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#obviously i dont know his thoughts or his perspective. i dont wanna put words in his mouth
banghwa · 1 year
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i wonder how you feel about namjoon? i find what he's doing in chapter 2 really interesting. he literally said 'fuck the trendsetter'. 🥲 wildflower might be the best song he's ever written (lbr if taylor swift released a song with such lyricism, we'd be hearing about it for years lol), and once again it has this theme of the rift between ideals and reality, of trying to hold onto yourself and your values when the world pushes back and breaks your heart. indigo was about choosing to be a human being, to create art beyond trends and limitations, to stand tall as an artist on his own terms. he chose to perform in like. a 200 max capacity venue bc that was his dream as a teenager before everything happened. he befriended the entire k-indie scene lol. it's amazing how he's overcoming the pressure of bts' crown. he's doing exactly what fans demand of their faves (authenticity & artistry), but then indigo is probably one of the least supported/commercially successful solo releases. 👀
he's also the only member i think that's kind of ambivalent about the future of bts. i think he's distanced himself from the Brand as much as possible for his own health, but i find his uncertainty about what bts are gonna do and what they will say in the future intriguing. he was definitely right in last year's festa when he said that bts have ran out of messages to give to the world.
anyway sorry for ranting sm about namjoon in your askbox, i just think it's amazing how much he's giving his all to be a true Artist in the most corporate era of kpop ever lol.
ohhhh I won’t let myself get too sappy about it but. i really do love namjoon so much. i dont think I can put it into words. hes such a brilliant lyricist. you’re so right if it was a white woman who wrote wildflower people would be screaming about it being the sadgirl song of the decade. he’s also just. really inspirational to me, i look up to him in a lot of ways. when i was first getting into bts, he was my first “official” bias i guess until hope world came out and changed everything lol. but he continues to have such an important space in my heart. i love the way he thinks, i love how genuine he tries to be, how he knows he’s very flawed and doesnt see it necessarily as a compromising thing. he means a lot to me :’)
ithink you’re right too like. things are probably very complicated for him around bts “the brand”, rm the artist, kim namjoon the person, which are things he explores to beautifully in indigo. i think he’s probably the member whose ties to bts as a “brand” are probably the tightest and not as easily severed bcs he’s the leader and the face and all of his mistakes now represents the group. and i think you’re so right, while indigo seemed to do well (then again, im so out of the loop that i dont rly know what doing well or not means in kpop anymore lol) or at least be very well received, it definitely is not being recognized for what it is by armys themselves…..its weird i feel like namjoon is sorta in this paradox where he can’t separate himself from bts but he is also too different from/too real and flawed for the bts brand that ppl dont rly pay attention to him…..but he’s also really respected by other people who are just really and genuinely into music. idk where im going with this all this to say i love him a lot i genuinely plan to get everythingoes tattooed and if he ever releases his own book I would be first in line to buy it
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bbunivxrse · 8 months
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AHHH I LOVED UR "HATED HIM" GOJO FIC ITS SO CUTEE🥹 I WANNA SEE A PART 2!! im curious will the reader date gojo or js continue to hate him lmao
❥ IMPROVEMENTS - SATORU GOJO
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pairing: gojo x f!reader contents: pt 2 to this fic although you dont need to read it to understand this one. no warnings js fluff here !!! word count: 2.5k on the DOT a/n: HII NONNIE IM SSOOO HAPPY U LIKED IT!!! im sorry this took so long ive been busy with work and exams coming up :( hopefully i can post more often soon :((( ANYWAZ ENJOY
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so maybe you don’t hate Satoru Gojo. not anymore. since that moment you shared with him, you thought everything would go back to normal, and for the most part it did. well, you think it did, but everyone else saw the changes clear as day.
as time passed, from an outside perspective it seemed like the two of you suddenly had a… “stable” friendship. both “stable” and “friendship” being used very very loosely. although gojo prefered “happy relationship” and “loving marriage”. the yelling matches (you yelling at gojo while he just sits there and smiles like an idiot) that used to occur multiple times daily went down to only once a day, if at all. you didn’t seem to shoo him away as much or rant about how annoying he is. it was almost like you were warming up to him.
if nobody knew what had happened between the two of you it would’ve seemed like a random switch that went off one day, except everyone did know what happened, cuz gojo’s big mouth went and told everyone the next fucking day. to escape being made fun of to no end, you told everyone you only kissed him so he’d shut up and there was no feelings beyond that, which was half true. the other half of you knew that being all bandaged up by him after a mission gone wrong, sitting in his bed while he tells you how much he cares about you, a man who’d usually piss you off and act all goofy. to see him like that was like a breath of really fresh air and kinda changed the way you saw him.
obviously he was still super annoying and pissed you off, but he seemed to finally get the memo and tuned it down so that it was actually manageable. his laugh was suddenly cuter, his face was less punchable and his flirting was almost starting to fluster you. almost. he still made those stupid comments and monologues for waaayy too long but he got a lot sweeter in his teasing and actions. he somehow found out what your favourite foods and places to eat were and bought you food after long days of school, training sessions and missions and took you to places around tokyo on outings “dates”. your friendship with him was finally tolerable. 
waking up on a sunday morning, you hear the sound of buzzing from your phone on your bedside table. 
incoming call from gojo.
its way too early for him to be bothering you already, but you know very well that if you don’t pick up now he’ll keep calling til you do. you silently curse shoko for giving him your number when he asked her, since he already knew you’d say no to him. “what do you want?” you answer his call, putting the phone to your ear as you sit up in bed. “good morning to you too i guess..” you can hear the pouting in his voice. “what are you up to today??” 
“i’m training a bit with nanami and haibara later.” you check the clock on the table, mentally starting to plan when you’re gonna start getting ready to meet the two of them. “nanami!? why would you train with him!? he doesn’t know anything.” he seemed to completely tune out the second name you mentioned
“he knows more than you.” you laugh at his dramatic gasp over the phone, picturing the look on his face. “whateverrrr. you should train with me instead!” 
“no.” 
“what!? why not?? im soooo much better than him!” you can hear the passion in his voice and you begin to wonder how he can have so much energy so early in the morning, especially on a sunday. “please humble yourself, and i already told nanami i’d train with them anyway.” you glance back at your clock, continuing to consider how long you can stay in bed for. “fiiineee. we can train together next time. what’re you doing after that?” 
“after training i’m gonna…” your voice trails off as you think back to earlier this week, trying to recall if you had made any other plans with anyone for today. “not doing anything later. i’m probably gonna go back to my dorm.” you confessed, forgetting exactly who you were on the phone with. “oh so you’re free later? perfect! we sh-“ 
“no, i’m not free. i’m going back to my dorm gojo. and i’m staying there. all day.” you make sure to give him the details of your plan to stay in your room so he doesn’t have any wiggle room to plan anything. “hmmmm.. okay! ill just come over then!” 
“what?? n-“ 
“cyalaterbye!!” you hear the phone beep as he hangs up, now looking down at your lock screen. 'god he’s sooo annoying.'
getting out of bed after looking down at your clock again, you decide you have more than enough time to watch a bit of the show you’ve been catching up on. maybe about two and a half episodes?
checking the time halfway through the first episode, you decide you’re not in the mood to continue watching and you’ll watch a movie instead after training. you get up and begin getting ready for the scheduled training session you had, lightly fixing up your hair so you looked presentable and throwing on your uniform before heading out. 
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training with nanami and haibara went well, and you were all surprised gojo didn’t show up to bother you but you figured he was busy with his own thing. coming home you immediately threw your uniform onto the floor and went to take a shower, feeling all gross and sweaty. ‘ill pick it up later.’
you turn the water on, allowing it to get hot before stepping into the shower. you decided to use your favourite body wash that smelled like heaven in a bottle, the scent filling up the entire bathroom and making all the air around you smell like your favourite fragrance. you linger in the shower for a bit, the hot water feeling therapeutic against your skin. once you were done you headed back to your room, throwing on some comfy flared sweats and a random tank top from your wardrobe. looking in the mirror, the outfit was surprisingly cute, and really comfortable.
in a good mood from the nice shower and already feeling pretty after only putting on some  random clothes, you decided to have fun and do some light makeup. maybe you’ll run a few errands later? you were a bit low on snacks at the moment.
finishing off your makeup with a pretty lipgloss, you look in your little snack drawer to see what you had left. some gum, a few candies and one bag of your favourite chips you’re planning to save. maybe it was time to restock. 
you throw on a light jacket and grab your bag, gathering your essentials and getting your shoes on before leaving your dorm. you decided to go to the little convenience store only a few minutes away since they had all the snacks you like. 
within a few minutes you made it to the store, picking out a bunch of snacks and candies you liked. as you were looking at the new flavours of candy they had, the bell by the door jingled as someone entered the store. “y/n!!” you heard a familiar voice behind you. “why are you here?? you said you were staying in your dorm. all day.” gojo mocks the tone you used with him on the phone earlier. “i changed my mind. why are you here?” 
“satoru wanted to get some candy on the way home.” suguru appears from behind him, giving you a smile and a polite wave. “hmm.. they have a nice selection here, what do you think i should get?” gojo puts a hand to his chin as he looks through all the candies. “the sour green apple candy from this brand is really good. and the lemon flavour too, they’re my favourites.” you say as you point to the candies. “then they’re my favourites too,” gojo immediately picks up two of each flavour you recommended, before picking a few other candies he knows you like.
“you do not need all that sweetness. think about your health.” suguru grimaces at the amount of sweets in gojos hands. “i’m not gonna eat all of it! do you really think that low of me? i’m sharing with my girlfriend.” he plops his purchase on the counter for the cashier, smiling down at you “and i’m still coming over,” 
“i didnt agree to that, nor do you have girlfriend.” 
“don’t care,” gojo shrugs as he takes his bag full of your favourite candies, cheerfully skipping out the door followed by you and suguru. the two of you followed as he happily pranced down the street and back to school. 
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“you’re really not gonna leave me alone?” 
“nope!” you and gojo stand outside your dorm as he waits for you to unlock the door. you sign at his persistence, grabbing your keys from your bag and opening the door. he had never actually been in your dorm before so this was like a new world to him. “kinda messy in here. you needa clean up a bit y/n” gojo steps inside as if it were his own house, yet looks around at your space as if he were at a museum. “do you ever shut up? and take your shoes off. don’t step on my nice carpet. if it gets dirty i will kill you.” 
“yes ma’am.” he obeyed as if his life was truly in danger. you take off your own shoes, putting your jacket and bag away before plopping yourself on your bed. you watch gojo pace around your small dorm room, picking up random objects to inspect before humming and placing it back down. you know he should be monitored carefully while in proximity of your stuff but you really can’t be bothered to babysit right now and just allow him to stimulate himself.
after a few minutes of replying to missed texts from a few of your friends, you hear gojo sigh, dropping the bag of candy on the floor and placing his glasses alongside the makeup you put on earlier. you realize he hadn’t said a word for those few minutes. “you’re being too silent, what are yo-“ gojo fully drops himself on top of you, his hard head hitting your chest so hard you swear you heard a rib crack. “holy fucking shit you fatass, get off me!! you’re heavy.” you try to push him off you but he doesn’t budge. “but ‘m tired baby,” he whines as he made himself more comfortable on top of you. “i will kill you.” 
“m‘kay..” gojo yawns, wrapping his arms around you. now you’re stuck, great. you honestly didn’t think the word ‘tired’ existed in gojo’s vocabulary since he somehow always has energy. you had never seen him sleep before, which sounds somewhat normal until you remember the overnight trips and missions you and your classmates went on frequently, where gojo never slept. or he never let anyone see him sleep. you didn’t really realize it until now, with him on your chest already seeming close to knocking out.
as much as it annoyed you that you couldn’t get up to eat the candy he’d bought for the two of you to have, you figured if you woke him up he’d just bother the shit out of you until you let him sleep again, and you honestly realize how cute he is when he’s quiet. sighing in defeat, you open up your laptop that you had left on your bed earlier and throw on a movie you had already wanted to watch today. “hm..? what’s that?” gojo mumbles as he’s half asleep. “the movie suguru recommended me the other day. the one about the samurai?” 
“ohhh.” gojo turns his head away from the screen to rest on the other side of his head “that one sucks. and the main character dies.” 
“ugh, spoiler warning next time??” you flick the top of his head as he laughs. you scroll through the selection of movies on the site, humming occasionally while adding interesting movies to your watch later list. eventually you find a random movie that you had never heard of but it looks interesting enough and decide to watch it. the large boy laying on top of you turns his head back to the screen once he hears the new film playing. this time he doesn’t say anything, but you notice his eyes struggling to stay open as he yawns literally every waking minute.
“gojo why don’t you go back to your dorm to sleep? you can barely keep your eyes open,” you giggle at him as he tries to look offended but clearly doesn’t have to energy to. “mn-mm. ‘m watchin… with my wife.” he yawns mid sentence. “well i’m not your wife, soooo…” 
“you are my wife… we’re married… you remember.”  you know he normally only says stuff like that to get under your skin, but sometimes it sounds like he truly believes it, which is a bit scary. you can’t even pay attention to the movie with how hard you’re contemplating to get him off you and in his own bed, but it seems there’s truly no solution. he’s a freakishly tall and muscular man with 100% of his body weight on top of you, so you obviously can’t push him off. and he clearly wont willingly get up, and you know you can’t convince him to get up, so you begin to accept that you might actually be stuck here. 
“ill let you stay if you grab the bag of candy for me,” gojo seems to be too tired to remember that there’s nothing you can do to force him to leave and he easily could’ve refused. he lazily throws the bag onto the bed beside you before plopping himself right back where he was before. “now lemme stay.” you roll your eyes instinctively, grabbing the bag and picking out one of the candies gojo had picked for you. he lets out one last yawn before allowing his tiredness to consume him.
as you open up the sweets and start eating, you look down at gojo. you never really took a moment to actually realize how pretty he really is, and especially how cute he looks while he sleeps. as creepy as that sounds. you think it’s because his mouth is finally shut and he’s not saying the most annoying sentences he can come up with, or constantly blabbering to you about stuff you never asked him about and have no interest in. you honestly didn’t mind this heavy man peacefully asleep on top of you as you eat candy and watch a movie. it was quite nice, actually. maybe you’ll start to allow gojo to do things like this more often. 
