#object – in pretty much the whole universe.

[buttercup-barf]

Under the cut are mostly self-insert doodles of decreasing quality. Again, not much directly tied to Team Fortress 2. Might as well toss these out while I have no access to my puter. Much yapping under the cut and in the tags incoming.

Another self-insert, this time less of a "here's me as a tenth class" and more of a "here's my game experiences translated into the class I would take the place of". The Cleaner. Although I guess they could still be wearing either suit. It doesn't matter that much.

That one Convict's Case taunt with Backup would be extremely funny, because the man would be on the verge of a breakdown (he does not want to go to jail so bad you have no idea). The second image- I owe no explanation. You know what I am. You see the pattern with my favourites.

The duality of the man. Resting face versus "just heard you express interest in religion/Russian folklore" face. He's not that hard to make friends with, when you pull him away from all the explosions.

Some doodles of trying to figure his face out. Unfortunately, the more I stare at him, the more I worry that he looks like A Certain Guy With The Last Name "Kazarin", and the fear of never being original in my life caught up to me.

Don't look at me, don't perceive me, I refuse to explain any of my actions to you.

[45percenterthen]

@ahomeonfire wig

[mcondance]

knowing better, twisted pleasure ☆ spencer reid

MDNI 18+ oral yay!!!, i love thinking about spencer with his head between my legs so here we are, overstim so “stop” is said once so keep that in mind ☆ title from killshot by magdalena bay, listen as you read if you want! spencer i can’t get enough of you please.

☆ ☆

it’s too much, you can’t. you can’t.

“spence— spence stop,” you plead as you squirm and your legs draw up in an attempt to get away from him. but he just won’t stop. unaffected, he slips his hands under your thighs and pulls you closer to his mouth, to where he wants you.

soft locks are enveloped in your hands as you card your fingers through them because even in your delirium, giving him affection is like breathing. your objections skate right over that pretty head of his and he keeps going, because he knows you don’t mean it. he knows that if he stops and rises back up to his knees, you’ll be begging him to “come back, please,” like you did that one time he felt really evil.

you gasp when you feel two fingers enter you, and you groan painedly when they begin to move, stroking maddeningly.

spencer’s too good at this, his fingers are too caring and precise inside you and his tongue is too soft and sweet as it laves over you. jesus, what the fuck.

it’s all so much, so much. a tortured, groveled moan rips from your chest as another sickly-sweet pang of feeling rocks through you. spencer’s commanding fingers tighten around your thighs, stacking yet another sensation on your already overwhelmed nervous system. human evolution, no matter how developed and perfected, was not made for this. it balks in the face of what spencer’s doing to you.

“oh my god— spence,” you whine, locking in on him through your blurry, teary eyes. between your legs, he looks unfortunately perfect, even as he shuts you down and lights you up all at the same time. you’ve got enough going on under your skin to power your whole block.

it’s lewd, how he looks so pretty eating you out. his messy brown hair and those melting golden eyes, and most disgustingly, his mouth hidden where his tongue flicks against your absolutely soaked center. the visual is art, though, the plane of his shoulders and his ever-expressive liquid hazel eyes flitting between closed and taking you in, in your beautiful ruin.

it’s in moments like these where spencer feels good. you’re explicitly, obscenely beautiful to him, and your pleasure is something he takes great pride in giving to you. as you lose yourself in it, sinking into the sticky pool of feeling, he gets to bear witness to it all.

“oh, baby,” you moan so warmly as he flattens his tongue and licks right over your clit. before, his tongue was quick and precise, but now he’s taken to loving you slowly, licking in a way that could only be called sensual. he hums as he runs his tongue over you again, so salacious, open-mouthed and he looks so dirty that you can’t fucking take it any more. again, your body does its best to protect you from feelings you can’t compute, but spencer does his best to make you take what you need more than air.

then, his fingers inside you focus on their goal, and he’s curling them familiarly and kissing that spot, rubbing it softly.

“yeah, fuck—,” is all you can scramble out before what’s been building up in you since he first settled between your legs explodes. if you didn’t know better, you’d think you’re exploding with how fucking much you feel. it should be humanly impossible to feel this way, but it’s not, because you’re feeling it here and now as your ears pop and your vision goes black and spencer just keeps fucking consuming you. he has the nerves to moan from between your legs, sending shockwaves through your already ravaged being.

eons pass. you travel through a thousand universes and sit upon a thousand suns before you come back to your Earth, with your spencer looking softly up at you, his head laying on one of your glossy thighs. as your senses slowly return to you, it seems he’s wiped his hand off on the sheets because the hand that’s rubbing the outside of your thigh is relatively dry, considering its previous position.

“you okay?” he asks warmly.

“fuck you,” you drag, croaky and unpolished.

he snorts.

“yeah, you’re okay,” he says through his laughing, unhooking his hand from under your trembling thigh as he rises up to hover over you. he kisses you, and just barely begrudgingly, you kiss him back.

“good?” he whispers over your lips. you wrap your arms over his neck as you both settle with each other.

“yeah,” you acquiesce lightly with a shrug and a tilt of your head, before you bring him down for another kiss.

[tqmies]

Description. You and your friends have a pact, no dating unless you are. This is only fair seeing as you’re highly unlikely to ever get in a relationship, seeing as you tend to brush off every males advances. Unfortunately for you though, Na Jaemin really wants to date your friend, he’ll do anything! Even go as far as pay Lee Haechan, resident playboy, to change your mind about the whole dating thing. 

Pairings. Lee Haechan x Female Reader

Genre. Romance, Enemies!(Sorta)To!Lovers, Comedy, Angst

Warnings. Mentions of sex, drinking, kissing, reader and Haechan argue for a bit, crying, etc. Let me know if I missed anything.

Word count. 16K

Note. It's finally done, my baby, my longest fic. Words can't even express how much a roller coaster this was. Please, please leave feedback <3 Thank you for everyone who voted for this haha.

ONE, THEY MAKE EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM.

You laid sprawled on your couch as your friends continued to gossip. This was a normal thing, you’d invite your friends over, have a few drinks and gossip would ensure. You didn’t mind it, truth be told, but there was a reason today was particularly sour.

Na Jaemin, Huang Renjun, and Lee Jeno had crashed your impromptu get together. Well, more like Yeji invited them, bless her heart. But did she really have to? Her explanation was that her and your other friend Chaewon ran into them on campus. From there, they had invited the boys to drink with them. 

Sure, you get it, the boys paid for the alcohol. But really? Was it necessary?

They had taken all the attention away, practically commanding the room, and you couldn’t stand it. Of course! Here come’s buff jock Jeno, charming Jaemin, and pretty boy Renjun to steal the spotlight. And you detested all of it.

You and Karina sat with mild scowls on your faces, her’s from her lack of knowing other guests were invited. Being your roommate, she had done little besides change into a fresh pair of sweatpants and t-shirt, not expecting boys to come over. She freaked out for like five minutes after opening the door, you assuring her that she looked fine, but she was peeved for lack of warning anyways. 

She took the loss and just decided to sit in self loathing over these boys seeing her without makeup. Doing little to contribute to the conversation, you just twisted the string on your hoodie as they called out your name. 

“Do you have any lemons?” Jeno asks, looking over at you. His tone somewhat softer, trying not to piss you off. Even though he was already failing.

You barely even realize its you that he’s addressing, having tuned everyone out. You almost roll your eyes as your face scrunches upon realization of his question. “Why do you need lemons?” 

“Jaemin likes his vodka with some lemon juice.” He explains, the other staring at you expectantly before looking between you two. 

Of course he does, you just sigh and get off your spot in the couch. Karina follows after you, clinging onto you as a source of warmth. She didn’t want to be left alone without you after all.

“What kind of guy drinks their vodka like that? Be a man!” She mutters, pulling out a cutting board and knife as you open your refrigerator in search of the lemon. 

“I don’t even know if we have one.” You say, standing in front of your fridge with your hands on your hips. Digging through the drawers, you pull out the only round object to be found. “We have a lime.” 

Karina snorts and grabs it from you, slicing it in half. “It’ll have to do.” 

You laugh at her remark as she makes her way back into the living room with the wedges of lime. Karina was your oldest friend, you two meeting in middle school. Attending university and living with her was a no brainer, and it was going really well. During your freshmen year, you two had met Yeji in the library, Karina befriending her after basically living there during exam season. You two welcomed her into your friendship shortly after that. She then introduced you to her desk partner in finance class, which was Chaewon. You guys all clicked and that led to your little found family that you had here. 

You hoped these boys didn’t expect to squeeze their way into this sisterhood. 

Karina hands Jaemin the lime, shrugging as he looks at it, then back at her. He awkwardly smiles and squeezes it into his drink. Though you can definitely tell he thinks this is the worst thing in the world, well at least he’s polite. 

You and Karina go back to practically cuddling on the couch, her head right next to yours as you share a blanket. For the next ten minutes, you two sit in silence showing each other pictures on your phone, to which earns a nod or a hum of agreement. 

The others sit on the floor, around your rectangular coffee table, with the bottles all over it. Yeji nudges Chaewon though, tilting her heads towards you two. You guys were usually so loud, had something happened? 

Yes, something happened. Boys happened. 

“Don’t you guys wanna sit down here?” Chaewon asks, patting the carpeted ground next to her. “And have a drink maybe? I haven’t even seen you two touch your cups.” 

Renjun speaks up. “Yeah, you guys should come talk!” 

“We,” You begin, gesturing a between you and Karina. “Are talking plenty.”

“How’s the lime, by the way?” Karina speaks up, smirking at Jaemin. 

Jaemin just gives a forced smile and a thumbs up, though his drink remains untouched minus a sip. And even that, was a stretch. 

Yeji gestures for you two to come sit, giving you two a stern look this time. She definitely was just wondering why you guys were acting so reclusive. She’s adamant, you’ll give her that. 

Deciding that, maybe you’ve had enough attitude for one day, you take Chaewon up on her offer, plopping next to her. The spots also next to Renjun, who you deem to be the most bearable of the boys, so its not too bad. Karina sits on the opposite side of Chaewon, sandwiched between her and Yeji. Damn, you should’ve thought of that first. 

“So, are you all single, or what?” Jeno asks, pouring himself another shot. He asks only out of genuine curiosity, but you think your demeanor spoke for itself.

You lied, you can never have enough attitude in one singular day. 

Yeji nods. “Yeah, for a while now.” 

“Can I ask why?” Jaemin asks, taking a sip of his drink. “I find it hard to believe none of you have found anyone you’ve liked here.” 

“Why is that hard to believe? I find boys quite insufferable.” You speak, finally letting yourself have a taste of that vodka. The boys turn to you and you smile back sarcastically, having no qualms about what you had said. 

“That’s why.” Chaewon sits up, looking at you. “We have this sort of, pact thing.” 

“You really wanna get into this now, Chae?” Karina pipes up, knowing how this usually goes. 

“A pact?!” Jeno looks confused. 

“We have this rule, since we started this year, that we wouldn’t date anyone. You know, to keep our focus on academics and our jobs.” Yeji explains, the boys looking at you like you were all crazy. This was the normal response, shocked and somewhat disappointed looks, not like you cared though.

“So what? Plenty of people do that and still have relationships.”

“We’re just trying to stay as focused as possible.” Karina defends, shooting you a knowing look.

“There is however,” Chaewon starts, putting down her empty glass. “One exception to the rule.”

“Well?” Jaemin asks, leaning closer like a kid waiting to be told an answer. 

“Yn is the most responsible one between all of us. If anyone can do both, it’s them. Therefore, if she gets a boyfriend, the rest of us are free to date!” 

“That sounds stupid.” Renjun deadpans, and you’d kind of agree. It wasn’t even your idea anyways, they just held you to such a standard that they believed the day you got a boyfriend would be the end to all. Therefore, they placed their bets on staying focused onto you staying single. Normally, you’d be offended, but so far it was shaping up to be true. 

“We take this super serious as well.” Yeji nods. “Absolutely no boyfriends unless she has one. It’s just the pact of this friend group.” 

“Plus, Yn runs from boys like the plague. So it only seems viable to stake our academic performance on her.” Karina adds on, shooting you a teasing smile.

“Wow thanks guys.” You mumble. “I feel so loved.” 

Chaewon rolls her eyes. “You don’t have a boyfriend because you don’t want one. We are just following in your example.” 

“So basically, this exception is impossible. Which is why you put it as one?” Renjun tries to follow and all the girls nod in response. 

Oh Jaemin was in deep shit now. He knew about you, everyone in the room did. You laughed in the face of anyone who tried to romantically peruse you, not that they wanted to anymore anyways. Last time he heard a boy try to hit on you, it ended horribly for the entire hockey team.

 To put it plainly, you were never going to get a boyfriend. 

Jaemin wishes he had known about this before he fell head over heels for Chaewon. How could he not? That girl is perfect! But now upon hearing about her absolute refusal to date, this only meant certain rejection for him. He wanted to just be swallowed into your deep shaggy carpet, just let Jeno pry him out with a stick or something. This was just mission impossible, and he was no Tom Cruise.

“So none of you have dated before?” Jaemin asks, hoping he can get a hopeful response out of his crush. 

“I had a boyfriend when I met Yn,” Karina starts, face turning sour. “Let’s just say there’s a reason I was down for this agreement.” 

“Never had time.” Yeji looks away, clearly embarrassed at sharing her lack of relationships. 

“Me neither!” Chaewon agrees, and Jaemin all but deflates. She was absolutely unattainable, as if she wasn’t before, it’s even more amplified now! 

“And you?” Renjun asks, giving you a small smile as he tries to include you in the conversation. Though, you're not really having it. 

“Doesn’t really matter, does it? It’s not like I’m getting one now.” And with that you decide to find solace in your phone, choosing to ignore the rest of the conversation for the night. If only it was that simple.

TWO, THEY’RE LIARS.

Damn it, after all the kindness (read: not killing him.) you had showed Renjun, he does this to you! He’s around fifteen minutes late, leaving you to awkwardly muddle around the stores front door. Goodness, you look like a loiterer. 

You two had struck up an unconventional friendship after meeting again at your favorite burger place. You recognized him, and normally you would’ve walked off and pretended you didn’t know him. But you were caught off guard by his hat, and you just had to know where he got it from. He actually admitted that he crocheted it himself and you practically jumped up. This led to you rambling about how badly you wanted to learn to crochet. So, after exchanging numbers, you two agreed to meet at the craft store to pick up supplies. Afterwards he would help you learn crochet patters and all that good stuff. 

But he’s late, and you’re about to discard Renjun as another “Failed Male.” on your list. All in all, it’s a list of males you’ve given a chance to, friendship wise, that had proved you right every single time. (Lee Jeno was on that list.) Renjun’s liar status was slowly creeping up right about now. 

Hearing a car door slam, you spot Renjun pushing his hair back from his face, running towards you. He’s in a full on sprint, and he looks apologetic. 

The boy in the drivers seat, who you recognize as Mark Lee, offers you a smile and wave. You manage to offer one back, what a weird kid.

Renjun slows as he approaches. He looks stressed as he speaks. “Sorry I’m late, Mark clogged his toilet and he doesn’t have a plunger in his apartment and-”

You cut him off. “Hey, whoa it’s fine. I’ll be honest, I thought you had ditched me, but hearing you were just unclogging toilets made me feel a little better.” 

He stifles a laugh and just heads into the store, you following behind. This stores was huge, and with all these materials, you could likely be in here for days. Renjun’s familiar with it though, so he leads you straight to the needles and yarn.

Hm, maybe he’s not so bad after all. For one, he seems helpful with his friends, and he’s spending a chunk of his time hanging out with some random girl. He was alright in your book, and definitely not just because he was helping you.

Grabbing a couple patters and some yarn, Renjun throws it into the cart you’re pushing. Standing before the needles he looks around. “I have no idea what the best needle for a beginner would be.” 

You blink, who else would know? “What needle did you start with?” 

“My grandma gave it to me, I don’t know the millimeters on it or anything.” He shrugs, grabbing the needle set that looks most like his. 

You just agree, not like you had a choice anyways. About fifteen minutes later, you two push the cart into the lengthy line. Renjun had grabbed a few things for himself as well, saying he could never have too much yarn. You started conversing about which pattern to try first when his phone rings. 

He shoots you an excuse me, and pulls out his phone, groaning at the sight before answering it. The person on the other end speaks frantically as Renjun tries to keep up with his reponses. “Hello? What? No-”

He’s cut off by the voice on the other side loudly shouting. “Fine! I don’t care, I’m just with Yn so...No! You’re disgusting.”

You watch as he hangs up abruptly, pushing his phone back into his pocket as he sighs. “It was Donghyuck.”

“Who?” 

“Haechan,” Renjun clarifies but watches as you still look confused. “Lee Haechan.” 

Though your expression remains as you shrug. “Never heard of him.”

“Well,” Renjun starts but waves himself off. “Doesn’t matter, he was calling saying he had a girl over. He’s my roommate, and hes loud.”

You laugh a little. “Try living with Karina.”

“No,” He shakes his head. “Haechan is like living with fifteen Karinas, but they’re all men, and they’re all really horny.”

“Ew?!” You manage, watching how Renjun was dead serious as you laugh at his expense. 

“They’re all messy too!”

Before you can comment back, the two of you make your way to an open register as the number is called. The man bags your things and you head out, excited to finally start this intimidating hobby you were interested in.

“So to my place then?” You ask, assuming this Haechan wouldn’t want you around if he’s boning someone. Renjun just groans, “But my patterns are at my place, I wanted to work on one of my projects.”

You don’t know what to say. “We can go pick them up?”

“Then sneak out and hope his fuck buddy doesn’t hear us?” Renjun continues, but the more he thinks about, the more he thinks he can do it. It couldn't be that bad anyways, right? Then he's reminded of his whole mission today. “I’m crocheting a bunny and I really need those patterns.” 

You wait for him to continue as he looks like he has more to say. So you offer a simple, “Cute.”

“It’s for a girl,” He resumes, his face heating up slightly as he thinks of her. “I really wanted to finish it as soon as possible, so I could ask her to be my girlfriend. Bunnies are her favorite animal.” 

“Awe!” You beam, that was such a cute gesture. Your heart fluttered for something as adorable as that. “Renjun, that’s so sweet!”

“Really? Funny coming from the romance hater.”

You roll your eyes as he kills the mood. You didn’t exactly hate it, it was just something that left you scarred. Something you didn’t care for much anymore. Though, sometimes you can’t suppress the little hopeless romantic in the back of your mind. Renjun doesn’t have to know all that though. “I don’t hate romance, I just find it rather trivial.” 

“I find you rather trivial.” Renjun remarks back sarcastically and you can’t help but laugh at how stupid he is. He fake winces as you hit him on the shoulder. 

“Let’s get you those patterns loverboy!”

“Don’t call me-” But you slam your car door closed before he can continue. You just wait for him to slide into your passangers seat, unamused expression still present on his face.

He grabs your phone as you hand it to him and inputs his address. “Is this the first time you’ve gone to a guys house?”

“Very funny.” You scoff, facing the road. “I’ll have you know I’ve been to a guys house before.”

“That’s surprising.”

You fight the urge to playfully (kinda) hit him on his arm again. Opting instead to turn up your radio and make the ride without anymore stabs at your love life.

It doesn’t take long for you to arrive there. Renjun was really helpful with directions and where to park, so now all that was left was getting the stuff.

“You want me to go in alone?” Renjun asks, like he can’t believe the girl he’s known for a week doesn’t want to enter his apartment with him. You knew Renjun sure, but you had watched too many crime shows to not be a little cautious.

“Why wouldn’t you?” You ask, genuinely as he frowns.

“Just come grab them with me, I need another set of hands for my yarn too!” Renjun pleads as he continues to beg, you sighing as you give in.

“Fine!” And you turn your car off as you follow behind him slowly. You wish you had more resilience but you just wanted to get back into the warm confines of your room so, who could blame you? You watch as Renjun unlocks his apartment and listens in as he’s met with silence.

“That’s weird-“ Renjun starts but is cut off by a loud moan. You mentally beat yourself up for agreeing to enter with him.

“If I have to hear it, so do you.” Renjun continues as he enters his apartment further, and you just stand still. How could he so calm about this? You weren't a prude or anything, but you'd think you'd die of embarrassment if you came home to your roommate moaning up a storm. “Well come on, the yarns in my room!”

You just stand in disbelief, before hastily walking behind him. You couldn’t believe this. He goes to what you assume is his room and fumbled with the door, only to realize it’s locked.

“Is this not your room?” You tease, eyebrow raising. He gives you a glare as he tries to open his door again, still not budging.

“Of course this is my room. How big of an idiot do you think I am?” Renjun shoots back, and you almost laugh with how quick he is.

“Well..” You pretend to think and he looks halfway offended.

“I don’t remember leaving it locked when," He changes the subject as he trails. A look of realization on his face. "Oh my god.”

“What?” You asked, sure something was dawning on Renjun, but you were lost. He basically freezes in place as he stares at his door knob and the tips of his ears turn red.

You’re both derailed by another chorus of moans striking the air, but this time it’s apparent who’s room they’re coming from. It’s Renjun’s.

“You freaks!” Renjun screams, pounding on the door. “Open this damn door Haechan or I will pull it off the hinges and throw it at your big ass head!”

Once again, you’re quiet in disbelief. Almost managing to stuffer a soft “What?”

“It’s a kink he has. Fucking idiot does this to me even though I told him to stop!" Renjun shouts the last part so that his friend can hear, though he's met with no response. He bangs on the door again, "You're gonna pay for this!"

A laugh comes from inside his room as, who you assume to be Haechan, teases him. "Yeah right, what're you gonna do? Fuck that Yn girl on my bed?"

"You two are fucking on my bed?!" Renjun shrieks, ignoring the dig Haechan took at you. Geez, he sounded like a complete dickhead.

"What? You thought we were on the floor?" Haechan responds, the girl trying, yet failing, to stifle her moans.

"Oh my god, this is the worst day of my life." You whisper, jaw slacked.

"Of your life?!" Renjun yelps, staring blankly at his door. "I'm going to need all new sheets."

You tug on his arm, wanting to sprint out of there. "Lets just go, you can make that bunny another day."

"I'm going to kill him." Renjun groans, pulling back slightly before giving up and treading out of his apartment. You just keep your mouth closed as Renjun's face sours.

"Wanna sleep on my couch?" You offer, knowing you'd want someone to do the same if that had just happened. "I know you're going to have to like.. burn those covers."

"If it's not a big deal," Renjun trails, thinking about it. "Yeah I would."

"Fun!" You clap your hands. "We can have a sleepover! I can do your nails and show you my favorite movie-"

"Please shut up already." He rolls his eyes as he pushes you out of the elevators towards your car as you giggle. "This is going to be a long night."

..

About ten blocks away lays Na Jaemin, on his couch as he stares at his phone, awaiting another text from Chaewon. The two have been talking a lot recently, albeit on a friendly level, but he's spoken to her enough to know he's definitely whipped.

Jeno, his roommate, walks into the room as he stays glued to his own device. Although he's in a Chaewon induced haze of love, Jaemin notices that odd behavior. Jeno isn't one to be on his phone like that, so what was so interesting? "Who are you texting?"

"Karina." The other responds, eyes not leaving his phone for a second as he takes a seat on the couch opposite of Jaemin.

"Seriously?" Jaemin begins, and Jeno rolls his eyes, knowing what the other is implying. Jaemin sits up slightly, "She's off limits."

"Yeah and so is Chaewon," Jeno pauses, giving the other a dirty look. "But that isn't stopping you."

Jaemin wants to launch the nearest pillow in Jeno's face. "I actually like Chae-"

Jeno interrupts him before he can continue proclaiming his love. "Chill out, it's not even like that. Karina's just texting me about Renjun."

"She's into Renjun?!"

"No!" Jeno responds, annoyed. "He's just crashing on her couch."

"Boring." Jaemin says, refreshing his DM's to see if he missed a reply from his crush yet. Surprise surprise, he didn't. "I'm never going to get a chance with Chaewon, am I?"

Jeno shrugs, finally placing his phone down as he gets to grab a bottled water from the fridge. "There are other girls."

"She isn't just some girl," Jaemin responds, sincere in his words. "I really like her, man."

"Well then do something about it."

And Jaemin just might have to.

THREE, THEY DON'T MIND THEIR BUSINESS.

"So you really did bone?" Lee Haechan stands against your door as you fight the urge to slam it in his face. Your face is showing clear signs of displeasure at this stranger standing at your front door, but if he noticed, he sure wasn't doing anything to brighten your mood. But then again, he's just a guy, what more did you expect from him?

"It's really none of your business." You declare, not backing down. If he wanted an argument, then who were you to refuse?

"Whatever, Renjun will fuck anything that walks." And that statement sounds so funny coming out of the mouth of someone who'll actually fuck anything, according to Renjun. Who was he to slutshame anyways?

"What? Are you self projecting right now?"

Haechan opens his mouth to speak again but you stop him with a glare and a wave of your hand. "Let me just go wake Renjun so you can get off my damn property."

Leaving Haechan at your front door, you shake Renjun awake by his shoulders as he lays. He lays as still as a rock, not reacting to your small "Wake up, Haechan's here to take you home."

Renjun groans in response, stretching as he mutters out a "Tell him to fuck off."

"Good luck with that." You smirk, holding back a laugh. "Don't forget you have to spray your room for bed bugs later."

"You're not funny." Renjun shoots back but ironically lets out a laugh. He's still half asleep as he lazily makes his way to your front door. Yet, upon spotting Haechan, he seems to be wide awake.

"What the hell are you even doing here?!" Renjun all but shouts, "I should beat your ass right here for that stunt you pulled!"

"Stunt?! I was pleasing a girl, something you would know nothing about! Especially if Yn's attitude is any indicator, you must be a bad lay." Haechan cackles, yet the two of you remain anything but amused.

"If you actually payed attention to your friend, you might know he actually has someone he likes." You step in, tired of the comments. "And it's not me."

"So? Doesn't mean he can't sleep with someone else." Haechan furrows his brows at your statement. His eyes widen upon realization of what you're saying. "Awe, you're so naive to think that. It's kind of cute honestly."

"Get out." You say through gritted teeth. Haechan backs up and you watch Renjun step out of your apartment, knowing he had to leave too if you wanted any peace in your own place. "Renjun, you can-"

"No I'd better go, I have to knock this one's head against the wall." He nods, promptly grabbing Haechan by the ear as the other protests. Dragging him away as he leans down, letting out a string of ow's in his wake. You just watch, he deserved it anyways.

..

"Why have I been seeing Lee Haechan everywhere?!" You exhale, stabbing a fork into your food. You and your friends were having lunch outside on a picnic table on campus, shaded by the strong oak tree's nearby. It's such a beautiful day, but the proximity of an unwanted face makes your mood dampen.

Karina chews her food. "You sure you're not imagining him?"

You put your fork down. "If I was imaging someone, it'd be like.. Song Kang or someone hot! Haechan is like a rodent!"

"Rodent is a little harsh, no?" Yeji scrunches her nose, picking something off of Karina's plate. "He seems nice enough."

"Nice?!" You groan, looking to Karina. "Help me out here."

Karina just shrugs. "I haven't met him."

"And yet he's literally everywhere." You stare blankly at the open grass next to you. There sits Haechan, accompanied by Mark Lee and a boy you don't recognize. They're talking to girls, smiling as Haechan puts his full flirting charms to those poor victims. You pity them.

"Jaemin say's he's funny." Chaewon interjects, like Jaemin's opinion was worth a damn in your book.

Still you vocalize. "Funny doesn't mean he's a good person."

"I just don't get why you hate him so much." Yeji speaks, pointing her spoon at you as she chews.

You roll your eyes before crossing your arms. "If you heard the way he spoke to me, you'd hate him too."

"I don't doubt it." Karina admits, taking a sip from her water bottle. "But I also just think you're beginning to give him way too much attention."

"What?! How?! First, he violates Renjun's bed and makes us listen to those moans. Then, he shows up to my house like a maniac the next morning and then starts insisting we slept together, like it even mattered!" You scoff, the girls listening to your rant. "But not before making several inappropriate comments about me!"

"Since when did you care what a man had to say?" Yeji raises her brows as she awaits your response. She was somewhat right, you usually never gave a man this time of day over simple remarks. But Haechan just managed to get under your skin far more than anyone ever had.

Chaewon jumps in before you can formulate a response back though. Keeping her voice low, as he leans in a hushed tone. "So did you sleep with Renjun?"

"Chaewon!"

"I was just asking-"

"Wait?" Yeji stops, putting her hands down on the table. "Since when are we allowed to sleep with people?"

