#now to just apply that concept irl lol

[bookishjules]

finally managed to drop my queue down below 300. everyone be proud of me

[diamondcitydarlin]

Alright real talk now without sassiness bc the whole anti thing against beetlebabes has me thinking about self-indulgent fantasy as a literary/storytelling device and it's something I've been thinking about with different medias lately, so this is topical ig for my current hyperfixation. Specifically I've been thinking about fantasy disavowal and the role that plays in self-indulgent/self-insert type fantasy stories, whether canon or extrapolated within fanfic. I first really learned about this concept in name from this video from contrapoints, so I have to give her credit for discussing this and explaining to me how it works in a way that blew my mind apart at the time, and I think it's the sort of thing that puts a lot of what goes on in self-indulgent fantasy stories into a different perspective, particularly when we're trying to evaluate said stories under an IRL moral microscope (and is why that approach pretty much never works or applies within this kind of story)

(Semi-long post under the cut where I mention Harry Potter as an example of a literary device- as I say within the writeup, I do not condone or support JKR or her beliefs and this is not an endorsement of her but rather a well-known example I think most people will recognize. Be aware if it's triggering for you. I also mention Twilight lol, incase that's an issue. It takes me a minute to get to Beetlejuice/Beetlebabes but I promise this is all relevant to my point, your honors)

Recently I saw a discussion within a Twilight fan group I'm in (yes I'm a Twilight fan and a rattie iykyk) about how toxic certain characters behavior would be IRL, particularly in the way several of them have a habit of making choices for Bella against her will, gifting her with things she's said she didn't want and insisting she use/wear them, etc etc. As a former Twilight hater (cuz I used to be that too many years ago!!!) I knew where they were coming from in being critical of these characters and calling them toxic, because in any other setting that would absolutely be true. Within fantasy disavowal, however, these 'toxic' behaviors are actually a way for the reader/writer (who is living vicariously through the main character) to have the main character get what they think she should have and want her to have without compromising her character or the integrity of the fantasy. Bella Swan, for example, is meant to be modest, selfless, 'not like other girls' and usually uncomfortable with bringing too much attention to herself (which makes her relatable to those who would live vicariously through her story), but of course many of those reading WANT her to have a big wedding and traditional dress anyway so that's where, for example, Alice's insistence she have those things comes into play. Yes, IRL that would be controlling, obsessive, weird, and a complete disregard of someone's wishes and boundaries but in a self-insert fantasy that tactic serves an important role to the purpose and point of the setting. WELL if you INSIST, Alice, I guess I'll just take your very generous and expensive gifts and deal with it, sigh, oh WELL!!! /s In that sense it's less demeaning and more empowering, if you're viewing it from the pov of someone wanting to immerse themselves in the fantasy.

Another example of where this is kinda used in self-insert fantasy is Harry Potter (and many others like it, and this isn't to condone JKR's terfism, this is just the example I think most people will recognize), wherein the children reading are meant to want to live vicariously through Harry and his friends and their adventures. For those children reading (and I know bc I was one once lol) the idea of being in a dangerous environment that the adults don't really shield them from entirely is very cool, it gives them a sense of independence and self-sufficiency and a sense of 'trust' from the fictional adults in their abilities to take care of themselves. From an adult's perspective now, particularly one with a child of first-year age, it's seemingly horrific how neglectful and reckless the adults in that series are with the wellbeing of the children they're responsible for (like, idk, sending a bunch of 11 year olds into the known death forest for their first detention sentence, at night, while knowing some beast is eating unicorns in said forest). But of course, within the story this constant, casual endangerment of children is never really brought up as an issue or as a reflection of some kind of immortality in the adults responsible for them as it would IRL, because it serves the purpose of self-indulgent fantasy for the children reading. It's not MEANT to be seen as a moral failing or child endangerment AT ALL so much as just the adults characters getting the fuck out of the way so the kids can have fun- unless it's like Umbridge doing it, who is established as an villain and immoral even in that setting from the jump. (And again this isn't a defend JKR post, just an explanation/example of what I'm talking about) IDK if this qualifies as fantasy disavowal perse, but it's a similar phenomenon of how behaviors -particularly those of supporting characters- can seem immoral/toxic under a real world lens but within the story serves a purpose to the reader living through the fantasy.

The way this relates to Beetlebabes for me is mostly fanon focused, but I think there are elements of disavowal in the canon as well. A lot of us who ship beetlebabes feel a kinship to Lydia in some way or another, especially those of us who watched the first film and cartoon as we ourselves were coming of age (and also probably weirdo goth kids too at the same time, I definitely was lol) and while it obviously isn't a fantasy for everyone, for a lot of us the idea of a 600-year old demon choosing and becoming obsessed with our weirdo asses BECAUSE of our weirdness is really cool actually lmao. To others, Beej pursuing Lydia so ardently against her outspoken disavowal can only be seen as intentionally toxic because they're not part of the fantasy, nor do they want to be, so seeing the merits (and empowerment) of his pursuit within this setting is beyond them. And of course, there's something to be said for the inherent nature of gothic romance as a setting, as well as the fact that movieverse Beetlejuice isn't really meant to be the pinnacle of moral direction in real life, it's meant to be a creepy, kooky dark comedy that pushes the boundaries of societal norms (not unlike what we do in the shadows). As others have said, this also isn't unlike the film Labyrinth much at all, though I RARELY see anyone coming after the Jareth/Sarah ship despite Sarah being a child in the film and Jareth being, yknow, also an ancient spirit of some kind. Perhaps because most people better understand how Labyrinth functions as a self-insert fantasy, that Jareth's obsession with Sarah is meant to be an empowering thing within that context for the young people like Sarah watching it, not an endorsement of IRL predatory behavior (ofc, Jareth being mostly a creation of Sarah's might aid with the sense of her power over the situation).

Honestly, I think it's also true for a lot of people against Beetlebabes that they identify with Lydia too, but in a way that doesn't include wanting a 600-year old demon to be obsessed with them (you do you boo, more of him to go around ig lmaooo), but instead of seeing and accepting the merits of Beej's obsession in this other kind of fantasy, they instead choose to apply real-world morals onto not only the story but the people who enjoy this story as well as their personal discomfort demands. For as much as they want to accuse others of 'not having media literacy' for shipping it, they sure jump right over the point of this literary/storytelling device. And to that end, I can't wholly blame them, because it was only within the last few years that I really realized and accepted how this works too- but I'm doing my best to explain it now, for whomever is interested.

I guess what I'm ultimately trying to say is that self-insert/self-indulgent type fantasy stories are, by design, not meant to be viewed through a real-world moral lens. The entire point of them is to transport a reader/viewer into a world where real-life doesn't apply, where someone like them is loved and obsessed over for the things that they are often disparaged for IRL and within a context where they (and the main character) still hold the reigns of control, as Lydia does over Beetlejuice time and time again (despite being a powerful 600 year old demon Beej sure lets his wife kick him around a lot, doesn't he???). It's not meant to be an endorsement or romanticization or even a depiction of IRL immorality either, as that would ruin the effect of the fantasy.

So yeah, I feel like trying to evaluate most of these stories in a real-world moral context is a fundamental misunderstanding of how this kind of storytelling works- that's not to say one can't evaluate them that way if they want, and sometimes (like other things used within the HP series) it's due, but I think it definitely becomes an issue when this 'moral evaluation' turns into one of the people who enjoy the fantasy too. The fictional flights of fancy that people like to immerse themselves into are just that; fantasy. And what's more, different people like living vicariously through different kinds of fantasies, different people are going to find different things empowering in said stories and just because one thing feels empowering for one person but demeaning to another should not mean the former person is immoral and gross in real life or would even want these things to happen in real way.

I keep trying to wrap this post up and failing, but that's basically it. I'm posting this because I know others will probably have way more intellectual insight and feedback to add about this kind of storytelling and I just think it's really fascinating to talk about. What do yall think?

[annbourbon]

Flowers inside the Cheritzverse

For the sake of this I'm gonna derail the post a bit because otherwise this is not gonna work lol we need to talk about fairies first~ fairies and flowers. Yes, the two of them are closely linked and I do not dare to make a different post for it. If we are to talk about the Wizard of Dandelion and The Cheritzverse, we need to talk about the fairy concept in general. I already talked about the magic contracts and karmic laws which in theory are not linked together irl but write do use it together, because it's kinda cool (?) but whatever~ so let's begin with the fae world. I'm not gonna delve a lot into it, just gonna touch the basics.

So 101 here~

They are not called fairies but fae. They are divided by Seelie and Unseelie Courts. And please, do not let your human thoughts think that ones are "good" and the others are "bad" or something like that. Actually, representations like that are more harmful than anything. They're not supposed to be similar or have affinity to human standards. So whatever you consider beautiful, ugly or inappropriate, it's different for them. I believe the same concept it's applied to good and bad for them. And that they have particular affinity to change if they see you want to "like them". It's fun to consider that the books of YA can't be more inaccurate sometimes *sighs* I won't try to fight those cause it's difficult to change an idea once established but, At least that's what I have gathered from the fairytales~~~~~

* Some devas are associated with fairies.

* Random fact that doesn't come on the fairy bible but~ did you know the earth has chakras too? And when connecting chakras with some powerful places (where several ley lines touch) it can create weird events.

* Water is a conductor. Always. And not only electricity but also ley lines can drift because of that.

* Seriously read about ley lines because these can be used as a method of transportation. If you want to read how would that work, you should read Kim Harrison's series, The Hollows. Which could tie my theory on how witches and fae folk and demons too btw~ can work all along the Cheritzverse. This is not exclusive on her works but it's where I have seen the idea explained in a better way. Which makes me think of several myths and stuff that has been going around for ages (big fan of supernatural and so weird series here so lol i've been studying mythology a lot.)

* Fae folk are diverse. So even if someone, yes even me, says one thing, another can say whatever and we're all free to enjoy them as we please.

So how does this ties to the Cheritzverse will you ask? Well~ that's why flowers and trees have a long and ancient culture around and even their own meanings.

Although there are versions in Greece where the Hesperides Garden contains several "sacred trees" (among those apparently it's the pomegranate. Which ties to Jaehee~ and others like The Monkey King legend in China where you can see the Garden of Immortal Peaches. it's all about paying attention to the detail to see the patterns.)

BTW I found the Fairy Bible so useful to help me in my defense and to build up how the Cheritzverse would work. Really, I wanted to create more on this but I had to cut it cause the post is so long already. For now let's delve into the language of flowers~

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From now on~ I grabbed the links, I copied/pasted and added everything I know so here till the end I'm gonna be quoting A Guide for the Flower Language and adding a lot of insights from A victorian flower dictionary, Le Langage des fleurs by de Latour (1819) and Floriography, among other notes I have. Check bibliography at the end of the post for more notes.

To make it clearer, I'm gonna quote it in bold. I'm also gonna go a bit more deeper than what the Mint Eye package and Cheritz said because I have some books and knowledge on mythology, and some knowledge (although not extensive or this post it's gonna become giantic) I have on medicine to add onto this, so be warned; this is gonna be a long post, but here we go~

Disclaimer: I'm not a medical professional. My family however has been dedicated to this for ages so I do have some knowledge on this, HOWEVER please do not take my word for this and attempt to self medicate. Thank you.

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For people who need to know only the flowers that are displayed here, in case they find another different~~

♡ Anemone ♡ Almond

♡ Bluebell ♡ Baby breath

♡ Bracken*

♡ Clivias ♡ Cactus

♡ Chrysantemum ♡ Clover

♡ Daisy ♡ Dandelion

♡ Daffodil ♡ Delphinium

♡ Daylily

♡ Eustoma/Lisianthus ♡ Forsythia

♡ Fritillaria Thunbergii ♡ Forget-me-not

♡ Geranium ♡ Gooseberry*

♡ Hyacinth ♡ Hydrangea

♡ Hypoxis Aurea ♡ Lily of the Valley

♡ Lily ♡ Lilac

♡ Mistletoe ♡ Myrtle

♡ Michaelmas Daisy ♡ Narcissus

♡ Rhondanthe (Paper Daisy)

♡ Rose ♡ Orchid

♡ Peony ♡ Pineapple

♡ Pomegranate ♡ Palm Tree* ♡ Serbian Bellflower* ♡ Sansevieria*

♡ Plumeria*

♡ Primrose (Cowslip) ♡ Tulip

♡ Weigela ♡ Willow

** Honorable mentions: Jonquil and Adonis.

* Working on this because they were late additions.

***Plumeria and bracken are mentioned by Henri during The Ssum. Henri says Plumeria means "I'm lucky to have meet you" but i will try to expand more onto it later on. I have zero knowledge on bracken.

**** Sansevieria is mentioned by Jihae in Dandelion. Thank you so much!! @cherrychipheart 😭😘 i'll be looking into it later and adding it here soon.

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A

Anemone - Forsaken, abandonation(?) Mentioned by Ray during a call. Also: Truth. Transitory. Endangered Love. Anticipation.

* Adonis is another flower related to this myth. The flower means sad memories.

Because the anemone's blossoms were thought to open on windy days and they're also short-lived, they have become a symbol of a transitory love that moves like a breath of breath wind. The original bloodred wildflowers were associated with Aphrodite upon the passing of Adonis from the earthly scene.

Then another paragraph comes like this:

These beautiful, fragile flowers come from the near East and the Mediterranean, and were first brought to Britain at the end of the 16th century [....] Their name comes from the Greek anemos, meaning 'the wind', because their delicate flowers appear to open in a gentle breeze, but are so short-lived, like a breath of wind.

Then it proceeds to describe the how the goddess was besotted with Adonis and he was fatally wounded by a wild boar and died in her arms.

She sprinkled nectar on his blood and fron that comes the anemone. Love is fleeting and doesn't last. That is what the flower represents. There's a representation in The Awakening Conscience from William Holman Hunt's 1853, where a small vase of anemones appears. Hinting that the affair will not last. Although it's not the only thing that hints that. The room is full of objects that talk of her predicament.

