes a set of clean tumbler glasses. “No wonder he hates you.”

“He hates everyone, if it makes you feel any better.” A familiar voice floats over your shoulder, and you smile, swiveling on your barstool to lock eyes with Armin. You hug him like you hadn’t just seen him this morning, the few drinks you’ve had pushing you to be a little over affectionate.

“How are you?”

“Thirsty,” Armin responds, smiling bashfully. Your excitement fizzles into nerves when you notice who’s behind him. Eren got his hands tucked into the pockets of a well-loved, olive-green hoodie (that makes his eyes pop, an unhelpful part of your brain notices), one corner of his mouth quirked up.

“Funny seeing you here,” Eren exchanges a conspiratorial glance with Historia, one that makes your entire face warm.

“Very funny,” you say dryly, shooting a nasty look in Historia’s direction, “work or pleasure?”

“Mostly the former,” Eren says, reaching over the bar to grab two beers from the ice well, “but might as well.”

Your jaw drops; you look back to the Captain, waiting for him to throw Eren out of his bar, but the Captain simply nods coolly at Eren, returning to his polishing.

“How did you just survive that?” You can’t help but gape at him. Eren hands one of the beers to Armin, shrugging.

“I keep half of his late-night staff awake and on-task. Call it a perk of the job.” You want to hate the ease with which he says it, but the lack of arrogance in his voice stops you. He’s not like other dealers you’ve met, always covered in tacky face tattoos and posting Instagram stories of, like, three hundred dollars, showing it off like it’s enough to buy more than a decent used TV with. In fact, you couldn’t picture Eren showing anything off; he’s self-assured, but not smug. Cool, but not out of touch.

“We’ve been coming here for years, and the Captain still hates us.” You’re loath to admit it, but you’re a little– but just a little– impressed. Eren raises an eyebrow at Sasha behind you, telling some story to Armin that evidently requires so much enthusiasm that she’s waving her hands wildly, nearly knocking her beer over. Armin catches the bottle as it happens, looking over his shoulder anxiously at Levi.

“I wonder why.”

“Sasha’s just…” you want to defend your friend, but she’s busy tipping her beer over for the second time, “easily excited.”

“And you’re not?” Eren asks quizzically, amusement clear on his face. In comparison to his unreadable resting expression, any form of emotion looks good crossing his features. A nervous fluttering erupts in your stomach, one you desperately try to quell.

“Hey! I’m fun, just…not as fun as Sasha.”

“I don’t think many people are,” Eren agrees, wincing as Sasha’s beer finally escapes Armin’s quick fingers, crashing over the bar. Levi rushes over to scold her, something that makes both of you laugh.

When you turn back to Eren, his eyes are looking over the top of your head in the direction of the door. A sandy-haired frat dude has entered, looking around and tapping his foot with an obviousness that rivals having walked in with a huge neon sign that read Looking for my plug. Annoyance flickers on Eren’s face for a moment, and he sighs.

“Gimme a sec,” he sets his beer beside yours, “I’ll be right back.”

You haven’t indulged in the conversation long enough to require the promise of a return, but as you watch him walk towards the door, steer the frat dude into a corner you know the cameras don’t catch, you catch a hint of excitement in yourself for him to come back. You pick anxiously at the label on your beer bottle, putting conscious effort into looking anywhere but the back of Eren’s head until an unpleasant, familiar scent envelops you. Your stomach roils.

“Hey you,” Floch slides into Eren’s formerly-occupied spot, smiling saccharinely sweet, “where have you been hiding?”

You can practically feel Historia and Sasha bristling behind you; Floch isn’t an ex, exactly, more like a prolonged series of lapses in judgment. You sigh, trying to look just interested in him enough not to be rude.

“You know me, I stay busy.”

“So busy you can make time for Scout’s without inviting me?”

You feel the grimace flicker momentarily across your face. “You’re here anyway, aren’t you?”

“Would have come earlier if I knew you were going to be here,” he gets closer, his tacky cologne clouding the air around you. You nearly groan; what had ever possessed you to hook up with this guy? Multiple times? The thorn he is in your side now is what you deserve for your stupidity.

