#npd people matter
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Gyaru Slang! :D
so i have had this in my notes for forever. and i wanted to share it [most of this info came from OLD blogger websites and a couple of gyaru [[she is not anymore apparently]] youtubers!] i just found the slang interesting, so i researched it a long while ago! anyways enjoy!
Boom
“Wanna hear about my new boom?”
Usually meaning current obsession or interest. Or something they spent a lot of money on!
Co*de
“I forgot to show my latest Co*de!!!”
Usually talking about a latest outfit or favorite one!
Gyaru Coordinate/Coord
“Hi hi Gyaru Coordinates!”
Usually meaning anyone else who is reading/is a gal!
Gyaru Circle/ Gal-circle/Gal-Cir/GalUnit/Gyaru-sa/Gyarusa
“Come to the next Gal-Cir!”
A gathering of gyaru/gyaruo people!Usually out doing karaoke, shopping, purikura (and general photo taking) and going for food.
KS
“I tried to text her but she KS’ed me!!!!!!!!”
Usually a response when someone ignores you, usually on LINE.
YABABABABABABA
”YABABABABA(OMGGGG) That’s amazing!!!!!!”
Usually said when you feel a lot of emotion! So it can be used when excited or annoyed!
Yaguru or yagurareru
“やばばばばばば！山田とデートの途中で彼氏にヤグっちゃった! ” [may not be correctly translated so i am sorry!]
English: Omgomgomgomg! When I was in the middle of a date with Yamada, my boyfriend caught me cheating!
Usually used as a phrase to explain one being caught cheating! Usually used when speaking japanese and not english.
AGEPOYO
“AGEPOYO!!! I’m so excited right now!!!”
A phrase that basically is the Gyaru version of “YOLO”!
Kara-Mara
“Lets go Kara-Mara!”
Meaning Karaoke Marathon!
Uber Irry
“I am Uber Irry!!!!”
Meaning Super Irritated
Uber Pissed
“I am Uber Pissed!!!!!”
Meaning super angry
GL
“He’s so GL!!!”
’Good looking’ abbreviation
Sleep Crazy
”I sleep crazy!”
Basically means they sleep like crazy, like slept well!
Nighter
“I am going for a nighter!”
Basically an ‘all nighter’ meaning stayin up all night
Self-Cent
“You’re self-cent!!!!!”
Basically means “Self-centered”
Majorly Cue
“That’s majorly cueee!!!!!”
Basically meaning “majorly cute” or “extremely cute”
T-ing
“Quit T-ing us!”
Short for “tailing” like followin someone
Hawajew
“I want some Hawajew…”
Meaning ‘Hawaiian Jewelry”
Crushed On
“She’s crushed on Nanami…”
To get a crush on someone
Carried
“Dont get carried!”
Basically means ‘dont get carried away.’
Mad Angry
“Mad Angry!!!!”
Meaning extremely angry!
that is all the ones i had in my notes!!! maybe someone might find some of this slang interesting like i did. i find fashion and subcultures to be really fun to research and gather info on! i have whole giant notes of just that.
#gyaru#gyaru gal#gyaru slang#gyarucore#hime gyaru#2010s#i removed one i had on here just because it was kind of offensive#no calling someone a narcissist as a joke or like using it as an insult!!!#npd people matter#anyways yeah
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Random reminder that I HATE Plushie Dreadful!! Those mental illness/disabilities plushes? Typically rabbits? There's been a lot of criticism over them about ableism in the past. Personal feelings about disorders being marketed, formerly partnering with Autism Speaks, etc. But one thing people don't seem to notice is the ableism towards schizophrenics, narcissists, and antisocials! This site with a bunch of beautifly designed rabbit stuffed animals decided to make the schizophrenic and antisocial plushes noticably creepier than most others. The antisocial one at the very least came out cuter than the concept art. But the schizophrenic one is openly based on serial killers. And NPD? The official Twitter account made a poll about what the design should be, made degrading comments about narcissists, and liked comments by people making fun of narcissists. In the end, in order to not make the npd plush TOO special or unique looking, made it a plain brown rabbit with a paper crown (openly saying it's because pwnpd aren't actually special or deserving of a real one). When contacted by pwnpd with criticism/feedback, like they say they accept, they ignored it
Ableism towards disorders people find "scary" or "bad" is still ableism!!! It's still shitty!!!
