#now u have a face to the name when i refer to my lad

[smol-tired-binch-blog]

*throws my Yakuza OC at you and runs away*

His family (as in like, relatives, not a yakuza family) owns a jewellery company and he was tasked with opening branches in Japan, and as a result got very close with two particular yakuza

[dipperscavern]

reading the father cregan most has made me feel things ?? my womb is empty ?? and waiting for cregan ??

ALSO KISSES i will always read your tags. they are the favorite parts of my day, in addition to when you post. notifications stay ON.

climbing up the walls with more thoughts of father cregan 🤠 (gods be fucking good, this does sound like a convent. hi sisters!) 🛐

i digress. as we have well established, cregan is a lovely father. he's patient. he's a leader. and he's got that stark loyalty and determination to protect what he loves. which is you and your little pups. (ur so right. he only refers to them as pups.)

i imagine that when your water breaks, you are squeezing this man's hand to the point of bone breakage. pleading with him not to leave. so when the maesters come in and settle you, they look at cregan, expecting him to leave the room - per tradition. one of them, maybe the youngest, starts speaking. "lord stark-" and cregan shuts that shit DOWN ☝️ "your lady stark does not wish it." and everyone knows to shut up and listen when it comes to lord and lady stark.

he is absolutely the type of lad to pick your kids pups up as they climb all over him. once in a post, you described his back as burly enough to sled on and your kids are determined to test that. HELP CAN we actually picture cregan's velocity sliding down a hill like 😐 while his kids are giggling, sliding on his back. hi! hello!

he tells your kids stories of the north in that rugged god-sent accent as he tucks them in for bed. will probably sneak out with them in the night to go get lemoncakes from the kitchen. he gives them cute little fur cloaks to wear, with the house stark embroidery. THIS IS SO CUTE I AM GOING TO SOB

holds them during his meetings. could literally be planning to go to battle or smth, and one of his kids comes in. he just puts them on his lap before continuing with battle strategy. he was just meant to be a dad. he's so giddy about it. so in love with you, and grateful that you gave him this. you gave him chubby little pups running around the castle, hands up in the air reaching for you both. he just wants more :((( crawling at your feet, in your arms, and more in your belly.

i fear i'm going to crash out if i continue. (will definitely be continuing with more asks later. ✊️)

-🔄❄️

REVERSE ELSA ANON HERE TO GRACE US ALL AGAIN !!! yes pls continue later arF ARF ARR ARF

u read my tags….. stop ily. notifications on too i am truly honored. ANYWAYS… SISTERS SISTERS GATHER ROUND. GATHER ROUND FOR FATHER CREGAN

you are so right btw. because when your water breaks, that’s when it all becomes real to you. yes, you want this babe out, but birth is a scary, painful thing. hearing the stories of men choosing to save the babe instead of the mother (i glance to viserys), or of men being done with their wives after they do their duty has only heightened your worry in having to go through it. cregan would never do that to you, you know this, but the thought is a scary one, and it lingers nonetheless. it doesn’t help that the rational side of your brain isn’t in charge right now. you��re afraid.

so when cregan goes to leave and fetch the maesters, you, not usually one to make demands — find yourself almost yelling one.

you both stand rooted to your spots, looking at the fluid on the floor. he was trying to help you into bed, but apparently your pup had other plans. you’re momentarily paused, cregans arm around your waist, hand enclosed in yours while facing the bed. shock hangs in the air as both you realize what this implies. he moves to remove himself from you.

“I will fetch the—“

“No!”

your tone of voice stops cregan in his tracks. has his brows pinching not in their usual hardness, but concern. he had hardly begun to turn away before you reached for him. he tilts his head to look at you, your own dropped down, gaze fixed on the floor. you look at him, a mix of so many emotions on your face cregan could not begin to name them all. you have a hand over your stomach, the other firmly clasped over his arm.

“Do not go. Please, Cregan. I’m afraid.” he’s never heard you like this before. fearful. you mistake his worry for refusal.

“Please— I ask this of you—“

“You need only ask once.” he reassures.

you sigh, relief flooding your veins at cregan heeding your request. it’s tradition for the husband to remain outside of the birth room, but you’re not sure you can do it without him. cregan only pulls you closer, shouting the name of your sworn sword that has been made to accompany you everywhere since the late terms of your pregnancy. the knights response is instant, opening the door with a hand on the hilt of his sword.

“My Lord.”

“Fetch the maesters, Ser. The babe is coming.”

the knight only hesitates with shock, before bowing with the ghost of a smile on his face and running to do as commanded. the entire castle has been waiting on your pups arrival, you both included.

eventually, the maesters arrive — and in tow with them, an army of midwives and your usual ladies in waiting. cregan stands at the foot of the bed, far enough to be out of the way, but close enough to be at your beck and call. they’re attentive, maesters setting up their various herbs & medicines as your ladies in waiting prepare the room itself, your midwives attuned to your every move.

one of the youngest maesters, new in his craft, looks at cregans unwavering form with hesitation. he swallows, and begins to speak before one of the elder maesters can stop him.

“My Lord, it is tradition—“

“Your Lady Stark does not wish it,” he says, looking at the young maester. “So it shall not be.”

the man only nods, returning to his work with his head low. the other people in the room, who have served under cregan for years, know when lord & lady stark come out to quiet themselves & get to work.

the labor is long, and the birth difficult, but cregan is there every step of the way. eventually, hours upon hours later, your pup enters the world — kicking and screaming.

“A boy, Lord Stark!”

cregans heart skips a beat. a boy. an heir.

before you know it you have three. two boys, and one girl. cregan melts into the father role like he was made for it, and every time you get the gift of watching him interact with your kids, you get more and more convinced it is so.

watching them hang off his back, giggles falling from their lips, stretched in a wide smile as his much larger arms come to support under their legs. the view of it from behind makes you laugh, each & every time. cregans back almost swallows your kids whole, their tiny frames dwarfed in comparison. even so, he handles them with a gentleness most wouldn’t expect from the wolf of the north. alike to how you might handle a butterfly landing on your fingertip, or the delicacy used to handle newborn foals.

cregan verses them in the culture of the north, along with its stories. tales of vampire direwolves, the old gods & weirwood trees, and the stories cregan himself was told as a child. he’s careful to not scare them too much, but sometimes, other people can get carried away. a guard or one of the men on his council letting a frightening tale about the others slip, resulting in them asking to sleep with you and cregan for the night. of course, you oblige every time, generous in your reassurances that the others are no match for Ice — or for their father.

your daughter has him wrapped around her finger. pleas of staying up just a little longer, or riding just down that trail are almost always obliged. he can’t help it, when she looks up at him with those big pleading eyes of hers — the ones that are akin to yours. asking him sweetly if they could please check for any leftover lemon cakes. it’s late, she should be asleep, but cregan can’t help himself. opening the door in a way so it won’t creak, hushing her giggles and buying the cooks silence as they get a late night snack.

and yeah, when one of his pups stumble into the council meeting, he doesn’t turn them away. he picks them up to slot them on his lap, and the stern look on his face is all they need to see to know to be quiet if they want to stay. he could be planning anything — from a hunt, to going to the winter town himself to take care of a group of men intent on causing havoc. it could lead to bloodshed, but your kids don’t seem to hear that part, just content being with their father.

cregan wouldn’t trade this life for anything. he loves his pups, and he’s so in love with you. passing by each other during the day, and cregan always stops you, pulling you to him to slot his lips against yours �� no matter how busy he is. he can’t help it, you’re just so lovely, and you’ve given him so much. he thinks of you every time he looks at your pups, and he feels his heart skip a beat in his chest. seeing your pups throw snowballs at each other, and he can’t resist, pulling you close & bending to connect your lips with his. you melt into him every time.

[weirdsht]

What es up 👾

What if totcf with transmigrated!reader that barely says anything about themselves but they know so much about the others, they think it's kinda unfair how easy they are to read to reader (reader has read the novel so they're like a piece of cake to reader) and then one time everyone was drinking, some were drunk, some were dead on the floor or couch, then reader says "I miss my husband..." With such a solemn expression and everyone is shocked because wdym u have a fockin husband????

Rosalyn: *sees reader crying their eyes out* you... You have a husband?

Reader: yes, Rosa sob I miss him, my kids, too!

The gang: Kid? Wait, kids? Plural...? How come we never knew of this????????????

Reader was actually referring to their fictional boyfriend and characters they grew to love that they knew about from Earth, but reader is like, crying like it's the saddest thing as if their spouse went to war

…Seriously? - LoTCF & Reader

a/n: a/n: not me sneaking my lads obsession in here, also I had to choose 1 LI so the gig isn't out of the bag so soon but I don't have a bias there... so i used the usual roulette lol, find out who won as you read the story

tags: earth timeline doesn't make sense. transmigrator reader, love and deepspace mentions, platonic, fluss

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are currently closed but my ask are still open (read pinned)

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[Name] was an enigma to Cale’s group. They know that she’s not from their world. Know that she can predict the future to a certain extent. However, beyond that information, they don’t know much about the transmigrator. 

They barely know anything personal about [Name].

Which is a bit unfair if one thinks about it deeply. [Name] knows everyone like the back of her hand, but they don’t even know if the name she has given her is her real one.

But it doesn’t matter much. Cale’s group is not one to pry information that could possibly be sensitive out of a comrade. They all have their secrets after all, maybe [Name] was uncomfortable talking about her previous life.

Well, that was until Rosalyn saw her crying one day.

It was a normal day, a good one even. For the first time in a while, there’s absolutely nothing to do. Even Rosalyn’s research has been put on hold. And so she decided to find [Name] so they could try to newly opened cafe in town, and have a girl’s day.

“[Name] are you busy–”

The mage stopped in her tracks as she heard the transmigrator sob from the other side of the door. [Name]’s cries were quiet but it caused a loud concern to ring in Rosalyn’s heart.

“Why are you crying? Did something happen?”

Rosalyn opened the door, panic spread through her body as [Name] is known to never cry.

“Ro-rosa..?”

[Name] looked up as the door opened. Her knees touched her chest, her head resting on top of it. Tear stains could be seen on her clothes, it looked like she had been crying for a while now.

“I’m fine, don’t worry nothing happened.”

She reassured Rosalyn as she wiped her eyes with her sleeves. Her voice was wobbly, not helping her case and certainly not making the ex-royal believe her.

Rosalyn took [Name]’s hands on her left hand and wiped the transmigrator’s tears with the handkerchief she bought with her right hand. Concern is etched on her face as she gives [Name]’s hands comforting strokes.

“Tell this unnie what’s wrong.”

Both have forgotten about the door being wide open. Making everyone, the three kids and Lock, hear everything they are talking about.

“It’s a silly thing… I just realized it’s been so long since I saw my husband…”

Rosalyn fought the urge to overreact at the news that one of her friends had a husband she didn’t know about.

“From your previous world?”

“...Yeah, it’s been so long since I saw him. It doesn’t help that when I last saw him it looked like he was going on a very dangerous mission.”

[Name] was crestfallen as she spoke. It was clear just how much she missed him.

“My children too, I only saw my twins for a short while!”

The whiplash Rosalyn is getting from these shocking pieces of information is too much.

Good thing another redhead arrived to save the day.

“Why are you four hiding over there?”

Cale asked the four children and only then did the two women realise how the door was open. Rosalyn shot [Name] an apologetic look. She didn’t mean for her personal life to be broadcasted like that.

“No need to be sorry, it wasn’t really a secret. There wasn’t just a chance to bring it up.”

[Name] assured the mage as she gestured over to the five outside her door. Beckoning them to go inside.

As Cale and the children walked towards the transmigrator, they updated Cale as to what they heard.

“So you had a husband before coming here?”

“Yes, my husband Sylus… I didn’t even get his limited card before I could… huek!”

The transmigrator teared up once more and every one pitied her despite their confusion. Just what card is she talking about? Maybe it’s an earth thing they don’t know about.

“[Name]-nim are you talking about a credit card?”

Choi Han peeked from outside. He was just passing by when he heard the children updating Cae about his fellow transmigrator’s life.

“Huh? Oh no, I mean he did have a black card but that’s not what I’m talking about.”

Now Choi Han was part of the confused crowd. If she didn’t mean a savings card what could she be talking about then?

Meanwhile, in the corner of the room, Cale squinted his eyes. That man knows for a fact that [Name] hasn’t even had her first kiss yet. What are all these lies about a husband? 

…Plus the name she said sounded very familiar.

“Could you tell us more about him?”

“Yeah tell us please nya!”

Raon and Hong encouraged [Name] to talk more, interested in the slightest information about their mysterious friend’s personal life.

“Well, his very tall. Around 187cm I think? He kind of looks like a vampire with his white hair and red eyes. I can confidently say that his one of the most handsome guys out there.”

Everyone became even more intrigued. Just how great was this husband of hers? [Name] sounded very in love with him. He also sounded well-off based on Choi Han’s explanation of how a black card is like the equivalent of a golden plaque.

“Oh, he also has this thing called Evol. Basically he has powers, his power in particular is controlling energy. His super strong, he can even heal wounds.”

From the corner of the room, Cale suppressed a sigh as he placed the pieces together. Instead, he opted to silently facepalm.

The conversation about [Name]’s supposed “husband” lasted for a few more minutes before everyone filed out of her room. Leaving only her and Cale behind.

“What was your affinity level before you got here?”

“Affinity 60… But omg, you play love and deespace too!?”

[Name] looked at the redhead man who was finally letting out that deep, imparted sigh he had been holding in since earlier.

“No, I just saw forum leaks about your husband Sylus.”

“Ohhhh, I was wondering how you knew when he was barely out when I transmigrated…”

An awkward silence lingered around the two. Both of them don’t know how to proceed with the new information. In fact, [Name] didn’t know that game existed on Cale’s earth.

Wait was it possible that they were from the same earth?

But he had powers…

[Name] decided to not think about it.

“Next time, refrain from speaking about your fictional husbands as if they’re real… I think you nearly gave Rosalyn a heart attack?”

“Wait really!?”

[Name] looked at Cale who was on his way to go back to his room. She didn’t know the repercussions of casually speaking about her otome game. The redhead only looked at her as if she was a lost cause. 

“Yes, really.“

incase you were curious about the roulette lol dont mind me using the jp names im just more used to that

[tansypaws]

hi wren, first i’d like to say i adore your srt style! second, do you usually use references when you draw? and second, what is your thought process when it comes to designing your characters?

thank you!

references v important, and i can def tell the difference in my art and anatomy from when i do vs don't use them 😬

in terms of design process, i am very much a put pen to paper and go from there type. esp when drawing canon cats, i usually have a lot of different design drafts that don't make the cut in full, but often impact my final design, whether through the palette or the markings or something that i think of while working on whatever design aspect.

for the fallen leaves design, i originally had him as a like very generic red tabby w/ symmetrical white markings, and then i was like oooh give the lad some leafy speckles, and then i was like ooooh x2 what if he was a calico and had some black in there to make the orange really stand out.

im mostly caught up on the books, so i do also try to bring certain traits/experiences/etc into my designs when i can, like shadowsight having eye-like tabby stripes or the blue in fallen leaves eyes or the like "dripping" black from his mouth/nose to symbolize what happened to him

in terms of my own characters (which i realize now is what u asked LMAOO), i am even more loosey goosey. a lot of the times i try to go in with some aspect of a design or design inspo in mind, whether that be a name (ex. my oc beetlenose having a black nose bridge that kind looks like a beetle if u squint at it) or some memory of an irl cat i saw that i thought would look cool. like w/ designing canon characters, i also tend to go through a lot of drafts unless i have something super clear in mind going into things, which is admittedly kinda rare for me. i tend to just not be able to produce things if i get too stuck in my head, so i try and fuck around with stuff until i get something i like. sometimes i get really far into a design and realize i don't like it or i don't feel like it fits or that the color scheme is really not cohesive, and i switch back to an earlier version.

overall its just a lot of experimenting around and making diff versions until something fits, and i can build a design around it. also w/ fallen leaves, i knew i wanted some sort of leaf motif (lol, rhymes) and started off making the white on his face shaped like a maple leaf, but then realized i did not like how that looked so i changed the design to be more reminiscent (i hope?) of....fallen leaves. i'm very all over the place, tbh.

[showrunnerihardlyknowher]

26 for the prompts? perhaps w the cat n mouse lads :3 (also look danny i did it i sent a prompt are u proud)

I...actually don't remember what the prompt was for this one, but I'm 87% sure it was "I'm not that scary, am I?"

So fine since y'all keep asking for 'em, here's more of the cat and mouse bois. Shoutout to @gabbydafurry and an anon for finally giving them names.

--

“C’mon.”

“No.”

“Please?”

“I said no.”

“I’ll make pollo asado for dinner, we can eat it together while we watch!”

Aaron sighed and rubbed his hands against his forehead, trying to ease the dull throb that had yet to wane over the past two days. His headache certainly wasn’t being helped by the constant badgering of his...roommate, for a lack of better words (as well as being a title so eagerly self bestowed by the cat in question) but much like many of their other interactions, his resolve was starting to wear thin. Usually, he was able to hold his ground for at least a week until he was bribed into giving the other some type of social interaction with the promise of his favorite foods. Today, however, the poor mouse just wanted a moment’s peace free from knocking on the walls or calling through the cracks until he answered, and if that meant watching some stupid movie then fine.

Plus, Lucas did know how to make some incredible Mexican food.

“...fine,” Aaron conceded after a pause, the pressure behind his eyes giving him a sharp pang before fading to its usual ache, almost like his own body was projecting how horrible of an idea this was.