"What do you mean?" Karina looks at her. "I've had hookups since the agreement, I thought it was just serious relationships out of the question."

"Oh my god. I could've been fucking Changmin from creative writing class, this entire time?!" Yeji asks, mouth agape as she mourns a missed opportunity.

"Yes.." Chaewon trails. "Though, I don't see why you'd want to."

"Hey!" Yeji defends and the two begin bickering. They always had the opposite type in boys, never agreeing on a males attractiveness. So it was safe to say you were used to the silly little arguments.

Chaewon say's something about his short hair while Yeji starts to point out how the other likes 'stick skinny' boys. This then prompts Chaewon to go on a tirade about how 'muscles don't matter."

You're so wrapped up in the two's words that you fail to notice approaching figures in the corner. That is until the girls still and Karina greets, "Hey Mark."

Your head whips around and low and behold, there standing (a little awkwardly) is Mark Lee. You could've sworn just ten seconds ago he was across the field, curse you letting your guard down.

Honestly, Mark isn't all that bad, its the two he's brought with him that are trouble. And as Haechan flashes you a smirk, you really wish they would've stayed across that damn grass.

"Jungwoo! I haven't seen you in a while." Yeji says, the aforementioned boy rubbing his neck in embarrassment.

"I dropped the class we had together." The guy you've learned is named Jungwoo, responds. "I'm an engineering major now."

"No need for British literature there, huh?" Your friend responds back as Jungwoo laughs.

Yet you can't bring yourself to laugh at anything, given how Haechan had made himself comfortable at the table, choosing the seat right in front of you. Great. Haechan figured that this way, he can force you to stare at him, even if it's just for a little bit. Yet, you're looking anywhere but at him right now.

"How's Renjun, baby?" He breaks the silence, and you move to look him in the eyes, a scowl present on your face. You know he's not talking to you like that.

You've never wanted to punch someone so badly. "Doesn't he live with you? And don't call me that."

"Call you what? Baby?" There he goes again.

You really didn't want to deal with this right now, especially since it's like the male had been following you lately. You were being honest, you had truly been seeing him everywhere. The last thing you wanted was any type of interaction with him after finding him in all your favorite spots. The bench outside your building. He was there. The table you sit at in the dining hall. He was there. The craft store you went to with Renjun. Ding ding ding, you guessed it! He was there.

Moving to stand up, you grab the attention of the others. Karina looks at you quizzically. "Where are you going?"

"Away from Haechan." You speak honestly, closing the water bottle you were drinking from.

Yeji turns to you. "What, why? Mark was just inviting us to a party!"

"I'm tired." You say, as politely as you can, thinking of any excuse to not go to this party. You didn't mind parties, they were okay sometimes, but right now you just really wanted to be out of Haechan's general vicinity.

Chaewon peeks behind Yeji. "Come on, why not? Jaemin texted me that he'd drive us home! It could be fun, we could get wasted!"

Yes, because your ideal Friday night involved getting wasted and throwing up so hard you can't remember your own name. That was exactly your scene. "No thanks, I'm gonna sit this one out."

Yeji stands with you. "Everyone's gonna be there! It could be fun!"

They were persistent, as they were persuasive.

"Ok, fine." You really need to learn to stand your ground a little harder.

So that was how you found yourself, a couple hours later, back in the company of the one you swore you despised. It was inevitable that Haechan would be present, this was Mark's party after all. From what you've gathered, the two were close as well as the other boys your friends knew.

Jeno and Jaemin were here, Jaemin sober as he promised while he spoke to Chaewon, and Jeno? Well, if him and Karina making out on the kitchen counter was indication, not so much. Renjun just snickered at that, "That's gross."

You nod in agreement, opting to save your poor eyes from viewing anymore. Renjun is quick to take notice of the lack of drink in your hand though. "You're not drinking? Again?"

"Don't feel like having a hangover tomorrow."

"I'm starting to think you're a party pooper."

"Think?" You pause, as you make eye contact. "You know very well that I'm a party pooper."

"I didn't want to have to say it!"

"Say what?" A voice speaks as you instantly recognize who it is. He's slinging his arms over you and Renjun's shoulders, you being quick to brush it off.

"Can you leave me alone?"

"Why? So you can chat up Renjun? I'm protecting him."

"Only thing Renjun needs protection from is you."

Haechan raises a brow at that. "At least I know how to have a good time, misses sober."

You cringe at his newfound nickname for you. "Get lost."

"Only if you get loose."

That was by far, the weirdest thing a guy has ever said to you at a party. And trust me, you've been told many things at parties before. "Is that a challenge?"

"Depends, you up to it?" Haechan smirks that stupid grin of his.

Renjun's quick to pull on your arm, pulling you back to reality. "You don't have to if you don't want to."

"Okay Lee," You ignore the boy beside you. "I'll bite."

"Save that for the bedroom princess."

You and Renjun both look disgusted at that. "Fuck off, you know what I meant. Meet me at the beer pong table, and we'll see who really gets loose."

It only takes an hour and half for you to regret this weird thing you and Haechan had going. It consisted of matching shots with him, as well as chugging as many beers as he did. You didn't even like beer that much, it was just the competitiveness flowing in you that made you continue to down the fuzzy liquid. You could keep up, you had to, you had to make this idiot eat his words.

But a little voice kept etching in the back of your head, why did you care so much? You barely knew this guy, you didn't even know the simplist thing about him, like his major or favorite color.

Well, then again, you didn't need to know all that to know you wanted to beat him in this imaginary game you're playing. No rules at all, just drinking and drinking, a competition to see who could hold their alcohol, and maybe you were losing.

Stumbling to take a seat on a.. bean bag? You get engulfed as you sink in, mind as heavy as your limbs feel. You barely able to lift your head to look around the room, taking note of a few familiar faces here and there. Chaewon and Yeji are dancing in the crowd, Jaemin and Renjun are cashing out on bets of who'd get the drunkest tonight, and Karina and Jeno are nowhere to be found. Amazing, now you probably couldn't go home. Hopefully you could just crash at Chaewon's.

"Feeling it yet?" Haechan slurs into your ear as he sits on the beanbag to your right. He's well past the point of drunk, likely slightly worse than you, seeing as he was drinking before you had arrived.

"Nope." You lie, barely able to make eye contact with him. Why was it so hot in here? Were you sweating?

Haechan quirks his head to the side. "Liarrr."

You shift your eyes. "You're more wasted than me."

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Alright you win." Haechan mumbles, throwing his head back into the seat. "Wanna get out of here?"

"Ew!" You reject, still having half a brain.

"Not like that," He says, words mushing together, and you can tell hes being honest. "Let's go swing on the swing set."

"Mark has a swing set?!" You sit up, practically yelling like it was the greatest discovery ever made.

He matches your energy. "The neighbors do! I'll even push you on it."

You just nod rapidly as you grab his hand and lead him off the bean bag, eyes following curiously as Yeji wonders why the hell you're holding Haechan's hand in yours. You definitely wouldn't remember this tomorrow.

Haechan pushes the patio door open, you two spotting the playground that must've been from years ago. Yet, this didn't detour you as you raced to it, barely able to keep up with the boy beside you.

Not because he was fast, but because you could barely stay on your own two feet without falling over. Haechan helps though, a steady grip on you as he helps you onto the swing.

"Woah!" You yelp, as you almost fall off of it, forgetting to grab the sides.

Haechan's quick to stop you and laughs as you can barely keep your head up. "You're in another world."

You lift your face up slightly, "Yeah? Then you're on another planet."

"Another planet is closer than another world!"

"Aren't they the same thing?"

Haechan's silent for a minute as he thinks. "I don't know."

You laugh, way too loud for your liking, but what did it matter? It was just you and Haechan here, and you could care less what he thought. "You know, you're cooler when you're drunk."

It's quiet for a beat before Haechan puts his hand on his heart, pretending to wince out in pain. "I'm cool all the time"

"Nuh uh," You argue back, childishly. "When we got here, the first thing you did was make fun of me! Then you dragged me into this."

"It's a game! It's fun!" He waves his hands around.

It's truly funny how things worked. A week ago, you didn't even know who Lee Haechan was. And an hour ago, you wouldn't have been caught dead with him alone. Yet, here you were, laughing as you try to keep your grip on the swing as he pushes you. Almost falling off balance a few times, but manages to keep himself up.

The breeze blows from behind you, almost giving you goosebumps with a lack of a jacket. Your mind vaguely begins to wonder what time it was, the pitch blackness of the neighborhood (Minus a few streetlights) throwing you off.

"You're more fun when you drink too." Haechan yells, even though you're directly in front of him. "Not pushing me away and running, or slamming doors in my face!"

"You deserved that!" You giggle as he stops pushing you, sitting on the swing next to you to take a break.

He stares at the stars for a few minutes before he looks at you. You look so cute, even in such dull lighting. Haechan leans in a little closer, to where you can almost smell the alcohol on his breath. "You look really pretty."

You can't help the way your heart quickens, but you shake your head, deducing it to be all the drinks in your system. Sober you would never react this way to Lee Haechan. The man of your nightmares.

Or so you told yourself.

You lean in a bit further, his eyes never leaving yours. "I know."

Haechan's taken aback but before he can reply, his name's being shouted across the back. "Haechan! Are you out here?"

"No!" Haechan yells in response, watching as the shadow of a person approaches them, leaves crunching beneath their feet.

Mark's face falls in relief as he notices you with Haechan. "Man we've been looking everywhere for you. Karina said she couldn't find Yn either."

You stand up from the swing, leaving Haechan sitting by himself. "I should be getting home."

Mark just looks between you two, confusion across his face. Since when had you gotten close with Haechan? He could've sworn you two were arguing earlier, even when you arrived at the party. Was he missing something? "Jaemin will drive you."

"I can drive her." Haechan says, ironically as he nearly tumbles over himself attempting to get on his feet again. He fishes his keys from his pocket and waves them around as Mark snatches them from his grip.

"You're not driving anywhere." Mark rolls his eyes. "Renjun's taking you home too."

And like a dad caring for his children, he leads you both back inside, careful not to let Haechan run off to who knows where. (He had a tendency of doing that.)

"But it's not even midnight!" Haechan protests, with his head down.

"It's two in the morning!" Mark corrects as he shakes his head, grabbing Haechan by the arm. Your eyes widen, was it really that late already? Time flew by weirdly fast with Haechan. Not that you enjoyed it or anything, must've just been the alcohol. Yeah, definitely.

"But I don't wanna leave her." Haechan says, prying himself off of Mark and onto you. Clinging to you like you were best friends. You, not knowing better in your state, hug him back.

"You two look like idiots." Mark comments, trying to separate you guys, the both of you telling him to stop. Your grip on each other tightening with every tug.

"Wait!" Yeji catches up to you, smirking as she pulls her phone out. "Let me take a picture first."

You just hum, drunkenly posing for the photo as Haechan throws a peace sign up. The two of you with stupid smiles on your faces. Idiots, that would be the correct thing to say about you guys now.

"Okay," Renjun approaches, eyes heavy as he just wants to go to sleep right about now. He tries to pull the other off of you, but you tighten your grip as well. "Haechan, let's go!"

He shakes his head and Renjun just about gives up as he throws his hands in the air. "Find your own way home."

Haechan nuzzles into you for about two more minutes before he registers what Renjun said. "Oh no! Renjun's leaving me!"

You just nod and Haechan lets go of you, running towards the front door as he yells a small goodbye to you. You yell back across the house, and he shoots you a thumbs up as he almost trips over the steps leading outside.

You pout slightly as you watch him go, your source of warmth being gone now. Oh well, you start looking around for your roommate, but you spot Jeno in the kitchen alone without her. Where the hell did she go? Didn't matter, you were just going to relax on the couch now.

It would be okay to close your eyes for a minute right?

Well, you closed your eyes for a bit longer than a minute. In fact, when you opened them next, there was sunlight shining through the living room windows.

The headache hits you first, feeling like you had been ran over as your whole body was sore. Likely from the amount of dancing and running you had done. You even vaguely recall going outside. To swing? With Haechan?

You sit up, a little fast for your head, and look around. You spot Chaewon and Karina on the couch across from you, legs intermingled as they hugged, they must've been wasted when they went to sleep too. You can see Yeji's jacket still on the couch, registering the sound of a toilet flushing.

Why was it so loud? You throw your head back on the couch as Yeji enters the living room. "You're up." She whispers, sitting down on the love seat next to you.

"Yeah, where are we?" You groan back.

"Mark's house." She answers back, watching your facial expressions. "Do you really not remember?"

"No." You rub your eyes, the headache still present.

"So you definitely shouldn't check your phone." Yeji laughs, picking your phone up from the ground and throwing it in your lap.

You place your phone beside you. "Why are we at Mark's house?"

Yeji leans back. "Jaemin ended up getting too drunk to drive us. Mark offered to call us an uber but he couldn't find his phone. He tried to find Renjun too but he had already left. Then Mark just gave up and went to bed. Jaemin and Jeno are asleep in the other room."

You barely even process all of that as you just raise your eyebrows , picking up your device. And to your surprise, its full of notifications, yet all from one app.

There, laying on your Instagram dashboard, is a photo of you and a clearly drunk Haechan. He's leaning into your face, the sides of your faces pressed together inside the small frame. He's smiling that stupid little smirk and you're grinning widely. To make matters worse, its accumulated the most likes you've ever seen on your page. There's tons of comments too, most stating how cute you two are. The others commenting that they didn't even think you knew each other. There were a few random ones too, talking about couple goals and how you made the explore page. What?!

Your finger hovers over the button to delete the post, but it is a rather cute picture. Despite the fact that you were going to kill whoever posted it on your page, maybe you'd keep it.

"Who the hell posted me and Haechan?!" You speak, not caring for the volume you were speaking at. It was in fact ten already, hopefully no one would mind too much.

Yeji shushes you, "I don't know-"

"It was Jaemin." Chaewon nods, shifting to get Karina off of her, though the latter doesn't move a bit. But when had Chaewon even woken up?

Your eyes widen, getting up as you're blinded by the need to cuss Jaemin out. Entering the first room you come across, you spot Mark asleep in his bed, Jaemin and Jeno on the floor.

You lean down and smack Jaemin, waking him up as he looks startled. "Mom?"

"No!?" You yell, shaking him by his shoulders. "Why did you post that photo?"

"What photo?"

"Motherfu-"

"He was drunk." Mark sits up, rubbing his eyes, making you feel slightly guilty for waking him too. "Why don't you just delete it?"

"It has a few thousand likes already!"

"You're famous?"

You shake your head. "No, but this means all of his fangirls are going to be at my door this morning after our post made the explore page."

"So what you're saying is," Jaemin pauses, looking at you. "I made you famous? You should be thanking me."

"What the fuck?" You blurt out, "I'm going to strangle you."

Jaemins eyes grow big as you reach towards him, he struggles to avoid your hands. "I just thought it was a cute picture! You guys looked so friendly!"

"Well we're not! I'm not even friends with him!"

"You are after last night." Mark comments, looking around for Jeno's shirt. You had been so distracted that you didn't even notice the half naked boy across the room as he slept. Then you realize Mark's words, you two were friendly last night? You'd rather dive into a dumpster than hang out with Haechan. Well, apparently not?

"I'm going home." You give up. "Sorry for sleeping on your couch Mark."

The latter just shrugs. "Anytime, I don't mind."

What a weird guy.

You locate your keys in a bowl on the kitchen table, promptly placed there with many others after Jaemin had confiscated all your keys. You look over to Karina on the couch and decide you don't want to be the one to wake her, she was usually grumpy when hungover. Eh, Jeno can drive her home.

After grabbing your jacket and making your way to where your car sits, you gape in horror. "Someone vomited on my car?!"

FOUR, THEY CONFUSE BEING FRIENDLY FOR FLIRTING.

This one was one you had seen time and time again. You've experienced it first hand, as well as had to swoop in and save your friends from it. It always goes the same, every time. A boy approaches you, usually meeting for the first time, and takes your friendliness as a sign of being interested.

Like the time Chaewon had to awkwardly explain to the worker at the Van's store that she wasn't giving him her phone number, she just wanted him to look up her loyalty account for points. To which he had insisted that she was smiling at him so much, how could he not think she wanted to give him her number?

Or when Karina and you were at Starbucks and she held the door open for a guy to walk in. He then immediately turned around and asked her for her Instagram so they could talk. Then when she said she wasn't interested, he walked away angrily.

Moral of the story: Men always think you're hitting on them just because you're being nice.

More than half of the time, they're wrong.

This is why you're not friendly.

However, your judgement seems to be impaired when you're drunk. Considering how your attitude with Lee Haechan had died down, he took it as a sign of a new bestfriend. And even worse, he thinks he can flirt with you.

He's even managed to convince himself that you're desperately in love with him, teasing you every time he sees you.

Karina thinks it's hilarious as you complain to her, "He's just naturally flirty."

You roll your eyes. "He thinks I'm in love with him!"

"Maybe you are." She responds and you don a repulsed look on your face.

"Me? In love with Lee Haechan? Never."

"Your adamance on not being in love with him is suspicious."

"How?!" You ask as you continue to finish off the last of the bows that you were crocheting for Renjun's bunny. He had decided last minute that he wanted the bunny to have cute accessories, so he had set you up to the task as a repayment for teaching you how to crochet at all.

"Well for one, you've been spending an awful lot of time with each other." She points out and you hate that she's right. These past few weeks since the party, they boy has been glued to your hip.

"Not voluntarily. He follows me everywhere!" You respond.

"You go to his apartment!"

"Because Renjun lives there." You reason, and it was true. Renjun was a friend, and you were learning something from him. Why wouldn't you be at his apartment? "I don't go to see Haechan!"

"Are you sure?" Karina quirks a brow and you look at her in disgust.

"Yes I'm sure."

"Okay, so what about you leaving that post up?"

"What post?" You feign, knowing full well what she was referring to.

"You're insufferable." She replies. "And in love with Lee Haechan."

You almost throw the needle at her. "Nope. Nuh uh, not in love with him."

"So why is he coming over right now."

"We're going to help Renjun ask his crush out, remember?"

She shakes her head. "I zone you out sometimes."

You scoff. "Worst roommate ever."

"Yeah yeah, heard it all before." She giggles as she continues scrolling through her phone. The door bell rings though, and she decides to do you one and get the door while you put your shoes on.

You immediately hear the voices of the boys as soon as the door opens, both greeting Karina as they enter.

You ignore the small talk though, "How are we feeling, Renjun?"

"Nervous." He responds, deadpanning. He wipes his palms on his jeans, sweaty and all clammy.

"You'll be fine!" You assure him. "She's like in love with you."

"Yup," Haechan agrees. "Just like how Yn is in love with me!"

"Shut up!"

"You didn't even deny it!"

"Gross," Renjun interrupts. "This is about me right now, can we go back to focusing on me?!"

"Yeah, sorry." You respond, knowing Renjun was worried out of his mind. It's all for no reason though, you know his crush returns his feelings. There's nothing to worry about, he shouldn't be so worried.

But, as you thought, he didn't listen to a single thing you said. He had barely even managed to calm his heart when you dropped him off at the restaurant he had invited her to. You and Haechan shoot him a thumbs up, the other muttering some words of encouragement to him, that apparently made him all the more nervous, but at least he was trying.

You remind Renjun to call you when you needed to pick him up, wishing him the best of luck. Though, as Haechan commented, hopefully his crush would be taking him home after this.

You just hit him in his shoulder.

Unfortunately, you never thought about the aftermath of this situation. It seemed normal on paper, two of Renjun's good friends drop him off for a gut wrenching date, offering their support.

Now what? Were you two just supposed to wait around? Should you go back to their apartment? Or should you drop Haechan off and just go home? You underestimated what you were getting yourself into here.

"So?" The male speaks before you can, raising his brows at you. "Got any confessions of your own?"

"Here's one, I think you're annoying."

"See, I already knew that. Not much of a confession." He sticks his tongue out, turning to face you as you keep your eyes on the road. You're quiet as he speaks again. "Well I actually have a confession, if you'd like to hear it."

"I don't, Haechan."

He rolls his eyes as he moves on. "Enough with the Haechan! Call me Donghyuck, like my friends do."

"We're not friends." You maintain, raising your brows.

"Yes we are! You just won't admit it!" He whines, not taking his eyes off you of you. "Doesn't matter, I'm still going to confess."

"Go on." You say, a hint of amusement in your tone. You were actually kind of curious on what he wanted to say.

"I want to take you on a date."

You scoff, of course that was it. "Lot's of other guys want to take me on dates."

"I'm not other guys!" He defends, whining in your ear.

"You're right." You begin, turning to face him back. "You're worse."

He lets out a wail at that. "Look, it doesn't have to be a fancy date or anything! Just let me buy you dinner, or take you to Dave & Busters!"

"Dave & Busters?!" You laugh, did he really take girls there? Not that you minded it but, this was Haechan we were talking about. You didn't take him as the type to take a girl out there on a first date. Huh, the more you know.

"Please," He puts his hands together, with pleading eyes. "Pretty please."

It sounded fun, that you'd admit. But you didn't really want to spend endless energy, and money, trying to win rigged arcade games and claw machines. "How about this? You buy me a pizza and a cinnamon roll from the mall food court and I'll let you think it's a date."

"Then it's a date!" He bats his eyes, smiling ear to ear.

..

It's been three hours. Three hours of radio silence from you and Haechan. Renjun figures he'll just send a bomb to your house. Nice and prettily wrapped with a bow, noted that it's from him. In this scenario, Haechan is with you as well, and you two just get blown up. To smithereens. Yes, that was a perfect scenario.

Renjun's not even in a bad mood, in fact, he's quite overjoyed that his confession was returned. His (Now) girlfriend beaming as she hugged the knitted animal, saying how Renjun was so romantic and how she felt the same way. He even got to kiss her!

However, this now brings him to an empty apartment, having taken the bus with her so he could walk her home safely. He had thought about just calling you to let you know, but he figured you'd answer later.

Now though, he feels really weird. His roommate is usually blowing up his phone, no matter the situation, yet he hasn't heard a word from him all day. So to say this was odd, was an understatement.

He's barely left to think for long before Haechan literally comes barreling through the door, you following right behind him.

You're both bickering playfully about something, you talking with your hands as Haechan tries to speak louder than you. "I told you that you were going to lose!"

"You cheated!"

Neither of you even greet Renjun, it's like he's not even there, though he's literally standing right in the kitchen. And Renjun can't say he approves of the sight.

You continue on talking. "You're just a sore loser!"

"You were taking basketballs from my side!"

"Well hey to you too," Renjun drags, waving his arm sarcastically. "I'm here, if you hadn't noticed."

"Oh my god, Renjun!" You say, grabbing him by his shoulders. "How did it go? I'm so sorry, this idiot made us go to Dave & Busters after the mall! Then, my phone died and Hyuck left his here and-"

Renjun raises a hand to stop you, getting straight to the point. Trying to hide by how he was slightly caught off guard by you and his friend spending so long together, alone. "I'm fine, she accepted my confession. We're dating now."

You squeal. "Renjun has a girlfriend! Hyuck, Renjun has a girlfriend!"

"Maybe you can stop being so moody all the time now!" Haechan pokes, squeezing the other in a hug. "I'm so proud of you, never thought you'd do it!"

"Well, I believed in you!"

Renjun smiles, "That's great. Actually, can I talk to you for a minute?"

You look confused, realizing that Renjun's looking at you. "Sure, walk me out to my car?"

He nods and Haechan wraps his arms around you, to which you push him off. "Go shower!"

"Aye aye, captain!" He salutes, causing you to giggle, before waving bye to you as Renjun waits. "Text me when you get home!"

You shoot him a thumbs up and turn to head out the door, Renjun following behind you eagerly. You wondered what he was going to talk to you about. Its funny, you felt like a child awaiting a scolding, just a tad bit scared.

He walks slowly next to you for a couple seconds as he closes his door, walking you to his complexes elevator. He looks a little nervous, opting to stare at his shoes as he speaks. "I"m going to ask you something, and I need you to be honest."

"Okay." You answer, a little warily. He was freaking you out with how formal he was being.

"Do you like Haechan?"

You open your mouth. "As a friend, yeah."

He shakes his head. "No, I mean, as in do you have a thing for him?"

"Why would you think that?"

"For starters, you called him Hyuck, twice. And then, you two spent three hours on a date, apparently forgetting about everyone else."

"It wasn't a date."

"Listen to me, he takes all his flings to Dave & Busters, okay? That's kind of his thing, I think it's weird personally, but it's tradition since he did it with his first one." He stops as he tries to figure out how to word things.

You just stare back blankly. Of course you didn't think it was special, he was simply taking you to hang out. It wasn't a date so why wouldn't he take you there?

"I want to know because, I used to be really good friends with this girl a while back. Everything was cool until Haechan got his hands on her, then it turned into this whole mess, and she ended up hating me for it. All because she had tried to get serious with him, and he just hated the thought of tied down."

You lean against the elevator wall. "But why-"

"I'm telling you this because I value our friendship and I don't want you to get hurt. Haechan's my friend, yes, but hes a really shitty guy to be with. I don't want to lose you too, just take this as a warning."

You nod calmly, but your stomach is turning. "Thanks anyways, but I don't like him like that, we're just being friendly."

You were lying straight through your teeth, even if you didn't know it yet.

FIVE, THEY'RE EASY TO FALL IN LOVE WITH?

You hadn't seen, spoken to, or thought of Haechan in a week. (The last one might be a lie, but what is that they say? Fake it 'till you make it?) But you decided to heed your friends warning, maybe you were getting too attached. Goodness knows you can be the type to get too comfortable with someone, not expecting to have the rug pulled out from under you. At least this way you were prepared, right?

What you couldn't avoid, unfortunately, was your friends pestering you about the sudden disconnection from the male. Apparently, Jeno had spread word about it to Karina, and it just fueled her theories.

She had pestered you about six different times this week alone as to why you had been dodging Haechan. You'd always just shrug and say you were busy, but she wasn't buying it. The girl lived with you, she knew something was up.

You had spent less time with Renjun as well, only meeting once at a cafe for lunch, but that could just be attributed to his newly attained girlfriend as well. So you used that as your main excuse for not swinging by the apartment.

Haechan had no idea what he had done, why the radio silence all of a sudden? Had he made you uncomfortable? Did you really not want to go to Dave & Busters? Was something wrong?

Had you found out?

No, threre is no way you could've found out. Jaemin's plan was foolproof, and Jeno was airtight, nothing was going to slip. At least, that was what he hoped.

You're currently sat in Yeji's room, Karina and Chaewon having lost a game of who had to go buy the food. (You had all played rock, paper, scissors for it.)

So the two of you sit cross legged on the floor, sliding beads onto bracelets. Sure, people might deem this a little childish to do at your grown age, but you could truly care less. It was a fun little thing and all of you got to have matching ones, like middle school kids.

Yeji hands you a bucket of letter beads, noting how you nearly finished one side of colored ones. Then she winks, "Who's name is going on it?"

"Mine," You look at her confused. "Who else?"

"Oh, I don't know," She rolls her eyes. "Maybe Haechan's?"

You almost knock over the container. "Not you too!"

"What?!"

"Karina is already up my ass about him! We're just friends." You frown. "There's nothing going on between us."

"Well, I think either you're lying, or you're too dumb to see it. Both are very plausible." She laughs. "I'm just surprised, didn't think he'd be the one to change things."

"He hasn't changed anything." You chide, and you believed it. Somewhat? Everything felt the same, it wasn't like you shot heart eyes at the boy every time he was around. You two just simply got along, in the same way you and Renjun did. Sure, you and him never spent as much time alone as you and Haechan, but that was just 'cause he was so clingy. Surely not because of anything else.

"He's the only boy you don't yell about! I haven't seen you like this since-" Yeji stops herself before she can go on.

You whip your head up, her face guilty as she regrets having opened her mouth. "Since Sunwoo? Is that really what you were going to say?"

She defends, "I didn't mean to!"

"I know," You agree, you choose to stay calm. You know she meant well, she'd never say it to hurt you. "I just don't like to bring him up. That's all."

"But my point still stands."

"And we all know how things ended with Sunwoo. He ended up breaking my heart into tiny little bite sized pieces. Thank you for reminding me exactly why I hate boys again." You go back to your bracelet, trying not to think about your ex-boyfriend.

She sighs, "I'm sorry."

"For what?" You shake her off. "Not your fault he was the world's worst boyfriend."

"I was out of line." She apologizes again, though you're already over it.

"It's alright. Everyone thinks I like Haechan anyways. Even Renjun pulled me away and started going on a spiel of how I need to be careful." You start, not noticing the look Yeji's giving you.