Although today they have more resilience, they still have the meaning of fading youth behind.

Almond blossom - Hope. (see birthday flowers down below for reference.)

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B

Baby breath - Pureness. Freedom. Innocence. Undying Love. (Usually seen and mentioned during Dandelion & Mystic Messenger) Also: Love Everlasting.

Bluebell - Humility. Also: Grief. Either the loss of a loved one or the end of an affair. Constancy. This flower is also known campanula, which depending on the location can be or not the same flower and mean Gratitude.Thankfulness.

*there's another 'bell' called harebell. This is why I prefer their scientific names. No way you can confuse them. At least ut hasn't happened to me just yet. anyways~ bellflower is gratitude, or an indiscretion, and bluebell (ironically i think they're not blue lol) mean grief. Do with this what you want lol

Bouquet of withered flowers - rejected love mentioned by Unknown in Another Story Also: Constancy. Dead leaves means sadness.

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C

Cactus - endurance (V's favorite) Also: Warmth

Clivias - Happiness, passion, kindness (Saeyoung Choi)

Also, fortitude, unyielding, modest and gentle. In many culture, clivia flowers are seen as a luck symbol for happiness, wealth and abundance, which is also one of the reasons why clivia plant is widely loved.

Chrysantemum - you're a wonderful friend, cheerfulness and rest. Condolences.

Used in funerals and placed on graves. This ritual may derive from the practice of decorating graves on All Souls’s Day, a christian holiday occurring in early November, when many blooms are difficult to find.

Red: I love. Love at first sight. Yellow: slighted love. White: Truth

The Japanese, who have made it the emblem of their emperor consider the orderly unfolding of its petals to ve symbolic of perfection. [...]

The essence of the flower is unravelled just as the truth is so often revealed: at first hidden, then brought into the light.

The flower didn't arrive Britain until 18th century. And in the 1800s the French had a craze for these flowers and a bestselling novel of the time was Madame Chrysanthème by Pierre Loti, who drew upon a lifetime of travel for the plots of his exotic romances.

Pair with: Willow for a friend grief, gladiolus for a broken heart.

Clover - Life to come. Be mine. Think of me (if it's white)

Credits to: @cheritzheadcanonz

Where? Jiyeon gives it to us in Dandelion.

Symbolizes: luck (green). Fortune. Yellow: hope and divinity, success, romance, red: love, white: purity. Purple: royalty. pink: admiration.

Also: marriage, faithfulness and protection.

A four leaf clover is considered as a sign of extraordinary luck. In irish culture, the shamrock variant is tied to St. Patrick Day and the Holy Trinity. The clover is also a way to enhance the connection to nature.

The ancient Druids in Ireland believed that carryng a clover allowed one to detect evil spirits approaching, while carrying one in Middle Ages led people to believe they could see fairies.

Clover" has roots in Old Germanic, evolving from "Klaibron" to "clæfre" in Old English, and eventually to "clover" by the 18th century.

Trefoil" derives from Latin, with "tri" and "folium" meaning three and plant, respectively, leading to "Trifolium." It was shortened to "tri-foil" in Middle Ages Anglo-Norman French and settled as "trefoil" in Middle English.~ HelloFearless

If paired with apple blossom and dandelion, shows hope that the recipient’s wishes will come true.

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D

Daisy - not really appearing but the closest flower to V's Rhondante aka Paper Daisy.

However and just for the sake of it let's do daisies. White: innocence. A love that conquers all. Wild: I will think of it. Oxeye: Disappointment. Patience. Also: Perseverance. Childhood

Back in the day, and sometimes today too~ people used to play adivination with daisies, by picking petals one by one ~ 'he loves me, he loves me not' was and is still known. Tied to Freya in Norse mythology. Goddess of fertility, motherhood and childbirth. In Celtic tradition, daisies grew for the spirits of children who died in birth.

Paired with baby’s breath as a gift for a newborn baby.

Paired with peony and violet for an expression of childhood bliss.

Dandelion - Smiling on all. Or as Cheritz would say~ Wishes brought to you. Divination and fortune telling.

The myth behind the «Dandelion»

Okay~ so I wanted to recollect everything I could before starting on the legend:

♡ Symbol of the Sun

♡ "The Teeth of the Lion"

♡ Enjoyed by Ancient Geeks, egyptians and Romans. Even used by traditional chinese medicine for overa thousand years.

♡ One of the most nutritional vegetables you'll ever find btw!

♡ Masters of survival

♡ The roots clone when divided

♡ It can cure the liver

♡ It's diuretic

This is one of my favorite flowers, now, the mystery is that no one really knows where the myth of wishing upon dandelions comes from, sone say it can be traced back to the Celts and other to the French. Some myths say that if you blow all the seeds off a dandelion with a single breath your wish will come true but if seeds remain, then it may depend~

Others think the dandelion tells the time or the weather. From food to medicine to dye, to carry dreams and wishes, every part of the dandelion has found some utility.

Daffodil - admiration. new beginnings. regard (Rika's favorite)

The lovely golden daffodil is a welcome, heart-lifting sight, as it marks the end of winter and the beginning of a new season. It comes into full flower around Easter time, when thoughts turn towards the renewal of life and the Resurrection. It is also known as the Lent lily or the Easter lily.

* Kind reminder that Rika is Catholic and also, this is another way of hinting she's not dead.

A more sombre note might prevail in rural areas, where it was said to be unlucky to bring the flowers into the house of anyone who kept poultry because this would prevent the eggs from hatching. (...)

(...) In some places, Wales in particular, the daffodil was used in traditional practice of "flowering the graves" (...)

It is said that the connection with mournful and unlucky matters comes from the old story that the name daffodil is said to derivr from the medieval Latin affodilus abs asphodelos in Greek ~ The asphodel, the plant that grew in the meadows of the underworld.

The Greek legend of Narcissus tells of a handsome and proud hunter who upon seeing his reflection in the waters of a spring, falls in love with himself and drowns. Daffodils were born to mark his grave.

If you pair a camellia with a daffodil, it means unrequited love.

Paired with clove, for hope and change.

Paired with sweet pea to indicate giving up on an ill-suited romance.

Delphiniums - big hearted person, dignity and grace (V) Also: Happiness. Levity.

Daylily - romantic love, forget painful events from the past. It's called the flower that helps to forget sorrows. Green: harmony, growth, rebirth. (Yoosung) White: fleeting beauty. Blue: Coquetry.

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E

Eustoma - mentioned with the latin name Lisianthus when you get to ask Ray for flower meanings. Everlasting Love.

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F

Fritillaria - Persecution.

Forget Me Not - True love, love at first sight, , memories, don't forget me. Also: I will never forget you. Remembrance.

The name of this pretty and delicate flower, which enamels riverbanks and garden borders with its miniature sky-blue petals, speaks of human longing for loyalty and lastingness. Its name comes from German folk tale about a couple who, on the eve of their marriage, take a walk by the banks of the Danube. The young bride admires a cluster on the flowers, and her fiancé goes forward to pick them for her, but falls into the river. Before he is carried away by the turbulent waters, he throws the flowers at the feet of his betrothed, crying, 'Vergiss mein nicht!'

Forsythia - Anticipation, new beginnings. Its early bloom, often before many other flowers have awakened from winter slumber, signifies hope and the promise of change. This makes it a perfect emblem of the optimism and renewal that come with spring.

In traditional Chinese culture, it is revered for its resilience and bright, uplifting appearance. In Western cultures, it is often planted in memory gardens to symbolize the continuity of life and nature’s enduring cycles. Forsythia was mentioned by Rika when meeting Yoosung, she said Yoosung looks like a bouquet of these flowers.

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G

Geranium - I'm happy because of you. Also: (oak leaf): friendship. Pink: preference. Scarlet: Comfort. Consolation and melancholy. White: gracefulness.

When its flowers drop, the exposed fruit is revealed to be pointed in shape, like a crane’s bill. The Greeks noticed this resemblance to the bird and called the flower geranion, from geranos, meaning “crane”.

Scarlet geranium is a very popular bedding plant that was originally sent to Europe from South Africa back in 1609. The sailors for the Dutch East India Company would pick them cause they would last through the voyage without perishing.

Gooseberry -

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H

Hyacinth - Games and sports. Rashness. Blue: Constancy. Usually seen in MC room in Magenta. Purple: forgiveness. sorrow. White: beauty, unobtrusive loveliness. Yellow: jealousy

The hyacinth takes its name and meaning from the Greek mythology. Hyacinthus, a beautiful young man, beloved by Apollo, died during a game of discus throwing, Apollo’s discus was knocked from its course by a jealous Zephyrus, striking Hyacinthus and thus, killing him. It’s said the flowers were grown from the blood that fell from his head wound as Apollo begged his forgiveness.

Paired with olive for peace and forgiveness.

Paired with pansies to indicate you betrayal haunts you.

Hydrangea - Truth, thank you for understanding, frigidity, heartlessness, (here's my own interpretation of this flower), seen in Ray's garden.

Also: Calm, dispassion.

Hypoxis Aurea - Symbolizes health. Very appropriate for a doctor (Henri)

Belongs to the Orchid-Lily Family. From Greek, words “hypo”, meaning “below” and “oxy”, which means “sharp” or “pointed”, referring to the ovary which is pointed at the base. Also called Golden Star Grass. Native from Indo-China, Malaysia. Asia.

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L

Lily - feminity, innocence and purity. Majesty. (Jaehee) Purity of heart. Fertility. White: Purity and rebirth. Sweetness. Usually for both funerals and weddings. (Yoosung's Christmas) Pink: Love, feminity and admiration. Red: Passion. Orange: Confidence and energy. Yellow: Friendship, thankfulness and joy Purple: Royalty, elegance spirituality.

Also: False and gay (outdated: gay meaning happy)

The lily name meaning comes from the Old English lilie, from Latin lilium and from Greek leirion. Originally, we took lily from the Hebrew word “Shoshannah” (שׁוֹשַׁנָּה), which was borrowed from the Egyptians. This name became popular in almost every culture across the world. It's Italy's national flower.

Please take note that daylilies are not considered true lilies. But then again there are at least 100 species of lilies so~

**Some parts of lilies and only some variants of lilies have been used in traditional medici e and culinary dishes to treat digestive issues and skin conditions. But most of them are not, and it can be dangerous if you don't know~ so please avoid intake if you're in doubt.

Lily of the Valley - Return of Happiness. Healing heartbreak. Unconscious sweetness.

This is one of my big peeves, you'll see, daffodils and lillies unlike dandelions, are actually poisonous. Or at least, this one, it's poisonous. And here they are in Cheritz saying to us that we need to believe in MC? Do we? Is the lily of the valley true happiness, or shadows of something else lurk around?

Also called sometimes Lady’s tears. There’s a short story where it is said that the Queen of the fairies asked a group of gnomes for a drink, so they had to gather nectar from blossoms in little porcelain cups. But it was late in tha day and the gnomes were worn out, so they tried, but fell asleep. Next morningm the gnomes awoke to find fast-growing grasses had lifted the little cups out of their reach, luckily the Queen saw their plight and cast a spell so that each cup became a white flower bell and any blossom they reached for became the correct cup to choose.

Lilac - For more of my rant here~ but the meaning of this flower it's first emotions of love. Love at first sight.

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M

Mistletoe - I surmount difficulties.

On a winter’s day, when the sun is long and the shadows long, the mistletoe is revealed in all its unearthly beauty, hoisted high in the leafless trees. It appears to have no roots, no means by which it can obtain nutrients and water, and yet remains fres and green when everything around is lifeless. Surely it cannot live? And yet, against all odds, the mistletoe flourishes. Hope. (appears during Christmas DLC ofc, 😉) there's a little story on my book of fairies that talks about the fairy of the mistletoe.

Myrtle - Love. Frequently associated with Venus, the myrtle bush offered her protection while she bathed. Since ancient times it has symbolized the chief of passions, love and according to classical tradition, it has the ability to both inspire and retain that emotion.

Michaelmas Daisy - A farewell, a departure.

Michaelmas Daisies are also frequently known by their Botanical Latin name of Aster. The name ‘aster’ is from the Greek for star, and refers to the shape of the flower heads.

As Aster: Wisdom, faith, valor. Greek name for star. According to the legend, the goddess Astraea cried because there weren't enough stars in the sky. Her tears fell to earth and turned into star-shaped flowers now called Asters.

Fun fact? It's one of the Flowers of Bach. Used to relieve fever, stomach ache and apparently has some specific vibration. Absorbs the full expression of the sun's communion with the earth at an exalted vantage point of altitude.

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N

Narcissus - Self love. Narcissism. Egotism. Overconfidence. So, people tend (me included) to confuse jonquils, daffodils and narcissus. While I already talked about this, I'll talk about it again~ here you go:

BTW~ if we talk about jonquils as korean birthday flower, it would mean answer to love. While narcissisus would mean mystery lol (see birthday flowers)

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R

Rose - The meaning it's quite simple. Love. Red: Passionate love. White: happy love. A heart unacquainted with love. Worthiness. My heart is free. Loyalty, pure love, commitment (Zen/Hyun Ryu) Pink: Grace. Modesty. Infatuation, beauty. Mildness, persuasion. (Zen's Christmas.) Orange: fascination. Yellow: jealousy, infidelity. Pale peach: Modesty. Burgundy: Unconscious beauty. Purple: Enchantment.

So for example if you gift someone a yellow rose, it's supposed to be jealous love. However the meaning might change if you put other flowers around.

In the Greek myth, Chloris, the goddess of flowers is said to have turned a beautiful, dead nymph into a rose, she invited Apollo to warm the bloom, Aphodite to lend it her beauty, Dionysus to add sweet nectar and the 3 Graces to supply charm, joy and magnificence. Chloris called her the Queen of flowers.

