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this tweet has been rattling around my head all day like a pinball in a machine

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one time when i was 17 i watched an episode of doctor who (tennant years) that made me so inconsolable that i went upstairs to my mom and i sobbed like, "please don't make fun of me, i'm so upset about a fake person from a tv show right now i can't stop crying." she let me sit in her lap and tell her all about the episode and i stopped crying and said i felt so stupid and she started laughing and she said, "i once cried this hard in college over a star trek episode. want to hear about it?" i said yes and then while she told me about the episode she got upset all over again 30 years later and she started crying and then i started laughing about it so hard i started crying again

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People who live in big cities will say stuff like Well if youre bored why dont you take the public transportation to your local artisanal cheesemonger

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journal excerpt, july first

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Joy Sullivan, from "Late Bloomer", Instructions for Traveling West

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it’s as if jenny holzer is sitting in the oval office

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Going to a seder at a family friend's place tonight and I have been informed multiple times that someone there has changed her name to Stephanie, but because it seems nobody wants to deadname her, nobody has specified who Stephanie is. So I guess I'm just going to get a surprise Stephanie when I arrive.

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so what if i got my toddler's eyebrows microbladed? it didn't cost him anything i had a gift cord

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can my open and heavily bleeding wound hang out with us

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'have u heard they're shooting katy perry into space today???'ing back into their life

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PRO TIP FOR WOMEN IN STRAIGHT RELATIONSHIPS: tell your boyfriend you think that if he and his male best friend were a couple, he would be the bottom. If he reacts negatively this means he thinks being penetrated is degrading. Then you know to dump him. This is a WIN. DO IT NOW!

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black mirror is so back babyyyy

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Severance happened to my buddy Castiel in 2012-2013

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Also left owes right 400 dollars

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from harmonyyoungs

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always fascinated by how those nyc looks people afford their ten thousand dollar outfits. i think they should also post their jobs and their parents' jobs in the captions like after they say what theyre wearing