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i really had no idea how to end this :SOB: but it turned out well i hope. pls send requests btw i have ZERO idea what to write neext
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fruitybashir · 3 months
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hey hello 👋🏻 i'm sorry im very shy but i'm a huge fan of the holidate and dopamin (closer) was so fantastic and super hot and i was blushing the entire way through, i've reread it maybe five times by now, i'm sorry if that's weird 🫣
if you don't mind me asking, i'm curious about something? in the holidate and in dopamin, there's obvious hints at some of their kinks or preferences in bed (hair pulling, praise....) and i'm just wondering......can you say more about what kinks they're both into? what you envisioned for them? is there more we don't know about yet? i'm a bit embarassed to ask but i'm so curious
either way, i'm a big fan and i can't wait to see what you post next and have a nice day/night bye bye 💌💕
omg hiiiii <3333 dont be embarassed omg i loveeee when people tell me they reread my stuff, thats how i know it actually was good!!! 🫶🏻💖💖💖
and sure i can talk about it! its nothing super exciting tbh but i do have a certain set of kinks/preferences/likes whatever you wanna call it for each of them, im gonna put it under the cut as per usual in case it gets long.
edit yeah this is getting super long. sorry. dont ask me to yap, i will not stop.
starting with kris:
the very obvious: hair pulling. i think that was made pretty clear lmao. in a non-sexual context he looooves having his hair played with, someone just running their fingers through his hair, lightly scratching at the scalp, playing with a strand or two, anything at all gives him very pleasant tingles and practically makes him putty in your hands. find that spot behind his ear like bojan did and his brain shuts off, you have now successfully tamed your kris, congrats.
in a sexual context that translates to him loving having his hair pulled, its a combination of him liking having his hair played with + liking a certain level of pain. and the combo of that really gets him off. obviously.
pain for kris is like. hes into some level of pain, like the hair pulling and he also likes biting sometimes. in dopamin thats bojan biting his butt, but i imagine sometimes when bojan takes his time exploring kris' body, he takes a bite here or there, kris' neck, the sides of his stomach, the inside of his thighs .. stuff like that and kris is also really into it then.
hes not into any bigger levels of pain other than that like he wouldnt like stuff like spanking etc although thats a combination of not liking that type of pain and not liking being in a submissive position
next point: he doesnt like being submissive. its both just a preference thing plus not liking loss of control. he loves being the one to order the other part around and be the one to kiiind of have the upper hand. im saying that a bit vaguely bc he also isnt really a dom, he wouldnt like a very strong dominant role, he just likes calling the shots and being in control of the situation. idk how to put it. ill come back to this later
hes freshly discovering that hes into feminization, as you can probably tell from that last upload lmao, and he likes it both in a non-sexual and in a sexual context. he likes feminine words of affection, being called pretty, likes thinking about how in certain perspectives and moments people might mistake him for a girl, and he could have shopped online for lingerie thats specifically made for men, and buy panties that actually had some space in the front, but he deliberately chose not to do that, he wanted it to be girls underwear. that was important.
holidate kris is definitely not fully cis, but also not really trans either i think, idk what to call it but yeah. he might be a little trans, hes having some thoughts and feelings and maybe ill let him explore that properly one day but basically he doesnt really know what to make of it yet or how to categorise it, but he knows he likes himself exactly the way he is and doesnt want to change anything. he also likes getting called girl-ish things and thinking about how people might mistake him for a girl sometimes. idk
other preferences uhhh he really likes sucking dick lmao, like he genuinely enjoys going down on bojan and it gets him all worked up as well. he just figured out he loves getting eaten out. he doesnt like bottoming and he also doesnt like getting fingered all that much. and the thing with that is that he likes having things in his ass, but he doesnt like the uhhh motion of it? having a dick in his ass is fine, having that dick thrust into him is a big no no. the lucky thing with bojan is that he has really short fingers so when hes fingering kris, hes focussing on kris's prostate and doesnt move around all that much so that is still something kris enjoys. on occasion. he also generally doesnt like coming more than once, bc he tends to be very sensitive after his first orgasm and the second one is often very overhelming and too much
moving on to bojan:
also fairly obvious: likes being manhandled, likes being told what to do, big on getting praised. he also loves servicing and making kris feel good, it genuinely gets him off when he can just worship kris a little.
bojan loves both receiving and giving oral but he really loves bottoming and coming on kris' fingers. he loves getting a little overstimulated like getting teased for a long time before getting any proper attention so by the time kris finally goes down on him or fucks him, bojan is already shaking with it and desperate. or in the way like in dopamin, literally not being able to fully calm down in between orgasms and still being super sensitive from the first one.
i think the praise thing is pretty self explanatory, he really loves getting praised for doing a good job when he follows kris' instructions, loves being called a good boy, loves when kris keeps telling him how good hes being in general, its a major thing for him
he loves getting fucked classic missionary or riding kris, they tried doggy once but he didnt like not being able to see kris and touch him. he loves watching kris' face when he comes and also before that, he just loves fucking face to face.
also he would love for kris to make real on his promise of fucking his tits, neither of them knows how that would work but bojan is heavily into the idea of it
as for both of them:
ive said it in dms earlier but basically like. theyre both still kind of vanilla with their kinks? like there is a dom/sub dynamic there but its a very mild one kinda.
like how in dopamin kris tells bojan hes gonna make him come on his fingers and then give him no break after, but later he still does give him a break and checks with bojan if hes still okay with it, if its too much etc. or how he keeps telling bojan to use his words, but always forgives him when bojan cant use his words or is too embarrassed to say what kris wants him to say. like theres never any real consequences.
and thats the thing with them: they are so in tune with each other and have a level of trust for each other that they never had with previous partners. bojan likes being bossed around but he wouldnt like if anyone was actually mean to him, hes not into humiliation or being actually punished for something.
kris knows when he says it that its all empty threats and he would never give bojan any real consequences, and bojan knows this as well, but he would also never intentionally misbehave bc he likes following commands.
they work so well together like that bc theyre both fully aware of what they and the other wants out of it, they know the others wishes and boundaries and limits etc, like there is just a level of trust and understanding between them like no other.
also theyre super in love. did i mention that. does that come across. thats not a kink thing but theyre just super mega in love and thats so important to me.
uhhhh i think thats basically all there is to them kink wise ✌🏼 sorry this got so long, oopsie
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not to come across as a performative leftist like you can't make these jokes aaahhh. obviously don't make jokes that actually hurt people but i think from a white cis male inherently those jokes come across as hurtful even when not intended to be. and while I think there could be a case for looking at the bigger picture also i think if you are hurting people you should be critisized and yes allow mistakes but when you are super privlaged and saying that while having made mistakes it comes across as saying you should ignore those doing harm. like a lot of the jokes are arguably not wholly harmful like i dont think he would have genuinely had anything to follow on from trans people in sport but when you are not trans (i am) it comes across as a bit tone deaf especially considering the state of politics in the US currently.
and like critisize the right and question the left but when you are privilaged and you do it by making racist jokes and nazi solutes it comes off across as genuinely hateful and like i know ur not and ur fans know but also do they? because you are a guy on stage who we don't know and when you don't adress anything (other than saying its a performance and a bit) or sit down with anyone other than white men to talk about it it comes off as hateful. and it's really hard to come across as critical when it seems genuine and you have to do the 'well but actually he is a good guy but he is pretending' like look at jshlatt because that's a 'bit' but its fucking harmful.
though i do think the idea that music and concerts should be more widely seen as an art space is interesting because if it was someone in a movie/theatre production doing a nazi solute you wouldnt hate the actor. but i think when thats not assumed because its a gig and you say risque shit and you dont necessary put the work in (like obviously he has morals and has been vocal about misogyny and racism previously but thats not always super apparent especially when they don't know you. and like when he attempted to coerce amelia into a kiss or he posts about hot women which comes across as weird and objectifying that is what people know him for to an extent (or at least my irls) its hard to explain to people that he's not like that.
as an aside I also think its interesting that he's gone super masculine 'I'm a man I'm a male I'm a he' after so many years of being disintrested and saying that he isn't interested in masculinty. like saying that being a leftist man is confusing despite saying previously in response to that sentiment 'just existing is confusing' so like is it all just a bit? we will never know and its both very cool and incredibly frustrating and i genuinely struggle to reach a solid conclusion and put it into definitive words
i think overall his performance is based on trust that he is not a bad person and while i believe that its difficult if you don't know him personally and as a white cis man he has privilege so he doesn't have to worry about the repercussions of his jokes
(sorry if this is all a bit much i have a lot of thoughts) - 🐸
Thanks for offering this alternative perspective! I really appreciate it! I am, myself a woman of color, but I’m a cis woman, so I can’t speak for the experiences of trans people and how they are affected, nor would I ever want to invalidate your feelings. If that’s how you feel, and you genuinely find fault in the things that he does, I think you are well within your right! And you can be a fan of someone AND also criticize them. Like I hate that a second of the fandom is like “if you’re saying this it means you don’t get the band” or whatever. That’s not my intention here at alllll.
The way I see it is this, and please please please feel free to disagree with me! I think disagreement is healthy and helpful when done respectfully and I don’t mind it at all.
1. Matty has a lot of blind spots. Because of the very things you mentioned. I don’t wanna get us off track by bringing up a separate issue, so I won’t get into all the debating, but, like, his stance on “nepo babies” is kinda faulty and a little dumb, lmao. But I think he thinks the way that he does because he grew up around art and artists so those things come intuitively to him. Also, just bring a white, male, wealthy person makes him inherently privileged so his stance may not always be representative of most peoples. So, I agree with you that, sometimes, the jokes, well intentioned though they may be, come off as tone deaf. Like, let’s take the Japanese accent nonsense as an example. Matty isn’t racist. We all know this. DH represents a lot of poc and artists of Asian descent and we know he supports them fully, etc. his music actively tries to point out the ways that society marginalizes black and queer people. We know all that. But, my thing is, would he make that joke in front of a Japanese person? As a white guy, would he feel comfortable in doing that accent and have it come off as “just a joke” if the person sitting across from him were Japanese? My guess is he’d say no. Well, then, that’s a good measure for a joke that shouldn’t be told. If you can’t say it to the people it’s about, then maybe stfu. Like, he just straight up fucked up there. There’s no beating around the bush. He shouldn’t say it was art or whatever. He should just say he’s sorry.
2. I think your point about trust, and about people who don’t know his heart reacting differently, is EXACTLY why Matty does what he does. Like, progressive politics and standing up for the rights of marginalized communities should not cancel human decency. We shouldn’t be in a position, as a society, where we have to even say “no, no, listen, guys! He’s a good human! He actually wrote songs like Jesus Christ 2005, and Love It If We Made It! He’s a good guy!” Like why is that even necessary. Why is not the default of society to say “I don’t hate you as a person and want to cancel you, but, look man: what you did/said is fucked up. And here’s why.” Like, his thing is based on trust because trust SHOULD BE the norm. (Obviously, don’t extend that trust to the Epsteins and Weinsteins and Cosbys of the world, they don’t deserve it). Like the norm should be saying “no. This is bad. Here’s why. Do better.” Without all the moral outrage and performant I’ve nonsense that we do around it, you know? I think that’s what frustrates Matty and that’s why he does that stuff. It’s also unfortunately why it doesn’t work. Cuz people who don’t know him ARENT trusting him. So it’s not gonna work. Perhaps the goal here is to point out the problem within our society. But I’m not sure that the people who hate him are seeing it that way. They don’t realize that they need to be more compassionate. They’re patting themselves on the back for “canceling” him. So…is his goal accomplished? Not really. Sadly.
3. I think it’s inherent in his job as an artist to criticize culture, to ask uncomfortable questions, and to observe and react to his surroundings. I don’t think he’s suddenly saying “I’m a man, I’m a make, I’m a he.” I think, as he has said in the past, he grew up privileged enough to be in a position where he didn’t HAVE to question his sexuality. Cuz he was surrounded by artists, queer people, liberal values, etc where progressive ideals were the norm. That’s not the experience of all of us. I think he took the fluidity of gender and masculinity for granted when he was younger cuz he’s been lucky enough not to have to assert his identity day in and day out cuz nobody is writing legislation to criminalize him. However, as he has talked about before, seeing his own gender react the way that it has post- Me Too, and seeing how the right has capitalized on men’s issues, and seeing how western societies here in the US and elsewhere have been rapidly regressing, he feels more aware of his position, wants to express the frustrations, and wants to think about the issue alongside the culture. I think that’s a function of maturing and growing up, and also just being alive in 2023. If you’re a thoughtful person who is concerned about the future of mankind, then you can’t really not get socio-political. How could he remain silent when all this shit is happening? The 1975 has never been the type to be silent. So, I don’t really think this is a recent thing nor do I think he’s asserting his own masculinity. I think he, like all of us, is going “what is the role of the leftist male in todays world? Especially if you reject performatism , fake wokeness, etc.” that’s a valid question that he has every right to ask!
Does that make sense? Just how I’m viewing it. But like I said, please do feel free to disagree with me!
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cringesideblog · 4 years
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here’s my dnf playlist and a complete song by song track-list and why I put them on it.
heatwaves- on here for very obvious reasons. i don’t think I need to explain. but here are some lyrics anyway. “Sometimes all I think about is you, late nights in the middle of June.”
Jenny- again this is kinda obvious. “I wanna ruin our friendship, we should be lovers instead, I don’t know how to say this, cuz you’re really my dearest friend.”
TALK ME DOWN- this one just has the best friends pining for eachother vibe. “I wanna sleep next to you, and that’s all I wanna do right now.”
Dark paradise- kinda has dream smp vibes. but also you could argue heatwaves vibes. “Everytime I close my eyes, it’s like a dark paradise.” “There’s no relief, I see you in my sleep.” “There’s no release, I feel you in my dreams.”
Sweater weather- yeah you know why. you absolutely know why. “All I am is a man, I want the world in my hands. I hate the beach but I stand, in California with my toes in the sand.”
Drop the Guillotine- idk man just vibey. give it a listen you’ll get it. it’ll click. “You sure know how to drop that guillotine on me, though you would never wanna see me bleed.”
Can I call you tonight?- thats on their only for of communication being through the phone huh. (major heatwaves vibe) “powers out and I can’t turn the fan on, so can I call you tonight? trying make up my mind, just how I feel.”-“I hear your voice on the phone, now I’m no longer alone.”
Lemon boy- oh my god this song. geogre do be seeing dream as his lemon boy. “I helped him plant his seeds and we’d mow the lawn in bad weather.”
Yellow- DREAM IS LITERALLY GEORGES YELLOW SHUT UP RIGHT NOW. “Look at the stars, look how they shine for you.” “For you I’d bleed myself dry.”
Like you do- first of all I love this song, second, this has dream being a little too attached vibes. The whole song is just them. “Lost in the blue, they don’t love me like you do, those chills that I knew they were nothing without you, and everyone else they don’t matter now. You’re the one I can’t lose, no one loves me like you do.” “Since I met you, all the gloomy days just seem to shine a little more brightly.”
I saw you in a dream- mega heatwaves vibe. “When I’m awake I can’t switch off,” “I saw you in a dream, you came to me. You were the sweetest apparition, such a pretty vision.”