On a high note: I never liked roses because I thought of them to be too common. However, way before they were produced in mass, roses were so rare and difficult to find, so people would hold onto the petals even as they fell and dried. So it's interesting to know that, roses were once a symbol of fragility and rare.

Rhondanthe - Romance. Rose flower. According to Wikipedia, is supposed to be the name of a Corinthians Queen in Greek mythology who attracted a great name of suitors due to her beauty. Such beauty was a blessing and a burden so she sought protection in a friend and a goddess (different mythology here~ romans) Diana. The flower comes in pink and white. But there are little to no information that I could find for now~

BTW it seems this is another flower heavily associated with Adonis and Aphrodite myth. Also called paper daisy.

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O

Orchid - Refined Beauty. Love, beauty, refinement, beautiful lady, chinese symbol for many children.

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P

Peony - Happy life, happy marriage. Bravery. Bashfulness.

Also: Anger. Shame and ostentation.

The chinese call the peony "sho yu" meaning most beautiful. The ancient Chinese believed peonies were created by the goddess of the moon to reflect her beams at night. It was also viewed as a major healing plant. And in ancient Greece it was said that nymphs could turn themselves into peonies to avoid being seen by humans.

Paired with hyacinth and violet to apologize and ask for forgiveness.

Pair with: Foxglove as a gift for a secret admirer.

Pineapple - Cheerful welcome and warm reception. Symbol of hospitality. Good luck. I'm having a blast looking at Harry's flower cause he is definitely~ lolol

Apparently back in the day, it was really hard for European farmers to cultivate pineapples and it took them 200 years to make it work. So it became a symbol of royalty and privilege. You can read the whole story on the links, I'm not posting it because the post is getting so long~ but it's quite fascinating.

Primrose - The meaning is unconscious beauty. Winning grace. Also named as cowslip. (It seems Ray mentioned it's his favorite flower in a call.)

Pomegranate blossom - Elegance. Sanctity. Abundance. life, fertility. Eternal life. Good luck. Strength. Does anyone here remembers the myth of Persephone? I think these days it's one of our internet favorite couples lol so I won't really delve into it but~

I do want to point out the similarities between the games in the Cheritzverse and the myth. This however will be delved in another post and dropped into my References of pop culture~ masterlist I'm creating on the Cheritzverse.

Palm Tree -

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S

Serbian Bellflower - Everlasting love, gratitude, constancy. (Jumin Han)

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T

Tulip - Declaration of love. Arrogance. Perfect lover. Smile of sunshine. Joy in love and life. Yellow: Friendship, beautiful eyes (Jaehee's Christmas. Found other tulips on Harry's route but they were orange.)

A Turkish legend tells us of two lovers who longed to be together, Ferhad and Shirin, but their love is forbidden. So when Ferhad hears rumors that Shirin has taken her own life, he kills himself in order to be with her for eternity. Tulips~ symbols of his devotion, spring up where his blood is spilled.

Tulips are iconic flowers from the Netherlands, although they originally came from Persia. It became really expensive after being introduced from Turkey.

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W

Weigelas - faithfulness, grace and charm (Saeran Choi) Also: Riches. Maiden beauty.

Willow - (branches) bravery. Mourning, melancholy. Brought to Britain in the 18th century, originally from eastern Asia, usually lives by water, a trabquil slow-running river its favoured spot. Its branches are pendulous and low, and when the wind catches its leaves~ seems to be whispering sad and sorrowful things. The willow usually represents grief and sadness at the death of the lovers, remaining the same, trembling in the wind, watching the tragedy unfold. (See birthday flowers down below)

⋆ﾟ☽ *₊⋆ Birthday Flowers ⋆ ₊ﾟ☽ *⋆

There's another thing, in Korea your b-day has a flower that corresponds to the day you were born and not just to the month.

In this case:

⋆ ₊ ﾟ ☽ * ₊ ⋆For Mystic Messenger⋆ ₊ ﾟ ☽ * ₊ ⋆

♡ Zen [Apr 1st] ~ Almond (Faithful Love) Also: hope

♡ Yoosung [March 12] ~ Weeping Willow (The Sadness of Love) Also: Mourning. Bravery.

♡ Saeyoung & Saeran [June 11] ~ Fritillaria Thunbergii (Charm) Also: Persecution

♡ V [Sept 9] ~ Michaelmas Daisy (Memories)

Rika [Nov 3] ~ Bryony (Rejection) Also: Be my support

♡ Jumin [Oct 5] ~ Palm Tree (Victory)

♡ Jaehee [Dec 28] ~ Pomegranate (Mature Beauty)

⋆ ₊ ﾟ ☽ * ₊ ⋆For The Ssum⋆ ₊ ﾟ ☽ * ₊ ⋆

♡ June [Feb 9] ~ Myrtle (Whisper of Love)

♡ Harry [Dec 20] ~ Pineapple (Absolute perfection)

♡ Teo [July 7] ~ Gooseberry (Expectations)

♡ Henri [Aug 26] ~ Hypoxis Aurea (Looking for the light)

*LMAO they definitely knew of this which means I'm on the right track! Because Harry has a pineapple tattoo e.e which also means, V is the Wizard. I mean~ at least is heavily implied since he is the one who keeps all the memories. I remember what the V told to Jumin one night during Another Story common route~ and he really went for misdirection I'll misquote but it's about the same: "Jumin is my memories/ He remembers better than me~"

Sure~ whatever you say V 🙄

**In case you're curious about your own flower go to the links~

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Final Notes:

It took me at least three weeks and I had some help to finish this post and it's not even fully finished 😭 while I don't like to post things like this, sometimes people around me have much more knowledge and can help me better. At this point it's kind of traumatic to publish it like this but please be aware I'm burned. I will keep updating. I just need to take a huge week or something because I also spent 3 days straight without sleeping because of stress so I'm posting this one and I'll edit it later on to add the stuff I didn't add yet like the mistletoe fairy and more on fairies.

I have yet to add some more from Dandelion, Nameless and The Ssum. If anyone wants to collaborate, do tag or rt with the flowers and dates of the guys of the Cheritzverse for me so I can update it with the new info. I'm already working on Harry's but it's taking me forever so any help it's welcomed and appreciated. You'll be added and credited ofc.

Tagging: @smol-grey-tea and @cherrychipheart who have been waiting for me all this time~ thank you so much♡

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Links:

♡ Part of the credit here goes to:

Megami605Sama on X

♡ Ray's Guide of the Flower Language on Amino

♡ Reddit - The flowers and their meanings from the latest CG

♡ Your Birthday Flower

♡ Pineapple hospitality

♡ Pineapple story

♡ More on Clover

♡ Hypoxis Aurea

* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊* ੈ✩‧₊˚*

Bibliography: *i'm updating this

♡ Teresa Moorey - The Fairy Bible (2008) [Pages: 15, 24, 25, 38, 46, 47, 56 - 60, 78 - 87, 90, 91.... ]

♡ A Guide for the Flower Language

♡ A victorian flower dictionary by Mandy Kirby (found it on archive.org)

♡ Le Langage des fleurs by de Latour (1819)

♡ Floriography by Jessica Roux (2020)

[psi-hate]

diana, this might sound like a weird question, but how do you draw boobs/gock/vaginas and anatomy in general? i wanna improve my art and you seem to have a lot of experience with it

-alice in anon because im embarrassed lol

hmm good question! im gonna be honest i don't really use references most the time, and i recommend you absolutely use references very often when drawing something you're not the most confident in.

for anatomy, it sorta comes down to me focusing on how other artists draw specific parts of anatomy and getting a good feel of how they generally look enough to know what looks wrong in my own attempt so i can continue adjusting it. it's a shitty bruteforce method but for me i sorta just osmosis it from exposure. in general i have a decently trained eye in 3d space on account of my 3D modeling experience, so coming up with shapes at particular angles is a little less of a headache i imagine some others would deal with at my skill level. i still struggle with posing which is something i really gotta practice more. i know it'd be faster if i used references for practice but my art process is a bit too casual out of stubborness... but i will do what i can to improve my workflow at some point!

regarding stuff like sexual anatomy or what have you, i actually pull up a few different artist's works, specifically those who draw shapes i find most appealing, and apply their concepts to my own attempt. it's sorta hit or miss atm, i'm still very new to drawing sexual anatomy. at the very least, i try and draw bodies as they are. what i mean is, a chubbier body is going to have more pockets of fat pulling some parts down, and comparing with my own body and those whom i've been with, i just try and capture the practical "flaws" and do my best not to polish them out of the equation. sunken eyes, messy hair, folds of skin, muscle definition, wrinkles, hair, etc it's all very pretty and more than anything i want to appreciate those bodies.

use references, look at your own body and try and plan out angles and poses before you get too deep into the drawing! my biggest flaw at the moment is lack of forethought going into a piece which can make a lot of my art much more stiff because an idea i wanted occurs halfway through the drawing and retroactively adjusting things is just not gonna work and it'll look stilted. come up with your idea and sketch a very simple example so you know what you're aiming for the entire time instead of me who habitually draws heads and facial features long before deciding how i want the rest of the body, usually locking me into the same perspective and angle as always lol. i have been fixing this most of the time now and i hope that is more apparent in some of my recent works.

sorta just rambling, but yeah! the most simple way for me to tl;dr this is that i recommend using irl examples for references for poses or how particular pieces of the body are structured in 3D space, and looking at other's art for ideas or inspiration, reverse engineer their process and practice it until you feel satisfied it makes sense in the context of your drawing. take special attention of smaller details of the body and don't be afraid of making something look "unappealing" if you want to portray a specific feature. you might not draw something the way that looks good to you, but the most important thing is learning what it is that does look good in your opinion, and reviewing what you could do to help draw more like that.

i'm really sorry if this is far too convoluted and not great advice, i'm the literal embodiment of "fake it till you make it" and any skill i've learned is simply because i am stubborn and bruteforcing it till i accomplished whatever it is that i wanted. for someone who is more interested in learning and improving the "right way", i tried to offer some more rational strategies to what i do in hopes that it makes sense in helping better lol. hope this helps!

[perpetualxfire]

About the Muse

Legal Name: Katelyn May Church Nicknames: Carolina, Kate, Katie May Date of Birth: May 16th, 2522 Gender: Cis Female Place of Birth: You know I'm still not sure? Usually Raleigh, North Carolina (or the 'modern' equivalent of the region in this universe) Currently Living: Iris, a livable moon orbiting the planet Chorus

Spoken Languages

English

French (At a very moderate skill level, not fluent, but can hold a conversation and communicate key concepts)

ASL (or in-universe equivalent; a little rusty, but decently fluent in, like, a hearing person kinda way; my HOH people who sign know what I mean lol;; also, for the record, this is a self roast- I'm trying guys)

Education

Dual Degree; BS in Applied Physics and BFA in Dance (Yes, this was a colossal pain in the ass)

ROTC Training during college

Did NOT go to Officer Training School; Halo lore in this particular area seems to make it difficult to compare modern infrastructure for early military careers with in-universe infrastructure, so, lacking more thorough explanation in this subject, elected to follow research into an education/career path that is feasible now, today, IRL, instead of mentioned/implied/listed alterations in universe.

Physical Characteristics

Hair Color: Red; Somewhere between Deep Red and Auburn. Eye Color: Vivid Green Miscellaneous: 'Beauty Mark' along jaw line near right corner of lip. Height: Safest Bet: 5'10 Frustratingly Verse and Writing Partner Dependent. My Default: 6'3" Weight: See above- Depends on Height. Well muscled, but lean.

Relationships

All Relationships Listed as of Last Known Point in the Timeline

Epsilon ("Brother", Partner in Crime, Confidant)

Agent Washington (Similar to Epsilon; Brother-like relationship)

Reds and Blues (Friends..? Hard to put to words)

Doctor Emily Gray (Notably Respected - not an easy status to earn. Never spell her name the same way twice in a row because you gotta keep 'em guessing.)

General Vanessa Kimball (Well Respected; in my mind, there's a HARD unrequited crush with an ace woman, but, you know, that's just shipping)

Director Leonard Church (Deceased; Male Parental Unit; It's Complicated)

Allison "Finch" (Deceased; Last name head canon (changing your name SUCKS ASS); Female Parental Unit; Died in 2528; Only Listed due to relevancy to Tex)

Agent Texas (Deceased; 'It's Complicated' aka I never actually watched the 'Final Season' because I haven't had the emotional energy and I know it's relevant thanks to the synopses I've been working off of but not specifically how because I also want to have SOMETHING to watch when I finally get to it)

Agent New York (Deceased; 'The One That Got Away'; Ma'am you barely even KNEW him-)

Other Freelancer Agents (Deceased; Once believed to be good friends and comrades; would rather let those memories stay that way, but regularly has to reconcile these memories with present day reality)

Orientation: I write her Bi as fuck Relationship Status: Single; Emotionally Unavailable to Men, Incapable of Expressing Her Feelings to Women

tagged by: @thestupidmeanone tagging: tbh just do it, dude. I spent like three hours on this double checking my information and reminding myself how much I hate inconsistency lol but it's good to remind yourself of the baseline stuff about your muse from time to time

[saltyyetbland]

I have just posted my fic that I wrote for the Petals of a Rose fanzine on AO3. You can find it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57670000

I have a lot of thoughts about this fic, the zine and the qsmp in general so I'm just going to write it all under the Keep Reading line cause this ramble might be as long as my fic lmao.

When I saw that applications were open for this zine, I initially didn't even consider joining. I liked hideduo but I was definitely out of the fandom by then. I haven't even written anything hideduo specific (I only had like 2 QSMP related fics on AO3 and they were more trauma than romance lmao) so in my head I thought that even if I applied, I wouldn't get selected.

And I guess that mentality ironically is what made me decide to impulse apply during my Marketing class at like 8pm.

And somehow I got accepted.