"So, you don't?"

"I don't.." You trail, hating how you're even thinking about it. "I don't know."

She sits up. "Wait a minute-"

"I just enjoy spending time with him." You admit, but you feel like you're about to throw up. You couldn't believe you felt this way. You couldn't afford to, not again. "More than I do with the others anyways. Can we move on?"

Yeji seems reluctant but nods, looking over into her kitchen space. "Jaemin's been spending a lot of time here, broke my favorite mug."

"The one with the cat on it?" You gasp, more worried for the cup than the boy.

"Yes! The one Ryujin made me in her pottery class!"

"I'd kick him out!" Your jaw drops, knowing how Ryujin would've dragged that poor boy across the floor.

She just feigns annoyance. "Chaewon would have a cow! The two are like bestie's now."

"Seem's like you're all teasing the wrong person!" You stick your tongue out.

"Nope, she honors the pact!" Yeji responds, "Like a lot."

"You're all stupid."

"Hey!"

You two are stopped by the sound of the keypad outside beeping as the code buzzes incorrectly. "Open up! Karina's making me carry all the bags!"

"I literally have soda's in both hands!" The other yells as you get up to get the door, Yeji toddling behind you with a half made bracelet in her hand.

The girls barrel in, rushing to place the food down on the counter as you and Yeji itch to get your hands on the bags.

Karina falls into conversation with Yeji over the wait time when you feel your phone buzzing in your pocket. You pull it out to see Haechan calling you? That was weird, he had never really called you. You two barely even texted since you gave him your number last week.

You just excuse yourself and step into Yeji's bedroom, answering the unusual call. "Hello?"

"Finally! Well, where the hell have you been?!" The voice on the other end pesters.

"What? I've been busy." You lie, tightening your grip on the phone.

"I miss you." He blurts out suddenly, the words making your heart drop. Sure, he had said tons of flirty stuff to you before, but now that you were slightly aware of some feelings? Yeah, this was making your heart race. His comment is followed by silence, neither of you speaking.

You manage to collect yourself, putting on your bickering tone. "Shut up."

"I'm serious! Let's do something tomorrow. Just you and I, wanna show you something."

"What could you possibly want to show me?"

"Besides my dick?" Of course he'd never miss an opportunity to make that kind of joke. What was he, fourteen? But you hated how it made you laugh.

"That's fucking gross." You make a fake-vomiting noise.

"No but all jokes aside," He begins again, speaking quieter through your device. "I'll see you here at 5?"

"I don't know," You respond, staring at your shoes as you think about it.

"Well then who knows?"

One day couldn't hurt, right? You'd spend time with him again and realize that you two are just platonic friends. Yeah, everyone wanted to make it so complicated, when it wasn't like that. Surely, you'd feel at ease after confirming things. "See you at five."

..

"You're ditching us?!" Chaewon's jaw slacks as you shake your head.

"Ditching? I spent all yesterday and this morning with you guys, don't be dramatic." You say as you slip on your shoes.

"For Lee Haechan?!" Karina speaks up, equally as shocked.

"Why are you all so surprised?"

"Because a few months ago, you would've been barking up any tree to get away from him!"

"What does that even mean, Chaewon?"

And the group stills, laughing at what she said. She just leans against the door frame, "Fine, go abandon your friends!"

Yeji pouts before patting the back of a fake-crying Chaewon. "Shame on you."

"I'll be back soon, we all know Karina's going to crash on your couch again anyways." You state, about to open the door.

"Whatever, not my fault you like to sleep toe to toe with Yeji in her bed." She rolls her eyes, referencing to how she had found you this morning. And yes, you were in Yeji's bed, but to say your toes were interlocked? Well..

"Just text us, we were thinking about stopping by Jaemin and Jeno's." Chaewon says, the others nodding their heads.

You shoot them a thumbs up and open the door, not expecting anything that would happen that night.

..

Haechan throws himself on his couch, groaning as he's lost another round of Super Mario Bros. to you. To make it worse, you're just laughing at his defeat, who even knew you were so competitive? He couldn't complain though, you had warn fair and square, unfortunately.

He pushes his soda towards you, a brand he beamed about for the entire day, saying he had picked it up on a grocery trip. (Your friend had whopped him when he realized Haechan brought home the wrong brand, but Haechan actually grew to like it. Well, considering now he had three cases of it, you guess he had no choice.)

He sees your eyes land on the can, before nudging your shoulder. "Try it."

You deny immediately. "I don't know where your mouth has been."

He gasps dramatically as he places a hand on his heart. "You wanna find out?"

"Get me my own and I'll try it." You ignore him as you give in, to which he salutes you and stalks out of the living room like a soldier. That guy was weird.

But the main thing on your mind right now, was what Haechan could possibly be showing you. You two had done nothing for the past hour besides play video games on his couch. So unless the soda brand - Or the potato chips - were what he wanted to show you, then you had no idea.

He returns with the soda, placing it was a clunk on the table, having no idea of your impending thoughts. "Try it and if you like it, then you can have a case."

"So that's what this is." You laugh as you crack the lid. "You're just trying to dump those cases on me."

"No I'm not!" He denies though he smirks a little.

"So," You begin. "What was it that you wanted to show me?"

"All in due time." He teases, grimacing as he downs another can. "Didn't anyone ever tell you that good things come to those who wait?"

"Didn't anyone tell you I was impatient?"

Haechan laughs, brushing his hair from his eyes. "Let's go."

He gets up from the couch, offering you his hand, to which you take. You don't know why, but you trust Haechan. He could lead you to a trap and you'd follow. But you have no idea why.

As you pester as to where it is that you're going, he just tells you to put your seat belt on and not to ask questions. He keeps his patience though, ignoring your whining about this mystery trip.

He just laughed though, telling you how cute you looked when you were pouting. You just shoved him and rolled your eyes, never admitting how hot your face would grow at the random compliments.

Then suddenly, you two were there.

Haechan wouldn't elaborate on what there was. To you, this just looked like a park in the city. But you could tell, with the way he was looking at the trees, this meant something to him.

You two walk up the trail in silence, you choosing not to say anything as he seems determined to get somewhere. You follow without qualms, admiring how dark it was starting to get around this time.

There were families still out though, couples laughing on benches as they fed ducks, and people walking their dogs. It was such a beautiful sight.

Haechan suddenly turns as you make your way up a hill, grabbing your hand as he points to the grass. "Sit with me."

You nod, sitting cross legged on the ground as Haechan stares out into the view. And you can admit, it's breathtaking.

You can see everyone from there. All the people, all the animals, all the trees, you can see it all. You catch glimpses as the sun sets, the sky painted orange as it illuminates the view below.

"It's so pretty." You comment honestly, thankful for the wind on such a hot day, you had never felt more comfortable.

You know why you do though, and it has a lot to do with the boy beside you. The boy you had only known for a few months, but had managed to wring your heart into a knot, he was right here. He made this moment perfect, he made this what it was.

You regret running away, for that week wasted, when you felt like you belonged with him. Your heart swells, and you wish it would stop, but it doesn't cease, not for a second.

Moment's spent with Haechan, they were never a bore, he was someone who you felt genuinely cared about you. Sure, he might have gotten off on the wrong foot with you, but no one was perfect.

He had a past, but damn it, so did you.

You know why you trusted him so much, why you backed away so fast, why you'd follow him anywhere. You knew it all too well.

You couldn't help it, you were in love with him.

"It's beautiful." He responds, resting his head on your shoulder.

You hum back, "Why did you bring me here?"

He turns towards you. "To do this."

Haechan cups your face, tilts it towards him, and then leans in as your lips meet. You don't move for a minute, taken aback by the sudden action, but when you regain your senses you kiss him back.

He pulls off a little before you grab the nape of his neck and bring him in again. You can't get enough, you love the taste of Lee Haechan, you feel like you could kiss him forever. You want to kiss him forever.

You separate again to breathe for a moment but he's pushing your lips back together, it seems the feeling was mutual.

You know you two look like horny teenagers just making out on a hill, something straight our of a coming-of-age movie. But you couldn't care less, you didn't care about what anyone thought of you. All that mattered right now was the boy in front of you.

And loving someone? It never felt this right.

..

You walk into your apartment wearing a dopey smile, Karina texting you that they she had went home, and you're thankful because your pillow sounds so good right now.

After the sunset, Haechan had took you to eat at a small diner, then to a little box arcade to pummel you in every shooting game out there. So, for lack of better word, you were exhausted.

You and Haechan didn't talk about the kiss after, he just smiled at you and then told you he liked you. You'd never felt such butterflies in your life, not even with your ex-boyfriend. It was different.

You call out for your roommate when you walk further in, turning on your lights as she responds. "Can you come here for a minute?"

You walk into her room, seeing Yeji and Chaewon on her bed. You giggle at the two. "Need me to help you move them?"

But she's not laughing, serious as she looks at you. "Maybe we should talk in the living room."

Your heart races. Did something bad happen? Was she okay? Were the others okay? Did the boys piss her off? There were a million things running through your heard at the turn of this night. Nevertheless, you follow her out into the living room, sitting with her. "Is everything alright? You're scaring me with how serious you're being."

She looks down at your attempt to lighten the mood. "As you know, we went to see the boy's today."

You nod, scared to speak. You even feel guilty, but you know you did nothing wrong, why did it seem like you were in trouble?

Karina continues, "They started drinking, a lot. But I stayed sober because I'm having breakfast with my mom tomorrow, remember?"

And now, its oddly apparent to you how she seems to be beating around the bush. You lean in, "Did something happen, Karina?"

"Well, Jeno and I were talking in his room, and all of a sudden Jaemin walks in, drunk obviously. Talking about how he won, and the bet's off now. I thought he was talking about sports or that sort of thing, but then he mentions Haechan." She avoids your eyes.

"What are you saying?" You whisper, meekly.

"Long story short, I got out of Jeno that-" She closes her mouth, and you can see her trying to word it, but your patience is running thin. "Jaemin payed Haechan to talk to you."

"What?!" You exclaim, standing up from where you were sitting. No, no that couldn't be right, that couldn't be true. It barely even made any sense. "Why would he do that?"

Karina stands as well, muttering two words. "The pact."

And it clicks in your head.

"He thought if anyone could sweep you off your feet, it'd be Haechan. So he messaged him randomly and set this whole thing up. He figured if the bet was broken, he could get a chance with Chaewon."

"So he," You start, struggling to speak. "Payed Haechan to make me fall in love. For this stupid pact I didn't even ask to be apart of?!"

"I'm so sorry, I had no idea. Once Jeno told me, I told him I never wanted to see him again! And look I know it doesn't even matter because you don't care-" She pauses as she looks at you, stunned at the sight. "Are you crying?"

And you let out another choked sob at that, her rushing to your side immediately. Your tears are flowing as you rub at your eyes, overwhelmed by the emotions taking over you. "Why are you crying?"

"I loved him."

She staggers back. "You.."

"And this happens." You continue to bawl. "This keeps happening, and I don't know why it keeps happening to me!"

Karina pats your hair as she hugs you. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"I know! I know, I didn't! So why do boys keep doing this to me?! Why do I keep getting used?!" You cry, the words slipping out. "First you, and now Chaewon. Will no one ever just love me?!"

Karina tightens her hug on you, she knows it hurts, she was there. She held you a year and a half ago when you broke up with Sunwoo. Weeping in her arms as you recalled a text message you had viewed on his phone. How he was only using you to get to Karina. She hated him, she hated his entire being, and she still does.

But you didn't love Sunwoo. No, you liked him a lot but love? That was never there. You cried because he treated you like garbage, not because your heart was broken.

She can practically hear it shattering now.

You want to throw something, anything. You want to stomp into Haechan's apartment and throw shit around, making him hurt the way you are. You feel anger, and you feel hurt.

But what you feel most of all, is fear.

You still don't want to lose him, and that's what hurts the most.

SIX, THEY'RE NOT SO EASY TO HATE

When you were fifteen, you wrote a list. Clear cut and simple, straight to the point. It listed six reasons why you hated boys. And so far, to this day, every word has held true.

Sure, people might sit and laugh about it now. Say how it's outdated and how it's rude to generalize an entire gender because of personal experience, but you'd beg to differ.

You lean your head back against your car seat, sniffling as you sit. It's about twelve in the morning at this point, but you can't bring yourself to feel tired. You don't know what to do, you don't even know where you're going. So you go back to the root of this, the boy you thought you could trust. Huang Renjun.

You typed the name easily, not even expecting him to pick up. You don't know what you're going to say, you were so filled with anger that you could explode.

"Hey, what're you doing up so late?" The soft voice chimes as he picks up, half asleep as he yawns.

You burst into tears. "You were my friend?! How could you do this to me?! I trusted you!"

You can hear him shuffling around as you assume he sits up in his bed. "Hello? What? Yn?"

You grit your teeth. "Don't play stupid now, I found out. Are you happy? I know you set me up!"

"Set you up? Are you drunk right now or-"

"Don't you dare!" You scream into the phone. "What, did they promise you a cut of the money? Or did they tell you-"

"What are you talking about?" He yells back, completely confused. "Who promised me money?"

You start crying even more. "I hate you so much, you're just as fake as Haechan."

"Haechan? What do I have to do with him?"

"Do I have to spell it out for you!? Why won't you just admit you helped Jaemin and Jeno?!" Your voice is horse now from the yelling and your eyes rubbed raw from the crying.

"Yn." He calms, lowering his voice. "Talk to me, what did they do?"

His tone takes you off guard, wasn't he just screaming back at you? "Do you really not know?"

"Know what - Please, you have to help me out here - I don't know anything." He responds, and you want so terribly to believe him. He had your back, he warned you, he probably saw all of this coming.

But boys lie, that you know for certain.

"So you don't know that Jaemin bribed Haechan to get me to break that fucking pact?" You curse, voice low, and you hold your breath for his answer.

"He did what?" Renjun speaks, sighing. "And Haechan went through with it? That's so typical of him, but you know what? I warned you."

"Are you trying to preach to me right now?!" You say, pissed off.

"No- Fuck, I'm so sorry." And you can hear him sit down on his bed. "I swear to you, I didn't know about this. They probably didn't tell me on purpose, please, I can't lose you too."

"Renjun," You speak in the mic. "What am I gonna do now?"

"What do you mean?"

"I liked him a lot."

And the other end is silent.

..

If Renjun hadn't proved his friendship to you yet, now was definitely his time to show out. Well, judging by how he's literally tearing up the dance floor for your amusement? Yeah, he's gone above and beyond.

You laugh at him from your little booth, sat next to the guy he had brought along, Renjun's girlfriend across from you as she giggles at her boyfriend.

Her name is Heejin, and she practically crushed you with a hug earlier. Telling you all about how shes begged Renjun to meet the girl responsible for making her precious bunny those bows. Also laughing and giggling about how pretty you were, cheeks slightly red.

The boy beside you was Yangyang, a cousin who Renjun was convinced would make you head over heels. ("Hyuck and him are both stupid!" He had said, trying to point out their similiarities. "And both medium ugly, so they have a lot in common! Give him a chance.) But Renjun was mistaken because you didn't want a boy like Haechan, you wanted Haechan. And it stung.

Yangyang was funny though, and he was polite but it had only been a few weeks since you ghosted Haechan. You weren't ready or open to the idea of anyone new just yet. Yangyang didn't seem to mind though, he was just here for a good time, which he seemed to be having as he made you down a matching shot with him.

"Haechan's a total asshole." Heejin suddenly spouts, likely from having too much to drink. "I would've fallen in love with you for free!"

"Right?!" Yangyang shouts over the music. "Wait, who's Haechan?"

You groan, "Thank you, Heejin."

She sits up. "No problem, and I'm glad you came out with us tonight! Renjun said he hadn't seen you in weeks, I almost thought I'd never get to meet you."

"No seriously," Yangyang speaks, looking around. "Who is Haechan?"

"Okay, you're both trashed." You laugh, staring at your unfinished drink, pretending to stir it. Moving, you slip your heels back on.

"Awee, are you leaving?" Heejin pouts, and you shake your head at the sweet girl. "No, I'm just going to pee. Think you'll be okay?"

She just nods and you stand, pulling your too-tight dress down as you make you way through people. What were you even doing here tonight? Karina had basically kicked you into Renjun's car to leave, saying you needed to be out again. But what was the point anyways? You felt like you finally reached your limit about caring about boys anymore, especially one's that weren't Lee Haechan.

Goodness, there you go again. Thinking about the very person who left you like this, who didn't even fight for you or come looking. He knew what he had done, and you hope it eats at him everyday.

But you also hope he's okay. You hope that, maybe just a tiny part of him actually liked you, and that maybe your absence made a small dent in his life.

But you doubt it, not like you knew anyways. You would ask Renjun but they got into a fight, presumably over what he had done to you, and now the two don't even talk anymore. According to your friend, the other just comes home to sleep, busy going who knows where during the day.

Coming back from the bathroom, you find Renjun having returned, coddling his girlfriend as Yangyang watches with a displeased look on his face. You can relate.

Then you realize something, Renjun is drunk. Which means, he's incapable of taking you home. You confirm this as you and Yangyang, the only one's about to stand by themselves, sling Renjun over your shoulders and walk to his car. You grab the keys from his pockets as he protests. "It's fine, take my car and call us an Uber."

"Are you insane?" You ask, trying to ignore the pain in your arms. "Stuff three drunk people in an Uber and hope they make it home? Who do you think I am?"

But you're a bit thankful that Renjun wants to make things easier for you. You were a big girl though, you could handle driving them to his apartment, even if Haechan was there.

Right, you'd be fine.

That's what you keep repeating as you make the drive, unfamiliar with this car, but driving just fine. You can see Renjun and Heejin cuddling in the rear view, Yangyang sat up front as he stares out the window.

"I've been wondering all night," He speaks, taking you off guard. "What's got you all upset? Is it that Haechan that Heejin mentioned?"

You keep your eyes on the road. "It's embarrassing."

"Well, my girlfriend of four years cheated on me." He speaks, causing you to shift in your seat. The confession offbeat, not expecting his openness. "That's why I'm here, I live an hour and half away. But I can't go to my place knowing she's there, I can't stand to be around her."

"I'm really sorry," You say, sincerity in your voice. "You deserve better."

He just shrugs. "That's not even the embarrassing part. I can't be around her because I know I'll take her back, I still love her. Isn't that weird, loving someone after they did you so wrong?"

"It's not weird." You whisper back.

"Renjun's the one who drove me down here himself, he knows I'm weak. He knows I view love irrationally." Yangyang drops his head.

"That's not irrational, we can't help who we love."

He tries to piece things together. "Did Haechan cheat on you too?"

"No," You respond, gripping the wheel. "Well, we weren't even together."

"So you're upset over someone you weren't with? Ditto. I think we've all been there, I guess the only thing left now is if you think he's worth forgiving." And for how much the boy drank, you hated how he seemed so wise.

"I don't know, I think I was more upset that he didn't reach out. It's like he doesn't care, like I'm not worth chasing."

"Maybe he's giving you space." He suggests. "That's what I'd do."

"Do you think your girlfriend's worth forgiving?" You hated cheaters, and you'd personally never forgive one. So depending on Yangyang's response, will deduce how helpful his advice is.

"Fuck no." He laughs, leaning his head back. "But your situation is different, you didn't catch your partner in bed with her neighbor so."

Your eyes grow big as you stammer. "I-"

"Don't," He stops you. "If anyone else tells me they're sorry again, I think i'll throw up."

You nod. "I get it."

"Anyways, you can still save your situation. Just depends if you think he's worth your time." He yawns, just in time for you to approach Renjun's complex.

You stay silent, unbuckling your seat belt. What was all the contemplation even for? He could very well not even be home.

But those words are swallowed when Renjun's front door is opened, the boy you'd been dreading in front of you. He rubs his eyes, muttering how he could hear Yangyang's loud voice from inside the house.

Then he quiets, eyes meeting yours.

And you missed the sight terribly.

Yangyang grabs his cousin from your side, pushing past Haechan with Heejin following.

You just stare Haechan up and down. He looks down, opening his mouth and then closing it instantly. He has a million things he wants to say, but he doubts you want to hear anything from him.

So you talk first. "Why didn't you come after me?"

He stops. "What?"

"You didn't even call!" You throw your hands up. "I would've heard you out! I would've let you explain, but you didn't even send a text!"

He takes in your words with disbelief. "I- I assumed you didn't want to hear from me and-"

"That's right, you assumed! You didn't even try, you were just going to let me go." You hold back your tears as your eyes well up. "I waited for days, sitting by the phone for an explanation, for you to call and apologize. I would've taken it from you, you idiot!"

Haechan moves forward. "I'm more sorry than you could imagine."

"Was it all just a chore to you? Everything, all of it?"

"Listen to me." He shakes his head. "I didn't take the money, okay? I took it initially, but after the first time we met, I backed out. It felt horrible to keep doing that to someone."

"And yet you still kept following me around?!" You say, not understanding.

"That was because I was interested in you." He says without hesitance. "And after I ruined everything, I just couldn't bear to see you hurt. I feel horrible every day, it's been hell without you."

"You should've called." You meek, a tear running down your face.

"I know, I should've done a lot of things differently. I should've been honest with you sooner, I should've came clean."

"You know what the stupidest part of it all is?" You cross your arms, as you wipe at your eyes. "I would've forgiven you."

"I'm-"

"Because I love you." And you cry. God, you hated yourself right now. Crying because of a boy? And even worse, crying because of a boy? One you hadn't even known that long, but that managed to worm his way into your life, but had also caused you such sadness.

But as Haechan wraps his arms around you, whispering that he loves you back, you know he's someone worth forgiving.

EPILOGUE

As mentioned, you had made a list when you were fifteen. Unleashing your wrath among the male population after another one had cut you clean.

The list read as followed,

6 Reasons I hate boys,

1, They make everything about them.

2, They're liar's.

3, They don't mind thier business.

4, They confuse being friendly for flirting.

5, They're easy to fall in love with.

And 6, They're not so easy to hate.

Haechan cackles as you read it out, shaking his head as he stirs his coffee. "That's ridiculous."

"How so?" You place the paper down as you narrow your eyes, "Every single thing here has been proven."

"Well its not about the contents of the list," He begins, grabbing your hand. "To me, that sounds like a list of things you like about boys."

"What?!"

"C'mon, you like that I'm the center of attention. You also like when I lie to you about drama spoilers you see online to spare your feelings. Hm, and you love when I poke my head into you and Yeji's gossip sessions to give my input." He lists, counting on his fingers.

"And if I didn't confuse you for flirting, then I would've thought you hated me this whole time." He winks as you scrunch your nose. "And the last two are pretty self explanatory."

"Whatever," You roll your eyes. "You're the worst."

"But you're still dating me so."

"Against my will."

He mocks you, quirking his head to the side. "I'm going to make a list of things I love about you, but I think it'd be more than 6."

"Eww," You drag, still not used to such a sweet side of Haechan. "Corny!"

"Let me be corny!" He waves. "As long as it gets you into Renjun's bed with me."

"For the last time," You lower your voice, looking around the coffee shop. "We are not having sex in Renjun's bed!"

"He does it to me!"

"Only as revenge! And you guy's barely got on good terms again, do you really want to push it?"

He thinks about it. "Well.."

"Nope, not happening." You dismiss, looking over to the cafe counter. "Now go get me some of those cookies."

"Anything for you, my love."

And even though he's a boy, who hopelessly fits into your list.

You could never hate Lee Haechan.

Taglist: @fairyofshampgyu @lislis80 @jenoteamo @smwhrinthehazehaze @matchahyuck @ohmykwonsoonyoung @emvrd @allu-23

[jjbalice]

Martyr's Folly

Summary: Yunho helps and comforts the reader after they've accidentally cut too deep.

Genre: a hurt/comfort Yunho x reader oneshot

Word count: 4.81k (15-20 mins)

Trigger warnings: semi-descriptive self-harm (blood, cuts, use of blades - nothing too crazy, though, don't worry!), panicking, crying, mentions of relapsing, lots of pet names, nicknames, and physical affection lol, Yunho is a blessing

A/N: This fic is pretty personal since I've been struggling with not feeling valid enough because of the way I SH, which isn't the stereotypical kind you see in movies and such. In a way, it's an attempt at scaring myself from buying any actual blades mixed in with the comfort I crave whenever I slip up, I guess.

Baby cuts. Cat scratches. Damage dealt within the epidermis and the higher half of the dermis. Whatever you want to call it.

For a few weeks now, that's exactly what has been slowly but steadily appearing on your feet and lower calves. Or re-appearing, rather. A bad habit from the past coming back to haunt you all over again for no apparent reason.

No but seriously, what reason for doing this is there? You're happy, you have a stable part-time job on the side of your studies that are also going great, and an incredible boyfriend with whom you've just celebrated a 6-month anniversary. No real issues in your life as far as you can see.

Sure, sometimes you get caught up in a fight with your friends or parents, or even with Yunho, or maybe some of your insecurities hit extra strong on some days. But all of that is normal, right? Just some passing obstacles that get resolved in a few days tops.

So why are you here, at 3 am, staring at the husk of a person in the mirror? Why is your head so empty yet incomprehensibly full at the same time? Why are your hands all fidgety, getting ready to strike any moment?

Truth be told, you have no clue.

This was supposed to be a lovely weekend for you. You got off work early on Friday, securing enough time to pack your stuff at your dorm before heading to Yunho's apartment for a sleepover. He's been trying to convince you to move in with him after your anniversary, saying how it would be both cheaper and closer to your university. Both of those arguments are true, and yet you remain stubborn, wanting to keep your independence for just a bit longer.

Alas, Yunho has no choice but to respect your decision and settle for weekend sleepovers in the meantime.

And even those are great! The two of you get to talk for hours and play games, cook dinner together or order in and watch TV... Mainly, though, you get to cuddle and snuggle to your hearts' content (and maybe even do a bit more than that, if the opportunity and want arises).

That's also one of the main reasons for your hesitance over this whole... relapse thing.

Because of Yunho and his affectionate nature towards you, hiding the traces of your renewed habits became much more difficult. You couldn't cut where you used to before, all of those areas feeling way too exposed now.

And so, you settled on the bottom of your legs. Anything a pair of longer socks could easily hide without too much questioning from your boyfriend. Let's just say your feet are cold all the time now, even though summer's just barely starting to end.

Is it satisfying to harm there? No, not at all. The area is too small and angular, and the pain-to-mark ratio is nowhere near optimal. Everything feels too bony and stings more than other places, and all you get from it are the faintest of scratches.

But anything to at least partially quell the urge, right?

Well, not exactly.

If the razor blade hidden within the confines of your duffel bag was any proof, your methods weren't exactly effective.

You've never used an actual razor blade before, never even planned on trying it since you knew about the dangers of using it and how everything could get out of hand within seconds. Sure, the scissors and other sharp objects you've used until now weren't exactly perfect either, but they didn't put you at as much of a risk of going to the ER.

...So why did you buy the blade then?

Well, it was pretty cheap, first of all. You could just buy it, think about using it, and then throw it out without feeling too guilty about it, right? Not to mention how it helped you feel more valid about harming, even if you haven't used it yet. Self-harm is always depicted as razor blades on wrists, so even just owning one somehow helped you feel a bit more valid amidst the disappointing scratches on your leg.

It's been a week since you've bought said blade (or 5 blades rather, as they came in a pack - what a steal!). During that week, not much has happened to it. Right after you paid and got your receipt, you tossed the paper into a nearby trash can and stashed the pack of blades into your wallet. And there they were even later tonight, as you quietly crept to your bag to retrieve them, careful not to wake Yunho up.

But let's rewind back a bit. Back to where today's misfortune started.

Just like with everything else lately, you don't know why the urge to indulge washed over you specifically tonight. You and Yunho have spent such a fun evening together, lounging around and enjoying each other in whatever way felt right.

And yet, the moment the lights were turned off and your boyfriend spooned you from behind, holding you close while his breathing slowly evened out, it was as if something had shifted in the air. An overwhelming sense of emptiness washed over you, making you feel both completely dull and overstimulated. Yunho's arms around you felt both like an anchor and a vice, the opposing feelings adding even more to the already rising chaos in your mind. You were suddenly overly aware of every part of your body, as if your own skin was calling out to you.

You didn't want to.

You knew you had to.

As gently and quietly as you could, you unwrapped yourself from Yunho's embrace and got up. He let out a soft sigh at the loss of contact, and you had to admit, you already mourned it too.

Sneaking into the bathroom, you closed the door before turning on the lights. Avoiding the reflection in the mirror, you began searching through the cabinet under the sink. You didn't want to see yourself right now. If anything, it would just add to the confusing conflict raging within you, and you really didn't need that.