Maybe you’re the reason- did someone say pining best friend who doesn’t know that they’re in love ? this song. this song right here. “I keep looking for something, even though I know that it’s not there. Maybe you’re the reason. And anytime I try to figure it out, you’re the only thing I can think about.”
The king- DREAM SMP VIBE. “You like me, well obviously, so why you tryna leave when you know that I’m the king?” “Other lovers give you no luck, cuz I’m the only one who’s made you fall in love.” “Playing with your heart cuz you gave me the throne.”
Sweet- an adorable song truly that actually fits them so well. “Watching the, video that you sent me- you know that I’m obsessed with your body, but it’s the way you smile that does it for me.” “It’s so sweet, knowing that you love me.”
Apocalypse- um okay here me out, apocalypse au?? yeah i know it’s cute as shit you’re welcome. “Your lips my lips, apocalypse.” “When you’re all alone, I will reach for you, when you’re feeling low, I will be there too.”
Fear of the Water- don’t come for me this ones kinda sad, beautiful song though. “If this was meant for me why does it hurt so much, and if you’re not made for me why did we fall in love?”
Dreaming of you- two words, heat. waves. but also yeah good song for them in general. “Want you all the time, and now I’m dreaming, dreaming, dreaming, dreaming of you.”
Wires- uhhhhh dream smp vibe, dream villain arc n all . “If he said help me kill the president, id say he needs medicine.” “He said that I should take it in, listen to every word he’s speaking.”
Midnight love- it’s girl in love so, you already know how it issss. “I know I don’t want to, be the one that you run to, when you’ve got nowhere else to go, when you need some love.” “I always give in to give you it all.” “I can’t be your midnight love, when your silver is my gold.”
The beach- SUCH A HEATWAVES SONG JUST LISTEN. “I feel it burning me, I feel it burning you.” “I think I can see the beach, I know what’s underneath. I need you here with me,”
Cherry flavored- the neighborhood just.. they have a dnf vibe. “Cherry flavored conversations with you got me hanging on. Down to earth from all the waiting. Take me somewhere beyond.”
Pretty boy- geogre is a pretty boy. point blank period. “Even if my heart stops beating, you’re the only thing I need with me.” “Pretty boy, you did this with me boy.” “As long as I got you, I’m gonna be alright.”
Bad idea- girl in reddd... but like imagine them casually hooking up and not knowing their in love tho. also I feel like they would definitely think that their relationship is a “bad idea” bc they’re stupid. “It was a bad idea, to think I could stop, was such a bad idea, I can’t get enough.” “Darling your so pretty it hurts.”
Line without a hook- ICONIC!! dream definitely does not think that he deserves george. “You can hold my hand if no ones home.” “All my emotions feel like explosions when you are around” “Oh baby I am a wreck without you.” “She’s a, she’s a lady, and I am just a boy. She’s a, she’s a lady, and I am just a line without a hook.”
Say you hate me- mega dream smp vibes as of recently. with the whole removing geogre as king. “I guess that your friends where right, from the start when they thought that I was a bad guy.” “Can you just say that you hate me? Or that you will never love me?” “Never meant to make you leave, never meant to make you cry.”
Cherry bomb- reminds me of how dream cheated on fundy with geogre. “I’m too close to crushing, and I’m too close for comfort I’m rushing.” “I ask how shes so mellow, she tells me her shades are in yellow.”
This side of paradise- I mean, like, kinda heatwaves vibes, but also just them. “Ask me why my hearts inside my throat. I’ve never been in love I’ve been alone.” “If you’re lonley come be lonley with me.”
Linger- geogre literally has that boy wrapped around his finger and I can’t not see it in this song. But when you look into it HELLA dream smp vibes, lyrics can be switched for either perspective here. “You know I’m such a fool for you, you got me wrapped around your finger.” “I thought the world of you, I thought nothing could go wrong, but I was wrong,”
august- i don’t know what is but this song is for them. it just is. “To live for the hope of it all. Cancel plans just in case you'd call” “So much for summer love, and saying “Us” Cause you weren't mine to lose”
I was an island- i just love the idea of them being hardasses and not thinking they need anyone until the other comes into their life and rocks their world. kinda dream smp vibes “I was a fighter, and I was so brave, but I lowered my sword when you held me and swore you’d stay.” “I was a wolf, dear, apart from the pac But you answered my cries in the dead of the night and told me that you had my back,”
Golden- k this one feeds into the “you’re literally the sun in my sky I’m not worthy” feel “I know you were way too bright for me I'm hopeless, broken” “I know that you're scared Because hearts get broken” “I can feel you take control Of who I am and all I've ever known Loving you's the antidote”
Strong- ummm okay but the “we’re better together” dynamic is them “I’m sorry if I say I need ya, but I don’t care I’m not scared of love.” “when I’m not with you I’m weaker is that so wrong? Is it so wrong, that you make me strong.”
Fly out west- the whole, I need to see you, you’re all I think about, stuff gets me. also heatwaves vibe. “Well tell me do you know? You’re all I dream about. Take it from me I’m too dumb to recognize your doubt.”
Cruel summer- them and summer, you dig? “I don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you.” “I love you and that the worst thing you ever heard?”
Nothings gonna hurt you baby- I put this one on here because of how protective dream is over geogre “Nothing’s gonna hurt you baby, as long as your with me you’ll be just fine. Nothings gonna hurt you baby, nothings gonna take you from my side.”
Cardigan- young love, the kind of lover that makes you feel like you are the most important thing in the world to them “when you are young they assume you know nothing, but I knew you-“ “and when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone’s bed, you put me on and said I was your favorite.”
Cry baby- them being in that weird stage where they recognize that it might be more than just senseless flirting and they might have feelings but also being paranoid that they’re the only one with feelings uh- “I can taste it my hearts breaking, please don’t say it. That you know, when you know.” “I know I’ll fall in love with you baby, but that’s not what I wanna do baby.”
Speak now- literally the fundy dream wedding. i rest my case. “I hear the preacher say speak no or forever hold your peace.” “Dont say yes runaway now.”
I love you so- this song is cute on the surface but kinda sad once you look into it. it’s kinda about a codependent love that isn’t going well. “I gotta get away and let you go I gotta get over, but I love you so.” “You were cool and I’m a fool so please let me go.”
In conclusion I’d really appreciate if you could check it out :) <3
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dreamrecorder · 4 years
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Genshin Characters as the Major Arcana
Gentle Reminder: I just based this on a surface knowledge I have about the Arcana from my fave game Persona 3^^ As such, I paired the characters to the arcana with the help of my sis bcos there were some characters that I don’t know much about~ And again this is just fanart :))
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That was long ksksks Imma add a commentary under if you feel like reading my thoughts hahaha
Soooooo
Fool: Obviously i was gonna pick the twins since they’re the main characters ksks but other than that- it has to be them because they’re special in a way like they can wield different elements. Zero is an empty number but with vast possibilities.
Magician: It was supposed to be Albedo at first- but persona says magician speaks about immaturity and power. And those two words just fit Klee so much in a good way!! Although-- Klee was supposed to be fortune too but i stuck with magician
Priestess: A woman of wisdom- Ganyu. that’s it haha I was supposed to add Ayaka too but she doesn’t have an official art yet :(
Empress: Lmao do i have to explain why i chose Jean and Ningguang
Emperor: No questions asked- Zhongli is an emperor bow. I didn’t have second thought choosing him lmao
Hierophant: So this one here symbolizes education, authority, and something about divinity and understanding the world. I chose Albedo because as an alchemist he took it upon himself to uncover the truth of the world~
Lovers: EHE no explanation needed~
Chariot: We’ve got victory, self-confidence and command!! I dont think i should explain this that much bcos Diluc is pretty straight forward haha My sister said I should Amber here too and I was about to but didn’t put her here Chariot also means war and Amber is not a war person for me
Justice: I chose xinqiu bcos of his display of justice in his story quest :))
Hermit: This means self-honesty and forging your own path- pretty fitting for Mona and Fischl right? As for Beidou, “why is a pirate a hermit?” Yeah that’s what i asked too when my sister said Beidou should be a Hermit. It makes sense tho- Beidou is a pirate and pirates stay on the sea and far from land and land is where civilization is
Fortune: Qiqi is basically the Preserves of Fortune ^^ As for Bennet, why is our unlucky boi in Fortune? Im soft for Bennet okay I just want to give him more luck and fortune on his way T-T Bennet was supposed to be hanged man but no- My sis said hanged man bcos everything Bennet does might result to more injury and eventually death. So--- NO
Strength: Pretty self-explanatory ^^
Hanged Man: Originally was supposed to be Hu Tao but again- no official art sigh So I chose Chongyun (was supposed to be fortune) This arcana means to take the time necessary for self-reflection and this fits our exorcist bcos he really reflected on how exterminate spirits without the use of his positivity- he wanted to stand by the traditional ways of an exorcist bcos ppl doubt his status as exorcist- yes, reflection for self-improvement
Death: Mr-Bane-of-all-Evil obviously (im so sorry xiao) (I was thinking adding qiqi but thats too cruel for my heart)
Temperance: Balance, synthesis, and harmony- all those for our best girl Sucrose
Devil: Childe- because he was mean in the golden house. Yes he seems to be a good guy but his eyes speak otherwise and i kudos mihoyo for that bcos when i was staring at his eyes in his official art- Dude those eye are empty- you cant read whats he thinking and it bring a sense of mistrust and malice in my way--- Even if I already did his story quest with Teucer that malice is still there for me Fun fact: Lumine was supposed to be the Devil bcos canon-villain but meh still a Fool for her
Tower: Pride and arrogance- a symbol for bad omens (im sorry kaeya) I dont know... something about Kaeya’s aura just tells me somthing bad will happen to him considering his origin- be it bcos of his pride or other things, Kaeya sends me red flags sometimes
Star: A hope in the dark. Barbara is self-explanatory and Diona is a personal experience ahaha- my first time fighting a ruin guard gone wrong and diona saved my ass ksks
Moon: Creativity, inspiration, dreams, and fantasy- all of these which Venti personifies as a bard and the Archon of Song
Sun: Xiangling and Amber brings joy to everyone and anyone, making them the sun
Judgment: I had difficulty picking for this arcana- but it all came down to Keqing. Keqing is a very serious person. She basically personifies logic and rationality- Whenever she declares that the time of the adepti are over- I know she speaks this without baseless judgment as she observes the progress of liyue and humanity in general
World: Dainsleif knows everything and anything and i was kinda spooked out by that in his story quest
AAAAAAAND THATS IT- this was one long post but hey i enjoyed this mini project of mine. I lost my sanity cleaning these cards and characters but thanks to my sugar high I managed hahahaha if you have some thoughts, feel free to share them and if you feel like you wanna speak about your perspective which conflicts mine- pls be gentle commenting ahahaha again this just fanart
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m143ui · 4 years
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A MESSAGE TO THE PJO FANDOM
so hello friends on the other side
I understand some of the major concerns regarding characters like piper and the feather and hazels description but when you bring Leo and Reyna into the fucking conversation I have lost all respect.
ANYONE CAN BE ABUSED, ETHNICITY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT
LATINO CHARACTERS
Reyna is not a negative stereotype, she isn't defined by being latina and neither is Leo, he isn't a stereotype simply because he’s latino and was abused. also him being called an elf was because he was short, which had nothing to do with him being latino. also the mamacita comment like y'all hide under the label “progressive” but ignore that mamacita has been a thing in Latin American communities for a fucking while. its not an insult dammit. its something that happens in our communities!!! its like saying muchacho y'all don't see men bitching about that.
also shocker I read the mamacita comment and I can proudly say I didn't go
“RICK YOU RACIST BITCH”
things that actually happen in communities aren't racist
and before any of y'all come at me with the usual you’re white excuse, hello friends im Peruvian and Paraguayan.
I don't think he’s perfect but bitching about characters like Leo which gave many of my Latin American friends hope for similar characters destroys your “listening to minorities” argument
also the lol “hes Mexican taco bad” argument like I live in Mexico we eat tacos like every fucking day. its literally a fact. and Leo isn't just defined as taco man.
believe it or not us latinos respect rick because he gave us role models and characters like us. we don't define a character by one line and instantly call discrimination. like yes a asian character can be snobby it has nothing to do with ethnicity. y'all are making this about ethnicity. an asian character can be anything, just like a white character or a black character or a gay character. people are not simply defined by their labels like ya’ll think. y'all are just a bunch of easily triggered snowflakes that can't live with that. they can be influenced but in the end labels are labels we are all human and should be treated as such.
LGBT REPRESENTATION
another thing Reyna was never officially a lesbian that was YOUR interpretation not riordans. IF HE DIDNT STATE IT , SORRY HONEY IT ISN’T CANON! I don't care about how she was “lesbian coded” if he didn't state it it isn't canon. 
I am so sick, as a lesbian, to see people use ALL QUEER DEATHS as a bury your gay tropes, what happened to seeing us as humans? why can't we be treated like any other character? if we die we die, it isn't always “haha gay evil boom death”. sometimes fully fledged characters have to die friends.
Nico isn't a bad gay character, he’s just a normal character who happens to be gay and has suffered major trauma. HIS TRAUMA WAS CAUSED BY HIS UPBRINGING, Nico isn't a 2000′s character, he’s from the 30′s, so obviously he woudn’t be perfect with his sexuality for gods sake it was the 30′s. the exact same thing happens with hazel, she isn't a modern black woman, she's a 30′s black woman. Nico’s coming out isn't him as a 21st century teen its from the time when the GOVERNMENT KILLED YOU FOR BEING GAY
also saying there are no lesbian characters? like wow look emmie and jo don't exist. Lavinia doesn't exist. poison doesn't exist. thanks fam you really make yourselves look smart here. simply because rick never said the word gay doesn't mean the gay characters don't exist friends. they are just labeled as what gay characters should be labeled as.... human.
LESBOPHOBIA & RACISM
im not educated in muslim or black culture so I won't mention characters like sam and hazel and piper because I respect and I am highly critical of what rick put in his books to describe these specific minorities.
HOWEVER saying rick is a lesbophobe, a homophobe, a racist a sexist cis guy is like do y’all wanna be taken seriously? use arguments don't hide behind words.
rick isn't a perfect writer but y'all really don't know how to criticise, y'all just hide behind big boy words and back it up with no evidence, just opinions.
rick doesn’t have the best minority rep out there but he is damn well trying and I respect that unlike all you fucking idiots.