You can imagine my surprise when I get an email with a discord link saying that I got accepted to be apart of this zine. I joined and then I see a bunch of cool artists and writers that I recognize and my brain immediately goes "oh shit, i should not be here wtf" but thankfully I decided to not be impulsive this time and actually stick with this zine.

And then prompt creation starts and then artists and writer match-ups and then it fully dawned on me that art is going to be created out of my fic. And that was such a complex thought to swallow as I struggled with imposter syndrome yet again (it is what it is lol) and just me trying to grapple with the concept of fan creation as a product of inspiration while being a source of inspiration as well (the fan studies/media nerd in me is jumping out).

And then the sketches and conversations from Kye and Bio started and I was just in awe by their skill and effort that it motivated me to try and write better too.

And then after months of me struggling to write the fic, it was done. I had multiple people look over it including my irl writing group as well as a beta reader (shoutout to skelepen) and I then submitted it to the final submission google form.

There is a clear memory I have in which I am simply working and I just check over at the discord and I see a photo in general chat. It is a snippet of my fic and it is Aynee saying that "damn... this fic got hands" and like 4 other comments from other members of the discord basically saying the same thing. When I tell you that this has almost made me cry at work, I'm not joking cause this was the moment when I truly felt like I contributed enough to the zine.

And now the zine is published and it is 500 pages of pure effort and I feel satisfied with myself but I also feel the looming sense of closure that I know stems from the knowledge that this is the end of my qsmp era.

I've been aware of the qsmp since its inception but I only really got into it during the ice prison event where creators like tubbo, mouse and tina joined. And though i only really lurked in this fandom and occasionally posted, i can still see its effects on me today. I have discovered my ever-growing interest of community building in media and cross-cultural communications and translations. I am currently on a 300+ day streak on Duolingo for Portuguese. I was able to revitalize some of my previous knowledge of French and Korean and actually find joy in learning languages, something that I seriously struggled with when I was younger.

And for that, even though my relationship with the QSMP is now a bit more complicated, I am grateful for it opening my eyes and for allowing me to be a part of it, even in my small amount.

All in all, I am proud that this fic has been created. I am proud of this community that I have been apart of. And even though I am closing this era, it won't be on a bittersweet note like my previous fandoms.

So, thank you.

Thanks to Kye and Bio for creating amazing pieces for my fic, skelepen for beta reading my work, Aynee for creating the zine itself, the POAR discord for being such a cool and fun place and to the larger QSMP community as a whole for being a part of my life.

[elisedonut]

(Hiii, Sirius/Remus/Percy anon back again ^-^ )

I like the smut element in this fic (because it's helpful to their relationship and it's fun to write) but I'm a little worried because the first scene is a bit dubcon, they both don't wanna be there, it's Percy first relationship, Sirius feels like shit, it's a weird situation yk? So I'm worried I'm not going to get the emotions right and it'll come off as Sirius being all r@pe-y

You should definitely write that! (there is serial shortage of both omega Percy fics and Percy centric smut fics lol)

I'm glad the hate was just silly then :)

Another snippet!

"Sirius's mouth is hot on his, lips soft and tasting like the lemon slices he puts in his tea. He crowds him backwards, hands fumbling for purchase, half slipping under Percy's waistband. His back hits the counter, hands clutching the marble and Sirius's knee moves between his legs and he gasps, leaning into the friction, legs spreading. Eager, unfolding under him, a part of himself reveling in the tension breaking, the anticipation of what follows. And then as quickly as that pressure is applied, he's gone, stumbling back, the flowers they picked earlier fluttering to the floor. 'Fuck.' Sirius mutters, dragging a hard through his hair. 'What am I doing?' 'Sirius, wait!' Percy calls but he's is gone, disappeared to get drunk again. What kind of a omega are you? He scolds himself. Not even your own husband can stick around you."

Wbwb!

Ah yeah that's valid tbh its a fine line when it comes to dub-con. but I'm also biased because I love dub-con especially in Omegaverse type situations. For me part of the appeal is the whole control issue.

which is sad because more and more I'm seeing omegaverse fics where the characters have far too much control of themselves for my taste personally. like i keep seeing fics where its just like "Oh you don't want this I know you don't want this" And the Alpha being able to handle staying in the room while the Omega is in heat with only a clenching hand and some sweating and I'm always so disappointed.

Like no dude Heat now, regret and hate yourself for it later

or you know hold your breath and run away that's always fun too

Like if someone IRL says they can't control themself they are lying but part of the appeal for me with Omegaverse is that I think that shouldn't be a lie for them. I think they should have to fight tooth and nail to not follow their instincts and while obviously that wont be as strong in a non rut/heat scenario I personally do think it should still be there just like lighter.

Like I've seen a few times where writers make the control issue more of a non issue on the whole but then have it being really difficult to avoid with the main couples by adding like the more compatible people are for each other the better they smell and the harder it is to resist them and i find that very fun tbh

Anyway i went on a tangent because I just like to talk and I have tons of thoughts about Omegaverse but point is Omegaverse is inherently a dub-con type trope so I wouldn't worry about it too much!!

And perhaps!! I do think we are very lacking in Omega!Percy fics and i do have a lot of concepts for him in my head though not all are actually smut so maybe one day!

As for the snippet!

That's really good! very fun!! but poor Percy

This is going to be so messy that's so fun

Everybody's having problems and all their problems are making it worse for everyone else and i love that so much

[cloudjumpervalka]

updates on art book stuff i guess ?

i uh. worked on the concept for a couple months about a year ago now with the intention of submitting it as a proposal for a local art grant. i submitted it in august i believe ? with the grant work period scheduled to be 1/1/24 - 6/30/24.

late december comes around and i keep messaging the arts council for an update and they say they are running behind because of an influx of submissions. eventually by like mid late january they do the public reviews/scoring zia zoom. now i had read the rules again and again for months. i knew all i needed was a score of 70 or above to be funded. i was the first submission (bc i had planned for months lol) so they reviewed it first. i got a score of 76 so i was !!! so happy. they say emails will go out about the details in a couple weeks

i wait a couple weeks and they send out an email saying they changed the rules and that you need a score of 80 or above to be funded because they "ran out of money" in order to fund everyone who got a 70 or above. with my 76 it meant i got my hopes up for nothing lmao.

they did say they would look for spare funded and send another email by mid april with info if they are able to find spare funding for everyone in that extra 10%. welp like 2 weeks ago i got the email saying "welp we found no more funding so ur shit out of luck"

so no grant funding for the project. i know i was docked points bc "even tho it was all well planned, they cant tell who the target audience of the book is" imo i think thats really funny considering i specifically wrote ive been a student for the past decade and focusing on that so im not sure exactly who my audience is. my plan was to use some of the money to set up a space at our local first friday to be able to connect with people irl and find who my audience is but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ thats not enough i guess

anyway idk if this thing of "rule changing" and all the delays in information is a normal thing bc its my first time applying but god it annoys me.

anyway again, the plan was to be able to release untitled book project for $15 a book so the grant could cover extra expenses but that isnt the case anymore 😔 the books will prob be around $20-$25 instead (i really wanted to make it more affordable bc asphodisles was so much to get printed)

anyway a third time, we as a society really need to give all creatives a basic income to live so i can just make art without having to think about how it can be marketable

[archaardvarkarchive]

finally someone who speaks to the point!

I genuinely appreciate that a lot, even though I will still debate it.

Unless catharsis cannot be obtained any other way (it can) this still doesn’t exactly get to the core of whether an author ‘should’ or shouldn’t do it.

For as many of the audience might experience catharsis, another segment may (really, will) be heaped with more pain than their life currently holds.

So the utilitarian calculus here is muddled at best, and perhaps weighted towards the negative at worst.

That’s not to unilaterally condemn any death that ever happens in fiction ever (it’s way more complicated than that, and also not all harm is big enough to merit moral consideration, or much of it …)

Now, we have to examine whether the abstract concept of “Themes” is a moral good in itself. What’s the argument for that?

Inflicting more pain on the audience is in what way a moral good? This isn’t a sarcastic question at all! It’s what has to be justified for this line of argument to work.

The “characters are not real people” angle is a very tricky one- I can try to locate some science papers on comparing brain scans of directing people to think about fictional characters vs. those in their lives

(but I’m not sure I saved the links lol)

Would you disagree or agree that the grief that say, an autistic person may experience from a character they are hyperfixated on, may in fact be quite a bit stronger than real life people who die? Don’t take this question lightly- many people on the aromantic or autistic spectrum quite literally do not form as strong social bonds!!

(speaking from both forum discussions about having atypical reactions to funerals, and personal experience of IRL bonds, tho im not going to get into which of the two traits I am for the scope of this discussion)

That’s the extreme example ofc, I don’t know how NT or allo ppl, or further, people who do not have as vivid imaginations or don’t trauma-bond to characters internally experience this pain.

I can’t be inside another person’s brain.

That’s part of the reason why it’s hard to gauge exactly how much moral weight this should have.

It’s just poor form to make fun of the screenshotted person’s expressing its objectively unnecessary nature (because it is ultimately unnecessary even if it’s justified. That vocabulary switch needs to be noted here, because you use the word “need.” Need refers to things like eating, drinking, maybe even war- if it’s defensive- it does not apply to fiction choices. Period.)

Now, if I can weigh in on my fuzzy memory of Holes… Sam may have been maimed, jaded, chosen not to go through the trouble of pursuing her (people break off dating for any number of lesser reasons than mortal danger! Alloromanticism is not as unstoppable a force as people like to think) harmed in any number of ways that pried him away from her, and the narrative would still have worked. Maybe not even worked “as much.” But so what? What’s the argument that it should (that’s a moral ‘should’ there) work in the way that’s superlative? Also note here, WE THE READERS are not attached to Sam. We barely know him. He doesn’t apply to the argument that the screenshot was trying to point out!!

This example is not what’s being presented!

I engaged it out of courtesy, and bc I don’t mind tangents, as long as they are clearly and fully acknowledged as tangents.

@msexcelfractal

I did not intend to insinuate that authors are ‘careless’ in any way.

In a similar way that people in decades past might not know or weigh what ‘micro-aggressions’ were bc they were more concerned with overt racism, humanity has the ongoing potential to self-reflect more and more. To refine moral considerations to a higher degree than people did previously, even if said previous people were plenty moral within their context and their frame of reference.

im starting to think you guys dont like it when stories make you feel things

[la-principessa-nuova]

I am getting very confused about my own egg-cracking timeline.

Trans Ramblings

In 2015 I first started to question when (to keep it short) something I was reading lead to me basically thinking, “Why do people feel that they relate to characters of their own gender more? I don’t. In fact I feel like I relate more to female characters. I wonder if they’re just inherently more relatable. That or I’m trans, lol. Ha ha… ha? Wait… Could I be?”

Then I had a brief phase (a couple weeks to a month maybe) of deep introspection and exploring the concept of identifying internally as a woman. Then somehow over time it faded into the background and somehow I just let it sit unresolved.

Then I’m kind of blurry on the next 8 years. I know that from time to time when I was alone with my thoughts, I would think about it, and I always landed on, “Well I’m definitely not cis, but I’m fine being a guy, so it’s probably best to not rock the boat and just tell myself I’m probably nonbinary and keep using he/him and presenting the same.”

But I also know that every time I played a video game and picked/created a girl character (as I always had), after that realization, I was aware what I was doing. I kept saying it was for cis reasons if someone asked, but I was fully aware this was my escape to be who I wanted to be, and knew that I was engaging with sides of the game that were about experiencing femininity through the character (e.g. focusing on the character’s outfits heavily since I couldn’t dress fem IRL). I stressed over what to name each character, making sure the name felt right on me.

But I think it was a slow realization from initially feeling inside that it might be for trans reasons, but suppressing that thought, to the last few years practically giggling with glee every time my in-game outfit looked cute and felt like me.

And then in the last few years, I know I still kept landing on probably being nonbinary every time I went over it again, but shifting more and more fem each time, but I remember having all but accepted it. And I thought that for the past year or so it was just a few well intentioned but misleading videos I saw that had temporarily convinced me I couldn’t be a trans woman.

But then last night I was looking at my old notes (basically diary entries) and found stuff where I was very intentionally applying masculine words to myself in a completely private, personal context. I even had one where I was personifying the different moods I get into, and they were all masculine names. I remember knowing at the time that they were basically arbitrary and barely fit, but I can’t even get myself into a headspace now to understand how I would have picked those names, and I feel offended by myself to have these masculine names applied to me. The only thing is that I don’t remember if maybe I intentionally misgendered myself with that one because I was worried if someone (literally who though?) looked through my phone and saw fem names, but then I could have just used descriptive words and not names, so IDK.

But it’s like there was this weird veil where 1% of the time, I was fully aware I was probably trans for the past 8 years, and by the time I fully accepted it in December it had grown to like 2%, but the other 98-99% of the time, I didn’t just pretend not be trans, I completely forgot and went about saying I was male.

Then I finally finished processing the thought, and it went from a rare thing I think about sometimes to all-encompassing. Part of it for sure is that I’ve recognized the dysphoria for what it is. Now when I see myself in the mirror and feel bad, I realize it’s my gender presentation, not my weight that makes me feel that way. When I look in the mirror and it feels like the person in the mirror isn’t me, I realize it’s because the person in the mirror looks male, not because I must be dehydrated or something. When I become aware of my genitals being in the way, I realize it’s because they’re the wrong ones. When I am called a man or he/him and it feels wrong, I realize it’s because I should be called she/her, not because I’m just not comfortable with adult words being applied to me yet.

All of these things are constant reminders that I’m trans, and things that made me feel uncomfortable in a way I couldn’t place and I moved on from are now things I have a name for and can identify, so of course now I see the connection and have them on my mind.