As soon as the mouse slipped out from behind the curio, he came face to face with the massive grin of the cat mere inches away from the opening. Seeing the grin only split wider when he was fully in view of the other normally would have instinctively sent a shiver up his spine, it was kind of difficult to be intimidated seeing how Lucas had strangely contorted his body to lay on the floor between the curio and the bookcase. Most cats seemed to be fairly flexible, so it probably wasn’t too uncomfortable for him to be so bent and curled up, but he definitely lost some of that hunter’s prowess with his back twisted sideways and one leg leaning against the shelving.

In a flash, Lucas had managed to untangle his strange positioning to instead be crouched on his knees, now looming over Aaron in a way he wasn’t sure he would ever get used to. He flinched back when his hand started to reach out towards him, fully intending to scoop him up to dizzying heights without a second thought, but the appendage stopped just short of touching him at all. Instead, he dropped his hand palm side up and waited, smiling all the while. At least he was getting better at remembering Aaron’s explicit request to not be grabbed without permission, though he did always apologize with a sheepish look and some little treat whenever he forgot.

Once Aaron climbed onto the awaiting hand that radiated a delightfully intense warmth into his already aching muscles, Lucas was already jumping up a chattering a mile a minute about how much the mouse was going to love the movie he picked out, how dinner would be ready soon, how he wasn’t expecting him to actually agree to watch a scary movie with him since he never seemed like the type who would be into that sort of thing but--

“It’s a scary movie?” Aaron interrupted, the noise finally registering beyond the headache. Truthfully, he tuned a lot of what the other said out for almost every conversation, not that it ever seemed to make a difference. Yeah, sorry, I’m a bit of a chatterbox, he admitted once, but it’s less weird talking to someone who doesn’t respond than to talk to yourself, right?

Debatable.

Lucas tilted his head and snorted. “Uh, yeah? That was one of the first things I told you about. You know that one actress who’s in almost every one of those Christmas movies we watch, who’s always the jealous best friend?” Aaron has no idea who he was referring to given that he never absorbed anything from those stupid romance movies he was boarderline forced to watch, but nodded anyways, “Right, this is supposed to be her big break out role, or something. It’s the first thing she’s doing as a lead actress, and you know, good for her! I’m glad she’s getting out of that typecast she’s been in forever. Horror probably wouldn’t be my first choice for her, but I guess since she has those singing vocals it could carry over to being a scream queen. Kind of like when--”

And Aaron was out of the conversation again.

Lucas continued to drone on about the actress’s entire film career, or at least that’s what the mouse was assuming he was doing when he occasionally zoned back in to pick up a stray word here and there. The headache he had been staving off to the best of his ability was starting to come back with twice as much force as it often did in the later days. He probably could have just asked the other for some aspirin, maybe even some cold medicine as that was no doubt what this bout of illness was turning into, but asking the cat for anything was always out of the question. Of course, Lucas tried to sway him numerous times into thinking it most certainly was not and that he could always ask for whatever he needed, never to his avail. Aaron was indeed willing to prolong his suffering if it meant not having to stomach the dreadful embarrassment that would come to being indebted to the feline, no matter how insignificant.

Unfortunately, he was only setting himself up for failure in thinking this “agreement” would be providing him any sort of relief. His headache was treading dangerously close into becoming a full fledged migraine and the flashes of light and screams from the television would not be doing him any favors. His only saving grace was that, after he had been settled on the couch and Lucas scampered off to get the dinner he promised, the cat turned off every other light possible to, as he put it, really get them in the spooky mood!

The smell of the food was delicious and nauseating. His stomach both wanted and revolted at the idea of anything filling it, which would only serve to worsen his headache no doubt. Damn it all, he wanted to throttle both himself and this illness, the first for agreeing to watch this stupid movie when he was already feeling under the weather, the second for preventing him from getting his half of the deal. These movie-dinner dates deals were the only reason Aaron continued to stick around, even if he thought the torment of being forced to watch awful romcoms in exchange for a hot, homemade meal was a little unfair. No, that wasn’t entirely true, Lucas was a freaking culinary genius as far as the mouse was aware. It was a wonder why he wasn’t majoring in a cooking field.

“I’m not hungry right now,” Aaron lied when Lucas had asked why he wasn’t eating. “I’ll try some later.”

The cat looked at him strangely before shrugging. “Alright, just let me know. If you don’t like it, I can always make you something else.” There he goes again, offering things he knows the other can’t accept. At least he could let it slide this time as he had no appetite to think of any other dish.

Lucas finished his own meal in silence, completely fixed on the television as the opening scene carried on, introducing the canine main character that Aaron did, in fact, vaguely recognize. This was fine, he figured, the dark apartment coupled with a painfully slow movie, a warm body moving to curl up behind him as it so often did during these deals, he could probably get a few moments of real rest in before the credits rolled. As much as he loathed to admit it, the cat was actually rather...comfortable to be forcefully cuddled by. He wasn’t like other movie goers that needed to make a comment on every character’s decision, steady breathing and the occasional purr helping the mouse slowly relax.

That relaxation was cut short as soon as the romcom actress tore her tiny avian neighbor to shreds by the end of the first act.

Aaron had hardly been paying attention to the storyline up until this point, something to do with the girl being bitten and experiencing insatiable hunger lately. The sudden carnage of the otherwise trusting little prey creature made both of them flinch in surprise, though Lucas was quick to laugh it off. From then on the mouse’s unwavering attention was glued to the screen, but not by his choice. A chill ran through him each time she claimed another unsuspecting victim, always a prey animal, and ripped them apart with her teeth and nails like a starving animal. The way the tiny’s incredibly realistic viscera was slurped into her bloody mouth made him queasy, all too easily imagining himself in their shoes.

Eventually, her hunger became too strong and she began attacking fellow predator species as well. Ripping into throats and soft bellies was far messier than snacking on a tiny creature in three bites, making her feast all the more gory. While the violence still unsettled him, it was a touch more bearable now that he couldn’t picture his own body being mangled between the teeth of a predator he thought he could trust. Speaking of…

The mouse gulped and risked a glance behind him at the other who had hardly moved, save for a few jolts and snickers whenever a particularly good jump scare managed to startle him. It didn’t go unnoticed that every time Aaron had physically reacted to a sudden screech or attack, the cat would curl just a little bit tighter around him, hiding a laugh behind a rumbling purr. He wanted to believe this was meant to be an act of comfort and not something equally as nefarious as the canine plotting her next kill. Regardless, Lucas was equally transfixed on the movie, except he seemed to be enjoying every minute of the horror aspect. His tail would flick in interest during the high tension scenes, even more so when a chase sequence was underway. It made sense, considering that was his favorite game to make Aaron play.

Whatever the case may be, the mouse couldn’t help but be unnerved tenfold that the other had the audacity to enjoy a fictional movie he was interested in seeing. The last thing the mouse wanted was for Lucas to get any more ideas when it came to chasing him around the apartment, much less awaken any sort of primitive instinct to maim his prize after it had been captured. To this day, it remains a deep seated fear in the back of his mind that every time the cat cupped his hands over him, his teeth would be quick to follow. Natural instincts were hard to shake for a reason when it came to prey animals such as himself, he could only hope the same wasn’t true for predators.

His imagination was running rampant, enough so that he completely missed how the movie ended. Something about a cure, something about being put down, whatever. The only thing on his mind was the morbidly hilarious thought that if Lucas were to go feral like the canine, would he eat him raw or would he cook him up in another fantastic dish?

Aaron jumped when Lucas moved to sit up behind him, only now registering the credits scrolling across the screen. He stretched a bit, the quickly fading warmth that had been surrounding the mouse making him realize just how tight the other must have been snuggled around him. How did he not notice?

“Wow,” Lucas said, pursing his lips. “That...was one of the worst movies I have ever seen in my life.”

That wasn’t the reaction Aaron had been expecting him to have, but it was certainly better than to hear him go on about how it was a brilliant masterpiece. He got up to flick the lights back on, still laughing as he recounted each poorly written scene and cheesy effects. “I mean, oh my god, right? The mail man saved everyone? Seriously? I actually feel bad for making you watch that, you totally have dibs on the next movie night.”

He turned around to look at the mouse who was still huddled tight on the couch, wide eyes glued to the screen even if it was just names moving along with ominous background music. Lucas gave him another quizzical look, smirking.

“C’mon, even you have to admit those tinies had zero survival instincts. Like, who goes up to a rabid dog and asks for directions? I get suspending my disbelief and all, but they could have made it just a pinch realistic. This is so going to tank her acting career…” The cat shook his head and moved closer to the couch so that he stood right in front of the television, finally drawing the other’s attention to himself. “Hey, you hungry now?”

Oh, absolutely fucking not. An hour and a half of being tensed up gave no relief to his aching muscles and now that the lights were back on, so was his pounding headache. His stomach rolled, the nausea a mix of dizziness and disgust from the special effects. He didn’t even want to think about food, he didn’t want to be out in the open anymore, and he most certainly did not want to spend another minute in the cat’s company right now.

“S-sure…” Aaron finally squeaked out. He just needed Lucas out of the room, distracted somewhere so he could make a break for it. In some instances, he would have just darted off whether the cat saw him or not, but that always resulted in a game of chase that had a 50/50 success rate, the other loving it anyways. All he wanted was some peace and quiet to rest up and heal and not think about how easy it would be for the other to bite off his head whenever he felt like it.

Lucas stood there for a minute, studying him, and just when Aaron genuinely feared he was going to pounce, he flashed an innocent smile. “Cool, just give me a couple minutes to get it heated up.” And with that, he disappeared into the kitchen.

Aaron decided to be bold and waste a few precious seconds of his head start to collect himself. Deep down, he knew he was being ridiculous. Lucas had been nothing but kind to him. Aloof, but still kind all the same. But as a prey animal that spent the better part of his life living in walls and stealing to survive, trust was a risk he simply couldn’t take. There was hardly any benefit to keeping up this con if the end goal was simply to eat him. For all he knew, though, Lucas was nothing more than a merciless sociopath that was willing to milk every ounce of fear he could before chowing down. A sociopath obsessed with romantic comedies and wore an apron when he cooked and had begged Aaron for two months straight to tell him when his birthday was so that he could make him a miniature cake.

...okay, so maybe Lucas wasn’t a sociopath, but that didn’t mean he was trustworthy. Evolution gave him sharpened fangs and agile reflexes for a reason and the mouse was not about to find out what it was like to be on the receiving end of those one day.

With his head as clear as it was going to be for the time being, sans the dull throb behind his eyes, the mouse finally pushed himself up to make his way over to the couch arm. Slowly, as to not overwork his stiff joints, he climbed his way down to the floor and skittered under the couch for a little extra protection. Strangely, he noticed that he didn’t hear any noises coming from the kitchen just up ahead and when he stopped by the doorway, he couldn’t see anyone either. Losing track of the massive cat should not be possible, especially considering this was a one bedroom apartment and there was literally nowhere else for the feline to go without coming back through the entryway. Aaron should have taken it as a blessing, but of course he couldn’t leave well enough alone.

He proceeded to be daring and come out from under the couch completely to peek into the kitchen, confirming it was empty. Again, that shouldn’t even be possible for Lucas to slip out without having to directly pass the living room to go somewhere else. Unless he had, which would mean Aaron missed him somehow. He had been in quite a deep thought process on the couch...but he could have sworn he was only collecting himself for a minute!

The answer became glaringly obvious when the mouse took a few hesitant steps back and turned to retreat under the safety of the couch, only to come face to face with Lucas. He damn near jumped out of his skin, slamming his back against the wall in an effort to gain another inch of distance between himself and the face taking up his entire view. Really, this was nothing too out of the ordinary for the cat, he loved to sneak up and pounce whenever the opportunity presented itself and Aaron wasn’t too obviously close to heart failure. What made his heart stutter, however, was the fact that Lucas didn’t look like...well, Lucas. There was no smile, no warm eyes, no words being talked a mile a minute about nothing.

No, there was just a frowning cat with his ears pinned back and pupils slit, stalking closer with a terrifying rumble in his throat.

Instinct overtook him as soon as he saw the other’s lip twitch, trying to dart under the couch for safety and having his path immediately blocked by a hand being slammed down, claw out. Aaron couldn’t even yelp, the bile in his throat threatening to turn into vomit if he idled around too long. So, he didn’t. Instead, he turned on his heel and scampered in the opposite direction with the cat hot on his trail. He very nearly dodged a swipe, Lucas hissing that his blow didn’t land while Aaron only tried to speed up his sprinting. They circled maybe half of the living room, the mouse weaving under furniture while the cat knocked into them in an effort to jarr his prey into taking a misstep.

It worked, unfortunately, when Aaron took a sharp turn at the bookshelf and caused Lucas to clip it with his shoulder. The small bump did nothing to deter the cat on his hunt, but the two books that came tumbling down were enough to make the smaller skid and trip to avoid being squashed under the novels. He ended up twisting his ankle awkwardly, stumbling flat on his face while the momentum of his running made him roll twice until he landed on his back. Despite being winded and the additional pain in his leg, he knew there was no time to waste, trying to pull himself. It was too late, though. The cat was already on top of him, hand coming down to pin him under his palm while only his head poked free from between his fingers.

That cold, terrifying face came nearer, eyes tunnel visioned on its prize. Oh God, Aaron would give anything to have the other Lucas back right now. He’d watch a thousand sappy movies, do a date night for every meal, actually move into his bedroom like the cat had suggested he do a dozen times. He wanted...fuck, he wanted his friend back. What he thought was his friend, anyways. Not this killer, not this predator who was baring his teeth and was now mere inches away from biting off his face and--

The growling above him broke off into a snort shortly before turning into a full blown laugh. Aaron wasn’t sure when he had closed his eyes in preparation for his certain death, but when he dared to open them and blinked away the budding tears, he saw that smile he had been wishing for again. Kind and warm, just like eyes, and it was like Lucas had never even taken the form of a starving hunter in his life. Like he hadn’t been moments away from devouring his beloved roommate.

“Oh, come on,” he howled with laughter, “You can’t be serious! That movie actually scared you? I mean, I thought you looked a little freaked out by it, but wow!”

The movie...so this...this wasn’t real. Lucas was just pretending, just playing a prank on him. He thought that the movie had simply wound him up and made him jumpier than usual, no different than watching a zombie flick and popping out from behind a bush at your friend later on.

Except it was different. It was different in the fact that zombies aren't real, but predators are. Predators didn’t need an excuse to go feral and maim and consume their tiny cohabitants, they simply could by the laws of nature. And yes, it may be illegal and have several laws in place to protect prey species, but if no body was ever left behind, who could say if foul play was involved? That was the whole plot point in the otherwise dull movie they sat through together, the reason why the woman was able to avoid suspicion of her sickness by feeding on tinies that could only be reported missing at most.

Lucas’s laughter had tapered off, still clearly enjoying himself. “Alright, note to self, no more horror movies.��� Finally, he released Aaron from under his hand to sit back on his haunches. “Man, I really didn’t think you would scare that easily, especially from a B-movie like that. Anyways, are you actually ready to eat now? I put your stuff in the oven so it would reheat better, but it should be done by now….Ronnie?”

Aaron hadn’t moved an inch since he was originally pinned, not even after the hand had been lifted off of him. He just stared up blankly at the cat, trembling and wide eyed, unable to do anything as the rapid succession of events sunk in. The cat’s humor died down a little, smile hesitating.

“Hey, look, I’m sorry. I just couldn’t resist, you know?” He shrugged a little sheepishly. “You didn’t even notice when I came back so I thought...I don’t know, it was funnier in my head. I almost broke character and started laughing before you ran!” With still no verbal response, Lucas reached out a hand. “Aaron? You good? Come on, I’m not that scary, am I?”

The reaction he got probably wasn’t what he was hoping for with Aaron suddenly scrambling to push himself away from the outstretched hand that might trap and tear apart his limbs. He gave a sharp squeak, managing to find his footing only to come crashing down as soon as he took the first step, his ankle noticeably swollen by this point. His cry of pain was muffled into a desperate grunt, trying so hard to drag himself away as a last ditch effort to avoid the same fate as the bird and the squirrel and the mole in the movie.

Lucas gasped. “Oh, Ronnie, your leg!” Both hands were reaching for the mouse now, aiming to cup around him and scoop him up before they surely put him out of his misery. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry! I didn’t...oh my God, I hurt you.”

Yes and no. In truth, Aaron had been the one to hurt himself by making his body move in ways it physically shouldn’t. But that didn’t change the fact that Lucas had shown his true colors. Perhaps in hindsight, that wasn’t a fair assessment, as he really did think he was playing a harmless little joke on a skittish friend. The pain came from knowing that the cat could turn feral, though, no matter how genuine he was being. There was still clearly an instinct within him, one that knew how to hunt and bare his teeth and hiss, one that knew deep down where they both ranked on the food chain. It hurt in knowing everything he thought about his friend, everything that kept him from really letting down his walls like the other so desperately wanted, was right. Cats and mice were not friends.

“Get away from me!” Aaron shrieked when the hands came too close. Though they withdrew quickly, he didn’t bother to watch if they would move again as he forced himself up to stumble back to his nook behind the bookshelf.

“Aaron, wait!” It was a fruitless request and Lucas knew it as he didn’t even try to stop the mouse from disappearing behind the furniture back into the walls. It would only make matters so much worse. “Aaron, please, you’re hurt, just...at least let me help you. Please. I...I’m so sorry! It was an accident, I promise!”