#plushie dreadfuls#npd#aspd#schizospec#also this isn't about personal preference to be clear#like no matter how an individual feels about a disorder they have being marketed. some people fairly dislike it other people fairly like it#and obviously people with the disorders i listed could like the designs#but this is about acknowledging how it's fucked up they did that in the first place#like. you can personally like something and connect to it even though the context is bad. ive connected to ableist media before#because in the ableism they accidentally captured an experience that resonated with me even if it wasnt meant to#but that doesn't mean i don't know it's bigoted and fucked up
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im actually going insane how are there so many people INSISTING pda does not have npd. pda has like the Most textbook npd i have ever seen on a character It's Okay for someone to have npd guys it doesn't make you Evil and Fucked Up
#juice.txt#osc#tpot#pda tpot#pda is really interesting because their npd is comical but not as exaggerated as someone like silver spoon ii#its surprisingly more grounded than a usual representation of npd and is very realistic to the actual experience#i ignore whether they have bpd or something else or not but no matter what they CLEARLY 100% have npd#and its driving me bonkers that some people refuse to admit this!!!#bpd isn't 'better' or more 'forgivable' than npd#it annoys me to see it used as a Nicer more Tolerable replacement#that is Ableism#anyway. guy with a special interest in psychology and hyperfixation on npd
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if you know npd is a real disorder than why would you still use narcissistic as an insult.
because he a.) fits literally all the symptoms of the disorder, which abuses us with despite literal years of people telling him he needs to be better and how, and b.) the term being used to describe an inflated sense of self-importance existed before the description of the disorder did, AND I specified that I'm aware that people with the disorder are not automatically abusers but that in this case he is.
#like there straight-up isn't another word to describe his behavior and i hate pathologizing things#he fits everything to a t. but he refuses to go to a therapist bc he thinks the cia watches 'all crazy people'#'s also why i tagged 'asshole' behind it to specify its the bad kind of narcissist behavior#though imma be honest anon seeing someone's vent post about their abuser and getting mad at them bc they didnt use their words#in the socially accepted manner despite specifying that they're aware npd doesnt automatically make u an abuser#but that he's one of them#is kind of really fucking shitty. like does it fucking matter. he makes our lives hell either way and im not gonna assume everyone with npd#is like that#ffs#anon#reply
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I will never understand the way most people seem to hold terrible resentment towards their previous relationships or some lingering something that makes them use the relationship status as a jump rope
#is this just the aromantic spectrum looking at the failures of amatonormativity again? like wow weren't you supposed to be friends first#is it the fact that a lot of people still genuinely believe people of different genders cant be friends? which is bullshit btw#is this the bpd black and white thinking? like once im done im done im not going back im not playing 'will they wont they return'#(if i ever miss past ppl its just fps. they were never anything more)#is this the npd? like *why* would i give myself more suffering over someone that doesnt matter anymore. im above that#i don't know. people at large dont make sense#but its fine. i choose to read this not as despair over the world being nonsensical#i read this as a victory because im above drama and immune to a lot of grief#anyway.
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Jimithon Mouthwashing is such a good representation of untreated, enabled NPD like it makes me want to squeeze the life out of him. I'm endlessly fascinated when watching him interact with his crew, surroundings, and himself because he's so fucking lost in his own sauce. It's insane. If I'm being real, it makes him my favorite character in the game.
