bri / 20+ / any pronouns / multi (realm smp, hermitcraft, life series, crit role, pjo etc.)
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i have this crazy ability to just not be normal in any conversation ever like why am i just yapping about my order of ___ to lovers trope in my english society interview and after reflection of that interview, give off the vibe that i hate romance when i dont and all i really want is a diversifcation of the romance genre
#like brain why is my autopilot conversation topic just niche cringe media and takes that can be misconstrued so easily#cause i like romance its a great genre#i just think that its funny that the love triangle trope 90% is actually just a love angle#and that we need more polyamory and qpr in books in general#but i just have this inability to vocalize this properly so half of the time i sound like an asshole#for example “i love found family and i dont read romance too much cause cause i feel like those tropes are a bit boring”#like why did i word that so harshly like brain can you read and evaluate tone for once
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so i have like an interview in like 20 minutes for a exec team of a club and like what is the expectation for a club interview?? how much do i prepare for this?? do i dress up?? my closest uni friend is literally the president of this club so like to what extent should i be preparing lmao???
#like im fine with proper like job interviews cause i know what to expect#this im kinda like idk is this serious or is there leeway here#ive already decided that im changing into a sweater instead of the hoodie im wearing#so at least ill be somewhat business casual#and i have prepped like examples and things that i want to highlight based on common interview questions#but at the same time i ngl have no idea about what any of the roles actually do lmao#im just joining cause im interested in any position related to canva#but whatever if i get in i get in if i dont i dont yk
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so ive been alternating between watching couri's pov of midoffs and him coaching erik and ive made it to the final day of midoffs and im scared to watch the vod even though i already know what has occurred
#i have such a weird thing with like watching people get bad results#like its not even about the results its moreso the sound of the reaction itself that gets me#idk like i cant name why im like this like the closest i can think of is like empathetic rejection sensitivity???#but its not rejection is just losing in a competitive setting but idk what other word to call it???#idk im just rambling at this point once i get to the winners finals results ill just skip forward a few seconds or something
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its prob cause ive only been watching speedrunning content for the past few days but i genuinely think that lukey could lock in on minecraft speedrunning like i feel like hes the kind of guy that would get really into learning all the technical stuff like portal building, bastion routes, preemptive etc. and he would also like the general trial and error vibe as well plus he would just really like the competitive element of speedrunning too
idk just thoughts cause i was reminded that we almost got lukey in for midoffs and i am def hoping that he gets chosen as a player if midoffs season 2 happens
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i desperately need to like lock in and start pre-term prepping asap like at least put in the due dates of my own course that i created into my calendar yk or at the very least find and download my reading pdfs like can i please lock in instead of watching hours of couriway coaching vods
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i cant be the only one to have noticed that on ao3 they started adding "lucas osborn" to lukey's tags have i...
#lukey#lukeytv#like i get it that his name is public information but still it was a bit of a jumpscare ngl
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had no idea that lukey was still live on his alt lmao
#like i knew he was live like 4 hours ago but its like 1:40 est and bros in the uk#like i thought he would have been offline by now esp cause he main streamed today too#but alas lukeys horrible sleep schedule should be expected /lh
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just noticed that my upper wisdom teeth are starting to come in (in the way that i can literally feel the tooth through my gums) and im just pissed cause ive been home for 8 whole months and i felt nothing but as soon as im about to go back to school aka away from my dentist my wisdom teeth starts acting up like fuck this
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woogie saw that lukey'd named a polar bear after him on bitsmp awwwwwwww and he said he's gonna name an artic fox after him on lifesteal <3
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im gonna be so honest i dont think the lawyer fic will ever be finished but i do want to like write something of an outline of what i wanted to do with it cause ive had like a vague idea of the future of it since its initial inception
#lawyer fic rambles#like idk maybe i like write it on ao3 or maybe i just do it here#but like the main issue i had with the fic is that i had the initial events laid#but i had no idea how to actually get pangkey to actually fall in love lmao#idk i think i was too fixated on the legal research and less so on how tf are these two people gonna end up kissing#but also thats just me with fic writing in general like unless youre an established relationship i have no idea how to write proper yearnin#or realization of feelings or anything along those lines lmao#also did not help that i mentally told myself that i was gonna post the next chapter after the realm ended#and the realm is currently in the depths of limbo so idk lol#also the fact that i think ive drifted away from pangkey in general#like i still care about the content but like i dont care about lifesteal or bitsmp all that much#like currently ive just been watching couri midoff training vods with jumper lmao#havent watched any of the recent lukey streams besides clicking on it to keep my stream streak#so yeah idk i dont love leaving fics unfinished#i wont delete it but i might just orphan it#but yeah i think its run its course yk
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i need more people to look at tertel's photography because it's so so good, if you have instagram it's here and if you don't you should still open it to look at the photos they're gorgeous
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the shitty thing about building experience for things like masters applications or even like just uni applications in general is that i feel this need to like join clubs or societies or associations but i genuinely just have no interest in them at all... like im an english major right? one of my closets uni friends is literally the president of my uni's english society. they're hiring for the fall term and i know i could probably get in and it would be great experience as its relevant to my academics and would allow me to build connections. but i simply dont want to... i dont want to be designing insta posts in canva, i dont want to communicate with different clubs to help with the newsletter, i dont want to work on merch or events and like... its a choice on whether i do this thing that i'll probably be fine with but have no vested interest in for the sake of the cv/resume or if i just dont and instead focus on my academics that i know will be a heavy time load this term
#me complaining about real life stuff lmao#like i know im a lazy person ngl#i dont put effort into things unless i am like fully hyperfixated or have some sort of genuine interest in it at the moment#and i know that this is an issue of mines in general#and its not like if i do join i would produce shitty work#cause no i respect the time and effort of the team and i would do my part completely#but also like... idk im just iffy#ill probably apply ngl#i am planning on doing masters and i do need some more relevant academic experience besides my tutoring
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Couriway it seems I’ve grown quite fond of you tho there are no sexual urges or desires you come to me as a long lost friend whom I once picked apples with in papa’s orchard
#ive only been watching couri and hgb content for the past 2 days#ive grown immensely fond of these speedrunners but esp couri
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The clip from the end of stream for those who might've needed proof
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