The cat shuffled closer, leaning down in hopes that the other could at least hear his pleas better, could hear how sincere he was trying to be. “I would never hurt you, Aaron. You’re one of my best friends. Look, it was a stupid prank and I’m an asshole and I’ll never do it again, just please come out. Just let me know if you’re alright?”

It didn’t matter how hard or for how long he tried, Aaron was long gone within the walls.

[katara0524]

Impromptu Ramblings about the NEO:TWEWY Demo

In case y'all weren't aware, I've been a pretty big fan of TWEWY for a couple years now, and with the sequel coming out next month, the excitement I feel for this game is greater than ever :) I played the Demo for the first time yesterday, and following a couple views of some livestreams of others playing it, I felt like sharing my (very ramble-y) thoughts prior to the release of the full game. This post WILL contain spoilers for both TWEWY and NEO:TWEWY, so if you want to avoid those from now on, please block the tags: #twewy spoilers, #ntwewy spoilers, #neo twewy spoilers, #ntwewy, and #neo twewy ^_^ Oh, and if you wanna keep up with any other posts I make about my experience with this game, please refer to the tag "kat plays neo twewy" :)

-First things first: I have not watched the Final Trailer and I don't plan on doing so to avoid spoilers, especially after the pre-release era of KH3 where a lot of the later trailers spoiled a lot of the endgame content. That being said, I've seen some minor screenshots from the final trailer including what many believe to be characters from the original TWEWY, namely Shiki and Joshua. That is all I know about the Final Trailer and I would very much like to remain as blind as possible going into NEO :)

-The very first cutscene was quite ominous in the sense that this game is likely going to be about "changing fate" (a recently common theme in Squeenix games, which I do appreciate), perhaps leading off from the end of A New Day in the OG and trying to stop an Inversion of Shibuya. Also worth noting that A New Day had similar aspects in which the main character experienced "future visions" of tragic events, although in A New Day these events were not able to be changed, while in NEO it seems like one of the main "powers" our protagonist has is specifically to rewrite these events and avoid a "bad ending." Very interesting indeed!

-I really like the revamped comic book style dialogue scenes, it's much more fluid and modern, which is an excellent direction for the series to take!

-I would love to have an actual PokemonGO knockoff of Final Fantasy creatures, please Squeenix that would be incredibleeeeee

-Also the LINE stickers??? Are so cute???

-I would just like to point out that Fret is an absolute treasure throughout this entire demo, he's hilarious and I will protect him with my life

-UHHHH don't like that Fret picked up some Reaper Pins just out of nowhere.....or the fact that they're apparently popular all over Shibuya.............did y'all not learn anything from the OG game or what lmao

-Okay so when I first got the "curry or ramen" scene and heard NPCs talking about the new curry place replacing the old ramen place I became IMMENSELY distressed that Ramen Don was totally cut from the game because....well, Ramen Don is a King okay?? But I'm glad to learn that no, he didn't fall off the face of the earth, he's still in business and he's the one opening the curry restaurant lolol. PHEW, crisis averted!

-.....I don't like the sudden appearance of a Wall Reaper and being able to read NPC thoughts. Wtf happened when they left the ramen place??? Are they playing the Game alive somehow?

-Okay so I have my own theories about this "Swallow" character and what they're up to but considering this is only the Demo and I still Have No Idea What's Happening, I'm just gonna say that I think Swallow intentionally led Rindo and Fret to the Crossing so they could join the Game. I mean, add in the fact that Swallow still communicates with Rindo during the Game and you've got yourself a suspicious character right there lol

-"Hey they're shooting off fireworks!" Fret honey that's not fireworks oof (see also: "*laughs* I'm in danger")

-WOOOOOO way to traumatize Rindo right off the bat like that LMAOO

-The visuals for the intro are VERY GOOD, the song is pretty decent until it gets all "screamo" (which I absolutely cannot stand sorry lol)

-Shoka is every Customer Service employee ever and I respect that

-Susukichi went from being "meh" to "WOW THIS GUY IS FUN" in the span of 10 seconds and I also respect that (he is also built like an Absolute Unit which is hilarious)

-The Wall Reapers (and just Reapers in general) seem.....way nicer and more helpful this time around?? Like in the OG the Wall Reapers were SO RUDE gfhjgjdfkhn and yeah I'm sure we'll get some like that but the juxtaposition of the first Wall Reaper in the OG compared to the first one in NEO is insane.

-The puzzles are quite a bit more entertaining this time around even if it's generally the same "fetch quest" formula lol

-"Rindo's Group" way to go Fret HFKJDGHSDFKJ mans really left the default name in there lmao

-OKAYOKAYOKAY so to those who aren't aware I am a MASSIVE SIMP for Sho Minamimoto, he's my absolute favorite and I think about him daily. HIS INTRODUCTION IS. INCREDIBLE. I LOVE IT SM.

-GOD hearing him actually SPEAK FULL SENTENCES is just SO SURREAL I love this sm

-Also the remix of his theme???? NEO TRANSFORMATION????? IT'S SO GOOD????????? It's like gone from a Boss Theme to a more triumphant sounding theme and I am HERE for it (every version of Transformation is just INCREDIBLE and getting a new one is even better)

-I Love Him, Your Honor

-Also idk how exactly but it's kinda weird seeing Sho in the OG vs NEO, cuz while he's mostly the same Insane Math-Obsessed Catboy, he's.....calmed down quite a bit?? Like OG made a whole point of how poorly he cooperates with others (not to mention just being completely unhinged and trying to kill everyone), whereas here in NEO he's......actually kinda working with others??? HELLO???? Sir what happened to you and Neku during those 3 years I would love to know all about it

-I guarantee you Sho is still probably scheming shite and will likely pull some total insane BS later down the road, and I am very much looking forward to that. Also, is he looking for a certain Pin or something??? Cuz he keeps talking about different Pins and even mentions "this is just another Psych Pin" like he's actively looking for a Pin to do something with. Maybe it also has to do with the "latent powers of Players" thing he mentioned as well??? What is this dude UP TO oml (also is he in contact with Neku at all?? they're both technically fugitives at this point right?? WHAT HAPPENED AFTER A NEW DAY I AM BEGGING YOU)

-I seems like Sho ALSO has an idea of what's going on in this specific game (even if he won't admit it straightforward). Per his quote "The game's 142,857. Factor it out," he's essentially saying, "This game is a neverending cyle, figure out how to get out of it" (or at least that's what I got from his "cyclic number" nonsense lolol)

-I do like how Sho mostly stays out of sight until he's needed for a battle or assisting with a mission, that's kind of on par with his whole "uncooperative" quirk from the OG, plus he might literally have to stay out of sight of other Reapers and Players considering he's likely breaking the rules of the Game (not surprising considering him and Neku broke practically every rule in the book during OG)

-The nicknames for Sho- I can't- They're so FUNNYYYY GFHJSDFKJ

-He goes from being called "Pi-Face" and "Tabooty" in OG to "Mr. Minami" and "M-Teezy" in NEO LMAOO

-(Wowee I just realized I've been mostly talking about Sho oopsies sorry y'all, this is what I meant by thinking about him almost daily he is THAT much of a fav of mine ghfkjsd)

-Okay RIP Fret and Rindo for not getting literally ANY explanation as to how the Game works OOF, that is kinda cringe that whoever gets the Pin earns points, not whoever erases the Noise (which like I understand but also URRRGGHHH I WANNA SEE THE SQUAD SUCCEED)

-"I should be going home now it's getting late" Oh you sweet summer child-

-Also love the mention of parents in this game???? KH you could learn a thing or two from TWEWY (poor Rindo's mom fhgjkdh)

-KUBO IS HILARIOUS I SUPPORT HIM AND HIS GROSS FACE (also thank you Final Trailer thumbnail for spoiling my suspicions about him very cool smh)

-Kaie is a LAD I also support him, go King type those funky texts I believe in you

-FRET PLS STOP SCANNING FHGJKSDHKJFGHFKJ he's like me when I scan in OG during Weeks 2 and 3 and see Taboo Noise coming after me ghfjdshfj

-Also Rindo can you stay off your phone for TWO SECONDS ik you're trying to figure things out but Fret is a jelly boi and I don't want him to be upset with you my guy

-Sho being an actual sorta mentor to the kiddos?? Who are you sir this is so unlike you ghfgskj what happened to the guy who tried shooting children in the face 8 times over LMAO (granted he's probably just using them but it's still nice to see him actually cooperating and sharing knowledge with the kiddos aaaaa)

-EYO EIJI OJI THE TIKTOK INFLUENCER IS BACK LMAO

-hgjkfshgkjf "we aren't glorifying capitalism on my watch" THATS SO FUNNY TO ME GFHJFSDGHJKS (also an all-orange ensemble is disgusting you deserve jail for one thousand years fkn Cheddar Goldfish Cheezit ass woman)

-WICKED TWISTERS NAME DROP EYOOO we love to see it

-gfhsgjf Poor Rindo embarassing himself for the sake of the Game that's incredible

-R e t u r n t o M O N K E. That is all.

-Dialogue during boss battles is HELLA cool i love that

-HHHHH THE KANON SCENE MADE ME A N G E R Y FRET STOP SIMPING MY GUY says the girl with a Literal Simp Encyclopedia and simps for pixels on a screen daily

-Can't wait to see the other Reapers :eyes emoji:

-CAN'T WAIT TO SEE NAGI MY BELOVED YEAHHHH WOOOOOO AAAAND that's about it for the demo lolol, I absolutely CANNOT wait for next month, this game is gonna be INCREDIBLE holy hell Prepare for more simping, more screaming, and more vibing from Yours Truly :) I fully intend on sharing more general thoughts like this on both Tumblr and Twitter so it's not just reblog-retweet-reblog-retweet with the occasional comment fhgskjd

If you wanna witness my insanity up close and personal I have a Square Enix Discord server called Sea Side Dreamers! You can look it up on Disboard, or you can add me on Discord @Katara0524#9244 for a direct link :) We have topics about Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, NieR, and ofc TWEWY (as well as other topics!), so if you want some good ol' chaos and chitchat, you're more than welcome to join!

[idjitlili]

Thorin x Modern!reader

Summary: imagine being annoying and singing the bilbo baggins ballad to wind up Thorin.

Word count:2125

You had been travelling with company for many months now, since you dropped from the sky onto a troll. It hurt like a smashing your back into the taps of a fancy bath. Then you were almost eaten by that troll, until Gandalf had saved you and the small dudes by smashing a rock in half.

Gandalf had allowed you to join the Journey despite Thorins total dislike of the idea.This face scrunched up in anger as he began to talk “I will not be responsible for her safety nor Bilbos.” You giggles at Bilbos name you knew exactly where you were and what you were going to do on the journey. Thorin turned to you and glared, you just stuck your hands up on surrender.

“Very well ,Thorin but you will not cause harm to my burglar or this women.” Gandalf spoke to the dwarves king.

Over the course of these months Thorin ignores you as much as he could even after bilbo saved him, he still avoided you at all costs. You thought he thought you were annoying. Kili and fili would annoy their uncle to get attention from him so that was exactly what you were going to do.

Now you all were escaping Thranduils kingdom in barrels down a river,thanks to Bilbo. The water soaked your shirt with y/m/r(movie reference) upon it, and denim shorts. Since the elves had stripped you from everything else, despite the dwarves anger. Not going to lie this barrel ride thing was very fun. From what you gathered so far Thorin wasn’t the type of person for jolly songs, and you knew of a song that was just that. You had previously had your arms in the arm , like on a rollercoaster, so you began shouting lyrics while doing so.

“In the Middle of the Earth, in the land of Shire

Lives a brave little hobbit whom we all admire

With his long, wooden pipe

Fuzzy, wooly toes

He lives in a hobbit-hole and everybody knows him”

Bilbo looks at you confused, aswell as legolas , he wonders what the fuck she doing she’s gonna get stabbed. Kili has already been shot and you all had already passed through the gate. You were trying to annoy Thorin yes but to lighten the mood distract kili from his pain.

“Bilbo (Bilbo!), Bilbo Baggins

He's only three feet tall

Bilbo (Bilbo!), Bilbo Baggins

The bravest little hobbit of 'em all!”

You aren’t really singing you just shouting the lyrics, Thorin keeps glancing at you with glares you smirk at him, you are sure that kili is going to join in singing soon enough.

“Now, hobbits are peace-loving folks, you know

They're never in a hurry and they take things slow

They don't like to travel away from home

They just like to eat and be left alone!”

“But one day Bilbo was asked to go

On a big adventure to the caves below

To help some dwarves get back their gold

That was stolen by a dragon in the days of old.”

You duck in the barrel as arrow flew passed you.

“Well he fought with the goblins!

He battled a troll!

He riddled with Gollum!

A magic THING He stole!

He was chased by wolves!

Lost in the forest!

Escaped in a barrel from the elf-king's halls!” You purposely changed ring to thing , so no one knew his secret you just smiled at Bilbo who had his mouth wide open, knowing you knew he had found a ring.

“Bilbo (Bilbo!), Bilbo Baggins

The bravest little hobbit of 'em all!” Kili and fili joined in at the second Bilbo, Bofur laughed the three of you, Bilbo smiled.

“Now he's back in his hole in the land of Shire

That brave little hobbit whom we all admire

Just a-sittin' on a treasure of silver and gold

A-puffin' on his pipe in his hobbit-hole!”

By the time you had finished you all had outrun or out swam , you all got the barrels drenched in water, clothes sagging from it.

“Y/n , is that a song from where you are from?” Bilbo had questioned you looking up at you , standing on the bank of the shore , you nodded at the hobbit. Before anyone could say anything else , Thorin marched over to you , grabbing you by the shoulder to turn you to him.

“What WERE you doing?” He screamed at you with anger. Damn this felt like the perfect line , he just spoon fed you more motive.

“ what arrr you doing?!” You frowned at Thorin , who clenched his fists harder.

“No,I SAID what were you doing?”

“What’re you doing?” You smirked , as Thorin scoffed at you about to shout at you, but then Bilbo clenched on your hand pulling you away. You looked back at Thorin who was still scowling at you, you gave him that smiling face Nicolas cage does.

That didn’t continue much longer , as Bard arrived, “damn bro he looks better in person.” You whispered Bilbo who just just nudged you’re leg to be quiet.

“When I was a lad, I ate four dozen eggs

Every morning to help me get large

And now that I'm grown, I eat five dozen eggs

So I'm roughly the size of a barge.” You spoke quietly down into the water recalling beauty and the beast. You had a huge crush on Gaston, but stupid Thorin bad made you achieve a bigger on on him.

“I’m so sorry miss y/n, but bomburs the only one the same size as a barge.” Bofur smirked to you , you giggled “it’s just a song from my home, sir.” You looked towards the dwarf with the hat.

“You will have to sing it for us miss y/n, your Songs are most enjoyable.” He smiled at you placing a hand on your shoulder.

“I can’t sing, hence why shouted the last song.” This made bofur laugh, but didn’t say anything , but bard told the dwarves to get in the barrels to hide. “Mister Bard , I have too long of a torso to hide in them.” Bard looked at your appearance , frowning you looked very different to anyone you had met. He wraps his coat around your shoulders.

“We shall act if we are courting as you need to wear my coat to hide your strange clothing.” He smiles lightly at you.

“Yes sir.” You did an army salute, he chucked at your weird gesture. Thorin didn’t like this idea or the way you looked at Bard.

Bard had been stopped from going into lake town from that greasy skank Alfred, eventually Bard had convinced him but that wasn’t going to stop him eyeing you up.

You glared at him , grabbing onto Bards arm, who realised what was happening wrapped his arm around you pulling you into his side. Alfrid was soon to look away embarrassed, he was clearly afraid of bard. Soon you passed and was able to let go of bard and soon the dwarves were out of the barrels. While bard and you headed to his house with his son , Bain. “Thank you bard for helping us.” You had told bard he sent you a smile.

You entered the house house to be greeted by his two daughters ,sigrid and Tilda. Their mouths gap in shock, at you wearing their fathers coat. You pull it off , putting on the peg. “Isn’t see a little young father?” Sigrid has questioned her father, you were only two years older than her.

“Uh.. I am not courting your father.” You replied with a blush on your cheeks from embarrassment. “Why are there dwarves coming out of our toilet da?” Sigrid had questioned, after the embarrassing in counter. “Will they bring us luck?” Tilda spoke up in excitement. Bilbo walked into the room wet and cold, as bards daughters gave you and the other blankets. You wrapped it around your cold form, “how was your trip Bilbo?” You smirked.

He sent you a glare “oh lovely , you know I had a nice swim.” You giggled.Thorin glared at you , from the fire place.

***

Yo u had told Thorin it was a trap , saving fili and kilis life, now Thorin fought Azog on the ice. Once Azog was distracted Thorin has threw that brick like weapon to Azog causing him to caught it. Thorin stood off the ice , making Azog fall but before he fell in the water you had popped out plunging the sword into Azog a back into his heart.

Your sword had became stuck, you pull at it with all your might, but you can’t get it free. Before you know it you are in the freezing water, trying keep ahold on the ice.

“Y/n?!” Thorin screamed running , towards you, but you cannot hold on to the cold ice any longer. “T-tho” before you can finish his name you lose grasp on the ice, plunging into the icy water. Your whole body is covered as your fingers lose sight of dryness , before the water takes over.