SHIPS
now onto ships.... yay
frazel: im not gonna censor it like you pussies, believe it or not 13&16 year old relationships exist. they might not always be healthy but they exist. to deny this is to be stupid
solangelo:  another ship that is censored..the main argument I've seen is that it isn't developed and will isn't even a character... he was in last olympian and lost hero not my fault y'all have fish brains. I don't care if you dislike it but don't be like “ANYONE WHO SHIPS THIS IS AN ABUSIVE WHORE” like wow you always preach about accepting all ships and then throw this? also if you hate solangelo because of the “abuse” but ship percico like hi friends Nico is 4 years younger than Percy.. if y'all hate frazel because of the 3 year age difference y'all should hate this too.
CONCLUSIONS AND SHIT
not every character minority or otherwise is gonna be the way you want them to be, believe it or not any character can be anything, black characters can be loud, white characters can be loud. if they're only loud because “haha black” then THATS an issue not the simple existence of a loud black woman who has a loud personality.
y'all be here bitching about drew and I've never heard the asian perspective of this? just a bunch of black and white people telling asians they should be offended. was that just an uno reverse?
also last point stereotypes aren't always a negative thing and y'all need to get that in your heads.
anyway stay mad hoes <3
from a sane Peruvian <3
EDIT
I saw this beauty and had to comment on it
“having LGBT characters experience abuse and violence. nicos forceful outing rubs me the wrong way, especially because hes called a coward for being in the closet. its violent and kind of disturbing to make your gay character come out of the closet by force. maybe write better. additionally, alex's abusive father and subsequent homelessness because of her being trans is badly written.”
oh noooo gay characters can't deal with homophobia anymore ! like I can tell you have never been punched for being gay. is it bad to showcase how trans and gay ppl are 40% of homeless youth? or is even mentioning that discrimination? believe it or not some of us live in countries where people try to kill us. you have an advantage and it shows. about the coward thing... 
was FUCKING CUPID A GOOD CHARACTER? NO? I REST MY CASE. CUPID IS NOT SEEN AS A GOOD PERSON THEREFORE HE IS NOT A GOOD PERSON GET THAT IN YOUR THICK SKULLS.
 YOU HEARD IT HERE FOLKS LGBT FOLKS DONT GET FORCED OUT OF THE CLOSET 
#NEVER HAPPENS IN REALITY. 
JUST BECAUSE YOU WERENT FORCED OUT OF THE CLOSET DOESNT MEAN OTHER PEOPLE HAVE THAT SAME LUXURY. 
maybe stop spewing bullshit <3
(so I get that this scene can remind people of being outed and it can hurt them however this scene was never intended to be a good thing it literally says Nico is scared of facing his emotions)
EDIT NUMBER 2
oh boy rick really pissed off the snowflakes that I share a fandom with
“give Nico to the gays” no? he would be a femboy and they would yeet his trauma like ssrsly?
also hate rick? bitch no one is forcing you to read his tweets.
death of the author is such a toxic thing like the mans is alive boo he aint going nowhere..like What the fuck 
EDIT NUMBER 3
anyway final thoughts on this :
nico insn’t Uwu gay and its an insult to his character
Reyna is not a lesbian canonically (neither is Thalia)
Leo and Reyna are not racist
none of ricks characters are  written as insults to their communities
and if I see one more “but ....phobia/ ...ism I will do very illegal things
peace lol
RICK RIORDAN UPDATE:
congratulations rick antis! you have successfully harassed a  56 year old man into leaving social media! wow so progressive!!!! this totally won't backfire or anything!!!
all jokes aside all of you who harassed rick to the point of someone else taking over his social media should feel ashamed
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cometcrystal · 4 years
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anyway i finished Family by ffn user The Middle Warner Sibling today. i’d link it, but tumblr hides posts with links; you’ll find the fic easily if you sort on fanfiction dot net by highest amount of favorites for animaniacs LOL
here are my thoughts which i am making a Post about because this fic is literally 760,000 words long and if it’s not a touchstone of the fandom, it should be. ALSO if you care about spoilers for this story, this post will have spoilers in it.
things i liked:
the warners themselves are written very well. i’m not a huge fan of the “they’re actors and animaniacs is the show they film” idea myself, but it’s done in the best way possible here that feels very believable
i watch riverdale and thus i enjoyed all the melodrama. this fic is very dramatic but that’s not always a bad thing
the adult fear was very powerful. as a 24 year old and also an oldest sibling, reading about how during their TIS days, dot was adopted off to a few different homes and yakko and wakko didn’t even know it??? and she was only returned because she wouldn’t stop crying out for yakko??? was INCREDIBLY unsettling to me. the fact that it’d even happen. also my favorite arc was probably the TIS arc alongside the car crash/coma arc
the sibs being descendants of bosko was an interesting detail that i liked. there are SO many animation history references throughout this ENTIRE fic and i’m positive i missed some but i recognized a lot. op obviously knows what they’re talking about
the implementation of toon theory and “schlesinger syndrome” is BRILLIANT. i’ve seen lots of fics explore toon theory stuff, but none as in-depth as this. i LOVED IT and i want to read just an entire manual on toon theory. i wanna take an entire course
the sibs’ mentors and chaperones are all wonderful. i’m very firmly a “scratchy is the warners’ parental figure” truther, but bugs bunny being that in this fic worked very well. yakko calling him “da-doo” in his perspective is VERY fitting and i liked that detail a lot. it’s extremely cute. also foghorn’s relationship w wakko and porky’s relationship with dot are both extremely cute as well. also: chaos vodka aunt slappy nation rise
hello nurse is given a real name and some agency thank god
the character of penelope goose should be a real thing. i love her SO much.
i have never watched a single episode of talespin in my life but i love mrs cunningham, kit, and molly now
i cried three times at this fic, which is an accomplishment because i have NEVER cried at a fanfic before: once when ophelia died, once when goose comforted yakko after they got caught by TIS, and once at goose’s funeral
normally i don’t care for overly-dad-like yakko. he’s protective of his siblings ofc and would die for them but he’s still their big brother, not their dad. BUT in this universe, dad-like yakko makes perfect sense, and i really enjoyed it, so points for that
every good thing that happens to the warners feels completely earned. we see them from the very beginning, when dot can’t even walk yet, all the way up to yakko’s 16th birthday. it all just feels very rewarding to see them succeed, and their backstory/buildup to working for warner bros is just. really good. the familial love and sibling relationships are IMMACULATE
things i didn’t like:
i know that teenage boys are just Like That but also i did not like how the author put yakko in so many situations where he was allowed to act on it, especially considering he’s like, 12 or 13 when his first makeout session happens, and then maybe a year older when the next thing happens. really did not like that.
also really did not like the author’s homophobia and transphobia showing in SEVERAL instances. it was just weird because the fic’s weirdly progressive in a lot of places but then its just like. yakko explaining that gay people exist to wakko is suddenly a “weird conversation”. like. ok
Plucky Duck Epic Racist Moments. THIS WAS SO JARRING FJDSKLFJSDLK DONT DO PLUCKY LIKE THIS AND DON’T DO MARY MELODY LIKE THIS EITHER. EVIL
pinky and the brain and straight and brain is straight with GADGET HACKWRENCH
this fic is so mean to scratchy. be nice to him :(
it’s also mean to skippy hes just a boy!!!!!!!!!
things i am neutral on but still found noteworthy:
the author has a very very strong vendetta against darkwing duck for some reason and its just so baffling. he is SO yucky nasty to the warners and FOR WHAT??? and gosalyn is a lil bitch in this fic too its SO weird to see. ive never watched darkwing duck so maybe theyre just like that but i doubt it
anyway i enjoyed reading this story despite the problems i have with it. it managed to cut off at the best moment it could: yakko getting reassurance from bugs and giving him a hug after wakko and dot have decided to try new interests out. it’s unfinished, and was last updated in 2014, but that’s a much better cutoff point than a lot of unfinished fics get, and i don’t feel a need for closure on anything.
just be warned, this fic has a LOT of heavy subjects in it. feel free to ask me if you need any specific warnings, but otherwise, i say go for it
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fuzzbuns · 4 years
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Can we get your ramblings on comphet Nyaa-chan?
idk why I keep getting anons who wanna open up the Pandora's box that is my mind but like I would literally LOVE to talk about comphet nyaa so I will!!!!
(under a read more tho cuz this is gonna be long once again)
Before I start I just wanna say: I’m a lesbian and I'm gonna be talking about from my own personal perspective/ experience so obviously there is gonna be some bias and projection going on (Also I’m assuming everyone who is reading this knows what comphet means/is but if not comphet stands for compulsory heterosexuality). I don’t think Oso staff was literally making an episode to comment on comphet (I refuse to give Oso staff more credit than they deserve) so this is probably all accidental but I'm obsessed with reading the episode this way because I think it just fits so well and also totonyaa.
So let’s start with when Nyaa notices Oso. When we first see Nyaa interacting with Oso she honestly seems pretty guarded. She is glad that he saved her baby but she quickly pulls her kid away from him and gives him an awkward nod as if she is saying “ok thanks but now you can go”. However, the second her baby seems to show an interest in Oso (reaching out for him because his big brother charm is just so strong...) Nyaa’s reaction shifts. She keeps and eye on Oso while they are at the park and when he leaves she laughs to herself. 
This is the first aspect of comphet I want to dive into. From personal experience, I found that a lot of the “crushes” I developed on men usually stemmed from the thought “omg he is so funny lol”. To this day, the only fictional men I end up interested in are ones that make me laugh. Nyaa seems to be doing something really similar here. When she and Totoko are talking about Osomatsu she says:
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In the beginning the only real opinion she can form about Osomatsu is that he is funny. When Totoko presses her for more Nyaa isn’t able to offer up much other than “you know”. She is interested in him because he is funny and she wants to get to know him more because he is funny. It’s really easy to mistake these feelings of thinking someone’s funny as endearment and attraction even when it isn’t that deep. You can tell it’s not that deep because Nyaa can’t explain to Totoko what about him is so great. And lets be real... its not like Osomatsu is a super hot guy and Nyaa is just being superficial...... she’s not infatuated with him because of looks.... Whatever it is that is attracting her to him has to be his personality but she doesn’t know much about him outside of him being good with kids and funny. She just runs into him now and then and is interested in knowing more.
Totoko goes on to tell Nyaa that he has issues to which Nyaa pretty much responses to with “epic. I like him,”. We end up seeing Nyaa do this a lot. Totoko and the others will point out undesirable things about Osomatsu to which, in response to, Nyaa will just re-affirm that she likes him. We will get into this more later when its more relevant but liking unattainable men is textbook comphet. Also the way she says “I like him” kinda sounds unsure. Like as much as she is trying to convince Totoko, she is also trying to talk herself into it. It’s ok if Osomatsu has issues because she has already decided that he was going to be the guy she likes. 
Totoko goes on warning Nyaa and we see on Nyaas face that she is getting annoyed. If you wanna go full totonyaa here then you could argue its because Nyaa is wondering why Totoko won’t just say “date me instead” but like.......... i would never argue that lol..... me??? no..... haha.........................................unle-
So Nyaa is getting annoyed and starts bickering with Totoko like they usually do and from here on I would argue Nyaa is purposely trying to piss Totoko off. She says she was “just sort of interested in him” and goes on to say you dont know what kind of person they will be unless you date them (not true at all queen). Totoko tells her that’s stupid and this REALLY upsets Nyaa. It almost feels like Nyaa was trying to make an excuse for why she should date Osomatsu even if she wasn’t totally into the idea. Comphet makes you think that maybe if you try hard enough, even if you don’t feel anything now, eventually you’ll have to feel something romantic for a guy. Totoko shooting this idea down is essentially ruining that excuse for Nyaa. So she angrily says: 
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Which......... if I were... like a totonyaa....... enthusiast... I could say like.... This is Nyaa basically doing the classic “why do you care about who I date” thing...... that would be crazy tho haha.............................unles-
I also think Nyaa saying “choose” is interesting (tho I'm aware I'm going off translations and she might not actually be wording it like that) because with comphet you literally are choosing who you fall in love with. 
Totoko responds: 
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And its clear that Nyaa is escalating her attraction to Osomatsu out of no where. In this scene alone we have gone from “he is funny” to “I like him” to “I was just sort of interested” to “love” even tho nothing has happened to change her feelings. She is escalating because Totoko keeps shooting her down and in order to reaffirm her feelings she has to make them more intense. She is also pissing off Totoko in the process. We see it again when she goes:
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I’ve been joking about it but like... totonyaa goggles on... she is clearly doing this to annoy Totoko and get her attention. The way this line is delivered makes it so clear that she is not actually interested in getting Osomatsus number. She wants Totoko’s attention. The next frame is literally her smirking at her phone as Totoko starts panicking. Nyaa likes having Totoko’s attention and the best way to get it is to bicker with her. She is choosing a guy Totoko clearly does not like (I mean I think Totoko and Osomatsu are pals but like she knows he’s a P.O.S) and continues to egg her on about it to keep having Totoko telling her to not date him. Another key aspect of Comphet is trying to constantly get the attention of other girls. Plus, speaking from personal experience, talking about a “crush” you have on a boy with the girl you are actually interested in and having them tell you no feels nice and when I was little and the ceo of comphet I would do it constantly. 
So Totoko gets the brothers involved and Nyaa seems uncomfortable and less into the conversation (probably cuz its no longer just between her and Totoko but that's just me). Her tone is less confrontational and more just confused. It’s almost as if she feels the point of the conversation isn’t there anymore. None of these opinions matter to her. What she said to Choro was harsh but she had a point. She doesn’t know these people!! She wanted to talk with Totoko about this. However, she doesn’t seem to keep that same attitude with Osomatsu? Like what makes Osomatsu any different from Choro? 
She ends up asking everyone to leave and saying:
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Once again she is using the word “chose”. She is stating she loves him despite not knowing anything about him besides his crimes against humanity (Which she agrees to that being vile so????). It really feels like she is just being stubborn. She said she likes him so stop confronting her about it because the more holes you poke in her story the more she has to try and convince herself that she genuinely likes him despite her knowing deep down that she doesn’t.
So fast forward to the night they all get together. That part about her liking a man that is unattainable is showcased here in full force. 
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She loves the idea that he does not give a shit about her. The idea that he isn’t interested just makes her like him more. I can not overstate how textbook comphet this is. When the guy you picked to like turns out to not be interested in you; that is the best scenario a closeted lesbian could imagine. You get to keep “pinning” over a guy and playing the part of a straight girl without the pressure of acting on it. He isn’t interested so you are never put into a situation where you have to prove that you are. All the things he does that show that he isn’t even considering her (like not fixing his bed head and literally going after Totoko instead) are things she loves. The more disinterested he seems, the more perfect he is. This reaches its peak when Oso literally doesn’t even remember her and she says:
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The idea of Osomatsu not even being bothered to remember the moment they met literally has her rolling on the ground lol. 