But I’m still confused how I thought of it so little and made so little process in processing these thoughts in 8 years. And it leaves me confused on when exactly egg cracked. Was it in 2015 when I said, “Wait… am I trans?” And decided the answer was probably yes but I wasn’t going to do anything about it? Or was it in 2023 when I became confident in my answer and realized how much dysphoria I was actually experiencing?

[your-daily-biaswrecking]

Hello! can you do a scenario with fem!reader and father's best friend!namjoon? I totally understand if this is a concept you're uncomfortable with. All the armys are going crazy with the dilf!bts concept so I need to have this 😭

Tbh that's a hard concept (like absolutely don't do this irl y'all plss it's not okay if it's not fiction– go in the notes to read my PSA pls) so I had to write a bit of plot at the beginning just because I wanted to make it as less weird as possible lol

Namjoon wasn't the type of family friend you got to see a lot growing up. He was, however, the type of friend you got to hear about a lot. Your dad had spent his high school years being in a band that never really had its break, and Namjoon had apparently been the youngest member and your father's favourite. He kept talking about how he "raised" him, meaning he helped him get his first kiss and taught him about girls. Then your dad got your mum pregnant right after graduating, and they both decided to move to the US to find a job and start their family. Your family. And so your dad lost touch with his best friend.

He talked about him quite often, and you knew he had even visited once when you were still too young to have a memory of it. You had only ever seen a couple of pictures of them together; Namjoon looked like a very cringy 13-year-old with a terrible haircut. Not that your dad as a teenager looked any better. But that's beside the point. It doesn't matter what he looked like back then, today you probably wouldn't be able to even recognize him even if he passed you on the street.

"Did I tell you? My best friend moved here from Korea! The band kids are back together!"

Namjoon came back into your father's life at around the same time as you left it– moved away for college. And you kept getting all these updates on how great it was that they found each other again, how many things they did together and in general how happy your dad was. When you visited home for Christmas, Namjoon was away so you didn't run into him. And almost a year after he had moved there, you would finally meet him during the summer. Your father invited him for dinner one hot evening in July.

You opened the door to find him standing outside, your mother just a step behind to greet him. “Joonie! So glad you could make it. Come on in, come on in... Ah! As you know, this is our daughter.”

The man was tall and handsome, nothing like the pictures you had seen. And familiar. His eyes met yours and he smiled, making your blood run cold— you had seen that man before. Not even a week ago, staring at you at the bar while sipping his whiskey until you decided he was too hot and couldn’t be older than 30, so you walked up to him and gave him a napkin with your number and a lipstick stain of a kiss on it. He never called.

“Wow,” Namjoon said without his tone matching his words. “She has grown up so much.” And he looked you up and down again, checking you out kind of like he had done that night. Your entire face was burning, turning on your heels to get away. What the fuck kind of luck was that? He was your dad's friend? You hoped– you begged that he didn't recognize you. He wasn't saying anything, though his eyes kept on stealing looks, and so you thought you might have had a close escape. Until you run into each other in the kitchen. Alone. "Come here, young lady," he said in a deep voice that sent shivers down your spine. You already felt like you were in trouble. "Does your father know you go around giving your number to men almost twice your age?"

He was so close, eyes travelling lazily down your form with a smirk on his lips. "No," you choked. "I– I don't– You were staring at me, that's why I thought..."

"I was staring at you because I was trying to figure out if you were my best friend's daughter."

Hearing him say the words made your cheeks burn. Defeat. He had a logical excuse and all you had was that he was a little too much your type. And he sounded like he was scolding you, reminding you of your place. You lowered your head, really wanting to get out. "Please don't tell him."

Don't tell him I hit on you. Don't tell him I wanted to fuck you.

Namjoon didn't reply right away, but late that night you got a text from an unknown number. "I won't tell him anything."

He won't tell him anything. Perhaps that could be applied to what had already happened, or what would happen in the future.

You didn't text frequently, but you did nonetheless. And even though you were sure both of you would say they were simple, innocent texts, how innocent could they really be when the man already knew how you felt about him? Maybe you were crazy, but you thought he might like you too. Maybe he liked the fact that you liked him. It wasn't evident in anything he did or say, just the vibes you got from him those days he visited your house, or the way he looked at you when you were left alone for a second. The summer passed by so fast when every other day you met your father's best friend in one way or another.

When it was time for you to move back to the city where you attended college, Namjoon just so happened to be going there for some work too. And your parents were grateful that you had someone to travel with. The car ride was long and mostly silent. You had never been left alone for so long and suddenly you realised how hard it was to keep a conversation going without talking about how horny he made you feel just by being in the same, tight space with you. But the farther away you got from home, the less you cared about keeping your good reputation up.

"Where will you sleep tonight?" you asked him after he helped drop off all your stuff at your apartment late that night and was already at the door, ready to leave.

"I'll find a hotel," he told you, hand still on the door handle.

"You can stay here if you want to."

"Don't–" His plea was soft-spoken, in contrast to the intense way his eyes were piercing yours.

"Don't what?" you acted dumb. "All I'm saying is I'm sure dad would rather you stay instead of paying for a room. You're like family, anyway."

You noticed how he took in a deep breath, grip around the knob getting harder. "Don't bring him into this."

Saying that you two shouldn't mention your father was like admitting what was going on right now was beyond innocent. And even though your stomach clenched at his harsh tone, you bowed your head and whispered. "I'm sorry."

"This is so wrong," you heard him call loudly all of a sudden, making you look back at him. He was chewing on his lip desperately. "I was there when your dad got your mom pregnant. Do you know what I said? Fuck, man, how are you gonna get out of this bullshit? I shouldn’t be…"

You blinked at him, waiting to hear the end of the sentence. "Shouldn't be what?" You weren't gonna let him slip away that easily. You would push him until he had to say what he wanted to say. It was your only chance, anyway.

Namjoon sighed. He pushed the door closed and walked up to you steadily all while he was staring straight into your eyes. "Why did you give me your number that night?"

Your breathing was already getting heavier. You wouldn't back away. What was the point? He knew already. "Because you were hot. And I wanted you to fuck me."

He chewed his lip for a few seconds, watching your face as he contemplated his next words. "Why do you want me to stay over tonight?"

You gulped. He was so close, closer than ever. "Because you're hot," you whispered. Glance down on his lips. "And I want you to fuck me."

He closed his eyes momentarily before he was exhaling loudly. "Fucking– hell!"

And he instantly moved forward, one hand grabbing the back of your head as he brought your face to crush on his, mouths smashing against each other after all the times you had dreamed about it. It was so much better than you could have imagined, lips full and soft parting yours for his tongue to slip in between, making you moan. And you were trying to get closer and closer, almost tripping as you walked blindly further into the apartment. His jacket was discarded on the floor before your shirt joined it, and Namjoon was growling before attacking your neck with his teeth.

"Daddy..." The word truly slipped out of you, and he was pausing for a moment, pulling away to look at you.

"Really? You're really gonna call me daddy?" Your eyes were wide and cheeks burning, squirming away from him before he grabbed your wrist to keep you close. "Shit," he grunted, not sounding mad at all. "Alright, baby. Show daddy where your room is, need to get you in bed right away."

And you mewled at his words. You were there in no time, pulling the rest of your clothes off as Namjoon undressed too. Big and thick, he was even hotter like that, making you press your legs together as you took the sight in. And when he removed his boxers too, you got to found out his dick matched the rest of his body perfectly, long and thick and so hot it made your mouth water.

"Daddy," you whined as he started crawling over you. "You're so big. You're gonna tear me apart."

His large hand grabbed your jaw. "That's what you get for playing with big boys." And he kissed you ruthlessly again. His other hand travelling down your form until he found your pussy, fingers playing with your folds and humming in satisfaction. "So wet. Is that all for me, baby?"

"Yes, daddy," you moaned, hips trying to grind on his hand for some more friction. "I've been wet for you since I first saw you."

"Fuck. I know, baby," he breathed into your ear, two fingers slipping slowly inside you and stretching you out. "I could tell. You weren't hiding it very well, baby. How much you wanted me to ruin you. Which is why daddy's been hard for you all this time, too." Your breath was hitching as he was moving his hands slowly, not even trying to fuck you like that, just trying to get you ready for his cock. And he stopped. "Are you gonna let daddy fuck you raw, baby?"

You almost screamed. "Fuck, yes, daddy, please! Fuck me open with your cock."

Namjoon was growling as he retrieved his fingers from inside you. "What a dirty mouth! Who taught you to speak like that, you dirty, little whore? I thought you were a good girl."

Your nails were scratching his back as you whined and squirmed underneath him. "Oh, daddy, please! I need you! I'll be good for you."

And you felt the tip of his dick press against your entrance as he shushed you. "Alright then. Be a good girl for daddy and take this big cock like the good, little slut you are." And he shoved himself in you.

"O–oh my god!" you yelped. Namjoon didn't go easy on you, didn't go slow or gentle, he started pounding you fast and hard right away, truly fucking you open like you had asked him to. You were squirming underneath him but his body was so big and strong, it was caging you completely. And just to shut you up he kissed you again, tongue so deep in your mouth he was choking you. Namjoon was fucking you so hard he brought tears to your eyes, and you felt euphoric being used by him like that.

"My dirty, little cunt," he rasped after he freed your mouth. "Like taking my cock like that?" You were nodding, mewling, unable to speak. "What a good girl. Letting daddy fuck her as hard as he wants." He leaned back, grabbing your arms until he had your wrists pinned above your head and the new position gave him the ability to piston his hips against yours even faster, diving even deeper.

"Fuck, daddy, I'm gonna cum," you cried, legs shaking as they fought against his abusing thrusts between them.

"So easy," Namjoon panted with a smirk. "So easy to please you. Gonna cum cuz you've never had dick like daddy's before, huh? No one's ever fucked you this good? Those little boys your age, I bet they don't know shit about pleasing a nasty girl like you." He spat on his free hand and brought it right down on your clit, pressing on it hard. And you were moaning even louder. "There you go, baby. You can cum on daddy's dick now."

"Namjoon–" you yelped, and you felt your orgasm pop, gushing all your juices over him as he kept fucking you through it. He slowed down a bit, coming down to kiss you sloppily as you continued to whine with each thrust against your sensitive, tight walls.

"That's my good girl," he whispered, kissing you almost lovingly. "Don't worry, baby. We're not nearly done yet." And his thrusts slowly got deeper and deeper. "You really shouldn't have let me fuck you, baby. Cuz now I don't ever plan on stopping."

Masterlist | Part 2

[cwfei]

> First of all, you said anime characters aren't real and are just 2d. Pen and ink, right?

And when has this been a problem till now? I don’t know anyone who would bring their anime fetishes to real life. And yes, they are not real so who cares? Finding Yuji attractive is the same liking racist mass murderer Geto. They are fantasies and you’re crying over it. Oh wait this the first time on the internet? Lol

> Well, let me tell you what lil bro, loli art is also just "pen and ink" or "2d", it doesnt affect you, right? But you're really quick to send the artist death threats, arent you? (im not defending lolicons they can go jump off a cliff with these pedos aswell)

What the fuck are you even saying? No one sending death threats to artists. You’re an angry child throwing a hissy fit over people liking fictional characters that can be aged up and down in fanfiction. They’re not real so who cares. I’ve never seen anyone complain about this on AO3 or wattpad which is filled with x reader/OC paired with high school anime characters. People make Gojo and Suguru high school AUs as someone else stated and are insanely popular. You’re like the 1% of the people calling these authors pedos and weirdos which I can judge the characters you like and apply real life logic like what you’re doing.

> Second of all, you spoke about japanese culture (not even being japanese yourself, even disrespecting it because sexualisation of minors is anything but culture) and even had the audacity to say they dont look like minors.

Japanese people love cute things and anime characters are meant to be cute. It’s been normalized in their culture. I have no idea half the mumble jumbo cringe shit you’re even saying. People been thirsting over Yuji/Megumi in Japan LOL. I’ve seen the crazy shit they even said about 16 year old twins Mimiko and Nanako talking about their underwear smell. Japanese are far worse with their anime fetishes but I highly doubt they take them to real life and pursue REAL MINORS. Sexualizing a minor would be a REAL MINOR. PROTECT REAL THINGS. NOT FICTION LMAO. These fictional characters you’re protecting aren’t real, and have no rights. If it was illegal and not normalized people wouldn’t be writing fanfics on them on multiple writing platforms.

> Yeah, they dont, but they canonically have ages + I've seen tons of younger people look way older than they are. You're basically saying "oh its fine to date a 13 year old if they look 18!", and trust me, I've seen a TON.

The whole point is that ANIME FICTIONAL characters don’t even look like real people or humans. Stop applying real life to fiction. People can like the art all they want. They don’t even look or act like children. You ever wonder why there’s millions of zero two NSFW art? Also Marin Kitagawa who are both 15-16? Ya cuz they don’t even look like actual children. People liking art? What a fucking crime. Show me the laws that says you can’t simp fictional characters. Please fucking do. Real life and fiction are totally fucking different concepts and shouldn’t be treated the same. You think people are going to pursue mass murderers and want to bang them too irl by this logic? No.

> Third of all, yet again on the japanese culture and mangakas. You said that a lot of mangakas sexualise their own minor characters because its a part of their culture (which isnt, please do research before speaking absolute bullshit about a culture you dont even care to learn about) and that we should "let the japanese cook", basically implying we should let them sexualise these minors more so that you can have your gross perverted fantasies about them.

It literally is normalized in Japan culture. You new to anime or some shit? Look at bleach women, they all look like sexy bimbos but are strong. The author Kubo sexualized his girls. Look at invis chick who’s like 16 in MHA that is NAKED bruh? Also Himiko was naked in front of Twice who is like twice her age LMAO. There’s a lot of manga that sexualize fictional characters that aren’t adults. You haven’t seen much or even know anime culture at all to say the dumbest shit here. Mangakas don’t sexualize real minors but fictional ones? Of course many mangakas do. You should do your own research LOL you’re so stupid.