For moments that felt like hours you were surrounded, in death, before someone had grabbed onto your hand pulling you out of the water with ease. Yet you still only saw darkness until the you began coughing up water to breath. You lay on the cold ice spitting up the water on your side. “Y/n?” Someone’s voices echoed, through your blocked ears. You couldn’t see clear everything was blurry, you couldn’t make out details.

Large hands pull you into their bodies , wrapping fur around you soaking body. Bloody hell you were still wearing shorts and a t-shirt. “Yes?” You had whispered before closing your eyes, the person had stood up carrying you bridal style , becoming sonic running.

The next time you woke up you were in a bed , covered with furs and a very warm body laying at your side. The body is strong and muscular his arm wrapped tightly around your waist. The furs tickle your bare arms. You eyes shot open like a fridge by a hungry obese man. (That guy egg dude from sonic) You look to your side to see Thorin in deep slumber , his face surprisingly peaceful, as great contrast to his brooding face. “DAMN BRO did I finally get laid?” You shout loudly causing Thorin to jolt.

He sits up in the bed, you were in the covers yet he lay onto of them, without his shoes just a tunic and pants. “Y/n,you are awake.” He spoke groggly,removing his arm from you quickly when noticing it’s position. “I’m so sorry y/n” damn he never apologised except to Bilbo. “It’s okay I didn’t mind.” You smiled slyly at him.

“Thank you.” He had spoke sincerely, you sat up in the bed, joints cracking, looking around the room, this wasn’t your room Thorin had given you... it was his room.

“For what?” You questioned , you did nothing but almost dying. “For saving my family y/n . For that I also must apologise for treating you so poorly. I hope you can forgive me.” Thorin was also sitting up next to you clutching your now warm hand holding it gently.

“It’s all good Thorin. Not going to lie to you, I did annoy you to get a reaction out of you.” You smirk at the dwarves king. He chuckled at him “yes I was fully aware, kili and fili do the same thing.”

“That’s where I got the idea.” You giggledz

“Of course you did.” You sigh , In satisfaction you had never had a proper conversation with Thorin.

“God dude you didn’t even speak to me , and when you did you were angry. Yet still a dwarf , you captured my heart.” You spoke lowly , not really thinking about your words.

“I did?” You gasp , Thorin looks at you in shock, you eyes burn in embarrassment, you nod slowly and nervously. Before you know it , Thorin had grasped your cheeks pressing his lips to yours briefly before pulling away.

“As you have captured mine. God I saw those looks you gave that barge man.” He strokes his thumb on your cheek softly.

“What can I say he is a very handsome man.” You giggle at your own words.

Before you know it the door is open and Bilbo is skipping in “Oh my you have changed Thorin.” You both snap you’re heads to Bilbo.

“You did nawtttt God damnit Dildo Gaggins,”

[im-a-meteorite]

i’ve been marathoning the harry potter movies since im in quarantine and i’ve been taking some notes. i’ll post them all bc why not 

sorcerer’s stone

harry knowing that there’s no post on sunday,, a genius

hedwig’s theme playing when harry looks out of the window and sees an owl flying by, very nice

hagrid doing magic at the house on the rock thing,, wouldnt the ministry be able to track that?? since there’s no wizard that lives there, they should be alerted?? or did they remove the trace from hagrid once he got expelled?? like does it work by the trace only or? bc if it doesn’t work by location then how would they know that a muggle witnessed the magic?? idk anymore

the kids staring at the nimbus 2000 and saying its the fastest model yet,, then the camera zooming on the handle w/ the background blurred -> the most straight forward foreshadowing

hagrid is actually the worst person to take harry on his tour situation,, like bro literally left him in the middle of a train station

the weasleys and harry going to the platform while theres a shit ton of ppl walking around,,, statute of secrecy where??

the great hall is on the first floor?? i thought it was on the ground floor

ew the hats

i wish the movies had dumbledore’s weird few words speeches

“theres not one witch or wizard that went bad that wasnt in slytherin” broooo

mcgonagall is so savage i love her

snape is an asshole

a crap ton of chessboards in the great hall study hall scene,, foreshadowing the challenges?

madam hooch really yeeted herself out of neville’s way

✨🥰 oliver wood 🥰✨✨

harry really wiped the troll buggers on his robe,, disgusting

snapes hair is lowkey on fleek tho,,

making most of the slytherins ugly bc they’re the “evil” house is just a disservice to all the inbreeding

hermione setting snape on fire is truly iconic and very extra tbh like sis why tf would u know a spell like that

seasonal transition wasnt that great tbh

overall the directing style is kinda basic

“not in the restricted section,,” rule breaking hermione is the best hermione

dumbledore’s handwriting is so extra and loopy like tf?? but it fits his character

the hedwig flying season transition was good

“immortal?” “it means you’ll never die.” “i know what it means!”

50 points each for being out of bed??? wtf is this point system

filtch saying there’s werewolves in the forbidden forest,,, thats illegal sir

hagrid calling the trio by their first names but draco by his last,, we love favoritism

harry’s thoughts r so ridiculous,, “snape doesnt want the stone for himself, he wants it for voldemort!” lmaoo wtf,, evidence pls sir,, u don’t even know he was a death eater. was it the bad vibes?? bc same

harry figuring out that the person who gave hagrid the dragon egg is voldy,, a genius

“kill us faster?? now i can relax!!” ron is so iconic i love him

“lucky we didnt panic!” “lucky hermione pays attention in herbology”

how is it that harry’s hand burned quirrel but not the skin on harry’s neck?? that shit makes no sense

yeah i really cant imagine this dumbledore fighting voldy in movie 5

hermione’s headband in the reunion scene is so cute i love it

chamber of secrets:

how is dobby even allowed to just jump on the bed?? like is it bc harry isnt his master that he can do smth like that

“dobby has heard about harry potter’s kindness” or whatever,, bro u work for the malfoys either the elves gossip or draco is waxing poetry about harry

aunt petunia saying “we have ice-cream” after that whole affair is just ridiculous

DIAGONALLY

this seems like the extended version bc i dont remember the borgin and bruks scene to be that long

the close ups with lucius and ginny’s books r insane lmao like chris columbus made it so obvious

also mr weasley’s acting is so funny like its so exaggerated

lucius malfoy is so dramatic and extra we love it

also lucius knowing hermione’s name and “draco’s told me all about you”??? bro whats with draco?? lmaoo

snape really got mad with the whole car business

mandrakes r fucking weird bro how did jkr come up with that

PERCY WALKING WITH PENELOPE CLEARWATER??? HOW DID I MISS THAT??

omg colin had so many lines?? wow

omg erol with the fucking howler,, iconic

ron’s facial expressions?? pure comedy, rupret is so good

LOCKHEART REALLY SAID “GOOD GIRL” THEN WINKED AT HERMIONE

“pesky piksy pescinomy” this bitch dumb

“why is it always me?” poor neville

omfg ✨🥰 oliver wood 🥰✨

ahh using the seeker position for fighting

ew draco used the m-word

the shit the basilisk is saying is so lame lmaoo

how does harry not recognize that he’s hearing a different language?? or does parsaltongue act weird

HOW IS THE WHOLE SCHOOL IN THE SAME CORRIDOR???

“i know the counter-curse that could’ve spared her” bitch the dirty looks he got?? omfg

the movies would’ve been 500% better if they had lee jordan’s iconic quidditch commentary

“scarhead” “TRAINING FOR THE BALLET, POTTER?”

“what did you expect?? pumpkin juice??” madam pomfery is a queen

dobby is dumb dumb

“who am i, hedwig? what am i?”

“reading? i didnt know you could read?”

“look at my face” “look at your tail!”

“you can’t cancel quidditch!”

“oh harry, if you die down there, you’re welcome to share my toilet”

lockheart: do you live here? ron: no *smacks him in the head with a rock*

“voldemort is my past, present and future” are all slytherins this dramatic??

the tension between hermione and ron in the last feast was insane

justin filtch fletchy is so ugly im so sorry i cant

prisoner of azkaban:

im sorry but harry doing underage illegal magic pisses me off every time

aunt marge 🤢

“do they use a cane boy?” “oh yeah, i’ve been beaten loads of times”

that whole scene is so chaotic

“you cant do magic outside of school!” “oh yeah? try me”

sirius really dumb for barking at harry like it makes no sense

the knight bus is probably one of the best things in this movie

“whatcha doing down there??” “i fell over” “whacha fell over for?” “i didnt do it on purpose!” “well come on then, lets not wait for the grass to grow”

harry leans over and looks for the grim, stan: “whatcha looking at?”

“yeah take it away ernie,, its gonna be a bumpy ride”

this whole thing is written and directed so perfectly

i hate how they replaced tom bc it really made no sense

all the bits of magic in the leaky caldron is so genius

fudge reminds me of trump but like dumber

the blue lighting and coloring is just great, it fits the colder vibe of the story (not like HBP with the hazy/blurry effect)

ugh the glass and mirror transitions are one of my favorite things,, alfonso curon really did that 

i love the weasleys,, also everyone looks great in this movie

omg the scene with arthur talking to harry about sirius with the sirius poster always being in sight?? amazing

contrast of light and darkness just echos the whole dementor vs patronus situation

i dont even understand why remus took the train other than for the nostalgia

the lights slowly turning off in the different carriages?? amazing

the visual representation of the dementors’ effect is great

REMUS!!!

i wish there was more emotion from remus when he’s talking about sirius,, like that was one of his only friends

snape clapping literally twice for remus,, ajhshsh

ahh the placement of the slytherin and gryffindor tables right beside each other to increase the tension and further the plot

oh yea the new dumbledore, also cool hat he has

omg the new fat lady painting

omg the candy scene?? so cute i love lads being lads. that scene just echo’s dumbledore’s light in the dark quote bc its storming outside at night and they’re creating a happy environment within the dark especially with the dementors

ah yes the clock references + following the bird to show us important parts of hogwarts and putting the whomping willow in the forefront

ron’s reading of harry’s tea leaves,, still on point tho. ron really has a knack for divination

buckbeak! omg drapple

draco is so hot especially with that ring also the slytherin pins??

“oh yeah, terribly funny, really witty. god, this place has gone to the dogs”

the kids look so messy i love it + harry’s uneven tie

HERMIONE CLINGING TO RONS ARM!!

“its killed me! your gonna regret this, you and your bloody chicken”

omg the boggart lesson

“riddikulus!” “this class is ridiculous”

fuck snape!

draco really pushed someone with his bandaged arm

remus is such an amazing professor i love him and i just miss him so much

ugh harry in this hoodie?? amazing

remus and harry’s conversation with the music :(( lily :((

wtf is that eye painting??

percy screaming about being head boy,, bro stfu

sirius is such a dramatic little bitch i love it

seasonal changes marked by the wimping willow

“turn to page 394”

what a fucking rude ass bitch,, i hate snape

harry really be seeing the grim everywhere

i wish they had “wheres wood?” “trying to drown himself in the shower”

winter transition with hedwig! + clock tower

“come and join the big boys”

i just adore this scene of the twins giving harry the map (bro i really want a series about the marauders)

whos that skinny bitch with draco???

harry’s way too rash tbh

also mcgonagall being also too nonchalant about the whole marauder’s situation?? like those werent your students

remus is a soft boy dark academia icon

if only dumbledore wasnt a dumbass,, remus could have been uncle moony raising harry with sirius

ron’s nightmare scene?? iconic

“my dad didnt strut. nor do i” umm james potter was also a drama queen sooo probably strutting

“you, YOU FOUL LOATHSOME EVIL LITTLE COCKROACH” “hermione no, he’s not worth it”

sirius’ dog form really looks like a rabid dog omfg

the part where hermione grabs harry while she’s on the wimping willow omfg

“only one will die tonight” YOU DRAMATIC BITCH UR NOT MAKING THIS BETTER

“finally the flesh reflects the madness within” “well you’d know all about the madness within, wouldn’t you remus?”

why the fuck is the shreaking shack is swaying in the wind??

QUARRELING LIKE AN OLD MARRIED COUPLE

why the fuck didnt they knock peter out?? like tf?? they’re actually dumb dumb there were so many ways for this to go right

this man really sent 2 13-year-olds on this dumbass mission

buckbeak really beat up remus,, “professor lupin’s having a really tough night”

harry’s a fucking psycho with this patronus bullshit,, i cant

can they stop screaming while flying on buckbeak?? someone might hear them

im still mad sirius didnt get his name cleared,, so much would’ve changed

“we did it” “did what? goodnight” i fucking hate dumbledore and his mindlessness omfg sometimes i wanna punch him in the face

fuck snape for outing remus as a werewolf,,, but also he really didnt have to resign. like istg wheres the marauder energy when it comes to defying everyone??

i wish the movies had went into the marauders’ history :(( its one of my favorite aspects of the series

[whiskynottea]

An Interruption in the 1st Law of Thermodynamics.

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20, Chapter 21, Chapter 22, Chapter 23, Chapter 24, Chapter 25, Chapter 26, Chapter 27,  Chapter 28, Chapter 29, Chapter 30, Chapter 31, Chapter 32, Chapter 33, Chapter 34, Chapter 35,  Chapter 36, Chapter 37, Chapter 38, Chapter 39, Chapter 40, Chapter 41, Chapter 42, Chapter 43, Chapter 44,  Chapter 45, Chapter 46, Chapter 47, Chapter 48, Chapter 49, Chapter 50, Chapter 51

AO3

A huge thank you to all of you for sticking with me! And, as always, thank you to my beta, @theministerskat!

Chapter 52. Michigan Writing

Sassenach: I juuuuuuuumped!

My hands were trembling. It took me more than one try to write the message without mistakes. My fingers seemed to have a mind of their own, sliding on the screen, adding a stray H and two stray Os before I could command them not to. The moment the message was sent, I calculated the time in Michigan. Six-thirty. Still too early, but the first thing I wanted to do once I had land under my feet again was to share that moment with Jamie. Now, when my heart was still trying to escape from my chest -- as if I could share the feeling with him through a simple text message.

Bungee jumping was amazing. Better than I thought it would be. Even now that I was standing still, I could still feel the adrenaline running through every tissue of my body. Waves were crashing against my skin, fighting for release, making me invincible.

All due to those scary, exhilarating sixty seconds when I felt I was challenging death. Trusting a rubber band to keep me alive and feeling my heart beating wildly, the blood rushing through my body, my voice leaving my mouth in shrill cries. The wind rippling through my hair.

Elation. Freedom.

I had to do it again, but next time with Jamie. I needed to see his smile splitting his face when the crew would pull him up. To see happiness reflecting in his eyes the moment they found mine.

Sassenach: We’re definitely doing this together, too.

Louise’s voice pulled me from my thoughts and I looked up from my phone. The crew was working fast to ready her, not leaving time for second thoughts. Louise, however, was looking at me with panicked eyes. “I’m not sure about this…” she murmured, a question hiding behind the words. Should I not do it? She was close to backing out just before the jump.

“It’s awesome Louise!” I encouraged her, unable to erase the grin that was still on my face, lingering there from my own jump. “You’ll love it!”

A few moments later she was screaming “Merde!”, but I could hear the laughter in her voice.

Looking around, I saw Robert chuckling silently, while Jeremy was standing close to the edge, excitement clearly written on his face. Margaret, on the other hand, had shrunk into herself, standing as far as she could from the crew, as if they would suddenly grab her and throw her off the bridge without so much as a question.

“C'est magnifique!” Louise’s laughter interrupted her words, her hand secured over her heart as she stood again amongst us. “Best thing I’ve done in a long while!” she added, ecstatic.

A weird sound came from Robert’s voice that made Jeremy laugh. We were all aware that Robert was one of the things Louise had done lately, but it was nothing more than one drunken night, so none of us had mentioned it.

“No matter how good you are, mate, I don’t think you can really compare to bungee jumping.” To the challenging glance shot at him by Robert, Jeremy added, “No offense, St. Germain.”

Another sound came from Robert, but he didn’t reply to Jeremy’s comment. Jeremy turned to the crew. “Okay, my turn!” he said. “I’m so excited!”

“Can’t tell,” Robert drawled, looking bored.

“Oh come on!” I said, disbelieving. “You can’t pretend to be calm about this! It’s not called an ‘extreme sport’ for nothing.”

“Oui!” Louise agreed with me, pulling her hair up into a sleek bun, still smiling. “This feels so good!”

“I know,” he said plainly.

“You do?” I asked, surprised.

“I’ve done this before,” he deadpanned.

“And?” I couldn't hide the smile from my voice. It was as if he had resigned to showing no emotions at all, and it was getting ridiculous.

“It’s great, okay?” he said, his face stony, but his eyes grew wide, as if he had surprised himself by admitting it.

I smiled triumphantly, but didn’t continue the conversation. Jeremy was almost ready, and he was looking at me with a wide smile, waiting to take his picture so he would post it on Instagram.

“Got it,” I winked at him and smiled, and his grin became wider, if that was even possible.

Thirty minutes later, we arrived back at the volunteer house. Robert had jumped from the bridge in the most nonchalant way, but even he couldn’t control the grin on his face when the crew pulled him back up. Margaret had decided that she didn’t want to try, even though we had repeatedly assured her that the jump was perfectly safe and felt amazing. Robert had walked with her back to her room while the rest of us had stayed behind, having an animated conversation about seeing the ground coming closer and closer, and wondering where the hell the rope was that would stop us.

Jamie hadn’t mentioned my letter in any of his texts or during our calls, and I, wanting it to be a surprise, didn’t inform him of my old-fashioned means of communication. So I could hardly believe in my eyes when Robert gave me the crisp white envelope with my name written on it in Jamie’s beautiful penmanship.