Osomatsu jokingly askes Nyaa if she is interested in him. She gets really quiet. Obviously this could be read as embarrassment and its probably what was intended. However, continuing with the comphet theme it could also be her realizing that she has to make a choice. She’s interacting with Osomatsu now and he’s (jokingly) flirting with her. She can’t keep acting like he is unattainable at this point so she prepares herself. He jokingly asks her out and she says yes without hesitation, confirming that she would like to date him and even adding a “please”. Because... this is what she wants right? She has been arguing for this the whole time and she was finally given the chance. Why should she say no? This is the beginning of the end.
We see Totoko and Oso having a drink (and she looks so pretty in this scene I fall to the ground and die). Totoko leaves and her body languages looks so emotionally exhausted. If I were a totonyaa enjoyer I would say “she told Osomatsu that she loves Nyaa but wants to see her happy”............... oso staff DIDN’T PUT ANY DIALOUGE IN SO ITS MY CITY NOW-
We see nyaa excited for her date and picking out clothes because!!! this is what she wanted!!!!! she fell in love and got a date! everything is going perfect!
Then she wakes up.
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She is startled. Whatever she realized in her dream it was a lot to unpack. mayhaps... a dream about toto-
She sits up and you can tell from her body language that she is really reevaluating. Her feelings vanished over night. She can’t shake the feeling that something is missing. Even though everything is going right and she should be excited and happy, she isn’t. Something is wrong. It’s like the second it hit her that she actually has to go on the date and that Osomatsu is showing interest, she loses any interest in him that she had. She liked the idea of going on a date but the second it starts looming in and becoming a reality she can’t do it. 
When Nyaa apologizes and turns Osomatsu down you can tell she is embarrassed. 
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She runs away, unable to face him, knowing that its her fault. See, if she woke up and was like “oh shit he IS a P.O.S” I don't think she would be so apologetic. But she is. She is apologizing for leading him on and knows that she can’t keep up the façade anymore. She knows she caused him a lot of trouble feels miserable.
So to sum it up: Nyaa was in love with the idea of having a guy to pine over. She liked that Osomatsu was an unattainable guy and that being interested in him annoyed Totoko and made her pay attention to her. But the second things got real and she actually had to go out with him, she couldn’t follow through. This can all be explained by comphet and I would even argue its like one of the only explanations for the ending that makes sense but I might just be bias. 
also I think Totoko and Nyaa should just make out...... Happy Valentines day!
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jesuscrab · 3 years
Text
Disco Elysium: Final Cut first impressions
Well, im only two hours in at this point, but i wanted to share my thoughts with others, mainly about the new voices. Don’t worry, this post will be spoiler free. Putting this under a read more becuse its fairly long and i dont wanna fill the whole tag with my bullshit lmao.
So, first and foremost: new content.
I haven’t gotten to those new quests yet at this point (obviously), but i’ve seen a lot of changes already. There are smaller animations for character added here and there, some misc UI changes and tweaks. It’s all very good. They are just small additions, but were instantly noticable and add a lot of flavlour to the world and conversations. I especially like the UI animations, they seem a lot smoother then they used to be. Really cool.
Now, the elepthant in the room: voice acting.
I was sceptical about voice acting, but after playing i think its a very fun and nice addition. Dont think it really adds anything to the experience, but its cool that its there i guess.
But... the voice actors...
As you may be aware, due to covid and other stuff za/um unfortunatlly had to replace some voices. And i gotta say, the replacments are kinda bad sometimes. Let’s start with Cuno: new Cuno is actually cool imo. He doesn’t sound like a weird crackhead anymore and just sounds like a child. Some think its bad, but i feel that the voice actor is very good. The new voice just gives you a different perspective and presentation of the character. Its not bad, just, yknow. Different. 
New Garte is alright. Took some time to get used to, but its okay. He gives the same infelcion and accent.
Lena has a slight southern accent now? I guess it kinda fits but it’s still weird. And she doesnt even sound like a grandma anymore. I think it works but i personally dont like it. Maybe it’ll grow on me in time - we’ll see. Wonder if they changed Morell too? Hope not, love his wierd accent.
René and Gaston - holy fuck, these suck lol. Dont think if i can explain it but i’ll try.  René had this very distinc voice, he sounded like he was constantly angry, which fits his character as a jaded old facist, He doesnt have that anymore! The new voice sounds like he is just reciting words, very small emotion, sounds very bored, at least to me. Thank god that the voice still has that french accent or i would flip. Gaston sucks, but in a different way - he sounds normal. He just sounds like the most generic dude ever. I wont say his og voice was some sort of marvel of voice acting, but it was something reconacible and fitting. The new guy, whoever he is, doesnt do anything - just normally talks into the mic. It’s bad becuse its boring.
Oh, i almost forgot the SCAB LEADER. Remember his constant yelling, his furoious anger? Its not there anymore! it’s funny when the dialouge says that you feel a very “violet and savage feel from his tone” and the voice actor conveys nothing on this. Not a feel of deep hatred or disgust from him. His voice isint bad per say, but it doesnt convey the same character, it just doesnt fit at all! No spoilers, but im just worried how this change will affect his later apperence in the story - pepole who played the game know what im talking about.
Klasse has a new voice too, but i didint hear enough of it to form an opinion.
As a last thing, i just wanna say: absolutley no hate towords ZA/UM or these voice actors. The studio sadly had to replace the voices, and the actors did a good job. They are not bad pepole for not not feling right to me lol. Also again, these are my personall opinions. Im sure there are some who love the new voices and think im stupid. Everyone has their own tastes.
So thats it for now. I will eventually make an update when i play some more, but dont expect it too soon. I’ll probablly write it after finish the game, or at least meeting at the characters. Hope you enjoyed reading my random thouths!
Now get out there, detectives!
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lorddiiavolo · 4 years
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*shyly slides url over*
i made the meme up. you don’t tell me what you always wanted to say “bEfoRe 2020 eNdS”, i do. send your url.
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    can I just start off by saying I’m Thoroughly pleased that I got to meet you in the year of 2020?  of all the chaos that’d happened, I’d say you’re a surprise bundle of chaos that I got to meet but you aren’t rly chaos per se - you’re another one of those surprise, mellow friends that I had the privilege of meeting.  you’re such a sweet person, Brit - ignoring your tendency to strew angst all over the place. it’s a good quality to have though, I didn’t get enough angst in the past couple of years anyway, you keep me on my toes with your angst lmao.
  AND for having just 10 months to talk and get familiar with each other ( I think we both have the tendency to not approach people first for various but also possibly some similar reasons ), we came quite a ways.  you were always on the dash and I always was trying to figure out ways how to get us to write more bc Diavolo was digging his heels in the dirt with Solomon akjsha but despite how much Diavolo might’ve Not been fond of Solomon, your portrayals are part of the reason I’ve come to rly like the muses you write for ( especially the ones I’ve seen before but haven’t really paid much attention to: Vil, Solomon, Barbatos but I liked him - you just amped it up with your portrayal, Byakkomaru even tho idk who he is - your portrayals have me like :eyes: ).   the amount of detail and love and passion you put into them, how you explain their inner workings and why they do what they do, it gives me ( and I’m sure many others ) a different perspective. it’s a refreshing change of perspective and you always have me open-minded when it comes to the characters you take on. I even kind of take your portrayal for what the characters are, at least the ones that I don’t know but kfsja none of it is done in a way that's obviously out of character.   you’re so thoughtful with not only your portrayals but with how you treat people.  you always put a lot of work into everything. every writing, every relationship, every project you do, be it a meticulous process, I understand but you do it in such a way that it’s seamless.  you’re an overachiever ( no, I will not hear your objections, you came for what my thoughts are about u and Im delivering, u cannot intervene with humbleness and/or objections. shush, be silent ) and that’s something I can recognize.  you dive headfirst into projects and portrayals but you come out of it on top, and that’s just Brit.  it doesn’t take a close friendship to realize that, either.  that’s something admirable.  and I hope you carry that trait into every single thing you do - not to a point of burnout but in healthy dose.
  in this new month - seeing as we got to talk a little more afjsah I really hope we can do more. I’m bad at telling people about what Im doing kfsja things that interest me or just talking about my day but that’s something I wanna do with u and a lot of other people that I got to meet and get more familiar with. you’re an anchor on my dash, a presence I’ve gotten so used to seeing that when I don’t see you pop up normally I go and see if ur up to anything just for the sake of knowing.   I hope you don’t take these as just words when I say you’re someone who I’ve gotten used to having around and I plan on being around a little more bc you’re just good company to have.  no tension, no time-limit, no negative strings attached rly you’re just someone who I see vibing on the dash and someone who tolerates the bullshittery I let Diavolo do kASDFJ SO WITH THAT BEING SAID ---- thank you for being here. and for giving me a chance to find my bearings with this blog bc I didnt know what I was doing at first lmao THAT GOES IN HAND with your support. from small amounts of it to you just up front responding to shitposts and interacting ooc in general, like, it’s small to some people but its a lot to me and it always makes me smile a little when I see you bc its like “we’re bonding” LMAO you’re GREAT, Brit. you’re SMART, you’re wELLREAD, you’re just as shitposty as I am but u get it. you’re someone I didn’t think I’d even be able to talk to and yet here we are. and what’s more is your angst balances out my dash tbh lmao. it’s wonderful, pls keep it up - bring the tears for me and I hope you’re ready for more trouble from not only Diavolo but myself >:3c ily, treat yourself kindly and DONT BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF IM JUST AS STUBBORN BUT LISTEN I WILL REMIND YOU. now pls drink water. thank you for being here still, Brit.
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tsukidotcom · 4 years
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Tsukishima Kei — Teasing
This is referring to more of a friendship with Kei than a romantic relationship. But you could think of it either way :)
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Okay obviously this man is going to be a huge tease. Shorter than him by a few inches? Will make fun of your height. Your hair naturally brown? Will call you shitty hair (bakugou is that you?).
He won’t say sorry about it, either. Unless you visibly show you’re legitimately hurt by it. Like deeply hurt by it.
It Was At This Moment That He Knew, He Fucked Up.
You guys probably will avoid each other for a few days before Yamaguchi makes him talk to you. Once when you and him are alone he will be really awkward about it. A lot of unwanted tension and unneeded silence.
He’ll blurt out he’s sincerely sorry. Maybe even treat you afterwords by buying you a meatbun/your favorite snack. He isn’t familiar with words and how to use them. His tone of voice may come out wrong or he says something he doesn’t mean. Please don’t react harshly by what he says baby is really trying his best 🥺 Give him a few minutes to untangle his words and say it properly.
Once when he finally got his shit together by then you know he’s sincere and you feel better. You might chuckle a little bit because he’s just a goofy hot mess. He’s so funny trying to apologize to you. like a child !
He will never admit this out loud—and I mean NEVER—but he does care about you. Teasing is just his way of showing affection. The more he teases the more he seems to like you. But he doesn’t want you to know he likes you. So he does the OPPOSITE of love; hate. Tease. Being obnoxiously,, out of his way, rude. Another reason why he teases is to hide how he feels? Like if he suddenly becomes embarrassed he’ll call you “bakka” or some other mean comment to hide the fact his face is a very deep shade of beetroot.
He also teases because he likes your attention. Who knew a snarky comment could give him all the attention in the world?
Again, he‘s aware he can take things too far, but he never actually knows the what. What causes things to be too far. What does he SAY that’s bad. Why? When? Where? Who?
In his noggin, he knows he doesn’t think the things he says are true. So when you take it seriously he seems clueless at first
Poor Tsukishima,, thinking people can read his mind and know he’s joking.
After thinking the situation through your perspective, he can see how much of an asshole he really looked. Mental facepalm.
Once when you guys make up, and I mean the SECOND you make up, he is back to being a salty saltine cracker. Will say lighthearted remarks.
He will probably purposely call you a ✨nostalgic✨ nickname or say the most used remark he always uses on you. I say nostalgic like one of the first insults he ever said to you.
Since you guys have been avoiding each other, being able to hear Tsukishima’s remarks somehow made you happy??? Especially a older one.
He’s considerate idk 🥰
And babey really does have a heart please 🥺 he just hides it with his salty comments. Everyone notices his mean remarks but if you analyze them you’d realize he meant something TOTALLY different.
For example:
“Hey, Shorty.”
“I’m not short!!!”
“I have to bend down just to be able to look at you.”
“I will steal your knee caps before you get the chance to run away.”
“You’re legs are so short, N/N-san. You wouldn’t be able to keep up with me.”
What he was really saying was;
“I want you’re attention. look at me.”
“oh, here’s you’re attention.”
“Not Enough .”
“Wha-”
“m o r e”
Yeah, he’s subtle like that.
After you two get it off, his way of words starts to rub off of you. Whether you like it or not. You suddenly know great combacks whenever you get into an argument. Always leaving the other person speechless. You learned from the best, after all 😳
If you tell him that you learned from the best, he’ll most likely feel flustered. A sudden tint of pink rose to his cheeks and the tip of his ears. He’ll call you stupid and useless as he looks the opposite direction of you to cover his face. Because you’ve been picking up his own habits you start teasing him.
“Awwe, is Tsukishima-kun flustered?”
“No—Boke.”
He’s so used to you teasing/insulting him that when you actually compliment him he doesn’t know how to act. Even if it was more on the sarcastic side he’ll still freeze up like 😀 whut.
He also just adores you so a compliment from you is everything 🥰🥰 a mega softy on the inside don’t fight me on this.
All in all is a real jokster 😅🤣 but can and will be serious when needed. He will always be there for you. He isn’t good with words but is real good with actions.
If he notices you’re visibly sad he’ll (snarkily) ask if you want to hang/study at his place. If you accept y’all would just chill out in his room. He would be wearing his headphones, doing homework on his desk or something while you sit on his bed, a big dino plushy wrapped around your hands. Probably scrolling mindlessly through your phone. Sometimes each others presence is all you guys need. Suddenly you don’t feel as sad.
If you’re really sad and just end up breaking down, venting and/or crying out to him, he’ll listen and won’t interrupt you. Headphones = off.
Don’t expect him to say a speech or reassuring words. He doesn’t know shit when it comes to that type of stuff. You shouldn’t expect him to hug you, either. Even tho most people would react that way Tsukishima isn’t like that.
“Oi, what are you-”
“Tsukki,” you sniff, “I can’t do this anymore....” You bury your face in the dino plushy, hugging it closer to your chest.
You go off and complain about your life. He would definitely be surprised/taken aback. He’d just drop whatever he was doing and listen to you. If someone did something bad to you (a bad friend, dark past, toxic relationships, etc.,) He’s imagining how to confront them at tomorrow at school ❤️😌
But that would have to wait. He definitely wouldn’t say a mean comment. If he does, it would only be one that could make you laugh. Lift your spirit. In the moment, he might put a hand on your shoulder, arm, or back. Just to remind you he’s here. And you might lean into his touch. You just spoiled your deepest insecurities and past, after all. You’re vunerable to him now. And honestly Tsukishima might be the best person for that.