“Can we just cut to the chase?” You surprise even yourself with how curt you sound. “I’m too busy for anything like…that at the moment.”

Floch pouts, contrived innocence on his freckled face. “Anything like what?”

You open your mouth to answer, but Eren’s pushing his way back into the spot he’d been standing, interrupting whatever weak-willed excuse you were preparing to offer Floch. Floch’s clearly flustered, moving aside to make room for Eren, eyes flickering between the both of you.

“Hey Jaeger, good to see you again, man,” Floch slaps a stiff hand on Eren’s shoulder. The look on Eren’s face can only be described as a mixture of bewilderment and thinly-veiled distaste; you have to hide your snicker behind your hand.

“Yeah, you too…?”

“Floch Forster,” Floch’s eyes dart off to the side, a light flush rising to his cheeks. “I think we actually met a while ago, at Onyo’s birthday thing? I’m a friend of hers.”

Eren’s eyes meet yours; you try to make the most subtle expression you can to alert Eren to the fact that you and Floch are most definitely not friends. Eren inclines his head ever so slightly to confirm that he’s picked up on your signal, turning to Floch and using the few inches he has on him to bully the other man further out of your space.

“Okay well, Floch, we were sort of in the middle of something, so if you don’t mind…”

You blink, startled at Eren’s bluntness, the sort of outright tone that’s only used by someone who can back up their shit. Floch’s taken aback, backing up by a foot or so, but he furrows his brow. He’s never been one to go down easy.

“In the middle of what, exactly? We can’t all be friends?���

Eren chuckles lightly, but the threat is there. “No.”

Floch’s features twist with anger. “What’s your problem, dude?”

“No problem,” Eren says coolly, “just in the middle of something.”

Floch looks to you to confirm, and you nod your head silently, angling your barstool towards Eren to make your point. “I’ll see you around, Floch.”

“Yeah,” Floch’s frown grows deeper, but he mercifully makes his way back to his table, “see ya.”

A beat of pregnant, awkward silence passes between you and Eren as Floch retreats, the unasked question weighing the air down between you.

“So, he’s not–”

“Please tell me that isn’t–”

You both speak at the same time, cutting yourselves off with a laugh. Eren brings his beer to his lips, grinning. “You first.”

“Not that it’s any of your business, but he’s not an ex.”

Eren raises a suspicious eyebrow. “Could have fooled me.”

“He’s just…a bad decision or two, that’s all.” That’s as gently as you can put it without bringing up the days when you were as fun as Sasha, maybe even more so, pounding as much tequila as you could get your hands on and going home with more than a few unsavory characters. You’ve left most of that life behind now, but Floch loves to rear his head at the worst moments and rarely backs down without a fight. “Thanks for getting him out of here, by the way.”

“You didn’t seem overly interested,” Eren finishes his beer, leans forward onto the bar and makes a little hand signal to Levi. You smirk.

“Only get the first round free?”

“Two more,” Eren ignores your teasing to speak to Levi, pointing between himself and your near-empty bottle. He pulls out a twenty, slides it to Levi, holds up his hand when Levi offers him change.

“Big spender too, huh?”

Eren rolls his eyes, something playful toying at the corner of his mouth. “Just because me and ‘Min drink for free, doesn’t mean you do. If I’m getting you a beer, I’m going to pay for it.”

“And tip triple what it’s worth?”

“Honestly,” Eren leans close to you and lowers his voice, something woody and intoxicating wafting off of him, “I think I pissed off your ex, and if he’s anything like the guy I think he is, he’s going to get trashed and try to fight the pinball machine in the corner. It’s the least I can do.”

His proximity goes to your head, makes your brain cloudy. He’s close enough that you can see his pulse thudding in his throat. You swallow hard, scramble for a response. “Aren’t you quite the philanthropist? And he’s not my ex.”

“Go tell him that,” Eren scoffs, “get the pinball fight on early.”

“Do you talk to every girl like this?”

“Like what?”

“Patronizing,” you say accusingly, letting a sip of cold beer wash over your tongue, hoping it will shock you out of your little trance. To your surprise, a divot appears between Eren’s thick brows and his bottom lip sticks out a bit in a pout.