It's a little scary to say, but watching Jimmy is like seeing a mirrored version of myself two years ago before I truly committed to treatment for my NPD. He's like a shadow. The opening line "I hope this hurts," which I believe comes from Jimmy right before the crash, is such a poignant statement. It's a simple line, but I can tell you from experience that the desire to hurt others when in a narcissistic rage is overwhelming. It's such a good line to sum up Jimmy's character in that moment. Luckily, in the real world, I had my friends and family there to catch me when I hit my lowest, even though I'd hurt them so many times. Jimmy probably could've used friends to force him into therapy (cough cough Curly cough cough)
#also I don't mean we're similar in any way when it comes to rape or SA. Please don't twist it that way at all.#I mean like in terms of the jealously resentment revenge hurting others to feel thrilled not taking responsibility not seeing flaws etc#I'm diagnosed with NPD also but pls know my experience will be different from others. We're all different people obvs.#also Jimmy has like wayyyyyyyyyy more things wrong with him not just untreated NPD lol#I would say that untreated NPD is a hell most can't describe#you barely feel anything except rage boredom and jealousy (in my case)#love is a form of ownership and control because you can't really feel it the right way#so your -person- is an object of intense obsession and also a tool for you#if that makes sense? I see that with Jimmy and Curly for sure#You want to tear others down and hurt them because it makes you feel good to put them below you#there's a constant feeling of insecurity and it drives you crazy fr#kind gestures from friends feel insulting#and oh my god achievements made by friends and family in my case feel like I've been shot like I hate when they achieve things#It's not logical obvs but that's something I instantly noticed in Jimmy so i was like .....oh brother lol#and also if they achieve something my brain needs it to somehow be tied to me or I'll make it tied to me so they can be thankful#they should always center their attention on me and if they don't I immediately resent them#these are just some of my thought processes on the matter so I can show the similarities I feel with Jimmy#the KEY DIFFERENCE is all of these thoughts I have are left in my head and not exhibited in my actions (any more. took a long time)#but he is such a nasty human with ZERO introspection that he prob never even thought about treatment#also doesn't help that the hot blonde he's friends with never did anything to help with that#idk sorry for oversharing but ahhh this game is so well written I gotta yap about it lol#also kind of a funny unrelated story to show how weird the achievement thing can be lol#my friends announced they saved up enough to go to Vietnam (their dream trip) and I was happy for them (I really was)#but of course my delusional ass immediately also took it as a threat#and I booked a month long trip to Europe a few days after so I could also announce it LMAO#that is a kind of innocent incident when compared to Jimmy but it just shows how annoying NPD can be#Jimmy mouthwashing#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#NPD
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npd culture is finding out that you experienced like, literal grooming when you were younger and not being able to stop thinking about it (because yk) or talking about it because now! now people care about me! ill be accepted in trauma groups now because i was taken advantage of by a guy LITERALLY twice my age! i matter!!! (this is important because anything else ive experienced that could count as ‘trauma’ to me, doesnt count and i can even list anything because it Doesnt Count)
.
#hey your trauma counts no matter what#even if it seems small or nontraumatic to other people#trauma isnt an event itself its a reaction to an event#we have a lot of weird trauma that probably wouldnt count for other people but it still impacted us#npd culture is#npd#actually narcissistic#actually npd#narcissistic personality disorder#cluster b
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shaking my laptop screen right now. why are so many supposed "safe spaces" for stigmatized disorders so frequently anti-endo. violently anti-endo (actively threatening, fakeclaiming, etc) or passively anti-endo ("endos DNI" without talking about endo systems on the blog/"endos DNI" on general system positivity posts, following or regularly interacting with anti-endos but no posts about endos specifically, etc) it doesn't matter it's just all. fucking.
#it's me#plurality#the neuro diverges#tw vent#where the fuck am i supposed to find community#genuinely over half of the other people online with NPD or ASPD are either explicitly anti-endo or are otherwise unsafe for endo systems--#--(see the ''passively anti-endo'' thing)#like. genuinely it's depressing! it feels like no matter where i go there's always going to be one thing that someone wants me dead for#whether it's the NPD or the ASPD or the endogenic plurality#and endogenic spaces *tend* to be better about NPD/ASPD ime but you'll still find pro-endos referring to people casually as ''narcissists''#--or ''socio/psychopaths'' or whatever the hell#but the overlap in not just ''pro-endo + talks about *their own* npd/aspd candidly'' but in even generally just ''pro-endo + has npd/aspd''#it feels like it's so fucking small sometimes#i think it's not helping that i'm already stressed out from a bunch of other things so this is hitting me harder than it usually would#but like. i'd die for even just one plural friend with npd+aspd who is also either supportive of or is an endogenic sys/plural themselves
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ppl, especially low/no-empathy ppl, who talk to ableist anti-pd cluster b abuse believers with the upmost patience & understanding are so crazy (/pos) for that because what
how do y'all sit there and level w/ them just. so much.