Rummaging through each shelf one more time, you let out a frustrated huff. There was nothing you could use. Well, save for the expensive-looking razor Yunho owned, but you really didn't have the patience or coherency to take apart your boyfriend's belongings.

It's time, then.

The return to the bedroom was a bit stressful, as you couldn't decide between searching through your duffel bag there or bringing it with you to the bathroom. Both options seemed too noisy right now, causing you to awkwardly loom over the bag for a few moments, chewing nervously on your bottom lip.

In the end, you decided to just risk it, crouching down to begin unzipping the top. Strangely enough, you kind of hoped Yunho would hear it and wake up. Maybe the shock of being caught would stop you for the time being and you could just go back to bed.

To both your luck and dismay, Yunho didn't wake up, his biggest reaction being the slightest stir of the sheets.

With your wallet in hand, you walked back to the bathroom, your steps a bit bolder this time. Now that you knew Yunho wouldn't wake up so easily, you didn't pay as much mind to the noise you were making.

In a weird way, you were upset. Upset he didn't wake up. Upset he didn't magically realize what your new obsession with socks could possibly mean. Upset he wasn't there to stop you right now.

But along with the upset came a strange feeling of calm. Joy, even.

He doesn't know. Nobody has any idea you're doing this right now. Nobody cares enough to find out anyway. You're free to reign over your body as you please, especially if it will finally shut down the confusing mess of emotions boiling within you.

It will, right?

It's 3 am. You're staying over at Yunho's apartment and he's currently sleeping in the bedroom next-door. You finally gather enough courage to look at yourself in the mirror, but it's rather disappointing. The shell standing in front of you doesn't bring up any emotions anymore. It doesn't even look like you, you think. Maybe this isn't you, after all. That's what you like to tell yourself whenever the moment is over, that this isn't actually the real you harming yourself. This is someone else taking hold of you and your upcoming actions.

You sit down on the cold bathroom floor, a razor blade in hand. When did you unpack them? The small paper packaging and 4 other blades are lying right next to you. Huh. Guess you did just now.

You don't bother taking off the socks. A precious thing like this shouldn't be used in such a shitty spot anyways.

Then again, you also don't exactly want to die right now, so the wrists are off-limits. Sure, you want to feel more valid and that place is the most stereotypical one to cut, but you're already holding the blade you thought you'd never dare use, so that's enough "progress" for now.

Now that you think about it, the thighs sound pretty scary too. You've always heard of some major arteries being located in the thigh. Perhaps you shouldn't risk it there then. Not yet, at least.

And so, like a coward, you move back to your lower leg.

To your defense, you do go considerably higher than usual! You pick a nice spot that's vaguely in the middle of the side of your leg, where your shins and calves would meet.

Deep breaths. You can do this. Just brace yourself and-

...

...

Oh fuck.

No, no, no nonono-

You knew the risks, you knew you should watch out for the pressure when using a razor blade for the first time since it's so much sharper than any pair of scissors you own, but somehow even the lessened pressure you put was too much.

Within seconds, blood started flowing to the surface. You dropped the blade, making it fly in a random direction as your hands trembled.

Your eyes welled with tears as, despite the blood, you could see a gash way deeper than any cut you'd ever made until now; you could literally see two parts of your skin split-

You're gonna throw up. Or faint. Or both. Oh fuck.

The first drops of blood fell onto the tiles just as your own tears pooled over. Your chest heaved with your labored breathing. You didn't know what to do.

Should you go to the ER? Will it stop on its own? Should you wake Yunho up? Oh god, you should probably wake Yunho up, shouldn't you.

Wiping your tear-stained face as best as you could with your shirt, you crawled over to the bathroom door. You were too scared to walk, afraid you'd faint if you stood up so suddenly.

As you sat by the door, another sob wracked through you. You couldn't calm down, you were too scared of what might happen if you didn't take care of the gash in time. And yet, you couldn't help but fear what might happen if you woke Yunho up. Now that you think about it, maybe it will just stop on its own and you can hide it for the rest of the weekend and then you'll just make up a story of how you got into an accident at work and-

One look at the trail of blood behind you was enough to get your hands on the door handle, pulling the door open on your second try. The door handle flew back up with a loud bang as you dropped back down, but the door was open at last. You pulled it fully open from where you sat, taking a few shallow breaths once you did so.

"...Y/N?"

Now. Now he wakes up. Not at any point before you could have done this. Now.

In the back of your mind, a strange feeling of anger bubbled up. Somehow, you wanted to blame Yunho for not getting to you sooner. But the second you realized what your brain was trying to do, you felt another pang of nausea hit you.

Yunho was not to blame in the slightest. This is all you. You started this, you went through with it, and now you're crawling back to him for help. Don't even try to put any blame on him, no matter how much easier it would make this whole thing to stomach.

"Y/N, are you okay?"

Right, he was awake. The shuffling of the sheets coming from the bedroom confirmed as much.

You tried to call out to him but choked on another sob instead.

All of your fear of being seriously hurt and needing help immediately shifted, transforming into the most heart-wrenching wave of guilt imaginable. Just what have you done? Why are you burdening someone else with this? Are you really going to make him see this?

Your thoughts were quickly interrupted by the first footstep. All the raging panic hit you anew, making you speak before you could think.

"W-wait!" You cried, an unknown feeling of desperation clutching your chest. "Please, please don't come here, please."

To your surprise, the footsteps actually stopped.

"...I'm waiting, but please tell me what's going on," Yunho replied with obvious unease.

Well, uh. You haven't exactly thought this far, have you?

"O-okay, I, well, I," you stumbled over your words, trying to work through the mush of your brain to come up with anything even barely comprehensible. "I did something really bad and I think I need your help but you have to promise not to be mad. I don't know what to do but please don't be upset."

Selfish. That's what you were. Even amongst all this chaos and pain you were about to drag Yunho into, all you could think about was saving your own face and evading consequences.

"Y/N, I'm sorry but I'm coming in," Yunho suddenly announced, and the footsteps resumed. "I need to see if you're okay, I promise I won't be mad."

There was no escaping it now. You could only brace yourself for the worst, whatever that would entail.

Two feet stood before your hunched-over form. You didn't dare look up, you didn't dare see what he was feeling.

As carefully as he could, Yunho stepped around you and further into the bathroom. You heard the scraping of metal across tiles before the cabinet doors opened. A towel, a first aid kit, and a medium-sized, colorful box appeared before you, along with your boyfriend in his cozy pajamas. Still, you didn't dare look up.

Wordlessly, he propped your injured leg up as gently as he could, as if he was handling the finest china in the world. Placing the dark grey towel under it, blood immediately rolled down and seeped into the material.

"Okay, this might seem a bit weird, but just- I'm not an expert or anything, far from it, really, but-"

As Yunho rambled nervously, you watched his hands tear open a pack of pads. Ever since your sleepovers became a more regular thing, he'd made sure to keep some in his apartment at all times in case of an emergency. Never had he thought he'd use them in this type of emergency, though.

You watched in confusion as he pulled out one of the pads, opening it and double-checking which side was sticky and which was dry. Unable to hide his worried grimace as he got closer to the wound, he pressed the cotton pad against it.

"I- I probably have something better in the first aid kit to stop the bleeding, but while I look through it, just hold that down to the cut, okay?"

You nodded weakly, deciding not to ask any questions and just let your boyfriend try to fix you. Not that you could say much anyway, not with the way your throat had dried and closed up from all the anxiety.

You silently kept watch as Yunho fumbled through the red bag, noticing the slight tremors in his hands. When you looked at his face, however, it appeared surprisingly neutral.

Ah, so he was trying to stay calm to not worry you any further, but on the inside, he was freaking out just as much as you, if not more. Great. You didn't think you could feel more guilt than you already had, but guess not.

"I'm sorry it's taking so long," he spoke up again, "Mingi would get injured all the time before he'd moved out - you know how clumsy he can get - and I, uh, haven't exactly taken the time to re-organize everything. Sorry."

Your lips twitched into the smallest of smiles, along with a hushed "It's okay, babe".

Yunho's eyes shot up at your words, mirroring your soft smile with his own. Pausing his search for just a second, he leaned over and planted a quick, reassuring kiss on your forehead. "You're right. I'll take good care of you, don't worry. After the first accident Mingi had here, I bought some steri-strips... They should still be around here somewhere, but we threw the original packaging away, so they're just a bit hard to find."

You hummed in understanding, hoping you could ease at least some of his worries by showing him you were doing alright.

Somehow, the moment Yunho appeared in the doorway, all of your previous panic stopped. It was as if through his presence, the jumbled mess of worries surrounding you had split into two. Yunho had graciously shouldered the worries about your physical state, while you focused on keeping his mental well-being in check. All of the fear about his reaction to this situation as a whole was still there, of course, but for the time being, you'd managed to shove them to the back of your mind. It was something to worry about later, when the two of you could calm down and properly talk to each other.

For now, all you had to do was just worry about Yunho while he worried about you.

"Finally!" Yunho sighed in relief, fishing out two small packs of steri-strips. "Okay. Let's do this, then."

But as he shuffled closer to your leg again, he paused.

"Wait, I'm sorry for assuming," he began while opening the first set, "but you don't want to go to the hospital, right? They'd obviously do a much better job than me, but since you said you needed my help, I just, I guessed that- you know. Should we go to the hospital instead?"

You immediately shook your head no, making Yunho smile faintly, glad to have read you right and that he wasn't wasting time trying to play hero.

You were thankful he didn't insist on taking you to the hospital. You knew it would probably be for the best, but right now, in your state, you couldn't even fathom going. You were terrified just crawling to the door to beg for Yunho's help, let alone driving to the opposite part of town to have complete strangers examine you.

"Right then," Yunho sighed, mentally steeling himself for the next step. "Can you feel your leg fine? Feeling faint or anything?"

You just shook your head, slowly easing the pressure you held on the cut. "I'm okay, I think. Just a little shaken up still."

Yunho nodded thoughtfully, helping you unstick the bloody pad from your hand. Luckily, it seemed that most of the bleeding had stopped, at least for now. "It's okay, I'm a bit out of it too."

"Sorry for making you do this," you whispered sincerely, but Yunho quickly stopped you again.

"Don't be sorry, Y/N. I know you didn't mean to do this. You wouldn't have called for me like that if things went down the way you wanted them to."

You couldn't bring yourself to say anything after that, feeling your throat tighten as a fresh wave of tears rushed to your eyes.

You averted your gaze as Yunho began cleaning the area as gently as he could before placing the strips down, helping hold the wound shut. Four strips helped the cut close up, and then two were laid on top of them to help everything stay put. Despite no professional medical training, you swear your boyfriend could do anything like an expert first-try. Well, considering him saying something about treating Mingi's injuries, he might have actually trained a bit already. Either way, you could feel your nerves easing a considerable bit at the sight of the gash finally closed-up.

"There we go," Yunho said contently, giving your other leg a gentle pat. "Just stay put a little longer, okay? I'm gonna clean up a bit in here."

Oh, that's right.

You were so out of it you completely forgot about the blades scattered around, the blood dripping across the floor, the towel, pads, first aid kit, everything.

Closing your eyes, you tried to focus on your breathing. It has mostly returned to normal, but you could still feel a lot of tightness in your chest.

"Hey now, don't go falling asleep on me, okay?" You heard Yunho calling out to you a few meters away, making you peek one eye open.

He was kneeling by the sink, scrubbing at the dirty tiles. When he noticed you looking at him, he flashed you a quick, comforting smile.

"'m not falling asleep," you protested, "I'm just resting a bit, sorry."

"It's okay, I was just a little worried."

Yeah. That's definitely one way to put how Yunho was likely feeling right now.

But that could be dwelled on and discussed later. For now, all you had to do was sit still, breathe deep, and stay strong.

...

"You still with me, princess?"

You opened your eyes again, this time to find Yunho sitting in front of you. You don't know how much time has passed, too focused on pacing your breaths, saying the alphabet forwards and backwards, thinking about your favorite TV show moments - anything to calm down, really.

When he saw you were still fully awake, he pulled out a gauze bandage with a small smile. "We should be fine with just the steri-strips, but let me wrap this up for you to be one hundred percent safe, okay?"

You let him do as he pleased, trusting his judgment better than your own at the moment. As he bandaged your leg, you looked around the room, noticing everything was back the way it was before you'd entered.

"I put the, uh, the blades away for now," Yunho continued, a nervous edge to his tone. "I didn't want to just throw them away without permission, but leaving them out here in the open didn't seem like a great idea either. Sorry if it seems distrustful, it's just... you know."

"You're scared I might do it again," you finished for him, making him nod hesitantly. "It's okay, I get it."

It was honestly surprising how easy it was to talk to Yunho about this. Maybe it's because he already saw the worst of it, maybe it was the way he took such gentle care of you, or maybe it was just his entire attitude about this so far. Caring, non-judgemental, open to listen.

"Alright then, I think we're done here. Let's get you to bed, shall we?"

Before you could respond, you were picked up by a pair of strong, warm hands. You wanted to object for a split second, but on second thought, maybe it was in your best interest not to move too much right now.

A few moments later, you were laid back down on the bed, a soft kiss pressed to your temple before you were shrouded in your blanket. With a whispered promise of returning again, Yunho rushed back to turn off the lights and close the door, enveloping the two of you in darkness. You waited a second, two, and then the bed dipped behind you with a quiet creak.

"Come here." Yunho's arms wrapped around your waist from behind again, holding you closer than before. "Is this okay? Should I give you space?"

"It's fine, Yuyu."

His chest shook with a small chuckle. "Oh come on, don't call me that right now." He somehow snuggled up even closer to you, pressing his face into your neck. "I'm already emotional enough as is."

A beat or two of silence passed between the two of you before he spoke up again.

"Was this," Yunho paused, hesitating for a second, "was this the first time you did something like this, or are there... more?"

You sighed. "Well, this was the first time I've messed up like this and used an actual razor blade, but in general? There's been a few instances, yeah. Most of them happened years ago, but lately, it started up again."

Yunho stayed quiet this time. As the silence stretched on, you began to grow worried. Is this the moment where he gets mad at you?

A sniffle broke through the air, quickly followed by another. The hold around your waist tightened.

"It's the socks, isn't it?" Yunho barely choked out, voice trembling.

Never have you felt so guilty in your life before.

"I thought it was weird, I wanted to ask you about it, I really did," he sobbed, burying his wet face further into your shirt. "I didn't want to make you feel bad about it if it was genuinely just something you preferred, so I held back, but it worried me anyway. I should have asked so much sooner."

"Yu..." You tried to turn around in his embrace, but he stopped you, not letting you see his tearful eyes. "Honey, it's not your fault in the slightest, please don't beat yourself up about it."

"But I should have-"

"Just listen to the same advice you gave me, hm? You never wanted this to happen, you wouldn't be so torn up about it otherwise. It's really not your fault."

With what you assumed to be a watery hum of agreement, Yunho nodded into your back.

You tried to turn around again, and this time, Yunho finally let you. You watched as his silhouette sat up, reaching around for the tissue box on the nightstand before wiping his tears and blowing his nose.

"I'm sorry," he muttered, crumpling the tissue and putting it away, "you're the one hurting and I'm making it all about myself."

You tutted softly as he laid back down, shuffling closer to him to drape yourself over his broad chest. "That's not true, Yun. I know this is really hard on you as well, you have all the right to be upset. Please don't hide it just because I'm also in pain."

"Okay," he accepted, taking a deep breath to calm himself.

The room stayed quiet for another few minutes, save for the faint rustling of the sheets as you intertwined one of your hands with his.

"If it's okay," Yunho croaked in a careful, ginger tone, "could we maybe talk more about this tomorrow? I feel like I have over a million questions right now, but I don't want to overwhelm you when you should be resting."

You let out a small, sleepy chuckle. "Yeah, that sounds good. I think I'll also feel a bit better if we talk about this some more tomorrow. It's a bit embarrassing even now when I know that you know, but I trust you enough to share this part of me, I think."

Yunho leaned down to kiss the top of your head, making you smile. "Thank you, you have no idea how much that means to me. And please, never feel embarrassed about this. Just because this stuff is not talked about enough doesn't mean your feelings are wrong or not valid. We'll figure this out together, I promise. No matter what it takes."

"Okay. I look forward to tomorrow," you said, pressing a quick peck to his sternum before lying down again. "Goodnight, Yuyu."

"Goodnight, love."

Please, don't hesitate to reblog or comment!! Any kind of feedback is much appreciated!! <333

(Also would once again like to say that this was not meant to romanticize SH in any way, and I hope it did not come across that way. Take care, everyone <3)

[jaehunnyy]

Ateez and the things they do for you while on tour

Genre: established relationship, floof—lots of it, crack-ish?

Word count: 1.9k

Pairing: idols!Ateez x gn!reader

Warnings: pet names (+ reader calling Mingi princess), possible grammar mistakes

Taglist: @shakalakaboomboo, @pocketjoong-reads, @nebulousbrainsoup, @justhere4kpop, @bluehwale, @bluisheye93, @ssaboala, @i-luvsang, @ad0rechuu

Networks: @cromernet 🤍

Hongjoong - falling asleep on face-time

☆ Hongjoong keeps track of every single difference between his and your timezone, having it as a daily reminder on the world clock.

☆ It doesn't matter how tired he is after performing and melting million hearts;

☆ He could never be too tired for his love.

☆ Calls you when he's on his way to the hotel room if it's at a suitable hour;

☆ If not, he would settle for napping for a bit and set an alarm so he can call you at a reasonable time.

☆ Loves having your voice playing in the background for whenever sleep gets too hard to fight against (and if you start talking about your day, it's simply music for his ears).

☆ Smiles contentedly, even in his sleep, when you tell him how proud you are and how much you love and miss him.

☆ "You shined today too, baby. I am so, so, proud of you, and I hope you know that."

☆ Even when he's drowsy—droopy eyes, mouth slightly open, almost slipping into the dreams' world, he would never be too tired to mouth an "I love you too, love; thanks for being by my side,"—might come off as a mumble, but the intention is there.

☆ And that's the tutorial on how to make your sleepy Joong happy. :)

Seonghwa - buying souvenirs

☆ Seonghwa would buy the whole shop for you if he could. 

☆ Not that he didn't want to, but Yeosang—his shopping companion, didn't allow that to happen. 

☆ Whenever he sees a cute object, be it little or big, his eyes gather the whole universe in them, an excited smile creeping on his face, as the only thing he can say is "Y/n! :D" 

☆ Magnets? "These would look amazing on their fridge!" 

☆ Clothes? "I remember they said they needed a new cardigan." 

☆ Plushies? "Y/n's shelves have been pretty empty lately, these would look great in there :D." 

☆ And who are you to burst his bubble? It's not like you didn't try to tell him that he should tone it down; but he didn't even bother to listen to you, stuffing more and more into his luggage for when he comes home to show you. 

☆ When unboxing, he would just smile and proceed to take more out of his suitcase. 

☆ "Honey, you don't need to spend so much money on me…" You say, looking at the suitcase he claimed was filled with only souvenirs. 

☆ "Can you blame me, starlight? Let me spoil you." He smiles, settling himself on the floor as he keeps on unpacking, making you accept your fate and smile as well.

Yunho - sending you dancing videos

☆ This man is all but leaving you alone—not that you're complaining or anything. 

☆ He would send you videos of him practicing every single hour, maybe call you too, just to show (and maybe flex) his fantastic dancing skills. 

☆ Sometimes, he would even call you and ask you to learn something together—he just loves to see you dance with him, okay? 

☆ Always asks for your opinion first, on every cover he wants to post. 

☆ "I think that's good enough to post, Yun—" Wooyoung would try to say, but his friend would brush him off quickly. 

☆ "Let me ask Y/n first! :D" 

☆ The moment the warmth of your praises engulfs him—he becomes a malfunctional boy; smiling from ear to ear, continuously staring at your texts, making everyone around him ask him if he is okay, if he needs to see a doctor or something (it's just his friends being the teases they are)—yet he wouldn't care, he is in love <3. 

☆ "Of course it's amazing, Yuyu. You're doing amazing everytime <333." 

☆ He would melt into a puddle. 

☆ "No words can explain how thankful I am for you, my darling." 

Yeosang - delivering sweet nothings

☆ Yeosang would send special deliveries for his significant other.

☆ He has to make sure his baby is being well taken care of even when he's away, doesn't he?

☆ If you randomly get up due to the sound of your doorbell—know that Yeo planned something; again.

☆ Sometimes it's fresh food from your favorite restaurant; sometimes flowers bouquets.

☆ Sometimes, even your favorite hoodie of his—to remind you of him, and his scent.

☆ He would be sneaky and innocent about it too—he would never admit it's him (he would, you just have to be cute enough for it).

☆ "Yeoooo, the flowers you sent yesterday are still there! Where am I supposed to place these ones?"

☆ "What flowers, sweets? I didn't send you anything though?" The lie would slip through his lips, soon curling into a mischievous smile.

☆ Secretly—he enjoys it way too much—seeing how happy you are after the warm meal, how you couldn't stop smelling the flowers he chose for you.

☆ He loved you so much and he had to prove it somehow, even if he was miles away from you.

San - hugging his phone while face-timing

☆ San loves physical attention; he craves it—a lot.

☆ And though there's no way you can give it to him, he finds one, 'cause he's your smart boyfriend.

☆ He came up with the sudden idea of you hugging your phones at the same time, as silly as that might sound.

☆ Hugging the devices to your chests was giving him enormous comfort—not so much of a physical one, but one for the heart, at least.

☆ At first, you didn't expect him to want this to be a regular thing, you thought he would do it one time and then forget about it—or simply leave it aside.

☆ No. Your boyfriend started doing that every single call.

☆ "Y/nnnnn, do you feel it? The warmth?" He asks, his eyes shaped into little crescent moons, while the joy would dig little dimples into his cheeks.

☆ "Sannie… all I feel is how hot my phone got after three hours of continuously face-timing you," you say, looking at his pout through the screen.

☆ "Can you at least pretend? It's the only thing that unites us right now, so please pretend it's me you're hugging, sweets."

☆ With time, you came to understand what he was talking about—it felt nice to imagine him cuddled into your arms, counting the days and hoping they would pass faster and give you your boyfriend back.

Mingi - sending you voice texts

☆ Mingi would send you cute voice texts, and expects you to answer in the same manner.

☆ He would send one right after he woke up, the hoarseness of his voice echoing through your ears and making you giggle.

☆ Would also send you lots of them when he reaches the comfort of his hotel bed, telling you about his day and waiting for you to call, for the live experience.

☆ Sometimes, he would send some in the middle of the day, and when you play them, you're met with the beauty of his singing voice, playing one of the songs he had written, just for you.

☆ Along with comfort, they would usually make tears prickle at the corner of your eyes—because you miss him, and because the depth of the lyrics makes you want to give him the biggest hug ever.

☆ Mingi would also send you vocal texts of him silly laughing at random jokes, or funny videos, claiming that he doesn't want you to forget his laugh (don't forget he wants to hear yours too).

☆ And hearing him laugh would automatically make you cackle too, recording it just in time.

☆ "Princess? If I had a superpower, I wish I could teleport," you said, sending the short voice message to him.

☆ "And why is that, sweetheart?" He asks, in the same manner.

☆ "So I can come there and give you the biggest hug ever," and that was enough to make him melt and think about how much he loves you.

Wooyoung - recording daily vlogs

☆ Wooyoung would be recording silly little vlogs for you at every single step.

☆ No one and nothing could hold him back from turning his camera on selfie mode and pressing the rec button (but also, no one can stop him when he's about to fall 'cause he doesn't see where he steps).

☆ As soon as he gets into his hotel room, he will start making the room tour for you, explaining every detail he notices about it.

☆ Sometimes, he would trick some staff members into showing him the stage outfits beforehand, just for you to wake up with an outfit check vlog made by your boyfriend, exclusively.

☆ He could be anywhere—restaurant, preparing to eat; backstage, preparing to go on stage, or simply walking around the city—it wouldn't matter, his hand is always able to hold a camera or at least his phone.

☆ Oh, and don't you dare interrupt him—he gave San the nastiest look when he called Woo for game night.

☆ "I'm recording my daily vlog for Y/n, can't you see, San? When did you become so heartless?" He asked, hand holding his heart as San raised his arms, defeated.

☆ "Sorry, angel. San is bothering me. Back to you now! :D"

☆ If you could ever make time to send him one of your own daily vlogs too, he would be the happiest man; saving it and staring at it all along, like a lucky charm.

☆ "I decided I should send you a daily vlog from work too, can't let my pookie forget my face and voice," you said, and his lips stretched into the widest smile.

Jongho - singing lullabies for you

☆ Jongho's honey-like voice would melt into another lullaby you asked him for, despite the late hour you were talking at.

☆ You missed your boyfriend's presence—his beautiful gummy smile whenever you told him you loved him, his hugs, everything about him.

☆ And, last but not least, you missed his voice.

☆ You found it hard to sleep without him talking to you, or without hearing him practice another melodious ballad again—and you craved it.

☆ And it seemed like he missed doing these acts of service for you as well;

☆ 'Cause, the second you told him that you wanted to hear him, he didn't hesitate to immediately call you and start to sing another soulful song for you, smiling whenever you complimented him.

☆ His passion was something great to watch too—from the way his eyelashes would stroke his skin whenever he closed his eyes, the way his mouth opened whenever he hits any high notes, to the confidence on his face.

☆ You could swear that your admiration for him painted his cheeks into a crimson blush, yet he couldn't complain, he was proud to have you by his side.

☆ "Can you sing the chorus one more time, please? I don't want it to end before I fall asleep." You asked, looking at him before closing your eyes in order to fall asleep while he was still singing for you.

☆ He let a soft smile appear on his face, singing for you once again and only stopping when you finally fell asleep, whispering a sweet "Good night, sunshine."

[jeankluv]

The prophecy - Gojo Satoru

summary: Gojo Satoru knew he was the strongest, he perfectly knew. But that didn’t mean he didn’t cry and that night while everyone still preparing to fight Sukuna, he cried. He cried because he felt completely alone and only seen as a weapon

paring: Gojo Satoru x gn!reader

tags: angst, canon universe, manga spoilers, Gojo centric, lyrics, fluff, mutual feeling, no use of y/n, Gojo thinks reader hates him, open up for a second part.

note: i wrote this some time ago and never actually posted, everything i have to say is that I love Gojo Satoru so much and i miss him like crazy. If y’all like it I could write a second part and explore more about this pair, but this part is mainly focused on Gojo’s character

words: 1,7k

Jujutsu Kaisen materialist | part 2

“I’ve been on my knees, change the prophecy”

Gojo Satoru only cried four times in his life. The first time he was 5 years old and he wanted to learn to ride a bicycle, but he fell to his knees and bled. The elders of the clan and his parents always told him that he should not cry and that he should be strong, but that day when he got to his room he cried hugging his favorite puppet. 

The second time was when he was 17 years old, Suguru had left and he didn't understand why, again he cried alone in his room wondering if he could have done more for the one who was once his best friend. 

The third time he was 27 years old, it was after killing Suguru, he stood there statically looking at the lifeless body of his old friend and let the tears run down his cheeks. 

The last time was now, when he was 29 years old. And once again he was alone.

He always wondered if his whole life was already written, if there was a prophecy that said that he who possessed six eyes and limitless was destined to always be alone. That was the burden he had to bear for being “the strongest.” 

He wondered if he would be able to change jujutsu society and thus change everything. That if someone in 100, 300 or who knows when had the same powers as him again, they would not have to be alone, that they would not have all that burden from the moment of birth.

Satoru was born with a price on his head, he was used by the higher ups since he was 15 and now he was facing what could be his last battle and ironically if he died they will continue to use him as what they have always made him believe he is. A weapon.

Satoru did not mind dedicating his life to exorcising curses, in fact he liked it and they satisfied him, especially if they were of a high level. But he wanted to stop being alone, he wanted to stop being seen as the strongest, as a weapon to use.

When the idea was proposed to him, the first thing he thought about was what would happen to Yuta. He knew that Yuta could only replicate the techniques for 5 minutes and then he lost them. In the best case scenario, he would return to his original body, right? The second thing he thought was that it wouldn't be necessary, and he was prepared to beat Sukuna, he wasn't going to lose. And the last thing he thought was that he would once again be used.

Now there he was in his room, alone, crying because he just didn’t feel like anyone really cared about him. Why didn’t Shoko object? Why didn’t anyone object to the idea? 

He sighed and throw himself to the bed, looking up to the ceiling of his bedroom, preventing his tears from falling down. 