“‘M not trying to be patronizing,” he leans on the bar, god, now he’s even closer, “sorry if it came off that way.”

“I was teasing,” you smile half-heartedly, leaning back in your barstool to get a few precious inches between you two.

“I just…really don’t like that kid. Gives me a bad vibe.”

“You’ve hit the nail on the head there,” you agree, chancing a glance back over your shoulder to the redheaded man at the hightop. Floch doesn’t notice you peeking, too caught up in making a group of underclassmen who are definitely underage giggle demurely at whatever he was saying. That was always something you hated about him; he was so showy, always having to establish himself as the center of attention in every room. He was just so unlike…Eren. You want to smack a palm to your forehead, knock the thought right out of your brain.

Something catches Eren’s attention, and you turn to look. Yet another antsy frat boy is hovering by the door, sweating bullets. Eren glances down at you apologetically, but you only smile back at him, understanding.

“Go ahead.”

“Two seconds,” Eren promises, pressing his beer into your hand as a guarantor of his return.

The next hour or so passes in mostly the same fashion; Eren alternates between standing beside you and making inconspicuous handshakes with a few more customers that come ambling into the bar. Some are anxiety-ridden like the first two, some appear to be friends, clapping Eren on the back and pulling a bright, genuine smile out of him that makes your stomach do backflips. You shoot the shit in the meantime, bickering over trivial topics like the best late-night pizza shops around and which streaming service is actually worth the money.

You don’t learn anything too substantial about Eren, but you do learn a few things. He seems to enjoy listening to you talk about literature, a welcome change from Historia and Sasha, psychology graduate students who tend to zone out whenever you let a term like “character development” slip. His eyes light up when you go into a detailed rant about how Hamlet isn’t overrated and anyone who thinks it is just doesn’t know how to properly analyze it, and he cackles when you inform him that Dante’s Inferno is essentially Bible-based fanfiction that has irreparably altered the Christian religion for the worse.

You learn that family is a sore spot, an innocent, obligatory question from you about life back home casting a shadow over Eren’s face. You immediately backtrack, of course, but pocket his reaction so you can avoid the topic later. You learn that he’s a cat person; he has a little black kitten at home named Gumi from his favorite anime. You learn that he’s deathly allergic to pistachios, but not any other nuts for some reason that his childhood doctors could never pinpoint. Most recently, you’ve learned that he hates tequila, basing this observation on his fake-retching reaction when Sasha orders a round of shots.

He raises his eyebrows, impressed, when you throw yours back without flinching. “So you’re a tequila girl, huh?”

“I’m blowing off steam,” you brush him off. You can hear your voice developing a slight slur to it, though, and behind you, Sasha and Historia are starting to sing some old, classic rock song you used to pregame with. You know your fun night out has started to reach its expiration date.

“Not driving, right?”

“God no,” you shake your head vigorously, “I live around the corner, remember?”

“That’s right,” Eren’s mouth quirks up in a way that makes you think he’s not thinking about the past, but of a potential future he could file that address away for. Warmth pools in your stomach, bubbling low and molten in your core; yeah, you need to get out of here.

“Speaking of…” you pull your purse around to set it in your lap, rifling through it for your credit card, “we should probably head that way soon. When I start taking shots and Sasha starts singing, it’s bedtime.”

Eren blushes; you have to hold back a giddy laugh at how cute it looks on him. “You don’t need that.”

“Don’t need what?’

“Your card.”

You roll your eyes at him. “I get that you have friends in high places here, but my name is permanently engraved on the Captain’s shit list, so I actually have to pay my tab.”

“I, uh, sorta took care of it while you were in the bathroom. Figured you’d be heading out soon.” Eren rubs a hand over the back of his neck. If you didn’t know better, you’d think he almost looks bashful.

You blink, processing his words. “Eren…you didn’t have to do that.”

“Wanted to,” he shrugs, turning to face the community of sticky bottles on Levi’s side of the bar, the pink on his cheeks deepening.

“I’m going home alone,” you clarify, just in case you’ve given him the wrong impression. Well, it might not necessarily be the wrong impression; you’ve been trying to keep the simmering under your skin contained all night, but you’re still not going to take him home…at least not the first day you’ve met him, you tell yourself.