i know it's kind of necessary bcs even if they don't listen to us anyways, they're only gonna think we're 10× worse if we don't walk them through the spiel w/ hands held (which we're not even owed to do anyways) but like i can hardly see myself doing it
so like
respect
#y'all should be honoured y'all got My respect specifically .... /silly#cluster b#tw ableism#npd#bpd#aspd#hpd#narcissistic personality disorder#borderline personality disorder#antisocial personality disorder#histrionic personality disorder#low empathy#no empathy#narc abuse#obligatory Is Not Real#maybe i could do it ?? i tried to level before when explaining it to ppl on a different app but even then i was still kinda pointed#but it'd be exhausting.#i'm gonna be honest i think most of these sorta posts or replies are mostly for Our community anyways since#i don't think i've Ever seen anyone change their stance on this no matter how it's conveyed#so i'm sure people go into these discussions knowing that too#i mean if anyone does have any examples feel free to tell. Curious#but yea i guess a lotta ableists have those same self-insulated type of beliefs as your average conspiracy#“anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong for x y & z reasons. if they say literally anything contrary to this they're trying to team up &#manipulate you. these people whom you have never interacted with in your life prior to this. they're in kahoots w ur abuser to validate the#abuse. just trust me on this bro“ type stuff#“don't trust pw/pds bcs they're pw/pds” circular reasoning#didn't mean to basically type something that could be a whole new post in the tags but like whatevs
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(cw vent, sorry it's just been A Couple Of Days)
Not really having many irl friends comes at the price of feeling so terribly lonely, I feel like I have no one to talk to because I'm not close to enough people, or maybe I am and I just haven't talked to them in a while and I don't want this to be our first conversation qwq
I'm honestly just. Tired, tbh qwq
#I mostly talk to my partner#But they've been more absent lately and like they have their own life#But the second they're gone I realize I don't talk to anyone that much#I used to have someone else I spoke to daily; it was an awful friendship though and it took a lot of struggle to end it#But god; just qwq; I'm so tired of everything qwq#Honestly I'm disappointed in how upset it makes me that my partner is more absent because I know it's bc they've found a game they're into#And have been playing non-stop#They'll come telling me that they've done this and that and I'll be struggling HARD and will try to mention it at some point but#But like I wanna leave them their space to be excited but I just#Look. Look the NPD is getting to me; and I know these are not kind or fair feelings but#But I hate it here; I don't care about their game; I don't care about what they've done;#All my brain focuses on is that I've had a shitty fucking day and everything's gone wrong and they weren't here#Because they were fucking playing#And I know that's not fair for MANY reasons and that voicing all that would make me a massive asshole#And that at its core; it's more of a matter of never going anywhere; not having people to hang out with;#Not leaving my house nor talking to that many people#I feel so lonely and so fucking hollow qwq#My bag got taken away and I feel like I've lost an intrinsic part of myself#And to top it all off; I had today's exam and the project I'm doing#And my dad screaming and my period coming and all the things I have to do and how much I yearn for friends#Yet when I'm with my friends I can't wait to be alone#Man; just#I didn't wanna go this far; and I only say it here because no one's really gonna read it;#But I genuinely just wanna kill myself at this point#There's no point nor reason#I'm trying hard to enjoy life but nothing goes my way#I have so many things I want to do and nothing fucking goes my way#I'm so tired; I just want to go to sleep and not wake up; it's gnawing and clawing and it's such an ugly feeling qwq#I feel like if I cut myself I'd be even more pathetic; I wouldn't even be met with sympathy; just. Disappointment#It's been a while since I last self-harmed in a way that was visible
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ik bpd akechi is popular but honestly I'm dying on my bipolar + c-ptsd + npd/narcissistic and ocd features for c-ptsd hill
#💖.txt#tbh i am one of those who thinks bpd isnt a useful category and its just ptsd mixed with other stuff#im also very attatched to him being low empathy#the ocd is smth i flip-flop between. i think its more that after shido's palace if he survives#he's going to have MASSIVE issues with holding himself to impossible standards#spends the first month at the shelter panicking that he's an awful person for choosing to stablize himself before going to the police#(i do personally think he turned himself in. the dialogue from the scene at the shelter heavily implies that's his intention)#maruki's ideal reality is that 1. akechi would find joker on xmas eve and 2. he'd get let out early#or yknow. he never killed anyone so it doesnt matter anymore#the npd is just yknow. oh no! by marina intensifies#bipolar is bc call of chaos REALLY reminds me of manic episodes#and inflicting that on people? wanting to make other people experience how everything in your head is suddenly different and it feels like#this is Right and How It Should Be while your destroying your life??? yeah ive wanted to do that#ive always seen call of chaos as a representation of lashing out/acting out in an attempt to make it clear to people#just how *bad* your mental state is. how poorly tethered you are and how desperate you are for help#wanting to hurt others because no one is seeing how hurt you are and it feels like the last option#(i also see him using it in sem 3 as him finally being around people who are okay with seeing that level of pain)#(the thieves dont forgive him ofc but they see how much pain he's in and said thats fucked up. what they did to you is fucked up)#(you have every right to be mad about it. be mad about it with support.)