“Don’t want money, just someone who wants my company”

The door opened letting in light from the hallway, Satoru did not move, he knew the cursed energy immediately. He let you come in and sit on the bed a little away from him.

“I think it’s an awful and dehumanizing plan.” You said.

Satoru chuckled, holding his tears, the room was dark but still he didn’t want you to see him crying. “Can’t believe you are the one standing for me.”

“Don’t get over your head Gojo and besides one of your kids, Yuta also stood for you.” You said. “And I’m pretty sure Shoko hates the idea but believes in you more than anyone else.”

“Really?” He whisked.

“You don’t think like that?” 

“Well…” He sighed. “After feeling all my life used as a weapon by this cracked society, I wasn’t surprised if people were willing to use me as a weapon even after my death.” 

You fell silent, processing Satoru’s words. “Satoru…” He hummed. “You feel lonely?” 

Satoru turned his face towards you, thanks to his six eyes he was able to see you clearly. And why were you crying? You off all the people? You who hated his guts? Why?

“Why are you crying?” Satoru inquired and you wiped your tears away.

“I’m not crying and besides it’s dark you can’t know.”

“I have the six eyes, I see everything.” 

“I doubt…” You whispered.

“What?” Satoru stood up and moved closer to you.

“Nothing.” You tried to avoid him. “Do you like plan B? Be honest.” 

“To be honest, I don’t know.” He sighed. “If I lose… that might be the only way to kill Sukuna and bring Megumi back but I’m worried about Yuta, it would be awful for him to get stock on this body, although I’m pretty handsome.”

“You are not serious.”

Satoru chuckled. “But for real, if that’s the only way… then it’s okay.”

“But it’s not.” You said. “You want to be used as a puppet? As a weapon?!” 

Why were you so sad? So angry?

“All my life it’s been like that, it’s like a prophecy and maybe if I let them use me one more time maybe I can redo that prophecy, so no one else has to go through what I, we went as kids.” 

You stood up from the bed and walked away from it. “I hate you…” You whispered but still Satoru was able to hear you.

“I know you always say how…”

“No.” You shook your head next to the window. “For you to have the six eyes, you’re pretty blind you know?” You chuckled. “You once said that you had the theory that love is the most twisted curse right? Well you were right.” You laughed. “Love really consumes you, especially when the person you love won’t look at you the way you want them to look at you.”

Satoru's heart started to rise with each one of the words you were speaking. He was still confused and overwhelmed by what you were saying.

“It’s funny right?” You said once again. “I’m such a coward and selfish person, silent for over 10 years and now that you are about to face the greatest threat of your life I’m here, making everything about me and my feelings.” You look down. “Please Satoru, let someone assist you during the fight, let me assist you.” You were on the edge of tears. “I’m also a special grade, my kitsune fire technique could help…”

“I work better alone.” He cut you off. 

A silence fell between you too and your nails dug into your palm, causing small wounds. “That’s what everyone has always told you.” You whispered. “But you don’t have to be alone. You don’t have to hold all that weight alone.” 

“Who do I have to speak to, about if they can redo the prophecy?”

Satoru took a deep breath and with a shaky voice, spoke. “I’m the strongest, it’s what I must do, so everyone is okay, so everyone can…”

“Stop with that Satoru! Stop…” You throw your hands to the air. “What about you? I don’t want you to die Satoru, I don’t want you to be used as a puppet.”

“Enough.” He said your name in a whisper. “The decision has been made, I don’t care.” He stood up and walked towards the door.

“You do care…” You whispered. “Because then why would you be crying here, alone?” You walked. “Hiding all your burdens, all your pain for just yourself. Why?” 

Satoru stopped himself and tried to catch his breath but it seemed like the room was running out of air. You walked to him and took his hand on yours and rested your forehead on his back.

“I’m here Satoru…” You whispered against his back.

You felt his grip tighten around your hand and you held onto him tightly as well, letting him know that you were there.

“What should I do?” He whispered.

You stayed silent for a moment and then spoke. “What if you do a binding vow? Just in case Sukuna…” You were unable to say those words.

“A binding vow…”

You nodded against his back. “I know that for it you need to give up something and you probably won’t want to give up what I’m about to suggest…”

“I will.” He turned to look at you. “You suggest that I give up the six eyes, to come back alive.” You nodded. “I will do it.” 

You felt like crying. “Good…” 

Satoru smirked and kissed your forehead. “Thank you…”

“I hope you don’t have to lose it…” You whispered. “I hope you kill Sukuna off and you come back to us, to me.” You whispered the last part.

Satoru hugged in a hug that almost hurt, but that you knew that the both of you needed. 

“It’s late, I should…” 

Satoru didn’t let you move. “Stay…” You froze, not sure what to say or what to do. “You said I never looked at you the way you wished, but…” Your heart started to pump in your chest, you could almost hear it in your ears. “Stay with me tonight, pretend like I’m yours for tonight and let me pretend like you are mine.”

You swallowed and hugged him back. “I don’t want to pretend.”

He giggled with a sad tone. “You will have to wait…” He whispered.

You thighed the grip, not wanting to let him go, afraid of him leaving. “Have you been sleeping?” You whispered.

Satoru shook his head. “Badly… really badly.” 

You caressed his back gently. "Try to sleep." You said and he responded humming. “I hope you can break that prophecy, Satoru.” You whispered and Satoru wrapped his arms around you tighter. 

Satoru hid his face on your neck and in silence he also hoped for that, he hoped to return alive and to be able to finally have someone besides him. To be loved and to be cherished. He hoped he didn’t have to beg anymore and no one else in the future needed to go through what he went through. 

That no was seen as a weapon for the Jujutsu world and their youth was never taken from them. 

Satoru Gojo just hoped for that, for the prophecy to stop, to break. To be happy with those he loved.

[mithrandirl]

i always get questions when i do a split gifset, and it's a deceptively simple process so i thought i'd try to show how i do it! i don't know if these types of gifsets have a more universally recognized name, but that's what i call them so that's what i'm going with.

i'm going to write this assuming you have a solid familiarity with photoshop and making gifs, but please feel free to send me an ask if anything is unclear. i use video timeline/smart objects so will be showing that (here's a great general tutorial on giffing with timeline). i will also be talking A LOT about gif dimensions, so first let's briefly go over the limits and theory a little bit.

a 1 column gifset can accommodate gifs 540 pixels wide

2 columns = 268 pixels each with a 4 pixel gutter between

3 columns = 177, 178, 177 pixels with 4 pixel gutters

i'm mostly going to talk about 2 column split gifs here (what i will refer to as 2x1 from now on - 2 across and 1 high), but the process is the same for 3 column (3x1) and so on (1x2, 2x2, etc).

so, why would you even want to make a gifset like this? i mean, let’s face it, generally, bigger is better for gifs on tumblr, and there are obvious incentives to 540 width gifs over 268 or 177/8 width, especially since the upload limit went to 10MB. but even 10MB isn’t much when you’re talking about high quality footage. gif making is a constant balance between quality (whatever that means to you: frame dimensions, sharpening, coloring, etc) and file size. split gifs are a cheat to that limitation >:)

i personally believe an untapped frontier of tumblr gifmaking is playing with dimensions and time. that sentence makes me sound like an old-timey sci-fi villain, but you get the idea: gifmaking is an art and there are many fun and interesting ways of exploring the medium. you can do a lot with 268 pixels! longer frame loops to gif longer scenes unbroken, bolder coloring on a wide shot you don’t want to pare down. and, a shorter x axis means the y axis’s bang goes a lot further on a buck. also just if you have a 2 column set but only 5 gifs so you need to make one take up 2 slots. there's a lot of reasons but the most important one is it's fun :) here are some examples of other split gifs i've made: x, x, x

this isn't so much a limitation, more of a shift in how you think about gifs, but it's important to remember that each gif should ideally be doing something still. when making split gifs, it’s easy to pick a wide scene without thinking about how it’ll be split down the middle, and then you’re left with a lot of something on one side and a lot of incongruous nothing on the other - or you're left with a person cut in half awkwardly in the middle. so while a split gif can still be a whole scene, you shouldn’t ignore the break and what it means to the bigger picture. now this is personal preference, but i like to play with the break and make it a part of the gifset. mirrored movement, subjects trapped on either side but still talking to each other, a bird flying from one side to the other. fun with frames! it can be another way of drawing attention to specific images/moments/feelings happening within the same shot.

SIMPLE SPLIT GIFS

to more narrowly define what i’m calling “simple split gifs,” it’s one set of frames split down the middle into two separate gifs that are meant to play concurrently, side by side.

first thing's first, crop your gif and uncheck delete cropped pixels if it is not already (very important). i'm cropping it to the 1x1 size, in this case 268x350. if you need to see how the full size will look, you can try it out with 536 first. but this one is pretty easy, this is the exact center of the frame (the left boundary of this crop is the center line) and both their heads fit within their respective 1x1 crop.

then color as you normally would. if your scene is very different one side to the other, it might be easier for you to color on a wider crop and then either crop again or copy paste your coloring to the smaller crop version. i do that with the 2x6s, but it's usually not that big a deal to color the 2x1s with just the small crop on your canvas at the time. this scene is very symmetrical, both in movement and colors, so i'm good.

now the fun part! once you've got one side how you want it, save/export as you normally would. at this point i also like to make a mental note of how many frames there are.

so i have 49 frames and it's still only ~3MB! this is just an example that i picked from my rotk fancy set, otherwise i probably would have made this gif longer.

then onto the other side, so i ctrl + z my way back to my smart object video timeline. to get to theoden i just drag and drop the smart object 268 pixels over. since this one is in the exact center of the image, it even helpfully guides me (this can get annoying if you are NOT giffing the center of the image fyi, but you can always manually go pixel by pixel too if you need to with your <- -> keyboard buttons. just always remember where you started and count accurately). i can never move around my smart object without hiding the adjustment layers on top of it, so you'll see me do that in this screen recording.

see how it corrected me when i dragged it a few pixels down by accident, and with all those pink guidelines? sometimes photoshop is good 😌

then make sure you still like the coloring, adjust whatever needs to be adjusted, but watch out! don't make any major changes because it still has to match the other side. and export again.

what we perceive as 1 series of frames chopped down the middle is just 2 separate gifs with the same frame rate. when tumblr loads the images, it will run concurrently in the post (even though it never does in the draft post 🙄). and that's it!

COMPLEX SPLIT GIFS

again i'm making up terms, but i call anything with more than 2 components a complex split gifset. i've tweaked some things in the process as i went along, but this is generally how i did the lotr series. these sets are basically just many split gifs with transitions. and here's where endurance becomes a factor :) there's a lot of prep done blind. but if set up well, it will be fairly easy to pull together by the end.

first i decide on my dimensions, using my upper bounds to determine how big i'm going to go. since lotr has very nice large file sizes, i can go pretty big without sacrificing much in quality. i decided on 3 rows of 350 pixel height gifs and it's worked well for me. that means my biggest gif will have a total height of 1050 pixels - fun! you could also do 8 rows, with two 2x2s or just a series of 2x1s that transition to 1x1s. there really is no limit to this except your imagination and source material.

i cap everything i'm going to use before i even open photoshop, then do all of them at once. uncheck delete cropped pixels, then i make my gifs! this is where i spend 90% of the time on this set. every gif should be the size of the smallest 1x1 gif (268x350 for me). i make all 10 into a fully colored, separate psd. (and then i usually go back through all of them a few times to get the colors to match better 😅) for the bigger ones (2x1: 536x350 and 2x6: 536x1050), i just crop them as if they were 1x1 but always thinking about how they will look when big. this gets tricky when i do the big one :) my lazy workaround for that is to basically make it twice: one cropped as it will be and one full size for me to color. then i copy and paste all the coloring layers onto the small one and voila, i know that the coloring in the upper right slice will also look good on the bottom left slice 1050 pixels away because i saw it on the full size version.

coloring is probably the biggest thing i'm thinking about with this kind of set. the whole idea is that these gifs are using the same colors, more or less, throughout each phase. even with the 1x1s, they're still part of a larger color concept, and they should (🤞) work with each other.

in a pinch, i like to eyedrop a color from one gif and add it as an accent to another. one of my 1x1s had a much more muted color palette originally, but i wanted it to have deeper blues and yellows to complement the 1x1 that would go next to it, so i added some gradients on lower opacity over it, color picked from other gifs i already colored.

i keep my coloring and the smart object in separate folders to help me in the final step of combining everything, and then i trim everything down to my lowest common denominator of frames. you might think you need to keep frames pretty minimal if you're doing 3 phases with transitions like this, but there's more room to work with on a small gif, in terms of file size. i usually do 30-50 frames for each phase, with the assumption that i'll be adding a transition on each side of each gif that will eat up some frames (i usually do 4-6 frame fade transitions). for the rotk set my final frame count was 129 and i never went over 8MB on a gif, so there's plenty of space play around with things :)

and then, combine! whatever order you start with, you are stuck with (unless you're getting even more complicated, but we won't go into that lol). for these sets i go small 1x1 -> medium 2x1 -> big 2x6. i like to think of it in phases from this point on. small is the first phase, then medium, then big. then i put in the fade transitions, chopping up the first phase gif so the last one will fade into it, restarting the whole cycle seamlessly. i'm just doing a quick and dirty fade here, but here's a tutorial if you want more explanation on transitions.

at this point i save this psd as its position, "top left" or whatever (usually it's a psb by this point too 🥲), just in case i need to go back to it. then i export this first gif and move on to the rest.

it's the same concept as a simple split gif: drag and drop the smart object to the new position, but now there are multiple phases to keep track of. folder organization has been key for me to keep everything straight. i move through the gifs in a backwards S, starting with the top left. but you could go any direction, just gotta stick with it and remember your counts. in my case, i'm always thinking of 268 pixels over and, for the 2x6, 350 up/down. it's a tedious process, but it goes quick (apart from waiting for photoshop to load each time you export).

i did this series as a color concept aesthetic kind of thing, so my theory was by using the same-ish colors throughout, that would save me in the end when it came time to export. there's only 256 colors max to work with on a gif, and that's usually what gets me over the 10MB limit. but as i said, i have never even gotten close to the size limit on this series. it's pretty hard to reach the limit on 268 pixels, but not impossible. (i did run into that on the emma set i did, and that was hell. but also not an impossible fix in the end.)

and that's it! if you try any of this and have trouble, i'm happy to help if i can but mostly this is a "click around and see what works for you" kind of process. and feel free to tag me on your split gifsets :) i love seeing them <3

[jasmineoolongtea]

plastic palm trees ― gojo satoru

caught in a dream, it's not what it seems

contents: gojo satoru x f!reader (exes), from the reader's pov this time, nicknames (sweets), angst, hurt + no comfort, questionable coping mechanism, small moments of happiness/fluff (in the flashbacks/memories), suggestive themes for like one memory, swearing/cursing, insecurities from the reader's side, drinking/alcohol

summary: memories from during and immediately after your relationship with satoru (pt. 2 to deeply still in love)

wc: 4.7k (wow that's a doozy and sorry on my part for any errors you might spot because this is kinda not proofread)

a/n: ahhh ty guys sm for the love on deeply still in love, i was not expecting it to blow up like that but i'm just so happy that you guys also enjoy it as well !!! this is kinda a part 2 but not really since it's mainly flashbacks. there is a part 3/conclusion to this whole mini saga coming soon so watch out for it :000. art by objectgraphy on x (nsfw warning for the full pic)

It plays again in your head like a clip from a movie you've seen way too many times.

It's you and him, just the two of you and no one else, sitting in his stupid beat-up black jeep wrangler that's probably seen too much by this point that's parked in the middle of some random parking lot well past midnight by now.

Satoru always complains that something's broken for the hundredth time whenever he comes to pick you up from your dorm for another one of his late-night rendevous however despite all this complaining, you're always greeted with the sight of the same black car even though you know he has a car collection that's way too extensive for any reasonable university student to have.

You're pretty sure you've lost count of how many times you've asked to just get a new car at this point but he always refuses for some reason that's beyond you.

Nostalgia, he says as he pats the well-worn leather lining of its interior. We've been through a lot, me and this one, he'll add on, talking about the vehicle as a person rather than some inanimate object and then he'll start pouting at you like some sort of petulant child when you stare back at him unconvinced.

There's a part of you that wants to call him a 'sentimental idiot' for stuff like this but actually, habits like this only serve to further endear him to you in some weird twist of fate and you can only muster an affectionate eye roll as a response.

There's no particular reason as to why you and Satoru would drive out and just sit and be together like this. It wasn't even because of this specific parking lot as well since you two would just usually drive around until you found a parking lot that looked empty enough and just park there to bask under the canopy of the night sky above.

It was always so quiet. You liked the quiet.

Before you met Satoru, you thought this quiet was something only you could keep to yourself but he taught you that there was merit to be had in sharing the quiet with someone else. Even if that someone else might make your 'quiet' much louder than what you're typically used to.

"I like it here." You mumble softly in the sleeves of your (his) sweater. It was one of your favourites because it was soft and it smelled like him.

"You like the city?" There's an edge of suspicion in his voice like he can't believe someone could ever like this place coming from someone who's grown up in said city. To be fair, the place had its good, bad and ugly and maybe as a city native, he had become accustomed to more of the bad and ugly rather than the good.

"I mean, it's nicer from where I came from. A lot of places are nicer than the town I'm from." You laugh half-heartedly as you lean against the cold glass of the window.

Satoru goes quiet for a moment. You don't talk about your hometown that much and for good reason, in your opinion. University was one of your few chances to get out of there and you took that chance without so much of a look back or regret in your mind.

It's nice, cosy even, if you ignore the slight tingling sensation crawling up your legs when you sit in the way you like to sit for too long or the fact that you're both hanging out in an abandoned parking lot in the dead of night. Whatever this is, you think you wouldn't change it for the world if you were given the choice.

Too bad, your getaway couldn't last forever.

The words are weighing heavy on your tongue, just there on the tip as if they're ready to jump off any second but you tighten your lips in a frail attempt to stop them from spilling out. You know the words you're going to have to say will change the way that things are, no matter how much you want things to stay like this.

Satoru leans his head against the car window next to him, hitting the glass with a soft bonk that you're sure hurts but of course, he doesn't react to the collision. Instead, his attention is focused on staring at you, angling his body in a way so that he can get a better look at you, with that classic dopey smirk of his plastered on his face as he does.

A part of you hates him for being able to look so good even in the broken glow of the overhead parking lot lights that would have made anyone else look sickly under its cracked yellow hue.

Not him though, never him. He looks like an angel, you think to yourself, with the way the wisps of white hair splayed out around him illuminate into something that resembles a halo which further elevates his already ethereal features into something otherwordly.

"Shame, it can't last though." You murmur quietly to yourself, moreso of in the vein of thinking out loud rather than starting a conversation. Unfortunately for you, it seems he's heard you.

"What do you mean?" He asks, sitting a little bit straighter in the driver's seat as he looks on inquisitively.

You avoid looking back at him because you know if you could see his expression, it would only make saying goodbye harder. "I can't stay, Toru." You tell him as you gaze into the black nothingness of the night sky from inside the car. "I'll have to move back after graduation."

"What? Why?"

"The rent is crazy expensive here. The only reason I can stay here for uni is because of the student pricing and now that we're graduating, there's no way I can afford to find a place in time." You gnaw nervously at the bottom of your lip as you speak, a bad habit, you know, but it's just something you can't really kick.

You don't want it to end like this, who would? You don't want to say goodbye to the city, to your life, to him. You've had your first taste of true independence and it's being taken away from you because of stupid expensive rent prices, of all things.

A very anti-climatic way to go out if anyone were to ask you.

The car is dead silent for a few minutes. You're scared for whatever his reaction is going to be. He's going to break up with you, isn't he? You think to yourself and you hate the fact that your mind instantly jumps to the worst option but you can already feel a pit start forming at the bottom of your stomach .

The longer the silence drags the more you're convinced he's going to kick you out of the car or something worse and you can already feel yourself bracing for whatever fallout is coming your way.

"Then move in with me. I have an apartment here, a pretty good apartment if you ask me." He states, shrugging his shoulders casually as if he were simply talking about the weather instead of suggesting something as major as this.

"...What?" You reply, though your words come out more as a question as you try to comprehend what he's just asked.

A beat of silence passes the two of you. You don't move.

"I'm serious. Move in with me." You scan his face for any of the typical telltale signs that he might be pulling a prank on you and you find his face scarily devoid of any of them.

Oh, he's dead serious, you think to yourself, with the way he's looking expectantly at you.

"Satoru, do you understand what you're asking?" You ask, still in a state of disbelief at his offer.

He makes a face at you like the answer to your question is the most obvious thing in the world.

"Obviously, if I didn't why would I ask you." He remarks as he raises an eyebrow at you and before you can open your mouth to retort back, he brings a finger up to your lips to silence you. "And, it's not that strange of a request considering the fact that you're my girlfriend. Don't people in a relationship usually move in together like isn't that some big relationship milestone that they look forward to?"

"I-I mean it is but still."

"Okay, then what's the problem."

"I don't know." You sigh, mulling over his proposition in your head for a bit before turning back to him.

"Just promise me this, Toru. Promise me you won't get sick of me?" You ask him as you reach out your pinky towards him.

A pinky promise. It's childish you know but Satoru knows how much small things like this mean to you.

He reaches his hand out to you and interlocks his pinky with you but before you can pull away, he laces his other fingers with yours and brings your hands up to his lips for a soft kiss. The tips of your ears burn red at the way his lips brush your skin.

"Sweets, I could never get sick of you. Actually, I don't think I could ever get over you as long as I lived."

"You better hope that's true or I'm gonna make you eat your words." You grin cheekily at him, a smile which he reciprocates tenfold before basically pouncing over the console to wrap his arms around you. A squeal escapes you as you burst out into a fit of giggles as he peppers your face with feather-light kisses all whilst fighting off your weak attempts at pushing him off.

His arms rest against the plush leather of the passenger seat, trapping you against him, as his flurry of kisses dies down. He stops for a second, admiring the sight of you so close to him and a part of you wants to shrink from the intensity of his gaze. Unfortunately with the way that his arms are caging you in, there's nowhere to hide and you're left at his mercy.

Satoru leans closer, barely inches away from your face as he hovers right above your lips. "Oh yeah? Well, you're gonna be waiting for a long time because that's never gonna happen." His lips find their place against yours, melting into you like they were made for you and you think to yourself that this must be what home feels like.

Another memory of a happier time flashes through after that.

This time, you're lost in between the bedsheets with him, bare skin on skin as the two of you whisper sweet nothings to each other like lovers do in the dead of night when there's no one watching.

"I like it here." He mutters softly. His arm is wrapped around your waist, pulling you into him like you're his very own lifeline, and his legs are haphazardly intertwined with yours in some mess of limbs that might be able to pass as an abstract art piece if you look at it right from a certain angle.

The blanket is resting dangerously low around his hips and you're wondering how he isn't freezing as you cling onto him as your own personal space heater in the darkness that surrounds the two of you.

It's quiet once again.

"What? Us naked in your bed?" You quip.

"You know that's not what I meant." He groans into your bare shoulder as you giggle softly to yourself, clearly pleased with your well-timed jibe.

"Sorry, I just had to take the opportunity to tease you."

You can't necessarily see him right now but you're sure he's probably lovingly rolling his eyes at you. A sigh escapes his lips and you shiver slightly from the way the blast of hot air hits your skin.

"I like it here when it's just me and you and there's no one else except us in this world." He confesses to you as his fingers begin to explore the expanses of your body as if trying to commit the way you feel under his fingertips into memory.

You bite the corner of your lip as you fight the urge to shrink under his delicate touch.

There's another jest resting on the tip of your tongue but you decide that Satoru's had enough terrorising on your behalf so you say nothing and instead quietly soak up this rare respite from the busyness of everyday life that has been afforded to you two.

"Just us, together, in this bed where we don't need to care about anything else except just that." He adds on, his voice resolute and although you don't say anything out loud, you think you agree with him.

In here, in between these four walls, you two can pretend that the entire world existed within these confines and all the two of you needed to do was to reach out and you had the world at your fingertips. At the end of the day, it was simple and something the two of you could forever return to.

You wished that things could stay simple.

Before you can linger on that moment any longer, it's gone in the blink of an eye as another memory swoops in to take its place.

The door to your shared apartment creeks open and as you crane your head towards the doorway from your spot on the sofa, you're greeted with the sight of a slightly dazed Satoru clumsily entering.

"What's up?" You ask as you shoot up from your place, quickly making your way across the apartment to check up on him as a pang of concern over his current state hits you.

At the sight of you, Satoru is suddenly drawn back into reality as he blinks owlishly for a few seconds as if attempting to reacquaint himself with his surroundings and bring his clearly distracted mind back into reality.

"I just got a call from my family's company. They're giving me the chance to head a new division they want to expand into." He replies as he runs a hand through his hair, a nervous habit of his which shows that this offer is clearly weighing heavy on him. You take his hand in yours and give it a comforting squeeze in the way that he would do for you all those times before, a gesture you can tell he greatly appreciates with the way his shoulders sag with relief.

He confesses softly to you. "I don't know if I should do it."

"Why? What's holding you back?" You question, somewhat confused by his hesitation. This is a major offer and you're surprised that he isn't jumping off the walls with excitement but you're sure he must have his reasons.

"I just- The hours are going to be long and well, you know how many family is and the elders are-"

You cut him off sharply, sensing that Satoru was on his way down a lengthy ramble. "I think you should take it." He stares at you, almost slightly bewildered at your apt response. "It'll be good for you."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course, I'm sure Toru. If you don't take this opportunity, you're going to regret later down the line." You insist, sending a reassuring smile his way. Even if he can't see it now, you're sure that this going to be good for him. For the both of you.

Whatever new hurdles that might come your way from this like Satoru is convinced is going to happen, you have faith that the two of you can make it out relatively unscathed.

It's good to have faith right?

The new question was, how long can your faith carry you?

You're pacing back and forth in your shared apartment for what seems like the millionth time as you anxiously watch the seconds tick down on the clock.

"Hey, Toru. What time do you think you're going to be back?" You're trying to balance the phone between your ear and shoulder as you smooth out a napkin to the best of your ability. It's looking a little wonky, if you're going to be honest and maybe tonight of all nights wasn't really the time to find out if you were good at folding napkins into fancy shapes like they do at the restaurant but you needed tonight to go according to plan.

It had to. Tonight was an important night for both of you.

"Why, what's the occasion?" From the way he's asking, you don't think he's putting on an act of pretending not to know for the surprise. Rather, it's a genuine question on his behalf and somehow, for some reason, that feels even worse than outright disgust.

"Did you forget?" You feel your voice falter ever so slightly, another crack etching its way onto your already fragile heart. "It's our anniversary dinner."

"Shit, I'm so sorry, sweets. It totally slipped my mind with all of these meetings and stuff they're having me do." You hear an exhausted sigh ring out from the other side of the phone in between the cacophony of other voices taking up space in the background. "I'll make it up to you, I swear."

"...No, It-it's fine. We can just reschedule this stuff for another day." A breathy laugh leaves your lips in a weak attempt to try and convince him that it was truly alright and that it was just something else to brush off.

"...If you say so."

"I'm serious, Satoru. It's fine, I can just reschedule things for another day that's all." Another one to add to the evergrowing pile, a bitter voice barks from within the recesses of your mind.

Much to your chagrin, you're unfortunately becoming much more acquainted with this voice and although you haven't responded to its taunts yet, you can feel your resolve wearing away with each late night you watch the streets below for any sign of life, his life to be specific.

Worst of all, you can't say you regret this, can you? Because if you do, then it would basically be confessing that all of the pain and late nights the both of you have been sacrificing have been all for nought and that you were wrong for pushing the both of you down this path.

It needs to be worth it so that there's a reason for this pain that you're feeling when things like this become an afterthought but you're starting to wonder how many times you have to say it until it becomes real instead of just a pipe dream you had the misfortune of being caught in.

Soon, it seemed that these doubts weren't just one-sided anymore.

"This is good for us, right?" Satoru asks one night as the two of you are getting ready for bed. It's been a while since the two of you have gone to bed at the same time as your clocks fall further and further out of sync the longer you two spend out of each other's embrace. There's a strong hint of uncertainty in his voice like he's trying to convince himself as much as he's trying to convince you. "...You're happy right?"

You don't look at him in the eye. You can't. "Right, yeah. I mean, this is what we want." Your answer isn't as resolute as you hoped that it would come out but you brush past it in the hopes of making sure whatever doubts you may have bubbling underneath your surface remain there.

"You didn't answer my other question."

A nervous laugh escapes you. "What do you mean?"