He’s quiet and reserved even though he says loud, evil comments all the time at everyone. Nobody can read his facial features because he always stares with a blank face. Nobody can pinpoint what he’s thinking. And nobody asks because he hides well behind the wall of Tsukki Insults™️©. Even being as tall as 190 cm, he can hide pretty well. He can definitely keep a secret and act like nothing happened.
He also might rub circles on your back or squeeze your arm/shoulder as a way of saying “you’re okay” “i’m here” “don’t worry”
This isn’t his typical style but this is definitely a side of him that’s there. It’s just nobody sees it.
After you feel better, he’d act back to normal and keep on doing his work. If not, he’s probably babying you a little bit. Will give you water or warm milk (warm milk and cookies, maybe??) and put on a movie on his tv in his room. The tv is small but, i mean,, it’s there.
Turn off the lights for you. Maybe make popcorn or any snack you like.
“But—Tsukki. You’re homework... you won’t be able to do it in the dark.”
“It’s fine. I can do it in the morning.”
“Are you sure..?”
“Yes, baka, I’m sure.” He ?softly¿ scowls
You’d be under the warm covers. He’d probably be in bed, too. Not under the covers though. And he makes sure to keep his distance. A few ft seperate you guys. The only way that gap is gonna close is if you move yourself.
If you do,,, he’d definitely ask and tease you. ‘oh, you wanna be near me?’ “shut up.”
Honestly you probably feel touch deprived, or touch deprivation. After all that crying and thinking bad thoughts. You’d probably want a simple hug but Tsuki would never give that to you and you know it. Even if you directly asked he wouldn’t. And watching a movie in the dark just makes the atmosphere so moody..? Perfect rime for cuddles!
I dont blame you 💔🥺
Kei wouldn’t move away but he wouldn’t suddenly put an arm over your shoulder or anything. He’s gonna keep to himself. He won’t mind sitting like a few inches apart. If your shoulders are slightly touching? He’s gonna get a lil tense. If you are noticeably leaning onto him and your legs are close to his (even when they’re under covers) he is gonna be rEalLY tense and flustered.
“What do you want, creep.”
“Nothing.”
“Liar. Just spill it.”
“Mm, I just want to be with you. Is that okay?” You say, teasingly innocent.
A flustered tsuki tenses his shoulders, “I’m already with you, dumbass.”
“Saying useless insults now, are you?”
“Shut up.”
Will probably end up leaning on you a bit, too :>
If you fall asleep he’s just gonna let you sleep on his bed all night and sleep on the couch or something. His neck will be a pain in the morning which he’ll make you buy him a strawberry shortcake as a thanks for his bravery and sacrifice.
“Here’s your shitty shortcake, your highness.” You say sarcastically.
He gives you that signature smirk, “This is what happens when you fall asleep after balling your eyes out to me-”
“Hey!” You grow pink out of embarrassment. You’re an ugly cryer so you didn’t even want to imagine what Tsukishima witnessed.
“Uh...., T-Thanks for listening, by the way..”
“Oi, don’t start getting sentimental.”
“I-I’m not!” you protest, “Can I not say thanks? I mean, you helped me... a lot. I always bottle things up.... so i...”
“It’s fine. You repayed me by giving me this strawberry shortcake.” He eats another bite
You look up at him and smile. You could tell he meant that he doesn’t mind it. And for you to shut up before he gets flustered again.
Tsukishima Kei cares for you 101
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whenever you have free time: can you explain your opinions on what houses vox machina and the mighty nein are in? i 100% agree w gryffindor nott btw
I’d just like to start by clarifying that altho I do feel strongly about some of these opinions (& ive joked about them being unchangeable - which is not true, to be serious), that doesnt mean I don’t wanna hear y’all’s - do you agree w/ me on some & not the others? completely disagree? completely agree for different reasons? tell me (politely pls) & give me some of ur reasons! i think part of the intrigue of sorting our fav characters into hogwarts houses is that it tells us what we value in them & what traits of theirs stand out to us the most - and that subsequently makes it…. fairly subjective (also doesn’t help that the standards for each house are kind of……vague lol)
I expect all of ur essays on this v important question on my desk by 8 am monday morning
now onto answering the actual ask:
The Mighty Nein
Caleb - Ravenclaw; aside from the fact that he obviously values books & advancement of his own magical knowledge, he also seems to think through important decisions in a logical manner (ex. he spent a lot of time thinking about whether he & nott should stay w/ the rest of the mighty nein)
Fjord - Ravenclaw; again, besides the obvious, his interest in studying at the Soltryce Academy, he’s also really observant & intent on learning from those around him, given all the questions he’s asked Caleb & the way he keeps an eye on Jester’s divine magic
Molly - Hufflepuff; altho initially i had some mixed feelings about this, after giving it some thought, im actually most convinced of this one: as many have pointed out, he’s shaping up to be the Mom Friend & taliesin also says he has a moral code that he sticks to - i think being steadfast in the way youre gonna put good into the world (& in how u treat the evils & injustices) is very Hufflepuff  
Yasha - Slytherin; though I say this tentatively bc we haven’t seen a lot of her yet - she doesn’t seem like a traditional slytherin in a highly ambitions sense, but she does seem like to stick to her guns & prioritise herself when necessary (“I run into the woods”)   
Beau - Gryffindor; she strikes me as fight first, ask questions later kinda gal & going in guns blazing seems very Gryffindor to me - in addition, she also saved nott from that manticore, which struck me as reckless bravery consistent w/ gryffindors
Nott - Gryffindor; i spent some time thinking about this one after @matt-the-blind-cinnamon-roll gave some of their reasons for slotting nott as a hufflepuff - ultimately, I think nott’s a gryffindor despite the fact that she doesn’t consider herself brave is bc her actions speak louder than her words (“I cover Caleb’s body with my own” & “I kill the baby manticore”); the willingness to put urself at risk for the people u care about over and over even at ur own expense strikes me as a gryffindor trait (for better or worse, I might add - see my thoughts on Vax’ildammit)
Jester - look I……………………………..honestly don’t fuckin know. Hufflepuff? Slytherin? Idk ask me again in fifty episodes
Vox Machina
Percy - Ravenclaw; initially i had percy as a Slytherin but i think once he got over the whole demon revenge thing he actually turned out to be pretty Ravenclaw - I mean, he does invent things, and he’s not interested at all in being in charge of Whitestone (also what kind of fuckin nerd learns Celestial for the fun of it lmao)
Vex - Slytherin; Lady Vex’ahlia, Baroness of the Third House of Whitestone and Grand Mistress of the Grey Hunt - she cares about the title & the money & with very good reason, i think - her ability to obtain what she wants & persevere through the tough times puts her in Slytherin (also - with trinket’s origin story - i think it takes some real fucking grit & confidence to dig urself out of that kind of situation on ur own)
Vax - Gryffindor; this one is a lot to unpack. @swiftbell & i have been arguing about this one on & off for awhile; she thinks Vax is a Hufflepuff (& she has good reason to). there’s a lot of debate about whether hogwarts house are based on who u are vs who u want to be/strive to be & while i think arguments based on the latter r fine, i tend to base mine on the former in this list bc its easier to see actions than try to parse out thought
so that being said, i think Vax is a gryffindor bc while he cares deeply about his found family, he doesn’t exactly place a high price on his own safety; he goes in first, he goes in stupidly, he almost gets himself killed a lot - that kind of drive toward self sacrifice, to me, falls under the reckless bravery of a gryffindor
(as I said to steph: a hufflepuff would die for their loved ones if they absolutely had to, but a gryffindor tends to look at it as one of their first choices - also vax reminds me a lot of sirius black but im gonna stop right here to avoid turning this post into a vax character analysis)
Grog - Gryffindor; grog doesn’t do much thinking, he just does (& im not saying all gryffindors don’t think - obviously many do (@ hermione granger)- but i do they’re the types of people most prone to falling into the trap of not thinking things thru) it’s almost like the opposite of vax’s problem except we’re not talking about vax anymore bc this isnt a vax character study
Keyleth - Gryffindor; i feel like im beating a dead horse here but kiki also doesn’t always think things through & is very prone to action; the difference between her brand of gryffindor as opposed to vax’s & grog’s is that her outcomes are a little more mixed bag
Pike - Hufflepuff; i think pike is a hufflepuff for a lot of the same reasons i think molly is… which is a little surprising so just bear with me a second; she’s very devoted to Sarenrae, which sets up her (mostly) clear perspective of the world and how she should exist & treat people in it; she’s less of a mom friend (altho she still has some of those qualities), and she’s as loyal to her own causes as she is to Vox Machina; she also tends to be very kind & fun-loving w/out being a pushover
Scanlan - im a huge fan of scanlan, which probably means i should have some momentous opinion here…………….but I don’t, I really don’t know - i think once i get to some key points in scanlan’s character development (which i think are coming up in the next like 15 episodes or something), i’ll have a clearer thought
Tiberius - im not sure i remember tiberius well enough to make a full judgment, but I would say Ravenclaw probably if i had to bc of his constant interest in intelligence & learning to be a better sorcerer
Tary - ive heard of him but i dont know him yet so tbd  
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(This is very random and i havent been arpund here for a while so feel free to ignore this!!)
Hi! I wanted to talk abput this with someone but im not brave enough to tell my friends and doing anonymously seems a way put of it.
Does it scare you to put your writing out there? Im not scared of being vulnerable and im quite open with everything i do but im scared of putting my music out there and people being able to put a face to it . I know we dont do the same thing but i guess i was wondering if you feel this way too
- 🤖
Hiiii welcome back! 💕
I totally understand what you mean. And, yeah, it does scare me. All the time. Because even though I write fiction, so it’s less immediately autobiographical in the way that most listeners assume the singer/songwriter is the pov of the song, my writing is still based on my thoughts, feelings, my perspective of the world. So if I write something about, like, relationships, or sex, or mental health or whatever the fuck, it’s based on my subjective experience of these things and if someone doesn’t like them it’s like they’re saying they don’t like me or they reject my world view.
Also, like, people knowing who I am means that they can look me up and kind of see the “person” behind the writing and draw their own conclusions or whatever. It’s one thing to write vulnerably, it’s another thing to open yourself up to strangers lol. You’re like subject to misunderstanding/ misinterpretation. People will walk around with opinions about you, in their heads, and you will never know these people or have access to their thoughts about you and your work. It’s weird.
Obviously, I’m just a fan blog on tumblr (which is a ‘dead platform’ compared to others) and if even I feel this way, then idk how actual artists, celebrities, content creators etc deal with that.
I’m working on something rn (will tell yall about it soon ish) that’s different that writing and more personal and the idea of someone I don’t know knowing of my existence because of it is sooo weird to me lol. BUUUUTTT I do think that most of us make the things that we make (fiction, music, or if you paint or film content or whatever it is) as a means of 1. Connecting with others and 2. Expressing ourselves. Whenever I have written a fic and shared it, it’s usually because I’ve felt that I have “something to say” or because I have a certain kind of experience, wonder if someone else has it too, and hope that if I put mine out there, they might see it and feel less alone. You know? Cuz, as a consumer of art, those are two of the main things that draw me to it. Not to be Matty Healy about it, but “we create in the way that we consume” is real. I love I Always Wanna Die (Sometimes) because I know exactly how that feels. I DO IN FACT always wanna die (sometimes) and sometimes I think must be weird, broken, etc because there’s no way someone in the world also feels the way that I feel. But then he wrote that song and put those feelings into words and put it out there and I listen to it and sob in bed any time that I’m having a depressive episode lol.
Songs like POTB and Looking For Somebody (To Love) are kind of different. I don’t relate to them in the same way. I’m never gonna be a school shooter (thank fuck) and I’ve never been an emo edgelord sexy rockstar who does cultural commentary, is a recovering drug addict, gets canceled on a weekly basis lmao. But because he made those songs and presented those povs in the way that he did, I now know that I am connected to both of those. And I now have access to the minds and hearts of people that I otherwise couldn’t relate to or understand. And it makes me better for it.
Also, again, not to be Matty Healy about it, but, you know that Karate podcast that he did during Covid? He talked about how the pandemic kind of made everything stop for a while. And how if you’re a creative person and you, for whatever reason, can’t / don’t have access to creating stuff then it’s kind of like a death. It might as well drive you mad.
So, I guess, ask yourself if you’re more afraid of putting yourself out there than you are of not being able to create, connect to others, or express yourself. Then you’ll have your answer.
I’m not sure if this helps or makes things worse lol. But that’s usually how I feel about it.
Fellow writers and creators on here feel free to jump in.
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allmyfangirldreams · 7 years
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Would you be interested in a (7 part) series based entirely upon the Harry Potter Books/movies except from another character’s point of view?
Before I start, I’d like to say that if this idea happens to already exist and I didn’t know about it then please ignore this post as a whole cause thats really embarrassing!
I’ve been thinking about this for like forever and I’ve read a few posts of people also wondering what having the Harry Potter series be from another character’s perspective would be like so I thought it might be a really fun idea to try it. I have a plan but I’m not really sure if anyone would really be interested in it so I wanted to get some opinions from you guys.
Here’s what I wanna do: I want to write a series based on every single Harry Potter book/movie (mainly books) but I want it to be based on another character’s experiences. If enough of you support this idea of mine, I plan to go through each chapter and rewrite it from whatever character you guys most want me to focus on - this will take a lot of time and but if people get to enjoy it at the end or the day, I really wouldnt mind putting that effort into it. (I might not be able to have the same exact number of chapters in the original book especially if the character is hardly mentioned but I’ll try my best!)
This will clearly be based on what I imagined happening and most of it will be made up since the specific character might not be mentioned in that chapter however Im going to also use some interviews with JK Rowling and try to gain ideas about what she thought of the characters and what she thought would happen and base all my writing on that.
My personal choices if I do go along with this would be either be Draco Malfoy, Severus Snape or Sirius Black/Remus Lupin but of course I also want some of your opinions on whom you would be interested in the most.
Let me explain to you why I’d like to do each of those characters and how I plan to do it for each of them.
My top choice would is Draco because I actually would find it the most interesting to go through his experiences through each year at hogwarts. I’ve always wondered how things would’ve been like if he was the main character and I’ve always wanted to know what he’s thinking - especially through the last few books.
As well as that, Draco would also be a good choice since he’s been there ever since the start of the series all the way to the very end and I want more detail on his character development since everything he’s been through is also pretty damn horrific for a teenage boy and I don’t think the original books did him any justice with his character development.
Obviously it would be somewhat hard to write this because Draco is not in all of the chapters of the books but I’d use the books and movies and try to imagine what sort of things he would be doing at that particular time and what sort of things he might be feeling and like I said, I’d take into consideration all of Rowling’s thoughts of him and all of the facts we’ve already got in the books.