> Fifth of all, you said it's normal to others, basically proving how fucked up mentally some people are to even think that, how fucking deranged humanity became as a whole because if thats normal to you I suggest booking a permanent visit to an asylum.

Oh yes call millions of upon millions of authors pedos and should be locked up which isn’t even a law to fantasies or like fictional characters. It’s not even a fucking CRIME. They aren’t even real, go ask a psychiatrist if fictional minors have the same rights as real minors. THEY DO NOT. You won’t even get admitted to the psych ward for liking 2D drawings. Fucking hell you’re stupid.

> Sixth of all, you said "You're writing smut about sukuna in a minors body though!" which yeah, okay, I'll give that one to you, but I genuinely dont give a fuck because I'm a minor and I can read whatever the fuck I want without feeling guilty unlike you pedophile, you're basically foaming at the mouth you're unable to read those fics because you'll be considered a pedo (which you are)

“I’m a minor so idgaf” nah you’re fucking weird if you’re underaged finding characters above 18+ hot too. Same dumb logic. You’re just making them pedos because you a MINOR wants to fuck them. Nah you can’t be for real.

> Seventh of all, how the fuck is Sukuna a rapist? You said "arguably", then argue with me bitch if you felt like this post was directed towards you (which it was 🤣)

Really? The first lines he said was “where are the people?! The women?!” Heavily hinted the most evil hedonistic war criminal in the series probably is a rapist. Also, would it even be surprising how evil he is would’ve raped women back in his own era before killing and eating them? Get over it. He’s hot but seriously dumb as hell for a minor like you to find him attractive.

> Eight of all, you said "relax, it's just fantasies we have, they're not real." SO YOU AGREE TO HAVING FANTASIES ABOUT HAVING SEX WITH A MINOR !!

Not the same as real humans. Totally different. Dumbest tales I’ve read all day. Thank you for giving me a laugh with how dumb you are. Liking 2D drawings isn’t the same as liking a real minor. People insert their own OCs the same age as them as well in their own fanfics.

> i dont care if you come for me, i bet you'd want to make out with me or fuck me because im in your prefered age target, faggot:3

Nah you’re fucking gross. Doubt even the older characters in JJk you fantasies about would want to either because you’re a minor. See? Stupid ass logic. Oh yes liking a real minor vs a fictional character is the same. This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Stop comparing real life and fiction as if they are the same thing. They are not and you’re like too young to understand that? You’re cringe as fuck.

> in conclusion: your argument is absolute dogshit

I could say the same with your dog shit argument that is not separating real life and fiction. They are not the same or should EVER be treated the same.

analyzing some milennials "counter-argument" because GOD there's so many loopholes in it im genuinely embarrassed for them.

First of all, you said anime characters aren't real and are just 2d. Pen and ink, right?

Well, let me tell you what lil bro, loli art is also just "pen and ink" or "2d", it doesnt affect you, right? But you're really quick to send the artist death threats, arent you? (im not defending lolicons they can go jump off a cliff with these pedos aswell)

Second of all, you spoke about japanese culture (not even being japanese yourself, even disrespecting it because sexualisation of minors is anything but culture) and even had the audacity to say they dont look like minors.

Yeah, they dont, but they canonically have ages + I've seen tons of younger people look way older than they are. You're basically saying "oh its fine to date a 13 year old if they look 18!", and trust me, I've seen a TON.

Third of all, yet again on the japanese culture and mangakas. You said that a lot of mangakas sexualise their own minor characters because its a part of their culture (which isnt, please do research before speaking absolute bullshit about a culture you dont even care to learn about) and that we should "let the japanese cook", basically implying we should let them sexualise these minors more so that you can have your gross perverted fantasies about them.

Fourth of all, no I'm not american, I'm romanian, you were so close! Must feel great blaming a whole group of people based on someone's opinion (fucking kill yourself)

Fifth of all, you said it's normal to others, basically proving how fucked up mentally some people are to even think that, how fucking deranged humanity became as a whole because if thats normal to you I suggest booking a permanent visit to an asylum.

Sixth of all, you said "You're writing smut about sukuna in a minors body though!" which yeah, okay, I'll give that one to you, but I genuinely dont give a fuck because I'm a minor and I can read whatever the fuck I want without feeling guilty unlike you pedophile, you're basically foaming at the mouth you're unable to read those fics because you'll be considered a pedo (which you are)

Seventh of all, how the fuck is Sukuna a rapist? You said "arguably", then argue with me bitch if you felt like this post was directed towards you (which it was 🤣)

Eight of all, you said "relax, it's just fantasies we have, they're not real." SO YOU AGREE TO HAVING FANTASIES ABOUT HAVING SEX WITH A MINOR !!

i dont care if you come for me, i bet you'd want to make out with me or fuck me because im in your prefered age target, faggot:3

in conclusion: your argument is absolute dogshit

@kiiamei @yomommasdickrider @ashvie @cinnatoru

[ahtsumu]

ceo!kuroo headcanons

↳ pairing: ceo!kuroo tetsurou x personal assistant!reader

↳ genre(s): headcanons, fluff

↳ warning(s): profanity

↳ a/n: this concept’s been at the back of my mind since chapter 401′s release so... here it is heh ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

at just 24 years old kuroo tetsurou has already graced the covers of several big-name finance magazines–– not just because he’s the founder and ceo of nekoma inc., a company worth around $120 billion, but also because he’s, for lack of better words, hot as fuck

you didn’t know why he chose you to be his PA knew exactly why he picked you for the job ok ?? ur a queen and u know ur shit don’t let anyone tell u otherwise

anyway it’s because your resume was flawless, you had a killer sense of style (your legs looked phenomenal in that maroon pencil skirt), your handwriting was immaculate, you weren’t applying because you had plans on marrying him, and most importantly, you were funny

the last requirement was the deal-breaker–– why would he trust someone he can’t be the dork he is around?

at one point in your interview kuroo’s guard fell just enough for a cheeky comment to slip out his mouth. when he realised that he’d basically made a dick joke in front of you, he could only stare at you like oh fuck what have i done

but you were completely unfazed, actually, you replied with another dick joke and that’s when kuroo knew you were the one (for the job)

working as kuroo’s PA isn’t too stressful. he’s actually a really laidback boss but he does have his little quirks that you find cute endearing interesting:

kuroo likes his lattes with a specific milk:espresso ratio and doesn’t trust anyone but you with his starbucks order

he can’t handle meetings before 10 am–– once he saw that you scheduled a meeting with an important investor at 8 and he wouldn’t stop calling you until you rescheduled the meeting

sometimes kuroo’s business partner and irl best friend bokuto will text him a funny joke at work and the first thing kuroo does is forward the text to you. you hate this because you don’t want to tell the secretary across the hall that your boss is sending you memes on your phone, so it just looks like you’re (very lamely) snickering at the graph of last month’s sales on your computer screen LOL

kuroo likes to troll interns when he’s bored (also he likes inviting you in beforehand so that he can hear you laugh too)

one time an intern handed him an important report from the marketing department and he tricked the poor kid into thinking he couldn’t read HAHAHAHA

the intern’s soul literally left his body when kuroo was like, “hey can you read all thirty pages out loud for me? i usually get y/n to do it but as you can see she���s, uh, busy colour-coding the paperclips by the window”

every now and then kuroo’ll come into work at the crack of dawn to watch the sun rise from his office. it’s a big ass office with glass panels for walls at the top floor of the nekoma skyscraper. you asked about it when you were still just starting out and he said it was because the nekoma skyscraper had the best view of the skyline in all of japan.

“i thought the skytree had the best view?”

“are you asking to be fired, y/n??!!”

now it’s your second year at nekoma inc. and kuroo’s grown to depend on you as more than a personal assistant but also a dear friend

when he walks into the office with his first latte of the morning (yes, morning) he’ll always have your order in the other hand

when the office did secret santa your first year kuroo literally sent feelers around to find who had you as their recipient

spoiler: it was lev haiba and the next time he saw you at the office all he could do was whisper “my legs” (because kuroo threatened to break them if he didn’t hand over your wish-list)

every time kuroo sees the set of succulents he got you for christmas on your desk he gets a lil pep in his step

by the second year it’s an unspoken rule that whoever gets you as their recipient has to trade with kuroo

“wow what a coincidence that i’m your secret santa again, y/n!”

“a coincidence, huh”

kuroo also makes an effort to get to know you outside of the office

he actually keeps a journal of some sort and most of his entries also include a part of his day when he learned a new thing about you or shared a personal moment with you… just small things like that :’)

you’re the only person in the office who knows about kenma, his best-friend-turned-famous-twitch-streamer

fun fact: you’re also the only person in the office who kenma has heard about and when kuroo lets your name slip out of his mouth to our lil pudding head that boy is immediately SUSPICIOUS because who says a coworker’s name with a smile like that huh ?!! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

when valentine’s day comes around you brace yourself for the news of kuroo treating his girlfriend to dinner–– i mean, look at him !! how could he possibly be single

little do you know kuroo’s also feeling salty that you’re eventually going to ask to leave early to eAt DinNeR wItH yOuR bOyFrIeNd (at first he tells himself that he’s only brooding because then that means he’d be left doing more work LOL CLOWN)

so when 5 pm rolls around, kuroo makes a stop by your desk and tries to be lowkey with his interrogation

“sooooooooo…. no valentine’s day dinner?”

“nope”

“your boyfriend doesn’t mind?”

“he’d have to exist first”

and kuroo just about combusts from relief but then he’s like O.o wait why am i relieved lol ?? y/n is just a good friend whom i cherish very much what does this mean

and you’re like “no dinner for you either?”

and that’s how you spend your valentine’s day dinner in kuroo’s office, eating the best sushi in tokyo and getting tipsy on a wine you can’t pronounce (nor afford), laughing at each other’s childhood tales

“i used to dream of becoming a professional volleyball player, y’know?”

“what happened?”

did you just hear him say “shrimpy”??

the moment that changes your relationship from professional/friendly to a lil something more is The Trip to Paris™

yeah, it’s been two years and you guys have been flirting since forever and the entire floor ships the hell out of y/n and kuroo but holy shit you never thought it’d happen

there’s a business expo in paris that all the world’s biggest names will be attending, so naturally kuroo’s been invited on behalf of nekoma inc.

you arrange the entire trip like the mf legend you are–– first-class seats to and fro, two hotel rooms for three nights, and kuroo’s personalised event itinerary by the half-hours

you’re not sure if most PA’s come along for events like this but kuroo likes it when you do because he feels a lot more confident with you by his side

and also he loves spending all the time he can get with you

and also you look really pretty all dressed up

and also his business partners always get really jealous that his personal assistant isn’t just a microsoft office legend but also an actual goddess

the event ends with a fancy dinner party that you and kuroo get ready for separately

when you’re done you bang on the door to kuroo’s suite because “the driver’s outside and we’re going to be late if you don’t hurry!!”

he opens the door dressed in evening tuxedo with his bowtie still undone around his neck and he can’t help but let his eyes roam all over your body because that dress is definitely doing your figure justice

also you’re lowkey eye-fucking him but it’s a lil different for you since you see him in a suit every day (not that you’re complaining heh)

“you look… wow”

your cheeks heat up at his compliment and you grumble at him to shut up before you start tying his bowtie right by the door

kuroo watches your focused face with a really fond expression as your fingers work the fabric deftly… and suddenly he realises that you’re standing really close to him and he can hear you breathing softly through your nose and also your lips look divine and your chest is kinda pressed against his and holy shit he’s in love with you and he wants to kiss you sososo bad

your fingers freeze when he cups the sides of your face and presses his forehead against yours

“can i kiss you?” he asks softly

at first you kinda splutter awkwardly because that was a huge mf plot twist, but then you find your voice and give him the go-ahead

at first the kiss is slow and gentle and relatively PG because the two of you are too busy imagining the firework shows happening separately in your heads

but then the initial shock of the kiss melts away and suddenly the atmosphere changes and kuroo starts kissing you with a feral sort of intensity–– like an animal that’s been starved for days

kuroo presses you against the wall, fingers still firmly gripping your face as he deepens the kiss

kuroo definitely confesses his love for you

“y/n, to be honest, i’ve been pining after you for a solid year now”

“and you never told me?!!!”

“i thought you’d reject me”

“dude i’ve been in love with you since that valentine’s day dinner i thought it was obvious ??”

you roast each other for being stupid before quieting down and spending the rest of the night together

turns out the office placed bets on whether or not you’d come back as a couple

lev haiba becomes $200 richer

now that kuroo’s your boyfriend and your boss, HR sits y’all down and explains for the millionth time that he cannot continue touching your ass when he passes you in the hallway

so kuroo just saves all that for his private office ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

kuroo’s big on PDA so to cope with being unable to physically touch you at work he does sweet little acts of love for you instead

whenever you look especially stressed (typically during the planning portion for any company event) kuroo calls the nearby florist for a small bouquet of whatever flowers they have and watches them delivered to you from his door that sly lil shit

he’ll ask you to print something for him and it’ll turn out to be a love poem

or a confirmation for concert tickets or dinner reservations

he still forwards you jokes from bokuto

kuroo also still wakes up at the crack of dawn to watch the sunrise from his office. you surprise him one day by joining him in your own office clothes, holding a mug of coffee in each hand (one has a regular milk:coffee ratio, the other is a mathematical abomination)

“aren’t you glad i didn’t fire you when you said the skytree had the best view of tokyo?”

“saying that it’s a tie is pushing it”

“you’re on thin fucking ice”

[watch-grok-brainrot]

wrt the new discourse on zhiji by pumpkinpaix and hunxi, has your stance on zhiji that the other anon asked about changed?

ok. so i think it’s unfair for you to think i follow the same folk you do even if i recommend them and that i read everything from them. while the first one is true, i do follow both of them, i don’t read everything from them. i follow a few hundred folk and it’s just a lot to actually read everything so i just kinda look at my dash when i have bandwidth (i don’t have much lately) and see what i see.  if you could actually link me to things in teh future if you want my opinion, that would be greatly appreciated. i’m not mad -- just pointing out different folk curate their tumblr experiences differently. 