“Yeah, I know,” he chuckles, “I didn’t pay because I thought it’d convince you to go home with me. Sometimes people are just nice.”

You’re a little stunned. Somehow you think you’d be less surprised if he had said he paid it with the expectation of you fucking him. “...right. Well, thank you, anyway. You really didn’t have to.”

“No problem,” Eren’s air of casual coolness has returned, he slings an arm around your shoulder when you slide off of your barstool to land on the floor beside him, squeezing your body tight to his in a little half-hug. “It was cool talking to you. Sure you don’t need an escort?”

He eyes Sasha and Historia behind you, giving their goodbyes to Armin via a peppering of kisses all over his now-red face. You shake your head up at him, feeling rather incapacitated with the weight of his muscly arm bearing down on your shoulders. “I think we’ll survive.”

“I’ll see you soon, then.” The promise glitters in his eyes as it leaves his lips, leaves your head in a whirl.

To your disappointment, he hugs Historia and Sasha goodbye, too, and you make your drunken way home, arms linked as you charge through the October chill. Your friends beg for details of your night, Historia gloating intermittently, but you aren’t even sure what to tell them. Nothing of importance had really happened, and yet, it felt like it had.

As you drift into what will hopefully be a long night of much-needed sleep, you try to make a mental list of all the things you need to do to set up your class’ next unit. You’re moving onto Shakespeare, but your hazy mind keeps inexplicably wandering back to green eyes, plush lips, long fingers wrapping around a sweaty bottle. You hadn’t actually been lying to Floch when you told him you were far too busy for anything remotely resembling male companionship for the time being, but something about Eren…he was stuck to your dwindling consciousness, the most irrelevant details of your conversation together playing on a loop in your head. Much ado about nothing, indeed.

[sinisxtea]

dreamscape album thoughts bc i don't remember the last time i did a full review of an album since doyoung album

intro: dreamscape

i love the cutesy vibes <33 it's so very parallelism to icantfeelanything with the rushing and mixing of the vocals and songs, but in a contrasting vibe it's more uplifting rather than the dreariness of icantfeelanything. although

lowkey sounds like something that could come out of animal crossing idk

when i'm with you

THE HOUSE MUSIC IM LAUGHING SM ENTERTAINMENT WHY DO WE KEEP BRINGING HOUSE BACK

house isn't my favorite genre so i feel like it's a bit weak

but i'll definitely gaslight myself into liking the title track dw guys !!

flying kiss

tbh im glad they released this before the title track and album bc oh my god i would've taken no interest in it in comparison to the other songs. just like the title track rn i feel like the b-sides definitely are better than the tt track.

chat tell me it doesn't sound like blank space by taylor swift

TELL ME IT DOESNT

okay but for vibe wise i think the intro definitely makes me feel like im in that zen place in zootopia for some reason yknow with the yak and his meditation thing. anyways that sounds oddly specific but idk its very mystical meditation core idk

i hate fruits

THIS SONG IS SO FUNNY

but also very nct dream coded i love my 7dream <33

i have no poking thoughts i think its cute

no escape

my wife.

you can't have her she's mine

backbone pussy holding this album together

best of me

this sounds like the type of song that plays in the background when you're locked in on one of those cool math game puzzle games thats like minecraft music ominous but not there yet so like ur not freaked out but it's still getting on your nerves kinda slightly but you know you gotta lock in. im locked in.

YOU

oh now this is minecraft music

BUT THE JAZZ BREAK HELLO CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE JAZZ BREAK??

I LOVE IT WHEN WE USE JAZZ IN KPOP

heavenly

heaven by txt's twin sister

its very nct dream coded i love them

night poem

in my opinion one of the weaker songs on this album but it's cute <33

like no song on this album is bad obviously, i don't hate any of them, this one just kinda falls flat in comparison to them.

off the wall

i LOVE THE 70S DISCO FUNK VIBE

treasure !!! that is what you are <33

it's not really nct dream's vibe in my opinion but i could get behind this to be honest it's really cute <33

here's my top 3 ranking

no escape

flying kiss

YOU