Some things that I’d really enjoy writing would be things like Draco meeting Harry on the train, his thoughts and feelings after being rejected for the first time, Draco ordering Dobby to warn Harry and stop him from going back to Hogwarts, being afraid of the dementors and the escape of Sirius Black and so on.
I’m not gonna lie; I am a huge Drarry fan so if I do go along with Draco, expect to see some sort of pinning or like ‘in love but unaware of it’ kinda things. However this will not change the story line/ending of the actual story; Draco won’t end up with Harry in their first year and neither would he do so in the seventh since that is not what happens in Harry Potter. Although that would not likely happen in the rewritten books, because that is not the purpose of this is, I’d happily write an eighth year of hogwarts (after all other books are complete) that might focus on Drarry and their relationship if you guys really want that.
(I got inspired with some post from someone stating that they’d like to read a book or fanfic that revolves around Draco - I think it was by @rosesforlester here on tumblr that was posted in around March last year - and I’ve seen other posts here and there asking for the same things so…)
My second option would be writing the stories from Snape’s POV. I’m not the biggest fan of Snape however I know that many people for some reason are so I begun thinking about it. It might really be interesting to see things he might’ve gone through in order to keep Harry safe or gain Dumbledore’s trust and maybe his feelings might be interesting to some people who really like him and appreciate what he’s done.
I also know Snape is one of JK Rowling’s favourite characters so I might be able to get a lot of ideas from her interviews or from pottermore and such so thats why I’m considering writing his point of view however in my mind it’s kind of hard to imagine what Snape could’ve been doing or feeling since he was pretty much seen as a cold heartless character until the last book so bare with me if you would like me to do his perspective.
Lastly, Sirius’ or Remus’ perspectives. This obviously would not be a 7 part series if i decide to do it from either of their perspectives as they are only there for 3-4 books and they’re hardly mentioned but I’m in love with both of them and what they’ve gone through so I really want to write their side of the story.
For me personally, it would be really interesting to know all about Sirius’ mind. I want to have flashbacks based on the night James and Lily died, I want to experience his thoughts during Azkaban and the hatred he felt when he saw scabbers on that newspaper article and I want to write all about the nights he spent trying to forget those horrifying 12 years he spent locked up.
As for Lupin, I want to know all about how broken he was the night he thought 3 of his best friends were dead cause of someone he used to trust with his life, how he felt lonely every night as he thought of all the maruaders went through together, how after every full moon he missed this 3 animagus friends who became that way just for him, how betrayed he felt for 12 years and finally how happy he was to see Harry and have tea with him at school and to realise that Sirius really never betrayed him at all and that he’s back now and its all okay except it’s not.
For both Sirius and Remus, it would he more like another version of their experiences during the first magical war and their experiences together with James, Lily, Peter and Severus during Hogwarts and all of that. It will basically be the marauders books that we never really got from JK Rowling but it will hardly follow the plan like Draco’s point of view would.
Also I’m one of the biggest fans of the marauders so a 7 book series based on their life would be everything I’ve ever dreamed of but since we aren’t getting that anytime soon, from the looks of it, I’d happily be the one to write it if you guys also like the idea. I’m also a big fan of wolfstar and since we dont know much about the marauders’ experience at hogwarts, in my version wolfstar might be referenced or it might be canon or whatever - I don’t know yet.
Anyway, I’d love to know all about your thoughts on my little idea and if you’d be interested in any of it. Feel free to comment or message me directly with your support and opinion on the character you’d most wanna see and your thoughts on my plan as a whole! It will be a huge motivation for me since this task is a really big one and your support is what will make it happen.
Also, feel free to also offer your own opinion and reason if you think theres another character that I did not mention that would be better to focus on - let’s discuss and debate!
I’d appreciate all the support and if any of you are willing to help with the research, editing or any other area you think you’d be of help with please don’t be shy to message me and I’d love you even more!
Reblogs would be most appreciated as it would also help spread the word! Thank you so much!
(All of my social media links are in my bio)
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ts-akhmim · 4 years
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Episode 2 | “GET ME OUT OF HERE ” - Devon
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okay so i filmed a video confessional earlier which is uploading where i basically talked about dealing with being a winner/the tomb and having an idol/potentially wanting to go to tribal pre-swap/deliberately choosing the puzzle/how much i love jake so that'll come at some point after this but just KNOW that came first. anyway just wanted to talk MORE because i have more thoughts. last round i was really conscious of needing to micro-manage my threat level and i think im putting in work to do that? im very concious that i cant play the same game as montenegro because im coming into it from a very different perspective/position. However, one thing I can do this season is transfer my prejury game, because i think it still works. What I need to do is to some extent take a backseat, where I'm not actively messaging people first, and keeping game talk kinda limited (but acknowledging it when people talk to me). Like I have the safety cushion of my idol, and my connection to jake/jordan, and to some extent dan and lovelis? like im not gonna be a target (touch wood) and hopefully if i am my men tm going to keep an eye out for me.... hopefully? it also means im not gonna be pushy about votes im gonna hear names and run with it (as long as its not jake/jordan, or lovelis tbh i get real good vibes from him). but yeah id really love the beauty tribe to go to tribal this round ive literally never spoken to a single one of them so i'd love one of that tribe that is a complete unknown quantity to go home DJDKLFSF. but yis so im feeling good taking a backseat but im gonna ejector seat myself forwards at some point, just got to figure out when to push the button
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Okay so Bodhi left last night and that was really sad. We had nice conversations but i told him that if the rest of the tribe wanted him out i wasn't going to campaign for him. He ended up making his rounds but at the end of the day, no one felt strongly about keeping him. He speaks so well that it took me a night's rest to get my head straight. Also Trace got an alliance together of himself, myself, Scott and Isaac. Bitch i was SHOOK! I am so glad to be likable enough to be brought into someone else's core. So this kind of perfectly positioned myself and Scott between 2 alliances. I believe we're both more loyal to the one we formed before we found out we were going to tribal, but who knows. I did tell Autumn of the news because i figure if we were to lose again. Whichever of Isaac of Trace remains is going to feel on bottom and blow up that Scott and I were two-timing the DADS. Btw that is the dumbest alliance name I have ever been a part of but whatever. The rat pack has also formed and now him and I are in a good spot. I will say that i am nervous that MISS ALYSSA spoke the comparison into existence, but i really hope we don't continue to flop like Luzon did on Cagayan. But hey! If Denise can go to every tribal council in one season and win, maybe i can too. (PS i pissed myself with my score in winterbells but also F*CK WINTERBELLS, thats all, ty) 
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Honestly I’m really regretting not participating in this challenge because I feel like our scores are.......not great. I feel like I could have turned out the puzzle and even winterbells. The flag Lovelis made is super cute and i think will fair well bc it’s very clean and neat. It’s not super creative, but it’s definitely well made. I think even if we went to tribal I would be okay though. Liam seems like an easy enough boot for us. No one seems that dazzled by his contributions to the tribe. 
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i literally am the biggest clown who ever clowned for continuing to overdo it in challenges, if i'm allowed to make it to merge at this point it will literally be a miracle.
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So Bodhi left on a unanimous vote yesterday and I'm glad that it worked out as planned! I definitely felt bad lying to him about it all and stuff, but I think it was the best for the tribe going forward. What does suck however is that we lost AGAIN! And it was actually close this time! I'm actually annoyed that we lost this time because I submitted my challenge at 4PM and the reason why we lost was because the last submission was at 8 :/ like... y'all couldn't get it in any earlier? Plus I'm annoyed because I find myself in the swing position between the DADS and The Rat Pack. Personally I don't trust Trace after finding out he tried to play the Rat Pack off as my idea when it was really his all along. To me, it shows that he'd betray me later on down the line. And the only purpose for "The Rat Pack" is so they feel like they're in the majority. So since we lost, I don't mind voting out Trace. Duncan and I called to confirm that we're on the same page. We also found out that Devon is telling us the same things about loyalty and allegiances and I don't like that. He also told Duncan that he would throw immunities and play idols for him if he needed it, and that Duncan was his number 1 ally. But he said the same exact thing to me. So... that has me a little sketch. But I also think that Autumn/Duncan are a close pair, so I may need to stick close to Devon for the long hall. But if Autumn/Duncan think I'm more with them than Devon, I'll take it. I'm supposed to go on call with the Dads soon. Duncan wants to tell them about the rat alliance so that Isaac doesn't use it as motive to get us out. Which i agree that it'd be a good idea as long as devon/autumn stick with us. Duncan and I both feel like Devon might be thrown off since he always likes to be in control, but not actually being in charge. So we'll need to do damage control when that happens. But for now it seems like Trace is going unless things change. If things go how I would want it to, then Trace leaves tomorrow. 
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https://drive.google.com/file/d/1JKqH3EQMlugIe-lwHMYMG2qoVZ7dvIzr/view?usp=sharing
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Omg!!!!! Another win that makes me so happy . The tribe is all getting along great and I couldnt all for better ppl. I'm hoping soon to get some kind of solid group together. Kendell adam and amiry are ppl I def wanna work with long term at the time. Just gotta see what happens. 
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Not much has been happening lately so I might be able to keep this short and not ramble on and on like i usually do (ill still end up writing a novel probably) yippy yay it's day 5 and everything is still all smiles and giggles over here because we've won yet another immunity!! kinda boring tbh but obviously im happy we won immunity because now that buys me one more day and at the end of it that's all i care about. I kinda did want the brauns to go to tribal however instead of the brains because i just really would like my beauties to get a nice foot hold and a lead in the game, i actually enjoy taking to some of these people, and im trying my best to talk to as many people as i can, which anyone who knows me knows isn't the easiest thing for me, i was reading some of my old confessionals from both my past games and the one thing i consistently got dragged for was not being as present with people, which granted i did improve a lot on last time around for sure, but i still got work to do and im realizing that more each day when i have no urge whatsoever to talk to anyone (don't worry, it's not you, it's (crippling depression) me! I understand socializing is part of the game and i do think my social game is my strongest asset but to me i like to think of my social game as a more distinct kind, im more elusive and i like to be that, if you leave them wanting more dahling they'll keep you around, i dont like to show all my cards, and that's a quality that i reflect in both survivor and life, and it has advantages and disadvantages in both but ANYWHO despite all that dare i say i think im still doing *decent* ? I'm making it a priority to reach out at least once a day to *most people (AJ, Augusto, Amir, Austin) are the ones ive probably had some of the best conversations with where it was the most natural and just flowed you know, and still is on day 5, and with kendall ive had some talks with her i do like her but idk i get this vibe she's kinda holding back when talking to me, and ESPECIALLY same with connor? we only had one private conversation and he gave me about a 3 word response, and if you havent guessed by now i like elaboration or at least a lil bit of personality when you talk, no shade just an observation, so that's a small red flag im very much a person who matches energy, one of my go to's in survivor is being open to the possibility of anything, ill always work with anyone who will work with me, and i think thats how everyone should play so hopefully the people ive been talking a lot to feel similar but i guess we'll have to wait until a vote of some sort to see about all that.. I still havent heard any idol talk or even game talk quite frankly so im guessing people are just still keeping the friendly facade up..... or ...... is it me?? am i the one on the outs looking like boo boo the fool or is that just my paranoia getting to me??? im not gonna send myself into a tizzy about getting voted out when we're not even going to tribal i- lemme calm down. If i had to guess I'd say Kendall, Connor, or Amir have the idol probably but sounds like a mystery for another day because im DONE im clocking out for the night until other people wanna wake up and play the game too oop final note: ok but it would be sick and twisted if it turns out they are all playing the game just without me and im the first boot of the tribe 
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Waking up on this glorious Day 5 with a new perspective. I originally applied to be on the brains tribe and was shook when I got brawn because let’s face it, my arms are akin to overcooked spaghetti noodles. BUT my tribe is so much stronger than the brains. I’m hoping for a big name to go to shake things up. AND I’m not really looking to swap onto a tribe with Trace or Autumn due to our past game history. Love them both dearly, but it’s gonna be a no from me. 
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okie so! update from me is i think im doing okay. like i think the benefit of no dua lipa cave is you can just build connections with everyone, you aren't voting someone out every round so why not capitalise on that? i'm so afraid of the fact that i'm overdoing it in challenges like i really need to calm. down. but im reassuring myself with the fact that in the first challenge i only was top because i did like... one more thing than others like its not thattt big of a deal? my puzzle time was clownery but hopefully people don't pay attention to it? im getting very anxious about overdoing it in challenges, but my thought process now is like. i need to act like people have an awareness of it, without getting kinda consumed by my anxiety about it? idk im hoping since most of these people don't know me, they wont notice me doing good in the challenge but truly who can be sure also am really just liking my tribe? like jake is ofc a king, i love jordan (who im gonna talk to later, he is the only one i feel like i have to talk to today), i also really like TJ who i was super harsh on at the start for no reason, i get good ally vibes from lovelis, liam m is super sweet even tho he is kinda inactive and dan is so fun (plus he told jake that he speaks to me one of the most so we love that!!). i've been trying to figure out what i even do about a lot of the super old school players that i have no connection/point of reference with? like people like scott, adam, kendall, aj i have truly no basis with? thats whats so scary about a swap, is at this point in the game i know 10/20 people left aka the brawn tribe + duncan/isaac/autumn, and like 10/20 isnt bad... BUT then the other 10 aka the beauty tribe + trace/scott/devon i have literally no connection to which is super scary JAKSDFA. im just real afraid of a swap. just swap me with jordan/jake/autumn/isaac PLEATHE. im just a pile of anxiety this season idk what to do im like frozen because of how scared i am... maybe it'll be all fine
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Well, that was a close one. I struggled with that comp all day and I feel like absolute shit that I only got our team that 1 point. To me, it's inexcusable not to have be able to help my tribe as I wanted to contribute and make sure I made my worth known. So now I'm just this paranoid mess that I would have been in trouble had we gone to tribal. It's been hard to talk to some of these people or for most of those who I do talk to, I just don't really know where there head is at. I'm not sure if this is just a really guarded tribe, or if I really should be concerned. So I don't know what to do just yet. And that's not a feeling I like when playing TS.