Anyway, I found @pumpkinpaix‘s post and skimmed it. I didn't see an addition by hunxi. Maybe I wasn't looking hard enough... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it’s 6:30 am when i started this endeavor. cut me some slack. lol

tl;dr: my feelings haven’t changed. i don’t actually think my stance is that different. the point cyan made about "to use “soulmate” as a catch-all translation for 知己 changes the axis upon which the relationship moves” is more or less what i was trying to say when i rambled about all the different ways i would translate soulmate depending on context. I did say “if I were to see it in a novel or show I was trying to translate, I may translate it differently each time.” 

also, the goals of our posts were different. cyan wants to vent and contemplate and hers is a salt post. i was toasting in a warm fuzzy spot of shan he hell and wanted to share the joy and love. so of course out answers are gonna sound different.do i agree the way the english speaking fandom uses soulmates misses the point? yup. am i gonna do something about it? nah. i am so tired right now from irl. fandom isn’t something i want to spend excess bandwidth on to make myself upset. 

i get cyan’s ire. she is valid. I think cyan’s solution to translate as some sort of knowing/to know works fine. it changes the key word from a noun to a verb but it’s a nice solution if it works for her. 

cyan's point that the fandom misconstrues things and applies all the English connotations to Chinese concepts and then leans in on all the (inaccurate) english concepts while ignoring the layers of connotations of that original word is spot on. I don't think I'm quite as angry as cyan had managed to get over this one translation choice... But 1) you end up getting whiplash about different things (my annoyance lately is found family and yi-based family vs actual blood relationships and how fandom just throws familial terms around and remove all subtlety... and THEN get upset when you ship yi-based relationship folk because it’s suddenly incest? uh... what?.... *breathes in* but i’m not gonna make this a salt post....) 2) I agree it is an inherent problem with translation:  remember there are often not 1:1 translations of words from one language to another. i still maintain there are times where the word soulmates work but zhiji lets you pretend it’s never romantic if you need to. the lu xun line was not a romantic one, iirc. but i have seen soulmate, the person who knows me, bosom friend, kindred spirit, etc and they are all valid. even “this person SEES me” or “someone who gets me”, “someone i vibe with” works depending on context. as i said in my post, i would translate zhiji on a case by case basis. and let me be a little cheeky: if we don’t really look at what we’re translating and picking the words on a case-by-case and contextual bases, we risk producing something that sounds like MTL.  

anyway, i don’t really know where i’m going. this ask dragged me out of bed way too early and now i need to shower and start my day. 

have a good day nonny. and anyone else reading this. remember if you don’t actually know the language and culture, please be careful in the assumptions you make that aren’t crack posts.

i also know i leaned into the “how did this get past censorship” stuff for shl -- but the things i posted about are actually tropes/references that are usually romantic applied to wenzhou. the soulmate things is cute but i read a LOT less into the use of a single word than all the visual clues in that show... i’m still rambling. crap. need to shower. 

[ya-girl-mc]

Sweet Indulgence

Character: Kuroo Tetsurou × Fem Reader

Concept: Y/N and Kuroo spend their Valentine's evening with a homecooked date night dinner; then came "dessert" 😏

⚠️ Warning: Sexual content (also contains a minor spoiler from the Haikyuu!! manga since I referred to a lil detail there for Kuroo's character in this fic)

A/N: Happy Valentine's Day ya'll esp to those who'll be spending it alone (me lol 😔✊). This fic was requested by a dear irl friend of mine who's one of the biggest Kuroo trash I know so here ya go 😉

☆☆ A Haikyuu!! Fanfiction ☆☆

"Damn it."

Kuroo's disgruntled voice caused Y/N to look up from her morning coffee as she gazed at him inquisitively. "What's up?"

A deep frown etched on his face, he sighed and set his phone down on the table, his attention once again on his half-eaten breakfast. "The Chief. He needs me to work overtime tonight, of all times. I swear that old man is giving me way too much load for how much I'm getting paid-"

Y/N brought up her coffee mug to her lips, gazing at her boyfriend sympathetically as she listened to him rant about his rather unfortunate office life. While Kuroo loves and is adept at his new job at the Sports Promotion Division of the Japan Volleyball Association, his overbearing boss made matters far from pleasing.

Ah yes, the toil of the working class.

"-and we even made those dinner reservations tonight for Valentine's Day."

Oh, right. Like any typical run-of-the-mill working class couple, Y/N and Kuroo were looking forward to a classy dinner to celebrate the 14th, yet the unforeseen circumstances seemed to have derailed their evening plans. Huffing in annoyance, he set his utensils down and shot her a guilty look. She was quite disappointed of course, but it couldn't be helped; it's all part of the game, as they say. "It's fine, we could always go at a different time. You do what you gotta do."

"You know, when you act all level-headed like that, I can't help but feel even worse," Kuroo sighed, thoroughly frustrated at how his boss managed to ruin their dinner plans.

She grinned at him as an idea occurred to her. "What time do you get off work today?"

"Probably 8 or 9, at the latest. Why?"

"Great!" Y/N chimed, chuckling sheepishly as soon as she noticed the impassive expression on Kuroo's face. "Well...not because you have to work overtime since that definitely sucks. I mean, I'd have enough time to prepare us a fancy dinner for date night." Her eyes lit up in excitement, her mind already racing with ideas as she began to ponder on what dishes to prepare.

Kuroo grinned at her in amusement, feeling himself gradually get over his workplace woes. Glancing at his phone, he briskly cleaned up after himself and proceeded to grab his belongings. "Thanks for the meal, but I'd better go on ahead. The earlier I can get there, the sooner I can get everything done."

Y/N followed suit and ushered him to the entrance of their shared apartment. It was pretty rare to see Kuroo invigorated on a weekday morning as he usually lazed around with her for a bit before they both headed off to their respective offices; the idea of a scrumptious date night dinner prepared by his lover definitely served as extra motivation to get through the day.

After adjusting his tie, she proceeded to ruffle his hair to try and straighten his stubborn bed head, but to no avail. "I don't know how you can seem to pull off going to work with bed hair, but anyway, do your best today, Kuroo-san!" She teased and saw him off with a salute.

Damn it, how adorable.

In one swift motion, he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close, his lips pecking hers ever so slightly as he pulled away, chuckling at the dazed expression on her face. "I'll make it up to you later, I promise. Then, I'll be off." He waved at her as Y/N watched his retreating figure, her heart still pounding from their prior interaction.

As I thought, cohabitation really is the best.

*****

It was just about past 7 in the evening when Y/N arrived at their apartment with an armful of groceries. Despite getting off from work as early as 5:30, she lost track of time in the supermarket, completely engulfed with the multitude of ideas that raced through her mind. Cooking was a passion of hers, and there's nothing she enjoys more other than spoiling her significant other with her culinary prowess.

Unloading the bags on the kitchen's countertop, Y/N's eyes scanned over the ingredients, thoroughly pleased with her purchase.

Seared rib eye steak paired with a classic red wine jus, a creamy and delectable potato au gratin as a side dish, and a decadent chocolate mousse dessert for that extra indulgence...ahhh it's perfect! I'll make sure that every penny spent on these ridiculously expensive ingredients will be worth it!

Y/N threw an apron on and proceeded to undertake the necessary preparations for each of the dishes, determined to salvage what's left of her and Kuroo's Valentine's Day plans with probably the best dinner she'll be preparing by far. She recounted on the recipes she had sneakily studied in-between working hours, finding herself completely engrossed with the tasks at hand.

Okay, the gratin's baking in the oven...once there's 30 minutes left to its cooking time that's when I'll start preparing the red wine jus. Then I'll be searing the steak, let it rest, then prepare the mousse in the process. Yep, I got this in the bag!

Once more immersing herself in her culinary escapades, Y/N was finally down to the last task of whipping up the chocolate mousse when the front door opened, signaling Kuroo's arrival from work as the wonderful aromas that wafted from the kitchen uplifted him from his weariness. With her back turned towards him, he shut the door and sauntered towards the kitchen, a scheming grin on his face as he crept towards his oblivious girlfriend.

"Y/N," he breathed teasingly into her ear, causing her to yelp in surprise.

"Goddammit, Tetsurou!" She hastily switched off the hand mixer to avoid splattering chocolate mousse everywhere, shooting him a dirty look in the process. "You're lucky I only had a mixer in my hand! What if it was something else, like a-"

The sight of her handsome lover, still clad in his office attire with a bouquet of flowers in his hand, rendered her speechless. He chuckled as Y/N continued to gawk at him, stepping closer to wrap his free arm around her shoulders. "Happy Valentine's Day." Kuroo tenderly pressed his lips on her temples as he handed her the bouquet.

Ahh, great. Now I feel like crap for yelling at him like that. Unable to suppress the smile that made its way to her face, she sheepishly accepted his gift, standing on her toes to plant an appreciative kiss on his cheek. "T-thank you...and Happy Valentine's Day, too."

The warmth that adorned her cheeks just made her even more irresistible, yet Kuroo tried to reel in his urges as he allotted a reasonable distance between them. "So, what did my cute lover prepare for date night?"

As if on cue at his inquiry, her eyes immediately lit up. "Well, I started off by preparing the potato au gratin since that takes the longest to cook. I infused the cream with a little thyme, rosemary, and a dash of lemon zest to cut back on the heaviness. Then, for the rib eye steak, I-" Kuroo simply listened on as she rambled, the corners of his mouth turning upwards as she explained the entirety of the cooking process of each of the dishes she had prepared. While he didn't understand a majority of it, it was utterly endearing for him to see her so engrossed in the fervor of her culinary passion.

So basically, she prepared a fancy potato dish, a steak dish, and chocolate mousse for dessert. Damn it, she's just too adorable when she goes all out.

"-so anyway," Y/N continued, grasping Kuroo's attention once more. "Can you check if the mousse tastes fine? I'm a bit concerned that I may have fallen short on the sweetness." With a spoon in hand, she scooped a generous amount and held it out for him to taste.

Taking it into his mouth, Kuroo's eyes widened as the dessert's decadence flooded his taste buds. The mousse was not overbearingly sweet due to the dark chocolate she used, yet it still delivered the right amount of indulgence for a dessert; the perfect balance of flavor was definitely to his liking. "Wow, that's delicious!" He exclaimed and was tempted to beg for another spoonful.

Y/N grinned, her pride swelling up at his positive feedback. "Yay, glad to hear! I'll be popping this in the fridge to chill while we have dinner."

Setting down the bouquet of flowers on the countertop, she proceeded to take the bowl; however, Kuroo had something else in mind as he held her arm and leaned closer, peering at her inquisitive expression. "Why don't you give it a taste as well?"

"Uhm...okay." As she reached for another spoon, Kuroo snatched it away from her and shook his head dismissively. Scooping a spoonful of the mixture, he applied a dollop of mousse on his fingers and held it out, a mischievous smirk on his face.

"Here." 

The atmosphere between them suddenly shifted, and with Kuroo eyeing her so earnestly, she couldn't help her cheeks from flaming up at his promiscuous gesture. Amid Y/N's brief contemplation, he brushed his fingers across her lips and gently pushed them into her mouth.

Her heart thumping at how unbelievably alluring Kuroo was at their proximity, she locked her eyes with his, her tongue slowly lapping up the remnants of chocolate mousse. It was long gone, yet she continued to suck fervently on his fingers, earning a shudder from him. She slowly took it out of her mouth, keeping her gaze trained on his. "You're right, it is delicious."

Kuroo's eyes darkened with lust as he took a step closer, running his thumb across her lip to collect all remaining traces of the mousse. His tongue slowly darted out of his mouth and licked his thumb clean, grinning as Y/N simply stared at him, her mouth slightly agape. "I know that you just prepared us a delicious dinner, but there's something else I'd rather eat right now."

Unable to hold himself back any longer, Kuroo slipped his hand behind her head, pulling her close as his lips urgently met hers. The force nearly made Y/N stumble, but his arm immediately went around her waist, stabilizing her position as she met his kiss with fervor. As their tongues intertwined, both of them could detect a hint of sweetness from the remnants of the chocolate mousse which only intensified their thirst for the other.

Y/N struggled to breathe as Kuroo's tongue relentlessly explored her mouth, the hands that held his blazer beginning to tremble. He took her bottom lip into his teeth, the sharp sensation causing her knees to buckle as he backed her up into the countertop, pressing himself even closer to her. Her head was beginning to spin, and if it weren't for Kuroo's lean stature holding her in place, she would have collapsed then and there.

"T-tetsurou," Y/N gasped out as Kuroo trailed his lips across her jaw and down to her neck, wincing as she felt his teeth graze the skin. His hands wandered down to her waist as he hoisted her up on the countertop, his tongue darting out to soothe the love bites he left along her neck. Pulling away momentarily, he eyed her with raw passion and need as he loosened up his neck tie, the seemingly mundane gesture igniting Y/N's desire.

"Strip for me." His voice was low, commanding, yet she could sense the desperation it conveyed. Her heart pounding wildly, Y/N proceeded to remove her apron and unbutton her blouse, her face burning at how Kuroo's eyes scrutinized her every move; however, her current position hindered her as she struggled to discard her skirt. Leaning back on her forearm, she slightly lifted her hips and slipped off her skirt with her free hand, causing Kuroo to grit his teeth at how unbelievably erotic the entire scene was.

Now down to her underwear, Y/N attempted to pull him towards her yet he shook his head defiantly, his finger trailing from her lips down to the swell of her breasts. "I meant all of it."

"You should've clarified it earlier," she huffed, completely flustered at how Kuroo enjoyed making her squirm.

He then responded to her quip with his own. "I didn't think that needed to be clarified, Y/N."