“Mr Darcy sends his regards,” he said with a slightly raised eyebrow, but I didn’t have time to spend on his mockery. That he, of all people, would be the one to read Pride and Prejudice and use references from the book to tease me. Or maybe he had watched the movie. Having Jamie’s letter in my hands, I didn’t really care either way.

I ran to my bed, lay prone propping myself up on my elbows, and tore the envelope open.

My Sassenach,

A letter? Really? John is now calling me Napoleon and it’s all your fault. He says Napoleon was sending steamy love letters to Josephine and he’s sure that’s what we’re doing as well. If I’m going to live through that, you have to increase the level of naughtiness in your letters, babe. We have to live up to John’s expectations (and that’s the only reason I’m asking this of you, as I’m sure you very well know).

“Yeah, sure, Jamie Fraser. The one and only reason,” I  murmured, grinning. “I wonder who you’re trying to persuade with this.” Shaking my head, I continued.

What you also need to know, is that Hector has left two fake letters on my desk this week -- one featuring hearts of all shapes, the other full of ridiculous declarations of love. And a bit of sex talk. Really bad sex talk, if I may say so. We should have never helped these two get together. They are insufferable, and I have to endure their silliness all by myself now that you’re gone, Sassenach.

COME BACK. SAVE YOUR LAD. I’M SUFFERING HERE.

“You’re a ridiculous human being,” I whispered, smiling, although my heart clenched a little reading his words. I knew he was joking, I knew it, but I also knew he did wish I was there. My eyes glanced back to his words.  

To be honest, I never expected to get a letter from you. It was a nice surprise, reading you, though. Maybe I’ve read the letter more than once. Maybe I read my favorite parts every night. Maybe.

The groan left my lips before I could control it. Why does this man have to be so sweet? All of a sudden, my arms felt extremely empty.

I never expected to tell you that I’m happy you’re there, Claire, but I am. I am happy because you are. Because I can see the way you smile in the pictures you send. Because I can even read this joy, squeezed into the tiny white spaces between the crammed words in your letter, flashing as if it were written with fluorescent colours.

I can’t really explain it, but it makes me happy and sad at the same time. It feels like an ache in my chest. I’m happy you’re doing what you love, but I want to be there, with you. I have this constant feeling that I’m missing something really important, something we were supposed to live together.

But then, if I followed you everywhere, maybe you’d get sick of me and ditch me the moment you got bored. I’m staying here to make myself unattainable, that’s what I’m doing.

Here is where you say, “I’d never get bored of you, you fool.” (I do hope you’ve said this. Or at least thought it.)

R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S. “I’ll never ever get bored of you, you fool,” I said, feeling that I owed him that much. It was the truth, after all. Jamie’s letter continued in a more serious tone.

I know we need to make some memories that are ours and ours alone, mo chridhe, but I don’t want to. I want to be there, to see wild Africa as you see it, the people, the landscapes… To see you healing others, getting ready to become one of the best doctors in the world. I want to be there, to smell you at night when you lie in my arms, to feel your skin soft and warm against my lips. To feel you getting wet, as I run my fingers across your body.

My heart thundered inside my chest. Living up to John’s expectations, my arse.

Anyway. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I miss you terribly.

“I miss you too, you oaf. Why do you have to make this so hard?” My whisper was soon lost, as Jeremy burst in, laughing at something Louise had said outside. I swallowed hard, trying to master my feelings.

Things here are pretty much as you left them, Sassenach. Classes are relatively easy and the winter term ends next Tuesday. Coach has started pushing us harder. Training is exhausting and I often have no stamina to do anything more than go to classes and to the pool. I’m getting better, though. My time underwater is so much longer now! I still need to improve my turns, and coach says my back doesn’t have quite the right arch when I jump at the start. In Edinburgh, my coach had said I had the perfect start -- it appears not.

I could almost see him rolling his eyes. My poor swimmer, straining for perfection.

Other than that, we usually gather over at Hector’s for beers twice a week, as you already know. You remember Jim from when you were here? The complete arsehole? He’s starting to open up now, and he’s really not that bad. Oh, and I just hung up with Jenny. She told me she’ll send you some pictures of Lallybroch, to entice you to return home. Lallybroch is beautiful in the spring, remember the pictures I sent you last Easter? I’ll send you some pictures of me, to make you come here. Fraser measures, we call them.

Jenny said she misses you a lot, but she’s proud of you. She said I’m a lucky bastard to have you -- I needed to remind her I am her family, and not you. I talked with Ian, too. He has started looking for apartments in Edinburgh, so Jenny and he will live alone come September. He wants to find a job too, so he can pay for it, but Jenny has no idea about his plans. He’ll get her on a trip to Edinburgh so they’ll decide together which one they like once he narrows down their choices to three or four apartments. I told him that he’s making the rest of us seem inadequate as boyfriends, but he merely chuckled. He is, though.

Don’t get any ideas in that pretty head of yours. Ian is only one, taken by Jenny, and I’m the best boyfriend you can ever get. Right? Right?

You’re the best I can ever get, that’s for sure.

Your team of volunteers seems nice. Tell Louise I said hi! And keep a safe distance from the guys, okay? (I’m kidding. Or not. Okay, I am, stop staring at that piece of paper as if you’re going to put it on fire.)

I don’t know when this letter will be delivered to you. I’ll make sure you get enough of me through texts till then. I can’t wait for the weekend, so I can see and hear you again.

I love you. And I miss you. And I want you. God, I want you.

Time will pass and I’ll have your obnoxious curls getting in my face again. I can’t wait.  

Your beloved Scot.

I pressed the letter against my chest, breathing long and deep. A letter from Jamie -- who would ever have imagined that happening. I grabbed my phone, checking the time. He should have woken up by now.

Sassenach: Where are you, my sleepy Scot?

Seeing that he wasn’t online, I tucked the letter between the pages of my book and went outside to sit with the others. Louise gave me a sweet smile, and nodded towards the only empty chair, between her and Margaret.

“Happy?” she asked in a low voice once I was seated.

“Yes,” I said, but it was more of a sigh and less of a word. “I miss him.”

“I know.” She pressed her lips together, and her glance traveled to her phone. Charlie was back in France and he hadn’t taken Louise’s decision well. He blamed her for leaving their perfect life to go on an adventure without him, and they had broken up a few days before she left for Zambia. But she still loved him.

At least Jamie understood.

When the rest went back in the house, Robert and I were left alone basking in the sun.

“So,” I said, leaning towards him. “Pride and Prejudice? You?” I asked in a low voice, making sure I raised my eyebrow in a challenging way.

Robert looked at me for the briefest moments, then averted his eyes. If I didn’t know he had been lying under the sun for the past thirty minutes, I would swear he had blushed. With his gaze fixed on a puffy white cloud, he shrugged.

“You would make a nice Mr. Darcy yourself, you know,” I said without really thinking about it. Or, more specifically, thinking about his money and arrogance.

His eyes found mine, and the openness I saw there surprised me. “It was my mother’s favourite book.” He ran a hand through his hair, fixing his gaze on the cloud again.

I froze at his use of past tense.

“I’m sorry, Robert.” I reached out tentatively and squeezed his hand, feeling his fingers pressing hard against the arm of his chair. “I know how it feels like.”

He looked at me again, wide eyes glazed with unshed tears. He nodded, gulped as if to swallow the words and feelings that overwhelmed him, and stood abruptly. A moment later he left the house.

My gaze was fixed on the road for a while after Robert disappeared at the turn, thinking how proud and prejudiced I had been in my assessment of him. Everyone carries their own baggage, some people hiding their limping better than others.

Chapter 53

[fiire-bcrn]

alias  - siege.

age   -  twenty-two

pronouns  -  she/her  .

timezone  -  est .

favorite  artist  -  solo - p!nk, sia; band - fall out boy, onerepublic, imagine dragons  . those are just the most frequent flyers, I listen to everything from electro-swing to german pop so.

favorite  movie  -  too many to list but basically anything superheroes or sci-fi/fantasy like the x-men, the mcu, star trek, stardust, willow, ladyhawke, knights tale, etc.

favorite  fairy  tale  -  twelve dancing princesses  was always one of my favourites but I obsessively devoured the andrew lang fairy books growing up. .

favorite  color  -  green  .

character(s)  you  play  -  sanderson mansnoozie, diaval corvus, chernabog caim, robin loxley .

got v long so the rest is under the cut !

about  the  characters  -  sandy : he’s sweet bubbly bean, communicates mostly through sign due to his own language having died out. unseelie of the autumn court but older than any of them by a longshot due to having been made a guardian. only wants to bring the best to the world. in a constant fight with his darker side, a side all of his brethren have. Pitch is his biggest regret. The way he turned on him, he really wishes he’d found a way to make him a part of the team, eternal osrizization was not part of what he’d thought would go down. robin : suave and almost childish at times, robin was raised in his youngest days amongst the poorest, without an inkling whom his father was, only with his mother as a friend and companion. however when she died at the moment he found himself alone. who should come sweeping in but his birth father a lord in need of his heir. the man thought to turn robin into the epitome of a noble by lavishing everything on him. unfortunately for him all the fancies and fripperies instead appalled robin and he left his father’s home to live with the lowest in the thieves forest where he started to help build a community of those spurned by society. currently he cares for the child of one of his fallen men while adjusting to an injury recently obtained during a failed rescue. diaval : born on bald mountain as a natural shapeshifter, diaval never knew his parents nor even if they had bothered to give him a name. in fact he might have perished an unwanted infant had some unknown man not decided for some reason to care for him, for a few years anyway. he also never cared enough to give him a name, referring to him as ‘boy’. however at the age of five the lad found himself alone once again, but this time with scared villagers fearing him for his abilities, which is how he got his name, a word that means ‘devil’. meant as an insult, he started to wear it instead as a badge. if he could not make them accept him he’d live off their fear. tales of crows bringing bad luck started but in fact it was all the work of the young shapeshifter who never was allowed to fit in. along the way he discovered one person who not only put up with him but found his skill to be useful and wonderful. maleficent. chernabog : once a daemon of comparatively benevolent nature, chernabog was spurned by his species and turned from hell for being too ‘soft’ upon the mortal inhabitants of the world. desperate to win his right back into his home, he now stops at nothing to prove himself a true bringer of evil, everything and everyone he sees as a way of furthering his own ends. the one and only acception being his two dogs, whose company he enjoys. not that he would ever let any soul know this.

wanted  connections  -  sandy : the guardians ! all of them ! we already know he adores jack ( we luff u ) and he’d get along well with toothiana’s cheerful demeanor, though he’d most likely dislike north and bunnymund a bit more. but not wholly. pitch ! he greatly regrets everything that happened with pitch black. i feel he’d have spent the past while lowkey trying to make it up, and barely holds a grudge for the whole arrow to the back thing. friends ! more unseelie, maybe some fae from the summer or spring courts for some strain. really anyone tbh, sandy loves people ! a love interest ! give mah boi a luffly boi to love ! must be able to speak in sign language or at least willing to learn ! unaffiliated or hero would work best, but a villain who has doubts about their alignment might work as well ! robin : maid marian ! totally open to this being a ship, or a broship, an exes plot, anything really ! just give him the spitfire that kept him sane through some trying times ! the merry men ! all those dedicated rascals we all love ! the big strong john little ( i have a plot with him specifically i’d love to talk about ! ), the irascable will scarlett ! the talented alan-a-dale ! maybe an oc merry man or merry woman ! enemies ! the sheriff of nottingham and/or guy of gisborne ! maybe a villain from another tale who has it out for robin ! estranged family who sees him as a threat of sorts could most certainly be fun ! diaval : the old man on the mountain ! this would be the an who took the time to care for a child who was not his, but never even gave him a name before disappearing once again, whether by his own choice or due to external forces ! could be of any allegiance, only necessities are old enough to have been thought of as a man by a five year old and have lived on bald mountain at some point ! so much potential for this connection ! friends ! lets face it, this boy could use some people who dont hate and fear him for a change, especially ones closer to his own age ! probably people who love mischief as much as he does ! enemies ! you don’t get to be maleficent’s right hand man by being nice to everyone and he is certainly on bad terms with at least a handful of people ! the biffle ! this would be none other than maleficent herself ! i see them as sort of platonic soulmates, of sorts ! always been close to each other and always have each  others backs ! chernabog : enemies ! obviously when plotting the downfall of a whole world you come across people who disagree with your views and want to see you destroyed as much as you want to see the same done to them ! the welcome annoyance ! someone who pushes all his buttons in an almost fearless way that he almost respects and secretly finds a refreshing change of pace ! just be careful not to push it too far…. a crush ( maybe ? ) ! someone who maybe is attracted to his power and dominance over the world ! or maybe they see the softer daemon he used to be even though he has long tried to quash that side ! i dunno exactly how this would go tbh, but it’d be fun to explore !

goals  for  your  character  -  for all of them i’d love to see how it affects their alliances and morality. robin, i could see how the effects war has on the lower class could push him to be slightly less heroic. or sandy may find his darker side pulling him to do unsavoury things despite his best efforts. perhaps diaval will meet someone from the hero side willing to accept him as much or seemingly more than maleficent, making him question loyalties. and chernabog may yet return to being the more benevolent version of himself he once was ( i doubt it but maybe ).

favorite  tasks  -  anything character development or worldbuilding, tbh !

favorite  events  -  got one word for you. m a s q u e r a  d e ! there was also one i did once where people were implanted with memories of others and something like that could be interesting !

any  ideas  - just keep doing what you're doing !  .

anything  else  - just v excited to be back ! .

[kae-karo]

lmao so i thought someone asked for an analysis of the gwf vid like i could’ve sworn i had that ask so y’all just have to deal with me posting it anyway here ya go lads golf gone sexual™: the final edition

the fucking. the pirate outfits. the. i’m. i don’t. i can’t. (x) ‘left over from somewhere’

fucking phil ‘u lost ur stick last time i think’ yeah phil sure yeah sure okay buddy

‘choke me daddy festive edition’ @ dan pls stop

what cuties i love them just not actually knowing what they’re doing and messing it up and these awkward long pauses before they burst into a fit of giggles i love them

why did they even bring up the ‘winter update’ like it had no relevance??

crinkly boye

don’t worry i can host dan what are u even on about

phil out here coming up with a great vid name (yo ho ho) and they went with battle for the booty smh that says everything u ever need to know abt dnp

wow even in this year of 2018 we got yet another ur mum joke (and phil’s right we do love kath)

@ dan pls stop ur bf from making weird hand gestures okay that’s,,,,,it’s unnecessary

hi they cute

‘u absolute twit nipple’ how on earth does that still sound so fond what the fuck

and another ur mum joke wow i just,,,,wow

the way dan says ‘oh my god that was good’ like. he never sounds like that??? it’s a good sound he should sound like it more often idk it’s like soft and genuine in a sort of ‘wow i did okay??’ kinda cute surprised way??