"Are you happy?" You stop in your tracks for a moment as you process his question.

There were a lot of things you could have said at that time, the truth would have been a good option, but instead, you chose to swallow the difficult choice down and take the easy way out by plastering on a sickly sweet smile and lying to him through your teeth.

"Of course, I'm happy Satoru."

As soon as the words leave your mouth, you're greeted with that oh-so-familiar sensation of that pit in the bottom of your stomach as the bitter voice you've tried to suppress makes its infamous return to the forefront of your mind.

Looking back at it now, maybe you should have said the truth, it would have saved you two a lot of pain in retrospect but pride is a funny thing and you're sure that Satoru was in the same position you were in at this point.

That's probably why he didn't push any further after your response, no matter how fake it probably sounded out loud. It's either that or he wanted to believe that you were actually telling the truth.

You're not sure which one is worse.

In another world, you would like to think that there's a point to your mind deciding to subject you to this trip down memory lane aside from dredging up your past pains and regrets to torture you. Maybe, in this other world, you would have a sudden life-changing revelation awaiting you at the end of the road but all you can see just nothing.

It's better this way, right? For the both of you.

You told yourself that when you sat him down and broke up with him in the total sum of a few sentences before leaving because you didn't want to truly say goodbye to him as that would make everything more real and therefore much worse. You told yourself that when you sat in the backseat of your friend's car they came to pick you up for a night out because they insisted that you needed to get out of your head sometimes. You tell yourself this when you stare into the barrel of the gun in the form of the glass of alcohol sitting in front of you.

He deserves better than being lied to on the daily and someone like you holding him back. You can't even remember the last time you actually, truly looked him in the eye for longer than a few seconds. You imagine the old you who loved to get lost in the vast expanses of his cerulean eyes that would gaze at you like you were the one who personally hung the stars in the sky.

Before, if his eyes were the great roaring ocean, you would gladly let yourself get pulled under by the tide even if it meant drowning in its depth. Now, you're scared to even dip your toes in the shoreline when the wave is nothing more than just the remnants of sea foam.

You reach over for another sip, pretending like the burning aftertaste left in its wake doesn't make you want to wince.

Maybe Satoru was onto something with his dislike of alcohol. You've learned that after a few drinks, all liquor, no matter the amount of zeros slapped onto the end of its price tag starts to taste the same by the end of the night.

There's just so much of him everywhere. In the objects, the, hell even the air. You think you might suffocate from the sheer amount of him you're surrounded by. It doesn't matter where you go, all you can see is him.

You needed to get out.

Pushing past the crowd all whilst ignoring the confused calls of your friends to your sudden switch in behaviour, you stumble your way to the bathroom and lock the door behind you as you slump down defeated next to the sink.

Truth be told, his question haunts you more than you would like to admit.

"Are you happy?"

You don't think you are. Maybe you should be, you have everything that would usually qualify for someone to answer that they are happy and you're no longer that struggling student you were a few years ago which is definitely a plus.

You tell other people that you are 'happy' when they ask, with a smile that never reaches your eyes and a grip that's probably too tight on whatever you're holding in your hands at the time but the answer never feels right, no matter how many times you say it out loud and let it roll off your tongue.

Despite what you tell yourself, perhaps the time when you were happy, truly happy, was when you were with him.

Deep down, you think that if you were given the choice between now and then, you would trade all of this for a chance to be those dumb kids sitting and making out in parking lots without a care in the world except for each other again in a heartbeat.

As you study the tiles of the wall opposite you, you think to yourself that it would be nice to stay here in this bathroom, far away from the rest of the world and far away from what feels like all your regrets personified but the logical, reasonable part of you knows that there's no way you could realistically stay here any longer before your friends start worriedly banging on the door.

Slowly, your shoulders deflate with a defeated sigh as you stand up and make your way out of whatever bar you've been dragged to as you bid your friends goodbye in a way that you hope doesn't raise any suspicions.

The air feels bitingly cold as the wind nips at your face while you stand awkwardly on the curb, waiting for a taxi as you go to both the first and last place you want to be at; your apartment. Ironically, in a cruel twist of fate, the total absence of anything relating to Satoru only makes his lack of presence only more pronounced.

If this was the universe's doing, then you had a few choice words for them to say the least.

You wrap your arms around yourself in a vain attempt to maintain some semblance of body heat as you quickly flag down the nearest car and clamber in. When you arrive back, you glance at the clock and you have to fight the urge to let out a laugh when you see that it's barely even past 10pm and you're already back at home.

Pathetic, the bitter voice in your head spits out.

You do what you do best and ignore it as you collapse into the embrace of your bed and try your bed to lull yourself to whatever empty dreamscape awaits you this time if only to get a moment away from your current reality. It doesn't last long though because you're awoken by the shrill ringing of your phone.

Should have silenced it, you curse yourself silently as you blindly reach for it. Once it's in your hands, you squint as the blinding brightness of the screen and a flicker of recognition flashes through you as you realise who's actually calling you and for some reason, against your better judgment, you pick up.

When you hang up, you don't go back to sleep. Rather, you're unable to go back to sleep as you're left staring blankly at the ceiling above you. The bed feels too big for one person and you find yourself missing the nights where you could go to sleep alone and wake up in the arms of another.

Much like when you're forced to watch a replay of all your memories, you're wondering if what you said was right. If you were to go by what you've been telling yourself since the breakup, then sure, you did the right thing. But if it is truly the right thing, then it doesn't explain this inexplicable emptiness gnawing deep within your chest or this aching feeling that sits in a place you can't quite reach but are all too aware of.

The longer you let your mind run through all the possibilities you can think of, the more often you find yourself coming back to the same conclusion. It's better this way, be damned, you think to yourself and with that, you make up your mind to set off on a mission.

Out of all of the places you could have found yourself at, this is definitely quite down low on the list and maybe this is what you deserve for trusting your feet instead of your head but you decide that at this point, you don't have much else to lose and so, you gather up the courage to say the words that you've been waiting to say for a while.

"Hi."

[ghcstpyre]

PINKIE SWEAR.

*•.¸♡ ted "theodore" logan x f!reader

PART ONE. ted is still a virgin. you offer to change that.

contents: virgin!ted, afab!reader, a bit of fluff, angst if you squint, post-excellent adventure, pre-bogus journey, drug use (weed), fingering (f receiving), oral (m receiving), slight praise kink, unprotected p in v sex. MINORS BEGONE!

word count: 7.5k

a/n: after sitting in my drafts for 2 months, it's finally here! i'm so excited to get this one out of my brain and into writing and i really hope you enjoy reading it as much as i've enjoyed/am going to enjoy writing it! :)

taglist: @scarlettspectra

The thick smell of weed hung heavy in the air of Bill and Ted's apartment, its source pinched between your index and middle finger. You'd perched yourself atop the kitchen countertop in one of the few un-cluttered spaces, lazily toking from the joint in your hand.

It was evening in the middle of July and the colours of the sunset shone through the little window opposite you, bathing the messy kitchen in a gold and orange glow. You and Ted had forgotten to crack open a window before you lit up, but by the time either of you had realised you were both too baked to care and the damage had already been done.

Ted was sat on the sofa, his old acoustic guitar in his hands, fingers plucking away an unknown tune. Or maybe it was a tune you should know, but the fingers on the strings were too inexperienced for you to be able to tell what it was. His guitar playing skills had improved somewhat since the History Report fiasco, but not by a huge margin.

You thought that having a literal princess as a girlfriend to impress would help spur him on, and for a time it had done, but you'd noticed Ted becoming more withdrawn since his relationship with Elizabeth had ended. He 'd been pretty torn up over it at the time, but it had been over a month now since they ended things on friendly terms and you'd picked up on his change in demeanor.

It felt cruel, but you couldn't say you were too heartbroken for Ted when he broke the bad news to you. The thick, green worm of jealousy had wriggled its way under your skin and buried itself within your chest the moment Ted introduced Elizabeth to you as his girlfriend. It had been festering there ever since, making its nest within your heart.

Of course, it was your own fault for realising your feelings for Ted a little too late. Everyone always said 'better late than never', but you didn't think you could apply it to the crappy situation you found yourself in.

But now Ted was single again. It seemed the universe had decided to give you another chance.

Slowly, you tilted your head to the side, dragging your gaze away from the view of the sunset to look at the object of your affection. He'd gone from plucking the strings to strumming them listlessly, clearly a million miles away.

Your whole body thrummed with the buzz of your high, a faint ringing in your ears. You knew you were high as hell - it felt like your skull had been stuffed full of cotton wool and your eyes were heavy, sclera tinted red and lids droopy.

As heavy as your eyes felt, you managed to drag your gaze across Ted's form. His mop-like, dark brown hair had fallen into his face like it usually did, but the blazing glow of the sunset shining through the living-room window cast an orange halo around his head, making him look almost angelic. The usual chocolate hues of his eyes were glittering hazel as he sat with the guitar in his hands, basking in the warmth of the setting sun.

Your eyes followed the movements his large hands made on the strings and fretboard of the beat-up guitar. There were a few stickers littered around the front of its body, faded and torn with age, and scratch marks where someone had obviously tried to peel stickers off with little to no success.

For a brief moment, like you'd done so many times in the past, you imagined what it'd be like to have Ted's hands on your body, his fingertips rough and hardened from the strings of his guitars. That familiar and inevitable heat sparked in your core and you squeezed your thighs together against the slight pulsing between your legs.

"Hey," Your voice was mellow and slow as you tried to get Ted's attention. "You gonna help me smoke this or what?" You asked, holding the joint out in his direction.

Ted was promptly pulled away from his thoughts at the sound of your voice, hands ceasing their movements on the acoustic guitar as he looked over at you, and then at the smoke pinched between your fingers. A lopsided grin tugged at his lips. "Oh, yeah."

He set the guitar down next to him and pushed himself up from the dingy green sofa, the old springs within it groaning in protest at the sudden shift in weight. The soles of his white sneakers squeaked on the tiles of the kitchen as he eagerly stumbled his way from the living room, still feeling the effects of your last spliff.

His long fingers took the joint from your own and he settled opposite you, leaning up against the counter next to the sink, just in front of the fish bowl. He lifted it to his pink lips and took a nice, long drag, the cherry on the end burning as orange as the sunset. After a few beats of holding it in, Ted released the smoke in one long exhale, filling the space between you with a thick, pungent cloud.

The red basketball shorts Ted wore hung low on his hips, the waistband of his boxers poking out above them and concealing just below the bottom of his dark snail trail. You had to do your best to drag your eyes away from the mouth-watering view and instead focused your gaze on his chest. It wasn't any less tantalizing - his old San Dimas High School tank top was a little too small for him now and clung to his torso in all the right places, giving you a wonderful view of the slight muscle definition on his body and arms that he usually hid behind baggy t-shirts and jackets.

It wasn't until he'd said your name for a third time that you realised Ted was trying to get your attention. "You okay there dude?" He asked, genuine concern in his eyes, sclera just as bloodshot as yours and lids just as heavy.

You swallowed hard as you composed yourself, offering him a reassuring smile and hoping he hadn't caught you checking him out. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just really stoned."

Ted gave you an amused smirk in return, flashing you with a bright, toothy grin as he brought the joint to his lips once again. "Excellent."

You muffled a snort against your hand. The way Ted and Bill spoke was something you'd always found equal parts amusing and endearing. It was goofy, but somehow you felt it added to Ted's strange charm.

A soft padding could be heard below you as you lightly swung your legs back and forth, your heels knocking against the cupboard door as you watched Ted pull from the spliff. His features took on a somber edge and his eyes glazed over slightly, clearly miles away once again.

"Hey, Ted? Are you okay?" Your voice was soft, cautious almost, as you got his attention. "You've been kind of distant lately. I know breaking up with Elizabeth must've been tough but...do you wanna talk about it?"

He regarded you silently, pursing his lips a little with a slight furrow in his brow. Ted's gaze fell to his feet and he tapped the tips of his sneakers together. Eventually, he nodded. "...Yeah, " His voice was hoarse, almost like the word was a struggle for him to get out. "I think talking might do me some good."

It hurt seeing Ted so visibly deflated like this, but you were glad he was willing to finally open up about things - even if it did mean you had to listen to him pine over his ex. Still, more than anything you just wanted to be there for your friend, as a friend.

Ted offered you a grateful smile, the corners of his full lips quirking upwards beautifully. He reached out to pass you the joint and tingles ran up your arm as your fingers brushed his before taking the joint from him. He swallowed thickly, trying to figure out where and how to begin while he watched you fumble with the lighter, sparking the smoke up again and breathing new life into the cherry on the end.

"It's just...bogus, y'know?" He started, running a hand through his glossy hair. "Elizabeth was my first proper girlfriend - she, Bill, Joanna and I basically did everything together. Being with them was always a most excellent time."

You nodded along as he spoke, toking from the joint and turning your head away slightly to blow the smoke out, away from Ted's face. The green worm coiled around your heart squeezed.

"But now it's just the three of us and I'm a total third wheel all the time. Or - or it's the three of them, without me. Elizabeth said we're still friends but that she needs some time - which is perfectly okay, I mean, I'm not about to force things like a dickweed or something, but..." A long, frustrated sigh left his lips.

Ted already felt like a complete jackass for feeling this way about his friends, and even more so for complaining about them in the open like this. Friends weren't supposed to talk smack about each other behind their backs. He looked at you from beneath his long, dark lashes, almost like he was seeking your approval. He'd always had a nasty habit of second guessing himself - undoubtedly put there by his asshole of a father - but this was uncharted territory for him and he felt like a fish out of water.

Sensing his need for guidance, you tilted your head and offered him a sympathetic smile. "You miss your friends." You finished for him.

He nodded slowly, the tension in his shoulders he didn't even realise was there beginning to ease. "Yeah, exactly." He looked up at you properly, meeting your gaze. "It's why I'm most grateful for you offering to hang out so often since Elizabeth and I split. It's been a totally lonely time, but seeing you has made it a bit easier."

Your chest tightened and your heart stuttered. Of course you'd wanted to be there for Ted as he dealt with his first breakup, but you couldn't deny that there were selfish motivations lurking beneath your good intentions. Guilt mingled with the fluttering of your heart.

"I'm always gonna be there for you during your hours of need, dude." You smiled.

Ted watched as you puffed from the joint again and blew out the thick cloud through your plush lips. The smoke rising from the glowing cherry swirled as it hung in the air, twisting around you lazily like a living thing, high off its own fumes and glowing in the light of the sunset. His chocolate brown gaze dropped to the KISS logo plastered over the chest of the t-shirt you wore - his t-shirt that you'd stolen some time ago now.

Elizabeth always told him it was strange that he let you wear his clothes sometimes, but he never thought anything of it. It was only now, however, that he noticed just how much he liked it when you did.

Is that weird? Ted thought to himself. Since when did she get so...bodacious?

He'd always thought you were pretty, but there was something different about you that he'd started to notice. Ted found his gaze lingering on you longer than it should, sometimes on places he definitely shouldn't be looking at. Especially now with the light of the sunset setting the colour of your hair ablaze, his t-shit hanging comfortably on your body, and your summer short-shorts clinging to your upper thighs.

His eyes dropped a little lower as the comfortable silence you found yourself in stretched on a bit longer. He noticed the way the flesh of your thighs spread out on the countertop, the bare skin below your shorts sticking to the marble in the summer heat. Ted swallowed thickly before looking you in the eye once again.

You noticed the way his eyes trailed over your body but decided not to comment, despite the way your heart hammered in your chest. "Plus, I guess this makes band practice difficult. That's gotta be frustrating."

"Yes! God, yeah, it is most vexing." Ted looked at you like you'd just put everything he'd been feeling over the last few months into words. If he'd known how liberating it would be to vent his frustrations, he would've come to you to talk sooner. You always had a knack for finding the words to describe how he felt. "How is Wyld Stallyns gonna be the most triumphant rock band in history if we can't even practice?"

A giggle slipped past your lips, glad that he seemed to have perked up a little. Wyld Stallyns were terrible, but you'd supported them unconditionally no matter how bad they sounded. "Just give it more time, Ted. I promise you she'll come round and you guys will be able to practice and hang out again just like you used to. You're doing really well, just have a little more patience."

The idea of Elizabeth and Ted spending time together again didn't exactly fill you with glee, but you doubted they'd get back together - at least, not immediately. You hoped.

His eyes dropped to your thighs again as you passed the joint back to him, the tip of his tongue poking out to wet his lips. "There's...kinda something else that's been bugging me, but I don't know if I should..." Ted trailed off, a light pink hue rising to his cheeks.

"Go on," You urged, nodding at him to continue. If there was more weighing on him, you wanted to coax it out of him.

He avoided your gaze, eyes sliding off to the right. "Okay...y'know how Bill and I explained that the princesses are...chaste?" You nodded and hummed in understanding. "Well, it took me eighteen years to finally get a girlfriend. Now I'm twenty-three, single and there are things that most guys have done by now that I still haven't experienced." The embarrassment was evident on his face; he couldn't meet your gaze at all.

You simply blinked at him, processing his words. Then, the penny dropped. "You're a virgin?" Your mouth was blurting the words before you could stop them.

Ted's cheeks flushed crimson and he let out a frustrated groan. Although he completely respected Elizabeth's boundaries and was more than happy to have waited until marriage to finally experience the intimacy he craved, he couldn't deny that it had been a ball-ache - metaphorically and in some cases, physically. Bill had cracked a joke about their right hands being their second girlfriends; at the time Ted had found it funny, but now it just depressed and frustrated the hell out of him.

"No-!" He raised his voice slightly in defense, almost offended by the 'V' word. He shook his head. "-I mean yes? I mean-" The hand that wasn't holding the spliff reached up to drag his palm over his face as he visibly deflated. "It just sucks, dude. I feel super lame." He let out another long sigh, defeated.

Ted brought the joint to his lips, taking one final, long drag before stubbing it out in one of the nearby dirty mugs in the sink. He looked back down at his shoes again, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his shorts.

"Teddy, hey," The nickname caught his attention, but he didn't have the courage to meet your gaze just yet. You unstuck your thighs from the kitchen counter and hopped down, stepping forward to close the distance between the two of you. When he still refused to acknowledge you, you brought your hands up to rest on the sides of his exposed biceps and squeezed gently. "Teddy, look at me."

He hesitated for a moment before lifting his head to look at you and your sweet smile.

"You're not lame. Like, at all." You reassured him, your thumbs rubbing slow, comforting circles on his skin. "In fact, I think it's totally chivalrous of you to have waited for Elizabeth."

Ted tilted his head to the side like a confused puppy. "...You think so?"

Cute. You thought.

"Of course!" You smiled brightly at him, having to tilt your head up to look him in the eye. "Not many guys would do that. Most would just get bored and dump their girlfriend after a few weeks so they could go and get some."

His face soured at the notion. "Heinous."

You giggled and his expression immediately brightened as the sweet sound filled the kitchen, his dark hair falling into his eyes as he dipped his head down and chuckled. That was one thing he always liked about you - your laugh. Especially when he was the reason for it.

You retracted your hands from his arms and he mourned the loss of contact, his skin tingling where your thumbs had been circling.

"Besides, there's nothing bad about it. Everyone experiences things at different paces. Like, you smoked weed before I did." Your words had a small grin pulling at the corners of his mouth. "Do what you wanna do at your own pace and don't care about what anyone else thinks. Just because you haven't had sex yet doesn't make you any less of a catch."

He lifted his head to look at you again. "Thanks, babe. I really do appreciate it."

The bright expression on his face was the sign you needed to know you'd made him feel better, at least for the time being. The two of you stood there for a few moments, dissolving into stoned giggling. Ted's cheeks were flushed and his eyes shimmered with mirth, the sight being enough to make you swoon internally.

With the orange glow behind him, Ted looked like a dream. A dream you wanted to be a part of.

Hold on a moment. Did Ted call you babe?

An idea popped into your baked mind, head still hazy from the joint you'd just smoked. You weren't really sure if it was a good idea, but you figured if it all blew up in your face you could just blame it on the weed. The last thing you wanted to do was ruin the friendship you had with Ted, especially since his others were currently rocky, but you were high and you wanted him.

"Hey..." You started, your heartbeat picking up the pace. "...If you're still worried about that kind of stuff, I could help out."

Ted's giggles died down and he cocked his head at you in confusion once again. "Huh? What d'you mean?"

Of course he had to pick now to be dense. "Well, y'know..." You tilted you head forward and looked up at him from beneath your lashes, hoping he'd get the message.

His brows raised in recognition and he formed an 'o' with his lips before breaking out into a grin. "Ooohh, you wanna be my wingman?"

You scrunched your face up. "What? No."

"Then whaddya mean?"

"You know what I mean!"

"Babe, I have no idea what you're saying."

"Do you wanna have sex with me?"

The smoke still swirling between you seemed to freeze in place, your words hanging heavy between the two of you. You could feel how hot your cheeks were and you could hear your pulse thumping in your ears, but you were determined to hold his startled gaze.

Ted simply blinked at you, completely dumbstruck, the gears in his head whirring as he tried to process what you'd just said. He was struggling to comprehend if he had actually heard you correctly or not.

You worried your bottom lip between your teeth, chewing on the soft flesh nervously and your eyes were trained on his every movement like a hawk. His silence didn't comfort you and although it only lasted for a few moments, to you it felt like an age before he finally responded.

"I...uh...huh?"

Anxiety simmered in your stomach, threatening to bubble over into frustration. You were already embarrassed enough as is and Ted's utter confusion didn't help your hammering heart.

You breathed in slowly, trying to calm your nerves. "Do you wanna hook up?" A small, shy smile tugged at the corners of your lips. "With me?"

Ted's heart thumped rapidly beneath his tank top and your eyes followed his Adam's apple as it bobbed up and down. His hands trembled slightly within his pockets - equal parts nerves and desire. Ted was usually one to articulate himself using large, goofy hand gestures, but right now he was glad his hands were tucked away so you couldn't see how much his hands shook.

"Are you - are you serious?" He asked, his deep voice cracking adorably.

A few strands of hair fell into your face as you nodded, your fingers fiddling with the hem of your t-shirt. "Y-Yeah. I mean, we're both high, we're friends-" You swallowed thickly and wet your lips with the tip of your tongue. Ted's eyes followed the movement and you took a small step forward, "-You're cute...plus, it'll mean you'll have one less thing to worry about, right?"

His eyes flicked up to your eyes, down to your lips, then back to meet your gaze again. It didn't go unnoticed.

One of Ted's hands retracted from his pocket to reach out and gently brush away those fallen strands of hair from your face, tucking them behind your ear. You were sure then, if it could've done, your heart would've leapt right out of your chest and into his hand. Your breath hitched and your smile turned from shy to hopeful.

"I...yeah, I guess that makes sense." Heat rose to Ted's cheeks and his smile matched your own before faltering slightly. "But, won't it make things, like, totally weird between us?"

You shook your head. "Nah. I promise we'll still be friends afterwards." Lifting a hand, you wiggled your pinkie finger in front of him. "Pinkie Swear."

With a small, amused huff, Ted linked his little finger with yours and held it for a few beats before pulling you towards him using your pinkie. The hand that had remained inside his pocket moved to rest on the curve of your hip, his thumb rubbing your soft skin over the material of your top. Your own free hand came to tentatively rest on his chest.

Now that your hips were almost flush against his, and thanks to his loose-fitting shorts, you could feel his length pressed against your thigh. He was already a bit hard.

"Is that a yes?" Your voice was breathless as you asked, not expecting the sudden surge in confidence after his initial confusion and bashfulness.

Ted's voice was low and husky when he responded, his tone immediately causing heat to pool between your legs. He leaned in, plush pink lips only an inch away from yours.

"Hell yes."

Finally, Ted's lips captured yours in a kiss that, for you at least, felt like a long time coming. The nervous simmering in your tummy exploded in the form of happy fireworks as his lips moved slow and tender over your own, giddiness and lust threatening to take you over.

This was Ted's first time so you were determined to keep your own desires in check - to go at his pace.

His pinkie finger released yours in favour of snaking his hand around your neck to cradle the back of your head as he towered over you, lips still connected to yours. Your own hand lingered in place for a second before joining the other on his broad chest, savoring the feeling of his excited heartbeat against your palms.

You pulled away from each other for a moment to catch your breath. Ted's pupils were blown wide with desire, his deep brown eyes looking like inky black pools. Combined with the crimson hue blooming across his cheeks, your best friend looked absolutely delicious.

Neither you nor Ted could believe this was actually happening.

"Whoa..." A big, toothy grin spread across his freshly kissed lips.

You didn't even get a chance to respond before Ted's mouth descended upon yours again, this time with a little more urgency. The hand that gripped your hip circled around your waist to hold you tightly against him while his other threaded his fingers through your hair. You practically melted into him, raising onto the balls of your feet to wrap your arms around his neck and push him back against the counter behind him.

The ache between your legs urged you on. You traced your tongue along Ted's bottom lip, desperate for more. He was more than happy to oblige, parting his lips for you and letting out a soft groan as your tongue slid against his.

You were sure that that little sound was enough to send you to heaven. Or at the very least, would be living in your head rent free for the next...well, forever.

The inside of your mouth tasted like weed, smoke and the chocolate you'd snacked on earlier when the munchies hit, and Ted briefly wondered if there was any part of you in that moment that he didn't find completely intoxicating. Every kiss, every touch, every swipe of your tongue had his cock throbbing inside his shorts, straining against the fabric and aching for attention.

Without even realising it, Ted began grinding his rigid length against your thigh, pulling a little gasp from your lips. The friction paired with your tongue in his mouth was almost enough to make his toes curl in his sneakers.

Ted could count on one hand the number of girls he'd kissed, but this was by far the best kiss he'd ever had.

Why hadn't he done this with you sooner?

Sensing his need, you slid the palms of your hands down his torso to the waistband of his boxers. His breath hitched in his throat and his dick twitched with anticipation as you smiled against his plush lips, your fingers dipping just below the elastic to toy with the waistband.

"Can I touch you?" You breathed against his mouth, desperate to feel the size of him in your hands, in your mouth, and buried deep inside you.

Ted's eyes fluttered open and he nodded, letting out a shaky breath. "Y-Yeah."

In one swift motion you pushed down his boxers and shorts, letting them pool around his ankles as you sunk down to your knees. His cock sprung free, long with a thick vein running up the underside and a lovely pink head, a bead of precum already forming at the tip.

He was absolutely gorgeous. If you weren't wet before, you were surely soaking through your panties by now.

You reached your hands up to run your fingers down his flat stomach, trailing them over his cute snail trail and through the dark thatch of curls sitting above where you wanted to be most. He watched you the whole time through heavily-lidded eyes, his bottom lip caught between his pearly white teeth.

The sight of you on your knees before him was the hottest thing he'd ever seen and you hadn't even touched him yet.

Ted's whole body jolted as you wrapped a hand around his shaft, your other hand resting on his thigh. You gave his cock a few slow, long strokes, looking up and drinking in the sight of him as he gripped onto the edge of the kitchen counter and gazed down at the most excellent view of you with his dick in your hand.

The whimpers that escaped him were all the encouragement you needed. Without warning you leaned in to lick a hot, wet stripe up the underside of his shaft and press a kiss to his wet tip. Ted practically keeled over, inhaling sharply.

"You okay?" You asked, concern swimming with the lust in your eyes as you pulled back a little.

Ted nodded, the corners of his lips quirking upwards in a small, sheepish smile. "Y-Yeah, I'm good. Just wasn't, uh, expecting that."

You squeezed his thighs affectionately. "Want me to carry on?"

"God yes."

Having the go-ahead, you leaned in again and took the head of his throbbing cock into your mouth.

"Oh fuck."

Ted managed to release the vice grip he had on the countertop to thread his fingers through the hair on the top of your pretty head as you began bobbing your head, the other hand still gripping onto the counter for dear life. You took a little more of him into your mouth with each motion, swirling your tongue around the swollen head when you pulled back.

"Fuck babe, that feels so good."

The salty taste of his precum on your tongue sent bolts of heat straight to your core, now hyper aware of the aching need between your legs. Unable to handle it anymore, your spread your thighs apart and slid one of your hands into your shorts to rub slow circles on your clit through the damp fabric of your panties.

It was taking all of Ted's willpower and restraint to not buck his hips forward into the warm, wet heat of your mouth. The sight of you touching yourself as you sucked his dick was almost too much for him to handle and he had to clap the hand that white-knuckled the counter over his mouth to muffle the loud moan that slipped out.

His moan was like music to your ears. You needed to hear more. Steeling yourself, you pulled your wet lips off his cock with a pop, inhaled deeply, and then took his entire length down your throat. You squeezed your eyes shut as the coarse curls of his dark pubes tickled your nose and you moaned around his girth as your fingers worked on your sensitive bud.