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people who dont experience friendship degradation how do you do it? I don't talk to someone for like. 3 days and I feel like I lose all connection to them as a person.
#its not even like in a. i demand attention every single day way#its just like. if a person isnt consistently in my life how do i keep interest in interacting with them#like how do you talk to someone and make a connection and then just. leave that be. indeterminately.#how can you talk to someone and have the stuff that mattered a month ago still matter to them?#how do you not feel like a stranger#anyways im autistic and npd and oftentimes the npd cancels out the autism#like indirect communication? i love her. inget confused when people are too direct with me because my brain automatically interprets more#meaning than was said#and. obviously friendship degradation mechanics#also 1) if we're friends and we dont talk im not UPSET to hear from you im thrilled it feels like im getting messaged by a minor celebrity#like oh shit its! its the guy! right the guy i enjoyed doing stuff with so much! im excited to learn about the guy!#and 2) this does not apply to my one (1) friend ive been in a server with since like 2019 at least not as strongly
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The urge to completely ghost all my friends cause they've been talking to me a bit less than usual
#i think theyve all started to find people that they like more than me and are bored of me now#but are too nice to actually break off the friendship themselves#so instead theyre gonna slowly start talking to me less and less until were basically strangers again#or maybe thats just my cluster-b-fueled theory idk. but it feels real to me right now and thats what matters#listen to mee :3#actually npd#cluster b
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reasons i think i’m a bad person
- i would hurt a child or pet
- i would cheat on a partner
- i think very mean things about people
reasons i’m NOT a bad person
- i avoid/remove myself from situations in which i’d have the chance of hurting a child or pet
- i don’t date to avoid hurting anyone
- i don’t say mean things to people
it’s really that simple. being good is an action and you aren’t defined by your thoughts/impulses.
#neurodivergent#ocd#bpd#npd#autism#but also neurotypical issues#like being an asshole#generally sucking#but choosing JOY and LOVE#it also doesn’t matter why you’re being good#it doesn’t matter if you’re doing it to make yourself feel better#or look better#it matters that you make people happy#it matters that you don’t hurt anyone#ALSO i literally dont want to hurt your pet#but i will#so i don’t ?#yknow ?#me
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hey anon ^_^ just wanted to let you know that the way you ask someone nicely about something is like this: "hey, just wondering, are you diagnosed with npd? thanks :)" ^_^ hope that helps you out next time!!
thankyou sal
#also sorry if i came off a bit too defensive @ anon but umn#people are really fucking mean about NPD always no matter what so my immediate response to anything that isnt expressly positive-#-is suspicion
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sigh. yet another incredibly improtant self discovery that i won't be able to tell my parents about....
#god#i wish i could actually see my parents as like#people who i am close to#who raised me and sheltered me and will love me no matter what#and it's not like they didn't do that#but to me they're just#two people who live in my house who i'm on fairly good terms with most of the time#i think the main reason it feels like that isn't even the neglect or abuse#i think it's that they just#don't know me#not really#like. they know things about me#more now than they ever have in the past i'm pretty sure#but still#i haven't told them about the possible autism#and i haven't been able to tell them about my complex queer identity#and i can't really talk to them about my interests bc they do not care about the same stuff i do#and i won't tell them about probably having npd either#it's incredibly alienating to have no one in your close proximity that actually knows what you think about ever#oh wow this turned out to be a lot more venty than i planned#buggy thoughts#buggy life#buggy vents
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