‘stop talking about how close this is’ dan,,,,,,really u thought that was bad??? really??? really?????

phil’s deep-voiced yarr and dan’s literal only reaction being that he should’ve made a pun out of it leads me to believe philip does that deep voice often enough that dan is entirely unfazed and idk how i feel abt that

‘just bounced off the rim that’s how i like to play it, don’t go in, just bounce off it’ that cheeky fuckin smile daniel please can u not

lmao the pirate outfit is unlucky hm

hi i love dan’s lil trying-not-to-smile-but-just-about-to-smile smile when he’s staring at phil it makes me happy

how did they spend ten minutes (okay ten full seconds) trying to figure out the name of the wheel

dan: makes f/phat booty pun, phil: ‘they’re just filled with ass they’re not even coins’

same dan

important content

ik everyone’s said it by now but dan’s choice of adjective was great and i’m here for it (’gaily jumping off the ship’)

dan’s lil smile when phil’s ‘gaily adjusting his stance’

dimply boye

how does phil just blatantly ignore ‘phil’s edging us guys’ like idk i mean i hyperfocus too but like damn they really must just talk about that kind of stuff on a regular basis bc u don’t just tune that out y’know

phil’s distracted ‘that is so much ass’

‘yarrs’ carries the same energy as when dan made the ‘ain’t no gravy up in this kitch’ joke in the bunny biscuits vid and stared at phil and waited for his joke to be acknowledged

my kink is dan looking hilariously fond abt phil making bad sex-related comments (’it’s a strap-on’)

hey phil u know if u swear in another language it’s still swearing right?

did dan just absolutely commit to the harder flag?? without saying anything abt it? even though he lost?

phil just. out here. purposely almost-swearing. we stan

ik i saw this joke elsewhere but phil ur literally staring at a posh pirate mmkay b

i just wanna know what was going through dan’s head with ‘oingo boingo i’m a dick’ bc like. u okay there b??

ye dan we know ur geometry skills are quite lacking but glad the whole reference thing just keeps on coming up

‘they’re gonna do an exam about me and everyone’s gonna get an A star’ i mean that’s living in the phandom isn’t it? We all aspire to be phil trash, even though only One can hold the ultimate title

okay like take five seconds and take a step back they’re literally just playing golf i love how stupidly competitive they get it’s adorable

‘oh dear’ makin a comeback

plankspank.com why are they like this (at least phil didn’t buy the domain this time)

danny u have picked up ur husband’s habit of making a cawing noise whenever u get a birdie

why does he do this

physically in pain

fucking hell dan why do u have to make this so goddamn sexual i didn’t ask for this i didn’t want u talkin bout how it was a slow one and u put it in and jfc look i read phanfiction for a reason i don’t actually wanna know what ur sex life is like okay

britney spears references wow is it 2010 again or is that just all the foreplay golf,,,,,play,,,,,

dan,,,,,,,,

re: the tentacle: ‘that is gonna be right,,,,somewhere’ dan we got it u did not have to add ‘right in the poop deck’ and ur fucking noise okay we did Not need that

i lied earlier my kink is dan saying he cannot believe smth

this is just becoming a masterpost of all the weird faces dan makes

‘it’s part of the loser station for idiots who get everything wrong’ ???? dan help i can’t tell are u a seven y.o child who makes up mean insults when u lose or a twenty-seven year old adult who makes sex jokes n innuendos bc this vid is giving me mixed vibes

🎶🎶there she goes, there she goes again🎶🎶

awwwww matching nerds

dan n his fuckin squeaky i’m-making-fun-of-u voice

‘some people are just skilled booty raiders’ #dantops2k18

Important Dan Fact™ if u can see his lil corner of his mouth u can bet u could see his dimple on the other side and i’m suing bc we can’t see it

why did it take them like 3 tries to figure out they had to time it with the cannons i mean it’s like they’ve never played a vid game in their lives

bite it danny boy u know u want to u also know if it were the other way round phil would’ve bitten at dan’s finger

more dan face

phil absolutely going off topic with ‘sometimes i want to explore with fashion’ and dan’s immediate ‘oh do u now phil lmao’

‘so many textures out there’ he cute

i mean dan cute too but phil cute for sayin it

we stan boyfriends with literally the same brain whining abt lazy rivers and rude kids

hi sorry i just love watching phil when dan’s talking bc he pays so much attention like he used to not do that (back in the day) but like he just really turns and focuses on dan now and it makes me happy

i know we all adore dan’s ‘shut up’ but it always gives me life hearing phil tell dan to shut up

fond daniel

also phil’s super cute soft natural voice when he’s talking about how he keeps saying ‘watch this’

has phil ever gotten this frustrated with gwf lmao

‘bollocks’ as if that’s a thing they say

just kiss him phil goddamn i mean u wanna win right what better way to throw him off his game

why did maximum yeet have to become a thing i s2g

‘why am i helping’ bc u have absolutely no willpower and u want phil to be happy bc it makes u happy that’s why

why,,,,,,,why does everything satisfying have to be sexual phil, why. just. why. and then? golf gone sexual? as if that’s not a better title for the goddamn vid than ‘battle for the booty’ at least it’s accurate??? ‘battle for the booty’ i expect them dueling irl over who gets to top next or some shit that is why u call a vid ‘battle for the booty’

dan,,,,,,pls let ur bf make the weird noises okay

hi sorry what the Fuck is this

is that meant to be a monkey or some shit like what???????

that is a skeleton pirate thing what the hell

why does he have such a long face

idk they cute when they look at each other like they're like having a serious convo even tho they aren’t (although i wouldn’t be shocked if making puns is an important point of communication between them)

also fun fact i heard phil saying ‘jewel’ for the first like five times instead of duel

phil, realizing he’s said something he shouldn’t have

a cute

hi once again i love them

phil doing his face covering thing why does he always look at least 3x cuter when he’s doing it whilst staring at dan

‘i got the octopus, he’s gonna marry me, we’re gonna have tentacle hooked babies with parrots on the crib’

same dan same

and then he turns around n says ‘spank me with a plank and call me poopy susan’ wtf is wrong with them

‘u love a good tentacle don’t u’ show me where i asked

dan, actually considering how that would feel with all the tentacles:

how did they go from phil saying ‘you love a good tentacle’ to saying ‘(you/we) should get some of those’ to dan saying ‘no, you shouldn’t’ like uhm. wot

this

[gangofoutlaws]

CHAPTER THREE: The Rhodes Parlour House

Previous chapter(s) : One  Two  Also @ wattpad Summary:  'The past will only haunt you if you keep it alive in the present' You join the van der Linde gang when they are in need of a hunter. Finally getting your life back to normal after a rough period almost a year ago.  It is not easy to give your trust and heart to people but bit by bit you manage to trust these folks. Maybe even love again? Is this finally the time to breath... Or will the past catch up with you?

Warnings: Explicit | Characters: Arthur Morgan x F!Reader  Sean MacGuire Dutch van der Linde   Words: 1,5K

A/N

Hello, first thing. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story. English is not my first language and with the constant drive to be perfect, it something holds me from creating. I have a lot to learn, structure wise and such. But it's better to get it out than post nothing right?

The Saloon

The Rhodes Parlor House is filled with the town's people when the van der Linde gang merges with the crowd. The room smells like cheap whiskey and cigarettes, floorboards are sticky from fallen liquid and the smoke is hanging around like a curtain through the room. The piano man brings up the ambiance with catchy tunes and a few people are enjoying themselves with dance steps on the rhythm. A fairly nice saloon compared to the others you traveled through before, but the insides are always the same. People who'd like to escape the rough day with some alcoholic beverages.

After coming back from the successful raid this afternoon, Dutch is in such a good mood he'd suggest celebrating with a few in the saloon. Just like old times, he said. No idea what their old times mean but you sure remember your occasional bar drinking and waking up with a headache days. Those stopped when you traveled alone on the road, it all became a tricky business going into saloons at night. Only for food or a business proposal would you step in one, at daytime that is. Getting asked by Dutch did not make you think twice to go with.

"Gentlemen and lady..." Dutch winks at Karen "You might have seen her around, but I know some of you don't. This here is Miss y/n. She joined us not too long ago and I only hear great things about her work. Let's give her a proper welcome!" Standing behind you, Dutch puts his hands on your shoulders pushing you closer to those who are present.

The sudden attention from the leader and the eyes gazing upon you made your cheeks flush. You're not a shy person at all but this came out of nowhere and for a moment you can't bring out a word and just smile politely. A modest smile back from Hosea as he can see you are a bit tensed by your posture. A wise and calm man you have discovered, he made you feel secure with only using little words of wisdom in time of need. With Hosea, Karen and John are also familiar and you have met before around camp. The new faces are Lenny, Charles, and even though you have seen each other once, now he has a name; Arthur.

"That was you right? At the horses this afternoon," Arthur says a bit doubtfully when he takes this moment to address you personally. A bit caught by his low voice you turn to him.

"It was" you stumble, you fill the silence with "...what was your name again?"

Why did you ask that? You damn well know what his name is, Dutch just said it, but for some reason that is what you ask when you for some reason panicked...

His kind face is looking down on you, dark hair swept back from his features. The black over shirt that he is wearing has three buttons down and the sleeves are rolled up showing the dirt on his arms. A small smile on the corner of his lips before he parted to exchange words

"Arthur, I'm an easy forgettable man I know"

"No! that's not what I meant, i... " embarrassment is written on your face.

"It's fine." he cuts you off "So where u know Sean from? You two are pretty close"

Close? that's an odd word to choose but you don't really think much of it.

"from camp... Just from around camp actually"

Breaking the conversation Sean walks in with three classes in his hand

"So you met Arthur huh? He is a bit simple in the head but generally a nice lad" he gives you one of the glasses

The blue-eyed cowboy rolled his eyes as he is seeable irritated by Sean's mention and jerks a glass from his hand.

"Yeah well..., ain't you something special" a grumpy reply towards the red-headed man.

"Ah come on now Arthur, just trying to let her know who's around here" He fills the glass with the whiskey he got from the bar.

"Only when it's in your favor huh" Arthur uttered

Sean puts his elbow on the bar next to him, not feeding the annoyance of his friend.

"and what do you mean by that" peeking under his hat

"you got a weird sense of humor, Sean. Must have left you hanging like a pinata when I had the chance "

"seriously what? " he playfully pushes Arthur against the bar

"that you're doing whatever to look good in front of your lady..." there is a small hesitant in words he wants to use but he did it alright.

Lady? Not shaming Sean into not being an attractive human, but nowhere near partner material. You share a chuckle with Sean when looking at each other after this accusation. Arthur folds his arms and tries to look away, making his last words the end of the conversation.

"Right Arthur, as if she would fall for an Irish man like me " Sean puts his arm around you now and pulls you in "we do make a good couple, don't we?"

"Really funny" you laugh

The bottle in his hand is slowly filling up your glass and at this moment Arthur looks back. Is he trying to test the water where you stand in this group, particularly your status on being single or not? Been a while since you've been in a situation like this, that you almost feel asexual to everyone you meet. Can't deny you like this attention.

"I'm sorry miss y/n, didn't mean to offend you" Arthur takes his arms out of the closed posture and smiles towards the ground.

"You boys are really sweet on each other. Good, I don't fall for outlaws" you declare. They both look up at you as if you said something offending. It was not the intention to do so, but there are some trues in your words. Yeah, you fell for men with a particular background but that is a chain you want to break now. The next best thing should be someone without a violence environment and who earned his money the right way. Ever since you were a little girl you dreamed of a farmhouse somewhere in nature where you and your faceless husband would live a happy life. Until now you never got anything close to that dream, but you promised yourself to at least try this time.

Some time went on and you made more conversations with the others and ended up with Karen at one of the tables. You enjoy listening attentively to the stories about her being a dramatic actress that uses her skills to get anything she wanted. Such joy sparkles in her eyes how her scams and robberies bring out the outlaw in her.

You understand why Sean has an eye on her, being a perfect female version of him. Not to mention the same taste in drinking.

Even though her bold behavior there is something of a broken girl hiding. She doesn't say it exactly with words, but you feel it when she jumps from a sad to a brave note in just a second to not reveal any insecurities.

Maybe she had a rough patch with an old flame? you think by yourself

Old flame. Thinking about that reminds you of the card from earlier. The carefully written words are visible in your mind again.

"One hell of a time together - I"

A clear reference to the time in Tumbleweed, which is the image on the front of the card. The place you and your former suitor traveled through, making pleasant and unpleasant memories together. Ever since his departure there has been no contact whatsoever between the two of you and how things ended, there is really no reason to. Back then, it was a habit for him to send you cards in his absence. A way for him to let you know he is fine and that he thinks of you. That is how you interpreted this card... but why?

The way things ended, even he must know there is no way of reconciliation with you.

Your thoughts are being stopped when Arthur and Sean abruptly move into your seating area.

"Ladies, let's go," Arthur says with a serious look in his eyes.

"Trouble?" Karen asks with a little hint of a smile on her mouth. She liked a little bar fight now and then and she sure ain't backing out of any if presented.

"Not now," Arthur says under his breath, stopping her for making things worse.

"Those Lemoyne raiders are being tough. Dutch already left out the back with some. We got to go before they recognize any of us" he says leaning into the table looking at the men that stepped closer to the bar now.

That was it for the night. The men took you ladies save from the saloon and rode back to camp. A short but fun night though.

[meadowmines]

MAG64-68

In which I go on several face journeys in the middle of a laundromat. This one’s a long, wild ride, lads. Buckle up.

MAG64: Weird Shit of the Week, in The Buried flavor? ...wait, no, there were dice. That would be The End, except it’s dealing with something that can’t seem to die. Whatever. Jon being all “lul that’s what u get for giving me a statement about mummies” was delightful.

MAG65: oof. The Obligatory Creepypasta Episode but this is the one that had me making this face at the laundromat:

One thing, though--as I’ve mentioned, by now I can usually pin down what Entity is responsible for any given instance of Weird Shit of the Week pretty well, but this one stumped me and I Did Not Like That No Sir Not One Bit. My first thought was The Corruption. Yeah, sure, glitchy text and computer viruses are a whole different kind of “corruption” than we usually see associated with that gross fucker but it still kinda fits, especially considering the thing where it spread to other devices? But also a little bit of The Spiral, with the Ushanka chatbots’ tendencies to start off normal and then descend into batshit and the subject being the only one able to see any of this particular one? And a little bit of The Flesh, maybe, given the goings-on in the video and maybe depending on how gross a version of the Ushanka creepypasta you read?

So I just went to the wiki to do my customary post-listen read and also see if I could get some clarification on that and, well...

Short answer: no. 

Slightly longer answer: no and also The What Now?

So here I am making that Bloo face all over again because there is so very much about this case that I do not like at all and the apparent introduction of a whole new Entity that hasn’t come up before is giving me a serious case of what one of the ladies in the choir with me would refer to as “the wim-wams.”

And the cherry on this sundae is the thing where Jon went fishing for statements from techies for the express purpose of getting someone in to unlock Gertrude’s laptop, Jon, you sly dog, that was brilliant.

And then... Tim. oooooooof. I mean. On the one hand, yes, Jon, you have been kind of an asshole lately, granted not entirely without good reason, but you have still been kind of an asshole lately. And I do not blame Tim the least little bit for being Done With Your Shit.

On the other... literal chills when Jon invited Tim to quit and he couldn’t. God, this whole episode was a powerhouse.

MAG66: Oh goody, Mikaele Salesa is on his bullshit again. Well, I mean, he did warn the guy but still. ...waitaminnit. Lukas again. This has something to do with the Tundra from back in--whatever episode that was with the creepy ship full of empty shipping containers. What the fuck, man.

...son of a bitch, Gertrude was buying Leitners. And burning a lot of things in a lot of places, possibly other Archives? And deliberately obfuscating her filing system. What the fuck. What the fuck.

MAG67: Oh good, Agnes Montague again. I guess I should update my Name That Entity guide to add her name to The Desolation. Anyway. Sorry you got horny for the girl that burns shit, buddy. But. The tree falling. Yep, THAT tree falling.  Hooo shit.

The statement was interesting especially with that connection but it’s the supplemental that set off the alarm bells, that one line from Elias: “You know how hard it would be to replace you.” 

oh??? 

And Jon’s “uh thanks I guess but I rly don’t?” reaction. 

No, Elias, Jon doesn’t know how hard it would be to replace him and neither do we, would you care to enlighten us??? hmm????¿

So. Elias has just rocketed straight to the top of my “shady motherfuckers to keep an eye on” list. Yes, he just knocked Not-Sasha out of the top spot. Not-Sasha is just an archival assistant, just doing whatever a Not-Person does for lulz, at least that’s the impression I get (also breaking a lot of the Institute’s computers HELLO JON DO THE FUCKING MATH ALREADY). Elias, though. Position of authority. Been there a loooooong time. Clearly knows a lot more about a lot of things than he’s letting on. SEEMS TO KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT JON THAT JON DOESN’T KNOW ABOUT HIMSELF. 

MAG68: Creepy books? Ah shit, did this guy find a Leitner--OH GODDAMMIT NOT JOHN AMHERST’S NASTY ASS AGAIN

...wait, what leaked cases from 1999? That sounds interesting.

JON FFS. The computers breaking. The “””lost””” tape from Ms. Ten Thousand Worms In A Trenchcoat’s siege on the Institute. The missing recordings. (Not-)Sasha not wanting to be recorded. Melanie referring to “the new girl.” That table in Artifact Storage and the statements YOU YOUR OWN SELF recorded that had to do with it. Stock Photo Tom. And now for whatever reason you have actually gotten an itty bitty peek behind Not-Sasha’s mask, YOU HAVE ALL THE PIECES RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF YOU, PUT THE DAMN PUZZLE TOGETHER!

[gallifreyanlibertea]

Nautical Nonsense (1/?)

a/n: this started off as a really silly SpongeBob AU I had in mind about a year or so ago. I hope to god this doesn’t mean I’m writing second-hand SpongeBob fanfiction but yeah, I... yeah. It’s not meant to be serious, and it’s just, if anything, personal indulgence. 

Each chapter’s title will reference the episode that inspired it, in case you wanna watch it and catch any references :)

Help Wanted

His morning alarm was a foghorn. A bold, bellowing, yet somehow strangely noble sound, which yes, was quite literally a foghorn.

Alfred Jones didn’t understand what made the noise so appealing. Was it the childhood he spent living by the sea? With the faint noise of ships and the crashing of waves against the shore lulling him to bed? A life by the coast with the smell of salt in the air, the taste of it on his lips after wading into the afternoon tide, the dreadfully parched state it left his hair?

Whatever it was, it sure as heck woke him up.

But no, today wasn’t the day to hit snooze and steal himself more time. He found himself springing out of the warmth of his sheets, padding off into the bathroom with a willpower not many people had so early in the morning.

“Today’s the big day, Gary!”

(Gary responded with a drowsy mew before letting his head flop back into the bedsheets.)

Yes, today was a big day indeed.

The getting-ready bit was easy. A quick shower and an adequate amount of teeth-brushing later, he was slipping into relatively-formal clothes and heading out the door, stopping to lift his weights for a bit because he had to be in top physical condition today, truly.

The real problem lied in the nerves that hit after he stepped out onto the welcome mat. What was otherwise a beautiful day, with cotton-candy clouds and skies so blue they warranted ukulele music to fit the mood, seemed crushingly large. Everything seemed so full of expectation to Alfred, who, to face the facts, wasn’t quite ready to be an adult.

And if anything, today, the big day, required of him to be an adult.

“I’m ready.” A chant under his breath, following his inhale and his exhale as he walked down the street with a bounce in his step, face set in determined stone when he was, in fact, not very ready.

And despite the “you got this!” text from Gilbert, a friend who wasn’t known for being awake in these early hours, Alfred still felt the heavy dread in the pit of his stomach.

He was applying for a job in what was easily the finest eating establishment ever established for eating.

He was applying to work at what stood right before him, in all its glory: The Krusty Krab.