Completely at a loss on how to respond, she sighed in defeat and conceded as her hands moved to discard the last few pieces of clothing, eventually swallowing hard as she noticed how aroused Kuroo had gotten through his slacks. He wanted to take her then and there, but as his eyes wandered to the bowl of chocolate mousse atop the counter, he decided to have a little bit more fun; it was Valentine's Day after all.

Y/N followed his gaze and immediately caught on on what he was planning to do, sighing internally as the dessert she painstakingly made will be used for a completely different purpose. Yet, she fidgeted in anticipation, unable to deny how much the prospect turned her on. Kuroo chuckled, the gestures she displayed serving as all the confirmation he needed to proceed.

Reaching for the bowl and a ladle, Kuroo scooped a generous amount of mousse and poured it on her body, his own breathing picking up as he watched the slightly viscous mixture cascade down her bare chest. "That kind of tickles," Y/N remarked shyly, keeping her eyes trained downwards as she couldn't bring herself to look at him.

As I thought...this is kind of embarrassing after all.

Kuroo sensed her apprehension. He leaned towards her and pressed a reassuring kiss on her cheek, a gentle smile adorning his face. "I'll be cleaning this off of you in no time."

Before Y/N could process the implications of his words, she flinched in surprise as Kuroo's tongue boldly lapped up the mousse on her chest, her hands immediately moving towards his hair as she trembled in pleasure. His hands on her thighs, he abruptly pulled her closer towards him, her legs wrapping around his waist in the process. The sweetness of the mousse and the lustful moans Y/N released overwhelmed his senses as he ran his tongue over her nipple, her hands tightening its grip on his hair in response. It was starting to hurt a bit as she pulled at the strands, completely lost in her own passion as he stimulated her, yet Kuroo didn't mind; rather, it only encouraged him further as he began to take her nipples into his teeth, causing her to cry out at the sensations he induced.

"T-tetsurou...enough, please," she begged in-between gasps as she lifted Kuroo's head from her chest, her eyes dazed and completely overcome with desire.

"All right, all right. I'll stop," he rescinded, pulling away from Y/N slightly as he grinned at the panicked expression on her face.

"N-no, that's not what I-"

"You want me to touch you elsewhere, right?" Kuroo once more reached for the ladle and poured a generous amount of mousse along her thighs. In an instant, he was down on his knees as he positioned her legs atop his shoulders, the new angle allowing him an enticing view of her soaked core. Glancing up momentarily at her, he shuddered in pleasure as he noticed the lustful way she was looking at him.

Licking his fingers clean, he kissed hungrily down her thigh, his tongue darting out to lap up the sweet mixture. Y/N moaned uncontrollably, twining her fingers with the strands of his hair in an attempt to keep him in place. Kuroo's mouth eventually reached her inner thigh, the warm breaths he let out teasing her entrance. He looked up once more to seek out her permission as the single nod she managed was all the confirmation he needed.

His lips and tongue began to stimulate her most sensitive parts, Y/N's grip on his hair tightening as she gasped out in pleasure. She was intoxicating, the high-pitched noises and gestures she made guiding him in his ministrations. As soon as his lips touched her sweet spot, she jerked in surprise, causing Kuroo to cease his actions. "What's wrong? Did that feel good for you?"

Y/N nodded earnestly as she looked down at him; the sight of Kuroo on his knees with his head in-between her legs was just too much to take. Taking her silence as a signal to continue, he resumed his earlier actions, her every response, no matter how miniscule, fueling his own arousal. He decided to take it even further as the deliberate moans he let out caused Y/N to whimper at how pleasurable the vibrations felt.

"T-tetsurou...!" She gasped, her insides tightening which signaled her fast-approaching release. Kuroo made no attempt to stop as the movement of his lips and tongue intensified, pushing her on the verge of coming. Her entire body began to tremble and it wasn't long before she finally climaxed, her upper body slumping forward as she struggled to regain her breathing.

Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, Kuroo swiftly stood and allowed Y/N to lean into his embrace, his hands stroking her hair as her breathing eventually evened. "You okay?"

"Y-yeah, thanks for that," she mumbled in embarrassment, her head pressed against his chest as she listened to his heartbeat, her eyelids gradually becoming heavier.

However, Kuroo was far from being done. He tipped up her chin, all traces of his earlier composure long gone from his face. "Sorry Y/N. We're not done yet. Not when you got me all worked up from that." He drew back and gently pulled her arm, his hands moving to provide support as she hopped down from the counter, her legs slightly wobbling. Her entire body still felt quite sensitive from the remnants of her earlier passion, yet she was eager for more.

His hands moved frantically as he turned Y/N around and pushed her down, her front pressing against the cool surface of the granite countertop. She heard Kuroo curse under his breath as he took in her new position, her face burning at how much more exposed she felt; yet, she couldn't deny the anticipation she felt for what's to come. "Hurry..."

"Shit, hold on...let me just-" Kuroo was frantic now, completely engulfed in his own desire as he reached for his pocket for a condom; he always kept one in hand for "emergency purposes", as he claimed. Holding the packet momentarily between his teeth, his fingers fumbled as he unbuckled and unbuttoned his slacks. Ripping the wrapper off with his teeth, he proceeded to put the condom on, positioning himself behind Y/N. He wrapped his arm around her waist to pull her close as his other hand held his throbbing length. "I'm going in."

He plunged himself deep, both of them moaning uncontrollably at the sensation of their joined bodies. Her insides were unbearably warm and tight, yet she still managed to take in the entirety of his shaft so easily. Snapping his hips forward, Kuroo let out a throaty groan as their position allowed him to reach even deeper parts inside of her. Completely overcome with his overwhelming need, he began thrusting wildly, his grip on her waist tightening.

Y/N grasped the edges of the countertop at the sheer force of his thrusts, her entire being staggering at how relentlessly Kuroo made love to her; but, she was not one to complain as she eventually moved her hips along with his, taking him even deeper than before.

"Shit...Y/N, you feel so good," Kuroo moaned, his teeth nibbling along her earlobe. It was during times like these when she and him indulged in each other that Kuroo strays from his usual composed and laid-back demeanor; she took pride in being able to witness and experience this completely different side of him.

Their lustful moans echoed throughout the apartment, yet despite her current state-of-mind, Y/N managed to recollect herself, well-aware of their neighbors risking on hearing them. She brought up her hand to her mouth to silence herself; however, Kuroo withheld her attempt to do so, too far gone to care about such matters.

"It's too late for that now. Don't hold yourself back, let me hear you." The unbearably seductive manner he had whispered those words fueled Y/N's desire ten-fold, and it wasn't long before she felt her incoming release as her insides tightened, eliciting a throaty groan from Kuroo.

"I-I'm close...Tetsurou...!" She began calling for him even louder then before. Gritting his teeth, Kuroo wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her to a standing position, the new angle allowing him to plunge himself even deeper. His release was fast-approaching as well, his mouth falling atop her shoulder to stifle the lewd noises he was making. Y/N reached up and grasped his hair to keep him in place, her hips moving urgently against his as he showered her neck and shoulders with kisses.

It was just too much to bear, the lustful noises she made intensifying at the sensations he invoked. Moaning out her name, Kuroo lifted her leg and increased his pace, the pleasure of their love-making pushing them on the verge of insanity as they eventually climaxed, Y/N's entire body slumping against his body. Their chests heaving, Kuroo brushed his lips against her cheek, carefully pulling out of her as he collected her languid form into his arms, both of them gradually coming down from their high.

"I love you," he murmured tenderly, his lips brushing against the top of her head.

"I love you, too." Y/N's hands grasped his blazer, glancing upwards to return his smile with her own, both of them in a state of euphoria. It was short-lived, however, as she immediately recollected herself, her panicked eyes darting around the kitchen. "Oh my god, the gratin! And the steak, it's probably oxidized by now...and the chocolate mousse! Only you got to eat it, Tetsurou, you idiot!"

Kuroo couldn't hold back his laughter as she scrambled around the kitchen to collect her discarded clothes, abruptly switching the oven off before moving to check on the remaining dishes of their long-forgotten date night dinner. However, he stopped her in her tracks as he gathered her once more into his embrace. "Before that, I think we should clean up the counter - and more importantly - ourselves first. Besides, even if you feed me burnt crap, I'd still be happy to eat anything you make."

He'd expect her to swoon over his words, yet she only shot him a narrowed look, her hands pushing against his chest. "Butter me up all you want, you're not escaping dish duty tonight."

Kuroo chuckled and watched in amusement as Y/N marched to their bathroom to take a shower, his hands reaching for a rag and disinfectant. He proceeded to wipe the countertop clean, the grin on his face widening as he did. "It was still worth a shot."

[thegirlwholied]

fic writer interview game

(though I go such long spans between updates 'fic writer' is a generous description... look, I may not have glorious purpose but I have glorious excuses)

& thanks @aurorawest for the tag 💕

name: Cara

(...not sure how many of you out there know this actually- except those of you who know me IRL! - as while I love my name I rarely reference it here & do enjoy that a certain corner of the internet knows me as lyin)

fandoms: I am a dabbler, a renaissance fan, a reader-of-all-trades (master of none!)- I'm all over the place; if I like something I check the Tumblr tag; if I reblog it I have probably at least stalked the AO3 page to see what folks are up to (I am in my own little fandom corner- but kitty-corner to many avenues!).

two-shots: the closest I've come to a two-shot I wound up putting up as a one-shot instead (or we could count my one fic that only has 2 chapters, but in my head it has more)

most popular multi-chapter fic: I had to check but my guess was right, it is Glass of Water, & you know, imho the one thing ol' fan fic dot net still has going for it over AO3 is its cool statistics - I don't know who you are, 50-100 people from all over the world reading till the last chapter every month on FF Dot Net even now, but much love!

actual worst part of writing: making myself sit down & get going. When I really get going - I forget to stop, I forget to eat, I don't hear people talking or music (when I toured the Louisa May Alcott house they described her writing like this and I related so much), I go for hours upon hours without meaning to and then I stop and - tend to stay stopped too long. I'm not good at the 'write everyday' process; I'm best at it when traveling, when I'd settle in at a coffee shop or location (or on a plane!), write some, & have to move on, but, uh, global pandemic put a cramp in that. I know it has to be on the page to count but I really, really do a lot of my writing in my head first. Most of my fics, if you've read one, are first drafts, straight up. They just got rewritten in my head & half-started notes & beginning scenes until I finally sat down and the whole thing came out at once feeling right. Or half comes out in one burst and the rest in another burst however much later. Typically I'd adjust a few typos & post. This is by no means writing advice! It'd be bad writing advice! But just how I operate. I've tried other ways but I've learned over years that my work's better when I accomodate/work around my natural creative process rather than trying to change it. (Also deadlines. I'm so good at delivering on hard deadlines; I am weak with soft deadlines.)

how you choose your titles: as this is a fic specific 'interview', how I title fics is very different than my og fiction. Most commonly: song lyric (...actually I did title my og fiction grad school thesis after a song lyric too; i may not hear/play much music while I write but I sure think about writing while listening to it), canon reference that is typically One Dramatic Word, poem/quote references with a heavy lean on Yeats.

do you outine?: not for fan fics, but I have a general shape in my head of 'this chapter where this happens' - if I have an unfinished fic with expected number of chapters, those are pretty accurately predictions; I have at least a big picture of what happens in each chapter. & probably some of the conversations, sometimes even already jotted-down dialogue. A written outline? Not so much (my original novel did have a list of chapters with notes to keep it straight but they looked like "Chapter Thirty-Seven: epilogueeeeeeee denoumenttttttttt job" - direct quote down to the # of t's, there)

Ideas you probably won't get around to, but wouldn't it be nice?: I still convince myself I will finish All the Things! but uh some have gone wayside yeah. One I really thought would be cool & know is blowing in the wind was this Buffy fic (yes, A Fic Not Appearing On My Actual Fic Profiles) which was a *whole* Big Concept thing even though I thought I could do it in 5 chapters. ...And then I didn't.

spicy tangential opinion: not that spicy but the fanon/canon gulf is often wide & deep for certain characters in particular &🎶I'm frightened by those who don't see it🎶. really, a character’s fanon version at times may be more fun (though more often it softens character's edges amd I like edges) but... with *certain characters in particular* it feels like that distinction���s been weirdly lost. Also, random, but probably because,my formative years were fan fic dot net, not livejournal, I always feel odd when my AO3 replies to comments (instead of reviews) are a) public and b) add to the comment count. AND I tend to wind up in a loop of 'wouldn't this person rather I spent this time working on an update' where I just... never reply which seems counter to the expected AO3-cultural norm these days, so I feel guilty? Despite the guilt I just reply to so many emails for a living (3 inboxes just for work, plus then my personal email & texts!)... so for the record my default approach is 'I appreciate all comments SO SO MUCH & do read them all but please message me on Tumblr instead if you want a response". 

These opinions are 'pumpkin spice' levels of spice, not exactly cayenne here, but hey I think I achieved tangential

callouts @ me: I always think I will get there faster than I do - this is true when I am driving places too! My friends expect me to be late even though I don't expect me to be late!- so I have been known to, let's say, overpromise on update speed. (I meant to do my work today, goes a favorite poem that always applies @ me) (Time between 2011 and 2021 feels especially timey-wimey and oh no 🎶well, I guess this is growing up 🎶).

(also @ me: overly fond of parenthesis.)

& definitely some people-pleasing tendencies that spill over into, not so much my writing itself, but how I feel about it.

best writing traits: detail, dialogue, ...deaths? Lol but really. My favorite thing as a reader is when writing make you laugh & cry so those are my favorite compliments as a writer. Humor/angst: always my fic genre. Even my closest-to-fix-it fics are labeled 'somebody lives' not 'everybody lives'. ...and I need to update them (dammit)

tagging: ...this is way too long to tag, aka inflict directly upon, anyone else, except @aurorawest who asked for it 😂