"Oh shit," Ted practically yelled, throwing his head back and letting out a long, low groan of pleasure. His fingers tightened in your hair and his toes curled in his shoes as he desperately fought against the urge to cum down your throat there and then.

He pulled on your hair, gentle enough to not hurt you, but hard enough to get you to drag your mouth from his dick.

"Fuck babe - I almost came." Ted panted, completely breathless as you gazed up at him, tears pricking at the corners of your glassy eyes and your lips were red, swollen and shiny with spit.

He unthreaded his fingers from your hair to help you up to your feet and immediately pull you in for another kiss, each press of his lips harder and hungrier than the last. His hands were quick to find your hips and you gasped against his mouth as he squeezed them tight and kicked his boxers and shorts from around his ankles.

Ted began pushing you backwards until your lower back hit the edge of the counter. His irises were completely engulfed by his inky black pupils and his large hands slid up underneath your t-shirt, savouring the feeling of your soft skin beneath his palms as they travelled up your waist to your ribs.

His burning desire was swallowing him whole and he was acting purely on impulse. Ted had been worried he'd fumble this with his lack of experience, but judging by the way you responded to his advances and touches, it seemed that just letting go was working in his favour.

Before you could say anything Ted's lips were on yours again, his kisses absolutely feverous and starting to make your head spin. Just as you pulled away to catch your breath, his hands cupped your breasts and squeezed gently. Your head lolled back and you pushed your chest forward into the sensation, seeking more attention. Ted was more than happy to oblige, kneading the soft flesh of your tits beneath your top with his large hands.

You twitched and let out a needy whine when one of Ted's thumbs grazed over your nipple, his mouth swallowing that sweet sound. He pulled his lips away from yours to repeat the motion again, this time circling both his thumbs over your hard, sensitive nubs. Wonder swam in his jet black eyes as he watched you arch your back into his touch and gasp, unconsciously canting your hips into his and gripping onto his broad shoulders.

Your fantasies could never have prepared you for the real thing. The pads of his fingertips were hard and rough from the hours upon hours he'd spent almost every day pouring over his beloved Gibson, and they felt heavenly on your soft skin as they trailed down from your breasts to your hips once again.

"Can I...?"

Ted's voice was hoarse as he mumbled against your lips, his fingers toying with the button of your denim shorts as he pulled back slightly to meet your heavy gaze. He knew he'd need guidance for what came next and he prayed to the gods of music (Oh great god of metal, Mr Osbourne, dude...please don't let me fuck this up!) that you would be willing to help him out without too much judgement.

If you were to laugh at him, he was sure he'd shrivel up and die on the spot.

You blinked up at him and smiled, giving him the go-ahead with a confident nod. Despite the way his hands trembled, Ted popped open the button on your shorts and shimmied them down over your hips and thighs, taking your panties with them.

Rather than letting you step out of the material, Ted lifted you up to place you back in the space on the kitchen counter you'd been sat in before. The bright, toothy grin on your face told him that that was definitely the right move. He had a feeling that all those evenings spent watching raunchy rom-coms with Bill, Joanna and Elizabeth were going to come in handy.

Ted paused, his shoulders tensing. Wait, no. He shouldn't be thinking about Elizabeth right now.

He was promptly pulled from his thoughts by your legs hooking around his hips and pulling him into the space between your parted thighs, your hands finding their way to his broad shoulders once again.

"You okay?" You asked, sensing his hesitation.

It was incredibly difficult to ignore the press of his erection against your inner thigh, but you wanted to make sure he was still okay with what was happening between you before you went any further.

He nodded, albeit stiffly, and the tips of his ears burned hot. "Y-Yeah, just...I, uh, might need some help with this part."

The sweet smile that you gave him had his heart doing flips within his ribcage. "That's cool," You said, your fingers twirling in the incredibly soft, dark hair at the base of his skull as your voice took on a lighter tone. "I happen to be intimately familiar with myself so I'm really gonna be the best teacher you'll get right now."

Your words drew an amused huff from Ted and the tension in his shoulders eased off. "Awesome. So, um, how do you like to be touched?"

It was such an innocent question but it made your pussy throb something fierce.

You took one of his hands into your own and brought his thumb to your lips. Ted's eyes zeroed in on your mouth and he inhaled sharply as you sucked on it. You coated the appendage with spit before guiding it down to your clit, his head dipping as he followed your movements.

"Here," You shuddered as his callused pad pressed against your little bundle of nerves. "Start with slow circles."

Ted did as he was told and began moving his thumb in slow, steady circles over your clit, mesmerized by the sight and sensation of your sensitive flesh beneath his touch. The soft sighs of satisfaction coming from you spurred him on and he picked up the pace. His other hand moved back underneath your top to gently pinch your nipple.

You gasped and spread your legs further, scooting to the edge of the counter and seeking more of that delicious friction.

"Want your fingers in me, Ted."

Uncertainty and lust swam in his eyes as they snapped back to yours, his cheeks flushed a wonderful shade of pink.

"Don't worry," You comforted. "I'll guide you."

Doing his best to steady the tremble in his hand, Ted dragged his middle finger over your slick folds to gently rub at your entrance. The corners of his plush lips quirked upwards - you were so wet. Not just wet, you were soaked.

"Whoa, babe. You're totally dripping wet right now." Ted grinned, flashing you with a bright, toothy smile filled with pride.

Giddiness bubbled in your chest, delight rushing throughout your body and you curled your toes. You matched his grin. "Duh; my hot best friend is about to fuck me. Of course I'm wet."

He blinked at you owlishly and his cock twitched against your inner thigh. "...You think I'm hot?"

You hesitated before nodding. "I...have done for a while-"

Your confession was cut off by a gasp as Ted slid his finger inside you without warning. The walls of your pussy instinctively squeezed his long digit as he slowly pumped it in and out of you experimentally, his eyes on your face the whole time to check for any signs of discomfort.

"That's it," You breathed. "Now add another finger."

Ted savoured your praise did as he was told, pulling his hand back to push both his middle and ring finger into you. You moaned softly this time and lifted your knees to give him better access and a better angle, the slight stretch filling you will a little more satisfaction.

You'd gotten so used to the feeling of your own touch you'd almost forgotten what it felt like with someone else. God, you missed this.

"Ah!" Pleasure shot through your nerves when his long digits brushed against that sweet spot deep inside you. "There, Teddy - curl your fingers right there."

He pushed his fingers into you to the knuckles and curled them as you said, his calloused fingertips rubbing against your g-spot and pulling more delightful sounds from your lips as he fingered you. Ted could feel the way your walls clenched around his digits and the wet sounds of your soaking cunt taking his fingers so easily had him so hard it almost hurt.

Judging by your reactions he was pretty damn sure he was making you feel good, but he wanted to hear you say it - no, he needed you to tell him.

"Is that good?"

The doe-eyed look on his face paired with his fingers working you like magic was enough to make you whimper. He may not have been able to play the guitar that well, but he was playing your pussy well enough to have you singing.

"Y-Yes," You nodded as your thighs began to tremble. "Feels so fuckin' good, Teddy."

Ted couldn't hold on any longer. Retracting his slick digits from you, he dipped down to press a quick, searing kiss to your lips and then rest his forehead against yours.

"Babe, I gotta fuck you now."

"Please," You panted, hooking your legs around his hips once more as he reached down to line himself up with your entrance.

Ted looked into your eyes as if waiting for permission to go past the point of no return. You nodded in confirmation, your bottom lip caught between your teeth as your whole body buzzed with anticipation.

Slowly, Ted pushed his throbbing length inside you, inching in bit by bit as the wet walls of your pussy accommodated his size. Your fingernails left little crescent moon marks on his smooth skin as you gripped onto his broad shoulders, closing your eyes and doing your best to relax as he inched further in.

The low, loud grown from Ted made the sensation of his cock stretching you out all the sweeter. Your hot breaths mingled as Ted bottomed out, his hips flush against the soft skin of your inner thighs and his hands moved to rest on your hips.

The two of you stayed like that for a few moments, holding each other and unmoving. You expected Ted to begin thrusting not long after pushing all the way in, but he was as still as a statue for long enough that it had you concerned.

"Teddy?" You opened your eyes to look at him. "You good?"

There was clear concentration on his flushed face, mixed with something akin to frustration. His dark brows were furrowed with a deep crease etched between them and his ears burned hot with embarrassment.

"Ted? Are-"

"I'll bust if I move." He blurted, voice cracking.

You had to bite back against a laugh, thoroughly amused by his choice of words. How was it possible for Ted to still be adorable during a moment like this?

Ted inhaled deeply, trying to steady the rapid thumping of his heart. "Just - just gimme a sec."

It was incredibly hard to not think about the fact that he was balls deep inside you. The thought alone was enough to have Ted teetering on the edge. Your pussy was warm and wet and tight and unlike anything he'd felt around his dick before. Quite frankly he was amazed he'd even lasted this long.

After what felt like an age, Ted let out a shuddering breath and pulled his hips back slowly before pushing into you again. You sighed, relief and pleasure flowing through your veins as he finally gave you that much needed friction your body craved so desperately.

His large hands gripped your hips tight as he thrusted in and out of you, keeping the pace slow and steady - mostly for his own sake - while his confidence gradually increased with each little pleasured sound that fell from your lips.

"Fuuuuck Ted, that's it," You praised him as he picked up the pace, the two of you becoming lost in your combined pleasure. "That's it, you're fucking me so good - Ah!"

Ted's hips suddenly snapped forwards, slamming the full length of his cock into you and filling your cunt to the brim. Your wet walls throbbed around him as the head hit that wonderful little spot inside you and your fingers gripped at the soft hair on the back of his head.

"Shit, sorry-"

Your mouth swallowed his apology in a hot, open mouthed kiss. Ted was quick to reciprocate, groaning as you nipped and sucked on his bottom lip.

"Do that again."

That was all he needed to hear. The lewd sounds of skin slapping against skin bounced off the kitchen walls as Ted pumped his dick in and out of you, the sensitive skin glistening with your slick arousal. He did his best to angle his thrusts so that he was hitting that spot that had you clawing at his back and moaning his name, desperately wanting to make you feel good as he chased his own release.

"God babe - ngh - pussy's so fuckin' tight," One of his hands relinquished the vice grip it had on your hip to slide back under your t-shirt and grab your breast and squeeze. "Feels too good, fuckin' excellent, m'gonna - mmnh - gonna cum soon."

You reached a hand down between your spread legs to rub your swollen clit, aching for attention as that familiar heat began to coil in your abdomen, tighter and tighter as you neared your peak.

"Me too Ted, m'so close - so fucking close-"

The coil inside you snapped.

"Teddy!"

Your body shook and your eyes rolled to the back of your head as your orgasm hit you, pleasure coursing through your veins in heavy waves. Ted's thrusts became sloppy while he fucked you through your climax, the feeling of your pussy clenching around him as you came on his cock being too much for him to handle.

"Shit babe, gonna cum-"

With a low, loud groan, Ted pulled out of you and gripped his throbbing length. After a few quick pumps of his fist, he spilled his cum over your skin, coating the soft swell of your lower tummy and the hem of your top in pearly white ropes.

The two of you stayed silent as you caught your breath, chests heaving. You let your legs drop and Ted placed his large hands on your thighs, steadying himself as his own legs threatened to give out from under him as he came down from his high.

Nervous bubbles began to simmer in your stomach as you watched Ted through lidded eyes. How would Ted feel about you now? Would this change things between you? And most importantly: Would he regret it?

Just as you opened your mouth to speak, a small smile tugged at the corners of Ted's kiss-swollen lips.

"Now that," He met your gaze. "was most excellent."

A bright smile broke out across your face and your heart did flips, giddiness shooting right down to the tips of your toes. "Agreed. You feel a bit better now?"

You watched Ted closely as he took a step back and bent down to shimmy his boxers and basketball shorts back up his long legs, before retrieving your own shorts and panties from the kitchen tiles and holding them out to you with a smile that shone with earnestness.

"Definitely."

[rivatar]

Practice Makes Perfect

Pairing: AU!College!BasketballPlayer!Neteyam (21) x Fem!Human!Cheerleader!Reader (20)

Warnings/content: MDNI, smut, p in v, creampie, mean & fuckboy Neteyam, degradation, mirror sex, fwb, think that’s it but lmk!

A/n: This is for the day 2 prompt of Pandora’s Glow — Mirror sex + FWB! Credits to @luvv4j4ybe11 & @aperiraa for the event! And credits to @cafekitsune for dividers!

W/c: 1.2k

Neteyam was eyeballing you during practice every chance he got.

He was one of the team captains and this often got to his head; no not often— all of the time. He was the typical cocky athlete who would send nudes to every hot girl, just like all his friends and teammates. He had girls falling at his feet so of course he fucked whoever he deemed pretty enough. Anything to get his dick wet and satisfy his endless sex drive.

To him, this glorified his manhood. Getting laid is the pinnacle of proving you’re the best. And Neteyam was the best. A star athlete with a full ride at your university, his family was well-known and wealthy, and he was favorited not just among his peers, but the professors, coaches, and other faculty too. He charmed the elders with his perfect boy persona, and hell— sports is what matters most to everyone so they all fall for his bullshit since he plays a part at getting them those big wins at nearly every game.

Your sport, however, was hardly deemed a sport by most. Including Neteyam. You worked hard your whole life, competing in All Star competitive cheer. Between the lifts, jumps, flips, and sheer stamina, you firmly believed cheer was damn well a sport, and a difficult one at that.

Due to renovations on the other gym where your team normally practiced all year, you were now forced to practice in the same gym as Neteyam and his team this season. Now him and his minions could openly laugh and make fun of you and your girls, like the himbo pieces of shits they are. Whether it was during stretches, muscle conditioning, or practicing the routines and stunts, the guys were always poking at y’all with sexualized and demeaning comments whenever they could and when the coaches weren’t close enough to hear. It usually went like:

“Bend over a little more, babydoll!”, “Could they make the skirts just a little shorter, please?”, “Amazing eye candy, ladies!”

They were often replied to with heavy eye rolls and a few “fuck off”s by all of you. The pure disrespect towards your sport was almost more than you could bare. Being viewed as an object to the male gaze was gonna be the death of you.

That was why you didn’t know why you ever agreed to this little situation with Neteyam after he cornered you and sweet talked you months ago. Now, it was like a daily routine.

…

“Mmm, fuck!” You held onto the sink in front of you for dear life while Neteyam rattled your shit from behind.

After both your practices wrapped up for the day, he gave you a look you knew all too well. One that said he wanted to fuck, now. The man always had his mind in the gutter. Neteyam always picked the place for the matter, sometimes a little riskier than you’d prefer, being that you didn’t want to be kicked off the team. But this time, following after his tall, broad figure as non-suspiciously as possible, he entered the family restroom down the hall. And that was how you ended up with his dick deep in your pussy.

He flipped your cheer practice skirt up to get a view of your ass, choosing to leave it on and pushing your panties to the side when he shoved his dick inside you.

“You know what this tiny little skirt does to me, you slut. Damn near asking for it, huh?” he said with venom lacing his words, giving your ass a hard spank.

You whimpered at his words. He was right, you were being a slut and you knew it. But you couldn’t resist him, much to your dismay, so you let your dignity take the hit.

“All wet and tight just for me? Or is it from ogling the other guys, too? Wouldn’t surprise me knowing you,” he chuckled darkly, “I mean you literally dance around for the entire public anyways, you little attention whore,”

You blushed deeply, heating up all over. You chose to look down at your feet that were struggling to hold you up from the sheer force of his thrusts.

Then you felt a rough hand beneath your jaw, forcing you to look up and into the mirror right in front of you. You were such a mess— hair misplaced, sweat lining your forehead, and some drool and tears leaking out on your face.

“Watch yourself get fucked by me,” he grunted, and held your face in place so you were forced to acknowledge the scene you were creating through the mirror.

He was hitting your cervix so perfectly, making your body tingle all over. You let out a long and drawn out moan as every inch of your body felt like it was on cloud 9.

“See how pretty you look when you’re moaning?” He said into your ear, “Just a cockslut getting exactly what she wants. You’re lucky you’re so hot or you wouldn’t be getting this from me,” he added while nibbling your ear.

You clenched around him and attempted to drop your head down and focus on the pleasure. He didn’t let you move one bit though, with his painful grip on your hip and his other hand directing your face to the mirror.

“Nuh uh. Watch it. Want you to watch yourself cum on my cock,” Neteyam stuttered a bit, feeling his orgasm approach quickly. “Better do it now pretty girl, I can’t hold back much longer,”

He gave you harder and somehow deeper thrusts while snaking his hand around to rub tight circles on your nub. And that was all it took for your coil to snap.

“Ahhh fuck!!” You screamed as your orgasm wracked through your entire body, almost closing your eyes shut.

“Eyes open,” he tapped your jaw, “Look at you go,” He praised you as the feeling soared through your body.

Your jaw was hanging open in a silent scream as you watched your legs shake and felt your pussy convulse on him.

“Now, eyes on me. Watch me as I cum in you,” He gritted through teeth.

You watched him through your eyebrows, your head feeling light and struggling to stay upright, your arms on the sink still holding you up. You watched in awe as all his muscles tensed up deliciously and he threw his head back while guiding your hips back on him as he shot his hot load in your cunt. You noticed all the little micro-expressions in his face as the sweet release rushed through his body too.

Coming down from your highs, you both glanced at each other briefly, suppressing little laughs. You fixed your skirt the best you could although he left an absolute mess in your folds, with his cum slowly seeping out of you. So you knew you needed to get out of there before anyone saw cum dribbling down your legs.

He smirked, knowing why you were rushing to get out. “Might wanna wash that before next practice,” he teased and winked at you, feeling proud as you swung the door open and ran off.

Taglist: @neteyamssyulang @bambithewriter @professional-yapper @eywaseclipse @neteyamsoare @nonamevenus @loakstahni @zafrinaxyz @anemonelovesfiction @strongheartneteyam @etherynn @plantgirliewholovespandora @ladykat37 @xylianasblog @vogueweb @inolaphoenix (lmk if you’d like to be added or removed!)

[kirathehyrulian]

༼ ༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ༽ I'm sorry... I'm in too deep. Leave me before it's too late and I drown us both further into the depths of spncarfucking's metal bosom.

(ʘ‿ʘ✿) All I can think about is how I can make your comment about spncarfucking and Sam/Impala.

I'm currently reading your thoughts with unclean eyes, purposefully misconstruing lucid meta and official script while watching the world burn in carfucking glory, because This Is Fine.

Truly, Baby lighting Sam up like a Christmas tree on the fourth of July through her jumper cables is the only way Sam can get the rush and connection to the mortal plane to know he's completely on Earth with his brother and Baby. Enough so there's no misunderstanding that he's in the cage with Lucifer. That one second of electric communion with Baby was the reason why Sam could keep grinding the hunting axe as well as he did through all the hallucinations and flashbacks.

It's like Dean pressing on Sam's hand wound but like times a 1000.

Let this man cook! Literally. Cas can always revive him later. (◡‿◡✿)

(ﾉД`) And of course Sam has to do it himself, because Sam hasn't told Dean about him and Baby yet. (He doesn't start hinting that him and Baby are a thing till, possibly seasons, later but Dean willfully ignores it out of fear of what it all means until 15x17 when Dean can't anymore. (ᅌ ˇ ᅌ✿)) If anyone else comes at Sam with a live wire they might know Sam and Baby's secret, especially Dean because he definitely knows what a guy getting off to ill advised electro play with your car looks like.

Sam has to lock it in and he can only do that with the perfect control and precision he demonstrates on his arm during 6x16. (ꈍ ᴗ ꈍ✿)

Just saw a post about Sam zapping himself in 6x16 and now I'm having thoughts about Sam having really kinky, really ill-advised electroplay with Baby and jumper cables. In fact, I just watched the part of the episode when it occurred, and Dean volunteered pretty fast.... Yeah, they've both had really kinky Wednesday nights with the impala. No doubt.

Also I wonder if Sam can drink motor oil like he can demon blood...

I'm so glad Sam and Dean are fictional characters.🖤

[a-town-called-hometown]

yippee! apologies if my takes are horrendously bad

my personal take on the matter is that i definitely think the dark worlds can work as a metaphor for escapism without undermining the darkners' personhood. it can be more than one thing, yknow? the darkners are important, their lives matter. and the lightners do go to the dark world as an escape from the problems they face in their own life. but that's not the darkners' whole PURPOSE, yknow? i mean. according to the laws of the universe of deltarune yes darkners' "purpose" is to serve the lightners but like it's not their whole purpose in the STORY.

it's sort of like how, in UNDERTALE, LOVE represents how distant you've become, how easy it is for you to hurt people. but it also literally gives you the power to destroy the world.

i think the biggest reason i believe escapism is at least a part of deltarune's narrative is queen.

queen's whole speech in both of her fights is about how she intends to provide escapism for the lightners (so that they will worship her but also so that they will he happy). she wants to turn the whole world into a dark world, so that everyone can live in bliss and not have to worry about the woes of the light world. she mentions "Staring, Tapping, To Receive Joy. Staring, Tapping, To Avoid Pain." which is like pretty much the definition of escapism

she wants to help Noelle with the problems she faces in the light world ("Noelle. Who Will Be There To Help Her? Her Strange And Sad Searches" and "My One Idea To Help Noelle, Failed") by just... shoving it away for a blissful fantasy world ("Wake? No, She Has Already Awakened Too Much. Let Her Close Her Eyes And Sleep Away, Into A Darker, Darker Dream.")

...i forgot the rest of what i wanted to say!

well first off, thank you for your ask! I'm going to get extremely in depth in my answer, so bear with me here. sorry it took several weeks to write this. the escapism reading of deltarune is pretty deeply entrenched in fandom, and to refute it, I felt it required a full-length essay to completely explain my viewpoint.

yes, "the lightners desire escapism" does not automatically translate to that being the darkners' actual narrative purpose. escapism can be a theme without dehumanizing those who are used in order to escape - in fact, I've read a number of stories that use someone's desire to escape to HIGHLIGHT how they're hurting others in pursuit of that. I believe that toby fox is definitely capable of telling a story about kids having a valid desire to escape, and about them grappling with having inadvertently created a world of real, living people as a result.

(I'll reiterate again that this is not the story arc that generally shows up in fanon. the common consensus is that the game will end in an omori-esque "growing out of" the dark worlds. it's why I have a huge dislike of the fanon escapism reading, given that the darkners are shown as people whose lack of agency parallels kris' own. it would feel cheap if the resolution to that plot was that the darkners were actually never meant to be agents in their own fates. but this is a digression.)

the reason why i DON'T believe that this is a story that toby fox is telling is because of the way the world, themes, and characters are written. put simply, it just doesn't come across as congruent with the story being told.

deltarune's main themes are agency, fate, identity, and control. this is a conflict that shows up in nearly every major character, is baked into the worldbuilding, and is the central struggle involving us, the player. the protagonist of deltarune is literally possessed by us against their will. the darkners are objects that have no choice but to serve and be discarded. over and over again, there is emphasis on roles that characters play - and crucially, roles that are imposed on them.

what would escapism mean, in this thematic context? in real life, escapism can represent any number of things, but in a story, a major narrative theme generally has to dovetail with other major narrative themes in the work. I would argue that escapism in deltarune would likely mean going to a place where characters are able to choose for themselves what roles they embody, or even to discard the notion of roles altogether. a fantasy of control is the only way to escape a reality where you have no agency. and honestly, it's hard to imagine that something could count as an escapist fantasy if you don't even get to choose whether or not you participate in it.

let's talk about kris.

I see a lot of discussions around kris that say that kris goes into the dark worlds to escape. the dark worlds are posited as kris' fantasy of heroism. it's a world where they can seem heroic and cool, a world where they can have friends. this theory makes a decent amount of sense on the surface level, but only until you consider that kris is being controlled in order to go into the dark worlds. and it is not a control that they appear to welcome.

if those worlds represent kris' fantasy, then why don't they get to choose what happens in those fantasies? why are they being controlled by an external force, one that they actively push back against? if it's really an escape, then why does everything about this world reflect their lack of agency? if they really think this world is just a pure fantasy, then why do they care if spamton falls when his strings are cut?

because they're being deliberately obscured to the player, it is hard to say how kris actually feels about many subjects... but I do seriously doubt that they view the dark worlds as an escape. they don't act in a way that is consistent with that. they resist their lack of agency, and what little we do see of their reactions to darkner characters doesn't suggest that they view those characters as part of a disposable fantasy, either. they seem to have complicated feelings on ralsei. and of course, one of their biggest emotional reactions in the game is to the spamton fight. I would argue that that suggests they have empathy for spamton, which is a hard emotional reaction to have if you believe he's just part of a fantasy. not impossible, mind you, but it seems unlikely that kris believes that all this is simply fantasy.

also, considering that snowgrave both actively discredits the idea that the dark worlds are mere fantasy and is actively traumatic for kris... I seriously doubt they'd open another dark world in chapter 3 on a snowgrave run if their motive was purely to escape. on that route, they've seen the damage we can cause in a dark world. they know that berdly has sustained lasting damage due to our actions, assuming he's not outright dead. why would they want to try and "escape" to a place like that again now that they know what can happen?

the only answer is that they have a motive that isn't escapist.

now, as for ralsei... what part does he have to play in all this?

ralsei does play a lot to the fun, fantastical elements of the dark worlds. he delivers the prophecy that kickstarts the adventure. he flatters both kris and susie endlessly when they act appropriately heroic. he welcomes them into the castle and even makes nice rooms for them. he initially seems tailor-made to enable a fantastical experience where no real issues can ever complicate anything, and where the pain of reality can successfully be hidden from. but there's a lot of complications to the idea that he might represent an escapist fantasy.

the first, and what honestly seems the most important to me, is that he doesn't encourage kris and susie to remain in the dark worlds. he is welcoming and kind, but once the adventure is over, he prompts them to return to the light world. he wants them to deal with their more "real" problems like homework. that doesn't feel like he is trying to facilitate escapism in them. a real fantasy would encourage you to stay in it, wouldn't it?

and while ralsei is definitely invested in making sure the lightners are happy, there are always cracks that show. he isn't able to make kris ignore what happened in the spamton fight. he isn't able to convince susie to be peaceful and kind. and in his very essence, he represents a number of uncomfortable ideas. very importantly, he represents a number of uncomfortable ideas to kris.

this probably ain't your first fandom rodeo, so I'm not going to explain all the different ways that ralsei interacts with kris' personal issues. there's plenty of posts on it out there. what i will point out is, once again, it feels odd that a character who seems tailor made to bring up kris' most uncomfortable associations with their lack of agency and their outsider status in their own family would be part of a fantasy of escapism to them. you'd think that they'd prefer something that didn't have an inbuilt hierarchy, a prophecy that denied them autonomy, or especially a person that reminded them how little they fit into hometown.

that doesn't mean kris doesn't care about him at all - it seems very likely that they do. what I mean to say here is that he just seems ill-suited to an escapism reading, both behaviorally and on a conceptual level. it doesn't seem like that's at all part of his servitude towards the lightners.

of course, there is another non-lightner entity that ralsei seems diegetically engineered to serve. but I'll discuss that later.

now as for susie...

yes, susie definitely views the dark worlds as more fun than the light world. and why wouldn't she? the light world sucks for her, and she doesn't seem very aware of the fact that the dark world can also suck. you could definitely make the argument that she views the dark worlds as a fantastical escape from reality... were it not for the fact that she treats her darkner friends with just as much importance as she does kris and noelle.

can someone treat components of an escapist fantasy as real and important? of course. but given deltarune's themes of agency and control, as well as the fact that darkners exist in servitude to the lightners, I feel like you'd have to make escapism tie into forcing others into a lack of agency if you wanted the theme to feel coherent with the rest of the work. this would require susie to be limiting the agency of the darkners around her. and obviously, she doesn't do that. her presence around them might be inherently limiting, just by simple virtue of being a lightner, but she isn't aware of it, and clearly is uncomfortable with the idea of limiting anyone's agency. she encourages ralsei to make choices. and she supports lancer in basically anything he wants to do. her treatment of lancer is integral to chapter 1's narrative, and it seems like that treatment of ralsei is integral to the ongoing narrative as well!

her preference for the dark world feels very rooted in her engagement with it as its own reality. rather than trying to avoid her real-life problems by engaging in a pretense, she seems to simply want to spend time with her friends in a place that isn't cruel to her. she isn't ignoring any of the dark world's problems in service of that, either. she notices when things don't line up. if she thought of it as a fantasy, wouldn't she be inclined to ignore issues that impede the fantasy?

and critically - like kris, she does not intentionally choose her imposed role in the prophecy at first. she steps into the role of bad guy to resist it, but that role is limiting too, and she eventually acquiesces to being a hero. it's never something she's completely on board with, though. she actively pushes back the limitations that the role places on her. I find this important to reiterate when we are discussing the notion of the characters viewing the dark worlds as fantasy.

noelle has a complicated relationship to the dark worlds. susie tells her that it's a dream to make her accept the strange reality she finds herself in, which works well on her. she continues to think of it as a strange dream throughout the chapter. (though, like the others, it is not a 'dream' she entered of her own volition!)

it is also a markedly unpleasant 'dream' at times. she has her agency restricted, is kidnapped, has to evade a controlling monarch, and is even tied up in a weird evangelion cross thing on the hand of a giant robot. it's not purely fun. noelle does like scary things, and while it might be healthy for her to have an experience where she stands up to a controlling adult figure... again, the circumstances make it difficult for me to assume that this is a fantasy she would choose for herself. not impossible, mind you, but it's not the first reading of the situation that comes to mind.

and while she does say she wishes she could dream like this every day in the normal route, that does happen specifically because she was talking to the girl she likes. it makes sense she'd find that pleasant. I don't think that necessarily equates to her finding the dark worlds escapist.

and importantly, this isn't the sentiment that she expresses in every route.

again, there's a lot of analysis on snowgrave, so I won't bother regurgitating it much here. but it's nightmarish for both kris and noelle, and very likely fatal for berdly. noelle needs to believe that the event is a dream, for her own psychological safety, but one of the most important parts of snowgrave...