Sure, it was a kitsch eatery themed in a way many others were, especially seeing as it was located in a seaside town like theirs, but oh. Their burgers, their fries, heck, even the soda anyone drank within the four walls of the restaurant was made ten times better.

Alfred wanted so desperately to work there.

“Oh god, I’m not ready.” Were the last words he murmured before shoving through the glass doors because he knew. Gilbert would slap him left and right if he gave up this opportunity.

(Unknowing to Alfred, of course, an existing employee had already begun to mourn his sanity at the sight of Alfred’s arrival. A certain neighbour of Alfred’s who thought work was the only place he could escape that loud, loud manchild.)

“Uh, Mr. Kirkland!”

Alfred seemed plenty oblivious to the audible groan from the cash register, where a dejected Roderich Edelstein buried his face into his palms.

He instead kept his eyes trained on the Mr. Kirkland mentioned, who stood staring at him with scraggly brows raised.

“Hi, I’m Alfred, I-”

Alfred liked to watch action movies. Especially the ones with the overdone special effects, where a flying kick could be slowed down so it seemed like years before the foot hit the enemy’s head.

Well, right now was something similar.

His view of Mr. Kirkland, along with Roderich who now seemed to be peering over the register, jerked like in the films, slowly shifting until it was way above him and he, a bit winded, had fallen to the ground.

Oh heck.

The red flooding to his cheeks came as fast as he’d scrambled to stand up, brushing off his clothes with a sheepish smile as Mr. Kirkland’s brows shot up impossibly high.

“Uh- Hello, permission to come aboard, Captain?”

Mr. Kirkland didn’t respond.

“Hah, tough crowd. Well, uh, I’ve been training my whole life for the day I join the Krusty crew!” Alfred managed a grin, “Couldn’t help but see the Help Wanted sign and, well, when do I start?”

Of all the things that could go wrong, every single one of them had managed to share the spotlight.

“Well, lad, it looks like you don’t even have your sea legs.” Was Mr. Kirkland’s response after what seemed like ages of silence. The accent made the message heavier than it was, slamming into Alfred with its rolled ‘r’s and overall piratey aura.

Well, Alfred supposed it was what he deserved for being cocky.

“It was like, a nail in the boards or something-”

“Well,” Mr. Kirkland sighed, carding his hand through his cherry-red hair as Roderich gave him a narrow-eyed look Alfred didn’t quite understand. “Look, lad, I’m sorry.”

“Mr. Kirkland, just one chance!”

What had Alfred done wrong? Besides the falling on the first impression and the excessive talking, there couldn’t have been anything barring him from being an adequate fry cook, right? Yet there he was, standing before the employer of his dreams, watching as his friendly neighbour Roderich gave Mr. Kirkland looks akin to those he’d give Alfred when knocking on his door over a noise complaint.

(Roderich’s violin pieces didn’t sound as elegant when accompanied by grating laughter and dimwitted squealing. He doubted the ambience of his workplace would be affected any different.)

“Listen-” Mr. Kirkland began.

The hiss of a bus slowing to a halt. “Uh-” Alfred threw a glance over his shoulder, turning back with a frenzied smile, “That’s a tour bus chock-full of people, I think you’d need the extra help, just try me out, will ya?”

And so Alfred gained himself the honour to wear the Krusty Krab cap, a white, blue-billed, anchor-adorned cap resting atop his blond locks as he flipped patties like there was no tomorrow.

Mr. Kirkland surely didn’t mind, no. After all, who could mind the sound of a ringing register and the smell of coins in the air? Roderich didn’t seem to mind either, what with the monotonous droning of his “may I take your order” and that secret smile hidden behind his deadpan demeanour.

(Roderich was not smiling.)

All was well that way.

Gilbert had taken him out to the movies that night and they’d stuffed their faces full of candy and cola, giggling up the driveway to Alfred’s house as Roderich watched, narrow-eyed, from his window.

“So you got the job!” Gilbert said.

“Yeah, I got the job!” Alfred shouted for what was nearly the eighteenth time that night. “I get to see Roderich all day now, isn’t it neat?”

Alfred and Gilbert sent a coupled wave in Roderich’s direction, through his window- neighbours to neighbour- and Roderich shut the curtains. Gilbert grinned, patting Alfred on the back.

“Don’t make new best friends, okay?”

“I don’t think I can, Gil.”

Alfred had always believed you could only have one best friend. The fact lied in the name, for only one thing could be the best and for him, it was Gilbert. Never mind the fact that the two were essentially polar opposites. So what if Alfred wanted to work a job and Gilbert was content playing video games in his house, living off his parents’ money? So what if Alfred wanted to explore the world, and Gilbert was content living under a rock? It just worked!

“Send me a postcard, Al.” He’d say, “Yanno, where you’re out in the desert or Brazil or something, bring me something nice.”

Yes, they were best friends, and nothing Alfred could think of could change that.

That was, at least, before he went to work on his fifth day at the job.

“Welcome to the Krusty Krab, my name is Roderich. May I take your order?” A voice that was as dead as the evening rush.

Alfred chewed his grin as he absent-mindedly spun his spatula. Evening hours were his favourite, because like a good story, every workday had a climax and every evening came with a resolution.

This was the resolution.

The sizzling died down, the last customer had walked in to order one last meal, and Alfred would prepare it, Roderich would serve it, and the register would ring, for the last time that day. The glass door would thud as the last customer pushed through it, and if Alfred was lucky, Mr. Kirkland would let him flip the We Are Open! sign.

Plus, Alfred could only go so long without wanting rest for his achy arms.

“Alfred, I need ten Krabby Patties to go.”

Blue eyes blinked. “Ten?”

A sigh and Roderich turned, narrow eyes glaring through the window into the kitchen. “I said ten, didn’t I?”

Ten was an awful lot. Nothing Alfred couldn’t handle during a lunchtime rush, but with arms as sore as his and a mind winding down with the sun on the horizon, it didn’t seem like something he really wanted to do.

But so be it, ten was ten.

He fished a patty out onto the stove.

“Forget it, Alfred, you don’t have to make that order.” Mr. Kirkland called from outside.

Alfred turned his furrowed-brow gaze to Roderich, who replied with a monotonous “whatever”.

Alfred turned the stove off.

“I’m a paying customer, I’ll have you know. I demand my ten burgers to go!” Another accent, this one a smoother lilt.

“Come flip the sign, Alfred lad.” Mr. Kirkland interjected. “We’re closed.”

Mr. Kirkland turning down a paying customer? Alfred slipped out of the kitchen, leaving the spatula on its little hook by the stove, swiping his hat off his head and holding it to his chest, “Sir, it’s only ten, I can make it, no problem.”

“It’s not about that, Alfred, just flip the darn sign.”

Roderich sighed from behind him, slipping out from his counter, a kitschy boat extension attached to the wall. He was quick to leave, not much for the drama unless it was on the television.

Alfred, however, was nothing if glued to the scene.

“Cute fry-cook,” The stranger flashed him a dry smile, to which Alfred responded with a red-faced grin, “Did you tell him what happened to the last one?”

Suddenly, Alfred didn’t feel like grinning anymore.

“Relax, lad, he didn’t die or nothin’.” Mr. Kirkland said, rolling his eyes, “He just left because Plankton ‘ere wouldn’t stop pesterin’ him.”

“Untrue!” The man whose name was supposedly Plankton shrieked in response.

Alfred’s head hurt.

He was never one for suspense. No, not suspenseful books or movies or stories his grandmother would tell him that had a climax further from the beginning than a few seconds. Heck, even school books they were forced to read, when showing even a sliver of suspenseful promise, he flipped to the last page and relieved himself. Alfred didn’t like suspense.

So naturally, it made sense that Alfred had bit his lip and made a meek interjection into what was blossoming into a full out one-sided screaming match. “Uh, who are you, exactly?”

Mr. Kirkland sighed, rubbing the space between his brows, “Go home, lad, don’t bother yourself with this.”

“Ah, you’re just scared he’ll take my side, aren’t you, Allistair?”

“Lock up on your way out, Alfred.” And Mr. Kirkland was gone, dragging the stranger by the collar until they were out through the glass doors and Alfred’s curious eyes caught another inaudible argument. Mr. Kirkland gestured, Plankton gestured more, and Mr. Kirkland was gone after one sinister point in Alfred’s direction, possibly a “don’t talk to him”.

Alfred slunk back into the kitchen, tossing the patty into the bin and cleaning his spatula in warm, soapy water. Surely this Plankton guy couldn’t be dangerous, right? Why would Mr. Kirkland just let him hang around, then? Alfred was a valued employee!

He patted the utensil with a towel, letting it hang on its hook before going out to the register. Even though Mr. Kirkland usually got the collecting-money job done the second after the last customer left, there was no harm in checking.

“Hello there, Alfred, was it?”

“You’re not supposed to be in here, we’re closed,” Alfred said shakily, checking the register. Empty.

He moved into the kitchen, hoping his lack of conversation would drive the stranger away, only to find upon his return with a soaked rag that Plankton was now seated at one of the tables, picking at the sleeve of his green sweater.

“You need to leave, sir.” It was a wobbly request.

“It’s awful mean of Allistair to leave you in here to clean up all by yourself, isn’t it, now?”

“It’s my job, I’ll be fine!”

“Well, let me help.” And Plankton was out of his seat, hand outstretched as Alfred reluctantly placed the damp rag in his palm. “I’ll clean the tabletops, I suppose you’ll sweep up?”

“Oh, uh yeah.”

Alfred liked to sweep. It put a lot of work in his arms, but it kept his hands dry and the floors neat. He definitely liked it better than cleaning tabletops- floors rarely had particles of what was inside someone else.

Plankton seemed to agree, judging by the downward curve of his lips as he placed the least possible skin contact into the dirty towel.

“So, Plankton-”

“Please don’t call me that.” The man who did not want to be called Plankton sighed, nose crinkling at a particularly hard ketchup stain. “I’d rather you call me Arthur, that’s my actual name.”

Arthur. The name suited him. Whenever Alfred thought of British people, the name Arthur was the first in mind, along with smooth, pretty accents and a mean sense of humour.

Arthur’s accent was smooth and pretty but he didn’t seem to be mean at all.

In fact, he seemed pretty nice as he was scrubbing down tables so Alfred wouldn’t have to. Not to mention using the word “please”, now that was nice if anything.

“Plankton doesn’t sound much like Arthur to be a good nickname.” Alfred pointed out.

Arthur shrugged, “Allistair has been calling me that since I was three, when we would play pirates.”

That was a cute thought. Alfred couldn’t help smiling at it, a small Mr. Kirkland with a piratey hat to match his piratey voice.

“He said it was because I was small, and always wore green.” Arthur paused, eyes drifting down to his green sweater, an action that pulled a laugh from Alfred’s lips. “I suppose I am still small and green.”

Alfred swept absent-mindedly, growing weary of the dull throb in his biceps. “How do you guys know each other?”

“My name is Arthur Kirkland, we’re brothers.”

Brothers! There was nothing dangerous about a brother. The knot between Alfred’s shoulder blades loosened a bit and he let himself smile, loosening his work uniform’s bright red tie. “In that case, I can go make you your order really fast, anything for the boss’ bro!”

“I can’t ask you of that,” Arthur said with a small smile.

Alfred mirrored the smile, putting his broom into the back closet and fetching himself another rag to help Arthur finish a particularly tough ketchup stain.

“Tell you what, how about I come by tomorrow, lunch? You can give them to me out back.”

The knot was back and a nervous chuckle passed through Alfred’s grinning lips. “Why’s it gotta be so secret?”

Wide green eyes.

Gary liked to eat off of Alfred’s plate when he wasn’t looking, especially when Gilbert would force them to watch horror movies and Alfred took to burying his face into his palms at a particularly quiet scene, the ones just before the jump scare.

Gary would walk onto him just then, nipping at the tub of popcorn in his lap.

He’d widen his eyes when Alfred caught him. It was kinda like what Arthur was doing just then.

Alfred just didn’t know what it meant.

“Um, Allistair is a bit mad at me, so I feel it would be best if I didn’t show my face- or that you didn’t tell him you were, uh, doing this for me.”

“Why is he mad?”

“Oh,” Arthur chewed his lip, letting his eyes glance the lock screen of his phone before coming back up to meet Alfred’s gaze. “You know, brotherly spats. Nothing serious. See you tomorrow?”

And he was gone, leaving spotless tables and a confused Alfred in his wake.

Alfred locked the doors of the Krusty Krab behind him, the cool evening air leaving goosebumps on his bared arms, left to the elements by the short white sleeves of his work uniform.

The floor had been swept, the money had been tucked away into Mr. Kirkland’s office and the sign had been flipped at last, but somehow, it didn’t feel like a resolution.

Instead, as he walked back to his house, waving “goodnight” towards Roderich’s window, who replied with a fond tug of his curtains, it rather felt more like the moments that warned him to flip to the end of the book. The parts of the story that climbed into a climax, suspense.

And Alfred’s stomach hurt.

[hanalwayssolo]

My Attendance Is Bad, But My Intentions Are Good

A/N: My last piece is for day 2 of @glaiveweek! Permission to write my Kingsglaive babies having a happy time. Written in Crowe’s POV, because. My girl. Deserved. Better. :) Inspired by the entire team dynamic in Brooklyn Nine Nine (I want to explain this further but gosh I think it merits a different post) and governed by most of my headcanons with these cuties (again, to be explained probablyyyy on a separate post), so please expect lots of crack, shenanigans, a truckload of pop culture references, etc. 

Ahhh and tagging some folks again: @eternallydaydreaming2015 @hypaalicious @louisvuittontrashbags @cupnoodle-queen @theyearofdiamonddogs @nifwrites @themissimmortal

Nyx Ulric 3:02 AM Glaives, we have a situation.

Crowe was still awake in the comfort of her bed when she caught Nyx’s message in the Glaive group chat—one that Tredd renamed lil fuckaz for the heck of it earlier—and she followed the trail of messages that popped in her phone screen.

Nyx Ulric 3:02 AM I know you guys won’t believe this but

Nyx Ulric 3:02 AM Check the captain’s calendar

Nyx Ulric 3:02 AM and get this: he’s free tomorrow

Nyx Ulric 3:02 AM AND HE’S NEVER FREE

Nyx Ulric 3:02 AM And then I remembered

Nyx Ulric 3:02 AM WHY OF COURSE

Luche Lazarus 3:03 AM yes nyx we know it’s the captain’s bday tomorrow

Crowe smiled at Nyx’s overeager message thread; knowing Nyx, she immediately assumed her good lad of a friend was somewhere in downtown Insomnia, drinking his stress away. Also, she didn’t expect Luche to be awake at this hour. In any case, something about this conversation confused her. Apart from Nyx’s rowdy chat etiquette—which she was fairly used to—what bugged Crowe was her memory of things: she clearly remembered getting partied out a couple of nights back thanks to Drautos’s birthday party hosted by no less than the Glaive’s personally-dubbed veteran party animal, Clarus Amicitia.

There was a brief minute of pause in the group chat commotion, and then:

Nyx Ulric 3:03 AM Nobody asked you Luche stfu

Nyx Ulric 3:03 AM Anyway. As I was saying.

Nyx Ulric 3:03 AM Yes, it’s the captain’s birthday tomorrow

Luche Lazarus 3:04 AM i’m willing to bet my ass you’re planning an outrageous surprise party

Nyx Ulric 3:04 AM You can bet your pasty ass i will and WE SHALL DO IT

Before Crowe could even chime in, Pelna already butted in the conversation, and started wrecking his own havoc:

Pelna Khara 3:05 AM count me the fuck in

Pelna Khara 3:05 AM i’ll buy the cake

Pelna Khara 3:05 AM clarus didn’t let me buy the book cake last Year :(

Pelna Khara 3:05 AM *boob

Pelna Khara 3:05 AM ***boobs

Pelna Khara 3:06 AM had to correct that so y’all know the cake was shaped as a pair of boobs not just one

Of course, where there was trouble, Crowe already thought that Tredd was close by, raring to add to this steaming pile of shenanigans.

And when Crowe saw his name pop into her screen, she grinned. When it came to her personal assessment of her friends, Crowe was always right.

Tredd Furia 3:06 AM lmao

Tredd Furia 3:06 AM i’ll go buy the booze my fam

Tredd Furia 3:06 AM also is it just me or nyx is using punctuation marks or am i just 2 high

Nyx Ulric 3:07 AM Fuck you Tredd

Nyx Ulric 3:07 AM I was trying to drive a point

Pelna Khara 3:07 AM nah tredd just too high i can secondhand smoke your joint even from here

Tredd Furia 3:07 AM fuck u pelna :) :) :)

Nyx Ulric 3:07 AM Anyway thanks guys, we’ll do this in briefing room A

Luche Lazarus 3:08 AM i didn’t agree to the alcohol losers but whatever

Nyx Ulric 3:09 AM u scared daddy’s gonna dish out some disciplinary action, leader? ;)

Luche Lazarus 3:09 AM fuck u

Axis Arra 3:10 AM i can’t believe tredd woke me up for this shit

Nyx Ulric 3:10 AM And Crowe, I know you’re awake I can see your tiny bubble just lurking in this convo

Pelna Khara 3:11 AM wow axis just responded to a group chat conversation

Pelna Khara 3:11 AM blessed be the stars

Tredd Furia 3:11 AM this surprise party’s gonna be litttttt af

Nyx Ulric 3:12 AM hi there axis you and sonitus take care of the food

Axis Arra 3:13 AM ok

While the conversation rolled along, Crowe still had this nagging feeling that the entire arrangement was too… odd. Luche easily joining this nonsense was already out of the ordinary, but Axis—quiet and soft-spoken Axis Arra—replying to this mess and just agreed to help organize this shitstorm? Crowe had seen her friends do strange things, but this one weirdly made her queasy. Not to mention, they have been acting rather funny around her these past couple of days. She stared at her phone screen, trying to rake her thoughts on that last party. She was definitely sure that party happened. She could still taste the acrid smoke from that sordid bar, and she could still remember hooking up with that heavily tattooed man whose name was the only thing that she lost in her nebulous memory.