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Not gonna lie, I’m pretty sad that Bodhi left the game like he was so active pre-season so I was expecting him to do his best to go super far and maybe he did? I don’t know, but I did want a chance to actually get to play with him in TS but we keep passing each other by! I hope he is doing good despite how he might feel being the first boot yknow but yeah <3 
The way I absolutely flopped with the idol system stuff is all types of funny and sad at the same time like I REALLY thought I did something only for it to be part of the challenge… That being said, Amir did tell me that he has a theory the idol system might be based on numbers which is interesting! I am super thankful he decided to tell me and we went on this long talk about how we are each other’s #1s which is super cute! I really do trust Amir and I do want to go far with him because he’s awesome but that being said, my #1 is me like I promised myself that I’d be selfish this time around just because being the selfless person I am hasn’t gotten me a win but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. We did go over a lot of stuff in terms of tribe dynamics and we both kinda agreed that AJ would be the first boot from the time if we went to tribal, we like our alliance with Kendall/Connor, we both like Adam and we both think Austin is sweet/genuine even if we don’t talk to him tons so yay for that too <3
I am SO trying to sell the fact that me and Kendall are a duo to Kendall which is funny to me idk hjfkds like she did approach me super early on about aligning but I do have the tiniest feeling she did that to mostly everyone but I’m trying to pin us with each other to her so she trusts me more, especially since I do feel as though she is the best connected on the tribe. I even called us Crystal Cox (me bc blazing speed and challenge flop ofc) and Ken(dell) ghfjdksl, I’m doing the most but yeah, I just want Kendall to see me as her #1 in the game on the off chance anything happens yknow?
Austin thinks I’m his #1 which is really sweet? I do like Austin even if it is hard to talk to him sometimes but hey, that happens. He told me that he’s really glad I’m on this tribe (which I have heard from basically everyone especially Adam and Amir which makes me feel cute omg) and that we might need to get a group going soon. I was like…. Tea but I also don’t know how quickly I want to get an alliance including Austin going just because it’s like… do I reveal that Austin and I are close-ish and be seen as a social threat? That just ain’t cute sis! But yeah, Austin told me he also really likes Kendall and Amir and that’s awesome that the two people I feel the closest to are ALSO doing THAT but at the same time, I want to be the one doing THAT the most because I’m greedy (by Ariana Grande) so it’s something to keep in mind! 
The way I absolutely flopped at that puzzle… this is why I’m a Beauty cause a sis ain’t smart to complete a puzzle and I’m not brawn-y enough to do well in a challenge hgjfdk BUT that being said, Hagthor beat the thots and apiss and I couldn’t be any happier! I do wish Brawn lost over Brain but yknow, you can’t have everything go your way (‘: it’s funny how I slayed the last challenge and flopped this one tho like a bitch really lacks consistency huh ghfjndmks
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Ugh fineeeee since I've been called out... by myself. I guess I'll do the bare minimum. So we won immunity!!!! Wooo!!!!!! Low-key though through out the entire process of making the flag, I just kept thinking darn I wish we voted out someone last tribal because drawing 7 people is annoying... watch me get voted out next tribal council lol. That would be quality foreshadowing. Today I have two goals. 1. Figure out what the method of entering the tomb. I intend on getting in contact with Augusto or Connor for that one. Augusto because he is low-key my number one. Connor because I feel if anyone can solve it he probably could. 2. Set up group chat with me, Augusto, and Austin. So Austin can feel a false sense of reassurance and Augusto and I have options. Write more later maybe.
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Honestly im feeling kind of trepidatious going forward which is a little wierd, i just dont feel like ive gotten my footing yet in this game. I think like, im in a good spot to be fine on this tribe because of my social game and how I contribute in challenges, but I dont know if I feel good about anything longterm just yet. What really is bothering me is the tomb. Its gonna be round 3 tonight and I haven't made any more progress on getting in than I have night one. I feel like I have a lot of pieces to this puzzle but nothing is fitting together and its bothering me. I'm also a little upset that if we lose, I could see Liam being the target and I can't see my self risking my position to save him if he cant save himself. He has my name on his wiki page its an obvious association to me, and while I think hed be loyal to me, I'm just wondering honestly if him as an ally is worth the target it may bring. Im cautiously moving through the beginning of this game with a lot of unnease and hopefully I find some steady ground soon.
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I am annoyed that we are yet again at tribal. I played so fucking hard at winter bells but of course someone on another tribe got like 238593277 billion which threw us back into tribal... So annoying truthfully. But it's alright, I should be able to make it out alive. I want Devon to go home. But I also don't want to let my guard down. This vote is important for a few reasons. The first reason is that our tribe is very close, so I am nervous that lines are going to be drawn in the sand. The second is that, after this vote, we will be down to five, making 3 the majority. We have an alliance of 4, and lord knows that when you are down to 5, whoever feels like 3 and 4 of the alliance are most likely going to try and rope in the 5th person to get rid of each other. So my plan is to make Isaac and Scott BOTH feel as though they are my number 1s so that they actually stick to our alliance of 4 thinking that I will be keeping them both if we lose again. This is the only way that i can see it working, but idk. I feel bad if Devon ends up going because he's a nice guy, but we have to make choices about strengthening our team, and then I have to make a choice about strengthening my place in the game. Hopefully this doesn't come to bite me in the ass.
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Things have been going pretty well for my tribe! We won the first immunity challenge and that really seemed to boost tribe morale. Granted, these past couple of days I've been quiet since I'm trying to boost grades that are literally 0s into something manageable before I graduate hehe. I've tried to keep up with people through small conversations, which seems to work better for me at the moment until I get myself together. Adam wants to create an alliance with Augusto and Amir, which I'm totally for. I understand, though, that he doesn't wanna do it immediately since there's really no urgency to? We didn't go to tribal, so why did it matter! That excuse aside, I do hope that us holding our breath to say something doesn't bite us in the ass because these are people I want to work with! I wanna get something going with Kendall as well hopefully, since I adore her! Earlier, I stated that Adam and I (Adam, really) found our way into the tomb and both flopped in the questions. Adam took another stab at it and found out we've been bamboozled! Someone beat us to the punch and has whatever contents were inside the tomb. I'm assuming it was an idol, but who knows what else is in there! It kinda made me lose motivation to keep searching inside but when in Rome? I'll probably end up trying again despite knowing the end result just because I wanna prove I can be a smart cookie as well. I also didn't gloss over this but I'll mention it really quickly, but I'm sad Bodhi went! He was one of the few people I was familiar with on the other tribes so it's unfortunate we aren't going to be able to connect with each other this game. A king has fallen. In lighter and more recents events, my tribe crushed the second immunity challenge. Kendall stunned with her artistry and I'm still gushing over how cute everyone's character was. I kinda like decimated Winterbells, but I've always been good at the game, and Amir did really well in the scavenger hunt. Augusto and Austin did really well in the puzzle also, despite their lack of confidence in offering a strong performance. We appear to be THEE tribe to beat honestly and I'm loving that. I love our tribe! I LOVE OUR TRIBE! It really would be a tragedy if we aren't able to keep up this win streak we're manifesting. 
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Sorry for not writing this sooner! Been having a bad depressive episode for the last couple days and it makes me unmotivated to write c': I feel like a flop so far in this game, not because I submit shit scores, but because I find it exhausting to connect with some of these people. They're all very nice in their own special ways, but interacting w some is like pulling teeth, and I guarantee they feel the same about me, which I would expect. That being said, I hope we keep winning, cause I don't have the energy to go to tribal right now.
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Heading into a second tribal council, there is becoming less and less room to hide. I am struggling to hold my own against the other tribes when it comes to competitions, but thank goodness it's a numbers game. If everything goes accordingly, I am taking a backseat this vote and allowing a 4-2 vote out when it comes to Trace. I appreciated Duncan coming to me with the alliance chat information with him/Scott/Trace/Isaac, but didn't like how Autumn needed to tell me first. Shows that I really can't trust Scott/Duncan after a swap comes up. In regards to Scott, he outright didn't say anything. I like him and all, but it was a slimy move to say the least. He only said something because he HAD to vote out someone in one of his two alliances. This group will be dumb as hell if they let me swap. I'll flip on them as soon as possible and invite anyone into my alliance. The tribe swap is where I made my 'Slithers' game infamous last time, so I'm hoping for a similar output. Don't forget: I swapped with the minority last time in Guyana (shout out to Jess), so I'm not worried about the numbers and how its split. ALL I NEED IS A SWAP OR TWIST. GET ME OUT OF HERE. 
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Thank God we won that based on the tiebreaker, but yikes I didn't think my flag would've tanked so hard. Guess I've gotta get better at perfecting my craft huh, but at least we're safe. I feel nervous on this tribe to be honest, because I think I'm the second to bottom on the totem pole after the other Liam, so it isn't reassuring that if we lose twice I'll either be gone, or I could even be gone at our first tribal if he's got a solid alliance going...the only alliance I have right now is with Jordan and I don't really know where I sit with everyone else, but I'm afraid of overplaying... ugh so annoying! I think I just need to force a couple of game related conversations with people to build up some trust, just hope it wouldn't paint a target on my back for trying I guess...
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oh gorl, some of these people on my tribe really think im just the clown of the tribe and cant put two and two together, well guess what, IM NOT. So Amir messages me, which nothing out of the ordinary there, ive been talking to him every day so far for the most part like i said we're a little familiar with each other from our pasts, but i was VERY surprised today at what had happened... what had happened was....he starts talking the smallest bit of game with me, basically he just said, "is it me or is everyone really quiet here?" and so i just agreed with him and i said yeah i dont think people are talking game yet which is a little weird, and then i threw the TINEST tea crumpet out there and i said "yeah ive talked to some people so easily like you, but then there's others who.....i cant say the same for" and i was absolutely hinting at connor/kendall just because i havent had the longest convos with them, which no biggie, but THEN about 20 minutes later i get a message from CONNOR of all people saying "hey adam!" ..... obviously im glad to talk to him and im all for getting to know everyone, but my instincts immediately went off and told me it's a little sus....how not even a few minutes ago i was saying how some people never talk to me and then out of no where the one person i was mainly talking about messages me?? Coincidences don't exist in survivor. Now I really have no choice but to think that amir in someway mentioned to connor that i said theres some people i havent talked to at all and that he probably needed to work on that.. which is true, but cmon. i know the tribe brain cell is missing but at least put a little thought into this and message me later tonight or not right after i say it?? I'm not sure if they have any type of past connection and while I definitely do wanna keep building my relationship with Amir, this will definitely make me question him a little bit at least until i see how some votes fall when we eventually go to tribal. Amir also told me he's had the most convos with Augusto, which is funny because thats exactly how both me and aj feel about augusto, which tells me augusto is really playing the game rn, and while thats someone i want to work with, it's also someone i need to be extremely careful with if we're still playing together down the road. plot twist: connor messaging me has absolutely nothing to do with amir and i just made this whole conspiracy for nothing but idk.... it's a conspiracy IM interested in.
***last add on because i forgot to say how the hell im gonna HANDLE this amir/connor situation... im keeping my eyes on it incase theyre in kahoots and also if they think im that dumb then clearly they havent watched me play before, which is great for me but bad for them, you cant trick a trickster try all you want, There's nothing I love more than being underestimated in survivor because it kinda makes it a little easier to play and gives me more options, so sure ill keep up my fake smiles and act like we're all fine and dandy, ill play dumb and wont even act like im onto them but i absolutely am and ill be ready to make my move the second it seems right 
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Ugh I feel so DIRTY. I feel so GROSS. Poor Devon, truly. I spoke with Autumn and told her about Devon, and she was in without a fight and told me that it should be 5-1. And then Devon came to me and was like... we all good for the vote tonight? And I'm like ................yes? Lol. I'm good, you're probably not. ugh, this is the part of this game that I hate. I want to never lose immunity ever again, let someone else break someone else's heart!
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Something about Kendall is so chaotic and terrifying and I can’t put a finger on why.her aligning was her talking to me for the first time in a day saying “let’s align” and created an alliance chat without even asking who else should be in it which leads me to believe her Augusto and Connor already have a trio and I was the 4th. Are all these focking people playing me?? Like i still cant tell if this is a real alliance but i want to believe it is and not a bluff to vote me out. But also like why even do that, the only person on this cast that I trust and have played with, bodhi, has just been voted out. I’m a free agent and I can help that alliance make it far in the game, but they also have lots of relationships on other tribes so like I might not even be that valuable to them. I mentioned to Augusto about the numbers on the blog, hoping to create more trust because I really really love him and want to trust him but I’m still just so damn unsure. if we lose this immunity and I get one bad signal from any of those 3, if they slip up even once, I won’t hesitate to align and gather the minority. But if they are playing me properly, then kudos to them! 
I am just happy i have the idol i am going to put it in my ass. 
me when the brains tribe only has 5 members left http://prntscr.com/s8y76g
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You know what? https://66.media.tumblr.com/b7b4accba586ad321141b6ba80d69044/tumblr_omule3fwZC1w1swfno1_250.gifv I'm mad but I'm not tight because that same alliance that Duncan and I orchestrated is the same alliance that will get us through. So do I enjoy going to tribal? No. And do I enjoy knowing that Trace created an alliance w/ everyone except me and Devon? No. But the Dads will prevail and I trust Scott and the gang. I mean Ducnan is family so as long as we don't go it's fine. But Devon is my baby so absolutely gotta kill for him. That's what keep em close hahaha But no the Trace vote is a dream come true that I only crossed my mind once and STILL got manifested. Like Duncan suggested it and I said you got it because Trace will be the FIRST to rally all the white boys against me in a swap. Cute or not, Trace will kill me I'm convinced. Like something in my spirit told me not to trust Trace and low and behold: Duncan reveals that alliance to me on Day 3. So confirmed, Trace is leaving so that I don't fall to the bottom of the tribe. But it's all good- Isaac listens to Fleetwood Mac and watches Schitt's Creek so he's a good guy. And Scott is literally a cinammon roll who's too busy to snitch or flip. I don't have time to discuss how much I love Duncan or Devon so we're tabling that. Anyway If y'all need me I'll be doing this 4 part immunity challenge that determines whether I make Final 3 in the other org I'm in so try not to need me lmao
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okay so... we aren't going to tribal but its still kinda messy on brawn beach. i kinda have felt this energy for a while, but i don't think jake and jordan have enough trust between the two of them for us to be a continual three person alliance. jake is a very reactive, gut-impulse kind of player which is honestly to his benefit since he is super perceptive. however that also means he is quick to be anxious about stuff in the game, which is the same as me and that is why we click. BUT. he thinks something is up with dan/jordan and honestly i see that and feel it. jordan keeps hinting at dan being the one to loop in and i think that does say something about them having some sort of game dynamic. however, jordan is maybe downplaying that relationship which is scary KLAF tbh i still like jordan and wanna work with him, but i do 100% have to keep tabs on him, his social connections could definitely become a problem if he has other priorities over me! so i think i just have to make sure im a continuing priority for him, so i have to find some sort of information to bring to him (maybe when dan proposes the alliance of me/jordan/jake/dan to me ill run to jordan and be like hey did dan suggest this to you how do you feel) to solidify that sort of trust? idk... i want my j-men to stick together and they ARENT. maybe i need to solidify stuff with TJ specifically more, he gives good ally vibes? but ya... its a mess tm
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