...is that its events, and the world it took place in, are very, very real.

noelle wants to have the strength to face her problems, both in the regular route and in the snowgrave route. rather than escaping from them, she views the "dream" as a chance to practice dealing with her day-to-day issues. it's just that in the regular route she finds that strength authentically, and in the snowgrave route, that desire is manipulated and pushed until she is forced to kill berdly. she doesn't interpret snowgrave as an escape gone wrong. she views it as a dream that became a nightmare. and those are two extremely different things.

but i haven't even gotten to the biggest thing that undermines the concept that the dark worlds are a metaphor for escapism! which is: this fucking guy is dead wrong about everything.

so full disclaimer - I really love berdly. I think he's slept on a lot in the fandom because he's annoying and weird. which is fair, I suppose, but I think ignoring him hinders a lot of people's understanding of deltarune's overall narrative. because berdly often illustrates a lot of concepts in the game, but his narrative framing as a joke (usually...) prevents the player from taking it completely seriously. he has things to say and ideas to show off, it's just that he's often very loud and kind of dumb in his expression of them. which is kind of the point!

ralsei brings up the idea that the darkners are meant to serve the lightners very seriously in chapter one. by extension, and by way of the literal mechanics involved in a dark world's creation, we can infer that this logic is probably something that also applies to the dark worlds themselves. they are allegedly worlds and characters that only are supposed to fulfill a dream of the lightners. but due to narrative framing and deltarune's themes, we know that that's not the full truth. however dark worlds and darkners are created, they deserve to have their own agency. they can't just exist to fulfill a higher being's wishes.

you know who else undermines that view of the dark worlds? berdly! berdly does!!!!

because berdly is the only lightner in the game so far who does take the dark worlds to be an escapist adventure! he wants to turn cyber world into smartopia. he views this as a chance to be a cool hero. he believes he's going to get the girl, he's going to shape this world to his own liking, and maybe also he's going to get queen to acknowledge him or something so he stops being a forgettable little bluebird. and not only does none of this happen, his steadfast belief that it will happen is continually a joke within the narrative!!

berdly's wishes for uncomplicated escapist fantasy are flat-out denied by the dark worlds themselves. as a lightner, those worlds should be serving him. he should have the power to do whatever he wants within the bounds of an escapist fantasy. these npcs should be singing his praises!

but he doesn't have the power. and this world doesn't sing his praise. because it just isn't an escapist fantasy. he isn't right to view it that way. his wishes for heroism are always going to be thwarted.

so now that I've gotten all that out of the way, let's swing back over to the subject of your original ask. queen.

because, like berdly, queen's entire character arc is about how she's completely wrong about what the lightners actually want.

queen would in fact like nothing more to place the lightners into an escapist fantasy. she believes that that's the best way to serve them and make them happy forever. as a darkner, queen has very much internalized the idea that a lack of control is what actually makes people happy. since darkners have no choice in their destinies and are supposed to be happy in it, and since she personally finds her role as a darkner fulfilling, she believes that that's true of all people everywhere. if you want to make people happy, you just have to remove that pesky personal agency!

so she spends the story trying to force the lightners and particularly noelle into situations where she controls them in order to make them ostensibly happier. she does genuinely believe that this is the right thing to do, but as she finds out eventually, she's just wrong. noelle doesn't want that. queen believes that escapism is why the lightners use the internet... but that's totally wrong too.

while there are other searches mixed in, noelle is trying to use the internet to find her sister. instead of trying to hide from whatever happened, noelle wants to figure it out. queen's thesis about noelle and the lightners is proven wrong even before she personally encounters noelle in the dark world. it's just that queen doesn't realize it due to her limited perspective.

the concept of escapism being brought up with both queen and berdly is not there to say that the dark world is escapist. rather, it's there to say that it isn't. despite the dark worlds being a fantastical place, they are extremely real. to view them as a means of escape is foolhardy at best. you cannot act as though you are above consequences within them.

themes and ideas exist within the story for a sake of an audience. so let's get into the final character I need to discuss here. hopefully this will tie my thesis of deltarune together neatly.

that character is of course us. the player.

when creating a piece of fiction, an astute author will often identify and anticipate an audience's reactions to certain things in their work, and write things in such a way that they elicit the desired reactions. in essence, a writer is directing the "character" of the audience. how we feel and how we are anticipated to react to things is an integral part of nearly every fiction.

that effect is far more overt when dealing with metanarrative fiction that diegetically involves the audience. since the fiction is saying a lot of things about the general 'you,' the audience in aggregate, your reactions to certain things in the story have to be finely cued and anticipated by the author, so that the author can thus commentate on the reactions that you have to the story. the "character" you are assumed to inhabit is posited by the author to have certain traits.

to explain what I mean in plainer terms, I'll use the player of undertale's no mercy route as an example. because undertale is commenting on the way rpgs generally work. the player's behaviors in no mercy are attributed by characters in the story to be the result of us acting like a typical gamer. we kill the characters in the game because we want exp. and more than that, it's because we want to see everything the game has to offer. the role we inhabit in this role-playing game is that of a completionist. you could say that that's assumed to be our "character" in no mercy.

deltarune also posits that certain things are true of its audience. by being written to evoke certain cultural ideas, rpg tropes, and references to undertale, it guarantees that its audience will probably have certain traits, and spends a large amount of its conceptual focus commenting on those traits. one of those traits is nostalgia, which is probably an idea that I'll expound upon in a further essay because it's quite integral to my reading of deltarune. but the main one I mean to discuss here, and why I went off on this tangent about how audiences are dealt with in metafiction, is that we are posited as someone who believes in the logic of certain narratives.

deltarune's writing evokes a lot of portal fantasy narratives. alice in wonderland, narnia, pretty much every story where it's revealed at the end to be all a dream... the story of deltarune superficially resembles a lot of those. this, I think, is responsible for the popularity of the escapism theory. because those stories are often at their end about a child learning to put away fantasy and grow up, people tend to believe that deltarune must be about the same thing. but I truly don't think that deltarune is trying to do anything with that aspect of portal fantasy narratives, at least not directly. its main characters aren't involved in that exact type of coming-of-age arc.

instead, deltarune is very concerned with what happens to characters in fantasy, and specifically fantasy rpgs. if your world is deemed to not matter because it's a dream, what does that mean for you, who has no choice but to live in it? if you are an npc whose role has been predetermined for you via script, then can you ever decide for yourself what you want? what if you want to matter? what if you want to be your own person?

as the major controlling force of deltarune, we are initially cued to believe that deltarune is like a dream. it superficially fulfills so much of what we want from undertale fanon. hometown seems like it's a perfect idyllic town, at least until you start noticing the obvious cracks. and remember what I said about ralsei earlier? he is so reminiscent of asriel, and extremely eager to help us. it's not a stretch to say that making us specifically view deltarune as dreamlike and idyllic is probably part of his purpose in the game.

I would not say that we are posited as escapist. but the idea of escapism as brought up with queen and berdly is meant to strike at the heart of a much deeper idea that deltarune is trying to deconstruct. because if we view deltarune as a dream, escapist or otherwise, then we are inclined to write the internal realities of the characters inside off. the dark world can disappear without it mattering. we can control kris without it mattering. if it's all a dream, what does it matter? why should we care to let its characters go free? aren't we supposed to be in control?

if deltarune is an rpg... what is the significance of us interacting with it?

[armageddidnt]

Hello I’m here to share some random thoughts on these two gifs specifically and what I think it reveals about Crowley’s character and the good omens universe as a whole

So here are two instances in which Crowley is being called “good” or “nice” and the biggest difference is in how Crowley reacts to it. When Mrs. Sandwich calls him nice, he doesn’t agree with it, but he sort of smiles, corrects her gently and thanks her. When Aziraphale calls him nice, Crowley vehemently denies it and physically pushes back. He is enraged, insulted, and resentful that Aziraphale would even call him such a thing. And I think this really highlights the realization Crowley has had about heaven, hell, God, humanity, and morality since he fell.

Crowley understands that when a human calls him good, that is coming from a place of kindness, admiration, and personal morality beyond whatever rules are expected to be followed. As Aziraphale says: unlike angels and demons, humans have a choice in being good or bad, so when one of them recognizes Crowley as good, he knows the humans understand that concept of morality as a choice and are recognizing the fact that Crowley has also made a conscious decision to be good. When Aziraphale or another angel/demon calls him good, he knows that is coming from a place of adherence to the rules, from a place of invariably following God’s will regardless of the consequences or objective morality of it. Being called “good” is synonymous to being called “someone who follows the will of God,” which is not something Crowley usually thinks is the right or kind thing to do. Crowley almost seems to see it as an insult, that an angel/demon thinks he is incapable of having free will or following his own morality beyond the rules set by heaven and hell. With humans, “good” is a compliment, but with angels and demons, it’s an acknowledgment of conformity.

Within the good omens universe as a whole, this represents the fundamental realization that has shaped Crowley’s character and the realization that he has never been able to get Aziraphale to grasp. Heaven is not inherently good and hell is not inherently bad; the real morality is in choice and making a voluntary decision to make the world better or worse for others. I think this is one of the fundamental messages of good omens and I think this realization will have world-altering consequences for heaven, hell, and humanity. Because having individual morality and choice invites the possibility of going against God’s will, which is pretty much the foundational structure that controls angels and demons’ entire existence.

Anyway, I think the fact that Crowley makes this distinction is very telling about his understanding of morality and the universe as a whole and I think it’s going to become one of the fundamental themes underlying the final season.

[mya-valentine]

Headcanon: Getting High With Hanta Sero

Sero would be the type to get super giggly when he’s high. He’d crack jokes that aren’t even that funny, but both of you would end up laughing hysterically at everything, even if it’s just the way a word sounds.

Sero’s already a pretty laid-back guy, but when he’s high, he’s on another level of relaxed. He’d lean back, maybe throw his arm around you, and just enjoy the moment, content to vibe together in comfortable silence or with some chill music in the background.

Once the munchies hit, Sero would suggest raiding the kitchen. You two would have a blast making the most random, over-the-top snacks and combining weird ingredients just to see how they taste. He’d laugh every time something turned out surprisingly good or totally awful.

Sero’s the type who’d get a little philosophical when high. He’d start talking about life, dreams, or the universe, all while lying on the floor or staring at the ceiling. You’d have fun discussing random thoughts that pop into your heads, leading to surprisingly deep conversations.

His imagination would run wild, and he’d suggest goofy, impulsive ideas, like making a blanket fort or seeing how far he could stretch his tape quirk while high. Even if it’s silly, you’d both go along with it, just enjoying each other’s company.

Sero would be really into music when high. He’d put on a playlist of his favorite chill songs or even suggest that you create one together. Music would take on a whole new vibe, and you’d both get lost in the sound, maybe even swaying or slow dancing in a goofy way.

Sero’s always been a pretty sweet guy, but when he’s high, he’d randomly shower you with compliments, from telling you how awesome you are to how much he loves spending time with you. His guard would be down, and he’d be more open about how he feels.

Once the high really sets in, Sero would get extra cuddly. He’d pull you close, and you’d both melt into the couch or bed, super comfortable and content. It would be all about relaxing together and just enjoying the warmth of each other’s presence.

Every now and then, Sero would come out with those typical stoner thoughts, like, “Do you ever think clouds are just floating pillows?” or “What if tape had feelings when I used my quirk?” You’d both laugh about how ridiculous these thoughts are, but secretly kind of enjoy pondering them.

Sero would get fascinated by the smallest things, like the way the light hits a certain object or how a piece of furniture looks when he’s high. He’d point out random things, and you’d both spend way too much time just looking at or analyzing them for no reason.

Eventually, you’d both just want to chill out completely. You’d probably end up lying on the couch or bed, tangled together in a comfortable, lazy way. There’s no pressure to do anything, and Sero would love just being in the moment with you, feeling completely at ease.

Sero is all about keeping the energy light and positive, so whenever you’re both high, he’d make sure everything stays fun and relaxing. Whether it’s cracking jokes, being goofy, or just enjoying the quiet, he’d focus on keeping the mood stress-free and easygoing.

.

.

.

Masterlist

[arcadia-of-pluto]

Divisa; One

Parings; LADS OT4 x reader

Word Count; 3,052

Themes; reality hopping, alternative universe (same universe, just things are a little different), doppelganger, multiple endings, slowburn

Warnings; swearing, maybe an existential crisis or two

Notes; Hey guys! Divisa is finally out!! This won't be following the original story at all. Just bits and pieces here and there. This is going to be different compared to “Twist of Fate”– it's also going to be shorter. I'd say possibly fifteen chapters? There will be five different endings; Four endings will be with each love interest and the fifth will be with all of them. The original MC will not be a white lotus (aka someone who seems sweet, but is actually a bitch) and certain things will be changed. This is based on the universe of LADS, but the whole in-game story doesn't mean anything– unless I mention it specifically! You'll see what I mean.

It’s gonna have a bit of a slow start, but I hope you stick around for it regardless! If there's any smut, it'll be in the endings. So, this is only rated as mature purely for all of the swearing! (ps I'm sorry for naming the reader's father, but I felt it was necessary to do so)

Also! This will have a sporadic upload schedule, so if I finish a chapter, I'll post it soon after. There's no specific day I'll upload this <3 Hope that's okay.

prev || next

☆ Masterlist ☆

Divisa

//Latin and Italian for: Divided//

||adj.||

Split into parts; separated

Not united; in disagreement

○o。. .。o○

“Seriously, how much shit does Grandma have up here?” Another box joins the stack of five and you wipe sweat from your forehead with your sleeve.

It was your day off today and while you'd love to spend it relaxing, instead you offered to help your elderly grandma clean out her attic— because “you're her favourite grandchild”, her words…You were her only grandkid.

You had already been there for well over an hour, cleared out five boxes so far, and grandma still wasn't home yet. She was at the farmer's market before you even arrived, so she should've been back by now, but you know your grandma is a chatterbox. She'd yap her whole life away if she could.

You take your jacket off and tie it around your waist, slinging your mini-backpack on once more– it's a habit to always have it on you. You never know when you might need something. Like your chapstick, hand sanitizer, a pen…It's almost a mystery how the bag isn't heavy as hell with how much junk is in it–

You head back up the stairs and glance around at the almost empty attic. You wondered what exactly grandma was going to do with the place after it was clean– maybe she'd turn it into a room for you? You shake your head at the thought and go back to moving boxes.

With a heavy box in hand, you head back toward the stairs. The box slips just slightly within your clammy hands and you bring your knee up to help keep a hold of it. This, however, causes you to fall. Your shoulder slams into the sharp corner of an even heavier box and something on top of the box makes a loud noise as it hits the hardwood floor.

You suck in a deep breath to disguise the pain in your shoulder and quickly roll over to check on the fallen object, internally hoping it wasn't something really valuable. But once you spot it, you're confused.

It was…a jewelry box?

Your grandma wasn't one to wear jewelry, so this was out of the ordinary. The wooden box also seems pretty…old.

You pick up the weathered box and lift the lid to make sure the hinge still works. That's whenever you notice something wrapped in a cloth.

You set the box to the side and pick up the cloth. It was hefty, so there must be some kind of jewelry wrapped up in it. Maybe a necklace?

You unwrap it and before you can look at the necklace, a signature at the corner of the cloth catches your eye.

It was your grandpa's name.

You have never personally met the man, but your grandma loved to tell stories about him. The stories were a little…odd, but you would blame that on her being old and the possible beginnings of dementia. She would tell tales of another time period entirely, how grandpa was a prince and she was wrongly deemed as a saint, how she had to run away with your mother and grandpa couldn't come back here with them…

While it was a beautiful story, you often wondered if it was just a coping mechanism and something bad had happened to your grandpa, but you didn't dare ask your mother.

It seems as if the men in your family were never present, so maybe…there's a curse that only affects the men? Seeing as your father wasn't present either, but your mom had so many pictures of him. You even kept a picture of the two of them in your wallet.

Those thoughts aside, it seems like grandpa was an actual person, at least…even though this cloth– handkerchief, you realize– appeared to be just as old as the box itself, but that can't be possible.

You shake your head and set the handkerchief back into the jewelry box, turning your attention to the necklace.

It was honestly a rather beautiful gemstone necklace. It almost seemed familiar somehow, like you've seen it in a Marvel movie or something. It was a deep red-wine coloured stone with silver wire coiled around it like a vine. It hung from a thin, silver chain.

It was pretty and you did love collecting shiny things, so maybe you could ask your grandma if you could keep it. You pocket the necklace for now and, as you go to stand back up, you spot a piece of folded up paper on the floor. You grab the paper between two fingers and open it up. The tiny scrap of paper only has four words written on it.

The Reality Stone || Aether

Aether?

That word seems…oddly familiar to you. Why– oh, right!

Your phone buzzes with a notification.

‘Rafayel is waiting for you’

A scoff slips from your lips and you shake your head. You did need to check up on your game today and do your dailies…and you did make a huge dent in the attic, so you're sure your grandma would allow you to rest for the remainder of the day. Then, tomorrow, she could help you with the rest!

With your decision made, you put your phone away and descend down the stairs. But then, your pocket feels oddly warm. Intensely so– It's like it was burning a hole through your jeans and you pause mid-step to grab the necklace from your pocket, but you miss a step with your heel and you feel your body fall forward.

Panic spreads throughout your chest, because you know this won't be a pain-free tumble. You'd be lucky to escape with just a sprained ankle or wrist. Your eyes squeeze shut on impulse and instead of your body slamming into hardwood, you felt a face full of…grass?

“What the fuc—”

As you sit up in a panic, your body freezes.

…how the hell did you end up outside?

You scan your surroundings, but you don't recognize where you are.

You're surrounded by jasmines. Beautiful, fragrant flowers as far as the eye can see. A couple of scattered cherry blossom trees, but you were not in a forest. You were just on the outskirts of a city.

With a sigh, you take the reason for your troubles out of your pocket. The necklace. You give the red gem the dirtiest look you can muster before reluctantly clipping it around your neck. If this is what sent you here, you might as well keep it safe, until you figure out how to get back home. Then, you grab your phone.

Maybe…it just sent you to the next city over and your grandma could come pick you up.

You take a deep breath and unlock your phone, but your thumb freezes before you can tap anything.

“The date…What in the..” You can't even finish your sentence. You were so confused and panic was beginning to sink in. “It's 2048?! This…must be a joke, right?”

You rake your fingers through your hair and rise to your feet. “It's fine. Let's try calling grandma,” you murmur to yourself. You try to keep your breathing calm, but you can already feel yourself beginning to panic as you hold the phone up to your ear.

It rings…and rings…and rings…

“This number is no longer in service—”

“Whatever. Seriously, whatever. This is fine. Great, even. Everything is a-ohhhkay. Perfectly normal.” You pocket your phone and rest your head in your hand for a moment, then you take a deep breath and nod your head.

“Alright, I should head to the city first. No use freaking out. It's not like that'll get me home any faster.” You clench your hand into a fist and desperately hope you'll at least be able to reach the city before nightfall…

…The good news is, the city wasn't far at all. Well, it was far, but not three-hours-away type of far! So, you made it well before dark. According to your phone, it was only 5pm so you still had time to find a place for the night. Hopefully whatever place you decide to stay will take your cash…but who knows maybe 2024 money is outdated in 2048.

“I'm sorry, we don't take this form of payment anymore.”

This was the third hotel you've checked tonight…You take a seat on a bench near a large water fountain and hold your head in your hands. Even if it's twenty-four years in the future, they should still take your cash! This is insane–

As you tilt your head back to wallow in your sadness, you notice a billboard in the distance and you can feel the blood drain from your face.

“No, no, no—”

You whip out your phone, making sure you have all your apps before you click on one specific one. You quickly tap the screen, murmuring, “Come on…come on..” And once the game finally loads in, you navigate to the guidance tab.

“The Chronorift Catastrophe of 2034…fourteen years ago. Fourteen plus 2034,” you nervously mutter as you chew on your thumbnail. “That's 2048…that billboard clearly said Linkon City.” You hold your hand over your mouth as dread fills your stomach.

You weren't in the real world…of course that's why your cash wouldn't work. Were you in a coma? Did the fall hurt your head?

No…if that were the case, you wouldn't have taken your bag with you, you wouldn't feel so panicky and cold right now…or could you? You could be self aware and in a coma. But you didn't want to be, so you decided to brush the most realistic thought aside.

“They recognized this money, so maybe…” In the real world, old money could sell for a lot. Especially when it comes to collectors. So maybe you could find someone who would buy all of your old cash. That would definitely work for now, but what about in the future? You'd need money for however long you're going to be here…ugh, does that mean you need to find a job?

Wait…

Wanderers and evols.

There were creatures here.

The thought sends shivers down your spine and you shrug your bag off to put your jacket back on.

As long as you didn't go into a rift you should be fine, right? You're almost positive wanderers never came out to terrorize people—

Your thoughts are cut off by a loud scream and your head jerks in the direction of it with wide eyes.

There was a big ass blue portal in the middle of the street and fucking creatures were coming out of it!?

What the hell was your luck today??

You sling your bag back on, getting ready to run before a bright light blinds you and you shield your eyes. Squinting them to try and see where the light was coming from.

Once the light faded, your heart stuttered in your chest.

A tall man stood in the center of the road as the blue rift dissipates. His wispy, ash-blonde hair blowing in the wind as he turns his head to the side to talk to his companion next to him. From where you are, you can just barely make out his blue eyes.

Xavier?

Then…who was next to him—

Y…You?

You slowly pull up your hood as you stare at the uncanny sight.

While she clearly didn't share the same hair or body type as you, everything else was…identical. Her eyes, her face…It was like looking in a mirror.

You were the main character, but you were not, at the same time.

“Y/n, are you sure you're not overexerting yourself?” You could barely hear his voice over the wind, but your breath catches in your throat at your name coming from Xavier’s lips.

“I'm fine, I promise.” You– She replies with a small, almost pained, smile.

“This is some bullshit,” you murmur under your breath, tapping your finger against your leg as you think about the unfairness of the situation.

Seriously!? You were brought here and you– gosh, you really need to come up with a name for her before this gets confusing. Gemini? Sure, that works.

You were brought here and Gemini was already here?? It's so unfair to have two yous in the same timeline, especially when one already had a head start!

The male leads would definitely sacrifice you for her. They'd probably even tear out your heart, thinking it would fix hers.

You tug at your hair with a small groan of annoyance.

Fuck. Fuck–

Deep breaths...

“Alright. I guess I'm staying up tonight.” You finally compose yourself and set your sight on a neon sign just across the road. “The Nest seems like a good place to start. I could sell this old cash and hopefully get enough for a room tonight.” You pull out a black face mask from your bag and put it on so only your eyes are uncovered.

You'd have to be careful since you and Gemini were identical. You really didn't want to get kidnapped instead of her. Being the main character of an otome game is tough work and, honestly, she can have it. You didn't want to get involved.

It's not like the male leads would ever spare a second glance at you, so you'd surely be fine…Right?

☆ミ

The bell overheard chimes as you step inside the dimly lit bar. The smell of cheap liquor and smoke hitting your nose through the mask and you hold back the urge to cough.

Act cool…

You take a seat at the bar, drumming your fingers against the marbled counter as an employee makes his way over to you.

Without saying a word, you slide a 2017 quarter toward him and he raises a brow before placing an embossed business card down in front of you.

Okay, so if you remember correctly, whatever you write on here will disappear and then, the bartender will take the card and leave. If you have someone who is interested, he'll be back with a drink for you.

You grab a pen from the table and quickly scribble down on the paper.

‘Anyone interested in old money’

Honestly, you should probably be a bit careful, but you had no other way to gain information besides taking a few risks.

The ink disappears and the bartender takes the card, nodding at you before making his way to the back.

You just hope the glass wasn't black, though you doubt it. If the glass was black, it would mean you'd need to pay a high price for information– Perhaps your life. However, since you were only looking for a potential buyer, the chances of the glass being black were slim to none.

The employee comes back with a dark green shot glass and sets it down.

You look up at him with a raised brow and the employee decides to take pity on you, tapping the counter next to the glass. “Green means someone is interested and they're willing to pay a lot.” Then, he jerks his head in the direction of the stairs– the same stairs you recall Rafayel walking up before the main character got caught in one of the more recent chapters.

“After you drink this, head upstairs and it's the first door on your right.”

You nod your head and turn your body as you pull down your mask. You can't afford to let anyone see your face. You quickly down the shot and pull your mask back up, the liquid burning as it goes down your throat.

As an extra payment, you give the bartender a 2008 penny– borrowing change from your grandma was good in times like this. You had so many old coins, though your cash was closer to 2024. Either way, you still be able to make some money since they'd be over twenty-four years old.

Then, you leave the bar and head up the stairs. Your hand lightly hovering above the railing until you reach the top, then you head into the room on the right.

It appeared to be a VIP room.

An angled couch lined one half of the wall with a short table in the center. A few unopened drinks and a suitcase sat atop the table and in the corners of the room, near another door were two men. Bodyguards, maybe?

You take your seat, putting your mini-bookbag on your lap so you could be ready to show off your cash– glad that your mask covered half of your face because you were starting to feel a little nervous.

After a few minutes of waiting, your nervousness turns to annoyance.

You roll your sleeves up and pull your hood down as if to show the bodyguard that you're safe and they can let their guy in now. Then, you lean back on the couch and cross your arms over your chest.

Seriously, how long would this dick keep you waiting—

The door across the room swings open and someone…familiar steps inside.

Well, that's just peachy, isn't it?

You try not to let your surprise show and sit up straight as the white haired man takes a seat in front of you and makes himself comfortable.

“You seem a little too young to be in possession of old money. Did you steal it perhaps?” As Sylus speaks with one hand, you can feel nervousness sinking in once more. You clear your throat and pull out your wallet, tossing it toward him.

“See for yourself.” You jerk your chin, hands resting on your knees. “I've even got old coins.” You take out your coin purse. “My family used to collect them, but since I've got nowhere to go…I might as well sell them now.” You shrug, doing your best to concoct a story on the spot.

“Hmm…” Sylus pulls the bills out of your wallet, holding them under a light, before he nods. Though his eyes do falter on something in your wallet.

You know it’s not your ID or anything, since you made sure to take that out beforehand, but maybe the picture of your mom and dad?

As if to prove you right, Sylus takes the picture out, holding it between two fingers as he flips it over to inspect the back.

“What's a Deepspace Hunter's daughter doing at the Nest?” His eyes flick toward you and he raises an eyebrow.

A…

Huh?

I hope y'all liked this chapter! It's going a bit slow, but it should be fine! I'm honestly not sure where to go from here, I'm just making it up on the spot. I have a loose plot from beginning to end, but I don't really have anything in the middle. So...

It'll be fine!

I'm sure y'all didn't expect your father to be from this universe! (I'll apologize again for giving him a name lmao) I'm also gonna say sorry beforehand if Sylus or anyone else seems a bit out of character— I'm doing my best.

Taglist; @ladyparamount , @the-love-of-my-life96 , @rui-drawsbox , @deputy-videogamer