Just when Crowe was about to protest for a clarification, another message arrived from Nyx:

Nyx Ulric 3:15 AM btw where tf is Libertus at

Luche Lazarus 3:15 AM Poor Libertus Ostium, he is missing action

Luche Lazarus 3:15 AM So now I’m facing Nyx Ulric with his own faction

Pelna Khara 3:16 AM he’s very attractive in the north, Lucians like his chances

Tredd Furia 3:16 AM he’s not very forthcoming on any particular chances

Nyx Ulric 3:17 AM Gdi you all have been making hamilton references for a MONTH

Nyx Ulric 3:17 AM Can we get back to the task at hand please

Crowe sighed in exasperation as she scrolled away to more chunks of messages. Before the chat group could spiral into a new brand of trouble and out of its original topic, she finally managed to type her response:

Crowe Altius 3:18 AM libertus ran an errand with the crown prince’s advisor glasses boy

Crowe Altius 3:18 AM anyway

Nyx Ulric 3:19 AM THERE’S OUR FAVORITE MAGE

Pelna Khara 3:19 AM hi crowe moon of our lives

Tredd Furia 3:19 AM our khaleesi is here

Crowe Altius 3:18 AM you guys are fucking idiots

Crowe Altius 3:18 AM ANYWAY wasn’t the captain’s birthday three days ago???

Crowe Altius 3:18 AM pelna you even posted photos on your instagram acct

Crowe Altius 3:18 AM With the caption “today the Big D was born let us rejoice”

Crowe sat up on her bed and waited for a reply, but she later realized that she just unleashed a treasure trove of disaster with her last statement:

Pelna Khara 3:19 AM hey u gotta love that caption

Tredd Furia 3:19 AM and u gotta love the Big D

Nyx Ulric 3:20 AM i know luche does ;)

Luche Lazarus 3:20 AM haha very funny nyx

Tredd Furia 3:22 AM hahahahahahaha nyx gdi i choked on my fucking beer

Pelna Khara 3:22 AM that was some mighty fine dish that got served

Luche Lazarus 3:22 AM u sure u didn’t choke on some big d tredd :)

Tredd Furia 3:22 AM nope. but hey luche

Tredd Furia 3:22 AM ur ass is grass

Tredd Furia 3:22 AM and imma mow it

Axis Arra 3:23 AM eyyyy

Nyx Ulric 3:23 AM LMAO OK SEXUAL TENSION ASIDE

Nyx Ulric 3:23 AM Relax you guys

Nyx Ulric 3:23 AM I know we all love our big captain drautos so much

Crowe Altius 3:24 CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE ANSWER MY FUCKING QUESTION YOU BAGS OF HELPLESS DICKS

Pelna Khara 3:24 AM as you wish khaleesi forgive our brethren

Pelna Khara 3:24 AM to answer your question: yes, but that party was from the higher ups

Pelna Khara 3:24 AM his actual birthday is tomorrow

Pelna Khara 3:24 AM crowe my sun and stars trust me on this

Luche Lazarus 3:25 AM i can confirm pelna’s statements

Tredd Furia 3:25 AM same

Axis Arra 3:25 AM ^^^

Sonitus Bellum 3:25 AM hi

Nyx Ulric 3:25 AM i confirm pelna’s statements as well

As well? Nyx hated attaching that in any phrase, Crowe remembered, for reasons beyond her. Despite the group’s typical rascally response, Crowe still felt skeptical about the whole affair. With reservation, she decided to give her overthinking head a rest and get along with their shady plan.

She quickly thumbed another message:

Crowe Altius 3:28 AM fine whatever

Crowe Altius 3:28 AM count me in

Crowe Altius 3:28 AM anything i need to do nyx?

She chewed on her lip, praying to the gods that she won’t be assigned with something out of her comfort zone, so she added:

Crowe Altius 3:28 AM and by anything, i mean anything except talking to the other commanding officers and anyone from the lucian council pls

Crowe particularly had a severe dislike talking with her other superiors, specifically Cor, Clarus, and even King Regis himself, after saying something completely inappropriate at a Kingsglaive gala two years prior. After that embarrassment, she sealed everyone outside of her Glaive circle for self-preservation.

The sudden inactivity in the chat group made Crowe want to throw another message for good measure, until Luche broke the momentary radio silence:

Luche Lazarus 3:33 AM more booze

Crowe Altius 3:34 AM right

Nyx Ulric 3:35 AM You’re the best, thanks

Nyx Ulric 3:35 AM Let’s all meet tomorrow at 2pm sharp

Nyx Ulric 3:36 AM I’ll try to stall the captain to give us time for prep

Crowe sank back to her sheets and turned off her phone so she could finally get some decent shut eye without the distraction from the Glaive chat group. She stared at the ceiling, trying to quell the unusual excitement  that bubbled up in her chest, until it was brutally ambushed by a feeling that often creeped up on her whenever she started to enjoy any form of happiness.

On occasions such as these, Crowe wondered how celebrating birthdays would feel like. It was not as if she wanted to keep her birthday from everyone else—she just never knew what her actual birth date was. Having brought up as an orphan, she had figured that birthdays were only afforded to people living with their biological parents. Or people with legitimate paperwork. She had neither the luxury of those things. Sometimes, she would look at herself in the mirror, study her face, and scrutinize her chocolate brown hair, her brown eyes, and the angular structure of her cheekbones. Crowe thought that maybe, this was how her mother would have looked like, or her father...

Crowe groaned in disdain. She didn’t need the pity party at this ungodly time. She pulled the sheets over her head as she promptly derailed the depressing train of thought, pressed her eyes shut, and forced herself to sleep.

Crowe did as she was told and brought additional liquor with her on her way to the Kingsglaive HQ. She was pretty certain that alcoholic drinks were prohibited around the Citadel premises, but no one seemed to have caught her, so she just casually marched on toward the hallway. She rounded into a corner, where she saw Nyx standing by the doorway leading to the briefing room, holding his phone close to his ear.

When he saw Crowe approaching, he tucked his phone in his jacket. Nyx nervously beamed, “Hey there!”

Crowe raised an eyebrow out of suspicion. “What are you doing outside? Where are the others?”

Nyx answered, “Well, actually, they’re on their way but Captain Drautos is already coming in any minute—“

“Weren’t you supposed to be the one to keep him occupied?” Crowe asked, narrowing her eyes at Nyx. She had a bad feeling about this.

Nyx held her by the shoulders. “Yes, but change of plans. Look, can you please help holding off on the Captain for a while—“

Crowe instantly shrugged his hands off. “Nope.”

“Please?”

“Not interested.”

“With a cherry on top?”

“Gods, Nyx—you had one job.”

“Alright, fine,” Nyx ceased making any further effort, raising both his hands in casual surrender.

That was surprisingly easy, Crowe thought. If anything, Nyx was persistent, but this...

She let it slide. Crowe rolled her eyes and sauntered past Nyx. She opened the door and—

“Surprise!”

The confetti exploded from the party poppers in myriad of colors, together with the booming voices of the rest of the Glaives. The entire open space of the briefing room was filled with familiar faces—Libertus, Pelna, and Tredd each had a Li’l Malbuddy balloon in their hands, while Axis, Sonitus, and Luche carried a Li’l Malbuddy plush toy. The walls were decorated with scarlet-colored streamers and rows of gold letter balloons.

It took a while for Crowe to register that the balloons spelled a Happy Birthday Crowe! which totally did not make sense to her at all.

“Wait, what’s going on? I thought—guys, is this a fucking prank?” She bewilderedly trailed off. She was about to lash out until she saw Captain Drautos walking towards her, which even added more confusion to this entire event. “Captain?”

Drautos shook his head and addressed the Glaives. “You fools, I told you she wouldn’t get it if I didn’t give this to her first,” he casually smacked Nyx at the back of the head. They all burst out laughing. “Anyway, it’s because of this—“

The captain handed a brown envelope to Crowe, which she flipped open. Inside was a record, a file with her full name and her… birthdate.

Crowe gasped and croaked out the words in disbelief. “Wait, today’s… my birthday?”

“We found your records with Clarus’s help,” Drautos explained. “I regret ever mentioning it to Nyx as soon as I found out—the word spread like wildfire among your peers. It was a surprise that you didn’t find it out, with Nyx being a loudmouthed idiot. Anyway, the Glaives thought of throwing you a surprise party since you’ve never celebrated your birthday with us before—or uh, I’m sorry, I mean, it’s not that you didn’t want—“

“It’s fine, sir,” Crowe stared at the file she was holding. There it was, written in permanent ink: full details of her birthplace and birthdate. It didn’t disclose any info on her biological parents, but Crowe couldn’t care less. She read and reread, helplessly trying to wrap her head around all of this, until all she could say was: “Thank you. Really, guys, thank you—but wait. That thing in the chat was…”

“That was actually Nyx about to spill the beans with his drunken little mouth,” Pelna admitted, stepping closer with the Li’l Malbuddy balloon hovering above his head. The rest of the Glaives followed, gathering around Crowe. Pelna continued, “I was with him so I had to punch him right in the mouth for being dumb. We had a different chat group specifically for Operation Crowe. We humbly thank the gods that Luche was just smooth enough to save that conversation and we all had to improvise to throw you off the scent.”

“Well, someone had to keep you guys in check so you’re welcome,” Luche smugly added. “And by the way, you gotta thank the crown prince’s advisor for this merch. He tipped us off on where to find these.” Luche, Axis, and Sonitus rewarded Crowe with the Li’l Malbuddy plushies.

“You guys were… all together in this?” Crowe asked, and strangely enough, she was genuinely touched by the idea that everyone joined for this effort. She wanted to squeeze everyone into a hug and beat them all up for giving her feelings.

“Of course—everything for our little sister,” Nyx grinned, slinging an arm around Crowe’s shoulders.

“Don’t make me claw your eyes out,” Crowe said, elbowing him on his side that Nyx winced in pain.

“Whatever. Happy birthday, munchkin,” Nyx hugged Crowe. With the thought finally sinking in, tears of utmost happiness began to threaten her eyes. She wanted to punch herself in the face for wanting to cry.

Crowe looked curiously at Nyx, still controlling herself with her happy tears. “So is this why you guys have been acting weird for the past days?”

“See, I told you guys she’ll notice,” Libertus remarked. “Now, give her the damn cake before she starts crying!”

“I’m not crying! There’s just, I don’t know, a rock in my eye...” Crowe sniffed, and the rest of the crew laughed.

Libertus playfully shoved Nyx away from Crowe and wrapped her into a big bear hug. “Happy birthday, Crowe.”

“Thank you guys so much,” Crowe said with a teary-eyed smile on her face.

Roaring fits of laughter bellowed around the room when Pelna finally brought out a ghastly dick-shaped cake with a candle sitting at its tip.

Tredd announced, “So I know Pelna promised a boob cake, but Luche wanted the D—“

“It was the only cake available, asshat—“ Luche interrupted with a sneer. Everyone was still laughing at the atrocity of the confection in front of them.

“Sorry Luche, the D’s not for you,” Pelna teased. “Give this one a blow, baby girl.”

“Oh my god, I hate all of you!” Crowe laughed and cried. When it came to the business of brewing the finest hilarity and crazy antics, Crowe couldn’t trust anyone else aside from her comrades.

Everyone joined in and sang her an equally cheery and drunken happy birthday. And on occasions like these, Crowe found it difficult to permit herself to relish the happiness. But in the company of the people Crowe now considered as family, she finally did—and there was no place in Eos that she would rather be.

[fyeahnewwarriors]

History of the NW (part 9)

Before we talk about what happened to the Warriors during Evan Skolnik’s run, I better introduce you to the three (or four) heroes who joined the team before Skolnik became the Warrior’s writer.

First of all, there’s Turbo. Turbo is a name shared by two people: Mike Jeffries and Michiko ‘Mickey’ Musashi.

You see, Mike found an old superhero suit that had once been used by the superhero Torpedo. Not aware of this, Mike gave it to his best friend Mickey so that she could use it as a Halloween costume. But they both quickly learned that the suit could make the person wearing it capable of flying at high speed as well as creating powerful wind gusts. The two friends decided to share the suit. Mike was a comic nerd, so he wanted to become a superhero. But Micky was not as interested in superheroics and just liked using the suit for transportation and to get to exotic places in no time. So they took turns in using the suit.

Unfortunately, Mike sucked at using the suit, so when the Warriors asked Turbo to join the Warriors, they were only interested in Micky who could actually use it without endangering others as well as herself. Tough break, Mike:(

Alex Power was the oldest child of Dr. James Power, a physicist who worked for the United States government on a means of producing large quantities of energies cheaply through combining matter and anti-matter. An alien named Aelfyre Whitemane (nicknamed “Whitey”) learned of the doctor’s discovery and intended to stop it. Whitemane knew that a device such as Dr. Power’s would (despite good intentions) trigger a chain reaction that would destroy the Earth.

Because inventions that actually BENEFITS mankind is not allowed in the Marvel Universe:P

Moreover, he knew that Power’s device was sought by alien Z’nrx, nicknamed “Snarks,” who intended to use it to conquer inhabited worlds.

When Snarks captured Dr. Power and his wife Margaret, intending to force him to reveal the secret of his device, Whitemane saved the Powers’s children, Alex, Julie, Jack, and Katie, from being captured, but he himself was fatally wounded in the process. Dying, Whitemane transferred four of his superpowers into each of the four Power children, and asked them to use their new abilities to save their world. Alex received the power to control gravity, and called himself Gee. The kids rescued their parents, and destroyed Dr. Power’s dangerous matter/anti-matter machine, thereby saving the Earth from destruction. The four children have since continued to have adventures as the team Power Pack.

Some time later, Alex was contacted to help save the New Warriors from the Sphinx. For this adventure he was convinced to absorb the powers of his siblings and help the Warriors as Powerpax. After the adventure, he returned his siblings powers and promised not to steal them again. But soon after the Warriors needed his help again, and he broke his promise. This time, however, he realized how dangerous it was for children to be superheroes, and decided not to give his siblings their powers back.

,.. OR he didn’t give them back their powers because he wanted to be in a teenage superteam.

Why not? Older brothers can be jerks!

And then there’s Carlton LaFroyge AKA Hindsight. Carlton is most likely the LEAST liked New Warrior ever.

... And he is my favorite member of the team:)

Carl was Robbie Baldwin’s neighbor who by accident stumbled across a scrapbook identifying Robbie as Speedball. Carl was a huge fan of everything superhero related, so he promised Robbie not to reveal his secret if he was allowed to join the team. Robbie and the Warriors grudgingly agreed, but mostly ignored Hindsight Lad. And when they actually talked to him, they usually just insulted him.

Then again, blackmailing your way into a team is not a good way to make a first impression:)

Despite Carl’s lack of powers as well as the Warriors’ lack of faith in him, Carl proved to be surprisingly useful with his talents for tactics and tech.

Anyway, Skolnik’s run on the New Warriors started at issue 54 where the Warriors traveled to some fictional desert country where there’s war going on, innocent people gets hurt and everything sucks (there’s a lot of those in Marvel), but they are short on team members since Night Thrasher and Rage are out doing there own thing (Thrash had his own solo series where Rage was his sidekick). It ends in a disaster when they face the evil dasterdly basterdly villain team called the Soldiers Of Misfortune.

Yep, ridicules 90′s name. And their leader is the most 90est of all 90′s villains: Protocol.

Seriously, LOOK at this guy:

Wow. I mean, just.. WOW!

I’ve seen some silly 90′s bad guys, but this one takes the cake.

He is big, naked, has spikes and claws, AND he doesn’t have a penis. That’s probably why he is so evil.

Anyway, most of the Warriors ended up getting caught by Protocol. Except for Nova who calls in Hindsight and asks him for his help with locating the Soldiers of Misfortune as well as getting Alex and Turbo to help saving the rest of the team.

Skolnik’s run on the Warriors was not the best stories ever written, but it was still pretty damn good... or as good as it could be with all the ridicules 90′s stuff going on in the Marvel U. He obviously did his homework on the Warriors when he took over the titles and made several references to past stories and even tied up old knots from Fabian Nicieza’s run. AND he made Hindsight relevant to the plot by shoving us that even though Carlton could only help from the sideline, he still did his part for the team. You could call him the Jarvis of the New Warriors.

Anyway, Nova and the reserve Warriors finds the submarine where all the other Warriors are stashed in and saves them... except for Namorita who has been brainwashed and now only serves Protocol.

After a daring escape from the submarine, Nova was kinda pissed at Night Thrasher for not being around when they actually needed him. The other Warriors agreed, and Thrash and Rage were kicked out of the team.

... which is kinda weird when you think about it. After all, the New Warriors are actually Thrash’s team. He pays for everything, including their headquarter, transportation and other resources.

That’s all for now. I’m Waezi2, and thanks for wasting time with me.